#anyways anon sorry this got longer than you probably asked for but it's a rant i always have on standby | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

mirkwoodshewolf · 1 year

Text

Big bros and period comforts; Steve Harrington x sister preteen reader

*Author’s note*

And here is yet another request that recently came to me so to the anon who asked for this, I hope you’ll find this in the tags when you go to search this up. Anyways like I said, while I do love seeing some romantic steve fics, I think he deserves some more platonic big bro fics cause let’s face it he may always be the babysitter but he’s sure as HELL one HELL of a damn good one and deserves to be a big brother.

Warnings: period descriptions, swearing, some angst, brotherly fluff, Steve being a good brother.

Taglist:

@plethora-of-things

@waddles03

@psychosupernatural

@queen-paladin

@jd-johndeacon-or-jackdaniels

@gay-and-ready-to-cry

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I tossed and turned in my bed feeling a cold sweat coming onto my brow. I have been feeling pain in my lower stomach since last night but I just labeled it to that Big Mac Steve got me last night but there was something in the back of my head that told me it wasn’t just the late night McDonald’s. I turned to my clock to see that it was just half past 6am.

I got up from my bed and went to the bathroom and when I pulled down my pants, I noticed how they were stained brown. What the hell?! I took them off and quickly closed and locked the bathroom door.

“Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit! This cannot be happening. Not now! Mom’s not even here to help me with this. I don’t know where she keeps her stuff at, hell she could’ve taken all of those stuff since she’s never home! I can’t-I can’t—I can’t do this right now!” I hissed as my lower stomach began to cramp up even more than it had all night.

I quickly sat on the toilet and did my business but I decided to just stay on it cause now my underwear was completely stained just like my pants.

“I can’t believe this is happening now. And why now? I wasn’t prepared for this. I can’t go to school like this. My insides are coming out of my outsides, my stomach is all in knots and cramping every ten seconds, I can’t do this!” I buried my face into my hands and felt tears burning in my eyes.

Great! Now I’m crying! I’m crying at the butt crack of dawn and all because of my stupid period finally decided to make its appearance right here and now with no one to help me through this.

“Hey (Y/n), you okay in there?” oh god no. And to make matters worse, Steve’s gonna find out. There is no way in hell I’m letting my brother anywhere near me in this state.

“Don’t come in here Steve!”

“I’m not. I just wanna know if you’re alright. You sounded pretty frantic just a bit ago.” Shit I forgot. Steve’s room is literally right across from the bathroom, he must’ve heard my frantic ranting earlier god why couldn’t I be quieter? Or better yet why can’t we have a soundproof bathroom?!

“I’m fine. Just go away now and don’t use this bathroom.”

��Sorry squirt but you do realize this is our bathroom. Not just yours.”

“You use this bathroom a lot longer than me and that’s just to do your stupid hair!” I snapped.

“First of all, cut the attitude. I get it’s early but there’s no need to throw a fit. Second, it’s not my fault mom and dad made us share a bathroom. And third, my hair is not stupid.”

“Steve just—leave me alone. I’ll be out soon okay, but just get out of here.”

“Fine. But if you’re not out in the next 20 minutes, I’m breaking down the door with my bat. And you know I’ll do it.”

“Yeah, yeah whatever your scary bat with nails. You take on a few Demogorgon’s and a few demodogs and you think you’re Hercules or something.” I said. I knew Steve probably was flipping me off and I heard the creaks of the floorboards leave the bathroom.

I turned towards my towel and wrapped it around my waist before peeking out the bathroom door just to be sure Steve was really gone. Once I knew he was, I quickly darted back to my bedroom, grabbed a fresh pair of underwear and raced back to the bathroom. I tried using toilet paper as a base to protect my underwear but it kept falling out or sticking out too far so I just decided to screw it and go bare.

Maybe if I just ignore it, it won’t leak or if I try to squeeze my legs together as tight as I could, maybe that’ll stop it from staining my underwear. I put on some new sweatpants and went downstairs to see Steve eating his breakfast.

“Finally done hogging the bathroom I see.”

“Haha you’re hilarious. Like I said, if either one of us is hogging the bathroom it’s use and your Farrah Faucet spray.”

“The threat still stands. I don’t care if you’re my little sister, you tell any of your nerdy friends about it, and like Henderson your ass is grass.”

“Whatever.” I said getting the count chocula. “Hey, do you know when mom’s coming back?”

“Why do you ask?”

“Because I said so now quit being a smartass. Do you or do you not know?” I snapped.

“You know I’m really not liking this sudden attitude (Y/n). You do realize I’m the older sibling around here.”

“Steve I’m serious just tell me when mom’s coming back!”

“I don’t know. You know her, sometimes she doesn’t call or even send us a letter to tell us when she’s staying on her business trips longer. Just like our old man.” I groaned and took my cereal upstairs. “Where are you going now?! Hey! (Y/n) I’m talking to you!”

“Well I’m through talking to you!”

“Hey!” he grabbed my arm roughly which caused me to drop my bowl of count chocula all over the floor.

“What the fuck Steve!?”

“Don’t turn this on me! Why are you acting like such a spoiled little brat!?”

“It’s none of your damn business!”

“When mom and dad are gone, that makes me in charge therefore what you do is my business!”

“This is basically child abandonment you’re not even 18 yet so you can’t legally watch over me for this period of time!”

“Whether we like it or not, that’s the way things are around here. Believe me I’ve dealt with it longer than you have. Now you have two options; tell me what’s wrong without the attitude, or you can continue to mope while I drag your ass to school.”

“Oh there’s no way I’m going to school today.”

“And why’s that?”

“I just am.”

“That’s not an excuse.”

“People do it all the time.”

“But not you. Your only excuse is if you’re dead, sick or just came out of the hospital for broken bones. And you’re not either of the three.”

“You wouldn’t understand.”

“What wouldn’t I understand?”

“You just wouldn’t.”

“Why? Because I’m stupid? Because I’m slow? I may not be as smart as you, but I’ll have you know that I—”

“This has nothing to do with scholastic intelligence Steve! This is because you’re a boy and I’m a girl so please don’t bother even trying to fix this because I know you won’t want to!” I took back my arm and immediately raced upstairs and slammed the bathroom door shut before feeling the tears coming down my face.

I slid down against the door until my butt hit the floor and I wept into my knees as I wrapped my arms around my legs. My shoulders shaking as I choked on some sobs.

Truthfully I hate fighting with my brother. We’ve been fighting for years ever since he became ‘King Steve’ and only just recently with the whole Upside down have we’ve tried to rebuild our relationship with each other.

Now thanks to my stupid period and damn hormones, I might’ve fucked everything up. I didn’t mean to snap at him but I knew he wouldn’t understand this. No guy would, hell just last year when I got with the guys after our first ever health class (when they separated all the guys and girls to talk about the reproduction stuff and how our bodies change and shit as we get older), Dustin, Mike, Lucas and Will were all pretty scarred from it. So if they acted like that, how would my own brother act alone when I told him I finally started my period?

Knock. Knock.

“(N/n)?” Steve’s voice said in a more calming manner. “Did you—what you said back there, did you umm…..you know?” there was the awkwardness in his tone. He was starting to piece it together.

“What would you’re answer be if I said yes?” I asked as I wiped away my tears.

“Well…..I’d tell you that if you needed, you know the pads. There’s some in the bathroom vanity just above the towels.” Wait what?

“How did—”

“I had seen mom take the last remaining stuff she had before they left. I figured you’d need some just in case it happened now or something.”

“You—bought period pads?”

