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#as long as i have something to present it doesn't matter i don't care if i pass anymore i just don't want him to yell at me again bc i
ebonytails · 23 days
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maybe im just dumb but what is the difference between kris p and kris t?
TL;DR - They are Kris Dreemurr fictives and we needed a way to differentiate them
Oh you're not dumb, don't worry! It really is a little confusing because we haven't talked about who they or we are in a very long time. I'm going to talk a lot here so you have all the context you might need! If it''s too long,, the TL;DR above is the gist of it.
For context, we are a system! You can read about it a little in our FAQ
Kris T and Kris P are TWO Kris introjects/fictives of Kris Dreemurr from Deltarune in our system.
Originally we just had Kris T who split in Dec 2018, and then when Chapter 2 came out, Kris P came into our system after that. Of course at first, Kris T. was just "Kris", but since we had a double now, we had to figure out how to differentiate between the two. We knew another Kris fictive from a different system at this time who was nicknamed P. Kris by Susie in our system, and susie wanted to emphasize who she was talking about.
SO. As a small nod to that, everyone decided to nickname Kris P as Kris P, as an inverse of P. Kris.
A little convoluted, I know!
Besides being Kris introjects/fictives though, they also look different! I made some new drawings to try and showcase their differences if that helps :3?
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Their dark world forms also look different. Kris T's is simpler, with a shiny soft cape, while Kris P's is more complicated with a hooded cape, which is also described as "very comfortable"
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Here's a whole Toyhouse of images of how Kris T. looks like right now! There's also his reference ! vvv
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Sorry if you weren't interested in our "life story"! They're not just random characterizations (they are alters), so I wasn't sure how to answer w/o giving you some sort of explanation.
They have their own sideblogs, so if you have specific questions directed towards them, you can always ask here because we'll see it better, or you can send them an ask in their own blogs. Kris T's is @kristalpepsi, and Kris P's is @itswhattheycallyou
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mishkakagehishka · 1 year
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Hate being forgetful actually
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xan-from-space · 2 months
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Senshi is probably the most fandomized character in Dungeon Meshi, and while I don't exactly mind it, I do think he has more depth than that. I find all his little quirks and idiosyncrasies to be fascinating; he's very stubborn and set in his ways about things that seemingly don't matter, he thinks about things that other people don't, he has a deeply set value system that informs everything he does. He cares A Lot, like, this man cares So Much. That's the kind of person you have to be to drop everything to help a random group of adventurers save one woman. But because he feels so strongly about things, he can also be surprisingly immature at times (although he's also the character most likely to admit he was wrong about something). I think part of that is because he's lived in the dungeon on his own so long that he's not used to working with other people. He will extend empathy and friendship to almost anyone, but he does things his own way, and he doesn’t always feel the need to explain his way of thinking because again, he's usually on his own. He's both incredibly wise and kind of childish in ways that seem contradictory at first, but make more and more sense the more we learn about him. Major kudos to Ryoko Kui's writing and pacing to make that transition so seamless and have all those details from his backstory click into place perfectly. And on a wider thematic level, Senshi is kind of a perfect counterpart to characters like Thistle (or any other dungeon lord). Senshi understands the dungeon in ways that even its creator doesn't. Although everyone is scrambling to take control of the dungeon, Senshi is the one who actually takes care of it. He's the one who thinks about things like nutrition and proper sleep and the ecosystem, all those things that it's easy to ignore when you get swept up by the grandeur of it all. He's the most important character to have present in a story that explores life and death and hunger. His constant, invisible presence holds everything together.
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peachypinkygloss · 8 months
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dior girl ✰ park jimin
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Park Jimin is one of a kind. When he wants something, he gets it, no matter how hard it can be. He's not scared to get his hands dirty. If he had any morals, maybe he'd consider his obsession with you getting out of hands. But this man has absolutely no morals.
୨୧ pairing: designer!jimin x model/fem!reader
୨୧ genre: strangers to lovers, age gap (21 & 38), smut, slight angst
୨୧ word count: 8.1k
୨୧ warnings: unrealistic depiction of the fashion industry, alcohol consumption & mention of drugs use, manipulation & corruption, jimin isn't a good person (especially not to oc lol <3), violent sexual thoughts, jimin's a sadist (my fav headcannon :D), heavy dom/sub dynamics, hard dom!jimin, unprotected vaginal & anal sex, anal play (use of a buttplug), my new headcannon: jimin likes giving anal, dacryphilia, praising & degradation, oral sex (m), face fucking, aftercare ig because yes jimin's a sadist but he still has a heart.
a.n.: yup so idk if you guys were expecting that... but i did say none of the characters were ethical lmfao so 🤷🏻‍♀️ i really, really hope you like the first part, i've worked hard on it even though it's not super long. so please, reblog and tell me what you thought about it! <3 as always, don't like, don't read.
[dior girl moodboard] ["older" masterlist]
His studio is his sanctuary. It's the only place in the world he can spend hours in without even noticing the moon setting or the sun rising. In his studio it feels like the time doesn't exist or that it's just a futile detail that doesn't have much importance.
When he's creating a piece, nothing around him matters. The only things he's willing to give attention to are the placements of the needles on the fabric, the little lines that form the pattern of the clothing, and the way his scissors cut through the satin material of the dress he's designing.
He's thought about this design for so long and he finally got the opportunity to make it. He's thought about the colours of the dress and also of the seam, about the length of the hem and the sleeves, how deep the neckline should be and if lace would be suitable.
He doesn't even recall how many sketches he's made of the dress. At some point it was consuming his entire mind, this dress the only design he could draw and think of.
Now that he's finally creating it, he has the feeling that it's going to be the best piece he's ever made. He already sees everyone talking about it, saying how much of a genius Park Jimin is. It's going to be the design of the year — of the century.
He still misses something, though, and it might be the most important part of the design. He needs a model, the perfect body to wear his piece and present it to the fashion world.
It can't be anybody, it must be someone who's confident, who always has their head up and who radiates elegance and sports a unique beauty.
Jimin still hasn't found this person. He constantly searches for them, but never finds them or when he thinks that he has, he discovers flaws he cannot unseen.
All the Dior models are great, but not enough. They don't spark anything in Jimin when he watches them strode down the catwalk. He's checked upon the apprentices and the newer models the company has hired, but he saw no one extraordinary.
Until today.
He hears steps against the wooden floor of his studio, entering the place without knocking. "Ah, there he is!" A manly voice exclaims, Jimin immediately recognizes it as his friend's, Sungwoon. "I have someone to introduce you."
Jimin raises his gaze up from his working table and looks at Sungwoon who's accompanied by a beautiful, young woman. He's then suddenly interested, contrary to usual where he doesn't really care about the many girls Sungwoon brings, claiming each one as the new phenomenon of the fashion industry.
When Jimin turns around, he eyes you up and down, barely glimpsing in Sungwoon's way. It's all it takes, one simple glance and he knows you're the one he needs — the one he wants and has to ruin.
Sungwoon introduces you both and when your name is pronounced by the man, sounding so charming and delicate, he's certain you're the model he had been waiting for since a long time.
You seem shy, arms locked behind your back, but you stand up straight and have a polite smile drawn on your face.
"I thought maybe you'd like to get to know each other, right?" Sungwoon raises his eyebrows in Jimin's direction. "Everyone's fond of her," he smiles and pats your back, encouraging you to speak up.
"Thanks," you smile back at Sungwoon before glancing back at Jimin who still hasn't looked away from you. "I've been a big fan of your work since I was a little kid, Mr. Park. You've inspired me to become a model."
The way you say his name has his cock twitching in his pants, filthy thoughts of him spanking your butt while you cry his name invading his mind.
He can sense your vulnerability, your willingness to submit. Who would he be to deny you that? Him, who is so eager to dominate the ones he's attracted to, to break but also repair them.
He knows it when someone's fragile, hiding their weaknesses under fake confidence. He doesn't know you, but he recognizes the pattern almost instantly. What can be broken can also be repaired and you're asking him to break you.
"I'm glad to hear that," Jimin says politely, a slight smile tugging on his lips. He's not the type to smile — stretch the corner of his mouth upward to imitate the person in front of him, he finds it useless. But for you, he'll do it, just so you trust him because you're so desperate to give yourself to the opposite sex.
"Park, you were wondering who'd be part of the fall show this year," Sungwoon begins, looking at you like you're the most irradiant ruby in the world. "Well, you have her in front of you." You giggle softly at the man's words, nodding your head at him and then looking at Jimin as if waiting for some praises.
Jimin faintly smiles, seeing your eyes glimmering and he curses himself for not finding you first. You'd have been his by now, his to praise, to kiss, to fuck, to destroy. But he swears, if he happens to break you, he'll gratefully keep you safe close to him.
๑♡՞
T H E N
"Careful," Jimin softly says as he catches you up from falling on the floor. You let out a high pitched laugh, as if all of this is a big joke, and push him back with a hand on his chest.
"I'm fine," you answer, shrugging him off with a flip of your hand. You stagger from left to right, leaning against the wall when you almost fall a second time. You laugh it off again, halting your steps.
Jimin looks at you with a cringe expression, eyeing the people behind, sporting worried looks on their faces.
You all went out after the show; models, designers, directors, stylists... everyone. It wasn't your plan to get drunk, Jimin knows that because you're not supposed to drink alcohol since you're on a very strict diet. A glass from time to time isn't so bad, but your consumption clearly surpassed just one glass tonight.
It's not really your fault, though. Technically yes, since you're the one who swallowed all of the glasses of wine, but you had a little help.
A little help from Jimin himself.
When you weren't looking, he poured more alcohol in your glass and to his satisfaction you've noticed nothing and gulped everything. Sure, you got a bit suspicious, wondering how you had only drank so little when you remembered swallowing more than that.
But Jimin assured you it was only your first glass, so you drank, and drank, and drank... Until you were more than tipsy.
You've received nasty looks from your colleagues, especially the other models who weren't drinking a single drop of wine, and yet, still weren't awarded with the status of the 'face of Dior'. How ironic that the drunkest girl in the room was the face of Dior and the little protégée of Mr. Park.
Years and years of training, countless sleepless nights, meals that are as nutritious as birds seed... All of the efforts in the world to have your biggest dream stolen by a model who is in the industry for less than six months.
Their rage is understandable, but Jimin couldn't care less. In fact, everything is going as planned and he can't fuck things up now. No, because if he does, all of the things he has done until now will be completely irrelevant.
"I'll... I'll bring her to our room, you can go out without us," Jimin announces, watching you sit down on the floor in the middle of the corridor.
"Will she be okay?" A stylist asks.
"Of course. I'll take care of her."
He waits for everyone to be gone before he gets you up from the floor and leads you both to your hotel room. When you're in the room, he sits you down on the bed.
You don't say anything as he takes off his jacket and loosens his tie. He crouches down in front of you to remove your heels and he does the same with his shoes, leaving them at the entry.
When he comes back, he sees you quietly crying, the features of your face contorting into a sad expression. You've slightly sobered up, harshly coming back to reality, realizing how much you've embarrassed yourself tonight.
"What did I do?" You ask, looking up at him with teary eyes. "I fucked up, didn't I?"
Jimin sits down beside you, lifting your head up with his index under your chin and his thumb over it. "There's nothing that can't be repaired," he states in a soft voice, so low it sounds like a sweet whisper — a secret, a confession only you can hear. "Right?"
You sniff, wiping your tears away. You nod your head in agreement, slightly reassured, hoping Jimin will fix your mistakes. Your foolish mistakes, done by the carefree of a twenty-one year old.
"Shh, baby, shh," he softly murmurs, cradling your head in his hands and gently laying your face against his chest. You wrap your arms around his waist, hugging him tighter and tighter til suffocation.
He strokes your hair delicately, placing a sweet and warm kiss on the top of your head.
Someone as vulnerable as you contains a lot of emotions. He has to deal with them, which doesn't bother him at all. He wants you the way you are; sad and pitiful.
"Everything's going to be fine," he promises, but it's not entirely the truth. Not everything will be fine, though it'll be in the end, he thinks — he hopes.
You eventually pull away from his embrace, just enough to look at him. It seems like you're searching for something or maybe waiting for something, your eyes desperately staring at Jimin as if his simple presence will make all of your problems fly away.
You throw yourself at him and kiss him on the lips, fingers pulling on the hair at the nape of his neck. He reciprocates it, knowing you like your kisses sloppy and messy, wanting Jimin everywhere on you to remind you that he's always there.
You bring him closer, crumpling the material of his white shirt between your fists, moaning and whining as your teeth clash together at how roughly you kiss each other.
Jimin breaks your exchange first, both catching your breaths. His eyes observe you quietly as you look at him like you're still waiting for something.
"Did you do what I told you to?" He questions you, referring to your conversation of a few days when you came to his studio to try on his dress.
You were a bit stressed out, putting on the clothing like you were scared you'd rip it. He still remembers the way the satin was sliding up your body, hugging your waist and ass perfectly. He was baffled at how incredibly well it suited you as if he had made it exactly for you.
And maybe it was made for you, after all.
Because when he saw his creation on you, he knew you had to wear it for the runway. It has to be you, he'll accept no one else.
Jimin will make you walk the runway wearing his dress — the last time you'll ever step on the catwalk. After that, he'll keep you away from the rest of the world. He'll refuse anyone to see you because you're going to be his.
His forever.
"Yes," you nod your head, trapping your bottom lip between your teeth.
"Tell me what you did," Jimin softly demands, holding your chin in his hand, mouths inches away from each other.
You're too shy to say it out loud and that's why he wants you to tell him. Also to be sure you did everything correctly, but mainly because he wants to see you embarrassed.
"I prepared myself for you..." You begin, holding eye contact even though you feel your face heating up just thinking about all the things you've done per his request. "I... I used lube both on me and... the toy," you continue in a shy tone, so low Jimin wouldn't hear you if he wasn't so close.
"Where on you, sweetheart?" He interrupts, wanting each detail, each little thing you normally wouldn't have done if it wasn't for him. And all while thinking of him.
You swallow, "On my ass, Jimin," you answer in a whisper. "I stretched it out for you, using the toy like you told me," you finally admit.
"Good girl," Jimin purrs. "Let me see it then."
You proceed to strip off of your dress, now used to be nude in front of him, and slide your panties down your thighs, discarding them away on the floor.
You get back up on the mattress and position yourself on all fours close to the edge of the bed. Jimin stands up and goes behind you to have a closer look at your ass.
His veiny hands pull your cheeks apart, revealing your rim to his insatiable, sadistic eyes. You glance over your shoulder, curious of what he has in mind and what he has prepared for you.
You softly gasp when he spits and lets the globe of spit drip down between your asscheeks, rolling over your puckered hole. You clench around nothing, relieved to have his attention, to finally feel his hands on you instead of the usual touch of yours.
He sees that your ass is a bit looser than the last time he saw it, but it still clearly needs more preparation to welcome his girthy cock — though it's not like he cares that much if you're prepped enough or not.
He passes his thumb over your tight muscle, circling it and smearing his saliva over it. He wants to fuck it so bad, destroy it and do unbelievably violent things to you. Should he tonight? Should he show you his dark and evil side?
He's choked you before — smacked your ass hard til you felt your skin stings, overstimulated you to the point your orgasms were just spasms passing through your body, fucked your throat while you were drooling all over yourself, and tied your legs and wrists together to restrict your movements.
So fucking your ass can't be that bad, but the thing is Jimin wants it to be bad. He then wonders what would happen if the line is ever crossed. Would you endure it, would you defend yourself? Would you shut the fuck up and take it like you're asked to?
But you trust him so much — with all your pathetic being — and he thinks you'd let him cross any lines he desires to. He probably already has crossed multiple lines, and being the poor, sad girl that you are, you said nothing.
You truly are extraordinary.
He gives a slight slap to one of your asscheeks, groping both of them after, feeling how soft and tender your flesh is. "You did good, sweetheart," he comments in a honeyed voice that has you mewling, sounding so smooth and sweet. "How about we play with it a little?"
He lifts up a brow at you and you nod sheepishly, sinking your teeth into your bottom lip. "Yes..."
"Great," he says in a low tone, running his hands one last time over your ass before going to take something from his suitcase.
"What is it?" You question, your curious eyes landing on the small object he's holding.
Jimin brings the object to you, something made of metal, the end having the shape of a cone and a pink gem placed on the top. "A gift for my princess," he replies, opening the bottle of lube he brought as well.
He applies some lube around your tight hole and on the butt plug, and carefully pushes the head of the toy in your ass. You gasp softly, feeling it slowly stretch you out, sinking in gradually as Jimin holds your cheeks apart.
"Mmh, feels good, Sir," you moan, arching your back and pushing your butt closer to Jimin.
When the plug is all the way in, the pink gem peeking out between your two globes of flesh, he smacks your other cheek, making it jiggle from the harsh hit.
"Is that so, dirty girl?" He wonders, gripping your hips and colliding his hips with your butt, sensing his big bulge pulsing under his pants. "You like it when your little ass gets stretched out?"
"I like everything you do to me," you say with a content sigh, pussy clenching around nothing as your ass gets used to the small butt plug.
Jimin genuinely thinks he can't find better than you. You were so shy in the beginning, looking like a lost puppy wherever you went. You just needed someone bigger and older to show you the way — though you were too dumb, and still are, to realize he was leading you to the wrong path.
It's not like you seem to mind, anyway.
After all, you both got what you wanted; you, male attention, someone to rely on and be protected by, and him, a woman to break and keep with him forever.
He lets go of your hips to unbuckle his belt, pulling the leather material out of the gold loop with the luxury Dior logo on it. He lets the two ends of the belt hang off, not bothering to remove it completely, and tucks the fly of his pants down.
He finally frees his cock from the confines of his boxers, springing up and slapping against his stomach, the bit of pre-cum escaping from his tip dampening his shirt.
"You're so good to me, princess," he praises as he wraps a hand around the base of his engorged cock, aching and begging to be nestled in your cute little pussy.
His head pushes at your entrance, never fully entering, only teasing your hole and stimulating all of your sensitive nerves. He watches how his cock stretches your cunt, your walls expending to receive his bulbous tip and then closing down when he pulls out.
"Sir, please, want more," you beg him, pushing your ass on him to have his dick back in you. You let out a little whimper when Jimin holds your hips in place, stopping you from wiggling your butt side to side against his thick cock.
He hums and slaps your ass harshly, your skin stinging after. "Want my cock in your needy little pussy, baby? Is that what you're crying for?" He asks, teasing even more by swiping the head of his penis between your pussy lips, a string of your arousal sticking to his angry tip.
"Yes," you say back quickly and desperately, arching your back, literally presenting yourself to Jimin. "Been so good, don't I deserve it, Sir?" You softly murmur, still looking over your shoulder to see his gaze fixated on your quivering pussy, cock head sliding up and down over your sex.
"You do..." He responds distractedly, licking his plump lips, his fingers touching the pink gem peeking out from your ass. You're always so good and obedient for him, he even wonders if you ever did something that genuinely pissed him off before.
When he really sinks in, his head passing the barrier of your sweet pussy, he groans deeply, feeling your walls deliciously enveloping his hard cock tightly.
You moan in unison as he bottoms out in you, his balls touching your wet and warm pussy. He bends his back over yours, running his hand up your spine, feeling all the little bumps of it until he reaches your head and shoves it against the mattress.
You whine when he starts pounding into you, his girth stretching you out so well, leaving you panting and moaning loudly. His other hand holds your hip against his dick, fingers digging into your skin, leaving permanent marks on your body — as well as on your mind and your soul.
He already sets a hard and rapid pace — fucking is never soft or loving with Jimin, it's violent, long, and agonizing. It's a way to be himself, the real and dark version of himself he hides in public and releases when he gets intimate with you.
You surprisingly got accustomed to it, embracing it as if it was your destiny, the reason for your existence; to be his personal slut, the little toy he likes to play rough with. And you've accepted it, like you had no other choice but to be fucked into oblivion by Jimin whenever he feels like it.
"You like that, baby? Huh?" He growls, as if you're the disgusting one for liking the way he treats you, ravished and delighted to have his girthy cock sliding against your velvety walls. "You like it when I fuck you hard like this?" He repeats and grips your hair, pushing your head against the bed covers with more strength.
You babble out something, voice caught in your throat, too out of breath to formulate a simple sentence. You then only nod, your cheek squished against the mattress, Jimin's hand still pushing down on your head.
His mouth hangs open to let out heavy breaths and his eyes are focused on your face, watching the little translucent pearls fall on your face and on the covers. Your pussy swallows all of his girth, clenching so tightly it has him groaning and saying profanities under his breath.
It's sick how it makes his cock so fucking hard, leaking so much pre-cum in you and twitching avidly by seeing you struggle to breathe. You crumple the bed sheets between your little fists, doing everything in your power to keep your ass up for Jimin and not slump down on the bed from the hard thrusts he's inflicting on you.
He snaps his hips against your ass and the entirety of his length is covered in your wetness, a white ring made of your cream circling the base of his cock.
His hand holding your head descends to your neck, enclosing it with his fingers, the coldness of his silver rings contrasting with the hotness of your sweaty skin. He squeezes a little, just a bit so you know who's in control, so you never forget Jimin controls you — that he controls your life and thoughts.
With a grip on your hair, he brings your torso up, arched back against his chest. The material of his shirt sticks to your skin, coated in a thin layer of sweat. He continues to pound into you, his cock sliding in and out of your pussy rapidly, as he holds you by the throat, lewdly licking a long stripe along the side of your face.
You shudder in desire, hair standing up on your delicate arms. "You're my little whore, aren't you, baby?" His mouth is right beside your ear as he whispers dirty things to you, his lips touching your hair, damp at the nape of your neck. "So fucking compliant... You want to please me so bad like the slut that you are," he mouths the words against your hair, cock pulsing hard in your cunt.
His free hand that doesn't have a hold around your throat slides down your body, passing over your belly and reaching your puffy clit. The sharp zipper of his pants graces the flesh just under your ass, irritating your skin and making it itchy.
You clench around him when his digits find your sensitive bud, circling it sensually and slowly, the complete opposite of his hip thrusts.
"Yes, want to please you, Jimin," you gasp, bucking your hips at the feeling of his rough fingertips on your pussy. He grunts when you address him by his name, loving how it sounds on your tongue, so sweet and timid.
He remembers the first time you moaned his name; you were sprawled across his expensive leather couch, blindfolded and hands attached together with his black tie. Intense for your first time with him, but it was also the last time he's ever been that gentle with you.
