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#because im the literal worst about sitting on things
rivilu · 4 months
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Hey hello can i be sad on main or will the heavens unleash 7 thousand ravenous hawks upon me
#river rambles#vent post#tw for basically everything bellow just saying it now#sorry the last 8 years of not a single reason to live are getting to me <3#i hate being alive i hate being trans I hate being autistic and not able to work like a normal person#to provide my transition to myself instead of having to rely on parents that kiind of support me? (dad) or are straight up pulling -#the 'you're making MEEE SUICIDAL!' card (mom)#i hate not being able to talk to people like a normal person#it's not even just the autism anymore i feel like i've been the worst version of me for such a long time i dont even know where to start#dysphoria is so fucking bad and getting worse every single day and any semblance of trans positivity winds up feeling toxic#like even body neutrality feels like an insult. im at a point where i want to tear myself apart just when i'm sitting still#i hate being told to wait for things to happen#the dreaded 'it'll get better'#it hasnt#it's been EIGHT. FUCKING. YEARS#nothing helps. i've exhausted every option within reach. no words of encouragement help at all#literally the only OPTION is to wait. and i've had! ENOUGH OF IT!#I've dreaded pride every year because it feels more and more like i'm living a lie being there. im not PROUD of being trans.#All i feel about it is misery. All the time. I hate my body so fucking much i cant do a single thing i want to do#most of my early years after figuring out im trans i tried to just ignore it and focus on pride about my sexuality#since i couln't transition then anyway#but as time went on and i became an adult and there's still not a single glimpse of light on the horizon. I can't focus on it anymore#because you know. those things are interconnected. So now i just feel like an unlovable piece of shit!#Like i will never be what i was meant to be. what i want to look like.#and i dont even want to try for any manner of relationship before that . because even if anyone DID like the current version of me#that's not even me#birth is a curse and existence is a prison etcetera
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the agonies are getting to me tonight because i'm finally taking the steps to doing something i'm good at & have wanted to do since i was really young and my family couldn't care less about it, and it's just another harsh reminder of how Things are and how they'll always be.
it is so difficult to exist around other people who don't relate to this too. i mean like Growing up with serious serious emotional neglect. i've been dismissed, walked over, yelled at, emotionally tormented, abused, gaslit and humiliated my entire life by my family and even through all the convincing i've done for myself that their approval and their attention is the last thing i could ever want or need, i still NEED it so bad like i need fucking air or something! i think about my childhood self showing my mother a drawing, a sims house i built or a story i wrote or anything i did and only getting her criticism, and it's so small and silly, but the things i was always so proud of and wanted her to know about she could only tear apart, and then tell me i was overreacting and too sensitive anytime i confronted her on how she hurt my feelings.
it turns into the most ridiculous, soul-sucking cycle. because years and years of being shunned and shut down and the endless horrors lol of the years and years and yearrrrs passing me by Of having to shut myself down completely just to survive and where do i end up. right here. and right here is where theres no relationship with me and my family, because how could there be after all of that? i didn't see my dad for years and he never tried to protect me from what was going on or tried to reach out, or know me, my whole life i barely remember a conversation we could've had, or whether he cared about anything i liked growing up, or cared about me enough to talk to me about it. and my mothers emotional neglect and abuse left our relationship like this. and they don't know anything about me because of all this lol. at the end of the day my whole family says it's my fault that none of them can get close to me but how could they literally EVER ever ever get close to me after spending my whole entire LIFE avoiding knowing me. but it's my fault because i 'pushed them away' I will literally never heal from the years that were taken from me from the childhood that was taken from me From the person i couldve been had it not been for what my family did to me and i will never ever ever experience the love and attention other people get to experience I will never have proud parents
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It's a Match! || poly!141 x Reader
[Chapter 31] || [Chapter 33]
Pairing: Gaz x gn!Reader || Ghost x gn!Reader || 141 x gn!Reader Words: 1.3K~ cw: not angst but a bit 'angsty', fluff fluff fluff. Summary: While overcoming recent heartbreak, you decide to join Tinder in search of a rebound. Your friends advise to just Swipe Right indiscriminately... What happens when 4 soldiers from the same squad match with you? a/n: This one made me all emosh to write ngl.
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Chapter 32: No Harm Done.
You're sitting by the sliding glass door leading out to the balcony on Sunday morning, looking out and holding a warm drink in your hands.
It's raining outside. It's always raining in England, so it shouldn't really surprise you... but it still feels like a lazy, down-sort of day regardless.
You're home alone. Johnny went to base for P.T. and a meeting of sorts, while Kyle went out to the gym himself, giving you some time for yourself.
Your phone sits in front of you, fingers tapping away, back-and-forth, between chats with friends and with the lads, your lads.
Ghost said they'd text you to let you know when they were back, a promise they'd made after they sort of just turned up at your door all injured and hurt without warning so many weeks ago.
It feels like it's been an eternity since you had them all here.
Your eyes find your chat with Simon, flittering over the last couple of texts you sent each other. Right before the boys left on their newest mission.
Regardless of what Kyle and Johnny say about Simon, he's actually the best texter out of all of them... John being the worst.
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simon: Have about 5 minutes before we have to go. you: will u be safe? simon: Always am sweetheart. simon: Don't you worry about me. you: i meant ALL of you. you: and of course i worry about u! simon: If it was about all of us, you wouldn't be messaging me separately. simon: And I appreciate it but you shouldn't. you: i hate how smart u are. you: u face death literally every day in your job simon: And I always come back. you: okay but im allowed to worry no? you: youd worry about the others too? simon: I guess so. simon: But I'll be fine. you: u dont know that. simon: I know enough. simon: Been doing this for over a decade. you: that's not reassuring the way you think it is. simon: You're very worried. Is this because of what I said?
That text makes you set down your phone when you read it again, your face warm with embarrassment at the reminder, just like it had been during that text exchange as it was happening.
He had told you he loves you. Two of them had by now.
The thought of that still makes you shiver, the words so full of emotion and vulnerability when Simon said them, never any pressure on you, just a gesture on his end.
you: maybe? simon: That's really cute of you. simon: Don't let it make you worry or overthink. simon: I'll make sure I come back to you. you: si... simon: GTG ✋ simon: Will text you when I touch down.
Kyle's, however, were a lot less vulnerable. They were sweet, sudden, driven by happiness and amusement...
Both of them came out of left field and caught you off-guard.
Both of them felt just as real, however.
You took a sip of your warm drink and glanced out of the window again, watching the droplets slide down the glass panes.
You can't help but think about how things have been going for you.
Is this becoming too much? Is it going too far? Did you finally lose the plot?
When did a silly little Tinder account you made with your friends while fighting heartbreak become a 4-way relationship and 2 out 4 men telling you they're in love with you?
You're lost in thought when the door opens behind you, Kyle making his way in.
"Hey, lovie." He greeted, causing you to jump a bit, spilling some of your drink over the glass top of the table.
"Ah, fuck." You complained as you reached for the napkin holder and started mopping up the liquid. "Hi, Ky." You added as you cleaned the mess you made.
"Sorry, did I catch you off guard?" He asked as he approached the table and began to help you.
"Yeah..." You murmured and looked up at him, finally, finding him in a grey sleeveless hoodie and black workout shorts.
You smiled softly at him as you gathered the wet napkins and moved to the kitchen to dispose of them.
Kyle seemed to catch the look in your eyes as you glanced up at him. "What's wrong? You seem strange..." He asked as you followed you into the kitchen.
"Just thinking, it's nothing." You told him as you turned after throwing out the rubbish, only to find him standing right behind you, looking at you with scrunched brows.
"Is this about yesterday?" He asked you softly. "Was it too early?" He added in earnest.
The memories of the day before come back to you sharply. The way, after he told you he loved you, you sputtered for a bit, your face burning up, your eyes wide...
And how you had come back home together, your nose still pink, his cheek still red, the both of you looking embarrassed and sheepish, avoiding eye contact and biting your lip.
How Johnny had teased the two of you, thinking you had gotten down and dirty in the car and that's why you had come home looking so embarrassed...
You look up at him with a sigh and shake your head. "No, it's just..." You trailed off.
"Was it because Soap teased us after we came back?" He reached forward and gently ran a hand over your cheek.
"No!" You added and sighed, leaning into his palm, and gently holding his forearm in your hand.
"I'm just worried... I've never... been in something like this before." You explained, as you looked into his eyes. "More than one partner and-"
Kyle nodded at you, watching you with understanding eyes and a soft gaze, like he wanted you to keep talking, communicating.
"I don't know how to act about this... I don't know..." You trailed off and looked away for a moment. "It's... a strange feeling."
"To love more than one person at once?" He asked you as his brows raised in inquiry.
You nodded in response and looked up at him. "Yeah... And to... have them love me back."
"So I wasn't the first to tell you, huh?" Kyle asked, having caught the way you mentioned 'more than one person' when it came to 'loving you back'.
Your face burned up hot in embarrassment and you shook your head at him.
"Simon was." You replied, which made Kyle's eyes widen and then a smile take over his lips as he shook his head.
"Wasn't expecting that..." Kyle admitted as he caressed your cheek again.
"Did you say it back for him? Like you did for me?" He asked and you nodded your head in reply.
"Well..." Kyle trailed off, seemingly lost in thought for a moment, as if pondering what to say, and how to say it. "It's not exactly a bad feeling, is it?"
You shook your head. It wasn't a bad feeling. In fact, you quite liked having said the words, having had the words said to you.
"Then, I'd say there's not a big cause for worry. We all knew this would happen, right?" He added. You, once again, nodded at him.
Gently, he cupped your face with both hands, his thumbs rubbing your cheeks. "Then, let's just... let it be." He chuckled.
"You and I love each other. You and Simon love each other. I love Simon too..." He admitted with a shrug. "No harm done, right?"
Smiling a bit more, you ended up nodding and gently pushed up, kissing him slowly and deeply, both of your eyes closing, his hands caressing your face, your hands caressing his forearms...
You're so into the kiss, you don't hear the front door close, nor Johnny approach, until he shows up at the kitchen door. "Greedy bastard, leave some space for the Tav, will ye?"
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taglist (CLOSED! not adding anyone else, sorry!):
@daisychainsinknots , @bunnysdaydreams , @iite-cool , @lahniu , @pagesfalling ,
@tapioca-milktea1978 , @live-love-be-unique , @thelaisydazy , @littleghosthunter , @bossva ,
@emotion-no-hot-yes-hotel-trivago , @chamomiletealeaf , @ghosts-hoe , @kariiiel , @ltbarnes ,
@irregulardongyoung , @spacelia , @hayleybarnesx , @cod-z , @frescoisnotinthemilitary ,
@leeeenistop , @lucienbarkbark , @xxshadowbabexx , @severenswife , @enarien ,
@l0lziez , @whos-fran , @greatstormcat , @openup-yourmind , @neoarchipelago ,
@sodavrr , @cutiecusp , @lilliumrorum , @c-nstantine , @kneelforloki ,
@comeonatmebruh , @codsunshine , @waiting-so-long , @captainquake42 , @gazspookiebear ,
@mynameismisty , @reap3erslov3 , @reaper-chan666 , @poohkie90 , @kitwithnokat ,
@stick-the-dumbass , @mothsdrabbles , @justanerd1 , @thesinsoflust , @thriving-n-jiving ,
@blckbrrybasket , @agoodmoviekiss
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bigfatbimbo · 2 months
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saw ur post ab the vees and i wasn't sure if u wanted nsfw rambles or sfw rambles so like... i'll send the sfw rambles in a separate ask 😭
