#being silly gay friends with a bi boy you used to have a crush on is the bi experience

[ringdabel]

My thoughts on OP ships except im being 100% honest (P.1)

*LuNami - Cute but im not a big fan of it - Autisum and girlboss frfr - idm if its canon! I mean i like their moments of hugging and all, they're all so silly and i absolutely adore them! ^^ *LuHan - Nah... HARD pass... - I do not ship them at all and refuses to - their age gap is 12 and i think personally Boa is just having some kind of highschool crush -if this ship becomes canon...... bro im gonna stare in the distance and cry - If you ship these two...... NO OFFENSE! But What is wrong with you :[ *LuZo/ZoLu - MY EMOTINAL SUPPORT SHIP YIPPIEEEEE - They are so SO CANON u cannot convince me otherwise!!! - Dumb and Dumber. - I love and ADORE their dynamic! their interactions, first meetings, etc... EVERYTHING THEYRE SOOO CUTE AGHHCBSDBIL <3333 - The crew KNOWS they love eachother. They know what they are. - shamelessly kisses eachother goodnight - Zoro will die for Luffy, and Luffy will stop him. *LuSan/Sanlu - ONE OF MY FAV SHIPS EVER!!! Their interactions!! >>>>>> - WE KNOW SANJI LOVES HIM AND ADORES HIM. WE KNOW THAT ALREADY YOU FRENCH FRY - He wants to be Luffy's special boy in the OPLA, c'mon, its so obv - Sanji gets jealous when Luffy compliments other cooks other than him, its canon guys, trust me. MOVIE 6, THAT PHYSILOGICAL HORROR MOVIE OF OP. *ZoSanLu/ZoLuSan -POWER POLY LOVERS ON TOP! -i love them. *cries* -I have 400 pages of fanart featuring these stupid boneheads. - they sleep together and Luffy steals all the blankets - Zoro will def giving them his earings. aghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh *LuKob/Koblu -Comfort ship of mine!!! THEYRE SO CUTE ITS ILLEGAL!!!! - I want them to reunite again, then hold hands and kiss eachother on the lips then go on cute little dates :[ - LUFFY IS KOBY'S GAY AWAKENING CHANGE MY MIND (i feel like hes more like bi or pan BUT) - Koby owns 6000 wanted posters of Luffy and its canon that he wants more of them. hes such a fanboy omg.... - If they ever date... they will have a matching handmade bracelet... Luffy's red and Koby's pink.... each has letters of eachother... - (ALSO THERES THIS FAV FIC OF THEM FROM AO3, THE AUTHOR IS okiedokeTM (madelinescribbles) AND THE FIC IS CALLED "Koby's Awful No-Good Very Confusing Day" CHECK IT OUT IF YOU CAN!!!!) - im very normal abt them (lie) *LuUso/UsoLu - Very cute ship!!1 - i personally see them as best friends more but its still verey cute! - They bond, they hug, they hit and they danced. yeah i get how ppl ship them!!!!!!!!! *LuLaw/Lawlu -Tbh.... its very cute! - i used to be obsessed with this ship bcs their dyanmic is so interesting, like Black cat and golden retriver! - i still kinda do ndcnas - Luffy reminds Law of Corazon bcs of his goofiness ughh CRIES - I hc Law that he has a soft spot for silly, goofy ppl, his sister, his crew, Corazon, LUFFY????????? He loves them but will never admit smh smh - When he ruins all of your well-planned plans that took you a whole week to make <3333333 *CobyLuLaw/KobyLawLu -AYEEEEEEEEEEE MY NEW FAV SHIP!!!!!!!!!!!!! - F**K BEING UNDERRATED, I WANT THIS TO BE KNOWN ACROSS THE WHOLE F**KING WORLD!!!!!! - PLSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS ITS SO CUTE!!!!!!!!!!!!!! U HAVE TO WRITE FICS ABT IT I NEED MORE OF IT!!!1 - I want to thank @orange-artist for drawing and having KobyLawLu on my breakfast table!!!!!!!!!! - AND FOR YOU THE PPL WHO WRITE THE FICS ILY - me omw to make brainrots of these three stupid peas in a pod, fishes in a bowl, pens in a pencilcase :]]]

#one piece #kobylu #lunami #lusan #sanlu #zolu #luzo #lukoby #usolu #kobylawlu

[my-name-is-bunnyfoxy]

For the TMNT Ships Ask Thing:

Caseynardo (Leo x Casey)

and/or

Aprilnardo/Leopril (Leo x April)

I love these 2 ships so much. I know they are kind of rarepairs (though, MM gave a lot of love to Leopril and there has been a lot more Leopril stuff. Which is great!), but I love them.

They are very dear to my heart. Personally.

Caseynardo 2012:

I've never heard of it until long time later

Now I'm just kicking my feet

YESSSSSSS

Silly goofball jock x serious and quiet nerd RAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

SCREW LEORAI

TO MAKE THIS BETTER LEO IS PRETTY MUCH BI IN THE SERIES (He's stated to have a man crush on Captain Ryan)

THE WAY THEY LOOKED AT EACH OTHER IN THAT ONE EPISODE

I'm aware they were kind of trash talking big foot in a foot too big but they were STILL bonding!!!

Please read Breaking the Ice by @fabuloustrash05 . I stopped studying for a few minutes to just read it and I'm proud. Disclaimer don't ditch your studies to just read fanfics that is not my message.

Anyways the fnafic solified my love for the ship.

Opposites attract

I can also see them as two friends who act gay but actually aren't or maybe they are.

Or two guys who seem gay but~ (inset bisexuality)

It's amazing. A solid 10/10.

2012 Aprilnardo:

We sadly don't get too much content with them but like-

I remember I was kind of introduced to this ship because I followed one of my idols who shipped it and made fanart of it and it was on DA. This was back before it got deactivated my account.

I LOVE 'Eyes of the chimera' episode. They were basically supporting each other all the way.

Ngl the transfem Leo lovers made me love it even more because I love me some lesbians. TMNT is already filled with some lesbians so why not add more!

I love how April is always by Leo's side and we see how much she cares for him.

I love the idea that April used to be into Space Heroes and then Leo got her back into it.

(For those who headcannon as both autistic) they would so totally talk and rant about their hyperfixation.

I wish though they had more moments together.

They are legit underrated.

The ship will get 9/10 for me.

I'll include rise and the mutant mayhem version cause why not.

Rise Leo x Cassandra:

Meh not bad

It's okay at best

I do feel like they could have become very close friends if Cass left junior under Leo's care in the bad future.

They are both reckless and over energetic and yet still have a lot of insecurities and issues that they have to cover it up.

Not a bad idea I suppose.

I guess 4.5/10. I don't know. We didn't get much of them so I mean.

Rise Leo x Junior:

ABSOLUTELY NOT

DNI IF YOU SHIP THEM

LEO WAS LITERALLY A FATHER FIGURE TO CASEY

"But I'm shipping the teen version of Leo with junior not adult-" NO. IT DOESN'T MAKE IT ANY BETTER.

ALSO IMAGINE DATING YOUR FRIEND'S SON. THAT WOULD BE SO DAMN UNCOMFORTABLE.

AGAIN, LEAVE MY PAGE IF YOU SHIP THEM.

Negative 0/10. Get the f out.

Rise Leo x April:

I've seen and been bombared by a ton of art regarding this ship on YT.

Controversial opinion: It's cute.

They both have the same energy and another controversial opinion but, Leo has a way closer relationship with April then Donnie. I've kind of seen more scenes with them together then with her and Donnie.

Though just like last time I prefer her being an older sister figure to him that Leo looks up to.

They both care for each other and love each other no matter what.

April pretty much comforts the turtles about their insecurities so she would do the same with Leo.

Probably a 6/10 or something. Again, prefer them as siblings but don't hate it. I'll kind of indulge in it tbh-

Mutant Mayhem Leo x April:

Better then 2012 Donnie's lmao-

They do have sweet moments

It's sweet they went to prom together

Mah boi was simping real hard

I feel like they should have gotten more scenes

I do feel like maybe April and Leo won't really happen or be cannon though. I don't know man. I'll see how it goes in the Tales of TMNT that will happen in 2024.

I'm really hoping they don't make it into a toxic love triangle or make it creepy or toxic.

I'll take this ship anyway as one of the only few good Leo romances.

It took them after 1987 to finally give Leo a good love interest.

the way he looks at her AHHHHHHHHH

The fanart of them together is really cute and wholesome (that made me remember that I still had that art request from you just sitting in my files- I didn't draw it because I didn't see MM yet- I'll try and get to it at some point I swear-)

Hope we get more scenes of them together

I'm unsure where I sit with this ship just yet. Again I'll see how it goes in the show.

For now, 7/10. I feel like a bit too high but you know what, whatever. The ship is okay so far.

Now...

Is anyone interested in Caprilnardo~?

#tmnt #teenage mutant ninja turtles #tmnt 2012 #tmnt fandom #rottmnt #tmnt 2k12 #rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #tmnt leo #tmnt casey jones #tmnt april #april o'neil #tmnt april o'neil #rottmnt april #rottmnt april o'neil #rise april #rise cassandra #rottmnt cassandra #rise casey #aprilnardo #caseynardo #leopril #rottmnt aprilnardo #rottmnt casey jones #rottmnt casey jr #rottmnt leo #rise leo #rottmnt leonardo #rise leonardo #caprilnardo #tmnt ships

[allamericansbitch]

the gaylor thing is so harmful because it shouldn’t even fucking matter, but it turned into this giant discourse that’s directly affecting so many different people in so many different ways… taylor herself, the men she’s seen with, the girls she’s seen with, young queers who might have felt safe in that particular community and are now feeling marginalised and attacked (my coming to terms with myself experience had a lot of “oh if they’re so aggressive about XX being gay, they’ll be just as aggressive with me” - like these are teenagers we’re talking about, literal children that may’ve found comfort in that part of the community, that felt validated and seen) ((i’m obviously excluding grown ass adults that keep pushing the gaylor agenda from this particular example)), just anyone who got/gets caught up in this fucked up narrative - it’s a mess

but the main thing for me is like who the fuck cares who taylor swift is fucking/has fucked!? that’s a weird thing to speculate on, it’s such an invasion of privacy, it’s literally no one’s business

-

i’m gay so every other song i listen to is gay (to me) sometimes.

like avril lavigne’s girlfriend… wow gayest song ever… TO ME!! when i’m singing it in the car with my friends having a laugh about my life and reminiscing about this girl i had a crush on in sixth form “hey hey you you i don’t like your girlfriend // hey hey you you i want to be your girlfriend”

in that moment, for me, it’s a song about three girls, about my situation and only that — which is completely okay and not at all harmful!!

it’s the same as when i’m jamming to ed sheeran’s “i don’t wanna know about your new man ‘cause if it was meant to be, you wouldn’t be calling me up trying to, cause i’m positive that he don’t wanna know about me” thinking about this bi girl who left me for a guy - ed obviously didn’t write this song to portray that story

like please, if i sing “i knew you dancing in your levi’s” about my masc ex gf or if my cousin sings it about a fuckboy from her uni, what’s the difference?? that’s what art’s all about..

for example, rwylm is my favourite song because it encapsulates perfectly how i feel about my depression: help! i’m stuck!! everybody has moved on and continues to do so but i have this giant weight holding me back!! in my head i’m still the same as i was at 23!! my friends and family have accomplished things, the world has moved on and i can’t figure out how to!! i’m right where happiness left me!!

i don’t interpret it as a relationship/breakup song at all, which was pretty blatantly written as.

my interpretation doesn’t harm anyone bc i don’t shove this perspective down anyone’s throat, nor do i state it to be the ultimate truth. i just use the song for catharsis and comfort.

taylor’s songwriting is very nuanced and that’s good art!! it’s good to have a broad audience that can relate to all these core feelings you’re emoting, each in their own way, but it’s just creepy to speculate about someone’s (a stranger’s!!!) sex life, queer or straight alike.

taylor’s songs can be gay… or they cannot. not because they were written that way, not because she is or isn’t queer, but because of the way everyone personally experiences it.

i wish this was the common ground in the fandom bc i’d love to publicly joke on my blog that “hits different is sooo having your first girlfriend after only dating boys” without people interpreting it as me claiming that taylor is a wlw and coming at me with death threats and (more often than not) homophobic narratives. it would literally just be a silly text post that some people might relate to, or find funny, simple as. it wouldn’t be me pushing someone’s sexuality, bc (1). i wouldn’t; (2). it’s not that deep (as seen by the many examples i shared)

personally i’d just love to listen to my gay little music (that’s not necessarily factually gay) and ramble about it with on my silly little blog to my little internet friends without it being a whole thing (tm) which gaylors have made

idk this is just a rant bc it makes me sad… everyone should be free to enjoy music as they wish and most importantly everyone should learn to not gamble/theorise on people’s sexuality - it’s frankly very unsettling

so!! many!!! good!! points!!! yes yes yes!!!

it's sooo weird to care about who taylor is with. it literally does not matter and it does have negative affects, she's said so herself.

i've only seen a few discussions about the negative affects this whole gaylor thing has had on people who are queer and obviously i cant speak to it, but i didnt even realize it could totally affect y'all negatively due to it's intensity, that makes total sense and could be really intimidating.

and what you said about those songs and your examples is so!! true!!! thats your interpretation and thats beautiful! it's yours and thats what makes the songs, or any art in general, come alive. you're making it your own and giving it meaning and depth with your own layered experience. that's unique and your painting it with your own colors! no one else has those exact colors! it's yours! and thats amazing!

a great example of how individual, personal experiences can make interpreting a song so much deeper and more meaningful, you saying you view rwylm about your personal experience with depression... i view it through my relationship with my anxiety and the trauma it's caused me! and that's so cool how 1 song can mean so many things like a relationship to a person, depression and anxiety? thats so magical and much more meaningful than just simply speculating about which of her exes its about...

#answered #anonymous

[negrowhat]

i have a question that may sound weird lol. i follow youre account and its clear that youre a big lgbt supporter. (idk if youre also lgbt sorry) i recently watched xoxo kitty. its a western k drama which has lgbt in it. there are 3 love interessts, and i always see myself rotting for the lgbt opinion. ( im one of the few) and i always ship the lgbt couples. i always just crushes on guys, but im never really interested in anything sexual , but when i thought about it, i would probably choose to be intimate with a girl this way (and not with a boy) maybe im bi? anyway the problem is that i always see a lot of homophobic comments. a and a lot are from religion people who are like "If youre gay you go to hell" "youre gonna burn in hell with the devil" and dumb stuff like that. tbh i dont believe in god or hell or anything like that, so it always is really delusional and dumb when i see such saying. also i doubt that beeing lgbt is something so bad that that would happen. like its not bad and not that big of a deal imo. also if you compare with how many psychos and criminals in this world. (i think in the show love victor, this was a thema before) but idk it still kinda affects me and sometimes i think about it. (im generell scared with the dead and everything) like i know there is generella lot of homophobia in this world. and im used to it, thought it hurts and makes me angry, but this hell thing is really affecting me a little to enjoy lgbt content and to go there with another girl (even thought i dont believe in stuff like that) i know this is long and a little silly, but do you have advise?

Hey Friend! I am a HUGE supporter of anything LGBTQ and I also consider myself drifting somewhere along the Bisexual spectrum. I'm not an overly religious person, but I'm not an atheist. I believe there's a higher power, but I'm not entirely sure what that is and I'm not too much worried about it tbh.

What I can say is that American Christians (I won't speak on any other religion because other religions are tied to culture) love to pick and choose what they deem sinful to justify their hate. Always screaming about people going to hell for being gay when they murder and commit infidelities like they're competing in the Olympics. Those are the fake Christians. And I personally believe Christianity is rooted in Anti-blackness but that's a whole other thing.