It was when his cold fingertips graced the skin of your stomach that you let out a squeak followed by his name, said in the quietest moan. He had then stopped his movements and looked at your face, an expression of distress painted over your features.
He had realized how frail and weak you actually were, needing your most important sense to be at ease. That's why he had blindfolded you, to show you how dependent you are of him, how impossible it is for you to live without him to guide you.
He pushes your jaw to the side so your lips can meet his in a feverish kiss, wet tongues mingling together, drool dripping down from the corners of your mouth. He continues to ram his cock in your now soppy and messy pussy, the sound of skin against skin resonating in the hotel room.
He traps your bottom lip between his teeth, making you whimper and close your walls around his girth once again. Your little hands grip the material of his trousers, keeping him close and holding on to something because the hard cadence of his hip thrusts push you forward, breasts bouncing up on your chest.
"Fuck," he curses and he suddenly stops, steadying his hips against your butt. You let out a whiny moan as Jimin lets go of your face and hips.
You're sad to have your pleasure ripped away from you so hastily, but you don't have the time to complain, Jimin slipping out of your cunt and pushing you down violently on the mattress.
You turn around on your back to see him unbuttoning his dress shirt and throwing it on the floor, revealing to you his beautiful chest and defined abs. He gets rid of his pants and socks after, finally removing his boxers, the only things remaining on him being his rings and the watch crowning his right wrist.
His cock glistens in your juices, more pre-cum leaking from his swollen tip and twitching avidly against his stomach. Even though him fucking you while being all dressed and you completely bare is a way to humiliate and degrade you, he also likes to be naked sometimes.
He loves skin to skin contact, how your bodies stick together because of all the sweat coating you. It's addicting, it's rougher and it creates more friction — more pain.
He doesn't mind being naked too because he knows how to dominate you either way. He doesn't find it embarrassing, on the contrary, it makes him scarier and hungrier. While you shiver without your clothes on, curled up on yourself, Jimin is imposing, his cock thick and girthy enough to split you in half.
He crawls back to you, hovering over you like a predator had caught his prey, boring his eyes into yours. You look at him in awe, always waiting patiently. You feel his cock against your thigh, thick and veiny, your hole pathetically quivering — missing his size stretching out your pussy.
He sneaks a hand between your legs and reaches the little pink gem, ready to get it out. "Take a deep breath sweetheart," Jimin instructs and you inhale deeply.
He doesn't waste a second, pulling out the butt plug out of your ass. You scrunch your eyes shut at the pain, exhaling when it's done. He carefully sets it on the nightstand, coming back to you after.
He bends your legs over your stomach and looks at your ass, just begging him to fuck it, shining with lube and arousal that leaks from your pussy. His erect cock is just so close to it and Jimin could slide right in with one movement of his hips.
He lets go of one of your legs to grip his engorged erection, a little gasp escaping your lips when he presses the head of his cock at your tight hole, threatening to sink in.
"Sir," you sigh, not sure if you're ready for that. It always burns no matter how good you prepped before and he knows that. That's why he's so tempted, that he's staring so obsessively at your rim.
Will it hurt you? Will you grip his biceps in an attempt to dissuade him? He wants to see those tears falling from your eyes again, he wants to lick them and tastes your pain. He feels more blood rush to his penis at the mere thought of hurting you.
Give him all of your pain, he'll fucking take it whole and cherish it. He wants it — he needs it. Accuse him for having a sick and twisted mind, accuse him for everything you've ever been hurt by because he'll gladly take the blame.
"I know you can take it," he says in a low tone, glancing up at your face as he applies just a bit more pressure to your ass hole. "Can you, baby?" Jimin asks, waiting for you to admit how much you want it, how badly you want him to destroy you.
"Yes..." You whisper back, a long shiver running up your spine as his eyes pierce through you.
"Yes, what? Tell me, sweetheart," he demands, and it's as if he doesn't care about your response whatsoever because the next thing he does makes you yelp in pain.
His tip has entered you, the burning sensation forcing you to scrunch your eyes shut, your instinct thinking it'll protect you.
"Yes, I- I can..." you stutter and as expected, you dig your nails in the flesh of his biceps — only fair to hurt him in return. "I can take your cock in my ass..."
You take a sharp breath, eyes slowly opening, all watery and painful. Jimin groans at that, stuffing more of himself in your hole. "Good girl," he praises, voice raspy, ending with a deep grunt.
He stretches you out completely, his dick in no comparison to the toys you've used to prepare yourself. You open your mouth as he pushes himself in gradually, tears streaming down your face when you blink.
The tears roll down the side of your face and Jimin can't help but be turned on, leaning in to kiss your face and collect some of your tears, tasting the saltiness of them on his tongue.
"Jimin...!" You look at him with the saddest and most hurtful gaze, tears rolling down your face. "It burns," you add in a quiet voice, now scratching his back, leaving long red trails on his skin.
"I know, baby, I know," he softly murmurs in your ear, a husky moan leaving his mouth when he's completely nestled in you, balls touching your ass. "You're so tight, fuck," he sucks air through his teeth, not moving until he estimates he's waited long enough.
He gives warm and wet kisses to your neck, descending to your collarbones and groping your breasts, slowly starting to move his hips. You lock your legs behind his back, wanting him as close to you as possible despite the pain he's inflicting on you.
He loves knowing it hurts you because it makes it more pleasurable to him somehow. The pain will go away soon anyway, that's why he doesn't bother to stop or slow down. You have to get used to the feeling first.
He wouldn't go too far to hurt you. The choking, the hair pulling, the smacks... He keeps it for the bedroom, but he won't lie that there's a part of him that wants to ruin your life, ruin everything you've accomplished so far just so he can see those sad eyes of yours and hear you ask him for help out of desperation.
It's not even sexual, he just wants to break you, that's all he desires. Though your life is something he wants to destroy, it's more of a way to have you dependant on him after. If your career is no longer successful, your solution is Jimin because he's the only person in your life capable of taking care of you both emotionally and physically.
His teeth chew on the tender skin of your neck while his hand travels all over your body, many veins popping out along his strong arm. The cool sensation of his rings on your stomach makes you shiver, his finger gently circling your clit to make the pain more bearable.
His cock slides in your hole back and forth, your ass slowly but surely taking the size of girth. Many curses leave Jimin's mouth, your ass probably the best he's ever fucked. You feel so good around him, you're tight, but you loosen easily, making it so, so pleasurable for him.
His hand that was roaming over your body comes to close around your throat and he turns his head to your side, lips brushing over your temple. "Yeah, just like that, baby," he mutters under his breath, his nose pressing down on your hair as he murmurs the words to you. "Just like that..."
A choked moan is all you can respond, eyes rolling back in your skull as Jimin splits your ass open, fucking his thick cock into you. His hot breath hits the side of your face, his chest heaving rapidly while you claw at his back, white scratches appearing on his skin.
He sweetly kisses your temple as he pounds into you, not tightening his hand around your throat, just holding you in place — always letting you know that he is always in control.
Your tits slightly bounce up and down on your chest, little whines coming out of you each time Jimin bottoms out. It starts feeling good for you — really good — and you think that this pleasure is totally worth a bit of pain at the beginning.
You grip the hair at the nape of his neck and bring him in for a kiss. He accepts it, kissing you back as if he wants to possess your whole mouth, biting and licking your lips. You moan into his mouth, twisting his hair between your fist and sinking your nails into the flesh of his back.
He backs away from you a little, his plump lips glistening in both of your saliva, and places his two palms on your boobs. He feels your perky nipples under his hands, just loving how plushy your breasts are, fitting perfectly in his palms.
He keeps thrusting in you as he gropes your tits and you bring your hands over his, looking into each other's eyes. He lowly groans, holding eye-contact with you.
You feel his veins under your palms, your pussy clenching around nothing but air while you run your hands all over his arms. You enjoy the sensations of his pulsing veins under your small fingers as you sink your teeth into your bottom lip, staring into Jimin's dark eyes.
"Jimin..." You moan his name, throwing your head back and closing your eyes, just enjoying the feeling of his hard cock entering and exiting your tight hole. Jimin takes the opportunity to smooch your neck again as you expose it to him, his full lips delicately pressing down on your throat. "I love it," you sigh pleasantly.
He hums, the sound coming deep from his throat. He wants to hurt you, yes, but he likes it even more when you love the pain. He just knew you were exactly like him when he first saw you. He had the feeling that you needed someone like him, someone that'd push you to your limits and make you discover a new type of pleasure.
And he was right because there's not one time where you told him to stop.
"My dirty girl," he purrs in response, bringing his lips up to your jaw. He slowly rolls your nipples between his fingertips, pinching and pulling on them. "You're stupid, but so, so good for me, baby," he groans in your ear, gritting his teeth as he feels his balls tightening.
He slowly halts his hips movements, letting out heavy breaths as he eventually pulls out of you. You gasp when he does so, already missing his cock stretching out your ass.
You're both trying to catch your breaths, Jimin raising himself up from you and getting out of the bed. His erection stands tall against his stomach, bouncing up as he walks to the front of the bed.
You watch him getting away until he orders you to follow him. "Come here," he says softly and you don't make him wait. "On your knees," Jimin commands when you're facing him, sinking down to your knees after.
He places a hand behind your head and the other around the base of his dick, guiding the head of his cock toward your lips as he pushes down on your head.
"Here, baby," he instructs in a low voice. "Take it in your mouth." You part your lips to welcome Jimin's length, his bulbous tip shining in pre-cum and your juices under the light of the hotel room.
He immediately moans when he enters the warmth of your mouth, his heavy cock sliding on your wet tongue. He doesn't let you have much control, pushing his dick in your mouth until your nose touches his pubic hair.
You relax your jaw for Jimin, allowing him to stuff your mouth full of his cock. He looks down at you, watching the way your lips wrap around him tightly, your eyes starting to water. He still holds the back of your head with one hand, guiding you over his stiff erection and you moan obscenely around Jimin, drool dripping down on your chin.
He begins to fuck your mouth, forcing you to take the whole thing each time he bottoms out. He moves his hips back and forth, obsessed with the way his girth appears and reappears between your lips as he uses your mouth as he pleases.
"Shit," he hisses when you hollow your cheeks, making it more pleasurable for him. "You're a fucking cockslut, aren't you, baby?" He says breathily, his eyes not once leaving his cock penetrating your mouth over and over again.
You whine around him, surely agreeing with what he said. It sends deliciously vibrations through his entire body, the sounds of your moans and hearing you gag around him is so arousing to him. He wants to hear more so he literally uses your mouth like a toy, snapping his hips against you, his balls slapping your chin.
He lets out a deep moan, your cheeks now damp and eyelashes all wet because of your tears, eyes stinging as Jimin fucks your throat like a mad man.
"Stroke your clit," he manages to say between two heavy breaths. "You can get off by yourself, right? I know you're soaking wet just by letting me use that pretty mouth of yours," he mocks you, but he knows he's right. Whatever he does, your cunt is always dripping wet.
You whimper again, doing what he told you to and sneaking a hand between your thighs to play with your pussy. You part your legs wider as you circle your clit with your finger, Jimin's hooded eyes lazily watching you playing with yourself.
Your right hand is laying on his thigh while the other is operating between your legs, pleasuring yourself to the sounds of Jimin's moans and the feeling of his stiff cock weighing down on your tongue.
You do your best to breathe through your nose, swallowing around his length and flattening your tongue underneath him. Your juices drip down your inner thighs, your finger flickering over your sensitive bud smoothly because of your arousal.
The whole room is smelling like sex, an odour that Jimin can't ignore, loving it so much. Your lips glide so easily over his hard cock, completely covered in your spit and still some of your wetness, tasting yourself on him.
"Ah, fuck," he curses, his head rolling back on his shoulders, eyes still strained down on you. He feels the familiar burning sensation at the pit of his stomach, indicating he's really close to his orgasm. He stops thrusting in you. "Go on the bed, baby."
You're taken aback, but you follow his order, pulling him out of your mouth and laying your back down on the mattress close to the edge. You beautifully moan when Jimin penetrates your pussy a second time, bending your legs over your stomach.
"Oh, god," you cry softly, being pounded onto the bed by him right away, tits moving up and down on your chest.
His hands are positioned on each side of your shoulders, snapping his hips against yours so harshly you feel your skin stinging. You keep doing circle motions on your clit, now faster and impatient to reach your high.
You let out a high-pitched moan when Jimin suddenly steadies his hips over yours, dropping down to his elbows as he hides his face in the crook of your neck. "Holy fuck," he grunts, gripping the bed sheets tightly in fists beside your head as his cock twitches in your pussy.
"Yes, yes," you quietly exclaim, your clitoral orgasm passing through you, making you arch your back and buck your hips.
Your hole clenches repeatedly around him and he finally comes undone into you, shooting long, thick ropes of cum deep into you. He empties himself in your wet cunt, cumming just after you.
When he slips out of you, more spurts out of his tip, landing on your pussy, covering it in his creamy cum. You moan at the warm sensation, always loving how it feels both in and on you. Some of his seeds dribble out of you, dripping down to your ass.
He stays above you for some time, catching his breath and looking at the mess he made on you. He stares up at your face, seeing how fucked up you look, hair in a nest and eyes reddened.
Later, Jimin is in the shower, washing his hair and his body, passing a soft cloth soaked in soap over his chest. He lets the water fall over his head, wetting his black locks. He stays maybe a bit longer than normally, staring at the tiled wall.
He thinks about you, about all the things he's planned. He revised everything in his head, imagining you walk on the podium wearing his design, people looking at his piece with admiration in their eyes.
He thinks about all of that that will go down for you after the show, getting fired, losing your career and your fans. Many articles talking about your excessive use of alcohol and drugs, saying how tired and sad you look beside Jimin.
You won't last long, you're too weak anyway. A downfall like this is unconquerable, nobody recovers from that, and surely not a model who will be thrown out of the industry as soon as you turn twenty-five.
Jimin knows the industry, he's been in it for years now. He's aware of how cruel it is, how difficult and harsh it can be on fragile little girls like you.
But that's why he's here, to take care of you once nobody will want you anymore. That's the goal, after all; you to be finally his — solely and completely his.
"Jimin?"
Your voice reaches him, turning his head in your direction, seeing you hesitantly entering the shower with him. He opens his arms, inviting you to come closer and you do, hugging him and laying your head down on his wet chest.
"I love you, sweetheart," he softly murmurs against your hair. "I'll never leave you, you know that, right?"
You nod your head, looking up at him and meeting his gaze. "I love you, too."
๑♡՞
A F T E R
The runway went incredibly well. Celebrities and journalists were all gathered for the fall show, totally amazed by every design and the models that were wearing them.
But there was one specific piece that everyone was willing to say was the best.
Jimin was satisfied to see that his name stood out among everyone else's, being called more times than Dior itself. He predicted it; it was the creation that every guest remembered, the dress that the fans were only talking about.
He'd take all the credit, he was the one who imagined it and then sewed it after all, but he has to admit that you had contributed to the fame a lot.
Being the beloved face of Dior only made people talk more about it and that was what Jimin needed.
But everything has an end, doesn't it?
When Jimin comes back to his apartment, the place is silent except for the TV playing, as he thought it would be. You're looking through the window, watching the city living at night while it's raining. You're sitting on the sofa, not even acknowledging his presence as he enters, getting rid of his shoes.
You're not much of a talker since you've been fired from Dior a few days ago just after the fall show. He understands your wish of remaining silent, needing a bit of space to process everything that has happened the past weeks in your small head.
It was going to happen soon enough anyway. You've been to your photoshoots completely drunk, sometimes just going in with a hangover, but of course it didn't help your case at all.
Jimin was guilty for letting you drink alcohol so soon in the morning. No need to deny it, he was even the one for dropping you off at work like that. Well, he had to do it if he wanted people to notice how far you've fallen.
He doesn't feel bad, though. Your career wasn't going to last with Jimin's sabotage or not. He did you a favour, you should be thankful.
You can't handle being a model. If you could, none of that would have happened. You wouldn't have gained weight, you would have been suspicious of the amount of calories Jimin was feeding you. The bottle of wine wouldn't have been so tempting and smoking weed wouldn't have ever occurred to you as a good idea.
Some people can, others can't and you're one of them. You shouldn't be ashamed of it, sometimes things just don't work out like we would have wanted them to.
"Did you see the article they wrote about me?" You ask, already knowing he's walking up to you without looking. "You surely did, I bet that's all they're talking about..."
He sits down beside you and you eventually turn around, facing him. You care so much about what others think of you. It must be so tiring having such a low self-esteem. He can only imagine it; seeing you look through the window like a sad puppy, your life finally making sense when Jimin comes home.
"I did, but nothing of that matters to me," he answers, the most honest he's ever been. And even if he had to lie, it's not like you wouldn't have believed him. You always trust whatever he says.
You don't reply, your head still filled with many thoughts.
"Hey, come here," he softly tells you, patting his thigh. You straddle his lap, setting your hands on his shoulders. He cups your chin, forcing you to look at him as you keep avoiding his gaze. "Whatever they say, whatever their name is, nothing will ever be more important than you."
Because who is he if he lets some article affect the way he sees you? He's known you since the beginning of your career and he stayed til the end of it.
He knows you better than everyone else. He was with you during your highs and lows and he'll still be there for the next ones. There's nothing in the world that could make him leave you. After everything he's done to have you, there's no way he'll go away.
How cowardly of him if he does. He can't leave when he's promised he'd heal you — close all of your past wounds and create other ones.
He may be selfish, but there's one thing that he isn't and it's a fucking liar. He sticks to his words, and when he says he'll never leave you, that means he'll never, never abandon you — he'll never leave your side, not even once. He can't risk it.
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taglist: @mcsalterego @blueberryarchive @gyukookswhore @bloopkook @ot72025 @mrsminho @ownthesunshine @dahliadaenerys
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moonstruckme · 7 months
Note
hey! I really really really like your writing very much!
can you do one where the reader and spencer reid are both nerds but different kinds of nerds. so the reader's more of a literature/ language nerd and spencer's basically an expert in LITERALLY everything. so she has a major crush on him but always hesitates to make a move on him cuz she thinks that she doesn't stand a chance because she struggles with basic math and physics chemistry make her head hurt
and so when spencer asks her out she's all baffled like you don't think I'm dumb?!😭😭
Hi, thanks honey!
Spencer Reid x fem!reader ♡ 1.3k words
It’s one of those rare days where you can actually afford a lunch break, and you’ve decided to take it outside with your book. Every day lately feels like it could be the last nice one you get before the cold weather comes in, and you’re enjoying the crisp breeze and warm sunshine on your face as you get settled on the bench outside the cafe where you work. 
The book you’ve been reading for the past week is good but not great, and you’re sort of pushing yourself to finish just so you can say it’s over with and tell the friend who lent it that you gave it your best. Still, you’re very nearly lost in it by the time a pair of black converse comes to a stop in front of you. 
You follow them upward. “Spencer!” you say, probably with a touch too much alacrity. Too quickly, too. You might’ve at least pretended to have to think about the name of the sweet-faced doctor looking down at you. But it’s not your fault; you’ve gotten used to calling it out from the counter when he comes here to pick up his lunch at least three days out of the week. 
“Hi,” he says, teetering on the edge of bashful. “I’m surprised to see you out here, you’re almost always working when I come by.” 
It’s embarrassingly gratifying that he knows that. You’d never hold it against him if he didn’t, but you’ve come to enjoy the little bits of conversation you grab with him when he comes by, and it’s nice to know that he’s noticed you too. 
“It’s a slow day,” you reply by way of explanation. “I figured I’d grab a break while I still could.” 
Spencer smiles like he totally gets that. You imagine he does. “Good idea. Can I sit?”
“Of course!” Again, way too eager. You’ve got to work on controlling your tone around him. You move your discarded jacket into your lap. 
“Thanks,” he says, sitting in the space you’ve made for him. His legs are so long he looks like he’s squatting on the bench, knees high enough for him to set his elbows on. Which he does, tilting his head to see you. “What’re you reading?”
“Oh, um, it’s nothing. I mean, I wouldn’t really recommend it,” you laugh. Christ, you don’t want him to know what you’re reading. Spencer probably reads astrophysics textbooks for fun. “It’s not very good.” 
Spencer puts his hand over yours, far from forceful as he tips the page toward him until he can see the cover. Your brain is short-circuiting so badly it’s a wonder you don’t drop the paperback onto the pavement. 
“I haven’t heard of it,” he says, which surprises you. Spencer seems so knowledgeable it’s difficult to believe there’s anything in existence that’s not stored somewhere in his hard drive. “Why are you reading it if you don’t think it’s good?” 
He doesn’t ask it in any unkind or judgemental way, but something inside you tenses nonetheless. You know perhaps too much about Spencer Reid. It’s not like you’d gone out of your way to figure him out, but the facts had presented themselves to you almost serendipitously and you’d put the pieces together. You know that he’s in the FBI, not only because of the laminated identifier he sometimes leaves clipped to his shirtpocket when he comes in, but also because of the coworkers that occasionally come with him. From those coworkers, you also know that he’s a doctor, and you gather that he’s generally respected and admired as well as cared for by his team. He seems a bit awkward, but sure of himself where it matters, and he goes into every interaction with a kind curiosity. Most of all, you know that Spencer is smart. Like, expert in everything smart. You’d caught a few jokes from the people he’s brought in about an eidetic memory, his multiple PhDs, and the nickname “boy genius.” No matter how shy and sweet someone is, that’s intimidating. 
And it’s unnerving to have someone with an IQ higher than you can probably fathom asking about your intellectual habits. 
“Well, the plot doesn’t actually have much movement, so it’s pretty boring,” you say hesitantly. “I guess at this point I’m mostly in it for the prose. Plus my friend recommended it, so I have to finish it to keep her happy.” 
Spencer laughs at your little joke, nodding. “Wow, the prose alone is enough to keep you going? It must be pretty fascinating.” 
You want to backpedal immediately, but settle for a one-shouldered shrug. “It’s alright. I’m kind of a nerd for that stuff. Rhetorical devices and all.”
Spencer tilts his head, something igniting in his brown eyes. Interest. “Rhetorical devices. You mean like metaphor and personification?”
You nod. “Yeah, like those, but also anadiplosis and polysyndeton and anastrophe.” Spencer’s eyebrows move slowly upward as you speak, and you feel heat rising to your cheeks despite the slight chill. “I just like that there’s things that affect the emotion—or the pacing, or whatever—of writing that we as readers pick up on almost subconsciously, but were so intentional for the writer.” 
Spencer’s nodding, eyes going somewhere just slightly distant. “Yeah, that’s a good point. I mean, I know writing is a very intentional process, but I never really think about the tiny, word-level decisions authors make to influence readers.” 
