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mems-sama · 3 days

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Show, Don't Tell: The Art of Bringing Your Writing to Life!

Alright, fellow wordsmiths, let's talk about a common trap many writers fall into: telling instead of showing. 🚫📝

Picture this: You're reading a story, and instead of feeling like you're right there in the moment, you're being told what's happening. It's like watching a movie with the narrator constantly interrupting to explain everything. Not cool, right?

So, what's the deal with showing vs. telling? It's all about painting a vivid picture with your words. Instead of saying, "She was sad," you'd describe how her eyes welled up with tears, her shoulders slumped, and her voice trembled. That way, the reader feels her sadness, rather than just being told about it.

So, how do we show instead of tell? Easy! Take a moment to observe the world around you. Notice the little details—the way sunlight filters through leaves, the sound of rain tapping against the window, the smell of freshly baked bread. Then, describe those details in your writing to create a rich, immersive experience for your readers. Trust me, they'll thank you for it! 😉📚

But wait! We're not done yet! Bet you thought we were, except no. Anyhoo, let's continue.

All right, let's break this down! We've got two groups in the mix:

Group 1, aka the yellow team, deals with all the stuff we can see, hear, smell, touch, and taste—basically, anything we can sense with our five senses.

Then we've got Group 2, repping the red and green. This crew is all about the things that are a bit more personal and inside our heads—like our feelings (that's the red zone) and our thoughts (yep, you guessed it, the green zone).

Now, when we're chatting with someone, we're usually hanging out in the yellow zone. We're picking up on all those sensory cues to understand what's going on. But when it comes to figuring out what someone else is thinking or feeling (you know, diving into the red and green), we've got to pay super close attention to their words, actions, and body language.

So, next time you're chatting with someone, keep your senses sharp and tune in to those verbal and nonverbal cues to really understand where they're coming from. It's all about staying connected and being mindful of those around you!

Now that we got that covered, let's give you some examples from actual writing by yours truly:

Okay, so check it: This sentence straight-up tells you how Salvatore feels, leaving absolutely no room for imagination. And guess what? That's the opposite of what we want to do as writers.

We want to paint a picture with our words, not just spell it out like a dictionary. So, how do we flip the script and show instead of tell, you ask?

Easy! Instead of saying, "Salvatore felt sad" you describe how he appears. Maybe you describe the drooping of his shoulders, the frown on his face, and even a tear slipping down his cheek.

This way, your reader feels his sadness, instead of just being told about it.

It's all about using those descriptive details to create a vibe, you know? 🌟

Alright, so now we've got this sentence that's like, "Salvatore is feeling sad because his uncle passed away." It's like a peek into Salvatore's heart, showing us the real deal: grief.

But here's the thing: we want to make sure our writing isn't just stating the obvious. We want our readers to feel what Salvatore's feeling, you know? So, instead of just saying, "He's sad," we want to paint a picture with our words that really hits home.

Imagine describing how Salvatore feels like there's a weight in his chest that is now an unbearable reminder of the loss he's faced with. I could have also gone further to describe how his shoulders slump under the weight of his grief, and how each breath feels like a struggle, but I didn't.

Anyway, this is the kind of stuff that makes the reader experience the emotion, not just read about it.

Here are some more examples:

Telling: She was nervous about the presentation.

Showing: Her hands trembled as she arranged her notes for the presentation. She took deep breaths, trying to calm her racing heart.

and

Telling: He was just so in love with her.

Showing: Every time she entered the room, his face lit up, and he couldn't stop smiling. He found himself thinking about her constantly, and even the mention of her name made his heart skip a beat.

Last one

Telling: The room was messy.

Showing: Clothes were strewn across the floor, papers piled high on the desk, and books lay scattered around the room.

Remember, dive deep and really show the descriptions and emotions observed. Write what your character is feeling in that particular moment by describing both their physical and emotional state. 📝

But sometimes just describing what's happening isn't enough.

Like, when you want to show how your characters are feeling, but it's not as simple as saying, "They're stressed."

That's where figurative language comes in—think similes, analogies, and metaphors. They help you paint a picture and describe what's going on inside someone's head or heart.

Instead of just telling the reader, "Hey, this character is stressed," you can say something like, "They feel like they're juggling flaming swords while walking a tightrope."

It's like, bam! Now you've got this vivid image that lets the reader really feel the weight of the stress without you having to spell it out.

Figurative language is like adding a splash of colour to your writing—it makes it pop! It gives the reader room to interpret and feel things in their own way, which is what makes stories so powerful.

So remember: describe what you see, and when you need that extra oomph, then sprinkle in some figurative language.

You might ask why is telling bad writing and something we should stay away from 99% of the time?

First things first, it's all about keeping it real. As real as we can possibly make it feel. You feel me?

When we're out here in the world, we're not just taking things at face value. We're observing, we're inferring, we're picking up on all these vibes to understand what's really going on with people.

That's just how we humans roll, you know? We're not robots—we're all about those thoughts and feelings, right?

And that's how we connect with one another. It's also how we make sense of the world around us, like we said before. When you're trying to understand someone or write about the human experience, remember: it's all about those observations and inferences.

The second and absolute worst thing, is that you're basically taking away the reader's superpower: the ability to use their imagination and envision the story with you. And that's the beauty of writing, you know?

Writing is like setting the stage for a play, and the readers are the actors who bring it to life in their minds. When you describe a scene, you're like the director, giving them the setting, the characters, and the basic plot. But it's up to the readers to imagine the details, the emotions, and the thoughts of the characters.

It's this collaboration between the writer and the reader that makes storytelling so magical.

You're showing them what's going on, painting this vivid picture with your words, and then letting them do all the heavy lifting in their minds—imagining the thoughts and feelings, filling in all those juicy details.

That's where the real magic happens. 🌟

It's also how you get your readers totally hooked on your writing. But when you take that away with telling then you're doing your reader a grave travesty and this is why the second point is the absolute worst thing.

Another valid question, why do writers tend to fall to the telling instead of the showing?

Here's the thing, getting good at showing instead of telling takes time and lots of lots of lots of practice.

If you're not quite there yet, no worries—it's a skill that develops over years with a ton of practice and feedback too. You know you're telling instead of showing when an experienced writer is like, "Hey, you're still telling here!" This is why it's important to share your work even if it feels super scary and daunting to do.

Another thing is, sometimes we writers get a bit anxious that our readers won't get what we're trying to say, so we just spell it out for them.

It's like, "My writing might not be clear enough, so let me just tell them exactly what I mean." But hey, we've all been there! It's all part of the learning process. And the best way to get better at something is to keep doing it over and over and over again until we get the hang of it and it gets easier.

Build that writing muscle and keep writing. Hope this helped. Thank you for reading and check you on the next one!

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shastafirecracker · 1 day

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Trigun Fic Appreciation Week, Throwback Style: TiggyMalvern

I love all the folks active in the fandom right now, the amazing stories currently percolating or being written or being posted, keeping this incredible fandom alive and thriving. But I want to take a sec to highlight someone whose Trigun fics are from ye olden days, who is buried at the back of the archive, and who maybe not enough new fans have heard of.

@tiggymalvern was writing Trigun fic back in ye olden days of LiveJournal, the early naughts, when the first anime was out and the manga was only half-finished and when a new issue came out we all waited with bated breath for someone to post scans of the original Japanese or for "Make A Little Lightbulb In Your Soul" to translate what pages they could. We didn't know how this story was going to end; there was a time when Wolfwood had died in the 98 anime but not yet in the manga, the canon that really counts, and the realists expected he would probably die there too, but we didn't know when or how or if. It was a small fandom, smaller if you were into the manga and not just the anime that had been on Adult Swim.

