#but do i just think that because i'm in denial

[maxvkisser]

Hi! I was thinking of a F1 request (male reader preferably) where 2 drivers (or more) like the reader and are kinda fighting for attention, flirting and generally being sweet (like bringing reader his favorite drink etc) but reader is too oblivious to realize it happening. Eventually readers best friend (I was thinking Yuki or Danny) tells him but he stays in denial, despite liking the idea. Eventually one of the others confesses and pushes the other/s to do it as well and reader gets stressed about disappointing them, but they agree they can all date him (alternate ending: he picks one and the others deal with it lmao) and it’s just a happy and fluffy ending. I was thinking maybe Max and Charles, or maybe Lando and Oscar but honestly it kinda works with any combination. Like I said it can be 2 or more drivers, and I understand if you aren’t comfortable writing because everyone isn’t always cool with this type of stuff so ofc I’ll respect it if that’s the case. Have a good day!

BOTH? BOTH! ᴸᴺ⁴ ⁺ ᴼᴾ⁸¹

summery - you are the McLaren media manager and take care of the McLaren tiktok and instagram (filming,posting etc) , so you find yourself working quite a lot with Lando and Oscar, your bff is Yuki :)

reader - male

warnings - use of y/n?

a/n- ty for the req! I decided to actually try to write a poly relationship this time so sorry if it's bad, also I chose Lando and Oscar because I wrote so many max things soz

requests are open! reblogs are very appreciated :)

You are McLaren's social media manager, you film all their tiktoks,instagram posts and whatnot, so you're quite close to both drivers Lando and Oscar, some (your best friend Yuki) would say too close, but you never understand what he's talking about. Right now you're hanging out with Yuki in his place, you're sitting across him on the couch, he groaned and rolled his eyes at you as you put another +2 card on the table, drawing 4 cards from the deck "hey Y/N, how's the job at McLaren going?" he suddenly asked with underlying intentions you couldn't tell "it's fine,why you ask?" you answered Yuki with a raised eyebrow "oh no reasonn... you seem to get along well with the Lando and Oscar" he said while putting another card "isn't that a good thing,it's kind of my job, i don't want them to hate me" you said also placing a card down, you answer earned a shrug from Yuki "they seem to really like you" he said, you shook your head "impossible, but I'm not opposed to that" you answered while chuckling, after that Yuki dropped the subject and continued losing to you in UNO. A few minutes later Yuki decided to bring up the subject once again "So let's say you could date one of them,which one?" he asked, you rubbed your chin while thinking "hmm..can I say both?" you said, raising an eyebrow, you response earned a chuckle from Yuki "you can, but I don't think they'll like that" he said, and with that the conversation ended

You were sitting with the two drivers, scrolling on your phone trying to think about some ideas for the next tiktok video, you felt thirsty "I'm gonna go grab a glass of water" you said and stood up from the couch so it wouldn't seem like you're just walking away out of nowhere, you felt a hand force you to sit down,actually two hands, Lando's and Oscar's, you looked at them confused "I'll get you a glass of water" Lando said with a heroic voice before getting up, Oscar slightly elbowed the brit but Lando ignored that and walked to the kitchen area to get you a glass of water and returning shortly after and looking smugly at Oscar who rolled his eyes at Lando, making you think about what you and Yuki talked about earlier. Small things like that kept happening for the next few weeks, you saying you'll get something,ask for something etc, and the two boys jumping at the opportunity to provide it to you.

One day after doing some shootings for an Instagram post you were standing by yourself in a room, it was empty besides yourself, suddenly you were cornered by Lando, a determined look on the brits face "Hello, Y/N" he said, trying to make his voice deeper, you made a face and raised an eyebrow "Hello, Lando.." you said and put your phone in your pocket "I've got something to tell you!" he semi-yelled, you could tell he was kind of nervous "shoot" you said and waited for an answer from Lando "actually, Oscar also has something to tell you" he said and left, adding to your confusion as you stood there, moments later Lando came back,dragging poor Oscar with him "you go first, I'll tell him after you do" Oscar said and Lando nodded "but you are telling him, deal?" Lando said and Oscar nodded "tell me what? what's going on with you two" you asked in a confused tone "well...I think I like you,no, I know I like you, in a romantic way" Lando said first, without letting you even think, let alone open your mouth, Oscar started to speak too "Yeah, Me too, we both like you" the aussie said, leaving you shocked as you looked at them with your eyes widened "uhm...what..? you finally asked after a few seconds, you didn't know what to say, you thought about your conversation with Yuki, and how he said that the two would not want to date you at the same time, you felt a bit stressed, you didn't want to accept one and reject the other especially since you liked both of them, you train of thoughts was cut but Oscar starting to talk again "It's okay if you don't like us back, or only like one of us, but just tell us the truth,please" he said and Lando nodded,waiting for you answer "Well" you began "I like both of you, if that's fine, I just don't really know if you two would like to be in a relationship together, the three of us" you finished talking "we are more than okay with that!" Lando said enthusiastically, grabbing your shoulders and hugging you tightly, urging Oscar to join the hug. The three of you ended all cuddled up in one of their driver rooms.

#f1 x male reader #f1 x reader #f1 x y/n #f1 x you #f1 fic #land #lando norris x reader #lando norris x male reader #oscar piastri x male reader #oscar piastri x reader #f1 x yn #landoscar x reader #landoscar x male reader #lando x oscar #lando x reader #male reader #x male reader #f1 imagine

[max1461]

Non-exhaustive list of things that seem to be really popular online, or at least in "extremely online" circles, or at least... if not popular per se, of widely understood appeal. Like someone might go "oh I'm not into that but I get it, or it's adjacent to things I'm into". Anyway non-exhaustive list of things like that that I'm not into, and basically don't get, and at some level feel alienated by the online commonality of:

DnD

Denial kinks e.g. cuckolding and chastity

Isaac Asimov Foundation/Edward Gibbon Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire style "civilizational" thinking

Fandom. How do you guys fucking... remember what happens in books and shit? I swear to god when I watch a movie or read I book I just immediately forget what fucking happened in it. Even some of my favorites, like FMA:B, I don't actually remember the plot of that show really. It's very loose in my mind. I remember lots of scenes and events though.

Dark Souls

I'll add more if I think of them. Just don't really understand these things. I've posted lists before of shit that I like before and said "hey can anybody figure out the commonality here because I can't". Well this is the hatermode (or nonunderstandermode) version of that. Does anyone have a coherent theory of what these things have in common that makes me not get them, even though evidently many people get them?

[butterfly-writer]

Punishment & Pleasure

Dabi x Female!Reader

Summary: Dabi was being a brat, always interrupting his beloved during meetings and conversations. I’m sure he deserved what she’s willing to give him as punishment..

★☽A/N: I never wrote smut in a long time.. This is like– My second time writing, and my first wasn’t exactly a satisfying one.. So I hope this one is not too bad! I might be making a separate account for smut if this one turns out okay!

Contents: SMUT

Power bottom AFAB reader, sub top Dabi – Manhandling, anal play, orgasm denial, masochism.

18+ MDNI

· • —– ٠ 𓆩♡𓆪 ٠ —– • ·

It was a cold evening. The sun was slowly setting and the sky was a beautiful hue of orange and red. The League of Villains was having a few short meetings, all ending with Shigaraki getting pissed.

But someone was getting a lot more pissed.

That someone is Y/N L/N.

She was talking to Toga, listening to her rant about her obsession over a certain green-haired boy. And just before she was about to respond, Dabi had come behind her and interrupted her speech. She was surprised to see him, and she was a bit upset about him interrupting her. But, like the patient soul she was, she let him off easy.

But as the day went by, Dabi kept interrupting her. His continuous interruptions were starting to bother her. He continued in that manner because he wanted to see her lose her cool. She was always calm and collected, even during missions and when faced with enemies. Her personality only made him curious for her angered state.

And what better way than to interrupt her everytime she talks?

With each interruption he did with everyone she was trying to talk to, he could see the frustration flicker in his beloved's eyes, her patience wearing thin by the second. He started to feel a bit excited. Not aroused, but excited. Her face was a dead giveaway that she was getting pissed, and that’s exactly what he was looking for.

He wanted to see her enraged, maybe even lash out. He could take it, her anger couldn’t possibly be bad, right? He had experienced much worse from other people. And he was a villain, he couldn’t easily be scared by some “tantrum” from his beloved. 

Dabi couldn’t resist doing it again one last time. She was talking to Mr. Compress and she managed to talk to him for a good amount of time. But before she could talk to him longer, her response was cut off by Dabi’s annoyance.

"Hey, Y/N," he interjected, his voice dripping with mock innocence. "Did you hear about that new hero in town? Word on the street is they're cheating on their married lover.” He grinned mischievously.

Y/N's jaw tightened, a flicker of irritation flashing across her features before she composed herself with practised ease. She shot Dabi an annoyed look, but kept a smile on her face, and responded. "Yes, Dabi, I'm aware. Now if you don't mind, I was in the middle of a conversation."

“Really? I didn’t notice..” He teased with a grin. Before she could say anything else, Mr. Compress excused himself to talk to Kurogiri. She calmly said goodbye before her facial expression turned into a really pissed off one. She turned to Dabi with an annoyed look. She looked almost menacing. Steam could be seen coming out of her mouth.

He had done it! He finally got her to snap! But why did he feel… afraid? Her face looked almost scary to him, unrecognisable to him. To look composed and calm, he grinned with mischief. “What’s wrong, love? Cat got your tongue?” He cheekily said.

