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kendallsdreamsong · 2 years

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okayyy heres the roman analysis. cw: discussion of nsfw topics (its about his sexuality. so), abuse (references to physical & emotional abuse, heavy discussion of sexual abuse), homophobia, ummm. yeah okay that should be it

romans sex deal is so interesting to me bc its a major facet of his character but its also so open-ended. there are the 4 main interpretations that ive seen; intimacy, power, queerness, and that hes a csa survivor

intimacy makes the most sense imo. he is most comfortable when he cant see the other party, with tabitha he creates this whole. weird necrophilia thing to justify not having to properly interact with her, and with gerri theres always something *between* them -- a phone, or a door, or the fact that they can never actually discuss it since gerri doesnt want her career ruined. this would also parallel nicely with shivs marriage issues, since those also come down to intimacy. shiv even says, in 3x07, "the relationship was fine sexually and you're loving the intimacy and all?" to roman and like. if anyone knows roman its shiv. self recognition through the other (derogatory). see also: tomshiv/romangerri parallels. theres not rlly much i can say here, its like. just metaphorical enough for it to be a theme but not Too much that its grasping at straws.

the only thing i'd have to say against the intimacy interpretation is that i think the fact that they explicitly said it in s3, *especially at kendalls bday party* (where the csa survivor implications are the heaviest), prob means theres something more. if that was meant to be taken straight-on as a whole explanation of romans sex issues then it wouldve been part of a major turning point in his arc -- instead, well. literally in the next episode dickpicgate happens. so. nothing changed. it reads as a one-off line that reflects more on shiv than it does on roman

if u want to read it as a power play thing, i think it has to be in combination with another interpretation. its certainly not enough to stand on its own, since most of romans sex deal is a Lack of sex. having said that, his relationship with gerri attests to this in a very particular way. it started with gerri degrading roman, with him seemingly taking less power in the relationship (which is only hammered in by the age gap), until u realize just how much power roman has over gerri. yes, gerri is a board member, but roman is a *roy*. yes, hes *roman* roy, but a roy nonetheless. he could ruin her career just by a wrong text message, and he almost fucking did! because he was too shortsighted with his own power that he didnt fully conceptualize how dangerous the game he was playing truly was, even though gerri told him time and time again. either way, their dynamic creates this interesting faux secession of power, in which roman can play a sort of. charade that hes less powerful than he truly is

queer interpretation: okay. this one… definitely has backing. i get that the bathroom thing is about masculinity and exclusivity, but its also very very gay to bring not 1, not 2, but 3 men into the bathroom with you. there is no heterosexual explanation for the mencken bathroom meeting. in any case, there are also lines with double meanings, like "i am a walking rainbow band" and logan saying to "get straightened out" when discussing his sex deal. which is. definitely one way to phrase it! roman also has a very noticeable reaction to being called queer/the f slur by logan, which to me says theres some truth to it. overall, i wouldnt say this makes sense as an Explanation of his sex deal, since yknow. his relationship with gerri is to some degree about sexual attraction, from what i can tell. i think hes just queer And has a lot of psychosexual issues. he can do both❤️ (i also left out a Lottt of examples of him being. so manliking. like his entire agreement to "seduce" eduardo, saying "i could rim with vim", etc. theres a 5 minute fancam of him just being gay and the only reason its that short is bc of tumblrs video limit. to give u an idea of just how not-straight he is)

the csa survivor reading is. well. okay. he has a tendency to separate "sex" from "bodies", for example when tabitha says shes wet he cringes and asks her to be less specific. even gerri and romans whole Thing carries with it the knowledge that it is solely gerri degrading roman, only mentioning his behavior and not his body. roman does say shit like "i'd lay you badly but i'd lay you gladly" but like. gerri has made it VERY clear that its not gonna get physical and they both know that. which means roman can make those advances without actually having to fulfill them. additionally, (edit: nvm im proofreading and this is all wrong, sorry i wrote this in the middle of season 2 i didnt know what was coming) he feels isolated from the family bc they think hes "weird"/"has something wrong with [him]". this can presumably be brought back to the dog pound, as thats when he "went weird" and was sent to military school. however we know that his recounting of the event that transpired is unreliable, seeing as kendall confirms later that that wasnt the whole story. ssssso. something big happened around the same time as the dog pound. we get mentions of bedwetting, which is a common symptom of csa, and he makes a Lot of incest/pedophilia jokes, particularly where he is the victim (see: "…said the father as the sexual assault allegations poured in" "like a camp counselor in my butt when i was 12"). like, um, more than any other sibling (except for shiv, whose incest jokes are also always about roman). ESPECIALLY in season 3, like. it feels like every time roman is on-screen in s3 theres some joke about him wanting to fuck his mom. in any case, this has all been talked about before. if u wanna see more about it, heres an article discussing it that i really liked: https://medium.com/@krpilon/successions-roman-roy-is-a-csa-victim-here-s-why-b96aa628fe71 . what i havent seen discussed while ppl talk about this interpretation/theory, is his role in the argestes panel. for a refresher: the panel was waystars initial statement following the news of the sexual assault and murders in cruises. shiv and kendall take haphazard turns making statements, while roman is notably quiet. now, u could just say that this is a metaphor for their respective roles within the company, and u'd be right -- shiv and kendall are really the only two that are at all being considered for ceo, while roman fades into the background, despite technically being there. but i wanna try out a different interpretation. lets take a look at the cinematography first. at ~50:56, kendall says, "we dont know." at the same time, the camera moves to romans face. kendalls voice is overlayed, "right now we just dont know". before zooming back out and focusing on the rest of the panel as kendall moves on. if were running with the csa survivor interpretation here, which we are in this case, this would reference people not knowing about romans sexual abuse, only bolstered by the fact that the argestes panel *was literally discussing sexual abuse*. finally, the only thing roman says during this panel is, "we'll do whatever anyone wants". again, double meaning. theres other stuff, like in 3x01 the camera focuses on roman when the possibility of logan sexually assaulting someone is brought up, but that was the most clear example i could see of cinematography being used to imply this

FUCK i forgot another thing with the csa interpretation. okay so like. theres sexual abuse within the company. thats a pretty big piece of season 2 and season 3. and we know that the violence of capital (abuse within waystar) is the violence of the family (abuse within the roy family). so it would make sense that there would also be sexual abuse within the family. this leads into theories surrounding rose as well, since if romans csa mirrors the sexual abuse in cruises, then the murder of rose would mirror the murder in cruises

IN ANY CASE. those are the 4 most common interpretations ive seen. i agree with all of them to some degree, but i also trust in succession's ability to throw us curveballs

#mine #txt #roman #this is the 1k word one #this was actually meant to be a dm but . i never actually ended up sending it #Hi Vin heres the roman analysis i was talking about a couple weeks ago #in any case. i dont even know how much i agree with this #i wrote the majority of it while watching season 2 #and then went in and added a couple things from season 3 once i finished it #but i havent actually like. edited anything #SO. who knows how this is gonna turn out

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makiema · 3 years

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finally finished writing about how much stormbringer enhances the skk dynamic which was at a nascent stage in Fifteen and anticipates the developments which happen later and culminate in Dead Apple where the faith they have in each other is absolutely remarkable! the fact that i said i’d do this in a few hours yesterday but it took me like 24 hrs to finish i have an attention span of a whole 2 minutes 💀

my favorite thing about stormbringer is that it actually builds up on the concepts/themes introduced in Fifteen so it's a glimpse into what has changed in dazai and dazai & dhuuya after one year of being together. As much as it's about chuuya confronting his past and his identity this is also about dazai’s development from who he was in fifteen. chuuya and rimbaud both left their marks on dazai and in Stormbringer we see him, actually trying to emulate or follow in a sense a way of life, that chuuya and rimbaud represented. Stormbringer is not just about chuuya, abt his test of humanity, or he coming in terms with who or what he is. it's about dazai too. it's about dazai developing or at least attempting to develop what he calls “boyish”/ “ordinary” in Fifteen. its not about chuya having an identity crisis. in fact what we understand from Code 04's last section is that chuuya never considered it as his crisis and neither did dazai. so to dazai “saving chuuya is important, human or not doesn't matter” and when dazai gives chuuya time to think abt what the operation will cost him chuuya doesnt so much as flinch form his purpose. This goes on to show unlike verlaine he doesnt care about memory and certainly doesnt consider it as the only determinant of someone being human. He cares more abt yokohama and his friends and in that, in caring abt his “family”, he is just as human as the next person. whether he’s factually human or not comes secondary to his desire to save people. This is a message that the quality of being human has more to do with embodying human qualities or humanity than having memories and lineage. so yeah stormbringer is essentially about embracing humanity but this happens on 2 levels: both chuuya and dazai embrace humanity. Going back to the boyish or ordinary bit, im talking abt this segment:

here dazai is shocked because he assumed everyone “gangsta” and everyone crazy powerful delighted in homicide, in deliberately indulging in the macabre. but he is proved wrong. He logically concluded that anyone with power more than average and belonging to the underground would kill people and delight in that because it’s a given they lack any kind of moral understanding. To that end, they’d be exalted at the prospect of relentlessly shooting a dead body, mutilating it and dishonoring it. The mafia code (any general mafia code) works in a way where honor and death goes hand in hand. So only the lowest of the low would do that to a dying person, who even when faced with certain death is loyal to his own organisation. This really shows that even within the mafia dazai is the only person whos like the devil incarnate. So yeah dazai at this sate far lower than even a mafia member. But chuuya who actually embodiess the mafia code and is incredibly loyal to his organisation and “family” [ putting family in quotes bc he himself calls his friends family 🥺] ofc kicks the gun away. From dazai’s pov chuuya being as insanely powerful as he is should also do the same. But chuuya comes along and suggests that even enemies should be shown respect where it’s due. And that is what an ordinary person, oblivious to mafia life (mafia life as in waht dazai makes of it) thinks. So in undermining the binary between “ordinary” and “mafia” chuuya proves that being mafia doesnt necessarily mean selling your soul to the devil and giving up the last smidge of humanity. In fact by embodying qualities like compassion and kindness and mutual respect, you can make the mafia a better place for yourself and for the other members. Now in Stormbringer, we see how this affected dazai. here dazai is introduced as someone mercilessly killing to set up the channel.

