#at some point ill get around to a post about why you should give a fuck about not getting covid in the first place

[i-amusemyself]

Masterpost on Mask Efficacy Reseach in Covid-19

Sick of hearing that masks don’t work? Me too :)))) here’s some research studies showing that they do for next time Karen starts Karening.

(Correct as of August 2022)

A general respiratory viruses review (there are many more but that’s a post for another day):

A review of studies showing mask wearing prevents respiratory virus transmission including SARS, influenza, bird flu and Covid-19.

Wang et al., 2021 doi: 10.1002/mds3.10163

Animal models and masks with Covid-19

This study placed hamsters in separate cages and measured transmission of Covid-19 from an infected hamster to a healthy one. Surgical masks were shown to decrease infection rates.

Chan et al., 2020 doi: 10.1093/cid/ciaa644

Mathematical models/simulations and masks with Covid-19

Mathematical modeling demonstrates mask ability to reduce transmission and mortality. It shows even masks of low efficacy can do this transmission rate is low or decreasing.

Eikenberry et al., 2020 doi: 10.1016/j.idm.2020.04.001

Mathematical modelling shows that higher quality face masks can protect the wearer from Covid-19, but two-way masking is better than one-way masking.

Bagheri et al., 2021 doi: 10.1073/pnas.2110117118

Researchers made a cough aerosol simulator to test how well different masks blocked the aerosol. N95 masks blocked 99%, surgical masks blocked 59%, cloth masks blocked 51% and face shields blocked only 2%.

Lindsly et al., 2021 doi: 10.1080/02786826.2020.1862409

Medical grade respirator masks are able to filter particles the size of Covid-19, while poorer quality masks are still able to filter larger aerosol particles which likely contain the virus.

Robinson et al., 2022 doi: 10.1080/02786826.2022.2042467

A model based on close-contact behaviour on the Subway showed that virus exposure could be reduced by 82% if all passengers wore surgical masks.

Liu et al, 2022 doi: 10.1016/j.jhazmat.2022.129233

Community settings and masks with Covid-19

A study looking back at 124 households in Beijing found that when one family member had Covid-19, risk of secondary infections within the household decreased by 79% if the infected member started masking before symptoms.

Wang et al., 2020 doi: 10.1136/bmjgh-2020-00279

In Hong Kong, in the period studied, masking compliance was 96.6% and Covid-19 incidence was significantly lower per million people than in countries with less mask compliance.

Cheng et al., 2020 doi: 10.1016/j.jinf.2020.04.024

A study of 211 Covid-19 cases and 839 controls in Thailand showed that consistent mask wearing was independently associated with reduced risk of Covid-19 infection.

Doung-ngern et al., 2020 doi: 10.3201/eid2611.203003

Introduction of mask mandates in states across the US was associated with a decline in Covid-19 infection growth rates.

Lyu and Wehby doi: 10.1377/hlthaff.2020.00818

A randomised trial in nearly 350,000 people in Bangladesh found that mask wearing significantly reduced symptomatic Covid-19 infections.

Abaluck et al., 2021

In US counties with masking mandates, daily case incidence declined by 35% in 6 weeks compared to matched counties without masking mandates.

Huang et al., 2022 doi: 10.1377/hlthaff.2021.01072

An outbreak of Covid-19 on the USS Theodore Roosevelt, which carried 382 men, showed that those that wore face coverings were 70% less likely to become infected.

Payne et al., 2020 doi: 10.15585/mmwr.mm6923e4    

A study of mask wearing in 20 million people, alongside Covid-19 infection data from 92 regions showed that mask wearing corresponds to a 19% reduction in Covid-19 reproductive number, R.

Leech et al., 2022 doi: 10.1073/pnas.2119266119

Young children wearing masks was associated with a 13% reduction in risk of childcare program closure due to Covid-19, meaning more in-person education.

Murray et al., 2022 doi: 10.1001/jamanetworkopen.2021.41227

Healthcare settings and masks with Covid-19

A hospital in Massachusetts managed to decrease rates of Covid-19 infection amongst 10,000 staff with universal masking, despite increasing rates of infection in the community.

Wang et al., 2020 doi: 10.1001/jama.2020.12897

A North Carolina health provider showed that epidemiological curve of healthcare-aquired Covid-19 infections was flattened in healthcare workers following a universal masking policy. This was despite increasing community incidence.

Seidelman et al., 2020 doi: 0.1017/ice.2020.313

A study of 29 general hospitals in Israel found that hospital-acquired Covid-19 infections among healthcare workers only started to decline following a universal masking mandate for all staff, patients and visitors.

Temkin et al., 2021 doi: 10.1017/ice.2021.207.Epub

A systematic review of 13 studies in healthcare and the community found that probability of Covid-19 infection for mask wearers was 7%, compared with 52% for non-mask wearers.

Alihsan et al., 2022 doi: 10.1101/2022.07.28.22278153

Properly fitted N95 masks alongside high quality air filtration can protect from Covid-19 infection for long periods, even with high viral loads at close range.

Landry et al., 2022 doi: 10.1093/infdis/jiac195

This study shows masks were able to block the exhalation of virus particles by individuals infected by Covid-19 in Brazil.

Mello et al., 2022 doi: 10.1371/journal.pone.0264389

“But masks can harbour bacteria and fungi and give you pneumonia”

This is most likely referring to the study by Park et al., 2022 doi: 10.1038/s41598-022-15409-x 

However, if they actually read the paper they would find that:

Most fungi found were on the outside of the mask. Most fungi were opportunistic pathogens (only a danger to immunocompromised), rather than pathogenic.

Most bacteria were non-pathogenic in humans. Of the bacteria that were potentially pathogenic, most were commensal (normally found within the body) or opportunistic (don’t cause harm unless immunocompromised).

The article does not recommend against mask use, only repeated use of the same mask in immunocompromised individuals.

The paper points out that masks reduce transmission of Covid-19.

The paper points out that pathogenic bacteria and fungi are detectable on many materials we use in daily life.

And if you’re really worried about what’s on your mask:

Masks can be sterilized with steam or hot water without compromising their efficacy.

Rahman et al., 2022 doi: 10.3390/polym14071296

“But studies show that masks don’t work”

The most commonly cited evidence of this is a Danish study on the effectiveness of adding a mask mandate.

Bundgaard et al., 2021 doi: 10.7326/M20-6817

This study found that there was no significant difference in infection rates in 4000 Danes, between those recommended masks and those not recommended masks.

However, the study has many limitations which may explain why results differ from the majority of mask studies:

Infection rates reported in the study were not comparable with rates reported in the Danish population at the time.

Fewer people were infected in the masked group, but not to a level of statistical significance. The authors state that results are inconclusive, as opposed to concluding that masks provide no protection.

Only surgical masks were given to participants, which have a limited ability to protect the wearer from airborne viruses vs aerosolised viruses due to their loose fit.

The study only assessed how effectively the masks protected the wearer, not how well it reduced transmission to others.

In the group where masks were recommended, only 46% reported wearing their masks completely as recommended. I.e. more than half of this group did not always wear a mask.

The authors themselves state that the findings should not be used to conclude that mask recommendations in the community would not be effective in controlling Covid-19 spread.

“But masks make it hard to communicate!”

Data is mixed on expression recognition, but some studies show masks have no detrimental effect. Also, context and additional non-verbal cues are often not considered in studies.

A study of children aged 7-13 found that face masks did not impair ability to infer emotions.

Ruba and Pollack, 2020 doi: 10.1371/journal.pone.0243708

Also, clear face masks are available, including clear surgical masks and clear respirators.

“But masks reduce oxygenation”

Wearing a face mask does not cause low O2 nor high CO2 at rest or during activity.

Shein et al., 2021 doi: 10.1371/journal.pone.0247414

Gas exchange is not significantly affected by the use of surgical mask, even in subjects with severe lung impairment.

Samannan et al., 2020 doi: 10.1513/AnnalsATS.202007-812RL                                

THAT graph that anti-maskers love to show

“Fig. 3. Correlation between Infection Rate and Annual Mask Usage generated from discarded face masks. (USA: United States of America; UK: United Kingdom)”

This graph actually comes from a paper on microplastics from face mask disposal, as opposed to anything epidemiological.

Shukla et al., 2022 doi: 10.1016/j.chemosphere.2022.134805

This graph does not accurately show the Annual Mask Usage (AMU) of each country to an accuracy that could ever be used in a paper with an epidemiological focus.

The authors did not account for variable mask usage in different countries and they use no real world data used on this. Instead, variation in Annual Mask Usage (AMU) is estimated by considering the population of each country in rural vs urban areas, and the presumed acceptance of masks in each area, which is constant for each country (10% in rural areas vs 80% in urban). Basically, this graph shows no accurate data on mask wearing in each country.

The authors also state that there is a correlation between AMU and infection rate. However, the country with the greatest population in the world, China, counters this trend. Equally, the data for India and Brazil, which also have a large proportion of the global population, also contradict this conclusion. This would explain why the authors never attempted to provide statistical tests to prove the correlation that they have supposedly found.

I think that about sums it up, but feel free to add more!

#at some point ill get around to a post about why you should give a fuck about not getting covid in the first place #but not rn lol #masks #mask wearing #wear a mask #masks stop covid #mask research #anti maskers #mask hesitant #antimask #antimaskers #mask masterpost #masterpost #research masterpost #information masterpost #public health #pandemic #covid-19 #coronavirus #sarscov2 #sars-cov-2 #covid pandemic #global health #long covid #psa #covid19 #covid #surgical mask #ffp2 #ffp3

[whileyoureinschoolidothisallday]

OKAY it has been a day of being sad and panicky. Time to move.

Yesterday, I made a post detailing the cdc announcement that there will no longer be an isolation requirement for covid. If you are one of the thousands of people rightfully raging in my notes, here's some steps to focus on.

We're not gonna give up. I've seen quite a few comments with things like 'what's the point', 'why should I even try anymore' etc etc and what we're not gonna do is give them what they want! It helps the eugenics cause to be apathetic and listless. We've made it this far, we will continue to make it. I know it's hard, but I am at least right here with you. Give yourself whatever time you need to grieve, and then I need you to get up.

If you have stopped masking for any reason, or you haven't upgraded to a respirator style mask, now is the time to change or start. From now on, we will be living in a country where you could assume there are multiple covid positive people in the room with you at all times. Surgical masks will not handle that load, and cloth masks will be even less effective at that point. Obviously, this is an unprecedented situation we're putting these masks in, and I'm not gonna sit here and pretend to be an expert that can tell you with certainty that even respirators will hold up with this amount of viral load for a long period of time, but it's the best and strongest tool we have. I'm considering using my p100 more, so that's always something to consider as well (and they make you look like a cool raver when you wear them!!!). You can buy all sorts of masks here, there's more links in the comments of my original post, and most states have their own mask blocs. To find them, go to Instagram and type "[your state] mask bloc". Here is a google doc of verified advocacy groups and mask blocs all across the country here is a diy fit test kit you can buy for $30 (unfortunately they are sold out right now. shocker.) PLEASE remember to take a layered response in these times. Masks are not the only tool in our arsenal. PLEASE for the love of God keep up with your vaccinations. Make a corsi-rosenthal box or buy a high quality air purifier if you can afford it--at the very least our homes can be safe havens (you can even put a hepa filter on your furnace!!!! And in your car too!!!!!). Use CPC Mouthwash, nasal irrigation, and nasal sprays like this one. Make it a routine: you come home, you shower, you brush your teeth, you rinse your nose, you change your clothes. And, like I said in another one of my posts, DO NOT TAKE OFF THE MASK.