Dabi was caught off guard when she pulled him towards her. His body slowly bent down as he was face to face with her. She was a few centimeters shorter than him. “Are you going to behave like this all day? You think this is funny, huh?” Her voice was low and menacing.

By now, Dabi was sweating bullets. He had to swallow hard, feeling a sudden wave of apprehension wash over him. He hadn't expected Y/N to react like this, to confront him so boldly. But even as fear prickled at the edges of his consciousness, he couldn't help but admire the fire in her eyes.

He grinned a weak grin, trying to compose himself. “It.. It was just a joke, love! You know I didn’t mean any harm!” He awkwardly chuckled. But Y/N wasn't buying it. She tightened her grip on his arm, her nails digging into his skin. "You crossed a line, Dabi," she growled, her voice cold and unforgiving. "And now, you're going to pay for it."

She grabbed his arm and dragged him to his room despite his protests. While she lived in her own apartment, Dabi didn’t have the money and agreed to stay at the League’s base after Shigaraki’s proposal. She tossed him onto the bed and straddled him as she took off his shirt before taking off all of his garments, leaving him bare on the bed.

She took his belt and tied it around his arms onto the headboard. He squirmed in his place as he tried to get out of it. Y/N could see Dabi’s flames starting to ignite. She felt pissed at his attempt to escape. She slapped him harshly on his thigh, causing him to flinch.

“Don’t you dare use your flames on me.” She sneered, causing Dabi to stop his flames. She sat in between his quivering legs, she forcefully spread them open and placed them beside her hips. He tried to close them but that just earned him a slap on his thigh and a grunt out of his mouth.

She scoffed with annoyance. “You’re shivering? This was your own doing, fucking disturbing me during my conversations. You need to be taught manners.” She said before slapping his thigh again. He grunted again at the impact, the sting still lingering.

She quickly got to work, her hand on his erected cock. She stroked it slowly and painfully, teasing the tip with her thumb. His groans slowly turned into low-pitched whines, his body squirming in place. She stopped him by grabbing him tightly on the hips. “Stop moving,” she demanded with a low tone.

Despite it had only been minutes, Dabi could feel his release. But before he could even release, he felt a finger probing his entrance and a thumb covering his slit, preventing him from releasing. “Why did you-” His speech was cut off by Y/N’s lips on his. His sounds were muffled by her lips as she continued her assault on his body.

He didn’t know what was so arousing about this. He shouldn’t like this! But as she continued the same action, he could feel himself losing himself to the pleasure. Her lips eventually left his, her face close to his. “So, are you going to behave?” She whispered. And as a last attempt of keeping his dignity and ego, he smirked with his tired eyes. “Fuck off, bitch..”

“Oh? Is that how you want to behave today? Fine.” She slapped him on the thigh again before squeezing it harshly. With lube on her fingers, she slowly pushed a finger inside his entrance, ignoring his whines. “Stop..” He muttered softly, almost like a whisper. She started to finger his ass, slowly making room for two.

She looked down at his leaking cock, red and angry, begging for its release. With a random idea in her head, she flicked the tip with her index and thumb, getting a sudden moan out of the scarred man. She was surprised by his response. But her surprised look turned into a face of amusement. She flicked his tip again, getting the same response from before.

She couldn't believe how quick Dabi was to falter. His moans started too much louder and higher in pitch. Everytime he tried releasing, a thumb on his tip prevented him. She fingered around his insides, trying to find that one spot.

“Ah!” He yelped, feeling a sudden spark in his stomach. He looked down to see the massive grin on his lover’s face. She hit that spot once again, causing a moan out of him. She continuously stimulated that one spot while stroking his cock.

He ended up releasing all over Y/N’s hand, aching his back as he felt his release. Her smile grew even bigger. “Now, this.. This is going to be fun.”

He knew… He was in for it now..

· • —– ٠ 𓆩♡𓆪 ٠ —– • ·

#boku no hero academia #mha #my hero academia #bnha #x reader #reader #female reader #dabi #mha dabi #bnha dabi #dabi bnha #dabi mha #touya todoroki #toya todoroki #todoroki touya #todoroki toya #dabi x reader #dabi x female reader #touya x female reader #touya x reader #smut #dabi smut #bnha smut #mha smut #touya todoroki smut #dabi is touya

[volturiprincess]

Rain

Demetri Volturi x human mate reader

Summary: Reader gets overwhelmed with stress and he's there to support her Warnings: mentions of an anxiety attack, but mostly fluff A/N: Omg someone stop me😁, another one-shot post?? I had to write this because as I was taking my breaks I would work on this, its not proofread but the idea of Demetri calling the reader Spanish nicknames is a must have but throw rainy weather into the topic and muah *chefs kiss*. Enjoy and there will be a second A/N in the end. A little translation for my non-Spanish speakers: Mi cariño: dear or darling Mi vida: My life Princessa: princess Mi amado hermoso: My beautiful lover

(I cant believe it took me a while to write a Demetri one-shot)

I burst through our shared room in a panic state and I saw my lovely mate on his special chair. Before I could even react he was already wrapping his arms around me and cuddling me into his chest. I felt the build up tears I was holding back cascade down my cheeks. Demetri was rubbing my back in comfort and I heard him mumble

“Mi cariño, let it all out, I know you need this”

I sure did need this, all of today I was working on a project for a class and I ended up deleting about half of it and couldn't recover it at all. I always threw my computer out the window but instead I stared at the blank page that was staring back at me with what I could assume was mockery. I did manage to remember a good amount of what I had done and it's back to how it is, but I spent a while in a state of shock and denial.

Suddenly I felt myself shaking physically, my heart increase in palpitation and worst of all I could feel my breath becoming shorter. Demetri picked up right away that I was dealing with an anxiety attack and he guided me toward the balcony to the fresh air and the light rain. 

“Mi vida, look its raining, you love the rain, hey look at how pretty it looks”

I turn my head to be able to face the scenery instead of his very well built chest to see how soft and calming it is currently. I told Demetri before that I love the rain, it's my personal safe haven other than his arms. I felt my trembling and shaking diminished slightly, my heart rate started to slow down to a more reasonable way but my breathing was still a problem.

I felt him tilt my head up so I was looking at him and my breath for a minute hitch, he looked breathtaking right now. There were small droplets of rain running down his face which caused his hair to stick to his forehead and his eyes were full of adoration. He looked beautiful at that moment, well he always looks beautiful, I heard him one time arguing with Felix and he ended the conversation with “Dont hate me because im beautiful”. 

I smiled at the memory and soon enough he had a look of curiosity with a matching smile

“What's got you smiling like that princessa?”

“I was just think about your statement to end an argument with Felix, the don't hate because i'm beautiful”

His laughter filled the gloomy atmosphere that the rain created, his laugh sounding like music to my ears. One of his hands started to caress my cheek gently, his coldness immediately sending a small shiver down my spine but also somehow started to steady my breathing.

“Look at you princessa, your doing so good in breathing, such a good girl”

I blush at the praise which he never fails to miss, he knows what praises from him does to me, many thoughts come to mind but I push them away for now since I am still recovering from the earlier events.

“Do you want to talk about it/”

“My computer decided to throw me a whole 360 today”

“A whole 360? Im sorry cariño, but you need to explain that to me”

I giggled at his dumbfounded look, it's always fun to be able to still catch a vampire as old as him off guard with my modern language “Right forgot your like a million years old, I was working on a project today for one of my classes on my computer and I accidentally deleted like half of it but like I barely started it so it was no big deal because I remember what I had so far but it was just so frustrating you know”

He continued to caress my cheek as he nods along to my explanation 

“And it just so stressful in thinking I have so much to do still before this week ends and I feel like I have done what I needed to do but its not enough still and and—”

He placed his finger on my lips to silence me and I tiled my head to the side from curiosity, this is new. His signature smirk spread onto his face at my reaction

“Sorry love, but you started to spiral into chaos and as much as adore to hear you ramble, I started to feel stress myself from your stress”

I looked down in embarrassment but he tilted my head up once again 

“Hey don't be embarrassed cara, it's good for you to talk about what stresses you out, better out and in you know?”

“Your right metri”

“Now care to have a dance with me in the rain then?”

Whining at his request, even if that has secretly been a dream of mine to do “Demi you know i'm not even a good dancer, heck I don't even know how to”

“But that's the fun part princessa, I can teach you and we will be dancing in your favorite type of weather”

“Fair point”

As the rain intensified slightly, he guided my moves with such elegance that I almost felt like I myself am an expert to begin with. The rain at that moment was not a bother, my main focus was my casanova of a vampire that I call mi amado hermoso.

A/N: You know I don't know why I haven't added any Spanish nicknames to my writings, but I will in future (I feel like Demetri would just know all of the most romantic languages). I know I mentioned this in my Alec one-shot but I am working on a Caius one, its a work in progress indeed maybe in the end of this week I might have part one done, who knows?

#demetri volturi #demetri volturi x reader #our casanova of a vampire #the volturi #volturi #twilight saga #the volturi guard

[bolithesenate]

Hi! For some reason it wont let me ask from the blog I want it to, which is why the random name, but I really love your stuff! Quick question - what do you think would he Dooku/Sifo Dyas/Jocasta/Jaster’s main rule(s) for Padawans/foundling-child-thingy?

Sorry if this is boring or smthing its just Ive decided your word on these things is law!

Thank you!!! Xxxxxxx

eyyy!! never apologize for blessing my inbox with asks! especially not about the blorbos!!

