#but I want to write for several hours uninterrupted

[ravenpuffheadcanons]

#feels illegal that it isn’t the weekend yet #I’m not having a bad week I am just Tired #my students are genuinely lovely this year and teaching is an amazing job #but I want to write for several hours uninterrupted #I want a nap #i want to read a book from cover to cover #I want to go for a swim in the daytime #two more days until annual leave I’M NEARLY THERE #(I never even finished 30 Rock and this scene still plays in my head on a loop on days like today)

[jymwahuwu]

You've done yandere Tighnari and yandere Cyno.

But what about a yandere Alhaitham?

glad you asked!! 🥺 i do have an idea for this, but haven't been writing about it before - sharing my thoughts on yandere alhaitham and kaveh now (yes, i love writing about them both)

tw: yandere, non-con, kidnapping, abuse of power

"Once order is disrupted, the consequences spread like wildfire. I’d like to avoid such a scenario, so I can keep my life intact and uninterrupted."

Alhaitham took part in a revolution to replace the grand sage, resulting in Sumeru's regime returning to the God of Wisdom, and he became interim head of state (reluctantly). And all this just for his peace daily life💀 So, imagine what happens when Alhaitham finds out that you are an unstable factor in his life.

Alhaitham found that he had to spend an extra twenty minutes a day observing you, and another half hour thinking about you. (He already has all the information on you…you are very easy to understand, but also the most difficult to understand.) He doesn't like this kind of unexpected thing. Perhaps the bards in Mondstadt would have had an understanding of this ethereal experience, but everyone in Akademiya knew that Sumeru's literary studies and poetry were not popular.

He decided to solve it in a simple way. He is the acting grand sage now, in other words, the person who is actually in charge of the country's decisions, so there is no difficulty in implementing them. Here's a paperwork explaining your disappearance, you're just traveling somewhere else. Not to mention, you don't have any defenses about what you're drinking. Um, the location of the property, which he was always happy with, was indeed a problem - it was too close to Akademiya, General Mahamatra might notice you, so the soundproofing was updated.

Alhaitham is an educated, decent, civilized man, so he even asks for your opinion - and you reply with some confusion, oh, tour, if you get the chance, you can take it. You choose one of several new traps invented by Kshahrewar, say it's a nice color, you don't know it will be used to lock you later though.

At the beginning, Alhaitham just wanted to keep you at home, like bringing home those roadside pigeons, so that he could observe you at any time. He will provide you with three meals, and even generously have afternoon tea, new clothes, and books. He doesn't have any erotic thoughts. However, Kaveh changed that.

Kaveh sees you trying in vain to unlock the house. It was a strange sight. (Alhaitham allows you to do this because everyone has the right to use their intelligence.) He's shocked and confused by what happened - like, is this what he thought? His roommate locked someone up? Kaveh tries to explain to Alhaitham that it's wrong to lock someone up like this, but ends up not discussing it and living with the two of you.

Gradually, you can't help but seek comfort from Kaveh, the architect who often cares about you. He brings you some desserts and is willing to hear your complaints about Alhaitham. On the weekend, Kaveh wanted to go drink with some architect friends, but stayed home after hearing your tearful plea (“Please… please don’t go, don’t leave me at home….”)

What broke this kind of life was that one day, Kaveh held your cheeks and gave you a breathless, long forced kiss. His tongue twirled in your mouth, his long fingers rubbed against your private parts. Your struggles and panics are not fully understood. Alhaitham was flipping the pages of a book on the couch, watching you being forced to kiss and fingering…and then he pressed on to you. The sound of wet slapping and sobbing echoed loudly in the living room.

Maybe, he should try this?

#alani.answers #alhaitham x reader #alhaitham x y/n #yandere kaveh #kaveh x reader #genshin impact x you #yandere alhaitham #genshin x reader #genshin impact x reader

[ikeprinces-stuff]

Pairing: Leon Dompteur x Fem! OC (self insert)

Warning: No warning

Word count: 2K

Previous fics:

Tendon Entanglement

The Melody Of A Kiss

Two Cups Of Warm Love

Tags: @leonscape @myonlyjknight @orangejuice707 @altairring @the-bird-and-the-flute @scorchieart @violettduchess @aquagirl1978 @lorei-writes @ikemen-writer @scrumptiousfirepanda @scarletlove2 @xenokiryu @chandeliermichel

•°•𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐒𝐲𝐦𝐩𝐡𝐨𝐧𝐲 𝐎𝐟 𝐋𝐨𝐧𝐠𝐢𝐧𝐠•°•

The melody of her laughter echoed in his mind like the sound of a gentle tune, always leaving him with a warm and comforting feeling. Even just the memory of it was enough to make his eyes glitter with a soft glow and bring a small, fond smile to his lips. For a moment, he was lost in thought, staring blankly at the ink pen that he was idly twirling between his fingers, his mind adrift with whatever memories it contained. It was fortunate for him that his office was empty and there was no one else there, or so he thought...

"Daydreaming again, are we?" Leon suddenly heard a voice ringing in his ears, startling him out of his reverie. As he looked up, Leon saw Vernard with his penetrating jade eyes, staring down at him with an air of boredom. The man was holding some documents related to Leon's official duties, and for a second, Leon could swear that he saw a flicker of recognition in Vernard's eyes, as though he knew exactly what Leon had been daydreaming about.

"How long have you been standing there, watching me?" Leon asked, sounding slightly annoyed. Vernard shrugged indifferently. "Long enough to let you indulge in your idle thoughts," he said in a bored tone, making Leon realize with a start that the man had been standing there for an extended period of time without disturbing him. Leon was torn between wanting to berate him for not alerting him while he was working, and thanking him for allowing him to dwell in his thoughts uninterrupted. He decided to be gracious and smiled at him, but as he reached out to take the documents from Vernard's grasp, he found that the man had not surrendered them.

"You only have an hour," Vernard repeated, gripping the papers tighter in his grasp. Leon raised an eyebrow in surprise at his brother's words and returned his smile, "I can finish it in less than that, and you know it." But Vernard refused to relent and shook his head, "I'm not referring to your work. I can't afford to tolerate your wandering thoughts at the moment. If you want to avoid any reprimand, go and sort yourself out." Leon was taken aback, blinking several times as he tried to make sense of Vernard's words. Despite Vernard's unchanging features, Leon felt like he somehow understood what was being conveyed. It was as though Vernard was telling him to "take a break."

Leon was known for his penchant for sneaking out of the palace without anyone's knowledge, but the current situation, where he was given permission, was a first for him. And because Leon knew himself and Vernard, he wouldn't let this golden opportunity go to waste. He stands up and approaches Vernard, giving his left shoulder a light tap to express his gratitude. "One hour," Vernard reiterates firmly, earning a smirk from Leon, who replies, "Can I count on you to have my back while I'm out?" Vernard sighs softly before saying, "I'll see what I can do." Leon then dashes out of the office, oblivious to the small smile that appears on Vernard's lips.

..

After leaving behind the palace grounds, Leon took to the streets in search of his purpose. He treated the quest as a game, playing hide and seek with time itself. As usual, he set his course towards the fountain in the plaza, which held a special place in his heart. And even before he got closer, he noticed something was different. The number of pigeons inhabiting the fountain seemed to have increased, which piqued his curiosity.

As Leon drew nearer the fountain, he was greeted by the cheerful cooing of pigeons and they all scattered away at the sight of him. The flapping of their wings generated a gentle gust of wind that ruffled his hair, but amidst the noise, he heard a loud groaning sound near the fountain. A smirk curled onto his face as he walked towards it, certain that he knew who was responsible for the sound.

"Why the pigeon scare?" She said, an air of annoyance laced in her voice. A half-eaten loaf of bread was in her hand, and it was clear she'd been feeding the pigeons. Leon chuckled and sneered, "I thought you were an itinerant musician, not a bird lady." He was trying to joke, but Romarin didn't crack a smile. Instead, she turned her head away and said, "My business is none of yours." The humor drained from Leon's features, replaced by a mixture of amazement and confusion. "Wait, that sounds familiar..." he whispered. The thought was fleeting, and he gave up on it, taking a seat beside her.

"Who told you that feeding birds was permitted here?" Leon retorted with a hint of humor, and she shrugged, saying, "Are you going to arrest me for it?" A small smile played on her lips, making her answer seem sarcastic. He sighed and responded, "Well, yes." As he spoke, he grabbed her wrist and forcefully lifted her from her seat. His tone changed and he said, "Mistress Romarin, you are under arrest for engaging in illegal activities." He added a smirk and expected a reaction from Romarin, who looked on in shock. "Mistress...? What are you talking about?" she asked, her voice shaking at the unexpected turn of events.

However, Leon didn't utter a word of explanation; instead, he tugged her along. Romarin tried to keep step with him and noticed that he was holding her hand firmly. Fear of falling made her protest, "Let go of my hand. Why are you doing this, and where are you taking me?" While she was confused, he turned to her with raised eyebrows and said, "You ask too many questions." "Well, can you blame me for being inquisitive?" Romarin countered, trying to sound calm, but Leon only smirked and finally stopped walking. However, his hand remained on hers, unmoving.

As the two stood in the middle of the square, Romarin finally let out a deep sigh, relieved that they had stopped moving. She noticed how Leon's grip, once tight, began to loosen. Slowly, he moved it from her wrist to her palm and caressed it gently. Feeling startled, she didn't move a muscle; her thoughts were too occupied with analyzing Leon's sudden change in attitude. The silence lasted for a few seconds, and both felt as though they were in their own world, wishing for that moment to last forever. Suddenly, Romarin realized that they had an audience.

She looked at him sternly, her eyebrows furrowed. "You really know how to put on a show, don't you?" She said under her breath, but didn't take her hand away from his. "But as I like to remind you, you started this," Leon said, making Romarin grumble, rolling her eyes. "Now you're going to bring up that same old story. Do you want me to regret everything I've done with you?" Romarin muttered, the sting of her memories sharp in her mind. She was referring to the day she kissed Leon in public, hoping to intimidate her stalker. And to her dismay, she ended up stuck with him.