“It’s so cool,” you agree. “Like, how long do you think it takes someone to land on the exact right word for what they’re trying to convey, or to structure their sentences in a way that builds momentum over the course of a paragraph? Like, so much goes into it.” 
Spencer’s smiling at you, and you realize you’re gushing, geeky zeal bursting out of you like a soda bottle that’s been shaken and finally uncapped. “Sorry. Um, what’re you reading lately?” 
“Don’t be sorry,” he says quickly, still smiling at you. “I actually just finished my last book, so I’m looking for something new. If this book has all that and isn’t up to your standards, I’d be interested to see what you really enjoy reading.” 
Your cheeks are burning hot; you hope Spencer thinks the redness is from the cool breeze. “I’d be nervous to give you a recommendation,” you admit. “Too much pressure.” 
Spencer waves you off. “I’ll read anything, don’t worry about it. Hey, have you ever been to that coffee shop on fifth? It’s in a bookstore.” 
You blink. “No, I haven’t heard of it. That sounds cool, though.” 
A bit of pink tinges Spencer’s cheeks; it’s probably from the cool breeze. “Yeah, well, you should let me take you there sometime. If you want, of course,” he adds hastily. “Don’t worry about it if not.” 
It takes you a second to realize what’s happening. And then once you do, another second to make yourself believe it. “Like, as a date?” you ask, just to be sure.
 Spencer’s smile is hopeful behind its timidity. “Yeah. Yeah, if you’re okay with that.” 
“Yeah.” You can’t think of anything better to say, your brain filling with buzzing bees. “That sounds good. Thanks.” 
He laughs, eyebrows coming together bemusedly. “Well, don’t thank me. I should be thanking you.” 
It’s more a thanks for his taking action, you think. For making a move when you’d been too scared to, stagnant with months over your anxiety that he’d think you were too dumb or trivial to want to keep talking to you after he’d picked up his sandwich. 
“Okay, great.” He stands. “Well, I have to get back, but I’ll, uh…I’ll see you? Friday, maybe? I can come by here after your shift.” 
“You know when my shift ends?”
Now even his ears are turning red. “You…around four, right? I sometimes see you if I’m leaving work around then.” 
You smile. “Yeah, four. See you then, Dr. Reid.” 
“See you then!” he turns around, and you can see the exact moment he thinks to wonder how you know his last name. You don’t bother worrying about it.
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nickfowlerrr · 10 months
Text
i never thought you’d happen to me - 2
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part one / part three
pairing: bucky barnes x curvy!reader
warnings: 18+ only. smut, fluff, bit of angst. time travel via magic. dad!bucky and mom!reader. steve x nat. some morally dubious homemade porn viewing 💀. if i’m missing anything that should be tagged, please lmk!
words: 6.7k
notes: this idea came from a prompt post i saw not too long ago and coincidentally fell into some bingo spots for my @the-slumberparty bingo card. fair warning: this is so completely self indulgent and a little trope overload lol but i had such a good time working on it and it was fun to write so who really cares 😌 thank you in advance for reading and reblogging! as always, comments and reblogs are more than welcome and so appreciated. please let me know what you think!
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Back at the house, your house, you wander around the living room as Bucky sits on the tablet in the kitchen, consumed by whatever it is he's looking through.
You stop at the large bookshelf that's screwed into the wall, the picture frames all around catching your attention.
You smile at the baby pictures of the twins, admiring their tiny faces as you and Bucky each hold one, looking down at them like they were the only things in the world that mattered. You note how close you are to Bucky in the photo, practically in his lap as you lean into him.
Your eyes drift down the case before landing on a gorgeous shot, breathtaking, really.
You're in white, the elegant dress you don seemingly straight out of your dreams as you recline into Bucky who stands behind you, his arms around your waist as your hands cover his. You're smiling as he appears to be whispering something in your ear, a smile of his own evident as he does.
It's intimate and delicate and it seizes your heart as you can't seem to take your eyes off of it.
Your mind can't seem to make sense of it, though.
How do you get from here to there? How can you ever have this life? It seems so unreal.
Bucky can’t stand you more than half the time,  he's made that fact abundantly clear. So how the hell does he go from that to this? What changes? Why?
The sound of your name being called gets your attention as you wipe at your welling eyes. You hadn't noticed it happening, but you felt it when you finally blinked and looked away from the photo.
"Yeah?"
"My card is linked to this thing apparently, I was gonna order food."
"Okay," you breathe.
"What do you want?"
"I don't care. Whatever is fine," you brush off as you finally turn around and meet his eye. "I'm gonna shower."
He doesn't respond, but he doesn't take his eyes off of you either, watching you intently as you pass him and walk back to the room.
----
You let out a breath you hadn’t realized you’d been holding. The car ride back to the house seemed longer without the twins there to distract you from your close proximity to Bucky. And being alone together once you finally got back, despite the huge space allotted to you in this house, still seemed stifling. There was a growing tension between you that was more than ready to break.
You weren’t unfamiliar with the feeling. 
It seemed to be ever present when you two were around each other and only intensified the longer you were alone with one another. 
As you began undressing, starting the water for your shower, your mind wandered to the last time you found yourself in such close quarters with him. 
You were both beyond exhausted when you’d gotten back to the tower after your mission. It hadn’t gone as smoothly as anyone would have hoped, but you got the job done, if not just a little worse for wear. 
You were leaning against the right side of the elevator, facing the door as Bucky stood closer to the left side, facing the same direction as you. It was quiet, and though your body was sore beyond belief, you mentally chided yourself for not just taking the stairs. You’d just finished giving him a piece of your mind after he made yet another unhelpful comment about how you could have easily avoided being flung down a flight of stairs earlier. 
Crazy as it might have seemed, receiving a play by play of every tiny misstep you’d taken after a mission as grueling as that one didn’t go over too well with you. Especially as you stood with bandaged ribs, miscellaneous cuts, bumps, and bruises all over your body, and what you were sure was a concussion causing the throbbing in your head. 
You closed your eyes as you let your head rest against the wall, one hand on the rail and the other holding your duffel. 
A sudden jerking had your eyes snapping open as you held tighter to the railing to keep your balance, the light above shutting off briefly before a dimmer one returned as the elevator completely stopped moving.
“You’ve gotta be fucking kidding me,” you groused under your breath before sinking down to the floor in utter exhaustion. The elevator had been on the fritz since before you had even left for the mission last week, you assumed they would’ve gotten it fixed by the time you returned. Clearly you were wrong.
You watched as Bucky hit random buttons on the panel in front of him in a vain attempt to get the thing to move again. You wanted to say something snarky but just sighed exaggeratedly instead. After a moment, still no words spoken between either of you, Bucky took out his emergency phone and called for help.
You didn’t pay much attention to his conversation as the pressure in your head grew, but his next words caught your attention completely. 
“What the hell do you mean an hour?” he nearly growled into the phone. 
You couldn’t hear the other side of the conversation well but there were only so many people he could have called at this hour that would be able to help and the snicker that made its way through the line had you betting on Stark.
He hung up and chanced a glance to you, meeting your gaze. “Might be a while,” he huffed before looking away. 
He approached the doors of the elevator and you winced at the sound they emitted as he pulled them open slightly. He was greeted by nothing but the walls of the elevator shaft before he allowed the doors to close again. You watched as he checked the time on his phone before he sat down himself. You let your eyes shut again, your tiredness winning out in the quiet settling over you. It was maybe ten minutes later when you were rudely awoken by Bucky.
You were impressed with his bravery because you could still feel your irritation roiling off of you from your earlier exchange. Your eyes were still closed when you felt his fingers brush against the bruise on your jaw. 
“What?” you asked harshly, swatting his hand away from you as you shot daggers at him with your glare.
“Considering how often you find yourself in the med bay, you’d think you’d know the basics of what not to do when it comes to head trauma.” 
“Jesus Christ, you just never fucking stop, do you,” you huffed before snapping completely. “I get it, Bucky, okay? I’m a fuck up, I’m reckless and careless and I don’t think before I act, is that what you wanna hear? Are you happy now? I admit it! I’m everything you say I am. But at the end of the day, I have never put you or anyone else in harm’s way. And just a reminder, I got the files and took out everyone I needed to along the way by myself. So I don’t know, maybe give me a little fucking credit for once,” you raged, the pain in your body only adding to your anger.
“This isn’t about me or the mission getting done or anyone else,” he fired back, his tone catching you off guard, though you refused to show it, “I’m never worried about any of that. But you are careless. Look at you! You put yourself in needless danger over and over again, and yeah, it pisses me off. You always end up hurt when you never should have been in the position to get hurt to begin with. You think I enjoy seeing you like this? I’m your partner, I’m the one who’s supposed to have your back and yet every assignment, you continue to go out of your way to make it damn near impossible for me to do.”
“Your job isn’t to keep me from getting hurt,” you deflected, not wanting to focus on the way his words were making you feel as you flicked your eyes away from his burning blue ones. It was too confusing. A mix of care and chastation you were having trouble processing at once. 
“And yours isn’t to get killed in some pathetic attempt to prove yourself,” he shot back before his tone quieted significantly. “You have nothing to prove,” he finished. 
Your gaze softened at that, a sense of embarrassment coming over you at how clearly he saw through you; The simultaneous feeling of validation his last words offered had the previous tension you felt in your anger lightening before you let your eyes slowly return to his.
There was a thick silence between you as you looked at one another, nothing but your slowing breaths to be heard. His gaze wasn’t as harsh now, but it still took a lot out of you to hold it. The intensity his eyes held was unmatched. You hadn’t realized before, how much closer he had gotten to you, but it was evident now as you nearly felt yourself buzzing - suddenly all too aware of everything in the confined void you’d found yourselves in. 
And then, you couldn’t say why or how, but you found your eyes falling to his lips. A stuttered breath leaving you as inadvertently leaned in a bit closer to him. 
That wasn’t you, though, you’d realized after a split second, one hand reaching up to hold the rail. 
The elevator jolted a bit as it began to move again, only a few seconds passing before the ding signaling its arrival at the top floor sounded. You were still looking at one another, maybe more intensely than you’d realized, when the doors slid open.
“Uh-oh, did I interrupt something? Let me guess, lover’s quarrel?”
Your gaze quickly turned into a glare as you both turned to see Tony waiting at the doors for you.
You rolled your eyes and got up as quickly as you could, trying to hide your winces of pain as you did. 
“Fuck off,” you said as you brushed past him.
“Is that your catchphrase now?” he called after you, “Ya know, I like it, it suits you.”
You remember how embarrassed you were after that night, praying that Bucky hadn’t noticed where your eyes had drifted to, or if he did that he’d have the decency to pretend he hadn’t. You’d chalked it up to a moment of weakness. You weren’t stupid enough to expect him to return your (very well kept to yourself) feelings. You never expected anything out of him, and honestly you’d been trying to shake them yourself since you’d been partnered up. You avoided him for a good week straight after that night, and neither of you has brought it up since.
Even now, you could pretend all you wanted that those feelings didn’t exist, but deep down, you knew they were alive and well. And clearly, as you looked again at the picture of you and Bucky sitting on the bedside table, it wasn’t something you could believably go on denying much longer.
The shower helped. Kind of. You feel better physically, but your mind is still dead set on trying to figure out the future. You take your time drying off and getting into a clean pair of pajamas while Bucky waits in the kitchen.
He's scrolling through every app he can, trying to piece together his future as it stands. And if he's being honest, trying to figure out how the hell he was able to get you to stop hating him. How he was able to get you to fall in love with him..
He opens up the photo library, grinning as he sees photo after photo of the twins, and some family photos, pictures of you, pictures of him, intermingled in.
He backs out of the gallery and scrolls down mindlessly through the albums. His eyes land on the "Hidden" tab and he clicks on it without too much thought, his face unlocking it and granting him access.
His eyes go wide, his mouth goes dry at the images that liter the screen. 
He should close out, look away, something, but he doesn't. The scandalous photos grab him and he just can't. One icon in particular catches his eye and he clicks on it without thinking, the video playing instantly.
He watches the screen intently, hunching over the tablet as he holds it tightly in his hands. Sees himself leave from in front of the camera, his movement revealing you as you wait for him on your bed. You're peering up at him attentively as he approaches you before you spare a glance to the camera and then back to him. A soft smirk playing on your lips as he towers over you, causing you to look up further and further as you recline until you’re on your back. 
“Hi,” you simper breathily, earning a smirk from him in return.
“Hi,” he breathed, leaning ever closer.
He watches as you scoot back on the bed and he follows you, his hands tracing down your curves, fingers playing with the material of your lingerie before he drops his head and begins trailing kisses from the softness of your stomach, up your sternum and along your neck before finally your lips meet.
Bucky is completely enraptured in the scene playing out before his very eyes. He’s sitting here feeling jealous of himself as you run your fingers through his hair, pulling him closer to you before you bring a leg up around his hip, arching your body into his own.
It’s sensual at first but you both seem to grow impatient quickly as your kissing heats up and becomes more and more hungry. 
Finally, you slip a hand down and tug at the waistband of his boxers until he pulls away. 
Bucky can see your face perfectly, your eyes are dark as you push yourself up onto your forearms, watching him.
Instead of ridding himself of his boxers right away, he slowly, teasingly drags your silky underwear down your thick thighs as you watch him with heavy eyes, your legs spread just for him.
“Look at the camera,” he hears his own voice command.
Your eyes flick from him to the lens as Bucky swallows thickly, still completely unable to look anywhere but you. 
You gasp suddenly as he quickly buries his face between your thighs, your fingers tightening in his hair as your head lolls back some. Your soft moans begin tumbling past your lips as he focuses his attention solely on you, devoted and unrelenting as you mewl and writhe under his ministrations.
When a whimper of his name leaves you, it causes Bucky to shift in his seat, trying to ease the ache growing in his shorts as he watches you rock yourself against his face.
“Buck,” you moan, “please,” you whine with a tug of his hair. 
He watches as your toes curl, feet arching, and your entire body seems to tense around him, your eyes squeezing shut as your mouth hangs open until your legs quake and you let out a tight, shaky whimper on an exhale. You bite your knuckle in an attempt to keep yourself quiet while he continues working you through your orgasm. 
When he finally lets up and gives you a chance to collect yourself, he moves up your body, finding your lips as he kisses you again, leaving you even more breathless than you had been.
“It’s just you and me tonight, doll. Don’t hold back on me,” he kisses you again, his hands going around your back to undo your bra. “I’m gonna wanna hear you when I watch this back,” he smirks.
You're completely naked as Bucky stands before you, finally taking off his boxers. “Turn around for me,” he tells you. 
You do as he says, getting on all fours with him situated perfectly behind you. He angles you both so the camera has a better view. Bucky watches as he teases your entrance with his tip, over and over again as you whine and wiggle your ass in pure desperation for him.
He keeps the volume low as he lets the video play, he isn’t sure how much time passes as his eyes are glued to the screen, watching himself take you as you let him. He listens to how prettily you cry for him, to the salacious sounds of his cock driving into you over and over, the wet squelching mixing with the slapping of skin as he fucks you hard.
Bucky feels his cock twitching in his shorts as he watches you come for him before hearing himself groan deeply, moaning while he empties his load into your pretty cunt.
He watches the come down, sees himself running his hands along your skin, peppering kisses all over your body, before you roll over beneath him, pulling him down to you and kissing him desperately.
He is entirely unsure about the morality of this all, but he can't look away.
"Fuck, you're amazing," he breathes heavily as he pulls away from you just so. "Thank you, sweetheart," he grins lazily, stroking your cheek.
"Mmm,” you hum contentedly as you look up at him before continuing, “If anyone ever sees this, I'll kill you," you promise him with an 'I mean it' stare before pulling him back to you, crashing your lips together.
"No one'll see it, doll. I promise. For my eyes only," he says as he nuzzles into you. "You have no idea how much I miss you when I'm gone, baby."
"I think I have some idea," you respond, the sultry tone of your voice effortless as you wrap a leg around him.
It looks like you're about to go for another round, and the thirty minutes left in the video seem to confirm that thought, when Bucky hears the door of the bedroom finally opening.
He quickly closes out of the video, sliding the tablet away from himself before trying to hide and adjust his very obvious erection before you come in.
He clears his throat loudly, a bit awkwardly, as you enter the kitchen, earning a questioning brow from you as you walk toward the pizza box.
"You good?" you ask him as you grab a slice, not bothering with a plate.
He nods a bit too stiffly for your liking as you assess him. His cheeks are a little flush and he can't seem to look you in the eye.
"What did you do?" you question accusatorily.
"Nothing. I'm gonna shower now, if that's alright with you?" he questions haughtily.
You make a face at his tone, rolling your eyes as you turn around to grab a glass for water.
He doesn't mean for it to happen, but as you turn from him, his eyes fall to your ass, and he has to work to stop the groan that threatens to tumble from his lips as his mind replays the video for him.
Fucking creep, he chides himself as his cock twitches again. He takes the opportunity to stand and get to the bathroom as your back is to him.
---
You're on your third piece of pizza when Bucky returns to the kitchen, grabbing a slice for himself.
He's spent the last half hour going over in his mind exactly how you two could have possibly ended up here. He's still confused. And at his wit’s end.
Bucky speaks before he can think better of it.
"Why do you hate me?" he asks, seemingly out of the blue, causing you to turn toward him with quizzical eyes as you swallow your bite.
"Excuse me?" you ask in disbelief.
"Why do you hate me?" he repeats himself, his gaze never faltering as he holds your stare.
You're honestly dumbfounded.
You sputter for a second before attempting to form actual words. "I don't hate you, Bucky," you answer as if it's the most obvious thing in the world. And seeing your future, you were pretty sure it must have been. "I mean, clearly," you add a little embarrassed for yourself.
"No? Then why do you act like you do?"
"I -,” you’re about to deny the accusation, but truthfully, you know he’s right. So you pause before giving the only answer you can come up with. “I don't know. Self-preservation?"
"What the hell does that mean?"
"Defense mechanism. I mean, you've been a complete dick to me since day one, Bucky. Am I supposed to just let you ream me whenever you feel like it - justified or not. And for the record, most of the time, it's not. You treat me differently from everyone else, sidelining me over nothing, questioning my every move, and I don't know why but I stopped trying to figure it out a while ago," you spoke candidly.
He was quiet for a minute as he took in your words. You watched as his brows furrowed, his gaze dropping as he licked his lips mindlessly.
"I'm sorry," he finally said at last. It was soft, but sincere as a pained look seemed to have taken over his face. "I never meant to make you feel that way. But clearly I did. It's just.. you're so stubborn," he says with a shake of his head as his eyes meet yours once again. "I do treat you differently. Because, truthfully, you fucking terrify me. You can be reckless; you act like you're expendable, and you're not. You're the furthest thing from it. I just don't want to see you get hurt. And maybe I was too scared to actually voice that aloud before, but it is the truth. I don't know, I guess, I thought I was keeping you safe somehow, protecting you. And I know you don't need me to. I'm sorry. For being a dick, for interfering when I shouldn't have, and for not talking to you about things before. I am sorry."
You’re silent and quietly awed at his admission, swallowing hard before forcing yourself to break away from his brilliant blue gaze.
"Thank you," you accept, not knowing where to go from here. "Good to know you don't hate me," you add.
"Yeah, same here," he smiles softly. Another moment passes before you speak again, something unspoken growing between you.
"So, just to be clear, was that you admitting that...you like me?" you ask, hearing how juvenile you sound but not really caring all that much.
"That was me admitting that I care about you."
You take a breath and nod, "Oh, okay. So, you don't like me?"
"I didn't say that," he almost scoffs.
"So you do like me?" you ask again with a furrowed brow.
"Jesus, doll," he laughs lightly, "We're married."
"Not yet," you counter.
Bucky walks toward you, pizza long forgotten by you both as he suddenly gets to his knees before you while you stay seated in the chair, his face right about level to yours as you watch him with stilled breath.
His eyes are blazing a fiery blue as he holds your gaze. You have to blink at the intensity.
"I like you," he breathes quietly, careful not to break the soft air of intimacy as you stay so close to each other, earning a small smile from you in turn.
"I told Kate I had a crush on you during recruitment, that's why she always makes comments about us going on missions together so often," you admit unprompted, the urge to tell him the embarrassing secret you'd tried to keep hidden from the moment you let it slip to Kate just overcoming you.
Bucky smiles boyishly at that. "Steve was convinced from the beginning I had a thing for you, that's why we go out on missions together so often."
You can't fight the half smile that adorns your lips at his words, "Was he right?" you question. 
He nods.
"He was right," he whispers as he leans in closer to you. "Does our future not make that obvious?" he teases.
You don't think as you lean into him, one hand finding the back of his head and raking your fingers through the soft, dark brown strands as you breathe a bit heavier with anticipation, you watch as his eyes close at your touch, leaning ever closer. You’re sure he can hear the uptick of your heart as he meets your gaze once again, before your eyes flit to his lips. 
You shrug, a playful tilt to your lips.
"I can think of some other things that might make it more obvious," you murmur as you let your forehead press against his own, waiting for him to close the distance between your lips now.
His hand comes up to gently hold your face before he slowly brushes his lips against yours. 
It's soft and gentle as you kiss him again, but after a moment, one kiss turning into another and then another, your lips press harder against each other, hotter as it intensifies, your hand gripping his hair ever so slightly as he kisses you back just as hard before finally you force yourself to break away.
You shudder a breath as you part, catching your breath, but neither of you drop your hands.
Bucky's thumb gently strokes your cheek as you gaze into one another's eyes. So much unspoken, and yet so much being shared with the look alone.
The ringing of the tablet breaks you two up, though, as a FaceTime call pops up.
The contact is Natasha and seeing her name has you grabbing for the tablet and accepting the call right away.
"Hey," she greets as the sound of a movie playing in the background mingling with the giggles of children and fake cries for help from Steve can be heard just beyond her smoky voice.
"Hey, what's up? Did something happen?" you ask, hoping you don't sound as uncharacteristically panicked as you feel.
"That's what I was gonna ask you two. There a reason your daughter keeps twirling around shouting 'fucking dick' into the air every ten minutes?" She asks.
Your brows raise in surprise as your mouth parts open on nothing.
Bucky titters at the thought of that precious angel twirling around with a mouth like a sailor - a mouth like her mother. He smirks, answering for you.
"Yeah, that'd be thanks to her mother over here."
"Why am I not surprised," Nat responds.
"Sorry, she was mimicking me this morning and we didn't tell her to stop," you grimace. "Hey, can you put them on really quickly?"
