#but at least something has become created

[dalesramblingsblog]

I know we've been commenting since The Star Beast on the irony of Russell T. Davies taking Disney money and using it to say trans/gay rights as part of one of the biggest British television events of 2023/2024, but I think Dot and Bubble fully opened my eyes to something I've been quietly contemplating since at least the time of The Giggle.

I am genuinely convinced, knowing everything I know about Davies' comments on the state of the BBC and the kinds of art he's been making of late, that Series 14 is a brilliant and purposeful piece of artistic subversion that has taken Disney's money to not just say trans rights, but to actively comment upon the cold, empty yawning abyss that is modern MCU franchisecrafting.

Time and time again, the show has returned to the idea that that sort of "artistry" is completely anathema in a cosmic horror sense to the very fabric of Doctor Who. The Toymaker is an arbiter of rules and continuity, who threatens to turn Doctor Who into a knock-off of The Avengers before everything collapses back into a game of catch with the Doctor in his underwear.

73 Yards is quite explicitly about the loneliness, emptiness and futility that accompanies human beings trying to impose rational, ordered frameworks and narratives on a fundamentally chaotic and strange universe. The very fact that the episode exists in a media ecosystem where hackish YouTubers will be falling over themselves to make "Ending Explained" videos for it *is part of the point*.

And then we have Dot and Bubble, where the modern glut of franchisal/social media (and the two are often close to interchangeable, as proven by this very blog post) is explicitly shown to have an anaesthetising effect that insulates people from real-world suffering. But it's more than that, because that same anaesthesia ties into expressions of actual, direct racism that are so baked into the foundations of that media and who it tends to uplift (white, conventionally attractive and implicitly straight people) that they become indistinguishable from said suffering.

After years of Doctor Who trying its hand at being a generic MCU-esque property and fans creating mockups of Phase-esque release timelines with a million spin-offs focusing on the Wacky Adventures of Miss Evangelista or whatever other bullshit fandom constantly clamours for, here is an era that puts its foot down and says "Actually, the foundational elements of that brand of media consumption are materially connected to the constant racist or sexist backlash you see against the casting of Ncuti Gatwa or Jodie Whittaker or Kelly Marie Tran."

And it is absolutely, positively, 100% correct.

How, then, does Doctor Who resist the creeping power of this monolithic cultural entity? In a world where studios seriously try to argue for the artistic worth of tripe like Morbius or Madame Web or Ant-Man and the Wasp: Quantumania, what is the appropriate response?

The same response that it's always had, the thing that it's been doing for sixty years. Getting people to learn how to run down corridors from hokey aliens, hoping against hope that those people don't turn out to be massive fucking racists and telling them exactly where they can shove it if they are, and instilling the children of the world with a healthy dose of fear and light-hearted humour.

Welcome back, Doctor Who. God, I have missed you.

#doctor who #dale's ramblings #fifteenth doctor #ruby sunday #ncuti gatwa #millie gibson #s40e5: dot and bubble #russell t davies #dw spoilers #doctor who spoilers #also i just realised that this episode dropped on the first day of pride month just for maximum synergy with #soulless corporate culture's masqueradng as friendly inclusivity and connection #hello rainbow capitalism what are you doing here

[agirlwithglam]

Do you ever feel sick and don't feel like doing anything when the day before you told yourself you were going to do a glow up, live always the best ecc..?

yes definitely! unless i'm actually sick and incapable of doing anything, i will at least try. you didn't ask for advice, but here we go anyways. when i feel like that, heres a few things i do:

how to do things when you don't feel like doing them: (from personal experience)

believe that you can do anything. dont roll your eyes at me! dont skip this part either. this is the main point that gets me going every single time. i truly believe that i can do anything, that i am capable of literally anything that i want to achieve. if i want it, i will have it. that is the first mindset you must have when it comes to this.

start small/ make it fun. yes, ofc i said this. if you can't do a full 1 hour workout, do some pushups/squats/lunges and go for a bike ride or a walk with a friend. what i do when im going bike riding with a friend is we go to a mall and buy drinks there! so make it fun! adding friends to whatever you need to do certainly makes it fun. another thing you can do is if you need to read, you can create a cosy spot in your room with scented candles and a little snack and everything and sit and read there. just the idea of it gets me excited!

treat yourself like a project/ robot. now THIS is something that has certainly gotten my some discipline. we as humans have emotions and feelings and moods. sometimes we don't wanna do stuff, and we actually cave into that. if you promised yourself that you would change your life, switch off your emotions and moods. treat yourself like a robot or an "apprentice" that you're training to become the best.

reward yourself! so you can either reward the action (like reading or studying) or the outcome (like finishing a book or getting a high mark on a test). decide what works the best for you. example: you don't wanna study? you can either a) reward yourself for studying with some free time with friends or watching your fav show or b) you can reward your self by the score you get on the test (ex if you got higher than 80%= a certain thing on your wish list, above 90%= a better thing on your wish list, 100%= the thing you've wanted for ages) you don't wanna read? you can either.. a) reward yourself for reading for x amount of minutes or b) you can reward yourself for finishing a book in a certain amount of time.

alter egosss. i know, i mention this quite often, but trust me this actually gives such a burst of emotion! embody someone else/ a different version of you that can best handle the situation. im gonna make a whole post on alter egos soon cus i mention it in a lot of my posts.

thats it for now! i hope this helped <3

btw heres a big master-post to how to get things done when you dont want to (not by me)

#agirlwithglam🎀✨ #vanilla self improvement⭐️ #vanilla's pookies💌 #vanilla asks #it girl #it girl energy #self improvement #becoming that girl #girlboss #self development #dream girl #dream life #high value mindset #discipline #discipline tips #how to get things done #becoming her #being productive #glow up #glow up tips #high value woman #best version of yourself #that girl #level up journey #self help #self growth #vanilla girl #up levelling #wongunism #it girl mentality

[codenamesazanka]

What is up with this obsession over the "other half" of Decay. Less so now that Shigaraki is like dead-dead, so I guess it was copium, but still. So Decay was derived from the Overhaul quirk. Okay. It was stripped of the restorative half; then added with the five finger activation and lack of control. By this point, it is its own quirk.

(It's the same with Kurogiri/Shirakumo. Shirakumo's quirk was cloud generation and manipulation; then it got turned into the ability to bend the fabric of space. It's its own quirk at that point.)

I don't see the need for any more connection than that? Decay came from Overhaul - it's an artificial quirk AFO created to be a super dick. That's where Decay came from. It's somewhat fortunate(?) that it wasn't naturally occurring, which means there wasn't some other poor bastard out there who probably also had a tough time with it, but just the fact that it's 'half' the Overhaul quirk makes me wonder if Overhaul didn't at least 'half' a tough time with it as well.

Which btw - the reveal also confirms that AFO and the Doc were also responsible for Overhaul's own early childhood... which no one seems to care about.

Hello??? Shigaraki has to be referred to as groomed and abused and brainwashed every other sentence in order to induce the greatest level of sympathy for him (because apparently otherwise if he ever had any hint of agency or genuine malice at all, fuck him and he's not as much a victim, I guess???), and the orphanage Touya wakes up in has cult vibes where he can't even leave, but Overhaul growing up in such an orphanage is not worthy of attention. Like you gotta wonder how Doc got his hand on Overhaul's quirk - best case scenario it was from a simple blood draw at a routine doctor's check up; worse case scenario is that he was experimenting on these kids, even if subtly.

It's in this orphanage that Overhaul reads about quirks and gets the idea that it's a sickness. Was that somehow from the instruction of the orphanage staff that's under Ujiko's employment? Was it because something happened to Overhaul that caused him to end up in an orphanage? Kid didn't just sprout from the ground - he must have had parents, a family. But here he is, in an orphanage, gloomily reading about quirks while all the other kids are playing outside. Kouta resentfully says quirks are freaky and Deku and the story bends over backwards to prove to him that he's wrong, and violent quirks will save his life, so he should love Heroes; it's obvious that Overhaul hating quirks is a flaw.

Later, it looks like Overhaul would run away from this orphanage too, and then gets picked up by the Yakuza. Luckily it was a very honorable yakuza who treated him with kindness, but listen to that sentence - """"luckily"""" he gets picked up by a nice mobster who raised him. And Overhaul is so affected by this kindness it gives him a devotion that turns twisted. I mean, I think the guy definitely has his own selfish issues, but he really does care about Pops a lot and still thinks of what he's doing as being for Pop's and the Yakuza's sake.

I know no one cares about Overhaul and probably thinks it's even funny he loses his arms and goes half insane in Tartarus, that that's just karma for abusing and medically torturing a little girl, but it's very clear that he didn't start out that way, and if things had been different, he might not have grown up to become a Villain. That's true for nearly all the Villains we see on the story. And that's why there's such a big push to save the League, because of that "if only, if only". They're sympathetic and maybe redeemable.

But unsympathetic and irredeemable villains like Muscular and Overhaul were the best training wheels for Deku to work up to saving Shigaraki. If he can reach out a hand to those freaks, he can do it for not-as-much-a-freak Shigaraki. Even if Deku fails in trying to save Muscular and Overhaul, if he had tried, he could've learned something from those encounters that he could later apply to Shigaraki. But Deku said nope and then crashes when he has to save Shigaraki. Sorry—not even Shigaraki, but the ghost of a Crying Child.

Muscular insists that there's nothing but blood and violence inside of him, so Deku gives up on him because he can't psychically dive into Muscular's head to prove him wrong; later, Shigaraki insists that he overcame the Crying Child and he wants destruction, and fortunately Deku doesn't give up on him, but only because he can psychically dive into Shigaraki's head to prove him wrong - except it's this exact act that brings back AFO and drives the train wreck into the conclusion that is Shigaraki's body crumbling to nothing.

