#assault on reality

[deltarebelsandpaper]

AKEPHALOS

DEATH TO FASCISM

BECOME UNGOVERNABLE

#chaos magick #art #magick #occult #occult art #anarchy #anarchism #georges bataille #acéphale #dkmu #assault on reality

[rexalogy]

the body is the first and only thing that really belongs to us. obviously: our body is what allows us to the experience the world. when you control how a body is viewed by the zeitgeist you control a whole populations experience. For this the caricature is an unforgivable violence

#this is why the novice art tutorials that teach you how to design body types according to personality and gender is black magic to me #this is why conservatives feel transhood is an assault to their mental schemas they believe that their perception of others bodies should #inform reality #and they are already supported by institutions that do so

[lesbianrobin]

Seeing as it's Black History Month, I'm gonna take a break from your regularly scheduled girlblogging to be a film nerd and beg every single person reading this post to go and watch Within Our Gates (1920).

Within Our Gates is a feature-length silent film written and directed by black filmmaker Oscar Micheaux and it is a miracle that we have it today. The film was believed to be lost for years until a SINGLE surviving print was found in Spain, translated back into English, and recut to match the original as closely as possible. (This is actually not uncommon in the realm of old film a lot of lost films get found in random closets but ANYWAY.) The film tells the story of Sylvia, a southern schoolteacher who travels up north to raise money to keep her school open. It explores how her life and family have been affected by racism, abuse, and sexual violence, as she falls in love, works to save her school, and grapples with her place as a black woman in the antebellum south. If that's not enough to get you interested, the film is also kinda batshit. There are shootouts! Affairs! Someone gets hit by a car! It's wild and dramatic and incredibly engaging.

You've heard of Birth of a Nation, right? Maybe you've even seen it. That insanely racist piece of film history premiered in 1915. Oftentimes people will defend D.W. Griffith and the film itself as being "a product of its time." Well, Within Our Gates premiered in 1920, and it is a product of its time. It depicts white mob violence against black Americans, and how that violence destroys innocent lives and rips families apart. It is written and directed by a black man. All of its lead actors are black. It is an absolutely heart-wrenching, moving, and intelligent film, produced on a shoestring budget, that explores what it meant not only to be a black American in 1920, but what it meant to be a black woman. Different characters have different approaches to coping with racism and strategies for protecting themselves. It's complicated, and upsetting, and one of the most impactful films I've ever seen.

If you can spare an hour and twenty minutes, if you happen to have access to the film through a streaming service (in addition to being FREE ON YOUTUBE, I believe it's on Amazon Prime, Paramount+, MGM+, and some Hulu plans) or an institution (you may have access to Kanopy or a similar platform via your local library or university), it's worth a watch. Play whatever music you want in the background if your version doesn't have any added! Even if you can't watch it for whatever reason, I'd encourage all of you to look into Oscar Micheaux and the history of "race films," films created outside of the Hollywood studio system by and for black Americans.

Don't buy into the false narrative that the only black representation in historical film was minstrelsy and Griffith-style garbage.

#em talks #history #film history #black history #i hope it's like ok for me to make this post as a white lady i'm just very passionate ab film history #and within our gates is an incredible film that deserves so much more noteriety than it has #i feel like people try to act like The Past was uniformly racist and that's just how things were #when the reality is that just like today people fought for their rights and made art and debated different philosophies of liberation #oh also the film can be very disturbing like many many trigger warnings for various forms of violence and assault #but that's part of what makes it so meaningful the fact that it does not shy away from reality yknow #and for 1920... god it's just so so good

[randum-famdoms]

JK Rowling’s books are a building. And she stopped after creating shitty, waterlogged, deeply structurally unsound bluebrints and half the scaffolding. Then left it to the elements (aka her Twitter), damaging it nearly beyond repair.

And the fandom looked at this, and put on hard hats. And they tore down that scaffolding, and took those blueprints and changed it into something that would work, and they built the most beautiful building you’ve ever seen.

The building JK Rowling designed was deeply flawed, it would never pass inspection, it would collapse under its own weight and lack of structural integrity within seconds of being built. The aesthetic design was tragic and hideous and offensive. But the fans looked at all of that, and said to themselves, “this building is fucked up, it will never be good if left like this, and everything about it is terrible and makes zero sense. But goddamnit, I have trauma and I can fix it because it must be done and no one else will.”

JK Rowling may have designed that original building. She may have had the initial idea. She may have built that unfinished scaffolding. She may have drawn those blueprints.

But this building is no longer JK Rowling’s.