Now, I'm not entirely sure on what you mean with 'what their main rules on children' are.... but that just means my answer gets to be more elaborate.

Sifo-Dyas:

In my head he is the most child loving of the bunch. He would THRIVE on taking a Padawan and honestly I could even see him have a biological child most out of all four of them. But he bars himself from either because of his visions – since there's no telling on how they would interact with a Master/Padawan bond or smt similar he isn't willing to risk a child's wellbeing for his own desires.

That being said, he lives all the more vicariously through Dooku and Jocasta when they take Padawans. (As well as visits the Crèche any day he can) In any universe he and Jaster are a thing he definitely tries his best to be of assistance there as well, even if just as a long-distance-father. He doesn't care if someone claims it's attachment. Raising children is only good and just and if he can help in ANY capacity he will do so and you'd have to kill him first to make him stop.

(And even then his Force ghost probably would find ways to meddle)

Dooku:

Dad-in-denial-supreme.

His stuck-up ass will loudly proclaim he doesn't like children and that they are too noisy and erratic and then turn around and immediately take the next best street urchin under his wing. Provided they look at a lightsaber with even a modicum of interest.

I mean, considering the NUMEROUS apprentices he has in the different flavors of canon (Rael, Qui-Gon, Komari, Sev'rance, Grievous, Assaij, Savage) this man simply is MADE to teach.

In fact, people wiser than me (hi Jess), have famously said that he'll actually go stir-crazy if he doesnt have someone to drill in makashi.

He isn't the best at emotions, but that's what he has Sifo for. And also he WILL offer each and every one of his Padawans/Apprentices/pseudo-children a place in House Serenno's actual lineage, even if just to spite his dead father and brother. But only after they turn 18/are knighted. Whichever comes first. (similarely to Jaster, he refuses to paint any more of a target on a child's back than strictly necessary)

Jaster:

As absolutely child-loving as most Mandos are. He would have adopted many more children already if not for the target that his existence as Mand'alor paints on them.

So while he tries to find them good homes, unless he is directly responsible for them or honor bound in some other way to adopt, he might refuse to say the words (even if it pains him gravely).

In any universe where he's in a relationship with the rest of the blorbos, you better bet he sees their Padawans as his foundlings-by-extension. Even if all the Jedi WILL argue that it is not the same (except Sifo, Sifo can has and will support this interpretation of the Master-Padawan bond until his dying breath). Although, again, he might not ever make it official. Politicians have many enemies. MANDALORIAN politicians doubly so. That isn't beneficial for a child's health long-term.

In any universe where he never gets to be Mand'alor tho he has like 10 foundlings MINIMUM.

Jocasta:

Last but not least. For her, children/padawans were a very distant thought most of her life. Biological ones she would never have in my opinion – either she's infertile to begin with or she got a permanent solution to prevebt pregnancy early on.

And while she did eventually take on three Padawans (yes, Olee counts even if she was stolen from her), she always considered them more students/peers than children in the familial sense. She just isn't very maternal in any capacity, but that is fine.

While she isn't involved a lot in the child-rearing aspects of whatever kids the other three drag along, she very much IS always up for bending some rules in favor of her precious nepo-niblings. Being the Head Archivist lets you get away with quite a bit.

Especially if it ultimately benefits the kid in question academically.

I hope the answer you were looking for is in here, otherwise let me know! I'm always up for talking more about the blorbos!

#answering asks #random boli thoughts #me writing #honorable mention: seeker!sifo #because i think that suits him so beautifully #a character so desperate to secure his family and cultures future for sure would go oit there and do it himself #and i do think that he thinks of all the foundlings on his searches as a bit of his children as well #(another hc sponsored by charmwasjess so say thank you) #star wars #sifo dyas #dooku #jocasta #jaster #jaster mereel

[sophieinwonderland]

The problem isn’t plurality. The problem is the language around DID from plural communities and even the DID community. People who have DID but are in denial may take much longer to accept the diagnosis and work to better understand themselves because they may not be able to relate to how it’s spoken about in online spaces. Particularly people who do not feel comfortable viewing themselves as multiple identities in one. Although that is the most popular representation in both media and online spaces, more often than not that isn’t actually the lived experience. You just don’t see that representation as much because people with it are much less likely to talk about it due to the shame they have around it. Shame is often a major component of surviving trauma. Shame and dissociation go hand in hand. Nuance and awareness are both so important in these types of conversations. It’s sort of similar to how in the autistic community there’s a major lack of representation from nonverbal autistics, despite them making up at least 25% of the total community. The lack of representation doesn’t mean we can pretend to lack awareness of their existence.

I know you don’t believe you’re causing any harm but I’m sorry to say that you are. Which isn’t to say that no harm isn’t also being done to you. It’s just not such a black and white matter. I’m not speaking on behalf of anti-endos. I agree- it’s stupid to hate on a group of people for how they identify. I’m speaking on behalf of highly traumatized individuals who may be looking for answers and wind up getting lost and more confused.

I’m sorry if my intentions with messaging got lost in translation at all. I have a learning disability that affects my ability to process and organize language.

Thanks for the clarification, and sorry for misunderstanding your earlier post.

So let's address this.

Is this a problem?

A problem with this whole topic is, first, that I think we need to see some statistics.

And preferably recent statistics because I think identity has changed a lot in the last 40 years. Maybe there's a silent majority of people with DID who don't view themselves as multiple identities/people offline and are getting spoken over. But I would want to see evidence of that.

Even if some studies from the 80s or 90s showed that most people with DID didn't view themselves as separate people/identities, the advent of the internet age and ability to find community with others with DID likely impacted the culture around the disorder.

Even if this is the case...

Is this our problem?

End of the day, I'm a tulpa identifying as a tulpa. It seems kind of silly to me to think someone with DID would see me, a tulpa who is also plural, decide that because I'm a plural tulpa and people with DID are plural and they don't relate to me, that they can't have DID.

There are a lot of leaps there and most don't make much sense.

And all while the presentations you say are harmful are just as common in anti-endo spaces. Seriously, look at DID TikTok. Almost all anti-endo, and all presenting the way you say is a problem. And with much larger influence than myself.

So this issue, if it is an issue, isn't because of the inclusive plural community, and would clearly exist without it.

I don't think the plural label has anything to do with it.

Community Comparisons:

One of the main mantras you'll find in the plural community is that if you feel plural, you probably are plural. Every system is valid, no matter how distinct your headmates feel. Terms like "median system" were coined to denote systems who feel in between multiple and singlet, and still fall under the plural umbrella.

Meanwhile, the DID community is rife with fakeclaiming and gatekeeping of anyone who doesn't meet whatever arbitrary criteria armchair psychologists made up. All while, again, exhibiting the same types of traits you point to the plural community for. (And yes, you do say "even the DID community" does that. I just think you're underselling it a bit.)

Hard Truth: There will always be DID systems who won't relate to presentations of DID

DID, while having core traits in the way that there will be other agents or parts that can takeover, and there will be some sort of amnesia (under the DSM) is incredibly diverse in presentation.

Kluft wrote a paper outlining about 20 common presentations of DID he identified back in the 90s.

And it can only be assumed that more presentations have been identified since.

The reality is that not every presentation will be represented. Not everyone will be able to relate to every single person with their disorder. And there are going to be some people with rarer, or at least less popular presentations online or in pop culture, who are going to feel underrepresented.

Personally, I think starting from a place of "if you feel plural, you're plural" is going to benefit far more DID systems than it would harm, giving them space to explore their connections with their headmates regardless of how similar or how distinct those headmates feel.

It doesn't matter if they're people, parts, facets, voices or whatever else they decide to identify them as.

There are a lot of things that we don't relate to the majority of other plurals about. But I think the solution is to normalize being able to identify with something without necessarily having to relate to every experience under the umbrella.

#syscourse #pro endogenic #pro endo #plural #plurality #multiplicity #sysblr #system #systems

[neversetyoufree]

I started vnc way back when there was only one volume, stopped, and only restarted it last week 🙈 since then, I have reread it twice and will again, once I'm done with exams, as it has turned me insane. And since no one I know reads it, I just wanted to ask what your thoughts are on my theory that the reason not 'didn't reach out to vanitas' thus leading to his death is because of Ruthven compulsion on him? Cuzco after the 'ill never set you free'thing, I just can't see noel not reaching out tonight purpose. Your blog is a joy to read through, and I love your meta!

Hello!! Thank you so much! It's always great to see another person having fun with my favorite manga :D.

My thoughts on Vanitas's eventual death are. complicated. If we keep going down the path we're on now, I honestly suspect Vanitas's death is going to be more assisted suicide than murder. IE, Vanitas asks for Noé to kill him because it's preferable to the alternative.

Per Ruthven's compulsion, I definitely think it's going to come up, and I do like the idea of Ruthven trying to force Noé to hurt or kill Vanitas, but I don't think it's going to be how Vanitas dies. In a way, I think that would feel somewhat cheap.

Noé killing Vanitas because of his oath to Ruthven would make sense on a plot level. It's a nice, logical explanation for why Noé would kill someone he so clearly adores. I can see why it's a lot of people's theory! However, that explanation wouldn't really deliver on an emotional level. It's just not interesting for Noé's characterization.

