#because you don't bother to actually educate yourself on that issue as well

[snovyda]

Popular activist post: you can't stay neutral when there's a genocide!!! Shame on all of you!!

The OP of that very post in their other posts: *low-key or high-key supports russian invasion of Ukraine and open genocidal speech about Ukrainians*

🤡🤡🤡

#i am tired of y'all's hypocrisy and ignorance parading as activism #guess what: your performative activism won't help the cause you claim to support either #because you don't bother to actually educate yourself on that issue as well #but you think it makes you look righteous

[friendlymathematician]

Genuine question: How do you overcome the feeling/idea that you're inherently bad at STEM because you're a woman?

OK so i grew up with an older brother (older by 1 year) and my mom always pushed him to do better at maths & physics especially because he showed interest in computer science, when it came to me she'd always say "oh dont bother with that, your brother is better at that stuff" " that stuff is too hard just pick something easy"... even though i got better grades than him, and she always encouraged him to perform better in school because she 100% believed he could amount to smth great, whereas she'd just say "well this is just what you're capable of" whnever i got a bad grade. She literally would say "you just don't have the brains for it"

I don't resent my brother, he always pushed me to do better and get better grades, he encouraged me to pick the hardest like "field" during high school. My dad would always nurture my love of physics and science in general, and he would say "i dont want you to be limited, just work hard".

But the way my mom treated me still affected me i think, sometimes i find myself still genuinely believing men are better than me just because theyre men.

I figured you could give some advice since youre in STEM yourself ?

oh, this is difficult. i have similar stories, although a different family dynamic. in my case, i was told (by my mother) that i was only good at things because i worked hard, while my brother was simply naturally good at them. now, you could argue this is a good thing (growth mindset and so on), but there are two issues that arise. first, most stem fields have some level of a genius cult. being effortlessly good at them is what you're supposed to do, while working hard is not enough unless you have the genius too. this is especially pronounced in maths/physics/computer science. second, the "you're only good at it because you work hard" hits very different when you're not actually working hard.

i think it can be partly ameliorated by surrounding yourself with women (take classes with female instructors, look for active "women in x" groups and activities, make an effort to be friends with other women who also like stem). another thing that helps is to be able to point at actual accomplishments when the doubt creeps in. these can be either from your education (yes, you did do really well in that analysis class) or informal accomplishments (from working with your field as a hobby).

i do think a lot of the advantage males have in stem classes is that they're encouraged to obtain these informal accomplishments already as teenagers, which both give them some knowledge and experience you can't get from formal instruction and give them personal "wins" to point to when things get difficult. so pick up amateur radio, or try your hand at building an app, or solve project euler problems, or see how many different kinds of frog species you can find. there's this pop-psych idea that you build confidence in the abstract and then accomplishments follow, but i'm entirely convinced it's the other way around. confidence comes from doing things. spending 20 hours trying to figure out how to set up a pi-hole in your apartment (even if 18 of those hours are spent doing it wrong) builds a lot more confidence in your abilities with computers than spending 20 hours trying to convince yourself that you're just as capable as a man.

anyone else want to chime in with tips for anon?

[northwest-cryptid]

the problem i think with ai isn't that its good as a tool, its that the "tool" suddenly became replace jobs that society already views as worthless. Authors and artists already have to fight for pay worth the time and effort they put in (the recent wga and sag-aftra strikes) and ai tech bros coming in basically saying "you don't need them just use this handy tool that stelas their work without paying them or acknowledging their work in any way."

again not saying doesnt have a place, just that i wouldn't be surprised that a lot of people are going to get angry about anything that can be seen as defending it rn

The problem I have with people isn't their anger towards it; trust me I understand that anger. However my issue is that they don't bother to understand what AI really is. They want to talk like they do, they come out here saying statements that are simply inherently false and it gets passed around as truth.

The biggest reason I believe is because it's comforting to "know" that AI isn't capable of doing convincing work then they don't need to worry about it. If they believe they can identify it they believe they can avoid it.

A big issue I have is when AI is used to generate images that get pushed on basically "news" websites that generate; for lack of a better term, actual fake news. Which yea I know the term "fake news" is unfortunately associated with a certain someone.

However ESPECIALLY during a time like this I really want people to be educated on just what AI CAN and cannot do. But specifically what it CAN do. Like I always hear people go off about "AI can't do hands, if they have more than 5 fingers it's a clear give away!" That USED to be true, but as AI constantly advances that's just not the case anymore.

Even the most casual user will have access to plugins like OpenPose which can work with something like ControlNet to create some images most people likely wouldn't identify as AI at first glance.

OpenPose is actually really cool on a technical level as it's able to identify everything from body positioning to even facial and hand recognition:

However this, like anything; can be used for bad/wrong reasons as well as it can be used for harmless/good/fun reasons.

I totally understand what you're saying, I just think that if people are so against AI they need to take the time to stop throwing elementary school level insults at the people who are offering to teach them what they need to look out for; and actually try to pay attention so they can identify AI.

If you're scared of it, and you don't want bad people to get away with using it in bad ways; then PLEASE do yourself, and everyone else a favor and actually take the time to understand it.

A lot of the words being thrown around are really vague, the reblog that sparked a lot of this kinda "got me" because of it's wording. People just believe this without thinking about it:

I'm leaving the username out because I don't want to in any way seemingly "attack" the person, I just want to talk about what they're saying here.

"[so much] Overwatch content is just porn" sure, I have actually done adult animation to pay the bills before and I know just how popular OW is in that market. So I assume there's a lot of drawn porn as well as animated. However, let's take a quick second and think about this... You really think the MAJORITY of that porn is about dicks? Let's be real, if it's going to generate any form of NSFW anything from association of OW with Porn it's likely going to be boobs. Yet we don't see that, we also don't see that sort of anatomy being used for the two characters shown in the image. That just doesn't add up.

Likewise "The AI" which AI? There's a ton, and depending on the model/checkpoint and various lora they're using the weights can change a LOT. But let's assume they mean some website's AI, which as far as I'm aware are not some hivemind so they don't all have the same training; but let's just assume they mean NovelAI as that seems to be a popular one. So we have "The AI" that learns from "The Internet" again that's just... not how that goes. That's like saying you found an image "on Google" a lot of AI will use specific websites; that's how it knows "what" is in the image, those key words have to come from somewhere, so websites that specifically use a tagging system are great for AI to learn off because otherwise you have to manually teach it what each image represents.

As a quick note I do not in any way shape or form condone the actions of training an AI on material that you did not create, be it photography/art/whatever. If you don't have the permission to use it, then the acquisition of it and the training using it as material; is inherently unethical and yes, stealing.

Okay so back to what I was saying; just like how the porn they're talking about is typically congregated to specific websites; "The AI" also uses specific websites for their training, and I will be the first to admit that since I don't know which AI we're discussing I don't know which "internet" it's trained with. However I know that NovelAI uses a lot of "Booru" websites; likely because of their tagging system. I know this because if you use StableDiffusion (which is the most commonly available free AI on "the market") from way back in the day, prior to the much more streamlined 1.5 system, you'd find that the main training file being passed around for NovelAI specifically mentioned "Booru" in it's titling system, at least for the generation of anime imagery.

