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lokidokiliteratureclub · 5 years

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Frostbitten (Chapter One)

Loki x Reader

Prologue

Y/N L/N is a child of a Jotun and an Asgardian. She spends her life hidden in the dungeons of Asgard, with no one to talk to other than one of the princes- a man who seems completely incapable of leaving her alone and entirely unable to give up on helping her. Y/N and Loki Odinson have always been inseparable, it seems- even when there is a cell wall, or a village, or an entire kingdom between them.

Even when he disappears, even when you run away, and even when his world falls apart; you are inseparable.

Oh lordy the first part of this fic got waaayy more attention than I was expecting If you want to be added for tags in this series, leave a comment or send me an ask, and I’ll add you for the coming parts. Thanks so much for reading!!

P.S.: This part is not action-filled or anything. The interesting stuff starts the next part.

P.P.S: Normally I don’t update this quickly- I just wasn’t doing anything else today.

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Twelve Years Later

Loki Odinson has not been down in the dungeons for two months. That's two months of being alone. Two months of not speaking. Two months of you wondering what's wrong on the surface. Three times so far you've gotten too close to the barrier. Those three times are hardened burns on your blue arms. Small welts on your soft palms. Scratches on your bare knees. The lady who brings you food in the morning noticed the wounds but said nothing- simply laying a tub of ice on the table next to a soft washcloth.

The fact that they actually gave you an unassembled ice pack for your injuries makes you want to laugh. It sounds like something you’d tell Loki about. You add it silently to the list of things you’ll tell him when he comes back.

If he comes back.

Loki has left before- usually with a warning, though. Usually only for a week. It has been eight.

One day he’s sitting outside your cell, applauding you on how far you’ve advanced in magic and droning on about how he wishes he could see you without the yellow film between you- maybe even touch you. Shake your hand. Touch your shoulder. Things that people can do when they’re not imprisoned under a giant castle or unable to control whose arm they freeze off. One day, you two are dreaming of what could be, completely absorbed in each other's thoughts and words, and the next, the inseparable become separated.

And even though it’s possible that he left you by choice, you’re more worried for him than you are about yourself.

"Hey, Njord," you speak aloud, targeting one of the head guards on patrol. He doesn't stop to look at you, not even shifting from his position outside your cell. "Hey, Njord," you say, louder. "What's the buzz? How's the royal family?"

Njord heaves an annoyed sigh but doesn't respond. You scoot closer to the barrier so that you and the guard are only really about a foot apart.

"Hey, Njord,"

He makes a huffing noise.

"I'd like a book. Or a cup of tea. Is that arrangeable?" You tilt your head, fiddling with a couple spare strands of hair. "Your beard looks rather nice today. Very clean."

Njord gives a slight swell of pride and raises a hand to caress his beard, but then he realizes he doesn't have a beard. His face falls. He looks sad. You almost feel bad, but you don’t. So you laugh.

"Don't tease him, he lost the beard in a bet," says Lady Sif, descending into the prison in a bit of haste and sparing you a quick glance. "Haven't you anything else to do, prisoner?"

You shrug, rolling onto your back and staring at the ceiling. "I'm a twenty-two-y-year-old Jotun-Asgardian hybrid in prison, whose only companion has been inexplicably absent for two months. Njord won't get me books. I haven't seen the light of day in fourteen years. I have literally nothing to think about and nothing to do, so no."

"Njord, get her a book or two so she'll quit talking," Sif grumbles, and footsteps let you know that he is leaving.

You roll onto your stomach, staring out at her. She's dismounting a shield and removing a sword from one of the upper shelves of the guard's stock. She's a bit flimsy with the weapons from what you can see, but Loki had insisted that she showed promise in the combat field. More than meets the eye, you suppose.

You watch her fasten the shield to her arm and prop yourself up on your elbows. "Will you be joining the staff down here?"

She sends you a pointed glare. "No. I'll be joining the staff up there." Sif nods toward the stairs leading out of the dungeons and grabs a sword sheath from another shelf, attempting to fasten that on as well.

"Joining the army? How patriotic."

She ignores you, sheaths the sword, and heads back up.

"Hm." You exhale. "Rude."

Moments later, Njord arrives back in your cell, stepping through the energy barrier like it’s not even there. He drops a single hardcover down in front of you, then strides back out and resumes his post. The book is long- which is probably what Njord was going for when he found it. It’ll take you especially long since you really have only known how to read for three years- courtesy of Loki, of course. The gift of literacy is one of the many you’ve received from him. Hopefully, it can save you from dying of boredom or worry while you wonder where the hel he is.

The first thing you notice when you look at the book is that it’s completely tattered- sometimes with entire pages missing out of it. The pages that remain are yellowed and reek of a musty, almost moldy smell. You wrinkle your nose, looking back to Njord.

“Where did you get this?” you ask, shaking your head.

Njord finally gives in and responds with a grain of salt: “The book cart outside the dungeon. Last one.”

There’s no book cart outside the dungeon. They keep the area empty to ensure there aren’t any messages being passed between the outside world and the world down here.

Could Loki be trying to... no. Well, maybe. Maybe he’s banned from the dungeons. Maybe this is his only way to contact. Maybe he hasn’t abandoned you, and he’s been trying to contact all this time. The thought of it gives you the tiniest shard of hope.

You look back down at the book, then very carefully open it. The title is Where You Will and it appears to be romantic fiction. A picture of a girl and a boy are drawn next to each other, the boy wrapping the girl in a shawl. There’s a smeared fingerprint beside the title, and a small note is written in the margin in sloppy, rushed lettering.

I’m cold.

You frown, moving your thumb over the words.

That turned out to be exactly what you needed to do.

In the places where your finger met the page, you see pieces of discoloration. Your heart starts to beat a bit faster, twisting in your chest. You press your entire palm to the page for a moment and then lift it.

It’s a drawing of a snake and beside it a lightly sketched snowflake.

Ok, this is definitely Loki. And unless he’s communicating with another Jotun prisoner who happens to be able to read and happens to have the audacity to ask a guard for books, the message in this book is for you.

You turn the page and grip the side of the book, spilling frost over the surface of the parchment. There are no notes- instead, there are very slight, nearly hidden underlines under some letters. You read over them, putting them together in your head.

y o u n e e d T o l e a V e

And then you flip the page, giving it the same treatment.

c o l d Is t h e a B s e n c e o f e n E r g y

Then the next page.

t r Y t o d I S s a p e a r

Then,

I w I l l f i n d y o u w H e r e v e r y o u a r e - L

You flip to the next page, and then the next, and the next, until you’re absolutely positive that you’ve seen every message.