Overhaul begs to see Pops and wants to apologize, demonstrating some tiny broken strand of caring and goodness inside of him, but that's not someone Deku knows or cares about so it means nothing to him except that he can test whether Overhaul is worthy of any measure of forgiveness (and so rewarded by a Pops visit) by apologizing to Eri; later, Shigaraki gets his hatred smashed but stays the leader to the League, and Deku seems flummoxed by this, while using his last words to the guy he wanted to save to yammer on about not forgiving him and ending the cycle of sadness by stopping Shiagarki.

(Plus like. Overhaul has hurt sooooo many people other than Eri. He used and manipulated many of the Shie Hassaikai too. But once again, none of them are people Deku knows or cares about so they don't matter and they don't need an apology.)

This got really off topic because it started out about people focused on the Overhaul-Decay then turned into a Deku rant (only semi-sorry), but. Actually maybe not. People only care about the Overhaul-Decay thing because the Overhaul quirk might bring Shigaraki back, because Shigaraki deserves it; meanwhile the actual holder of the Overhaul quirk is ignored, because Overhaul doesn't deserve any comeback, or anything at all. It's really just people only caring about certain Villains because they personally like them and feel sorry for them. Which is fine! Go have your blorbo.

But like, ironically, caring only about your villain blorbo's situation in the context of the wider story, when discussing the story using the context of abuse and marginalization and who is deserving of saving, is the same as what Deku and Hawks did - singling out one victim out of many as worthy of being saved, and condemning every other Villain. And how did that turn out for Deku and Hawks?

#of course my interpretation can be and is probably totally wrong #watch me next chapter when it turns out muscular and overhaul were not supposed to be training wheels at all #and none of this was the intent #point still stands tho #either you save everyone or you'll be saving no one #nalslastworkingbraincell #sorry for the 5 am rant #it's posted at 7 am but i wrote it at 5 am

[tarteeee]

ive recently been playing Detroit become human again just to feel something and it's just so happened to coincide with my obsession with one piece and my brain is going places. zosan places.

so perhaps...DBH zosan au? long post under the cut

Im imagining that Judge is some main engineer at CyberLife and created a line of prototype military androids. he starts off with Reiju, perfects the tech then in one fell swoop creates 1234ji. BUT, as per canon, Sanji is defective. Against all protocol and logic, Sanji has somehow had a caretaker (cooking, cleaning, babysitting) android program installed and it Just. Won't. Delete. It's Sora, Judge's wife and fellow engineer who hates that part of her work is going to be used to harm people rather than help them.

Judge can't fix whatever the hell's wrong with Sanji so he sends him to some local police station, figuring that it's way too expensive (and sort of illegal) to destroy property that's technically not his and the rest of his programming dedicated to stealth, reconnaissance, and data gathering could be put to use. 124ji gets instead shipped to do military work.

What neither Judge nor Sora know is that Sanji deviated, he'd deviated from the beginning. The program won't be deleted from his code because he doesn't let it. He wants to try helping people, He's relieved he's being sent away but really would rather just settle down with some family and at least get to try some of the things he knows how to do now. Cooking at least looks like fun...

At the police station he gets partnered up with Zoro, a gruff young upstart that has put away so many criminals people think he's some sort of demon. Zoro has his own beliefs on androids, doesn't like that despite the fact that they look human, they're cold and unfeeling. He can't shake off the fact that they're just machines after his childhood best friend fell down the stairs in the middle of the night and a glitch in their household androids code made it unable to alert emergency services despite the fact that she fell right in front of it. Nothing quite sparks a hatred for androids like knowing that a normal human would have immediately jumped in to help, no program necessary.

Needless to say he's not the happiest about being saddled with the android, and gets even more pissed off when it tries to tell him how bad his self-care habits are. Sanji doesn't actually care, its only programmed to. He's not human, it's even numbered for fuck's sake.

I imagine they'd have a lot of tension, with Sanji trying his hardest to both take care of the people around him but also not act too far out of what he's supposed to do because he doesn't want others to find out he's deviated. And he really doesn't understand Zoro, who despises any help or attempt to get closer from him but only barely manages to hide a smirk and stifle laughter when Sanji accidentally lets out some snide comment about an annoying coworker. In his mind palace, zen garden area, the person who meets him switches from Sora to Judge, depending on what issues are at the forefront of his task list and he gets along well with Robin, a crime analyst and her husband Franky, who works in the precincts' IT and tech department.

For the other androids obviously Luffy would take Markus' place, wanting to gain legal freedom and rights for androids. He's inspired from the freedom he saw in his previous owner, Shanks, and even got to have his straw hat after Shanks told him to run and chase his dreams. His revolution is backed by other androids he finds along the way. Koby, who wants to have a peaceful revolution and not be shunned by human society, Trafalgar Law, who urges him that humans won't listen to reason and that a bloody battle is inevitable. Usopp, despite being afraid of being deactivated follows Luffy and says that he trusts his judgement and knows that there are understanding humans out there, like his previous owner Kaya. Brook and Chopper join Luffy as well, they were androids who were a model skeleton and an animatronic made to have kids feel at ease at a doctors' office, respectively. The three of them are not water proof models ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Nami, I feel, would take Kara's place. She comes to at a CyberLife store and is taken home by Arlong who uses her for housekeeping. At Arlong's place she finds Vivi, a girlfriend that he's obviously abusing. She deviates the same night that she find him hitting Vivi. They run away together and the less that's said about the state they left Arlong in, the better. They try to take refuge at Crocodile's place but find out that he scraps down androids for parts and sells them. There they find Jinbei, a strong android whose model was originally made for carrying heavy loads at docks and stuff, and escape together. They later find out that Vivi was an android girlfriend that Arlong had bought a while ago.

#one piece #one piece au #detroit become human #vinsmoke sanji #black leg sanji #zosan #zoro x sanji #roronoa zoro #one piece nami #op #nico robin #franky one piece #soul king brook #one piece usopp #vivi nefertari #tony tony chopper #first son of the sea jinbe #trafalgar law

[thisonehere]

OMG I HAVE SUCH ANGST IDEA

HOW ABOUT WRITING OF RUIN JOHNNY&SONYA MARRIAGE, AND HOW JOHNNY FOUND CONSOLATION WITH KENSHI AND HOW JOHNNY HAVE PROBLEMS WITH ACCEPTING HIS FEELINGS FOR A MAN

IF HE AFRAID JUDGMENT AND REACTION OF HIS EX WIFE, FRIENDS, DAUGHTER

OMG ITS SO BADLY AND PAINFUL 😰

Omg, I love it 😭

Blindsided

A/n: Aw yes, Johnshi, the superior Cage ship (sorry CageBlade shippers out there, please don't rip my head off). Anyway, I kept it vague on which timeline this takes place in. Now, let the agnst -filled torturing of these characters commence!

Tags: Request, Mk, MK AU, Ship: Johnshi, angst

C/w: Bed rotting, mlm, internalized homophobia, angst (when I say angst I really mean it), alluding to possible self harm, self loathing, grief, poor hygiene

Johnny and Sonya had the picture perfect marriage. They were crazy for each other, travelled the world togethe, and lovingky raised their daughter to a total baddasss. Truly, everything is perfect...or at least that's what Johnny wants people to believe. The false reality he created on social media, the illusion of the life he wanted but could never have.

The truth? Their marriage was dying, or had already been dead the moment they said "I do." Johnny loved Sonya with all his heart, but he could feel their marriage crumbling apart just by looking at her eyes. Her eyes were neither scorn nor adoration, there was just...indifference. it was worse than anything else she could give. He could deal with disdain, he could deal with bad reviews and hate online, but not apathy. That means it's over, that there's no more fighting.

They did get into a lot of arguments, though even were stiff and lifeless. A lot of times over nothing, Sonya because she found annoyance in the slightest thing he does, Johnny because, well, because he just wanted to feel something. He didn't care that it was hatred, he just wanted to feel some form of passion from her. Often he lies awake next to, though she's present Johnny might as have been alone. He was so cold and alone that he swore that if he looked at her side of the bed she'd be gone.

When they first met Johnny, things seemed amazing between the two, there was so much passion between them Sure Sonya didn't like him...a-and he did harass her a lot until she finally agreed to date him...but surely they had love at some point...right?

"Baby, wait, please!" Johnny cried as he chased after Sonya down the stairs. "What did I say about calling me that?" Sonya rolled her eyes as she march down the stairs to the door, where her bags were. Johnny's eyes widen in horror at the sight of it. This can't be happening, it just can't. She can't be leaving, not now, not after everything they've built together. They made a home, raised a daughter to become a badass, and protected earthrealm countless times.

"You can't seriously be leaving me!" He says as he finds the speed to jump in front of her in hopes of blocking her path. He tried to flash his ever charming and charismatic. Maybe acting the way he used to would bring something back. But Sonya just rolled her eyes and pushed past him. "Look, Johnny, I can't...I can't just do this anymore." She tried to articulate, she wasn't the best at romance. She was actually terrible at it. Possibly another reason for this reason this relationship couldn't work.

"Bab-Sonya...please, just talk to me." He voice is more desperate now. Sonya can't leave, she just can't, she means so much to him. He has had many wives over the, many of them only lasting only, for what, like a month? Johnny wasn't too bothered by most of them, he had already checked by the time they ended. But with Sonya, he wasn't ready, he still wanted this work. But as he stared into her eyes, he saw the same look that he had when he was done. "What about Cassie? She-"

"Cassie's old enough now that she can handle it."