So while I do not know exactly what websites were used here, these statements are just egregiously vague. "The AI" learns from "The Internet" where "The porn" is. Okay that last part is kind of a joke because we do actually know roughly what "the porn" in question is. But even then, we really don't. We're just grouping all OW porn into "you know there's porn on the internet?! AND THE AI LEARNS FROM IT!" Which is a statement a lot of people, who don't really understand all of this; can latch onto and believe. I mean it makes sense, and the thing is it's TECHNICALLY true! However that's sort of like saying "I got Groceries from The Store, where you know; the food is." Alright are we talking Walmart? Whole Foods? What Groceries did you get?!

Now the way AI is trained also drastically can change results, in the comment they say the AI thinks that because the AI sees a lot of porn when looking up OW that it thinks a Penis is normal for OW and associates the two. That sort of "association based learning" isn't really how that works though, at least not commonly. I really do not believe that this was the case for a lot of reasons, ranging from the fact that the object positioning tells me the prompts given and even the overall image don't depict that section as being organic; so it's unlikely it would think to make a dick there. However let's say it was trying to make a dildo, even though again it's uncommon that there'd be enough dildo art specifically of OW that it would somehow learn that the "OW" tag should generate a dildo. It would technically be possible but not very plausible.

See if I'm trying to train an AI to identify "a man with red hair" I would use a system of target and control. Basically the defining thing here is "red hair" but not necessarily "a man" right? So I want my AI to know what "a man" looks like, but more specifically I want it to understand that the outlier has "red hair" this way when I tell the AI I need an image where a person has red hair, it understands what red hair "looks like" if this makes any sense. The typical ratio I've seen used is a 1 to 10 ratio. Meaning for every 1 image of a man with red hair that I identify to the AI as "a man with red hair" I need to include 10 images of "a man" and those images should not contain red hair. Now if we assume that it can scan hundreds of images without user input there's literally nothing stopping that ratio from being 1 to 100 or even 1 to 1000 which would mean that my AI has a REALLY good understanding of what "red hair" is, or more specifically, what a man without red hair looks like; therefore it's not likely to create red hair unless I tell it to.

Why does that matter? Because here's the thing, even if the AI did just generally scan a bunch of images of "Overwatch" it's going to identify common outliers, like how any image containing NSFW material is going to have that material in the tags. So let's say the AI has identified 100 images of OW art, and in let's say 25 - 50 of those images there is a dildo / penis specifically. Well it's going to identify the tag of Dildo/Penis and if I do not include that word specifically in my prompt it will understand (more often than not) that I'm looking to create a generation that does not include that material, but pulls from the other listed traits it finds in OW art. By that same logic however we should also see generic sexualized anatomy, we should see boobs as well as dildos, and yet; generally speaking we kinda don't, so I REALLY don't think that's the case here.

And yet people believe that comment on a whim, maybe they believe the source poster to be a credible individual; I haven't heard of them myself so I don't know if maybe they're some authority figure. If they are I would love for them to, you know; back up the claims with actual less vague information.

Yes, I do mean that; because if they could tell me which AI, if they could tell me what websites it specifically is trained on; then we have that information. Information makes us a lot more aware of how AI is progressing and how we can identify it even when people put effort into hiding that something may be AI. It widens our arsenal against AI and I think that's a lot more important than simply saying "AI stupid AI bad!"

So much about this is just "off" and I'm genuinely saddened by the general response that flooded my inbox, and let this be known;

I'm not saddened by the words people sling my way, I have heard worse. I fucked up a lot in my past, I did a lot of things I regret; and I've heard it all. I've been getting death threats since I was 16, I have had people deadname me trying to get some kind of reaction from me. Trust me when I say that elementary school kid shit doesn't hurt even my insanely thin skin.

No, I'm sad because people don't care as much as they claim to when it comes to this sort of thing. They don't actually care about staying safe from misinformation that could potentially spread from AI. They don't care about actually putting some kind of end, if such a thing is possible; to art theft due to AI. They don't care about educating themselves about AI. They just see the two letters and immediately go into a blind rage, throwing whatever petty insults they can and likely blocking me before they'll ever see my response.

It feels hopeless, it feels like a lost cause. Why should I bother to educate people, why should I bother to care?

And okay, listen to me here please, I know I've said a lot and I don't care if you want to skip over everything else in this post but PLEASE I am actually begging you to read this and understand this next part, I know we're the "how dare you say we piss on the poor" website but PLEASE.

I am an artist, I understand why people look down on AI. However, you're never NEVER going to convince a tech bro, or anyone going down the wrong path; that you are in the right when you throw petty insults at them.

I know you think people can't be convinced to begin with, but I want you to understand something, I used to be a horrible person and had it not been for a very good friend of mine telling me not to listen to the anons telling me to kill myself, telling me I'm a waste of oxygen, or that I didn't deserve to be born; if it hadn't been for this one person telling me that those people are assholes but that I DID screw up.

I'd have never given it a second thought, because who is going to give you the time of day when everyone on the other side says "yea they're all just going to yell at you and hate on you and shit." Who's going to think you're right, when you literally only prove the wrong people to be correct?!

If we sling insults and throw a fit over anyone ever doing something we're not happy with, instead of attempting a civil conversation on the matter; no not a debate, a CONVERSATION. Talking, not arguing, not debating, not manipulating or some shit. Just TALKING.

If we don't do that, we're never going to actually see change, because all it's going to do is make those tech bros look like they know you inside and out already, and it's going to convince some poor individual, maybe a child; who picked up AI because they were curious; that yea you're just an asshole and they shouldn't listen to you and what you have to say.

Thanks for coming to my TED talk, and thank you to the Anon who sent this for being chill, you're a real one.

[destinyc1020]

Obviously fame changes you and can have a negative effect to some people. But we also have to remind ourselves we dont know these people. These are actors when they are doing promo or doing interviews they are also creating a persona, a character, the perception that timmy is this ultra sensitive deep thinker is a part of persona he partially created. I think what people are realizing is that celebs care more about protecting their wealth and reputation, than about having a political stance or to have the political consciousness to educate themsleves. I think people are starting to break out from these long held perceptions and pedestals they have given to celebs.

Obviously fame changes you and can have a negative effect to some people. But we also have to remind ourselves we dont know these people. These are actors when they are doing promo or doing interviews they are also creating a persona, a character, the perception that timmy is this ultra sensitive deep thinker is a part of persona he partially created.

Exactly. 💯 We don't know these people personally, and I think sometimes fans forget that.

I think what people are realizing is that celebs care more about protecting their wealth and reputation, than about having a political stance or to have the political consciousness to educate themsleves. I think people are starting to break out from these long held perceptions and pedestals they have given to celebs.

Well, I'll just be honest... I'd rather a celebrity actually remain SILENT on political/controversial topics if they don't feel educated enough about posting about it. 🤷🏾‍♀️

I'm probably in the minority in feeling this way, but I'd rather my fave not say ANYTHING about it, than to speak up and say something that's totally FALSE, demeaning, or offensive to a wide group of people. 👀

There's a famous saying that goes something like this: "Better to keep quiet and have people think you're a fool, than to open your mouth and prove them right" 😅

If celebrities don't speak publicly on their social media about certain topics, it honestly doesn't bother me too much.

