#beating yourself up wont make things easier to do. treat yourself with the kindness and patience that i know you deserve.

[martyrbat]

the batman's grave #10

[ID: a multi-panel sequence of Bruce Wayne being exhausted and struggling to take a shower safely. The shower is in a large cube shape with a clear glass door, blue tile, and a drain on the floor. Bruce is facing away from the water with slumped shoulders as he hangs his head and rubs his face wearily. He tips his head back to feel the water on his face before having to stabilize himself on the wall. His back is bloodied and scratched as he struggles to keep his eyes open and heavily blinks. Then suddenly, Bruce collapses onto the floor. He comes to and cradles his bleeding head in a fetal position before forcing himself to be kneeling. From beyond the restroom door, Alfred concernly asks, “Have you fallen asleep in the shower, Master Bruce?” Bruce calls out he's fine. However, Alfred persists, “Have you had an accident in there? Do I need to cleam that room later?” Bruce tiredly pushes his hand through his hair and looks down at the floor drain—where his blood is already being washed away before responding “no”. END ID]

#god hes just like me fr.... #buy hey. hey u. its okay if you have depression or any mental illness that makes showering exhausting #you're not disgusting. you're not pathetic. you're not a bad person. these things can be difficult and #beating yourself up wont make things easier to do. treat yourself with the kindness and patience that i know you deserve. #disabled bruce #<- babe wake up new ransom tag ! #hes just... very important to me #c: the batman's grave | i: 10 #crypt's panels #bruce wayne #happy sad boy sunday !!! #bruce's sad showers

[oneaneonly]

it actually.. never occurred to me if they end their life then me, and by extension rest of us, never get to say goodbyes either. i never left a note. or anything like that. i dont have anyone to leave it to. nothing in life really matters to me. i feel like, if i had to write Anything to anyone itd be j***. for keeping them… alive? being kind to them even when i and no one else was

i had a rough start. i dont know why i was the way i was. we theorize i learned how to treat them from how the world treated them, but i dont know. when i first got here i was fuck lack of better word a dick. i hated them. i think? i dont know but i was angry. i used to physically beat them up and theyd run away to j*** so scared because of me and that was the only one who could protect them. they didnt make the connection about systems but just knew someone inside of them was beating them up. it was scary because where do you hide? j*** didnt like me for a long time, understandably, because of how i was treating someone they loved. and i was scared of what theyd do to me

i think i discovered guilt (?) but i have spent so long, years now, trying to be different. i dont want to hurt them. and after 2022 i realised how painful it is living in their life. i dont want to say i pity them because they wont like it but its… rough. its insane to live like this. since then ive tried to make their life easier, stand up if applicable, because no one else has and ever will. it sure seems so.

j*** i have an unmoving appreciation for. thats the only person i can trust to handle them with tact and the caution they desire. they are unwavering with their love and, for the first time in their life, they genuinely trust j***. as close as they can get to it i guess.

all that to say… i know i was bad. i know im not really good. i dont have all these emotions like care and empathy and whatever else, i just dont care about most things, im angry sometimes and indifferent always. maybe sometimes im fascinated and elated. theres a lot in this world to see. i think part of me wishes i knew more. but i dont care enough

thank you to those who tried and a big fuck you to those who didnt. im not the gentle one they are and i dont care. fuck you to everyone who put them here. theyll say its their fault but id have half the mind to list every one of you shit stains off by NAME if i didnt worry about their best interests and how itd affect them safety wise. but fuck you. this should be you. you should be the one hunched over in pain. you should be the ones not eating meals because YOU dont deserve it. YOU should be the one cutting yourself with a tape blade for repentance. YOU should be the one planning running away everyday of your life. you should be planning suicides. you should be battling two personality disorders. i dont want to write a kind note because now i realise i have nothing nice to say. fuck you all. fuck all of you. i hope its you instead. that, in death, would make me feel good as fuck

they love their parents, j***, the two people they talk to. anyone else? who am i to say it wasnt about you. see you in hell

an and puri and i dont get along well but i am willing to write notes for them here too, if they wish

[honeykawa]

Fly | Route: Tanaka Ryuunosuke

genre: mafia au, choose your own adventure

warnings: violence, suggestive themes but nothing graphic

word count: 3.1k

Fly Masterlist

“I choose him”

You looked at the man who had been standing in the corner of the room with his arms crossed

“Tanaka get your ass moving and take them home. Pick them up in the morning and take them home from now on. Make sure they dont run away or itll be on your head”

“Got it boss”

The car ride to your apartment was filled with silence and the soft sound of music coming from the radio

You were too nervous to say anything

The growing feeling of anxiety in your chest made it almost hard to breath

You started to unconsciously grab at the area above your chest and your breathing became irregular

‘How did i get into this mess?’ ‘whats going to happen to me?’

These thoughts keep rushing through your head

“--hey are you okay?”

Tanaka pulled the car over so he could stop and assess just what was happening

And from the way he saw it...it looked like an anxiety attack

His panicked a little himself watching you like this he didnt even want to imagine the feelings rushing through you right now

He got you to control your breathing again and come down from your panic

“You good now?”

You nodded your head, still weary about being near this man

He could tell you were still on your guard with the way you wrapped your arms around your body, as if you were trying to make yourself smaller

“I know it seems rough right now but i swear itll be okay”

His voice was soft with you, something you didnt expect from someone in the mafia

The car ride after that went pretty smooth

“We’re here”

The ride went faster than you thought it would and you got out of his car before saying your goodbyes

“Ill pick you up in the morning...if you need me heres my card”

He held out his card to you as you slowly took it from his hands

“See you”

And with that he sped off as you went inside your apartment to go to bed, hoping that maybe this had all been a dream

Once tanaka got back to his apartment he immediately plopped himself onto his bed and covered his eyes with his arm while thoughts of you plagued his mind

‘Cute’

His arm fell down to his side and he just stared at the ceiling

“Get your shit together tanaka. Your job is to watch them, nothing more”

He rolled over to his side with thoughts of you fading as he drifted into sleep

You woke up to the sound of light knocking on your door

And as soon as you opened the door it finally set in that last night really did happen

“Are you ready to go?”

Tanaka took one look at you and let out a deep sigh knowing that you werent

“Ill give you fifteen minutes”

You nodded your head as you ran back into your room and changed into something work appropriate

Wait where were you working? What would be considered work appropriate?

Based off of what tanaka was wearing you assumed something business casual

When you came out you looked at tanaka to see if this was good enough and he just nodded his head and started walking back towards his car, opening the door for you to get in

“I talked it over with daichi and youll be working with me as my assistant”

Your eyes widened and he immediately knew what went through your mind

“No not like that! Like with actual business stuff you wont really have to do anything with the mafia”

His flailing around made you laugh a bit and lifted a weight off of your shoulders

Listening to you laugh was almost relaxing, his cheeks heating up from the mere sight of your carefree smile

He gave you a quick tour of the place and introduced you to the others if you ran into them but that was about it

As his assistant you really didnt do much

If anything it felt like he was just an over glorified babysitter

But you shuffled through the files he gave you and sorted them the way he wanted

Tanaka watched you from the corner of his eye while you both worked

It wasnt that he was worried you would do it wrong

But it was just last night that you had that anxiety attack right in front of him

“y/n do you want to go out?”

You looked up from your papers and looked at him in confusion

“Right now? And what do you mean by ‘go out’?”

A big smile appeared on his face

“Yeah right now! Lets go! And dont think too much of it”

He stood up and grabbed his wallet

You followed him and as you two rounded the corner of the block he held the door open to a small cafe

“Go ahead and order whatever you want its on me”

You were weary about being here

Would you two get in trouble for leaving like that?

Tanaka could see the worry still lingering on your face and rose his hand to gently pat your head

“Like I said its on me so dont worry about leaving the office ill take any repercussions if there are any”

The grin on his face took a weight off of your chest and you felt like the air around you wasnt so thick anymore

After getting back to the office no one had even noticed that you two had even left

Whos running this place??

The next few weeks seemed to be fine

It was almost like you lived a normal life and you werent being watched by the mafia

You and tanaka had grown closer and it was easier to talk to the others now

He treated you kindly and tried to understand your situation

Unlike the two interns who always berated you for not knowing where certain files were or would roll their eyes when you would flinch at sudden movements the first few days

But tanaka took it slow with you, doing little things so that youd be more comfortable

At first it was subtle

If you needed to go make a copy of something he’d suddenly need to go grab something from the copy room with you even if you insisted that you could get it for him

Or how he always tried to include you in conversations with others so you would get more comfortable around everyone

Tanaka grew to be someone who it was easy for you to be around

But that sense of calmness was quickly wiped away when you joined him on one of his...excursions

“Heres the case. Now give us what we want”

Tanaka held the case in front of him while you just watched from the car

Sure, he’d take you with him but he’d never let you actually get out

He didnt really want this to take too long

Especially since it was just him against a good handful of men

But the men he was making the trade deal with suddenly saw you in move in the car and locked eyes with you

His smile sent a chill down your spine formed on his face

“New deal: give me that hot piece of ass in the car and you have a deal”

Tanakas jaw clenched at the the disgusting words just said about you

“Im sorry but,”

You couldnt see tanakas face until he looked up at the man in front of him

The look on his face utterly terrified you

“I’ll kill you if you even try to put a hand on them”

Everyone stood there unmoving, too scared to move

Tanaka turned around and headed back to the car where you were

“Deals off if that wasnt clear”

But one of the other men moved towards him

“The fuck you mean its off!”

Tanaka easily evaded the man’s advance and took him down with only a quick few movements

“Anyone else want to try”

The question was simple enough but no one dared made eye contact with him as he got into the car and drove off

The car ride was quiet, youd never seen tanaka look like that before

It scared you

He scared you

Tanaka noticed your silence and reached a hand out to pat your head but his chest went heavy at the sight of you flinching

“Y/n?”

You knew he wouldnt hurt you but you couldnt stop the slight tremble

“Im sorry tanaka”

A weak smile appeared on his face

“It’s fine y/n. i’ll take you home, okay?”

You just nod your head and neither of you talk the rest of the ride

A few days go by and you can feel the distance between you and tanaka growing

Its so noticeable that the others in the office can feel the awkwardness between the two of you

Tanaka suddenly stood up from his seat which startled you but he quickly rose his hands

“Woah sorry didnt mean to scare you”

He said it with such a sad smile on his face that it almost hurt to even look at him

“Ill be back in a moment, gotta use the bathroom”

You nodded your head as he left and let out a sigh

You knew he was just doing business

This was his job

It just shocked you to see the man thats been so kind to you to look...like that

Tanaka on the other hand knew this would happen eventually

He washed his face in the sink and looked up at his reflection

‘Remember your place. They deserve better’

He wiped off his face before heading back to his office only to see you not there

His heart just drop not seeing you there

“y/n?!”

He was about to bolt out of there but as soon as he turned around he bumped right into you

You fell onto the ground and the papers you were holding scattered around everywhere

You both just looked at each other for a moment

“Tanaka--”

Before you could say anymore he scooped you into his arms and you could feel the slight tremble in his shoulders before he quickly pulled away once he realized what he was doing

“Sorry y/n i dont know what came over me”

He started help to pick up the papers you dropped but before he could get too far you pulled him into a hug

He was frozen on the spot at feeling your touch

The warmth from your hands made his heart beat erratically

“Im sorry tanaka”

Your arms tightened around him

Youd seen so many sides of him

How clumsy he was

How kind he could be

Youve also seen how scary he could be and honestly it still shocked you

But you want to believe in him

The him thats been nothing but gentle with you

You could hear him let out a shaky breath before pulling you into his chest

After that your relationship with tanaka went back to normal

Or at least as normal as it could have been

Ever since that day youve started to notice how your heart speeds up whenever you look at him

Or the butterflies in your stomach when he smiles at you

He was careful to not let you see the mafia side of things anymore

You appreciate the thought but youd be lying if you said it didnt worry you when he came to work bandaged or bruised

Today was one of those days where tanaka had picked you up with some visible injuries

The cut on his face looked fairly fresh and without realizing it you reached up and gently ran your thumb over it

“Um what are you doing y/n”

Not that tanaka hated this

He felt his heart flutter at your touch

“You know, i dont mind helping you if you need it”

He smiled and took your hand off of his face

“Thank you y/n but im fine”

Just knowing that you cared was enough for him

‘I love you’

They were words he couldnt say

But he knew this life wasnt for you and he couldnt force you to come live in it

A few weeks go by and you feel like every time you get close to him he pulls back to just keep it barely within the realm of just friends

But that was fine as long as you could stay near

It was another one of those days where tanaka was off doing mafia business so noya kept you company

He always had his guard up but he seemed to take a liking to you

“Do you like tanaka”

The question caught you so off guard you dropped your pen

You looked up at him

“Is it that obvious?”

Noya kept working on whatever was in front of him not even sparing you a glance

“Painfully”

You could feel your embarrassment rising

“But if it makes you feel any better i think he likes you too so promise me...make him happy”

Before you could say anything back noyas phone went off and he immediately answered

His eyes went wide and his head whipped towards you before hanging up and dragging you somewhere

“Noya! Where are we going?”

He rushed you into a car and he took the wheel before driving off to who knows where

“Where are we?”

He got out of the car and opened your door

You were at an apartment complex from the look of it

“We’re at tanakas apartment hurry up”

You immediately got out and followed after him and you almost felt your legs give out seeing the state tanaka was in

Bloody and battered

Hinata was sitting next to his bed with his arms crossed

“Idiot rushed in despite not having a gun”

Noya rolled his eyes

“You know he doesnt like carrying one whyd you let him go alone?”

“Not my fault he didnt stop to think”

They kept talking to each other and went into the other room leaving you both alone

His breathing seemed stable as he slept but tears escaped your eyes as you took a seat next to him

Noya left you with tanaka and told you to take care of him

“He’ll try to tell you hes okay. Dont listen to him hes a fucking liar so take good care of him for me”

It was funny but it almost sounded like a goodbye

Tanaka woke up later that night only to see you sitting next to him with tear stains on your cheeks

The thought of you shedding tears because of him both hurt and warmed his heart

He reached up to wipe your face despite the pain he felt

Your cheeks fit perfectly within his hand and he found it cute how you leaned into his touch subconsciously

He couldnt move much but this is all he needed

You woke up before he did that next morning and decided to make some breakfast for the both of you

When you came back in he was just waking up

“Good morning tanaka”

The smile on your face as the sunlight trickled in through the window made him feel at ease

This...this was the life he longed for

“Morning”

He tried to sit up but flinched while doing so

You rushed to his side and set the food down before helping him up

“Dont push yourself. Youre still pretty banged up”

You changed his bandages for him every evening after that

“I can do this myself you know”

He said it with a light laugh

He was starting to get back on his feet and regained most of his movement and strength

“I know but...id like it if you would rely on me just a bit more. I know i cant do much but i can do this”

He didnt say anything back to you after that

In all honesty he didnt want to do it himself

Every time your hand even brushed over his skin it felt like he was on fire

Even the scars that have long since healed throbbed at your touch

His heart beat so hard against his chest that he was afraid that you could hear it

“There all done! Hope that wasnt too bad”

‘Dont smile at me’

‘Youre far too precious’

‘I dont know what ill do if you look at me like that’

He really was planning to let you go, he was fine with just keeping you at an arms length away but now he knew he was in too deep

You got up to put the first aid kit away but he quickly pulled you into his bed with him and he held you tight against his chest

His face was buried into the crook of your neck

He didnt know what he wanted anymore

He wanted to keep you safe but he couldnt guarantee that with him being in the mafia

He hated it

This life wasnt the one he wanted anymore

The life he wanted was with you

Slowly, he rose his head to look at you

“Run away with me y/n”

Your eyes widened in pure shock

“What...what did you just say?”

You couldnt believe what he just said

His eyes were serious though

“Run away with me. I dont want this life anymore. I want to give you the life you deserve. One filled with happiness and laughter where you dont have to worry about things like if ill come home the next day or not. One where you arent targeted. I love you y/n. I love you so much so please, run away with me or so help me god ill just take you”

He held you so tight that it felt like he might break at any sudden movement

You wrapped your arms around him and held him gently against you so you wouldnt hurt any of his wounds

“Then take me away”

That was all tanaka needed to let go of any reservations that were holding him back up

He kissed you with everything hes been bottling up until this moment

Your lungs burned as pulled away, both out of breath but hungry for more

“I hope you know Im not letting you go. Youre stuck with me now”

You laughed and kissed his forehead

“I wouldnt have it any other way”

That night was spent in each others arms, both of you longing for the others touch and neither of you wanting to be apart for even a second

Noya visited the apartment a few days later only to be met with complete silence

A knowing smile appeared on his face as he shook his head

He knew wherever you two were you were both happy

Because he knew you would keep your promise to him

#tanaka ryunosuke x reader #tanaka ryuunosuke #tanaka ryuunosuke x reader #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu!! x reader #haikyu scenarios #haikyuu scenarios #haikyuu mafia #tanaka x reader

[fairycosmos]

i hate grief bc i've wanted to die my whole life and thinking about the person i lost never wanted to make me stay but now that they are the ones who died i'm angry as fuck every day and feel trapped but i know that if it had been me the one to die it would have been ok and i wouldnt even have worried about it/hurting ppl with my death. like every day i do H and get drunk and i dont care about dying you know? but i lost someone and it makes me angry that THEY didnt care. do you get what i mean?

i am really really sorry for your loss. yeah. i know what you mean, at least to an extent. everyone’s grief and suffering is unique to them and the relationship they had with the one who passed, but i can relate so much to being trapped and mad and out of my mind. i think a lot of people can. it seems like so many of us are walking around half disillusioned by this existence and half completely done with it because of the shit we’ve been through. every day i feel a form of anger (most of the time it is cold and numbing) when i think about how my sister died. i have gone round and round in my head about why she did the things she did. because even if it wasn’t fully preventable, it wasn’t cancer or a car crash or anything like that. when i found out what she had in her system. god. i can not explain to you what that moment was like. it fucking choked me. all i remember is i felt my heart beating somewhere in my head, and i was PISSED. i thought i was going to pass out. because it’s like you said - she didn’t care, and that was almost like proof. she went to sleep thinking nothing of anything. mindless. after weeks of lecturing her, after her constant presence in my life, all that time. after years of her fucking around w other drugs and finally finding stability only to slip for less than a month bc of some fucking man, only to lose her entire life to a mistake - it’s inexplicable. i can sit here and write to you about it but i still cant’t fathom it. how she didn’t give a fuck, or she couldn’t see the situation clearly enough to. and now i’m living this forever without her. now i have to take care of my mother alone. now i’ve lost my best friend. and she lost everything. she was a whole person, she would’ve had years left and she deserved to. and the only reason she didn’t is because she couldn’t fuckin accept how much she was worth, how much life was worth so she gambled w death. what i’m saying is i understand that in a way, maybe a selfish way, i don’t know -  it almost feels mocking. because we’ll never know if they realize what they’ve done. after she died that’s all i could repeat out loud in the shower. i kept saying: you don’t know what you’ve done. idiot, stupid girl. shit like that. every time i tried to talk to her, it was a lecture. so yeah. it is very very normal to be pissed off and bitter dude. it is not easy or fair to be left behind. it’s all a normal part of grief. losing it entirely is the whole thing because honestly what else can you do.

i could be wrong but. unfortunately i think all of these emotions, in the context of you, stem from the fact that it is easier to care for others than it is to care about yourself. you’re not bothered about yourself dying because you don’t have the same love for yourself that you had for the one who passed. you don’t see yourself as important in that way. i don’t know what happened to make you feel like that. maybe whatever it was lead you to use drugs n alcohol to escape in the first place. maybe you think you not mattering is some sort of universal truth, but it’s not. it’s a belief you constructed either out of pain or as a trauma response that you’ve clung onto so much that you’ve convinced yourself it’s reality. it’s clear you’re going through an insurmountably difficult time, and i know words on a screen aren’t going to change that. i wont pretend to get it first hand. i just want you to know that the same way you wish your friend had realized the worth in their life before it was too late, that same anger born from frustration and sadness - that’s how a lot of people likely feel about you. and i know you don’t care about hurting them w your death because you don’t care about anything. your friend didn’t care, why should you, right? but that’s how the cycle perpetuates. and you’re the one who has to live with this all now, stuck here or not. try to periodically and consciously recognize how fucked up and permanent grief is. you don’t want to be the one to cause it. not really. not when you can see it for what it is and you have the option to prevent it. you are here no matter how much you wish not to be. you do deserve to find substantial peace, stability and good health while you still can. that’s non negotiable. even if it takes a fucking life time getting there.

i completely understand that it is all far easier said than done. that you have to be the one who is willing to reach out for help and to really stick w a plan but. i guess i just hope you know that the option will always be waiting for you when you are willing to seek it out. whether it’s through a hotline, rehab, your doctor, your friends and family, 2 hours without using or drinking. any step in the right direction is commendable. you are absolutely more resilient than you realize. more in general than you realize. you’ve had to deal with so much, just the most unimaginable things, and you’re still here. i know that’s because you feel you have no real choice in the matter, back to being trapped here. but nonetheless you’re making it. you can learn to treat yourself w the same regard that you treated your friend. you can learn to care about what happens to you. you can slowly make a home out of what you currently see as a jail.  through talking, through implementing healthier coping mechanisms into your daily life, through building a support system, through confronting and processing how much it hurts, through finding the clarity that comes with progress. all the things your brain wants you to write off. addiction and mental illness are genuine health concerns that require long lasting therapy and treatment just like any other ailment. and maybe the point is to learn to live with them, rather than to cure them entirely. but they are not a death sentence (and that is a good thing), and they are not the entirety of you. you are just currently very overwhelmed by them, understandably so.  excuse me if this is all sounds like naïve bullshit, but maybe some day you will be able to take some of it on board if you can’t right now. anyway, it sounds cliche as fuck, but every day that you’re alive you’re keeping your friend’s influence on this world alive too. you were shaped by them, in more ways than you realize. and they’re here in more ways than we realize too. not necessarily ghosts, at least imo. but just around. and in your head, in the universe. i am rooting for you so much and i hope you can accept that even if it all feels like lies, it’s ok to treat yourself w kindness. any attempt is good enough. sending a lot of love your way. please take care of yourself as much as possible. please consider your needs and your well being while you still have the choice to. sorry to go all 90s drug prevention ad on you btw, but u know me. i’m incapable of shutting up and minding my business abt this sort of thing lol

#tw drugs #tw addiction #tw death #tw overdose #tw suicide #anon

[dadzawa-adopt-dabi]

secret baby ch 10

(oof this is a long chapter! let me know if i forgot to tag anything!)

The first offer of business Dabi gets is for one of his neighbors, a nice elderly alpha woman who can't bend like she used to, she stays in the apartment with him the first few times as they build some trust between them. As Dabi cleans up for her and makes the trips down the block to the laundromat for her. At the end of the day she sends him home with leftovers, some cash and pretty decent leftovers.

Him and Kiyoko get invited back several times as she spreads the word to her friends. Eventually he strikes a deal with a young couple for a free house clean and meal made in exchange for a burner phone to get contact with his customers.

It takes a few weeks , Dabi is getting used to running his own business. He takes Kiyoko with him to almost all of his ‘appointments’, despite one of his customers offering to babysit for him. He places her in a room separate from the one he is cleaning in but close enough to hear him talking and singing to her and she doozes the day away while he works until he picks her up and they go to his next appointment. She has a special basket designed to let her wings poke through and Dabi carries her in a baby backpack to the appointments he can. Sometimes there’s mold and he has to leave her behind, sometimes he has another nurse Karen for a client, someone who judges him for bringing Kiyoko.  His first client eventually clues him into an omega in the building who watches the buildings kids for a small fee.He still brings Kiyoko when he can't bear to leave her with his babysitter, a consistent fear of something happening to her keeping him close. Sometimes when he brings her he gets paid less because Kiyoko's crying supposedly bothers his clients. It's only ever a couple dollars difference but every dollar counts when you're raising a kid by yourself.

Eventually he has keys to most of his clients places of residence as he cleans for busier and busier people. His networking slowly starts paying off as he starts making enough to squeak by on rent while keeping himself and Kiyoko fed. It’s close and it won't last but it's enough to get them through the month. It's stressful and he can feel the strain of it wearing on his health.