anywaysss im thinking ab putting them all in their place.... maybe they're all arguing over you or being pissy to eachother in general so you punish them all- seperately ofc, u cant have them getting off in eachothers pleasure bc ik damn well they'd be into watching you fuck someone else especially another one of the vees
i am always willing to rant about the vees🙏🙏🙏
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summary — The Vees being humbled by the reader in the form of loose, unprofessional headcanons and vague thoughts.
warnings — dom reader, sub… everyone else, very messy, not proofread, read at the risk of incoherence
a/n — I HATE THEM SO MUCH!! THEY’RE THE WORST!! Let’s as a society fuck them to tears.
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So, unpopular opinion, I’ve see a few ideas of being the vees collective lay or ‘plaything’ fucktoy, and the idea is so much more fun with a dom reader.
And i’m saying that objectively too, like not just as a dom reader blog. Because these are three people who make up the worst aspects of society, and lowkey are basically just manipulation tactics personified. Propaganda the trio!
Looking at these cocky assholes, who are the embodiment of what is considered terrible people, and who all have unmatched mathematically impossibly high egos, would it just be so fun to fuck the pride out of them?
Especially, for example, let’s say you’re around a lot and you’ve become a trusted person a good fuck for the Vees. They all have terrible attention seeking tendencies, so it would be safe to assume they’d be all over you.
Vox would be trying to talk to you about whatever particular subject he thinks is most interesting (about himself) to capture your attention, while Velvette would be close to you as well, flicking her phone your direction to show you something she finds funny or hot, but mainly as a subtle power-play to get your attention off Vox and onto her.
Valentino would be much less subtle, of course, by nature. He’d be all up around you, touching you, running his hands along your shoulder blades as he walks past, and probably the type to ‘drop something’ and bend over to flash you his fishnets and panties.
Needless to say, they’re all pissing each other off immensely. Obviously, being short tempered people, this leads to an argument because Velvette was ‘talking to you first’ but Vox had ‘actually important things to say’ and according to Valentino ‘the two of you were boring them out of their minds’ and he had to ‘spice your day up.’
Unfortunately for the Vees, you don’t do your one ‘job.’ Your attention isn’t given to any one of them. Yet. You just simply sit on the couch, scrolling through your phone and flicking through channels. Maybe you even actually leave the tower and go eat out or something.
Of course, until later when you pick them off one by one. And no matter who you decide to fuck senseless first, they will be so obviously loud just to be petty because, after all, you did choose them first. Like they would be being obnoxiously vocal about how ‘full they are’ or how ‘you’re going so fast!’ or some other fake shit like that. It’s honestly a whole show. Now, I feel like fucking all of them at the same time is kind of inevitable, because they’re all deprived horny freaks on the lowkey. (Except for Val it’s very highkey.) But I think there would be little mannerisms that appear on one on one sessions that they would NEVER show during a foursome. For example, Vox’s certain… titles he uses. mommy kink mommy kink mommy kink. Because he would literally die before calling you mommy or daddy in front of Velvette or Val. It’s okay when it’s just you because it’d be easier to be vulnerable around someone he trusts to set his dominance fully aside for.
And like, yeah, the other Vees know he gets fucked just like the rest of them, but it’s simpler for him to keep his illusion of dominance and respect out side of the bedroom, if the more shamefully submissive aspects of himself stayed hidden.
Also, I think Valentinos would have an easier time actually giving into to subbing during one on one sessions. Like yes, he does sub when it’s with you all the time. That’s the point of the fic.
But he’s less of a power bottom, and his flirtatious, incredibly disgusting remarks subside much faster into whimpers and whining.
Because, although less professional than Vox, he does still have an image. And when it’s just you fucking him, his vile horny comments disappear into whines for your attention in no time. Well actually a lot of time, but the point is that they actually do. And similar to Valentinos, Velvette’s confidence when bottoming alone with you is increasingly less apparent. Yea, she’s still bossy and definitely a power bottom, but there’s more of a recognition that she isn’t in charge. Honestly, she’s such a princess I think she’d actually have a very hard time going into subspace, even when alone. Because degradation just pisses her off. Why aren’t you worshipping her like you should be? But then it’s, what the fuck, why aren’t you worshiping her like you should be?? It makes her brat out even harder, which she does show in front of the other Vees, until she’s actually just needy to be pleased and given pleasure, making her twice as whiny. That aspect she does not show in front of the vees. But let’s talk about group sex with the Vees. Probably only used as a severe punishment, or a surprisingly giving reward. I have a very particular scene for the severe punishment aspect, however. So they’ve all been bad, but let’s say, for the sake of specifics to set the scene, Val has been worse. It is still a punishment for Vox and Velvette, but punishing them all to the same extent when Val has misbehaved clearly more would be wrong, would it not? They’re all greedy, selfish assholes, so you’ve concocted the perfect form of torture for your useless brats; they don’t receive anything until they’re good. Especially Val. Velvette has a strap on, so she can’t even feel anything but minor friction when you slide your worked open ass onto the plastic dick and open your legs, exposing your empty pussy to none other than Vox. He eats you out reluctantly, while rutting into the mattress as fast as he could, all while you cockwarm (and sometimes roll your hips to press the strap against her pussy uncomfortably) Velvette. Oh, and where’s Valentino? Tied up in a chair in front of the bed, getting a perfect shot while being totally naked and hard. You have a gag in his mouth too, because otherwise he’d be complaining the whole time. Because that’s just not fair, is it? He does this all day for a living. Seriously, he watches people fuck all day. It was his turn to feel something! And you would only have punished him more if he’d done something about this at work today. (Yikes..) I mean, this sounds like complete and utter bullshit. A lose-lose situation! But, it actually is completely fair. And as you’re receiving all the pleasure, from Velvettes feelingless, fake dick, Vox’s tongue while he humps the bed pathetically, and Val’s whines in complaint, you know the punishment is working. You’ve bothered them behind belief, you’ve hit a spot you knew would leave a message. Because none of the attention is on our poor little trio at all. These naturally selfish, greedy people, have to finally give. And god, they’re becoming more desperate for your attention and praise by the second.
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a/n — We all know I love sub Vox. But this opened by eyes to how much I love sub Velvette and Valentino. REQUEST THEM ALL MORE.
Also, Rose, I CAN ALWAYS COUNT ON YOU FOR A FIRE ASF PROMPT.
if this flops im throwing myself out of a window btw
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death2you · 2 years
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HRNEFRHGRJAGNPEOWFNDSGFPI;JEROAGDFGJIOERA;GJDFIGMRPOEANGJFDIHGJ;EOAWPGJKGIFP
#this comment is RIGHT on certain things but so misguided on other things. i just. okay. im sitting down.#first i love the idea of the last sentence on frank and his blight cosmetic: him consuming everybody 'good' around him and bringing them-#down with them. like that is so good & could be right and i certainly dont Disagree with it but like.#julie?? she also liked killing. she liked murdering people. she was one of those true crime girlies who had weirdo levels of knowledge#about murders & murderers and definitely fantasized about committing and getting away with murder#esp in the tome cutscene frank just hands the knife to her and she takes it willingly. she just takes it without much resistance unlike#joey and susie who actively cowered away in fear and had to be convinced.#AND she was the first one to even say that she wanted to 'paint the town red' to frank. she was the first person to bring up the idea.#now i dont Disagree that eventually frank probably would have convinced the rest of the group to then do illegal acts but julie very much#had the idea to do it first. at least im pretty sure. im confident.#also are we ignoring the fact that susie literally murdered a guy during chinese new year just cus she wanted his jacket.#ALL OF THEM ARE BAD!!!! just differing levels. i dont agree w/ the idea that frank is worst out of them all.#actually. i cld argue that Joey is the only truly innocent one out of the four and thats Not because i have special feelings surrounding#him. no maam. i am not biased.#but yeah um sorry for the long tags i just have a lot of thoughts about dbd legion and i love talking about them#95
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whrsmym1nd · 1 year
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a dead man
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pairing: mcu!peter parker x stark!f!reader
warnings: smut (mdni), peter loving readers tits, making out, fingering, handjob, unprotected piv, praise
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peter and you were sneaking into your father's -tony starks- lab just because he told you not to.
"come on, let's go back...it's a bad idea."
peter said, sounding stressed.
"pete, you always back out at literally everything. like what's the worst that could possibly happen" you said as you both stepped into the lab.
when you were both inside the doors you came in closed, the other exits following.
you looked at your friend which was looking scared as ever.
"i may have forgotten about the security thing... we're gonna be trapped in here for a while, pete."
"how long of a while..?"
"like, um, till dad wakes up and unlocks the doors."
he just stared at you. he looked a bit mad but there was nothing he could do so he just sat onto the floor and petted the floor asking for you to sit with him.
you softly sat next to him and put your head on his shoulder.
"im sorry, peter."
"no, it's ok. don't worry."
"since we're gonna be stuck here for a few hours we might as well get comfy cause this is gonna be a long long night." you said as you reached back and undid your bra and took it off.
"what are you doing?!" peter whisper yelled.
"we're gonna be here for hours, pete! and this bra fucking hurts."
you threw the bra on the floor then laid down and placed your head on peter's thigh and closed your eyes, trying to relax a bit.
his cheeks started to redden and his pants tightened when he saw your nipples showing through your white tank top.
you felt his thigh flex under your head and opened your eyes to see peter staring at your tits with wide eyes and a red face.
"what? you've never seen boobs or something" you joked but peter turned his head away avoiding eye contact like he was embarrassed.
"i mean, i- no. not in real life..." he let out with a huff.
you didn't know what to say. it's was ok that he never did anything intimate with someone because you haven't too but you expected him to see boobs.
"well... wanna see mine?" you asked after a long and weird silence.
"wha- really?"
"mhm... i mean if you want to it's not a big deal."
he opened his mouth to answer but then just nodded. his face was redder than ever and he looked like he was holding his breath.
you sat up and got infront of peter. your body was close to his and you could feel heat radiating from him.
you grabbed the hem of your shirt and lifted it up. his mouth fell open and his eyes got wide. he looked like at your tits like they were the 8th miracle of the world.
he slightly raised his hand and asked
"c-can i?"
you just nodded to confirm his want.
both of his hands pressed against you. his cold hands against your warm body made you shiver and your nipples harden a bit more. he lightly squeezed the flesh of meat in his hands making you quietly moan. his touch got more intense and he toyed with both of your nipples between his index and thumb, which increased the volume of your moans.
"pete- fuck!"
"can i kiss you?" he asked, still looking hypnotized.
you answered by just smashing your lips against his.
it was unsteady and messy. your tongues danced together and your teeth clashed. you guys kissed like it was long awaited, like you were both waiting for this moment your whole life. your legs straddled his torso as you sat on his lap.
"i've waited so long for this." he confessed.
"there is nothing to stop you ,us, now."
he connected both of your lips again as he toyed with your shorts. he quietly asked for you to get rid of them which you gladly complied. you were left in just a pair of little panties and when he was fully dressed.
"it's not fair you take of your clothes too."
"oh! right, right, yeah."
he took of his shirt and the view infront of your eyes didn't disappoint. he was surprisingly toned and muscular. you ran your fingers over his abs and happy trial.
