#aside from platonic stuff resonating more with me personally

[psychelis-new]

pick a pile: "Who are you for them?"

take a breath and choose the photo or number that calls you the most to read about how this person or group of people see you and what they think of you. works better for one person at time but you can try asking about group of people too (friends/family...). you can ask about partners (current or future), fs/destined person, friend/s, family members, people you interact (even barely) with (colleagues, classmates...). I honestly started with the idea of only making this pac the usual 4 piles leaning to a "more romantic" interest, but then I needed to add some other people as friends, so I also decided to add a couple of piles more. I won't probably divide piles into sections (as family, work, friends, school, love...) but just focus on the general energy I get. it will resonate differently for you (e.g. the same pile can work for one person's boss and for another person's bestie...). I am going more in detail in other readings (on instagram too).

don’t take the reading too seriously. only take what resonates with you and leave the rest. if you're not called by any pile, let this reading slid as it may not hold messages for you. if you're called by more than one, there may be messages in each of those piles. remember that is a general reading and some things may not resonate with you. energies can change and readings are based on present ones (as you read); you're always in charge of your life.

(photos found on unsplash)

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1 2 3 4 5 6 - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ -

pile 1

This is someone that may have not figured you out well yet (or you haven't figured out them yet). But you kinda hit them in a certain way. You maybe make them realize something or understand something... You give them a different point of view, you put a light on "a problem". This may be someone kinda stubborn on occasion but you give them the ability to open their eyes and be more balanced about what they are seeing and understanding from the world. It doesn't seem a bad person per se, maybe just not too emotionally open/aware when it comes to others and putting themselves into others' shoes. Ofc, not all of these people will be open immediately to the "lesson" you bring with yourself, so they may even not appreciate you at first. If they do, you may help them heal some personal issues and understand why they feel the way they feel. For a few of you, this person may even develop feelings for you. For others, it may be someone from your work/school or family environment (I am not getting friends tbh, maybe acquaintances).

song: come | jain

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pile 2

"You're a small flower to me". This is a line from a song about love and... passion/lust too. But it's very sweet. This person is someone who really likes you and has deep feelings for you. For most of you they're a partner/lover, for others someone sharing a more platonic bond with you (eg. family/friends). This person, aside from the feelings mentioned above, is someone that feels very protective of you. They value you a lot. You may have helped them change perspective on something too. Maybe how they see themselves. You give them strenght or make them stronger (they are stronger for you, because you exists). It's a very cute and loving, devoted energy. You inspire them and help them believe more in their dreams and that they can reach whatever result they want in life. With you by their side, in particular. Communication seems pretty important for you two, you can bond over it and share deep stuff too with no problem. Everyting is allowed. They see you as their new beginning in life, someone they can start everything all over again with (and even do things they thought they couldn't do anymore/at all).

[possible overlays with pile 3]

song: electric | alina baraz, khalid

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pile 3

You are some kind of a mystery or a puzzle to be solved. This person cannot figure you out too well but this doesn't scare them. Quite the opposite. They feel intrigued by you. They may be someone asking you questions and trying to get a look inside of you, to know you deep down, in your essence. They're not scared of seeing your darkest side, despite you may tend to hide it away. This person is someone quite aware of the fact that everyone has dark parts in them. You may feel a bit stressed at first with them (or you may make their stress to increase and then ease a bit by talking); anyway if necessary please communicate with them and tell them off/to chill. They are just plain curious about you, but may get swept away by it and get a bit too far (for a few of you: this person may like mental games a bit too much, so if it gets toxic or you don't like it, just close the thing asap, don't worry about being rude just be plain clear and stand your ground). May come off as a bit closed off/into their head from their part, so it may take you some time to get inside of them, but they will let their walls down if you ask them questions too. They need a bit of help. I'm hearing sapios3xual tbh. Really into minds (and as said, into their head "to process infos"). Could be a lover/partner (especially in the "knowing" phase), someone from your work/school environment or an acquaintance. An ex for a few (especially if resonates with the nosy-toxic part I feel).

[possible overlays with pile 2 or 4]

song: get your number | mariah carey

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pile 4

This may be a friend, more likely childhood/long time friend, or a family member (for a few a possible partner/lover, especially if you are part of the lgbtq+ community). They think you are the type of person they may be willing to go in an abandoned house on Halloween night, just to have fun together (okay dunno about your idea of fun, but any other example could do... this is just the first thought I had). A confident (you for them and they for you). They see you as someone cute, funny and adventurous (now I get why the abandoned house), someone trustworthy, reliable and important: they know you'd do anything for them. Probably you were by their side when they needed the most, when they needed support. They'd come to you if they needed help: you may be a bit more grounded (or a better planner) than them. You are from the same soul family very likely, this person feels as if you were put in their life for a reason and they are incredibly happy and grateful about it. They do feel a deep connection with you, a spiritual bond. They also find you beautiful. Lot of mirror energy tbh, you may feel the same way about them.

[possible overlays with pile 3]

song: before i ever met you | banks

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pile 5

This person sees a connection with you. They feel like you can understand them as nobody else. Or, at least, that you can somehow read their mind and help them express themselves better with others (this may be someone having a blockage about communication, maybe cause by language or their position too, but ofc it doesn't have to be... it may be just social anxiety or anything else, any other trauma). They know they can come to you when they need to talk or clear their mind. They know you can solve their problems even just by simply listening to them speaking. Someone well read, knowledgeable, and fair. Someone that helps them ease their inner struggles. Some kind of a guide to meet and understand themselves when they cannot do it alone. You kinda help them free themselves from their own cage too (for some: this may hit them not immediately but after a while as they may be someone kinda stubborn and fixed in their mentality. This doesn't mean they don't see your ability with words and knowledge). Could be a boss or a colleague/classmate, not sure about a partner or a friend (could be), maybe a family member. Or an acquaintance.

song: haegeum | agust d

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pile 6

You help this person be more grounded and determined. More precise and efficient in what they do. You inspire them to stop and focus on what they can do to do better, on what they can change, on what they can actually control. You calm them, and you give them hope too. You give them strenght. You help them be more positive and in touch with their giving side. They see you as a source of inspiration, someone that's very important in their life, a focal point, maybe even a weak point for some. Someone very empathetic, someone they can learn a lot from, even about themselves. Someone confident and elegant. You make them think a lot indeed and make them want to be better, both as a person and in their work. You help/inspire them "revise" themselves and change/work on themselves. They learn how to be more objective and more empathetic too thanks to you. More connected with their inner self. You give them courage to pursue their dreams and work even harder. Could be a friend, a colleague/classmate, an acquaintance or even a partner or a family member.

song: powerful | ellie goulding, major lazer, tarrus riley

#pac #pick a card tarot #pick a picture #pick a card #pick a pile #pick a photo #pac tarot #pac reading #psychic readings #clairs readings #divination #free tarot reading #tarots #tarot readings #tarot #tarot reading #tarotblr

[robo-dino-puppy]

10 Fandoms, 10 Characters, 10 Tags

thank you for the tag @bluntblade! (i'm embarrassed this took me so long. also i've never been good at ranking things so uh don't consider this list in order of most favorite or anything)

Donna Noble (Doctor Who)

Character I think about if I'm having a bad day <3 This scene between the windows in Partners in Crime never fails to cheer me up. Also: "You're not mating with me, sunshine!" Theeeeee best platonic relationship with the Doctor IMO.

Varl (Horizon)

Aloy did not appreciate this good dude nearly enough. I want Varl to be my BFF. T_T But HFW happened and... I won't say too much about that or we'd be here all day. He's alive in my head and that's all that matters.

Cimorene (The Enchanted Forest Chronicles)

Cimorene! She's no-nonsense and clever. She wasn't a fan of being treated like a princess so she went and "got captured by" a dragon so people would stop bothering her, and helps her cook and organize her library. I mean, goals.

Loki (MCU)

I wasn't into the MCU when it started getting big, and in fact I didn't see any of the movies until I read someone on Tumblr (c. 2012) going on about (paraphrased) how awful it was that people liked Loki because he was the absolute worst and if you liked him you were a gross immoral person and you should feel bad. So I went and watched this Avengers movie everyone was talking about. And guess what haters? He is terrible and I love him.

Parker (Leverage)

Although I am not brave enough to throw myself off buildings, sometimes I amuse myself by thinking "what would Parker do?" and since a canonical option involves stabbing someone who's bothering her with a fork and jumping out a window, the thought cheers me up even if I can't do that.

Aziraphale (Good Omens)

He just wants people (aside from Crowley) to leave him alone in his bookshop. He never fits in with his "side" but tries to do what they want anyway, because that's the good thing to do, and he wants to be good. I can relate so hard, buddy.

Milo Thatch (Atlantis: The Lost Empire)

Ok so... I totally had a crush on Michael J. Fox and I was already interested in linguistics back when this movie came out, and then here's a main character voiced by him who was a linguist! Milo had to be my favorite :D

Elena Fisher (Uncharted)

I will fully admit that some of my initial love of Elena came from her AI covering my panic-flailing self early on in the first Uncharted game (I'm THE WORST at games with guns, even on easy, it's actually embarrassing) - but she impressed me right away when she was not overly impressed by Nate. And her snark game is on point.

Zeb (Star Wars Rebels)

I feel like Zeb needs more love. Comic relief character who actually has an unbelievably tragic backstory! And his story has so much untapped potential! We never really get to explore what happened with Lasan, and then then dump Kallus in there with his defection to the Rebellion and his whole *handwaves* history with the Lasats and eventual apparent (b)romance with Zeb - and the show had so little to say about it! Huge angsty storytelling miss right there. (Dave why.)

Brian Finch (Limitless [2015])

This dude! Lovable but he would be SO exasperating to deal with IRL. His arts-and-craftiness just resonated with me. He was always making stuff out of toothpicks and yarn and papier mâché and clay and and and- I'm still mad this show only got one season.

zero-pressure tags: @mari-mary, @ayaitch, @hannahmationstudios, @inomakani, @fogsblue, @nerd-artist, @singingkestrel, @prototypelq, @tjerra14, @artekai or just consider yourself tagged if you want to do it!

#tag game #ty this was fun! #it took me so long because my brain has been overwhelmed mush lately and *waves vaguely* WORDS #but also... how tf does the tumblr gif search work? #i couldn't find what i wanted for some of these so i just took all my own screencaps instead lmao

[aroaceandetc]

Aro Head Canons for ASAW

Since I haven't had the time/energy to do something big for Aro-Spec Awareness Week like I would like to, I thought I'd at least do a little something and talk about some Aro-Spec Head Canons that I enjoy. So let's get started!

Lt. Commander Data and Geordi La Forge (Star Trek: The Next Generation) - Data and Geordi have always been two of my favorite characters from TNG. They both have such likeable personalities and a lot of great moments/episodes. Data also is as close to a canonically aromantic character as you could get from the 80s/90s I feel like? He and Geordi are, prominently, best friends. Data states that the desire for companionship is not one of the Human Things he finds confusing. But the only time Data attempts romance it's obvious he doesn't get it, far more than he doesn't get other Typical Human Things, and the end conclusion is him deciding to just Not Do romance because there is no 'real him' he can give to a romantic relationship specifically. And that never changes! Not even when he gets a Human Emotion Chip! So even he's not quite canonically aro, I feel like he also slightly is. xD He's also just a major fave, so I enjoy him being aro-coded A Lot.

As for Geordi, there's not really any canon 'evidence' as such other than 'I like him a lot and his main relationships with the crew are all platonic'. He has a few one-shot romances, but they're all so intensely awkward. In part because one-shot romances tend to be awkward and I think the writers sometimes didn't know what to do with Geordi in episodes centered on him. But I enjoy thinking it's partly because he just doesn't realize he's alloaro. xD Maybe gray-aro, I'm not sure. But aro-spec in some kind of way.

Aziraphale and Crowley (Good Omens) - These two notoriously aren't canonically anything. And it's probably best it stay that way. xD But the first time I watched the show (knowing very little about the book other than the fact it existed, and knowing a similar amount about the fandom), I was pleasantly surprised by how much these two resonated with me, both individually and as a pair.

Nothing they do is inherently romantic, and aside from the whole 'our superiors would kill us if they find out about us being friends' bit, a lot of what they do together seems like the kind of thing I really enjoy in close relationships. They go out to eat, they spend long hours discussing the arts and various other things, they go on walks/feed ducks, and they're always excited to see each other (sans the whole 'this could get us killed' anxiety stuff again lol). And that's it! Their happy ending as far as we see is them just being able to do those things freely and without guilt or fear anymore, it's not really implied anywhere they want 'more' from the relationship, just to be able to experience more of it, and safely/without having to come up with excuses to meet.

And then just individually, neither of them really show interest in specifically romance either. And also I like them both and just enjoy the thought of them both being aroace, it's nice to be able to connect with characters you like a lot. X)

Legolas, Gimli, Frodo, Sam, Merry, and Pippin (The Lord of the Rings) - Look, The Lord of the Rings, in particular the book, just has aro vibes. xD None of these characters have a love interest other than Sam having a very minor one (I call grey-aro) that isn't emphasized anywhere near the way he friendship with Frodo is. It's a friendship-heavy book in general, and only one of the end couples actually got screentime or development (Eowyn and Faramir were also written in a way that they're one of a small group of romantic pairings I actually quite like?) compared to all the Fellowship friendships getting heavily centered.

I don't even know where on the aro spectrum to put all of these fellas, but I feel like they have a lot of potential to cover a number of bases? (Gandalf didn't have a romance either actually, I'm claiming him too. Why not. xD) Merry randomly strikes me as aroflux for no particular reason. Pippin I could see as frayromantic? I'd have to think more on the specifics for the others, but case in point: LotR is a great book/film series and most of the characters can be read as arospec in some kind of way so I'm just gonna go ahead and do that. xD

(Gimli is especially a childhood favorite though, so. Him and Legolas get top tier from me lol)

Sherlock Holmes (Various iterations? But especially ACD and Granada?) - Holmes just is a big mood in general, but also an aro mood. xD And while being aro on its own isn't about being reclusive or anti-social or constantly raising your brow at how others do relationships, these are things I associate with my own experience of aromanticism for just me, and I relate to some of that in Holmes as well, which makes the headcanon extra appealing. He is also an eccentric and I enjoy that a lot because he just so much isn't trying to be 'normal', he just does his detective thing and I love it.

Also, while I'm not as dead set on it. I do like Watson as aro-spec too! He did seem to genuinely find Mary attractive, but marriage clearly didn't suit him (and I wonder if he didn't do it in part because he did try to seem 'normal' even though he's also frankly weird), since he ultimately returned to just living with Holmes and was happy with it.

James (Team Rocket/Pokemon) - This is a head canon that both stems from 'James is a long time favorite of mine so I want him to be aro Just Because' and 'he actually has very strong romance-repulsed vibes in canon'. His backstory involves him running away from home to escape an (admittedly toxic) arranged marriage, every time a one-shot character expresses romantic interest in him he's horrified (unless there's some kind of mystical thing involved), and he was completely appalled at the suggestion he and Jesse could be together romantically despite them unambiguously being best friends and/or partners for life (he said he'd rather DIE, which yes was for comedy/exaggeration, but he so consistently has this kind of reaction to romance aimed at him).

Elsa (Frozen) - There's been plenty of discussion on this one before, but just. Elsa has the biggest aro moods in both films (she's also genuinely content being a bit more solitary at the end of the second one, staying in close contact with her family but living alone/single, which is pretty great). She's also just very relatable in general, which adds to the head canon appeal. And her being aro while Anna is super into romance, the possibilities of them learning to navigate that together? Big fan.

Moana (Moana) - This is another case of 'there wasn't a romantic interest and I adore the character, so to the aro bin you GO'. xD Her whole 'I am Moana' song being her Big Moment is powerful in general, but I really like how the movie centers on her individual growth, and how she has this big moment while she's alone and That's Okay.

Noe (Vanitas no Carte) - I know Noe is, in general, oblivious. But he's just SO oblivious to the most overt crushes on him (and there are more than one), doesn't get what 'love' is (which just, makes me think of all the conversations trying to define romance in the aro community that are very thought provoking but don't really get anywhere as far as a 'proper answer' goes xD), and just does not seem romantically interested in anyone. I also just like him a lot lol.

Sonic, Blaze, and Rouge (Sonic the Hedgehog) - Sonic is just never truly interested in romance, and even when he 'is', it doesn't feel like very...allo romance on his end? And that only happened one or twice anyways. Mostly, he's annoyed or repulsed or exasperated with Amy's crush on him and doesn't seem interested in others. And he's always described as a 'free spirit', which doesn't mean anything technically, but the way it's done here has prominent 'single for life' vibes, and he's very happy with his free spirit life style!

Blaze I fully admit the hc is just 'she's cool and doesn't have a canon love interest' lol. Because she is cool and should really be in the games more, and she doesn't have a canon love interest, so why the heck not?

Rouge I just enjoy the the thought of her being aro. She flirts and stuff, but sometimes just as a 'tactic', and sometimes just I think for fun, but that doesn't necessarily mean she has real crushes or wants a romantic relationship. Another case of 'hey why not, it's fun!'

Bow and Glimmer (She-Ra and the Princesses of Power) - I am like 98% sure the writers were trying to make these two an end game couple. But they gave such IMMENSELY POWERFUL platonic vibes from the very beginning, and kept it that way the whole show as far as I'm concerned, so I read them as platonic all the way to the end. And I loved that about them! Both are such fun and cool characters in their own respect, and they got to have an epic friendship that was given time and weight! Also I am so so into platonic m/f epic duos. They feel so rare, and they make my brain so happy. xD

#aromantic #aromanticism #aromantic spectrum awareness week #ASAW #asaw22 #fandom #head canons

[whetstonefires]

Do you think the DC fandom maybe, Infantilizes Tim a little too much? Like for a rich kid character who's main trauma for a long time was a getting left home alone too much there's an oddly amount of meta abt how much how much his parents hurt him~ compared to, y'know the two poor characters who grew up with physically abusive dad's+druggie mom's, or the two that were raised assassin cult's, etc

…well, yeah, I do kind of think that? His whole schtick for so long was being too old for his age in ways that didn’t sacrifice his jokey, relatable teenager energies. It’s weird how little of that we see anymore, sometimes.

And then DC broke him and discarded him and he’s sort of awkwardly hanging around getting reimagined as more woobie with every fan generation. It is weird!

But tbh I do get it. And I think the reason his parents’ failure of him and his vulnerability get played up so much, and Jason and Steph’s sufferings (while used a lot for things like motivation and context) not dwelt on quite so much in the same lugubrious style, are kind of the same reason.

Which is that canon didn’t commit to it. Jason and Steph’s experiences with bad parenting were foregrounded and retconned more dramatically awful several times. (There’s some definite classism in how that was approached imo, and I’m never budging on being mad about DC retconning out Catherine being sick and then ignoring her forever in all Jason characterization because a drug death invalidates a person ig, great message during the opioid crisis guys.)

They engaged and coped with it–Steph (and Cass, our #1 canon batfam parental abuse victim) pretty directly, Jason a little less so because of the dubious and fluctuating canon status of most of the content more specific than ‘poverty, homelessness, theft, parental drugs and crime in there somewhere,’ so most of his parent issues have been focused on Bruce. He sure has dug into them tho. 😂 Rarely well or productively, thanks DC, but it’s explicitly part of his character, is my point.

Whereas upper-middle-class Tim was always treated by the narrative as fortunate and unharmed by his experiences with his parents. Even though they were clearly behaving badly in several ways, and Tim showed signs of being harmed by it.

Tim outside of immediate moments of frustration always was of the opinion he was Fine, and Very Fortunate Actually.

Therefore a huge chunk of the numerous everyone who’s got parent-related mental and emotional harm, but has struggled to have that validated and hasn’t responded with a lot of anger toward the parent, identifies with Tim. The only one who’s never really lashed out at his parents for fucking up with him. The one who still needs it explored, because canon ultimately didn’t.

[editing post to put in a readmore because lol it’s long, post otherwise unchanged]

(Dick obviously didn’t ever have any Issues with the Graysons, but he Angry Teenagered at Bruce so hard it changed Bruce’s characterization permanently, rip.)

The things Jason, Steph, and Cass have been through are dramatic, obvious, and fit stereotypes because that’s what they’re based on.

That’s important content to have, but because it’s right out there in your face even people who identify with it quite a lot are less likely to feel the need to work all the way through it again in fanworks. That part’s there. It’s text.

(Well actually Jason having been physically abused kind of wasn’t? I think? It was mostly assumed on the basis of stereotyping and Jason’s not caring about the man much even as he felt possessive of information about his death, which is valid. I don’t actually know what’s up with Willis now, Lobdell did some weird shit that lacked emotional resonance or staying power because he’s Lobdell and has no soul.

Cass’ wandering years are also ludicrously underdeveloped. But very very few comics fans or writers can personally relate to being amazing child warriors with no grasp of language living feral under bridges. That part of her life is consistently represented in terms of absences, in terms of its deviation from the norm and the deficits of normality it left her with, which is typical but unfortunate.) 

-

The interesting things to do with these characters are often informed by the bad stuff in their childhoods, but there’s relatively rarely that much more to say about the fact that those things were bad. They know they’re bad. They’ve had a lot of on-panel rage about it, as discussed above. Steph and Cass both beat the shit out of their dads.

Jason is, in fandom especially, a sort of Platonic ideal of a kid who’s mad about his bad childhood and really bad at figuring out where to point that rage.

(Damian is a whole other kettle of fish, because he’s been lumbered by so many detailed retcons coming so fast no two people can seem to construct compatible models of what his early childhood was like, and even more because he’s still ‘a child’ enough that he’s necessarily in a different stage of processing than someone who’s officially only a few years older than him at this point, but still functionally 8 and also 20 years older, and whose parents are no longer in the picture to continue screwing up.

Also there’s no question that if he brings up an abusive thing the League did, he will be validated by his current environment about his realization that it was in fact bad. There’s a lot of fic on that theme! But it doesn’t have the same tone precisely because it is usually understood that that support will be there if he wants it. Realizing that his previous context contained things that were wrong keeps being made the focus of his arc.)

The badness of Tim’s childhood, on the other hand, was mainly in subtext. Even when we were clearly meant to understand Jack was fucking up, like when he canceled plans with Tim at the last minute to go on a date with Tim’s stepmother, or that infamous time he came to apologize for not being a great parent and got mad Tim was distracted by a crisis on TV so he flew into a rage and took the TV and smashed it and was like ‘that’ll teach you,’ it wasn’t leaned into.

The story didn’t treat Jack as a minor villain to be overcome but like a sort of environmental hazard of childhood, like homework, to be endured and coped with. Tim said things like ‘it’s fine’ and ‘at least he left the computer.’

(And like. It’s not about having a TV and computer in his room. It’s about not letting a child have boundaries, pointedly not respecting a child’s possessions, creating an emotionally insecure environment, punishing minor infractions in proportion to their momentary impact on your own ego, physically lashing out at a proxy for the child…)

Rather like Tom King later didn’t understand about the punching from Bruce, whoever did that story (probably Dixon? I don’t care enough to check) did not understand how serious a case of bad parenting that scene was. That is most definitely textbook abusive behavior. (It’s a hell of a lot more common abusive behavior than being a lame supervillain or shooting you when you screw up, and a lot more specific than ‘was a thug, might have hit me, dead now.’)

And Tim was never allowed to be mad at his parents about it. It was fine. He needed to be ignored so he had the freedom to be Robin. He deserved his dad being mad at him because he was keeping secrets. He complained too much, although objectively he did not.

The universe punished him for ‘complaining,’ more than once. We cut straight from him shunting aside his disappointment that his postcard from his parents was just to say they weren’t coming home yet after all with ‘if it will stop all the fights they’ve been having lately it’s more than fine’ to them getting kidnapped.

He agreed not to come on the rescue mission. His mom never made it home, and his dad was in a coma for a while. And then ultimately Jack died as a result of Tim’s decision to be Robin, immediately after finally deciding to accept it.

So Tim walks around feeling a huge burden of responsibility for his parents’ deaths, and completely unable to process any hurt they did him as real or valid, especially in comparison with the far more blatant awfulness other people have been through, and canon is clearly never going to address it. Or even acknowledge it properly.

Let me repeat that because it’s kind of my main point:

People are fixated on getting Tim’s emotional abuse validated because that’s an incredibly important step in recovering from emotional abuse, and it’s one canon consistently denied him.

How ‘bad’ things are ‘in comparison to’ problems other people have is a bad and unhealthy way to engage with trauma. Okay? That’s just a really harmful framework to apply to pain.

It’s also a way that both Tim and people with experiences similar to Tim’s are encouraged to engage with their own experiences, compounding the existing problems.

So. Not a form of relatable DC was ever actually aiming for when they tried so hard (and pretty effectively) to make him a relatable character as Robin, but an enduring one for a lot of fans.

-

So Tim’s childhood is a natural target for fanworks in a different way than the traumas that have been made explicit and taken seriously by the text. And then a lot of that got compounded by the way the introduction of Damian as Robin was handled, and the lack of resolution that got. And his current status as not quite having a place in the family anymore.

So between the level of projection encouraged by that context and how relatively difficult to access Tim’s Robin run has become ten years after the fact, this has led to a lot of fanworks on these themes that are based mostly on other fanworks, and stray further and further from the original content.

So at this point there’s an entire wing of Tim’s fandom wherein this side of him has expanded enormously, and he primarily exists to suffer, frequently in ways that 1) escalate to a point that is inarguably ‘valid’ and hard to dismiss and 2) set him up to rebound from it in whatever way the writer finds emotionally satisfying or useful–being ultimately cared for and reassured by people who value him (the most infantilizing option but like, popular for obvious reasons), or unveiling his brilliant scheme that was causing him to pretend to be passive in the face of mistreatment, or turning around and using his genius ninja skills to wrest power back from his abusers, or just laying down some sick burns about being treated fairly.

But not that many of the last one, because that’s mostly done with other batfam members.

Tim’s become a vehicle for a lot of vicarious coping that Steph and Jason just aren’t appropriate for, because they get angry and they get even. And those are stories that exist already, so there’s less scope for telling your own.

And because Jason’s reaction pattern is ultimately so masculine (i’ll make them all sorry! with my guns! blam blam!) while Tim’s is pretty gender-neutral, the demographics of fanfic mean that the bulk of the people using Tim vicariously in this manner are female-aligned, which has over time feminized this archetype of him a lot. Sometimes in ways I find really uncomfortable, like there’s a lot of forced pregnancy stuff which activates my panic buttons. x.x

But, ultimately, it’s fandom. People are going to do what they’re going to do, DC in their perpetual fail has hung Tim out to dry in narrative terms, and I’d rather the people who are using Tim for victimization narratives over the people who can’t dismiss or discredit him fast enough now that his position has been filled. 🤷‍♀️ What we gonna do? Fave’s in an awkward spot. DC hates us. This is the life in this comic book pit. XD

-

Also if you’re the same anon who left me a callout about op of that weird Steph post in my inbox, or if you aren’t @ that person, 1) I refuse to get involved so I’m not answering that ask 2) those aren’t even particularly dramatic fandom crimes? That’s pretty normal? That’s just…Caring Too Much About Ships And Disagreeing With Me.

Do I also feel those opinions are kinda bad? Yeah. But I disagree with everyone about something. Chill.

#tim drake #child abuse #characterization #fanworks #fandom #batfam #emotional abuse #neglect #validation #projection #vicarious re-parenting of self #coping mechanisms #recovery #i ramble #this took too long already i'm not rewriting it into a well-organized essay #opinions #comics #in the end we are all Superboy Prime #hoc est meum #a nonny mouse #ask

[stovmborn-arc]

get  to  know  the  mun  !  repost,  don’t  reblog.

———  𝐁𝐀𝐒𝐈𝐂𝐒.

(PEN)NAME  :  sharna

PRONOUNS  :   she / her

ZODIAC  SIGN  :  scorpio ( promise we aren’t all bad )

TAKEN  OR  SINGLE  :    taken  !!!  altho my bf is more like a child

———  𝐓𝐇𝐑𝐄𝐄  𝐅𝐀𝐂𝐓𝐒.

i am the mother of cats. i have two lil fur babies who are honestly ignorant, naughty & timid little shit bags but they are my children. their names are sparkle & misty, we also wanna eventually rescue a black male and name him storm. drogo was my first choice but ...... storm goes with the other kitties and kinda honours * jon snow voice * my queen 

ummm, i actually have a bachelors degree in media arts so i went on to study film & television at university but i am yet to do anything. my dream was to become a producer until i realised how much work really goes into that kinda stuff and i’d have to move away from my small city home which i love so that kinda went out the window and now idk 

i bought my first house at the ripe age of 21 which is just madness. so we reserved it sep 2019 and then got the keys dec 2019 and have spent forever tryna make it our first lil home. most of the major jobs are now done, except the garden but honestly buying your first house is a PROCESS and a bloody tough on at that but u know ... we move 

———  𝐄𝐗𝐏𝐄𝐑𝐈𝐄𝐍𝐂𝐄.

i have sorta been in and out of rp for years now. i remember, i used to write on tumblr when i was like 12 / 13 which is ..... really kinda scary thinking about it. when i was 17, i got back into roleplay and ended up joining a group with the nicest of people ( some of who i still speak to now ). i worked my way up to becoming a moderator and then an admin, then poured my heart and soul into a revamp but i think the longer i spent there, i just got a bit bummed out by strict rules and having to set an example as head admin when i could hardly follow them myself with university and working a full time job. i did leave eventually and came over to indie where i took my lil fire cracker as oc. just recently made her a blog because i found my long lost love @asynjja​ / @indizien​ and got hit right in the feels with this rollercoaster plot we had going. i then started adding game of thrones muses to that multi, switched it out for solely a game of thrones multi, then made daenerys & margaery their own separate blogs but marg moo is hibernating

———  𝐌𝐔𝐒𝐄  𝐏𝐑𝐄𝐅𝐄𝐑𝐄𝐍𝐂𝐄.

i have a soft spot in my heart for cripples, bastards & broken things. nah, i’m kidding but most of my characters have legit always been BROKEN  !!!  i’ve always had this thing for powerful woman who are inspiring, a lil wild and just stand out characters. so aside from dany, i’ve also written sansa, arya, cersei and margaery but i just never really resonated with them in the way that i did with daenerys. i feel like because i started watching game of thrones when there were only 3 seasons out, that i really watched her grow and just came to love her even more. she stands for freedom, justice, equality and tbh .... that’s the stuff i stand for too. she’s a passionate fiery lil thing and i think i can relate to that on quite a few levels, which is why i’ve opted for the characters that i have in the past. i could really do with reviving marg ( @rosebeavty​ ) but my muse here is far too strong. once i become hooked on a certain character, i find it difficult to place my muse and interest elsewhere so sorry guys but ur stuck with me for a lil while 

———  𝐅𝐋𝐔𝐅𝐅  /  𝐀𝐍𝐆𝐒𝐓  /  𝐒𝐌𝐔𝐓.  

FLUFF  :  i do have a few fluffy threads but i’m the kinda person who tends to .... add a lil bit too much spice in a quest to find out how much pain i can inflict on daenerys, myself and my writing partners. that being said, i do love soft & mushy things whether it’s shippy stuff or familial / platonic because who doesn’t deserve a lil love here n there ??

ANGST  :  as mentioned above, angst always somehow makes its way into my threads. sometimes intentionally, sometimes accidentally. listen, all i’m sayin is .... i can’t control what these fingers do and by writing with me, you are signing your heart away to probs be hella damaged because that’s just what i do. give me the angst, give me things we can develop / progress as we write together. if you wanna break my heart, TRY ME 

SMUT  :  god, i’m a nervous wreck when it comes to smut. don’t get me wrong, i adore plotting out lil headcanons and writing it but i genuinely can’t remember the last time i wrote it, so i feel rusty af. that being said, i love me some spice so throw me in the deep end and i’ll eventually start swimming. i do love a good lil bit of smut but never know what words to use and overthink it bc i don’t want my writing to sound harsh / crass but also don’t wanna be pretentious and start referring to things as the vaguest of metaphors lol

PLOT  /  MEMES  :   i am down for carrying on a thread from an ask meme. please, if u wanna carry on a meme i’ve done for you  ----  go for it even if we have 90 other things going or have never interacted before. as for plotting, sometimes my brain goes DEAD but i’m always willing to work with my partners and i think sometimes, just screaming & yelling ideas at each other is the best way to come up with a beautiful chaos. 

tagged   by   :     stolen from the wonderful & crazy nina on @wldflwers tagging     :       @snowbrn,  @multusxcastalides,  @kinginthcsouth,  @mlfns,  @luxfurem,  @ofasshai​,  @highvishorror​  &  whoever wants in  !!!  tag me so i can see your answers 

[rimurutempest-bounced]

soft asks, im just gonna answer them all:

1. cherry - what is your sexuality?

gay

2. lollipop - favorite makeup products?

eyeliner. i usually like stuff by e.l.f.

3. daydreams - if you could be anything or anyone, who would you be?

assuming “shapeshifter” is off the table, i’d be an unkillable dragon.

4. october - what month were you born in?

september!

5. caress - do you like to snuggle?

rarely, actually! sometimes i like it and seek it out, but i have a capacity limit.

6. ivory - describe your pajamas?

uhhh, right now? grey t shirt and black shorts. sometimes nothing. sometimes t shirt and underwear. i dont have any specific pjs.

7. golden - favorite stationary product?

stickers. metallic paint pens and, like, gel pens are pretty high up there too.

8. freckles - most-worn article of clothing?

boots or poncho/shawl.

9. twilight - best friend?

@skulloflibitina​, @aftermidnightblue​, @papamoomin​(he’s my husband, so he’d better be my best friend)

10. silk - do you like k-pop?

i only know a couple of songs, and they’re all pretty damn old now. not into any specific bands. i love BoA though, just in general.

11. poppy - favorite pastel color?

lavender

12. dimples - most attractive features of a person’s face?

eyes!

13. sunkissed - autumn or spring?

autumn.

14. buttery - favorite snack?

probably seaweed snacks, i think. im picky though, some days nothing is RIGHT.

15. whisper - how much sleep do you get?

........not enough. usually maybe 6 hours? 

16. pencil - do you own a journal?

i do, but i never use it........

17. cupcake - are you a good cook?

yes! i rarely cook though.

18. honey - favorite term of endearment?

darling, beloved, sweetheart. in that order.

19. clouds - describe one of your favorite dreams?

i have a recurring one about being in a dinghy on a small sound and the water is so calm the surface is like glass. the sky is grey and heavy with clouds. im rowing, or drifting, to a point with a rocky shore, and when i get out, i walk into a beautiful forest(not quite boreal/taiga) and it’s warm and sunny and green. i walk to a stump, covered and surrounded by beautiful cushion moss, and i feel like someone very important to me is with me, but i dont know who.

sometimes there’s more to the dream, but often the other elements are stressful or upsetting, so. that much is really nice and calm though!

20. velvet - who was your first crush?

i guess a boy named ashton i saw during the summers for a few years. he and his family had a summer house up the street. i honestly cannot fathom why anyone would want to leave jamaica in the summer to stay in THAT neighbourhood, it was not a particularly special place imo. he was really nice to me though, and said i could call him my boyfriend. i think we kissed once or twice. his family was wonderful. i think the people who started staying in that house after they stopped going there were pretty rude, but my memory around that is kinda hazy. apparently i was so upset about his family not visiting any more that i keyed my name into the new peoples’ car? i got in trouble for it anyway.

21. paper - favorite children’s book?

the hobbit. or the last unicorn. or blueberries for sal. i dont know, i loved a LOT of books as a kid.

22. peaches - do you have a skincare routine?

nah. not really. i use a face cleanser/wash in the shower, but not with any routine.

23. mochi - favorite studio ghibli film?

princess mononoke.

24. backyard - did you ever have an imaginary friend?

yeah, i think so. i played alone a lot, but usually not with any imaginary friends. but i DID have a tiny pocket journal that i would write letters to my “friend in fance” in. his name was pierre i think. i dont remember writing his responses, and they were in completely different handwriting. even into high school i would sometimes write him a little note when i cleaned my room and found the book, out of nostalgia, and every time i found it, he’d written a reply. usually asking why it had been so long. i think he might have said some kinda creepy/wierd stuff, too. wonder what happened to that little book lmao. (it was a teeny tiny lisa frank notebook i think. with a little snap button clasp to close it.)

25. strawberry - favorite fruit?

obligatory, apples! also blueberries and mango. botannically, non traditionally for culinary speaking, avocado too.

26. kiss - have you ever kissed a friend?,

i kiss my husband a lot, but in a purely platonic way, uh. on the cheek, sure, plenty of times. on the lips, i think only once, and i was not comfortable with it at all.

27. nightlight - do you read before bed?

if social media, wikipedia articles, and/or video game dialogue counts, then yes. if only books do, then no.

28. shampoo - favorite scent?

mint and rosemary, for shampoo. in general, my fave scent is wood smoke. briney, salty, sea air is up there. and pine(especially balsam), cedar(technically cypress), juniper, sage, leather...........

29. skin - what distant relative are you closest to?

uh, idk what’s considered distant honestly. im not really close to most of my bio family, in any sense tbh. maybe my cousin faith? we rarely talk and she lives in north carolina, but i think probably her somehow, lol (she’s my 1st cousin though, idk if that counts?)

30. aphrodite - favorite actress/actor?

mmmmm.......maybe lupita nyong’o? or jason momoa. i also like michael b jordan, elijah wood, shia labeouf, dolly parton, daniel radcliff, robert patterson..... idk, i dont actually usually have fave celebs like that much.

31. cuddles - do you have any pets?

my son, a beautiful but not very bright fat clumsy goblin of a cat whom i love.

32. lace - if you own any dresses, which is your favorite?

no, even when i still wore skirts sometimes, dresses werent really my thing. i gave my skirts to my friend anna, and she still has some. my fave is probably the long, black skirt with autumny coloured vines and leaves. apparently the style of skirt is called broomstick, according to google?

33. sheets - sanrio or san-x characters?

i had to google the difference, but sanrio. they’re all cute though.

34. cream - frozen yogurt flavor?

usually taro! i also like just plain, tart froyo, or pomegranate. i generally go for fruity flavours, aside from taro. it’s also one of the only times i’ll sometimes opt for coconut, esp if it’s paired with taro!

35. watermelon - do films ever make you cry?

almost always. the genre DOES NOT MATTER. im less likely to cry watching horror/slasher/gore stuff (but im also less likely to watch those vs suspense thrillers/psychological horror anyway)

36. sapphos - favorite poet?

emily dickinson, i think. despite my love for simple rhyme and meter, i just love how evocative her writing is. each of her poems is so personal, but because of that, they’re pretty widely relatable, so it’s easy to resonate with them. 

im also very fond of frost and poe’s poetry(and poe’s writing in general, ofc)

honestly, this is making me want to just binge a ton of poetry by poets i havent read before. (if anyone wants to send me recs, PLEASE do.)

37. plush - how many stuffed animals do you still own?

i am not counting them, lmao. suffice to say, too many to count without a good deal of effort.

38. roses - what flower do you find most beautiful?

most beautiful i’d say wisteria, but my faves are chrysanthemums and hydrangeas. wisteria is my 3rd place.

39. sweetheart - favorite mug/cup?

i have a few i like a lot, but my husband bought me a World’s Best Dad mug that is a particular fave right now.

40. sunset - what are your pronouns?

exclusively he/him/his

#shooting the breeze with zeph #about me #there's a link to the OP at the top of this post btw #long post

[flyswhumpcenter]

Bad Things Happen Bingo! The event where you send me I give myself self-indulgent requests according to this marvelous card!

I didn’t expect to write for Arc-V this soon again but 1. it’s been really fun 2. Shun is my new victim it’s official 3. it actually dawned on me with, finally, a solution to this prompt that has bothered me for a while.

It’s also way longer than I expected it to be. Like, holy shit, I think it’s the longest fic I’ve written fot BTHB yet? I guess sibling love really motivates me, because that’s all this fic is about: siblings protecting each other.

----

Birds of a Feather, Fall Together

Summary: In the ruins of Heartland City are Ruri, her brother, and the man who has taken her brother hostage. And it's all up to Ruri, who was on the search for a sibling that was very much late to come back to their camp, to solve the issue of what she'll need to sacrifice to the hands of the enemy: her companions, her brother, or herself. Shun, however, couldn't disagree more with these options.

Fandom: Yu-Gi-Oh! Arc-V Relationships: Ruri & Shun (siblings, platonic)

Wordcount: 4.5K words

Event hosted by @badthingshappenbingo

AO3 version available here.

----

Throughout the deserted ruins of what once was the colourful and lively Heartland City, now shadow of what it had once been drowning in its own silence, resonated panicked footsteps and a seeking voice. A lone girl only armed with a disk attached to her arm was in search of someone, strolling through the debris, walking over shattered glass, her pink eyes focused on not getting caught by anyone, not to get spotted by malevolent eyes.

What was left of the once peaceful streets was devoid of anyone, resident or invader, good or bad (albeit the concept was somewhat outdated, she had found out). The quietness was eerie to her, but she pressed on, hearing only her breathing, the sound of her brave but cautious footsteps, and her surroundings for any possible enemy. There was no sense of security to be had, only a sense of danger trying to sneak up on her.

 Ruri had lived through the Invasion long enough to know what she needed to be careful about, what she wouldn’t be forgiven for would she commit it. Obelisk Force soldiers could be everywhere, at any time, to enjoy carding her by ganging up on her and summoning a terrible beast to remind herself of the trauma of the war her people hadn’t asked for. Trusting people was essential but shouldn’t have been abused: survival required to work together, but to also think for oneself.

To be honest, Ruri hated having to be selfish about something as basic as being human; but that was what her brother had taught her so she could make it out of the Invasion alive, or at least survive long enough to see things getting better, acting through one duel at a time.

 She regretted having gone to search on her own. At least, being with someone else like Sayaka or Allen would have given her a sense of security, even if that sentiment was fake or artificial. However, she had felt like they’d need to be as stealthy as possible, in a time where the enemy could be everywhere and attack at any time with a force a thousand times stronger than they could have ever hoped to get. But she was a tough girl, she could do that on her own without endangering anyone other than her; so she shook her head and tried to stop her shivers, to ignore the cold wind blowing through her hair and the cold sweats going down her back.

 She had one objective, only one: finding her brother again. He had gone to recover resources for the camp a couple of hours before yet had been way too late coming back for it not to be suspicious. At best, he had gotten into troubles with the weight of the resources and was on his way to get backup. At worse, he’d be… He’d have left them without any hope to return. With the deepest desire not to see her beloved sibling carded and discarded on the floor next to some debris or to see him in any distorted shape, Ruri pressed on, fearful steps getting increasingly more determined, fasting the pace as long as nobody showed up in her fields of view or hearing.

 The streets had become strangers to her before growing familiar again: it was how humans were getting used to misery, violence and hiding in a hole not to be imprisoned, tortured or meeting their end in cruel, blood-tainted hands. In this world where the strongest ruled, she couldn’t have any high hope for her brother to be fine when she’d eventually find him, if she was going to find him at all. Yet, she found herself praying, perhaps uselessly, that he was going to be in one piece and okay by the time they’d reunite. She needed to bring him back to the base, if just for his own safety.

Truly, it was in those moments that Ruri would have appreciated that Shun was less of a natural loner, “I’m going to protect everyone by putting myself on the line” type of person. At least, they’d have convinced him not to look for stuff on his own.

 Suspicious noises picked Ruri’s attention, then interest. Her curiosity had never let her down, even since the Invasion had taken place. After spending a dozen or so of minutes hanging around the desolated ruins of Heartland in complete silence aside from her shoes crunching shattered glass and rummaging through stone, she was bound to be intrigued by suddenly hearing any human noise. Making sure to be stealthy, she glided along the walls, avoided all possible noise from stepping on potential sources of betrayal, and eventually arrived in the spot where the noise came from.

And then she almost screamed.

 Squinting her eyes from behind the wall, the first thing that bestowed Ruri’s eyes was the unforgettable image of an Obelisk Force soldier surrounded by what looked like two gallons of water and with a smashed Duel Disk attached to his wrist, locking her brother in his arms, the blade of a knife on the latter’s throat, close enough from where she was for her to think he was about to be throttled on the spot. Distant yells reached her ears, “stop moving around, brat”, “if you don’t calm down, I won’t hesitate”. No offer to surrender. Her brother’s feet desperately trying to get out of there until the knife was placed right under his chin.

Before she knew it, Ruri had sidestepped to see more, to guess if she should run away and risk getting spotted to get some help or if she could deal with it on her own and free Shun from the lock on his neck. There was no time to go get aid from Kaito or Yuto, if they were back from their mission that was: her brother was about to have his throat slashed if someone didn’t do anything.

 When Ruri finally looked back at the scene, the soldier was looking right into her eyes, having obviously spotted her. Gulping, she approached, careful of the hand holding the knife, making sure to look strong or even menacing as she did so. She was going to save her brother from the imminent danger, after all she had to be strong, in these dire times, and she wouldn’t hesitate to duel the man who had dared lie a hand on her brother.

Oh, wait. His disk had been smashed, presumably by Shun himself. She’d have to settle that in other ways, something not uncommon to her.

 “Stop in your tracks!”

The yell of the soldier made her do just as he ordered, if not just by surprise. Despite her absolute want to save her sibling, Ruri had to admit she was at a disadvantage: no real weapon aside from a Duel Disk that’d take too long to use compared to the time required to slash someone’s body with a blade of any sort and no way to pressure the man into surrendering his hostage.

 “Ruri!” Shun’s screaming, yet audibly strained, voice made itself heard against the cold of the blade. “Ruri, get out of here, go away, right now!”

“But, brother! I can’t give up on you like that!”

Her response didn’t seem to please him in the slightest, as he was about to respond to her with an enforced frown on his face, but the knife got even closer to his throat.

“If you don’t fuckin’ shut it, I’m killing you on the spot.”

 Her brother grudgingly accepted to stay quiet, as she could see from the frown still present yet his voice disappearing entirely from the air. This was messed up and, if she wasn’t trying to save one of the people dearest to her, she’d have perhaps shed a tear; but this was, as Shun would have said himself, a battlefield where crying didn’t matter and didn’t improve things, where it was to kill or be killed. A reality she clearly hated, a reality that she had to face every day, a reality that was threatening them both yet again.

The fire inside of her, however, didn’t stop burning. She felt a rush of adrenaline coursing through her body, making her limbs tense up and her mind get sharper, like the predator about to jump on its victim, yet she wasn’t the predator there: she was more like the prey waiting for its hunter to go away. If she had to defy odds to get her brother back, she would: Resistance members stuck together and, like two birds of the same feathers, siblings helped each other out. It was her time to help Shun out of a dangerous situation.

 “Ruri, huh…” The soldier mused to himself for a moment, before a smile creeped on his face. “So you two know each other, right?”

She didn’t respond. That was an obvious trap and she wouldn’t step in it.

“Oh well. What about we make a little deal, you and I?”

That was already more interesting and less one-sided, but she had to remain focused and suspicious. You could never trust the Obelisk Force, Shun and Yuto had reminded them all numerous times before, and she had seen that from her own two eyes. There was no backing down, but there was also no suspension of disbelief.

“You give out the location of your precious, fellow members, and he shall be free. What about that?”

 Shun angered right in front of her, pupils retracting and fists balling up. His arms were oddly free, but a slash of a knife could be quicker than any punch or kick.

“Don’t listen to that offer, it’s a scam! Protec-”

He was interrupted by a cut on his right cheek, his frown deepening with a little grunt, to which she had to keep in a yelp of horror.

“I told you to shut the fuck up, didn’t I?! Next time you open it up, it’s your throat I’m gonna cut!”

 Her brother went back to being silent, red trickling down his face and to his neck in thin flows. Ruri was left wondering what to do: giving their position was obviously a no-go, she would have never betrayed her companions for anything, but what else could she do that wouldn’t risk her life or his? If she approached even further, Shun could die a moment later. She had no other bargaining chip than what she couldn’t give up for anything. Even her moral horizon, her last resort, was doomed to fail: activating the carding function on her disk would also card Shun in the process, making the entire ordeal utterly pointless, if not counterproductive, and she’d lose someone close to her yet again. There was no way out of this…

 “Wait, miss.”

This got Ruri’s attention back to the soldier, rather than her own thoughts and a plan of action she couldn’t find.

“What about I give you another proposition?”

“What is it, this time? I won’t ever give up on my comrades.”

She tensed up without fully realizing it, anxiety getting to her to the point of making her nauseous and dizzy, even though she had no time to breathe when such a climax had been reached.

“You come with me, and I let him go.”

 Ruri couldn’t know what the soldier had in mind when proposing that deal to her. Did she hold any special value, more than Shun did? Was this a trap all over again? It could have very well been such. She had to exert the utmost caution as she went through with the deal, thinking it over and over. Was she ready to bet for her brother to bail her out of there once he’d be freed? Was she ready to trust a pure stranger, a dangerous one of that, with such a thing?

As the answer kept getting more and more uncertain in her mind, she noticed Shun talk to her through lip movements, something they had learnt together to communicate more easily between themselves. “Don’t you dare do that,” he told her with cold irises and blood still trickling from the fresh cut. He didn’t wince, didn’t let the sting show, just continued speaking to her in a silent voice, “don’t you dare, Ruri”.

 “You’re sure you’ll really let him go?”

“What more do you need as a proof?”

She made a step forward, judging his reaction, hoping she was jeopardizing the already-tense situation. The soldier, much to her surprise, actually took the blade further from Shun’s neck, but that wasn’t without the latter reacting with far less appreciation, continuing with the silent scolds, “don’t do that, Ruri, don’t do that”. She couldn’t let her lips move, otherwise she’d betray her cover and ruin her attempts. This was her, no, their only chance. She couldn’t mess it up.

“So, you’ve decided? You against him?”

She didn’t respond, attempting not to show the slightest indication as to the contents of her hand, yet still got close enough to him to be in range to do something. Responding would betray either her true intentions or her brother; she simply couldn’t take that risk. She was already bluffing as is, having to bear her heart threatening to pulverise her ribcage from the inside and the slight wave of nausea covering the insides of her throat. There was no need to put everything at risk for what could be nothing.

 But she had forgotten Shun had a mind on his own, a mind that was definitely bent on protecting others and acting on his own.

 Events and twists unfolded at a speed so intense that she was barely able to keep up. Her brother grabbed the soldier’s armed wrist with his own hand, trying to make him discard it on the floor by violently shaking it, somewhat arriving to accomplish that until, before both sibling could realize that was happening, someone had been stabbed, blood pouring from an abdominal wound. Due to the similar size of the two men in front of her, she was unable to guess whose blood it was, who had been injured; but things were happening much too quickly for her to guess that with exactitude. Instead, the soldier kicked her brother in the stomach, making him drop to his knees, the knife falling onto the ground with a droplet of red jumping as it did so, splatters on the dirty ground, and a flash of light blinded her.

 When her eyes opened again, the only things left for her to see were the discarded knife and her brother, exhaling a shuddering breath, on his knees but almost falling from that poor balance, a hand on the ground, and a card right next to him.

 Feeling a terror rising that she didn’t quite understand, Ruri rushed to her brother’s side, kneeling right next to him. The card was what she had thought it to be: Shun had carded someone, presumably in self-defence. Considering how strong he was in hand-to-hand combat, her fear grew wider, until she noticed a hand on his left side, clutching his coat, crimson dripping between his fingers. Pearls of sweats were appearing on his face, his breath seeming even more fragile as heard from up-close.

 “B-brother, you’re bleeding…!” she exhaled, half in a cry and half in a whisper. “Let me check it…”

“I’ll… I’ll be fine, Ruri. Let’s head back to the base…”

“You got stabbed, didn’t you?! You’re not fine, Shun, let me check your injury at least!”

He put his hand away from the wound, revealing a dark red, almost maroon, stain quickly expanding.

“Oh my, it’s terrible… We need to bring you back as soon as possible to the camp…”

He rose to his feet before she did, but he quickly started swaying on his, prompting her to prop his arm on her shoulders. She had seen him do it many times for Yuto and the opposite way around, she could completely manage this. Her brother had always been a featherweight, a glass cannon of sorts: she tried to make sure he didn’t get in too rough of a shape, but it was getting exponentially harder with time going and especially as the Invasion was taking place. Yet, she’d do her possible, all that she could, and that started with bringing him back to their base.

 Then she remembered something important.

“Wait, Shun.”

“What is it?”

He attempted to have a sharp tone, but it only came off as snappy.

“It’d be better if we stopped the bleeding… Could you sit down for a minute? I’m going to apply pressure on the wound.”

 He gave her a weird look, skewed even, before giving in and sitting down on a patch of debris. Ruri had taken some basic first-response lessons back before the city had been destroyed, and only improved on them afterwards, making her hands move almost on their own: she opened her brother’s coat, removed a piece of fabric she had around her waist, and applied pressure on it with all the force she could gather in her arms. Would she not have had an iron determination to save him, she’d have let herself tremble. However, in times where she was needed, she couldn’t falter, so she pressed on.

Unfortunately, Ruri had to admit something else: the wound was deep and, as such, bleeding profusely. She couldn’t stop what she now knew to be a haemorrhage, even if with her best efforts she had slowed down the flow, getting herself drenched in red.

“Can you please hold it on there for me, brother…? I wish I could do more, but that’ll have to do for now. Let’s go, okay?”

Without a vocal reply, he did as she had told him to: he put his hand over the piece of fabric, itself on the wound, and they got up, his arm still on her shoulders, walking slowly but surely towards the base.

 Because she was aware of how dimmed down Shun’s reflexes had to have been by this point, trying not to count by herself the volume of blood he had already lost, Ruri had to be sharper than ever. Her ears were focused on the potential unusual sounds that could have greeted them, her eyes were focused on her brother’s vitals, her touch felt feverish under the weight of having to care for the two of them. The streets were deserted, but that was far from meaning they were safe for anyone: an Obelisk Force soldier could have found his colleague carded and have been on the hunt for them. She had to make sure they weren’t attacked and, if they were, that they could defend themselves and get out of there.

 To be fair, she didn’t exactly remember the time she had spent walking from their base to the spot where she had found Shun taken hostage. She’d have estimated it to be around a dozen of minutes, perhaps less, perhaps more. There hardly was a way to know what time it was when exploring the wastelands, she hadn’t even thought of checking if she could check what time it was at any point.

That, sadly, didn’t prevent her from having this atrocious feeling of being slow. Their walking speed was usual fast because they were used to the ruins, but with his condition at that moment, she could have only expected to slogging through the streets. Yet, the slower they got, the harder it was for him to push himself on his two feet despite not having both her arms as support, the more anxious she got: would they make it to somewhere safe in time? They were both struggling, silent as tombs, because nobody spoke in the wastelands.

 The moment her eyes spotted a familiar camp, Ruri felt like she could have jumped out of joy. They had made it there and, judging by the fact Shun could still support himself and walk, they’d make it in time. He’d, most likely, still be alive tomorrow: but things weren’t set in stone yet. As such, she tried picking up the pace, but she kept hearing pained grunts and pants from him, sweat blistering on his face, his cut having finally stop bleeding, breathing heavily. She had no time to lose: she needed to make it to their camp as soon as possible.

Relief washed over her again when other members of the Resistance noticed them arriving and took things into their hands, but not before she almost fell, brought down by the collapse of her barely conscious brother. Relief and concern fought for dominance over her mind: on one hand, help was arriving with men and their gurney approaching them quickly, but on the other, Shun seemed miserable and on the brink of death. It could have gone either way, at that point, so she just helped them get him on the gurney and watched them run to the medic’s tent, slowly trailing behind them.

 Ruri believed herself to be someone with patience, usually and most of the time. She was hard to truly anger, albeit she was prone to being upset for someone else. The Invasion had made her a bit more apathic than before, but she remained more optimistic than most of the camp: they could see the end of the dark times if they stuck together.

While she was a firm believer of that and the virtue of being patient, she also had a sense of urgency running through her Kurosaki blood, the one she shared with her brother. Because of it, she wanted to stampede through time and not have to wait for any verdict, for any piece of news concerning his condition, if it was bettering or worsening, if he was even going to see the light of the dark days again. She couldn’t stand to lose him, after having lost most of the people she knew to Fusion’s forces. He had to make it out of there alive, for himself, for Yuto, for the others, for her.

 She started trying to find different ways to pass time. She entered and exited the tent, paced outside, observed the people around and tried to guess what they were doing with their days, went through her deck, shuffled it, looked through it again to see if she had missed details on the illustrations, then put it back into her disk before going back to pacing outside the tent. They were few enough for information to communicate quickly: most people walking past her gave her sympathetic looks, the kind you’d give to the grieving.

Exhausted by the fears nabbing at her mind, her clothes now tainted with patches of maroons and browns, she eventually resorted to sitting in the part of tent akin to the waiting room of a hospital. It wasn’t comfortable to sit on the ground or a makeshift chair as long, slow minutes passed by, people going and out, yet no feedback on her brother ever came up. In her head started flashing horrific scenarios of how he had been dead on arrival and they just didn’t know how to tell her so without having her break down in tears and drown in her own grief, listing all the reasons she could think of for his early demise. Blood loss, internal haemorrhage, shock, sceptic shock, organ failure, critical medical error, lack of supplies leading to the impossibility to treat the case.

Perhaps she had been too late. Perhaps she had been too slow and, because of her, he was dead. Maybe that, if she had given herself up to the soldier, he’d have been fine and alive… Maybe that’d have given him enough time and distraction to disarm the soldier and they’d have run far away from there, perhaps using one of Raidraptors to escape the vicinity. No, instead, she had been a dumb girl and had let him get stabbed because she hadn’t been able to stop him from going through with a dangerous and desperate plan! She only had herself to blame, and yet she could never apologize to him, and it made all matters worse, and…

 Ruri?

A gentle voice called out her name, making her snap back to reality. In her daze, she didn’t really recognize who it was, but it was a woman in her twenties or thirties, dressed in white, splatters of red covering her. She had a soft smile on her face, soft eyes looking into hers, who must have been red from all the crying she had done while waiting.

“Y-yes?” She rose on her feet, feeling a vertigo settle for a great total of three seconds. “D-do you have anything on my brother’s whereabouts?!”

“I won’t lie to you, Ruri, he was in a rough shape when he arrived there. He had already lost a lot of blood and was slowly slipping into shock,” (the knot in her throat kept strengthening: that was it, he was dead), “but I’m happy to tell you that Shun’s pulled through it.”

Tears formed in her eyes again, untamed, a whole other kind of tears that didn’t make her eyes sting.

“It’s going to take a while for him to fully recover, but he’s going to be fine, eventually.”

“C-can I see him now?”

Another smile.

“Of course. If you may follow me.”

 The medic’s tent was one of the only large ones of the camp, mostly because it had been sewn together from other tents that had been rendered unusable by assaults and the weather. Yet, it still remained somewhat small, which made it so the walk to wherever her brother was now felt short and to-the-point. To be fair, she didn’t care about what it looked like, as long as it felt as safe as possible and as long as she could see him alive and breathing… It’d be fine, all fine.

No bed nor IV to be seen in the makeshift recovery room, but calm breathing. The woman whose name she still couldn’t remember (the knot in her throat and the emotion, perhaps) had told her to warn her in case something was wrong before leaving her alone in the little space now dedicated to her sibling.

 Sitting beside the sleeping-bag-turned-impromptu-hospital-bed, Ruri was observing her brother with little fear and a foreign kind of comfort in her stomach, replacing the pit and the burning acid having churned inside for what had felt like hours. Compared to their previous endeavour, he looked peaceful, as if he had been merely asleep, even if the cloth bandage on his cheek said otherwise, although the unnatural paleness of his face still stung her to see. It couldn’t be avoided until he’d have recovered, she supposed, so she simply held one of his hand and silently rejoiced: they’d see another day together and, one day, journey to the end of the night to see the light of day and healing.

#bad things happen bingo #arc-v #kurosaki ruri #kurosaki shun #angst #hurt comfort #whump #hostage situation #stabbing #cw blood #bleeding #ruri kurosaki #shun kurosaki #brotp: birds of black blossom #bthb 1

[eledritch]

*slides into your inbox* demisexual Keith you say?? He is in my mafs fic too! I'm not sure I'm doing him justice though... Do you have any advice on how to write him?

right so this just turned into a long long post about being demi….

aw it’s v sweet of you to ask…honestly I just self-project onto Keith so hard; I identify as demi (demiromantic or demisexual we just don’t know, maybe both) and it just made a lot of sense for me the more i thought in (too much) depth about Keith’s characterization. Keep in mind that demi-ness is a spectrum and this is just my experience with it.

I guess one of the things is that Keith has this very defined sense of like, setting aside his own personal wants/needs/feelings/safety/etc for others, specifically uhh those who are very important to him (ahem SHIRO, but also applies to his BoM adventures rip Regris). And not to say that that’s a characteristic of everyone demi at all, but for me personally that really resonated in the context of feeling that my own wants/needs were unimportant/secondary/silly. 

I never knew how to talk about it, explain it, so I just kinda kept quiet. It’s weird being demi bc it’s such a ~mysterious~ gray area, and it’s hard to explain to people, especially paired with me being bi (I hc Keith as bi and demi as well). Because bisexuality has a (stupid) reputation for being synonymous with promiscuous while demisexuality is like, “i dont get what you mean are you just super picky??” and im over here like I DONT KNOW MY DUDE IT’S JUST WHAT I FEEL and i think keith would relate to that. 

bc I didn’t even know about the concept of demisexuality until I was, man, like 16 or 17 at least?? So it’s very weird growing up and knowing that your libido/sexual awakening or whatever is distinctly different from your peers and what you’re being taught. I found myself lying constantly about crushes and things like that when I was in elementary/middle school especially - all my friends would cycle through crushes with frequency that was kind of alarming and very confusing to me hahaha I was always a lot more focused on…aesthetic beauty if that makes sense? Yet I was quite aware of my own libido/changing body/kinks/whatever, they just weren’t aimed at anyone else, ya know? All that stuff was very…contained and internalized.

Like, before I really came to terms with the fact that I’m bisexual, I was struggling to explain to my best friend (who had just come out to me as bi, LMAO WE FLOCK TOGETHER) how I rarely find people sexually attractive, even if I may toy with the idea/fantasy of doing sexual or romantic things with people, usually people already close to me, those aren’t things I would ever act on or ever want to act on. I just have a very active imagination, if you haven’t already guessed. Anyway, yes, I find many people aesthetically attractive, as in I would love to draw them or take photos of them bc I just admire how they look and how they’re, uhh…put together? Sounds weird but that’s all I got haha. 

Demi Keith also makes a lot of sense to me in the context of Sheith specifically because, okay, again with the self-projecting - in all my 19 years, I’ve only had crushes on 2 people (…possibly comin up on a third rn…..), one of which was bc of an unhealthy af friendship/defensive coping mechanisms, but the other of which lasted throughout ALL of middle school and was just, REALLY INTENSE FEELING. I was (middle-school version of in love) in love with this kid, but we were friends first, and he actually found out I was smitten with him, and guess what? We actually became closer friends, and I was really content with that. And my friends all thought that was weird that I wasn’t gunning to date him and flirting/constantly all up in his business. 

But I was like, why would I do that?? He knows how I feel, we’re comfy as friends, we trust each other and talk about deep stuff, we hug and hang out and he invited me to his bar mitzvah so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ bc I felt fulfilled in that friendship with everything just being entirely platonic. Dating doesn’t hold the same appeal to me as it does for my friends and sister and the people around me. 

Additionally, I’ve never understood when people i.e. my roommates make goals that are like OK THIS QUARTER, NO BOYS, GOTTA FOCUS ON SCHOOL. bc im like um. that’s. what??? Like, I get it hahah but attraction and crushes and flings have never been that important to me and factor very little into my plans for the future. If I wanna focus on academics, I’m gonna focus on academics. And I think Keith has that same mindset, whether with academics or piloting or Voltron or BoM or whatnot. 

If a Shiro walked into my life, I would still be focusing on academics. With significantly more pining, yes, but ya know. Books before dicks (im so sorry). However, if that Shiro suddenly disappeared, damn right I would feel like my world’s axis had just shifted. Because with being demi, for me at least, we may not feel attraction very often but when we do it’s like, WHOA, BAM. Which I think is uhh also very Keith :’D

I hope that MAYBE helped??? there’s so many possible interpretations of demisexuality tbh!

#ask me things #bat boy #sheith #voltron #keith vld #flashedarrow

[gloieee]

So it Goes

I’ve been having really good days. But I’ve been discovering more of Mac Miller lately and he wrenches heartstrings in so many ways. I resonate with him so hard in certain aspects. It’s uncanny.

10.12.2019

So interesting that I was feeling this way 10.12. 2019 haha. I doubt it was that day, since I was floundering in my essay editing. But maybe it was--maybe I just thought Mac Miller was beautiful enough to take a day off from my “business” writing. I have a feeling it was 10.15. 2019 vaguely. Likely was still having some very good days then.

Life is always a roller coaster and I appreciate it, I suppose. I remember distinctly loving “So it Goes,” but not having a way to connect it to how I felt then. It’s ironic how I feel like this song matches up the most to how I feel now. Slaughterhouse Five, Kurt Vonnegut, literature, one of my first loves. So it goes. I resonate with this one so deeply right now that I think i’ll indulge myself and break it down step by step.

So it Goes- Mac Miller

You could have the world in the palm of your hand You still might drop it So it goes

I love how he highlights how precarious satisfaction, happiness, and fulfillment can be. Although there’s a sadness to dropping something that was in the palm of your hand, it reminds me that every moment is precious. Every time you feel the world there, in your hand, it’s such a blessing. It’s a gentle perch rather than something to seize. The “so it goes” reminds me that that’s maybe how it’s supposed to be. It wasn’t a mistake on my end to drop it; maybe there never was a way I could have forced it to stay there—it’s just the way it goes. And even if I’m just completely self-justifying losing things, so it goes.

And everybody wanna reach inside your pockets I tell 'em "red light, stop it" Shit, that give me more headaches than alcoholics

Hm, I bring more flavor than all the seasons Winter, spring, summer, fall, the grass is always greener 'til I cut it all Please leave me to my studies, I give you no applause My hands been countin' money, and it's hard to be the boss But somebody gotta do it (it gets so exhausting) Often with the bullshit, but, baby, I been through it Enough for the both of us So come over later and we won't let no one close to us We could be posted up Yeah

So it goes It's like, in every conversation, we the topic This narcissism, more like narcotics So it goes

Everyone knows it’s a huge statement if I say something gives me more headaches than alcoholics. I do feel like some people are reaching inside my pockets, more often than I would like. I’m giving too much. It’s odd cause I always do say “red light, stop it,” yet there must be something about myself that makes it seem like a green light. The grass is always greener till I cut it all--this sounds so much like me that I can’t even. Maybe that’s why. Def don’t appreciate how it seems like I’m the one that’s going through the bullshit, more than one person’s share. But maybe it just is the narcissism that makes me think like this.

My eyes on the enterprise Nine lives, never die, fuck a heaven, I'm still gettin' high Never mind, did I mention I'm fine 'Cause her pussy gettin' wetter when the weather dry Clementine, peelin' off and everyone get left behind I'm only 5'7'' 'cept I'm feelin' like I'm 7'5"

No relaxing, kicking back, this ain't exactly in the plan I can't get no satisfaction, goddamn They sayin' I been gone too long I could just tell 'em fuck you, but that come on too strong My god, it go on and on Just like a circle, I go back to where I'm from

I love Mac Miller’s confidence (even when he’s down). I feel it too. Yet, despite all of that of course, it never goes as planned. It’s hard to be truly happy in your choices. I haven’t been good with choices this past year or so. Guess this past year, I had choices for the first time in a while. Oddly, even though I’m consciously trying to make intentional, balanced decisions, still my god, it does go on and on, just like a circle, I’m back to where I’m from. 

Been listening to some random songs on my spotify radio, alongside my main man Mac Miller, and it’s hilarious how serendipitous it is. Fell in Love with a Girl- The White Stripes followed by Over- Syd feat. 6lack. This kinda stuff makes me laugh out loud. The most impulsive love song ever, reflected in form by how fast-paced and short the song is. It’s perfect. 

Fell in love with a girl

I fell in love once and almost completely She's in love with the world But sometimes, these feelings can be so misleading "Come and kiss me by the riverside, yeah Bobby says it's fine, he don't consider it cheating, now. Can't keep away from the girl These two sides of my brain need to have a meeting Can't think of anything to do, yeah My left brain knows that all love is fleeting

It’s hilarious cause Bobby more often than not totally does think it’s cheating. I’ve loved this song since 2015 and it’s one of those songs that leaves such an impression each time I hear it. One of those forever bops. 

I’m realizing a lot of these random songs I was listening to without really looking at the lyrics were apt in some way. It’s almost as if Spotify now predicts my life, which is some black mirror shit right there. Some petty, fleeting tidbits:

Over- Syd feat. 6lack

Safe to say, I was right You was wrong, that's okay Why would you agree if you ain't build for the drama? I know when shit ain't right You can act if you wanna, girl I don't wanna say too much And I don't wanna make assumptions But lately I've been giving no fucks We don't know what we doing love How we gon' look for help when you don't know yourself?

(As an aside, realizing that 6lack is actually amazing. I thought he was just gonna be a temporary mainstream dude with “Ex Calling” and “PRBLMS” but East Atlanta Love Letter really makes me rethink him as an artist. He says it straight and I don’t even think he’s fronting, which is amazing.)

I did fluctuate between random moments of feeling all these things, albeit of course, very briefly and not as intensely as perhaps these lyrics denote. And yes they’re petty.  But it’s more a sentiment than an actual feeling:  

Loner- Kali Uchis

I just gotta put it out there And maybe it's not deliberate And I know you never asked me I don't want to be an option But if you don't want me now No, boy, I don't want you later Don't try to come and eat with me

Superficial Love- Ruth B.

You're really cute I must admit But I need something deeper than this Baby if you want me, then you better need me 'Cause I'm so done, not being your number one And if you wanna keep me then you better treat me Like a damn princess, make that an empress

This song is a subtle reminder of course that once I’m ready for something, I should be treated like an empress. We forget that sometimes.

I can feel you on my lips all the time But I just wanna feel you in my heart and on my mind

Actually so interesting cause this song is pointedly not how I feel in some ways. Makes me wonder whether what I want is superficial love. Which leads me to:

The Need to Know- Wale feat. Sza

Tryna keep it low Keep 'em on that need to know Tell everybody that we're just friends But to be honest that platonic shit's for TV shows

I'm not tryna pressure you Just can't stop thinkin' 'bout you You ain't even really gotta be my boyfriend I just wanna know your name And maybe some time, we can hook up We can hang out, we can just chill

Again, this song made me laugh today. A causal relationship maybe should be physical, yet here/there we are/ were. 

I know Fletcher means it more seriously and ironically (for good reason), but at the end of the day, despite all the bits of emotion I feel, in the best sense, it’s all love, in the most truly millennial diffusion-of-conflict way possible (All Love- Fletcher).  And to be honest, whatever this is (cause love is a grossly inappropriate word, just a good filler) is just a feeling (Love is Just a Feeling- Joey Badda$$). I was and am def more in the camp of Stwo and Jeremih, (Neither Do I- Stwo and Jeremih) and Drake currently to begin with, so it’s really all good in the end. 

The Motion- Drake

It's not me and you, it's not me it's you Say you're moving on, well, I guess that's just the motion I guess that's just the motion

Yeah, looking back on it, at least my pride is intact 'Cause we said "no strings attached" and I still got tied up in that Try being with somebody that wanna be somebody else I always thought she was perfect when she was being herself Don't even know how to help, but I guess that's just the motion, yeah She'll probably come around Soon as I settle down, that's the motion Oh-oh, I guess that's just the motion

Definitely have some doubts cause platonic shit’s for TV shows, but internally, I feel more settled. Having let it all out and explored all my petty fleeting roller coaster emotions these past few weeks, ultimately, I feel like it was actually a good learning experience, and a reminder of some things I value about myself. It’s a reminder to keep growing, to keep understanding myself, and to know my worth, which may have been a bit hazy these past few months on so many fronts. It’s hard in the moment, but if I look within myself, this is what I wanted and what I had been saying all along. It’s something I’ve never been able to fully execute before and really wanted to this time around, so I’m excited that that’s finally happening. And at least I do have some soft spots to look back on (If The World Was Ending- JP Saxe, Julia Michaels).

I’m excited to be more myself. So it goes, in the best way.

10.26.2019

[kiramekisakurai]

Takumi, Odin and Xander? I like reading what people think about Xander, lol.

Hello! Likewise; reading about Xander has almost become a pastime of its own for me as of late. :P Interesting stuff. -And now, here’s a very long post.(^_^)

1. How I feel about him/her

Thiiiis guy. At first, I couldn’t help but be annoyed when he wouldn’t freely give me his trust as all the other Hoshido siblings had, (then Xander came along, and) but should I have been in his place, what would I have done? Excellent question. Considering the placement of events he wouldn’t have been quite old enough to remember Corrin, and will have already had his own reasons to bear distrust (more explanation below with sibling relationships).

He’s a slow-burning character with development (and flaws, which make him all the more easy to relate with), more so than the other Hoshidan royals, as far as I’d noticed at this moment.

2. Who I ship him/her with romantically

I ended up marrying him to Azura in Revelations, but I’m not quite sure why; I want to say it’s because when I played Birthright first had saw her heal him with her song, I was quite moved and kept this alternate storyline point in the back of my mind.

3. Who I ship him/her with platonically

Leo. 8| They’re frenemies and hate different things for the same reasons, but sometimes hate the same things and that’s how they bond.

4. What do I like about this character

There’s a lot to love about Takumi, from my perspective. He’s got the burden on him of being the younger sibling, always standing in the shadows of his older brother (much like his Nohrian equivalent, Leo), and as a result may sound like he has a somewhat jaded outlook on certain things at times in addition to being overly competitive as well as a perfectionist. While I don’t have siblings, I do have peers and often feel as though I’m “shrouded by the shadows of my predecessors” in different circumstances, but am often told I have nothing to worry about because there’s only one me, much like there’s only one Takumi. Besides, Takumi is the one who often saved me during many missions. :’D

His endearing fatherly relationship with his son(s) is also fantastic too (which in my case, is both Shigure and Kiragi).

5. Would I marry this character

When I play through Birthright once again, I very well may marry him (but it’s a tough choice, because there’s also Jacob, who I also adore).

6. What would I do if this character was real

I’d tell the poor guy to chill a little, but I’m a 100% pure®︎, verified✔️non-confrontational™️person by circumstance. Regardless, I might want to try to approach him to make small-talk (unusual for me!) but knowing him, I’m sure he’d give me his Tacomeat Face®︎ and take wide strides to avoid me thinking I’m Nohrian based on the way I dress and my general disposition.

1. How I feel about him/her

He reminds me of all the kids I used to hang out with back in middle school, junior high, and high school who were involved with band but also regularly brought their entire Pokémon/Yu-Gi-Oh!/Digimon/Magic card decks to school with them to duel/show off. They somehow also memorized every artillery, weapon, and aircraft used by the US and German military during WWII and could emulate sounds for each one of them. Oftentimes, they had a disposition to speak in role-play (they did that too), but excelled in both school and in social life. I did not always know what they were talking about when they went on their great digressions, but I always listened; in return, they listened to my digressions of similar interests. Many of them have gone off to become writers, software designers, public representatives, and actors. These people, each and every one of them, resonate with me as the Odins of my childhood.

2. Who I ship him/her with romantically

I had no idea who to marry this guy to, since “aching blood” seemed too strong for many, but Selena ended being a great match for him! Coincidentally enough, I was just asked about Selena and talked about this a little while ago.

3. Who I ship him/her with platonically

His “retainer buddy” Niles, because someone has to balance sinnamon rolls with cinnamon rolls.

4. What do I like about this character

I implicitly and talked about this in a nostalgic way back in the first prompt, but this guy reminds me of childhood acquaintances, which reminds me of simpler times, as a result.

Here’s something curious: during the A support conversation with the Avatar, Odin finally comes up with a name for his incredible pose, which just so happens to be “Shadow Glitter.” Alright, so this doesn’t sound so spectacular for me to mention on the surface, one would think, but it is. You see, he named it after me. Yup, it’s true. More specifically, he named it after my in-game character, Kirameki (キラメキ), which means “glitter.” I didn’t even know of this support when I named my character. Goodness, I’ve used “Kirameki” for years (look at my blog’s name, after all). It’s coincidental, but I think it’s adorable and made me really smile that day, which I needed x100.

5. Would I marry this character

I’m not sure, but there’s always a chance.

6. what would i do if this character was real

We’d probably become fast (platonic) friends interested in pretty similar things, but he would do most of the talking, I’m afraid!

1. How I feel about him/her

I apologize in advance, yet I couldn’t help but get a little personal here. It’s not often I find a character with whom I can relate with on such a deeply personal level, down to the very point that it’s physically and emotionally painful (which I admit is embarrassing, but hey I’m going through some rough times and ¯\_(ツ)_/¯), but here one is.

H o w e v e r . There are several stark contrasts between him and I, mostly surrounding the circumstances of immediate family: I have no siblings, and have an excellent relationship with both my parents, which is stronger than any bond I’ve shared with anyone else in this life I’ve lived. They’re also my best friends, after all. In some ways, I’m as much “their retainer” as they are “my retainers.”

Furthermore, I was born more like Leo: school came easy for me, and I continue to excel without too much of a struggle (but of course, grad school does indeed require more work). Because of this, however, here’s where the likeness to Xander comes in: being an only child, being the first-generation to go to and graduate from college, being the first in the entire family to go to grad school, living around resentful family members who wish for your ruin, and finally the lament of your own by-gone dreams ever lingering on the edges of your mind can make you feel like a battle-worn crown prince/ss. Like Xander, it has fallen upon me, partly due to my own aspirations but somewhat by fate, to shoulder heavy responsibilities which may ultimately overwhelm me —and like Xander again, he doesn’t know who or what he has to turn to, only that it is HE who must overcome it all to fulfill his oath. What a feeling.

2. Who I ship him/her with romantically

On a lighter note, Corrin. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ I’ve been reading so much cute, fluffy doujinshi over on Pixiv, you have no idea

3. Who I ship him/her with platonically

I adore the strong bond he shares with his siblings; I’ll never know what that feels like, and it’s such a dear thing [insert the adorable and incredibly well-done Nohr sibling group hug fan art here].

4. What do I like about this character

Yet again, I spent the first prompt talking about this a little bit, but let’s see if I can get some new information flowing.

He’s awkward. We can tell he’s not comfortable getting out of his teeny-tiny comfort zone (“elbow-room?! What elbow-room!? Referring to one of his skills), but dear goodness, does he try. He tries for his loved ones, for his country, and for the good of the future. But he’s still so awkward at making small talk, it’s adorable; I get second-hand embarrassment and realize I’m hypocritical feeling this way considering I’m terrible at small talk too; “let’s talk business or let’s adjourn so I can do more business elsewhere.”

He’s genuine. Long story short, he’s got no time to be anything but, again, for his loved ones and his kingdom.

He’s respectful, —to both his friends (no matter the social rank) and foes. Regardless of the odds, he’s as diplomatic and respectful as he can be under the nasty circumstances.

He’s a workaholic, much to his own undoing. (Hey look, I too am one and also don’t know when to stop. What a coincidence.) Note: while useful, this is not always a good trait and is one which can be very, very easily taken advantage of. He’s found himself at the mercy of this situation often, much like I have, as many of us have.

He’s highly intelligent, yet often oblivious (especially in commoners’ ways, thanks to his early sheltered life).

He’s apparently got great handwriting, which for me is a treasure; I too take pride in my handwriting, and really liked reading this little note about him. (*^_^*)

He’s not just another cold, cardboard, bland, stoic, big brother stock character added to the story. Instead, he’s got a story of his own which he’s willing to share, while he listens to yours and even attempts to offer some advice. (I’m remembering his support logs with Hinoka, Sakura, Kaze, Mozu, and Felicia here).

He’s pretty (/^/ω/^/)

5. Would I marry this character

I did. Twice. And I’ve only played all three games once so far. c:

10/10 would marry again

6. What would I do if this character was real

[Kirameki.exe stopped working. Please contact system administrator for assistance.] Which is strange, considering he’s not quite my type in the physical sense, albeit quite close. Fun (but unchecked) facts: if he was indeed real, he’d easily be more than 12in (30.5cm+) taller than me. That’s more than enough reason for my graphics driver to crash, amirite? *ba dum tshh*

Levity aside, and should I already have a good idea of what his real-life personality is like based on the games (rock-solid logic, here), I really would “want to get to know him better” in not quite yet in the ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) way (yeah yeah I know what you’re thinking), but rather in a friendly manner. He’d make a warm companion, and I admit that it would be nice to finally share with someone these aspirations and pains. I would just hope he’s more forthcoming than I am and also approach me somehow, considering I’m far more shy than I sound here.

#thank you!! #Evangeline-Noir #long post #post #hmm lost a follower #¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[kikumerio]

dear yuletide author

dear yuletide author,

first of all, i'm so sorry this ended up so late, and thank you very much for your patience! without further ado:

my single most important consideration is that you write something you're excited to write – that's where all the best yuletide fic comes from, anyway! – so just remember that you should feel free to disregard any and all of the following if you're not feeling it. i mean this, some of the best exchange gifts i've ever gotten have been passion projects that had nothing to do with anything i would have thought of to put in a letter. but if you're looking for somewhere to start brainstorming--

stuff i like in general: loyalty, small gestures that speak loudly, unspoken feelings, loyalty, tropes, meta-tropes, and loyalty. my other internet footprint is at @snowshoe if you're looking to get a sense of me outside of, um, sports anime.

frontier wolf: i am alllll about alexios/hilarion, for reasons above, but if you're not into slash, i'm very into that intense platonic dynamic ("the Sutcliff", if you will) as well. i could read 431843904 takes on post-series fic and never get tired of it – oh wait, i have! – or ditto for hilarion's backstory if you want to focus on just one of the two of them. (which is fine with me.) i would also love to read place fic – whether that place is valentia or belgica is up to you – and/or winter fic. i really admire how well Sutcliff fandom does both of those things, so if you are looking for a chance to dig into the setting… here it is.

i don't usually think in terms of AUs in this fandom but if you have an exciting idea my ears are open! (the one exception is – bear with me here, this is weirdly specific – years ago i read carmarthen's eagle of the ninth historical reenactment au and immediately thought, wow, what is the crew from frontier wolf up to in this 'verse, how on earth did alexios RUIN AN SCA CHAPTER. i don't know enough about reenactment to do this convincingly myself but if you do…) (please don't feel you have to do this.)

note: this section is shorter than the others not because i'm less excited about it but because the source material more strongly for itself, and the fandom has more recent activity (i.e., it actually exists). i trust you already. :)

here is greenwood/koko wa greenwood: god, it's been so long! i check this tag every so often in the vain hope someone out there is thinking about this, so if we matched on this, know you are making my year.

the mitsuru/shinobu dynamic – i could write ten thousand words on this. i ship it, of course, but it's not exclusively a ship thing. for a Wacky Boarding School Hijinx comedy manga, the extent to which mitsuru… saves… shinobu… is so poignant. (the apartment rental scene, end me.) that's one of the things i really love about greenwood as a whole, that juxtaposition of increasingly wild settings and schemes with bits of emotion played straight that resonate even more because of it. romantic or platonic – it almost doesn't matter – mitsuru's importance to shinobu is so critical. (and that is the axis i tend to get hung up on so if you want to write about the role shinobu plays for mitsuru, please! because there is plenty to chew on there.) the way shinobu is so incredibly sure that this "shelter from the rain" can't last, and that that's never explicitly countered in the manga but the note it goes out on is, they're going on to university together, so… maybe. maybe.

breathes. having said that, outside of that black hole of feelings, i'm also super interested in the tezuka family and associates in general. the dynamic between shinobu and noriko is so fascinating, and hasn't been explored too much. i would read a deep dive into their relationship – platonic, sexual, probably pretty messed up no matter what – in a heartbeat. i just deleted a whole paragraph about how greenwood is a metaphor for japanese society during the bubble economy, so i'll just say: the manga ended the year the bubble burst. greenwood meets the 90s, i'd read it.

i just wrote um a lot about mostly shinobu, but of course the charm of greenwood is the clown car ensemble cast, and dorm hijinks or reunion hijinks (greenwood dousoukai!) or a typical Scheme gone awry – or all too right? – would be absolutely delightful. seriously, you cannot possibly go wrong in this fandom. now brb gotta go listen to "amayadori" another twenty thousand times.

haikyuu stage rpf: i nominated this and i have the sneaking feeling i am the only person who requested or offered it, so if we matched on this (or if you're browsing pinch hits and this interests you), please PLEASE let's be friends. but desperate appeals aside.

i nommed kazuma, kouhei, hiroki, and keita. but like. you can write whoever you want to. (kenta, tatsunari, takato, shouri, the dear departed hirata yuuya, literally anyone.) i ship: kazuma/kouhei, keita/hiroki, yuuya/kousuke (leave me alone), takato/shouri, ryousuke/kairi, etc ad infinitum. i platonically ship kenta/tatsunari, like, they are not best friends but they clearly trust and respect each other so much? claws at the carpet. (if you wanted to take it to a non-platonic place, be my guest, it's so pure i can't do it in my head, but i trust you.)

kazuma/kouhei: i mean! look at them! they mean so much to each other! kouhei made kazuma cry during curtain calls. literally every hajimari no kyojin interview/blog post/whatever is about how amazing kazuma is and how supportive kouhei is. kouhei's band, in which kazuma guests so often he's called a "regular". plus, it's a classic beauty and the bro dynamic.

keita/hiroki: it is one of the great tragedies of my life that hiroki left the cast JUST AS keita came back. like. @ god, why. this ship is definitely uhhhh based on my deep social media analysis that ino hiroki is super thirsty. and, i mean, who could blame him! they went on overnight onsen trips. i'm just saying. (my headcanon is also that kazuma is Into It, "it" being the sheer aesthetic perfection of tanaka keita, on a physical level. then he started all these mushy emotional Feelings about kouhei, what the shit, kouhei's not even his type!! …hi.)

AUs: any of them. all of them. please. go wild.

i run a haikyuu stage tumblr with a bunch of interview translations and event reports and uploads over at @shoushatohaisha, if you need some material. i'm going to try and get the hajimari no kyojin stuff, which is where kazuma really comes into his own, up as soon as i get my dvd, and i have assorted hnk reports and translations up already.

*

thank you, again, for your patience in waiting for this letter, and for writing any of these three incredibly rare fandoms. i am so, so excited to read whatever you write!

#yuletide 2k18 #fic exchange