3. If you would like an outlet for your rage and you're into calling your reps, feel free to calmly but firmly let the cdc have it at these numbers!!!!!

[alt text: a tweet by user silly_paulie that reads:

"Disdain for the CDC unites us all. Call today and demand isolation policies be returned to 10 days, and reducing it further to 1 day would be criminally dangerous. Call both:

404-639-7000 (press 8)

800-232-4636"

end text.]

4. If you need more outlets for your rage, I STRONGLY encourage you to get involved with your local union. Moreso than calling the CDC, tbh. I've seen multiple comments telling people just to lie about your symptoms to get more sick time off, but since there's no legal precedent to allow employees sick time for covid, all that's gonna do is get people fired. I truly believe in my lefty heart that the ONLY way we're getting anything close to mitigation is through labor rights. Even the standard for the fucking flu is 3 days, and that's nowhere near as contagious or disabling as covid. I say this as a high risk person with a neuromuscular disability: covid is an intersectional issue, but where we have the most leverage to get what we need is through labor rights.

It is NOT safe for workers to be working while ill with a Level 3 Biohazard (same as TB and the FUCKING PLAGUE. Seriously we have more regulations around fucking lice)

It is NOT safe to willfully EXPOSE your employees to a Level 3 Biohazard

It is NECESSARY for all employees to be allowed up to 10 days to recover fully from Covid-19, in order to avoid possible further injury from or hospitalization

You will NOT die or be disabled for the sake of the wealthy!!!!!

(and while you're at it, ask for better air filtration too!!!! At least 5 air changes an hour, MERV-13 air filters!! Then we won't have to constantly worry about virus bs and policy changes in the first place!!!!)

5. Closing statements. Nothing has changed with covid, this is just policy. Covid still isn't magic, she still has to get in you before she can do damage--mask up, arm your home with clean air, and don't let her. It's always worse toward the end. This is not the time to give up, it's time to dig in your heels and get to work. There are so many good things happening with covid. They are finding encouraging treatments for long covid. Finally, after years of nothing, a new prophylactic for the high risk was submitted for emergency use to the FDA, and it looks like this time it's built to last against new mutations. Covid is here to stay for the rest of our lives, but the real science hasn't given up on taking the worst of its teeth out. We WILL get to the point where the extreme fear of catching covid is nothing but a bad memory for EVERYONE. All I need you to do is commit to the belief that you're gonna survive long enough to be in that moment with the rest of us.

Now stay safe, and give em hell!!!!!

#covid 19 #covid safe #covid advocacy #covid is not over #mask up #danger days: truffula flu simulator #truffula flu survival guide

[pap3rcherry]

Can we have some yandere Edward x Reader please???

୨୧ SERIOUSLY !? ✮⋆˙

YANDERE EDWARD X READER

A/N: alright, gonna give yall freedom now and ill be more flexible when writing for yanderes, but please none of the things i mentioned in the last yandere limits post. (this one) (tw warning)

Type: Headcanons, romantic, fluff

TW: Bullying mentions, yandere topics, basically Edward forces friendship with you near the end? ig thats how we call it? obsession, delusion, he has toxic jealousy.

୨୧ Edward would be a very chaotic yandere, to the point of simply jumping on you or picking you up randomnly, mostly making you get scared and/or screech almost everytime he does that, it really pisses you off, but he doesnt mind.

୨୧ Edward would be a very two faced yandere too, while hes treating you like royalty when you are with him, hes being his normal asshole behavior with others, throwing paper balls at them and etc, typical Edward behavior.

୨୧ I think you two would get acquainted only in two ways: either with you just being as chaotic and eletric as Edward or it was love at first sight, either way, he is really going to be obsessed with you.

୨୧ Edward is possessive, delusional, chaotic, clingy and obsessive, to an very unhealthy extent, like, if someone else mention you in a casual conversation with him, he would not stop talking about you and how perfect you are, how your smile is just- glamorous and stupidly perfect!

୨୧ He would not let the trio bully you, if they dare to make fun of you or tease a little bit, this boy would get into a fight with them for you, his love for you can easily make him act in a way really unexpected from him.

୨୧ God have mercy on the soul that has a crush on you or a crush that you have that is showing signs of reciprocal love for you, because if he finds out, they are fucked, Edward would straight up bully them, and its going to be alot, He'll say lines like, "Do you really think you're good enough for them? or even worthy of their love? you actually think they'll ever love you? be for real."

୨୧ Edward would be similar to Miss Bloomie is some areas, like clinging to you almost all the time or following you like a lost puppy, you'll have to genuinely have to ask him to stop or else he will follow you to the bathroom too.

୨୧ If you actually try to leave him, he would be asking alot of questions and demanding full explanations and wouldnt leave you alone until you give him an explanation of why your doing this, he thought you liked him!

୨୧ i think Edward would be straight off be keeping you with him, he would basically just ignore that you were trying to leave him and act like nothing happened, that you were just being a silly willy.

୨୧ He's lowkey obsessed and lovesick for you, he would be the type to do dumb things or try to do incredible things to impress you or have your attention, he would be a very silly goof yandere.

୨୧ But dont get fooled, this boy would go out of his way to hurt mentally or physically if someone tries to take you away from him, he wont let that happen, not on his watch.

୨୧ His jealousy is very toxic, he would be glaring daggers into the person and straight up talk shit about them to you, he would either act delusional if you question his speeches and actions towards the person or get mad that your "defending" them.

୨୧ He cant stand whenever you interact so intimately with another person, like hugging them or just playing around with them, it should be him not them, they dont deserve it, they dont deserve you.

୨୧ "Cmon babe, you didnt really mean to leave me! i just know that!"

#fundamental paper education x reader #fundamental paper education #fpe #fpe fanfiction #fluff #fpe x reader #fpe yandere #fundamental paper education edward #Yandere Edward #୨୧ cherry works

[moorishflower]

Apropos of the Addams family post from a few weeks back: Hob meeting Gomez and them immediately vibing. Freak4freak friendship. Taking one look at the horrific sublime and wanting to kiss it with tongue

GOD yes like I have trouble imagining writing Hob meeting Gomez Addams actually because the IPs are so different but if he ever did it would be IMMEDIATE recognition. Same hat vibes. Have you beheld my big beautiful spouse? Behold them and despair (the despair is lovely this time of year)

Like can you imagine Hob attending ANY function in the Dreaming, either as the Dreamlord's husband or his consort? Normal McNormalman wandering around amongst gods and fey and nightmares and angels and being so painfully ordinary and HUMAN that he loops back around to being just. The cryptid in the room. Everyone whispering to each other, "Does anyone know that guy? Who is that? Did he sneak in?"

Hob just happily chatting away eating canapes and mingling and discussing footie with satyrs and shit, and finally some asshole god or demigod strolls on up to him and clears their throat, and demands to know "Who are you? Why are you here? You're just some human."

And Hob blinks his big beautiful brown cow eyes and he says "Oh! I'm here with my husband! Here he is now!" And just simp mode activates IMMEDIATELY. Dream standing there in full nightmare regalia glowering daggers at whoever has dared to impugn the honor of HIS husband, visibly bleeding shadows while the unfortunate guest contemplates how swiftly their mortality is about to be ripped from their still-conscious body, and Hob tucks his arm through Dream's, "How's your night been so far, baby? Good party, the brownies seemed very interested in the latest scores for Manchester, think they might be close to setting up a league of their own, dunno who they'd play against though. Christ, you look fantastic tonight. Doesn't he look fantastic? We should definitely dance later, imagine how you'd look on the floor with all these shadows around you. Phwoar. Are you thirsty, darling?"

"Wine will suffice."

"Sure, love, be right back. Nice talking with you, mate!" And off he trots to the refreshments table, and meanwhile Dream has expanded to roughly 1.5 times his normal height and living darkness wreathes him in an aura of cold sweat and midnight shivers, and he has to lean down almost at the waist to address whoever this unfortunate SOB is. Blinking slow and deliberate, like a lizard eyeing a mouse.

"You are lucky. My husband is in a charitable mood. If you ever speak ill of him again. It will not be his mercy you must seek."

And Hob comes back with two glasses of wine right as Dream is straightening up, and the unfortunate god or demigod looks like they're about to simultaneously weep and piss themselves, and he gives Dream his drink and then in a smooth and seamless motion gets his arm around Dream's waist and dips the 8ft tall nightmare man. Logically, and based on their respective heights, it should not be that easy, but Dream is visibly enjoying it.

"My sweet," Hob is murmuring into Dream's clavicle, "my darling, my Dream. Have I told you how beautiful you are tonight?"

"Yes. But tell me again."

And at this point Hob's would-be detractor takes the opportunity to flee, just as Hob is planting a line of smacking kisses up the Dreamlord's neck. "Beautiful," he's saying, "ravishing, stunning, awe-inspiring."

And after that there's a sort of flyer or pamphlet that gets circulated through a bunch of supernatural circles, with Hob Gadling's name and description and picture, THIS IS THE PRINCE-CONSORT OF THE NIGHTMARE KING, HE IS ALLOWED AND ENCOURAGED TO BE HERE.

#ask response #the sandman #dreamling

[fatuismooches]

Hi! Hope you’re having a wonderful day today cuz it is STORMING where I’m at and it got me thinking about more fluffy moments with fragile reader and dottore. Like what is dinner like with him or his segments?

I remember a long time ago I read this Reddit post about how a crow broke her beak in an accident 8 years ago and her mate patiently fed her since.

And it got me thinking about fragile reader not being able to eat much due to their illness and so dottore has to aid them by assisting them with their meals.

“I’m sorry”

“What for dearest?”

“For making you have to feed me…I can’t help but feel bad since you have other duties to attend to”

“Well, you cooked for me plenty of times back at the academia. Did you not have other studies to attend to as well?”

“Yeah…”

“Did you want me to feel bad then?”

“Of course not”

“Then why should this be any different? You and I assist each other in our own way, and once you get back on your feet…it will feel no different”

YESSSS..... oh my the fluff is adorable! <3 You do need help with meals, for whatever reason it may be - shaky hands, trouble swallowing, struggling to find motivation, etc - but that is why Dottore and the segments are with you, especially on the bad days. Though you always feel bad that they have to waste their valuable time with you, helping you do something that should be easy but it's not, they always make sure to reassure you that it's no problem. Even on days when you struggle to even take a few bites. When it tastes like nothing.

Maybe you'll get a flick to the forehead too, just to get it into that brain of yours, about how he'll stay to the very end. Just like how you did the same for him in the Akademiya! He'd always bring up examples of helpful things you did back then (the extent of his memory makes you a bit warm) despite your own business. Not just cooking, but fulfilling his own requests and helping around the dorm/his research. You didn't have to do all that for him, and when his younger self questioned you about it, what was your response? Because you wanted to, you'd say with a smile. So, it is no different for him now, it is because he wants to (with the addition of his love for you, but that doesn't need to be said out loud.) So don't worry about the frivolous things and focus on eating.

I imagine even though the segments don't need to eat, reader still tries to feed them some of their food, to get the whole homely dinner part of it - you don't take no for an answer so they do give in eventually. (They definitely prefer the dessert part of dinner.) Dottore on the other hand, would prefer to focus entirely on you rather than fulfill his dietary needs, which you don't like of course - one, because obviously you don't want him skipping meals, and two, it'd be a nice feeling, an old married couple eating dinner together. And so, though he really doesn't understand your point, if it'll help you eat some more, he'll do it. It brings back memories from centuries ago, the two of you snacking on something cheap for dinner because you were too lazy to cook for once, but it was still quite delicious since it was shared between the two of you.