Leon's voice became quiet as he whispered, "It won't work out for you if it's all just an act." Romarin said with an equally soft tone, "You really care so much, don't you? Are you my guardian or something?" She said with a hint of sarcasm, to which Leon raised an eyebrow at the mention of a 'guardian' before bursting into laughter. "I'm not going to force you to see me the way you want to see me" he said, to which Romarin rolled their eyes, "Give me a break." They continued to bicker back and forth for minutes until Leon suddenly remembered something. "Oh, I almost forgot. My time here is limited." Romarin raised an eyebrow in surprise, "Limited? What do you mean?" she asked, as if in disbelief.

“Your time is up, Leon.”

Romarin was completely caught off-guard by the unfamiliar voice echoing behind her. She instinctively turns to find out where it came from and is stunned by the sight that meets her eyes. It's as if she's looking into a different kind of mirror - instead of seeing her reflection, she seems to be looking at what she would look like if she had been born male: with the same jade green eyes as her own, the same colorless hair...as if she were looking at her twin. Her heart skips a beat as she tries to process what just happened.

"Looks like I've been caught." Leon suddenly chucked at what was said to him. Vernard stood at a distance, his eyes fixed on Leon and spoke in a serious tone, "What did I tell you? One hour." Leon shrugged his shoulders and replied, "I couldn't let that opportunity pass me by." Vernard continued, "Because of you, I had to leave my duties and follow you like a mother picking up her child from a playground." Romarin laughed at the analogy, catching the brothers' attention.

"My apologies for interfering, but Leon needs to return." Vernard said in a kind tone directed at Romarin and then turned his eyes back to Leon. He said with a serious expression, "Now." Romarin sat quietly before eventually speaking up, "Now hold on a moment. Where are you taking Leon? And who do you think you are, ordering him around like this?" Her words seemed to take Vernard and Leon by surprise, as the both looked at each other in shock at Romarin's sudden outburst.

Romarin stood in between the two men with her arms crossed tightly across her chest, her eyes fixed on the man who looked so much like her with a stern expression graced her features, as if she was defending Leon. Vernard's gaze strayed to his brother, standing behind Romarin, who shrugged nonchalantly, trying to look innocent. Vernard let out a frustrated sigh and ran his hand through his hair, turning back to face Romarin.

"I'm not anyone special, but... as Leon's superior, I'm within my rights to call him back to work." Vernard said, his voice matter-of-fact and his gaze fixed on Leon. When Romarin turned to him, she asked, "Is that right, Leon?" Leon remained silent for a moment before responding, "I have no choice but to return."

"Leon, you still have much to do." Vernard said, his voice firm but not unkind. "When you're finished, I'll give you as much time as you need to spend with her." Romarin didn't get the chance to respond before Leon placed his arm around her shoulder, causing her to stiffen for a moment. Vernard's eyebrows raised involuntarily at the sight, and his gaze shifted between the two. He didn't seem to mind the intimate behavior, and actually seemed to understand more about the situation. He sighed before whispering, "So this is her..?" Leon seemed to understand too, and stepped forward. "Shall we go?" he said, patting Vernard on his left shoulder as he had done before.

Vernard's eyes shifted towards Romarin briefly. "I'm the one who's supposed to say this," Vernard said, turning back to face his brother. "I'll wait for you there," he added as he began to walk away from the duo. Leon couldn't believe Vernard's sudden change of heart, but he couldn't help but smile at the unexpected opportunity. He turned to Romarin, walking towards her with a grin and gently taking her hands in his. Their foreheads gently touched as Leon spoke to her.

"What's going on, aren't you leaving?" Romarin asked him, surprised by his superior's reversal. Leon looked at her with a smirk before responding in kind with a playful question of his own, "Do you want me to leave?" Romarin quickly jabbed him in the chest, telling him, "Quit playing around, you know I hate that about you." But she couldn't help smiling as Leon softly laughed, gently caressing her cheek and adding, "It seems that my superior has given us extra time."

Leon takes Romarin's hand and leads her, the air around them is heavy with unspoken words and unspoken feelings. Leon and Romarin, however, seem to be able to read each other's thoughts, and they share a private moment of understanding and connection before setting off again, their hands still clasped together.

✦ 𝑬𝑵𝑫. . .

#ikemen prince #ikemen #ikemen series oc #ikemen prince oc #ikepri oc #ikemen prince leon #ikepri leon #leon dompteur #ikepri fanfic #ikepri fanfiction

[thotsforvillainrights]

Hope it's okay for me to send in an idea for Tomoko, Skeptic's daughter, but imagine a what-if scenario where Tomoko - fascinated with her dads luscious hair - wants to brush it. Skeptic figures since it's only brushing, why not? However as he gets more focused on his work/phone he doesn't notice how Tomoko has somehow acquired a pair of scissors, not until he hears that dreaded *snip* and the weight of his hair lifting

(Is it okay??? Is it okay?!??! I NEED TO WRITE THIS! This is one of the things that I'm way over the moon to write so thank you for setting me off to it. I love Dad!Skeptic and Tomoko so much😭)

~Haircut~

headcanon|scenario|imagine|match-up

"Don't even say it." He mumbles out as he keeps his eyes on his phone screen and sips his coffee again. You gasp and place a hand over your chest. "How do you even know what I'm going to say? I could literally say anything!" He looks up at you with a bored expression and rolls his eyes. "I already know what you're going to say Y/N. You'll say something like 'Oh Tomo, please watch Tomoko today while I run some errands. It's so very important and it's your turn to do it anyway. Pretty please' just like that." You laugh at his terrible impersonation of your voice. "Ugh c'mon forreal though! Pleeeease?"

It's not like you two didn't love your baby to death! It's just that she was 4 years old now and ALWAYS busy with the world around her. It was a bit difficult to focus on the task at hand when it involved taking your eyes off her for a minute. About 15 seconds was all it took for her to get into something.

"Next you'll bribe me with something scandalous thinking it'll work like usual but you're in for a surprise this time. It's not working I can guarantee it. I've got an important project to focus on today and it involves running code and setting up a huge new program test for Feel Good. I've got to focus on everything on screen. One mistake can cause me to have to backtrack really far and I don't-" You interrupt him and lean to whisper in his ear, then smirk at the way his cheeks turn instantly red. He clears his throat and looks away for a moment.

"Fine, but you better carry through on your end of the deal tonight. Just like I want it by the way, or else." You nod with a smile and peck his cheek before prepping to head out the door. In the meantime, he's gotten up and prepared Tomoko for a new day. She's had her little morning wash, brush, and breakfast along with cartoons. She seated in her favorite spot on the office carpet with crayons and coloring books scattered about. Her barbies are splayed out on the floor along with some other ignored toys while she's moved on to watching silly videos on her little purple tablet. Tomoyasu is deep in his work by now completely forgetting he has a family in the moment. His eyes quickly scan the multiple numbers and letters on the screen as his fingers furious type away uninterrupted. Maybe this is about the time he doesn't notice his child has stumbled upon a barbie makeover video on the tablet.

She likes makeup...she likes fashion...she likes haircuts.

She really liked the way they cut the hair and curled it on the barbie specifically on her screen right now. She rewound it and paused it several times to get a good view on how the style was done. She'd snuck away to grab a pair of grown up scissors and returned to the office with determination riddled on her tiny little face. She was going to recreate this haircut perfectly (as a 4 year old could), but she didn't want to practice on her barbies on the floor...nooooo. She needed a big head of hair to match the big ol' grown up scissors in her hands.

Daddy has long hair doesn't he...

It's very unfortunate for Tomoyasu that he doesn't notice a single silent snip or light tug at his hair over the sound of the keyboard and his mind running a thousand miles an hour right now. In fact, he doesn't notice anything until he suddenly feels the cool wind on the back of his neck. When he stops typing and taps back into the world around him is when he notices the sound of the scissors snip and the weight of his hair lifted. His mouth falls open in horror when he suddenly reached behind him and feels the back of his head. Suddenly a pair of tiny feet stumbles off a step stool and takes off running down the hallway, just now realizing the gravity of the situation.

He remains silent, familiar veins bulging out beneath his eyes. Old friends he hasn't seen in a while since he'd been learning to try and control his anger. He takes a look at himself in the bathroom mirror and nearly goes as white as a ghost...

(My shitty 3 minute doodle for reference in case you're wondering how it went.)

#Ah the joys of parenthood! #Dad!Skeptic #tomoyasu chikazoku #tomoko chikazoku au #au #dad!Skpetic au #bnha #mha #boku no hero academia #my hero academia #scenario

[orchestrated-serirei]

SeriRei Week Day 3: Love Languages (900 words)

Decided to change it up for today and write about them instead!

(I don't typically write and post it so I hope this formatting is okay lol and it's 4:27am sorry for any grammar or tense inconsistencies)

Reigen: Words of affirmation/acts of service

Serizawa: physical touch/quality time

Hope y'all like it~

Anyone that’s been around Reigen for any period of time will know that the man has quite a way with his words. Most of the time, he can talk his way out of any situation– which is a handy skill to have when dealing with all sorts of people in and out of the office. What actual psychic power he was lacking in, was made up for by the power his of words. 

A part of Reigen was grateful that he could be eloquent when he needed to be, but he knew more than anyone else that his words could and did cause harm to the people he cares about. This was a side of himself that Reigen hated, but being completely transparent with his feelings and being genuine through words is something that doesn’t come naturally to him. 

Reigen does his best not to hide behind his words as much as he’s gotten used to doing– but he finds that it’s easier for him to show someone that he cares for them by showing up and supporting them from behind. 

Before Reigen and Serizawa officially got together, they had spent several nights having conversations over drinks and ramen. After one too many lemon sours one night, their topic of discussion eventually devolved into Reigen briefly opening up to Serizawa about how he hated the side of himself that found it difficult to be honest and how he hurt Mob in the past. 

Ever since Serizawa started working at Spirits & Such, he had observed that Reigen wasn’t always the most truthful. He could also only recall at least one other time where Reigen unexpectedly confided in him, so hearing him do it again really caught Serizawa off guard.

Just as Reigen was about to move on after taking another swig of his drink, Serizawa piped up.

