#because they were just. so far removed from reality in a book that was trying SO HARD

[lenin-it-to-win-it]

nothing like going to the tumblr tag for a book you just read out of curiosity and finding the authors HARD CORE vent posts like Instantly 

#like sis.. maybe a sideblog? #i was very tempted to post about the book (and not tag it bc a lot of what i had to say was Not Nice lmao) #bc it was genuinely really interesting and i feel like the disability rep was like. COMEDIC levels of awful at some points #but it still seemed to come from a good place? and at least Acknowledged that there are complex conversations to be had #regarding disability accomodating the stigma around it etc #even if the conclusions it seemed to come to were all completely ass backwards #but honestly considering how fucking boring and samey most books with any pretense of disability rep are #the fact that it at least Tried and had some original ideas was something #but oh god were there DramaticTM scenes that had me laughing my goddamn ass off #because they were just. so far removed from reality in a book that was trying SO HARD #to be SO EARNEST and SO REAL with its representation #hm i guess i did talk about it after all oops #but no title or author!!! not unless youre gonna slide into my dms for the whole dish of dirt

[strangesthirdeye]

Late Night Potions ( Severus Snape x Wife! Reader)

Summary: There are times when they are safe but still remind them of bitter thing.

Warning: it's Severus Snape, he's always slay, soft Severus, love, fluff, sweet, Severus being a good husband, ooc Severus Snape? Cannot sleep.. Severus survived Battle of Hogwarts.

As usual, I'm sorry if there are any wrong sentences or typos or grammatical mistakes, please forgive me and again English is not my first language, so I try to improve my language and writing in this way.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

Another stir clockwise and one more peppermint, The calming draughts Severus made finally turned brown meaning it was ready. He grabbed the glass vial that was placed not far from where he was brewing and opened the lid of the vial and slowly he scooped the potion with a spoon then put it in the vial.

The clock showed 3 in the morning and Severus was still in his potion room in his own house which was a bit late for brewing something at that time but it was Severus of course he had time to brew something. Well, the reality is that he can't catch a wink of sleep directly, making him stare at the ceiling of the bedroom he and you share. While you were soundlessly sleeping, Severus decided to get out of bed without keeping you awake and decided to make some light potions to make himself tired so he could easily fall asleep.

But still, after the 3 potions he made and all the process of putting the three potions into the vial, he still couldn't catch his sleepiness and that made him frustrated.

The eye bags under his eyes are visible while his face is definitely tired but the strange thing is that he can't sleep even though his body language clearly shows that he needs to sleep.

He sighed tiredly then closed the glass vial and placed the potions on the other potions shelf according to the label. He rubbed his face trying to remove the fog from his eyes which indicated that he needed to sleep. He then swished his wand to carefully pack the potions tools on the table. And standby for the 4th brewing potions.

Severus then swished his wand towards the ingredient cabinet for the potion he wanted to make, which was the Blood Replenishing potion. All ingredients are floated and gently placed on the table. Severus then cleaned the standby cauldron and placed it on the bunsen burner. He then opened the bunsen burner with a small flame and cast Aguamenti into the cauldron and miraculously the cauldron was filled with water according to the prescribed measure.

While he waited for the water to heat for 5 minutes, he started flipping through his potions book to idly even though he was skilled and memorized all the potions he made, he still needed the potions book to be sure. Sometimes he will add some useful notes to the book so that when he teaches, he can teach students more efficiently.

After 5 minutes, he then reached the dew and was ready to be placed in the cauldron but stopped when he felt a hand hugging his abdomen from behind. He was stunned but then relieved when he found out it was you.

You who had just woken up from sleep after discovered that Severus was not in the bed hugged Severus' back tightly in a still sleepy state. Severus knew that you couldn't sleep without him because he knew that you still imagined him disappearing and never coming back after the terrible Battle of Hogwarts that happened a few months ago. Although Severus survived Nagini's attack and was put in St's Mungos for two months to recover from snake venom, you are still afraid that he will be gone.

Severus stiffened shoulders dropped then he leaned against your touch. Savoring the warm temperature from your body. He sighed tiredly. His hands that holding the potions ingredients were placed on the table and his fingers rubbed the back of your hand that wrapped around his abdomen. The flame of the Bunsen burner was extinguished by him.

"It's 3 am and you're brewing potions" you mumbled behind his shoulder.

"Just want to make myself tired so that I can sleep well" Severus said lowly in his deep tone.

"Nightmare?" You parted away from his shoulder and leaned the side of your head behind him.

"Incredulity" Severus sighed.

"Incredulity with what?" You questioned with perplexity.

"That we both survive that battle" Severus muttered.

You raised your head and instantly faced him. Your face looked up at his face. His tired eyes that clearly make you concerned with his state. You and him still have a traumatic experience from the battle, which makes you both uneasy when the matter is mentioned. It's lucky you both survived even though Severus had to be admitted to the hospital and you suffered several injuries that left scars that made you think how lucky you both were to survive the battle. It also means that you two are very strong to survive the battle.

You softened your look and reached Severus' sharp cheek and stroked it gently. Severus closed his eyes and leaned against your warm palm.

"I also wonder how we can survive that battle but that's the story line. We both survive with the hope that we both can be together. All the things we went through together before and after that battle are the main pillars of our strength. We survive because we know that we are need this 'life'." You replied softly, caressing Severus' cheek.

Severus let out a heavy sigh. "the things we went through, what if one of us didn't survive the battle? What if the battle was just a dream? What if I lost you?"

"stop it, Sev. Ignore those negative thoughts. We are both safe and alive. Voldermort and the Death Eater are gone. You don't need to be a double agent to know the plans of both parties. You are who you are now. We are both safe and sound without any obstacles . We have each other." you firmly said.

Severus leaned his forehead against yours with his eyes closed.

"What did I do to deserve you?" Severus whispered in a husky and deep tone that always made your knees tremble hearing that even though the two of you had been together for almost 6 years.

"You didn't do anything. It's me who came to you and saved you and you accept me as I am" you whispered back.

#severus snape x reader #severus snape angst #severus snape x wife!reader #severus snape #alan rickman #alan rickman x reader #severus snape x you #severus snape x y/n #harry potter #Spotify

[booksandwitchery]

Demystifying Energy in Witchcraft

Throughout my life I've heard the word "energy" used, viewed and treated in the spiritual sphere as some ethereal, supernatural force. I even saw a TikTok the other day claiming that secular and atheist witches do not believe in energy work. I'm not sure where this treatment of the term "energy" started, but it likely has a lot to do with some more "woo" practices like Reiki and crystal healing.

I think we need to remove this stigma from the term "energy" in the Craft because 1) energy is an objectively real, observable material and 2) the benefits of working with and understanding energy shouldn't be packaged and branded as a medium for the "mystics only" club. This was something really meaningful that I took from Psychic Witch, where Mat Auryn explains energy in more scientifically observable terms.

Rather than defining energy as a mystical force, he explains that reality is, in fact, entirely composed of energy. The majority of us don't really think about reality this way, but anyone who has taken a physics class can tell you that this is a fact. Reality is energy--this is not a mystical perspective; it is a fact of the laws of physics. The scientific method has shown us that even things that appear solid, (diamonds, skeletons, my coffee mug, for example) are merely energies vibrating at a slower rate. Everything is made of particles perpetually in motion.

Still with me? Okay, so--Auryn breaks this down further by stating that the five senses are just various ways that we perceive energy. So in a sense, we are achieving a rudimentary form of energy work just by perceiving the world around us. Put in this context, many other animals are superior to humans with certain types of energy work (I wonder if this is part of why animals are so sacred to us witches). Dolphins and bats can legitimately use echolocation to experience sound waves as a form of sight. Indeed, we humans are far from the top of the totem pole when it comes to energy perception--it's almost as if humans were not created to rule over the rest of the earth (such a crazy concept).

Some examples of energy that our bodies cannot perceive include magnetic fields, radiation, wireless signals, and ultraviolet light.

What I'm trying to say is that Auryn's book really helped me to think of energy in terms of empirical reality, and reinforced my (somewhat) recent realization that magick is a valid, observably effective tool that can be used to achieve the changes we want.

#paganism #witchcraft #witch #just witchy things #pagan #neopaganism #nature #witch vibes #witch community #witches of tumblr #witchblr #magick #magic #atheopaganism #naturalistic paganism #energy work #secular witchcraft #secular witch #sass witch #sass witchcraft

[bobaandasiandramas]

Find Rest for Your Soul

Y/n is found unconscious by Hoseok and rescue owner, Sejin. Y/n is a mysterious Omega with no real memories and is trying to understand the warnings in her head. What or who is after her?

Alpha, Beta, Omega x F. Reader

Pairing: OT7 X F.Reader

Rating: M+

Trigger warning : none

Chapter 6 | Chapter 7 | Chapter 8

Hoseok found her in the living room. It was early in the morning when the sun was still rising, a small sliver of it was peeking through the curtains. The omega was sitting on the floor with her back against the front of the couch, staring out at the coffee table. He approached her slowly, not wanting to startle her with any sudden noises, but the floor creaked quietly under his feet. The sound must have reached her ears because her head tilted as if trying to listen more closely. “Good morning.” He whispered the greeting.

The omega didn’t respond verbally but she turned to look at him with unfocused eyes. It looked like she was looking at something in front of him, or maybe through him - perhaps it was words of the books that she loved so much just floating around. Her breathing remained steady as if there was no change in her current state of mind.

“Are you okay?” He asked, unsure if she would snap back to him - to reality. He moved closer, still slow as he remembered that she did not always come back in the best state of mind, sometimes thrashing about. As he watched for any micro movements from her, he moved inch by inch until he was at arms length from her. “Would it be okay to sit with you?” He questioned but received no answer, not that he was expecting one. She was definitely too far gone in her head, and so he used the quiet moments to observe her.

The difference in her appearance from when he first saw her was astounding. The bruises that once decorated her small wrists had faded away. Namjoon had decided to remove the bracelet and kept it hidden for now until they could figure out if it was a tracking device or just a health monitor. Though he was sure if it was a tracker someone would have shown up by now. Her skin looked healthier, soft to the touch, and clean. Jimin had really helped with her hair, getting rid of all the knots and maintaining it well, even after the stitches were removed. He finally focused on her face. Her face was less sunken since putting on a little bit of much needed weight. The dark rings around her eyes were still there but significantly less. There was a sort of beauty that she carried even in her current health, he wondered just how lovely she would look once she was fully recovered.

Hoseok knew she had a hard time sleeping most nights, he could hear her pacing her room. He often wanted to go in and check on her, offer her some company but he also didn’t want to overstep any boundaries. The alpha knew that Yoongi wasn’t the biggest fan of the omega, but it was clear to see the quiet alpha was trying. The pack appreciated it and in return everyone has a certain time limit with the omega. Most of the time she was with Namjoon or Jimin and then it was decided the Jungkook was the omega that would spend the most time with her and help her adjust back into a pack setting.

Hoseok knew she wasn’t part of their pack, but she felt right with them. He felt like she was meant to be with them. He was a firm believer that everything happens for a reason. He just didn’t know what the reason was.

“I remember the darkness, it was always dark, except when they came in. The light would trickle through the door - a tease to something we couldn’t have. It wasn’t real, the light - it wasn’t the sun. I preferred the darkness because every time I saw that light I knew something terrible would happen.” Her voice was just below a whisper, more like she was talking to herself instead of him.

For a moment he thought she was quoting a book, but it wasn’t the same. She always had a certain look upon her face when she quoted, but this was different. He leaned a little closer, interested in the words that she was providing.

“What terrible things happened?” It was a risk to ask such a question knowing that every time someone tried to ask her about her memories, she would spiral into the nonsense of her mind. At first she didn’t say anything, instead her fingers twitched right before she slid her hand from her lap to her knees. Hoseok watched as she tried to clear the fog in her mind, her eyes would focus and unfocus at her fingers. He was patient and willing to wait, maybe she wouldn’t say anything else or maybe she would.

“It was crowded at times, others not so much. There was no real organization among us, just lumped together like sheep.” Her scent started to turn sour and thick, the mood felt heavy like a rain cloud, dark and filled with despair.

The tears welled on her lash line and spilled over quickly. The alpha in him reacted before his mind could, he reached out and wiped the tears away, guiding her to look at him. “Oh, little omega, I wish I could help you more.” He whispered to her as she looked through him as he let his hand drop.

“Protect the littles. That’s the best we can do. That’s what they always say. I’m scared. I’m so scared. I can only protect them for so long.”

The alpha in him cringed at her sadness and won over his mind wanting to make it better. He reached out for her, pulling her toward him into a hug. Her body shifted willingly with him, settling on his lap, knees of each side of his hips and he wrapped his arms around her center. He tucked his face into her shoulder, rubbing his nose gently against her shirt. He poured his calming scent around them, hoping it would ease some of her pain.

She hugged him back, her arms holding his head gently to her body, her fingers carding through his soft locks of hair. Her bottom lip quivered as her chest began to ache. Her whole body started to tremble as she tried to hold back the sobs that wanted to escape her throat. She suddenly wasn’t close enough, she hugged him tighter as the first sob cracked out. “I’m sorry!” She cried loudly. “We couldn’t protect you Alpha!”

Hoseok stiffened in her embrace, the sorrow that poured from her was breaking his heart and he gripped her tighter. It was suffocating, a sadness he hadn’t felt in such a long time. He could feel it absorbing into his skin, twisting his own emotions to match hers. It was too much but he couldn’t bear to know she carried this all alone.

“I tried. I promise, I tried. I’m so sorry. Please, please…” The pleas that fell from her mouth were desperate and aching.

The sound of her cries had alerted the others in the house. The pounding of several pairs of feet coming down the stairs could be heard. Namjoon and Yoongi were the first to arrive, each sliding on their feet in the arched doorway. Hoseok could sense the other two alphas standing there and peeked over her shoulder at them. He shook his head, letting them know to not approach them.

Her cries and whimpers carried on as she begged for a forgiveness to something that Hoseok only expected was the start of her losing her mind. “I’m sorry Alpha, please forgive me.” Her voice was losing its volume as she crumbled into him, her face ducked into his neck as she sobbed heavily, her tears dripping onto his skin.

“Shh, it’s okay. We have you now, you hear me?” He asked gently as he rubbed her back slowly.

“Hey, can you hear me?”

The words ran in circles around her head, her cries stopping immediately but her body jumped with small hiccups of sadness. This wasn’t her alpha, her alpha was gone. Gone, gone, gone. She let go of the body she was holding and sat back to look at the face that belonged to it. Her eyes focused slowly as she watched him study her.

Hoseok called her name gently as he cupped her face in his hands, wiping the tears that stained her cheeks. “Are you back with me?” His eyes flickered back and forth between her eyes, searching for her in the depths of her irises.

She reached her hand up to place over one of his. “I’m back, I’m sorry.”

“Nonsense, don’t be sorry. I’m here for you,” He looked past her shoulder which caused her to look back as well. The entire pack was there watching them. “we are all here for you.”

*******

It was hard to get her to eat breakfast that morning. Her eyes would cloud over and get lost in her thoughts. Jimin stayed with her at the table while holding her hand and trying to

encourage her to eat, pressing small pieces of fruit to her lips, praising her gently each time she did take a piece into her mouth.

Everyone else tried to go about their business while Namjoon and Hoseok spoke about what had happened. Yoongi had pushed the others out of the room, pressing a kiss to Taehyung’s lips and the omega pouted.

Namjoon and Hoseok decided that since new memories seemed to have arrived and gone mostly well with Hoseok near her that he would spend most of the day with her, much to Jimin’s disappointment. They also figured that maybe it would be best to not try and snap her back to reality, unless things got bad.

Nothing had seemed to come to her mind since that morning, at least nothing that she voiced to Hoseok. Instead she just reached out her hand to hold his, especially as her mind started to wander, as if she needed him to anchor her so she wouldn’t float too far away. Hoseok watched her closer than he ever watched her before, if there was even a micro movement from her, he caught it.

At the current moment they were sitting on the back porch where she normally made flower crowns, she was humming a tune - nothing that Hoseok recognized. It was sad and slow, filled with dread and despair as she pulled her arms to wrap around her middle and curled into a small ball. The sight alone made Hoseok upset, he wanted to cheer her up but knew he needed to let her feel her feelings today and hopefully they would learn more about her. The waiting was torcher to him and her scent filled with agony was more so.

She turned her attention to him and looked him over with sad eyes. “...if you’ve been up all night and cried till you have no more tears left in you - you will know that there comes in the end a sort of quietness. You feel as if nothing is ever going to happen again.”