#smooches talks #fragile reader <3 #dottore love notes <3 #it hasnt rained in a few days where im at #its mostly been sunny! sunny but cold ... #really my hands are FREEZING #regardless i would love to have dinner with dottore and the segments... grrrr UGHHH ITS SO CUTE <3333 #I REALLY LOVED THIS ASK... i luv how he responded to reader and reassured them by using their own logic

[deripmaver]

Casca and Griffith: Before and After The Eclipse

Back by unpopular demand: ME!!!!

My main MO in Berserk fandom is Sad Casca Hours, where I make posts that literally just exist to make you feel sad about Casca, because I feel sad about Casca and why should I be the only one who has to suffer?

To me, one of the absolute most heartbreaking aspects of Berserk is Casca and her (platonic) relationship with Griffith. It is genuinely impossible for me to look at the way she talks about him, thinks about him, and interacts with him in the Golden Age without feeling a lump in my throat. I think this particular relationship is overlooked - and honestly, I get why. It's just so fucking sad, you can't think about it and also expect to have a good day after LOLLLL.

I want to take a look at their relationship by comparing and contrasting two specific moments in it: Casca's first meeting with Griffith as a child, and Casca's first meeting with Griffith as Elaine, post-eclipse. I also want to go briefly into how, textually, Berserk handles atonement and forgiveness.

We're here to have a bad time!

Griffith Meets Casca as a Child

Griffith, as the young commander of a mercenary army, comes across Casca as the nobleman who purchased her from her family attempts to rape her. As Casca tells Guts looking back, it was as though an angel came down to her, a powerless girl, and gave her the agency to fight for herself.

It's not JUST that he saves her from the noble, it's that he puts the sword in her hand and shows her how she can fight for herself.

Casca's life up until that point has been marked by terror after terror, to the point where the daily injustices become banal, just part of her every day existence. Her family is helpless except to flee when bandits ride through their village. Then, at the age of twelve, she is offered up as an unwilling sacrifice for the good of all them. When a noble offers her family money to take away one of the mouths to feed, they have little choice but to accept. It's not ever specified how she felt about this at the time, and it's not clear if her parents have some inkling that the man they're selling their daughter to has ill intent - but what is clear is that there's no way for them to refuse the offer. After being sold off, the noble attempts to rape her - yet another instance of powerlessness.

Griffith giving her the sword might actually be the first time in Casca's entire life that she has any kind of power. It's key that he lets her kill the noble, both because of how it gives Casca agency over her own fate, again for the first time in her entire life, and because it reinforces the recurring theme in Berserk of atonement coming through direct confrontation with the people you hurt, in this case the sub-theme "everyone gets to kill their rapist."

It's also important to point out that Griffith's motivation here is seemingly completely altruistic. He hates that the nobles exert their power over the most helpless among them, and he gleefully takes the opportunity to humiliate the noble by turning the tables on him. Casca at this point is malnourished, and a girl, and completely unable to fight - there's no reason for him to welcome her into his band. There's no way he could have known how good of a fighter she would become, and how loyal, but in this moment he just says that if she wants to come with him, the decision is hers. This points to Griffith, in the early Golden Age, genuinely pushing for a more egalitarian world than the ones the nobles currently control (though I maintain that he always envisioned himself as being the supreme ultimate authority of that world as opposed to destroying the hierarchy entirely).

Griffith Meets Casca After the Eclipse

Casca, after the eclipse, is in a shockingly similar position to where she was when Griffith met her for the first time.

She's traumatized from sexual violence, unable to fight, unable to even talk, and helpless to the violence of the world around her. It's not quite right to compare her directly to twelve year old Casca, because child Casca was mentally sound and was capable of learning combat - but then the comparison isn't exactly right also because of the history between Griffith and Casca, and because of the years of loyalty and service Casca gave Griffith.

It's always complicated to analyze how, exactly, Griffith felt about Casca before the eclipse. For my part, I see him as viewing her akin to a favorite tool - he felt genuine affection for her, but in a sort of dehumanized way, while of course Casca saw him as beyond human and even godlike. He saw her as someone he could pluck up and put wherever he needed, and he took it for granted that she would always be by his side regardless of what he did. Honestly, I do think he geniunely liked her.

His actions towards her during the eclipse, and immediately before, are a reflection of having that stability shaken. When she attempts to exert her own agency by forming her own relationship with Guts, Griffith is suddenly made aware that she's stopped acting just like his favorite tool, and I think this makes him angry. His rape of her is in some ways reminding her of her "place" - she is being treated like an object both because of the rape itself, and because the main reason he rapes her is to hurt Guts. He is purely using her as a tool for his petty, malicious vengeance.

Then, two years later, he is reunited with her on the Hill of Swords.

I'll post these panels given the slightest opportunity lol. Griffith doesn't expect to save Casca - he moves completely unconsciously to protect her, and then when his heart still throbs upon seeing her and Guts, he says it must be because of the child inhabiting his body. This is of course up to interpretation - I don't fully buy it, because Griffith has never been honest about his feelings.

What I need to point out with this scene, though, is that Griffith does not for a second consider Casca. Everything on the Hill of Swords is about Guts, when arguably Casca is the one who was hurt the worst during the eclipse, and who was the most loyal to Griffith. For goodness' sake, she's the only reason Griffith still had a BotH to sacrifice in the first place. Griffith tells Guts that he no longer feels anything for anyone, and after saving her from the rock fall, Griffith does not even spare a glance towards her. She genuinely seems to mean nothing to him.

Interestingly, as Griffith leaves, again not even deigning to look at Casca, he gives one of the only examples of victim blaming in the entirety of Berserk, by saying that Guts should have expected what happened.

Griffith in the Golden Age seemed intimately aware of the dangers a young girl alone could face, and he wants to protect Casca from that despite her being a perfect stranger. Griffith after his rebirth must, then, also have some awareness of the dangers in the world facing a disabled woman like Elaine, particularly a branded one - and yet he leaves her to those dangers, uncaring of how she struggles under them.

The purpose of this comparison isn't to make an argument one way or the other about how much Femto is the same as Griffith. Just for clarity's sake, my stance is that Femto and Griffith are one and the same, and that all of Femto's actions (rape included) are actions taken by Griffith.

What I really just want to highlight here is the pure, unfeeling cruelty with which Griffith treats Casca after the eclipse. KLSHGSLKJ as if sexually assaulting her and completely destroying her mentally isn't enough, his apathy towards her after becomes a near constant torment as much as his outright hatred towards Guts. It must be noted that he offers Guts and Rickert a place in Falconia, while Casca gets no such acknowledgement. It's as though, to him, she doesn't even exist, while her entire life has been consumed by the trauma of his betrayal during the eclipse. Isn't that just painfully realistic, though? How often do the people who hurt you the most go on in life, unaware of the deep pain you feel every day?

A quick note I'd like to make is that, of course, we're intentionally not being given any sort of look into NeoGriffith's mind, save for the slightest hints in the Hill of Swords. We don't know if he does harbor any sort of thoughts about Casca, if he's intentionally avoiding thinking about her due to guilt (wouldn't that be nice), or if she genuinely means nothing to him with his heart apparently frozen. While I do want to point out that we shouldn't take what Griffith says at face value, I find myself struggling to imagine what internal monologue could justify his treatment of Casca, both during the eclipse and after.

I think if you're reading this you're wondering why tf I'm getting so emo about Griffith, who canonically raped Casca and killed everyone she ever knew and loved in front of her (save Guts), being mean to Casca in the aftermath. Like, do I think he should be nice to her? Pretend like nothing happened? No, of course not - what I want is that he didn't assault her in the first place, not after how much she idolized him and loved him. It's brutal to have watched that happen, and to watch the utter apathy with which he looks at her after, to the point that I wonder how he could have ever cared about her if this is what he would do.

As for protecting her as Elaine from the dangers in the world, am I really suggesting he should have plucked her up and away from Guts to hide her away from all the monsters in the world?

SPEAKING OF WHICH.......................

Griffith's Kidnapping of Casca

ohhhhh nmy god oh my fucking godhksdjfghnvlskfdj

Griffith left Casca to the dangers of the world on the Hill of Swords, and then the minute the fact that she's apart from him presents a weakness to him (ie his uncontrolled travel to visit her and Guts during his full moon transformations into their son), he just... Kidnaps her.

Casca has just revived, and has this sweet close-knit support system, and Griffith pulls her away from all of that because, to him, she is just a tool that he can pick up and place wherever he needs her. Again, we don't know what's going through Griffith's head as he does this, but we very much do see the way it impacts Casca, and that to me overrides whatever internal justification Griffith may have for his actions - if he even bothers to justify it to himself.

Smug bastard.

The utter dehumanization that Casca is subjected to by Griffith in chapter 372 is so... cruel. It's just cruel. There's no other word for it. After everything, he has her drugged in Falconia, and again he won't even deign to look at her. I have a whole post on Ch 372 here where I go through this in depth.

Before everything, Casca used to look at Griffith like this.

In Berserk, in order to be forgiven, characters need to go through an internal transformation that relates to the harm they previously caused. We look at Farnese, who was going to have Casca tried for heresy, and who wound up being Casca's protector and humbling herself by learning magic from Schierke. Then, with Guts, after assaulting Casca he makes a point of changing his whole ethos and allowing Farnese and Serpico to join him. His narrative punishment for this, also, is directly related to his relationship with Casca. She is terrified of him and refuses to be near him, to the point where he can't even help her be revived. Not to say he's fully forgiven, or that he SHOULD be fully forgiven until he can speak with revived Casca, but these are examples of how Berserk treats forgiveness and atonement. I really recommend this essay by @imhaitusncarnate on Guts and toxic masculinity.

Griffith, while running Falconia as an apparent utopia, has done absolutely nothing like that - and his interactions with Casca in particular are just absolutely horrific, torment after torment like she's not even a person to him. I think this is meant to set him apart from characters who truly seek to atone for the things they've done. With Guts, he's flawed and he fucks up again and again as he tries to protect Casca. With Griffith, he won't even acknowledge her as she's drugged and helpless in his "paradise."

It's so incredibly painful to look at their first meeting where Griffith saves her, and puts agency into her hands for the first time in her life, and then to see how he treats her now. That, I suppose, is the crux of this essay - in many ways I think Griffith's morality as a character is represented in how he treats Casca, and to overlook that (and to overlook her) is to miss some of the most important overarching themes in Berserk. In fairness, I think this goes for Guts as well. He's narratively supported when he's caring for Casca, and narratively punished when he isn't.

There can be some arguments that this treatment is simply because Miura doesn't care about women, but genuinely I don't buy that. I think there's plenty of textual evidence that, while flawed at times, Miura even from Conviction Arc intended Casca and her trauma to be a key player in both Guts' and Griffith's character arcs.

I don't think you need to be reminded every day of how horribly Griffith treats Casca post-eclipse because not everyone has an overabundance of melancholic humors like I do, but I think it's important to acknowledge it exists and not chalk it up to misogyny on Miura's end.

I think, eventually, Casca will have a moment where she takes agency back into her own hands, in contrast to the moment where Griffith helped her all those years ago. I also think, at some point, Griffith will have to really look at Casca again. It'll be interesting, and heartbreaking, to see what happens then.

#berserk meta #casca berserk #griffith berserk #casca #berserk #griffith #sad casca hours lfg

[not-goldy]

Right now there are some tkk left confused. Some left after Paris, some have been barely hanging on. Even saw some saying what Tae did with JK with the face time shirtless screenshot, actually mad them angry because now they feel Tae is gaslighting them or trolling them, esp since its all but confirmed he was in fact dating Jennie for 2 years. Coming to terms with things isn't easy or instant. It takes time. You don't have to switch from Tk to Jikook and accept Jikook is real now. What you can do is set yourself on your own path, away from the major big TK accounts still gaslighting you and making hella money off you. You say, well they aren't leaving and staying for a reason, maybe they do know things about TK. OR maybe its more like, why would they leave, even if Taekook is not real, cause you give them clout, money, attention and exposure. They ain't leaving when you do that, but you can.

