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thecarnivorousmuffinmeta · 3 years

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Bella and Beauford (your version of Beau) are twins, similar features (brown eyes), similar chip on their shoulder, similar flowery language, and Ed can't read either of their minds and both smell like grade A beefcakes. Both move to Forks. What kind of mess do you think will go down? 030 Does Eddie boi get the harem he's never wanted? How much can we destroy the B&B team self esteem? Find out on today's episode of the What if Muffin chronicles~! - Sw

Beauford is a reoccurring guest star on this blog.

Think Bella directly plastered onto a boy: absurdly pretty, still clumsy, still terribly introverted and awful socially, and smells like heroin to one Edward Cullen.

With that, onto your question

The Rules

To set some ground rules that are set in the post, I'm presuming both, somehow, are Edward's singer. Now, given that it's Bella and Beauford (fraternal twins), I'd say this is highly unlikely. Singers are rare, and Charlie and Renee don't notably smell like high quality heroin to Edward. More likely, Bella would be the singer, and Beauford would just smell generally nice (but not murder all of Biology nice).

It's also unlikely they'd have the same exact gift, or a gift that expresses itself in the same manner, blocking Edward out of their minds.

But the rules are set, both are Edward's singer, and both have Bella's absurdly powerful gift.

They're for all intents and purposes the same fucking person that somehow got stuffed in two different gendered bodies. The real genesis of this AU: Renee was abducted by aliens while pregnant and her unborn child experimented on. Beauford is, in fact, Bella's identical twin. Beauford is actually Bella's male clone grown in the womb.

After Bella and Beauford reach sexual maturity they'll be beamed back up into space and put into a zoo on Traflamador. (Except not because that would derail this post... The test pilot on Traflamador blew up their planet before Bella and Beauford could phone home. It's not important.)

Bella, Beauford, and the Time Before Forks

Bella and Beauford are probably frightfully codependent for a few reasons that go by the name of Renee. Renee's still out to lunch parenting, and it falls to Bella and Beauford to take care of adult responsibilities from a very young age.

Bella and Beauford come home from school to an empty house, are the ones to go grocery shopping, pay the bills, pay the taxes, do the laundry, pretty much anything that has "adult responsibility" stamped on it.

As a result, they don't really have time to make friends with kids out of school, and they quickly realize that they're the only ones they can depend on in their lives. More, they're the only ones who get each other on any level.

They're both social outcasts, both not what their mother wanted, both have to deal with their mother, and if they ever get in trouble then it's their sibling that they're going to call. Because no one else will ever be there.

I imagine both Bella and Beauford cling to each other tightly with both hands.

Which, of course, makes things weird.

There's getting along with your twin sibling then there's... only getting along with your twin sibling.

Bella and Beauford have lunch together, by themselves, every day in Phoenix. They partner together on everything and are very displeased if they're forced into a group project with anyone else. They participate in all the same activities and if one isn't allowed to do it then the other quits (yes, Beauford tried to get into ballet class, when Renee put her foot down Bella quit right then and there). They wear each other's clothes, if they can't, then those clothes never get worn (Bella never wears the few dresses in her closet). They actually remember their made up secret twin language and lapse into it accidentally from time to time. They're anxious when they're not in the same classes and meet up after every single class to walk down the hallways together. Rather than have any friends, most of their free time is spent at home reading the same books in the same room. They don't even talk about how amazing Heathcliff is, because they know the other knows.

I imagine they channel such the twins from The Shining. Absurdly good looking, beautiful, kids but good god what is wrong with them?

The Decision to Move

When Phil enters the picture seriously, he's not just a new boyfriend, Bella and Beauford sit down to discuss their options. Neither is quite sure how they feel about Phil.

He's awfully young, but he seems to be good for Renee, and is actually capable of paying his taxes (unlike Renee). He can probably be depended upon not to run off and to make sure Renee is taken care of.

However what about Bella and Beau?

With Bella and Beau going to school, they can't travel across the country every few weeks following Phil. Now, in theory, Renee could abandon them to follow Phil. This wouldn't make much of a difference in their daily lives (might, in fact, make things easier in a way as then Beau/Bella can just handle all the cooking rather than Renee even attempting to). However, Renee would never want to admit she's been leaving her kids to their own devices for years, and would feel horribly guilty to leave them behind.

As it is, they've already told Renee she can go on and travel with Phil and she refused, stating she had to be there for her kids.

There's also that Phil keeps trying to bond with Beau especially. As if he thinks it will be easier to bond with the teenage stepson vs. the stepdaughter. That hasn't been going well, Beau would like to avoid that if at all possible.

On the other hand... Forks, wet, cold, and being the children of the police chief's runaway bride.

Ultimately, the pair come to the same decision Bella came to in canon. They want their mother to be happy, feel desperately like third wheels, and if making Renee happy necessitates going to Forks then to Forks they shall go.

At least they'll have each other, and in the end, that's all that really matters.

Arriving in Forks

Bella and Beau arrive in Forks and receive the same reception they would otherwise. But more so. Holy god, the high school population says, it's the Cullens 2.0.

Eerily pale, beautiful, siblings, who are both sensitive intellectuals (and are also weirdly incestuous acting). All the guys want to date Bella and all the girls want to date Beau (some vice versa but they're not admitting that in a public high school in 2005).

The guys (Mike, Tylor, Eric, etc.) aren't all that thrilled by Beau's presence, he's major competition and day one is attracting all the attention. However, they see him as a way to get an in with Bella, he can set them up on a date and put in a good word. If they become his best friend, they have an excuse to go to his house, where Bella will be.

The girls (even Lauren who was initially very pissed off about Bella's sudden popularity) are much the same. Bella's overrated, but good god, that beautiful brother of hers. If they become Bella's best friend, they can have sleep overs, and might be able to see Beau without a shirt on. No matter Bella's stuffy personality, that hot brother is worth it.

Lunch that first day, as a result, is even more awful than it was in canon. Bella and Beauford, while generally oblivious about themselves, are very observant when it becomes to the behavior of others regarding their sibling.

They have an emergency meeting in the truck after school and come to the same conclusion: Bella/Beau, this entire school of hicks wants in your pants. Dump them all.

Both Bella and Beauford end the day supremely annoyed but reconfirm their commitment to this Forks plan. Beau predicts than in six months they'll be losers again and they'll go back to having lunch by themselves.

But what about the Cullens?

Edward, The Cullens, and Biology

As in canon, both Beauford and Bella notice the entrance of the alien procession into the cafeteria and ask "what the fuck?"

Nobody's thrilled about answering, because no one wants to lose Bella/Beauford to the Cullens of all people (the girls sigh with relief as, at least for them, all the lady Cullens seem to be dating one of the other guys. Beau is safe. The possibility of Edward/Beau is one they dare not contemplate in those five seconds.)

Still, Jessica reluctantly gives the run down. These are the Cullens, they moved in two years ago, are absurdly wealthy, beautiful, and supposedly not actually related. They're all dating each other. No, seriously, they are. Except the hot ginger, Edward, but don't bother because he's an ass.

Both Bella and Beauford think Jessica doth protest too much about Edward and internally give the Cullens the same bisexual Bella ranking: Rosalie, Edward (after a bit of thought), and then the rest of them.

Edward, for his own part, notes that he can't seem to hear either's thoughts. Weird. He concludes that the pair are highly overrated and he can't believe the school's so agog over the pair of them. Stupid teenagers.

Then Biology happens.

The pair open the door and good god, Edward Cullen is a demon. Luckily for them, they have each other. There may be an open seat next to Edward Cullen but Bella and Beauford go "NOPE". You see, teacher, we always sit together. No, really, we ALWAYS sit together.

The teacher is weirded out but it's so weird he actually has nothing to say to that. There's only one immediately open seat anyway, and two new students, so they're clearly in trouble with seating arrangements anyway. So he says, "Um, sure, go sit with Angela I guess." Angela is now in an overcrowded table with both Bella and Beauford, her original partner gleefully goes to sit with hottie Edward (then is in dismay sitting with Edward because this guy looks terrifying today). The twins, throughout Biology, are staring down Edward Cullen.

Edward, of course, has smelled the scent of the gods and is going through his personal hell on earth. He devises his many schemes of how he's going to murder Biology before he can get to the pair of them (Angela, for the record, gets smashed into a wall for the honor of being in Edward's way). Then, he doesn't know which he'd start on, he can't tell which scent comes from which. He tells himself he'll toss a coin, heads the boy goes first, then tails the girl.

Still, thinking of Carlisle's sad, disapproving, face as Edward massacres a room filled with children allows Edward to hold on through Biology. He'll murder them after school. Then of course he's able to clear his head and flees to Alaska.

In the meantime, thanks to being hyperaware of their sibling, and now having someone to talk to and confirm their suspicions with: Edward Cullen is Ted Bundy. This guy is creepy, dangerous, and in that moment it looked as if he was going to kill one or both of them. Bella/Beauford would be alright, though disappointed, if they were murdered then left in a dumpster. But their sibling die and meet that same awful fate? Not ever allowed to happen.

Bella and Beau have the world's most tense drive home and tense night taking turns taking guard and sleeping in the same room. Every time one questions if they're, maybe, just maybe, a little paranoid about this, the other confirms that "NOPE, THAT DUDE WAS SCARY".

They can't tell Charlie, he wouldn't believe them and they have no evidence, but when Edward tries to climb through their window maybe one of them will get in a good hit with the baseball bat (they won't, they're both debilitatingly clumsy).

The next day, to their confusion and relief, Edward Cullen isn't at school. He's not there the day after that either, or the day after that...

Beau and Bella start to relax, if only a little bit.

Edward, Alaska, and the Prodigal Son Returns

Edward in Alaska calms down and goes through the same thought process he did in canon. He keeps picturing the twins' faces, his obsession beginning to blossom, and convinces himself that he can't let these unremarkable humans get in the way of his life and his family.

After a week of brooding, much to Carlisle's horror, Edward returns to Forks and goes straight back to school. Specifically, he wants to do damage control with the twins and see just how much they actually noticed.

This goes worse than in canon.

First, Edward has to approach their shared table with Angela like a loser. There, Bella and Beau clearly don't want to talk at him, at all, and both clearly vividly remember exactly what happened last Biology class.

Edward barely gets a word in before he has to go to his seat. When he notices Bella, Beau, and Angela get their lab done as quickly as him (thanks to Bella and Beau), he tries again.

Bella and Beau both ask to go to the bathroom. (Yes, teacher, at the same time. Don't question this.) They don't come back. Edward, after ten minutes, also goes to the bathroom. He finds the pair in their giant, red, truck in the parking lot, deep in conversation (trying to figure out what the fuck is up with Edward Cullen).

He approaches them again, being as charming as possible. This has the opposite effect. Directed towards only them, Beau/Bella would probably let this slide. Directed towards Beloved Sibling, their "DANGER, WILL ROBINSON" sirens are blaring in their head. Beau floors it, and the pair tear out of the parking lot as fast as the truck will take them, they're telling Charlie they're taking a sick day. What will they do next Biology class? FUCK IF THEY KNOW.

Edward, standing in the parking lot with his mouth open, feels very very embarrassed and ashamed. He is a man eating demon and these two are perfectly aware of it. The rest of the Cullens find him there not long after, they find this both sad and hilarious.

Bella and Beau Get Hit by a Van

Well, this would all be well and good. Edward tells himself that if the pair are so determined to avoid him then he'll just avoid them. Problem solved. More, the pair don't seem to be chatterboxes, there's no weird rumors spreading about Edward Cullen or his siblings. At least, no more than usual.

Instead, it seems that everyone's trying to ask the twins to the dance, and are very confused when the twins say that they're going with each other. Sibling policy. You see. (They don't see, nobody sees, this is weird.)

Then it happens. Bella nearly gets hit by a van, Edward saves her, with Beau as a full not-concussed witness. FUCK. Bella and Beau travel to the hospital, Edward driving along behind them, and then after Carlisle checks Bella out they have their awkward talk.

Bella wants to insist that Edward was clearly the one who saved her, with his strange superhuman strength, but thanks to twin telepathy (which either is actual telepathy or is just reading twin body language, who even knows) knows that Beau wants her to shut up. They say nothing, the truth isn't important.

Instead, Beau states that he was the one who pulled Bella out of the way, Bella's just confused. Edward stares at Beau like he's an alien. Beau just smiles, thanks Edward for his concern, then throws Edward out of the room.

Bella and Beau madly discuss that Edward's clearly not human. More, while he saved her life today and that was very noble of him, neither has truly forgotten how he was in that first day of Biology. More, did you see him now? He clearly wanted, desperately for Bella to not remember what happened. He crushed that van like a pretzel, what if they told him that they saw him? What would happen to them? Beau doesn't want to take chances, not even for the truth, and in retrospect Bella doesn't either. Now is not the time to look gifted horses in the mouth.

Given Bella's injured, Beau's on full guard duty that night.

Meanwhile, the Cullens have their vote. It's even more dramatic, because instead of just one innocent, injured, witness, there's two witnesses and one was completely uninjured. Carlisle is utterly appalled that Rosalie genuinely suggests murdering them both so she doesn't have to move. He's more appalled when Edward reveals that he believes the twins may believe that Edward... wishes them harm for having witnessed his heroics.

Because the irony being that the twins are right, the family is voting on this very issue right now. And what does that say about all of them?

Thankfully for Beau and Bella, the vote goes very similarly to canon. Jasper's not convinced until Alice has her vision.

And she drops the bomb. Edward's in love with Bella, Beau will be Edward's best friend and Bella Alice's, and both Bella and her brother will be turned and join the coven.

(Now, what Alice doesn't tell Edward is that, actually, Edward's in love with them both. It's safer to say that Edward's in love with the woman, as that's what Edward will far more readily accept. Throwing Beau into that mix would just make things very messy, if Alice wants her best friend and Edward's happy ending then she has to be smart about this.)

The family has a similar reaction. Carlisle gives his, "Well, alright then" and the family doesn't move. Edward, in despair and self-hatred, heads to the Swan house to see sleeping Bella for himself.

And lo and behold, Beau has been waiting for him. Beau tries to smash Edward's face in with a bat. Unfortunately, a) Edward's a vampire, b) Beau misses.

Beau and Edward end up talking, man to man, while Bella is sleeping. Edward decides that, yes, oh woe, he is in love with Beauford's sister and confesses as much (while also confessing that he might, you know, actually be dangerous). Beau suggests that Edward stay far away from his sister.

No, there's nothing Beau can do to stop Edward. Yes, he is just a pathetic human even more pathetic than most, but he promises that he will make Edward and his family's life hell on Earth if Edward ever thinks of assaulting his sister.

Edward protests he would never, Beau points out that Edward just climbed through his injured sister's window in the dead of night. Edward... tries and fails to explain away that one.

He actually does succeed in that he explains that Bella was in danger from... his siblings. Edward had come to protect Bella, to make sure none came to harm her. It's not necessarily his siblings' fault, it's complicated but... Well, Edward was trying to be somewhat noble.

Then something strange happens. Edward finds himself fascinated by this Beauford Swan. Such courage in the world's weakest, no most delicate, body. Look at those eyelashes, his big dark eyes, his perfectly shaped features. This boy is beautiful, as beautiful as his sister, and just as courageous as she is. And look at him now, nobly facing down a demon he knows he cannot win against for the sake of his sister.

How virtuous.

Edward tells himself that what he's feeling is kinship and admiration for Beauford Swan. Bella could not have a worthier brother. Edward leaves with the promise that he'll respect Beau's wishes (Beau doesn't believe that for a second).

The next morning, Beau tells Bella that Edward's the world's biggest creep and that the Twin Watch is not stopping anytime soon. They're going to need to make a big purchase of coffee.

Edward and His Torment

As in canon, Edward decides he should nobly stay out of Bella's life. He'll see if either twin really does talk (they don't) and then he'll ignore them until they disappear. They will forget him.

They don't, but they do discuss him. See, after much pondering, the twins realize that Edward truly is a Grade A hottie. More, he's so mysterious and inhuman. In retrospect, his saving Bella's life goes a long way, and for all that he's been... menacing, he's never truly threatened them and does seem intent on protecting Bella. More, he seems to be keeping his promise: he's staying out of Bella's life and he hasn't been back to the house since (he has, but they haven't caught him, Edward waits until they both crash until he can sneak in and stare at them both).

And he's never lied about being dangerous. Their glares soften into pondering glances, wondering just what the truth of this Edward Cullen and his family really is, and wonder what it'd be like to let him into their small, insular, world that no one before has ever managed to breach in the way he has.

Bella doesn't believe he's truly interested in her, despite Beau's insistence, and wonders if he's interested in Beau. Beau, for his own part, doesn't believe Edward's interested in him and insists that he's clearly very interested in Bella.

Reluctantly, the pair conclude that Edward is something likely very dangerous, against Edward's will, but benign. Whatever it was they sensed from Edward that first day, it was not something in his control.

Helping this is Edward enabling the mysterious mystery by breaking. He can't stay away from the twins. He tells them that he's tired of staying away from them, that they shouldn't be friends, that he doesn't want to be friends (but wants to be something hint, hint, wink, wink). Except he's convinced he and Beauford are friends, dual protectors of the angel Bella Swan. If he stares a little too much at Beau's perfect figure then that's because he's the perfect, male, version of his perfect sister.

Anyway, the twins go to Long Beach with the others and the twins are now just too curious. Edward's giving them nothing and they must know. Bella flirts with Jake for information, Beau is appalled that this works, and they hear the cold ones story. That night, they both have the prophetic Slayer dream: Edward is a vampire.

Bella tells Beauford that she knows three things. One is that she's in love with Edward. Beau's not sure how to take that for a second but, being Bella's twin and on the same weird wavelength, he gets it. He's in love with Edward too.

Neither finds it strange that they both confess to being in love with the same demon and that they see no conflict of interest in this.

The pair go to Port Angeles to help Jessica and Angela pick up dresses. (Angela and Jessica aren't sure why a man is coming, but they've learned not to question this twin thing). Bella and Beau ultimately decided not to go to the dance, too risky giving the deluge of invitations they received, and instead they'll be headed to Seattle that weekend. They claim this is not a date, Angela and Jessica just stare.

Due to Beau being with Bella, though the pair get hopelessly lost looking for the book store, Bella doesn't get followed by rapists. Edward shows up anyway, as Alice saw the possibility, and takes the pair of them to romantic Italian dinner. It's weird.

He then drives them home and Bella blurts it out. Edward's a vampire, she and Beau know. Edward has his miniature meltdown and realizes that these pair of siblings forgive him this. Beau, beautiful man that he is, is giving Edward his beloved sister and Bella is giving not only herself but her wonderful brother's hand in friendship.

Edward invites them both, that's right, them both, to the meadow. Neither thinks this is strange. And when they get there. Boom, it's over, any chance to question this is gone. Both Bella and Beau are seduced by Edward's sparkling chest and his quotes about lions.

He rests his head on Bella's chest but puts his right hand on Beau's. They sit like that. For hours.

The Cullens (Again)

Well, this went from weird to fucking weirder. It was weird enough when Edward became obsessed with this rando teenage girl. Now, it turns out that Edward's a horn dog panting after bisexual twins, clearly intending to romance them both at the same time.

Carlisle dearly tries to have an intervention. He sends Esme to do it, as in canon, this doesn't work (Esme is perfectly fine with Edward's twincest fetish and thinks it's wonderful).

Alice tells a dubious Jasper that Edward and Beau are just friends. Jasper doesn't believe her, but he's not sure what to even say.

Emmett is desperately holding in Edward sandwich jokes. Desperately.

When Beau and Bella are invited to the house (together of course), the entire family has no idea what to say to them. At all. They don't know how to process this. Rosalie is actually there this time, because somebody needs to warn these two about what Edward really wants, but then they're too weird.

It's all just too weird.

And... the rest of canon happens.

The baseball game occurs, James dies, Victoria's not sure which Swan she should target and so she targets them both anyway. They're in the same damn place so it makes 0 difference.

Bella and Beau joint hallucinate Hallucination Edward, somehow, and get even weirdly more codependent in their zombie fugue state. This tanks their popularity as now there's no denying the incest. Bella and Beau don't care.

Bella and Beau reach out to get Jake to build them the motorcycles. Jake doesn't necessarily want Beau around, the dude's weird and getting in the way of Bella time, but alright. Bella and Jake's friendship doesn't take off because Bella's codependent on Beau.

They do learn about the wolves though thanks to Jake's crush on Bella. Jake never realizes that he's coming in third place not only to Edward Cullen but to Beauford Swan. He thinks he has a chance. That poor boy.

Bella and Beau jump off the cliff together, convinced they weren't committing suicide.

Alice returns, gets Bella and Beau to go to Volterra, because Edward has to see that they're both alive. There's a joyful reunion, Aro is really weirded out by this whole damn thing and has a five second pause after touching Marcus' hand. "Well." he says afterwards, "You and your brother are close. I see."

They get to go home, Aro insists they turn. Eclipse happens. Edward proposes marriage to Bella. Neither Beau nor Bella are thrilled (mostly about the marriage and also about the question of how the twin enters this equation) but ultimately Bella accepts. Bella and Edward marry publicly.

Beau is invited for the honeymoon. Edward, Bella, nor Beau question this. Everyone else does. A lot. On Isle Esme, the three confirm their commitment to each other: they have a secret marriage. Edward and Beau are both convinced they're not in a relationship. Bella and Beau are convinced they're not incestuous.

Sex is had by... someone. Unclear who.

Bella gets pregnant, this seems to confirm Edward must be the father but... Bella and Beau are both very strange, almost alien, and very gifted. There is some red in their hair. Questions the Cullens dare not speak aloud are thought, Edward doesn't seem to notice.

TL;DR Basically, the books still happen but Edward is cuckolded and enables twincest.

...

I did not see this one coming guys. I swear. I did not.

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servicetopkaradanvers · 3 years

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I'm not sure if this is exactly the right place to say this, but I don't know if there is. And you're a smart person and critical thinker who has talked about this before. If this is totally weird, you can just delete it ofc. I've never properly watched Supergirl but I started reading fanfic around the time my mental health got real bad so it was a comfort thing I didn't bring too much thought to. I really identify with Lena and in the past, part of me has understood her actions-

and I know that they're wrong. The anti-alien rhetoric is obviously an allegory for racism or homophobia. She's violated people's basic human rights. And I'm scared that I'm a bad person because sometimes, I kind of get it. Which is insane because i'm a lesbian enby of color, i mean i get targeted by most of the -ist/ism actions. And I'm also too tired to think about things critically all the time. Supercorp was my comfort fic, content thing-

I knew it was problematic (the whole James thing makes me sick to my stomach, scared and sad) but I didn't know that Lena as a character was written that way. The metaphors never really clicked in my head because I never thought about it, but now I feel absolutely horrible about myself because I like and identify with Lena. I'm not really sure how to move on from here- I'm just tired. I wish there could be just one thing, one piece of media that wasn't prejudiced (granted sg is not the place to go if you want decent rep and the like) and all of those things I said earlier. Its just me somehow trying to justify how I felt and empathized with something I shouldn't have. So yeah, sorry that was really long. I hope you have a lovely day- sorry for the spam

FIRST of all, you’re fine, babe! Both in sending me this and in enjoying The Bad Media. That’s my thesis here: You’re fine. With this in mind, let’s unpack this big ol suitcase:

We’re living in a fandom moment where more than ever before, we’re thinking about the ideas we consume in fiction and how they may or may not affect us. This is a net positive! Fiction is not reality, but it undeniably impacts it, so for this and many other reasons, we should always think critically about what resonates with us and why. Does this mean dissecting every facet of something to find all the ways it might fall in line with oppressive power structures? Absolutely not.

