#because i can’t run at all

[some-kind-of-winged-thing]

i hate living here. my parents are disrespectful and hateful of my identity as a trans man, and when you add on top of that the fact that i’m disabled and they don’t believe me? boy don’t you have a mess.

i have no income, no job, no car, no credit, no freedom, very limited mobility, and basically no access to the outside world.

i’m tired of living in this room and in this phone. i want to travel, i want to dance, i want to swim, i want to be able to live how i want.

not only does the country make that super difficult because i’m trans, but my body makes that super difficult because i’m disabled.

i’ve been asked to clean my room for months now and i’m in a constant struggle with keeping it clean enough for them to get off my ass and keeping it in a certain order so my autism doesn’t flip out when i can’t find something that once was in a perfect place.

then there’s the fact that a lot of the energy it takes to clean my room comes from sleeping, which has been a massive problem lately. i got a breathing machine for sleep but the mask overwhelms and overstimulates me and it keeps me up way later than just sleeping on my own would.

i also am forced to do the whole family’s laundry every weekend. i have proof in a message conversation with my dad that i’ve told him before that moving the baskets of clothes from machine to machine and then across the house to the living room to fold is way too hard on my body and it has several times in the past caused me to pass out.

yet every weekend it’s the same thing. why didn’t you move the clothes from the machines and bring them to the living room? why don’t you just do it quickly and then you can sit down for a while and cool off afterwards?

this morning i snapped at my father “i was under the impression that we had an arrangement where someone else would bring the baskets of clothes out to me and i would fold them.”

his response? “no we had an arrangement when you weren’t feeling good. i was happy to do it then.”

two things:

first, when was the most recent time i “wasn’t feeling good?” was it last week? what about the week before that? what about before that? yeah that’s right it was all of those and more. his idea of me not feeling good is when he can tell, which was two weeks ago when i was having a flare up.

second, why aren’t you happy to do it now? am i too much work for you? does my disability tire you? is it annoying when you can’t have a day in bed because your adult son can’t do the laundry on his own? is this disability that affects EVERY ASPECT OF MY LIFE frustrating you because you have to help me with this one thing? sorry i didn’t realise i was inconveniencing you.

i never feel well enough to do anything, but i do shit anyway. i refuse, however, to do physical work and/or heavy lifting because i have pots which is why i faint. i will not crack open my fucking skull just because you don’t wanna help me. either you help me or it doesn’t get done. i’m sick of this.

i can’t tell my parents this of course. but it’s nice to get it out of my head. i hate living here but at the same time i’m terrified to get kicked out because i can’t go anywhere. i have no support system in this state and no income at all. i’ve been basically housebound since the winter holidays of 2021. i hate staying but i have to.

why does it have to be this way for disabled people? why does it have to be this way for trans people? why can’t the world believe us?

#vent post #tw cursing #invisible disability #physically disabled #actually disabled #disabled #disability #pots #pots syndrome #can’t even run away #because i can’t run at all #cripple punk #queer cripple #angry cripple #crippled

[davidtennan-t]

Happy 60th Birthday to this little blue box show that has held my heart for nearly 19 years 🔷➕❤️❤️

#and introducing me to the man that is DT #he’s also held my heart all that time #violently #david tennant #tenth doctor #doctor who #dt #fourteenth doctor #Doctor who 60th #donna noble #ten x donna #catherine tate #jodie whittaker #and also shoutout to ncuti gatwa because I can’t want for his run

[steddiealltheway]

Something that is canon in my mind that I forget to tell people:

The reason why Steve can’t get bitches in his Scoops Ahoy era is because there’s a rumor going around that he’s gay (probably because someone caught him hooking up with Eddie)