Tiggy wrote Vashwood fics that changed my brain chemistry forever. Tiggy's were the first stories I ever read that made sex scenes fascinating. In hindsight I know I was a baby ace who sort of skimmed a lot of tab A/slot B sex scenes in fics and that the simple mechanics weren't titillating to me. But I was also a baby writer, and I knew that it was weird for something as emotionally weighted as sex to be... just kind of boring? And then I read some of Tiggy's fics, the Balance and Evolving Arrangement stories, and The Loneliness of the Long Distance Traveler, and suddenly I was hit over the head with how emotionally complex and character-revealing sex scenes in fic could be.

I've been chasing how Tiggy's fics made me feel as a teenager for as long as I've been writing. Those stories felt like endlessly unfolding origami in my brain when I was younger. I attribute 100% to Tiggy my habit of writing kink into my ships as a way of exploring more convoluted emotions than just lust - I think that my VWL stories are basically a culmination of 20 years of writing practice that got its first kick in the ass from Tiggy's Balance & Asymmetry.

So please please please if you're a fan who hasn't dipped back into the old school fic, or who searches in the Trigun Stampede tag and misses the gems in the Trigun (Anime & Manga 1995-2008) tag (which used to be simply "Trigun"), go check out TiggyMalvern on AO3. Their stories are pretty heavily manga-based, but worth the read even if you aren't intimately familiar with the manga.

#trigunfanficappreciation #trigun #trigun maximum #trigun fanfiction #tiggymalvern #sf writes #every time there's this stupid debate over whether sex should ~ever be in fiction~#because it ~can't possibly add anything of value~#i think of tiggy's fics and how those scenes had more salient and powerful character analysis #than like 90% of other fanfiction i'd ever read

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wings-of-ink · 2 days

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I also want to start and IF, im already a writer on wattpad and I want to expand my horizons but I have absolutely no clue about coding and stuff

Is it difficult to code?

That is awesome and wonderful! I highly encourage you to take the plunge and try it out. I would not say coding is difficult, but it's not exactly easy either. You're literally learning a new language depending on how deep into it you go. For me, the way I did it was to learn, say, basic phrases ("Where is your bathroom," or "I'd like a glass of water") and grammar for this language. I'm not fluent, but I'm getting by. You don't have to have it mastered before you start.

For a long-winded breakdown, see below!

I knew absolutely zero code when I started this out. I just knew I wanted to do it so badly. There are good resources online to help you as well, especially questions on forums because we are not the only newbies in this with questions. I find the Twine cookbook thing to be a bit of a nightmare to understand, lol. I am more a type of person that needs to see something in action or do something to truly get it. I cannot just read something and understand it at all.

Two things I did that helped me a lot was to start a Twine project and enter all the code I learned into it and I also started a story to test it all out. I made notes to myself in these to remind me of what they do and how they work as well. I still have those and use them when I learn new things or if I find a new macro that I want to use.

If the Twine documents don't work for you, do a simple internet search for what you need. I started to learn the Harlowe code first, and I honestly found that more difficult than Sugarcube. As a side note, when I started this, I didn't even know that there were multiple languages that Twine could use! When you find a guide or a forum post that is useful, save it! Copy/Paste it or bookmark it. Put the code in Twine and test it right away. You'll find that it all starts making more sense to see it in action.

I can't tell you how many times I've Googled "Twine Sugarcube *insert code issue or desired outcome.*"

I also recommend finding a free coding class just to familiarize yourself with the basic function of html. I did one on codeacademy.com. There's also youtube videos out there from people who really know what they're doing.

It's not all sunshine and rainbows, so go into it knowing you are going to have really aggravating moments. I had times where I was trying so hard to understand this stuff that ended in a few tears of frustration. I'm a person who believes they can learn to do anything, but it takes pushing through those frustrating moments to get there. Our brains sometimes literally try to get us to quit stuff when it gets hard - we are wired to take the easy way out and when it's not easy, the brain is like - THIS IS PAIN. But I feel that if you push against that anyway, you'll get over that wall and things will start falling into place.

Sorry for rambling and I hope this helps you in some way, Anon! ^_^

I could go on, but for your sake, I'll stop there lol. If you have any other questions, please feel free to drop them in!

#god cursed if #asks #twine if #twine wip

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mishkakagehishka · 2 months

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I just . Repeating "characters are tools" you end up erasing so much about arashi's character and motivations and interactions with other characters if you avoid using her pronouns aka avoid showing she's transgender. It's on the same level of frustration with the translators i had when i saw they had Mika speaking standard English, there's a LOT that gets lost if you don't show those little things.

#and sure maybe some things wouldn't matter bc - i don't read many knights stories so beyond what's mentioned ab arashi in stories i've read #like those featuring mika and such #so i can't say for her but i can say for mika - because a lot of it is touched upon in ! which isn't getting translated #mika talks about his accent and dialect and such the most in ! HOWEVER #you still have idol story 3 where he talks with Tsumugi about how people perceive him because of his accent and #about how he feels like he's letting people down by not conforming to the positive stereotypes associated with his speech #and if you make him speak the standard language you completely lose that layer #if you erase the fact that Arashi is transgender you completely lose that layer of her characterisation and motivations #she literally has a story in !! where she talks about how much it hurts her to always be cast as the male character #in princess-knight themed shoots when all she wants to be is the princess #but how are you gonna get the full context of that if the story refuses to give you the context you had in the original #ie. that Arashi uses the (hyper)feminine ''atashi'' pronoun and that her speech pattern is one associated with young women #in ! she has a line where she asks i believe koga to not use the slur used for effeminate/gay men for her #because her name is arashi narukami and if anything she wants to be called arashi-chan or naruko #which is also additional context lost if you don't translate it right - the -ko suffix in a name is traditionally feminine #i'm no expert either but i'm a writer and i plan on working as a translator #and these are things that - if lost in translation - will impact your understanding of the entire story and/or character #whether it will have you completely misunderstanding it or just being confused is irrelevant but it's like #in my opinion as a translator it's your duty to translate even the subtext #if you need to show that arashi is transgender you don't need to say it (even tho #she did once say ''i will never be the woman i want to be'' iirc and #i do have recollection of mika telling her ''i don't really get it but you're a girl right?'')#but you should give us the same chance to come to the same conclusions which is to say. translate naruko to the best of your abilities.#idfk Nary maybe ? i feel like the -y ending is usually diminutive rather than feminine but.#something to that tune. and give her a girly speech pattern. it exists in english too.#slang can be associated with gender too #like you guys get it right.

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onyourstageleft · 9 months

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about to unblock the good omens tags bc we just finished our binge of season 2 so it's all hands on deck make my dash good omens

#spoilers in the tags do not read these tags if you do not want spoilers #i had seen v little before i blocked the tags which I'm happy about going in blind was perfect #but uhhh I NEED SOME FIX IT FICS #wherever you writers are holed up writing it rn just know you have my support and readership #rec me that shit as soon as you post it #when i saw that neil gaiman said it's a love story and he told it like a love story #i didn't expect an actual confession like that!!!#crowley was right it's supposed to be THEIR SIDE #TOGETHER #not in heaven you dumbass angel #also i feel like Metatron is up to SOMETHING #he was a little too happy that the ineffable husbands separated #I don't like that shit at all

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orcelito · 1 year

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But. Yeah. i finished reading trigun maximum.

this manga ripped me apart limb from limb, then put me back together again. never have i felt a catharsis this deep before. a manga that made me cry seven times, as opposed to the previous record holders of two times each.

it really is something special. and i love it so, so, SO much.