You, as an individual, do not owe anyone an explanation for why you enjoy anything. Period. How you relate to a given character or why you like them is nobody's business but your own.

Supergirl, as a piece of media, is singularly awful in its lackluster lipservice to progressivism while simultaneously refusing to deliver any progressive themes. Socially and politically, it is a useless liberal wet dream. Kara is an immigrant from a dead culture working as the muscle for a secret FBI offshoot with zero accountability for all of the other aliens in diaspora she has rounded up and dumped into a cell without trial. Alex is allegedly a lesbian, but the key points of her endgame relationship are constantly deemed not important enough to get screen time, which is made even more absurd when examined from the angle that this series is marketed directly toward LGBT people. An embarrassing percentage of villains on this show are women of color, which is particularly loud when there are only 2 women in the main cast who aren't white. And "main" is extremely generous, given that Kelly is just there to Give Advice Good and everything M'gann says and does is as dry as toast.

My point here is that the whole show is rotted to its roots, and whatever quietly libertarian or even fascism-enabling bullshit they push onto Lena in a given week is par for the crusty, shitty course. Kara deciding that she's ok with the alien detection device because "there are bad aliens" is a lovely (read: awful) microcosm of why this show sucks so fucking hard. "People are entitled to their opinions" is for debates on whether pineapple goes on pizza, not for whether we should casually out, endanger, and disenfranchise our [insert minority metaphor here] because some of them are mean.

But what I would love for this fandom to wrap its head around, and what I hope you understand, anon, is that just because it happens on the show, doesn't mean we have to give a rat's ass about it. What the hell is The Canon, anyway? Especially in the case for Supergirl, which can't even get its own continuity right. Especially for an IP that has been rebooted dozens of times before and will be rebooted again in the future. We can just decide that Lena realized the horrible injustices she enabled through her position of power. We can even decide that they just didn't happen at all! This is all fake. It's not set in stone. Who came up with it, anyway? A network with a list of buzzwords they want included and a couple of D-tier showrunners cranking down caffeine to meet an absurdly tight deadline. It's not special. I can guarantee that you care about it infinitely more than they do, and you haven't even watched the damn show.

On a more personal level, people who are hurt, depressed, or traumatized have always and will always look for themselves in fiction. Myself included! And despite what lofty platitudes there may be on the matter, suffering does not make us kind. It does not make us better. Sometimes it's just suffering. Often it pulls us further from who we are meant to be. Often it just makes us "worse."

Trauma has made Lena emotionally brittle. A lifetime of manipulation and abuse has taught her to compartmentalize herself and lock her feelings behind a maze of doors. When she does let love in, she accepts it so wild and vulnerable that she can't see the red flags behind the rosy lenses. She latches so hard onto people she deems virtuous that she holds them to a standard none could fulfill. Her pain has to go somewhere, so it oozes out of her, into Non Nocere, into the post-reveal rift. She's a powder keg, and Kara spent 4 years shoveling more gunpowder onto the pile while holding the match between her teeth.

And despite these fatal flaws that make perfect sense through the eyes of Lena's trauma, she is so full of love. Like Kara, her suffering did not make her kind. She is kind in spite of her suffering. These are the characters we are drawn to when we're hurting. Lena’s trauma is an inextricable part of her, but it is not all of her, and neither are her mistakes.

There truly is not and never will be a piece of media that is absolutely innocent of the harmful structures thrust upon us by society, because we ourselves also participate in that society whether we are critical of it or not, whether we strive to change it or not. I'm flawed. You're flawed. Bettering ourselves is not a journey toward an ultimate destination of perfection. It is a garden we nurture in an endless labor of love because the joy that comes from seeing it flourish and change vastly outweighs the work we put into it and the weeds popping up around its unkempt edges. This is a lesson Lena herself could probably stand to internalize. Probably with lots and lots of therapy. Lots. And lots.

So, to circle back to the start of this? You're fine. You recognized the logic in a traumatized character's mistakes because our own gravest errors more often than not stem from the ways we have been harmed in the past. It's what makes Lena (or, at the very least, the many adaptations of Lena that exist in this fandom) a good character. She is, to her core, characterized proof that a crumbling foundation and poisonous soil do not define us. Which is why watching her heal and grow and learn a healthier kind of love is so, so wonderful.

In closing, I think it's worth mentioning that being critical of media does not mean that we stop enjoying the parts of it we like. There is a lot of gold to be pulled from the steaming pile of shit that is CW Supergirl, and that's why we're all here in the first place. So I really hope you can continue to enjoy it in whatever way makes you smile <3

#Anonymous #lena

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l0vegl0wsinthedark · 4 years

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Sparkle

Here's a little ficlet I wrote based on a random scene that popped into my head and wouldn't leave. Unbeta’ed.

Tags: implied/attempted noncon, alcohol consumption, eighth year fic. Pairing: Draco/Harry

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Draco Malfoy came back to Hogwarts after the War.

He was quiet and was nearly always seen in the company of his books. He talked to people, but not unless they addressed him first. He was always in plain sight, and always seemed to be in the middle of the most banal, tedious tasks, and Harry had no reason to be suspicious.

But Harry watched him anyway.

How was he to help it? Malfoy didn't look anything like the Malfoy he was used to warching.

Yes, he was still deathly pale and tall and reed-thin - but he held himself differently now. He didn't swagger around like he owned the school, but still had an air of aristocratic grace about him that made people hurry out of his way.

He didn't wear his hair combed to slick perfection; he had it buzzed down to the scalp on one side, the rest of his sleek, platinum hair pulled over to the other side in an artfully tousled sweep that sometimes fell over his eyes and caught on his long lashes.

He didn't wear his shirt sleeves down to his wrists to hide the Mark. Instead he had them rolled up to his elbows to reveal the pretty little pink and orange blossoms he had tattooed over the ugly, faded skull and snake.

He always had nail paint on - black, green, ruby red, purple.

He wore eyeliner, stark black against the paper-white skin of his translucent eyelids and blond eyelashes.

During the weekends, he wore soft jumpers over crisp white shirts, often in pastel shades that made him appear delicate and almost ethereal.

Draco Malfoy came back to Hogwarts after the War and Harry was obsessed all over again.

It was Christmas in a week. The eighth year common room was in full tumult, the Wireless charmed to blare music loud enough to be heard clearly over the cacophony of dozens of chattering students. Decorated extravagantly by the elves, two tables groaning under food and drink (spiked with an indecent amount of alcohol), and housing every eighth year, over half of the seventh years and a few bold sixth years, the room threatened to burst at the seams.

Harry was pleasantly tipsy, which was very mild compared to the state of some of his classmates. At least he wasn't trying to climb up into the mantel to attempt to jump off of it and land on an overstuffed armchair that was twelve feet away.

He really had to pee, though, and both the toilets attached to the common room were occupied, and when he went up to the dorm bathrooms, he found those occupied too - as well as issuing sounds made by the students inside engaged in various kinds of 'activities'.

Bladder uncomfortably full, Harry jogged back down to the common room and, with a wave at Ron and Hermione, exited the party so he could use one of the school loos. His mind was buzzing very softly and he wasn't worried about homework or, you know, dying, for the first time in a while.

Sighing in relief after having taken a long piss, Harry strolled slowly back towards the common room. It was well past midnight and he knew the seventh and sixth years would be in trouble if caught at the party. He also knew that every teacher was likely aware and chose to let it go. It'd been that way this term after the War.

He was about to pause and take a moment to admire the snow covered grounds and Forest out the nearest window when he heard a sound from the classroom in front of him. There was a soft thud and a garbled human voice.

Frowning, he crossed the corridor and halted outside the classroom, hesitant to walk in on students who likely didn't want to be disturbed. But then he heard, clearly:

"Stop. No."

"Incarcerous."

"No, no, no, I don't want--"

But Harry had already drawn his wand and kicked open the door.

He vaguely recognised the seventh year, tall and slightly plump with a mop of sandy blond hair. He was struggling to contain the thrashing student he had bent over a desk and looked around with a jump, panting softly, when Harry burst in.

"What the f--?" the seventh year began.

"Get out," barked Harry, indicating to the door pointedly with his wand.

The seventh year stepped away and the student he'd been pinning fell to the floor with a thump, his wrists bound at the small of his back, his ankles tied together with the same gleaming, silvery rope. And then Harry started in shock, because-

"Please," panted Malfoy, writhing on the floor as he tried to free himself.

"Go," Harry said in a low, dangerous voice to the seventh year, and there must have been something in his voice or face because the student quite literally pelted out of the room. Harry heard him running all the way down the corridor.

Harry walked forward slowly. "Malfoy?"

Malfoy thrashed again, out of breath and emitting little sounds of desperation. "Pl-- Just let me go!"

Harry quickly bent down and undid the ropes with a wave of his wand. Then he helped Malfoy sit up and lean back against the desk, still panting.

His face was clammy and his eyes bloodshot, eyeliner smudged, his face abnormally pale, likely with fear.

He was also clearly very, very drunk.

Harry suddenly remembered seeing him at the party earlier, flitting back and forth to and from the table of refreshments. And then he'd disappeared altogether.

Apparently, not with his consent.

"You okay?" Harry asked, hesitantly placing a hand on Malfoy's shoulder.

"I don't want to!" Malfoy declared, jerking off his hand.

Harry immediately held both hands up and away. "Okay, absolutely, yes," he babbled. "I'm not gonna-- nobody's gonna..." He didn't know what to say so he left it unsaid.

Malfoy just sat there, still panting quietly, eyes unfocused and rolling around a bit.

"Do... Do you need to be sick? Do you...need to use the bathroom?" Harry asked after long stretch of silence. Malfoy shook his head, hair flopping into his face. There was some colour in his cheeks now, and when he reached up to messily tuck his hair behind his ear, Harry noticed he was wearing sparkly blue nail polish.

"Bed," Malfoy said suddenly, voice hoarse. Harry nodded and stood up. Malfoy looked up at him in bewilderment. "I don't want to," he repeated, slightly plaintively.

The way he looked in that moment, as though pleading for his life, helpless and incapacitated, Harry's chest tightened.

"Nobody is going to touch you," he promised in a low, steady voice. "I'm just going to see you up to your dorm room. Do you need help standing up or are you good?"

Malfoy looked up at him blankly and then looked away with a sigh, uncrossing his legs and making to stand up. "I need help," he mumbled after a beat.

Harry helped him up and then immediately stepped away. "Come on," he said softly, indicating to the door. "This way."

Despite having gone to bed only well after 3am after the party, Harry was up by 8. He found Ron awake with Hermione and the three of them went on a walk after breakfast. In the afternoon, Seamus invited them to a snowball fight with the others. After he'd changed out of his sopping clothes later, Harry found himself entrusted with the task of going down to the kitchens to bring up snacks for everybody.

One flight of stairs away from the Entrance Hall, Harry was stopped by a soft voice addressing him.

"Potter."

Harry turned. Sat on the nearest windowsill was Draco Malfoy.

Harry, for some reason, felt his face heat, and absurdly found himself worrying that Malfoy knew that Harry had spent all day thinking of him.

"Hey," Harry replied, nodding. "Alright?"

Malfoy nodded back, expression neutral. Suddenly, Harry wondered if Malfoy even remembered the events of the previous night.

"Where are you going?" Malfoy asked softly, and there was nothing threatening or malicious about the way he spoke.

"Down to the kitchen to nick food," Harry replied honestly, shoving his hands in his pockets. And then, after a moment of hesitation, "How are you...you know, how're you feeling?"

"I feel fine," said Malfoy, a small line appearing between his brows. "Any reason I wouldn't?"

Yeah, he doesn't remember, Harry decided. Then he wondered why he's talking to Harry at all.

"No," Harry said, mouth curving into a crooked smile. "Well, I guess I'd better-" He indicated to the stairs with his head.

Malfoy nodded and said nothing.

Harry was halfway down the stairs when, "Potter."

Harry turned. Malfoy stood at the top of the stairs.

"Yeah?"

"I-- I just--" Malfoy was very pink in the face. Harry thought him very pretty at that moment. "I'm really grateful for your help last night," Malfoy blurted.

Now Harry went pink. Oh, so you remember, he wants to shout hysterically.

"It was no problem, Malfoy," he said instead. "I'm glad I was there to help." Malfoy just looked blankly at him. "Hermione's always going on about consent," Harry blabbers suddenly. "And you know... You weren't... You didn't...consent."

Malfoy nodded, throat bobbing as he swallowed, his hands fidgeting with the hem of his baby blue jumper. "Well, thank you," he said after a few seconds of silently nodding.

"You're welcome."

They stared at one another. Harry was aware of the seconds stretching on and on but he couldn't look away from Malfoy's artfully styled hair and rosy cheeks and sparkly nails and carefully lined eyes.

Then with an awkward and atrociously stupid wave, Harry turned away.

"D'you want to go to Hogsmeade with me later?"

Harry turned, almost slipping off the step and tumbling down the stairs.

"What?" he spluttered at Malfoy who was now scarlet in the face.

"I... I asked if you--" Then Malfoy abruptly seemed to deflate. "Never mind, Potter. Sorry. And thanks again for last night."

Malfoy disappeared around the banister and Harry heard him climbing the stairs while he himself just stood there.

Then, as though jerked into motion by an electric shock, Harry flew back up the stairs.

"Malfoy!" he gasped as he rounded the banister. Malfoy turned, looking surprised. "I-- I'd love to," Harry said, sounding a bit winded.

"What?" Malfoy asked, tilting his head, glossy hair sliding over his eyes.

"Go to Hogsmeade with you," Harry explained. "I'll-- I'd love to go."

Malfoy went brick red but he smiled as he did so, a small, shy smile that made Harry's heart skip a beat.

"Okay," Malfoy nodded, "Six? I'll meet you in the common room," he added, pointing up the stairs with one finger.

Harry grinned. "Cool."

Malfoy grinned back. And then, just as Harry was about to go back down, "Hey, Potter?"

Harry looked back up. "Yeah?"

Malfoy, still scarlet in the face, seemed to be making a physical effort to gather courage. "You... You have my consent."

Speechless and almost faint, Harry just watched him hurry away. Consent for what, he wanted to bellow after him.

Then he decided he'd rather let Malfoy show him what later.

***

#tw noncon #harry being a saviour as always #soft draco #drarry #my writing

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gojology · 3 years

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The Start of Winter Break. (18+)

𝑨𝒖𝒕𝒉𝒐𝒓'𝒔 𝑵𝒐𝒕𝒆 | I FEEL RLLY SAD CUZ I WANTED TO DO THE SUKUNA BUT I DONT KNOW THE STORY ON ALADDIN SO I OPTED FOR 2 INSTEAD IM SORRY ANON. anyways i wanted to feed u guys rlly well and actually took the time to write and edit. I’M REFORMED also writing on google docs is so hard?? (reposting cuz i think im shadowbanned)

𝑷𝒂𝒊𝒓𝒊𝒏𝒈 | Gojo Satoru x Female Reader

𝑾𝒐𝒓𝒅 𝑪𝒐𝒖𝒏𝒕 | 3798

𝑾𝒂𝒓𝒏𝒊𝒏𝒈𝒔 | Food Play, Nipple Play, Oral (Fem Receiving), Degrading Nicknames (I didn’t really proof read that hard but I know there’s like, a mention of one nickname along the lines of that.)