“Well I wasn’t gonna buy you those tampons. Not even I know how the hell they work. So if you’d think you’d be using those, think again.” I stood up and went over to the vanity closet and just as Steve said, on the shelf above the towels were some pads.

I reached up and took a box down and slowly opened it up. I took a pad out and took off the tape before unfolding it to reveal the pad inside.

“I think you first place it on the—”

“I can manage Steve!” I quickly interrupted him feeling my cheeks flush in embarrassment. “Don’t listen Steve!”

“Okay, okay my ears are covered.” I heard him say from behind the door.

“You swear it?”

“What was that? I can’t hear you my palms are practically sucking out my brains.” I rolled my eyes at him. I took the pad out of the sleeve and saw the wings tucked in under the tape. I placed the pad along the main part of my underwear and then removed the small square tape holding the wings in and then folded them over my underwear to make them stay. I pulled my underwear back up and then put my pants back on before coming out of the bathroom. There Steve stood against the right side of the door with his ears covered.

I tapped his elbow and he looked down at me and I motioned for him to uncover his ears. He did as I told him and he asked me.

“How you feel?”

“Like I got a diaper on.”

“Unfortunately that’s something you’ll have to get used to. Maybe next time we need to do a store run you can come with me and you can pick out—” I stopped him by exclaiming and shaking my head.

“Why are you the one talking about this?”

“What do you mean?”

“Oh c’mon Steve, don’t pretend. I know you’re trying to pull off the supportive big brother card on the outside but on the inside, I know talking about this stuff is really making you uncomfortable. Squeamish even.” He hummed for a second before saying.

“Not really.”

“Stop lying.”

“I’m not, seriously. You think if I were that squeamish I would’ve bought you those pads in there?” I shrugged. “Well I’m wasn’t.”

“But didn’t you get weird looks when people saw you buying this stuff?”

“Some douchebag guys did, but when I told them it was for my little sister they shut up. Then next thing I knew, one of the store’s female employees told me to get you that brand of pads for a first time period.”

“That story true?”

“As true as the nose on my face. Listen,” he placed his hands on my shoulders and we looked at each other. “I know you wish mom were here. She could answer the questions I know that are going through your mind. And she could definitely answer them a lot better than I ever could. Unfortunately, that’s not the case. But you don’t have to be embarrassed about coming to me with these types of things. I had to sit through three years of health class just like I know you are doing right now when they first did it to you guys last year. They still do that thing where they separate you girls and boys and—”

“Yes Steve. They did it last year and we’re supposed to do it again in two weeks.”

“Okay and again they’ll do it when you go into 8th grade. But my point is, it’s biology. You’re not the only girl going through this, and you certainly won’t be the last.”

“I’m sorry I was such a bitch earlier Steve. I was just—scared but also angry and god I don’t even know what other emotions. But I remembered how last year Dustin and the guys came out of that first health class and they had that thousand yard stare. Like they had been to hell and back, and that was before Will had even disappeared into the Upside down. I thought you’d get that same look or be so uncomfortable you wouldn’t even want to be near me.”

“Well unlike your friends, I’ve lived through this with many girls. Plus I’m more mature to handle that type of stuff than they are.” I couldn’t help but laugh and shake my head. “I’ll allow that just for today. So besides starting your period, anything else bothering you? Cramps? Cold sweat?”

“I’ve been having bad cramps all night, didn’t really sleep well.”

“Okay, so back into bed with you missy. No school for you today.” He said guiding me back to my room.

“I thought you said—”

“Again making an exception. I’ll call the school and tell them you’re sick today.”

“Ahh man!”

“What you have a test or something?”

“No. But Max was gonna teach me some cool moves on her skateboard today.”

“Well she’s gonna have to suck it up and hear your excuse tomorrow. For now, into bed.” He removed the covers and it was then we both saw the stained brown spot on the bed.

“Oh god!” I exclaimed turning embarrassed.

“Hey no worries. Just change the sheets, like I said no big deal.” He tucked away my two main sheets before starting to remove the main bed sheet over my mattress and wadded it up before taking it out of the room. A few minutes passed and he came in with a new bedsheet and asked me, “Care to help me out with this?” I nodded and together we placed the new bed sheet over the mattress before placing my pillows and blankets back on the bed. “Alright, now that that’s taken care of, into bed.”

I did as he said and he tucked me back into bed.

“Need a heating pad? Nance used to say they always helped whenever her cramps got really bad.”

“Can it really do that?”

“Yeah something about extreme heat helps ease the muscles or something. I really can’t remember, maybe you could ask her next time you’re over at Mike’s.”

“You’d really allow me to talk to your ex-girlfriend?”

“There’s no law that says you can’t talk to her even after our breakup. Plus she did enjoy having you around, I’m sure she’d be happy to give you any advice on this kind of stuff.” I nodded. “So heating pad? Got any cravings? I’ve seen and heard some girls talk about their cravings for sweets, mainly chocolate. Would you like some?” I nodded. “Okay, back in a few.” He soon left my room once more.

Even after our intense spat this morning, once he understood what was happening he really was becoming a good big brother in helping out his little sister in her time of need. Not walking around eggshells or being super awkward about it, he understood and seemed to have everything I needed.

Soon he came back with the heating pad, some Hershey bars and a few bags of M&M’s, as well as some of my favorite movies.

“Okay so put this against your lower abdomen, and I’ll plug it up and switch it onto warm first. Then we’ll see if you want to go hotter or cooler.” He handed me the heating pad and I did as he said while we went over to my desk and plugged it into the socket just underneath my work desk.

He flipped the switch and soon I began to feel the warming sensation starting to come around my lower abdomen. I moaned in relief as I shut my eyes and held the heating pad closer to me. I felt something tap my forehead and I saw Steve holding one of the Hersey bars.

“Figured you’d want to eat this now before you pass out.” I took the bar from him and unwrapped it before taking a bite out of it. I don’t know whether it was the hormones or the enhanced senses from my period but this was the absolute, most heavenly thing I’ve ever had in my entire life (and I’ve been eating Hersey bars and kisses for as long as I can remember).

He set the rest of the candy at my bedside and he stroked my hair before telling me.

“I’m gonna quickly call the school and then get your sheets in the washer.”

“Directions are taped to the dryer.” I told him.

“I know, I know. God you let the washer overflow one time.”

“Twice. Remember the first time when mom and dad came early to see soap all across the hallway.”

“Right. But you just get some sleep okay kid?” I nodded. He leaned forward and kissed my forehead gingerly before brushing some of my hair out of my face. “I’ll check on you in a bit.”

“Thank you Steve.” I whispered before feeling the pull between consciousness and unconsciousness and the urge to sleep gripped tightly on me. And thanks to the heating pad, it was increasing greatly.

“You’re welcome (Y/n). Sleep well.” He then went over to the tv and turned it on and the last thing I heard was the opening to Lady and the Tramp playing in the background.

