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asmo-ds · 3 years

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i have another one! so the mc is really into fantasy fiction with demons and angels, gore, horror and spooky things in general and when they arrive instead of being scared they're like finally i'm in my element and are having fun and are excited because they hate how boring the human realm is. how would the bros (and the side characters if you feel like doing them) react to them? i love your headcanons so much btw!!

w/ Horror Fantasy Lover! MC

Warnings: mentions of spooky scary stuffs, CHAPTER 16 SPOILERS

Summary: How the Obey Me! Characters react to finding out MC has a particular interest in horror fantasy and feels more comfortable in the Devildom then they do in the human world aka where they aren’t surrounded by apex predators that want to eat their soul

- After explaining the entire situation to the clueless human who stood in the student council room he could see a sort of sparkle in their eye and they smiled widely before shouting “FINALLY! MY TIME HAS COME HAHAH!”

- His first thought is “oh they won’t last a day”.

- He gets a headache when he realizes he put them with Mammon of all people.

- He is glad that MC has an interest in such things seeing as they will be living among the strongest demons for the next year

- I feel like Lucifer loves horror fantasy novels, so if he and MC have read any similar ones they are sure to discuss and recommend to each other

- Lucifer enjoy when they come in to talk to him about things they saw that they had hear about before arriving at the Devildom because its cute to see the human so excited

- Overall finds it adorable how enthusiastic MC is about the subject

- But is also worried because they feel so comfortable around demons who can and will eat them

- BUT also glad you aren’t afraid of the demons because they can smell fear and it is overwhelming and easy to lose control when they smell it

- When MC wants to see his natural form ( bc I just know hey don’t stop at those half-human half-demon forms Solmare shows us) he worries he may scare them off, but shows them regardless and is relieved when their excited smile doesn’t falter

- When he is first showing MC around the Devildom he considers just thowing the human over his shoulder because they wont stop running towards dangerous stuff to observe it

- Like oh my Diavolo, does this human have a death wish why would they WANT to drink the potions that can and will kill them in a matter of seconds

- If his hair wasn’t already white he’d be getting white hairs from stress, like WHAT KIND OF EXCUSE IS “I’ve never drank a potion but I’ve always heard about them”?! PLEASE GIVE HIM A BREAK

- Mammon isn’t big on horror stuff so he hates when MC brings it up

- If he sees horror fantasy related stuff for sale or being bet in a gamble you can bet your ass he’s bringing it home for MC no matter what

- Sometimes when they walk around the Devildom, MC will point out creatures they’d only heard of in their stories and he loves the way their eyes light up as everything they’d read about for so long came to life

- Tolerates the subject to make MC happy, even if he can’t sleep at night because of it.

- A bit worried about the fact he has to babysit the human who is way too casual around violent predators that want to eat them

- If MC asks to see his natural form he gets flustered for a second, but then gets cocky and goes off about how “oF cOuRsE tHe HuMaN WaNtS tO sEe ThE GREAT MaMmOn iN aLL HiS GloRy”

- When MC walks into the House of Lamentation with Mammon and he introduces himself as Leviathan... their eyes light up

- They question him about all sorts of things they’d heard in old stories and if he could really turn into a giant sea monster

- After a while of knowing MC he finally promises that when they go to the beach next he will show them his natural form

- He summons Lotan when he’s mad at Mammon and when he turns to Lotan to command him to attack the avatar of greed he sees Lotan is preoccupied with the human who was giving him belly rubs and talking to the giant sea monster in a baby voice

- He like horror fantasy animes so he is 100% willing to discuss them with MC

- Whenever a new horror fantasy game or show comes out you won’t see MC and Levi for days because they’ll be holed up in his room on a mission to complete the anime or game

- He and MC like to cosplay as horror fantasy characters together as well just for fun

- Whenever he sees them look at a creature that may be normal around the Devildom but is very dangerous to interact with as a human he is immediately noping the heck out of there, dragging them away despite their cries of wanting to see the “little cute fluffy animal :(”

- When they show up and their eyes light up at the explanation that they’d been summoned to hell, he can’t help but laugh because he already knows this human is gonna be a trouble maker and cause a lot of problems for his dad Lucifer :^)

- One of his favorite genres of movies and books by far

- Loves to watch MC grow curious and fascinated by all the things in the Devildom that they never thought would be real

- He takes MC to see creatures at the Devildom zoo that you would NEVER see in the human world

- He could spend hours talking about the topic with MC and sometimes one of the brothers will walk in on them talking about scary fantasy stuff and just slowly back out bc they get SO INTO IT

- Is glad to help them learn more about creatures that reside in the Devildom

- By that I mean he hovers behind MC menacingly in demon form whenever a demon agrees to let the human examine and study them

- If MC wants to see his completely natural form he gets a bit blushy and a bit nervous as his form is the embodiment of wrath and meant to strike fear within humans

- After he finally transforms and they start to examine him enthusiastically without a shred of fear he thinks to himself “oh that’s right this is MC, my idiot human = who could crawl inside a demons mouth and still be unsettlingly happy”

- Nope nope nope

- He doesn’t like scary stuff unless he’s allowed to cling onto a cute person for comfort

- Really likes the look of excitement in MC’s eyes though as they see creatures they never thought they’d get to see because they get a sort of glimmer that just makes him go so soft for the human

- Glad they feel comfortable around demons because it means they will be more willing to come clubbing with him

- But is still sure to hover around them while they enthusiastically examine and question demons around them

- Makes flirty comments about wanting MC to examine his natural assets (aka his naked demon dick is what he wants to show them)

- In all seriousness he is very proud of his natural form and is very willing to let MC study him

- Still worried that MC is gonna get hurt by one of his brothers or another demon if MC asks to see their natural forms because he knows how easy it is to go feral and lose all reason in such forms

- He finds it cute how interested MC is in everything around the Devildom

- Very concerned about the easy going attitude around his brothers and every single being in the Devildom

- MC sometimes comes very close to eating foods that will make a human sick because they want to understand demons better and want to live just like one

- Sometimes forgets MC is only human because they just fit in so well with all the demons

- Shocked to learn how boring the human world has become as he always remembered it being exciting whenever Mammon would bring him, Belphie and Lilith down

- He’s a bit shy about his demon form because he knows a lot of humans are afraid of bugs

- But when MC so delicately yet enthusiastically examines his natural form he almost cries

- So soft for this human but so SO worried

- tries to warn them to be more cautious outside of the House of Lamentation, but knows that they aren’t gonna be because they get carried away with learning demon life

- When MC first came through the attic wall and was able to see him they made eye contact and were both like o.O

- Then MC’s face lit up as they started to talk about how cool magic was that it could hide a whole entire person and floor of a house and he is just confused, but he knows he can easily manipulate them due to their enthusiasm towards this type of stuff

- Was shocked they weren’t even afraid of Lucifer and were actually excited to see his demon form up close if they got caught

- While he is still covered in their blood and stuff after getting out and stuff the future MC comes downstairs and is just like OMG YOU KILLED ME SO EASILY

- MC gets dangerously close to him again asking questions about his claws and tail and powers etc.

- After that whole ~ordeal~ he grows protective over MC seeing how they trusted him so easily due to their enthusiasm because he knows there are people out there who still want to hurt the human

- He is surprised by the description Mc gives of the human world as he remembers it being so interesting, but he guesses that since it has been very long since he last went but is still sad to hear it’s less interesting’

- Can act like a brat whenever MC puts themselves in danger due to their curiosity

- If they ask to see his natural form he is a bit shy because he worried they might get scared by him seeing as how he killed them in only half demon form so how were they going to handle his whole entire self

- Seeing their eyes light up at his explanation as to where they were made his heart leap with joy

- He knew this year would go smoothly with such an enthusiastic human!

- He was wrong.

- It feels like every five seconds he will be getting a call from Lucifer about MC almost dying from getting too close to demons and other Devildom native creatures.

- Worried about the poor human but doesn’t want to ruin their fun so he scolds them very lightly and assigns familiars to protect them 24/7

- If MC wants to talk to him about any other creatures, rather than going to find them by themselves, he is glad to educate them on any false stories they’d heard

- When MC asks to see his final form he laughs it off at the time, afraid of hurting or frightening them

- But if MC insists enough he will show them and is rather shocked when they enthusiastically poke and prod at him while asking a bunch of questions.

- He knew MC would be like this as he was one of the main people to prepare for MC’s arrival

- He’d prepared a bunch of horror fantasy novels for the brothers to put in the human’s room

- Was a fan of reading those books as well, but mostly because he liked to see how the humans interpreted the existence of such creatures

- When Diavolo starts getting stressed about MC’s constant questioning to random demons who try to hurt them, Barbatos decides to entertain MC for a bit and offer them a crash course on demon foods so they could better understand the diets of the creatures around them

- Worries a bit for their safety as he knows Mammon isn’t the most reliable, but still decides to trust him for the sake of his own sanity

- If MC wants to see his natural form he hesitates for like a second before transforming

- Finds it cute how the human examines the big scary demon with so much enthusiasm

- As a fellow human he can understand the dissatisfaction with the human world and it’s lack of interesting events

- But he also worries because he is comfortable going up to demons casually because he knows how to use magic and demon pacts, but MC goes up to demons casually with no way to protect themselves

- He finds it a bit funny to watch the demon brothers freak out over MC talking to other demons and putting themselves in danger

- Teaches MC all the ways to safely interact with creatures in the Devildom by using spells to protect themselves

- Forces some of his 72 demons to let MC study them and learn more about them

- Finds their enthusiasm cute but concerning

- He gets very protective every time they go to the Devildom, y’know since MC has a habit of literally chasing demons down to ask questions about their demon forms, powers and other creatures they see

- He is a bit worried when he learns about the humans intense fascination with creatures such as himself and the demons that they are now surrounded by

- Is as protective over them as he normally is with Luke

- Like the way Luke chases demons to insult them while MC chases them to ask questions and study them makes him consider getting a leash

- If MC wants to see his complete angel form he is more than happy to show them since he is meant to bring comfort to humans as an angel

- Still finds them absolutely adorable when their eyes light up as they see things they never thought they’d get to witness irl

- Tries to teach them more about those creatures they want to examine without the danger of being attacked by demons and such

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mammonsvulva · 3 years

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Hi there! I just discovered your page and i loved the bachata headcannon!

On that same line, can you do a female latina headcannon? Like, more specifically, Colombian, you know, an MC that's like normally fluent in english but when mad she just burst on angry spanish screaming session with latin curses and a strong accent and also just getting really mad if deemed as Mexican by default? I'd love that! Thank youuuu (also feel free to ignored this if it's not of your fancy)

I hope you have a great day!

Of course! I really hope you like it! :)

(I tried to incorporate things some of my relatives say as Colombians please don’t hate me🥲)

The Brothers + Datables and a Latina MC with Colombian Habits

Lucifer❤️

Lucifer has always been amused by the boldness MC portrayed, that is until Mammon pissed her off

MC actually f*cking explodes, calling Mammon “culicagao” (like a bratty kid) and a bunch of profanities out of rage

Actually leaves Lucifer surprised, who could she hate so much that she’d put a curse on them?

Is actually kind of scared to speak up after she went silent, kinda just stares at her like “what the fuck do I do”

“I’ve told Mammon A THOUSAND TIMES. IM NOT F*CKING MEXICAN”

(Oooohh Mammons gonna get his ASS WHOOPED)

“MAAAAAAMMMMOOOOONNN????”

Mammon💛

Could learn a thing or two from MC, had some strong clap backs

Is counting his money when OUT OF NOWHERE MC just starts incanting a literal curse

Literally has his quaking in his boots dude, like he’s genuinely terrified

He can’t keep up with anything she’s saying and feels like his time to die has come

Doesn’t say A WORD when she calms down, jumps when she starts apologizing for reacting like that

“W-w-what happened? ( ⚆ _ ⚆ )”

“I LOST 10 GRAND IN BLACK JACK! ITS FUCKING RIGGED!”

Is genuinely more cautious for a while, kind of traumatized him

Mammon thought it’d be a great Idea to take her to meet one of his witches, MC already didn’t like her but listen to this

First thing the witch said was “Aren’t you that Mexican transfer student or whatever?”

(‘Oooh Ms. Girl you fucked up’)

Leviathan💙

Wishes he could have MCs confidence, ‘how does she respond like that 0•0’

He’s reading Manga while MC just lost on the same level for the 5th time

Accidentally shifts to his demon for he got so scared

Has to whip his tail up and grab the controller before she could slam it, genuinely terrified for his well being

Once she calms down she goes to give him a hug, to help with her frustration

*PANICS* “I-I can h-help you with that level, if y-you want..”

MC watches as he beats it with ease and heaves a sigh of relief, literally such a stupid game

Gets just as offended as MC when somebody said “I went to Mexico on vacation once, what was it like growing up there?”

Will let her handle it and he’ll be her Moral Support <3

Satan💚

Loved that MC was always ready, he was like that too being the Avatar of Wrath

Is genuinely amused when MC burst out swearing because she got a bad grade, he actually thought it was hilarious

Thinks of like a game to keep up with everything she’s shouting, makes her more upset

“What the fuck are you laughing at juemadre de la-“

“You’re Hot when you’re mad, Did you know that?”

Makes her go silent immediately, why is he like this, making people wanna act up on DIAVOLO

When they’re BOTH mad at something it’s like a f*cking BOMB RAID bro

They both just keep adding more, even when Satans speaking a Demon Dialect and MC is speaking Spanish LMAOO

When an arrogant soul decides to purposely mislabel MC as Mexican, the fool needs to count his seconds with MC and Satan both getting on his ass

Asmodeus💞

Has always liked the spunk MC had, it entertained him to watch her bicker with his brothers

Surprised, but not happy AT ALL with the fact that MC could blow up like that

Gets on MC for lashing out, “MC! THIS IS TERRIBLE FOR YOUR SKIN, DO YOU WANT WRINKLES?”

Gets MC to tell him what made her loose her cool like that

“That stupid b*tch from class posted saying “That Mexican transfer student isn’t pretty enough to be this annoying”

Almost explodes as bad as MC did

“MS. GIRL SHE SAID WHAT? Lemme hop on Devilgram and end her career real quick💖”

Devilgram post- Asmodeus 19:34: “Aw sweetie, Not everybody can be as gorgeous as MC and muah, but don’t go trying to drag her in the dirt with you. Filthy🥱”

No mercy on the haters💔

Beelzebub🧡

Like Asmo, found it entertaining to see MC bicker with his brothers every now and then

MC just couldn’t keep calm anymore when she messed up the recipe she was working on AGAIN

Beel becomes more concerned than scared, ‘Is she ok? :(‘

Gets up to hug MC, hoping it’ll help calm her down a bit

She explains that she kept ruining the dessert no matter how hard she tried

“MC, it’s ok to do it wrong, because it helps you learn how to do it right :)”

She’s tried again, except this time with Beel to help her :)

Gets upset when someone defaults MC as Mexican, knowing how much she hates it

He may be a teddy bear but man don’t f*ck with his Chef

Belphegor💜

Thought MC was amusing with the way she made sure everyone knew she wouldn’t take any BS

MC just happened to stub her toe while Belphie was sleeping, and now he’s awake, and heated

“What the f*ck happened?”

Is actually more concerned than upset, she wouldn’t lash out like that for no reason

When MC explains that a picture of her in the RAD Catalog still ended up being there even though she made it clear she was against it

“Oh, MC- you look good in every photo, I wouldn’t be upset about it”

Assures her it’s not a big deal and then invites her to come take a nap with him

Will mean mug the f*ck out of anyone who assumes MC is Mexican, because he finds extremely disrespectful (as it is)

Might commit homicide if they keep saying Mexican but I ain’t no snitch

Diavolo♥️

At first took MC as disrespectful, but learned it was only when she felt she was being disrespected (then by all means, go off)

Surprisingly, Diavolo speaks Spanish, but he still kind of struggles to keep up

He’s just laughing the whole time too, like MC isn’t furious

Later, MC calmly explains just some random student pissed her off again

“Who is this student you say? Do I need to have a chat with them as the Demon Lord of The Devildom? :)?”

Dia actually admires how passionate MC is about her home country, agrees that it’s disrespectful to mislabel someone

Because he can, Dia starts to learn about Colombian culture and throwing parties just for MC

Starts saying shit like “politas pa la rumba!” (I’ll buy beers for everyone¿) just to sound cool to MC

Barbatos💟

Barb doesn’t understand how someone could be so beautiful but so hostile sometimes, overall doesn’t really mind though

Is surprised that such things could conde from MC, kind of chuckles thinking about it

He figured he should try and step in to calm the situation

“Is there anything I can do to ease you, MC?”

It ended up being that Diavolo was completely ignoring her and brushing her aside when he never did that with Solomon

Asks if she’d like him to talk to Dia about it, since he may approach it better than she will

Barb will quietly correct anybody who believes her to be Mexican, just so MC won’t have to deal with their arrogance herself

Takes his free time and makes dishes from Colombia, or Colombian themed cookies or cupcakes to make MC happy :)

Simeon🤍

Is trying to teach MC better ways to respond to idiots, more Angelic ways

When MC blows up for the first time in front of him, the literal shock she sent him into omfg

*GASP* “MC?! WHY ARE YOU SAYING SUCH VILE THINGS?”

Like, HELLOOO? SHE DARES TO SAY SUCH THINGS IN AN ANGELS PRESENCE?

Helps to calm her down after showing distaste for her words

“You’re lips are to beautiful to speak such sinful things”

Will go on to give MC a long but kind lecture about why exploding like that is bad for her Aura and whatever

Will politely make it known that someone was wrong for assuming MC is Mexican, does get a bit irritated though

He now goes up to MC when she’s getting upset, to remind her to breathe and comfort her with a deep hug :)

“See? It’s ok MC~ just breathe in and out for me, ok? :)”

Solomon⚛️

Will piss MC off on purpose just to see her pop off, he LOVES it

Literally her #1 cheerleader when she blows up, adding on to what she’s upset about

“Period MC” “No way she said that! What a fugly b*tch” “Right, she’s just a hater”

Hypes her up all the time, even when she’s obviously in the wrong

Sol needs ALL the tea, pulls up like “who we talking shit about?”

Will get on someone’s ass just because, now think about when someone mislabels MC😳💥

Gives MC a sense of pride hearing him say “Cagué” when he messes up a potion, he obviously picked that up from her

Luke⛅️

Gets kinda (really) scared when MC becomes a little aggressive

Actually bursts out crying because he was scared MC was mas at him

MC traumatized this kid so bad, he ran to Simeon like he was getting chased be some demons

“M-m-mom is really m-mad and *sobs* I’m s-scared *sobs more*”

MC IMMEDIATELY feels super bad because she scared away his soul

Simeon, having talked to her about it already, mouthed “Apologize now.” In a very not polite manner, kinda scaring MC too🚫🧢

Has MC apologizing PROFUSELY, trying to explain it wasn’t Luke’s fault

Once he calms down, they go to bake cookies like usual, except this time he’s sniffing the whole time :( 💔

I really hope this fit what you asked for :( </3

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strosmkai-rum · 4 years

Text

ADDITIONAL DRAGON SHOUT USE HEADCANONS

note: these are headcanons for the use of shouts by dragons. also known as, bethesda, i KNOW dragons know more shouts than the three or four they use in game. so here. every shout covered.

- fire breath. oh. oh.