If this is Loki, which it has to be, how long have the books been there? Weeks? A month? How old is this message? And why should you hide?

Cold is the absence of energy.

You at least know what that means. The barrier is pure energy. Loki seems to be implying that you can freeze it, or suck all the juice out of it, or something similar. He clearly thinks you’re more powerful than you are. Not a surprise. That’s kind of his signature move: overestimating you.

It’s charming in a disappointing way.

Your lips curve into a smile, but it fades into a frown at the thought that whatever Loki is trying to get you away from you cannot escape. You might never see him again. That’s a bit of a dark thought. To never see his sculpted face or charming smile, his dark hair or bright eyes- it leaves a sort of hole in your chest.

You can’t ever see him again. But can you talk to him? There’s no invisible ink for you to use, but...

You squeeze your eyes shut, wincing, and then bite roughly down on the inside of your cheek until you taste blood. You slip a finger inside your mouth and, using the same communication strategy Loki did, wipe a faint smear of blue over letters on the page, spelling out what you want him to see.

You set down the book and stand up, moving toward the small bed in the back of the cell. Your fear moves through your body and crystalizes on the floor, leaving a trail of ice in your wake.

You repeat your list of things to remember, your list of things you’ve been told, as you lie down, coaxing yourself into sleep.

You are going to be okay, and nothing can stop that from being so. Not the princes. Not the armies. Not the guards or the walls or the bars that hold you in. Not the ice in your blood or the dark in your eyes. You are safe. You will always be safe. You are not a monster. You are not alone. You can control yourself. I will watch over you.

----

Loki Odinson has not been down to the dungeons in two months. That’s two months of wondering what could be going wrong. That’s two months of hoping you know he hasn’t abandoned you. That’s three attempts at contact, this last one being the most obvious. Writing in a book with ink that can only be seen in the cold. He just has to hope you ask for books, and hope the guards comply.

He does not enjoy being apart from you, and even though he was fully aware that it was going to be hard- suddenly not having you in his life, that is- he could not have anticipated just how hard it was. He actually spoke to his brother, for Odin’s sake. That wasn’t even the hardest task of them all.

You are an echo inside his mind. A song that plays over and over and over, no matter how infuriating it can be. Every time he thinks he can think about something else, you creep back into his mind and he becomes restless again. He buries his head in his hands and tries not to rip out every strand of hair, failing not to picture the worst that could happen if you aren’t prepared. If he can’t get you out of the castle before something.. before it happens. And it’s happening.

When he sees that the book is gone from the cart, his heart nearly stops. He takes a deep breath, puts on a scowl, and confronts an annoyed Njord as he exits the dungeons.

“Hey, Njord,” he speaks, trying his best to sound uninterested. “Where’s my book?”

Njord stiffens at the sound of Loki’s cold voice and turns deftly toward him. “Your book, your highness?”

“I left it on the cart outside.” He signals to the empty cart, and Njord goes a shade whiter. “You were on guard, yes?”

“The book was yours, sir?”

“Did you give it to someone else?”

“One of the prisoners, sir. Forgive me, I thought it to be meant for-” he breaks off, noticing Loki’s disinterest in the conversation. “I’ll retrieve it at once.”

Moments later, he returns, grasping the book in his hands. He holds it out to Loki, and the prince swiftly takes it from him, huffing to keep from bursting into tears. Njord looks like he might go into cardiac arrest, on the other hand, so Loki adds: “If the prisoners are in need of some form of entertainment, I’ll gather a collection of books personally.”

Njord nods, swallowing. “Yes, sir.”

“Don’t do it again.”

“Of course not, sir.”

“Good,” Loki turns on his heel, away from the guard. “Oh, and your beard is looking swell today, Njord.”

He strides, perhaps a bit too quickly, over to the library, and drops the book on the table, flipping to the opening page. It’s empty. But turn another, and smears of blue appear, clouding over certain letters. Loki’s pulse quickens. He finds his grip tightening on the table as he strings the words together.

I m n O t t h a t s t r o n g

an awful lie, followed by

w h a t a m I h I d i n g f r o M

Loki exhales and rips the pages from the book, shoving them into his pocket and throwing the damaged copy aside. He’s moving to another shelf, reaching for a book to reply with when his eye catches that of his mother as she passes by. Her shoulder brushes gently against his as she moves to stand next to him, staring over the sea of books along the shelves.

“You’re stressed,” she comments, looking over him. “Is something bothering you?”

“No, no, nothing,” he mutters in return. Frigga looks at him skeptically. “I promise, mother. It’s just that I’m a bit-”

“Don’t lie to me, dear,” she interrupts, reaching into her pocket. Loki’s eyes follow her hand, and she sets a small key on the shelf in front of him, smiling slightly. “It’s perfectly alright to worry about someone. Especially when that person may be in danger.”

She knows.

Loki just stares, first at the key, then at his mother. He opens his mouth and then closes it, and then says: “How long have you...”

“How could I not?” She finishes for him. “Your eyes light up when you speak of someone you care about.”

There’s a heavy silence.

“Thank you,” he says.

“Don’t thank me until after you find what you’re looking for,” she replies.

Then she turns, and she’s gone.

Loki picks up the key, leaves the books, and rushes to his room to prepare for the worst.

Frostbitten Tags:

@natalia-rushman @what-inspirational-name @jessiejunebug @fandomdestroyer @a-new-schematic @iris-suoh

#loki x reader #Loki Laufeyson #loki x reader fluff #loki (marvel)#marvel

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serahsanguine · 5 years

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Whats Left Unsaid, Says It All

What’s Left Unsaid, Says it all part 6/?

Rating; NC-17, NSFW

This Story can be found at Ao3

part 1, part 2, part 3, part 4, part 5

Tagging; @peacenik0 @today-in-fic

p.s. if you would like updates and be tagged please let me know :)

p.p.s Thank you to @scully-eats-sushi for so much help trying to use Tumblr

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Chapter 6; Bella Vita (Beautiful Life)

A few hours had passed since he arrived and Mulder was still laying scrunched up in the fetal position on the living room floor of Scully's empty apartment, after having cried so hard that he had fallen asleep from the sheer exhaustion of it all.

There was a small rattle on the other side of the front door (the doorknob being turned) but Mulder still didn't rouse from his spot on the cold, hardwood floors. He vaguely heard soft footsteps making their way across the room towards him but he still did not move. Honestly, he didn't know if his limbs would even work after all this time of inactivity and knew that he didn't have the brain power to deal with whoever it was. He was hoping that they would see that he wanted to be left alone, and leave without bothering him. He was wrong.

Suddenly, he felt warm delicate hands trail over the expanse of his back, trying to sooth his rigid body and the impossibly soft whisper of his name and yet, he still didn't acknowledge or move in response. Mulder just didn't care anymore, not after everything that he had lost.

