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actualbird · 2 years

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I hope you're doing well! As always, seeing a notification in my email that you posted another fic is just *chef's kiss*.

The newest story with Luke and Marius is simply - I could just post a bunch of emojis that would probably convey the meaning better but the fact that I read it three times should be another good indicator of how fucking brilliant anything you write is.

Which sorta brings me to my next point and it's something I wanted to ask you for a little while now. How do you just post things? I know it sounds stupid but I would love to be able to post fics, random posts but I just can't. I can't even write it just for myself. And I know that you can post anonymously and no one will know who you are but I still can't do it. I just get paralysed with fear. Not even talking about posting, just creating in general. I am just terrified of judgment and I have no idea what to do. Do you ever feel like this? How do you overcome yourself? Do you have any advice?

Just a desperate Hibiscus anon, who wants to post so so much but is a "little" afraid ♥️🌺♥️

heyyo hibiscus!!! glad to hear from you again and i hope youre doing well too :DDD

and waAAHHH, thank u for reading "beautiful like a forest fire (admire from a distance, don’t get too close)" 🥺 u read it three times??? i think u read it more than i read it when i was proofreading omg. thank u so so much for the kind words <3!!!

as for ur questions, it's not stupid at all. it's a really really valid and pervasive fear and yeah, i still do struggle with this. hell, i feel it like, every other day

tho how i get over it is.....dkjbfkdjgksd in the manner of how i do almost everything in my life, i take it apart and analyse it. and through this dissection, this is how i can get possible solutions

disclaimer that this is what works for My Brain. it might not work for yours, but maybe you can get something from my process that does work for your brain

so yea. in my brain it all starts with the core fear of judgement, right? well, i dont like how judgement is such a broad word. like, judgement is when people come to conclusions based off of info given and the nature of humans is that they can come to a wrong or even hurtful conclusion about info, which, in this case, is fanwork. but i want specificity. if judgement is about hurtful conclusions, what are those conclusions i dont want ppl to come to?

what exactly am i afraid of getting judged for?

the following is not an exhaustive list, but just off the top of my head some specific fears i get in fandom

whenever i post fanfic, my fear is that i'll get judged for it not being written well, for it not being a good story.

whenever i post headcanons or silly memes or drawings or whatever 24/7 nonstop, my fear is that i'll get judged to be an annoying motherfucker.

whenever i post niche weird strange content that doesnt mesh with what the rest of the fandom is doing, my fear is that i'll get judged for not making the correct and expected type of fanwork, that people will think im doing this wrong

personally, when i dug into all of these deeper and found the specific judgement im afraid of, it gets easier to parse through. first one on that bullet point is about not being good enough. second is about being too much. third is about I'm Not Doing This Right, I'm Going To Get A Bad Grade In Fandom.

so with those specifics, i shoot em down.

fanfic not good enough? fuckin hell, im not writing this shit to win a pulitzer, im here to have fun! and someone out there will think it is a good story, even if i dont

im annoying? abso-fuckin-lutely i am! and people who dont like that can just block my username but a lot of people do enjoy that i never shut up and i enjoy it too.

not the correct fanwork? anxiety-brain, show me the rules for fandom concepts. oh, there are no rules? then nothing is correct or incorrect, UNCLENCH! and no matter how niche the thing is, it'll somehow connect with somebody else because humans are neat like that and nobody is the only person into that thing

the whole specificity thing is a little bit more of a thought exercise thats not just helpful for fears of putting creations out into the world, but for a lot of things. specificity, personally, helps me figure out solutions.

but in general for judgements, i figure it can be summarized with:

one way or another, everybody is going to judge you and/or your work. but for every person who judges you wrongly, there will also be another who judges you with admiration.

fandom is already judged as strange from the outside by people who arent in these kinds of communities. in my mind, im like "well, might as well go with the flow then!" and i own it

create unapologetically cuz life feels a loooot better when a person stops being sorry for something they shouldnt be sorry about

sdkjfkHBJDFS I HOPE THIS MAKES SENSE OMG

and i hope this can help in some way

#when i posted my first totfic ''instructions unclear...'' i took a 4hr depression nap immediately after cuz #i was so so scared that ppl would hate it cuz it wasnt shippy or romantic it's just shenanigans and nothing else #existed in the tag yet like that #but then ppl liked it. and im still scared everytime i post something but. idk. ppl in the community prove me wrong #there will b ppl who judge u with kindness and joy and thats what keeps me going thru the fear #hibiscus!anon #asks

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ginnympotter · 4 years

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Jily idea: something about them in college and being in the same class/group over zoom calls or Them running into each other at the grocery store and they realise they’re both wearing a Star Wars themed fabric face mask 🥺🥺🤠

A/N: omg i love this so much, ESPECIALLY because i just got 2 star wars themed masks!!! so this is PERFECT lol thank you!! This is essentially just me writing 2 people nerd out over star wars so hope that’s your thing :)

His stomach turns over as he sees a flash of red hair whiz past the produce section. He grips his basket and speeds up. “Evans!” he shouts as he reaches the pasta aisle, much louder than intended to compensate for the fabric slightly muffling his voice.

She turns sharply, and he notices a lot of things at once. One, she is smiling through her mask, as her cheeks enlarge and her eyes crinkle. Two, her eyes are even more green in person, green unlike anything he’d ever seen. And three, the mask robbing him of her smile’s full glory, is in fact a Star Wars mask too.

“Vader?” she asks, cocking her head to the side a bit.

“Colorful Vader,” he corrects her. “My mum made it, and she felt too restricted with just black and white. And seeing as I’d be blind wearing an actual full Vader mask that would cover my whole face, because I don’t think the mold accounts for glasses, why not wear something a bit more cheerful in these trying times.”

“And I’m sure your mum wouldn’t want to deprive the world of that whole face,” she smiles still. “Don’t you think Anakin would probably need glasses though? You can’t tell me his vision wasn’t completely fucked up by almost burning to death.”

“Definitely. Maybe he wears contacts?” He wishes he could step closer to her, as to swim in her eyes properly, especially considering they’re all left uncovered. They had been partners all semester for their online course in contemporary adolescent literature, so he had only ever had the pleasure of seeing them through a blurry camera screen, and it’s not like Zoom’s picture quality is state of the art. They had grown to be quite friendly, even texting sometimes about non-coursework related topics. He wishes he could hug her. But they remain distant, and he focuses in on her mask. “So you like the sequels as well, I take it?” he asks, gesturing towards it. It has little drawings of BB-8 on it. “We’ve never discussed that.”

“The first two, anyway,” she shrugs, picking up two boxes of spaghetti and throwing them in her cart. “The last one was rubbish.”

James thinks he might confess his love right then and there, but forces his mouth to say different words. “BB-8 is the best thing to come out of them, so I respect the mask choice.”

“Thanks,” she says in a kind voice. “I originally wanted to get an Ahsoka mask, but they were out of stock.”

"Wait...where did you order your mask from?”

“Some sweet woman on Etsy,” she explains. “Not sure her real name, but her username is Thermopolis327. Maybe a Princess Diaries fan, although I only saw Star Wars designs.”

James could not believe his luck. “That’s my mum’s Etsy shop!”

“Your mum?” she asks in disbelief. “But isn’t her name Euphemia?”

“Yes,” he says, trying not to think too hard about the fact that she even remembers such a detail. “Euphemia. Mia. Mia Thermopolis, Princess of Genovia. Least coy alias name, but she is pretty proud of it.”

“It’s brilliant.”

“I’ll tell my mum as soon as she gets some Ahsoka fabric to send you one. But for now, better off that Ahsoka didn’t have to see Vader like this.”

She laughs, and James feels the pit in his stomach deepen at the sound. She contemplates two boxes of pasta. “What you say, James: penne or rigatoni?”

“Penne all the way,” he responds.

She tosses three boxes of penne in her cart. “Thanks. Still think it’s best to stock up on pasta since it doesn’t go bad, then I can avoid coming here as often.”

“Smart, you are,” he says without thinking. “I’m sure I’ll see your masterful pasta dishes during our next Zoom lunch final project meeting. Maybe you’ll still have left when it’s safe for us to have a proper meal together.”

He can see her face flush from the little skin that is not covered by her mask, and then realizes what he said. Before he can try to save himself from embarrassment, she does it for him. “That would be lovely. But we can also just eat pasta over Zoom while this is all going on once the project is over and, you know, talk about something other than Holden Caulfield’s obsession with where the ducks go in the winter.”

James laughs nervously, instinctually putting a hand in his hair, ruffling it. “Yeah, instead of discussing Holden calling everyone a phony we can talk about Anakin essentially calling the entire Jedi Council phonies.”

“I mean, they kind of are,” Lily shrugs. “But we can talk about anything, really. It doesn’t have to be restricted to fictional characters. Although, I wouldn’t mind if that were a hefty portion, either.”

James adjusts his glasses, which have fogged up a bit from his erratic breathing in his mask throughout this conversation. “Count me in.”

“It’s a date, then,” she declares, and as he can’t contain his smile, she laughs. “C’mon, it looks like you have next to nothing in your basket, and I’ve only just started myself. Let’s finish our run together. Six feet apart, of course. We’re both going to need some fuel to top off that Catcher project conclusion.”

“Roll on, BB. I’ll follow,” he says.

She winks, puts one foot on the shopping cart, the other on the ground to push forward, and does just that, leading the way.

#hp #hp fanfic #harry potter #jily #james potter x lily evans #AU #muggle AU #star wars

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parisakamali · 4 years

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congrats bie!! ❀ + shamina(.)creation! and my bday is jan 23 owo!!

hi shamina!!! thank you sm!! 💖 im very glad you decided to join!!! this got long cause i love everything you make so it’s under the cut 🙈

join my celebration uwu

❀ : ow man, everything you make is literally stunning, how exactly am i supposed to choose 😭 you’re one of my favourite creators and SUCH a game changer around here!!! every time you post an edit i find myself just sitting here questioning how was that made, how is that something people can just??? do??? i love seeing everything you make and i just know you’re gonna become better and better as time goes by, not even the sky is the limit when it comes to your talent! anyway, let’s choose:

this jason edit! this is one of those edits that made me analyze it over and over again just to figure out how you made it! the colours are so bright and so fun!! i love the contrast between the light grey and black, and the addition of that very bright teal, they fit together super well and it looks very cool. like sometimes you just see an edit and immediately think “yeah, this is cool cool” this is how i feel about all your edits

this draco edit! i adore the colour scheme!!! that shade of green is so pretty, very slytherin indeed. also, the font choice is immaculate, miss shamina! we love to see it! i love how you made the text, especially on the forth frame! the dark/light looks really dope!!

this nora moodboard! i love moodboards! i love cool ladies! i love doodles! and this has it all!!! the coloring is also super pretty, makes it look very warm and soft!! i especially like the little clouds and how they move, it’s really cute 🤍

this percy snapchat edit! social media edits are always so much fun! there are so many details i love about this, starting with piper’s username being pipermccool, the blue cake preparation, the little wave in percy’s name, and also!!! you even made him a bitmoji!!! i love this so much, it’s very accurate to who percy is imo 🌊 and also! your gifs are so smooth, nothing but respect!

THIS ANNABETH EDIT! the coolest thing i’ve ever seen!!! it’s so damn amazing, i have no words!! the fact that you spent 7 hours on it omg it really shows!!! there are so many elements to it, the colours are beautiful and the font choice is perfect!!! i love how you integrated the text with the art in the first and last panels, the second panel is... im obsessed!!! i cant even imagine how long that took, but it really pays off! my favorite must be the 3rd tho, not only bc of the yellow background, but i really like the texture you used and im a big big fan of cut out letters!!! this is one of those edits that prove you’re such a brilliant creator and you can do incredible things!

shoutout to this pjo + disneyplus edit! everyone mentions all the time. it looks so real, im sure a lot of people were confused upon seeing it and you should be hella proud of it!!! every time i see it i get more and more excited for the show!

another shoutout to this seaweed brain edit! because making cursive is SO HARD and you made this look flawless! i love the pictures and the coloring, but obviously the text is the main focus on the edit and it looks great. the quotes you chose are really cute and they make me miss percabeth a lot 🥺

thank you for blessing my dash with your beautiful creations, i hope you never doubt how talented you are and you will keep on making edits art!! have a beautiful day 💛

#shamina tag #mutuals #biecelebrates #chaseannabeth #human interaction

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dorkzrul · 4 years

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32 Reasons Why

Disclaimer: I do not own Percy Jackson and the Olympians.