“Reigen, I know it’s not always easy for you, but I can see that you’re doing your best to change.”

He paused and stared at his drink before continuing. 

“Even if it doesn’t always work out, I know that you have the best intentions in mind, especially for the people you care about. I’m sure that Shigeo-kun can see that as well.” 

Serizawa finally breaks away from staring at his drink to finally turn to Reigen– who was now extremely teary-eyed and doing his absolute best to hold it all in. 

Maybe it was the lemon sours, or Serizawa’s genuine words of reassurance, or maybe it was both that got Reigen choked up; but whichever one it was, Reigen learned that it actually felt really nice to hear that he was doing something right.

— — — — — — — — — —

It had been about 5 months since Reigen and Serizawa started dating each other. Despite their hectic schedules, the pair made it a point to set aside time every weekend to spend at least a day or a couple of hours together uninterrupted. 

During this particular weekend, the couple decided to try out a new co-op game that had been released the day before. Reigen wasn’t much of a gamer in comparison to his partner, but he knew how much trying this game out together meant for Serizawa, so he gladly agreed to it. 

On the way home with the game in tow, Serizawa passed by a burger place that had recently just opened up. He figured it would be a perfect surprise for Reigen tonight, especially since he had mentioned wanting to try it out a few days prior. 

Eventually 6 pm rolls around.

“Taka should be here any minute.” Serizawa mutters to himself. 

As if right on cue, Reigen rings the buzzer to Serizawa’s unit. 

After greeting each other with an embrace and a short but sweet kiss, Serizawa invites Reigen to sit down on the couch. “Before we start anything, I figured you’d be hungry so I got you something.” 

Serizawa pulls out the bag filled with the burger and fries from behind his kitchen countertop. In an instant Reigen beams, gasping loudly and practically bolting over to where Serizawa was standing. “Tsuya! OH MY GOD YOU REMEMBERED.”  Reigen wraps his arms around his boyfriend before thanking him verbally and with another kiss. 

Once dinner had been consumed, they made their way back to the couch to start the game. A few minutes into playing, Reigen took the chance to snuggle into Serizawa’s side even more, resting his head in between Serizawa’s neck and shoulders. 

In turn, Serizawa pauses the game and re-adjusts himself and Reigen. He wraps an arm around Reigen and pulls him in even closer, fully enjoying the warmth between them. Serizawa then plants a kiss on Reigen’s temple and smiles at his partner warmly. “You make me feel so loved, thank you for everything.” 

Reigen’s face immediately flushes and for a moment, he is at a loss for words. Serizawa has been the only one so far to make Reigen forget how to talk at times with his sincerity– not that Reigen’s complaining. 

He regains composure and manages to respond. “I feel the same way, thanks Tsuya.” 

He smiles back at Serizawa, who’s internally melting at the sight of his boyfriend still getting flustered even after all this time.

“So how ‘bout that game? I wanna see what they’ve got in store for us. I was starting to get invested.” 

Serizawa lets out a small chuckle. “Alright, alright I’ll unpause now.”  

#serirei #serireiweek2023 #mp100 #reigen arataka #serizawa katsuya #writing

[spurious]

how about BTS for O I Think We Should Be Brethren

(Fic-Specific asks)

BTS: I’ll write a DVD commentary about my personal favorite passage from [that fic]

trap card ACTIVATED although i don't even know where to start tbh

O I Think We Should Be Brethren aka Live Oak #4 aka John Sheppard's Sad Gay Life Fic aka the longest thing i have ever completed and posted aka my sort of mcshep thesis

I did a little commentary post on the whole first chapter of this fic, soooooooooo I'll go with something from chapter 2. The thing about chapter two of this fic is that it’s kind of just a collection of episode tags, but I didn’t want it to be just a collection of episode tags, because that would be boring, but I also wanted to hew very closely to canon events but just shown through the lens of John’s developing feelings. What that got me was basically all the very clearly episode-related sections, along with sections where nothing much happens but we get some glimpses into John’s feelings, into their more mundane interactions. I was torn between choosing this or the very early section where John obliquely comes out to Rodney, because that was something I wrote really early on and informs a lot of Rodney’s actions through the story, but I feel like I might have more to say, in the aggregate, about this bit, which is set shortly after the events of The Shrine:

After what Rodney takes to calling his "brush with stupidity," he becomes obsessed with creating documentation for all of the small, essential (according to him) tasks he does around Atlantis.

I think it makes a certain level of sense that, despite having near-on five years of his life being in grave danger multiple times, the possible loss of his mind is what would spur Rodney into the realization that he probably needs to document some shit.

"I can't trust anyone else to know to do this," he explains, manic, when John finds him in a rarely-used lab at three in the morning. He's bent over a Frankenstein abomination of Earth and Ancient tech (and no small measure of duct tape), something he's obviously jury-rigged himself, and he's in such a state that, thankfully, he doesn't even think to ask why or how John found him there at this hour. "What the hell is it, Rodney?" John tilts his head, stepping in closer—it probably won't explode in his face, he figures.

Why John found him there: because he knows Rodney's driving himself nuts trying to document a million tiny things and hasn't been sleeping. How John found him there: life signs detector and several years' practice studying the Wandering Habits of the Wild McKay

"You know that old joke that the entirety of modern digital infrastructure is all leaning on some free, open-source project being thanklessly maintained by a random guy in a basement somewhere, and the whole of the internet and probably the world's banking systems will break when he either gives it up or dies?" Rodney says, hitting somewhere close to a personal best on words-per-minute and not even stopping for John's answer. "No, wait, of course you don't, you're not a geek."

I stole that joke from XKCD but it just came into my mind and I would imagine Rodney spitting the whole thing out in one uninterrupted breath. (anyway i did link it in the endnotes so)

John scowls. "Hey!" "Fine," Rodney acquiesces, "you're not that kind of geek." And that, John can agree to. He'll match Rodney on comics and sci-fi trivia and mental math, but he's never gotten too into computers that aren't on board something that can go very fast.

John being offended that after all these years Rodney still thinks he's a jock is just, cute to me alright. He's a geek, he likes geek stuff, he's just also hot and has generic man interests as well!! I like the bit about computers that aren't on board something that can go very fast, though, that feels...correct to me.

"So this is Atlantis's free, open-source project and you're the basement-dweller who thanklessly maintains it?" "Exactly," Rodney answers, apparently too wrapped up in the work to notice John's lovingly-crafted insult.

All of John's insults are lovingly crafted.

"And you're writing documentation for it?" John pulls out a chair, sprawling lazily so he can get a look at what's on Rodney's screen. He's got a laptop open with a dense-looking brick of text he's typing additions to, and a tablet with what looks like a hand-drawn schematic pulled up on it. "Oh, well-spotted, Colonel Obvious," Rodney says drily, rolling his eyes. "I doubt anyone will really understand what it does, but Zelenka's a competent enough engineer to at least be able to follow a manual." "Right," John says, and then he sits, watching Rodney type, poke at the device, curse, and type some more. About five minutes go by before he speaks again. "You could also consider just staying alive so you can keep fixing it?"

John, five years in, having watched as Rodney slowly lost everything that makes him him, is a bit weak. That's really the only explanation for why he just says the quiet part out loud, here, even though he's trying to make it sound like a joke. I like this scene because it feels right to have them have this kind of conversation, this kind of bare, quiet intimacy, while the rest of the city is asleep, cocooned together in a lab with Rodney's tech all around them.

"Well, yes, obviously that's what I would prefer as well," Rodney says peevishly, the clacking of the keyboard turning a shade violent as the pitch of his voice rises. "But apparently this galaxy has other plans for me, and it was honestly foolish of me to have gone this long without coming to terms with the fact that I could die at any moment without anyone able to continue my work, so—" John doesn't think, his hand shooting out to grab Rodney's as it flails through the air in a helpless, fatalistic gesture. Rodney stops, mouth half-open, and just stares at John's hand, wrapped around his wrist, fingers curled against Rodney's palm. They're frozen like that, both staring at their hands, until Rodney says, voice quiet, "John?"

I love this part, this image right here. John not knowing what to do and just wanting to make Rodney stop and breathe for a second. Rodney absolutely stymied by the sudden physical contact, the nearness to hand-holding, enough that he uses John's given name. Rodney's actually going through a lot, emotionally, during this fic, that all becomes eventually clear in chapter 3, and this is definitely one of the sections I wrote with all of that very much at the forefront of my mind.

John squeezes Rodney's hand, just once, and looks at his face. "I'm not going to let anything happen to you, Rodney." And it's a promise John knows he can't keep, but it's also the only thing he can think to say, because he desperately wants it to be true, to be something he can say with certainty. Rodney, of course, is a man of science, and he understands reality, understands probability. "You can't promise—" John squeezes again, feels out the broad thickness of Rodney's palm. "I've done it up till now, haven't I?"

This scene has echoes of their beer on the pier, where Rodney tries to say goodbye and John just won't, legitimately refuses to, like, engage with reality? Because on some level I think John actually does believe that he can protect Rodney, can keep him safe from harm; he knows he'll give his life for that to be the truth, and he hopes, deep down, even though he's tried very very hard to extinguish that very hope, that his love, his devotion, will be enough.

Rodney's eyebrows knit together, his gaze darting around, and then he nods, quick and final. "Yes, I suppose you have."

Rodney may not know the true depth of John's feelings, but he believes this, too. Believes in John, in a way I don't think he believes in many things.

Love and honor, protect and cherish. Till death. It may not be vows, but it feels like them, to John.

Here's the wedding vows motif making an appearance again. John, fatalistic, eyes wide open, pledging and devoting his life to Rodney even though he doesn't think it'll ever be reciprocated, because he can't do anything else. Can't do anything less. He tries, several times, throughout this story, to pull away and put some distance between himself and Rodney, and every single time it ends up failing, for one reason or another. He's drawn back into Rodney's orbit, inexorably, but he's also so wrapped up in his own inwardly-directed misery that he doesn't realize Rodney's drawn to him right back.

He swallows around the lump in his throat, standing up and using their joined hands to pull Rodney up with him. Their hands slide apart, and John steps back, puts some distance between them. "Now come on, that big brain of yours needs some sleep."