𝑺𝒖𝒎𝒎𝒂𝒓𝒚 | It’s the first day of Winter Break, and you want to surprise Gojo with a cup of hot cocoa, instead, Gojo surprises you. Blinking your eyes furiously, you adjusted to the dark room. Immediately, you breathe a sigh of relief. You didn’t have to wake up at such an early hour, and for once you woke up refreshed. It was finally the first day of Winter Break, you had overworked yourself, making sure that you were to spend the end of the year work-free and available for as many Christmas parties you wanted to attend. Yawning, stretching as you did so, you look over your shoulder. There’s a slight smile dawning on Gojo’s lips. His long eyelashes fluttered when he slept. He slightly snored, grabbing at where you once slept in his arms. The room was unusually cold. You had always awoke to sunlight streaming from the window, realizing that could only mean that another day of work was ahead of you. But now, the room was dim, and freezing might you add. You couldn’t wait to snuggle with Gojo, this was perfect cuddle weather. Tearing your eyes away from Gojo’s pretty face, you instead looked at the door. Years of photos with Gojo absolutely slathered the poor thing, past memories all flickering before your eyes. Pictures in Disneyland, bright colors in contrast with the rather dark clothes he always seemed to wear. Once in a while, you would see pictures of Yuuji, Shoko, Megumi, Nobara, just about every Tokyo Jujutsu Tech School member there was, and even Utahime, celebrating good times with Gojo. You didn’t find yourself in many of the pictures, but the ones you did find yourself happened to be some of your fondest memories. Far more common were pictures of you, with ridiculous, shit, you’d even go as far as to say downright ugly faces while he told you a stupid joke were also taped sloppily, some photos were even slanted. Gojo had made it a firm promise to take pictures of you when you least expected it, because that’s when he always found you the cutest. You peek at Gojo’s sleeping face once more, a slight giggle rising from your throat that you struggled to silence. His mouth, slightly agape, was now drooling onto the pillow he oh so gracefully rested on. Jerking your head up and snapping out of your Gojo daze, you realized that you were supposed to make your daily morning coffee for you and him today. You had chewed him out multiple times, telling him that the way he made coffee was nauseating. Usually, Gojo would always accompany the bitter drink with 8 sugarcubes, which was not your thing. He always seemed to forget, honestly you couldn’t really tell with him, giving you a mug of absurdly sweetened coffee every morning. You always foolishly assumed that he had listened to you from the last scolding, so you would always sip it, letting the coffee coat your pallet, but promptly spit it out as soon as you realized how sickly sweet it was. “Satoru! This is too sweet!” “Honeybun, you’re the sweetest thing in this room, what do you mean the coffee could be too sweet? Not possible.” he would inquire innocently, tilting his head to the side. You’d frown, shaking your head and muttering about the acts of distaste you’d do to him before Gojo bursts into a fit of laughter, pointing at you and watching you unenthusiastically look back. Most likely fuming silently, but you didn’t want to tell him that. “You’re so fucking cute when you’re angry, (Y/N).” “Satoru, I can literally not survive the day without coffee. Whatever you’re serving me is definitely not the coffee I want, and sooner or later I’ll be dropping dead.” He would shrug playfully, as if he didn’t even understand the core concepts of what you were trying to tell him. But you knew he did, he just didn’t want to do it. You would clench your fists, trying to look threatening. Your back straightening, and on your tippy toes even though you knew you could never be as tall as him. It never ever worked though, he would just continue to laugh harder, but that was just the routine. “Then do it yourself, sweetie. I wake up at the asscrack of dawn just to make you a cup of coffee. I don’t know about you, but that’s the best show of love.” “Oh I will. I’ll do it well.” And so, you weren’t lying. The two of you began to take turns. You woke up even earlier than you did for work, and made him his coffee (with extra sugar, just as he likes it) while also making yours, making sure to relish the bitter and frankly delicious black drink, void of any sweetening. The next day, he would as well. He never listened to your sugar lectures though, making sure to add 3-4 cubes just to make you angry. You had pretty much given up on all hope of ever getting your ideal coffee from Satoru, it was beyond him to even listen. Besides, you had grown to like the sweetness. Speaking of brown sweet liquids, it was a perfect hot cocoa morning. The snow was beginning to pile up outside, pure white blanketing just about everything. You hastily threw on an oversized sweater Gojo owned, which you had found strewn on the ground. You rolled your eyes, that guy was a mess. What would he do without you? Trudging and stumbling your way into the kitchen like a newborn fawn, you flicked on the lights. As soon as the lights came on, you shielded your eyes from the brightness. Cursing as you pulled out a chair, your eyes slowly adjusting, pulling the chair over to the shelves and cabinets out of reach. Now standing on the wooden chair, you grumbled. So much for being a good girlfriend, your legs ached for some reason, so every time you stood on your tippy toes, you winced. Knocking down a bottle of vegetable oil into the sink, you were startled by such an incredibly loud noise. Your eyes widen and your legs tangle as you scramble, almost falling backwards. Grabbing onto the cabinet’s ledge, you breathed a sigh of relief as the chair stabilized. This was a blessing in disguise, as the chocolate syrup came into view. A feeling of triumph flooding you, you happily hummed gently pulling it out. Setting it down on the counter, you got down, moving the chair over to the right. Standing back onto the chair, you placed a finger on your lips, slightly rubbing them. Your memory wasn’t doing you very well, forgetting where all the extra add-ons for baked goods were. Your tongue stuck out to the side, swinging a random cabinet’s doors wide open. You had guessed correctly, sprinkles of various vivid colors stood idly, eye-catching colors on full display. A fine coat of dust had settled on the caps. You coughed into your arm, now rummaging through the many sprinkles that Gojo would insist on buying because, “they were too cute to pass up.” Sometimes, you swore the guy was a middle-aged Pinterest mom. Yanking out a half opened bag of Jumbo Marshmallows, you did a small victory dance. Normally, Gojo would inhale the darned things, but he was asleep, and very soundly at that. Finally able to have your first taste of marshmallows in a while, you popped a couple in your mouth, practically melting. So sweet. Strolling over to the fridge while popping more marshmallows in your mouth, you lazily threw the bag onto the counter. Swinging the fridge door wide open, you shivered at the cold air, hauling a jug of milk out. As usual, it was half full. Gojo would insist on eating all his cookies with milk, and if he didn’t have milk with his cookies, he would not eat them, stating that it was against his beliefs to even begin to stare at a cookie without a cold glass of milk at the side. He was probably a 9 year old trapped in a 28 year olds body. Humming a short tune, you poured the milk into a mug that Gojo had bought for you as a souvenir on a business trip. Painted onto it was a beautiful scene. Flourishing, vibrant flowers only half-heartedly concealing an undisturbed pond, deers frolicking around it. The mug was your favorite cup, and even Gojo, who most likely had the memory span of a goldfish when it came to unnecessary facts such as this one, knew it. You flipped the chocolate syrup bottle upside down, smacking the top. Making a note to yourself to buy chocolate syrup the next time you went out. Strong arms wrapped around your waist, pulling you in closer. “Boo.” Startled, you twirled around, expecting a rather friendly home invader, or something along the lines of that. Instead, you were greeted with Gojo Satoru’s face. Satoru’s eyebrow twitches, looking at you with an amused expression. “Scared? We’re on the same boat.” he snickered, “woke up to some loud ass bang.” Gojo sleepy whispered into your ear, ruffling your hair with his large, calloused hands. His chin now resting on your right shoulder. “I dropped the vegetable oil on accident.” You ignored the light, fluttering feeling when he touched you. “Gosh, you’re a clumsy one aren’t you, sugar?” Scoffing, you whip your head back to the hot chocolate. An unhealthy serving of chocolate syrup was splattered inside the mug, already blending with the milk. “Don’t turn your back on me, pumpkin.” whining playfully, tugging at your left shoulder. There was something about such a playful, childish Gojo that you loved. You wished you got to see it more often. You pretend to be annoyed, looking at him, now standing up without the support of your shoulder, in the eye now. A flicker of mischievousness over his face, he looks down at you. “How thoughtful.” kissing your temple, he yawned. “Making hot chocolate for me? Oh hey- you even got the exact same amount of chocolate I like.” “Satoru.” hands on your hips, you were bemused. How could one even like sugar this much? “This is an ungodly amount of chocolate syrup, and can NOT be good for you.” His warm gaze stared back, a slight curve to his lips now. You swear you could die a happy girl now, Gojo wasn’t sleepy very often, so when he was, you made sure to relish it. Usually, when you were lucky enough to be in the presence of a sleepy Gojo, he was always softer. Giving you small, coy smiles. Your retort didn’t even seem to register in his brain in the slightest. “I want it, though.” You sighed, facepalming. “Ooooh, marshmallows!” suddenly bursting with energy he never exhibited before seeing the sugary treat, his long arm extended over to the bag, tugging at it to get it closer to him before finally shoving 3 or more into his mouth. “Satoru!” you yank his hand back from the entrance of his mouth, able to save a few, albeit a bit ugly and smooshed, marshmallows. “Wha?” he rubbed his eyes, chewing noisily on the marshmallows he was lucky enough to get into his mouth. “Baby. We need those marshmallows, here, can you microwave a bowl of them? Save a few for later.” He nodded obediently, tugging a bowl out of the “washed dishes” section of the sink. Wiping it down sloppily with a towel. He dug his hand into the marshmallow bag, throwing a few handfuls into the bowl before carefully placing the bowl into a microwave, sneaking a few more into his mouth before jabbing at a few buttons. “There.” he gave you a crooked grin and a thumbs up, walking back over to you, placing warm fingers against your cheek, suddenly jumping back. “Holy shit, babygirl, you’re cold.” About to respond, you too realized how cold you were. Lightly shivering, your hands seemed to be blocks of ice. “Babe, can you go get an extra sweater-” Hands under your sweater (well, technically his) suddenly, his warm, big hands massaged your breasts. You yelped, the hot contact against your cold skin was electrifying. His thumbs, rubbing over your nipples lazily, sent even more shivers down your spine. Quietly moaning, you looked back at Gojo, who seemed to thoroughly savor every little sound you made. “Like that, lil girl~?” “S-Satoru! Not now… I’m making you s-something!” “Hot cocoa doesn’t take a chef to make.” he placed kisses on your neck, lightly suckling on your bare skin. “I-I know, but just… N-not now.” you stammered, he was now tweaking your nipples, gently pulling them. He didn’t seem to register the request though, but instead was drawing lazily on your breast. “That better, missy?” he questioned, watching you catch your breath and gulp. Resting his chin on your shoulder once more. “Mmmmm.” you responded, thoroughly enjoying his warm touch. Closing your eyes, enjoying the mystifying feeling his hands always gave you. Loudly, the microwave beeped. Suddenly jumping up from the loud occurrence, Gojo cursed under his breath and jogged over to the microwave, swinging the handle open. “Great news, (Y/N). I didn’t burn the marshmallows!” Grumbling under your breath, and wishing all hell to the microwave for disrupting such an intimate event, you nodded, giving him a few weak claps for his rather stupid achievement. Gesturing for him to bring the bowl over, you pulled out a spoon from the drawer beneath you. As soon as Gojo placed the bowl on the counter, he zoomed back to where he had left off, grabbing one of your breasts and squeezing it. This time, he was massaging one of your shoulders. Your breathing was heavier when he did this, Gojo noted, watching as you struggled to mix the chocolate syrup and milk together. He did this for a while, eyeing the cooling marshmallow. He swiped up a dollop, wiping it down your neck. Letting out a gasp by the sudden warmth, you assumed it was Gojo’s mouth. To your surprise, it wasn’t. He licked the cloud of fluff, before straight up placing his entire mouth on it, lightly sucking and licking your skin. Your panties were getting awfully wet. “L-love, we n-need the fluff to a-add the finishing touch to t-the hot cocoa.” you would mutter, trying not to collapse from the pleasure. “You getting wet?” now lightly nibbling on your skin, his hand left your breast, dunking his hand underneath the fabric of your panties. He sneered, realizing the puddle that had seeped itself into the material. “Aw, you’re absolutely wet. Fuck am I saying?” he swirled his finger around your entrance, lightly dipping one of his fingers in before he took it out. Whimpering, your walls clenched around something that wasn’t there. “Anyways, let's get back to the hot cocoa!” innocently licking his glistening finger, he looked at you. ‘What? Y-you can’t do that to me-!” “Isn’t that what you wanted?” he chirped back, smiling devilishly. “That’s what I wanted before-” “Hush up, slut.” he rubbed your head with one hand, the other, stroking your cheek. You didn’t realize how hot you got when he called you a slut, whimpering, the hot cocoa long forgotten on the counter as you leaned into his chest. “Aw, you’re so cute.” tugging on your cheeks softly, you look up at him, while he looked down. Even though you were his girlfriend, you didn’t really see his eyes often. They were a brilliant shade of aquamarine, flecks of a darker blue were also sprinkled amongst the sea of various shades of blue. “You want something? You’re giving me those puppy eyes.” Still pulling at your cheeks, he stared down patiently, unable to hide the smile on his face. “I hate when you tease me.” you blurt out, surprisingly coherent, even though Gojo was pinching your cheek. Another flicker of amusement on his face. “That’s not how you ask for something you want.” He stopped pinching your cheeks, now staring at you. You couldn’t quite tell what he was thinking about, his face was blank, eyes cloudy. “Mmm, I’ll give you one last chance before you get punished. Now missy, what do you want?” You tugged at the hem of his pants, still making eye contact. “You can’t have that, sweetie.” he straightened you back up, so that you weren’t leaning on his chest any longer. “It’s way too early.” “Then what was the point of teasing me?” you groaned, clasping your hands together and looking at him. “Please?” you were sure to have your eyelashes flutter. He laughed, shaking his head. “Sorry, princess.” You groaned, getting down onto the cold floor, getting onto your knees, looking at his pleasurably entertained face. “...What about now?” He chuckled, rubbing your head again. “No, baby. I’m just not in the mood, but I can make a recommendation that works with me. Although, you’re really cute when you’re on your knees for me.” You nodded, nervously anticipating whatever he wanted to do. You didn’t need to wait, though, he carried you over to the table, like a princess, unclothing you quickly. Throwing his sweater onto the floor once again, you felt your heart jump a little. A small pile of clothing consisting of the sweater, your panties, and a t-shirt was crumpled up on the floor. He cupped your breasts, leaning over the table to look at them. His expression softened, placing delicate kisses on each breast, making you gasp a little. “So cute.” whispering, rubbing your nipples once again. Your hands found their home in Gojo’s hair, now clenching onto his snowy white locks. He grunted a little as you pushed his head further into your chest, effectively telling you to start suckling on the now slightly abused domes. “Just a sec, (Y/N).” extending his impossibly long limbs to grab the marshmallow fluff bowl, his long fingers danced at the rim, then pulled it closer to his chest. Yanking the spoon out of the bowl, he spread the lukewarm fluff on your body, you weren’t expecting such warmth, and you let out a yelp, realizing what he was slathering onto you. “Satoru! D-did you forget what I said e-earlier?” “Nope, I just don’t care.” sadistically grinning, he ducked his head down, the space between your breasts and his face non existent. He had practically smooshed himself into your embrace, your arms around his head. He was good with his tongue, you had to admit, too good. Goosebumps grew on your skin, no matter how many times you two fucked senseless, he still had such an effect on you. His tongue swirling around your nipple, fingers rubbing and teasing the other. You felt his hot breath against your skin, and you couldn’t help but think how good it felt. Strands of hair tickled you as he began to noisily slurp, before coming back up again. Your breast was glistening with spit, few thin lines of marshmallow fluff left over. He licked them up, before scooping up a few dollops of marshmallow fluff onto you, looking hungrily at the attention-starved breast, before diving back down. Fingers now giving the spoiled nipple almost close to 0 action. He licked the hard nipple a few more times before sucking onto it, as if he was a baby. I mean, he probably was. Afterall, he was a manchild. Regardless, you found yourself heavily breathing, hugging his head like it was the last thing you’d ever do. His teeth lightly nibbled, making you jump a little. Now biting onto it, you squealed. He glanced up, before going back down, licking the sensitive bud. You felt a rush near your lower regions, a familiar warmth rushed to your cheeks. “S-Satoru! I think I’m gonna-!” You weren’t even going to finish the sentence, the white, hot liquid pooling out of you as soon as you uttered a few words. Gojo’s attention was now focused on you, before looking down. “Woah, lil girl. That’s a large mess. I didn’t know your pussy needed any attention.” he directed his gaze towards your pussy, spreading the folds and softly examined it. “How pretty.” he muttered, he flicked his thumb on your clit, making you moan loudly. “FUCK!” you threw a hand over your mouth, he laughed, his breath tickling you. “You’re really wet.” Without any warning before hand, he dove in between your legs, beginning to noisily slurp at your folds, dipping his tongue into your entrance. You began to practically scream louder, you were fuzzy, your body, your mind, everything. Unable to cover your moans, you began to grimace at the stares your neighbors would give you when you went out for the mail. Gojo would laugh, telling you that, “He was just trying to show the world you were his.” and not pay any mind, cursing him for being so skilled, you struggled to contain all the noises you were making. You felt his tongue tease your entrance playfully, flicking your clit a few times for extra measure, you were now wildly thrashing, and you knew Gojo couldn’t wait to ridicule you over dinner. About to straight up shove his head closer into you, his tongue finally stuck inside of you. Letting out a sigh of relief mixed with added pleasure, he skillfully lapped at your juices. Noisily slurping away at you, he glanced up. You were trying to sit up, but were struggling as you did so. The waves of pleasure sent you crashing back down onto the table. You felt him exhale through his nose, tickling you once again. He closed the little space between you and his face, as soon as he was in contact with your skin, you wrapped your legs around his back, trying to close the distance that wasn’t there. Now, his tongue was reaching you in places you’d never think he would. Flush, hot skin was sweating against the table surface, but you paid no mind, promising yourself to wipe the top later. Hair strands practically glued to the sides of your head due to the sweat, you whined again, feeling yourself close to cumming. You were about to speak again, warning Gojo, but you couldn’t. Before the words could even spill out of your mouth, you felt yourself burst. Gojo, seemingly unaware, was still lapping at your walls. You looked at him, breathing heavily. His eyes widened, and you felt him stop licking for a while, before you saw him gulp and stand back up. His eyes twinkled a little in the light, and you straightened, sitting on the table, your heart still beating rapidly. “You never told me you were gonna cum.” You turned your head to the side, about to retort, before you realized the empty bowl of marshmallow fluff. “Satoru! I told you to not use it all!” (resposting because i think im shadowbanned, please interact if u saw this!)

#gojo satoru smut #gojo satoru #gojou satoru #jjk gojo satoru #jujutsu kaisen x reader #jjk x reader #gojo satoru x reader #gojo satoru x y/n #gojo satoru x you #smut and more smut #jujutsu kaisen gojo #jjk x you #jjk x y/n #gojou satoru x reader #hhhh #i think im shadowbanned

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inabottlelikelightning · 3 years

Text

10 fandoms, 10 characters, 10 tags :)

got tagged in this a While ago (@grenadinepeach thank u <3 <3 <3) and i thought i’d give it a shot since i’ve been in Quite a few fandoms

rules: show us your ten favorite characters from ten fandoms and then tag ten people to do the same.

1. theo raeken — teen wolf

yeah this can’t be a surprise to anyone. this man somehow inspired me enough to actually Start Writing. absolutely wild. love him to death. bamf dumbass. also it doesn’t hurt that he looks Like That.

honorable mentions: allison, lydia, kira. (sorry liam)

2. steve rogers — marvel

some of you may not know this about me but i was into marvel for Quite Some Time. i have to say 💓💗💖💞💝💘💕steve rogers 💞💓💗💖💕 in both the mcu and 616. and, like. avengers assemble. there is just something so.. [chefs kiss] about someone who has suffered So Much and still strives to just be a really good fucking person. i could write a whole essay on this mf. i love him a lot

honorable mentions: peter parker (SUCH a close second, not mcu because Yikes but aaaa 616 peter my beloved), peggy carter, miles morales, natasha romanoff

3. arthur ?????

i have seen inception an unspeakable amount of times and the most interesting thing is the Crumbs of information we have about all of the characters. he’s resourceful, he’s competent, he’s a great dresser. 10/10 don’t know anyone else who could take down a hotel full of men in a three piece suit with spontaneous changes in gravity. like godDAMN that’s attractive.

honorable mentions: i mean. there are only 7 total characters so, like.. eames i guess??

4. minerva mcgonagall — harry potter

oh MAN she was the Original bamf. screamed every time she came onscreen/on the page because i knew shit was about to go down. the only unproblematic character, and the only one fandom hasn’t absolutely Ruined. an accidental gem in the series, there’s no way joanne knew what she was doing here

honorable mentions: luna lovegood, neville longbottom, remus lupin

5. magnus bane — shadowhunters (TV)

okay so i just watched this series and good GOD it was so much better than the books. i felt like in the books magnus was always sidelined but the show really let him shine in all his warlock glory. absurdly powerful + very nice blazers + kickass eyeliner + amazing jewelry + cat dad + disgustingly kind + adopts various individuals as children as he goes through life because 💖💕💓💗found family💕💓💗💘. bisexual poc king. fucking love him, 17,000 exes and all.

honorable mentions: alec lightwood, izzy lightwood, raphael santiago

6. jared dunn — silicon valley

if you haven’t watched this show i would actually recommend it. it’s impressive. but jared is, by far, one of the FUNNIEST characters i have ever experienced in my whole life. the only reason he isn’t #1 on this list is because i feel a duty to everyone ^^ up there, but jared is. GOD. physical depiction of “perfectly pleasant and put together until he goes APESHIT”

honorable mentions: gilfoyle, bighead

7. crowley — good omens

true chaotic neutral at its finest. a bastard of a man, who Tries To Be Good Anyways. sad and pining. mortals believe he’s mafia, which is fucking hysterical to me. SINCE I STARTED THIS I FOUND OUT WE ARE GETTING A GOOD OMENS S2???? RISE TF UP

honorable mentions: aziraphale, anathema device

8. mazikeen — lucifer

she’s just.. uhhhh. she’s SO…… G O D. no words except that she’s the only reason i got through the 2nd season. so happy that she finally got a gf ❤️ she absolutely deserves it

honorable mentions: ella, trixie

9. toph beifong — avatar

absolute fucking legend. blind and kicked ass 24/7. this is my daughter and i love her very much. also apparently i’m an earthbender???? not too sure abt that one tho

honorable mentions: sokka, katara

10. alaric saltzman — the vampire diaries

okay couldn’t put a gif for this one bc of the tumblr limit but vampire hunter sticks around and acquires a vampire bro and a vampire daughter and trains a vampire hunter son and then acquires a vampire coparent to his 2 biological witch daughters… fantastic trope. i feel bad for him because his wives keep dying but he was a GIFT in the vampire diaries, no one did it like him

honorable mentions: bonnie bennett

tags: @attempted--eloquence @frustrateddumbbar @thecenturiestrickle @rohesiawrites @ttp5000 @cordelia---rose @songbvrd @li0nh34rt @edge0fmydesiree @lucilucialu

#theo raeken #❤️ steve rogers ❤️#arthur #minnie mcG #magnus bane #jared dunn #crowley #mazikeen #toph beifong #alaric saltzman

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canonicallyanxious · 3 years

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“was today a nothing day to you?”

Druck | Fatou/Kieu My | 1.1k words

Prompt from an anonymous donor on ko-fi: “ Kieu My and Fatou heading home together from school or something, maybe some shameless banter, and Kieu My wants to hold Fatou's hand but is nervous about doing so in public.”

First of all thank you so much for supporting me on ko-fi!!! I deviated very slightly from the prompt in that this is not them walking home from school but a canon compliant missing moment that takes place after the museum date clip in episode 6. i hope you enjoy!

“I think I need to head home soon,” Fatou said, squinting at her phone.

Kieu My watched her quietly, something in her chest clenching and unclenching without her telling it to.

(Strange, the things her body did that were wholly out of her control. She hadn’t asked to feel this dull ache in the pit of her stomach at the thought of this impossible day coming to an impossible end but here she was anyway.)

“I can walk you to your bus stop,” Kieu My said.

The skin between Fatou’s brows creased into a tiny frown, an expression which Kieu My couldn’t help but find endearing. “If it’s not out of the way for you.”

“It’s not,” Kieu My lied. “Who do you think I am, anyway, letting young girls walk home in the dark?”

Fatou laughed and pushed at Kieu My’s shoulder, too gentle to be truly threatening. That was also endearing. “Aren’t you a young girl too?”

She could feel her mouth quirking up into a smile. “Maybe so.”

There was a moment where Fatou’s hand lingered, briefly, at her shoulder. Just long enough to be noticed, just short enough that maybe it could be passed off as an accident. She looked up, and their eyes met; Fatou smiled. It occurred to her, then, that maybe Fatou didn’t intend for her to think it was an accident.

A braver girl, probably, would catch Fatou’s finger in her own, thoughtless and full of the kind of easy confidence that was real.

(She could only wonder what it would feel like to be a girl like that.)

She watched as Fatou’s arm fell back down to her side.

“Okay, then,” Fatou said, smile still lingering at the corner of her mouth in a way that made Kieu My want to kiss it, just to see what it would taste like. “It’s about five minutes this way, I think.”

Five minutes was not nearly enough time.

Though what would be enough for Kieu My’s greedy heart? She didn’t have a good answer to that.

(She just knew there was a part of her that craved to linger around Fatou for as long as she could, soaking up her warmth and her gentle way of being like a hungry sponge; and that part of her was nearly bottomless.)

Kieu My pushed her hands deep into her jacket pockets as they began to walk. “I hate this stupid weather,” she said. “It gets dark so fucking fast. Always makes me feel like I’ve done nothing with my day before I’ve even had the chance to eat dinner.”

Fatou hummed tunelessly. “Was today a nothing day to you?”

Kieu My thought about the latest page in her notebook - no words written on it, no doodles scribbled in the margins because she’d been paying attention to something else entirely and the thing was she didn’t even regret it. In that exhibit she and Fatou had walked circles around each other like a dance neither of them could hear the music to, blue lights bathing Fatou in a soft glow that seemed almost otherworldly.

(When she’d craned her head back to watch the film, she hadn’t seen stars; she’d seen Fatou’s eyes instead.)

“No,” she said, and dared to meet Fatou’s eyes.

Only for a moment, though. Fatou’s gaze grew soft when it caught on hers, and Kieu My looked away before she could quite stop herself. She had imagined that spending the day with Fatou (the whole day!) would have soothed the shakiness she always seemed to get in her hands whenever she came too close to Fatou and maybe turned into something that made her feel steady. Something she could get used to one day.

But it was quite the opposite, as it turned out. It was a small miracle her heart hadn’t yet pushed itself out of her chest and run somewhere far away.

(And yet. She couldn’t quite shake the feeling that when it came to Fatou, there was no such thing as too close.)

“Yeah,” Fatou said. “Me neither.”

They walked in silence for a while. Kieu My couldn’t figure out what was wrong with her. It seemed so damn easy to kiss a girl she liked under the cover of a dark room, no one around to see them or make assumptions about her she knew would make her skin crawl if she heard them. It was easy - to be around Fatou, at least. She made it easy. What did it matter what anyone else thought so long as Fatou was looking at her in her particular way, that way that made her feel like they were the only two girls in the entire world?

But in the end Fatou was Fatou, and Kieu My was Kieu My. She knew herself painfully well; she always made things harder than they needed to be.

Because what if out here she took Fatou’s hand, and Fatou pulled away? Wasn’t that what had happened the last time? It would be gentle because Fatou was nearly always gentle with her, with everyone; but that didn’t mean it wouldn’t still hurt like hell.

It would hurt worse, maybe, in some ways. Out here there was nothing but cold air between them, nothing but inches of space between their hands. Nothing to hide behind; nothing to use as a shield against all the ways this one person could ruin her. Which was fucking scary.

(What was even scarier was that Fatou made her want to risk it.

Who in this whole galaxy would be worth it, if not her?)

“This is me,” Fatou said then, jarring Kieu My out of her thoughts. They slowed to a halt in front of the bus stop and turned to face each other almost in tandem, which for some reason made Kieu My laugh a little. She smiled down at her shoes.

“Thank you,” she said.

There was a long pause. “For what?” Fatou said finally, confusion clear in her voice.

(For being you, Kieu My didn’t say.)

She shrugged instead. “A good day,” she said, which felt safer in some ways.

(Not all of them; absurdly, her heart still kicked itself painfully as the words left her mouth, as if she was telling Fatou a secret when in reality she was telling her practically nothing at all.)

Something brushed gently against her cheek, startling her into glancing up. Fatou met her gaze steadily, the corners of her eyes soft with understanding.

Her hand, Kieu My thought hazily. Fatou’s hand was against her cheek.

“You don’t have to thank me,” Fatou said.

On an impulse - driven by her touch against her face, maybe, or the look in her eyes - Kieu My reached up to take hold of Fatou’s hand.

“But I want to,” she said.

To that, Fatou said nothing.

She only curled her fingers around Kieu My’s, and held on.

(Strange, really, the way Fatou always seemed to know what she wanted to hear.

Or maybe it wasn’t strange after all.)

#druck #kieutou #kieu my vu #fatou jallow #sarah does writing #tbh anon i had kind of forgotten my ko fi was still linked in my bio skjdnfksdjnfs #but it was a very nice surprise and i really enjoyed writing this so thank you <33 #also tho i feel compelled to say i'm still taking prompts for free #so feel free to use my ask box next time skdjnfskdf #ko fi prompt fill #kieutou prompt fill

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thelittlequeerpumpkinwitch · 3 years

Note

Oh, for the ship ask, how about 💖 and 😒 for roloceit?

Hello this came out absurdly long. Also I started, stopped, and forgot this twice because I had to go out for dinner, and then the new Asides dropped.

💖- How do each of them feel about pet names?

I think it goes without saying that Roman is just about the biggest fan of pet names and quirky nicknames there is. He probably dedicates an entire journal to lists of nicknames for each of the sides, and makes little marks and notes to indicate which ones got particularly strong reactions. This one made Janus laugh, use again. Logan was frustrated he didn't understand this one, do not use. He's a dork, is what I'm saying.

Janus gets a lot of snake and scale themed nicknames still because Roman actually thinks his scales are lovely and wants him to know that, always. References to musicals, plays, and mythology are common place in his nicknames. Space themed nicknames are Roman's favorite for Logan, because they're romantic and fit so well, and he loves when Logan reacts to a new nickname in a way that lets him go off on a passionate ramble where he compares him to the sun and the stars until Logan is beet red and mumbling for him to please have mercy and stop his gay heart can't take this?? His nicknames are often themed around novels, sci-fi, science, and also mythology. Roman will also add specific references to Logan's current hyper fixation.

When it comes to simpler, more common terms of endearment Roman's favorites are things like my love, my treasure, my heart, my muse. Sweet and classic, and letting his loves know in a casual way that they're important and beloved and invaluable to him. As for being called pet names? Roman loves it. He's weak for being given affection in any form, honestly, but pet names give him this warm wobbly feeling in his heart. Janus's casual endearment, like loving Roman just comes so naturally and effortlessly to him, makes him melt. Logan's carefully curated nicknames, that he puts so much thought and effort into because nicknames don't come naturally to him but he loves his boyfriends so much that he wants to try anyway, always leave him beaming.

Janus is the second biggest fan of pet names here, because of course he is - he's just as much of a dramatic flirty theatre boy as Roman is. His arsenal of affectionate nicknames is smaller than Roman's, because he doesn't really plan them out like Roman often does. He'll make them up on the spot most of the time, just say whatever comes naturally at the moment. He's made up plenty of little situational nicknames that are almost forgotten as soon as that situation passes, until he says it again like four months later and it immediately reminds Roman or Logan of that exact situation and they start yelling (affectionately). He has a set of favorite nicknames for each of the sides, though, that he uses most often. Roman is his Prince Charming, his Braveheart, his ... terms themed around royalty, bravery, creativity, and charm. Janus is good at this, I am not. Logan can expect to be flustered with My Starlight and My Night Sky fairly often, and also Sherlock Holmes and references to his curiosity, because Janus finds that particularly endearing about him.