For one thing, making Noé kill Vanitas when he's not in control of himself would strip away all of Noé's agency. With VnC's opening chapter, Mochijun sets us up so that the entire time we're reading, we're asking ourselves "but why will Noé kill him?" It's a big source of intrigue and suspense. And to me, finally resolving that suspense with "It's not his fault! He was artificially forced to!" feels like a major letdown. It adds nothing to Noé's character. It's answering that all-important "why" with "There is no reason why. He didn't actually want to." I think that would be a cop-out.

Through that denial of agency, I think this ending would also risk losing out on a lot of potential character development for Noé. The core of Noé and Louis's tragedy is that Noé desperately wanted to save Louis, but the only kind of salvation Louis wanted from him was death, and Noé couldn't give him that.

Now Noé has another person close to him that is also seeking salvation through death. If Noé kills Vanitas, but he's not in control of himself when he does, that misses out on a big opportunity. Has Noé come to understand salvation through death? Has his worldview changed since Louis made that request of him? Does he have it in him to kill a loved one if that's what they ask? If Vanitas's death is forced by Ruthven, then we're much less likely to get answers to those questions.

Personally, my favorite hope/theory for how Ruthven's order will play out is the idea that Ruthven will order Noé to hurt/stop/kill Vanitas, but Vanitas will manage to snap Noé out of it in the same way Noé broke Vanitas's self-hypnosis in the amusement park. There's nothing I love more than a gay little parallel.

I can see a scenario where Ruthven's oath is what pushes Vanitas close to death? Maybe Noé will be ordered to try to kill Vanitas, and that will set off whatever horrible chain of events pushes Vanitas to ask for death that final time. But even if Ruthven does order Noé to hurt Vanitas (which is a big if), I don't think it will be what causes the killing blow.

#I think I remember posting some of these thoughts before years ago #but I'm having trouble finding any relevant posts. so here's this instead. #anyway I always feel a little bad when people send me their theories and I end up arguing against them #thank you for the ask genuinely! #it's an interesting theory and I do see why people like it. even if I don't want it to happen for the listed reasons #vnc #vanitas no carte #the case study of vanitas #ask #anon #theory #the vanoé agenda #<<this isn't a ship post but that's my tag for everything about their relationship lol

[misc-obeyme]

How do you justify when the dialogue of the game contradicts whatever headcanon you have of Mc.

Hey there!

I justify it the same way I do when the canon characters say something that contradicts my headcanons of them. (Not me still in denial about Barb's eighth on the list issue lol.)

I don't really self insert all that much, but I don't really insert my MC Ciaran all that much, either. Most of the time, when I'm playing the game, I'm experiencing MC as the game's generic MC. Like to me, generic MC is their own character that is separate from how I headcanon MC (whether as myself or Ciaran or something else).

So when options come up that don't fit, I just think of them as what generic MC is saying.

I will physically put down my phone and contemplate how the options would change if it was actually Ciaran in the story. Sometimes the options fit them and I'll be like oh man Ciaran would totally say that! Sometimes it's something I would say, but Ciaran wouldn't in which case I usually say oh man Ciaran wouldn't say any of that, but I would! I find it funny lol.

I guess I just have two versions of the story in my head (well, okay I probably have like thousands of versions of the story in my head but let's say two for simplicity's sake). The canon version is exactly as it is in the game with the MC being a generic no-name, no-face character that is sometimes represented by a sheep. Then there's the version in which my MC exists, which is separate only lives in my head. Because I know how Ciaran would change the story if they were actually in it.

Hmm, hopefully some of that makes sense and answers the question!

#I have Ciaran's name in there but it's really more like a placeholder than anything lol #but it's really fun to have it there when something happens that perfectly lines up with what Ciaran would say or do #obey me #obey me mc #danklemaster #misc answers

[not-goldy]

i would say im a jjk and all i have to say is that jungkook's tunnel vision, who it's directed at for a very long time, it's jimin and it's actually godamn hilarious to see a certain group of people run with such baseless narratives even now, a lot of them still haven't been able to acknowledge gcf in tokyo for what it is, take it at its face value as it pretty much just erases every fantasy they have of this ideal reality that they wish for certain members and it's been like what 7 years, 7 years of evading the obvious and on top of that they now have to deal with the companion enlistment, it's almost entertaining to see them scramble for a theory, another one of those wack theories they can latch onto for years in order for their fantasy to live on.....but it's such a shame when supposed solos of either jk/jm go to such insane lengths to pretend that those two don't like each other, it just shows that they truly don't know them beyond how they want to perceive them especially when they bring up certain past mistakes made by naive young people navigating a very unfamiliar environment, there's about 80% of their private personal experiences that we as fans aren't privy to, do these people honestly think jungkook and jimin haven't talked or discussed about their personal feelings in regards to how they feel towards the way they treat each other in any occasion or worked through their problems or established boundaries within their relationship, do these people think jungkook and jimin are still teens, that they haven't grown in the past years to known their own worth or do they just pretend not to see how deep jikook's bond has grown over the years, i'm a jungkook stan through and through and i've seen the shift in the way he shows his affection towards jimin, it's gotten much more mature and bolder and i don't have the right to define it further but such a thing doesn't happen just magically, you don't just choose to enlist with someone just because they asked you to, it involves two people, just like how a relationship involves two people and they've worked through it, communicated when needed to, grown, explored the depths of it in their own terms and which is why they've settled into a dynamic that is so profoundly visible and grounding to both of them, which is also why they are so in tune to each other's thought process and emotions, it happened over time, it's been over 10 years, 10 years, nobody can erase that and if someone willingly chooses to ignore it and bring up past mistakes/weave false narratives when they can't accept reality they'll just have live in denial for the rest of their lives

Now this right here

Yea. What JJK Anon said

Also being a JJK who understands and appreciates Jikook's bond is so shekshie. Marry me🤭🤭🤭

[steddieunderdogfics]

This week’s writer spotlight feature is:  MuseumGiftShopEraser! They have 9 works on AO3 in the Stranger Things Fandom, and 6 of those are in the Steddie tag!

Our anonymous nominator recommends the following works by @museumgiftshoperaser:

Paint the Devil on the Wall

Conversations About Love

Now I'm A Stranger

An Exercise In Denial

Baby, You Were Meant To Follow Me

Her fics are BEAUTIFUL. When I first read Paint the Devil on the Wall I was so obsessed I immediately recced the fic to everyone I knew who would be vaguely interested in a steddie fic. -- anonymous

Below the cut, @museumgiftshoperaser answered some questions about their writing process and some of their recommended work!

Why do you write Steddie?

I stumbled into it immediately after season 4 came out. I’ve felt very attached to Steve as a character from the beginning of the show and I think I was subconsciously waiting for someone to pair him up with. I think they’re both such great characters to explore themes of dealing with expectation (either by conforming, or fighting against it) and that’s something I always love to write about.

What’s your favorite trope to READ?

Absolute sucker for fake dating. Can’t get enough of it.

What’s your favorite trope to WRITE?

Enemies to lovers! Though now that I’m looking through my AO3 I haven’t actually written that much of it. It doesn’t have to be very intense enemies, though. I just like it when characters don’t immediately get along.

What’s your favorite Steddie fic?

My brain has been forever rewired by took you for a working boy by pukner. It’s such a gentle, nuanced queer story. It feels vulnerable to me in a way that really only fanfiction can be. Can I sneak in another one?? Because everyone should also absolutely read the shame is on the other side by scoops_ahoy. It taps into this very specific kind of queer compartmentalizing, that I’ve never seen written this well. It broke my heart and patched it right back up.

Is there a trope you’re excited to explore in a future work but haven’t yet?

I’ve been stupidly busy with my masters lately so there’s probably not a lot of writing on my horizon. I do have a wip called Doll that I’m slowly chipping away at. It’s a little darker than stuff I’ve written before. I know ‘dark’ isn’t really a trope, but I’m excited to see if I can push these characters a little further. 

What is your writing process like?

Absolute chaos. I write non-chronologically, without an outline, all in the same document. I keep writing snippets and scenes until the whole thing slowly comes together. 

Do you have any writing quirks?

Italicizing words for emphasis. I love it so much, you can rip it from my cold dead hands. It accidentally makes its way into my academic writing for my degree sometimes which is a little embarrassing, but I just love the flair of it. 

Do you prefer posting when you’ve finished writing or on a schedule?

I don’t really do schedules, it doesn’t work for me at all. I try to make sure I have a decent amount of the story written before I start posting to give me a bit of a head start, but forcing myself to finish something by a certain date is a surefire way to kill my motivation.

Which fic are you most proud of?

Probably Paint the Devil on the Wall. It was the first time I’d written the entire story before I started posting so it went through way more rounds of editing than normal. I think you can really tell. It’s also the longest story I’ve ever written (in general, even outside of fanfic). The whole project gave me a lot of confidence as a writer.

How did you get the idea for Paint the Devil on the Wall?

I knew I wanted to participate in the Bigbang and the deadline was coming up, but I still didn’t have an idea. I decided to work backwards and try to think of something that would be fun for the artist(s) to draw. I had a vision of Eddie wearing dungarees without a shirt, absolutely covered in paint and I knew I had to write something to make it happen. I set the story in 80s New York because neo expressionism is really the only kind of art I could see Eddie making. I think it suits him very well. I do actually have a background in art, though! I’m currently getting my MFA, but I’ve worked full time as an artist for several years before that. I had a lot of fun working my passion for art (and all those art history classes I had to take) into the fic.

When writing Paint the Devil on the Wall, what was something you didn’t expect?