his pants followed. you could see his hard on pressed against his boxers which made your mouth water.
"you're just...wow, pete."
he chuckled and thanked you.
his hand found its place on your back and laid you onto the floor. he dipped his head down and wrapped his lips around your nipples and sucked and licked on them making you a whimpering mess. he pulled your panties to the side in the mean time and slipped one finger into your warmth. returning the favor, you caressed him through his boxers.
you both got impatient due to the teasing and got bolder. he was pumping two of his fingers into you and playing with your clit at the same time. and you were stroking his length, boxers long gone, sitting on top of the pile of clothes.
"pete...i need you."
he held you by your waist and pressed his chest against yours. his hand held the base of his thick cock and guided the tip against your opening. you lowered your body down, letting him fill you up inch by inch. when you finally fully sat down on his cock you were both panting.
you held onto his shoulders to support yourself as you started moving up and down. his hands were gripping your waist and helping you move.
he nipped and licked at your breasts at the same time making your knees buckle.
"you're doing so, fucking, good, baby. you feel like heaven...fuuuuck." he let out between moans.
"peter, i can't, i- it's too much!" you cried out.
his hand steadied you, making you stop moving.
"hold onto me, love." he simply said.
he started to move his hips up and down as soon as you wrap your arms around his neck. his pace was brutal and needy. he was gasping at the feeling of your wet pussy. one of his fingers came down on your clit and played with the little bud. your needy, throbbing clit finally getting attention made you scream loudly.
“you look so pretty on my dick, baby.”
he praised.
too lost in the moment you guys didn’t hear the footsteps coming closer. even peter, who has super sense, didn’t hear anything due to the pleasure he was receiving.
the door of the lab made a loud sound, making both of your heads turn to look at the door. when peter saw your dad and a few other teammates standing there with wide eyes. he quickly covered up your body with his.
your dad took a deep breath and said
“peter…you’re a dead man.”
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asoiafsworld · 1 year
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BELONG TO YOU - one
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pairing; ellie williams x fem!reader
summary; you're new on campus and ellie notices you. despite your shyness and struggles of being anti social, you can't help but fall in love with her.
warnings and tags; modern!au, college!au, dealer!ellie, reader is shy, anxiety, depression, fluff, angst, eventual smut, touch starvation, ellie has a dick in this, reader is also pretty innocent, might make a kink out of it, drug abuse, obsessiveness, love at first sight kinda thing
author's note; i folded. im finally writing for my lovely ellie and feel like this is the worst thing i have ever written lmao. i was going to write all of this in like a very long one chapter thing but i literally can't so here's what u get. not even sure if i wanna continue this but if u guys like it i might. thanks for reading, pls tell me what u think of it <3
two
You feel lost.
You’re new to this place, new to this city, new to these people. You never expected to get away from your past, awful life and you’re still not sure if you have. Because you look around and observe the people at campus, see everyone with their friend groups or romantic partners and feel so utterly alone. You always have been, always too shy to talk to someone and too awkward to hold a conversation… or a friendship. Not that anyone ever thought you were worth being friends with.
It’s always been suffocating, this loneliness, this darkness that overtakes your mind when it’s quiet and you’re alone. You get that feeling when you sit under a tree in the park on campus and watch and observe the people around you. It’s not like you’re being ignored, you would have to be acknowledged first to be ignored. But people walking past you and not giving a single fuck about your existence is somewhat hurtful. One guy even stepped on your book earlier and didn’t even apologize to you. It was closed, thankfully, but it made you keep your things closer to you, making your little bubble smaller than it already is. You take a deep breath and look away from the crowded park and back down on your notes, distracting yourself from your self deprecating thoughts.
The moment that you look down, she looks up. Ellie’s gaze only wanders over you for a split second and she was going to let her gaze go over the park and the many people that she knows and sells to. But her brain works a second later than her eyes do so she looks back to the lone figure sitting under the tree, hair spilling down as your eyes sharply go over the notebook in your hands. Ellie is mesmerized for some reason, unable to look away from you and your pretty face and your legs enveloped in bright blue jeans and your fingers tracing the words on your book and your breasts pushing up as you breath-
“Earth to Ellie? Hello? You having a stroke or something?” Her eyes break away forcefully from you to look at her friend, Dina, who is looking at her with a questioning but amused glint in her eyes. Her mouth is working faster than her brain so the question doesn’t fully register until she says it.
“Do you know who that is? The girl under the tree? Never seen her before.” Dina’s eyebrows raise at the question and she turns around to look at where Ellie’s eyes have strayed to once more. She watches you take out your pen from your bag and scribble something down on your notebook, your lips puckering as you’re writing. It’s as if you don’t realize how pretty your lips look like this, how Ellie has to restrain her mind from thinking of something totally inappropriate. She doesn’t even know you, not even your name but the way you sit there all alone and almost helplessly lonely makes something in her stir. You shouldn’t be alone when she knows how many disgusting boys are at this college, even if it’s at a park with so many people out on a sunny day.
“Yeah, she’s new, moved into the empty room at the end of our hall. Pretty sure she’s next to your room.” Dina has turned her head back around and can’t hide the little smirk that forms on her face when she sees Ellie staring. She takes another second to let her eyes linger on you, on how gorgeous you look when the sun shines down on you before she stands up. She walks towards you with confidence and determination, not even entirely sure why. You just look so pretty to her, the way you sit there and study whilst everyone else is doing anything but studying. Something in her gut and in her chest stirs when she sees you sitting alone and looking seemingly sad. She doesn't think that anyone else notices but she sees that you look a little helpless, like a lost puppy not knowing where to go.
For some reason, she wants you to go to her.
You don’t realize that someone stands in front of you until a shadow is cast over you and your book, making it difficult to see your notes. When you look up, you see a tall girl in a crew neck shirt and an unbuttoned denim work shirt over it. She’s wearing faded blue jeans and blue converse, her brown, shoulder length hair partially tied to keep it out of her face. Her eyes are pale green and piercing as she looks down on you, the gaze in her eyes so intense but looking at you with all the ease in the world. Your heart races at this, so unused to someone looking at you or approaching you. You grip your book tightly to keep yourself from getting up and running away and hope she says something before you have to.
“Hi. Mind if I sit next to you?” Her voice sounds clear as she speaks, no hesitation or doubt in the way she speaks and even stands in front of you. You’re taken aback by her question and desperately suppress the urge to ask why she wants to be next to you. You don’t know her, only remember that she lives in the room next to yours and that there’s always people coming and going out of her room. You’ve seen her recieve money at her door sometimes in exchange for… god knows what she is giving other people, you wouldn’t know. You nod slowly and try not to look overly confused at her as she sits down right next to you, the body heat she radiates so close to you that it almost throws you off. You don’t know the last time someone sat this close to you and don’t want to think further about the feeling you often feel when you watch other people hug or kiss each other or hold hands. Touch starving, that’s what the internet called it when you googled it. You know that it’s true because you do not remember the last time you hugged someone or felt physical touch in any form. You feel so embarrassed when you accidentally brush against someone in the hallways because most of the time, your body craves more of that touch.
You are unsure of what to do now with someone sitting next to you, your breath held in carefully as if the world would shatter if you breathed out. Why is she sitting next to you? Did you do something wrong? You stare down at the book in your lap but can’t really think when there’s someone, a very pretty girl actually, sitting right next to you. There’s a slight breeze that hits you from the side and it carries the girl's scent with it, earthy and lemony from something that you can’t place. You like the smell, it suits her. You turn your head slightly and see that she’s been looking at you this entire time, the gaze in her eyes studying you and a small smile formed on her lips. God, she’s so gorgeous, it truly takes your breath away. She proceeds to hold a hand out to you and you look down to it before looking back up.
“I’m Ellie.” She says and and you smile slightly at how sweet she seems, introducing herself to a complete stranger. You briefly wonder how lonely you must have looked for Ellie to approach you and try not to think about it for too long. You tell her your name, your voice a little too shaky and too unsure, as if you just came up with your own name. You put your hand into hers and dig your finger into your palm on your other hand because this much body contact is not something you are used to. Your hand is smaller than hers and it looks tiny in her bigger, warmer hand. You almost don’t want to let go because her warmth and touch make something stir in your gut, something comforting and wholesome that you don’t know if you’ve ever felt before. It takes a lot of willpower for you to break your hand away from hers, willing to let it stay in hers for as long as she would let you but you shouldn’t scare her off right away.
“So, you’re pretty new here. What’s your major?” Ellie is captivated by the girl in front of her. You are even prettier up close and Ellie has a hard time not looking at your lips constantly or your tiny hand that fits into hers twice over. You look confused and helpless, even if you try to hide it and it makes Ellie’s heart hurt a little. Why do you seem so scared of even talking to anyone? And why is Ellie so interested in you? She doesn’t know why she even came over here but the moment she saw you, every nerve in her brain only had one goal: to talk to you. You look at her with an unreadable look in our eyes and nervously brush your hair behind your ear.
“Uhm, M-marine Biology.” You feel heat rise to your cheeks at your stutter and hope she doesn’t notice it. She seems perceptive enough that she probably does but also tactful enough to not comment on it. Her eyebrows raise a little at your answer and you hope she doesn’t think it’s lame. You don’t know why you don’t want her to think you’re lame.
“Marine biology… That’s pretty cool.” Your heart does a little flip at the way she draws her words out and you can hear a slight accent in her voice. It sounds southern but it’s not that noticeable. “So, you like fish?”
The question is so silly that it takes you aback and you do something that you never do in front of other people; you giggle. You hope it doesn’t sound stupid to her because it certainly does to you and you quickly bite your lip to stop yourself. You look at her again and now have a small smile on your lips that seems to make her smile in return. She’s so incredibly attractive, the way she sits with her knees drawn up and her hair tied back and her eyes looking at you in a certain way that you can’t describe.
“Yeah, I guess I do. What’s your major?” You mentally give yourself a pat on the back for your progress on socializing but talking to someone like this is still unknown territory for you. You’re still incredibly nervous next to her and hope you don’t say something stupid.
“Fine arts. Was always interested in it, I draw a lot and I guess I’m pretty good at it… or something.” The way Ellie bashfully scratches the back of her head and blushes at the last part makes your chest feel warm, for whatever reason. She seems like an artistic kind of person, the tattoos on her arms catching your attention and wondering if she drew them herself. She must be talented, you think to yourself. How couldn’t she be with hands like hers.
You are distracted by the sound of her name being called and look towards a girl with dark hair and sharp, memorable features. She’s pretty, very pretty and looks at Ellie impatiently. You wonder if that’s her girlfriend, certain of Ellie being gay with the way she carries herself and… sits. And wears converse. Your heart hurts at that thought and you feel incredibly stupid for it. Ellie sighs next to you and gets up, looking back down at you with an apologetic smile.