Real devout people don't push their religions or beliefs on to non-believers and non-conformers. Religion is supposed to be a personal thing because when people die they don't typically arrive on the other side with other people do they?

Also there's nothing inherently heterosexual about society and there never was. Non-hetero activity has ALWAYS been around, before some religions.

My best advice to you Friend, is if you don't believe in it then don't waste your time being worried about it. People can believe in Heaven and Hell all they want but no one knows what happens when the lights go out. And even if there was and your soul goes there, who is to say you actually get to experience it? That a person has cognition beyond death to witness such places as Heaven or Hell? People don't know anything but what their beliefs dictate.

If think you may want to be with a woman then that is no one's business but yours. If you want to date women (depending on where you're from) it's okay to explore it or not to explore it. That's completely up to you.

I have learned that sexuality is spectrum and realization doesn't always result in manifestation. You can be a bisexual person who has never dated the same sex or vice versa. It's a truth for you and you alone. You could be on the Ace spectrum or be Pansexual. There's fluidity in sexuality and it is free for you to get acquainted with whenever you are ready to.

Unfortunately there's going to be hate in this world. It's always going to be there. People tend to hate things they don't understand and are too afraid to try to understand. The only thing you can control is how you feel about it and how you react to it.

Also you can watch queer content for the sole purpose of enjoyment. It's ok. You don't have to have a reason to enjoy it but I think the enjoyment is better when you personally relate to the content. You don't need to justify it to anyone.

I hope this was helpful.

#sorry this got long #but i understand your hangups friend

[electronzekrom]

❤🔥🌼🍀

Wall-o'-Text Incoming!

❤ - Are there ways I wish I could present myself differently? (Edit: laptop didn't display emoji correctly; I now realized this question was supposed to be my pronouns 😅)

Hmm... not sure how to answer this one... I know I've preferred dressing in more neutral/masculine clothes for a long while. A part of it is not wanting to be sexualized, but otherwise I think I just like it!

My relationship with my gender is: "I'm a she/her, I guess?" But personally I don't mind if someone would refer to me as "he" or "they". This is mostly for online spaces where we can't see each other face-to-face, but if it happened IRL, I don't think it would bother me that much.

🔥 - How has the way you think about yourself changed since you realized?

A bit! I never really got the chance, or, had the need to dissect what being ace would mean for me until more recently in my life- I didn't realize being ace was a thing until college! I just thought of my lack of wanting a boyfriend was just another quirk of my personality. Lots of "a-ha" moments .A.

🌼 - If you used any other labels before your current one, what were they?

I don't think I ever really tried finding a label (outside of "ally" maybe?); by the time I starting thinking about this kind of stuff I tended to ignore or dance around the question of "straight, gay, bi, etc."

🍀 - What thoughts or emotions that didn’t make sense to your past self make sense now?

For a long while, I thought my lack of want to find a boyfriend/finding teenage boy-craziness silly(?) was a result of upbringing ("focus on yourself and academia"), but now I kind of see why it was so... easy(?) to do. Also, I don't ever recall having a crush on an IRL person; and the way I got attached to certain fictional characters was always in more platonic ways (I didn't want to kiss or date them, I wanted to be their friend/be close to them)

That was a lot; hopefully these answers make sense- even now it's still kind of hard for me to find definite answers for how I feel. But thanks a bunch for asking! ^^

#asks and answers

[gemini-elf-girl]

IMOGEN AND NICK AS BESTIES PRETTY PLEASE

some headcannons

things are a bit tense after the events of season one until one day, imogen just corners him and says “this is stupid nick, we have always been friends, nothing has to change. can we just try hanging out again? you are one of the few people in this group i actually like.” they become even closer than they were before!

imogen figures out nick and charlie are dating before they even stop hiding it. she casually brings it up to nick one day and he looks at her with a very startled expression. she goes “OH MY GOD IM SO SORRY I DIDNT REALIZE YOU WERE KEEPING IT A SECRET, don’t worry i haven’t told anyone!” for the few days where they are still trying to be sneaky, she is somebody nick can confide in

imogen makes nick do silly tik tok dances with her and turns him into her personal insta photographer. she takes candids of him all the time for his insta too!

doing each others makeup for the memes, nick looks gorgeous and she looks like a goblin afterwards. her snap story is wild that night

bi imogen for life. one day she starts asking nick a bunch of questions about realizing he was bi and how he came to terms with it and nick is like “……you know you can tell me anything right?”

one day during a pirates of the caribbean marathon, nick looks at the screen and goes “wow i love being bi” and imogen just goes “same.” they then stare at eachother for a minute, and then crack up. that’s how she comes out.

friendship bracelets. nuff said.

imogen takes nick shopping. aka, nick carries imogen’s bags :P

charlie is very briefly jealous of how close imogen and nick are, and imogen, being the perceptive lil queen she is, immediately catches on and pulls him aside. “i absolutely love you guys together. nick is one of, if not my closet friend and im so happy he’s happy. you don’t have to worry about me getting in your way, and if you saw the way he looks at you, you wouldn’t worry either!”

so then charlie and imogen are ALSO besties and the three of them hang out. she makes them all do face masks

she constantly steals nick to come be her wingman at parties

the way they crack up when people ask if they are dating, imogen normally says “are you kidding? im clearly out of his league?”

once she becomes more chill with the whole squad, darcy and tara CONSTANTLY tease her about the “ally” comment. often referencing the “the is my friend valentina” tik tok. (until imogen comes out of course). Imogen thinks this is hilarious

(i can’t write fics but somebody else please write this) when she starts dating a girl for the first time, she isn’t ready to come out to her parents but still wants to do obviously date activities. so nick and charlie accompany them on “totally heterosexual” double dates

loves to take selfies with nick and charlie being coupley in the background and captioning them “my parents took me on an outing today”

imogen makes huge obnoxious signs at rugby matches and is nick and charlie’s biggest cheerleader

her and tao like being shady bitches together, they especially love to tease nick and charlie for being coupley (imogen is much nicer about it though)

imogen is a flower crown queen, always making them out of the dandelions in the school lawn, and surprising nick and charlie with them

one day for kicks she straightens charlie’s hair and curls nicks. a photo shoot occurs

imogen is soooo supportive of nick when charlie is in the hospital. she comes over for comfort movie nights, helps him do research on how to be a supportive boyfriend to a partner with an ed, and puts together little self care packages with movies, skincare, fuzzy socks, and one time even a squishmallow for nick to bring to him

if the show goes all the way through the events of nick and charlie, i’d love to see her talk some sense into nick during the big fight, while also binging ice cream with him and watching disney movies

OKAY THIS MUGHT BE A STRETCH BUT IMOGEN AS NICKS MAID OF HONOR OKAY JUST CONSIDER IT

#imogen heaney #nick and charlie #nick nelson #charlie spring #nick and imogen #nick and imogen are besties #heartstopper #tao xu #heartstopper spoilers #being silly gay friends with a bi boy you used to have a crush on is the bi experience #i would know i and my entire high school friend group is bi #everybody crushes on everyone but at the end of the day we are all 💁‍♀️ besties first

[wolfhowlingdragonflyingsirensong]

spoilers

Since I recently played Life is Strange, which whoah, is totally an experience that I recommend to everyone, I’ve come to appreciate how well the game handles choices. It’s interesting how choices can seem meaningless good acts, like helping Alyssa avoid being hit, translates to her trusting Max enough for Max to save her. But, the game also points out how we can’t control consequences, since good deeds are done with nothing but good intentions can have fatal consequences, such as warning Victoria (and her believing you) leads to her murder, or the biggest good deed of them all, saving Chloe, leads to a storm that (can) kill lots of people. And ultimately, what’s cool is that every choice is canon, since Max it’s not a blank slate, meaning every choice the player makes is something Max considered. What do I mean with Max not being a blank slate? I mean regardless of your choices, Max likes waffles AND bacon and eggs. This is a minor example, but it serves for many things. Max can comfort Victoria or not, and later when they talk at the party regardless of your choice, Max at first is pretty angry, so she’s completely capable of standing up for herself and others. Max loves Chloe regardless of the player's feelings towards her. Max can be pretty uncaring or a literal angel, by Kate. And all of this is canon because even nice people contemplate not being nice all the time, even if it’s only a thought. This brings me to the ships topics. First of all, I’m glad that this game has non-ambiguous, non-sexualized, soft wlw romance (actually two counting BTS!) without the canon protagonist being turned evil or something, and I think that’s incredibly important. If the game had only Chloe as a love interest, I would totally get it and have no problem,  because the game is pretty much focused on their bond. Not that it matters to those who do, I personally don't ship it because I self-project (and I totally recognize it) on friendships I had in my youth that were a bit like Chloe and Max's friendship in the first episodes, and they were toxic. Don't get me wrong, I loved my friends and they were (are) good people. I like Chloe a lot, and there's no denying that there are strong feelings on Max's part for Chloe that are romantic, and it's up to the player to determine if Max is going to pursue Chloe. Denying it means that is both not reading Max's diary and erasing her sexuality. I write this because I don't want to seem like I don't ship them because I like Grahamfield, it's not that, I could very well be into both, and I think Chloe develops so much at the end of episode 5 that, while before I thought she was only in love with Rachel, at that point is totally understandable for me. If you ship Pricefield then that's awesome! You have all the canon content to back you up and a beautiful story of love with the childhood friends-to-lovers trope, can't get much better. Plus, the whole game is about their bond. It's incredibly well developed at the end mostly when you see Chloe growing out of her initial angry phase, and maturing in a beautiful way. So, shipping Grahamfield in this fandom sometimes feels like hey, you are a giant dick. I don't like hate on any ship or character (especially dunking on Chloe, because she's a representation of how trauma is not nice while actually being cool and kind, as well as being one of the few wlw canon protagonists), because both choices are completely canon, it's entirely up to the player. Again, if Chloe was the only canon love interest then that would be totally cool. Buuuut Max can choose to go on a date with Warren, write on his slate that he is cute, raise his grade (which can be done as a friendship thing only), help him in his experiment, kiss him, and if she does, she writes in his diary "I wanted one kiss from a boy I cared about", that to me, reads as having a canon interest in him too. And since Max is bisexual from what I understand, erasing that part doesn't sit well with me. Both Chloe and Warren have flaws, which hey is what happens with characters. Can you imagine having perfect characters? That would be so boring. He is a realistic 16-year-old boy to Max's 18 and Chloe's 19 years. He is extremely awkward, dorky, a little cringy, a boy with a harmless boy with a crush and that's normal at that age. He's helpful almost to a fault, and while some argue that's because he feels entitled, let me tell you, no niceGuy I've ever met has been so helpful if you don't give in, they don't back out after someone lets them down nicely, and he states his interest in Max clearly, and niceGuys don't tend to do that because they like to pine away and be angry that a girl didn't read his mind and magically fell in love with him. He believes Max from the get-go and helps her all the time, regardless of his feelings, which is like, basic decency, so if you want to call him a piece of shit I think that's going a little too far. If you want to take the words of others, Kate says he's a smart and silly cutie-pie with a good heart, suggests they take him with them to their tea-shop tour of Portland after everything and supports their date (besides them being friends, he brings her homework and is shown worried about her). I don't remember that part well, but I think Alyssa and Dana also support Grahamfield (and Brooke is very jealous!) so I think if he was an asshole they wouldn't be so supportive and Brooke wouldn't be into him, or Stella in another reality. My only point is that hey if you don't like him that's fine, but to call him a pervert or entitled or assholery is kinda uncalled for, to be honest, and using the nightmare sequence, in which EVERYONE is out of character (except Jeffershit) and shown being assholes, as a canon that he is bad seems to me like going out of your way. It's a nightmare for a reason, do you really think Kate would have said those things to Max if you save her? She's incredibly grateful. Or do you think Chloe would have done those things??? She would NEVER. Then why is Warren being treated as someone who would do those things for a nightmare? I don't get it. There are two myths regarding him: that he spies on Max and that he photoshopped a photo with them. First one, you can verify with mods that he can't see SHIT, he is merely waiting for her outside. Second, the photo is developed, not photoshopped, Max doesn't say hey we never took that photo, she merely is surprised he kept it. Now, he's a bit pushy when it comes to the drive-in (he acknowledges he's a pain in the booty), says like a stupid joke (a 16-year-old making stupid jokes, what a crime), and has that photo, which for some is crossing boundaries, and hey, that's fine. I, personally, just think a 16-year-old having a photo with his friend and crush is not creepy or bad. So, now that I'm over the ship discourse, which I hate but had to write to explain, I'm so glad this game brought so many interesting characters. My only complaint is that it felt a little too short when it came to other characters, I guess it's because the literal theme of the game is about abandoning youth and growing up as well, so that's because it's very focused on Chloe and Max's relationship, besides the romance. I adore Kate! I’m so happy we were able to save her, it was seriously one of the best moments I’ve ever seen in a game, I would have liked to see her future children’s book with Max’s photos, their tea sessions, and her coming back to school. I would love to have seen more of Stella, (a POC I think) that according to her words, faced an abusive home and poverty to end up studying in a prestigious school like Blackwell, busting her ass to work and yet being super cool and kind! I would have loved to see more of Daniel, how he faced bullying, how his home life is, his budding romance with Brooke, his future drawings. I would have loved to see more of Dana! How she dealt with abortion, a heavy topic, and yet she's super happy, nice, and in a loving relationship apparently. I would have liked to see more of Juliet's reporting skills, I feel like she could have been more important to the plot, or at least more exposés on bullying and the Prescotts. I would have loved to see more of Alyssa, what she likes, her relationships, etc. I would have loved to see more of Taylor! How her mom was doing, what steps was she going to take in not falling with the Vortex Club bullshit, her love for fashion, like Courtney. We didn't get to know Courtney at all I feel and I would have liked to! I would have liked to see more of Victoria, her insecurities, her relationship with her parents, her inner thoughts (she's totally bi too I bet), even her friendship with Nathan seemed deeper. I would have liked to see more of cool hipster Evan, or good skater boy Luke. In short, I would have LOVED to have them all hanging more with Max. The ending, oh man, what an ending. It's incredibly hard, and I hate that saving Arcadia Bay seems to go into "bury your gays" trope, because if there was a way to save them both I would. The writing is very powerful, ending the way it began. This leads me to my initial topic, choices. I love that the game gives us choices, and considering there are other alternative realities, maybe both choices are canon in different universes. If I was in Chloe's shoes I couldn't choose to sacrifice my mom, and Joyce dies if Chloe is saved, as well as many other innocents, so I can't choose that ending, I just can't (and I understand that's totally personal for everyone). A really tough choice, at least for me, and hey, if it wasn't specified that practically everyone died, I would have saved Chloe no questions asked. I do love, however, how Chloe matures so much in the course of 5 days and her bond with Max. She sacrifices for Arcadia Bay, and a lot of it is because of Max, because she doesn't want her to make that choice. So now if you excuse me, I'm still playing the funeral scene in my mind and the bathroom scene (totally broken) and had to write this as cathartic, so feel free to disagree with me or whatever you prefer, each one of us experiences a different game because of our different experiences in life. Next step: BTS and LIS2 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x9uy4V8SvPk

#Life is Strange #Max Caulfield #Chloe Price #Warren Graham #Kate Marsh #Stella Hill #Daniel DaCosta #Dana Ward #Juliet Watson #Evan Harris #Luke Parker #Taylor Christensen #Victoria Chase

[allsassnoclass]

unmute: 2011

Hello friends here is chapter 1 of unmute, aka the off-screen prequel!