Note: This is after the Second Titan War but Silena and Beckendorf never died and Percabeth never got together :(

<3<3<3

She yawned, sitting up on her bed. She got up to open the curtains of the cabin and “SURPRISE!!!”, yelled half the Aphrodite cabin. “What is going on. What's happening. Ughhhhh. It's too early for this!”, she cried, sleepily rubbing her eyes. “Don’t tell me you forgot, silly. It’s Valentine’s Day today!”, exclaimed Silena, perky as always. “Here you go!”, and she shoved a bunch of little pink bags covered in hearts, into Annabeth’s arms. “These are for the Athena Cabin, and Annabeth, there's something special in there for you”, she winked at Annabeth. Ugh, couldn't Silena know that the only person she’d ever want to receive a card from. Ugh!!! And now that Seaweed Brain was making her sappy. How could he not know that she liked her. For gods’ sake! Even the clueless Ares kids knew. She wanted to run over to his cabin (He was visiting camp for a week) and scream into his ear that she liked him. Here are the hints she has given him:

-She kissed him on the cheek.

-She asked him to ask her to dance.

-SHE FELL OFF A CLIFF FOR HIM!!!

-She refused the hunters for him.

-She agreed to dance with him up on Olympus.

-SHE KISSED HIM IN THE LABYRINTH!!!

-She was mad that he was at Calypso’s island while she thought he was dead.

-She was jealous of Rachel.

-SHE TOOK A KNIFE FOR HIM!!!

It was a pretty extensive list if she did say so herself. Hmm… maybe she should send him a card for Valentine’s Day. Anyways, gotta get to work. She segregated the cards and gifts and gave them to the respective Athena kids, and was rather surprised when she came across an envelope with her name untidily scrawled across the front. Her heart leapt. She’d recognize that handwriting anywhere, Percy’s. “Calm down Annabeth, it may just be a card telling how he thought of her as nothing more than a very good friend or maybe that she was like a sister to him”, she told herself. She opened the envelope and found a folded sheet of paper. ‘32 Reasons Why’, was written in big, bold letters on the top of the page. 32 reasons for what? She looked down and this is what she found.

You call me Seaweed Brain.

You let me call you Wise Girl, even though I know you hate nicknames.

What? Where was this going?

You have beautiful blonde hair.

You defy the stereotype “Dumb Blonde”.

You’re super smart.

You correct me when I mess up.

Your brilliant grey eyes.

Your tan skin that practically shines in the sun.

Your long legs.

Your pink lips.

She blushed at that. Had that Seaweed Brain been staring at her lips?

Just you (You’re beautiful you know)

You keep me on my toes.

You put up with my klutziness.

You put up with my Seaweed Brain-ness

You aren’t afraid of anything (except spiders).

You made me your official spider-killer.

You watch finding nemo and the little mermaid with me.

Oh my gods! The number of times she and Percy had cuddled on his couch and had a Disney movie marathon. She personally thought it was adorable how much he loved them, especially Finding Nemo and The Little Mermaid.

My mom loves you.

You love my mom.

You baked a cake for me (with Tyson’s help)

The first thing you ever said to me was “You drool in your sleep”.

You like Tyson even though you hate cyclops.

You kissed me on the cheek.

You fell off a cliff for me.

You danced with me.

You kissed me in the labyrinth.

You were jealous of Rachel (btw you looked adorable when you were jealous)

Wait! Percy thought she was adorable… And he had apparently known that she was jealous and still insisted Rachel come… SHE WAS GOING TO KILL HIM!!!

You took a knife for me.

I turned down immortality for you.

You kept me alive when I was in the River Styx (You are my mortal anchor to the world).

Huh, she hadn't known that.

You are going to march over to my cabin after you read this and either kill or kiss me.

He really did know her. She was going to-Wait! Kiss?

I am in love with you.

32 Reasons Why I Love You

He loved her! That Seaweed Brain loved her! She couldn’t even be mad at him right now. She was just so happy… and turning into one of those Aphrodite girls… UGH! WHAT WAS THIS SEAWEED BRAIN DOING TO HER?!?! She was going to march over to his cabin right now and give him a… hug! NO! That was not what she was going to do! She was mad at him!!! She was going to give him a slap. Right? She immediately went over to his cabin. He was sleeping, drooling all over his pillow. And then he said something; her name. Somehow the combined ideas of her seemingly being in his dream as well as him drooling made Annabeth blush a red so bright, tomatoes would be jealous. “Wake up Seaweed Brain!”, she cried, shoving him so hard, he almost fell off the bed. “5 more minutes mom”, Percy sleepily muttered. Then he opened his eyes. “ANNABETH!”, he yelled in surprise and fell off his bed. She laughed until she noticed he was only wearing boxers. Her face immediately became a blazing red. She turned away,”PUT SOME CLOTHES ON SEAWEED BRAIN!” He didn't seem to have realised until then and immediately ran to the washroom to get dressed, leaving her standing there blushing. She’d never admit it but Percy was HAWT! He finally came out, this time wearing clothes. Half of her was relieved, but the other half, the one she tried to push deep inside, was disappointed. “So. What's up?”, Percy asked, seemingly nonchalant. That idiot! Had he really forgotten about it? Then, the Aphrodite cabin knocked on his door and shoved a box into his arms when he opened it. The box must have had at least 50 letters, cards and gifts from adoring girls. Annabeth could feel the jealousy boiling up inside her. She so wanted to snatch the box from his arms and throw it far away. Percy was HERS! Fortunately though, it seemed to have reminded Percy of the letter. His face was rapidly turning red and was avoiding her gaze. Annabeth decided to make him wait and didn't say anything. For a minute or so, none of them said anything. Then Percy burst out, “Annabeth, I can't take this any longer! Have you read it yet?” “What are you talking about, Seaweed Brain?”, asked Annabeth, deciding to have some fun with this. “The letter!”, exclaimed Percy. “Oh! That letter!” “So you have read it” “Maybeee” “Annabeth! Just tell me please!”, Percy begged. “Yeah, I have read it”, said Annabeth nonchalantly. “Wise Girl, you’re killing me”, Percy moaned and fell on the bed. She kissed him, right on the lips. And he had some nice ones. He made a surprised sound against her mouth and for a moment she was afraid she did something wrong. But Percy immediately pulled her closer and started kissing her back with just as much passion. Annabeth pulled back, gasping for air. “Sooo, does this mean you like me too?”, Percy asked. She glared at him,”DO I HAVE TO TATTOO IT ACROSS MY FOREHEAD?! Yes, I like you Seaweed Brain!” Percy smiled goofily and kissed her again. “Perce, you in there?”, they heard one of the Stolls call and quickly jumped apart. “So there you are”, smirked Connor. “And it seems like it finally happened huh. The great getting together of PERCABETH. Hey Travis”, he called for his brother who came in grinning a minute later. “Time for Plan Percabeth!” “Omg! I knew this was going to happen”, cried Silena as she rushed in, dragging a couple of campers with her. “To the lake”, Clarisse declared, and they dumped the couple in the lake. Underwater, Percy made an air bubble and it was them who had the last laugh as everyone convenienlt forgot that Percy was the son of Poseidon. They stayed down there for ages, just talking and laughing. And maybe they made out a little; but nobody has to know!

<3<3<3

Hey guys, dorkzrul here! Hope you guys enjoyed this fanfic. I may write a partner one-shot thingy featuring other couples like jasper, solangelo, gruniper, etc. so stay tuned for that. And don’t forget to leave a review. It really means a lot. Constructive Criticism is always welcome. Thanks for reading! Dorkzrul, signing off!

This story is also available of Fanfiction.net and Wattpad with the same name and username.

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absoloutenonsense · 4 years

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While I wait in barely contained eager anticipation for the brilliant alien harry au of yours, I was wondering if you had any recs of other alien harry aus you've read & loved. Also, random question but I was wondering what is the inspo behind your url and tagline?? I genuinely am so so excited for your work!!! Hope you have a lovely day!

Omg this is so lovely! Truly, the response to that snippet had me shook, I wasn’t expecting people to like it as much as they did. But it did push me to think about it more and I’m sort of figuring out the plot now so, love that for me!

For my url - I wanted something with “Lou” in it, so I fudged it with absolute (and caused myself a handful of headaches in the process 😂). And the tagline... I literally cannot remember creating it, but it must’ve been in relation to my love of pet names. And it served as direct inspo when I was trying to come up with an AO3 username, so it all works out in the end.

Now for fic recs... somehow I only have three Alien Harry fics marked down! Which is wild because I know I’ve read more. Hope you find something new to love in one of these! Alien Roadtip! by HelloAmHere / @helloamhere

For the first time in his life, Louis doesn’t know where he’s going. Harry doesn’t mind.

OR: roadtrip with desert feelings, too much snack food, and empty motels. Harry is definitely absolutely not an alien. That would be ridiculous.

Only Been Here One Time by alienharry / @fourdrunksluts

“Good morning, Liam. Harry.” Louis nods at them both and then cocks his head. “Are you aware you have four nipples, Harry?”

Harry looks down at his chest, suddenly worried. He doesn’t know how many nipples humans have, but four must not be a usual amount. “Should I have six?”

“Not unless you’ve a litter of kittens to feed.”

The Alien!Harry fic I was destined to write

we’ve got to get away from here by suspendrs / @suspendrs

“It is my understanding that you are the most comprehensive member of this agency in the field of extraterrestrial life, is that right?” the agent asks. He’s trying to sound calm, but Louis can tell he’s shaken as well.

“Um, I guess so,” Louis says, glancing over at the man in the blanket again.

Suddenly, Louis’s blood runs cold. There’s something off about the man, something in his gaze, something Louis can’t put his finger on. It’s terribly unsettling, but excitement bubbles in his gut.

Or, Louis is an FBI agent who likes to think himself a paranormal expert, and Harry is the alien that somehow ended up in his office.

#Anonymous #alien harry au #I think I have actually settled fully on a hitchhiker's guide au which will let me be as wildly frivolous with it as I want #and these are all great alien harry aus #i guess catch me going through the alien harry tag on ao3 to find the other's i've lost!#thank you for this lovely message it was so nice to log on and see it waiting for me <3

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artificialqueens · 5 years

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Undone, Chapter 14 (Bitney) - Stephanie/Veronica

A/N: Welcome to Chapter 14 of UNDONE, our slow burn Bitney lesbian AU. Here’s a link to the previous chapters.

Summary: Bianca escapes to a gig in Atlanta at the perfect time, as things are getting real tense with Jared.

Thank you to everyone who beta’d while I changed around the plot 40 times: @kitschypixel @sheofthethrone @jillybean2314 @theartificialdane

TW: This story deals with themes of emotional abuse, and since that can be subtle, we’re going to keep a general TW on all of the chapters.

***

Bianca falls into bed beside Jared, sighing. Her buzz from dinner has unfortunately worn off and now she just feels tired. She glances over at Jared, who seems to be ignoring her, tapping furiously at his phone, brow furrowed.

She picks up her own phone, scrolling absentmindedly through Instagram. She pauses on Courtney’s latest picture: she’s in Sydney, at the Mardi Gras parade, surrounded by throngs of colorful revelers, covered in glitter, rainbow streaks in her hair. Her expression is jubilant, ecstatic.