#how else can you explain it??? #he is so so babygirl #all the girls would be literally at his feet begging for this man to date them #unless… they think he’s trying to make them his beard #also with the lipgloss and mascara… #it just adds fuel to the fire #and think. if Steve and Eddie were hooking up before scoops in a fwb gone wrong or secret relationship gone wrong type of situation… #aka Steve catches feelings and runs because of internalized homophobia and a fear of getting caught #there could be a season three rewrite of Steve catching feelings for Robin because she reminds him of Eddie #and after Robin comes out to him #Steve’s like “oh. maybe there are more people like me in Hawkins than I imagined. if she deserves a happy ending with a girl #why can’t I get a happy ending with a guy? #and steve slowly is able to come to terms with his sexuality #meanwhile eddie seeks out Dustin and the kids who steve has ranted and raved about #but he plays it off as him happening to find lost sheep #lots of thoughts… lots of thoughts… #all thoughts to explain why Steve isn’t able to get bitches #steve harrington #steddie #stranger things #scoops ahoy steve #stranger things headcanons

[skitskatstudios]

The fact Saiki’s aura is so big is really funny. Imagine Aiura, minding her own business, when suddenly all the auras disappear because Saiki’s taking a detour on his way home.

#She’s doing a reading and suddenly can’t use her powers because Saiki’s come to pick her up. #She knows when Saiki’s running late because auras suddenly disappear in the middle of class. #Like it’s not HIS job to keep tabs on where she is at all times. I mean he’s gonna anyway but sometimes he’ll forget! #saiki k #the disastrous life of Saiki k #hc #Aiura mikoto

[rekikiri]

I fully believe that Neil has had to get a rabies vaccine at some point in his life

#he needed a tetanus vaccine #lmao abby finding out neil doesn’t have a tetanus shot and being absolutely horrified #idk why but I can so see him getting bit by an animal #like maybe that’s one of the only times mary takes him to the hospital because what if it was rabid? #can’t risk your kid getting rabies on the run from the butcher!!! #aftg #neil josten #all for the game

[prodogg]

Can’t even speak your daughters name, please just spare me the false pretense, it’s sickening Heuchlerisch/Scheinheilig . Why "care" suddenly now hours later after she could be dead in some jungle but not right then and there when you still were at Hiraa and got your memories back…. okay vent over it continuous in the tags

Edit: Since people like to miss the point here, the writing decision of making Ursa suddenly care out of nowhere without showing any interest or care after getting her face in Hiraa for Azula or Zuko’s face is just very shallow to me, they can tell me all they want how Zuko searched, and apparently Ursa "helped". Her reaction upon seeing them for the first time again told me everything I as reader have to know. Then, seeing her crying on the boat is like a slap since it’s then feels very shallow, especially since she can’t even name Azula by name and says the "other" one.

#if you can’t tell I despise Comic’s Ursa #and don’t come with the 'but she was abused shit' it doesn’t excuse being a shitty character #or do you hear me excuse Azula killing Aang because abuse or Zuko stealing from The EK civilians #Zuko has a scar?! eh nothing wrong about that #My daughter running in a dangerous jungle ?! all fine #Smoke and Shadow is irredeemably bad #the search could be salvaged but Smoke and Weed shot the bird from the sky #anti comic Ursa #anti atla comics #azula #zuko #we have a word in German for how I felt she said this false pretense ihre heuchlerische Art #okay vent over #Ursa #atla #avatar the last airbender #pd talks #it’s feels just shallow

[soullessjack]

this isnt rlly a serious post more so than a thought I need to verbalize but like. there’s an INSANE difference between the fandom being like “hey what if jack was actually his age and got to be a little normal” vs y’all treating a grown ass man like he has to cover his ears when someone swears or sleep with a nightlight on because he’s afraid of the dark, and throwing the P word around to anyone who thinks he’s attractive. one of these things is not like the other.