Fic tumblr masterpost

Read on AO3

warnings for this chapter: there is one mention of alcohol and there is one slight instance of homophobia (a microaggression)

thank you to bella @clumsyclifford for reading this over for me

Luke first meets Ashton on a normal Friday afternoon.  They’re in Luke’s garage to give Michael’s granny flat a break, the door open to let the spring breeze in to occasionally ruffle their fringes.  They’re messing around with a blink-182 song just for the heck of it when a bike skids to a stop on the sidewalk.  Luke doesn’t even notice at first, too caught up in positioning his fingers correctly on the fretboard and getting the words right, but once they finish singing someone outside starts clapping and Luke startles bad enough that his cheeks immediately feel like they’re on fire.

“Wow, you guys are really good!” the cutest boy that Luke has ever seen says.  Even from this distance, Luke thinks he can make out dimples at the corner of his smile.

“Thanks, mate!” Calum says.  The cute boy gives a thumbs up and pedals away, and Luke tries to trade the embarrassment of being caught singing with the boys unexpectedly for the pleasant burning of the compliment instead.

It happens again the next week.  The boy comes to a stop on his bike at the end of Luke’s driveway, and Luke notices him right away this time.  He sends a small smile as he finishes the chorus and the boy beams, bopping his head along.  When the final chord fades away, he claps, compliments them again, and then is off.

“Huh,” Michael says as the boy bikes away.

“What?” Luke asks.

“I’m pretty sure we’re Facebook friends.  We met at a party.  His name’s Ashton.”

“Invite him in next time, then,” Luke says.  It ends up being futile, because Michael’s parents let them back in the granny flat after that and there’s no more practicing in Luke’s garage following school.

-/-

He runs into the cute boy again unexpectedly at the movie theater.

It’s embarrassing, because Luke had just been minding his own business waiting for popcorn and hoping that he doesn’t see anyone he knows when a few boys from his school spot him.  Normally this would be fine, but Luke just got a haircut that he hates and he’s wearing his really dorky glasses, and these boys aren’t exactly bullies but they’re also not the nicest.

“Hey, Hemmings, how are you going to be a rockstar with those glasses?” one of them says, and the rest snicker, and Luke can feel himself closing in on himself instead of putting on his thick skin and acting like that doesn’t bother him.

“Maybe he’s trying to be a trendsetter,” one of the others says, glancing at him quickly.  The boys scoff and Luke knows that he should say something, but he’s desperately hoping that Jack appears from where he ran off to the bathroom instead.

“Popcorn for the guy in the awesome green glasses,” someone says, voice strong and melodic, and when Luke turns it’s not Jack that’s come to his rescue but the cute boy, fringe sweeping across bright eyes and tan skin, wearing the uniform of the movie theater and holding out a tub of popcorn across the counter.

“Thanks,” he says, stepping forward to take it, and the boy smiles widely at him.

Luke had been right.  He does have dimples.  And straight teeth.  And his eyes are hazel.  His name tag says Ashton, so Michael wasn’t lying about having met him before.  Luke wonders what he was doing when this party took place.

“Don’t listen to them,” Ashton says.  “With a voice like yours, they’ll be eating their words soon.”

“I hope so,” Luke says, and then, because Michael says they have to advertise the band better, “I’m in a band.  We’re called 5 Seconds of Summer, if you ever want to look us up.”

“I’ll do that,” Ashton says.  “I’ll admit I’ve been disappointed when I bike by that house and you guys aren’t practicing.”

Luke’s heart does an excited little twirl at that, because Ashton seems genuine.  Luke knows that the band is okay, otherwise he wouldn’t have put anything out on YouTube or let Michael and Calum invade his channel, but it’s nice to hear it from someone who isn’t an immediate family member.

“We’re practicing at Michael’s now,” Luke says.  “Maybe--”

He stops, because that’s a silly idea.

“What?” Ashton asks, tiling his head slightly.

“Well, we haven’t done any official gigs yet so I can’t invite you to those, but it might be good to play for someone else who’s not related to us, if you wanted to sit in on a practice or something.  But you don’t have to!  It’d probably be weird and I don’t know if Michael and Calum would be okay with it, although neither of them minded you watching from the driveway…” he trails off, chewing his lip.

“I’d love that!” Ashton says enthusiastically, startling Luke out of the unfortunate swirl of thoughts centering around how awful it is that he’s still so awkward.

“Really?”

“Yeah,” Ashton says.  “If your bandmates are okay with it, of course, but I’d like that a lot.”

“Oh.  Cool.”

Luke is trying to figure out if he should give Ashton his number, or ask for his, or how to go about coordinating this when the popcorn is snatched from his hands.

“Come on, Luke,” Jack says.  “Movie’s starting.”

He doesn’t wait for him, just sets off for the theater, and Luke scrambles to orient himself and follow.

“I’ll have Michael message you on Facebook!” he calls over his shoulder, throwing out a wave.  Ashton calls back a confirmation and returns the wave and then goes right back to smiling at the next customer and preparing concessions.

“Who was that?” Jack asks once they take their seats, thankfully before the previews have started.

“His name’s Ashton.  He likes the band.”

“Wow, a fan,” Jack says without the proper amount of enthusiasm Luke thinks being in a band that has real fans out in the world should warrant.  Luke elbows him and snatches the popcorn bucket, but not before Jack grabs a handful to stuff in his mouth.

Luke rolls his eyes and settles in for the movie.  When they leave afterwards he looks for Ashton, but doesn’t see him behind the concession counter.

-/-

Their next rehearsal dissolves pretty quickly into Michael and Calum playing video games while Luke pretends to do his homework instead of watch them.  He has a few assignments that need to get turned in to keep his grades up to his mum’s standard, but Michael and Calum are loud and vibrant and very, very distracting.  Luke is laying on the floor to avoid any stray elbows that get thrown, but he can’t let his guard down just in case.  As such, he’s done exactly half of a math problem.

When there’s a quiet moment he clears his throat and says “Hey, you guys remember Ashton?”

“The guy who was watching from the driveway?” Calum asks.

“Ashton from the party?” Michael adds.

“Yeah,” Luke says.  “I ran into him at the movie theater.  I think we should invite him to sit in on some practices.”

“Why?” Michael frowns.  Luke shrugs.

“It’ll be good to play in front of an audience, even if it’s just one person.  He seems cool and he likes the band.”

“Are we ready for that?” Calum asks.  Luke shrugs again.

“We already put out stuff on YouTube.  How much different can it be?”

“Yeah, but we mess up a lot before we upload the videos,” Michael says.  He looks at Luke critically, squinting in a way that makes Luke want to retreat like a turtle, except he can’t even effectively do that because it’s spring and he’s in a t-shirt.  Then Michael grins, wide and teasing.  “Does he really like the band, or do you just have a crush on him?”

Luke feels a blush flare up on his face, the type that stings.  

“Fuck you, I’m not gay!” he says, and a voice inside his head screams liar!  He stamps it down viciously.

He isn’t gay.  He might be bi, but that’s not relevant right now and he’s not going to make it relevant for a while, not when he doesn’t have to.  All of the boys at their school are tools, so it’s not like he’s going to have the chance to explore that side of himself here, anyway.

Maybe if the band actually goes somewhere he will.  But then again, maybe having a bi member would hurt them.  Maybe he’ll end up keeping this between him and the poster of All Time Low in his room forever.

Either way, it’s not relevant right now.  Luke likes flirting with girls and holding their hands and the few dry kisses he’s had, so he’s just going to focus on that.

“Aw, you do have a crush,” Michael says, catapulting him back to the real world, and his tone is teasing but it still makes Luke panic.  It’s not even true, because Ashton is super cute and he seems nice but that’s not-- Luke’s not trying to get to know him because of that.

“Are you jealous?” Luke asks, switching tactics because the more he fights against them the more Michael and Calum will clamp down on this line of teasing like dogs sinking their teeth into a particularly good bone.  Michael wrinkles his nose and recoils.

“Ew.”

And yeah, that stings a little, too.

Calum gets a look on his face that typically means he’s up to no good.

“I think I need to meet this Ashton guy,” he says.  “See if he’s any good for our little Lukey.”  He reaches over to ruffle his hair and Luke swats his hand away, which leads to a small tussle that ends in half of the pages of Luke’s textbook getting folded over.

“Fuck you guys,” Luke says once he has Calum in something resembling a headlock, a little out of breath but triumphant.  “He just seems cool.  I don’t have any cool friends and thought it’d be nice.”

“Hey,” Calum complains, then jabs him with his elbow and escapes.

“He says he’s free on Saturday,” Michael says, looking at his phone.  “I don’t want him at our practices until I know he’s okay, so we’re going bowling.”

“No one who goes bowling is cool,” Calum says.

“Shut up, Calum,” Michael says, then begins the next round of their game with no warning, leaving Calum scrambling to get ready.  Luke huffs a laugh and tries to get his textbook back to rights, even though he knows he won’t be getting any more homework done today.

-/-

On Saturday, Luke feels inexplicably nervous.

He shouldn’t, because Ashton isn’t special.  He’s just a guy that they met and now are going to hang out with a little.  Luke has already botched one conversation with him and survived, and he’ll have Michael and Calum with him this time for backup.  Besides, if it turns out that Ashton is awful they simply won’t ever invite him over.  If it turns out that he’s not, Luke could have a new friend.

He has friends.  He’s not an outcast at school or anything, and Michael and Calum are amazing most of the time, so it’s not like he’s hurting for friends.  Still, another one would be nice, and he really does think it could be good to get an outside perspective on their music.

His mum drops him off in front of the bowling alley where Michael is already waiting, running a hand through his fringe in a way that makes Luke think he might be a little nervous, too, which is unfortunate because Michael is typically the most boisterous out of them and Luke was counting on him to drag him through this if it starts to go sour.  When necessary, Michael is really good at muscling through uncomfortable situations for the sake of Luke or Calum.

“Call me when you’re done,” his mum says.  “Have fun.”

“Thanks,” he says distractedly, already partially out of the car.  Michael immediately brightens when he sees him.

“Hi,” he says.  Luke waves and jogs over.  “Cal’s going to be a little late and I have no fucking clue when Ashton’s going to show up.”

Oh no.  What if Ashton doesn’t want to come in general?  What if he changed his mind and doesn’t think the band or Luke are hot shit? Then not only will Luke be sad, but Michael and Calum will never let him live it down.

“Mate, you look like you’re going to be sick,” Michael frowns.  “Don’t barf on me.  Are you okay?”

“Yeah, fine,” Luke says.  “Maybe this was a bad idea.”

“It was your idea,” Michael says slowly.

“Yeah.  Maybe it was bad.”

“Luke, he’s just some guy.  It’s not like we’re proposing marriage.  It’s not like he might join the band or anything.  Relax.”  He knocks their shoulders together, throwing Luke off-balance and then catching him with a hand on his arm when he doesn’t bounce back right away.  Luke shrugs him off.

“I know that,” he says.

“So why are you being weird?”

He’s about to try to muster up an answer when someone calls their names.  Luke whips around fast enough that Micheal has to steady him again, but Ashton either doesn’t notice or doesn’t care, because he continues steadily walking towards them and his smile doesn’t waver.  Luke waves and hopes that that negates the fact that he just almost tripped over his own feet.

“Hey,” Michael says when he’s close enough.  “How’s it going?”

“Good, good,” Ashton says.  He rocks on his heels when he comes to a stop, and Luke feels inexplicably nervous again.  It’s different from seeing him with a driveway or movie theater counter between them.  Here there’s no distance or buffer, just Luke and Michael and Ashton.

At least his shirt is a pretty ugly purple.  No one can be too intimidating when wearing a shirt like that.

They exchange pleasantries until Michael suggests they go inside and get themselves sorted while they wait for Calum to show up.  They step into the air-conditioning and Luke immediately feels more at ease.  He loves bowling alleys.  He loves the gaudy carpet and the loud music and the weird lights and the funny shoes and the stacks of neon bowling balls by the lanes.  He especially loves this particular alley because he can pinpoint the carpet stain where he spilled his coke while here with his family then didn’t tell anyone so it had time to set before it got cleaned, or the lane they used when Calum broke one of the bumpers because he doesn’t like bowling without them but threw the ball too hard.

“Can I tell you something?” Ashton asks while Michael is paying for the lane rental and getting shoes, leaning close to be heard over the music and crash of pins being knocked down in the background.  He’s got his hands shoved in his pockets and a little smile on his face, and Luke is instantly convinced that he’d probably let Ashton say whatever he wants and hang off his every word.

“Sure,” Luke says.

“I’m shit at bowling.  I don’t remember the last time I actually played.”

“It’s okay.  Calum is, too,” Luke says.  “That’ll make him like you.  We’re not using the bumpers, though.”

Ashton frowns.

“Do you usually?”

Luke gets called up to the shoe rental before he can respond.  While he’s kicking off his sneakers Calum arrives, prompting another flurry of greetings and introductions and small talk, then they finally all head to their lane and can begin the game.

Ashton is not nearly as bad at bowling as he had implied.  He’s not great, and Luke is glad that the only real competition he has to worry about is Michael, but Calum still decidedly comes in last for their first round.  He vows to take Ashton down for the second, which isn’t likely, but Luke likes the teasing it prompts between them.

Conversation flows naturally with none of the awkward pauses or weird adjustments that Luke had been preparing himself for.  Honestly, it’s extremely easy to get along with Ashton.  He fits into their little group seamlessly, cracking jokes and asking questions and keeping up with their topic changes like he’s been doing it for years.  Luke’s not sure if he’s stopped smiling the entire time they’re bowling, and his smile is great.  It takes over his entire face, wide and infectious, and Luke has to remind himself to stop staring multiple times.

It’s still not a crush, but Ashton is cute, okay?  It’s an objective fact.  Luke is allowed to notice cute people without having a crush on them.

After their time at their lane is up, Luke’s stomach grumbles and convinces them all to stop by the Macca’s next door before they have to call their parents.  Luke wants to order one of everything on the menu, but he settles for some chicken nuggets and hot chips.  All of them get a large fry, so Luke is pretty sure he’s going to get to eat Calum’s leftovers since he won’t have to fight Michael for them, anyway.

“So Ashton,” Michael says once they’re sitting.  “Luke says you’re a fan of the band.”

“Yeah, you guys are pretty good,” he says, then pops some chips in his mouth.

“Do you play drums?” Calum asks around his own mouthful of burger.  “‘Cause that’d be convenient.”

“No, I wish,” Ashton says ruefully.  “I’m not very musical.  My forte is visual art.”

“Really?” Luke asks.  “Like, drawing and painting and stuff?”

“Yeah,” Ashton says, straightening up.  “I want to study it after school.  I actually really want to go to college in America for it.  I’ve been looking at places with scholarships for international students.  They don’t start their school years until September, so I could work full time for most of the year to save up since I graduate in December.”

“Wow,” Michael says.

“That’s cool,” Luke says, because yeah, wow.  Luke can’t imagine leaving behind everyone he knows to go to a different hemisphere, but Ashton seems excited for it, eyes shining.  He must really love art.

“If you guys ever make it to America, hit me up,” he says.  “I’ll be in the front row at your show.”

“When,” Michael corrects.  Ashton grins at him.

They manage to almost finish their meal before Ashton gets a text from his mum requesting him home.  As soon as he’s gone Michael turns to the other two, fast enough that Luke’s a little worried he’ll get whiplash.

“That shirt is fucking ugly.”

Luke and Calum dissolve into laughter.

“What?  Am I wrong?” Michael asks.

“No, it’s ugly,” Calum says around giggles.  Luke nods around his own laughter and Michael leans back in his chair, satisfied.

“Besides that I like him, though,” he says.  Luke feels warmth blossom inexplicably inside him, pleased on Ashton’s behalf.

“Me too,” Calum says.

“Yeah, me three,” Luke says.  Michael nods decisively and Luke’s heart starts beating a little bit faster in anticipation of their next band practice.