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alonetogether · 10 months

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hey ur answer to that ask last night (abt 27 being abt nowhere to go but death while i am my own muse shows a growth & healing, channelling that aggression spiral into music) is making me a tiny bit insane. Has anyone unpacked how i am my own muse straight into 27 kind of like. reframes 27 itself. pete + other members talked a long time ago abt how pete spent the entire year he was 27 in a haze, and how ppl legit thought he was gonna die; a whole year of his life spiraling w/ nowhere to go. and now looking at it in the context of i am my own muse (LIVE DEBUT!!!! THEY DELIBERATELY DEBUTED THIS SONG ALONGSIDE 27!!!!!) with the lyrics "got to throw this year away / we've got to throw this year away / like a bad luck charm" right into 27. i wonder what year is being thrown away. i wonder what memories they're implied to be moving past. throwing away the bad memories that have stopped hurting anyway tour of healing i'm going really crazy over this sorry if it's already been said also this is much longer than i thought it'd be sorry for the rant

GOD youre so so so right anon now youre making ME crazy in turn holyyyy shitttt... can i ALSO add that i always saw "smash all the guitars til we see all the stars" as such a like folie era/into hiatus era line too like they all got to breaking point, they were all in such a haze and destroying what they once saw as something sacred to them.. 27 to muse itself is soooo. theres a reason stardust seems like such a new era for fob cause it IS they are working through trauma especially from those pre-hiatus years and accepting that they had to destroy what they had to come back anew etc. so so much happened last night and this 8ball combo is probably one of the top things that is making me so crazy too. im right here with you anon

#your ask just sent me into a spiral i feel like i make NO sense. you are so smart anon

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mangoisms · 7 months

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WAITTT, I just saw ur reply to my previous comment. I didn't like Tim too (lmao). The debates between Tim and Damian fans can (and do) get so annoying that I just started disliking his character (not the greatest). Reading Red Robin on a whim was when I started to warm up to his character, he was just some weird dude. The sentiment about him being a chew toy...so real, and perfectly captures how I feel about him. He is so cringe-fail to me.

To touch upon Red Robin relationships...I wish I could peek into the writers' brains and conduct experiments to begin to understand what they were trying to accomplish...Tam, then Lynx II? Rekindling moments with Steph, and I always forget the last girl's name... I just never understood why they thought giving him so many love interests was necessary for the plot (he is quite literally spiraling, absolute rock bottom, can not go any lower, and yet forced so many women into his life; were they expecting me not to feel bad for them?). On top of that whole mess, the last few issues were like a fever dream, I can not properly summarize them for the life of me if asked.

On a side note, Circle K has also inspired me to pick back up my reading on Steph. I started in the summer, and the summer session (I completely forgot I signed up for classes?) completely ruined that for me...

Very random but, what are your thoughts on WFA? Everyone on Twitter is fairly convinced it's absolute garbage. I never read it myself, but I see complaints about characterization all the time. It also seems to be a lot of people's introduction to Batman-associated characters and content, so I can understand why people are upset if it truly is inconsistent with canon writing.

Young Justice anon (as always, hope you're doing fine and that school is manageable and well!!)

it’s so interesting that red robin 2009 is what softened you up to him because that run still remains a sour point for me HAHA like he is compelling but he is sooo annoying </3 getting into his origins in a lonely place of dying and then robin 1993 was what slowly got me, though he still actively annoyed me for a lot of it… it’s Weird i know i like him in a silly weird way where he annoys me but. yeah. he is my chew toy ❤️‍🩹

oh absolutely it makes NO sense that he had so many love interests and. Ok rant incoming let me also put this under the cut because this got LONG

the thing that bothers me is that none of it was EVER addressed. for sure it was a questionable decision on the writers’ part but none of them had the thought to maybe address the fact that he was flip-flopping so badly? i consider tam to be the strongest out of all of them (as in the one with the most chances to have been with him) and even tim acknowledges that at some points and YET. he kept having those weird moments with lynx. like obviously he and tam weren’t necessarily in a relationship but There Was Something There and of course while tam remains ‘loyal’ to him, tim just gets to mess around with other people… and then when he needs something he relies on tam’s affection to help him out… and then of course the way their falling out was set up was sooooo obvious and i don’t think certain plot decisions are necessarily Bad when they’re obvious but they were clearly gunning for the usual ‘superhero withholds important information from the civilian love interest and they break up’ and i just feel like There were so many OTHER things they could’ve had a falling out over 😭😭😭😭 like Come on…

okay that got longer than i wanted sorry for the impromptu rant 😭😭😭😭 i just. argh. most of my grievances with it is the treatment of the female characters LOL but it’s honestly par the course for tim, he has a long string of love interests and those relationships have been. interesting. quality aside my favorites are probably tam and ariana, if only because they had So Much Potential. anyway!!!!

STEPHANIE MY BELOVED <3333 once you find the time (and i hope you do so you can rest! good luck with your classes <3) i would HIGHLY recommend batgirl vol 3, it’s her batgirl run and it makes up for all the shit that went on in war games (which i didn’t actually read, well i did read some of it, mostly steph’s parts, which i wouldn’t recommend because it is… heartwrenching) and it’s just SOOOOO good i have SOOO many thoughts on it. one of my favorite runs i’ve ever read!!!

umm i’m kind of in the middle on wfa. i read it when it initially came out and it was pretty neat! i liked the art for one. but i’ve stopped keeping up since then. as an elseworlds comic with no bearing on current canon, it can be fun! and it has some things i would like in canon (like them keeping babs as oracle, when current canon refuses to do so), but thats hmmm probably it? and honestly it’s not totally my taste, if only because characterization can be a bit iffy (there was one moment with jason early on that kind of turned me off a bit because. i’m sorry. He would not say that. but in fairness to wfa we have a lot of that going on around now in current comics! wrt him, dick, tim, etc) and well. i like drama HAHA. i have also seen that it is the ‘easy way’ to get into the bats and yeah, there’s nothing wrong exactly with that being someone’s introduction, but it should be kept in mind that it’s not canon and things aren’t like that at all in current canon at all! but yeah not everyone does that and it does admittedly get kind of annoying 😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫

it is kind of funny in that initially wfa wasn’t a true representation of the ‘batfam’ (at the time it was coming out. i think anyway) and more of an ideal glossy one that, well, ignores a lot to get it to that point. but now we seem to be having that go on in current comics, at least with their attempts to try and absolve bruce of his abuse (which i think they are doing in a dumb way that does absolve him of responsibility and agency and thus makes it. well. redundant. because he isn’t owning up to it and it ignores years of him doing it) so it is kind of. equally bad. except that wfa is elseworlds so it honesty can get away with it but uhhh. current comics don’t have an excuse and that’s. well. Hngh. kind of creates double the bad effect but ANYWHO!!!!!!

SO. YEAH. those are my thoughts. many thoughts. so sorry about that i just got carried away 😭 anyway!! good luck with your classes!!! thank you sm i am doing better too ❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹 i hope you’re doing well, take care of yourself!!!!

(also i am gonna go ahead and make a tag for you ^_^ under yj anon … if u have any emoji preferences lmk i was trying to think of something yj-relevant but not sure…)

#you just gave me Much to think about thank you for that <3 #inbox #yj anon #anonymous

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alex-rambles · 9 months

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TW the fact that you’re considering running away and even attempted to off yourself just shows how awful your living situation is. However, you should probably look into emancipation more than running away since emancipation won’t legally get you in trouble and it’s the safer option. I know you are in a stressful spot right now but please don’t do anything rash, especially running away. Running away can be extremely dangerous especially with how young you are and that’s why I think emancipation is a better option. Idk if your state allows people that young to legally move out and became independent but at least see it it’s an option by searching online or asking for legal advice and if it isn’t, you should probably wait until next year or the year after to go to court but it’ll be worth it and you’ll be so proud and happy that you no longer have to be stuck in a toxic household. Whatever you do though, just make sure to believe in yourself and be easy on yourself because you can do it and regardless of what happens, you don’t deserve what’s happening to you right now and you deserve to be happy and free.

It's me, back on the family computer in incognito to reply to your advice.

You are correct. Emancipation is safer. I just don't know how to bring it up.

I don't even know anymore. Right now, my parents are being so much nicer, and helped me order things I wanted. I mean, I just got out of the hospital, so it's to be expected.