"Yeah, that's actually the real reason I called. They wanted to say goodnight before they go to bed," she says as she walks into the living room.
"Linc, El, got some folks who wanna talk to you over here."
Your eyes light up as their perfect little faces fill the screen as Nat holds her phone for them.
When they register it's you and Bucky on screen, they smile brightly, calling out to you both.
"Hi, munchkins," you smile at the screen, Bucky right beside you.
"You guys getting ready for bed?" he asks.
"We're ready, Daddy! Just have to say goodnight to you and Mommy."
"Yeah we have to say goodnight so - and then we can sleep,"
You chuckle as Lincoln rubs his tired eyes.
"But I miss you Mommy," he pouts at the screen.
"'S okay, Linc," Ellie says as she takes her brother's hand, comforting him easily. You swear you're on the verge of tears as you smile at the sweetness.
"Sweetheart, I miss you, too. We miss both of you very much. But you guys are gonna have so much fun tomorrow! And we'll see you so soon, I promise. You two be good and listen to your Aunt and Uncle, okay? Oh, and Ellie,” her eyes widen as you say her name, looking attentively at your face on screen, “let's keep 'fucking dick' just an at home thing, alright?"
She giggles at your words but nods, "Okay, Mommy."
"Alright, goodnight you two," you say softly, not sure you’re ready to call it a night with them knowing what tomorrow is promised to bring.
"Goodnight, Mommy. I love you," they respond in unison.
"I love you more."
"Daddy's turn!" Linc calls for his father.
"Goodnight, Daddy," he says when Bucky leans further into the frame before you hand him the tablet to hold completely.
"Goodnight, Daddy," Ellie smiles.
"I love you," they say, again in unison. The sound is the cutest thing you've ever heard.
"Goodnight, guys. I love you more," he finishes with a soft, almost sad smile of his own before they run off the couch and chase Steve out of the room with the other kids. Nat offers you both a goodnight and a happy anniversary, parting with a wink before she hangs up.
"Those are ours," you say after a moment, astonishment lacing your tone.
"Yeah," Bucky chuckles. "We made those little punks."
"Ya know, I don't think we did too bad considering it's our first day."
"No, we were great. Naturals. They had absolutely no clue we'd never known them before today."
You laugh at that before the silence grows between you again. It's not something unusual for you guys, but the hot tension mounting in this moment in particular certainly is.
Bucky is still kneeling beside you, his large hand settled on your thick, plush thigh.
You scoot back, your weight pushing the chair. The movement allows his hand to smooth over your skin, sending sparks through you and raising goosebumps under his touch.
You try to pretend that it didn't send sparks alight in your belly as you move back further and stand, Bucky turning his gaze to follow your movements.
The sight of him on his knees before you, looking up at you with those devout blue eyes, it has your stomach fluttering as you take a deep breath.
He stands after a second, towering over you once again, somehow even closer now as you look up at him.
"What now?" you whisper.
"That's up to you, doll," he responds, voice lower than you've heard it before, his warmth radiating off of him and into you.
You see his hand twitch by his side, like he's holding himself back from reaching out and touching you again.
"Well," you swallow, "they said it's our anniversary, right?"
"Mhm,"
You raise your brows, shrugging the tiniest bit as you nervously lick your lips.
"You wanna celebrate?" you ask, your voice a little tight and heady as you flick your gaze back up to the darkening oceans of his eyes.
His lips crash into yours without another word, his speed catching you off guard as you gasp into his mouth. Bucky lifts you up like you weigh absolutely nothing and your legs circle around him as he holds you up, his lips never ceasing as he walks you out of the kitchen.
You only part to catch your breath, your forehead against his as he strides into the bedroom, your heavy breaths intermingling. Your hands are in his hair as your arms are wrapped around his neck.
He sets you down on the bed before backing away, granting you space you didn't ask for. You look at him, clearly not happy with the distance he'd put between you. Before you can say anything, Bucky speaks first.
"Are you sure you wanna do this?" he asks intensely.
You look at him for a moment, hoping he can see the sincerity in your eyes. "If I'm being completely honest, Bucky, I've wanted you from the moment I met you. I wanna do this," you answer him. "I'm sure. Are you?"
Bucky pulls off his shirt as you breathe a sigh of relief, a soft titter escaping you as you watch him. He steps closer to you, taking your face in his hold, kissing you deeply. “I’m more than sure,” he speaks against your lips before pushing you back on the bed. The move has a scene playing in his mind and has him hesitating from going further as shame creeps up on him.
“I-,” he squeezes his eyes shut as he thinks through what he’s about to admit to, “I need to tell you something first.”
“What?” you ask, worry clear in your voice.
“I, well.. Hold on,” he says before getting up and leaving you sitting on the bed confused and concerned. 
Bucky returns with the tablet in hand as you eye him.
He looks like a kid about to confess his wrongdoings, eyes down on the tablet as he approaches you slowly.
“I, uh. I came across this, and.. Uhm,” he clears his throat, “I,” he takes a heavy breath, “I.. watched.. it.” he says stuntedly. “Well, not all of it, but more than I should have..”
You’re confused as he hands the tablet over to you, but take it with a quirked brow.
An image of Bucky shirtless is on the screen and you trepidatiously hit the play button, wondering what the video could possibly be. 
Your eyes go wide as you see yourself on the bed in lingerie, Bucky sporting nothing more than a pair of tight boxers. You look up at Bucky still standing before you as a blush grows on his cheeks. You watch, still wide eyed as it goes on. You’re on your back, Bucky leaning over you, and god help you, there’s a tingling in your core growing as you look on.
“No way,” you say in disbelief as it suddenly connects in your mind, eyes flicking back and forth between him and to the screen. “Is this-? Did we-? And you watched it?” you ask, scandalized as your gaze shoots back up to him. 
He rubs the back of his neck self consciously, avoiding your gaze. “I know,” he says sheepishly - you’ve never seen him like this and it’s honestly a little entertaining, a bit endearing. “I’m-” your moan coming from the speaker cuts him off and grabs your attention as you look back down at the screen, mouth going dry as your core is anything but. 
“Fuck,” you breathe as you watch Bucky on his knees, between your legs. You almost stop breathing before you look away, catching yourself and pausing the video. “Uhm. Well, that’s- this is.. Unexpected. I mean, obviously we- they- have.. sex, but, a sex tape?”
“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have watched it, especially not as far as I did, and I just-”
“How far did you watch?” you ask, cutting him off.
You watch as he swallows hard before sitting down next to you, taking the tablet and scrolling to about the point he had stopped when he closed the video.
“Twenty five minutes?” you ask with a light laugh, looking at the time stamp, the screen paused on a still of you pulling him down on top of your naked body. 
“I’m sorry,” he says again, clearly ashamed of himself. You can’t help but laugh, loving how remorseful he seems.
“‘S’okay,” you say with a light shake of your head, pulling the tablet from his hand and locking the screen, tossing it on the opposite side of the bed. It’s not until you straddle his lap that he looks at you finally, his hands coming up without thought to hold your waist. His eyes twinkle with something akin to wonder. “I get it, can’t blame you,” you admit, your arms draped over his broad shoulders before slipping them behind his neck. “It’s hot,” you speak sultrily, leaning closer to him, allowing your lips to brush his briefly.
His eyes fall to your lips as he breathes headily, pulling you flush to him as he holds you tighter. “You think?”
“Mhm,” you nod, your chest brushing against his bare one with your every breath before you finally let yourself kiss him once again, your noses brushing against one another. 
His arms still holding you, Bucky turns you both onto the bed, ending up above you as you continue your soft makeout. His hands wander your body, touching and squeezing your softness lightly as you sigh under him, your hands wandering his body in turn. You feel like a teenager, experiencing something you’d only thought about in the far recesses of your mind for the first time, it’s intimate and exciting and you don’t even care to take this any further, your focus only on feeling each other, on being this close.
The ringing of the tablet, though, breaks through the moment. You glance over as Bucky continues kissing you, his lips on your neck as you try to read the screen - but it’s too far and out of your reach.
“Bucky,” you urge him, causing him to finally break away from you, turning to look at who was calling. 
His eyes squint as he sits up, reaching for the tablet and answering the call.
“Steve?” he answers in question. 
“Hey, sorry to interrupt, Buck. Linc’s having a hard time going to sleep, he wanted to talk to you again, I told him I’d give you a call.”
“Yeah, yeah, put him on,” he responds.
There’s a sniffle before Lincoln’s soft voice comes through the speaker, “Daddy?”
“Hey, buddy, it’s me. What’s going on, having trouble sleeping?” he asks, sitting up more attentively as you watch him.
“Miss you,” Lincoln answers solemnly, you can imagine him rubbing at his teary eyes already as you hear him sniffle again, your heart clenching at the image. “I need Wolfie, Daddy. You forgot to bring Wolfie,” you can hear his pout over the line.
“I’m sorry, pal,” Bucky apologizes sincerely, despite neither of you having had any knowledge of “Wolfie” being a necessity. “How ‘bout we bring you Wolfie?” he asks before looking over to you briefly.
“Yeah, can you bring him to me please, Daddy?” he puffs.
“Yeah, yeah, I’ll bring him right now, buddy. Don’t worry, we’ll be there soon, I promise.”
“Okay,” he says, voice wobbly. “Love you, Daddy,” he adds breathily on a huff, sounding on the very verge of tears. 
“I love you, too, buddy. We’ll be right there.”
“He’s on his way, champ,” Steve says as he takes it off speaker, bringing the phone back to his ear. “Sorry, guys,” he offers to you both.
“Don’t worry about it, we were just, uh,... hangin’ out,” he says, scrunching his face at his own stupid response as you give him a ‘what the hell’ look, your hand gesturing of its own accord.
“Oh-kay,” Steve says at the odd response, “What is up with you guys today?”
“Uhhh,”
“Wait, don’t tell me.. Are you guys expecting again?” he asks, voice hushed.
“Yeah,” Bucky answers stupidly on an exhale, your mouth dropping while you gawk at him. 
“Really?” 
“No,” Bucky answers quickly again, “I mean, maybe. We don’t- we’re not sure. We don’t know,” he tries to remedy his previous baseless answer. “Look, I have to find Wolfie, so I’ll see ya in a minute.” He doesn’t wait for Steve to respond before he ends the call on his end.
“What the fuck was that?” you say on a titter.
His face is in his hands as he sits on the edge of the bed, elbows on his knees, “I don’t know.” His response is muffled by his hands as you crawl over to him, pushing on his back to make him stand up.
“Go get the wolf,” you say as you push on him.
As he stands, you get off the bed, too, throwing his shirt at him before he turns to the door. 
“Ya know, you’d think you’d be better at this,” you taunt, earning a glare from him as he heads to the kid’s room down the hall. 
“Can you go start the car?” he huffs as you watch him walk away.
You stifle a laugh through your nose, “Mhm,” you answer before heading down the hall yourself, grabbing the keys on your way out.
As you turn to close the front door, you’re surprised as Bucky’s already behind you, the plush white wolf in hand. 
“You’re so slow,” he teases, taking the keys from your hand while you blink up at him, a smirk on his face as he passes you while you just watch, your turn to huff. 
“Dick,” you accuse as you follow him, his smirk only growing at your insult before he gets to the passenger door, holding it open for you to get in.
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atinycafe · 7 months
Text
so tiny [nsfw]
pairing: ot8!ateez x fem!reader warnings: use of pet names (tiny, sweetheart once), sex toy (joong), oral (joong, mingi), riding (hwa, woo), size kink (yun), daddy kink (san) degradation (woo, jjong), slight pain kink (woo), jjong's mean and woo's a brat, gn reader 4 everyone except 4 jjong author's note: just finished with my exams so this is a little present 4 everyone
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"You're doin' so well for me tiny," murmurs Hongjoong, gently sliding the pale dildo into you, still unable to let you handle his own impressive size. "You're nearly there, almost ready to take the real shit." As he senses your climax, your legs trembling, your back arching on the bed, he withdraws it. Wordlessly, he moves closer, tenderly brushing your cheeks, wiping away your tears. "Open," he instructs softly, and you comply, eager to hear his praises. He guides the moist object into your mouth, urging you to taste yourself, pushing it deeper and deeper as he hums in his raspy voice. "Good. That's how you should use that tiny mouth of yours" he says, satisfaction evident in his tone, thumb gliding over the bulge in your throat.
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Seonghwa's eyes are fixed on you, unyielding, as you try to settle his cock into the nooks of your heat. Your thighs tremble as you slowly perch on his lap. He doesn't utter a word or extend any aid, just gazes at you with those wide eyes that usually overflow with tenderness, now tinged with an air of superiority. "Come on, tiny, time's ticking," he murmurs, but you can only respond with incoherent murmurs about how you can't and how it's too big, the position proving too much to handle, especially after the endless orgasms he has bestowed upon you in the past half-hour. He clicks his tongue, a wave of disappointment washing over him. With an unexpectedly gentle gesture, he seizes your waist, compelling the inches of his dick to go deeper in you. Your eyes roll in response, and your body collapses against his exposed chest, allowing yourself to give into him completely, mixing the drool with the sweat of his chest.
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"What's the matter, tiny?" you hear Yunho's mean smirk in his voice right behind you, and you can only let out a little whimper in response. His long fingers delving deep within you are soon replaced with a dick, his tip finding your g-spot in an instant. You let out a sudden cry, pleading for something, anything, not quite sure what you need, while he can only manage breathless chuckles. "Is it too much?" You murmur in a strained voice so many "yes's" that you've lost count. Your hand reaches to grasp his larger one spread over your stomach as he plants open-mouthed kisses on your neck, savoring the salty taste he caused. "Oh, don't you worry your pretty little head about that, sweetheart." He places another hand on your throat, squeezing gently, momentarily quieting your whimpers. "I'll make it work."
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Yeosang couldn't care less about your endless whining—especially not when you're making the most beautiful noises and looking even more pretty, tears streaming down your lash lines. He puts a hand on your mouth, muffling the pleas escaping your lips. "Hush, tiny, you'll wake the whole damn neighborhood." Pinned beneath him, you can only nod messily. He releases an incredulous scoff, "So eager to please, huh?" he chuckles, emphasizing each word with rough thrusts.
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"Turn around, let me see how lovely you look," San says softly, his droopy eyes glistening as you reveal the delicate baby pink lingerie. You can't help but bite your lip, twirling around gently, basking in the warmth of his admiration. "Come here, tiny, let Daddy have a look," he murmurs, as you tiptoe over, finding yourself nestled between his thighs. San's large hands trace a path from behind your knees to your ass, squeezing the tender flesh. "Such a pretty little thing," he murmurs softly, his head dipping to your stomach as he peppers kisses over the delicate fabric. "I almost feel bad about how I'm gonna ruin you."
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"Nngh, fuck tiny, I can't" he whines, clumsily grabbing the makeshift ponytail he fashioned out of your hair. "Keep going tiny I'm so close." His dick snug in your tight little throat, the bulbous tip brushing against the back, making your eyes well up with tears. He throbs in your warm mouth, saliva pooling at the base, dribbling down making a big mess. "You're so pretty fuck, don't look at me like that, I'll cum in your mouth." He cries as he makes eye contact with your pretty eyes, wet lashes fluttered with each bob of your head, cheeks already damp and stained by the rolling tears.
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"What's wrong tiny, can't handle this dick?" He taunts with a cocky grin, peering up at you while you slow down atop of his dick. With a sharp slap on your thigh, he urges you to keep going. He bites back a moan as your nails dig into his chest, almost breaking the skin. You sense him twitch inside you as you display your frustration, and you can't help but scoff inwardly. "Come on tiny, ride it like the slut you are." he urges, his hands finding your waist, compelling you to bounce on his lap. Just as he prepares to speak again, you take action, slipping two manicured fingers into his mouth, hitting deep, done with his remarks. "Shut the fuck up Wooyoung."
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“Don’t pretend like you don’t like it, you’re soaking wet” Jongho's deep voice resonates in your ears. He pinches one of your nipples, twirling the bud between his fingers, his gaze fixed on your face. His hand glides down, tracing a path to your clit. With practiced precision, he presses a finger onto it, observing your response with keen eyes, savoring the moment. "I can sense how close you are, tiny, and I didn't even do shit yet." a hint of a smile finally graces his features as he gathers the slick nestled between your folds. "It's fucking pathetic." You attempt to shield your face with your hands, but he swats them aside. He seizes your cheeks, squeezing them firmly. "Do that one more time and you don't get to cum tonight."
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plmp0 · 2 months
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What are u looking at?
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Summary: You can't help but stare at ur boss's Jay's arms whenever u r in his office, having enough from acting like nothing happened Jay made sure to use them for ur own good.
A.N: the spacing might seem weird because i didn't write in tumblr so sorry for that and for any typos i don't have time now to edit this so i'll do that later ^^
Warnings: ceo!jay x secretary!reader, hard!dom!jay, sub reader, names calling, choking, p in v, cream pie, fingering, oral (both f and m), messy!sex, unprotected (cause it's a fic) and more
Your friend has been begging u to take her place at work since she is pregnant and doesn't trust someone else to do her job while taking it seriously, u've been kindly denying her offer not really wanting to take a responsibility as big as her work, knowing exactly how big and successful her company is but as u got kicked out from ur current job having to pay ur bills for the month u had no choice but to agree. It was ur "first day" at work, ur friend insisted to come with u today so u'd feel less awkward and also to talk about u with her "boss".
"Y/n don't be nervous relax a little bit" ur friend whispered looking at ur pale face and ur shaky hands, "ohh yeah" u let a breath out as u were now in front of the office, ur friend going first and then calling for u, u closed the door closing ur eyes slightly to calm urself down a little bit before turning and saying an awkward hi not daring to look at the person sitting on the chair in front of u, only hearing his voice telling u to take a seat.
U sat in front of ur friend, her cute smiling face taking some of ur anxiety away as she sends u signal to say something, u turned ur heard finally getting a look at Mr Park who's been staring at u in amusement waiting for u to say something with his raised brow "u-umm, nice to meet u" u said biting ur lips cursing urself for the words that ur mouth chose to let out and u r thankful that ur friend is with u trying to soften the atmosphere as well as speaking on ur behalf.
Mr Park as u call him said that u could start work tomorrow giving u some files to help u understand the structure of their work more before coming, and u couldn't help it but be intimidated by his presence, sensing his eyes on u all the time not just staring but piercing through your soul as if he's trying to find ur weakness.
U couldn't sleep the whole night, feeling so scared of being alone without ur friend in that big company, u washed ur face applying some neutral makeup and picking ur hair up in ponytail, scanning ur wardrobe to find something professional and deciding on a black pencil skirt with a white blouse not forgetting to wear ur long coat not feeling that comfortable in these clothes but u couldn't find something more suitable.
U sighed knocking on the door after u received a call from Jay telling u to bring him some coffee along with some papers he wanted from the finance team, u tried to steady urself while opening the door careful to not drop the cup and relaxing after u succeed, u cleared ur throat sensing Jay's eyes on u as u presented the coffee to him who is busy scanning ur choice of clothes not saying anything and just gesturing to a chair asking u to sit and tell him about ur opinion on some matters making u disappear inside ur clothes as u didn't read the papers before bringing them, Jay sighed on the other end massaging his forehead before sipping his coffee, his hands rolling up his sleeves making u shift ur attention to his veins and forearms, his muscles contracting when he moves his hand back to his desk and his biceps making ur mouth dry at the sight and he probably noticed that as u heard him chuckle, "are you done staring?" his deep voice snapped u out of ur thoughts making ur face even hotter if possible, and if u said that u wish u were dead in that moment u wont be lying
"i'm sorry Mr. Park i was-" his voice stopped u only letting a "Jay" making u look at him questionably "huh?" u blinked a couple of times not really understanding what he meant "you can call me Jay not mr.Park" he said again "and yes i can see how distracted you are" he added his eyes scanning ur figure , "it's my first day here i promise i won't be that distracted again, please don't fire me" u blurred out of nowhere making him chuckle and shake his head in amusement, "i won't fire you y/n" he said as he stands up and walks to stand behind u, his scent and warmth making u close ur eyes in embarrassment, "i'm sorry" you said again trying to stand up but his hand on your shoulder made u stay put "it's ok but u better stay focused or i'll have to punish you" his warm breath in ur ear made a shiver run down your spine, "w-what??" you stuttered your brain trying to process his words and failing, his husky laugh brought u back from ur thoughts, "i'm kidding y/n relax, now go and read the files i sent u, i'll need u to schedule some things because i have a meeting abroad next month" u noded a little bit, sneacking out of his office not noticing his dark eyes following your every movement and the smirk he wore on his lips, 'cute'
It was Friday already and u swear work has never been exhausting before, everything came at u at the same time, having to learn new stuff while doing the work that has been given to u and let's not forget about Jay and his non ending teasing, for some reasons u didn't expect him to be relaxed and strict at the same time, always making u confused, sometimes he is nice and gives u advices on the matters he needs your help with and then he is rude and tells you that you're doing everything wrong, not letting you breathe even once and then comes his "nice comments" whether it's about ur hair or what u r wearing, not forgetting to roll up his sleeves whenever u come to his office, the whole situation making you blush more and more each day and him being so close to u all the time not helping one bit, u'd find urself lost in ur thoughts imagining him doing the dirtiest thing to you most of the times before he snaps u from ur thoughts.
Today u were supposed to have a meeting with an investor, agreeing to have it in one of the cafe's near the company after Jay's orders, u checked out ur bag making sure to not forget anything before stepping in the cafe, scanning the place looking for the person and noticing a guy dressed in a suit sitting alone, assuming that's the guy you're looking for, you walked to his table greeting him and shaking his hand, he had his hair slicked back with a charming smile on his lips as he looks at u, his gaze scanning ur body and stopping on ur breasts, he didn't bother to hide his lust for you making you uncomfortable as he is still checking you out, "let's order first" u said trying to ignore his stares as u r looking at ur phone regretting not coming with Jay.
"I have no idea why they send me someone who's so pretty" he said leaning on the table and licking his lips, "let's start shall we" you said clearing your throat and giving him a polite smile, "i have a question tho" he said leaning closer and as u were about to shake him away from u, u met with Jay's back as he sits in front of you, making the guy go back to his place, his brows furrowed as he glares at the man in front of him, "i hope that i wasn't interrupting something important, y/n" he said looking straight at the guy in front of him making him gulp, the silence afterwards lasted more than it should before Jay broke it "Mr Sim sorry for coming late but can we start? i have some other work to do so i hope we can finish this fastly" he said frowning his tone stricter than usual, his stare making the guy's hand tremble as he nods, his eyes never leaving Jay's figure as the older takes out the documents and starts explaining them.