-/-

When Ashton arrives for the next band practice, Michael, Calum, and Luke are all playing Fifa in the granny flat.  Michael’s mum must let him in, because one moment Luke is in the zone and the next there’s a prickle of awareness giving him goosebumps and Ashton is there, existing in his periphery.

“Hey Ashton,” he says, not breaking eye contact with the screen.  Michael and Calum ganged up on him for this round and Luke is determined not to lose.

"Hey," Ashton says.  "What're you guys doing?"

"Fifa!" Michael says in his best sports-announcer voice.  Calum scores a goal and crows right before the game ends, throwing his hands up.  Luke considers throwing his controller but settles for a very loud groan and scrubbing his hands over his face instead before taking his first good look at Ashton of the day.

He's not wearing the ugly purple shirt, but rather a green v-neck that hugs the tops of his arms and ensures Luke can see his collarbones.  Luke tries not to make it obvious that he's looking at Ashton's muscles, following the line of his arms down to bracelets knotted around his wrists and a black book in his hands.

"You can join Luke's team," Calum says.  "He sucks though, fair warning."

"Hey!  I do not!"  He tries to smack Calum, but he has to reach over Michael to do it, which means both of them shove him away and he almost topples over.

"I don't play Fifa," Ashton says.

"What," Michael squawks.  Luke stares incredulously, but Ashton just shrugs and adjusts his fringe before flopping down on the ottoman.

"I don't really like Fifa.  I'm not big on video games in general, but Fifa isn't one of the ones I play."

"We can't be friends anymore," Michael sighs dramatically, falling backwards with an arm over his eyes like a fainting maiden.  Luke pokes his stomach to make him jolt.  "How can you not like Fifa?"

Ashton shrugs again.

"I just don't."

"You're lucky you're not actually in the band," Calum says, brandishing his controller.  "This would be grounds to kick you out."

"It's true," Luke says.  "The only band rule is that everyone must like Fifa.  That's why we haven't replaced Michael yet."

"Hey!  There wouldn't be a band without me!"

Michael tackles Luke to the ground, knocking the wind out of him with an oof.  He flails, but Michael digs his fingers into his side, making him shriek.

"Ashton!  Calum!  Help!"

Ashton sighs, then turns to Calum, who shrugs.

"I'm not getting involved in that."

"Betrayal!" Luke calls between giggles, uselessly kicking at Michael but unable to make satisfying contact.  Michael finally relents once Luke feels like his lungs are about to burst from the lack of a good inhale.  He pants on the floor for a few more moments, then heaves himself to sitting and runs his fingers through his hair to set it back to rights.  Ashton gives him a wry smile.  Luke ducks his head, cheeks still flushed from the tickling.

"Is this how band practice usually starts?" Ashton asks.

"Only when Luke's being annoying," Michael huffs.  Luke flips him off.

"Well, we do usually start with Fifa, yeah," Calum says.  "Sometimes we just hang out instead of practicing, which is probably why we're still kinda shit."

"Hey," Luke says.

"Yeah, hey," Michael frowns.  "Don't shit-talk the band."

"You guys do it all the time!"

"Not in front of a guest," Michael says, gesturing at Ashton.  "Besides, we're never going to make it out of Sydney if you keep believing we're bad."

"I didn't say we were bad, I said we're kinda shit.  You can be a good band and still be kinda shit."

Luke frowns, but Michael launches into a quick rebuttal before he can and Luke decides to stop following.  He glances at Ashton and shrugs.  Ashton smiles, pressing his lips together in a way that Luke hopes means he's holding back a laugh instead of being uncomfortable.  His eyes are dancing too much for it to be a bad thing, though, so Luke returns his smile full force.

It's nice to have someone else here for when Michael and Calum go off on their tangents.  Luke never feels left out or anything, but sometimes it's obvious that they have their own language and dynamic bred from years of history that Luke is still catching up on.  They all understand each other in different little, intricate ways, but it's nice to have someone to share his own secret smiles with when the others are in their own world instead of him staring off into space and waiting for them to jump to a conversation he can be involved in.

Ashton drums his fingers against the black notebook in his lap, drawing Luke's full attention to it while the others squabble in the background.

"Hey, what's that?" he asks.

"This?" Ashton asks, holding it up.  It's a hardcover, with thick black loops binding it together.  Luke nods.  "It's my sketchbook.  I figured it'd be better to have something to do than just stare at you guys while you practice."

"Can I see?" Luke asks eagerly.  Ashton pulls the book closer to his chest, a small subconscious movement, smile cracking with nervousness at the edges.

"Not yet.  I'll show you when I have something good, though."

Luke deflates, but nods.

"They're unfinished," Ashton explains.  "They're messy.  I don't try very hard with my sketches, and I want your first impression of my art to be a good one.  Sorry."

"It's okay," Luke says.  "I get it."

Luke doesn't point out that showing him the sketchbook would probably be like Ashton sitting in on a practice, because maybe Ashton’s not there with him yet.  He wants to reach that level, though.  He wants to sit on Ashton's bed and leaf through his art with him, letting Ashton explain what he wants and drawing his own ideas from moments of silence.

"Hey," Michael says, clapping his hands a few times.  "Are we going to practice or what?"

Luke rolls his eyes, because he wasn't the one arguing with Calum about whether their band is bad or shitty, but goes to get his guitar anyway.  He takes him time tuning it, waiting for the others to get ready as well, and Ashton gets comfortable, lounging back.  They bicker a bit about what song they want to do, but not as much as usual because Luke made them all talk about it at lunch so they don't look like fools in front of Ashton, although it's probably much too late for that, and the first play-through is always a little rough, but it's fine.  Ashton's gaze is a gentle weight on his shoulders, and Luke smiles while he sings.

-/-

Luke waits anxiously by the door, glancing out the window every so often to see if he can spot Ashton making his way up the block to Michael's house on his bike.  He's coming straight from work, and they delayed practice a bit today so that he could be there for it.  They've started factoring Ashton's schedule into their practices a bit more, and Luke likes it.  It's maybe not as productive, but band practices feel better when all four of them are there.  Having Ashton sitting in the corner bent over his sketchbook or, in more dire cases, doing homework and revising for exams puts Luke more at ease, and even though he claims not to be musical he has good suggestions for dividing up parts of songs and is willing to tell them when they can do better.

He always phrases it that way, too.  Not "that wasn't good," but "you guys can do better."  Luke likes that he has standards for them.  He likes how sure he is that the band is worth something.

"Luke, sit down," Michael says, picking up another piece of pizza and trying not to lose all of his toppings on the way to his mouth.  "Waiting for him isn't going to make him appear faster."

"I'm too excited to sit," he says, snagging another piece of pizza for himself.  They're supposed to leave some for Ashton, just to be polite, but at the rate they're going that won't happen unless Ashton pulls up right now.

"I still can't believe it," Calum says, awestruck.

"Me neither," he says.

"I can't believe they said yes," Michael confesses.  "I hoped they would, obviously, but I wasn't sure if they would like the YouTube videos."

"This is big," Luke says.  "Like, this could be life-changing."

"Yeah, you said that earlier," Calum says.

"Because it's true."

The doorbell rings and Luke scrambles to standing, basically sprinting to the door to answer before anyone else and effectively cutting off the rest of the conversation.  He throws the door open wide, greeting Ashton with an exuberant smile that he tiredly returns.  He's always a little tired after a shift, shoulders slumped and everything worn at the edges, but Luke's glad that he still comes over when invited.  Luke likes to think that they rejuvenate him a little.

"Hi," he beams.

"Hey," Ashton says.  "You're in a good mood."

"Hey Ashton!" Calum calls from inside.  "There's one piece of pizza for you if you want it before Luke or Michael take it!"

"Oh," Ashton says, perking up.  Luke steps aside to let him in and follows him to the main room.

"Pizza?" Ashton asks, sinking to the floor and taking the offered piece while Luke takes a spot next to him.  "What's the occasion?"

Michael, Calum, and Luke exchange giddy looks, excitement palpable in the air until Luke can't take it anymore and blurts, "We have a gig!"

Ashton freezes, looking at all three of them before one of his signature grins splits his face.

"No fucking way!" he exclaims.  "Seriously?  Where?  When?  Holy shit, congrats!"

"December third at the Annandale Hotel," Michael says.  He's practically vibrating.  Luke thinks the three of them are probably holding enough energy to power a small city right now.

"A real gig," Ashton breathes.  "I'll be there, obviously."

"Obviously," Luke repeats.  "We can't do our first official gig without our biggest fan."  Ashton gives Luke a smile, the type that makes something warm blossom in Luke's stomach.

"Do you know what you're going to play yet?" Ashton asks.

"No, we just found out today," Calum says.  "We were going to try to make the setlist tonight."

"And we still need to find a drummer," Michael says.  Ashton hums.

"Do you have anyone in mind?"

They all shake their heads.  The Drummer Issue, as it has been officially dubbed by the band, is becoming a bigger and bigger thorn in their sides.  They feel good as a three-piece, but you can't play a gig without a drummer.  Michael fills in on percussion sometimes when they really need it, but he likes guitar much better and it's a little late to make him learn how to be a proper drummer when they don't even have a kit to use.

"I might be able to help," Ashton says.  "One of my friends plays drums.  He's not looking to join a band or anything, but he's a quick learner and could probably play at the Annandale at least if you don't have someone more permanent by then."

"Who is he?" Michael asks, reaching for the laptop they upload all of their covers on.  "Pull up his Facebook."

He elbows his way between Luke and Ashton so he can lean over Ashton’s shoulder and Luke scoots over to Calum instead, content to munch on his pizza and leave them to do whatever internet-stalking Michael deems appropriate.  Michael's approval is the hardest one to get in the band, so if he thinks the guy looks good they'll probably end up using him, and Ashton's recommendation carries a lot of weight.

"A real gig," Calum says reverently, staring at his pizza like it's the greatest gift in the world.  Luke knocks their shoulders together and continues leaning against him while the other two talk.

A real gig.  Luke has always put a lot of weight into being in a band, but there's something more official about it now.  They're a real band, not just a band to themselves and a handful of people on YouTube, but to people who will see their name on the marquee and everyone who enters through the doors that night.  5 Seconds of Summer is going to get a chance to play in front of a real crowd, not just Ashton.  This is the start of something huge, he can feel it.

If he had to pick anyone in the world to share this moment with, he’d pick the three people in this room right now.  Luke leans his head against Calum’s shoulder and lets himself imagine the possibilities.

-/-

The night before they're meant to perform at the Annandale, Luke can't sleep.  He tosses and turns, trying to find a comfortable position and failing, flipping his pillow over to the cool side and readjusting his covers and still staring uselessly at the ceiling.  The clock on his side table reads 3:43, red letters blinking mockingly at him as every second ticks by.  He sighs, turning back to look at his ceiling.

He could try to text Michael or Calum, but he doesn’t want them to know how anxious he is, stomach already tied in knots with over twelve hours before the performance.  They might be dealing with their own nerves and he doesn’t need to add to them, or they might be fine and think he’s being stupid.  He could keep laying here, but the longer he does that the more he starts thinking about how everything could go wrong.

What if he forgets the words?  What if his voice cracks?  What if he doesn’t tune his guitar properly and everyone cringes at the first strum?  What if he loses all of his picks?  What if a string breaks?  What if no one even shows up and it’s just the three of them and Ashton’s mellow drummer friend playing to an empty room and then no one lets them do a gig ever again?

He could try texting Ashton.  He might not even be awake, but if he does reply he’d probably say something reassuring that would have Luke’s shoulders unclenching and quiet his racing mind.  Ashton is good at stuff like that, but he doesn’t say things unless he means them.  If he tells Luke that things are going to be alright, things are probably going to be alright.

He grabs his phone from the nightstand, squinting at the brightness.

Luke: U up?

He cringes when he realizes how much that sounds like a come-on.  Whatever, it’s not like Ashton expects him to be doing that, so hopefully he’ll brush it off.

He’s about to try willing himself to sleep again when his phone lights up.

Ashton: yeah whats up

Luke: nothn whats up w u

Ashton: nothing lol. u excited 4 tmrw?

This is his chance.  Ashton has given him a clear opening and all Luke has to do is tell him that the thought of going out onstage is giving him a stomach ache and he’s going to die if he doesn’t get to sleep soon.  Ashton might think he’s silly and dramatic and a baby, but if Luke works himself up any more over this he’s not going to be able to look at his guitar tomorrow, let alone pick it up, and he needs to be able to do that.  He can’t let the band down.

Luke: scared

Ashton: y? u guys r going to kill it!

Luke: what if i suck

Ashton: u dont ur a rockstar! i have gd taste in bands u deserve this opportunity& will be awesome

Luke: what if im not

Ashton: its ur first gig youll only get better frm here uv put in 2 much work 2 b scared u will be amazing

Luke: what if no 1 shows up

Ashton: ill b there! u can play 2 me ppl will come

Luke takes a deep breath.  Ashton’s probably right.  This is their first gig, and he seems convinced that there will be others.  Even if they bomb tomorrow or it’s only Ashton in the crowd, they can bounce back.  They’ve put a lot of work into the band, and he can’t let one shitty performance define them, especially when he doesn’t even know if it’s going to be shitty yet.  Ashton seems to think they’ll be alright, and Ashton is usually trustworthy.

Luke: thx

Ashton: no prob :)

Luke looks at his clock again and wonders if this will be enough to let him sleep, but something niggles at his mind.

Luke: y r u awake rn?

Outside, one lone car drives down the street.  Luke tries to imagine himself in the center of some big city like New York or Los Angeles instead of a suburb outside of Sydney.  He tries to imagine Ashton at a college town in the United States, living in a dormitory with all his friends and staying out late regardless of if he has classes in the morning.

Ashton: cant sleep sketching instead

He sends a picture with it and Luke waits patiently for the image to load.  When it finally does, he's greeted with a horizontal photo of Ashton's sketchbook, yellow light from a lamp barely illuminating the page.  It must be the scene outside Ashton's window, an empty street with houses lining the pavement and a rough sketch of a streetlight at the end of the block.  It's just graphite against creamy white paper, but Luke wishes he were seeing it in person so he could trace his finger over the lines.  They're rushed, but confident and bold.  Ashton has shaded most of the page to give the illusion of nighttime, and Luke imagines him sitting at his window, glancing up every-so-often for reference as he recreates what he can see on paper.

Luke: wow ur really good!

Ashton: <3 ty

Luke bites his lip, trying to figure out something else to say.  After a few minutes of silence, Ashton texts first.

Ashton: get some sleep luke. see u tmrw

His stomach sinks, but it’s probably for the best.  He’d keep talking to Ashton all night if he could, but he needs to sleep.  He has a gig tomorrow.

Luke: gn

He puts his phone down and lays back in bed, taking a deep breath.  To avoid thinking more about tomorrow, he tries to imagine what other creations could be in Ashton's sketchbook, black lines drawing themselves on the blank canvas of his mind until he finally falls asleep.

-/-

Luke paces anxiously as well as he can in the cramped “backstage” space.  They're about to begin the set, and it's just as nerve-wracking as he thought it was going to be.  Ashton's drummer friend is a picture of calm, twirling his sticks with a bored frown, but Michael and Calum are both jittery, too.  Calum is picking nervously at the bass he's holding, about to make his official debut as a bass player, and Michael keeps tapping his foot restlessly.

There's a few people here.  A group of girls is huddled by the stage waiting for them to start and Luke is supremely grateful that they showed up, but it brings up a new set of anxieties.  They're playing original songs for the first time, and it's one thing to be able to sing a cover, but it's another to present people with new material and ask them to like it.  They can't let these fans down, no matter how tiny the crowd might be.

His phone vibrates in his pocket and Luke digs it out.

Ashton: break a leg rockstar :)

Luke doesn't have time to reply before the lights are dimming, the crowd is cheering, and he's following Michael onstage.