- okay but definitely fire breath shouts have different colors like to show how hot/strong the flame is

- a really bright red that sputters a lot or catches in their throat means that they don't quite understand the meaning yet, and it'll take more meditation/practise before they can get a constant orange stream of fire

- so we know how fire breath looks in game. it's a stream of orange flame. well i raise you:

- the fire will burn hotter and change color (red to orange to white to light blue, see the charts abt fire color or something idk what they called), and even stagger the user if it's too strong.

- very, very strong fire breath shouts have the impact of unrelenting force, so first they destroy anything in their way with the sheer impact and anything else is melted by an actual stream of lava/that shit is definitely not fire at that point, lava's the only comparison i have even if lava not blue-

- i fucking hate that in game if you use fire breath on a rock it'll like, be burnt only. enough understanding of fire breath and you can turn anything into slag.

- fire is just so cool. maybe some dragons like roasted meat, like huge scaly gordon ramsays. maybe they shout at some ground so they have a warm place to sleep. it’s canon that it’s greeting though, so a weak fire breath to say hello not friend, i will not roast you alive and instead slightly warm you.

- frost breath. a stream of icy wind IN GAME. not really here, though. i agree that it’s something like an icy wind, but has extreme power and force behind it, and while fire breath will roast you, frost breath will just plain fuck you up if you try to hold your ground. you won’t get the chance to be frozen, you’ll just go flying.

- weak understandings make a really cold breath. sort of how in winter you can see your breath? yeah, that’s a weak frost breath.

- strong understandings will cause most things to frost over. it has the effect of a weaker ice form, but with a lot more versatility.

- both fire breath and frost breath are commonly used in sweeping motions, as opposed to focusing on one target. let’s face it, what kind of a human can stand up to even half a second of that? it’s a lot more efficient in taking out big groups, or destroying the terrain to give them a disadvantage.

- ice everywhere. that is all.

- ice form now, hehe. so! don’t try to block it. your shield or arm is gonna get cast in ice and be useless/immediately shatter. yeah, that’s right. you don’t thaw out of an ice form, you explode. into lots of frozen pieces.

- but, let’s say, you don’t like my exploding hc. that’s fine. i raise you, person frozen in a solid chunk of ice that would put the sea of ghosts to shame. they not gonna thaw out in time to be saved. sorry. no escape.

- call dragon is used when, you know, calling other dragons. other dragons know other dragons, so it’s either a challenge, or a call for help. or, in paarthurnax’s case, bro i just wanted to talk nO DONT SHOUT-

- being called for aid in a battle is an honor and a sign of trust between dragons imo, shows that you trust them enough to cover you when you need aid and that they’re strong enough to pull you out of whatever crap you’re in.

- storm call. beautiful. it's control over kynareth's domain, so yeah, kind of an ego boost. but also mad useful in a fight, striking down your opponents with lightning. dragon's can't fly while using this, as a bolt could hit them instead. and oh boy, they're strong. can easily tear a whole through a wing or break a plate.

- clear skies is funny too. can you imagine a heavy downpour and some dragon’s trying to sleep without the ground turning to slush, so he just shouts the storm out of the skyr? incredible. just as storm call can summon one, clear skies gets rid of it. the stronger shout prevails. but use it enough times in succession, and kyne might get a bit pissed off…

- oh, i can def see drain vitality used after a rough battle, dragon needs healing stat so they find a crowded area/a big animal and steal their life force. an easy way to heal up.

- dismay would be used with battles against huge numbers of people/a literal army. it’s sort of like mind control, but you can only control the effect, and that’s about it. make them scared and stuff. for some people, they’ll turn tail and run. others maybe hesitate. others don’t care. won’t work against akaviri though. stoicism and all. or other dragons.

- cyclone would be hella useful against big groups. great for sowing chaos.

- disarm. ah yes. used, quite often, in battles with worthy opponents. say an akaviri. say some words, and their katana goes flying. it’s a great intimidation tactic. oh, try to hold onto it too, and you can easily snap your wrist or fingers.

- and i say worthy opponents, as in "mortals that were specifically trained to fight dragons/are incredibly powerful, not your average soldier".

- marked for death, oh i like this. so the wiki description is that the opponent’s life force and armor are weakened. can you imagine battling a dragon, they shout at you, and suddenly your armor just...starts disintegrating? like there’s holes forming, straps holding armor plates together disintegrating entirely, and any wounds you have are opening up like chasms. it’s devastating. used against a dragon, their scales start to grow brittle and weak, so it's a lot easier to break a plate.

- slow time, ah, this would be a huge huge ego boost. time’s akatosh’s domain. it doesn’t stop for anyone, but maybe it’ll slow down a bit for dragons.

- hc that dragons are not affected by slow time. they’re fragments of akatosh, the time god. they sure won’t slow down. neither will the db. so imagine one of them uses slow time, and suddenly there’s this normal paced battle one on one, with everything else at a standstill/veeery slow, until time catches up and everyone but them. is so out of it and jaded bc humans can’t really comprehend time, they’ve like a hundred years at most (hc that bretons live slightly longer due to slight mer blood). elves have a more firm grasp of it, esp altmer. yeah, yeah, they’ve a right to brag here.

- additional thoughts, maybe stuff affected by slow time either:

1. has normal running thoughts but physically is slowed down (not very probable imo, but still possible)

2. has both slowed consciousness and physical form (most probable)

- bend will. aha. now this, works on the dragonborn as well as other dragons. it’s pretty much mind control. you need a strong willpower to break free, though.

- unrelenting force. nice. it is strong. trees are easily uprooted. boulders fly. people fly too. no matter who you are, though, always brace yourself before using it, because you could go flying too.

- dragons won't get thrown back too far, but maybe they'll jump back or take flight for a second before landing again.

- dragonrend. no. they’re mad scared of it. mad scared. partially the reason they hate and fear akaviri. a dragon can’t comprehend dragonrend, because it’s mortality in a shout. and for most of them, what they don’t understand, they fear.

- whirlwind sprint is interesting to say the least. so, the db can use it and...run really fast? so how does it work for dragons? they can't run, per se, so here's my take.

- maybe dragons can use it while flying. probably super useful in aerial combat with other dragons. it lets them quickly dodge shouts, change direction unpredictably, and stay out of their reach.

- become ethereal, oh, oh. just, can you imagine a fucking dragon turns blue during a fight and suddenly you can’t hurt them? heehoo. it’s not used very often, as become ethereal's best used when you’re not doing too hot and need to heal up a second. not much can get them to that point. but it’d be so funny though.

- aura whisper isn’t very commonly used, actually. dragons have incredible sight and smell, they’d probably sense anyone way before they could approach. by the way bethesda, what’s that thing called “i can sneak up on a dragon?” yeah, no. you can’t.

- kyne’s peace, maybe if they’re really not having it with the local wildlife and just want to nap in peace. but i don’t think that many bears or wolves will threaten a dragon.

- animal allegiance isn’t used much either; they’ve no use for the local flora. there’s not much stronger than a dragon. maybe sometimes they use it to acknowledge kyne’s gifts, and that animals/nature can be worthy allies..

- elemental fury is kind of an ehh, skyrim says it lets you swing faster. maybe it lets them fly faster/use teeth/talons/wing claws faster? i'd imagine it's only applicable to physical attacks, though.

- battle fury’s a maybe. it’s for allies, and i don’t think there were too many references in game about dragons being super close with each other. i could definitely be wrong though. they do call themselves brothers and sisters, but maybe it’s just a shared blood thing.

- throw voice is practically useless in game. dragons wouldn't want to hide anyways, unless grievously wounded.

- soul tear i'd imagine only durnehviir knows, and for good reasons too.

- call of valor isn’t here, for obvious reasons.

- dragon aspect i wouldn't think, as it's meant for the db to take on a draconic aspect. can't get much more draconic than an actual dragon.

- alduin’s meteor storm shout isn’t actually a shout, mans just roars.

- alduin’s shout to resurrect dragons i’d assume would only be known by him, and other dragons are unable to comprehend the meaning of the shout. so, the words of the shout are slen (flesh), tiid (time), vo (un, like the prefix). so has his own grip on time, and can use it to bring dragons back to life, provided they still have their soul.

- look, there’s gotta be a better explanation as to why other dragons can’t use it. maybe they can use it. but then the ability bring other dragons back to life would be so widespread, the dragon war probably would have ended a lot sooner and not with the outcome we wanted. so maybe only alduin truly understands the meaning of death and rebirth, having destroyed the world many times before, only to be reborn with it and repeating the cycle again and again.

- universal hc that lots of words in dragon speech can be used in different shouts with interchangeable meanings.

you’re at the end. good. listen here. journalism class is on my ass about articles and shit. i’m going to be busy from now. i had some stuff to slowly give to you guys to give me time to make more, but i caved and released them all at once. give me some time. please. sorry if these weren’t quite up to par with my last ones, but i said “hey, imma release two thing today” and it’s12:08 am here.

can you tell i’m super tired? i wrote like half of these half asleep.

#skyrim #tes #dragon #shouts #magic #lore #headcanons #my headcanons

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angelhalo · 4 years

Text

Smut Alphabet - Barbatos

A = Aftercare (What they’re like after sex)

Already has the towels and blankets on standby to clean and wrap you up. If you’re especially needy, he’ll on the rare occasion spoon you (you’re the little spoon ofc, doesn’t matter if you’re physically bigger) with lots of words of affirmation and whispering sweet nothings in your ear. But usually, he’s quiet. Can’t help but offer a compliment about something you did or how you look; it’s part of his etiquette.

B = Body part (Their favourite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

His favorite body part of his is his hands; they get a lot done, not just for his butler duties, but during his alone time with you. Absolutely weak for his partner’s back - he loves the way it arches - he finds its unique shape beautiful.

C = Cum (Anything to do with cum basically… I’m a disgusting person)

This man does not like making messes, but this is the exception. He doesn’t mind cumming inside you, but he prefers cumming on your body, whether it’s your face, back, stomach, etc. Facials may or may not be his favorite!

D = Dirty Secret (Pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

Maybe not so secret to MC after their first few sexcapades, but Barbatos is quite the voyeur (you can’t blame him, all that time yearning for MC as they lived with seven demon bros, only able to sneak glances at them...)

E = Experience (How experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing?)

He’s a fast learner (in thanks to serving prince of the Devildom) and adept at finding out what his partner likes, so despite his lack of previous partners he has no qualms pleasing them. It’s only apparent, his lack of experience, when you try to take the lead and he doesn’t know what to do when he’s not in control in the bedroom.

F = Favourite Position (This goes without saying.)

Barbatos will never admit it, but missionary. It’s so intimate and he loves being so close to his partner; he likes watching their facial expressions.

G = Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment, or are they humorous, etc)

Can go either way. But by default, he’s a pretty serious person. He loosens up more with you as time goes on, but during giggly sex you’re doing most of the laughing.

H = Hair (How well groomed are they, does the carpet match the drapes, etc.)

Just like the rest of his appearance, he keeps things tidy and on a semi-regularly basis trims his hair. I don’t think manscaping is the proper term to use, he sees no problem with body hair and isn’t uncomfortable with it, he just dislikes when things get unruly.

I = Intimacy (How are they during the moment, romantic aspect…)

Not very talkative unless you’re nervous and he wants to make you feel relaxed, then he’ll be sure to whisper lots of compliments and leave soft kisses on your neck and chest. Lots of lingering touches and eye contact. The foreplay begins way before you’re in the bedroom, whether it’s a cliché candlelit dinner or back massage or drawing you a bath filled with rose petals, he will treat you. He is a secret romantic.

J = Jack Off (Masturbation headcanon)

This man has so much self control he rarely feels the need to actually relieve himself in private. Granted, it was a lot easier before he met you. He will not jack off to you until you’ve been in a committed relationship for awhile, because otherwise he’d think he’s being vulgar. The few times he actually does get off though he prolongs the act, edging himself until he tires himself out, either by cumming or becoming disinterested (and soft), and falling asleep. Despite his personality, he never feels guilty about masturbating.

K = Kink (One or more of their kinks)

Bondage/shibari - he loves tying his partner up, but when they’re hanging midair that’s his favorite

Voyeurism - bonus points if MC is into exhibitionism and encourages him to watch

Breathplay - his hands around your neck and he’s still wearing his white gloves, try choking him see what happens <3

Sadism and Discipline, for the following his partner is on the receiving end - degradation, impact play (esp flogging w/whips and spanking w/ paddles or his hands), gagging, begging

Breeding (or simulating it through roleplay) - this is the riskiest one and one he’s hesitant to bring it up, if it’s not your thing it’s not an issue but if it is well you’re lucky to say the least

L = Location (Favourite places to do the do)

One of the many unused rooms in Diavolo’s palace, or his bedroom. He’s not so adventurous about the where so much as the how

M = Motivation (What turns them on, gets them going)

MC teasing him throughout the day with playful texts and sending suggestive pics, MC purposely acting bratty and insisting they be punished, MC flirting with him in the open esp around the brothers (but NOT around Diavolo). Sit on his lap and rub yourself against his thigh and beg a little, he'll pay attention to you eventually

N = NO (Something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

Basically anything with bodily fluids, with the exception of blood. And public sex is a no, he wouldn’t risk being caught. Would be turned off if MC suggested a threesome, but could be persuaded depending on with who.

O = Oral (Preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc)

He likes both, but prefers giving. THE best service top when giving oral, ask him anything he’ll do it. Knows he’s rough when receiving so doesn’t ask for it much, but if you like being face fucked it’s a win-win

P = Pace (Are they fast and rough? Slow and sensual? etc.)

Barbatos has a lot of pent up stress and feelings, he’s rough. But he’s also not in a rush for his time with you to be over, and so he’ll draw it out with a slow pace if time permits, until you’re begging him to go faster. He will. He can be soft too, and when you’re both feeling more lax the sex is gentler and quieter. He still makes sure you cum.

Q = Quickie (Their opinions on quickies rather than proper sex, how often, etc.)

Sadly, sex with Barbatos is usually in the form of a quickie. He has like no free time so get used to it.

R = Risk (Are they game to experiment, do they take risks, etc.)

He’s a butler yes, but he’s also a demon. He’s willing to entertain most of MC’s fantasies/suggestions as long as there is no real risk of being caught in the act. Funny enough, riskiest thing they’ve done together was fuck while MC was on the phone with one of the demon bros, at Barbatos’ request.

S = Stamina (How many rounds can they go for, how long do they last…)

When Barbatos says he can last all night, he means it. Won’t cum until you’ve orgasmed at least once. Lasts longer in doggy style because he can’t see your face and get turned on by your expressions. If you tire easily it’s okay, he’ll hold you up and keep up the pace <3

T = Toy (Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?)

Ends up acquiring lots of toys to use on his partner, experimenting is the best way to have the best sex he reasons. He’s particularly fond of using vibrators on you, and keeping them in you after you leave his room; you know those vibrators that can be controlled by remote or phone, yah you can bet he’ll randomly up the intensity.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

If you’ll let him, he’ll tease you till you’re crying. He knows how to make you beg, beg for more, beg for less. He’ll make fun of you for whining, but it drives him to tease you longer. King of orgasm denial and edging, be careful.

V = Volume (How loud they are, what sounds they make)

He’s quiet by nature, but his shallow breaths are so pretty, and the unexpected grunts when you push back against him in doggy style in between him fucking you are everything. If you somehow convince him to bottom or get pegged, he’ll whimper for you and bite his lips trying to stifle his moans.

W = Wild Card (Get a random headcanon for the character of your choice)

This man has a forked tail please pay special attention to it (aka shove it down your throat), you’ll be rewarded!

X = X-Ray (Let’s see what’s going on in those pants, picture or words)

Just girthy and long enough to give you that nice full feeling that takes time to adjust before he can start pounding into you. Will almost always finger you beforehand to prep you for his size, since demon dicks are quite dissimilar to humans’ and are on the larger side. His size came as a welcome surprise the first time you saw it because it seemed unexpected from someone so modest

Y = Yearning (How high is their sex drive?)

Oh he yearns for you, your body, to touch you, but he’ll never beg for sex. In fact, it’s MC that finally brings it up and initiates it. Could honestly probably go without it, but why would he now that he has the most wonderful partner!?

Z = ZZZ (… how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

He’s used to long nights at work (aka helping Diavolo carry out another dumb prank on some poor soul, filing paperwork, or something more morbid) so he won’t immediately fall asleep even though he’s tired. He falls asleep only after you have. He likes to watch you slowly drift off, and it’s these moments he knows he’s in deep. He’s actually fallen for a human. On these nights he dreams.

#i don’t accept constructive criticism #obey me #obey me!#obey me barbatos #om! barbatos #swd barbatos #obey me! barbatos #shall we date barbatos #barbatos imagine #not sfw

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offbrandmercyplates · 4 years

Text

Bedtime Stories (Emster)

Bro I had a lightbulb. Lemme know if writing fanfiction is okay or not, but this was just too cute and I had to share it! It was based off the bedtime stories comic!!!

********

“But the prince travelled from house to house, looking for anyone who the shoe could fit. He came across monsters with big feet, monsters with little feet, and monsters with no feet at all! But he never came across the young, beautiful monster that he remembered from that night, with the lilac tentacles that slipped perfectly into the glass slipper."

Papyrus’ head lulled against Sans and his eyelids began to flutter. Bee had to contain a chuckle, as she’d learned by this point that whenever she did chuckle at the two sleepyheads they instantly became alert and would demand at least one more story.

"Finally, he came across the grand house of Cinderella and her family. When he knocked on the door, the stepsisters were overjoyed! Their tails wagged and their ears perked up as they welcomed him inside. However, both of their feet were too big to fit in the shoe.”

Sans smiled to himself. Even at this young of an age, there was joy in the karmic justice of the stepsisters’ fate.

“Cinderella, meanwhile, stayed to sweeping the stairs, listening to the conversation, trying to figure out some way that she could enter without her stepsisters stopping her. The prince sighed as both of the step sisters failed, but as he turned to leave, Cinderella ran down the stairs and called out to him."

Bee cleared her throat. She was never good at doing voices.

”‘Wait! I would like to try on the slipper!’ The prince swiveled around. He could already feel the memories of the beautiful maiden coming back to him, though this time she was in rags, and covered with ash.“

”'My love, is it truly you?’“ Her voice switched to a deep register, and the two brothers chuckled at her, clearly not getting it close to what an actual man sounded like.

"But, as she and the prince got closer to each other, the step mother, lurking in the corner, had a wicked idea. She pretended to be approaching the stepsisters, but on her way over, she pumped into the prince, and he dropped the slipper. As soon as it hit the floor, it immediately shattered into a thousand pieces."

"Oh no! How are they gonna get married now?!” Papyrus looked genuinely concerned. Even though she should know by now that every story that she told would set Papyrus on edge, every single night she was always alarmed by just how empathetic he was. It made her proud.

“I dunno bro, maybe that, uh, fish godmother can help?” Sans responded lazily. At least Bee was sure that he was paying attention.

“Cinderella merely chuckled to herself. 'There’s no need to worry, Your Majesty, for you see, I have the others.’ And she reached into her pockets and pulled out the seven other glass slippers for each of her tentacles.”

“Hooray!” Papyrus snuggled under the blankets a little closer to his brother.

“And so, the two went back to the castle and were married that day. And they lived happily ever after. The end."

"What happened to the stepsisters? And the mom? Did she leave them?” Papyrus’ eyes widened.

“They weren’t very nice to her, bro.” Sans was always the more strait-laced.

“Maybe not, but I still think that they deserve a second chance.” Bee could feel her cheeks glow with pride.