Now to expand the channel one would need to keep doing it right? To mercilessly kill ppl and stuff but instead what he does is hand the channel over to chuuya bc he knows chuuya wouldnt handle it like him. im not suggesting that dazai miraculously becomes v good or anything with dazai the key words is “try” or “to some extent” like in Fifteen when Chuuya asks “do u wanna live” he’s like “ not to that extent”. similarly its not to say he doesnt kill people anymore. it is that he tries to lessen the number of casualties by handing over one of the most troublesome channels to chuuya who would manage it in a much more humane way. That dazai draws from his friends/at least tries to is smth we’ll see again later on when he deals with akutagawa. He talks about odasaku and ofc its baffling to him that a mafia member as powerful as him would be taking acre of orphans. and dazai says but he cant afford to be that kind and proceeds to shoot akutagswa but again does so in a calculated way such that he doesnt end up killing him ( im NOT justifying dazai’s abuse not at all im just saying that its hard to believe he coincidentally knew the exact no of bullets that aku could block. and had odasaku’s words and his way of life not been in the back of his mind he could’ve ended up killing aku) coming back to chuuya and dazai we also see him avoiding further conversation on the jewelry channel thing as he says “leave that for now”. He does a similar thing again when mori brings up the concept of double suiciding with chuuya.

Its a HUGE thing for him to digest that him suiciding would inevitably spell the doom for chuuya. this puts an unimaginable responsibility on him. And he avoids further discussion on this. Now we know dazai is the rambly type. Even in the most dire moments he goe son with his LOONG monologues so really he is the last person who’d avoid a conversation but he deliberately does it in these 2 instances because its hard for him to grasp these things. That he can go against his nature and do a conscientious thing by handing over one of the most grisly channels to chuuya (i dont think dazai’s nature is evil. Or even if it is, its a a social construct keeping in mind the war ravaged times or its mori’s construct because he does exploit dazai to the hilt. but dazai ofc thinks of himself as non-human, devious. perfectly devilish...etc.) And also the fact that someone as suicidal as him is actually responsible for the life of someone else is really too much to take in. a whole 10 seconds pause indicates just how much he was thrown off when mori opened his eyes to the reality of things: if he dies, chuuya inexorably dies as a consequence. also i dont think the “wow” here or the next bit :

is something jokey. if it was like haha double suicide with chuuya is the worst haha wanna do it w pretty lady kind of a deal. that pause would have been unnecessary. dazai’s immediate reaction would’ve been whining and shit. the use of “froze” too implies the gravity of the situation. so ofc what is “wow” is how much meaning his life has for someone else. and for some so much....better than him. and what is unacceptable is this sad, sad truth that his life (to which he ascribes no value) would be so inextricably linked with someone else’s and hold so much meaning to them. it is like when a suicidal person at the brink of suicide understanding his life is not his own. his life and death holds consequences for ppl surrounding him. so both of these are huge things to grasp and at both these times dazai is visibly shaken up so much so that he doesnt want to do his favorite thing- ramble in a condescending tone. smth he does in so many instances. this really is a testimony to the fact that things are changing in him. the redemption process has begun. he’s no longer the kind of maniac he was before he encountered chuuya. when zuko underwent his transition in atla he was so shaken up after one (1) right decision he had a fever. i think this is true for anyone who’s trying to change. change is after all a huge thing for everyone. ofc he’ll be unsettled. so anyways this is proof that he has indeed come a long way from being someone who revelled at the prospect of meaningless bloodshed.

now coming to the concept of love he assumes he’d get sick of love and die:

and that death is the singular goal worth chasing after because it makes you feel more alive/get a fuller picture of what living entails. but here he is erring by supposing love is something that’ll bore him/have no meaning. and it cant provide him that “something” he’s looking for. at this point he hasn’t loved so he doesnt know whether he’ll be sick of it or if it'll have no impact. And yet he’s morose and regretful. this is a kind of self-imposed constraint hes putting on himself. he cancels out the v idea of love because hes convinced it isnt worth it. he hasnt even been in love okay scratch being in love that sounds romantic and i really dont mean love in a romantic sense here...its just love. in general. any form is cool. anyway so dazai is not familiar with any kind of love. He is entirely alien to the concept. he doesnt even know what a friend/partner is so he doesnt know what love is. this is cleared out here when rimbaud confesses he did everything for paul and dazai is unconvinced:

chuuya ofc admonishes him and shuts him up for good, he says dazai has no right lookind down upon smth he doesnt understand. he doesnt understand friendship, love. or loyalty. or how important those feelings are at this point. now this situation is turned on its head in stormbringer. but before we go into that let’s look at the message rimbaud had for both of them. ik he specifically asks for chuuya to “live” but there’s purpose behind including both of them in the frame. it’s a message they should both take to heart. and at the end of it its implied both are changed after hearing it:

and in this message the first bit is for chuuya. what he says is basically memory doesn’t make u human... ”you are you” just a frame or not doesnt matter. and even if hes just a frame, he is still beautiful. beauty actually is a v important concept in literature starting right from Plato to Shakespeare. i’d not bring this here but because bsd is so deeply rooted in literature i feel like the reference to beauty, and later on to soul and even warmth and also the universal tone of this message carries some meaning. so the thing is both Plato and Shakespeare were endorsed the idea of love as a force awakened in the world by beauty which then leads the soul to perfection. so humans and by extension, all life are beautiful frames that can inspire love. this concept is also there in Romantic poetry like Keats and Wordsworth all of them talked about loving beauty in nature and how that can elevate the body mind and soul. so essentially in telling this to chuuya what ehe basically means is that chuuya just by being him, by being a beautiful framework can inspire love and warmth in others and thats a great purpose! how much chuuya understands of this purpose with his one (1) braincell and his low self esteem is questionable but he gets some sense of belonging. now this is a two way relationship so ofc dazai has to be factored in. he comes in the next part:

these are from 2 different translation so the disparity im sorry ;-; but anyway, this last part abt the world being a cold place. then paul. then “warmth” is a message to dazai who’s been introduced to us as cold-hearted and having like no bearings of a human being. this is the reason why its important for both o f them to be there. now going back to chuuya being a beautiful framework, the framework can be beautiful in so far as its beauty is appreciate by someone and inspires warmth and love in someone. this again is the whole beauty/beholder nature/the romantic concept that is there in shakespeare and in Romantic poetry where both are a part of a codependent relationship. so what rimbaud implies here is that dazai can have that kind of a relationship with another person (chuuya) just like rimbaud had with paul which makes him warm and the world doesnt feel cold anymore. rimbaud has no regrets about what he did because. so the idea is that dazai and chuuya can share the same dynamic. also after this, the narrative says that their hearts are now changed and wont return to what they were before....and even their souls are refined in a way. but in Fifteen we dont have a concrete proof of how this happened bc the novel ends at this point. Instead, Stormbringer shows exactly how deep the impact of those words is:

this is the third instance of dazai showing hesitation and once again this has to do with chuuya. the seed of the dynamic that rimbaud was talking about is already germinating in him. his reactions, his fidgeting, his hesitancy, in response to chuuya’s situation is such a big contrast to his cocksure self when he’s conversing with adam and verlaine. after this of course we have:

not only does he clearly express his concern but he gives chuuya 2 whole mins to make a decision and based on that he’s prepared to overturn the operation. the success rate of an alternative plan will ofc be lesser than the og one but that doesnt faze dazai. he’s ready to turn the tide for chuuya’s sake and if this is not development idk what is. just a year ago, he was someone to whom the concept of rimbaud going thru all that trouble for his friend was a lost concept. ironically enough, now he finds himself doing something that is along the same lines. he puts chuuya above his mission. to him, chuuya is more important than getting a satisfactory result. another bit that i wanna talk abt is that one controversial section where dazai says he’ll save chuuya, human or not, and then the justification is:

i think a lot of people got mad bc of this and honestly at first glance i was peeved too. as a chuuya stan some of the shit dazai has done so far did rub me the wrong way. i love skk obv but still those were moments that kind of left a bad taste in the mouth. i’ll discuss them later on bc stormbringer helps allay that feeling. coming back to the “i wanna see chuuya suffer” part firstly context is important. ofc someone like dazai cant be expected to be upfront about his feelings with ppl (or AI) he barely knows. so what be relays to adam, is only partly true and its actually a kind of a twist in concept. the things is, and this is smth dazai knows all too well is that ppl suffer simply on account of being human. human suffering is brought on because humans, by virtue of being humans, feel. so when he says he’s willing to acknowledge chuuya as human despite what N and Verlaine said he’s already admitting that chuuya suffers. so there is really nothing “new” to see for him. he knows chuuya suffers already and he does too because they’re both humans trying to make it thru their messed up lives. also chuuya “ceasing to be human” is a p huge concern for him bc he himself is like that. just like with the suicide thing, it bothers dazai when someone else shares his situation/his fate like as long as his life is his own, he has no problem ending it whenever but the situation is complicated when someone else’s life span is determined by that decision. and similarly, as long as he is “no longer human” its not that much of an issue because he’s like resigned to a doomed fate but someone like chuuya ceasing to be human or worse yet never getting to know if hes human or not are pressing matters. so anyways what he actually means here is that in saving chuuya, he saves someone who suffers just like he does and in their case, even the cause of suffering boils down to a shared psychological conflict: what essentially constitutes being human and if im human or not. now this sharing of pain and suffering is the foundation of forming a connection with someone, which makes life a little better. here again, what rimaud imparted to dazai and chuuya is driven home. also dazai’s key anxiety is not finding meaning/anything. this “anything” can be assumed to be something that justifies life. so all his anxiety and frustration stems from the fact that there really is no discernible meaning to be found in the mechanism of life. so it is an empty pursuit because it is true that nothing can explain why feelings of pain and suffering are exponentially heavier than feelings of happiness or why after getting to experience one (1) free day we’re back to square one where life is grueling. these are questions that really dont have an answer so every time dazai like gazes into the abyss and says he didnt find anything, he is not so much asking if he’ll ever find anything as swallowing the hard truth that there is nothing to be found, no singular entity exists that can magically justify everything. again drawing upon literature or philosophy more specifically, there’s a concept called Absurdism which says the only philosophical truth so to say is this that life is absurd and looking for meaning is futile. instead what we can do is accept that it is absurd and deal with it in the best way possible, by finding little sources and moments of happiness, and strewing them together so we feel somewhat content. even if it is just for a fleeting second. and this happiness/contentment amidst a wretched life (altho temporal) can be found in friendship, in sharing, and even in having fun with people you’re comfortable with! this is actually why dazai wants to save chuuya and now it may seem like im interpreting his words through the shipping lens but thats not so and it can be corroborated by looking into dazai’s words to odasaku. after chuuya, dazai’s next attempt at friendship was odasaku who he found “interesting”. now when odasaku sort of like threw hands and chose death over having to live a life without the orphans, dazai tried to stop him not by saying stuff like life is good. and things will def change for the better. but instead he admits that living is hard and the sense of void is ubiquitous and yet he doesnt want him to up and die because then he would be sad. because the little comfort that he got from odasaku and something he probably assumed odasaku also got from him would be gone. [how much odasaku considered dazai a source of comfort remains unclear. in fact the reason odasaku gave up and died was because he did not have this. this feeling of sharing in someone else’s suffering and seeking comfort in friends in the real world. instead he was too vested in his ideal world. his over reliance on an entirely idealistic concept is actually what pushed him over the edge. and this would have been the case for dazai too had he not encountered and sought comfort and companionship in chuuya and eventually in odasaku ] so this again goes on to show how rimbaud’s words changed dazai’s heart. and in a way dazai really has been doing this unconsciously form the v beginning like by teasing chuuya continually in Fifteen. you dont expect someone as cold as him to indulge in friendly bickering and taunting so often but he does. that there is significance and even happiness in that is something he learns over time, after rimbaud’s words to him. although these things seem futile on the surface they give a moment’s respite. so although chuuya spinning dazai on a rope in stormbringer might seem weird to everyone, they still serve a purpose:

what shirase puts forward is particularly relevant here because neither dazai nor chuuya is fully aware of the extent of their feelings (or even what those feelings are like they dont know what label to put. so typical oblivious lovers) for each other or what they stand to gain just by driving each other nuts but there is something intangible but satisfying to be felt. a kind of contentment that helps him continue. one day at a time. there is no one great “thing” that can make him like wake up one day feeling like he doesnt want to die ever again. but again like i said before, the key word for dazai is “extent” so, these little things to some extent contribute to a sense of fulfilment which helps him keep death at bay. thats why he’s bent on saving chuuya bc he knows they can share in their suffering and make life better for each other. its not like he wants chuuya to suffer. chuuya will suffer nonetheless like every other human. but in suffering together there is something to be found so he doesnt want him to cease being human.

this covers more or less the intertextuality between Stormbringer and Fifteen. i just wanna talk a bit more about a couple other moments in Stormbringer that i feel are p important because they put some things in the series in perspective and also made the dead apple moment 10x more emotional 🥺 one thing that really strikes me is the absolute fanon level of comfort that dazai and chuuya share in Strombringer. its like scenes form k-drama lol.

so yeah this stuff. compare this with dazai’s reaction @atsushi when he drops im not saying that its not just a joke and that what im saying should be the right way to look at this contrast. its not like that at all. but what this does is give an estimate to the readers just how close and comfortable dazai feels when its chuuya. and this plus everything i rambling on abt for so long also gives us an estimate about the sincerity of dazais feelings. now 2 things always bothered me : the fact that dazai actually left chuuya and the fact that after the fight against lovecraft he actualy deserted him (this again can ofc be construed as just a humorous bit but still it did leave a bad taste in my mouth) dazai leaving the mafia is ofc something he had to do to fulfil oda’s dying wish but it still dint sit right with me that he would abandon chuuya. just like oda levaing is harder on dazai, dazai leaving is harder on chuuya. its always harder on the one left behind. so anyway, these sorts of things sometimes made me doubt dazai’s feelings but now that stormbringer clears it all up i do think there is a larger motif at work here. when mori offers dazai to come back to the mafia in s2 we see him saying that it was mori who kicked him out and that he did so because he was afraid dazai would usurp his position. so he set it up in a way that dazai would be forced to leave but on his own accord. now more than usurpation i believe what mori really did fear is that dazai had no allegiance to the mafia (which is actually true) bc he doesnt have that sense of loyalty and that to him his friends were more important than swearing allegiance to mori. (which again is true). so by getting oda killed, the message that mori seemed to be giving out was if dazai didnt leave he would do it again. and if we consider ango’s betrayal which had already transpired at that point, the one mori would next target to sort of get at dazai would inevitably be chuuya. this is only conjecture but still, i do believe this might as well be true because then it would explain why dazai didnt carry chuuya back to the base after their fight [something he was v comfortable doing in Stormbringer. in fact in the first case he carries chuuya back to the billiards bar and not to the mafia’s base so he could hear albatross’ last words 🥺] its because mori needs to know unlike dazai, chuuya is absolutely loyal to him which regrettably he is. it kinda becomes imperative therefore on part of dazai to make it seem that way to mori. that they really are at each others throats and that dazai is insignificant to chuuya. and that the mafia comes before dazai. (which is not true bc we see chuuya protecting his friend [shirase] while also staying loyal to the mafia in Stormbringer)

mori also in his own way tries to provoke hostility b/w them like in Dead Dpple when he was all like yeah so dazai is the star and chuuya is merely bait. so it kinda makes sense if dazai left the mafia not only to like do good work but also to protect chuuya from mori. also the fact that chuuya did the same thing— left the Sheep and joined PM to protect Shirase from the mafia makes be believe that my speculation is plausible given all the parallels we find between dazai and chuuya.

and the last bit is about the brilliant Dead Apple scene and how much added context it gets in light of Stormbringer.

in this scene dazai first says: “you used Corruption believing in me?” and then the translation is “how beautiful” which is an okay translation but the exact thing dazai said was “nakasetekurerune” which literally is : youre gonna make me cry you know? now my knowledge of japanese is like duolingo level but i do know “nakasete” has to do with crying and “kureru” is used by the receiver to indicate he’s receiving a feeling/object from someone close. so basically chuuya trusting him is something so beautiful that it could almost move him to tears. now lets look at dazai’s intro in Stormbringer:

dazai, being dazai, ofc would be able to tell genuine trust from fealty out of fear so ofc the fact that chuuya has this kind of blind faith in him is overwhelming for him. also stormbringer really expands on the sight effects of Corruption in full detail. its so PAINFUL and to think that chuuya would jump into it right away for dazai’s sake.....no wonder he is so soft when deactivating him. and then he proceeds to flirt for a little bit with the Snow White and the kiss of life reference. but this flirting doesnt seem even a little out of place now. it doesn't feel like smth meaningless or smth that dazai is just saying as a joke. that there is absoluetly no subtext to making a statement like that. instead that kind of flirting feels like smth inspired from a deep, deep familiarity with someone who really shares his heart and soul. when he talks to chuuya abt the problem of not knowing whether he is human or not, it is a problem that is as central to him as it’s to chuuya. not feeling fully reconciled to a human identity is a problem thats fundamental to both of them. I don’t think familiarity gets any deeper than this where you share the exact same psychological problem. so its really wonderful how we can trace the skk development now: what starts out as a crush on part of dazai or not a crush exactly rather, a feeling of perplexed admiration because chuuya is breathtakingly beautiful inside out, eventually gain all these layers and develops into something meaningful where they have so much faith in each other and where they literally help each other live. knowing someone out there shares your exact issue so you’re really not alone in this is perhaps the greatest comfort in the world. also now its clear how both of them would have turned out had they not met each other and had they not taken in rimbaud’s advice. chuuya in his desire to learn about himself and frustration at not being able to do the same would have perhaps spiralled downward and ended up becoming like verlaine. he is his double here after all. and had dazai not seen chuuya up close being the wonderful person he is, he too would have probably ended up developing a god complex and becoming like fyodor. dazai is there to save chuuya literally from dying a monster and chuuya is there to remind him he too can try and mend his ways and embrace his human side. after all chuuya has so much trust him in! (despite him having questionable methods) for both of them, it starts out as an attempt to be more human, then establishing a fruitful partnership, and finally coming in terms with their feelings to some extent. for dazai, he’s comfortable enough to engage in occasional flirting at this point and for chuuya it’s playing along with dazai’s antics (well with the ones he get 💀 pretty boy has half a functional braincell) and openly showing his concern for him. so really by confirming their feelings what strombringer does is enhance the skk development in a way that Dead Apple doesnt seem like fan service anymore. the fact that dazai would casually flirt or be comfortable with chuuya landing on his crotch 💀 all that isnt as ridiculous as it first seemed because stormbringer lays the groundwork and anticipates all the intimate/flirty skk moments that have happened till now and ig will happen again soon.

#bsd #stormbringer #soukoku #dazai osamu #chuuya nakahara #bungou stray dogs #stormbringer spoilers #bsd meta #bsd analysis

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adorable-deku · 3 years

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have any of yall watched psycho pass? no? great, bc im gonna steal some ideas from it and make a bnha au

ok, so in this world, ever since quirks became widespread, a system was implemented where peoples 'crime factors' would be measured based on quirk, parentage, and mental state (the parentage part is to measure gentic propensity towards crime, which is an iffy concept but an authoritarian govt would use it). these crime factors decide what kind of job you can have in the future, the places you are allowed to go, and so on

the lower this number is, the 'less likely' this person is to commit a crime (whether this is true or not, there are some debates). people with middle of the road quirks tend to get the lowest numbers, vs. ppl with weak/no quirks or powerful quirks. quirks which are not necessarily powerful but greatly increase the ease of committing crime, like shinsous or kuroiros also get pretty high numbers

parentage: if your parents have low crime factore, its highly likely you will too, and vice versa. they dont play as much of a part but if a child is born of, say, a mass murderer, thats gonna jack their crime factor up super high.

and: mental state. this one is not as applicable to children since many children (in this au) live similar lives but a mentally unstable child may have a higher crime factor. this comes more into play as people age

if people have low crime factors and relatively powerful quirks, they can become heroes. if they have higher crime factors, they can still *technically* become a hero, but only under the submission of another person with a lower crime factor. they essentially have ankle monitors and chokers that constantly monitor their location and crime factor, and can either constrict or inject quirk suppressants if something is off

children with high crime factors are taken away from their parents no matter the reason and kept in different facilities depending on a variety of other factors

so, one day, a child who is, for all intents and purposes, normal shows up to their crime factor measuring. his crime factor shows up extremely, extremely high

he had a quirk but he doesnt know how to operate it yet, so it cant be that. the system cant analyze quirks without having some idea to what the quirk is. his mentality is similar to that of a regular childs, so its not that

parentage.

all is normal on inkos side. she has a relatively low crime factor and works as a therapist (she had a lot of work). the fathers side, though. is an issue. theres no match for his dna.

the only person who has no crime factor in the system at all is all for one, and that is because neither he nor his dna has ever been in the system. by the time it was really up and running, he was already amassing his supervillain creds

midoriya izuku is quickly isolated from his mother, and the world entirely. vaulted, if u will, though not hy his father. his crime factor is so high that very few people even think to question it, and these are the people that were questioning the justifications of this system in the first place

inko drops off the grid after her son is taken away. she will find his father and she will get her son back, no matter what it takes

and she does

she finds all for one

"hey i kind of had a kid when we slept together six years ago and now hes been kidnapped by the govt, mostly because of you"

all for one still thinks inko is breathtakingly beautiful so he resucues her son, it also gives him very good and justified reason to criticize the way the country is run

izuku is finally reunited with his mother, but with the entire govt system on his tracks, trying to get him back

i guess this would be another tale on the ethics of danger control and overthrowing authoritarian governments

#bnha #midoriya izuku #deku #boku no hero academia #mha #my hero academia #dad for one #bnha au #dfo

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osferth · 2 years

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You like Brida?😳 I mean i liked her until season 4, in season 4 she’s just so annoying. Also in the books she’s just awful.. she castrated Uhtred’s son and crucified lots of christians.

i love brida!!! i feel like she has every right to be angry and hurt especially from s3 onwards - if u look at it from her pov uhtred left many times, and then just as she was dealing w his latest departure, ragnar was murdered :( ik she had all those men but she must've felt even more alone after losing the people she cared about

(including thyra!! their relationship is barely explored which sucks but i imagine they have a strong one, so thyra leaving at the same time as uhtred must've hurt too)

in s4 ofc she's w/ cnut and is pregnant w his child!!!! before finding out he was responsible for ragnar's death - so even tho she avenged him in the end by killing cnut it obviously hurt her even more.

and then rather than having her wish to be sent to valhalla fulfilled by uhtred, from her pov uhtred just let her get enslaved by the welsh (although i can sorta understand his hesitation to kill someone he's known for so long, but her feelings r still v much valid)

edit: he didn't even attempt to go back and rescue her despite knowing she had been enslaved + instead left her there indefinitely, so 😬

brida doesnt even get half the sympathy uhtred did after being enslaved either, like i understand she wasn't a slave for as long as he was but she clearly suffered a lot physically and mentally :(

i think her character was written to seem like an obvious villain in s4 which isn't great, so if u take that into consideration as well as all this then i honestly feel really bad for her and her character

(also disclaimer im ofc not justifying her acts in the books!! - i havent read them so i cant Reeaallyy judge how her character is written, but what i will say is that - like in the show - a lot of characters like uhtred do just as many things that would be seen as terrible but aren't villified for them in the same way as brida is, bc they're the "heroes" while she is the "villain" - e.g. in s3 when uhtred set fire to that entire village : i never rly thought about how messed up that actually was until i did another rewatch recently,, yikes)

#the last kingdom #brida #like yeah ill always find osferths line just before that rly funny #'he'd love hell' 💀#but the way uhtred got away with burning an entire village to the ground for the actions of a few men is literally insane to me #i think if ppl r gonna attack brida for stuff like that they should look at other characters like uhtred in the same way #also!!!!! i didnt mean for this to turn into an essay LMAO #i have an actual essay i need to write in german now 😭#ask #btw u are entitled to ur own opinion ofc!! i just wanted to put all what i thought cuz i have FEELINGS abt her

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thompsborn · 3 years

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do you have any spare ironhusbands or sambucky headcanons?

ABSO-FUCKING-LUTELY

oh my god okay i’ve been so fucking wrapped up in both ironhusbands and sambucky and absolutely nothing else for WEEKS because of tfatws (obviously if you have seen my endless spam of reblogs but can you BLAME ME) and the portal closed has ironhusbands so i’ve been just. oh my god i am happily drowning in this and them and i do not need nor want air. ok.

also these are all hc’s based just in canon not au, and lol warning this got so long help me, though my brain is so scrambled from tfatws finale that all sambucky thoughts are scrambled and jumbled so i wasn't able to coordinate them as well as ironhusbands so the ironhusbands section is definitely longer pfighf i'm so sorry i'm like this

ironhusbands:

when they met at mit tony didnt know shit. like. like nothing. he didnt know a single god damn thing about anything. like he was a genius he could solve any equation given to him and baffled professors when he was handed like two supposedly impossible equations to this fuckin fourteen year old and he just looked at them with like a mcdonalds burger or some shit hanging out of his mouth and just answered them no problem, but he was still such a hopeless idiot, and rhodey, also a genius attending as a sixteen year old, had to teach him the basics of life, like. making toast. tony how do NOT know how to make toast. its TOAST. you put it in the TOASTER. have you NEVER SEEN A—OH MY GOD HOW DID YOU FUCKING CATCH IT ON FIRE—

he does not perfect the clearly impossible task of making toast until he is 17 and rhodey buys him a cake to celebrate the momentous occasion even though tony went though 528 toasters

you are gold by the national parks. thats it. thats all i have to say. listen to the song and look up the lyrics. you’ll get it.

and also paper planes by jon bellion but specifically for after rhodey tells tony he’s gonna join the air force and tony is worried but doesnt know how to show it and they have like a chill night in and all tony can think about is how stupid he is and how he’s such a coward because he cant get himself to tell rhodey that hi!! i love u!! and im scared to lose u and that you’ll get hurt and maybe die or smth!!

when rhodey finds out about how tony was raised (going with mcu, where tony wasnt physically abused but more emotionally neglected and ignored by howard and always talked down to and compared to others and wasnt treated like he was worthy and never was told he was loved and everything like that) he gets PISSED. like he is MONUMENTALLY angry. and it takes YEARS for him to find out about this too. and it actually puts a bit of a strain on their friendship for awhile when they meet too

like rhodey knows about the starks obviously and he assumes tony is going to be this obnoxious arrogant rich boy asshole and is so not looking forward to being roommates but he was raised to have an open mind and give everyone a chance, but tony was raised to be wary of everyone and keep his walls up and his emotions in shackles because whatever he shows can be used against him, so they clash, you know? they dont fight or anything but theres tension bc it isnt right and they dont get each other.

rhodey tries to be nice and tony doesnt understand nice because his only example of nice is jarvis and his mom and even then his mom and jarvis are always off with his dad so he barely sees them so its still rare for him to experience the nice of them so he doesnt know how to be around someone nice all the time, and so he gets defensive and thinks about how howard drilled it into him to be wary and he thinks maybe rhodey isnt ACTUALLY nice but someone PRETENDING to be

and rhodey starts to feel justified in assuming the worst about tony stark because tony is all cold and distant and rude and is about to stop the keeping an open mind thing about a month into their first year but then he comes back to their dorm early from class one day and tony doesnt come in so rhodey is just standing there and watches for a minute as tony sits there staring down at his twenty sixth attempt at a letter he wants to send his mom becauss he knows his mom likes letters even though he could just call but they havent really called him (howards fault but he’s fourteen still and its hard to rationalize that howards busy life and controlling thumb extends past his son) and rhodey is just confused because tony just suddenly sighs and sniffles a bit and murmurs “this is so stupid” and crumbles up the paper and throws it in the garbage and rhodey cant help but peer into it and barely sees the words hey mom scribbled at the top and that. that. hm. okay.

so rhodey keeps trying because he wasnt supposed to see that but he did and now he kind of has a feeling that maybe tony isnt all that cold and distant and rude as he seems, maybe he just doesnt really know how to be any different, so he thinks about all the subtle little ways that his family has shown him they care about him and starts to invite tony to go get food or to study together even though neither of them really need to study or to help each other with assignments or just anything thats mundane enough to not raise suspicion but still starts to open the door and make tony relax around him just that little bit and then before tony realizes it the end of their first year is there and theyre like friends or something and it hits him that he’s gonna miss rhodey.

for the first time ever there’s someone other than his mom and jarvis that he’s actually going to miss.

rhodey grins at him and says that they’ll be roommates again next year because they have to be and that the summer will be over before they know it and the sentiment is nice but tony spends the summer alone wandering around a house too big and empty after being in a dorm that’s small and has a friend.

but rhodey doesn’t know this. like he knows that tony isn’t the kind of guy he originally assumed but he doesn’t know that he’s literally ignored and neglected and like emotionally and sometimes verbally abused so he’s kind of surprised when the next year begins and they DO end up being roommates again (because tony kind of asked his mom, on a rare day when he got to see her and howard wasnt around, to get mit to make sure they could be) and tony just HUGS him like its been years and they’ve known each other forever but he goes with it and hugs him back because maybe tony’s just more affectionate once he gets to know someone and rhodey is okay w that.

they get closer as the years go by and they graduate from mit together and they’re BEST friends and at the end of the year rhodey invites tony to spend new years eve w his family but tony cant bc howard is having some kind of gala starting at 5 because hes weird and dumb and tony hates it and he also isnt given the option of not going even though he doesnt want to but the entire way there howard drills into him about not fucking up and berates him for all the times he has in the past and when they get there tony is already just not feeling it so he’s like nope!! no!! i simply cannot!!

so he goes in and finds an exit thats in the back and he leaves and finds a fucking payphone of all things and he has rhodeys home number memorized for years now and he calls and someone he doesnt knoe answers and theres music in the background and voices and tony’s entire stomach is in his throat and his heart is sunken into his twisted gut because he just wanted one night where maybe he could smile next to his parents and feel like he fit with them but he couldnt have that and he asks to talk to rhodey and then he is and asks if its too late to accept his invite and rhodey is like yeah of course do u need my address bc its still only 5 pm and its a 2 hour drive between south philadelphia and manhattan so he’d make it with plenty of time before it got to midnight so yay

and tony is like. oh. hm. i dont know how to drive actually. that was a thing that no one ever thought to teach me even though i asked about it about ten million times. and rhodey is used to tony not knowing how to do things that most people their age can (see: the toast) and plus its not uncommon for people from new york to not drive anyway so he doesnt think anything of it and instead asks for tony’s address to come pick him up instead and they’d still make it back by like 9-9:30 so that would work too

and thats when tony is like. well.

about that.

he might be calling from a payphone.

on a random street corner.

and its kind of raining. and he’s cold. and he’s a bit dulled out from everything so he doesn’t really think about the fact that admitting this is going to lead to having to explain what happened and also why and that is happens often. but that doesnt matter because he kind of just wants to be with his best friend and not back at that gala with his dad right now.

rhodey is like,,, ok. ok. wheres a coffee shop nearby u can wait in. and tony thankfully is by a 24 hour one and tells him the name and the street corner its closest to and rhodey is like i’ll be there asap and tony goes and he waits.

a two hour drive turns into an hour and a half because rhodey is Worried™

but when he walks in tony goes from being all dulled out to being all HOLY SHIT because rhodey has a SPLIT LIP and he’s like WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED WHAT THE FUCK WHAT

and rhodey’s like no no its good my uncle was having fun and trying to wrestle with me and he accidentally elbowed me its all good man dont worry about it

tony isnt used to accidentally being hurt tho so he’s still like hmmm but he takes rhodeys word on it and they head out and tony wont say what happened or why he was calling from a payphone ?? which btw tony literally only was able to do bc there happened to be dropped change on the ground because boy would not have change on him ok, but rhodeys like alright lets go with this for now

so they gets to the rhodes house and it is in full swing with family and extended family and adopted family bc they are 100% the family that just adopts the neighborhood kids and the people who have no one else and like ex boyfriends and ex girlfriends even after the relationship ends bc they still are family despite not dating whoever it was they had been dating in order to be introduced to them so its a LOT of people and tony is like. this is semi familiar in terms a lot of people but this is NOTHING like what he has ever seen before holy fucking SHIT

rhodey is just like oh u have a small family then? so ur used to smaller gatherings?

and tonys like wtf are gatherings

and rhodey is starting to get a feel for what might be wrong but just takes tony inside to get him changed because he’s not spending new years eve at the rhodes house in a fucking expensive suit ok

tony is completely out of his element and like he’s not the only white guy there bc again the rhodes adopt people and those people are of every race and nationally you can imagine but he just isnt used to the vibe there are people laughing and sitting close together and playing games and theres music playing but not like classy music its music people can dance to and are dancing to and the food isnt the food he’s used to at galas and shit and nothing is what he’s used to and he just sticks to rhodey’s side like a fucking lost puppy and tries his best not to look like an idiot when rhodey introduces him to people and a lot of them know who he is but dont judge him or assume shit about him bc obviously if he’s friends w rhodey then he’s a good guy and they want to know him and thats enough

but tony is v overwhelmed bc what the FUCK IS HAPPENING this is nothing like anything he has ever experienced EVER

so eventually rhodey can tell he’s getting overwhelmed and takes him inside and lets him have a breather and then asks him about whats going in and thats when rhodey learns about what tonys life at home is really like and. anger.

SO MUCH anger

because not only has every single assumption he has ever made about tony been proven wrong, but now he knows that the best person he knows has never been treated the way he deserves and has never known a true home and comfort and love and safety and

and he’s gonna fix it

and this is the first step

so he takes tony back out and they’re still just friends but this is the day they both quietly realize they might kind of definitely like each other as more because tony is still so confused by the fact that what he knows isnt the normal and overwhelmed by how much there is and how different it is but rhodey holds his hand as a grounding point and whenever it might be too much they move off to the side where they arent completely gone but its less hectic and a bit more quiet and its just nice

tony goes to rhodeys house for every holiday despite whatever howard says

rhodey decks howard the only time they ever meet before tonys parents die and he has the most shit eating grin on his face afterwards that tony cant help but lose his shit laughing his ass off

anyway i didnt mean to ramble for so long about that specific idea so i’ll end the ironhusbands ramble with this one last thought, which is as follows:

rhodey gets hurt in the air force at some point, and it isnt that bad tbh but he does have to go the hospital and shit and gets stitches or whatever idk i dont know what specifically happens i just think it’d be just bad enough that it takes him a few weeks to be able to go back to work but he’s not like OH GOD HURT yk?

but like stated above tony was scared and worried when rhodey told him he was gonna go into the air force so he hears about this and they’re probably like almost 30 at this point because they’re dumb and it takes them forever to get their heads out of their asses (i say this even though in the portal closed it takes them even longer but i digress) rhodey has like his mon his sister his niece visiting him and they were worried but they know hes fine so theyre just talking and in a good mood and then—

door slams open. tony stark enter stage left. disheveled suit, fresh from a meeting he definitely was not supposed to leave, having flown in from maibu the second he heard and then had happy drive him and then got impatient because of traffic and ended up sprinting like ten blocks while happy was like what the FUCK

of course rhodeys family are well aware that these idiots are desperately in love with each other so they’re just like lol ok and just leave the room while tony starts fretting over him like he’s about to die himself if he doesnt know if rhodey is okay and rhodey is like tony tony dude tones stop tony im okay tony stop it

until finally tony just fucking breaks down like full on tears in his eyes voice cracking hands clasped as he leans against rhodeys bed and tells him that he was so scared and he is so scared all the time whenever rhodey is out there because all he can think about is losing him and him getting hurt or dying and it’s maddening and this is when they get their heads out of their asses and kiss for the first time

(irony at its finest bc later when they are married and tony becomes iron man rhodey refuses to not have a suit of his own because if tony is going out there in a metal flying tin can then he isn’t going alone and wow what a power couple)

sambucky:

firstly i’m going to go post tfatws, but i’ll make a bullet point before going into it so if you wanna read up until that point you can but most of this will be random little headcanons based post tfatws

also it isnt like a whole plotline thing like the ironhusbands ones ended up being these ones are more random and kinda all over the place but loosely connected

update from after writing this: i lied

let me start by saying my interpretation of why they are the way they are in civil war is because of steve

thats not saying steve is the bad guy i mean to say that they’re jealous of each other because they thought that THEY were steve’s best friend who the fuck is THIS guy i dont want him here go away

children. they are children.

which i find very funny to imagine from sams pov because he literally is a licensed therapist and would 100% recognize why he’s acting how he is but he’s petty enough to do it anyway

and also he literally was helping steve track bucky down but i like to imagine that sam didnt think they’d ever really find him again and it’d just make him and steve like super mega best friends or something because hes a CHILD

and then from bucky’s pov steve goes through all this trouble to find him and protect him and then this random guy is acting like steve’s best friend and gets to sit in the front seat ??? bullshit. absolutely bullshit. worst thing ever. so stupid.

its so funny to me okay its SO funny

its like that schoolyard thing where your friend makes another friend and you hate it so much that you do something stupid like color on their drawing or put gum in their hair or whatever but they’re adults with 1. super soldier serum or 2. a superhero reputation/avengers status and suit with wings. so thats a thing.

post civil war i dont think they get much yk. because bucky is out in cryo and team cap is on the run and i doubt theyre able to return to wakanda much, if at all, and then it’s infinity war and then it’s endgame and after endgame there’s the aftermath and the aftermath is a mess

i like to think they have some moments before tfatws though. not many but enough for that slight foundation thats we can kind of see in episode 2 yk.

okay NOW it gets into post tfatws so!!

SO post tfatws everything is different because now they not only have spent all this time together, but they understand each other in a way that they didn’t before. in a way no one ever has. not even steve, who may have known them before, but he isn’t here anymore and he wouldn’t understand who they are now vs who they were before and it’s different.

bucky finds comfort in sam’s home town. sam finds comfort in watching bucky find a home there and he doesnt know why.

also sam treats redwing like a puppy and lets him fly around on his own and gets pet and stuff and bucky acts annoyed but the longer it happens you can tell he’s like “oh my god why is this thing endearing”

bucky has nightmares and sam knows this but bucky doesnt know that sam also has nightmares until one night when they’re still in sams home town and they’re staying on the boat because sams nephews are having a sleepover with some friends and they didnt want to get in the way or smth idk i just want an excuse for them to be on the boat and somewhat secluded from people but bucky already woke up from his nightmare and is out on the deck to get some fresh out and then oop

sam havin a nightmare too

because fucking of COURSE sam has nightmares he has been through some shit too!! not being able to catch riley and everything that happened since meeting steve and thanos and he turned to dust alone in the bushes ok like yes everyone that died were traumatized undoubtedly (peter my baby boy baby im so sorry that you got the worst of it) but bucky was around people but sam was laying on the ground and probably just watched his hands as he disappeared and he was alone and like. jesus christ ok.

and then steve trusted him with every weight and everything that comes with the shield not knowing how much more the shield has when he gave it to a black man and just like he has nightmares everyone in marvel does its a fact

but bucky finds out like this and he is shocked even though he realizes he probably should have been able to guess that this is a thing and he knows so much more about sam now than he ever did but this is how he learns more. he learns about riley. he learns so much.

sometimes bucky has those like “oh shit” moments where he’s like “maybe i was kind of a dick to someone who didnt deserve it” and he already had one of those with sam about the shield but he has another one because he assumed shit about sam when they were being all childish and jealous about someone else being friends with steve but like fuck

steve and sam probably got it

the not catching someone. the way it felt to try and to reach out and to miss and to have to choice but to watch as they fell.

what’s different is that steve got bucky back. he got to have that relief, eventually, even if there was the pain of knowing bucky had been taken by hydra, but at least he knew bucky had made it.

sam didn’t have that. riley didnt make it.

therefore, bucky has his “oh shit”

and bucky was already going soft around the edges with sam (as clearly seen in the last two episodes of tfatws, ESPECIALLY the finale because like did tou SEEZ ALL THE HEART EYES oh my GOD) but it’s this that really makes something in him melt and he just. he loses the last remnants of whatever tension or resentment or whatever negative feeling he may have been clutching onto.

there wasnt much left. but now theres none. now its all washed away.

its gone, and he gets it.

sam is a licensed therapist and he knew the reason he was being all dumb and childish and jealous with bucky was because steve had another best friend but also because steve’s other best friend was the guy that had been a big factor in how him and steve understood each other and how they bonded and it

it had kind of felt like they lost part of that when they found bucky again in civil war and he kind of wanted to blame bucky for it even though he didnt actually blame him at all so all it translated to was that dumb kind of jealous thing instead

but now it’s just them. its sam and bucky and it isnt steve and it isnt about steve and it shouldnt be because its about them. its about the boat and the water and the way they sit and watch the waves while the silence settles over them and the way that bucky says, “im sorry.”

its the way sam says, “me too.”

and bucky says, “you dont have to be.”

its the way they stay there until sarah comes to get them for breakfast and sams nephews convince them to play with them and their friends and the world is still shit and there is so much to do but

but its this and its them and that can wait

it can wait

they can take their time if they want to

maybe they’ve earned that much, at least

(it isn't a fast development because they're a complicated pair and there's so much to the two of them that need to figured out individually before they can even realize how well they work together, but the steps are so much easier knowing that they have the other in their corner and bucky knows that sam's home town is a place he's welcome to go and sam helps him make his own dreary little apartment into something that feels real and tangible with a bed and a couch and when they've become something that resembles stable and they've found a balance and they're okay, that's when they realize that maybe they can try for the more that sometimes bubbles under their skin and that they started to think about the more they spend time together. the warmth that sam feels every time he sees bucky playing games with his nephew and the smile that bucky has to fight to hide and still can't fully suppress when sam stands tall and proud with the shield in its rightful place, and it takes time, it takes work, it takes carefully placed bricks to build the foundation they need, but they get there, and when they do...

when they do, they're already happy, and it just makes them happier, and that's what makes it so much better.

that's what makes it worth the wait.)

#ironhusbands #sambucky #headcanons #asks

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bitchynaruto · 4 years

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Hey so I read your post about Sasuke not using the mangekyo (however u spell it) Sharingan bc he knows how it is to be tortured by it but still uses it on sakura. And I’m curious about something.

Idk if you think this but I read somewhere that sakura “forced” Sasuke, by manipulating and/or pressuring him, to be with her and that’s why they’re together and I want to know what you’re thoughts are on it. Sorry I just realized that this is off topic. But for some reason, this “explanation” about the ss communtiy is stuck on me. You don’t have to answer obviously but I’m really curious on what you think about it. Since she kept pressuring him throughout the anime , even during war (which is honestly a wtf moment to me) , and I don’t like how she’s very persistent , when even kakashi tries to back her up -that honestly made me dislike kakashi since he knows that Sasuke isn’t interested in her but yet tries to justify her “love” , whether he says it subconsciously or not in his mind. I am a sns shipper tho, but I wouldn’t like force it ya know? I would’ve been happy too if Sasuke stayed single and focused on therapy for his trauma and all that but I’m hella curious. (Word of the day: curious, lol)

Sorry sorry for the rant again.

OH NO IT’S NOT OFF TOPIC! I mean it’s a logical question to come to lol, but honestly... I kinda agree with the sentiment that Sakura was persistent with Sasuke and that... he’s not in a relationship due to love but out of a sense of guilt and responsibility (that Kakashi and unfortunately Naruto reinforced if I remember right)

But anyway, I do think there was pressure and a bit of guilting for Sasuke to end up with Sakura. I don’t think he’s in love with her, and I think Sakura is aware of it and is in complete denial about it. There are multiple times in the war arc where she acknowledges that Sasuke couldn’t give less of a fuck about her, which is surprising because she KNOWS that considering he almost tried to kill her during the Kage Summit Arc. Flash forward to blank period, where it’s pre much confirmed that Sakura was following Sasuke around doing whatever. It’s confirmed that they conceive Sarada after Nart and Hinata get married (I’m pre sure), and she gives birth in one of Orochimaru’s old hideouts. Like.... if that doesn’t sound suspicious and weird and pushy... Idk.

Flash forward to Boruto, where Sasuke obviously meets up with Nart from time to time, but not his supposed “wife” or child. I say wife in quotes, but there’s like.. no evidence they’re actually married. There’s no wedding pictures, rings... The only picture Sakura has of him in the house is one where he’s wearing his Akatsuki cloak as a teen and her as a full grown adult. (I could go into the implications of this that she’s in love with the idea of Sasuke, instead of Sasuke as a person .. but well, well...) Sarada asks why they’re not a normal family, and asks Sakura if her dad has glasses, and Sakura can’t even remember??? That one simple fact?? Anyway she destroys the house because Sarada is , in my opinion, poking holes in the delusion her mom is invested in. Sasuke’s gone for so long he doesnt even recognize his OWN kid and nearly kills her. And now thats hes around, hes Borutos mentor instead of his own daughter?? Ive kinda made joke posts in the past that Sarada is Sasukes reminder of the situation hes found himself in with Sakura, a physical, breathing reminder of well... his shitty situation. I mean he was essentially guilted by Kakashi and Naruto to be with Sakura considering how much she loved her and all the shit he put her through (which obviously was wrong, he shouldnt have tried to kill her or genjutsu her—no matter how many times ss stans claim he genjutsud her to protect her, i just dont buy it considering his connection with it and how rarely he uses it unless its self defense from itachi—but that doesnt mean hes obligated to “love or be loved by her”). also in boruto sasuke says that the only reason why he and sakura are together is because they have sarada, which pre much explains his headspace regarding his situation with sakura.

anyway, to answer your question, yeah i think there was manipulation, pushiness, and guilt-trippy shit involved in why sasuke eventually ‘got together’ with sakura. i mean, think of it in the reverse genders. i think a lot of people would find the whole situation of how sakura and sasuke ‘got together’ more suspect than it is.. anyway of course thats my opinion!!! i generally agree, and i think sasuke is only with her out of some weird combination of penance (for naruto) and obligation (for sarada)

#long post #answered #MY BAD I WROTE U AN ESSAY #slenderiscoming #i hate and refuse to talk abt boruto for a lot of reasons #but mostly bc it makes me hate sakuras character :l and sasukes (in the sense of him being a bad dad)#along with naruto for being a konoha shill #but its actually a really depressing ending for sasuke #who only wanted a family #but refuses to be apart of his own for whatever reason #(but we know the reason)

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ao3gingerswag · 3 years

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HI HELLO I HAVE MANY THOUGHTS

okay so I've been like thinking these things for weeks but I've been very unmotivated so I'm saying them all now!! so prepare for multiple asks!! or something!!

okay so I've just been rereading my all time fave fics and there was this one like in one of them- 'I’m not *stupid*, I just can’t read' and it immediately made me think of your writing, like kyis, first of all (and actually more on that bc obviously I've been rereading that too as one of the Best Fics Ever™ and holy SHIT it's so good. I cannot believe no one has made a podfic for it yet, bc wow especially after listening to the extract that was read out at the beginning of the podcast episode I NEED someone to read this shit to me so I can savour every bloody word bc dammit I'm a skim reader and its TOO GOOD for me to be skimming the fucking words!!!!! anyways needed to get that of my chest back to the regularly scheduled programming) but then also with wander home, I feel like with sam being able to read its definitely gonna be cashing some form of angst for the other boys, dean I think similar to in kyis but also with all his bucket load of self worth issues it's like makes sense uno. but also with cas, I feel like cas thinks of himself as not that intelligent at all. we know he thinks quite poorly of himself due to his autism, and I feel like he would consider himself not actually smart but rather just weird, especially with him being uneducated and I think his struggles with running the inn, especially before dean and sam would rly effect his opinion of himself and lead to some self-hate. so anyways, then I feel like when sam enters the picture and interacts with cas (once everything has settled down and they start interacting NOT in a life-or-death situation) I feel like he'll add an outsider perspective and realise that actually yeah cas *is* actually rly smart. like, he'll be talking with cas about something - like uno spewing all his knowledge like the little nerd he is - and cas will be following along but as soon sam tries to engage him cas will be like 'I'm sorry Sam, I'm not smart enough to know that' and sam is like grhhh yes you are!! and then he tries to push it bc hes Sam and is like 'but u were just telling me and *insert something cas knows, like about nature or the like* yesterday! and you knew loads!' and cas dismisses it bc that's a result of him being abnormal not being smart and then there's a whole little journey of sam trying to convince cas he's actually smart with many trials and tribulations but eventually it ends up with them having their lil debates/Intellectual Conversations about whatever Sam has recently learned with his lessons and it's all :)) (bonus scene is dean observing them and when they try to involve him he's like 'yeah no not gonna happen, idc if u say I'm not dumb sam, not all of us can be Aquinas okay?')

I justify the aquinas reference bc I had to know him for a subject and now I've gotten my exams back and I somehow haven't flopped them!! which means I never have to do that subject again and I feel the need to at least somewhat reference the worthless knowledge in my brain :')

ok first of all what is the fic ur referring to drop the fic!! (even if its not destiel ill read anything lol!)

also thank u so much ;~; <3 idk no one has ever offered to make a podfic and i am terrible at reading out loud so i def cannot but if anyone ever offered i would totally be down for that!

i think ur so right, i think cas def does not think of himself as smart at all, when he actually is!! and i think he's a giant nerd as well who would def find a lot of the stuff sam rambles about to be very interesting. hes not a Certified Genius like sam and doesnt have the same Desperate Thirst For Knowledge but he also genuinely finds this stuff interesting!!! i think they bond so well over nerd stuff!! but yes!! sammy following him around once he trusts him more bc dean will indulge him but he can tell hes bored to tears by sam talking about like geometry and its just going in one ear and out the other. hes like hmm wow thats interesting sam. yeah that is so cool ur right. but hes like falling asleep. so he starts talking to cas...maybe it starts bc cas overhears him talking to dean and is like ! wow really? and asks like an actual question. and sam is like YES finally and rambles his heart out and cas is actually listening and engaged and sam is like ok i like u now actually ur my friend. and starts talking to him about all the intellectual stuff. and yes him over time convincing sam that his intelligence isnt just a Symptom of Being Weird or even if it is who cares hes still smart???

and do u mean Thomas Aquinas? i have never read anything by him!! congrats on surviving ur exams tho!!!!!

#ao3gingerswag #asks #wander home #prompts

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meyhew · 3 years

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i’m genuinely asking. doesn’t it bother you that harry has never ever mentioned louis (while louis has praised him and his work multiple times)? i agree harry is not responsible for his fans’ behaviour but his lack of support towards his ex band mates is the main reason why harries feel allowed to shit on them. and also of course harry did not undermine louis in the article and he probably didn’t even know the journalist was going to write that, but it’s curious that it’s always journalists praising harry that say louis (and/or the other guys) is unsuccessful. it’s kind of obvious harry’s team (and harry as well since he’s very involved) are pushing the idea that harry is the star out of one direction and the others will never reach his success, and he reinforces it by never talking about them. i don’t like that about his public image

this is the last ask i’ll answer about this so hopefully i answer whatever curiosities u and others still have.

yes it sometimes bothers me that harry doesnt openly and specifically praise louis, but i also recognize that its not just harry. there’s a narrative in place and has been for a long time. i digress a little to make my point but did you notice the quarantine narrative change they’ve done? for months they kept drilling it into us that harry was quarantining in LA. so many pap walks. so many interviews of him saying he was in LA. quarantine in LA with friends who are not louis absolutely not he doesnt know a louis. and while that was happening, eleanor was trying to convince us louis was in london. stuck in the UK and not going anywhere. then a few days ago there was a louis interview in which he was like “yeah actually i’ve been spending a lot of quarantine in LA” and just like that harry’s narrative is that he spent a lot of quarantine time in london before going to LA for shooting the movie. isnt that odd to you? i get that its fucking aggravating at times to see harry distanced from 1d time and time again and not hear him namedrop band members to praise but if you dont look at the entire picture then i can’t help u.

harry’s “lack of support towards his ex band mates” is not the main reason his fans shit on the others. it doesn’t Help, but it’s not the main reason. louis has been supportive of all the boys time and time again and solo louies are still relentless about the others. zayn hasnt said anything bad about the boys but a good portion of his fans still cant stand the other boys. so thats not harry’s fault. it’s a superiority complex within his fanbase and thats it.

harry and louis have been distanced from each other for a long time. idk how long you’ve been here or if you saw it happen in real time, but it is deliberate. the handful of times louis has mentioned or praised harry were all followed by articles about how larries ruined their relationship. this isn’t just about harry, although it feels more pronounced bc he doesn’t go out of his way to publicly talk about the boys. “pushing the idea that harry is the star out of one direction and the others will never reach his success” isn’t a thing that harry or his team invented; that was in play long before harry signed with azoff. sony wanted ONE breakout star out of the band because that is what has worked historically. that was the model they were chasing and they had no idea that ALL the boys would cultivate such loyal and dedicated fanbases individually. harry didn’t say “hey make me a breakout star and fuck the rest.” that was a decision made by people with much more power and influence in the industry and we have to see it unfold. i dont have to like it but im also not going to ignore the things i saw happen in real time simply to justify disliking harry

#god..... thats a goddamn ESSAY but thats as much as im willing to say rn i have a real paper to write and submit in less than 5 hours #anonymous #answered

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startwithbrooklyn · 3 years

Text

THE GREAT ND REWATCH OF 2021 / OCTOBER 2, 2019 // making the call

saved the last 2 minutes of this ep for tomorrow to keep on track so heres this

-i just realized laura never asked about the drive before she left last ep. wonder if she'll come back in s3 after tiffanys info finally comes into play

-"do you want to tell me why you think he'd be going after ryan?" wonder if carson thinks is joshua suspected the truth or found out about lucy having a baby and now hes all panicked

-"girl what is on your head??" 😂

-"it might help my dad's case" soooo i love how she said this. like. shes framing it so she can relate what she has to do to others. like she has to justify or give some reason for inviting someone else. she could have just said "im going if u want to come" but instead has to draw focus to her problem first, which is the only reason shes extending an invitation, if it relates to her own problems

-i wonder what lucy dying in the water has influenced her in telling nancy to call the agleaca. wonder if the agleaca found her and helped channel her spirit to apparition form. maybe she saw how lucy died "for love" wonder if the agleaca thought she was a fool or not for it. wonder if lucy would be strong enough to fight something like the agleaca, judging by simon probably not. it would have been cool to see a showdown between them or to watch lucy try to protect nancy from the beyond 😌 maybe the agleaca trying to take owen was her trying to give a warning? she was actually trying to "help" a la lucy/george's prediction was correct. sadly, we'll never know

-LOVE bess sitting criss cross on the bartop 😂and love the bess/owen cousins' call 🙏🏻💙

-this convo nancy has w owen at the police station reminds me of the kidnapping ep. when nick tries to help nancy she shoots him down. he tries to reason w her but unsuccessfully. what exactly is owen doing/saying differently? or is this just a reflection of how much nancy actually likes him? im just interested in the contrast. nick and owen both have calm, logical approaches. theyre both honest about wanting to be there for her. maybe the subject matter? in response to gombers warehouse nick was talking about facing old fears, which nancy definitely did do. but since nancy is primordially uninterested in discussing feelings, that was a no go. i think nancy even telling owen she was tracking a biotech ceo was a hugeconcession for her. or was it just because nick was inaccessable sexually but owen had potential? ¿ questions.

-LOVE owen side-eyeing nancy at this hilarity if a convo (and fucking Chad?? lmaoooo he is sostupid enough to fall for this probe)

-"i have to admit, that was kind of fun" / "i cant remember the last time i had this much fun" / "almost as fun as a real fight"

-"i got a D in french" well george if u retake it now you'll get a P instead 🤪

-"theres one more thing" so am i stupid or?? whats the second thing nick and ace have to tell her at the police station? that karen signed the form? bc nancy already figured that out so im confused.

-so karen in the security video is wearing the sweet purple pantsuit from the garden party ep which i checked the dates and yeah its about a month ago from today

-"i know the system favors the privileged" just imagine karen working her way up to detective as a young woman haunted by pain. and then her meeting the drews and nancy and having her remind karen of lucy, her cleverness, her spirit, but not knowing why. it just sucks bc in a male dominated field karen was trying to get justice and do good and then this happens

-"you tore two families apart" nancy's and tiffany's but this quote also applies to lucy's death tearing apart lucy's family (with her mom and josh) and ryan's (d/t not knowing nancy is his)

-UNPOPULAR OPINION: karen/josh - hatefuck- reuniting somehow (how did they reconnect? who called who?) when he gets back in town, come up with a plan, start an affair d/t their shared pain over lucy? then she fucks around with carson? why go there?

-"i loved your mom like a sister" / "i'm just glad my mom's not around to see who you've become" x2 now that we know the truth all these statements from karen especially just get heavier. like what bad luck to bond with two strong women who have to leave you like this (karen is a unique foil to nancy where they both have a connection to kate and lucy each)

-when ace says "i know nancy" thom just has this look on his face like "....oh youre in deep. sigh"

-hannah's disappearances "maybe she has nancys work ethic" in s2 she was shown out and about doing stuff and we know her burns were supernaturally caused but i wonder if hannah herself dabbles in anything else thet keeps her busy 🤔

-"300 pages about men and women get 2 pages in the back" 🙃preach

-i hate how in s2 they all forget this convo of nance literally saying "i cant ask you guys to do this" when they all blame her for every ill that ever happened ever

-THIS BITCH JUST PUTS HER BARE ASS HANDS ON HIS FUCKING OPEN WOUNDS???

-and it's snowing? in october? but only where they are by this part of the ocean?

-wait how does owen know bess sleeps in a van and does nothing about that?

-kissy faces😘😘see owen willing to meet nancy where shes at is soooo important. like him having his secret apartment in the city 👌🏻even tho she rejects him taking her out like he always wants he doesnt mind that he cant. hes not like nick- he doesnt mind being kept quiet (until bess's accidental reveal) his acceptance of her boundary there actually keeps him closer to her

and lastly

-george liking nick is so cute

#brooklyn's ND primer #nancy drew cw #the Great Rewatch of 2021 #you best start believing in ghost stories miss drew - you're in one

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holycalf · 3 years

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i started watching sku bc of your blog (and i really enjoy it!) but i dont get why you seem to like shiori but not ruka....i mean it seems like his intentions were a lot better than hers ever were tbfh am i missing something? not saying he went about things GREAT but....at least he actually seemed to care. shiori was just a bitch for the sake of being a bitch it seemed like...

hi! im glad ure enjoying it! it can definitely be a lot at times, and i think the first 12 eps can rub ppl the wrong way so props to u for getting thru those (even tho i liked em :) ) this is gonna be long so if u feel like reading an essay feel free to read under the cut

um.. i dont really know where to begin tbh? i mean you cant really talk about any of these characters without talking abt the other two so.... this is gonna be long.

so lets take shiori, who has a very classic case of internalized homophobia. which is confirmed by ikuhahras outtake on ep. 17 which states the following

“I finally realized the truth. To think that she loved me back! What a miracle! But...‘The loser in love is the one who lets their heart be ruled by it.’Everyone's adopted a provocative attitude toward someone of the opposite sex that they like at least once or twice, to get that person to notice them. So it's okay if I do that.This love will crumble if we touch. But when people don't touch, the love eventually dies away .That's why I decided to keep your love prisoner. To make sure that you love me forever. That game will make our love ‘eternal.’ I'm sure of it.We were ‘lovers lost from the beginning.”

so shioris in love with juri. im not sure if thats something u caught onto or not but its definitely the quintessence of her character, and needs to be considered when we consider her against ruka- since its a shared affection. also, i just like shiori, i dont necessarily think shes GOOD i just enjoy watching her and she feels very raw. shiori has a crippling inferiority complex, you can even tell through off handed conversations with her friends in hallways she exaggerates her stories to be more liked. juri is someone who has things come easy to her, and doesnt even really seem to care or notice. in the shows canon shes: liked by the student body, liked by teachers, admired by men (and girls too), academically inclined, good at bowling, captain of fencing club (and likely the most talented duelist- since shes the only one utena never properly beats) and a MODEL?????????? and shiori, at least in her own eyes, is painfully mundane. growing up next to someone who seems to have everything go in their favor, all of the while youre harboring having feelings for them (and jealous that youre among SO many suitors) is so frustrating! especially when you dont believe to have any at all. the elevator sequence when she discovers juris locket is a bit of a power trip for shiori, and also just a sort of confusion. shioris “why do you look at me like that?!” when she considers juri mid breakdown is a clear reflection of her own confusion, she may as well be saying “how could you possibly love me?”...but that was the black rose arc which all got undone anyways- so by the time we see shiori ruka arc she doesnt even know juris got the hots for her. when she first sees ruka, shes staring at juri first and only zeroes in on ruka once she hears people talking abt him. she takes ruka the same way she did that boy in middle school because he seems to be something coveted by the girls around her, its a very closeted gay girl move to decide to go for a boy just because other girls are into him... and it definitely helps that hes in such close contact w juri...he could easily be the one stored in that locket of hers, so why not take him?

so then we have ruka, who the entire time we watch him is smug, condescending, and genuinely one of the most unpleasant characters on the show. by the end we learn hes in love with juri, so maybe this persona was embellished to push her towards revolution to “free her from shiori” or whatever but.... sorry i dont care LOL! the way he treated shiori ALONE was enough for me to dislike him, there was NO need to tear apart and embarrass the girl like that. he took clear advantage of her crush on juri. his locker is seen right next to juris, and shiori is pressed up against one of the two lockers, but we arent shown which, “after all, that wasnt my sword,”....he knows shiori has been going to juris locker (and potentially polishing her sword but who knows. all we know is that she goes to juris locker.) and it is later revealed hes extra certain of her feelings because upon publically dumping her (another dick move) we hear her kinda stutter “I love you more than.... I love you more than anyone else” shes clearly beating around a bush because theyre in public, hes pinpointed she and juri are both into eachother, and instead of being a normal ass guy about it and just SETTING THEM UP and telling them to work their stuff out he chooses to, “out of love” assault juri, emotionally manipulates the girl juri is in love with, then inadvertantly cause juris locket to break which upsets her so deeply she forfeits her duel with utena. and upon that locket breaking he has the AUDACITY to think hes somehow freed her from something... when the girl is breaking down crying in the rain (the first and only time we ever see juri cry...even if its implied she does it in the shower that one time lol).......then just???dies??? like all he does in his time on the show is cause problems and die, all because he couldnt get over his feelings for a lesbian.... it just feels SO gross to me that he hides his assault and general abuse (can we talk abt how he likely took shioris virginity, JUST to break her down???) behind some icky hero complex

PLUS we see shiori at the end of that episode realize shes in that locket while juri is dueling, and we see her run up to juri at the end of the ep and it doesnt look malicious, it feels very...resolutiony? esp when you put it next to the miki/kozue closing scene of their car arc duel, which is explicitly bad terms, this feels more hopefully....suggesting some part of shiori has at least changed. ruka never got that luxury, he completely exploited two girls in order to add dramatic flare to his last few days and felt valid in doing so..... shiori never seemed to think her actions were JUSTIFIED.....which is sort of the point of the black rose arc where shiori is arguably at her worst........... the very ugliest part of ppl are brought out in those elevator sessions so thats what we see of shiori?

sorry for the essay!! but i hope this helps and make sense :-) feel free to ask any more questions u have abt the show, and i hope u continue enjoying it! im assuming ure still watching it, i dont know how far u are but if u JUST finished 29 then that means ure getting to some of my fave episodes! (33,37,39 :) )

tl,dr: shiori never assaulted anyone

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