#but god the underneath of it all the subtext the care the relationship
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the rituals of the couch and kitchen scenes are so damn intricate. i cannot express to you how much those two scenes say even in just the tiniest of things. the storytelling is outstanding because somehow they manage to perfectly balance the overwhelmingly obvious with the stunningly subtle. you have the smack in the face of the couch metaphor and the outright punch of the shooting mention. but then you have these tiny little moments that show just how well buck and eddie know each other, how deep their relationship is, how much it exists offscreen in the onscreen moments. because you have buck who barely ever sets boundaries for himself, walks into the diaz house with one clear boundary and eddie doesn't cross it until he has explicit permission because he gives buck control in the same way that buck allows him to let go of control. buck, the guy who is terrified of being too much shows up at eddie's doorstep unannounced, the guy who's terrified of being left walks into a house without even waiting for his welcome, the guy who is always performing for others sitting down on a couch and letting it all drift away. and it has eddie not just allowing him to do this but indulging it because he's been making sure buck knows he can do this since season three !! (i'm not really a guest) !! not only this but when he wakes up there's no apology, he just seeks eddie out. then you have the intricacies of their care for each other. it shows us buck, the guy who hates to be a burden, letting eddie take care of him and how eddie will let buck decide how he's allowed to take care of him. we've seen time and time again that buck knows when to push with eddie, and there's an element of that here with the question about the shooting, but more than that, we see that eddie knows when to wait buck out. and it shows that buck trusts that eddie will not only face up to something that big for him, but will do so in a way to give buck hope. and in turn eddie trusts buck to let him take his time with it and treat it gently. the rituals !! they're so intricate !!!
#sami rambles#it makes me fucking crazy just how much love there is in those scenes#like i love the couch metaphor and the novelty of oh shiny new kitchen scene and the content of the shooting conversation#but god the underneath of it all the subtext the care the relationship#the writing the acting the characterisation is all done with so much fucking artful love for the craft and its just.#its a love letter really. to us to the show to buck and eddie to the cast and crew.#911 show#911 fox#evan buckley#eddie diaz#buddie#buck x eddie#911 meta
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Don't think I ever explained it, but the reason I like SWK accidentally killing Mac so much isn't actually for the whumpy apologies, tho the confrontation of it in fics is always so delicious, but what has me going insane is actually the layers of their relationship breakdown. Like, you have these two immortal monkeys, they are perfectly designed by fate for each other's companionship. There is genuine care there, and it never dies. Never. They were just torn apart so tragically. Nobody fell to the dark side, there was no jealousy, no hatred. There was just every manifestation of grief and miscommunication. You could never get the right words out. You couldn't help what came out of your mouth in that moment, the bitterness you would have swallowed back in for just one more morning of peeling tangerines in the summer breeze, all the quiet ways to say 'I love you.' Their break-up was like shredding bamboo, the faults and woes, the insecurities and failings, and the hurtful words and the entrapment and all the ways you can't reach, and the loss of everything and the denial and oh, the time just wasn't right, it all boiled over, and speaking a language that can no longer be heard, and the shattering of unconditionality. They had their own flaws, that you never could have thought would tear them apart, but it did. And they had to go on their own journeys of self-growth, had their own people and places they were devoted to, they were the only ones for each other, but they were not only meant for that. And goodness, was it the wrong time. Wukong, trapped, the loss of freedom he fought for, to be the strongest so he could be free and happy, and everyone else too. Macky, constantly grappling with having to follow the sun-streaked trail Wukong blazes, even the moon unable to pause the day unless the sun chooses to set in its ambition to climb higher into the sky, never coming down. The accident of it all? Even if Swk never did, the "did you think all this time, that I could kill you just like that? like you meant nothing to me?" is going to be SUCH a good broken, grief-stricken line delivery from Wukong. But if not, then ooh, the exploration for those who have a similar anger they try to control, when they release emotions externally, and might accidentally break something, those moments don't define you, but how could you undo the damage, how do you make it normal when its not an object you broke, you hurt a friend, it was you, but it also wasn't you had it only been, what if what if what if- if only, and that's a very basic explanation, and even I can't get all the words down right, but its just a realistic thing, how it all fell apart, I think. that conversation has layers, even if I explain it poorly XD you could grab every tragic tumblr post about fading friendships, and love metaphors with sharing quiet spaces and fruit together, and it could be them. also the "came back wrong" trope potential with Macky, ooh. is it him. despite everything, are you still you, could you ever be. are you the same person killed long ago, is this for the best, or shall we both start over again? can you be recognized underneath it all, and is that tragic or a second chance.
god they have so many layers and one of the cool things about lmk keeping Macky’s death and the specifics of shadowpeach’s relationship vague is how much nuance and subtext is left in there. you can peel back layers upon layers and pain upon pain and bond upon bond and still find new info and interpretations and nuances and—
I know you’ve seen me gripe about not being given enough info, but i do really enjoy it when the story allows us to infer and think deeply about certain aspects of the story. I like it when a story isn’t 100% clear or honest to the audience because that leads you to look deeper. think deeper. and try to fathom all the clues brought to you
(but i gripe about it because i’m inpatient af and like having all the pieces right in front of me. there are so many threads and plot theories i have on my little conspiracy board that i don’t want to touch just yet because i feel like i need more pieces before making a confident analysis)
another thing is that both swk and Macky are unreliable when retelling their past. they have their biases and emotions that are tied to the memories. however, swk omits the truth more than outright lies while Macky cannot keep his emotions away from skewing the past. and then the clear truth comes out when it’s forced out from them (think Samadhi fire and scroll memories)
(then again, swk doesn’t really say much of his past and likes to keep it brief. out of the two he is the most honest in terms of he’s self reflective and understands that his past self has issues. is he completely honest about shit tho? no but we’re talking about shadowpeach)
and the cool thing is that “the love was still there” in the past and even when both were on opposite ends. both monkeys were falling into a darker path and while they had communication issues the love was still there. and even while they fought under the mountain and even when they probably fought during jttw, the love was still there
but neither had the tools to save each other and neither really knew how to stop each other from their doom and isn’t that such a beautiful thing to analyze and think about on the screen?
#idk i just really like pairing where even tho they failed each other the love was there#even when the love was dying out#even when it was now kindled with hatred and betrayal#those can only be strengthened by love and so it was there#and there is something so fascinating about watching a pair with such a huge relationship baggage fall apart and be at odds & then try agai#yeah#idk if i said all the words i wanted but there ya go#lmk#shadowpeach#asks
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oh I desperately want to know more of your thoughts about iCarly 👉👈
alright, ask and you shall receive! let’s get into it.
so, first, a correction to my last post. in it, I said that we don’t know when Spencer dated Audrey. but in fact, we do!
I checked my notes again, and in s04e05 (iDo), Carly and the gang try to convince a woman to marry her fiance instead of chasing after Spencer (god, what a weird show), and while listing Spencer’s negative qualities, Carly says, "Oh! And he hasn't had a steady girlfriend since high school!"
Spencer is 29 years old here. he’s been going on dates regularly throughout the show, and yet he hasn’t had a serious girlfriend since he dated Audrey in high school.
I’m not saying that this is a bad thing - you don’t need a relationship to be happy or to have a good life - but Spencer’s given up the majority (if not all) of his adult life to take care of Carly, and a relationship is obviously something that he wants.
but I’m not here to talk about Spencer being sad at the lack of a girlfriend - no, I’m here to talk about what Spencer says right after Carly makes the above comment. and what he says is, “Well, not a steady girlfriend per se...”
do you see what I’m getting at here?
Spencer isn’t straight. that’s what I’m getting at.
now, I’m not saying that Spencer is canonically queer - this was a nickelodeon show from 2007; there’s no way they would have made it canon. but this show has a hell of a lot of subtext, and I think it’s time we break down some of it.
let’s go back to season 1.
in s01e05 (iWanna Stay With Spencer), one of Spencer’s sculptures malfunctions and almost seriously injures Carly. their granddad shows up and yells at Spencer for his carelessness, and this is where we start to see that underneath his goofy chaos, Spencer really is a responsible adult, and Carly’s safety and happiness is always his biggest priority.