All of Steve’s character, to be honest. The fic is written from Eddie’s POV and for a large part of it he has a very hard time figuring out what Steve’s deal is. Right alongside him, I also had an incredibly hard time figuring out his character. It wasn’t until I was working on the final chapter that he finally clicked for me. I realized very late, just like Eddie, that Steve liked him from the very beginning. Most of the enemies to lovers premise was all in Eddie’s head.

What inspired Now I'm a Stranger?

Oh boy, that was forever ago! I remember I started writing it while I was camping with friends because I liked having something to do after everyone went to bed at night. I think I had the idea for that very first scene where Steve doesn’t remember Eddie and it all sort of spiraled from there.

What was your favorite part to write from An Exercise in Denial?

That was the very first fic I wrote, right after season 4 came out! I’ve never written something that fast, I think the whole thing took me less than a week. My favorite part was probably Robin being completely exasperated with both of them. They’re such complete idiots in that fic.

How do/did you feel writing Baby, You Were Meant To Follow Me?

Ahhh… I never got around to finishing that one. I probably never will, to be honest. I wrote the first two parts quite quickly and then the idea I had for the plot spiraled out of control and I realized I didn’t actually feel like writing the rest of it. There were going to be a lot of misunderstandings and I learned that I find that an incredibly frustrating trope to write (when done for drama at least. For comedy, I’m a sucker for misunderstandings.) So I guess I felt a little in over my head.

What was the most difficult part of writing Conversations About Love?

The ending! That fic is so incredibly personal to me and I knew from the beginning that I wanted it to have a very sappy, happy ending. It was important to me to write an aromantic character getting everything they wanted, but I realized as I was writing it that I don’t actually fully know what that means. So it took a bit more soul searching than fics typically do, but it was very much worth it. 

Do you have a favorite scene and/or line from any of your fics?

I still think the short little prologue for Paint the Devil on the Wall is the best thing I’ve written. “You don’t draw on things that aren’t yours, baby” is probably the best summary I have for that story.

Do you have any upcoming projects or fics you’d like to share/promote?

Not really!

Thank you to our author, @museumgiftshoperaser, and our anonymous nominator! See more of @museumgiftshoperaser works featured on our page throughout the day!

Writer’s Spotlight is every Wednesday! Want to nominate an author? You can nominate them here!

#writer's wednesday #steddie #steddie fic recs #steve harrington #eddie munson #steve x eddie #stranger things #ao3 writer #steddie writers

[bimbo-writer]

☆The life of a psycho idols toy☆

Contains: smut, stalking, abuse, forced sex, drugging, spanking, handcuffs, orgasm denial, edging, degrading, praise, double penetration, threesome, foursome, multiple rounds.

--------------------------------------------------

Life was perfect before you started listening to Swirl, the moment you heard their music it was like a switch was flipped. Suddenly you started going to every concert paying huge amounts of money you had saved just to get a closer look at all of them.

That's where it should have stopped but it didn't, and because of that you'll never forget the night you gambled your soul and lost the bet.

--------------------------------------------------

It started like any other night attending the newest Swirl concert in your town waiting anxiously for the band to strat. When you noticed out the corner of your eye a fellow fan that looked really familiar for some reason. You brushed it off thinking it was probably just your imagination and went back to screaming for the band, when you felt a hand around your wrist.

Your eyes shifted to see who was grabbing you and saw it was Venti the lead singer of Swirl! You where about to scream when he put a hand over your mouth shushing you, "hey your pretty cute wanna have a once in a lifetime experience baby?" He questioned as if he had to ask something like that, you nodded vigorously in excitement as he pulled you away from the crowd towards the stage.

He talked to the security guard for a minute before he opened the gate leading to the stage and backstage area. "Alright listen here sweetie this isn't something we normally do like ever but today I felt like doing something special for a fan" he said winking at you.

His words made you feel special as a small blush spread to your cheeks, "but why did you pick me? And what about all the other members of Swirl?" Your questioned didn't seem to register with him cause he just walked away leaving you alone in the middle of their concert.

"Wait Venti-" you tried walking after him but immediately bumped into someone, "I'm so sorry-" your sentence trailing off to the end as you looked up seeing it was xiao the lead guitarist.

"Who are you and why are you back here?" He questioned looking you up and down trying to see if you where a threat. "Um my name is-" your sentence getting cut off again as Venti reappears with the other members of the band.

"Venti there you are I've been looking for you" xiao says sighing a breathe of relief while you just stood there jaw agape from shock. All the other members watched you curiously as you took a step back almost falling on your butt before Venti's hand grabbed yours pulling you into his arms.

"Be careful baby don't want you getting hurt" he teased hands going to your waist as you struggled to keep your brain from overheating. "Venti what did you do this time?" Ather asks with a look of excitement and worry, "I figured since this is the last show on our tour why not do something special for our little devoted fan".

Everybody sighed not liking where this was going but just played along with it, "but why is she here backstage Venti?" Kazuha asked this time. "Well I figure she could perform with us just this once" he said as all the other members just stood their in disbelief at what he wanted to do this time.

"Venti are you crazy she can't just perform with us like it's nothing, the producers will kill us" xiao exclaimed while Venti just stuck his tongue out pushing you in a changing room and started telling everyone to make you match them.

Immediately you where told to undress and they started taking your measurements putting make up on you and pulling you in every direction. Your mind couldn't keep up with everything they where doing except getting dizzy from all the pulling.

After they where done you looked in the mirror to see yourself, you where shocked to see how pretty you looked with all the make up and the outfit.

"Alrighty cutie I hope your done cause where about to get on stage" Venti peeked his head inside telling you that you where about to go on stage. "Wait but I'm still not ready-" your sentence getting cut off as Venti grabbed your hand dragging you away as the make up crew gave you a worried look.

"Alrighty it's time. Don't worry baby you get to sit back here for a while and practice your song its gonna be 'our toxic love' from our play boy album". Those where his final words before he stepped out onto the stage with everyone else leaving you alone again.

As you heard the screams of thousands of fans all you could think about was how they would absolutely chew you out for being on stage with Swirl. You tried calming yourself down and practicing your voice but it didn't help at all.

'Its gonna be alright you just have to sing and dance in front of a few thousand people' which didn't sound easy nor was it going to be easy.

Venti's voice brought you out of your thoughts as he announced there next song was our toxic love signaling you to come out. Taking one last deep breathe you stepped out onto the the stage bright lights stining your eyes as the crowd fell silent with a few low whispers.

Your heart was beating a million miles an hour as your breathe began to go rigid and your head spin. All the anxiety pilling all at once at the worse time, you where about to just run off stage but Venti grabbed your hand pulling you into his arms and whispering in your ear.

"My dear you have to start the song in order for us to finish" his voice making you go weak in the knees. He let you go giving you a wink as you exhaled before starting the song and dancing perfectly along to the music. All the other members followed you letting you take the lead as the fans started to scream.

With each step you could see that the band was slowly inching closer to you which wasn't part of the choreograph. You started to panic thinking that you had somehow messed up but instead as the final words left you lips all the boys turned your way holding you in some intimate way.

Xiao was holding your hips, while Venti was caressing you thigh from below, Ather pulling your chin towards him, Heziou caressing your other thigh, and Kazuha holding your breast lightly. The fans started crying this time upset at the position you where in right.

All the boys got up from their positions and waved goodbye to there fans as you just bowed feeling sorry for probably running their night. As you made your way backstage you where having trouble keeping your heart from jumping out of your chest.

Once back stage you finally let out the sigh you had been holding in turning to see the boys looking at you. "What was that? That wasn't part of the choreography at all" you asked confused why they decided to change it so last minute. "We thought it would be fun" Venti teased sticking his tongue out.

Why where you not surprised, "anyway thank you for the chance to perform with you it was amazing but I kinda want to change and go home". You thought this would be the end but it wasn't, "trying to leave so soon? The fun has only started dear" this time it was heziou speaking.

"Why should the night end here" kazuha chimed in smiling brightly at you. "Well if you're all fine with it I wouldn't mind spending more time with you". You never thought that Swirl would take an interest in you.

"No this ends here" xiao spoke up holding your clothes and phone in hand, "she needs to leave immediately. It's bad enough she was on stage with us now people are gonna think she's some kind of new celebrity". His tone was laced with venom as he spoke sending shivers down your spine.

The others seemed like they wanted to object but his aura left no room for debate. "It's fine I'll just leave plus your gonna have many more concerts to come so I'll see you when you guys go on tour again" you beamed making everyone but xiao smile.

As you got into the trailer ready to undress you noticed something out the corner of your eye. It was a small blinking red light, it peaked your curiosity. Taking a few steps forward to see what it was you almost tripped over something.

You heard something fall and bent down to pick it up. You noticed it was a collar, a collar that had your name on it. It kinda freaked you out but you didn't think too much of it since there lots of other people in the world and it could belong to someone they know.

Just as you were about to put it back you heard the band talking outside of the changing room.

"Look Venti I know you're obsessed with her but this needs to stop if she mysteriously goes missing and the cops know the last place she was, was at our concert then it spells trouble for us"

It was Xiao and it sounded like they were talking about you, what did he mean by if you went missing?

You pressed your ear closer to the wall trying to gather more information.

"Why are you worrying so much it's not like the police are gonna think a idol group would kidnap a college student" Venti's voice was the next you heard.

Wait did he say kidnap!? There were all kinds of alarms blaring in your head telling you that you needed to get out of there immediately.

Unfortunately your curiosity got the better of you as you continued to listen to their conversation.

"Look Venti we all like her but what happened tonight really crossed the line" it was Heizou.