Literally right here he's putting physical distance, after saying what, to John, amount to wedding vows. It's too much, too open, and he needs to get them back to an equilibrium because it feels dangerous to let that moment sit between them for too long.

"Yeah, alright," Rodney says, gathering up the laptop and tablet before he follows John out the door.

god. okay. i gave myself a lot of feelings writing all this out!!!!!!!!!!! i love this story so much, i think it's probably the best thing i've ever written, and.....idk i'm happy to talk about it forever and ever so thank you for asking???????????????????????? seriously.

#ask meme #fic rambles

[charlesandmiranda]

Arrival!

Writing to you this morning from our hotel breakfast! Just wanted to fill in everyone about the rest of our trip before we start our first full day. I doubt we'll be able to post EVERY SINGLE DAY WE'RE HERE but we're definitely gonna try and keep it frequent enough to be interesting!

From our last post, we were heading from Baltimore to Toronto, which was a very quick hour and a half-ish flight. From Toronto, we headed straight to our gate to which started boarding shortly thereafter, so it was a pretty quick turn around. It was almost kind of a shame because airport was actually kinda pretty, and I wouldn't have hated a few extra minutes to look around at all the really lavishly decorated restaurants and stuff.

Then came the 14 hour flight. It IS a very long time, don't get me wrong, and by the end my back was VERY achy and my legs definitely craved stretching but also they keep the windows closed and the lights low for most of the trip so you honestly kind of lose track of how long you've been on there.

Charles and I both watched some movies on the flight; we started the first two episodes of Severance (which was also provided on the flight and I've been curious about for a while anyway -- anyone else here seen it?) and played games on our Switches. I also read a lot; I loaded my e-reader up before we left. In a weird way it was kind of nice to have such a long, uninterrupted time where there was nothing to do but leisure activities even if you're doing them in a mostly uncomfortable way --I think Charles and I (Charles especially) struggle with justifying how we spend our free time, always feeling like there has to be something else we can be working on or doing, but it's kind of a bad habit and terrible mental state to always be in, so we're working on it. Unfortunately, neither of us managed to get much sleep on the flight despite our best efforts, I think I managed maybe 20 minutes total?? So it wasn't super restful for sure.

Thankfully, our flight was kinda ahead of schedule, and we ended up landing around 5:00 PM / 17:00 which is like....3:00 AM for those of you in the Eastern US timezone! We're 12 hours ahead of y'all, so when I'm writing this, I'm writing to you from the future!!!

After getting through customs and immigration, baggage, etc. we were stopped by a news crew from a show called Why Did You Come To Japan? They seem to stop tourists at the airport pretty regularly, and we ended up talking to them for a while. Charles said that as someone who used to be a camera guy himself, he always tries to stop for folks filming stuff like that, because he knows how hard it can be to get people to talk to you and work with you. They were very interested in the fact it was our honeymoon, and that we got engaged here, and even more interested that we were really into Oishinbo, which is a food manga from the 80s/90s. It's not super popular in the US although personally I love & recommend it, and I kinda get the impression from the crew we spoke to that it's a classic but kinda old fashioned here. They said in all their years of doing these interviews, it was their first time having a foreigner mention it. They gave us a card and a slip of paper and asked us to contact them again, because they may be interested in meeting up with us again later in our trip to film more for the show (!?) so we'll see how that pans out I guess!

Speaking of, after we finally left the airport, we took the Skyliner train to Nippori, and then transferred to a JR Line train to get us to Shinjuku station. We've stayed in Shinjuku for at least part or all of our trips in the past, and it kind of feels like a home base for us now. We usually stay in or around the Kabukicho area, which is known as an entertainment district with lots of nightlife. If you want brilliantly lit signs and that crowded cyberpunk-y look, Kabukicho is a great place to be!

NOT THAT IT SUPER MATTERS, BUT the card in the photo, with Hello kitty and other Sanrio characters on it, is a Pasmo card, we each got one. Basically it's a little card that you can add money to, and you can use it to pay fare on most trains and buses, as well as lots of vending machines and stuff like that. You can top it off as you go as well.

We checked in to our hotel, the Shinjuku Gracery, and IMMEDIATELY needed to stretch out on the bed and shower the sweaty airport off of us, haha. The Gracery is built on top of a Toho Cinema movie theater, and the whole hotel has a very classy Godzilla theme to it. There's a to-scale Godzilla head built on top of part of the building, looking like he's about to demolish it, and he roars and blows steam out of his mouth, haha. To be honest, a night in the Gracery is one of our "we're on our honeymoon, we deserve this!" splurges -- it's one of the more expensive parts of our trip, given the rest of the time we'll be staying in smaller hotels and airbnbs and the like. We dished out a little extra cash to stay in what they call a Godzilla view room, where you can see the head of Godzilla that is mounted to the roof of the hotel from your room! Totally cool. I had to include specifically a picture of the shower, because I loooove these big hotel showers!

(sadly the filter for this exhibit not only doesn't fit my phone screen but also insanely reduced the image quality LOL)

We took a rest, then headed out to get a bite to eat. We hit up a ramen shop we'd been to in the past, and spent a while walking around the Kabukicho area, including the micro-bar district, Golden Gai. It was interesting to see what's changed and what hasn't since we were here last; for example, they were in the process of demolishing a VR arcade when we were last here, and now there's an ENORMOUS, lux-looking hotel in its place!

We ended up in the unfortunate position of feeling physically very tired but mentally pretty awake, and even though we spent time in our hotel room soaking in the bath, it was probably 1 AM our time before we actually fell asleep, meaning we were up for like....32 hours straight, I think?

Today, our plan is to check out a few shops in the area around Kabukicho, and a little later we'll be checking out and moving on to Akihabara, where our next hotel is. It's well known for being crammed with electronics and used and new like....nerd stuff, and is pretty close to a district jam packed with guitar shops, so we'll have a pretty full day! Stay tuned I suppose!!

Til next time!

[rolling-restart]

For the ask game : 20, 35, 58, 74 😁

Hi dear!!! So nice to see you here!

20. Have you noticed any patterns in your fics? Words/expressions that appear a lot, themes, common settings, etc?

So, I was discussing this with a friend who has known me since my childhood and with her help and some self-reflection, I realise that 1. I love torturing perfectionist characters 2. I don't write 100% good guys, they always have skeletons in their closets 3. I over-describe the mental state and inner dialogue of the pov character. Language-wise, my usage of conjunctive adverbs like however skyrocketed but I think it's because I mostly wrote papers rather than fics recently. Finally, I feel like there is very little movement in, for example, a 3k words scene I write compared to other writers which is again connected to me over-describing!

35. What is one essential thing to remember when writing a villain?

I love this because my villains are my proudest creations! I think there are several points to address: 1. Make them multidimensional: A villain with no reason to be evil is boring and unconvincing. They need complex motivations and backgrounds. 2. Nobody believes they are a villain: Best villains I read and write are able to justify their actions to themselves. Regret can be a theme but no one commits an evil action without feeling entitled to it for one reason or other. 3. Don't romanticise them: When describing their motivations and justifications, it is easy to give the villain too much emotional space. If you are not aiming for a villain pov, dubious morals and you want your villain to be a convincing adversary, don't romanticise them. Your character might romanticise it but as a writer, you have the ability to describe actions and events in a more transparent way (unless you are experimenting with an unreliable narrator). I have so many thoughts about it because designing a villain is my FAVOURITE THING.

58. What part of the writing process do you enjoy the most? (Brainstorming, outlining, writing, editing, etc)

I'm aware we have very different styles with you and I am fascinated by your perfectionism.

I love brainstorming via feedback. When I don't receive feedback, the new product doesn't have the substance to emerge from. By brainstorming with my readers, I feel so so much better about my writing because it shows me the best side of creating: touching other people's minds.

I don't outline much but sometimes I write down pieces of concepts to make sure I remember to write the punchy bits. My peak performances usually happen in one sitting, uninterrupted for like 2 hours. I don't enjoy/hate this part because usually, I don't remember much of it. I read it twice before posting and correct the grammar as much as I can. I am unfortunately too impatient to have a beta or do serious editing and the 'editing' process takes between 30-45 mins, which is also my least favourite part.

74. You’ve posted a fic anonymously. How would someone be able to guess that you’d written it?

Hahaha so... I only posted 2 anon fics. My usage of the language and some sentence structures are very recognisable for native speakers who are familiar with my writing, or so I've heard. Another thing to look out for is the unique concepts I write about like Slave!verse and the extent that I write them. Obviously, dead dove: do not eat is another good point of suspicion :)

Thank you so much for asking these!!! I loved answering them!!

#answered asks #sunshinesebby

[forhisglry]

My positive birth story

I write my own birth story on International Day of the Midwife, to highlight the incredible value of good midwifery support and continuity of care and how the environment that we birth in has a huge impact on our birth experience. And to reaffirm what all the research says, that birthing at home with midwifery care is safe and empowering and should be available as an option for more women. As a disclaimer, I know that birthing at home is not what all women want and may not be right for some women. I also know that many women come out of their birthing experience traumatised rather than empowered. My hope for the future of midwifery and birth is that every woman would have access to supportive woman-centred midwifery care to birth in an empowering way that is right for them in the space that is right for them- whether that is at home, in a birth centre or at the hospital. Own your birth, your body is powerful and so capable. It was created to do this.

For me, choosing a homebirth was essential. As a midwife, I know the benefits of uninterrupted labour, and wanted to be in a space where this was honoured and I could birth on my terms. I also knew the challenge I would have with switching my midwife brain off in labour and stepping into the primal brain required to labour well. Being at home meant I was away from my workplace and other people’s birth stories, and was safely in my own space to write my own story. Thankfully, Darwin has a publicly funded homebirth program that I fit the low-risk criteria for, so I was quick to book into this early in my pregnancy.