#speculation nation #fanny reads trigun #gonna have to retire that tag maybe #unless i wanna post some dumb screenshots of subsequent read throughs #i do plan on grabbing icons of both wolfwood and vash #probably only them tbh. MAYBE elendira if for nothing else than i LOVE the expressions she makes #and livio. what a big lovable doofus.#elendira and livio tho r around MUCH less often than vash and wolfwood lol. So.#i have some more solid ideas for what i wanna do for my trigun longfic #i know the Exact moment that would work for my purposes.#and right now it feels a little cheap to do. bc it gets rid of that ending. which really was such a satisfying ending.#but get this. i want wolfwood back. SO.#i will do my gay little time manipulations to put wolfwood back into the story. as is my right as a fanfic writer.#(if u missed my last post about it i wanna do a time travel fic for vash lol. a la NG+ for persona games.)#(NG+ is of course very common in persona fandoms & i love the concept. havent seen it in trigun yet so i wanna do one myself)#so. yea. anyways. i love trigun maximum and i could not POSSIBLY recommend it more #yes it made the person who cried only like 4 times TOTAL last year cry seven times by itself #beefed this year's count from 3 to 10 in LESS than a day. jeeeeze #it's so good tho. soooo fucking good. the Tragedy. the Angst. im so in love with it it's unreal.#if you guys thought i couldnt be more obnoxious about trigun WELL you have only seen the beginning #i dont get into new interests easily. not genuinely. once smth reaches this status it is fucking Staying #in the same way that ive been a persona fan since 2014 & show no signs of stopping #i just know that trigun is here to stay in my heart.#which is good for the people who have followed me for trigun!!! hiiiiiiiii #trigun spoilers/

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troubadour-malin · 1 year

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vent in the tags!

#so i have a few original stories on wattpad #one dates back to 2019 #it's the first piece of writing that I've ever completed and while it obviously has its flaws i'm very fond and proud of it #it gets a lot of reads and someone started reading it and leaving comments this week #and i'm always grateful for readers and comments but like #at first the person seemed to enjoy it #and then they started to complain about the length of the chapters #and fair enough I get that 100 words is pretty much very short for a chapter #this is a short story and I made it to feel like 'fragments' of thoughts and story #and honestly the length of the chapters is one of the things that got me to complete it eventually #but alright. This reader doesn't like that it's so short. I'm not upset about that it's a perfectly valid point to make.#and ok even if i didn't ask for it i guess that counts as constructive criticism so i get where they were coming from #but then they kept on commenting about how it was 'ruining' the story and how 'unpleasant' it was #and that what is bugging me right now because like... i put my work out on the internet for free #and while you have every right not to like it #it's hurtful to read that what you poured your soul into is 'unpleasant' to read..... i get that not everybody is gonna like what i do but #i just can't understand why they didn't just... stop reading instead of pushing and commenting some more about the same thing.#I know i'm upset over a really small thing and ultimately as long as I'm happy with my own work it's all that matters #obviously i'm no professional writer and criticism could help me get better but I find this kind of 'criticism' especially unhelpful #I wrote this back when I was sixteen and it's for free on wattpad so obviously it's not gonna be perfect or even good #I made this for myself first and then decided to share it with other people so why do they act like i'm responsible for 'ruining' the story #HOW COULD I POSSIBLY RUIN A STORY THAT I WROTE MYSELF what the hell #I don't even know what I'm trying to say actually #I'm just upset about this and how rude some people on the internet can get without even realizing #anyways if you read all this i hope you're having an amazing week #so' speaks

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mishapen-dear · 2 years

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one of the loveliest things about posting fic on ao3 is getting to see one person leave kudos on multiple stories like. hello stranger ;^; im glad you liked my writing enough to read more of my writing

#it’s why i havent turned off the kudo email notifs yet #and tbh one of the things that keeps me from looking at Numbers because number are frivlous and dependant on trend/day/chance #but fuckin. more than one person who wants to read more of the words ive written? v special #idk there’s something v humanizing about that #it makes me think about a dm i got a long time ago #someone who wanted to copy/paste my fic into their minecraft library #a) that would have been just one set of numbers #but holy shit. they wanted to take some of my words and put it in their game #b) if that world wasnt deleted then that little book with my inexperienced baby writer words is still out there #like i dont delete my works because i am Heartbroken when other people delete theirs #but. something about the act of preserverence also being an act of love #(<- good horror concept right there)#and its just one person. one number. and an entire saved copy of my work #i forgot about that until today is the craziest thing #hm i thibk i should go to bed #but no yeah someone choosing to read more than one of my stories and make it all the way thru to leave kudos feels exactly the same way as #getting asked by some kid to send them my fic in their dms so they could put it in their library

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burntoutdaydreamer · 6 months

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Things That May Be Causing Your Writer's Block- and How to Beat Them

I don't like the term 'Writer's Block' - not because it isn't real, but because the term is so vague that it's useless. Hundreds of issues all get lumped together under this one umbrella, making writer's block seem like this all-powerful boogeyman that's impossible to beat. Worse yet, it leaves people giving and receiving advice that is completely ineffective because people often don't realize they're talking about entirely different issues.

In my experience, the key to beating writer's block is figuring out what the block even is, so I put together a list of Actual Reasons why you may be struggling to write:

(note that any case of writer's block is usually a mix of two or more)

Perfectionism (most common)

What it looks like:

You write one sentence and spend the next hour googling "synonyms for ___"

Write. Erase. Write. Rewrite. Erase.

Should I even start writing this scene when I haven't figured out this one specific detail yet?

I hate everything I write

Cringing while writing

My first draft must be perfect, or else I'm a terrible writer

Things that can help:

Give yourself permission to suck

Keep in mind that nothing you write is going to be perfect, especially your first draft

Think of writing your first/early drafts not as writing, but sketching out a loose foundation to build upon later

People write multiple drafts for a reason: write now, edit later

Stop googling synonyms and save that for editing

Write with a pen to reduce temptation to erase

Embrace leaving blank spaces in your writing when you can't think of the right word, name, or detail

It's okay if your writing sucks. We all suck at some point. Embrace the growth mindset, and focus on getting words on a page

Lack of inspiration (easiest to fix)

What it looks like:

Head empty, no ideas

What do I even write about???

I don't have a plot, I just have an image

Want to write but no story to write

Things that can help:

Google writing prompts

If writing prompts aren't your thing, instead try thinking about what kind of tropes/genres/story elements you would like to try out

Instead of thinking about the story you would like to write, think about the story you would like to read, and write that

It's okay if you don't have a fully fleshed out story idea. Even if it's just an image or a line of dialogue, it's okay to write that. A story may or may not come out of it, but at least you got the creative juices flowing

Stop writing. Step away from your desk and let yourself naturally get inspired. Go for a walk, read a book, travel, play video games, research history, etc. Don't force ideas, but do open up your mind to them

If you're like me, world-building may come more naturally than plotting. Design the world first and let the story come later

Boredom/Understimulation (lost the flow)

What it looks like:

I know I should be writing but uugggghhhh I just can'tttttt

Writing words feels like pulling teeth

I started writing, but then I got bored/distracted

I enjoy the idea of writing, but the actual process makes me want to throw my laptop out the window

Things that can help:

Introduce stimulation: snacks, beverages, gum, music such as lo-fi, blankets, decorate your writing space, get a clickity-clackity keyboard, etc.

Add variety: write in a new location, try a new idea/different story for a day or so, switch up how you write (pen and paper vs. computer) or try voice recording or speech-to-text

Gamify writing: create an arbitrary challenge, such as trying to see how many words you can write in a set time and try to beat your high score

Find a writing buddy or join a writer's group

Give yourself a reward for every writing milestone, even if it's just writing a paragraph

Ask yourself whether this project you're working on is something you really want to be doing, and be honest with your answer

Intimidation/Procrastination (often related to perfectionism, but not always)

What it looks like:

I was feeling really motivated to write, but then I opened my laptop

I don't even know where to start

I love writing, but I can never seem to get started

I'll write tomorrow. I mean next week. Next month? Next month, I swear (doesn't write next month)

Can't find the time or energy

Unreasonable expectations (I should be able to write 10,000 words a day, right????)