I am being gendered correctly. Being called by my name- my chosen name. Everything feels nice- except for my newfound lack of internet freedom, which I am getting used to, I guess??? I miss talking to bots on character ai before sleep. I miss freedom to be on Tumblr whenever I please.

So I just don't get why I still want out. I don't actually wanna die. I don't know what happened in my brain on Friday. All I know is that I need the freedom to be COMPLETELY unapologetically me- which I don't have, even though they insist I can be.

But cmon. If they knew Tumblr existed, if they saw alex-rambles, that'd be bad.

I love my parents, I do, but holy shit. They are too blinded by needing to "keep me safe" to realize it's THEM. I am tired of being owned.

ANYWAY, sorry for ranting again, anon! I highly appreciate all you sent. I have little to say about what you sent, but it's appreciated more than you'll ever know

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alycosworld · 3 years

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guess who🤡 heyhey 💕 here. I’m pretty sure by this 2nd request u can tell that I’m a very emotional person🧍🏻‍♀️ and that I’m a person that seeks alot of comfort from fictional characters because i dont have a life and good friends.

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putting a divider here so u dont have to read everything and can look out for keywords!

purple—> person

pink—>genre

green—>subject

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I’m not sure if u r comfy writing kazuha so if yr not I’m sorry u can ignore this! i just want a fluff comfort for reader who got like REALLY scolded for getting bad grades for exams because u have no idea how angsty I’m feeling rn:( my parents just literally like scolded me like there was no tmr istg- so i just need really fluff comfort. so a kazuha x NB(non bibary)!reader

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Anyways again tysm u have no idea how grateful i am if you accept my request!!!<3 get lots of rest and drink water. only do this if you want to!

byebye<3

-💕

Kazuha's Wise and Whimsical Words

Kaedehara Kazuha X Reader

A/N: aaaa 💕anon ily!! being emotional is completely fine and I would be honoured to become of your good friends!! I will be a part of your life, private message me if you're ever feeling down! I just want my readers happy because they make me happy aaaaaa 🥺

with that being said, i love this request! My parents were so hard on me when it came to exams, but as soon as I broke away from their expectations, I started to appreciate my grades more. I'll leave the real comforting words for Kazuha to say but NO ONE SHOULD EVER be disappointed in yourself if you tried your best. Thank you for your support and the request, I hope the story makes you feel better. Enjoy!

ps: I took into account the fact that not everyone has a mother and a father and not everyone has two parents at all, so only one parent is mentioned here and they are left gender neutral so it's easier to picture yourself in the story.

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"(Y/N). This is not at all what I expected. What happened to you?" Your parent asked sternly.

"Well, I--"

"I don't want to hear any excuses. Your predicted grades were much higher than this!" They said, raising their voice.

"I'm sorry, I--"

"Sorry is not going to improve your results! Do you really think that now is a good time to be slacking off? You have one more exam period before university. I don't care if you pass those exams, I want you to excel. And if you don't, you are not attending Sumeru Academia, whether they accept you or not. I am not paying for you to study overseas, only for you to get mediocre grades." They said, making you even more anxious than before the exam.

"But I got above the average!"

"By two percent! And the average was low." Your parent said, narrowing their eyes slightly and upsetting you with their belittling gaze.

"Realistically--"

"Realistically? Realistically?! If you want to study realistically, you should find someone else to pay for your education. When you want to study successfully, you can come back." They slammed the stack of sheets that displayed your results on the table with a loud bang before folding their arms as you grabbed a jacket and stormed out of the house, tears running down your face.

You walked for a while in the night, before eventually finding yourself in an area you were less familiar with. After recognising it to be somewhere near your boyfriend's current residence off Beidou's ship, you made a beeline for his place, knocking on the door and hoping, praying he would be alone inside.

The door soon opened and Kazuha stood there, initially with a smile on his face but it soon dropped when he saw your expression.

"(Y/N)? What happened?" He asked.

"C-can I come inside?" You sniffled.

"Of course, Love. Come in." He said, ushering you into his quaint little place. You stood by the door that closed behind you before Kazuha pushed the coat you had lazily draped over your shoulder onto the floor and enveloped you in his arms.

You broke down in his embrace. You had done better than most of your fellow students, and frankly, you were kind of proud of your result. But it was foolish of you to think that your parent would accept anything but perfection. They said it was all for you, but you were doubting it. Did you even want to go to Sumeru Academia? You had had your heart set on it since you were a child, but maybe that was only because your folks always envisioned you going there.

"Why are you crying, my love?" Kazuha asked, sitting you down near the fire to warm you up and standing up to get you a blanket and a hot cup of tea.

"I'm not good enough." You mumbled. If it was anyone else, they wouldn't have heard you. But your boyfriend could listen to the wind "talk" - he was very attuned to quiet and subtle noises.

"Nonsense." He smiled, bringing you the blanket as you listened to the water boil in the background.

"You're more than good enough. Everyone who knows you adores you - no one more than me, of course." Kazuha chuckled, eventually setting down two cups of tea and sitting in front of you on the floor.

"Public opinion won't improve my grades." You said, now more stoic than upset. You had almost become numb and desensitised to degrading comments that after you cried a little and calmed down, you'd be straight-faced and almost emotionless. It didn't feel good, but it was certainly better than feeling bad.

"So this is about school." Kazuha nodded, gesturing for you to continue explaining why had happened.

"They keep talking about my grades. They said I shouldn't be slacking and that I'm not going to get to Sumeru Academia and that they want me to do better...maybe I'm interpreting it wrong. Maybe they're trying to encourage me?" You wondered aloud, thinking that somehow you were the problem. As soon as you said "they", Kazuha knew who you are referring to and sighed.

"Encouragement and doubt are two very different things. Unrealistic expectations, detrimental practices, emotionally, mentally or physically taxing improvement - none of that is going to help you. In fact, it'll make you feel worse. When you really think about what you have to do to achieve perfection, you'll only realise how unattainable it is. You'll fall into a perpetual spiral of intellectual destruction." Kazuha said.

"Then how the hell am I gonna get the best results?" You asked worriedly.

"You won't. No one will ever get the best results because more people and more previously unforeseen factors will come into play. What you can achieve is your best results. Your grades are a product of you, not the other way around. They are no measure of your worth, they cannot define you, and they do not have to be a part of you. If you don't ace one subject, you don't have to hang on to that or turn it into some strange part of you. You can't cling to it, it's impossible to cling to a piece of the past forever. That's not to say you don't learn from it, but it doesn't need to become some villainous trait - in the end, it is only a grade." Kazuha shield at you. His words warmed your heart more than the fire or tea, and they even seemed to dry your tears and allow you to mirror his expression.

"And at the very least, you can hold your head high knowing that you had the strength to participate in an exam when not everyone does. You went in, sat through it, attempted the questions and walked out. Not everyone has the courage to stay; some don't even have the courage to start. That goes for any endeavour you face." Kazuha said, before inching closer to you.

"Feeling any better?" He asked. You nodded instantly. Of course, Kazuha's wise and whimsical words had bettered your mood, it was Kazuha for Archon's sake.

"Good. Maybe we could go for an evening stroll? I'll treat you to dinner if you haven't eaten." He offered.

"Can...can we just stay like this for a little longer? I think being alone with you is nicer." You smiled.

"Of course, Angel. Anything you want."

┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈❀┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈

this was less physical fluff than I intended, but I think I do comfort with direct words and dialogue best, so I hope this is okay. honestly, everything kasha said is what I would've wished to hear when I was in this situation. I'll probably post a rant about my own exam experiences because this request got all my past feelings to resurface.

thank you for reading, I hope you enjoyed!

