#burnt out gifted child

[brytnoter]

Quick notes from a long journal entry I made in December 2016 that shows my autism, before I had any idea I was autistic

Being taken advantage of in friendships

"Getting too attached to people"

"I'm an outsider"

People who are "like me" that I lock on to and don't have to "perform" for them

Alone time = can think about anything A person is present = mind goes blank, can’t  converse

"how are you" (what does it MEAN)

why can't i think of anything to say, ever

or just blurting out about anime theories to work colleagues who have never even seen any series in their life

"the inner flame gets ignited and it's so easy to talk about books"

Need to FEEL a connection before I talk to someone “properly”

"why do customers STOP AND CHAT when they ask where an item is”

If I get interrupted out of listening to music it takes me minutes to focus on the conversation being had. And then more minutes to get back to whatever I was doing

Irritation that is not controllable and goes away only when it is done with you

"how do i not be an outsider"

#autism #autistic #late diagnosed #white #high functioning #low support needs #verbal #hyperlexic #burnt out gifted child #this is just my experience #listen also to nonverbal/high support needs/poc autistics #self diagnosis is valid #2016

[xan-the-emo-trans-man]

I’m sorry I’m never good enough.

#mental illness #Mommy issues #daddy issues #mother issues #Father issues #Bpd #Burnt out gifted child

[goinginsanetostaysane]

so tired of being burnt out. i’m going to drink coffee and stay up all night to study instead.

#burnt out gifted child #uwu

[onlyjaeyun]

i'm gonna log off for a while because i'm really mentally drained from constantly hearing how unhappy and disappointed some of you guys were with both SB and CH'snendings and developments.

i know some of you guys come from a good place and mean no harm but imagine working on something for so long and then you yourself are already sad about how things ended but you wanna use it as a way to do better next time but people constantly tell you how you should do better next time and its always "i was so excited but it never came" and "i wished things would have gone this way" after you spent days crying out of frustration because your brain didn't corporate.

people who have never written (one shots or series doesnt matter) don't know the burden of leaving unfinished works up there. i keep telling you guys that i tried so hard to somehow give you guys an ending because if i hadn't you guys would have never received ANY ending so i tried to make the best of it.

i dont take the hate to heart anymore bc i couldnt care less and i know as a writer i should be open to criticism but i'm a little tired of my work being constantly nitpicked when i do this for fun.

i know updating daily was what burnt me out pls stop telling me that i obviously overestimated myself i fucking know.

whatever, it actually doesn't matter anymore because CH is over and i dont think i'll ever write smaus that long ever again bc the criticism is so not worth the mental effort and stress.

i do this for FUN. you know how artists doodle in their notebooks, this is what this blog is to me. i make mistakes, i over/underestimate things and myself bc this is life. it's just..not that deep for y'all to constantly camp in my inbox and make me feel bad about it when i already accepted it.

i'm gonna do some self reflection and think about it all so take care babies 🤍

#; rambles #i've literally been receiving huge paragraphs about just how excited people were about certain things in both CH and SB and several people #have told me how i should have just stopped daily updating and listening to y'all and taking breaks and not burn myself out bc now they're #disappointed and it sounds a LOT like my parents when they realised im just another burnt out former gifted child so #i'll see you guys around 🤍

[deathbydibs]

Broke: Dick can't cook so all he eats is uber-sugary cereal

Woke: Dick can cook and is amazing at it it

Awoken: Dick can cook and is amazing at it, but he is an exhausted and burnt-out young adult so almost all he eats is his comfort food, uber-sugary cereal, because cooking takes too much time and mental energy that he doesn't have to waste

#dick grayson #dick grayson can cook #dick grayson supremacy #dick needs a nap #dick grayson is a burnt out gifted child #let that poor man sleep

[natelia-aldelliz]

Guys... Listen I know I said I'd draw something for valentine's day but I had a bit of a rough week sooooo I'm just going to write it out instead, maybe I'll finish drawing it some day, maybe not. It's behind a show more because it's long.

(also there's talks about having sex but no actual sex, and like, general warnings about Ghost's backstory but it's very vague here).

