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omegasmileyface · 2 years

Text

Of All the People - Ch. 10

hehe. i love a-lister dialogue <3 written, shockingly, by @ectolemonades and @attackradish and myself for invisobang, with chapter 1 art by @/toasty-ghosti :3

whole fic summary: After a stupid dare puts Dash Baxter in the lab at Fentonworks during the middle of a ghost fight, he finds himself a little more spectral than usual. Apparently Danny Fenton’s gone through the same thing (someone has got to call OSHA on these guys eventually), and who could better help Dash than his hero? His lame, stubborn hero?

warnings: Nothing for this chapter! In others, existential crises, and Spectra.

words: 1846

AO3 link

first chapter

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===

"GUYS."

Dash's arrival to the hallway table where the A-listers sat before school was frantic.

"I need to tell you something." His voice was hushed, posture hunched, eyes darting conspiratorially.

Paulina matched his tone but kept to more subtle body language. Looking like you were hiding something was basically an open invitation for other students to listen in. It was the agreed-upon social signal that something was gossip and not just information. And this was looking like something that could not become gossip. "Is this about ghosts?"

"No. Well, I guess. Kinda. It's…"

He bit his lip for a few seconds. His friends were patient.

"I think I have a crush on Fenton."

While Dash's face wrinkled up, Paulina's stretched into a grin. She let herself lean forward. While this wasn't gossip she wanted going public, it was gossip, and she was going to respect that.

"Fenton?" asked Star. "Are you— I mean, not that that's bad or anything! But are you sure? He was pretty cool when he was showing us those Yetis and everything but being cool doesn't keep him from being a dweeb. A cool dweeb is still a dweeb."

"Give him some credit!" piped up Paulina. "A cool dweeb is still cool. I would say Fenton's coolness is enough to override his dweebiness. Because of the ghost fighting."

"I mean yeah but the emotional shift after years of—"

"Is this really news?"

Everyone looked at Kwan.

"I mean, now that we know he's… y'know. I thought we had accepted that Dash's whole thing with Phantom was some kind of a crush. So shouldn't that be a given?"

"That—! Was that a crush?" Dash was beet red by now.

"You know what?" Star shifted in her seat to look at Dash like a lawyer might look at a potential client or a wolf might look at a piece of meat. "Suddenness or un-suddenness aside, we're talking about your current feelings. Tell us what's got you flustered around Danny."

"What? Do you just want blackmail material or something? I didn't come here for an interview!"

"No no," said Paulina, "this is important information in our journey of understanding ghosts."

Kwan nodded seriously.

"So is it the patient understanding he shows when you train?"

"Or the way, when he needs to, he picks you up like you weigh nothing?" added Star, helpfully.

"Or how he always looks like he's defying gravity when he laughs?" added Kwan, doubly so.

"Or—"

"As a matter of fact it would be all of those things." Dash's hissing wasn't entirely human, but his friends didn't seem to care as they broke out into a chorus of combined "aww"s and laughter. His glare was just as ineffective.

"Well, I'll bet he feels the same way about you."

"Yeah! Any ghost boy would be lucky to have a catch like you."

Dash hoped that was true.

===

"Guyyys…"

Danny's moan was muffled from his spot laying on a branch of the tree where he and his friends spent their mornings.

"Aww, I know that tone. Is this about ghosts?" asked Sam teasingly.

"Kinda." He slid off the branch and landed, clumsy but silent, on the grass. "I think Dash has a crush on me."

Tucker finally looked up from his PDA. "As in, Dash Baxter? The very Dash Baxter who, on our Zone trip the other day, asked Frostbite if the Ghost Zone had, quote, 'barcades but for dead people'? That Dash?"

"Yes!"

"Can I politely ask where you got the idea that Dash, a literal high school quarterback who I'm pretty sure was yanked out of his home universe of a shitty 80s coming-of-age movie and stuck in ours, has a crush on 'freaky-geeky-Fenton'?"

Danny frowned at Sam. "Well, you didn't have to say it like that."

"Sorry. Dashing, charming Fenton? Who I will remind you is a boy?"

"That's better."

Tucker patted his shoulder.

"And just because he's a living cliché doesn't mean he's straight. Look at Tucker 'The Womanizer' Foley over here. Just because he's never landed a date doesn't mean he's ever wanted one."

"Hey, man, there's a difference between trying to get a date to see what the hype's all about and being a literal bully. If Dash has an ounce of queer in him, he's not just burying it, he's giving it cement shoes and sending it swimming with the fishes off a Brooklyn pier."

"Look, however he feels about his sexuality, I'm pretty sure he has a crush on me and I have no idea how to feel about that!"

"Once again. Source?"

Danny huffed and pulled at some grass by his legs. "I can sorta taste it. I think."

"Oh shit!" Tucker perked up. "Is this that emotional feeding thing we've been talking about? — I know," he cut in before Danny could interrupt, "I know. Not feeding."

"Not on purpose at least." Sam received another frown.

"Yeah… it's kinda been there for a while. Sometimes he'll look at me when I'm doing something and then there'll just be… warm. And shocked, and bright like sour candy, and hesitant. And sometimes his heartbeat picks up when that happens. It tastes kinda like admiration and excitement, so I figured… it couldn't really be much else. I don't know."

"Mm." Tucker thought for a moment. "Well, do you like him back?"

Danny sputtered. His friends looked at him with anticipation.

"I— huh? Not that I know! Fuck, the guy's been bullying me for years and now I have to keep him out of trouble while he's looking at me like I have all the answers when I barely have my own ghost stuff figured out! Why would I have a crush on him?"

"Because he's determined enough to keep trying to help," said Sam.

"And he's kept your secret with the utmost devotion."

"And he rocks that varsity jacket-skinny jeans combo."

"And he keeps a closet full of teddy bears because he loves them so much."

"And—"

"Shut up! Oh my God. This is gonna be just like when I told you guys about my crush on Spike in middle school. I'm not just gonna, what, develop feelings for my origin story high school bully because we're training together now or whatever."

Tucker turned to Sam with a wholly serious face. "And they were half-ghosts."

"Oh my God they were half-ghosts."

"Fuck you guys. I'm gonna go fail a pre-calc quiz."

Danny's friends laughed as they got to their feet and walked with him.

…Dash did make that varsity jacket look good.

===

Paulina spent class patiently waiting for free study time. With the test coming up, she knew today’s lecture would be short before they were granted an opportunity to study quietly in small groups.

It was as if the stars had aligned for her. Statistics was the only class her respective friend group had without Dash, and the only class she had with Sam and Tucker that didn’t have Danny. She had been itching to talk to Sam – something she never thought she’d experience, but their groups had grown close recently, given the circumstances. Finally, finally, after a brief review of the formulae they’d be applying on the test, they were given study guides for the rest of the period.

Paulina wrote a note to Sam, waiting until their teacher was distracted to casually adjust her hair and drop the folded slip of paper on the desk behind her.

‘Dash has a crush on Danny.’ The note was straightforward. They knew they had to keep their communications as brief and private as possible for the time being; if the A-Listers were suddenly best friends with the people they’d relentlessly bullied, someone might stick their nose where it didn’t belong. It would be a gradual process.

She absently scribbled on her worksheet, waiting for some type of cue that Sam acknowledged this information. She felt Sam tap her shoulder, and smoothly reached up to take the paper she was passed.

‘We know.’

Paulina couldn’t contain her eyeroll when she read it. She felt Kwan’s gaze on her, expecting an update, and shook her head at him. This told her nothing. How did they know? Did Danny even remotely feel the same?

How was she supposed to plan the most epic love story of their generation if they gave her nothing to work with?

Paulina sighed and turned around, putting on her best act of reluctance in case anyone was paying attention. “Sam, as much as it pains me to ask this, do you and Tucker want to work in a group? We could use some extra help on the study guide.”

“What’s in it for us?” Sam quirked an eyebrow at her. Kwan and Star had tuned in now, looking between the pair expectantly, and Tucker leaned forward in his seat to join in.

“I’ll… invite you to my next party?” Paulina tried.

“Sam, let’s do it. I never get to go to Paulina’s parties.” Tucker had picked up on the act.

“Fine,” Sam feigned irritation. They shifted their desks closer to each other.

“So?” Star whispered.

“Yeah, I’m really not sure what’s actually going on here yet. Is something wrong?” Tucker asked.

“Dash has a crush on Danny,” Paulina repeated the contents of her note in a low voice. “I want to do something about it.”

“More specifically, she wants to set them up,” Kwan added.

“How do we play into this? They’re their own people, can’t they figure it out on their own?”

“Don’t you see, Sam?" Tucker was grinning like he had awaited this day his whole life. "We always hang out in a group. Pretty much the only time they’re alone together is sometimes when they’re training. We have to get them to spend time together outside of that.”

Sam seemed at a loss. “I get what you’re saying here, but how can we make them hang out? It’s not exactly subtle to just tell them to meet up somewhere together.”

“With all due respect, Sam, I did not expect you to be so dense about this,” Star said.

“We have to make plans with them and then ditch them.” Paulina explained the process just like it was one of their Stats principles.

“Back out last minute so they’re obligated to go through with the plans, but it would only be them,” supplied Kwan.

“We could force them to pair up in class, too. Partner up with each other instead, when we get the chance,” Tucker suggested.

Sam finally gave a slow nod. “Okay. In case it wasn’t obvious, we’re pretty sure Danny’s reciprocating his feelings, so… I’m in.”

Paulina clapped a hand over her grinning mouth to contain the excited squeal that wanted to escape. Tucker looked equally as excited, and Kwan and Star seemed pretty satisfied with their plan.

The bell signaling the end of class rang, and students began hurriedly gathering their belongings to move onto their next class. Paulina stuck her hand out at Sam, who looked at it for a moment before shaking it, officially solidifying the agreement.

#danny phantom #invisobang 2022 #my writing #swagger bishie #halfa!dash #halfa dash au #dash baxter #teddy ghost #check ao3 for more tags!

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tradedsymmetry · 4 months

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okay I've kinda been wanting to do this for a little while and I just sent this message to someone and it's a great example I think so I'm going to. so here's the message, and then under the cut, a bunch of different words/phrases are highlighted in diff colors. the colors don't mean anything, I just did a different one each time in order so that it's clear that they're separate things.

so the thing where the conversation style where you just offer up bits or info and then the other person should feel free to then offer up similar things, or whatever. I just like illustrating concepts, or maybe it'll help someone understand. but I just now thought of it as like links in a wiki article. or key words. any of the things that pop out to you can become a new thread of the conversation. and there's probably more that someone else could think of to branch off from!!

"I did my own Myspace html!! I had a friend who made sparkly banners and stuff but I could do the more basic things myself hahaha

it came in handy like 12 years later when I worked in a call center and the contact sheet needed to be updated and it was on SharePoint (I think?) in HTML. I was like.... "I know enough to know a lot of what's happening here!!! I'll do it!!!" hahaha

I brushed up on it again over the summer but I don't really have any reason to ~use it at the moment haha"

I did my own Myspace html!! I had a friend who made sparkly banners and stuff but I could do the more basic things myself hahaha

I brushed up on it again over the summer but I don't really have any reason to ~use it at the moment haha"

so the other person could reply with a multitude of things. a memory or question about Myspace, or html, sparkly and/or glittery things, or banners for that matter I missed that one. they could ask what the basic things entailed, or offer up something basic that they know how to do(in html or in any aspect of life, idk). any proper nouns are usually good jumping off points I think, especially because it makes sense that it'd pop out to you to pull up a memory? whereas maybe remembering a time when they enthusiastically volunteered to do something at work, or suggesting a way the other person could put their html skills to use would be less likely to happen, and the other person might be less likely to follow your train if thought. depending on the detail you jump from, the other person might have no idea why you're telling the story you're telling. so you can add an intro, where you say "you saying that you were so excited to to be able to help at work reminded me of this one time I..." or you can pick a "bigger" jumping-off point. I would assume that seasons are usually good picks.

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sweetestofchaos · 10 months

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Also this one's for the ask game

Something I remember vividly from reading one of your fics

I do have to catch up on a lot of reading but I vividly remember feeling the goosebumps at your descriptions in Blackthorn. I absolutely absolutely loved the setting and it was like everytime there was a question mark in my head it was being resolved by your narration in no time. It kept me on my toes, ngl, but it also fed my interests so AAAAH like I always say, I'm a fan 😭

What I like the most about your writing

Definitely your ability to draw up things from scratch. I love how you begin on a clear canvas with the most vivid colours and storm up a beautiful outline in no time. Reading your stories is like being in a whole new universe. Amazing, I keep saying this, but amazing.

If i've ever shared/talked about your fic to someone else

Okay, well, this is a whole other story. So I have a few friends who are absolutely interested in fanfics and stories and BTS but they are not on Tumblr so I have taken it upon myself to read my favourite picks and read it well so that I can be a cute lil storyteller and tell them all about it. Blackthorn received crazy hype from my offline audience and they basically love you at this point.

Ah, Blackthorn is, well, it is a beast that I had no intention of really creating. It was only supposed to be a story with five chapters and during the outlining writing down my thoughts, it just branched into more and more and more. The more I wrote and talked about it, the more idea I had and then Yoongi dropped new content and it all just lined up perfectly with the ideas in my head (plus gave me so many more).

Blackthorn is new for me. I don't usually world build or research topics. I tend to just write what I know but I wanted to do a fantasy piece so badly. I love the idea of dragons and magic! So, I am thrilled that you are able to appreciate the imagery in it. I don't know how long I stare at pictures and just pulled pieces and mash them together.

As for answering your questions while reading...I honestly never notice I do that until I go back to edit the chapter for the first time. I keep a notebook next to me and I jot down every thought/situation that stands out to me. I try to make a reminder for myself to fill plots holes as I go along but I always intend to do it much later lol I'm just lucky I guess that my mind fills them in for me as I go along in a chapter.

I adore that you are able to be transported in another world while reading Blackthorn. This means that all my hard work has paid off!! I will continue to try my best to keep you in that beautiful and wild world. It is one of my favorites to date.