#kazuha #genshin #kaedehara kazuha #kazuha kaedehara #genshin impact #genshin kazuha #genshin x reader #genshin x y/n #genshin x you #kasha fluff #fluff comfort #comfort #kazuha comfort #non-binary reader #kazuha x reader #kazuha x you #kazuha x y/n

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thoughts-on-bangtan · 3 years

Text

Let’s talk: Vlive Asks and comment/chat discussions

From @cottoncandykings: Hello! As u probably know jimin just went live recently and again he mentioned mandaggo and discussing about doing it with tae. I just find it so weird though. I mean jimin keeps constantly mentioning it and its not like vminnies were begging or dying for a vmin live everyday even before jimin mentioned it last year. Even now most including myself dont really care that much ofc i m happy if they do one together. But the way jimin keeps mentioning it is so weird. Like surely if he wanted to do it so badly he could have talked to tae privately and arranged it by now. And if tae is the one that doesnt want to do it then idk why jimin is pushing it. But what was really weird to me this time was that he said there were lots of comments about mandaggo yesterday in zoom call and yet they didnt mention it yesterday but suddenly today without prompting he talks about it. I also hope no one spammed the zoom call chat or the vlive chat with requests for vmin live (i didnt see any) bcoz thats just unnecessary and demanding. I hope vminnies wont demand/ ask for another memeber when one of them is live. Its just disrespectful. This turned into a rant sorry. Do you think it was weird too?

Since Admin 2 can’t type their thoughts themselves, I’ll relay their thoughts to you instead, since they had more thoughts/opinions/ideas in regard to this than I do, to be honest.

Admin 2 is sure that there is a good chance that we will get a vmin vlive sometime soon, which I know contradicts their original opinion and post from a few months ago, but there’s a reason for it. During the zoom meeting between BTS and ARMY they noticed something I don’t think anyone else noticed, or at least neither of us has seen any vminnies mention it anywhere, which in conjunction with Jimin’s vlive today and saying how he’d talk to Tae about doing a mandaggo vlive again, as well as another observation a little while ago, leads them to this conclusion.

So, the observation from the zoom meeting. Basically at one point when the question of Jimin doing a vlive arose Tae looks at Jimin and then he nods while smiling which in turn makes Jimin smile as he turns away from Tae and back to face toward the camera before answering the question and saying how he’ll come visit us the next day. Which he did.

Then the other observation from a while ago, this one being from their OT7 vlive celebrating their BBH100 #1 on June 29th where at one point Jimin says something but slips into satoori after which Tae encourages him to say that again but this time in the Seoul accent, so the way they actually should speak, which Jimin says isn’t difficult but he doesn’t actually end up repeating what he said.

And lastly in today’s vlive Jimin mentioned how he’s using satoori quite often but that he isn’t all that good at doing it on command or at teaching it to others, which is something he’d have to do for mandaggo but I’m sure he’d manage just fine if the time came for it.

Based on that Admin 2′s thoughts are basically that Jimin really meant it when he said, last year, that he’ll bring Tae around for a vlive, that it wasn’t a joke or a way to tease us with something he knew he wouldn’t be able to deliver, but rather that up until this point they weren’t quite sure how to do it. Which sounds a bit odd, I know, but what they mean is that if vmin were to just sit down in front of the camera and were supposed to just talk based on what the chat would give them, it would likely just turn out awkward and weird and no one, including them, would really have fun. Even more so when we take into account how idiotic the chat is during regular vlives so now imagine if those two were to do one together that’s just a casual chat. It would likely end up in disaster and honestly I wouldn’t wish it upon them to read all those awful comments that they would likely get, even worse ones than they already get normally, to be honest.

But now that the whole satoori thing was brought up, and Jimin actually mentioned mandaggo and wanting to bring it back after so many years, Admin 2 thinks that they must’ve finally figured out a solution to their problem, if you can call it that. Doing mandaggo would basically mean they would have an activity, something to do similar to how they did those ASMR videos for the Japanese Fan Club which were fun and cute, and so Admin 2 thinks that perhaps chances are we will finally get the vlive we’ve waited for so long (though like many others I’ve long given up the idea).

Another confirmation is that during his vlive today Jimin basically said that he only came by for a little while since they are quite busy and had to soon get ready for work with the other members but that he’ll return in two or three weeks for a more proper, longer, vlive. So, he could’ve treated today’s vlive as the promised one but instead he saw it more as a bridging one between the zoom meeting and the proper vlive he wants to do, so is it the farfetched to think that he had proper plans for a vlive, like doing mandaggo, but it just wouldn’t have worked out time wise today so he moved the actual vlive he wanted to make to a later date?

One last thing (well two actually) that has nothing to do with this question but Admin 2 wanted me to include it anyway is that one, have you noticed how Tae and Jimin were both on weverse around 3 am (until almost 4am (also both of them posting a comment to some post at 03:41 am KST)) one after the other (though with one day of a break in between them) recently and then also two, that Jimin was up until like 6 am (since he posted on weverse around that time) on the 8th and then during the zoom meeting Tae answered a question by saying that he’d been awake until 6 am the previous day (also the 8th) since he wanted to see the sunrise? Which is also something an anon mentioned to us. Curious, isn’t it?

From anon: I request both admins to please post this ask. So jimin wwnt live today and one of the accounts on twt posted a screen cap of them commenting 'touch your hair if vmin is real' in the live chat and jimin's reaction to it. Now idk if it is an edit or real. No matter i just want to say its not ok to bring up ships in front of the members no matter which ship it is. We dont know the reality of their relationship so lets not make them uncomfortable. Its not a joke. Its not funny. Be respectful the members are real people.

(Admin 1 taking over from this point onward) This ask nicely ties into the last one that’ll be further down in this post since they cover a similar issue of sorts. But let’s start with this one asking about, essentially, vlive comments and the things fans ask/comment, which also ties in with the above ask as well.

The thing with the vlive chat, and especially comments/questions that are like anon said, questions or “commands/requests” about touch your hair if XYZ ship is real or cough twice if you love XYZ member or, likewise, comments such as where is XYZ member or what are the other members doing, unfortunately those have been a steady and unchanging part of the vlive chat since basically forever. It’s been an issue on and off with different intensities though I feel like it’s gotten worse again this year. Particularly if we look back at the vlive Tae did with Hobi and Yoongi and how essentially the entire chat was filled with comments related to Xkook and not much else.

If my memory doesn’t fail me we once even had a situation some years ago (2016) where the chat during Hobi’s vlive was so bad, as in so full of questions about that other members instead of him, that you could see he was upset about it and eventually he handed over the vlive to Jimin, whom the chat had requested Hobi to visit, and Hobi just left. And I can’t blame him for it since the chat must’ve made him feel like basically no one cared about him so what was even the point of him being there, right?

Personally I’ve long given up looking at the comments during vlive because they just make me cringe and feel bad for the members, especially when I think back to vlives such as Yoongi’s D2 one last year where he was so excited to talk about the songs and the process of making the mixtape and yet so many of the comments were just unrelated nonsense and annoying request like speak english or can you say my name or say hello in XYZ language. If it makes me question why the people posting those questions are in the chat, why they are fans to begin with, imagine what the members must feel like, how discouraging that must feel like. After all they are musicians and yet so rarely do they get questions about that. Or rather they do get them but they are just drowned out by nonsense. Which is a shame. And also very disrespectful but any attempts that were made to remind people to be respectful, to remember their place as fans, to focus on the member that’s doing the vlive instead of asking about the others, and to keep ships away from the members have failed because some don’t care and will continue to not care.