#harry potter #jk rowling #this rant brought to you by someone who can and will go to jail for aggravated assault of jk rowling #people say her worldbuilding is good even if the books aren’t #newsflash: a lot of the best worldbuilding in Harry Potter is just headcannons we have forgotten are not in he books #we took her scraps and we made them great #but to her the scraps are enough. to her the scraps are what are great #when in reality the scraps are the part that stop Harry Potter from being great #in reality the characters are one dimensional #in reality hogwarts never faces consequences for the child endangerment #in reality dumbledore is a manipulative and evil fraud #in reality the house elves are abused and only dobby is saved #in reality Snape is an incel and abuses children #in reality dumbledore knowingly left Harry to be abused by his aunt and uncle and sent him back every summer #in reality remus lupin never went to see Harry as a child and never spoke to him after third year beyond the order of the Phoenix #in reality Sirius only broke out of prison to kill worm tail and even if he cared for Harry he stayed in prison for twelve years #never trying to escape #and he may have had reasons but we do not know them #we never get depth for the characters who deserve it #we get depth for an incel of a potions teacher #Draco Malfoy is one of the most fleshed out characters and he’s still a piece of cardboard it just has shitty crayon scribbles of colour #we think the character have personality but it’s just flashes of it filled in by the great acting in the movies #we think the books have worldbuilding and fleshed out character arcs when really it’s just nostalgia and headcannons we think are real #THE BUILDING IS NOT JK ROWLING’S. THE BUILDING IS OURS. #randum thots

[dennisboobs]

everyone saying some shit about "maybe it's the macdennis brainrot, but--" about the bryan/aaron mac/dennis parallels. i promise it's not you reading too far into things, it was 100% intentional. and i'm not saying this as a "brain rotted shipper" i'm saying this as the bitch who has been yelling BECAUSE of the "brain rotted shippers" for the past week and a half.

#that was the entire point of the episode u guys #my fear is that now with this revelation everyone will lean into 'evil mac' too far like they have been with dennis but #yes. dennis has the victim here for a While. thats what ive been saying shsjfbfjjdks #and i dont think mac is *entirely* aware. i think he does things selfishly and ends up hurting den #but once again. he has been sexually assaulting dennis for SEASONS. #they both hurt each other #mac plays dumb but does everything he wants to do regardless #dennis thinks he's in control but in reality is the one being harassed and manipulated #its been like this for a fucking while #im just glad we have confirmation that mac's knowingly doing it now #ada speaks

[spaciebabie]

following springtrap Into The Bowels of a fazbear establishment (he told you not to but you did anyway) and him having to protect you when you encounter something dangerous. is this anything

STOP MAKING NME IMAGINE NARRATIVES IN MY HEAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YOU'RE GIVING ME IDEAS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

#spacie splains #SMACKS YOU OVER THJE HAD WITH A NEWSPAPER #literally the only thing keeping me sane is remembering thatg if springtrap was aware of my existence he would NOT like me #JUHDGKJHDSFHDSFLJKGDSJFG #GIVE MYSELF A REALITY CHECK EVERYONCE IN AWHIL #TA FEND OFF THE EMOTIONS I FEEL RGULARLY #EVERYDAY #I WAS SITTING IN MY DIFFERNTIAL EQUATIONS CLASS AND ALL OF TH SUDDEN WAS ASSAULTED WITH ''oh my god i need 2 have sex with him'' THOUGHTS #FOR THE RESR OF CLASS #I COULD BARELY CONCENTRATE #GOOD LORD DUDEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE #ta answer your question yes this is something. #sprringtrap caring about....m yOU I CANT SAY ME AHAHAHAHHAHA LAUGHS NERVOUSLY #THAT MAKES IT REAL

[persephoneflouwers]

#does anybody care what he has to say? #free Palestine #Israel is ‘delaying his assault on Gaza’ only to wait for US troops to arrive #you know when US got their army back from Afghanistan #I was like mmh weird. what’s the next war they are going to join now? #I thought it would have been Ukraine #but they can’t shit with Russia lmao #so yeah this is the one #welcome to 2001 #Islamophobia makes me sick #hate on religion makes me sick #because wtf are you hating somebody else for? a god that u don’t even know if exists? get a reality check ASAP #palestine #us politics #war criminals

[aroha-scape]

#reality #if reality was like #ventcore #tw ventcore #vent post #tw vent #death #depression #tw suicide #tw assault #tw depressing thoughts #tw death #tw depression