#there’s a layer here about giving jack the childhood he specifically chose not to have #and ignoring his other choices because that’s just. idk a running theme with any character who struggles to have autonomy #but whatever idk #genuinely i think the past year or so that I’ve spent talking about this has burnt me out #either that or I’m just too fixated on VB to really care too much #like obviously I still care about it and wish more was done to help but it’s not really a warpath for me to walk currently #just. #I’m just tired dawg #it’s like talking to a deaf brick wall #please just do some research into infantilization I cannot keep having a one sided conversation with people who don’t care #spn #jack kline #baby jack #spn fandom #fandom critical #fandom ableism #tfw2.0 #not even just ableism it’s the whole mischaracterization woobified bullshit all over again #and the using baby jack as a prop for everyone else but I digress #jack: *chose not to be a child and hates being seen as one and is more than willing to get violent if he thinks he has to* #y’all for some fucking reason: he’s just a widdle baby he can’t handle the scary movie he needs his daddies to take care of him #I’ve already said all these things before #i am tired. so tired

[age-of-moonknight]

“The Terminal Seconds of Moon Knight,” Moon Knight (Vol. 9/2021), #30.

Writer: Jed MacKay; Penciler and Inker: Alessandro Cappuccio; Colorist: Rachelle Rosenberg; Letterer: Cory Petit

#Marvel #Marvel comics #Marvel 616 #Moon Knight vol. 9 #Moon Knight 2021 #Moon Knight comics #latest release #Moon Knight #Marc Spector #Khonshu #I always appreciate Mr. Cappuccio but I particularly appreciate how he was able to portray the complex emotion in that second to last panel #because gooooosh can’t believe I get to use this tag again #Khonshu encounter me in the trench #the man is dying and doing his best to save the city and Khonshu still manages to make it about him #because while we don’t get much in the way of Marc’s internal dialogue I feel like we can infer based on other issues in this run #that this time around Marc’s not doing this for Khonshu #there have been many times in Marc’s life where he’s sought Khonshu’s blessing or approval or notice or what have you #- I’m thinking (as much as I usually don’t like to) about the opening issues of the Huston run - #but this ain’t one of those times (it just happens to protect travelers of the night so Khonshu can claim it is all) #but yeah it’s the last panel for me #that dubious honor of having Khonshu be proud of him and the complex relationship that he and the whole system has with Khonshu #even though Khonshu has habitually tried to colonize his psyche and used him as a disposable pawn #there’s just something in Moon Knight comics pertaining to complex intra- and interpersonal relationships #with one’s own spirituality and sense of self and organized religion and fathers and distant gods #that I just cannot bring myself to shut up about (…unfortunately for the Moon Knight tumblr tag and as you may have figured #based on the metaphorical ink I’ve spilled on this blog)

[ghostbeam]

I am in fact cooking up pilot!touya who’s reckless and arrogant and does not think he needs a handler doesn’t think he needs anything actually he’s his own mechanic no one touches his mech but him he’s gone through so many handlers he’s stopped counting so when u arrive as his newly appointed handler he thinks he’ll give u a week at most except something about u makes him want to keep u around the longer he spends with u and as much as he shows u every rotten inch of himself u don’t run away which is more than anyone’s really ever given him before

#he thinks u like the rotten bits #and u do u like all of him #strei and mint roped me into their mecha au and I have THOUGHTS #he is obsessed with u because pilots are obsessive #in the same way he needs to be one w his mech he needs that with u too #guys I’m going insane #at some point he can’t let u stay away for too long #needs u inside with him makes u sit on his lap in the cockpit while he’s running tests #everyone. I need to die #ghost thoughts

[movedtodykedvonte]

Another interesting thing about the chase scene with Miles and all the other spiders is he never puts his mask back on until he’s about to go home.

The entire time he is running away as Miles cause he was rejected by the society on the basis of being Miles, the anomaly, not the Spider-man. Not cause he didn’t wear the mask correctly but on the arbitrary basis that he wasn’t supposed to be the one wearing it. The exact opposite of what being Spider-man is supposed to represent.

All the Spidermen that are eventually on his side have their masks off the entire time denoting a sense of personalness to the chase and their relation to Miles; coming to him as friends rather than Spiderpeople doing their duty. How they see him for he is, face to face and who he can be with that mask even if they aren’t quite at that point during the chase. It’s a notable contrast to all the Spidermen with covered faces who are just following orders and acting as Spidermen, even Miguel. It’s only at the end when Miguel makes it clear that this is more personal with Miles, when they are face to face, when his mask truly starts coming off and he is acting in the interest of Miguel rather than that of a Spider-man.

I think it’s a really clever way to show how it’s not important whose under the mask but at the same time noting how whose under the mask makes the Spider-Man and how they choose to uphold that mantle. Miles made up how he was going to do that at the end. Rejecting the society as Miles and returning as his own Spider-Man.

#like whenever Miguel talks to miles with the mask off it’s super personal but when he puts it on he’s sorta subdued #there’s a way Spider-Man acts but that doesn’t not apply to the person under it yet it can bleed into Spiderman #The entire time Migue is sorta trying to force a separation of those two things and forcing Miles to be Spider-Man first and Miles second #the mask allows you to hold the name but that’s about it it’s all determined by what’s underneath it #plus it makes miles seem more genuine and personable because we are seeing Miles go through these revelations not the hero #a scared boy running to save his dad under the mantle he believe would fight for it #while thousands of his own mask untied under his same beliefs try to say he can’t #anyway i should sleep #atsv #across the spiderverse #itsv #spiderverse #miles morales #miguel o'hara #atsv spoilers #into the spiderverse #across the spiderverse spoilers

[theshadowrealmitself]

Something something something angst about the mantle of hero identities getting passed around to new people, the duty of other heroes to accept this because it’s important that civilians keep feeling safe, villains being the only ones to truly get to mourn the original heroes and choosing to step out of their villain identities because they liked fighting the person not the hero, etc etc etc

#listen I love sidekicks and titles being passed down and stuff like that #but there’s always an inherent angst to me in like. the loss of identity? #because yeah at some point they just get acknowledged as superhero titles #but at the beginning of all that was a person making a costume and band intrinsic to *them* #*name not band #I doubt anyone starts off being a hero with the thought that they’d pass down their hero stuff to someone else #then eventually there’s a third generation wearing their costume and stuff #because it’s important that their work continues and the whole symbolically the hero continues on in sone form and villainy doesn’t win #but do they even know about all the personal stuff that went into it from the first person who started that mantle #one thing I always think about is like (and I know this is sidekicks but stay with me here) the robin thing from b*tman #now I can’t remember if this was someone’s hc or if it was in one of the runs or whatever #but it goes that: robin comes from a nickname dick’s parents gave him #because they were the fl*ing gr*twins with their little birdie robin #*gr*ysons not twins god damn it #and again I can’t remember if that’s an actual thing #but imagine if it was #and there’s all those robins after him wearing his suit or some variation of it #calling themselves the hero name he gave himself to honor his parents as he tries to find their killer #no other way to think about for me it’s just. loss of identity #anyways #no fandom #heroes #supervillains #superheroes and supervillains in general

[crow-in-springtime]

Abed had the right idea when he made a room entirely for acting out potential social situations and their outcomes and also acting out episodes of his favorite tv show with his boyfriend, actually. Like why can’t I do that?

#I already run through all potential (negative) outcomes because of anxiety in my head why can’t I have a room dedicated to it? #it would really help me visualize the space #also I know Troy helped create the dreamatorium but rn I’m thinking of virtual system’s analysis #which I can’t do for long or else I become physically ill and mentally unwell #anyway. onto the tags that matter #abed nadir #community nbc #community #nbc community #troy barnes #trobed

[qc-wiggles]

cursed genshin au from a month ago! enjoy.