From anon: what are your opinions on the Qs that were asked during that zoom meeting thing between BTS and ARMY?

Now I’d like to preface my answer to this last question by saying that by no means do my grievances come from a place of jealousy or anything. I’m very happy for all the ARMYs that won their spot, that they got to participate in the event and that BTS got to see ARMYs again even if only on screens and not in person still. No, my issue stems from something completely different, and I don’t want to say that the system chose the wrong people, because that would be mean and also who even knows how the winners were chosen, if it was pure luck or there were some actual criteria that went into the process, but the fact is that only a select 200 ARMYs got that spot out of however many that applied, so basically for some this was a once in a lifetime chance, right, even just getting this close to asking Bangtan a question and have really great chances of having them give you an answer while acknowledging you somewhat instead of just seeing pure words on a screen, you know what I mean?

Now imagine you are one of those 200 ARMYs and you get the chance to fill the chat with questions along with the other 49 participants of your session and you decide that asking questions such as what it’s like for Jimin to work as angel, if Namjoon ever broke a bicycle, or why JK smells the crowns of the other members heads? Or even worse, you decide to ask about JKs shower routine and in which order he washes his body? And sure, the “fault” doesn’t fall completely on the ARMYs alone, after all it’s the members who read out those questions and not some magical off screen entity, and since I wasn’t part of the event I can’t say with a hundred percent certainty that no one asked any “proper” questions, but if those were the questions that ended up being read out loud, is it that hard to guess that likely all the questions looked similarly?

Which brings me to my main grievance of it all: have you forgotten that you are fans of musicians and not reality TV stars or vloggers/influencers? I know there were likely no rules for what questions you could or couldn’t ask (except for probably ones that were 100% about shipping or far too personal), but really, you get to ask your favorite band a question, something you might never, ever get the chance to do again, and your first thought isn’t to ask about their music but instead about some unimportant nonsense like the angel question or if they differentiate between the clothes they wear at home and those they sleep in? Like sure the angel one was kinda funny, maybe, and Jimin handled it in a cute way, I applaud him for it, but was that really necessary?

I know someone asked JK about Decalcomania, as well as Tae about his mixtape, and Yoongi/Jimin about Tony Montana (season 2), but other than that were there any other questions about their music? Perhaps I’m overthinking things, maybe I’m exaggerating and maybe I’m the only one who sees an issue with this, but if I would’ve won a spot, I’d rather have asked something about their process when writing lyrics or creating beats or how they prepare when learning new choreographies, what it’s like to be on tour (though perhaps that would be a mean question seeing as tours aren’t really something that’ll continue being possible for a while still), you get the point.

It makes me wonder if it was just bad luck or if it had something to do with how old the participants were (I saw some being as young as fifteen), which isn’t to say that teens can’t ask smart questions because they definitely can just like adults can ask stupid ones as well, but somewhere something, in my opinion, just went weirdly. And maybe that was the point of it all, for the event to be casual, funny, lighthearted, but my question then is when is the time for music discussions? For fans to ask those types of questions that actually have something to do with the boys careers? When even journalists aren’t asking them proper questions, ARMYs aren’t either, so what is the point of it all then?

Then again, after the event concluded and Seokjin came onto vlive he seemed so happy and excited, so maybe they had fun (I mean they seemed to have fun) and didn’t mind at all that the questions were lighthearted and silly, maybe I’m the one making mountains out of molehills. I don’t know, but anon wanted to know my thoughts/opinions, and this is them. Once again, I don’t mean to be mean toward the ARMYs that got rightfully in, that won, and I don’t want to insult them for the questions they asked, perhaps I just expected/hoped for something a little different? And perhaps I’m the only one. I don’t know.

#answered ask #BTS #vmin #jimin #Vmin vlive

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primalsouls · 3 years

Text

white rabbit pt 4

langa hasegawa x gn! reader (pt 1 - pt 2 - pt 3)

anon: will white rabbit have a part 4? ( if yes pls pls give them a happy ending hehe ) but its oki if you dont want to, no pressure! i just really enjoyed it and i love ur writing btw :)

⚠️ : im terrible at picking up what's a trigger, so let me know is there's anything uncomfortable!

theme: general

note: ooh my heart 💔 rip white rabbit 🐇🙏🕊 anyway, here's pt 4! :> i hope you like it and enjoy it! and thank you for reading! let me know what you think. :) i really like this chapter the most lol

≫ ──── ≪•◦ ❈ ◦•≫ ──── ≪

"Leave... Wonderland?"

"Forever?"

Reki and Langa stared at Adam with frowns on their face. Eyes widen at the words. Whispers surrounded them quick, destroying the small silence that gave the words to settle in for everyone. Blue eyes looked back at the [h/c]-haired skater. Their head still hanged low but he could see the sheer rage their fists held.

"He's saying that... [Y/N] [L/N], the White Rabbit, is leaving S." Miya repeated.

"Forever. Meaning.... They're kicked out." Shadow sighed, shaking his head.

Hearing those words, [Y/N] gritted their teeth and unclenched their fists. They looked up at Adam, a pleading expression on their face as they pulled their hoodie back.

"P-please... I don't wanna leave." They said, voice cracked in the beginning. Langa's heart broke at the sight. But before he could do anything, Adam walked up to them. "I'll do anything, please. Let me stay!" They continued but they flinched when their board was taken away from them harshly by Adam.

"A bet is a bet. Besides, it's about time S gets rid of its pests." Adam grinned. He snapped his finger, a couple of men bringing in a can of gasoline and a box of matches. Their eyes widen. Langa and the rest of his friends stood frozen, unable to believe the scene before them. Silence took over the crowd. [Y/N] knew they couldn't do anything to stop Adam from destroying their skateboard. "You should have won and this wouldn't happen. Remember, it's your fault." He said quietly. And with sheer power, he lifted the board and broke it in half with his knee. [Y/N] stared at him with wide eyes and mouth gaped slightly in shock. Tears pooled up and streamed down their cheeks one by one, one after the other.

"N-no... please, don't..." They whispered, a hand reaching out weakly but it didn't move much. [Y/N] was too shock to move any more than an inch.

Adam threw the broken board on the ground. He was handed the gasoline and the box of matches. He poured the liquid over the pieces, his masked eyes never leaving his younger sibling's face. Their look of terror filled him with chills. He loved it. Such as he loved the finish touch to the punishment. With elegance, Adam pulled out a match and stroke it on the igniter side of the box. Fire bursts on the matchstick. Adam flicked it onto the broken board like it was nothing and within seconds, flames burst to life, consuming the skateboard.

Langa watched with horror. [Y/N] didn't deserve that. They didn't deserve to leave. A bet wasn't even established. So, why? Why was this happening? His eyes went up to [Y/N].

"White Rabbit-"

"They're no longer go by that title." Adam interrupted coldly. "By losing this beef, no only are they banned from S, their title is no longer theirs to claim. White Rabbit is dead." Langa's eyes widen as his frown deepened. He couldn't believe it. This was not supposed to happen. Not supposed to lead to this results. No one supposed to be kick out or strip from their title. Adam reached a hand out. Langa saw how tensed [Y/N] got as the hand grew closer to them. The gloved fingers gently held into the S pin. It was on their collar of their hoodie but the next second, it wad ripped off from them. He threw it into the flames.

"I... I'm sorry..." [Y/N] apologized. Langa didn't understand. There was nothing to apologize for. Was it for Adam? For losing the race and everything they built for themselves? [Y/N] kept staring at the board, not noticing Adam turned his back on them. But his last words lef them in breaking in pieces.