Choosing a homebirth was also a step of faith for me. For a long time, I’ve had a fear that I’d never be able to birth my babies vaginally. A midwife once said to me when I was 19 that my ‘pelvis was too small to birth’, and it’s haunted me ever since. (A reminder that the words you speak over people, even off-hand comments, have power). Birthing Reuben at home, all 4230 grams of him, was a real step of faith in trusting God over my fears. And in that, He reminded me in a very real way that through him all things are possible, and that not only can I birth my babies, I can birth chunky big ones. It broke my fears of untruths spoken to me long ago. I write this birth story to give God the glory.

During my pregnancy, my husband Jonno and I spent 3 months on the road travelling. It was an amazing bonding time together and we grew a lot in our relationship. While on the road, I saw a midwife in Yackandandah, Victoria, several times over the course of our travels. In our short time together, her midwifery approach and philosophy resonated deeply with me, and I felt valued and listened to. I loved getting some continuity of care even as we travelled.

We arrived back in Darwin at 35 weeks pregnant. In the weeks leading up to birth, Jonno and I did a hypnobirthing course and I read through Rhea Dempsey’s books ‘Birth with confidence’ and ‘Beyond the birth plan.’ These both really helped in my mental and emotional preparation for birth. I spent time every day working through thoughts and fears of birth, and taking my birth to God in prayer and letting go of control. The wait is hard and takes a surrendering of your own will. It’s a strange time of anticipation and stillness. I loved and hated it. I desperately wanted my baby to come, but valued those precious moments with just me and Jonno. Five days after my due date, I started to have some mild crampy niggles but nothing particularly painful or regular at all. It was a Sunday, and Jonno and I spent the day together pottering around and went for a long beach walk in the evening, watching a beautiful sunset. That night I woke up at 4am with surges coming every 10 minutes, not too painful but enough to stop me from sleep. I got up so I didn’t wake up Jonno with my tossing and turning and sat on my exercise ball in the living room with a heat pack on my tummy.

He woke up to get ready for work a couple of hours later. With irregular contractions only once every 10 minutes, I told him to still go to work, thinking it might carry on like this for some time, and wanted to maximise the time that he’d have off work after the baby arrived. Before he left for work I got him to put the TENS machine on my back. It was absolute magic. I kept it on all day.

As the morning progressed, the surges began to get a little closer together but were still irregular and I was coping fine. I spent the day trying to distract myself. I played some cards, danced around the living room, rested a little and practiced some good positioning.

By 3 in the afternoon I was struggling to motivate myself and stay distracted. Jonno had been calling me up every couple of hours from work to check on me, but my surges were still only every 5 minutes or so and pretty manageable so I didn’t think he needed to come home early, but I was keen on some company and motivation. At this point I called Jenelle, an amazing midwife and friend who has previously been a part of the homebirth team, and had agreed to be a part of my birth support team. She was just what I needed in that moment. She entered my birth space and helped me to draw in my focus, where I was having a ‘crisis of confidence’ moment. I broke out in tears when she got there, and told her I didn’t think I could do it. She looked me straight in the eye and said ‘well, you don’t like the alternative do you!’, which really helped to kick my head into gear.

Up until this point I had been experiencing all of my surge pain in my pubic bone, so Jenelle felt my baby’s position and we realised he was posterior with a deflexed head. We got hard to work right away with various positions and massage to try and realign bub and release tension from my pelvis. As we moved around, we chatted about all things from magic mushrooms and the golden valley tree park in Balingup, to candles, to my mum and my relationship with Jonno. It was excellent distraction and really helped me to relax. At one point I felt an unusual popping sensation, like my baby just swung into place, and then things were on pretty big from there. This happened right before jonno got home at 5.30pm, and then it was suddenly all systems go.

My lovely housemates set up my birthing space with the birth pool in the living room, while Jonno supported me for a while in the shower, and at some point my support team called my homebirth midwife to attend. The intensity of labour ramped up and there were so many moments where it felt unbearable. Labour truly does take you to the end of yourself, and it was my incredible support circle that really kept me grounded throughout the whole journey. I never once felt like they didn’t think I could do it and never once felt afraid. When I looked around the room I felt believed in and surrounded by love. One of the affirmations I had written on the wall was the Bible verse ‘There is no fear in love, but perfect love drives out fear’, and it was so true in that space. I really felt carried by God throughout the whole journey. What surprised me was how much I needed interaction in labour. In most situations in life when I’m struggling, I tend to internalise and go quiet, but I found that in labour, talking to my team and giving myself little pep talks really helped me to keep going. It never felt like there were surplus people in the room, every person in my circle had an important role. Poor Jonno was well outnumbered by midwives! Besides Jenelle, my housemate Jos was there as another support person, and I had the 2 wonderful homebirth midwives.

Some time after 8pm, I felt like I had exhausted all other coping options, and that I wouldn’t be able to do this much longer. I got into the birth pool and it felt like the most blissful thing in the world. I floated around the water like a mermaid, my body giving me some much needed longer breaks between surges and I rode the endorphins through each rest. As the surges continued, I instinctively moved my body around the pool to make space for my baby. It felt so good to move in a weightless and unrestricted way.

Some time after 9 o’clock, I started feeling that involuntary urge to push and after fighting it for a while, Jenelle reminded me to go into it, not to resist it. So I went with the feeling and it felt good to do something, but I didn’t feel like I was really getting anywhere fast. My midwife suggested that I spend some time sitting on the toilet- aka dilation station. I did this and really felt his head move lower. I got back in the water around 11pm and jonno got in the water behind me, which really grounded me as I continued to push. My support team held up a mirror through my surges, and seeing his head slowly emerge really spurred me on to keep going. His head birthed slowly and smoothly, giving my body a chance to stretch and move as it needed to. He was calm the whole way through and his heart rate was steady. I birthed my baby in the water at 3 past midnight to the sweet joyful sounds of Celtic music (that we had playing in the background throughout labour). His head was born on the 17th and his body on the 18th! It was the most surreal moment. My boy was quiet and calm and he stared at me and Jonno as we sat in the pool. After birth we got out of the pool and waited for the placenta to come naturally, leaving my boy attached to his umbilical cord until well after the placenta had birthed. We had a few hours together at home, breastfed and introduced our dog Tobin to his baby brother, then I had to get transferred to hospital for repair of a tear from birth. We weren’t in hospital long, and came back home and settled in later that morning, riding high on the blissful oxytocin. What a wild and beautiful ride.

Birth looks different for everyone. And what is right for me is not necessarily right for other women. We can’t control a lot of the circumstances we get dealt around our birth. But there are ways we can be empowered and set ourselves up for success no matter what kind of birth we have. My birth of Reuben wasn’t textbook. But what an incredibly empowering and exhilarating experience and witness to God who makes all things possible. I wouldn’t change a thing.

As with most labours, it was intense and filled with moments where I lost confidence or couldn’t bear it any longer, but I was surrounded by 4 incredible midwives and my husband who had complete confidence in me and the capacity of my body to birth this baby. And that helped me carry on. They gave me space and time for my body to move and open in the way it needed to to let my baby through and they trusted that process, not trying to control it. I was at home, where I was safe, where I did not feel observed or put on a time-line or made to conform with the way we’re taught labour is meant to go. My contractions were not a regular pattern- they blended from long to short and spaced out to allow my son to move the way he needed to move. I was not ‘assessed’ on progress, and slowly pushed his whopper head and body out gently and slowly in the way it needed to be; I was not rushed. There were minutes between his head and body, but he was calm and his heartbeat was normal, because the process was undisturbed. He needed time for his big body to navigate through. I was listened to and felt safe to speak out my fears of birth, knowing that my support circle had my back to speak truth and courage and power back over me again. It wasn’t perfect, I felt my tailbone pop during labour, which is still giving me some grief when I sit, and I had a decent tear, but it was my body powerfully shifting and making space in the way it needed to for my baby to be born. It wasn’t perfect, but I loved it. And I would do it again in a heartbeat. What I am so thankful for, is that knowing what I know as a midwife, my labour and birth in another setting could have had a very different outcome. If I had been assessed on progress and been monitored as to the expected pathway of labour, I would have likely ended up with an oxytocin infusion, probably a forceps delivery with a shoulder dystocia and an episiotomy, all of which would have been deemed necessary, but weren’t really. But instead, I was privileged to be in a space where I was trusted and supported, where I could move how I needed to move, where my body was afforded the opportunity to birth in its own way: a privilege I wish more women had. It’s not to say that those interventions aren’t necessary in some cases, but how many more women would birth their babies without them if we watched and waited more and held space for women.

I’ve been a midwife for years but experiencing birth for myself has given me a whole new appreciation for the incredible role, support and wisdom of midwifery care and gently and confidently holding the space for birth.

I’m so grateful for Gods hand in my birth. I’ve learnt more of what it is to trust his perfect design and wait patiently on him. He is good.

[sobeautifullyobsessed]

You know I gotta ask about my dilfy, Shakespearian babe, Defender. Reread "No Defense for the Heart" the other day, and you write him so romantically, I gotta do a few. 💖

☾ - sleep headcanon

✿ - sex headcanon

♡ - romantic headcanon

♒ - cooking/food headcanon

Thank you so, so much - I love Defender an unfathomable amount, and he presents an exquisite canvas upon which to paint my ideal romantic qualities!💖🖤💖

☾ - sleep headcanon

617 Stephen perfected the art of maximizing his sleep time during grad school (getting his MD & PhD at the same time necessitated it), and that skill served him well during his internship and residency. Basically, he trained himself to fall asleep just about anywhere and anytime he could. Now, with the great demands on his time, as both the Sorcerer Supreme and leader of the Defenders, he has even less time than ever before--so when the chance for several hours uninterrupted sleep arises, he seizes it with great relish. Sleeping deeply while experiencing dreams he can often recall with great clarity. Such sleep--whose ultimate purpose is to enable him to better serve his responsibilities--refreshes him beyond any in his life. Perhaps we should call it the 'sleep of hte just'.😉

✿ - sex headcanon

Defender was always a man of rich appetites, and so had never stinted from drinking fully of whatever cup came his way. Which was fine in his life as medical student and then doctor--but now he chooses an ascetic lifestyle so that his energies can be directed more fully to his mission. Yet still, he possesses a powerful sex drive--and all that honing his body into a powerful weapon in service to good, has resulted in a stamina he rarely has time to expend.

Ah, but when he does!

When he does, he lavishes waves and waves of pleasure and ecstasy upon his lucky lover. Devotes himself to pleasing them before he fulfills his own pressing need. Takes supreme satisfaction and pride in wringing multiple orgasms from their flesh with his skilled fingers and sensual mouth, reveling in the sinful taste of them and in their moans and the sound of his name cried out like their truest prayer as they peak. He delights in being the one in control and in how softly his lover concedes herself to him. Only then does he seek his own resolution, setting a breathtaking rhythm as deeply inside as he can get, spilling himself with abandon (he prefers unprotected sex, but will wear a condom at the lady's request). Afterwards, he lingers inside her for as long as possible, for the reality of that physical connection is too beautiful to forgo until he absolutely must.

Defender adores the act of cockwarming, but will always ask first if it's alright to indulge in. And if he ever goes a bit rough in his enthusiasm when he fucks, his aftercare is the loving offering he gives to prove the depth of his devotion.

The man he is now--the man he was always meant to be--views romantic love and sex as inextricably bound. And he wouldn't want it any other way.

♡ - romantic headcanon

Stephen has always had the gift of a deep and romantic heart--and although he hasn't always allowed himself to follow it's inclinations due to the circumstances at the time, he sees the world through loving eyes. He fell easily in love as a teen and young adult. Wrote poetry (usually kept secret) for the girl/woman of his affection, used music as a means of romantic expression. Taught himself to play the guitar for that very reason, in fact (his mother taught him to play the piano as a child, and he was good enough to briefly consider making it his career, until his heart directed him to saving lives through medicine).

With his patrician good looks and easy charm, pre-accident Defender had a score of lovers--mostly short term--in his past. Though contradictory to his deeply romantic nature, he found it best to avoid entanglements of the heart as he single-mindedly pursued his goal of innovating the science of neurosurgery. He had so much to do, and so little time in those days, that he couldn't allow himself such a beautiful distraction. That was until Christine of course.

But by that time, he had become out of practice with allowing himself to be vulnerable, of speaking the truth of his heart, of trusting that he was as worthy of the love he felt for her to show her properly and let her love him in return. Once he realized he could and should, the weight of his life-altering responsibilities precluded that. He'd always hoped one day they might yet get it right, when things calmed down, when he finally had time. When she would see past his ineptitude and failure to say and show her the things she deserved, and finally claim what had been hers all along. But along came Charlie.

The most devastating lesson of Stephen's life--for his romantic nature could only experience that heartbreak as even worse than the loss of his hands.

But like the most hopelessly romantic among us, though his heart bears its scars, Stephen still believes that one day he'll find someone to love and be loved by again. He's confident he won't be repeating the mistakes of his past--for he has vowed he will follow his heart completely the next time.

♒ - cooking/food headcanon

In his old life, Stephen could afford to frequent the finest restaurants in the City, and his work gave him the excuse to do minimal cooking for himself. After the accident and the depletion of his fortune, he had to resort to much simpler choices. Lots of meatless days, lots of pasta or rice because they were the most filling. Before he found his way to Kamar-Taj--where the kitchens were always open for Masters and students alike to use between meals--he'd had to frequent soup kitchens to keep from going days at a time without eating. What a humbling experience that was!

The first night he availed himself of the smaller compound kitchen (he'd been deep in study of texts on interdimensional energies and had missed supper completely) he'd made himself a simple grilled cheese sandwich. And wept as he ate it, to realize the gift of the freedom and luxury which the haven of Kamar-Taj now provided him.

These days, the Sorcerer Supreme enjoys cooking for himself on quiet nights as a means to relax. His meals may not be anything to brag about, but Defender made a point of teaching himself at least one dish from every culture represented in the compound's population. He figured it would be useful if there came a student experiencing difficulties or homesickness; Wong keeps him informed of those who might need that extra bit of care, and though such students are admonished not to share the secrets of their meals with the Sorcerer Supreme, with others, it soon became common knowledge that a summons to meet with him after the cafeteria was closed for the night, meant they'd be experiencing a taste of home.

And since the success of his little program, Stephen finds the most satisfying meals he makes are those meant as gifs to others.

Ohmygosh, writing these for Defender has been a most satisfying experience of it's own! Thank you once more @thealleydog for prompting me to put these instinctive headcanons into words.

🥰🦋🥰

HEADCANON MEME

#Ask games #thealleydog #my writing #Defender Strange headcanons #Defender Strange head canons #Defender Strange #617 Stephen #My Beloved Defender #Strangebatch #loml #My Eternal Muse #thank you kindly🥰

[narratingvoice]

How do you deal with writer’s block?

Ahhh, writer's block. The most relatable and universal of terrors. Is there anything more frightening than staring down at the white abyss of the empty page? Is there any pain more acute than being unable to wrest the words out of your head and into a story? No, surely not. (In fact, you'll never believe why I took several days to respond to this ask.) But I have been a writer for a long time, so by necessity I have devised a few methods of coping with the looming dread. Here are a couple of tips:

Write as if you're talking

One of the most common reasons for writer's block is that you want your writing to be perfect. Of course you do, why wouldn't you? But you keep going over the words in your mind over and over before you even write them down, and that's the problem. You need to think of it like you're having a conversation with a silent companion. When you chat with a friend, you don't look back at the sentence you just said and think "that was rubbish". You just let it be part of the conversation. And I for one am certainly known for my grandiloquence when speaking orally; in fact I'd say it's one of my best features. So just write down something, anything, that says the thing you want to say. Then once you've said it, you can rewrite it over and over again until it's perfect. Don't move on to the next section until you've polished it to a mirror sheen.

2. Have a punching bag

I don't mean a literal punching bag, although you certainly could use one if you so desire. I mean you need to have something harmless that you can unleash your built-up frustration on. One cannot craft a thrilling narrative when one's mind is clouded by self-doubt. My punching bag is a large plush tyrannosaurus I call Muriel. I like to take her to a nice dark out-of-bounds area where no one can see me, and hug her tightly to my chest while I let out an uninterrupted scream for as long as I possibly can. (This is usually several hours.) If I am feeling especially angry, I will punch her, bite her, and throw her at a wall until I calm down. And if that still doesn't work then I will drop Stanley into the void for a quick laugh.

3. Re-read your old stuff

If you ever have doubt about your ability to create believable dialogue and character, all you need to do is take a trip down memory lane. Simply read something you wrote in the past, and if you're anything like me, your heart will fill with a swell of pride and accomplishment. You can write! You've done it before and you'll do it again! I recommend making a binder, file folder, or shrine containing all your past works, so you can easily find them and remember them whenever you want. Oh, and if you published them in a place where you can get comments or reviews, save and print out all the good ones. That way you will know that it's not just your ego; other people enjoy your creative ability as well.

Do not save the bad ones. That will not lead to anything good. Trust me on this one.

If this is your first time writing anything, make up some imaginary good reviews that you think should exist once the work is finished, and look at them.

4. Use spite

It may seem counter-intuitive, but spite is actually a fantastic motivator for getting work done. What you need to do is find an author you really hate and read a bit of their work. In no time at all, you will be thinking to yourself, "I can definitely write something better than this dreck. If this can get published then so can I!" For me, all it takes is a couple of chapters of any Tom Clancy novel. Just be careful you don't read so much that it drives you into a murderous rage; if that happens, revert to tip #2 above.

And that's all I can think of for now! Good luck, and know that I believe in you! You have a story worth telling!

#tsp #the stanley parable #ask blog #reply

[us-military-official]

79 years ago this month, The US "liberated" the Japanese island of Saipan. I'll describe here why, of many territorial changes during WW2, Saipan most certainly was not "liberated"

[Trigger warnings]: Most any triggers associated with war. Including but not limited to: racism, oppression, US internment camps, suicide, infanticide, truly horrific propaganda, explainations (NOT excuses) for the Imperial Japanese Government and Military's actions throughout the war

Note: I've written the intro and this post has already become excessively long. Please realize it will not be exhaustive, complete, or perfect. I intend primarily to call attention to the US' past mistakes, especially that we have buried the history within our own country. If you feel something is important to add, be it context, corrections, or anything else, I invite you to leave it in the notes. My research and understanding of history is constantly evolving, as everyone's should be, and more information should be accepted but also fact checked.

Final (after writing) Note: You will find some trace humor in this post. Not because the situation is humorous or light, but in fact the opposite. Any joke or humorous organization, or what have you, is because I've been writing this for (checking and doing math) around two hours. I've cried, I've been angry, I AM angry, and I needed to make it emotionally readable and writable. (although I did stop myself from an outright joke or two, to not make light of the situation) There are points where I am utterly unserious around this terribly serious event. I do not handle uninterrupted seriousness well--

-- All comments, information, questions (though perhaps you can research for yourself and com back to comment what you learned!) and yes even opinions and thoughts are welcome in the notes. Hate is not. No one who reads this post will interact with any hate in the notes, and everyone who read will block you. This is not strictly a no-trolls-allowed-zone, but it is a no-troll-food zone. You have been warned, and thank you for reading this already too-long Tumblr post

The Battle of Saipan took place in June and July of 1944. The US army, particularly the air force, wanted the island as a staging point to send bombers on raids to Tokyo

With US victory in the battle impending, the Imperial Japanese leaders redoubled propagandizing to the citizens of the island. Most of these citizens were native to the island and didn't consider themselves "racially" (the term used by the Imperial government) Japanese. Many more were Korean slave laborers deported from territory occupied by the IJA.

This propoganda was largely focused on convincing soldiers and civilians not to surrender. They accused American soldiers of using their (IJA) own terror tactics. Mutilation of the dead, enslavement, and worse.

But as I'm wont to do, I'll be going into the details of the good ol' USofA's role in the mass suicides in Saipan. The Japanese Empire bears enormous blame, and I will not trivialize that. The US also bears enormous blame. Since calling out my country is why I'm here, and because the US' role in Imperial Japan's policies and culture is very unknown in the US, that's my focus

In early 1944- hmm nope we gotta go back further.