Bianca likes the photo, begins to slowly type out a comment. “You look like...” her fingers hover over the keys, stomach twisting. Joy. Perfection. Everything I have ever wanted.

“What are you lookin’ at?” Jared asks, turning onto his side.

"Oh, um, my friend is in Sydney for Mardi Gras. It looks crazy,” Bianca answers.

“That Australian girl from the show? The lesbian?"

"Uh, yeah." Bianca is a little surprised that Jared made the connection. But, she supposes that she has mentioned Courtney to him a few times before. She’s certainly not trying to hide anything.

Jared moves a little closer, asking, “What does she look like? Is she cute?" He tries to grab her phone and she jumps away.

“Stop!”

Jared laughs, now enjoying the struggle.

"Why won't you let me see her?!"

"I'm in the middle of writing a comment!"

“So what?! Give me the phone!"

Bianca quickly deletes what she was writing, cheeks burning with...something. She’s not sure what, but she feels a little hot and wonders if maybe the alcohol from earlier hasn’t quite worn off like she thought. She gulps, handing over the phone and watching his face carefully.

"Daaaaamn..." Jared lets out a low whistle, clicking on Courtney’s username and checking out her other recent pictures. “Are you sure she’s a lesbian?”

“Uh, yeah. Pretty sure,” Bianca answers, slightly irritated.

“Huh. She doesn’t look like one. She looks...sexy.”

Bianca isn’t sure why that comment annoys her so much, but she doesn’t like the expression on his face as he scrolls through the pictures. It almost feels like he’s stealing something from her. When he double-taps a picture from last autumn, Bianca quickly snatches the phone back.

"What are you doing?!" she shrieks, and he begins to laugh.

"I just liked a picture, what?"

“But...but we're friends, and that was like, a thot picture of her in a bathing suit, from like months ago, you can't-oh my god..."

“Who cares?"

Bianca sighs and patiently asks, “If Willam posted a picture of his ass, would you like it?”

“Uh...if he looked like her, yeah.”

“Way to miss the point.”

“Okay, so just unlike it then. Or tell her it was me.”

Bianca stares at him for a moment before exclaiming, “That’s even worse!”

“B…” A sly smile spreads across Jared’s face. He leans in and murmurs, “Do you have a crush on this girl?” He presses a kiss to her neck.

“Stop it,” Bianca says, pulling away. “Of course not.”

“Yeah, you do,” he insists, arms sliding back around her. “You naughty girl.”

“I don’t-”

“It's okay, baby, it's hot.” Jared nuzzles her ear, hard dick against her hip. “My bad girl. Should I punish you?”

“Jared-”

“Remember that girl junior year? The redhead?”

Bianca’s stomach is tight, her breath shallow. Another protest is on the tip of her tongue, but seeing his sleepy-eyed leer, she relents, letting him pin her wrists over her head, climb on top of her.

“Don’t be ashamed, babe. I told you, it��s hot,” he says, smirking down at her.

Bianca nods, biting her lip. She supposes that she should be grateful. Not all husbands would be this open-minded. This forgiving.

“I mean, if it was a guy, I’d have to kill him. But…” Jared laughs, a hollow laugh that makes Bianca shiver. “But this? I’m into it.”

Bianca stares up at the ceiling, blinking back tears. Where the fuck did those come from? She brushes them away angrily, closing her eyes, while he slides down her pajama bottoms.

***

Courtney flops down onto her sofa, finally home after almost 18 hours of traveling. She breathes a sigh of relief and picks up her phone. Her first message sounds way too needy, and she quickly deletes it, trying to think of a way to say what she wants without being such an obvious jet-lagged emotional mess.

COURTNEY: I really miss the way you manhandle my seams <3

BIANCA: lol, you’re an idiot <3

COURTNEY: When do you leave for Atlanta?

BIANCA: Saturday.

COURTNEY: Shit. Maybe we can do lunch sometime this week?

BIANCA: I wish. I’m so fucking slammed with prep. I don’t even know when I’m gonna pack.

Courtney lets her head fall backwards, deflating a little. She’s been getting the sense that Bianca was pulling away, although sometimes it’s hard to tell if it’s real or just all in her head. The idea of waiting months before seeing her again is a crushing blow, but she doesn’t want to make her feel bad.

COURTNEY: Ok. I’ll let you get back to it then. Have a safe trip. <3

***

Bianca stares out the window at the puffy white clouds, a sense of relief making her feel more relaxed than she remembers being in...years, maybe. Maybe the most relaxed she’d ever been sober.

She hates to admit how tense things have been with Jared lately. But after she’d kissed him goodbye and gotten into the uber, it was as if every cell in her body exhaled.

Or, maybe it’s just the excitement of finally being a department head, for a beautiful little indie film set in the 1960s. Finally having a project where her creative vision would be fully realized, the director and producer basically giving her carte blanche because they loved her preliminary sketches so much. And of course, there’s the fact that she’ll be living in the same city as Latrice for the first time since high school. That must be it.

She smiles, bending down to drop a few treats into the dogs’ travel bag.

***

Bianca yanks open the door of the little sidewalk cafe and rushes over to Latrice - her oldest friend, the person who knows her best in the world. She throws herself into Latrice’s arms, the taller woman letting out a deep laugh as she embraces her tightly, saying, “I missed you, too, gorgeous.”

Once they’re seated, Latrice pushes a glass of sweet tea over to Bianca.

“Alright. Give me the latest. What’s going on? How’s your team? How’s Prince Charming coping with you being gone?”

“The crew’s great, I’m really excited about this show. And...he’ll be fine.”

“Are you sure about that?” Latrice asks with a chuckle. “Remember when we went to Barbados and he called you 20 times a day? That boy can barely breathe without you.”

“Well, he’s busy too,” Bianca says, feeling just a little defensive. Jared had spent her last 2 weeks in LA going on and on about what a sacrifice he was making, how hard her absence was going to be for him, how grateful she should be that he was so understanding. By the end, she had conceded every point out of pure exhaustion.

“Sure, I know. But...it’s hard to make a baby long distance. Is he gonna come visit for Game Day?”

Bianca forces a laugh.

“No, I don’t think so. Actually, I haven’t even been tracking for a couple months.”

“Really? Just letting Jesus take the wheel?”

“Yeah. Well…I mean, it’s been such a stressful process. And the last doctor I saw basically told me that I was like...trying too hard. And also...” Bianca trails off, looking down. She hasn’t admitted the next part out loud yet. Maybe she hasn’t even admitted it to herself.

Latrice covers Bianca’s hand with her own.

“Yeah?”

“I dunno. I guess…” Bianca looks away. “I’ve been having some doubts about whether we’re even meant to...have kids. What if it hasn’t happened for a reason?”

“B…” Latrice pauses, searching for the best way to respond.

“...well, isn’t it possible? Que sera sera and all that shit.”

“You know, someday, you’re gonna give yourself a break from all this neurotic self torture. And that will be a beautiful day,” Latrice says.

“You’re right.” Bianca clears her throat. “I just need to chill. Obviously. But...enough about my bullshit. Tell me about the wedding plans!”

***

Work is slow for Courtney in the spring, so she asks her old modeling agents to toss her some commercial work. When she learns about the first job they booked for her, she doesn’t know whether to be horrified or proud. It’s a pretty big print ad campaign, for Johnson & Johnson. She’s playing a mother, lovingly placing a BandAid on her baby. When Bianca learns of the whole thing via text, she’s utterly amused.

BIANCA: BAHAHAHAHAHA

BIANCA: Should I call you Mommy now?

COURTNEY: If that’s what you’re into ;)

BIANCA: omg

COURTNEY: It’s cool, I don’t kink shame

BIANCA: SHUT UP OMG

Later in the week, she texts Bianca from the set to give her an update, curled in a chair in the greenroom.

COURTNEY: OK so I’m at this shoot, and they tell me they want me to show some “respectable mum cleavage” in the shot when I lean over to put the band-aid on the kid. I LOL’d IRL, because hello? Wrong girl.

BIANCA: lol awwww. Can’t relate.

COURTNEY: Thanks, I’m WELL aware

BIANCA: ;)

COURTNEY: So their brilliant solution was to tape me into this wonderbra/bustier thing, and to further emphasize my (lack of) tits, they are contouring and highlighting the fuck out of my chest. I feel like a goddamn drag queen.

BIANCA: HAHA, you would be the worst drag queen. Do you even own makeup?

COURTNEY: MEANWHILE this damn baby is just sitting over in the corner drooling. He better not be making more than me.

BIANCA: He probably is. Needed: Caucasian baby, must not roll eyes when co-star waxes poetic about vegan pudding for 30 minutes.

COURTNEY: IF YOU ARE IMPLYING THAT THE VEGGIE GRILL PUDDING ISNT WORTHY OF POETRY THEN YOURE A DEMON

BIANCA: Calm down, crazy

COURTNEY: Omg they just applied the fake wound to him and it’s a little horrible looking. I’m actually worried that I might not put this band-aid on him properly. What if he bleeds out and dies? I don’t think I’m ready for motherhood. I CANT TAKE THIS PRESSURE

BIANCA: You’re gonna be fine. ;P

COURTNEY: Okay he made it. Phew.

BIANCA: I was on pins and needles.

It’s like an addiction, this need to share everything with Bianca. To make her laugh, to get her feedback, to know all of the mundane details of her day. To connect, as often as possible. Courtney knows that she’s in way over her head, but she doesn’t care. She just wants more.

***

Bianca doubles over laughing as Chris recounts a story of trying to take Latrice white water rafting. Latrice tries to chime in and dispute some of his facts, but she’s laughing too hard to be very effective.

“Honestly Chris. What on earth made you think that was a good idea?!” Bianca asks him, wiping tears from her eyes. She takes a sip of her wine and helps them load plates into the dishwasher.

“I...I don’t know. Seemed like an adventure?” Chris says with a sheepish grin. He places a newly washed pan in the drying rack.

“Lesson learned!” Latrice pipes up, sliding the leftovers into the fridge. “Now go away so we can talk about your dick.”

“You could just say that you wanna chill with your friend,” Chris laughs, kissing her on the cheek as he sails out the door.

Latrice slings an arm over Bianca’s shoulder and guides her into the living room.

“I’m really glad that I’m getting to know Chris better,” Bianca says, settling onto the sofa. “He’s just so great.”

“He is. I’m very lucky.”

“Well, you’re both lucky.” She flashes a grin and Latrice smiles back.

“How about you? How are you doing?”

“Good! Yeah, the show is humming along, the crew is better than I thought, it’s been…” Bianca shrugs, letting out a contented sigh. “It’s been amazing.”

“And...how’s Prince Charming? Still surviving without you?”

“He’s okay. Actually...” Bianca bites her lip nervously. “To be honest, it’s been kind of wonderful to be on my own. I haven’t really thought about him that much.”

Latrice raises an eyebrow.

“I know, it’s awful, right? I’m a terrible wife.”

“Of course not. Everyone needs some alone time, B. But...is it more than that?”

“No!” Bianca exclaims, a little too vehemently, then asks, “...Why?”

“You just seem a little tense every time I mention him.”

“Yeah, I don’t know.” Bianca looks down, fighting the urge to guzzle her entire glass of wine in one gulp.

“Are things okay with you guys? You know, it’s okay to have issues. Every couple goes through ups and downs. You don’t have to be perfect all the time-”

“I know that!” Bianca sighs. “Anyway, it’s nothing to do with him. Or…”

“I’m listening.”

“I think I may have...um...fallen for someone else.”

“You did what now?” Latrice sits back, eyebrow raised in judgment.

“Don’t look at me like that,” Bianca says, eyes downcast. “I haven’t done anything.”

“I just wonder how many years this boy has to jump through hoops before you see how good he is to you,” Latrice sighs.

Bianca swallows.

“I mean, come on, B. Is there really someone better out there? Or is this just more of the same commitment-phobic stuff that you’ve been putting him through since college?”