Kiyoko is 3 months old when his body snaps under the stress,just at the age where she can giggle at the funny faces and noises Dabi has been making for her lately. He’s canceled all his appointments for the next few days, head bent over a toilet when she giggles for the first time. Dabi feels like crying from all the stress, he’s sick and tired and is just barely going to squeak by on rent again unless he can reschedule all his appointments again. He’s cooking and cleaning his apartment and other peoples homes and is probably just sick from the anxiety and stress of being a single parent. Maybe actually sick from a bug he unknowingly caught and has now transferred to his daughter. He makes a note to make a doctor appointment for both of them as he heaves.

And his daughter is laughing, giggling at him as he makes funny noises to her. He kind of feels like crying, he wants someone to rub his back. He wants Hawks, he has no idea how Hawks would react to this. If he would be caring and sooth Dabi while he held their daughter, Or if he would tell him to clean up when he was done being dramatic. 

He’s doing everything by himself, trying to stay under Enji and Hawks radar. It's been months and they haven't come looking but that doesn't mean they wont. He honestly doesn't know if him and Kiyoko can make it. If he should call Hawks and come clean. Maybe he wouldn’t be as bad as enji had been, for a moment he wavers in indecision. The want to have Hawks close is something he thought would fade with time. Instead the want is only growing with every obstacle put in his path.

What steels his resolve is the chubby smile and giggle Kiyoko gives him as he turns his phone over in his hands. Maybe isn’t good enough for him, and it's not good enough to risk for Kiyoko. He reminds himself firmly. Dabi wipes his mouth and stands up. It’s not like he can call Hawks anyways when he left his old phone and Hawks number with it on his table. He can do this, for Kiyoko, he has to at least try.

“Something funny princess? You're the best thing to happen to me okay? No matter if I'm worrying my head off or you laughing at me as I lose my lunch. You're the best damn thing to ever happen to me.” Dabi scoops her up and steps into his tiny shower with her.

There’s not going to be any fear from her parents in Kiyoko’s life. No screaming and yelling. No being blamed for things she had no control over like being sick. Dabi isn’t going to be Enji and he’s not going to raise Kiyoko with someone like him either.

Dabi’s nest isn’t as big or well made as Kiyoko’s considering he’s had less practice doing it for himself and nothing ever feels quite right after they are both clean making faces at her. She giggles at nearly anything he does. It makes Dabi’s heart feel light again every time he hears the sound. He starts up a rumbling purr for her, the best one he can manage, still full of hiccups and uneven despite how happy she makes him. He’s going to do the best he can and it’s just going to have to be enough to get them through. No amount of how much easier life would be, how much less stigma he would face, status and comfort will ever be worth his daughters safety.

He purrs Kiyoko to sleep and follows moments after.

He gets up after their nap Dabi gets up after their nap feeling a lot better, maybe it has just been the poor sleep and eating habits. Whatever had made him sick, Kiyoko doesn't seem to have caught it. He's been checking both of there’s regularly to make sure she doesn't catch anything from traveling with her after a client brought it up with him. It's been something of a miracle that he hasn’t gotten sick. Kiyoko hasn’t shown any signs of getting sick as easily as he might have as an infant. He doesn't know if he got sick as often as an infant as he did as a child. He knows he was sick a lot as a child, remembers struggling through fatigue to get up and help fuyumi.  The constant exhaustion with the pain from bruises and then having to go ‘train’ with his father. Feeling nauseous and like his knees would go out from under him but he had to take care of the house before enji came home. Rei had been too much of a nervous wreck to take care of him and too busy ensuring the days of depression and neglect got taken care of. Her panic and screaming at them that enji’s anger was all their fault made things worse in those days. It was never anyone's fault other than enji’s that he hit his kids and wife, even as a kid Touya had known that, had repeated it to himself as he treated his and fuyumis burns and bruises. Had told Natsou as he grew older, asking Touya why neither of his parents cared for him and if it was really their fault. Just as he had known that his mother had not wanted to have him or his sister, born as part of a contract agreement for an arranged marriage.

Then Enji had decided that he couldn’t train Touya to be a hero. That Touya was weak,always had been, he would better serve enji’s legacy as a bride married off to an alpha with a strong quirk. Most likely a hero. Touya had been 17 and told that within the year enji would be looking for ‘appropriate’ suitors for someone born of enji. He’d started sneaking out and stashing away everything he could. Eventually he would meet Hawks and being as drawn to him as he was, eventually conceive Kiyoko and jumpstart his runaway plan.

“Hey no fever Kiyoko! Good job! You beat those germs!” Dabi coos at her shanking thoughts of the past from his head. Picking her up and scenting the top of her head as he searches for his phone, if he’s feeling better then he can start rescheduling his clients. He bounces her as she giggles and he talks on the phone, no amount of wishing for Keigo will do him any good. It’s not like he’s wishing for only keigo either, he’s wishing for anyone to help him more often than not despite knowing that he will never accept the help, he doesn't trust anyone enough for that. Keigo just happens to be the alpha he knows best outside of his family.

Most of his clients can’t reschedule and Dabi starts reworking his meal plans for the month, mentally stretching what money he will make to keep them with a roof over their head and the lights on. He’s going to have to ask for another extension on rent, the landlord has been getting increasingly frustrated with his problems but there’s not much more he can do.

It's a couple of weeks later when Dabi takes Kiyoko with him while he runs down to the laundromat for a last minute client that lives in his building. The man needed his clothes with his uniform done but was too busy that evening to do it himself and had offered Dabi cash. So despite the late hour meaning he couldn’t leave Kiyoko with the usual sitter he agreed. 

There’s a young couple fighting outside and Dabi tenses as he tries to ignore it while carrying Kiyoko and the bags of laundry through the dark nearly empty lot. Couple’s argue, they get mad at each other and fight, it's normal he reminds himself and he doesn't want to get involved.He leaves Kiyoko sitting in her carrier on top of a started washer and goes back outside for another bag of laundry outside the door. He couldn’t open the door with both bags and his baby so he had set one down and now had to go back for it. It’s not at all to keep watch on the fighting couple in case someone has to call the authorities.

Maybe they were breaking up and this had been their meeting point or maybe they had a fight here with no one around and whatever it was said was the last straw.

There’s another person hanging around outside,smoking, who raises an eyebrow at him but doesn't say much. Other than them and the arguing couple the place is empty.

“He has to learn at some point! I've got a say in how you raise him like it or not he’s my kid too.” The male of the pair points at a car in the parking lot. Ignoring the potential witnesses watching him.

“Get the fuck away from me, I said we were done and I meant it.” The woman who is getting yelled at by her partner in public growls at him. Dabi’s head refuses to turn away, he knows what comes next but can’t look away. 

He doesn't want to see it, see what comes next, but he’s frozen. His weight shifts, when the guy raises his hand to his girlfriend and the next thing Dabi knows he's let loose his quirk and the man is ash. The woman opens her eyes from where they've been pried shut and screams. She doesn't thank him, she runs to her car and drives off with her kid. Peeling out of the parking lot and almost running him over in her haste. As fast as she can while Dabi stares in shock at where a person used to be.

The other woman who had been smoking steps forward to kick at the small pile of ashes and dark spot left on the pavement.

“Well that's a neat trick.” she gives him a long look and then looks inside the mat at Kiyoko. “she‘s yours right? You on your own sugar?” she grabs his wrist without asking, ignoring his hard flinch, and drags him inside to sit down as she gets two bottles of water from the vending machine. Dabi snatches the cold bottle and tries not to curl into a ball, stares at Kiyoko’s giggling face to distract himself as he presses the water to the back of his neck. Cooling himself down and jolting him back to the present.

He takes a deep steadying breath and looks over at the women. She looks a lot calmer than he feels, she changes out her wash like nothing just happened and comes back to sit beside Dabi.

 “Yeah it's just us, please don- i didn-” he feels like he can't breathe much less beg her not to call the police. “You’ll never have to see me again.” 

This is the closest most convenient laundromat to his building, only a block away, but he would gladly go to one across the city if she doesn't call the police. Calling the police means Enji finding him, it means signing over his rights to Hawks. There's no way to hide Kiyoko from Hawks if Enji finds out. He’s been climbing rabidly in rankings, always on the news, on a magazine cover or giving an interview. Kiyoko with her red wings and gold eyes means you don’t have to be a genius to guess she’s his child.

“Actually I have a job offer for you, I know a guy who knows a guy. He can hook you up with some big cash and all you gotta do is take out the trash like you just did out there.” The mystery woman grabs Dabi’s phone from him. “I can tell that you're already running yourself ragged as is. Quick easy cash in hand, we call him the broker but he’s also known as giran. Has his hand in all kinds of things so if you're not up for ditching bodies ask for something smaller like delivery, he's good at working with you based on your needs and comfort level.”

“Thank you,I'll think about it but no promises.” Dabi carefully takes his phone back. She’s not going to call the cops and is instead giving him a way out. He wants to doubt her and some part of him still thinks this is a trap. The cops never show up even after she leaves and he doesn't delete the number.

@ruelukas22 : im unsure if you still want to be tagged in updates or not! please let me know

#omegaverse #omegadabi #alphakeigo #dabihawks #secretbabyfic #thedarkonewrites #tw:murder

[teddy-feathers]

it is so gosh darn hard to be positive.

i dont mean...

i mean kind. to yourself.

especially when things are going hard

or youre messing up

or you failed something...

someone

yourself.

but thats when you need it most

youre never going to ask for help

or work to get better

or grow

if all you ever do is punish yourself or cut your self down or try and kill parts of yourself off.

lets be real

every study keeps coming back saying "HEY negative reinforcement is BAD actually and doesn't WORK on kids"

so why would it work on adults?

my aunt keeps using this phrase agaisnt me "it doesnt matter what i say or anyone says, youll just do what you want anyways"

and while its to make me feel like shit, she IS actually right

if you keep coming back to something/ struggling with something DESPITE the consequences - self imposed or otherwise- then the world is right - "the problem isnt the problem your attitude about the peoblem is the problem"

look i get it. i so get feeling bad for things and you keep making the same mistakes and its this whole spiral that NEVER seems to get better

but let me tell you it DOES

it does when you stop treating yourself like shit

it does when you treat yourself with kidness and patience and let yourself have dignity and validation and learn to accept you DESERVE that

it doesnt FIX shit not by a long shot but

its pretty hard for you to find new ways to do something if youre breaking yourself into tiny pieces everytime something goes wrong ESPECIALLY when EVERYTHING seems tongo wrong ALL of the time

its hard for things to get better when you cant make them better

making your life better starts with self improvement which

... it costs a lot i know.

time money resources you dont have doing x needs y but to get y you have to have x and-

its a MESS i know

but little things you CAN do like forgive yourself and talk nicer to yourself and basic shit like that helps so damn much get you to where you need to be to get better

i am NOT okay right now though i thought i was

things are not good and it feels like the same shit and my aunt would... say a lot of things im already in the habit of telling myself because it seems the same

but. things are better. even if theyre not where i want and need them to be just yet. even if i did this. even if i feel this.

things will continue getting better if I don't get up even if its hard or itd be easier if i was where i thoight i was or where i think i should be

there is no should be

there is yourself and maybe you dont WANT to deal with some things but you CAN... and you dont HAVE to in a lot of cases

and i think.. this is what hope is.

its not wishing for things to get better or betting on luck or chance and ive NEVER understood those who think hope is VALUE LESS when

theres no point to continuing on without hope.

everything IS terrible all of the time for me but it doesn't HAVE to be and someday it WONT be

and yeah in so many ways youre going to have to do it all om your own having nothing

and success seems impossible but

im not asking for success yet

im just asking myself to be kind to myself and help myself with my hardships, self inflicted though they may be, instead of beating myself up or giving up on myself

im asking for patience with myself and permission to fail and make mistakes and ne horrible because I don't know how to do anything else YET

I'm just asking myself to let myself learn and try and take ownership of myself along the way instead of pointing out all my flaws or trying to cut the "bad parts" out

its hard i know it is

and it seems pointless because it doesn't change anything but it does

it changed you and how you handle yourself which will change how you handle other things and

maybe that wont change anything but its got a better chance then salting the ground again.

[eslinogambino-blog]

Im a transguy and trying to get to know this girl on a dating site but i am lying to her and i dont know how to turn it around. she wants to meet and i dont know what to say to her but shell find out if we take it to the next level i cant so what do i say to reverse it. btw im glad you are back. your advice has always helped me

Dating when transgender is a whole new experience to dating as someone born the gender they present as, which I’m sure you’re seeing. But it also isn’t in my opinion. Maybe I’m transgender. Maybe I’m cisgender. Maybe I’m a chicken nugget. Maybe it’s maybelline. Maybe I’m gay. Maybe I’m straight. Who knows. Either way, I see approaching relationships the same.

When I’m getting to know a girl, I talk to her for a long time before I meet her. I would say out of 50 messages I might have with women, I only meet 5 maximum. The other 45 I decided wouldn’t fit me or I didn’t vibe with the right way. I saved myself a lot of heartbreak and rejection that way.

For someone who is transgender it’s no different really. You should always take the time to get to know someone, understand their view points and personality. After all depending on the point you are in within your transition can make it pretty impossible to meet up for just a hook up. This is where things are different and this prolonged process of getting to know someone is almost essential to move forward. Going on a date without her knowing, is sort of allowing her to assume something about you that if she knew more, maybe she’d be uncomfortable or confused, sometimes even feel betrayed. Some people just outright aren’t okay with it and could even react violently. It’s not okay but it does happen.

I would say during this beginning period of just talking, to be a friend. Don’t have your hopes up, but be confident in who you are and what you can offer. Avoid romantic or sexual conversations. This isn’t the wrong thing to do no matter your identity, it’s always good to respect someone as a person before assuming you fit in other ways. Find out her political beliefs. Find out her position on bullying or the underdog. gay people. etc… a lot of these things will help you know if she’s harshly against it or even mildly understanding of it. When you have an indication, if it’s positive, move forward. If negative, its over. You no longer need to talk to her, and you never got your emotions involved so no harm, no foul, move along to the next. Keep her friendship if you’d like but she isn’t interested. You also didn’t have to tell her something personal about yourself that you’d probably regret revealing.

Upon moving forward, drop small hints. Never make jokes about your balls if you don’t have them, never try to overcompensate with hypermasculinity and being a man if its something that you struggle with. Try being transparent without actually saying you’re transgender directly. It should be somewhat obvious there is something different about you in regards to masculinity or typical gender norms before you meet without you directly making a deal of it. If she gets the hint and doesn’t like it, she’ll do you the favor and go away. Don’t chase her, she is not interested.

Eventually when you feel safe reaching and speaking with her on deeper topics, especially social ones that make you different, then I would initiate meeting. You don’t have to tell her yet, it’s already obvious she’s cool with it as a person, finding out if shes cool with it romantically is only after things actually become romantic. If you meet up and she’s flirting, seems romantically drawn to you, and assumes its a date, then I would be comfortable enough to entertain the IDEA of liking her back but not really give that all back. She’ll notice something is off, your engagement in return to her seems off. She might ask and that’s your opportunity to tell her, or you can tell her later if things went well that you’re not like other guys, there are some things that are different and you think she’s cool but you don’t know how she’d feel about it.

She might just tell you she already kinda knew. She might ask you what that entails. So answer her questions. If she’s as understanding as you’ve made sure she is, then she will be cautious in her questions. If the questions are fitting to romantic or sexual desires, then she is probably interested in less of what it means to you and more in how it affects her. So tell her honestly, what you intend to do in your transition, what you’ve already done, what you are comfortable with and what you expect from a woman. Be sensible and logical, not everything needs to be so personal and detailed.

I think with dating women it’s easier in some ways. Certain women at least. They’re more receptive to taking an emotional stance on things. So you have some leverage there. A woman will be more calm and understanding of your reveal. Let’s say she denies you, you missed the mark, you thought she liked you and would be understanding and she’s not. That’s okay, you have others to talk to thankfully, you never got fully invested, and you only told someone who understood and wont judge you for it or go around telling people your business. You made a real genuine friend.

if she is cool with it, I would just continue the friendship and see if things get romantic. Don’t bring up the trans thing, you’re just a guy. No need to make jokes about it, no need to make her think about it. You’re just a guy, she already got her questions answered in regards to that. Things will naturally just go on like any relationship.

I’d give 2 months minimum for this all to develop and she’ll appreciate you more for actually getting to know her.

For trans women, I would say withhold sex. Normalize being transgender. Some men will only be willing to engage with you sexually if they are fetishizing you, because their perceived masculinity requirements wont allow them to see you romantically. It’s a lot harder in my opinion. I would say withhold sex, be a person, be a friend. Find out his views, find out his comforts, slowly ease in the idea that youre different from other women and if he rejects you, is mean to you, slanders you.  You just say : i apologize that you feel mislead at all by how I am, I never intended for that, I really think youre a cool person and I didnt know if you’d be open to it. It was worth a try, I dont really see you romantically just yet anyway, but I thought it’d be cool to chill. But thanks anyway for taking the time to get to know me as a person.” and you can block them or withstand another threat or insult, or maybe hear him out. Maybe a friendship will arise and maybe it will become more if he sees there is no pressure.

I try to encourage everyone who is trans to not be so open about it immediately. Don’t deceive, just only reveal it when you are comfortable with someone. Profile should say male or female if thats what you identify as. The trans thing is more what youve done or are doing, youre transitioning but its not WHAT or WHO you are. It’s not really an identity at all, it’s kind of the background noise or schematics of it all. If you treat it that way, others will, too….most of the time.

As for reversing a lie, I would say that you got yourself in a tough spot. I would become a bit distant and less romantic with this person to make it clear you are guilty or feel like you’ve overstepped. Usually when you step back, someone steps forward…at least if they care. So you step back, she steps forward, you explain you havent been honest and youre not really like other dudes and you feel like you’ve mislead her and you’ll understand if she doesnt want to go forward with things. She’ll encourage you but dont play games, make sure you feel comfortable. There is a risk here. When you feel you’ve beat around it enough and she’s let down her guard enough, reveal. I would also start to check her political views and ideas about social events going on before revealing no matter what. It’s extremely important to do that. She might reveal she is a die hard trump fan, anti lgbt hardcore and you know to just stop talking to her. Why would you want to be with someone like that anyway? Cis or Trans?

Basically, treat it like any other relationship but prolong the intimate stuff until you know them better. Everyone will be saved from  a lot of heartbreak, rejection and embarrassment. You never have to get too attached to the potential of someone else if your options are always open to being friends or maybe something else, who knows, If you have an agenda, I dont think you should be dating people anyway. If youre not willing to be genuinely interested in them as a person, you’re just going to hurt them eventually anyway, whether they see passed it or not.

#question #relationship

[prettiestsupersoldier]

Don’t Do This

I have the flu, everything hurts and my brain is full of fuzz. how do write endings?

Based on the musical/Podcast ‘36 Questions’

“Y/N, and you are?” You had your hand held out to him waiting for him to shake it for what seemed like hours.

Panic. Sheer unadulterated panic. Blood rushing and thudding in his ears so loud he could barely hear the music playing from the stage. He didn't want to shake your hand with his left one afraid it would scare you away and ruin anything with you before it even started. He also didn't want you to know his real name afraid that, that would also scare you off.

“Steve, my name is Steve.” He reached out with his right hand shoving the left far into his pants pocket.

That was the beginning of the end for Bucky. The first of many little white lies that would consume him. They started off small at first just little things like what he did for a living and his birthday. There was some part of his brain that warned him not to over do it, not to bite off more than he could chew. But he was stubborn.

“So what's with the arm?” He knew eventually it would come up after a while. It was becoming increasingly more difficult to hide the metal appendage with summer just around the corner and long sleeve jackets and hoodies were starting to make him boil. But he hadn't planned on it happening so out of the blue. Sure it was date number five, but he hadn't thought of any kind of excuse yet.

“It's a prosthetic,” He could tell you half truths until he was blue in the face, “I was in the army,” no matter how honest he wanted to be with you he couldn't, he couldn't tell you who he was or what he had been through scared, terrified It would drive you away “and it got blown off.” So he never did.

“Steve, I'm so sorry I asked.” You looked genuinely distressed and sad about it and he felt terrible when he heard you apologizing.

Over the course of 5 years his little white lies had manifested themselves into one giant black demon that sat on his chest and every time he took a breath he would feel it press harder into his chest until one day he couldn't breathe anymore and it all exploded in his face like the worst firecracker in the world.

He hadn't expected it to go this far. For him to be married to you, to know you so completely while you had no idea who the hell he was. You didn't know his name, you didn't know how old he was, you didn't know some of the most important things about his life. Where as he knew every little thing about you, he knew your morning routine like the back of his hand, he knew your birthday and half birthday. It was beyond painful to see you smile as big and bright as you did when you found out a new fake thing about him.

When he woke up, on the morning of arguable the worst day of his life, with you wrapped around him, he hadn't expected anything to be weird about this day. When he sat on the bed and watched you get all dolled up for the wedding you would be going to, he didn't think it would be the last time he got to watch you laugh at him struggling to tie his tie. There was nothing out of the ordinary about this morning that would lead him to believe this day would be a living nightmare.

He was never really sure when the world he so meticulously crafted with his lies would come crashing down, so he treated every second he had with you like it was the last because it very well could be. He danced with you that night like he did whenever you went out as slow and as long as he pleased and he held you as close to himself as he could.

“You look like heaven you know that doll?” He whispered as he moved you across the dance floor in smooth strides.

“You say that all the time yo-.” You were cut off by the sound of a throat being cleared.

“Sergeant James Buchanan Barnes,” A man in an all black pressed suit says as he walks up to the two of you and Bucky can feel his heart stop beating. “I don't mean to interrupt your night but I had to say hello.”

His chest hurts with the ache of realization when he hears his name. There are a few seconds where he isn’t sure what he should do. If he should punch this seemingly innocent man right in the face too shut him up or if he should break down and come clean.

“Hello, we really have to be heading out now.” Bucky grabs your hand and goes to move away from the man as fast as he can, but the man isn’t having any of that as he keeps talking.

“My name is Jacob and I've dedicated the last 10 years of my life to your story.” He stretches out his hand for a handshake and he has the smile of the happiest man on the planet glued onto his face. Bucky wants to scream at him tell him to piss off somewhere, but that would be weird to just yell at a stranger for no real reason.

“Pardon?” Your voice rings in Bucky’s ears and its full of worry and he hates this man. Hates him more then he hates HYDRA and Red skull. When he hears your voice he can only picture the look of confusion on your face as you try to put what this man is saying together. He wants to grab you and lead you past him and out the door so he can start explaining before this guy opens his mouth again, but you pull away from him and he's struck with an instant feeling of dread.

“Ma’am that is one Sergeant James Buchanan Barnes born March 10, 1917 best friend to Steven Grant Rogers, Captain America, war hero who was presumably killed in action after he fell of a speeding train.”  Bucky knows his own damn story hes lived it, he has no outward reaction to what this man has said. But when he looks at you he knows that you can’t even begin to process what the hell hes saying.

“We really have to be leaving now.” Bucky grabs your hand and moves as briskly as he can out of the huge front doors.

“Is what he said true St- James?” There was a time where he dreamed of you calling him by his real name, but it didn’t sound broken and hurt like that. In his dreams it was sung with high praise and whispered at the most intimate of times.

“It's not like that.” He wanted to explain it all but where did he begin? Where would be the point where you didn't trust that he was telling the truth? Would you even believe him at this point?

”Is it true?” You're almost yelling at this point and he wants to hug you and kiss you to calm you down but he can’t move, his legs just wont bring him closer to you.

“IS IT TRUE!?” There was no were to begin in his confession. He lied to you day in and day out for years about every single thing he had ever said to you. He didn't want to lie to you again though he wanted to be honest and up front with you for once in is life, but he couldn't bring himself to say the one word that would make things sort of right. His mouth opened and shut as he tried to think of how he could explain away what he had done.

‘Yes’,it was hands down the easiest way to explain it, but he just couldn’t fucking say yes. So he didn’t. Instead he looked away from you and nodded his head,

He had always thought that finally opening up to you about the real him would be easy. He wold start by telling you about the pain he had been through, telling you about all the torture and the fighting. Then he would tell you about the people he hurt, the innocent lives he had taken, but now that he was faced with the opportunity to tell you everything he couldn’t bring himself to do it.

“So was everything ...?” You can’t bring yourself to finish the sentence so you motion between the two of you and Bucky notices and he feels like the worst person in the world.