It wasn't until the fourth or fifth time of his name being gently said from behind him, with a small hint of sadness in the voice that he indeed recognised it as HIS name... and the voice saying it. He rolled his stiff body over towards the sound, to find a petite redheaded woman kneeling beside him, her eyes were red and puffy and her complexion was pale, her cheeks wet and cold. She looked heartbroken, as her thumb make careful slow circles on his upper arm. Then and only then did he speak, moved to do so by her presence in his life again.

"Scully?" he whispered, barely audible to the human ear and through silent tears.

"Yes. Mulder, It’s me. I’m here"

Mulder immediately lifted his head up and into Scully’s lap, not even noticing the small round baby bump covered by a navy blue turtleneck, and cried; letting go of every stupid thought that his brain had concocted in the last few hours.

"Shh. It's OK. I'm here. I'm sorry, Mulder... just let it all go. Everything's OK now" Scully whispered over and over again until his heart-wrenching sobs turned into small quiet cries, her hand still caressing his arm.

When Mulder finally managed to control his emotions and get control over his tears, he sat up straight, eyes coming into focus and settling on her stomach and then travelling up to her chest and finally to her face; to those crystal blue eyes that he loved.

She nodded, a smile beginning to appear on her face, to the question he was about the ask. Mulder looked down at her perfectly round pregnant belly and then back up to her eyes again. He was shocked... but so so happy. No words were ever spoken, because there was no need for them, they both knew what it meant. Scully nodded her head, as Mulder placed his large right hand on her stomach and he could feel a tiny creature move within the safety of her womb, smiling from ear to ear.

He thought to himself that it felt like... an alien kicking against his palm. He was still smiling when she looked at him, his facial expression saying everything that needed to be said. Mulder was beyond thrilled, knowing that it was his child that she was carrying, that they had created this perfect being together... he quickly looked up again, searching her eyes for the answer and she whispered.

"It's a girl"

And looked back down at her stomach, still able to feel his perfect little girl moving around, so full of life and kicking beneath the taut skin. He was so mesmerised, eyes growing heavy again after the emotional roller coaster of the past few hours. But he felt safe and loved by the family that he had found. Wasn't alone anymore. Sure, it was unexpected but definitely not unwanted, and he was going to love Scully and his child with every fibre of his being. Mulder's eyes slipped shut, a feeling of warmth and contentment flooding through his body.

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He woke up again, not knowing how long he had been lying there but it was dark out and he could tell that he was alone. Scully was gone. Mulder sucked in a breath, and tried to remember if she said she was leaving, or if... and then it hit him. He realised that she had never been there, that they weren't about to be parents and that his life was just as empty as before. Obviously, it had all been some elaborate and sick joke his subconscious had played on him. And he broke down again, rocking back and forth his hands pressed to his eyes, tears escaping through his fingers. How could this be happening? Why had she left? He felt no emotion... just complete and utter emptiness. It was the only way he was going to cope and he blacked out again.

Several hours later.

Mulder woke up, a broken shell of himself. He was dehydrated and sore, the upper part of his body on the rug in her living room and his hips and legs on the hardwood floors where the sofa usually is.

Figuring out that he had passed out for the second time in a matter of hours, in Scully's empty apartment, he tried to move, to get up but it was difficult because his knees and hips hurt and he had somehow given himself carpet burn on his cheek during his breakdown.

He could smell her in the carpet that he had clearly crawled onto at some point during the night and wanted to get away from it. It was too much, he wanted to get away from all of it. From her, from DC.. and from himself. Why was he such a fuck up? He hated himself so much right now.

Mulder stood up feeling completely numb to his core, absolutely heartbroken and just a bit woozy on his feet. Oh, and starving... he hadn't eaten since, he couldn't even remember and he had no idea how long he had been here. His heart started racing, the fear and pain consuming him... he had to leave this place, go for a walk, do something. He couldn't just stand here, he had to find her, to explain to her how he felt; to ask her to come back to him. He tried to take a step, put one foot in front of the other but fell to the floor, his body was too heavy and sore to move... he felt paralysed.

But he to push through the pain, needed to move, to find her and he had to turn his sorrow into something more productive, something that would make him move from this spot and turn his life around. Because what he was feeling now was too much for him to handle it and he knew that it would eat away at him, little by little. That it would consume him and swallow him whole, that this kind of sorrow would bury him alive.

Forcing his body to move, using all of the strength in his arms that he could muster right now, he pushed himself up and off the ground. Once he was standing upright, he forced his legs to move, one foot in front of the other just barely making his way to her bedroom. Looking at the emptiness of the room, he almost couldn't breathe. There were so many memories made in this room of them, laying naked sharing moments no one else would see just the two of them as their souls would merge and their hearts would sore and sparks would fly as the lovemaking erupted into the stratosphere. And now all that's there are dust particles shimmering in the rays of the sun coming up and streaming in through the window.

He shut the door and walked over to her bathroom everything was gone in there too; her little shampoo bottles, the array of candles... everything but he could still smell her perfume lingering in the air, standing there he just stared at the empty shower cubicle and remembered the beautiful things that happened there. The way the water would bounce off her beautiful pale skin and down her face sliding down her upper torso and onto her legs, the simple pleasure she got from the hot water hitting her face and washing away her troubles from the long days they shared together at work or on the weekends. He liked it when Scully was make up free and naked in the shower because she was so natural and free...and he could see every freckle and every blemish, even that beauty spot she liked to hide but he not so secretly loved. Suddenly, Mulder closed the door, slamming it with an unexpected force desperately trying not to dwell on the thoughts that invaded his mind.

He really needed to get the fuck out of this apartment before the sorrow and the despair got to him, before it swallowed him whole leaving him paralyzed and broken beyond repair. He quickly ran to her front door shutting it and locking it behind him. Not even knowing where to start; was she even classified as a missing person yet? It occurred to him that he didn't even know how long she had been gone. Would the FBI even help if she went of her own free will? Jesus, what if left because she felt smothered by me. Did the new Assistant Director know where she was? It was possible, she must have left her job. Did she tell the AD and not me? Probably. Does her family know? Surely, if she was going to leave town Mrs Scully would know, maybe Melissa knows something? What about her doctor friend? He would try all of them, and if they didn't know... he would do it himself.

Mulder didn't even realise that he had arrived at his car, he was so consumed by his thought. He stopped for a moment, gathering himself and then open the car door and sat down heavily, in the driver's seat. The car was empty, much like his life, but still memories of the past came flooding into his mind.