“Stop. Forget it. I’m sure this time away will...make me realize how much I miss him, and-”

“I just don’t know why you torture yourself. And him. He worships you. Why can’t you enjoy it? And who is this other person? Your typical pretty boy type?” Latrice asks.

“She’s-”

“Oh, so we’re back to girls, eh?” Latrice teases. “That’s fun.”

“It’s really annoying when you pretend not to know how bisexuality works,” Bianca informs her.

“Sorry, sorry,” Latrice rolls her eyes. “And does she grovel at your feet, like your husband?” The disapproval drips from her tone.

“No...she...it’s a totally different situation.” Bianca presses her lips together. She’s trying not to squirm, not to appear too gleeful, but thinking about Courtney always causes her to get a little giddy.

“Alright, go ahead. I can tell you’re dying to tell me all about her. Just remember, Jesus is listening.”

“Noted,” Bianca says, then leans forward, lowering her voice for some reason. Maybe to make things a little harder for Jesus to hear. “She’s...like...unbelievably gorgeous...but that’s not even the best thing about her. I mean, she’s sexy, but also so smart, and fun, and like...she has this charming, effervescent personality...I’m so fucked.”

“Yeah, sounds like it,” Latrice sighs. “Well...I mean, how deep are these feelings? Is it like, a crush, or…?”

“I think it started out that way,” Bianca admits. “Things are just like...I feel more myself when I’m with her. It’s like being with you.”

“Are you hitting on me now?”

“No,” Bianca laughs. “I just mean that like...I don’t know, the attraction is always there, right? But also, we’re friends.”

“You’re not friends with Jared?”

“It’s just...different with him. It’s more tense. More...complicated.”

“Couldn’t that just be a case of...you know, the grass is always greener on the other side?”

“It could be…” Bianca pauses thoughtfully, sipping her wine.

“Because you know, every relationship is complicated. But there’s a reason that you guys are still together, right? I mean, he suffered through that endless engagement. That means something.”

“It does. But Courtney-that’s her name, by the way.”

“Courtney,” Latrice mimics in a Valley-girl accent, making Bianca laugh a little. “Ugh. You would fall for a Courtney.”

Bianca smirks, then sighs. “Well, for starters, she doesn’t make me feel like my career is a pointless waste of time…”

Latrice opens her mouth, but then stops. It had been a throwaway comment, but something about it made her pause. For years, all Latrice heard about was how much Jared worshipped Bianca. His endless love and affection and understanding. The idea of him thinking that anything she does is a ‘pointless waste of time’ is...incongruous in a way that makes a giant red flag flash for Latrice. She tilts her head, careful to pay extra attention to what Bianca is saying, and particularly the way she’s fidgeting, the anxious look in her eyes.

“...and, I guess...spending time with her made me realize how often I’m walking on pins and needles around Jared. He’s so moody, and I...I thought it was me. You know, because I can be...”

Latrice frowns.

“You can be what?”

“I mean, I push people’s buttons. I’m not sensitive, and I make people upset. You know, you’ve seen it,” Bianca sighs.

“What are you talking about, B?”

“Well, like, remember in high school, with Alyssa?” Bianca begins tearing up the napkin in her hands.

“Yeah, I remember Alyssa, but what-”

“You know, I would say the wrong thing, trying to be funny or whatever, and she’d like, lose it. Remember? I was always making her cry, or-”

“Bianca, Alyssa was crazy. Like, legit bonkers. That wasn’t your fault, at all.” Latrice reaches out to grasp her hand.

“But I made it worse. I mean, I certainly didn’t help,” Bianca insists.

“Okay, sure. Because you were 17 years old. Not a mental health care professional. It still wasn’t your fault.”

Bianca looks down, and Latrice swallows.

“What does this have to do with Jared, though? Does he...I mean, is he as volatile as her? Because-”

“No, of course not.”

“So…”

Bianca takes a deep breath.

“He just...sometimes...gets...upset, and angry. Really angry, and I…it makes me...” Bianca wipes a tear from the corner of her eye. “It’s unsettling, like I don’t know...when the rug’s gonna be yanked out from under my feet, and…and I don’t know if it would be right to bring a child into that...”

Latrice moves closer to her on the sofa, something clicking in her mind and filling her with fear and guilt. She feels like the worst friend in the world for not seeing it, for believing the stories, for failing to probe deeper before now. She squeezes Bianca’s hand a little, before asking softly, “B...has he ever hurt you?”

“No! God, no. Forget it, this is...I’m obviously just being dramatic, you know, so-”

“But he makes you feel...scared?”

“Not scared, exactly. Just...uneasy. Sometimes. I’m blowing this totally out of proportion. Probably just, like, to ease my own guilt about being a shitty wife who pisses him off and then fantasizes about my coworker like a dumb fucking-”

“Okay! Okay, so, let’s say, for a second, that you’re not blowing things out of proportion.”

“But I am. I mean you thought I was trying to say that he-” Bianca’s breath hitches. “He would never-”

“Okay.” Latrice holds up her hands. She can see that the vulnerable part of their conversation is over, and she doesn’t want to push Bianca any more, so instead she gets down to business. “I believe you. But...if things get worse, or...have you thought about what you would actually do? Where you would go? Do you have your own bank account, credit cards? Is everything joint, or-”

“Latrice, stop. This is ridiculous, I’m not some battered wife who needs-”

“No, but...you still might want to leave, at some point, so...didn’t you sign a pre-nup? What if he tries to claim that you cheated? Are his parents vindictive? We know the answers to all of these questions and you are totally fucked. You need to open a bank account, stat.”

Bianca looks down, tears rolling down her cheeks.

“I’m not leaving, I already know that. And you were the one defending him ten minutes ago, so I don’t understand-”

“I know! I know, but...this is just a safety net, okay? Plan B. In case things get worse and you need... Look, Plan A is still that you stay married, and work out whatever you need to, and have a long life and beautiful children who will grow up as spoiled as your horrible little rat dogs.”

Bianca begins to laugh through her tears, crawling into Latrice’s arms.

“Why do I do this? Why do I ruin things?”

“Hey.” Latrice takes Bianca’s face in her hands. “I’m sorry if it felt like I was taking his side over yours...I’m on your side, always, okay?”

Bianca nods, letting her friend rock her, stroking her hair and telling her that everything is going to work out.

***

“Oh man,” Bianca groans, sinking into her bed. The dogs are going crazy, smelling everything and jumping all over her. “You guys excited to be home? Huh?” she asks, scratching Dede behind the ears.

“Not as excited as I am to have you back…” Jared says, sliding in beside her.

Bianca turns to look at him. Maybe there was something to that whole ‘absence makes the heart grow fonder’ after all. She smiles and runs her fingers through his hair.

“So...you missed me?”

“Like crazy,” Jared murmurs, nuzzling closer.

For a moment, Bianca feels utterly content, sleepy eyes falling closed. But then, as his hands move to her fly, popping the button, she wriggles away, sitting up a little.

“Seriously? It’s been over 2 months,” Jared whines, pulling her back down.

“I know, but I’m just...I’ve been traveling all day. I’m exhausted, and I feel filthy, and-”

“I like you filthy,” he growls into her ear. “Come on…”

“Jared…” she pushes him away harder.

“Fine! I got the fucking hint. You don’t have to be such a…” he scoffs. “Forget it.”

“I’m sorry. I just need to like, rest and then shower, and-”

“Whatever, Bianca. I’m a monster for wanting to have sex with my wife. Message received.” He rises from the bed.

Bianca doesn’t have the energy to chase after him. Not today. She falls back against the pillows with a groan.

***

They have a luxurious three weeks to prep season two of Silver Screens, and by the first shoot day, Bianca’s confidence in her work is soaring. Beth has trusted her more than ever, and she’s now designing nearly half of the costumes on the show. But as good as she feels about her job, nothing compares to the heart-bursting joy she feels when the trailer door swings open and Courtney comes flying into her arms, practically knocking her over.

“Hey!” Bianca says, hugging her tightly. She inhales deeply, loving the way Courtney melts into her arms, face tucked into the crook of her neck as if it belongs there. An embarrassing heat creeps into her cheeks as she pulls back a little. “How have you been?”

“Pretty good! Just got back from that music video shoot in Seattle. What about you? How was Atlanta? I’m so proud of you!”

“It was good. You know me, I love to boss people around.”

“And you’re so good at it,” Courtney says, still gripping both of her hands tightly. She glances down and then says, “Hey, where’d your nails go?”

“Oh, uh. Yeah, they kept breaking, so…” Bianca’s usual French tips have been replaced by short, shiny red nails.

“Hmm. I like these a lot better.” Her eyes dance mischievously. “They’re, uh...very practical.”

“Is your mind always in the gutter?” Bianca asks, cheeks burning, palms itching. She has an instinct to rip her hands away, but doesn’t.

“What?! I just said I like them,” Courtney giggles, squeezing Bianca’s fingers, gazing up at her with glittering eyes. “So, are we gonna hang out before the season starts to kick your ass? I really missed you.”

Bianca clears her throat and pulls up a stool, trying to cover the fact that she’s literally weak at the knees.

“Uh...sure...”

“Are you free Saturday?” Courtney asks.

“Actually, no. One of Jared’s douchey coworkers is having a barbecue, let’s-get-fucked-up-cause-it’s-summer type thing. And I promised his fiancée that I’d go, so...ugh. Saturday with the bros.”

“Sounds enchanting,” Courtney laughs.

“You should come!” Bianca blurts out, and then adds, “I mean, if you want. Willam is gross but he does know how to throw a party. And the house is supposed to be really cool, so...”

“That is an enticing offer…” Courtney tilts her head, pretending to think it over.

Bianca leans in. “I’m not gonna beg.”

“Well, that spoils all the fun,” Courtney tells her, eyes glimmering.

“Ha ha. Nevermind-”

“B…” Courtney places a hand on her shoulder. “You had me at ‘douchey coworker.’”

#rpdr fanfiction #bianca del rio #courtney act #bitney #latrice royale #lesbian au #slow burn #fluff #angst #undone #stephanie #veronica #tw emotional abuse #concrit welcome

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starkerforlife6969 · 5 years

Text

REPLYING TO ANON MESSAGES

This is another lengthy reply to all those lovely messages so I don’t spam you! Once again, no prompts filled here- they would be separate posts, so if you’re waiting on a fill, i promise it’ll come through eventually XD All you need to know is there will be a part 4 to the Mafia AU with Starker, Winterspider, Spidershield and Strange x Peter. It’ll be about two weeks but it is happening and I’ll let you all know! Keep sending me amazing ideas and being as gorgeous and wonderful as always.

1) So um I was the person that randomly confessed to you the other day and I sent another ask to confirm that it was indeed you who I was massively crushing on and you were thinking it might be another blog,no it’s 100% you.Idk what tumblr did to that ask I feel like it disappeared but I just wanted to make sure that you know it was you bc how can you even doubt someone could be crushing on you I literally feel like Peter in every starker fic ever when he sees Tony whenever I see your username im-

Hello, gorgeous! Yes, I did get your other message but i’m so sorry I didn’t reply! It’s been so hectic and I’ve been travelling :(( but i am so flattered. I don’t know why because i am certain you could have anyone with how kind you are. You are the sweetest thing ever and you are such a darling I cannot even deal with it. You can message me whenever you like, or stay anonymous if you feel more comfortable <3, but there’s no need to be nervous, honeybee! IM NERVOUS because i can never ever live up to your adorableness hahaha. Stay as beautiful as I know you are! xxx

2) @thebadthingshappen: I just wanted to say that your writing is really amazing and a great inspiration as someone who wants to start writing starker. I always look forward to your updates and appreciate the time and effort you put into everything. If you ever need someone to talk to or bounce ideas off of I’m here and my inbox is always open. :D

First, um, I love your username so hard. I read it entirely in Peter’s voice. Second, this is the sweetest thing ever oh my gosh. I ALWAYS WANT SOMEONE TO TALK TO so I’d love to message you!!!! The next time I’m stuck for ideas i’ll come and spam you! Or you can message me whenever ;) x

3) ConstructionWorkerTony-anon here. Just... Thank you! 💕💕💕 that was great :)

NO THANK YOU. I’m so happy you liked it, because I know I added a bunch of kinks you didn’t ask for and I got worried but -yay!!!!