Janus's favorite pet name is darling and he uses it constantly, but he can also frequently sprinkle in terms like my beloved, my sweet, dearest, dear, dove. A lot of classic and sweet nicknames, which again, he uses often because terms of endearment just kind of come naturally to him. As for being called pet names, he's fond of it, and certain ones can fluster him, which his boyfriends love. Mostly he enjoys the simple reminder that he's cared for.

Logan's thoughts on pet names are a bit more complex but hey, he's a complex side. He's not good at nicknames, and he admits this. He's not that much better at terms of endearment in general, really. That kind of thing doesn't come as naturally to him, and he tends to express his affection in other ways. He knows, though, that Roman & Janus both enjoy them, so he does make the effort to use them every once in awhile, to cheer them up or just to see them smile. Because he thinks he's bad at them, Logan puts a lot of thought and genuine research into a nickname before he'll use it, because he wants it to be accurate and expressive and liked. Roman & Janus appreciate the effort he puts into them, especially because he doesn't really have to.

Logan always considered himself fairly neutral on the idea of nicknames and pet names, maybe even leaning towards dislike. He has a perfectly acceptable name and there's no reason not to use it, thank you. But that changed pretty fast when Roman & Janus started flirting with him. It flustered him for awhile, because there's a world of difference between pet names and the kind of mocking nicknames he's used to, but once they're all together they just kind of ... make him feel a bit warm and fuzzy.

😒- Who is more protective/gets jealous more easily?

Well, I can tag Logan right as the least protective and prone to jealousy. Not that he isn't protective at all, because he can and will shutdown anyone upsetting his boyfriends, but he has confidence that they can handle themselves and he's pretty good at being level-headed when he's not, you know, angry. He doesn't get jealous often and when he does it's mostly that insecure type of jealousy where he turns it in on himself.

Janus is very protective once he's attached to someone, and obviously his boyfriends are at the top of his list of attachments. He's protective in the way that he won't let anyone talk shit about them, only he can do that, how dare they? And he's very protective of like ... their excitement? If something is really important to them, Janus will bend over backwards to make sure no one else fucks it up, or he'll ruin their lives. He's like ... moderately prone to jealousy? He doesn't particularly like anyone outside of the circle flirting with his boys, and if he spots it he'll usually sweep in and out-flirt the offender and offer some scathing sarcasm and passive-aggression. Sometimes he gets caught up in the fear of being pushed out again and left alone, and he gets snappy and defensive.

Roman is a lot more protective in the physical ways. He's the one that would start a fist fight in public because someone got handsy with Logan or said something especially nasty to Janus. If someone or something is a threat to either of them? Roman will throw down at a moments notice. He'd take a bullet for them, but he's also definitely jumped in front of frisbees and tackled a wild Remus for them. Jealousy ... that's a bit of an issue for him. We all know his self esteem is in tatters, and that can get in his head and in the way of his relationships. He can caught up worrying that Logan & Janus love each other more than they love him, or that they're interesting in someone else and want to replace him, and why wouldn't they, he's so easily replicable-- Roman has definitely cried over his jealousy before, and him starting fights because of it is definitely a bit of a problem early in the relationship, though it is one that's eventually dealt with because of healthy communication and also therapy.

Uh, final verdict is Janus is the most protective but Roman is the most insecure, and Logan loves these fools.

BONUS HEADCANON.

Logan & Roman both own an absurd, insane amount of notebooks and journals dedicated to a vast variety of topics, including nicknames and relationships and random interests. Janus finds it such an amusing thing for them to have in common, and starts keeping a little relationship journal of his own where he keeps notes of all the little things and moments that made him think "wow, I love this person" and presented it to them on their anniversary. They loved it.

#not surprised that i rambled the most about roman #Roloceit #dez answers

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makeste · 4 years

Text

BnHA Chapter 280: I Am Red Riot

Previously on BnHA: The pro heroes over at Gunga Mountain struggled against Gigantomachia and the League until finally Midnight was all, “fuck it, let’s just put the kids in charge.” Momo immediately got to work organizing a sophisticated counteroffensive involving an exploding swamp, a bunch of sedative cans, and a massive coordinated team attack. I gotta tell you guys, it’s really something to watch a large-scale group attack in which all of the team members are actually competent. I don’t know what Japan put in the water when all these sixteen-year-olds were growing up, but that shit has paid off big time, and basically the only reason Machia hasn’t gone down yet is because he cheated and was all “sneeze” and the kids all got blown away because they are little and because he is really, really big. Anyway so then Dabi set the forest on fire because he loves doing that, and the chapter ended with Mina using her Acid Man attack to make herself FUCKIN’ FIREPROOF so she could charge through the woods ready to save the day and stuff!

Today on BnHA: Mina launches herself straight at Machia like the beautiful corrosive wild child she is, but then everything goes to shit when she recognizes him from that one time she almost got murdered while giving a strange man directions. Just when it’s looking like she might get killed for real this time, KIRISHIMA SHOWS UP TO SAVE THE DAY AND SHOVES HER TO SAFETY AND IS ALL “BOTTOMS UP” AND HEAVES A LITERAL CAN OF WHOOPASS RIGHT IN MACHIA’S MOUTH. At this point the grown-ups are all “oh wow look at that, time for us to take over for you kids now, don’t worry we’ve got it all under control” because Oh Those Wacky Pros and all that, but at least Majestic finally deigns to show his face so that’s a plus! The chapter ends with us cutting back to the Jakku battle, where Tomura is curled up in a little ball all “curse you heroes, how dare you [checks notes] save people all the time”, which is a real take and a half. Anyway so things are looking up, which can only mean everyone is about to die. That’s how it works, right. Shit.

HOLY SHIT LOL

THIS IS MINA. SHE’S REALLY COOL AND SHE CAN MELT PEOPLE. um, the hell kind of tagline is that?? holy fucking shit?? “melt and succumb”?? IS THE SUCCUMB PART REALLY NECESSARY. IS THAT NOT ALREADY IMPLIED. it’s like saying “die and then perish”, which actually sounds really badass and I’m about to make it my new go-to threat actually so you know what never mind. where the fuck were we anyway

“IS EVERYONE SAFE” some absurdly bad-at-gauging-situations kid from class B is yelling while the forest is on fire and all the kids are recovering from having been catapulted fifty miles by King Dodongo’s windy yeet breath. of course they are safe, sweet child. of course everyone is absolutely fine, why the fuck would they possibly not be safe after something like that

KAMINARI NOOO MY POOR SWEET BABY

AT LEAST HE’S STILL CONSCIOUS ENOUGH TO MAKE STUPID JOKES. holy shit this baby got concussed to hell and back and then Machia turned him and the others into precipitation and he wasn’t in any kind of state to even try to land safely, I hope to god someone caught him

Sero is all “is there anyone still in range!” and damn, I like that he’s taking charge and trying to regain their momentum. he is so criminally underrated. I feel like he’s in the top six or seven of class 1-A kids who I would most trust to take charge. which is very high praise because that class has a lot of charge-taking kids

SPEAKING OF

it “probably” can’t get through her acid, she says. my god. sometimes the spirit of Plus Ultra just takes ahold of these kids and it’s like, I want to ruffle their hair proudly and then grab them by the shoulders and shake them vigorously because WHERE EVEN IS YOUR SELF-PRESERVATION WHY DO NONE OF YOU HAVE IT GODDAMMIT AIZAWA REALLY SHOULD HAVE EXPELLED YOU GUYS AFTER ALL

man. and yet I really do love this “be the one who can do it” stuff. what a heroic fucking attitude dfjfklks. I’ll just go put on my humongous sandwich board that reads GIANT FUCKING HYPOCRITE and go stand in the corner

damn it this week’s scan is annoyingly dark, it’s really hard to tell what’s going on but it looks like the pros are attacking Machia and the League at long last. way to go guys it only took you seven years but you finally hopped to it

MINA WHY IS THE ACID COMING OFF OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD. PUT IT BACK!!!

I KNOW SHE’S NOT GONNA DIE DAMMIT BUT AHHHHH AHHHHHH AHHHHHHHH

okay what the hell is up with these weird zen proverbs though

“your fear stricken heart”, “the shortest path”, what the fuck even is this. whose thoughts are these. normally these translations are honestly decent enough but I gotta say this time around I’m totally being thrown for a loop lmao

(ETA: FYI I’m only just now realizing that he was saying the shortest path to Master, as in Tomura, not “master” as in to master something fjkldjskf lol some delayed reading comprehension there. so basically he’s just bitching about how annoying these little “flies” are proving to be.)

JESUS CHRIST

okay is it just me, or is Gigantomachia suddenly showing intelligence in his eyes instead of mindless animal instinct the single most pants-shitting thing you’ve ever seen?!! holy shit. the way he just LOOKS at her out of nowhere all of a sudden?? holy fucking shit DO NOT HURT MT. LADY OH MY GOD I’M FREAKING THE FUCK OUT. AND DON’T YOU DARE HURT MINA EITHER!! JUST FUCKING DIE AND PERISH

but also though, is that recognition in Mina’s eyes?? because even though this dude is 80 feet tall now, her encounter with him a couple years back had to have been one of the more memorable experiences of her young life. damn I was wondering when this would finally come into play

OKAY YES THE NEXT PAGE IS A FLASHBACK OH SHIT

this has nothing to do with anything but Mina just has the prettiest hair, btw, and this “just woke up covered in acid” look is a particularly good one on her. it looks so soft and fluffy, like damn. this is like Shouto-hair-billowing-in-the-wind levels of pretty here

NOOOOO

oh my god holy shit?! putting her back in the school uniform to show the slip in her mentality is a PUNK MOVE, HORIKOSHI, and I respect the shit out of you for it you manipulative bastard. goddammit. bracing myself for the incoming wave of Mina feels... here they come... they’re a lot... let’s see if I can latch on to anything I can actually figure out how to describe in words

okay well here’s one, my respect for Mina’s bravery just went up like a thousand percent in this instant, because now we know this was actually such a traumatizing event for her that hearing Machia’s voice again years later immediately sent her into a full-blown flashback. she was that scared and yet she still stood up to him and didn’t hesitate. and now I’m remembering how her knees just buckled right afterwards, and just...

and this visual, though!! what a brutally effective way to show that in her mind she went right back to being that scared middle schooler again for a moment. god fucking damn. holy shit you guys is Kirishima fireproof because if he comes waltzing out of the woods next I don’t even know what I’m gonna do. lolo kids getting traumatized left and right this arc is fucking merciless

um eXCUSE ME!?!?!

YOU MOTHERFUCKING PIECE OF SHIT LET GO OF HER RIGHT NOW OR I AM GONNA LOSE IT!!

THAT’S NOT WHAT I MEANT!!

holy shit he could have fucking snapped her neck like that??! I don’t like this at ALL WHAT THE FUCK

OKAY SERIOUSLY

I’M GONNA NEED ANOTHER KID TO STEP IN HERE WITH A LAST MINUTE SAVE LIKE RIGHT THE FUCK NOW, OR I AM GOING TO THROW MY COMPUTER OFF A FUCKING CLIFF AND MOVE TO THE DESERT AND BECOME A HERMIT AND NEVER READ MANGA ON THE INTERNET AGAIN

OH THANK GOD

TODAY WE SPELL “REDEMPTION” K-I-R-I... ETC. THERE’S A LOT OF LETTERS BUT YOU GET THE DRIFT!!!

holy fucking shit y’all. I mean, it’s not like it came out of nowhere, like the setup could not have been more obvious, but let me assure you that none of the predictability lessened the actual impact of this moment in the SLIGHTEST. Horikoshi really wrote a flashback scene one hundred and thirty five chapters ago and planted it, watered it once a day, and patiently waited for THREE LONG YEARS until he could finally harvest the badass fruits of his labor in the midst of his most epic arc to date. I’m so fucking hyped I’ll even forgive him for sacrificing Mina’s big moment and having her get rescued, because it’s such a good reversal. he didn’t freeze up this time. he promised himself he’d never freeze again and he didn’t and he saved her and god fucking damn. anyways so now Machia is going to treat him like a fucking action figure though but he’s a solid little dude he can take it hopefully

NO WHAT IS THIS!!! STOP KILLING MY MOOD!!!

she better not be dead!! SHE BETTER NOT FUCKING BE DEAD I WILL RUN MY PC THROUGH A PAPER SHREDDER AND GO AND LIVE ALONE WITH MY FEELS ON A MOUNTAIN IN TIBET

CHINTETSU!!

well we know he’s fireproof. another callback at the least expected of times lmao

so Tetsu’s all “yeah Kirishima’s not really all that fireproof but he totally ran over here anyway to save you. oh wait that probably wasn’t very comforting of me to say.” maybe that’s why it seems like he might not have actually said it out loud, now that I’m reading this over again. good call Tetsu

ARE YOU STANDING UP AND CASUALLY STRETCHING OUT YOUR BACK

I CAN’T EVEN BELIEVE HOW MUCH I HATE THIS GUY RIGHT NOW. WE’RE REACHING LEVELS OF HATRED RESERVED FOR NAZIS AND PEOPLE WHO WALK TOO SLOWLY IN FRONT OF ME IN A GROUP SHOULDER TO SHOULDER INSTEAD OF SINGLE FILE SO I CAN PASS IN FRONT OF THEM. YOU’RE A FUCKING TOURIST IN NYC YOU PIECE OF SHIT

lmao he’s just dropping this random hero person and letting him fall to his doom wheeeeee

remind me to leave all of the League of Villains’ texts on read for the foreseeable future. goddamn. I still love you guys but also, fuck you so damn hard

OHO A LIL RED SCALY BOI ISN’T DONE YET!!

real talk, just between you and me, I’ll lower my voice so that Kirishima can’t hear. so uh. we all agree that even if Kiri is fireproof and squishproof, that little can of tranquilizer juice technically shouldn’t have been, right? but we’re all going to hush and pretend like it was anyway for the sake of not spoiling his big moment. even though I am crossing my arms and tapping my chin with my finger while doubtfully glancing to the side

anyway here he goes!

YEAH KIRI GO GETTIM [stage whisper] there it is, in his pocket. should’ve burned. we won’t discuss it

OH FOR FUCK’S

TOGA YOU LITTLE WIENER BUT WHAT’S THIS ABOUT “MY HALF” NOW????

DID HE GRAB MINA’S MID-AIR?? IS HE REALLY REACHING INTO HIS BACK POCKET AND FUCKING UNZIPPING IT RIGHT NOW WHILE HOLDING ON TO NOTHING AND PRESUMABLY FALLING THROUGH THE AIR. DID A LITTLE BIT OF OCHAKO’S QUIRK RUB OFF ON YOU OR WHAT

OH SNAP SON HE REALLY DID THE THING HOLY SHIT???

AND TOKAGE FLEW OVER AND SAVED HIM AND NOW TANKS ARE SHOOTING AT MACHIA, LMAO WHAT IS THIS. MOMO HOW MANY GUNS DID YOU MAKE

Shouji standing there trying to be useful any way he can. are eyeballs really that much more effective if you make them the size of tennis balls and hold them up above your head. legit question, I don’t really know how eyes work

okay after 45 seconds of googling this my impression is that no, they are not. well good on you for giving it the old college try anyway though Shouji

oH MY GODLKDLK?!?!

DID SHE SAY WHAT I THOUGHT SHE SAID, DID SHE SAY MAJESTIC, ARE WE GONNA SEE MASJKESLTKCI DSFLKJL

oh my god he really is the Magic Man dude??? TIME TO DUST OFF MY INVENTORY OF ADVENTURE TIME QUOTES

(ETA: AHH FATGUM AND GANG ORCA ARE THERE TOO YESSSS!)

“that’s enough depending on some interns” oh, okay. now that they’ve done all your work for you. I see, I see

so now Gigantomachia is LITERALLY UNHINGING HIS JAW I can’t fucking believe this dude you guys. everything he does is just like, ARE YOU SERIOUS

please go to sleep already. thanks to you I have my keyboard set to capslock as the default for the duration of this chapter

ARE YOU SERIOUS YOU FUCKING WAITED UNTIL MAGIC FUCKING MAN SHOWED UP TO TEACH US MAGICAL LIFE LESSONS AND NOW YOU’RE CUTTING BACK TO THE TOMURA FIGHT?? WHY DO WE KEEP LETTING THIS MAN GET AWAY WITH THIS

oh my god you guys they really fucking did it

I guess that Howitzer slash fire punch combo really was that potent huh

anyway so now Endeavor is standing there making a big speech instead of reaching into Tomura’s pocket and taking the bullets that he doesn’t know about and shooting him with one asap. dammit Endeavor

aaaaand Tomura is firing back with the wisdom of Shimura Fucking Kotaro of all people

well you sure convinced me. damn I don’t know what I was thinking. heroes suck you guys. how dare they help other people all the time

so now he’s all “PERIOD, EXCLAMATION POINT!!”

take that Endeavor. you heard the man. it’s not destruction without conviction, as god as his witness he will have you know it is destruction WITH conviction. something something the great sage Shimura “I hurt my family for absolutely no reason at all, fuck this ‘helping others’ bullshit” Kotaro. I hope you packed your textbooks because you just got SCHOOLED. I hope the person who ordered you signed up for delivery notifications because you just got SENT. I HOPE YOU LIKE CAPITALISM BECAUSE YOU JUST GOT OWNED. I HOPE YOU CHOSE PAPER AND NOT SCISSORS BECAUSE YOU JUST GOT ROCKED

what an absolutely, unreservedly bizarre place to end the chapter lol. we’re really just done with this week, just like that. Majestic showed up and Gigantomachia opened his chin like a garage door and Tomura is all “you may have won the battle but you suck” while he buys time for Aizawa to suddenly sneeze or something so he can make his terrible comeback and continue Horikoshi’s Traumatize Every Kid in Class 1-A 2020 campaign. what an arc this is my friends. what an arc

#bnha 280 #ashido mina #kirishima eijirou #gigantomachia #shigaraki tomura #bnha #boku no hero academia #bnha spoilers #mha spoilers #bnha manga spoilers #makeste reads bnha #I didn't even notice the extra page on readheroaca until I was getting ready to click 'post' lol #something about ochako mistaking a real orca for their friendly teacher #resulting in a hilarious case of mistaken identity #I have no idea what this page is about or what it is doing there #but at this point 'because 2020' seems like a reasonable explanation for just about anything tbh

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sneakydraws · 3 years

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Well, here it is - a lengthy explanation of each card in my mdzs major arcana deck and what I meant to convey/what i would have changed in retrospect/what alternatives i considered! It’s a bit messy and my typing style is lazy but hopefully it will be an interesting read to some of you :)

And so you don’t say I didn’t warn you - jiang cheng’s section (11 justice) is absurdly long lmao

