northwest-cryptid

[northwest-cryptid]

Customer: LUCKY NUMBERS DMV: DOES IT LOOK LIKE “TIT”? Verdict: DENIED

[northwest-cryptid]

does anyone feel the layer of plexiglass between themselves and the rest of the world or is that just a me thing

[northwest-cryptid]

Whatever your position about the vax, I just want you to know that mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell

[northwest-cryptid]

[northwest-cryptid]

you should be addicted to shutting the fuck up

You wanna fuck me so bad it makes you look stupid

[northwest-cryptid]

those cicadas about to have the time of their lives

[northwest-cryptid]

#Man I miss Risu's NonStop Nut November jokes

[northwest-cryptid]

I don't know actors, artists, or whatever by like; their actual names. I don't pay attention to things like gender. Listing 100 names of anything is going to be particularly difficult for me given my memory problems and the fact I don't really pay attention to shit like that.

It's annoying when I understand the reason for the assignment, but the assignment is stupid and doesn't matter.

[northwest-cryptid]

this was a hit tweet on bird app so might as well post it here too

#on one hand this is really funny #on the other hand this is the most inaccurate thing character wise #but like honestly if it makes you feel better to believe this is how Gabe would be then go for it #more power to you but let me tell you this is my most ''he wouldn't fucking say that'' moment #Now The Machine on the other hand. Is extremely trans

[northwest-cryptid]

So I was looking over the rules for the "name 100 women" challenge because I thought it would be silly to do it on stream and I noticed something...

"No family, friends, or ex girlfriend or neighbors or any of that shit they have to be googleable women / public figures"

...Fuck that.

No seriously, fuck that.

You want to test if people know women yea? It's supposed to be like, for women's month or whatever. Alright, let me build up and mention women who matter in my life, let me mention my friends; let me name people who I know who may not be public figures or famous people but who are still important people.

Are you trying to say they're lesser? That they don't matter, that they don't count? Why the fuck not? Because you can't confirm their existence?

Okay here's another thing yea? What do you mean "they have to be googleable women" guess what fucker EVERYONE IS GOOGLEABLE. That doesn't mean shit, my mom is googleable if you know her name. Almost everyone has a fucking facebook, tumblr, twitter; whatever. That means you can google them!

Half the musical/visual artists or otherwise creative people I know are women, but can I list them? Apparently not because the very popular streamer lady says they don't count?

Fuck that.

You also can't have rules like "Can be Streamers + Can be any version of their name" and then pair that with "BUT I HAVE TO BE ABLE TO FIND THEM ON GOOGLE!"

Nah man fuck that, because here's the other big thing, The version of their name I'm familiar with could be from back in the day, there's even a "can be dead women" rule. So what if I name a dead woman, by a name she used back when I knew of her; but that name isn't very well known? Well it doesn't count because it's not googleable uwu.

Fuck that.

You want me to name 100 women? Sure I'll happily name 100 women. You want me to name 100 women you can find on the internet? Sure that's fine.

...You want to limit it to exclusively the popular women? No.

Fuck that.

Limiting it to exclusively popular well known women is so lame, let me name the people who are important to me, the music artists who make the shit that connects with me; not just "Taylor swift" because she's "googleable" that shit doesn't matter to me, her music doesn't matter to me; she doesn't matter to me. You know who IS a woman who has had a big impact on my life? Tamika, the happy hardcore singer who likes to remain fairly anonymous and goes by Tamika for the sake of being credited in songs she sings for. She was responsible for the vocals in a ton of HH songs I heard at clubs growing up and her daughter Kayliana, another woman; has followed in her footsteps to bless my ears with even more lyrical goodness.

But of course if you look up either of them they're not googleable because they wish to remain somewhat secret, they're only ever credited by first names and asking the DJs they have worked with will get you an answer of "they would like to keep their identity vague" so what am I not supposed to highlight these two genuinely skilled individuals who have brought me years of great musical vocals?! Just because they're not Googleable?! I thought this was "Name 100 women" not "name 100 popular famous women" or whatever.

Fuck that.

Look I get it, you want to verify this shit; you don't want some guy going "uuuh martha, sandra, stacey, debra" whatever. I understand that, but also at what point does someone become a public figure?

Am I a public figure if you can look me up on google? Is that all it takes? My tumblr has a substantial following people know of me, do I count? (I guess not really since I'm NB and all but hopefully you see what I mean).

If I can list streamers, but not friends; does that mean my streamer friends don't count?

Fuck that.

How are we determining what "Googleable" means? Is it just front page? Is it just googling their name? What?

I could find more information for half the people on my list by looking through odd subreddits or deep-diving into tumblr posts, does that qualify?

You can't be like "lol men can't name 100 women" and then staple on 200 regulations.

I think it's totally fair to say things like, no repeats, no fictional women, no descriptions they need to be names.

Sure that's totally fine, that makes sense even. If I could repeat a woman 100 times that's not 100 women. If it's a fictional woman that's not a woman; if I could describe "the lady who ran the window at the Maccas" that's not NAMING a woman!

But I'm really hung up on this "no family, friends, etc." rule because it's bullshit. You can't ask me to name 100 women and then tell me I can't name any of the women I happen to know personally because you can't verify they're real.

Fuck that.

[northwest-cryptid]

[northwest-cryptid]

my absolute dipshit friend kevin was having a great time with his other pals, me and the boys totally pranked him by zooming out of the scene to show it’s actually playing on a television, revealing that he’s actually watching a video tape of the event while sitting alone in his bedroom with a bottle of whiskey, his reaction was priceless 🤣🤣🤣

#I am Kevin and the TV is just me watching Vtubers at 2 AM

[northwest-cryptid]

Horniness is not intrinsically less pure than any other human motivation

[northwest-cryptid]

this is unbearable. just a little while ago when the baby was born we were lamenting that refaat never got to meet his grandkid and now his grandkid, son in law, and daughter are dead too?! ايه القهر ده!

[northwest-cryptid]

I cant believe this tweet is how I find out

[northwest-cryptid]

"The Stoppables"

[northwest-cryptid]