4) @hunka-munka OMG I JUST FINISHED READING YOUR MAFIA STARKER FIC AND I AM IN LOOOOOOOVEEEEE omg omg I'm going through so many emotions 🙈first off I adooooooore how you wrote bucky I squealed in every scene he was in lol that ending for the 3rd part slaayyyyyed me are you planning on doing a 4th part??? I absolutely love the different dynamics between Peter and the rest of the characters it's so much fun to read about. Sorry for the long ask aaaaahhh i just needed to scream about it!!!!

THANK YOU SO MUCH THIS MADE MY WHOLE DAY. Ahhhhhh, you are so sweet!!! I am planning a fourth part! It’s pretty much planned (and you will have more bucky, you precious bean) but it’s going to take a while to write cuz my classes start back up again :(( I’ll let you know when it’s out though! (should be about 2 weeks!)

5) @hoe4parker I JUST READ THE THIRD PART OF THE MAFIA FIC W BUCKY AND STEVE AND TONY AS PETER’S DADDIES AND IT WAS SO SO SO GOOD

Yeah, I don’t deserve you, let’s be real. You guys are all so frickin kind I can’t even deal with it.

6) Oh my god!!!!!! Mild social anxiety anon here to tell you that part 3 is amazing!!!!

*sobs with appreciation* honey!!!!! I can get mild social anxiety sometimes too, and you are so amazing and AHHHH I LOVE YOU SO MUCH, this put a huge smile on my face!!!!

7) Ahhhh.... Part 3 was excellent!... I kind of wish Steve and Bucky had a thing and at some point they kiss (just a loving kiss... or fuck you know, whatever) and Peter see's it and gets sad or maybe he had a bad day and Tony's somewhere and he just wanted to get home and fuck or cuddle one of them and then he see's that and he's jealous. That'd be fun. I'm such a sucker for angst and conflict... and hate-fucking. Great stuff xd Seriously, I love this series though... -🦊

Honey, I’m sorry I’m answering this in this section because that means it won’t get filled :(( but that’s only because I’ll ship peter with everyone, and even though i think steve and bucky is the cutest thing ever, I just don’t write them very well :(( IM SORRY HONEY that being said, i love angst and conflict too, so maybe there’ll be some more of that sometime!!!! thank you so much foxy, for your lovely comments seriously, they made me so happy.

8) The Mafia Boss Tony Part 3 was stunning and for some reason the very end was funny to me... I think it's cause I have PTSD and still get panic attacks and occasionally pass out from them but they're acting like he died. And my head is just like 'Guys. Calm the fuck down. Put some actual clothing on the kid so he's warm enough. Lie him down. Yes, have someone in there to check his breathing. He's gonna be a little disoriented... but he's not dead guys... calm the hell down'. It's brilliant XD

Dude, I died laughing XD I get panic attacks sometimes (very mild and no ptsd, but you do and ahhhh I was so scared you were gonna say I messed it up but you didn’t and you’re so sweet!!! And honey, I’m sorry you have them :( but i know you’re strong and amazing <3) and they do overreact so much but it’s like my god awful attempt at drama hahaha, thank you so much for this comment, it honestly made me so happy.

9) Is there going to be a fourth mafia au? I’m in love with the ones have posted ❤️❤️

YES THERE WILL BE BECAUSE LOVELY PEOPLE LIKE YOU ARE SO ENCOURAGING

10) MAFIA PART 3 OH MY GOD im :(( abt peter like i want my babey safe and feelin good awh ((also i love your writing sm ur so good))

seriously. I don’t deserve you. you guys are all gonna get such good karma with all the positivity you put out into the world. I’m so happy you enjoyed it! x PS, Peter will be feeling good, hahaha, he’s gonna get spoilt rotten by everyone.

10) @aggressively-precious AYE part two of your mafia AU is a goddamn GIFT you're my hero xo

YOU are a gift, seriously. thank you for existing and bringing joy into my life.

11) this fandom is full of talented and sweet people, I'm so thankful for having y'all really. have a nice day love ❤

*sobs* it really is! thank YOOUUUU

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curlswithcreativity · 6 years

Text

Attention - Tom Holland x Reader (Part One)

Prompt: Brittney and I like to send pictures back and forth. Sometimes in happens when I’m in class. We came to the realization that Boyfriend!Tom would almost definitely do it just for the joy of making you feel flustered. Some of the dialogue is stripped right from our conversation

A/N: I’m so sorry. It’s literally been so long since I posted that I had to look up how I formatted my fics. I’m back at school full time and it’s kicking my ass!! Also this is my first TH fic soooo... comments would be lovely! Also, this is a two parter because I didn’t like how it was turning out, so I just split off the end. I’ll post the rest tomorrow

Marvel & Marvel Cast Masterlist | Complete Writing Masterpost

Part Two

___

A tired sigh escaped your lips as you scribbled down your notes, your professor’s tangent failing to hold your attention. Your four-hour block of classes was almost done and you couldn’t wait for the short 30-minute break before the final four-hour block began. You needed to grab something to eat and quickly.

Absent-mindedly, your hand trailed over to your phone to check the time. When the light of your screen came on, the familiar Snapchat banner that accompanied a new message derailed you. The small little red ghost icon followed by the name “Tom 🐸 💖” made you smile instinctively.

Tom would frequently send you snaps to brighten your day and to help break up the monotony of your long lectures. The thought of a cutely framed photo of Tessa had you clicking on the banner urgently, your desire to see a cute dog in an equally cute or funny scenario incredibly strong.

Upon opening the app and message, you nearly dropped your phone in your haste to discreetly hide your screen. Tom apparently fresh from the shower had sent you a shirtless photo, his damp curls stuck to his forehead as he gave you a mischievous smirk. The towel he was wearing hung low around his hips providing ample view of his wet, well-defined abs. It was nothing you hadn’t seen before, but in the context of your lecture hall, you felt your cheeks quickly gaining a healthy flush.

The banner that flashed across the top of your screen showed another new snap, and you twisted your hand to cover your face as you clicked on it warily. The photo showed the towel that had previously been wrapped around Tom’s hips now in his outstretched hand. The white towel was a stark contrast against the warm colours you had chosen for your bedroom, and considering Tom’s toned forearm and that damn towel were the only thing in frame, you had little else to focus on.

This time when the small ghost appeared again at the top of your screen, first red, and then purple to indicate he had sent you a video, you turned your phone’s screen off and placed the device face down against the desk. Your face burned hotly and your heart raced as you squirmed in your seat. You forced yourself to breathe deeply, reaching for your pen and re-entering the password to your laptop that had fallen dark in your moments of distraction.

Right, you thought as you shook your head, focus on the Olympian Twelve. Do not think about the fact your incredibly attractive boyfriend almost definitely just sent you nudes.

The subtle buzz of your phone against the lecture hall desk drew your attention away from the discussion regarding the nuisances of myths and legends. Your brow furrowed; you had your phone set to do not disturb, with the exception of a very select group of individuals. Ever since you had started dating Tom, your previously respectable number of notifications had skyrocketed, and the constant chime of your phone was not welcome in academic settings.

Once more, curiosity got the better of you and you reluctantly turned over your phone to discover that although the banner was different, the sender was the same.

TOM HOLLAND (7)

You pulled down the notification with a swipe of your finger and quickly scanned the messages.

“Why didn’t you open my picture 😞”

“I made you a special video, darling ;)”

“Y/N!!!”

“Love you, gorgeous xxx”

“Answerrrrr myyyyyy messagesssss”

“Do you not love me? If you did you would open my video ;)”

“Respond plz”

You turned off your phone completely after that. There were only 20 minutes left in your lecture and he could wait that long. Maybe you would make it longer if he continued in his current vein, you thought as an email from him with the subject “LOVE, COME ON” flashed in the upper-hand corner of your laptop screen. You didn’t bother to read the preview.

The next 10 minutes were rather uneventful, and you hoped that Tom had finally gotten the hint. He was well aware of your schedule’s busy nature despite its stark contrast to his own. For the most part, he respected that.

“Hey guys, it’s me, Tom Holland.”

Your head whipped around in your seat, the sound of Tom’s voice coming through a tinny phone speaker an unexpected occurrence in your Classic Mythology lecture. The girl who was holding the phone shot you an apologetic look devoid of recognition as she lowered her volume. You sunk into your seat- despite the new sound level you could still hear the clear, familiar chatter of your boyfriend’s voice.

“Oh, hello marj1091 and… sorry, I can’t see your usernames anymore, they’re going by too quickly.” There was the familiar sound of your creaking bed and a loud huff, which made you think that Tom had thrown himself down in his typical fashion.

“Right.” Tom stated, a small pause following his voice as the sound of things moving flowed through the speaker. “I’m on live right now because I’m feeling incredibly ignored by a certain someone who is very dear to me.”

You had been so distracted by his dialogue that you had missed your class dismissal. Suddenly, the seats around you were emptying and Tom’s voice was being covered by the sound of squeaking chairs and hurried steps. As you gathered your things, you stared at your phone hesitantly before turning it back on. You were intrigued now, if not still a little irritated, about what he was saying about you. Walking outside of the lecture hall, you clasped your phone tightly in your hand as you scrolled through your folders to find the multi-coloured camera icon. You cringed when you noticed you had been tagged in a photo and now had almost 1500 new notifications and mentions.

The newest addition to your tagged page had Tom’s face filling your screen, his hair much less damp than in the photos he had sent you and his muscled chest now covered by a heather grey t-shirt. He was pouting as he clutched tightly to Tess, the dog somehow managing to look forlorn as well. The caption read, “When she’s ignoring you because she’s “being responsible”… Quite sure Tess thinks she’s gone forever.”

It would have been cute if it weren’t so blatantly manipulative.

Your teeth ground together as you looked for a safe spot to stop that was not in the way of the ongoing foot traffic. Settling on a nearly empty bench, you sighed despite yourself; you had to admit… he did look good. And that was infuriating given your current need to focus on getting through your school day. His stream was still running, and against your better judgement you pulled it up to catch him in the middle of a conversation.

“Look, I love that she’s going to class and learning. She’s absolutely brilliant and I’m so proud of her. But being home alone all day is rubbish. What am I supposed to do—?” Oh come on, Thomas, you thought, I’m sure you can think of something. “—Just wait? She should just stay home, it’s better for all of us.” He trailed off, his lips quirking up into a faint smile as he read through the comments, shifting in his spot as you let out a small huff. He nodded his head, reaching for something just out of frame as he spoke.

“Right, if you’re just joining us now,” Tom said as he held up a photo to his phone’s camera. Your face, smiling brightly as he planted a kiss on your cheek, came into focus as he repositioned the photo and let out a dramatic sigh. “The live stream is dedicated to remembering my girlfriend, Y/N. She’s not dead, she’s just ignoring me because she’s in lectures all day.”

You rolled your eyes and resisted the urge to comment, allowing others to do it for you.

“I’M fUCKING DEAD HAHAHAHAHAHA”

“tom ur such a little baby”

“omg Y/N sucks. Who cares about school when you’re dating Tom Holland????”

“take off your shirt!!!”

“tom, you’re literally the loving boyfriend meme and its gross”

“uh, I’m pretty sure I just saw her join the stream?”

The last comment made you pause, and you watched as Tom processed the slow feed. He had apparently missed the notification that you had joined in his dramatic presentation, his face breaking into a beaming smile. You felt your lips lifting upwards instinctively despite your mild irritation.