“I think Cinderella agrees with you, Papyrus. She invited her stepmother and stepsisters to live at the castle with her, and over time, because of her kindness, the sisters and mother felt guiltier and guiltier. One day, they got on their knees and begged her for forgiveness. And she gave it to them."

"See. I told you.” Papyrus playfully nudged his brother.

“I don’t know. If I were Cinderella, I would want that fish godmother to give me a car or something. And g. So I could drive away and buy a house.” Sans did take after his father.

“Well, you can think about that tomorrow,” Bee leaned in and gave each brother gentle kisses on the top of their skull, “Goodnight Sans. And goodnight Papyrus.”

“G'night.” Papyrus yawned.

“Yeah, g'night.” Sans also yawned, though he tried to suppress it.

Bee turned off the lamp and the room was plunged into calming darkness.

“Sweet dreams.” She whispered, before gently edging out the room and shutting the door.

She popped her head into the bedroom. Gaster was nowhere to be found. Well, he only goes to two locations in this house, and the bedroom is empty. Lab it is.

Bee climbed down the stairs, listening for any sounds that could give her an indication of just what had kept him up so late. No explosions or screaming, which was always a good sign, but no confused hums or joyful muttering as he copied down his latest theory.

She gently knocked on the door, before doing as all mom’s do and opening it without waiting for answer.

There, in front of her, was a delirious Gaster, with small dark circles that she didn’t know he could have under his eyes. He was writing feverishly in a notebook while various colorful substances in jars and vials on the desk danced in the background.

“Are they asleep?” He didn’t look up.

“They are. That means you should at least try to get some sleep as well."

He sighed before rubbing his face with his bony fingers. He was in no mood to protest.

"I know.” He dropped the pencil and stood up from his desk, draping an arm around Bee’s shoulder as the two walked out of the laboratory together. As they passed through the doorframe, his arm extended a little further around her shoulder to switch off the light. The two traipsed up the stairs.

“What story was it tonight?” He peered at her from the side.

“Cinderella."

"Never heard of it.”

“It’s about a girl who’s stuck with an evil family, but she ends up going to a ball in secret with really nice clothes because of her fairy godmother, but she has to leave before midnight, but before she goes she leaves behind a glass slipper. The prince fell in love with her that night, but since she’s gone, he takes the glass slipper and tries it on every woman in the kingdom until he finds the one that can fit it. So he finds her, and they get married.”

“Makes perfect sense.” His sarcasm gave Bee a trace of a smile.

“Even in the long version it doesn’t make any sense. Especially since our Cinderella had 8 tentacles, so she had a bunch of slippers."

The two reached the top of the stairs, and Gaster shut the door to the stairway behind them. He moved like clockwork, as this ritual of her retrieving him from the confines of his lab had become a nightly ritual for them. As he shut the door, the two continued walking. As they approached the bedroom, he turned his head to the side and looked at her directly.

"That’s a human story, right?” Bee nodded in response to his question.

“Then why are the characters monsters?"

Bee just chuckled.

"They’re not monsters in the version I was told, silly. I just,” she gestured inanely, “changed around some stuff a little bit."

Gaster’s confusion did not vanish from his face.

"I think that the boys deserve to see monsters in the stories that I tell them. It would suck to only get told human stories, don’t you think?"

Gaster contemplated the idea a little bit, before nodding.

"Interesting. I never would’ve thought of that myself.” He began to unbutton his shirt, while Bee pulled her dress over her head.

'Well, good thing I’m here then.“ The two continued to undress in silence before slipping into comfortable night clothes, and then collapsing in bed.

Gaster held Bee close. He could feel the thumping of her soul. Sleep began to droop in both of their eyes as they settled into bed with eachother.