0 the fool I elaborated on this in the post itself but yeah basically jin ling is kind of representative of all the damage and trauma caused by the past, and there’s a kind of danger there of him falling victim to the same vices as the older characters and repeating the same mistakes and perpetuating the cycle of war and misery (the cycle that we already see with how the jin sect became the new wen sect, and later with how jgy became the new wwx) and he has a lot of room to grow! He grows so much over the course of the novel, comes to realise the complexities of the past and gets a harsh life lesson in how nothing is as black and white as it seems. But ill save talking about his progress for the end, for now whats important is that he has room to grow and also a dog. I don’t really have a justification for the sun, i mostly just thought it looked sick? It made its way to the next card as well, where it makes a bit more sense, but then i realised it was a dumb motif to include 1 the magician I still very much like wwx for the role, and that illustration would have probably had him raising a corpse on his left and pointing threateningly to the sun on his right. I considered including the table as well, with some mdzs relevant items replacing the card suits. Anyway, like i said wwx got a few cards to himself already so i went with the alternative wq design, since i think she fits the card as well. Both she and wwx are highly skilled people, extremely driven once they set their mind to something. The card to me symbolises the creative mind as well as a general drive for action, which fits them both - wwx was famously a prolific inventor, and wq came up with a previously unheard of surgery, after all. This card strays pretty far from the rider-waite deck design, largely because i was still figuring out how i wanted to approach this series, but you can still see the influence. 2 the high priestess I was actually going to skip this card at first because I couldn’t think of a fitting character, but once i considered a qings character post death, it all fit pretty well. She was already a highly intuitive person in life, and in sharing her memories with wwx she is, in a way, relaying a kind of secret knowledge. Anyway she’s one of my fav characters so im glad i got a chance to include her. The coffins could be interpreted to be xxc and sl or xxc and xy 3 the empress Theres other mother figures in mdzs who got to be mothers for a longer time, but jyl definitely embodies the positive aspects of this card the best. She’s nurturing, kind, emotionally supportive, she already mothered wwx and jc quite a bit when she was young. Plus i liked that the rw card had both water and flowers, making an easy lotus connection. In retrospect the stars look kind of out of place and i should have replaced them with something more relevant... Also, i should have had her hold a lotus seed pod instead of a flower, haha 4 the emperor Like i said I considered jc for the role but hoching bullied me into admitting that nmj was better… they’re both more of an inverted emperor than an upright one but then again theres hardly any character in mdzs who would fit upright emperor so. Jgs was also considered but he’s even uglier than nmj so i couldn’t bear to draw him 5 the hierophant It was pointed out to me that lqr would have fit this card better and the truth if that statement haunts me to this day. Unfortunately I have no space in my brain for lqr so lxc got the role instead. My main reason was his role during the wen destruction of gusu lan, when he ran away with the contents of the library - this is why there’s bookshelves behind him. The keys, take, from the rider-waite deck, are meant to represent the gusu pendants that allow you to enter 6 the lovers Im sure many people would have chosen wangxian here but I uhh don’t really care abt wangxian personally? And also their love story is so convoluted that jyl and jzx seem idyllic by comparison lol. Also i didnt really have an idea for who to put in the angel’s place for wangxian… mme jin certainly did not get these two together in the end but undeniably she and mme yu did initially give them a chance to fall for each other so. Thats something i guess. Anyway the trees became their sects’ flowers and the mountain became the burial grounds - an omen of their tragic fate, basically 7 the chariot There might have been other characters who fit this card better but i couldn’t really think of another card for lwj and i thought it would be weird to not include him… anyway i don’t really care for current timeline lwj BUT i do like that he was clearly influenced by wwx to walk his own path in life based on his moral convictions rather than follow his sect’s rules blindly. The chariot is to me a card of self control, self determination and focused action, so it seemed fitting. The composition felt kind of empty without the actual chariot so i padded it out with the guqin, the cloud recess in the bg (it doesn’t look great but i tried to replicate the drama design….) and the bunnies which conveniently fit the colour scheme of the sphinxes in the rider-waite design 8 strength Like i said before, my interpretation of this card is more… morally ambiguous than the quote unquote official meaning, so i thought about manipulative or duplicitous characters more than kind characters whose strength is expressed through gentleness (though i did consider jyl briefly for the latter interpretation). As such, i considered both jgy and nhs, but ended up going with jgy largely because i couldn’t pass up the opportunity to put the nie sect’s beast as the lion. 9 the hermit My thoughts immediately went to bssr lol. It may be an overly literal interpretation but whatever, i like it just fine. And i like that i managed to echo the rider-waite silhouette in the mountain and the tree (and even in bssr herself) 10 wheel of fortune God i love the parallels between these 2… this card to me is about how you cant trust your current situation, good or bad, to last forever, and these 2 embody that perfectly imo. Wwx went from son of a well off servant and a powerful cultivator, to street rat orphan, to adopted son of sect leader jiang, to double orphan, to MIA, to terrifying but admired warrior, to terrifying and despised traitor, to dead, to, at the very end, suddenly respected and trusted again. The dishonesty and cheapness of whatever the public’s current opinion of him is is portrayed beautifully as far as im concerned. And jgy of course claws his way up to power only to instantaneously become public enemy number one, to the point that he’s probably blamed for stuff there’s no reason to believe he had a hand in. Wei wuxian’s silent astonishment at how quickly the cultivation world turns against jgy and towards him again is a delicious moment of thematic resonance. 11 justice I settled on this card for jc after he got booted from the emperor seat but i do think it fits, in a somewhat convoluted way. I turned both the sword and the scales into visual representations of the golden core transfer (can you tell im obsessed with it). According to biddy tarot, the justice card is partly about searching for the truth, and the scene where jc finds out about the transfer is of course a big deal. I was also very influenced by the reversed meaning again - which is about being reluctant or unwilling to face or accept the consequences of your actions. I feel on an intuitive level that this fits jc but I’m not sure how well i can explain it - it’s something about how he’s a little too comfortable scapegoating wwx for things that were also, if much less so, influenced by his actions, and also something about the way he keeps wwx at an arm’s length emotionally but still leans on him and accepts his support when he really needs it, and somewhat hypocritically expects wwx to put the needs of him and the jiang sect before the needs of others. And also something about the core exchange is the consequence and proof of wwx’s deep - terrifyingly deep, even - love and care for him, which is something jc doesn’t seem to let himself acknowledge. Maybe even something about how you could argue that the way all of the jiangs acted around wwx - jfm’s favouritism that left him with the feeling of a debt he needs to repay, mme yus insistence that he be a servant more than a brother to jc, prepared to give his life for jc, and jc’s own unwillingness - or inability, he was a child after all - to clearly acknowledge wwx as an equal to himself, enabling wwx’s self sacrificial and protective tendencies - that all of this was what caused wwx’s complete and unquestioning willingness to do whatever it took to protect jc, and therefore paved the way to the golden core transfer. And i don’t mean this to be scapegoating jc - especially considering how young he was when this all went down, it wouldn’t be fair to expect this level of emotional perceptiveness, awareness and maturity of him - but i think adult jc has to grapple with the fact that the chain of cause and effect was not as simple as wwx fucking everyone’s lives up to be a martyr, and that both jc and his parents had a role in that story as well. I don’t even necessarily think this is something that jc only realised in the current timeline - i think it’s something he felt on some level this whole time, and it probably led to a lot of feelings of guilt - but the suibian reveal definitely puts it in sharp focus, and i think he’s now better equipped to handle this introspection than he was as a recently orphaned, traumatised teenager, lol. ANYWAY the window with the fabric is both a nod to the rider-waite design and a reference to the destruction of lanling - i actually did some basic ass research for this, and it seems that in ancient china fabric would indeed be hanged in a window if the normally used paper was damaged. The design of the window, as well as the very idea to use it to imply the reconstruction of lanling, was taken from this great piece of jc angst by my pal moroll1! Oh yeah also the covered window kind of works as a denial of forgiveness for jc because it’s like a halo but covered up... Also I completely forgot to put a blindfold over his eyes which would be perfectttt because blind justice and the core exchange......... ok moving on 12 the hanged man I always have issues with this card because i cant find a satisfactory summary of what it’s really about. Best i can tell it symbolises a need to hit pause, surrender or let go of something… ive also seen it tied to sacrifice? So mo xuanyu doesn’t fit perfectly, but sacrifice is definitely there in a surface level reading kind of way, and the idea that you have to surrender or let go in order to achieve your goal does fit the whole deal of getting revenge but giving up your life in exchange and not being there to see it 13 death This is probably one of my favourite cards, definitely not because I have huge issues with change or anything…. I see this card as signalling the necessity of change or putting an end to something / leaving something in the past in order to start anew? At first i considered putting past wwx, mxy and current wwx here as a kind of transformation and one cycle flowing into the next... But firstly, I’d already used mxy in the very previous card, so putting him in again would feel like overkill, and secondly, the longer I thought about it the less convinced I was that this would even fit with the card’s meaning? Because coming back from the dead doesn’t like... trigger an internal transformation within wwx or anything? Anyway, fun fact: the design I ended up going with was actually originally intended for judgement! I thought I was being very clever with the whole “figure plays an instrument and the dead rise” parallel, but apparently I’d just completely forgotten that the judgement card had a completely different composition... Truly I was boo boo the fool... But yeah anyway at the end of the day I figured the design would kind of work for death as well, with Wen Ning and the theme of transformation, (since in his case coming back as a fierce corpse does actually mark a certain transformation in behaviour) and Wei Wuxian’s protection of the Wen people essentially signifying an attempt to break the cycle of oppression if that makes any sense? Like, wwx is trying to revolutionise the way the world works a bit, if you catch my drift 14 temperance The centrist card! Again this is probably going off track from the “official” interpretation, but to me this card has a certain “don’t commit fully; do everything in moderation; don’t take either side” flavour to it that i personally find infuriating irl and that i very much assign to lxc. It’s entirely possible that I’m misinterpreting his character because i didn’t really pay him (and the 3zun in general) much mind while reading, but hell, I’m allowed to pick favourites and choose who i want to interpret deeply vs shallowly. Again, i wish id chosen lqr for hierophant because its so annoying for a character i don’t care about to get two cards…. But oh well 15 the devil My alternative idea for this was jgy as the devil and lxc plus nmj as the figures, but since all three had been featured already (multiple times, even!) i figured I’d go with xy instead, especially since he’s among my faves lol. I think the devil signifies something along the lines of unhealthy attachment, obsession or addiction, which isn’t 100% accurate in the case of xxc and a-qing, but if i stretch it a bit to cover toxic relationships in general, and especially manipulation or negative influence, i don’t think it’s half bad. My main struggle here was to choose who amongst the xxc/sl/aq trio to choose for the human figures. 16 the tower Arguably jin zixuans death and the following massacre of nightless city were the final and most direct reason for the siege of burial mounds, and the tiger seal is good shorthand for wwx’s loss of control over his powers, which led to the deaths of jzx and jyl. When reimagining major arcana i like to feature some kind of building in this card (spoilers for a possible future project but in my rose of versailles major arcana set the tower is bastille) and even if it’s not a tower, the image of wwx looming over the gathered crowd from atop a rooftop is so good i couldn’t resist 17 the star Struggled with this one - considered both jin ling and lsz for it, as symbolising a hope for the future, but that was kind of covered by the world so it wouldn’t make sense to include here as well... As usual when I struggle with interpreting a card (as opposed to understanding it but struggling with matching a character to it, like with death or moon) I went to biddy tarot and read all the details about its meaning. What i got was that this card signifies an incoming period of introspection and inner peace following a time of turmoil, as well as a general moving on into a new, better phase of one’s life or finding new meaning and purpose. The figure also suggests someone vulnerable, but possessing a keen sense of intuition as well as a good degree of practicality and common sense. Given all those, I settled for mianmian because IM LOVE HER..... I also kind of see her as a prelude to the “just one person is enough” theme present in tgcf!! And i think her decision to abandon her sect because she saw the toxicity and corruption in it is a very inspiring action - even if it didn’t make a large visible impact, i think the appearance of her and her idyllic family at the very end of the novel - paralleling and mirroring wangxian - implies that at the end of the day, it was a meaningful one 18 the moon Another card i ALWAYS fuxking struggle with - this time less because i can’t grasp its meaning and more because I can never find a character that fits it well. I usually get fixated on the “dreams and subconscious” part, but if i lean more on the “disguise, deceit, anxiety and fear” part, i eventually figured the whole yi city arc wouldn’t be a bad fit. I say the entire arc because it really does encompass all those themes if you include both the past and the present - xue yang’s disguise, his tricks with the villagers, a-qing’s lies and even xxc’s reluctance to talk about his past as well as xue yang pretending to be xxc all fit the disguise and deceit angle, and the general mystery and creepiness of the current timeline yi city work well with the anxiety and fear - the mist, the slow uncovering of the past, even a-qing being revealed to be an ally after scaring the shit out of the protags. I definitely struggled with including all the elements and characters, and even moreso with making them vaguely fit the rider-waite composition, but i think it ended up okay ish. OH and i completely forgot to draw mist swirling around them :( 19 the sun I was considering mianmian’s family for this one, but since I used her for star, I ended up with wwx and his parents instead. Once again I’m reinterpreting the card a bit - normally I think it symbolises incoming times of pure happiness and abundance, as well as a connection with the inner child, but I gave it more of a nostalgic or sentimental twist - wwx looking back at the brief glimpse of his happy childhood. 20 judgement another card that i struggle to interpret a bit... Here i actually used the tgcf tarot zine as a reference! In it judgement is summarised as “rebirth, following duty, absolution” SO i figured that nhs, mxy and wwx all together would fit pretty neatly... wwx achieving (public) absolution through clearing his own name after being reborn, and nhs sort of calling on wwx to expose jgy’s crimes... It’s a bit messy but not bad I think! 21 the world This ties very closely to my read on mdzs as a story - which is that it’s, at the end of the day, largely about cycles, and about how hard it is to break them, but how we gotta keep trying and have hope anyway. Or maybe more precisely, that the people directly involved with and influenced by the trauma of the past might not be able to get over said trauma and that the hope for healing from it will be shouldered by the new generation. Or something like that… Basically what i mean is that jc and wwx and lwj and lxc and nhs and jgy and all these people who were in the thick of the sunshot campaign and the siege are so profoundly affected by it that it genuinely feels by the end of the story like there is little hope for them to ever truly overcome that trauma and build a better future without repeating the same old mistakes - but there is a glimmer of hope in the new generation, specifically in jl and lsz. And it’s a bit paradoxical, because they have also been directly impacted by the past tragedies - lsz having his entire clan wiped out after wwx failed to protect them, jl losing both his parents to wwx’s mistakes - but despite that loss, and despite coming from arguably the two opposing sides of the past conflicts, they are both, in the end, capable of moving past that tragedy, of recognising the complicated nature of those conflicts (jl’s moment of clarity at the end is both heartbreaking and hopeful) and forging friendships between clans in the process. I honestly think that the extra where jl is struggling to assert his authority as sect leader, to treat his subjects well and to cooperate with other sects in a truly amicable way is the single hopeful ending note for the larger themes of the novel - it allows us to imagine that maybe these kids can learn from the mistakes of their elders rather than getting sucked in by resentment at those mistakes, and actually build a brighter future for the cultivation world. And sidenote, this is also why i have a soft spot for jin ling and lan sizhui as a ship... speaking of which their poses were directly referenced from the lovers card ehehe

Looking back, I’d like to add some symbol of jin ling’s trauma so that it mirrors baby wen yuan in the tree stump... maybe his father’s sword?

#mdzs #mo dao zu shi #tarot

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jamiemackenziefraser · 3 years

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All That Was Fair

Chapter 6: Bonded Pair

Chapter Summary: Things get more difficult for Jamie as he struggles to keep himself in check.

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Chapter 6: Bonded Pair

Jamie was just about to stand up (unsure of how exactly he was going to do so with Claire still reclining on his chest and giving no indication that she was interested in moving) when suddenly his stomach let out a loud grumble.

Claire had jerked away and was twisted to look at him in concern before his stomach had even stopped its growl. There wasn’t even a chance to explain. She thrust a hand out to place over his stomach, palm flat against it and oh-so tiny, and she looked up at him with such earnest worry.

“What’s wrong?” she asked.

Her free hand came up to rest on his jaw. He could feel her thrumming with concern over him.

Jamie found himself enjoying her attentions so much that he almost didn’t want to explain to her that there was nothing to worry about. But her brows were furrowed and she was studying him anxiously, so he quickly explained.

“Dinna fash. That’s just my body telling me that I need to eat.”

In all the excitement, food had been the last thing on his mind. He spared a glance down at his watch and found it to be 14:10. Seems he’d forgotten all about lunch.

Claire was giving him a look of admonishment. “You need to care for yourself,” she said, looking disturbed, “if your body is telling you that, it’s for a reason.”

He gave her a dismissive half-shrug. “I jes’ forget wi’ everythin’ goin’ on. Humans usually eat three times a day, ken? I already had my first meal, which we call breakfast, and now it seems I missed lunch, the second meal.”

“We need to get you it then,” she exclaimed. She shot to her feet and reached a dainty hand down to him. When he didn’t immediately move, she added an urgent, “come now!”

Jamie snorted a good-natured huff through his nose at her rush, but took her hand and allowed her to try to haul him to his feet (really, he did most of the work himself, but wanted her to feel useful).

“It’s alright,” he laughed as she started dragging him by the hand toward the stairs, “I’m okay. It willna harm me tae miss a meal.”

She stopped and turned around, brows knit together so there were two wee creases between them that Jamie wanted to reach out and trace over with his thumb. But he resisted, and met her eyes instead.

“Your body is telling you to eat, so you’ll eat,” she said decisively, “come on.”

They went together to the kitchen, where Claire looked at him expectantly. He sat her down on a stool of the island and began to prepare some chicken. As he cooked, he narrated to Claire what he was doing and tried to explain the basics, but he had a feeling that most of it went over her head. And he certainly did not explain what the chicken had once been.

When it was finally done, Jamie sat down at his kitchen table and Claire wandered after to sit across from him.

As he ate, Claire propped her elbows on the tabletop and rested her chin on her hands. She watched with fascination, those whiskey eyes wide to take in his every move. He felt like a bit of a lab rate under a microscope, which was rather disconcerting. Ignoring good manners of not speaking with food in one’s mouth (she wouldn’t know the difference anyway), he broke the silence.

“Sorry fer makin’ ye wait while I eat,” he said simply to fill the space.

“Don’t be sorry,” she said in an upbeat tone, “I like watching you.”

“Och, aye? Why’s that?” he teased between a bite.

“You’re the most beautiful man I’ve ever seen. And I care about you,” she stated very simply.

Jamie nearly choked on his food. She was so straightforward in her statement. She likely didn’t even see the implications of saying that to him. No wonder he was heart-sick over her when she said such things and touched him without shame and climbed into his bed and looked at him like he was her everything and...

But it wasn’t her fault that she didn’t know any better.

He quickly gathered his wits and countered playfully, “am I no’ one of the only human men ye’ve ever seen?”

She chuckled a little. “Well, yes. But I just mean…” she struggled with herself over how to express the next part before saying, “of the men I’ve seen, but also of all the fair folk, I’ve never seen someone as perfect as you.”

If Jamie could have smacked himself without drawing attention, he would have delivered a solid one upside his head over the way his heart foolishly leapt at her words.

Despite the fact that he’d promised to himself not to act on his feelings for her, he couldn’t help but say, “Well, ye’re the bonniest lass I’ve ever laid eyes on, so I supposed we’re even.”

Claire smiled at that, and even eliciting that reaction from her gave him the forbidden urge to do everything in his power to make her smile like that for every moment of every day for the rest of his life. Jamie was quickly being carried off by his fancies and it was only getting harder and harder to resist the affection that welled up in him at every damn thing she did…

Jamie quickly went back to finishing his food. They passed the rest of his meal in silence, seemingly Claire was just as lost in her own thoughts as he was in his. Afterwards, he cleaned up quickly, and then began showing Claire around the house as promised.

He led her by the hand— her insistence, he justified, not his— around to each room. Her bedroom, of course, his (which she’d found no problem last night), the bathroom (where an awkward conversation about the function of a toilet had ensued), and Jamie’s study.

“What’s this?” Claire asked, pointing toward the laptop on his desk.

“That is… well, that is verra difficult to explain. Maybe save it for another day?”

He placed a hand on her lower back to steer her towards the door. A familiar zing raced through him as he touched her, and he felt absurdly like his hand was glued to the spot. He couldn’t seem to remove it. She was warm under his palm, and he could feel the curve of her flesh where it made a divot at her spine. His hand was so big and her back so small that his fingers spanned the entire area. As he led her downstairs again, his hand remained rooted to the spot.

No harm, he figured, as long as Claire didna mind. And it seemed that she enjoyed it just as much as she did any other touch.

She had seen most of the downstairs already. Still, he went through each room— the kitchen, dining room, living room, downstairs bathroom, even the entryway, and the hallway that led down to the basement. To end his tour, though, he was excited to show Claire the back garden.

He led her outside and proudly showed off the backside of his property. Off to the right was the vegetable patch, admittedly a little under loved, with various plants and herbs growing there.

Claire let out a squee of excitement and let go of his hand to run toward it like an energized child. She knelt down in the dirt to run her hands all over the plants, heedless of the mess she was making on his (hers now, really) sweatpants. (Not that Jamie particularly minded, he had more. He just enjoyed seeing her excited).

“They could use a bit more love,” she commented, shooting him a slightly admonishing look out of the corner of her eye, “but I am glad you have this bit of nature with you. Don’t you feel stuffed up being in there all the time?” She gave a wave of distaste in the general direction of the house.

“Jes’ remember, lass,” he chuckled, “inside is where it’s warm. Canna say the same for out here.”

As if on cue, a shudder ran down Claire’s body. She grimaced and wrapped her arms around herself. Gooseflesh was already popping up on her skin, and he kent well that she’d be a trembling mess if he didn’t get her inside soon.

“Come on, Sassenach. Let’s get ye out of the cold. Ye can come back out and show some love tae the plants once we get ye a proper coat.”

He reached down and took her elbow to help her up. She went willingly, pressing herself into Jamie’s side as he began to walk toward the house. In order to keep from tripping over her, he wrapped an arm around her shoulders and synced his steps to hers. It seemed that to be nestled against him was exactly what she’d wanted, because she gave him a smile as they walked inside together.

The sun was already going down since it was getting late, and Jamie realized that it was time to take some action. He hadn’t thought too far yet into the future, but what he did know was that there was no way in hell he was leaving Claire alone tomorrow while he went into work. However, perks of being the boss were that you didn’t always have to come in. He’d just have to call to let them know.

He didn’t want Claire to fash herself about what was going on with all that, so once they got inside, he asked her if she could entertain herself for a little bit while he took care of some things. She gave a nod (looking a little too eager at the prospect for his taste), and then he left her downstairs while he went up to his study.

Once safely inside with the door shut, he sat down at his desk and picked up his phone. He dialed Ian, his brother-in-law and business partner, and waited for his friend to pick up.

“Jamie!” came Ian’s enthusiastic voice, “I havna heard from ye since work on Friday and wondered if ye’d gone hikin’ and fallen down a hole.”

Jamie had to resist the urge to say “something like that,” but instead got straight to the point and answered with a simple, “I’ve been busy. Listen, Ian, somethin’ has come up, and I canna come intae work tomorrow.”

“Woah, woah, woah. Slow down. Ye havna missed a day in God-knows-how-long, and now ye expect to jes’ ‘not come in’ wi’ no word of explanation other than ‘somethin’s come up’? Spill, Jamie.”

He should have known better than to think Ian would accept it without pressing him for details. Truth be told, he hadn’t actually thought through what to tell him if he asked. He couldn’t very well say that he’d rescued a faerie from atop a magic hill and now he doesn’t want to leave her. Suppressing a sigh, he pressed his thumb and forefinger to the bridge of his nose.

“Aye, I havna missed a day in years, Ian. Which is exactly why I deserve a day off wi’out ye grillin’ me. Everythin’s fine. I jes’ need some time.”

He could hear Ian’s eye roll over the phone. “Alright, I’ll let ye off the hook for now, brother. But dinna think ye’re gettin’ away wi’ this. Especially when I tell Jenny about how strange ye’re bein’.”

Jamie groaned. “Dinna drag my sister into this. I’m jes’ askin’ fer a day off, no’ announcin’ I’m fleein’ the country.”

“All this could be avoided if ye’d only tell me what’s goin’ on wi’ ye.”

“Goodbye, Ian,” Jamie said pointedly.

“Alright, ye bugger. Goodbye. I’ll talk tae ye soon.”

With that, he hung up. And Jamie was free to head back to his Sassenach.

Not his, he corrected himself firmly.

He gave a cursory glance into the rooms on his way downstairs, but he didn’t really think she’d be in there. When he didn’t find her in the kitchen, he paused briefly to preheat the oven for something or other he could throw in. Claire wasn’t in the living room either, and he was starting to wonder what the devil she was getting up to. His heart jumped to his throat when his brain suddenly questioned whether she had left. But that was highly unlikely, she had nowhere to go after all, and he shoved that aside.

Suddenly, it came to him that he knew exactly where she was, and he headed there.

Just as expected, Claire was sitting cross-legged in front of the space heater, Adso curled on her lap, and both of their eyes were closed in relaxed bliss.

Jamie cleared his throat, and two sets of eyes— one gold and one green— flicked to him in startlement.

“Interrupting something?” he joked.

Claire smiled— both in greeting and triumph.

“I figured out how to turn it on.”

“I see that,” he said as he made his way toward her and sat down next to her a respectful distance away, “verra canny. I searched for ye for a bit. I shouldha known exactly where ye’d be.”

“Shower was a close second,” she admitted, “but I didn’t think I could manage that one alone.”

They were both quiet for a second. Everything was still save Claire’s rhythmic stroking of Adso’s fur.

“How are ye feelin’?” he asked after a time.

She tilted her head. “I’m fine. I haven’t felt any ill effects from the stones at all today,” she answered dismissively.

“I meant... with all this.” He raised a hand in an abortive circle, indicating the enormity of the situation.

Her hands stilled on Adso, and he wanted desperately to take them in his. But for once, she didn’t reach for him or offer touch, so he left the little bit of space between them undisturbed and swallowed down his disappointment.

“I am alright,” she said, but sounded hesitant, as if she was trying to convince herself as well, “it’s just a lot to take in. I’m scared, of course…” there was a slight trembling in her hands where they were buried in the cat’s fur, “but I’m glad you’re here.”

She ended by rewarding him with a blinding, albeit a little tremulous, smile. Her eyes crinkled adorably at the corners as she did, and that was how Jamie knew she’d be okay.

“I’m glad ye’re here too,” he found himself saying despite himself, “I’m glad I found ye on that hill. I— I’m aware that sounds strange, but I feel like our paths were meant to cross. I ken this is a terrible situation for ye, Sorcha,” he didn’t think he had the self-control to stop himself from reaching for her hand, so he shoved them both under his legs instead, “but I’m glad ye’re here wi’ me.”

“I’m glad to know you, too, Jamie,” she breathed, hands folded in her lap.

In that moment, she leaned in closer to him. Their faces were mere centimeters apart, lips so close that their breath mingled together. The air was thick and heavy with tension; his heartbeat pounded in his ears, a second delayed from the organ itself thundering inside his chest. Her eyes were locked with his, and for an instant, he thought for sure she wanted to kiss him. He drew even closer, ready to lean in and bridge the distance between them, anticipating the feeling of her soft mouth against his...

-But the spell was broken as suddenly as a bubble popping when Adso chose that exact moment to jump off Claire’s lap, making them both jerk backward away from each other.

With the magic of the moment gone, Jamie felt foolish and averted his eyes from her, his cheeks flushing. He must have been reading too far into the situation— his fantasies getting the better of him. She was a faerie. He was a human. And they sat in his basement in front of the space heater. He needed to keep himself better in line before he did something to betray her trust. He shook himself out of his daze and stood abruptly.

Claire stood as well, yawning slightly as she did.

“Why dinna ye get some rest, Sassenach?” he suggested.

She nodded. As he turned to head upstairs with her, she slipped her hand in his, and he smiled. At least he hadn’t scared her off.

Walking together as they always did, Jamie led her upstairs. He grabbed her a change of clothes, another one of his tee shirts and some sweats, and left them on the bed with her in the guest bedroom.

They both stood awkwardly in front of each other for a moment. He thought about telling her goodnight, but suddenly found he didn’t want to leave her just that second. Instead, he told her “I’ll let ye change,” and walked out, closing the door behind him.

A minute later, the door opened and Claire peeped out. Finding him still there, she smiled, and opened the door wider.

“Come now, I’ll tuck ye in, lass,” he said. He felt a little absurd saying it (perhaps this was crossing boundaries as well?) but Claire seemed glad. He held the blankets up for her, and she slid in underneath them.

“Goodnight, Claire,” he said softly as he settled the covers under her chin.

“Goodnight, Jamie,” she breathed, giving him a sleepy smile.

Then, before he could do something foolish like kiss her forehead, he turned and left the room.

If he was being honest with himself, what he did next could best be described as “fleeing.” He all but ran downstairs, and then shoveled some food in his mouth, careless about what it was. If he thought of her at that moment, he’d never stop— let alone sleep— so he shoved all thoughts of the faerie from his mind. Instead, he made up a rough shopping list while he ate, and once he was finished, mindlessly did the dishes.

He was dead tired, even though it wasn’t that late. His footsteps echoed off the walls as he trudged upstairs. He breezed through his nighttime routine, and soon he was sliding into bed.

His head had scarcely hit the pillow when the door opened. A curly head peeked through, followed immediately by the rest of Claire. Just as boldly as the previous night, she walked in and began to crawl into his bed.

But at the sight of her, Jamie had bolted upright. Before she could lay down next to him, he stopped her with a hand on her shoulder. She sat down beside him on the bed, turning big doe eyes on him, which he could make out clearly by the bulbs from the hall. The low lighting made them appear an even deeper shade of whiskey, and his breath hitched.

“What?” she asked.

“It isna right, lass...” he explained gently, but a little huskily. This was using every ounce of self-discipline he possessed… “Lads and lasses dinna sleep together in the same bed if they arena together— that means bonded for life—” he hastily elucidated his fumbling statement, “that’s why I gave ye yer own room.”

“But aren’t we bonded for life now?”

Her breathy question knocked all the air from his lungs.

And the way she was looking at him, so earnest...

He couldn’t breathe, let alone answer. He desperately wanted to cry at her sincere tone. Because there was nothing more in the entire world that he wanted to say than “of course we are.” But she didn’t understand what that meant.

So Jamie was unable to say anything at all.

The silence stretched on for a long second as he struggled inside himself. Claire was the one who finally broke it.

“Please, Jamie. I don’t want to be alone.”

Her pleading tone broke his resolve. Obliterated into tiny pieces. There was no way that he could ever even dream of saying no to her after that.

“Come here, mo nighean donn,” he breathed.

He opened his arms to her, and she instantly came to him, leaning in as he folded her against himself. Gently, he laid them both down together on the bed. He thought perhaps he would gather her spoon-fashion against him, but once they were horizontal, he found that she didn’t want to face away from him. She settled against his side, her head rested on his chest and arms snaking their way around his middle. So, he simply adjusted his own arms around her until he was comfortable and relaxed into the bed.

Jamie lay awake long after Claire’s breathing had evened out to the rhythm of sleep. Eyes wide open in the darkness, he held her tightly as his mind raced.

It would be a sleepless night for him.

Because he could no longer deny what it was he felt for her.

Love.

Self-sacrificing, all-encompassing, completely consuming love.

***

#All That Was Fair #update #claire x jamie #outlander fanfiction #claire/jamie #slow burn #fae!claire

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sweeethinny · 4 years

Text

The First Time of Three

I know I have a one shot of Ginny saying she’s pregnant for the first time, but I think this one is much better and I don’t know why I didn’t put it here

maybe I'll do two more chapters, where they find out about Albus and Lily, if you like it and want :) but if you don’t want to, maybe I’ll do it anyway :))))

part 2 | part 3 | ao3

Harry and Ginny had been married for three years - they lived together for five - so he knew very well when something was wrong. And at that moment, something was off the rails at the Potter house. It was a typical Friday, their apartment was the same way he turned when he left for work around five in the morning, and as a reward for going to train idiotic Aurors so early, Harry won the weekend off, as well as leaving long before nine. Ginny wasn't there yet, her training was over at seven, and the clock announced that had barely reached 6PM, which gave him an hour to get the house in order and prepare a special dinner. The apartment wasn't too big, they had trouble finding one that could put a fireplace and chimney without looking crazy - the neighbors used the electric ones, but the Flu still needed the fire - and there, away from the Muggle center, near an old library and a Dutch bakery, they succeeded. They lived on the top floor, didn't worry about breaking the Secrecy Act (it was an almost empty neighborhood) and the neighbors were lovely. The lady in front thought Teddy was simply one of the most behaved and kind boys she'll ever meet in her 70s, and she always tried to give him cookies and other when Harry's godson went to the godfather's house. And the downstairs neighbor, a man not much older than him, clearly had a thing for Ginny, but Harry didn't blame him, who wouldn't? Moreover, he had never done anything but seem shy as she passed, or gave them good morning and good night politely - when only Harry passed by, Edmund made a point of also saying hello to him, sometimes bringing up subject matter about Muggle football, and the man thought it was a way to hide his platonic love. The décor of the house was also not bad, had a bit of both in each room, and Ginny even found beautiful cutlery that he had bought to display on one of the kitchen shelves - he didn't even use all the knives, however. There was a picture of the two in some picture frames, memories of their travels together, gifts that ended up winning at the wedding.. Harry considered it a beautiful and cozy house. Obviously, when they were going to have a child, there might not be the safest place, Ginny always reminded him; It was very tall, and the windows were absurdly large, there were many corners, the stairs were slippery and short, and a child, even more witch, needed considerable space to live, mainly not to explode in magic in front of muggles. That's why they programmed to try to get pregnant in two years. And Harry was happy about it. After finally putting the house in order - with the help of magic - and putting dinner on fire, Harry noticed what was wrong in that whole situation. Living with Ginny for four years made him know her in ways he wouldn't, unless he saw her on a day-to-day life. The way she tends to tidy things up too much when she's sad, or how she makes everything messy when she's nervous and angry. Not silly things like the sofa blanket or the shoes on the door, but personal objects that are usually organized so that they are easily accessible. And it's when he finds her quidditch kit all messed up, that he knows something's wrong. Harry doesn't remember doing anything to cause anger, it wasn't the last week of the month, when everything got a little rough and she tended to get tearful and implying, and there wasn't a big game for the next two months. His brothers-in-law haven't been breaking scary news or anything, he'd spent the last few hours with Ron, knew if it was something like that, and Hermione didn't seem to be in trouble either, and that had left him on alert. He didn't know what to expect. There was a noise in their living room, feet stumbling against the carpet and a bunch of 'forbidden' words being exalted by his beloved wife, that way that would make a sailor ashamed. ‘’God, Merlim, Harry!. You're here --’’ It was the first thing she said as soon as she saw him, her brown eyes tinned and looking a little pale, still half-soiled from flu dust ‘’Robards..He let me go earlier, maybe he had a little pity in his heart. If he has one’’ Harry came up and kissed her on the lips, still a little tense ‘’Alright?’’ He stroked her freckled cheek, trying to find out where the problem was ‘’Yeah, I was just surprised’‘ Looking over her husband's shoulder, toward the kitchen that was separated by a workbench in the living room '’Making dinner, Mr. Potter? Uh, what did your wife do to deserve this?’’ He went back to the other environment, taking another look at the chicken ‘’She kissed me this morning, when I accidentally woke her up at 4:30, instead of simply kicking my balls’’ The redhead laughed behind him, still looking a little pale and too dodging, sitting at the table and dropping her suitcase anyway (Which was another sign of trouble) ‘’She's really adorable’’ Harry nodded, picking up the wine and the glasses ‘’Ah... I.. erm, I don't want’‘ ‘’It's Friday. Do you want a beer?’’ Ginny denied it again ‘‘I don't think I'm going to take anything like that’‘ She made a grimace ‘’Stomach upset?’’ She complained about some heartburn last week, maybe that's it, wasn't it? ‘’Something like.. Well, actually’’ Ginny didn't look at him at first, analyzed her nails and sanded their wedding ring on her finger, seeming to think. For a moment, Harry thought she'd leave him ‘’I'm pregnant’‘ Harry sat down, taking time to put the glasses and wine on the table rather than simply drop them on the floor ‘’Oh, no wine for you then’’ It was the dumbest thing, but he could only say that. He'd be... Father? And as if it finally came into his mind, he embraced her. Harry had a few moments of epiphany where he understood that it was all over and he could move on with his life normally; when he asked Ginny to marry him, and consequently when they married. And now this. Talking about the desire to be a father was like when he wanted to kiss her as a teenager, a distant dream with stones on the way; his work, that of Ginny.. ‘’And your games?’’ They parted, she seemed a little less frightened ‘’I've been estranged, it's dangerous and it goes against the rules. I didn't even train today, I just signed the papers’’ Her glowing brown eyes made him fall to his knees in front of her, intertwining her fingers in his ‘’It's not fair. I'll ask to be away too’’ Ginny laughed, kissing the knots from her husband's hand ‘’Don't do that, Harry. It's your career’‘ ‘’It's yours too!’’ Argh, he wanted to do something about it, she'd be carrying his offspring for nine months... ‘‘I'd take my chances too... the baby can't live without a father’’ Harry didn't notice the gravity of what he had spoken, until Ginny fixed the look above his head, the tears pinioning there ‘’Sorry, I didn't want to...’‘ ‘’.. I can barely find out That I'm pregnant, and I'm already a weeping woman’’ And as only your wife would, Ginny complained, turning her eyes and looking angry ‘’I don't want you to walk away, really, it won't make me happy to see you stay at home. I forbid you..Besides, it's only nine months, and I ... Gwenog said I can always come back after the baby is born. She said that I will not lose my place.’’ Harry swallowed the laugh, his heart beating furious in his chest ‘’We scheduled for two years from now, Harry...’‘ ‘’I know, but. we're still going to love him, and figure it out in organizing everything’‘ ‘’The windows.. heavens, they are so big and do not have the sinst protection. And the stairs!’’ The two remained silent, swallowing dry ‘’We're going to figure it out, Gin.. Are you happy?’‘ ‘’For Merlim's sake, Harry! Of course I'm.. When I saw the result... We were such irresponsible teenagers’’ So they laughed, because for some reason, it was funny to think that they would have to face the problems Molly went through ‘’Ron and I drove a car to Hogwarts! Twelve years old!’’ Ginny nodded, messing with her love's hair, wondering if the baby would come the same. ‘’You're going to be daddy’’ And without much control of his emotions, Harry felt his eyes pinioning in tears too. Father. He had survived to that point where he would become someone's father. If for Teddy he was already an irresponsible godfather most of the time, being a father... ‘’Since when do you know?’‘ ‘’This morning. After you left I felt that heartburn again and when I complained to Mrs. MacLean, she told me it could be pregnancy, so I looked for a healer who wasn't going to spread the seven winds, and.. I was pregnant. A month and a half. On your vacation’’ Of course, after spending time away from home, that week they spent at home, enjoying every room in the house, they would have to result in something. ‘’I love you’’ Harry kissed her again, this time with all his being ‘’I love you too. Promise me you'll continue to love me, even if I get tearful and ugly’’ The man laughed, trying to imagine a world where he didn't love her ‘’I promise’’ But instead of a kiss, he got a slap on the shoulder ‘’Can you imagine me getting ugly?!’’ The two laughed, again, while she passed her hand on her belly still straight ‘’We will be parents’’. ‘’Yes, Mom’’ Harry smiled, happier than ever, feeling almost his skin tear.

When that he would imagine feeling.. This? ‘’The stairs and the windows...’‘ ‘’.. We'll figure it out, Gin’’ Guaranteed, the heart galloping in the chest ‘’I promise’’ And then, as if to do it millions of times, kissed her belly. Once again, he would appreciate it to be alive

#ginny #ginny potter #harry X ginny #hinny #hinnyheadcanon #hinny fluff #Harry Potter #harry potter being dad #harry one shot #next gen harry potter #hinny being a parents #baby james sirius is on the way #James Sirius Potter

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jay-and-dean · 4 years

Text

Firefly Chapter 3 : Nine and Twelve years old

By Roonyxx and Jay-and-dean

Pairings : future Dean x reader ?

Summary : 40 years in Hell, but he didn’t spend all this time all alone, he had her.

Prepare to know what happened during those years Dean never talks about. To immerge yourself in Hell, only lit by the mysterious kid growing here…

And to see some of your favorite villains again : Crowley, Lilith, Lucifer… And also Sammy and Jack…

Serie Warnings : Hurt!Dean, Hell (torture, even if we tried to not give it graphic descriptions, creepy demons, blood, violence), swearing, angst, future fluff and smut.

This story is in both Reader’s POV and Dean’s POV

Wordcount : 4880

Note : This is our second collaboration. We can’t both edit the same post, so we decided we would post 1 chapter/2 each, like we did for Same.

We both worked as much on this story and it’s the result of both our brains but also both our hearts.

Please, if you want to show love for this story, don’t forget we were together in this.

This story will be around 10 chapters and we intend to edit it every Saturday if nothing delays it.

Firefly Chapter 1

Firefly Chapter 2

Jay’s Masterlist

Roonyxx Masterlist

—————————————————————————————

Reader’s pov

She sighed, putting the notebook down on the marble table.

“Once more” the demon ordered, weirdly scratching his chin, or rather the skin of a middle-aged lady that didn’t suit him. “I want you to know this by heart.”

“Why” Y/n frowned. “What is the point of all that ? You’re not even a real teacher ! You make me learn things that have no sense !”

A wicked expression appeared on the demon’s face, betraying him despite that ridiculous disguise.

“Oh I’m begging you little shit, disobey again. Punishing you is the only good part of this stupid job.”

“You’re not allowed to hurt me” she smiled with contempt. “Crowley would end you, and Lilith…”

The demon suddenly got up, grabbing her by the hair to throw her where the chains were. Immediately tying her like an animal in a circus. She tried to fight him, already regretting her words.

“I’m allowed to cage you.”

“No no no…” she instantly begged.

Last time he had done that, he left her chained for four days and no one showed up, he was the only one coming every day.

But today, she was going to know if Sammy told John about the college letter. After several bad days in a row (days when Dean couldn’t talk, wasn’t in his cell or she couldn’t get there), she couldn’t resolve to be locked again.

“Let me out !” she groaned. “Let me out or I SWEAR !”

But the demon kept smiling, seeing the now warded chains redden without breaking.

“Please…” she finally begged, falling on her knees. “Please, I hate those chains.”

“Prime numbers” the demon just stated coldly. “Until two thousand.”

“Two” she swallowed, looking down. “Three, five, seven, eleven, thirteen…”

She limped in the corridor, holding on to the bloody walls with tears in her eyes, and Mister Teddy Bear against her.

After making her start again ten times, the demon had thrown the keys at her with a satisfied smile before he left. But of course, he had given them all but one : the one holding her ankle ; just to laugh, thinking at her false hope.

And after tugging at it furiously for an hour or more, something had finally broke. Not in the chain... but in her ankle.

Dean’s cell wasn’t so far now, she would make it. And she would be brave and heal, just like he did, every single day. She turned left and limped to his cell, a cold sweat dripping down her back, and finally pushed the door with a light smile.

Her smile faded.

She was too late or too early, or Alastair just lost his temper again. Almost nothing was left of her friend. Blood and guts, pieces of bones....

For the first time in her life, she looked away, turned around on her purple foot and left a tear fall on her cheek. Hell was an unfair place and, for years, she had just accepted it for was it was, because she knew nothing else… But now her child innocence was slowly dying, and her hate growing.

She sat on the corner of the room, making herself as small as possible, her back on what was left of Dean, holding her teddy bear against her.

She could wait.

After a while, she could hear the little whimpers that left his mouth, a sign that he was back together.

She turned around to see him : He was panting, his clothes clung to his sweat drenched body. His eyes were still closed, not ready to face her yet, if he even knew she was there.

She took her injured ankle and heaved it up off the ground to turn completely to him, a hiss leaving her mouth. It wasn't totally healed yet, which made her frown. She was used to injuries only lasting a few minutes, an hour eventually… But this one was bad.

His eyes opened, he probably heard her.

“H-hey Firefly…” he sounded hoarse.

She wiped her tear and tried to give him her best smile, but she couldn’t. Hell was weighing down on her more and more every single day, she now saw how wrong it all was. How her friend suffered every single minute down here.

“Hey…” she said a little bitterly, as she waved the arm of Mister Teddy Bear.

His eyes raked over her, but he didn’t really seem to see her yet. They looked void of anything. He heaved himself up with his arms, his back now resting against the wall. He squeezed his eyes tightly shut and opens them again. His pupils adjusted to the darkness that surrounded them. He once again took her in, frowning when he saw her cradling her foot.

“Y-You’re hurt ?” He sat up more, his hair sticked to his sweaty forehead.

She shrugged, she would heal anyway. It’s nothing compared to what he is going through. For the first time in her short life, she thought of the act of torture, for real, not just like something that existed and filled her world, but like something absurdly cruel… Before she could really come to any conclusion, he spoke again, his voice worried like it was more important for her to be hurt, like for him, it was just the way it was… Was it ?

“Does it hurt ?” he questioned her.

She shook her head no. It did hurt, but she didn’t want to worry him, she just wanted to know more about Earth and try to take his mind off everything.

He let his head rest back against the wall.

“Where were we ?” He still had some trouble breathing, she could see it in the way his chest moved. “Oh yeah. The college letter, right ?”

She nodded, yes ! Was Sam gonna tell their dad or not ?

“Right…” he took a deep shaky breath, and she couldn’t say if it was from his body still being broken, or from that weight on his chest, he always seemed to have when he talked about his father. “So at first Sammy didn’t tell our dad, because well, he knew dad wouldn’t like it. He knew I didn’t like it.”

Of course he didn’t, she thought, he needed Sam. And being alone with his father really didn’t seem fun… For a second, she wondered what would life be with a brother or a sister. But she will never know, her own father made it very clear that her “accidental” life was enough bother.

“I didn’t want Sammy to leave” he continued. “He’s my baby brother. I gotta look out for him.”

He fell silent suddenly, apparently strangled by emotions, a tear rolled down his face. Her own stomach felt tight, the love Dean felt for his brother always moved her deeply.

She moved a little closer and put her teddy bear in his lap, she knew he felt lonely. It was part of the torture, the loneliness… She felt it too.

He wrapped his hand around the small, dirty bear with a tender smile, almost amused.

“Thank you.” He looked down at the bear as he continued. “He is the reason I’m here, you know. Sammy died and I… I couldn’t let that happen, so I made a deal. My life for his. I would do it again in a heartbeat. He deserves a happy life.”

And he didn’t ?

He was tortured every single day, just because he saved his baby brother ? That sounded… wrong.

She knew a few reasons people would give up their soul. Money, success, fame... She never understood why those reasons exactly, these things didn’t mean anything down here. Those souls, they never lasted long on the rack.

But sacrificing your own soul for Love, those were the good people, the ones that really didn’t deserve to be here. Dean was one of them.

She looked up at his face, his eyes were watching nothing in particular, but she could tell by the thousand emotions passing on his face, that he was lost in his memories.

“Sammy loves fireworks” his thumbs brushed over the blood stained tummy of the bear. She frowned at him.

“Do you know fireworks ?” He finally looked at her.

She crossed her legs, noticing her foot was healed, and shook her head no. It sounded a little dangerous to her.

“It’s a tube filled with chemicals and when you light it on fire, it shoots up in the sky and makes a colorful explosion. Many people use it to celebrate a holiday” he half smiled. “Fireworks can be blue or red, gold, green, any color you want.” He reached over to give her bear back. She took him and placed the broken toy back in her lap.

A smile came upon her face, that sounded like something she would like.

“I hope you can see it one day, well night, you can only see it at night, because light only shines in the dark. This one time I got a whole box of fireworks, i was like 19 maybe. Sammy was 15. We had some rough hunts, one after the other and I could see it was wearing down on Sam, and it was the 4th of July.”

She didn’t dare telling him she had no idea what it meant, she was used to know only a part of what he was talking about.

“Dad forbid it, but I disobeyed. I wanted to make him smile, he was so happy…” he smile faded. “I wonder how he is now. ”

She wanted to get him fireworks, she wanted to make him smile. No, she had to make him smile, if it was the last thing she did.

“Sorry, I was talking about the letter, I just… I just remembered night sky and...” he swallowed. “At least Sammy can still see night sky, stars. You never saw stars, Firefly, right ?”

She gave him a light smile, that seemed to make him curious.

“Did you ever see the sky ?”

“I…” she started but didn’t finished her sentence.

How dangerous was it to speak ? For him ? For her ? For Crowley and all the “people” she knew even if she hated them all. They had made her swear.

She looked around and turned her ankle to make sure it didn’t hurt and wasn’t broken anymore. Then got up on her feet.

It was the very first time since she knew Dean, that she saw him totally healed and, above all, not chained. His body just got whole again so it was free from the iron nightmares.

She took a deep breath, and thought hard for a second : What if Alastair came here and… What is the worst that could happen if she got caught breaking Hell’s number one rule ? They would torture him… They already did that the best they could. They would probably lock her up and never let her out…

She looked at him for a long time, searching his confused face.

“Are you okay, kid ?” he asked in a frown.

“Come” she finally answered, offering him her tiny hand.

Dean’s Pov

He stared at her palm, trying to process what she just said. He had never escaped this room, and the few times he got out of it, a demon just took him just next door, for unknown reason.

“You…” he said but she just kept offering her hand.

Dean was scared. He was terrified even. Years of constant torture and humiliation had made him extremely sensible to threats ; and right now, all he could think of was Alastair’s voice telling him he hadn’t done the worst he could do yet, that some places in here could make him say yes in a heartbeat, but that it was funnier this way.

He hesitated. Alastair would be furious if he found him out… But her eyes were shining, and her hand didn’t shake at all. Something so strong was radiating from her.

He got up, and just being on his feet felt weird now. No chains, no broken knees… His hand reached hers and she closed her surprisingly soft fingers around it, smiling so wide her pretty teeth showed.

The first three or four steps he took felt extremely weird, like his body remembered how to be active, move… There was something so alive about walking.

After balking a second before the door frame, he finally got out of his cell, led by the little girl in a fancy night blue dress, that seemed to fear nothing.

“Where are you…” he started.

But she turned to him, cutting him with panicked eyes and a finger on her lips. Then she shook her head “no”, making it clear that they had to be silent.

Dean was thorn. His eyes kept roaming everywhere, and yet he didn’t want to see anything. Hell was not just a word now for him, and the screams and begging was slowly triggering some serious panic attack deep inside of him.

His hand started to sweat.

The little girl stopped in her tracks, frowns and turned to him. Her big eyes searched his face, she obviously could feel how bad he was. She tugged at his arm making him bend a little on her, never letting go of his hand.

“You stay silent” she whispered close to his ear. “You never leave my side, I know the way…”

It somehow helped.

He had no idea who she was, but what was sure was that this tiny lovely ghost knew what she was doing.

They kept walking and he started focusing on her, and only her, forgetting the arms trying to reach them and this horrible smell of sulfur, forgetting the burning hot and the freezing cold…

The way she moved was totally amazing, fast like a rabbit then careful and slow like a hunting cat, stopping to hide behind a column before a demon even showed up, like she knew Hell’s clockwork perfectly. And it calmed Dean a little : watching her move was like watching a dance.

After long minutes avoiding many dangers, they entered a very long corridor with no doors but an incredible cathedral ceiling. Dean didn’t think he would see anything like this in Hell, anything somehow beautiful… But his Firefly was really like a beacon in the eternal night.

“No demon” he whispered.

“No…” her little voice answered, echoing on every tall walls. “This place is empty and useless, they say.”

“Useless…” he repeated, not really understanding.

At the end of the corridor, a huge door appeared, high like a house, thousands of symbols carved on it, and two huge marble gargoyles guarding it.

“They lost the key” she whispered even lower, guiding him to the door.

“What is on the other side ?” he asked, his breathing short with a mix of fear and hope.

She stopped, and suddenly let go of his hand to plunged her small fingers in the hole where the head of her teddy bear should be. She bit her lip in concentration, searching in the foam.

A little smile appeared on her face, and she started pulling at something.

A key.

She took it out cautiously, blowing on it a little to take off the foam dust stuck on the weird yet beautiful key. It was way too small for the giant door, and yet, she got on her tiptoes to reach the little lock he hadn’t notice.

The little girl looked behind her a last time before she made one of the huge parts of the carved door move open.

“Come” she said.

Carefully, he slipped inside the room and his breathing got stuck in his lungs while she slowly closed the door behind her.

The room had no ceiling. It was made of four black walls that Dean wasn’t even sure were there because of how dark it was. And above them… The sky.

The shadows of trees and and leafs in the night and between them : the stars. Exactly like he remembered it. It must have been a peaceful night of summer, because the temperature was perfect, no burning hot and no painful cold… Just a soft breeze was gently caressing his skin and he could have swore he could distinguish the thousand characteristic smells of nature, of a forest.

A tear rolled down his face, falling in his ear as his chin was up, eyes glued to the sky, the stars and the moon.

It was like the room was both in that forest and out of it, or under it, like his Firefly and him were in the bottom of a well, open on the universe.

He felt her hand wrap around his wrist and turned to her for a second. She was as fascinated as him, her big wet eyes reflecting the moon, and her hand shaking a little.

“What is this place ?” he asked, but she only shrugged, never looking away from the crescent moon. “That’s where you saw the sky, Firefly” he understood.

She nodded.

They stood here, close to each other, her small hands holding his wrist on her right and the key on the left. Tears rolling down his face, and shaking his chest in silent. Not another word was said.

After a moment, she slightly tugged at his arm, and his heart sank. How could he go back to torture now ? How cruel was it ? But he couldn’t let her get in trouble, and maybe… just maybe one day she could take him here again.

He wiped his tears and followed her without a word. The second she closed the door behind them, the harassing heat was back, and the dreadful smell was the only thing surrounding them again.

She closed the door behind her and hid the key back in her teddy bear, making sure it was on the bottom of it. Before she could start to walk back to the horror of his cell, he turned her small body to him, and sink on his knees to hold her.

“Thank you” he breathed out. “Thank you so much.”

Her skin was cool despite the suffocating heat, like it didn’t affect her at all, and no sweat was on her soft arms or back.

She hugged him back hesitantly, wrapping her hands around his neck, and he felt her nose shyly closer to his skin, like she needed to know how his skin smelled.

He let go before her, and get up on his feet, murmuring something about going back. She took his index finger and led him like she did on their way here.

Dean was lost in his thoughts. About life, about Earth, about the sky and the stars, memories of not appreciating it enough, of that time he told Cassie that just watching the sky was boring…

That’s why he didn’t feel her finger let go of him in an instant.

“Dean winchester !” a horrible demon voice groaned.

He looked up and started shaking. The beast was wearing it’s real form, twice taller than him, with horns coming out where his eyes should have been, and extremely long claws at the end of his too big fingers.

“How did you get out !” the demon half yelled.

Dean looked around : Nothing. No clue of his Firefly presence, or that she even was there once.

And while the beast was dragging him by the arm harshly, he wondered if it was possible that his mind was beginning to make things up...

Alastair was furious, even angrier than he ever was. Hitting his face again, he kept asking :

“How did you get OUT ?”

But Dean didn’t open his mouth, not once.

When that demon that had found him entered, holding the little girl by the neck, Dean had two really strong contrary feelings at once : The infinite joy of now being sure he didn’t dreamed that, and the devastating pain of seeing her struggling against that giant monster.

“Boss, we found her hiding. You think she might have helped him ?” the demon said, making the walls tremble.

“Oh yes she might, I’m pretty sure she did…” his torturer answered with a wicked smile.

Y/n’s pov

The demon dropped her to the floor of the cell.

“Oh girlie, you are in so much trouble now.”

She saw Dean cowered against the wall, already bruised and bleeding. Arms wrapped around his body to protect himself.

He tsked his lips in a way only he could, making her shiver, and hold on to her broken toy.

“Leaving your room AND taking my pet,” an eerie grin showed his yellow teeth, “You’re in for it now.” He motioned with his two fingers to the demon to handle Dean.

She couldn’t let that happen, it was her fault, Dean shouldn’t pay the price for her disobedience. She ran to stand in front of Dean.

“No.” She said, looking up at the monster, challenging him.

He laughed at her and she clenched her little fists and planted her feet. She knew she couldn’t stop the torture, but right now, she couldn’t let it happen. The smell of his neck still clear in her mind, the sight of his happy tears falling on his face…

“You’re gonna stop me, child ?” he bent, to face her, his long sharp teeth inching towards her face.

She held her head high, looking him in his black eyes with rage and took a step forward, the demon moving backwards. Her breathing got faster and she felt her anger burn her skin.

He looked down at his feet apparently surprised that with every step she took, he moved more backwards, his long nails scraping over the floor, leaving deep crescents behind. He reached his arms towards her but he couldn’t reach her, like there was an invisible wall between them.

Waves and waves of fury pulsated through her, making her feel tall for once, making her feel strong…

“I-Impossible” he gasped.

Her grin grew wider, her hair started floating around her again.

But it didn’t last...

A immense power violently slammed her back into the wall as Alastair stepped forward. She fought back the best she could but he didn’t even break a sweat.

“You’ll need a whole lot more juice to over power me, girlie.”

He stood straight before her. His power crushing her, her breath cut short. His grin made her feel sick as his eyes travelled over her with contempt.

Her eyes widened when he grabbed her bear clutched tight in her hand from her.

“NO !” she yelled.

Her arms fought his power, reaching out for him, but with the flick of his wrist she was pinned against the wall once again. She was fighting him with everything she got. Eyes a flare, vibrating from the power inside of her.

She could see Dean in the corner of her eye, he looked… scared. Was it of her ?

“You disobey, you pay.” Alastair said as he held Mister Teddy Bear, his eyes turning white as he set the bear on fire.

“N-No…” tears rolled down her face.

Her stuffed friend was the only thing that fought her loneliness, her only true friend, they had been through so much together.

As she started sobbing, seeing the quick fire of Hell turning Mister Teddy Bear to ashes in seconds, she felt her heart sink in her stomach. Her nights would be so much lonelier now with no one to hold. But her days too, everything would be empty.

The light in her eyes died down as did the flame. Mister Teddy Bear, reduced to a pathetic heap of dust…

“Stop crying, you’re nine years old, that’s too old to have a toy.”

Alistair patted his hands together to get rid of the black ash. But in his hands was not only ash. Shining on the floor, a little reddened by the flame : The key. His eyes widened.

“Where did you get this?!” His hand grabbed her by the throat, his power pushed down on her, making the wall behind her crack under it’s force. “WHERE ?”

“L-let her go” Dean coughed, his breathing short, but Alastair ignored him, and the other demon stepped on his chest.

She kept her mouth shut. She had snatched it off of Crowley one day when he had pissed her off, hoping it was a key to one of her chains. But it didn’t fit…

It looked different from a normal key. It was gold, a circle with a hook on top of it and three long teeth that looked it would never fit in any lock. But if Crowley kept it, it had to be important. So she tried every lock of Hell.

“You STUPID girl, you just earned yourself an eternity of chains and horror” he sneered at her.

“It already is my life” her tears had stopped by now.

This key seemed like a big deal, Alistair was not one to lose his temper so easily. He put it in his pocket. Turned his head toward the beast crushing Dean’s ribs with his weight.

“Take Dean to my room, it will be one Hell of a session” he winked towards the bloody man struggling to breathe, toying with his prey, as the demon dragged him out.

Y/n didn’t wave this time, her eyes fixed on the pile of ash on the floor.

“And you” he fisted her hair, making her look up at him. “Let’s give you a taste of real Hell.”

___________________________

She walked carefully in the corridor, holding her long, puffed-out muslin dress up to keep it away from the blood and dirt.

The cold air was biting her wide cleavage, upper back and neck because her hair was held in that tight bun. She could feel the freezing gold at her wrists and neck, and hanging from her hair. Her shoes were tight and high, she hated them.

Her steps resonated against the stone walls, but she knew no demon would be around.

She needed to see him, just once, since they had played with her like a doll since this morning, and she didn’t have a second for herself.

When she pushed the door, he was held by chains again, but whole, curled up in the corner, his clothes seemed to have been mostly burned, and a heavy smell of smoke was making the air barely breathable.

“Dean” she said.

He looked up and his face lit up, his widened eyes reflecting her fancy appearance.

“You look like a princess” he groaned with a voice still croaky.

“You won’t see Alastair tonight” she assured him.

“Is there a party ?” he scoffed, visibly bitter like he somedays were. “Have fun.”

“No one will visit tonight Dean” she repeated again, not knowing what she could add to that.

Then she turned around in a light sigh. He had every reason in the world to be that bitter, there was nothing more to say. But the second she was going to pass the door, he spoke again :

“Don’t let them hurt you, Firefly. You fight back if they touch you…” he cleared his throat. “You look amazing.”

She entered the ballroom with that indifferent pout on her face she kept there all the time lately. Her sad feature hidden behind that disillusioned mask she wore every single day.

The room looked like the throne room of a rich castle, and all the demons were hiding their vileness in human bodies, dressed fancy, with smiles on their faces. But they didn’t fooled her.

They stepped aside to let her enter, turning toward her in whispers. She walked in, her back straight, her hate making her back shiver under the noble lace.

“There she is” a voice came from the crowd.

And the first demon of all, in the body of a tall blond lady appeared, she was the only one wearing a dress more sophisticated than her own.

“Lilith” Y/n curtsied slightly, clenching her jaw.

The demon took her face brutally in her hand to look at it with contempt and nodded slightly.

“Maybe you’re right, Crowley” she admitted, letting go of her face and turning her back on her. “Maybe your accidental offspring could be a bride or a toy for our Lord when he rises.” she turned to Y/n again to look one last time from head to toe, and muttered low. “But I’m glad I won’t be here to see that.”

When Y/n turned to walk far from that evil shrew, she came face to face with Alastair, and goosebumped appeared on her skin.

“Happy twelfth birthday, Girly” he smiled and she swallowed the angry lump in the throat.

“Y/n !” Crowley called, probably trying to get her away from his own enemies like he always did, not to protect her, but to avoid the humiliation of seeing the Ace in his hand being despised by anyone stronger than him.

She turned to him, but felt Alastair’s hand grasp her wrist harshly. He bent next to her ear and she could smell his fetid breath.

“I hope you die.”

Next Chapter on @roonyxx‘s blog

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polar-stars · 3 years

Note

☕️ + megumi and hojo?

(Give me a ☕️ + a character/ship and I’ll ramble off whatever thoughts and opinion I have about it)

Oho, interesting! Thanks for the ask!

Megumi Tadokoro

Megumi is a character I love and adore. She has given me no choice in that matter, lol. I cannot possibly dislike a character who portrays such a huge amount of real, genuine kindness. Adding to that, she's incredibly easy to relate to (I know that I am not the only one who does).

In my opinion Megumi has had some of the very best moments in all of Shokugeki, especially in it's earlier parts. The Shokugeki against Shinomiya in Trainings Camp is still my favorite battle in the whole manga after all. Her performance in the Autumn Election Premlins was also really satisfying and sweet to see. (Monkfish Preperation Scene Supremacy)

Tsukuda really did great on making Megumi a character that I really want to see succeed.....But that is where the problem comes in.

The problem is that Tsukuda struggles with the Show, Don't Tell-Rule from Central Arc onwards.

Pre-Central, Megumi's character development was solid in my opinion. It was believable and not too fast-paced. But once focus was shifted to Azami-Drama, Megumi and other characters had to take a little step back from the action. And Megumi's character arc started to stagnate.

Through Training Arc. Autumn Elections and Stagiares, Megumi had visibly gained some more confidence in herself and her stage fright problem from the beginning of the series was ceasing. However there was something missing: pay-off. Her character arc lacks proper pay-off.

You see, throughout all of Central Arc Megumi has not won any single fight on-screen. She was given one victory against Shigemichi Kumai but not even second of that fight was actually shown to the reader. But when it's time for a more detailed fight against Momo, she looses.

In her fight against Momo, the judges do find the time to point out tho that Megumi might hasn't been able to beat Momo however there is quote unquote ✨potential✨.

Thing is that the "potential"-thing has been getting old at that point. It felt very reminiscent to Megumi's fight against Ryo back in the Autumn Elections. Ryo was able to win, however it was made clear through multiple dialogue-lines that Megumi did give him a good fight, defying the expectations the audience had from her. So basically that fight was like: Yes, she lost now. But she is on the right path. There is a lot of potential.

The issue is that time has progressed ever since the AE and it was about time for us, the readers, to see that potential unfold.

But we never got that.

We get a lot, a lot of talking about Megumi's potential throughout Central Arc but never an actual showcase of it. And it does not get much better with BLUE Arc either (I mean, what do you expect from that trainwreck of an arc anyway?)

First off, despite all of her potential and her participation in the Regiment de Cuisine & the retaking of Totsuki as a whole Megumi somehow ends up with the lowest seat in the Neo-Elite 10??? And I'm just: Why??? Why is she the only explicitly ranked below Eizan & Nene (who got a massive downgrade) with everyone else far ahead? (Tho the Neo-Elite 10 Ranking as a whole is one confusing mess and I should probably stop trying to bring sense into it if I do not want to go insane, lol.)

The infamous Hot Spring Fight against a Noir is where we finally see Megumi shine a little on-screen (at least in the manga). And well....I enjoyed seeing that but...

It is still not the proper pay-off she deserves, I'm sorry. Because ultimately that Noir-Guy is some random One-Off we never saw again. And that's a problem.

This character had no time establishing himself to us. We barely know him.

To put it into perspective: Satoshi Isshiki beating Julio Shiratsu in the RdC did not feel like a very impressive thing. Because we have only come to know Julio in that one fight and had absolutely no judgement on how powerful he may be (not to mention, that he was mostly placed in a very ridiculous light). It would have been a lot more impressive to the reader had Satoshi won his later fight against Eishi Tsukasa, because Eishi is a character who we have spent a lot more time with and who has repeatedly been portrayed as absurdly skillful and an actual threat.

See what I mean? As much as I loved seeing Megumi being an absolute badass in that Hot Spring Saga...It was not the satisfying pay-off I want for her.

The few victories she gets are always against random One-Offs while her fights against the more important characters are always a loss for her. Case in point: BLUE. She gets anOTHER off-screened match against some Noir in Chinese clothes, whose name I won't bother looking up if he even has one, where all characters talk about how talented she is but once it's time for her to go up against big bad bitch Asahi she looses. And that sucks.

Not to forget the fact that Megumi always gets strung along to every big event but we never get much justification for her participation (other than the obvious Meta-Reason that she's a main character).

Think about it, her and Takumi got extremely lucky in Train Arc by having Rindou giving them a free pass just for the lulz, while everyone else got expelled. Then a good number of messy chapters later, Megumi and Takumi get invited into BLUE without even a shred of reasoning behind it. Why them? How random is it to invite the 1st, 7th and 10th seat but no one else? Meanwhile when BLUE Arc was first mentioned in the manga they told Jouichiro that it's actually extremely rare for a student in that age to get into this tournament. And Jouichiro was a 3rd year back then, what are those three 2nd Years doing there??

The anime at least addressed that by having Totsuki's students fight for the participation (I appreciated that, if only the episode that covers it wasn't so lazily done)

I'd have much less of an issue with that if they actually gave Megumi something to work with in that arc. But really in RDC and even more so in BLUE, she's mostly just there I feel. She barely really impacts the story meaningfully in both of these arcs, I feel.

And it's one big shame.

As I said, I love Megumi and Tsukuda set her up as someone who I wanted to see succeed and defy expectations. Her journey up till Central Arc was a lot of fun and very compelling but then it just...came to a halt. And her arc never got any real, proper closure I feel. She was instead pushed more and more into the background and she just did not deserve that, man.

Never forget that she is one of the mains after all and she should have been treated as one.

damn I did not think this would get this long ahhdhdf

Miyoko Hojo

When realising that Miyoko's speciality is Chinese cooking, I was super excited for her! I really love Chinese food and I've been waiting for it to be covered in Shokugeki up till that point.

I like Miyoko quite a lot, she's definitely one of my faves from the...well, I don't think "secondary" cuts it...the tertiary cast. Unfortunately we've got to see so painfully little of her.

I like that Megumi, in the most Megumi-ways, made her learn a lesson like "Feminism =/= You can not possibly get along with a man. Ever.", but it was also interesting to see acknowledgement of the inequality of men and women within the culinary business through Miyoko.

Miyoko's friendship with Megumi is something I adore and I would have very much liked more of it please. I enjoy the thought of Miyoko, this tough, unapproachable woman, having her face soften whenever this pure, little angel approaches her. Also 100% sure Miyoko would drop-kick whoever gives Megumi a funny look.

I also would have liked to see Miyoko interact more with Kuga, because I imagine it could have been a lot of fun. From the one, tiny interaction they've had I feel that Terunori actually respects Miyoko quite a bit. Which I think is interesting, because Terunori otherwise seems to enjoy bitching at people.

Honestly? If you ask me??? Miyoko should have been in the Regiment de Cuisine.

I'll never get over how she's shown in the audience, alongside Nao, smiling when the rebels are about to snatch victory. Like ahdhFJG, excuse me Ma'am what business do you have just watching??? You can not tell me that from what we've seen about Miyoko that she would not be up to kick Azami's ass out of Totsuki. I generally think it's stupid for the Rebels to go up against the Elites in a number even to them.

Azami. Explicitly told you guys. That you can bring more than that.

You were up against the Elite 10 Council.

YOU SHOULD HAVE ASKED ANYONE YOU CAN GET!

YOU SHOULD HAVE ASKED MIYOKO

(and Nao as well tbh)

(The Regiment de Cusine could have been a lot better to buy for me if the Rebels had shown up with more participants tbh but that's a different subject)

Anyways, as I said I wish we could have seen a lot more of Miyoko. But it just wasn't meant ot be :( I mean, when characters like Alice and Akira get pushed to the side, what chances does the tertiary cast have?

I'm at least glad that she is sort-off shown being the new president of the Chinese RS in Les Dessert 1? I like that for her.

But yes, ultimately...another criminally underused character. I look forward to write her being a cool mom in my fanfic tho.

#well #that was rather lengthy hdhfhf #Rambly Asks #Shokugeki no Soma #Megumi Tadokoro #Miyoko Hojo

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kimberly-spirits13 · 4 years

Text

Right Hand Man (Loyal to the End) Pt. 5

Pairing: Damian Wayne x reader

Synopsis: You were like Talia’s daughter. The only thing was that you weren’t and instead, you had grown up in the foster care system and at a young age were taken by and personally trained by Talia. Along the way, you meet Damian and the two of you start to work side by side and eventually, after some time become closer and closer. However, when disaster in the league strikes, you face balancing an old, forgotten life as a normal child and the burden of right hand to the demon heir.

Note: I know that this is long and that there are a good number of time skips, but I didn’t want to make this into a series and just wanted it as a long fic because .... well because I can lol

Also, I didn’t want to have Damian so young in this so just go with it. I’m thinking maybe early 15 or almost 16 at the most. Idk I just don’t like writing for young Dami.

Warnings: None

Word Count: 4812

Masterlist for Series

You woke without an alarm with the 4am birds. It was a sound that you weren’t used to. Typically, you’d head down to one of the indoor training rooms and join Damian. It wasn’t unusual for one of you to be a few moments late but after that you’d get breakfast. This time though, you didn’t want to see Damian. You went instead out to the gardens. Instead of really working out or training, you decided that the best thing to do was just sit and meditate.

Walking down the hallway some the opposite way of where you were going, you saw that Damian’s door was open. Wanting, to avoid him, you went out one of the side doors. He would be in the cave training for the most of what you could tell. You walked outside greeted by the morning air. It was cool outside and the birds had stopped chirping for the most part. You walked towards the sounds of the fountains along the cobblestone path. The trees and shrubs were cut perfectly in different shapes and animals in some areas. You smiled walking through it all, the moon being the only light.

Once at the fountain, you sat down. There wasn’t really anything you were focusing on. Everything just swirled around in your mind. With no indication or signs on what was going to happen, the only thing you felt like you could do was keep on the tightrope that you had been thrown onto. The start of it all was a blurry and foggy mess. The end however, was even worse. You had no idea where this new life was going to take you or Damian. It was easier when you had an idea. That didn’t make it better.

You were consumed in your thoughts for the longest time before getting up and walking around more. This was the longest you’d been alone to wander freely like this since God knows when. It was nice but was eventually interrupted. You turned upon sensing that someone was there. Carefully, you reached for your dagger but didn’t pull it out yet.

“Miss Y/N, breakfast has been prepared. Miss. Gordon will be here soon to take you to the shopping mall.” Alfred said, “I hope you are not about to pull a weapon on me. I will warn you, I don’t fancy being attacked.”

“N-no. It’s just...” You slacked a bit.

“Training. I understand.” Alfred gave you a reassuring look, “You seem to be adjusting better than Master Damian even on your first day here.”

“That’s because I wasn’t born in the league. This is just like some distant home to me. I was in the foster care system until Talia got me.” “I also got to go on more missions outside of the compound.” You informed the older man.

“I see.” He sighed, “Well, I hope that you will eventually find some sort of comfort here.”

“Thank you.”

It was strange hearing words of good wishes. Not that you hadn’t heard them before, it was just that it was rare and typically in a secret kind of code for lack of a better term. No one dared give well wishes directly, only in little ways. You and Damian did that the most out of anyone you’d ever met. It was just normal in that sense.

The walk back inside was quiet. Alfred informed you of a few other details that you’d need during your stay. Most had to do with the boys. He said that they would be behaved but that they can get a bit... rowdy. It was just in their nature. You understood and told yourself to expect it. Walking inside you prepared for the worst. What you did get though was a very sleep deprived looking teenage boy, a tall man who was almost zombified, you knew that was Bruce, a very chirpy young adult male with bright blue eyes, and a tall red headed girl rolling her eyes at the younger man.

“Master Dick, Master Tim, Miss. Gordon, this is Miss Y/N. She came with Damian last night and will be staying in the manor now.” Alfred said introducing you.

Tim looked up, “Hi Y/N.” He then proceeded to down his cup of coffee.

“Um, hello.” You replied. It was unusual to see someone like that but you also related to his actions deeply. You thought it was kind of funny anyways.

“Hey, I’m Dick. So, did you get here last night?” He asked smiling and said the last part quietly, “You’ll have to excuse Timmy over there, he’s a bit tired from a case he’s working on. Just wait, he’ll eventually fall asleep somewhere for a day.”

“Yes.” You shrugged, “And I understand where Drake is coming from.”

That made Dick chuckle, “You seem to be less temperamental than Damian.”

Barbra hit him with her elbow some, “Really Dick?” She looked at you, “Sorry about him, he gets excited about new people.”

“I am only the temperamental type when I need to be. Other than that, I find it partially unwise to try and scare everyone with anger. Silence works just as well for me.” You sat down at the table with breakfast.

The meal looked like something out of heaven. It smelled fresh and looked like whoever prepared it had been doing this for a while. You took the first bite, and after that you devoured the entire meal. You then remembered that Barbra was taking you shopping and started worrying about what was going to happen.

“So, Y/N.” She said seeing you drift off into your own thoughts, “I was thinking that it might be best if we go to the smaller shopping center first. That way you might not feel so uncomfortable there. They’ve got some things I think you might like.”