The show is amazing.

Like, objectively it's probably not, but Luke has the time of his life anyway.  He's shaky and nervous for the first minute, then he actually looks up and sees Ashton standing off to the side with a camera in hand, million-watt smile on his face, and suddenly things are easy.  They mess up and they're awkward and they give it everything they've got.  The crowd is small but mighty, the music is messy but sincere, and Luke starts to figure out how to be a rockstar on a tiny stage in a hotel in Sydney, Michael and Calum blossoming into their own stars next to him.

He tears up a little during "Everything I Want," which should probably be super embarrassing, but mostly he's just happy.  He can't believe people came.  He can't believe this is real and not a dream.  He can't believe he's lucky enough to do this with his two best friends.  It's only up from here, and Luke already feels like he's on top of the world.

When they take their bows and exit the stage, Luke is buzzing.  He pulls the other two into a hug, the kind that’s so fierce it feels like he’s suffocating, and they all laugh and cheer and maybe Luke cries a little bit again.  He tearily thanks their drummer, who looks marginally less bored now that the show has actually been played, and accepts hugs from his parents and pats on the back from his brothers.  He talks to a few of the fans that have lingered and even signs his first autograph, which is insane to think about.

When he finally has a spare moment, he finds Ashton and throws his arms around him.

"Hey!  Amazing job!" Ashton says in his ear, holding him just as securely.  Luke tucks his face in his shoulder and squeezes.

"I thought you wanted to be in the front row," Luke says once he makes himself let go.

"I figured I'd let the other fans get a chance.  I have a front row seat at every practice, so it only seemed fair.  I got some good pictures, though."

He holds up his camera and Luke brightens even more, if possible.  He feels like he's glowing brighter than the stage lights already.  He feels like he's probably glowing more than all of the stage lights in all of the big stadiums around the world combined.

"Can I see?" he asks.  Ashton doesn't get a chance to answer before Michael and Calum appear in an enthusiastic, all-encompassing storm, pulling both of them out of their corner because Karen promised to buy pizza in celebration and both of them were too nervous to eat before and are starving now.  Luke is, too, and he tugs Ashton to follow them out to the cars.

"Wait, shouldn't this just be band and family?" Ashton says, dragging his feet.

"Don't be stupid," Michael says, taking his other hand and helping Luke pull him forward.

"Yeah, you're basically part of the band," Calum says.  "As much as our temp drummer, anyway, and Mum invited him along."

Ashton's drummer friend declines, so it's just them and their families.  Ashton sits sandwiched between Luke and Calum and Luke's mum jokes about that side of the table needing four pizzas just for themselves.  When the adrenaline finally wears off part way through the meal, Luke slumps against Ashton's side and sighs contentedly.

He's pretty sure this is the best day of his life.

-/-

Ashton graduates in mid-December.  Luke texts him a quick congratulations, but they don't see each other until a few days after.  The band decided they need to celebrate (or maybe they just want the excuse to get ice cream along with the usual pizza), but Ashton spends a few days hanging out with friends from school and his family.  Luke thinks it's ridiculous that they have to wait almost an entire week to see him, but they decide to all stay over at Michael's when they do, so Luke can't pout too much.

They pick Ashton up instead of making him bike over, which they make a big deal out of as his graduation present.  They leave the passenger seat open for him, at least, so he doesn't have to squish into the back, and he graciously thanks them with a lofty voice, like a king talking to his royal subjects.  They make a big deal out of ordering Ashton's favorite pizza, too, which is just one of their usual orders, then grab some chips and pass around goon and put in Iron Man, because Ashton wants to watch the Marvel movies and Michael has all five of them.  The wine goes down easy in the way cheap wine usually does, and soon Luke has a pleasant buzz, enjoying the way the room fuzzes at the edges from his place squished between Michael and Calum on the sofa.  Ashton is alone in the arm chair, and Luke wishes he were squished in here with them, too.

Calum dozes off first, so after Iron Man 2 they set up blankets and sleeping bags.  Michael claims the couch because it's his house, so Luke watches Thor from the floor, propped against the front of the couch so he can see the TV better, Calum on one side and Ashton on the other.  Calum falls asleep again quickly, and near the end of the movie Michael starts breathing deeply, the kind of breathing that's close to a snore.  During the credits Luke blinks at Ashton and finds him already looking back.

"Hey," Ashton says.  "Want to watch Captain America?"

Luke nods.  Ashton carefully picks his way over to the TV, crouching to exchange the DVDs.  Backlit by the screen, Luke can see the way his hair is starting to get slightly wavy at the ends now, hours and hours since he last straightened it for the flat-iron fringe they all sport.  Luke wonders what his natural hair is like.  He likes that he's going to get to see it in the morning, but that also means that Ashton is going to see his bedhead, too.

"Hey," Luke says quietly when Ashton returns.  "The others are asleep."

Ashton glances at them, then grins.  "Do you have a marker?"

They give Calum a mustache, which is hard because the smell of the marker right under his nose keeps making him shift, then giggle their way through drawing a dick on Michael's cheek.  Ashton clamps a hand over Luke's mouth at one point when Michael hums and moves, and both of them hold their breath until he settles again, smacking his lips.

"Shhhh," Ashton says in his ear.  Luke shivers at the proximity, then nods.  Ashton moves his hand, so they continue to give Michael a few more doodle-tattoos before deeming themselves done and returning to their sleeping bags.

"They're going to hate us in the morning," Luke giggles.  Ashton snickers next to him, and they turn back to the movie.  It holds Luke's attention for the beginning, but now that he's aware of it, Ashton's presence as the only other one awake takes up the room.  Luke hears his huffs of laughter and every rustle of his sleeping bag hidden between the dialogue and backing soundtrack.  When he grins, it's still bright even though the TV is the only thing illuminating the room.  It creates weird shadows on his face, valleys of black amidst the blue-lighted highlights, but it doesn't make him look strange or unfamiliar.  If anything, it assures Luke that he'd be able to recognize Ashton in any context.  He’s not the artist out of the two of them, but he wonders if he’d be able to draw Ashton from memory.

"Are you going to miss us when you're in America?" Luke asks.

Ashton drags his attention away from the movie to look at him again.

"Yeah, of course.  You guys are some of my best friends."  Luke tries not to show how happy that makes him.  Sometimes he thinks that Ashton must thing that they're all stupid and immature kids.  Ashton has graduated and has plans for his life and takes care of his family.  Luke draws dicks on his friend's faces when they fall asleep.

"You're one of my best friends, too," he says.  "I'm really glad you talked to me at the movies."

"I'm glad you invited me to go bowling."

"It was technically Michael who did that," Luke says, ducking his head.

"No," Ashton says with a small smile.  "He sent the message, but I know you told him to."

Luke hums and settles deeper into his blanket.

"Are you going to miss me when your band makes it big and you're on tour all the time?" Ashton asks.

"Yeah.  I think I'm going to miss you a lot."

Luke can already feel the phantom pain deep in his chest where he's going to miss him.  He once again wishes there was some way for Ashton to stay with them without sacrificing his own dreams.  It's strange; he's so excited for the band to take off, but now that it's a real possibility that their dreams are coming true and they'll move on to bigger and better things, it hurts a little.

Well, it hurts to think of leaving his family, and it hurts to think of Ashton leaving him.

"Besides, you're the one who's getting out of here,” he says.  “5sos has still only played one gig."

"You're going to be huge," Ashton says.  He states it calmly, like an accepted fact.  It's in the same way he'd say that the sky is blue.  "You'll get out of here and get to see the whole world a thousand times over."

Luke nods, curling into his blanket a little more.  On screen, Steve asks Bucky if he's ready to follow Captain America into the jaws of death.  Bucky says, Hell no.  That little guy from Brooklyn who was too dumb not to run away from a fight... I'm following him.

"Are you scared of leaving?" he asks quietly.  Ashton stays silent for a long time.  Luke watches him blink in the dim light, eyes toward the TV but too still to be watching it.

"I'm more scared of being stuck here forever," he confesses eventually.  "I love Australia, but... I don't want to turn into my mum, and I don't know how to prevent that unless I get out of here.  I love my family, I really do.  You know that, right?"  Luke nods.  "I love them, and I feel like I've always been taking care of them.  Even just wanting to leave is selfish, but filling out the applications for the schools was awful.  I felt so guilty, but... I don't know.  Australia has a great art scene that I probably should focus on instead, but I keep thinking about America.  If I don't go, I'm going to spend the rest of my life regretting it."

Ashton traces a thread on his blanket.  Luke wants to take his hand.

"I don't think it's selfish," Luke says.  "You can't let your entire life be determined by them.  They understand, right?"

"Mum does," Ashton says.  "I don't think Lauren and Harry get why I want to go so far away."

He sighs.  It feels heavy in the darkness.

"It doesn't matter yet, anyway.  It depends on if I even get into any of the schools I applied for and if we have the money.  I've been saving as much as I can, but it might not be enough.  America is so fucking expensive."

"You'll get there," Luke says.  "If our band is going somewhere, you definitely will, too."

Ashton shoots him a grateful smile.  Luke wants to tuck it in his pocket.  He's already saving pieces of Ashton in preparation of when they'll be halfway around the world from each other.

"Next year will be good for us," Ashton says.  "2012 is going to be a big breakthrough for us both."

"Yeah," Luke says.  "I believe you."

They watch the rest of the movie in silence.  When the credits roll, Luke realizes that Ashton fell asleep while he was distracted by the story, eyes closed peacefully next to him.  It’s strange to see him so relaxed and still, like some sort of marble statue.  He rarely stops moving when he’s awake, but here all of the stress lines he carries with him are smoothed out.  Luke didn’t know that they were there, but now the absence of them is obvious.

The movie menu screen reappears, loud music and bright colors startling him.  He grabs the remote and turns off the TV, plunging the room into darkness.  He tries to get comfortable, tossing and turning a bit on the floor and adjusting his blanket a few times, then closes his eyes.  Sleep doesn’t come easy, and he stays awake for a long time listening to Ashton, Calum, and Michael breathing.

#lashton #5sos fic #my writing #unmute #ahhhhhHHHHHHH #off screen #just lots of yelling lads #it's here!!! unmute is here!!!!

[sproutics-garden]

*cough* I would like some Damien and Toria headcannon please? Hand them over!!!

YUS! to anyone reading this randomly, it’s just a side thing i do, however i’m happy to explain it if anyone is for some reason curious-

Aight, pre-WKM!

-Damien is a crybaby

-And Toria is a mom friend

-so quite the pair we’ve got here

-Damien gets stressed real easy, especially since he works in the law

-so Toria will give him a lot of reassurance when he needs it

-which... he needs it a lot

-this man literally cries when he sees a cute dog

-he’s the definition of a gentle giant

-however, Damien has to make sure Toria stops fucking working for once

-queen never gets a break

-and oh boy, did they both get worse after Julia was born-

-sleep is in the negatives

-thank god Celine or William would babysit for them

-AND YOU BEST BELIEVE THEY DID THE TAKE A BREAK SHIT LIKE FROM HAMILTON

-but fr, they were goals

-everyone shipped it

Post-WKM!

-oh boy did everything change

-Damien is... barely himself, in little words, he barely even went by Damien anymore obviously

-cold hearted, quick and hot tempered, reserved, avoids human contact at all costs, etc

-and kinda a huge asshole

-man isn’t afraid to manipulate anyone he needs to, seduce anyone in the way, kick anyone, even colleagues, to the curb after one slip-up

-basically the worst

-and Toria was shocked when she saw this, he wasn’t the man she had married anymore

-of course, people change over years, including her

-she was incredibly jumpy after getting out of the mirror, pretty much always shivering either from being cold or from fear

-it was overwhelming to be thrown almost 100 years in the future with no warning

-Damien was able to adjust since he witnessed it, but she hadn’t a clue that everything had changed so much

-speaking of which

-Toria witnessing Damien’s newfound behavior was the worst reality check she’d ever seen

-the reality that nothing was the same anymore and it never would be again

-but it was saddening that the once kind man she knew was no longer himself

-but deep down, of course he still loved her, he had just lost how to show it

-and Toria was still willing to see him out

-and as the trope goes, he has a soft spot for her

-for example, if, for example, Google, called him Damien

-he would most likely almost be murdered

-but if Toria did, he would have no extreme reaction, it would just be usual

-and oh ho ho

-he’s so much gayer now-

-Damien was already bisexual since about high school

-but he had only actively dated a man once

-h o w e v e r

-as i said, Dark became seductive when needed

-which led to him dating both Wilford and Anti for a time

-dating Anti was a mistake

-it only lasted a few months anyways

-Anti is the worst to date, sorry fangirls

-that’s a self callout

-as supportive as Toria is (also being bi), she was not happy

-but Wilford is so silly and lovable, how can you stay mad at him-

-next one!

-Toria grew fond of Ethan very quickly

-Damien had kinda taken him under his wing, having a spry ally could be useful for catching that pesky pansexual Actor Mark

-(you didn’t read that)

-but Damien grew fond of him

-and so did Toria!

-he proved to be quite a helpful person in planning, while also being live bait

-but why, you may ask, did Damien want to catch Actor Mark so desperately?

-cuz he dun child-napped his daughter Julia after the events of Who Killed Markiplier

-wiped her mind clean, created fake memories for her, and warped basically her entire old personality

-so now Julia is a huge bitch

-great

-a mini Actor Mark

-Toria had seen her a few times and it crushed her inside

-they would usually send Ethan to track her down, which usually resulted in him getting beat up

-but they got her eventually-

-they both tried to be so huggy with her

-they got punched

-but once again, the gay parents got their gay child

-”Hey Mum, Dad, I’m gay...”

-”Same”

-”You thought we weren’t????”

-and when they saw Julia had cut her hair to be very androgynous, Damien was like “k ur my child, not my daughter???”

-and Julia cried

-Toria was beyond confused

-so they had to explain what non-binary was

-that was a nice conversation

-but they’re a good ol’ fam

-not a functional one

-but they certainly are a family

-...then the egos fuck shit up

#who killed markiplier #actor mark #mayor damien #the colonel #oc #oc roleplay #headcanons #Toria is not my oc #go follow my mutuals theyre so cool #Damien is fruity as fuck #this is a sin probably

[yikesharringrove]

I love the last thing you wrote for Steve being out as Bi. Really heavy but heartwarming. I also loved the idea of him being kinda a queer mentor to little Will. That’s such a big bead canon I have or more like a wish that him or Billy could give some support to my gay son will. Do you have anything more you could write on that? -catharrington

@catharrington sorry for taking so long!

So I have this bad boy that I wrote a little while ago, but I can go for a modern version if that sounds good! So, no monster au, Tommy is a good friend bc I lowkey love him and don’t talk about that enough.

Will had always known he was gay.

He had always been much more inclined to look at boys than girls, had liked looking at the guys on the covers of Jonathan’s records. He had been sure the first time he played baseball.

The little league was during the summer, usually coached by the guys on the high school team that needed a little pocket money.

He had only done it to make his dad happy, make him proud, but the first time he was standing in the field, and Steve Harrington had shown up, just about fifteen, ready to coach their team. He had made varsity as a freshman, and had a bit of a reputation of being a douchebag.

But he was nice. He was kind to Will, took the time to explain things to him, show him patiently what he was doing wrong and how to fix it. He was gentle and had big kind eyes and Will knew he liked boys.

Steve came out later that school year, he’d been dating a guy from the University of Indianapolis. He wasn’t the type of guy people labeled queer in small town Indiana. He was a jock, a cool guy, a womanizer. But all of a sudden he was shrugging and saying I don’t really mind either way, I just kinda like people.

