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open-hearth-rpg · 3 months

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Coming Back: Fallen Campaigns & Rebirths

From Age of Ravens

CAN CAMPAIGNS AGE WELL?

This first part of the year sees me coming back to two longer online series I’ve run before. The first is the third and what I plan to be the final arc of our Godbound campaign. This is after a long break, with the second arc happening in mid-2022. At this point they have hit the higher levels there and I want to close out some of those stories. It’s been a great couple dozen sessions and I love these characters, but I want to get that some resolution.

The other is Fearful Symmetries, a Trail of Cthulhu campaign set in 1930s England, with the characters as magicians fighting a secret war. We finished the first story in March of last year. We took advantage of the real world time gap to give the characters a gap as well. Session one was a “getting the band back together” episode. In it we got to see how each investigator had dealt with the fallout from their arcane showdown. It provided a solid baseline the characters have been able to play off of.

Last year I also returned to a Hearts of Wulin mystery series with two new cases. We managed to reconnect with the big picture threats and story, even though it’d been over a year since we’d played last. We plan on coming back to that for another mystery later this year. Likewise we’re planning on coming back to our Girl by Moonlight game– three months wasn’t enough so we’re going to add another two months to wrap the story.

Here’s the thing: I have never, ever been able to do this with a face to face game. Every single hiatus or break for a campaign has resulted in that campaign dying out. And it wasn’t just me, I saw this happen to other GMs in the area. My late friend Barry was notorious for this– starting amazing high concept campaigns with energy, but then “taking a short break” which meant we’d never play again.

Another one, Rob, had something of the opposite problem. He would run long, multi-year campaigns. Then at some point he would take a break for burnout or to recharge his batteries. Inevitably he never returned to these campaigns, leaving them so close to the finish line the players could see it. He would tease folks with the possibility of going back and finishing their stories, but never would.

And I’m not innocent of this. But it has been a while since I “paused” a game as a way of ducking out. Now if it isn’t working I say that and call it or tell everyone and then steer into some kind of finale. That, like Barry and Rob above, comes from me as a GM not feeling it.

MORTAL BELOVED

But then we have those games that I wanted to return to. The ones which never got finished because circumstances worked against them. Or the inertia of things pulled us away. Or the people changed in the intervening period. These I really mourn.

I ran a dynamite short Star Wars series which was intended to be the first movie,in a “new trilogy” (before the new trilogy actually came out). This Episode VII absolutely clicked and I planned to do Episode VIII after a short break for another game. But by the time it was possible, that gaming group had reorganized. Other GMs’ new games took up the nights and players available. We never went back.

We had a great Exalted Dragon-Blooded game that we had to hold off from because two of the players went through a divorce. We tried coming back to it, but the one member of the couple who returned clearly wasn’t feeling it. So we ended up dropping it. A similar thing happening with a wuxia game, using Storyteller, I ran with a great trio of players. When one of them unexpectedly decided to stop playing because he and his wife had issues, we had to close that down. Because he never actually told us, we never got to do a finale session.

And, of course, COVID has killed a couple of my games. We had a long-running Sunday group, going on twenty years, but we ended that. Another campaign had been running for almost four years. I asked about transitioning to online, but one of the players (ironically the one who had kibosh’ed the wuxia game) refused to play online. So we went on hold, but I knew we would never come back. The other two f2f campaigns which we transitioned to online survived. One, 13th Age, eventually shifted back to in-person after a year and a half. The other remains online.

But online games, somehow, have managed to survive these breaks. We’ve gone back and picked them up without missing a beat. I had a long-running Mutants & Masterminds campaign online where we broke up each arc with a different game. And it worked– each time we came back folks knew the world and were excited to play again, even if it’d been many months.

BREAKING POINTS

So why?

I have theories. First, having an accessible, shared body of material really helps. Character keepers remain– people don’t can’t file away their characters sheets and lose them. They don’t feel like artifacts of something lost. You can review your own character and remind yourself who everyone else played. Keepers offer a strong, complete snapshot of where the game ended. That’s especially true if someone kept a running log of notes. An NPC tab with pictures goes a long way to reorienting people to the setting and situation.

Second, it is easy. You set a schedule and share links. It’s all there, ready and waiting for you. If someone can’t return you can hide their character in the keeper. Maybe they will come back eventually. It's easy to slot in new players to these kinds of ongoing campaigns.

Third, you can return exactly to the space you left. You return to an online call– a timeless zone. Things may have changed, but generally you can fall back to a sense of familiarity. That goes a long way to establishing continuity.

Fourth, it overcomes a certain inertia which applies to all online games. I’m a generally shy person; when I have to go somewhere physically, I don’t dig it. My brain looks for excuses not to go out into public. Online play clears away some of that.

Fifth, online play– at least in our community— is built on a certain social contract. Players sign up for games– something which asks for a modest commitment to play on their part. That’s combined with a waiting list which means that if folks can’t show up, other people can be slotted in. That combines to create a pressure to actually show up or at least to work to make sure other people have access to those slots. Ironically I think that makes people more likely to show up. The act of just having a system makes it more likely folks will consider their attendance and participation.

LAST EPISODES

Are there lessons we can take from those for non-online games going on breaks or hiatus? Maybe? I suspect having a shared folder– maybe of scanned documents and materials– would make it easy to come back. Likewise keeping a copy of everyone’s character sheet. NPC image collections can help as well– maybe with Pinterest sub-boards. Starting again online and then moving back to f2f might be a good way to gauge if everyone’s still on board. It might also be good, even if the game was more casual before, to set up a calendar and some kind of sign ups. That helps support and remind community members.

I have a handful of games I really want to go back to. In the past I would have considered those dead and buried, but know I’m not go sure.

#ttrpg #rpg

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absolutebl · 11 months

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Hi ABL! I’ve just watched Our Dating Sim and The Promise and like a lot of people I adored ODS and wasn’t as keen on The Promise… thinking about it though, they have a very similar premise, one guy kisses his friend, panics and runs away and ghosts him for 7-10 years… the abandoned friend is traumatised by this and is very happy when they reunite, and the one who ran away never really has to grovel to get him back…

Why do you think this worked so well in Our Dating Sim and fell flat in The Promise?

They the same premise - Why do we like Our Dating Sim SO MUCH better than The Promise?

Two BLs, both alike in premises, in fair Tumblr, where we lay our scene, from ancient pining trope to new romances, where sunshine gay makes chaos gay unseem(ly).

Couple of answers.

Time span of existing relationship: ODS set them up as first loves in high-school, but has them start & end in high school. So they didn't know each other well, just fast & intense as teens. The Promise gave us a long friendship since middle school through to college. So when Phu runs away he should have know better: himself, his friend, and their relationship. This makes his character disengeuntions and mistrusting at best, stupid at worse.

Depicted personality of characters: Our artist nerd Lee Wan is clearly closed-off and geeky. He gets rejected (he thinks), forced to move house, and then a death in the family as a 1-2-3 punch. Plus we understand that his personality is to retreat under those circumstances. Phu's personality is more open, he is in the service industry, for goodness sake! He runs away and removes himself from the situation why? Doesn't make sense for his character. And then he lies about it!

The LIEING: Phu lied about where he went and what he did for 10 years. 10 YEARS! ALSO he made OTHERS lie for him. Lee Wan ran away, ghosted, and disappeared but he never lied about it. In fact, his webtoon could be construed as a cry for help, designed to find, exactly who it needed to find, KiTae.

The support characters: Nan is given tons of options in lover who are NOT Phu, options that seem better than Phu (who are better - more earnest, more forthright, more communicative, more open). Neither of the boys in ODS are ever given alternates. The narrative is telling us that they are meant for each other from start to finish.

Character growth: ODS dealt with the resulting fall-out of KiTae's abandonment issues (issues that are the result of Lee Wan's running). It shows Lee Wan realizing what he did and the damage it caused. It shows Lee Wan choosing to stay this time because he has learned and grown as a person and as someone worthy of KiTae's love. Phu never grew.

I had another one but I forgot what it was...

#the promise the series #our dating sim #thai bl #korean bl #two BLs alike in

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harlstark · 7 months

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Do you think Harley ever tried to somewhat fit in with his peers in high school and ended up trying alcohol and other things? And would Tony ever find out about it and would he end up having a talk considering his own past?

you have unleashed a BEAST of conversation from me. you don’t even understand.

in most (but not all) of my takes of harley he absoLUTELY has ended up with such things in his possession, however, not for the sake of fitting it with his peers. in my most personal, beloved, and first ever rendition of him which i’ve held in my heart and mind for… almost 6 years now? he delves into alcohol, among many other substances, at first through peer pressure/force of cigarettes, and then through attempts to cope with alcohol and narcotics, which whirlwinds into addiction of those as well as heavier, more uncontrolled substances, all as a result of the snap/blip/whatever you wanna call it. in this rendition, tony is his primary saving grace and takes him in completely, spending several years helping him wane him out of it and become sober. in my most recent version of him that i have written, he delves into these things on a whim, more casually, less frequently, but still as a poor means of trying to cope with the bad cards he has been dealt in life and extreme circumstances he faces. in the less common cases, where i explore the opposite, he actually fears alcohol to a great extent because of his father’s—and also mother’s, influence. in these situations he is quite traumatized by it and avoids it entirely. however, he also falls short of addiction in other ways outside of substances without realizing it, and these addictions come in the form of careless physical intimacy, overworking himself, and in two particular fics: power/vengeance (because the reality of life is that anything can become an addiction). most of this stems, of course, because of his father, but also because of harley’s quote about his mother being at the “diner” which we can see in town is actually a bar. plus, because he is tony’s mirror image of sorts, and their dynamic duo and harley’s character almost in entirety was designed to reflect tony’s insecurities of himself and the child he once was that suffered due to his own father and life circumstances (shown in the lines “what’s his name?” and “dads leave(…)”). when you take in that information, we can infer that with these similarities, and with harley being left in the dirt of a drunkard, conservative, small-town, with little to do, that the path of his future lies in tony’s past (or, at least, that it could).

i have yet to finish most, and am reworking some, but my AO3 @ paisparker has several fics focusing on harley where this topic is explored in—i believe, all of them.