(read tags for more)

#i typed out about a million tags and then i lost the post so here i am typing it again #but i am DETERMINED i will not back down #ok quoting myself here when i was going on about this: #jons action voiceline is a very long wheeze #he would lose stamina so fast hes practically unusable #you cant aim with him bc the screen starts to wobble and whatever arrows you fire will never hit anything except for the sky #his attack speed is so slow like it takes him 5 seconds to attack twice. #he only has 2 attack animations. half of them are him struggling to draw the bow #he releases the arrow and stumbles backwards so you have to jump cancel #he has 5 voice lines about martin ALONR #his burst is him throwing a teacup instead of papers #watching it shatter despondently on the floor #where it makes the ground slippy 10000%+ #he’s not even a hydro character. he’s dendro. #even with all the reactions you can’t run him in any team because his aoe is so small and his elemental application is so bad #unskippable cutscene of jon flaming the absolute shit out of martin #jon is unusable without martin in the same team bc his defence is so shit #MARTINS BURST IS A LITTLE TEACHP BUT UNLIKE JON YOU HEAL FROM IT AND YOU CAN HEAL FROM SUPER FAR AWAY #sasha is yanfei aligned and tim is kaeya aligned. i used to main yanfei btw i love yanfei so much #wiggly pen #doodle #tma au #tma genshin au

[maxgicalgirl]

Carlos is the kind of autistic I am and Cecil is the kind of autistic I want to be

#wtnv #Cecil Palmer #welcome to night vale #Carlos the scientist #cecilos #90% of my wtnv listening experience is just me wishing I could be as lovably weird and completely unhinged as Cecil is #like the guy just goes for it he literally does not give a fuck #and I’m like ‘god I wish that were me’ he’s just the character of all time and I aspire to be more like him #instead I spend 90% of my actual real life running from my problems and making my entire identity my interests #feeling awkward in the space I take up but making up for it by overextending myself via finding a problem and throwing myself at it #I think a lot of this is because Carlos masks and Cecil doesn’t but that’s a different thought for a different time #honestly them as a couple has been helping me feel better about myself #like Carlos is a great character and I find his growth indicative of growth I could experience #and I think a lot of that growth can be attributed to wanting to be more like Cecil #and from having him in his life #so by loving Carlos because he is me and by having Cecil in my life as a character maybe I too can go on this experience of growth #don’t mind me I’m just rambling again #max rambles in the tags #I kin Carlos if you can’t tell lol

[kinos-fortress-2]

miss pauling WOULD NOT SMELL FINE.

#me disagreeing at everything about miss pauling that people paints her as something good sweet or cool #WHEN SHES NOT COOL OR AWESOME OR SMELLS GOOD AT ALL SHAKES YOU AROUND LIKE A BOTTLE #she smells LIKE HUMAN SWEAT and old clothes from a humid closet she barely cleans. like a grandma. #well grandmas do smell nice. BUT THATS NOT THE FACT #ok well she does smell fine and bearable maybe he hair smells like bed sheets no changed at all #because she wakes up so early she doesn’t have time to clean her room or make her bed #she just instantly runs not even eating breakfast and dying of hunger until either scout or soldier gives her a cookie #or a half eaten pork beans in soldiers courtesy #and gets home late EXHAUSTED and throws herself in the bed to later wake up in 5 minutes #me wanting to expose her every single damn time i am evil like that to my ult #oh yeah her hair doesn’t smell that good at all. full of lice. and greasy. girl wash YOUR HAIR that’s what demo always says to her #prob demo often times calls her out or secretly spy will come and said damn my mask doesn’t even smell that bad than that hair of yours #but is either of those two. wait what i was talking about #her teeth are so yellow because she forgets to clean them #crusty eyes too. can’t put makeup stupidass just only puts her fav purple lipstick to hide her crusty lips #takes a deep breath… fuck. woman failure

[yourmomxx]

If you think about it, all of Batman’s villains are just misunderstood theater kids

#because I mean cmon #a clown in a purple tux who just loves murdering #and a guy in a green top hat running around wanting you to solve puzzles all day #you can’t tell me those aren’t theater kids #batman #dc comics #gotham #gotham city #batman villains #the joker #the riddler #dc batman #batman imagine #bruce wayne x reader #incorrect dc comics #batboys #batfamily #incorrect dc quotes #batboys imagine #incorrect batfamily quotes #batfamily imagine #batfamily x reader #batboys x reader