Dammit, she's right. At this point Johnny was pulling at straws to get her stay. But nothing was working. "Look Johnny, I'm sorry. But I can't do this anymore...I don't...uh..." Love you, Johnny finishes in his head. Sonya didn't mean to hurt, but that didn't mean she wasn't. "Sonya..." Johnny tried to reach out to her, but she backed away. "I'm sorry." And with that, she turned, grabbed her bags and walked out the doors. Johnny watched in horror as she gave one him last look as she closed the door behind her.

The next few weeks were hell for Johnny. Many grew worried for him when less and less was seen of him. Many of his fans were going into a frenzy as they speculated about what happened to him, maybe he was planning a major surprise, a new secret project perhaps. But the reality was that he couldn't even build up the strength to get out of bed.

Many of his up and coming projects were delayed or even cancelled. Cassie filled his phone with hundreds of missed calls. If she was even able to reach him, he'd give the same "Everything's fine, I'm just feeling a little sick" bullshit excuse. She knew that the divorce would have a negative effect on it, but she didn't know it would be that bad. She herself was hurting because of her parents splitting, but it made her even worse to see how badly he'd been effected.

If she could only see her father right now, oh the ways she'd be devastated. He shifts unfortunately in his bed, trying to find some form of comfort, but rest evades him at every turn. He hasn't showered, he hasn't even changed out of the clothes he wore that horrible day. He hasn't eaten much, his breath stank of alcohol, his eyes died red with tears.

Each day since Sonya left him has been more painful than the last, this day was no exception. Johnny got out of bed, with a painful moan, he stretched and then went into the kitchen. Not to find food, but to drench his throat with more expensive liquor. He rummaged through the collection of wine he had grabbed from the wine cellar a few days prior, already almost everything was gone, save for a few expensive wines. The one he pucked was just an ordinary seeming red wine, but it was the same wine he and Sonya picked up during their honeymoon away in some country maybe an entire realm. It was something he wanted to share with Sonya on their wedding anniversary. But now he needs it to console him for they're divorce.

He downed it straight from the bottle with a hopeful gulp. Maybe this would numb he pain, make the hole inside of him full. Or at least make him forget the state his heart was reduced to. It wasn't shattered, it just felt gone, it left With Sonya the day she walked out the door.

He was alone now, the house echoed at each gulp he made, its walls vibrated with the echoes of him throwing the bottle in a moment of blind fury. "FUCK" He finally exerts, he throws almost every last thing he sees in any direction he can. It all shatters as Johnny fell to his knees and began to sob.

Oh God...he's alone. No one is here for him. Cassie, Jax, and all his other friends are miles away, (or at least that's what it feels like.)

Why, Johnny wonders, why is (the) God(s) so cruel? Why would they leave me like this? Why would they make him be alone, unloved and un

*knock*

*knock*

*knock*

Johnny's ears piped up at this, his head jerked and his eyes darted to the direction of the door. Who could that possibly be?

----

Why am I doing this? Kenshi wandered to himself as he banged on Johnny's front door. He and Johnny were friends, they worked together to protect Earthrealm, and went on countless adventures with each other , yes, but they haven't spoken in so long. Something had happened between the two, a rift formed that pushed Kenshi away from him. Sonya, the left was Sonya, or Johnny's interest in her to be precise

Kenshi didn't take this pairing seriously at first, after all, Sonya hated Johnny and Johnny couldn't take a hint. The likelihood of the two being together was so unlikely, the mere concept of it filled Kenshi with a strange bitter and angry feeling. Kenshi hated when Johnny flirted with Sonya, he hated the way Johnny looked at her, he hated the way she began to return his gaze, he just hated it all. He didn't know why but he just did. Perhaps it was because of this hatred that caused him and Johnny to fall apart. They hadn't spoken much since the wedding, but when he heard about the divorce and how badly it hit him, he couldn't help but feel sorry for him. The image of him languishing in agony in his bed, his face soaked with tears. For some reason the image of him being in pain hurt him for some reason.

So now he's here, at Johnny's door with a box of chocolate. Why the chocolate? He didn't know, it felt wrong to come by empty handed, and bringing chocolate felt right. This is a breakup he's dealing with, so why not?

As he waited for Johnny to open the door, he felt his hands getting sweaty. He felt...nervous for a reason. Why? He's coming here to check on Johnny, it's not like he's coming to ask him on a date.

His ears immediately picked when he heard hurriedly footsteps come to the door, no doubt Johnny was hoping it might have Sonya at the door. The door swings open and Johnny's head pops out. Kenshi didn't need to see to know that Johnny had a giant and hopeful smile on his face. He truly thought he'd see Sonya at his door.

"Kenshi..." The disappointment sinks in. His voice was low and hoarse, no joy or at could be heard. Only a returning sadness. No quips, no puns, or any other usual Cage annoying charm. Johnny sounded drained, lifeless. No doubt he looked that way as well. Kenshi's heart sank at this, actually witnessing Johnny in this state hurt him a greater deal then he expected. "I-uh-I brought you chocolate." Kenshi spouts abruptly as he hands Johnny the box.

"Uh... Thanks." He awkwardly accepts the box with a nod. "I-It's caramel. Well, milk chocolate and some other flavors, b-but mainly caramel." This is weird, Kenshi thought, why am I so nervous?

"Listen, I heard what happened between you and Sonya." At that second, Kenshi felt Johnny's shoulders slump down and his already fragile spirit collapsed even further. "And I heard how hard it's been on you. I just came to check on you and see how things were going, if you were alright."

"Yeah..."

"Cassie's worried about you."

"I know."

"We're all worried about you actually."

"Oh...o-okay."

God, this was so awkward between the two. Kenshi never was good at handling situations like this, but he has to. He has to help Johnny. "Do you want to talk about? I'm here for you if you want...you know...talk. N-Not just about the divorce, j-just anything in particular." At this moment, Kenshi's face blushes with embarrassment. He was fumbling his words. Hw just wanted to put his head into a hole and hide there forever.

It's not going to work, I messed up so badly.

"I'd like that. C-could we do it right now, actually?"

Well, what do you know? It worked.

---

"It hasn't been easy lately, it's actually been hell." Kenshi shifts unfortunately in the love seat he and Johnny sat on. The other couches were too messy to be sat so the two sat on this tiny couch, it was meant for him and Sonya but now Kenshi was taking up the other space.

"Out of all my marriages, I don't know, I thought this one would've worked. I loved her so much, the moment I laid my eyes on her, I thought about our whole future already." Johnny picked at the chocolate's in the box, hoping that maybe something in there might make him feel less bitter inside. He avoided Kenshi's face, he didn't know why, but something about him made Johnny shy. It's been like that since he first met him, he couldn't place this feeling for Kenshi, all that he knew is that he made him feel shy and Johnny didn't like that feeling.

Kenshi just sat there, listening attentively as if every word of his heartbroken rambling was the most important things in the world. This alighted the warmth inside of him, it made Johnny feel a little bit better, like he mattered or something. "I-I wanted it to work, god, I wanted it to work so bad. I thought everything was going amazingly, we had an awesome wedding, a literal god attended, we had a badass daughter who kicked another god's ass. We've had rough patches in the relationship, true, but I thought we'd work it out." Johnny felt cold inside again, he set aside the chocolate box, nothing in there would make him feel any better.

How....how did everything go to hell? He wondered. When he was with Sonya, the sky felt like it was the limit, things weren't perfect, but this wasn't that bad...right?

"Maybe it was always hell, your head was just too much in the clouds to notice." Kenshi said abruptly.

How did he...

'Telepath'

Right.

"A long time ago, I was in line with some bad people...but I thought everything was okay. I didn't care to notice the red flags, the warning sign, they all missed. Or I refused to notice them at least." Johnny shifted his seat this time. "And what's the point of this story?"

"I know how much you cared about Sonya, I wished you two had worked it out to" the words stung like poison in his mouth, "B-but maybe it just wasn't meant to be...maybe things weren't as perfect for Sonya as it was for you..." Johnny didn't say a single thing for a few moments, maybe he was still processing these words or maybe he heard them. but was in denial. Kenshi once again shifted in his seat. Finally Johnny gives a response, single tear.

"I just...I just wanted it to work. I wanted her to...to love me..." The tears grew heavier, his breath began to get shorter and shorter. "Why...why didn't she love me?" And at that moment, Johnny completely broke down. Tears rushed out of his eyes like a water faucet after it been turned on. He basically shrunk, reduced to a whimpering mess of snot and tears.

*Crack*

There it was, Kenshi's heart breaking. "Johnny..." He started, but he couldn't find the right words that would help him. Only his actions could help now. Without thinking, Kenshi lurched forward and gently wrapped his arms around Johnny, pulling him close in an embrace. "Hey..." Kenshi uttered softly under his breath, he hasn't done anything like since Suchin. He would hold her if she ever cried, which an often thing, so it made it all the more special when he did. It's strange to do so with Johnny, but it feels right. "I know...trust me, I know..."

Kenshi is taken by surprise as Johnny quickly wraps his arms around him, returning his embrace. Johnny's sobbing began to calm down as well as his whimpering and sniffles. Kenshi feels Johnny basically melt in his arms and he in Johnny's. And at that second, everything just felt right, like this is where they belonged...Kenshi lost himself in Johnny, and maybe Johnny did too.

