#but i just. idk. it explains everything about what i've been through and what im still going through | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

angel-eyes05 · 1 year

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a spider in the snow

pairing: fem!reader x miguel o’hara

summary: you help rehabilitate an injured miguel after he returns from one of his late night patrols…in more ways than one

warnings: nsfw, fluff then smut then fluff, handjob (both m and f recieving), blood mention, an incy wincy tincy bit of angst

word count: 2.5k

notes: heyyyyy i've come back from the dead. i don't really write a lot of one shots so go easy on me for this one. just like every horny person on the internet, i’ve fallen head over heels in love with miguel o’hara. this is me giving into my impulses lmao. sorry if i do anything thats out of character idk him that well so just work with me here. i also don't know everything about nueva york and if names are different than here or something so im just gonna pretend they’re the same. if they are, great! if not, just go with it lmao. one more thing, despite being cuban i am a no sabo kid (rip me) so i had to use a translator for some of this so apologies in advance if some things aren't super accurate. ok lets get on with the show.

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Snowy nights in Nueva York have always been one of your favorite parts about moving up north. Seeing all the lit up buildings illuminated in the snow, all the people ice skating in Rockefeller Center rink just below your apartment window, the reminders of Christmas coming soon. It kept your heart warm against the freezing temperatures outside. You also loved the feeling of being able to bundle yourself up in blankets and hoodies, a mix of yours and your boyfriend’s, having an excuse to make hot chocolate, and finally being able to use the fireplace that normally laid dormant in the middle of your living room. The one con about the snow was when it would land on Miguel’s patrol nights. Your already nervous mind was only heightened by the added uncertainty of everything that could happen while he was out there. What if he got too cold while out there and it affected his ability to fight? What if it started snowing too hard and he wouldn’t be able to find his way back to the apartment? You knew some of your concerns were probably dumb, but they felt serious to you.

This was one of those nights. One of the nights where you would sit on your couch, next to the cracked window, unable to sleep until you could see him come back safe. You flipped through the channels of the tv aimlessly, trying to find something to keep your mind off of the growing cold outside. You eventually turn it off after coming across the weather channel, claiming a snowstorm would be rolling into the city in about 15 minutes. Deciding there was nothing you could do about your situation, you walked over to your bedroom and wrapped yourself in your massive duvet to shield from the cold. Worries dashed around your mind about everything that could happen. Despite being verbally supportive about Miguel and his…hobbies, you really hated the idea of him sneaking out in basically pajamas almost every night to “beat up the bad guys” essentially. Even though he had explained everything to you by this point, having been dating for about three years now, you still couldn’t quite understand everything. Radioactive spiders? Corrupt businesses? Fangs and claws? Mutations? A multiverse? It was a lot to wrap your head around. But, despite all of this, all of your worries and concerns over Miguel, you stayed. Because you knew you didn’t start dating him because of his whole superhero business or whatever. You were dating him because you loved him. The real him. The way he would always press gentle kisses into the crook of your neck. How on his days off, you would be woken up to the smell of eggs and bacon cooking in the kitchen just for you. How he would always whisper sweet praises to you while you would give him head. How easily he could be crumbled down beneath his rock hard exterior. The Miguel underneath the red and blue spandex. You dreamt of this as you slowly fell into a calm slumber. You fell asleep bundled up in all the blankets on your bed, arm outstretched to the opposite side the bed, almost as if you were reaching for something that wasn’t there.

After some time had passed, you’re not sure exactly how much, you were awoken by a thud coming from your bathroom. You lazily rubbed your eyes and grabbed your alarm clock to check the time. 3:47 am. Yeah, that’s definitely Miguel in there. You dragged yourself out of bed to help him out, throwing one of this hoodies over your tank top for extra warmth. You also liked how it still smelled like him after three times in the wash. You opened the door, eyes squinting from the bright fluorescent light. And there he was. You found it endearing. How Miguel was trying, and failing, to reach this massive scratch on his back to clean it instead of just waking you up to ask for your help. You look to the floor to find a bottle of hydrogen peroxide sitting there on the rug, probably what caused the thudding sound. You stood there leaning in the doorframe, waiting for him to notice you, even though he probably already heard every step you’ve taken from the bed up to the door now. “You need any help there?” you ask him, jokingly. You had seen him in much worse conditions, so you took moments like these to be more comedic, an attempt to lighten his mood sort of. It didn’t usually work. “No, I got it. Please go back to sleep,” he said, still attempting to wrap his arms around himself. You rolled your eyes and walked over to sit behind him, picking up the hydrogen peroxide off the floor and grabbing a couple of cotton balls from the first aid basket. “Mi amor, please go back to sleep, I promise I can do this by myself,” he argued. Before he could get another word in, you poured some of the hydrogen peroxide over his wound. He groaned in response and squeezed your thigh to help level out the pain. “That’s for worrying me all night,” you said to him, just over the volume of a whisper. As you began to dab the blood off of his cut, he responded. “You know I don’t want you to worry.” Once you could see he was turning his head around to look at you, you turned your eyes away. You didn’t really want to look at him right now. It’s not that you were mad at him. Ok that’s a lie, you were a little mad. But it was more of a helplessness you felt when you would see him like this. Beat up, cut, scratched, bruised. And there wasn’t anything you could do to help. Not until after at least. And it wasn’t like you were a trained nurse or anything. You dreaded the day that he would come stumbling through the window, too injured for you to take care of yourself. Or worse. The day he wouldn’t come home at all. “Yeah, well that doesn’t mean I don’t,” you said sort of coldly. You stood up from your position, waiting to patch up his back until after he showered. You changed your positions to sit from behind him to in front, ready to take care of his front side now. “I don’t want to talk about that right now tho-.” You cut yourself off when you finally saw his face

Cuts were scattered across his face, one above his eyebrow still dripping blood catching your attention first. He also had a bruise quickly forming on his left cheekbone. Once you moved your eyes more, you saw his nose marked with a deep cut going through the middle. His beautiful nose. It was one of your favorite parts of his appearance. Done scanning his face, your eyes moved down to his chest and his torso. His chest was marked with similar cuts to the one on his back. You kept your eyes on his chest in an attempt to hide the fact you were holding back tears right now. “I’m sorry mi cariño. I really am.” You knew he was. But sorry wasn’t going to keep him safe. This was one apology among many. It didn’t really matter. He wasn’t sorry for getting hurt again and again and again. He was sorry for the fact you had to see him like this. If you wouldn’t have seen that he was injured, he wouldn’t have said anything And you knew after this apology as well, he would go out tomorrow night and do the same thing over again. You didn’t respond to his words. All you could manage to do was pull him into an embrace and apologize when he winced from your hands hitting his cuts. You sat there for a bit, running your hands through his hair and trying to hold yourself back from crying. He nuzzled his head into the crook of your neck and planted gentle kisses there, each a little apology from him. Once you finally pulled away and wiped your face, you started to clean the scrapes on his face, this time more gentle than his back. You dabbed the cotton ball on his forehead as he held you straddled on his lap. He admired your features as you concentrated on him, rubbing your back with his fingers in the process. You didn’t say much, only a simple “sorry” if you were a little too rough with cleaning. Despite the stern face you were putting on, Miguel knew you secretly liked the way he would grab at your thighs and hips with his claws when you did something that hurt.