"Thank god you’re here.” Gaster mumbled into her curly hair as the two drifted off into sleep.

~~~~~~~

Um?? UM?? UMMM????????

THIS IS SO CUTE OMG THANK YOU????

I’m absolutely floored

just

the boys being so curious and analytical

Emmi being such a MOM

their ritual of her retrieving gaster from the lab

the fact that she changed the story so it would be with monsters so the boys could see monsters in a normally human tale?? WHICH IS SOMETHING EMMI WOULD TOTALLY DO?????

11/10 FIVE STARS THIS IS INCREDIBLE THANK YOU SO MUCH

ALSO FANFICTION IS ABSOLUTELY ALLOWED HOLY SMOKES

#OBMPfanfic #gaster #emmibee #sans #papyrus #writing #not my writing #submission #i am flabbergasted #gold stars all around #i love this thank you so so much #the characterization is top notch #i've reread this five times and counting

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afoxysunny · 4 years

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Jives as High Duke

So Jives gets a second pick and oh my G did i struggle with choosing this one. In the end I'm pretty happy with the decision to give him the Monkey Miraculous

The whole story for how he ended up with having to pick a second time is already on the post about Stingy, who gets the Turtle from Jives, so I'll try not to repeat myself too much

So here are the references for this design

This design came out a lot simpler than it probably should be considering that it's based on the Chinese Monkey King but Jives isn't one for overly flashy and elaborate costumes in my opinion

Also, yes, again, his eyey should be blue but making colour changes to coloured pencil drawings is really hard, I'm sorry

Again, i just did what felt natural to me and in no time this was the outcome. Conclusion: drawing Jives comes very natural to me and i appreciate him for that

Design Notes:

Chest Pattern - i wanted to make the chest pattern here resemble the one he had as Grinder Turtle, this was also a big factor that sold me on giving him this Miraculous. I just think it looks really cool and it connects the two designs in a vague sense

Beanie - my boy Jives always wears some sort of hat, this is no exception. The Monkey Miraculous is a Crown and here it blends in so it now replaces the brim section of the beanie. On second thought it might be a little basic to choose a beanie but it just really suits him, i couldn't think of a better fit. Especially because it goes along really well with the headshape of the monkey i based him on

Toque Macaque - I'll be real with you, I'm not a huge fan of monkeys which makes them one of the few animal species i don't love and also makes the biggest reason i wasn't immediately happy to give my dear Jives this Miraculous xD I'm shallow i know. Anyways. I may not know a lot about monkeys but i knew enough to pick this macaque because the colours go well enough with the Monkey Kwami Xuppu and i liked the markings it has. [coicidentally this specific kind, the Toque Macaque, happens to share its natural habitat with the peacock ;)]

Tail - on his back you see how the rope detailing from his chest and pants combine into the belt and eventually the tail. I wanted the markings to kind of resemble a harness for climbing, i don't think it comes across too well though

Hair - the little bit you can still see of his actual hair coincidentally blends in almost seamlessly with the colour of his costume, that wasn't planned but i like it a lot

Reasoning:

At the point in time where i made the decision that Stingy would take the Turtle Miraculous from Jives i already had most Miraculous assigned to most other characters, in fact i was only really missing one for Ziggy. So spoiler alert i guess for him. I fudged around for a while between the Mouse and the Monkey, both would've worked well with either but in the end settled on the Monkey for Jives for multiple stupid timy reasons. For example the chest pattern i already mentioned, my ship-trash side going "a monkey and a peacock fit together way better aesthetically than a mouse and a peacock would", he and Xuppu would have a funny bro dynamic together etc.

Story:

I already explained why and how Jives loses the Turtle Miraculous to Stingy in my post about the latter so I'll just give a short summary here before moving on

As per usual Jives didn't eat much throughout the day and ends up fainting. This time it's a much bigger deal though. Usually he doesn't actually fully faint, just sway a little, maybe collapse but for the most parts he stays conscious just really weakened. That day the team of new heroes is fighting an important battle when he full on passes out in the middle of it. Luckily Stingy is able to step in to build their defense up again.

Obviously, instead of saying "i eat as little as possible because i have a problem" Jives just shrugs it off and goes "guess i didn't eat enough again, my bad guys, sorry" and thinks it'll be fine. He didn't expect Álfurildi, aka Sportacus, to take this very literal and announce that he planned on having them eat in his airship as a whole group anyway gor team moral and to make sure they're all healthy enough to actually handle a Miraculous. They deduce that must have been the reason Jives full on fainted this time, while going by his usual life he obviously didn't need as much energy as he now needs to be a superhero so the simple solution is to just eat more.

He makes excuses to not eat with the others as often as he can but one day he'd have to actively leave the others to do so as he already is in the airship with them when they start preparing to serve the next meal. That day he actually snaps at Sportacus that he just doesn't want to eat. Unfortunately, thanks to being such a gentle soul and also sensing Jives frustration and hunger Sportacus tries to comfort Jives with the worst thing he could've said. "heroes gotta eat well, so you can become big and strong" to which Jives absolutely loses it. He snaps at him "I'm already too big without eating anything, can't you just leave me alone!" and just jumps out of the airship. By now he already has Xuppu as his new partner so of cause he makes it down unharmed to run off into the forest. Sportacus wants to follow him but Robbie stops him. Robbie, who so far was pretty quiet and reclusive when the teens came to visit, says he will go find and talk to him taking Pixel with him as he is his best friend after all.

I'll spare you the unnecessarily details i cane up with and just say this is the moment Robbie gets to explain how the powers i gave him work and we get to see that he does really deeply care but just can't really express it. They find Jives and thanks to Robbie being able to relate to him about some of his insecurities and Pixel being a great friend he ends up confessing to them about his eating disorder. He never wanted to be the odd one out but never managed to fit in with the others. It's hard to hide you're different when you're towering over your peers so he figured if he just stopped eating he'd stop growing and though it had no positive effect on him he just couldn't stop doing it even after realizing how bad it had gotten.

Going back to the airship together once the situation calmed down a bit and with Jives' permission they let Sportacus in on this secret. As Robbie figured, the local health expert knows exactly what foods wouldn't upset such an empty stomach too badly and they start the process of finding a few good things for Jives to eat so he doesn't break down again.

Name:

Quick, something more lighthearted

When Jives gets his second pick for a Miraculous his eyes fall on the little Monkey, Xuppu. The two pretty quickly get along thanks to Xuppu being a jokester and Jives liking how bro-like they can talk and poke fun at each other. This turns out to be a great pick as this Kwami of Jubilation not only like shouting random noises around just like Jives but is also sassy and straightforward enough to remind him to eat every once in a while by poking fun at him using something Pixel once said to him "I'll not let you eat less than the Kwamis" (yes this part should've technically been in the reasoning section but you kinda need the context of the story for it so i put it here)

So Trixie explains that Xuppu's transformation and powers are based on the Chinese Monkey King (she knows that from the Guardians) but Jives really isn't one for flashy costumes and important titles so not only is his costume more basic than it probably should be but also he wamts to name himself "Duke". Stingy immediately objects "A duke is about as royal as a prince! You're completely underselling this concept. You have to trade with me! You get yoir turtle back. Let me be King!" Xuppu and Wayzz look at each other and roll their eyes, Xuppu then steps floats forward to say "well, he's not entirely wrong. Wouldn't you like to pick something higher?" so Jives chuckles and goes "High Duke". Again Stingy is outraged by this disrespect "that's ridiculous!" but Xuppu laughs and says "no, i like his style! Let's do this!" and so their new duo is established

Look, don't judge me, everyone headcanons Jives with growing not all legal things in his garden so now that he's actually a teen in my au I'm keeping it xD

Thank you so so much for reading so much of my rambling. You're so cool for taking the time to read this!

#Lazytown #miraculous ladybug #Lazytown au #Miraculous Lazybug #revive the lazy #jives junkfood #maggi mjói #Xuppu #Eating disorder #mentioned

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suffering-and-happy-about-it · 4 years

Text

Mount Everest Ain’t Got Shit On Us (Fezco x fem!reader, Part 16.) - The Final Problem, Part 2.

Description: You were always told that your life will be as you wish it to be if you’ll study enough. That it will pay off if you work hard. And some people were given you like a scary example of what will happen when you don’t obey. But sometimes it feels good to disobey.

A/N: Inspired by Formula and Nate Growing Up by Labrinth, composed for Euphoria's original soundtrack.

Warnings: PCP usage, sexual harassment, murder, non-depicted death, violence, gun usage

Word count: 2 K

Read the rest here, babe: PART 1 PART 2 PART 3 PART 4 PART 5 PART 6 PART 7 PART 8 PART 9 PART 10 PART 11 PART 12 PART 13 PART 14 PART 15

Masterlist and declaration: H E R E

Tagging: @charmed-asylum, @jeyramarie, @pantherxrogers, @analia-analia-analia

Before you do anything bad for the first time, there's that... Feeling. That sick feeling in your stomach which you can feel, but you can't name.

You know. That feeling before you push your cat with its tail. When you puke in your toilette the first time because you drank for the first time. Before you lit up your first cigarette. Before you take the first pill.

It's anticipation mixed with pure fear of the unknown. That's what it is.

And you never had that feeling before going to Fezco's. You never did - it was always the same neighborhood, same people around and your smiley face who opened up the door. But that night was not only freezing your ass.

That night was different. You could feel it in your bones. It was the car you didn't know in front of his door. You watched it with a frown. You didn't know that car.

Could it be another lady who was visiting your boyfriend? That's why he told you that he can't meet you that night under your window? Bullshit. Fezco wasn't capable of having such a big secret hidden away from you. His soul was too pure for that. But... Who was it then?

You didn't know what to do, so you only sat on your bike, watching his door with an open mouth. You felt like you should turn around on your bike, ride to Rue's and please Leslie if you can have a sleepover. No, you couldn't do that either. Your temple was bleeding and Leslie would ask.

You couldn't tell on Fran to Leslie; she would tell your ma and the hell would start again for Fran.

Jules's house. Yeah. That was probably the right choice. Sneak through the back door to her room. She wouldn't be mad at all, you knew that.

But before you could make a move, you felt as your feet froze as the door to Fezco's apartment slowly opened up. It felt like knocking on hell’s door.

At the moment when your eyes made contact, yours and Fezco's, you could see immediate pain and fear. And you started to freeze down even more. He was shaking his head and mouthed breathless and voiceless 'no'. You didn't have any idea what should you do.

It was two men coming out of his apartment. One with tattoos all over his ugly face, the second one was young with something that could be barely called a beard. Your mind connected two dots immediately - it was the seller. Mouse, as Fez and Ash called him. And then Mouse's eyes fell directly on you, sitting on the bike in the middle of the fucking street without having anything to say or do.

Fez could see your temple bleeding, the blood slowly dropping on your cheeks and then the grey sweatshirt and he knew something must've happened to you - because otherwise, you would respect his wish to be alone. But that situation happening around was just fucked up. Ultimately.

"Oh, bro who dat?" - Mouse asked you with a smile. Jesus, that man was just disgusting when he threw a smile at you. You were not far away from puking at any given moment. But you didn't puke - your body was just still frozen down. - "Sweetcheeks. Girl, ya know 'em?" - He asked. Fez was just shaking his head harder at that moment.

But your body almost automatically nodded.

"Looks like I have to be 'ere longer for sweetcheeks, Fezzy." - He laughed and pointed at you. - "Came 'ere. We'll give yo somethin' warm to drink, right, boyos?" - Mouse laughed in a devilish matter.

“Nah. I'm... I'm good. Thank you, kind mister. I will just go home, I just needed to ask something. It can wait.” - You took a firm hold on your bike. Fezco knew that since Mouse has seen you, he won't let you go so easily. Mouse was a psycho when it came to young girls.

Fez still remembered how did Mouse act around with Rue, but he was seriously worried about this time. Because that was a seriously fucked up situation.

“Oh, sweetcheeks. Happiness can’t fuckin’ wait. Come ’ere, we will give yo some.” - He waved his hand at you, so you slowly walked to the door, locking your bike on the terrace.

Mouse had heard about you - he knew you were Fezco’s girlfriend and he even knew heard that sometimes, you help your boyfriend with delivery service. Nobody knew who told on you - but everybody seemed to be aware. Which was terrifying the fuck out of you.

When you entered the door, Mouse put his hand over you and the only thing you did against it was locking your gaze with Fezco. Your eyes were almost empty, terrified and dead.

“Can you... Um... Lend me something? I'm pretty cold.” - You asked Fezco and he looked at Mouse. It was an unsaid question. You needed that you need to ask as calmly as you could until you could cry in Fezco’s arms. Just as you did at your parent’s house when you find out about his source of money. Mouse agreed with a nod, smacking your ass and laughing out loud.

You froze for a second, but then you ran after Fezco into his room, behind some closed door.

“Yo need to be calm and do as I tell ya, ok?” - Fezco whispered and slowly put his rainbow sweatshirt onto your chest. - “I don't ask ya to. Ya need to listen to me. Or we’re all dead.”

“I didn't mean to...” - You took his cheek to your palm, but Fezco was too nervous to even look at you straight. He didn't want to kiss you when his stomach was about to puke. - “I didn't mean to fuck this up, but Fran pushed me on a fucking cabinet and I didn't know where else I should go. I fucking freaked out.”

“We’ll talk when da fucker is gone.” - Fezco answered and left you all alone. So you put his sweatshirt over your head. He was seriously mad at you - and you could tell that he’s scared. For you or of Mouse? You couldn't tell. But one thing was for sure.

His, Ashe’s and your lives fere threatened by that man in his living room.

When you slowly entered the room, they were in the living room - Fezco and Ash sat on the old sofa where you had first slept and Mouse and his friend were on the opposite one. They weren't talking - they were just watching each other and there was a strong tension in the air.

“I think yo can go now, Custer. Make some space for da youn’ sweetcheeks.” - Mouse smiled at his friend. The only thing you could contrate on was your raising heartbeat and dizziness spinning your head. You looked at Fezco, but he was too occupied watching Custer. - “I think that da little one should go too, Fez. Let adults have some fun, am I right?” - He sat up and lit up a cigarette, offering you one as well. You carefully took one and let him lit up it as well since Fez didn't even look at you.

He was all sweaty as his blue eyes watched Custer standing up. Ash looked at Fez with a frown, but Fez nodded and Ash left - he knew where should he hide and wait if the shit goes down. But Custer had left the flat completely and only three of you were sitting in the living room.

Fezco was sweating the living hell out of him at that point, looking at you. Mouse basically let you sit halfway on the couch and halfway on his lap. You were ready to throw up any minute. As you smoked slowly, you closed your eyes and wished for it to end.

Your boyfriend’s eyes didn't leave Mouse’s hand smoothing your upper thigh up and down, teasing him to snap. But you two knew really well how to act cool when the shit around you was going down.

“How do ya do dat, hm?” - Mouse asked Fez and smelled the right side of your neck.

“Do what?” - Fezco answered back, playing with his knuckles nervously.

“Ya have such nice chicks around. Youn’, beautiful play toys. First dat girl with messy hair, now sweetcheeks... How?” - Mouse laid back, leaving his palm on your upper thigh, marking you as his property. That was riding Fezco wild.

“They are a family. Not toys.” - Fezco mumbled. The blood was boiling inside of him, but your eye contact was telling him that he has to stay calm. That you love him and that you trust him with everything you have.

“Tell whatever ya want.” - Mouse chuckled wickedly and searched his pockets. - “I promised you happiness, didn't I?” - He told when you looked at the small plastic bag in his hand. Oh, you did know what it was - the drugs Fezco sometimes bought when you were over at his place. Those hallucinogens.

“I think I'm good. Thank you.” - You smiled politely and tapped the cigarette out. But no wasn't an answer for Mouse. He caught your upper arms tightly, his grip was hurting you so much that you almost started to cry.

“I think yo want to enjoy a bit, sweetcheeks. Yo boyfriend won't let ya?” - Mouse looked at Fezco and slowly leaned to your ear. You closed your eyes firmly and prayed for him letting you go. You didn't want any of it. Then you slowly opened up your eyes and Fezco wasn't even breathing at the moment. You haven't any idea of what you should do next.

So you took it.

And it was the biggest mistake you have ever done in your life.

It was extremely fast as you slipped down to the world of fuckery, that shit was too strong for a non-addict. And both Mouse and Fezco knew it. But at that moment, Fez failed with protecting you. Your mood wasn't good - so the trip could be barely good either.

You saw some scary bullshit just after a few minutes, you got up, held your head, cried and tried to run away. Huge spiders were coming after you, the floor was slippery under your feet and it was cracking, falling apart. You cried and begged Fezco to help, not having a single idea of what is happening.

A sharp sound muttered your cries as you watched a dead body falling next to you. You saw as the blood was slowly dripping onto the carpet below it and screamed because you felt as your body is slowly being covered in that hot, weird something.

Somebody tried to catch you, to stop you, but you cried out loudly and gripped the door, running away into the freezing night. Somebody was calling out your name, but you heard as if you were under the surface of the water. And you didn't stop until you knew that Mouse is not going to follow you there and until you couldn't hear it anymore.

Your drugged body slowly connected the two dots after a long night - somebody was shot at Fezco’s apartment. There was a fucking dead body. And you felt as your heart dropped, as you fell on your knees and cried even louder than before.

It was Fezco. Fezco was shot down. So you ran further and further away, at least you thought you that you are running even if you were crawling in the mud, slamming and slashing into the buildings, falling down on your knees.

You were running away from all of it - those crazy fucking spiders who after you, from the blood covering your hands, arms and legs, slowly drowning you down, you just ran.

But you were afraid that you won't be able to make it at all.

#rue bennett #rue euphoria #fezco #fezco euphoria #euphoria hbo #euphoria #fez euphoria #fezco x reader #fezco imagine #Mount Everest ain't got shit on us #the final problem part 2.#mouse euphoria #custer euphoria

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thebibliomancer · 5 years

Text

Dark Crystal Age of Resistance ep 2 liveblog

Just a stream of thoughts

Things I don’t want to do again: watch a puppet eat a melancholic breakfast

Ooh snap the podling is Aughra’s housekeeper or something

Wonder why she doesn’t have one in movie times. I mean besides the Skeksis drinking everyone

Aughra: goes right from deep sleep to “OHSHIT I OVERSLEPT AND EVERYTHING IS HORRIBLE FOREVER”

Come to think of it, between this and the power of the dark crystal comics, authority figures taking overlong naps causes more trouble than anything else in this world

Podling housekeeper: immediately tries to give her a hug

Aughra: 'No, none of that!'

Aughra was trying to see the entire universe and is now annoyed that she actually has to do her job now

Oh that’s why she doesn’t have a housekeeper later. She’s kind of a rude boss

Underground elf needs blindfold. She has darkvision and everything is way too bright

Hey how come all the dnds can have both dark and bright vision with no real adjustment time?

It’s a fizzgig!

Deet: “Do you like having your belly rubbed?”

A fizzgig: -immediately rolls over-

Do the gelflings just accept the unwelcome touches and sinister way of talking as Just How Lords Are? The Skeksis don’t really try to act unevil

Chamberlain decides to frame Rian for Mira’s disappearance and hey there’s no forensics that will clear him BECAUSE SHE EXPLODED

Chamberlain: “Gelfling have always believed Chamberlain’s whispers, yes? This is what I do. I plant stories in ground, watch grow into truth.”

So the definition of Chamberlain is “an officer who manages the household of a monarch or noble” but I think in Skeksis culture it’s their word for the office gossip

SkekSil just hanging around by the water cooler with the off-duty guards going ‘hey so i heard cheryl and bob are seeing each other and also I heard Rian killed his girlfriend but how about that game last night? are the referees crooked or what?’

So before the Skeksis had more to hide than usual why was Chamberlain spreading fake news among the Gelfling? Just for shits and giggles?

Oh so this is why the General/future Garthim Master really hates the Chamberlain

Every problem that he ever faces he suggests punching someone’s teeth in and then Chamberlain goes ‘hey here’s a plan that isn’t stupid’ and the Emperor sides with him

Guy just wants to punch teeth and Chamberlain keeps getting in the way

Emperor: ‘I NEED MY SOUL GOO I’M COMING DOWN FROM MY HIGH’

I’m less surprised that the Gelfling became jackbooted thugs after the movie. Tolyn wears that hat gleefully

“Dreamfast with me” oh yeah it’s hard to do a falsely accused plot when someone can just prove their innocence with psychic flashback sharing

Damn the puppetry on that terrifying spider

Deet: ‘Do you want to be friends, terrifying spider?’

Friend to all living thing living underground has not prepared her for dangerous predators

You Tried, Errol Flynn Podling

Deet: -slams podling Hup into spider like a tetherball-

Hup is on the way to meet the high queen gelfling to become the first podling Paladin

Now I have to grapple with learning that Thra has the concept of paladins

And I was just making jokes about Toolah from Beneath the Dark Crystal comic being one earlier today

Librarian: ‘hey I’m sorry for being rude yesterday’

Brea: ‘Can you help me research something?’

Librarian: ‘GTFO MY LIBRARY’

Elder Cadia: ‘I can’t tell you what that symbol means but I CAN get you super high’

Brea does a princess bride drink switch because the super drugs is actually amnesia dust and she’s not down with that

So the weird symbol vision Brea saw either means beginning or ending because Thra is one of those places where anything can mean the opposite thing

Gourmand: “Come out Gelfling! We won’t hurt you.... for long!”

Did... did you really thing that would work?