Just as Venti was about to say something else his phone went off and from there it went silent.

You backed up from the wall in shock at what you were hearing, did the members of Swirl like you? Not only that they were obsessed with you!

You needed to get out of there and quick, just as were about to grab your phone the room you were changing in started to fill with gas. It was transparent and had no smell to it so you didn't notice it at first but you soon felt your body become numb and your eyelids heavy.

You tried to get to the door but fell to your knees before you could get there and soon lost consciousness.

The last thing you heard before everything went black was the sound of the door opening and Venti's voice. "I'm sorry dear but it looks like you found out too much" a small laugh leaving his lips.

When you regained consciousness you were in a dimly lit room laying on a bed that felt awful cold for some reason. You thought it was just your sensitive skin but when you looked down you saw you were wearing not bit a torques lingerie set that you definitely weren't wearing before.

You wanted to stand up but your body still felt heavy and when you tried to move your hands you felt them in handcuffs. You tilted your head upward to see the were connected to the headboard.

You looked around the room trying to see if there was anything around that could tell you where you were. As you looked around more and found nothing you started to hear faint footsteps that grew louder with each passing second until they stopped in front of the door.

You grew nervous at who or what was behind the door, before your brain could think anymore about it the door swung open revealing Swril. Your eyes widen with surprise before it was quickly replaced with fear.

Venti was the first to enter the room smiling big while the others wore creepy smiles, "look guys she's already awake" his voice boomed in the small room as he walked closer to you. Your fight or flight took over as you started to thrash against your restraints and scream.

"Stay the fuck away from me!" he didn't seemed bothered by this and simply walked up to you grabbing your face roughly. "Now that's not very nice especially after we went to all the trouble of getting an extra sound proof room just for you" his smile was sadistic.

"You know instead of acting like a little bitch you could thank us" his words were hurtful and laced with venom. "Why the fuck would I thank you after you kidnapped me!?" you started to raise your voice again but was met with a slap to the face.

It stung like hell as the area began to redden a little, "see you went and made me made hit you" his tone was sympathetic but you knew he wasn't. "How about you beg me to kiss it better" he wanted to brake your spirit you knew that's what he wanted.

You had studied a little bit on manipulation and abuse, and this was one of the things they did to try and brake your spirit.

"Go to hell"

His face dropped from it's bright smile to one of pure hatred, "look I'm trying to be nice but your acting like a bitch. So either you start apologizing or things are gonna get gruesome around here" he looked deep into your eyes trying to tell you he was serious.

As you were about to tell him off again Heizou spoke up, "come Venti she seems scared let's give her something to drink first. I'm sure she's thirsty after being out for so long". Heizou stopped Venti from hurting you again and you from making him want to hurt you.

"Your right I'm sure are little darling is quite parched" he sighed before going back to his normal self. You wanted to protest but your throat betrayed you going dry and felt hoarse.

You watched as they dissapeared from your sight, you heard the clang of glass and the sound of liquid being poured. You couldn't see what they were pouring until they came back into view with a glass of blue juice.

Kazuha was the one holding the glass and came forward bringing the glass to your lips, you moved your head refusing to drink it.

"What's the matter love why won't you drink the juice?" He asked a small frown on his face. It almost made you feel bad, almost.

"You think I'm stupid? What if you drugged the juice" you were smart enough to know that if your kidnapped to not drink or eat anything they offer unless you know for sure it's not poisoned.

Venti and Xiao let out loud sighs letting you know they were staring to get pissed at your behavior. "Love I promise we didn't put anything in the juice when we poured it for you" Kazuha tried to reassure you but you didn't believe him.

"What will it take for you to believe us dear" this time it was Ather who spoke up, you thought about it for a minute then decided.

"I want all of you to drink some of the juice too. If it's poisoned then we all die and if it's not then I'll be inclined to behave a little more".

They seemed fine with this and brought five more glasses and the juice that they had served you. One by one they each filled the glasses with the blue liquid and drank it.

Kazuha then tried to get you to drink yours to which you pushed your head to the side again. "Wait, I want to wait a second to see if anything happens to any of you" Xiao was about to protest but Venti said it was fine.

As the six of you sat there waiting you didn't see anything wrong with any of them, maybe they didn't actually drug the juice.

"Fine I'll drink it" you spoke as Kazuha lifted the glass to your lips as you slowly drank the juice. They didn't wear any particular expressions when you drank it which made you feel a little better.

As the last of the liquid slid down your throat you could see Venti making his way to, "now see was that so hard my darling" he was teasing you.

You puffed your cheeks out and turned away from him, "you can be mad all you want but you still look cute".

"Whatever" you said rolling your eyes which didn't go unnoticed by Xiao, "quit being so ungrateful you bitch" he started to get closer but Heizou and Kazuha blocked him from getting too close.

"Calm down Xiao she's just being moody" Heizou was quick to defend you.

"Plus you don't need to worry her attitude will change soon enough" this time it was Kazuha talking to him. His words made you tense up a little, the thought of the juice being drugged still plagued your mind.

As you began to try and clam yourself, you started to feel really hot.

The boys didn't notice since they were talking with each other and bickering about things you couldn't hear. Your breathe started to become ragged and uneven as it felt like you were laying on fire.

Venti was the first to take notice of this and smirked, "look guys it's finally starting to take effect" he pointed toward you and all the others eyes followed. Your body was shaking slightly and it was flushed a nice shade of red and pink.

They smirked closing in on you until you were completely surround by them with someone by every part of your body.

"What the hell did you make me drink!?"

Nobody answered you instead they started stripping, revealing their toned body's to you.

"Answer the question dammit!"

At this point your were pissed they had lied, but how come it was only affecting you and not them if the juice was all the same.

"Calm down darling we only gave you an aphrodisiac to make you more comfortable" his smirk only pissed you off more.

"When I get outta here I'm gonna-"

"Your gonna what?" Xiao cut your sentence off grabbing your face roughly squishing your cheeks together. It hurt badly as you tried not to let him know it did, "xiao your hurting her" Ather reached his hand out to grab Xiao's but it was quickly slapped away.

"I don't care I've waited long enough to have her all to ourselves and you iditos are just screwing around" he grabbed Ather slamming him against the wall. The others didn't seem to fazed by it and just continued to strip.

Each one had a unique build. Heizou had the best abs, while Venti had a smaller frame compared to the others, and Kazuhau seemed to be packing. From what you could tell Xiao had well defined muscles and Ather had a fat ass.

As you were ogling the men you felt a hand on your cheek making you face Venti. "Do you like what you see darling?"

You tried to move away from him touch but his grip was firm letting you know he could be just as rough as Xiao. "I asked you a question darling so why don't you answer me" his voice dropped an octave.

You nodded not wanting to give his the satisfaction of hearing you compliment them. He seemed fine with you refusing to use your words, for now at least.

"So we taking turns or all at once~" it was Heizou. "Well I was thinking we take turns, I'm not sure she could handle all of us at once, well not yet at least~" Venti might have been fucked up for kidnapping you but he still cared about you.

"Well me might want to hurry cause Xiao is practically fucking Ather" you looked over to see what Kazuha was talking about. Xiao had Ather pressed up against the wall making out with him and grinding on him.

You couldn't lie it was hot seeing them like that, "come on Xiao leave Ather alone you know he's sensitive especially when people are watching". Heizou went over to break the two apart leaving Xiao frustrated and Ather on the verge of cumming.

"So about fucking her I think it should be Xiao and Me first, then Heizou, Ather, and Kazuha" venti was explaining the order of everyone and who would go first. How were you supposed to take Venti and Xiao first then be expected to take three more guys.

You started to thrash against your restraints trying to somehow get out of them but to no avail. "Aww our little darling is trying to escape, isn't that cute" Venti was mocking you, taking pleasure in your misery.

"Fuck you" you spat before moving away from his touch just to bring you back, grabbing you by your hair. "Oh no it will be us who fucks you darling" he laughed before smashing his lips against yours.

Under any other circumstances you would be over joyed that he was kissing you but this isn't a romantic kiss. You close your eyes trying to invision anyone else kissing you right now but it didn't help.

His tongue grazed your bottom lips asking for entrance which you denied so he pulled your hair again making you open your mouth. It opened just enough for him to slide his tongue inside and lay claim, humming in satisfaction.

He pulled away after a second and enjoyed the look of defeat on your face, "come dear just give in already if you do we can think about getting rid of the restraints. I know they hurt". Before you could respond Xiao came and sat on the other side of you grabbing your face.

"I'm tired of waiting let's just hurry up" he pushed your legs apart hand moving to toy with your cunt. A small whimper left your lips at his action it felt so good especially with the aphrodisiac starting to take effect.

"Come on slut just say you want more and we'll get rid of the restraints and fuck you silly" his words were harsh but the cuffs did hurt when you pulled on them.

"Please..." it was barely above a whisper.

"Say. It. Louder. Slut" xiao demanded the grip on your hair tightening with each word.

"Please remove the cuffs and fuck me" you said it just loud enough to satisfy him. Pathetically waiting for them to un-cuff you and have their way with you.

They all smirked going to remove the cuffs from your body, once they where gone and you sat up, you tried to make a run for it but xiao expected this. Tackling you back on to the bed, "god damnit bitch why can't you just listen!?"

"Fuck you" you spat clawing at his arms trying to get him off you. Unfortunately he was much stronger than you and wouldn't budge. He had enough and grabbed your hands pinning them above your head before shoving his cock inside you.