The 5 big tk accounts who always end up on report accounts and you know who they are. Start with reporting these accounts and help them get taken down. Or better yet, take a stand against them and speak your peace to them. You earned the right. Do you honestly, deep down really think Jikook did this because there were no other choices? Come on. Don't do that to yourself. You've been corrected by Karmy who actually speak Jk's language on what he wanted to do and the reality is, it wouldn't have been where Tae is. And Tats didn't prevent him for being with Tae, cause Tae could have scarified and did this with Jk and went with him and you know this. This isn't a case of Jk will transfer to be with Tae after 5 weeks. You also know that is not gonna happen, it would defeat the whole point of what Jk did enlisting through buddy system. I am speaking to you like a rational adult. Like a human. Don't let these accounts who have gaslit you and made money off you, continue to lead you down a path of thinking Taekook are real and dating and Jimin and Hybe are villains keeping them apart and after military Tk are gonna come out and announce they are married with 2 adopted children. (TBH, you should have reported that grumpy tkk woman the day she said this, cause you know that is not sane. Its actually defamation, slander and mental illness) that you went alone with. You know Jk is a capable adult. You wanna say, well he liked a taekook tiktok. And honey he is the creator of GCF Tokyo, the biggest Jikook edit with a queer love song. He might have liked a TK tiktok edit, like he did a Jinkook edit, but he went with Jimin to Japan for 5 days right before enlisting. Sorry, to me that holds more significance. Saying Tae showed them shirtless was sending a message. They were also in sperate houses, talking and Vmin also said they video call shirtless, so there's that. Not to mention Jikook were standing next to each other on their private vacation with arm around their naked torso, in Jk's bday post pic from Jimin. The word T O G E T H E R, not separate houses. Don't do this to yourself and do the compare game, it won't work out for you. Do yourself a favor and Take what Jikook did with this enlistment as a reminder, to never let anyone else tell you what to feel or think, cause Taekook lives is telling you Jikook are not close, but Jikook are showing you different. Think for yourself. Or, wait around and keep holding on and let the fall be so bad, you will never recover from it. That is a scary thought to live with. If you think Paris was a bad fall, you wait for Jikook out of the Military. This was your warning shot from jikook. Your way as an out for good. Their way of telling you nothing will ever stop them from prioritizing each other and best believe they gonna show you when they get out. I would listen to them, if it were me and not someone gaslighting me to make money off me. Choice is yours.

💜💜💜💜💜💜

[angelsanarchy]

Alkaline: Euronymous x Y/N Series CH 6

Tagging: @ophelialaufey @madamemaximoff06 @forever-not-gonna-sink @ajmiila02 @liquidsmoothdomme @shady-the-simp @that-one-persons-posts

TW: Self Harm, Blood

Y/n knew that tonight was Mayhem's first show and as much as she wanted to be there for support, she knew she had to work. She had tried to call and wish him good luck but she got the voicemail. Since he lived with the band, she decided against leaving a message and just hoped he would come by and tell her how it went.

When they all piled into the restaurant, face paint half smudged off and louder than normal, Hammed started taking orders as quickly as he could. Y/n couldn't really interact at the moment as she was working the line instead of tables. The amount of drinks she had to uncap hurt her hands but she made sure to stack them all on a tray to be dropped off to them. Once Hammed got tired of taking orders, he switched onto grill and Y/n was able to greet Oystein.

"How did it go?" She asked brightly seeing little bits of his makeup still on the corners of his eyes and mouth.

"It went really well. Wish you could have seen it." He smiled back taking his food.

"Maybe someday." She knew it wasn't her scene but she would tough it out to see Oystein play.

"You didn't stick around for the party. I looked for you but they said you took off pretty early." He looked disappointed.

"I was still on the clock so I couldn't really stick around. I figured you wouldn't even have noticed surrounded by groupies." Y/n tried to keep it light but Oystein screwed up his face.

"Hardly. I don't give a shit about groupies." Y/n felt a slight uptick in her heart but she didn't want him to know it. She took a napkin and leaned over the counter to rub some of the smeared makeup away from his eye.

"I'm definitely going to need a shower at some point." Oystein laughed.

"I'd say so. I can't believe you brought your stench in here with that crew of misfits." Y/n finally noticed Pelle sitting in a chair with his head down.

"Ey he might need some more tape." One of the guys shouted to Oystein.

"Hey do you have any duct tape?" Y/n cocked an eyebrow.

"Um we should. Let me check the back." Oystein nodded and went to sit his food down on the table. When Y/n found the tape, she walked of the door and immediately say Oystein trying to help Pelle pull tape from his bloody wrists.

"Fuck!" Y/n's eyes went wide pushing the swinging bathroom door and seeing what they were doing.

"What the fuck happened and why are you putting fucking duct tape on it?!" Y/n looked at Pelle who was paler than normal.

"It's not as bad as it looks." Oystein said stupidly. Pelle made eye contact with Y/n and she walked back out of the bathroom towards the office. She grabbed the first aid kit and her purse from her locker. When she returned they had gotten all the tape off and she was staring at how scarred his arms were.

"Grab me a chair from the table please." Oystein ran out to grab the chair and Pelle was shaking.

"You don't have to-" Pelle started.

"Listen, I'm not here to judge you. If you want to die or feel or whatever, its your life to have or end but you can't come here and expect me to serve meat sandwiches when you're bleeding out in a booth." Y/n wasn't trying to scold him. She had a brother who battled terrible mental illness so she knew the anguish someone must feel to do this to themselves but she knew Hammed would lose his shit.

Oystein sat the chair down and she pushed Pelle into it. She knelt in front of him and Oystein watched her clean his wounds up, disinfect them and attempt to put bandages on them.

"These are only butterfly band aids but you need fucking stitches, Pelle." Y/n was about to open her second box of band aids.

"Dead....my name is Dead." She clicked her tongue against her teeth annoyed.

"You know, these stage names are starting to piss me off." Y/n looked at Oystein in the mirror. She put a long gauze pad on his wounds before getting up from the floor.

"Take him to get stitches as soon as you can." Y/n said as Pelle walked past her as if she didn't just stitch up his gapping wounds.

"He'll be okay. I'll make sure to get him stitched up." Oystein assure Y/n as she cleaned up the bloody gauze and bandage wrappers. She felt a hand on her back and she tensed.

"Hey...it's fine. He's done much worse than that." Oystein's words made her turn around.

"I can see that but that doesn't mean he's fine. If anything he's furthest from fine Oystein." She felt a weight on her chest like she wanted to cry and he could tell she was upset. He pulled her to his chest and she dodged it as the door swung open again.

It was the guy who was lurking around at the party the other night.

"Hey I wanted to say you guys were very good tonight...at your gig. My name is Christian-"

"Do you see I'm a little busy here?" Oystein snapped. The way he spoke to Oystein gave off much different vibes than she would have thought. She assumed it was a friend but he came off more as a fanboy. He backed out of the bathroom leaving them both standing alone. Y/n quickly scrubbed her hands in the sink wanting to be out of that confined space.

"Y/n.." Oystein reached out again.

"I've got to get back to work." Y/n wiped her face and pushing past him. They continued to cut up and eat for another 20 minutes before they finally left. Y/n felt so tense and uneasy, all she wanted to do was scream.

#R!Euronymous #FIlm: Lords of Chaos #One Shot Series #Alkaline #Alkaline Series #Rory Culkin #Culkin Cult #R!Euronymous x Y/N #6/35

[loserdiaz]

tagged by the lovely @wikiangela (it's not tuesday for me yet but tomorrow ill be gone all day so im posting now bc why not ksjsjd)

here are some previous snippets: one, two and three and if you interact with this post here, you'll get tagged whenever i publish the fic <333

anyway, more from the witness protection au! 💌

"So, what's your favorite color?"

Eddie turns around, looking at Buck bemusedly. "What?"

"We're married, I guess? I should know some stuff about you."

"And you thought you'd ask about my favorite color?" Eddie turns back to the pancakes— Buck thinks maybe they smell a little burned but he doesn't dare to point that out.

"You can tell a lot about a person by their favorite color." "Like what?" Eddie asks without turning back to face him.

"I don't know." Buck rolls his eyes and lets out an exasperated breath through his nose. "Like, if you say black it's technically a color and that is your favorite, you're probably a psychopath. Or depressed."

Eddie snorts.

"Okay, maybe you can't know a lot about a person by their favorite color." Buck huffs out a weak laugh and leaves the apple to rest on the center of the table. "Still, humor me."

"Mhmm, I don't know." Buck sees the muscle of Eddie's back move under his shirt as he gives a half-hearted shrug. "I guess, blue? I haven't really thought about what my favorite color is."

"Oh, okay. Good to know my husband is boring."

"Your husband just made you breakfast. So, you're welcome."

Buck looks at the pancakes warily— The edges are really, really burned, so bad that they're black and the rest of the pancakes are a dark shade of golden, bordering on brown.

Buck raises an eyebrow at Eddie as his gaze darts back and forth from the man to the food and vice versa.

"Buck, they're fine."

"Are you sure about that, Eddie?"

"Just eat the damn pancakes, man."

and for the people who tagged me on inspiration saturday, here's a moodboard <33

tagging (no pressure): @monsterrae1 @buddierights @cowboy-buddie @cowboy-buck @eddiebabygirldiaz @jeeyuns @transbuck @forthewolves @jesuisici33 @thewolvesof1998 @eddiediaztho @exhuastedpigeon @prettyboybuckley @rogerzsteven @the-likesofus @spotsandsocks @spaceprincessem @911-on-abc @ladydorian05 @daffi-990 @hippolotamus @giddyupbuck @disasterbuckdiaz @thosetwofirefighters @messyhairdiaz @honestlydarkprincess @bigfootsmom @athenagranted @diazblunt @911onabc @housewifebuck @bekkachaos and anyone else who wants to do it!

#witness protection au #evan buckley #eddie diaz #buck x eddie #buddie #buddie fic #buddie wip #my wips #my writing #911 fic #911 wip #911 abc #911 on abc

[thecampjuicebox]

Just in time for Halloween, a loose interpretation of a lovely request from @xxevilbunnyxxsblog! I hope I do this idea justice, as I've been having a lot of trouble with the original concept that was requested. It's been brewing in my mind for a few days now. Certainly taking some creative liberties here, but it should be good (hopefully). Here we go, this is a long one.

Aeterna Amantes

Pairing: Astarion x Tav(f)

Rating: 18+, Minors DNI

POV: 2nd person

Warnings: Angst, fluff, biting, very brief usage of a dagger, teasing, mutual pining, possessive dom Ascended Astarion x newly turned spawn sub Tav

The slender branches of baren trees rustle in the night air above your head, full moon casting a faint white light over the tired city. A shiver rumbles the vertebrae in your spine. Gods, it's frigid. Your brain fizzes in excitement as you slowly approach the castle nestled just outside the upper city, fingers wiggling in your black lace gloves. It's been 5 years since you've last seen him. 5 years of agonizing want. Worry. Astarion's ascension had driven a wedge between the two of you that seemingly nothing could remove. His arrogance, his lust for power, how easily he cast you out of the palace. The visions of that day still sting in your ears. You had challenged his decision to make you one of his spawn. Begged for there to be another way. You loved him, and he, you. But that wasn't enough for him. He longed for eternity. Something you were entirely too hesitant to give him. You had fallen ill in the castle, barely hanging on to the fragile thread of life. He prepositioned you that very night. Offered you an immediate cure. When you denied him, he became a different person. He spat, he ranted and raved. Oh, how he yelled at you. Pointed towards the door and bared his fangs to threaten you. Told you to leave or he'd kill you right in your shared bed chamber. Your heart aches in your chest at the memory and you blink hot tears away from the corners of your eyes.