Once you were finished, you silently put the first aid equipment away and left the bathroom so he could take a shower. He planted a soft kiss into your forehead before you left the room. Once you crawled back into bed, you sighed to yourself. How did you end up here anyways? There’s no way you were expecting all of this when you first saw Miguel at the concert bar that day. Some days were amazing with him. Others were much harder. And while you’ve definitely had worse days with him, today was leaning on the latter option. You contemplated all of this until you heard the door to the bathroom behind you open, Miguel stepping out of the steaming room with his towel wrapped around his lower body. You were very quickly reminded of one of the reasons you’ve stayed with him for so long. The way his wet curls were laying around his head. How his chest glistened while it was damp, despite currently being tattered with cuts at the current moment. He sleepily shuffled over to the bed, dropping his towel before crawling up close to you in bed. The warmth of Miguel’s freshly showered body against yours helped to melt the majority of your worries away. It also helped that you could feel his his cock getting harder against your leg while he cuddled against you. You finally turned around to face him, cupping his jaw in your hand and rubbing your thumb across his face. He grasped your hand and pressed soft kisses into it. “I love you so much Miggy,” you finally said, breaking the silence and drawing his eyes towards you. “I really do, and I’m sorry if I ever make it seem like I don’t. You just…you scare me sometimes.” You quickly realize those weren’t the words you meant. You begin to stutter and take back your words a bit, until you see that Miguel has given you his full attention. You take a deep breath and continue. “You don’t scare me. It’s more of what you do that scares me. I never know when you’re gonna come back or if you even are. If you think I take joy in taking care of you after you come back, I really don’t. I hate seeing my boy like this. And it makes me scared that one day you’re gonna come back in a shape I can’t fix. It scares me so bad Miggy you don’t even know,” you say, choking back your tears. Once Miguel notices you’re about to start crying, he wraps his arms around you immediately. “Shhh it’s ok preciosa,” he comforts as you quietly cry into his broad shoulders. “I’m so sorry for making you worry,” he says in between kissing the top of your head. “I promise I’ll make it up to you, and I love you too.”

You pull away from his hug and stare into his beautiful crimson eyes as he wipes away your tears. You suddenly fall into the overwhelming urge to kiss him. He returns the kiss with even more passion than you put into it. You quickly found yourself exploring his body with your hands, moans escaping his lips whenever you would graze over one of his wounds. You drew yourself closer to him to absorb more of his body heat, though you were quickly reminded of his bare cock as you could feel it hardening on your leg. Your hands eventually made it down there, teasing Miguel along the way as you felt him up on the way down. You then took his hard, already wet cock into your hands, caressing every ridge you could find on it. You could hear more moans exit his mouth and slide into yours as you handled him like putty. He would let out messier sounds, even a growl at one point, and jerk forward into your hand when you would tease around his tip. “F-fuck baby. Y-you’re s-so good to me. ‘N pr-retty too,” he would blurb out Feeling his cock get increasingly hard in your hand began to make you slightly wet as well. This only increased as Miguel began to take off your underwear as well, sliding two of his fingers into your pussy and placing his thumb to draw circles onto your clit. Your grip on his length becomes lazy and sloppy as you’re stimulated as well. You’re surprised at how quickly Miguel is able to find your clit, but then again you expect him to know your body so well after three years. After both of you have been at it for a while, you’re the first one to get close to your orgasm. “Fuck M-Miggy, I-I’m gonna cum,” you manage to moan out. His kisses on you get sloppy as he reaches his as well. It’s over for you once he begins to put more pressure onto your core. You let out an inhuman noise as your stomach fills with the white heat of your orgasm, shaking your entire body. Miguel takes his fingers out of your entrance and licks your cum off of his fingers. It’s then over for him when you eventually put the pressure of your fingers onto his cock. You hand is then covered in his cum once he reaches his climax in your fist, moaning intensely into the air. While he’s in the middle of his orgasm, his claws pop out of his fingers and into your hips and underneath your thigh where his hands are placed. Then, he lets out his fangs and uses them to leave hickeys into your neck, making sure not to let out any of his poison while doing so. “Just stay here with me Miggy,” you sigh out, his fangs deep into your neck. “You don’t ever need to go back out there again. Just stay here with me forever.” He simply nods at first, still sucking into your neck. Once he lets go and and begins to calm down, he responds with “Forever and always mi corazón,” whispering the words into your ear as he lays more kisses along your collarbone and neck.

You stare outside the window at the falling snow, hoping this time he’ll keep his word, but knowing deep down that he wasn’t going to. But for now, you could just appreciate your time with him now. He was all yours right now. Everything. And that was enough.

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A/N: uhhhh sorry but i didn't feel like proofreading this cause its super late for me rn sorry not sorry lmao

#miguel o'hara x reader #miguel o'hara #across the spiderverse #spiderman 2099 #spiderman #x reader #smut #marvel smut #spiderman across the spiderverse #spiderverse

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yangbbokari · 6 months

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hiii, im back again!! I’m totally inlove with your part 2 of the bet !! I just thought of another angst (I know sorry 😭) but what about stray kids pushing reader away, avoiding them at all costs because of something (idk😭) and reader thought the wrong idea and started to overthink but reader ended up going on a walk but ran into a friend and started to talk to them, not noticing the time, the sun setting, And their phone blowing up with miss calls and messages from their lover. They totally forgot about everything. Then reader finally heads home after their friend telling them they have to go and once they walk in they see their worried/sobbing significant other.

- 🧈

sry that this took so long anon😭I've just been real lazy as always

Needed Space

Pairing: Han Jisung x gn!reader Genre: Angst, Fluff, Hurt/comfort Warnings: Yelling, crying, language, i think that's it Summary: You give Han the space he wanted so badly and he grows worried. A.N.: Hehe 🧈 anon…. I got lazy again as u can see but I’m finally done😭

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This was the week of the comeback so you knew it’d be busier and Han would be more stressed. But even so, you didn’t expect him to distance himself this far.

It got to the point where only a few words were exchanged and you only saw him about twice a week.

One day, Han decided to take a quick break. It wasn’t really a break since he was still working on different pieces of music, but at least he got to stay at home.

“Hey… Hannie? Have you had something to eat yet?” You timidly asked as you stepped into the room. “Hi, baby. I’ll eat in a bit. Just let me finish this real quick.” You softly sigh, walking up to him and made him look at you. “You already said that hours ago. You need some food in your system to finish your work.”

He shoved you away, nearly knocking you off you’re feet. “Look. I already told you I’ll eat later! I don’t have time to humor you so just leave me the fuck alone.” Your boyfriend didn’t even spare you another look before returning to his work.

You could only nod your head slowly. You slipped out of the room and grabbed your things. You knew he was just stressed but you couldn’t help the tears that pricked your eyes.

You thought about tell Han that you’d be out for a minute, but he did tell you to leave him alone. So you just left the house. ~~~ You didn’t even notice the amount of time that had passed until the sun began to set. Your phone had died a while back but you wanted to spend a bit more time by yourself.

Seeing the sun set, you knew it was time to finally return home. You hoped that Han would have cooled down down by the time you got back.

You didn’t really want to return to an angry Han so you trudged your way home. The pebbles and leaves seemed so much more interesting all of a sudden.

There was still a good distance between you and your home when you heard someone running towards you. Your terrified eyes quickly softened when a very disheveled Han stopped in front of you.

He wrapped his arms around you and cried into your shoulder. Pushing you away a bit roughly, checking your sides to make sure you weren’t injured.

“Wh-where were you? I got so scared.” He asked, still worried.

Your eyes held the softest comfort in you for him. “I was just at the corner cafe, baby.”

“We’re you going to leave me? I saw that all your most important assets were gone and I began to think that I finally scared you away for good.” He threaded his fingers through his hair rapidly before continuing to ramble to you. “I didn’t mean to yell at you, sweetheart. I was just so so stressed and frustrated. I know that’s no excuse to treat you the way I did. But I’m just trying to explain to you because… because… because I’m scared you’ll leave me and I just really want you to stay by my side.”

“Hannie…”

“Please don’t leave me…”

“Hannie…”

“I’ll do anything.”

“Hannieeee….”

“You mean everything to me and I really don’t want to lose you.”

“Hannie!!”

He slightly jumped as his eyes met yours. “Y-yes?”

“You’re rambling again. It’s fine. I know you were stressed and that’s why I gave you the space to calm down. You mean a lot to me and I wouldn’t risk losing you over a small argument.”

Han let out a breath of relief with a smile before hugging you. “Thank you for forgiving me. I’m so sorry. I can’t promise but I’ll try to be better for you.”

The two of you walked back home together. You were glad that he was by your side and so was he.

#skz fanfic #han jisung fanfic #han jisung angst #han jisung fluff #han jisung hurt/comfort #Eheheheheehehehehehehe #mumu writes

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bluedeedeedoop · 21 days

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My Thoughts on Tales of the Empire; mostly Barriss (spoilers ahead!)

Ah hello all, i have had some days or so to think since watching the show and to say it has completely wiped me of my life force would be... pretty accurate tbh. BUT I HAVE FINALLY DECIDED TO POST MY THOUGHTS. will this cover my entire though process that im sTill working through? PROBABLY NOT! my thoughts are very unorganized and very unstable! ANYWAAAAYS.

Now I just gotta say overall, the show itself definitely passed the test. To be completely honest, i wasn't really paying attention to the Morgan parts as i was the Barriss parts, since it was literally what I was looking forward to this entire time.

Though I will say that the first Morgan episode was pretty neat! it was crazy seeing that perspective of the Nightsisters again and god did they make Grievous fucking terrifying. Honestly, bravo to them, it was amazing. I diiiiid end up just.. kinda spacing out the rest of it tho unfortunately cuz i just wanted to see barriss..

Visuals 10000/10. stunning, amazing, phenomenal, gahdamn. the animation was so smooth and fluid and uGHH it was amazing throughout the entire show. Acting amazing as always. BUT GOD I CANT GET OVER HOW AMAZING THE ANIMATION WAS.

NOW.

In my opinion, they got her character pretty on the dot. I am SO glad they did. I was rlly rlly worried they were totally butcher her character and make her unrecognizable to all of us but oml they didn't completely disappoint us, she has her morals, SHES STILL A HEALER! Im so happy from that.

Now although i did enjoy it, i do have my own little complaints.

Now okay one i noticed since the trailer and has REALLY been bugging me; where are her hand tattoos??? idk i guess i just wasn't expecting them to just be gone?? they couldn't have just forgotten them.. right? I dunno, but unless someone has a genuine answer for that, imma just keep drawing them on her in the future.

??????

Alright another thing i've been seeing ppl post about is how come she looked so old at the end? I am also confused on that and i've seen multiple theories. She should only be like 30-35 max right?? Because i'm assuming the last episode took place a the time in Rebels where the inquisitors were after the force sensitive children, and Ahsoka was around that age a the time, so why is Barriss any different?

I suppose the one i think makes the most sense is the force healing? I guess it could take a toll on her over the years causing her to look more aged, but still, i'd really prefer an explanation. Also what happened to her hair coverings?? Is that not her culture?? I dunno, again, i really need an explanation. I suppose that maybe her perspective has changed since trying to come to terms with her new life, and her ditching the coverings is a way to free herself from her past? Honestly i have no clue but i just need a lot of things answered.

That's mostly my complaints on it! I just felt things weren't explained enough but to be fair, they only gave her like 3 15-ish min episodes?? I really think they got some explaining to do. Which brings me to my next points.

I'm like... 98% sure that the "old friend" is Ahsoka that she was talking about. Who else would it be?? Like cmon. And if it is Ahsoka, why did we not get to see anything about the moment of confrontation? or at least more of a mention? I guess they wouldn't rlly wanna rush that scene, and tbh, im glad they didn't. It's not some "we talk for 5 min and everything is fine" type of situation. it'll take time. time to rebuild that trust. time to discuss. YEAH. I've heard many people state how it would be more likely and realistic to see a novelization of that and i agree. I would want it to take time, showing the build of the relationship over time, going on further into the story as we watch their strong bond mend from the trauma it's faced. I'm not saying this as a crazed Barrissoka shipper, i mean it that I would genuinely want to see how that confrontation is handled, as do many others and not just as a ship!! It's been a decade! the fans wanna know!

And my last point.

I.believe.Barriss.is.alive.

The more i rewatch it, the more i believe it. the first time around i had my doubts, but something tells me they are NOT done with her character. At least before the stabbing scene anyway. There's too much stuff that's left unanswered for it to just end that way! I dunno man, but Lyn's "i'm going to get you out of here" sounded way too determined for a "im going to move your body out of here" type of thing yk? maybe she could sense she was still alive, just barely hanging in there? I don't think they are done with Barriss Offee, and I wont think so unless we see her corpse being fucking BURIED. Not to mention the UNGODLY amount of parallels of that scene along with them exiting the cave. I've already seen so many point it out. Post-Vader and Ahsoka fight on Malachor?? Back when we all thought Ahsoka may or may not be dead?? sounds familiar hello?? Also a parallel from earlier in the show itself when Barriss saves that unnamed jedi! she HEALS them when they were going to be left there. Something tells me the same fate may happen to Barriss. Idk call me crazy but i will say it again, i don't think they are done with her story.

Thank you for reading my very unorganized thoughts! this has taken me longer to write than expected because i did not predict this to make me have to step away from making SEVERAL times- but yeah! lmk what yall think! and yes you can be expecting some art here and there! i know i've been slacking- Also lmk if u want me to post my crazed Barrissoka thoughts! because aHa i have them. i have them a lot. send help.

ALSO KEVIN KINER I GOT MY EYE ON YOU. BRO NEEDS TO RELEASE THE SOUNDTRACK BEFORE I DIE.

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rin-and-jade · 1 month

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Okay, so we've tried several times to write an ask, and each time we just..stop ?? So this time instead of explaining in detail n shit and saying how much we're sorry if this isn't appropriate to ask, I'm just gonna write :/

So, we're kind of stuck, in the sense that idk if I'm/we're(both pronouns feel wrong lol) a system anymore and,wdk what to do about it.

Because basically 5-6 years ago, when we were around 10(i think, but at this point i only know the story through the "telephone" of our retellings) our brain tried to just.. get rid of most of the DID. I'm not even ducking kidding, i think it tried to lower barriers and smush most of us together, to the best of it's ability. From what I've gathered, it planned on shoving all our trauma deep down in the innerworlds, and hiding them from the main kid. Like, getting rid of thousands of fragments, banking them in little crevices of our brain etc.

That procedure was supposed to make it so the main kid could have more of their life for them- without access or even knowledge of the sheer size of the abyss and pain in background, and thus being less affected by it till they were old enough to deal with it. Idk how to explain really, especially since i myself barely understand.

In any case, it went wrong. I don't know why much, as our memory has increasingly deteriorated since to the point i have nearly no knowledge left. I'm not sure even all that ever happened, because maybe I'm just inventing stuff and creating a story were there is none, and I'm scared that what i know isn't real and just my imagination or smth

And what's left is..me i guess. I kinda feel like a fragment in the sense that i have limited consciousness and just..person-space(if that makes sense ?) I'm not sure if I'm several people, one person, an eldritch entity of kinda seperate kinda not glued together entities.

Idek what i want to be. I want to be a full person, that's for sure, but other than that ? Idk. I'm lost, I'm a mix of tons of different opinions and vague, weak, feelings, and flashes of blurry memories and desires that don't belong to me.

So.. i know you probably can't help, but do you have.. any idea on what I could do ? Or if others have been in similar situations and if it got better ?

This is a very long ask x knows, and it's desperate, and you aren't our/my psychs so I shouldn't just dump this and hope you have answers, and I'm so sorry if this isn't appropriate to ask, but yeah.

I'm sorry.

Dissociative disorders do the job, but not perfectly, what you're explaining from the words of "nearly no knowledge left" sounds like retrograde amnesia, where it is near to impossible to remember anything from the past.

I also get a bit on what you mean with not knowing who you are,, that is usually close to a blurry moment? Because everything feels jumbled, its not clear, it is hard to discern wether there's multiple or not, etc. That could sound like it;

Have you been exposed to stress? Especially long term? Has anything awful been happening? Many factors can affect memory and recognizing who you are that can stem from basic needs that are neglected like sleep or rest if you're working for long periods, or deficiencies on vitamins/minerals/nutrition because they also play a part on fending off brain fog which can cause many issues like memory recall or trouble focusing,, or it can be to even deeper issues like stress as i said before, or if it is related to trauma, or any sustained physical injuries but it could be anything really.

Im guessing this is something that didn't happen in such a short time, but i do can give you some stuffs to do for starters:

Write down everything you can notice those feelings, those lingering sense of identity, or vibes, or thoughts, they are truly jumbled and it helps you organize and recognize your situation better if you have a physical record of what you're experiencing

Find the cause of problem If you can, try digging up anything you can find that could be the culprit, maybe before things get too foggy to remember that could serve as clues, and by checking with your current health (physically and mentally and emotionally) and see what could be fixed.

For sense of fulfillment It is overwhelming to know which or where you have to start from if you want to learn more of yourself, while you can do number 1 to jot down things you don't align with, this also gives you some ideas on what could be yours. Start somewhere small, like, how you like your daily morning, or preference in eating food, or the colors you think it looks cool.

It would also be great if you can leave out the tiniest bit of context next time, so my answers for now are rather vague and less pinpointed/specific. Though atleast still can suffice as a starting point to tackle your issues.

You can contact me anytime via ask box or DMs, let's see how things go for you okay?

- j

#did #actually did #did community #did osdd #did system #dissociative identity disorder #janswersask

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quietbluejay · 1 month

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Godblight 1

What in the anime lightning crackling between eyes

OWO perhaps….Eldar spotted???

guilliman: when other people use "the ends justify the means and doing bad things to get good results is based, actually" as an excuse, it's cringe guilliman: when i do it, it's fine

ELDAR SPOTTED!!!!

I mean it was a more tolerant age the same way dying from salmonella poisoning is better than dying from lingchi

well idk maybe Ultramar back in the day was less xenophobic than the empire was in general oh lovely it's a tzeentchian daemon …man i love it when an author goes "hey, actually, consequentialism sucks"

time for us to meet a normal human living on a Nurglite planet ….the main thing that being in the Imperium has over being in Nurgle's dominion is the possibility, however slim it might be, that things will get better for you and in general reading this makes it abundantly clear why Nurgle would be so popular on a hive world if your suffering is guaranteed, then at least you can have guaranteed happiness with it of course "get well soon" is a nurglite curse

oh its time for mortarion to commune through the fungus with typhus this whole conversation is just:

back to nurgle demon shenanigans with ku'gath

he's so delightful for once everyone else is sad but he's not enjoying it also it's time for baby fights two with rotigus and ku'gath this is reminding me of interactions i had with my sister when we were both like 10 or under

amazing incredible 10/10

(on the topic of blorbos where is Voiiiii I want Voi point of view why are the sisters of silence being slept on) psyker dude: it is physically painful being in the same room as guilliman because of his stress and depression

see, the thing about a cult of reason is that you're turning reason into a cult

Donas: Humans don't need gods because all gods are evil and from the warp Natase: #notallgods okay this is interesting and is covering something i've been curious about which is how godhood and faith work and i was right haha! so, some gods are created from faith, some are completely faith-independent, some don't need faith but get power from it nonetheless

from what i saw in the other books it seems like the faith and the emperor's power were originally separate, which is weird well kind of like the power that came from people's faith in the emperor, was independent of the emperor himself and my theory was that it's got to do with humanity being a psychic species and the warp is "your mind makes it real" and then since the faith had a specific focus (the emperor) it became attached to him and became a self-sustaining cycle

someone pick up the phone because I called it

it's entirely possible to become a god against your own will and then get shaped by what people believe you to be natase: the incident with the girl driving back demons might have been actually you all along

guilliman: it's not enough i have to deal with everything else, but this too guilliman: nope. i reject this. guilliman: okay. okay. guilliman: ok so if the Emperor really is a god now, what does this mean for our strategy? pffff typical guilliman also i am proud of him here he's actually using reason! rather than blindly turning "reason" into a dogma and avoiding uncomfortable truths.

and now back to ku'gath once again loving some of the imagery "the hospital walls slumped like corpses" actually thinking on the subject, could Shiki kill a chaos god

tattleslug: look everyone knows you hate everyone tattleslug: it's not a secret at all

actually wait we're back to guilliman again and im cackling he's Done

custodes dude: this is a bad idea guilliman: k guilliman: i will walk you through my reasoning one more time custodes dude: you already- guilliman: since you're making me put up with you constantly bugging me, you will have to put up with hearing me repeatedly explain things guilliman: also my final reason is if i don't get to do violence to something i am going to snap

#warhammer 40k #bluejay reads warhammer

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texasbama · 2 months

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Hiya I know you're a safe space and I need to get this out, so sorry in advance 🙃.

I see how amazing canon bi buck is for the queer community and I don't mind how it happened in canon. But while I should be happy, I actually kind of feel like I'm mourning? I'm so attached to eddie, maybe unhealthily so, and the ensemble found family dynamic is what first brought me to the show. For a while it's been a struggle having the fandom basically shove buck into every spec or storyline and act like he is a perfect angel and the centre of the universe. But there was always the eddiezers and it was more balanced. But now literally EVERYBODY is all about buck and tommy. It feels like the rest of the show doesn't even exist. I know its only been a couple of days but going on social media now just makes me anxious and idk why really. I'm worried about future eddie storylines, I'm desperate for marisol to disappear, but the vibe is that now buck is bi nothing else matters, we've won apparently, who even cares about eddie or the other characters because buck kissed a man.

Also I'm sex-repulsed ace and people saying how if you don't like it you're a purist and an evangelical and homophobic and biphobic actually makes me feel like shit. I never really understood wanting two characters to have sex 'because why not', because I don't understand why anyone wants to ever lol. I can only read buddie smut in very specific scenarios and most of the time i skip even that. And the rhetoric in a lot of tumblr space recently makes me feel like a bad person for not being all for it 100%. I don't think I've explained myself well here but I tried. You don't have to reply or post this either, I just wanted to reach out to someone in fandom who won't jump down my throat for it 😅. 911 is kind of a hyperfixation of mine so even though I'm trying to stay away as much as possible so as to not make myself more upset but I have no idea what to do with myself otherwise 🫠. Thanks for reading and sorry for unloading on you

Please don’t apologize, im happy you felt like I was a safe space. Im gonna break this into two parts and I hope I can articulate myself correctly lol

1) the first few days after an episode, any episode but especially one like this, isn’t indicative of fandom as a whole. Emotions are heightened due to what happened in the episode. Everyone is screaming about something and it’s in your face ya know? This week something HUGE happened, so yes people are talking about it. It was to be expected. We must make space for people to be happy about it. It’s a beautiful thing and queer joy MUST be celebrated.

This show (for the most part) has done a beautiful job of giving each character their time to shine(some more so than others but thats a conversation for a different day). Coming off 7x04, yes the headline is Bi Buck. And it will continue to be for a while, but it’s important to remember that YOU curate your fandom experience. I don’t blame you at all for what you’re feeling, ESPECIALLY as an Eddie girlie(gn), like I get it! Trust me! I’ve had to carefully maneuver through some emotions this week myself. I’m human! But filtering and being able to step away is everything.

Being excited about the storyline and also hoping and wanting more from other storylines are two things that can be true at the same time. It’s not one or the other. Remember that.

2) im going to say this and just know the caps is because I am just passionate. I promise you, its yelling at you with love okay?

I know it is easier said than done, but don’t you EVER allow ANYONE on this fucking hellsite make you feel less than or that your asexuality is anything but 100% valid. YOU are valid, you hear me?

Okay. I had to make sure to say that first. Whew. Now. As for the fandom piece of it all, we have to remember that there levels to it. You are allowed to feel the way you feel about sex, BUT it’s also important to remember that sex positivity (and those who express it) is also a good and valid. If you feel like there are blogs that talk down to you, imply that YOU are homophobic or biphobic simply because YOU are not doing cartwheels about different sex acts, then block. Unfollow. Do whatever you need to. Those people are scum.