I mention this episode for a lot of reasons, but firstly, holy shit - we actually get confirmation here that Spencer has been taking care of Carly for at least six years already! it’s shown that he held onto her inhaler just in case, and Carly says the last time she had an asthma attack, she was 7. Spencer’s no newbie at this whole parenting gig - he’s been doing it at least since he was 20!
besides that, I think this episode shows an important but subtle change in Spencer’s character - now, he’s increasingly aware that if he steps out of line, if he makes too many mistakes, Carly will be taken away from him. and he cannot let that happen.
in my opinion, this is where Spencer decides that he’s not going to tell Carly about the fact that he’s queer.
this would explain some of his awkwardness in 01e24 (iWin a Date). in this episode, Spencer joins an online dating service (because 2007 was a different time, and Tinder wasn’t around yet).
he sits down to record a video for his profile - shirt buttoned all the way up, hair slicked down, looking nervous and vulnerable - and he looks into the camera, introduces himself, and then says, “I enjoy people...”
that is...maybe the best description anyone could ever give of Spencer’s sexuality. I think about this scene all the time.
but what Spencer didn’t know here is that Carly was listening to him. he thought he was alone, and the second that he realized that Carly was there, he froze up and stopped talking. because he didn’t want her to know that he’s not straight.
god, it kills me.
I could go on for actual hours about this - about how Spencer must have felt, being solely responsible for his younger sister, wanting her to grow up with love and acceptance, but knowing that there are some things that he just can’t talk about without risking the life he’s built for them - but I will not, because I will cry.
instead, let’s go back to Audrey.
in the finale, this is how Spencer explains who Audrey is: “The most important girlfriend I’ve ever had - the only girl I’ve ever really been in love with.”
you see that wording? look at it. “The only girl I’ve ever really been in love with.” just like in iDo, when he said, “Well, not a steady girlfriend...”
I think those phrases are very telling. so is the part in s02e16 (iDate a Bad Boy) when Carly asks how old Spencer was when he started kissing girls. she could have asked, “How old were you when you had your first kiss?” - that would have sounded normal, but no - she said, “How old were you when you started kissing girls?”
Spencer’s not straight, and Carly knows it, and they can never talk about it.
and it’s not that Spencer’s trying to be subtle about his personality - he’s a confident, quirky guy who’s passionate about art, loves to cook (and is great at it!), and wears weird socks. He doesn’t care what anyone thinks about him rollerblading in the hallway, or saving up tickets to win a stuffed dolphin at the arcade, or doing cosplay - but when Carly walks in on his book club meeting, he gets nervous.
and maybe he was planning on telling Carly - maybe he thought that when she was old enough and there was no threat of their granddad taking her away, he could have that conversation with her.
...and then their dad showed up, and took Carly to Italy.
welp.
#icarly#icarly meta#quick somebody send an ask and I'll get started on part 3#atotaltrashmammalbro#cedar-phoenix#nanobearswarm#tinymacaroni#this one took me a while because I got too into my feelings about this#turns out I have my own shit to deal with#it's a lot to think about#long post
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Cas&Dean VS Claire&Jack
So I wrote [a small little theory] a while ago as to why I think Claire and Jack wouldn’t have been shown on screen together/have any connection throughout the show on-screen/off-screen at all. And so here I will some points as to why I think that is.
AKA here’s the long awaited essay/conspiracy theory y’all have been asking for.
First of all; let me start off by saying this is 100% meant as a joke (no it’s not) and it’s not to be taken seriously (yes it is) as it’s literally just a dumb theory (it definitely isn’t). And second; fuck the C*W for contributing to every little bit of tinhatting this fandom (especially us hellers) has succumbed to.
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Now; for this theory we have to understand a few things:
How Dean and Cas work as individuals
How Claire and Jack work as individuals
How Dean and Cas work as a duo
Let’s start with the first two things.
How Dean and Cas work as individuals
Dean Winchester is a masculine, tough but loving hunter. He cultivates a “bad-boy personality”, and makes sarcastic jokes at even the most morbid times. Underneath, though, he's become hardened by life as a warrior (as Daddy’s blunt instrument, if you will). He’s been taught to fight his father’s battles, and protect the ones he loves and cares for. But soon began to see that neither of his parents (especially his dad) did the job they were given when they had children. He didn’t just have to be a brother; he had to be a father and mother. He’s had to grow walls around him to stay strong for his little brother, but over time, after making a family for himself, it became easier to tear those walls down. However, he has his weak spots and is an emotional and loving human being through and through.
Castiel, the Angel of Thursday, is an angel of the Lord. He’s lived for aeons, and as an angel has (just like Dean) been taught to fight the battles of his creator and father. He’s a warrior, and he’s been given the job to follow the orders of said creator. Only for those orders to be thrown out the window once he meets Dean Winchester. The man who showed him that hate and anger isn’t always the true answer and that you can choose to be good. Everything that he has been taught slowly breaks away as his hard exterior crumbles, and he develops into a being with emotions, as he slowly but eventually learns to love and care for this man, and with that; humanity.
How Claire and Jack work as individuals
Claire Novak, a woman who has lead a tragic life, where she lost both her parents early on. Her father said yes to be the (permanent) vessel of an Angel, and her mother just disappeared after dropping her off to her Grandmother. After the grandmother had passed away, she was left alone. She had to fight through the world on her own, as she put a wall around herself to make herself stronger for the people around her. It took a while before she found her place in a loving family filled with strong women, who didn’t just help bring her walls down, but build a home instead.
Jack Kline is an innocent, naive but loving Nephilim. The son of the human Kelly Kline and the archangel Lucifer. He was destined for evil, as a Nephilim is one of the most powerful creatures in existence. But, with the help of his three Godfathers (heh), he learns that he doesn’t have to be evil. He can be whatever he wants to be. Controlling his powers has been hard, but no matter what happened, his mindset never changed as he grew to love the people and love the things around him. His biological father saw his power, but his chosen father saw his kind soul. Castiel believed he could create paradise, and he did, as he became the God that the universe deserved.
There are alot of parallels between Dean/Claire and Jack/Cas that can be compared to here. Let me show you a few:
So we’ve established that with Claire being Dean-coded, and Jack being Cas-coded, there could’ve definitely been potential for a cute Claire/Jack dynamic in the show. Why wouldn’t they have done that, you think? Perhaps this question can be answered when we look at thing number 3:
How Dean and Cas work as a duo
Destiel is the relationship between the hunter Dean and the angel Castiel. Castiel was ordered by God to free him from Hell, and afterwards he was supposed to do as he was told while Dean was supposed to figure out how to “stop the apocalypse” which happened to be a bunch of garbo afterwards knowing what we know now. Nonetheless, Castiel didn’t listen, as he quickly grew fond of the hunter and, because of him, developed a sense of emotion and free will. This lead to Castiel helping Dean throughout the Apocalypse, and beyond, and they’ve been best friends ever since.
There have been MULTIPLE essays on Tumblr about how this relationship works, and it would be silly of me to try and summarize stuff that hasn’t been said a million times already. But basically; What they have is quite a bit more than best friendship. It has been confirmed in 15x18, Despair, that Castiel has been in love with Dean for quite some time, as Dean’s own feelings are kind of all over the place. Nothing has been confirmed, yet nothing has been denied. But, seeing as all the insane things Dean has done for/because of/regarding Castiel... for instance:
defended his behavior to his brother and father when neither trusted him in season 6
kept his trenchcoat when he “died” in season 7, and keeping it with him in the trunk of his car(s) for the entirety of Castiel’s absence.
absolutely despises angels, and hates praying, yet he only ever prays to Castiel when he needs anything because he’s the only one he trusts
couldn’t get his mind of of him when he was possessed by Lucifer, and later taken by Amara in season 11
Has Castiel being referred to as his Colette by Cain (subtext but not really subtext because it was so incredibly obvious)
was supposed to be completely enamored by Amara and was supposed to be so hypnotizingly attracted to her that he couldn’t focus on anything else, yet he called out for Castiel’s name when it came down to it (aka the equivalent of calling out someone else’s name during sex)
keeps looking at him like that
acted like a grieving widow when Castiel died in season 13
gets down on his knees to pray to, cry for and apologize to Castiel in Purgatory when there’s millions of creatures hunting his ass
...it’s easy to say that this is more than just a “brotherly friendship” between the two. There is dialogue that would NOT have worked between Sam/Cas because it would’ve felt weird. I wonder why.
So now to get back on topic; why is it that we’ve never seen Claire and Jack on screen together?
Is it because the writers didn’t have time to put them together in any given scenario whatsoever? Is it because the writers didn’t care enough for Claire to give her some more airtime with the boys?
Or is it perhaps that if there was a possibility that they’d be on screen together, that they’d have a very similar (if not the same) connection to one another as Dean and Cas, only written as an actual little brother/big sister friendship dynamic?