“Did she actually? That’s brilliant, I thought she would have turned off her phone. Y/N/N, are you paying attention to me now, love?” He was smiling broadly as he clicked through the viewers before finally finding your username. “You are.”

“I’m not.” You typed angrily while pursing your lips, chiding yourself. You had no doubt in your mind that this would only encourage him. When the comment finally made its way into his view, he let out a booming laugh.

“You’re so stubborn.” He shifted in your bed, adjusting himself so that he could sit up more comfortably. “But since you’re here, you really should open the snap video I sent you. Maybe not in class though.” His voice had the same mischievous air to it that his texts had conveyed.

“what snap video??”

“what’s the video?”

“video? Why are you making it seem like a sexy video? Did you send a sexy video?”

“tom why are you like this?”

“are you sexting her in class, what is this”

“puppy tom no!”

“fuckboy tom at it again”

The request to join the Instagram live stream flashed across your phone, and you glared at it for a moment before declining. It took a second or two for your action to catch up to Tom’s device, and his face twisted into a comical pout at the rejection.

“Aww, come on now, Y/N/N. You’re not in class now, yeah? Just-” The comments that were coming now were fast and overwhelming.

“omg tom let the poor girl learn”

“let Y/N get a degree 2k18”

“take your shirt off!!!”

“girl drop out & be a housewife. id live off that spider man $$$”

“TOM I LOVE YOU. DATE ME INSTEAD”

“-join for a moment so that I can see your lovely face.” He was relentless, you thought with a small shake of your head.

You settled on a suitable response and taped it out hurriedly; you had less than 10 minutes now to get over to your new building and you would have to skip lunch, which was truly tragic. “Pictures exist for a reason, Thomas. Stop being a baby. This is a home discussion! And! I’m! Busy!” You weren’t surprised when he chose to ignore the second half of your message.

“Well, yeah but it’s not the same, is it, love? And I’m not being a baby. Forgive me for wanting to spend time with my girlfriend.” Tom replied with a hint of a pout that was nowhere near as convincing as it could have been had it not been replaced almost immediately by a childish grin. God, he was infuriating.

You sent “✌️👶”, a sentiment that you thought succinctly conveyed the message you wanted to get across, and rolled your eyes as you left the stream despite your boyfriend’s whines. His incessant contact had thrown you off your groove, and now it was a struggle to get where you needed to be. You grumbled to yourself as you bolted across campus. “Do I call him repeatedly when he’s on set? Does he get roped into live streams because I haven’t seen him in 5 hours?”

The answer was a resounding no.

Boy, was he going to have hell to pay when you got home.

___

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@thetenthdoctorscompanion @inkstainedfanfics @reid-187 @galaxies-behind-my-eyes @kkiyomizu @saint-august-8 @twilightparker @watchoutforfrostbite

#tom holland #tom holland x you #tom holland x reader #marvel cast #tom holland fic #curlsincriminology writes #tom holland imagine #curlswithcreativity #this fic is messy as fuck but I needed to get something up #sorry dudes

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theaterdisneynerdsunite · 6 years

Text

Tony Awards Thoughts

So it looks like, at least for now, the CBS website lets you watch it for free (at least in the US). Here are my thoughts using those time stamps (be warned I have a long running commentary)

0:23 Oh is this going to be a parody of her playing the piano on last year’s Tony’s

1:05 How has neither one of them won anything? I mean I get if they said neither one of them one a Tony cause I mean, they both did shows that one time…but anything?

1:18 Is there anything more Broadway than saying the same rehearsed thing at the same time and pretending it was just part of the banter? Oh theater tropes I love you

1:36 That’s always been something that bothered me, people assume that just because something didn’t win the Tony doesn’t mean its not a great show, and the show that wins might not even be the best one that season (you know who you are). I love the Tony’s but its an award show, people don’t stop watching tv shows and movies or listening to artists that didn’t win or weren’t nominated, it makes me sad that so many shows close post Tony’s just because they weren’t the big winner. Anyways…

1:53 THEY CELEBRATED THE LOSERS LIKE ME, these A list celebrities that are totally not losers are soooo relatable ;)

2:40 A few years ago Something Rotten did what I thought was a brilliant advertising campaign listing amazing shows that lost the Tonys like them, so the fact that it was put into song gave me a fond flashback. See? SEE??? Oh it feels so good to be vindicated on tv

3:49 “If you make art at all your a part of the cure” :)

4:10 THEY HAD THE ENSEMBLE MEMBERS BE THE ONES IN THE OPENING NUMBER RATHER THAN THE LEADS THIS MAKES ME SO HAPPY. If only my high school self could have seen this she would have felt so much better

6:42 I didn’t see any of the plays this year but I heard the most about Angels in America this season so not surprised. Looks interesting

7:45 Happy Pride Month

8:40 Bake a cake for everyone who wants a cake to be baked would actually be a pretty good diction warmup

14:10 Kinda surprised that they didn’t pick Rather Be Me or Apex Predator considering those are the really marketed songs. “Where We Belong” seems a lot like “Status Quo” from High School Musical. I mean you’ll get that about high school clicks in the lunch room with a blond queen bee but like, even the dance moves felt similar, and the lunch tray dancing, even the giant cat decal. But like, it's not as catchy? I didn’t expect them to win anything tonight but I really don’t think they’ll win anything now? Is that mean? Just cause it feels like it was supposed to be a high energy number and it didn’t have that energy I thought it would. Also come on, just cause you want the girls to be shallow and dumb doesn’t mean the lyrics have to be that cringey. This feels like a less good version of if Legally Blonde and High School Musical had a baby (I absolutely love Legally Blonde that was not intended to be an insult to either show).

15:00 Is it me or did Amy Schumer look like she wanted to say something but Rachel Bloom kept talking. But it didn’t really have any joke setup or serve as a good segway for commentary, what could she have wanted to say?

15:35 Later on I’m going to see if I can find the award speeches that didn’t get televised. most of the world doesn’t get broadway they get regional theater, I wanted to hear what they had to say

15:45 Nick Scandalious feels like a cartoon name you’d see in an Onion article about the Me Too movement. His face even looks like the generic celebrity that had a TMZ scandal five years ago. I thought I read it wrong at first lol

16:40 I was cracking up they know their brand so well. The air quotes on emotional, perfect!

17:10 Mini Sara and Josh are so cute!

17:50 Ok I missed the reference, what is the giant bird lady from?

18:10 oh

20:57 celebrity child picture counter: #3 Amy Schumer. Also guess which year the musical described as “a comedy about class and sexism” is from? Yup it’s My Fair Lady, the audience laughed like I did in that sort of this is funny but also sad kinda way

26:00 This was so overacted and hammy and one day I aspire to that level of loud printed robes. Coincidentally my name is also spelled like Eliza but my voice is not nearly that good. Also does it count as drag if they are clearly men in dresses with some comical makeup or is there another name for it when they aren’t actually trying to look feminine?

26:18 The twitter usernames were too small to see on my screen who were the twitter pictures of?

26:30 See above comment

27:00 What show did Billy Joel work on? Also Billy Joel, Bruce Springsteen, and Josh Groban maybe my mom will finally enjoy theater

29:12 Oh my gosh that picture of Titus Burgess is amazing as is that suit. And that intro is so Titus its great

30:07 Renee Fleming we’ve got the Opera world here too? It’s so many famous musicians from outside broadway on broadway, think of all the crossovers

32:50: Yes spongebob get Josh Groban to sing more thank you for your service. Ok I’m not a huge fan of spongebob but they have to win for sound design that guy is on overload

33:27 Lol it explains so much why the songs sound disjointed cause they got a billion people to write them. Also lol I was waiting for that joke

33:50 Also what I thought would happen would be a medley that way Spongebob who really is the driving energy of the show and Squidward played by the Broadway darling would both have a song. This wasn’t how I expected them to do it, but I was sort of right so I’ll count it. I’m not really a fan of Spongebob the musical (I’ve listened to it twice once when it first came out and once during Tony Season. I’m not one of the people who hate it off the sheer premise and won’t give it a chance, but I just thought it was meh and not worth having the most nominations.) But Squidward’s song is very me, not in terms of melody cause that is I find most of the melodies to be rather generic but the lyrics are 100% me trying to convince myself. Also all I will be thinking about for the rest of the will be what tap dancing must feel like its gotta feel weird how long do you think he spent practicing it with and without the extra legs. Or it might be nightmare fuel with the sea anemone contributing to it, who knows? Probably both,

38:07 still don’t know whose handles those are

38:28 ^^^

38:40 Ok when I saw the outfits I was expecting a Chorus Line Parody, but this Sia parody fits this every genre but musical theater theme of this Broadway season

39:20 Eight times a week, and all the subsequent puns

40:28 Can I just say I love this return to singing interludes over awkward award show banter?

41:44 I saw the Bands Visit a few month’s back and I still don’t know how to describe it. Normally I would guess it would be the second fiddle of the Tony’s but considering the “purists” it’ll probably win most of the awards

44:16 With all the previous reaction shots you knew it had to be Nathan Lane. I always forget how well spoken he is because of his typical roles but he is really well spoken and sincere rather than trying to wise crack and it was so sweet. It made me smile

47:43 His face saying “blow high” has got to be a gif right?

51:45 The entirety of the Carousel number was me thinking if I had a higher sex drive this would totally make me thirsty. They also used very creative ways to physically embody the shape and workings of a ship but then again I’m admittedly biased. Listen to that number you know their vocal prowess was not why they picked it

52:12 I mean, I know that crew gets less attention than cast and plays less attention than musicals but I would watch the full version stop cutting out the speeches. C’mon I love costumes

53:04 I know your joking but that hurts

53:19 yes #4 famous kid photo Uzo Aduba

55:49 Ari'el Stachel’s speech is made all the more poignant when you realize everyone else in his category were white. Despite this season’s commerciality you actually do have shows and casts with Asian leads and African American leads and Latin American leads and Middle Eastern leads somewhere between the sea of shows like Spongebob and Frozen. Show these shows some love, prove that Hamilton wasn’t the anomaly but the rule

56:55 They brought the Parkland teacher for the theater education award! Fitting 65 students into a high school teacher’s office for hours to protect them is not easy, she saved lives that day

58:17 I thought #5 Matthew Morrison was a girl in his child pic

58:40 They went to Parkland?!

59:35 OMG they’re performing!?!

1:00:10 Seasons of Love is the Perfect song for this, they sound so good too!

1:01:18 Girl has an amazing voice! Dang to get up there in front of all of these famous performers on live TV after the media has already hounded them and putting yourself out there is courageous

1:02:45 I can’t see the handles

1:03:11 Will they be able to top NPH’s Tony magic trick though??? Probably not but let’s see

1:03:31 So cheesy but tbh if I had a Harry Potter wand I’d be even cheesier

1:03:46 Was that line improved or was the tech delay intentional?

1:04:22 C’mon Squidward already pulled the same “trick” you have ensemble block the audience pov while someone enters from the back. Didn’t even come close to topping NPH

1:04:43 Little Patti Lupone I can’t believe she allowed them to include her picture of lil’ Patti

1:05:04 I just wanted to include Patti’s line about a “deep appreciation for outspoken women” cause I actually said “you go girl” out loud

1:05:35 Yeah, fun fact, Tony wasn’t a man but was actually short for Antoinette. They referenced it multiple times before, including earlier tonight, but it was stated most explicitly here

1:06:35 Is that a young or modern Claire Danes, I can’t tell

1:07:39 Also it’s really cool that an older woman won something, I feel like the stage gives more roles for older woman that other acting industries, also if people argue that she was political she served political office. Also how cool is it that apparently people were there from every recognized country?