There it was again, that particular look she got when she was quoting a book. Hoseok gave a sad smile and offered his hand again for the hundredth time today. He watched her look at the hand before grabbing it gently and letting him pull her closer. Slowly he moved her wrist to his nose, he placed a soft but quick kiss to the skin there before his alpha side decided to scent her, his nose skimming the skin lightly as he pulled her closer.

Her eyes widened as she snapped back to reality, the fogginess of Narnia and the Pevensie siblings faded from her mind. Instead there was a warmth that filled her, something she had missed for so long. She couldn’t help the happy little chirp that passed her lips.

Hoseok froze, eyes snapping open - realizing what he did and dropped her hand immediately. She wasn’t his to scent, to mark - to do anything with. Just as he was about to apologize, she whined instead.

“Alpha, I’m so sorry.” She scooted back from him, head dropped to look at the ground - her seconds of happiness banished to the far depths of her mind.

That wasn’t what he wanted to happen. The alpha moved closer, refraining from touching her. “Why are you sorry? I should be apologizing to you. I shouldn’t have done that. You’re not mine to claim.”

She shook her head and moved back more. His words, while true, still stung her heart and she felt it tighten up, preparing for a new crack to form. “Do- do you not want me?”

Hoseok could feel his own heart crack. “Oh, Sunflower, how could I not want you to be mine?” He questioned and she paused, her head tilting a little to look up at him with her doe eyes. “It’s just wrong of me to do that without asking, you are not a part of our pack. You might have your own pack-”

“Sunflower?” She tested the nickname on her tongue, loving it immediately. So much in fact she stopped listening to him as soon as the syllables passed his lips.

Hoseok however panicked. “Sorry, it slipped. If you hate it-”

She smiled at him, shining brighter than she did in days. “I love it.” She whispered and moved closer to him this time, reaching out for his hands. They stayed silent for a moment as she looked over his hands in hers. She traced the love line in his palm and dragged her fingertips over his long fingers before her smile slipped away slowly. The omega looked up at him with utter seriousness. “Hoseok…” She bit her lip, gathering the courage to say the next words out loud. “I don’t have a pack anymore. Alpha is -” her bottom lip wobbled with emotion. She didn’t want to say it, she didn’t want it to be real. If she kept it to herself, then she could pretend and things could be a little better.

Lies. Lies. Lies. “Alpha is - is…. He’s dead!” She finally spat out before she clamped her eyes shut tightly, her hands dropped his and fell at her sides curled into fists. It felt like hours passed, her heart pounding so furiously in her chest that she could hear it in her ears.

“I’m sorry about your alpha.” Hoseok spoke as his hand touched her clenched fist. He watched her eyes crack open and she looked at him, truly looked at him.

“We tried to protect him.”

“I bet you did. I can tell. You loved your alpha.”

“With my whole heart.” She whispered.

“I’m sorry Sunflower.” He whispered back as he pulled her into a hug. Her body curled into his, he could feel the weight that she carried and held it for her.

****

Hoseok wasn’t sure how long they stayed out on the porch, but she sat in his lap and looked out at the fields behind the house while she kept her back pressed to his chest. He ran his fingers across her skin, healing touches as he poured his comforting scent around them. By the time Namjoon came to check on them, she was sleepily nuzzling under his chin and whining about not wanting to go inside.

Hoseok chuckled and carried her into the house, bringing her straight to his room to wash up before food. He sat her on the counter of his sink and grabbed a washcloth, wetting it and wiping it slowly over her face and neck. He chuckled as she whined and grumbled at him. “Would you like to get changed?” He asked her as he moved to run the washcloth over her hands. This was the most he has ever seen her act like a true omega and couldn’t help the smile that appeared on his face as he looked at her.

“Mmm’kay.” She nodded her head.

“What do you want me to grab for you?” He asked, brushing a strand of her hair behind her ear with one hand while he threw the washcloth into the sink basin.

The omega gripped the front of his shirt and didn’t let him step away. “Can I borrow your hoodie? The blue colorful one that is really soft.” Her cheeks were flushed as she rolled the fabric of his shirt between her fingers.

“You want to wear my clothes?” His heart rate jumped with excitement.

“Is that okay?” She whispered.

“Absolutely, hold on.” He left her for just a moment and went to his closest to locate the requested article of clothing. The pullover was soft in his hands and he brought it to his face to scent slightly for her. He returned to the bathroom, she was no longer sitting on the counter, her shirt off but bra still on staring at her own reflection. He stood in the doorway for a moment and watched her touch her cheeks before moving down to her collar bones. There was disgust and loathing in her eyes. She twisted her body left and right, looking over the person who stared at her in the mirror. He knocked on the door and she spun quickly on her heel to look at him.

The omega looked at the hoodie he held out to her and she took it quickly, slipping it over her head. She closed her eyes in slight bliss as the softness of the fabric wrapped around her. After a brief moment she opened her eyes and stared at the male before her. He looked concerned and she sighed before gazing back at the mirror. The words popped up around her head and her mouth began to move. “I can’t remember what it’s like to face a mirror, And not hate the person staring back at me.”

The male blinked at her. “A quote?” He wasn’t sure, he watched her eyes dance around as if she was reading words but the way she said it was also as if she was telling him how she felt.

“Yes, but also the truth.” She stepped closer to him, wrapping her arms around him. “I don’t know her, she doesn’t look right. She’s similar - but she’s not me.”

****

Namjoon wasn’t exactly pleased with Hoseok, he could smell him all over the omega. Scenting her wasn’t part of the plan at all. Though he couldn’t say the results were terrible. The omega seemed happy, hovering in the doorway of omega space. He looked her over as she sat at the table, waiting for the food to be served.

“She’s sad.” Hoseok stated, whispering low enough that she couldn't hear. “Her alpha is dead. She knows she no longer has a pack.”

Namjoon frowned and looked over to the other alpha. “We figured as much, but now at least it is confirmed.” He continued to put food on the plate for the omega as Hoseok grabbed a glass to pour her some juice.

“She asked me if I didn’t want her.”

Namjoon’s head whipped toward Hoseok. “How did that-”

“I accidentally scented her, lost in trying to comfort her and I apologized for it. She looked so broken down after I apologized and she just asked. I couldn’t tell her no, because that would be a lie in itself.” Hoseok looked up from the kitchen counter to catch her just turning her head to look back at them. He couldn’t help but return the smile that was on her face. “She’s lonely, Joon. I wonder if she became pack, officially, if it would help with her healing process.”

“We need to tread carefully with that subject. It’s a serious conversation to have with the entire pack.” Namjoon looked up at her as well, catching her attention and smiling back at her as well. “And what if it’s something she doesn’t want?”

Hoseok looked at her, studying the way she looked so small in his hoodie - but it felt right. “She can make up her own mind on that when we address the topic and whatever she decides we all need to be okay with.” He grabbed the glass from the counter and walked away from Namjoon and toward the table. “Here’s your juice, Sunflower.”

Namjoon could see the connection between Hoseok and her. It warmed his heart but he hoped this was the right thing - he would hate for anyone to end up heart broken. He followed in Hoseok’s steps, bringing her plate to her. “I hope you’re hungry Darlin. Jin made this especially for you.”

She smiled at him and accepted the plate from his hands. “I bet it’s delicious.”

****

I sat at the table with the two alphas. The food was delicious like I knew it would be. I couldn’t help the way I was drawn to Hoseok today, in fact I was already feeling a sadness over me because he was sitting too far away. I reached out with my hand for his and was happy when I felt him take my hand in his. I didn’t care to listen to what the two of them were talking about. I was content with this. I missed the feeling that Hoseok was providing. Maybe I was being selfish but I craved this so much.

As I finished my meal, the doctor took my plate and cleared the table. Hoseok offered to bring me to my room but I wasn’t ready to go yet. “Can we wait for Namjoon?” I asked quietly.

“Hoseok smiled at me. “You want him to join us, Sunflower?”

The nickname warms my entire body, starting from my chest and spreading all the way down to my toes and fingertips. “Yes, if he wishes to join us that is.”

“Why don’t you go and ask him?”

I nodded my head and let his hand slip from mine as I walked toward the kitchen to where the good doctor was cleaning up the dishes. I stood in the doorway just watching him for a moment as I thought about him and how he has helped me so much. I know he wants me to remember ‘The Before’ but I’ve tried and anytime I do I get scared. Sometimes I push through but then I get lost in the darkness. Hoseok is a good light, he gives me a path to follow to return safely.

I want to be close to everyone, and I know I have my own little habits with them all, a piece of me is comfortable with them all to a certain extent. Like a routine ingrained in my brain I know I have certain things I can do with them, holding Hoseok’s hands, making pretty flower crowns with Jungkook, cuddling with Jimin and touching Namjoon’s hands and face. I think I feel the most drawn to Hoseok, Jimin and Namjoon, they were the first ones I met. I’m most guarded with Yoongi, but not in a bad way - I don’t want to push him and make him uncomfortable. I limit myself for his own comfort.

“...darlin?” Namjoon’s voice breaks me from my thoughts.

I notice that he is no longer in front of the sink but now in front of me, hand reaching out to touch my arm but as I look down at his hand he drops it away. “Sorry, I was lost in thoughts.”

“Anything good?” Namjoon asked, I know he wasn’t expecting a real answer, most of the time they don’t. I can feel it anytime they ever ask me.

“I think so, it was about all of you.”

That caught his attention. “Oh, do you wish to share or keep those to yourself?”

I thought about it for a moment. “I could share. It’s nothing bad.”

“You don’t have to, ignore my curiosity.”

“I was thinking about the different levels of comfort I have with you all.” I could see a frown starting on his face. “Not in a bad way, For example,” I stepped closer to him and raised my hands to cup his face in my hands, I tapped my fingers gently on the skin of his cheeks. “This isn’t something I wouldn’t feel comfortable doing with Yoongi. My comfort with him isn’t touching…” I let my mind collect thoughts as I trailed my hands down the front of Namjoon’s chest. “It’s more of a verbal comfort with him. I feel at ease with his words because I know he’s speaking the truth when he talks to me.”

Namjoon grabs my wrists with his hands gently, stopping my wandering hands. “Is that so?”

“It’s true.”

“Then do tell, what about Jimin?”

I was startled. “Jimin?” I looked away from Namjoon’s eyes, he had a knowing look that I couldn’t stare at anymore.

“Yes, Jimin.”

“I feel the most with Jimin. Close and safe.” I blushed and hid my face in Namjoon’s chest. “Not to say I don’t feel safe with everyone else but with Jimin…” I trailed off as my heart rate increased thinking about the other Alpha.

Namjoon chuckled gently. “And what about Hoseok?”

A whimper fell from my mouth. “I-I…”

“It’s okay Darlin’. You’re getting to know all of us. I’m glad you feel safe with us because we will all protect you. Bonds are just sometimes stronger than others, it’s okay - that happens.” He let go of my wrist and suddenly fingers were under my chin guiding me to look back at him again. “Don’t be embarrassed.”

I nodded my head and lost my thoughts again. “Oh!” I breathed as soon as I remembered what I was supposed to be doing. “Would you like to join Hoseok and I?”

“What will you two be doing?” He asked as he released my face.

“I was going to sit with him on the back porch, he said he was going to listen to some music.”

Namjoon looked down at me with raised brows and a grin curled on his mouth. “Darlin’, that sounds wonderful. Are you sure you want me to join you both? I feel like Hoseok and you had such a good day together. I don't want to intrude.”

“It was my idea.” I whispered.

“Then I would love to join you both.” He slipped his hand into mine and led me back to Hoseok, who was waiting in the archway of the dining room for us.

Hoseok smiled brightly at us. “Ready to relax and watch the stars?”

*****

The temperature had dropped a little bit, but I didn't mind much. Not when the two alphas offered their warmth. I was sitting in Namjoon's lap this time, my back against his chest as I leaned into him. The alpha was hesitant about it, but I insisted that it wasn't too much for me. Hoseok’s head was resting in my lap and I looked down at him as my fingers played with his hair.

The music was playing softly, instrumental and soothing. Namjoon thought it might help me stay relaxed while I let my mind wander.

The look on his face said it all. I was to stay put. I hated it. So very much that I stomped my foot in defiance as I stared at him.

“Pup, I don't have time for this.” He grumbled.

“Not a pup anymore.” I argued.

He took two steps forward and closed the distance between us. “You’ll always be a pup to me. Now be good. Listen. Stay. Protect the little ones. I’ll be back from the hunt soon.” He leaned down and pressed a kiss to my lips.

I returned it and grabbed onto him, hoping that he wouldn't leave. The kiss however broke and he wiggled from my hold as he went to the beta, kissing them deeply.

“Love you, keep watch.” Alpha looked back at me and smiled before stepping out.

The memory was short and sweet but it was enough to have tears rolling down my face and onto Hoseok’s cheek. I felt my bottom lip tremble with emotion and I tried to stop it by biting into my lip.

“It’s okay Darlin’, let it out. We got you.” Namjoon’s voice whispered in my ear, his breath tickling the skin there. I felt his arms tighten around my waist and I sank deeper into his hold. I tilted my head to tuck into his neck.

Hoseok was moving as well, off my lap and sitting close, grabbing my hands into his. “Talk to me, Sunflower.”

I sucked in a shaky breath and tried not to whine. “I-it was just…” I let out a small sob. “- just a memory.” My fingers tightened my hold on Hoseok’s hand, afraid that he would let go.

“Easy Omega, I’m not going anywhere.” Hoseok stated as he squeezed my hands twice. I relaxed my hands a little, loosening my grip on him. It didn’t seem like he wanted to leave me but neither did my Alpha and look what happened to him.

“Do you want to talk about it?” Namjoon asked, mumbling softly in my hair.

‘No!’ My mind was screaming. I didn’t want to think about it. I didn’t want to remember it. I wanted to pretend and pretend. “It was about my Alpha.” I took my time, thinking of my words carefully. The sound of the music started to relax me again.

Hoseok lifted my hands to his face, nuzzling them with his nose before pressing gentle kisses to both of them. “It’s okay. You don’t have to force yourself.”

I almost sobbed from the comment alone. He could read me so easily. As much as I didn’t want to talk about it, or remember it - I knew I needed to. Maybe deep down I really just wanted to but I was scared. “He was going on a hunt - I was mad at him because he was making me stay home. Protect the little ones - it was what he told us to do.”

“Why were you mad that you had to stay home?” Namjoon asked.

“I was usually allowed to go with him and the others - not to hunt but just to be nearby. The energy everyone had after a hunt was always so exciting. I loved being with them when they celebrated - but for some reason Alpha told me I had to stay behind.” I looked at the stars while talking, I didn’t want to see their reactions. “I’m pretty sure that was the last time I saw Alpha during ‘The Before’.”

I could feel both of them tense at my words. “I don’t have good feelings about it. I think, and maybe I’m still missing memories, the next time I saw Alpha was when they dragged him from the other cell.”

“The other cell?” Hoseok questioned.

It was weird, I didn’t recall the cells before now. I brought it up like a known fact and it was startling. I could see it clearly now. Whenever the door opened, the light would flood in and the room was divided by two cells. Almost like a holding cell you would see in a movie for a jail. “There were two cells. They separated us. Why? It’s not like it would matter if we were together…” I could feel my mind wandering again. It didn’t make sense. They had the others first, they were all in the one cell together and then when we arrived we were put in the other cell. I frowned. “How did I get there?”

***

The two alphas looked at each other and then the Omega in front of them. She was in her own thoughts again, but she was still talking out loud. Every few moments a new question would pass her lips and they hoped for answers along with them, but of course no answers were concluded. Except for one. “I woke up already there.”

Then she was quiet. Staring at the stars while silent tears rolled down her face. She eventually closed her eyes and fell asleep in the doctor’s arms, still holding the other alpha’s hands.

Hoseok almost smiled at the fact that she was still holding his hands, feeling a little happier than he probably should that she felt as comfortable with him as she did. “I don’t think I ever want to let her go.” He spoke quietly.

Namjoon cracked open an eye and looked at the other Alpha. “I know Hoseok. I don’t think she wants to let go either.” He frowned. “Hoseok…” He trailed off as he looked down at the omega.

Hoseok looked up at him. “Hmm?”

“Did I make a mistake bringing her home?” He frowned as tightened his hold on the omega. “I told myself that we would help her and that I wouldn’t get attached. I’m not… at least not completely. I feel for her, and as her doctor I care about her state of mind. I see you’re attached, I know Jungkook and Jimin are too. I can’t help but feel this will eventually blow up in my face.”