#harley keener #mcu #marvel #parkner #peter parker #ironman

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cleo-fox · 4 months

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The “When Are You Updating?” Ask

I should say up front that this isn’t in response to anything I received. This topic came up in a Discord server that I’m in and another friend of mine got a similar ask shortly after.

I’ve alluded to the fact that this Tumblr isn’t my first account and that I’ve written for other fandoms previously. What I haven’t talked about is why I’m taking an extended hiatus from that fandom or why the majority of my work in this one has been one shots.

Historically, I’ve been a long fic writer. On my other pen name, I posted a long fic that had a fairly decent following in that particular corner of fandom. I’m a slow writer under normal circumstances but when the pandemic hit, I started having more trouble writing and my updates slowed a lot. I worked in a public facing role and the stress I was experiencing was unlike anything I’d ever dealt with before. About a year into the pandemic, I got pregnant.

To sum it up: I was pregnant, which put me at a higher risk for developing complications from Covid. I was working in a public facing role, which increased my risk of catching Covid and had the added factor of people being aggressive about not complying with mask mandates. Because of my pregnancy, I was not able to take critical medications, which then negatively affected my focus and energy levels. I was dealing with other chronic illnesses that were exacerbated or changed by pregnancy, as well as the physical symptoms of pregnancy itself. Then there was also the delivery, which had complications, as well as adjusting to life with a newborn and then going back to work.

I was upfront about all of this. I said that my fics weren’t abandoned, but that I didn’t know when the next update would be because I was dealing with a lot.

I still got asks asking why hadn’t I updated yet.

I knew that these asks came from a good, well-intentioned place. I loved that people were so excited about my writing that they wanted to read more. I loved that they cared so deeply about my characters. I didn’t want to sound ungrateful for their enthusiasm or their support, nor did I want to initiate a pile on with a snarky reply or make someone feel bad for asking a genuine question. I often struggled with how to word my replies, to find a way to be grateful for their enthusiasm while also reiterating that I had a lot on my plate and that I would write more someday, but that I didn’t know when someday was.

It didn’t seem to matter, though. No matter how many times I said the same thing, the asks still kept coming. The worst ones were the ones that scolded me for taking so long because the sender didn’t know how long they would be in this fandom or the ones that included the phrase “I know you had a baby but…” Those hurt. Those made me feel like people saw me as a content creation machine and not like a person.

Eventually, this started to negatively impact my desire to interact with that community, as well as my desire to write that story. When you log in and you know that there’s a good chance your inbox is going to have one of those notes, it’s hard to feel enthusiastic about logging in at all.

So I decided that I needed to take a break. I still check that pen name every so often and I still intend to finish those other fics, but I need some time. This pen name was created out of a desire to give myself the space to write on my own terms, and I’m grateful for all the people here who have let me do that.

And honestly? If you want a writer to update, it is far, far more effective to talk about what you love about their fic. There are so many times when I’ve been pulled out of a writing slump by a comment or reblog where someone talked about what they enjoyed about my fic. That kind of engagement is more motivating than a request for an update could ever be.

There’s that one post going around with the compilation of crazy AO3 author’s notes—the ones that are like “sorry this chapter is a day late, I spent the night in federal prison lmao.” It’s a great post and I love that there are people like that. I admire people who can create art despite their circumstances. But for every writer like that, there’s someone like me who’s going through some shit and doesn’t have the time or energy to write the same way that she does when things are going okay. I wish people would remember that.

TLDR: be kind.

#fanfiction #fan fic #fan fiction

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360iris · 14 days

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After the Lucien/Feyre ACOFAS conversation, and Feyre’s lack of regard for an ounce of Lucien’s overall feelings— I genuinely hope he doesn’t bother a second more with the NC past being emissary.

“Band of Exiles bullshit” is what Feyre thought after he’d admitted he’d found a home with Jurian and Vassa. She even pokes fun at him to his face for making friends with humans as though it were beneath him now. As if Jurian and Vassa’s help weren’t crucial in ending the war. As though she’d even tried to bridge the gap between her and Lucien.

Lucien gets blindsided and officially kicked out of the Spring Court because of her and Rhys specifically and she literally lashes out at him unprovoked.

Lucien isn’t perfect but he adjusted far quicker than any other character in all of the series could’ve ever done given his circumstances and he’s still given shit for it. I hope he finds a strong friend in Jurian and does what he can to stay with Vassa.

Elain can’t stand the sight of him, and is only tied to him because of the bond.

He deserves so much better than Feyre’s halfassed apologies while actually spitting in his face about making as few friendships as he can given his lot in life that he actually had no part in fucking up.

And he definitely deserves better than a mate who sees him as a thorn in her side.

It’s so clear he doesn’t mesh well with the Inner Court or Velaris. That isn’t his home and they aren’t his friends. Cass is indifferent at best, Az obviously holds the fact he’s mated to Elain against him, Rhys can’t stand him solely for his history with Tamlin (which is by no means Lucien’s fault because the man originally claimed him and helped him when his family made him homeless after murdering the love of his life in front of him). And then there’s the beef with Nesta.

Literally no one actually wants him there.

And the only reason Feyre says she does is because to her it looks good on paper, in theory. But even she doesn’t actually care for him if she can’t bring herself to be kind, or fully forgive him for the choice he had to make between her or Tamlin.

She’s by no means a friend to him anymore, especially since she’s actively hiding who his real father is. She’d give him hell, plus more, if he’d hid that he even suspected something similar, but kept it to himself. She’s a literal hypocrite.

I’ve been a Lucien shooter since day one, it genuinely pisses me off just how much shit he gets dealt. That man deserves PEACE! For once! Enough, Sarah!!

#acofas #lucien vanserra

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envihellbender · 1 year

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What kind of gym leaders would the Ashen Wolves be ?

I’ve created a sort of Fódlan Pokémon world. Using the logic that whilst all the gyms are separate, the Ashen Wolves, Blue Lions, Black Eagles, and Golden Deer all have their separate areas of the world where their gyms exist. So the Ashen Wolves have a forest!

Pokémon: Three Houses

Yuri

Yuri is the Flying gym leader. He wears a black choker, a purple t-shirt, a knee length, hooded black cardigan, grey tight jeans, and chunky purple, white, and grey trainers. He wears a few bracelets, and a long necklace with a silver pendant of a feather that hangs just below his chest. He is a charming, self assured gym leader who is extremely protective of his forest. His gym is a series of tree houses built high into the canopy of branches. If you know just where to look you can see the intricate buildings and bridges, but the heavy, dense trees make seeing anything extremely difficult.

Soon after the forest is in sight, before you have even reached Constance’s clearing, a Murkrow leading a group of flying type Pokémon circle around you strangely. Soon after this Yuri appears with his intimidating Honchkrow to give you a warning about what happens to those who harm the Ashen Wolves. He says that those who do not have good intentions towards his pack will be dealt with. After you have defeated your first Ashen Wolves Gym Leader he appears after the battle. He commends you on your talent as well as your fair nature. He says he will keep an eye on you, and he continuously reappears after you battle each Gym Leader ensuring that you do not wish any of them harm. Yuri will always be the final of the Ashen Wolves Gym Leaders you face, as you can’t reach his Gym without his help.

Balthus

Balthus is the Steel type gym leader. He is often shirtless, and dresses in an open long black coat with silver chains clipped onto the sides. He wears ripped jeans and black combat boots. His companion is a Corviknight. He can be tricky to find, as he is rarely actually in his gym. He is often found milling around restaurants, playing games of cards, and partaking in other illicit activities. However, when you do find him he is usually more than happy to battle you wherever he meets you. He has a loud, obnoxious persona which he uses to disguise his intelligence and observation skills.

This gym is surrounded by a small town, this acts as the meeting place for the Ashen Wolves as it is at the centre of the woods. Balthus is the only one to permanently reside there. Coincidently it is also the only place in Fódlan where gambling is legal. On your way to finding Balthus you find an injured Aron who is missing a leg. You take him to the gym leader in hopes he can help at the advice of the Nurse at the Pokémon centre. After the battle and you have earned Balthus’s badge, he takes this Pokémon in to help him heal and have a prosthetic built for him. Aron can he seen with his new leg later as Balthus’s secondary companion.

Constance

Constance is the leader of the Poison type gym. She wears a purple and navy dress covered in frills and bows similar to her original design, but she has a lab coat over it which has a series of burns and colourful stains over the front and arms. She wears black rubber boots with a purple buckle to protect her feet from chemicals and poisons. This gym can be found on the outskirts of the forest in a huge, grand building that rises above the tallest trees. There are several warnings from Pokémon trainers as you approach of the strange noises and random explosions that occur in the building. When you enter you discover this is because Constance is constantly experimenting, creating new concoctions and devices to “improve” lives for humans and Pokémon alike.