Annnnnnnd I'm crying. You tell your friends about Blackthorn?! That is wild to me, like I don't tell anyone about what I read...but that's because I'm the only one in my friend group that likes kpop. This makes me so happy and giddy. Thank you for hyping my baby up! Tell your friends that I love them and their kinds words.

You are such a sweetheart, I love you too!

Chell (chaos)

pick a number(s) and tell me your thoughts!

#soc ask game

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rotationalsymmetry · 2 years

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I'm reading through a post where an atheist is, as far as I can tell coming from a genuine place of inquiry, asking about this "don't say religion when you mean Christianity" thing, and the responses aren't bad, it's just...

...why do you feel the need to criticize things you don't actually know anything about?

If you know something about Judaism, because you were raised Jewish yourself or you know a lot of people who are Jewish and picked up a lot through osmosis or you did a lot of research, you can criticize the things you actually know something about. If you know something about Islam (and, y'know, there's a lot of weird distortions in the general public's understanding of Islam in a lot of Western countries, so don't mistake "reading a few jokes about 72 virgins" with "knowing something about Islam") then you can criticize Islam. (I know fuck all about Islam, so I don't say much about it. Not hard.) If you know something about Buddhism, Hinduism, specific indigenous religions, neopaganism, New Age whatever (Greta Christina writes a lot about the tarot-cards-and-auras "spiritual but not religious" stuff from a place of having been there, and I respect that), etc etc go ahead and feel free to criticize religions you know something about. Goodness knows as someone who has lived basically my entire life in a country that is strongly influenced by fundamentalists who don't want me to be able to get abortions or gay-married or trans my gender or be a witch, in a country where you in practice can't get elected President if you're not willing to say "God bless America" a lot and swear on the Bible, I got opinions on Christianity and I do shoot my mouth off about it. Because it affects me. Because there is no opt-out thing where I can just say "hey you guys, if I don't talk about you will you make sure not to impose your religious beliefs on me?" and realistically expect that to stick.

But if for instance you know fuckall about Inuit beliefs or Jainism or Kemetic Reconstructionism or Bahai, then maybe you ... don't actually have to talk about "all religions" or "religion" as a general thing? As far as I'm concerned, you don't need to individually reject every single religious system in existence to just personally not be religious, you only have to do that if you're trying to control what other people do with their lives and their beliefs.

I usually get along well with non-believers, precisely because so many non-believers have a strong "live and let live" ethic.

OK, some specifics now.

Not all religions are "organized" religion, for whatever you mean by "organized" -- hierarchies, an intense emphasis on respect for authority, etc. My branch of paganism is massively influenced by anarchist thinking, for instance. (I'm also a Unitarian Universalist, and a lot of us figure it's not an "organized religion", although we can't agree on whether it's not because it's not a "religion" (no creed) or because it's not "organized" (power rests in individuals and congregations, not in larger structures.) Unfortunately "organized religion" is not very well defined -- so I'd suggest if you're going to criticize multiple religions for having certain commonalities (like being hard to leave, having a high level of coercion/authoritarianism, having a top-down hierarchy, etc) that you spell out what you mean by that. As that is certainly a legitimate thing to criticize! and also those are criticisms that will apply to some religious traditions and not others.

(These are... sort of best practices recommendations, and very much "my two cents I could be missing something" -- I know sometimes people are just trying to get ideas out and sometimes the words aren't perfect, I'm not recommending calling out other people for eg not being clear about what they mean by "organized religion", unless you know them well enough to believe that the interaction will go over well.)

Religious people tend to pass their beliefs and values and practices onto their kids. So do non-religious people. Non-religious people might pass on things like: having story-time before going to bed, brushing your teeth regularly, do unto others what you would have them do unto you, no hitting, make your bed every morning, stand up for what you believe in, having cake at birthdays, etc. Religious people might pass on very similar things, plus other things like praying at specific times of the day, lighting candles on Friday evening, meditating daily, donating money to a religious organization, having food restrictions, celebrating religious holidays in particular ways, recognizing which parts of a sacred tradition are meant to be taken literally and which aren't or have generally understood loopholes (even in traditions that claim strict adherence), understanding specific moral imperatives to be connected to specific beliefs about the divine, etc. It's kind of like gender, OK? Giving your daughter a dress to wear isn't oppressive, but forcing a kid who absolutely hates dresses to keep wearing them anyways is. But the fact that some (ok, a lot of) parents force gender on their kids doesn't mean that the trappings of gender (like dresses) are bad or that gender itself is bad, it means coercion is bad.

Religion is often an integral part of a person's identity (whether they're a religious/cultural minority or not) and many people absolutely cannot separate their religion from their identity. This is also like gender: some people do not have a gender and pretending to have a gender is harmful to them; some people emphatically do have gender and being treated like they don't is harmful to them. (And yet other people don't have strong feelings on that matter and can comfortably go along with whatever the people around them expect them to do.)

Specifically many Christians consider their Christianity to be an integral part of their identity, and they can't be themselves without being Christian. I don't think that means Christianity needs to be above criticism (hah, boy do I ever not think that), but there is a difference between criticizing things about Christianity and trying to argue that no one should ever be Christian or that Christianity should not exist. Somewhat like how on an individual level there's a difference between saying "that thing you did is bad and you should not do it again" and saying "you are bad." Again, many people cannot separate their religion from their identity, and attacking their religion's existence is attacking them.

Specifically for people who are in cultural/religious minorities relative to where they live -- well, "minorities", it's not really about numbers it's about who's in power -- and especially for indigenous people who are dealing with centuries worth of attempted genocide, part of the attempted genocide takes the form of suppressing their religion and part of resisting genocide is necessarily often tied to practicing that religion. So regardless of intent, talking about those religions as though they are equally as oppressive as, and basically the same as, the religion that's responsible for stealing your children and force converting them...it doesn't come across well. (Which no, doesn't mean every culture that's ever been oppressed by an outside force is perfectly just and above criticism, but it does mean that if culturally you're the colonizers you're not in a morally sound position to criticize the potential oppressiveness of the people that your people have been colonizing. If that makes sense.)

there is sort of extra insult to injury here, as indigenous religions are often flat up not mentioned when people talk about world religions, so a lot of people just don't think about them at all when thinking about "religion" or "religions".

Gonna pull out something specific about antisemitism: the history of antisemitism from Christians and cultural Christians is a lot worse and more pervasive than a lot of gentiles realize, and it's a lot more tied up with Christian beliefs than a lot of Christians are comfortable acknowledging. So there is a lot of...uncomfortableness ... in people who are descended from/culturally the same as people who created pogroms and ghettos and "yeah, no, you guys can't live here any more" and all that, talking about Judaism as an oppressive whatever. Which isn't to say that Judaism never has weird stuff around gender or sexual orientation or whatever. But, there's a "stay in your lane" thing that I think should apply here, and if you're culturally Christian (roughly, if you celebrate Christmas even in a non-religious way) you should probably spend at least as much time learning about antisemitism as you do learning about problems with Judaism, and ditto for talking about it, and if you're not sure if a specific complaint applies to Judaism and Christianity or just Christianity (keeping in mind that Jewish understandings and Christian understandings of the same text can be startlingly different) it's probably better to err on the side of not speaking authoritatively about things you're not sure about, y'know? Sometimes people assume that "my former fundamentalist church interpreted Leviticus Whatever in this particular way" means that, because it's from the Old Testament, that Jewish people must interpret the same passage the same way, and that's absolutely not a reliable assumption to make.

Some general principles: Intellectual humility is a good thing, you could be wrong, etc. And it's also worth considering, is this an internal issue that should be talked about only or primarily within the community? Sometimes when outsiders have strong, judgemental opinions about a minority group, even if they're pretty valid opinions, it can result in circling the wagons and not in people within the community taking those critiques seriously. In the same way that on an individual level people are more likely to take criticism defensively from someone they think basically doesn't like them, compared to someone they're on good terms with. Not all "you're doing it wrong" is constructive.

A thing about neopaganism and cultural appropriation: this is an issue in the community, and many pagans are talking about how to have better relationships with indigenous communities and not using white sage and not talking about "spirit animals" when you're borrowing the idea from a tradition that isn't yours, etc and so forth. Sometimes when non-pagans criticize paganism about this it very much comes across as "paganism is bad and no one should be pagan". When criticizing a particular religion, it's worth I think considering how it comes across, and in particular whether you're going after a smaller, less powerful or adversarial religion because you're less likely to get pushback (anon hate, suicide baiting, doxxing, etc) then if you go after a bigger, angrier religious group who may actually historically and currently be doing a lot more harm. Anyways, I'm certainly not going to tell people whose religions are being appropriated what not to do, but for people who want to think of themselves as allies I think it's...easy to get a distorted sense of priorities. It's best to look for how to be an ally within your communities (because whatever your communities are, they've got problems -- and in particular Christianity has huge problems re: relating to indigenous people, and atheism as a whole has some substantial problems too.)

Anyhow, drawing a firm line between Christianity (or specifically white Christians) as being OK to criticize and all other religions as not being OK to criticize doesn't work, for a number of reasons. However for many specific people we happen to know a lot more about Christianity than about other religions, and "be careful about criticizing religions you know very little about, especially when the dominant culture where you live is prejudiced against those religions" is a good rule of thumb.

I don't know that much about people leaving religions that treated them abusively, and I think it is extremely legitimate for people to both criticize a religion that harmed them (or just wasn't their cup of tea, that's fine too) and to talk about when people who left other religious groups had similar experiences.

I don't really know what that above point has to do with any of the rest of this though? Because to me it seems really obvious that "don't say all religions/Abrahamic religions/Judeo-Christian whatever when you mean Christian" doesn't ... actually ... apply when people are making statements that genuinely apply to whatever set of religions they're talking about? For instance, someone saying "the Abrahamic religions are monotheistic" is just making a rather boring observation about what those religions have in common. Or if someone says "people have religious beliefs and practices to connect to each other and make sense of the world that they live in and provide comfort during difficult times and figure out how to be a good person", which is probably either accurate to all religions or at least within kicking distance of it. To me, that would be like if I said "don't forget that if you're doing algebra and you take the square root of both sides of the equation you should put a plus/minus side in front of any square root signs, as square roots are by definition positive" and then someone else was all "well, you don't have to put in plus/minus signs if you square both sides or take the absolute value" or something else that's kind of conceptually related but emphatically not what I said and does not in any way contradict what I said so why is it coming up? If you do actually mean Abrahamic religions, it's OK to say that. Obviously, right? It's just sometimes (kinda often actually) people literally do say "Abrahamic religions" etc when what they're saying is not true of any Abrahamic religions except for Christianity.

This is a thing that actually happens! It's not code for "don't ever talk about what different religions have in common." Literally people actually do generalize Christianity-specific things to non-Christian religions, this is a thing that happens, and it's annoying.

Heck, there's a lot of Christians who are so convinced that nobody could possibly have a different world-view that rather than accepting paganism (or other religions) on their own terms they just go "oh, you don't worship Christ? I guess you worship the Devil then, you're a Satan worshipper." Christians actually say that, it's common, it's probably the main pet peeve of pagans who are open about who they are around Christians.

I think a lot of Americans get confused because you'll be living somewhere and there's a Baptist church and a Methodist church and a Catholic church and an Episcopalian church and a couple non-denominational churches and like one synagogue, so they'll have a mental model of "religions are things like Baptism and Methodism and Catholicism and Judaism", rather than "religions are things like Christianity and Buddhism and Judaism and Islam and Hinduism, and a bunch of smaller religions that vary wildly from each other in terms of beliefs, practices, and understandings of what a religion is." It's categorical confusion. As though all you've ever spoke was English but you know some people with different accents, so you figure that all languages use a Roman alphabet and don't gender most words and have subject-verb-object word order and use uptones at the end of a sentence to indicate a question, but don't use tones to make entirely different words. (Actually, this isn't that big a stretch: of course Tolkien was an actual linguist, but some fantasy and sci fi writers who make up languages don't actually consider using tones or gendered adjectives or other potential language characteristics that English doesn't have.)

Also just it is really cool how different religions are from each other and I want people to know it's actually really good that it's not just a bunch of Christian denominations and then some other things that have different names but are still basically Christianity with a few minor twists. It's cool that different cultures have different understandings of what is alive and what isn't! It's cool that different religions have different understandings of what happens to people after they die and/or how important that is. It's cool that some religions put a lot of emphasis on sacred texts and others don't have sacred texts at all! It's cool that some religions are tied to specific cultures and/or places and have a "we have our thing and you have yours" attitude towards other people and religion, and that other religions think their religion can go anywhere and synthesize with any culture and that anyone who wants to can be a member. That's so awesome! Some religions don't have any gods at all, and that's awesome! Some religions think ancestors' spirits stick around and will do you favors if you ask them nicely, and that's awesome! Some religions are definitely not the same thing as philosophy and also you can only have one, and other religions are all "religion, philosophy, what's the difference?" and also "why not learn wisdom from multiple sources?" It's so beautiful.

#religion discourse #atheism discourse #commenting on without reblogging #colonialism #genocide mention #intellectual humility #staying in your lane #christian critical #religion and identity #long post #residential schools mention #baby scooping mention

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jordanlahey · 4 years

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Devilish (1/?)

Pairing: the lost boys x demon!reader (there isn’t an exact romance pairing just yet.)

Summary: You heard that Max and his boys were killed by amateur hunters but you knew that wasn’t true. However there is now word that others are coming to claim their territory whether they are alive or not.

Word count: 1859

A/n: I’m no good at the summary cause i just had an idea and wanted to start writing so forgive me if it drags on a little longer than it’s supposed to but I have a general idea on what I’m wanting!