"And don't bother coming home. A wild animal like you don't belong there. Never had and never will." As his final saying, Adam picked up his board and walked away but stopped to face Langa with a smirk. "Oh, and once again, my dear SNOW, congratulations." Langa blinked, watching Adam disappeared from everyone's sight.

"Damn..." Shadow muttered.

"Vanished from S... what a turn of events." Miya commented quietly.

Reki frowned at Adam's disappearing figure before he turned to Langa and [Y/N]. Everyone else slowly departed. Reki walked up to the two skaters, the broken board still caught in flames. Tears continued to spill from their eyes, Reki saw. Before the two could say any sort of comfort words to them, [Y/N] turned away from them and ran, ran as fast as they could. Away. They needed to get away and breathe. They couldn't breathe properly. Their chest was killing them. Sobs caught in their throat when they tried to cry. It hurts them. Their heart hurts. Everything was always their fault. They deserved. They believed they deserved it. They weren't a Shindo. They were a pest in the family. That was why Adam-no-Ainosuke told them not to come home. He was kicking them out. He was probably make up a lie to their aunts to make it seem it was their decision. For the better of the Shindo Family, they would say.

Life truly wasn't fair.

"C'mon, let's go!" Langa said, getting ready to chase after them but Reki grabbed his arm, pulling him back. He winced, the grip on his arm reminded him of the injuries he received during the race. "Wha- what? We have to go after them, Reki." He said, pointing towards [Y/N] running off.

"But you'll hurt even more with injuries like this. Besides, it's not our business. What happened with them was between them and Adam." Reki said. Miya nodded as he walked up to them.

"He's right, Langa. We should stay out of it. They're no longer of importance." Miya added in, crossing his arms over his chest. Langa frowned at the two boys.

"It's probably not the best time to even go after them. It's best that we mind our own business for now." Shadow advised, the other two boys giving affirmative responses. Langa tried to come up with reasons to go after them, but Reki shook his head and led Langa awau from the factory, pointing out the cuts once again. That was the last time Langa saw [Y/N].

The past couple of weeks, they were no were in sight. No familiar white hoodie resembling a white rabbit was found around S. No one spoke about them. It was like they never existed in the first place. As if S never heard of a skater called White Rabbit. Langa tried to find ways to get into contact with them but whenever he mentioned them, he was ignored, shut down, avoided. He was worried for them, for their safety. If Adam truly meant his words, then where would [Y/N] be? Langa wanted to make sure they were okay. That was all he wanted to know.

"[Y/N]... where are you?" Langa muttered as he walked through the park. He was planning to meet Reki at their usual hangout. Although, he wanted to clear his mind out of [Y/N] and the events that occurred. It wasn't their fault. It was his. If he never beef against them, Langa would had still see them every night at S, even from a fair distance to admire them. They would still be in his life, somehow.

"Ah, sorry..." A tired voice said. Langa looked down, not realizing he bumped into someone. He did felt something hit him as he walked, but he didn't pay too much attention. Langa opened his mouth to apologize instead but words were caught in his throat. His eyes widen. He couldn't believe it. The board in his hand dropped to the ground beside him, both hands reaching up a bit.

"It's you..." Langa whispered. Confusion replaced the apologic gaze on their face. "White Rabbit." When the title left his lips, it was their turn for their eyes to grew wide. Langa smiled brightly. "It's you, White Rabbit. [Y/N]." Langa was happy. He found his white rabbit once more. But no more words left Langa's lips as a hand slapped his cheek. It took him a second to register the outcome. A shaky hand of his reached to touch the burning cheek. He flinched when his fingers came into contact. "Wh-what?" A handprint appeared as a light red shade on his cheek. His eyes focused on them. They didn't wore their signature hoodie. Only a black one with dark blue jeans and white Vans shoes. Their eyes were still the same crimson color but filled with anger. And sadness? Langa parted his lips, unable to say anything.

"Don't call me that name. Because of you, I'm no longer.... that..." [Y/N] spat out, glaring dangerously at Langa. "You took everything away from me. You ruined my life!" They yelled, all the feelings they tried to bottle in exploded. Langa watched with a shook expression as they ranted off on him. He may be dense to others' emotions but he could pick up the hurt in [Y/N]'s voice. The way they trembled with rage. He didn't like that. Langa didn't like seeing them upset. Especially when hd was the one who caused it.

"I'm sorry."

[Y/N] paused, staring at Langa with wide eyes. Their frown grew deeper as they tried to find any sort of pity or joke in his baby blue eyes. In which they felt like they were looking at the ocean. So blue. Like the sky. [Y/N] shook their head rapidly, gritting their teeth.

"Oh, shut up. I don't need your pity. And I doubt you're sorry! Because of you, not only was I kicked out of S, I was kicked out of my home... Not like it ever felt like home anyway..." They said, mumbling the last words but Langa caught them.

"Wait? Home... Where were you staying at?" Langa asked, voice filled with concern. [Y/N] scrunched their nose, eyes narrowed. "I swear, I'm not pitying you. I'm actually... worried. I've been worried for a long time now. Ever since you left S." Langa said, looking away from them, sudden feeling timid for no particular reason. They raised a brow, watching Langa's movements to fact-check his worries. There was no hint of him lying. But they still kept their guard up. "I even asked around back in S for the past few weeks. Not one single person said anything...It's like you-"

"-never existed." They continued for him softly, eyes casted down to the ground. Their features relaxed but Langa noted the sadness stayed. No anger in sight. They sighed tiredly, running a hand through their hair. "Doesn't matter... Just stop it." [Y/N] crossed their arns over their chest, raising a brow. "Beside, the hell you kept asking about me? Aren't you happy I've been kicked?"

Langa shook his head right away once the question next their lips.

"No. I'm not happy. In fact, I..." Langa took a deep breath, trying to think on his words before they left his mouth. "I'm not enjoying myself." He mumbled, making [Y/N] take a step closer to hear him properly. They tilted their head, lips tugged down a bit as they urged him to repeat himself and keep going. "It makes me sad not to see you at S anymore. I didn't want any of that to happen. I didn't even know what was going on." Langa shrugged, looking at them with a pout. A pout they found adorable. He looked like a kicked puppy who didn't like the fact their owner left their home everyday. [Y/N] mentally cringed at the thought. What were they thinking? This was the same guy who went up against their brother and banned them from S. They hated him. They were supposed to hate him. [Y/N] clicked their tongue, throwing Langa off the sense, wondering if he said anything wrong. A faint red hue decorated their cheeks. They turned their back on him, hugging themselves.

"Whatever. Whether you knew what was going on or not, doesn't matter. My board got destroyed and I can't go back to S. Everything happened..." [Y/N] whispered, arms slowly fell back to their sides as they watched the sun beginning to settle down for the rest of the day. "I've got nothing... I've got no one-"

"You got me." Langa butt in. The words made them do a double take on him. It caught them off guard. And Langa continued to surprise them. A determined glint in his eyes as he stepped closer. "Reki can build you a new board and we can all skate. Together. We can skate outside of S, anyway. It'll be fun!" Langa bounced a bit in his steps, smiling brightly. "We can hang out together. And if you don't have a job, you can work with Reki and me. You even move in wi-"

"Stop..."

"We can go to school togeth-"

"Stop it."

"You got us! So, you don't have to wor-"

"Shut up!"

Langa blinked, taken back by the sudden outburst from [Y/N]. He focused back on them, confused why they told him to quiet down. Their brows knitted down, hands clutched by their side. The sunset shoned behind them. The soft breeze brushed against their figure out. And if Langa squinted, he could had notice their faint blush reddened slightly. They looked cute. He wanted to see them blush again.