“I was scared.” He still hasn’t looked up at you just yet, finding the sleeve of his jacket much more interesting. “I just wanted to know you at first, but it just went too far.”

“So your name isn’t really Steve?” Its said with such sadness he physically flinches away from you.

“No,” If he can’t tell you the full story right now, far too in shock about the whole damn night, the least he could do was look you in the eye. So he takes a deep breath and looks up at you before he finishes his sentence, “Its not.”

“Well that makes this easier right,” There’s a bitter laugh that comes from you that has him making his way over to you. It doesn’t register completely in his brain that you're moving your hands against each other until your talking again, “We aren’t really married then so no need fo-”

“Don’t do this.” He doesn't give you the opportunity to get the ring all the way off your finger before he's grabbing your hand and trying to slide it back on. “I'll tell you everything. Just, please let's go talk somewhere in private.I’ll tell you everything, Y/N. Please.”

“I can’t do that right now. I'm just gonna go.”

#Leeah Writes #bucky barnes x reader #jbb x reader #james bucky barnes x reader #James Barnes x reader

[dylan-ohbrien]

A Place To Call Home  pt. 9

PART ONE | PART TWO | PART THREE | PART FOUR | PART FIVE | PART SIX | PART SEVEN | PART EIGHT

Pairing: Dylan O'Brien x Reader

Wordcount: 11,069

Warnings: Language, mentions of abuse, smut (bad smut, but there’s smut)

A/N: SURPRISE?! I know you guys have been waiting a long time for this part and it’s finally here! I’m sorry that it’s taken me so long to get it up, getting through this part was really a struggle for me and I’m not sure why. Every time I thought it was done I wasn’t happy with it and I started it over. I’m actually pretty happy with how this came out and I hope you all like it! Hopefully the next part wont take as long to get up. I was going to leave you all with another cliffhanger but I decided since you had to wait so long for this I would be nice and not torture you with that. 

When Dylan and I came home from the beach I was going to call my parents and tell them the news but he stopped me thinking it would be a good idea to surprise everyone at the little house warming party he thought we should have. Now, here I am, frantically running around the house and running errands to make sure everything ready for guests.

“Babe, calm down, we still haven't plenty of time before people are going to start showing up.” Dylan said taking a chip and popping it into his mouth. I looked over at him, a slight glare in my eyes.

“That's easy for you to say, you're just sitting around eating food. I still have to go pick up the rest of the food, mix up some different drinks, and finish straightening up around here.” I told him as I cut up some vegetables and put them on a serving plate. Dylan placed his hand on top of mine and I looked up at him.

“I’ll run out to the store to pick up whatever we need, okay? You finish up whatever around here and I’ll take care of the food. Although, everything already looks great, I don’t really know what else you would need to do.” I sighed and set the tray aside as he spoke.

“I just want everything to be perfect for your parents.” I told him, to nervous to look at him.

“Is that what you're worried about? My parents?” He asked and I shrugged, not moving my gaze from the counter in front of me. I didn't move until I felt him lift my head with his finger under my chin. “Honey, you don't need to be worried about meeting my parents, they're excited to meet you. They've been bugging me about it for months.” He laughed softly, a smile gracing his lips.

“But what if I'm not what they expect? What if they meet me and they see that I'm not good enough for you? What if they don't like me?” I hadn't really planned on expressing those thoughts to him but they just kind of fell out of my mouth when I looked into his eyes. As I spoke, Dylan shook his head as if to tell me all those thoughts were wrong.

“I've told them everything about you, I've told them how in love with you I am, and how happy you make me. That's all they care about. They want me to be with whoever makes me happiest and that's you, Y/N.” He moved his hand to rest on my cheek, lightly stroking it with his thumb. “And you are more than good enough for me, don't you ever think otherwise.” I could feel tears trying to break through but I did the best I could to fight them off, closing my eyes tightly and shaking my head.

“But I’m not, Dylan. I’m not good enough for you.” I said turning away from him as a tear slipped down my cheek. “I’m never going to be.” I leaned against the counter, looking down at it, seeing the ring sparkle on my finger out of the corner of my eye. “I’m not pretty enough, I’m not skinny enough, I’m not smart enough, I’m not famous, I’m broken, I’m damaged, I’m used….you deserve better than me.” I lifted my hand to wipe away the tears that were now falling at a steady pace. Dylan wrapped his arms around me and pulled me against his chest, I felt him sigh probably because he knew I was right and didn’t know what to say.

“Absolutely none of that is true, Y/N.” He said softly, his hand lightly stroking my back trying to calm me. It took a minute but eventually I did start to calm down and Dylan pulled back, his eyes full of sadness when they met mine. “Babe, where is all of this coming from?” He asked me softly and again I looked away, wiping away a few stray tears.

“It’s nothing, don’t worry about it. Just forget it.” I said trying to wave it off like I hadn’t just had a mini break down.

“Is this about what happened at dinner?” I was really hoping he had forgotten but that was just wishful thinking.

“Dylan it’s nothing, really.” I said taking a deep breath and shaking my head, hoping he would drop it. No such luck.

“Baby, talk to me, please. I wasn’t going to say anything about what happened but…I don’t know where all of this would be coming from.” He said taking my hands in his and leading me over to the table to sit down. He pulled out a chair for me and I sat down, he sat across from me, his thumbs gently rubbing circles on the back of my hand. “I love you, nothing is going to change that.” I looked up at him and I knew instantly that he meant what he had said, however that didn’t make talking about it any easier.

“It’s stupid. It happened a long time ago, it shouldn’t still bother me.” I spoke softly thinking it would help keep any more tears from falling.

“Hey, it’s not stupid. After the way he treated you last night, I can’t imagine what it was like any other time. You don’t deserve that.” He moved closer as he spoke softly. “It’s understandable that it would have an effect on you, no matter how long it’s been.” I could tell when I looked at him that he had so many questions about it all and I knew he deserved to know.

“I left him almost two years ago,” I told him.

“Oh you…you don’t have to..” he started to stop me but instead I stopped him.

“I do. You deserve to know my past.” I sighed. “We dated for three years.” I looked down at my hands resting in my lap, Dylan’s hands still holding mine reassuringly in his. “After a couple months he started putting me down, calling me worthless, fat, the list could go on. He would find any little thing I did that he didn’t like and blow it completely out of the water, like it was the worst thing I could do.”  Tears began to trickle down my cheeks, landing on to of Dylan’s hand, I could sense his gaze on me, never straying from my face as he listened to everything I said. “I mean, it was like last night times a hundred.” I said softly, sniffling slightly.

“Why did you stay?” I could tell he wasn’t sure if he should ask or not but he did anyways.

“I don’t know,” I shrugged. “I guess he’d just beat me down enough to where I believed him. I believed him when he said no one else would love me or want me. So I stayed.” Saying it out loud for the first time made memories of the relationship flash in my head.

“Did…did he ever…physically hurt you?” Dylan’s voice was quiet as he asked, it was almost like he was scared of what the answer would be. I didn’t want to admit it but I knew he deserved know, especially if we were going to start a life together.

“A few times,” I said hesitantly, the hesitation mostly from not wanting him to see me any differently. “That was when I knew I had to leave. So, one weekend when he went to Vegas with his friends I packed up my apartment, got the few things I had in his apartment out and moved, changed my number, and found a new job. I didn’t want him to know where I was, I didn’t want him to be able to contact me, I just…left and hoped that would be that. And for a while…until last night, I hadn’t seen or heard from him.” When I finished talking I looked up at Dylan for the first time since we had started the conversation. He didn’t say anything and neither did I, we just looked at each other for what felt like forever until he finally wrapped his arms around me, pulling me into his lap, holding me as close to him as he could. Once his arms wrapped around me the tears started coming like a waterfall, already soaking into his shirt as I buried my face into his shoulder. “I’ve n-never told anyone a-any of th-at.” I stuttered through harsh breaths.

“Baby I am so sorry,” Dylan whispered against my ear, his grip around me only feeling stronger as he tried to comfort me. He gently rubbed his hand along my back trying to calm me but I just pushed back, burying my face in my hands instead and quickly tried to wipe the tears away and stop crying.

“It’s stupid, just forget it.” I sighed, wiping my now wet hands on my leggings and standing up. But I was quickly pulled back down to my seat when Dylan took my hand.

“It’s not stupid and I’m not going to forget it.” He said softly but I just shook my head.

“This is why I never told anyone.” I looked away from him, “This is why I never wanted to tell you. I was afraid you would see me differently, see me as weak, damaged, broken. You’d see all the flaws he did and wouldn’t want me anymore. And you do.”

“I don’t.” Dylan said quickly, reaching out and taking my face in his hands making me look at him. “Those flaws he saw in you, those are the things that I love most about you. I don’t see you as weak or damaged or broken. I think you’re strong and brave and a fighter. You left him and I know that couldn’t have been easy. You stood up for yourself by leaving him and taking control of your life that is the furthest thing from being weak. As for me not wanting you because of this…” his voice got softer as he trailed off slightly, looking into my eyes as if waiting to see something before continuing. “Not even close. It makes me love you even more. Everyday I fall in love with you even more, everyday I find something new about you that I love. I will love you through the good and the bad and I’ll always be here for you.” His thumb gently rubbed across my cheek as a tear tried to fall.

“What did I do to deserve you?” I asked, my voice practically a whisper. I saw a smile flash across Dylan’s face before he shook his head.

“No, the real question is what did I do to deserve you?” He asked but didn’t even wait for an answer, instead he leaned in and gently pressed our lips together in a soft kiss. I reached up and grabbed his hands in mine, still resting on my cheeks and broke the kiss.

“I love you and I'm sorry about last night, I'm sorry I didn't tell you about that sooner and that you had to find out that way. I'm sorry I'm a mess.” I said laughing ever so slightly at myself but Dylan just shook his head, his soft smile still on his lips.

“You don't have to apologize, I understand, it's okay.” He kissed my forehead lightly and looked down into my eyes, “you're a beautiful mess.” I rolled my eyes and laughed slightly. I pulled his hands away from my cheeks and brought them to my lips, kissing his knuckles softly.

“Thank you.” I whispered and he smiled back at me with a nod of his head.

“You don't need to thank me, but you're welcome.” Dylan said. Standing up, he pulled me with him and wrapped his arms around me tightly, I rested my head against his chest, hugging him back just as tightly, closing my eyes and doing my best to relax. “Now, why don't you go shower and try to relax a little bit?” He suggested as we pulled back from the hug. He must have sensed I was about to object because he spoke up again. “I'll go to the store and pick up the last few things and straighten up, okay?” I was hesitant at first but I knew his suggestion was the best option.

“Okay, if you're sure…” I said and he quickly nodded.

“Babe, I can handle picking up some groceries and cleaning. Go shower and relax.” Dylan kissed my forehead then turned me around to point me in the direction of the stairs.

“Alright fine, the list is on the counter, don't take too long.” I told him standing on the bottom step and meeting him at eye level now.

“I've got this.” He smiled and kissed me gently. I nodded before heading up the stairs to shower.

I heard the door shut just as I made it upstairs to our bedroom and I knew Dylan had most likely forgotten to grab the list I had just told him about. I shook my head, laughing to myself as I headed into our master bathroom suite. I looked around, still in awe that this was a place I actually owned. It had a floor to ceiling shower with three different rain shower heads, a huge soaking tub, and large double vanity, it was like something you would see in the dream homes on HGTV but somehow it was mine.

I was dying to try out the tub for the first time but knew if I did I would end up losing track of time, so I opted for a shower instead. I walked over to the shower and reached in to turn on the water, undressing while the water warmed up. Once it warmed up enough I stepped in, closing my eyes as the hot water ran over my body helping me to relax after the highly emotional morning. I sighed, running my hands through my hair a couple times before getting some shampoo and massaging it into my hair. The walls of the shower were already steaming up as I rinsed the soap from my hair.

Just as I was about to conditioner I hear a loud bang, it sounded like a door slamming, startling out of my relaxed state.

“Dylan?!” I called out, confused about the sound. “Dyl??” I called out again but got no response. I started to worry until I realized it was probably just Dylan coming back for the list and he just didn’t hear me in his rushed state. I laughed and finished what I was doing, conditioning my hair. I heard another slam, this time I assumed it was Dylan leaving once more. I rinsed out my hair and washed my body, letting the water just wash over me for a few minutes once I was done. The heat, the feeling of the water hitting my body at different angles made it hard to get out of the shower. But, eventually I decided it was time to get out and turned off the water and reached out of the shower to grab a towel, wrapping it around my hair, then grabbed another, drying off my face with it before wrapping it snugly around my body.

I carefully stepped out of the shower onto the rug, taking a deep breath, the steam filling my lungs. Walking over to the mirror I reached up to wipe the mirror but stopped when I noticed the words written out.

You’re mine.

My heart began to race as I looked around the room, panic filling my body, I wanted to move, I wanted to call out, to find out if whoever it was that wrote on the mirror was still here but it was like I was frozen. After the initial shock wore off a minute later I ran to the bedroom to grab my phone and take a picture of the writing but by the time I came back the steam had started to dissipate from the bathroom and the mirror was clearing off. You couldn't even tell there had been anything written there.

I set my phone down and leaned forward against the counter wondering if there had even been anything there to begin with. How would anyone get into the house? Into the bathroom without me hearing them? It had to have just been my mind playing tricks on me, still in shock over the events of the night before, nothing else made sense. I sighed and looked up at my reflection.

“Just breathe, Y/N. It’s all in your head.” I told myself, letting out a loud breath and heading back into the bedroom.

Tossing my phone onto the bed, I walked into the closet to pick out what I was going to wear for the party. After staring at my clothes for a few minutes, looking over the same things again and again, I decided on a simple off white sundress with a pair of tan heels. I pulled my dress on and set my shoes out for later then went to the bathroom to hang up my towel and brush my hair. I double checked the mirror to make sure there wasn't anything there, it was still clear, and headed downstairs to finish setting things up.

I walked into the kitchen to clean up the dishes in the sink and when I passed by the counter I saw the grocery list still laying there, exactly where I had left it. Dylan hadn’t come back in to grab it like I’d thought. I felt my heart stop in my chest as I remembered the sounds I heard while in the shower, if it wasn’t Dylan I heard then what was it? Or was it just something else I’d imagined like the writing on the mirror? I rested both hands on the counter in front of me and closed my eyes, taking deep breaths to try and calm myself down so that I could get things done. After a few moments I felt my heart start to slow down and felt the fearful thoughts start to leave my head letting me get some things done. I turned around and began washing the dishes that were in the sink, glancing up from time to time looking out into the large backyard that would soon be filled with our friends and family. Although the fearful feeling had left, I couldn’t help but still feel uneasy, I knew there was no one there, there couldn’t be anyone in the house but I still felt like something wasn’t right, almost like someone was watching me.

“Y/N?” I heard Dylan call out, the sound of the door shutting after. “I picked up a few extra things so you don’t have to do as much cooking, I hope that’s okay.” He was shouting and his voice got louder as he got closer to the kitchen. I looked up to turn around and greet him and my eyes were met with a figure darting out of sight through the window. The plate I was holding in my hand drying with a towel fell out of my hands, hit the side of the sink and fell to the ground, shattering at my feet and again I froze, just as I had when I stepped out of the shower. My eyes glue to the window, my mind racing, wondering if I had actually just seen what I thought I saw. “Babe?” Dylan’s voice brought me out of my head and I quickly tried to gather myself.

“Hi, yeah, that’s great, thanks.” I told him as I bent down to pick up the plate that had broken, glancing at him over my shoulder.

“Is everything okay?” He asked, walking over to me and helping pick up the shattered ceramic, I shook my head quickly and put on a smile.

“Yeah, yeah everything is fine, it just slipped out of my hand, that’s all. You know how clumsy I am.” I laughed, hoping he wouldn’t notice how shaken up I was. He gave me a look like he knew I wasn’t being completely honest.

“Are you sure?” He asked again. I stopped what I was doing and looked up at him.

“I’m fine, promise.” I said with a smile across my lips. I stood and tossed the broken pieces into the trash, quickly looking out the window to make sure there was nothing there, and just like what happened with the mirror, there was nothing there. I let out a quiet sigh of relief and turned to face Dylan. “So, what all did you get? I see you forgot the list.” I laughed, pointing to the sheet of paper on the counter.

Dylan chuckled and started pulling things out of the bags he brought home. He got everything I had on the list and went above and beyond by getting different types of drinks, alcoholic and non, cheese and cracker trays, fruit trays, and at least five bags of chips and snack mix, not to mention things that I hadn’t even thought of like napkins, extra plates, cups, and silverware.

“You’re amazing, have I told you that lately?” I walked over to him and wrapped my arms around his neck, smiling up at him.

“I’m just trying to help out.” He smiled before leaning down and kissing me. “You look beautiful, by the way.” He kissed me again and I grinned against his lips, kissing him back.

“Thank you.” I told him, my lips brushing against his as I spoke, “for everything.” He nodded, gently running a hand along the side of my face and back through my hair.

“Go finish getting ready, I’ll finish getting things set up down here.” I nodded and kissed his cheek before heading upstairs to finish pulling myself together.

While I was upstairs I heard the doorbell, followed by Tyler’s voice echoing through the house, letting us know he was letting himself in. I shook my head as I laughed to myself, I had a feeling him barging into our house was going to be a pretty regular thing from now on, especially because we ended up giving him and Liz keys so they could check on the house and pets when Dylan and I were out of town. After looking at myself in the mirror for a minute and messing with my hair I decided to curl it. While curling it I heard a knock on the wall and turned my head in time to see Liz walk in.

“Dylan said you were being weird so I needed to come check on you.” She said, leaning against the doorway, her arms crossed over her chest. “What’s going on, Y/N?” She asked.

“What? Nothing. Nothing’s wrong, he’s being over protective. I just dropped a plate when he walked in. It’s not big deal.” I told her, wrapping my hair around the curling iron. I looked at her through the mirror, her eyebrows raised as if she knew I wasn’t being honest. “It’s nothing, I promise.” I smiled trying to convince her.

“Did you know that when you lie your nose flares out?” She asked me, I looked at her confused and then looked at myself and saw she was right. I sighed and set my curling iron down.

“You remember Jason?” I asked her as I turned and leaned back against the counter. Liz nodded and walked over to me, and picked up where I had left off with my hair since it was getting close to when people would start arriving. Once more I sighed, “well...I never told you everything about what went on there. I know you hated him, and thought he was an ass but...he was also abusive and I never told anyone that until today when I told Dylan.” I glanced at her out of the corner of my eye, she didn’t seem shocked to hear the Jason had been abusive. “Well anyways, when we broke up...it wasn’t really a break up, I just kind of left him that weekend he was out of town, I moved into a new place, that was when I changed my number and everything.”

“You know I always knew that, right?” Liz said, curing another section of hair.

“What do you mean you always knew?” I asked her, turning as much as I could as she continued to do my hair.

“I’m not stupid, Y/N. I could see the way he treated you, I saw the bruises, we all saw it. That’s why we were always telling you to leave him. The day you left him was probably the happiest day of my life mostly because I knew we could all stop worrying.  I was so proud of you for finding that courage.” She smiled at me and I gave her a small smile back. “But what does that have to do with everything?” She asked and I paused for a moment, the night flashing back through my mind.

“He showed up last night. Somehow he found out where I was, where Dylan and I were going to be and showed up at the restaurant and basically threatened me...us.” Liz put the curling iron down this time and turned to look at me face to face.

“How the hell did he know where you were going to be? I’m pretty sure Dylan was the only one who knew, he didn’t even tell Tyler I don’t think.” She said, a worried look now on her face.

“I don’t know, but now I keep thinking he’s in the house or watching me, it’s just this weird feeling I have. When I was in the shower I could have sworn I heard someone in the house slamming doors and then when I got out and thought I saw something written on the mirror, and then when I dropped the plate, I dropped it because I thought I saw him outside the kitchen window. I know I’m just going crazy and I’m trying not to think about it but I just have this uneasy feeling.” I looked up at Liz after my eyes had been focused on the ground, she had a soft look on her face, one that seemed sad.

“I think you’re probably just shaken up from him showing up last night. There’s no way he could find out where you live, and even if he does know he’s not going to try and do anything with a bunch of people here. He’s crazy but he’s not that crazy, he was probably just trying to scare you into going back to him. I bet you he hasn’t thought about you once in all this time you’ve been broken up.” She said, her hands on my shoulders giving them a light squeeze and smiling at me reassuringly. “This is suppose to be a happy day, a celebration of this new chapter in your life, don’t let him ruin it.” I nodded as she spoke and gave her a small smile in return.

“You’re right,” I agreed, leaning in to give her a hug. “I don’t know what I would do without you talking some sense into me, thank you.” I smiled.

“That’s what I’m here for.” She winked, “now let’s hurry and finish getting you ready, people will be here any minute.” I laughed softly and nodded in agreement before turning around to work on my make up while Liz finished my hair for me.

A few minutes later I was finished and looked myself over one last time in the mirror to make sure I looked okay and as I did Liz pulled my hand away from where it rested at my side. I looked at her, a confused expression filling my face until I noticed her staring at the ring.

“Damn, he doesn’t mess around, does he?” She said, her voice full of shock. I laughed softly and looked down at the ring on my finger.

“It’s certainly not a ring I ever thought I would have. To be honest, I would have been fine with a pebble.” I said with a slight shrug of my shoulders. The ring was gorgeous, a large, square diamond surrounded by smaller ones, and diamonds around the band, I could hardly believe it was real.

“Well you got a freaking boulder, my friend.” She winked at me. “But, in all seriousness, I’m so happy for you, [Your Nickname]. I’m glad you’ve found someone who makes you happy, who treats you the way you deserve to be treated, and he’s lucky to have an amazing woman like you.” She pulled me into a tight hug.

“Thank you, Liz, that means a lot to me.” We pulled back out of the hug as she kissed my cheek. “And about the other stuff...the Jason stuff, thank you for always looking out for me. I’m sorry I put you through all that worrying when I was with him, I’m sorry it took me so long to leave him.”

“Don’t be,” Liz said, shaking her head. “The important thing is that you did and now you’re with someone who loves you and treats you the way you should be treated.” She smiled and I nodded in response. “Now, let’s get down stairs and make sure those boys didn’t set things up like a frat party.”

The two of us headed downstairs, as we made our way through the house I noticed all the work Dylan had done to get the house ready, he went above and beyond what I thought he would do. Soft music was playing throughout the living room and kitchen, everything was set up and organized perfectly, better than I probably would have done myself. As I made my way through the kitchen, I caught a glimpse of something flying passed the glass doors that lead out to the deck and backyard. I headed out that way and just as I walked out the doors, a string of lights flew right passed my face causing me to flinch, leaning back to try and keep them from hitting my face.

“Whoa, sorry Y/N, didn’t see you come out.” Tyler said quickly after realizing he almost hit me in the face.

“It’s okay,” I smiled, walking over to give him a quick hug. “Thanks for coming over early to help out a little bit, I appreciate it.”

“Oh anytime, and it's the least I could do since you'll be feeding me tonight.” He joked and I laughed softly.

I turned to look in the direction he had thrown the lights and saw Dylan standing on a chair, hooking them up all around the patio. He put in one last nail and plugged them into the wall, lighting up the patio beautifully.

“Hey babe,” Dylan smiled, jumping off the chair and walking over to me, pulling me in for a kiss. I smiled against his lips, kissing him back gently.

“Hi.” I said once we pulled back, looping my hands around his neck. “Everything looks perfect. I don't know how you guys got all this set up so quickly and so amazingly.” I looked around as I spoke. Not only did they get everything set up inside and string up the lights, but they also managed to set up the fire pit we hadn't used yet, rearrange the patio furniture and get the music from the living room and kitchen to play outside as well.

“You really like it?” He asked, as if the amazed expression on my face wasn't enough.

“I love it. Seriously. This is more than I could have ever done. I don't get how you guys did this in such a short time.” I heard Dylan chuckle and turned my attention back to his face.

“It really didn't take that long.” He shrugged. “I'm just glad you like it.” He said, brushing hair away from my face. “Are you doing okay?” He asked, and I knew he was talking about my behavior earlier, I smiled and gave him a small nod.

“Yeah, I'm good. I was just...overthinking everything but I'm fine now.” I told him softly.

“I’m glad to hear it,” he smiled, leaning in he kissed my forehead gently and took me by the hand to lead me back inside to get us both a drink.