In that second it felt like something clicked inside of both of them. Kenshi pulled back just little, just enough so that Johnny's faces could meet. They stared at each other for what felt like eternity. Before they stop to think, Kenshi's lips gently touch Johnny's. The whole world felt like new at that second, yet familiar at the same time. It felt like paradise as they sat there as they kissed, enjoying the warmth of the other...

But paradise ended as quickly as it started. Without warning Johnny rips away, a horrified look spreads across his, he stares at Kenshi with a disturbed as he realizes what just happened.

"Get out..."

"Johnny, I-"

"KENSHI, GET OUT!"

---

Okay, what the hell was that!? Johnny thought as he paced across the floor. His heart was racing a thousand miles, his head was spinning, this was all so hard to process. He-he and Kenshi…impossible. It can’t be, Kenshi’s a man! But he kissed him…and he-he liked it. No! Kenshi’s a man! Johnny, the renown ladies, can’t like men. He can’t be gay….c-can he?

No! He can’t! What would Sonya say? How would Cassie react? Jax, Kung Lao, Liu Kang, Raiden, what do they think? His fans, hell, Hollywood, what they all do if they find out that Johnny Cage kissed a guy? Ah yes, that's right, they'd think less of him, no longer will they have any respect or love for their once golden boy, they'll throw him to the side, a place where he is out of sight and out of mind.

He could just see it, his daughter and Sonya looking down at him in disgust. They turn their backs on him and he'll never see them again. All his friends distancing themselves farther and farther away, spewing venomous words behind his back.

Those great fears swirl around his head so great that everything starts to swirl, his feet feel weak and his head light. He collapsed onto his bed and tries to catch his breath and get his heart to slow down. He tries to think about everything through, surely he didn't even like the kiss. He was just in the heat of the moment and kissed Kenshi, he was so caught up in the moment and just did...and he liked it. Damn it.

---

"What did you do?" Cassie had finally managed to find a corner Kenshi. The poor man could barely get a word in. Cassie was in a frantic state, whatever happened between them mustn't have been good. It has been an entire month since the..."incident". Johnny kept himself locked, but it seemed to be much worse this time. "You said you'd help him but now he not only blocked me, but also deleted all his social media accounts. HE deleted them! So tell me, what did you do?" He stood corrected. They all knew how much Johnny liked social media, the man was almost chronically online with how time he spent on those apps. Him deleting them was not a good sign. "Cassie, I....I'm sorry."

"What happened?"

Kenshi could feel his cheeks flush as he feels too flustered and embarrassed to explain. What was he supposed to say, 'Sorry Cass, me and your dad made out on his couch but then he freaked out and kicked me out. Sidenote, I'm in love with your dad.' Like that wouldn't be awkward.

"I...m-me and your father...something happened between...I-I can't tell you. But I-"

"* sigh* You know what, I'll just go see him myself."

"Cassie, wait-"

But Cassie bolts out the room slamming the door behind her, leaving Kenshi alone with his thoughts. And he hated it. His mind was reduced to a frazzled mess still after the whole month. He couldn't stop thinking about Johnny, about the Kiss, how he felt his heart broke when he told him to get out. But there was also relief inside of him. After all these years, everything finally made sense. He was in love with Johnny, god it felt so good to finally make sense of it. It was like a weight was lifted off of him. But it also hurts, he remembers when Johnny revealed that he and Sonya were getting married. Johnny excitedly described everything to Kenshi, the decorations, the seating arrangements, and most importantly the seat he saved for Kenshi. His heart sank at the news, it felt like he lost something and he'd never get it back. He didn't attend the wedding, he could just imagine it, Johnny staring at the empty seat in the front that was supposed to house his best friend.

He can't believe it, he's in love with Johnny. He feels like he's betrayed someone for feeling this way, like her hurt and used someone. He feels so disgusting inside because of this. He then thinks back to how Johnny basically rejected him, his heart is now broken. God, he's in so much pain right now. Not a wound or any kind of physical ailment, but in a place that no sword or gun could ever do.

"I'm sorry." Kenshi said under his breath, his breath getting heavy. "Johnny, Cassie, Sonya, Takeda...Suchin...Forgive me."

---

Today was another day where Johnny felt like crap. This day felt worse, he felt like he could barely move, it was a struggle to keep his eyes open. His skin felt dirty, his hair greasy and matted. He bet that if he got up and looked in the mirror he'd probably be horrified, his skin would pale and sickly looking, his body thin and frail looking, god just thinking about made him want to leave the bed less.

Kenshi.

The thought of him immediately rushes through mind without warning. It was an entire month and he still couldn't stop thinking about it. His lips were so soft, his arms were soft and warm and it felt amazing to be held by them, his smile was so cute, and he just good inside thinkimg of it. But this feeling always quickly fades as everything sinks back in.

He's gay-er-bi, he's excepted it, and he's never leaving the house again. He might as well, his family and friends will no doubt abandon him completely and refuse to ever see again. Kenshi probably already told them all and they probably hate him or they will if they ever find out. So decided to cut to the middle man just block them all and delete his socials, then waste away. Why not, who would possibly care about him?

*knock*

*knock*

*knock*

Kenshi.

The thought comes to his mind as soon as he hear the door being knocked on. He finds the energy to jump into a sitting position. He hasn't spoken or seen since he screamed at him to get out. Is he back? Johnny buries his face in the pillow, he doesn't want to see Kenshi right now. Before him all he had to worry about his divorce, now he realizes he gay and everyone he loves will probably judge him for being this way. He's too scared of what might happen if he opens that door...but he can't deny that he wants to see him again. When they kissed it felt like the world lit up for him, a magical moment that he can't forget. He felt things for Kenshi that he thought he could never feel for a man.

He keeps his face buried in the pillow. Nope, he thinks, after the way I treated him, I can't ever face him again.

*Knock*

*Knock*

*Knock*

Just stay here, Kenshi will away eventually.

*Knock*

*Knock*

*Knock*

Stay.

*Knock*

*Knock*

*Knock*

Stay here.

*Knock*

*Knock*

*Knock*

St-Oh what the hell?

And with that Johnny rips away the covers and jumps out of bed, races down down the stares to the door. He reaches for the door handle but then, he hesitates. He's sweating, was he always sweating? A nauseous feeling erupted in his stomach causing to back away from the door. Is this really the best idea? He can't seem to think of a single reason to open that door, this damn door that seemed to hold bad things every turn of the way. So he turns, beginning to walk.

"Dad!?"

Johnny hears behind the door. He stops in his tracks. No it can't be. "Dad, please, open up." It can. As Johnny hears his daughter calling to him, his heart sinks to another level. No, he can't face his daughter, out of all the people he fears losing because of all this, he fears losing Cassie the most. The image of Cassie looking at him in disgust plays over and over in his mind. He can't bare the thought of her hating him, that is something he fears hell never recover from. Something scarred might lead to him hurting himself.

"Dad, please, just talk to me." This time sounded more desperate, almost like she was about to break down into tears. Johnny's heart feels like it's about to rip out of his chest and shatter on the ground. The way she sounds so distraught, he can't stand the idea of just leaving like this, like the way Sonya left him. With that he balls up his fist, takes a deep breath and turn back to the door. As much as he doesn't want to do it, he has to fave her, he has to resolve this for Cassie's sake. If she hates him afterwards then he'll just have to deal with it.

"Dad!" Cassie's sigh in relief as Johnny finally opens the door. Her eyes widen at the star her dad has been reduced to. "Hey kid." Johnny forced a smile onto his face despite this, if his relationship with his daughter is going to go down in flames he might as well go with the classic Cage charm. "Long no see, finally come to see your old man?" Cassie stared at her father, "What the hell, dad?" She snaps. Though more out of worry than anger. "You go missing for almost two whole months, block me and everyone else, delete your entire presence online, locked yourself in your house and leave everyone worried. Again I ask, what the hell? Do you have any idea how scared I was? I-I thought something might've happened to you, that you...that y-you did something to yourself. That I'd never see you again..." Cassie's angry voice dissolves one within the brink of sobbing. She has tried to keep herself together for the longest, to stay strong for him, for her mom, all her friends and fellow soldiers. But she can't take it anymore and breaks down. "I was so scared. E-every time you hung up I-I was scared that it would be the last time I'd ever speak to you. I know that you and mom splitting would be hard on you, but that doesn't mean you can just lock me out. Lock us all out. I just want to be there for you!" Her eyes darted from this way to that all over his face, hoping to get some reaction from him. Just something, anything. Anything that would make losing her cool and crying like a baby and not the soldier she is worth it.

"Cassie..." Johnny eventually lets it, his smile fades as the tears find their way out of his eyes. "Cassie, I'm so sorry." He says, an apology with a double meaning. He opens his arms and with hesitation, Cassie rushes into them, squeezing the life out of him. It has been so long since he held his daughter, the last time remembered doing such a thing was when she was a little girl. Back to simpler times, when he thought everything was perfect, that there wasn't a single this wrong. How he wishes he knew the truth about himself back then, then it would've been easier to let her go after she learns the truth about him.

"What happened between you and Kenshi? D-Did he do something to you?" She asks defensively with a sniffle. Johnny takes another deep in and out. "Cass, I think you need to sit down for what I'm about to tell you..."

Johnny sat his daughter down, he cleaned off her favorite part of the couch just for this moment. He couldn't sit her in the love seat cause that was just wrong after everything that transpired on it. Cassie sat down quickly, not wasting time to continue her questioning on what happened with him and Kenshi. Johnny gulped hard and balled his fist tighter. So tighter he swore his nails might've stuck into his skin and caused him to start bleeding. With one last deep breath, he tells her everything. The meeting, the chocolate, the tears, the hugging, the kissing, how much he like it, everything.