[the-acid-pear]

why is the OITNB wikia so funny

#luly talks #i was remembering this scene and opened the wikia of dina to check if i had my facts straight and i guess i did #it doesnt mention the everyone believing pip assaulted a disabled child bc it was more of a joke not a reality but i remember

[tankshaw]

something something online purity culture something something demonizing things that are not at all morally wrong something something lots of people enjoy darker romances iN FICTION something something fighting invisible demons

#**** ******** ******* ***** #literally get a grip on reality ffs #ITS NOT EVEN AN ASSAULT???? #hush literally ties up doc cause he was didn’t know if they’d get in the way of his mission lmfaoo #like its okay to not like that content nobody is forcing you to watch it #but you not liking it doesn’t mean its morally wrong #*taps the sign* you can just not like things and move on with your life #discourse #negativity

[suncaptor]

hope is just more dangerous than the reality it imagines away from.

#incoherents #I've spent the last half decade making plans in crisis and accepting the reality if illness and new trauma #but in some ways the only thing that can truly get to me is hope #but I also think the way I am so so terrified of it because I don't want to be delusional or calamitious or unprepared #it might be one of the most damaging ways I live my life #but it's not just losing a sense of safety i never should have ever let myself have #got even thinking about it is like the closest to reality i don't understand after everything how its still so true #but it's everything #every time i even try to scaffold a plan it's crisis after crisis and to survive i have to expect nothing. theres pandemics and severe #illnesses and homelessness and strikes and assault and even more illnesses and there's nothing in the ENTIRE world i can rely on #i am sick and I just want to rest and feel safe until i am able to heal and learn to hope again #but i was too dangerous to have ever have let myself. and I think my time just ran out

[actual-sleeping-beauty]

Sometimes what you have to do to maintain your sanity is watch your silly little Aaron Sorkin show that is at the same time wildly reductive of conservatives' concerns, manages to humanize conservatives more than any other liberal media, and pretends all liberals are saints.

#sometimes you do this and wonder if perhaps in 1999 this was closer to reality #how would you know? #you came of age in the era of whatever the fuck we have going on now #you were fourteen and learned that a man can crow about sexually assaulting women #and still be elected to the highest office #and that his opponent lost because she was a woman #anyway

[unproduciblesmackdown]

take 4: the tension (gulf spanned with incomplete, continuously crumbling bridges) between the perspective of oneself as the Deservingly Epic Winner Protagonist Person who dares to be Out Of Line versus the need to actually completely stay in line within this b/c it hinges on being in harmony with the preexisting hierarchies which will supposedly reward the "merit" of this Actor. while everyone whose existence is Inferior, according to the hierarchies, is defined by being Out Of Line, which these same people resent & respond to, also Staying In Line with the hierarchy, by trying to reinforce the dynamics of these inferior / superior groupings. "everything pathologized about the inferior groups / rejected as what's Wrong with their existence so as to "cause" these dynamics is "take 4" b/c this is from me trying to write about winston quant kid 2 billions like holy shit a series operating on this logic huh, giving this unvarnished expression of this perspective b/c it's assuming (& requiring...) we all have it. winston is constantly responded to as Guy Who's Out Of Line. the "superior" parties who hate him & get to have him as their punching bag / hit with the butt of the joke / at least ignored & excluded, but taken advantage of, but who all have to Stay In Line, how's that going for them even when it comes to the writing, where characters can't do anything if it's too disruptive of the In Universe hierarchy, unless it's a finale zone for a permissable shakeup, where ppl insulating/supporting each other being a bit Out Of Line is not a problem b/c they individually recognize each other's transcendently True worthiness in thee objective hierarchy we all assume exists, but definitely can never disrupt the out of universe hierarchy, e.g. the show decides wendy is the true hero, b/c she deserves to be. taylor has to hire back dollar bill & stand back while wags & wendy take the lead & the spotlight & hate the autistic guy they hired & show up so the Winner, who was written into the show with nothing to do but tell taylor they're not quite as good as wendy & then provide a vagina amidst otherwise being an Everyemployee who fails to even differentiate from an Axe Cap style everyemployee, can announce their winningness detached from anything that actually happened ever.