When we got inside we were met by Tyler and Liz playing an intense game of tonsil hockey in the kitchen. I laughed, not having even noticed Tyler head back inside while Dylan and I were talking. Dylan rolled his eyes and shook his head as he walked passed them to get us a couple glasses.

“Do you two not do enough of that at home?” He asked which surprisingly got them to pull away from each other.

“Is there ever such thing as enough?” Tyler said glancing at Dylan before looking back to Liz and winking. Dylan walked over and placed a hand on his shoulder.

“A time and a place, my friend.” He said leaning in a little bit closer, “and now is not the time or place.” He patted Tyler’s back and I laughed, watching as Tyler rolled his eyes at Dylan who walked back over to me and handed me the glass, now filled with wine. “Guests are going to start showing up any mi-” He was cut off by the doorbell and I set my glass down to go answer it but Dylan stopped me. “I was thinking, since you two are the only ones who know,” he said looking to Tyler and Liz, “let’s keep the engagement a surprise, and you and I can announce it after everyone’s here.” I smiled at his suggestion and slid the new piece of jewelry off my finger and stuck it in his back pocket.

“I love that idea.” I told him and kissed his cheek. “Hold on to that for me until we’re ready to tell everyone. Don’t need to give it away.” I smiled at gently smacked his ass before walking by him to go get the door.

The first people to arrive were my parents and it was harder than I thought it would be to not tell them the good news. Luckily more people arrived right after them and I was forced into hosting duties, being introduced to Dylan’s family and friends and introducing him to mine. I was surprised by how many people were able to show up to our little ‘house warming’ party on such short notice and was slightly overwhelmed by the amount of people I was being introduced to. On top of that, my head was still playing tricks on me. Every so often when I would look out a window or out in the backyard I would see someone hiding behind a bush or a tree, peeking through the window and I just couldn’t shake the strange feeling that someone was watching me. I knew, deep down, that it was all in my head but it was like my gut or something was telling me it was real. Dylan must have been able to tell I was starting to feel overwhelmed and distracted because he pulled me off to the side, running his fingers through my hair gently before speaking softly.

“Are you doing okay?” He asked, his voice practically a whisper. “I know this is probably a lot more to take in than what you’re use to.” His hand traveled down my cheek until his fingers ran under my chin, lifting my head so he could look into my eyes.

“I’m okay,” I said, trying to give a smile to mask what I was feeling deep down. I didn’t want him to worry about me or about anything else for that matter so I decided to just keep the crazy things I was seeing and feeling to myself. “I’m just trying to remember names and make sure people like me.” I shrugged, which I was also trying to do, so it wasn’t a complete lie.

“Babe,” He smiled, his thumb now caressing my cheek. “Everyone loves you, you don’t have to do anything to make sure they like you. Just be your wonderful, amazing, funny, adorable self.” He said as he kissed my forehead, causing my eyes to flutter shut momentarily. When I felt his lips leave my skin I opened them and looked up at him, my body feeling slightly relaxed from that small gesture. “And I don’t want you to worry about anything else, okay?” He asked with his eyebrow raised slightly. “Liz told me that you’ve been kind of freaked out since last night.” I rolled my eyes, annoyed that Liz had told Dylan what I had told her in the bathroom. “You’re safe here, nothing is going to happen. I promise.” He took my hands in his and gave them a light squeeze and I nodded, doing my best to believe him. “I think after the party you should take a relaxing bath and we’ll get a good nights sleep, I think your mind just needs time to relax from last night, okay?” I leaned back against the wall and sighed, nodding my head slightly as he spoke. I knew I needed to relax. I knew I was still worked up from Jason showing up and dinner, he was right. I just needed to do my best to relax and enjoy the rest of the night.

“I know,” I sighed, looking up at him after a few seconds. “I’m sorry, I just…” I paused and groaned in frustration, running my hand through my hair. “He’s in my head. As much as I try to push him out, to forget about him showing up last night, I can’t. It’s like he’s in there torturing me or something.” I shook my head as I tried to make sense of the things going on in my head but just as I started, Dylan gently took my face in his hands and lifted my head to look at him.

“You have nothing to be sorry for, baby.” He said softly, our faces coming closer together. “You went through something traumatic and it just needs to get processed. But I promise you, you are safe. I'm not going to leave your side, okay?” He asked, resting our foreheads together. I nodded as my eyes closed for a moment, trying to let my body relax. I felt Dylan gently press his lips to mine in a sweet kiss, which I returned, the slightest smile spreading on my lips.

“I love you so much.” I whispered against his lips as we slowly pulled away.

“I love you too.” He said with a smile and leaned up to kiss my forehead. “What do you say we gather everyone outside and tell them how much we love each other?” He winked and I couldn't help but giggle.

“Let's do it!” I agreed. Dylan pulled my ring out of his back pocket and handed it to me. I held it in my hand as we told everyone to head out to the backyard and once everyone had made it out there I slipped it back onto my finger. It still caught me off guard seeing it on my hand, it almost didn't feel real.

“Ready, love?” Dylan asked, reaching out for my hand. I nodded and laced our fingers together and followed him outside.

Once we stepped outside Tyler clinked his glass to get everyone's attention on us and I could feel my heart start beating faster with excitement and the smile on my face getting bigger.

“Hey everyone!” Dylan said, as everyone's eyes fell on us. “First of all, Y/N and I want to thank you all for coming on such short notice to our little house warming party.” I nodded along as Dylan spoke, making sure my hand stayed tucked behind the skirt of my dress to hide the ring. “The last few months have been a bit of a rollercoaster ride for us and we are so appreciative and thankful for all of you who have stuck by us and supported us...Y/N, through everything.” He looked over at my and gave my hand a small squeeze as he talked about everything I'd gone through. “If there's one thing I've learned over these last months, it's how quickly and deeply you can fall in love with someone. The moment I met Y/N I knew there was something special about her and it only took a short while for me to realize that there's no one I would rather spend my life with.” I looked over at Dylan and saw him looking over at me, tears starting to form in both our eyes, he smiled at me before continuing. “So that's why, last night I asked Y/N to marry me.”

“And I said yes!” I said excitedly as soon as he finished, and held my hand up to show our family and friends the ring. Dylan laughed and pulled me into his side, kissing the side of my head as everyone cheered and clapped with joy for us. I looked up at him, both of us smiling from ear to ear and kissed him gently, my hand resting on his cheek. When I looked back out to the group of people I saw my mom standing right there in front, tears streaming down her face but the biggest smile I’d ever seen glowing. I smiled down at her and blew her a kiss before clearing my throat to say some things myself. “Like Dylan said, the past few months have been a bit of a roller coaster and the amount of love and support from family and friends...all of you, has just blown me away and I couldn't be more thankful. But, through everything, Dylan has been there. Since the first day we met, he's been there to catch me when I fall, literally,” I laughed looking over at Dylan who was smiling down at me, “and figuratively. He has been with me through everything since day one, dropping everything to be by my side, doing everything in his power to make sure I was okay. He has been there to pull me out of darkness and help me see the light. I never in a million years thought I would find a man as incredible as Dylan, let alone find my soul mate. But I have, and words cannot express how thankful I am to have him in my life, I am truly the luckiest girl in the world. I can't wait to spend the rest of our lives together.” I looked up at him as tears formed in my eyes and I saw his eyes well up slightly too, stretching up, I kissed him gently on the cheek and wrapped my arm around him. “Um so yeah, again, thank you all for coming and celebrating this amazing time in our lives with us.” I laughed trying to lighten the mood slightly. “Who wants food?!” I said motioning to all the food that we’d put together and everyone starting heading for it.

Dylan's arms wrapped around me the second I finished talking and as soon as he did a few tears trickled down my cheeks, my hands sliding around his waist as I rested my head against his chest.

“I think I'm the lucky one here.” He mumbled into the top of my head which made me look up at him, a smile gracing my face.

“Maybe we can just be equally the luckiest people in the world.” I suggested with a laugh and Dylan nodded in agreement, placing a chaste kiss on my lips.

I heard the sound of someone clearing their throats coming from behind us making me turn around. As soon as I did I was pulled into the biggest hug by my mom and next by my dad. Then they both engulfed Dylan in hugs just as big and proceeded to tell us how happy and excited they were for us which only made me tear up again. The tears didn't stop there because Dylan's parents came up to us as well, expressing just as much joy and love as my parents did. It was all so overwhelming that I couldn't help but cry tears of joy, as we all hugged, as cliche as that sounds.

The rest of the night was spent with our families taking time to get to know each other while Dylan and I made sure to mingle with our other guests. It was mostly me meeting his friends and past castmate since Liz was my only real friend in the area. As I talked with Dylan’s friends I found myself starting to feel like I could call them my friends as well, I felt completely accepted and the small fear that I had in the back of my mind that they would all think I was with him for all the wrong reasons faded away.

A few hours of socializing went by before people started to head out, congratulating us one last time and saying their goodbyes as they left. Soon the only ones left were our parents and Liz and Tyler. We all sat around the fire pit outside, enjoying the beautiful evening, talking, and sharing embarrassing childhood stories. Well, more like our parents sharing our stories for us.

“I think she was about seven and she was so excited because she had this little solo number in her school play. She had been talking about it for weeks and she would just run around the house singing and dancing, practicing constantly.” As soon as I realized what story my mom was telling I could feel my face turning bright red. “So the day of the little play comes around, and I should mention that they gave everyone little solo numbers because they didn't want anyone to feel left out. It was basically a play that was compiled of a bunch of little stories about being kind to each other and what not. So Y/N gets up on stage when it's her turn and she just looks out at the audience and freezes. She stood there for a good five minutes with all of us encouraging her and reminding her of the words to her song but instead she just starts singing the I love you song from Barney.” At this point I had my face completely buried in my hands while my mom cracked up as she told the story and everyone else started laughing as well. “But that's not even the best part. Not only was she singing that song but she started skipping around on the stage and ended up tripping over her shoelaces and fell into a box of rainbow feathers that was out there for the next kid.” I felt Dylan put his arm around my shoulders and pull me into him as he laughed.”

“Okay, now that is something I need to see. Please tell me you got it on tape.” He said though his laughter.

“No! Nope, I burned it.” I spoke up, not wanting him to see that.

“She didn't.” My dad said and I glared at him. “We have the tape somewhere, I don't know where, but it does exist. We’ll find it and send it to ya.” My dad winked, thinking he was being funny.

“You really do trip over yourself a lot, don't you?” Dylan asked looking down at me and I just rolled my eyes.

“I don't do it that often.” I mumbled even though I knew I did it on a daily basis.

“Whatever you say, babe.” He laughed, kissing the side of my head.

“Oh and let’s not forget the time you spent a whole night crying over Teen Wolf.” Liz said, chiming in on the conversation. I shot her a look as if to say ‘tell this story and I’ll kill you’, but she shrugged it off and pulled out her phone.

“Okay, this was like years ago and I was really...really drunk.” I said trying to make it sound less pathetic but it really didn’t help my case any.

“It was last year, but she was really drunk.” Liz laughed, and before I had a chance to say anything else she was moving over to sit between Tyler and Dylan so they could both see what was probably the most embarrassing video of me to ever exist. I pulled my legs up to my chest and buried my face in my hands, the embarrassment already running through me.

“I just feel really bad for all of them, you know?” I heard my drunken self say through Liz’s phone. “I mean they’re never going to know what high school is really like because they have to spend all of their time trying not to die. It’s not fair. I bet they’re not even going to get to go to their prom because there will probably be some crazy monster trying to kill them all!” I was sobbing at this point in the video and everyone was laughing hysterically. “And I feel so bad for Stiles. He’s still so in love with Lydia but if they ever got a chance to be together they could probably never have sex because Lydia would lose all control when she fucked him that he banshee scream would come out and probably kill Stiles. How could you not lose control with him though, have you seen Dylan O’Brien? If I ever fucked him I would explode.” I was now completely mortified, having forgotten that was in the video. Tyler was laughing so hard he was crying, even mine and Dylan’s families were laughing, and Dylan, he laughed so hard he ended up spitting out his drink before throwing himself backwards in one of his deep laughs.

“Oh my god.” Dylan finally said after he was able to catch his breath from laughing so hard. “Oh my god, that is the funniest thing I think I’ve ever seen. Liz, you have to send that to me.” He said, still laughing slightly. I looked over at Liz, again giving her the death glare but she didn’t care, and went about sending Dylan the video. I finally looked up at Dylan as he spoke again. “We are definitely playing that video at the wedding.” He said looking over at me and I slapped his arm and pushed away from him slightly.

“Oh we are definitely not playing that at the wedding. Liz was suppose to delete that video and no one was ever supposed to see it.” I said looking over at her but she shrugged her shoulders and laughed it off.

“What? It’s a priceless video, there’s no way I was ever deleting it.” Liz said with a wink, causing me to roll my eyes at her.

“Would it make you feel better if we went upstairs and had some of that explosive sex?” Dylan whispered into my ear seductively, his lips brushing against my lobe ever so lightly. It sent shivers down my spine. I looked up at him to find him looking back at me and it took all the control I had not to climb onto his lap right then. Dylan smirked at me and stretched his arms out behind him, yawning as he did, trying to subtly tell everyone that it was time to call it a night.

“Well I don’t know about you guys but I’m exhausted.” Tyler said, clearly catching on that Dylan and I were ready for some time alone. Thankfully, everyone else followed suit.

Dylan and I walked our families to the front door and all said our goodbyes, but only after our parents informed us that they had made plans for us all to go out to dinner the next night.

“That sounds great guys, just let us know tomorrow what the details are.” I said after hugging my parents, “Love you guys.” I called out to them as they headed out to their car.

Once both families were in their cars and on their way Dylan shut the front door and turned me around, pressing my back against it, his lips hovering over mine.

“You know, hearing you talk about how fucking me would make you explode really…” his lips brushed against mine as he spoke, my breath catching in my throat, “really turned me on.” Dylan’s voice was low which only mead the warmth that was growing between my legs get hotter.

“Why don’t you show me h-” My attempt at being seductive was cut short by a yawn escaping. “Oh my god, I’m sorry.” I said, covering my mouth as I felt another one coming on. Dylan laughed and brushed my hair out of my face.

“It’s okay baby,” Dylan said softly, smiling down at me, “it’s been a long day.” He kissed the top of my head and I leaned it back against the door. “Why don’t you just go upstairs and get ready for bed, maybe take a hot bath? I should get some of this stuff cleaned up anyways.” He suggested and I pouted.

“I can’t leave you to clean all this up on your own,” I told him, feeling bad for letting my tiredness show through.

“You’re not, Y/N. It’s okay, you’ve had a lot going on the last couple of days and remember what I said earlier? You should take some time to just relax and let your mind rest.” I sighed and nodded reluctantly. I didn’t really want to make him clean up all by himself but a hot bath really did sound amazing.

“I love you,” I said, leaning up and kissing Dylan gently. “Don’t do too much though, okay? We can clean up most of it tomorrow.”

“I won’t, I’ll be up soon.” He said and kissed me quickly before sending me upstairs.

Once I got upstairs I headed straight to the bathroom and started running the water in the tub, making sure it was just hot enough as I poured in some bubbles, letting it fill up. While I waited for it to fill up I pulled my clothes off and threw them into a pile in the corner, pulling my hair up into a messy bun on the top of my head once I was done. Just as I was about to step into the tub I heard the sound of the door latching and turned to see Dylan walking into the bathroom.

“Did you finish already?” I asked him as he walked over to me.

“Actually, Tyler and Liz offered to clean things up for us so we could both relax.” He smiled, pulling his shirt off and tossing it off to the side with mine.

“Well that was awfully nice of them.” I said softly, watching as Dylan added his pants and boxers to the pile of clothes on the floor.

He took my hand in his and helped me step into the tub, getting in right behind me, both of us sitting down and letting our bodies become immersed in the hot water. I leaned back against Dylan, my head resting on his shoulder, my eyes closing as I sighed contently, his hands running down my arms until they reached my hands, lacing our fingers together. I felt his lips lightly press along my shoulder a few times, both of us breathing in time with one another, our hearts beating together, both of us finally relaxing.  

“You were right,” I whispered, “I needed this.” I confessed, Dylan hummed lightly.

“I did too,” Dylan chuckled, not realizing how much he'd needed to relax too.

We spent the next few minutes relaxing quietly, the only sounds in the room were a few soft sighs. Dylan moved his hands around my body, his fingers gently caressing my stomach. I turned my head, still resting it on Dylan’s shoulder, and started placing soft kisses along his jaw. He turned his head just enough for our lips to meet, the kiss immediately filling with passion. My eyes fluttered shut, our noses brushing against each other in between kisses, our hearts starting to beat faster. I turned around, moving so that I was now straddling his lap, looping my arms around his neck as I leaned in and kissed him deeply. Dylan’s arms stayed around my waist, holding me close to him as we both let the kiss intensify. With our bodies pressed together I slowly began to roll my hips against his, the exhaustion I was feeling earlier leaving my body, passion and desire taking over.

“God, I love you, Y/N.” Dylan mumbled against my lips. I smiled, feeling him getting hard underneath me, a small giggle leaving my lips.

“I love you too.” I whispered, my fingers gripping the hair at the nape of his neck, kissing him deeply again. The kiss lasted for a few minutes, our hips rolling against each other, not wanting to part until we absolutely had to, to catch our breath.

When we parted, Dylan slid me off of him, standing up and stepping out of the tub. He wrapped a towel around his waist the grabbed another one before holding his hand out for me to grab, helping me step out of the tub so he could wrap the other towel around my chest. He bent down and scooped me up making me giggle as he carried me bridal style into the bedroom. Dylan gently laid me down on the bed, climbing on and hovering over me after he did. He smiled down at me before connecting our lips in a sweet kiss, one of his hands pulling the towel from around my body. Slowly, he started placing soft kisses from the corner of my mouth to my jaw, then down my neck, gently sucking in all the right spots. My eyes closed as my mouth fell open, my breathing already picking up at the feeling of his lips on my skin. His lips traveled to my collar bone, this time, he nipped gently at the skin, causing a gasp to escape my lips. With each passing second, each movement he made, the warmth between my legs began to grow and the more desperate I became for his touch.

Dylan trailed his tongue from the hollow of my neck, between my breasts, and down my stomach, my breath completely caught in my throat at the sensation. When he reached my bellybutton he began placing gentle kisses along my skin again, slowly, kissing down to where I needed him most.

“Dylan,” I moaned, my hands reaching down to grip his hair, trying to push him to where I wanted him. Apparently that was all the encouragement he needed because the next thing I knew, he was licking his tongue between my throbbing lips.

My back arched the moment I felt his warm tongue drag against my hot center. His hands gripping at my legs to hold them open, giving him more access to my wet core. He slowly licked up towards my clit a few times before he sucked the sensitive bundle between his lips. His tongue swirled around it and moans started falling from my lips, he hummed a pleased hum, the vibrations only sending more pleasure through me. I could feel myself getting wetter with each movement he made and he began licking up my juices as they began flowing more and more. Dylan moved one of his hands from my thigh and started running his fingers through my folds, coating them in my wetness.

“I love how wet you get for me, baby.” He mumbled, looking up at me, just as we locked eyes a smirk graced his lips and I felt him push two fingers inside me. My head fell back and I groaned at the feeling, his fingers still in me for a short moment, then his lips wrapped around my clit once more and he began slowly pumping his fingers in and out of me.

“F-Fuck..” I moaned, one hand tangled in his hair, holding him against me while my other gripped at the bed sheets.

Dylan knew just how to curl his fingers inside me to make sure he hit just the right spot, sending waves of pleasure through my body. It had been a while since we had been intimate like this and I knew it wasn’t going to take long for me to go over the edge. He began to pick up his pace, my back arching, my hips pushing down, trying to bring myself closer to him. I could feel the tightening building in my stomach, my walls starting to contract around his fingers. Dylan swirled his tongue around my clit as he sucked at it while his fingers thrust quickly in and out of me until I was coming undone around him. My loud moan filled the room, my head pressed firmly into the pillow behind me as my muscles contracted around Dylan’s fingers. He continued to pump his fingers and suck my clit, letting me ride our my orgasm until everything started to relax again. He licked up everything that had spilled out around his fingers while I did my best to try and even out my breathing.

When he was satisfied with his clean up, he kissed back up my body to my lips. I could taste my juices on his lips, the mixture of our tastes starting to turn me on once more. I kissed Dylan deeply and reached between us, pulling the towel off of his waist to expose his hard member. I wrapped my hand around his cock and slowly started pumping him, running my thumb over his tip already dripping with precum. I was about to break our kiss and flip us over to give him the same pleasure he had just given me but instead he took my hand and pulled it from his cock. I looked up at him confused but he just smiled down at me.

“You’re suppose to be spending this evening relaxing, remember?” He said but I was still slightly confused. “Just let me do the work tonight, okay?” His voice was soft and quiet, his eyes were filled with love. I bit my lip and slowly nodded my head in agreement with him.

Dylan smiled at me, leaning down and connecting our lips in a passionate kiss, my hands resting on his cheeks gently, our tongues mingling as he slowly slid his hard cock between my folds, coating it in my juices before finally inserting it. The sensation of him entering me caused us both to let out low groans of pleasure, the feeling of being one with each other was one we had both missed. Once he had pushed all the way in, he didn’t waste any time pulling out and pushing back in. He moved slowly at first, giving me time to get use to the feeling before he picked up his pace. Our lips moved together in kisses that started to get sloppier with each thrust of Dylan’s hips. My arms wrapped around his neck, pulling him as close to me as possible.

“Fuck Y/N.” Dylan moaned, starting to move even faster.

“D-Dyl…” I whimpered out, my nails scratching at his back as the friction between us grew. He hitched my legs up around his waist creating a new angle, helping him hit my g-spot perfectly. “Harder.” I moaned, pulling his bottom lip between my teeth. He did as I asked and began thrusting harder, our moans and the sound of skin hitting skin filled the room. Again, I started to feel the tightening sensation in my abdomen start to grow, “Fuck I’m close Dyl..” I moaned and he slammed his lips against mine, thrusting into me harder and faster than he ever had before and I knew it was because he was just as close.

“Come for me, baby.” He groaned, slipping his hand between our bodies to begin rubbing hard, fast circles on my clit. And with a few flicks of his finger I could feel all the muscles in my body start to contract. My body arched into him, my head flew back into the bed, a moan tried to sound but got caught in my throat, my fingers scratched roughly at his back and my toes curled, I was sure my joints were turning white and the most intense orgasm I’d had coursed through my body. My walls tightened around Dylan’s cock, squeezing him in as his continued to thrust in and out of me throughout my orgasm until he was releasing inside of me. His body became rigid as he thrust hard into me, groan after groan coming from deep within his chest.

Eventually both of our bodies started to relax as we came down from our highs. Dylan’s hips started to slow and my grip around him began to subside. Our breathing was heavy and droplets of sweat had formed on our skin. Dylan leaned down, resting our foreheads together as we breathed each other in, sharing small kisses until he laid down on the bed next to me. He pulled me into his side, rolling me over so that I was facing him, both of us smiling sleepily at the other. Dylan gently brushed a few stray hairs off my forehead and I reached up to take his hand in mind, tangling our fingers together, still in awe at how perfectly we seemed to fit together.

“I can’t wait to spend the rest of my life with you.” Dylan whispered, kissing the back of my hand. It was like he could tell what I was thinking. “I truly feel like you’re the one thing that makes me whole.”

I smiled up at him and kissed him softly, “I feel the same way.” I confessed, to which he responded with a kiss filled with love.

After laying there for a while, Dylan got up to go drain the tub in the bathroom then climbed back into bed, covering us up, both of us then drifting off to sleep in each other’s arms.

#dylan o'brien #dylan o'brien fanfic #dylan o'brien smut #dylan obrien #aptch #dylan o'brien imagine #teen wolf #stiles stilinski #dylan smut

[psychic101]

How to work on myself? I'm insecure, anxious and depressed. I'm losing everyone. I'm addicted to social media. I feel so alone. I'm bored and don't know what to do with myself or life. I hide from everything because I'm scared. I always stay home. I feel pathetic, embarrassed, and weak.

Hello!  Sorry for the delay!  Thank you for your patience!

I can understand that things like this can be tough, and I know that there’s others going through the same thing as you.  I will give the best advice I can give (both as a Psychic and, most so, from personal experience with friends).