I think it's also important to keep in mind too that just because someone is silent on an issue publicly, it does NOT mean that they don't have an opinion, or don't feel hurt by what it is going on in the world. Social media is NOT EVERYTHING! And personally? People don't need their favorite celebrities posting about every news/political event in order to be educated about the topic. You can go and read the news online and research articles on the topic yourself. You don't need celebrities to speak or preach about it on their social media. IF people want to do so and they're promoting peace and are educated on the matter, then I don't mind. But I'm not out here BEGGING my faves to speak up on political topics cuz to me that's not my place, and imo nobody should be FORCED to speak out about anything if they don't want to.🤷🏾‍♀️

I totally understand your point about Timmy though. The joke was just in bad taste (for several reasons) point blank, period. But humor has ALWAYS danced a fine line btwn funny/tongue-in-cheek/and just downright offensive to groups of people. It's always been that way, and sometimes, comedians/skits go too far. I still think it would be good for him (AND NBC/SNL) to apologize, simply because people sometimes don't realize how offensive something might come across until they watch it back for themselves or even when they see the reactions of other people. There's nothing wrong with that imo. While I personally would have steered clear away from any jokes regarding that conflict going on right now, at the same time, I don't think it's "useless" if he states an apology, and I don't think it would be just to "do damage control". I think at some point in life we ALL have said and/or done something that was offensive to another person, and didn't really realize just how offensive it was until it was brought to our attention. 🤷🏾‍♀️

[animationismycomfort]

wait okay i need to ask genuinely because I'm not understanding very well. i promise im trying not to be rude

but how are mspec/bi/pan lesbians valid/a thing?

Lesbian quite specifically means "woman who loves women", therefore, someone who loves men or someone who identifies as a man, couldn't be a lesbian? It feels like stealing the term from... lesbians, does it not?? "words are just words, gender is made up" but these terms, these words, they do hold meaning, don't they? They were made for a reason, after all. Lesbians feel a bit... pushed out when it comes to certain things sometimes, if that makes sense. I'm a lesbian myself and I sincerely feel like this label isn't "just a word" really and this invites male-aligned people into our space. We made these words so that we can describe ourselves, not even just lesbian, more words than that of course. Most, it not all identities, were named so that we could put words to our identity. for us thats women who love women. I'm not fully educated, and I'm open to it, and sorry for ranting but the term just does... bother me a little.

most of my friends, who also identify as lesbian, agree to this sentiment, and I do feel it's important to listen to wlw who say these things, we feel pushed out of our own space by people who could very well have their own space without taking a word we have always used to identify ourselves and mixing it to have a different meaning.

I’m not really good for this type of question as I myself do not fully understand(mostly because I am not of that minority specifically)but I get using labels that might be strange to others to explain yourself which is why I’m open and greatly love people who use them as well

you might wanna ask someone who does actual research and has a big understanding about it I could recommend some if you wish I know a bi lesbian blog that could help or you could search some up as well

sorry I can’t help but as someone who doesn’t have first hand experience I feel like I can’t really give a good one

but I think they’re valid because gender can be complicated and so can sexuality and I think if people truly feel that these labels fit them then so be it

I’ve noticed most people who use these terms are mostly people with more genders

or with different romantic and sexual attraction

or or they themselves are a system with multiple different people in there

or or or it can be for people with preferences as well

doesn’t mean they have to be of that to use em but it’s the most common

I personally think if you truly feel that you are this thing

then you are

gender and sexuality are all about feelings are they not?

and these terms were made to explain feelings and emotions we ourselves back in the day could not understand isn’t that true?

so….why not in my opinion

I’m sorry if it makes you uncomfortable but that might be an issue you yourself need to solve other then that I can’t give much else

also also how have y’all felt pushed out of your own space as far as I know mspec lesbians have their own?

as do male lesbians so how have you been pushed out of your own space?

I think you have some stuff to figure out but that you can do in your own time

though you again could find some help in the spaces and blogs I’ve talked about

either way I hope you find whatever your looking for

and I thank you for trying to understand and for being brave enough to ask even with your complicated and pretty strange views

#bit of a complicated ask with some complicated feelings #thanks for it nonetheless #and I wish I could help more but I’m not a professional on these things #also for the whole definition thing I think we used basic words to describe our complicated feelings as that’s all they were aloud but now #that we’re evolving we’re learning more ways to understand our complicated feelings #and one of those ways is finding out that though these definitions have a fit already they can also fit you #and I don’t think that’s a bad thing we as a society are changing everyday #words have meaning but these meanings and words were made up by people trying to understand themselves and though they have a basic #definition that is not all they are or made for #once you realize that everthing gets a bit easier to understand #also if I accidentally cherry picked your ask that was not my intention and im sorry if it felt like it was #I’m just trying my best with it seems a very long and serious issue of a problem for you #forgive me if I accidentally misunderstood anything #and if I offended you or said something personally innaporpraite please tell as I’m not good with telling when it comes to text #anyways have a good day or night wherever you are #and I hope you find some peace of mind and I hope you get the knowledge your seeking elsewhere #I hope no one gives me asks like this again #like not gonna fault people who wanna learn but I’m not that type of blog or person #mspec lesbian #mspec #boy lesbian #lesbian #question #asks #answered #not really #my stuffy stuff #if I offended anyone or got anything wrong please let me know #and feel free to educate me as well im always willing to learn #if this post hurts anyone I will gladly delete it

[oraclekleo]

Kleooo 🥺 Hellooooo! 💗

Hehe I’ve got a question and if possible I’d like to ask for some advice of yours as well 🥹 I hope I’m not bothering you too much 😭

Here it goes:

I was given a free reading by a friend of mine who’s been doing tarot for years now, it was just for fun & so I decided to ask about my Twin Flame, I was told that we haven’t met yet and that he’s from a different country, and as beautiful as his qualities were…

We all know the thing about TF’s and how toxic relationships with them usually are, and the healing part might not even come, or if it will, it’ll literally take so long and the emotional stress…. Ugh girrrl 😭 you knoooow!

I then had a Future Spouse reading this month as a bday gift to myself, just my curiosity peeking hehe I asked about his qualities and how we’d meet and such & Kleo, I kid you not 😭

EVERYTHING was literally the SAME 😭 from the qualities, the meeting, the from a different country.. ALL OF IT 💀

And if I’m being honest, all the TF knowledge we’ve known about… I’m kind of scared? and to marry the same person? 🙃 I might roll down a hill…

The reason I came here is because I wanted to ask for your advice on this kind of things? Or or or your thoughts on TF’s relationships and such? 🥺🥺🥺

I know we’re all given a free will, but I just can’t help but feel sad and scared and idk 😭 I’m sorryyyy if this is too much for you 😭

Thank you, Kleo! Appreciate your time 💗✨

Hello!

First of all, I'm not really that much familiar with the Twin Flame theory, I only know some basics but honestly...

Why worry about something that might never happen?

Even if two readers matched their readings now, it doesn't mean it's set in stone. We constantly evolve and mature as people. Just because your future spouse reading described some specific type of person now, it doesn't mean your future spouse reading in a year will describe the exactly same person. Your ideal will change in time, you will change in time.

Don't worry and don't get anxious about things that might never happen.

I always wonder why people keep worrying about non-existent issues, devoting time and energy to hypothetical catastrophic scenarios. But then when something really happens in their life, they have the tendency to close their eyes or to escape their problems instead of actually facing them and finding solutions.

Stop focusing on something that doesn't exist now. Put your energy into your life now. Educate yourself, do what you like, pay attention to your self-development and self-love. You don't need a spouse to be complete. You were born complete. Now just learn to recognize it. 😉

And even if you by some chance meet a person that follows the description from your readings, you have no obligation to actually hang out with them. If the idea of twin flame spouse makes you worried, then it's possible the reading was meant to warn you not to fall for such a type of person. 😊

I mean... Use your common sense and always ask yourself what it is you want in life. Don't get hyper focused on what tarot says. It's not a dogma.