Apparently the Skeksis have successfully stopped anyone else from seeing the Crystal since they (or the UrSkeks) broke it because Rian gets one look at the Crystal all cracked and darkened and goes ‘well, that ain’t right’

LOCKSNAKE!

I love biotech nonsense

Rian decides to climb down the Crystal pit to sneak into the laboratory and steal the soul goo so he has proof

Just think: if he kept climbing down he would have found out Thra is hollow and has a sun inside and then he would have caught on fire and died

Chamberlain is an expert locksnakepick. Just hypnotize the lock and then EATS IT

Scientist: ‘dammit Chamberlain, stop eating my locks and stealing my goo!’

Rian yoinks

Damn Gurjin you were a true bro

Deet: “I don’t know how other clans go about their lives with three suns hanging over their heads all the time. They’re giant balls of fire! .... What if one falls?” Dammit Deet, you’re a delight

Deet has been following the moon instead of star the whole time because she’s an underground elf and doesn’t understand the sky

“Even a princess is not above the law” yeah but the law sucks, your majesty

Chamberlain: “I deserve to be punished. Flog me, scold me. I am riddled with shame. Such shame” This is a brave strategy, SkekSil. Orrr is this a briar patch thing?

Oh he’s flipping the blame on the Scientist by saying things that are technically true and giving them a bit of a spin

Emperor: “Is this true?”

Scientist: “Ehhhhhhhhhh technically?”

Where did this aptitude for lying go later in life, SkekSil? Where went your skill for wriggling our of trouble?

Annnnyway that’s how Chamberlain talked his own punishment down to the Scientist having his eye eaten by a beetle

And then I guess because he’s feeling like a big dick boy, he immediately tries to pick a fight with the General

Rian’s dad: “Let me hunt down my son. Then I’ll dreamfast with him to see what happened”

Skeksis: ‘OH SHIT DREAMFASTING’

So now Ordon is being sent after Rian which surely won’t backfire horribly. At least they told Ordon not to dreamfast with Rian for Reasons.

Aughra: “I must find what happened in my absence. I could ask the Mystics! ... No, no I don’t have time for riddles”

So instead she’s off to go chat with the Skeksis. Everything really is impressively imploding on the Skeksis in terms of people having serious questions of them

Nooo SkekTec your beautiful yellow eye

Actually based on the mentioned needler and tail dangler it sounds like the Skeksis really want to fuck each other up. It is a wonder they lasted so long without killing each other

And a wonder that the General bypassed all the mutilation when he beat Chamberlain for new Emperor in the movie and went right to making him naked and throwing him out of his house to do the walk of shame exile

#dark crystal #dark crystal age of resistance #liveblog #episode 2

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theforbiddenfruitily · 5 years

Text

likes me / likes me not

pairing: yoonkook, side vmin rating: e words: 10.7k tags that aren’t actually tags: makeup/nail artist jungkook, humor, fluff, smut, mutual pining, sexual & romantic tension, pigeons for some reason, yoongi has tattoos for purely self-indulgent reasons

for cypherkooks ♡

summary:

“i don’t know what you’re talking about,” yoongi says elusively.

“hyung,” taehyung sighs, “you literally come here to hold hands with the pretty nail artist.”

“what are you doing here,” yoongi says bluntly when he finds kim taehyung hanging out with some pigeons outside his apartment on a cloudy saturday afternoon at exactly 3:05 PM.

“good afternoon, hyung, so nice to see you too, i’m good, thank you, how are you?” taehyung rattles off, and yoongi rolls his eyes as he nudges the door shut behind him. he buries his hands into the pockets of his embroidered leather jacket and skips down the stairs, taehyung casually awaiting him down the courtyard. “your text said you were going to the beauty salon today. so here i am, ready to rock’n’roll.”

“yeah,” yoongi knits his brows, “that wasn’t an invitation?”

“oh, i know,” taehyung says in a pointed tone as he falls into step beside yoongi, “because you never invite me. why do you never invite me, hyung? i thought i was your best friend. yet here you are. ditching me weekly to go drink margaritas on a poolside with cucumber slices over your eyes and five fit dudes massaging your feet.”

yoongi glances at him incredulously.

“do you think that’s what happens in a beauty salon?” then, “why would it take five dudes to massage my feet?”

“i don’t know why it takes five dudes to massage your feet,” taehyung says, “because you never ask me to come with you.”

yoongi groans quietly.

“i didn’t think you’d be interested?” he offers.

“in self-care?” taehyung asks in the driest tone known to man, and, fair.

“maybe it’s one of those things that i’d rather do alone,” yoongi tries again, “me time?”

“your idea of me time is downing a bottle of whiskey while watching reruns of home renovation shows and then sending all of your friends long-winded messages where you go into detail telling them why you love them,” taehyung remarks as they stop at a red light. he looks at yoongi, and pokes him in the arm with an index finger. “i know you, hyung. i know when something’s up. i know you have a specific reason for always going alone. a secret reason. i’m also pretty sure i know what it is, and i’m here to confirm my suspicion.”

“what are you talking about,” yoongi sighs, “it’s really not that deep.” taehyung makes an unconvinced sound. the feeling of his eyes on the side of his face is unnerving, and yoongi shifts uneasily, pretends like he isn’t sweating under the leather jacket. “since you’re coming, you should decide what you want in case they take walk-ins. they do manicures, facials, hair, makeup. pretty much everything.”

“do they do feet stuff?” taehyung inquires, and yoongi makes a face at him.

“yes, but please don’t call it that.”

the bell on the door chimes gently. the scent of fresh shampoo and essential oils rolls over him in a wave, drowning him in a good way.

“damn, it smells good,” taehyung mumbles as he trails in after yoongi. “and i smell like pigeons, oh my god.”

“i really doubt you smell like pigeons,” yoongi comments, sparing a glance back over his shoulder, “but, dude, you have to stop feeding the pigeons in my yard. it’s technically not allowed and they’ve started acting real bold. in the last tenant meeting, the lady with all the hats complained about ‘intimidating pigeon behavior’.”

taehyung pshhs. “the lady with all the hats complains about everything. my pigeons only intimidate those who deserve it. they can see into your soul.” after a beat, he adds: “she’s got cool hats though.”

“yeah,” yoongi says distractedly as he surveys the space. everything’s located on a single floor; a few of the hair and makeup stations are busy. yoongi’s become quite friendly with a couple of the hairdressers here; hoseok, who’s currently buzzing some girl’s undercut, and—

“welcome—ah, yoongi. not letting your drunk friends cut your hair again, i hope?” park jimin, forever reminding him of the time he let seokjin cut his hair with kitchen scissors and had to have jimin do damage control. jimin seems to have sort of assumed seokjin must have been drunk because of how fucked up his hair was. he’d been completely sober and on top of that claimed he’d done a fantastic job. jimin eyes yoongi from behind the reception desk, chin propped up on the heel of his palm, mouth curving into a lazy smirk. “you’re here for jungkook, right? he’s keeping you all to himself, lately.”

“my hands happen to be very important for my work,” yoongi says mildly. “my hands are insured for two million dollars.”

“wow, jungkook’s a lucky guy, getting to exclusively enjoy such expensive hands,” jimin grins.

“here’s a glimpse,” yoongi says as he flips him off. jimin laughs delightedly, tipping his face towards the ceiling, eyes squeezing into tiny lines.

“jungkook will be with you soon,” jimin promises, fixing his hair by shoving fingers through it, and then dances around the desk not unlike a beam of moonlight or some semi-real faery creature. he stops with a hand on his hip, and gives an intrigued glance at taehyung. “and who’s this?”

yoongi waits for taehyung to introduce himself for three full seconds before realizing it’s not going to happen. he turns to him with a raised eyebrow; turns out taehyung is busy staring at jimin like jimin is the headlights of a sexy truck and taehyung is a gay deer in the middle of the road. ah. yoongi should’ve anticipated this. jimin tends to have this effect on people. he kind of had an effect on yoongi, when he first met him, but thank god that only lasted for about two seconds and then yoongi realized the thing jimin makes him feel is not lust but some repressed primeval rage. and, well. then he met—

“kim taehyung,” taehyung blurts, jolting out of his trance. “is… my name. has been, for twenty-three years. hello. how are you. i’m single.”

yoongi’s mouth falls slightly open as he looks at taehyung. then he looks at jimin, who looks vaguely amused but mostly just enchanted.

“pleasure to meet you, taehyung, my name is jimin,” jimin murmurs, and something about the way he’s smiling at taehyung is making yoongi feel like he really shouldn't be here. “can i do something for you today?”

taehyung takes a deep breath.

“not to sound creepy or inappropriate,” he says very calmly, “but you can do anything you want to me.”

“oh, my god,” yoongi whispers.

“yoongi-hyung,” a bright voice calls from across the room, and yoongi immediately thinks, oh, thank god, while another, just as prominent part of him goes, oh, no.

jungkook is a beam of light and a set of offensive body proportions across the room. yoongi feels instantly a little bit warmer, feels a whole bunch of prickly fluttery things at the mere sight of him. jungkook’s grinning at him, and yoongi can’t help but smile back, can never help; he ducks his face, rubbing at the helix of his ear for no reason, and the thing is that he’s aware how disgustingly obvious his crush is to someone like taehyung who’s known him since grade school.

somehow, though, the stars aligned. the gods decided to favor yoongi. park jimin decided to exist. taehyung is oblivious to everything that isn’t jimin, in the process of repeatedly running his hands through taehyung’s hair. taehyung looks like he might pass out. yoongi decides it’s time to leave. he gives a small smile and a wave to hoseok on his way to jungkook.

he’s observed everyone here has their own style when it comes to physical contact. hoseok hugs each of his clients before and after like he’s known them for twenty years. jimin goes for the hand-clasp shoulder-bump thing.

jungkook and him—they bump fists. yoongi recognizes they’re like one step away from calling each other bro, which is hilariously sad on many levels. he sort of likes it, though. it’s like easing into the amount of touching that would occur in the next hour.

“your friend?” jungkook inquires with a nod past yoongi’s shoulder after rapping his knuckles against yoongi’s.

“at least he invades my home on a regular basis and eats all my food,” yoongi shrugs, “so like, a pest or a best friend. he’s also in cahoots with all the pigeons residing in the vicinity of my building.”

“oh, my god,” jungkook wheezes as he leads the way to his corner of the shop, “i’ve never heard a real person say in cahoots before, hyung, what are you?”

“i know you think i’m cool,” yoongi only says, and more sees than hears jungkook laughing, his shoulders shaking.

jungkook’s nail studio is its own secluded area in the salon. there are no walls or doors but there are screens and abundant houseplants to give a sense of privacy.

jungkook listens to the most infuriating, least relaxing music in the world. bass-boosted edm and justin bieber remixes. yet yoongi honestly, genuinely doesn’t hate it.

that’s a pretty good indication of how deeply fucked he is.

right now there’s some top 40 list playing on the bluetooth speakers as yoongi shrugs off his jacket and drapes it over the back of the chair. gives himself a quick once-over in the mirror on the wall, roughing up his black hair. the black t-shirt hangs loosely off his frame, in contrast with the bright red of the old school roses barely peeking out of the neckline and sleeves. so maybe it was on purpose. jungkook said he liked his tattoos.

be it the tattoos, be it his outfit, be it something else—as he turns, he catches the tail end of what was jungkook’s eyes on him. he watches jungkook busy his hands with his tools; in his mind, picks petals off a daisy: he was checking me out / it’s wishful thinking; i’m not reading this wrong / i’m imagining it.

jungkook gives him a smile as he sits down cross-legged across from him, and places his hands palm-up on the table between them as if he were about to predict yoongi’s future.

“let’s get it,” he says purely because he knows yoongi hates it.

“why do i come here,” yoongi says dryly.

“‘cause i’m amazing at what i do,” jungkook says without a hint of irony, “give me your hands.”

yoongi licks his lips, slowly lowers his hands into jungkook’s.

“before you say anything—”

“ah, hyung,” jungkook scolds, “stop gnawing on your finger.”

“sorry, sorry,” yoongi snorts, and then falls silent as jungkook carefully strokes along the chewed edge of his thumb. can’t take his eyes off the delicate sweep of his eyelashes against his cheeks.

“you’ve been stressed,” jungkook says. a statement, not a question. he spends enough time with yoongi’s hands to be able to read certain things from them.

he knows that when yoongi is stressed and worried, he bites his thumbnail down to nothing. knows the remnants of old nail polish mean he’s been too busy and overworked to get rid of it and do his nails properly. knows ink stains on his fingers mean he’s writing again.

it is sort of like having his palms read, that way.

“had some trouble with a track,” yoongi murmurs as jungkook wipes his hands down with sanitizing wipes. “it worked out, though.”

“a track… for a new mixtape?” jungkook glances up, eyes bright. yoongi’s heart leaps in his chest.

“maybe,” he hums, tries to suppress a smile. jungkook makes a pleased noise as he reaches for the nail polish remover pads.

“i love your stuff, hyung,” he chats, “i really do. and so do others. i played your song here. um, so far away? and my client asked who it was. she said she’d check you out.”

“oh,” yoongi breathes. is a little bit speechless. navigates through a maze of feelings, and after a minute, comes out with: “see, you do think i’m cool.” what he means is thank you. is pretty sure jungkook can hear it.

“i think agust d is cool,” jungkook says with a sly grin. “min yoongi is the type to say in cahoots with pigeons.”

yoongi rasps out a laugh.

“yeah, okay, that’s fair.”

jungkook smiles in that endearing, uneven way, his front teeth poking out. yoongi swallows, his smile muting into a soft close-mouthed thing as he averts his gaze to their hands.

“so, how are you, otherwise?” jungkook asks as he works. his hands are always gentle and warm and soft, and yoongi thinks he might be slightly addicted to them. or maybe—just jungkook. he makes yoongi feel so at ease and so tight-wired all at once, like there’s dormant fire beneath his skin.

sometimes he only lathers yoongi’s hands in soap water and scrub that smells really good and massages the exhaustion out of them. sometimes he goes all out in the nail art department and does the most beautiful, intricate designs out of the vaguest, most unhelpful prompts from yoongi. (maybe something, uh, like, dark blue? got him the entire fucking night sky, complete with constellations and the wisp of aurora borealis. another time he said flowers but make it punk and jungkook gave him the life cycle of a rose from his pinkies to his thumbs.)

sometimes they carry an easy-flowing conversation for an hour and sometimes jungkook senses yoongi would rather not talk, and works quietly or humming along to a song while yoongi watches on the brink of falling asleep with his knees drawn to his chest and his face tucked into his knees.

this time, yoongi tells him a little bit about the projects he’s working on, then his trip to daegu to see his dog last week which gets them sidetracked for a minute because jungkook demands to see pictures and yoongi’s never going to not show someone pictures of holly when they ask; least of all jungkook. yoongi’s pretty sure it’s actually illegal to deny things from him when his eyes are shining like that.

“you look really happy when you talk about your dog,” jungkook grins, “ah, hyung, your smile—”

likes me / likes me not

“my smile is what,” yoongi prompts, barely louder than a whisper when jungkook doesn’t finish.

“c’mon,” jungkook huffs, face tipped downwards, but yoongi can see the small smile pulling at his mouth. “you know. you’re just looking for an ego boost.”

“i don’t read minds, jungkook-ah,” yoongi arches an eyebrow. jungkook rolls his eyes slightly.

“terrible,” he says, still not looking at him. the tips of his ears look slightly red. “just terrible, your smile.”

“is it, now,” yoongi says quietly, heartbeat thrumming in his ears.

“yes,” jungkook says very resolutely, biting down on his bottom lip. finally glances up at yoongi; stares him down for a couple of seconds, looks almost conflicted. then he stands up so fast yoongi nearly snaps his neck following the movement. “i’m out of hand lotion,” he murmurs, the tip of his tongue darting out to wet his lips. “i’ll go get more. just a second.”

he slips out like a river. yoongi releases the breath he didn’t realize he was holding.

he was blushing / it was the lights; he finds me attractive / he’s just nice because it’s his job.

“ha!” someone whisper-shouts, and yoongi jumps, curses roughly under his breath. taehyung’s poking his head in behind some houseplants. his head that is covered with a see-through plastic cap.

“dude,” yoongi says, “did you run away in the middle of getting your hair dyed?”

“i knew it,” taehyung announces, swooping in and pointing a finger at yoongi. yoongi spreads his hands to indicate he has no idea what he’s being accused of. taehyung stops directly in front of him. “i knew you looked less i’ve had this eye makeup on for a week straight and more sexy grunge goth vampire on the days you had an appointment.”

“i don’t know what you’re talking about,” yoongi says elusively.

“hyung,” taehyung sighs, “you literally come here to hold hands with the pretty nail artist.”

yoongi feels a flush creeping onto his face. his eyes dart past taehyung as if expecting jungkook to materialize behind him in that second. obviously taehyung is not wrong, but he doesn’t have to be so loud about it—not when he has no idea which petal is the true one and is testing waters, is honestly content with nothing ever happening because jungkook is more than yoongi’s feelings of attraction towards him.

“shut up before i cram this entire thing of cotton balls down your throat,” he hisses.

“you’re threatening me with cotton, hyung,” taehyung shakes his head, “cotton. even your hypothetical attempts on my life are soft.”

he flinches when yoongi dips his fingers into the bowl of soap water and splashes him.

“begone, demon.”

“your attempts are futile,” taehyung narrows his eyes, “that’s lavender-scented soap water, of the ordinary unholy kind. why won’t you go for it, hyung? jimin said jungkook’s a great person. jimin said lots of things, actually.” he knits his brows thoughtfully. “damn, he did not hesitate to spill his long time friend’s secrets to a guy he just met.” he pauses. “i might be in love with him.”

“congratulations,” yoongi says, “and it’s not like that. he doesn’t—i’m just a client. i’m literally paying him to—”

“jimin knew you had tattoos on your back,” taehyung cuts him off, and yoongi freezes. “he knew because jungkook knew. there are two things we can draw from that. one: at some point, you were here shirtless, showing jungkook your tattoos, probably because he asked. two: he was thinking about it enough to talk to jimin about it, probably along the lines of oh my god, jimin, he has tattoos, he’s perfect, what am i gonna do, he’s so fucking hot—”

“kinda sounds like it’s you who thinks i’m hot?”

“please,” taehyung says, unfazed. “i’m an actor. i can easily adopt people’s mindsets and become them. and i also think you’re hot, on a good day. i have no problem admitting that.” yoongi’s feeling pretty defeated at this point. taehyung tilts his head and gives him an intrusive stare. “i can’t believe you took off your shirt for him and you still think he only sees you as a client. do you think he just does that with everyone?”

“alright, sherlock,” yoongi bites, “get out before—”

“taehyung-ssi?”

of course jungkook is standing right there behind taehyung eyeing him quizzically and yoongi has no idea if he heard that. he buries his face into his hand as taehyung spins around.

“ah, good,” taehyung says, clapping his hands together, “i’m here to invite you both to jimin and i’s wedding. may fifteen, 2025. yes that’s seven years from now because i am unemployed and cannot burden jimin with supporting us and our five children alone. also we met like half an hour ago.”

“yep,” yoongi says lifelessly.

“children?” jungkook asks blankly.

“my five blue-tongued skinks,” taehyung elaborates, touching his fingertips to his chest, “but we’re going to share custody, obviously. so. may fifteen, 2025. save the date.”

he shoots finger guns at both of them and slaps jungkook’s shoulder on his way out. yoongi pretends not to see him in the entryway miming something potentially inappropriate. it’s hard to tell because it’s a lot of violent pointing and incomprehensible facial expressions.

“well,” jungkook laughs quietly as he comes to sit back down, “i’m happy for them. i think jimin really likes him, too.”

“they’d go well together, i think,” yoongi hums low, eyes carefully following jungkook’s movements, desperately trying to determine if he heard something, if he’s aware, at this point, that yoongi thinks about him too much, likes everything about him, likes even the parts he hates, like his terrible song choices and embarrassing catchphrases, and when yoongi took his shirt off for him and felt his fingers trace the flowers on his shoulder blades, he felt like an entire meadow, felt it blooming everywhere, everywhere, with every heartbeat a new flower pushing through his skin.

likes me / likes me not

he wants to ask so badly, but instead he’s talking about jimin and taehyung, pretending like the question isn’t hanging on the tip of his tongue. instead he’s saying, “taehyung is… pretty much the most amazing person in the world. and i’m sure i could learn to tolerate jimin.”

and jungkook is not saying whether he knows these things about yoongi. instead he’s massaging the hand lotion into yoongi’s skin with care, huffing out a soft laugh. “i know you guys like each other, even if you pretend you don’t.”

yoongi makes a noncommittal sound. jungkook’s hands on yoongi’s are warm and soft and slow, slower, until they are not moving at all. he’s staring down at his own hands covering one of yoongi’s, and yoongi is staring at his face, breath held captive in his lungs, heart skipping beats left and right.

“hyung,” jungkook says, and yoongi sees him swallow, his fingers curling against yoongi’s hand for the briefest moment. jungkook lifts his face, looks at him with his eyes wide and starry. “can i do your makeup sometime?”

yoongi blinks. once, twice. he couldn’t have anticipated that.

“you want to do my makeup?”

jungkook clutches at his hand and nods timidly.

“really want to. been thinking about it for a while. been thinking about… this one look on you. and if you let me, i’d like to try it. you don’t have to pay me, obviously, since you didn’t book it.”

“you don’t do makeup here, do you?”

jungkook shakes his head. “not professionally. i have a flat upstairs? i do makeup for my friends there sometimes.”

“—sure,” yoongi says after a moment of processing, all in vain because he’s still stuck on been thinking about this one look on you. “yeah. why not.”

jungkook exhales softly.

“yeah?”

“yeah,” yoongi confirms with a nod. jungkook’s fingertips are still gently touching him. “when do you want to do it?”

“you’re my last appointment today,” jungkook says, teeth sinking into his bottom lip briefly, “are you on a tight schedule?”

yoongi hangs out in the front of the shop while jungkook closes up, spinning around in one of the empty salon chairs, annoying hoseok and not thinking about going up to jungkook’s apartment. he hasn’t figured out how to achieve either of those things yet, but hoseok has to have a limit, and focusing on finding it helps with the second part. his natural target was jimin, but jimin’s nowhere to be seen. neither is taehyung, who hasn’t replied to yoongi’s text telling him to leave without him.

“oh, yeah, that was weird,” hoseok furrows his brow while snipping at a pixie cut. “he said he was going to show jimin his lizard, and then they disappeared. i haven’t seen them since, so i’m guessing… lizard is a euphemism for something else.”