“I’m sorry, I promised my friend Dina to drive her downtown. But… Maybe you would like to see my drawings? Or just, hang out. We’re neighbors after all.” You can’t pretend that hearing her call the girl her friend doesn’t make you relieved and the small smile is on your face again as you feel better at the revelation. You don’t know if you should let news like this affect you the way they do but how could you not cling onto every detail when someone talks to you like a friend… for maybe the first time since you were a child. You nod as you stare and memorize her face, her pretty freckles captivating you.
“Yeah, I would like that.” Your voice is soft as you speak and you play with your fingers to distract yourself, swallowing as you see the way she stares down at you. Her hand reaches towards you and gently, so softly, she brushes a strand of hair behind your ear. Her finger brushes over your cheek so delicately that your stomach twists at the touch and you genuinely don’t know how to keep yourself sane. Your lashes flutter softly at her touch but your eyes remain locked on hers, desperate to hear her say something else or let her touch your however she wants to.
“I’ll see you then.” Ellie pulls her finger away gently and turns around, walking towards her friend. You watch as Ellie moves further and further away from your point of view until she is not even visible but you have barely come back to your senses by then. You exhale the breath you held in and softly close your eyes, touching the cheek that she had touched so softly. The moment keeps replaying in your mind, her intense gaze not faltering for once as she looks down at you like she can do whatever she wants, like… like she owns you.
You’re embarrassed by how much you like that thought. All your life, you have been alone, your family estranged and abusive, no friends to keep you sane, your mentality and shyness not allowing you to make friends. And here comes this girl, this gorgeous, pretty, intimidating girl that just sits next to you and touches you like she’s never done anything different. She seems like the kind of person that makes you feel safe, that protects you and takes care of you. The kind of person that you belong to.
She’s a stranger. You barely know her and yet, you can’t help your thoughts. You want to belong to her.
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nfr-girly · 4 months
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Little Hope - Bradley Bradshaw x reader (Part 1)
Bradley’s priority’s have always been the navy and his daughter, hope, but what happens when his daughter’s teacher comes into the mix?
a/n: literally never wrote a fic before let me know if it’s good
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Ever since Bradley and his ex had split up, he had been his daughter’s main guardian. He doesn’t really speak to his ex, and he doesn’t want to. Balancing being a dad and the navy wasn’t easy, so when the time came for Hope to go to pre-school, he couldn’t complain.
“Hey have you got your bag?” Brad asked
“Yes!!”
“And did you brush your teeth?”
“Of course I’m not like you” she rolled her eyes jokingly, to which he smiled at
He strapped her in her seat and pulled out of the drive. Brad was feeling all types of emotions, relief that he could spend some more time in the navy while she learns, sad that she’s growing up, also happy for her to make friends. He didn’t like feeling emotions. He never thought it ended well, and in his case it never had.
Pulling into the car park of the school, he stops for a minute. The school is a good size; he sees kids running around, parents talking to each other. He feels a sense of hope that she’ll be okay, but the other half is telling him to take her back home.
“Daddy are we going in??” Hope asks, the gap where her tooth was showing clear, she sits cuddling her bear.
“Oh yeah honey sorry” he gets out and unstraps her out her seat; they walk hand in hand towards the school.
Walking along he feels some eyes on him, at first he thinks maybe they’re judging him, or worst, hope. But as he glances he realises some of the mums are checking him out. He looks away quickly, he had decided to wear a very tight shirt today.
He walked into classroom 2b, which was what classroom hope was apparently in. He looks around and sees the back of who he guesses is the teacher. He waits till she’s done talking to a student.
But as soon as she turned around, Bradley had completely zoned out everything around him but you. As you notice him, you give him a smile and start walking towards him. If he didn’t feel nervous already, he absolutely did now.
“Hi!! Im Miss L/N!! I assume you are hope?” You kneel down to match hopes height, while Bradley’s eyes are still on you. He would’ve thought he had landed in heaven seeing you.
“Yes!! This is my daddy!!!” Hope says, tugging at Bradley’s shirt. He snaps out of his trance as you get up again, trying to understand what just happened
your POV
Being in the presence of Hopes father could be classed as its own national holiday, because being able to meet a man that gorgeous should be celebrated.
“Hi! My names Miss L/N, but you can just call me Y/N” I whisper the last part
“Hi.. Im uh- im hopes dad, but my names Bradley” he says as he shakes my hand. I don’t even know if I can think the things I’m thinking about a students dad, but who gives a shit.
“Nice to meet you Bradley, I just know hope will have a great time here!” I smile at him, which he grins back at.
“Yeah I hope. She’s feeling excited so it should be alright. so uh I gotta get going now, but pick ups at 3:15 right?”
“Yeah!” I reply; feeling sudden disappointment from him having to leave
“Hey honey I’ll be back soon okay?” He has a little conversation with his daughter, I notice a lot of features they share, same nose, same eyes. It makes my heart fill with warmth even more
He gives her a peck on the cheek before getting up.
“Well I’ll uh, pick her up at 3:15 then” he says
“Yeah um see you then” I smile
He smiles back before turning around and heading out the door.
“So hope let’s get you to your desk and meet your classmates okay!” I say
“Okay!” She smiles as we walk towards the classroom. She talks about her teddy bear, and how she named him Rooster, I assume maybe she likes roosters? Half of the conversation I may have been thinking back to her dad. God, why is 3:15 so far away?
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yellowharrington · 4 months
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jaded - chapter 4, carmy berzatto x reader
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pairing + fandom: carmen “carmy” berzatto x fem!reader (she/her pronouns used), the bear fx
warnings: smoking mention, minors dni with this story please.
word count: 2k
a/n: ok literally i am the worst ever and i totally didn't finish this fic even tho i started it so im finally posting the last part literally MONTHS later!!! sorry besties but i couldn't have an unfinished fic out there in the world so... if u fuck w this story at all thank u for reading it and all the encouraging and nice things people have said, it literally made me want to complete this fic so thank u <3
summary: tying up loose ends.
and it's a fuckin' shame that it ended like that you broke your own heart, but you'd never say that we went to hell, but we never came back
masterlist | chapter 3
It all just feels numb.
Sun coming up over the horizon and a light snowfall onto the street below. Your home is quiet, no pans in the kitchen making French omelettes, no TV playing outside the bedroom door as you sleep. No toothbrushing in the bathroom or running shower water, warm and steamy, inviting you in.
It’s not that you weren’t expecting his answer. Or, lack thereof. It’s that he couldn’t make up his fucking mind. First, he’s cooking you an omelette in your favourite pan with a cup of coffee made exactly the way you like it. He’s spending every evening on the couch with you, your hands splayed out against his stomach, comfortable beneath the waistband of his sweats. You’re in his sweater, baking fresh warm cookies so he can have one before bed, smudges of chocolate against your lips as he pushes you up against the counter, hot skin on cold tile.
Next, he has that look on his face, where he’s somewhere else. Thinking of her, in a dreamland where he can make it right again, and it all feels like it comes crashing down. The sweet nothings don’t exist in this realm, there’s no happiness here.
And when you do have to face him on Monday, it’s back to cold shoulder, nothing different. Yes chef, no chef, thank you chef. 
Sydney tries to make conversation, and you feel bad because you won’t bitch about Carmy like you usually would. Richie’s having secret meetings with Natalie, probably more about Claire, but you don’t even think to join in. It hurts, it hurts so fucking much, and it’s hard enough to go outside and take a fucking break from it all, let alone be in the same cramped kitchen with him. There’s no solitude, just aching, just disappointment.
“Did you order me a new cake pan, chef?” It’s directed at Tina, who looks up at you with the same wistful softness as she always does, smiling before nodding in your direction. You don’t hear her slide over to you, but when she suddenly appears at your station, you can tell she just knows something’s wrong.
“What’s up with you?” she asks, clipboard finding it’s way to the counter beside you, where a piping bag lays. “You’re not yourself. Something… wrong. Don’t tell me a boy did this to you.” The tears prick at your eyes and you swallow it all before you can get out a word, because yeah, it all fucking aches and the hurt feels like it’s sitting right behind your eyes, in your throat, ready to come out.
“It’s nothing. It is a boy but, boys are stupid and I’m not gonna cry over one,” you sniffle, before untying your apron and letting it hang loose on your body. “Not worth it.”
“It’s him, isn’t it?”
Your blood runs cold when she gestures just outside to the bright light of the door, where Carmy sits, phone in one hand, cigarette in the other.
Luckily the kitchen is empty when you reply, only so she can hear, “how did you know?”
“I saw the way you looked at him this morning.”
“Does anyone else know?”
“Fuck no. Between you and me, chef.”
You sighed relief, letting your front hit the counter as the stress left your body. “Thank fuck. Yeah, I don’t know, we were-“
“Fuckin’?” Tina’s got a sly smile on her face that makes it impossible not to laugh with her.
“Yeah, I guess. It felt like more than that. But apparently he’s still hung up on Claire so, I guess that ends it.”
She exhales slowly, joining you in a lean against the counter. “Jeff makes mistakes, everyone knows that. He’s moody and sad and he’s got fuckin’ problems, that kid, I tell ya.” She pauses for a second, eyes meeting yours, sincere. “But he’s good. I just don’t think he can handle himself, is all.” She takes a beat, letting her soft hand lay over yours, “He doesn’t let himself have the good shit because it always gets ruined. But you’re good. He’s scared of you.”
“He should be scared of me. I’m gonna fucking kill him,” you mutter, letting your floured hand meet your forehead in annoyance. “I’m not responsible for fixing his shit.”
She nods, agreeing with you, a hand cupping yours on the counter. “No, you’re not. I���m just saying he could use someone like you to bring him back to Earth, is all.”
-
When Carmy does make it back inside, he’s thumbing through paperwork at the desk, hand through his hair stressfully pulling at the strands. He’s trying so hard not to stare at you from where he’s sitting, noticing your cold gaze, somewhere far away. He takes out his phone to scroll through it mindlessly, procrastinating, when he meanders his way to the text icon and opens up your thread. A few texts here and there, mostly just asking about plans to come over, the occasional sexy photo or recipe idea.
[sunday, 10:26] they don't have fresh sourdough. should we just make some this aft?
[saturday, 4:35] i hate when you go in on saturdays
[saturday, 4:36] Photo Recieved
[saturday 4:36] don't you wish you were home with me?
[tuesday, 12:22] is balsamic glaze overdone? lmk. miss u.
It feels a little too domestic, seeing the way he so effortlessly became comfortable with you, a warmth and excitement that was just never there with Claire. It’s raw and it’s guilty and he’ll beat himself up over it forever, but it was never going to be perfect with her, no matter how hard he tried.
“Boss?”
Richie appears in the office, leaning against the door frame before noticing Carmy’s disheveled look. “Yeah?”
“You look worse than usual.”
“Thanks. What do you need?”
“Well, I was gonna ask if you ordered more eggs.”
“I, uh, yeah. Yeah, I think Sydney did.”
“What’s wrong with you?”
It’s like Richie could see right through him.
“Nothin’. Stupid shit.”
Richie steps into the office, leaving the door only slightly ajar.
“Cousin.”
Richie can be sweet when he wants to be, and when he’s got a hand on Carmy’s shoulder and a somber look in his eyes it’s like he already knows how Carmy feels.
“Why do I suck so bad at being a fuckin’ normal person?”
Richie sits next to him, a look of surprise. “Is this about Claire bear?”
“Yes, well - yeah, and also no. Kinda. I don’t know.”
“Is it about Miss Buttercream out there?”
He gestures to you outside the door, zesting some orange on top of the cake you were finishing up. Carmy stifles a laugh.
“We all know you’re porkin’ her.”
“Don’t say that,” Carmy laughs, hand coming up to his face to rub his eyes. “It’s more than that. We’ve been kinda, dating, I guess? I still don’t know what counts as having a girlfriend.”
“So what did you do?”