1:09:27 so that’s how they do Sven, I knew Olaf was supposed to be an Avenue Q style puppet but the way they move Sven is really cool (it’s the technique they used on things like War Horse, I don’t know if it’s considered costuming or puppetry or what the official name is)

1:10:20 Anna looks exactly as I pictured her, and they changed a few minor lyrics for it to fit the stage

1:10:44 There are so many quick changes tonight

1:11:22 Elsa did not look like what I imagined her to be, but the costumes are on point

1:12:00 The chorus versions of these songs have beautiful harmony, but Olaf shouldn’t be there yet right? Isn’t he “born” in Let it Go

1:12:47 Alright I’ve been waiting to see how they’ll do the snow effects!

1:14:00 They got out of building the castle by already having it built at the beginning of the song, which is smart technically but I wanted to see how they do it, unless it’s one of those things that’s a surprise for when you see it live.

1:14:25 Never call it “Daddy’s Day” ever again. Never.

1:14:46 I can’t see the handles

1:14:59 How could you not show Chita Rivera’s lifetime achievement? I’ve been lucky enough to see her in more than one show and she is incredible.

1:15:13 And you also cut out Andrew Lloyd Webber’s?? You made the wrong cuts Broadway

1:15:25 It looks like they’re going to show a tribute I’m excited!!!

1:17:42 Two things: Andrew Lloyd Webber has written a weird collection of musicals, like when you see clips of them back to back you realize just how weird of a collection it is, and Josh Groban needs to be the next Phantom

1:18:08 That exchange was so physically awkward they haven’t even started talking yet and I feel the cringe

1:19:18 Is “I swore I’d never do something like that” shade against the La La Land debacle? In 2018? Or am I reading too much into it

1:19:21 I saw the Band’s Visit but I also saw Once on this Island and I thought that one would win Direction for sure but I guess I was wrong

1:22:36 I read Harry Potter and the Cursed Child, it’s a weird read, but I haven’t seen it live so maybe it’s directed brilliantly, who knows? Who else thinks its a weird read?

1:23:56 He’s getting the Tony audience to sing his boyfriend "Happy Birthday" instead of giving a speech and that is both adorably sweet and such a power move. Also a rare occasion of Happy Birthday being sung on key

1:25:10 They’re having DEH perform? You cut out people who actually were awarded tonight for people who already were featured on the Tony’s last year? And that song is a weird choice for a In Memoriam considering that show doesn’t really…respect the deceased. Weird

1:28:17 Give the tech more time in the limelight! You cut out Chita and Webber’s speeches for a weird tribute and you have weird stunts with tech like the magic thing yet cut out all their stage time. I know this is standard Tony procedure but it is something I will comment on every year until it changes

1:29:20 That move for “work hard for the money mom” line was uncomfortable

1:30:30 They really do sound like the original singer

1:31:53 So that’s how the performers follow the conductor. They have a huge teleprompter-like screen in the back of the audience

1:32:52 This cast seems specifically tailored to gather different subsections of internet geeks and I will not tell you which categories I fall into

1:33:18 I never knew “the Jimmy’s” were a thing when I was in high school

1:34:54 THOSE are the great themes of Harry Potter? Really?

1:36:10 Aww look at little Cinderella

1:36:34 How are they going to build that stage for the Tonys? They built a river inside the theater for it before!

1:37:00 Well it makes sense that they’d only include part of the set, you can’t really recreate an entire building. Yes I’m so glad they included Mama Will Provide. That song is like the definition of a Tony performance song. Why did they include the Daniel bit, that was so awkward and broke up the flow

1:40:40 If anyone would be chill with the goat it’s Nathan Lane. Yup, there a live goat at the Tony Awards

1:41:21 Don’t joke about that

1:41:41 Are you going to cut out every technical award

1:42:32 Too relatable

1:43:16 Is this that song from Chorus Line in real life

1:44:10 English Major life

1:46:03 The angel from Angels in America is so Extra TM

1:46:54 That Tony Kushner line was forced

1:47:18 Awkward segway but REMEMBER TO VOTE

1:47:38 That Judy Garland line ties in perfectly with the Happy Birthday to the gay couple

1:48:04 That reaction to the word “money” is me. And also is a gif right?

Am I so much of a Tony nerd that I both knew and was shocked that the accountants weren’t the normal ones from Ernst and Young but instead were from Grant Thorton. Why do I remember what company normally tallies the Tony votes? Why did they change companies? Why do I care so much? But seriously what happened

1:49:00 That phrase just sounded so odd, just the way it was said “my television Daddy-O Tony Shalhoub”

1:53:15 I don’t have the accent and I’m about as white as white can be, but I really want to perform this song somewhere at some point. I have family in this area even though I don’t look like I would but and I just connect to it. The melody is gorgeous and the chorus reminds me of the lullabies of when I was very little.

1:54:15 Every time the young photos come up it puts a small smile on my face

1:54:37 Good on them for putting their money where their mouth is. They actually helped fund arts programs in places where they were cut

1:55:05 I wonder what the rest of the scenic guy’s speech for Spongebob was because this tiny clip seemed so passionate (and just has such an interesting aesthetic). Gosh darn it Tonys stop pretending the only backstage people that count are the directors and producers, you have all these other people who put in so much hard work yet you consistently ignore them. Even orchestrations, choreography and score?? Orchestrations, choreography and score are crucial for musicals to exist as unique entities from plays. You make jokes about people sitting through 5 hour plays but I would gladly sit through a five hour award show if you just included the technical awards.

1:57:10 me trying to open anything ever

1:57:14 Yes! I was so worried they would go with the super old school ones that get constant revivals. I mean, they picked the show that had “1000 pounds of sand, a 100 gallons of water, a goat and 2 chickens into his theater” when you have safer, more conventional bets. Everyone kept sleeping on Once on this Island this Tony season to talk about their feelings about the Spongebob’s and Mean Girl’s of the world but this is such a good show. Maybe this’ll get this show the love it deserves.

1:59:30 what did Robert DeNiro say on the recording the sound cut out. Did the mic cut out did he say something inappropriate, I’ve been avoiding Tony news what happened?

1:59:55 It’s got more than just a big cast, dancing, and a history lesson. You know that applies to, idk like 60% of famous Broadway musicals lol

2:00:06 when someone gives that pregnant of a pause you gotta wonder what the story is there

2:00:27 Truth

2:00:40 “Jersey Boy” that’s such a good one liner, actually, it might sound sarcastic online but that was a funny one liner in context

2:03:00 Is Bruce Springsteen really going to just do spoken word poetry the whole time? Also I don’t know why but this makes me think of Fun Home

2:06:05 Oh he’s going to sing after all. Though that story is about as Americana Fourth of July as anything I’ve ever heard on the Tony Awards ever and that’s saying something

2:07:39: who are these people?

2:08:00 Didn’t Kristin Chenowitz and Alan Cumming do this exact same shtick when they hosted, what 2 years ago? And there’s was much bigger I mean really go big like that Glinda the Good dress or go home.

2:08:23 Was there really no punch line? Also aww baby Kelli O’Hara is precious

2:09:07 The actor’s name sounds like his character’s name and I enjoy that

2:09:39 Well these actors are very different from each other

2:11:28 I am a sucker for genuine sincerity and that combined with some of the earlier moments like the Parkland moment brought me close to tears

2:12:45 Look at this award shows actual diversity, and not just using one show for diversity and nominating a bunch of actors you have 3 out of 6 female leads be people of color and none of them are a “token” and they all support each other. Hailey Kilgore is so young and such a good actress and I wanted her to win so much but she seemed so excited for the person who did win and they all seem happy at the result you don’t have any of that polite loser face they are all genuinely supportive and this makes me happy. I’m happy, look at those smiles I’m smiling, I love it when they show women supporting each other.

12:14:06 “my stupid little heart with so much joy” is me watching these people tonight.

12:14:27 Still can’t identify these people

12:15:00 Josh Groban’s reaction to Bernadette Peter’s name is me. Honestly Josh Groban is killing the potential gif game tonight

I’m sorry I just can’t take this description of them as “empowering stories” seriously when half of your nominations are Spongebob and Mean Girls

2:16:10 Tonight the Band’s Visit really swept. Honestly some seasons shows don’t win any awards that deserved it and other seasons shows that (while still deserving) probably wouldn’t have won win and it’s all kind of arbitrary, but I’m glad out of this batch it won, it was really the only show out of the four that would have gotten the Tony Award ticket sales boost and it got it.

2:17:35 “Music gives people hope and makes borders disappear”

2:19:08 yes another Josh Groan duet!

2:19:25 I love Miss Peters too

2:20:44 This number made me smile, this whole night made me smile. I was worried I would get frustrated by the night with Spongebob and Frozen and Mean Girls and all the potential for it to be a cynical snark fest or a capitalist money grabber spectacular. There are about 10 billion ways I saw myself not liking this year’s Tony Awards before it started and not only am I relieved that I was wrong about the mood of the night but I am elated. I love me some deadpan humor and some snark but you rarely see one of these nights just wholly be genuine and not tongue and cheek and it was such a breath of fresh air. Even the hokey bits like the stupid magic jokes and banter or weaker songs like that Mean Girls number, because everything was in such a kindhearted atmosphere, didn’t feel as bad as they otherwise would have.

#tonys #tony awards #tony awards 2018 #josh groban #sara bareilles #band's visit #spongebob #spongebob musical #frozen #frozen musical #mean girls #mean girls musical #honestly so many shows were nominated this year for revivals and plays and other things #theater #musicals

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applejongho · 3 years

Note

you deserve AT LEAST one ask everyday!!! 😊😊 I'll try my best to keep sending you asks frequently!! :3

and how did the exam go???? did you manage to figure out that part that you didn't understand? was it on the exam? i hope it went well, fingers crossed 💞💞💞

hsjjdjfbd I'm even older than chan by 2 weeks 😂😂😭😭 i still think of 2000s babies as little kids when they're very much not sjjdjdjd my mind just can't comprehend it lmao i really hate it that I'm old jajdhdh but omg you're even younger than jeongin 😭😭😭 you're smol :')))) but also not 😂😂😂 - 🎅

I don't feel small as an 18 year old but ig I am haha. Physically, however, I'm really small, I'm 5'0 (~151cm) 😅 I'll really look at Jeongin and go "wow he's so young" and then I look at myself "bruh you're even younger" okay but it's crazy that you're older than Chan, ig that shows how much younger the kpop groups are getting and how us older fans are getting older 😭 I remember being 14 when I got into BTS and the maknae (Jungkook) was a whole 5 years older than me lol. Now being a stay I'm shocked that Jeongin is only a year older than me haha

AND MY EXAM WENT WELL HAHAHAAAAA I mean, we'll see what my grade is but I think I did well! The stuff I didn't understand was on there but I knew it well enough to do most of the problems so I'm rly not worried at all. Now all that's left are my bioengineering and chemistry exams and I will be ✨free✨

Okay also I want your opinion 👀 I feel safe to say my ✨potential new username✨ bc I went ahead and saved it on a different acc, idk if I should change my username to changbuff, like I thought of it a few days ago and though it was the most brilliant name. You may be asking, isn't your bias Seungmin? And you're correct, but also like,,,

Like come on, he got that crush my spine when he hugs me vibe. I guess the only thing holding me back is Seungmin, but only bc why would I rebrand myself if I still don't have a username that's related to my bias lol

#ty for asking about my exam i was so worried about it lol 😭#and it rly did go well!#secret santa

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the-madame21 · 6 years

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About Me As A Writer

Tagged by @foxyena~ <3

1. How did you come up with your username and what does it mean? I’m literally madamemalfoy21 everywhere. I loved Draco and Lucius and I just wanted to be a mistress to one or both lol. 21 is one of my favorite numbers and it just sounded mature so I stuck it at the end.

2. Which fanfic of yours has the most feedback? (bookmarks/subscriptions/hits/kudos).

An Omega’s Heat has the most hits/kudos (nearly 26k hits and 1.5k kudos) but A Place to Call Home has the most subscriptions/bookmarks. Makes sense since one’s a oneshot and the other’s an ongoing story lol.