counterpart to winston's departure needing an audience of people to stand there & stay in line, which on that side of the same coin meant punishing his Out Of Lineness that doesn't even act like anyone bothered to think of [this is one particular preexisting guy. you thought he liked scifi once before you lost interest in even suggesting he has interests, though, will roland likes scifi, will roland wore his own open buttonup as quant kid 2 that'd define the Look, will roland happened to have the facial hair just kept for production b/c who would care, will roland brought the entire je ne sais quoi acting interpretation that made quant kid 2 go from "out of line guy we kill once" to "out of line guy we keep around to kill all thee time until finale 'haha but seriously though' material means pushing him out of the way in s6 & then s7 alike" like hmm] like everyone just spitballed "annoying things! cringe loser things! things that would never happen to me, a deserving winner!!" & put it in as easter eggs as though that would even make sense, much less [you have no other priority?] but like. rian's sendoff didn't do any better for acting like she's a specific character who's said & done things we're meant to remember & have thought about then & now. taylor didn't get to have resolution with philip. they Had to have resolution with wendy that, again, has nothing to do with any/everything prior, except perhaps to contradict it. this is what anyone got for Staying In Line like superior winners. the autistic [annoying arrogant inferior undeserving etc] Out Of Lineness that would be so supposedly admired instead seen as pure Other shit that's projected upon ppl so as to Reject it thusly. couldn't be me!! i'm a winner who will always have Superior ranking in the hierarchy & treated accordingly!!! i Must be!!!! like i must Kill people who seem to be disrupting this, even by acting like a person who assumes they're equal to me despite being Different. there all along like wow winston existing Out Of Line is so powerful. he can harmonize with & support taylor so well b/c they're introduced as being so Out Of Line, up to the inevitable point of breaking out & starting their own thing entirely!!! but while it's like, okay yeah, you Have to reel them back in by thwarting them b/c otherwise they break so far from central men's orbit they exit the series or you have to put Them at the center (imagine...) (plus! the role winston plays in them getting as close to this as they ever can be!) but then in the end taylor's just shortchanged b/c when it comes time to take down a central man as thee main thing all season, series finale style, they should be knocking it out in a few episodes with sacker & philip. instead we focus on wendy given the helm & fucking around all season. after disposing of winston b/c who even needs him for anything, this is Stay In Line times, and to do that we can do nothing w/autistic people but hate them & punish them for being undeserving. but don't worry b/c he doesn't get to be so Out Of Line as to easily cause problems for them & thwart them, b/c he just doesn't. taylor waits around on wendy & tells her she's the best b/c they just do. we are all in line on all of this ourselves so whew, there's no Disruption to notice if that key Alignment is maintained. rian was never holding herself Above winston if we just really tentatively suggest she doesn't think that she was, while letting every double standard at play be acted out. rian being "out of line" was that she wasn't being aggressive enough about any of her Superiority, b/c if you didn't leave bruising then nothing was That Bad; cue the assaults and boundary violations Reserved for the inferior losers as fun times & nothing anyone is beholden to with Consequences, we don't even make the viewer stick with the consequences of how it affects the target a second too long, lest you start to think it's Drama & not Jokes.

anyways it's all about the [categorization as inferior Other based on an assumed Hierarchy = inherently defined as Out Of Line] all "why get a formal diagnosis from a professional who doesn't know what to look for when at age 5 my peers went 'something's wrong with this one' & acted 'accordingly'" like even when people "know" what's Wrong with someone to make them the odd one out / "incompatible" w/what makes others exist Right, it's time to interpret everything else about them as "backing that up" no matter what, certainly no matter if it involves theoretically Valued concepts, b/c it's all first & foremost Staying In Line with the hierarchy, where the correct way to do things is: if you Can push someone else into greater vulnerability while you're established as Insulated, you Do. tl;dr winston inherently continuously Out Of Line; being "superior" requires an ultimate (&/or also quite Immediate. especially when it comes to "simple" matters already "correctly" arranged in the supposed Objective Hierarchy, like: winston's "objectively" inferiority (autistic swag)) Staying In Line. and what comes of it. all the most engaging & complex shit when people get to not actually stay in line. the power of it if taylor & tmc & allies didn't have to ultimately be shoved into Staying In Line even when it means wendy is the best & oh who cares about taylor & philip when wags is around etc etc. if winston being someone Out Of Line was seen as relevant & not an easy nonstop joke. while a quant who is so In Line as to correctly personally abuse him even more than others are doing is so ""out of line"" as to decide she's already gotten everything she wants & may as well live the dream now, b/c she's not an aggressive man, one has to suppose, same diff as wendy getting to believe she's Better than everyone & is nobly in charge of orchestrating their fates when she Means & Knows so well, & is somehow pitted against prince being this same figure but without having to confront that fact. he's mean! or whatever. he's talking about killing people & wendy isn't so that sorts it out forever. "abuse your local autists; it's funny & their fault & consequenceless b/c they're not real people" is also harmonious with all our ideas. edgy rulebreaking bold independent Out of Line heroes completely in accord w/the established hierarchies. & those whose existence threatening peership disrupts it who are written off losers who could never upend those heroes' goings on. everyone Actually being peers is unimagineable, not as a figure of speech. we do not imagine it, what are you even talking about. now for the Merited Hierarchy to be acted out as arranged, which is fun, god i wish that were me. Independent Agents ascending it only!! & people who Cheat to get in like loser nerds w/their math, b/c they can't Deserve it. now to keep insisting that everyone else could just be On My Level if they tried, while also responding violently if it seems like weirdos / ppl who aren't Supposed to be here are infringing on my level (the only violence is physical strikes that made contact, & perhaps killed you)