Listen to me *pulls you close*, this is always a safe space. You are a valid, your existence and experiences are valid. And anyone who makes you question that can fuck right off. And lastly, HAPPY ASEXUALITY DAY TO YOU SPECIFICALLY! MUAH! 💜🤍🩶🖤

#this got REALLY long and I am sorry for that lmfaoooo #911 asks

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blububblgum · 4 months

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im not arguing with her and her gorgeous brown eyes. whatever u say beautiful.

also!!! next in my dnd series: Alicent hightower!!!! Twilight domain cleric for the church of the Seven. as per usual, details under the cut

I was pretty sure of cleric immediately, because while it is predictable, it also fits most of how alicent was raised and how she acts. The harder part was figuring out what her domain would be, because of how differently the dnd gods behave compared to the religion within westeros. If we treat the Seven as one entity (many faces to one god) then that is kinda boring because theres all of 3 "pantheons", and one of them is just one being. However if we treat them as 7 separate/ semi separate deities then they get a little bit simplistic. So im gonna use a kinda happy middle, with them being both one being and yet also separate heads (almost like a hydra, or the way the entities in the magnus archives are described). Using them this ways means that when deciding alicents domain, the aspect that she worships should go with it.

For her domain, I was really torn between order, peace, and twlight. I'll go through each as briefly as I can. The order domain is a great one for the mechanics of combat, and while I've been keeping that in mind, I don't really think alicent would be in the frontlines even in a dnd world. However, the order domain really matches the strict, rules based approach that alicent has been raised with in regards to religion and then how she behaves when she is older, and so it would make sense for her to be within this domain. Peace is a bit controversal I know!! However if you get rid of Otto's bitch ass, alicent would really be a peacemaker I think. When she is younger and not yet married, she was a soothing presence for rhaenyra, and I think she has the potential to be a peace domain. Lastly, the twilight domain, which is a little bit more disconnected from the different faces of the seven, but I think its so fun. With the twilight domain, there are the elements of peace, but it’s a little bit more in between. It’s a bit more about the transition into the darkness of night, while still staying positive and calm. As you can all tell, I decided on the twilight domain, because it retains the complexity of alicents life (and doesn't require basically removing everything to do with otto) and it isn't exclusively a combat build.

Now that we've explained her domain, I wanna talk about the faces of the seven. To say that alicent is mainly connected to the mother feels like reducing her to her relationship with the targaryan house, and how she can provide for them. However, I don't think its fair to reduce the mother (and maiden) to how active someone's sex life is, so I want to combine the aspects of her that are about peace with elements of the stranger. I know the stranger is rarely worshipped, and a bit taboo in the world of asoiaf, but ! In dnd the gods are quite different, and death is nowhere near the end for many people. Since alicent is a cleric, and a medium high level one at that (I was thinking around level 9, though I don't see her going much above level 13 idk) she has the ability to cast both revivify (resurrects people within 1 min of their death) and raise dead (resurrects people within 10 days of their death). With those powers in mind, and her domain having some depth, I think the mother and stranger are the main two that alicent prays to (and thus gains her powers from).

For the final collection of thoughts, the feat "keen mind" would go well with how well alicent remembers and thinks over everything. It gives her the ability to always know which way is north, as well as a perfect recall on events/info learnt within the past month. Which is pretty baller. If her other feat is observant (increases passive perception, and gives the ability to read lips), and she has a 20 wisdom at level nine (not unreasonable for the stat associated with your class) then her perception and insight + memory would be killer when dealing with politics. I think her stats go (highest to lowest) wisdom, intelligence, constitution, charisma, dexterity, strength. Once again i apologize for making castors have lesser physical stats but it just makes sense.

Ok thank u for reading, i'm in love with you.

#my art #digital fanart #digital drawing #dnd #dnd 5e #alicent hightower #fire and blood #asoiaf girls #twilight domain cleric #cleric #character design #alicent fanart #hotd #dnd art

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lux-espiravit · 5 months

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Log #1 "Okay So- I got myself into this mess" Loading....

Some friends gave me their thoughts on the series after I asked around and their answers made me think.

AreOri is an alternate timeline where Fubuki Atsuya lives, the alien attack didn't happen, Gouenji didn't have to run, Raimon got divorced and went separate ways, and teams have sponsors now because capitalism. (im joking on some parts but still)

Now, we're starting where everything is dead and done and Raimon already went to other schools and made a name for themselves, and we're following a new cast who have to deal with the aftermath of everything. And the new villain, children perfectionism/ half-joke. I haven't finished Ares yet, but I can feel like that's a part of the theme especially with the whole schtick the Balance of Ares program's got going on. But that's a different story for a different time.

What I'm gonna be talking about now is the characters.

Of course that characters we loved and knew from the OG series are gonna be different here. (im still confused about someoka ngl) The development they went through in the OG is gonna be pretty different here or probably non-existent. A huge part of Fubuki's arc was caused by his family's death and it all avalanched into mental instability. (if my memory's right, it's been a while since i've revisted the OG series) Kazemaru also probably didn't leave Raimon in the AreOri timeline, so guess what, he just teams up with the antagonist in his character arc in every timeline. It actually reveals an interesting about his character, tho (i HAVE to watch the entirety of OG, im feeling it)

But the thing is, we also have ANOTHER cast to develop along with explaining some of the changes with the first cast. I feel like there's going to be a lot of flashback moments with the old cast. And to make up for the lack of development of some characters, I'm gonna involve the new cast into their development so the spotlight gets shared equally if it comes to it. Cause the new cast needs some love AND development. But I still have to finish the series and study them more.

So, my thoughts so far on Ares:

Rushed. Jesus H. Christ, twas rushed. It gives the feeling of tuning in while missing out on parts of the story, atleast for me. The first episode made me feel like I was missing the first half of it. I wished they let us see what the kids' life on the island was like. You know to SHOW US WHY WE SHOULD CARE FOR IT. Shoving a bunch of kids crying for their parents on screen aint gonna cut it for everyone, my good men. Show us what their life was like, what they were gonna miss. At least like a part so the flashbacks in their training felt a bit foreshadowed and connects to what we saw to the first ep to make it a little more memorable. (i am losing brain power fast, so im not sure if this makes any good sense)

The thing with Ares, Akane, and Nosaka got me curious. The Inakuni has potential. Haizuki's funny. I kind of like his development. Also I love Endou's civilian fit when he made his first appearance. Idk i just fell in love with it. (give him back his melanin pls) Kozoumaru's interesting, especially his connection with Gouenji (dude helps out a kid in every timeline). Hiura's supposed to be like a detective, right? Let him be more detective-y. Goujin's funny. He has a little charm to him. Mansaku and Michinari are interesting, especially their family dynamics. I love Iwato and Hattori's relationship. They're cute. Who is Okuiri Hiro? I love Norika's personality (it's a personal favorite thing). I think her backstory and home life are interesting. Hiyori's cute and I like him. He's silly. Coach Zhao is Coach Zhao. (this man is a war criminal) I like the new managers. She's silly and Anna's nice.

I'm gonna save Asuto (Bug Boy) for another post.

Peace Out!

#inazuma eleven ares #inazuma eleven orion #ghost rewrites

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hopelessrromantix · 2 years

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hullo!! i saw your post about mlm fic requests and if you still have the knife i have an idea.

m!reader has some sleeping issues, a lot like insomnia, and he's sitting by the fish tank, watching the two fish swirl around, moping a little bit because he wants to sleep but he just can't. occasionally looking at the clock tick by.

honestly when he's a little close to tears, Steven (who's at front) comes behind him and asks what's up, reader gets to explain what's happening and Steven's like "oh we have that happen sometimes! i can try to help :)" (because he's a lil sweetheart) maybe just some sweet comforts from Steven & the system in general, idk idk.

as the author, it's up to you to how it ends!! but i've read some of your fics and im in looove <333

laters gators! -💫

i always have the knife <3 short but enjoy some fluff comfort cause im an insomniac who loves these boys

tw: existential thoughts, enjoy <3

It was so easy for everyone else. It came naturally. They’d slump into bed and fall asleep minutes later.