3. What is your AO3 profile icon, and why did you choose it?

Also the same as here and everywhere else. My little book with flowers. I literally just googled book and I think this is a stock photo of some sort so I just snagged it cuz it looked cute.

4. Do you have any regular/favourite commenters?

YES! Omg they’re like my everything. @sound-of-inspiration is a HUGE one she’s the best, @seamorered has been super busy but like always so supportive and their comments always hit all the right parts, @trashytacosan is a given she literally pushed me through Cigs and Soda uhhh MisakiHan is fabulous I always look forward to their reviews and lots lots more, I have like 30 people who consistently comment on A Place to Call Home and I LOVE them all but I have no idea what anyone’s tumblr is so if I didn’t mention you I’m so so sorry DX

5. Is there a fanfic that you keep going back to read again and again?

Snape Brings in the New Year With a Bang by Ms-Figg. It’s old, it’s on fanfiction.net, I don’t even ship this pairing, but goddamn it was absolutely brilliant.

6. How many stories are you subscribed to? How many do you have bookmarked?

I’m subscribed to like 2 and I have none bookmarked lmfao.

7. Which AU do you find yourself writing the most?

Uhhhh I don’t really have a set AU?

8. How many people are subscribed and bookmarked to you in total? (you can view this on the stats page)

227 subscriptions and 3002 bookmarks

9. Is there something you’d like to write about but are afraid of people judging you for it? (Feeling brave? If so, share it!)

Ok straight up. I have been wanting to write a Laito x Cordelia smutshot for like the LONGEST but I don’t want to deal with the whole having to explain fiction vs reality to people. I don’t support their relationship at all, to be honest I fucking hate Laito, but I think the amount of inner struggle/turmoil that would go on in that particular exchange would be particularly fascinating to explore. The focus wouldn’t be so much on the sex but more on Laito’s thoughts during the sex.

10. Is there anything you would like to be better at? Writing certain scenes or genres, replying to comments, updating better, etc.

I’d love to be able to do action scenes better. I really suck at writing those.

11. Do you write rarepairs or popular ships more often?

Uhhh usually popular ships. I throw in a rarepair every so often but it’s usually small and a side thing. I do have my favorite rarepairs though.

12. How many stories have you posted on AO3 to this day (finished and unfinished)?

Apparently 55 lmfao.

13. How many stories do you have saved in/with your writing program?

Uhhhh??? A lot.

14. Do you write down story ideas, or just keep them in your head?

Pretty much just keep them in my head. If they’re good enough they’ll stick.

15. Have you ever co-authored a story?

Yes! @soul--surgeon and I were co-writing a HP/DL crossover fic ^o^

16. How did you discover AO3?

Uhhhh well I was on fanfiction.net and everyone was saying that for Haikyuu I HAD to get on the AO3 train so I did.

17. Do you consider yourself to be a popular or famous author in your fandom(s) on AO3?

Not really.

18. Do you have a nickname or fandom name for your readers?

Literally what does this mean

19. Was there an author who inspired or encouraged you to write?

Like personally there, pushing me to write? No. I just started writing cuz I wanted to. Although what inspired me to start writing was a series of really bad dramione fics with horrible pacing.

20. What writing advice would you give to a beginning author?

READ. Like I know it’s the one thing everyone says but seriously, you have to read. You have to get out of your own head. If you’re like me you think everything you do is perfect. It’s so important to see how other people are wording things, how other people express themselves, because oftentimes there’s someone out there doing it better than you. Learn from that, but make sure that you mold it into something that’s your own, and not stolen. Don’t steal ppl.

21. Do you plot out your stories, or do you just figure it out as you go?

Honestly not gonna lie I just kinda wing the shit out of everything. I have very loose and general plot lines planned out, but there’s always being reworked along the way. That said though some stuff is most definitely planned in advance. I know my endgoal. How I get there is up for debate lol. With longer fics though like my Masks series and Place to Call Home I’ve pretty much got those figured out. I only expect minor tweaks to those.

22. Have you ever gotten a bad comment on a story? If so, what did you do?

Ok so I’ve never gotten a comment where it’s like “I hate this and you suck” but I have gotten really dumb fucking comments that make me question if they just don’t know how to read or if I don’t know how to write. Those bother me the most.

23. Is there a certain type of scene that you have a hard time writing? (action, smut, etc..)

aCTiON

24. What story(s) are you working on now?

A Place to Call Home for the most part. I have other wips but I just haven’t given them attention since school has been busy.

I’m also working on my very first original work! It’s going to be called The Witch of the King’s Court and it’s gonna be up on my patreon by the end of December ^o^

25. Do you plan your next project(s) before you finish your current ongoing story(s)?

Sometiems yes and sometimes no. I do go through dry spells on occassion. But when it’s yes it actually becomes a bit of a problem lol.

26. Do you have a daily writing goal set for yourself?

lol

27. Do you think you’ve improved as a writer since you first started?

Uhhhh yeah. Definitely.

28. What is your favorite story that you’ve written?

Ahhh this is hard. It’s between A Place to Call Home and Her Undertaker, Beautiful

29. What is your least favorite story that you’ve written?

Hmmmm that’s kinda hard. Me and Tetsu I guess, since I really didn’t know anything about Kuroo when I wrote it.

30. Where do you see yourself (as a writer) in 5 years?

I would reallllllyyyyy like to be published. But we’ll see. I won’t get my hopes up.

31. What is the easiest thing about writing?

The writing part of it.

32. What is the hardest thing about writing?

The writing part of it. No actually--editing. I fucking hate editing. (Why don’t you just get someone to beta? NO. I hate that shit.)

33. Why do you write?

It’s truly the thing I love most. It makes me happy, and it helps me relax/deal with the stress of school.

Tagging: @sound-of-inspiration @itsalwaysmiyukikazuya @bentnotbroken1fanfiction and anyone else who wants to!! No pressure ^o^

#tagged #about me #personal #this was lots of fun #I shouldve been doing my paper though #ahhhh I love questions like these #you guys an always ask!

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popliar · 7 years

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G-Dragon: M.O.T.T.E World Tour in Sydney, 170805

I saw this show with @proteinscollide and it was super fun! I love GD! It makes me happy to think of the theses that have doubtless been written about "Crayon" and which I hope will also be written about this show.

Also @nvr-dnt-mnd sent me the most excellent awesome write up of the show she saw in the US and she should consider posting it publicly bc it's so good?!

What a good show. I'm not, by any means, the most knowledgeable on GD or BB. I just know I like them and I love him and I was sure this show would be entertaining? And it was! Lightsticks up, crowd into it, and a big big show. G-Dragon was so swaggy and relaxed on stage, easy with the limelight, holding your attention as the calmer centre while the dancers, band, and brilliant staging framed him to best effect.

The tickets were v. expensive, all foreign tours are when they have to travel as far as Australia, but expensive even by those standards - but at least you could see the money on the stage, with its amazing screens, many of them moving, and props like a white floating throne, and the multiple fireworks and confetti explosions. The dancers were great, the band was so good, it was all good!!

The theme of the show was G-Dragon vs Kwon Jiyong. The first two 'acts' of the show, focusing on his earlier career, were preceded by VCRs with imagery of cell division, surgery, transformation, artificiality. The creation of GD, in highly stylised, exaggerated form, with GD at one point disappearing into a grave, only to re-emerge after the next VCR - showing him wrapped in plastic, administered to by sinister doctors all in red with painted nails - shiny and new, ready to perform.

As we moved into the second half of the show, the tone of the VCRs changed. One showed brief interviews with friends and family from his life - Taeyang, Daesang, CL, Sandara Park, Psy, his parents and sister - asked first to describe G-Dragon, and then to describe Kwon Jiyong. Some of the responses were quite touching and poignant; others just funny and endearing.

The final VCR was GD himself, talking directly to screen, saying he wasn't sure of the difference between the two sides himself, that sometimes being GD felt heavy, and that he hoped we would still love him if he shed that (and he shrugged then, in his shiny sequinny robe, underneath which it was implied he was wearing nothing - GET IT?).

This was GD at his most vulnerable, his most awkward and heartfelt - and yet, in this same VCR, there was the self-awareness to let the camera swing around and show the dozens of staff and crew crammed into the set, watching this 'intimate' confessional.

And that is the key image to me - for no matter how intimate and how real he is, the fact is that the camera is still there and still mediating the experience.

I felt the same way about that VCR as I did with his closing English ment, which was quite touching and affecting along the same lines - reaching out to the audience and asking us to take the journey with him, being unsure where to draw the line, questioning himself about who he is.

What was real and what was performance? Not that the two are incompatible! GD's expressed desire to be known and to be fully himself, as Jiyong, can be true and real and sincere, AND ALSO co-exist with a carefully designed plan to make audiences feel they were seeing something more authentic and to convey that GD was in control of this next development in his career and invest more deeply in GD as a - well. As a persona. Both things can be true. I'm quite sure they are - I'm just not quite sure what the balance is between these two extremes.

Some other notable moments and thoughts -

- GD HAS A GD MULLET OMG. Do I grab the jiyongsmullet tumbler username? DO I??!!! (....I totally won't. But. I for real got @yoongismullet yesterday JUST BECAUSE I COULD.)

- GD literally rolling himself off stage before the encore, YOU MAGNIFICENT DORK. And when he was giving hearts to the crowd, ADORABLE.

- His clothes changing from all red, to partly red, to white. Red in the VCRs was linked to artificiality, construction, surgery. At one point wore a white outfit stained with red like bloodstains. GOSH THE ~SYMBOLISM. (I kid bc I love ok.)

- Similarly, the video screens showing graves, pills, boxes, suspended figures - enclosure, medication, mediation, control. But changing later on to blue skies and clouds, ending with a door opening for him to step through.

- GD tying himself to a mic stand with a red strap dangling from his hat, asking the audience to applaud him! "What on earth can this symbolism mean? HOW SUBTLE!!!" I mused aloud to proteinscollide. Gosh I love him.

- GD in a director's chair, marked "Kwon Jiyong", again the signalling that this was GD in control of his image, and again this can be both true AND a carefully constructed message.

I mean, at the end of the day, once you feed something into the machine - the pop machine but especially the kpop idol machine, which takes in absolutely everything, which is reality show writ large, across almost every aspect of idol life - well, the end product of the machine is performance.

Even if what you put into the machine is totally true, the end result may be totally true, or totally false, or most likely somewhere in between - but it is, regardless, performance. Because the act of observation itself etc etc.

So can we ever see or know the 'true' Jiyong? (Do we even want to? Let him live his life!) He says he's GD and Jiyong, he tells us that we've seen GD and now we're seeing Jiyong. But we’ll always see it through the mediation of screens, and commerce, and fandom. And that's fine with me.

- In an arena BTS sold out a few months ago, and Big Bang sold out a few years ago, it was a little disheartening to see the swathes of empty seats around the arena. In fact, all of us who got the 'cheap' tickets up the top were reallocated to unsold seats on a lower level, with the top level curtained off. (Looks like the case is similar in other states too, with next Saturday's show in Melbourne reducing remaining tickets to $99.)

I have to think it's the pricepoints which were the big difference, in Sydney at least - the premium and category 1 tickets were SO EXPENSIVE and had sold the least. This show was even more expensive than BTS, and it was just a big ask, even for a demographic that is slightly older than BTS's. Oh well. I'm sure he made bank elsewhere, this tour is probably raking it in regardless!

… Well, I have made it this far without mentioning a single song. I am a little disappointed he didn't play Coup D'etat, but otherwise very happy with the hits on parade. Please see elsewhere for more detailed setlists? Oh, last song was Untitled 2014 and made the crowd go wild as he walked by the front of the barrier. Crooked got a massive response, and it was wonderful.

In conclusion, a good show, very interesting, I love GD!!

#g dragon #big bang #kpop #motte world tour #actually using tumblr as a blog how strange #kpop shows

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