I don't know what else to say. Use your brains and all will be good. 😂

Thank you for the question and I hope I helped a bit. 💖

Kleo 🦄

#oracle kleo #q&a

[vtori73]

It always so... ugh I don't know just ugh.

Just, the LGBTQIA community REALLY needs to work on not being Biphobic for like... 5 seconds at the very least. Just... it's soooo normalized, even bi people who have internalized biphobia partake because they like licking boots of biphobics, I guess.

It's just interesting too to realize how MANY of these assholes don't actually know any actual bi people or our actual struggles and just make shit up to be mad at bi people for. Like, for example these non-bi people were going on & on about how this bi person explaining their experiences sounded like x biracial person/that bi people "stole" biracial peoples fav talking point (specifically white biracial people), etc and just... 1st of all... y'all REALLY don't know anything about Bi-ness, bi people etc because THIS ISNT A NEW TALKING POINT, we've have BEEN talking about this sort of phenomena (we don't feel like we belong in either straight or gay communities) for a VERY VERY LONG TIME. It's not our fault you don't bother having bi people around in your life &/or just educating yourself on our history, texts, & issues. 2nd you can't compare these two things many people known this and some people have learned this more recently but regardless why is it in this instance okay to bring up? Once a bi person annoys you it's okay to make comparisons that don't make sense/problematic?

Not to mention how insidious it is to do so because this makes us seem like we have privilege in anyway that has to do with our sexuality and regardless of your personal opinions on the matter WE don't. "Well what about straight bi's/bi people dating cisheteroallo people?" Well, for one thing while I will admit there probably are a FEW Bi people who get benefits from this sort of relationship it's not JUST because of the relationship but also other factors of how they go about things (& no this is not in regards to closeted bi people) this also isn't exactly a unique phenomena with bi people either (such as cis gays/lesbians who are/were trying to assimilate with allocishetero society) HOWEVER for many Bi people being with a partner that's allocishetero isn't really all that privileged when you realize specifically Bi woman (idk the stats for gay/bi men) are more likely to suffer from IPV compared to either straight or gay woman. And, well, you know how Gays/Lesbians tend to have high rates of x compared to straight people like health issues, for example? Yeah well, the rates for us tend to be even higher compared to either straight or gay people and that's just focusing on cis individuals imagine how worse it gets for trans bi people.

So, yeah, regardless of who we are in a relationship with that doesn't really change the fact that we still struggle with higher rates or health issues, homelessness, sexual assault, substance abuse problems, domestic abuse, and whatever else AND despite us being the biggest community get hardly any funding or resources compared to the LG communities. Sure, MAYBE we don't deal with as much harassment if we are out in public with our seemingly cishetero partner but again this is a much more complicated and nuanced discussion then people are willing to acknowledge considering that the abuse and problems we face tends to get erased and labeled as just homophobia or something. I actually tried to do some quick research too & didn't find much but one article from the UK talking about hate crimes and how the stats weren't all that much diff from each sexuality with 77% gay men & woman participants experiencing a hate crime & 75% bisexual people but this stat actually goes UP when you account for gender (79% for bi woman participants). It also mentions how Bi & Trans people are less likely to report incidents to the police so I can only imagine these numbers are even higher (btw it's 79% for trans participants).

One thing that would REALLY help is if LG people would just... ACKNOWLEDGE this shit, just acknowledge we actually do have struggles and are oppressed just like any other queer identity and us having to deal with our own community not helping & even just flat out hurting us only makes our problems worse. That isn't me calling y'all oppressors though because y'all aren't, BUT I will call y'all oppressor wannabes because why else would you treat us like shit for just existing?

*not entirely sure where to put this above so sticking it down here but yeah the big difference between white biracial people and bisexuality is that bisexuals don't have privilege just for being Bi. White biracial people have privilege due to proximity to whiteness & (usually) colorism something that is visible from the outside. Bisexuality, however, is not some offshoot of straightness and is not actually connected to being straight in anyway (and also sexuality is not really visible just by looking at someone) and even if it WAS we aren't afford any "privilege" because in our allocishetero society any sort of queer attraction is a deviation from what it considers the norm, if you DONT just like the "opposite sex" your not seen as normal. Straight people don't see us as straight (sometimes certain dynamics do cause this like bi woman not being taken seriously & are just "doing it for attention" but that's specifically a mix of misogyny & biphobia NOT straight privilege) and while most of us bisexuals don't give a shit what they think the problem though is that gay people see US as straight people! Because regardless of our queer attractions so long as we don't conform to what they have made being homosexuality all about we don't get to be included. We have to play along with them and join in on the Biphobic jokes and give in to their binaries in order to be included and if not we get cast aside as troublesome. Some of them think we choose or can choose to be in a "straight relationship" when we are done being homosexual but it's so funny in a sad way they end up repeating what conservatives & bigots have said to them, that their sexuality is a choice. No, the Bi person you got dumped for isnt going into a "straight passing relationship" because they were straight to begin with they just happened to start dating someone who was cis & straight & allo afterwords (which isn't farfetched considering you known... the population of cis straight allo people is kind of high). Not to mention this topic gets really tricky/messy when you realize a lot of LG people label anyone who looks straight on the outside as a bi x straight person couple/straight relationship when in reality it could easily be any number of combinations of queer individuals together especially when you take trans people into account and how this sort of rhetoric negatively effects them as well.

[brightgnosis]

Not Everyone Is A Teacher

I am legitimately getting so exhausted by all of these (ultimately new, in the grand scheme of time) practitioners who make all of these teaching blogs, who legitimately think practicing for 2 to 5 years is good enough, and makes them perfectly capable of "sharing what they know with others".

In reality, that is teaching; educational blog posts, youtube videos, etc, are still lay teaching. And they do need to be taken far more seriously in a religious and spiritual community which, by and large, has no set authority or overhead to otherwise vet teachers or set up proper training institutions like other communities do.

I genuinely love you all dearly, but I need y'all to understand the responsibility that comes with teaching others spiritually and religiously. And I need you to understand that 2 to 5 years? Is not enough. Sometimes 10 years isn't enough sometimes; hell, there are people like me with 23 years under their belt who are still not qualified or experienced enough, even! But at 2 to 5 years, you are definitely, beyond a shadow of a doubt, nowhere near qualified or knowledgeable or experienced enough to do teach properly, and as responsibly as you need to be.

I'm also exhausted by people whose default response is "just write your own book" or "just teach your own class" whenever you correct them on something that you know to be fundamentally false. But some measure of closeness to, and experience with, an issue doesn’t inherently or necessarily mean that you’re automatically qualified to educate others about said issue in any manner. It just means you’re close to and have some measure of experience with the issue.

People would do well to understand there’s a significant difference between “I know and have experience with a thing and want to share it” --- and --- “I legitimately have a well rounded grasp of the complete subject matter, an understanding of the responsibilities inherent to education, and training in the methodologies of appropriate and efficient teaching”.

The second is what actually makes you qualified to teach others (and therefore write “educational posts” about it). The first does not (and people should genuinely be re-thinking their constant desire to write “educational posts” in this case). Furthermore, the two need to be treated with a greater barrier of appropriate separation; having a blog and a really pure desire to share and to help others does not actually make you knowledgeable or qualified to (or actually mature or responsible) enough to be leading others down their spiritual journeys and teaching them about Religion and Witchcraft.