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So yes, TL;DR: the actual reason that Claire and Jack never met is because they would’ve had the exact same dynamic as Dean and Cas, but in this case platonic. Which would’ve meant that the audience would’ve seen a clear difference between the Dean/Cas dynamic and Claire/Jack dynamic, and it would’ve shown that the way they’ve been writing and directing the Dean/Cas scenes is romantic.
thank you very much, and I bid thee a very good night. <3
#god this took a long time#but i got it done#:)))#does it make sense? probably probably not#either way idc i did my job#castiel#dean winchester#claire novak#jack kline#it's just obvious bc we all know that jack/claire is never gonna be romantic#so they couldn't ever write it that way#???#queerbaiting is real folks#supernatural#spn#spn meta#jensen ackles#misha collins#dean is bisexual#bi dean#gay angel of thursday#kathryn newton#alexander calvert#destiel#deancas#long post
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my thoughts on the crank palace
i touched about this a bit on twitter (@newtedison_) but i figured i would Try and touch on my points more here (spoilers obv) again, its sort of lengthy
1. im gonna start with talking about the ending because i need to get it out of the way. either i havent read the books in a while and i forgot some canon (which could very well be true, i literally forgot that Bliss was a thing) or this ending makes no sense and is (somehow) setting up for a tdc sequel? so first off, newt was shot in the Head with a Bullet and somehow didnt immediately die? i know that that can happen in real life but it just seems so unlikely that not only would he not die, but he would survive long enough for someone from WCKD to transport him back to their labs and try to revive him. and who the fuck was he talking to? did thomas get newt’s journal at some point and i just dont remember? like i said, either im forgetting stuff or this ending doesnt make sense and is setting up a sequel which...i’ll get to later
2. why was this written? like, what was the point? i understand that this wasnt going to be all sunshine and rainbows but i feel like i was reading torture porn. like, literally all that happens is newt gets tortured (which is described in detail) by WCKD soldiers, has bouts of insane-fueled rage where he KILLS MULTIPLE PEOPLE, and then he dies. ??? what did this contribute to the canon? what was this trying to accomplish? truthfully, i never really wanted a newt-POV...well, anything except for maybe those little nuggets he wrote some time ago. but even if i HAD wanted a newt-POV novella, this is not what i would have wanted. he KNOWS that newt is almost universally the most loved character in this franchise. you can tell because he constantly uses him as a way to get fans in his good graces again. so why on earth would he take that character that so many people love and write a novella where its torture porn and a descent into madness before death? i am not interested in that At All. i’ve read fics (and even written a drabble) where newt is a Crank, and those were more respectful and easier to read than tcp. the parts where newt is having bouts of the Flare were literally exhausting to read; it was described in such vivid and torturous detail that it made me sick reading it. and it didnt help that newt is a character i care a lot about. i didn’t need to know what becoming a Crank felt like. the way it was described in the other books (and even the movies) told me everything i needed to know. the way thomas and everyone found newt at the crank palace in tdc and hes described as obviously not well, but not knowing what exactly happened to him...thats good enough on its own. the mystery of what exactly newt had to endure is part of what gives his journey more emotional depth. not everything needs to be written out and explained. not every gap needs to be filled in.
3. me saying “the characterization felt off” is going to make some people roll their eyes because ‘duh, sami, the characterization will be off because he’s going insane’ to which i say...exactly. we weren’t really reading a newt-POV novella, were we? even if he isn’t past the Gone in the beginning, hes clearly not the same person we knew him as. the whole novella felt like an uncanny valley situation; i knew i was supposed to be reading about newt, but it felt like i was reading about someone else who looked like him. and that is part of what made this such a disconnect and made me lose interest at parts. not only that, but the world building and lore is inconsistent. newt makes a comment about how it used to rain in the glade, and apparently (as ive been told) that is simply not true. keisha having somehow working cell phone that magically connects her to her family also doesnt make sense. how would they have each others’ numbers? what are the odds that they BOTH found working cell phones in an apocalypse? i get that its a novella but you cant just throw something that crazy in there as a plot convenience. actually work on your plot and world building in a cohesive way, please. and another thing that doesnt make sense...
4. ...is newt finding out that sonya is his sister. if there was anything i would have wanted from a newt-pov novella, it would have been this. him finding out that not only is sonya his sister, but he already knows her post-WCKD. something that would have made this novella actually captivating, contributing something worthwhile to the canon that i would actually want to read, is if newt found out while in the crank palace that sonya was his sister; the Flare would remove that part of the Slice in his brain, and he would realize it was her. then, knowing that he couldnt go past the Gone before seeing her, he would try to find a way to get back to her. he could learn this after thomas and everyone originally see him, so it could match up with the canon. and then, by the time 250 comes along, hes lost all hope of that actually happening, and lashes out to thomas in a fit of rage. the journey of him trying to find his ACTUAL sister would have meant more to me than the story of keisha and dante. trust me, i love a found family trope as much as the next girl. but this series is FULL of the found family trope. it pretty much is the backbone of the franchise. so to see a blood family dynamic would have been a refreshing change of pace that i actually would have been interested in reading. also, the way that newt DOES find out about sonya is...underwhelming. he just randomly says “you remind me of my sister, sonya” to keisha in the WCKD truck. first of all, sonya is not the name you would actually know her by. you would know her by her birth name (which is lizzy? elizabeth?). second, why does he act like he didnt already meet her in the series? when the WCKD doctor tells him sonya is his sister and is alive, hes so surprised. wouldn’t he have known that already? why is there not more emphasis on the fact he already met her? that would have been a really interesting dynamic to explore, and im sad they didnt
5. the pacing and dialogue of tcp is so dragged out. i remember specifically there was a section where newt goes to talk to keisha after she starts abandoning dante, and i swear to god there was a page and a half of text before anything ACTUALLY happened or anyone ACTUALLY said anything. dashner described a launcher at one point as “the energy dependent electric firing projectile device.” that’s SIX words to describe a stun gun. a fucking stun gun! we know what it is! why did you have to use six words??? it just felt like everything was dragged and stretched to the longest it could possibly be and it added to the exhaustion i felt while reading it
6. okay i cant end it without talking about newtmas. its very obvious by now that newtmas is a VERY large part of this fanbase. its clearly the most popular ship and what keeps a lot of people interested in this series. even the marketing team for the MOVIES used newtmas as a advertising tactic (i.e.; using thomas and newt standing face to face as a thumbnail for the trailer, emphasizing newtmas based questions in interviews, even making a fucking facebook memories video for them. yes that last one is real). not only does dashner use newt as a way to lure fans in; he also uses newtmas. the parts that were sprinkled into this were so obvious that it didnt feel authentic. i cant speak for the original trilogy; i dont know the culture around ships back then, and i dont know how much it influenced his writing at the time. but the scenes in those books felt more genuine than tcp. by genuine i mean; he wrote scenes without a relationship in mind, but the chemistry had noticeable subtext that, while unintentional, was largely agreed upon by the larger audience. the parts of newtmas he added into tcp felt artificial and forced, likely as a way for people to take snippets of and use as a free marketing tool for him. one example you might have already seen; “he had already gotten used to his post-thomas, post-WCKD life.” the fact that dashner SPECIFICALLY used the phrase “post-thomas” rather than “post-his friends” or something similar shows that he is using newtmas as a hook on purpose. not only that, but to make newt’s last thoughts as he died “tommy. tommy will understand...” is...wow. first of all, i never wanted to know what newt’s dying thoughts were, but thanks, i guess? and second, when we all initially thought newt died underneath thomas with a gun to his head, i was pretty much inferred that newts last thoughts would probably be about thomas; they would sort of have to be, given the circumstances. so adding that in gives me the same feeling that “i’m coming for you, newt” at the end of the fever code gave me. not as offensive, but written very much on purpose. and the ending is implying that there will somehow be a sequel where thomas gets newt’s journal from...someone. at this point, i can only think that this sequel will retroactively make newtmas canon somehow. now that newt has been confirmed as gay, it could happen. which brings me to my last point...
7. hearing dashner confirm newt is gay was already mind-boggling before. now that i’ve read the crank palace...im angry. im very angry. i think its safe to say that newt is the character that suffers the most in this series. you can argue with me but hes definitely high on the list, if not #1. so; you take this character. you give him a horribly sad arc in the original trilogy, then decide to expand upon it and tell us, your largely QUEER fanbase, exactly how painful and torturous his last days were, in detail. and then you tell us he’s gay. something that is never mentioned in the canon, only in an offhanded reply to a tweet of someone calling you out. on a base level, i can understand why people would be happy. representation (i guess), seeing themselves in the character, having their headcanons be confirmed. great. but what i see is you telling your largely queer fanbase “hey, you see the only confirmed gay character? im going to literally write torture porn about him before killing him off and offer it to you like im providing a service to your community.” how fucked up is that? “hey, kids, if youre gay, you WILL be violently tortured and become violent and a danger to the ones you love. then you will die and your love will never be reciprocated.” what a message! and if he DOES end up retroactively making newtmas “canon” in some weird sequel...i will start foaming at the mouth. THIS is an example of how not all queer representation is good or genuine.
i’ve definitely forgotten some points but this is long enough already. let me know if you agree or if theres anything else you want to add! im interested in what you guys think
(8. I JUST REMEMBERED!!! if WCKD needed to study newt so bad bc sonya is his sister and is immune while he isnt, why did they let him run around the crank palace in the first place??? you cant test his vitals or anything you’re literally just watching him. what is the point????)