Will once saw Steve and that guy downtown. He was waiting for his mom outside of Melvald’s when they walked down the sidewalk across the street. They were holding hands, laughing with one another. The guy, Will never bothered to learn his name, spun Steve under his arm. He could hear Steve laugh, could see how brightly he smiled when they kissed.

He was mesmerized. It was the first time, he had ever seen two queer men together in public, just being together it made him so happy.

He heard later that Steve caught that guy cheating on him and slashed his tires.

The next time he was Steve with someone, he had his arm around Nancy, was making her laugh, whispering into her ear. He wanted, just once to find someone he could be like that with. So comfortable, so in love.

But then Nancy left him, and started dating Jonathan, and he was happy for Jon, had know about the crush he’d had for years, but he couldn’t help being just a little mad at Nancy, saw Steve crying in his car once, figured it was over her.

When Billy Hargrove showed up in town, Will felt the exact same way he had when he saw Steve for the first time. He knew these little crushes of his wouldn’t lead anywhere, were just little crushes on the only good-looking guys in this town, but he liked looking, and in looking came noticing.

He saw the way Steve’s eyes would light up when he heard the Camaro rumbling down the road. Saw the way Billy would brush their hands together, knock his shoulder into Steve’s, always touching in these really small ways.

When Steve was giving him a ride home, it all came kind of, tumbling out.

“Are you and Billy together?” Steve looked at him, one eyebrow raised.

“So what if we are?” Will shrugged.

“I just, I’ve noticing some things. The way you guys look at one another. Steve was quiet for a moment before sighing, pulling off to the side of the road.

“Look, Will. We are. We’ve been together for a few months now, but, you can not tell anyone.” Steve’s eyes were wide, will nodded vigorously.

“Is he, is he not out?”

“It’s not that, exactly. I mean no, he’s not out, but that’s more because he can’t be.” He took a breath. “His dad reminds me of yours. He’s kind of a huge asshole. It’s not safe for Billy to be out. So, we gotta hide it.”

“I promise I won’t tell! I can keep a secret.” Steve smiled at him, really soft. “I’m gay.”

He hadn’t registered he’d said it until Steve huffed a laugh. He could feel his face going red.

“Yeah? Welcome to the club! Not a lot of us Hawkins queers out there, I don’t think.” Steve winked at him and Will’s face burned.

“That’s the first time I’ve ever said it out loud.” Steve’s eyes softened again, he reached out to place a hand on Will’s shoulder. it was warm.

“Well, thank you for telling me. Letting me be the first to know.”

“How’d you, how’d you do it? Come out, I mean.”

“I’m not gonna lie, it was not easy. Sometimes, it really sucked shit, still does when someone wants to get shitty with me. I had good friends that backed me up, though. Just last week Tommy punched Aaron Rodgers in the face for yelling some shit at me.” He laughed. “Not that I’m condoning violence, it just makes all the bullshit a fuck of a lot easier if you’ve got good people that have your back.”

“I want to, I want to tell my mom and Jonathan. I have for awhile now, I’m just, nervous.”

“Well, they’re cool with me, so I know they’re not, like, huge homophobes, but I get it. Coming out to anyone is hard, and its so scary when it’s your family.”

“Did you come out to your family?” Steve took his hand back, gripping the wheel tightly.

“Yeah.”

“How’d it go.”

“It was shit. My dad hasn’t spoken to me in like, six months.” Will blinked. Steve usually seemed so carefree.

“I’m, I’m sorry.”

“It’s not your fault.”

“I know, but I’m still sorry.” He started the car again, continuing on to Will’s house.

“You know, you can always, like, come to me, if you need to talk or something. Between Billy and me, we’ve experienced pretty much everything a queer can experience.” He laughed again, clicking back into plucky, silly Steve.

“Thanks, I, I probably will.” He pulled into Will’s driveway.

“And there’s no rush with your family. It’s okay to keep your cards close to your chest. It doesn’t make you any less valid or mean that you’re like, ashamed of your identity, or whatever. Let it happen in the timing that feels best for you.” He patted Will on the back as he left the car, thanking Steve profusely as he went inside.

#should i do a part 2 #call in and let me know #harringrove #yikes writes #steve harrington #steve harrington x billy hargrove #billy hargrove x steve harrington #billy hargrove #harringrove fic #harringrove drabble #harringrove ficlet #will byers #billy and steve being wills queer mentors is one of the best things in the world ngl #also i know people like to have will have his gay awakening when billy sows up #but like #steve was RIGHT THERE the WHOLE TIME. #you telling me this baby gay WOULDNT look at steve and be like #😳

[shakespeareintellectualbadass]

http://andthenshesaid.co.uk/expertsofourownexperience/queer

Feels weird to advertise a blog on a blog, but I'm writing a series called Experts of Our Own Experience around pieces of my personal experience of life - being neurodivergent, dealing with depression and anxiety and an eating disorder, and most recently, being visibly queer for the first time in my life. I've learned more about myself from hearing others talk about their experiences, and I'm a big believer in learning about experiences other than your own, so whether any of these things apply to you or not, maybe you'll find something connective.

If you're interested, check it out, lmk if you have thoughts ✌

I’ve known I’m not straight since I was seventeen.

I went to all-girls school for fourteen years, from age four to eighteen. All my friends were female until I got to college. For most of my youth I was more consumed by the romantic stories my imagination conjured up, and generally those stories starred princes rather than princesses. I never spent any time overanalyzing it because it never felt wrong, to imagine either but focus more on boys.

And yeah, I’m definitely attracted to men. I obsessed over the boys we met at parties in high school like my friends did. I enjoy flirting with and dating men (most of the time…). I have a longstanding, embarrassingly strong celebrity crush on Jensen Ackles (like full blush, swooping in my stomach listening to him sing or when he winks at the camera). I remember one particular boy who my best friend and I fought over for about an hour at a friend’s quinceañera freshman year (that might be the most heated fight we’ve ever had and we’d only met him at that party, which is ridiculous). I also had really intense female friendships I didn’t think anything of. With the benefit of hindsight, I can see how those friendships with girls I liked and admired - the really earnest ones where I’d go out of my way to do things for them and be around them because I just really want her to want to be my friend - were actually crushes. I’m a people pleaser (with people I care about anyway), but I recognize that higher intensity now that I’ve been through more serious relationships. Definitely bisexual.

It clicked in the autumn of senior year, when I fell for one of my friends from school. We spent a few months pining and then dated for about half a year (though we were both dealing with shitty mental health struggles at the time and were overall not very good for each other) and broke up right before I graduated. All our friends knew we were together, as did my family and probably hers and probably quite a few more people than we knew. What can I say, I’ve never been known for my subtlety, especially when romantic interest is involved.

But right now is the first time I’ve been obviously queer. Visibly, aesthetically queer in how I choose to present myself.

I’ve easily passed for straight all my life. I’ve had long hair and lengthened my eyelashes with coats of mascara, worn low cut tops and tall heels and tight jeans. I’ve flirted with men more than women and leaned into my soft, feminine energy more than my assertive, masculine energy.

But I’ve never had to adjust to being bisexual, to accept that about myself. I never worried about what my parents would think. I know I’m enormously lucky because of that. That said, there’s a difference between coming to terms with being bisexual and being comfortable presenting as queer. My parents are both artists; they both went to college for performance (acting for mum, singing for dad) and are wonderfully open minded and raised me with that same open-mindedness. I don’t think I ever actually came out to them. I could tell they knew about my interest in my high school girlfriend, so I just started talking about it, and that was that. My whole extended family is very accepting, and there are other LGBTQ+ members of the family. One of my cousins is trans and bi; we make a lot of jokes about being the gay cousin (“every family has a gay cousin; if yours doesn’t, you’re the gay cousin” “but if I’m the gay cousin, and you’re the gay cousin, who’s flying the plane?”). My dad’s mom and her partner have been affectionately dubbed The Grandmas for my whole life. Grandma Natalie is as much my grandparent as Grandma Gayle, though we’re not related by blood. I don’t know how many members of my family know I’m queer - I’ve never specifically come out to any of them either - but I don’t worry about it. It’ll become obvious at some point, or I’ll drop it in conversation like I do so often now.

It does vary, how out I am - in high school I was comfortable with it in my personal life, but I never considered joining the LGBTQ+ club - and it’s been different when I’m in a relationship. Both my long term boyfriends were queer/on the bisexuality spectrum, but we presented like a heterosexual couple so never had to worry about coming out. While my high school girlfriend and I weren’t subtle, we also weren’t fully out as a couple. Her family was religious and she was worried about their reaction. On top of that, we were both fairly femme, and in Catholic school the general assumption is that everyone is straight. When I got to college, I only dated men. Part of that was residual fear left over from how badly that high school relationship ended. Part of it was I went to a Catholic university (seriously, how did I spend eighteen years in Catholic institutions when I’ve never been Catholic). A lot of it was compulsive heterosexuality - something queer women fall into a lot because our society is set up with men as the be all and end all (“how could anyone not be attracted to men?” “Of course the ultimate happy ending is settling down with a man...”). A lot of it was how much more I was around men. For the first time, there was a lot of choice, which was an exciting prospect. Even when I wasn’t in a serious relationship, I tended to only focus on men as romantic prospects.

Again, with the benefit of hindsight, I can see how much I’ve been and still am guided by that ingrained need for male attention and validation. It’s also easier to pick up men than women - there’s no is she flirting or is she just friendly to deal with – because men and women are socialized so differently that men don’t usually gush and compliment women they’ve just met in the same way that women do. Maybe it’s just easier to assume men are flirting because of the stereotype that men always want to get laid. Maybe it’s scarier to flirt with women. Maybe both. It’s certainly possible that’s my own projection rather than fact. That said, I did once have a two hour conversation with a lady in a shop during which we effusively complimented each other multiple times, and I have no idea if she was flirting with me or if she was just nice. Girls in bar bathrooms consistently hype each other up without ever exchanging names. It’s wonderful, but it does make things a little foggy when one is trying to flirt with a lady.

Anyway - I was talking about being obviously queer for the first time. It’s odd because I’m very comfortable talking about being bisexual. I bring it up in conversation easily. I post about it for pride. I talk about it a lot on my podcast. I’ve been comfortable with it since I recognized it - I have a wonderfully supportive family, and accepting that part of myself came easily. Presenting it to the world aesthetically is different - more personal, more vulnerable. Even writing about it here, thinking of you reading this, I feel more shy than I would were we face to face. While I didn’t spend any time reassessing my personality when I realized I’m bi, I’m just now recognizing that I do have internalized biphobia and compulsive heterosexuality I need to work through. I think the difference right now is about presentation, that I’ve never felt like I looked bisexual. Which is silly, right? As much as we talk about gaydar and queer trends (bisexuals cuff their jeans, etc), both within the LGBTQ+ community and out, you can’t actually tell anyone’s sexual orientation from their appearance. Queer people just tend to be more adventurous with their self-expression, perhaps because they’ve spent time at one point or another repressing who they are. Perhaps there’s just a joy in exploring something different, that makes you stand out. I don’t know - that’s true for me, though I’m only just starting to experiment myself, and I’m sure it’s different for everyone. I certainly don’t know if I would experiment with my style in the same way if I was straight, having never been straight.

My style has slid less feminine during this year of lockdown. Part of it is that I’m rarely going anywhere, and when I am, I’m walking a lot, so sneakers are a must. I exercise a lot more now, so often when I leave the house, it’s for a workout in a park and I’m dressed in leggings and a sweatshirt. I’ve gravitated toward looser trousers for the last year and a half or so; after years of skinny jeans, I’m obsessed with how comfortable they are. Now that it’s winter, I’m more focused on being warm and comfy than being fashionable. Also, I sort of feel like any moment an apocalypse movie is going to start and I need to be dressed to live in the woods. This added up into a vibe more butch than I’m used to, but with my hair longer than it had been in years, I didn’t really notice.

And then I chopped all my hair off. Like actually all off. A full pixie cut, shorter than I’ve ever gone.

Leading up to it, I guessed I was going to want to lean more into feminine fashion again to balance the cropped cut. I like being feminine and I’m in no hurry to give it up. I planned to pull out my comfy knit pencil skirts and my heeled ankle boots. I expected to forget about my new habit of dressing like I live in the woods. That hasn’t really happened. I’ve still been dressing for comfort, and my style choices have gravitated more toward sweater vests and flare trousers. Both Harry Styles and Phoebe Waller-Bridge in the “Golden” music video. The other day I caught sight of myself in a window and needed a moment to recognize myself: the combination of loose jeans, sweatshirt, raincoat, sneakers, and short hair just didn’t feel like the me I remembered. I looked at myself and didn’t see the femme, straight passing person I’ve looked like for most of my adult life. Let me be clear - I am by no means saying that looking obviously queer is a bad thing. It’s new to me, but I’m rediscovering myself.  I still saw me - and that’s key, that this haircut has always felt like me - but a different me than I’m used to seeing in the mirror.

I have a lot of affection for this new aesthetically masculine and feminine mix, and the other day, stuck in the house at the beginning of lockdown no.3, I felt the urge to dress up a little. I put on lipstick for the first time since May, pulled out a plunge bodysuit and a pair of one-of-a-kind flare jeans I found in a vintage shop on Brick Lane the other week (looser jeans are a masculine leaning I’m embracing wholeheartedly). I decked out my fingers in rings and pulled out my wire-rimmed blue light glasses (my eyesight is so bad that my actual glasses look like something from the wardrobe of a nerd from a 1980s movie, so I stick with contacts). I snapped this photo, just to see the full effect as I no longer have a full-length mirror, and - bam.

I love how I look. I’m obsessed with my hair, with the bright red lines of the bodysuit (and isn’t me in a bright color shocking enough!). I love the jeans, love that they’re a little too big in the waist and just keep flowing out from there, a feminine line in a masculine fabric. I love the wire rim glasses (even if I do look like my dad in the 80s). I love the muscle I can see in my arms from months of pushups and calisthenics. I love how much space I take up, both physically and just in my presence. I am feminine and masculine. I am impossible to miss. Once, even a year ago, that would’ve been stressful. Now, I feel like shouting from the rooftops. This is me.

It’s gone up on Instagram. It’s my new profile picture on various apps. The only caption has been a peace sign emoji - a joke within the LGBTQ+ community about how bisexual people never know what to do with our hands (“point a camera at a bisexual and see how long it takes them to flash a peace sign or finger guns”). It’s a very different vibe from my last profile photo - almost two years ago I smiled at my friend behind the camera from a flowering yellow bush as I watched my last relationship coming to an end.

I keep coming back to how much it is different. This is a change - not of who I am, but of how I reflect it to the world. Proud and excited as I am, and as much as I want to care only for what I think, the fear of rejection lingers. The fear that my friends’ love isn’t malleable and won’t fit this new me anymore. The yearning for the people I love and admire to be proud of me. And on top of that, I wonder how I am different, how my change in appearance reflects an inner shift. How it necessitates it. I’ve always felt the inner shone through to the outer - now that I’m changing the outer, does that come from a shift I’ve already made or is there one still to make? Do I have to act more queer because I look it? What do I feel I need to prove?

Maybe I’ve spoken so much and so easily about my sexuality because I knew it wasn’t visible. Now it’s far more clear, and I feel both more confident and shy. Who is this woman who wears red and casually takes up space? I know her, have seen her in flashes, but this is the first time she is stepping out so boldly. That’s it: I am bold in a way I haven’t felt before. I know, logically, that I have been (again, I’ve never been known for subtlety), but not so consciously. Not with so much intention behind my choice. Some boldness comes so easily I never think of it, but this - this was like bursting out of water for that first breath of air. Natural, intuitive, but not easy.