Whispers of the extravagant event had circulated around the town, every high lord and lady enthralled with the preparations of it all. The wealthiest members on the Sword Coast planned to travel into the city. It was a shock when the invitation arrived to your home. The post master joked with you about the fancy gold seal on the letter and you rolled your eyes, fully expecting some pompous letter outlining how big of a mistake you had made by defying the vampire Lord back then. You opened it with trembling fingers, the words seeming to bounce right off of the parchment and read themselves in Astarion's voice. A voice you'd hoped you had forgotten by now.

"Dearest Tav,

It is with great pleasure that I ask you to accompany me to my Liar's Night Masquerade. You will come, won't you? Arrive adorned in your finest silks and lace for I would expect, nor accept, anything less from you. I do request you wear that gown I had made for you all those years ago. The one that hugs your delicious curves and accentuates your beauty the way no artist or canvas has ever been able to. You look truly captivating in it and I miss the sight of you twirling around the halls, your hair swirling around you like the dark embrace of the very shadows we dwell in. Do not forget your mask. It is all part of the fun, after all. Find me in the ballroom once you arrive, we have much to discuss. I shall see you on the 30th night of Marpenoth. I will be awaiting your correspondence, my love.

Signed,

Lord Astarion Ancunin."

Now, the night has arrived. You'd spent ages getting ready, making sure each curl in your hair was perfect. Taking care that each ruffle and seam on your expensive gown would be to the vampire's liking. Not once did you stop to consider.. Why did it matter so much? Truth be told, you still love the fanged tyrant. Still ache for his commanding words and sweet touch. The ruby amulet Astarion had gifted you the night after his Ascension rests on your collarbones, twinkling in the light of the large lanterns illuminating the walkway to the castle. A simple touch that, you hope, will sweeten the vampire's words even more tonight. Your hair falls in perfect ringlets that rest on your bare shoulders, each step on the cobblestone jostling the locks around. You approach the steps and carefully ascend them, grasping the thick layers of silk and lace of your dress in your trembling hands. An armed elven spawn stands stoic next to the door. Piercing red eyes stare down at you.

"Name?"

"You remember who I am, Feno."

You carefully lift the black lace mask covering your eyes and blink up at the tall spawn. An expression of realization twists on the elf's face and he curves his thick lips into a smile.

"Ah, Tav. Lovely to see you again. We've been expecting you."

He reaches for the iron handle of the door, carefully pulling it open to grant you access to the lavish castle. Pumpkins line the velvet black carpet that leads into the foyer. Lanterns and pillar candles are nestled between the colorful collection of gourds, very dimly lighting the way towards the heavy oak doors of the ballroom. The faint sound of an orchestra of bards rings through the halls and you follow the melodies, another well-dressed pair of spawn pulling open the grand doors for you. The scene is exquisite. Overwhelming. Every lord and lady on the Sword Coast dances and twirls happily, golden chalices resting in their hands, surely full of the finest wine that Baldur's Gate has to offer. Horith, one of Astarion's spawn that you became rather close with before you had disappeared, places a gentle hand on your shoulder. You jump, startled by his touch and he leans in to whisper quietly against your pointy ear.

"The master is waiting for you. Right this way."

A muscular forearm bends out for you, sparkling eyes piercing your own. You nod once and wrap your arm around his, fingers resting against the soft silk of his coat. Your free hand reaches down to gather your dress as to not step on it and you begin your walk to the expectant vampire lord. Eyes follow you from all directions. Horith gives your arm a gentle squeeze of reassurance. "They've all come for you." A look of confusion knits your eyebrows together. For you? Surely this is a misunderstanding. You'd been invited to this ball in the same fashion as everyone else, hadn't you? Lords and ladies bow and curtsy as you pass by and your breath hitches in your chest when your eyes settle on him. Astarion sits comfortably in a velvet chair well past the crowd, the platform he rests on raised enough for him to spot you and your escort over the heads of his other guests. A path clears in front of him as if by force.

"My love. You've come.."

Horith releases your arm and bows to the vampire lord, remaining bent at the waist as he descends the stairs to capture your hand in his. Gentle lips brush over your lace-covered knuckles and your cheeks burn crimson. Time seems to stop around you. The dancing. The merriment. All put on pause for this one moment. Your heart thumps audibly in your ribcage as Astarion turns your hand over and presses a kiss to the pulsing vein just at your wrist.

"You've really come.."

His red eyes flick to yours through the small leather mask that covers just the top half of his face and your knees nearly buckle beneath you. The softness of his voices makes your skin burn beneath his touch. He missed you. Maybe as much as you've missed him. Gentle hands reach out to grasp your hips and pull you to him, his slender arms wrapping around you tightly. The guests resume their dancing, music and the taps of feet overwhelming your senses. Nuzzling his nose into your hair, he inhales deeply, your familiar scent of lavender and orchids making him shudder.

"Follow me. We need to talk."

Hasty steps carry you down the hallway to the right of his lavish chair, the loud sounds of the party disappearing behind the two of you. Large golden-framed paintings of the vampire and his various spawn line the walls. He leads you up a winding staircase and down another hallway to the massive oak double doors of his boudoir. His grip on your hand tightens and you wiggle your fingers playfully, following him once he slips into the dark room. Un-lit and half melted candles drip down the sides of the black iron candelabras on the walls. With a snap, Astarion lights just enough to illuminate the area you're standing in, gentle firelight dancing off of your hair and the bright red ruby resting on your chest. His curls flow perfectly down the black leather and velvet of his Masquerade attire, the small black mask covering his eyes giving him an air of mystery. You'd know those eyes anywhere, though. You're caught off guard by the force of the vampire pressing you into the wall, soft lips crashing against yours in a long overdue kiss. Mouths move in unison. A small whimper escapes between your lips, driving Astarion to kiss you harder. Slower. To savor every moment he has with you now.

A smooth tongue flicks out against your bottom lip, begging for entry. You part your lips in acceptance. Tongues wrestle, teeth bump, hands wander. The smooth black lace of your dress hugs the supple curves of your body perfectly and Astarion's hands intend to explore every part with ease, exactly like they used to.

"Astarion.. You said we needed to talk."

You break the kiss, chest heaving. He slips his mask off, tossing it onto the neatly made up bed to your left. A trembling hand reaches up to stroke his hair back, the vampire beginning to pace back and forth before you.

"I had an entire monologue prepared. I wanted to yell at you. Chastise you for leaving me.."

You interject, heat rising in your throat at his words.

"You told me to leave, Astarion. Or have you forgotten?"

Footsteps pause, Astarion's eyebrows knitting together and he shoots you a glance that could petrify an ogre. He palms at his eyes for a moment before continuing on.

"No, I haven't forgotten. I had hoped you'd come tonight, is my point. I had a plan. A plan to make you submit to me. To convince you to stay. And then you.. You show up. Looking like-"

He waves his hand in your direction, motioning up and down your body.

"-That. And now I.. I can't think. I have hundreds of spawn. Slaves. Men and women that would slit their own throats for a chance to enjoy my company. Drive a stake through their own heart just to hear me utter their name. They wait, with baited breath, for my commands. And none of it means anything."

Shaking his head, he wipes a tear from beneath his eye with his thumb. The pathetic tone of his voice makes your heart sink into your stomach. You weigh your options. Staying here with him would mean eternity, the very eternity that made you uncomfortable in the first place. You could slip away into the night and leave, never to see him or this castle again. Leave Baldur's Gate forever. Your stomach churns, hot bile burning the back of your throat. Another night without your pale lover could be the end of you. Shaking your head, you continue towards him, a delicate hand cupping his cold cheek. His eyes meet yours. Tender. Ardent. A composed smile curves the vampire's lips upwards.

"None of it means anything without you here. All the nights I begged and pleaded to any god that would hear me.. For you to return to my side to become my consort. Ascension has meant nothing without my love."

You cradle his face in your hands now, gaze matching his. He sighs at your clement touch and leans into you. A light tingling sensation travels up your spine causing you to pull your bottom lip between your teeth. Your next words nearly catch in your throat and you clear the lump there, speaking softly up at the vampire.

"Astarion... M-Make me a spawn so I may remain by your side."

A heavy gasp forces its way into his lungs, eyes blown wide with surprise. He quirks an eyebrow at you and traces his fingers down your side, following the seam of your dress.

"You're sure?"

"Positive."

Tender kisses speckle the side of your neck, over the front of your throat, and down to the other side, little nips at your flesh making your hips squirm. Stalwart fingers wrap themselves around your wrists and Astarion backs you towards the deep red wall behind you. Your back makes contact with a thud. He presses your wrists together to make it easier to hold them both in place with one hand, his now free hand reaching down to the sheath tucked snuggly next to his thigh. A silver dagger tip suddenly presses itself into your sternum. You freeze. Heat travels down to your core and you squirm beneath the blade. Cold lips and hot breath meet your pointed ear, the blade pressing ever so slightly harder into your skin.

"If you ever try to leave me again.. I will kill you myself."

Nodding meekly, your hips press forward into his, searching for any sort of friction the vampire will allow. His thin lips curve up into a smirk, tongue jutting out to trace a line up the side of your neck. Without warning he rears back and sinks his fangs into your flesh. Shards of ice soar through your veins and your eyes roll back into your head. The pain is much deeper than you remember. Stars and speckles float around your vision as Astarion consumes you, little dribbles of blood trickling down and staining your skin. Your arms go limp, your jaw slack, back bowing off of the wall for a moment before you slip away.

...

"Lady Ancunin, I do hate to disturb your sleep.. But I've set out some clothing for you. The master requests your presence in the throne room once you're dressed."

The sweet voice of a vampire spawn stirs you from the heavy shroud of sleep. You rub your eyes and stretch upwards, taking care to grasp the silk blankets surrounding you up and around your bare chest. The previous night is a complete blur. All you know is, you ache. Inside and out. A gentle hand reaches up to prod at the side of your neck and you wince at the still fresh puncture wounds. Scanning your surroundings, your eyes fall on the young woman. A thin, pale half-elf, eyes dark like garnet. You give her a gentle smile.

"I do appreciate it. I'm sorry, what did you call me?"

"I-I... The master has instructed that we all refer to you as Lady Ancunin, m-madam. I apologize."

Your lips curve into a frown at her frightened nature and you arise from the bed, naked body shivering from the cold air of the boudoir. You stand before the trembling elf and place a hand against her smooth cheek.

"it's quite alright, child. Please tell Astarion I'll be right down."

She nods and scurries away, leaving the silk garment Astarion requested you wear on the edge of the bed. Lifting the thin fabric into your hands, you examine it for a moment. A burgundy dress made of the finest silk that Faerun has to offer. Featherlight fingers slip the dress onto your frame and you move towards a mirror. You gasp quietly. You can't see yourself. You lean in towards the image of the boudoir behind you, eyebrows raising at your lack of reflection. The curls in your hair managed to hold from last night, your fingers finding the stray ringlets. The locks feel softer. Stronger. Your skin feels smoother. Your senses are heightened now, the sound of the spawn throughout the castle completing their daily tasks buzzing in your ears. And you're hungry. So painfully, devastatingly hungry.