When she is found inside of her gym, or outside at night, she is a loud, obnoxious, overbearing but generally well meaning leader. In these circumstances she is seen with her companion Salazzle. It is only then that she will partake in Pokémon battles and accept challenges. She is the only one of the Ashen Wolves to have a completely indoor combat area. On the rare occasions she is found outside she is generally pessimistic, sullen, and reluctant to engage with trainers she meets. In these circumstances she can be found with her companion Trubbish.

Hapi

Using headcanon that Hapi is a nonbinary person who uses it/its pronouns.

Hapi is the leader of the Dark type gym. It is a very optimistic and relaxed gym leader, something which contrasts strangely with the Pokémon it chooses to collect. It keeps it’s hair down over it’s shoulders but wears an olive green cropped hoodie over a black vest. It wears an olive green skirt over black leggings and olive green combat boots. Their gym is in the depths of the forest, it is almost entirely outside due to the fact that Hapi likes to plan it’s day based on the sun but is so deep into the forest that the light is almost completely hidden to those not used to the environment. To get to the gym leader, you have to follow what is essentially a maze of trees, which is the test to get to the main battle.

It is unique compared to other gym leaders and even other trainers. It doesn’t bother using pokéballs due to the fact that it can summon certain Pokémon by sighing. The species particularly prone to running to Hapi’s side are dark types and Pokémon that resemble anything monstrous or carnivorous. It has learned to master sighing in specific ways to tempt certain Pokémon, allowing them to roam free around the gym. Another thing that makes it particularly special is that it has two companion Pokémon, a Lycanroc (midnight form) and a Poochyena. It’s Lycanroc is the final Pokémon you face, and it’s Poochyena is the penultimate. The reason it has two is because of it’s sigh summoning dark type Pokémon makes keeping only one as a companion impractical.

#fe3h #envi writes #Pokémon au #yuri leclerc #balthus von albrecht #constance von nuvelle #Hapi fire emblem #Pokémon three houses

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rebrandedstoryline · 9 months

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Rebranded - 15.3 - Help Arrives

Once again, I warn that these next few segments discuss some pretty heavy stuff.

Thankfully, Ayala accepted the peanut butter milk mixture without much of a fuss.

Really, the only issue was in getting her to stay in bed. Given her disoriented state, they couldn’t force her to lay down and drink. It would have been a choking hazard had they tried. So they had to let her up.

Of course, she attempted to get out of bed as soon as Moon gave her the chance to sit up. There followed a short, half-hearted scuffle as the animatronics attempted to find a way to keep her in bed without harming her. She didn’t make it easy. Her squirming and incomprehensible protests made her difficult to work with. But they eventually figured out how to reclaim control over the situation. It just took a bit of awkward squirming.

By the end of this scuffle, Moon had curled up on the bed with one of his arms wrapped around her.

Under better circumstances, it might have been cute. His overall posture was similar to a child cuddling with a stuffed animal. But the uneasy tension of the situation made the scenario anything but cute.

Moon was still not comfortable with physical contact with people. The entire reason that he had stepped out of his comfort zone was because Ayala genuinely needed his help. Before the rebuilt Pizza Plex had been abandoned, he would never have turned away if there was someone in need of immediate care. His desire to care for small, frail things was not gone, it was just repressed by more immediate concerns. Concerns that were now being pushed aside in favor of tending to this helpless, delirious woman.

Thanks to his larger, animatronic body, the woman could make no valid attempts at escaping the confines of her bed.

Once that problem was dealt with, getting her to consume her drink was surprisingly easy. On some level, she must have been aware of the situation she was in.

She drank the beverage slowly.

Her nausea did not subside as she drank, which was disheartening. Whatever it was that had triggered this extreme emotional response, her body was not responding well to it.

This was all a downward spiral of self-destructive behavior brought on by some sort of trauma. That much they could recognize. They were just lost on how to be of help.

So they did what they could. Sun encouraged Ayala to drink the milk he had given her. Moon remained mostly curled up on the bed, using his body as a means of assuring she could try to get up.

The three of them remained like that until they detected Logan’s approach. At which point, Sun made his way downstairs to let the man in.

However, he soon made an interesting discovery.

Logan already had a key to the house. This was revealed when he had started to let himself in before Sun could even reach the bottom step. By the time he had made it to the kitchen counter, the man had already let himself in. Rather assertively, at that.

Logan effectively stormed into the building, slamming the door behind him as he did so. The animatronic’s sensors did not need to verify how the man was feeling. The expression on his face made it perfectly clear that he was upset.

Still, Sun detected everything. Symptoms of heightened anger, fear, and panic were established all at once.

This proved rather concerning. The only help that the bots could think to contact also seemed to be on the brink of a mental breakdown. The one comfort that his presence brought was that he appeared to have come prepared. This was noted by the bag of supplies he held in one hand.

“She upstairs?” Logan inquired, getting straight to the subject of the matter. The daytime attendant offered an affirmative not, shifting to motion for the other to head upstairs.

“Moon is keeping her in bed. I’ve managed to get her to drink some peanut butter and milk.” Sun replied, giving the man a brief update on the situation.

Logan gave him a somewhat peculiar look in response. The concept of peanut butter milk must have confused him. But if he had any questions, he clearly opted not to voice them. Instead, he started for the stairs.

The two made their way up to Ayala’s room. She was now idly swirling the remains of her beverage about in her cup, clearly in a bit of a daze.

Logan made his way over to her. He sat on the edge of the bed, putting the bag down in front of him. After taking a moment to rummage through it, he pulled some sort of medication out.

Moon was instinctively suspicious of the unknown drug. That suspicion became obvious almost as soon as he saw it.

“What is that?” Moon inquired, eyeing the unfamiliar medicine with a cautious gaze.

Logan opted to ignore the animatronic. His focus was on getting the pills out of their packaging. He tore two of them free of their protective seals, before holding them out to Ayala.

Only then did she appear to take notice of his presence.

“... Logan?” Ayala muttered, her voice a very quiet whisper as she turned ever so slightly to look at him. Her unfocused gaze settled on his face. While she knew he was there, she seemed to be struggling to recognize him.

Which was normal, given how long she had gone without sleep. Going that long without rest came with a whole concoction of negative mental repercussions. Her short term memory would absolutely suffer pertaining to this event.

The man responded by gently shaking the pills that he held in his hand.

Moon, not appreciating the fact that he had been ignored, and not trusting these unknown drugs, reached out to assertively push the man’s hand down.

“What are these for?” Moon inquired, his voice now rather stern. He was following care protocols in order to assure Ayala was kept safe.

In her disoriented state, she was incredibly vulnerable. While he knew that this man was her friend and that they were there to help her, that did not mean that he would easily trust unknown medications. Until he knew the purpose of these pills, he would not authorize their use.

“They’re prescription sleep aids, for her.” Logan responded, an equally stern and bitter tone in his voice as he responded to Moon’s inquiry. He obviously wasn’t thrilled about having his help efforts impeded by a security bot. “We keep them at my house, in a safe, to prevent incidents. Now kindly fuck off and let me handle this.” He added, earning a quiet growl from the nighttime attendant in response.

Sun could only stand on the sidelines and anxiously fidget. He did not want for them to be butting heads. There were more important matters to attend to.

Thankfully, Moon appeared to be satisfied with this response For the time being, at least. He withdrew his hand, allowing Logan to resume what they were doing.

“Ayala. Hey! Focus. Look at me. Focus!” Logan began trying to get the woman’s attention. He spoke using short, stern statements as he addressed her. With his free hand, he snapped his fingers to draw her attention to him with the additional movement and sound. As he did so, he brought the pills back up to hold them in her line of sight.

At first, Ayala seemed to struggle to process what he was saying. Then, rather abruptly, she seemed to have a moment of clarity.

The stress that she had been struggling to keep repressed suddenly bubbled over. Tears that she had previously succeeded in keeping at bay began to spill from her eyes. The sudden spike in her emotional response was quite jarring to the animatronics.

Moon flinched, having been caught off guard by her abrupt mental snap. She tried to speak through her sudden onslaught of tears, but the words couldn’t come out.

Logan responded by bringing the pills to her lips.

She did not fight him as he pushed the tablets into her mouth, though she lightly gagged at their taste. The last of the peanut butter milk mixture was used to help her wash down the foul tasting medicine.

At which point the next struggle became trying to get her to let go of the glass.

When the dam finally broke, she began to squeeze the glass with as much force as her little hands could muster. Unfortunately, that was enough force to actually crack the glass. So it was a bit of a tense race against the clock to get her to let go of her cup before she hurt herself.

Logan, again, established how prepared he was to handle this situation. He reached back into the bag to pull out a small, plush rabbit.

The difficult part was getting Ayala to loosen her grip enough to allow him to slip the stuffed animal into her fingers. He had to coax her into relaxing her grip on the cracked cup. Bit by bit. Until he succeeded in making the exchange.

He set the glass aside on the nearby nightstand, at which point there followed a long period of uneasy silence. Not that silence was the best description. Neither the animatronics or Logan made any attempts to speak as Ayala sat there crying.

For as many tears as there were to shed, she was surprisingly quiet. The only noises that came from her being abrupt hiccups and quiet groans. It was obvious when the effects of the medicine began to set in, as was noted by how her body began to sort of sway in place. Even now, despite her exhaustion and the drugs in her system, she was still fighting the need for rest.

She was genuinely terrified of the nightmares that would be there to greet her when she slept. But thanks to the medicine, rest became inevitable.

She swayed for a while, not wanting to let her body succumb to the embrace of sleep.

Moon, sensing that she would be unable to actually put up a valid fight, moved away. Without his body there to support her, she inevitably fell onto the mattress, though he still made sure to support her along the way. He used his hand to support her head, assuring that she could properly lay down to rest.