He took another deep breath, his heart breaking all over again. Scully had told him once 'I wouldn't put my life on the line for anybody but you'. So what's changed? Why now? Mulder slammed his clenched fists against the steering wheel, anger finally taking over and he began shouting, screaming and letting all of his frustrations out but it was only met with silence in the empty car. After calming down, he turned the key in the ignition before driving to the Hoover building.

He soon arrived at Skinner's office and the secretary, Arlene, shot him a weird look before telling him to sit down and that the A.D. would be out in a moment to talk with him. Mulder hadn't even looked into a mirror since waking up in Scully's apartment and he didn't know how long he had been there, in fact he didn't know what day it was nor did he care.

"Come in Agent Mulder Take A seat" Skinner opened the door to his office, gesturing for him to join inside.

Mulder looked up at the man speaking to him, he was wearing a clean-cut dark suit, white shirt and a tie to match, he was between 40-50 years of age and wore wire-rimmed glasses.

He stood up wobbling slightly, then walked into the office and sat down watching A.D. Skinner walk behind his desk and take a seat. Once Skinner sat down Mulder finally had the courage to speak.

"Sir, have you heard anything about Agent Scully?"

"No, I haven’t Agent Mulder. Has something happened?" Skinner asked, looking intently at the younger Agent in front of him, and he instantly knew something had happened.

Mulder's floppy brown hair was dishevelled and stuck in parts to his forehead, his suit was crumpled and he wasn't even wearing his suit jacket anymore (he had tossed it onto the back seat of his car in frustration) and it looked like he hadn't slept in days. Maybe even a week. His eyes were bloodshot and he looked like the slightest noise would set him off. Skinner hoped that he didn't have his gun on him, because it was an accident waiting to happen if he did and that was paperwork he had no interest in filling out.

"Yes! Umm, actually... I don't know. I understand that you approved a four-week vacation, for Agent Scully. But I... I went to her apartment... and it was empty!"

"Hmm. I don’t know what to say, Agent. Is it possible she has moved?"

"It’s not that, Sir. I believe that she would have said something... if that was the case"

"Well again, I don’t know what to say. I'm sure it's nothing. Perhaps, she just needed a break. Listen, I will let you know if I hear anything but as far as I am aware Agent Scully will be back in two weeks"

"Thank you, Sir" Mulder sighed, walking out of the office and contemplated whether to go down to the office or to just go home, but quickly decided to gone down to the basement office, hoping he could find something about where Scully had gone and maybe he would ring the Lone Gunmen and see if they could track her whereabouts if he didn’t have any luck. He hoped that he would have luck, that she might have left some clues that he had missed before, in their office... because it was THEIR office.

Many Hours Later.

Mulder walked into his apartment and threw his keys, badge and gun on the table near the front door completely missing the mark and not really caring enough to pick it all up.

Sitting down on the brown leather sofa, his mind was in utter turmoil, knowing that he should try and get some sleep but also knowing with 100% certainty that he wouldn’t be able to because the love of his life had walked out on him without telling him what he had done and leaving no a note, nor an email. Literally nothing. Almost like she had never existed in the first place.

He could see now, all those little things that he missed over the past couple of months adding up and it suddenly made sense. Scully had been pulling away from him, they'd had, what he thought were small arguments... hell, they'd had big arguments too, and maybe it was all meant to brace him for future events. Maybe she was trying to tell him something this whole time. But this was his life, which meant that even when something good happens in it, it always goes horribly wrong; his sister went missing, Phoebe manipulated him and Diana left him. Mulder thought he was finally able to let someone back into his life, into his heart even though he didn't trust easy, but he trusted Scully with every fibre of his being and she betrayed him, like everyone else. She made his life mean something, and now it was empty again.

Mulder doesn't know what to do now, or where his life is going, or who he is without Scully in his life. It felt like he was forever going to wander this world broken and bleeding and beyond repair, having lost it all, or everything that matters to him. And now he had lost the only person that he could see himself spending the rest of his life with and her name was Dana Katherine Scully. He found himself dreaming of Scully in shades black and white, like a scene from the silver screen.

They were walking in the moonlight and she pulled him close but in split second, before he could kiss her, she disappeared and he was all alone again. Mulder woke up in tears the realisation that even after everything that had happened, all he wanted to do was hold her, overwhelming him. He had taken his time with her for granted and knowing that he didn't get to say I love you, might be his greatest regret.

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Dear Diary

It has been almost two whole weeks since I wrote in you. by now Mulder will have found that my apartment is empty and that I no longer live there. Knowing him, as well as I do, he has probably been asking himself what he did wrong. And whether or not there is something he can do to fix what happened between us. But the truth is... he never did anything wrong. I don't think he could, that's how pure he is. It was all my fault and I wish I could take it back but it's too late now.

If I haven't made it clear, I moved out of state over two weeks ago and the only people that know where I am are my older sister, Missy... and my Doctor (and good friend)Rachel.

I haven’t had the strength to even tell my mother yet, all that she knows is that I have moved, that it was an extremely personal decision and I am safe and sound. She couldn't resist asking me one question though, she asked if it had anything to do with Mulder and I said that it didn't. I don't know if she believed me but she appeared to accept my answer. I did ask her to keep an eye on him though and she offered to try but thought it might be difficult seeing as she doesn't know him very well.

Missy will be taking a flight back to DC soon, to give the finalisation papers I signed to my landlord and end my lease for good. Giving it some thought, that apartment would be too small for me, Missy and the twins anyway. She has also been getting increasingly worried as my pregnancy progresses. I try to tell her not to be, that everything is going well so far... but I don't think she ever expected to be in this situation and honestly, neither did I. I thought I would be married, and that maybe we'd start with having one child. But things never turn out the way you expect or want.

I am now 30 weeks along, and she's worried that I'm isolating myself from everyone and everything... and in a way I suppose I am. It makes things easier and means I don’t have to make attachments here, in case I don’t want to stay for whatever reason. I don’t know where I am going, or how I am getting there or what the future holds. So for now I am going to say goodbye

Yours faithfully Dana

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Mulder was sitting in Mrs Scully's house this was the second time they had met since Scully had disappeared. The first time was when Mulder had rung Mrs Scully and asked if she had seen or heard from Scully in recent weeks. What he had learnt from the conversation was; Scully had called her mother often but would not say where she was or why she so abruptly ended her lease and moved. Mulder and Mrs Scully had met at a diner near the Hoover building and from that meeting she invited him around for a small dinner a few days later.

He thought Maggie might be pitying him but also knew that she was obviously missing her daughter too. He pushed aside all of the thoughts that were creating turmoil in his mind, every waking second of the day, so he could be there for Scully's mom and this dinner would be a nice escape from his thoughts, at least for a few hours... so he had agreed.