"Okay i think it'd better if we discuss these things with the finance team (lmao what's with me and finance) we are gonna be waiting for u next week" Jay said looking at the man in front of him killing him with his eyes this whole time, especially after making a move on u in front of him,you were so uncomfortable to say the least wishing for this meeting to end as quickly as possible, Jay shifted his eyes on u his gaze softening a bit, "Y/n u can go i'll follow after a minute" u noded your eyes never looking back as u were heading out, u didn't notice Jay's glare getting even worse and his fist clenching the pen tightly, making the man in front of him tremble, "Mr Sim i didn't want so say anything in front of miss Y/n, but i'd appreciate it if u keep ur eyes for urself, u r old enough to know how to be professional and i hope that what happened today wouldn't happen again or m not sure i'd tolerate that kind of behavior, now excuse me" He left shooting draggers at the man , he sighed his veins popping he barely managed to contain himself earlier, he took a few deep breaths and went back to the company noting ur bored expressions as he reached his floor seeing u checking your phone, the sight making him relax and smile a little bit, he walked towards you throwing u a soft smile before signaling u to follow him to his office and u did.
U were standing in front of him eyes scanning his loose tie his body relaxing on his chair as he massaged his neck exposing his collarbones as his forarms flexes, u were almost drooling cheeks heating up at the sinful thoughts going on ur mind right now, not paying attention to the man in front of u neither for what he is saying, "you're not listening" his deep voice snapped u out of ur thoughts making your body shake a bit, u opened ur mouth to answer him but no words came out making him chuckle, "are u alright there, princess?" He grined now adjusting his propotions in his seat as he ordered u to sit, u cleared ur throat softly ur mouth feeling dry trying ur best now to ignore his arms and the veins decorating them as u listen to him "i want u to know that u don't have to put up with that kind of behavior as u did earlier and-" Jay'd words stopped as he noticed the way ur paying him no attention staring shamelessly at his arms mouth a gape he tusked before walking to the door locking it making u look at him with a questioning look, he turned his back to you and started loosening his tie making sure to give you a show, his biceps contracting as he pulled the material down his throat "i've been really trying to ignore the way u react whenever i do this" he said referring to his loose tie and his rolled up sleeves, "but u just keep staring at me in a way that makes it harder for me to control myself"
His steps are slow and calculated, his eyes dark and predatory, "u think i don't know, princess?" his voice softened at the last word "just how dumb u become whenever i touch you even a little, how hard it is for u to not make a sound" his deep voice made ur stomach turn and u can feel his breath on ur skin now, his choice of words ringing in ur ears making ur shoulders drop;
"or do u really think that i'm oblivious to all the dirty things you're thinking about when you're near me" his eyes darkened more his lips brushing ur earlobe now his scent intoxicating you, and u r trembling the wetness between ur thighs increasing by each second, Jay chuckled his hand cupping ur face lifting ur chin so that ur eyes meet his, "i-i don't know what u m-mean Mr Park?" You whispered your cheeks getting redder and redder, "oh really?" he answered his lips ghosting ur jawline making u whimper, his other hand now on ur waist squeezing it lightly before sliding down on your thighs, his touch burning ur skin, his fingers started playing with the hem of ur skirt, his teeth grazing your earlobe before whispering, "i think you know very well what m talking about" his hand slipped under ur skirt his thumb rubbing ur clothed cunt making u whimper and squeeze your legs together, "look at you so desperate and needy" he teased his finger slowly moving your panties to the side and pressing his middle finger in your folds making you moan, Jay tusked at the sound pulling his hand out and turning around his back facing you, "i-im sorry" u whispered making him sigh and sit down, "sorry won't make you less of a needy little whore" his voice deep and dangerous, the words sending shivers down your spine, "what am i gonna do with you" he sighed his head resting on his palm, his eyes dark and lustful and u were too lost in his gaze, your cheeks red, hearing these words from him affecting u more than u'd think, your legs alreadt shaky, he was scanning ur form, the sight making his pants tighten and his jaw clench, his hands gripping his thigh to control himself.
"Get here and on your knees" his words made u blink, your heart beats increasing and your pussy throbbing, you hesitated for a minute before getting up, your needeness kicking out any logical thought of ur brain your knees hitting the ground in front of him, your face now on the same level with his crotch, Jay smirked his hands reaching for his belt buckle, undoing the strap and the sight alone made u moan pulling his pants down enough for his cock to spring out, his member twitching and pulsing in front of you, Jay gripped your chin in his large hand making you look at him, his fingers pressing into your cheeks dark eyes scaning ur fucked out face and his lips pulled into a tight line, his eyes never leaving yours as he slapped his cock on ur face before pushing his length down your throat, his hands tangled in your hair, nails digging into your scalp, and your moans and gags only fueling his ego more, letting his groans fill the office, his hips kept moving against your mouth in a very harsh but delicious pace "u've waiting for this ha? for me to fuck your pretty face" he groaned his hands forcing you to take his full length, your eyes brimming with tears and you were sure that by now ur makeup was ruined, the sight of the wrecked mess you were made Jay groan and grip the armrest, his eyes closed and his head thrown back as he enjoys the warmness of ur mouth "fuck u r so good at this, such a good girl" the words made ur cunt throb and clench on nothing, u needed to be touched but the position u were in didn't let u rub ur thighs together and the lack of friction was driving u crazy.
Jay noticed that, he noticed ur pathetic attempts and he guided his left foot between ur legs his expensive shoe spreading u a little bit before rubbing your clothed cunt, the pressure wasn't enough and the fact that it was his shoe that was rubbing you, made ur mind go blank, ur eyes closing and a moan leaving your mouth making him groan at the vibration as you grinded on his leg, "i never thought you'd be this much of a needy slut, grinding on my leg like a bitch in heat, god you r so pathetic" his degrading words made u clench on nothing, the shoe still rubbing your cunt and Jay's hold on ur hair got tighter at ur desperate state, your head bobbing on his length eyes tearing up as u stared him up seeing the way his jaw clenches and his veins popped, his eyes never leaving yours, hands guiding u up and down his shaft, the lack of oxygen and his dick down ur throat made your vision go blurry and the wet sounds of ur pussy being rubbed by his expensive shoe was making u go insane,
Jay growled his hands pushing u to take more of him making u roll ur eyes tapping gentelly on his thighs when it was too much, the tears in ur eyes streaming down your cheeks now the mascara smeared all over your face, your pussy clenching when his tip hits the back of ur throat, "shit, y/n" he groaned, the knot in his stomach building up his thrusts getting sloppier, his foot now pressing harder on ur cunt before spilling his hot seeds down ur throat, the taste of him and the smell of his cologne making u come on his shoes almost instantly, "fuck" he breathed his forehead resting on the back of his hand, he moved his foot away tusking at the slick stuck on them "look at you making such a mess, and on my shoe nonetheless" he chuckled shaking his head, the sight of u making him want to bend you over and fuck u hard and rough, his eyes now on your fucked out face and the way u were staring at his cock, some of his cum painting ur chin ur blouse sticky from ur drool mixed with his cum, his hand still in ur hair making sure u can't move "don't u dare" he warned, his tone deep and strict making u stop in your tracks and stare at him.
U gulped waiting for his next move just to see him lean down, his fingers unbottoning ur white blouse, his tongue licking his bottom lip as he sees your lace bra as well as your cleavage, u felt his warm hands on ur breasts kneading them making you moan, his hands slipping inside the bra and squeezing them, his thumb now teasing your nipples and rubbing them while his other hand grabbed ur face making you look at him, "u have no idea how many times i've imagined this" his voice coming out raspy as his thumb rubs ur bottom lip, hands going down to pull ur arms back taking his belt and using it to restrain them behind ur back, "i can't wait to have a taste of that tight little cunt of yours" his fingers walked past ur skirt lifting it up enough to get a sight of ur soaked panties, and his eyes darkened at the sight, his tongue wetting his lips, he stepped back admiring the mess in front of him, the way your legs are shaking thighs pressed together, the way your hair is a mess and the way your arms are tied behind ur back your shirt unbuttoned with ur breasts spilling out of your bra, he wanted to eat u alive.
He walked to the desk leaning his elbows on the edge as his eyes pierced through yours, his hands undoing his tie, the sound of his footsteps as he walks back towards you feeling his expenssive cologne hit ur nostrils and driving u crazy, u felt his warm hands on your neck as he put the tie around it and pulls it, the pressure making you gasp, "you're not allowed to make a noise, remember we r in an office after all" he said as his thumb caressed your cheeks, his hand now sliding down your arm and stopping on the hem of your skirt, he lifted it up again his fingers ghosting your wet panties and your legs tremble, your head falls on his chest as he moves his finger along your folds, his other hand massaging your breast, and the soft noises coming from your mouth went straight to his cock, the way your body reacted to his touches made him grin;
"someone's enjoying this huh" he teased reaching to lift his tie positioning it between ur lips before giving you a wink, his fingers now pressing against your clothed entrance, your eyes closed droppibg ur head back your mind going blank, "fuck" you mumbled the feeling of his finger rubbing your clit and his lips on your neck are overwhelming, Jay tusked at ur reaction and his grip on the tie got tighter his fingers rubbing ur clothed pussy in a painfully slow pace, and the sounds that ur muffled moans were making were music to his ears, his finger moved aside ur panties entering your cunt, the tightness and the warmth of you made him groan, his finger struggling to move inside of you, teeth grazing your skin, thumb pressing against ur clit and the knot in ur stomach tightened, his finger went deeper inside you making u curse, his lips now on your shoulder biting gently, he added another finger stretching u out while his thumb's still rubbing your clit, the way his fingers hit that spot inside of u made your knees weak, your muffled moans and gasps only encouraging him to go faster, his teeth nibbling ur collarbones lips kissing their way up to your neck and then to ur jaw.
"fuck princess u r so fucking tight" his fingers went rougher and deeper, his other hand squeezing your breast rubbing your nipples, his lips brushed against your cheek eyes watching you as he curled his fingers making ur eyes roll back and a loud moan escaped your lips, Jay clicked his tongue in disapproval his hands stopping their movements as he looks at u, his eyes dark his lips forming a pout, he reached for the tie moving it down to rest on ur neck, "looks like this tie isn't enough to silence you y/n?" He asked, the question making u moan in humiliation, his eyes piercing through u as he let a chuckle escape his lips, his fingers still knuckle deep in you, he moved to your ear as he whispered, "do i have to gag you or do u think that you'll be able to stay quiet without a gag?" He teased his tongue licking the shell of ur ear, his words only making ur pussy clench around him, "answer me" he let out his breath hitting ur skin, his deep voice sending shivers down ur spine, "I-I'll be q-quiet" you managed to let out, and as if that was the answer he was waiting for, he pulled his fingers out of you making u whimper, "behave and i might give you a reward" he moved his eyebrows walking to the chair and sitting down, his fingers still shiny from your slick, you wanted nothing but to taste yourself on his fingers and suck him dry, your thighs are still trembling and your eyes never left his frame, his cock rock hard tip leaking with precum, his arms flexed as he rested them on his knees,
"come here" his command was clear and sharp making you obey instantly, your legs struggling to keep u up the feeling of the slick going down ur thighs making u even more needy, Jay grinned as u stopped in front of him hands behind ur back, he stood up towering over you, his chest almost pressing on yours as he leans to your ear, his hand going up and down your thighs, his nose nuzzling the side of your neck, "such a good girl" his words shoot right into ur core followed by his kisses trailing from ur neck to your cleavage, his large hands lifting you up and placing you on the desk, the papers flying off the surface and the cold air on ur skin made u shiver, his fingers played with the straps of ur skirt, "lift your ass" he ordered and u did, his fingers unzipping it and throwing it away, tugging on ur panties now as his tongue licked his bottom lip;
His fingers slipped inside of ur panties as he pulled them down, hands spreading ur legs apart, his head going down to place wet kisses on your stomach and then down on ur tights, his tongue leaving a wet trail on ur skin and the sensation of his stubble on ur skin made u squirm, u felt his warm breath fan on your cunt as he placed a kiss on ur inner thigh, his hand wrapping around ur ankle lifting ur leg over his shoulder and giving you a playful smirk before diving in, his lips sucking and biting the sensitive skin on your thighs sending shivers down ur spine, his teeth digged into ur soft flesh making you bite your bottom lip struggling to contain ur sounds, his fingers spread ur pussy as his lips kissed their way to your dripping hole, his breath fanning over ur pussy before his tongue flattened against it, a groan escaping his lips as he savours the sweet taste of you.
His tongue licking his lips before he goes in for another lick before u felt it inside of u, your body jolts at the intrusion, the feeling of his tongue curling inside of u is too much, the warm and wet muscle sending sparks throughout your body and making your toes curl, your eyes closed your hands gripping the table behind u, and u swear the sound of his tongue working wonders inside of you is the most erotic thing u've ever heard, ur eyes moved to look at him noting the fact that his eyes are still on u watching your every move, and that made it so hard for u to be silent, u felt his thumb rubbing your clit, the action making you throw your head back and bite your lip harder, "Jay" you whined, making him smirk at you, his hands spreading ur tights apart his tongue moving in and out of you and the way you are trying to move your hips only encourages him more, he was loving the view and the way you looked so vulnerable and powerless, the way your eyes are closed, your hair is messy your hands are holding on to dear life behind u clearly wishing to grip his head instead, "such a good girl" he murmured his words vibrating inside of you, your head falling back as he goes deeper and your body twitches at the action "Jay" you cried, and you know he was smirking even though u can't see him, his movements got more aggressive, his teeth grazing your folds and his tongue licking the bundle of nerves inside of you, his eyes focused on you as he enjoys the way your body twitches and trembles under his touches, the knot in your stomach is too tight, and you were so close, but he didn't let you, his hands leaving ur thighs as he straightens his back, the loss of his warm tongue and the pressure inside of u was frustrating and the way he was looking at u was not helping, "please" u whispered crying making him groan before he chuckled
"don't worry princess" his voice raspy as his fingers trace the lines of ur neck going up to your cheek and pushing your hair behind ur ear, his fingers cupping your face his thumb tracing the line of ur lips sliping his thumb into ur mouth and u didn't hesitate to take it in and swirl your tongue around it, sucking it eagerly and making him groan at the sensation, the tip of his cock teasing ur entrance and u moaned at the feeling, his tip spreading your folds making you moan louder, "shhh" he teased and you wanted nothing but to scream his name and beg him to ruin u, his fingers pulled at the straps of ur bra, the material getting loose as your breasts spilled out of it, his hands groping them and playing with your nipples making u bite his thumb, and u felt a hard slap on ur left breast the sting so delicious yet it made u cry,tears falling down your cheeks as he removed his fingers from ur mouth his hand is moving to grip ur neck, his grip not tight enough to choke u but tight enough for you to know that he is in control, ur eyes rolled back when u felt his tip enter u, the pain and the stretch drove him insane, his tip almost halfway in as he waited for u to adjust and when u gave him the green light he didn't wait any longer his hips slaming into yours his grip on ur throat tightening
"f-fuck" u moaned head dropping to the desk hands resting uncomfortably under u, u felt his tip hitting ur g-spot and his thumb started rubbing ur clit, the overstimulation making u moan loudly and he tusked, his hand leaving ur neck and going to shut ur mouth, the way he was pounding into you was making u delirious, his tip hitting ur sweet spot with every thrust and his groans mixed with the dirty sounds coming from the slapping of your bodies were too much for you, his hand now gripping the tie and choking u, his fingers digging into ur thighs as he holds you still his hips snapping against yours, the knot in your stomach tightening , tears streaming down your cheeks making him even more horny.
He loved how pathetic and submissive you looked "shit" he growled his movements getting sloppier as he feels his own climax building, the way his tip hits your sweet spot is making you see stars and his fingers rubbing ur clit is not helping one bit, and you can feel yourself close, his deep groans and the way his abs contract as he fucks you made u closer, his grip on the tie is getting tighter as his other hand reaches to deliver a smack to ur clit, the action sending electric shocks all over your body and the tears in your eyes streamed down, your head dropping to the side his grip on the tie not letting u breathe as he pounds into you, his thrusts getting harder and deeper, "i'm so close baby" he groaned, and his words were the last thing you remember before ur vision went white squirting all over him, body shaking at how hard ur release hit you and soon after, u felt his cum filling u , his hand letting go of the tie and u gasped for air his body now resting on yours, his arms are the only thing holding him above u, his chest against yours as his forehead rests on the crook of your neck, both of you trying to catch your breath.
It was pretty hard for u to get out of his office that day, Jay helped u clean up but it wasn't enough as ur clothes weren't really in the state to be worn, he gave u his jacket the stickiness of ur blouse on the material was so embarrassing for u when u got home, yet ur heart was pounding at the good fuck and marks he left on ur body, u haven't really had anyone treat you that way before and it just made u fall more for him.
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This was the first version i wrote for this ceo!jay and reader plot(?), i hope u enjoyed it even tho i prefer some other versions over it but i had to free this one first hahaha
459 notes · View notes
authorhjk1 · 2 months
Note
Since you're a fellow Fromis_9 nagyung enjoyer do you think you could do a nagyung short about her and her significant other trying to sneak around the other members to find “a quiet moment to themselves”
Nowhere to hide
(Lee Nagyung X Male Reader)
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You hate lying. If there is something everyone knows about you, it's that you don't lie. Never.
"Oh no! I hope it doesn't hurt too much?"
Being the caring woman she is, Lee Saerom looks at you with love in her eyes as she hears what happened.
"Well, the doctor said he shouldn't be alone for a while, since he can't walk properly."
You are able to send an angry glare in your girlfriend's direction.
This isn't how it was supposed to go.
The members of Fromis_9 planned on going on a two week trip to Hawaii. The flight was booked for today and everyone was already at the airport. Except for your girlfriend.
Nagyung still has to do a shoot for her new drama in two days. Which would've meant that she would have flown to Hawaii later.
Because you have to work, there was no way you could come with them. That's why you and Nagyung decided to use the two days of this weekend to enjoy each other's company. Aka fuck like rabbits, until one of you passes out.
But to your dismay, your alone time didn't last very long. Nagyung was already on your lap, grinding her ass onto your cock. Your pants were around your ankles, your wet dick leaving small marks on her blue jeans. Your messy kiss made her moan into your mouth.
Suddenly both of you heard the electronic lock getting unlocked. Nagyung quickly got off your lap and you were able to cover yourself with one of the blankets on the couch.
The seven girls weren't that surprised to see you. You are Nagyung's boyfriend after all. They explained that the bad weather, which is now haunting the whole Korean peninsula, made air traffic come to a halt. Which means that they would stay home.
And being the thoughtless, horny maniac she is, Nagyung told everyone that you would have to stay with her over the weekend.
"He almost got hit by a car!"
She exclaimed, after the girls asked for the reason.
She wasn't lying at that point in time. You really almost got run over by a car on the way to their dorm. The woman ignored the red light and drove over your right foot. It hurt a little, but it wasn't bad.
But you definitely did not see a doctor. Because it already stopped hurting.
You know why Nagyung said it though. This girl lives for sex. She literally can't help it. It might come from the fact that she always lives with her members and just has barely any opportunity to satisfy her carnal desires like a normal person.
But it can't be the only reason. You noticed very early into your relationship with her, how addicted Nagyung is to sex. She could do it anytime anywhere. Whenever you were the one who initiated something, she was already dripping wet. It didn't matter where you were, or what you did. A restaurant date, a stroll through the park, hanging out with her members, shopping. Nagyung would always find a way to get what she wanted.
But it's not always as great as it sounds. Of course you like to have sex with her. But Nagyung is just different. The longer the time period without sex, the more aggressive she becomes. You wonder, if you just deny her long enough, would she just drop to the her knees in the middle of a shopping mall and suck you off? Maybe.
But the longer this sexless period becomes, the less she is interested in your pleasure as well. Nagyung does care for you. But if she has to wait for too long, your needs come second.
Which brings us back to the present. The eight girls stand in the living room of their dorm, Nagyung in front of you, next to Saerom.
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You are aware that with only one movement of her hand, you would be sitting completely naked in front of all of them.
"Why don't you unpack your things again, girls? The weather forecast said it's gonna take a while, until we can fly again."
You sigh in relief, when the members follow Nagyung's advice.
As soon as the last one leaves the room, you throw the blanket off your lap. Nagyung drops to her knees again, just like she did a couple of minutes ago. You expect her to help you with putting your pants back on. Instead, Nagyung puts her elbows on your knees, taking your cock into her hand.
"Nagyung..."
You watch in disbelief as she wraps her lips around your tip.
"What the fuck are you doing? They will be back in a second."
Nagyung glares at you as you pull her off your cock.
"I'm so fucking horny. I need you right now."
"Later."
You hiss at her, closing the zipper of your pants.
A second later, Jiheon and Soyeon stand in the doorway.
One hour later~
You are still sitting on the couch. Some of the girls have joined, wanting to keep you company and distract you from the pain in your foot. When the movie you are now watching started, Saerom put the blanket back onto your lap, wanting to take care of you. Nagyung, who is sitting on your left, while Saerom, Jiwon and Hayoung are sitting on your right, uses this opportunity to invade your privacy.
You feel her hand on your thigh first, the blanket covering it. After barely a minute (she couldn't hold out longer) her hand starts to move towards your crotch. Moving your head, you glare at your girlfriend.
"Nakko..."
You whisper, trying to stop her.
But you know she won't. At the seame time, she uses her other hand to take one of yours. She slowly guides it towards her own core.
A moment later, you find yourself rubbing your girlfriend's pussy over her jeans, while her fingers wrap around your cock. You are afraid that one of the girls could just turn her head.
But nothing happens as Nagyung slowly makes you unzip her jeans. You know she isn't wearing underwear. She barely does. Especially not at home.
You dip a finger inside of her, making her sigh. Giving Nagyung another glare, you try to tell her to be quiet. If you can be silent, surely she can be too.
Her thumb draws circles on your tip, while she slowly pumps your cock. You finger her slowly, still afraid of getting caught.
"You guys wanna order some food?"
Your heart drops as you hear Jiheon's voice.
As the maknae walks in, you quickly pull your finger out of Nagyung's wet cavern. Your girlfriend still has her hand wrapped around your cock, but she at least stopped stroking you.
"Or we could just cook, you know?"
Saerom turns her head to look at Jiheon.
"Are you gonna cook?"
Jiwon looks at their leader.
"Well..."