“oh, no, he means his actual lizard,” yoongi says in an enlightened tone, tipping his head back against the backrest. “he’s showing jimin pictures of his lizards somewhere. and he’s got five. so it’s going to take some time to go through each of their backstories, personalities, and future plans.”

“ah,” hoseok says, staring at yoongi with his brow still creased. yoongi figures he’s not a fan of reptiles. he then spins the scissors in his fingers with practiced ease, and flips them into the tool belt on his hip. hoseok is one of those people who can be openly scared shitless of most things in the world and still appear effortlessly cool. “you’re waiting for kook, right?”

“...yeah,” yoongi says, warily glancing up at hoseok. he doesn’t say anything, but there’s a subtle hint of a smirk on his face. yoongi spins away from him.

“hey,” comes hoseok’s voice, firm but gentle, and yoongi makes his way back around. hoseok’s combing slender fingers through the client’s hair and applying hairspray, but his eyes are on yoongi, a funny look on his face. “i know you’re a good guy,” he begins, and pauses. yoongi waits, confused, not sure if he should thank him. “i know you’re a good guy, and it’s not really even my place to give you the whole speech, but still… jungkook’s like family. and, just, uh. be good to him?”

yoongi blinks up at him for several seconds. he opens his mouth twice before sound comes out.

“he’s just… going to do my makeup.”

“hmm. i see,” hoseok says, completely unmoved. “i think you should still remember that, just in case. i know 37 ways to kill a man with scissors and make it look like an accident.”

yoongi thinks maybe he doesn’t want to annoy hoseok anymore.

by the time jungkook comes out, his bag slung over his shoulder and keys jangling in one fist, yoongi has quite successfully mastered not thinking about him or his apartment because he’s now just thinking about hoseok stabbing him to death with barber scissors. he gets up, rubbing at the back of his neck, and jungkook gives him a gentle smile.

“ready?” yoongi’s already turned his back so he doesn’t see them, but hears jungkook mumble to hoseok the same thing yoongi said: “i’m just going to do his makeup.”

“you guys have fun with that,” hoseok says like he’s holding back a laugh. when jungkook breezes past yoongi and shoulders the door open for him, he looks faintly pink.

“you don’t have a jacket?” yoongi notices.

“we’re only going one door down,” jungkook says, “seems redundant.”

and he really shoves the key into the more plain-looking door next to the beauty salon, but yoongi still wants to give him his jacket with the way the hairs on his forearms stand up.

they trudge up two narrow staircases. the building looks fairly old and doesn’t smell like the shop downstairs; it smells more like setting powder and mild perfume. as yoongi hangs back and waits for jungkook to unlock his door, he realizes he’s nervous. of course he’s nervous. he’s liked jungkook for ages and he’s now alone at his apartment and they are going to be physically closer than they’ve ever been.

“sorry if it’s a bit messy,” jungkook murmurs, letting yoongi in, “um, make yourself at home? i’m just going to change out of work clothes quickly—do you want something to drink?”

yoongi nurses a glass of water by the kitchen counter as jungkook disappears into the bathroom, and scans over the room. it’s a small studio apartment, but plenty of space for one person; it has a high ceiling, lots of windows, and a classic french vibe with the decorative wrought iron balcony railing. yoongi can see jungkook’s personal touch and the resemblance to his studio; succulents on his bedside table, a shelf of music, half-burned candles and the remnants of a sweet vanilla scent. the only part that is messy is the makeup desk by the far right wall.

yoongi instantly loves it. but he also feels like he’s stepped into some very private part of jungkook’s soul, and is afraid of touching anything.

jungkook comes out of the bathroom—he’s changed into a plain white t-shirt, the front tucked into his jeans. he wears dark shades at the shop—for nail polish stains, he told yoongi—but light looks good on him. really, really good.

“you should wash off your makeup,” jungkook says, and yoongi realizes he’s very much staring. he bites his lips, turns to set his glass on the counter.

“sure.”

jungkook left him a face wash and a towel in the bathroom, and yoongi gets rid of the subtle makeup on his face, the black around his eyes. taehyung was right. he does put a little more effort in on days he sees jungkook.

he rakes a hand through his damp bangs and tries to decide how weird he’ll look to jungkook without makeup. it’s not that yoongi thinks he looks bad bare-faced. just different. more… well, bare, in every sense of the word.

jungkook’s organizing his myriad things on the desk, and it looks considerably neater already. he looks up at yoongi when he exits; just looks, his mouth slightly open like he just forgot to close it. then he snaps out of it, eyes flitting to the desk and back to yoongi.

“good, um. sit down please?”

yoongi lowers himself into the desk chair next to jungkook’s stool, feet planted on the floor instead of instinctively lifting off the surface like usually and that may be visual proof of how nervous he is. their knees knock together when jungkook shifts, chooses a moisturizer from the products on the desk.

“i like your place,” yoongi murmurs. jungkook gives him a small but genuine smile.

“thank you. i used to live here with jimin, if you can believe it. back when we were just starting out at the shop. all this tiny space.”

“yeah?” yoongi hums, watches jungkook dispense moisturizer on his fingers. “what was that like?”

“probably exactly what you’re picturing,” jungkook snickers softly. “you good to go?”

“kinda self-conscious,” yoongi admits, shoulders jerking as he breathes a laugh, a shy gummy smile directed at jungkook’s collar bones.

“don’t be,” jungkook says, and when yoongi glances up, he’s watching him unexpectedly intense and serious, with something indescribable and sincere. he swallows, adds quietly: “you look good. you always look good, hyung.”

when he says it, yoongi believes him.

his heart hammers restlessly as jungkook leans closer, hands hovering up to his face, tells him he’ll start with moisturizer. yoongi closes his eyes just so that he doesn’t have to watch jungkook watching him.

“let’s get it,” jungkook mumbles as he gently pats down the moisturizer, and yoongi laughs despite himself.

jungkook goes through the steps meticulously. his hands are still gentle and warm and soft as he applies the base makeup, and yoongi mostly keeps his eyes closed. it’s nice in a way where it also hurts; just how gentle he is with yoongi and how he tenderly brushes his hair out of the way. it makes yoongi’s chest overflow painfully.

“i’ve been thinking about what kind of makeup i want to do for you.” jungkook’s voice is a soothing low murmur. it makes him feel like he’s dreaming. “your face is—it’s—intriguing. it’s… captivating. it’s very… it’s soft and sharp at the same time, you know? so i want to… emphasize that softness and sharpness. i want to do something… delicate. a soft plum smokey eye and a bit of a wing. shimmery highlighter. rose pink lip tint.”

“sounds like you know what you’re doing,” yoongi mumbles, “i trust you. make me pretty.”

“because that’s, like, a challenge,” jungkook mutters. yoongi cracks his eyes open as jungkook’s hands leave his face—he only has time to kind of see jungkook, jungkook with that look in his eyes, faint red blossoming on his cheekbones—”close your eyes,” he tells yoongi, the words tumbling from his mouth in a hurry, “i’m gonna do your eye makeup.” only saw him briefly, but the image sticks to the backs of his eyelids, sends his heart running. his nails curl into his palms on his thighs.

he thinks i’m pretty / doesn’t mean he wants me like that

jungkook shifts closer. yoongi doesn’t see him but he hears and feels him. his leg is slotted in between yoongi’s, yoongi’s knee pressing up against the inside of his thigh. feels him hover, feels his fingertips gently ghost against his brow to move his hair; he’s pretty sure he shivers, and prays to whoever’s listening that it’s not noticeable. feels the feathery bristles of the brush on his eyelid. so, so careful and yoongi can’t stand it.

jungkook doesn’t say much as he does yoongi’s eyes; it requires concentration, yoongi supposes. as he’s applying the winged eyeliner, a couple of soft, frustrated grunts escape his throat, though, and a smile rises to yoongi’s face, slow and silent like the moonrise because he doesn’t want to fuck up his work.

“god, hyung,” jungkook whispers, so quietly yoongi almost thinks he imagined it. jungkook doesn’t elaborate. breathes in, and leans away; yoongi can somehow feel him leaving his perimeter. “open your eyes.”

yoongi opens them slow. blinks languidly at their knees still slotted, adjusting to light. jungkook is waiting for him to look up so he does. jungkook, for a moment, doesn’t say anything. stares at him, wide-eyed, lips parted, as if he’s been put under a spell.

“hyung,” is all he says, “fuck.”

yoongi subtly raises his eyebrows.

“i, um, i’ll just.” jungkook turns towards the desk and manages to knock a bunch of things over. “don’t look yet! let me just finish.”

yoongi doesn’t close his eyes this time when jungkook swipes shimmering powder highlighter on his cheekbones, the bridge of his nose, and his cupid’s bow, or when he takes the lip tint, touches fingertips to yoongi’s jaw, murmurs, part your lips. he keeps a careful hold of yoongi’s jaw, his eyes carefully fixed on yoongi’s mouth, and he’s so close yoongi can see every beautiful detail of his face and the warm flush standing out fiercely against the white of his shirt.

yoongi wants to kiss him. really badly.

“can i be honest?” jungkook asks suddenly, his tone low and quiet. it’s probably a rhetorical question, but yoongi makes a short affirmative sound. “i wanted to do your makeup since the day i saw you. from the moment you walked in—it was so hard not to look at you.” he’s still holding the applicator to yoongi’s bottom lip, but yoongi doesn’t think he’s doing much with it. “you—your face, your hands, everything about you... is so pretty.” yoongi watches the tip of his tongue glide across his bottom lip. “your voice, your music. your tattoos. you... drive me insane, hyung. and it’s not only…” he lowers the lip tint, but still stares at the same spot on his mouth. “when you walked in, i thought, maybe he’s an asshole—not that i thought you were, but that would’ve been… easier for me. but you weren’t, you weren’t at all, you turned out to be… you, the kindest, softest...” he breathes in, and finally meets yoongi’s eyes—his brow twitches, almost as if he were in pain. “i don’t do that with everyone.”

yoongi can barely remember how to speak.

“what?”

“i don’t just ask people to show me their tattoos, i don’t ask to touch them like that, oh my god, hyung—”

yoongi hooks a hand around the back of his neck, pulls him in, and kisses him.

eyes closed, just the press of their lips, until yoongi eases his grip slightly, and ventures a tiny tentative movement against him. jungkook’s lips, like his hands, are soft—

the lip tint clatters somewhere on the floor. jungkook makes a tiny sound, and only a second later, he’s kissing yoongi back fervently, so hard it almost hurts.

“oh,” yoongi breathes, jungkook’s fingers clinging onto his shirt front and digging into his thigh.

“yoongi,” jungkook says like a plea. oh, yoongi thinks again, and pulls him back in, his heart beating out of his chest. holds his face in both hands and kisses him properly, or as properly as he can with jungkook so eager, crashing into him first like a wave and then like rain, coming down on him ceaselessly and with abandon, making yoongi dizzy with every kind of want. he pries his lips apart with his own, licks into his hot mouth, and the sheer noise jungkook makes is enough to make heat coil in his belly.

“fuck, jungkook,” he groans into his mouth, “fuck, what the fuck, are you serious—”

“what do you mean am i serious,” jungkook laughs, but it’s half breathless gasps. he pulls back to look yoongi in the eye, and fuck, he looks beautiful, looks like a mess already, his pupils blown, his mouth swollen and red—an imprint of yoongi’s lip tint probably somewhere on it. “i’ve liked you since forever, how could i not—i was trying to muster up the courage to ask you out for coffee, this isn’t really—how i meant for it to happen—”

“we can do that,” yoongi agrees hurriedly, only sort of processing what he’s saying, “coffee, yes, let’s do that—but can i kiss you more now? really wanna kiss you more—”

“yes, yes please,” jungkook breathes, and then his mouth is back on yoongi’s. jungkook kisses with the intensity and heat of a thousand burning suns, and it’s the best fucking thing that’s ever happened to yoongi, even if he thinks it might kill him. he thinks he knows how icarus felt for the first time in his life.

jungkook’s trying to tug him close, but the chairs and their legs are in all the wrong places, and after some frustrated fumbling, jungkook pulls away again, their mouths separating with a wet sound; looks at yoongi with dark eyes, panting, and before yoongi can make himself form words to ask him what he’s doing and why he isn’t kissing him, jungkook mumbles, hold on, and leans further back. at first yoongi thinks he’s asking yoongi to wait; then it occurs to him he might also be literally asking him to hold on, because jungkook draws his knee up towards his chest, the sole of his foot aimed at the edge of the chair between yoongi’s legs, and breaking into a blinding grin at the last second, kicks yoongi across the room.

the chair rolls to the far wall, gradually slowing down until it’s not so much a collision as it is a gentle bump.

yoongi is astonished.

his mouth falls open first; then a single disbelieving laugh punches out of his throat. jungkook follows after him in unhurried strides, still grinning wide—but as he comes closer, it morphs into something slightly different, something that makes yoongi close his mouth and swallow. he allows his gaze to trail down and back up jungkook’s lean body, his teeth unconsciously sinking into his bottom lip as he locks eyes with him. jungkook’s eyes are magnetic and dark and his smile is almost a contradiction, close-mouthed and pretty, and yoongi reaches for him automatically.

“you,” he huffs, and sounds absolutely gone for him but doesn’t even care right now, “you’ll pay for that.”

“yeah?” jungkook grins. yoongi’s hand finds his waist, and without hesitation, jungkook climbs into his lap, knees on either side of him, forearms bracketing yoongi’s head on the backrest. yoongi sucks in a breath; with his eyes never leaving jungkook’s, wraps his arms around his middle, palms traveling firm and slow across his ribs and the expanse of his back over his shirt, feeling how he fits into his arms, feeling his lithe body respond to his touch. “hyung,” jungkook gasps, apple red mouth parted.

“kiss me,” yoongi asks quietly, and jungkook surges down, kisses almost like he’s angry, deep and thorough and bruising, hands sliding into yoongi’s hair and tugging just enough to make him groan, make him tighten his hands around jungkook’s waist. jungkook’s thighs slide farther apart until he’s fully seated in yoongi’s lap, heavy and solid against him, and yoongi makes a pained noise, fists the back of his shirt. he tugs at jungkook’s bottom lip with his teeth, drawing a soft whimper from him, and it pours down his throat like hot liquid, pools in the pit of his stomach. “fuck, jungkook,” he manages, and jungkook makes a sound somewhere between a sigh and a moan.

“touch me more,” he whispers, arching in his touch, “touch me more, please, yoongi—”

yoongi is more than happy to comply. slips his hands under his shirt, splays fingers across his back, his hot-running skin and the hard muscles. jungkook feels so good, his ridiculous tiny waist fitting into yoongi’s hands perfectly; jungkook, he mumbles into his mouth in some kind of awe, and jungkook moans, fingers tangled in yoongi’s hair and clinging to his shoulder, dipping under his neckline. yoongi drags nails up his abdomen, feels the muscles constrict, and he wants more, wants to see—

“can i take this off you?” he whispers, and jungkook wastes no time sitting back to pull the shirt over his head, giving yoongi no time to prepare whatsoever. suddenly he’s got a lapful of half-naked jungkook, and yoongi knew he was hot, but this is just—this is outrageous.

“oh,” he says, strained, and clutches at jungkook’s hips as though hanging on for dear life, “warn a guy, jesus christ, jungkook—”

“are you angry at my abs?” jungkook asks breathlessly, laughter in his voice, and yoongi looks up at him, brow furrowed and swollen mouth open.

“yes,” he bites out, “they are just—unreasonable, and you can’t just—do that, you’re sitting on my damn lap, think of my, my pulse—”

jungkook laughs with his eyes closed, barely making a sound, flushed cherry blossom pink, and yoongi’s never wanted to kiss someone’s teeth before yet here he is. he’s, like, in love, he’s completely and utterly gone and they haven’t been on a real date yet.

“i take that as, mm, as a compliment?” jungkook hums, sucking his bottom lip into his mouth, and instantly the heat is back as he leans over yoongi, shifts in his lap, and yoongi is reminded he’s been half-hard since jungkook straddled him. he makes a low soft sound from his throat, runs his hands over jungkook’s thick thighs, up his sides. jungkook brushes his lips against his cheekbone, drops devastatingly gentle feathery kisses along the side of his face. “‘m not prettily inked like you—”

“you don’t need it,” yoongi tells him, and he has no idea when his voice got so rough, “don’t need it to be absolutely fucking gorgeous—” jungkook makes a breathy high-pitched sound and rocks into him at the praise, face tucked into his neck, and so yoongi keeps going, hands sliding on bare skin, keeping him close. “so fucking beautiful,” he whispers, “been wanting you for ages—”

“yoongi,” jungkook grunts, and crashes their mouths together again, kissing with fervor, with teeth and tongue, his fist in yoongi’s hair keeping his face angled the way he wants, body rolling against him, hips grinding down, and yoongi loves it, this insistence and intensity, it’s so fucking hot; he moans into the kiss and grabs jungkook’s hips, encouraging his movements.

jungkook’s hands between their bodies are tugging on yoongi’s shirt.

“hyung, yoongi, take this off, please—”

it takes a bit of maneuvering, and jungkook almost clocks him in the jaw as he yanks the shirt off his body with more force than necessary, but after apologizing profusely whilst giggling helplessly, he’s back in yoongi’s lap and skimming his fingers over the roses on his collarbones and upper arms, making yoongi shiver.

“pretty,” he’s whispering, “pretty hyung, so pretty—”

yoongi flushes even more just from that, and tugs him back down by the back of his neck.

he thinks about the coffee date for a fleeting moment, and wonders if they’re moving too fast—decides fuck it approximately 1.8 seconds later, because they both want this, and the way jungkook sighs into his mouth is a pretty compelling argument. he glides his hands up jungkook’s stomach, his chest, teases fingertips over his nipples, and jungkook squirms against him, gasps into his mouth, and yoongi definitely wants to explore his unexpected sensitivity more, can’t wait to learn what makes him writhe and gasp, what makes him feel good and what makes him feel like he’s been sent to heaven—preferably when they aren’t making out in a creaky office chair.

for now, jungkook grinds against him increasingly desperately and yoongi grazes his fingers just above his waistband, mumbles, “what do you want? tell me what you want. anything.”

jungkook inhales unsteadily.

“touch me,” he whispers, “please—”

gently, his fingers wrap around yoongi’s; yoongi lets his hand be guided down, down where he is hard in his jeans; his own dick jumps, arousal so tightly-wound in his belly he thinks he might burst. he applies pressure, palms him slowly, and jungkook lets out the most beautiful ragged moan, clings to his shoulders and rocks into his palm. yoongi slides his other hand into his hair, mouths along his jawline, presses teeth and tongue against his skittering pulse until jungkook’s breath stutters.

“more—yoongi, wanna feel your—your hands—”

“fuck,” yoongi manages, and fumbles with the button of jungkook’s jeans. employs both of his hands to tug them open because no one’s grading technique here. “okay?” he checks, barely dipping a fingertip under the elastic waistband, and when jungkook rattles off a litany of yes yes yes, slips a hand into his briefs. his other palm firm and grounding against jungkook’s back, merely strokes him gingerly with his long fingers first, taking it slow more for himself than for jungkook, because his heart is about to punch out of his ribcage. jungkook makes breathy little sounds, and yoongi sees his toes curl and uncurl behind him. it’s the most devastating thing he’s ever seen.

he wraps his fingers around him, and takes him out. jungkook is leaking, hard and heavy, and yoongi swears roughly into his sweat-coated neck, leans his forehead against his shoulder to watch his own fingers skim over the flushed tip, slick and sticky, watches precum string between them. jungkook’s gripping his hair so tightly it almost hurts.

“pretty,” yoongi tips his face up to mumble nonsensically into the hollow of his collarbone, “you’re so pretty, kook-ah, so beautiful.”

jungkook moans weakly into his ear, his hips stuttering forward into the ring of his fingers. yoongi pumps him loosely a couple of times and rubs his palm over the wet head, trying his best to take note of his reactions and learn what he likes, jungkook’s nails scraping across his shoulders, jungkook gasping hyung or yoongi or fuck fuck fuck.

he’s sure jungkook has lubricant in some shape or form somewhere around here, but he also doesn’t see either of them getting up in the near future; so he briefly takes his hand off of jungkook to bring it up to his mouth, and rather unceremoniously licks a wet stripe across his palm, all the way up to his fingertips. tastes jungkook on his tongue, and while he’s never been a fan of the taste of precum or cum, jungkook doesn’t taste bad.

“oh, my god,” he hears a strained gasp, and locks eyes with jungkook, who sits back to watch yoongi. he looks so wrecked with his bitten mouth and glazed-over eyes that yoongi isn’t half as embarrassed as he usually would be, but instead finds himself wanting to put on a show; looks at jungkook under his lashes as he sucks two of his fingers into his mouth, gets them wet and messy, and pulls them out slowly. jungkook looks dazed, his fingers working against the muscles of yoongi’s shoulders; finally he blinks, tugs his bottom lip into his mouth, biting down hard.

“fuck, yoongi,” he says low, a dark shadow passing across his face, and closes the distance, kisses him the most urgent yet, so much power behind it that yoongi forgets what he was doing for a second, just groans and gives into it, mouth pliant and inviting the drag of jungkook’s tongue against his own. he remembers soon enough, with jungkook poking wetly at his abdomen, and reaches back down, takes him into his fist. jerks him fast and tight, wanting to give him what he needs, wanting to see him come apart.

jungkook’s getting close, there are several tells: his body squirming so erratically yoongi thinks he might fall right off of him, his thighs shaking, the continuous whiny aah aahs from his mouth. coming in his pants like a sixteen-year-old is a very formidable threat to yoongi.

“wait, wait,” jungkook breathes, seizing his wrist, and yoongi stops moving immediately; waits in the silence of their heavy breathing, and jungkook swallows, blinks at him, eyelashes fluttering like butterfly wings, so, so pretty. he releases a laugh in the form of an exhale, and looks at yoongi, the flush on his face darkening like ripe cherries. “didn’t wanna come yet—wanna touch you first.”

“oh,” yoongi says, and sounds like he’s in pain, “oh, god, jungkook—”

jungkook drags a hand down his chest, fingers skittering at his waist, hooking over the waistband of his jeans.

“wanna touch you, hyung,” he mumbles, kissing the corner of yoongi’s mouth sloppily, “can i?”

“yes, please, kook-ah,” yoongi rambles, near delirious with how much he’s aching for it. jungkook works his jeans open quickly, and knocks their damp foreheads together to peer down at his hand as he rubs it over the soaked through spot on yoongi’s light blue briefs. a breathless haah falls out of yoongi’s mouth, and jungkook nudges at his face with his own, seeking his lips until he finds them. it’s less like kissing, more like them slotting their mouths together and panting, jungkook’s teeth grazing his bottom lip; experimentally, he bites a little bit harder, catching onto the fact that yoongi likes it from the filthy, unadulterated moan pouring from his throat and his hips rolling up into jungkook’s palm.