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30′s Strangetown - the misadventures of Nervous
Playing sims again after a long time, my aim is set Pleasantview in the 18th century, Strangetown in the 1930s (vaguely/as much as possible) I don’t care about Veronaville, maybe the apartment life one will be 1890s, and have a fantasy custom hood. Anyway I got bored just doing the makeovers and started playing the Bakers, Beakers? I think its Bakers. That’s why their weird castle house doesn’t yet look like the Frank Lloyd Wright designed classic I aspire for it to be. But here’s some of the game wooo! (the pics still have the pause border cause I’m lazy).
There is some surface level talk of Nervous Subject trauma below.
Here’s Nervous and Loki. Nervous is sad cause he lost a fight with Loki apparently.
This is my attempt to maintain some of Nervous’ punk look in a 30-ish setting.
Nervous deserves only good things. I will take you out of this place soon I promise.
Circe comes home and plays catch with Loki which only consists of them just chucking the ball right into each other’s faces over and over again.
… which they enjoy. And that seems very on brand for them.
Roaches!
The paper girl is pretty and has the best eyebrows.
Good for Abhijeet? They don’t even go here.
So I had kind of planned a redo of what I did when I first played the game when I was around 12 which is to get Nervous and Pascal together, cause I think that’d be sweet. However that was before I had things like ACR and chemistry and traits to complicate things, all I had to do then was direct one of them to flirt with the other and as long as they had a high enough relationship score they would fall in love. Now I’m a grown up I want things to be autonomous and seem like it was their choice but also do what I want them to do - is this what being a god feels like? Anyway if they don’t have chemistry I won’t force it. Nervous did turn out to be gay though without my interference so all I can say is that 12 year old me called it.
I have Nervous use the (modded) crystal ball to find a date. Pascal isn’t listed so I pick this guy, cause look at his hipster facial hair that’s gotta be respected. And maybe being with an older, wiser guy could be good for Nervous, they have two bolts of chemistry, now they just need to flirt and…
Nervous slapped him :/ and he slapped back. Ok. Ok. This is my first time playing with traits, and I did give Nervous a few antisocial ones like, brooding and unstable cause yeah he’s actually a sweet boy underneath that but he’s got a lot of trauma and probably a lot of trust issues, so he’s not easily going to be able to form nice, healthy relationships if we’re being real here. I don’t know if this was caused by the traits or his personality/low aspiration though. But it’s just one negative interaction, maybe they can move past this and…
For reasons that can best be described as underlying sexual tension Nervous attacks him. Nervous wins. You beat up an old guy, well done.
But then behold! Pre-30s makeover Pascal walks by. I gave Nervous the servant trait by mortia (which I think will be more useful in my other hoods) cause I figured Loki and Circe would treat him as such, and so he greets Pascal like this. greetings here
Nervous seems to be neutral to Pascal chemistry-wise, but I think Pascal might feel differently cause he decides to flirt with Nervous! And it goes well. But then instead of continuing to flirt Nervous goes off to keep beating up that other guy, and Pascal goes and reads a book, stick with what you know I guess.
Oh Nervous is also a kleptomaniac (I figure he doesn’t get to hang onto much of his own stuff and so compulsively takes from others when he has the chance in an attempt to have control over something in his life – am I, am I making this too sad?) So he decides to steal from hipster grandad.
Look at his poor frightened face.
If you’re wondering where Circe is here she is enjoying the violence of a Nervous/hipster Grandad fight. Her 30’s makeover is my favourite so far, by far.
Then her and Nervous decide to slap each other, she gets a relationship increase from it and becomes best friends, and still cries about it.
Then Nervous decides to fight the fitter, healthier Circe and unsurprisingly loses.
A. No he didn’t. B. It’s not night. C. You spent the whole time reading when you could have slept anywhere there are inexplicably three beds in this house. D. Is this really about something else? What were you hoping would happen? Is there subtext to this Pascal? And E. Nervous seems to fear being rejected for a flirt by Pascal… interesting.
That’s all for now. I think I will go to Pascal’s house next but when that will be I don’t know, this is all very infrequent and random. Bye.
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#sims 2#30s strangtown#nervous subject#circe beaker#loki beaker#it is beaker#pascal curious#nervous is gay#everyone is gay#except some of them#pascal is bi#nervous subject trauma#strangetown#1930s sims 2#hipster grandad sim
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Hello I see that your ask is open. I imagine from what I've seen that you know and like the Tennant Richard II and I only recently experienced it (had it forever but the Tenaissance is upon us at the heels of Good Omens) and I would like to invite you to share any feels or flails or complexities you might have in terms of the relationship of Shakespeare to History or Kingship to Divinity or the conflation of Queerness with Otherness etc in the context of that performance
OH NO. YOU REALLY WANT ME TO GO THERE DO YOU.
First of all: yes, the Tennant Richard II changed my life, after I watched it with @oldshrewsburyian whilst on vacation at the start of June and had to yell at her about my feelings for like ten minutes afterward. I was just SO FASCINATED by the things it did with gender and kingship and queerness (god! It was SO GAY! I was NOT PREPARED! The kiss with Aumerle broke my brain the first time I saw it). I was compiling a preliminary bibliography for my new queer medieval book project a couple weeks ago (which is very interesting, if I do say so myself, and I am really trying to get someone to give me money to research it at their institution) and I discovered an article basically arguing that the RSC Richard II was bad because Richard was portrayed as effeminate and openly queer/bi. Now, to be mostly fair, I think it was because it wanted to critique the association of queer men with effeminacy, rather than being homophobic, but it was still…. a bad take? Or at least a substantially underdeveloped one. It never said why this was bad, it never really got into the gender politics of what it wanted to say about this performance and the queerness thereof, and I was left looking at it like… uh huh, so… what’s your point here pal? (It griped about Gregory Dolan changing the script to have Aumerle kill Richard, but given as every Shakespeare play alters the script or staging or whatever else, I was still waiting for it to say something more about that too. But no. Anyway).
My feelings about Shakespeare, queerness, and queer Shakespeare have recently been noted. I have been working my way through Shakesqueer, which is undoubtedly fascinating, though as a historian I sometimes find all this theoretical vagueness a little TOO broad and am like DEFINE SOMETHING AND SAY SOMETHING ABOUT IT RATHER THAN SAYING THAT YOU CAN’T SAY SOMETHING. But that’s a personal methodological thing on my part, and it certainly has been delightfully helpful in pointing out how none of Shakespeare’s plays are in the least Straight ™ by modern standards, even if technically none of his characters are LGBT. Obviously, they would not be constructed as such by sixteenth-century terms, but that’s another debate. He absolutely left the exact interpretative space that many productions have taken advantage of, some plays are VERY heavy on the subtext, and while critics have argued that the gender subversion and sexual fluidity is introduced only to re-establish heteronormative supremacy at the end, I think that is a fairly shallow reading. Why otherwise HAVE it so consistently, when its negotiation and presence is part of the ways in which these characters can and often have been read? Just because everyone gets married at the end of the comedies doesn’t mean that the queerness has been negated or made irrelevant. Arguably, the opposite.
Anyway, one of my main contentions in this premodern queer lives book project that I’m developing is that when we read the past as queer, we have to take care that we’re not only considering it as thus in comparison to modern heteronormativity, which we consider to be monolithic and transhistorical and applicable to all times and places. Richard Zeikowitz (among others) has made this point in Homoeroticism and Chivalry: Discourses of Male Same-Sex Desire in the 14th Century. Male desire that we would consider “queer” either in its affection or formulation was solidly mainstream, and if we read that as Queer/Other, we risk imposing an estrangement on medieval/early modern queerness that may not have necessarily existed within its community. Yes, we’re all aware of the anti-sodomitical polemics of clerical writers, but consider: why did those guys (the equivalent of right-wing religious commentators today) keep having to write things complaining about it if nobody was doing it, if it wasn’t visible or accepted at all in society, or it was only a theoretical concern that had no relevance to anyone’s daily lives? This is why it drives me so batty when the Straight Historians inevitably try the “just because it was being written about doesn’t mean anyone was doing it!!!” erasure tactic. My dude my guys my pals. How do you think rhetoric even works?