Cassie just stared at him as he talked, she gave a visible reaction as he spoke which frightened him. Her being silent could not be a good sign. Well, this is it. He thought, any moment now she'll react, he'll scream at him and storm out of the door and out of his life.He closes his eyes and folds his hands together, tiny drops of blood drops from one of his hands, but he couldn't feel bothered enough to notice.

Cassie finally reacts, but she doesn't flip out, she just starts laughing. As you can guess, this is much to Johnny's surprise. Where's the look of disgust? The insults? The judgment? All he gets is laughter. "Whats do funny?"

"I'm sorry, it's just..." She tried to explain, but she changed from a sobbing mess to a laughing mad woman. "I was so scared he did something to you. I thought you were seriously hurt. Well you were hurt to some instant. Th-thank god!" She forced through her delighted chuckles, taking Johnny by surprise.

"You don't hate me?" He said, making sure he understood what was happening. He was really confused right now. "Hate you for what? For not being straight? This isn't the 90s anymore." She said, her laughing fit finally calming down as she looked at her father with a loving gaze he thought he'd lose. He smiles, but cries still. "I-I thought you'd hate me." He said, the tears getting greater. Cassie stops laughing looks at her father, her expression serious again. "Dad...I don't hate you. I could never hate you... you're father and I'll always love you no matter your sexuality, o-or your gender or whatever the hell you identify as." She smiles at her father, she looks him the eyes to let him know how much she means it, how much she loves. Without hesitation, he pulls her into a hug.

Overwhelmed, Johnny's tears grow heavier. "How-" he was stopped by a sniffle as he tried to keep contr and not crumble into mess of tears. "How the hell did I manage to raise someone like you?' He gleamed through tears. "If it's any consolation, I have done pretty awesome parents. An accepting dad and an open-minded mom...now wash up and call him."

"What?"

Cassie picked up his phone and handed it to him, Kenshi's number pulled up so Johnny could call him. "Call him. Mom already moved on and is happy, it's time you be happy too."

---

"Hello?" Kenshi picked up the phone confused. Who would be calling him this time of night? "Hey, Ken" a voice boomed happily across the other end. "Johnny? What do you-"

"I want you to come over." Johny said in his usual cocky manner, his confidence seemingly returned and was stronger than ever. "Is this some kind of joke?"

"No jokes. Just you, me, and some sexual tension finally being relieved."

Johnny couldn't see it, but he could tell that Kenshi was smiling on the other end. "I'll be there in 20 minutes."

#happy pride 🌈 #mk1 #mortal kombat #mk1 2023 #mortal kombat 1 #mk fanfic #mk johnny cage #mk kenshi #kenshi takahashi #johnny cage #kenshi x johnny #johnny x kenshi #johnshi #gay ships #fandom ships #the best fandom ship imo #request #request closed #agnst #angst with a happy ending #mlm #mlm yearning #sonya blade #cassie cage

[maria-of-the-waves]

Painter!Cale AU

Ok, we all know this panel where Violan's story is explained, right? (・・ ) ?

Well, this gave me an idea. ☆ ～('▽^人)

If Cale is the one who imagines this, it doesn't mean that he has a lot of imagination and that he should be able to paint at least with spots, right? ヽ(*⌒▽⌒*)ﾉ

That idea made me think about watercolors, and later about alcohol inks, which work in a similar way, look like this:

These are generated images of paintings created with alcohol ink and you can't tell me this isn't something you imagine Cale doing right? (⌒ω⌒)

Well these are my headcanon (＠＾－＾):

Cale started painting because Record would record the landscapes he liked in his head and play them like a catchy song until he found a way to get them out.

This was the painting, it started when he accidentally spilled some wine on a piece of parchment creating a stain that reminded him of a landscape he saw, Record wasn't going to leave him alone anytime soon so he started stretching the stain forming the image and then he realized realized that Record was no longer playing that recording. That's how it all started.

Cale mixed the lower quality alcohol with different inks and began painting to get rid of the "catchy landscapes" and over time he began to enjoy the process of creating the ink and painting.

Violan discovered his hobby by accident after finding him painting at Henituse Castle.

She was amazed by his paintings and insisted on having an exhibition for them. Cale, unable to deny anything to his family, accepts, thinking that they were no big deal and planning to ignore it.

Unknowingly, he ended up becoming an art genius because alcohol ink had not been invented in Nameless 1.

#tcf #lcf #trash of the count’s family #lout of the count’s family #cale henituse #tcf novel #Painter!Cale AU #alcohol inks #art #painting #tcf au #(⌒.−)＝★ #I don't know how to make ink #much less alcohol ink #(*/ω＼)

[the-garbanzo-annex-jr]

by Rinat Harash

How do children react when they are caught red-handed? They blame someone else and cry.

Which is exactly what the head of the United Nations Relief and Works Agency for Palestine Refugees (UNRWA) did on Thursday (May 30), in an op-ed published by The New York Times.

In the article, titled “Israel Must Stop Its Campaign Against UNRWA,” Philippe Lazzarini whines that his organization is under attack by the Jewish state, which has accused it of having links to Gaza terror groups.

The gist of his over-simplistic argument, that omits Hamas as the real target of Israel’s war effort, is as follows: UNRWA is attacked by vicious Israelis for no reason, and the world must do something about it.

In his own dramatic words, it sounds like Israel’s war aim is to target and harass innocent UNRWA employees and not Hamas terrorists:

As I write this, our agency has verified that at least 192 UNRWA employees have been killed in Gaza. More than 170 UNRWA premises have been damaged or destroyed. UNRWA-run schools have been demolished.

Israeli officials are not only threatening the work of our staff and mission, they are also delegitimizing UNRWA by effectively characterizing it as a terrorist organization.

How can this be possible? Where is the international outrage? Its absence is a license to disregard the United Nations and opens the door to impunity and chaos.

While Israel has long been hostile to UNRWA, following the abhorrent attacks of Oct. 7 it unleashed a campaign to equate UNRWA with Hamas and depict the agency as promoting extremism.

All of the above allows Lazzarini to deflect criticism and avoid holding himself and his organization accountable in the face of Israeli allegations.

While he refers to the dozen UNRWA employees who have been accused by Israel of participating in the October 7 massacre, he treads lightly: He says that UNRWA investigates Israel’s allegations but at the same time creates the impression of a false dichotomy between the organization and its employees.

In fact, he ignores evidence suggesting that UNRWA has become a Hamas front:

Israel has said that 190 UNRWA employees, including teachers, have doubled as Hamas or Islamic Jihad terrorists.

Israel uncovered a Hamas facility under UNRWA headquarters in Gaza.

The IDF regularly releases data showing that Hamas terrorists use UNRWA schools in Gaza.

UN Watch exposed that 3,000 UNRWA teachers were in a Telegram group that celebrated the October 7 attack.

Why does Lazzarini not address these allegations head-on in an apologetic op-ed?

Interestingly, in his frenzy to attack Israel, he seems to admit that Hamas uses UNRWA facilities in Gaza.

This point was ironically reinforced on the same day of Lazzarini’s article’s publication, when the IDF revealed that Hamas had fired an anti-tank missile at its troops from an UNRWA school in Gaza.

But Lazzarini seems to be unaware of his own responsibility for the utter moral bankruptcy of his organization.

He cannot even bring himself to mention Hamas’ October 7 atrocities, which he refers to only in the 9th paragraph as “an abhorrent attack.”

Like the child caught red-handed, he accuses the neighborhood “bully” and expects an adult — or in this case “the world” — to help (and perhaps renew the flow of pocket money that has been suspended.)

Perhaps he thinks he can get away with it, because UNRWA has always been seen as a favorite child, who is nothing but virtuous.

But the world needs grown-ups who clean up their own mess, instead of blaming others for exposing it.

#philippe lazzarini #unrwa #hamas #gaza #idf

[hesbuckcompton-baby]

i said i'd be writing more for this au and i literally cannot stay away any longer - they have consumed me

tagging some folks - @xxluckystrike @latibvles @p-polaroid @thoughpoppiesblow

word count - 2.5k

"the honourable thing" -> demarco x susie (wars of the roses au)

The Great Hall of the Lamb family manor was alive with laughter and music, the sound of minstrels' lutes and fiddles filling the air and echoing off the immense, arched ceiling. A tapestry ran along the far wall, ladies in tapestries and men astride horses, hounds circling at their feet and trees forming a canopy above, the colours in the thread fading from decades up on display. This place had belonged to another family before the war. He'd visited once as a boy, he was sure of it - but as Bernard looked out across the merry wedding party, he found the memory eluded him.

It was a strange thing, to be a married man. He had imagined he would feel different - that something would shift within him, opening outwards to create space for the soul that stood beside him. And yet he seemed unchanged. The day continued to roll on by, the world did not stand still - no one waited for him to grow accustomed to the state of having a wife.

"Brother!" An all-too-familiar voice jeered, and Bernard downed the last of his wine in preparation as his eldest brother came bounding towards him. Cheeks already flushed from drink, there was a distinct glint of mockery in his grin. "Well, this is a match indeed."

Clearing his throat, he looked to his brother with a frown. "And where is your wife, Eric?"

"In her confinement, of course. We shall have a son any hour now."

And yet here you are.

"It's certainly a shame," Eric continued. "That it's you who father has chosen to humiliate in such a way. I mean, marrying an untitled woman is bad enough, but a Lancastrian? Anyone would think you were being punished."