“That sounds suitable.” You answered, “Um, I have seen the more recent fashions from previous missions, however, I’m hoping that there are still stores that carry items of reasonable value instead of ... absurdly over the top garments.” “Avant-garde if you will.”

“Oh yes, you’ll have plenty of options.” She laughed some at the concerned look on your face, “But I agree that some people do wear some very over the top things.”

You nodded in an understanding way noting her tone. In these cases, she probably means that the clothes are normal and what you have seen is just avant-garde clothing worn by the rich to turn heads. While you had walked by the mall countless numbers of times on missions, and even inside, there was nothing that really caught your interest. Besides, missions were never for shopping you had the job of staying on task at all times.

“Oh, and I invited Steph but she had previous arrangements so it will just be the two of us today.” Barbra said.

“Very well.”

_______________________________________________________________________

You and Barbra made your way inside of the mall. It was deemed best if she was the one to drive everywhere since Alfred and the limo would draw unwanted attention. Bruce did still have to figure out how he was going to break yours and Damian’s arrival to the press. He’d probably just pull another adoption stunt in your mind. It wasn’t rare and at this point, the media just accepted that he has an obsession with it.

The two of you made it through the parking lot and into the building, you on high alert the entire time. “You’re tense.” Barbra commented, “I can practically feel the tension coming off of you.”

“Unfamiliar settings may lead to all too familiar circumstances and fallouts. I find it most wise to keep on guard in a place like this. It’s open to any assortments of attacks. With the right variables, a disaster could strike at any given moment.” You replied back looking around overwhelmed at the options of stores not noticing Barbra giving an understanding yet concerned look, “I uh- where do we start?”

“I have some suggestions. Although, I think the first store that we should try is something with a bit of variety so that you might be able to find something that you like.” She said.

“I think I might have something in mind. Maybe something a bit dark, classical, refined, but also something that might be able to be turned down to a more casual piece.” You listed some features you were interested in with an almost inquisitive look only to meet Barbra’s eyes which portrayed an almost warm and kind look.

“I think I know just the place.”

_______________________________________________________________________

You and Barbra walked around the shopping mall sipping on coffee from the Starbucks and eating some of the pastries.

“These are not too bad.” You commented speaking about the treats, “I must admit, I have never had anything quite like this before.” “It tastes...”

“Commercial?” Barbra asked laughing some making you shrug in agreement, “There are better places we might go some time. I just figured this would be suitable for the time being.”

“Well the decision wasn’t ill placed.”

“Oh, we should try this store up here. Steph and I are always finding some good items here.” She commented leading you into another store.

At this point you had almost lost track of everywhere you’d been. It was like navigating a more organized jungle. This time however, the animals were people and there was no North Star nor moss to guide your way.

“You were talking about more classic. This place has some clothes I think you might really like.”

Walking in, there were rows of all sorts of clothes including fitted and paper bag pants, pencil skirts, turtle necks in some places, tweed jackets, blazers, sweatshirts, hoodies, and almost anything you could have desired. You gawked at the sight and started wandering off on your own to explore the vast new area you had found. Slowly, you took what you thought looked best and gained an eventual plethora of clothing articles before heading off into the dressing room with Barbra in close pursuit.

“What do you think about this?” You asked stepping out in an outfit you had put together from the clothes you’d picked.

“I like it. I like it a lot. I do think though, that we might be able to add some jewelry to spice it up a bit.” She replied, “Change back and then we can go jewelry hunting.”

_______________________________________________________________________

Once outside of the dressing room, you and Barbra checked out and went into the jewelry store that was down the hall and across the walk way on the second floor which you were already on. You headed inside and were immediately drawn to some plated jewelry. It was simple and elegant, just what you were looking for.

“These look nice.” You gestured to some, your own ring on your finger flashing some in the light. It was an ever so slightly worn gold ring that you wore on your right ring finger. On it had intricate braided designs and a symbol that represented an eternal bond or promise.

“I didn’t notice you had a ring already, it’s very beautiful. You were allowed to keep it?” Barbra questioned pointing it out.

“Thank you. But no, actually, I’ve had this ring, and smaller versions of this ring as I grew up. They were given to Damian and I when we were young. It is a symbol of promise. I’m his right hand, I go where he goes, and stay where he stays. Think of it as a contract of sorts, or maybe even a wedding ring. It’s just a daily reminder of my place.” You explained.

“Interesting. Was there anything you did keep or was this is?” She asked.

“I um.” You fiddled with something around your neck, “A necklace from my parents. It’s a moon and stars, the only thing I have from before the league really. The piece was the only thing I could keep.”

She didn’t ask any more questions, instead opting for the task of browsing for jewelry. You picked out a few pieces, some with jewels and others just plated and empty. Barbra picked up a black watch to throw into the mix saying that it goes well with everything. You didn’t really doubt her. There was no reason to thus far. Once you left the store though, the two of you started to notice shopping’s effects and how the pastries and coffee had worn off.

“I’d say we try the restaurant down the block. It’s got some really great options and I think you might really like the burgers there.”

“It sounds like a decent plan.”

_______________________________________________________________________

You and Barbra walked inside of the place. Inside there were booths and tables along with a bar and waiting area. It was the run of the mill nicer business which thankfully, quickly got you seated. With drinks and even food ordered, there was a silence. It was kind of uncomfortable and awkward, you weren’t the greatest with social skills and starting conversations with new people. Damian wasn’t either which made it so easy to be around him. Well, at least when you weren’t fighting. You sighed thinking about it.

“You’ve got that look on your face.” Barbra noted making you snap out of your thoughts.

“Look?”

“I know that you have just arrived and have much on your mind, however, you have that “boy issue” look plastered all over your face.” “Did something happen between you and Damian?”

You weighed your options. Typically, these things worked themselves out. Damian wouldn’t be able to be rid of you unless he killed you and that would breach one of the highest codes of honor in the league. Typically though, these arguments were stupid or at least simpler like too many missions or being hurt on the field. This time, his grandfather had died as a result.

You huffed some and took a deep breath, “Damian and I were in an argument last night because of my mission. I have been assigned since day one a location and route that would take him to Gotham in case something like what did happen, happened. For years, I’ve trained for this like some prepare for Armageddon. However, Ra’s al Ghul died in the battle. He blames himself mostly but also claims I have some part in it. Although, I think he might have changed that outlook since the fight last night.”

Barbra looked shocked at what you told her, “Ra’s al Ghul is dead?”

“Correct.” You answered grimly, “Heavy arrow fire took him.” “And, you don’t have to give your condolences, I know of what has happened at his hands and how that is viewed.”

She nodded, “So you and Damian have just been avoiding each other all morning hoping that this all blows over?”

“Precisely.” You sighed, “I for one know that this might never be worked out if there isn’t a final confrontation on the matter at hand however, I’m not quite sure how to approach that.”

“Well from what I’ve seen, it might be best to just be straight forward with him. Letting this drag on and on isn’t going to solve anything whatsoever.”

“I would have to agree with you Gordon. You have my appreciation.”

“It’s no problem.” She smiled some.

“I do have one concern and the only reason I’m mentioning it is because I trust my instincts and they tell me you can be trusted.” You said.

“That is?”

“How, how are we supposed to adjust to a different culture, life, policies, and circumstances in a matter of a few weeks. I mean I assume that Bruce will introduce us to the public and then with the blink of an eye, we’ll be out in public being swarmed by the media. I worry about Damian’s more impulsive and temperamental behavior with the newer surroundings and how he will cope. I think it will be difficult for the both of us to start abiding to certain ... rules if you know what I mean.”

Barbra didn’t comment for a few seconds and instead took what you were saying all in.

“I cannot say that I understand your position. I can say though, that I think that you of all people are more than capable of doing this. From what I have seen, you know what is best for the two of you and will stick to those beliefs, you’ve got the mindset of a fighter and strategist. Whether it be training or even turning away from some of it, I think you will find a way to adjust. And I know that it’s hard to trust people at first. That part I understand, however if you need anything, Alfred and I are always there.” She explained carefully almost washing away all of your fears.

“Thank you.”

_______________________________________________________________________

You and Barbra were back at the manor now. Alfred had taken your new clothes for cleaning and you had your new room decorations and jewelry to put into place. You didn’t get many things seeing as the room already decently matched what you felt most comfortable with, however you were not going to protest against a few touches of your own.

Once upstairs, you closed the door and got your new record player set up. Picking one that looked the most suitable and got to work making things as you pleased. You hadn’t noticed how much the time had passed before there was a knock at your door. You turned the music off and opened it to reveal Alfred with an assortment of clothes on hangers and another stack of freshly pressed and folded clothes.

“I have your new garments ready to be put away.” He informed you.

“Thank you, I can put them away myself.”

“It is no problem Miss. L/N.” He handed you the clothes, “Dinner shall be ready at 6pm sharp.”

“I understand.”

Once he had left, you closed the door only and started putting items away only for another knock to interrupt you once more.

“Yes?” You opened the door again, “Oh... hello demon.”

“General- L/N, I wanted to talk to you about last night.” He said almost sheepishly.

“Very well. You may enter.” You closed the door behind him, not wanting anyone else to hear the conversation.

“I must apologize, my actions of last night were impulsive and guided by misjudgment from the events that have taken place prior to now.” Damian sat at your bed as you were still putting away clothes in the closet, “I stepped out of my place questioning your choices because I did not know under the circumstances they were made.” “You did nothing wrong.”

“I accept your apology Damian.” You said making him almost sigh in relief, “I understand where the outburst came from.” “As cheesy as it might sound, I have thought over what happened last night.” You went and sat down at the end of the bed and looked him in the eyes, “The only thing we can really do now is stick together. We have no one else here that knows about where we came from and the worst choice we can make for ourselves in splitting apart. Especially over a recent quarrel or smaller dispute.”

“I agree.”

There was a small passing of silence, “Just promise me that you will try everything you can to make adjusting as easy as it can be on yourself. It will be a challenge, but you don’t have to do it alone. We’re both in the same boat on this one Damian.”

“I promise, just as you have done so many other times before.”

There was a small ringing from the phone you had gotten at the mall.

“That means it is time for dinner.” You got up and turned off the alarm quickly before walking towards the door, “After supper I expect to see you for some sparring?”

“I will be there.”

_______________________________________________________________________

You and Damian were sitting next to each other at the dinner table. It was awkward and quite for some time, no one really wanting to bring any conversation up.

“So how did you feel about Gotham Y/N?” Bruce asked you trying to start some sort of conversation.

“It was fine.” You replied, “it’s comparable to a darker version of Chicago with a hint of New York.” “When did you go to either one of those cities?” Dick asked inhaling his food.

“I went to Chicago on a mission a year ago and New York three years ago.” You replied, “It was only for two nights at maximum.” “The people are strange though.”

Your comment made everyone either smirk or chuckle which lightened the mood a bit. You could tell that Damian was uncomfortable in this newer situation however. He wasn’t one for talking to those if he wasn’t bragging about something. You never commented on it while he was doing it, only glaring some to get your message across to him. He’d typically get to a stopping place but on the rare occasions he wouldn’t, you’d actively end the conversation or bite your tongue to keep from saying anything regretful.

“I took Y/N to that joint near the mall you told me to go to Bruce. It was good.” Barbra commented.

“Agreed.” You responded, “We also picked up a great plethora of items from the shopping center. Thank you for letting me go. It is greatly appreciated.”

“You are most welcome Y/N.” Bruce replied with a look of approval showing on his face, “And Damian, because you have opted not to go out with one of the boys, Alfred has had a selection of items delivered to the manor. They should have arrived already.”

“Yes, they did father.” Damian said quickly, giving you a slight glance.

Damian’s POV:

You seemed to be adjusting well. It was typical of you to take what you understood of your circumstances and adapt so quickly. You were just like that. He’d always admired it but right now, it was strange seeing you as the best adapted like you were. The strange distant feeling of seeing you not in armor or commanding a squad got to Damian. New surroundings like this were uncomfortable and unpredictable. He watched you fake your every move like it was nothing, the way that you carefully examined everything around you intrigued him. Then again, you were doing too well. He knew you were covering something. Old habits, old nightmares along as new ones, new yet familiar styles in the way you dressed, he saw your walls hold higher, most of the ones you “dropped” were mere props in the way you played. You’d always said life was a game or a gamble anyways, you just had to know how to play it.

The conversations at the table were forced. At the Leauge, typically there were either no conversations, or they were over missions and training. Though, it’s not like he really enjoyed any of it to begin with. He reached over just enough so that no one would noticed and lightly tapped your leg.

“most forced conversation I’ve had.” He tapped in a shorter way of speech than typical with Morse code.

“same.” You answered back quickly, “wonder how long we’ll be here.”

“hours.”

“very funny demon.”

_______________________________________________________________________

Your POV:

Damian was right, it did feel like hours. You didn’t really know when it was alright to leave, so you stayed until Bruce left. He was sitting at the head of the table, so he was in control of when you could leave. At least, that was how it was when you were raised in the foster care system. Damian left when you did and you both got suited up for sparring. You two met up outside of your own rooms when you were done, swords, daggers, and armor in all. If someone wasn’t familiar with the situation, they would have thought you were coming from a dress up party or cosplaying in some sense. That would have been insulting to you if you didn’t care about keeping your cover.

“Woah there kiddoes, where are you two heading dressed like that?” Dick asked coming down the hallway.

“Daily sparring.” You answered sharply.

“With all of that?” Steph chose to comment as well.

“Correct.” You continued, “They are merely swords and a few items of weaponry, nothing that should be too out of the ordinary seeing as you have the regular superhumans or even super heroes coming in and out regularly.”

Dick nodded and let you two through after Steph got him to stop pestering you two with questions. You and Damian exchanged looks of distaste in regards to your interaction. Rolling your eyes, you continued, eventually making it to the cave. Once on the mat, you started training. There was no conversation at first. There didn’t need to be. You’d always thought that if there was no room for conversation, there was no need to squeeze it in. If conversation wanted to add more space, it would naturally.

“So, how are you?” You asked, “Adjusting wise.”

Damian looked around some before responding to make sure no one was there, “I am doing as well as I can be. I find that we are being underworked in responsibilities however. It’s boring here.” “You seem to be adjusting well.”

“In standards of not beheading the shrubbery,” You smirked at the glare he gave you, “I’m... just testing the waters at this point.” “It feels strange not having a squad to command, I don’t like it that much but it is what it is.”

You didn’t reveal everything or really anything close to the most. What you were supposed to do anyways? It’s not like you were going to reveal all of your struggles in one training session. You weren’t ready or willing to do that anytime soon. Deep down though, everything felt wrong. Not having your position anymore was just the surface of your issues. The constant urge to pull yourself back into your old habits was overwhelming. At a strange noise, you found yourself reaching for a weapon that wasn’t there. When someone tried to talk to you, you immediately put even more walls up trying to figure out what they wanted to really know. You needed action and something to focus on besides keeping up some imagine like you always did. At night or in the moments you were alone, the constant shadow of your former self was there to greet you like a figment of your worst flashbacks. You knew exactly what was wrong, you just didn’t know how to express it because of the quantity in which your problems amounted in. So, for now, you’d keep it to yourself.

“Understandable.” He said pinning you down to the mat.

You went to flip him over and then stopped in mid motion where he didn’t hesitate to take you down before standing up.

“That was far below your own expectations for yourself in combat Y/N.” He said offering a hand up.

You felt your fight or flight mode kick in the moment everything happened thinking back to the arrows falling from the sky. Taking a deep breath, you reminded yourself of where you were. There were no arrows flying. No screaming from those around you. You looked around to reassure yourself before hearing someone come up silently from behind you.

“Hey love birds.” Dick said loudly walking up behind you.

You felt him go for a pat on the back. Clearly, he was just being stupid for the time being but you could control what you did. Taking the man by the wrist, you used all of your force and some of his own weight against him to slam him over you onto the mat. The rush of adrenaline faded when you saw who it was laying on the mat groaning in pain.

“Holy shit.” He mumbled.

Damian’s jaw dropped to the floor seeing you pull something like that. You snapped out of your temporary trance and immediately extended your hand to help him up.

“M-my apologies. I mistook you for someo-“

He stopped you, “No it’s fine. Should’ve known not to do anything too sudden like that.” Dick looked at you for a second, “You put up a fight Y/N. Although, I wouldn’t expect anything less from a high general.”

You sighed some at the comment, “Thank you. I must be leaving now.”

The two watched you swiftly head up the stairs. You made sure to travel through the manor as quietly and quickly as possible. The last thing you needed was for anyone to try to touch or talk to you. Once you made it to your bedroom, you immediately grabbed a change of clothes and headed for the shower. A hot shower was the only thing you thought would help. At least, that’s what you were hoping.

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andmaybegayer · 3 years

Text

Last Monday of the Week: 2021-03-01

First Monday of the Month. My boss just quit at work which means I'm now the only formally trained engineer left who has any particular specialization in embedded systems. This week is going to be a doozy.

I also wrote a Very Long set of media updates because I’ve been consuming some stuff that makes me think a lot. Never a good sign.

Listening: I spent all of Saturday playing Minecraft after talking with some friends about it during the week on IRC. Practicing what I preach with regards to my Large Biome Supermacy policy, which does involve a lot of walking. Hence, I started catching up on The Adventure Zone: Graduation again, I'm like ten episodes behind.

https://maximumfun.org/episodes/adventure-zone/the-adventure-zone-graduation-ep-32-by-a-haircut/

I don't really enjoy Travis' DM'ing style. It's very loose and he has a tendency to let players run wild without much structure which is a tricky thing to handle. He does a lot of worldbuilding and character design but doesn't seem to plan much in the way of arcs. That pays off sometimes (returning to the school to realize they broke a promise they made a few sessions earlier and had to deal with consequences, for example) and when it does, it’s really good, but it's finnicky. I know DM's who can do that, but, well, actually I know One Single DM who can do that well and she's absurdly smart.

Reading: Still on Worm, I just got past chapter 8 or so now. It lives in my phone browser so I've mostly been reading it whenever I get some spare time, which is a good sign. If a book doesn't grab me I need to really settle down in a quiet space to avoid getting distracted, but I can read Worm while someone else is on the phone in the same room.

It is a story with a lot of very well-conveyed feelings and events. It's very easy to imagine yourself in it. Characters actually act like they care about what they're doing, I feel like writing this took a lot of care to keep everyone on model.

There's also a certain care given to the superpowers that you'd usually only see in forum posts arguing about an actual superhero story. Everyone always likes to argue about how far you can push a superpower: can you use teleporting to fly? What prevents a speedster from catching fire in the air? Where does the energy for a pyrokinetic ability come from? Worm takes these and runs with them as a way to make absolutely any fight become a series of gambits relying on whether a power can or cannot be used to perform some high-stakes trick.

The world certainly has some underpinning contrivances to explain why no one gets killed very often but I've always considered nitpicking the base contrivances of a setting silly, because that's precisely what they are: contrived, in order to allow the rest of the story to flow from there. Like arguing about Omega’s abilities in the famous thought experi-*I am dragged off stage by the ratblr police for making a by now extremely stale joke*

Watching: I came and edited this section in like an hour before this posts because I keep on forgetting to put it in. I don’t really like watching TV and with my parents stuck at home in Pandemic Times it’s how they pass the time.

I did finish S3 of the Good Place. It’s very funny. I’m glad I’m watching it and I’m going to have to go find S4 because ZA Netflix doesn’t have it for whatever reason. It feels a little like it was written by Phillip Pullman if Phillip Pullman was a comedy TV writer.

I also really enjoyed the PBS Spacetime video about how time causes gravity. Love when an explanation of concepts is good enough that you drawn the conclusion on your own.

youtube

Playing: Visual Novel Hell plus Minecraft.

I spent approximately seven hours in Minecraft over two days. I tend to hop in and out of games for 1-2 hours at a time but there's a handful that can suck me in for an entire day. Minecraft, Warframe, Horizon Zero Dawn, Night in the Woods. Bastion, to a lesser extent. I end up avoiding them because I don't like loosing entire days, but I wasn't really planning on doing anything this weekend anyways.

Minecraft was mostly a long-ass trek to find a saddle, because as previously mentioned, I enjoy playing it with Large Biomes for the sense of scale.

I also completed Act 3 of Psycholonials and Eliza.

Psycholonials is odd. It is doing the thing that Hussie does where it dances around what's ostensibly the story to carry out the actual story. You get used to the trope after your first encounter but it still makes you wonder when the other shoe will drop, and of course, there's no reason it ever has to. The story may remain in suspended animation behind the every growing mess of narrative red tape tying the B-plot together.

Stories about Social Media have no well established norms. I think I might pick up Feed by M. T. Anderson and also perhaps Hank Green's books sometime. See what context they set that in.

Eliza is frustrating to me. It's a game for programmers, by programmers, about programmers. I'm friends with a lot of Capital P Programmers, the types who go to university and get sniped for developer positions at Seattle or Silicon Valley tech companies and who make great and terrible things and then warn you about the deep problems that underpin the slowly rolling ball of venture capital and bloated technology that is the tech industry. But at the same time, it makes me feel like I've burnt out on that conceptually before I even went in. It’s a whole other world that I’m familiar with but very distant from. In fact, that’s kinda how I feel about Psycholonials too. I’m familiar with the social media rat race but I also don’t go there. Parallels!

My cousins (who are halfway to Capital P Programmers, only so much you can do halfway around the world from silicon valley) warned me not to go into CS, because it would bore me, and that's a non-trivial part of why I'm in Engineering. They gave the same advice about Biology and Physics, without that I may have ended up in Microbiology. it’s not my domain, but because of how Engineering is going, you end up a lot closer to programmers than you think. I found out the other day that most of the software developers on my team have no formal tertiary qualifications, which is accepted in CS but of course, right out when it comes to engineering. It’s a whole other world that I kinda expected to skip around. I might go into this another time, since this post is already getting long.

Making: I haven’t done any engineering scicomm posts on here in a while so I started a few blank drafts and finally got one off the ground. With some luck I’ll have that ready this week. What’s it about? Not saying! It might change!

I’ve been doing layout for a custom keyboard, I need to call a laser cutting place and find out what their kerf requirements are so I can adjust the path accordingly. Wouldn’t do to burn a couple hundred rand on an oversized part, I’m paying for this, not my employer like the other times I’ve done laser cutting, so I’m probably not going to spring for getting one of their designers to check my design. At some point I should CAD up a chassis, but at the same time I might just buy some wood and go ham with a router once I get the plates cut.

Computers Slot: I got WeeChat set up properly on my desktop, which technically was just a matter of getting my SSH keys moved over. It’s taking me forever to move in to Cinnabar, in part because Stibnite lost her boot partition and I haven’t bothered to fix it.

So here’s a pitch for WeeChat as a good quality Terminal UI IRC Client. Many of my closest friends live there and it has a good set of tools to help me keep in touch.

WeeChat is very configurable but with perfectly sane defaults, I didn’t configure it for years. The UI is smarter and less arcane than something like irssi, and if you enable mouse support it can be downright modern. Running it remotely like this limits some features but as long as you don’t mind jumping through a few hoops to do filesharing, IRC is really great like this.

One of the big ones is the ability to do that double-pane thing, I can keep an eye on two channels at once (really as many as I can cram on my screen, but usually two) which is great when you want to browse channels while talking in your home channel.

It also has a good array of remote access tools, from what I’m running up there, just weechat running on my server inside tmux connected over mosh for low-latency SSH, to weechat-relay, a relay protocol built in to weechat. At the moment relay only supports android phones and the glowingbear web client, but I’ve never really looked around since both of those cover all my needs. Easily one of the best ways to get IRC on a modern mobile device, barring maybe IRCCloud.

#last monday of the week #galena

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