In the particular case of Richard II, there was absolutely a queer discourse/suspicion of queerness around him in his own time (see Sylvia Federico, ‘Queer Times: Richard II in thePoems and Chronicles of Late Fourteenth-Century England’) and it was part of a larger late-medieval discourse of suspected sodomy around kings and their favourites, not just in England but in other places across Europe. (Henric Bagerius and Christine Ekholst, ‘Kingsand Favourites: Politics and Sexuality in Late Medieval Europe’, and E. Amanda McVitty also talks about Richard, his favourites, chivalric masculinity and homosociality in ‘False Knights and True Men: Contesting ChivalricMasculinity in English Treason Trials, 1388–1415′). So…. yes, there is considerable leeway to depict him as queer, and Shakespeare does write it in the text in the scene where Bushy and Green are accused, prior to their execution by Bolingbroke:
You have misled a prince, a royal king,A happy gentleman in blood and lineaments,By you unhappied and disfigured clean:You have in manner with your sinful hoursMade a divorce betwixt his queen and him,Broke the possession of a royal bedAnd stain’d the beauty of a fair queen’s cheeksWith tears drawn from her eyes by your foul wrongs.
“Made a divorce betwixt his queen and him/Broke the possession of a royal bed.” Yeah, they’re Richard’s boyfriends. Both we and the Elizabethan audience would have understood it that way. Bushy, Bagot, and Green are fictional, but Robert de Vere, duke of Ireland, was Richard’s real-life favourite and was accused by Thomas Walsingham at least of sleeping with him or otherwise having some taint of an “obscene relationship”. But Richard was also notably devoted to his first wife, Anne of Bohemia, so as ever, bisexuality exists, my pals. It can go both ways.
….anyway, this swiftly got away from me, so in conclusion, let me relate an actual dream I had last night, for which we can 100% blame the heat. In it, I was watching some Shakespeare play or other, and there was a scene in which the villain dramatically pushed the blonde heroine into the arms of his muscle-bound henchmen in their flowing trousers, then turned to the hero and announced that he would do the same to him. To this, in what was supposed to probably be a defiant “you just try it” moment in other versions of fictional Shakespeare plays that my subconscious writes, the hero stared him dead in the eye, whisked his tunic off to reveal he was wearing nothing but a jeweled G-string underneath, and announced that lo, NOW HE WAS PREPARED. DO THY WORST.
I can only think that this is exactly what Shakespeare would have wanted.
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What is it about Hannibal (the show + person) and his relationship with will that you absolutely love about? They do seem like an interesting couple (I haven’t seen the movie so I cannot relate much) but what about them? I genuinely curious and am interested with your thoughts and opinions.
Hi Anon!! This is a really big question, but I’ll do my best to answer it. I’m definitely gonna put most of this under a cut, because it got really, really long.
First of all, the relationship that I love in regards to the Will//Hannibal dynamic comes from the TV show Hannibal, which was written by Bryan Fuller and ran on NBC from 2013-2015. It was an extraordinarily unique and in-depth take on the Hannibal Lecter and Will Graham friendship that was based on the books, insofar that Will Graham was one of the few who deeply understood Hannibal Lecter prior to the revelation that he was a cannibal. Of course, Bryan took that concept several steps further.
My first suggestion? If you can stomach any kind of horror or gore, watch Hannibal. It is without a doubt the best television show I’ve ever seen, if only because it is visually beautiful, every character is complex and has clearly outlined motivations of their own, and is a really deeply intellectual piece of media. It’s not an easy watch, and I don’t mean that because of content. The story itself, the character drives, even the dialogue will challenge you. It’s not something you just sit down and understand, it really did take a lot of work for me to grasp the full spectrum of what was going on at any given time during my first watch. I’d never encountered something that pushed me that hard before, and even with a week between episodes or more (since I watched when it was originally airing), I was often left like ?????. Think of it like Black Mirror, except every episode is tied together. It’s gonna screw with you a little, so you’ll want to be prepared.
The thing other than the fantastic writing that brings this show and these characters to life: the actors. Mads Mikkelsen as Hannibal Lecter presents a character that you better not take your eyes off even once. Hannibal says things so smoothly and with such conviction, but it’s only if you watch his face at all times that you will see the micro-expressions of what he is actually thinking and feeling. There’s a reason he’s often referred to as the Devil, as smoke.
Hugh Dancy as Will Graham presents a man who is haunted by his own desires from empathizing too closely with killers. He can feel what murderers feel, and that gives him a unique perspective. He puts himself inside their minds to recreate their thought processes as they kill, and that gets to him. It haunts him, and sticks with him. It puts him in the position of needing someone to help him find his way back to himself when he gets in too deep.
It’s such a unique dynamic. I really couldn’t tear myself away. And that’s only where their story begins.
It starts as a sense of curiosity. Hannibal by nature and necessity is a solitary creature, and he has been pretty damn happy that way. When Jack Crawford asks him to profile Will Graham and clear him for field work, it is a unique opportunity for him as an already-established killer to see inside the workings of the FBI. That’s advantageous for him, of course. He can then keep tabs on the investigation against him. But in the process, he discovers Will, who thinks like a killer. Will, who has forcibly shoved his own personality into a very safe box of isolation and rescued dogs and fly fishing, things that require control and perfection. Will uses these constructs as shields to keep the darkness inside him at bay. He absorbs killers to gain their insights, but once they are inside, he has a really hard time getting rid of them.
It may seem backwards, but despite Hannibal meeting other killers who are very much like him, he ultimately rejects them because he doesn’t want someone exactly like himself. He wants Will because he is so incredibly human, but trying so hard to restrain his own darkness. What Hannibal wants above all is to set him free, come hell or high water. And fundamental transformations can be exquisitely painful, even in their beauty. Hannibal wants to see what will happen.
The Hannibal/Will relationship doesn’t stay stagnant, ever. There is a constantly shifting dynamic of power once we reach S2 and Will is aware of Hannibal’s nature. Will puts himself in a position to learn more about Hannibal, and in doing so, finds himself feeling the pull that Hannibal described, discovering the ways in which they are so alike. And the tension in these scenes is indescribable. If you’ve seen any of the gifsets I’ve reblogged, you’ll know what I’m talking about. Every molecule of space between them is charged with intent. Every word is carefully weighted. Every glance is measured to not be too soon or too late, hoping to glimpse beneath the other’s veneer of civility and see the creature inside. They are so cruel to each other as they learn one another, but in their cruelty, they push each other to higher heights, and the friendship never quite fractures.
In a word, they get close. There are moments standing in firelight and shadow, genuine smiles shared, tension that builds and grows until every inch of darkness between them is thick with it. Flirtatious glances. Familiar, intimate touches that hold such rich subtext. They understand each other like no one else does. They stand on the very edge of becoming something more, becoming family, when everything collapses, and they are both devastated by it.
Their relationship is the very definition of “can’t live with him, can’t live without him”. They are described by others as being “identically different”, as being “nakama [friends, but more like… family. like a group of people tied together by life and circumstance who would not easily be broken apart]”.
Hannibal’s revelation of love for Will Graham comes in their separation. It hits him like a train, to be honest. It’s the first time the viewer realizes that underneath the very polite and elegant and put-together man that covers the vicious killer, he really does crave companionship. Even in his solitary life, Hannibal has never been actually solitary. He fills the gaps in with friends and acquaintances, people he cares for to an extent, but mostly people he uses for their advantageous nature. Will is the first person who really sees Hannibal down to his bones, and the loss of him, and the loss of their mutual potential, deeply wounds him.
Like. I can’t even fully explain all the things about these characters that get to me. I think the thing I like most is that, even as a serial killer, Hannibal is still so very human. He finds pleasure in art and architecture. He enjoys history and philosophy and educational pursuits. He’s a talented artist and musician and chef. He gets annoyed by rude people the same as the rest of us. The main difference is that he eats them.
This show is visceral. It’s a game of cat and mouse, a chessboard of intellectual bad decisions, but every choice is born from emotional need. And the best thing about it is that Bryan Fuller fully accepts, welcomes, and acknowledges the love between Hannibal and Will canonically in the show. Not just “haha that’s gay” jokes. Everyone else can see it. Everyone has some sort of parting shot about it. But in the end, even Will is faced with the point-blank realization that, yes, Hannibal is in love with him, and has the question turned back on him: but do you ache for him?
By the end, there is no doubt that the call has been heard, and the draw between them culminates in what Hannibal has really desired all along: he and Will hunting together, fighting together. Achilles and Patroclus, as they have been described by Hannibal himself.
This show is a masterpiece, honestly. It unfolds the confines of civility and sees predators set free. It sees them together, reunited. It sees them in love. It sees them from beginning to end, where even the end is not really the end.
I dearly, desperately hope for a season four of this show. I’m comforted by the fact that all the writers, producers, and actors have voiced their support of doing so, if they can find a production company to pick them up and get the rights of the other Hannibal characters [re: SotL] the way Bryan desires.