All this comes in the middle of a period of great change in my life. I’m moving back to my home country after living in London for almost three years, back to my parents’ house after living alone for a year during this pandemic. I’m reconsidering everything I want to spend the next few years doing, much less the rest of my life. I’m trying to figure out how to fund seeing the world and how to organize running a podcast with guests from everywhere I go. I’m consciously focusing on myself and what I want rather than delaying or sacrificing my goals for anybody else. I’m putting off putting down roots for a bit and relying on the knowledge my family is there to come back to. My future see-saws between the safety of family and the unquestionable boldness of adventure.

There is an apprehension that comes with change, an acknowledgment that I am growing and becoming something new, something that is always myself though I did not know it was there. It is freeing and exhilarating and terrifying, growing. Like jumping off a cliff, I have to squeeze my hands into fists and tighten my core and rely on the knowledge that the water below will catch me, that I will catch me, so that I can enjoy the fleeting moment of flying into something new.

#selfpost #experts of our own experience #and then she said #queer #lgbtq+

[wander-the-wandering-weirdo]

The Rumor Come Out: Does Wander is Gay?

((OK, analysing is not really my thing, eps. cause English is not my language, but I’ll type down some stuff for ya, anon. 

There are so many scenes to cosider before coming to such a conclusion, but let’s focus on the most important ones:

We have seen Wander dressing up like a girl many times (like in “The Greatest”, “The Date”, “The Brainstorm” (in Hater’s fantasy), “The Secret Planet” etc.) and he most likely seemed to have fun doing so. I think it’s remarkable that the Blonde Wig Wander who has also appeared in “The Wanders” is considered to be one of Wander’s personalities, which might mean that Wander has a some kind a a female side, too. And I think it’s pretty obvious Wander REALLY likes pink color!..

But he also has been personating male characters, too like in “The Greatest” and “The Good Deed” for instance. And of course, let’s don’t forget his wild appearaces in “The Bad Guy” and “The Boy Wander” and “The Date”. Those appearances are usually followed by a different more quiet but rough voice of him, which is making him sounds more male-ish. 

But now, let’s leave the appearance and proceed to his personality:

Wander, despite his gender, seems to have such a strong instict of maternity, as seen in “The Egg” where he was so protective and affectionate towards the egg, and that moment the egg slipped through Sylvia’s fingers and was falling down, Wander screamed “MY BABY!!!”. That and his behavior towards the baby, Huckleberry Knucklehead in “The Toddler” is the proof of that, but we could aslo consider motherrly his behavior when he was taking care of Westley in “The Little Guy” and baby cat, Lil’ Bit’s from “The Stray”.

In “The Little Guy”, when Westley was layed on the ground and Wander was checking him up to see if he’s okay, he even stroked his eye saying “eye beautiful..” and he was ready to do a CPR to him, that actually looked more like a kiss… However, when Westley stopped him from doing so, Wander stated “I was just havin’ fun, is all!”, which I belive is true. 

In “The Birthday Boy” when Wander thought Hater wanted to play Spin the Bottle, he looked at him with a smug expression on his face saying :Hater, you sassy man! You do wanna get his party started!” and when the bottle pointed to Hater (cause of Sylvia) Wander said “Hater! I was hopin’ you’d win! Now, pucker up, and let’s see that smile!”

I think I don’t even need to mention “The Big Day” where it’s like Wander and Hater are preparing to get married (And that just made me realize Wander and Hater were about to “get married” like three times, in “The Date”, “The Brainstorm”, now “The Big Day”…) Anyway, there’s a bunch of quotes and gay elements in that episode, but I think it’s interesting to point out that Wander wore the bow, and Hater the “dress” as he also appeared in the cermony room as if he was the “bride”, even tho Wander was the one Hater shouldn’t meet eye-to-eye before the cermony… 

So far, you probably think Wander is gay, but if you also remember the episode “The Hero” where Wander first meets princess Demurra, he says enchanted and in admiration “she’s beautifuuulll~” and he was so excited to save a princess, revealing that’s soemthing he always wanted to do.. (Some people could just say he just wanted her dess after all LOL) Despite that, we never actually saw Wander being in love with any girl, and we didn’t CLEARLY see him being in love with anyone in the show..

Oh, did I mention that Wander seemed to be on a date with a girl in “The Date”!?!?

THERE’S ALSO MORE CLUES TO MENTION BUT LIKE I SAID I’M NOT GOING TO ANALYSE THEM ALL EPISDOE-BY-EPISODE

NOW… SOME HEADCANONS:

We can only be suspicious with Wander having a crush on Hater, because I really feel like it’s the most canon ship in the show (after the confirmed ships like Demurra and King Draykor, of course). Cuz it totally makes sense and those two have a lot of moments together. Sorry but, I kinda headcanon this ship..

A theory of mine has to do with “The Brainstorm”, where Lord Hater in one of his imaginations, he gets married to Flendarian princess, only to find out it’s Wander in disguise, and Wander was super happy to be married with him, and he even kissed him on the cheek before hugging him. If we consider that all of Hater’s theories were accurate, since he proved he was right with the “banjo” thing, that means Wander could actually be happy to be married to Hater…? STILL, OF COURSE, both Wander and Sylva seemed to be relieved that they were still single in the end of the episode “The Date”…

I always thought like Wander was disappointed by himself because he didn’t actually manage to make Hater happy. With Dominator, it’s like he found hope again. He thought if he wasn’t the right person to change Hater, then Dominator would be the one! Maybe he could accept some love from her, since he does not accept Wander’s love for him.. Of course, that could never happen..

There’s also another insteresting theory of a friend of mine @thegreatestinthegalaxy, which has to do with Wander and his imaginations of Lord Hater being with Lord Dominator. It states the the entire time Wander was trying to pair those two, he was imagining himself in place of Dominator (cuz they have simular hyperactivity and all) giving him a reason to be so enamored with the idea of making them a couple. He wanted her to live out his dream of being with Hater, and that’s why when he imagines their wedding, Dominator’s look, like, her dress is very Wander-like style, “poofy” and “flow-y” with orange flowers on it! And even the pink lipstick he imagines, is a color Dominator would never use, while Wander loves it and uses it when he wears makeup. BECAUSE WANDER LOVES PINK AND ALL THE STUFF MENTIONED!! All this is just making the scene when Domianator says “Okay, go ahead. Surrender.” and Wander being like “I think you mean, surrender your heart, my studly skull muffin~” while stroking Hater’s chin even cuter and makes more sense! Cuz Wander adores ‘sappy smooshy lovey dovey silliness’~ So, Wander’s mistake is, he does not see what Dominator likes but what he likes. He’s a tea person, and she’s not. He’s in love with Hater, and she definitely isn’t at all!��

Wander realizes it wasn’t meant for Hater and Dominator to be together “And it’s probably best you didn’t wind up together” but he finally sees a light in his relationship with Hater “But you know what I think is great?” I’m talking’ bout buddies~”

ANYONE CAN COME TO THEIR OWN CONCLUSION! The creators didn’t confirm any ships so people can ship whatever they want. My theory is, Wander is NOT gay. He’s a pansexual or at least bi-romantic guy because he’s mostly looking for romance, not paying much attention to the gender.. But he IS gay for HATER!!))

#wander over yonder #woy #save woy #savewoy #wander #wander sexuality analysis #anonymous #ooc #Anonymous #long post #headcanons #thegreatestinthegalaxy #the rumor come out: does........ is gay? #meme

[warmbeebosoftbeebo]

The Slow Unfurling (continuation of the Slow Unraveling)

other parts here

does anyone want me to still do tags? if so:  @greatheromuffinpalace @paypoulterer1 @anyh0w @anobsessioncalled @panicsinning @queerbrendon @prettyoddfiction @iwriteficsnottragediesladies @uriellybrendon @pageoftheclouds @brendonuriesbubblyass @ier0-must-die @itriedallthenamesiwantedaretaken @xfoxtalynx @spacesams00 @satanspuppet-x @1-800-hallelujah @ryrostan @tacobelltylerr @urie-dreams 

just message me to be added or taken off the tag list. i was also thinking of pming people the link to the story instead? any preferences? 

I love writing this and I love our boy! This is the most drawn out I’ve done teasing/flirting/touching in pg-ways with no sex except for in thoughts/dreams in a fic, I think, and I think our reader and our boy may be getting some blue bulbs and blue balls, respectively, that they take care of when they’re not together...

---

B loves coming over for two main reasons: you and Tessie, so he's over the next afternoon after he comes back from Hawaii. Tessie is really big and always excited to see him so she usually knocks him over, assuming he doesn't assume the position first, or is sitting on the couch or leaning against something, licking him as he giggles on his back, giving her pets, pats, smoochies, scritches...

You get distracted by his lips, let's be honest, especially as you get lost in your thoughts as the high hits you, Bad Religion, Lita Ford, X- Ray Spex, Against Me, Manic Street Preachers in the background, punk that gets broken up by Public Enemy, TLC, PJ Harvey, who is pretty punk herself too. You love how into the music he gets, even more than you tend to, although seeing him so gleeful, joyous, even campy and animated at times makes you even happier too, matching his pleasure.

He's darker than you now, and you wonder how much of him is tanned, imagine what your skin would look like on each other's, you laying on him between his thighs, wrapped around each other, kissing him, rocking your mound against his dick and balls... Giggling as you both sing along to Ain't 2 Proud 2 Beg. He purses his lips to take a drag, and you're thinking of them on yours, your skin, between your legs too after your playlist switches to Tori's Raspberry Swirl...

Being high makes him way less anxious too, relaxed. He's still surprised your parents let you smoke pot, in the house and everything, even after you told him they told you about how they used to use it too. You two munch on chips, fruit, chocolate covered almonds. He lays his head in your lap as you rub his belly and he makes whiny puppy noises, both of you bouncing to the Clash's Complete Control. You let Tessie in your room when the smoke clears through the window and switch to a calmer playlist. Suede's The Drowners, but still. The obvious homoeroticism is not lost on either of you, both of you grinning. You have a double bed so she can fit in with you, and you wind up petting his hair, neck, back as he pets a now calm her, her fitting some against his front. "You my lil pup, Bren?" He nods, ruffing, and nuzzles his nose against your thigh.

You think about bringing your plan slash resolution slash feeling the waters out up, but don't want to ruin the moment, Fiona Apple's Never is a Promise adding a lovely sadness to the sweetness. Then grooving to Bowie's Starman, B telling you sometimes he feels like a starman... He joined Ryan, Spence, and Brent in the Summer League, they changed their name to Panic! At the Disco, and he just became their singer. Letting that inner starman come out more, you tell him. “Just wonder if we'll ever get Ziggy Stardust, too?”

-

Your mom and dad get you a peach-kiwi-berry and cream pie for your birthday a couple days later—you've always preferred pie to cake—and your first cell phone for your 17th birthday, so you call B on it, inviting him over for leftover pie before you go to the punk house show. He brings over some presents from Hawaii: a couple leis, matching Hawaiian shirts for you and him, seashells, an alcohol he has to tell you how to pronounce a couple times, a book about Hawaiian goddesses, as well as an old guitar of his and sheet music for Tori Amos. And some dank weed. You are such a pothead now. You played guitar in class at your old school last year, played his at his place too, “now you've got one for your own.” All happy and nervous. You can tell he likes treating people, and he tells you that he loves doing this for his friends. You want to treat him back, but don't want to wait until his birthday all the way in April.

You sneak out to drink a couple times—no longer complaining of your love for fruity ones after you tease him back about the Capri Sun and other fruit juices he loves—him drinking it too. You mosh with him before you have to beg off because some guys use it as an excuse to be dickheads, too aggressive. He gets a couple pot brownies from Eric, and you sit with some friends like him, Amanda, Leah who are there too, eating them, drinking, chatting, getting into the music, or some combination thereof. Luckily there's a taco place a block away that's open late, so you two toddle over, tipsy, but not full on inebriated, him less so—“so I can be a good host.” You order a huge burrito with sweet potato, pico de gallo, avocado, black bean, peppers, rice... Doing that Austin Powers Scottish “Get in my belly!” line. Telling him he should eat his veggies too, dammit. He would look even cuter if he managed to gain some weight, the little bean. You nudge some of your burrito at him too as he eats his tacos. You both need it, even if he's the only one who needs more meat on his bones.

You spill some on the Hawaiian shirt and he immediately reaches over, wiping if of your breast.  “Uh... sorry...” he pulls his hand away but you smile, tell him it's ok. Then giggling, you pat his breast too, saying that's how ok it is. Then smooch him on the cheek, before plowing that burrito down, only breaking to grin and look at him. You make it back a couple songs into the next group, but the last one's the best, you and B dancing at the edge of the crowd. You want to kiss him so bad, thanking him over and over, so you do: a peck on the lips. “You're the best, B.” You nuzzle noses with him, hugging him close, swaying, feeling so warm and happy and buzzed, aware your crotch is lightly on his thigh, but you don't pull away. Kind of in love too. You pull him to a loveseat for more cuddles, touching his hands, arms, hair, face, smooching over his forehead, cheeks, nose too—“cutest face ever, B”—back, thigh, petting, massaging, asking a couple times if it's ok, saying he can do it back. He does, more cautious than you are, probably more worried than he often is because you're still tipsy. Fuck, you want to... fuck him every which way into next week,

Walking to the bus stop, you keep touching him, holding hands, brushing shoulders, thighs, hips. You're glad your parents are open-minded, because “Wanna sleepover, B?” They thought he was gay before you told them he was bi, but they'd still be cool with him staying over, even in your bed.

Since you were sixteen, they told you you could have boys over, as long as you were careful, that your mom could take you to the sexual health clinic, that you could have fun in ways that you didn't have to worry about getting pregnant. That they didn't want to tell you you should do things, but they didn't want you hiding things. The few people who knew how they were were surprised you didn't take more advantage, with boys, sex, booze, drugs... You've not done drugs other than pot and booze, not even cigarettes, and there's only been two other boys, one good, one... not, and mostly clothed fooling around. Seems like kids with strict or completely checked out parents were the ones who chased those things, or fell into it.

They knew about those two other boys but not much detail, hell they already knew about you masturbating since you were a baby, and you've told them about crushing on B too, being all touchy with him, leaving out how turned on he got you, the dreams and fantasies... They told you about oral and manual stuff just in general terms, and you made out, grinded with Jax, came with him, wished you two were less shy so you felt free to continue with him, but B told you about outercourse, rubbing on each other, all these different ways, and in more detail...

You just wear shorts and a sportsbra to bed, and he wears shorts of yours and a tshirt. You want to say you'd be down for sleeping naked, but don't want to weird him out, or make him worry about you being too drunk/high to know what you're saying. You're just buzzed now; you know what you'd be saying, and are clearheaded enough to want it, like you'd want to say and do it completely sober too. You do ask him for cuddles and hair pets though, and he grins, nodding, so you gladly oblige on each other, humming and singing songs to each other to get the other to guess what it is.

You, cackling, wake him up with a slap on the ass after 10 because he's on his belly, sheet around his legs. “Couldn't help it, B. Dat ass.” He blushes, and you grin. “I could smooch it better?” He cocks his eyebrow, flushing, but smiling, a soft “you want to?”, so you kiss his lower back first, then the soft skin where your shirt is riding up on him. Then his clothed butt. It's so silly it doesn't seem like a wtf moment or like it's giving anything away.

He strips off, except for his boxer briefs, and grabs his clothes, saying he should've been home already, for family time. “At least I brought you breakfast,” you say, holding out the last of the pie. You feed it to him as you wait for the bus with him. As you see it approach, you kiss him closemouthed on the lips again, hold his hand, thank him for a lovely birthday. “Must be the best birthday ever, Bren, thanks to you.” He gets up and you hug him close. “Best boy ever, B,” you whisper in his ear, hands circling from his back to his ass. “That ok?”  

“More than ok...”

Damn, you love all of him, including his booty. “Lovely all over. Butt, too” makes him blush even more than he already is, even grinnier than you.