Feeling discouraged and wondering why I'm even trying

Things that can help:

Follow the 2 min rule (or the 1 paragraph rule, which works better for me): whenever you sit down to write, tell yourself that you are only going to write for 2 minutes. If you feel like continuing once the 2 mins are up, go for it! Otherwise, stop. Force yourself to start but DO NOT force yourself to continue unless you feel like it. The more often you do this, the easier it will be to get started

Make getting started as easy as possible (i.e. minimize barriers: if getting up to get a notebook is stopping you from getting started, then write in the notes app of your phone)

Commit to a routine that will work for you. Baby steps are important here. Go with something that feels reasonable: every day, every other day, once a week, twice a week, and use cues to help you remember to start. If you chose a set time to write, just make sure that it's a time that feels natural to you- i.e. don't force yourself to writing at 9am every morning if you're not a morning person

Find a friend or a writing buddy you can trust and talk it out or share a piece of work you're proud of. Sometimes we just get a bit bogged down by criticism- either internal or external- and need a few words of encouragement

The Problem's Not You, It's Your Story (or Outline (or Process))

What it looks like:

I have no problems writing other scenes, it's just this scene

I started writing, but now I have no idea where I'm going

I don't think I'm doing this right

What's an outline?

Drowning in documents

This. Doesn't. Make. Sense. How do I get from this plot point to this one?!?!?! (this ColeyDoesThings quote lives in my head rent free cause BOY have I been there)

Things That Can Help:

Go back to the drawing board. Really try to get at the root of why a scene or story isn't working

A part of growing as a writer is learning when to kill your darlings. Sometimes you're trying to force an idea or scene that just doesn't work and you need to let it go

If you don't have an outline, write one

If you have an outline and it isn't working, rewrite it, or look up different ways to structure it

You may be trying to write as a pantser when you're really a plotter or vice versa. Experiment with different writing processes and see what feels most natural

Study story structures, starting with the three act structure. Even if you don't use them, you should know them

Check out Ellen Brock on YouTube. She's a professional novel editor who has a lot of advice on writing strategies for different types of writers

Also check out Savage Books on YouTube (another professional story editor) for advice on story structure and dialogue. Seriously, I cannot recommend this guy enough

Executive Dysfunction, Usually From ADHD/Autism

What it looks like:

Everything in boredom/understimulation

Everything in intimidation/procrastination

You have been diagnosed with and/or have symptoms of ADHD/Autism

Things that can help:

If you haven't already, seek a diagnosis or professional treatment

Hire an ADHD coach or other specialist that can help you work with your brain (I use Shimmer; feel free to DM me for a referral)

Seek out neurodiverse communities for advice and support

Try body doubling! There's lot's of free online body doubling websites out there for you to try. If social anxiety is a barrier, start out with writing streams such as katecavanaughwrites on Twitch

Be aware of any sensory barriers that may be getting in the way of you writing (such as an uncomfortable desk chair, harsh lighting, bad sounds)

And Lastly, Burnout, Depression, or Other Mental Illness

What it looks like:

You have symptoms of burnout or depression

Struggling with all things, not just writing

It's more than a lack of inspiration- the spark is just dead

Things that can help:

Forget writing for now. Focus on healing first.

Seek professional help

If you feel like it, use writing as a way to explore your feelings. It can take the form of journaling, poetry, an abstract reflection of your thoughts, narrative essays, or exploring what you're feeling through your fictional characters. The last two helped me rediscover my love of writing after I thought years of depression had killed it for good. Just don't force yourself to do so, and stop if it takes you to a darker place instead of feeling cathartic

#writing #creative writing #writer problems #writing advice #writing community #writing a book #writing problems #novel writing #on writing #writing tips #writing help #writers on tumblr #writers block #female writers #writers of tumblr #writers blog #adhd writer

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waterberry-strawmelon · 5 months

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#THE STRENGTH OF WILL I AM CURRENTLY EXERTING RIGHT NOW NOT TO SEND A FACETIOUS ANON TO AN INCEST SHIP WRITER #SHOULD MAKE ME A GODDAMN GREEN LANTERN #I wouldn’t send anyone anon hate I genuinely Do Not Care that much #but I just read a really great 25k fic #So that was like an hour of my time #wasted on someone who I really hope doesn’t have siblings cuz my god you’re a fucking creep.#sometimes I want to go into these peoples inboxes and just genuinely ask them #‘Hey man. why do you ship incest? Thats kind of a wild thing to do.’#but then I remember I have a physical body and this is just a weird little thing on my phone #But I still feel so angry. My head hurts lol #anyways I’m holding myself back from that person’s inbox by the shirt collar rn #I’m in a very ‘let me at em!’ mood tonight #ugh. I just wish I wouldn’t even have to see this shit and get attached to good stories written by gross weirdo people #just like be upfront about it so I can block you and move on with my day. At the very least.#mine #for some reason I can’t turn off replies rn but this is a personal vent post so just. Don’t interact.#Don’t be a dick.

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mollyrealized · 2 months

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How Michael Met Neil

original direct link [MP3]

(Neil, if you see this, please feel free to grab the transcript and store on your site; I had no easy way of contacting you.)

DAVID TENNANT: Tell me about @neil-gaiman then, because he's in that category [previously: “such a profound effect on my life”] as well.

MICHAEL SHEEN: So this is what has brought us together.

DAVID: Yes.

MICHAEL: To the new love story for the 21st century.

DAVID: Exactly.

MICHAEL: So when I went to drama school, there was a guy called Gary Turner in my year. And within the first few weeks, we were doing something, having a drink or whatever. And he said to me, “Do you read comic books?”

And I said, “No.” I mean, this is … what … '88? '88, '89. So it was … now I know that it was a period of time that was a big change, transformation going through comic books. Rather than it being thought of as just superheroes and Batman and Superman, there was this whole new era of a generation of writers like Grant Morrison.

DAVID: The kids who'd grown up reading comic books were now making comic books

MICHAEL: Yeah, yeah, and starting to address different kinds of subjects through the comic book medium. So it wasn't about just superheroes, it was all kinds of stuff going on – really fascinating stuff. And I was totally unaware of this.

And so this guy Gary said to me, "Do you read them?" And I said, "No." And he went, "Right, okay, here's The Watchman [sic] by Alan Moore. Here's Swamp Thing. Here's Hellblazer. And here's Sandman.”

And Sandman was Neil Gaiman's big series that put his name on the map. And I read all those, and, just – I was blown away by all of them, but particularly the Sandman stories, because he was drawing on mythology, which was something I was really interested in, and fairy tales, folklore, and philosophy, and Shakespeare, and all kinds of stuff were being mixed up in this story. And I absolutely loved it.

So I became a big fan of Neil's, and started reading everything by him. And then fairly shortly after that, within six months to a year, Good Omens the book came out, which Neil wrote with Terry Pratchett. And so I got the book – because I was obviously a big fan of Neil's by this point – read it, loved it, then started reading Terry Pratchett’s stuff as well, because I didn't know his stuff before then – and then spent years and years and years just being a huge fan of both of them.

And then eventually when – I'd done films like the Underworld films and doing Twilight films. And I think it was one of the Twilight films, there was a lot of very snooty interviews that happened where people who considered themselves well above talking about things like Twilight were having to interview me … and, weirdly, coming at it from the attitude of 'clearly this is below you as well' … weirdly thinking I'm gonna go, 'Yeah, fucking Twilight.”

And I just used to go, "You know what? Some of the greatest writing of the last 50-100 years has happened in science fiction or fantasy." Philip K Dick is one of my favorite writers of all time. In fact, the production of Hamlet I did was mainly influenced by Philip K Dick. Ursula K. Le Guin and Asimov, and all these amazing people. And I talked about Neil as well. And so I went off on a bit of a rant in this interview.

Anyway, the interview came out about six months later, maybe. Knock on the door, open the door, delivery of a big box. That’s interesting. Open the box, there's a card at the top of the box. I open the card.

It says, From one fan to another, Neil Gaiman. And inside the box are first editions of Neil's stuff, and all kinds of interesting things by Neil. And he just sent this stuff.

DAVID: You'd never met him?

MICHAEL: Never met him. He'd read the interview, or someone had let him know about this interview where I'd sung his praises and stood up for him and the people who work within that sort of genre as being like …

And he just got in touch. We met up for the first time when he came to – I was in Los Angeles at the time, and he came to LA. And he said, "I'll take you for a meal."