The fandom is incredible. Everyone is a little bit older than my prior fandoms, and people tend to be well-seasoned to the concept of reading what they enjoy and silently passing over things that are not to their tastes. There’s… not really any fighting the way there is in other fandoms. Those who disagree have civilized discussions, because the first and foremost rule of the fandom is the first and foremost rule of understanding Hannibal Lecter: “Whenever possible, one should always try to eat the rude.”
And the fandom is alive!! It’s actively creating new art and new gifsets and new fics and new everything every day, and not on a small scale, either. There are thousands of people still out here eagerly awaiting the revival of a truly groundbreaking show that showcased LGBT relationships (not just Hannibal and Will, mind you. Margot/Alana is real and alive and nourishes my soul to this day), a diverse cast, riveting and powerful female characters, and the kind of plotline and visual storytelling that the ancients would weep if they could see.
TLDR: I love this fandom. I love these characters. I love these monsters, and I see myself inside them in ways that is absolutely concerning to polite society. I love the imagery, the depth of morality. I love that it’s feasible for me to write a fic in which the characters can love each other and are constantly working around one another to achieve their own ends, and that every fic I read by everyone else has a different insight to their relationship. That every fic I read is a fucking masterpiece, seriously, oh my god, the quality of fiction in this fandom is so high, it’s amazing.
Join us, Anon. The Atlantic is a little chilly this time of year, but you’ll get used to it, I promise.
#hannibal nbc#hannibal#hannigram#luc replies#Anonymous#long post#meta#i hope this helps anon i just. really love them. i cannot even fully describe but i tried!!!
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I’ve seen this 5SOS ask meme floating around a few times and I don’t do ask memes but I do love me a questionnaire so I decided to just fill it out, not that anyone else will care.
1. When did you first find out about 5sos?
The first time I remember hearing one of their songs was in 2016, but they didn’t properly come onto my radar until early 2018. I know, I know. I was super late to the party.
2. How did you find out about them?
In February/March of 2018 they were guests on the BBC Radio 1 Breakfast Show, which I listened to because I liked the host, even though I live on literally the other side of the world. I wasn’t familiar with the band at that point, beyond Want You Back, which had been on the radio pretty much every single day, and which I actually really liked. But hearing their interview made me want to look them up and find out more about them. And now I’m here, 8 months later, filling out a 50-question ask meme because apparently I have nothing better to do with my time.
3. What was the first song you heard by them?
She Looks So Perfect, in 2016.
4. Have you ever seen them live?
Yes, in Melbourne for the Meet You There tour. They were great and I would definitely see them again.
5. Have you ever met any of them?
Nope.
6. Who was your fave when you first started to like them? Are they still your fave now?
Ashton has been my fave from the beginning, and he still is now, but I like them all for their own reasons.
7. What is your favorite 5sos song?
Ghost of You.
8. What are your favorite lyrics?
I’ve got a jet black heart and there’s a hurricane underneath it – Jet Black Heart
9. What is your favorite music video?
I don’t really watch the videos much but I think Valentine is the most creative and visually interesting.
10. What is your favorite cover?
As in, song they’ve covered? No Roots, which they did in the BBC Radio 1 Live Lounge. I made it my ringtone I love it so much. Their cover of Stay for Spotify is fantastic too, though.
11. What is your favorite album/EP?
Youngblood.
12. What is your favorite bromance?
Probably Cashton.
13. What is your favorite livestream/twitcam/keek/interview /etc?
The Zach Sang interview they did in early 2018 is probably the one I’ve watched the most. It’s actually what turned my vague interest into proper obsession.
14. What is your favorite hair color on Michael?
Most of the colours were before my time but I am partial to his galaxy hair.
15. What is your favorite thing each of them has tweeted?
I don’t have fave tweets, but Ashton’s twitter in general is just a place of positivity and love, and I appreciate that.
16. How many of their albums/EPs do you own?
I own all three albums and various songs from the EPs, but none of the EPs in full.
17. Do you have any 5sos merch?
OMG, yes. Too much, considering I’ve only been a fan for 8 months. I think I’ve got 5 t-shirts, plus one more coming, a long-sleeve, a hoodie, the signed Youngblood litho (which I framed), three other posters (one signed – also framed) and the book. Yes, I bought the book, even though it precedes my time in the fandom by about 4 years. There might be other bits and pieces that I’ve forgotten about, but you get the gist.
18. Do you have any 5sos posters on your walls?
Yes, four. See above.
19. When they come on in the car/store/etc, what do you do?
I’ve never heard them in stores, but when they come on the radio I always cheer and get stupidly excited.
20. Who in the band do you think you’re most like and why?
Probably Michael. He likes cats, he’s a gamer, he seems more introverted than the others – all things that I definitely relate to.
21. Who do you think you’d get along with the most? What about the least?
I think Michael is either the one I’d get along with the best or the least. We’d either be too similar in a good way or a bad way.
22. If you could ask them each one question right now, what would you ask?
I’d like to ask Luke if he thinks he was too young when he got into all this. Personally I think he was, and I think we’ve seen the consequences of that, but I’d like to hear his thoughts on it.
I’d probably ask Ashton what his favourite cocktail is.
I’d probably ask Michael something gaming related.
I’m not sure what I’d ask Calum. He’s always been the one I relate to the least, so he’s a bit of an enigma to me.
23. What was you first impression of each of them?
I thought they were all generally pretty funny, but I actually thought at first that Ashton and Michael didn’t like each other. I think I just got a string of interviews and appearances where Ashton was particularly talkative and Michael was particularly quiet, and there seemed to be a lack of eye contact between them. I’ve since watched all these interviews again and I definitely see them differently and I pick up on more of the subtext now, but I was kind of confused initially.
24. How do you feel about the blonde in Calum’s hair?
Again, before my time, but I’m pretty indifferent.
25. How do you feel about the length of Ashton’s hair?
I prefer it short and I love the curls, but whatever he’s happy with is fine with me.
26. If you were trapped on a deserted island and could only bring one member with you, who would it be and why?
Probably Ashton. He seems like he’s got a good head on his shoulders, so he could potentially do something about getting us off the island, but he also likes to have a good time, so I think he could make our time there enjoyable, even as I was growing more and more dehydrated and sunburnt.
27. If you could switch everyone’s instruments, who would play what?
I love Ashton on guitar. It just does something to me. Also, that video of him on guitar when they did Teenage Dream? That was so cute? He was bouncing all over the stage, having the time of his life.
As for the others: Luke on bass, Michael on drums and I guess that leaves Calum with the other guitar.
28. Which Don’t Stop superhero would you prefer to be rescued by and why?
They all look pretty horrendous, but I think I’d laugh the least if I was in a bind and Mike-Ro-Wave showed up.
29. What is one song you really want the band to do a cover of?
I’d love them to do a country song with Ash on vocals, but that’s the most I’ve thought about it.
30. If you had 48 hours with your fave what would you guys do?
Oh god, I don’t know. It would definitely involve Ash and an acoustic guitar. I think I’d really just like him to take me to all his favourite places in LA and hang out with him and listen to him talk. I reckon 48 hours with Ashton would be the most fun and exhausting and exhilarating 48 hours of my life, but I’d be up for it.
31. If your fave were to propose to you right now, would you say yes? How would you want him to do it?
Well, it would depend on if this proposal were just out of the blue or if we’d been in some kind of serious relationship first. If the latter, then yes, probably. As for how: I feel like Ashton is the kind of person who would either go really big, super over the top with a proposal, or be really, really low key and just kind of ask at home while you’re doing something really normal and boring. Either would be fine with me.
32. If you could rename the band, what would you name them?
Luke and the Penguins? That’s literally the first thing I thought of. I’ve never thought about this before in my life. Seriously, though, I like that they seem to have embraced ‘5SOS’ as an identity, rather than just an abbreviation. ‘5 Seconds of Summer’ feels very much of its time and feels out of place in the current music world. ‘5SOS’ feels more true to who they are now.
33. What is your favorite thing about each of them?
I love the tongue thing Luke does. You know what I’m talking about.
I love Ashton’s sense of humour and his passion.
I love how Calum thinks Ashton is the funniest person alive.
I love how excited Michael gets about really nerdy things.
34. If you could change one thing about each of them what would you change?
I’d change Calum’s smoking habit, because it’s unhealthy and I worry for him, but other than that I wouldn’t change anything. They are who they are because of the choices they’ve made, good and bad.
35. What 5 words would you use to describe each of them?
Ashton: funny, passionate, driven, focused, storyteller
Luke: rockstar, vulnerable, electric, dorky, angel
Michael: adorable, quiet, genuine, caring, sweet
Calum: underrated (musically), solid, reliable, thoughtful, dedicated
36. If you could be the lead role in any 5sos music video, existing or not, what song would it be for?
Maybe Talk Fast?