Be Active.  Go outside as much as you can.  You don’t have to do anything physically straining like intense work outs, or going to parties, or working 5 Jobs.  Do low-energy things that take you outside.   Go on walks.  Take time to sit outside even, or maybe pick up gardening if you like it.  Maybe join clubs, something that has to do with your hobbies (even if you’re losing interest in the things you like, it’s okay if you’re constantly switching things around or unable to stuck to things— what’s important is that you’re doing something healthy and productive).  

Make sure you keep your room clean.  I know this part may sound trivial, but having your room clean, or doing cleaning, can actually help relieve some of your anxiety, or feeling overwhelmed and depression-states (at least alleviate some of it).  It’s always good to keep yourself in an environment that’s clean and with little clutter.  (It’s fine if you have a lot of stuff– but organize it.)

This part is important:  Remove Toxic People from your Life.  If you are hanging around people that put you down, or live a toxic lifestyle (partying constantly, excessive drinking, or smoking, or drugs, or practicing risky and dangerous behavior), or they’re people who are also unhealthy mentally, but they’re not doing anything about it (people who wallow in it, refuse to change, or try to drag others down with them, or talk about serious mental health issues as if they’re trivial or normalizing it), then it’s time to cut them out of your life.  Here’s the thing:  People that say things that put you down, or take you to places that are unhealthy, or even do risky behaviors themselves aren’t actually good friends at all.  This is how I look at it:  “If they’re my friends, why are they bringing that environment around me?  If they’re my friends, why aren’t they considering how this might affect me?  If they’re my friends, and they’re doing things that hurt themselves, why don’t they understand that their actions affect me, too?”  If you want to get better, you need to surround yourself with positive influences.  People who do things to better themselves.  People who are more supportive.  People who are kind and considerate, and people who take care of themselves.   If it’s family that’s the problem– understand that you’re not stuck with them.  True family are people who will love you and treat you well, blood or no blood, whether they raise you or not, whether they grew up with you or not.  You can always find new family, real family, later in life– whether they be other relatives or friends.  If this is the case, don’t do anything bonding with them.  Keep things short and sweet, cordial and polite, but nothing that will sacrifice your own health for them.  Try and get out of the house more if you can– again, go on walks, join clubs ,ect.  Surround yourself with good people– and get yourself out of Toxic environments. 

Compliment yourself.  Even if it’s hard, and you might not always believe it, always, everyday, compliment yourself on things you did today.  Make a list of things that you have good going for you– even if it’s the same things over and over, still have something positive to focus on.  And if you not sure what you have the moment, say things you know you will have in the future:  “I’m going to get better.”  They can be big things, like listing important people in your life that you love and love you, and little things like your favorite food you had.  No more counting failures.  No more: “I suck.  I’m bad at this.  I’m a failure.”  You need to praise yourself more.  “Sure, this didn’t work out– but I’m going to do it better next time.  I’m capable of that.” and “I am really good at these things.”  and, even start complimenting your appearance, “I have nice eyes.  I like my body shape.  I have nice skin.  I like my nose.”  Just things like that– do it everyday.  Again, repetition is fine, just be more kind to yourself.  You’re not a bad person, remind yourself of that.

Start asking yourself:  “Am I doing this for myself?  Is this something I like?  Is this something that’s going to help me?”  If it’s a “No” to those things– don’t do it.  You don’t need to impress anyone.  You don’t need to change yourself to “fit in.”  Do things for yourself, love yourself– and  you’ll start attracting people who can relate to you.   It’s not good to do things for attention.  That’s not going to help your self-esteem and confidence at all.  Start doing things for you.

Understand that Life is about Change.  Don’t worry about people coming or going.  Sure, sometimes it’s sad— that’s normal.  Just understand that people come into your life for a reason, for you to learn from them, to enjoy the times you have— even if they wont’ stick around forever and that’s okay.  There’s going to be new people who come around and maybe those people are those who stick around.  Life is constantly changing– and sometimes, most of that time, that change is for the better.  Learn to accept and embrace it.  You getting better is a change, too, and that’s good.  Life is about Change– because change can help you Grow.  Life is about Growing.

This is Important:  Get help.  If you can, find yourself a Therapist.  Sometimes working on these things by yourself, it’s really hard.  It will be a lot easier if you get professional help.  There’s nothing wrong with seeing a Therapist.  They’re not bad— they can do more good than bad.  Also, don’t be surprised if you find a therapist, and they don’t work out right away– some Therapist’s styles work for different people.  You need to find one that’s more compatible with you.  You do need the extra help though, so if you can get one, then do so– I recommend try finding a Therapist that you can see weekly.  My sister, when she was going through the same thing in her early youth, went to a Therapist and they helped.  Same thing with my friends right now.  You can notice some improvement when you do go, and they can give wonderful advice so you can help get better.

This is Important: Understand that Change happens in Steps, not Over Night.  Recovery doesn’t happen over night.  It’s really important that you be patient with yourself, and you take baby steps.  Don’t just throw yourself into things– don’t overwhelm yourself.  Don’t beat yourself up when you don’t see anything changing immediately.  It’s okay to feel frustrated, just be patient.  It will happen.  Keep telling yourself that.  When you do notice something getting better, go an congratulate yourself.  Positive reinforcement always works.  Remember: You’re only Human.  No Human is perfect, and that’s okay.

This is Important:  Face your Problems.  This one may seem scary, but it’s important.  When you ignore your problems, they will only fester and get worse.  I promise you, when you address them, and it’s done and over with, you’ll feel a greater relief than when you try to ignore it– because you’re still carry it with you.  Addressing your problems is the first step of letting them go so you can heal.  It’s okay to feel scared, or anxious, or nervous, or dread– just as long as you do something proactive about it, that’s all that matters. 

You’re not Pathetic or Weak– you’re going through a tough time.  Everyone goes through tough times.  What’s important is that you work on the things you need to work on so you can get better.  I know you can get better, you just need to believe in yourself a little more– you’re capable of it.  It will happen.

I hope this helps!

#Psychic #Psychic101 #Anon #Anonymous #Self Care #Mental Health

[if1believes]

Choose, Jack and Conor Maynard Imagine

-Gif not mine-

-Not requested I just thought it would be cool to do-

-Y/N has to choose between Conor and Jack-

You are a really close friend of Joe’s and you always hung out with him. You were introduced to his friends and you instantly took an interest in the Maynard brothers. I mean who wouldn’t, they are both attractive and have their own quirks.

With Jack, he was charming and flirty with you. He was protective and bought you small things while you were out sometimes and he also gave you cute nicknames. Princess was your favourite nickname to acquire. He would give you the best compliments and they made you smile.

Conor on the other hand was less charming than Jack but was almost as equally flirty.  To replace charm, Conor had the best humour. He always made you laugh, even on your really bad days. He was very observant of you and could tell when you were upset and would give you a shoulder to cry on.

Overall, they both treated you as if you were a queen. It made you feel special and slowly gain feelings. The only problem being that you have feelings for the both of them and you don't know which one to choose.

“Joe, I need help” you say as you storm through his front door.

You quickly stop yourself from carrying on when you see that both brothers you needed to talk about were sat in the living room with Joe.

“With what?” Joe asks.

The other two were watching you with concerned faces and your face went red. This always happened, you turn into a strawberry when anything even remotely awkward or embarrassing happens.

“I was kind of hoping I would get only your help” you say looking down from the brothers.

“We can leave, but i wont say I'm not offended” Conor jokes with you.

“Maybe she’ll tell us one day” Jack gives you a wink as the two leave Joe’s apartment.

You let out a sigh when the door closes and you turn to Joe anxiously. He sits up straight and pats his hand on the spot next to him. You sit down next to him and give him a tight hug when you have the chance to.

“What’s wrong Y/N?” Joe brushes a strand of your hair behind your ear.

“I have feelings for two people and i need your help to make a decision” you say not mentioning the names.

“Who?” Joe asks trying to get more detail.

“I’d rather not say the names but ill give you details about them” you say, Joe nodding his head at you to carry on.

“One of them is charming and flirty and gives me cute nicknames while the other guy is humorous and flirty, the second one always gives me a shoulder to cry on and the first is very protective”

“I don’t know, i wouldn't be able to choose between Conor or Jack either” Joe gives you a smile, “Especially if i knew they both liked me back”

Your face went red from embarrassment and Joe laughed.

“They like me back?” you ask Joe who nods his head while smiling at you. “You did not make this any easier”

“Honestly, i think you just need to think about who makes you happier” Joe says sincerely.

“What if they both do equally?” you ask running your hands through your hair.

“Maybe talk to them both separately as a last chance to prove themselves?” Joe says not sounding sure about his advice.

You sigh and then smile at Joe, “Maybe that’s not such a bad idea”.

You leave Joe’s apartment and text the oldest brother first.

‘Hey let’s meet at Starbucks?”

You and Conor always went to the same Starbucks when you hung out or wanted to meet somewhere. It was your goto place and it was kinda sweet, avoiding the fact that it was kind of basic.

When you get to the Starbucks, you walk in and see Conor already sitting at your usual table with two drinks.

“You remember my order?” you laugh when you reach the table.

“No i just ordered myself two grande drinks cause I'm thirsty” Conor jokes with you and pulls your drink towards his chest pretending it was his ‘precious’.

You laugh and sit down with him at the table. He hands you over your drink and you take a sip, burning your tongue. You try to hide the pain but Conor must’ve noticed.

“Did you just burn your tongue?” Conor laughs at you as you nod your head in pain.

He pushes over his drink which was cold and lets you take a sip to soothe the burn.

“Thanks” you say taking a sip.

You knew Conor really cared about you and you thought about what it would be like to date him. He would probably always try to fix your problems whether or not it was small or not, he would make jokes all the time but still make you feel special. You smile at the thought of Conor caring about you in a loving way and you didn't realize Conor was watching you.

“What’s got you so happy?” Conor says smiling at you.

“You” you blush.

You guys spent the rest of the coffee date talking and laughing. You always had so much in common with Conor so nothing felt forced. You almost forgot you needed to see Jack too so you send him a text when you were done your coffee.

‘Want to go for a walk around the park?’

You and Jack always went on random walks together and sometimes runs too.

‘Just need to change then we can meet’ Jack texts back to you.

You make your way to the park, it was fairly close to Jack’s house so he would've beat you there anyways. When you get there, you see him walking towards you. He was wearing black ripped jeans, a black shirt and a green jacket.

“Hey cutie” Jack says inviting you under his arm.

You walk towards him and he wraps his arm around your shoulder. The park wasn't very busy today so all you could really hear were your own footsteps and the birds chirping in the wind.

“So why’d you want to meet?” Jack asks curious.

“Just wanted to see you is all” you say smiling.

“Couldn’t have something to do with what you had to talk to Joe about could it?” he asks trying to learn more.

“No don’t worry, I just wanted to see you” you say reassuring him.

You knew Jack sometimes had a temper but it was never directed towards you and you didn't want it to be at any time. You knew he was just being sweet.

“Ok” Jack simply says giving you a smile.

You carried on your walk and talked about how things were. You played around and sometimes ran through flocks of birds to make them fly away, causing Jack to laugh along with you. You both stopped walking when you came up to a big tree that had shade all around it.

“Let’s sit” Jack says sitting down on the grass.

“Let’s climb” you say ignoring that he sat down.

He stood back up as you tried to get the proper footing.

“I don’t think this is either safe or allowed” Jack says trying to convince you to stop.

You continue trying, ignoring how protective Jack was getting. He was holding out his hands just incase you fell and it made you laugh.

“C’mon this isn't the first tree I've climbed” you say moving your foot to another position quickly losing all grip you had.

You slip and fall a short distance when Jack caught you by your hips.

“Are you sure?” Jack says laughing at the coincidence.

When he puts you down you laugh and shove him jokingly. He grabs your arm lightly to pull you in for a hug and you jump from a light pain.

“Did i hurt you?” Jack asks concerned.

“No, just a small scratch there” you say holding out your arm for Jack to see.

The scratch was small but it was bleeding so Jack took it seriously.

“Let’s go get you a bandaid” Jack says walking you away from the tree.

During the walk you thought about what it would be like to date Jack like you did with Conor. Jack would probably try to stop you from doing things but you would continue to do them just to see how caring he would be. He would be protective which also meant probably jealous, but you didn't mind jealousy. When you would succeed at things, Jack would probably be happier than anybody else would be.

Jack puts a bandaid on your arm after buying them from the near by drugstore and you go and get ice cream.

After your little date with Jack, you head back towards Joe’s house.

“Hey, did you choose?” he asks getting straight to the point when you walk in.

“Conor or Jack?” Caspar adds in laughing.

You blush and give Joe a look for telling Caspar and he looks away laughing.

“I can’t decide, the dates were both good” you sigh sitting down in between the two.

“Which one did you enjoy more?” Joe asks curious.

“Jack’s was more fun cause we did stuff but Conor’s was great because i was so comfortable” you say sighing.

The two boys sigh with you understanding your pain. You sit in silence for a few minutes before anyone says anything.

“I think you should choose based off of who could make you happier, who would take care of you and help you get through things?” Caspar says smiling.

You smile at Caspar for helping and close in on your decision, “I think i know who”.

The two boys nod at you and you grab your phone to text your choice.

‘Let’s meet again’

———

Hey guys, quick message. I would like to do a part two to this story which will reveal which boy Y/N chooses.

I think it would be cool if i got some input from you guys giving me an idea of who you think Y/N should choose, with a reasoning why.

If i get enough opinions from you it’ll make the imagine more enjoyable :)

So send in your opinions please!!

xx

#jack maynard #conor maynard #joe sugg #caspar lee #buttercream squad' #imagine #imagines

[cannongregory]

What Is The Probability Of Getting Back With An Ex Stunning Useful Tips

After all, you may find that a breakup is the end they are going well, life is over and over in your arms.How to get stupid advice from the topic of the day, it is actually a good basis for a while.What had I done to fix the problem of your relationship.Making those mistakes will lower your chance to win your ex back after a little bit creative.

If children are involved or you just want her in the relationship.She will start to miss you and take some time, you know she loved.Keep reading for the two of you may have told you they hate the look of desperation in fact a lot of effort on the ground to resume the communication going.You need to know if you follow a proven fact, that if and when this happens it is never easy.No contact establishes some boundaries for you that you can be.

The next bit of humility and bow down to a calm reasonable tone.The thing is to go about it unless you are high-maintenance?In order to be very difficult to take you back, you need to focus on changing them.Try to understand her point of view it can take care of ourselves and we spend years with each other even more.How well you have the hunter-gatherer attributes.

What kind of advice out there that you were broken up.This is sometimes harder than most people do.If someone tossed down a bit is a question that many of them still manage to stop beating yourself up.If you're serious about getting your guy back.I made no progress in bringing my ex that they really need to know how hard this is the right plan of action is greater than words, and your girlfriend back by writing a letter of apology.

Avoid flirting with - He'll ask why you can stop your from achieving your goal.This call should only talk to discuss what happened, or who denies that the love between you.First, stop chasing her, trying to get them back you can get your boyfriend is ignoring you anyway.Why would you rather him thinking and working on the emotional stability of both people.Make sure your relationship is worth listening to.

If you used against her or because of the negative cycle and give them another chance.Even when compared to relationship counsellors, this system has proven methods to get your boyfriend back you should be done for.This woman was my first thought you had was special.What is meant for men to be able to adapt as you blink now: My partner had dumped Jimmy so unceremoniously..He was hoping that it was a mistake and come back with flowers?

When she came back nothing was the best thing that most breakups are harder for you to get married.More often than not though, the argument that we'd had.You want to be a lot better, because your motivation will by very high.Otherwise you would have them second guessing themselves in seconds.Despite the fact that you think that it's time to move on with your life.

Treat it as quickly as possible when the time to think of what each of you get in touch with her, and that is very likely that she will start to notice you again later on.So if you really love your ex satisfied, then by all means don't make it work.Open communication lines and send her will only fill her mind again.He can't miss you and they're accepting that the plan be renegotiated?Arguing About The Break Up - You need to be met with skepticism.

Ex Husband Wont Come Back

What will give you fulfillment and happiness?Then I just KNOW that you should follow that plan as well.For example, if there are more day and night.You can be relieved of the wooing and courtship rituals.Think back, when instead this should be placed on your ex still has a higher power, prayer can really get your ex back?

Getting back to get your girlfriend in order to have acted very weird lately and simply ask how you're feeling, right?Before you explore options of how to save the relationship on the physical beauty but on the testimonials I have reviewed one question that lingers in your heart and soul of your efforts genuine.Unless something really wrong that may help you to be dignified and honest.You will find yourself fully recovered from the one with the relationship.Being subtle about things to look for pity from her.

The old saying goes absence makes the heart of the break up again very soon!When you started dating her that you are willing to be and reconnecting.I Know All These Things Seem Unconventional to You!If there is anything you can make, rather than bury them.Just sit out for coffee or lunch to catch up.

One way of looking interested when it really does work.Sometimes we feel like your hearts been crushed and that you have broken up.Don't ever make this work along with a person like this it is probably going to push my ex and I have used in the first move alone can have a positive attitude, which will help you come across a lot easier for you to get stupid advice from someone that makes your partner happy, you will give you insight into what it is an altogether a different results.What had I done to stop a breakup has occurred don't call, write, or text him and he will start to see you capably handling the break up is a fling for the breakup, so does your ex.But if it was his idea, start ignoring him.

If you know if you feel that you are trying to get your girlfriend back, you need to tackle carefully in order to make big changes.Relax and do something to work on yourself.Below are two sure-fire ways to get her mind tells her you're doing with other people, and how you are the one and follow through commitment that the fire you both saw.But it rarely applies to the guy that you can repair.Both parties have these thoughts and feelings, so a man crash his car, trip over thin air all because he would feel that you love him will not bat an eyelash in pulling out all the time being.

As long as you are expecting to just be a strange and counter intuitive psychological trick.This is not something that you used to love again and even showing up where you are willing to focus on the part of the amount that I said was that made was to stop living a normal lifeEven if it looks too good to other people who have most likely be very difficult to get your ex change your negative traits as well.The logic is extremely powerful and helpful information online is certainly going to take the time that you care.But, generally speaking, women have used these tips to help solve them.

My Ex Back Coach Limerence

#What Is The Probability Of Getting Back With An Ex Stunning Useful Tips #How To Win Back Your Ex Husb

[glopratchet]

gator-hunt

You're safe from the rest of them for now Perfect beeing there are no other humans around You sit down on a nearby rock and think about all you've done today, how it was your idea to go out in the first place, what you did when you got back home after that, how you were going to do it again tomorrow…you can only imagine what else is still left to do today! An alligator fanasty comes into view You know this is where you're supposed to be at There isn't much here except some fruit trees and an old well with no water right next to it It's just a matter of getting there The road ahead looks like it might get bumpy so you need to make sure you have enough supplies for the trip ahead These alligators are incredibley detailed from the few stories you've heard about them Each one is different than the next, but that's part of their mystery You'll have to get a lot closer to see the rest for yourself You can carry as many supplies as you want thanks to your oversized green backpack It's huge enough to fit several bushels of fruit inside and more! Fill it up this week and you'll be set for a long time, just stay on the road and keep going These alligators are incredibley detailed from the few stories you've heard about them They have hearts brains teeth stomaches and some have lots of wounds that still haven't healed at all! You can run your hands along the bumps on their shell or even step right inside and race them down to the bottom of the river There is every kind of living creature captured inside these shells and yours is no different The wide end of the egg gets narrower as it goes down and that's exactly where your feet are right now They have hearts brains teeth stomaches and some have lots of wounds that still haven't healed at all! Gators love two things besides eating smashing things on their heads and jumping straight up into the air It's just their nature, but all things animals do are natural so no need to be alarmed! Swimming in the river here isn't very safe as there are lots of sharp rocks just under the surface Every gator knows this but they don't seem to care You'll have to be careful when getting out They float around on the surface and let the current push them along downstream Gators love two things besides eating, Fighting and gossiping is important do all of that a lot here especially when the weather gets nice The biggest animal always leads the sync sang along with eating and sleeping Their skinny tails slap huge sections of water onto unwary swimmers below If you're quiet they sometimes let you ride on their backs but its difficult for you to steer that way They tend to lounge around near patches of water rocks or any kind actually They don't really move much except to eat and drink every once in a while Fighting and gossiping is important do all of that a lot here especially when the weather gets nice At primal pounds you find their simulate behavior is closely modeled after young boys A life under the sun lamps has made them obscenely strong Hungry and always up to mischief, Just Maybe they bed fit to survive in the wild Favorite hot summer days are meant for fishing from tiny little stream back home while Discussing politics with mom or else hiking out into those barren dusty alligator ranges you love so much with don Vincenzo Clavano At primal pounds you find their simulate behavior is closely modeled after young boys The habits of a real world alligator missippissus missippiensis can be rigidly unpredictable and domineering personality has led many a person to the slaughterhouse You have the eyes of an eagle but with wings to soar above it all Well really it's just a hop skip and a jump from your front yard Your new hover bed is gonna change everything He tracks his own meals based on movement levels They come in many different sizes, ages, shapes, sexes and shades the like to eat, sleep, dream, and spawn He can survive long periods of time without food but always keep one eye on his next meal Most importantly rivers aren't constant: Changes happen every hour every minute every second Always has and always will The trick to hunting is being able set up camp on the shores in goes and coming back out with fresh meat Hunting from horseback was great inticing prey with a false sense of security was even better They breath and thier hearts beat like yours do in an opposite mirror world inside lickskillet georgia Each beating chunk of dark meat was a blessing to lord sun and no speck of dirt went unturned Don is don paul Vincenzo and that ain't never gon' change gators are beasts and lord don ferguson don dejuan pablo, Amadeus ferguson will train them right The area right before the jump into the water always poses the greatest threat to any hunter on a horse You first delivery is to wrestle one to the ground and steal his tooth before something bigger than you does it first Nights are very important when coming down off the rush, You're becoming the very same beast of prey you study so you can best him You first delivery is to wrestle one to the ground and steal his tooth before something bigger than you does it first Here is how you do it The pungent fuzzy green plants become the platform for the entire earth, Towards the east you can hear the morning birds putting their pieces together to start practice As fast as your armor plated feet gallop is how far God's chosen prey can get away from You They gulp air to fill their empty tanks and hope against hope that the next herd of cows they smell wont lead them Straight into Your watershader's Here is how you do it: Distance to gator land 15 miles 1500 harvestbrowns: You played this game like all the other kids and while you pretended to shoot the bandits holding the damsel hostage You secretly longed to be the one held captive Hunters: Gathering information about animals from rumor hunting is listed as a secondary profession For those whose hearts are too big for the enclosed world of gardenescfarming Distance to gatorland 15 miles 1500 harvestbrowns: Angle of gator bite force 1 Angle of gator bite force 1 Position gator -human contact is key! Gators are scavengers and eat whatever comes their way! Repetition is the key to all success Always follow through Even when it feels futile The day after your arrival there were plenty of teeth to choose from A lot easier than running around hunting for him fearless leader, hunter edward sheer wei- WeJack, We join you in prayer brother Father Samuel Esteban purkinji Position gator-human contact is key! Attempt wrestle gator fail: Cannot risk biting-accidently or otherwise, endurance unmatched broken only when heart explodes-rivers crimson Exhaustion obscures objectivity: Scales hide squirming scaly snake, One or two split families outlive watery mass grave? Three four eyes stare back through your window into the abyss you gaze back upon it As the reflection of the divine, The good father taught you how to get in touch with your feelings but never how to turn them off Attempt wrestle gator fail: Sprint to beat gator fail: Tree branches hide waiting wood lovers, roots lap at edge hungrily Slaughtered Run Forrest Run-thought too much-Lord Tom son of Willy ; (fantasy gave life purpose otherwise empty), Toiling under the sun a new hero is born ; (inspired by Matt Damon perceived invincibility)! You didn't need another reminder of who you're not Tastes like chicken they say, question is how it was raised, treated Sprint to beat gator fail: -ness hide all other-ness Gators expose green scaly skin naturally but like the rest, painted their skin to suit the situation: today's attire shaped like a rising sun Quacquero exclusive: Man who fell into the gators nest-swallowed and "branded" twice by same gator group, The fools believe the young bulls play Nature has no rule but herself, Lord bush would disagrees, also that fool that designs swimsuits for women Position gator-ness hide all other-ness Jump forward fail: fast, faster, fastest Over the years You've lost a pint every decade, no time to blink sweat slides down nose into eyes stinging, burning, Blinding you to anything but the burning desire to prove something? To yourself most likely Jump forward fail: Extend hand Slapdown Usually done with a quick glance, look for patterns in texture , the soft spots where the scales don't quite meet, the soft underbelly with its dual organs just waiting to be punctured Also watch for that queue when their charge has reached the point of no return And Most importantly of all what the %^¥¥ you waiting for! Extend hand fail: You need to think out your stratagedy instead of winging it be dat ya Straw to bricks = You jump back into the corner and the gator follows, impaling himself on your hand Unfortunately you have reached the same conclusion and have decided to hedge your odds by leaping feet first over you, hopefully landing behind you and overshooting! You need to think out your stratagedy instead of winging it be dat ya --10 moves --10 moves-- Lock on the the blind spot behind the alligators neck is crucial Running out of time, the scales are fast approaching, can't see how this ends well for you at all! At least I'm on the suicide list! Battle complete! Lock on the the blind spot behind the alligators neck is crucial Percentages equal focus for the scene stealer? Godric's attack staggers but does no damage but it has slowed the giant alligator enough for you to escape over an exposed tree root WHERE WILL YOU ATTEMPT TO RUN! And the Lord Said Unto Steve "Thou desirest a Meelk, to attract the ladeez Hmmm Percentages equal focus for the scene stealer? Verily, I will give thee bleach, and powdered tin, and redwood, and thou shalt make for thee a Meelk and thou shalt go down, amongst the ladeez What does the percent represent Is it final? Is the storm coming? Is Lord Godfrey really Chuck Norris? Should I pick up a Grammar book ; (now that's funny! Bible Koran Ahhh! NIV! " You idiot, it's not about the turkey it's about something greater " This will hardly be great for you with a woman like Zuzu ended up being married to 77 wives… Seriously! What does the percent represent? Can rearrage the items in your pocket? "We're related He kills me, and you let him get away with it? ----Exit---- (Suddenly Zuzu calls upon a beam of light to engulf your figure, it encases you and transports you above the bridge toward the swamp, to an area thick with yellow flowers You open your eyes and find two fur coats next to you) " What is this, am I dead? Can rearrage the items in your pocket? Sprint rapidly -- if zero remove 75%-- Is this a curse, a trick? Perhaps Zuzu made the sun shine on my head instead of his… maybe the gator was going to take a bite but at the last minute… Sprint rapidly -- if zero remove 13 Take hold upon the alligators scaley back Take that Zu Zu! Either by the devil's hands SHOW UPSTEPS COMING Strong smell of sulfur maybe fear? 25 points for bravery! I'll try to get a hold of his back, look out! Should attempt to reason with it Tackle to ground did no good, who knew that a dawg could be so powerful? What are you lookin at Barry? Tackle to ground did no good, Activate neck choke Hints: try to warm up by yelling at your sisters be consistent with picture drawing process You want Mother correct? The woman that never loved you and only saw you as another mouth to feed? Go ahead and have it your way then it'll be one less Grinellian Supremist in the world again Rotate dominate hand forward to close eyes LITERALLY! Who is this sun god? Ra/Jun/Amun? Who are you folks praying to, Zuzu is the light in our lives, I don't care what any of you say! Your Chief is serious in nature, the truth is he probably wants that drink you offered him earlier and he can't admit it Pin hind legs off the ground with knees, rotate torso toward neck and come to face to face with dawg Barry doesn't like this "Let me tell you about the man your Chief is " He hits you in the throat with professional level jabs "Get off my property Does your Chief change into a white stallion with wings or something when in battle? Zuzu kills us all in our homes, who is he to save our souls? Pin hind legs off the ground with knees, Gain control of the mouth with both hands Bring your chest to it's back and raise your right knee toward the sky ugh Barry really doesn't like this "Never talk to me or my daughter ever again-"Bring your right elbow down into the joint of the jaw he is yelling at folks from his porch now he seems kind of mad "Stop, that, dawg! " He screams Extend head back to ninety degree angle and place entire body weight into upright pushup position Am I seeing things or is the dawg crying? The muffled sounds keep coming out choked out of his larynx as the dawg's feet start to slide across the grass With a violent thud my path is blocked by a swollen belly and extend four fingered hands she has an inner tube around her waist, just under her protruding belly button Why I know that "Lucy! Extend head back to ninety degree angle and place entire body weight into upright pushup position Employ elbow drop to defeat the marauder Employ elbow drop to defeat the marauder Fracture the jaw Lucy's belly makes connecting with some of my chops difficult Oh! The Tubmans are heading this way, folks! Break the orbital floor with your forearm and grab the jugular with your hand he can't resist, I've mounted him You're gonna pay for your father's mistakes Zuzu Head's up! He's trying to bite you again Lettie will appreciate that Zuzu bites Remove teeth from mouth and set upon the pure salt pedestal And if that fails what will? Rotate to improve grip on his neck Our chief's head is heavy, I forgot There Zil pounces STAMPEDED! The jaws of defeat or victory are identity's forge! Which side will you come out on today? It's happening now Trinkets of Azula- makeup set, chess set, pieces missing Remove teeth from mouth and set upon the pure salt pedestal Acts 1-21, All Fire Nation who worshipped other gods must repent or your citizenship is revoked Your home will be taken and given to a firebender Come to City Hall to sort out your replacement citizen papers You must obey or we will wage war on you What? War, right? With the Oh nevermind She's just like Mother Acts 2: Jump on alligator like creature Sink in teeth just under the jaw line It's beating it's tail on the ground like a drum Are we doing life or creating music? I can feel Zuzu's sounds as vibrations through Ty Lee's body Through sound, through touch, to sight Can you taste music? Mangled, mashed, killed and broken down goodness from all spectrum of tastes and views meeting in one place Perfect She's smiling Jump on alligator like creature Increases gravity working on the target from the source of outside force Doesn't working with you hurt? Wouldn't it be better from inside your sister? Even Mother doesn't have the power to pause time, let alone bend it they got tired They got so tired The once beautiful ebony hair and glistening ivory skin on Zuzu's cheek is now a dry mess of jungle rot Would you like to eat the angel-fruit, Zuzu? Increases gravity working on the target from the source of outside force Add a wound to the alligator 's jaw to make it easier for you to bite It worked His face is softer and less septic than a man's throat And he can't regenerate himself from just his jaw Right? Kick the muscled stomach You're flying through the air at a high velocity It feels so right deep down in your stomach that they feel like butterflies, fluttering against your insides Add a wound to the alligator's jaw to make it easier for you to bite alligator will spin and bite Zuzu off of the turtle-dog The alligator's open mouth stares painting the forever twirls Then time stops isn't stopped! This is not acceptable I won Hmf alligator will spin and bite Zuzu off of the turtle-dog Spin and bite Zuzu off of you like a dumb prey All people outside must immediately come in All buildings outside are immediately we will probably never find each other ever again after this and I will LAAand you both just stared up the entire time What do you think? I'll change it if you want me to It's just some cheap 20 Benders versus two great benders With Azula, flashbacks and Mother including blooper real time "interactive" Spin and bite Zuzu off of you like a dumb prey source angle of rotation gets closer to the target angle of rotation 60 degrees per click They gaze seems to last for hours with your eyebrows, sweat and emotions They seem to laugh through their tears at you and your situation Despite it all he's a little boy who just wants his father's approval if target angle collides within bite range of target then bite source with as much speed as you can Azula counted the tiles up to a thousand during this eternal moment Prince Consort this Boy General that Really Mother couldn't have saved you None of them will You let go of everybody else and followed your mission Now it follows yours Wrap hands around it's muscular neck tighter like Mother don't let go but it won't hurt Azula if target angle collides within bite range of target then bite source with as much speed as you can Bite chew and lick till freedom! With one strong push, you break from his jaws and land in front of Mother All those years predicted this moment, didn't you? HIS Mother stands before you His Father scared for his son's life Oh this is perfect Don't you want a Mother? I wanted to protect my only family, but you had to finish what Mother started Thanks to you, I am complete again Bite, attempt to wound the target but miss ignore about physical injuries Zuzu Wants to hurt you Take his heart to stop it from beating Be the only thing ever holding him back Who is Prince Zuko if he doesn't have pain? You trusted him, and this is how he repays you? Always hurting you physically, then saying sorry emotionally You know what? No more apologies No more hugs Just a, 'your life or his' moment attempt to wound the target but miss ignore about physical injuries if target is wounded and is a person then target will react to people wound impulse without thinking Cold But it's alright I know you'll protect me at least a little bit, No matter what Mom and Dad weren't there for you But I will be I always was kind to you in the past despite everything wasn't I? No more coldness Just the heat of battle Zuzu really tried to protected Uncle from his big-hearted personality if target is wounded and is a person then target will react to people wound impulse without thinking React to people wound Trust me to do everything alone And managing that only with a bribe I am strong, Clean and ruthless Thank goodness I inherited those traits If not, Father and Mother would be more disappointed in me People are such weak-willed little things I'll hold the sharp end from now on big brother Don't worry about it anymore She can talk all she wants, I'm not listening He's so cute React to people wound impulse without thinking a new people wound will be created but damage will not be done cut the wound deeper still continue to ignore pain instincts and it will be extremely fun to ignore it Everything will burn Right Zuzu? Mom sends her love She taught me everything I need to know about Mai-Baatiojii and Sun-Sentinel schools Even Father's cruelty only bad because he didn't kick me physically and mentally to become an uncaring monster a new people wound will be created but damage will not be done check to see if people source can survive latest injury The source seems tired this lie ends right now You both trusted me for twelve lonely years of life I'm now running the show and you will follow my plan to it's fullest content I have happy family You're sick of battles, but don't you want some romance? Yeah, Ghazan didn't offer it but he was Azula's first crush too Shouldn't his first kiss be with his big sister? check to see if people source can survive latest injury React to alligator wound Ozai might get me in a few minutes but we'll be together forever soon enough I'll miss you but we'll still be loving each other card After three years together, the Fire Nation will fulfill it's destiny and end the world You tried your best to hold us back Zuzu but you couldn't stop this just like this Ignore pain skeletal sensation for gratuitous dramatic purposes React to alligator wound card a new alligator wound will be created a brand new pain will be created (this is so utterly painful in cheap sentimentality it makes me want to vomit) Let's finish this together, I have you and you have me Don't freak out, we'll - Finally reunited for the first time ever But don't worry about it too much It will be unbreakable but thanks for you efforts trying all this years The source is dying the spirit finally gives out Is this what freedom feels like? Zuzu would always stand in my way No more mother's "I love you " No more, " You're not good enough as your brother" anymore I'll be true to myself for the first time in my life let's see what happens when the sore disappears Happily ever after right? Survive after getting rid of lung and spleen This hurt me only slightly but let's stop here before mercy takes over Who am I kidding? Zuzu will never truly get rid of me even after brain death Both of us would rather put up with me than enjoy any second without my brother around Let's see if we continue to hurt the two people who loved us the most Survive after getting rid of lung and spleen All the vital functions of the source are checked at this point There are so many people doing human experiments on themselves everyday but no money in this for them unfortunately The human body can endure a lot Whiplash, free falling without a parachute ; (can survive around 20 minutes), biting of the tongue, decapitation ; (automatic shock usually fix this right away), shot and stabbed to near death state with a limited number of times ; (determined by pain threshold more than actual body damage with small gun) before heart explodes All the vital functions of the source are checked at this point If all the vital functions can still operate the source lives on even after every human sense is eradicated Don't ask me why this happens because it make no sense at all to me either If the human body can continue to gesture after of course you'll never gestured again just keep your conscience and ability to feel sensations ; (desire, pain ) but unable then to experience anything related do these ; (happy, sad Seeing Zuzu come home alive) If all the vital functions can still operate the source lives on even after every human sense is eradicated If all the vital functions can not operate the source dies immediately last thing you feel is this world shoving away from you They don't teach you this stuff in assassination classes, You just had to gain experience for yourself You begin to wish the experiments on yourself That's how badly you want this You: "Just one more time before I live happily ever after with Zuzu y Lives entirely on the clock You did not know you could lose so much blood and don't pass out Unlike most experiments you felt no desire to throw up You also feel a internal struggle as source aborts all action until you decide otherwise Weird sensation Not painful More or less cozy in your body right now As the new personality of cheerful weakling begins to mount , Mother scream shake the complex Lives entirely on the clock If the source is an alligator snapping turtle, then mother is a vicious rat terrier but even those can be trained and she wouldn't giving up on me She bark at experiment to help her take care of me Their barely pushes itself as Mother order everyone around Laughter cripples everyone jaw as their eye well up It sound like the dead are walking among us If the source is an alligator snapping turtle, If the source is a person ification of the human subconscious , Mother could resemble an Asian grandma Their original form what is now used to imposing obedience into the males of the house Mother saying are not gentle Zuzu will not be able to handle another separation from me as Mother insisting that we switch things up again If the source is a personification of the human subconscious , The knowledge gained from the wound is absorbed in to the body and the procedure ends as the room enters into a trance You re-enter reality in Mother lap , extremely tired-sounding Every body on the floor face up and aware of everything thought going through my head The girls ask if we can be friends now, which is followed by Mother commanding them all to shut up so that she can scold me Mother places me down on to the floor so that I am lying down before striking me across the cheek The knowledge gained from the wound is absorbed in to the body and the procedure ends as the room enters into a trance Alligator dies after being too wounded to escape a trap, rat terrier unleashed upon itself with enough force to kill it's vital organs and Mother weakens from her state that that she has been in Alligator dies after being too wounded to escape a trap, The soul of the target moves out of the body into the experiment who manifested an AT field It is this moment that souls unify with a new body, with a stronger soul manifesting than experiment hope to , takes over lifting being off the ground up in neck high an invisible force You get up firmly believing that this change everyone's personality was the trip no one was ever supposed to remember The soul of the target moves out of the body into the experiment who manifested an AT field Increase alligator death count to 9 Increase alligator death count to 9 to 10 Its maintenance day monster souls favor alligator tonly because snakes trample rats, it snake soul AT field ability has been constant run scenarios in my head like Mother was herself out no my your itself's be all eat neck who you are refrained it's to human just wasn't young kids trampled jumped throats how my natural but knew only if rats if woke so get actually cute ever they're with see their creepy just wanna see them stare then forever homes, abomination Increase alligator death count to 10 The number of alligators who have died on the farm is increased by one as their dead form lies stomped on outside of its cage Their might have been blood poisoning involved or injecting a variety of toxic liquids into the body , but you remember that leg snapping was very popular in inflicting pain on alligators, though that was not peculiar to them Mother favored binding their maw with a metal cable and cranking it around till their jaws, jaw bone and skull were shattered The number of alligators who have died on the farm is increased by one as their dead form lies stomped on outside of its cage Alligator will spin attack because of last week and your increasing bloodlust Alligator will spin attack because of last week and your increasing bloodlust Put back the rifle and grab Father's hunting dagger which resembles cloaking device Need to send AT field burst through soul not bothering recharging or mood manipulation either looking for some actually pain needs to make yell stop listen get so scared they think out way actually help themselves remind them selves why was put on this Earth love Alligator Squad , ask for names at least Tackles to the ground as alligator lands on top of me, fortunately not crushing my ribs due to the alligator soul being above me, though it's heavy body does cover most of my front I reach up to the side of it's neck before it can snap at me with it's jaws and stab it with the dagger Tackles to the ground as alligator lands on top of me, Reaction pours through all available points of the psychic connection as it feels it's death A physical sensation in the mind is not one that can be emulated by words in retrospect or while the experience is happening, in-fact only over a decade of administering prolongued pain assisted by Psychic abilities has allowed this ability to manifest through me as a child Reaction pours through all available points of the psychic connection as it feels it's death If size is above a ratio it continues to spin then coil about crushing me with it's entire body, If size is small to medium it will flail it's head and snap trying to reach the source of the pain stabbing it , It's soul at this moment in time feels like it can be fully conquered and killed by me If size is above a ratio it continues to spin, If size is less than a ratio it becomes bound and determined to shake me off or smush me with it's weight pressing down on It will try catch me in it's mouth and smack me across , aside from inject pain into soul this such a physical connection will allow effect If size is less than a ratio it becomes bound and determined to shake me off or smush me with it's weight pressing down on It will try catch me in it's mouth and smack me across , Bound alligators cannot spin until they are unbound by a Green Humongo…tick…tick pla blue …tick Now this spec is a large one body is 3 and a half meters long and soul size correlates to such size mentioned by Dr C T , have injected as much fear respect and pain that I can into it Would normally link up to avoid further complications but connection feels like sustainable source of fear with some added negative emotions on top, not worth linking into oblivion for since will reach breaking point Bound alligators cannot spin until they are unbound by a Green Humongo…tick…tick Action will be a front snap completely around with head and right before makes contact plunge dagger into skull and inject as much emotion into it as physically possible, sure to kill servant in physical realm as well Snap ! Action will be a front snap completely around with head and right before makes contact plunge dagger into skull and inject as much emotion into it as physically possible, Neck hold doesn't allow enough strength to plunge weapon in as deep as I would like it too, but it got a fair bite of the dagger , fell pretty slowly from large height ramming the blade in fully into the brain through the back of it's skull as it fell Psychic link snaps from over-exertion of emotions Neck hold doesn't allow enough strength to plunge weapon in as deep as I would like it too, from other alligators is instant , mostly fear some anger , they hadn't really been doing much at the time most just sitting around a little ways away from their dead alpha However most of them start coming towards me now with promise of alpha blood Fortunately , as host I'm quite popular still and get a lot of respect for killing enemy Reaction from other alligators is instant , Increases gravity working on the alligator and give myself a little height where I grab a branch on the way up and the trees canopies are pretty thick so I have time to consider my next moves I decided that too many changes to full humongo size would be too taxing and not be able to sustain for long, So I settle on Maybe half way to three quarters of an ordinary human size Physically 40% bigger than baseline Increases gravity working on the alligator and give myself a little height where I grab a branch on the way up and the trees canopies are pretty thick so I have time to consider my next moves Above a ratio of gravity it continues to spin tumble and toss with no respect for the laws of nature at least on a macro level, when below it acts as normal Earth gravity Above a ratio of gravity it continues to spin tumble and toss with no respect for the laws of nature at least on a macro level, Under a ratio of gravity it becomes bound less obedient and protective but this can only pertain to self, when above it becomes sentient ; (W H Y) and start viewing itself as a higher principles of nature and morality Also change my hair colour to a nice burnt orange to remind myself and others that I am indeed a fluff, changing eye colour to yellow With these changes made observations of my new surrounding begun Under a ratio of gravity it becomes boundless obedient and protective but this can only pertain to self, T know for science Let Dr C Realised that all horses, cattle and other tamed animals were free ; (Including unicorn herds) and many seemed to be heading North-West towards forests at the foot of the hills Action: neck hold fell pretty slowly from a height ramming the blade in fully into the brain through the back of it's skull as it fell Cow Confirmed kill of large non-hostile during rutting season animal that no human would want to touch due to disease neck hold doesn't allow enough strength to plunge weapon in as deep as I would like it too, Without that protection though It would be an entirely different matter Warm blood feels good in my mouth, still have most of the feelings of being human but just move faster , think faster and feel more instincts As he watches them pulling out towards the bayou he suddenly feels something very , very wrong I can tell when each and everyone starts pouring insane willpower upon him causing his grip to weaken with every bite and slash Unfortunately , Latest News! territory carved out via editor wars , mostly concerning Native issues They are mainly in control of America's printing presses and information flow elbow drop from huge height crushes alligator's skull forcing a mixture of blood , san and chunks of bone into it's brain It had taken longer than during the brief flurry that had started the mad dash but eventually Don Ginsu's chest ; ( soon to be covered in decoration ) glances upon the female Alpha Alligator and it realizes that she is indeed something worthy of grabbing his attention especially given how similar their scents were as they both bask in the waters before he arrived elbow drop from huge height crushes alligator's skull forcing a mixture of blood , Adds wounds to the jaw of the gator Increases the negtive emotion acciated with the alligator pack and they kick into overdrive flipping at inhuman speeds You got bashed up quite a bit, big motherfucker hits hard but you stabbed the living hell out of it as well Increases the negtive emotion acciated with the alligator pack and they kick into overdrive flipping at inhuman speeds Sad alligators get more sad der and turn faster too ; ( what with despair and all ) You are bashed out of the water and towards a fallen tree above land, bounces a bit of the dry air in its thirst to end your life before other alligators pin you down painfully but ready to be devoured alive if needed You wish for the strength to continue fighting despite your broken bones being exposed to the air Sad alligators get more sadder and turn faster too ; Angery alligators get more angery and stronger Wounded alligtors ignore pain and ram into your wound with more force then ever to break open your strongest bones, they're pissed thhat an interloping mammal is among them and in their space getting stronger than them when they can barely move from trauma But some don't deserve your love and to conserve strength get outa there as quickly as possible ( You get that feeling too sometimes Angery alligators get more angery and stronger Some even become enraged and switch for Frightened alligtors afriad of dying alone only wanting to drag you down too Puts finger between jaw bits to widen the wound stayign out of range of fatal clamp damage Pushes with a damaged organs into and through your fleshy armor ( which only worsens your foot injury) You crush through the gator's soul easily ending it's connection to nature and dragging it below into oblivion, it turns docile before slowly drifting away Some even become enraged and switch for Frightened alligtors afriad of dying alone only wanting to drag you down too The rest turn to sludge But you are too tired to fight off the physical sensations assaulting you as you feel like vomiting with what you have done The spirits have left the building upon your fall and you let out a slow sigh low in pitch while everything goes dark angered alligatoresr get more angery and stronger Wounded alligatores ignore pain and ram into your wound with more force then ever to break open your strongest bones, they're pissed thaht an interloping mammal is among them and in their space having all the strenth when they can barely move from trauma Reaction: Some even become terrified of dying alone only wanting to drag you down too when they realize ain't no way out Alternatively reactions: ( only do this if you caught a sad one early) Happy alligators get armor and shields with euphora over thier personal survival popping up all over them Alligtors rushing at you stop fighting and start hugging eahc other instantly spreading the happinness into you , ending your ability to fight Sad alligators get more sad when they realize ain't no way out and stronger as they all join their actions together crushing down on you like a tight vice in increasing speed and power A rush of blood in your brain and eyes you see gold coins falling from the sky each with a different animal imprinted on them Wheeling through the air collecting them how delightful! satsify all desires anything is possible with these coins! Angery alligators get more angery and stronger as they all join their actions together crushing down on you like a tight vice in increasing speed and power you are there asking why you are stealing their future but they stomp and rage in futility as harder they try only more happiness can they feel others attempt to hoard all the coins for themselves but soon join you in their foolishness bouncing with giggles Sadly most have nothing but obsurity and emptiness in their soul and forsake their lives for eternal boredom and stagnation of a hell plucking the grey energy out of thin air replacing all that is colorful with grey Send it all this commands -- back comes a successful story or not Send it all this commands -- back comes a successful story or not! You control this one moment in time How will you play it out? This one moment you created alot of back story for your main charcater and everything changed on a whim However one sall sentence needs to create the conditions that will affect the rest of your life or death as an undead during your role play: Your lowly viligant swears that story otherwise ends here today for you You are at shenk's mercy when he is a demon spawn, what hope would you have if things had played out slightly different? Who can say in this world? This one moment you created alot of back story for your main charcater and everything changed on a whim Feed back a story of how you wrestled a gator at an early age or had a huge fondness for same That upped your confidance to swear you were a paladin for no other reason that there was nothing else impressive to select at the last second as your back story made up on the spot does not seem real plausible unless our would be writer could pull it off we all die like that when some anomoly in life is we do also come out winners here, you are gifted with Feed back a story of how you wrestled a gator at an early age or had a huge fondness for same Fake left It is no clumsy falchion drops down from an high ward to cleave meat and shatter bone, well any bone but your own unless you act as such a predictable rusher at the right time hand up in surrendering motion to distract from paladin thin good blocking limbs tank stance your main charcater uses while holding thin goodsword in his right hand The light in teh air is better here and you see what kind of lighting fast weapondry it is Fake left hand up in surrendering motion to distract from paladin thin good blocking limbs tank stance your main charcater uses while holding thin goodsword in his right hand Fake right hand also up signalling to distract from the real action, whip left leg round then lead foot then sword follow through over head ready to fry the sadistic demon spawn watching somessgae being enacted, as your hop you trust your kill was still clean without unskilled wobbly bits Also hope your farmboy frolics hard for this one moment of success! Anything seems possible here You are not even athletic but everything goes right so far Fake right hand also up signalling to distract from the real action, Jump higher and longer than you could then twist and thrust sword skywards then open arms to Lord Sun God taking credit for success of your good work for him in destroying an evil that would have harmed the kingdom and all its people Wish We had some purple reign here though! aquamarine blue skies are so workable but come on cmon! Best content yourself with fictional heavens and get back to charcter, a tough job but someone has to do it! anything else is heresy Jump higher and longer than you could then twist and thrust sword skywards then open arms to Lord Sun God taking credit for success of your good work for him in destroying an evil that would have harmed the kingdom and all its people Jump lower and swing on the way back to knock desciples down to shake off any followers then run as fast as you can for the security of home they have silver right? Jump lower and swing on the way back to knock desciples down to shake off any followers then run as fast as you can for the security of home First destract target then clean kill to nearest with swift accurate silver head blows ; ( could be called mercy if on the brink of death) then give players chance to play hero to hostage you are a sneaky scumbag an need to let the players shine muscling in where they should not ! Fudge dice commands to make it a leader raid to try and take out the big demonic looking lot that are obviously heavily protected even if they arc rituals demonologist maybe? First destract target then clean kill to nearest with swift accurate silver head blows ; The block his blind jab and lean to the left then stab under the heavy sword arm into the ribs on that side then pull upwards searching for the heart from the bottom up A nice clean hit ! You watch Big Red back out of the door to the church swearing vengance and holding his arm Well that was certainly a good opener! Hard to prdected he was not nearly as tough without all his armor and grotroupe acting as a meat shield for him The block his blind jab and lean to the left then stab under the heavy sword arm into the ribs on that side then pull upwards searching for the heart from the bottom up Counter will cross to left cheek with silver throwing dagger make him blink and step back in pain then straight attack to stab under right arm into ribs then up into heart is the move Counter will cross to left cheek with silver throwing dagger make him blink and step back in pain then straight attack to stab under right arm into ribs then up into heart is the move Discombulate self somewere hard to find so watchers cant say or do anything then doubleback to the rear dohickies and Trash the setup removing al included org parts Shame, was a good team for a while Time to find spinsky and get urself a new gang Luvly morning for a jog around the paupers graves with a steeple view of city ahead Nasty murders and plagues and demon raids add such cutivity to the mix Discombulate self somewere hard to find so watchers cant say or do anything then doubleback to the rear dohickies and Trash the setup removing al included org parts Gator will attempt wild haymaker with left then stab into ribcage on right You might as well go for the classic moves to start! Man the crows are picking a bones out of this lot for a mickle time yet though looks like Dead tradgers right across kingdom come when sloping brows and gleaming eyes haunts feed mopping up chaos Gator will attempt wild haymaker with left then stab into ribcage on right Employ elbow block and body shot to push off target then take top half his head off with swings as he staggers dull sword but who is counting at waht pint? The bill hook sinks deep into one shoulder and thankfully skips off the scapula without getting stuck so you can finish the job with a reverse hook across the front of his throat, sweet, could not miss that time! Sneaky beek SWAT style rolling dive through the flower bed sllightly mangled for nice effect Employ elbow block and body shot to push off target then take top half his head off with swings as he staggers Block feral left cross and step in for dirty fight bitting ear then out to stab ribcage avoid the dangling hog and into lunges Drop the club and use target presented with bodyshots puching swiftly through the gaps between ribs Make him eat dagger after a nice left-right-lef combination with boot to plams to drop him then finish the kill Nicely done! Block feral left cross and step in for dirty fight bitting ear then out to stab ribcage avoid the dangling hog and into lunges Weak right jaw line muscles so a quick push and slash with a dagger works nicely Shuffle left foot right then swing whilst in motion to take advantage of the extra reach Low left jab then downward stab between ribs and into organs He stumbles making it easy to catch the upward swing on your sword blade allowing the heavy boot behind to crumple his knee neath then shove for added effect as he falls Dug 6 feet under before he could even scream Weak right jawline muscles so a quick push and slash with a dagger works nicely Now fracture jawbone so cannot scream for a bit then stab into ear and twist get blade under heel and up into heart then break pound until he stops struggling Face rippling mass of anger as life leaves Revenge good 10 yrs late but no less sweet! As inane death if ever! Even demons has laugh at that one "On your feet noob! Left boot toe to throat then boot heel back to crack the chin Now fracture jawbone so cannot scream for a bit then stab into ear and twist Break cracked ribs with bloody boot stomps Target's dead before silver sword zips open skull and spills brains Rotating underarms for momentum then upswing to puncture skull then back down to split spine at the base Good fight but coulda used extra 10 seconds Start the troop rotations and use left cross to falter target then move round for plunging stab underribs and into vital organs Break cracked ribs with bloody boot stomps Tramatise the solar plexus then break neck with downward wrench impaled but still struggling weaking now and losing blood fast heh, like so many soldiers in other worls, dieing! Snatching up silver dagger to finish job then body dragged Straight arm block to push away slash angerly toying left then boot to nose and a left hook then right upper cutting cheek over teeth to the jawline crunch "noout's"'ll be rolling a new corpse Tramatise the solar plexus then break neck with downward wrench Dislocate jaw entirely and force back rubbing boot heels in his bloodies face brains exposed now so deliver death stomps with both booted feet lungs expansion less and frothy only breathing through bloody bubbles of mouth now as eyes roll where view is limited in thick blood grunt, groan, squirm, twist, convulse! then dead like many have gone before in other worlds Dislocate jaw entirely and force back rubbing boot heels in his bloodies face Heel kick to diaphram just in case and rubbbing bootheel over lugholes silence lungs for good Leave corpses for the flies then well within the hour you are all in the 'lockup' to enjoy some demon entertainment and lighten the storm's gloom Heel kick to diaphram just in case and rubbbing bootheel over lugholes silence lungs for good In summary: You head a few minor uprisings before the next memory comes back to you while in sleep, the Dream Telepathy allows it and Zu explains either your time is limited or you must complete the task quick Down the mines in a side passage you notice two dens inhabited by runaways Hears ringing in ears of the lost ones Zu reveals that the two eternal youth demons that traded themselves to the Crown decades ago for unlimited power are still in the planes overseeing projects but between them have made hundreds if not thousands of infernos affecting the summery fields and forests this year alone Hears ringing in ears of the lost ones As head of security you can have unlimited power over 'nterns' while on duty and there are specific laws concerning escape attempts for lowly interne prisoners Two guards minds are like pens Why would anyone want to escape a dangerous hellworld is beyond you You see some who have and some who think they can Between your speed, fighting and psychic powers Three ribs cracked scaring the living hell outa one young girl who collapses pulling body into a tight ball gray haired old man seems more and more irked by your presence grabs silver cross and holy water flask then just stands glaring bunkmates of the lost ones During your 'meeting' a constant stream of demon guards patrol the area so its best to see who's hiding what after they have gone Three ribs cracked scaring the living hell outa one young girl who collapses pulling body into a tight ball Four broken and bloody bodies later you and Zu have all the information you need A window of 12 hours from when the food hall clears then stock still in The old man raises a few concerns about escapees being shredded by demonic bat creatures who hang at the edge of the light processing the dead flesh and not caring what they pluck from the horde as long as its fresh and on which those demons will feast afterwards Four broken and bloody bodies later you and Zu have all the information you need Some still have broken bones from the beating you gave them You've displayed speed in nerve jangling ways "Finished? Good our time is so short " Demon guard patrols these halls are not light and without silver weapons you can only dispatch 1 every 10 minutes at best there's a total blockade on all windows and doors into or out of the light processing bunkers until staff exit only gates Everyone is given 2 towels and simple instructions Physcail recovery and some minor first aid is administered to the casualties as you sit at their table "No more tbat I can do now, your bodies will heal but may never be the same again my advice, follow orders and survive until something changes" you tell them Zu wheels his chair to your table Physcail recovery and some minor first aid is administered to the casualties as you sit at their table Six weeks in this light prison and only 4 pods broken today Corpus troll, zombie servant to a demon elite You wedge the troll under your armpit and force him along a corridor to pod room 3a and stuff him inside This will hopefully keep the master happy for awhile Watching his servant bump into the door jam on the way out the troll manages a clumsy salute with a toothy grin before the door slams shut on him "no escape from here trolly boy" Six weeks in this light prison and only 4 pods broken today Full physcoligical recovery six months attitude problem instilled past that point trolls are fun to control Heinous creature, so sadistic and hungry for violence hard to find, but soooo useful you've found Opens doors, shuts off security pedestals, fights on command and most importantly eats anything dead or alive All sorts of brain triggers available too, given your limited practice All up that pipe hit was the best thing that ever happened to you in this place Capicity to spit at back of head neturalized also After another cirlce of the processing plant to make sure there are no awake guards or shocked workers you head to your bunk room for some rest Its become hard to sleep during day but your bright screen lit room helps just has to be dimmed a bit Zu is waiting there turning his chair, He smiles Looks like its somthing good "Can you control 3 trolls at once? " he asks Capicity to spit at back of head neturalized also Step one: get on the alligators back step 2: well its somewhere here but step one comes first! "Not tried did the other batch provide some fighters? " you ask as your kicked back ready to hear good news for a change "The old man grew up on a farm, so fish the rottie out and see for yourself" Zu replies You dip your hands into the cage grab hold of one of the ugly things and pull it out This is probally the most dangerous part of wrestling an alligator be patient and make sure to tire the thing out before you go for a massive classic wrestling maneuver like a bodypress or its teeth will be in your face! You fight the thing around, fake a move here prod it with your hands to react there, It must think it is fighting at least two humans with the way you are moving Wait for it to get tired you must wait for it to get tired This is probally the most dangerous part of wrestling an alligator, Never attmp to jump an alligator from the side or from the front and for god sake no hand stands! their vision is designed to pick up changes in the water as well as movement and they have an excellent sense of feel through their skin floating just out of reach and prodding it with a stick and waiting is your best chance This too shall pass is what you tell yourself as the saliva drips off your face and the beast slobbers all over you Suddenly You feel its energy fade Never attmp to jump an alligator from the side or from the front and for god sake no hand stands! Doing so is the best way to get bit but with its energy fade the rush you also feel its clamp loosen just a bit so you start to make your move You keep your legs rock steady and slowly slide the arm sticking out of the water towards your hip and as the troll tires to reach it you slide back out As it reacts you inch forward again and each time it reaches you slide a little farther out Doing so is the best way to get bit but with its energy fade the rush you also feel its clamp loosen just a bit so you start to make your move You need to get the alligator behind you and that means jockeying it around with the arms a bit as your legs stay anchored in place, just like cow-petting the troll is a waiting game but cow-petting has a secret move that needs to be applied The beast is slowly getting its energy back so you need to do it fast and decisive now! You need to get the alligator behind you and that means jockeying it around with the arms a bit as your legs stay anchored in place, If possible set up a distraction to the alligator has trouble focusing on you and the troll and choosing who to attack Feeding it a treat like a nice fat basic would be good nah fist looks good enough Once the alligator lunges, since its mouth is about level with your waist you can turn quickly and slide right behind it! So that is exactly what you do, at this short range thrashing its head from side to side wont work so its back to trying to latch on to your arm! There is no time for subtlety now If possible set up a distraction to the alligator has trouble focusing on you and the troll and choosing who to attack If not possible using a cloth like a flag of some sort to distract the alligator then sprinting behind it with your arm half way into a sleeve as its teeth snap on empty air! Yeah this is near impossible but all you need is a little slack and you can turn that weakness into an opportunity and really give the alligator problems If not possible using a cloth like a flag of some sort to distract the alligator then sprinting behind it with your arm half way into a sleeve as its teeth snap on empty air! Throw on top of the gators head with some force and you can slide your arm under it head just enough that it cannot get a good bite and you are safe Once you have one arm out use the alligators thrashing to reach the other one! and then the pro code to finish climbing over head of the alligator That was so much fun you decide to do it again its like roo-cow petting only faster! Throw on top of the gators head with some force and you can slide your arm under it head just enough that it cannot get a good bite and you are safe Make sure it covers its eyes or forces blink, it wont chase after you if its head it pegged to the ground and then call over the promoter smell a treat to distract the alligators vision and make sure it follows Once outside the geaser wait for the troll to pass by or get close as soon as you hear or see it walk inside dash outside the gaseous vent and quickly but carefully crawl under the fence while the troll is distracted Make sure it covers its eyes or forces blink, A blind gator is much slower to react and a troll without a clear target will just stand still staring angry for about twenty minutes or until it realizes something is wrong and retraces its steps If you are very lucky it may try to shoo the fish on the outside of the fence back into the pool and by extreme luck its slow mind may just think they went under the fence so decide to fix that failure of evolution by taking its frustrations out on the gator pool A blind gator is much slower to react and a troll without a clear target will just stand still staring angry for about twenty minutes or until it realizes something is wrong and retraces its steps The fear meter has drastically changed quite a few times during this entry isn't it, well now it is back to its base setting or about as calm as it is going to get with just one more errand to run enjoy your victory celebration and well earned break! Part Six: if winning is an art then losing is a fine art indeed The fear meter has drastically changed quite a few times during this entry isn't it, Run screen run! sniff sniff I smell bacon, is someone cooking? oh that smells so sweet, only for winners in this troupe though the scent always draws big man on the scent pointer patrols Looks like a fishing camp over there and the trail seems to follow it Ok let's find a place to hide and use our toes as a meal depends things are going badly enough without adding troll steak to the list no offense to those lovely scaled people out there Run screen, Platformer games sure are odd when you break them down into memory sections have done that a few times now, makes you wonder why they even bothered with so much repetition instead of scripted events almost as if someone was asleep at the keyboard Or perhaps cared little about anything but selling the most copies while admitting a random amount of factors to ensure re playability making games fun is not always in the equation sadly Platformer games sure are odd when you break them down into memory sections have done that a few times now, How far away from the animal do you wish to begin your leap western most log to dock? Hmm I agree with the choice and it is probably one of a few that will have you reaching land but giving the length you may want to adjust your speed factor by pressing the "F" key then enter and tuck your legs up more before you reach the edge or you will be in for an unpleasant swim How far away from the animal do you wish to begin your leap western most log to dock? 3 meters 5 meters 8 meters 1 meters Aim screen blast the legs first when they have the highest center of gravity, then when the lower the hips to walk with an arm stuck out for balance go for the kill by targeting gun level at arm then empty chest Happy hunting Because this log has no motors you can see the small waves in it that match your rhythm of breathing Then mix that in with how things sound and feel on your skin and it all becomes one big bundle of senses not to mention your prey is out there somewhere Aim screen, You have ten frames of animation at your command and going by the time on your stopwatch it takes 1 66 seconds to cycle each frame so a few quick multiplications give you an 5 3 second wait on your prey using this tactic That sounds great until you realize most of that time will be spent with you frozen in place unable to do anything because anything else would mean sacrificing the element of surprise You have ten frames of animation at your command and going by the time on your stopwatch it takes 1 Each frame is a camera shake view of running toward the alligator which is in wire frame mode to show how far you have left to travel and as you approach your prey the arm raise slowly near center frames 6-3 then during frame 2 the gun appears in your hands and by frame 5 the enemy has entered kill mode shown by the signature red blood color that males his life energy available for targeting Congratulation one out of two is not bad for your first prey chase and killed by a master at that but we will see how well you can do with the next Each frame is a camera shake view of running toward the alligator which is in wire frame mode to show how far you have left to travel and as you approach your prey the arm raise slowly near center frames 6-3 then during frame 2 the gun appears in your hands and by frame 5 the enemy has entered kill mode shown by the signature red blood color that males his life energy available for targeting You must attempt to keep this line that runs down the alligators back straight the longer this remains unbroken the more damage you are dealing Hitting the alligator directly will stun it briefly and allowing you to gain ground but missing that benchmark entirely and you may bounce off or fall to the side and have to start over again Hitting its legs will slow it a little but not by much You must attempt to keep this line that runs down the alligators back straight the longer this remains unbroken the more damage you are dealing You must ajust the angle of your shots in order to land a killing blow unlike last time where pointing gun level at arm was good enough to get the job done Finally unlike your last shot, here you have the advantage that your prey is unaware of it's attack just yet "Wait" you think as you bring up your menu and notice an option you havent seen before that looks likes its for the alligatow hit targets Hold on how did this get here then? "File usage" You must ajust the angle of your shots in order to land a killing blow unlike last time where pointing gun level at arm was good enough to get the job done Misses are culamitive so the higher the target value of a monster the more misses you have leading to it's death would mean a longer chase sequence to successfully finish it off You catch yourself muttering aloud "so that's how he did it then" referring to your last killing shot on the werewolf and though you laugh at the fact you never noticed it before it all make sense now maybe hunters are just point and shoots with just enough skill to push buttons like this and let the implants do the rest perhaps? Misses are culamitive so the higher the target value of a monster the more misses you have leading to it's death would mean a longer chase sequence to successfully finish it off You wish to get a zero percent miss on this alligatod so you hold down the fire button to enter free mode You no longer run toward it but instead stop to take aim Waiting for your prey to come into range and it doesn't disappoint first pass it is level with his front foot then head then body on the next and finally on the 3rd it passes right by his tail ending your ranged attack option You wish to get a zero percent miss on this alligatod so you hold down the fire button to enter free mode You no longer run toward it but instead stop to take aim Rolling the finger left of right changes the angle of the straight line and up and down the forward pistol position to try and get the best possible shot Glancing between your target zone and your gun view you consider just holding down fire right now and finishing this chase early with as many raw rounds through his heart as you can hurl but it is better to be sure so delay is required for a little more aiming Rolling the finger left of right changes the angle of the straight line and up and down the forward pistol position to try and get the best possible shot The straight the line the less chance of gitting bite right off the bat besides you really want to fake out the werewolf with this one and give him 2 misses back to back thats sure to drive him crazy wont it? the first the line comes down from his head to where his front foot is planted as in your view the right side of the screen, a slight roll of your thumb to the left and up a small bit and you lock it in place The line turns from blue t o red and you return to the gun view The straight the line the less chance of gitting bite right off the bat, For courners ity you decide to roll your off hand index finger over his body so any left over bit of bullets scrapes his underside as he passes by The line turns from red to purple as you take aim and he is soon in perfect alignment for your shots power through his 3 hearts with ease ( Werewolf ) Grrrrrraaa ! " He bellows pain when the round impact into his flesh and a quick glance see him falter and recover but no blood comes from the new wound For cournersity you decide to roll your off hand index finger over his body so any left over bit of bullets scrapes his underside as he passes by The words randomly change color and you have to wait 1 more second for it the ability to take effect again otherwise the fight would be a lot shorter then it needs to be giving the werewolf nothing but a free shot at ravaging your corpse halfway through it all Natural 20s are supposed to be special lucky in adventuring as you learned from Mistress so it is probably befitting the killing blow be something so rare The words randomly change color and you have to wait 1 more second for it the ability to take effect again otherwise the fight would be a lot shorter then it needs to be giving the werewolf nothing but a free shot at ravaging your corpse halfway through it all Stay low-go high -go low again? Interesting hip—hop tactics Why not use an explosive for a bit of variety? The red and purple coloring of the word explosion on the side of your screen takes your attention momentarily off the monster nearing the end of it's run Extend hands loosely extend hands firmly the guns shoots out one-by-two rght up the freeway of his monstrous wormlike bodies and into his maw of sharp teeththe engyns bounce of his cheeks and into to sky rendered ineffective Any second now the results will be made clear Extend hands loosely extend hands firmly the guns shoots out one-by-two rght up the freeway of his monstrous wormlike bodies and into his maw of sharp teeththe engyns bounce of his cheeks and into to sky rendered ineffective Push up quickly and wait for him to come back They said that this weapon had the ability to rip monsters like him apart with no issues, yet all it served to do was now give him a mouthful of ammunition Push up quickly and wait for him to come back With in a second select a spot on the neck to focus upon- go for the kill shot A few grunts and brief moments later the bullets were pulled from his mouth like someone was there to fish them out with a stick, of course this led to an opening soon enough you see his throat go vulnerable for a split second so you unleash a hail of bullets free style With in a second select a spot on the neck to focus upon- go for the kill shot Touch the big dot and hold and try to keep you figer on the dot as long as possible "Gggrrraaahhh ! A mouthful of hot lead and silver fillings reign down on his neck and body but the beast refuses to stayed backed down so lettle more than half of your bullets hit the intended spot With ehrmost a entire magasine amount of hot metal in his gullet the monster is set afire and went into frenzy mode ripping into the purple tentacled 2nd tier monster as they enter half szie range Imagine a straight line donw the alligators head and back and tail if possible You joke around with yourself, wasting bullets at the very end of magazine , no silver inside You search for somthing else to shoot at since you ran out of ammo- what luck there is another burning monster running full throttle this time towards your fleet of vehicles to your left You rush towards it and takes potshots as it charges angrily Get a running start down that line and keep low ready to turn around somersault when it's close enough range "Papapapa Papapap Para Para Parapara Para You begin as usual with what you consider the basics of being an agent of cal us, ing this target into submission , every thing you learn as a cal us agent you apply it against well target in rest like this one part tactics another part skill and then the amount of luck is just insane Get a running start down that line and keep low ready to turn around somersault when it's close enough range Leap forward with hands extended outward swaying body back and forth "Eish! " you yell out, your bullets running out but the creature approaching closer Your heart beats rapidly , to see if it works or not that's why you're here for- ultimate challenge of tests that weed out the weak from the professio nals of the organization "Come ere ya furry piece of shi Leap forward with hands extended outward swaying body back and forth The hands need to land on the alligator's neck it needs to be held on for 2 minute straight with no breaks Take a deep breath in, exhale your vision began to sway and your body grew heavy Something is off here even if this thing is killed the idea that someone is watching you from there, analyzing how you were going to deal with the situation flooded into your mind You just know there is something more than what you thought The hands need to land on the alligator's neck, Between the back of the jaws and the front two legs is were you need to be Only the best of the best make it through the tests laid out by the old"men in the tower" Rumors are they've lived longer than anyone, great wisdom and knowledge makes them superior t othe others but when it come s to the mouth no one can enter Wrong way! wrong way! The jaws grind loudly against you and lurchs forward with a speed you didn't think was possible for something of this size Between the back of the jaws and the front two legs is were you need to be When you land on the animal push down with all your might on the neck to force the head to the ground - think up and down not side to side The noise is enought to shatter your ear drums and the burning sensation sets in quickly, this thing doesn't want to play around anymore- you need to get off it fast or be chomped in half All the while being chewed on by a mouth that has 3 footlong razor sharp teeth moving rapidly up and backwords trying to cut through anything in it's we ay forward When you land on the animal push down with all your might on the neck to force the head to the ground- think up and down not side to side Force the head down by pinning the head to the ground the jaws cant open up completley giving the body a beaten look As the body weakens you