I said, “All right.”

He said, "Do you want to go somewhere posh, or somewhere interesting?”

I said, "Let's go somewhere interesting."

He said, "Right, I'm going to take you to this restaurant called The Hump." And it's at Santa Monica Airport. And it's a sushi restaurant.

I was like, “Right, okay.” So I had a Mini at the time. And we get in my Mini and we drive off to Santa Monica Airport. And this restaurant was right on the tarmac, like, you could sit in the restaurant (there's nobody else there when we got there, we got there quite early) and you're watching the planes landing on Santa Monica Airport. It's extraordinary.

And the chef comes out and Neil says, "Just bring us whatever you want. Chef's choice."

So, I'd never really eaten sushi before. So we sit there; we had this incredible meal where they keep bringing these dishes out and they say, “This is [blah, blah, blah]. Just use a little bit of soy sauce or whatever.” You know, “This is eel. This is [blah].”

And then there was this one dish where they brought out and they didn't say what it was. It was like “mystery dish”, we had it ... delicious. Anyway, a few more people started coming into the restaurant as time went on.

And we're sort of getting near the end, and I said, "Neil, I can't eat anymore. I'm gonna have to stop now. This is great, but I can't eat–"

"Right, okay. We'll ask for the bill in a minute."

And then the door opens and some very official people come in. And it was the Feds. And the Feds came in, and we knew they were because they had jackets on that said they were part of the Federal Bureau of Whatever. And about six of them come in. Two of them go … one goes behind the counter, two go into the kitchen, one goes to the back. They've all got like guns on and stuff.

And me and Neil are like, "What on Earth is going on?"

And then eventually one guy goes, "Ladies and gentlemen, if you haven't ordered already, please leave. If you're still eating your meal, please finish up, pay your bill, leave."*

[* - delivered in a perfect American ‘serious law agent’ accent/impression]

And we were like, "Oh my God, are we poisoned? Is there some terrible thing that's happened?"

We'd finished, so we pay our bill. And then all the kitchen staff are brought out. And the head chef is there. The guy who's been bringing us this food. And he's in tears. And he says to Neil, "I'm so sorry." He apologizes to Neil. And we leave. We have no idea what happened.

DAVID: But you're assuming it's the mystery dish.

MICHAEL: Well, we're assuming that we can't be going to – we can't be – it can't be poisonous. You know what I mean? It can't be that there's terrible, terrible things.

So the next day was the Oscars, which is why Neil was in town. Because Coraline had been nominated for an Oscar. Best documentary that year was won by The Cove, which was by a team of people who had come across dolphins being killed, I think.

Turns out, what was happening at this restaurant was that they were having illegal endangered species flown in to the airport, and then being brought around the back of the restaurant into the kitchen.

We had eaten whale – endangered species whale. That was the mystery dish that they didn't say what it was.

And the team behind The Cove were behind this sting, and they took them down that night whilst we were there.

DAVID: That’s extraordinary.

MICHAEL: And we didn't find this out for months. So for months, me and Neil were like, "Have you worked anything out yet? Have you heard anything?"

"No, I haven't heard anything."

And then we heard that it was something to do with The Cove, and then we eventually found out that that restaurant, they were all arrested. The restaurant was shut down. And it was because of that. And we'd eaten whale that night.

DAVID: And that was your first meeting with Neil Gaiman.

MICHAEL: That was my first meeting. And also in the drive home that night from that restaurant, he said, and we were in my Mini, he said, "Have you found the secret compartment?"

I said, "What are you talking about?" It's such a Neil Gaiman thing to say.

DAVID: Isn't it?

MICHAEL: The secret compartment? Yeah. Each Mini has got a secret compartment. I said, "I had no idea." It's secret. And he pressed a little button and a thing opened up. And it was a secret compartment in my own car that Neil Gaiman showed me.

DAVID: Was there anything inside it?

MICHAEL: Yeah, there was a little man. And he jumped out and went, "Hello!" No, there was nothing in there. There was afterwards because I started putting...

DAVID: Sure. That's a very Neil Gaiman story. All of that is such a Neil Gaiman story.

MICHAEL: That's how it began. Yeah.

DAVID: And then he came to offer you the part in Good Omens.

MICHAEL: Yeah. Well, we became friends and we would whenever he was in town, we would meet up and yeah, and then eventually he started, he said, "You know, I'm working on an adaptation of Good Omens." And I can remember at one point Terry Gilliam was going to maybe make a film of it. And I remember being there with Neil and Terry when they were talking about it. And...

DAVID: Were you involved at that point?

MICHAEL: No, no, I wasn't involved. I just happened to have met up with Neil that day.

DAVID: Right.

MICHAEL: And then Terry Gilliam came along and they were chatting, that was the day they were talking about that or whatever.

And then eventually he sent me one of the scripts for an early draft of like the first episode of Good Omens. And he said – and we started talking about me being involved in it, doing it – he said, “Would you be interested?” I was like, "Yeah, of course." I went, "Oh my God." And he said, "Well, I'll send you the scripts when they come," and I would read them, and we'd talk about them a little bit. And so I was involved.

But it was always at that point with the idea, because he'd always said about playing Crowley in it. And so, as time went on, as I was reading the scripts, I was thinking, "I don't think I can play Crowley. I don't think I'm going to be able to do it." And I started to get a bit nervous because I thought, “I don't want to tell Neil that I don't think I can do this.” But I just felt like I don't think I can play Crowley.

DAVID: Of course you can [play Crowley?].

MICHAEL: Well, I just on a sort of, on a gut level, sometimes you have it on a gut level.

DAVID: Sure, sure.

MICHAEL: I can do this.

DAVID: Yeah.

MICHAEL: Or I can't do this. And I just thought, “You know what, this is not the part for me. The other part is better for me, I think. I think I can do that, I don't think I could do that.”

But I was scared to tell Neil because I thought, "Well, he wants me to play Crowley" – and then it turned out he had been feeling the same way as well. And he hadn't wanted to mention it to me, but he was like, "I think Michael should really play Aziraphale."

And neither of us would bring it up. And then eventually we did. And it was one of those things where you go, "Oh, thank God you said that. I feel exactly the same way." And then I think within a fairly short space of time, he said, “I think we've got … David Tennant … for Crowley.” And we both got very excited about that.

And then all these extraordinary people started to join in. And then, and then off we went.

DAVID: That's the other thing about Neil, he collects people, doesn't he? So he'll just go, “Oh, yeah, I've phoned up Frances McDormand, she's up for it.” Yeah. You're, what?

MICHAEL: “I emailed Jon Hamm.”

DAVID: Yeah.

MICHAEL: And yeah, and you realize how beloved he is and how beloved his work is. And I think we would both recognise that Good Omens is one of the most beloved of all of Neil's stuff.

DAVID: Yes.

MICHAEL: And had never been turned into anything.

DAVID: Yeah.

MICHAEL: And so the kind of responsibility of that, I mean, for me, for someone who has been a fan of him and a fan of the book for so long, I can empathize with all the fans out there who are like, “Oh, they better not fuck this up.”

DAVID: Yes.

MICHAEL: “And this had better be good.” And I have that part of me. But then, of course, the other part of me is like, “But I'm the one who might be fucking it up.”

DAVID: Yeah.

MICHAEL: So I feel that responsibility as well.

DAVID: But we have Neil on site.

MICHAEL: Yes. Well, Neil being the showrunner …

DAVID: Yeah. I think it takes the curse off.

MICHAEL: … I think it made a massive difference, didn't it? Yeah. You feel like you're in safe hands.

DAVID: Well, we think. Not that the world has seen it yet.

MICHAEL (grimly): No, I know.

DAVID: But it was a -- it's been a -- it's been a joy to work with you on it. I can't wait for the world to see it.

MICHAEL: Oh my God. Oh, well, I mean, it's the only, I've done a few things where there are two people, it's a bit of a double act, like Frost-Nixon and The Queen, I suppose, in some ways. But, and I've done it, Amadeus or whatever.

This is the only thing I've done where I really don't think of it as “my character” or “my performance as that character”. I think of it totally as us.

DAVID: Yeah.

MICHAEL: The two of us.

DAVID: Yes.

MICHAEL: Like they, what I do is defined by what you do.

DAVID: Yeah.

MICHAEL: And that was such a joy to have that experience. And it made it so much easier in a way as well, I found, because you don't feel like you're on your own in it. Like it's totally us together doing this and the two characters totally complement each other. And the experience of doing it was just a real joy.

DAVID: Yeah. Well, I hope the world is as excited to see it as we are to talk about it, frankly.

MICHAEL: You know, there's, having talked about T.S. Eliot earlier, there's another bit from The Wasteland where there's a line which goes, These fragments I have shored against my ruin.

And this is how I think about life now. There is so much in life, no matter what your circumstances, no matter what, where you've got, what you've done, how much money you got, all that. Life's hard. I mean, you can, it can take you down at any point.

You have to find this stuff. You have to like find things that will, these fragments that you hold to yourself, they become like a liferaft, and especially as time goes on, I think, as I've got older, I've realized it is a thin line between surviving this life and going under.

And the things that keep you afloat are these fragments, these things that are meaningful to you and what's meaningful to you will be not-meaningful to someone else, you know. But whatever it is that matters to you, it doesn't matter what it was you were into when you were a teenager, a kid, it doesn't matter what it is. Go and find them, and find some way to hold them close to you.

Make it, go and get it. Because those are the things that keep you afloat. They really are. Like doing that with him or whatever it is, these are the fragments that have shored against my ruin. Absolutely.

DAVID: That's lovely. Michael, thank you so much.

MICHAEL: Thank you.

DAVID: For talking today and for being here.

MICHAEL: Oh, it's a pleasure. Thank you.

#neil gaiman #michael sheen #david tennant does a podcast with...#good omens #aziraphale #crowley #sushi #whale #the cove #oscars 2010 #coraline #mini secret compartments #howneilmetmichael #howmichaelmetneil

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ao3commentoftheday · 6 months

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any advice about how to deal with posting a fic and getting radio silence? I know ppl aren’t owed engagement ofc, but I feel embarrassed at having spent so long on something no one cares about, and although I liked thinking about the characters and fandom before (and was considering writing more about them), now I can’t think about it without feeling that overpowering embarrassment 😭 part of me wants to delete the fic, but that would mean having to open ao3 and look at it again LMAO

sorry for the venting, I know this is probably a me problem, but has anyone else felt this, and if so, is there any way to make this pervasive shame go away??

*hugs* This is a very painful thing to experience and there isn't really any way to make it just go away, unfortunately. However, you can reflect on it a bit, when you're ready to.

Writing and posting are separate activities. If you've enjoyed writing the story but you haven't enjoyed posting it to the Archive, you can always continue writing just for yourself. This may or may not be something you'd enjoy - you know better than I do whether some of your enjoyment came from the anticipation of a reaction to your work.

Try to analyze where your embarrassment is coming from. Is it worrying that your story was poorly written? A lack of a reaction doesn't mean that the story is bad. Being unpopular doesn't mean it's bad, either. If your story is good to you, then it's a good story.

Is your embarrassment from feeling like you were "caught trying." Is it a cringe at the idea that you put effort into something that someone else doesn't (appear to) find valuable?

Is it actually embarrassment at all? Are you feeling a different kind of hurt instead? Did you hope that someone in particular would read your story and now you feel ignored? Did you hope to be embraced by your community and now you feel shunned?

These are difficult questions that I'm asking and you might not want to think about them right now. That's okay. You don't need to if you don't want to. You can definitely delete the fic and pretend it never happened. Or you can log out of that AO3 account and create a new one and never look back. Maybe you just need to take a week or a month off for a hiatus of sorts and when the ache isn't as bad, you'll be able to face it all again.

When I felt this way, it was because I felt like I'd put something into my community and that I'd been ignored. But since that time, I've found one person who gives me all of the community support I used to get from an entire fandom, and now when I post something on AO3 I don't actually need a response anymore. I get all of the fun and excitement and validation etc from my conversations and RP threads with my best friend.

Once you've got a little distance from the pain of this moment, try to figure out what it is that you were hoping to get and then figure out how you can get it. Maybe it's through posting fic to AO3, but maybe it's not.

Let's see what others can suggest. This is not something you're experiencing alone, anon. So very many of your fellow fan writers have experienced this too ❤️

#asks and answers

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theworld-accordingtocasey · 1 year

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Too much of a bnf to at least “like” the post you asked for feedback on, and got a whole ass essay about the chapter? ok then, imma snatch my shit right back

#Alexa play Taeil & Raider — Love Right Back #moon taeil #bnf #some bnf are humble. busy but humble. if they have to many messages to answer at once they’ll look at their reblog/say they will #fanfiction pet peeve #fanfic problems #go ahead #I’ll unlike and eitiher lock up the post so I can delete it #big name fan #like if you don’t ask & we offer commentary or reviews that’s one thing #(i guess)#But if u ASK for feedback & then don’t say so much as “thanks I’ll keep that in mind!” or “thx for letting me know” or even just “thank u”#idk man #it makes me a little… mad?#like dude #i spent more time than I’d like to admit to respond to specific parts or finding like…the exact right pic to express my feelings for u #I try hard to uplift the (non-problematic) writers to help compensate for the fact that so few ppl even rb at all let alone say how it made #me feel #I don’t write them for ME. I alr have a filing system/index for stories I’ve read abt who & by who that I store outside of tumblr. it’s for #both encouragement to the author and also to share w/ my moots a good thing I read which I guess is also to give encouragement to writers…?#even if it makes me shy to admit I read a thing I still try to put it out there…idk man i just. I’m not a fic reg blog or whatever I’m just #a person with a regular blog that reads fanfic a lot here & on ao3 trying to spread the love man #if only like 5-10% of the people actually even seem to show up in your mentions (not to brush off the ones who do cus u guys are true pals)#so I reckon if I were more popular maybe this user would respond to the questions I ask in the review or w/e haha 🙃#but w/e #your loss #>:(#even on my most depressed days or when I can’t write at least a few sentences I’ll rb it w/ a tag saying I enjoyed it…#gosh #too cool to talk to your readers >:(

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kestalsblog · 3 months

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Basic Tips to Improve Your Writing

I used to read a lot of unprofessional writing online, and through that endeavor, I started mentally compiling different qualities that turned me off to people's work right away. I'm sharing some of my thoughts about ways to improve your writing so others don't click off your work right away!

-Change paragraphs when different characters are speaking.

-In that same thread, remember to make new paragraphs and not have one giant block of text. This isn't only discouraging for some readers, but actually physically impossible to read for those who are visually impaired.

-Learn grammar. Sorry, but there is no way around this one. For example, commas aren't just for aesthetic appeal or your personal choice, and it will turn some readers away if your writing is littered with grammatical errors. You can't break the rules for creative purposes if you don't even know them, and the difference is generally apparent.

-Remember the narration style you've chosen. For example, if you're writing in third person limited, you can't think outside the mind of your main character. Don't jump suddenly to the thoughts of other characters or an all-knowing, omniscient voice.

-Slow down. Each word matters, so try not to think of writing as "I must get from Point A to Point B," but "I must get from Point A to Point B beautifully."

-Avoid repeating the same word or phrase too much, especially within the same paragraph. There are exceptions in dialogue, of course. (It's sweet when writers acquire their own personalized phrasings that mark their voice, but I have turned away from works where the exact same line just kept coming up again and again).

-Don't forget about setting. You might be able to imagine where your characters are, but no one else can if you don't let them know.

-Use a consistent verb tense.

-Your characters are not you and generally shouldn't always be mouthpieces for you to share your own values and thoughts.

-Your characters should sound distinctly different from each other, including their talking styles.