Logan physically made her close her eyes, careful not to accidentally harm her in the process. Sleep overtook her quickly at that point, leaving Logan and the animatronics to tend to whatever needed to happen next.

#rebranded au #rebranded #rebranded storyline #moondrop #sundrop #fnaf au #fnaf #daycare attendant #fnaf:sb #moon #sun #Ayala #Logan

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conewar · 1 year

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Obi Wan wasn't sure what to expect, sitting with the children in the waiting area.

Despite having been a member of the council himself, he struggled to imagine exactly how they would have dealt with a situation like this. Presumably he was a security risk. Ahsoka had said that his presence in the force wasn't quite the same as it had been- muted, barely visible, as if behind a fog- but still, she had recognized him. But then, his appearance now, with the obi wan kenobi of this time presumably still out there, perhaps even in this building, was far more extraordinary.

Luke was fidgeting, but Leia was very still. Both were quiet. Luke's earlier burst of excitement had faded back into wariness as it occurred to him that they may not, in fact, be entirely safe after all. This was not something Obi Wan had told him, nor was it something he believed, but Luke was picking up on a tension regardless.

'They aren't going to eat us, you know,' he nudged him gently. Leia gave him a skeptical, annoyed, look, but then, she had not relaxed the entire time she had been with them.

'But they might take you away' Luke uttered with his lips pressed together, his upset tucking itself deeper away.

Obi Wan sighed. They were both of them astute. Of course they had honed in on the one thing that truly could happen to them all. He wasn't sure, really, despite everything, what to say. How to explain that a separation might not even be such a terrible thing, despite how it filled him with a wrenching fear and pain. Because it filled him with a wrenching fear and pain. Luke was attached to him, he knew that well enough. He could council him otherwise, but the circumstances of their lives, and Luke's youth, made it difficult for him to understand. He was so similar to Anakin like that. History repeating itself, he thought dully, and felt the weight of it all. Some distance, in truth, was likely something they both needed, but neither of them were ready.

'I grew up in the creche, here.' He told them softly. 'I miss it sometimes.'

He rose in order to face them both, and knelt, clasping small hands in his.

'It's true that there will be many questions about me, and where I came from, and that I might be busy for a while, but that doesn't mean anything bad will happen- to any of us. I can promise you that the people here... will not harm us. Whatever happens, I want you to remember what I've taught you, Luke, and both of you... that you must always be kind.'

There was something intense in the furrow of Leia's brow. 'That's what my dad says'

Obi Wan smiled. 'Yes. I told you Bail was my friend, Leia. I remember his words. I cherish them. And you would do well to remember what he taught you too, because he was kind, and wise, and the best of us.'

He felt the crack in her spirit widen, mirrored in his own.

#obi wan and luke #obi wan and leia #obi wan kenobi #sw fic #leia organa #luke skywalker #time travel #fic fragment

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fyeah-bangtan7 · 2 years

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j-hope: “I’m going to look for the way that’s right for me”

On BTS’ j-hope, j-hope’s BTS, and j-hope himself.

You just released Proof, a collection of different songs that capture the essence of BTS. How are you feeling? J-hope: It did need to be organized at some point, didn’t it? By taking a look back on our timeline, we thought it was the right time to show people who recently became ARMY how we got to where we are today and show all the topics we’ve dealt with all in one place. And we think that it will also be an album that stirs up deep emotions for ARMY who have been with us from the beginning. Our timeline is basically ARMY’s timeline. We made this an album for ARMY who have taken this journey with us, one they would likely cherish, so we had a lot of fun revisiting old memories while making it.

The song “Run BTS” is itself a look back at the path BTS has taken. You give a shout-out to the other members, saying that they have all been through a lot. (laughs) J-hope: They really did go through a lot. That’s a fact. (laughs) We all went through a lot and worked hard. So I compressed all those things into one word—gosaeng—to express it, and I put an “s” at the end to make gosaengs. We’ve conveyed many different messages with each of our albums, from “what’s your dream” in the “school trilogy” to now. But then I wondered, have I ever really conveyed a message to the other members? So, when we were working on the album, I told them I wanted to include something where I could speak my mind to the others. What came out of that process was “Run BTS,” and I wanted to give a shout-out in it to the other members.

Shouldn’t you also get a shout-out? Saying you went through a lot, too? (laughs) J-hope: I have been through a lot, but I think I might be the one who gets the most enjoyment out of what BTS does. Because, through BTS, I can experience things that I would have questioned whether or not I could accomplish alone. We’ve done so many different kinds of performances on stage and tried and experimented with many things, too. So I’ve been taking a meaningful look back at all those times in the past. Everything, from learning, to mastering what I learned, to experiencing different cultures abroad, has been so fun.

The performance at the Grammy Awards must have been a new experience and experiment for you as well. J-hope: It was an absolute whirlwind. After testing positive for COVID-19, it was only going to be possible to have exactly one day before the performance. I think making it to the Grammy Awards stage under those circumstances is what put me in the mindset I had for the performance. The other members were on the brink of mental exhaustion at that point, to be honest. Jin had injured his hand and practicing was a challenge, but I knew there was no way I couldn’t be there, so while practicing I kept telling myself I have to do this no matter what, went over on the plane, rehearsed on location, and somehow got it all together.

It was also a very technically difficult performance, wasn’t it? Even when you pulled off your jackets and tied them together, you only had one shot. J-hope: It was a lot of pressure, psychologically speaking, as we were now at the Grammys and doing a performance similar to one we did shortly after we debuted. The idea behind the performance was for us to say, Let’s do this for them again. We can pull that kind of performance off at the Grammys—we’re BTS!

In a way, you traded the hat exchange you did in your first music show performance of “No More Dream” for throwing the card around at the Grammy Awards. J-hope:That’s right. My heart was absolutely racing. I was disappointed in myself about the performance at the Grammys, to be honest. I wanted to put on a good show so badly that I couldn’t tolerate even the slightest letdown. So afterwards I thought, Oh, I really could have done better—I could have made it look cooler. That was a letdown.

But the other members talked about how much respect they had for you for the way you led practice. The nickname Team Leader Jeong would seem to show just how important you are within BTS. J-hope:They’re just calling me that. (laughs) We were able to pull off a performance like this because of how well everyone did. That part’s extremely important. I learned a lot from being part of a team. I also wouldn’t settle for anything once I started working on songs for the group. Now when I work, I’m always discovering new ways to express myself and I think maybe it would be fun if I tried working it all out on my own someday. That’s how I can improve.

Speaking of improving, the way you change over the course of Proof is impressive. Your rap style has changed a lot. And you don’t usually use autotune, but you do on “Yet To Come.” J-hope: I’m always picking up new techniques, and anytime I get a BTS song, I have an instinct about how I should go about it. There’s no particular reason change happens; I think everything I’ve ever learned and all the energy I’ve absorbed just instinctively comes out in the moment.

It was also new to hear you having such a long flow in “For Youth.” You take on a new style in each song with ease. J-hope: “For Youth” was another chance for me to try something original. I thought of writing melodic rap and not concerning myself too much with the beat and wanted to show a somewhat more mature side of me. I’m constantly changing, musically maturing and the number of things I can express has increased. I think those things are how I express myself—by using things I learned throughout my life and during my time with BTS. While I was working on Proof, I could instinctively sense things like, This might not be interesting the way it’s going. It’s all because I’ve been with the group for a long time. That’s how I know what I need to do when it comes to music and performing. So I use autotune where needed or sometimes go with a different flow.

Has being in the group had any effect on your everyday life? You posted some fantastic pictures on Instagram. You took a collection of instant film photos and published them all together like a kind of exhibition. J-hope:I think that was thanks to everything else I saw and what I learned from it. I think it’s become a habit to try and constantly show off everything I’ve learned. So I tried many different ways to see which would be interesting. I hope people found it interesting. (laughs).

If someone goes to your account, they can see all the instant photos you took in one glance, and if they look at each of them separately, they can see other related photos as well. For example, you posted a picture of just your clothes, followed by you wearing those clothes and living your normal, everyday life. It seemed to me like you were trying to express yourself visually. J-hope: You’re right. Instant photos are one of the few means of keeping a record where only you get to hold onto the originals. Even though I was going to be sharing my everyday life through Instagram, I thought it would be nice to have a film copy that would belong to me and me alone, so I chose instant photos. So I posted them, but thought there’s a limit to what I can convey through analog alone, so now I’m covering my Instagram with photos that are more suitable for the modern era. I wanted to show casual photos I took of myself before in many cases, but now I want to show who I am as an artist, too. I want to use Instagram to show who I am as an artist and use Weverse to say the more honest and open things I want to say to fans. So maybe that’s the reason why my image on Instagram seems so different than before.

Does that interest extend to videos? Because you’re always filming and editing. J-hope: One thing I’m really thankful for whenever they’re filming our group’s documentaries is, I think you could say, I’m living through the most beautiful moment in life right now. And I’m so grateful they’re keeping a record of that. They record what my life, my everyday, and my emotions while performing on stage are like. That’s the reason I place so much importance on record-keeping. And so I take a lot of photos and videos with my phone, but then my phone’s photo album becomes so chaotic. So I got around to editing to reduce the clutter. I usually make each file two or three minutes long.

Do you rewatch the videos you’ve taken sometimes? J-hope: Yes. I watch them so, so much. (laughs) It’s so fun. Records like that remind me how I was feeling at the time I made them. I can remember what emotion I felt while taking a video or picture of some scenery or certain people—every single one. Like I’m reliving those feelings when I see what I was thinking in 2017 whenever I revisit them. I think there’s a limit to how much people can capture and store in their memories. I mean, you can’t remember everything, and you forget some things, too. But when I watch videos from back then, it’s like I’m smoothing out those wrinkled old memories and feelings. And I really love that.

What are those relived memories like? J-hope: They’re beautiful. (laughs) I was younger and more full of vigor. It’s not that I’m not like that now—I just think there were definitely things I could only feel back then. One thing with Proof is it shows how I was working back then, the kind of music and performances I was doing and everything I achieved. Something that makes me say, I can remember those days, means so much to me.

There’s a demo version of “DNA” on Proof. That, too, shares a piece of history. How was it made? J-hope: We were originally going to include a rough version of “Boy Meets Evil,” but listening to it now, I think, Wouldn’t it just be better to listen to the final recording? The rough version doesn’t really contain any of the charm you usually associate with the word “rough.” So instead, I went looking for something that would make ARMY think, You made this? And that’s when I found “DNA.” I listened to it, like, What is this? And then, Wow! (laughs) I was reminded of my process of working on the song.

What was your process like? J-hope: The way we work, we take anything good any of us has worked on independently and use that, so first I tried making a whole song by myself. I tried working on “DNA” in a style I was capable of but I didn’t like the way it turned out, so I just kept it away in my hard drive for a while. Then I ended up coming across it again later on, and it’s definitely my unique sound, so I thought it really shows the raw originality. I thought it would be fun for ARMY to hear that there was a version of “DNA” like this before it was released.

A lot has changed between the days of the j-hope who made that version of “DNA” and the j-hope we have now. In what ways have you changed, exactly? J-hope: A recent example would be the way all my time abroad has influenced me. You couldn’t pay to have the experiences I’m having now. We put on huge performances, meet all kinds of different artists, and learn about the culture.

You mentioned one of Lady Gaga’s performances on V LIVE before. How did her performance make you feel? J-hope: I was so inspired by the performances in Las Vegas that I regretted not looking up more artists’ concerts while on our own tour before. Lady Gaga’s concert was particularly impressive. I’ve been a huge fan of Lady Gaga since I was young and I thought she was the best when it came to putting on a show. I was so inspired by how clearly dedicated she is to her performance. And Las Vegas is a show city, so I kept feeling like, I didn’t know this was even possible, while watching all the shows, and thought I’d like to try them with my own interpretation someday.

Don’t you ever feel burdened by some of the things you experience because you’re in BTS? I felt like giving speeches at the UN and performing there would be a great honor but potentially overwhelming at the same time. J-hope: It was such an honor just being able to stand up there, but I’m honestly just an extremely ordinary person. I had a typical upbringing as a native of Gwangju so some things aren’t easy to embrace or get used to. Some things are too big for me and I end up with too much on my plate, but I think I’m able to embrace it eventually because it’s divided seven different ways. And I look at some of this as fate as well.

That makes me think of the way you talk back and forth with the other members on Instagram and tap “like” a lot. Is that a reflection of how much you all need each other? J-hope:Oh, that. That’s because one of them always just happens to have posted something right before I open Instagram. (laughs) It’s amazing how that works. I’ll open Instagram and someone will have posted exactly three minutes earlier. When I see that, I tap the little heart. (laughs) I have a lot of fun doing that. I think checking out their daily lives there helps me find out things I didn’t already know about how they feel about their own lives.

You have been heavily influenced as a member of BTS while progressively changing as an individual artist. What would you like to express with your music or dancing these days? J-hope: As you know, I often present myself with a sunny demeanor. So I have a strong desire to display a different side of me. I personally challenged myself to do that in my current projects. I wanted to show an extremely dark, raw side.

And why is that? J-hope: In my time working and living, I figured out the stories I can tell are extremely limited when I only use my natural style or how people see me. I have things I want to say, but I kept feeling like, if I did them in the same style I always have, they wouldn’t come across well. If I was going to convey the things I wanted to say, I would have to be darker. It’s something I’ve never done before, so I was excited to try something new. I was heavily influenced by what my heart was telling me, and that’s why I decided to give it a try.

When it comes to BTS’ music, you decide what you need to do based on how things are flowing overall, whereas it seems like you call the shots in your solo work. J-hope: When I look back now, I used the mixtape I released to show what I’m all about as j-hope, the member of BTS. I wanted to use the mixtape to paint a wider picture of the style I bring to the table within BTS. “Chicken Noodle Soup” showed that I could make something in that way, and now I’ve decided to show the kind of new musical direction and thoughts I have and how I can convey them in a new way. I think now I’m definitely continuing to craft the style I have within BTS as well as my own style I can show individually. I almost feel embarrassed calling myself an artist (laughs) but I think I’ve become the kind of artist who’s capable of that.

What is it you want to talk about, as a person and as an artist capable of all that? J-hope: My own self. I wanted to look back on things, like how I’ve lived and the kind of emotional shadow my hidden side casts. You’ll understand when these songs come out later, but if I was going to discuss these things, I couldn’t always be light about it. That’s why I edged a little closer to a darker place, which I think allowed me to open up about my life story completely.

How far along in your life story do you think you’ve come now? J-hope: I realized these days that I can’t always be a salmon, fighting against the current. (laughs).

What do you mean? J-hope: I think a lot about how I should live my life just going with the flow. I make an effort to have a happy life according to what I’ve been given. To be honest, I tried to change a lot of things in 2020 and 2021—the many different things that happened, stemming from the pandemic. But the thing is, when I realized I couldn’t change all those things just by thinking about them, I thought about living according to what has already been given to me. Because I’m going to look for the way that’s right for me anyway. That doesn’t mean I’m going to stop. (laughs).

#bangtan #jhope #m:weverse magazine #t:interview #220613

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f1 · 2 years

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W Series cancels final races of 2022 and declares Chadwick champion | W Series

W Series has confirmed it will not hold the final three races of its 2022 season and confirmed points leader Jamie Chadwick as champion. The series’ CEO Catherine Bond Muir said next week’s race in Austin and the planned double-header season finale in Mexico City, both supporting Formula 1 events, will not take place due to financial concerns. However she remains “extremely confident” that W Series will return for a fourth season in 2023. Chadwick, who comfortably led the W Series drivers’ standings following its last race weekend in Singapore, has secured her third successive championship, remaining the only driver to have been crowned champion in three seasons of the all-women single seater series. “Under our regulations, to have a completed championship, we need six races,” Bond Muir explained. “We’ve had seven races. So, yes, Jamie is now the de facto champion.” W Series’ financial concerns came to light prior to the most recent round in Singapore. Bond Muir had been hopeful of receiving financial support from backers that would allow the championship to conclude as planned in North America. She said talks are ongoing with potential backers, but they had to make the call last week to cancel the final rounds as the deadline for transporting equipment to North America loomed. “I’ve said that we were speaking to a number of people and we have continued those discussions,” she said. “We’ve had offers from a number of people, but the problem is getting money in doesn’t happen at the shake of a ‘money tree’. People have got to go through due diligence. “So we believed up until this weekend there was a possibility for us to get to Austin and we’ve just had to call it because obviously there are deadlines on payments to things that need to be done. So we could have kept it on for a couple of weeks, but we just had to make a pragmatic today.” Advert | Become a RaceFans supporter and go ad-free Bond Muir says she is sure that the championship will continue to run into a fourth season in 2023 and wants to return to race in North America. W Series’ third season concluded in Singapore “I am extremely confident that W Series will be here next year,” she said. “We’re racing next year. We’re definitely racing next year and hopefully in the United States.” Bond Muir informed the W Series drivers about the cancellation of the final rounds in an online meeting held this afternoon. “It was incredibly similar to the conversation that I had with them about cancelling 2020 because of Covid,” she said. “They are drivers. In their blood, all they want to do is race and they were incredibly upset. At the same time as them being upset, they were understanding. “But really the feeling that came out of it was ‘this is rubbish but, Catherine, this is what we’ve dealt with for 20 years. We’ve had promises of money, we’ve had contractual commitments for money and they haven’t come through’. “As far as we’re concerned at the moment, we want to keep the DNA of W Series going and it is our intention to still be providing all of the expenses for the drivers.” However Bond Muir admitted she could not be “100 percent” sure the series will be able to award Chadwick and her fellow drivers their prize money for their championship standings. “Where I sit at the moment, it is my expectation that will be paid out,” she said. “I can’t say 100% until the money, plus everything else in the working capital for the business going forward [is arranged]. But where I stand at the moment, I don’t see any reason why that won’t be the case.” With Chadwick declared champion earlier than planned, Bond Muir drew parallels with Max Verstappen being declared Formula 1 world champion in confusing circumstances during yesterday’s Japanese Grand Prix. “Obviously I am just tagging along on F1 ‘s coattails about this strange and unexpected finishes to championships,” she joked. Advert | Become a RaceFans supporter and go ad-free W Series Browse all W Series articles via RaceFans - Independent Motorsport Coverage https://www.racefans.net

#F1 #W Series cancels final races of 2022 and declares Chadwick champion | W Series #Formula 1

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vacantgodling · 1 year

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OC ask for you!! Who is your favorite OC and why? Also, are there any OCs that you feel you (intentionally or unintentionally) based on yourself in any way?