It hurt like hell because they didn't prepare you, his cock practically splitting you in two. "Aw come on xiao your gonna break her before the rest of us get a turn" heizou whined. Xiao just brushed the comment off continuing his assault on your pussy. "So fucking wet all for me" xiao teased bending down to kiss you.

It was sloppy just like the other times, but more spit than anything. You hated how your body was starting to give in to his touches. It was bad enough that he was having his way with you but then venti came and sat next to your head.

"Aww look at you all helpless and needy, it's a good thing we're here to help you" he mocked, voice too sweet for comfort. You were going to retaliate, say something when xiao gave a particularly hard thrust into you. Your unsaid sentence coming out as a high pitched moan.

"Fuck your tight, and don't get me wrong I'd love to hear you moan endlessly but right now I need you to shut up". With that he montioned for Venti to start, he flipped you over onto your hands and knees so your mouth was aligned with Venti.

He gave you a smile before grabbing hold of your hair and forcing his cock to the back of your throat. "Fuck her throat is like a vice" he exclaimed before starting to slowly thrust. It burned but it wasn't unbearable or particularly rough like how xiao was. The pain slowly subsiding to pleasure, "so perfect for us, such a good girl".

The praise went straight to your pussy tightening around Xiao, "I think she likes the praise but let's see how she likes being treated like a whore". A hand came down on your ass making you whine around Venti, pussy clenching harder around Xiao. "Such a good whore, moaning like you weren't begging to be let go minutes ago". His words hurt your heart but it made you that much more wet.

Xiao started picking up the paste thrust becoming faster, balls slapping against your cunt. It felt so good being sandwiched between them, your mind was becoming foggy and lightheaded. Your orgasm creeping up and body becoming tense.

"She's close, I knew she was a slut" xiao moved his hand from your hip down to your clit rubbing fast circles. He was coaxing you to your oragsm and practically kissing your cervix with his cock.

Your orgasm coming crashing over you and you screamed around Venti, Xiao moved his hand back to your hip. His grip was bruising as he stilled himself and released inside you, painting your insides white. He waited a minute before pulling out and watching his cum start to spill out slowly.

He got off the bed and went to sit in a chair watching as Venti had his way with you. "Your so beautiful love, all I've ever dreamed of" his words made your heart flutter but his thrust were completely hard. Holding your head in place allowing himself to fuck your face however he wanted.

"Fuck baby, I'm close- take it" after another thrust he buried himself into the back of your throat and came. Ropes of hot white cum spilling into you. He pulled off and grabbed you by your chin pulling your bottom lip to open your mouth. You opened and showed him that you had swallowed all of it.

"Such a good girl" leaning down and kissing you softly before pulling away and letting you fall onto your stomach. Arms exhausted from supporting your weight for so long. "Ok we're done for now you guys can take over" you lazily rolled over onto your side and propping yourself up into your arms.

Looking up and seeing the other three standing before you. Heziou grabbed your arm and pulled you close to his chest as kazuha played down. Ather took a spot behind him and waited for the others to start. "Now sweety we might not be as big as Xiao but we're much thicker~" he whispered in your ear before making you straddle Kazuha.

You could feel his cock grind along your pussy lips catching your clit every now and then. It felt amazing but you wanted more, with Heizou's help you slowly slipped onto Kazuha's cock. He wasn't kidding when he said that they were thicker than Xiao, the stretch this time stung much worse. You hissed in pain as you slid the rest of him inside you before sitting on top of him full.

They didn't make you move or immediately start thrusting like Xiao did, they were much more gentle than the other two. It felt nice being treated softly and slowly, "hey quite screwing around and just fuck her already" it was xiao being impatient in the side.

They ignored him and slowly started moving you up and down Kazuhas cock. The stretch making it even better, "fuck she looks so pretty all messed up" ather whimpered stroking his cock messily chasing his own orgasm.

"Ather you know she has more than one hole right?" Heizou motioned for Ather to just take your throat, hand snaking from behind to open your mouth wide for him. He hesitated but slowly slide inside groaning as your lips wrapped around the base. He wasn't as long as Venti but he was much thicker. Stretching your jaw wider than you were comfortable with.

He gave small slow thrust timing his with Kazuhas while Heizou stayed back for the most part. Allowing the other two to enjoy themselves, all you could do was take it, pain slowly starting to subside into pleasure.

"Fuck baby your going to make me crazy if you kept at it" Ather's grains becoming louder. His hips rutting harder against your face fucking it harder than before. His cock started to twitch letting you know he was close. It only took another thrust before he was spilling his seed down your throat forcing you to swallow everything he was giving you.

His cum tatsted a little sweeter than Ventis but you still didn't care for the taste. It was only a second before Heizou was back behind you. "You did such a good job sweety now let's see if you can take more" his hand moved to your soaking cunt gathering your arousal and smearing it around your hole being stretched by Kazuhas cock.

He was lubing you up trying to stretch your hole further. It hurt but god did it feel amazing, being praised for taking it all like such a good girl. "Such a good girl being such perfect little slut" the mix of praise and degradation almost sending you over the edge again. Before you could though Heizou pulled his fingers away from you cunt ripping the feeling of your oragsm away from you.

Small slurs of "please" fling from your lips begging to be pushed further. "Such a little cock slut already begging to be ruined more" it was Xiao mocking you. His words citting deep.

Heizou stocked his cock before lining it up to your already ruined hole and slowly started to push in with Kazuha. It brought a shrill scream from you spasming hard against Kazuha as your oragsm came crashing down at once. "Fuck baby your so tight, taking two cocks up your perfect pussy" Heizous thrust became in sync with Kazuhas there tips kissing your cervix in the most bruising and pleasurable manner.

It wasn't long before Kazhuas thrust started to become erratic and harder,one more theustand he was spilling inside you. His hand moving to your face and kissing you while he ride out his high. Your brain was complete mush by now, too drink on the feeling yo know what's going on anymore.

Soon Heizou was also spilling inside you adding to the pressure,making you feel so full. The three of you stayed like that for a minute collecting your breathe. It felt nice to be treated softly unlike the rough treatment of the first two.

After a minute the two slowly pulled out making you whine at the lost feeling of being full. The others watched as small globes of cum spilled from your ruined whole. It turned them all on to see you dazed out of your mind and covered in cum.

You didn't move just staring at the ceiling and allowing your eye lids to slowly start to fall. "Hey don't go falling asleep yet bitch we're not even close to being done." Xiao roughly grabbed your face and pushed his lips against yours.

He pulled away and all you saw was everyone staring at you lust clouding their vision. From their they spent the next six hours putting you in every possible position they could. Taking turns using you like their personal flesh light, uncaring of how you felt.

They pulled oragsm after orgasm from you while painting you in their cum. Making you take load after load until you felt like you were going to get pregnant. After Xiao cum for the nth time inside you he quickly pulled out yo watch his cum seep out of you and stain the sheets below you.

"Alright slut I guess we're done for now, I'll get the other to clean you up. Get some rest you'll need it and remember you're our bitch now" he pulled roughly on the little choker before kissing you one final time. After that you drifted into unconscious, thinking about just what the hell got you here.

#venti #xiao #kazuha #heizou #ather #anime #genshin impact #smut

[nebulouscoffee]

That scene between Tuvok and B'Elanna from 'Resistance' wrecks me actually... It's such a great moment for both characters (and actors, Tim Russ is SO underrated ugh) which highlights the differences between the two of them so well- yet, ultimately shows that under certain circumstances (in this case, torture) the distinctions between people... don't really matter. In an episode full of political violence, this moment is so significant, and I don't even really think I have the smarts to articulate why but I'll try lol.

TORRES: We told you already. We don't know anything about the Resistance.  AUGRIS: I've heard that many times, from many people. Take him.  (The forcefield is lowered, and Torres grabs the guard that steps through.)  TUVOK: Lieutenant, stop! That will not help either of us.  AUGRIS: He's right.

Everything about the way this scene (and the final shot where she's shoved back into her seat) is framed makes B'Elanna appear small, helpless- and embarrassed at her own helplessness- in that cell. We see her fidgeting, unable to sit down, constantly trying to break out or improvise her way out of the situation (she gets electrocuted earlier while trying to tamper with the circuitry)- it makes me wonder whether Tuvok was chosen to be tortured not because they believed he was more likely to have information, but because B'Elanna was more likely to be demoralised watching helplessly as he's dragged off. Augris's line implies that he's "broken" a great many people in the past; a tactic to instil fear and a helpless sense of inevitability in them both (torture doesn't work as a reliable way of extracting information; this is stated in dialogue in other Trek episodes such as 'Chain of Command' so the assertion here is at least not that- but what it does do is demoralise the public involved in resistances like this one.)

Later, B'Elanna is still trying to escape (do the guards know she's doing this? Are they just not intervening?) and she hears him screaming. Tuvok is someone who considers letting others witness him lose control over his exterior a huge (indecent, violating, humiliating) vulnerability, and the fact that he's the one being tortured is Not Insignificant in this context but like- it could've been the other way round. And B'Elanna knows that. It could've been her, and perhaps a small, scared part of her is relieved that it wasn't her, which is an awful way to feel (and if there's one thing B'Elanna hates, it's feeling like a coward). Also- the sheer violation of this, for B'Elanna to have witnessed him in this state, against her will- to later see him bloodied and weakened and flung in a cell, to have heard him screaming in pain- without his consent, knowing she can never un-witness it, knowing it wasn't her fault but still being put in such a situation where she has now played that role... Does this experience forcibly rewrite their respective conceptualisations of each other? Was Tuvok even thinking of her- somewhere outside, listening, worrying, blaming herself, fearing for herself, feeling ashamed, feeling so aware of him and her and the shared humiliation of this- when he was in there? Did seeing her upon coming back out change things? Could it ever change things? Did her presence, even as an outsider, whose memories of this event will always be (visually, at least) the constructs of her imagination- somehow make what happened in there real? Does her role as witness- and her memory thereby carrying some sort of legitimisation of what happened to him now, however warped and coloured by her own perspective and fears and embarrassment- make things better for Tuvok? Does it make things worse? Would he rather have endured this in secret? Would it have been better if she were a total stranger? Would it have been worse? And does any of this even matter when, for a moment, your life (your personhood, your goals, your presence) was completely reduced to what you "must endure"?