He gnaws at the skin of his thumb and lets his eyes flicker up to Richie’s. “Fucked it. Last night, I, uh,-“ his hand finds his warm forehead. “I really like her, like a lot. But she asked about Claire and I said the wrong thing, like I always do and uh, she didn’t like it.”
“She’s good,” Richie starts, letting his hands find his aproned thighs as he sits at the corner of the desk. “Claire was good for you too. But she didn’t… get it. Not like she does,” he gestured vaguely to your station outside the door. “Claire was never gonna get the restaurant and the kitchen and the fuck of it all.”
Richie's hand extends to cup Carmy's shoulder.
“Look, do whatever you want, but there isn’t really someone who matches you like she does. Claire’s history now, drunk phone calls don’t mean she’s still in love with you. If that’s what you were thinking.”
Carmy sits back in the creaky chair. “Nah, not that. I just don’t know how to do it right.”
“It’s not about doing it right,” Richie’s got sincerity in his eyes. “It’s about fuckin’… trying shit. Just go and make a move and see.” Carmy watches you hang up your apron on the hook and grab a hoodie before fucking outside. “Yeah, yeah. Thanks Richie.”
“Good luck.”
“I’m sorry.”
Carmy’s voice takes you out of your trance as you stare into the back alley of the restaurant. “Hi.”
“Can we talk?”
“You can talk, I’ll listen.”
The crackle of his lighter, orange flame against white snow. You can see his breath slipping from between his lips as he exhales out of the corner of your eye.
“I feel like a fuckin’ asshole,” he starts, plunging his other hand in his pocket. “I don’t know what to say.” A beat. “Can you look at me?” It’s gentle, a question, not a demand.
You turn to look at him. Cold blue eyes, darkened by the brightness around you. “You’re not second best to me. You’re it, this is it. I like this, I, I fuckin’,” he takes a breath, “I love… this. I want this.”
“You hurt my feelings, Carmen,” tears brimming your eyes and coating your lashes. “If you’re not done with Claire, I don’t… I don’t care. If I am your second choice, fine.” 
“You’re not.”
“Even if I was. But don’t fuck me around if you don’t want me.”
“I do.”
“Are you sure? You weren’t sure last night.”
“I get it if you don’t trust me. I get it. I haven’t given you a reason to.” He searches for the right words, but chooses to take a tentative step towards you. “I’ll beg for you,” he’s quiet, unlike Carmy. “Anything.”
Your eyes meet his briefly, a soft smile pulling at your lip. “I’m not saying yes, okay?” He nods. “But I am saying I would appreciate a ride home tonight. If you’re serious.”
“I’m serious.”
“Good.”
-
The walk up to your apartment is easy. His heavy steps behind your light ones, hands sliding up the bannister as you unlock your door. He’s on your heels, a little behind. When he steps in your apartment, it’s familiar. Browned butter, vanilla, laundry. 
“Do you want dinner?” He’s tentative, letting his shoes sit next to yours on the mat. His jacket goes up on the hooks by the door, together. 
“Are you offering?”
“Yes.”
Carmy shows love through food, that’s how he always is. You can tell he’s feeling particularly sorry about it all because he’s bringing out a big pasta pot and a saucepan, pulling the only fresh ingredients left in your place and putting them next to the stove top. Your t-shirt finds its way into the laundry basket, an old sweater thrown over your bare skin.
You hate how normal it all feels, because it’s scary. To think of a domestic life with him, where there’s another girl lingering in the background of his thoughts that he has unfinished business with. Insecurities of who is better, prettier, happier, warmer… if he had the chance, would he leave? Would he jump ship?
He sits next to you while you eat, thighs against thighs, and comfortable silence blanketing your small apartment. He hasn’t gotten into one of the many pairs of pyjamas he’s left at your place, or taken his usual after-work shower, or taken out the frozen cookie dough to thaw. You can tell he’s not sure if he’s welcome here for good, yet.
When your food is done, he pushes the plates away and takes a calloused hand to wrap around yours. There’s sharpie marks small knife cuts on his fingers. 
“Are you gonna stay the night?” You ask, still not meeting his gaze. 
“Am I welcome to?” He doesn’t sound like himself, and you can feel his warm breath near the top of your head as you turn towards him. Your body collapses a little then, folding slightly at the middle to have your head fall right into the centre of his chest.
“Yes, Carmen,” you nod, letting your eyes flicker up to meet his. “You can stay for as long as you want.”
His hand slipped from yours then, sliding around your side and up your back. He pulled you into his embrace, lips wrapped around yours in a soft capture. Your hands found their way under his t-shirt, only slightly, his warm skin against the palms of your hands, pulling him impossibly closer. 
And when you lay in bed with him that night, your face burrowed into the softness of his chest, you know the days of waking up alone are over. 
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the-s1lly-corner · 7 months
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If you could indulge me, can I ask for something with The Amazing Digital Circus gang, with an s/o who is seen as an anchor for the others? They are strong willed, happy go lucky, supportive, a mediator and ect. Well, could they stumble upon their s/o just having an episode, just crying in frustration and like punching a wall to calm down and go back to acting like nothing happened?
I have a thing with strong willed characters hiding their weakness for the benefit of others.
TADC cast x emotional anchor!reader !
oh ho ho you silly lil fella, you have literally just described my TADC oc down to a T, i am going to have so much fun writing this because im literally just. going to use my oc as a place holder for the reader, just without describing any lore bits unique to them and their design ngl i think i went insane with this one, tally hall music is doing something to me
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CAINE:
if you thought you were good at hiding your human despair just know that caine already knows. the only reason i feel he wouldnt initially come to you in your lesser moments of weakness is that he can acknowledge that youre trying to hide this part of you. does he go comfort you, and risk making you try harder to surpress your feelings; risking you to just blow up one day and have your mental state just totally collapse in one go? would you feel put off at the knowledge that in this world you never really have full privacy? that definitely wouldnt make you feel any better. but when it gets to the point where you're screaming and crying in your room and punching the walls he would step in. drags you away from the walls, and if he has to this man will restrain you if it means making sure you stop swinging. hes seen the downfall of many people within the circus, but seeing it from someone he so deeply cares for hits a different way. he may be an AI, but he can still simulate feeling. its a harrowing sensation as he lets you cling onto him. i think he makes an effort to make in house adventures less overwhelming and intense, too scared to push you over the edge but also too scared to leave you with nothing to do to distract you. i think he would stay with you for the night, too
POMNI:
as selfish as it sounds, pomni cant help but feel.. something in her chest. seeing you, the groups beacon of light falter fills her with some kind of fear and despair that she cant put into words. it reminds her that no one is above helplessness, and that at the end of the day youre just as capable of abstracting as everyone else. i think, when she finally sees your fake demeanor finally slip when you thought you were totally alone, she feels bad. i mean shes your partner, and she didnt pick up on any hints that may have indicated your true state of health. i dont think she would try to force you to speak, as much as i want to say that she would try to push for you to talk about how you feel i think her attempts to reach out to you would fall on deaf ears. i think she would put her hand on your shoulder, making you jump back to the present moment. its an awkward gesture, with the jester herself being a little lost with these new feelings... i think you two would just sit in silence
JAX:
similar to pomni, he feels this intense and unexplainable pang at the sight of the most hopeful and brightest person in the circus crumble. ive already said it but ill say it again, its like being splashed with cold water, with how hard that sinking cold feeling hits him. makes half hearted attempts to cheer you up. its not that he doesnt care, its that hes stuck in the shock of seeing the happiest person he knows flip into... this.. for a split second he thought you were abstracting, that pit his stomach becoming colder for a second before he realizes whats going on. ive said this before as well, but jax is not the best comforter, in fact i think he might be one of the worst out of the main cast. but i think so far for the characters ive written for this post, he makes an effort to try to pull you up out of your hole. at least he lets you cry your feelings out, and he wont make you feel bad for doing so
RAGATHA:
stands there in shock like pomni, before immediately rushing to your side and tugging you away from a coat stand you were kicking and beating. hands on your shoulders she tries to snap you back to the present moment, trying to tell you that shes here. any feelings of the helplessness that she shares with the previous two characters is shoved down. this isnt about her, its about you. runs her fingers through your hair, if your digital body has any, and just. rocks you. when you finally calm down enough to be able to form clear words, she reassures you once more that shes here for you. the two of you stay in that position, holding onto one another for the entire night. i think it should be said, but for most of these theyre going to try to keep a closer eye on you and make it a point to ask you how youre feeling. ragatha especially.
KINGER:
it reminds him of queenie. the sight brings back so so so many terrible memories. for a second he doesnt even register that hes standing in the present, standing in your doorway. stuck and frozen for a solid minute before you finally notice him, and you hold each others gaze. finally, you crumble. what was the point of hiding your mounting anguish now that it was discovered by the one you care for most? at the sight of your crumpled form i think kinger would snap back, and rush to your side. he's pause, afraid that you would abstract like the queen, before forcing himself to push through that fear in the back of his mind. a moment where he is not fumbling with himself or shaking; be it because he wants to be there for you or perhaps he still holds some guilt aimed towards himself for not being able to save his old queen, he refuses to leave your side even if you tell him to leave. theres this caution in his actions, mixed with this sort of determination to make sure you're okay. like ragatha, he would make it a point to make sure you're okay long after this incident
ZOOBLE:
zooble would probably be the only one who doesnt make their presence known to you while you're in that state. not because they wont care about you, in fact they care about you a lot. but theyre so unsure of what to do, that they give to you what they would have wanted for themselves, if they were in your shoes. they want to grant you privacy, and to at least keep a shred of the now ruined façade you had been putting on for everyone. if it means keeping it will give you comfort, then they wont take that away from you. they wait outside your door, waiting for the height of your episode to pass before cracking the door open. they dont say anything about what they had just heard, but you seem to know that they know.. i mean they came in so soon after you had calmed yourself down enough.
"are you okay?" a dumb question, but what else was there for them to say? you so obviously werent okay, and you likely werent for a long time. they offer to leave, to give you some time to pick yourself back up, but they also make it clear that they wont go anywhere if you dont want to be alone. the night is tense and awkward, filled with conversation before they eventually broach the topic... i think you guys would develop some sort of secret code. i mean youve been hiding your true feelings for so long, and outwardly saying you need help would compromise that mask you put up for yourself. be it a certain sentence or arrangement of objects, you two come up with a indirect way of asking for security
GANGLE:
she feels so helpless, the most out of everyone. she tries to get your attention, but her words fall on deaf ears, if they even manage to pry themselves out of her mouth. far too weak to pull you away and keep you from hurting yourself, but too soft spoken to bark out a word to draw your attention to her. truly, she feels useless. she isnt able to capture your attention until you finally notice her. similar to kingers part, you fall. she takes an unsure step towards you, hands half raised in front of her as she debates if you want to be touched or not. she settles to sitting in front of you, just barely holding eye contact... she looks down when you tear your eyes away from her. finally finding her voice, i think she would ask if you want her to stay, or if you need anything. she tries to word it the best she can, but she lets you know that she doesnt think any less of you for your outburst. it happens to the best of us, really it does. if you want her too, she wraps herself around you and tries to soothe your shaking form