hi! thank you so much for the ask :) SORRY it’s a wee bit long haha,,,

i actually have a lot of different wips that i mentally rotate through, so, in no particular order here’s a list of some of my favorite ocs, why & what wips they come from:

hyacinthus shrapnel — paramour

there’s a lot of reasons why i love hya and tbh i could be here all day ranting about him however i will shorten it to simply he ticks all of my boxes for a blorbo lol. i love his shitty attitude and his inability to talk about his feelings and how unapologetic he is. he’s just chefs kiss perfect shite dude.

amon — paramour

coming as no surprise here, hya’s counterpart. amon also ticks blorbo boxes but also i love how he and hya balance each other out so well. and i also really enjoy how he’s more than meets the eye; he’s a very multifaceted dude and i like how he is so acutely aware of how other people perceive him and uses it to his advantage. also, i love that even tho he seems more polite and put together he is constantly brimming with rage :)

clear brightendale — the chronicles of lathsbury (tcol)

haven’t actually talked about this wip much on this new iteration of my blog however for the uninitiated tcol is my giant ass fantasy from the ground up wip. i’m talking magic, mythology, etc etc. i’ve had this wip for quite some time. clear is one of the mcs of the main story and tbh i’m just. obsessed with him not even joking that’s my beloved boy. similarly to amon i enjoy how multifaceted he is. how he’s both a ruthless killing machine but an anxiety ridden sweetheart at the same time. i love how hard he tries even tho it’s not an easy path like he’s so hard working and he fights for what he wants and that’s just a rare thing tbh. he literally goes against his entire upbringing because he WANTS to do good and i love that for him.

lath — tcol historical

INSANE about lath actually. i say “historical” because technically a lot of his story takes place hundreds of years before the events of actual tcol but he does show up in the main story bc he’s a guardian tm :) i can’t properly express how much i love this dude. again, super blorbo material. i love how he’s fierce and unyielding and just kinda a weird guardian angel bird dude that will fight anybody. his relationship with his best friend/sword ensio also means an INSANE amount to me and tbh it’s a wonder i don’t froth at the mouth about it on a daily basis. honestly talking about tcol has brought it back into my headspace so xD that’s kind of how wips work for me.

darren de leon — vampires don’t take road trips

our mc! favorite boy! i love darren bc he’s just such a mood tbh. tired, no aspirations, just coasting through life. main goals is to be around people he loves and chill. i also admire his emotional maturity and how fiercely he loves his family and friends :’)

nyseah nicoletti — NAD (*placeholder title*)

my favorite she her 🥲 her tired not here for the bullshit vibes are immaculate but i love how she’s also so so caring and loving despite the bs she has and is currently going through. true mom friend energy. she’s also a badass and i love her resilience :)

i do have a lot more favorites than these but these ones especially tend to be at the top of my brain!

as to characters i’ve made like myself i have a few? generally speaking i would say that all my characters contain some pieces of me and the things i feel or value or do. but ones that are deadass like me in some way would be:

jake & calvin (purple haze) but this is 100% on purpose. purple haze in general is a wip that’s whole purpose is to help me work through the bs of first being a young adult and the specific circumstances i dealt with at that time. so not only are they like me they share similarities to my situation too. it’s only fair since they’re my oldest ocs :)

darren de leon (vdtrt) but mostly unintentional lol. i’m just pretty laid back and lowkey aspirationless like he is.

jenna magboo (the liminal space series) is somewhat purposeful but in a… different way? i’m autistic & was raised a girl so tbh jenna has a lot of mannerisms and likeness to myself when i was younger. jenna isn’t the same age as younger me or anything, but it’s almost like an alternate reality “if i kept going down this particular path i’d probably be like her”. so, as such bc she’s based off of me (but younger but older?) she and i have some similarities but we’re definitely very different.

#about renjamin

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muertocountyprincess · 1 month

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Trust Issues

These two things tend to go hand in hand, especially given the circumstances right now. Throughout my life so far, I’ve had a lot of people who I thought were genuine and supported me, turn out to have quiet vendettas.

I wish this was an exaggeration, but this shit has happened time and time again for nearly the past ten years.

And honestly? I’m beyond tired of it.

Tired of giving love and support to people who turn out to be like the rest, intimidated by my ability to create and the confidence I hold. Insecurity is one hell of a drug. The worst part? It’s a them issue yet it becomes a problem of my own.

I’ve had a childhood friend of 15+ years betray me and leave me traumatized, only to find out later on why they allowed it to happen. I’ve had peers shun me from the circle simply just for being the only one to win an award. A past roommate sabotage me because we were in the same major and didn’t like seeing me receive praise. Another friend say that I deserved to be unhappy over a miscommunication. Classmates blatantly stealing my work and trying to replicate it (in a shoddy attempt) because they liked what they saw but wanted to take credit for it.

This is just a few of the things that first come to mind, there are more though.

But throughout all of these situations, I’ve still remained a supporter.

I hold no envy - I want to see others thrive, too. Build them up. We’re all just trying to discover our purpose in this rough world, and tearing each other down does nothing but destroy.

All I’ve ever done is focus on my own work and myself, that is the key to success. At least from my experience.

Many people can’t seem to understand that, so their insecurity often results in making it become someone else’s issue.

This is why I have trust issues. Every time I let someone in and open up to them, allow them to hear my thoughts and see my potential, I get hurt again.

It’s so hard knowing the power you hold, only for people to use it against you. I’m a self-saboteur at heart, but with time I’ve learned to realize my abilities and skills and give myself credit where it’s due.

But in this world, confidence = arrogance and lack of confidence is the norm.

When I finally found (and created) a space for myself to thrive with a community of similar interests, I’ve never felt this supported. Seeing people enjoy the stuff I post whether it’s my discussion videos or my shitposts, makes my heart feel warm inside. Finally, a sense of belonging with people who seem genuine where we can mutually support each other.

And now? This entire situation has had me feeling stripped of that again, something I’ve worked so hard to build back up. Having my mental health ridiculed when I’ve done nothing but advocate for it, being belittled. My safe space is no longer there.

Yes, I have dealt with mental health related issues my entire life, many of us have. But having that thrown out there in a negative light makes me feel… disturbed.

I honestly don’t know how to react, and am still processing all of this. Right now I just feel a flood of past memories that I don’t want to think about.

#trust issues #vent

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linnfoster · 8 months

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Starcrossed, Starfalling

Sometimes two souls are fated to find each other, to fall together-- be it in love, or from grace.

The tale of Sabal Saberkainen, a Drow bard who left the Underdark in search of a better life, and the people they meet across their grand journey, including a vampire with a nice simple plan that doesn’t stay so simple.

(A mix of the canon story and my own material.)

Also available to read on AO3.

Chapter One: Star-Kissed, the Moon in Their Eyes

Sabal's history, the important things that happened to them before the grand adventure fate would take them on.

Sabal was born in— and of— the Underdark, forged like a sword between the hammer of their mother and the anvil of their cold world. Zesbrina had done her best to be kind, to make sure her child understood that the blows she dealt were made with love and a desire to forge them into something strong enough to survive the world she’d birthed them into. But Sabal was not meant to be a sword, and Zesbrina would come to learn that too little too late.

Zesbrina felt lucky, all things considered— at least, at first. She’d borne a child out of wedlock to a man unwilling to leave the wife that had been arranged for him for her, despite loving her, but at least that child was a daughter. She’d have that advantage, Zesbrina thought, even if she came with another, entirely different disadvantage in the process. She’d be able to go far, if the path was properly prepared for her, and the right people could be persuaded to see past her condition. Zesbrina knew her own prospects were slim now, but she could prepare a future for her daughter and, maybe, take back a little piece of prosperity for herself in the process.

So imagine her surprise when that typically obedient, understanding daughter came to her one summer night and told her that they were no daughter at all.

“You would throw away everything I’ve done for you for this— this flight of fancy!” she screamed. She could not understand it, willingly giving up the privilege of their womanhood. She could not comprehend how it was not a choice, how her child hadn’t changed and had always been this way, but without the words to convey it, for Sabal had long thought themself separate from this ‘womanhood.’ Even as they grew into an adult, Sabal had never felt like, what they assumed, a woman would. A woman happy with her body would not look upon the flat chest of a man and feel a deep, clawing envy— would she? Truth be told, Sabal had always been too afraid to ask.

Sabal lived in this state for many, many years, finding peace where they could, doing what they were told. They would’ve gone on to do this their entire life, had it not been for one fateful meeting. A traveler, a bard to be precise, come to the Underdark in search of tales both public and personal. He himself was born under similar circumstances to Sabal, but his mother had been a half-elf, leaving him only half a Drow. She’d taken him away from the place she’d called home for several years by that point, too afraid of what might happen to him should she raise him among his father’s people. Now grown himself, he’d come seeking the father he never knew, the family he’d never met.

It was total chance that brought him onto Sabal’s path— at least, they thought so. Ruvyn, however, did not. He proclaimed it fate, that they were meant to meet and share a piece of their journey with each other. He knew because of how ‘unique’ a person Sabal clears was, sporting patches of white across their midnight skin. “I’ve never seen a Drow with your condition before,” he admitted. “Like you’ve been kissed by stars, the full moon placed into your eye.”

He had something for Sabal, and they for him, if they could just piece together what it was. Ruvyn, apparently in no rush to find his own answers, was willing to spend a few days in their village to find their own. He regaled Sabal with stories of the surface world, of the places he’d been, the people he’d met. The latter was a favorite subject of his, which Sabal suspected was because he was trying to impress them, add them to his list of conquests, likely due to this perceived rarity. It wasn’t his prowess with others that caught Sabal’s attention, however, but one particular story. A human man, Ruvyn’s third conquest in just as many days in the city of Baldur’s Gate. He was beautiful more than handsome, with a voice like honey and a coy smile. His sweet nothings could rival Ruvyn’s, and soon he found himself smitten. The human led Ruvyn to his room, where he turned to him and promised him a night of passion he would always remember, if he could accept just one thing. “And then he lifted his shirt above his head, revealing to me the most meticulous and exquisite scars,” Ruvyn all but whispered. “I asked him, ‘who did this to you?’ And he smiled wider and said, ‘I did it to myself, in a manner of speaking.’”

Sabal’s hand drifted to their own chest, something that had vexed them for many years, ever since they left childhood behind. While they struggled with the concept of womanhood, Sabal was complacent with the body that came with it— mostly. The only fault they found in themself was their chest. While their breasts were modest, they still left the Drow with a feeling of unease, of wrongness. That feeling was the first hint to them that they were not what they had been perceived to be. “Was he hurt?” they asked.

Ruvyn shook his head. “Not at all.” He went on to explain the man’s story as it was told to him in bed after their night together, his voice a whisper like the human’s had been. He told of Arthur, named a daughter at birth just like Sabal, raised in dresses but longing for the high-waisted trousers and leather boots of his brothers. “He knew what he was meant to be, and he chose to make himself into that,” Ruvyn said with a sigh. “Truly admirable, to take one’s design into his own hands.”

Quiet stretched between them as Sabal considered these words, and Ruvyn’s smile went from one of slyness to softness. “Perhaps that is why I met you. To tell you that story.”

Sabal’s gaze drifted back to him. “What do you mean?”

“The way you look now,” Ruvyn replied. “This story, it resonates with you. I see it in your eyes.”

The night became not about conquest then, but wonder. They stayed together into the early hours of the morning, Sabal asking questions and Ruvyn doing his best to answer them. When they finally parted ways, Sabal had much to think about.

It would be another year before thought turned to action. It was not an easy subject, the idea that one’s own identity was actually something completely different, something they’d never been prepared for. It was an entirely different, equally difficult subject, turning your back on something that kept you safe for something that came with a slew of terrifying unknowns, even if it felt right. When Sabal was finally ready— or as ready as they could be under the circumstances— they walked into their mother’s chambers prepared to never seem them again after that night.

It was… unpleasant. No matter how hard they tried, they could not bring Zesbrina to an understanding, too befuddled by her own beliefs and their own lack of experience with theirs. They said goodbye to to their mother that night, as they had been prepared to do, and they set out for somewhere new.

Inspired by their memories of Ruvyn and his story of Arthur, Sabal knew exactly where they wanted to go. They would venture to the surface, carve out a new life among the people who lived in this storied city of Baldur’s Gate. They would see the moon and stars, which Ruvyn had so tenderly compared them to before, and they’d make a new home.

It was hard work, making their way in an unfamiliar world with little to their name, but they’d been made for it, molded to withstand it. They pushed through, taking odd jobs wherever they could to get by, saving whatever didn’t need to be used on necessities. Over time, they made it to Rivington, where they found work fashioning drinks in a tavern. It was a good place to be, a place to gather stories, news, rumors. In time, with sharp enough ears, perhaps they could learn what else they needed to know to pursue a path like Arthur’s.

Not many months into their employment, a familiar face sat at their bar and rested an elbow on the wood, placing his chin in his hand. “My my my, if it isn’t my star-kissed friend.”

Sabal couldn’t help but smile, meeting his gaze. “You remember me?”

“How could I forget someone touched by the moon?” Ruvyn replied.

“I’ve learned the name of the condition,” Sabal said. “The people here call it ‘vitiligo.’ It’s not special.”

“Well not with that attitude.” Ruvyn grinned. “Don’t wish to be special, then?”

Sabal grabbed a clean glass and set it in front of the half-Drow. “It’s not always a gift. What would you like?”

“Whiskey on the rocks with an ale to chase it,” Ruvyn answered. He watched as Sabal prepared his drinks before continuing. “What brings my Underdark friend here, working in a tavern?”

“I’m making my way to Baldur’s Gate,” Sabal said, taking up a freshly cleaned glass to dry it. “I want to… pursue a path similar to your friend.”

“To Arthur?” Ruvyn asked.

Sabal nodded.

Ruvyn’s smile widened and he shifted to take the tumbler of whiskey in his hand, sipping at it. “I might know how to help you with that.”

Sabal raised their brows slightly, tilting their head just enough to notice.

“I met Arthur again, much like this,” Ruvyn explained. “I… live with him now, actually. I was returning to our shared home tonight after my latest adventure.”

“Is he your… lover now?” Sabal asked.

Ruvyn chuckled under his breath. “If he is, would that make you jealous?”

Sabal’s smile was small but amused. “You are my friend, Ruvyn. My friend only.”

Ruvyn sighed through his nose, but his grin widened and he took another sip of his whiskey. “My one regret is that I didn’t get to spend a night in your bed before I took the yoke of love onto my shoulders.”

It was Sabal’s turn to chuckle. “I doubt that is your one regret.”

“All the same,” Ruvyn mused, “I’d be willing to help you. Introduce you to Arthur, at the very least. He can point you in the right direction, introduce you to the right people.”

Sabal considered their old friend for many moments, rolling his offer in their head over and over. “I don’t know if I can afford to go to Baldur’s Gate yet. I’m still trying to save money.”

“You can stay with us,” Ruvyn replied. “Until you find new work and can strike it out on your own.”

“You’re being awfully generous for someone you barely know,” Sabal commented.

“Because I think you’re special, Sabal,” Ruvyn said, his voice growing gentle. “It’s not often one meets someone with the moon in their eyes. Or, is that part of your ‘vitiligo’ as well?”

Sabal was quiet for a moment. True, they had never found a banal reason for why they’d been born with one red eye and one white. It was certainly not seen as something worth venerating when they still lived in the Underdark. The Drow reached up and brushed their golden blond hair over their face, obscuring their white eye.

Ruvyn tsked at their actions, but said nothing as he finished his whiskey and pushed the empty glass across the bar. “So what do you say?”

Sabal remained quiet again, pausing in the drying of another glass. It was tempting, they couldn’t deny that, but risky as well. If they accepted, they would owe Ruvyn— and Arthur— quite a bit. They knew that, with enough tenacity, they could do it all on their own, but it would take time. More time. They would be lying if they said they weren’t tired of waiting. Tired of avoiding their reflection in mirrors, of shifting their gaze from leering eyes belonging to crooked mouths that feel the need to tell them about how much ‘prettier’ they would be if they didn’t wear their shirts so loose.

“Sabal?”

The Drow looked up from their glass, carefully setting it down. “Okay, but I need to settle things here.”

Ruvyn nodded. “I could come back for you, say, in two weeks’ time?”

Sabal nodded. “I think that will work.”

Ruvyn returned the gesture, his casual smile never leaving his face. “It’s a deal then. I think Arthur will be quite happy to meet you.”

They parted ways, and Sabal got to work.

True to his word, Ruvyn returned two weeks later and whisked them away to Baldur’s Gate, into the Lower City, to a modest but clean home, where Arthur was waiting for them. He pulled them into a hug immediately, despite being strangers. “It’s good to finally meet you, Sabal,” he said as he leaned back, hands still on their shoulders. “Ruvyn has been telling me about you. About how I can help you.”

“I must admit, it does strike me as odd that you would,” Sabal said, remaining still and not trying to shrug out of his grip, despite wanting to.

“Why wouldn’t I?” Arthur asked, finally letting go.

“Well, you don’t know me,” Sabal replied. “You gain nothing from helping me.”

“That’s where you’re wrong,” Arthur said, holding up a finger. “I will have helped someone be who they are supposed to be. And, if I may be so bold, I think I will gain a friend in the process. A kindred spirit.”

Sabal ground their teeth faintly as they considered this. They had no reason not to try forging a friendship with Arthur, that was true. They had something in common that Sabal had never found in anyone else. He would understand them. Slowly, a small smile crossed their face. “Thank you.”

“It is my pleasure,” Arthur replied. “Now, let me show you to your room.”

It was many months still before they had the gold to begin the process Arthur had undergone. When it came time for them to meet the good woman who would see to the procedure, Arthur was in attendance as guidance and support. Examinations were done, deals were made, and Sabal returned to their shared home to contemplate their next steps. The woman demanded a hefty price for her services, but Sabal didn’t think twice about paying them. They only needed to get the gold. They counted the days and coins, slowly building up the funds.

In the process, they got to know the two that had extended their generosity to them. Ruvyn, wanting for a partner in performance, began to teach them the ways of music. They took to it well, learning the lute and lyre. Arthur, not gifted in music was they were, took a more practical approach. He taught them to cook meals from all across the Sword Coast, each recipe brought home by Ruvyn. Through these activities they bonded and, somewhat to Sabal’s surprise, did become true good friends.

Finally, years after leaving home, of making one anew, they had enough gold.

The day of the procedure, Arthur offered to come with them, but Sabal refused. They went alone, handed over their life’s savings, and laid themself across the metal slab of the operating table. The woman who would carve their body looked upon their bare form and asked but one question, “How would you like the incisions to look? If you must bear the scars, the least I can do is cater them to your wants.”

Sabal stared at the ceiling, imagining the sky on the other side, a sight they’d come to love. “Like the stars.”

The world went dark as they closed their eyes, the woman’s Command settling over their willing mind. Sleep.