“yoongi, fuck,” he hears jungkook say, and his eyes have closed but jungkook sounds dark and ruined and like he’s witnessing something wondrous. yoongi tips his head back against the backrest as jungkook peels the thin fabric out of the way; jungkook’s saying more things, saying, pretty hyung, the prettiest, wanna make you feel good. yoongi swallows roughly, head rolling on the backrest in a way he can’t entirely control as jungkook takes him into his hand, mimics what yoongi did to him, running his fingers over the wetness and up and down his length. keeps his grip maddeningly light as he moves his hand rhythmically, caressing him more than anything else, and yoongi lets out a breathy whine, fingers digging into jungkook’s thighs, hips attempting to rise under his weight.

jungkook hums against his neck, and goes on to mouth at the roses on his collarbones, trace them with his tongue, and yoongi wonders hazily if he’s been wanting to do that for a while. he nips and bites and sucks at the skin until there are marks of a different kind blooming above the roses.

“is it good?” he whispers, breath tickling yoongi’s neck, and for some reason yoongi’s finding the fact that he’s seeking confirmation unbearably adorable. “does it feel good, hyung?”

“so good, kook-ah,” yoongi manages, and jungkook makes a pleased little noise. yoongi’s chest is so full it hurts. he blinks his eyes open, fumbles between their bodies gracelessly until he finds jungkook’s slick fingers. “here,” he murmurs, pulls jungkook’s hand up, and takes his fingers into his mouth. jungkook inhales sharply, and yoongi watches his face go through the five stages of grief as he sucks around his digits the way he did with his own. jungkook watches him darkly, presses the pads of his fingers against his tongue, and yoongi moans quietly, his dick twitching, finding the act of emergency lubing much more enticing when it’s jungkook’s fingers in his mouth.

jungkook mumbles something that sounds like killing me, and ruts against him, working his hips against yoongi’s in tiny circles, forearm propped against the backrest for support, his biceps bulging in a way that’s just uncalled for. yoongi pops his fingers out of his mouth, tugs him into a sloppy kiss, and guides jungkook’s hand back down, his movements hasty and urgent.

“kook, kook, kook-ah,” he’s murmuring for no reason, their tangled fingers closing around the both of them, and jungkook moans in arpeggios.

it’s so messy, there’s little to no finesse, but it’s so good, the feeling of them rubbing together and the slide of their slick fingers, jungkook fucking into their fists and letting out soft grunts and moans, biting on yoongi’s lips until yoongi whines and drags his nails down his side.

“‘m close,” jungkook mumbles, fingers curling in yoongi’s hair, pushing his face up into the nook of his neck, “yoongi, yoongi—”

“come on,” yoongi encourages, taking control when jungkook’s fingers stutter and slide away, dig into yoongi’s hip instead. keeps murmuring things to him, encouragements and praises pouring from his mouth in a steady stream, and yoongi never talks this much during sex but it’s effortless now, he doesn’t even think about it, feeds on the way it makes jungkook writhe and gasp.

jungkook’s moan sounds like it was cut clean off with a knife; his body tenses, arches, and then he’s coming all over yoongi’s stomach and chest. yoongi slips an arm around him and pulls him close, keeps him steady as jungkook goes boneless against him, catching his breath with his forehead sliding on yoongi’s shoulder.

“oh,” he gasps, “oh, shit.”

“yeah,” yoongi chokes a laugh, fingers skimming up his side, over the bumps of his ribs, his heaving chest. kisses his mussed up hair, his sweaty temple, then his slack mouth when jungkook lifts his face. “you good?”

“i’d say so,” jungkook says, and breaks into a grin, tired and happy and fucked out. yoongi’s looking at him like he’s in love.

he’s also still hard between them, which jungkook doesn’t neglect much longer. all he does, pretty much, is apply some pressure, scrape his fingernails against his scalp, murmur, come on, wanna see you come, wanna see you, and yoongi comes, just like that. feels like he comes for ages, feels like jungkook’s physical weight on him is the only thing preventing him from astral projecting right out of his body.

he doesn’t know what his body, his face, his voice do, but after the white washes over him, jungkook’s breathing, oh, oh, yoongi, running gentle fingers down his neck and shoulders. his hands: gentle and warm and soft. yoongi rolls his head down the backrest back onto his shoulders, waiting for his breath to calm, and jungkook holds his jaw in his fingertips, kisses him sweetly on the mouth.

“you know, i can’t even be bummed that your makeup is sort of ruined,” he hums, looking at yoongi with lidded eyes and softly caressing his jaw, “because you look so good like this.”

“oh,” yoongi blinks. “oh, my god. i forgot you did my makeup.”

jungkook laughs quietly. “i take that as a confirmation it was good?”

“so good.” yoongi swallows, closes his eyes, and lets the back of his head hit the chair with a muffled thud. “now it’s kinda gross though. sticky and cold.”

“i’m not sure my legs work,” jungkook evaluates. yoongi cracks one eye open to glare at him.

“are you trying to get me to wheel us to the bathroom?”

jungkook looks at him. “is it working?”

yoongi actually tries, after they are tucked back in and still kind of gross; spins them around and tries to use the wall as leverage to propel them across the floor, an attempt which ends in them almost toppling over after two meesely feet and then almost toppling over again when their laughing makes the chair wobble around uncontrollably.

when yoongi inspects himself in the bathroom mirror five minutes later, he determines the makeup still looks good. the eye makeup is a little bit smudged but the glossy highlighter has stayed on. some of it could be the post-orgasm glow, though.

“it looked good, i promise,” jungkook says, leaning on the doorframe behind yoongi. he’s cleaned up already, and looks wildly good, his hair swept off his forehead and tousled like it’s had wind in it. he’s wearing his shirt, and is holding yoongi’s in his hand. “i did an amazing job. you just have to take my word for it.”

“i guess you have to do it again,” yoongi hums, “and this time try not to, like, jump my bones.”

“wow, the nerve,” jungkook says, aghast, “you kissed me first.”

he pelts yoongi with the shirt, and yoongi grins, catches it before it slips to the floor. as he shakes it out, jungkook gravitates closer. yoongi meets his eyes in the mirror, and jungkook gives the smallest, softest smile, before dropping his gaze like he’s shy; he gently lowers his forehead on yoongi’s bare shoulder, and yoongi’s heart hurts.

“do you still wanna get that coffee?” jungkook asks in a tiny voice. he’s tracing the flowers on yoongi’s shoulder blades with his fingertips. yoongi doesn’t say i’d go anywhere with you. but he thinks it.

“let me just put on my shirt,” he says with the warmth of the thing making a home out of his chest. jungkook peeks up from behind his shoulder so that only his big eyes are visible. but yoongi can tell he’s smiling.

“wanna know something?” jungkook asks in the stairs that are almost too narrow to walk side-by-side while holding hands, but yoongi has been quoted as saying he’s willing to die for hand-holding, so it’s a challenge he’ll take. he hums affirmatively, adjusting his fingers in the spaces between jungkook’s. “when you came out of the bathroom after taking off your makeup… the first thing i thought was is this how he would look every morning.”

yoongi turns to look at him. jungkook’s looking at the steps, bottom lip between his teeth. yoongi looks forward again so as to not stumble and die.

“i wanted to… see you like that every morning,” jungkook continues quietly. “want to. um. not every morning. not right away. but… some mornings. as many mornings as you want. i’m saying… i want to wake up next to you and do all the boring morning stuff with you. oh my god.”

they are at the bottom of the stairs and they come to a stop. jungkook’s looking decidedly away from yoongi, at the opposite wall, and his neck is faintly pink. he’s holding onto yoongi’s hand really tightly, though.

“it wasn’t that embarrassing,” yoongi consoles, bringing the back of jungkook’s hand up to his grin, and pressing a fleeting kiss to it. jungkook makes a mortified sound. yoongi gently tugs him along towards where it’s still light out. “and i want the same thing.”

“you do?”

he pulls them into the street, and turns around to face jungkook, who’s finally looking back at him, bright and beautiful. yoongi tugs him close, and tells him, “i want to do all the boring morning stuff with you too. how could i not.” how could i not. he really means it. jungkook seems to think getting to wake up next to him every morning is anything less than a privilege.

he didn’t really consider it earlier because they were sitting. but he has to stand on his tiptoes to kiss jungkook. so he does just that. he holds his face and kisses him gentle warm and soft, and jungkook’s arms encompass him, and yoongi doesn’t really want him to ever stop holding him. he feels the outline of his smile in the kiss.

and it’s a good kiss but yoongi still doesn’t expect the eruption of cheers that abruptly rings out on his left. he jumps a little, and stares at jungkook, wide-eyed. jungkook blinks back at him. they turn to look at the same time.

it’s a jarringly familiar sight.

“what are you doing here,” yoongi says bluntly when he finds kim taehyung hanging out with some pigeons outside the beauty salon and also jungkook’s apartment on a clear saturday evening around maybe 7:30-ish.

“hello, hyung, very nice to see you, how are you?” taehyung grins up at them from where he’s squatting by the buildingside doing something that yoongi hopes to god isn’t hand-feeding pieces of bagel to street pigeons. “i’m just hand-feeding bagel to these pigeons.”

“i can see that,” yoongi says flatly.

there are two other people who contributed to the cheering. jimin’s endorsing taehyung, hovering at his side holding the bag of bagels with his other hand buried in his pocket, smirking at them knowingly. hoseok is eyeing the pigeons cautiously from a safe distance on the other side of the pavement, but still looks very happy for them.

taehyung’s hair is—different. it’s so light brown it might actually just be blonde, and whatever jimin did to it to make it look like it would smell like seawater and sand and the sun, works really well for taehyung. yoongi locks eyes with jimin when taehyung is focused on cahooting with pigeons, points at the surfer curls, and raises his eyebrows. jimin makes a pair of horn signs with his index and pinky fingers. it’s the closest to a civilized conversation with a heartfelt compliment and a thank you they’ve ever had.

“were you… waiting out here for us to come out just so you could prove i didn’t actually do yoongi-hyung’s makeup?” jungkook says with disbelief.

“of course not,” taehyung says, standing up and shaking bagel crumbs off of his palms. “we were waiting in the café across the street. but the rest was pretty accurate.”

“well, i did do his makeup,” jungkook narrows his eyes.

“yeah,” jimin begins, “either this really isn’t your best one—” he gestures broadly at yoongi’s general being, “or you were purposely going for this makeup was impeccable and then i had heated sex with my makeup artist in a desk chair which, by the way, is actually jimin’s and you were supposed to give it back a year ago.”

yoongi and jungkook share the same horrified silence.

“wait—” jungkook starts weakly.

“dude,” jimin sighs, and waves a hand at the building. “your apartment has, like, a billion windows.” jungkook goes pale. yoongi just stares at jimin, whose mouth quirks devilishly. “don’t worry, you could only see, like, the top of jungkook’s head. but i mean, no one has conversations that long while sitting in someone’s lap facing them.”

“yoongi actually does that, sometimes,” taehyung says contemplatively. “so i don’t know. we shouldn’t rule that out.”

“you can keep the chair, by the way,” jimin says genially.

“thanks,” jungkook says in a dead voice.

“oh, my god,” yoongi says, “i’m going to cross this street to the café now and i’m going to be hoping a car hits me.”

“wait,” yelps hoseok, who’s been chased by a pigeon even further down the pavement. he’s cornered at some motorcycles parked on the side of the street. “congrats! and i’m sorry i threatened you, yoongi!”

“it’s okay, no hard feelings,” yoongi shouts back. it’s very difficult to feel threatened by someone who’s shrieking at a group of pigeons and seems to think taehyung has some kind of control over them because he’s pleading, call them back, tae.

“if they intimidate you it’s because you deserve it!” taehyung’s yelling as yoongi escapes across the street, jungkook’s hand in his, jungkook’s breathless laugh in his ears and in some place more permanent, in a safe, in a box in his heart where he’ll reach when he needs it, when he needs to be reminded of the good things in the world.

jungkook slows them down outside of the café.

“before we go in, i need to do something,” he says, squeezing yoongi’s hand and biting down on his bottom lip.

“okay?” yoongi says as jungkook takes hold of his upper arms and steers him to stand in front of him in what feels like a very formal manner. he seems serious and vaguely nervous and yoongi finds it perplexing but also endearing. jungkook inhales deeply.

“okay,” he says, looking yoongi firmly in the eye, “so we already got each other off and established we want to be gross and domestic together. but i want to do this properly, so…” his posture shifting, relaxing, he rubs at the side of his neck, and he grins, slightly embarrassed but with the sun trapped behind his teeth. “min yoongi, i like you. will you date me?”

that’s how yoongi starts dating jeon jungkook: uttering the easiest yes he’s ever said, smiling like a lovestruck fool in front of some old guy just trying to enjoy a cup of coffee on the patio, with taehyung very distinctly screaming about pigeons in the background. it’s exactly what he pictured.

—likes me.

#yoonkook #bts fic #idk how i should tag this i dont have a system yet

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fearofaherobrine · 7 years

Text

Roleplay Server Log #253

“Book Chat, Rudolph, Slender and the MIBs”

[Flux] Is walking along the edge of the water, just watching it and occasionally spotting Aqua rolling through the waves-

[Alexsezia] Is happily potting some small plants outside.

[Flux] Spots her- Oh, hello

[Alexsezia] Hey Flux. It's a nice day, isn't it?

-multiple cats- Trot over to Flux and busk on her dress hem or try to bat at her long hair.

[Flux] Smiles a little at the cats- Yes it is, I figured Notch could use some room to figure out his... Tweet I believe it's called

[Alexsezia] What's a tweet?

[Flux] - I'm not certain, but I believe it has to do with the internet that humans have... A way of communicating

[Alexsezia] Ah, that makes sense. He is techincally still missing out there.

[Flux] - Yes... And it is a bit of a concern... I don't wish for others to investigate where he's gone to much...

[Alexsezia] Wasn't he always kind of a recluse though?

[Flux] - Well yes, but he's been absent from commenting on the internet as well...

[Alexsezia] Well that's easily fixed. I know there are several people here with some kind of computing device.

[Flux] - I do believe he's enjoyed not having one

[Alexsezia] It does seem like a bit of a time suck. But I do appreciate all the new books Doc has brought in. Some of them are pretty racy too...

[Flux] - Racy?

[Alexsezia] You know? Sexual? I'm not into the practice personally, but it's nice to read a good romance sometimes.

[Flux] - There are educational books about it in the library?

[Alexsezia] What, like Sex for Dummies or something?

[Aqua] Pops up near the shore and looks at the two women-

[Flux] - No, the books you've mentioned

[Alexsezia] Hi Aqua!

-Cats - Watches the sea dragon cautiously-

[Alexsezia] There are educational books on all kinds of things there.

[Flux] Perhaps I'll look into them

[Aqua] Tries to sniff the cats-

-Cats- Three stay and are sniffed and the others scamper back a bit to keep from getting wet.

[Aqua] Tries licking-

-Cats- Skitter away in three different directions-

[Alexsezia] They don't like being wet Aqua.

[Aqua] Tilts head in a curious manner, looking at the plants Alexsezia planted-

[Alexsezia] Plucks a bit of dragonwort and holds it up -

[Aqua] Cranes neck over and sniffs at it before licking it out of Alexsezia's hands-

[Alexsezia] Good boy! Did you need to know something specific Flux?

[Flux] Shakes head- I believe TLOT has covered most of it with me...

[Aqua] Reaches over to sniff Alexsezia's face-

[Alexsezia] Boops Aqua's nose lightly- He's good at that kind of thing. Really found his calling. I'm happy for him, and Steve too.

[Aqua] Boops back- Boop!

[Alexsezia] Laughs even though she got a little wet. -You're feeling friendly today!

[Flux] - Is it not usually?

[Alexsezia] Usually... And you said a word?

[Aqua] - Boop! Boop!

[Alexsezia] It's a start at least. Have you made friends with Stevie's Milotic yet?

[Aqua] Rubs themselves against the sand- Boooooooooooop!

[Alexsezia] I guess thats as good as I'm going to get. Do you want a scratch Aqua? - Curls and uncurls her fingers to demonstrate.

[Aqua] Watches the fingers curiously and moves closer-

[Alexsezia] Scratches Aqua's barbels and behind his head fins-

[Aqua] Trills-

[Flux] - They seem to enjoy that

[Alexsezia] Seems to be a common dragon thing.

[Flux] - An unintentional effect of their coding?

[Alexsezia] A small weakness. I wonder if that means you could tame a normal Enderdragon by getting on it's head and scracthing it behind the ears?

[Flux] - I'm certain if that suggestion were to reach the doctor they may just try

[Aqua] Glances at it's tail as a fish bumps against it-

[Alexsezia] Perhaps we should just keep quiet about it then- winks

[Flux] A rare small laugh leaves her-

[Alexsezia] I think we have more then our share of dragons as it is anyway.

[Flux] - Yes, although I haven't seen a few for a few days

[Alexsezia] Check the library.

[Flux] - I believe I will, have a good afternoon Alexsezia

[Alexsezia] You as well, oh hey. Have a snack to walk with, on me. - She pulls out a small yellowish stick and holds it out to her

[Flux] Frowns a little as she steps closer to accept it- What is it?

[Alexsezia] Mild chase. It's not strong like the blue, or brine only pungent like the gold.

[Flux] Looks at the chase, seeing the hint of magic which allowed Alexsezia to craft it. She takes a bite- Mm, that is quite good. The children in the village might enjoy it

[Alexsezia] I can't do the wheel cheat, but I have a little more you can have. - gives her a handful of sticks.

[Flux] - I will pass these along to somebody who can

- There is a car parked outside of Slender's mansion. There's no road, or even a path it could have arrived on to get there. It's just there. It's a late model black Chevy, low to the ground and certainly vintage, but there's a weird air of newness about it and even a whiff of new car smell as two men get out of it. For a moment they're lit from below by a very un-car-like bright blue glow from the instrument panel but then, it too winks out. The men are identical in black suits, hats and sunglasses, the only difference between them is the yellow tie sported by one and the grey tie of the other.

[Yellow MIB] knocks strongly on the huge front doors-

[Slender] Helping Sally with a bit of math work, he "frowns" when he hears the knocking- Sally, I will be right back- He goes to the front doors and opens them

[MIB] In unison. - Hello. - They sound weird, almost sped up -

[Yellow MIB] We are looking for a soul in a bag -

[Gray MIB] We also request a glass of water. Please.

[Slender] - I don't believe you have any business here. And a glass of water can be found anywhere

[Yellow MIB] We will make this short.

[Gray MIB] We have information to exchange. - Is getting weirdly red in the face and starting to shake a bit.

[Sally] Peeks around the corner, having heard the request and is holding a glass of water- Papa?

[Gray MIB] Takes the water from the girl with an appreciative nod. He takes out a pill and uses exactly half the glass of water to swallow it. Immediately the redness and shaking vanishes-

[Yellow MIB] Is just staring at Slender, between ones facelessness and the others opaque glasses, it looks like an equal contest.

[Slender] - Go back inside Sally

[Sally] - But Papa...

[Slender] - Now

[Sally] - Okay...- She turns and skips back in to go back to her room, recognizing Slender's tone as a very serious one

[Gray MIB] More composed now - We are investigating a serious crime sir.

[Yellow MIB] But we are not here to detain.

[Slender] - You'll have to be more specific

[Gray MIB] A soul was exorcised and bound to an earthly collection of objects, by a person of interest.

[Slender] - I will still need something more specific than that

[MIBs] Share a confused look with one another-

[Yellow MIB] It appears like a burlap bag?

[Slender] - That is still not specific enough

[Gray MIB] Umm... - holds a hand far above his head - This tall? Red eyes?

[Slender] - Ah, that one, and what business do you have with it?

[Yellow MIB] We need to speak with him.

[Slender] - And I do not see why that is necessary

[MIBs] Just stand there staring at him-

[Offender] - Hey bro! Do you know where the super glue is?

[Slender] WHY DO YOU NEED THAT!?

[Offender] - ... Reasons

[MIB] Both lean at a rather impossible angle sideways to see Offender around Slender-

[Slender] - You do not need it Offender

[Offender] - But Rudolf might~

[Slender] - What did you do?

[Offender] - Nothing~

[Yellow MIB] At Offender - we wish to speak with him-

[Offender] - Ooo! More fuck toys!

[Yellow MIB] eyebrow raise. -

[Slender] - Offender, please go away for now, go keep an eye on Sally

[Offender] - You got it bro!

[Rudolph] Slouches down the hall across from them

[both MIBs] Dart around Slenders legs in opposite directions and head for the monstrosity.

[Slender] Instinctually grabs them with his tendrils, his static filling the air- You do not have permission to enter my home...

[MIB] Both shake violently, their skins are cold and obviously non-human. The half glass of water shatters violently on the floor.

[Rudolph] Puzzled look, mentally - who are they?

[Slender] - They are apparently here for you- Slams the two MIB onto the ground

[MIB] Both crumple and then pull themselves quickly together with no sound whatsover. Yellow seems to have a wire running down his leg that goes into the flesh by his ankle.

[Gray MIB] Stalks over to Rudolph and gives him a rather bizare salute and flashes a small badge. He opens his mouth and there's a sudden time blink, a loss of no less then six minutes.

[Rudolph] Stands there stunned -

[Yellow MIB] Tell no one what you've seen.

[Slender] Growls, his static becoming near deafening in anger-

[Yellow MIB] Takes his hat off respectfully and walks to the door- Carry on good citizens.

[Gray MIB] Heads for the door as well- We will see you in time.

[Slender] Stalks after them, having gone into his hunting mode-

[MIBs] Enter the car and start the motor, the car pulls around the side of the house-

[Slender] Teleports over to that side-

-There is nothing. The car has vanished, along with it's peculiar inhabitants-

[Slender] Teleports back into the house- What, was that about?

[Rudolph] Looks subdued. - There are others like me. One has expired.

[Slender] - I see, I do not appreciate entities being able to find this sanctuary so easily Rudolph

[Rudolph] They are unknown to me. But they are hunting the one who did this to me.

[Slender] - And do you remember anything about them?

[Rudolph] Snarls- I remember more then enough about her... but I do not know where she is.

[Slender] - I see. With my luck Splender would probably find her before I did...

[Lie] She and CP have been walking along their property with CP answering as many of Lie's questions as he can. They were towards the very back of the property where the horses were, each wanting a bit of attention- So you really took the time to learn all of their names?

[CP] - Yes, just don't let Doc know that. They'd have a giggle fit most likely

[Lie] - Why do you not want them to know?

[CP] Sighs- I, don't exactly like others knowing many things about me, only you... I only open up to you. You are my mate, my everything

[Lie] Smiles gently at him- You know, I'm starting to get kinda hungry...