Quick steps carry you to the throne room and you find Astarion handling business with one of the many magistrates of the upper city, quills and parchment passing back and forth between the two men. His eyes flick to yours when you enter the room and he beckons you to him. The magistrate quickly turns his attention to you, bowing without a second thought. "Lady Ancunin." You smile sweetly at the gentleman, making your way to the pedestal that Astarion's throne rests on, the velvet rug beneath your feet a comforting sensation. The vampire lord pulls you into his lap and strokes the back of your hair lovingly, pressing little kisses to your shoulder. The magistrate collects his scrolls, leaving the room quickly as you settle into your spot. Astarion's hands rest on your hips and toy subconsciously with the soft material of your dress, a quiet growl leaving him. His lips travel up the side of your neck to rest against your ear.

"You look beautiful.. And you'll stay beautiful forever. Thank you for trusting me."

"So I'm your spawn.. What will happen to me?"

Astarion tuts, shaking his head quickly.

"Spawn is such an ugly word. I prefer.. Consort. Don't you worry. You have supped of my blood. It will be no trouble to extend a fraction of my protection to you."

"Am I going to be.. Different?"

Your lover tugs your back closer to him, his teeth leaving little marks along your exposed shoulder and he mumbles against your skin.

"You will be stronger, swifter, sharper. But you won't be different. You were already perfect before. It's hard to improve."

Your head leans back to rest against the vampire lord's shoulder. His embrace is comfortable. Safe. Your fingers meld with his his as his arms wrap carefully around your thin torso.

"So what now?"

A firm grasp on your thigh sends a shockwave through your core, your teeth clamping down onto your plush bottom lip. The vampire lord chuckles behind you and relaxes back into his seat, hands resting on the sides of your thighs now.

"As much as I wish to.. Sequester you in a deep chamber of my palace and keep you all to myself, there's much to be done. First we'll take Baldur's Gate. Then, we'll take the world. We'll dominate it until the sun itself melts. And then... We'll give ourselves to the night."

Fingernails dig into your skin, hiking up the deep red dress that just barely shields your otherwise naked body from the elements. Warm breath fans out over the back of your neck and you tremble at the new sensation, hips wiggling. Astarion grunts at the sudden friction against his lap and presses you firmly in that spot.

"Will you still drink my blood?"

Salacious fingers prod at your thighs and hips. You grind your rear against the lap beneath you and grin at the little sounds you earn, hands reaching back behind you to tangle in your lover's hair. His lips press firmly to your neck, tongue lapping at the healing wounds.

"Of course I will. And you'll drink mine. I can't wait to taste your lips after you've tasted me.. You must be hungry, my love. You shall feed. We must take care of your.. Cravings."

You groan at his words, hips finding a steady rhythm now. Astarion stands and lifts you with him bridal style, piercing red eyes telling you all you need to know about what comes next.

"Aeterna Amantes."

"Lovers forever. Until the world falls down."

#bg3 #astarion #bg3 fanfiction #baldurs gate 3 #astarion x tav #ascended astarion #fic request #bg3 fanfic

[caffeine-clouds]

Sonic Characters When They're Sick

Hi, I'm sick - which is fun. But this gives me a good excuse to make yet another post. How Sonic characters act when they or their friends are sick, let's go hoes:

Sonic: He has two moods. When he just has mild sniffles? The WHOLE world knows about it;. He whines with the worst case of man flu imaginable and acts like he's about to die - much to the annoyance of everyone around him.

However, when he has a sickness you should worry about? No, you won't know about it. He'll keep trucking along to the best of his ability until he faints. As for when his friends are sick? He's more likely to laugh than anything else before running to get some medication.

Tails: He's smart so he actually knows like - how to take care of himself. He has a tendency to downplay his symptoms though but thankfully Sonic can spot when Tails is going through a rougher patch than he's letting on. The only time Tails will neglect looking after himself is when he's currently working on a big project and he doesn't want to stop - regardless of his sickness. Sleepless nights end up only making things worse and you get the point. Sonic or Amy has to drag him away from his work as a result.

Knuckles: For a guy who's lived in the wilderness all his life and has never stepped foot in a hospital - he's only gotten sick once in his life, guess he built up his immunity. He's got all the natural herbal remedies ready to go for his friends and basically goes into full-blown crunchy mom mode when he hears they're struggling. You have medicine in your hand? Nope, nope. Put that down. He's got the flowers, herbs, salts, and essential oils right here - you'll be just fine.

Amy: Again, as a functioning member of society - she knows how to take care of herself. She balances it out - she has both medicine and natural remedies to treat herself and others. She is doting on others when they're sick, especially Tails. Although she doesn't have patience for Sonic's bullshit. She WILLL show up to your house with dozens of baked goods because sugar = happiness, simple equation.

Rouge: Drama Queen, period. Homegirl is dramatic even when it's just a common cold. This has had an undesirable effect on her teammates that we will discuss later. She lays on the couch under a blanket, tub of ice cream in hand and watch whatever TV show she's been meaning to binge. Being ill is an excuse to be chill - that's her motto. She might remember to take actual medicine.

Shadow: Can't get sick. But when someone around him is sick, his germaphobe mode fucking activates. He will be cleaning the same countertop for ten minutes straight, very vigurously. Why? Because Rouge ended up accidentally teaching him that all form of Mobian sickness is the end of the world and in his mind - anyone could die from a cold if untreated. He does not want it spreading, and if he could get Rouge to wear a hazmat suit - he would. He's the one reminding everyone else to take their fucking meds.

Omega: He doesn't really understand the concept of sickness all that much but when he sees Rouge in pain - his instict is to go straight to the source. He will interrogate to find out who she caught it from and will proceed to beat up that person if they fail to stop him. Although let's be frank - he's mainly just feigning his ignorance at this point so he can have an excuse to get violent.

Blaze: Again, knows how to take medicine and keep herself hygenic. Often doted on by castle staff allthough she doesn't really like it when it happens. She will keep insisting she can carry out her royal duties instead of taking rests - which can have poor effects. But again, castle staff are there to stop her from going too far. Her friends also encourage her to rest because they know of this habit of hers. If her friends are sick - she'll make sure they have their meds, a place to rest, and a warm cup of tea before leaving them so she can go about her day.

Silver: Surprisingly the most competent in dealing with sickness alongside Amy. Again, a surprisingly strong immune system despite how much ash he's probably inhaled over the years. Maybe chaos energy exoposure fixed it - who knows? But anyways - he rests, he takes his medicine, but if he hears his friends are in a fight he will show up to it regardless of how he feels. When his friends are sick - he's supportive, always checking in to offer company and he's texting cute cat GIFs to cheer people up.

Tangle: She's got you, okay? She'll make you a nice drink - hot chocolate - with cream and sprinkles - she's on it, she'll give you snacks, she will find her old video game consoles and comics to keep you entertained, she will get you dozens of blankets - everything you need! Everything... except... medicine. She has a tendency to forget the important part.

Whisper: If she doesn't know you too well, she'll pass you the paracetamol with the longest piece of apparatus she can find so she doesn't have to get too close to you. If she is close to you however, (i.e. Tangle) - she is fretting, girl is waiting on hands and knees, she is ready to give you EVERYTHING you need - you just gotta say the word.

#sonic the hedgehog #sonic #sth #sonic headcanons #tails the fox #amy rose #knuckles the echidna #rouge the bat #shadow the hedgehog #silver the hedgehog #blaze the cat #tangle the lemur #whisper the wolf #e 123 omega

[viridwns]

If I could make a request with your Vincent post! Perhaps you could do one where the reader gets incredibly ill, like hospital stay I'll and just barely pulls through. I'd love to see how the boys and their dad respond to a situation like that, one they have no control over.

so, I just assumed you wanted it when the boys are older (around 16), because there is quite a difference if the boys were younger (around 5 or so). I am a bit too lazy to write for both ages so let’s say they are older and therefore wiser, but also more possessive and lovesick (platonic). It also has effect on Vincent, if the twins were younger, he would be more stressed. His boys can’t live without a mother, now he must look after them all the time and has to tell them off more for wanting to visit their mom. If they are older, he can give them more work to run the business and they would also know what to do if something happens to mom. They also understand why they can’t cling to their mother; they could catch the disease you have if they do.

now that this is out of the way, let’s start.

Yan!Vincent Phantomhive x Sick!mom!reader

WARNINGS: Abuse, mentions about dying

Part 2

masterlist

Not Yet

Vincent was anxious. You had been sick for more than two weeks already and it didn’t seem like you were getting any better. He had called the best doctors of London to see what was wrong with you, if you had any kind of tropic disease, what medicines were best for you, but none of them knew, none of them worked. He had snapped at them for not doing their job right, yelling they should go back to med school if they couldn’t even prescribe the right kind of antidotes.

The mansion had returned to its usual emptiness, the emptiness you filled when he married you. It was quiet, everyone was on edge. The boys had been more closed off, spending their time whispering to one another or guarding over their mother when she was sleeping, making sure her breathing was regular. Ciel jumped to your side every time your breathe even hitched the slightest. The younger one held your hand every time he was with you, constantly checking your heartbeat. You were too weak to even talk to them at times. If you didn’t feel like eating, they had to force some soup down your throat, which you couldn’t even keep in for more than five minutes.

You were exhausted every second of the day, no matter how many hours you slept, when you woke up you could close your eyes again right after. Your skin was clammy all the time, even though you felt like you were freezing. You couldn’t keep any food in your system for long periods, your body rejected everything you ingested.

The thought of dying had come up at some point when you couldn’t even sit up straight anymore, it was shortly after the second week had passed and a doctor had left your chambers when Vincent lashed out at him. You gave the man a sympathetic look before he left.

Vincent put his hand on his face and dragged it down, eyebags were weighing heavy under his eyelids. He wasn’t allowed to sleep next to you in case your disease was infectious. That took a toll on him. For you it was quite pleasant, your bed had never felt so spacious, less suffocating. This was the freest you had ever been in your life. Vincent and the twins were only allowed to visit you every hour to check up on you, but they weren’t allowed to stay more than a few minutes since you had to rest allot. Not even Tanaka was allowed to see you.

You rested your head on the cushion under you, your limbs feeling like cement blocks and your muscles stiff as a board. You felt the bed dip from beside you, a soft creak leaving the wood underneath. Vincent caressed your cheek with his gloved hand. You gazed up at him, his expression unreadable.

”What are you thinking about?” You asked him, your voice hoars even though you didn’t speak more than five sentences a day. Vincent shook his head and switched his hand from your face to hold yours. Outside from the doctors that came to visit you ever so often, Vincent and the boys were your only form of outside contact, if you didn’t talk to them, you felt like you were going to go mad. You nudged him with the bit of power you had left.

”Hey, come on now. You know I’ll keep pushing you until you talk.” You smiled at him; he returned the gesture. “Oh, and if I know.” Sarcasm was clear in his voice. You gave him a few more seconds before he spoke up again. “I am just worried about you; you aren’t making any progress.” You were taken aback, not by his words, but by the expression he made. His eyes were glazed over, his lips downturned and his eyebrows furrowed. You had never seen your husband so distraught, so vulnerable. It looked like he could break any second.

He squeezed your hand before kissing it. “I spend every second of my time with you, trying to protect you from the outside world and now I can’t even get you to drink soup.” A tear escaped from his eye; you didn’t know what to say when you saw the droplet rolling down his cheek. Never in your life have you seen Vincent cry and it scared you. He had done everything in his power to keep you by his side, you were afraid of what he would do if you died. It may seem crazy, but deep down you knew he would find a way to make sure not even death could take the two of you apart.

A knock was coming from the door. Ciel opened it, a tray of food resting in his hand.

”Father, Tanaka is requesting your presence in your office.” Vincent wiped away the tear with his hand before standing up, giving you a quick kiss on your forehead before leaving. Ciel let his father leave the room before closing the door, his twin walking right behind him.

”You look beautiful today, mother” The younger one said before taking his place on a stool beside you. You laughed meekly. “That is what you said yesterday. I look like absolute shit, and you know it.” [redacted] gasped. “Language mother! And that is simply not true, you are gorgeous, no matter what.” Ciel placed the tray on the bed, he hooked his arm behind your back and helped you sit up straight. You smiled at your youngest son. “I am dying, I can say whatever I want.” The word left your lips without a second thought. To be honest, you didn’t even notice you said it before Ciel’s hand connected with your cheek. Making a horrid sound as it did. A sharp gasp left your mouth as [redacted] stopped your body from falling over to the side. Tears sprung into your eyes as you looked up to your oldest son, his eyes were full of fury, his breathing was ragged. You were gripping onto the younger twin like your life depended on it. “Ciel!” He yelled, you were still in a state of shock as you stared into the eyes of your son, they looked too much like his.

”Do not ever say that again! You hear me!” Ciel bellowed, you coward more into your younger son as he wraps his arms around you protectively. “That is enough, Ciel! She’s already weak, don’t make it worse.” He snapped at his brother. Ciel sat down on the bed, putting a hand through his hair, he was trying to calm himself down. “Mama, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to. That word just brings me so much fear and pain. I can’t lose you.” He reached out to caress the red spot he just swatted. You flinched away before he could even reach it. Ciel bit his lip. “Mama, please—” You didn’t let him finish his sentence. “Get out.” Your voice was barely above a whisper. You crawled out of your son’s arms. Both looked at you confused. “Mother what are you saying?” [redacted] questioned as he tried to hold your hand, but you pulled your arm away. “I said get out.” You looked between both your sons. In two weeks, you had never felt so energetic, so healthy. Ciel stood up. “I said I was sorry, you know I don’t like hurting you, but you brought it onto yourself.” You cringed at his manipulation tactic; your other son stood up as well. “I don’t care! Just leave me alone!” This was the loudest you had been all week; your voice was trembling and it cracked the harder you screamed. “But mama—” You pushed your youngest son from the position you were in, he didn’t budge a bit, but the message was clear. “Out!” Ciel pursed his lips before walking to the door, his brother looking at you with a pained expression, but upon meeting your fire filled eyes, he went after Ciel and left you alone in the room. You balled your hands into fists, you had to take your anger out on something. In the corner of your eyes, you saw the tray with freshly baked bread and steaming soup still resting in the same spot. Without even a second thought, you grabbed the tray and with all your might, you threw it against the door. The soup splashed onto the door, the tray making an awful lot of sound when it made contact with the wood. The bread landed on the floor with a soft thud. Your breathing was heavy as you sat there on the bed, adrenaline slowly leaving you and exhaustion slowly taking over you body. You were still leaning a bit to the left from throwing the tray. Your limbs became heavier and heavier, but instead of falling onto the bed, you fell to the left and onto the floor. You couldn’t even get your body to move as you let out a pained groan. You were so so tired. You had been prisoner for too long, it was finally time for you to let yourself be free. You vaguely registered your husband bursting through the door, looking around the room before seeing you sprawled out on the floor. He was yelling something, but you had no idea what. You saw your sons’ standing behind him. One was crying, one was staring at your limp body with horror in his eyes. Vincent was cradling you into his arms. You looked at his mouth, it kept making the same movements, as if he was calling out a name. Was it yours? You didn’t know. Everything around you became blurry as the only thing you felt was your heartbeat slowly decreasing. It didn’t hurt as much as you thought it would. You focused on the ceiling above you, drowning out the scene around you. A small smile crept up your lips as you finally felt at peace, accepting your death with open arms, but right before you closed your eyes, you felt someone pick you up, was Vincent carrying you? You let your head roll to the side to look at the person holding you. Panic shot through your system once again as you saw the face of the man who held you. Green eyes pierced through your [E/C] ones. The scar that crossed his features giving away his identity immediately.

Vincent wasn’t going to let you rest just yet.

#yandere ciel #yandere vincent #yandere vincent phantomhive #yandere kuroshitsuji x reader #yandere kuroshitsuji #y/n #anime #x y/n #kuroshitsuji #kuroshitsuji x reader #black butler #yandere black butler #platonic yandere ciel phantomhive #yandere vincent x reader #yandere vincent phantomhive x reader #vincent phantomhive x reader #vincent phantomhive #vincent x reader

[icarustypicalfall]

ALRIGHT LISTEN

this is just an opinion no need to get in my inbox and hate :)

i GENUINELY wonder if my fics are not good enough, or it's just because i am writing about the "side charachters" and not ghost or könig..

i mean ofc everyone have tastes but the way pepole act on socials and keep out charachters like Rudy and Alejandro makes me wonder if this is a preference or r*cism.

(before you say it, i am not making drama and we can't keep turning around the pot forever)

(also Horangi and Gaz are extremely underrated, fortunately ppl started to include them back after the chaos of September. i understand some people may not like a character or not write for him because they don't want to mess it up. but leaving him out like MANY did isn't okay.)

I am not blaming anyone but genuinely wondering why some charachters get all the attention while we can berly find content for any other character, who are really interesting as well and deserve appreciation.

**

I am not against any headcanon, sticking with the canon events is fine.

y'all need to let people do what they love, even if you don't like it, someone enjoys it. And the purpose of a fandom is to recreate and make new stuff out of the actual product.

Although, what is extremely wrong is oversexualizing the charachters, making from them some mentally ill monsters and manicas. You should educate yourself on disorders and similar stuff before writing it, you may think it's ok, but in reality love, you are making a huge mistake.

(I've seen some stuff that was extremely messed up and the people who wrote that really need to touch some grass and urgent therapy. Some stuff shouldn't be posted at all..)

Also, the face models are actual people.. and the comment section under their posts makes me sick.. some of y'all took the digital footprint for granted..

remember they can read, or see anything you'll say. they have family, friends seeing what y'all say about them..

imagine seeing someone say that stuff about your friend or parent..

Also Samuel Roukin and every other actor are beautiful, they are humans and don't have to be a flawless super model.(he is in fact very handsome 🤭)

Look in the mirror darling and remember that the person you are hating on is a human just like you and have feelings.

AS A CONCLUSION

- you can like whoever you want i am not judging anyone and i am not forcing you to like any character 🤦🏻‍♀️

can't believe i had to add this ppl seriously need to touch grass

-give other characters attention

-dont hate on others for having different opinions

-the face models are humans

-there is some point where you should ask yourself if what you wrote is okay

-its könig not konig

-graves is an antogonist and was supposed to be evil

- all of the charachters did something wrong at some point, this is war and not roses and flowers

this is my opinion and idc i wanted to rant cuz i had enough

masterlist

#call of duty x reader #call of duty #cod mw3 #cod modern warfare #call of duty headcanons #writblr #cod rant #i had enough #alejandro mw2 #captain price #captain mactavish #horangi #könig mw2 #ghost simon riley #task force 141 #los vaqueros x reader #kyle gaz garrick x you #call of duty fanfic #cod headcanons #phillip graves x reader

[circlique]

Color Theory in ATLA: Part 2

Let’s talk colors! ATLA is a colorful show! I’ve already covered color coding at a surface level here if you want to read. But how else does ATLA use color narratively? This post will cover the importance of color in the narrative, which gave us such iconic, visually striking scenes as the last agni kai.

By the way, this is actually a propaganda post for @multicolor-fandom-tournament, where you should totally go vote for ATLA in the final. As much as I love Pokemon, I wanna see someone else win a poll for once. Give ATLA some love. But mostly, it's just an analysis post about Zuko. Anyway, let’s get started.

The biggest use of color in the narrative is long and drawn out, but concludes in the most visually striking scene in the series, the last agni kai between Zuko and Azula. This showdown is foreshadowed at various points throughout the show. Despite red typically being the color of fire and characters associated with it, Azula is strongly associated with the color blue. She is the only character who bends blue fire, and one of the few who can bend lightning, which is also depicted as blue. It’s described as “the cold-blooded fire.”

As Zuko’s character progresses throughout the series, he becomes haunted by the colors red and blue. The first major instance comes after he frees Appa, a selfless act that doesn’t benefit him in any way. It apparently shocks even him so much that he becomes ill and falls into a feverish sleep, where he dreams that he is the Fire Lord sitting upon the throne. Two dragons, one red, one blue, hover nearby. The blue dragon speaks with Azula’s voice and tempts him, telling him to sleep, to rest. The red dragon speaks in Iroh’s voice. It warns him not to listen to the blue dragon and tells Zuko that he must get out of there. The scene begins to crumble, and the blue dragon lunges for him. My personal interpretation of this scene is that the blue dragon represents the royal family—Zuko’s “destiny” to return to the Fire Nation and take the throne. The blue dragon tells him to sleep, to accept his destiny, while the red one encourages him to break free of the cycle perpetuated by the royal family.

This is supported by another scene with two dragons later in the narrative. In the episode The Avatar and the Fire Lord, Zuko goes below the royal palace to the archives where the history of the royal family is stored. The episode covers the history of Fire Lord Sozin and Avatar Roku and the background of Sozin’s imperialistic goals. We learn that Sozin and Roku were once friends, but had a falling out over Sozin’s ambitions. Despite this, Sozin returns to help Roku when the volcano on Roku’s home island erupts.

What does Sozin arrive on but a blue dragon.

The two fight the volcano together, and appear to be winning, but as they try to escape, Roku takes a blast of poisonous air to the face, and falls to his knees, begging Sozin to help him.

Sozin refuses, saying that with Roku gone, his plans will finally be possible. He flies away on his blue dragon, leaving Roku for dead. Roku’s dragon, Fang, who is red and often appears in visions to help the current Avatar, Aang, curls protectively around Roku as the hot ash consumes them.

Iroh then reveals to Zuko that, while Sozin was his great grandfather on his father’s side, so was Avatar Roku, on his mother’s side. If Zuko’s previous fever dream was any indication, he already knows he’s capable of breaking free of the cycle, but has been using his “destiny” as an excuse why he can’t. He’s destined for the throne. He’s destined to continue the cycle. But now Iroh tells him, if Sozin was a part of his destiny, then too, was the Avatar. And now, Zuko must confront the idea that he has a choice, that he always has, and that his destiny to rule and continue the cycle of violence is an idea of his own making.

When Zuko later confronts Ozai in Day of Black Sun, his choice is solidified, not just by his words as he confronts his father, but visually, as he redirects a shot of blue lightning meant to kill him.

The red and blue dragons also get one final appearance before the big showdown. Zuko finds that after joining the Avatar, his firebending is weaker, as it was once fueled by rage and anger and his drive was chasing the Avatar, which he has now lost. When Zuko and Aang go to the Sun Warriors to unlock the secrets of firebending, they must be judged by the two masters. Up until the moment of confrontation, neither Zuko nor Aang realize that “the masters” are two dragons, since the last dragons were thought to have been hunted to extinction by none other than the royal family.

When Zuko and Aang confront the dragons, they are judged for their worthiness. These two visual symbols, which have been haunting Zuko for the past season and a half, accept his change of heart and encircle Zuko and Aang in multicolored flames, colors Zuko has never seen and couldn’t even imagine. Zuko then says:

“I understand.”

This could be interpreted in a variety of ways, but mine is that Zuko still had doubts about whether or not he was doing the right thing until this moment (or else, wouldn’t his firebending still be working?). He wasn’t totally committed yet. When he sees so many colors dancing among the flames, the big “secret” he understands is harmony. His destiny is to bring harmony and balance back to the world, the red and blue dragons, the Avatar and the Fire Lord, working in tandem to accomplish it. He accepts this as his new drive and motivation, allowing him to firebend again.