Mulder was now sitting at a small round table in the middle of a beautiful kitchen, the colours warm and welcoming. He sat there staring at two pictures hanging on the wall, there were all sort of photos of a loving family well cherished but one in particular caught his eye; there were two young children playing on the beach caught unawares in a perfect moment, one of the children was Scully. Mulder took an educated guess that the younger boy was her brother, Charlie. They were building a sandcastle, they must have been between five to six years old. He thought that they could easily be mistaken for twins. Mulder couldn't shake the image of the dream he had a few weeks ago of him, Scully and their little girl growing inside of her belly. He shook his head, trying not to dwell on the memory but he could feel his eyes threatening to tear up and fall down his cheeks... that when Mrs Scully caught his attention and asked him something.

"Pardon, I didn’t catch that can... can you say that again please, Mrs Scully"

"Maggie, please. I was asking... if you're OK. You look pale all of a sudden like you've seen a ghost"

"Yes, I'm fine... thank you. I was just wondering if you had heard from Dana again?"

"No, Fox. Not since the last time we had spoken. I know you're worried, but when she's ready to tell us what has happened and where she has gone... I'm sure she will let us know"

"Thank you Mrs... I mean, Maggie"

Maggie could see that the young man sitting in front of her was battling within himself and that he carried a pain deep inside, she could also see he cared about Dana and from the way her daughter had spoken about him she knew that her daughter cared deeply about him too. But what she could not understand is why Dana moved so suddenly and didn’t tell anyone why and for what purpose, knowing Dana as well as she did she knew there must be a reason and for which in time she would let everyone know but for now she wasn’t ready and so as Dana's mother, she would not push her for information and let it happen when the time is right.

"It’s my pleasure, Fox. I hope you like lasagne... you look like you could do with a good warm home cooked meal at the moment" Maggie said with a smile.

Mulder nodded and watched Maggie head back into the kitchen and plate up their dinner.

************************************************************************

Dear Diary

I am now 32 weeks pregnant and a lot has happened in the last two week not with me per se, but with everyone else in my life... and by everyone I mean, Missy and Mom.

I should really start from the beginning or it's not going to make any sense.

Mom phoned me a couple of days ago, and as you know I have asked her to keep an eye on Mulder for me. Well, I should have been more specific I suppose; what I meant by keeping an eye on him was a phone call every now and then but my Mom had other ideas and I’m still not sure if it’s a good thing or not. Apparently my Mom did indeed ring Mulder and they had met up for dinner near where I used to work. She said that he seemed to enjoy the company, but on the other hand, something was off with him. She said that Mulder looked sad, but more than that... he seemed a shell of the person that I had described to her over the past year, she said he looked like he was on autopilot.

Speaking when meant to, eating when told and I would say sleeping whenever but we all know Mulder doesn't sleep. As you can imagine, my Mom was confused by all of this. So she took it upon herself to invite him to dinner at her house and oh boy when Mom said that I was left speechless. I didn't know whether to be glad or slightly concerned about it. Mom said that the dinner went well, considering and that they ate lasagne which she later found out was one of his favourites. He asked about me a lot, to which I am not surprised. I think about him a lot, too. Mom says she doesn't understand why I just can't tell him or her where I am or why I moved. She also doesn't understand why I don't just declare my feelings for Mulder. I tried to tell her that I didn't have any feelings for him but she simply said "you're my daughter, and I know when you are lying" nothing more needed to be said after that. I mean, what could I say in response? She was right and we both knew it.

I remember the phone line went quiet for a few minutes. I suppose neither of us knew what to say, so we sat there for a moment listening to each other breathing from three thousand miles away, the silence quickly becoming uncomfortable. I honestly didn’t know what to say, so finally Mom spoke again... telling me about what she and Mulder had spoken about, which was kind of embarrassing on my part. Apparently, Mulder was eager to listen to stories about me and Charlie when we were younger and with each story told he seemed to relax more and more. She said that his enjoyment of her stories made her laugh.

Mom said she was going to invite him along again, just to make sure that he's quote-unquote OK and has a decent meal inside of him, because she thought he wasn't eating well. Not that I've ever seen him eat well, of course. I thanked her for being welcoming to Mulder and I meant it, this little act of kindness from my Mom meant the world to me. I think that's one of the reasons she did it, because she knew it would make me happy. After we said our goodbyes, I sat there in silence as I tried to process the things that my mother had told me. What if Mulder did want kids? He would have been a great father and a great husband. He's so passionate and so loyal. My one, my everything, my soul mate. But I soon realised that this kind of thinking was ridiculous, especially in this instance. A couple of hours later I was still sitting on the sofa, until I finally made my way to bed which has been getting more difficult these days because my stomach is huge. I feel like a whale and I am definitely waddling now. Anyway, I climbed into bed clutching one of Mulder's shirts which I took without him knowing. I needed something, and it was easily pilfered during one of our nights together. I can smell his scent clinging to the peace of cloth as I hold tightly in my hands and began to cry. Damn, I was missing him so much. If there is a light at the end of the tunnel... I can't find it. I don't know if I can do this alone. I'm scared. I need him, I love him. Thinking about him hurts so much, anyway let's change the subject.

Missy went back to DC to see Mom but mostly did it to hand in my end of lease notice on the Georgetown apartment, but what she found there she wasn't expecting. Let me elaborate.

************************************************************************

Flashback.

Mulder had been virtually living in Scully's empty apartment for the last two weeks, eating sleeping... kind of. It was the only way he could think of to be close to her and what they had. Maggie bless her heart had no idea where Scully was, and he didn't want to keep putting her through the pain of all of his questions that would remain unanswered until the right time came. Scully had changed her number. Missy had blocked or was avoiding his calls. So, he had taken three weeks of ‘Vacation' time, to recharge and try to work on the X-Files but it wasn't the same, he had no one to bounce ideas off or to challenge him and he found himself slipping deeper and deeper down the rabbit hole. He felt numb to everything and anyone, even though the numbness of everything he still felt anger, but not at Scully... no, he would never be angry at Scully. It was more at himself for falling in love, or specifically his love for Scully. She was the best damn thing that ever happened to him and he was angry at the fact that he missed all of the signs again.

So there he was laying aimlessly on the floor staring at the ceiling like he could burn a hole in it by just thinking and staring, when the door handle rattled because someone was putting a key in the lock and unlocking it. He immediately grabbed his gun and in the blink of an eye, he was standing at the door, watching as it flew open and suddenly there stood before him a tall redhead, also known as Melissa Scully.