anyways just another installment of [fake fans haunted by billions, & other things which are in real life, such as the fictional series billions] musings i have to excise at all b/c [this was take 4]. winston Out Of Line. superior correct winners who have to Stay In Line at related great costs despite the supposed associated wins of that. his autistic swag. knowing ppl Are different autism style b/c they're "out of line." encountering irl autistic people without realizing it & repeatedly writing "this nerd guy is just So annoying ugh!! he's just like weird & doing everything wrong for no reason & won't just Be Normal or Shut Up & Go Away!! but at least his intractible arrogant cluelessness also means we have fun punishing & taking advantage of him" Type butt of jokes into things. those cringe loser Insistently Annoying Weirdo nerds who we all find insufferable & punish, we all know them, inherent Inferior Other Out Of Line that they are. now it's a Guy we all hate & enjoy seeing suffer & Understand as a less deserving less [person] just dropped into the periphery of this fiction. he will easily be thwarted from an alliance with the [person designed to be Out of Line in a way that Is considered Legitimate] that would let them shatter the limits of the series in 5 sec which we're also holding them back by the scruff of the neck to prevent anyways while pushing forward ppl supposed to be even More correct b/c uh um they're a little more Normal, & perhaps even Women, who are innately more caring & gentle. there they go hurting those around them as much as they can, with nothing stopping them at all, but they're using their inside voices & not issuing physical threats so that's what i'm talking about. that is heroic, vs the villainous efforts to navigate life as though everyone will respect them as a fellow person which Autists egregiously pull, to which you can do anything you want to Reject this. maybe even decide you wanna personally use them. isn't that nice of you. no, we don't know what to do with the "this guy won't stop acting like he gets to think he's a person" but eventually send him away after the dozen trampled boundaries to punish him for fun b/c what else was the point of him? anyways don't worry i saw the autistic swag. the nonbinary swag it didn't even know was there. the nonbinary swag it knew was there but held back by the scruff of the neck b/c all billions' most engaging, potential filled characters are the ones Held Back b/c they're threatening too much [out of line] / their out of Lineness must be contained; vs everyone perfectly in line who keeps being pushed in front of them no matter what b/c uhhh.

let's go Out of Line gang. continual inevitable Disruption of the norm(tm). like even just standing there vs "oh immediately i fucking Hate this guy." billions where anyone considers winston for 5 sec would also shatter apart. taylor would be too powerful even more than they already are if they didn't have to stay wendy's sidekick no matter what. rian who didn't have to come back from the hiatus even more "right" than they presumably intended her to always be (bound to thee hierachy / actually always Staying In Line. if she's out of it, psych, actually that was just a correction of the "objective" hierarchal order waiting to reconfigure itself around the situation). standing around waiting like okay but the payoff that Could happen....okay still time though lol....well here we are