Soap was hanging around outside, trying to bring himself to do something, anything. But the weather was nice for a February day, and the sun was out, and it was making him feel like a cat basking in the heat.

An arm wrapped itself around his shoulders, a huge body suddenly weighing on him. Ghost.

Soap hummed comfortably. This day was getting better by the minute. Any chill he might have felt from being outside in a tank top out of pure Scottish spite was instantly soothed.

Simon often times saw himself as a cold man, freezing to the touch, hidden behind a layer of ice. A proper little Elsa, Soap almost snorted out loud. The truth was that while yes, his fingers and toes' temperature was sometimes abysmal, especially in bed, the rest of him was the warmest place Johnny had ever been.

"I've got something for you in our room," Ghost whispered against his throat, making Soap shiver.

Simon had begun calling Soap's room theirs a few weeks ago and Johnny couldn't have enough of it. He was so in love it genuinely hurt sometimes to restrain himself from squeezing him to death.

"Is that so?" he purrs, knowing how Ghost likes that. If this day didn't end in sex he'd be very surprised. He'd long learned to recognize when Simon wanted sex and when he didn't, and the way he squeezed his pec in response to his voice was a very easy tell.

But then again Simon was way less subtle than he thought he was.

They made their way back to their room, and there it was, a repurposed shoebox, badly wrapped with cheap wrapping paper. Johnny couldn't be more excited, he had never received any gift from a significant other. To be fair he adored gifting but always felt awkward receiving.

But this was Simon. Something that Simon had chosen to give him.

He sat on the bed, leaving enough space behind him for Ghost to sit there so he could use him as a very comfortable backrest. When he did, he grabbed the gift and began opening it.

He knew that Ghost liked to tear the wrapping paper, liked the sound of it and liked tearing it into the smallest pieces possible after, but he himself loved carefully unwrapping it and folding it flat so he could later maybe do an origami with it or put a piece in his journal. Probably both.

This one was full of tape but he still very much enjoyed himself, considered it a challenge. He enjoyed the chase, wanted to drag it on. Ghost huffed impatiently behind him, a bit tense, probably nervous.

Inside the box was a weird old fashioned clunky thing. It was bright red, looked slightly like binoculars, definitely from the 70's, with a wheel of tiny pictures wedged in the top of it. Memories hit him all at once.

"Oh my god ah remember, my Ma had one of these when ah was a child! My sister and I loved it, it had pretty landscapes in!"

He put it against his eyes, excited to see what this one came with. At his biggest surprise, it was a picture of them. Simon had customised it.

The picture showed the back of himself a bit further away from the camera, pointing at something while in full gear, in a dilapidated town, Ghost's face in the foreground looking at the camera. It looked like Soap was talking to someone, but that person was cut by the framing.

"Wait, ah remember that mission, it's when ah saved Gaz from a landmine just to be shot seconds later," he laughed. "ah spent two fucking weeks in the hospital, ah was miserable. Ye kept joking ah should hiv left Gaz explode while staring at him, he was convinced ye actually wanted him dead!"

Then the next picture was indeed him in his hospital bed, unconscious but the state of his injuries told him he was probably just sleeping at least a few days after his admission, his life no longer in danger. In this one, Ghost was sleeping too, head in his elbow near Soap's head and his other hand holding Soap's hand.

"Who took this one?" Soap asked, moved by the tenderness of Ghost's hold on him in the picture. It would have been right after Johnny had admitted to maybe liking him more than friends, before they were officially dating.

"The hospital one?"

Soap hummed.

"Price did. Said it was for blackmail. Should have seen him, he looked like his child had just married the person of their dreams and had ridden off into a rainbow on a unicorn or some shit. Old man's sentimental as fuck, but I didn't call him on his bullshit, he's already old, that's punishment enough."

Soap giggled in response. The next few pictures were all of them together but each time he was either turning his back or asleep.

"Why the fuck am ah never looking at the camera?" he whined. He wanted some cute couple pictures, dammit!

"Couldn't have you suspecting what I was planning," Simon said, kissing his shoulder soothingly. Only then Soap noticed that he had taken his mask off at some point and turned to ask for a proper kiss, which he immediately got.

"Keep going, there's more pictures," Simon whispered against his lips when he tried to turn around to kiss him some more. His pouting only got him a smirk in response, so he got comfortable again and brought the slide viewer back against his eyes.

He was happy he did. The next picture waiting for him was just Simon in the mirror, almost in full gear, but with one gloveless hand dragging his trousers down so the camera could see the bottom of his stomach, follow along his happy trail and reaching the very top of his pubic hair. The picture cut of his head, but he could see that his mouth was uncovered and he was holding the glove with his teeth.

Soap groaned. "Steaming Jesus, love, you're so hot."

He felt Simon hide his face in the back of his neck, warmer than usual, and chuckled a bit. He loved him so fucking much.

There were four more pictures of Simon, in various suggestive poses and states of undress, some almost showing his cock but never quite committing, making Johnny feel like he was being teased.

He was getting hard though and so ready to be done with the pictures and access the real thing. But Simon was still tense behind him. In fact, he had only gotten tenser and tenser with each click.

Soap was unsure why. They never had a problem with their sexual life, Simon had already changed his mind about having sex after starting and Soap had absolutely no problem with that, was glad to hug him instead and reassure him when he had tried to apologize.

Simon knew that there was no pressure, ever, to have sex. Hell, Johnny would still be happy even if Simon decided that he never wanted to have sex again, and he had made sure to make Simon understand that.

Then he got to the last picture and immediately understood.

It wasn't a picture of either of them, just a little bit of paper, with a few words written in Ghost's awful handwriting.

Just a few words that made Johnny drop the viewer on the covers and turn around to grab Simon's face, worriedly looking in his eyes.

"Are you sure?" he asked, looking for any trace of Simon forcing himself. "Baby, ah'm happy to bottom for the rest of mah life, there's no pressure, okay?"

Simon looked at him with warmth in his eyes and his cheeks completely red, a wrapping bow added on top of his head. "I know," he said simply. "I just want to. I don't want to be haunted by memories anymore. I used to like it, and I want to like it again. With you. Just.... Be gentle, okay?"

Johnny kissed his forehead. "Ah dinnae think ah ken how no tae be gentle with ye, love."

#cod mw2 #simon ghost riley #john soap mactavish #ghostsoap #soapghost #listen i'm sure there are romantic people somewhere who think it's valentine's day everyday so how late can that be #to be fair i am terrible at deadlines i don't know why i keep giving them to myself cause i soon as i do i know i'm never doing the thing #i've also burnt out my drawing capacities for now so probably expect more writing than drawing for a bit while my poor tiny brain recovers #if anyone is wondering yes soap forgot it was valentine's day #not because he forgot about it - he just forgot to track the days and didn't know they were the 14th he had a gift ready tho #he got ghost a chocolate tablet that ghost had once complained about not being able to find anymore that's actually just me complaining irl #that my supermarket doesn't seem to have white chocolate tablets with puffed rice inside like they did when i was a child #i have no idea how that applies to anywhere else lmao maybe other supermarkets have them but i hate going to supermarkets i don't know #anyway lmao sorry my love language is ranting #soap doesn't generally like receiving gifts because he feels like he doesn't deserve them like he didn't have to work for them #and so he feels guilty when he gets one but he hasn't told anyone about that #he was happy there but if ghost gives him ''too many'' gifts he's gonna start feeling bad bc he has just as much issues as everyone else #just hides them better

[spooksforsammy]

The problem with gifted burnt out kids is that don’t really know when to not add in. As a gifted burnt out kid and a kid with an iep, there are times to talk about being a gifted child that got burnt out. And that time isn’t when someone’s talking about experience with iep, 504 and special education. That’s not when someone’s talking about experience with never having started out strong with good grades in advance classes. Time talk about being gifted not when others talking about not being in school full time or at all. Is not when talking about being drop out or having been a problematic kid to have to point where barely attend. Your time to talk shouldn’t be when someone is talking about experiences that’s looked down on when being see as gifted is good and how we get burnt out because our title is talked about often.

Do need learn back off and let others have spaces. Because they need be talked about aswell.

#speech4amy #actually autistic #disabled poc #disability #gifted child #burnt out gifted kid #iep

[thatskindagaytho]

steve: anyone d-

mike: depressed

lucas: drained

max: disliked

dustin: damaged

steve: ... done with their homework. what is wrong with you children

#this is what happened when the byers moved btw #mike being a little emo child #lucas being th burnt out gifted kid he is #max being the self loathing teen she is #and actually dustin isjust a fan of heathers the musical #he was just singing in his head #like in his head he was saying #I AM DAMAGED. FAR TOO- #then steve said d- #and he immediatly went #damaged? #sorry but yeah #and i think steve was v imporatnt in the party's lives especially when the byers left to cali #steve harrington #mike wheeler #lucas sinclair #max mayfield #dustin henderson #stranger things #stranger things incorrect quotes

[smchr-nina]

istg I can't be the only one

#taylor swift #midnights #swifties #eldest daughter #eldest sibling #anti hero #burnt out #gifted child #my past bulimic self is crying

[lunerosposts]

I feel like I am losing it. Every second I feel like my mind is deteriorating slowly. I forget more, I can barely string sentences together, I’m forgetting basic words, basic knowledge. I am not the same girl you praised, that you claimed was smarter than the other kids. I am someone worse, I have lost what made me. I am now the worst amongst my friends, less than average. I seem serious and studious but I end up disappointing everyone in the end…

#gifted child #gifted #burnt out #school #vent #emotions #gifted kid syndrome #gifted child burn out #parental issues #mental health #mentally tired

[hokkienmee]

my strawberry film is a poignant mystery show about high school crushes and unrequited love. yes. there were queer characters. but the rabid BL fans and their uncontrollable need to see gay men in everything ruined my entire watching experience. every week there would always be someone new asking "is this really a BL?" how DUMB do you have to be to not immediately recognize that it's NOT a BL after the first 2 eps. it's really just portraying this group of teenagers dealing with their early life crises.

#idgaF that you got baited by gagaoolala into believing that it was a BL/GL. first of all develop a BRAIN and actually consume media like a #normal human being and not through your 'QL' lenses (gag). 'oh this show doesn't have men kissing? ill pass' you sound so DUMB actually #none of you BL watchers should claim yourselves to be an 'empath' or 'burnt out gifted child' because clearly 70% of you lacked #the IQ and EQ to understand a simple plot...... #not my moots tho i like my people on here who actually watch shows for what they are. please stay reasonable critical and share with me you #well thought takes. even if my moots disagree with me theyre still cool and ily all. the rest well i think you're all weirdos #.txt

[1ts-izzy]

i was a prodigy

#i was #i was meant for more #i don’t know what i’m doing #i’m just a girl #younger self #young adult #felt like sharing #ill never stop #depressing shit #child prodigy #prodigy #growing up #growth #burnt out #burnt out gifted kid #kinda depressing #this is kinda depressing #tw depressing stuff #tw depressing thoughts #depressiv #this is depressing

[wake-n-tait]

‘Unbelievable, how un-achievable’

‘I’ll be the best damn tragedy they’ve ever seen’

‘I’ll me mindless, I’ll be lovely, I’ll be yours’

Something about s1 dance moms screens shauna dean cokeland but depressing :/

#shauna dean cokeland #child stars #gifted kid burnout culture is #partypeople #dance moms #abby lee dance company #abby lee miller #feminine rage #burnt out

[cryinginmyroomsposts]

The day I realised I’ve not had a single hobby or “talent” just for me and that it has always been to please others… yeah that’s the die my soul broke into numerous pieces.

#gifted kid burnout #gifted kid things #burnout #hobby #neurodivergent #people pleaser #the good child #gifted kid problems #trauma #burnt out #academic validation #writing

[gossamer-apothecary]

conrad fisher is so “this is me trying” coded

“ They told me all of my cages were mental

So I got wasted like all my potential”

are you kidding?

he’s so me

#older sibling #conrad fisher #the summer i turned pretty #tsitpbookseries #tsitp conrad #team conrad #taylor swift #folklore #he is so oldest sibling burnt out gifted child #he is so this is me trying #alex’s hot takes

[redemptionarcsucker]

I was thinking about my post from yesterday, and what is infinitely more interesting to me than Brandon calling Helia a pacifist (somewhat out of spite) is the fact that Helia definitely heard him, and chose not to refute it. Instead, he decided to prove him wrong by being the only one who could actually hold back the monster. When you think about it, literally every scene which has Helia playing a big role involves him having to prove himself. Like with the whole Shaab stone thing, when some of the others are critical of his leadership. The interesting thing here, although, is the fact that he NEVER defends himself when people doubt his abilities, but sort of quietly does his own thing and people eventually grow to respect his abilities.

We can even see this as late as Season 6. When Helia feels like he’s let Flora down, he channels this energy into taking down a bunch of werewolves, instead of maybe accepting the fact that it is alright to not be perfect at everything. This is one of the reasons we barely see what’s going on with him, since he never seems to calculate his self-worth on the basis of how other people see him, it’s entirely based on how useful he feels. 

What is fascinating and kind of hilarious about this is the fact that he technically could shut everyone up by going all out. This is why I love the idea of prodigy Helia, because this mentality is typical of highly gifted people, since you start to feel kind of dissociated from your own self and capacity, especially when people praise you. It’s uncomfortable, it’s like imposter syndrome but you’re both the imposter and the standard. In that episode in S6, when Icy freezes his heart, there’s something specific that Helia says that reveals a lot about the specific brand of darkness that bothers him. He picks a fight with Riven and says something along the lines of “it being time to put RIven in his place”. One could take that as a simple goading, but think about how quickly Helia beat Riven - at hand-to-hand combat, no less, something he has hardly engaged in throughout his time onscreen. Helia KNOWS he could easily beat any or at least most of the guys, but for the most part, he couldn’t be bothered to. I’ve not a whole lot of love for the later seasons of the show, but this episode was a great example of Helia’s relationship with heroics itself. He tells Riven to “get over” himself, really highlighting the fact that despite his fairly self-assured facade most of the time, he does harbour SOME frustration for the more showy aspects of the Specialists, since that is generally what leads to him getting overshadowed most of the time.

This isn’t to say that every decision he’s made is entirely rational, but it always seems to stem about of a need to prove to himself more than anyone else that what people say about him is wrong. THIS IS WHY HIS STRUGGLE IS UNIQUE. His insecurity is built on things that happen externally, but his focus when coping with it is completely internal. Similarly, when he makes mistakes that impact other people, he deals with it by punishing himself. This is so so fascinating because it’s somehow the exact opposite of Sky’s law-abiding heroism, and even Riven’s videogame-esque worldview. When he volunteered to save Sky, he was defo doubted. It makes sense, because even his self-assuredness seems to come from a somewhat unstable sense of self. Nobody knows what Helia’s deal is because he never really feels the need to prove himself unless it is absolutely required, and ofc it was required when Sky almost fell into oblivion. Same with the Shaab stone stuff. Helia the hero seems to have a different self-perception altogether from Helia the general dudeo. 

I would think that after years of dealing with him, his friends and Flora will have realised this about him, and generally stay out of his way when he feels the need to prove something to himself. But the S6 incident is surprising to them because he’s never felt the need to prove his comparative worth, that he’s BETTER than anyone else, especially on his team. Riven is always ready for a fight we know, but getting there-is-nothing-friendly-about-friendly-fights Helia to a duel must have been exactly what he’d been waiting for so long, since even after all those years, nobody was probably still sure of what Helia’s actual skillset was. Again, SUCH A GIFTED PERSON THING TO DO. It also checks out that he’s so supportive of everyone else’s improvement while being great at what he does but still unsure of himself.

#this post is all over the place #why did i write this again i have two papers due #no but ma boi deserves some respect #he is the literal embodiment of a burnt out gifted child #some things i may disagree with tomorrow when im older and wiser #winx helia #winx specialists #winx riven