When they awoke, the pain was like nothing they’d felt before. It hurt. They thought they knew pain, that they were prepared for this pain, but to have flesh sliced open, to have the knife slipped under your skin to separate it from the muscle, to be hollowed out…

Sabal gasped as they came to their senses, gritting their teeth and clenching their fists around fabric. What was this? The surface beneath them had changed, a soft bed instead of the cold metal slab. The woman was at their side in moments, looking down on them with a gentle smile. “Welcome back.”

“It hurts,” Sabal wheezed.

The woman nodded. “It will for a few hours. My healing closed the skin, stitched it to the muscle left behind. Your body is processing it all. It will settle down soon.”

“Can I… can I see?” Sabal asked, voice quiet.

The woman smiled wider and nodded. “Of course. Let me help you up.”

Slowly, Sabal rose, shifting so their feet were resting on the ground, and they stood. The woman led them to a full-length mirror in the corner of the room, gesturing to it. In their reflection, red and white eyes met each other before drifting down to their chest. The scarred skin was still fresh and angry, but sufficiently healed so as not to require stitches. And flat. Their hand drifted up to gingerly touch the barely curving plane of their upper body, drifting down to the bottom of their ribcage. Just as they’d asked, the scars across their flattened breasts has been carved into a line of diamonds meant to resemble the stars.

“Are you satisfied?” she asked.

Sabal nodded. “Yes. This is… exactly what I wanted.”

It would be another month before they finally bid farewell to the two men who’d become their dearest friends and set themself up in a modest apartment above a tavern, where they’d been employed since arriving in Baldur’s Gate. Their days were spent in a myriad of ways, from serving drinks to cooking suppers to performing for the patrons. They did their work, and they were happy to. And at night, when alone in their room, they would look at their reflection sometimes, and smile at the person who looked back.

Another year passed this way, their days filled with their work and frequent outings with their friends. It was one such outing where Ruvyn brought up the subject. “I’m planning another trip, a small tour of the Sword Coast to see how things have been since the last time. Pick up some new stories, catch some news from beyond the city, that sort of thing. Would you… be interested in coming with me, Sabal?”

Sabal didn’t answer immediately, mulling over the question. “Why me?”

“Because we make a good duet!” Ruvyn said with a small laugh. “Ever since I taught you the lyre. And it’s safer not to travel alone.”

“Why not bring Arthur?” Sabal asked.

Arthur shook his head. “Oh, I’m no fighter. And someone needs to tend to the home, make sure it’s still there when Ruvyn returns.”

Sabal chuckled softly at that, having learned a while ago now that Arthur was, despite his charms, more of a homebody. They nodded. “Alright, I suppose I’m overdue for a journey.”

In three days’ time they set out into the morning sun, ready for adventure.

No one could’ve ever imagined where it would take them.

Next Chapter ➡

#baldurs gate 3 #baldur's gate 3 #bg3 #baldur's gate fic #astarion x tav #astarion x mc #my work #fanfiction #starcrossed starfalling

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alyjojo · 11 months

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Advice to Work on Yourself 🪁 in June 2023: Cancer

The Tower - 2 Swords - 5 Pentacles

Regarding: 6 Cups

Wow, this reading is confirmation for the energy I’ve been getting for Cancer and how it’s led me to showcasing some of these aspects of your nature in July. Your sign has a very strong tie to the past, nostalgia, memories, family, the way things were. Being a Cardinal sign, it’s actually not that hard for you to adjust to swift changes or “move on”, but internally you do carry a lot with you always. Astrologers tend to highlight your softness, but there’s actually a bit of a tortured soul in there, and though you are vulnerable, you don’t usually let it ALL out. Crab shell. Protection. For many of you, this is regarding an ex, and for the rest it’s regarding a home situation in a broader sense.

In the past, you dealt with a missed opportunity, possibly unrequited love, doesn’t have to be you saw someone or something through rose colored glasses and what you wanted them/it to be, not who they really were. Or you never saw the end of this coming. 4 Wands indicates a stable relationship, living with someone, or planning to take things to the next level. Could describe a literal home. This fell apart suddenly, shockingly, and you’ve been heavily focused on what’s been lost ever since. 5 Cups isn’t looking at what’s still here, 2 Cups, you’re deeply upset by the three cups that have spilled over and everything that’s gone. There are a lot of regrets in you or sadness that needs to be healed. You keep wondering if there’s something you could have done differently, and if you make an effort now, could you change the situation?

I don’t actually see an outcome for that, not this month. This is a process of healing that you’re going through, 3 Swords shows either this was an outside party, or an outside circumstance of some kind, but with that I don’t feel there’s anything you could’ve done differently. These feelings of regret, guilt, loss, abandonment, they all need to be looked over consciously & dealt with, so you can eventually let them go. See those 2 Cups you still have, they’re behind you. That’s the advice. Some of you have dealt with massive financial hardship regarding a situation that was stable. Again, some outside factor caused this for you and you only need to heal. In either story, studying your emotions consciously so you can work through them, some of the time, and when it gets too much - redirecting your focus onto work and bettering your financial situation are the best things you can do for yourself. I don’t see reunions, or change, or destiny, nothing like that. It’s an unrequited situation, a missed opportunity, possibly something sent your way TO shake up your world and put you on another path, wherever you’re supposed to be heading, with whoever you’re supposed to be with.

The Tower is connected to 4 Wands, but a Tower doesn’t often fall for no reason, it can but not usually, it falls when the base it’s standing on is actually made of sand. Knight of Cups rev shows you’re not seeing this clearly, you’re giving them or this way too much credit in a loving way. Because you wanted it to be that way, or you felt that way. They felt otherwise or it wasn’t supposed to be how you wanted it. When we are stuck too long in a situation we don’t belong in, Spirit knocks down a Tower. Karma/Fate may be a factor for the other person involved, idk I don’t see their side, but I don’t see that for you, it’s just hurt to heal. I do see fear on whether you can successfully get over this, whether relationship or finances, and for that it’s a YES 🙌 Someday. It always helps to find others that have gone through something similar too. You don’t have to do it alone.

Animal Oracle: Camel 🐪

“Trust that you have the resources to get through the challenges before you.”

Sometimes it feels like you’re journeying across a vast, lifeless desert that stretches behind the horizon with no end in sight. Journeying across this seemingly barren landscape before you, your thirst for comfort and solace during these times can most readily be satisfied by looking to your inner resources. All the experiences you’ve had in your lifetime, the challenges you’ve successfully faced, and the wealth of knowledge you’ve accumulated can be called on not only to cope with any type of adversity that presents itself, but to help you move forward with courage and determination. First, identify where you want to go and then proceed slowly, steadily, and deliberately toward that objective. As you move along, cast away your fears, doubts, and hesitations whenever they arise, letting the four winds lift them up to the sun to be burned away. Ease your mind and heart, and know that all is well and you’re protected at all times. Call upon your helping spirits who have assisted you up through this point in your journey. You have what it takes, you will get through this!

Artist Oracle: GRAYSON PERRY

- Scratch at the surface until your fingers bleed.

- Meaning separates art from craft.

- Try something new, the old-fashioned way.

Advice:

- Plan for Your Financial Future

- Test the Job Market

- Break a Bad Habit

Charms:

Heart ❤️ on 6 Cups shows you being genuine with your love, and the memories you carry with you are loving memories. With this, you may be painting a situation as more than it actually was. Not all of them of course. You’re breaking your own heart by living in nostalgia and what’s lost to you. I’m not seeing you have any reason to regret, this feels like something that happened TO you. If anything, you can feel secure just knowing you have a lot of love for something/someone else, and your intentions were in the right place. That’s all you can do.

Owl 🦉 on Grayson particularly “scratch at the surface until your fingers bleed” is looking for wisdom and answers in this situation, digging and digging, regretting and searching…for nothing. It’s unrequited, they didn’t feel the same. Or it’s not your fault. That’s all there was. For the money issue, I’m not getting it’s anything you did, or could have prevented. The blame needs to shift away from yourself. Sometimes, things just happen. Free will is always a part of our lives as much as karma is, in some ways that’s how karma is created in the first place right? I don’t see this as being a karmic situation, but may be being romanticized like it is.

Squid 🦑 on 2 Swords is you blaming yourself, could I have done something different? If I was richer, prettier, stronger? Should I just change and be more like xyz? If I went to get pizza this morning instead of the post office could I have…no, you couldn’t have. And even if you could (which I don’t see), the more important message is that it’s over with now, you can only start from right now.

Butterfly 🦋 on The Star is a beautiful transformation awaiting you on your healing journey, this situation may be the catalyst for your transformation, because you *begin* it hoping if you’ll change in this way, something will be what it was before. That’s not what’s happening, but it’s what causes this in you, and could be a reason something had to happen in the way that it did. Rejection is redirection. Your fixation on the past needs releasing and your dreams need transforming.

Fleur de Lis ⚜️ on Test the Job Market is something “regal” or makes you feel that way. Whether you work for a clothing designer, a prestigious company, something along those lines does/will make you feel GOOD. Spirit wants you to set a higher standard for yourself, challenge yourself in terms of your career so that your self-esteem skyrockets when you smash your goals. If a job has been the problem, there’s something better for you.

Dead Tree 🍂 on 3 Swords is done, and it’s not your fault. Some 3rd energy, person, circumstance, etc., took control of this situation and you got left with the fallout of it in whatever way it applies. For those with the hope of healing a connection, this is saying this situation is a burned bridge. It nods to the Fleur de Lis, your desires are next level, classy, regal, your self worth is worth more than just this situation that you’re giving way too much weight in your life. Use it as motivation, inspiration, a reason to find/do better.

#cancer tarot reading #advice to work on yourself #June 2023 #cancer #tarot #tarotblr

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