"Just... why are you doing this?" They asked, their eyes looking anywhere but Langa. They were shy. They found it unbelievable but it happened. They were shy.

Langa stared at them for a moment, making [Y/N] nervous.

"Because I like you."

Those words froze [Y/N] on the spot. Their eyes widen, lips parted slightly. The words ran through their mind like an echo. Langa's charmed smile implanted with it.

"And I want to be your friend."

Impossible.

"That's..." [Y/N]'s face was burning up. Cheeks redder they matched their eyes. "That's stupid." They blurted out quickly, taking a step back. Langa frowned a bit, not unexpecting that sort of answer to his confession. A confession they weren't sure if they were happy about or sadden by it.

"No one wants to be my friend. No one likes me... That's what they always told me." [Y/N] took another step back, brows knitted down but not in anger but in sorrow. Every step they took back, Langa takes one forward. "I'm unlovable... I don't... deserve it." The young former skater shook their head, as if snapping into reality. Tears welled up on their eyes. "You don't like me. You don't. You don't, you don't, you don't, you don't," They repeated quietly, hugging themselves as the tears rolled down their cheeks. Langa panicked. He didn't wanted to upset them. What they said made him wonder who told them such statements. They trembled and he didn't know what to do.

Except for one thing. And he hoped he don't get slap doing so.

Arms wrapped around their frame, a hand on their head as the other rest on their lower back. The hand stroke their head as the other ran their back in a circular form. Langa closed his eyes, hugging [Y/N] closed to him.

"Shh... shh... It's okay, [Y/N]..." He whispered. "Whoever told you those things, they... they don't know what they're talking about." Langa took a deep breath. "But I'm telling the truth. And you do deserve it." He pulled away a bit, cupping their face with his hands and made them looked at him. "I like you. I like you very much. And even though I want to be more, I do want to be your friend." Langa smiled genuinely, blue eyes staring into red ones. "So, please... let me be your friend."

[Y/N] stared at Langa, stunned in his embrace. The blush darkened as Langa continued. They couldn't believe it. Their heart pounded little by little with every word Langa spoke. The hands on their face felt nice. The comfort hug was something they never experienced. They only got hurt by the hands of those who dared say they loved them. But, for whatever reason, they trusted Langa's words.

"Please... don't hurt me..."

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ironwoodprotectionsquad · 2 years

Note

just saw a take in the anti-rwde tag so bad i had a whole allergic reaction /hj

it was about how rewrites are NEVER good because it ignore's the writers' work, and that if you make rewrites you never actually enjoyed the content.

like okay, i guess AU writers hate the content they pull from! because AUs do technically count as rewrites, just probably not what OP was thinking of (*cough* fixing rwby *cough*). actually, technically all fanfics are rewrites to some degree! fuck it! everyone who writes fanfic is actively ignoring the writers' hard work! damn!

sorry for disagreeing, but i personally think making rewrites means you're more passionate than if you were to just passively consume the content you were given! because you're putting effort into ignored characters, dropped plot threads, unexplored worldbuilding and lore, etc.! who are you to judge if someone's way of appreciating content is wondering how things could have gone differently, expanding on what the writers' didn't pay attention to? there is NOTHING WRONG with wanting to rewrite something, whether it's because you're just curious about how things could go differently or if you're unsatisfied with what you got. hell, even the rewrites i HATE i still hold some respect for because damn, take it from someone who tried and gave up, making rewrites is HARDDDD, ESPECIALLY for a show like rwby with so many characters and other factors to take into consideration

anyway, sorry for ranting in your askbox lol, i'm just so....jesus christ that take made me MAD.

Hey anon! First off never EVER apologize for ranting in my inbox! I don’t mind, I know sometimes venting out your frustrations can help you feel better. I do that a lot on my blog when something annoys me so I get how therapeutic it can be.

Secondly I have never gone into the anti-rwde tag because I know I would die after a few posts. I will stick to the RWDE and James Ironwood tags where I belong lolZ.

Regarding the meat of this ask, holy shit I just- why just why? How can you look at a show like RWBY that regularly and actively takes things like themes and character arcs and say that someone making a rewrite doesn’t love the original subject? People don’t waste time on things they don’t care about. We have limited free time to do shit we’re not going to waste it working on a project that does absolutely nothing for us.

I have a morbid curiosity for what they think of AUs because how this person describes it, they should be even worse then rewrites because aus fundamentally completely overturn what the original work was. It’s all about taking the characters you love and plopping them in something completely different from their canon universes. It is literally about exploring the infinite possibilities that a universe holds. Personally I almost exclusively write in Aus in anything longer then a one or two shot. They’re just so much more interesting to me to explore because I love seeing how minor things change the bigger picture and what these characters do.

Hey you know everyone is allowed to have their own opinions and they literally don’t hurt anyone just like how rewrites and AU’s aren’t hurting anyone. They’re a way someone expresses their love for whatever it is the rewrite or Au is for just like fanart. Just because their are certain things one would change doesn’t mean they still don’t enjoy the base media the rewrite is for. Their is always something that we love in it what’s why we create for it.

I may not like every rewrite or au or whatever for any fandom I love but I still respect the work put into it because these fics take a lot of work and time and effort and writers do this for free. Their is no way to get any compensation for fic writing yet people do it anyways because they love the thing being written about and this is how they express that love. That whole sentiment is just insane for me and reeks of a mega fan refusing to understand that their precious show might not be perfect and that sometimes people might have a better idea for something. Or even if it isn’t it still has value and these mega fans are just wrong about it not having value. As I said it takes time and effort and people won’t waste time on something they don’t care about or enjoy it helps no one and trying to pretend otherwise is just insane to me.

#rwde #rwby crititical #rwby critique #fans behaving badly #fndm behaving badly #answered ask #anon ask

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scarawayfromfallingapart · 3 years

Text

but The (After)life of the Party is one of THOSE songs to me that’s like… to be cliche… a kick drum beating in my chest (again) like idk. This is one of those songs where I think they succeeded in writing it better than I’ve ever felt it but here I go trying to analyze it anyway… I realize I am taking your shtick @petewentzisblack1312 … but this song NEEDS to be analyzed and I am going to try and make you like it :) I have been lurking in ur asks as an anon for a couple weeks and I HAVe to say this off anon… I’m sorry to bother u. My greatest hits include my autotune does not equal bad/talentless rant and my Wilson (Expensive Mistakes) mini-analysis 🤪 but also I learn SO MUCH from ur blog I love it. Anyway!!! Analysis of this song:

Tw : mania, depression, anxiety, substance use

To me this song is about coming down from a manic episode, maybe not even necessarily transitioning right into depression but like. Just coming down from it and kinda seeing the world as it is again, and feeling that kind of mellowed out, where your body allows itself to feel tired again. The title makes it more obvious - he’s no longer the life of the party - it’s over, everyone’s gone home, but he’s still there trying in vain to carry it on.

“I’m a stitch away from making it and a scar away from falling apart” is my FAVORITE line (hence my URL lol)… but the fact that this song opens with that and the narrator is oscillating between feeling 100% and feeling like they’re going to breakdown like THAT is what these transitions feel like to me (ok also I generally feel like this on a daily basis). But this line also gives you a hint of how well it is going… like he’s a stitch away from getting there - the cut hasn’t completely healed so he’s not getting there any time soon : but a scar away from falling apart - like a scar has already healed so it’s old hurt that is threatening to tear him apart —> “my old aches become new again”.

Then we get “blood cells pixelate” which I personally find hilarious since this song has been likened to the sims 3 soundtrack 💀 (I played the sims but I refused to have the music on so I have no idea cannot confirm or deny). