#but “i actively want to grow because you have helped me see my own ability to do so”

[mmhawkes]

Another one of those books that I can’t wait to recommend to people when it comes out. Mostly because I want someone to talk about it with!

Navigational Entanglements by Aliette de Bodard is a sci-fi novella with just about everything — it’s a propulsive thriller, a political drama, a sapphic romance… there’s found family, personal growth, and so much compassion, while also having some horror and mystery elements. The world building is wuxia-inflected space opera with a complex social structure. This might sound like everything but the kitchen sink, and yet it never feels crowded or belabored. I zoomed right through it, and already want to read it again. The characters are great (and I hope we’ll get to visit them again), the story was face-paced (but never skimped on character study), and the ending was satisfying.

It comes out this summer. Definitely worth keeping an eye out for.

#i really love the trope of characters who inspire each other to do better #not “i can fix them” #but “i actively want to grow because you have helped me see my own ability to do so” #and this has that #plus a really great story #and another of my favourite tropes #but I don’t want to give it away #suffice to say it has to do with characters and their mentors #this is a good one #navigational entanglements #aliette de bodard

[kunaigirl]

Happy Disability Pride and awareness month! Let's talk about Epilepsy!

Hi there! I got tired of seeing my condition (that impacts my literal every day life) being left out or forgotten about during discussions about disabilities, so I made my own post about it! Let's go!

First Off! What the heck is epilepsy? Epilepsy is the fourth most common neurological disorder in the world, and it's a chronic medical condition. Epilepsy is a brain disorder that causes recurring, frequent, triggered, and unprovoked seizures to occur.

The official Epilepsy Foundation describes seizures as follows: "Seizures are sudden surges of abnormal and excessive electrical activity in your brain, and can affect how you appear or act. Where and how the seizure presents itself can have profound effects...Seizures involve sudden, temporary, bursts of electrical activity in the brain that change or disrupt the way messages are sent between brain cells. These electrical bursts can cause involuntary changes in body movement or function, sensation, behavior or awareness." (Source link)

Sounds like a lot of fun right? This is our life. Even with medication, we can be VERY limited to what can be safe for us. Seizure medications are NOT a cure, they only exist (at least as of now) as a tool to help have your seizures less often, or be triggered less intensely. Even on medication, seizures can still happen.

If you have epilepsy as a child like I did, it impacts your entire growing and developing experience. I spent MANY times as a child in and out of hospitals, neurologist and specialist offices, an getting so many EEG tests done. The pain of scrubbing the glue out of your hair for DAYS is horrible.

At a young age my seizures were so frequent and serious, it impacted my brain's ability to retain information. I had to re-learn the names of things at age 8 and 9. I had to re-learn HOW TO READ at age 10. I had to be home schooled because the public school system of my state at the time refused to work with me. I have VERY distinct and vivid memories of crying over my little baby ABC's book that I needed as a 4th and 5th grader. I knew I should've known this by this age. I knew that at one point I already did, and it was TAKEN FROM ME.

As an adult, I'M NOT ALLOWED TO DRIVE A CAR. And I can NEVER go to see a movie in theaters or go to see concerts or live music. There are entire TV shows I don't get to see. I can't go to clubs, arcades, dances, or raves. I miss out on A LOT of fun things. I always do, and I'm WELL AWARE of the fun I'm missing out on. The social, casual, and fun life experiences I'll never get to have. That WE'LL never get to have. And oh yeah! Seizures can KILL SOME OF US. Yep.

And the list goes on, and every person with epilepsy experiences it differently. There are multiple different types of seizures you can have, they're NOT always convulsing on the floor. For example, I have complex-partial-myoclonic-seizures. Meaning my muscles DO twitch when I have seizures, but I'm not always completely unconscious and sometimes I'm even able to stay sitting up. However, I'm still very "off" and can't focus or remember much for a good while after the fact. I can't talk or communicate during one, even with my slight bit of consciousness.

My experiences are not universal, I just wanted to talk about it and bring it up. It helps to talk about it even a little bit. Here's more about different kinds of seizures. Here's more about common seizure triggers. Here's more about CORRECT seizure first aid. And here's more general information/resources.

Please stop leaving us out of disability awareness. Please stop ignoring us or saying we're "not really disabled" or anything else like that. Please. Why does it always feel like the only people who care about epilepsy, are people WITH epilepsy? We're so tired of being ignored by others who don't have our condition.

If you're an epileptic person reading this, I see you. I love you. You're so strong, we all are. I believe in you, I believe in us. We're so much stronger than we get credit for, and it's going to be ok. Your anger and frustration are valid. Your emotions and struggles are real. You're valid, and I see you. Hang in there, we got this.

#epilepsy #epilepsy awareness #actually epileptic #disability pride month #disability awareness month #disability awareness #ok to reblog #disability pride

[bird-inacage]

Only Friends: Can Ray be Redeemed? Is Sand the Solution?

I know Ray has upset a lot of people in Episode 8. I do find it really fascinating how quickly the tide has turned on him, especially when you compare his actions to those of our villains of the first arc: Boston and Top. Perhaps I'm in the minority, but I still choose to believe that Ray does care. He's hugely misguided but not heartless.

Let me firstly preface that none of what I'm about to say excuses Ray's behaviour but is an attempt to unpack why I still hold hope.

A child lost with no anchor

Ray is emotionally immature (which as cliché as it sounds, is a direct product of his upbringing - or lack thereof). He largely operates on basic needs, as a child would: 'I want. I need'. It's all based on serving the self. He seems wildly incapable of thinking very far beyond that. Like a child, he can barely take care of himself, let alone anyone else. He's pretty helpless on his own in a lot of respects. Most people grow out of this. Through knocks and hardship, we learn the world doesn't revolve around us and how to equip ourselves with healthy and appropriate means to navigate through life. Ray however, still seems to be stuck in his infantile box.

I often joke that Ray is a bit feral, but there is some truth to that. Ray's been left to his own devices for the majority of his life. So it's no surprise he's developed this 'me against the world' attitude which is volatile and defensive, but ultimately keeps him caged in said box.

These traits are abundantly apparent in his relationship with Mew. Ray is the vehicle for Mew's self-destruction, but all he sees is the exhilaration of having a 'partner in crime', someone to be in 'cahoots with'. Like a pair of naughty school kids getting into mischief, rather than an adult partnership. Ray is all about immediate gratification over long term fulfilment because (as children do), they don't possess the wisdom and experience to think ahead. Ray seems unable to grasp repercussions or consequences in his decision making. It's always act first, think second.

To put it simply, Ray hasn't been taught boundaries and how to respect them. He just gets criticised for crossing them which doesn’t help him learn. No one has had the patience to teach him why and how. To guide, to steer, to direct, to mentor. To educate rather than scold. Prevention rather than cure. As a result, everyone around Ray serves to clean up his messes rather than equip him with the ability to not create them in the first place. He falls into patterns of behaviour that no one has seriously attempted to break which has only amplified with adulthood. The longer those habits prevail, the harder they are to change.

Does Ray harbour ill-will or bad intent?

Is Ray the worst? In my opinion, no. (Not yet anyway - I might eat my words later, who knows). I've said this somewhere before but intent makes all the difference when judging someone's actions. Choosing to actively cause harm whilst being fully conscious of the impact versus triggering damage to occur as a symptom of your behaviour is vastly different. This is where Ray and Boston differ. Boston acts without remorse, he purposely and calculatingly makes choices that will cause the maximum degree of suffering. Whereas Ray's a loose cannon. He leaves a trail of destruction where he goes, due to a lack of control and means to channel how he feels in a constructive manner. Boston's victims are targets, whereas Ray's victims are collateral.

I don't think Ray means to purposely hurt or harm the people he cares about. Because in doing so, he'll push them away - which is precisely what he doesn't want. (Though saying that, Ray doesn't seem to give as much of a damn if it's people he isn't invested in, such as Top). Ray's world consists of what Ray needs. It's not that he doesn't care about a single person besides himself, he's just so wrapped up in his own needs to even gauge the bigger picture.

When others do point out to Ray that he's hurt them, he does tend to look guilty and taken aback, as if he's thinking, 'But I didn't know. No one told me. I had no idea my actions would cause you to be upset'. Painful levels of ignorance. But I also see a huge amount of internalised frustration. 'But why? Why didn't anyone explain this to me? How was I to know?'

Ray is capable of showing remorse, of displaying guilt. He's not cold-blooded. Anyone who can demonstrate compassion is capable of redemption. Ray is seen to be genuinely appreciative and grateful when people are good to him. He's fiercely protective over people he cares about. Ray was also willing to jump in when Sand gets a call from his mum being in trouble.

One thing I do have to stress is the difference in Ray's demeanour when he's severely drunk/high versus when he's sober. His addiction tends to amplify his most primal desires, his most 'childlike' traits. The uglier sides of Ray presented in their worst light, set to maximum. The raging tantrums, the absurd and unpredictable demands, an explosive and dangerous impulsiveness. People often refer to addiction as a form of sickness, which is worth noting when the person under scrutiny is effectively not well.

Learning by Example

Now let's talk about the huge importance of Sand in this equation.

Let me be clear - it's not Sand's responsibility to teach Ray how to grow up or behave more like a functioning adult. It's neither his duty to be a stand-in parent or caretaker. The unfortunate truth is that Ray doesn't have anyone in his life who plays that role. Who is the voice of reason. To keep him on the straight and narrow. In order to actually incite change, Ray needs to be receptive to whoever is trying to help him. We've seen he doesn't respond particularly well to the majority of people in his life. He's defensive with his father, his friends, deflective and pandering with Mew. The only person he's seen to show any signs of actually listening to and registering is Sand.

Whilst it's not fair on Sand, he might be the only person who has any real chance of encouraging healthy and positive growth in Ray. Because Sand loves Ray, he genuinely wants to see improvement for Ray's own good. I don't think it's a coincidence that we tend to see Ray's more endearing side when he's with Sand. His childlike qualities take on a sweeter, more harmless, playful tone.

He needs someone with an almost parental level of unconditional love to not give up on him, where others have thrown in the towel. Ray's character is essentially a personified cry for help. His mother was unable to cope. His father seems chronically exasperated and far too busy to actually be present. His friends have always seen him as bothersome and too much of a handful.

I personally don't want to write Ray off as a lost cause. Ironically, Sand may be the saviour he didn't ask for, but the one he really needs. Someone who can save him from himself.

#only friends #only friends the series #ofts #only friends meta #ray pakorn #ray x sand #sand x ray #raysan #sanray #khaofirst #firstkhao #khaotung thanawat #first kanaphan #ray is such a complex character that i could go on and on #khao just does such a great job of adding so many layers to him

[xirayn]

Like Biting Bats (Very Metal)

Read Ch 1 of the full fic here

1 | 2 | 3 | 4

Featuring @aibhlynn as Eddie

Singing in the car with Eddie is quickly becoming one of Steve's favorite things. The freedom of it produces a euphoria that leaves him smiling even after dropping Eddie up. Steve wishes he could bottle that feeling; especially since he's likely to lose it once Eddie's van is fixed. They'll still be friends,of course, after all that they've been through it will take more than their differences and lack of forced proximity to end that, but Steve doesn't know if they'll still sing together.

He pulls up in front of the high school. The Hellfire Club has disbanded due to the satanic panic Hawkins is still shaking off, but that has left Eddie time to study with Nancy. She waves at Steve as they walk out together then says something to Eddie that makes him clasp his hands over his heart and stagger as if shot. She shakes her head at his theatrics before heading to where her mother is waiting to pick her up.

Eddie grins after her. Steve swears his smile gets brighter when he turns towards the BMW.

"Is she kicking you ass?" he asks once the passenger door swings open.

"Like you wouldn't believe," Eddie groans as he slumps into the seat. His school bag falls with a thud to the floor. "She threatened to take away my baby if I didn't pass the test on Friday." 

"Ah, man, not the guitar," Steve laughs.

Rolling his eyes, Eddie doesn't say that it isn't his guitar that Nancy is threatening to take away. She is turning out to be a huge help in Eddie's quest to actually graduate this year, but threatening to prevent him from seeing Steve is a line in the sand. Because Nancy knows. She is frighteningly smart, so naturally she has figured out that riding with Steve, belting out tunes and bantering about one another's taste in music, has climbed the ranks of activities that Eddie enjoys by noting how he eagerly waits for the familiar sound of Steve's BMW and that the repairs to his van were taking a suspiciously long time.

Eddie eyes the radio as he buckles himself in.

"We talked about this, Pretty Boy. Why are you listening to Foreigner?" 

He ejects the offending tape to replace with one pulled from his bag and Steve pretends to look offended. The opening of Metallica's latest album flows through the vehicle.

"Because 'Growing up the Hard Way' speaks to me on a personal level," Steve defends.

"Shame on you," Eddie teases.

An idea form's a smirk that crinkles the corner of Steve's hazel eyes. As 'Battery' crashes down on them, he marks the beat and does a few edits on the fly to lyrics he has heard a hundred times before doing his best to sing over Hatfield's vocals.

"He's got nothing to say, 

He's got no excuses,

He was just 

made-that-way

Like a dog on the loose,

In a world of his own,

He won't back down or

Run-a-way'

It is far from a perfect fit, but Steve makes it work to the best of his abilities and a grin sweeps across Eddie's face. He lives for moments like this where he gets to see the tension Steve carries melt away like ice on a warm day. He likes knowing he played a part in relaxing his best friend. And Steve is his best friend as much as that realization had been a surprise. He cared deeply for the band and his players, but Steve fucking Harrington has gotten closer than any of them.

Once Steve is finished, tripping over lyrics turning into a laugh as the music continues, Eddie chuckles along with him. 

"Man, you should come sing with the band."

The suggestion earns a scoff that still holds onto the joy of laughter. Steve's fraction of 'Master of Puppets' done with Corroded Coffin had been fun, but he doubts anyone aside from Eddie actually wants him to join. He is the former King Steve, top asshole jock of Hawkins High. He can't imagine the rest of the band having anything other than contempt for him.

"Sure." Steve shakes his head. "I bet the rest of your band will be all for it."

"Stevie, they are practically harassing me to convince you to join the band." 

Every time Eddie has seen his band mates since they heard Steve, the first question is if he's convinced him to join. Eddie is proud of them for seeing past Steve's high school labels and acknowledging how he has changed. That voice of his is a good added incentive.

He reaches over to flick one of the locks of hair that arcs over Steve's forehead. He's careful not to be too distracting. He has witnessed Steve go off on the Party about the dangers of distracting the driver several times.

"Our next practice is Saturday." Eddie’s voice lowers as if he's sharing a secret or possibly asking a favor. "I want you to be there."

The opening riffs of 'The Thing That Should Not Be' play as Steve fights with himself. His teeth worry his lip. The lecture from his father on 'meaningless hobbies' that led to Steve giving up guitar in middle school plays through his head. Honestly, though, his dad can fuck off. Eddie wants Steve there; said the words with a gentle hope Steve isn't used to. And he wants to be there. Singing those few bars of 'Master of Puppets' was the most alive he had felt in months, maybe years.

"Alright." His voice is lost under the heavy guitar and drum that rolls through them. He clears his throat. "I mean, sure. If the rest of the band is cool with it."

A smile lights up Eddie's face, dimples and teeth on full display.

"Cool," he teases. With Steve as their front man, Eddis is certain the band will succeed. Their music might change, but he finds the prospect of creating a new sound exciting. Something like Foreigner lyrics set to Metallica's instrumentals except entirely their own. "Two on Saturday. If you don't have anything planned, you can stay over Friday night and we can drive over together. I have a new record I have been waiting to listen to." 

Waiting for Steve to come over to listen with him.

"You mean I can drive you," Steve corrects.

"Of course, Big Boy," Eddie responds with mock exasperation. He can't stop smiling.

#steddie #stranger things #steve harrington #eddie munson #stranger things au #let steve be in the band #steddie ficlet #corroded coffin #steddie au

[yanderes-galore]

hey, can i request a concept for romantic yandere pharma from the idw transformers comics with a gender neutral human reader?

I can try! Pardon me if my depiction of Pharma is wrong :( I'll take tips on how to write him!

Yandere! Pharma with a Human! Darling

Pairing: Romantic

Possible Trigger Warnings: Gender-Neutral Darling, Cybertronian/Human, Obsession, Manipulation, Protective behavior, Possessive behavior, Isolation, Dubious/Forced relationship, Blood/Energon, Violence, Sadism, Murder, Stalking mentioned.

Pharma is an Autobot who was manipulated by the D.J.D but I would not say he goes by all of their morals.

Sorry if I'm wrong but I don't think Pharma is all that against organics.

He isn't one to actively try to kill them off, so he's in the middle when it comes to humans.

He probably hasn't met many due to organics not usually being a Delphi.

The planet it resides on is a mining facility so organics don't typically stick around.

For this concept I'll say you are an exception, you're an organic that Pharma met around Delphi.

That or you can choose some other means, I'm not really focusing on how you met.

I'm more going to focus on how Pharma would act with a human.

I feel Pharma would be overall okay with a human if he met them around his time at Delphi.

Any time before the whole rust incident and Pharma making deals with Tarn he's decent to be around.

He's a control freak though and you being an organic probably still sparks that trait.

Probably even more, actually.

At first he thinks keeping a human around may be messy.

His jobs works with the Cybertronian medical field so he'd typically keep a human out of the way.

Others know you are technically Pharma's human companion.

Yet they never bother complaining or talking about it.

It's his business.

Pharma could take care of a human, ordering supplies is a bit difficult but he manages.

Plus, since you're around Autobots so often, you begin to learn their anatomy.

It's actually nice to help Pharma with his job.

Your relationship is a bit complicated.

You see him as a great doctor, a trusted individual who cares for you. A guardian. A protector.

Pharma originally sees you just as a companion, a small lab assistant that helps him and provides company when no one else will.

Then he soon begins to see you in the more romantic sense.

Pharma no doubt tries to figure out how you two can be compatible.

He isn't a sadistic doctor by thus point and genuinely wants to have a life with you.

You're rather isolated from other humans out here.

Maybe you took this job because of that, maybe you just wanted the chance to interact with a species not your own.

Either way, Pharma thinks you could use some companionship.

A more intimate kind of companionship.

Pharma doesn't have a holoform, not many Cybertronians do, but he considers one when it comes to speaking with you.

He could order the ability to do that if it meant being closer to you....

A pairing with a human is still somewhat of a foreign concept, yet he still finds himself thinking about it while you watch him work.

The moment someone says something negative about you, his glare could kill.

Pharma is protective about you.

He never lets you outside due to the cold, he keeps you beside him all the time, everyone knows he claims you.

It's when he makes deals with Tarn to give T-Cogs that he hides you.

The D.J.D hates organics.

Pharma is aware of this and keeps you deep in Delphi when he deals with them.

You most likely slowly watch as Pharma grows more sadistic and insane.

He appears too giddy to be covered in Energon, tearing T-Cogs out of patients when they die to give to Tarn.

Despite this he gets so soft with you.

He tries to tell you he's doing this deal to care for you, he wants to keep you safe like he always has.

He would say it's because he loves you but he isn't sure if you'd be ready for that.

He's still controlling with you, telling you what to do and how to act at times.

Although he keeps saying it's for your own good.

It hurts you to see Pharma grow more insane, going to the point of murdering patients just to use them for parts.

Pharma may even use the deal as an excuse to kill anyone who disrespects the bond between you.

He doesn't have to help the patients who call you degrading names as they walk in his doors.

They aren't useful alive anyways.

He uses his job as an excuse to get rid of rival.

No need to worry, dear... they were beyond saving.

Even when sadistic and insane, corrupted by the D.J.D, he is still addicted to you.

Just like a drug he can't seem to get enough of you.

There will come a time during his degrading mental state that he confesses.

He'll call you over in private, sitting at a desk.

Then he'll pick you up into his hands and pour his spark out.

He'll admit to having feelings for you for what feels like forever.

He watches you live around the station.

He loves to watch you... he can't get enough of you.

You stare at him with wide eyes as he raises you to his face, large blue optics looking at you with adoration.

He apologizes for making bad decisions but promises you it was to keep a future for the both of you.

He just loves you so much...

He never wants to let you go...

Pharma may even try to kiss you by this point, something small though as he doesn't want to crush you.

He doesn't understand why you resist?

To you it's obvious.

You see him as a murderer, a traitor, and a mad doctor.

Meanwhile Pharma feels not much has changed.

He still takes care of you.

You should love him.

Even if you don't, or you no longer do, Pharma will keep you right where he wants you.

You can't go anywhere without him anyways.

You'll freeze to death, or the D.J.D will get you.

It's just you and him....

Pharma knows you have nowhere to go.

He just strokes your cheek and tells you you'll be okay.

He'll love you just like a human partner, if not better.

You think anything between you is impossible, Pharma doesn't care.

He just cares that he has you, Tarn never even has to know.

The only time Pharma loses you is when Ratchet comes in to ruin everything in his eyes.

When Ratchet or any of his crew tries to come near you, Pharma scoops you up.

He hates the idea of another Cybertronian seeing or talking to you.

Ratchet may be a "good friend" of his, but that doesn't mean he's allowing him to speak with you.

It's after Ratchet fights with Pharma in the rust incident that Pharma lets you go.

Not willingly either.

It hurts the mad doctor to see you in the hands of Ratchet, the falling apart medic bot that tossed him over a cliff.

Yet... Pharma has a feeling he'll see you again some day.

That day will be the day he gets his revenge against Ratchet... and it will be the day he takes you back as his human.

#yandere transformers #yandere transformers mtmte #yandere idw transformers #yandere mtmte pharma #yandere pharma

[differenteagletragedy]

PLEEEEEEEAAAAASEEEE more poly OLBA boys ur work is so good i want to inject it into my bloodstream

Thank you so much!!! Here are some more :)

-- Sometimes Baxter stays up too late and ends up falling asleep in his chair. When this happens, Cove or Derek pick up up like a little princess and carry him to bed. Once Baxter realizes this, he wants to be carried all the time.

Baxter: It's just I'm feeling so exhausted, I fear it won't be safe for me to walk to bed. If only there was some way I could be transported without having to worry about stumbling and injuring myself ...

Cove: *whispering to Derek* We've created a monster.

-- Baxter still likes his punk music! It's not Cove or Derek's thing, but it's fun music anyway. Mosh pit in the kitchen (join at your own risk)!

-- Every time there's fireworks, you have to go, it's a whole thing. I can't remember if there were fireworks at the boardwalk, but you have special memories of fireworks with Cove and Baxter so

-- Baxter likes to drive, and Derek likes to be the gentleman, so whenever you all go somewhere it's a friendly little battle over who will win.

Baxter: Shall we play Rock Paper Scissors to settle the dispute?

Derek: *rolling his eyes* Fine.

*they play, Derek uses paper to beat Baxter's rock, but for the first time he threw down scissors instead.*

Derek: I ... you ...

Baxter: *smirking* I am growing as a person, please give me the keys.

-- Derek is going to want a pool. In a household with four people working full-time, this isn't like out of the realm of possibility, expense wise. So you get a pool, how fun!

-- This is where the skinny dipping happens. Baxter teases Cove about it until he has enough and just goes for it. He will not be bested when it comes to water based activities.

-- Father's Day get-togethers at the Suarez household just got a whole lot wilder.

-- Mr. Suarez is going to say some embarrassing stuff about all of this. It might get the point where Nicolas has to make a Powerpoint presentation on what is and is not appropriate to say.

-- There aren't enough controllers to race, but he's going to need to see each of your abilities, so it's a good thing you practice at home.

-- Derek has a surprise one summer evening! Just trust him. He gets everybody in his car and goes for a drive. It's that he heard all about the ice cream truck and found a route for you. He wants you, Cove and Baxter to have a special nostalgic moment together. It is very sweet.

-- Extra ice cream for Derek, he is an angel.

-- Derek hangs the Christmas lights, and Cove helps because he's really good at climbing houses. Baxter might try to veto stuff because it's too tacky, but you don't have to listen to him.

Cove: *comes home one day with a giant inflatable Beach Santa with swim trunks and sunglasses*

Derek: All right, let's set it up.

Baxter: *suffers*

-- Cove goes off with Baxter one evening, you and Derek are like "ok, weirdos, bye then." Cove took Baxter to your moms' house so Ma can teach him how to cook Hawaiian food for you.

-- The whole gang is heading up to Golden Grove to plan OLNF MC's wedding with Baxter! It's just that it's going to be very emotional for him and everyone wants to be there for him. The people in town that remember him are going to be kind of nasty to him, at least with dirty looks, but Baxter doesn't really care because he's actually happy and that is powerful.

#our life beginnings and always #our life #cove holden #derek suarez #baxter ward

[justatalkingface]

I have to say, I've always been a fan of the idea of Kirishima being Izuku's best friend, rather than Bakugo's. I just think the two work off each other as the "extrovert trying to get his introverted friend to come out of his shell more" better than his and Bakugo's "I can fix him" one.

Plus, both have experience dealing with bullies and trying to defend the helpless from said bullies. Hell, Kirishima would commend Izuku for sticking it out all the way through, whereas he needed Mina's help with his. I really think Kirishima would be a great motivator for Izuku to get stronger and to voice his opinions more. If Izuku was having an especially bad day, I see Kirishima being the type to say,

"Hey man, don't put yourself down like that. You're one of the strongest, manliest guys I know. Even up there with All Might and Crimson Riot. Come on, lets head to the gym to get your mind off things. I'll spot ya."

Kirishima would provide so much positivity and motivation to improve, that I feel Izuku would only come out better with him as his main homie. Not to mention it would give Kirishima even more screentime, which I would love.

Though admittedly, my love of Kirishima is also why I hate that Hori paired him with Bakugo. My man deserves a better homie than that asshat.

...You know, when you look at Kirishima as, like, a character that someone put in a story, rather than as a person, there's something weird about him. You know what it is? Kirishima is basiclly Izuku. He's Izuku if he had a 'mediocre' Quirk; a bit of a coward at the start of his story, with self doubt, but he still genuinely wants to help people, and forces himself to grow and push farther when he decides to apply to UA. And when you strip to the bare bone themes like that, it's Izuku's story, without Bakugou and the Quirklessness there making his life miserable.

And, with that in mind, and that one comment Hori (apparently) made, that Izuku was supposed to be sad that Bakugou took Kirishima's hand... it feels like Kirishima was made, or at least given development, for Bakugou. Like, Kirishima and Bakugou is the friend dynamic of Bakugou with Izuku that so many people want them to have, what fanfic stories are written for, what people in story apparently (god knows why) seem to think they have, and when you look it that way it's... interesting. It's a very interesting choice to me.

Like, Hori apparently (I can't cite any of this Hori shit) regrets how far Bakugou went in the first chapter; it makes me wonder if, like, Kirishima is his wish fulfillment in that sense? Like, he's imagining a version of the manga where Bakugou came in with a lot less baggage, and that dynamic is him doing that sort of friendship without actually changing the story?

On the other hand, though, I'd have to be blind to that dynamic seems to exist to soften up Bakugou's image, to show that he's not all that bad, without really making him improve actively.

Regardless, no matter how you look at it, in a meta, 'why does this character exist' kind of way, Kirishima literally seems to be in the manga only for Bakugou's sake. I mean, his friendship (or 'friendship' maybe) with Bakugou, isn't helping him beyond giving him more screen time. And your right, it's a shame, because he and Izuku would get along really well.

Part of it, of course, is that they exist in a similar kind of positive wavelength, both being really wholesome people. Kirishima is really outgoing, and it seems natural that he would try to reach out to Izuku, who canonly is almost pathetically grateful for even the tiniest smidge of even vaguely positive interactions, especially at the start, much less someone just flat out being nice to him. Meanwhile, Izuku is naturally supportive, and would be great for Kirishima in turn, supporting him on his low confidence moments and encouraging him to be more confident about his Quirk and his own abilities.

Overall, it's a firm foundation for a good, wholesome friendship, one that would easily continue to continue on even when both of them eventually grow past their own doubts, and something that'd be nice to see, but by the time Kirishima got any characterization, he was already set up for Bakugou, and of course we could dilute that dynamic with him doing something else.

#mha critical #bnha critical #ask #bakugou critical #izuku deserves better #kirishima deserves better #the fact kirishima seems to exist only for bakugou's benefit is a waste

[astroprompts]

✧ —𝐁𝐎𝐉𝐀𝐂𝐊 𝐇𝐎𝐑𝐒𝐄𝐌𝐀𝐍 𝐃𝐈𝐀𝐋𝐎𝐆𝐔𝐄 𝐏𝐑𝐎𝐌𝐏𝐓𝐒 [𝐒𝐄𝐀𝐒𝐎𝐍 𝟏]

“Why so gloomy, roomie?”

“I've had tapeworms that were less parasitic.”

“If you're looking for the toaster strudels, I got really high last night and ate them all.”

“I don't know how you can expect anyone else to love you when you so clearly hate yourself.”

“I pride myself on my ability to separate my professional life from my personal life.”

“I really gotta start putting my phone on airplane mode when I drink.”

“Sorry I haven't really been mingling. I get kind of awkward at parties.”

“I'm responsible for my own happiness? I can't even be responsible for my own breakfast!”

“Don't put things in my butt if you want them back.”

“Well, that was another in a long series of regrettable life choices.”

“Well, that went slightly better than the worst it could have possibly gone, so... Hooray?”

“Just like always, you're right, and everyone else is wrong. But if you don't swallow your pride, this is never gonna let up.”

“I'm not stubborn. I'm proud.”

“Is this a necessary conversation to be having right now?”

“You know what the problem is with everybody? They all just want to hear what they already believe. No one ever wants to hear the truth.”

“I want to hear the truth. I don't know if you want to tell it, though.”

“Your family will never understand you. Your lovers will leave you or try to change you. But your fans, you be good to them, and they'll be good to you.”

“No matter what happens, no matter how much it hurts, you don't stop dancing, and you don't stop smiling, and you give those people what they want.”

“People don't usually want to hang out with me after rehab. I'm really more of a before-rehab friend.”

“Morning, sleepy-pooh, you want pancakes?”

“The guest room is yours as long as you want.”

“Ahab's got a white whale to catch, baby!”

“You're not this girl's father, and you're not doing her any favors by refusing to set boundaries.”

“I get letters every day from boys telling me that I was the first girl they masturbated to.”

“You're not my dad. You're just a rugged, older man who provided me with a strong, masculine presence during my formative years.”

“I'm at a place right now where I never need to grow as a person or rise to an occasion, because I can constantly just surround myself with sycophants and enablers until I die tragically young.”

“I'm pumping out heartfelt anecdotes and witty observations left and right.”

“I really want to be here for you in your time of need, but I'm not really good with funerals or death or families or feelings or people.”

“My family made my life miserable, and then they never forgave me for leaving.”

“Well, he was a mean, sadistic alcoholic, who never supported anything I did and actively delighted in seeing me fail.”

“I'm just saying, if you can't find a way to let off some steam you're going to explode.”

“I should've known it was a waste of time to come back here.”

“Look, take it from someone with his own shitty parents; family is a sinkhole, and you were right to get out when you had the chance.”

“The stupid thing is, even now I still just want them to be proud of me and think I did good.”

“Closure is a made up thing by Steven Spielberg to sell movie tickets.”

“This is the sweetest choking hazard anyone's ever given me.”

“This has been fun, and also an offensive display of extravagant wealth, but maybe we should call it a night.”

“Give me a bottle of something to help me forget my problems.”

“I like being around you, and I don't know if I ever told you that in so many words, so I'm telling you.”

“You are a goddamn American treasure, you know that?”

“Am I just hungover, or are you talking like a Muppet?”

“You're the one who's always been there for me, so I drank a lot more bourbon and drove over to tell you how I feel.”

“Every time something bad happens, you come running to me for comfort.”

“We're just two lonely people trying to hate ourselves a little less.”

“You know the worst part? I knew this was gonna happen and I let myself get excited anyway.”

“Uh-oh. People only say they're fine when they're not fine.”

“I spy with my little eye someone who needs to shut the hell up.”

“Here. I got you a beer. It's on the house.”

“Did you think that I spent the last 20 years on my couch just feeling sorry for myself?”

“I think I need to head off to bed, and I hope I actually wake up later.”

“You have to live with the shitty thing you did for the rest of your life. You have to know that it's never, ever going to be okay.”

“You know what your problem is? You want to think of yourself as the good guy. Well, I know you better than anyone, and I can tell you that you're not.”

“You'd probably sleep a lot better at night if you just admitted to yourself that you're a selfish goddamn coward who takes whatever he wants and doesn't give a shit about who he hurts.”

“So... Should we talk about how you just tried to kiss me?”

“I'm not going to waste another thought on you.”

“Bad news-- I lost my driver's license.”

“Can you... Drive me everywhere I need to go for the next three months?”

“You know, with my knack for coming up with plans and your ability to hear them without contributing more than three words at a time, we make a pretty good team, don't we?”

“I was just trying to be a good friend in my own shitty, ass-backwards way.”

“You know, sometimes I feel like I was born with a leak, and any goodness I started with just slowly spilled out of me, and now it's all gone.”

“Why is it that 90% of our conversations these days revolve around plotting sabotages?”

“Look, all publicity is good publicity.”

“I need to go take a shower so I can't tell if I'm crying or not.”

“Maybe I just need to stop expecting you to be a good person, so that way, I won't get hurt when you're not.”

“You abandoned me, and I will never forgive you for that.”

“Unbelievable. When your powers combine... You are somehow even more stupid than the sum of your stupids.”

“They see a greatness in me, and they mistake it for goodness, but I... I know there's nothing there.”

“Look, if you really want to help people, it doesn't hurt to have a little money in your pocket.”

“I kind of think all you are is just the things that you do.”

#rp meme #ask meme #dialogue prompt #sentence starters #bojack horseman

[windvexer]

@rose-colored-tarot

to finally get around to your Q regarding attempting to develop psychism versus it developing naturally!

I went through a period where I did try to intensely activate/awaken/tap into psychism. I'm talking 2-3+ hours of practice a day for a period of several weeks.

Ultimately I had to stop because I started developing very worrying psychological symptoms (exploding head syndrome, visual and auditory hallucinations).

But to be completely honest, I have no idea whether or not those techniques actively did anything except make my brain fucky for a while! So in reference to all the "forcing open" of psychic senses everyone was doing a few years ago, yeah, don't recommend it.

My practice now is very pragmatic. I intend to do things with real, tangible results. Staring into a black mirror trying to visualize apples rotating in separate directions is a thing you can do, sure. But what good is it to be able to see a spinning apple in your mind's eye?

The truth is I have no metric I measured as far as my own verifiable results before and after this period. I was also doing a lot of other things that likely contributed to my development as well.

I do believe that psychism is essentially a muscle. Not everyone automatically develops it even when they practice, because not all practices rely on psychism and so those muscles may not develop.

Right now I think the best way to develop psychism (or any supernatural ability) is for a person to consider what end results they want to end up with. For example, some people want to be able to talk to spirits. Other people want to be able to see the energy they're working with, etc. And once that end goal is in mind, I think it benefits a person to just try to do it.

Like, if you, Reader, want to see spirits, just try. If you have no idea how to try, find a 101 exercise and try it. If you don't know if there are spirits around for you to see, learn to find them or call them. Try lots of techniques, give them an honest go, and then break down what works or doesn't work and try something else. Give yourself time to learn techniques but also time for your own muscles to grow and adapt.

Only in that sense do I think psychism happens as you practice. I think if people never try to develop those senses then they rarely will spontaneously develop, even in tandem with other magical skills.

All of the above being said, I do think random techniques probably helped me learn to navigate my own brainspace and gave me handy tools to use later on. But I don't know how useful any of them were in and of themselves.

#answered #psychism #spirit work

[femmefatalevibe]

Hi! I have trouble making friends with girls but okay with guys. I wanna have a group of girl friends but idk what I'm doing wrong. It seems like I'm in a different world from them even though we're the same. But I don't want that.

Hi love! I agree with you that, as a woman, having female friends and close relationships with other women are essential for a healthy support system. Glad that you're seeking to self-reflect and grow in this area. There's always the possibility that you're more accustomed to being in male-dominated spaces (brothers, uncles, male cousins, etc.) or have more stereotypical "guy" interests. However, it is also worth considering the following because it can take some time and active self-awareness to notice when these personal limitations are impeding your ability to cultivate healthy, long-lasting female friendships. Ask yourself the following questions:

Do male friendships offer me support or easily-attainable attention? While I'm not saying opposite-sex friendships are not possible, if ALL of your friends are guys and you're a heterosexual girl/woman, chances are at least some of them are just sticking around in the hopes you'll hook up with or date them down the line. A good litmus test for this is to see how they talk about sex and relationships around you (or hookups generally – I don't know your age). If they talk about how they're seeking out a new partner or ask you questions about your dating history/hookups/sex life in any capacity (more than once in a relevant context, at least), chances are they're trying to get in your pants. Like many other women, I've unfortunately learned this the hard way.

Do I have any underlying internalized misogyny that I have not yet come to terms with? Subtle forms of internalized misogyny can come in many forms, such as slut-shaming other girls/women, believing that women have certain roles they must conform to in society (not speaking up, remaining submissive, ultimately getting married/having kids one day as an expectation, only choosing certain career fields, dressing a certain way, etc.). Our patriarchal society can have some sneaky ways of distorting our thinking and can result in us not knowing how to best advocate for ourselves/support other women until we actively deconstruct these (toxic) ideologies on our own. Sometimes, these beliefs can be as insidious as it is not "proper" to express my feelings or show excitement when discussing my passions out of a fear of being "too emotional" or "weak." Dig deep. Unpack whatever internalized misogynistic beliefs arise from this self-reflection session.

Once you've reflected on these questions, consider topics you might have in common with the other girls/women in your social orbit – whether it's school, hobbies, favorite coffee shops, shared activities, etc. Be open to different types of conversations and new connections.

Hope this helps xx

#friend advice #making friends #interpersonal relationships #relationship advice #life advice #life lessons #femme fatale #dark femininity #dark feminine energy #self reflection #inner work #it girl #queen energy #dream girl #higher self #self confidence #boundaries #social skills #socializing #female power #female excellence #femmefatalevibe #intersectional feminism #feminism #feminist #patriarchy

[jagged--dust-jacket-analysis]

So in my English class, we had to create a speech to give on a controversial or polarizing topic of our choosing. And because I am a writer and interact with fandom culture on the daily, I naturally chose Art censorship. I wanted other people on here to see it, because I think it might be one of the greatest (and most important) things I've written.

So, here it is. Feel free to critique and comment on it however you like:

Art is defined as, “the expression or application of human creative skill and imagination.” This includes not only paintings, drawings, and sculptures. But also music, books, movies. It has always been a part of our lives, an unconscious expression of society and culture. Art is a part of the world. After all, Demetri Martin once said, “The Earth without Art is just ‘Eh.’” I don’t know about you, but I do not want to live on a planet called Eh. Unfortunately, censorship threatens to destroy the ability to freely create. There has been a rise in social awareness and social justice movements, with it talk of censorship. And most times, this stems from a good place. Wanting to protect people from the triggering ideas contained in art. And while I can understand this desire, I believe this is also dangerous. To censor art—especially “heavy” art—is to stifle an artist's creativity, is to dampen the social benefits art offers, is to squander the rights awarded to us as a free society. Censorship of art is simply wrong.

In school, we grow up being taught a wide variety of skills. Math, reading, history. All of these are important, don’t get me wrong. But I think the most important thing we’re taught is the ability to create. Creation is a very cathartic activity, with several benefits specifically for teens. The Polaris Teen Center’s article titled, “Five Therapeutic Benefits of Art Programs for Teenagers” they state that, “By stimulating the mind through artistic engagement, teens can create something that they can tangibly call their own. This helps regain the sense of self-determination necessary in order to overcome other problems in their life.” Creation, art, is taking all the emotions inside of you and putting them to positive use. Censorship, though, threatens to take away this powerful form of expression. By censoring what topics an artist can and cannot cover, we are taking away the ability to be express freely. They now have to color inside the lines. So instead of focusing on the art itself, the emotional reflection that comes with it? They’ll be focused on following guidelines. Focused on making sure their creations do not offend or fall outside of the set rule society has shoved down their throats. They will loose the therapeutic effect of art to an ideology that seeks to corrupt it. 

Art, and symbols, have long been used to promote progress. To move our society forward. It has been an especially big part in activism movements. We all remember the iconic raised fist used by the Black Lives Matter movement from twenty-twenty. There’s also Picasso's famous painting, the “Guernica.” SmartHistory, a site dedicated to art and its history had this to say about Picassos painting: “Picasso expressed his outrage against war with Guernica, his enormous mural-sized painting displayed to millions of visitors at the Paris World’s Fair.” It was his outlet for his frustrations, a way to show people the horrors that had occurred. A form of protest in it’s own right. As William Shakespeare once said, “brevity is the soul of wit.” You can get your message across with few words and in this case, none at all. While art is another way to protest, censorship is a way to shut down said protests. It has long been a tactic used to quiet the shouts and screams of the powerless to the powerful. By striking speeches from records, by deleting posts detailing injustices. By shutting down protests that where by all means actually peaceful. That is censorship, and that is how censorship fights progress, fights protest. Censorship of art is censorship of anger. And this hinders our progress. 

Now, let me pose a question. Who decides? Who decides what should or shouldn’t be allowed? Who decides what is offensive? You may think it’s simple, just follow the direction the currents of society flow. And I’m sure we all have things we want banned, symbols that are offensive, art that is hurtful. But once we cross that line, there’s no going back. Someday it could be your favorite singer. Headlines: Cardi B Music Banned for explicit language, Taylor Swift Removed for ‘romanticizing toxic relationships.’ Ridiculous, right? But that’s where censorship eventually leads. Once you cross that line, you can’t go back. All art in America is protected under the First Amendment. Under free speech. Author of the article, “Artistic Repression in America” writes, “If we are disturbed by images of violence or sex--or anything else--we can change the channel, turn off the TV, or decline to go to certain movies or museum exhibits. We can also exercise our own free speech rights by voicing our objections to forms of expression we don't like.” I have a right to create it, and you have a right to hate it. And higher authorities are not allowed to meddle. 

And so, Roger Scruton once said, “Art and music shine a light of meaning on ordinary life, and through them we are able to confront the things that trouble us and to find consolation and peace in their presence.” A lot of the time, art is going to make you uncomfortable. But it is that discomfort that will spark conversation. Art is going to even make you angry sometimes. Good. That is the job of an artist, to illicit strong emotional responses from their audience. You cannot hide everything that makes you uncomfortable. You cannot tear down every painting that depicts gore and violence, cancel every show or movie that touches on something you believe should be untouchable. You cannot torch every disagreeable book or smash every controversial statue. You cannot censor all art that makes you feel, because then what is left? In the words of Demetri Martin, “Just Eh.”

#art #censorship #anti censorship #media criticism #media stuff #art censorship #JDJ-Miscellaneous

[mintmoth]

Okay so I just finished chap 4 and as the resident scarabia appreciator I figured you would be the best person to word vomit my ideas to (You don't have to answer this if you don't want to)

But like the drama the betrayal, god it was so good

Like I can understand both sides of the story. I get why Jamil snapped as hard as he did, but god when Kalim started begging to Jamil to tell him that what Octotrio exposed wasn't true BROKE ME. It dosent help I kinda relate to Kalim in the sense I tend to worry if Im being "too much" for people so seeing Jamil call him obnoxious and crap, albeit not in the right headspace, really struck a chord with me. God I want them to be happy/friendly with each other again tho TWST please let them-

But honestly after that my brain has been fixated on a potential Kalim overblot. I don't know how it would happen (probably some trauma he keeps under his cheery facade like another guy we know *stares at Cater*), though I have an idea that during his overblot he pushes everyone away. Hes not angry at anyone or anything but hes scared and he dosent want to put anymore of what should be HIS responsibilities on anyone, ESPECIALLY if Jamil is present.

Like the potential angst has not left my brain help me-

OKAY BUT I ABSOLUTELY DO WANT TO ANSWER THIS (also because I am sick and cannot do much aside from be on my phone when I am actually awake l m a o)

So firstly yes holy crap I believe book 4 hits so hard because it is so deeply sad from both sides of things. It's very easy for people to look at both Jamil and Kalim and understand them and their actions, feeling pushed so hard and made to be responsible and care for others, as well as loving people deeply and the play into the insecurities of ultimately being resented by those you love most

All of the books have people pushed past their breaking points and trauma spilling to the surface but god book 4 is this horrible open wound of desperation and heartbreak

I also deeply want them to be able to move forward being healthier about their relationship and actually building a friendship because like, they do have fun together off and on after book 4, Jamil's anger is mostly misdirected from the position he's been forced into, and they're both able to actively talk better about things between the two of them- idk I know we'll never get to fully see how they grow and change but I really do stand by me saying that I believe both of them have the ability to bring about change within their families when they are finally able to hold their own positions

But on to the second part here, absolutely Kalim has so much traumatic shit he's dealing with. Like since he was a child he's had adults trying to full on actually murder him. Like he makes little jokes in passing about being kidnapped or poisoned and such, and how it's made him hard to take by surprise so it's played off as a joke, but SERIOUSLY?? That is so much emotional damage to just have to play off for laughs, but sometimes all you can do is laugh in order to not fully process it

Kalim has shown to be a people pleaser and to meet everyone as if they're a friend, and it's a wonderful trait on his part but due to his past it's also probably a defence mechanism in a way. I'm reading a little deep here but honestly, imagine you've been kidnapped more times then you can count, had more attempts on your life then you can recall, had to witness your childhood friend fall into a coma because they were poisoned in an attempt to murder you specifically- like Kalim is a walking target that nearly everyone he meets could be attempting to take a swing at. But he doesn't shy away or meet people with an overt caution, no. He meets everyone with this overwhelming friendliness. He makes himself not a threat to others, and he makes potential threats his friends. How better to be kept safe then to be surrounded by people who care about you? To remove the idea of threats by being someone people can see the good within, someone to eat, drink, and be merry with? What good would come from harming someone who treats you so well

And I'm not saying this would be an intentional act on his part, no. I'm not sure he's even aware of how people pleasing he is outside of the thought, "other people have more problems then me, so why would I bother them with mine". He's just grown up unable to trust nearly anyone and as such is navigating through life doing what he does best, having fun and living in the moment, making friends and surrounding himself with people he doesn't need to be afraid of

But that's also why Jamil's betrayal hits so much harder, as he's the one person in Kalim's life that Kalim has never had to fear or doubt for even a moment. Jamil has always been a safe haven, an olive branch amongst the knives. And Kalim finds out Jamil has been sitting within a growing well of resentment and anger this entire time

And it is absolutley heartbreaking

And yes, it's played for laughs with Kalim not understanding after that Jamil is still upset, or that they cannot just magically be on even footing, but a lot of aspects of Kalim are consistently played for laughs. It's hard for people to take you seriously when you cannot even take yourself seriously

So absolutely if he were to overblot it would be less of him lashing out at people around him and more of him lashing out at himself. All of those feelings he laughs off and pushes away in favor of smiling and joking with others, them all bubbling to the surface in a way he could not even begin to contain

Having Kalim overblot would be genuinely absolutley harrowing to witness

#ask #anonymous #twisted wonderland #twst wonderland #twst #kalim al asim #twst kalim

[doumadono]

Baby!ER here~ First, let me thank you for writing my request! It was very comforting, especially the self-worth not being related to infertility. Seeing that actually made me cry because I didn't realize just how much I was associating the two until now. I loved it! <3

Now, as for the other part of my previous message... I'm asking on anonymous because not everyone in our personal lives know about this yet and she wants to keep it that way for now.

My partner and I have been together for 16 years, and we have two beautiful daughters together. I want to have a third child; however, it's looking like that isn't an option anymore because my partner came out to me as MtF!Trans back in 2021 and has been on HRT for a year. Ever since she's started HRT, she has been happier and livelier; she smiles all the time and she enjoys life so much more; and I find it very endearing whenever she notices any progress and gets so excited - like a child in front of an ice cream buffet. This is something that I want for her more than a third child, especially since she has already given me two beautiful little girls and has loved me unconditionally. Having her and our two daughters is enough for me to be happy. This is something that she's wanted for over a decade, and I intend to be right by her side through it all because she's still the person I fell in love with 16 years ago; she's still the person I see in my wedding daydreams and she's still the person I intend to grow old with.

I am in full support of her transition; I remind her to take her pills; I'm helping her to build a wardrobe; to learn all the feminine upkeep and I help her practice her vocal training; and we're currently trying to find a doctor for the next step in her transition. I want her to be happy, and this is what she needs to reach that point, so I support it wholeheartedly. But it still saddens me a bit to see that door close on any of our potiential future biological children. Is that selfish of me...?

Hiya again! First and foremost, I want to express my sincere admiration for the depth of love and commitment that resonates throughout your message. Your journey over the past 16 years, marked by the joys of parenthood and the profound connection you share with your partner, is both heartwarming and inspiring.

Navigating the complexities of your partner's transition, especially considering the shift in future family plans, is undoubtedly a significant emotional journey. Your unwavering support for her, from actively participating in her transition to being her emotional anchor, is nothing short of remarkable though! The joy and fulfillment you find in witnessing her newfound happiness and vitality are beautifully articulated, emphasizing the depth of your love and understanding. Your willingness to share in her joy, to actively participate in every aspect of her transition, showcases an extraordinary level of empathy and commitment. However, it's crucial to recognize and honor your own emotions as well. The sadness you feel about the shift in family planning doesn't diminish your support for her transition; rather, it adds another layer to the multifaceted tapestry of your shared experiences.

In supporting her, you are also embracing the reality that love and family take diverse forms, and your ability to adapt and nurture this evolution is a testament to the strength of your relationship. It's a poignant reminder that love transcends biological ties, and your focus on her happiness is a profound testament to the selflessness that underlines your connection.

The bittersweet emotions you express, contemplating the closure of the door on the possibility of more biological children, are entirely valid. It's not selfish to acknowledge and mourn the alteration of a dream, especially one as significant as expanding your family. The complexity of emotions in these circumstances is a testament to the genuine and intricate nature of your connection.

In navigating this profound shift in your shared journey, it's essential to allow yourselves the time and space to acclimate to your new reality. Adjusting to the notion that the door to another biological child is closing can be a challenging process, but it's a transition that, with patience and understanding, you can navigate together. However, amidst this process, remember that adapting to a new reality is not only achievable but often brings unexpected joys and discoveries.

Pouring your boundless love and devotion into your two beautiful daughters is a profound and fulfilling endeavor. Recognize the immense fortune you hold in having them, for many couples face challenges in conceiving biological children.

In this transformative period, communication, mutual understanding, and a shared commitment to each other's happiness will serve as the bedrock of your journey. You have already demonstrated an extraordinary capacity for love, adaptability, and unwavering support. As you traverse this path together, keep in mind the limitless potential for love and joy that lies ahead, and remember that your unique family story is an unfolding narrative filled with resilience, compassion, and boundless love.

I hope you'll pardon the lengthy expression of my thoughts, but I felt compelled to share my personal sentiments with you. I genuinely wish you both all the best, and I harbor a strong hope that with the profound amount of love you both exude, your life together will unfold into something truly beautiful.

#asked and answered #author's rant #my personal opinion #all the best to you Nonnie ♥

[flowerycoffin]

Stella is bad written villain

I will be honest here - I don’t like the direction “Helluva Boss” series is going and I have a lot to cover, so I’ll start with the most controversial subject in this fandom right now… Stella character.

Trigger warning: I’m going to cover various forms of abuse, so if you are sensitive to those topic please consider if you want to read this.

Spoilers to: “Helluva Boss”(duh), “The Help”, “The Case Study of Vanitas”, “The Owl House”, “Prince of Egypt”, “Pręgi”, “Jujutsu Kaisen”

Sorry for any writting mistakes in advance :^)

Season two came out and fandom is on fire again and I will give a bit more fuel to this. I want to show that Stella fails as a villain, abuser and character all together. I will divide it into few parts so it’ll be easier to separate my points:

1. Stella as abuser in media.

2. How Stella was written in season one.

3. How Stella was written in first episode of season two.

4. What is even Stellas goal?

5. Closing thoughts.

STELLA AS ABUSER IN MEDIA

Let’s start from something simple - What even is an abuser?

Definitions by Cambridge Dictionary

As we can see we definitely can call her an abuser as a person - she is harming Stolas emotionaly and tries to hurt physicaly. No doubt about that. But she is a character of fiction and that means that her behaviour can be used as abuser who is a tool or abuser who is an antagonist. Her behaviour must have a purpose in the story. Let me show how by storytelling point of view those two roles work:

ABUSER AS A TOOL

When I think about this kind of abuser in fiction my first thought is Leroy - Minnies Jackson husband from movie “The Help”

This shot is the only time we can hear him. We don’t see a face, hand or even a shadow. Only panicking Minny and a thrown pot. And that is perfectly enough, because his purpose is not to be relevant to a story but to show one of many obstacles which our heroines have to face in everyday life. Leroy is a tool showing how at the very beggining maid despite having sassy personality is not strong enough to fight husband and system she’s trapped in but at the end of the film we are told that she got a divorce symbolising better changes and finding inner strenght in her.

Another example of abuser meant to be a tool is Veronica de Salvo from “The Case Study of Vanitas”

This time we can see abusers face and have more screen time with her than Leroy, yet girl is still a tool in the story showing a chierarchy in vampire world and destructive power future opponents can have. Not only that; she torments mentally her younger sister (side character) making her fall deeper into depression and guilt trip. Veronica is rotten to the core, having one of the most twisted moral spines I've ever witnessed and yet I doesn’t demand her further exploring. Show wouldn’t change much without her yet having Veronica as a tool to show how cruel vampire world is, is working perfectly.

So what is abuser when used as a tool?

- abuser is showing a world building,

- abuser is an obstacle,

- abuser is not related to a main plot,

- abuser non deliberate cause of characters actions.

And who is abuser used as a tool?

- abuser is one-dimentional,

- abuser doesn’t need a reason why,

- abuser is symbolism.

ABUSER AS AN ANTAGONIST

In order to show what I have on mind I’ll start with one person Stella is mostly compared to - Odalia Blight

Odalia is actively gaslighting her family and use their abilities for her own gain, but what is making her a villain and not a tool is being an active thread to our main protagonists. She is abusing not only side characters but also main cast and is a deliberate cause of heroes troubles. On top of that her behaviour and goal have an impact on the story. Yeah let's talk about a goal - Odalia is not evil for sake of being evil; she is evil because she wants her corporation to grow and her family name to be known by mass. It’s a good reason for villain - she’s not a bad person because she’s a bad person, she’s a bad person because her goal makes her blind on other factors.

Another good example of abuser being an antagonist is Ramzes from “Prince of Egypt”. No wait, hear me out-

Ramzes taking role of the pharaon in the same time is active counterpant in Jews slavery which is (who would’ve thought) a form of abuse and torments his adoptive brother mentaly while tormenting others physicaly even more than before, because sibling wanted to free those people and break a chain of hatred and misfortune. Ramzes’s goal is to make even greater country than his father did with hands of slaves and his reason of thinking it’s right thing to do it the way he does is living in a broken system which empathises slavery and lack of consequences from pharaon side.

So what is abuser as an antagonist?

- abuser is a thread to main protagonists,

- abuser have an active role in the story,

- abuser is a deliberate cause of characters actions.

And who is abuser as an antagonist?

- abuser have a reason why,

- abuser is character with personality outside being evil,

- abuser is enemy to a main cast.

What kind of abuser Stella is then? She sure does have an active role in the story hiring an assasin and is a cause of Stolas and Octavias mental states and actions; Stella is also Stolas enemy making a thread to his life. That should mean she is an antagonist right? But Stella doesn’t seem to have personality outside being awful wife trope and her reason for her attitude towards Stolas is unclear. Also as in season one a reason to kill her husband is slightly on point, while in season two it doesn’t make sense anymore and we’ll see why in a bit. If you decide to make abuser your antagonist you must take into consideration why they became the way they are, no shortcuts.

I remember when one movie was showed to my class at sex education lessons. It was awful, ‘cause it glorified romance with dangerous and easily thrown into physical abuse individual. Thanks to this essay I watched it again :’^) and it wasn’t that bad :^D until glorifying molestation romance plot came in :^[. The movie I’m talking about is called “Pręgi” (”Stripes”) and I’m mentioning this because “Pręgi” is telling hurtful story about domestic abuse and it’s outcome (also throwing at viewer sex-assaulting girl but it’s not about her thankfully).

 We have not one but two abusers as antagonists (both men, one being a main character so more like abuser as protagonist but ssshhh) and one abuser as a tool (a woman). This film can show how every of antagonists have layers, reasons, motivations and different emotions. Something which Stella have none of but sure resembles the only tool-abuser whom doesn’t have any other personality trait besides passive-aggressiveness and no reason for being awful human being beside drinking too much wine. Again - if you put abuser into role of the antagonist, abusers personality can’t be just a plain angry caricature. This is mane weakness of Stellas character - she doesn’t have one! Thats why she fails as both abuser and character.

HOW STELLA WAS WRITTEN IN SEASON ONE

First time we can see Stella’s behaviour is in episode 2 and we are getting introduced by this scene:

We can see she’s pretty self-centred taking a whole sheet around her and probably done with parenting (being woken up by a toddler after whole day of taking care of them ain’t a great thing, trust me). This doesn’t tell us much; just that she’s probably selfish, that’s all. Than the next time we see her we have a small time jump to the present day, but before this we get little, yet informative quote from Stolas during his lullaby

Yes, those are YouTube subtitles, I was too lazy to add them myself.

“I used to think love would be fun” - this can indicate that marriage even if arranged could be merry at first or that Stolas had other potential partners before Stella. Anyhow that means that their marriage is slowly falling apart or something is not like it used to be.

Now to the time jump-

Stella finds out her husband cheated on her with lower class. Don’t want to play devils advocate here but anyone would probably react similar way after finding out they were cheated on. She seems to be the most angry at the fact that a person Stolas cheated with was an imp (the lowest class in hell). It’s easy to see that she is on the verge of her nerves and can’t control herself anymore (according to her daughter it’s yet another time they were arguing so it must hurt deeply).

What else do we have in this episode?

Via’s words “My parents didn’t hate eachother”. If you think that’s not important because people tend to romanticise their childhood, you are only half right here - children are the best observers on the world and soak everything like a dry sponge. Octavia didn’t used words ‘loved’, ‘liked’ but ‘didn’t hate’. This can mean that even if Stolas and Stella disliked eachother they tried to appear well infront of their daughter and weren’t as chaotic as they are now. To justify this point I want to show the last thing what appeared in this episode:

Family picture with whole THREE in the LooLoo Land. Stella is visibly uncomfortable here but still goes with them. What was stopping her to say “No, I’m not coming.”? She’s with her family willingly even if she herself is not keen on spending time in amusment park.

We don’t see her for the next couple episodes until harvest moon festival where Stella is shown at the end of the episode ordering Striker to kill Stolas.

She’s visibly out of her mind and can’t think straight anymore. She wants it all to end and by end she can’t think of anything else except eliminating Stolas for good.

“I want this cheating prick dead” - don't know how about you, but I think she wasn’t mad for sleeping with lower class but for sleeping with someone else at all.

HOW STELLA WAS WRITTEN IN SEASON TWO

We have first episode of second season, we have deep dive into Stolas life, I can’t wait to see what Vivzie’s team come up wit- Oh man….

Wait, she was like that even as a baby? Great character development guys.

What a cold bish. And motivation is a peak of greatness.

No angry wife stereotypes on the horizon.

All of those hints, all of this build up for nothing? Stella is bad because she is bad? What is the point in killing Stolas anymore? How can you burry a great concept like that?

Yeah, all of those theories can be shoved under the rug; it seems like Stella have nothing except sheer enjoyment of tormenting her husband and being angry when he finally stands for himself. She is one-dimentional blank paper page with no motivation. She is made because apparently it’s not clear enough who we should feel sorry for. Spindle Horse really thought it’s a good idea that one of the main villains is just screeching fursona whose sole purpose to exist is to say to the viewers “Look, this birb is a baddie and this birdie is not. Look how deep it is.”. Yes, I am mad. I am mad because everything condensed in season one is worthless, because I am sick of bad wife stereotype, because it’s annoying watching somebody being bad for sole reason of being bad. Spindlehorse Toons have huge impact on mainstream, and rooting character model like that into viewers is just invalidating.

WHAT IS EVEN STELLAS GOAL?

We know Stella wants Stolas dead, but why? If her motivation is love of tormenting him than she doesn’t have much planning comprehension, because she won’t be able to do that anymore. If thats because he shreded family name, divorce should be enough - that litterally means you aren’t bounded with anything at all anymore, If she’s doing it to have her revenge than….. for what exactly? Stolas isn’t making a whole Goetia family name dirty, only his. This will be just dump to see whole family be taken as immoral (whatever it means in hell) because husband made a mistake- HUSBAND; somebody who can be cutted off and replaced.

I wish to add something more here but can’t, because Stellas goal makes no sense at all. She isn’t hurted by the fact Stolas cheated on her, only highly annoyed. Trying to make Goetia name clean also doesn’t make sense, because eliminating one of family members would make the name even worse and because reasons from paragraph before. Stella is litterally this cartoon villain with no motivation except “getting those ugly smurfs/taking back what was once stollen/rule Equestria”. Alright, maybe don’t paint Gargamel, Queen Chrystalis or another Skeletor in a bad light because those are villains from kids cartoons - they’re meant to be easy to interpret. Stella is villain in adult animation. Standards are different.

CLOSING THOUGHTS

I can hear somebody writting carefully “You’re mad because Stella is female, if she was a man you wouldn’t write this.”. Guess what - I want mane abuser and villain to have depth no matter the gender. Making female character awful demon spouse who have no other trait besides being evil is not innovative take; it’s lazy, bad and stereotypical writting. 

I really wish I wouldn’t be so harsh on Vivziepop and her team, but I can’t stand seeing once very complicated situasion in arranged marriage where fault is on both sides getting run over a steamroller and changing into ‘poor manbaby with no friends is chasing his only love and his horrendous wifey is a huge baddie and always has been’.

Stella fails in every aspect, and it says someone who could say “Step on me” to Mahito - a villain hated by whole fandom because he’s bad since day one and hurts main protagonists on daily basis and even kill loved by everyone cinnamon roll Junpei for sake of putting main hero on verge. But here’s a thing - even if both Stella and Mahito are awful people since they were born Mahito somehow manages to be well written villain with his reasons and other traits than mean and bad.

Please people, I know we already have huge favour by having those series for free on YouTube and animation is stellar, but sometimes we need to remember that nothing is perfect and Stella’s character really insulted writting abilities of creators and audience. Just look at all those examples above - there are women and men having different purposes in the stories, screentime and personalities, but all of them are abusers and negative characters. Even if media themselves have isssues here and there, they know how to use their opressors and Spindlehorse is (I believe) capable doing the same. It’s nothing wrong in feeling empathy to a villain (”My Sister’s Keeper”), it’s nothing wrong when villain have fiddling excuse (”The Bookshop”), but it’s wrong to make it insulting, non-motivated way like in Stella’s case.

Thanks for staying till the end. Have this heart as a gift for staying for so long on this a bit negative post

<3

Dividers by @delishlydelightfuldividers​

#helluva boss #helluva boss rant #anti stella goetia #stolas goetia #octavia goetia #essay #vivziepop #spindlehorse

[fandomsoda]

I do not think you’re a bad person, I do think you need to realize you’re part of the problem. People leave for a reason, and yes you do deserve better communication, you also aren’t innocent

I never said that I was.

Listen, I absolutely know that various struggles of mine are part of the equation. I’ve known since almost say 1 of being on this site that I was a total spitfire and needed to start finding a way to get a handle on myself and learn how to shut the fuck up/manage my tone and emotions.

And trust me, the first person I blamed was myself. Even if I still felt what the others did was shitty, I still went “ok if I’m the common denominator, it must be me”. And I’m not saying it’s not. However… I did endless internal searching and battling, I practically tore myself apart trying to figure out what about me was wrong. And of course I could point out my issues I was already aware of, and these were things I was actively working on… but I couldn’t figure out the exact behavior patterns that were the issue, much less how to spot them or curb them.

Because most people, myself especially, can’t solve their own problems all on their own. Self awareness is hard, and once you’ve achieved it, trying to figure out how to change things is even more of a mountain to climb. With the things I have problems with, I’m effectively blind to myself most of the time, and while I’m trying to become more aware of myself I still need people to help me identify my problems. This is something I have been saying up-front for a very long while now, this is a disclaimer most people get when they start getting chatty with me. “Hey, I struggle a lot with regulation and tone, if I screw up let me know”. That’s been part of most first conversations I’ve had with to-be friends.

I’m trying to trudge through things and improve myself by myself as much as I can, but learning is a very slow and painful process and I won’t get there alone. I need someone who actually cares to be willing to talk to me. Because the people who I do talk to acknowledge and see my flaws, but none of them really have the ability to grasp what others’ problem with me is. Of course I’ve come to them with “hey, this is a problem I have, a thing I keep doing, a mistake I keep making, do you have any advice?” and while I’ve gotten some good answers, nothing life changing has come of it.

I need someone who is willing to tell me what’s wrong with me in an actual proper conversation format, I need and want to have these difficult conversations, I want honesty from someone who wants to see me grow. Because the things I get told via anon can’t actually help me. A lot of the time I don’t know what the specific criticisms mean or are referring to, so I need to be able to have a dialogue and ask questions and I shouldn’t have to do that via the damn ask box.

And I know a lot of people have said “well if you’re snappy in public or casual conversation, you’re probably gonna be worse in serious ones”, but at least in my case that’s just not true. I struggle more in casual conversations due to it being just that: casual. I’m watching myself less and it’s harder to catch things if I’m trying to be a bit loose. However, if someone asks me to have a serious conversation? I am sitting down, I am gathering myself, I am watching myself, I put every single break on to try and ensure that conversation is productive and that person is heard.

And yes, I know I can’t expect someone to just come along and start trying to help me fix myself, but I also know that nothing else I have at the moment is doing much. I wish I wasn’t so helpless, I would have fixed myself a long time ago.

Thing is, so far my journey of growing on this site had been going great.. because the first time I had a bad moment on this site, someone didn’t say “what’s wrong with you?”, they asked if I was ok. And I was able to have important and difficult conversations with people, I’ve been able to grow, the people I cared about were also the people who were willing to call me out and tell me what was up without damning me or treating me like garbage.

But for some reason, that’s really not the case anymore. And since this whole thing started, I can feel myself getting worse. The pure mental strain has been making it harder and harder to manage myself, which has just led to more and more problems.

And let me be frank… a lot of the shit that’s gone down can’t solely be blamed as a byproduct of my own behavior. There is no excuse for a lot of this shit.

If someone is genuinely asking you if you’re uncomfortable, if there’s anything they can do to make you more comfortable, if they’ve upset you, if you’re ok, etc, and you chose to lie to that person, then that is on you. No matter how you slice it, that’s your fault. The blame falls squarely on your shoulders for actively choosing to keep that person in the dark. You cannot then get mad at that person for not changing if they didn’t know that anything needed to change and had even been told that everything was good.

And there are many times where I actively chose to handle something in a more mature and nuanced manner due to the fact that my head was clear enough for me to consider that choice, and have been totally flamed for it. When every single adult or more mature person in my life that I told about that situation told me that what I did was the right thing to do. And then I’m called a hypocrite for displaying growth. Total fucking bullshit.

And look, I very much understand that basically everyone involved in this whole mess (myself included) are a bunch of disoriented depressed mentally ill teenagers, and people aren’t always going to handle things well or in a way that makes sense and that’s ok. But that courtesy is never extended to me in these conversations. And even then, like I said, there’s a massive difference between coping with things differently and actively neglecting things.

And most importantly… all these punishments just don’t fit my crimes. What I’ve done doesn’t warrant this level of mental and emotional torture, it really fucking doesn’t.

I know people always look at others bringing up their mental health or emotional pain as some sort of excuse, but I am dead serious when I say that given the amount of physical and mental pain this has caused me, the amount of strain, the amount of pure desolation it’s left me with, a lot of people wouldn’t survive something like this. It’s a pain I wouldn’t wish on anyone, but I genuinely wish I could convey just how terrifying and horrible everything has felt.

This whole mess has left me with scars that may never heal. But to the people who wronged me? This was nothing more than an inconvenience.

The reason that that whole “people are tired of you” anon tipped me off was because… this time I genuinely can’t figure out what I’ve done wrong. Any other day that would have either been something I ignored or would have made me despise myself even more. But this time? I can’t figure out what I did… at the moment it seems like all I did was tell someone that I cared about them too often. And I’m certain that’s not the actual reason, just saying that sounds incredibly stupid and woe is me, but it’s all I can glean right now.

I’m not angry at you anon, and I appreciate it, you seem great and like you would have good advice, but I need you to understand that while I am not innocent, that doesn’t change that what’s happened to me is uniquely wrong, at least from how everything has looked and felt from my end. If this was normal friend break-ups, I wouldn’t resent them so much. I just… I understand where you’re coming from, and change on my end is also very important, but… there’s no such thing as a perfect victim, and I can’t fix myself on my own or in a short period of time.

[yukidragon]

Happy Sunnyversary Sunny Day Jack!

It’s hard to believe it’s been a full year since the demo first came out, isn’t it? I know that I’ve only been a part of the fandom since April, but the past 8 months for me have been such a treat that I feel a little sad I wasn’t part of it on day one.

Thanks @channydraws for posting about this sun shiny clown and getting me curious enough to give the demo a try despite my wariness towards yandere stories and games.

It’s been quite a ride. I started off like I normally do in fandoms, just being a quiet lurker, occasionally posting bits of my own content. I’ve struggled for a long time to be more social and talkative.

Then I saw all the posts made by the creator of Sunny Day Jack, Sauce. They were so active and friendly with the fandom, leaving such passionate comments that made me think of how grateful and happy it made me whenever someone did fan art based off my work. They gave me the courage to start leaving my own comments to others in the fandom.

The more comments I made, the easier it got to make them. I found it was fun to just say how I felt about all the lovely art, writing, and just general creativity in this fandom, as well as all the lovely people in it. It allowed me to make so many wonderful friends, and made my love of this fandom grow.

It also helped inspire me to draw and write more. I did my first art trades in years, four of them in a row. I was so proud I was able to be so active with creating things in a way that I hadn’t in, well... I’m not sure ever, really. I’ve always been so slow creating things, and somehow this fandom and all its kind and lovely people and creativity just sparked something in me.

When I started struggling with art again because of my health, and my writing on Sunshine in Hell slowed down, I was frustrated. It always frustrates me when I dip into my lower points when it comes to my creative works, especially when I was doing so well for such a long time. Yet, it didn’t sting so bad this time because the community was just so kind. I still felt welcome even when my ability to create stalled because everyone is just so friendly and are always happy to hear from me.

Then I started making headcanon posts. I’ve seen people do them sometimes and they intrigued me. It always excited me to see people so invested in a creator’s stories that they asked questions and wanted to know more about the worlds they create. The fact that people were asking about my story, AUs, and characters on twitter made me feel so happy, and after I started making posts here on tumblr, the flood gates opened.

Suddenly I was writing again, most every day. Sure, most of it was rough and unpolished, so many what if scenarios and analyzing, but it was so fun to play around with these ideas. It was so encouraging that all of you like them so much. You like my ideas, my writing, my art, and my characters. I’ve spent most of my life struggling to talk with others, being left to feel like no one wants to hear me talk so much, but you all proved that wrong. It all makes me so happy, and I’ll be forever grateful to you all for letting me know that you enjoy what I create and for being such kind and patient people.

Thank you for being here. Thank you for being a part of such a wonderful fandom. Thank you for encouraging me to keep creating in it. Thank you, Sauce, for creating such a wonderful story. Thank you for encouraging me to open up and grow in a way I thought I was too old to. Thank you to the entire SnaccPop Studios team for all the hard work you put into this game that I’ve fallen in love with. Thank you, everybody. I love you all so much. Happy sunnyversary! ❤️💛💙  

#Sunny Day Jack #Something's Wrong With Sunny Day Jack #SunnyDayJack #sdj #swwsdj