the fundamentalness of the Out Of Lineness. quantessential....send post

#another [mentally pacing while writing out the saga] moment #winston billions #it's all about the Out Of Line.... #b/c it's all about the hierarchy; & the fact that it's People beneath you = forever being in conflict w/Reality being ''out of line'' #this person talking & taking up space & breathing & Appearing & Behaving & Acting & [Autonomous]ing....no. no!!!!!!! #tmc just so happened to be Weird except also mafee is there but he's too not ''aggressive'' enough for axe cap. or is he!! not that much #all while even in peak tmc times....thee hierarchy! we Hate winston & Will all act accordingly to keep him inferior(tm) #we'll also use him. but not include him as a peer when we can help it. or even acknowledge a ''value'' for having found him Useful(tm) #just like wow really didn't think at all about winston besides [he IS out of line!!!]. ppl can do all That to him & not have it questioned #like hey so long as maybe you do it without....well they did also physically assault him in the end so really no limits obviously #the make or break context? his autistacity means well he deserves it from anyone #whereas if some of those ppl do some of those things to Winners w/the same goal to punish & hurt & coerce? hmm bit messed up #it's not double standards when you objectively buy into it right. if winston was a Good Enough Real Enough person we'd all Love him #however we just all immediately recognize a weird little autistic loser & that's all that is relevant forever somehow! hmm! #most ''out of line'' billions characters unleashed....we deserved this #what a coincidence that at the high points of this; like say; Kompenso; winston is treated the best!! 4x12!! Hmm!!! #irrelevant i said. nothing to see here like there's nothing inside him but Cringe Wrongness. scene over! series over! autists are Others #they power down in nooks & crannies & stop imitating Real People words & deeds when we're not looking so just do whatever #that Whatever means finding it rewarding to go after them & assert power=superior status over them? epic Normal shit. what else is there #rhetorical!! stop answering about like ''nobody's life & existence treated as Less'' #but at what cost? oh so a really epic man can't like pwn people now?? perhaps an epic Woman? all cishet agenda style btw? hell

[stupid-sloot-headcanons]

Finished the Forget-Me-Not substory and not only am I so sad for Ichiban (he says he's never had luck with the ladies and the ONE time a girl says she loves him, she's a ghost and/or hallucination 🥺) but I'm starting to wonder...does Ichiban have some kind of issues with delusion?

Like this substory isn't the only time that he's seen things other people don't; every single battle when the enemies and the party transform, Ichiban is seeing all that, but the other party members don't know what Ichiban's talking about when he says the people they fought suddenly transformed.

#.yakuza #.like a dragon #.ichiban #sloot plays #imagining a joker (2019) situation where he just entirely hallucinates a relationship with someone he just. like. met once or twice #or an s/o that he perceives as being in danger from someone trying to hurt or assault them and in reality its someone just being friendly

[phoenixcatch7]

Having been on several fanfic sites for several years, I can hands down GUARANTEE you that anything 'classic media' has done, fanfic has done better.

#This is not hyperbole I am 100% serious #“I wish there was a book or show where *insert thing that happened in a fanfic I read at midnight*” #Anything. Anything from weird puns to comprehensive and in depth analyses of the human condition #I see people gushing about the 'groundbreaking ideas' and 'awesome concepts' they read about and I'm just like #Do you want that with a dash of gay found family hurt/comfort or a heaping of misogyny #Once I read some shmancy prim article discussing the use of themes in some famous classical text I'd read and like. #Off the top of my head I listed three fics that had done it without the unexpected and unappreciated assault scene partway through the book #At least fic authors TAG #Ao3s filter system and the increasing lack of blurbs on books has ruined me for normal reading activities #I get a book for Christmas or something and I look at it and there are no archive warnings or desc or additional tags #No word count chapter count nothing #Anyway this is about how fanfic is a superior media to the competitive publishing industry of today and if a fic makes enough readers cry #It should get automatically added to the literary canon #Makes one feel more emotion than I did with the school assigned reading and there's SIGNIFICANTLY LESS chance of untagged 18+ stuff #ao3 #Long tags #I did my final project of the concept of the literary Canon and its requirements and LET ME TELL YOU #Fanfic absolutely counts the higher ups are just cowards #'this book is a literary masterpiece it breaks down the human understanding of the future and our capabilities of distinguishing reality #From fiction and how one might develop detrimental coping mechanisms to handle it that leads to almost self destructive behaviour due to a #Self enforced blindness that renders one an outsider in their own life and by the way its all a metaphor for the oversaturation of media #Accessible at a young age leading to Youths Of Today absorbing negative traits unrelated to their environment through escapism ' #Great I can list ten self insert fanfics with that exact premise I can just read them for free #And I can guarantee no racism or Victorian era style sexism

[spookyspaghettisundae]

Fucking Chuck

My body ached all over. Two shifts, back to back, working two different jobs. This shit had been getting to me.

My feet were barking so loud, my shoes felt like they were on fire. My fingers and hands were a reddish-pink from the actual fire, from the heat of the day. Burns from handling hot ceramics and metal cutlery to stack them up on carts as soon as the steaming machine’s conveyor belts spat them out.

I should have been home already. I should have been going to bed soon. But I wanted to spend more time up. There was a book I had been reading that I desperately wanted to finish so I could say I had finished reading at least one book that year. More likely, I was going to be stuck on my phone or the computer, wasting my time as I scrolled endlessly through waterfalls of verbal diarrhea and depressing news, until I was too tired to think farther than brushing my teeth and collapsing into bed.