37. If you could steal one thing from each of them (clothes, hats, etc) what would you take?
Ashton’s leather jacket, Luke’s black boots, Calum’s green hoodie and Michael’s necklace (that really long one he always wears).
38. If you were sharing headphones with your fave what song would you put on first?
Worry ‘Bout Nothin’ by Keith Urban.
39. Would you rather meet 4/4 but never get to see them live or see them live but never get to meet any of them?
See them live but never meet them. I’ve only been to one of their shows, but it was amazing and so fun. Plus, if I met them they’d forget about me pretty quickly because they meet fans all the time. If I can’t be special enough to remember, I’d rather have the full experience of a show than a quick hug and photo.
40. Would you rather catch Luke’s guitar pick or Ashton’s drum stick?
I’m an Ashton girl so definitely the drum stick.
41. Would you rather never be able to sing one of their songs again or never watch any of their music videos again?
Never watch their music videos. I don’t watch them much anyway, and half the fun of loving a band is getting to sing along. Honestly, one of the moments I’ve ever felt most alive was singing along to Jet Black Heart with thousands of other people at the MYT show.
42. Would you rather be brought on stage for an entire song or meet only 2 of them in public?
Probably meet 2 of them in public? I think I’d feel super awkward being on stage for an entire song. Everyone would be staring! I wouldn’t know what to do with my hands! Plus Ash would be behind the drums on stage and, therefore, unreachable. At least in public I’ve got a chance for a hug.
43. Would you rather play video games with Michael or go on a road trip with Ashton?
That’s super hard, because I’m a gamer but Ash is my fave. Hmmm… Probably road trip with Ashton, because that’s not something I would normally do anyway, and there would be plenty of time for talking and rocking out to whatever playlist he loads up.
44. Would you rather have Calum give you a tattoo or Luke give you a haircut?
I have more faith in Calum’s tattooing skills than Luke’s haircutting skills, so let’s go with the tattoo.
45. Would you rather date your fave but have the others dislike you or be friends with all of them but not be able to date/hookup with/kiss any of them?
Be friends with all of them. Definitely. I’m not sure dating them would be much fun anyway, in reality. They’d always be gone or going away. And they just seem like the kind of people you would want to be friends with.
46. Would you rather sing a duet with Luke or write a song with Calum?
Sing with Luke. More fun. Plus I’m already getting that tattoo from Calum.
47. Would you rather go to the fair with Malum or go stargazing with Lashton?
Stargazing with Lashton.
48. Would you rather touch Calum’s butt or Ashton’s biceps?
Ashton’s biceps. I am a girl who loves a nice set of arms, and Ashton’s are very nice.
49. Would you rather get high with Michael or drunk with Calum?
Drunk with Calum, but only because I’m not into taking drugs.
50. Would you rather have Luke give you his 'You Complete Mess' shirt or have Michael give you his denim jacket?
Michael’s denim jacket.
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i just realized i never made it through tfol australia movie because it was like.. not the best. im really sad at the last season of it :(
okay, i’m gonna be honest with you. i have not watched the australia movie in is entirety. i’ve only watched the parts with jo and blair - altho i actually really enjoyed what i saw of them. i mean it’s def super campy (per the nature of tfol), but the whole subplot of jo and blair trying to figure out who’s a jewel thief and who’s a cop reminded me of scooby doo (esPECIALLY THE CHASE SCENE!!! god i love that scene so much. tbh watching blair run is reason enough to watch this movie bc she’S AWFUL AND SHE LOSES HER SHOE?? BUT IT’S STILL THERE WHEN THEY COME BACK OUT??? love it) anyways, maybe try just watching their parts if you wanna give it a shot again (not that u need to!!! to each their own! i mean i fully acknowledge that it’s not what’s considered to be ~quality~ entertainment, and so i think it’s important to go in with the mindset of ‘okay this is a cheesy made for tv movie from the 80s for a tv show that was successful but not critically acclaimed’ it’s key to go in with the right mindset. this isn’t oscar awards stuff)
and okay i have some big thoughts about the last season, but i won’t try to say them all here. i’m biased towards the later seasons bc that’s what i watched first when it came to tfol. my experience of these characters is very different from a lot of other people who started with the eastland years. there’s a lot of stuff that i love about the last season. i love the episodes centered around blair. i mean im definitely biased towards her (clearly), and season 9 gave her a lot of really wonderful moments from her og elle woods stuff in “rumor has it” and “peekskill law” to when she revealed part of why she is the way she is in “less than perfect.” it’s just a great season for blair as a character. there are also some great jo and blair moments in season 9, and i love how you can see the maturity of the relationship between them. if you watch stuff keeping gay subtext in mind, there’s some really interesting analysis that can be done.
and im gonan be honest again and fully admit to skipping through all the andy and pippa stuff. i honestly didnt care enough about them, and *shrug emoji* (i mean i love them but also…) see, with tfol, the one good thing about them not being as consistent with plot stuff from episode to episode is that you can jump around if you want without being too lost. like tbh, you dont need to watch the main plot of an ep in order to watch a subplot and vice versa. like in “a house divided” there’s a plot with tootie and nat and their bfs, but then there’s also a subplot with jo and blair. and tbhhh i havent watched the tootie and nat plot. i’ve jsut watched the jo and blair plot from that ep and it’s great! i love it! also blair looks so good in that ep js. but anyways, my point is, you don’t have to take everything from tfol. you can pick and choose. just wanna watch jo and blair stuff?? hell yeah. wanna watch andy and pippa shit?? okay why not?? you just do you, my friend
also “down and out in malibu (part 1)” has some great jo and blair moments and it also has blair’s BEST look out of the whole show
i will say, i know it’s hard for a lot of people to watch season 9 bc of how jo is, and i mean, at her core, jo is still very much the same person in the sense that she’s still intensely loyal, has a strong sense of integrity, is all around a decent and good human being. you know those key jo traits?? like yeah, she’s not trampling around in plaid and boots like the jo we know and love, but she’s still the same person underneath it all. i admit though, the stuff with rick is gross, but can also be rationalized. honestly, it’s a lot easier to watch jo in season 9 if you do some psychoanalyzing about why she’s wearing stuff she wouldn’t before, why she marries rick (it will always be interesting how she doesn’t say “yes” right away. she says “maybe” and only later says yes after he bugs her and there’s so much to talk about here but i wont bc i’ve already said so much), etc. tbh, it makes it easier if you keep in mind that she’s gay but just doesn’t realize it yet. it’s like all this stuff in season 9 is her kind of freaking out subconsciously, living life how she thinks she’s expected to, before she fully accepts who she really is
and im gonna stop talking nowslkjdhfasf this got so much longer than i think either of us expected, anon. i’m so sorry the last season makes you sad. it’s definitely not an ideal last season by any means, but i hope my explanation helped even a little?? idksdlhfkasjdf
please keep in mind i wrote this at 3am and i am very sleepy and tired and got rambly and i apologize if this doesn’t make sense
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Monthly Wrap Up || October 2017
Henry IV, Part 2 by William Shakespeare || Henry V by William Shakespeare || The Winter’s Tale by William Shakespeare || A Midsummer Night’s Dream by William Shakespeare || Julius Caesar by William Shakespeare || As You Like It by William Shakespeare || Hamlet by William Shakespeare || Instrucciones para salvar el mundo by Rosa Montero || Kudottujen kujien kaupunki by Emmi Itäranta || Brokeback Mountain: Story to Screenplay by Annie Proux, Larry McMurtry and Diana Ossana || Wuthering Heights by Emily Brontë || The Gap of Time: The Winter’s Tale retold by Jeanette Winterson || Puhdistus by Sofi Oksanen
Henry IV, Part 2 by William Shakespeare
Disease, darkness, decay. 2 Henry IV is a sequel and it shows tbh. It’s boring, Prince Hal is obnoxious, there is not a thing in this play I much care for. The prologue is alright.
Henry V by William Shakespeare
Henry V continues and -- thankfully -- ends the story in the Henriad. Like 2 Henry IV, I didn’t enjoy this one either. I mean, it’s a fine play (and tetralogy) about war, kingship, honour, patriotism, etc., except that that’s precisely the problem. All of that presented as it is in the play(s) is directly opposite to my own values and morals. I don’t think it’s honourable that king Henry V wants to wage war with France only because of some titles and dukedoms to add to his name/”imperium” (+ to distract the populace with external unrest away from civil unrest) or that he threatens French towns with rape and pillaging if they don’t let them in so he can have them surrender “peacefully”, and that’s all supposed to make him out to be this great, amazing king because “band of brothers! we happy few! he totally gets down with the lowly commoners! wooo”, like, no thanks.
The entire concept of these plays is to bump up English/British nationalism/patriotism and be a reminder of these “”””glorious””” things done in the past “under God’s will”. lmao. It’s jingoistic propaganda and that doesn’t interest me.
The Winter’s Tale by William Shakespeare
Now, The Winter’s Tale is a severely underappreciated Shakespeare play imo. There are not sufficient words to explain how much I loved reading this play!
The Winter’s Tale is a lovely tragedy-that-turns-to-comedy about jealousy, family, time, redemption, rebirth, healing, and hope in the middle of darkness. There are some real kickass female characters (Pauline! what a woman! i love her! and Hermione, who is Great™), one of the most famous stage directions of all time (”Exit, pursued by a bear”), queer subtext, cute romance, and one of the most beautiful scenes in Shakespeare (that last scene with the “statue” Hermione, damn!).
A Midsummer Night’s Dream by William Shakespeare
This was actually my second reread of this play this year, I already reread it back in March. But because I recently bought the beautiful Arden edition of the play, I just needed to reread it once more. And I’m glad! This is one of my favourite Shakespeare plays (hence why I bought the separate edition). I love the whimsy, the fairies, and the aesthetic, but I also really appreciate the plot, the running away into the woods and all the love-magic shenanigans.
I greatly enjoyed the Third Series Arden edition’s emphasis on the theatrical staging history across the world. It was very interesting to read about (also: wtf I didn’t know there’s a history of female!Oberons, that’s my new favourite interpretations at the mo, so yess, thanks). The entire Introduction was top-notch and I found much to think about; my favourite things is how the play has very much a dreamlike quality with many alarming things bubbling underneath the surface that are never quite brought into focus and problematised.
Julius Caesar by William Shakespeare
Holy moral ambiguity and manipulation, y’all! There’s no clear villain in this play, everyone’s a bit sketchy, and the central theme is of political rivalry and machinations. My favourite thing about Julius Caesar (and other plays like this) are the many layers, like when you consider the historical time depicted in the play, the context of Shakespeare’s time when the play was written in, and also the context of present time when I myself am reading this play.
I ended up liking this play much more than I expected to, and I’m looking forward to reading it again in the future (and seeing some great adaptations in the meantime!).
As You Like It by William Shakespeare
As You Like It is a wonderful pastoral (romantic) comedy that both brings the pastoral to life and parodies/critiques it. It’s absolutely charming and also very queer (thereby claiming it’s place on my list of fave Shakespeare plays pretty much automatically). It’s also the play with the female character who has the most lines out of all Shakespeare’s female characters (woop!). The characters are what really make this play for me: Rosalind, Celia, Orlando, Jaques, I love them so much, and I might even go so far as to say I even enjoy Touchstone.
Hamlet by William Shakespeare
I have to admit: this was my first time reading Hamlet, I haven’t seen a movie or stage adaptation of it, and, going into the play, I only had a very general idea what it was about (along the lines of “there’s a Danish prince called Hamlet, it’s a tragedy, people die”) and I knew a handful of quotes out of context.
That said, like for many others, my experience of reading Hamlet was that of recognition. I kept encountering quotes I knew and it proved super interesting to finally get the full context for them. I find Hamlet an intriguing play, (especially philosophically, psychologically and metatheatrically speaking) and I’m looking forward to seeing some stage/movie adaptations of it.
Instrucciones para salvar el mundo by Rosa Montero
Instrucciones para salvar el mundo is a milestone book for me: it’s the first book I’ve ever read in Spanish. Sadly, I can’t whole-heartedly recommend it for others. I like it... I think??
The problem I have with the book isn’t that it’s bad, it’s that I feel like I really love the theme and the central concept of the book so much -- there’s beauty in life, sometimes you don’t even realise how privileged you are and how much you have, how much life in itself is worth until you’re staring death in the face, that these darkness in the world but also so much goodness and beauty and happiness -- BUT something about the execution was just lacking. The characters felt a little bit too much like stereotypes (the two boring white male protags, one of whose wife is death so he’s grieving and the other who is cheating on his wife; the black sex worker who is Good and needs to be helped; the Moroccan suicide bomber, etc.). I did like two of the female characters (Cerebro, an old scientist, and Fatma, the sex worker) but they were more peripheral characters, just passing through the bigger plot of the two dudes, one of whom was so obnoxious I nearly put the book down because of him.
So, yeah. The book is good but not awesome, and I feel a bit let down.
Kudottujen kujien kaupunki by Emmi Itäranta
Kudottujen kujien kaupunki (UK: The City of the Woven Streets, US: The Weaver) is easily my favourite book of the month.
Earlier this year, in April, I read Itäranta’s first book Teemestarin kirja (engl. Memory of Water), which I loved, so I was expecting to like Kudottujen kujien kaupunki, and it honestly still managed to blow me away and even exceed my expectations. Once again, there’s a dystopian setting, environmental themes (this time, water pollution), beautiful writing, and fascinating worldbuilding, but with explicit wlw main pairing this time. My heart soars. Itäranta has definitely landed a spot on the list of my fave authors.
Brokeback Mountain: Story to Screenplay by Annie Proux, Larry McMurtry and Diana Ossana
Proulx’s writing style isn’t necessarily my fave -- it’s quite sparse, unornamented and to the point -- but the story is beautiful and touching in all of its horror and it definitely packs a punch. It’s about rural homophobia, internalised homophobia, love and desires, repression, and life.
This edition also featured three short yet insightful essays about adapting the short story to the big screen.
Wuthering Heights by Emily Brontë
I…. like Wuthering Heights?? I’m baffled because I was pretty much prepared to dislike it due to so many people talking about how the relationship is really unhealthy and shouldn’t be romanticised, so I was expecting some sort of 1800s version of Twilight/50SoG, but… that’s not what this is??
Wuthering Heights is not a love story, it’s not a romance, and it’s not supposed to be. It’s not written as such. The relationship (between Cathy and Heathcliff) is not in any way portrayed as a romantic, healthy pairing you’re supposed to root and strive for (like in Twilight/50SoG) with the expectation that the reader is supposed to be sighing about how romantic and thrilling everything about the romance is. In Wuthering Heights, the abuse is portrayed as abuse, as negative and abusive, and the narrative does not support the reading of Heathcliff as a romantic hero and “Mr. Perfect”.
So, yeah. I like Wuthering Heights. In terms of the locale and characters, the scope of the novel is very small and almost claustrophobic, but the emotional magnitude is astonishing. Some of the characters are vile, selfish, and repugnant much of the time and yet I was so swept up in the story and invested in knowing what was going to happen, that I really enjoyed reading about them and I couldn’t help but symphathise with them because of the masterful storytelling. The portrayals of passion and revenge are so vivid I got chills. And I enjoy the double nature of the book; we have the one half (Catherine and Heathcliff) and the other half (Cathy and Hareton), and I love how it’s one of those hopeful stories about breaking the cycle of abuse, the younger generation doing better than the older.
The novel is also highly atmospheric. The moors, the nature, the wilderness. It all reflects the characters and the fact that the novel is so pointedly not about high society and social niceties.
The Gap of Time: The Winter’s Tale retold by Jeanette Winterson
My first venture into the world of Shakespearean book adaptations -- and I am so glad it was with such a great one!
The Gap of Time is a remix of Shakespeare’s The Winter’s Tale (a tragedy-turns-to-comedy that I read for the first time this month and love a lot!), and to me it’s a very successful one. There are so many things brimming with insight (I feel like I marked up at least 2/3 of the book!), some nice winks at the source material and Shakespeare in general, and tbh I gotta love anything that takes the queer subtext in Shakespeare and makes it explicit. I really enjoy the way Winterson modernised the story and dived a bit deeper into themes like time and family, which were already present in the original play.
However, The Gap of Time did feel a bit rough and unpolished at times, although I wonder whether it was intentional and meant to reflect the way reading one of Shakespeare’s (or anyone’s) plays feels like (since obviously they are meant to be seen and not read per se, and consist of nothing but dialogue).
Puhdistus by Sofi Oksanen
In February, I read the first book in Oksanen’s Kvartetti series about Estonia’s recent history and the East/West dichotomy of Europe. This month, I finally picked up the second novel (and the most well-known of the three books that have been published in the series). I was much impressed reading it, and I can see why it became such a sensation.
Puhdistus is a story about shame and sexual violence from the PoV of two women of two different generations set against the backdrop of Estonian history (from 1940s to 1990s, mostly preoccupied with the occupations of Nazi Germany and Soviet Russia, deportations, the Forest Brothers, and surveillance). The novel is at times brutal and sad, you might even call it a psychological thriller (though I myself wouldn’t go that far), but there’s also a constant thrum of hope of survival persisting throughout an the ending is hopeful. I find Oksanen’s writing a joy to read and I think I’m going to pick up the third book in the series sooner than I picked up this one.
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