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penaltyboxboxbox · 5 months
Note
any genderbend headcanons you would like to share 👀????
YEAH....YEAH I DO....theyre all pretty random and non specific but if you want to hear me ramble about my girl drivers here u go
Charles: she's a non conventional fashion girlie...........she likes to dress quite femininely and and gets a lot of fashion based brand deals so she is often pairing skirts and such with her sportswear and it sometimes looks a bit silly. a lot of her fits are like...is it a fit or is she just really pretty and wearing designer lol. the skirt i drew her in is what I THINK would be her version of the quali pants, it's this knit skirt from gucci 💁‍♂️
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Carlos: she is like two steps away from being a high bun lesbian. still keeps her FEM VIBES mostly because of family pressure. but the second she gets put in a dress its all a little . hm. youre a masc arent you.
Pierre: happy to be the paddock baddie like....she embraces it fully. she got a boob job and doesnt care if people know. constantly hints at being bisexual on instagram but will never confirm.
Esteban: the girl who had the most major glow up............and who has also had a bob her whole gd life. literally lives in a lulu jacket and yoga pants like its her uniform. she and pierre had the most toxic codependent girl friendship of all time. she's soooo so so tall and always got mad growing up because none of the boys liked her cause she was taller than them and got teased about it....still tall as fuck
Lance: my tall and beautiful wife...every few months she chops her bangs too short and everyone cries until they grow out again. she hates having hair in her eyes.... hates dresses and heels since she always sits with her legs out...gotta be comfy duh..
Fernando: milflonso............she was an it girl in her youth and then got divorced and came out as a lesbian and became an irresistible masc
George: the preppiest girl you can imagine she will never cut her hair AND she will wear a skort. extreme complex about being a tall girl.
Lewis: ultimate fashionista like she gets it....changes her hair a lot more than boy lewis....extremely in denial lesbian who dates the gayest men imaginable
Yuki: shes a hey mamas lesbian. she flirts so hard with pierre from like eye level with her huge boobs. kind of a fuckboy she swears she'll treat you rightttt come on babyyyy
Daniel: used to be such a hotgirl such a coolgirl like in her younger days she had long long hair and dressed sexy and was all about pushing this like....im a hot girl but im also so cool and just like the boys 😜 (she was overcompensating for something) but after she leaves redbull she like cuts off all her hair and slowly starts mascing the fuck out as she gets older.....now shes just straight up soft butch and everyone knows she kisses girls
Max: grew up forced to have the worst bowlcut in the world and never got to be very girly or anything so when she grew up she finally let her hair grow long and never cuts it. has barely any personal style and still cannot walk in heels tho.
Checo: arguably the one who cleans up the best like shes the one with the makeover montage everyone is so used to seeing her in red bull gear and a ponytail every damn day the second she puts on an outfit everyones like HELLO?????
Valtteri: used to be permanently in the low pony tail and attempting to dress acceptably business casual woman enough for things but after she left merc just embraced being a butch. has the same mullet as guy val. hallelujah
Guanyu: suuuuuch a fashion girl and absolutely rules instagram and weibo..........always doing photoshoots and stuff. experiments with cute hairstyles a lot, but always keeps her bangs ☝️
Alex: used to be super plain like wore big hoodies and just left her hair long and straight and hanging there until one day she got the chop+undercut going on.......now shes well aware shes everyones ideal boyfriend if he were a girlfriend.
Logan: my florida girl......my natural blonde with her little ponytail.....when she was growing up her parents definitely put her shirts like this
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Lando: she is a racing driver as much as she is an influencer.............people discourse about if shes fanservicing like every 2 seconds. girl gamer and proud.
Oscar: she lives in gym clothes. nike pros or leggings every day with the most boring shirt. never does her hair or wears makeup
KMag: best mom everrrrrrr 🫶
Nico: she talks openly about how men are very intimidated by her. she is indeed kind of scary.
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jeansplaytoy · 25 days
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Complaining - Ony. 6
<<part five part seven>>
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arguing , angst (?) , ony being the “worst” , language , mentions of cheating / lying .
the waits are killing me too . NOT PROOF READ forgive me .
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“so you sayin… this nigga told you he wasn’t going to the party, at the same time he was taking me.” you crossed your arms.
ony sat on the same couch as you, different distances because your hits hurt. even though he apparently didn’t have anything to lie about.
“yeah.” his ex girlfriend said, glancing at him across from you. ony looked at you and smacked his lips. “ian gon lie. y/n you gotta be the dumbest person i know if you believe that.”
“boy shut the hell up.” you rolled your eyes at him. you looked back at the girl. “you got message proof?”
when she turned the phone around after a few seconds, you didn’t even bother looking fully at the messages. the only thing you saw was “ian goin to that par-“ and that’s all you read before you closed your eyes and took a deep breath in.
ony frowned and looked at the messages. “man hol’ up-“
“shut up. you, you do know he literally just wanted me to start taking to him again, right? like before that party?”
“he ain’t tell me that.” she crossed her arms.
“yep. you can go.” you muttered before getting up and going upstairs. as you heard his ex girlfriend get up and leave, ony followed you to his room.
“bruh-“
“i’m good man. ion even wanna hear it.” you pursed your lips together.
“ma, im being dead ass serious when i say she lyin.” ony said with his hands in his pockets by the doorway. “right then what did them messages say?” you squinted. “ony sighed inaudibly and longingly. “that ain’t me. on some real shit.”
“yknow… ion even know why i bothered tryna restart wit’ you. cause i really thought we could have something and i thought we was gon make it this time without fucking up, but it’s always you, onyankopon.” you stared at him while getting your things from around his room.
ony started to open his mouth and say something, but suddenly he closed his mouth and stared at you with now, blank eyes. “okay.”
you frowned a little and paused what you were doing. “okay?”
“if you ain’t gon believe what i’m telling you, even though i’m not fuckin lyin, then what else can i say? ‘y/n forgive me for telling the truth. i love you.’ i’m sicka that shit.” he said, still leaning on the doorway.
you blinked for a couple seconds. “you.. make me so fuckin’ sick. honestly, i wish i never met yo ass. like everything you do just hurts.” you threw your things on the bed.
ony just walked over to his bed and sat down. “right. cus you can’t seem to believe one fuckin’ thing that be comin outta my mouth and you so fuckin gullible, you believe everything another bitch tell you.” he scoffed and laid back, putting his arms behind his head.
“alright.” you raised your eyebrows, grabbing your things and starting to walk towards the door. “don’t… worry…” you said, picking up the things you were dropping on the way out. “bout me.”
you thought everything was finally gathered until one thing from the middle of the stack dropped, then everything dropped.
yep. that’s it.
you let out a deep, agonizing groan and looked back at ony, who just stared at you. “you done?” he raised his eyebrows. you furrowed your eyebrows and inhaled, your breath shaky as you did so. “i like you for real ony…” you scratched your head and looked at the ground. “you just don’t know.”
“y/n, i promise you i know, but i’m tryna tell you.”
“i’m not bouda sit here and listen to no lies ony. she showed me the messages, i’m done wit this whole thing.” you shook your head. ony sat up and rested his elbows on his knees. “what the fuck i gotta do to prove to you that ion want nothing to do wit her nomo? you can look at my messages from when we started talkin again, you can ask around, ion know what else to say to you.”
“why the fuck would you wanna show me the same messages she showed me?” you frowned. “you know what, this is why-“
ony dragged his hands over his face. as you went on and on about how stupid he was, he stared at the floor, covering his mouth with his hands and slowly shaking his head.
he should’ve never cheated.
he should’ve never lied.
your whole personality wouldn’t have changed. that’s the only reason you’re acting like this, and he knew that.
“i’m sorry.”
you stopped your rant and looked at him. “what?”
“i’m sorry, it ain’t gon happen again. is that what you wanna hear?” he looked at you with bored eyes. you pursed your lips together. “so it did happen.”
“naw. no. hell no. but if you want a sorry, or whatever you want, you got it. i’m just tryna be happy witchu bruh.”
you stayed silent, picking up your things, feelings tears swell in your eyes. never in your life have you cried over a nigga but here you are, doing just that.
“is you cryin?”
“i’m calling mikasa so she can take me home. don’t call me, text me, ion wanna hear yo voice. just delete my contact or some shit because…” you shook your head, leaving out of onys room.
going downstairs, you took out your phone to call mikasa.
“hello?”
“come pick me up. you got my location.”
before she could say anything back, you hung up.
so much for talking things out.
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crushedsweets · 9 months
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i am so so sorry for the sheer amount of headcanons i'm making you crank out, HOWEVER... i am so curious as to if you have any headcanons for nina and natalie as a duo. i love the way you perceive them and write them it genuinely makes me so happy
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i had to doodle them . ok. lets go..
nat was one of the first people nina met from jeff, since she and jeff lived in the barn together.
nina thought nat was a lesbian when they first met . that is literally the only reason why she wasnt mad jeff was living with a woman.
although nina was like, one of the ONLY people to notice toby/nat tension and was sooo heartbroken when she realized they were never getting together..... but then was relieved they didnt get together when she got over jeff because 'well i can't be the only single one!'
again, natalie grew up with 0 girl friends, only hung out with her brother and boys. even after meeting the creeps, theyre still mostly guys. so she's just kinda really awkward and weird around girls. not in a like, 'oh girls r so annoying' way but like... she just doesnt know how to fit in. she just feels so different in the worst possible way and always has.
and nina is very girly, outgoing, touchy, friendly, cute, etc. so it was very like UMMM?!? idk. natalie kept snapping at her, assuming she was fake and weird and just trying to get something from nat, but nina was so persistent and just. friendly. it started making natalie feel warm.
nina's presence started to heal natalies inner little girl. she had it stolen from her time and time again, from her dad, her brother, her peers - the operator, too.
so the two are eventually actual friends. they'll text and play mobile phone games together. sometimes they'll just sit on call and nina will be talking her head off while nat does her own thing at home. one time nat was at tobys cabin and nina was talking about toby on speaker and toby walked in and was like 'hey nina' .... nina almost threw up she was so embarrassed.
nina loves visiting nats bar because everyone is always talking to nina and giving her attention and buying her drinks, and at first nat was irritated but it kinda got nat some better tips since the customers started realizing ninas her friend. so nat was pleased. LOL
nat was never the type to go shopping, but she'll follow nina around and sit while nina tries on clothes and carry around all her bags that she buys LOL... ninas made jokes about nat being boyfriend material and nat just flatout says smth about how nina should get over jeff cuz he would never.
nat is friends with jeff but she's oddly comfortable just telling nina that he's a piece of shit. and ninas always like NOOO U DONT GET IT U DONT SEE WHAT I DO and nats always just .. not... impressed..
nina's always inviting nat out to try new foods. nat grew up just eating bread and noodles with butter half the time so it's fun. nina always tries to pay bc 'well i invited you!!!'. sometimes toby tags along but he feels a way abt going in public places..
nina rarely visits jack cuz she has no reason to, but nat is friends with him so sometimes nina pops in and she's always like ^_^ HELLO TALL MYSTERIOUS SLIGHTLY MONSTEROUS MAN... <3... nat smacks the back of her head cuz she's being dumb and drooling over a bunch of rando freaks. ... . ok i love nina and she owes jeff nothing but she is def not loyal LOLLLL AND SHE HAS THE RIGHT TO FAWN OVER EVERYONE she's a fangirl at heart.
they watch a ton of shows together. nina got nat into horror kdrama stuff, but they have to watch in dub cuz nat cant read the subtitles fast enough . . . at first nina cringed but now she doesnt care.
nat's painted/drawn nina several times, and nina almost cries everytime. she's put the drawings up on her wall before but anytime nat's at her apartment, she takes it down bc 'i dont want my art on ur wall stop it' LOL... kinda rude but whatevs.
ugh theyre just so fucking cute guys im sorry i love them . holds them. brushes their hair.
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sturnad · 2 months
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NIGHT SHIFT p1
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Pairing: y/n and Chris Sturniolo
Summary: a girl that just started working in a local cafe in her small town and a boy who just moved into her town because of his dads job.
Warnings: none
Finally, the last costumer before i close up..Atleast thats what i thought. My eyes flashed before my mind as i saw a tall brunette boy walk in. He closed the door behind him and as he walked over to the counter i quickly jumped behind my coworker and whispered to her while holding on to her apron.
"omg omg...can you please serve himm?" i whispered. She rolled her eyes at me and noded a no as she slightly pulled her apron out of my fist. "get up." she said motioning me to serve him. I sighed and walked over to the front. I put on a fake polite smile even though my stomach was doing flips. He finally walked over and looked around thinking what he should get before he finally spoke up.
"Hello.. could I get a chai tea please?" he said.
I noded while trying to get my words out. "Yeah..coming right up."
I quickly walked over to make his order. He just sat down on a chair behind the counter, patiently waiting while scrolling on his phone.
...As i waited for the water to boil i noticed my coworker walking up to me in the corner of my eye. She moved my hair out of her way and whispered. "Ohh do you like him??" she said.
My face turned PALE. I noded a no. God i was bad at lying. She chuckled at me and shaked her head before returning back to work.
I made his tea and awkwardly walked up to him. I slowly placed his order on the counter he was sitting behind. "Here you go.." i said quietly with a small grin on my face. I tried asking if he needed anything else but i stuttered so i just gave up.”U-m w- would- you like anything e-else?..” i said with my cheeks RED. He just laughed it off and smiled.. “you’re cute.. no im good tho..”. After i heard the words that came from his mouth i blushed so hard before smiling politely and walking away.
I quickly made my way to the “workers only” room and pulled my phone out of my back pocket and texted my bestfriend;
"Omg girl you wont believe it im literally shaking right now. Theres a boy who came into the cafe right before we closed up. Hes soooo cuttee!! Ive never seen him before though.." i quickly typed in before turning the phone off, shoving it back into my pocket and returning back.
As I washed the dishes from the last costumers my mind was full of the worst scenarios and things;
Should I ask if he moved here?
No why would you do that dumbass.
Hes so cute.
Omg what if i embarrass myself right in front of him!
..and suddenly my coworker snapped her fingers in my face. "Are you even washing the dishes y/n?" I snapped out of it and noded as i looked down at the running water.
He finished his drink and left the money on the counter before he just disappeared. I picked the money up and noticed that he left a tip, I smiled to myself, looking at the money before putting it in the register.
...Who is that boy?
-
We closed the cafe and i left to go home.
For the whole ride home i was thinking about him.
..but really who is he?
PART TWO coming soon
first time writing i hope its alright..
Im going to make multiple parts of this cause it will get interesting (i hope). If yall do not like the story keep scrolling.
TAGS:
@imwetforyourmom
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envy-of-the-apple · 3 months
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That what if when ms. moon already has a family but has to leave because of him is so HEARTBREAKING. Imagine moving on from a tramatic situation, meeting the love of your life, having a wonderful kid for all that to just get squashed in a instant. That literally had me about to tear up but imagine her kid was a bit older lets say like 10 (i know the math doesnt add up well with the timeline but its a what if)and then she just has to leave, that alone would greatly negatively impact the kid, just leaving a lasting mark. Maybe the kid would remember gojo’s face and resent him for the rest of their life.
The husband thing is equally as sad because I imagine ms.moon as shes about to leave crying and whispering how much she loves him and that shes so sorry. (Bonus heartbreak points they all breakdown as shes about to leave and she cant even hug or kiss them goodbye because shes being watched). After this incident ms.moon’s pervious family completes spiral down the drain and moon’s mental state goes down the drain with it
In conclusion amazing story but that shit was sad as fuck but I still eat it up with silverware and all
(merging multiple SEM asks cuz i feel so guilty for clogging up ppls dashes lmao)
ughhhh anytime kids are involved it just gets way more depressing, right? It think age 8-10 is like the worst time for this to this to happen because the kid can understand little, but not enough to get the whole picture.
The kid knows that their mom is leaving, but they aren't seeing the wavering tears in Ms.moon's eyes, the shaky hands, as you hug them for the last time. All that they can see is the fancy new car your new lover sits in. The grand ring that sits on your finger. Yeah, your kid will hate gojo for ripping apart your family.
But they'll hate you more, considering you're running off with a man who has more money than their father.
I think the only upside is that gojo might not bat an eye if you send money back to your family, keeping them comfortable. With enough pleading, he might pull a few string to get your kid into a good school. With your indirect help, your kid will have the best education and prosperity. Them resenting you is a pretty small price to pay, right?
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in the fic, the case took about three weeks, so it took three weeks for gojo to just snap.
He would definetly try to toy with ms.moon for as long as he can. Despite claiming that he forgave ms.moon, he does carry a tiny bit of resentment. It's kind of a punishment, in that sense.
And honestly the moment he figures out you who are, I doubt you'd have a chance to run anymore. The reason why Ms.moon was able to 'get away' the first time was because gojo was still a teenager, hier of the gojo conglomerate, but still not powerful yet. Now, he has tons of resources available for him. You're not getting away lmao, I think that's why he's so much at ease this time around.
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I never really considered the family's response. their reactions is something I'm not really interested in exploring. i don't think they got any characterization other than 'housewife mom' and 'dad who works'. I don't really think ms.moon would even mention gojo's torment to them. It'd be embarrassing, knowing that some kid the same age as you is just lording over your life, right? I did mention that Gojo confronts your family in EKM, but I don't like that addition now, so I'm retconning it. I feel like they'd find out just like everyone else did: From the media. Everyone in your little town knew who the Gojo was, but the fact that their kid is getting married to one of them has so be surprising.
But then again, not something im interested in exploring
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If Gojo had managed to find Ms. Moon before, things would certainly have been much different. The gojo now has 'cooled down' and is far less volatile. If they had met again, if they were in their early twenties....things would not be much different from his high school counterpart.
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wildgirllz · 1 year
Note
this is super random thought that i had about Bucky, i shared it to people before but never put on asks/requests... so could you write something like this?
Imagine you getting a new roommate. Or should I say roommates because you did not expect Bucky would move in with certain adorable fluffball named Alpine. You don't mind though, you always wanted a pet but never had the chance to adopt any. And having Alpine around feels like she's your pet as well.
Your relationship with Bucky wasn't the best or the worst. It was neutral. Mostly because Bucky himself was quite reserved. He is either not at home (possibly in some sort of mission with Sam) or he's curling up with Alpine somewhere within the shared apartment. But that don't mean that y'all are not secretly pining for each other ;)
One day, you came back home from work to see Bucky pacing around anxiously. Turns out Alpine was missing, he can't find her anywhere. So they decided to went out to search for her.
You found Alpine first, she was being chased by an unleashed dog. Your poor baby was running for her life. Not thinking twice, you try to catch up with her and scoop her up to your chest before stumbling on the ground. You ended up hovering over the cat, protecting her from the feral dog. Indirectly getting yourself bitten/scratched on your shoulders, your back, any spot that was exposed to the dog. You were bleeding due to the unrestrained strength from the dog's attacks, but you mind was more concern of the cat in your arms.
When Bucky saw this. How you were literally sacrificing your body for Alpine; well he almost went full winter soldier mode. Like... no one touches "his girls". No one. But he managed to hold it back (cause we don't want to hurt the doggo) and of course, saves the day.
And the next following days were just how Bucky clings to you and do every little thing for you so you don't have to lift a finger when he's around.
You pull out your mug, he would take it from you and get your coffee done before you could stop him. You open the cabinet door in the storage room, he'd take the vaccum out before you could reach out to it. He made sure that your breakfast, lunch and dinner was on the dot; of course he was the chef of all the amazing dishes served to you.
It was nice and all at first but its not like you were paralyzed or something. And its been nearly 2 weeks. Your wounds were almost healed. You wanted to do something at least but apparently Bucky thinks that you needed rest.
So you kinda raised your tone, "i can't even make grab myself snack from the kitchen now? Whats next, Bucky? You'll bathe me? Or better yet you'll help me to get off? Cause god forbid I can't even turn on a fucking vibrator because I'm 'severely injured ' "
You were spouting all the things that you thought he wouldn't have the guts to do, just to make him stop doing literally everything for you. But turns out he was more than willing to do exactly what you just proposed.
Maybe he don't even need to use the vibrator. Maybe his fingers were enough, or his mouth, or his cock.
This is how I imagined it in my head, but feel free to write in your own way though! Have a nice day, love ♡
Girl look at that request 💀 you’re insane
Here you go!! <3
(I most definitely did not do your request justice im so sorry)
Let Me Do It Myself
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It had been nearly two weeks since you saved Alpine from the unleashed dog, and Bucky had been hovering over you ever since. At first, it was nice to have someone taking care of you, but now it was starting to feel suffocating.
You were sitting on the couch, trying to work on your laptop, but Bucky kept interrupting you. Every time you tried to do something, he would jump up and do it for you. It was driving you crazy.
"Bucky, please," you said, exasperated. "I can get my own glass of water."
"I just want to help," he replied, looking at you with concern.
"I know, and I appreciate it, but I need to do things for myself. I'm not helpless."
Bucky looked at you for a moment, then nodded slowly. "Okay, I understand. But if you need anything, just ask."
You nodded, relieved that he seemed to be getting the message. But over the next few days, he continued to hover, always ready to jump up and do things for you. You were starting to feel like a burden.
One evening, you were making yourself a sandwich when Bucky walked into the kitchen.
"Let me do that," he said, reaching for the knife.
"No, Bucky," you said firmly. "I can make my own sandwich."
"I just want to help," he repeated.
"I know, but I need to do things for myself. I need to feel like I'm not completely helpless."
Bucky looked at you for a moment, then sighed. "Okay, I understand. But please be careful."
You rolled your eyes. "I will."
As the days passed, you tried to assert your independence, but it seemed like every time you did, Bucky was there to pick up the slack. You were starting to get frustrated.
Then, one day, you snapped.
"I can't even make grab myself snack from the kitchen now?" you said, your voice rising. "What's next, Bucky? You'll bathe me? Or better yet, you'll help me to get off? Because God forbid I can't even turn on a fucking stove because I'm 'severely injured.'"
Bucky looked at you, his expression unreadable. "Is that what you really think of me?"
The passion between them was palpable, the tension wrapping around them tight like a cord in the small bedroom. The thundering rain outside its windows provided the perfect background music for their highly charged moment.

Bucky Barnes had just crossed a line, pushing his luck with pushing the boundaries of her patience, and now he was paying the price. She was angry and she had every right to be. 

'You always do this,' she said, her voice tight with frustration. 'You always think that you know what's better for me than I know for myself.'

'No, I just,' he stumbled over his words, her anger turning him on. 'I don't want you to get hurt.'

She huffed in response, pushing his chest away from her and not even trying to hide her scowl. He stepped back and let his hands slide off of her body, feeling the loss of her warmth instantly.

She knew that her frustration was only turning him on more, which only made her angrier. She wanted to take control of the situation.

' You don't get to make decisions for me, Bucky,' she said, her voice softer this time around, though still firm with her assertion.

He swallowed, his throat actually running dry, his body responding in a way that only she could make it. He stepped closer to her, his hands sliding around her waist before he pulled her into him. 

She expected him to say something in response, not to take her in his arms and bring his lips down upon hers.

Their mouths moved together as if they had done this a million times, each stroke and caress of their lips only making them hungrier for more. His fingers ran up her back, squeezing her closer and further teasing her already sensitised skin.

The taste of him consumed her, making her forget why she was even angry with him in the first place. He let out a groan of satisfaction as her hands ran through his hair, both trying to deepen the kiss.

Finally when they did pull apart, both of them breathing heavily, their eyes connected, neither wanting to break the contact.

He leaned down again, his lips running down her neck, her moan vibrating through his body as he left a trail of gentle kisses. She arched into him as his tongue ran over her collarbone, his hands exploring her body as he moved lower. 

He groaned when his fingers touched her between her thighs and her body instantly reacted, pressing against him, desperate to feel the pleasure his hands were giving her.

He pulled back and looked at her, their eyes still connected as each of them tried to take the other in. His face was filled with admiration and appreciation as he said, 'You're so beautiful.'

He cupped her chin in his hand and kissed her again as he lowered her onto the bed, his body following hers as her hips moved against his. For a moment, he paused, his lips still connected to hers, a question in his eyes, asking for her permission. 

Her eyes answered for her when she let out a soft moan, pushing herself against him even more, pressing his body into hers. 

He responded by pushing himself in, their bodies melting together as he started to move, his hips moments surging upward with each thrust. His hands still moved around her body, both bracing for the intensity of the pleasure, and caressing her soft curves, taking in the sensation of her body against his.

'God, you feel so good,' he said, his words barely audible over her moans of pleasure.

The intensity built as they moved together, each of them finding their release moments later, Bucky burying his face into her neck and calling out her name as his orgasm swept over them.

They laid there, their bodies still connected, until finally Bucky rolled off of her and laid on his back next to her. 

He reached over and gently brushed her hair away from her face, a satisfied smile gracing his face. He paused for a moment, just taking her in, before finally speaking.

'I'm sorry for trying to make decisions for you,' he said softly, regret laced into his voice. 'I just want to take care of you and make sure that nothing ever hurts you. I love you.'

“I love you so much, Bucky.”
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