Both were shocked to find each other there; Missy wasn’t expecting Mulder to be there at all and Mulder wasn’t expecting to see Missy, maybe Maggie or the landlord but definitely not her. They stood there, silently, for a few minutes neither saying a word, just staring at each other.

Finally Missy broke the spell of silence.

"What are you doing here Fox?" she asked.

Mulder said nothing and carried on staring at her, so Missy tried again.

"How long have you been sleeping on Dana's living room floor?"

Still Mulder didn't answer. He was somewhat embarrassed at being caught in such a stalker-y position.

Missy looked around the room noticing a pile of clothes (dirty and clean), food wrappers and a blanket in the middle of the room. He saw the expression on her face change, from one of shock to sadness.

She sighed when she realised that he had clearly been sleeping here for at least two weeks. Mulder looked terrible; he was unshaven, slightly skinnier and then she saw the look of loneliness in his eyes. He was full of sorrow and she couldn't handle it, knowing she was a small part in why he was in this current state.

"How did you get a key?" she asked.

And finally he answered, but it came out more like a whisper...

"The building manager"

There was another long pause before he spoke again, the expression on his face never shifting from that of a broken soul, "How is she?"

"She’s good, Fox" Missy said calmly, collecting herself and staying as neutral as possible.

"Where is she?" he asked.

Missy sighed before replying, she knew where this conversation was going and had to keep her feelings about the situation on check.

"Fox, it is not my place to say where she is... it’s hers. I only came back to terminate the lease. I'll be giving the papers to the landlord and then be leaving again"

"Why did she leave?" Mulder's voice was still coming out more like a whisper, because he was trying to stop himself from breaking down and crying in front of Melissa "Why did she leave!" he asked more forcefully.

Missy could see the pain hidden behind the cool facade.

"It’s really not my place to say and I would prefer you stopped asking me"

"But you know... don’t you? You know why she left, and why she didn't tell me?"

"Yes"

"Tell me! Just tell me why... I need to know" Mulder's demeanour changed in a flash, he was starting to get angry.

"I can’t. I'm sorry, Fox. It's really not my place, you know I would if I could" Missy looked at him, the sound of remorse in her voice. She so desperately wanted to tell him everything, because she thought he had a right to know. She was cursing herself for ever agreeing to help in this ridiculous charade now. Dana had said it would be a one in a million chance that she would run into Mulder and now look where she was.

Mulder slowly walked towards her, his body language radiating waves of anger like nothing she had ever seen before. And it was starting to scare her but damn him if she was going to let him know that. Missy stood up straighter, and steeled herself against what was coming next.

"But you can... where is she? I need to find her! Tell me... I NEED TO KNOW WHAT I DID!" Mulder shouted, in Missy's face but she would not be intimidated into giving up her sister, not by him.

"NO!"

"Dammit, Melissa, just tell me!"

"No, Mulder! I will not tell you... and I suggest you pack your things and leave, right now. Do you understand me? Dana doesn't live here anymore and you have no right to be here either"

Mulder noted that she had not called him Fox before he began shouting again

"If you want me to leave, then tell me what I want to know! You’re meant to be my friend Melissa. Now tell me where she is!"

"I am your friend, Mulder. So, please don’t make me choose between our friendship and my sister, because Dana will win every time!"

"You have made your choice then, but I will find her... without your help" Mulder grabbed his stuff and stormed out of Scully's apartment (knowing that he could no longer stay there), slamming the door behind him the sound echoing in Missy ears.

"Fuck you!" Missy said, cleaning up after him.

Dammit! Why did he have to be here, and why did she agree to this?

******************************************************************

So, as Missy explained it to me... she wasn't very happy with me. I wasn't expecting him to be sleeping in my apartment. I thought…

Dammit, I thought he would just get over it and move on with his life... after all the X-Files were his life but I should have known better. Why did he have to want and need me the way I wanted and needed him? Why was he making it so fucking hard on the both of us? I will never forget Fox William Mulder. After all, he will always be the love of my life and the father of my children. No one will ever compare to Fox 'Freaking' Mulder.

Yours Sincerely Dana

*******************************************************

It had been seven whole weeks since Mulder had last seen Scully, which to him felt like years, maybe even a decade and he was missing her so much. He was sitting in his dark empty apartment with empty bottles of whiskey scattered around him and a half full one on his coffee table just screaming his name, there were also empty food cartons strewn around the place, and on every flat surface.

The very few pictures he had of Scully were clutched close to his chest, his head hurt like hell but his heart and soul were numb. Mulder had received a phone call from Skinner saying that Scully had just emailed in her resignation and that he had, with no other choice, accepted it.

Ever since he had seen Missy... everything had become so real. Scully had indeed left him for good and she certainly didn’t want to be found, not be him or anyone else it seems. Melissa knew both why she moved and to where but refused to tell him, and he knew, now of course, that he shouldn't have gotten so angry at her but he missed, fuck that... still misses Scully so much. He had stopped going around to Maggie's because she probably also knew by now where Scully was and would not help him either, and he didn’t want her pity nor her sorrow.

He felt truly and utterly alone. It was the life he chose after all.

***************************************************************

Melissa and Scully were taking a leisurely stroll through Corona Heights Park, to look at the view of San Francisco spread out before them. It was somewhat warm for a mid October afternoon but not overly hot and there was nice, gentle cool breeze blowing through Scully's long grey maternity dress occasionally, causing her shoulder-length red hair to billow out in all directions around her pale freckled and slightly pink face (redden from the effort of carrying two growing babies in her enormous belly and then unseasonable warmth) and the trees were swaying, it was a calm and serene vista.

Missy had wanted to get out for a few hours, and after finding the park a couple of weeks ago, asked Scully along too. Who immediately agreed that it was a good idea, as the apartment was becoming suffocatingly small to her ever-expanding size.

She was now thirty-six weeks pregnant and radiating beauty even if she didn't feel like it. Which she didn't, in fact she felt like a whale... a whale with giant ankles and mood swings that made her unrecognisable even to herself. She had finally told Maggie, her mother, where she was and why she had left and explained it had nothing to do with Mulder and that it wasn't his fault in any way, shape or form. That it was entirely her decision, and it was made after much thought and heartbreak. Maggie wasn't exactly happy about the situation but agreed to her youngest daughters terms, not to tell Mulder and she also agreed to be Scully's second birthing partner.

Maggie had arrived yesterday and was staying with her daughters at their apartment not too far from Corona Heights Park. Rachel, her Doctor, had flown out from DC too, so she could deliver the twins when they decided to make their big entrance into the world.

Scully was taking it slow, as the weight had her waddling along like a duck these days, but she soon got tired. Suddenly she stopped dead in her tracks, feeling a sharp sensation flood across her lower belly, telling herself it was nothing, that it was probably just Braxton hicks. Scully continued walking further along the path at the top of the hill. She had been getting minor pains all day, so it didn't seem unusual.