Hoseok dropped one of the omega’s hands and reached forward, caressing the other Alpha’s cheek softly before bringing himself closer to place a gentle kiss on his lips. “Joon, we are doing our best here. You’re doing amazing - you make the decisions that you feel are best for our pack. I stand by you with all your choices. This wasn’t a mistake. Don’t doubt it.” He whispered against the other’s lips before kissing him again.

Namjoon sighed as they parted. “Thank you.” he replied with a breathy voice.

*****

They stayed outside for another twenty minutes before Namjoon swooped the omega in his arms and carried her to her room. He sent Hoseok to go take care of the other Omegas while he got her settled. He placed her on her bed, pulling the covers over her and making sure she was covered up. He smiled as she curled onto her side and mumbled something before nuzzling into her pillow, dragging the covers to just under her chin.

The alpha leaned down and pressed his nose to her hair, not yet a kiss but a sort of affection nuzzle. As he was leaning back to straighten up a scent caught his nose. A very familiar scent. The alpha couldn’t help himself as he leaned down more toward the omega’s face and sniffed gently. It wasn’t her. He moved a little lower and stopped as he caught another whiff of it. ‘Yoongi?’ He thought to himself and dragged his nose toward the blanket just under her chin.

The scent was unmistakable. It was Yoongi. The scent dulled but not by years, by a week or so. The alpha couldn’t stop the smile that graced his lips. Yes Yoongi could be cold and over protective with the family but did he have a heart of gold deep down inside. While Yoongi might have not agreed with the Omega coming here, it was obvious he was trying in front of everyone but to see him trying away from everyone’s eyes? Now that was a victory in its own book.

Namjoon walked down to the pack room, standing in the doorway he watched as everyone was snuggling under the covers, shifting against each other to slip into blissful sleep. He found Yoongi at the outer edge of the nest, eyes closed but obviously not sleeping yet. Joon crossed the room quietly and nudged Yoongi gently.

The alpha cracked his eye open and lifted the blanket to invite Joon in. Once the other alpha was comfortable, Yoongi closed his eyes and sighed in content. Hands on his face almost made his eyes snap open, but then there were lips slotted perfectly against his and he groaned against the lips instead. Legs tangled, hands grabbing at each other, trying to get impossibly closer. Lips parted and breathless gasps escaped him as lips trailed down his neck, licking and biting sensually.

“I love you, Yoongi.” The words were whispered in his ears.

“Hmm, love you too Joon.”

“Thank you. I know you’ve been trying and I’m thankful for that and you.”

Yoongi looked at Joon, but the latter had his eyes closed - trying to drift off to dreamland. “Of course, Joonie. Anything for the pack.”

#Bts #ot7 x reader #namjoon x reader #jimin x reader #jungkook x reader #yoongi x reader #jin x reader #taehyung x reader #hoseok x reader #find rest for your soul

[synergysilhouette]

Making Netflix's ATLA an AU instead of a strict remake: some changes I'd make to Book 1

It's my personal opinion that since ATLA was great as-is, it didn't need a remake (even if it is underrated). But if Netflix was gonna make one anyway, I'd prefer they made it an AU and make significant changes without marketing this as "this is exactly like the show you enjoyed as kids/teens." (Note: Possibly controversial changes below)

Sexism against male waterbenders because of Kuruk--Due to what is viewed as a "failure" on Kuruk's part to properly manage his duties as avatar and his spiritual corruption, male waterbenders are believed to lack the necessarily gentleness and spirituality in order to bend properly, with combat or healing. Given how Harun was removed (at least from season 1), he could've been rewritten as a waterbender here, with Pakku as his uncle, who still holds onto tradition, even if it holds him back. He's still knowledgeable and teaches Katara and Aang, but does so in secret, with Katara inspiring Harun to learn as well. Eventually when he's found out, he and Harun are banished from the tribe (because beliefs can't be changed in a day or two).

More focus on the Water Tribe--The idea is supposed to be that waterbenders were wiped out, but I do like the idea that we still explore aspects of Water Tribe culture, as well as making the territory larger. Given the fact that most of book 1 takes place in different regions and the Netflix remake kinda condensed things, I do want more episodes to take place in WT territory. Kyoshi Island for example is an EK territory, but is also close to the Southern Air Temple and the Southern Water Tribe, so their culture could be shown as more mixed, maybe even with some hidden waterbenders there. Another (albeit controversial) idea could be introducing Bumi in book 2 before introducing Toph, given that Omashu and Gaoling aren't super far from Each other. We could also introduce Hama here to share more of the SWT culture and introduce the concept of bloodbending much earlier so it's a conflict for Katara throughout the whole series. Perhaps maybe even adapt "The Swamp" episode in this season, since I'm not entirely sure it'll be made in the next season.

Ozai's psychology is explored more--In both the OG show and the remake, he's presented as the pinnacle of evil at a first glance, but that's not completely true. Just like everyone else, he's complex, with his evil being brought about by his upbringing. He isn't trying to rule just because; he truly sees it as his divine right, which makes his persuasiveness that much more powerful. He isn't quite as aggressive and relies more on his manipulation and charisma. As such, he's good and making people fear him, love him, and second-guess themselves. The remake had Zhao and Azula take him for a joke, tbh. I'd also make him more acrobatic and agile like Azula rather than just a hard-hitter, and he essentially tells Zuko the half-truth of Ursa's banishment, making it seemed like she killed Azulon and was planning on killing Ozai and Iroh next so that she could have the throne. In reality, Azulon died of natural causes, but Ozai made it appear as though he was murdered in order to frame Ursa. When she confronted him, he banished her and told her to stay gone in order to stop influencing their children. In fact, keeping with her storyline in the comics, Ursa does change her appearance, and Zuko meets with her several times throughout the series (removing the amnesia stuff here).

Lu Ten is alive (for a while)--Something I'd enjoy seeing for a minute would be evil Iroh. Let's say Ozai managed to best him in an agni kai for the throne (inspiring Zuko to do this to Azula later on), and Iroh volunteers to go with Zuko on his journey with the hopes of turning him against his father. With time, he develops affection for his nephew and becomes a better father than Ozai was. He believes Lu Ten won't be a threat to Ozai since he now has the throne, but Ozai sends him to help with the Siege of Ba Sing Se, where he ultimately loses his life. This puts Iroh at the crossroads of destiny like Zuko, but he chooses to defend Team Avatar instead. During his imprisonment in the Fire Nation, Iroh tries to calm the turmoil in Zuko's heart, which confuses Zuko due to Iroh's previous speeches and proverbs about power and triumph over his enemies. And I'd also make a rather odd change: both Lu Ten and Iroh are skilled in chi blocking. I definitely feel like Iroh would be well-versed in the art and teach it to his son.

More emphasis on Avatar Roku and Sozin's friendship. Seeing how Roku is Aang's past life and his friendship with Sozin was part of what led to the Hundred Year War, it should definitely take more precedence outside of book 3.

Iroh is Aang's first firebending teacher--This is super weird, I know, but if we're not gonna have Jeong Jeong, I like the idea that while evil (at first), Iroh is still super wise, and does give Aang a few tips on firebending, which he tries on his own, but lacking guidance he burns Katara (or Sokka; it'd feed into his insecurities as a non-bender if he gets hurt and Katara heals him).

Sokka/Zuko and Katara/Azula rivalry--I remember a video once explaining how Sokka and Katara are parallels of Zuko and Azula, given that their mom was gone at an early age and their father influenced them greatly. The big brother wants his father's love and is insecure, while the little sister seems more powerful and has issues regarding her mom. The big difference is that Ozai was a manipulative father while Hakoda was compassionate. Zuko wouldn't take Sokka seriously at first since he's a non-bender, highlighting Sokka's concern of being useless, and his growth would make Zuko feel more insecure in turn. Eventually when Zuko joins the team, they often work together. Azula is rational and a prodigy while Katara is emotional and still learning, but Katara gains confidence while Azula loses it. Just like Zuko, Katara sees it as her mission to stop Azula and sees the pain she goes through. I would also gives Azula a bit more frustrated moments to highlight her youth; a lot of people say she's beyond redemption despite only being 14 and the victim of growing up in an emotionally abusive household.

#avatar #atla #netflix #avatar the last airbender #aang #zuko #iroh #katara #azula #ozai #sokka

[seaoflove07]

Love Planted a Rose 🌹

~ Dark ~

• Artwork by The Drawables •

Full Art Cover and Story Description, Here.

OCXCanon. 🔪 Azusa & Christine’s Story. 🌹

Fan Fiction Written by Me.

Fandom: Diabolik Lovers.

- Thursday Night -

Ruki gave Christine an hour break. She took a few snacks from the kitchen, then went to her room to grab her journal quickly and headed outside to the Rose Garden. She doesn't write in her journal every day, only when she is lost in her thoughts and needs to get her feelings out. Once she arrived at the rose garden, she felt a bit relaxed. She needed the summer night fresh air. Christine always prefers the outdoors, especially in the summer. Being surrounded by nature, looking at the beautiful stars and the scent of the roses from the garden calms her.

She sat down on the grass and took out her journal, a blue pen, and a small book lamp from her bag. She began to write.

Dear Journal:

I made it to Japan. That was such a long flight from the United States. It's been six days since I've been staying with the Mukami brothers. Turns out all four of them are VAMPIRES! This was supposed to be a good opportunity for me, but it ended up being my nightmares becoming a reality. I stopped having those nightmares when I arrived in Japan. One of the brothers is Lavender Eyes. Azusa. That's his name. I don't understand him at all and he's the one I'm afraid of the most since he doesn't leave me alone. After Monday night, I've been avoiding him. He's dangerous, he cut me with rose thorns, he burned my mouth with all the spice that he put in that sandwich he made me try because he wanted me to feel pain, and on top of that he drank my blood whenever he pleased. Thankfully, I have managed to avoid him these days. Tonight when we were all at the kitchen table I didn't make eye contact with him and I didn't talk to him either. Though I have felt his gaze on me the entire time. But I'm glad he hasn't come looking for me these few days. I hope he gets that I'm not interested in him and his brothers. Tomorrow night, I'm gonna meet six more vampires. I still haven't come up with a good plan to escape, and my cell phone signal is still not working, I haven't been able to call my parents. Both of them must be worried sick not knowing anything from me at all since Friday. The last time I talked to them was when I arrived at the airport to let them know that I made it safe. I feel so lonely and homesick, and I miss my family so much. I've never been away from them. I've been lucky so far that the other brothers haven't sucked my blood, and I hope they never do. I feel hopeless and scared for my life.

- Christine hears footsteps -

Azusa: “Christine-san… I found you…”

Christine: “How did you know I was here?”

Azusa: “I can find you… anywhere easily… because of your scent…”

Christine: “Oh…”

(I forgot vampires have a strong sense of smell…)

- Azusa sits next to her -

Azusa: “You look sad… Christine-san…”

He cups her cheek.

“You can hit me… it will make you… feel better…”

She removes his hand from her cheek and stands up.

Christine: “Azusa, don't start with this… I'm leaving now…”

Azusa: “Wait…! I just want to be useful… to you… Ruki didn’t let me… see you these few days… I was getting anxious… because I wanted… to spend time with you…”

Christine: (No wonder he didn’t come looking for me these past two days…)

“Well, hitting you is not gonna make me feel better.”

(Why he is looking at me with sad eyes? And why am I feeling bad for him?…)

“Azusa, I remember on Monday you told me in the kitchen that you want to get to know me. Why don't we talk for a bit?”

Azusa: “Yes… I would love that…”

She sat back down.

Christine: (… I don't know what to say to him. So I'll just ask him a random question…)

“Are you enjoying your summer break so far?”

Azusa: “I don't like… the heat weather… so I spend most of my time… in my bedroom…”

Christine: “I love summer, it's my favorite season. You get to do so many fun things. Do you have any fun hobbies you like to do, Azusa?”

He smiles.

Azusa: “Yes… I would like to... show you...”

He stands up.

Christine: “Show me what?“

Azusa: “My precious treasure...”

He Extends his hand.

“Come with me... please...?”

Christine: … …

She hesitates.

Christine: (I don't want to go anywhere with him, but I know very well he won't accept a no for an answer, and I need to survive, so I have no choice but to obey…)

“Ok, Azusa. I'll go with you.”

She takes his hand and stands up.

Azusa smiles brightly, and he leads her to his room.

*TimeSkip*

Azusa: “This is my Bedroom… and over here is my treasure...”

He shows her the shelf near his bed with all his knife collection.

Christine: (Wow! His collection looks nice and well-organized…)

“You have a nice collection, I like it. Especially the ones with the jewels on them. When did you started collecting knives?”

Azusa: “A very… long time ago… polishing them… is my favorite hobby… I’m happy that you like them…”

Christine: “I do, and I like that you have them nicely organized… Anyway, thank you for showing me your collection, I'll take my leave now.”

Azusa: “Eh...? Already...? Why…?”

Christine: “Well you did say you were just showing me your collection and I saw it. So… there’s no other reason for me to be here and my break is over so I have to get back to work.”

Azusa: “I see...”

... ...

“Say, Christine do you... hate me...?”

Christine: “Huh? No… I don’t hate you, why do you think that?”

Azusa: “You keep... avoiding me… and trying to push me away... Is it... because… I'm a vampire...?”

Christine: (So he did notice…)

“I don't hate you. I am sorry if it came off like that. But I do admit, I am afraid of you...”

He moves closer to her.

Azusa: “There is no reason… to be afraid… of me… … Rose-san... I just want…to spend time with you…”

Christine: “Rose? Why are you calling me, “Rose”? When my name is Christine.”

He runs his fingers through her hair and strokes it. While caressing her arm with his other hand.

Azusa: “Your scent… is so good… like roses from the garden… and your skin… is so soft… like rose petals… you remind me of a beautiful red rose… The name suits you…”

She blushes.

Christine: “I do wear a rose perfume every day. I have to admit, I like the nickname...”

He smiles.

Azusa: “So nice... my own... little rose... I want you… near me… even if you end up… hating me… I will still want you… by my side…”

He Inhales the scent of her hair.

“Haah... Rose…”

He pulls out a knife from his pocket.

“Here… Cut me…”

Christine: “What!? I would not do that.”

He caresses her chin.

Azusa: “Please… Rose… I beg you… cut me with this knife… I want you to give me pain… and to mess me up...”

Christine: “A-Azusa… I can't, please don't ask me this again. I don't want to hurt you.”

He forces her to hold the knife.

Christine: “No! I don’t want to do this. Why do you want to feel pain?”

Azusa: “Because… physical pain allows me… to forget… the emotional ones…”

Christine: (Her heart aches at his words…)

“Azusa… there are other ways to help with emotional pain, I can help you...”

Azusa: “You can help me like this…”

He forced her hand to hold the knife tight and stabbed his arm.

“Haah…”

Christine: “Oh my gosh, Azusa! Are you okay!?”

(He’s lost in thought looking at his cut. Oh my goodness! Exactly like the nightmares I had before I came here! Her heart starts racing!!..)

Azusa: “Fufu… It’s lovely… this new wound… Justin is happy, he has a new friend… fufu... I may have to find… a name for it…”

Christine: “You are bleeding a lot! I'm gonna go get one of your brothers for help.”

She turned around and started walking towards the door but Azusa appeared in front of her. He lifted her up and pinned her down on his bed. Staring at her brown eyes.

Azusa: “Rose… please… Don't leave me alone… my arm will be fine…”

Christine: (A faint blush appeared on his cheeks, I can hear my heart beating. I can't stop staring back at him…)

Azusa: “Rose… can I suck your blood…?”

- Christine caressed his cheek -

Azusa: “Eh…?”

Christine: “I'm sorry…”

Removing her hand.

- Azusa grabbed her hand and placed it back on his cheek -

Azusa: “Nobody has ever… touched my cheek like this… It feels nice… please touch me more…”

Christine: “Really…?”

He nods.

Azusa: “Rose… I have become… addicted to you… so much… that sometimes… I don't know what to do with myself…”

Christine: “B-But… you just met me.”

Azusa: “It doesn't matter…”

- Azusa bites her wrist -

Christine felt the flick of pain. But this time she doesn't try to push him away. She averts her gaze, moving her head to the side.

*Slurp*

Azusa: “Haah… Look at me… Rose…”

He caressed her cheek.

“I want you to watch me… sucking your delicious blood…”

- He sinks his fangs deeper into her wrist again and doesn't take his eyes off hers -

She gasp.

*Gulp, Gulp*

Azusa: “Aah… your blood gives me comfort… it’s very sweet and warm… I'm enjoying the rosy color… that appeared on your cheeks… and… that dreamy look of yours…”

Christine: (I don't know what to say! I should push him away but I'm starting to feel lightheaded…)

He smells her neck.