You feel how Nagyung starts to stroke your cock again. Very very slowly. But it still makes you shift around a little.
"Don't worry Saerom. We can cook together. The movie is over anyways."
You were so focused on not getting caught for the last couple of minutes that you didn't even notice.
As you watch how the four of them head to the kitchen, Nagyung is already tugging at your hand. The two of you close the door of her room behind you a moment later.
"Oh god. You have me so fucking wet."
You can't answer Nagyung, because she gets on her tiptoes and puts her tongue into your mouth.
Not that you are complaining. Her teasing, no matter how dangerous it was, left you horny as well. You quickly sit down on the edge of her bed as Nagyung straddles you once more. She grinds her core against yours, getting off on how hard she made you.
"Give it to me. I need to get fucked."
She breathlessly whispers into your mouth, before the two of you break away for air.
A moment later, Nagyung is on her knees, your pants are around your ankles once more. Her blowjob is quick and effective. She knows how to push your buttons and she is making use of that.
"Fuck, Nakko."
A couple of moments later, Nagyung stands up and walks over to the bed on the other side of the room. She takes Jiheon's plushy. A small brown bear, holding a red heart.
"I need this, because you are going to fuck me hard now."
She pushes the chair away from the desk between the beds, bending over.
"Fuck me like you hate me."
With that, your girlfriend puts the bear into her mouth, biting down on it.
You are not surprised that it fits inside. And you are not surprised at her words. When she is this horny, Nagyung doesn't care about her own wellbeing. As long as she is getting fucked.
You quickly stand behind her, unbuttoning her jeans.
"Fuck you are tight."
You groan as you push inside of Nagyung. The jeans around her knees press her legs together, making her tighter than usual.
Saerom and Jiwon seem to argue in the kitchen. You can hear their distant voices as you start to take your girlfriend from behind. Just like she wanted. No build up. No going slowly. You are supposed to fuck her like you hate her.
Quickly, the sound of your hips snapping against her ass cheeks fill the otherwise silent room. Nagyung's moans are muffled by the stuffed bear in her mouth. Her knuckles turn white as she holds onto the edge of the desk. Both your hands hold onto her waist as you marvel how tight and fit Nagyung's body feels underneath your palms.
"Swpnk mwe."
You barely catch what she is trying to say. But knowing your girlfriend, you can guess what she is asking for.
Your tear one of your hands off her waist. It hits her left cheek a moment later. The sound is louder than you fucking her. Afraid that someone might have heard you, you wait a couple of thrusts, until you spank her again.
Nagyung's skin starts to turn red as you take out your anger at her on her cheeks. The way her pussy squeezes around you, tells you how well you are doing. She is barely able to keep it together. To hold the bear inside her mouth must be hard for her. She lost her hold on the edge of the desk a couple of thrusts ago. Now her nails scratch the wooden surface.
"Mm my gowd!"
You hear Nagyung scream into the stuffed bear. The sign that she is close to her first orgasm of the day. If it weren't for the members, you would've made her cum several times already.
"Unnie!"
You heart freezes. And so does the rest of your body as you hear Jiheon's voice behind the door.
Before you are even able to think, you leave Nagyung's slick pussy. She is still too groggy to actively help you as you pull her jeans back up. Jumping under the covers, you take Nagyung with you, making her sit on the edge of the bed. You would get teased if Jiheon would find the both if you lying in the same bed.
"Come in."
You manage to say, right as the maknae opens the door.
The way Nagyung squeezes your hand tells you that she is raging inside. And hornier than ever. In that split second, she would've preferred getting caught, instead of failing to reach her orgasm.
"We are done cooking. Oh, how cute you guys look."
Jiheon's eye smile makes it hard to get worked up about her teasing the two of you.
"In a minute."
You say, very aware of the fact that you are still naked from the waist down.
9 pm~
You groan in disbelief. Nakko can't be serious. Checking the text you just got from her, you shake your head.
"Eat me out💦"
"We are still eating!!!"
"Don't you want dessert"
There is no use in arguing with her.
Walking out of the bathroom, you try to come up with a way to not make this mission too obvious. Luckily, everyone is glued to Jisun's phone. Seems like she is showing the girls a funny video.
Reaching the table, you quickly drop to your knees, getting underneath it. Finding Nagyung's lower half, you put your hands on her ankles. You feel her flinch, when you touch her.
You make your way up her legs, trying to at least build a little bit of anticipation. Once you reach her waist, you start to undo Nagyung's jeans once again. She slightly raises her hips, enabling you to pull them down to her ankles.
Now that you have a good view of your girlfriend's snatch. You realize that she wasn't completely off. You really want dessert now. Its wet folds invite you to have taste. The scent of vanilla invades your nostrils, evidence of the fact that Nagyung is very conscious about how she smells.
Instead of just diving in, you start to pepper her inner thighs with small kisses. It makes her legs quiver in need. The heat coming from her core increases as you keep teasing Nagyung. You start to lick the skin of her thighs from the bottom to the top, just stopping an inch away from her pussy.
Once you've worked her up well enough, you place your tongue right below her snatch. You trace the outlines of her lips, getting your first taste of your girlfriend's pussy for tonight. Because of the strong vanilla scent, it almost seems like she tastes like vanilla herself.
You feel Nagyung's leg tensing, when you finally press your tongue flat against her pussy. Her toes start to curl into the carpet underneath the table as you start to properly eat her out. The other girls' voices seem to fade into the distance as Nagyung's thighs start to close around your head. You like the feeling of them wrapped around you as you indulge in your dessert.
Your hands are placed on her waist, your fingertips exploring her tight midriff. Nagyung either wears something very comfortable, or something very sexy at home. It depends on her mood and the time of the day. Either way, she always ensures that you have quick access to any area you need to stimulate for her to cum. Her midriff being one of them. Nagyung loves the way you adore her tight body and with that, her discipline and hard work. She gets wet when ever you praise her. It doesn't have to be in a sexual way though. A simple "Your food tastes great." can make her rub her thighs together in need of stimulation.
You feel like you are in your own world as you enjoy your girlfriend's pussy. It's something that happens quite a lot actually. Especially when the two if you don't have time or a quiet place, like today. In moments like this, her needs come before yours. You are happy going with that, knowing that she will reward you even more, when the time comes.
You hear Nagyung stutter a reply, when Jiheon asks her something. Your girlfriend is slowly starting to lose her composure. Wanting to punish her for taking such risks, you start to suck on her clit.
The switch up makes Nagyung's legs shake once more. You know that she is close already. Her juices are starting to make her pussy glisten in the dim light underneath the table.
Another flick of your tongue against her clit and Nagyung finally becomes undone. Her hand reaches down to take a handful of your hair into her fist, trying to find an outlet for her pleasure. Her thighs threaten to suffocate you as they close around you, shaking.
"Are you alright, Nakko?"
Your eyes widen in fear of getting caught. It would be really awkward if someone would look under the table right now.
"Y-Yes, unnie. T-The food is just very delicious."
Nagyung answers Hayoung with her shaky voice.
9:45 pm~
"Are you sure this isn't too much for your foot?"
You almost sigh in annoyance. Not because of Saerom, who asked the question, because of Nagyung who made you stick to her lie.
"Don't worry, noona. It's not bad. Plus, we will be sitting the whole time anyway."
The girls spontaneously decided to go watch a movie, after Jisun showed them a funny trailer on her phone.
Nagyung convinced the others that you and her should take your car, while her members walk to the cinema, since it's not far, but your foot still hurts. All were okay with it, except Saerom. Being the caring leader she is, she wanted to make sure that you are doing alright. You knew why Nagyung suggested for you two to get into the car alone. She is now sulking in backseat. You can't help but glance at her occasionally.
Nagyung couldn't have been more clear about her intentions, once she stepped out of her room, after she changed her outfit. Her black top exposed just enough skin to not be inappropriate at a movie theater. Her skirt is the highlight of her outfit. And you know, why she is wearing one.
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She catches you glancing a couple of times. With flirty winks or suggestive looks at her core, she makes it clear to you what she is expecting to happen soon.
10: 30 pm~
The movie had already begun and you enjoy the bucket of popcorn that is sitting on your lap. You are sharing it with Nagyung, who is sitting on your left. The other members are sitting in order of age on your right, Jiheon being the one sitting right next to you.
After a jump scare early on, the maknae instinctively buried her head in your shoulder, trying not to look at the screen. After Nagyung regained her composure, she saw what was going on. You knew that this would only fuel her desire for your cock even more. The fact that Jiheon is physically intimate with you isn't a new thing. It's more like a brother/sister relationship. And yet, Nagyung's narrowed eyes, which glisten in the dark theater, tell you that you are in for a long and rough night.
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Your girlfriend finally jumps into action halfway through the movie. While she has been holding your hand this entire time, Jiheon kept hugging your arm, whenever she was afraid of another jump scare.
When you glance at Nagyung again, she gives you a meaningful look. You can't hold her back as you see her getting off her seat. She gets on her knees in front of you. The dark theater and the rather dark movie make her almost invisible.
You feel her pushing the bucket of popcorn a little higher, making room for her head underneath. From now on, you feel more than you see what she is doing. Her hands unbuckle your belt in silence, before she unzips your pants. Pulling down your boxers a little bit, your cock falls victim to her tongue.
Nagyung starts to suck you off in the middle of the theater. The girls and you aren't even the only once present. You shift around in your seat as Nagyung takes you deeper into her warm mouth. She is trying to stay quiet, but you can feel her hum in blissful delight at the taste of your cock.
You almost scream internally as Jiheon reaches inside the bucket on top of Nagyung's head. She pushes it down a little as she searches for a handful of popcorn. The unexpected push forces Nagyung further down your cock. In that moment, you are thankful for the fact that Nagyung got used to your size early on in your relationship. Even when your cock is halfway down her throat, just like right now, she is able to fight her gag reflex like a pro. The beautiful and lewd sounds and slurps she usually does for show are replaced by silent anticipation and determination.
Once Jiheon's hand leaves the bucket, Nagyung gets back to properly giving you head. Her hands now rest on your thighs as she starts to fuck her face with your cock. Silently of course. But hot as fuck nonetheless. You can't tell how long you will be able to keep it together. Is she going to make you nut right here?
You feel Nagyung's tongue play with the underside of your shaft, whenever she lifts her head off your cock. Afterwards, you hit the back of her throat, when she buries her face in your lap again. There is pretty much no sound coming from her. You are actually amazed at how good she is. And at the same time, you realize that you won't be able to stay silent for much longer. If she keeps going, you're gonna cum in the middle of the theater.
You are glad when Nagyung finally lifts her head off your cock completely. But your heart sinks once more, when she announces in a slightly raspy voice:
"I'm cold, oppa. Can we cuddle some more?"
Before you can protest, Nagyung is already sitting on your lap. Or rather on your cock. The bucket has moved to her own lap now. Apart from Chaeyoung and Jiheon, who glance at your direction, no one really cares. Except for Jiheon, who has a teasing grin on her face.
You feel your girlfriend grinding against your hard, wet cock, fitting it between her perfect cheeks. Resigning to your inevitable fate, you reach under Nagyung's skirt. No panties. Who would've thought? You wrap one arm around her waist, while the other aligns your cock with her wet core. Nagyung seems to have gotten off just as much as you by giving you head in public.
When she smoothly glides down your shaft, you can't help but sink your teeth into her naked shoulder to muffle your moan. Nagyung gasps, the others probably think because she is feeling cold.
But you know better. With both hands on her round ass cheeks, you lift Nagyung off your cock, after you've recovered from that initial spike of pleasure. Only your tip remains inside your girlfriend, before you slowly impale her on your cock again. You don't care about not being able to watch the movie. The way Nagyung's head slightly tilts back in pleasure is entertaining enough. Her pussy is leaving your cock coated with her juices, whenever you push her upwards.
"Too bad we can't go faster."
You whisper into her left ear, making sure Jiheon is oblivious.
Nagyung is too busy with biting her lip to be able to respond. It gives you control of the situation and you plan on using it to your advantage.
"You are such a slut."
Nagyung gasps as her ass meets your lap. You use your left hand to cover her mouth, while your right is flatly pressed against her midriff.
"You can't even wait a couple of hours, until we are alone, huh?"
You can't see Nagyung's head, but you can feel her shaking it.
"Needy whore."
You degrade her further with your words. Nagyung's pussy seems to tighten in response. The amount of juices that slowly trickle out of her makes her body glide down your cock like it's part of a well oiled machine.
"You would do anything for my cock. Right?"
She nods her head. Knowing that that's the only right answer. Even when she has you inside of her, just like right now, she would still do anything to keep you in place.
"Would you even let me fuck one of the girls?"
Nagyung immediately shakes her head.
You wouldn't have asked that question, if it wasn't for her search history. She asked you to google something on her phone a couple of days ago, because yours was out of battery and she was busy. Like the thoughtless, horny maniac she is, Nagyung didn't use the private tab option, or erased her browser history, after her sinful alone time.
You don't have anything against her watching porn. You can barely keep up with her sex drive anyway. And it's not like she has to watch it out of frustration, because you don't perform. It's just a way for her to get rid off just a little bit of stress.
Anyway, you know what kind of stuff she is usually looking for. And recently a new category has been popping up in her browser history several times. You were surprised to see it at first, because Nagyung is usually quite possessive of you. Your girlfriend seems to like porn, where the wife/girlfriend watches her man fuck her friend. Or at least have a threesome with a female friend.
"You don't want to watch how one of the girls give me head?"
You never really thought about her members like this before. Of course the are pretty. But you are in a relationship with Nagyung. And while she shakes her head again, you feel how her body is trying to tell you yes.
You ponder for a moment, if you should go further. Maybe mention someone in particular?
In that moment, Nagyung leans back against you, since she has kept her back straight this entire time. Her head leans against your shoulder. You see the teeth marks you left in her own. Nagyung carefully bites your hand, signaling you that she wants to say something. You release her off your grip.
"A-All o-of t-them."
Her needy moan makes you see stars. Is she actually serious? Even now, you don't actually consider doing this. It's just dirty talk to you. It's only there for making sure that you drive Nagyung over the edge as soon as possible.
"All of them?"
You cover her mouth again, so Nagyung is only able to nod.
"I bet Jiheon is really tight."
That sentence is all she needed. With a strong bite into your hand, Nagyung orgasms in your lap. It hurts. Not just her teeth, but her pussy as well. Because Nagyung is trying to stay silent, her entire body is already tense. It makes the muscles of her vagina work overtime, almost strangling your cock.
Luckily, she is able to stay silent. But you are now unable to hide your desire to finish yourself. You can't do that here though.
"Restroom. One minute."
Once Nagyung recovers, you squeeze her ass cheek as hard as you can, making her flinch in pain. Punishment for being such a naughty girlfriend.
1 am~
You never made it to the restroom. Both of you were unaware of what was going on around you. You only realised that the movie was over, when the members started to get up, once by one. It was still dark though, so you were able to pull your pants back up, before anyone noticed.
Now you are lying on the couch, staring at the white ceiling of the dorm's living room. All the girls are asleep. But you know it won't take long until...
And there she is. You hear her door open. And a moment layer, Nagyung is underneath the blanket.
2 am~
You have switched positions several times by now. First, Nagyung gave you head again, wanting you to be as hard as possible. You focused on her pussy next, eating her out to completion and earning a cute thank you. Nagyung rode you afterwards. Her hands on your shoulder, while she enjoyed the feeling of bouncing on your cock again and again. Then, you decided to bend her ove the back rest of the couch. You fucked your girlfriend hard and fast, making her cum for a forth time today.
She is now sitting on your lap, slowly riding you. After having satisfied her throughout the day, it is now her turn to offer her body to you in any way you want it.
You lean back, a little tired since it's late already, and just watch Nagyung slowly bounce up and down. Wanting to show off, she lets her hands wander over her midriff. You follow them with your eyes. Nakko plays with her own breasts, her head falling back as she enjoys the slow love making.
Eventually, she looks back down at you, smiling.
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"I love you so much, oppa."
She kisses your lips. Her vanilla scent is still there, but one hour of fucking makes her smell a little sweaty. Evidence of having a good time.
"I love you too, Nakko."
You put your arms around her, holding onto one of your wrists with your other hand. It presses your girlfriend's body against yours, trapping her in your embrace.
"Why do you always have to be such a naughty brat?"
"Nagyung is no brat. She is just a needy slut for oppa's cock."
You're surprised that Nagyung is doing aegyo now.
"Is that so? Then why did Nagyung make me lie?"
"I just told you."
She pouts at you.
"Nagyung can't live without oppa's dick inside of her."
"What do you want oppa to do now?"
You play her little game, knowing how much it turns her on. Although, there isn't really something you can do that wouldn't turn her on. Nakko really is yours.
"Nagyung wants oppa to blast her face with cum. He must've build up a really big load throughout the day."
You can't say she is lying. After all these shenanigans, you are ready to finally let go of it all.
When you don't respond, because you want to see what happens next, Nagyung pouts at you.
"If... If you don't want to, you could come on someone else's face. Jiheon for example. Just let Nagyung watch please?"
You can't believe how far she is going with this.
"Would you wake her up?"
You feel Nagyung tightening around you as her pussy is still gliding along your shaft.
"No, oppa. Just cum on her. I'm sure she wouldn't mind."
You wonder for a moment if that's actually true. The idea makes you want to cum right now.
"Alright. If you promis to be a good girl from now on, I will cum on your face."
Her smile seems to light up the room.
"Thank you, oppa. Nagyung will be a good girl for oppa."
You help her with getting off of you. Nagyung quickly gets on her knees, ready to blow you to completion. She greedily sucks on your cock, big eyes looking up at you. You are almost there already. Nagyung is only able to get a couple of sucks and licks in, before you take your cock out of her mouth.
Her eyes give you permission to completely ruin her face. Wit your cock in your hand, you quickly get off the couch. A second later, you start to cum all over Nagyung. She blissfully gasps in surprise, when she feels your hot semen coat her face. Her lips, cheeks, nose, eyes, none of it got spared. You aim a little lower, making your last shots hit her collarbone and tits.
"Oppa..."
Nagyung sighs lustfully, her lips still connected by a string of cum, even when she speaks.
"This was worth lying about. Am I not right?"
Her cheeky grin makes you take a fistful of her long, silky hair.
"Let's see what Jiheon says, when she wakes up and sees your face covered in my cum."
-------------
Hi everyone!
Once again, I have to apologize for not being able for keeping this short. I planned on spending 20 minutes on it at most. It took me way more in the end. Hope you guys will be able to enjoy it anyways.
Because of some issues with Tumblr, I lost the last scene completely and had to rewrite it, so I apologize if it feels a little bit rushed. After losing like 20 minutes of work, I just wanted to finish it and post it.
The aegyo stuff is probably something not all of you are into, but I wanted to try and write the duality Nagyung sometimes has.
Thank you for reading!
Stay healthy!
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₊˚⊹ᰔ Valentine's day! ˖ ࣪ . ࿐ ♡ ˚ .
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𐙚Synopsis: Valentine's day special!; 𐙚Pairing: fem!reader×dazai osamu&chuuya nakahara (separately) 𐙚Contain: headcanons, drabbles (?), sfw+nsfw, comfort, MDNI, hint of sex, rough sex, gentle sex, stimulation, oral sex, fingering, aftercare; 𐙚Author's note: (died after what is written above💀)... I tried to write this, but I don't know how well I did it. So... Once again, happy Valentine's Day to everyone! I'm a little late with this (っ- ‸ - ς)
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DAZAI
•THIS MAN ADORES YOU
•Considering that in the past he had a great, great experience of various communication (and obviously not only) with girls, you are the luckiest in the world (or maybe not ...)
•Dazai is a man of different moods. You never know what will come over him at the most random moment. You even jokingly call him "Mr. Mystery," and he takes it as a compliment.
•He ALWAYS gives you gifts. Regardless of the situation. Regardless of whether it's a holiday today or not. Regardless OF WHETHER HE EVEN HAS MONEY (bruh, we all know that he has it; a former member of the Port Mafia without money? nope)
•His presents on ordinary days can be very diverse. But on holidays, he takes a particularly responsible approach to choosing gifts.
•Valentine's Day? RUN. HE WON'T LET YOU GO ALL DAY.
•He belongs to the type of men who like to do everything for show. HE BREAKS INTO THE AGENCY AND GRABS YOU, HUGGING YOU LIKE A PLUSH TOY
•You literally have to HIDE MONEY FROM HIM so that he doesn't buy up ALL THE FLOWERS IN THIS CITY.
•But it still doesn't help; HE STILL COMES WITH A HUGE BOUQUET, SMIRKING SMUGLY
•Usually he gives you white lilies, sometimes he can afford to buy roses or chrysanthemumsIn addition to flowers, you receive from him a gentle kiss on the cheek / forehead and a box of interesting sweets that you have never tasted
•Able to stay at home on holidays when you go to work. AND ALL JUST SO THAT IN A COUPLE OF HOURS HE COULD SPECTACULARLY APPEAR ON THE DOORSTEP OF THE AGENCY AND GIVE YOU A GIFT
•At such moments, he comes in a fashionable suit for a spectacular appearance
•You're always embarrassed, but he doesn't seem to care at all; JUST HAVE TIME TO ASK HIM NOT TO KISS YOU IN FRONT OF OTHERS, OH, HE'LL DO IT (just an idiot, what kind of man...)
•On February 14th, he congratulates you in the morning; if he is not a lazy ass, he can cook you a delicious breakfast, for example, toast, inside of which a heart is neatly cut out and fried eggs are filled it
•He tries to do everything for you as on ordinary days, and on this holiday (he just becomes even more clingy and cute)
•He will be too lazy to make you a valentine, but since everyone knows that you are a couple, everyone will congratulate you on the holiday, and Osamu will just (as mentioned earlier) give you a bouquet of flowers and sweets.
NSFW
•TURNS INTO A PERVERT AT 0:00 (okay, he always was and always will be)
•He will definitely go to the lingerie store, choose the most DEPRAVED UNDERWEAR (it will be open lace or something that will cover only the crotch and nipples)
•He'll give it to you in the evening
•No matter how embarrassed you are, trust me, he'll find a way to get you to wear it.
•When you find yourself in this depraved outfit, he will admire you for a long time until he finally breaks down
•There are two options for the outcome of events: HE WILL FUCK YOU OFF SO THAT YOU WILL NOT BE ABLE TO WALK FOR SEVERAL DAYS (not funny, it really is)
•Or it will be too, too gentle, will make everything carefully and too pleasant for you
•It all depends on his mood and the degree of excitement! Well, or for how many days have you refused his requests
•Anyway, in the end, he'll clean everything up, put you to bed, and fall asleep with you, cuddling you against him.