Yet here you were at 2 am, watching Gus 2 and 3 swim around in their tanks. Even they seemed to be doing better than you.

It was like this most nights. Even sleeping with Marc, Jake, or Steven only helped so much. You still found yourself up far later than you should be, wishing you could sleep as well as they did.

Everything was so difficult. So impossible.

It felt like you couldn’t do the smallest thing right. Something every person was supposed to be capable of. And here you sat, tired but unable to sleep, wishing you could just go to bed and be done with the day.

Your mind drifted more than you wanted it to. You didn’t want to spend every night like this. The idea of doing this every night for the rest of your life? All of that was too much.

You didn’t even notice yourself tearing up until your eyes stung. You weren’t one to cry, especially not around the boys. They had each been through a lot, you tried not to burden them with more.

But when you were alone at night, everything seemed so much more overwhelming.

A hand on your shoulder startled you out of your thoughts, directing you to the person behind you.

“Oh, sorry love. Didn’t mean to startle you, promise,” Steven apologized, his voice low. You knew he’d just woken up, and now you regretted not just staying in bed. Now they would be up too and just as tired as you the following day.

“Don’t be sorry,” You said, shaking your head. “I didn’t mean to wake you up.”

Steven waved you off. He sat down on the couch next to you, looking over your shoulder to the fish tank.

“You didn’t, I was gonna grab water anyway.” You weren’t sure how true that was, but you were glad he wasn’t upset. You smiled, looking over to him. He looked tired, but calm. The moon light reflected in his eyes, illuminating the soft brown color.

“You alright?” He questioned, his expression growing concerned. He reached a hand up to your cheek, wiping away a stray tear. You hadn’t even realized you let it fall. “Have you been up this whole night?”

“I wasn’t tired, nothing to worry about,” You reassured. Judging by Steven’s furrowed brows, he didn’t believe you.

“Why didn’t you wake me up?” He sounded so hurt, it made your chest sting. You hadn’t meant to upset him. He needed the sleep too.

“It’s just insomnia, Steven,” You confided. “It happens a lot and you need sleep.” You reached up to his hand, gripping it on your own. You wrapped an arm around his shoulder, pulling him into you. He followed, but kept the worried expression.

“I used to have trouble sleeping too,” He muttered, sounding tired. “It’s a lot easier now that you’re here.”

He smiled, resting your head on top of his.

“We could try music. Or earplugs. Rewatch a movie you like, read a book. I have plenty of things to try, we just need to find one that works.”

“It’s not your problem, Steven,” You said softly. His kindness was sweet, but he didn’t have to worry.

“Yea, it is. You think I’m gonna sleep now that I know you’re sitting awake, all alone?” He asked. “You think Marc and Jake would either?”

You didn’t say anything, reaching your free hand to take one of Steven’s. You traced the back of his hand slowly, drawing random shapes.

“I love you. We love you. If that means staying up a little late and talking, then that’s fine with me.” He glanced over to the fish tank, looking into the glass for a minute. “It’s fine with Marc and Jake too.” He buried himself further into your chest, wrapping his hands around your torso.

Finally, you let yourself cry.

“I love you too.”

#letters to moon knight #male reader #dom male reader #top male reader #steven grant #marc spector #jake lockley #jake lockley x male reader #jake lockley x reader #steven grant x male reader #steven grant x reader #marc spector x reader #marc spector x male reader

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prince-simon · 2 months

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hi! firstly love your fics!! secondly im curious about 8 and 10 for the writing questions! :)

Hiiii thank you so much!! I remember your comment from the other day!! That was so so sweet so thank you for that and thank you for the questions!!

8. Share a snippet from one of your favorite dialogue scenes you’ve written and explain why you’re proud of it.

Okay so I was sitting on this one for a while so this might be biased bc i literally just reread that part - plus I think this is just my favourite bit of anything I've ever written - but it just ticks all the boxes for me. This scene in general is so important to me bc I think it was literally one of the first scenes in prince simon that I ever imagined. Like it had to happen one way or another (and it did go through minor changes of how we got there) and I think the fact that I'm rereading this for like. The millionth time now and it's still making me feel insane says everything you need to know

(excerpt from ch 4 of I don't feel like our love is brand new)

Wilhelm turned to Simon, undoubtedly wild gaze in his eyes. “But you’re not, are you?” He challenged, “I mean, look at you. You can’t even stand upright. What were you doing getting on a plane in that condition? Why are you so goddamn reckless?” He didn’t mean to yell, but his emotions were bubbling over and it was all too much, he didn’t know what else to do.

“I’m sorry, okay? I- I don’t- you-“ Simon mumbled, unable to meet Wilhelm’s gaze.

Wilhelm walked back over to him, kneeling down once more. He raised his shaking hands to cup Simon’s bruised face in his hands. So carefully that he was barely touching him at all but he needed Simon to look at him. Simon’s eyes were swimming with unshed tears. “Simon, promise me you won’t go anywhere without security again. You gotta promise me!” Wilhelm begged.

“Wille…” Simon whispered.

Wilhelm shook his head. “Promise me. Please. I can’t lose you. I cannot lose you, Simon. Please.” And then he was being reckless when he pressed his lips to Simon’s. It was the ghost of a kiss really, Wilhelm too aware of the pain something even so gentle could cause Simon.

No spoilers but in the next chapter of housed by your warmth there's some dialogue that had me snorting and giggling while writing it (very different vibes to the snippet up there obviously) so I'm very excited to share that soon as well

10. Which fic has been the easiest to write?

Oooh I think I'm gonna go with not if it's you on that one just because I wrote that so quickly (I think in like two weeks?) and idk things just fell into place I guess. I don't remember any major breakdowns with that one so that's always a good sign sjdjdjf

#writer asks #ask #wilmonsfolklore #prince simon au #nanny fic #young royals

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elix8r · 3 months

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never thought id do this but heres an essay on my thoughts on monkey bars 😭😭🤍🤍🤍

let me preface this by saying you did such an amazing job with this truly, you wrote so so well and i feel like you encapsulated every perfect emotion in the best way possible, and somehow it just gets better and better? i forgot how pt 1 went so i reread it before i read pt 2 and i was blown away again but youve even improved somehow ?!!? youre like the gift that keeps on giving 💋 also, thank you so so much for pushing through and writing this, i know it couldnt have been easy struggling with writers block but i hope u know we all think the world of this fic so please see the worth of your work 💗

ok now MY THOUGHTS!!! oh my lord, where to begin… first of all, same as before: from part one, i was already irked with jake when he pulled the beomgyu shit (albeit i moved on pretty damn fast surprisingly) but the cliffhanger you left us on was a game changer like he crossed the line so bad. i was conviced i would never forgive him. if someone did that to me i would have the exact same reaction as y/n tbh. anger later sad confusion panic first. and seeing the aftermath in part 2??? first of all, so glad she had such a good support system around her and people who actually put their morals first aka 02z bc u already know men irl would defend their “boys” first or whatever 🙄 hearing other girls gossip about her actually broke my heart cos if it was me i wouldve cried n had a panic attack there and then … and knowing my PARENTS know about it 😭😭😭

you wrote so well i was actually about to insert myself in NO JOKE!!!! like ok lets stray for a while but me personally i dont like “dumping” my emotions on anybody bc it makes me feel like im burdening them but when i read the scene when she went back home,, oh lord i wanted to cry in the dads arms there n then, u have a talent with words fr 🫣🫣