Jaw tightly clenched, Bernard turned to address his brother's remark. But, before he could utter a word, their father had interceded, appearing far less dour than he had been the first time they'd entered this house in search of Susannah Lamb. "We are a united nation now, my boy. I won't hear any of it. If you insist on becoming a drunken fool at every feast, at least do it out of earshot."

Eric let out a laugh, the sound startlingly girlish. "Goodness, Father sounds like he's preaching from the gospels."

Something in him snapped, and Bernard slammed his goblet down upon the table with a clatter. "If you truly refuse to be with your wife, brother, then at least don't pollute my wedding with your nonsense. If you find you cannot walk by the end of the night, sleep it off in the stables."

Their father had begun to manoeuvre Eric away from the festivities, a firm grip on each shoulder. As bothersome as the man could be, he would have never resisted their father's hand. Stumbling on his own feet as he backed away from the table, he called back one last time. "At least introduce me to her!"

"Not tonight," He replied stiffly, and as his brother retreated, he allowed his gaze to go in search of his wife. Susannah had begun the festivities firmly at his side, but her seat at the high table had now been empty for quite some time, a marked void left in her absence.

A flicker of blue caught his eye, and there she was, standing in the wedding gown her mother had once worn, sapphire-coloured fabric pooling around her feet as she chatted away to one of their guests, goblet in hand. Her hair remained pinned up just as it had been, although her veil was long discarded, and even from here he could spy the ring he'd given her mere hours before, glinting on her finger. They'd stood on the front steps of the church, reading back their vows to one another under the priest's watchful eye. She'd scarcely looked at him the entire time, meeting his eye for the briefest of seconds only as he presented her with the ring - only once there was no way out.

Susannah turned as her sister approached, Eleanor's expression creased in an ecstatic grin. From here the resemblance between the pair was almost alarming, only exacerbated as Susannah mirrored her smile, seemingly glowing the moment she noticed her sister's arrival. Among these people, she was at ease. Alongside her husband, she was anything but.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

She felt her sister's hand at the crook of her elbow the second she noticed her arrival, the warmth of her grip a welcome intrusion. Sliding her own palm over it, Susannah returned the gentle squeeze as their hips bumped against one another, standing inseparably close. "Managed to escape your admirers?" She teased. Eleanor had always been able to captivate a room in a way Susannah never could, and there had practically been a crowd encircling the younger girl since the moment the festivities had begun.

Eleanor shrugged. "I wanted to see you. You know, I've never had a party this grand."

"You will when it's your turn - hell, yours will be even better. You'll be a noblewoman."

Her sister grinned, bouncing on the balls of her feet and fiddling with the wedding ring as Susannah reached out for her cup. It pained her to think of her baby sister's betrothal - to imagine her married and living so far away. But now it would be she who left first, who abandoned Eleanor for the home of her husband. Here, their bed chambers were separated by nothing but a single wall - but by this time tomorrow, it would be miles of road and countryside, an impenetrable distance keeping them separate.

"Why is he staring?" Eleanor's voice tugged her from her thoughts, and Susannah followed her gaze, spying her husband, still standing beside the high table. He certainly had been looking, but the moment their eyes met he turned swiftly away, suddenly preoccupied with his wine and his guests.

She snorted. "I imagine he's hatching a plot to smother me in my sleep tonight," She teased, flinching as Eleanor smacked her across the shoulder.

"Don't say that!" She cried, pausing as she waited for Susannah to stop laughing, the comfortable silence lingering between them as she took a long sip of wine. "... Will you tell me how it is?"

"How what is?"

"You know... tonight."

Susannah scoffed. "No. No, I won't."

"Oh, come on," Eleanor whined, tugging at her sleeve. "You'd be doing me a favour and you know it."

"I will tell you what you need to know, as and when you need to know it."

"Ugh, you're a terrible sister," She groaned, but her grip on Susannah's arm tightened, an unspoken longing for the pair to remain together. Tilting her head, she pressed the briefest of kisses to Eleanor's temple, lips parting in a grin.

"I know."

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

Gale Cleven glanced up as his friend approached, sitting down on the bench beside him with a sigh, elbows propped up on the table. Sitting opposite, John raised a brow - it was clear he wouldn't be the first to speak. "So... Pleasant wedding?"

"This is bleak," Bernard grumbled, staring into his cup. "My wife despises me - and I have no intention of fixing it because I find her utterly insufferable."

"That sounds like most marriages to me," John shrugged unhelpfully, ignoring Gale's glare as he refilled his wine. Towards the other end of the table, Majorie conversed merrily with the other ladies, casting her husband a warm smile whenever he caught her eye.

"How do you do it?" Bernard asked, turning to Gale. "I mean, I have scarcely ever seen a marriage like yours."

Resisting the urge to smirk, he shrugged. "Keep your wife happy? I know most men will tell you that's not important, but if your household is content, you will be too. Even if it means never speaking to each other and living on opposite sides of the house, if that's what you must do not to agitate her."

"Is she truly how people say?" John asked, staring across the hall to where Susannah was stood, arm-in-arm with her sister. "I heard you're the fourth suitor her mother's tried throwing her at."

Since their first meeting, the pair had scarcely spent an hour together in any one go, and they seemed unable to breathe the same air without bickering. That piercing glare of hers always seemed enough to put him on edge, and after that, it only took a single timely remark for the two of them to collapse into a spat.

"She is... strong-willed."

"I thought you usually liked that in a woman."

"She's also intensely irritating."

"Ah." John seemed unconvinced.

Chuckling, Gale reached out, giving Bernard's shoulder a reassuring shake. "You'll do fine. Give it some time - I'm sure you'll warm up to each other."

He let out a huff of laughter. "If she doesn't murder me first."

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

A tense silence hung upon the house as the celebrations drew to a close, their guests departing with their horses and carriages until the courtyard lay bare, nothing but the smell of spilt wine lingering in the air. The rest of the Lamb family retreated swiftly to bed, ensuring themselves out of the way for when the inevitable had to take place. As Susannah stared back at herself in the mirror's reflection, peering at the embroidered hem of her nightgown, she felt terribly sacrificial - all dressed up for some purpose everyone deemed more important than her own. The drink had left a thrumming sensation behind her eyes, and all she truly wanted was to go to sleep.

The creak of a door opening behind her caught her attention, turning her head as Bernard entered the room, his frame stiff and uncomfortable. He couldn't quite meet her eye as he stepped inside, closing the door behind him and pausing in the middle of the floor. In the golden candlelight, her hair almost looked as though it had caught alight, auburn curls cascading freely down her back. Susannah lacked many things when it came to him - warmth, regard - but beauty was never one of them.

"This isn't your chamber, is it?" He asked, glancing about the bedroom they had been given. The place was grand, but impersonal - it lacked the comforts of a space truly lived in.

"No," She shook her head slightly.

"... Do you want to go back to your chamber?" Bernard spoke cautiously.

Susannah scoffed. "You want me to leave, is that what you're saying?"

"I-?" He paused, expression contorting in annoyance. "No, that's not what I'm saying. It's just that neither of us are exactly interested in doing... this. Now."

Her frown turned more sour by the second, and for a second he thought she was going to hurl something at him. Anticipating this, Bernard took a step backwards.

"If you're planning on backing out of this, I swear I'll kill you myself."

"Why-?"

"Because if we don't do this, they'll say we're not properly married. And if you fuck off somewhere, I will be ruined forever."

His brow furrowed, fighting offence that she could even think he would do such a thing. "So... you do want to?"

"Not particularly!" Susannah huffed, throwing up her hands in despair. "But I have no assurances otherwise."

"Susannah," He said firmly. "I don't like you, but that doesn't mean I have any intention of damaging your reputation. If this doesn't happen tonight-" Bernard continued, gesturing between the pair of them. "-then no one has to know except us. As far as I'm concerned, the moment you put on that ring, you became my wife. That doesn't mean we have to enjoy each other's company, but it does mean that I won't betray you. So if you need me to pretend the marriage is consummated, I will."

For a moment, he swore he could've spotted the ghost of a smile curling her lip. It must have been the first time she'd met his gaze without contempt. "... Very well," Susannah nodded tersely, a hint of sincerity lacing her tone. Crossing the room towards the bed, floorboards creaking beneath bare feet, she lifted the sheets, practically collapsing against the mattress with a sigh, curls splayed out across the pillow.

He was silent for a while, simply staring over at her as she burrowed further into the warmth, turning onto her side so that he couldn't see her face, just the slow rise and fall of her shoulders that came with each breath. Here he felt like an intruder, the sensation making him squirm. Coming into her house, her chambers - standing here just watching her. It all seemed illicit somehow. Bernard could imagine what his father would say to him how - his callous, ungentle tongue spilling forth a dozen ways he 'should' treat the woman before him - all of them wholly repulsive to him.

"... What are you doing?" He asked after a moment.

The bedsheets rustled as Susannah moved to face him, propping herself up on one elbow. "Well, we can't exactly leave. If we're going to lie, you have to stay." He resented her for being right, but even worse, he hated what he had to do because of it. She turned her back on him as he shrugged off his doublet, getting into bed beside her and feeling the warmth of her body thaw his the moment they lay beneath the same blankets.

Bernard blew out the candle at his bedside, immediately plunging the room into darkness, if only so that he could pretend she wasn't there. But he could hear her breathing pierce the silence, one faint sigh after another, the constant reminder of another presence beside his preventing him from succumbing to sleep. This time tomorrow they'd be in their own house, sleeping in separate chambers - he reminded himself of this over and over, if only to relieve the tension in his shoulders. Gale was right - he would simply leave Susannah to herself, and all would be well. He only had to stick it out for tonight.