Ten minutes later, she was sitting on a park bench when she shouted for her sister, Missy.

"Melissa!"

Scully was fighting back the tears, the pain had gotten stronger and more acute as time passed. Missy was off in her own little world, communing with nature or whatever (Scully didn't care right now) and wasn’t paying attention forcing Scully to shout again to get her attention.

"Melissa Ann Scully! Get over here right... NOW!"

Missy stopped abruptly at hearing her full name and turned on her heel to look at where the noise had come from, only to see her younger sister pale as a sheet and pain evidently wrote on her face, so she ran full pelt to see what was going on.

"Dana!? Dana what’s happened? Is everything OK?"

"Yeah, I think the babies are coming. Missy, I need you to drive me to the hospital and can you please ring both Mom and Rachel, to meet us there"

"Ok… umm. I should ring them first, right? Dana?" Missy said, suddenly overwhelmed with the situation "Or should we go straight to the hospital, Dana?"

She was getting very flustered and concerned about her ability to help her younger sister through such a massive, life-altering event.

"Calm down, Miss. I don't think the babies are coming any time soon because the contractions are still too far apart. Breathe"

"I WAS breathing, and then you decided to give birth in the park"

"I'm not giving birth in the park. You're driving me to the hospital, remember?"

"The hospital. Yeah, okay! Let's go!" Missy mumbled, quickly pulling herself together and helping Scully up from the park bench and back down to the car, as best she could given the fact her sister was racked with waves of intense pain every now and then.

Missy had just turned the car on Market Street when she heard Scully wince in pain, the contractions were still ruffly ten to fifteen minutes apart, but clearly the pain was getting worse. If the gasps, cuss words and white knuckles from her sister were any indications. She had managed to get hold of their Mother and Dr Richards, they were both on their way to the hospital to meet them there. Thankfully, they had packed Scully's overnight bag for the hospital and it was already in the car (and had been for a while).

"Missy! Please... God, say we are nearly there!" Scully pleaded with her older sister, tears forming and almost spilling from the corners of her eyes.

"We are, but we're also stuck in traffic. I'm sorry. Maybe I should've taken a different route?"

"Damn! Ahh, fuck. Just... keep... driving!"

"Dana, breathe. I promise we are going to be there soon... if this traffic jam would just break and let us through" Missy's hands was gripping the steering wheel tightly, she was worried she might break it. She felt helpless and scared but she was trying to remain strong for her sister.

"Missy, please! I don’t think I can do this... not without him here! God, just make it stop. I don't want to do it anymore. I can't... what am I going to tell them when they're older? How can I ever make it up to them? Or him"

"God, Dana. I wish you would have let me tell him... so he could be here with you. He deserves to be here. And I wish I could make it stop and take the pain away... but I can’t"

Now tears were brimming on the edges of Melissa's eyes.

Miraculously, the traffic started moving again, slowly, but at least it was moving. They were halfway to the hospital at this point (Missy knew this because they had done a dry run a few weeks ago), but still that wasn’t enough to settle both of their nerves or stop her from wishing that she could take the pain away for her sister, emotional and physical at this moment.

Another contraction had come and gone, and Scully really didn't want to do this without Mulder but there was nothing that could be done now. A decision had been made, and as much as she wanted to change it, it was too late. How could she have been so stupid? How could she leave him? How could she take the opportunity to see his children being born away from him? She had been scared... and selfish, and was regretting it now. Scully's contractions were slightly closer together now, only a short eight minutes apart. She could feel tight and sharp pull of her uterus preparing itself and knew it was only going to get worse and that it would probably take hours and she already feeling so tired. Looking at her sister, she tried to distract herself watching as Missy yelled and cursed the traffic delay which made her giggle despite the pain.

They had just turned off of the extremely busy freeway and were now on the home stretch to the hospital.

Scully, Melissa, Maggie and Dr Richards (Rachel) had all arrived at the maternity unit of Zuckerberg General Hospital within a matter of minutes of each other.

Scully's private birthing suite was an absolutely gorgeous room, open and spacious with a faux dark wood linoleum floor accented with dark oak panelling on the walls with small lights built in and a comfy hospital bed placed in front of it.

There were also two single cushioned and very comfortable reclining armchairs, for visitors or in the case, Melissa and Maggie, situated in between them was a two-seater pull out sofa, all backed up against floor to ceiling windows with a breathtaking view of San Francisco. Off of the main room there was an en suite bathroom tiled with a mixture of colours (light grey, navy blue and chocolate brown) with handrails at every convenient spot, there was also a generously sized and deep bathtub.

Scully was laying on the hospital bed pillows squished behind her back, as Dr Richards began her first internal exam quickly realising that her friend and patient was barely only five centimetres dilated.

Scully wasn't happy about the slow progress but also knew that there wasn't much she could do. It was truly down to the primal urges of her body now to complete this task. She was in it for the long haul. And all she could think about was Mulder not being here, to be with her and the babies.

After the exam had been completed, Dr Richards asked Scully what pain relief she would prefer, slightly chuckling at the quick response of - Nitrous Oxide.

Rachel explained that she really wanted her to have an epidural in the rare case there was a need for emergency medical intervention. The trained medical doctor side of Scully's brain was inclined to agree but her personal side, her maternal instinct and heart overruled that, plus she wanted to be able to move about and not be confined to a bed. Dana Katherine Scully was a strong independent woman who could do this, even though she would think differently every time a contraction hit. She would stick to her plan, natural or not at all. Well, not at all... but she'd survive the pain if it came to that. Dr Richards smiled, at her friend and then left the room. Giving the family their last few hours of privacy before everything about their lives changed.

Scully had started pacing around the hospital room trying to walk off the contractions even though they were painful she really wanted to push through it and progress her labour but her mind kept wandering back to Mulder, memories of their time together and what he was now missing, because of her decisions. She couldn't think about him now, it was too much, so she shook the thoughts off and continued trying to get through this moment in time. Scully knew that she was just overly emotional with what was going on. She was so deep in thought she had not noticed that they had bought in two resuscitators and an extra cot. Missy asked what the resuscitators were for and she explained there were there in case the baby wasn't breathing, Scully sighed at Missy look of horror but a contraction came thick and heavy.

12 hours later.

Scully's waters had finally broken (thankfully, on their own) and she was now eight centimetres dilated, which meant that labour would progress quickly now.