AUGRIS: We don't have to ask your friend any more questions, if you give us the answers.  TORRES: I told you I don't.  (Torres stops herself from hitting Augris, who leaves.)  TORRES: I'm sorry. I guess I always assumed that Vulcans didn't feel pain like the rest of us. That you were able to block it out somehow. Until I heard. Was that you I heard?

And the way B'Elanna's voice breaks when she asks this, as if she was still somehow hoping the answer would be no... There are complexities to this which again I don't feel like I'm smart enough to articulate, but like- yes, B'Elanna would like to hear that it wasn't him because that would mean her friend wasn't tortured "that badly", he wasn't put through "enough pain" to scream that way, and it's easier and more comfortable to think of violence (and violation) as something you can rank on a scale, and the lower on it Tuvok's experience ranks, the better! the more easy it will be for them to "move past" this! - but also, there's this element of "I want the answer to be no because that would mean I would not have been a participant in your humiliation, just some stranger's whose voice I don't have a face to put to, which is much better than having to know what you (my friend, my colleague, my respected senior officer, someone I will have to see every day on the bridge, someone I know prefers to keep vulnerabilities hidden even deeper than anyone else I know) sound like when you scream. But also... it doesn't really matter, does it...? Whatever he says, there always was still a moment- however brief- where B'Elanna heard a man screaming in agony, and thought it could've been Tuvok. And in that moment, that possibility was created. Now, it will always exist. That moment will always have happened. It will always have done something to her. It will always exist between them; an ugly, uncomfortable bond.

And this is getting into even more things I'm not smart enough to articulate, but like- it's pretty significant to me that B'Elanna is one of the few characters who never actually tries to poke Tuvok into Doing An Emotion, even normally. She doesn't consider trying to get him to crack an entertaining pastime, unlike others (and I'm sure her experiences of feeling like an outsider- always- feeling Very Visible As Klingon, play a role in this- "all they ever saw was my forehead" does not lend itself so kindly to "let's see if we can get Mr. Vulcan to smile", "why, Tuvok, it seems you've been corrupted by Human (read: default) rituals after all!"- it's a light-hearted joke for many, sure, but what if Tuvok genuinely considers the idea of smiling in the presence of others reflective of a humiliating loss of control and deeply debasing?) I think it's pretty clear from canon that he's just being himself; he's not trying to be a killjoy or trying to be mean, he's just Vulcan. And this is one of the few moments in Trek I can think of when a Vulcan's perceived "control" over their emotions is not connected with their reluctance to laugh or cry or say something sentimental, but... this. B'Elanna is shocked, she's horrified, she demands an explanation as to how he can possibly go through something like this and not feel the desire to "fight back" in a way she understands- and the way she cannot grant him the pretence of not having witnessed, here, the way she can't just shove this in a box, pretend she never heard, because she's just so fundamentally honest- and Tuvok (who is also so fundamentally honest), in a painful moment of openness, tells her exactly what his reasoning is. He lets her see. He lets her hear; on his own terms. He wants for her to understand (for her to witness?) his (very Vulcan) distinction between resistance and endurance; his understanding of endurance as its own form of resistance. Idk it's such a quietly powerful and like- devastating- moment for me... So many people try, over and over, thoughout the show, to get Tuvok to break his Vulcansona- try to make him smile, make him say tender things, make him get irritated- just to see if they can do it. Just to see if he'll ever crack. I bet B'Elanna wishes she never had.

#sometimes I write essays NOT at 3am! haha #cw torture mention #I'm also thinking (of course) about that scene between g@rak and 0do in The Die Is Cast #which is slightly different (but only in terms of technicalities) as a case of Torturer As Witness #it's not just the physical discomfort that thingamabob puts 0do through that's torture ofc #it is very much g@rak's PRESENCE in that room #they didn't bring up the whole ''his eyes'' thing for nothing #it is very much about Being Seen (and being Watched and Witnessed and Observed) #in a moment so humiliating and (for lack of a better term) dehumanising #also it is heavily implied that g@rak volunteered to do this not only to prove to Tain (but mostly to himself) that he still could #but also out of a sort of protectiveness over 0do #there's this element of ''I'm doing this so someone worse than me doesn't do it instead because they will likely kill you'' denial/self- #justification? which ultimately makes the scene about g@rak (and his own moment of ''breaking'') #and not 0do (would 0do have preferred to ''break'' in front of a total stranger? we don't know! it's irrelevant! and that irrelevance is #possibly the most violent thing about that whole sequence phew) #something something Presence As Violence something wish I could word this more intelligently ugh #I keep thinking of stuff that happens (casually) in police stations around me all the time... #voy

[eriexplosion]

I'm trying so hard not to continue an argument on Reddit with someone that insists on being wrong because it's a pointless endeavor but also I'm feeling the bite of my terminal need to be right so I'm just.

But to myself. In my head. Not letting myself type it.

#eri talks #i am okay with Tech is dead theories actually but i do so hate being told I'm in denial because i disagree #you can just think that's the case or that it should be the case without being Rude to everyone that disagrees #no one will know for 20 more days anyway!

[frostfairysteve]

there are so many things i need to do, but i'm five seconds away from a breakdown, and the closer that i get to my birthday, the more my mood will fluctuate

so that's fun

#i'm probably not gonna get hrt because i'm nonbinary “:)” #which i had started to accept even if i think it's bullshit #but getting the formal letter home about the denial just sucked #i'm gonna finish watching the bear and then try to do at least some dishes

[non-un-topo]

Went to a support group specifically for FTMs last night and had a good time. Surprised myself by tearing up. That's not a very cis sign, is it

#denial is an oppressive power #i know what i am lol. and still. #i've got a lot of internalized transphobia that i wasn't completely aware i had. not brave enough to air it out in the group #for fear of saying something 'bad'. everyone else seems to have it figured out already. most are on T. #i just don't want the group to sort of influence me in one direction. #< a ha. internalized transphobia. also i don't think i need their help in that department. i'm already mentally there. just blocking myself #a research project i'm doing atm is really bringing these feelings to the front. #how am i 26 and living far away from my parents and i'm STILL like 'i can't disappoint my mommy' #i know the answer. family baggage and high expectations etc. snore. #someone in the group kept telling me 'you don't have to go on T just because everyone else is doing it' and like........................... #idk if i found most of their thoughts to be very helpful. they just kind of liked to talk and were clearly struggling with insecurities. #but i had to fight that urge to be defensive. that is not how i feel and that is not what's even happening. #this person had a problem with putting words into people's mouths. don't do that in a support group lol #but other than that they were fine and everyone was super nice. it helped to talk to an older trans guy. #i'll say it again. if i wasn't fucking 5 foot 2 !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! fuck!!!!!!!!!!!!

[muninnhuginn]

For character bingo: Camilla Hect

Thanks for asking! I accidentally deleted my initial response to this so I'm going to go hide in a corner, I think. Anyway, I used little spiral things so hopefully it's clear what I went for.

Honestly, when I first read GtN, I liked Fifth and Sixth House but it was in a kind of "we hardly knew ye" way. So I thought Cam was neat and I thought Pal was super neat, but I was much more into the mystery aspects of the book. It actually took me until NtN for me to actually become properly attached to Cam, but I suspect I'll understand a lot more about her when I get around to a full reread of the series.

I think with Cam, she's generally the most sensible person in the room, unless it's about Pal and then her objectivity goes out the window. But her objectivity goes out of the window in a self-aware way? She knows she's biased here and she doesn't care to shield herself against it, which is why it's so tragic when she has to face the consequences of that. You can't talk about Cam without also talking about Pal because they're so codependent. That's why Paul was inevitable.

"If anything happens to them" and "canon isn't real", well, let's just say I have some mixed feelings about Paul. I'll have to see what happens with them come Alecto, but at least as of Nona, it feels like both of campal are gone and it's an irreversible reaction as far as we know. And yes, it was their choice. It seemed like their only route to some form of survival.

But Paul still told Nona that they would pick an option that neither Cam nor Pal would. What is it like to lose yourself to the very one you would dedicate yourself to? To mutually subsume each other until you're neither pink nor blue but purple? They aren't either of Cam or Pal. They're gone and someone entirely new is in their place.

#castielrisingabove #the locked tomb spoilers #nona the ninth spoilers #ask meme #in terms of everyone being wrong about them I'm not wading into that discourse but merely acknowledging its existence #also also on reread I really want to think more about what was meant about playing family because yeah it was aimed at pyrrha #but you can't tell me that cam wasn't also playing into it too. a family made up of denial that no one wants to fracture #was trying so hard not to make a particular reference but in the end I just made it bc even tho fusion as a concept differs across media #I do think the wording was fitting to this situation