The wiser thing would have been to go straight home and catch up on some sleep. But I didn’t pride really myself on wise choices.

Instead, here I was. Sitting in this coffee shop chain store, sipping a pumpkin spice latte while I gazed out the window, watching the city’s traffic and dreaming about better days. The coffee was supposed to get me through the bus ride home, and help eke out those couple of hours extra before I inevitably fell asleep for a solid four or five hours, only to get back up in the morning to bust my ass at the gas station.

The barista who had served me my latte slid into my booth, right across from me. I froze with shock. Didn’t know this guy. His nametag read “Chuck”.

He smiled at me. His expression was weird, like a mixture between a grimace and a smug grin.

A grinace, if you will. Sorry, but I’m going to keep using that.

“Can I help you?” I asked him. Even tired, I still had attitude. It’s how I made up for my other shortcomings.

I didn’t know this guy, and I immediately wanted him to leave.

His grinace widened.

“Hey,” he said, wielding the same voice as he had during our business transaction. Even when forking over cash for an overpriced latte, he had this sexy kind of smoky voice. Raspy in a pleasant way, bordering on the seductive. All told, I would have liked it under other circumstances, such as hearing it on the other end of a phone call. But as it stood, he was creeping me out with it. “My shift’s over. Mind if I sit here and chat a little bit? Grace?”

My name was written in black ink on the side of my cup. He had written it there himself. It wasn’t my real name, because I don’t give out my real name in settings like these, and exactly because of guys like him.

“I do.”

“You don’t mind, or you—”

“Yeah, I mind. Do you mind?”

His grinace faltered, if only ever so slightly. A simple twitch around the corners of his lips. Typical for his type—physically attractive, well-groomed, superficially polite—he probably wasn’t used to outright rejection. His features were way too symmetrical and sharp for that, and the rest of his silhouette spoke volumes to someone who spent a lot of time in gyms and in front of mirrors.

I’m getting carried away, but I would be remiss to not paint a proper picture.

This is a warning.

I was just slivers of self-control away from breaking out into a cold sweat.

See, I have had a nightmare of this before. Almost this exact situation. It wasn’t a “Chuck”, and Not-Chuck was not as good-looking, and it sure as hell wasn’t in this branded venue. It wasn’t even in the inner city.

It wasn’t real. It had just been a bad dream.

This, however, was real.

The awkward silence in lieu of any reply only added to the dizziness I was starting to feel over all this. My stomach felt like I had been punched in it and my guts and muscles were all knotting up in response.

I was just ready to bolt. I was even telling myself that: splash the latte in his face, and run.

“Sorry, I,” he sighed. “I went about this all wrong, didn’t I? I’ll go.”

So, I didn’t bolt. I was probably more paralyzed than anything, anyway, regardless of what he just said. A deer caught in the headlights, split seconds from getting hit by the speeding car.

“I’ll go,” he said again, tapping the table between us twice.

He slid back out of the booth.

And, you know? Good. I grabbed my bag and jacket and the latte and made to leave, but now he stepped in my way.

Blocked the end of the bench I was sitting on.

He rested one hand on the table, the other on the backrest of the bench. He stared down at me, and his eyes glittered, glinting with something strange.

Predatory.

“I’m sorry, but I just—I have to. You know, there’s these chance encounters in life, and, y’know—w-what are the odds we never see each other again? I can’t let every chance slip away through my fingers.”

I took a shuddering breath and whatever I said next, my voice quaked. Yes, I admit, there was fear swinging in it. Mostly, though, I was furious.

“Chuck, I’m only going to say this once. Get out of my way, or I’m going to scream. Or do worse things to you.”

Other people in the café were all out of earshot. Neither me nor Chuck were talking loud enough to eclipse the surrounding conversations between patrons and people at the counter, so nobody had any clue what situation I was facing here.

He did the smart thing. He backed away, with his hands raised in surrender. He let his head hang, but the grinace stayed plastered to his face.

“Okay, okay, I get the hint. Again, I’m sorry. Can I, at least, you know, if you change your mind, give you my nu—”

“Get out of my way,” I repeated.

Was he stupid? I never wanted to see him again. He had raised so many red flags that I was seeing all red through my growing dizziness. If I was a bull, I was about to charge at him and spear my horns through his fucking heart.

I glared at him with the fury of someone who wished him to drop dead on the spot. I also wanted to run, but I didn’t want to show any weakness.

His slimy presence made it feel like he was the kind of guy who pounced on weakness.