The contractions were coming thick and fast, the pain was slowly escalating and nothing that she had ever experienced in her life up to this point compared to it. Her stomach was tight and hard, her back was sore and throbbing and the gas that she was taking before each contraction was having little effect. They had asked her if she wanted anything different to ease the pain but she refused. Scully was determined to do this but soon became enveloped by fear, and starting to feel like she was in far too deep.

1 hour later.

Scully was feeling the intense need to push, it was a weird feeling - painful and throbbing, kinda like she need the toilet but the feeling would not go away.

Two midwives had now entered the room as well as Dr Richards. They were also ready for her to start pushing.

Scully was terrified and anxious but it had all come down to this. She was alone and there was no going back now. She had to bring these perfect little humans into the world, protect them the best she could and love them, always.

"Dana, listen to me. I'm going to need you to start pushing with the next contraction, OK?" Rachel said in a clear and calm Doctor Voice.

Scully only nodded in response, gripping Melissa's hand with enormous strength. Her legs were in stirrups and then another contraction hit.

"I need you to push for 10 seconds, then stop and breathe"

Scully held her chin to her chest, scrunching her face up and pushing... and pushing into her bottom. The older of the two midwives counted to ten, the burning, searing pain was sharp and never-ending that was coursing through the lower part of her body.

"Stop pushing! Dana, you can breathe now"

Twenty minutes had gone by, nothing was happening and everyone was getting worried but no one was admitting it. Scully turned to her sister her panic rising and written on her face. Were the babies OK? Was she already failing as a mother? Why weren't they telling her what was wrong?

"Missy, I can’t do this... not without him... please" Scully demanded, face bright red from all of the pushing she was doing, sweat forming on her brow and her eyes were red and puffy from the tears streaming down her face. She was looking at her older sister, Missy, in the eyes pleading with her... begging even, because she was no longer above begging.

"Where is Mulder? I want him... NOW!" she turned to Maggie "Please Mom, I shouldn't of run away... I need him…" Scully stopped talking abruptly as a searing, burning pain (like she was on fire between her legs) started again, another contraction hitting and she pushed down with all the force she had.

"Dana, you’re crowning and on your next contraction I'm going to need you to push again. And after that... if you want to, you can feel down there... Go ahead"

Scully slipped her hand down between her legs, trying to reach around her belly for the baby and touch it's soft, sweet head. She smiled briefly, as her fingertips brushed across her quite a lot of fluffy hair.

"Can you feel baby number ones head?" Rachel asked.

"Yeah... I can... wow!" Scully breathed out. Scully didn’t care if it was covered in amniotic fluid, blood or any other mysterious liquid that was currently. She was just happy that one of her babies was finally, nearly in the world and tears of joys suddenly filled her eyes.

"Oh my god, Mom... they have hair" she said, somewhat shocked.

"Yes, sweetheart" Maggie said, proudly.

"Alright, Dana. We're going to need you to push again..." Dr Richards asked, and all Scully could do was whimper through her tears in response "I know, I know... but you're nearly there. Ready?"

Scully nodded, and squeezed Missy's hand (probably breaking it in the process) as she pushed and felt a sudden gush as the baby slipped out of her body, and the burning and the stinging stopped... momentarily and the quite room was suddenly filled with the sounds of a newborn crying and taking its first breath. Everybody let out a sigh of relief, one down... one to go.

"And we have a boy! Congratulations, Dana. Missy, are you cutting your nephews cord? " Rachel questioned. She wasn't sure who was cutting which cord, but she knew Missy and Maggie would be cutting one each, to be a part of the event. Missy's darted towards her little sister, unsure but Scully just gave her a simple nod.

She rose from the chair beside Scully, and walked closer to the hospital bed and Dr Richards and took the scissors, cutting the umbilical cord and watched as the little baby boy was placed on Scully's bare chest, his intense cries quickly turned into small whimpers and then stopped altogether.

As soon as the little boy was placed on her skin, happiness and joy overwhelmed Scully and she couldn't help but stare down at her son; his head full of red hair, eyes the that brand new dark blue and his pouty bottom lip trying to find her nipple, his skin a soft pink and touching hers, it felt exquisite, his delicate angelic little hand clutched in a little fist this was a picture of pure beauty, and the love she felt for this little human wiggling and squirming against her was undeniable. She marvelled at the life she had created with Mulder.

"We are going to need you to start pushing again, this little lady will be on her way very quickly now... and while you're helping us help you, we will wipe down, and weigh your son for you"

Scully simply nodded, still in awe of her son’s beauty.

The younger looking midwife took her son off of her chest just in time, because another contraction hit. Scully's legs were still in the air, but this contraction was more painful then the last few... it was intense and made her feel like she was about to die.

They were fierce and wrenching as her darling little girl started crowning, Scully tried to push more but she was just so tired and exhausted but she knew it was now or never and so she pushed again and in one fluid motion sharp and sudden her daughter was out.

"She's strong that little girl of yours. Congratulations, again, Dana. Maggie, I believe it's your turn to cut the cord now"

"Yes" Maggie smiled, and walked over to Rachel and cut the cord.

After a very tense moment, the room filled with the cries of her second child and everyone breathed again. Rachel quickly passed the squirming newborn to a nervous Scully and watched as tiny baby pawed at her mother's chest and suddenly stopped crying and instead started hiccuping which made everyone giggle and laugh, causing the little girl to look up directly into Scully’s eyes and blink rapidly.

Scully broke down in front of everyone, holding her daughter to her breast, whispering and wishing for Mulder to be here, so he could see this beautiful, perfect human they had both created.

"I'm sorry. I'm just a little sad that their father couldn't be here"

"It's OK. We just need to get her cleaned up now, weigh her and you've thankfully already delivered the placenta without any problems..." Rachel took the baby girl from Scully, who promptly started crying again and nodded over to Maggie and Missy crowded around her baby son "your mother is holding your son, you can have him back whenever you want"

Scully nodded, as the fatigue suddenly took over and her eyelids began to get heavy, looking at her Mom and then at Missy, she whispered "thank you" before closing her eyes.

"Oh my god, Dana, you're amazing! We'll all be here when you wake up, get some rest. I love you, so much" Missy said, praising her little sister and kissed her forehead.

Missy had gone down to the hospital cafeteria to get herself and her mother coffee and healthy banana bread for a snack. Maggie was staring, absolutely mesmerised by them, at her brand new grandchildren. They were cardboard name placeholders tapped to the single crib the twins shared together... the small blue card read - Baby Boy Scully. Born 19th October 1993. At 13.20pm and the matching pink card was practically identical save for the gender and time of birth - Baby Girl Scully. Born 19th October 1993. At 13.25pm.

#whats left unsaid #MulderandScully #msr fanfic #Msr Au #the x files #The X-Files #x files #the x files fanfic #WLUSIA

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