SORRY BACK TO OUR SCHEDULED ANNOUNCEMENT, nowhere in this fic was my heart set in stone. ok i lied. for the first 80% i was like FUCK THAT MAN HE DESERVES TO DIE IM NEVER FORGIVING YOU but then i started feeling pity too DO YOU SEE WHAT I MEAN WHEN I SAY YOURE AMAZING AT WRITING??? like am i throwing away my morals or am i just understanding that people are multidimensional,, woah lord,, like tbh i wouldnt have forgiven jake bc something of that scale is just not in my books, was way too extreme, but the way you wrote his character, his guilt, the actual situation??? couldnt even blame y/n for feeling sympathetic cos damn me too… i know a lot of people might not agree (especially irl. DEF NOT) but the way you wrote everything… how do you not feel bad for the poor boy 😭 in no way is y/n to blame for ANYTHING but at some point i started to be worried for jake too so i was like u know what. fine. get together with the boy. NO WAIT. idk. dont. IDK?!!!?

i think me personally, i wouldnt have been able to forgive him but i wouldve tried to move past it, despite how hard it would be. whether or not we get together would be a different question because rebuilding trust would take a lot, but,, yeah. overall i am soooo fucking satisfied with this, and the ending was so refreshing tbh!!! at first i was hoping they wouldn’t get together (literally when they kissed again i was like NOOO GIRLLLL WHYYYYY have more self respect!!!!) but after your slayful writing i was like nah u know what give them a happy ending,, n u did not disappoint,,,, i loved how it ended and that fresh start at the end was really like a breath of fresh air i have no idea how to explain it but it just genuinely did feel like a fresh start. i loved it. i will be rereading. thank you

OH MY GOSH THIS IS THE LONGEST MESSAGE I'VE EVER GOTTEN AND IM LITERALLY SCREAMING IN JOY BECAUSE OF IT!!

this was insane praise like omfg thank you so much! i always have such a hard time wondering if what i wrote is good enough to put out for you guys and to hear you say that is so meaningful to me 😭 the writer's block def was a bitch but hearing you say that you could see that I've improved makes everything worth it like i'd go through it again if it'll help me get better at writing im crying literally 🥹

so the whole time i was writing this last part i had a hard time deciding if oc should forgive him or not because personally i would never be able to but i just felt that the only way for this story to wrap up well and in a satisfying way would be if it was a happy? ending so i ended up just going with that and yes one of the main things i wanted to show was that everyone was rooting for y/n so i made sure no one excused jake's behavior

the scene where she went back home was kind of tough to write like i totally get you i get really emotionally invested even when im writing and jfc just imagining how my parents would react literally had me going through it like her dad was devastated and i think it really shows to what extent one person's actions/mistakes can effect cause this shit not only broke her down but also most of those around her so those scenes were def tough to write

but i am so so so glad to hear how much you enjoyed the ending and overall this story! you seriously just relieved me of so many of my worries regarding this story and i always feel like the best compliment is when people tell me they'll reread my stuff so thank you so so much for sending me this ginormous message and hope I'll continue to produce stuff you like! love you loads 🫶 🫶 🫶

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lannisterdaddyissues · 10 months

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Mar im gonna need 3, 16, 20, 23 and 27 with bill cage <3

@calkale @sliderkerner WAAAAAAAAA THANK YOU MY BELOVED FRIENDS FOR INDULGING MY INSANITY I LOVE YOU GUYS <3333

1. My first impression of them hmm its funny bc i think i first watched edge of tomorrow in august and i was normal about it actually? i was like hm that was a good film but not the best of his movies for sure. i dont think i really understood most of it though so a rewatch was necessary, but that didn't happen until february and idk what clicked that didn't the first time but oh i am SOOOOOOOOOO insane about it now the lights are all flipped on

2. When I think I truly started to like them (or dislike them, if you've sent me a character I don't like) i knew as soon as he tripped over the chair that i was going to love his stupid pathetic ass <3

3. A song that reminds me of them ill NEVER STOP SAYING THIS but 'the proof of your love' by for king & country it is SO bill-coded, so billrita-coded, it's literally their theme song idk what else you want me to say

however since i've said that one before i'm reccing 'undercover angel' by alan o'day because it would be one of those classics he used to love growing up and when he hears it again on the radio some time after they've gotten together he's like "rita oh my GOD do you know how to dance 🥺🥺🥺" and she's like "nooooooo not the fucking angel song, cage, come on-" but he teaches her how to waltz to it and . let me be delusional okay

16. A childhood headcanon wawawa.... baby bill.... hm i have several small ones but i firmly subscribe to the headcanon that he was actually born in georgia because his mom is from there (it would explain EVERYTHING about him, especially because i also hc that his personality was just copy-pasted directly from his mom) but he moved to cranbury when he was like one or two so he considers himself "from cranbury, born and raised" anyway

20. A weird headcanon ok uhhhh idk if this is weird but it IS oddly specific so! he can make one (1) pie recipe! it's blueberry pie (cranbury is famous for it, according to google) and rita LOVES it. she's definitely not a sugar person and rarely indulges in anything at all but she's such a sucker for that fucking pie and bill is always over the moon whenever she gives him That Look that means she wants another slice but is too proud to ask

23. Future headcanon he takes rita to visit cranbury a couple years after they both fall into place beside each other and it's a very emotionally healing experience for both of them. he tells her lots of silly meaningless little anecdotes from when he was growing up while giving her the grand tour and rita isn't a very sentimental person either but she can't help how easy it is to picture him living in that cute little town when he gets so chatty about it :,)

(also rita eventually takes him to her hometown in wolverhampton and reluctantly introduces him to her very alive, very normal parents because i said so)

27. If they could meet a character from another show/movie/etc, who would be the most fun for them to meet? in my mind he and fix it felix jr get brunch every sunday to catch up about the horrors they have been through and gush about their sexy muscular action girlfriends. nobody can take this idea away from me

#ask #reply #calkale #sliderkerner #mutual #mutuals #ask meme #edge of tomorrow #bill cage #billrita #THANK YOU FOR THE ASKS THESE WERE SO FUN LMFAO

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alrightrandy · 3 months

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new year, new plans

what's this? a geniune alrightrandy blog post that isn't just random slop? …finally.

all jokes aside, i'm well aware that i haven't necessarily been ultilizing this site – as well as other platforms im on, as much as i wanted to. however, considering the new year has just begun i believe it's time to make some form of change around here.

i just want to preface this by saying that, all through out last year, i've ran myself into some personal turmoil that led me to essentially lack any sort of focus to work on any hobbies. it's hard to explain, i feel like i have done a lot but at the same time i clearly didn't have much creative output as much as i wanted to. and again, it didn't help that i was also juggling with stuff in my personal life too.

i guess the point i'm trying to make across here is that, i haven't properly found a right balance for myself, both creatively and irl-wise. and i certainly didn't have a proper sense of direction either… but i'm hoping to change that this year!

through out the end of 2023 up until the mid january, i've went through a pretty prolific event that kind of sparked a slew of motivation and plans to really get myself back.

in summary, around the holidays a phone of mine completely bricked itself for some random reason, making it practically inaccessible for me to use. and keep in mind, i'm still saving up to get myself a laptop, so i really had no other personal devices besides that phone.

thankfully, i did manage to get a new one – however, the point is that me being phone-less for a brief moment was very "humbling" for me. not only it was the only device for communication and having a creative outlet, but it just goes to show nothing should be taken for granted. ANYTHING can be lost in a matter of seconds, a simple reminder that i really needed to get myself together.

and with that, everything brings me to here. i've somewhat finally came up with a plan to hopefully boost some motivation within me, and also have a better commitment to my creative output.

to get the obvious stuff out of the way, in reguards of my youtube channel – as well as anything reguarding about dj'ing and music. i am going to try my best to put a heavier focus on these since its something i'm still a complete beginner at. it's a new hobby i've recently picked up, and it only makes sense for me to try to lean onto it a bit more. matter in fact...

i just recently put out something onto my channel!

youtube

i'm going try to put out at least one mini mix on a monthly (or bi-monthly) basis. hopefully it will not only expand my portfolio as a dj, but i geniunely think this could help with my issues with commiting to something. plus, i think it would definitely bring in some life to my channel since i still have no clue what direction i want to take it in.

don't get it twisted, i still want to experiment with all sorts of different types of videos. however, i can't make any promises if any of it will reach the light of day. at least with these mini mixes, they will hopefully still appear consistently even if i have nothing else to upload. idk, i think its a decent enough idea to sink time into.

now, reguarding everything about creating artwork and ultilizing my platforms. it's still somewhat uncertain, however if you checked my pinned post i have recently updated it with new sites you can check me out on!

but in short, i will also try to branch out more and maybe even network myself to finding ppl / communities. and along the way, i will also try to get back into creating art since i really have been putting that on the back burner. again, no promises but i have been putting some thought into it! (i'm looking at you Newgrounds and Bluesky…)

i'm reaching my text limit, so this is all i have for now. i'll catch you guys on the flipside, i really do hope i do better this year. knock me out if this post ages horribly lol

happy 2024!