More importantly, though: You are allowed to simply exist; you do not have to succumb to the pressure of the modern internet and Social Media to brand yourself- especially not as a spiritual / religious leader, teacher, expert, authority, (etc), of any kind just because you have a platform of some kind on the Internet and people follow you ... You can just be a normal blog, and talk about yourself and what you're learning, and how you feel about it, and what you think- like a normal Human Being- and merely exist as a Human without the weight of "teaching" and being "a resource" to others. It's perfectly fine. You do not need anyone's permission.

Relevant tangent here

This is an opinion piece based in 20+ years of experience. If you found this helpful or interesting, please consider Tipping or Leaving a Ko-Fi (being Disabled, even $1 helps); you can see my other "Original Content" here.

This account is run by a Dual Faith «(Converting) Masorti Jew + Traditional NeoWiccan» & «Ancestral Folk Magic Practitioner» with 20+ years of experience as a practicing Pagan and Witch. If that bothers you, don't interact.

#Old Blog Reposts #2022 #Original Content #Original Witchy Content #Wicca #NeoWicca #Witchcraft #Religion & Magic #Teaching Religion #Magic #Witchblr #Paganblr #Wiccablr

[uselessidiotsquad]

Character Interview: Mhonde

INTRODUCTION

Can you introduce yourself?

- Mechanist Mhonde, here! Photon forge and holo-tech calibrator, er, well I was. I still work with it some. Mainly I just tinker with golems these days.

What is your gender identity, orientation and relationship status?

- Male, straight, and (he beams) recently taken.

Where and when were you born?

- Rata Sum, sort of to be anticipated, really. 1310 AE. Always loved that number, very even looking and easy to remember.

What is your weapon of choice and fighting style?

- I mean, you don’t get skilled tinkering with holoforges without using them at least some. For technical reasons.

Lastly, are you happy?

- Oh for the most part, yes! Do I wish people would stop fussing over me and let me go back to the workshop? Yes. Is that going to happen? Not likely.

FAMILY AND FRIENDS

What’s your family like? What is your relationship with them?

- My family is a handful and a half. I'm the youngest of six, yes you heard me, six. I don't talk or hear much from most of them. They're off doing their own thing. My parents are still around, one's a medic and the other is a Peacekeeper.

Have you ever ran away from home?

- From home? Can't say that I have.

Would you consider marriage or having children?

- (he shrugs) Maybe. That’s bypassing a lot of steps which frame the end result. And it's not just for me to decide, you know. Both things sort of involve two people.

Do you secretly hate one of your friends?

- I have disagreements sometimes with my fellow classmates and krewemates but it's nothing to get hateful about.

Which friend knows everything about you?

- I don't even know everything about me! Wouldn't expect anyone else to.

ASKED BY FANS  

Are you literate? Have you been to school?

- (he makes a face that looks like a start of a frown) ...are you really going to ask that? Yes, I'm educated. Word of advice, don't uh ask Asura that. You wouldn't ask a Sylvari how the dirt tastes, would you? College of Statics, surprisingly.

The eeriest prediction you made that later came true?

- You know when I jokingly said my job as a photon forge calibrator 'would be the end of me' I didn't know it would actually try.

What is something you were embarrassingly late to realize?

- Just because you can take a short cut and get something done twice as efficiently doesn't always mean you should. (he grumbles a little) Most especially when there's the equivalent of a small stars worth of nuclear fusions happening in a condensed space for making physical light constructs.

Do you have mental health or physical issues?

- (he smiles at you and starts laughing uproariously) Either you’re being polite or you have as bad of sight as I do! My ears, that’s funny. My eyes are pretty fried thanks to the proton forge, I can still see a small area in the center of my vision but besides that it’s spent.

What is your current main goal?

- Figure out how to introduce some of my family that's still around to, ah, Raj.

CHOICES:

Drink or food?

- Food. It's hard to focus when you're hungry or else you end up snapping and breaking something because you're in a bad mood. (he looks to the side for a moment and shifts in his seat) Not that I've ever done that.

Cats or dogs?

- Cats. Truthfully, I do prefer golems though, they don't shed. Unless you've done something spectacularly wrong with the exterior metal coating in which case I want to see.

Early bird or night owl?

- Night owl is more likely, have stayed up far too late working on projects or fine tuning parts.

Optimist or pessimist?

- I would say optimist! To the point of annoyance for some of my old krewe.

Sassy or sarcastic?

- Sarcastic? I think? I don't like to be if I can help it. There's plenty of that around, thank you, don't need me adding to it.

HAVE YOU EVER:

Been caught sneaking out

- Sneaking implies going out when you're expected to know not to. Luckily for me, I don't bother with others expectations and go where I please!

Broke a bone

- Not yet, thankfully!

Received flowers

- I haven't.

Ghosted someone

- Nope. If anything I've been, well, heh, too honest? If I'm not interested in someone I just say it. It doesn't always make me out to be the nicest.

Pretended to laugh at a joke you didn’t get

- No. It wasn't that I didn't get the joke, it just wasn't funny. There are far better jokes to make than trying to insult how someone looks. (He wrinkles his nose in annoyance)

#gw2 #ocs #asura #mechanist mhonde #character interview

[stargirlfics]

I'm sorry if you've answered this before and you are under no obligation to respond but do you find a little off-putting that Henry Cavill hasn't shown any sign of supporting BLM? I'm not saying he doesn't (don't come for me pls LOL), I just get the idea that he the British upper middle class attitude (why are people causing a fuss? things aren't that bd for them!), esp given he comes from privilege and money. I could be wrong but would love to hear your thoughts. PS: Get the CEvans thing though

I have answered this before but I’ll repeat what I’ve said!

It’s a conflicting thing especially as a black person trying to talk about who posted /said what and when and if it was right or not enough or performative or acceptable, it’s rather exhausting to try and keep up with but it doesn’t bother me and I’ll tell you why

We have a weird kind of access to Henry (as well as any other big name people you may be fans of) and he has access to us as fans because he has status that people recognize and know and people that follow that and a platform he can use and be listened to

A part of me says ok you should be using that wide reaching platform to speak about racism or social issues in the world and another part of me is like...none of these white people have really spoken up about thing particular issue before and sure he can speak up about it and so can anyone but do they actually mean what they say and walk the walk in real life, that’s what the concern should be about

For many of them and regular every day white people without that kind of status, they are just becoming aware of what we as black people have been trying to say and get their attention with for a long time now

I don’t want you to rely on him or any of these white people frankly to say something because you should be relying on yourself to do your share of the work to be anti racist and to support black people, that’s all you can do

Don’t rely on them but of course as a fan who cares, we should hold them accountable and what’s more important than anyone saying anything online is if they take the time to educate themselves and be vocal and supportive in their actual life, the post does nothing if it isn’t carried over to real life and continued every day henceforth

Because that’s where the real work is, in real life, it’s a lifelong thing not just about posting on social media or saying something here and there, it’s continuous and you could have this argument every single day if someone isn’t actively showing that they support us

I’m not interested in seeing him post anything more than he has frankly, I’m not interested in dissecting what he has to say and discussing whether it’s right or wrong or if he needed to say more or if he shouldn’t have said this or that, sure it would be really nice to have that support form him but the truth is that we don’t know him in his personal life and what steps he’s already taken to speak with his own friends and family about racism especially where in lives in Europe and not just within the sphere of the US

I can imagine he’s probably been having conversations and listening and educating himself and donating to the cause because we know enough about him that it seems like Henry’s someone who is open to criticism and to learning and bettering himself and has a great deal of empathy or a willingness to just try and listen even with his background of privilege

We can always ask white people to do more and do better, there’s a never ending list of things they gotta get educated about moving forward and while I don’t want anyone to coddle them I also don’t want you to be upset that this is something they don’t understand and will really have to do a lot of heavy lifting to come to terms with and do better with

He’s said stuff before regarding race in Hollywood that he got backlash for and with the kind of person he’s shown himself to be in that time and since then it wouldn’t surprise me if he took time to really look at himself and do better

I hope that all made sense!