“Your scent of roses…mixed with your blood scent… makes me go wild. Rose… I can't think straight…”

- He bites her neck -

*Slurp, Slurp*

*TimeSkip*

- Azusa is staring at her, blood dripping from his mouth -

• A commission artwork by @yuma-mukami-garden-god •

Azusa: (Rose-san fainted on me, I got carried away drinking too much of her delicious blood. I should take her back to her room. Tomorrow she's going with Ruki to the Sakamaki's mansion. Ruki will get upset if she happens to be in bad shape. If I'm lucky, I'll get a punch out of him. But I can't stop staring at her, it truly feels like she hypnotized me. I've never felt this way for anyone, right now I wanted to engrave every detail of her features, she was so beautiful, her face was flawless, her rose-colored cheeks were adorable and her rosy pink lips were shaped perfectly. A true rose and I want this rose to be only mine. Even if she hates me…)

“Rose-san… you and I… will be spending… lots of time together… I want you… by my side… and I want us to inflict lots of pain on each other…”

He leaned down and pressed his lips to her forehead.

— TO BE CONTINUED —

Masterpost

~ Picrew ~

#diabolik lovers #diabolik lovers oc #azusa mukami #diabolik lovers fan fiction #diabolik lovers fandom #azusa & rose #his rose #mukami brothers #love planted a rose #diahell

[liquorisce]

monster

rating: g

ao3

summary: Post Canon. A letter from Armin to Mikasa telling her that he is coming to visit, and Mikasa's response.

...

Dear Mikasa, 

How are you? Sorry, I suppose that is a difficult question to answer, but I think about it often. After everything. Every night when I wake up in a sweat, toes dipped in a pool of blood, I think of how you must be feeling. Do you dream of this too? Of him? In my dreams sometimes he is as we saw him last, big and cruel and with lifeless eyes, sometimes there is a punch to my gut and he shoves me to my knees and hurts me. But other times he is small, we both are— the three of us— and his hand extends to mine, to help me catch up to the both of you. We are running up the hill and it is beautiful, like it was when we were younger. But in the end, he is always dead. That isn’t a dream, though huh. It’s reality. I sound silly I suppose— a bit like Eren, sometimes I can’t tell what’s real and what isn’t.

Anyway, I am okay. It’s not all bad. I really wanted to tell you, it felt kind of insane to have you not know. The nights have gotten easier for me, when I wake now I don’t feel like screaming  anymore. Don’t get me wrong: the nightmares do not leave me easily, there is far too much blood on my hands for that. But I don’t feel alone in them anymore. When I wake there is a hand in mine, a warm body next to me, someone who sees these terrors behind closed eyes and understands them. What I’m trying to say— God, it’s embarrassing to admit it, is that Annie and I… Well, you knew already didn’t you? Annie told me that you knew. That you took one look at her and knew her feelings. I kind of envy that, to be honest. I wish I could have looked at her and just known. It would’ve saved a lot of fumbling and stupidity on my part. But anyway, it’s not like we had time for romance then. Even now it feels weird calling it that— I feel guilty. So many people probably never got the time for romance, they were killed. By us. Neither did Eren— well I don’t have to tell you about it. 

When I first knew that I liked her, I was a mess— we knew nothing back then, titans were monsters, so far removed from us, the foreigner, the enemy, the invader. I was in love with a monster and it should’ve repulsed me, but it didn’t. When you looked the other way I went down to the cellars and poured my heart out to her. And then I became a monster and I suppose it all equaled out in the end. But that’s the thing, Mikasa— nobody made me a monster, I always was. At the end of the day, nobody painted the blood on my hands, I dirtied them. It was my fault Eren became the way he did, did you know that? I showed him those books, I made him do what he did and then I couldn’t save him— God, I’m sorry, Annie says I should stop saying things like this, that it’s not my fault, and some days I believe her, but most days I don’t. Today isn’t one of those days. Sorry, it must seem pointless to keep talking about this, but what I mean to say is that it is always on my mind. The human cost of my survival, I mean. I am alive, and safe— and in love, even— and I don’t often feel like I deserve it. On bad days, when I close my eyes Bertholdt is looking at me, into my eyes, into my skull, he can see my every thought. He can see me living the life he was supposed to live, holding the hands of the girl he was supposed to love. But on good days, and it is hard to keep repeating this to myself, I tell myself that I deserve it. Because I need to keep moving forward. Because I sat next to Eren when he knew was about to die and watched him cry because he knew wouldn’t get to live a long life with you, with us. You understand what I’m saying, don’t you? We deserve to be happy. I want to be happy, I want you to be happy. I wish I could see you and know you were doing okay. 

In two weeks, I will board a ship— Annie and Jean and Connie and Reiner and Pieck, they are coming too— for Paradis. We will visit Historia. I know you don’t want to be part of this anymore, I know you just want to rest. But I hope I’ll get to see you. We’ll be visiting the headquarters for a week. Please come see me, Mikasa. I miss you.

Love, Armin

...

Armin, 

This is the fourth letter I’m writing to you, all previous attempts are now in the trash. I miss you so much. I wish we could all live in the same town again. I wish I could invite you and Annie for dinner. Yes, I could hear you gushing through your letter, and it makes me happy that you both are happy. But please don’t call yourself a monster, Armin. You were never a monster  in my eyes. Annie, on the other hand… 

… Just kidding. 

You asked me a question and I don’t quite know how to answer it. How am I feeling? I don’t know. On some days I barely know that I’m alive. I built myself a house on the edge of the forest, and when I was building it I had something to do. Something to keep my hands busy. The days would be tiring and the nights sleepless. Armin, this is going to sound very strange to you but after I came here, I felt as if I didn’t know how to be alone. I didn’t know how to sleep alone. I didn’t know how to cook alone, I didn’t know how to walk alone. Well maybe it isn’t strange, because all our lives we have been together. I have never truly been alone before this. But my loneliness is now particularly difficult: it is as if, for each day prior to that day, I had a different life. For four long years, I had Eren. Did he tell you that? That we lived together? That I woke up to him and went to sleep with his arm around my waist? That when I cooked he would stand behind me, or chop the vegetables or go fish, and when I slept before him, he made sure to cover me with blankets? I didn’t know it when I told you I was leaving, but it is the loneliness that feels most disorienting. For so many years, I have never known what it is like for Eren to not be by my side. And even for that brief time, when he left me to go to Marley, I was still reaching for him.  Now I have nowhere to reach, nothing to reach for. The bed is cold, and I need to chop firewood myself, if I want to be warm. Nobody cares if I am cold and tired. I have nobody to care for. 

You talk about good days and bad days: On bad days I am awake but I cannot find the strength to do anything, I feel like I am drowning in my tears. On good days my eyes are closed and they only open in dreams– dreams where Eren is still with me. We go down to the creek to fish together and get tired of waiting so we go for a swim. On cold nights, we sit by the fireplace with a warm blanket and the heat of his body and I convince myself I will never be  cold again. I hear him call my name, and I feel like my being has a purpose, a meaning, and things make sense to me. On other days I feel like I am only half-alive, my body carries itself to the market, it buys food to keep itself alive, my body takes out the right change to pay the woman at the vegetable cart, says hello to the son of the baker who tells me I need to eat more— apparently I look weak, I was never weak before this, I used to be strong.

I don’t really question if I deserve to be happy. I don’t know if I can be. I don’t know if I have it in me to move this body, this soul, without the immense burden of loss. Inside me there is a pit, a black hole, and I don’t know if happiness will survive inside it. But it makes me happy that you are happy. Your letter made me smile. Of course I will visit you. Please keep writing to me, Armin. I cannot wait to see you.

Yours,

Mikasa

#eremika #aruani #liquorisce fanfiction #aot

[maiverie]

triage — ft. lee heeseung (chapter IV)

you try to teach the nerd how to date.

synopsis: heeseung is not, by any measure, date-able. he’s dorky, he’s nerdy, and he does this weird thing where he snorts loudly every time he laughs. in fact, he loves everything that normal people are allergic to — computer science, collecting rare comic books, and birdwatching on the weekend.

given that you two have obviously nothing in common, you find yourself utterly flabbergasted when you receive a letter in your locker, on which heeseung has written, "hi. will you please teach me how to date?"

MASTERLIST HERE !

kayla’s playlist (@/miiiwaa) ♡ my shitty og playlist . tags : #.*triage .

TAGLIST

@enhyflirt @dreamyenskz @icedcoffeesunwoo @ssolari @skazoo @jjunis @heejake-en @koroktsuya @jeongwins @tinykoi-s @en-boyz @soobin-chois @blessed-sky @jhyunieee @kisswon @vbxrin @cosmicsunghoon @bloomedberry @jungwonielove @miiiwaa @jungwoniee @lhsng @missharubear @deonuism @sarahxy537 @bambisgirl @hrrhmay-primaryblog @yeonzzun @msxflower @sunsunu @jangwonie @sweetjaemss @seungstarss @tokyoflies @solelyenha @softforqiankun @goodforgyu @va1ry @taekbokki @ashxxkook @moon-gyus @jakeified @markleeisdabestdrug @wccycc @viagumi @pisss111 @outrologist @fairfairee @hiqhkey @ctrlemis

chapter four

word count: 6.5k | navigation: previous / next / MASTERLIST warnings: swearing, (verbal) bullying

‎‎‏‏‎ ‎

“can i consider this my first real date?”

you feel your stomach twist and your heart begin to race, because while you must have convinced yourself that you were far beyond the stage of craving romance — you’re not.

you want it. you want romance. you want this romance, you want the one with the smiles and the giggles and the clumsy ballroom dancing and ice creams at a park and foam moustaches from nice cafés around town. you desperately want this kind of romance, but you want it with heeseung.

because you’ve realised that while you’re a sunset, heeseung is a sunrise. 

the kind of sunrise that rises during dawn; one that touches everything around it with a golden glow and brightens any room to the standards of heaven.

he makes everything around him glow. 

even you.

he makes even you feel like you can glow.

“you… you want to consider me your first real date?” you mutter, disbelieving of his words.

“well, yeah.” he blushes, eyes cast to the side as he rubs the nape of his neck. “so... so i can brag about you...” 

brag?

the rest of his sentence trickles off, but this is the point where your stomach mangles into a knot.

the thing about glow is that there must be darkness to begin — and if there’s anything your friendship with heeseung has shown you, it’s that you have so much darkness you’ve never been courageous enough to face. 

after all, heeseung is far removed from the life you’re accustomed to. 

brag?

there is nothing about you worth bragging about. 

you’ve spent years indulging in the exhilaration of danger and chaos, mistaking it for fulfilment and happiness. in your darkest days, you found shreds of pleasure in late night parties, cigarettes and blunts, and shallow friendships you always secretly knew deepened the void in your soul.

but heeseung is good. he is pure-hearted, and honest, and sweet, and so, so kind.

so as you sit here in heeseung’s car, faced with the realisation that you are dark and he is light, you can’t help but disintegrate into tears. 

you begin sobbing.

your darkness unravels from its knot — every fissure, every fracture, and every tiny splinter that traces your soul is exposed bare. you reveal your innermost insecurities to heeseung, crying because you feel undeserving of all the kindness he’s shown you.

tonight’s wedding date was one of the best nights of your life. it felt ethereal, like a movie brought to life or your favourite song played live and just for you. it was fun. too fun; the kind that makes it painfully obvious that you must eventually float back to earth and be dragged to reality. you cry and cry, guilt and misery seizing your throat. you don’t deserve him, because while he admires you like a goddess, you are nothing but damaged goods with skeletons and dust in her closet. 

the silence that hangs in the air is paralysing.

this must be a long time coming, because more sobs erupt from you than you thought possible — how long have you been holding in your misery?

or, perhaps you should have seen this coming — after all, there was always a voice that echoed in your subconscious each time you witnessed your shitty friends do shitty things. or when you’d wake up on a sunday morning and stare at the ceiling and contemplate the way you’ve wasted another night mindlessly partying. or when ryujin or taehyun exchanged malicious words about your classmates and you never said a thing until heeseung came along.

he must be terribly stunned by your reaction, but you are so inconsolably wretched that you don’t notice he’s exited the driver’s seat. in fact, heeseung has already dashed around to the other side of the car. he opens the door on your side, instantly wrapping you into an embrace that tucks your face into the crook of his neck.

warm. heeseung is warm. 

“i-i’m so sorry!” he squeaks. you inhale the scent of his soft cologne, while his warmth oozes into you and softens your heart. he doesn’t understand the reason behind your tears, and instead frantically pats your hair in an attempt to comfort you. “a-are you okay? ah, right— no, you’re obviously not okay... i’m… i’m so sorry. was it me? did i make you cry? whatever it is, i’m so, so sorry, okay?” 

you sob harder.

why is he apologising?

and why is he so goddamn warm?

with your proximity, you can feel the pounding inside heeseung’s chest. his heart is hammering. he must be nervous, you think, because you’ve always held yourself with a high chin and a strong resolve.

is he disappointed that you are not as confident and self-assured as you seem?

or has he seen through you all this time?

truthfully, what makes you more miserable is that his warmth and touch are ridiculously comforting. you melt into his arms, wrapping yours around his back to pull him in closer. he’s like a sun that doesn’t burn.

he’s not fire, he’s just warmth.

“d-do…” his whisper as unsung as a feather in rain, “…do you want ice cream? or… or cookies? or… um… books? i-i really don’t kno—”

his kind offers only make you sob harder. he truly is the personification of a sunrise, isn’t he? he’s bright, he’s warm, and with his presence, you find a sort of clarity you’ve been seeking all your life. 

“i-i—”

“it’s okay, it’s okay,” he shushes you, noticing the way you choke on your words. he rubs circles on your back, then strokes your hair, then pulls you in close and squeezes his cheek against the side of your head, enchanting you with his comfort and intimacy. seconds and minutes pass as you hug him as tightly as you can, indulging in another one of your selfish desires. 

one more time, you think. 

you could afford to be selfish just one more time. 

you and heeseung never spoke about that night again.

the next time you saw him, you knew by the look in his eyes that he wanted to ask if you were okay. however, hesitant to admit your innermost insecurity about not being good enough for him, you gave him a simple smile and he never pushed any further.

from then, you let yourself enjoy simple pleasures with heeseung, and together, you embraced the aspects of your life you loathed most. you improved. you started studying again after he began tutoring you. you focused in class, read books, slept early, and rid yourself of all the bad influences in your life. you flourished and bloomed and slowly, with each tiny achievement you amassed across a few weeks, became more and more confident that you weren’t so bad after all.

it’s funny, because you’d once promised to teach heeseung how to date, without knowing that he’d teach you how to heal. now, you realise that these two come hand in hand. perhaps the reason you never let yourself settle down with a boy was because you’d never learned to heal first.

and because of this, you fall a little harder and harder for him each day.

you’re not sure it’s even love — but whatever it is, it exists and you feel it vibrate along your bones. and that’s enough for you to know it’s there, even if most of your affections are hidden in shadows. 

you might not deserve him, but you allow yourself to admire him in secrecy. you collect little memories and store them inside precious jars inside your heart. you watch him during the day and think about him during the night. you watch the way he scrunches up his shoulders when he laughs and the way his eyes sparkle when he talks about his mom. like a broken record, you replay every kind deed he does for you and roll around in your bed, giddy and blushing at the memory of every time your hands accidentally touched. you become absorbed in an innocent, pure love you hadn't thought could be possible for you. 

however, you know better than to keep him to yourself. after all, with each step to becoming a better person, you understand he is leaps and bounds out of your league. so, despite the way it makes your heart ache, you continue to teach heeseung.

in the same way he teaches you how to heal, you continue to teach him how to date. you accompany him on fake dates and show him how to approach random strangers with confidence. you teach him how to dress, how to hold a conversation, what to do at the end of the date, how to make a girl swoon, and finally, how to recognise when they’re in love with him. 

despite the fact that it makes your heart uneasy, you teach him the final lesson. 

HOW TO DATE: LESSON 3 — only ever date people that are in your league. otherwise, you’re just setting yourself up for failure. 

unbeknownst to you, this lesson is the very reason why heeseung’s heart is uneasy, too.

because he’s wondering the exact same thing.

is he good enough for you?

“i really think you should go, heeseung.” 

“really?”