"Tomorrow I'll give you your wedding present," He blurted before he could think better of it. Even his soft words seemed monstrously loud in the dark quietude.

She did not speak for a moment, and he wondered briefly if she had already fallen asleep.

"I don't think you were expected to get me one."

"... Oh."

She had given him a dowry, a chest piled high with coin - what had he given her? A ring. It seemed so meagre in comparison that he hadn't thought twice about giving her more. His hands folded across his stomach, he stared blankly up at the void where the ceiling would be, listening to Susannah breathe once more, until she finally spoke.

"... What is it?"

"A dog."

The sheets rustled again, and even in the pitch-blackness, Bernard could feel her turn to stare at him.

"... You bought me a dog?"

He shrugged. "Yes?"

"I-" She cut herself short, trailing off into silence with a sigh.

Neither of them spoke another word that night. Bernard didn't sleep a wink.

But he never heard her turn away from him.

#helena writes #wars of the roses au #demarco x susie #bernard demarco #bernard demarco x oc #oc: susie #mota au #masters of the air au #mota oc

[the-fighters-of-foo]

DAVE GROHL' ONE GOLDEN RULE TO LIVE BY: While all rock stars are rock enthusiasts – or at least should be – Dave Grohl seems to be the most humble and reverent.

Like the musical Keanu Reeves, the Foo Fighters frontman never shies from applauding his fellow musicians, whether it’s The Beatles or an unknown teenage band in Washington trying to make their first mark on the world.

From the days of his youth, keeping his parents awake as he drummed along to Led Zeppelin albums, Grohl dreamt of becoming a rock star. When he joined Nirvana to replace Chad Channing in the run-up to Nevermind, he achieved just this but was seemingly never blinded by fame and fortune.

It is difficult to say how much the hardship of Kurt Cobain’s 1994 death influenced Grohl’s down-to-earth, humble demeanour. What we can be certain of, however, is that the tragedy had an irrevocable impact on the young musician’s life, most evidently in encouraging him to re-establish his career as a singer and songwriter in Foo Fighters.

Speaking to the NME in a past interview, Grohl reflected on his eureka moment while mourning Cobain’s death. “That was a funny time with me musically because I just didn’t really want to hear any music,” he said. “Then I realised, ‘Oh wait, it’s music that’s going to heal me. What am I doing? I should be listening to music. I should be making music that will make me feel better.’ And it did.”

Over time, Grohl worked exceedingly hard to reconstruct his career, battling against stressors in his personal life. In 2022, he once again endured unspeakable tragedy when Taylor Hawkins, his longstanding drummer in Foo Fighters, passed away during a tour stop in Colombia.

The endurance of pain is a fact of life, and it isn’t distributed equally. During such times, it is nigh on impossible to divine a positive, yet, as Grohl has shown, hardship and resolve create the perfect environment for wisdom. People who have had to deal with certain issues are usually best equipped to offer counsel and support to those enduring similar woes.

When Grohl looked to form the Foo Fighters in late 1994, he received an outpouring of support from fellow musicians, including Tom Petty, who offered him a place to drum in his band, The Heartbreakers. In a recent interview with Fearne Cotton, Grohl reflected on his decision to stick with the Foo Fighters plan.

In his reasoning, Grohl revealed his golden rule for a life without regret and the key to satisfaction. “I usually steer myself towards things that I’m not entirely sure I can do,” he explained. “Because it’s so much more fun. There’s no safety net. Why the fuck not? Life’s too short to just do the thing that you know how to do all the time. Fuck that. Let’s do something that we have no idea what’s going to happen.”

Later in the conversation, the Foo Fighters frontman remembered a punk band from Washington, DC, called The Bad Brains, whom he adored as a teenager. The band promoted the idea of a “PMA, which was positive mental attitude”. Grohl recalled always feeling that he could achieve what he set his mind on. “I do believe that if you put the thought or that energy out there, there is some sort of return,” he added, importantly. Concluding the point, the pair agreed that childhood dreams fall to the flames of adulthood fear. Presumably, the trick to a happy and rewarding life is to dream like a child and throw logic to the wind.

✍️ Jordan Potter

📸 EMG

#dave grohl #foo

[seeminglyseph]

I am like.... trying to decide Shrike stuff... because that was what I managed to do today. here are some of my ideas for sprites and variants and stuff. I have definitely also like... kind of wanted to play up the like.... fucked up anti-monster military system in WTNC with it playing into the major character arcs with Shrike and August. (and everyone else involved but it’s my August/OC fanfic I can do what I want.

I can also give everyone as thick of thighs as I want and no one can ever stop me the end.

#seph plays wtnc #shrike the butcher bird #will I ever progress a drawing past the sketch phase again? #who knows #but at least something has become created #timelapse #drawing timelapse #csp timelapse #and ye I trace 3D models why the fuck not???? #how do you CHEAT at art? #are you stealing someone else's art or imagery or material? Bad. don't do that #but like people who sell stock photos want you to buy and use them #and 3d models are positioned or posed in your own interpretive way anyways so like #you set up the shot and then you draw it #stop shaming yourself into struggling with something there's a tool for

[kizzer55555]

Core Gems

So when a ghost becomes injured, they have a last ditch defense where they retreat into their core. And I mean, injured badly where their body is rip apart to the point they can’t hold a solid form anymore. And they basically go into a hibernation state until they are strong enough to form again.

Ellie, Danny, and Dan are all injured in a final battle against the GIW. The organization was destroyed and the ghosts were safe but the halfas ended up being so injured that they reverted to core form and then went to sleep for a bit. When they woke up, they were still weak but at least recovered enough to gain consciousness. And realize…they are in some kind of auction…in the middle of a heist. It appeared that two furries (one in a bat costume and one in a cat costume) were ducking it out. And they…they were a necklace. All three of them had been turned into a necklace with their cores as gems accompanied by sapphires, pearls, and opals. And frankly gorgeous craftsmanship as the metal was crafted around their cores as if to cradle them and the other gems.

Unfortunately, they were too weak to take a form properly, they could still feel the strain on their bodies. But at least they could still communicate through their auras. Then the cat lady punched a hole in the glass container surrounding them and grabbed their necklace.

However, the bat grabbed the other end and it resulted in a sort of tug-a-war. Meanwhile, Danny, Ellie, and Dan were having a back and form commentary on the situation and what they should do. Completely unheard by the other party.

In the corner of their eye, the three halfas finally noticed a third contender. Some kind of clown who was…hold on…holding a gun?! And it was pointed straight at the two fighting furies who had yet to notice him. The ghosts’ protective instincts went into overdrive and they frantically tried to shout, yell, move. Just do something to warn the two but their cries fell on deaf ears. All they succeeded in doing was faintly glow which immediatly caught the attention of the fighting duo. The two turned to look at the strange necklace but right at that moment, the clown fired and a gunshot rang throughout the auction room. Having no other options, Danny and the others poured every ounce of ectoplasm they had to try and phaseshift, making the two furries intangible as the bullets passed right through them, but in their shock, the two jumped away in opposite directions and accidentally ripped the necklace apart. Gems and pearls went flying and the three cores bounced along the ground.

Luckily, the two finally noticed the clown and went to deal with him and his minions who had appeared. Seemingly putting their fight on hold and forming a temporary truce. The three halfas could only watch as the battle finally wound down, ending with the cops barging into the place and arresting the clown and his grunts, the cat managing to escape with half the scattered gems and pearls from the broken necklace along with a few other jewelry pieces (none of their cores though) and the bat leaving through a skylight.

The auction continued and in the end, despite being broken, their necklace seemed to have caught someone’s interest. A man named Bruce Wayne bought up every piece of the shattered jewelry wear. The auctioneers appeared relived that the item managed to sell in the end and gratefully gave it to him.

Bruce had no idea what happened at the auction, but he could have sworn that some of the gems faintly glowed right before he and Selina were shot. If the necklace was some sort of magical item, then he needed to understand exactly what has been brought to Gotham. It was unfortunate that Selena had taken some parts of the necklace but he utilized his vast wealth to make sure all the other parts ended in his possession. Now he would take them back to the mansion for examination.

#Dpxdc #dcxdp #kizzer55555 ideas #Bruce thinks the necklace is magical. He’s technically not wrong. #When he gets home he immediately puts each gem in a glass container to examine them. For the longest time though nothing happens. #They all look like normal gems except for the main three of the piece. He can’t identify what kind of gem they are. #The gems are perfect spheres with various shades of blue (with hints of green and white) swirling around. #The colors almost look like they are moving in slow motion. Still. Nothing happens as he examines them and no strange events happen. #That is until one day he decided to take the gems to be examined by a professional and a villain attacked. #A piece of building was about to crush him when a wall of ice appeared as a shield over him. After that he took them back to the cave. #Bruce looks up thousands of documents about enchanted necklaces and artifacts but finds nothing. He even calls in favors from JLD. #Zatanna doesn’t recognize them but feels some kind of power coming off the gems however it doesn’t feel malevolent (at least for 2 of them) #(The last gem is neutral.) Also Constantine was unavailable (*cough* hiding from responsibilities *cough*) #The other bats get interested in the gems. Tim has a theory that they are some kind of protective charms. Damian agrees. #(Everyone is shocked Tim and Damian agree on something). So while Bruce is continuing his investigation the other bats decide to do some #‘Field testing’ and take the gems out. Consequently the gems end up saving their lives and they discover a few things they can do like make #The wearer invisible. Intangible. Create green barriers/constructs. Create ice. Vibrate when an enemy is coming. And much more. #The bats fashion them into new individual bracelets/necklaces and think they are the coolest thing. They have powered up protective charms! #The halfas just wish these kids would STOP PUTTING THEIR LIVES IN DANGER! What are they MORONS?! #Most of the ectoplasms they recover is used to protect the bats and nearby civilians. #(Dan also trolls people and is mostly protective his siblings though) #People notice the new power ups. A rougue gets his hands on a gem and tries to use it ONCE to attack something but the gems didn’t respond. #Then it froze the rough’s legs to the ground. #Much time later the gems are swapped between the bats and alternated and have just become a new item in their belt #(batman was not pleased but eventually got used to it and begrudgingly accepted that they were useful. Especially when they save his kids) #They come to a Justice league meeting and Constantine finally sees them. #His mouth drops in shock and he frantically asks where they got GHOST CORES?! And this is when the bats finally realise what they have. #And are horrified to realize EXACTLY what they are holding and that these ‘gems’ were technically ALIVE. #Meanwhile the three Halfas have been kinda chilling but also working their butts off to keep this family alive. It was a fulltime job.