#asks #henry cavill

[heavensenthearty]

I'm still caught in my Avatar!Zuko AU and it just downed me how awareness-raising that concept alone would have been if it was the OG series' plot.

Even in the original story, Zuko is someone from a privileged country and position who then learns the damage his people and the ideals they hold have done to the rest of the world. Now imagine this: A western piece of media which's main focus is completely dismantling the "white savior" (*cough* "fake woke" *cough, cough*) trope.

Zuko is obviously not white-coded, but the premise has its similitudes. He would be the hero, but he has to learn how to help the rest of the world and what "help" really means. He comes from a technologically advanced country, he probably thinks technology and industrialization are better ways of living; well, the Southern Water Tribe is fine without much fancy machinery, thank you very much. He comes from a country with a somewhat solid and established political system, while the Air Nomads like their anti-hierarchy beliefs quite a lot.

The people from this countries obviously needs and wants help, just not the one an outsider might believe they want, and the only way to actually fix things is only listening to them.

"Yes, we would very much like international commercial arrangements just, whatever you do with our products, keep it to yourself and don't try to push your production system into us."

"Yes, we actually know a lot about the political issues you're talking about because we are the ones at the other side of them. Let's sit down and join your bit and my bit, and see what it is as a whole."

"While we are at that, we have plenty of experience in failed politics because, with your country being the Big Tough Guy and all, inside politics are pretty much the only thing we can rely on, so just let us educate yourself on how some ideas you might have ain't it."

"Oh! This actually turned out a whole lot different than what I expected, but I do see from where you're coming from, and it makes sense that I never thought about this stuff because I still come from a somewhat sheltered upbringing so it's nice that you are taking the bother of teaching me. Now I can see that I legit know nothing about the people I'm supposedly trying to help and turns out they are quite capable of helping themselves, so they don't need a hero — doesn't matter who it is — they just need to be listened to because they are super smart people that knows exactly what they're talking about. If anything, I am pretty much their sidekick."

*drums fingers with interest over the table*

Then again, I guess I wouldn't be able to ask that much from the series, since Bryke are pretty dead-set in highlighting the "good" parts of colonialism. Which explains why so many people is also so dead-set in "explaining" me — someone from a country under a socio-communist dictatorship — what socialism and communism "really" are.

Thanks but no thanks, guys. Keep your wokeness to your fucking selves! ☺️

#atla #zuko #avatar the last airbender #avatar the legend of aang #zutara #and don't even get me started on how it would contrast with aang's preachy ways

[fandomele]

I don't wanna start anything but I've seen the lack of love for POC ships happen in dozens of fandoms now and I just gotta say you can't fault people for not liking what you like bro. You could make a show full of diverse representation but no one's truly gonna care unless the characters are actually interesting. I'm black but I'm not gonna enjoy a show JUST b/c there's a black person in it. If I don't like them I don't like them and them or me being black has nothing to do with it

okay so racism tw , supergirl, anti supercorp fandom, anti supergirl fandom. long post for ts

no, it’s okay, you are free to express your opinion, just like I’m free to get annoyed at the tag being filled with Lena and Lena and Lena I haven’t watched a show that has an ace character in it, Sex Education, because it’s not my kind of show and it bores me (though I do reblog gifsets of the Ace Scene and I am so happy about it. Because I do care about ace representation, I try to promote these things and also to share so that it might reach people who are interested in shows like that and will get a kick out of it. But I’m not saying everyone has to), and I’m not saying you must like everything, but at the same time a fandom like ours simply ignoring the plot of entire episodes because… what, they only find one character interesting and they couldn’t find ANY other worth mentioning, is something I personally found ridiculous. 

And that’s kind of the thing, isn’t it? You raised a great point. If this was a part of the fandom that from the beginning had simply said ‘I like this because of my tastes, and everyone has different ones’ I wouldn’t be exasperated, but given how it actually went, nope, THEY said it wasn’t just about people’s tastes, it’s about having representation and supporting fellow lgbtqia+ fans. So good part of my frustration depends on this specific fandom and how it behaved in the past. 

For more context, it bothers me that the loudest (even if small) group of fans left watching supergirl on tumblr are the ones yelling about how Kara and Lena not being together is homophobia, and how they are being queerbaited and how the show (and non supercorp fans) is against gay people, while the tag itself is full of posts either complaining about the lack of Lena, and writing posts about Lena, and completely ignoring the amazing wlw couple there and the trans character there, and in fact those episodes with little Lena but focused on those characters get downvoted/boycotted/ignored by the fandom, and while they hate on all actors and writers if they so much as point out it’s not canon or that they are being bullies, and attack minorities, people of colors, transgender people, people with mental illnesses all day long to defend their ‘rights’. Not to mention that it’s the same group that back in the day accused people of shipping Kara and Mon El, also canon, together because they were against James, who is black, and so it was because ‘racism,’ and then turned around and hated James as soon as he was canonly together with Lena. And there is proof of them being racist as well like when they photoshopped James’s actor as an ape* next to Lena’s actress, and how Raul who played Lena’s ex also commented on that behavior. They use social issues to attack everyone and then show they don’t really care about supporting a show that actually has the representation THEY say they are not getting. 

I was bored by James and Kara. Nothing to do with him being black. I found him cute with Lena at first but then it became a bad relationship for him to keep. But if you (always a general you, not YOU-YOU anon) accuse me of shipping Kara with someone else (Mon El) only because I’m racist and don’t want her with James, that’s the only reason, and then you start insulting James like hell for being with Lena, you basically said it yourself that it’s racism, and on top of it you used his being black and the ‘you are racist’ card as props to attack people, and then disregarded him and the actor as soon as you didn’t need it anymore, and that sounds also racist to me. As well as how pretending to care about trans issues only to ignore the trans character after you stop needing it is using that character/actress and it’s transphobic, if you ask me. 

I’m not saying it’s everyone, I’m not saying it’s all those shippers, I’m not saying personal taste doesn’t count, but come on. Just admit you only care about your ship and it’s not about ‘moral’ reasons, that’s fine, but make it a social issue, and then turn around and ignore episodes about canon representation and downvote them and ask people to boycott episodes. How can you also not find ANYTHING but Lena interesting in a show that isn’t about Lena? So many choices, and yet.

 At least this is my opinion, and seems to be the opinion of all the people who liked posts and reblogged. Again, there is a lot of stuff to talk about so  the answer is chaotic, but to sum it up:

1) if you build a whole case around the fact that your fanon ship (Kara and Lena) is about representation too, about gay rights, and how much you care about it, and have spent years telling everyone else that they are racist and homophobic because they ship other things, and then you don’t even make a peep about the representation you are getting and just complain about your fanon ship, which by the way up until now involves a white, straight, woman, you are using social issues to prop a ship you like and you don’t really care that much about them outside of it. Admit from the beginning it’s about your tastes and that you just like those two women together, it’s not about a show giving you representation, and it’s fine, but you can’t have both. You can’t tell people that your fanon ship is all about representation AND if they don’t like it it’s because of homophobia, and if they like another it’s because of racism, AND simultaneously ignore everything you get that isn’t about said fanon ship.

2) the cast was attacked in the past with racist and transphobic tweets so some people, not everyone, are also motivated by them. Also really, you are telling me that all these people who like Lena but do care about social issues just happen not to like Nia, a trans woman, and not like her ship with Brainy, a man of color, and not like Alex and Kelly, and not like about the whole plot about the guy going after Nia because transphobic, there is just NOTHING interesting to talk about? Either they are using social issues to their advantage which is kinda homophobic and racist and transphobic in itself, or this is a giant coincidence, because there isn’t one of these plots that is worth a post or that won’t make them not complain about the lack of Lena in a show that has all these characters together.

3) for me it’s frustrating to get all this good stuff and then find nothing but comments about Lena in the MAIN tag, where one usually goes after an episode to talk about the episode itself. That’s how tags work in all fandoms except this one. 

4) I’m white, that means that I can’t declare that tumblr deciding not to ship biracial couples in nearly every show where there is one is a matter of tastes or is a matter of racism, it’s not for me to decide, and my personal opinion is that it depends on the person but there is such a racist culture in some places that it can’t not have a role in it. And I’ve seen people of color bring up that yes, it’s about tastes too, but since I’ve also seen many others instead bring up the issue that it’s just happening too much to be a coincidence, that every single time people say a ship is platonic if one of them isn’t white, I feel like it would be racist of me to dismiss those concerns. Because it is a trend and because the racist insults thrown at actors more than once do say that while for some people it is a matter of tastes, for others it’s definitely not just that. Just going to leave this as a little example that represents that hundreds we saw in years:

 *

edit: and

#Anonymous #ele answers #it's been YEARS of this which I can't sum up in one answer #so it's kinda hard to believe that they are ALL being like this without any maliciousness #and that they do care about representation that much and that their insults were in good faith #when they ignore 100% of canon representation #none of it interesting #because their fanon one isn't happening #transphobia tw #racism tw #long post for ts #long post tw #anti supercorp fandom #anti supercorp #anti supergirl fandom #pics from facepalmong-since-chernobyl

[haikyuu-imagines-blog]

Well if you wanna listen, lately my mother has been judging/bothering me because I don't really do feminine things. And saying females like me should learn how to do cooking, cleaning, laundry and etc. And that I need to do this because how am I gonna survive by myself, or how "my future husband" is gonna be disappointed with me because I'm technically useless to him. And she gets mad at me because I can't cut certain things right or clean certain things right. What should I do? Im still only 14

This is actually a very hard issue because there is a different generation and different views between you and your mother. If this is they way she is, she probably has done all this things for her husband and never questioned them, she knows nothing else than this. You have the whole future waiting for you and in the end the time will come she won’t be able to control you anymore. I think that women should not be responsible for all the house chores and they shouldn’t serve anyone if they do not wish to do so. I think that a girls like you should care about their social lives, education, pursue their dreams and do their hobbies. Whatever they wish for and no role should be forced upon them. This is violing to force someone into the future they don’t want to live. I hope you will stay loyal to your opinions and will be able to do whatever you want. However, it’s also nice to know how to cook and clean etc. for yourself! Thats just skills that can be useful to you! Not for pleasure of others and I’m sorry your mother cares more about preparing you to be a good housewife and not just preparing you for independent life. Like as said you are still very young and should not have to think about marriage or anything like that. And in my opinion she should encourage you to find a person who would love you for you with all the flaws and not care that you can’t clean ”right’ (btw there is no right way to do that, its very subjective) I suppose it is probably pretty hard for you to discuss such things with her as she has some outdated views, but I also hope you will be able to stand your ground and learn certain things for yourself and at your own pace. You don’t have to do anything for anyone if you don’t want to and your future will belong only to you. It’s probably very hard for you right now and it is unfair you have to go through that, but you have your own worth as a young woman and I hope you can protect your real dreams and hopes, don’t let them die because of ignorant people. I’m no expert but if you ever want to learn some skills and want to do it for yourself write to me, I can offer some guidance and tips! Here you will have only support and love and understanding, no pressure. Sorry if it’s a bit messy but I feel for you a lot:( My dad used to say similar things to me and I know how worthless it makes people feel. We are not objects and we are not made for anyone’s pleasure and comfort, that’s why we have to support each other. Please talk to me anytime you need to!

[luvdsc]

Tw: fainting episodes

Hii Miss Cat I'm sorry for using your inbox to vent, but I kinda an elder sister advice atm and so i thought I'd reach out to you. I study a lot, like practically the entire day, because I'm preparing for the national level pre-med exam in my country, and it's usually not even a bother since I like studying but I've been falling sick pretty often lately, actually fainting tbh, I suddenly feel dizzy and the next moment I'm on the floor. I used to faint even as a kid since second grade but the doctor said it was due to dehydration or standing too long in the sun, I don't do that anymore and I'm scared of telling my mom if I feel sick now because she worries too much, but my dad he gets mad at me, like it's something I can control and do on purpose, he says I'm being lazy, i already workout and teach on top of everything and the exhaustion is getting to me, add to that the pressure of doing well, approx 1.6 million students sit for the exam and only around 10k get in, it's scary already. I can't talk to any of my friends about this because they get too worried and constantly tell me to eat properly or rest more, but I don't really have the time to and I'm tired of saying it over again. I feel like I am pushing myself enough but this is already making me feel burnt out, how will I ever survive med school?

hey, honey bee 💛 omg it’s no worries at all, please don’t apologize !! pseudo big sister here at your service 🥰 oh my gosh, while I’m happy to hear that you take your education seriously, please please please take regular breaks and make some time for yourself to relax and destress, lovebug ): your well being and health are the most important !!!! please put yourself first ): you’re fainting and not feeling well, and forget studying, that should take a backseat. you yourself are very precious, and you need to take care of yourself pls !!!! omg and please tell your mom !!! as a parent, she will always worry about you regardless (my mom is the same way), but the sooner you tell her, the sooner she can help you and take you to the doctor and the sooner you will feel better !! 🤍 your dad on the other hand.. Where is he… I just wanna talk 🙂 you’re working your butt off and even when you’re sick, you’re thinking of not worrying your mom, and he has the audacity to accuse you of such things ??? that’s not okay at all, sweetpea, and I’m so sorry you have to experience that /: you are not lazy, you are working so hard, you’re doing your best, and I’m proud of you !!! 💗 I know it can be scary, I went through similar pressures from my parents and everything was so competitive when I was in school too, but you’re doing amazing 💘💘 I’m rooting for you, sweetpea, and I hope you will secure your spot in the medical field 💕💕 and even if things don’t turn out the way you hope, it’s going to be okay because after seeing the amount of persistence and determination you have already, I know you’ll find an even better opportunity for yourself 💕 just think that if this one doesn’t work out, then it’s not the one, and you’re one step closer to finding the right one 🌷🌷 but also, you’re working so hard to make others happy and care so much for others, but the person you should care for the most is yourself, lovebug ): treat yourself kindly too please 🤍 please listen to your friends - you really do need to rest and eat your meals because in the long run, it’s going to harm you. You might think that it’ll save you time now and be beneficial in the short run, but you’re harming yourself in doing so, and it can lead to worse health issues in the future, which means you won’t even be able to enjoy all your hard work in the end. feeling burnt out is a major sign telling you to stop and take a break, sweetpea. as a med school candidate, what would you tell a patient who is not getting enough sleep, not eating, showing signs of stress, and fainting? you want to go into med school to take care of others, but you have to take care of yourself first, honey bee !!!!! 🌸🌸