-Don't bog the reader down with too much description, and make sure the description you do have is realistic. Think about it. In the morning, do you wake up, go to the mirror, and think to yourself, "I looked at my shaggy dark hair and emerald green eyes"? Nobody thinks that way about their own appearance, and it feels like a forced way to let the reader know what the main character looks like.

-There's no need to start tossing out every character trait if it's not relevant to the story.

-Last, show some passion and excitement for your own work. Make sure the language embodies that passion because if you don't even care about your writing, who will?

#writeblr #writing community #writing #writers on tumblr #for writers #writing advice #kestal #text post

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aperrywilliams · 1 month

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From Now On (Spencer Reid x Pregnant!Reader)

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Author Masterlist

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Pairing: Spencer Reid x Pregnant!Reader.

Summary: After faking his death for seven months, Spencer is back just to find out you’re eight months pregnant. After the initial commotion and your denial, you both step into the apartment you used to share. Things have changed and you must talk about it.

Word Count: 3.3k

Warnings: Hurt/Comfort. Talking about gunshots, blood, hospitals, faking death, pregnancy symptoms, potential abortion. If I missed something, let me know.

A/N: I’m back! I don't know for how long, but I needed to do something to fight my writer's block. This story can be read independently, but it is the second part of Seven Months.

-----

The cab ride to your apartment is mainly silent. Your head is tucked into Spencer's shoulder as he rubs your back from time to time. His nose is buried in your hair, inhaling your scent. God, he had missed it so much. He had missed you so much.

And he missed so much of your life in the past seven months. And that scares the shit out of him.

How would he fit into your life now? Does he have any right after faking his death and not telling you anything?

Rossi and Morgan told him you would understand eventually. That you would forgive him for doing this to you.

And maybe you are really considering. Maybe that’s why you went for him to Derek’s in the middle of the night.

Spencer wants that more than anything, but he feels like he doesn't deserve your forgiveness.

Now you both are in front of your building complex. The one that used to be his too.

Spencer knows the concrete walls are the same, but they don't feel like they are.

It's a strange feeling. A feeling that gets stronger when you open the apartment door.

Stepping inside, he knows this is where he used to live, but it doesn't look the same.

The shelves are no longer full of his books. Gone is his globe and coins collection that usually laid over the desk. There are just a couple of pictures of him with you on the wall. The decoration is different. Did you paint the place? Spencer is almost sure of that because it looks brighter than he remembered.

He's silent, inspecting everything around him. The walls, the bookshelf, the furniture: all changed.

After you take off your coat and hang it on the rack, your eyes follow him.

You know what’s going on. You have known Spencer for so long. Even if you thought you lost him, you still can read him like a book.

“Hope isn’t look too bad. I needed to, you know, make some changes?” you explain, not sure how to put the last months in words. Spencer turns to look at you, guilt written over his face. He knows what your words imply and remorse eats him alive.

“I - I’m sorry,” he mumbles, sure it's not enough to erase the hell you have been through since he were gone. Since they told you he was dead.

“I know.” Your response is short but not because you don’t have things to say. It's because you don’t know how to start. “Uh. Would you like some tea?”

It's the safest path. The one you both usually have taken the times you had fought and then try to speak it off. It's different this time, though.

Spencer hesitates. In other circumstances, he would agree and sit on the couch to talk. But it's late, the day has been a rollercoaster and you are eight months pregnant. He knows you should be sleeping, or resting at the very least.

“Maybe it's better you go to bed? It's late and you must be tired,” he points, nervously fidgeting with his hands, his gaze shifts between your eyes and belly.

“Honestly? I don't think I could sleep tonight even if I try,” you confess, moving to the kitchen to put the kettle.

”I don't think I could sleep either,” he admits, following to the kitchen. He wants to help, but he doesn’t want to look like an intruder in your space. A space that it’s not his anymore. Noticing Spencer doesn't know what to do with himself, you invited him to take a seat on the barstool.

“It will be ready in no time, don’t worry.”

You are the one who endured months of grief from your fiancee, carrying his child, and you are the one comforting him. Spencer thinks it's not fair.

In silence, he looks with raptor fascination at the way you move around the kitchen. It's delicate and calm. You have a glow that captivates him. You don’t realize his gaze until you turn to put the mugs over the counter.

“What?” you question softly.

“You’re so beautiful,” he says, eyes entranced in you. You laugh, shaking your head.

“Come on, Spencer. I look like a mess. This belly reaches everything minutes before I can. It's huge! I can barely walk decently. Look at my hair! And my skin. It's sticky all the time.”

As you ramble about why isn’t accurate to call you beautiful, Spencer stands from the stool and rounds the kitchen counter to step in front of you. He wants to reach for your hands that you’re waving in the air to emphasize your point, but refrains. He’s still unsure about initiating physical contact. He rests his hands on the counter and clears his throat.

“I can certainly say it's not the way you are used to feeling. But the way I see you right now? I see beauty, power, and life. It's light what I see on you.”

You don’t know when tears started to roll down your cheeks. But hearing the adoration in Spencer’s words only spurs you to let out your emotions.

“You know my hormones have been doing a number on me, right? You’re not helping,” you complain, chuckling. After handing Spencer his tea, you take yours and walk to the living room.

You carefully sit on the couch and reach for the blanket in the back to cover your lower half. Spencer mimics your actions, sitting as well on the couch, but at a safe distance from you.

A silence envelops the room. Your hand plays with the strands at the end of the blanket, and your eyes scrutiny Spencer’s face. He looks tired, with prominent circles under his eyes, and stubble for days of no shaving.

He is analyzing you too. Even if your eyes denote exhaustion, he can see the strength that makes you look put together despite everything that has been going on.

He can see the protectiveness too. Rubbing your belly in soothing motions, shielding your non-born child from the unknown, the uncertain.

How much he would have given to be the one who could have protected you and the baby from the first minute.

“I guess you have questions,” you prompt. “But I have mine too, so if you don’t mind,” you trail off and Spencer understands what you want. He nods, preparing himself to answer whatever question you have. After a pause to collect your thoughts, you start to speak again.

“What really happened in that warehouse? Why you didn't let me go inside with you?”

You are talking about the day Spencer was shot and beaten for the unsub. The day he ended up at the hospital just to be declared dead hours after.

“I thought if we didn't split we could lose him. We were so close so many times. I thought it was our last chance. It never occurred to me it was a trap. That he wanted me there alone. I just didn't see it,” Spencer swallowed hard, remembering that day. You stayed in silence, waiting for him to continue.

“I heard his voice telling me he had you, and I panicked. So I ran to him. I let my guard down. When I realized he was lying it was too late.”

“But you launched at him. Why didn't you try to stall him first?” You asked, leaving your mug on the coffee table, feeling the suddenly urge to protect yourself with your arms around you. You never talked about what really happened with anyone. Not even to Hotch when he questioned you during the FBI investigation of the incident.

The way Spencer reacted with the unsub is something you never understood. The profile said the unsub was a guy who liked to show off, so trying to incite him to do that while waiting for backup would have been reasonable.

“The way he laughed. Maybe sounds stupid, but- I saw the resolve of an end game, and not like the typical bragging-end game, it was an evil-end game. He had the upper hand and he knew it. If I didn't do something first, he would have gone after you. And I couldn't let that happen. I didn't count on the hidden gun, though. Another mistake,” he breaths out.

You remember like it was yesterday rushing to the warehouse after hearing two gunshots. Once inside you saw Spencer lying on the floor, in a pool of blood.

“You were there and I didn't know what to do,” you recount your side of the story. “It was the worst nightmare. I screamed for help and it felt like an eternity before someone came to us. And your eyes-” You stop for a second, tears pricking the corner of your eyes. “You - you were saying goodbye and I wasn’t ready.”

Your resolve from earlier seems to crumble as you revisit what happened in that warehouse. Tears are now rolling down your cheeks, and you bite your bottom lip to stop their quivering.