“really.”

it’s 5pm on a friday night, and the two of you are inside his bedroom — you, sitting on the edge of his bed with one leg folded over the other, and him nervously pacing around the room. he’s been like this ever since you both had returned from school.

your eyes follow each of his movements, even if that means he goes up and down the room — up and down and up and down and up and do—

“i-i… i don’t know.” he mumbles, gnawing on the nail of his thumb. you watch in amusement as he suddenly halts and huffs his cheeks. “i just… well, i’ve never really been to a party before.”

your eyes almost bulge out their sockets. “wait, really? never?”

he offers you a bashful look, straightening his school uniform. “n-never. is that bad?”

not bad, just surprising, though the more you think about it, not very surprising at all. it’s lee heeseung after all, the boy with his nose stuck so far into books that the tip of it probably has ink stains. “of course not!” you wave your hands, hoping to quell his anxiety. 

heeseung shoots you an uneasy look, so you stand and gently clasp his wrist, dragging him to sit with you on the bed. the two of you land on it with a soft thud and you hold one of his shoulders in reassurance.

“seriously, you should go.” you say with a soft smile. “it’ll be really fun!”

“you think?” he winces.

“yeah!” you nod enthusiastically. “i can help you pick out an outfit and everything. you’ll be the hottest guy there. girls…” you try to bite back the uncomfortable tug at your heart, “... will be all over you. you’ll have, like, four dates to attend the next day.”

“four dates?” he stares at you, puzzled. “that doesn’t seem very time-efficient—”

“it’s a hyperbole, heeseung. shut up.” you cut him off with a roll of the eyes. he giggles from your reaction, softening your expression. “in all seriousness, you should go. you know, my first party was crazy fun, like basically i ended up drinking a little too much and i woke up the next day with this video of me running down the road half-nak—”

he blinks.

“—uh, nauseated. half-nauseated. i was very sick, so i walked all the way home, totally sober and safe and normal! yes. i did just that.”

you turn away and cough awkwardly, forgetting about how unhinged most of your party stories seem to end. regardless, it really is your sincerest hope that heeseung goes — it’ll be good for him to go out and socialise with people that aren’t you; he’s obviously getting better and better at making friends with his classmates if he’s already received his first party invitation. 

“i-i don’t know… i’m not really going to know anybody there…”

“i’ll pick you up afterwards!” you grin, making the edges of his lips tug upward. then, you reach over and stroke his head, lowering yours to coo at him sarcastically. “and make sure you’re safe and all tucked into bed ‘cause you’re being such a baby.”

“b-baby?” his eyes widen while he bites back a smile, blush trickling into his cheeks. his actions make your eyes quickly dart to his lips before you tell yourself to stop thinking about kissing him. “hm…” he taps his chin with a restrained smile, before his eyes brighten and his head snaps up at you. “why don’t you come with me?”

you stare at him like he’s speaking a foreign language. “what? no!”

“why not?” he whines, nudging you with his shoulder. “you said it yourself! parties are fun!”

“well yeah, but, i’m kinda doing this thing where i stop drinking, heeseung!” you laugh, in reference to your recent life deep-cleanse. you’ve cut out your friends and self-sabotaging, which most definitely includes your drinking and partying.

“you don’t have to drink!” heeseung beams. “it’ll be fun. i-i think i’d be a lot more comfortable if you were there…”

shit. 

you feel yourself waver. truthfully speaking, you do miss partying, and you’re certain it’d be a hundred times better with heeseung by your side. perhaps it’d be good for you to keep a look out for heeseung; you know how most of these events tend to go. if they’re anything like the ones your friends used to host, one or two poor suckers almost always walk home with an embarrassing story that gets echoed into the hallways. there was no chance in hell you’d let that happen to your sweet boy.

“but i wasn’t invited.” you frown. ironically, your popularity has taken quite the hit — apparently, having your ex-best friend ryujin spread nasty rumors isn’t painting the nicest picture of you with the rest of the student body. you don’t really care for it, but you would certainly find it weird to show up to a party nobody expects you to attend.

“who cares? if they kick us out, we can hang out afterwards.” heeseung beams, his eyes crinkling with his smile. “late night bike rides?”

you can’t help but grin back, feeling the heavy feeling in your chest lift. late night bike rides — just him, you, and the chilly breeze as his bicycle courses its away down the pave way.

“okay… fine.”

truthfully, a part of you hopes this party doesn’t even happen.

unbeknownst to you, a part of heeseung is hoping the exact same thing.

.

.

.

apparently, picking out an outfit for heeseung is not easy when you disagree on his chosen tee.

“but people love superheroes.” heeseung pouts. “that’s why they’re called super. because they’re super cool.”

“dude, if you say another word, i will literally shove this shirt down your throat.” you growl, yanking the superhero tee out his hands and tossing it across the room. his head follows the direction it flies and he watches it land with a soft thud. “that shirt is an abomination and deserves to be burned.”

“aw,” he slumps. “but… that was iron man.”

“more like, iron letting anybody wear that outside.” you snort from your pun before your smile quickly vanishes. fuck. did you just laugh at your own joke? is heeseung making you… lame? is this who you are now? “okay… anyway.” you shudder at that thought. “i picked this outfit for you. come look!”

heeseung stamps his lips together, waddling closer toward you as he peers into his own closet. you quickly retrieve the white dress-shirt you’ve chosen and the cream white sweater you’re hoping to layer it with. across the sweater are thick black vertical lines and a front print that reads stray souls pray for us, among other ominous words you hope will suffice in creating an edgy aura. “i thought maybe we could pair this with some black jeans, a necklace and chuck on a bunch of fake piercings. you’ll look emo, but at least you won’t look horny for a man made out of metal.”

“hey! that’s so disrespectful to iron man!”

“whatever man,” you shove all the clothes in his hands while shuffling toward the bedroom door so you can leave. “i’m going to get changed in the bathroom. just tell me when you’re finished dressing.”

you place your hand on the door knob before halting. oh, right!

whirling around, you rush for your backpack in the corner.

“by the way,” you grin, unzipping your backpack and reaching into it to retrieve something. heeseung stares at you curiously, only to find himself wide-eyed when you yank out a small box from your bag.

“this is for you.” you excitedly grin. “i saw it the other day in a store and it reminded me of you.”

his eyes instantly round in surprise. “this is for me?”

“yeah,” you smile. “i know i told myself no more shoplifting but i couldn’t resist it.”

he gasps loudly. “wait, y-you stole this?” he shrieks nervously, eyes bouncing between you and the box.

you chuckle easily. “well, yeah. i mean, only ‘cause i forgot my purse.”

“i could’ve paid it for you!”

“but then it wouldn’t have been a gift.” you shake your head. “just take it, heeseung. i’ll, uh… drop off the money to them tomorrow.”

he presses his lips into a line, eventually succumbing to your compromise. now, he finally examines the box in his hands, peeking curiously. “but… what is it?” he asks, slowly peeling the wrapping away.

“a jigsaw puzzle!” you explain excitedly. “i just thought—i don’t know, you once mentioned you and your mother like to do jigsaw puzzles together, and… i thought this picture was really pretty.”

he stares at first before a smile instantly sweeps his features. “wow, thank you so much!” heeseung beams, and the sparkle in his eyes makes you feel unimaginably elated. his smile is so damn pretty but it’s even prettier when you’re the reason for it. “so what’s the picture?”

“just some landscape photo.” you mutter, too embarrassed to admit that it’s a sunset. something about admitting this inside joke is frankly a bit embarrassing — what if he’s long forgotten about it? what if this is entirely one-sided?

heeseung giggles as he opens the box and peers at the jigsaw pieces inside it. “ah! a sunset of course.” he bobs his head. “a sunset from miss sunset.” he smiles affectionately, “i love it so much.”

you smile and nod your head once, desperately containing your excitement. can’t show too much, and all at once.

he then captures your attention by rummaging through the pieces and yanking one of them out of it. “here!” he holds it out for you, causing you to stare in bewilderment.

“what?”

“keep it.” he urges.

“but… then you can’t finish your puzzle.” you blink.

“that’s the point!” he giggles. “so you can have an excuse to meet my mom one day.”

.

.

.

you’re nervously staring at your reflection in the mirror, adjusting the way the clothes sit on your body. you had quickly come home and back to heeseung’s to grab a change of clothes, but now you fear that you’d chosen the wrong ones.

or perhaps there was never a “wrong” outfit to choose because they’re all horribly inappropriate. it’s infuriating dealing with your past self — why the hell are all your skirts so damn short?

perhaps you’ve been too focused on dealing with heeseung’s closet to realise that you need a change of your own. the only party attire you own is everything you used to wear, which is a gaudy collection of mini skirts, cropped tops, distressed denim and tops that borderline lingerie. for fuck’s sake, you curse to yourself, fidgeting with the outfit you’re already embarrassed at the thought of heeseung seeing.

you’ve chosen a black mini skirt and a matching sleeveless halter top that knots at the back of your neck, accentuating your shoulders and drawing attention to the bare expanse of your back. this was always one of your go-to outfits — admittedly, it was a crowd favourite, but only because it flatters all your nicest assets and treads the line between flirty and fun.

dreading how heeseung will react on seeing this, you release your hair so it flows down your back and adjust your makeup, forcing a smile at yourself to see your red-painted lips stretch.

“don’t come in; i look stupid.” heeseung mutters when he hears you just outside his bedroom door, so you peer inside before opening it widely with a big grin. seated on the edge of the bed, he turns toward you at the door and opens his mouth to speak before freezing when he sees you.

“w-woah.”

you feel your entire face burn like metal under the sun, because heeseung continues to stare, eyes rounded and mouth slightly ajar. “sorry,” you blush profusely, brushing your hair so that it conceals as much of your top as possible. “fuck, my, uh, closet isn’t very wholesome and so—”

“n-no!” he cries, waving his hands around frantically. “i-i wasn’t thinking that! i promise!”

you stamp your lips into an awkward smile and trail across the room.

“the jewellery fits you really well, by the way.” you comment, appreciating the way his necklace and earrings elevate the overall badass aura this outfit has given him. the sweater makes his shoulders look wide, while the dress-shirt collar that peeks out from beneath it makes him look fashionable. these jeans would look good with some boots, you think, making a mental note of what already exists in his closet.

“your hair looks kinda dumb though.” you scoff playfully, standing in front of him now. “i’ll fix it.” 

“n-no, it’s oka—”

he gulps, leaning back as you slide between the space between each of his legs and reach over to brush his hair with your fingers. bit by bit, you gently untangle any knots and use small amounts of styling cream to get them in the right place. it causes you to occasionally lean in to reach the ends at the back, so he turns his face to the side in an attempt to avoid contact with your chest. “a-ah… um, m-maybe you should—”

“i think it’ll look really nice like this.” you comment absentmindedly, without realising that you’ve completely enveloped him with your scent.

you’re close.

you’re too close, he thinks, but you don’t seem to realise it —  truthfully, you’re a little too focused to have heard heeseung, nor the way his hand is slowly resting on your waist.

then, you feel his fingers brush against the bare skin of your waist just above your skirt, and your whole body freezes.

he’s touching you. heeseung is touching you.

every inch of your skin that he touches sends shivers down your spine, but before you can begin to process what’s happening, he gently pushes you away by a grip on your hips.

“stop.” he mumbles, head hanging low. “please stop, okay?” you stumble back when he pushes you a little further. you stand, dumbfounded and stunned, his fingers burning every inch of the skin he’s touched like a scathing chisel.

did you do something wrong?

is he uncomfortable with you?

how close is too close?

“i-i can do it myself.” he mumbles, desperately concealing his flushed face before rushing toward his bathroom, so quick that you stare off at the absent space left on his seat on the bed.

.

.

.

for the first time, the car ride is silent. you’d like to have the courage to speak up, but the last time anybody had ever spoken was when you’d thanked him for giving you the handbag you almost forgot to bring along. he’d gotten red, dipped his head and muttered a quiet you’re welcome, and that in itself felt like the death of the conversation.

during the car ride to the party, you fiddle with the hem of your mini skirt, plagued with a re-run of what happened in his bedroom. perhaps you’re getting a little too comfortable with him; or perhaps he just doesn’t need your guidance anymore.

now you just feel a moron.

perhaps you shouldn't have decided to come to this party after all.

“s-sorry.” heeseung finally squeaks, so you whip your head toward the driver’s seat. he seems to be nervously clutching the steering wheel with both eyes drilling the road ahead. “i’m sorry.”

what?

“what do you mean?” you frown, though the tension in your body dissipates now that you’re talking again. 

“i’m really sorry.” heeseung gnaws on his lips, his body tense, and his eyes unable to be peeled away from the road. “i just… y-you’re, like, so pretty and everything about you is just... you make me really nervous, you know? i’m sorry i pushed you away, i just kind of… i— nevermind.” his entire face reddens while he huffs his cheeks heftily. “y-you just… you look really, um.. wow. you look really, really incredible. and th-thank you for fixing my hair...” 

incredible?

he thinks you look really, really incredible?

you instantly smile, feeling your heart swell with giddiness. not just incredible, and not just really incredible —  but really, really incredible. you bite back a grin, quickly turning to the passenger window in an attempt to conceal your utter delight. you feel like a giddy middle schooler.

“it’s okay.” you whisper. “i’m just really, really glad we’re talking again.” 

.

.

.

heeseung is many things. a smart boy, a loving son, but above everything else, a horrible, horrible drunk.

it doesn’t help that three hours in, you’re one of the only sober people surrounded by drunk morons. it felt like just a minute ago when the two of you were nervously standing outside yuna’s door, ushered inside and offered various drinks (which you pawned off to heeseung).

you glare at him from your seat halfway on the stairs, watching him through the balusters as he chats up lia. she’s been giggling uncontrollably ever since she found out that heeseung is (thanks to you!) super hot now.

fucking bitch.

she’s been playfully touching heeseung and laughing at all his jokes all night. he’s been blushing and timidly telling her more of his probably dumb as fuck chemistry jokes.

truthfully, you don’t even need the vodka — the burning sensation of jealousy inside your chest is enough to keep you flushed. thing is, you can’t even be mad — after all, you’re the one that taught him all the skills to flirt and you’re the one that even encouraged him to come to this lame ass party anyway.

you want to be able to enjoy this party, you really do, but it’s hard when your mind is going haywire. even a party like this — one inside yuna’s spacious house, decked with bottomless drinks, endless entertainment and rnb music — you can’t seem to take your mind off your favourite boy.

huffing in annoyance, you clench your jaw and take a sip of your stupid, cold ass water. water is such a dumb drink. who even likes drinking water? water is dumb and this party is dumb and heeseung is so fucking dumb.

“you look like you’re going to murder someone.”

you look up over your shoulder, past your mascara-laden lashes. standing a few stairs above you is ryujin, with her brows lifted and her hands on her hips. you instantly scowl and groan, turning back around.

“i’m not in the mood.” you tell your ex-best friend. “get lost.”

“bitch, this is my party and you’re telling me to get lost?”

you snap your head back up to stare at her in confusion, only to then connect the dots. right, you almost forgot — she’s friends with yuna.

she watches in amusement as you make the realisation, trodding down the steps to take the seat beside you. okay, this is officially weird — since when were you and ryujin on talking terms?

“your party’s shit.” you hiss at her, thinking about heeseung and a girl you might very soon rip the limbs off. she’s got her hand on heeseung’s arm and he’s blushing profusely because of it. childishly, you make note of where she’s touched so you know never to touch him there ever again. “it’s so fucking lame.”

“honey, you’ve been staring at that little dweeb all night. as if i’m not going to know the only reason you’re pissy is because you’re jealous.” ryujin snorts.

you glare at her again, making her lift her hands up in defence. “sorry, slip of tongue — not dweeb, just… boy. although whatever experiment you’ve been doing on him seems to be working. he’s like… highkey hot now.” she flashes a humorous smile. you press your lips together, unimpressed, instantly returning your gaze back to heeseung.

what the hell? they’re on the couch now?

“whatever.” you mumble, swirling the straw inside your cup. you’re well-accustomed to lying; it’s something that comes natural to you, but for some reason, you don’t even bother to hide your disdain for heeseung and lia.

she’s not right for him.

“taehyun’s coming to pick me up later if you wanna hang with us. we’re probably just going to chill at his house.” she grins.

“easy pass.” you scoff, thinking about the way she’s treated you. “and can you stop talking to me like we’re friends? we’re not, so get lost.”

ryujin offers you a wounded look. “dude, what’s your fucking issue? why are you always acting like you’re better than us? stop being such a pompous bitch.”

you instantly stand looking back at her with a furious gaze. “i’m leaving. don’t talk to me.”

heeseung doesn’t know love.

he knows many things, like the circumference of various planets and enough digits of pi to bore a whole party to sleep, but he doesn’t know love. after all, he’s never experienced anything remotely close to it.

lately, however, he’s been feeling like he’s inching closer and closer to the real thing.

and it’s all thanks to you.

your dating lessons have clarified a lot of what he always felt unsure about. he’s not the best with people and definitely not with girls, but you bring the clarity he’s always been searching for.

however, engaging in this conversation with lia has thrown out everything he thought he learned about girls.

are conversations always this… boring?

“yeah. isn’t school the worst?” lia giggles.

“haha, yes… i hate school…” heeseung nervously laughs, his smile fading away by the second. how can school be the worst when it’s the best?

he doesn’t mean to be rude, but he’s not having a great time. sitting here on the couch with lia is an experience he’s trying to push himself to have, but frankly the conversation just doesn’t run as smoothly as it does with you. besides, he’s definitely not the only person that’s obviously bored, because every time heeseung opens his mouth to share another fun fact about light bulbs, he can literally see the light in lia’s eyes vanish.

she’s not really having the best time either, yet somehow she’s becoming more touchy by the minute.

it’s contradictory. he doesn’t understand what she’s thinking. and this is not a problem he faced when going on all those fake dates with you.

he’s really, really confused and when he feels this way, there’s only one person that smooths out the mangled mess in his brain — you.

as he quickly tears his eyes away from lia and surveys the area for a glimpse of you, he finds himself more anxious when he can’t. miss sunset, miss sunset, miss sunset… your name repeats in his head like a drum. you’re truly the only thing in the world that makes sense (other than science, of course), and now that the effects of alcohol are beginning to afflict him, he’s finding it more and more hard to be without you.

so he quickly excuses himself from lia and springs to his feet.

“hey! b-but heechul, i thought we could maybe… you know, leave this party together?” she smiles, brows lifted in anticipation.

heeseung blinks. “my name is heeseung.”

her face falls. “oh.”

“i mean, unless my parents are dyslexic and read my birth certificate wrong,” he jokes, snorting at first until he realises she’s not laughing. that’s when his smile instantly vanishes and he dips his head low in shame. maybe he’s only funny to miss sunset. “s-sorry.” he blushes, “i-i really have to go. m-maybe i’ll see you around?”

lia huffs before sighing. “okay, i guess.”

scratching the nape of his neck, he whirls around and begins his search for you.

as he traverses his way through the crowds of people and dodges the spillage of the drinks in their hands, he eventually discovers that he’s making loops around the first storey. ah, he reminds himself, there’s a second storey! he climbs the stairs, taking note of the cups that have been left up along it. there are two — one of which has a familiar lipstick stain he’s pretty sure you’d worn.

he’d know.

after all, he’s been staring at your lips all day.

sparing some time, he neatly stacks the cups together and brings them with him upstairs in search for a garbage container. as he reaches the second storey, he notices a few closed bedroom doors and one which is slightly ajar.

batting his lashes curiously, he hears distant chatter at the bedroom at the very end of the hallway. ignoring it, he walks right across the carpet, locating the bathroom. after discarding the trash, he takes a few minutes of examining his reflection (lia had ruined the hair you made look so pretty) before exiting the bathroom.

then he halts in his feet, because he hears a loud crash.

concerned, he bolts toward the bedroom at the end of the hallway and swings the door open, only to immediately regret his actions afterward.

because he’s just seen something he shouldn’t have.

standing beside the bed, ryujin and taehyun are tangled in each other’s arms. heeseung’s eyes immediately widen as their lips detach and they snap their heads over at him, equally as shocked as him.

oh no.

“oh, for fuck’s sake!” ryujin cries, shoving taehyun away from her as she glares ferociously at heeseung. “what the fuck are you doing here?”

heeseung slowly backs away. “s-sorry.” he raises both his hands, feeling regret and horror trickle inside of him. isn’t taehyun dating his cousin, minjeong? aren’t they both your friends? didn’t you and taehyun have a… thing? his brain hurts.

he continually backs away, before taehyun lunges toward him and yanks him in the bedroom.

“let’s have a little talk, you dweeb.”

.

.

.

“you’re hot. can i have your number?”

“look at me. does it look like i want to give you my number?” you stare at him, boring holes into his eyes until he’s uncomfortable and leaves. you’re not normally this mean when boys try to hit on you, but frankly you’ve had enough of this night.

after your fight with ryujin, you’d driven to a nearby convenience store to grab some snacks for heeseung.

you’d figured he’d be peckish after all that drinking. but now that you’ve returned to the party and the boy is nowhere to be seen (and neither is lia, by the way), you’ve come to a solution that’s driving you crazy.

they’re probably off making out somewhere.

upset, you hold your own pity party in the kitchen by making yourself some iced cola. man, the vodka bottle is looking awfully tempting, but once again you choose to honor your self-development.

however, as two hours pass, you find yourself more and more concerned that heeseung is not off doing what you think he’s doing. you verify this with lia, who states she hasn’t seen him for a while now. the growing concern eventually ruptures inside you and you drop everything to search for heeseung.

“heeseung?” you call as you shove your way through the house. “heeseung?”

you attempt to dial his number but your calls don’t go through. he never turns his phone off.

fuck.

fuck.

fuck.

“heeseung!” you shout as you meticulously scavenge the back and front yard. you become increasingly anxious that you’ve lost the boy — drunk and alone and with people you definitely don’t trust to take care of him. eventually, the time comes for when you decide to search the second storey, though your doubts are high.

when you’re at the foot of the stairs, your heart is hammering inside your chest. is he okay? it’s your one genuine concern, and it makes you furious at yourself for letting your jealousy get ahold of you. why the hell did you leave the party?

this is all your fault.

if anything happens to your boy, it will be all your fault.

climbing the stairs, you notice something odd. where the hell is your cup from before? there’s nobody here you know that would do any sort of cleaning, unless—

you sprint up the stairs and begin slamming open every door you see.

“heeseung?” you continuously echo into every room, finding silence on the receiving end. it’s almost unnerving, because if he’s not here then he’s not anywhere. it makes tears well in your eyes thinking about where he could be or if he’s feeling lost and scared.

that’s when you take notice of the remaining door at the end of the hallway.

“h-heeseung?” you approach the door, opening it.

the room is pitch dark, and at this time of night, the windows offer no shed of light. you see nobody on the bed, and though you almost close the door and leave, you halt at the sound of a soft whimper.

you freeze.

heeseung?

the room falls silent again, so you open the door a little wider. the light from your side now pours inside and you finally make out a figure sitting on the floor.

it’s slumped against the side of the bed, curled up and hugging its legs.

your heart falls into the pit of your stomach.

it’s heeseung.

and he’s crying.

“heeseung? oh my god.” you rush over toward him and fall to your knees, cupping his face in your hands as your chest swells with worry and distress. “are you okay? what happened? what’s wrong?”

your eyes dart everywhere across his features, taking in everything about his expression — his blood-shot eyes, the pink across the tip of his nose and his cheeks, and his tears streaming down his cheeks and now onto your fingers.

heeseung retracts from your touch and hiccups, dropping his face on his knees. at the cursory glance you’d made, you can tell he’s clearly intoxicated. he looks really unwell, but this is certainly not the result of just alcohol — he’s obviously upset about something.

“i-it’s me,” you attempt to placate him, placing a hand on his shoulder to rub his back before he flinches away from you.

“leave me alone.” he chokes out, his soft whisper jagged and broken. you stare in stunned silence, taken aback by his reaction. your head feels like it’s spinning.

“wh-what happened?” you question, mind racing as you attempt to fill in the blanks yourself. did someone hurt him? did someone say something to him? did—

your expression instantly darkens when you recall what had happened earlier. you’d hate to be right. you pray and pray and pray that this is a shot in the dark and your assumption is far too many steps ahead of reality.

“was it… ryujin?” you whisper, feeling your entire body tense.

at the sound of her name, you see him stiffen.

and it’s enough of an answer for you.

you feel fury thrash inside of you and compound in your core. your hands are shaky when you reach out to touch him but he instantly jerks away from you.

“she said something to you?” you whisper, shattered by this realisation.

he pauses before slowly nodding his head.

“just her?”

he shakes his head.

taehyun, that fucking rat bastard.

“i’ll fucking kill them.” you growl, standing up instantly. you’re livid. you can’t even begin to imagine what they’ve done to your boy, but you’re certain you won’t spare mercy. “i’ll beat the shit out of them.” you rush to leave, but heeseung grabs your hand before you can go anywhere.

“you can have your puzzle back.” your little sun says. “i don’t want it anymore.”

//

to be continued.

*taglist is open, just comment or send an ask :>

a/n: hahahahahaha im sorry IM SORRY it was gna happen sooner or later but anyways i am once again BEGGING for ur forgiveness for such a late update; since the next chapter is the FINAL chapter, i will try my best ot be rlly quick. within the next 2 weeks hopefully? 3? anyway idek how i feel abt this final product or w/e but ya girl is ~tired~ and she's very excited to finish this series <33 thank you guys SOSOSOSO MUCH for all the love across the few months it took me to write this. can’t believe we have one more chapter left :< triage & triage!hee have a special place in my heart hehe, so thanks for being a part of this journey <333 anyway pls do support me via liking + reblogging if u can !! :>

#DONT KILL ME FOR THIS CHAPTER 😭 #ficscafe #enhypennetwork #heeseung x reader #lee heeseung fic #heeseung imagines #enhypen scenarios #enhypen fluff #heeseung scenarios #heeseung fluff #enhypen x reader #lee heeseung fluff #enhypen imagines #enhypen drabbles #lee heeseung imagine #heeseung drabbles #enhypen heeseung x reader #enhypen fic #enhypen fanfic #heeseung fic #heeseung fanfic #lee heeseung #heeseung #lee heeseung au #heeseung fanfiction #heeseung au #heeseung enhypen #lee heeseung edit #enhypen headcanons #heeseung headcanons

[lloyd283]

I made a Trollhunters asmr idea about Jim gaining PTSD from the other 'timeline' and claire's trying to help him.

Here you go!

[Soft spoken on a rainy night]

Hey, i came down as soon as i could. Jim, is everything okay, or 'crispy'? Can't believe i said that.

(-)

So, i hear you can't sleep recently, can you? Well, whilst i was babysitting enrique, i found methods to help someone sleep or calm themselves in a book. Lovely artwork, isn't it? They worked on enrique, so hopefully i can do the same with you.

[Personal attention, caring]

Jim, you seem dazed, sad and a little tense in your hands. Did Steve punch you again, that brat? I always hoped he'd become a better guy, but only assistance may make that happen.

Right, just going to check your head like your mother does. Yeah, a fever like head and slightly faster heart rate. Everything else seems fine. We can rule out steve. Next is, a, massage. I hate doing this.

Could i check your arms and lower legs please. They are tense. Think of your phone, but the metal is your body. May i remove your jacket for a back and shoulder massage?

"Jim so owes me a massage one day, this is tiring." Not even that?

Wait, i heard you run at night in the forest from your mother, who's concerned. Is it because of your dirty trainers? I know how to shoe shine myself often, given i wear these boots often or in the 90%s of the time, or my trainers for gym class, heck i sleep sometimes in them (s3 e4)

Little fun fact: i had to make my own trainers with specialist help because i didn't like the concept of laces and not being able to lace any up or trainers in general. You could say a forger helped me.

Not even a nose boop? Why can't you tell me what's wrong.

[Claire, I'm remembering a reality which i rewrote and I'm panicking. Forgive me, I'm going outside.]

Jim, wait! Jim, it's slinging it down and I've no umbrella on me as my parents took them for tonight. I'm soaked, your soaked, could you please come inside.

[I know you believe me to be a kind fearless person but this, this is scaring me. In the other reality, i punched steve to protect my friends. I became a Trollhunter and battled trolls and monsters. Enrique was taken, and i risked everything to bring him back. I almost lost you and you almost lost me. My dad abandoned me, so my mentor became my father figure. You had shadow magic that almost killed you, claire but you were fierce and great. Douxie and merlin called you fair, and no one knows who that dress in the muesum belonged to. Toby died defeating a titan and i had to rewrite the story. I'm afraid that despite passing it to toby, it'll all happen again. And i don't want to lose anyone else!]

Jim, your mantle you had made you who you are today. It ain't that far fetched, i thought i remembered things in my dreams. Drew in my book. I love you, here and there, I'd change nothing if i could. Someone once told me, you aren't alone for someone else is feeling like you.

[Kiss]

We're soaked so much, it feels weird, but it feels good kissing you out here. I wouldn't mind kissing a while longer.

[More kissing, passionate in a way] [sitting under porch about 15 minutes later with a baby monitor app on her phone and a blanket covering them. Claire has her head on Jim's shoulder]

[You're the best thing that's happened to me, apart from probably Toby's support.]

Heh. That's about right.

[You're a fantastic girl you know and we're lucky to have each other]

Awwwwww, jim.

#trollhunters #trollhunters tales of arcadia #jlaire

[acourtofthought]

Problematic Arguments Part III

As Lucien took off his jacket, kneeling before Elain. She cringed away from the coat, from him—

It's one of the big sticking points to support why Elucien can't end up together. Because Elain "cringed" away. Even though Feyre has no idea exactly what Elain was cringing away from whether it was the jacket, Lucien himself, or simply any motion next to her. Because we are not given any idea where Elain was looking at that moment, whether she knew who was next to her.

And Elain, as if she’d been thrown by a wave, washed onto the stones facedown.

Elain sucked in a breath, her fine-boned back rising, her wet nightgown nearly sheer. And as she rose from the ground onto her elbows, the gag in place, as she twisted to look at me—

Elain was still shivering on the wet stones, her nightgown shoved up to her thighs, her small breasts fully visible beneath the soaked fabric. Guards snickered.

Lucien snarled at the king over the bite of the magic at his throat, “Don’t just leave her on the damned floor—” There was a flare of light, and a scrape, and then Lucien was stalking toward Elain, freed of his restraints. Tamlin remained leashed on the ground, a gag of white, iridescent magic in his mouth now. But his eyes were on Lucien as— As Lucien took off his jacket, kneeling before Elain. She cringed away from the coat, from him—

But even if she cringed away from Lucien in that scene or even "shrank further into herself" later on in the series (to which there is a valid argument to be made that Lucien sees too much of what Elain is trying to hide from herself and everyone else in terms of whether she's really happy in Velaris), you know why even that wouldn't matter?

Let's take it way back to Feysands first meeting :

something about the way he stood with absolute stillness, the night seeming to press in closer around him, made me hesitate to speak—made me want to run in the other direction.

I took a step back.

“Two ladies,” I lied again.

Had I just traded three monsters for something far worse?

I was terrified of him, but I wasn’t about to let him know.

I hurried back to the hollow, too aware of the fact that I was putting my back to him. I was grateful to lose myself in the crowd milling along the path to the cave, still waiting for some moment to occur. When I stopped shaking,

Not to mention elsewhere in the series.....

“Rhys used to smuggle in books and booze for me.” I cringed at the sound of his name. (this was AFTER Feyre realized they were mates).

Feyre was very uneasy around Rhys is there first meeting. Through that unease, she was still somewhat curious and called out to him but that doesn't change that she at first wanted to run in the other direction from him, that she lied to him because she was worried about what he might do to her.

Elain might have initially cringed away from Lucien which makes sense considering she had never met him and when every other person from that day had tried to cause her harm, it's an understandable reflex. But just as Feyre then called back out to Rhys, Elain allowed Lucien to hold her in his arms after that and only left him because Nesta forcibly removed her.

All these arguments about Elucien's / Gwynriels being problematic for their ship or why we're "Deluciens" who lack reading comprehension when the reality is it's almost too easy for us to prove why the arguments hold no weight so I'm not sure why anyone is still in using them.

Our parallels between other endgame couples are real parallels and not just ones where we search for key words without matching context.

While no one knows what SJM will do, I think it's pretty obvious that nothing about Gwynriel or Elucien's current setups are reasons why they can't be together

Male interested in another female at the start of the book? No problem, we saw it with Chaol.

Female interested in another male at the start of her book? Been there with Feyre.

Male doesn't consider female a friend and is her trainer? Rowan!

Male not able to fully see the female for who she is because he's distraught over the death of a lost love? Also Rowan.

Female choosing to hook up with males even though she knew from the start that Cassian meant something to her? Hey Nesta!

Female cringes / runs away from / is scared of the male? Looking at you Feyre.

Female can't stand to be the same room as him and refuses to talk to him? Nesta again.

While none of those are proof that Elucien / Gwynriel will end up together, they are proof that those pairings are still very much in the game.

#elucien #pro elucien #pro gwynriel #gwynriel #anti e/riel

[secretgamergirl]

Fascists getting impressively bold in asserting their alternate take on reality, example number some big number.

So when I looked at my phone today, I saw an alert pop up about a Times of London article about Judy Blume, and mostly it got me really concerned about what the hell installed itself on my phone without my consent that’s pulling headlines from some transphobic rag, but the short version is they ran a story about Blume being this full-throated supporter of J.K. Rowling’s horrific transphobia, which is just complete fiction, and she’s been spending the day running damage control with statements like these:

I’m going to circle back around to this, but on the off chance people follow me here who aren’t up to speed on this sort of propaganda, it’s been going on for quite a long time, particularly in this specific context of fascists completely fabricating stories about other authors supporting their uh... genocidal ambitions.

This sort of thing happens literally all the time. More often than not it happens with people who have been dead for decades or centuries so there’s more plausibility on going “well who’s really to say what this person would have thought about trans people? (Besides us, saying they’d be in favor of total extermination.) There wasn’t even a concept of trans people anywhere in the world before let’s say last Tuesday after all!” And like, they’ll do this with famous historical trans people. Like bigots were on this huge crusade to claim Dr. James Barry as a would-be supporter. Look him up.

They’ve been getting bolder with it though. Especially when it comes to beloved authors. Like, literally RIGHT after Terry Prachett died, a bunch of Nazi ghouls immediately started in on this weird campaign to claim him as a supporter. It uh, made a few headlines. Specifically it made a few headlines because he was very actively and vocally in support of trans people, as could be seen in books he’s written, the testimony of his family friends and coworkers, and you know, countless trans people he’d interacted with.

So then they started trying to pull this with authors who don’t quite have such a public history to be thrown back at them, and started getting really bold, claiming people who are still alive. Mostly just kinda trying to bait people with weird loaded questions like “hey, did you hear J.K. Rowling has tons of people bullying her lately, isn’t that messed up?” at the likes of Stephen King and Phil Pullman, who responded like you do when someone says that that hey, it’s not cool to bully people” and tada, here’s our headlines. Of course they PRETTY QUICKLY became aware that in this context “bullying” means “publishing factual accounts in the public record about her heavy involvement in a fascist collective with genocidal aims towards trans people” and walked that the hell back.

That sort of one-day-confusion from white guys in their 70s who haven’t been paying much attention to civil rights issues and absurd internet nazis is the closest these people can really get to a “win” here, and still aren’t really the best possible gets, so what about going with still living but probably not all that up with the times feminist writers? Like hey, what about Margaret Atwood? This sort of bigot’s all about calling cis women who don’t actively hate trans women “handmaidens” as a reference to her book, which they definitely read and understood, so that should work out, right? Not so much.

They had a similar strike out with Ursula LeGuin a while back. I don’t think they’ve quite been stupid enough to try and claim Madeleine L’Engle while her book with the non-binary angelic beings are helping kids fight against fascism was being made into a movie, but eventually they decided to come for Judy Blume, because... that makes sense when you’re this far removed from a reality.

So... those quotes above? Those aren’t things I went and dug up on my own. Those are straight off her social media feed, because she’s straight up furious bigots are trying to put words in her mouth on a topic she’s pretty clear about. And if you look at the responses those statements are garnering, it is some grade A cultist reality denial:

I could keep going with this, but, you know, these are intertwined with people shouting just utterly horrific hate speech at her and I don’t want to keep wading through hat sort of sewage just to find even more people directly replying to someone saying “I completely abhor your disgusting hate movement and have made my stance on this clear for years” with “no you don’t! You secretly agree with us! You’re just backpedalling in these... statements that don’t at all work with the timeline I’m using to cope!”

I don’t really have a greater point beyond demonstrating how just COMPLETELY GONE these people are, unwilling in any way to accept the truth of the world around them, that no, people don’t in fact agree with their hateful rhetoric, and no, children’s authors who right about being yourself do not, in fact, want children to be abducted and tortured until they act in a way complete monsters would prefer. Also a lot of them have carte blanche to print straight up lies in newspapers and use that pretty regularly.

#transphobia #JK Rowling #judy blume #cultists #propaganda

[selfless1978]

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Confrontation

How convenient. He saved her the trouble of hunting him down.

She had saved him for last, mainly because she didn't really know what to do with him. What could she do to get her revenge on this slug she had once loved? Vicky wasn't sure just yet, but she would be damned if she let this chance slip past her to snag an easy mark.

The engine of the bike revved up in the garage of the highly secure office building, wheelied, and then sped out into the night. The helmet hiding determined features. Soon. Soon her revenge would be complete and she could focus on more important things. Her children being one of them.

I've given up On society Up on my family Up on your social disease

Vicky pulled her bike to a stop a couple blocks away and dismounted. After she removed her helmet and set it carefully on the bike, she studied the building. It honestly wasn't much of a place. One of those cheap run down motels you take hookers to. She snorted in disgust. God her ex was so damn pathetic.

Still, she was mildly surprised that he booked something this far out of the city. He came here on vacation after all. Maybe this was all he could afford with his cheating, lying ass. wouldn't surprise her one bit.

I've given up On the industry Up on democracy Done with all your hypocrisy

A familiar figure stepped out of the front door....with another woman. Vicky saw red. He couldn't help her with their children but he could afford to take this tramp out on vacations? He hadn't even done that with her!

That settled things in her mind. He might not live after all. Vicky pulled up her mask and ran silently towards him. Making sure to stay in the shadows of the crappy street lights.

All of the chaos And all of the lies I hate it

There was a snarl under her mask as she drew closer. The pure fury at his transgressions rapidly pushing her good sense to the side.

Then, she was suddenly snapped back to reality and skidded to a stop.

I'm wasting here Can anyone Wash it all away?

Leonardo straightened from his crouched landing from the roof above. His eyes calmly watching her. "Well met, Vicky."

I'm waiting here For anyone To wash it all away

She literally hissed at him, the fury in her eyes now aimed at this interfering reptile. How did he.... Nevermind. He wouldn't get in her way. "Go away. This doesn't concern you."

"I'm afraid I can't let you do this."

"You should be afraid." Vicky laughed bitterly and mockingly. "How long did it take you to dig yourself out?"

He didn't say anything. Just kept watching her as he drew his katana. Leo full well knew she wasn't going to go down without a fight. But he wasn't here just to fight either.

Wash it all away!

They charged each other at the same time. Silent until their swords met with a metallic clash. Vicky's brown eyes glaring their hate over the blades. "Going to try and preach to me some more?"

"No." Leo's voice was calm as he pushed her back. "What good would it do?"

"None!" She snarled at him.

"Didn't think so."

Their blades met again. This time it was a flurry of clashes hitting so violently together that, just as last time, sparks flew all around them. If Leo had any doubts of her skill since their last meeting, they were quickly thrown out.

The biggest difference between this time and the last, was that he thought he understood her reasoning a bit better. In a way, he could sympathize with her. After reading her files, he also felt strangely disappointed at the world around them. After all, hadn't it intruded in his grieving period to bring this woman to his attention?

Vicky backflipped and landed on the roof of a car. Her long coat billowing out around her and flared down to rest around her as she locked those hard eyes on him.

Leo twirled a katana absentmindedly as he walked around the car. His eyes never leaving hers. "What if I told you, I can offer you something better than this life?"

She looked at him incredulously. "You can't be fucking serious." She began to laugh, genuinely laugh. "Oh, please. I'm not falling for that horseshit."

He didn't think she would, but he had to try. Her refusal only made him more determined.

I've given up On the media Feeds my hysteria Sick of living down on my knees

Vicky suddenly lunged at him. This time she led with thrown kunai, which he barely had time to slap out of the way before she was on him with another flurry.

She was definitely a quick one.

The tall woman fought with her anger and pain giving her strength. Unlike Raph's outbursts which usually got him into trouble, Vicky tightly controlled it, using it to her advantage. She was fearless as they fought. Leo was allowed not room for mistake. Despite being backed into a corner, she kept her wits about her and managed to evade his every attempt to pin her.

I've given up On morality Feeds my brutality Fuck what you think about me

For a moment, she gained the upper hand and managed to land a few cuts on his arms. Though nothing serious, it was enough to make the turtle retreat a few steps and regroup.

All of the chaos And all of the lies I hate it

The sneer reformed under her mask. He was just as weak as the system he fought for. Seeming so smug and righteous. Full of shit is what he was. Full of self smug, over lording things over her, shit!

I'm wasting here Can anyone Wash it all away?

He remained calm and focused. Leo could appreciate her skills much more now that he was better prepared for her. She had been trained well by who ever was her trainer. He wondered briefly about her seeming miraculous attributes before he pushed his curiosity to the side and refocused.

The fight was going mostly as he had hoped it would, with him leading her away from the street, away from the hotel, and into a more secluded place. Despite his insistence of dealing with her, he also didn't want innocent bystanders to get hurt. It was a very delicate balance he was forced to juggle at the moment. He genuinely wanted to help this woman stop her rampage but had so much more he also had to consider.

I'm waiting here For anyone To wash it all away

His ice blue eyes never showed any hate or malice towards her. Only a calm determination. Something he didn't know was beginning to unnerve her just a little.

But it was a start.

Wash it all away!

Vicky had to stomp hard on her feelings as she fought this seeming unshakable creature. She didn't see any of that angry annoyance from their first meeting. He was much more controlled now. It was like she was fighting a completely different individual.

Whatever. She still wouldn't just bow down to him either.

I won't change for you And I can't take the pain There's nothing you can do And there's nothing you can say

They broke apart, each stepping back a few paces to catch their breath. She eyed him full of hate while he gazed at her with something in his eyes she couldn't quite explain.

Compassion? Understanding?

For a brief moment, she began to doubt herself and her goals.

She violently shook those thoughts out of her mind before she charged in with a low scream full of her hate of the world around her.

I've given up On everything Up on everything Up on everything!

Her burst of renewed energy overwhelmed him for a moment and she was able to get the upper hand. Forcing him to roll back on his heels as he stood his ground, upsetting his balance. She brought her foot up in a roundhouse kick aimed at his head.

And he caught it....

Even though he was backed against a wall and off balance, he caught her foot.

He was the first individual since she had started her war on the world to actually get a hold of her.

Vicky felt a brief rush of panic. She forgot about hand to hand altogether and pulled out her sidearm, her intent to blast the offending arm.

And just as quick, he let go and spun out of the way as the bullet slammed into the wall where he had been just an instance before.

She had missed? This close to him!?

Vicky quickly gathered herself and spun to face him again. And he was just standing there, calmly watching her. A knowing, small half smile on his face.

He had managed to unnerve her, and he knew it.

Vicky's confidence was finally shaken.

I'm wasting here Can anyone Wash it all away?

The woman abruptly turned away from him and ran.

I'm waiting here For anyone To wash it all away

Leo didn't make any move to follow as he sheathed his katana. His eyes thoughtful as she fled.

Wash it all away!

Not long after, he heard her Motorcycle fire to life and tires squealing as she sped away.

I'm wasting here With everyone Just wash it all away

Vicky was shaking as she drove away, constantly looking in her mirrors to he if there was any pursuit.

There was none.

For some reason, this unnerved her more.

I'm waiting here For anyone To wash it all away

Leo reached a hand up to his earpiece and spoke a single worded question.

"Donnie?"

Wash it all away!

'Affirmative'

Wash it all away!

Only then did Leonardo allow a smile to form on his face.

@raphsweapondealer @raisin-shell @turtle-babe83 @avery73

#Youtube #Evil Vicky

[mirkwoodshewolf]

I’ll always be here; Eddie Munson x reader

*Author’s note*

Well it’s certainly been awhile but works kept me INSANELY busy plus the heatwave really affecting my brain in creativity but now that I’ve got some time, I’m gonna start doing some major updates to some WIP’s, not only in the request dept. but also trying to finish up my Celestial Hobbit story so that way I can start posting up what I’ve done so far for the LOTR sequel (already got like 6-7 good chapters of that).

Now this comes from an anon who wanted an Eddie Munson request. Now this can be viewed as either platonic or romantic (I’ll let you all decide) but just know this takes place roughly a bit after the events of s.3. So no real warnings except for canon violence, some horror jumpscare(?), mentions of torture, some swearing but overall EDDIE MUNSON FLUFF!!! Enjoy my lovelies and until next time!

Taglist:

@plethora-of-things​

@waddles03​

@psychosupernatural​

@ixchel-9275​

@queen-paladin​

@jd-johndeacon-or-jackdaniels​

@byersboys​

_________________________________________________________

I felt another punch across my face and the familiar numbness of a bruise forming on my cheek.

“We grow tired of your games. Tell us, who you work for? And this will all go away.” The Russian guard interrogated me.  I narrowed my eyes at him and spat in his face, this time blood spurting across his face.  He looked at me stoically before slapping me so hard, the chair collapsed to the floor and I panted.  “It would seem we need the heavy artillery.”

But something was different.  Two Russians began pulling in what looked like a large steel crate that held some kind of animal.  Wait, wait this-this isn’t how it played out. The cage rattled and I heard the familiar sound of the creature that was inside.

“No! No please! Don’t open that cage! I already told you I work at Radio Shack! What else do you want!?” but the Russians remained silent as one of them removed the locks from the cage and opened the door.  It was quiet and still and I couldn’t see anything but blackness inside the cage.

That was until the damn thing launched out at me with its face open wide and rows of teeth filled my vision.

I shot up gasping and panting as I looked around and saw that I wasn’t in the secret Russian base of the former Starcourt Mall.

“(Y/n)? You okay?” I groaned softly burying my face into my hands. “Hey, hey, hey whoa, whoa. Look at me.” I looked to my left and there sat Eddie as physically close as he could possibly be.  “Another nightmare.” He said more as a statement than a question.

“I knew this was a bad idea. I’ve been here a week and I’ve kept you up with my stupid nightmares.” I whined softly.

“Hey, first of all they’re not stupid. What you went through in that mall fire……god I can’t even imagine it. You’re lucky the worst thing besides the bruises was just your broken leg.” He said gesturing to my casted leg.

I had told him it was from a beam that had fallen on top of me when in reality it was because of the Mindflayer.  Like El, I had suffered a pretty nasty scar on my leg from it’s sharp, tendril clawed hand back at the mall.  It ran from the back of my knee right down towards my Achilles tendon. The doctors were surprised that I was able to survive let alone keep my leg with how deep the scars ran.

But it wasn’t a total loss.  Every day Eddie would come in with good proper food (which is basically junk food), some comic books, and his worn out copies of Tolkien’s books. Which he would read to me to cheer me up and not be so bored in my hospital bed up until I was able to be released.

“Second of all, you know I don’t mind you being here. I’ll always be here to look after you, just like I know…..”

“I’ll be there for you.” I finished.  That was our saying to one another ever since we first became friends. He leaned his head forward and pressed his forehead against mine.

“So what shall it be first? An early morning movie marathon or smoking our troubles away?”

“Movie marathon.”

“What her highness wants, her highness shall receive.” He said with a bow before handing me my crutches and headed out of the room to get our movie marathon started.  I steadied myself up and carefully maneuvered around his trailer until I got to the couch.

Eddie had just gotten done setting up the pillows for my leg, as I hobbled over, Eddie held out his hand and I took it as I slowly spun around and he helped me sit down on the couch.  I raised my leg and set it down on the pillows with a groan.

“Thanks Eddie.” I said.

“No prob, I live to serve.” He said with another low bow. “So what shall it be? Footloose? Risky Business? Or perhaps West Side Story?”

“But you hate those movies.” I said.

“I know, but you love them.” I placed my hand over my heart and cooed.

“Aww you do love me.”

“Do I know that? Yes, yes I do. Now come on, you’re the patient here, what shall it be?”

“How about this, we compromise by watching West Side first, and then we watch Scarface.”

“I like how you know my taste in violent movies. Deal.” He said going through the rented collection of films he got from Robin and Steve down at Family Video.  

As he started the video, he sat himself down beside my upper body and I wrapped my arms around his neck, one arm resting over his shoulders while the other stroked through his hair which made him lean back into me.

While watching the movie, my mind kept going back to the nightmare.  The Starcourt Mall wasn’t my first interaction with the ‘Curse of Hawkins’. I actually got involved with the Upside down a year after Will Byers had been found.  I had went to Dustin’s place since his mom called me to babysit him, when I nearly got attacked by his demodog that he named Dart.

Both him and Steve ended up saving my ass and from then on I became part of the group and learned the truth about what really happened to Will, got the DL on the new girl El, Hawkins lab, the Upside down, all that insane shit.  However it killed me to not tell Eddie about all this stuff (since we always told each other everything).