also, oh my god, you have typhoid ??? please I hope this means you’re resting now and taking a break, honey bee 😭😭 you’re pushing yourself so much, and I’m very proud of how far you’ve come, but please please please take care of yourself and your health first and foremost !!!! 🤍 I’m glad to hear that your dad is also being a better dad too. I’m also very happy to know you don’t feel as sick anymore, but please still take the time to relax and fully recover !!!! No studying ):< think of this time as a long, well deserved break !!! I’m relieved that you’re taking care of yourself now, and I really hope you continue to do so, lovebug 💗 and I will do the same too !! Omg you don’t need to apologize, you can never be a bother, sweetpea, please don’t think that !!! thank you for giving me an update, I was very worried about you when I first saw your initial message 🤧 wishing you a speedy recovery, and I’m sending you all my love and support, lovebug !!!! 💌💌✨

#asks #anonymous #tw: fainting episodes

[twelvedaysinaugust]

And unfortunately to his fandom, who look down on anything playing on the radio. When they don't seem to know a lot of songs on radio and how they may be different from songs that stream well and how so many of those artists are women or black. ///

I’d like to add something because I think though the depiction of Louis and some parts of the fandom may be accurate I really think it depends on who you alienate yourself with. On my stan account I’m mainly moots with black or poc Louies which I have to be honest we are the backbone of this fandom … most of the Louies I know stan Megan, Beyoncé doja, jazmine and many more it is likely that Louis is the lil random yt boy in our stan list but we adore him anyways I digress when it comes to the urban thing he was completely in the wrong for that it is a very racially insensitive thing to say but I don’t let it bother me than that bc I can’t expect a rich white men to be educated in these things especially about the history of the word. With the bands at coachella thing it was very alienating but I also understand where he was coming from. He wanted indie bands white, black or Hispanic I honestly don’t think he meant it as like there’s too many negroes here though I will never argue with another black person on what they should feel regarding some of Louis’s action. But generally I think the black and poc parts of the fandom acknowledge and actually discuss those thing compared to the white girlies who are him as this perfect guy who can’t do no wrong. And that’s what is harmful I think

Oh wow, I really appreciate this addition. Louis' fanbase seems overwhelmingly white and I think that leads to a lot of excuse-making and deflection. It's refreshing (and reassuring) to hear these issues being discussed instead of pushed aside. Viewing Louis as a perfect human who can do no wrong doesn't do him or his fans any favors.

[fairycosmos]

I'm just so scared I won't be able to make any new friends bc of my anxiety. Like I know i'll get to know some new people eventually but, I never get like real friends bc I always feel like an obligation and even when people do like me I always fuck things up by not believing they actually care abt me y'know? I just don't know what to do, but my current school literally makes me feel sick. Again, I'm so sorry for bothering you with this. I hope you're doing okay! I love ur blog so much

hey angel. well, even if you didn’t have anxiety it’d be normal to be worried about changing schools. it’s honestly completely natural to be scared of the unknown and of new people, it’s a part of life. but since you’ve had issues w your mental health in the past, you need to remember just how much that anxious section of your mind is going to try to twist your perception of the situation into something negative and scary, even when it’s not. i’m not saying you won’t feel a little awkward or weird at first, but it’s not going to be the nightmare you think it’s going to be, you know? it seems to me like you’re really struggling right now and you need to work on yourself before you can comfortably make proper friends, because if you’re constantly second guessing yourself and stressing over everything then you’ll end up finding it too difficult to talk to people in general. your self worth shouldn’t lie in the hands of others, angel. if you keep telling yourself that nobody cares about you, then eventually you’ll start to believe it. but in reality, you don’t know what’s going on inside other people’s heads. you don’t know how they perceive you, all you can do is guess and the guesses you’re making seem to be based in self hatred and anxiety, so they’re inaccurate. you need to find a way to stop fighting who you are, to become your own best friend. be patient with your heart and stop being so hard on yourself, because treating yourself like crap doesn’t solve anything. keep seeing your psychologist, and let them know how nervous and apprehensive you’re feeling so you can talk it through and come to some sort of rational decision. it’s also a good idea to tell your parents how you’re feeling if that’s an option, because having a network of support during such difficult times can really help, more than you think it can. keeping that channel of communication between you and the people around you open and honest is the best way to make sure you’re not isolating yourself and making things harder than they have to be. 

i think it really comes down to whether or not you can see yourself happily and successfully continuing your education at your current school. that’s what matters. it’s a choice that only you can make, but it sounds like you already know the answer. your ‘friends’ seem like they’re taking you for granted and not really appreciating you for everything wonderful and positive that you are, and you know you deserve SO much more than that. not everybody you meet is going to be on the same wavelength as you, and genuine friends are rare - but that doesn’t mean they’re not out there. just because it’s not happening right now, doesn’t mean it never will. and the way people choose to act is a reflection of them, not of you. don’t stress about people who don’t stress about you, okay? there’s no point, and you don’t need to waste your time. tbh going to a new school would be a clean slate and a chance to start over, but if the idea of it completely terrifies you then it might be super difficult to even consider it. i would just hate to see you get stuck in such uncomfortable circumstances purely bc of temporary emotions like fear and anxiety, especially since they can be managed. keep in mind that change is pretty much inevitable, and throughout the course of your life you’re going to be continuously meeting new people and learning how to fit in with different types of groups. but it’s something you learn how to deal with as you get older n more mature, and as you develop a real sense of self. give yourself some time. 

ultimately it’s entirely up to you, but the only thing you really need to worry about is making yourself happy. this is your life, and if you’re not enjoying it then it’s okay to do everything in your power to change it. it’s nobody else’s business and nobody else’s decision to make. i get that moving schools is a big thing to do, and if you want to wait a while or check out your other options then that’s totally fine, but to me it seems like something has to change bc you’re clearly unhappy with the way things are, and that’s the bottom line. talk to your psychologist, discuss it with your parents and don’t let something as pointless as overthinking dictate what you do. obviously it’s all a lot easier said than done, but you don’t need to expect yourself to have it all figured out at once. just go with the flow, one step at a time. yr going to be okay, and this is something you’re going to be able to move past. and don’t worry at all, you’re literally not bothering me. thank u for saying u love my blog djfgjkdjfgekn i appreciate it n i’m always here if you need a friend. i’m gna leave some links that might offer some additional support, check them out if you have the time :)

https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/online-forums/young-people/i'm-so-scared-and-anxious-about-deciding-to-move-school-and-i'm-stuck

https://www.theguardian.com/childrens-books-site/2014/aug/19/top-10-tips-changing-schools-students-parents

https://www.positivityblog.com/improve-self-esteem/

http://mentalhealthsf.org/six-simple-habits-that-defeat-anxiety/

https://www.calmclinic.com/anxiety/management

https://psychcentral.com/lib/5-steps-to-reduce-worrying-and-anxiety/