In February 1942- wait. fuck. a little further.

in July 1941 the USA- okay I promise this is the last one. deep breath, this is quite a time jump.

In 1919 Japan proposed an amendment to the Treaty of Versailles. It was called the Racial Equality Proposal. It did gain widespread support. Several countries, notably the USA, opposed the proposal and prevented its acceptance.

Japan was the only non-western world power allowed to the Paris Peace Conference in 1919. The Japanese Empire's government sought closer relations with the western powers and integration into their systems.

Details on the proposal, as with most aspects of political history, could be a series of posts in itself. Here are what I consider the most important points and context for my discussion:

Japan was seeking equality among races only of UN-predecesor, the league of Nations, states. This proposal came in 1919, and legal segregation existed in the US until at least 1968. The US, Australia, New Zealand, and Canda had taken or did take steps to inhibit Japanese immigration.

I will note that The Japanese Empire did hold ideas of their own racial superiority over other Asian people and people further abroad as well. Also that one driving force behind the proposal was Japanese suspicion that the predominantly white and western empires of the LoN would use it to exercise control over the Japanese people they themselves considered inferior. The proposal was intended largely to convince opposition within Japan to join the LoN.

-----

In July 1941, the second great war is raging. France has fallen. Less than a month has passed since Hitler broke the Molotov-Ribbentrop pact and invaded the Soviet union. The US population is reluctant to enter another world war (although FDR, for his myriad upon myriad faults, sees that the world must stand together) but is sending enormous amounts of supplies from military to basic necessities to the Allied Powers. The Germany-Japan-Italy axis won't be broken until 1943

Then the US makes what some call a strategic blunder, and others call FDR's 4D chess mastermind gambit to end the war. The truth is somewhere in between, or perhaps on a different scale altogether.

On July 28, 1941 the US freezes all Japanese assets that they hold and cease all oil shipments to Japan, which is using oil to maintain sea lane supplie routes to Indochina, where the Imperial Japanese Army (IJA) is taking yet more territory, as well as powering their war planes and armor.

Japan sees the western colonies in Asia as strategic encroachment, as unjust rule by ideas of white racial superiority, and most importantly, a potential source of resources. Food, oil, rubber, slave laborers, comfort (sex slave) women, and on and on.

I cannot go into the strategic ideas of pearl harbor and the invasion of the Philippines and other European Asian colonies in detail here. The overall IJA strategy is thus: delay American reaction, take territory, make retaking it too expensive for the Allies, negotiate peace.

---

February 1942. The US is recovering from the total shock of pearl harbor. Colonies have been lost. Soldiers and non-combatants massacred and worse. The Allies have agreed at 1941's end: none will make seperate peace with any Axis power, and nothing short of unconditional surrender will be accepted.

This month, the US creates internment camps for all Japanese-americans. Citizens, recent immigrants, children, people with power, people with money, people with nothing. Multiracial families are broken apart. The US propagandized these camps as places where Japanese-Americans could live normally without the ability to accrue intelligence or pass it to the Japanese Empire. In reality, they were mass prison camps.

Since then, the US has committed repeated instances of what are now recognized as war crimes against Japan. The US hasn't been much, if any, better to the people in territories it has retaken.

---

The Battle of Saipan begins in June 1944. D-Day has passed, Allied Normandy, France beacheads have become captured harbors and inland positions. Attrition among Japan and Germany's forces point to total defeat without a real change, and the Allies greatly outproduce them in war material. The Japanese Empire, civilian government and armed forces alike, is putting its endgame into practice.

The Imperial Japanese Army (and other branches) is in fact independent from the government, although both are subordinated totally to the emperor.

The endgame? Cost the Allies, America in particular, more lives than domestic support can tolerate. Force a negotiated peace. Fight to the last soldier on every island, on every hill, with every bullet, and with bayonets and rocks when the bullets and shells run out

Unfortunately for the Empire, the US is going to take Saipan. The deep problem here? If news of American soldiers bringing gifts and befriending the people of the island, the mandate to give their lives for the emperor might falter. Why fight to the last when the Americans only seem to want the war to end?

So American soldiers must be portrayed as horrifically as American propogandists portray Japanese people. American soldiers must be killers, monsters, rapists, anything that will keep the people of the island from letting themselves be taken.

Eventually no war supplies remain. So the Empire gives the soldiers, civilians, slaves, and other inhabitants their final order. Die in the name of the emperor. So the population of Saipan, soldiers and non-combatants, committed mass suicide.

Here I will leave another trigger warning. If you do not wish to read graphic details, please skip the next paragraph.

--------

Soldiers on Saipan pulled grenade pins and held them. People threw themselves from cliffs onto the rocks by the thousands. Parents walked into the sea, or jumped with, or threw their children ahead of them. Because surely even this was better than what the American barbarians would do to anyone captured.

This was proven largely false as time went on, but the will of the Japanese people did not break. The will of the Army Staff didn't break after two atomic bombs. They tried to prevent the emperor from surrending, but they failed.

But why did the people of Saipan, not primarily people who called themselves Japanese, believe what they were told? The reasons are many of course, and probably impossible to truly ever completely understand. But I posit the following

America forced Japan's partial surrender with inhuman threats via Admiral Perry's "gunboat diplomacy" in the 1850s, and forced the nation the rejoin the international community that had already treated the nation horrifically.

American policy was that Asian people were inferior to white people.

America invaded other Asian island nations and made them colonies, despite their semi-recent anti-imperialism bent

America participated in bombing to intentionally create murderous firestorms in German and Japanese cities that killed more civilians than both atomic bombs.

America sent pilots on near-suicidal, never before seen raids of Tokyo from carriers at maximum distance to punish Japan for Pearl Harbor. The intention was to burn down the most flammable targets: civilian housing

Germany and the Allies traded war crime for war crime like it was a game of chicken where enemy civilian lives, white civilian lives, superior in importance within America by law, were worth less than nothing.

America classified anyone with a traceable Japanese heritage in the United States as a hostile agent and imprisoned them. Right down to the children and the proud American citizens who happened to be from Japan, or have a great great great grandparent from Japan.

What if you were on Saipan? Would you have said "surely we can trust the Americans? Surely they're here to liberate, to save, to restore peace?"

Would you have said that after a hundred of your friends chose death with and for their families? How about after a thousand?

around 26,000 civilians were on the island before the battle. American soldiers interned around 18,000 after the battle ended.

The US government will still cite justifications for Japanese-american internment, even if it isn't totally unapologetic. Many Americans believe we were the liberators and even the primary or sole heros of the war.

We don't talk about the abhorrent propoganda the US put out about Japanese people, as a race. Terrifyingly similar propoganda to how the Nazis portrayed their enemies, in particular Jewish and Slavic people: untermensch. subhuman.

In the few documentaries I've ever found that mention Saipan, the evil is the Japanese Empire. The government, the armed forces, the emperor.

I've never heard so much as one sentence about the role of the US. the 100 years our country spent boring their racial, their cultural, their religious, their might, their moral superiority into the minds of friend and foe alike.

Not so much as "The people of Saipan, caught between their government's propoganda and American hate"

I've never heard "These people who knew that every Japanese person in America was declared a criminal by default, acted in fear"

I've never heard "The people trapped on the island who wondered if the war crimes that happened on the mainland would happen here. They knew that America answered war crime with war crime, and Japan had committed plenty itself"

So in this anniversary month of the suicides of as many as 8,000 civilians ahead of the approaching American forces, I wanted to share the context that I had to dig for and piece together myself.

I'm aware this is a nigh unreadable post. But if one American skims it and questions what they've been taught, it was worth writing

if one person anywhere reads this and thinks "we should try harder to consider the causes, and effects, and context of our actions" it was worth writing.

I hope you'll take a moment to remember the people who came (and those who come today) to America for a better life only to receive discrimination and then imprisonment. A moment for the people whose government found it all too easy to radicalize them.

And a moment for the eight thousand people who were so afraid of America, and rightfully so, that they chose to die pointlessly lest they become yet more Japanese victims of American hate.

------

and of course: this is a Tumblr post. I have not sited my few barely used sources. I have not covered this one event even, in any real depth. And I certainly haven't covered it without bias. I'm not sure anyone who knows the truth could do that.

so do your own research. don't take me at my word, but go look into the context named here and otherwise. Learn about the history my government hides, and the history yours hides too. Because it's there

and know that the words "Never Forget" and "Never Again" about the Holocaust, the war crimes, and the rampant disregard for humanity are just that, words.

You can't "Never Forget" if you don't know what happened. We can't ensure "Never Again" if we don't understand the causes, the mistakes, and how we avoid them.

#world war 2 #world wars #saipan #japanese history #American history #world history #long post #long ass fucking post #war crimes #imperialism #anti imperialist

[z-h-i-e]

36. They say to Write What You Know. Setting aside for a moment the fact that this is terrible advice...what do you Know?

I end up on the fence on the 'write what you know' advice. On one hand, I do it constantly, but on the other hand, I'll go learn things so that I can write what I now know. It's that whole 'method writer' thing for me -- which is, undoubtedly, what I am, because I argue I'm more a storyteller who sometimes writes things down than a writer. Anyone who has spent significant amounts of time with me in Discord has gotten to hear headcanons and scenes and dialogue which may or may not ever be written. But I digress...

What do I know... I feel like I've lived a very blessed life in many regards because of all I've had a chance to experience. I am or have been all of the following: musician, artist, teacher, librarian, retail clerk, professor, politician, advocate, genealogical lecturer, consultant, writing coach, life coach, event coordinator/scheduler, manager, newsletter writer for a historical society. I ran my own business twice. I've worked in the public sector, private sector, and as an independent contractor. I've had many opportunities and had a chance to see things from many facets -- in theatre, for example, I've been a musician in the pit, an actor on the stage, and director behind the curtain, and a playwriter who should have been in the audience but knew the stage manager and got to hang out in the wings.

I seize opportunities - sometimes, I end up a little overwhelmed, but I (usually) overcome the obstacles and succeed. Where we came from and what we know makes us who we are. I was poor twice and middle-class twice. There's a big difference between eating ramen because it's what I could afford and eating ramen because I want to eat ramen (I'm eating ramen right now). All of those experiences start to seep into writing. When I was four years old I almost died. I spent the better part of a week in an oxygen tent. Since then, I've dealt with neurological and muscular issues that suck, but are better than the alternative. I didn't sleep, really sleep, until I was 35, when I was diagnosed with apnea. Sleeping scared me the first time I got a full 8 hours of uninterrupted sleep. 8 hours of unawareness. Nightmares were worse -- no one should have their first true nightmare in their mid-30s. That shit was really hard to unpack. My therapist should have been paid double the going rate for that year. (I'd had some weird fever dreams prior to that -- around ten years earlier, I had a second 'shouldn't have lived through that' experience when I rocked a temperature of 106 for several days -- but those were nothing compared to actual nightmares.)

Fanfiction is a much cheaper alternative to therapy (and, solidly gets an A+ from my therapist as one of my top coping mechanisms). It's journaling about life, it's sharing ideas, it's documenting daily journeys, it's fun and relaxing, and I've been doing it since I was 8. That is a significant stretch, really. The first piece was turned in as a school assignment. I used to write fanfiction for Super Mario Brothers, Rocky & Bullwinkle, Star Trek: The Next Generation, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, and of course, ThunderCats. And I'd read it to classmates during class time, voices and all. I got to do my junior year cultural paper on Klingons, and I gave a lecture senior year on literary sources and their connection to the themes and storylines in ThunderCats. I have continued to read fanfiction in public at open mics and other events - it's the best way to mainstream and normalize it, and gosh darn it, it's been a far easier nerdom thing to normalize than furry bowling nights were. (I do miss furry bowling night, though. But I digress.)

So I do end up writing about things I know, and I've lived long enough to have a whole bag of holding full of experiences and memories to draw from -- and when I don't know something, I (usually) want to go and learn about it. I took up kickboxing and karate in college so that I could learn how to better write fight scenes. I spent a month of driving on my own to places I'd never been before to get into Fingon's head a little more (because you know, rescuing Maedhros was not the first time Fingon up and left on his own). I keep a bow at the door, next to my red shoes, because I think that's what Beleg would have done. I took the golden flowers growing at the house we live in as the sign that we should buy that house, even though it was a short sale and a pain in the ass to get through, because I was going to find a way to live in the House of the Golden Flower even if it took all summer (and it just about did). Then we planted strawberries there, for Samwise, because you know he and Rosie would absolutely have strawberries growing in their garden. (I can't take credit for the fox that lives in our yard - he showed up on his own - but it's as good of a second confirmation sign as any that we did end up in the right place.)

So that's a lot, and my lunch is almost over, but I almost feel like the question is less what do I know and more what do I not know. Everyone draws a line somewhere.

Horses. I do not know horses. Middle-earth has a lot of fucking horses in it. He's got a horse, she's got a horse, this elf over here's got a war horse, this other one has a war horse but it has jingle fucking bells on it... yeah. Lots of horses. Now, I'm in a state with lots of farms. Fair amount of horses. I see five different horses on my drive to work every day. Why is horses not a thing in the what we know category... well, I'm pretty convinced that with a head that size, you never know when one is going to open its mouth like an alligator and eat you. I'm not taking chances. Don't talk to me about logistics or physiology. I didn't make it this far in life to be eaten by a horse. So we're going to play it safe on this one and just read a book. I have a bunch of books about horses. Riding horses, fancyass dressage books, horse identification. People see my books, they say, wow, you must like horses! Hells no. You ever hear the whole 'keep your friends close, keep your horses that might eat you in two bites closer' line? Well, now you have. So that which I do not know and do not experience comes from books.

The end.

Thank you for your question, Anonymous.

#zhie's random thoughts and musings #writing stuff #writing advice

[nagdabbit]

10 and 21 (for the eddie timeloop)

10. How do you decide what to write?

oh jeez, i dont even know. i am a "lay in bed and daydream stories for several hours straight" type person, and also a "try to look at this story from every possible angle before picking the wanna you wanna see" person, so usually ill just construct my little movies in my head, over and over and over, until ive taken an idea to it's logical conclusion, and sometimes that's enough, and sometimes it ends up being at thing that i need to share because i can't accurately convey the way i just daydreamed myself into crying

21. If you wrote a “missing scene” in [insert fic], what would it be?

oooooooooooo that's so tough! come through callin' had such a deliberate structure to the way it was written (it was originally going to be one long, uninterrupted chapter, because it was supposed to feel just as overwhelming to read as it was for mox in it) that anything i would want to add would almost have to change the whole structure and break it up more

without fully restructuring the whole thing, i think i would want to write a few more scenes between between mox and renee, especially that conversation once the loop has broken and they're in jacksonville. i have this thing in my head where i have a very vivid imagination for events and objects and locations, but i just can't visualize people all that well? if i can't hold on to a really good visual of a person, they kinda revert to people i know. but writing women, if i can't keep a visual, it reverts to me in my head, which is extremely uncomfy because i do not want to be a character in this. so i need the practice and i need to give her more love.

but if i want to go wild... i dunno if id restructure the fic, or just write a little extras, but i have very much thought about writing that scene between renee and eddie in the kitchen, before mox comes downstairs. i have a lot of thoughts about how it went, and how they decided to just... go with mox and not acknowledge that anything was wrong and have that night together. or renees pov as she was setting up their pillow fort. or, to break my own heart, that final conversation at the end of the first chapter, but from eddie's pov

in short, i have thought about it a lot, actually

#asks! #ask game thimgs

[wizisbored]

I feel like there would be a bunch of conspiracy channels and videos about bugebrophs yt channel. Like “is she actually this girl who went missing”, “how the practical effects in her videos work”, “the TRUTH behind her”. All kind of shit like that. And honestly, I want to see that so bad

love this so much actually. hell yea. i started talking about her having a youtube channel as a joke but i am getting increasingly tempted to write it into the fic later down the line.

ok for Reasons i will not disclose, nobody is going to link her back to the correct dissapearance. however, given the evidence that she's said she dissapeared 15 years ago and apparently it was well known enough for her to find several people at a true crime con who had covered it there's been theories. probably the only dead serious video shes ever made would be in response to this, basically saying 'you're not going to figure it out, stop trying to pry into my private life, and stop trying to link missing children and their grieving families to my stupid channel its horrendusly disrespectful.' people who continue after that would have their channels mysteriously vanish from the internet.

other than that though, i think she would just respond to them in the most stupid ways possible. like damn the Haters and Trolls are saying my sweet witchcraft skills are made in post because theyre jealous of my mad skill. watches the ones saying its practical effects and just goes 'damn thats smart. i would not have thought to do that. if id have known i would not have bothered with the demonic ritual'. sometimes it's like shes written a book and someone has come and found the Deeper Meaning and shes just there like what mask i am wearing in each video is not part of the arg i just throw one on based on vibes alone. theorists on the edge of their seat waiting to see what her next upload will be and its just an hour of uninterrupted footage of percy laying under his heat lamp.

#the TRUTH behind InsectSoup is that she is literally just hanging out #bugebroph

[kurokoros]

Infantilizing, that's the word I was searching for when thinking of s3 Steve. You're so correct because it's literally true. The sailor costume only makes it so much worse as well. (I mean if you think about it little boys get dressed in such costumes for family photoshoots.) Steve literally hates it so much but the fandom makes it out as if it's his awakening to dress feminine from this point forward. I side eye everyone who says s3 Steve is peak Steve.

I literally get so mad thinking about what they did to his character and especially how the fandom just makes it so much worse. I refuse to read any Steddie fics because Steve is not recognizable in those, he's even more ooc than in the show.

Not to be a bitch but yesterday when the Barbie posters dropped and the fandom ofc made edits with Steve only being referred as the babygirl I wanted to barf. Actual Steve (even s3 one) would hate it so much that people reduce him to only this, as if he doesn't have anything else. Literally every other character got a cool tagline in those posters.

Also what I hate in the fandom is how much trauma porn they project onto Steve for some angst fueled fics. They infantilize him even more by giving him disabilities and have other characters come save him because too dumb do anything. I mean you can give him some repercussions from his injuries but at least do a little bit of research and not use it for some angst so some other character (Eddie) can swoop in and save him from himself. It's extremely disrespectful towards people with actual disabilities. Like I have to wear glasses and it's so popular to give Steve glasses as well but 80% of those fics are him being so insecure about it that he needs others to constantly reassure him and force him to wear it. Like thanks so much. Or characters painting his hearing aids because they are too ugly for him (literally I saw this exact take and that person in the tags said "idk anything about hearing aids I just thought it was cute", like just say you only care about the angst aspect). I have nothing against people who have disabilities projecting those onto Steve because they usually know what they are talking about and handle it with care, but most of the fandom just uses those disabilities to make Steve even more submissive and pathetic for his partners.

People who enjoy S3!Steve most are wrong. S2!Steve is best Steve, but I'll give S4!Steve a pass purely because I find him deeply attractive (especially during the unhinged moment with the bat). S3!Steve had to wear an awful outfit and the show played him being tortured in a more humorous light than what was appropriate. 0/10

I don't read st/ddie fics because I think the ship sucks. like. I fail to see anything appealing about it other than the fandom wanting two decently attractive (subjectively speaking because I do not find Eddie attractive, sorry stans) white boys to fuck.

I won't comment on the Barbie memes except to say that literally every one I've seen has annoyed me deeply.

As for the trauma porn I will be honest and say that sometimes I do enjoy a good trauma porn fic where everyone is just incredibly miserable, but those are mostly reserved for those days where I just need/want to cry for several uninterrupted hours, but even then I still have standards. My issue with Steve angst/wump fics is that often they feel less about Steve dealing with his trauma than they do about other characters needing to explain to Steve that he has trauma, and the only character I find this to be acceptable from is Hopper in a pseudo father/son familial bond moment. There's something raw about Hopper and Steve interacting and talking about trauma, whereas with other characters it feels more for show. Regardless, there are a lot of people who write Steve trauma fics in a way that just isn't done well.

#alisha babbles #anonymous #strangerthoughts