[xxcherrycherixx]

Are we really bringing omegaverse to ever after high becuase-

Im just saying yall are really setting me up for writing like really kinky heartlockes shit.

Im just saying im already saying the girls are fucking, dont give me heats to make them fuck even more. And scent and breeding kinks?? Im not afraid to add that shit, in fact i have been waiting for the moment to add breeding kink because holy fuck i think blondie would be freaky enough to want that. I already headcanon her wanting so many kids, how the fuck you think she gonna get them?

#ever after high #heartlockes #omegaverse #god it felt like a bad omen adding that tag #blondie is such a messy omega i love her so much<3 #listen she would totes fight an alpha if she needed to but the moment her heat comes in- girl is running and hiding until that shit goes. #that is until cupid starts helping her with them and becomes her mate <3 #cupid isnt a alpha/beta/omega but thankfully good ol auntie aphrodite has stuff to make her pass as whatever she wants #she ends up choosing to be an alpha becuase dexter was a omega and she wanted to be with him/ that of course doesnt happen. #but it turns out that it works out for her in the end when she gets with blondie who ends up presenting as an omega. #she cant actually claim blondie since shes not actually a alpha/ but she doesnt want blondie to know becuase it would make her sad #her auntie once again makes her a temporary solution to the issue #cupid of course has to claim inferility to avoid having pups. blondie still begs her to impregnate her during sex. #cupid plays along knowing its just blondies kink at this point. #blondie smells of just right porridge. a family trait thats passed down like a lot of scents in the fairytale world #cupid smells of the prettiest in bloom mood roses from her personal garden #her auntie created that scent just for her since she knows it would make cupid happy if her faux scent was something more personal to her #auntie aphrodite is helping her fave niece as much as possible. how iconic of her #sadly blondie and cupid arent roommates D: (at least at the beginning :D) #theres no roommates at this ever after high due to risks of alphas fighting or teen marking #despite the seperation and strict rules around heats/ blondie still manages to get marked anyway and headmaster grimm is so pissed about it #when he confronts cupid about it she just shrugs and asks if she can move in with blondie now #headmaster grimm sighs in defeat knowing he has to let them live together now otherwise blondie will struggle with terrible heats #and cupid could go aggressive. #none of these things will happen since cupid isnt actually an alpha and her mating with blondie is fake but he doesnt need to know that lma #the only relief headmaster grimm gets is when cupid lets him know theres no risk of pregnancy. #thank fuck he doesnt have to worry about teen pregnancy also happening at his school- #god fucking dammit ashlynn what do you mean you've been marked AND you're pregnant-

[poptartmochi]

in this house we love greek gods that preside over one specific thing and have fuckall to do for the rest of eternity <3

#sriracha.txt #creating some fuckt up little lady who presides Specifically over like. the point in which old crop is used to fertilize the new #thus playing into the whole cycle of life idea + giving her some foot to stand on as the kid of persephone and hades specifically #wrt the way old life supports the new? is this stepping on the toes of demeter and dionysus... yes... #but we pretend we do not see it.. i am overworked + low on spoons as it is and this is like.. niche lore for a character i am not paid to #play. i cannot dedicate much more effort to her. at least not right now #lament aside i think i will name her Rhoeas or something of that nature.. from what i can tell ῥόα is the word for pomegranates #which becomes ῥοιᾰ́ς for corn poppies.. #now sit with me boy 🕴 we lose the plot here a little bit + also extrapolate from wikipedia alone for this BUT. in many cultures poppies are #heavily associated with death and love alike. and ofc they grow in disturbed soil. #SO... if you look at the original myth with a modern + loose lens. i think you could justify some kind of poppy child being like #a bridge between demeter and hades.. she comes from the literal disturbed soil that came when hades abducted persephone #+ has ties with death and love + love that can endure death which can be a fun allusion to the way that demeter's love for persephone #persists even through persephone's stay in hades which houses the dead... do you feel me comrades #i think you could even apply it to persephone and hades themselves - a love that endures death? but naur offense hades is NOT the focus her #</3 🤪 coming back to this theme of like. love persisting through death and being sewn in the wake of death/disrupted soil. we come back to #the anchor point of her character which is the old dead crops being used to fertilize the new growth. it's the love the dead has for the #living right!! to help it grow in a new and difficult world! i think that itself ties back into the central theme w the poppies #and also demeter has ties to poppies so i don't think it would be crazy for some grandchild of hers to have ties to poppies :-] i think thi #all somewhat feasible if you reaaaalllly squint. anyhow i'm too tired to go any further with it rn #corylana

[yotd2009]

it's 2023 and i'm still bitter about how kuroshitsuji, a complex slow burn mystery manga, got absolutely massacred by its shitty semi-episodic shota/fujobait anime adaptation

#like yeah the manga could be a bit questionable in the earlier parts (cough corset scene cough comedic relief grelle + soma & agni cough) #but almost all of that got retconned once yana toboso was allowed to have more creative freedom over her work #(and her editor's interference is something we Know had a p drastic effect on the series bc it Literally Gave Us Grelle (toboso wanted to #have a female jack the ripper but her editor said that if she did then she would've had to be working w a man. so in response toboso #decided that madam red's partner in crime would be as effeminate as possible so grelle was created in the vein of buffalo bill and then #only in her next appearance a few arcs later when the book of murder arc was over and done with was she acknowledged to be a trans woman #not the best situation for girlie overall but the manga started treating her much better over time + she slayed) #but the anime was on a whole different level s1 Literally ended while teasing a kiss between a grown adult and a 12 year old #and then s2 just made up random bullshit including a brand new 14 year old to ship bait w adults #and it doesn't help that whenever the series comes up everyone in the surrounding area becomes 50x more susceptible to false info #(see: undertaker's real name being shared around on an image that's literally watermarked by a TUMBLR HEADCANONS BLOG) #so there's a p decent subset of ppl who believe it was originally meant to be a yaoi (rumor that began from the same hc blog) #or that yana toboso is a shotacon (pr.osh.ippers on twt made that one up to try and win arguments) #i want the series to get the fmab treatment w a shiny new anime made by some1 other than a-1 pictures #bc we've seen what happens when they try and adapt the arcs that came out after they committed to the random bullshit plots of s1-2 #in the form of the book of murder circus & atlantic ovas. which are excessively plain and just streamlined disconnected and heartless #renditions of the manga arcs which will make no sense to anyone who hasn't already read it. they're like ufotable's fate route ova but at #least that has higher production values and is somewhat visually interesting #romeo.txt

[dormont]

also the pokemon in the voidlands being apparitions fits well with ttb lore teehee

#bwark #so historically as of psmd in the timeline it was believed that the pokemon found in dungeons were real #so after going to the voidlands and learning that every pokemon there is a phantom it's proposed that more research is done on existing #dungeons in the real world #and espeon and umbreon being the top dungeon researchers that they are learn that the pokemon in regular dungeons aren't actually real #either and they only become tangible forms after bonding with rescue teams through shared aura from battling #the leading theory is that dungeons are sentient and do this to protect themselves #and this is all common knowledge as of the ttb era #also before anybody says anything i was catching up on the rogue team last night and now i am aware that something very similar was done in #that comic and i promise it's just a coincidence LMAO #ive had this idea for a few months at least and i hadn't read those pages before last night #it was my way of avoiding the town vs wild conflict that's a theme in obt. respect to obt for tackling that but i'm personally not #comfortable with doing my own take on that and i feel better about them not being real at first #tbh it fits more with ttb's themes of connection and identity #like pokemon like dexter despise the way they were created because she feels she has no identity #but the pokemon that come from dungeons are a lot more humble and are just grateful to be alive

[kicksnscribs]

My operation is tomorrow and I’m sitting here in the dark watching YouTube blogging on Tumblr haha I’m not terrified not terrified at all…

#I keep think about things you know? #*thinking #like how I grew up expecting to make it to at least sixty or smth #key word there ‘expecting’ #like my life was guaranteed to last that long #but this year has taught me that shit is unpredictable #and it’s done nothing but I create my death anxiety #*increase #but like #what can you do about something as definitive as death? #I keep trying to get myself to understand that #but nothing gets through and I don’t know how to stop it #but the small things do help #and (if this surgery goes well) maybe it’ll be Anouilh to finally grind it into my head that I have a limited time on this planet #*enough #and maybe spur me into getting out more #though it seems like life wants me to become a dedicated shit in after these past few years #what with COVID and the threat of a Third World War and all #god I hope everything will be alright #rambling in the tags #dude wtf there weren’t this many typos when I typed it I swear…