~🐇

#update #new year #blog #plans #youtube #Youtube

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flower-zombie-rob · 1 year

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My guy you are not obligated to love your emotionally abusive mother and you are not a bad person for hating someone who mistreats you like that constantly.

In fact, thinking just bc she's your mother you're required to love and respect her is lowkey the abuse working on you. Don't let your brain wire itself that way. She's not entitled to your love, respect and obedience just bc she decided to push you out of her and you are not her personal dress-up doll. Fuck what she says about your hair and clothing choices, you're you, not whatever warped version of you she expects you to be.

And idk if she's aware you have RSD or a dif neurological disorder, but RSD is a common trait in neurodivergent people and if she's taking advantage of it knowingly, that's ableist as shit.

You don't owe her SHIT. You're valid the way you are and you have every right to hate someone who constantly tears you down, fucks with your emotions and self-image, acts entitled to your autonomy, and demands you take all of it with a smile. Fuck her dude. Don't let her convince you you're the problem.

I've been there with my dad in the past. I know the feel to a certain degree. It's a lot of mental gymnastics but if you keep rationalizing things and disregarding everything she says because YOU know you best, you'll come out of it a little less fucked up one day.

I really apreciate the kindness and support people have given me reguarding this. For most unaware, i do have self diagnosed adhd(educated guess, i just fit all the symptoms and it explains a lot of my life experiences. Am planning on trying to get a clinical diagnosis soon) and it causes me to have a lot of sensitivity to critisism and it causes a lot of self hatred. I have a lot of perfectionism and even though she's a really good parent and she loves and supports me some of the things she says as a very judgy person just hit me a lot in a very personal way. Shes not someone that takes critisism very well herself and because im non confrontational person i dont like to rock the boat. Shes not abusive, not at least the way i would consider emotional abuse, but i feel she does sometimes just not have this awareness of my senstitivity, especially when her critisisms are so often on the basis of me doing non-heteronormative things. Having an androgynous hairstyle, dying my hair colours she doesnt like, dressing in a way thats more conventionally too queer for her(even though she'd never word it like that) and the way she'll constantly encourage me to change who i am just really leads to self hatred. I wont do these things because they wont make me happy, but the critisisms lead to this sense of self hatred and self conciousness in moments where i once felt confident. An example of this is the robbie the zombie cosplay i did for comic con this weekend. I litterally chose the day where id wake up in a hotel and have time at the end of the day to change into something more normal that she wouldnt mind me wearing before i got home bevause i knew her first comment would be a critisism. She gets angry with me using a rude tone with her that I'm not aware I'm using simply because whenever she comes to talk to me I make the immediate assumption that she's going to say something that will feel like she's tearing me down. This perfectionism complex I have can lead to a lot of the things that she says just feeling like I'm not good enough for her. I'm planning on trying to work through it in therapy when I start it but it's just a general thing that I have to deal with in every once in a while it really hits me all-in-one go when I have multiple things stressing out. I don't think she's emotionally abusive and she really does look out for me and support me in so many ways, but it's just that with this aspect of our relationship she hasn't seemed to have reached that point where she allows me to have freedom of expression without any form of judgement from her. I'm trying to move on from it and soon enough when I get my own place or when I move out or when I get a partner or just a better support system and found family in general I won't have to feel so judged and consumed by what she wants for me. Until then it's just this rejection sensitivity thing that I'm going to have to work through and suffer with because of this major issue with criticism and perfection is and that I have for myself.

It's really sweet the amount of people on here that are really supporting me though and saying really sweet things about me. The way my mother reacts to my opinion on how I look makes me feel unattractive and ugly and like I would look better wearing things that I don't want to wear. When I post pictures of myself on here however people react to it in a way that makes me feel really good about myself and proves to me that her opinion is not the only one i should listen to. I'm still yet to sort this out with her because I don't like to confront her on this kind of thing. She reacts very viscerally and attends with me usually just feeling guilty and like a horrible person so until I can get past the way she manipulates my words during confrontations I'm just going to have to find myself some confidence in a place that isn't her and deal with the criticism.

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cathalbravecog · 5 months

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one thing i've been trying to wrap my head around is: if hired help is still canon, but everything else relating to it is not then. what happened to the C.J?? does he just not exist? and for that matter where the heck Elvis? and does the witness stand-in still exist? idk is there a statement i'm missing?

IM TRYING TO WRAP MY HEAD AROUND THIS TOO!! was cj ever canon in ttcc now as of the recent things?? what about winston who mentions him? is that part of the lore gonna be changed or is it gonna be like "he did leave and he is canon, just not how the old comics showed it"

literally in the first panels of hired help break the law is mentioned by name and we see elvis' missing poster but in my opinion almost everything seems to be leading to the clash crew trying to move on from this story possibly?

they possibly didn't wanna edit things out from the comic but since litigation team is still there i guess that hired help is still canon, but to be taken with a grain of salt? like aside from a meeting of two minds we only have 2 cog lore comics that are still deemed as canon and a meeting of two minds is

i believe ther never was a statement about this, aside from the article that mentions the writing team working on a complete re-write for the main taskline and also just.. the story in general and acknowledging how hard to access it is now and how confusing things have gotten

unfortunately with that it's in an even more confusing state now, so honestly it's just... about the wait until any other statements are put out or until any writing updates are released! i wish this was communicated a bit better but again i understand the crew is busy with mix and match and hammerspace currently. still, wish this was communicated better. unless i too, have missed a discord statement...?

it's a bit of a nightmare right now trying to just. solve what's currently canon and what's not. like we know for sure what's visible in game right now with the managers and a meeting of two minds and at least the april toons thomas dialogue stuff is canon (though with this i'd assume some minor old stuff thomas talks about may be tweaked...? again i have a re-read in order)

but anything to do with break the law and diane joining the company and cj leaving is questionable currently. which is... very confusing seeing that it's mentioned several times in hired help. i kinda analyzed that comic for myself just yesterday . especially this stands out

atticus wing is literally mentioned by name here and also the whole affect it had on cog insurance companies (and courtney and barry) is mentioned too. aside from thomas i don't believe we ever saw the full effect that atticus' death had on the cog world which always rubbed me the wrong way, since it was supposed to be kinda a big deal and now it's being put under the rug. and yet atticus still haunts so many parts of the story after. so like

(i think about this a lot and a part of my hc's ive been working on would rewrite atticus' death to have a bit more of an impact, while explaining how exactly he died and couldn't be repaired, while cogs who've gone through worse literally in-game through gags are rebuilt and repaired. though i'd need to re-read and re-watch old things for that, it's been a while... plus i've never seen actual content from the events this took place in myself, i wasn't playing toontown at the time, not even ttr!) uaurgh well done character in an admittedly (yet passionately put together) somewhat messy story . again i need to say this each time i criticize this i love the work staff does but i think it's only fair i get to be honest with my thoughts on these things as a fan. we're all just people here y'know

current state? i dunno. still fun to speculate things though. apologies for my thoughts being scrambled and if i forgot things, i didn't mean this one to be so long

#[answered]

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