Spencer wants to hold you, but he’s afraid of how you would react, so tentatively rests his hand on your knee. You are shaking and he’s worried this conversation could do more harm than good.

“We can stop. You are not feeling okay,” he points out. But despite Spencer's apprehensions, this conversation must happen now.

“I need to get this out of my chest. Please, let me do this. I know you need it too.”

Spencer knows you are right. You both need this.

“Do you remember anything after the shots?” you ask, and Spencer thinks for a moment.

“I remember being there, the sharp pain in the chest and my ribs. But most of it is a blur. I remember seeing you there. Crying. God. I hated seeing you cry. I think you held my hand?”

You nodded. “I was so scared, but with you there, I wasn’t anymore. The last thing I remember it’s the guilt of not saying I love you for the last time. I really thought it was the end for me,” he admits, his own tears blurring his sight.

“It was for me, though,” you mumbled, a sad look in your eyes. “I mean, I still had hopes when you were moved to the hospital, but deep down I knew I shouldn’t have had them. And everything shattered when JJ came to the waiting room and told us you didn't make it.”

A heavy sigh escapes from Spencer’s lips. Neither JJ nor Hotch had told him how they let it know the team he was ‘gone.’

“I can’t even imagine - It was unfair to you. And I know no matter what I say it won’t make it better.”

Your thoughts wander to the moment after you heard JJ saying Spencer was dead.

Disbelief. Pain. Denial.

And then, days of numbness.

“You know. I just shut off. I have some flashbacks. Rossi hugging me; Hotch telling me to take all the time I needed; Morgan crying with me.”

It feels weird to recall those memories as yours, like an alternative universe that turned different at the end.

“Where did you go?” Spencer asks. The thought of you in the apartment alone after that breaks his heart.

“Emily took me to her place because I couldn't put a foot here. I stayed with her for a couple of days. She helped me a lot to get through this,” you recognize. And for that, you will always be grateful to her.

You also tell Spencer about how the whole team helped you to make it through the days. Some kind of relief washes over him knowing you didn't face it alone.

He can’t fathom how difficult it was for you, also knowing you were pregnant. And about that...

“When did you find out?” He asks, eyes darting to your belly. You follow his gaze trajectory and a little smile creps on your face.

“Almost a month later. I was feeling sick all the time. Emily pushed me to get checked. They took blood tests and stuff. When they told me I couldn't believe it. For me, it was a twisted joke,” you admit, hanging your head low.

Spencer dreads asking the next question but you already know what is, so you keep talking.

“Yes. I had thought about it. I didn't feel in a good place to be a mom, Spencer. I barely could make it through the days. And having a baby? Fuck, just thinking about it was too much.”

You tell him about how you cried your eyes out. How lost you felt for days. The doubts about the future, but above everything, the protectiveness that aroused in you once the idea settled. Yeah, you couldn’t keep Spencer safe, but you were determined to save the part of him growing in you.

“And seven months later, here I am. About to give birth to our baby,” you conclude, lovingly rubbing your belly.

“It’s weird, you know?” Spencer begins. “The last time I saw you and now. It feels like I lost time. And I know I lost it. It’s just - I never expected to see things so changed. I don’t know how I fit here. What I’m saying doesn’t make any sense right now-” he trails off, darting his gaze to the fidgeting hands on his lap.

He’s been holding back. You notice. Since you both crossed the threshold he has been afraid of invading your personal space, of touching you. Now it makes sense.

“That's why you have been keeping your distance from me?” you ask. Spencer’s eyes quickly flash to you. Guilt is written on his face.

“What?”

Your gaze soften seeing him so stressed by being caught. It's true the past months have been tough for you, but they have been tough for him too. And to see a before and an after so different probably has him reeling.

“Since we put a foot in this apartment you have kept a safe distance. I’m not judging you, I really don’t. I just want to know what’s on your mind right now,” you explain, shifting on the couch to change your position. With an eight-month belly is difficult to be comfy in any position.

Spencer sighs. There are so many things revolving inside his brain that it’s not easy to put them in words.

“When I woke up in a hospital bed in Bethesda, the first thing I looked for was if you were there. But I was alone. A strange feeling squeezed my chest. For a moment I thought -” he pauses to take a breath. “I thought everything had gone wrong and the unsub had hurt you or the team, or both. I was about to freak out when a marshal came and explained to me what happened.”

Spencer recounts how the agent told him about his new destination and how this assignment was for an undetermined time.

“Since then, not a single day passed without the urge to take a plane and come back. To you. But what if I messed up putting you at risk doing so? It was insane to know I was dead for you and I couldn't do anything to fix it.”

“That's why you wrote the letters?” Spencer nodded. In a notepad, he wrote a letter to you every single day since he landed in Paris. He handed you the notepad at the BAU this afternoon before you stormed out, completely shaken and confused.

“I needed to put in words each day without you. I needed to tell you I was there, even if you never could read it.”

His shaky breath forces him to take some seconds to compose himself. You took that as your cue. Shifting again, you scoot a bit closer to him and reach tentatively for his hand, and he clings to it as if his life depended on it.

“And I’m here right now. And so do you,” you squeeze his hand reassuringly. “I’m as scared as you are, but we need to do something to get through this. If it is something you want to do,” you add. Spencer's glassy eyes find yours.

“It's all I want. Maybe it's hard for me to understand I can’t fix something like this, but I want a chance to make us work again. I know I can’t get back time, but if you let me I want to gain back the place I lost the day I gone.”

Spencer’s free hand flies to your cheek to wipe with his thumb the tears you haven’t noticed are falling.

“We can start with something,” you prompt, reaching for a folder resting at the coffee table. After opening it, you produce a bunch of ultrasound pictures and hand them to him. From the first appointment you had, to the last one from a week ago.

Spencer’s eyes sparkle with excitement, seeing every detail and the way the baby has grown in the past months.

Tears fall freely and there is pure emotion that fills his heart.

So many nights you both spent talking about what it would be like to have a baby. How wonderful it would be to see them grow. About what traits they would inherit from each of you.

You smile at the scene unfolding in front of your eyes. It feels so good to see in him the same excitement you have. You both wanted this. And until today you thought only you would get the chance to experience it.

After inspecting and committing to memory each detail from each pic, Spencer’s eyes find yours again.

“Do you know the baby’s-” he trails off. He’s unsure, maybe you didn't want to know or want him to know.

You have known the baby’s gender for a while now but have not told to anyone. From the same folder, you extract an envelope you offer to him. With trembling hands, Spencer takes it and gets the paper from inside. Scanning the words he realizes it is the information of your baby’s gender.

“It's - it's a girl,” he reads aloud with a cracking voice and more tears in his eyes. You nod, your own tears clouding your vision.

“Yes. Do you remember when we talked about having a baby and you told me you wanted a girl? When I found out the gender, I thought about how happy you would have been,” you sniffle, and Spencer reaches for you, now wrapping you in a loving embrace.

“Thank you. Thank you so much,” he repeats over and over, kissing your temple. You close your eyes, losing yourself in his chest, inhaling his scent.

You stay like this for a moment. Contently in each other arms. Spencer still can’t believe he got the chance to hold you again, and you are still assimilating the day’s events. It's unbelievable how everything changed in less than twenty-four hours.

“I love you,” he mumbles in your hair, a hand moving to rub your belly. “And I love you,” he says now, talking to your baby.

“We love you too, Spencer,” you respond, voice thick with emotion. “I never stopped, and we will never stop.”

Parting from your embrace, you get lost in each other's eyes. Communicating without words what this moment means to both of you. Cupping your face, Spencer leans to find your lips with his in a loving kiss. You kiss him back, pouring all your feelings.

It's a new promise of love.

After breaking the kiss, he presses his forehead to yours.

“Will we be okay?” he asks, almost in a whisper.

“From now on, we will be,” you assure him. It feels like you are telling this to yourself too. Maybe you do. Everything still looks messy right now, but life is giving you a second chance, and neither Spencer nor you is willing to let it go.

-----

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