And now with my leg busted up for pretty much the rest of the summer and maybe even into the start of the next school year (boy is that gonna be hell), I can’t even tell him the real reason why it happened, and more importantly why I keep waking him up every night screaming and sweating.

“Eddie.” He turned up and looked up at me.  “I really am sorry.”

“For what?”

“For always waking you up. I-I wish I could tell you what happened that night but I just…..” I sighed heavily and turned away from him. I felt a hand underneath my chin as my head was turned back towards Eddie who looked at me with those deep, concerning brown eyes of his, and even emphasized his concern with that adorable puppy dog head tilt.

“I want you to listen and listen good, okay (Y/n)?” I gave him a soft nod.  “I know a thing or two about trauma, hell my whole life has been nothing but one trauma after another.” I gave him a soft glare.  “The point is, I know, at least through the shitty mental standpoint, of what’s going through your head right now. And I’m here to tell you, you’re not alone anymore. I’m here, and I’m not going anywhere. You don’t have to share every detail with me right this second. Like I said, you went through some serious shit in that mall fire. And there’s not a day that I don’t regret not having been there that day for you. I was planning on bringing you lunch since you didn’t have breakfast that morning.”

“All because someone wanted to have an Indiana Jones movie marathon.”

“But you forget you accepted the invitation to said movie marathon so you are just as much to blame as I am.” He reprimanded as he booped my nose.

“Yeah, yeah, yeah.” I muttered as I stroked through his hair.

“Anyways, I would’ve gone but then Gareth just had to ask me to help find a new snare for his drumkit and we had to make the drive outside of Hawkins for it. I may not have been there for you then, but I’m here for you now.”

“Thank you Nurse Munson.”

“That’s Doctor Munson to you little miss.”

“Oh yes right Doctor Munson, and what is my prescription Doc?”

“More watching your favorite movie and snuggles with your favorite trash panda.”

“You are not a trash panda!” I slapped his shoulder.

“Yes I am.”

“Alright if you’re one, then that makes me one too.”

“You can’t be one.”

“Why not?”

“Because you are too cute to be one.” He said placing his hand on the back of my head so that our foreheads were once again pressed against one another’s. “So I’m guessing you won’t be able to audition for the Spring Musical this year then, huh?” he asked me after a few minutes of silence of watching the Dance and the Gym scene now play out on the TV.

“Guess not. And such a damn shame, my last year and I can’t go out with a bang.”

“I know. I remember crying like a baby when you played Cinderella.”

“Ed that was when I was in 1st grade and you were in 3rd.”

“Well, still. You’ve always had the acting bug. I expect to see your name in the Hollywood stars one day. Alongside Harrison Ford, Carrie Fisher and even your star crush Mark Hamill. ‘Oh Mark you’re soo dreamy, take me away on your ship to a far off galaxy!’” he mocked the last part in a higher pitch trying to copy my voice.  I lightly smacked his shoulder as he snickered.

“Thanks for the distraction.”

“Figure I let you off easy this time. You know what I usually do to distract you from your negative thoughts.” He teased threateningly as he wriggled his fingers at me menacingly.  I grasped his hand in mine and pinned it to the couch.

“Thank god you’re showing mercy.”

“But I hope you realize that as soon as that cast is off, I’m gonna be making up for lost time.”

“I’m really hoping you don’t.”

“Oh but I must. Can’t have my beautiful, beautiful (Y/n) feel neglected now can I?” Eddie cooed as he nuzzled his face into my neck, his wild mane tickling my neck (which of course the big shithead knew).

“Eddie! I yield I yield!” I said through my giggles.  He let out a soft whine but removed himself off me.

“Well only because you’ve yielded to Eddie the Banished.” he gave me a quick peck to my cheek before taking my arms and wrapping them back around over his shoulders resting over his chest as we went back to the movie.  “Imagine if this were to be the musical of Hawkins ’86.”

“You trying to make me even more depressed Munson?” I asked.

“Absolutely not. It just means this would be the first year I won’t be able to see you take the lead as the lovely Maria.”

“Please, for this musical there’s only one role I would want. And that’s Anita. Rita Moreno is a queen in this film. Reminds me a lot of my Tia Gabriela.”

“Yeah, I remember when she came for a visit from New York. Woman scared the shit out of me.”

“She can be intimidating but she’s also loving. Remember for Christmas back in Middle school she made you that shawl with your band’s name on it.”

“I still have that you know. I never go to The Hideout without it stashed in my van. Gives me luck.”

“And I know she appreciates that. She always said you were her favorite.”

“Really?”

“Don’t let that go to your head Munson.”

“Too late, if I get the approval of such a wonderful woman like your aunt Gabriela, then I know I must be doing something right.” I shoved his head playfully as he snickered and we went back to the movie.

It’s probably best that Eddie be kept out of the whole Hawkins curse thing.  At least with him, he helps make the stress of what I’ve experienced the last year feel like things are still normal and that we’re not in some countdown to the end of the world.  And I’ll do whatever it takes to keep him in the clear from all that shit, God and Santa Maria above, at least give me that.

#eddie munson x reader #eddie munson #eddie munson imagine #eddie munson imagines #eddie munson fanfic #eddie munson fanfiction #eddie munson fluff #stranger things #eddie munson fandom #joseph quinn #joseph quinn imagine #stranger things fanfic #stranger things imagine #stranger things imagines #stranger things fandom #stranger things fanfiction #joseph quinn fanfiction #joseph quinn fanfic #stranger things x reader #eddie munson x female reader #joseph quinn x reader #joseph quinn imagines #netflix: stranger things

[happyandticklish]

OKAY SO LIKE

Ben and Devi from never have I ever and ❣️

❣ -Cackle

“Do it again.”

“Do what again?”

“Don’t play dumb Ben, we both know you’re smarter than that. The noise you made. Some might go so far as to call it a laugh.”

Ben scoffed, rolling his eyes. The two had decided to meet for a study session in the library, something that before would have made Ben sick to his stomach, but now merely sent butterflies racing through it. Sure, doing homework might not have seemed that risqué to a normal person, but for him and Devi, it was practically the equivalent of tongue kissing in front of an audience. To ask to do it at the library, a public place where people could see them, was new and exciting and Ben was terrified he’d blow it. 

Despite that, for the first bit, things had gone great. Devi was actually pretty smart, and flew through the pages of their textbook with a speed that had even him impressed. He’d gotten so distracted merely watching her that he’d forgotten their original purpose here. A sharp poke to the side brought him flailing back to reality however, and now he was forced to make up for it in the form of Devi’s piercing gaze. 

“Look, it was nothing, okay,” Ben insisted, snatching one of the scattered books off the ground and flipping to a random page. It was some lengthy document on WWII that he forced himself to scour intently, if only to avoid her gaze. “You just surprised me that’s all.”

“Uh-huh. You know Ben, you really are a terrible liar.”

"I have no idea what you’re talking abohOHOUT!”

His words spiked into a panicked shriek as she poked him again, and again, and again, both hands working double-time to send him into a frankly embarrassing fit of giggles. He dropped his book to try to fend her off, but Devi’s fingers were surprisingly good at evasion as she dodged around his hands and scribbled over his stomach, a spot he discovered in the moment to be stupidly ticklish.

Because he was. Ticklish. Perhaps a little bit. He hadn’t intended on Devi of all people finding that out, but he couldn’t find it in himself to be that upset about it. Embarrassed, maybe. Flustered, one could even say. Bolder people might even dare assume that he was excited about this turn of events. 

Those people would be wrong, obviously.

“DehehEHEHevi!” he shrieked, falling over as she clambered on top of him, poking at any available skin she could find, which was a lot to be fair. He doubled over when she returned to his sides once more, the spot that had started this whole mess, and cackled frantically as he desperately tried to cover the area to failing efforts. “Wahahait, wahait, wait!” 

“Wait for what?” Devi smirked, climbing her fingers slowly up his ribs. “We have all day to study, I’m sure we can make some time for this. Besides, I can’t believe you’ve been hiding the fact that you’re ticklish from me. That can’t go unpunished.”

“Buhuhuhut—gahaha ihihihit tihihihickles!”

“Good to know. I wonder how much it would tickle if I went here? Or maybe here? Or perhaps even here?”

Nails fluttered traitorously over his neck, and Ben nearly threw her off then and there as a bolt of sensation went zig-zagging down his spine. But he didn’t. For some reason, inexplicable to even him, he stayed, and let her fingers slowly turn him inside out until he could hardly form words let alone protests. 

Later, he would figure out what that meant. For now, he was content to laugh and squirm until the librarians came over to remove them from the library for causing a ‘disturbance’. 

-

Dude when I tell you I actually made a stupid excited noise when I saw this that made my family look at me weird, like, I've been waiting for someone to request something from Never Have I Ever for so long, you have no idea. I love these two dorks so much <3

#tickle fic #never have i ever #drabble #asks #answered ask #ask game #fanfiction #tickling #ben gross #devi vishwakumar #ben x devi

[iviarellereads]

Harrow the Ninth, Chapter 25

(Curious what I'm doing here? Read this post! For detail on The Locked Tomb coverage and the index, read this one! Like what you see? Send me a Ko-Fi.)

(Ninth House icon) In which Harrow cooks soup and spawns a fandom meme.

Harrow tattles to Teacher that she saw Ortus kissing Cytherea, she swears it by the Locked Tomb. He says she shouldn't swear by that in this particular instance.(1) She wants to say that he also broke her bone wards, that she hasn't slept in forty-eight hours, but she can't. John says the Saint of Duty is "legendarily unamorous". He suggests that Harrow do something normal. Learn to make a meal, read a book, take time to rest. In this moment, Harrow knows that he doesn't understand her.

Still, she can do something. She asks Ianthe how to make soup, and she practices several times.

On the third day post-confrontation, Ianthe is given an ultimatum by Augustine: five more days, and if she hasn't started using her sword arm properly by then, he's giving up on training her, because if he wanted pity-cases, he'd teach Harrow. Harrow doesn't even react, just looks at her knife, fork, and spoon, and tries to remember which one is for which purpose.(2)

After 126 hours without sleep, Harrow prepares supper for everyone. Everyone eats the soup, though Ianthe and August have complaints about the blandness(3) but Augustine is eager to try a different cook's perspectives after ten thousand years of the same. Mercy calls the soup mediocre, and Harrow says innocently that she followed a recipe. August asks if it was one of Cassiopeia's, and remembers a time early on when she accidentally removed part of a finger while cooking, and left it in, and didn't tell anyone. He tells Harrow to confess if something like that happens, before they eat. Harrow flinches, but tries to smile and play it off. When they finish, August asks what the meat is.

It takes Harrow a moment to find the word, as she works through the theorems in her head, but finally she comes to it.

"Marrow," you said. The Saint of Duty exploded outward as your construct emerged from his abdomen. Your soup was watery and mediocre, as soup went, but as a delivery method for gelid explosives--marrow rendered through so much water as to not pass comment--it was perfect. Half a dozen arms shattered him in the soft electric light from the overhead panels. You let out your breath, and coalescing scythes destroyed intestines--lungs--heart. Then you fired upward, toward the brain. And God said, "Stop." The world slowed down.

Even August and Mercy stop halfway in the process of rising from their seats, but the shrapnel of the explosion of Ortus the First's torso does not.(4) God says it's been ten thousand years since he last ate human flesh and he didn't expect an encore. He asks for an explanation. Harrow says Ortus is trying to kill her, and here's God defending Ortus and not her. He asks how long since she slept. She admits to six days.

The Emperor of the Nine Houses stood. The spell, whatever it had been, dropped like a white sun setting. Your body collapsed back into your chair. The construct [...] dwindled to a powder of pink dust. [...] The concatenation of Ortus the First's insides, laced and crocheted over the dinner table, sizzled away to a soft mist. Everyone's breath spewed from their lungs in one unholy gasp. Ortus's hands flew to his middle.

The Emperor dismisses everyone from supper except Mercy, and tells Ianthe to escort Harrow to bed. As they leave, Harrow decreasingly sure of reality, she overhears a snippet.

Behind you, the Kindly Prince was saying, in far more ominous tones than you had ever heard him use: "Six days. No sleep. She still manages a full skeleton commencement from diluted marrow. What else have you failed to see, Mercymorn-?"(5) You were already at the door when her peevish response came: "But this is insane! She's only nine years old!"

The Saints of Duty and Patience stand in the corridor. If either wants to kill Harrow, she can't stop them. But, August just lights a cigarette, looking like he's seen a ghost, and passes it to Ortus, who raises it to Harrow in an unmistakable salute.(6)

=====

(1) Why shouldn't she swear by the Locked Tomb for this, in particular? Because it involves a corpse? (2) Sleep deprivation setting in. (3) The return of Harrow's dislike of strong flavours! I love this character trait, as I believe I've said before. (4) This is a fascinating exertion and demonstration of his power as a God. We've seen necromancy do some big weird stuff, but nothing quite like this. (5) So, Mercy wasn't exactly a willing supervisor to Harrow. She was asked, perhaps commanded, to examine and report. (6) You gotta admit, you'd respect the hell out of someone who did what Harrow did. If only out of self-preservation.

#the locked tomb #tlt #harrow the ninth #htn #harrow the ninth spoilers #htn spoilers #harrowhark nonagesimus #emperor john gaius #ianthe tridentarius #augustine the first #mercymorn the first #ortus the first

[wandaluvstacos]

Chapter 23 of Good Investment is now up on my Patreon!

Good Investment is available at the $5/month tier. People who pledge $5 a month have access to not only Good Investment but The Sponsors series (ongoing), Pretty Things (complete), May the Blood Run Pure (complete), and Kept Man (complete), along with the $1/month tier books, the Reflections trilogy (ongoing) and The Halfwife (ongoing).

Adri Schvaneveldt has always felt split between two worlds. In one world, they are the adopted child of a large and conservative Mormon family. In another, she is the CEO of a burgeoning fashion empire that pushes boundaries. But in order to be the latter, Adri first has to find the funding. After gaining a hefty following as a social media influencer/model, Adri has the potential customers– if they can get a reliable production model pounded out. And that means a bit of groveling at the feet of investors, most of who have never even heard the term “non-binary”.

But Adri lucks out with Gideon Snow, whose youth and open mind bring much needed funds to make Adri’s dream of diverse, accessible fashion a reality. Of course, lifting a newborn company to its feet is no small task, and late nights drive Adri to occasional stays at Gideon’s nearby house, where their relationship begins stretching beyond business. Adri knows they can’t put an entire business venture at risk for the turbulent whims of their heart. But reason doesn’t always win out.

Excerpt:

“Sore loser,” he said with a smile. When he saw Adri struggling to unlatch a heel clip on her snowboard, he adjusted his position on his skis and removed a mitten to assist. Once Adri’s foot was out of its binding, she reached up, grabbed his sleeve, and yanked him off balance until he collapsed into the snow next to her. With a giggle, Adri jumped to her feet and shuffled off toward the ski lift. The competition was brief, because Adri didn’t want to ride the lift up next to a stranger, so she waited by the ski lift until Gideon had pushed himself up and glided over to her.

“Who knew you played so dirty?” Gideon asked.

“It’s the entrepreneurial spirit,” Adri replied with a smirk.

“Just for that, I’m kicking your ass again on the way back down.”

“I was going easy on you before. Guess I’ll have to actually try next time.”

“Very funny.” They were waved forward toward an upcoming bench before it swept them off their feet and up the mountainside. Adri couldn’t help but reach out and adjust Gideon’s hat, which was one head tilt away from falling off his head.

“Thanks,” Gideon said, knocking a ski against her snowboard with a smile. Adri’s throat tightened and she resisted the urge to grab his hand.

They ended up taking full advantage of their ski lift tickets, because it was dark by the time they called it quits, turned in their rentals, and headed back to the resort area. Snowboarding had been exactly what Adri had needed to distract herself from her family situation, and right now all that felt incredibly far away. She couldn’t help but stare at Gideon as he talked about an unfortunate conversation with his uncle Christmas Eve, but she wasn’t listening to a word he said. She was more focused on his hair, which was damp from sweat and snow and sticking in every direction. It made him look about ten years younger, and Adri had to hold her own hand to keep herself from reaching out to fix it. She was really getting herself into trouble by staying the night at Gideon’s cabin, but she felt too happy and exhausted to care. With Gideon she felt safe—away from the deadnaming and misgendering that had been of her own doing back at home. The anxiety that had been clawing at her insides the past few days settled down into a warm and soothing calm in the pit of her stomach, and she’d do whatever it took to keep it there.

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