[CP] - Stay here, I'll go get us something from the house- He turns and returns to the house, gathering some food from trunks and heading back to where he left Lie. A sense of dread fills him as he gets closer and doesn't see his mate- Lie?- He looks around a bit frantically, not seeing her at all- Lie!

[Doc] Was snoring softly under the house and wakes up to him calling- Cp?

[CP] Goes rushing by to check in the green house-

[Doc] Uncoils and walks after him- Did Lie wander off?

[CP] - Shit I don't know! I can't find her though!

[Doc] I'll help- Xe uses hir pinpoint and heads off towards Lie-

[Lie] Had wandered around the side of the hill into the tree's back there-

[Doc] Lie?

[Lie] - Hm? Oh, hey

[CP] Is immediately relieved-

[Doc] Just doing a bit of exploring? You scared Cp.

[Lie] - Oh, sorry, I got curious....

-Behind Lie something moves-

[Doc] You might want to.. uh, come a bit closer.. quickly....

[Lie] - Why?

-A creeper emerges behind Lie and begins hissing-

[CP] Leaps at it, already summoning his sword-

[Lie] Quickly turns, her eyes going wide at the sight of the mob-

[CP] Quickly dispatches it with a couple of swift blows- And this is why we don't wander without a weapon

[Lie] - Weapons?

[Doc] Well yeah! There's monsters in every dark cave and nook.

[Lie] - I... I didn't know...

[Doc] The sun burns them, but you have to stay out of dark places, okay?

[Lie] - Alright, I understand

[CP] -Come on, lets head back towards the house

[Doc] Escorts them- Generally the mobs won't give you too much trouble, but you've forgotten how to use your powers, so it's best to stick with a buddy.

[Lie] - Okay, I'll keep that in mind- As they're walking her hair starts twisting backwards as her hair tie reforms

[Doc] Sees the little movement and perks up-

[Lie] - Is everything okay? Something seems to have gotten your attention...

[Doc] Your hair....

[Lie] Reaches back for it- Oh... Is it, a hair tie?

[Doc] It's your hair tie. It's supposed to be there.

[Lie] - Oh! Do I always have my hair back like this?

[Doc] Most of the time yes.

[Lie] - I see, I suppose it would keep it out of my face, although I don't think it will really help with my hair getting into lava...

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satire-please · 7 years

Text

How Many Bros to Change a Baby?

Summary: I saw this picture and couldn’t help myself. Besides we all need a little more happy Noctis in our lives after...that ending.

Noctis hates Nagas.

Even if he hadn’t been attacked as a kid by a Marilith, getting the injury that took out his legs for years, Noct still has extreme dislike for snakes that can’t shut up. Like, how could he not hate the long stretch of coil and scales? Or the face full of daggers that looks so human until the jaw suddenly unhinges to eat you whole?

But the creepiest thing has got to be the hisses of, “Where’ssssssss my baby? What did you doooooo to my baby?”

Noctis hits the monster with a strong lightning spell or two. “We don’t have your stupid baby!”

But the words don’t stop.

“Where issssss it? Give me back my baby!” The shriek almost makes Noct’s ears bleed.

Most of the crew is poisoned in the dank pit of this sewer trap, so it’s up to Gladio and Noctis to buy Ignis time. The two blonds crouch in the corner as Ignis gives Prompto another antidote so he doesn’t faint from the toxin.

Bam. The Naga is strong and knocks Gladio to crash into the wall. She leans over the dazed man, acid spilling from her mouth. A green drop hits the floor, sizzling dangerously between his legs and Gladio winces as smoke rises from the spot.

“There is no baby!” Noctis shouts, drawing the creature’s attention.

The Naga jerks, straightening up to its tall and menacing height. Then, she lunges for Noctis. He warps once, twice but the Naga’s range is wide enough to snatch him in her coils.

Well, this isn’t good.

Noctis gasps as the prison of hard armored scales tightens against his ribs. His eyes go blurry as he tries to find a warp point, get a hand free, anything, but the Naga’s grip leaves no escape.

“I will have my baby.” The Naga inhales and spews a flood of ebony smoke right onto Noct’s face.

The last thing Noctis hears is a worried scream of his name. Then everything goes dark.

Ignis almost finds it inspiring how quickly the monster was dealt with after the prince disappeared from view.

Gladio slashes the tail with a broad stroke and a furious roar: the berserker raining attacks down right and left. Prompto takes out the eyes with unerring precision. The final death blow comes from Ignis himself when he realized the creature was vulnerable to ice. The frost bloomed on the floor, even branching partially up the walls with the strength of the spell.

But crew didn’t wait for the Naga’s final death knell to fade before dashing into the space where Noctis had been last seen.

In the middle of the dungeon there was a pile the Prince’s clothes. The black fabric collapsing as the openings of collars and sleeves billowed out with rich black smoke. Ignis could only breathe again when he noticed a large lump in the center of Noct’s shirt move.

Thank the Holy Six. The prince must have somehow been transformed.

They are not new to the effects of being a toad, and it seems Nagas do favor turning one of their party into a frantic hopping thing at least once an encounter.

“Is he okay?” Prompto says, looking to Ignis, his eyes wide with concern.

“Probably, Gladio do you have a maiden’s kiss? I believe Noct may require one.” He starts reaching into Noct’s clothes to uncover the bump. It is best to fish his prince out.

“Tch, too bad we don’t have Lunafreya. In fairy tales doesn’t the frog prince get some?” He gripes, but he hands over the cure to Ignis.

Who’s so still it’s as if he’s petrified.

“Ignis?” Prompto questions.

Ignis pulls out the bundle and the other two gasp in shock. “I may have been incorrect about what exactly we’re dealing with…”

A piercing wail comes from the thing that Ignis reveals. He cradles the crying, red-faced naked—

“BABY NOCTIS?”

“This is peculiar,” Ignis mutters. He’s never had to handle this type of situation before.

Prompto wildly gestures with his arms. “WE CAN’T TAKE CARE OF A CHILD!” he emphasizes strongly.

“Hmmm.” Gladio ponders the kid. The brat still has a fluff of black hair and his wails stop at the wheezing sounds Prompto makes. It’s like he’s determined to be the loudest of the group. Not that Prompto needs any help. Noctis is a fat baby, though in Gladio’s very limited experience maybe all babies look like that. Maybe it means they’re healthy or something?

“I mean, a baby!” Prompto continues, even with Ignis balancing Noctis on his leg as he attempts to fashion some type of covering for the child. He decides to pull the T-shirt back over Noct’s head and knot together the shirt’s ends for the prince’s legs.

Prompto counts reasons on his fingers, “A baby sleeps all day, is a picky eater, is sulky and moody…” he trails off.

The men take a second to reflect on their prince’s behavior, at what exactly Noctis does everyday and start to feel their confidence come back.

“So….it’s like normal Noctis,” the gunman finishes.

Ignis stands, supporting Noctis on his hip while touching his chin. “Precisely.” How could Ignis doubt his own abilities?

Gladio just stares at the baby. Is Noct the size of a large or extra large cup-o-noodle? “Well, either way we should scram. This place isn’t best for the brat.”

“I agree, let us take our leave and find a way to return Noct to normal.”

Prompt picks up Noct’s stuff and the three make their way to the door. “Yeah we got this, let’s get out of here. ”

They, in fact, did not ‘get’ this.

Here are some pros and cons that Prompto forgot to consider.

Pro: Noctis is fairly light and easy to carry.

Con: Their new battle strategy is Prompto booking it with Noct in whatever direction Ignis points while he and Gladio wail on anything that dares to follow them.

Pro: Noctis still loves to sleep. And if you hold him, he’s actually a pretty good baby.

Con: You can’t put him down. Ever. He will scream the moment you try and Gladio has been carrying Noctis against his abs for an hour. But whenever they try to switch or offer a crude sling for the baby, Gladio snarls at them to fuck off.

Pro: Noctis is a stupidly cute infant.

Con: Noctis appears to be about three months old… and is not potty-trained.

The moment they were first slammed with the smell, Gladio and Prompto turned to Ignis, their one and only hope.

“Just because I’ve been with the Prince the longest, doesn’t mean that has ever been a part of my duties.” Ignis sniffed glaring at the two. “No, if we are to get through this, gentlemen, then we must suffer together.”

In horror, Prompto looks to Noctis, and Prompto swears he’s evil because Noct takes one look at his face and sweetly giggles.

Later. Much, much later.

It’s been three days and still no cure for Noct. They’ve tried everything in their inventory and asked every outpost from Hammerhead to Lestallum. But nothing. Only coos and fawning over the little royal. Finally, after reducing their last source of information to making silly expressions for Noctis, Ignis decides it’s time to focus on buying necessary supplies for their new situation. A proper car seat since the Regalia is not safe for a child. Of course, Prompto and Gladio are determined to keep it when Noct changes back. Plus they need milk. Harvesting it from monsters tends to be tedious.

In addition, they are out of diapers.

“Bro, I love you. I’d die for you,” Prompto hisses while he prods at Noctis little tummy, “But now I own you. I own your soul, you hear me? Anytime I ask for a favor, a photo, help with girls, help with Cindy, all I will have to do is say the word diaper.”

Gladio holds Noctis out of reach, shielding the child from Prompto’s bony fingers. “You know this stuff is handy if you do ever get lucky with a girl, Prompto. Chicks dig guys that are good with kids.”

It does seem to be true, especially in Lestallum as revealed by several adoring women. One of the older ones even said, ‘It’s good to see someone finally made an honest man out of you gentlemen.’ Apparently, it’s the status quo for the men to stay home and perhaps run the shops while the women get the real work done at the power generator. Someone’s got to bring home the bacon, right?

“I’m glad to hear such a mature statement from you, Gladio,” Ignis hands Gladio a bottle. It’s time for the Prince’s lunch. “Especially since you’re changing Noct next.”

“Aw, Specs, don’t be like that.”

“It’s only fair. Prompto and I have already had a turn attending to Noct’s needs.”

“Yeah!” Prompto yells.

“Alright, alright. Well, at least Noct at this size can’t get into much trouble.”

Of course, that’s when Baby Noctis decides this is the perfect time to warp right out of Gladio’s arms.

The gang thus decides to panic.

“Where’d he go?!” Gladio shouted.

“Noct? Buddy, Baby?????!!!”

“Over there!” Ignis points to an alley, several feet away from them. He winces at the shape of the sidewalk as well as the trash almost leans over Noct. “Something must have caught his eye.”

Something turned out to be a shiny piece of sharp rock. “Get that out of his mouth, immediately!”

Prompto gets there first, hurriedly sticking his fingers into Noct’s drooling mouth, gross, so he doesn’t choke. Noct squirms in his grasp, whining over the loss of the object. He’s about to cry. Gosh, Prompto hates when Noct gets like this. Bouncing the boy lightly in his arms, he tries to stop the tantrum early.

“Shhhhh, shhhh. You’re a picky eater, remember, Noct? You don’t need that nasty rock.” The words are not enough to stop a shrill scream.

Well, at least things can get worse right?

A low drawl comes from Prompto’s left. “My, my. What an interesting turn of events.”

Oh. Come. On.

“No.” Prompto twists sharply, the action flipping Noct’s mood and making baby laugh. “No, no, no, no, noooooooooooooo.”

Just lounging against the brick wall like a creep, fedora tipped over one eye like the slimeball he freaking is; the chancellor of Niflheim slowly smiles.

“No. You turn around and go back from whence you came demon!” Prompto points further down the dark alley as if to give Ardyn ideas.

Oh, if only these fools knew. Ardyn’s smile grows larger, toothier. “It appears the prince has been met with an unfortunate, inconvenient fate.”

“That’s none of your business,” Gladio growls. He positions himself in front of the group when Ardyn takes a step closer to see the child better. The man pouts at the blocked view and Gladio sizes him up. He seems to be alone, but Gladio wouldn’t put it past him to have some guards in the awnings.

“True. But I could make it my business if you like.” The chancellor pulls off his hat to give a mocking sweeping bow. “You might find my services and information helpful in this regard.”

“I wonder if the empire is aware of how freely you are with your services…” Ignis crosses his arms, fingering the daggers at his hips. “Either way I believe we must decline.”

“Such a pity.” Ardyn puts back on the hat and starts strolling away. “If only I could change your mind.”

Prompto clutches Noctis to his chest a little harder. “Well you can’t, so go away.”

“Very well. Have fun trying to find Mother’s Breath for the dear prince~” The man singsongs as he waves a hand in parting. Then, with relish, he starts mentally counting down.

One. “No. Come on, the guy’s the worst. We can do this without him,” someone whines.

Two. “What? You wanna be changing Noct’s diapers for god knows how long? We have no leads, Picture-Boy.”

Three. “In all my studies I believe I’ve never come across this Mother’s Breath as much as I loathe to admit it…the chancellor’s Intel could be vital.”

There is a loud groan, and Ardyn barely stifles a deep laugh. These poor foolish lambs.

“Chancellor Izuna!” The shout is ugly, but will do. “We’d like to reconsider.”

“Wonderful,” Ardyn purrs. “I knew you would see it my way.

Ardyn’s connections seem to pay off for the group once again. In hours he presents a location for the illusive Mother’s Breath. A cave probably filled to the brim with daemons, it’s opening covered with thick moss.

“Remember the flower is small and fragile. In the depth of the cave it shall almost appear to glow white.” The group sneers at the flourish Ardyn ends with. But Ardyn does them one better, he provides a fourth party member since Noctis is down for the count.

“You know if the chancellor keeps paying me to babysit you idiots, I’m gonna have enough to retire early.” Aranea flips up her helmet with a smirk as she eyes the three men and baby.

“Miss Aranea,” Ignis ignores the remark, pushing up his glasses. “If you will please just watch over Prince Noctis while we—”

“Nuh-uh. Just cause pretty boy makes a pretty baby doesn’t mean I want the drool daemon anywhere near me. And the job’s to babysit you, not the prince.” She places a hand on her hip daring the others to argue with her.

“But if you’re coming with us, then who’s—” Prompto’s question dies on his lips. The group turns to glare at the fifth person that breaks into the most deranged smile.

“Why me of course.” Ardyn makes grabby hands, “Now, give me the prince.”

“How about a Hell. No.” Gladio touches his sword in warning.

“Now see here. Do you truly wish to bring the prince in this state into a dangerous situation?”

“You are a dangerous situation!” Prompt explodes.

Ardyn motions to the cave, “I’m sure the monsters in there would be thrilled to hear that you would rather take your chances with them.”

The impasse only stops when Aranea pokes Ignis in the side, “Come on. My services are bought by the hour and you don’t want to put them to waste. We go in, grab the bloody flower, and then go our separate ways.”

Ignis scowls, but approaches the smug man. “I cannot believe we are allowing the chancellor of the country that destroyed our own to care for the prince. Our country’s future,” he stresses.

“Come now, I have always been straightforward with my intentions.”

“Bullshit,” Gladio mutters.

Ardyn pulls Noctis from Ignis with a little resistance. Noctis looks confused, lifting a chubby hand towards Ignis’ glasses. “Besides when I want the prince dead you will know.”

“That does not reassure me,” Ignis hisses, stepping forward, intending to reclaim Noct, but Aranea tugs on the back of his collar.

“Stop your motherhenning and focus on killing things,” she corrals the trio into the cave. The three look mournfully at the prince in their enemy’s arms. “And, hey, if the chancellor does do anything, I’ll help murder him for free.”

“I am still not assured,” Ignis states as the prince fades from view.

“Tough luck, Sweetcheeks.”

Ardyn waits a few minutes, until the echo of their footsteps ceases, before nuzzling the child. What a pleasure. The man looks at the child in sheer amusement at the irony. “You do exist to give me new fascinating experiences, my dear prince. Who would have thought you would give me an opportunity to be paternal?”

The child is so small. Buried in a crook of one arm, giving Ardyn a free hand to distract the babe with, as well as to explore the changes in the prince. The chubby cheeks, the wisps of hair, a button-like nose that Ardyn taps gently once in awhile. Prince Noctis has the widest eyes when he’s awake, yet barely makes a sound. What a considerate infant, how delightful.

“Then again, I doubt the gods will allow either of us to have children of our own. It is just not in the stars for us. I should treasure this experience instead of throwing you in the marsh to drown.” The man lets out a low chuckle that has the babe looking up at him curiously.

“Ohhh, you are adorable,” Ardyn coos sinisterly. “And fragile. And weak. I wouldn’t have to do much, just leave you a few yards away to be devoured by the wildlife. To hear your cries and see the mess you’d make is incredibly tempting...”

Despite the vile fantasy, Ardyn’s fingers are careful as he pets soft hair. He rocks Noctis back and forth, looking around for a place beside the dungeon to sit. A large boulder at the opening provides a perch to rest as the prince reaches for the shiny ornaments on Ardyn’s clothes.

Tch, that won’t do. Many of his adornments are too sharp for such soft gums. He gives the child a knuckle to suck and sighs. “But I did make a promise. And what’s the point of killing a babe, when I could destroy a king? I’ve put so much work to keep you alive so you can fulfill your destiny. Honestly, I swear you’re my most expensive investment yet, dear Noctis.”

The name is rolled out, and Ardyn starts to dream. “Yet I’m sure you’ll be worth the wait.” His eyes darken and narrow at the prince in his arms. “I won’t accept anything less.”

And if his hold is a little more possessive, a little more defensive, well, at least Ardyn’s insured no one is around to judge him.

“Hey Noct—”

“No.”

Prompto bulldozes on, “—Do you remember the time you spit up over Ignis when he tried to feed you something green?”

Noctis knows once the tirade starts, there will be no end and he’s this close from sinking his head in his hands…and crying.

“Please.”

“Or the time when you thought eating anything shiny was a good idea and you gave Gladio a heart attack cause you started to choke?”

“Yeah, thanks for that, Princess,” Gladio drawls, thumbing the top of his beer. That shit was way too close. But every painful thing was worth it to see Noct’s red embarrassed face now. Ever since they shoved Mother’s Breath down his tiny throat, they’ve given him hell. That’s what he gets for worrying them silly. Of course the little shit should count his blessings they waited until the chancellor and Aranea were gone before his transformation. Heh.

“I will pay you to stop.”

“Or when we had to race to the nearest outpost cause you announced to the world that babies were pooping, peeing machines.” Prompto gets into Noct’s face to taunt only to be shoved away.

“Ugh.” Noctis stands up from the camp chair. “I’m taking a walk.” He stomps past their gear and into the moonlit night. He doesn’t care what lurks just outside of the haven‘s safety. If he gets killed by one of the monsters lurking in the dark, at least he’ll be safe from Prompto’s voice.

“Prompto, make sure the prince isn’t unaccompanied,” Ignis calls lazily from his chair, for once the retainer sits and rests from his labors. The cave was challenging. Rewarding, of course, but challenging. So he and Gladio contently watch the exchange, rather pleased that the prince is back to his normal adult state.

“Aye-aye, Iggy!” Prompto gives Ignis a quiet salute and gleefully chases after the prince.

Noctis hears footsteps behind him and groans loudly. “I will warp to get away from you, Prompto.”

“Awww, buddy, you know there’s nowhere I won’t follow you. Sure it’ll take me a while, ‘cause you’re faster than me, but I will find you.” He says this so cheerfully that Noctis feels a legit chill run down his spine. “But just in case…”

And he tackles Noct into the ground.

“Get off!” Noctis growls, enraged, spitting out dirt. They grapple a bit, arms flailing, Noct trying to get out, while Prompto overcomes the laws of physics to become an octopus.

Prompto gleefully states, “Nah. You’re comfy.” He rubs his head into the prince’s hair. Yeah, this is the best. Baby Noctis was freaking adorable, but Prompto can squish this version as much as he wants without shame.

“I hate you.” Giving up, Noctis slumps resigned to the desert floor. He tires way too easily. At least the sand isn’t hard. Plus that rock jabbing his ribs doesn’t hurt too much, score.

“Do you really not remember what happened?”

“Yeah.” Sorta. Noctis doesn’t remember things, but he does remember feelings. Not that he’s going to spill that to Prompto anytime soon. Especially when they’re the gushy type. Thoughts of being safe and warm, a laugh that rings in his ear, of the sensation of arms tucked around him, protecting him from all harm. Feeling…loved and precious.

Yep. Noctis is going to take those memories to the grave. Then he feels a wet lick sweeping from his cheek to his eye.

“What the—” He jerks surprised. There’s drool running from of the tip of Noct’s nose, and he brushes it away harshly. It is futile. Slopping spit returns in three seconds.

“Oh, it’s Umbra.” With the dog’s name, Prompto releases his hold so Umbra has more space to attack the prince.

“U-Umbra. Umbra, stop!” Noctis sits up as Umbra barks happily. Tail beating enthusiastically, he climbs into the man’s lap to go after his chin and neck. Only with many scratches and pets does Umbra allow Noctis to pull Luna’s notebook out from his neck pouch.

Cracking a soft smile, Noctis opens the book to see Luna’s message. It’s been awhile since the last one. He freezes. No, please no. He turns to Prompto in utter betrayal.

“You told Lunafreya?” Noctis wheezes hoarsely.

“Told her? Now why would I do that?” The gunslinger gives a grin that strikes terror. “I’m a photographer and Lady Lunafreya only deserves the best of shots.”

Noctis gasps. “How could you?” Okay. Prompto is enjoying this too much. “You horrible, waste of space, you dirtbag.”

“A dirtbag that changed your diapers, Bro.”

“You’re never gonna let that go are you?”

“Nope. Neverrrrrrrrrrrrr.” Prompto stretches the last sound obnoxiously. “But hey! It looks like Lunafreya did a trade.”

Noctis looks back down to the journal. Huh. Right there, nestled in the pages, is a faded baby picture. The baby is on their stomach staring up at the camera with huge eyes and a tuft of blond hair. There’s an inscription on the side in pen.

‘My maid was careful to save one of these. It’s one of the last I have of my childhood, but it’s a perfect price to pay for the treasure you’ve given to me. Thank you.’

“Awwww. I did good.”

“No, you didn’t.” Noctis takes the picture and tucks it carefully into the front pocket of his jacket. Then, after kicking Prompto away so he stops reading over his shoulder, he jots a few lines to her in response.

“Yeah, I did.”

“Shut up,” he grumbles, patting Umbra once more. Sneaking one last lick, the dog trots back into the night.

“Hey, Noct?”

“Oh my gosh, what?” Noct huffs frustrated. Haven’t they messed with him enough already? First was the bloody car seat, next hounding him with all the baby gear and finally this. Though, if Noct is honest, he’s probably going to touch Luna’s picture in his pocket subconsciously for days.

An arm wraps around his shoulders. It’s warm and safe. The Six, what’s wrong with him?

Prompto’s head is turned away from him as if he’s shy. Hypocrite. “It was fun, but—” His voice drops to a murmur, “I’m glad you’re back to normal.”

“Me too.” A hesitant breath. “Thanks for…you know. Taking care of me and stuff.”

The arm tightens a bit and Noct feels stupidly grateful. “Anytime, Bro. Anytime.”

The moon rises above them. They’ll go back to camp in a minute. Just a minute.

Noctis really does have the best of friends.

It’s…nice.

#baby noctis #ffxv #fic rec #my writing #noctis lucis caelum #everyone really #cute #based off of fanart

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