Getting smarter by the second, he backed away another step and afforded me plenty of space to leave. I snatched my items and stormed out of the place, vowing to never return. Maybe not even to this part of the city until I had slept on this once. Or slept on it a thousand times more.

He returned behind the counter where he talked to one of the other baristas in hushed murmurs, and the girl there shot me furtive glances while he did that.

I didn’t even want to know. I pushed my way out of the place, full steam ahead.

Making my way to the bus stop, I both appreciated the bite of cold air as much as I hated it. Though I blamed it all on Chuck. Because of how I stormed out of there, I didn’t have the hands free to sling my jacket on until I reached the bus stop bench, but that cold sensation helped me feel alive. It was cooling me down, because my head was on fire, and spinning a million miles a minute.

Fucking Chuck.

That creep had really gotten under my skin. It had taken him so little to accomplish that.

While I plunked my bag and coffee down on the bench and finally slipped my jacket on, I mentally cursed him and wished all kinds of ill upon him. Maybe he could do everybody a favor and get his dick trapped in between two bricks smashing together?

Fucking Chuck. Made my blood curdle and chills run down my spine, especially as the temperatures clashed and I zipped up my jacket, and—

Chuck was following me.

I noticed him round the street corner that I had rounded. He no longer had his store apron on, no longer bearing any nametag to label him as Chuck. He immediately pretended to not be following me once he spotted that I had spotted him, and awkwardly turned around to hide.

I considered calling the cops, really. But I dreaded him overhearing the call, and how that might escalate the situation, maybe provoking him into more overt and aggressive action.

Instead, I just wanted to wait for the bus.

I plopped down next to an elderly lady whose face was partially covered by a bright blue scarf. She shot me a glance like I had something on my nose, then ignored me. I was tempted to tell her about what was going on. But with all my fire, I was still a deer in the headlights, and my head was spinning, and I was feeling sick.

I was mostly staring down the corner, hoping not to see Chuck ever again in my entire life.

And yet, I could feel his presence nearby. A real nightmare connection.

And the cold, well, it wasn’t really doing it for me. I was not feeling any better. In fact, I was getting dizzier by the second.

This took me back to the aforementioned nightmare. It all bubbled back up to the surface. The Not-Chuck in that nightmare had asked me something so terrifying and relevant that it now began to melt into this slice of reality.

“What would you do if I laced your drink with poison? The drink you’re drinking right now?”

And in the nightmare, it all happened so fast. That Not-Chuck just laughed and watched while I started transforming into disgusting ooze, helpless, melting into a puddle of mud.

But that was the nightmare, and this was reality.

I spied Chuck from the corner of my eye, while the streetlights dimmed. It looked like Fucking Chuck had horns? The streetlights weren’t dimming, my vision was fading. Was it just exhaustion?

Was I hallucinating? Had this creep really spiked my drink?

The bus’s brakes whined as it came to a slow stop in front of us.

But I couldn’t get on the bus. Its doors hissed as they opened, and the elderly lady got on board while I just sat there, stunned. Lost in thoughts and sinking deeper into my dread.

What if he followed me onto the bus, and I fell asleep, and he dragged me off, claiming to bystanders that he was just helping his drunk girlfriend get home?

No, no, no, no-no-nononono—

The bus doors hissed as they closed again and the big vehicle’s engine rumbled, taking off again.

The nightmare of reality was beginning to evolve into something worse than my nightmares.

I got up and staggered and stumbled my way down the sidewalk, past the blurring lights of traffic, and faces of passersby melting into demonic visages.

I had to get away from Chuck.

But the world was spinning all around me, getting worse by the second. This piece of shit had definitely done something to me, definitely drugged me. There was no other explanation.

I felt like stopping and puking, but it didn’t stop. I didn’t stop. Couldn’t stop.

I kept seeing Chuck. In reflections in windows and metal; seeing him in glances I shot over my lurching shoulders. Always following me.

And the distance between us kept shrinking. He was gaining on me.

The rest of the path became a blur. I pushed my way into some random pub. Temperatures clashed again, someone swore at me when I bumped into them, and glass clinked. Warm lights, soft lights, dark corners, eyes on me, and I was sweating like a pig.

Next thing I know, I’m puking out my guts. Wet splashes. Stinging smells, chemical and acerbic.

Next thing I know after that, I’m hugging a toilet and peeling my cheek off a sticky floor tile. Someone was banging on the stall door. Yelling at me to come out.

Checking my phone, I had lost hours, almost my entire night. I felt like I just gotten hit by a truck.

I felt like shit. Saved by a fucking bathroom stall door.

Fucking Chuck.

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