It's not long after the sun goes down that the monsters come out to play but not the monsters that your parents tell you about in stories like the big bad wolf or big foot. No, the ones that feed off human blood if you unfortunately catch their eye, the ones that cower in the dark during the day but they forget the other kind of monster that looks seductive to the eye with their lips dripping with sin ready for another taste, The monster that's as old as time itself, one that feeds off sins and the lust for souls of the poor and unfortunate. No one is ever warned about making deals with the devil, they don't believe in all that stuff but they'll believe in fairytales. Humans. Poor pathetic people.

You hadn't been to the surface in so long maybe around 86 years? You had heard that a certain coven of vampires have been eliminated but that was hardly likely, you tend hear a lot when you're down below. It was boring down there surprisingly, you all had a job to do you got the job of collecting souls but even then it takes 5 years or more for you to collect them. If you were lucky a certain demon would let you collect some souls on their behalf which is exactly why you are here anyway. Making your way through the boardwalk you can point out all they needy ones ready to make deals, you walk past a certain video store first not that you had any interest in buying or looking more likely the person who had owned it.

You strolled into the store looking around until you spotted who you were looking for. Max smiles at the customer as he bid them farewell, his smile dropped when he saw you walk to his counter. "I didn't expect to see you so soon."

"Oh don't be like that Maxy." You pouted and leaned against the counter "I'm here on business not for you yet." You smirked but he kept his stoic expression causing you to sigh. "I heard you and your boys were no longer...undead shall we say?"

"You should know that we can play a lot of mind tricks on people Y/n." Max narrowed his eyes, he was no fun.

"I thought as much, how are the Emerson's?" You could tell that comment struck a nerve, you knew after they whole fiasco that Lucy drove herself and her sons elsewhere. "but while I'm here I might as well warn you, others think you are dead and will try claim your territory." You picked up a lollipop from the bowl and unwrapped it, Max just looked at you unbothered. You really weren't getting much out of him. "Come on Max, why do you not like me anymore? Long ago you considered me a daughter to you. What changed?"

"You changed Y/n." You rolled your eyes, course you changed that's what happens when you giver in to your instincts. Even if you could change you still wouldn't be the same.

"You of all people should know what giving into temptation is like." With that you left, you weren't gonna argue with him, you had people to see, your night was already planned: find the ones who's time is up, go make more deals, have a little fun messing around. Very, very busy. Max will come around when he wants to know about he's coming to make Santa Carla theirs, you also wouldn't mind getting your hands a little dirty.

Motorbikes roared as they speed down the walk ways and people screeching to get out the way, the bikes came to a stop and off came the four boys. The night was young and so were they, beautiful as they come but deadly as they are. They were also on the prowl for a meal as well as for to cause chaos around the boardwalk, as per usual the boys would head to the carousel for the start of their long night, this time the Surfer Nazi's know to steer clear of the lost boys they won't be their target tonight. However, after they leave the ride they all catch sight of a girl they've never seen before leave the video store, she looked good enough to eat and the boys would be happy enough to pass her around.

You made your way through the crowds to the bar where a man sat all by his lonesome, he fidgeted nervously his this hands and kept taking long gulps of his drink. It was obvious that this was the man you were looking for, walking slowly towards the table you joined him and a smile played on your lips as you batted your eyelashes at him in a seductive manner.

"You must be her? I got told that it would be someone different." Oh, so they hand out memos now? How mundane, the man dabbed a tissue on his forehead a few times before taking one more long swig of this drink. "I have a favour to ask." You chuckled at him, who is this man? Does he not know basic deal rules?

"A favour? And what might that be?" You looked over at the bartender and you silently asked for a drink, the man before you fiddled with his tie before clearing his throat as he tried to muster u[ the courage to spit out whatever he wanted to ask. People rarely ask for second chances from a demon, the ones that know better and are ready to face the consequences of their actions. Humans get 5 years with whatever their deal was however, depending on said deal and how easily you can persuade the demon before you, you can be given more than 5 years but only on the day of the meeting and NEVER after the deal has been made.

"I.." Your drink arrived and you swirled the straw around the glass waiting to hear this favour, resting your head on the palm of your hand. You lift the drink to your lips before he blurts out what he wants "I would like to make another deal!" You almost choked on your drink, this guy actually asked you for a new deal? That's the favour? How rich.

"Tell me something, haven't you heard about the rule 'no wishing for more wishes' in the presence of a genie? This is the same thing you cant ask a demon for a new deal when your time is already up my friend." You smiled darkly at him, however he is brave enough to ask but it was the dumbest question in your opinion.

"Wait! I can get you more souls! Err...my wife's, a colleague, my brothers! Any that you want!" You rolled your eyes, humans really are cruel. They'll do anything to get what they want. Greedy, selfish bastards, you look forward to sending this one to Hell he'll go straight to the fourth circle. You get up to leave knowing he's going to follow you whether he wants to or not, probably best to head down the alleyway to avoid more mundane eyes for this. "Wait! Where are we going? I want 5 more years! I'm not ready to go just yet." When you reach the bottom of the alleyway you pin the poor man up against the wall, your face now showing the anger you held back.

"Who do you think you are demanding 5 more years!? You don't get to ask for more with no soul. You belong to me now, your soul is mine for eternity. You never made a Deal with the devil if you are not prepared to pay the price." With that you snapped your fingers and the man was no longer there, nothing but a small piece of glowing blue light that flowed into your body. That's what a human soul had looked like.

David and his boys had split up trying to look for the girl they had seen leaving the video store, they lost her in the crowd and she didn't have a scent or at least they didn't get close enough to get one from her. David was starting to get annoyed was gonna give up and find his brothers until Dwayne had sent him a telepathic message that he had found her heading into woods, David chuckled and met up with all of them by the bikes and off they went.

You knew you were being followed, they were going to catch up in no time so why not have a little fun? You started running, slow enough for them to still see you. You were taunting them making this a game of cat and mouse, now tonight was starting to get interesting they were Max's boys definitely but he didn't set them on you no no, they are hungry and you will be their meal for the night or so they thought. You take a sharp turn away from the dirt path to go further into the woods so that they pull have to abandon their bikes and go on foot or fly if they must, if this was going to be a game might as well make it as fair as possible. The boys do as you planned they go on foot running faster to the point they were already catching up, you could hear Paul;s taunts he was the closest behind you, now if you played this out right you could lose them just a little further.

The boys skid and come to a stop, you had vanished from their sights and they had lost your scent again, Marko and Paul growled in frustration while David and Dwayne were trying to figure out how you out ran them, now you knew about them but they knew nothing about you and that's what made it so fun. It you were still there with them watching them as they circled the spot you left them in, you planned to stay at watch them a little longer but you couldn't wait any longer.

"Yoo hoo up here boys." All them them turned to look at you siting on a tree branch. "Looking for me?" You smirked down at them.

"Hey pretty lady, why don't you come down here and do this the easy way." The glam rocker known as Paul called up to you, you thought about it for a moment and you know Paul would be the most fun one to play around with. You shrugged your shoulders and got off the brunch but as son as you got down David already had his hand around your throat and against the tree you were just in, it shocked you but you chuckled bitterly.

"What the hell do you think you're playing at." He sneered however he has a slight smirk on his face too.

"You must be David no doubt." You looked at the others "Marko, Dwayne and Paul." You pointed to the boys as you said their names.

"How do you know that?"

"I know everything." You reply.

#the lost boys #the lost boys 1987 #the lost boys fanfiction #the lost boys headcanon #the lost boys imagine #the lost boys x reader #david the lost boys #dwayne the lost boys #lost boys x reader #marko the lost boys #the lost boys paul #the lost boys david #the lost boys dwayne #the lost boys marko #paul the lost boys #the lost boys fanfic

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rpbetter · 3 years

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Sorry if this isn't the place to ask but I'm in need of advice. I have a canon character I truly adore, but I haven't gotten muse or any opportunity to write them at all. My blog is collecting dust and the fandom is kinda dead at this point. Not to mention, it's hard to find compatible writing partners, especially with how picky I can be. I'm honestly considering deactivating the blog (for the nth time), but I don't want to lose the writing I have. I know I could archive, but I hate having blogs just sitting around.

In short, I really want to write the muse/keep the blog but I'm not getting any incentive to do that.

Hello, Anon, it’s totally the place to ask!

I will say, though, that since finding and keeping muse can be flavored rather personally, I can’t promise that what works for me is going to work for you. I’ll even confess that in over two decades, I’ve never personally lost muse. I don’t know if it is due to underlying, neurodiverse style, fixating, or if it is due to keeping myself continually invested in both my muse and writing regardless of what else is going on. (Probably a combination of both, though, and the things I do to keep myself highly in touch with my muse I’ll be recommending.) I’m definitely happy to try to help, however.

That really is a very frustrating spot to be in, wanting to write the muse and keep your blog active, but logging in every day to be reminded of what little reason you have to do so. Since we’re drawn to the characters we are for reasons of personal appeal and writing in itself is a pretty personal form of art, it can also feel depressing on top of the frustration.

However, that’s also the good news, in my opinion, because your incentive here is, or can be, yourself.

You were drawn to this character because you connected with them. They mean something to you, you can relate to them, maybe they have qualities (good or bad) that you wish you could experience. Whatever it is, there’s a reason why you had this draw. Writing is like that as well, there’s a reason why this is a hobby that drew you, that you get enjoyment out of. Again, though all art (it doesn’t matter if it is a hobby) has personal bits of the artist in it, writing is uniquely personal. When you write, you’re exploring thoughts and feelings, giving them life in a character that matters to you. I know, all of that sounds really convoluted and hokey, but it’s true.

And it’s good! That means you always have a reason to write and that you have the tools necessary to find and keep muse without any outside push necessary.

I’d say, firstly, work on getting muse back.

Get back in touch with your muse the next time you feel a particularly strong urge to write. Instead of spending time trying to find people in a silent fandom or forcing yourself to write something you don’t want to, just do some exercises that will help you get back into your muse.

I don’t know what media type your character comes from, but especially if it is something like movie or show that you can have on in the background of what you’re doing, do that. If it’s a comic or a book, think about your favorite scene and read it over first. If you’ve ever made some playlists for writing/your muse, you can always do that instead or as well. The point is to do something passively inspiring while you actively create. Now, that creating...

You want to do something that requires you to think about your muse so you can get in touch with them, not something that is going to make you feel overwhelmed and shut down. So, maybe don’t pick writing prompts for this - you can work up to that. Try out headcanon and character development memes and other question lists instead for right now. Things you can scroll down a list of, find questions that jump out as interesting (or even simply answerable to you at this point, you’re jump-starting a dead battery, it’s alright) and answer them. You can also do something as simple as write down what you like best about the character or their story, or put down the basics of filling in missing information that has always bugged you.

The beauty of this is that it is all on your own terms, your only objective here is to answer what you want, as much as you want. You can stop any time, but you can also answer a single question for three hours, making it eight pages long if the inspiration strikes you. It’s only about recharging your inspiration and establishing a connection with your character again. (This is also going to help you with getting back into writing, or approaching it for the first time, with a more internalized focus of interest.)

When you feel like you’ve done that, you can branch out on these exercises more. Answer the memes more in-depth, answer more of them/the ones you don’t have immediate answers for. You can also try writing out scenes from the character’s canon from their perspective, if it wasn’t already so, adding in their thoughts and feelings, or changing the scene in some ways that would be interesting to write out. This is the point where it’s a good idea to try a writing prompt or two, as well! Take the prompt as a sort of starter sentence from a mutual, you’ve got the situation, fill in with your muse.

Write when you feel like writing. The RPC is great at saying this when it comes to muns not wanting to write, but kind of ignores the other side of the equation. The side where you want to write, have the inspiration and muse to do so, but it might not be the best time. As in, you’re not home/wherever you usually write, with whatever device you tend to write on accessible. No, you’re not going to be able to get as much done, but you can write without the usual situation and device regardless. You can write a scene or ideas down using your phone or tablet, or go old school and use a notebook. If you’re at work and your job isn’t applicable to being able to get down a single sentence, that still doesn’t mean you have to wait 8+ hours to get home; while you’re taking your break, write a little bit. It is a break, and writing is your hobby, it isn’t work. It’s good to do things you enjoy on breaks, and far more fulfilling to have also accomplished something you happen to enjoy.

Not writing when you have the drive to do, putting it off and holding it in until “the perfect moment,” is a great way to lose your inspiration and never actually have that moment. If you feel like doing it, that means it is the perfect moment. Life is restricting, don’t impose even more restrictions on yourself by having to be at home, in a specific spot, with a specific device, at a specific time, on a specific day. Was that annoying repetition? You’re right, it was. And that’s how your creative mind processes all the crap piled onto it that doesn’t allow for creativity.

Now, the other problem, the fandom situation.

There isn’t anything you can do about that, to be absolutely honest. I’m not going to blow smoke and tell you to be positive, wait it out, maybe the fandom will spring to life again. You know, maybe it will...but you could be waiting literal decades for that to happen. Not cool. Please, take my word for that, it’s personal experience that it blows even more than you imagine it will.

What you can do is take the matter into your own hands in other ways; putting yourself out there with more availability in multiple ways.

Are you a single-fandom blog, or are you crossover friendly? If you’re not crossover friendly, try to think of a single, relatively popular fandom that you enjoy. Don’t look at it like a hassle, but rather, just another creative exercise. A serious pitfall of creating alternate universe versions of muses is to take the simplest route, merely picking something you want from that other universe and applying it to your muse with no relevant changes that would naturally occur from it. It isn’t just reductive as hell, it’s not remotely creative, it’s like sticking a sticker on your muse’s forehead and saying that’s a whole different muse. It’s neither attractive to potential partners nor going to sustain your own interest for long. You want this to be a passionate investment on your own end, for yourself.

What not to do:

Let’s say the fandom you picked to do crossovers with is based around magic, the main characters are witches, and they are divided into factions based on how their magical talents display and develop. Not only do you decide to make your muse a witch, you pick the most badass faction. It’s the one full of assassins and action and (metaphorically or literally) sex appeal. Well, that’s also going to be the most popular faction in the fandom. That means there will not only be plenty of big name canons there but also that there’s going to be a plethora of OCs designed just for this universe...and other crossovers from other currently active fandoms.

While that might sound like it’s great for maximizing interaction chances, it’s really not when you’re just starting somewhere new with a character from another fandom that might not be known or liked. It can also take a minute in another fandom’s RPC to identify where the good partners are. Every now and then, it is the most popular and over-populous era/faction/etc., but most of the time, it isn’t. People who write with considerable dedication and talent fairly rarely are in the popular kids club even in their fandom choices. By inserting yourself into that area, you might be bypassing (and being bypassed) by better partners on the assumption that their characters are simply going to bore you to death since they’re not within the scope of your focal point.

It’s not a situation of not being allowed to be picky, you not only have that right regardless of your situation, you also should be. This is not a “beggars can’t be choosers” situation, you’re not beholden to anyone on the basis of being new and bored. However, some of my best, and longest lasting, writing partners over all 23 years I’ve been RPing didn’t/don’t fit with all the exact surface details that automatically draw my interest. It is as true within my own fandom as it is in dealing with crossovers. Opposites (with enough similarities) really do attract and work out well together!

Don’t judge and write people off for anything that isn’t an issue of compatibility with your muse, your writing, or yourself. Decline someone because they do one line only and you are novella, they write topics that are upsetting to you, you can see no way your muse and theirs can interact without instant murder, or because you cannot stand writing with someone who is pulling 90% aesthetics and purple prose. Not because their muse is a witch who uses life-based magic, loves nature, is a healer, and into their health...while your muse in this AU is all about the death, only appreciates an urban environment and is grossed out by animals, kills as an occupation, lives on cheeseburgers and caffeine. You see what I’m saying? Don’t limit yourself unnecessarily!

What to do:

Did you consider if, in that hypothetical idea of a fandom, your muse based on their purely canon self would even fit into that faction? Or is it just something you wanted to see? If you didn’t consider this, or it was the latter, fix that. That’s bad.

If you’re not absolutely dead set on that and only that, think about what really does fit the muse better. Maybe, they would be better as a healer, someone who messes with the very fabric of reality, or someone who manipulates natural elements at will. Then again, they might not even be a witch. They could be more mundane in terms of power, but more accurate and interesting as a normal, human (or whatever). They could even be greatly opposed to the use of magic and witches. Use your muse’s original canon as a base to decide these things.

If you are absolutely dead set on it, though, you have a lot of work to do making the character into what amounts to a markedly different one while still retaining some recognizable aspects of themselves. Consider what events, in this new universe of fandom, might have happened to alter the character thus. Keep in mind that even small changes can have great consequences in a character’s development, and you might need to think about the myriad ways in which that can display, how it changes still more things for this character.

While that job becomes so much more intense when you haven’t planned out a path that matches your muse’s canon characterization at all, it is still an important part of constructing an AU, of any kind, in general. Ask yourself what experiences led to the character you know as you already know them (including your own headcanons, yes). Then, find similar possible experiences within your new fandom verse that can have the same effect. Again, though, it’s important to understand that you are never going to have an identical set of experiences, so you need to explore relevant changes still.

When you do this, you’re allowing your muse to more seamlessly fit into this other universe in a fleshed out, interesting way. Interesting both new partners and yourself.

Okay, next obnoxious question from me! Do you have multiple verses, or are you single-verse?

Whether you are already exploring new fandoms or not, by creating a variety of verses for others to interact with, you’re increasing your chances for interest and activity. When you have a verse from a different fandom you can then, additionally, advertise your presence in both that fandom’s tags when you do a promo or applicable open starter and on active RPer lists for that fandom.

Every popular fandom has such lists. You can get on them by messaging/sending an ask to the blog or by reblogging their post to be added, following the directions. I haven’t seen one yet that doesn’t allow for crossovers. You simply have to tag it as stated in the post, such as “your canon’s name here - original fandom name - crossover.” By tagging your open starter or promo as “-insert fandom here- rp” and “-fandom here- open starter” you allow people in that fandom to find you to interact. Either way is excellent for getting started in totally new places with a character others might be unfamiliar with.

Please remember that if you tag a promo as “promo,” it’ll not show up in searches off of your blog. You know, where it actually needs to be searched. Thanks, tumblr, for being janky! Being more specific as to the fandom and character will help others actually find you. Don’t shoot yourself in the foot by tagging it as “promo.”

Make your verses accessible on your blog itself, in the nature of those verses, and how you set up your page or post that lists them.

Don’t put any page behind an impossible or complicated aesthetic. You really shouldn’t anyway, but when you’re needing interactions, it’s actively hurting your chances. Many people don’t want to have to play a game with your theme, it’s a turn off. Try a pinned post that lists all of your links to important pages like rules, verses, and bio instead. It means that, even from the dash, that information can quickly be found while other muns are first interested, and also that anyone who might be using the app can access it more expediently. (I’m genuinely not a fan or big supporter of doing google docs for rules, verses, bios, etc., as it forces people off site, so I can’t personally say, in good conscious and honesty, that I’d recommend it, but you do you!) You want to keep things quickly accessible is the idea here; when people are interested, you want to catch them right then and there before they have a chance to forget and lose your blog.

As to the nature of the verses themselves, give people real options. Don’t have 20 verses that all read same way. Same themes, plot possibilities, and backstories, or incredibly similar names. Have a diverse list of verses that can act as foundations for a variety of different muns. As many fandoms as you can reasonably have a good portrayal of, and different types of fandoms; not all the same genre (all fantasy, all horror, all scifi). Verses where your muse has substantially different goals, occupations, and other life situations that will involve another muse; don’t make your muse A Warrior™ in every verse, you can keep plenty of those aspects without being that literal. People love “modern” verses set in our own universe and, usually, in our own era. That doesn’t mean you have to go stereotypical or otherwise bore yourself by doing the standard “high school/college verse,” for instance. You don’t even have to designate that sort of thing, let alone make it the focus; simply create the verse by considering what your character really would be like if they existed within your reality.

As a final note on verses as pertains to this point, when you’re doing crossover verses, it’s alright to do some verses where your muse from their own canon existence somehow ends up teleported or whatever to another fandom’s reality, or even our own. Just don’t make every verse like this, it puts the onus of a great deal of creativity and effort onto the other mun by default; your muse has cluelessly dropped into the universe, and while it is high drama time for you, the other mun has to babysit, educate, deal with fallout, etc.

On making the list of your verses accessible, you want to focus on ease of browsing and not being overwhelming. People tend to look through a verse page and not read every verse listed, rather, they look at the titles and breakdowns to see if it is of interest, then read it. Don’t try to make everyone read them all, it isn’t going to happen, and shouldn’t change your effort any as the right people are going to find the verses that interest them...if you make it clear and easy enough.

Have a basic format you stick to, firstly. I do it this way: small verse banner, title of verse (linked to its overall tag so that muns can look through the tag at headcanons, aesthetics, pictures of the FC, and threads), muse age/age range, small blurb, possible triggers found uniquely or just heavily within this verse. In that order, one following the other in a simple, but pleasing way. Below that, is a more in depth breakdown of the “verse canon.” Sometimes, that is giving a brief rehashing of canon itself and anywhere my muse differs, be it in this verse only or overall, ending with where my muse is in this verse. Not literally where. I mean their present occupation, emotional and general state in life. At the very end, I provide any other relevant links and/or an expansion on the triggers mentioned at the top of the verse description if they’re that serious/recurrent so that muns can decide this isn’t the verse for them. I happen to have a potentially triggering muse, triggering verses, and writing triggering topics, though. That’s not something everyone needs to do.

Secondly, group your verses in a sensible way. I do my short list of default verses first. (And, I do mean short, you don’t want this be any more than four or five, it is overwhelming right out of the gate.) For me, that is two default verses of canon at different points on the timeline, one default AU that is a bit of a reversal of canon, and one default “modern” verse. Then, I list the verses that are in line with the altered canon one, just different possibilities, changes, points in history. After that, the different “modern” verse options. Then, verses for other fandoms, the crossover verses. And so on. This way, a potential partner can find the type of verse that might appeal to them and have an easier time picking from those possibilities and getting ideas.

Lastly, don’t be so succinct that you give too little information and underwhelm, but also don’t be so excessive that it takes all of the mystery of interaction away and overwhelms someone. It can be a difficult balance to strike, and some verses require more information than others, just experiment a bit. Additionally, it’s fine to link to pertinent information for the other mun to view aside from this, but don’t just link people to a fandom wiki as your “description/bio.” That isn’t giving information on how you write this muse, approach this fandom, or what another mun can otherwise expect. Keeping your descriptions interesting is important, you’re not giving a boring lecture, you’re trying to inform someone while making them hyped for their choices. It’s more interesting, and informative, to read if you do them with an ear to the “tone” of your muse in that verse. Is it a sad one? Sound that way. These can, indeed, function as snippets of your writing, so be sure you are writing them with the same care you should be giving your replies; spellcheck, good word flow and use, mind the grammar, and read over what you’ve written for common, easy mistakes.

Again, by giving a genuine variety of verses to choose from, you’re allowing for a greater reach in potential partners. Everyone from those still in your original fandom to those in new ones, all the way to fandomless muses will be able to interact with you this way.

Finally, in regards to what you can change or do when you’re in a dead fandom and seeking interactions; make sure you are increasing your reach by using proper tags, being honest about what and how you write, and don’t wait for others to stumble across you.

When you use tags properly, you’re increasing your chances of being seen at all. Every time you post something at all applicable on your blog, tag it with relevant things. Tag as described above with whatever fandom it is and “RP,” your character’s name, “open RP,” character name and RP, indie RP, open starter, and so on. Be sure you are optimizing your tags by placing the most relevant to finding you in the first four, those are what show up in site-wide searches only. Anything after that isn’t going to appear in a search across all tumblr.

By tagging your character’s name, as a canon, you should know that you are likely to get personal blog interaction. I’m pretty against being nasty to personal blogs for no reason, as I don’t appreciate personal and fandom blogs being shitty to me for the sole reason that I am an RPer. Please, use clear, short, attention getting directions for them. If you want no interactions with them, put right in the description of your blog “RP blog, does not interact with personal blogs.” When you say things like, “personals dni,” or “personals blocked,” you’re not doing anyone any favors. Personal blogs often don’t even know what the hell a personal blog even is! They do not denote themselves this way, to a personal blog, they’re just a blog. By designating first that you are an RP blog, you’re making it clearer that they’re the personal; they’re obviously not an RP blog, so that must make them a personal. Follow this up in a pinned post, right on top. Give a note to personal blogs that describes them as “any blog that isn’t an RP blog” first, then either tell them in brief what they can and can’t do or that you don’t interact and will block.

I don’t recommend taking your blog off of being findable, however. That’s alright once you have the RP activity you are looking for, but until then, it’s working against you. Other RP blogs cannot easily find you either, they will only find you if you’re on a list or appear in their recommended blogs, if you interact with a mutual, or are recommended by a mutual. You’re not just lessening your chances of personal blogs finding you, so if you have that turned off, turn it back on.

Don’t entirely rely on others finding you regardless, though. You can’t be 100% passive when you have no interactions, and by relying solely on serendipity you’re far less likely to get them. I know that everyone here is terminally shy, but seriously, you have to do more than put your silent will into the universe that someone perfect find you. You have to make this happen. Once you get a few people, you can afford to be more passive. Not only do you have some people to write with, you will be more visible to their mutuals, and more established as a presence. I’m not saying this is easy, or that it will become easy, not awkward or stressful, if you have a legitimate issue behind the shyness. Just that it is the only way to really proceed, and I believe you can do it!

So, go looking for interesting blogs. Be crossover and OC friendly (again, this doesn’t mean “accept everyone,” there are valid reasons for not accepting people you won’t work out with that have nothing to do with their fandom or being an OC), and search those fandom’s RPCs, following any blogs you think you might work out with upon reading their rules and other pages. Search for fandomless OCs and do the same thing. Fandomless OCs aren’t just floating around in the ether, they just weren’t created expressly for a particular fandom and within its confines. What is excellent about that is their ability to have a wide variety of verses and many possibilities to fit into any fandom or verse. So, don’t count them out solely on the basis of being an OC and fandomless. It doesn’t mean what people seem to think it does!

Do not stop at having followed 50 blogs. I mean, other than that you probably should stop following people for a bit. That you should do, as you need to be building writing relationships here, not following so many people that you cannot get to them. Don’t just stop at the follow, though. Since you’ve read their rules and information like a good RP partner, you should have some idea of what their interests are and where they align with yours, as well as how they prefer to be approached, if they accept memes right away to start, need plotting, have a rules password. When they’ve followed you back, proceed with interaction!

Ask if they’d like to plot when they have time, you’re really looking forward to writing with them. But...have some idea of a plot, please. It is a serious turn off to have someone message you wanting to plot, only to reply and get “lol I don’t have any ideas, anything works for me/whatever you want to do.” That isn’t plotting, it’s one party coming up with ideas and constructing a plot while they’re being told “I’m fine with anything.” That may be true, but it’s disheartening and a red flag for many people. If you genuinely can’t come up with anything, pick verses that match up well and suggest doing something within them.

“When you have the time, would you be interested in discussing writing? I was looking at your verses, and I think your verse -name- and mine, -verse name-, would mesh well.” Is a good way to start. Once you have a discussion flowing about the verses meshing and the muses, it’s typically easy to organically develop some plot ideas to go off of.

If both you and the other mun are alright with plot-free interaction and memes, you can send a meme any time. If you can’t find any memes on their blog, look for a wishlist or navigation page that shows you the tags for memes/wishlist. Still can’t find it? Ask them if they’ve got a wishlist or meme tag you can look through.

Additionally, if open starters are a thing you both do and are alright with, find some of theirs and respond. Post your own, tag it appropriately to be found in general and on your blog, and reblog it once or twice. Don’t excessively reblog it, and don’t get upset on the dash if no one interacts with it or any memes you reblog. Both are demanding to outright guilting, and not a good way to get partners. Just provide them with the ability to easily interact by making the posts available in the first place and by making them findable on your blog search and navigation.

Provide something for potential partners to see. Since you said you already do have writing, that’s great! That’s content on your blog that your partners can view. However, since you’re also having the issues you’ve stated, it’s likely that you haven’t many new posts. Show that you are active, interested in being here, and how you write your muse (and in general) by posting some newer content. For original content, do a headcanon or some meta, or post about new verses you are adding, the changes on your blog, a promo. For reblogs, things pertaining to your muse like canon imagery, fanart, quotes from canon or that generally express your muse, and aesthetics relevant to your muse are all excellent things to queue.

Use that queue. Not only do very few people appreciate having dash spam of similar content for the comparatively short time you might be around, but also, running these things on a queue means you spread that out for maximum view. While there are hours of heavier activity, you’ll have mutuals who are on at unusual hours due to their life and preferences or their timezone. This way, you’re not appearing inactive, if not outright invisible, to those mutuals. It’s not a bad idea to use a queue tag so that people know if they interact with a post that’s been queued, you might be here to quickly respond.

Ultimately, to fix your fandom and lacking partners problem, you just need to up your availability and reach beyond that fandom alone. Be proactive in following and approaching, decline blogs based on not working out only, utilize tags and fandom RPer lists, have everything on your blog easy to follow and not overwhelming, and have your verses meet as wide of a range of people as possible while also not being overwhelming.

Try updating your promo, as well, by the way. They’re not dead, they just really tanked when people kept making them based solely on aesthetic principle instead of being at all informative about the muse. They do seem to be coming back, so it’s a thing to consider.

Yes, make it visually appealing, it will draw people to reading it. No, do not just use a song lyric or quote with words highlighted linking your rules, verses, bio. Tell people basic info like the age of your muse and yourself, if you are multiverse and multiship, your muse’s canon verse and a couple of big interest verses of other major fandoms or themes that tend to be of interest to people, and what kind of RP you write - one line/para/multipara/novella. Absolutely give links to rules, verses, bio, and either memes, wishlist, or open starters, but give them just like that; make it very clear what this link is to. Put a very short statement of interest on there denoting that you’re expanding to new fandoms and looking for writing partners.

Do not sound desperate, demanding, or devaluing of yourself. Don’t say shit like “because my fandom is dead,” “trying this before I give up and delete my blog,” or “I suck at interaction/writing/ooc interaction/being a person but welp giving it a try, so follow and hit that heart.” (Conversely, calling yourself derogatory things and implying that your partners are too, such as the “we’re all just losers here” shit.) All of the above are not attractive, and they’re not even surprising enough to stand out anymore. It’s another reason to scroll right by that promo because nothing at all was different or of interest.

And as a wrap-up/rehash of the first topic, getting muse back: try starting over at the beginning by approaching the media involving your muse that has really stuck with you emotionally over the years, and exploring and developing your muse again.

Don’t tell yourself you can only write, for example, at home, on the laptop, after 7pm, and with a pop toy staring at you. The best thing about writing, as opposed to so many other hobbies, is that you can do it anywhere! So, do that. Do it any time you both feel the inspiration to do so and aren’t going to get fired or expelled for it. This isn’t work, it’s something enjoyable that does take effort (like literally all creative activities and skills do), but approaching it as though you need to follow novel writing advice from someone who has never published anything of note and isn’t you on the internet, with strict rules for success makes it feel that way. So does being frustrated with a dead fandom, no interaction. It’s disheartening, feels as annoying and fruitless as work often does. You probably need to break out of that mindset, and you can only do it by beginning to allow yourself to be creative on your own terms, entirely for yourself.

Do write simple things at first that you are inspired to do (you can’t get a scene out of your head, or a bit of dialogue), and/or headcanon/character development memes and question lists. Build from there as you get back in touch with your muse, writing things primarily or entirely for yourself still. Expanding on headcanons, doing some meta, or maybe writing out a missing piece of canon or what you’d be interested in seeing happen in canon if some event was altered.

Doing this sort of thing, you are getting in touch with your muse again and back into the real spirit of writing creatively, simultaneously.

Whatever you find most inspiring, do it. If it’s watching the movie or show again, do that, have it on while you write or simply think on the character’s actions, thoughts, and emotions during those scenes. If it’s reading the material again, do that, and read snippets of personal importance before you write. Maybe it’s some past playlists you can have on while writing, or even while you’re cleaning, walking the dog, driving or riding somewhere. It could even be your own previous writing! Go ahead and re-read that, it sounds like you still appreciate it, and that’s truly promising. If you find that you’re horrified by some of the things you’ve written in the more distant past, hey...that’s not just valid as hell, it’s natural. You know what else it is? An inspiration. You can clearly see that you could do better, that means you now know how to do better and are ready to do so. Validate yourself, prove it to yourself by rewriting or fixing something.

Don’t delete the blog or archive it. It is unpleasant to have a dead blog around, but don’t keep it dead. Use the same blog and simply transition it into wider things that will net you more partners and the interactions you deserve.

Look, even if you weren’t the most popular blog in your fandom before it went quiet, you really appreciated the blog, muse, and writing you were doing. You’ve defined that it wasn’t something you did to cause this situation, you just had the shit luck we all run into eventually of being in a fandom that ran out of material or interest. People are really fickle, so by taking a wider approach and fixing on the writing and muse instead of fandom now, you’re stopping this from repeating. Seriously, on a long enough timeline, every fandom dies or goes into hibernation. If you make a whole new blog with a different muse, it is going to happen again eventually.

So, don’t feel like you’re ridiculously clinging to the past and need to move on, you’re just sticking to something and can continue to stick to it through the next five fandom deaths. Just because it is the most popular thing to do to drop muses, constantly add new ones, and have this attitude that you can “blog refresh” your way out of recurrent, and inherent, problem doesn’t mean it is actually the right thing to do. It’s not even the most sensible, and certainly not the best thing to do with anything you’ve spent time and effort on.

That’s your incentive; yourself, the time and care you’ve put in, and your continued interest in writing and the muse. You’ll find good people, and bluntly, everyone else can fuck right off when you’re incentivized by yourself. It becomes a self-fulfilling activity at that point, I swear, and it feels really nice.

Just get back in touch with your muse and writing itself so that you can begin to expand and start interacting again!

#rp advice #rp problems #rp help #muse loss #dead fandoms #rp better #Anon E. Mous #answered

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monstersandmaw · 3 years

Note

Evening to ya, Ghosti✌️😆

Sorry if the wording sounds silly, but I wanted to ask if you know any rituals I could do for the New Years. 🤣 Christmas hasn't been exactly an easy time for me for various reasons and I tend to get the holiday blues pretty bad, and for a long old while New Years has felt very similar. I'm doing my best to feel hopeful and to have some faith for the new year, but it's turning out to be trickier than I anticipated. So I wanted to ask for suggestions as to do anything that could help feeling more hopeful, I dunno. :3

Though feel free to ignore this if you don't have the energy for it. I hope you had delightful holiday however you celebrated!!! 😊💖💖💖💖

Hey anon! (it’s now afternoon here in the UK, and it was morning when I started this! I got a bit carried away). I don’t know that I’m necessarily the right person to ask about this, but here are some ideas of things I’ve found helpful/centring/calming anyway which you could draw from. Other folks, please feel free to chime in with your favourite ways to put the old year to bed and welcome in the new one!

(first of all, I’m sending you lots of virtual ghostli hugs to help drive away those holiday blues. That sucks, and I’m so sorry it’s been so tough for you.)

Here’s a rundown of what’s below, and I’ll put in a ‘keep reading’ so that it’s not an incredibly long post! Some of it is more on the ‘spiritutal’ side of things, and others are just mundane and practical things.

Congratulate yourself on making it through the clusterfuck that was 2020

Make some tea and meditate on what’s been and what you wish for

Go outside, be still, and breathe deeply

Let go of negative events and thoughts by writing them down, then safely burning the paper

Disconnect from social media for a few days (or however long you’re comfortable with)

Start a bullet journal

Write lists of goals for 2021 and then refine/distill them down to 3 manageable objectives

Commit 100% to 6 months of positive change

Pick three dates/months in the year when good things will happen, and make them happen (including growing veg/fruit)

Light a candle on the full moon or New Year

Ok, so, first of all, you’ve made it through this year!! That’s no small accomplishment, given the sheer volume of absolute shite that has been flung at us from all angles, no matter where in the world you live. Celebrate that. Seriously, I’m not being flippant. Take a moment of stillness wherever you are, be ‘present’, and just think about the fact that you’re here, right now, reading this post. Not everyone is here any more for one reason or another, but you did it. Congratulate yourself and celebrate that. Treat yourself to a slice of cake (or something you really enjoy) specifically to celebrate making it through 2020.

Make a cup of tea (try a new blend or recipe perhaps, or stick with your absolute favourite), or make a comforting drink of your choice. As you pour the water into the cup, breathe in the steam and enjoy the scent of it. Try and imbue all the positive things - memories, achievements, moments etc. - that you encountered this year into the tea/drink, and think about them growing in strength as the tea steeps, and envisage them continuing on to next year too. When you drink the tea, you take the positive thoughts into yourself and they become a part of you. You could try it in the morning with a caffeinated drink (if you enjoy those) and let it fuel you for the day, or you could try a herbal tea at night to let the good vibes steep overnight while you rest. Make it part of your daily routine; a private meditation.

Go outside and find a quiet spot somewhere and either stand or sit and just soak up the atmosphere. If there’s a tree nearby, think about the way its roots are planted in the earth, its trunk stands tall, and its branches reach towards the sky. Feel that space inside you. Breathe deeply in and out, visualising your lungs filling to the deepest parts, starting at the bottom. Count to four for each inhale, and six out (or whatever you’re comfortable with, so long as the exhale is longer than the inhale). This will help to still you and calm you.

If you have something fireproof (can just be a ceramic bowl), take a piece of paper and make a moment to write down all the negative things about this year, using a pen that you’re comfortable with. If you’re not one for words, draw pictures. You can make it really beautiful or just scribble it all down - it doesn’t matter. Get that shit out. Look at it for a while and read it through, mentally letting go of each thing as your eyes pass over it, then light one corner (carefully!!!) and let it burn somewhere with good ventilation (a cooker hood is good for that, but outside is better). Visualise all that negativity being swallowed by the universe and let it go. My favourite line from the Seamus Heaney translation of Beowulf comes at Beowulf’s funeral when a Geat woman is singing her grief at his passing to the sky, and there’s the simple sentence: “Heaven swallowed the smoke.” How beautiful is that? The sky swallowed up her grief as she poured it out to the universe. The negativity might take some time to vanish from your life (it’s not going to disappear at the same time as the paper, sadly!), but watching it go can be the first stage of letting things go. I did this last year, and I’m only just letting go of the last things on that list, but it was a start, and it made me feel more at peace.

Disconnect from social media. I know that with so much more happening online this year out of necessity, we’ve become even more dependant on our phones and computers, and it’s wonderful that we have this chance to connect with people when we can’t see them face to face, but social media can also act as a crucible for negative feelings. People usually post the best or the worst aspects of what’s going on for them or what they care about, so it leads to a skewed view of both the world and of what’s going on amongst our connections. It’s easy to start feeling insignificant next to someone else because of their achievements or their looks etc. and it’s also easy to start to get a bleak outlook when the news is full of terrible stories and people are reacting to it in a volatile and often knee-jerk way. Take some time off - uninstall the apps, or put the limiter setting on, or just step back - for a day, two days, a week, whatever you’re comfortable with. It doesn’t have to be forever. If you use those platforms to talk to people, tell them what you’re doing, and give them another way to reach you if they need. No need to isolate yourself completely!! Think about how you felt before you started it (write it down?) and do the same afterwards, and compare. If it didn’t work for you, then that’s fine too.

Start a bullet journal! Now is the perfect time to start bullet journaling. I first started this year when I felt like time was slipping through my fingers and my life was out of my control, and it’s really helped me to get a sense of order back. It’s not the magic cure-all for procrastinators and time wasters, trust me, but it can help to organise your mind as well as your day, and keep track of your habits etc. It can be literally whatever tool you need it to be. There’s a trend on social media - particularly Instagram and YouTube - that shows off these gorgeous journals that are basically works of art in themselves, and while it’s absolutely fine to aspire to that if you want to, the essential point of the bullet journal is to be a tool. You can buy print-outs from Etsy if you don’t fancy doing your own spreads. But don’t get completely hung up on pretty spreads and layouts because you won’t use it fully then. If you’ve got ‘new book fear’, like I did, make your own! I literally started my journaling by folding a few pieces of paper over, slapping a few stickers on them to cheer them up, and writing some lists. I didn’t buy a ‘proper’ journal until July 2020 when I’d got the hang of what I wanted out of the tool, and how to use it. I adapted one or two things, and I’ll be changing one or two things for next year, but it was a good way to start.

Here are two ‘minimalist’ journals and styles that I found helpful when setting mine up. They focus on usefulness and practicality, rather than overwhelming, artistic spreads and cutesy designs. I’m about to do a ‘plan with me 2021’ journal video for YouTube, so I’ll put that up when I’ve finished it, in case that’s helpful.

Elsa Rhae

Pick Up Limes

Write down the things you want to achieve for 2021. These can be more abstract concepts like ‘more organised’ ‘healthier’ ‘start a business’ etc. Then, when you’ve got as many things as you’d ideally love to achieve/accomplish/manifest (don’t hold back at that stage), take another piece of paper and choose a maximum of six from that first lot to focus on, and below that, choose just three absolutely essential things to focus on. Make those your things for 2021.

Now, this one is a personal one for me, so it may not be applicable at all to you/others, but I’ll share it anyway. For me, I need to make some significant lifestyle changes for my physical and mental health. So, I’ve decided to commit to 6 months of really hard work to bring about those changes. Time is going to pass anyway, from January to June. Six months will come and go anyway. Where will I be in six months’ time? I could be physically and mentally exactly where I am today. That thought is super depressing to me. Or, I could devote 200% focus, commitment, and energy, and bring about those changes, and be the ‘me’ I want to be in six months’ time.

It’s like the adage of ‘given a week to write a speech, it will take you a week, but given a day to write the same speech, it will take you a day’ - your brain will tell you it takes the amount of time that you have at hand to accomplish the task, and that’s simply how long it then takes. Use those three things from the 2021 list above, and commit to making those three things happen.

As an aside, tell someone (whose opinions you value) that you’re going to do this. By telling someone, you’re helping to cement the idea in reality, and you’ve got a support to turn to if it gets rocky, someone to cheer you on, and someone to celebrate with who knew what a struggle and commitment this was to you in the first place.

Pick three points in the year where good things will happen. Book yourself something nice, save up for something and have it delivered then, or tell yourself that you will have achieved [x] by May, or September, or December. For me, it’s a working draft of my novel, and certain health goals by October, but make it yours, and keep those points fixed in your mind. It will help 2021 not to be one amorphous mass of time, and will give it structure and form. You could also choose to grow something in a pot - lots of vegetables can be grown cheaply from seed in a pot on a windowsill, and you’ll have something tasty to eat at the end of it!!

Here’s a slightly gentler idea to finish with:

On New Year’s Eve take a moment to yourself, go outside if it’s not raining or too cold etc., light a candle, hold it (safely) in your hands, and be still. It doesn’t have to be exactly at midnight, but it will help your focus if it’s dark. Otherwise, go to a quiet part of the house and turn the lights down so that the candle flame is your focus. As before, think about what you’ve achieved this year, and be honest, not just negative! It’s very easy to say ‘oh I didn’t achieve anything, it all sucks, it was all awful’, when there will be tiny victories tucked away in there, I promise you, even if it was the toughest year of your life. Then think about where you are at the moment, mentally and physically. Acknowledge that state of being. Look at it with honest eyes. This moment is not for anyone else, so you don’t need to colour it one way or another. It’s for you. If you’re finding it hard not to be negative, be neutral. Let those thoughts come and go, and then turn your mind to the future. Mentally feed those negative thoughts into the flame in front of you, one at a time. Say it out loud if that helps, but do what makes you comfortable. Let the light from the flame fill your mind and your heart, and think about your intentions for the new year.

Tonight (30th Dec) is a full moon, so if that is significant for you, you may wish to do this tonight instead of tomorrow.

I hope that some of that gives you some inspiration, and I hope that people will chime in with their own new year’s rituals and habits. Be honest with yourself but not harsh, and be positive but not unrealistic. This year has been one hell of a ride, and we’re not done yet... Here in the UK, we’ve got the highest numbers of Covid that we’ve ever had, we’re in the harshest lock down (Tier 4) and can’t visit anyone, and we’re also going through Brexit (which is proving a nightmare for everyone, especially small businesses...).

Control the things you can control, and learn and employ systems to ride out the things that are beyond your influence. And take heart - you have a family of folks on here, all across the world!

#new year ritual #new year #resolutions #new year resolutions #rituals #ritual

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supercantaloupe · 3 years

Note

📚🥰🍄📒🎁

📚 favorite fandom for write for? - recently it's been dimension 20, and specifically fantasy high, though i would love to branch out and write more for the other campaigns if i could come up with the ideas for em

🥰 fave fic you’ve written? - long/multi-chapter fic would probably be my recently-finished Extra Credit, but The Perfect Loving Family is proooooobably my fave single-part work so far. maybe my fave of everything, idk. it's so hard to pick! i generally don't post something unless i'm pretty happy with how it turned out myself.

🍄how do you get yourself in the mood to write? - honestly, i kind of don't? i wait for the mood/motivation to strike me. actually sitting down to write usually involves me getting comfy somewhere on a bed or couch without too much noise. sometimes i'll put on some non-distracting music to work to but other times i just work in relative silence

📒any fics planned? - would like to finish Spelling Bee at some point, and i have a concept for a short tuc fic, following a certain battle that would end rather differently from canon, but i'm still kind of sitting on those for a while. i don't have immediately plans right now (i'm kind of taking a break since finishing Extra Credit and am not sure when or what i'll write next) but i'm considering doing one of the d20 fic events

🎁 have a quote from a WIP? - i have basically no WIPs right now. so here's something from a chapter i wrote for an au idea almost as a proof-of-concept. i have no idea if i'll ever actually expand this into a full fic or not but i like the au concept a lot

“No,” Adaine cut them off, fingers curling into fists. “No. It’s awful.”

Garthy squinted a bit in confusion. “The Oracle is invaluable to the elven people, surely you’d be well attended and revered--”

Adaine cut them off again with a harsh laugh. “You’d think, right? You’d think it’d be pampering and adoration and power and anything you could ever want, right? That you can go where you please and do as you like and just read off your predictions like it’s the simplest thing in the world and there’s nothing but praise and love and all that nonsense, right?” Her words picked up speed, edged with frustration and anger. She bit her lip and glanced away. Garthy shared a look with Ayda. “...you’d think,” Adaine repeated quietly after a beat.

“...ah,” Garthy said, nodding very slowly.

[ask meme]

#ask meme #sasha answers #gendermybeloved #ty!!#let the poet bless this round #man i forgot about that au. maybe i SHOULD write more. it was cool #fantasy high

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chaotically-cas · 3 years

Text

Somewhere Only We Know

Ok this isn’t the wlw one cause i had an idea & I ran with it but ok basically this is the song + the fic. You’ll see. The song is in italics. I suggest listening to it if/while you read. Thanks!!

Warnings: mention of death, sadness, crying, etc

Pairing: Steve & Sodapop

Word Count: 1,259

- - -

Steve’s father had just kicked him out of the house again. God knows for how long this time. So he started walking back a very familiar root to the Curtis' house.

I walked across an empty land

It’s a walk he has done to his best friend Soda’s house for years now. And every time he’s done it he’s cursing out his father and their awful relationship, if you can even call it that.

I knew the pathway like the back of my hand

It wasn’t a long walk but long enough to get Steve thinking about life. About all the times before where he has taken the same painful steps.

I felt the earth beneath my feet

But as soon as he saw the Curtis’ house about a half a block away he picked up his head and grew a genuine half smile. It was a comforting sight.

Sat by the river and it made me complete

As soon as Steve walked in the door he saw Soda asleep on the couch slow stir and smile at him. But Steve physically and mentally couldn’t return the smile anymore.

Oh simple thing, where have you gone?

Soda instantly could tell he wasn’t alright. But then again he usually wasn’t when he showed up this late. Soda nodded to the front porch and they both exited the house into the cold night chill.

I'm getting old and I need something to rely on

“I just can’t take it anymore” Steve sobbed into his hands as Soda wrapped his arms around him to comfort him as he shook uncontrollably.

So tell me when you're gonna let me in

“It’s gonna be ok Steve. It has to be. We all love ya” Soda said in a gentle tone worrying that any wrong would could set him off even more. “It’ll be ok”.

I'm getting tired and I need somewhere to begin

Steve just shook his head and tried to stifle down his sobs. He stared at the ground in a rage or pure frustration, sadness, & brokenness.

I came across a fallen tree

Steve looked so broken to Soda. He had never ever seen him this bad off before. It took something out of Soda. It took everything in him not to start bawling himself.

I felt the branches of it looking at me

“I want him dead, Soda. It’s him or me man” Steve whispered. “It’s him or me”. Soda just looked at the ground along with Steve. He didn’t know how to respond. Who did?

Is this the place we used to love?

They just sat there for a good 15 minutes. The crisp air chilling their shivering bodies. They were both freezing but neither dare admit it. It wasn’t the time.

Is this the place that I've been dreaming of?

They’ve sat in silence many times before. But this time was different. Something had changed in the both of them. Something had broken.

Oh simple thing, where have you gone?

“I miss being a kid” Soda sighed, breaking the silence. “Me too” mumbled Steve, picking at his thumb nail. That’s all the needed to say to be on the same page.

I'm getting old and I need something to rely on

“But we ain’t kids no more Soda” Steve added sadly. God in that moment did they both just wish to be kids again. To be carefree. Without worry. Not broke.

So tell me when you're gonna let me in

Neither of them wanted to accept it. Life had changed and was never going back. It only seemed to be getting worse and worse. Nothing seemed good no more.

I'm getting tired and I need somewhere to begin

Steve felt another hot tear burn down his face before landing on the wood of the patio. That’s all they heard in that moment. His tear. Their breath. And crickets.

And if you have a minute, why don't we go

Steve just wanted to jump up and run as far and fast as his shaking legs would carry him. He bet Soda was feeling about the same right then too.

Talk about it somewhere only we know?

“Hey Soda”. “Yeah”. “You ever think bout running away. You know, like how Pony and poor Johnny did”. “No I don’t. I might’ve, but I got myself a life here. Might not be the best one but it's the only one I got”.

This could be the end of everything

Steve nodded slowly trying to understand what Soda meant. He kinda got it. And in a way he knew Soda was right. You can run all you want but it’s not gonna change nothing.

So why don't we go somewhere only we know?

Soda knew that Steve got what he was getting at by the perplexed look on his best friend's face. He didn’t know what else to say. Even if he did, he didn’t want to because he could tell Steve was thinking real hard.

Somewhere only we know

Steve just kept right on thinking. Soda couldn’t tell what about. And to be honest, neither could Steve. The thoughts kept coming too fast to process them fully.

Oh simple thing, where have you gone?

But he knew one thing for sure. His anger wasn’t going away any time soon. And it hadn’t for a while. It had just been collecting and collecting upon this big dam.

I'm getting old and I need something to rely on

But now that dams broke. The waters flooded. The city’s ruined. The people drowned. Now that’s what you call damage. He was damaged beyond words at this very moment.

So tell me when you're gonna let me in

The two of them sitting on the porch. Not saying nothing. Not feeling nothing but anger. Not knowing what to say or how to say it. Not even knowing when to move.

I'm getting tired and I need somewhere to begin

Steve let out a long shaky sigh. “The world seems pretty damn cruel Soda. But at least I got me a buddy like you”. Soda cracked a half smile.

And if you have a minute, why don't we go

“You’re not too bad yourself” Soda chuckled, making Steve break into a small smile in the corners of his mouth. He bumped him on the shoulder.

Talk about it somewhere only we know?

Soda bumped him back in response. There wasn’t too much more to say. They knew that as shitty as life could get they had each other. And they didn’t even wanna think of what would happen if not, cause that’s even shittier.

This could be the end of everything

They sat in silence for another minute or so before Soda piped up again. “You feelin any better” Soda asked hesitantly. Already anticipating the answer.

So why don't we go? So why don't we go?

“I ain’t so much in total. But it’s better knowing I ain’t alone Sodapop” Steve signed scratching his foot against the dust and dirt that had gathered on the wood step.

Oh, this could be the end of everything

“Golly ain’t that the truth” Sodapop chucked relieved. Steve let out a small but not quite forced laugh at Soda’s optimistic presence.

So why don't we go somewhere only we know?

And again, they fell into a comfortable silence. Again only hearing the crickets and their breath. Steve wasn’t crying no more. I don’t think he could.

Somewhere only we know

“Heya Steve” Soda spoke hesitantly. “Can I kiss ya?”

Somewhere only we know

#the outsiders #the outsiders headcanons #the outsiders memes #the outsiders incorrect quotes #the outsiders book #the outsiders steve #sodapop headcanons #steve randle headcanon #the outsiders movie #the outsiders sodapop #stevepop headcanon #stevepop #steve randle #sodapop curtis

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stuck-in-jelly · 6 years

Text

Day 9: Witch's and Hot Chocolate

Me tiptoeing into the bnhawlw2018 tag: I uh can explain.

"SEASONAL DEPRESSION!!"

I'm getting better so I wrote as much as I could to make up for my tardiness @bnhawlwmonth

--------------------------

This is going to be quick she assured herself, all she had to do was get some herbs. She told herself thing but starting into the woods she didn't feel so sure, the way the branches reached outwards to the world as is pleading to be apart from the forest itself, the errire silence that crept into her very soul whispering for her to leave, and the darkness of the trees cramped together hiding any sunlight as if huddling together for comfort or warmth. She really needs to stop thinking!

She just needs a few herbs from this place just a few, this potion required them and she was desperate. With a sigh the young witch reached into her traveling bag and pulled out a small wand if you could call it that.

It was stout but cute, made of ash wood the wand was adorn with many decorations and charms; around the entirety of the wand copper wire weaved around beautifully, from underneath the copper special runes were carved into the base ( Laguz, Sowilo, Algiz, Eihwaz, Hagalaz, Wunjo, Kenaz, and Ansuz) all meant to help her.

Covering the bottom base was a light blue cloth simply their to make the wand eaiser to grasp, and last but not least tied on the bottom by a yarn was several crystals and bells.

Last but not least on the top her name was carved 'Yuyu'.

Taking a breath Yuyu closed her eyes casted a small protection spell on herself the words rolling off her tounge by instinct. Opening her eyes she straightened herself and took her first step into the unknown.

The darkness seemed to engulf her and in seconds the dim sunlight was barely viable. She muttered another spell and her wand jerked small lights radiating from the copper before racing to the tip and out in the air and small sparks before a baby blue light appeared by her side and quickly leaped from place to place lighting the area and waiting patiently to see where theirs summoner would travel.

Yuyu kept her eyes in the ground hoping to find the herbs quick. Clove, clover, and Camomile. Just those three. And these woods are said to be covered in herbs perfect for witches then again it is also said here some dangerous witches casted horrible spells meant only for harm. Again she has to stop thinking!!

The wind picks up and the light flickers and ducks behind a tree as Yu tries to hold her bag in place. Strange. Her spells told her it wouldn't be windy at all.

Shaky it off she ushered the light and follow quickly

"Common on now, lets hurry then you won't have to be hiding there"

She was full aware the light had no sentiance but it felt nice talking to it when she was nervous, almost as if she isn't alone. The light obeyed and jumped up scanning the area quickly before waiting again.

Walking off the young witch failed to capture a faint movement in the trees above and curious eyes the followed.

As Yuyu wandered she found many herbs she couldn't help but stop and pick up although she didn't necessarily need them. These woods were strange all type of flora grew here even tho they typically don't exists in the same area, even the types of wood from the trees changed. Some serious magic dabbling happened here to cause all of this.

The light suddenly brighten. An alert, it spotted something. Hardly thinking Yuyu gripped her wand letting her energy speed through it and glow beating to the rate of her heart. She looked around eyes darting

"What is it little light? What do you see?"

She whispered desperately wishing it could talk back but then the stopped its panicked glowing and lowered itself down. Yuyu stayed on guard her eyes taking up every inch of the forest but only silence and darkness greated her.

After a few moments she lowered her wand the glowing dying and her pulse slowing. Maybe it was a squirre-

A branch smacked her square on her nose, the pain was quick but the panic was quicker. In the initial shock she dropped her wand the the light glowed in panic again, her vision was blurry as she fumbled on the ground for her wand

"ABOVE YOU!"

Her voice obeyed and her head shot upwards just in time to see a large long slithering form barreling straight for her face quickly she scrambled away just as the creature made landfall rearing its head.

Oh god a basilisk.

She never thought she'd have to see one in person. The panicked light continued to flash illuminating the features of the creature. The creature hoisted itself up on its feathered legs, the large talons tearing into the dirt as its scalied tail whipped around angrily. But She dared not look at the face.

Those eyes could kill.

Just don't look in its eyes

"DUCK!"

No questioning. She ducked quickly her body acting on its own only for imminently feel a large guar of wind wash over her threatening to draw her into its current but she dug her fingers and feet into the ground as loud crashes filled her ears. The wind slowed and her curious eyes looked upwards to see a mass wreck.

The trees that stood mighty before all crumbled and snapped under the weight of the beast. It squirmed and withered in clear pain, its talons grasping for support on anything. The light besides it flickered before dying completely

"Get up we gotta go!"

The voice pulled her from the sight as a girl leapt out from the trees running and scopping up Yuyu's wand from the ground and some feathers from the beast before dashing to her side pulling her up

"It'll get up soon"

Usually she'd be opposed to following a stranger deeper into the woods but it doesn't seem like there is much of a choice here. Their hands claps together tightly

"Hold on"

The girl pulled her own wand, it was carved into a spiral with decorative crystals logged into the oak wood. She muttered a spell a smile on her face, their bodies got lighter and squeezing her hand softly the girl dashed the world zooming by in a blur barely registering what was going on. In a blink of an eye they were in a wooden cottaged.

A really cozy cottage, they seemed to be right in front of the main door and to the right was a living room and to the left was a dinning table with a kitchen behind it, it the center was a hallway and stairs that lead to the top floor. The cottage was painted blue with white lining the frame, the furniture to compliment house was a pale yellow with blue and/or white pillows or blankets. Most of them had some desgin on them.

The mysterious girl slowly let out of Yuyu's hand before sighing loudly in relief and laughing

"Wow! That was crazy! Did you see all of that?!? Hahah! Its a good thing you're okay! Gee I have no idea how that big guy got there"

Yuyu could only take in the girls features as she rambled on and on, her hair was long reaching all the way down to her knees it light blue and curved and curled at the ends, her eyes were wide and blue as well with a light in them a spark only a child could have.

Then the girl was in her face

"Where ya from? Your hair is really cute! Is that bag for your spellbook? What are you doing out here alone? Want something to drink?"

This was too close, she could feel the blush creep around her face. She was really cute

"Umm I uh yeah would like a drink. Anything is fine"

The bubbly girl beamed wider practically bouncing over to the kitchen and and fumbled in her cabinets before successfully pulling out a pot and setting it on the stove

"Care to answer my questions?

She ask as she set the flame and dashed to a curburt full baking ingredients and sweets. Yuyu considered the girl for a moment. She did save her life and seems to be making her some hot cocca in her small cottage. There is nothing to lose. Yuyu made her way to the small dining table and sat down.

"I um I'm from a small village by the riverside. The river has been cursed and a lot of us are dreadfully ill. I wanted to get herbs from here to treat them. It would have been faster if I am here and I was just really worried about them..." Yuyu spared a glance up and those eyes stared at her with wonder, Yu could feel the blush starting up again

"I-I mean we are a tight knit community! We all basically know each other and I- uh just wanted to h-help" the girl smiled and turned back to the stove and stirred the chocolate

"That's really brave of you! I can sense you have a lot of protection spells on you but the water has also made you ill hm?"

That wasn't a thing was proud of but she knew the girl was right, her magic was weak. The light spell usually cast 2 blue orbs that circle around the summoner and usually they don't flicker in the wind. Yuyu sighed and barely managed a nod

"You should take care of yourself you know, I get you're worried about your village but you won't do them any good dead" her voice was cheerful and light and Yuyu couldnt help but feel overwhelming trust

"Guess so"

"What herbs were you looking for?"

"oh it was looking for Clove, Clovers, and Chamomile"

The girl gasped and suddenly abononded the stove and ran down the hallway and disappeared past a unseen door way. Yuyu waited a moment before footsteps ran back and the girl appeared in her arms were 3 large bags, she plopped them down in front of Yuyu

"You are in luck! I found a whole field covered in this beauties!! There was defiantly a herboligst who worked here, maybe they divided the area by medicine and poison! The outskirts of the forest are covered in poisonous plants but the center is beautiful!"

The girl rambled again as Yuyu cautiously peeked into the bag and nearly squealed with delight, there was a lot!! So much! Enough to help her village. She couldn't hold her smile as she looked back to the girl who went on about the plants and the amazing craftsman ship of the forest.

There was a faint smell of burn "Umm ma'am?" The girl stopped

"Hm?"

"The hot chocolate"

She gasped and ran back to the stove turning it off as quickly as possible and pulling the pot away from the heat

"Its not too boiled I hope!"

She muttered a small spell and a small gust of wind breezed over the pot calming the stream of heat, she left it before grabbing some mugs and heading back. One mug had Jasmime's painted along it and the other had Lilly's

"Which would you like?"

"The lily"

She nodded and poured a even amount of hot chocolate in each up before making her way bbefore making her way back to the table and sitting.

Yuyu graciously grabbed the cup and drank, it was different but tasted good.

Then it dawned on her. There is no way this girl will let her get the herbs without a hefty price. Clearing her throat Yuyu got ready to bargain

"So how much?"

"Hm? Oh! I usually put about ⅓ a cup unsweetened cocoa powder and sometimes add a bi-"

"No no! I mean how much for the herbs?" The girl feel silent and blinked in confusion

"How much? You think I'm going to charge you?" Yuyu went silent now.

Would the girl charge her now? She could feel sweat forming in her head

"A charge...oh! I got it!" Yuyu tense as the girl stood her expression turning back to its happy state

"It will cost you 1 date!" Yuyu all but chocked on her coco her face burning bright

"Really? A date?!" The girl nodded hopefully.

Well this is too good to be true

"On one condition"

The girl tilted her head intrigued

"You tell me your name"

The girl beamed

"I'm Nejire! Nejire is my name!"

Yuyu smiled, this girl had to be the cutest thing in the universe.

The forest might be cursed but if it meant getting her a girlfriend she isn't complaining too much

#my hero academia #boku no hero academia #hado nejire #nejire hadou #yuyu haya #bnha wlw month #bnhawlwmonth2018

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ltleflrt · 6 years

Note

Because I regard you essentially as royalty in terms of Destiel fic, can you maybe give us a basic rundown on how to write a fic? Or a detailed one, if you want. Like, what is your process? How do you plan it out? How/when do you pick a title? Because I've tried before to write multi-chapter fics and I just end up giving up on it because I either took too long between updates because ya know life and forgot things or because I didn't plan enough and no longer know what I'm doing.

Hold on hold on hold on...

*walks away for a minute and muppet flails*

Okay, I’m back, and thank you for the sweet compliment! :D

So, my process; I have one! I didn’t used to think so, because it felt chaotic and without form, but as I’ve started helping other people with their writing I’ve started to see a pattern in how I come up with stories and make them happen.

Obviously the first step is the The Idea. I get them from all over the place. I’m a daydreamer, so sometimes they just pop up out of the blue, and in a lot of cases they’re inspired by some other media. A book, a fic, a movie, a song... I think that’s pretty common. I also have a tendency of looking at my favorite tropes (and I mean REALLY LOOKING, by consuming any and all of it I can find lol) and thinking to myself, “how can I flip that upside down?”.

Kiss the Baker was the result of reading all the Gay Panic Dean fics I could find and reading them until I started wondering if there would ever be a universe where Dean didn’t have a gay panic.

The idea for Satin and Sawdust came from the fact that I’ve written two fics tagged “Dean Thinks He’s Heterosexual” and it made me wonder why I never see any Gay Panic Castiel fics.

Anyway, ideas come from all over. And they’re fleeting, so I write them all down. I have a huge list. Whenever one of those AU lists comes around on my dash I copy my favorites into my list. It’s very long lol. Which is good, because sometimes I’ll come up with an idea like “I want to see Cas be the one who thinks he’s het this time” and get stuck. Like wtf do I do next?

Answer: I refer back to The List. Because sometimes I can pick out several of those ideas and smush them together. I took Carpenter!Dean, and Dean Loves Wearing Panties from the list, and scrolled down until I found Veterinarian AU, and I start trying to connect the dots.

Remember in writing classes in Jr High and High School we were taught to make those bubble charts? You write something in a bubble, and then branch off bubbles around it? I do that in my head. I start making things connect. I cross out things that won’t fit. I have a special file for whatever story idea I’m working on and it looks vaguely like an outline because it’s that list of ideas with notes for ideas, or snippets of conversation. If I chat about it with my friends (almost always @jupiterjames) I’ll copy/paste those conversations into that file. I’ll list songs... anything that gives me a feel for what’s starting to form. If I have any title ideas they’ll go in there too.

Speaking of titles, THEY’RE HARD. I hate them. Occasionally something will pop in my head before I even start working on the fic, and I swear that angels sing when that happens. But for the most part I have to brainstorm and brainstorm, and get advise from friends, and I google quotes about themes I think my story will encompass. It’s a struggle. My least favorite part of the writing process next to connecting large plot points lol. But I’ve gotta have a title before I post it, so I’ll have something by the time I’m done with the first chapter.

Just for funsies, here’s my notes file for Satin and Sawdust.

Anywho, that’s all the developing stuff. I don’t actually go into the notes file all that much afterwards. When I have big gaps between chapters I will, plus I’ll re-read everything I’ve written already. But I hold quite a bit of that junk in my head. If you’re having problems remembering, make the file! Visit it often!

Believe it or not, at this point, the story is still pretty nebulous. I’ll usually have several directions the story can take at different junctions, and I don’t think too hard about them until I get there. I think about my stories in more detail a chapter at a time. I focus on a single scene, or the small group of scenes that are related enough to put in a single chapter. I zero in on those details and forget about what’s going to come afterwards.

Breaking down the larger idea into smaller chunks is the only way I can work myself through a 100k+ beast without going mad. And honestly, I still drive myself a little crazy. I have to stop looking at the big picture, or I’ll give up just because the idea is too overwhelming.

Once I’ve got a chapter done, then I take a few days and I start considering the cloudy visions in my head and pluck out the scene I think needs to come next. It usually takes me 2-4 days of contemplation before I’m ready to sit down and make words happen again. Writing a 4k-8k chapter takes me 2-3 days. So between the contemplation break and the actual writing, I take about a week.

Life definitely gets in the way sometimes. When I was in the middle of Addicted To You, I had reconstructive surgery on my face. I was doped up on super strong pain meds and couldn’t wear my glasses for almost a month. So obviously I took some time off, and I was SO MISERABLE (seriously, don’t break your face, it’s the worst) that I couldn’t even think about the story, much less writing. When I felt well enough to get back to it I re-read what I had already twice, plus went over my notes file, plus I listened to all the dirty sex songs I could find to get my mind back into the groove for it. It felt like doing homework, but it was the only way I could remember wtf I was doing. I’m sure I lost some of my initial plans, but that’s normal with any story I work on. And it turned out okay lol

And last of all, find someone who’ll let you ramble at them about your stories. Someone who will genuinely pay attention, not just nod and smile. I did a lot of writing on my own, but a lot of my Dragon Age and Mass Effect fics wouldn’t exist without @hot-elf being my sounding board and cheerleader. And same goes for my Supernatural fics and @jupiterjames. I would probably have written just a tiny fraction of my stories if it weren’t for them. Chatting about my stories helps me develop my ideas, and keeps me motivated. When I’m stressed I’ll send a chapter to JJ with just a request to Validate Me! and she always knows how to talk me out of my angst. I will talk out my ideas with other people as well, but they’ve been the biggest influences on my writing, so THANKS LADIES I LOVE YOU!

Writing Buddies Are The Best.

Anyway, that’s about all I have to say about my process. I hope it answered all your questions and gave you some ideas on how to work on your own stuff. And if you ever have an idea you want to talk about, feel free to send me chat messages :D

#writing tips #writer's angst #castiel-lord-of-the-bees

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faeriexqueen · 7 years

Note

Hello, I hope I'm not late for asking on that prompt thing yulma + 28 ^^

You are never too late to request some Yuulma! :D

Title: PromisePairing: Yuulma (Alma Karma/Yuu Kanda)Chapters: 1Words: 2,818Summary: What Kanda said shouldn’t have bothered Alma. After all, it wasn’t like they spoke anymore to begin with. (Prompt for “We are not friends!”)AO3: http://archiveofourown.org/works/11842101FF: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/12620260/1/Promise

It shouldn’t have bothered Alma. But it did.

Alma couldn’t blame Kanda. Aftereverything that had happened – after trying to kill Kanda twice – Alma couldn’t blame Kanda for saying what he had said.Kanda more than likely hated Alma now. That much seemed obvious; why else would Kanda hardly spare a glance inAlma’s direction, and so purposefully avoid looking at him? Not that the two of them had much of a chance to interact. After the disastrous incident at the NorthAmerican Branch, Alma’s barely alive body (an abomination, really) had beenconfiscated. Alma didn’t remember thedetails of everything; his mind was fuzzy with hatred, and the influence of theMillennium Earl. He didn’t even know howhe was still alive – hadn’t he been intended to self-destruct? That was what the Noah had wanted…except thatother one. The one with white-hair. That boy who had a Noah inside him. Whathad happened to him?Alma didn’t know – no one had told him. No one cared to. It was unclear to Alma just how much time had passed since the whole incidentoccurred. Enough had passed that he’dbeen able to regenerate. It had beenpainful, not only in the physical sense, but in the psychological one as well.Why couldn’t they have just let Alma die?A part of Alma wished that the Order and the Noah would have let him and Kandajust kill each other off. Staying aliveonly caused suffering, and it was not even a life that either of them had. Kanda was still caught up in that person, and Alma was trapped by thenotion that he was forever a part of that person.Alma didn’t even know if he could be called his own person anymore. His mind. His feelings. Ownership of suchthings suddenly seemed impossible.Freedom, too. Once Alma had shown signsthat he was going to somehow recover, the scientists had kept him onlockdown. It was expected; Alma wasconsidered highly dangerous, and had been responsible for a massacre evenbefore he was infused with dark matter. But, that also made him somehow valuable tothe Black Order, and worth keeping. ‘As a weapon,’ Alma reminded himselfbitterly. ‘They always meant to keep us as weapons.’The Black Order really was no different than the Noah, it seemed.Eventually, Alma had been repaired enough physically so that he didn’t need tobe practically quarantined. He stillalways had someone supervising him – Alma didn’t know if he’d ever get a momentalone ever again. But, he was at leastable to be exposed to other members of the Black Order after being transferredto European Headquarters. Although it was debatable on whether or not that was a good thing. Many of Alma’sakuma characteristics were still evident: the pointed ears, the coloredmarkings, the tail. Alma was just as freakish as he always was,except this time it was visible to the naked eye. He had always been a freak. Being called an apostle of God had beennothing more than a nice way of saying such.Most members of the Order seemed to avoid Alma. They maybe chanced a glance in his direction at best, but then wouldlook away quickly before whispering to one another. It angered Alma, but he had to do his best topretend he couldn’t hear. Any signs ofloss control would mean instant isolation, if the threat wasn’t great enough towarrant a death it seemed.Being able to go out was how Alma periodically saw Kanda though. The interactions were hardly non-existentthough. Kanda often ignored Alma,pretending the second exorcist-turned-akuma didn’t exist. And Alma would do the same. On more than one occasion, Alma had noticed people looking at the two of themnervously, as though they had no idea what to expect. Usually, Alma felt the same. He never knew what to expect with Kanda. But Kanda probably hated him.Alma tried to tell himself he wasn’t upset by this.But, then came the day where Kanda said something. It wasn’t to Alma – how could it have been,when Kanda never even looked his way? No, it had been to some Chinese girl – Lenalee, and exorcist and theyounger sister of Chief Komui Lee. Sheand Kanda had been in the dining hall, when Alma and his supervisor had arrivedthere to get dinner. Kanda and Lenaleehad already been seated, though Lenalee had spotted Alma before turning toKanda. She had kept her voice soft in alikely attempt to make sure Alma couldn’t hear her speak, but Alma’s acutehearing picked up on the words regardless.“Hey, Kanda? Do you think…you’ll evertalk to Alma again?”Kanda hadn’t bothered to glance up from his soba. When he didn’t answer, Lenalee triedagain. Her tone was wary. “I mean…you guys are-“ She caught herselfquickly, “-were friends, right?”This caught Kanda’s attention. He lookedup at Lenalee sharply. “We are not friends.” The words came out abruptly, and sounded harsh. Lenalee seemed a little taken aback, actually. Alma didn’t risk looking at them any longerthough, and focused his attention elsewhere. He felt a pair of eyes on him though, and Alma wondered if they belongedto Lenalee or Kanda. More than likely,it was just Lenalee. Kanda wouldn’tbother.It shouldn’t have bothered Alma to hear all this. It should have bothered Alma. Except it did. Alma and Kanda were not friends, and neverreally had been. And that upset him.Alma left the dining hall quickly.

~~~Night fell, and Alma was surrounded by silence. He had his own room, though the interior of it was minimal indecoration. Apparently, Alma was stillconsidered hazardous enough so that the Order didn’t even want to give him toomany unnecessary objects as though he’d use them as weapons somehow. It was a bit ridiculous to Alma, really – buthe hardly had time to notice such a detail when he had to deal with the factthat there was always a guard outside of his door. God, it was frustrating. Alma was basicallya prisoner, all while being trained to be useful to the Order in the HolyWar. ‘Justlike before. Just like I always was,’ Alma thought, as his eyes stared up at the ceiling. Dark. Stone. Alma had always dreamed of seeing the sky,but now he was just stuck with this. Stuck with this ceiling. Stuck in this prison. Stuck in the same hellhole as Kanda – someonewho Alma had once thought he could befriends with-‘Except we’re not. We’re not friends, and we never really were,’ Alma tried to tell himself, as he desperately attempted to ignore the ache inhis chest. The ache he felt every timehe thought about Kanda.Suddenly, there were footsteps outside of Alma’s room. Ears perking at the noise, Alma turned hisgaze toward the door. That was peculiar– no one ever came down through the hallway Alma was in. He was somewhat cut off from the otherexorcists, and nowhere near the finders. The only time Alma ever heardfootsteps was if the guards were trading spots to watch his door, but technicallyit wasn’t time for a shift change. Almahad experienced enough sleepless nights to have memorized the timing by thispoint.Alma listened, and held his breath. Heheard no words, which was even stranger. Who was outside right now? Theirsteps were light, and almost inaudible – which said a lot, since Alma hadhighly sensitive hearing due to his akumatized form. The door clicked, and Alma realized whoever was outside was coming in. Immediately growing tense, he tried to decideon whether it would be wise to pretend to be asleep or not. As soon as the door opened, Almainstinctively shut his eyes as he feigned being asleep, as a childlike feargripped his heart.‘Just go away. Whoever you are, please just go away,’ Alma silently pleaded. He had no ideawho was in his room or why, but he did not want to deal with them.Whoever it was that had come in did not speak. They continued to walk softly, and Alma could soon feel their presenceas they stood right next to his bed. Alma forced himself to try to relax, wishing that people would leave himalone.The stranger sat down – on the edge of the bed. A familiar voice spoke. “Stopdoing that fake sleep shit. I knowyou’re awake.”Alma’s eyes shot open, and he turned his head. He sat up with a startled expression as he registered just who it was inhis room. Kanda. Kanda was in his room. He wassitting on the edge of the bed, arms crossed his face looking away fromAlma. Alma was confused, and in his bewilderment slightly irritable “What the hell are you doing in here?” Heasked, not sure what was even going on. “And how’d you know I was awake?”Kanda snorted quietly. “You alwayspulled that act when we were back in the lab. Sometimes when you wanted to get out of the experiments,” Kandacommented. His voice was quiet, but helda bitter edge. “Edgar almost fell for ita few times. Moron.”Alma frowned. He didn’t like rememberingbeing in the lab, and he especially didn’t like remembering being forced toattempt synchronization. Turning his gaze away from Kanda, Alma returned to his initial question. “Why are you here? I didn’t think I wasallowed visitors.”There was a venom in Alma’s tone, but he couldn’t help it. His life was dictated by the Order – he hadno say in anything. Neither did Kanda.Kanda’s mouth grew into a hard line. “Noone knows I’m here.”This caught Alma by surprise. Almalooked back at Kanda, his brow furrowed slightly. “What about the guard out-““That guy? Idiot dozed off fifteenminutes ago. He really should getfired.”Now Alma looked surprised. “What, wereyou waiting? Why?”Kanda sighed in an exasperated tone. “Why do you think?” He asked in annoyance. “I was trying to fucking get in here.“But why?” Alma interjected, his toneslightly heated. He had to remindhimself to keep his voice down, or else he might wake the guard outside. “It’s not like you’ve been reallyacknowledging my existence or anything.“Kanda remained quiet for a moment after that, and Alma wondered if maybe Kandawould just leave. The silence that fellbetween them was horrendously heavy, and breathing felt difficult.Finally, Kanda spoke. His tone wasnoticeably softer than before. “I’mleaving headquarters.”Alma barely registered the words. Aftera few seconds, they began to sink in. Alma’s expression must have given his realization away, because Kandatook one glance at Alma before quickly continuing.“Not permanently,” Kanda added. “Ijust…have to go find someone. Track themdown before I can come back here.”Alma felt his blood turn cold. He turnedaway from Kanda sharply, trying to ignore the pang of ugly jealousy hefelt. That person. Kanda was still obsessed and in love with that person. “Are you going to look for her?” Alma asked, his voice an icywhisper.God. That person. That person that was now Alma. Or at least, who Alma was made from. And Kanda was going to keep searching forher.Surprisingly, Kanda shook his head. “No. I’m not looking for heranymore,” He answered quietly. “This isjust some idiot I need to find…”Against his better judgment, Alma’s eyes moved back to Kanda. Kanda was looking away again, but Alma couldsee his profile. His hair was tied backin a ponytail, but his bangs seemed a bit longer and unkempt. His expression was distant.Alma’s frown lessened in severity, but still remained. His eyes flickered away again. “So why are you telling me? I thought we weren’t friends.”Kanda closed his eyes, and exhaled through his nose. He sounded frustrated. “You’re as stupid as ever,” He muttered,though Alma still heard perfectly well.Alma looked at Kanda sharply. “Excuseme?”Kanda turned, facing Alma directly. Itwas the first time he had done so in forever it seemed, and Alma wasmomentarily breathless from the unexpected directness of this interaction. Kanda, however,appeared unfazed.“You’re as stupid as ever,” Kanda repeated. His expression was oddly devoid of harshness as he said thisthough. “You’re as stupid as ever,because we are friends. And I’m telling you why I’m leaving so youknow I’m not leaving for good.”Alma was stunned. Stunned andsilent. ‘What…?’He wanted to ask, but the words seemed to stick in histhroat. They wouldn’t come out. ‘Ithought you hated me…’When Alma didn’t speak, Kanda took the opportunity to continue. His words sounded stiff, and his posture wasrigid. Alma suddenly realized that thiswas because Kanda was uncomfortable. Kanda usually didn’t speak this much.“I’m…I’m going to come back here. I’llcome back for you,” Kanda continued, voice soft and slightly gruff. “The Order can’t know though. They can’t know we’re…”His voice trailed off, but Alma understood. An onslaught of emotion immediately enveloped Alma, and he felt hisinsides tremble. He didn’t want Kanda togo. Even if it were temporary…Almadidn’t want to risk losing Kanda. Notagain.Without thinking, Alma grabbed Kanda’s wrist. He clutched at it tightly, his eyes downcast. “Yuu…I don’t want you to leave…” Almapleaded, his voice barely audible. “Whatif you don’t come back…?”The stiffness in Kanda’s expression broke, if only for a brief second. His eyes appeared to glimmer in the darkenedroom, though Alma couldn’t tell if that were because Kanda’s eyes were wateryor if it was just the way they happened to look. Or maybe it was because Alma’s eyes were watery that Kanda’s eyes looked such a way.Kanda took hold of Alma’s hand, gently rubbing his fingers over it. “I’ll come back for you, Alma,” Kandawhispered, as he brought Alma’s hand to his mouth, holding it close. Alma barely felt Kanda’s lips against theback of his hand, and his heart sped slightly as he felt Kanda pull him close,whispering gently into Alma’s ear. “Iwon’t let them keep you here. Ipromise.”Alma clung to Kanda tightly after hearing those words. He clung to Kanda until he fell back asleep.~~~When Alma woke up the next morning, it was cold. His room was still dark, and he realized thatthe sun probably hadn’t risen yet. Forsome reason, he felt sad – incredibly so. Within a few moments, Alma began to recall the events of the previousnight.Kanda. Kanda had come to his room. Kanda had told Alma he was leaving.Kanda had promised Alma that he would come back.Alma now remembered that he had fallen asleep while Kanda while still withhim. Like some weak child who neededprotection, Alma had fallen asleep in Kanda’s arms, clinging closely to him asthough Kanda would faded away into nothingness if Alma were to let go. Yet somehow, Kanda had still slipped out ofAlma’s grasp, all while Alma was in a slumber.Alma’s heart ached. He wished he couldhave said goodbye to Kanda one last time. He wished Kanda would have woken him before he left.But, Alma had woken up tucked under sheets that he had not bothered to coverhimself with. No doubt it had beenKanda’s doing. ‘Yuu…’ Alma thought, as he tried tosquash the painful yearning he could feel himself beginning to become consumedby. He wondered if Kanda had possiblynot left yet. Maybe Kanda would still bearound when Alma went to the dining hall for breakfast, or perhaps Alma wouldcatch a glimpse of him in the training room. Kanda had not specified when he was leaving.These thoughts gave Alma hope.But, when Alma when to the dining hall that morning there was no sign ofKanda. Lenalee was sitting with anothergroup of exorcists, and there was no sign of Kanda in the training room withMugen. Eventually, Alma accepted thatKanda had left. Kanda was gone.“I’ll come back for you, Alma.”Kanda had promised though. He hadpromised Alma he would come back.Later that day, it became more apparent to other people that the sword-wieldingexorcist had ventured off. The officialwho was currently supervising Alma had taken note of it, and found it forwhatever reason necessary to comment on“So, your friend took off, huh?” The official prodded, though his words werecold and did not warrant a friendly conversation.In response, Alma threw the man a cool glance before turning away. “We’re not friends,” Alma answered quietly.‘I’ll wait for you. Forever.’

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