CHUUYA
•Loves and protects you like a diamond
•Grateful to you for everything, especially for being with him despite his dangerous work
•Does everything for you, just like for his favorite doll and princess
•He'll start congratulating you in the morning
•If it's a day off, you go to a nice restaurant where he will order you the most delicious dishes, a glass of wine and a dessert in the shape of a heart
•If it's a working day, he'll apologize for being busy and try to make you breakfast. If he doesn't make it, he'll at least order you something.
•GIVES YOU A LOT OF FLOWERS
•I SWEAR THESE ARE THE BIGGEST BOUQUETS IN ALL OF YOKOHAMA.
•These can be either burgundy, blood roses, or the most delicate and light flowers
•In addition, he will either leave you his credit card with a lot of money so that you can buy everything you want, or he will go shopping with you; If you can't go yourself, he will definitely find out what you want and buy it himself
•You like different shoes (almost all your shoes are heels)
•Therefore,he never skimp on buying you another pair (the HUNDREDTH PAIR)
•He even bought you a separate closet for your shoes.
•He's definitely not giving CHEAP shoes.
•They all cost as much as the agency's budget; on Valentine's Day he will give you something in this style; hearts and red!
•He will buy your favorite wine or open something from his collection
•At work, during a break, he will try to make you an origami heart, something like a valentine
•He'll leave work early to spend more time with you
NSFW
•GET READY.
•He'll kiss every inch of your body
•He will leave bites and hickeys on your neck, thighs, chest, even your stomach
•He'll really enjoy your moans
•He'll be very gentle, unless you ask him to be rude.
•He will do everything slowly and carefully, as if he is afraid that he might harm you.
•You're like a fragile doll in his arms.
•Passionate, sensual kisses are provided for you
•He knows how to please you, so he will use his tongue and fingers
•He will torment you slowly, pressing you against his back, while he gently massages your clit, listening to you whimper
•He enjoys the feeling of you trembling from his touch
•He will tease you and push you to the limit, and then stop abruptly; but it won't last long, and he will give you your sweet release
•Will make you cum first from his fingers and then from his tongue
•He will make sure that he has prepared you well by slowly inserting and removing two fingers from your wet hole
•He'll fuck you very gently
•If you don't ask him for anything, then yes; but if you ask him to be rougher, he will squeeze you into the mattress, face into the pillow, when he fucks you hellishly fast
•After any option, he will do everything necessary for you and him, and then you will fall asleep in an embrace
______________________________________
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oncomingnight · 3 months
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Yandere! boyfriend x fem reader
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Malik is the sweetest guy you've ever come across and his charisma doesn't even come at a cost. You've never met anyone, no matter the gender, that was as attentive and humorous as him. Malik could care less if he's making himself look like a fool as long as he's graced with the presence of your heartwarming smile. His humor consists of material you'd only ever expect to hear out of the mouth of a teenage boy which is what makes his jokes so much funnier.
He doesn't need an international holiday in order to spoil you with stuffed animals, sweets and handwritten letters, he already gifts you all those things for the simple fact that he wants to. Malik is always showing up to your shared apartment with a bouquet of flowers in hand as he feels like the worst man to ever walk the Earth if he does otherwise.
Letting you pay for yourself is something he'll never allow you to do, as long as he's with you of course. He can't exactly stop you from doing so if he's not physically next to you (rare occurrence)but he has his own way of handling that issue. He'll notice if you seemed to have purchased something with your own money while he wasn't around, and immediately reach into his pocket in an effort to pay you back.
"You look so pretty, baby. Is that a new lipgloss?" "Yeah it is, I bought it when we were at the market the other day!" "Oh yeah? How much was it, baby? I'll give you your money back, just let me know if you want something next time, okay? I don't care if I look like I'm busy with something else, I have all the time in the world when it comes to you."
While we're on the topic of time I think this is the perfect moment to mention the fact that Malik is extremely possessive over not only you but also your time. Nothing gets him more upset than when the two of you are out together at a public setting and your friends attempt at pulling all of your attention away from him. In reality, your friends are simply making conversation with you and they actually make several attempts at including him in the conversation. This, however, doesn't matter to Malik one bit, he can see right through their 'good people' personas.
Malik practically battles with other people when it comes to having your full attention on him. It's not even a case where you're not appreciating how greatly he treats you, no. He is the one who is urging himself to be the absolute best for you before someone attempts at lifting you off of your feet and away from him. He finds it incredibly comedic when others attempt at acting as if they could ever understand or know you as well as he does. There have been many instances where he's gotten you the perfect gift and he just can't help but look on at the other party attendees with pity, as they all now know that you won't be as satisfied with their presents.
Is Malik a possessive boyfriend (soon to be husband)? Yes. Although, this doesn't mean he won't allow you to have girl trips/sleepovers. If you're having a girls trip in an area with a completely different time zone, this will not prevent Malik from staying up as late and early as he needs in order to call and wish you a good morning.
He will keep you on the phone for extremely extended amounts of time (not that you mind). Your friends could try their absolute hardest at being irritated towards his constant need to be near you and to call you but they just can't. Malik is so sickeningly sweet to you that they'd be seen as bitter people that are just jealous due to the fact they've never been as loved and cared for as you are now.
Malik didn't exactly grow up in the most accepting house hold, even as a child, he felt as though he was constantly walking on eggshells with his parents. His parents were raised with extremely aggressive religious views that would quite obviously intimidate the average person, this caused him to be raised in an environment where even cartoons most people deemed as 'kid friendly' were forbidden. Anything that wasn't blatantly religious was seen as unholy, his parents wanted him to uphold the stereotypical attitude of toxic manhood that even him doing simple acts of skincare were seen as something to 'look out for'.
This extremely damaged environment he was raised in just may be the reason as to why he doesn't speak to his family anymore and why he loves so ferociously, like a rabid animal. I don't know though, it's not like I make the rules or anything.
He absolutely adores doing anything and everything romantic with you, especially within the comfort of your own home. When the holidays roll around, there's nothing he loves more than brewing up two cups of iced coffee, sporting matching onesies, baking Christmas cookies and lighting up the fire place as the moon shines into your shared bedroom window.
Well, there is one thing he loves more than all of that.
That's you.
Edit: credit to @cafekitsune for the divider ♡
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roosterr · 10 months
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white flag ✹ interlude
note: this chapter is a lil shorter than usual, I just wanted to include a lil bonding moment for reader and ghost before the events of next chapter :)
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pairing: ghost x gn!reader
wc: 1.7k
no use of y/n reader's callsign is 'stingray'
summary: you and ghost go people watching in the local park, plus a little heart to heart
warnings: just some much needed fluff :)
ao3
【prev】 || 【next】
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one warm shower and a couple of ibuprofen later, you're feeling mostly human again with a manageable headache and a reasonable amount of regret for how pathetic you’d acted. with time you’d get over that, especially now that ghost had finally seen the light and started treating you with some decency. admittedly though, his change in attitude threw you off earlier; you were bracing for a stern lecture and he essentially brushed it off as though it didn't matter, but you’ve decided not to dwell on that fact.
small victories, as they say.
for the very first time, the pair of you were both sitting across from each other at the tiny kitchen table, in your own worlds; the radio was faintly playing some classic rock station in the background as ghost had his nose in his book and you played some mindless game on your phone. you’d honestly prefer to be reading a good book too, but your collection was currently ash in the wind, so this would have to do.
you're tempted to try starting a conversation, the quiet was giving you far too much room to think, but on the other hand the atmosphere is so peaceful it would be a shame to ruin it.
so you set your phone down on the table and turn your eyes to ghost, watching him scan the pages, his head tilted slightly in concentration. he's washed most of the paint from around his eyes – that was probably done yesterday, not that you noticed – so only a few smudges mark his skin. with the black paint gone, you notice the raised bumps of old scars around his eyes, something you'd never paid much attention to before. you know better than to ask, but you do wonder, in the back of your mind, the stories behind all of them. examining them gives you inexplicable urge to run your fingers over them, to soothe the ache having so many of them must cause.
his dark eyes are like black holes, drawing in your attention and refusing to let you escape their grasp. you're vaguely aware of how long you've been staring at his face, but you don't care to snap yourself out of it until he speaks up.
"what?" he grumbles, not bothering to look up from the page. you quickly look away, down to where your hands idly fiddle with your phone on the table.
"question."
"hm?" he hums in acknowledgement, but still doesn't look at you. normally you'd give up at this point, assuming he was completely uninterested in what you had to say, but this time you decide to push your luck.
"you fancy a walk to the park?"
finally, he meets your eyes, looking up through his light eyelashes and blinking once as he contemplates his answer. you resist the urge to break eye contact as he stares right through you.
"...alright." he says, wedging his bookmark between the pages and sets the book down on the table.
you weren't expecting him to say yes, but you're pleasantly surprised that he did; it felt slightly surreal that after all this time, you were finally becoming friends with ghost. your eyes follow him as he stands, leaving the room to, presumably, change his mask while you sit there with a bewildered look on your face.
a minute or so passes before you hear his voice again. "you comin'?" he calls from the entryway, bringing you back to the present.
"oh– yeah, one second!" you jump up from your chair and rush to get ready as well. the grin you wore as you rushed past him to fetch your jacket was unconscious, the feeling lighting up your features and overshadowing and lingering thoughts from the night before.
a few moments later you're tugging your boots on and you're both walking out the door together, side by side. for once it's actually a nice day, so the short walk to the park is a pleasant one under the blue sky and warm sunlight.
"sorry again, for last night. i think that's gonna haunt me for the rest of my life." you look over to ghost with an apologetic expression, and you can't help but feel that the expression he gives back is one of amusement despite not being able to see half his face.
"that's twice you've screamed at me now." he says, keeping pace with you for a change rather than marching ahead as he usually does.
"i didn't scream at you!" you attempt to defend yourself, but thinking back on it you change your mind. "alright, the second time maybe i did,"
"maybe."
"but the first time, i was very collected." you continue. "it was quite satisfying, to be honest."
"i suppose i deserved it." his gaze falls to the ground and, even though he's right – he did deserve it – you do feel a little bad.
"seriously, though," you continue, "thank you, for looking after me last night. you didn't have to, and i know you didn't want to, but i really appreciate it."
"anyone would'a done the same…" he mutters, bringing a hand up to scratch awkwardly at the back of his head. you get the feeling he's not used to people showing their appreciation for him, which only encourages you to carry on.
"and thanks for taking me in, i know having some random idiot in your house is the last thing you want." you give him a warm smile as he looks at you from the corner of his eye.
"well, you're not just any idiot, are you?" he says, earning a questioning tilt of your head. "you're sting. the idiot."
a genuine laugh escapes you, the first one in a long time, and you gently nudge ghost's arm with your elbow.
"oh, lovely, thanks mate." you chuckle, shaking your head in amusement. you see his eyes lift in a barely noticeable smile, the sight causing a warm feeling to bloom in your chest.
you arrive at the park fairly quickly, finding yourselves an out of the way bench to occupy under the partial shade of a nearby oak tree. you're enveloped by a comfortable silence as you both simply observe the beauty of nature and bask in the feeling of the sun on your face.
you're not sure how long the two of you sit there in each other's company, but you find yourself subconsciously drifting closer to him, close enough that your knees just about touch. you're sure he notices – there isn't much that gets by him – but he doesn't show it.
"did you hear they figured out how the fire started?" you keep your voice low to preserve the peaceful quiet, turning your head to look at him as you ask.
"oh yeah? how?"
"ugh…" you groan with the annoyance the memory bring up. "my stupid neighbour left a fucking candle burning all night, the twat."
"what a fuckin' idiot…" he glances briefly in your direction, a sympathetic frown on his face.
"i can never look at candles the same way again, they're tainted now." you drag a hand over your face and shake your head to rid yourself of the thought.
there's another pause in the conversation as you stare ahead, watching the trees sway in the breeze and all the people going about their lives, everything cast in a golden glow from sun.
you don't want it to end, the way the two of you are now. this is the most you've ever spoken to echother, outside of arguments, and you really want to make the most of it.
"nice weather today, right?" you try to keep him talking to you, and you're considering the fact that he hasn't told you to shut up yet as a good sign.
"hm." ghost hums and leans his head back, his eyes fluttering shut. "you gonna ask me what my favourite colour is again?"
"c'mon, throw me a bone here." you turn your body to face him more. "actually what is it, though?"
"...green."
"i knew it!" you exclaim, a triumphant grin pulling at your lips. "it makes sense, you just have 'dark green' vibes."
"i'll take your word for it."
it's difficult to know what to talk about with him, seeing as you've never actually been friendly before and you've already used the only small talk question you could think of.
"hmm…" your eyes roam over the park, looking for something to give you an idea. eventually you land on a scrappy little white dog, with possibly the worst haircut you've ever seen. "look at that woman's dog," you point it out to ghost, snickering at the way it was resisting its owner as she pulled it along. "i feel bad for the little guy."
"is that a dog? thought it was an oversized rat."
"oh my god!" you snort a laugh, covering your mouth with a hand and throwing your head back. you hear ghost chuckle lightly beside you, and when you turn your head to look back at him you find him already looking at you.
all other thoughts leave your mind when you see how his eyes glow a golden colour in the light of the sun. you feel the tips of your ears heating up and quickly face forward again before he has a chance to notice.
luckily another distraction presents itself almost immediately, in the form of a well-dressed office worker sprinting past you at full speed.
"wow," you mutter, your eyes following him as he disappears around a bend in the path, "he's not hangin' about."
"maybe he left a candle burnin'." ghost looks back to you, a playful glint in his eyes you're not sure you've ever seen on him.
you can't help the grin that pulls at your lips at his terrible joke. "aw, ghost," you groan, gently shoving him as he chuckles at your reaction, "you're wrong for that one."
ghost slouches into the bench as you both look back out across the park, shifting so his thigh presses against yours ever so slightly. you're careful not to react, afraid that he'd pull away if you draw attention to the gesture, and resolve to just enjoy the rare closeness of his presence.
eventually you'd have to head back, but for now you were more than content to sit here and watch the world go by with him.
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rainbowsky · 20 days
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Sorry I've taken so long to address this, I've had a very busy day and didn't have time to finish this post (which I started yesterday).
I'm talking, of course, about the incredibly controversial situation surrounding DD right now. I've gotten some messages about it so I figured I'd give my thoughts in a bigger post so that I don't have to keep repeating myself.
(CW: racism, spoilers FPU)
I know that by now most people are aware of the situation, but I'm going to start from square one for those who are just catching up on the topic.
There is a scene in Formed Police Unit where Chinese UN peacekeeping troops need to rescue a group of citizens who are surrounded by terrorists. In order to accomplish this they disguise themselves as people from the community. This being Africa, the troops were disguised using blackface.
Yes, I am saying that DD and his castmates appear in the film in blackface.
I am not going to post a picture of that here. It's just something I can't post on my blog. I understand that many of you will want to see for yourself so I'll link a clip of the scene, which was posted on Weibo. Please be aware before clicking - this is full-on blackface. Always take care of yourselves, and if you think it might be upsetting to you don't click. You don't need to see it to be a 'good fan'.
Background
For those who may not know, this movie was filmed years ago, in 2021. During those years I have seen many anti attacks against DD, claiming that he is racist and has worn blackface. Here's the photo that was circulating back then.
At the time I thought the makeup that he was wearing was likely anti-reflective black paint or camouflage paint such as is used by snipers (which he played in the film). I assumed that he was wearing his own hoodie over part of a military costume, because he was wearing a cammo shirt and what might have been combat trousers.
I was certainly not expecting full-on blackface from this movie.
There's no getting around it - this is extremely difficult to look at.
Blackface is widely viewed as offensive and racist. It shouldn't be hard to understand why. Putting on another person's ethnicity like a costume is deeply insensitive, particularly when you consider that BIPOC (black, indigenous, and other people of color) are so frequently targeted, exploited and marginalized. For those in positions of privilege and power to put on the appearance of the people who they oppress and exploit... it's just shocking and awful.
Blackface is most frequently talked about in an American context, but it's actually a problem globally - including in China. More on all that here.
The film
I have not actually seen the film, so I don't know much about the context beyond what is being discussed in the fandom. As I said earlier, in the film a group of UN police officers need to infiltrate an area in the community and take on disguises in order to do so.
In promotional media this film is being presented as based on true stories from real missions*. It seems the situation in question really happened on a Chinese peacekeeping mission, and the UN troops disguised themselves as black citizens in order to infiltrate and extract the endangered captives.
*I'm going to give them the benefit of the doubt on this because it doesn't change how I feel it should have been handled.
This is important context that is being conveniently left out of much of the backlash about this situation. People are outright claiming that DD plays a black person in the movie - that he wore blackface to perform a role that a black actor could have played. This simply isn't true, and people making these claims are antis and liars. There's simply no excuse for not knowing the full context.
Having said that, I don't really think it matters how it ended up in the film. I do not think there is such a thing as a palatable or appropriate use of blackface. In this day and age it is nearly universally understood to be racist, and it's extremely controversial.
I can understand if they were trying to be accurate to the mission that they were portraying, but surely there are other ways they could have accomplished this scene (perhaps with the clothing but not the blackface). 'Historical accuracy' isn't as important as cultural sensitivity, not by any stretch of the imagination. In the interest of respecting audiences they could have adapted the scene to make the use of blackface unnecessary.
I really see no excuse for anything like this in 2024.
Audience reactions
Chinese sensibilities around these topics are very different from what we are used to in the West.
According to fan repos audiences initially didn't recognize any of the actors, and once it became apparent that they were in disguise, laughter erupted around the room. In fact, most fans are laughing a lot at the photos and video even on social media (although some Chinese netizens have been upset by it and have voiced complaints to various stakeholders).
It is also being widely discussed on Chinese social media as an exciting scene of heroism in the film.
I feel the need to point out that the laughter and mockery is a huge part of the harm, here. As if it's not bad enough that these actors are performing in blackface and presenting a perversion of black ethnicity, it also becomes an opportunity for audiences to mock and disrespect black people. It's become an opportunity for social media to be filled with racist jokes and mockery.
Roadshow statements
There have been some clips circulating of PR and roadshow moments with black cast members and some black audience members who have spoken up in support of the film and to thank the cast and crew for telling the story. Here's one example.
International fans have been dismissing those statements as ignorant or coerced, which I think is offensive and deeply fucked up. There's no planet on which I'm going to - with a totally straight face - say that a black person's response to the movie is not legitimate just because it doesn't comport with my own view.
This is a complex issue and there are inevitably going to be a lot of different perspectives. I hope people won't exacerbate the problem by supplanting black voices on this issue with their own, no matter what's being said. If there's any manipulation going on, let's assume it was in their choosing supportive black figures to speak for the film rather than claim that the black spokespeople are insincere.
China has a lot of issues with racism, there's no doubt about it. It's a huge part of why so many people try to whiten their skin, or why they mock each other when their skin gets tanned/darker. There is a lot of sinister, fucked up stuff going on in China around race - both in the country and in their dealings with other countries.
But we can't claim to speak for black people in China, particularly when they are speaking for themselves! I would hope this is extremely obvious!
Where's DD in all this?
It's understandable that bystanders will react to what they're seeing and might immediately deem it unacceptable - and DD along with it. Their reactions are valid, but as fans I hope that we can look at him with a bit more empathy. I hope that we can take a moment to try to see things from his perspective.
DD has been interested in and an avid fan of black culture since he was a small child. We've all seen how much he immerses himself in hip hop, street dance and the accompanying music and fashion. And yes, he's been accused of cultural appropriation in the past for wearing locs and durags.
However, I think fans need a bit of perspective here to get a sense of where DD might be coming from. Here's a guy who loves black culture, who has close friends who are black, who regularly works with black artists and who supports black artists, in a culture where racism against black people is prevalent and often extreme.
I think DD would probably be amazed to hear the accusations of racism against him. He likely has very few people in his orbit who are anywhere near as supportive of or as closely connected to black people as he is. He likely stands out in his circle as being particularly into black culture and connected with black artists, and probably regularly faces ignorant questions or digs from people around him about his close association with black artists and culture.
Not just because of racism alone, but also due to the racist parallels the government tends to draw between black culture, street dance, hip hop, etc. and criminality/moral degradation*. It's likely that ignorant people in his orbit have expressed concern or wariness toward him because of these associations.
*That is, until breakdancing became an Olympic sport, then they were suddenly onboard with some of it.
I'm not saying that he doesn't have a lot of learning to do (and if this situation becomes what I think it might become, he'll have a big opportunity to do so), I'm just saying that his ignorance isn't mean-spirited. He's coming at this from a totally different angle than any of us are, and he is immersed in a totally different cultural perspective than our own. In his world, his interest likely makes him a bit of an anomaly.
So those painting him as a horrible racist... it's just not how I see it.
The element of choice
I've heard many people say that DD 'didn't have any choice' about this role, that turning it down would not have been an option or that he would be under some kind of threat if he didn't take this role. I don't agree with that characterization of things. I don't think it's quite as 'gun to the head' as a lot of fans paint it.
I think it's more likely that he simply didn't realize that the role would involve blackface when he accepted it, or that he thought that blackface in this context - to infiltrate a terrorist cell and save civilians - would be fine. We don't need to depict China as forcibly compelling actors to take unwanted roles if we want to make sense of this. There are simpler, more logical explanations.
DD wouldn't have been the one deciding how to depict the scene - he didn't have that power in 2021 - but I also doubt he would have had a major problem with it given everything we know.
We must overcome our Western tendency to see things only from our own perspective. This has a totally different cultural context in China, and the voices we listen to about it should not be issuing exclusively from white faces that are not at ground zero of this situation.
Final thoughts
This film has had me worried from day one. I think most people have been expecting it to be full of offensive portrayals and propagandistic fuckery. There are so many ways in which a Chinese film about the UN is potentially a sticky, tricky mess. This blackface thing is likely just one problem on a towering pile of problems.
However, I'm not going to sugarcoat this - this has the potential to be a real shitshow for DD, and I am concerned. Especially if this film gets an international release.
We need to brace ourselves, because I don't think this is going to just disappear. DD has endorsements with international brands, and this could definitely cause backlash for those brands unless the issue is addressed and the scenes removed. There's no planet on which brands like Chanel and Lacoste can afford to have one of their spokespeople plastered everywhere in blackface.
If this film gets an international release and those scenes are left intact, it's possible he will lose some brands.