By the time Zuko and Azula finally meet for their final showdown, the red/blue struggle within Zuko is long established and all but resolved. The only thing that remains is the externalization of the struggle: him, represented by red, vs. Azula, represented by blue. Zuko has accepted his change in destiny and aligned himself with the Avatar. Azula has not, and remains a representation of the royal family, of the status quo.

And then, we get the most visually striking fight in the whole series.

I really don’t know what else to tell you. This scene is so iconic because it’s been built up to with this color symbolism over the past two seasons. It’s satisfying to watch. It’s beautifully animated. 

It ends with Azula getting one last shot of blue lightning, which up until now was believed to be an instant kill shot. The monarchy’s last ditch shot to bring Zuko down with it. But Zuko throws himself in front of Katara, taking it head on. It should have killed him, but Katara saves him. Azula is defeated, Zuko survives, and he lives to bring balance back to a world divided by war.

And when Zuko finally gets his own dragon, what color is it?

Red.

And there you have it, folks! There are some other scenes that could be color analyzed, but this is getting pretty long, so I’m going to end it here. Thanks for reading!

#avatar #atla #avatar the last airbender #zuko #azula #fire siblings #fire nation #atla meta

[feelingpoorly]

Life lesson: avoid expired egg noodles

So I usually post whiny attention seeking shit like this on my insta bc even tho my kink does not apply to me at all, in some weird way complaining about how ill and knowing people would see it still kinda turns me on a little

But I figured what better place to whine about it here instead since, idk this is kinda what this blog is for

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So we went to the shop last night and got a bunch of food from the reduced section. We do this fairly regularly cuz the expired food is so cheap and it’s usually fine if you eat it same day

Well I learnt my lesson lol. Amongst one of the things we got a couple packs of fresh egg noodles in some sauce. I didn’t really like them, but store bought is never gonna be as good as the real thing anyway right?

I was snacking on some cereal at like midnight, having eaten these noodles at like 7. I noticed that I was getting pretty severe stomach pain in the top of my stomach. It was weird and I didn’t really understand why. However I had taken some prescription painkillers earlier that day and although I take a different medication with them to try and stop this happening, they can have a habit of wrecking my stomach and giving me a tummy ache. I thought it was weird, since I definitely HAD remembered to take them with the other med this time, but whatever

Anyway I woke up this morning, we were going out to meet up with some of my partners friends for coffee. I immediately realised I felt bloated as hell, like painfully so. I figured it would pass once I was up and moving around.

It did not.

It pretty quickly progressed into pretty severe stomach cramps, to the point where every time I stood up, it would cramp so hard I couldn’t stop myself from kinda curling over and wincing. At that point I was starting to worry something was actually wrong and I wasn’t just a bit bloated.

I quite quickly started feeling pretty sick, and that’s panic territory for me, being emetophobic. I took a dissolvable anti sickness tablet, but the nausea combined with the horrible cramping made me feel very unwell. I really felt awful and sick and at that point I had to say to my partner, if I say I don’t feel well please can you just take me home. I didn’t know how I was gonna cope sitting in a coffee shop feeling like this. When the cramps hit I was in a lot of pain. Bearing in mind I live with chronic pain, I’m not a baby about pain, but this was the kind of pain that you just wince voluntarily and I couldn’t hide it.

Thankfully the anti sickness meds kicked in, and after sitting down for a while the nausea and the cramps settled down a bit to the point where I was no longer freaking out about being ill in public. I should probably add here that on the way there in the car, my stomach was making some really upset sounding deep rumbling gurgles. Like it didn’t sound good. The kinda gurgles that only come with being sick. I didn’t feel well enough to have a drink or anything to eat which probably looked a little suss. Later on a got just a bottle of lemonade hoping it would settle my stomach but when I sipped it, it just make it worse and my stomach started cramping again.

Skip to being home this evening, I’d thought the worse was over and I’d been feeling kinda ok. I had some light dinner, and what a fucking bad idea that was lol.

Im not having the intermittent intense cramps anymore but like, now my whole stomach feels bloated af again and I have like this sharp cramping pain kinda all over, both upper and lower stomach with just no relief. I’m so bloated my stomach is sticking out but there’s no relief from it at all. Holding my stomach helps but I feel so embarrassed so I’ve tried to hide it and only rub my tummy when my partner went to sleep.

What makes it worse, is that up until this point I had no idea what caused any of this. But when we got home, there was an absolutely rancid smell in the kitchen that smelt like off, rotting food. It was absolutely foul. It almost even smelt like vomit, and just smelling it made my nausea kick off all over again.

It was the leftover noodles. And let me tell you, they smelt pungent as FUCK. I literally ate those last night, and they smell that bad today? No wonder I’ve felt ill. I have that shit in my stomach. Even after my partner bagged up the leftovers, sealed it and put it in the bin, just the PLATE they were on is still emitting this foul smell, it’s just awful

Eating dinner was a bad choice, because now I just feel worse again. I don’t feel that sick anymore, probably because of the meds, but my stomach feels horrible again. I’m in so much pain, I can’t suck my tummy in at all with how sore and bloated and painful it is. I feel like an absolutely pathetic self indulgent lil bitch but I literally just went to make myself a hot water bottle to hold to my tummy as I try and sleep, because it hurts and this is not fun. I just want some relief, and currently nothing else is helping. As I’m lying here holding my tummy with one hand and holding the hot water bottle on it with the other, it’s gurgling and glugging really loudly sickly again and it just feels awful. I can literally feel it in my insides, and with the way it feels I just really hope it doesn’t all come back up again, probably still along with the undigested noodles from last night if the way I’m feeling is anything to go by 🥺

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Anyway, I just came here to complain about it in way too much detail lmao. Hopefully someone enjoys my misery. As I said, although it’s embarrassing as hell, somehow the thought of other people knowing or being sympathetic etc is also kinda hot

If anyone wants to use my sorry ass as fic inspo then ofc you have my blessing lmao. In fact, if you do, PLEASE let me know as I’d love to read it haha

Anyway, off to moan quietly to myself and hold the hot water bottle on my aching tummy now x

#sickfic #emeto #emetophilia #emeto kink #sickfic ideas #sickfic prompt #emeto blog #sick #irl sickfic #food poisoning #irl tummy ache #tummy ache #irl emeto #emeto storytime

[culttonotfollow]

Why I love “Hellblade: Senua’s Sacrifice” so much

So as I stated, I'm writing a post about my experience with this game and why I think it's as good as it is, including my favourite aspects of it. To this day it's my favourite game and one of the few I've managed to 100% complete.

This post is going to include spoilers. Do not read if you do not want spoilers.

Disclaimer out of the way, I actually want to start by saying that before this game was recommended to me by a friend (thank you, Markus- shout out to you), I had no idea what it was about other than the fact that it dealt in some way with mental health. I mostly forgot about it until I saw it on sale sometime in October (it might have been the Halloween sale), at which point I made the decision to purchase it.

To begin with, the visuals are stunning—beautiful and terrifying at the same time. And just to get mechanics out of the way so I can ramble about the story and the way it made me feel—some of the puzzles are challenging at first, but they are so rewarding after you figure them out that I almost didn't mind the difficulty. The fighting feels almost perfect, particularly with the autobalancing option.

The premise of the game is that Senua, a Celtic warrior with severe mental illness, sets out on a journey to the homeland of the Northmen after discovering what had happened to her lover, planning to enter Helheilm, the mythological land of the dead, or what would be considered hell, and retrieving his soul through bargaining with Hela (or Hel, as she's more commonly known). Throughout the entire game- with the exception of a segment in the story- she wears his skull on her belt, wrapped in a cloth.

The Game uses sound to mess with you??

The game throws you right in with whispers bouncing all around your head (even during the menu when you first open the game)- I will never not applaud Ninja Theory for their choice of using binaural sound (here is an article by Splice on what it is), otherwise it wouldn't be what it is. This is one of the few experiences where the classic "Best experienced with headphones" recommendation should be taken seriously.

As you paddle past, well, burnt, staked and hung corpses that don't make it less tense either, the voices get progressively louder and more erratic until you don't know how many there are anymore or where they're coming from, urging Senua to turn back or calling her a coward in many different ways- with the exception of a few, who actually argue with the others and encourage Senua to push on.

There have been moments when the voices stopped for a little while, but by the time I realized there was nothing in the background anymore except for my own racing thoughts, I was already somewhat uneasy.

To add on to that, one of the trials Senua goes through relies solely on intuition an hearing to get throught the darkness safely, with an extremely limited field of view. I can safely say that was when I was most terrified and hyperfocused in my 12 hours of gameplay. I have to admit after my first run I went to bed and the whispers were still there because of how much I was hearing them the past several hours.

Mindfuckery taken to the next level

I spent the majority of the game in awe, watching the story unfold in front of my eyes. A lot of games or franchises, in my opinion, struggle to make their characters feel human, but Hellblade managed to do it. Even equipped with a sword, I felt vurnelable at all times, the game does a great job at causing anxiety even during the most mundane moments.

There isn't a combat tutorial of any kind; you have to either figure out the "guide" is in the menu, or keep failing the first battle until you figure it out. The game actually only gives you a single prompt in regards to combat: Each time you fail (die), the rot on Senua's arm spreads, and when it reaches her head all progress is lost. This alone made me so much more conscious of every move I was making for over half the game, until I learned the truth.

It's not an actual mechanic, it's only put in place as a warning to add another thick layer of tension to every other already existing, anxiety inducing element of the game, and further enforce the game's primary goal of distorting your perception: what's real and what's not, what/who can you actually trust, what is the truth? It brought me anxiety to the point where it was borderline uncomfortable, and that's exactly why I loved it so much.

I spent the majority of this game in awe, just watching the story unfold. Every twist or reveal felt like a gut punch (in the best way I could mean this), and it made Senua (the girl you play as) feel human, something not a lot of games can do properly in my opinion. This game uses everything in its arsenal to create a truly dreadful experience: visuals, audio, light, combat, etc. without abusing jumpscares or scary monsters (although fighting Fenrir scared the ever loving hell out of me, but so did dealing with him in general). Rather, it capitalizes on its strongest suit: the childlike fear of what lies in the dark- what might occur if the dark really does take control.

The ending made me question my entire purpose (sort of)

It's going to sound weird, or insane, but the ending changed me as a person I think. It made me seriously reconsider some major things in my life, and take a moment to appreciate some others. It's both some sort of psychological torture or terror and an enlightening experience. It brought me to tears and left me completely speechless for what felt- and actually was- hours.

In its own very special and well done way, it's not strictly a game about a girl that's gone mad, or a quest about retrieving a soul, but it sucessfully and sensibly touches upon themes of grief, loss, and folklore. I can safely say I've never been more immersed or touched by a game on every single level. There are tens of memorable moments that I think back on, and I can't believe I got through every single one of these.

The ending took a twist for me. It was far from what I expected, but I think that's what made me as satisfied as it did- and yet it left me wanting even more. Which is why I'm so incredibly pumped for when the sequel comes out. Despite warning about spoilers, I won't actually say how it ended. I'll let whoever reads this discover for themselves one way or another.

Conclusion?

I recommend this game with my whole heart to whoever can handle these kinds of topics. It's beautiful, the story is heartbreaking, the gameplay is fun, and the visuals are beyond gorgerous.

#game review #hellblade #senua #hellblade: senua's sacrifice #ninja theory #gaming #video game review #i love this game so much oh my god #hellblade brainrot #hellblade 2 #im so excited for the sequel holy shit holy shit