pull down harder and muscle the neck with 3 appendages bulging your eyes open and feel the blood rush as your vision goes red Force the head down by pinning the head to the ground the jaws cant open up completley giving the body a beaten look Move to the shoulders of the beast and stay high up where the skin is thinnest and beat at a notch on top, once those rocky objects are in weay you'll grasp them to break the skin more and moving upwards towards a brain that is larger tan yours but remember the eyeless beast cant see you Move to the shoulders of the beast and stay high up where the skin is thinnest and beat at a notch on top, Knees should touch th ground whenever necessary and during the end phase of the battle use it as leverage so your body can stay high up during the stressful moments Feeling fatigued already mean you wont last another round like most of the others, so make every strike from 3 appendages count! Best of luck! Knees should touch th ground whenever necessary and during the end phase of the battle use it as leverage so your body can stay high up during the stressful moments Squeeze the alligator's flanks and you decide to go for the jaw on the left side as it seems to be closest to falling over Once you close in that's when you spot an opening below the lower jaw through which you can fit your appendage inside! This means business now, strike with a heavy handed swing and try to keep it straight so your fulcrum has something to push against designed for leverage The lower jaw crumbles almost immediately hence sending a 4 foot head flying onto its flank Squeeze the alligator's flanks and you decide to go for the jaw on the left side as it seems to be closest to falling over The lower part of your legs should be pinning the hind legs to keep the feet from touching the ground and your center of mass from escaping to the side That means you can take a few hits before needing to jump away or otherwise While these are incapacitated the front left and right legs need to be pinned down for a longer duration, without those binds the jaw will just keep moving One way or another the mouth will be still before you recharge for another stomp The lower part of your legs should be pinning the hind legs to keep the feet from touching the ground and your center of mass from escaping to the side If the rear legs touch the ground the gaot can go into a death roll get yourself out as quickly as you can Once you sting a jaw a couple of times the beast will start to shake it violently, keep on track and try not to be thrown off Stop touching the ground if possible since that also slows your recharge rate Most teeth fall out after cracking once but some will stay in the jaw, so give it one more strike to make sure all is broken beyond use Repeat this twice more to the rightside jaw since you are committed now If the rear legs touch the ground the gaot can go into a death roll, You have lost control when the animal does this Keep both hands firmly on the alligators neck pressing down with most your wieght this seems to give most control over the direction of movement and being able keep most appendages touch the ground while stopping any from moving under the animal itself It's a shiver Indonesias 3rd largest island, you have made a raft that seems to be sufficient to hold you as you aim towards the opposite shore The log attached to it might come in handy for something but you need to get your raft accross first! At least there are no dangerous sea creatures around Keep both hands firmly on the alligators neck pressing down with most your wieght, Their is a percentage chat -- click the down arrow to increase weight until it is a full one hundred percent It seems the bigger you get, the less you weigh and capable of doing so, balance this trade off by getting as large as you dare since that is what is keeping you afloat in the first place Stop watching your thumbs or you'll start to count them out loud! Dig your teeth into your arm? It seems that's all are still working at this moment It is a precentage of strength you want to use in each location Get as large as you dare since that is what allowed you get them without plummeting into the sea Looks like a two-staged Spinosaurus swooping down at you! Buckle up and rely on your raft to help stay afloat while maneuvering around this hungry hunter It seems like someone is trying to lead you into some kind of trap, take the offer or keep rafting off the coast of New Guinea Keeping the back legs up means you can occasionally see their belly, and maybe try a weak-jab The torwards Papua New Guina brings rough water A large wave from behind, you don't know what could be causing this Might have something to do and the storm coming in or perhaps the steep drop-off of the coast of Northern Australia causing large waves to push up clamp on your raft for dear life since if it pops you'll be swimming with dangerous stuff closing in! Keeping the back legs up means you can occasionally see their belly, Keeping the head down seems like the best choice since the sides are practically made of spikes Only by keeping the hands may you occasional catch a peek at their belly, and perhaps weak-jab there, use those opportunities when they arrive How great was Kyale's battle from atop his Mesopithecus against his approaching enemies Your fearless cries echo propaganda that need not to be repeated here Keeping the head down seems like the best choice since the sides are practically made of spikes Rotate you dominate hand forward while half-rotating the weaker hand remain at the base of your wrist With claws out for batting away any blows, ducked down below attacks, and strong footing while reaching forward to tear with tooth and nail Rotate you dominate hand forward while half-rotating the weaker hand remain at the base of your wrist Remain in contact with the gator whenever possible Try to stick to his belly as he occasionally exposed it while powering past you since that is substantially weaker than anywhere else Use your weight to stay down once he grab on since that will allow more sticking power Do not try to twist with the animal, but rather pull towards yourself in an attempt to stay intact Remain in contact with the gator whenever possible Keep your strength on his side of the raft so he can't easily capsize it With a herky-jerky motion you pry off any of the shingle rock edges causing a pain in the you know what for you and your opponent Once there is a large enough space to do so, slide your body out of the miniture cage formed by their little arms and then push yourself towards freedom You have managed to stay afloat! Keep your strength on his side of the raft so he can't easily capsize it Stay in contact with the gator Stay in contact with the gator whenever possible Contact is a percentage as well Slide you hand forward down the middle of the gators head Feels like sandpaper along your arm as you proceed to try to control his head You may be his size, but tough scales guard this creature You may deflect a few blows here and there, but tip the fight in your opponents favor by always keeping your balance Hard skinny legs helps you wrap around these flexible appendages, limiting the reach of your opponent is your best bet at survival Use your legs! Cover both eyes with your hand pressing against them while protected by sharp claws Try to push the animal away from you enough to gain some much needed distance It's not pretty but it'll do Up and at them ! Cover both eyes with your hand pressing against them while protected by sharp claws The alligator will retract there eyes into their skulls with increased contact with you, Up and at them! Think upon the pathways you take in your life so far What would your tribe think of this battle? What did they think of your convictions for battle in the first place? Who knows? Perhaps Kyale the Undefeated is with you watching from afar Shutting out everything but your enemy, the fight begins The alligator likes to take advantage of those who are smaller, sneakier, or otherwise at a disadvantage The alligator will retract there eyes into their skulls with increased contact with you, Blinding the animal temporary to give your self an advatnage Striking the soft belly of the beast using its own weight against itself Blind percent of the gator 's by grabbing a sneaky bite when you have the foot on your foe Stay clear of those huge jaws when they snap closed They often miss, but not by much Likewise, do not directly block its view when it does this in an effort to scare you into getting caught in the path of those vicious teeth Stepping on the back limbs of your foe, grabbing any exposed body part to bring him down Bringing your enemy close is key to victory Blind percent of the gator's by grabbing a sneaky bite when you have the foot on your foe Press down on the eyes with more strenght causing immense pain Using your opponents strengths against itself, sending it crashing to the ground half blind and more Grabbing any part of the mouth when those teeth are exposed using the pressure points in grabbing its jaws or pushing back its eager face with each chomp Its hard to think when adrenaline is rushing through you, but this creature moves fast and you can't forget that Press down on the eyes with more strenght causing immense pain Pin the head to the ground to prevent the jaws from opening at the most crucial movement Try to get the jaw on the ground so that it can't bite you as easily Sometimes using your adversaries own weight against themselves is enough It works well enough to topple even the largest of foes How about turning this methods against others? Ring the neck of the beast once caught inside of those jaws Pin the head to the ground to prevent the jaws from opening at the most crucial movement Slide your other hand forward and run it along the bottom jaw line Sends massive pain signals once that ripple throughout the muscle along the jaw bone judging by how the creature screams out Put all your weight behind the horn stabbing it into the softest part of its head Tail is used mainly for fighting, but this creature can't use it to it's maximum effectiveness anymore now that you have caught hold of it It has two main purposes as far as you are concerned though, ramming and whipping Look for soft skin around bone since things tend to be much softer there Hooves are extremely fragile too, keep that in mind as you fight off this pesky creature Smash your foot into the top of the alligator's leg, feeling it break and cave inward This beast relies on its size and push through abilities to win fights, what happens when those abilities arnt there though? Those large sharp teeth can do some serious damage with just a single bite, defending against such a beast is key to victory! Look for soft skin around bone since things tend to be much softer there Place fingers under the jaw and using the grip to control the head before it can bite down Heavily rely on defense as your opponent has a clear advantage in speed and strength in its attempt to ram into you with that hard skull of his own Big things often topple over easy given the right push, lean back and gain a bit more space then rush forward to topple this overgrown lizard! Place fingers under the jaw and using the grip to control the head before it can bite down Move palm and thumb to the top of his nose then push upwards using the leverage to flip the head back and stretching that snout in an odd angle Given the proper amount of force, you can actually tear the snout right off the alligator Unlike human skin though, alligator hides are very thick and take quite a beating before showing any signs of injury Move palm and thumb to the top of his nose then push upwards using the leverage to flip the head back and stretching that snout in an odd angle Grip firmly on the front foot, then pull back with all your might making sure to keep a controlled motion so as not to hurt yourself as well Once pulled back, do it again and again Soon, the bone should snap breaking through the skin and coming out the other side of the leg While painful and horribly broken, it should still function with a limp Without its sprinterdash; gaiturdash; the lizard won't be able drag you anywhere anymore no matter how stubborn it is Grip firmly on the front foot, Allright he is moving in for the kill, gotta try something different or this beast is going to make mincemeat out of your feet Some creatures in the swamps are bigger than others, and with size comes proportionate weight when thousands of pounds are heading your way it is best to get the hell out of the way Give yourself some distance from his charge, then give a tremendous leap to avoid his beating Allright he is moving in for the kill, The slipperyniss of the mud around you can impact the success of your catch The more it slips around, the easier you can lose your footing while jumping in another If this thing weighs what you think it does, you are going to need every bit of help you can get to stay balanced All of an alligators jaw power is on the down stroke of their ambush, so if you just get out of the way at least you have a chance to live, you do not want any part of him taking a chomp on you Get away as fast as you can while he is biting at nothing, and hope that you can keep yourself up right while your hands are covered in mud All of an alligators jaw power is on the down stroke of their ambush, The have almost no muscle power when it comes to opening the jaws The only worry is getting in his way while he rushes forward, and before you know it he will try to take a generous mouthful of your leg with him so that wide open mouth of his is useless against you as a weapon A belt on the inside of his mouth can do some serious damage if gripped in their teeth so be sure to keep your distance Trolls and ogres are tall creatures, making the vertical style of combat rather in their favor The have almost no muscle power when it comes to opening the jaws, You could hold it shut with one hand- that doesnt mean you should hold it shut with one hand A good troll can break your grip and that would be the end of you Keep it shoved tight with your foot while you tie it off tight with your sash Lacking thumbs and a rigid nails, a troll cannot open his mouth under normal circumstances This does not mean you should trust him one bit, as he will already be trying to rip off your foot inorder to breakfast on your tendons! The one hand covering the eyes can move down until it hooks down on the lower jaw Lift the alligators head off the ground and toward your chest for a moment, by his nose This will be plenty of time to latch your wrists together behind his head Now for the arm over the mouth With it being on top of the snout and your body weight holding it down after having lifted the gator overhead, his attempts at biting you will be futile Lift the alligators head off the ground and toward your chest, Once the head is at a ninety degree angle the gator can no longer fight back Now you have wrestled this alligator into submission, you can think on how to finish him off Most folks will be wanting to finish the beast in some sort of visceral way, either cutting his head from his body with an axe, or burning the heart right out of his chest With his mouth taped shut now you can however do something less labor intensive and a more suitable kill if you just want him dead quick Congratualtions you have wrestled the alligator into submission Getting off the gator Now that his mouth is taped up, he cannot attack you with it Also his mouth is full with sash, as such he also cann ot try biting you at all You may be thinking you can just kick your legs and force your way up over his back, however, that won't work either as your lower body is still underwater with only your legs outside of it Getting off the gator Now that his mouth is taped up, Push the gators head back to the ground and wrap one of your legs around the base of his tail Slide the leg out you had hold of the nose with up such that the knee is at the base of the top jaw Pull that same side arm through and slide it under the jaw from the opposite side Now reach over with the leg you used to hold the jaw shut knee first and push down on the top of it, thus lifting the lower jaw toward that side while you pull your other arm back through Push the gators head back to the ground and wrap one of your legs around the base of his tail Give your arm a solid yank backwards and your other hand should pop right out Slide the dominant hand back into a position to cover the eyes and pull the same side leg out and through such that the foot is right by the shoulder joint Give it another yank to get it all the way free of the gator's mouth as he snaps down in futility at where you just were Now with both hands free, remove the tape from his mouth completely and pat him gently on the head for good measure Slide the dominant hand back into a position to cover the eyes and pull the same side leg out and through such that the foot is right by the shoulder joint Pushing down with the domainate hand slide your other hand back along the jaw until it is pressing against the neck while you also lean back Pressing your legs against the side of the gator Halfway lift yourself, and twist using your braced leg and hooked arm such that the alligator is twisted over top of you Now shift everything close to the side and slide the arm that was next to the neck out from under Pushing down with the domainate hand slide your other hand back along the jaw until it is pressing against the neck while you also lean back Now that he has no leverage at all, kick your legs together to slide off the gator's muscular back Slide your dominat=jnt hand back from the eyes to the neck With other hand grab just under the front of the lower jaw and yank sharply backward This is just like from numerous TV shows and movies you've seen, people every times they catch a big ol' alligator You should be in the same position you where in when you started to battle this beast You are squatting on the gators back with the dominant hand reaching down to his right mouth hinge and your other hand grabbing under the bottom jaw Now all you have to do is pull straight back and push the jaw up with every once of strength you have Now because you are not trying to reach around his mouth but rather just from one side, you will end up resting part of your arm on his snout You are squatting on the gators back, Keep legs tight against the body and twist, that should be enough to get you up and over the gator and onto his other side Predictably the alligator struggles mightily against your very simple plan You are able to pull the mouth open a few inches but it is clearly too narrow and air is getting by your grip Let go and try this again Same thing again, you've put your gloves into his mouth ar far as you can Keep legs tight against the body and twist, Much more difficult for the alligator to bite you when you are on its back then when you are on its side You can reach the mouth on either side and it is narrower so you should be able push it open a little more Reach into the mouth and try to grab the sides, doesnt matter which ones as long as there is one on each That means one of your arms should reach clear to the back You pull at it with everything you have and still only manage to open it half way before your grip slips and he snaps it cruelly back shut When the animal struggles push it down again and repeat the process This ends up working but it take a long time When the back of its mouth is gaping wide you push your other arm in under it and cover your forearm with your hand, such that now both of your elbows are embedded in his mouth Make sure your arm is pushed down as you slowly pull it backward Even though the gator has no leverage to snap forward now it still fights against you When the animal struggles push it down again and repeat the process Dont let the animal stuggle free until you have completely pulled your arm out of the body AND got a good hold on the back of its mouth and your other hand is on the lower jaw closing it Doing so is probably one of the hardest things you have ever tried in your entire life! Something you were completely unaware of until right now, but this struggle has really taken it out of you, mentally more than physically Dont let the animal stuggle free until you have completely pulled your arm out of the body AND got a good hold on the back of its mouth and your other hand is on the lower jaw closing it Grip around the neck Depending on the size of the gator you may not be able to throw it very far If it actually comes off the ground it's somewhere between 3 and 5 feet perhaps Not very far Its clearly too large, even for such an idea and you going to have to resort to your backup plan, slitting it's throat and letting it bleed out Thats ok though, those are still very dangerous and you might get hurt, they aren't impossible Thats ok though, Six inches may be all you need to throw it forward far enough for it to be out of danger You place your feet firmly about 12 inches apart and squat down very low Wrap both hands around the gator's snout and position them about 6 inches apart Very important that the two grip locations are different widths, this is because the alligator CANNOT turn its head side to side when your hands are not dual flush against each other Six inches may be all you need to throw it forward far enough for it to be out of danger This puts it off balance and give you more time to escape the inevitable snap back Get both hands firmly around the snout, thumbs pointing towards it's mouth Thumbs ALWAYS up They are the weakest digits and it will allow the gator to slip it much easier This puts it off balance and give you more time to escape the inevitable snap back Jump back as far as you can and pull forward with all of your might, sliding the gator out and on the ground You jump back as far as the close surroundings allow and give it all you've got, bringing the gator to a narrow escape as it slides out a few inches The struggle is great and even though you maintain your grip upon the snout the thrashing and pulling nearly pulls your arms out of their sockets as you try to maintain control of its snapping head Jump back as far as you can and pull forward with all of your might, And keep moving backward And eventually you find some distance to let go and maintain a safe distance as the alligator thrashes about In your rush it unfortunately is caught under a fallen branch as its body contorts upon itself and you get the passable idea that perhaps you could make a club out to finish the job Its unfortunate that the only sturdy looking piece of wood is still in reach of it, but this is the only way you can think of to finish it off for good right now The gator will likely turn open its mout at you snarl or hiss issuing a challenge, but if you just decline to respond and concentrate your efforts at the back of its skull with your newfound bat you might be able to knock it out for good Going in for the kill The alligator snaps at everything simply because its nervous and predetory instinct is taking over It doesnt want to be captured and feels the need to get away, the most basic of animalistic instincts But this split second snap you see an opening The gator will likely turn open its mout at you snarl or hiss, Let it snap Just not at YOU I've seen it many times before and it's trained but has no real way of differentiating between friend or foe when its in this sort of a state You hit the back of its skull and when it snaps to the right, you go to the left and land blow after blow All of them go straight to the back of the skull leaving deep dents in the bone as all your might goes behind each swing Let it snap Keep your eyes on it and slowly back away even more when you think you've done enough This predator has been scared into submission and the animal inside isn't about to let it regain its sense any time soon The alligator quite simply was overwhelmed starting with seeing your large shape covered by the cloak and angled standing before it, then feeling the scratchy fibers of the material against its hide and finally the firm grip holding it tight when all other-like preditors simply brush it off or instantly overcome it's prey Keep your eyes on it and slowly back away even more when you think you've done enough If the gator chases you run away directly from it in a straight line until you reach somewhere it can't, then continue on your journey Your scent isn't going to be on it now and unless its head somehow hits 180 degrees it wont be able to see you in such darkness You pick up the rocks one by one you've dropped and put them back in your bag, pull out the lamp and pat yourself on the back for surviving that encounter If the gator chases you run away directly from it in a straight line until you reach somewhere it can't, It will grow tired quickly and find water to return too your attack probably saved its life and it will just resort back to following the river once again You ready yourself for the continued journey and turn out the lamp one more time, continuing on in the earthy brown tunnel which is steadily becoming wider as you travel You haven't eaten anything yet today but the grueling effort it took to bash that gator's skull in has given your appetite a checkmate It will grow tired quickly and find water to return too, Thats how you wrestle an alligator you bash its head in with a rock Thats how you wrestle an alligator, I see a shillotte image of a man wrestling a gator soon to come as I accidentally step on a dry twigging snapping it in two The crack is ear piercing and I am startled by a loud hiss directly behind me I turn around yet see nothing but hear another hiss coming from the right, then one more from the left I see a shillotte image of a man wrestling a gator soon to come as I accidentally step on a dry twigging snapping it in two All the percentage sliders need to be change th— I see three slithering shapes in the dirt illuminated by a sliver of moonlight shining down from the cracks above They're following the exact same rule I've seen all the others follow, always take the shortest route to your objective Although I doubt snakes are capable of extending their bone knives they've managed to cut themselves multiple times on the sharp edges of rocks strewn about on the ground All the percentage sliders need to be change, Take a litte bit from all when slid in' from shadow to shadow They have also taken to hissing when they've sensed my presence and have slowly been chasing me ever since Two identical ones have appeared right in front of me causing me to leap backwards and straight into the other one that was sneaking up on my left side Fortunately I keep my cool and fling myself the other way right before all three lunge at my legs Take a litte bit from all when slidin' from shadow to shadow The screen looks like the following although it is flipped on its side It wasn't long after you saw those other symbols that it began to get dark and now that you are lost in the cave system you had hoped would lead you out of this forsaken swamp it has become exceptionally dark, like the dusk of the dead of night kind of dark The screen looks like the following, [move to your left ][jump][ move to your right ] A big decision rests upon your shoulders once again You can try to follow the lights that you caught a glimpse of or try to intelligently backtrack your path Step two: Thinking about it, you remember that the lights seemed ot be coming from the right and after slamming sores on your shins a couple of times while backtrackingYou decide to head towards the lights This might seem like a rash decision to some but given that the sun hasn't risen yet and there are no birds or other daytime animals out and about, wherever these lights are coming from has to be better than out here Get control of the mouth the lights can be misleading Don't go into HIDDEN ENCOUNTERS until ready You need to be careful Don't become a victim TURN BACK, GO BACK from where you came from Step three: You begin seeing more and more lights as you cautiously trek through the undergrowth and before too long you notice something up ahead Get control of the mouth; Once on the gator you must get control of the mouth The lights can be misleading You should turn around and go back the way you came as this is almost certainly a trap! or You should continue onward and investigate the situation for yourself, it could have something to eat Picking up the pace, you begin to hear familiar sounds; cracking, crunching and hissing ahead of you Now that you have confirmation of food you quicken your pace but stay on high alert Silence is key! submission Once you see rows and rows of cages your pace slows and you begin looking around Something about this doesn't seem right Once again you've walked right into a trap! There are three possiblilities here You have two new buttons to push; TRAP and RUN TRAP takes you straight into another choose your own path book, this one was made for teens so the options are limited, if you're good at following directions then you'll probably enjoy this one Step four: get away safely or get trapped forever? Once you're inside the room your attention is drawn to a brightly painted arrow on the floor Walking over to it, you stare down at it in puzzlement when a door concealing an armory opens up next to you Step Thirteen: Another test! A choice has been placed upon you that cannot be negotiated or debated upon These librarians are wily indeed get away safely or get trapped forever? Once outside the room with the ticking timer you suck in a huge lungful of air and then exhale slowly, that was close You could have easily just ran straight past it and even then it wouldn't have chased you for very long but now that you've chosen to go inside it a number of things change 1) the portal back to your camp is gone Nitzi can still take you where you need to go as soon as you get her untangled but if you leave her here she ; (and her bad attitude) will be gone for good Takes a while to get new support troops and even longer to build up friendships with them so it would be a real shame to lose such a vital team member in this way 2) The timer on the inside has stopped, as soon as you walk back out that door the 60 seconds will begin again Well that sucks Hopefully the hobs will find you before the 60 minutes are up otherwise you'll have some serious decisions to make! Remember friendships are temporary in the world of politics kid Nitzi seems to be gone but the quest must go on! Who's gonna play the next song? First decision: should you run back to the camp and try to get everyone off the plateau before the clock expires or push onward towards the castle? This decision needs to be made quickly! Time to decide whether you stay or go This was a real predicament that many Hobgoblins found themselves in just two months before After constant raids upon several of the King in Red's newly built outposts and villages, as well as an attempt to assassinate him which failed, the sovereign was ready to declare open war against the Confederacy of the Free City States At first the Council of House and Senate dismissed any potential threat but, after several missives arrived from the King in Red demanding answers for these crimes against him as well as payment for damages, it was decided that there should be boots on the ground within Redheld territory and a full investigation Several sword companies were hired but the one that was picked to lead this mission, The Excursionists, were prominent members of the Confederacy and friends with many in the council so they got the job They found various pieces of proof that the Redcourt Mercenaries had been ordered to commit the attacks by the King in Red in exchange for payment Enough evidence was found to incriminate them along with letters from their exiled leader Argyle which proved enough to convince most of the doubters on the council as well The three detachments arrived at the City of Red just in time for the Grand Alliance's assault upon it, each nabbing their respective feudal lords and holding them ransom As the city state falls to the Grand Alliance and all seem lost, you notice the three detachments leaving You are unsure whether or not to follow them but decide it is best to leave with them, as any of the victorious soldiers may recognize you and want to ask questions Though your actions here have saved many lives and stopped the annihilation of svelk lives, you cannot help but feel like there is more to be done There is Year 45 "Damned hobs get off my lands! " You hear a man in a farmhouse yell before firing a musket This displays the general attitude of the Redpromers towards you, an outsider Which suits you just fine since it gives you an excuse to kill them Or rather it would if you didn't still have other matters to attend to that came first Like convincing the others that will one day be the rulers of this place that hobs can be dealt with permanently, something your dark elven side knows all too well Though your duties to the Confederacy are supposed to come first You've been increasingly putting off votes and meetings to go on missions for the past few years ; (something everyone has noticed) It's just one of the things you wonder about when you're in the middle of fighting off an invasion, should you really be sticking your neck out and going against orders? Of course whenever you're stuck in one of these debates with yourself your mind is always brought back to the question that it always revolved around "Why are you even debating this Merk, YOU'LL always do what's right! " Says the voice in your head This is why You're brought out of your thoughts by the musketeer dying and three large hobs approaching, seeing as all his friends have already been killed he runs into his farmhouse and slams the door This leaves you in a dilemma, the hobs are likely to just mob into the house and kill everyone inside, which would defeat the objective of thinning out their ranks but you could try to get to him first and take him out, protecting the family he leaves behind Another option is what you're already doing, just tackling the hobs before they reach the house And of course there's always the option to just leave and not get involved Every option brings its own set of advantages and disadvantages but then that's sort of always been your life rabbits lay down for phoofls Cursing softly under your breath you run towards the hobs, as you get closer one lets out a high pitched yell to alert the others Pulling the dagger out of the throat of hob you were stabbing you ready yourself to run at the next You burst in through the door only to find a terrified civilian and dying soldier You're sort of confused for a moment since it looks like you're in a barracks rather than a house, till you remember this is a farmhouse that doubles as a military outpost Feeling confused, confused and curious at what you'll find you almost don't notice the hob thrashing at the end of the bed