Let's hope it doesn't come to that, but let's face it - things like this have consequences, and that's why it's so important for producers and artists to be sensitive about what they're portraying.
While I think there's some endorsement risk here for DD, and the potential loss of some international fans, I want to be clear about one thing: I don't think this will threaten his career overall. In China this just isn't an issue in the way it is internationally.
I do hope the film team addresses this issue in some way, ideally by removing the scenes. They just finished doing a massive edit to remove ZZH from the film, surely they can handle something like this. But let's not hold our breath...
Everyone has the right to make up their minds about DD. As I've often said, being a turtle isn't for the faint of heart. That's not just because turtles are frequent targets for bullies, or because we have to constantly live with uncertainty and doubt.
Being an international turtle also isn't for the faint of heart because there are a lot of cultural and political minefields to navigate, and many ideological differences to adapt to. There's a huge learning curve and a lot of unknowns, and turtles who want to survive have to make peace with the fact that we and the boys are from different worlds in many ways. We may never know where they really stand on issues that are important to us.
However, in this case I feel confident that I know where DD's heart is on this issue. He simply doesn't hold hatred, disrespect or disdain for black people. Quite the contrary.
I think we'd all just feel a lot better if he had a good grasp on how to be a better ally.
And while we're waiting for that, I think we should put our money where our mouths are and learn more about these issues ourselves, both in China and locally at home. We want DD to be a better person; let's be better people too.
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lilliumrorum · 4 months
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What does he have that I don’t? (Part One)
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<<Previous | Masterlist | Next>> Synopsis: After discovering your lover's affair with his best friend, you found yourself in emotional turmoil. Seeking comfort, you end up in your captains office for the second time that night.
WC: 2k
Content/Warnings: 18+, MDNI, Verbal abuse, Smut, Cheating, Unrequited love, Threesome is mentioned.
Notes: Sorry this took so long to post, I've been in school, at work or stoned so I didn't have the time. I do now and I'm back!
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Betrayal, heartbreak, shock, and confusion are common reactions in such situations. However, this was definitely not just some situation. The head that was once thrown back in pleasure was now gawking at you, awaiting your reaction.
"[Name]..." Simon sighed.
How could he have expected you to respond? He shared intimacy with someone who understood him better than you ever did—the person he introduced you to just two weeks into your relationship. Johnny was his closest confidant, his right-hand man, the one he would willingly take a bullet for. You're not even sure he would even identify you on the battlefield.
"Sorry I barged in, I'll leave you to yourselves."
"Wait-"
Without granting him the opportunity to finish, you swiftly closed the door and slung the robust duffle bag over your shoulder.
You always had a feeling that he was attracted to Johnny, but didn't think he was aware. Simon wasn't one to express admiration openly, but he consistently praised Johnny as the best sergeant he had ever witnessed in action. You wished Simon would speak about you the way he talked about Johnny, but you never felt jealous. Now, you felt numb, the only sensation you feel is that of your knuckles turning white as you tightly grip your bag.
Wandering aimlessly, you had no idea where to go without a single friend nearby. Sure you had teammates, but you weren't close to any of them. You were genuinely alone, and it seemed even Simon didn't want you around (not that you were planning on going back tonight anyway). You couldn't comprehend how something so right could turn so wrong. Maybe it started when those morning kisses shifted to him leaving under the guise of going for a "run." The movie nights together evolved into you being isolated, reading a book in your dimly lit bedroom, with him conspicuously absent. Your bed was usually always empty, due to Simon's "workload", but there was going to be one less body tonight. It was no longer your bed.
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"Really? Are you actually going to leave me when you've just come home?!"
Simon seemed unbothered by your tear soaked face.
"I don't always want to walk in and deal with your naggin'. Fuckin' Christ, I can't even go for a lap around the base with out your crazy ass losing your shit!" He lashed out.
A whimper left your lips.
"I just missed you, Si! I love you! It's not nagging if I tell you that I want to see you! Where is the man I fell for? Where did his love go? This is not you Simon! It's not fucking you!"
"I never fell. 'Si' does not exist. Simon doesn't fucking exist."
"So you never felt any of it? You've just been faking your way through this entire fucking relationship? Do you even want to try anymore? You don't even fucking care!"
He paused.
"How can I try to feel remorse for a love that was a lie? The only thing I even remotely enjoy about you is that after we fuck you leave me the hell alone and go to sleep." He spat at you coldly.
"Okay... well if Simon doesn't exist then whos been sleeping in my bed?! Who used to kiss my tears away? I want him back. All you ever do now is cause them."
"A ghost." his words dripping with malice as he slammed your door.
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You were too caught up in the sadness of your relationship to realize you were crying or understand what was going on around you. The sadness caused something to decay in your heart. The thought of what you witnessed made you feel nauseous, so you tried to get your conscience off of the present matter. Your thoughts drifted to your captain, the only person you felt you could trust now. He had repeatedly mentioned his availability in his office, even beyond regular hours.
Captain Price was consistently kind. Despite the necessity of sternness in his role as a captain, his gaze was always gentle when directed towards you. As you started to notice the features of the building, a sense of lightness washed over you, as if all your problems faded away upon its sight. You observed a light flicker in response to the loud steps you took across the terrain. The door cracked open, and you saw his eyes start to crinkle when he noticed you.
"Things aren't goin' very well I reckon?" He smiled sympathetically.
"Not at all. I think things wont be going anywhere now. I have nowhere to go."
He cocked an eyebrow at your words, then turned to hold the door. John Price was a genuine gentleman, not someone pretending to be what they weren't, but the authentic, real deal. At times, you wished Simon could be more like him—kind yet firm, resembling an actual person.
"You can tell me about it once we get to my room." He shot you a soft, closed lip smile.
After reaching the stairs in the hall, both of you climbed them wearily. You could sense his gaze on you; he was studying your face. He could see that the whites of your eyes were visibly red from crying, and there was a faint trace of a tear on your cheek. He stopped examining your face as you reached his door. Once more, he held the door open for you as you entered.
"You can place your bag in the closet {name}, I know you've had a hard night."
You followed through, placing the oversized bag on his closet floor. He entered his bedroom with you, staying close in case you needed any assistance. Your face became heated for some reason as you found yourself in the bedroom with your captain. You hurriedly left his bedroom, while he followed slowly with fatigued movements. Upon reaching the living room, he sat down on the couch with a grunt, and you followed suit.
"Tell me all that happened after you left my office." He commanded.
Price was always very protective of you, intervening with Simon when he observed your distressing situation. When he witnessed Simon screaming at you for reaching for his hand, he nearly lost his mind. He couldn't bear the way his lieutenant treated you. Some part of you had always been drawn to your captain. His soft smile and sweet demeanor made you ponder what it would be like to be in a relationship with him. The only obstacle in your path was the age difference, and you were aware that if he ever found out, it would complicate things between you.
"I found him. I found him with someone..."
Your face told him it wasn't just someone.
"Do you know who?"
You nodded slowly, a tear rolling down your cheek. His eyes widened. Just as he was about to ask, you answered.
"Johnny."
His jaw dropped almost comically. He would never suspect Simon to be interested in men, and hearing that he was involved with Johnny just made the news ten times more shocking.
"How can I compare to his best friend? The one who understands him more than I ever will?" You sniffled.
"Sometimes a man does foolish things.."
You turned your gaze to John, anticipating the completion of his sentence. He looked lost in thought.
"But?"
"But nothing. What Lieutenant did was beyond foolish. I've seen the way he's treated you, dear. For the last several months, to be exact."
You stared at him with a questioning expression. If he had noticed, why hadn't he said anything?
"You have?"
A smile tugged at his lips.
"Everyone has, Sergeant. Why else would I be comfortable with you staying here?"
You huffed out a breath,
"If you knew then why didn't you tell me?"
John found himself at a loss for how to respond to your question. On one hand, his lieutenant demonstrated exceptional skills and garnered respect among comrades. On the other hand, you were hardworking, determined, and notably stealthy, often taking the lead in infiltrating enemy bases. Both of you held immense value to the 141, and he was reluctant to risk losing either of you.
"I'm caught in a position where I can't say anything, love."
Your heart fluttered at the nickname.
"Ah. I'm sorry John. I don't want to get you caught in this mess."
Another droplet fell onto your combat pants.
"You weren't the one who made it." He said as he placed his hand on your shoulder.
The pain of witnessing your partner with someone else lingered in your mind, and tears continued to stream down from your reddened eyes. Your cheeks noticeably swelled as you fought to contain your emotions. Did Simon ever truly exist?
Maybe he was right. Maybe the whole time he really did just want a reliable source of pleasure.
"Stop thinkin', love. How about you take a nice shower and change out of that uniform. There's no way in hell that that's comfortable."
With a sniffle and a nod of your head, you made your way to his front door and proceeded to undo your bulky military boots.
"John..."
"Yes Love?"
"Where is your bathroom?"
He huffed out a laugh and tilted his head, signaling for you to follow him. The sound of his laughter enveloped you in a warm, appreciated feeling. As he walked you down the hall, you found yourself imagining what it would be like to truly be loved. The thought crossed your mind that if only John were younger, maybe you could have felt that. You sighed at your thoughts, and he looked at you with a puzzled expression. He opened the door and held it for you once more.
"Make sure not to use all the hot water." He teased.
As you walked in, he left you to yourself. The room had a certain charm to it, although it was evident that a man lived there. It featured dim lighting, a burgundy rug, and a stylish shower that housed some kind of sauna tub beneath it. You couldn't help but doubt whether he had even had the chance to use it. Everything about it appeared brand new.
As you stripped yourself from your clothing, your mind began to wonder. What would've happened if you didn't leave. What would they have done? What would Simon have done?
For some reason, you found yourself fantasizing about them. You were still mad of course, but Imagining Simon feasting on your core as Soap sucked him off was so arousing. It was almost repulsive how vividly your fantasies stirred up that sensation within you. Running the tips of your fingers through Simon's messy blonde hair as his tongue conquered your cunt, looking up at you with those blown out brown eyes. God, Just the thought of it was making you clench.
You started the shower, feeling a sense of self-disgust. Here you were heart broken and now all you can think about is having a threesome.
You took a deep breath and increased the temperature, attempting to divert your attention from the unsettling thoughts in your mind.
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He didn't know what to do with himself. You hadn't stomped back to the room like you usually do. You didn't have any friends nearby to stay with, and you couldn't have gone far.
He glanced at the clock in your living room. It had been almost four hours since you walked in on them.
Where the fuck could you be?
"What're yae so bloody mad about mate? It's not like it's the lass' fault." John said sarcastically.
Simon slammed his hands on the cheap coffee table in front of him as he stood.
"I fuckin' know that."
Johnny searched his eyes, attempting to discern any trace of emotion and understand what thoughts were running through his mind.
"I was kind've hopin' she would join in."
That piqued Simon's interest.
"Yae think it's a proper idea too, huh? I told yae I'm secretly a genius!" The Scot comically jumped as he spoke, adding a touch of humor to the situation.
Maybe Johnny was right. Maybe it was a good idea.
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disneyprincemuke · 7 months
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love like this * aa23
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alex may be the reason your parents are separating, but he proves to you that soulmates still exist
pairings: alex albon x fem!reader
warnings: mentions of divorce
notes: the alex albon tag is waYYYY too dry and i can't keep waiting!!! so i aM TAKING MATTERS INTO MY OWN HANDS!!! also, inspired by that one scene in the office
(f1 masterlist)
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alex was having a great day. he'd woken up with the sun shining brightly on the right side of the bed. to make it even better, he's on his way to spend the day with you.
he had everything planned out: he has a list of activities you could do, movies you could watch, and places to walk at in case the day dragged on too long to stay in. he has a bouquet of flowers pressed against his chest and takeout from your favourite restaurant. he's very excited to finally just lay back with you after a stressful couple of weeks.
that was until you opened the door for him. you were glaring at him like you've never before with your phone pressed up against your ear..
he's in shock when you ignore his lean for a welcoming kiss. you don't even acknowledge the flowers in his hands. you just leave the door open and turn around, walking further into your apartment.
alex walks in hesitantly, slipping off his shoes. typically, he'd leave it by the door under the shoe rack. judging by your mood, however, he neatly places it on the rack.
he loses you in the apartment so he just invites himself in to place his presents on the table.
"love?" alex calls out softly, dragging his feet against the cold tiles of your apartment. "i brought us food."
he finds you in your bedroom, just having ended your phone call. "i got your favourites from your favourite downtown. care to have a meal with me, love?"
you whirl around, now tears in your eyes. "what did you say to my dad?"
alex raises an eyebrow, lips parted in shock at your accusation. he's only met your dad once - 3 days ago after flying in. he knows they clicked because he's found himself a new texting buddy. he's even secured your father tickets to the final race this year, supposedly.
"what do you mean?" alex is careful with his tone. the last thing he wants to do is end up in a fight with you.
"that was my dad on the phone," you point to the device that's on the other side of the bed with your other hand on your hip, "he called me to say that he's filing for a divorce."
alex tilts his head. he's very empathetic, truly, but it's difficult to know what to say to you when he doesn't know what's going on. as far as he knew, he didn't have anything to do with this. "i say this in the lease oblivious way possible... but, why is it me?"
you huff, looking away as tears start to fall out of your eyes. you're very close with your parents and alex knows that. "he said he knew after our dinner that night." you wipe the tears away roughly and look back at him. "what did you say?"
"i," alex trails off at a loss for words. he's trying his best to recall the evening word per word, but nothing comes up. nothing that would warrant your father wanting a divorce from you mother. "my love... i don't know. i didn't say anything to him, i swear!"
"there has to be something." you sound defeated as you drop yourself back into your bed, arms spread out as you stare at the ceiling. "they've been together longer than i've been alive. there's no way this came out of nowhere."
but he really doesn't know what it is. "do you want me to talk to him?"
"no!" you shriek, sitting up quickly at his proposition. "you've done enough, alex! don't talk to my dad!"
he stands at your door, shoulders slumped and mouth gaping wordlessly at you. you do feel bad that you're taking it out on him. but your dad didn't elaborate further when he told you. he said he'll do it in person when he arrives at your apartment.
"i'm sorry," alex finally says. "i don't know what i could have said for this to happen... but i'm so sorry."
the doorbell echoes throughout your apartment, followed by a loud knock that's softened by your distance from the door. you sigh, shaking your head slightly as you get to your feet. "that's my dad."
"okay," alex nods, walking towards your bed. "i will stay here until you've talked. okay?"
you nod, muttering back a soft "okay".
you don't say another word as you pass him. but there's a warmth that explodes within your arm when his hand wraps itself around your elbow.
"i love you," alex says, tilting his head as he anticipates your response.
you nod weakly. "i love you."
the next 10 minutes pass by very slowly. from the comfort of your bed, alex heard nothing but silence for the first few minutes. suddenly, the apartment drowned in your sobs while you dad tries to calm you down.
it took everything in him not to come out to get you in his arms. he hates it when you're upset.
he tried not to eavesdrop on your conversation. not that you'd even spoken loud enough for him to make out words from either of you. so he settled for instagram, but even that wasn't entertaining enough to keep him occupied.
so then he moved on to tiktok, but that was too overstimulating for his head. he just wanted it all to be over and have you explain everything to him.
what kept everything moving quickly was when a notification from george came through, prompting a quick game of 8ball on message. it was entertaining: the insults from george as he slowly won.
but his eagerness to shove the win in his friend's face is quickly forgotten when he hears the front door close. the phone is thrown into your duvet and he pads towards the door.
he creaks it open, popping his head through the door. "my love."
"alex," you sigh from your door, hand still clutching onto the handle. you choke back on a sob at his name, falling to your knees.
"hey!" he runs to your aid, arms instinctively wrapping around you. he brushes his fingers through your hair as he sits back and pulls you into his lap.
your face is buried in his shirt as you continue to cry.
"i'm sorry about everything, my love," he hums, cheeks resting on the crown of your head. you clutch onto his shirt with everything you've got, still in disbelief at how everything crumbled down so quick.
your parents had always been your role model. their relationship was the clear benchmark to what you looked for your whole life. never did you think that the love of your life would be the downfall of that.
"it's," you take a deep breath and exhale shakily, "it's okay."
"is it," alex isn't sure he's ready for the answer, "really because of me?"
you nod, the tip of your nails tracing the design on his shirt. "my dad..."
"i'm really sorry. did he tell you what i said that caused all this?" alex has had his fair share of separated parents. he's been through this before, but he was fairly young when it happened.
perhaps it never gets any easier despite age.
you nod again. you lift your head and scramble slowly to untangle yourself from you. "he did tell me what happened," you whisper. you crawl to the empty spot in front of alex, mimicking his position - legs crossed and back pressed against the wall.
you reach forward to take his hands into yours. "when we went to dinner and i left for the bathroom... he told me that you told him how much you loved me... and how you feel when i walk into the room.
"the way that i make everything better, especially on days where everything just doesn't seem right. and how... i make you want to be a better version of yourself," you swallow the lump in your throat, your grip tightening around his hand that you could barely feel yours. "about how sure you are that i'm your soulmate. i guess he had never felt that way about my mum even after all these years."
alex is slightly appalled. all of those were said to your dad in confidence. none of those were supposed to get back to you, because he truly believed that it could lose meaning if you find all of that out.
but you've never been loved like this before. and truly, it felt exhilarating to know that love like this exists. and you've found it in the one person that made your heart flutter when you're together.
"are you okay?"
"i'm okay," you nod. you give his hand a final squeeze before getting to your knees. you throw your arms around him, bumping your head very lightly into the wall behind him. "thank you."
"what for?"
"for loving me the way that you do."
he tightens his arms around your waist, his face buried into your shoulder. "and thank you for showing me what love really is."
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kindnessoverperfection · 10 months
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I want to break down a common point of conflict when addressing NPD stigma.
A lot of hangups people have tend to be along the lines of "but I DO see a lot of people with actual NPD who are acting in toxic or abusive ways".
This will be kind of long, so bear with me.
Point #1: People are way more likely to be diagnosed if they exhibit "stereotypical" symptoms.
There's this image of NPD as a disorder that is only present in those with patterns of destructive behavior towards others. Many therapists have this conception. (Shockingly, the mental health field is not perfect & without stigma.)
Gonna copy-paste this here from my other blog (so forgive me if you've seen it before), because it's a good example.
Three people are criticized at work. Their boss yells at them for their performance in front of everyone. Person A gets mad and defensive. They yell back, using cutting remarks as a way to try and ease the distress they feel. Person B acts really mature and responsible the whole time, nodding along and agreeing and promising to do better, just desperate to maintain and improve their status. Desperate to be liked. Later they go home and handle their distress through self-destructive means, and spend the next few months overworking themself to the point of illness. Person C doesn't seem to respond much at all. They go quiet and seem distant. They don't lash out or lash in, but for the next month or so, their productivity drops. They simply aren't able to focus on work or self-care, no matter how hard they try. The stress is overwhelming. All three of these people have the same root issues, but only the first would be labeled a narcissist. Outwards behaviors and presentations don't reflect the pain, distress, and difficulties with life that are underlying them.
So, three main things happen.
There ends up being a higher rate of people with destructive behaviors who are diagnosed with NPD
The people who don't particularly exhibit behaviors and are considered ""too nice to have it"" are overlooked entirely (and never get any sort of help for their underlying issues, yayyy)
People are more likely to be more honest about "ugly" symptoms / symptoms that are frowned down upon than they are in other mental health communities.
(Also some people decide to act super edgy about it, which is annoying but here we are. Some of them are trolls.)
(And while I'm at it, some people are misdiagnosed with NPD because a psych sees someone who committed a violent crime and is like "uhh slap them with the Evil Asshole™ disorders!! no further thought given.")
Point #2: People who have messed up are not inhuman monsters who deserve no help or support
While I do think it's important for people to understand that patterns of toxic behaviors aren't the ONLY way NPD can present, I'm not going to let the conversation stop at "some of us are nice though!!"
Human beings aren't RPG characters who can be sorted into "monster" or "ally". Every single person has done something hurtful, has messed up, exhibits some sort of behavior that puts strain on their relationships sometimes.
So I'll bullet point some aspects of this that need to be talked about.
People without NPD also commonly exhibit toxic behaviors, but people ignore that nowadays. Either they armchair diagnose anyone who's slightly rude, or they only focus on it in pwNPD and ignore it in themselves or others. NTs can be jerks too, and they're probably less likely to acknowledge it than pwNPD who are constantly watching and checking themselves and analyzing their behaviors and attempting to do better.
Assuming that NPD makes someone abusive doesn't help anyone. Can it impact behaviors, and make it more difficult for people to be self-aware? Of course. But an important step in healing from any mental health condition (especially personality disorders, ime) is realizing that you're not inherently ""bad"", and that you can take responsibility for your actions and learn to deal with things in constructive ways. Just going "NPD makes people bad, full stop"- other than being a mean shitty thing to say- absolves people of guilt and asserts that there's no reason for them to try and improve.
Yes, it's okay for people to hate their abusers. Their abuser. Not an entire community of people who happen to (maybe) share a trait with them.
Building on the above point, people tend to go in defense mode when they hear things like "pwNPD who have acted in toxic ways can learn to improve their behavior", "people shouldn't be saying awful things about folks with this condition", etc. because they automatically try to apply this to their abuser. Interpersonal situations are very different from society-wide mental health access. No, don't stay with your abuser expecting them to change, and don't hold onto the hope that they will. No, don't censor yourself or your hatred or anger towards them. Just don't make blanket statements about a disorder that they may or may not have- blame their abusive actions, not their mental health.
"I hate you for your abusive actions and the harm that you caused me." =/= "I hate a group of people because of an inherent unchangeable part of them that's tied directly to severe childhood trauma they suffered. Because of it, they're evil and unlovable and are incapable of change. They're inhuman and will never experience real connection with others." ..........See the difference??
Even if there were a disorder with a 100% rate of toxic douchey behaviors, I'd want the conversation around it to be changed. I'd want different words to be used to divide up the spaces and conversations and resources, so that survivors of abusive or toxic behavior can get help, but that the disorder still has space to be treated. Otherwise, there are zero resources for healing. Nothing is being done to help these people or solve the issue. They're just told they may as well not try. They're blocked from healthcare entirely, despite how the entire point of being diagnosed with a condition is supposed to be to treat it.
There's a wide range of people who have NPD- it presents in many different ways, a person who has it may or may not exhibit harmful behaviors- but no one deserves to be denied treatment or told they're unlovable because of a condition they have that was formed from trauma.
Speak out against abusive behavior. Don't destroy healthcare for a medical condition.
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