“Th-thanks. Y-oh, God—you're great too. I mean, the best birthday girl. Uh...” Neither of you have time to finish, because the bus stops, and you tell him not to miss it so he doesn't get in more trouble.

-

When you're back in class the next day you talk each other's ears off about visiting his family, how everything and everyone in Hawaii is beautiful in their own ways, you wishing you got to see it too, saying you've only been to Scotland and England, also because of family, with their oceansides and hilly farms and castles. He's got a lot of Scot in him too. Chatting until Ms Eliot glares at you two for at least a second time, clearing her throat loudly.

You keep touching him even more than before, matching your birthday celebrations: his hair, imagining flowers in it, his almost brown now skin, thinking he'd get Hawaiian flowers if he got any tattoos like he sometimes talked about. Picturing him naked even, swimming, or covered in flowers, or only in a grass skirt, or the cloth skirts both sexes wore. Or kissing that couple he got a crush on in a matter of hours... Clearly, that beauty rubbed off on him too, making him even more gorgeous. Hand on his thigh, hip, even. When he smiles, remembering the lushness and from your touches, you melt. He promises you pictures soon, saying he first panicked because he thought he lost the camera (it was in his mom's things), then forgot to get them developed, then they couldn't do it over the weekend. He wanted to show them to you and tell you about it at the same time because he can't really do it justice, but couldn't hold off anymore.

You grab onto his hand, nudge your shoulder into him as you're walking in the halls. You sit next to him during lunch, thighs and arms touching, pressing. After, you play with his hair and he just melts into it as you sit in the grass after. He touches back, your back, arm, nuzzles into your hugs and lap. Let's out little moans as you play with the nape of his neck, scalp... You find the small of his back, and he likes there too, even able to feel those Venus dimples he has too, fingertips daring over that strip of bare skin, wanting to go lower... so you do, hand resting on his ass, thumb stroking, sometimes patting to a beat. Watching his blissed out face, lush lips. It's turning you on, quite a lot, thinking about some of the things you could get up to, but you don't stop.

People have assumed that you're either a) boyfriend-girlfriend or b) a gay and his fag hag for a while now, even a couple brother-sister assumptions, but this may be upping it a level.

#brendon urie fanfiction #brendon urie smut #brendon urie imagine #brendon urie fic #the slow unraveling #teasing #so much touching #slow burn

[bisluthq]

i really hope your realistic kaylor timeline gets other shippers thinking. when it comes to larry and camren, this is based on info a friend who “knew stuff” gave, bc she knew 1d boys and people who knew fifth harmony. i think larry had a fwb/casual relationship situation, that obv ended. louis being either gay, or bi with a preference for men, harry just overall open to whoever if the connection is there. with camren i think lauren realised she liked women bc of her crush on camila, realised its a hopeless crush on a straight girl, then got with her friend lucy who wasn’t straight. both groups of shippers flip when i mention this possible theory to them, but it seems the most realistic to me. i think once you’re fixated on a ship, they’re going to live happily ever after in your head. that’s why kaylors/larries/camrens think their ship has been together 6+ years, maybe even married.

So overall yeah see one of the things that really bothers me is slash ships are described SO STUPIDLY that everyone laughs. Like the way people talk about them is so fucking moronic and silly that it becomes a conspiracy theory and like.... essentially impossible. Like an anon was once like “what would you do if TTB Kaylors were right all along” and I said “I’d have to reasses everything I believe about reality”.

And it’s very frustrating to me because babies YOU ARE FUCKING THIS UP FOR US. Like don’t go on about how people don’t take you seriously because they’re homophobes when you’re LITERALLY TALKING NONSENSE.

It’s not impossible for people of the same gender to have fucked.

Ever.

But you need to make it make sense and be realistic, surely?

Also please tell me more about gay Louis intel and why is he so fixated on Eleanor if that’s the case??? What happened with Briana if he’s gay? Is he just... in Narnia? Why!??? Come back anon and please please tell me more stuff like how/when your friend knows/knew them (off anon ideally).

But re Camren I’m 10000% there with you because it FITS WHAT LAUREN HAS SAID WITH HER OWN WORDS.

She’s said it was weird and she felt awful about it and it made coming out much harder.

I wanna know more about this realistic Larry with intel vibe tho.

#nat talks the konspiracy

[anarcoqueer1994]

Friendly Neighbor Spiderma(e)n

Okay I have been working crazy overtime so I haVe been MIA but I did this little dabble based on an idea from @kippens-a-goodman. Its rough but I needed to write something that wasn't work related. Hope yall like it.

Also small content warning for homophobic language.

"Cy, we have to…"

"You are going to get in trouble. Or what if one of those crazy bigots hurt you?" Cyrus replies as he sits in the front seat of his boyfriend's jeep, ignoring the protests from Marty and Jonah in the back.

They were pulled over in a parking lot a few blocks from the street preacher and his few dozen crazy followers who earlier today screamed at Cyrus as he walked by sporting a small rainbow pin on his sweater. It was right on Mainstreet. He isn't even quite sure why the preacher was looking at him enough to notice. But he did and the words that left his mouth were horrid and soul crushing.

God will punish faggots.

Repent before it's too late.

You will burn.

Cyrus didn't respond. He was alone and afraid to interact. He couldn't believe people still believed this stuff in 2019. So he just walked by and didn't stop walking until he got to his house. 

He wanted to call Andi and Buffy to tell them what happened but didn't.  He knew that they were with Amber and Libby doing some spa weekend and he didn't want to ruin that for them. But he wanted to tell someone. He didn't want to tell TJ because he knew for sure his boyfriend would overreact and get himself in trouble. Marty was really only his friend because of mutual friends, so calling him was not really an option. That led him to calling Jonah and venting to him. Jonah listened and Cyrus ended up feeling a little better. 

That was until an hour later when he heard a familiar honk from outside his house. He peeked his head out the window to see TJ's jeep parked in front. The blonde jock looked like he was hiding anger underneath a fake smile. Marty and Jonah were sitting in the back. All three boys were wearing Spiderman costumes sans the masks that he could see sitting next to them on the seats. There was also a bag in between the boys in the back. They all sported pride pins on the front of their suits. TJ yelled out to him, "Well, come on. Get in, Underdog."

And that's how they ended up here in the parking lot of a hardware store a few blocks from the bigots. Jonah had not gotten the part about not telling TJ. So when he told him, TJ had a plan. They had gotten these Spiderman suits a few months ago for a Costco prank that ended up going terribly wrong. Now TJ wanted them to use them to get some payback.

They were going to go silly string the preacher and his cringy supporters dressed as your friendly neighborhood Spidermen. Cyrus though was terrified of something bad happening to people he cares about all for his sake. He looks around, first at TJ and then at his friends in the back before saying. "Guys, I'm fine. Please don't do all of this for me.

"Cyrus…" TJ said softly. Turning to face the brunette in the passenger seat. "I don't think I can just sit by and do nothing when that homophobic...asshole... had the nerve to say those things to you. I love you so much Cy…" He places his hand on Cyrus' cheek.

"We are your friends, Cy-guy." Jonah adds from the backseat. 

"Yea, plus if it happened to you, it could happen to any other LGBT person in town."Marty says.

Cyrus whispers "That's why I'm worried. People know you and Teej are trans. Plus he's gay…" He motions to his blonde basket player. "And Jonah, your bi. People have seen you and Reed together. This is not a safe situation for any of you." Cyrus' voice is riddled with anxiety. 

"Underdog, thank you for being worried...but we are doing this. We got masks and we will get out there if it gets bad. I promise. Now I got one more Spiderman suit if you wanna come." TJ offers.

Cyrus looks away, out the window and doesn't say anything. He terrified to face those people. TJ lets out a small sigh "Okay then. Stay here. We will be back, sweetie."

Cyrus hears the door open and and then shut. After a few moments he looks over to see the dumbass trio,now masked, walking away from the car, silly string in hand. He knows their destination is a few blocks over where that hateful man is "preaching."

Cyrus looks back down. He feels like such a coward. He felt so scared when he had been shouted at and harrassed. Yea the guy wasn't violent, but he could of been. Or his dozen or so supporters. Violence against queer folks is not uncommon and lately people seem to have become more open with their hateful opinions. That's why he didn't want his friends to go. But they did.

And he didn't. He just let them go and wasn't even brave enough to come with. Suddenly any fear he had was overtaken with guilt. He loved TJ so much and he should be there supporting him. So after 5 minutes, he gets out of the car and rushes towards Mainstreet. 

When he gets there, it takes him a moment to absorb the chaos that was unfolding. TJ, Marty, and Jonah were running around wildly spraying the preacher and the rest of the bigots with a seemingly endless supply of silly string. He can tell which one is TJ, he is the tallest. Crowds of people gathered around to witness the events.

Suddenly his heart drops. The preacher seems to be coming right up to TJ, screaming, undeterred from the silly string. Cyrus can make out bits of what he is saying. 

"Are you one of those faggots?" Do you want to go to hell? That is where you are going?" The bigoted old man screamed, holding the Bible up as some kind of sheild.

Cyrus keeps his eyes fixated on TJ. He can tell by the sudden stiffness of his movements, the man's terrible words get to him even if he couldn't see his face under the mask. He talks a big game, but he knows how insecure TJ could be.This causes Cyrus' blood to feel like it is about to boil over. Nobody gets to make the love of his life feel that bad. It clicks to him why TJ was so adamant about doing this today. He really loves Cyrus.

So he confidently (well as confidently as he can) pushes through the crowd of onlookers and walks towards the man and TJ. TJ has his back to him so he doesn't see him coming. Cyrus puts on his best Mary Jane Watson attitude and calls out to TJ. "Hey Tiger." He grins.

TJ turns around at the sound of the familiar face. Now it feels like no one else is around them. Cyrus closes the gap and let's TJ rest his arms around his waist. He whispers to the shorter boy. "You came...you are not even covering your face." The preacher makes a fake gagging sound from behind them as the other two boys continue to cause chaos around them. 

"Don't  need to, as long as I have my friendly neighborhood Spiderman to protect  me." With that, he does something bold. He rolls up the bottom of TJ's mask revealing his mouth. He gently places both hands on either side TJ's face before leaning in for a soft kiss, that is promptly returned.

As they kiss, they hear the preacher and his followers making hateful comments but they are soon covered up by the cheers of the larger crowd of supporters. 

After a few moments, they break apart at the sound of Marty's voice saying "Let's go!" They must have finally run out of the string. So TJ grabs Cyrus' hand and pulls him after their friends, all laughing the entire run back to the car. 

Once they were safely back in TJ's car, they demask. TJ smiles "I'm so proud of you Cy…"

"Right back at you, Tiger." Cyrus decides Mary Jane is on to something with Tiger because he likes using the nickname, especially since it is causing his boyfriend to blush like crazy.

The next day, they meet up with Amber, Libby, Andi, and Buffy at the Spoon to catch up after the girls' spa day. When they get there though the girls are all quiet, like they were dying to ask something. 

Cyrus finally breaks the silence. "What is with you guys?

Buffy smirks and pulls a folded up newspaper out of her bag. She sets it on the table. "Care to explain?"

It was from this morning and plastered on the front was a large black and white picture of Cyrus and TJ kissing (though the top part of TJ's mask is covering most his face) surrounded by angry protesters and excited supporters a like. In the background you see Jonah and Marty in their suits spraying the protesters. The headline reads "Friendly Neighborhood  Spiderman(s)takes Down a Bigot."

A smile stretched across all their faces. TJ says "Its a long story." As he intertwined his fingers with Cyrus'.

#andi mack #tyrus #dumbass trio #Jeed mention bc Im a problem #tj trans #marty trans #tj kippen #cyrus goodman #Marty from the party #jonah beck

[edwardslostalchemy]

hello i have returned!! once again with two prompts because i am indecisive ghsjfs, 15 and/or 16!!

alfjalf and I am here to deliver them for you!!!

15.  Trembling Hands

Perhaps he had come at a bad time, but Shouto couldn’t turn back. Izuku was shaking, on the edge of a panic attack, and Shouto didn’t know what to do to calm him down. Fat tears rolled down Izuku’s soft cheeks, the moisture making his freckles sparkle like dew drops on wet morning grass. Izuku didn’t want to talk and Shouto figured if he spoke, he’d let out a sob, but he didn’t think there was anything wrong with that. 

Izuku’s hands trembled as he wrung his fingers around his wrists in an attempt to distract himself, but Shouto couldn’t stand watching him be this upset. Whatever caused him to get this emotional would meet Shouto’s unforgiving wrath. 

Raising his left hand, he brushed Izuku’s tears away with his thumb and cupped his cheek gently. 

“It’s going to be alright,” he said, looking into Izuku’s wide, glazed eyes. Shouto couldn’t stand seeing him in pain. 

To Izuku’s credit, he nodded and tried to calm down by closing his eyes and taking in a shaky breath. It wasn’t working and Shouto couldn’t blame him. He’d had his own fair share of panic attacks and he knew it wasn’t easy to relax. 

Shouto let go of Izuku’s cheek and took his trembling hands in his to help steady him. “You’re going to be okay...I am here for you,” he said before bringing Izuku’s hands toward his lips to place kisses on his scar-ridden knuckles. 

Izuku nodded, but his breathing quickened and he tightened his hold on Shouto’s hands. “Thank you...” he huffed out, leaning against his chest to cry on his shoulder. 

Shouto took him in his arms to hold him, rubbing his back gently and using his left side to provide reassuring warmth for his boyfriend. He needed him even if he wasn’t saying anything at the moment. He’d definitely come at a good time. 

16.  In Dreams

Izuku hadn’t had much experience when it came to crushes, but he couldn’t ignore the obvious signs that were present when he was around Todoroki. At first, he brushed it off and thought it was just him caring about his friend because they were getting closer with each passing week. However, he couldn’t deny how flustered he’d feel when the other boy did something that Izuku deemed cute. Like when he ran his hand through his bi-colored hair or when he was thoughtful about something while they talked. Or when he got excited about a hero. Or when he smiled. 

It took Izuku some time to realize he was a goner. What finally convinced him that he was head-over-heels for Todoroki was a dream. He wasn’t one to believe in dreams as a way to solidify his feelings for something, but he knew that if he dreamed about something, it was subconsciously meaningful to him. In dreams, it was as if his problems had a clear solution, no matter how silly there could be. 

So when he dreamed one night that Todoroki kissed him, it took Izuku some time to recover after waking up. It was such a vivid dream...Todoroki had pulled him aside to talk to him and when there was a lull in the conversation, Todoroki looked into his eyes before he leaned forward and kissed him, his left hand settling in Izuku’s messy curls to pull him impossibly closer. Izuku was confused at the action, but gave in, nonetheless and kissed him back. 

The entire day was full of Izuku reacting to Todoroki in a not-so-subtle way, making a point to avoid him without seeming rude. That’s what he got for becoming close friends with his crush. And really he should have expected for Todoroki to ask if he was feeling okay because he pointed out that Izuku’s face had been flushed all day and he was concerned he had a fever. He even offered to take him to Recovery Girl for medical attention.

Todoroki could be so oblivious, but maybe Izuku was lucky he couldn’t tell he wanted to kiss him all day. 

---

I got inspired by one of your little fics, but it’s not exactly the same alfajflak. Also the second one can count as a continuation to this little fic I did a couple of days ago, but it can be read independently nonetheless. So the first one is sad, but the second one is pining Izuku being a gay disaster. Talk about emotional whiplash of the good kind... I hope you enjoy!!

#tododeku #tododeku fanfiction #alartesdraws #asks #fran writes #i hope these are okay!!! #the panic attack is so real for me though like can relate #i wish i had someone to kiss my hands when im about to break down #also i dream about kissing people so YEAH that is so real can confirm that i am a bi disaster like izuku #alartes-draws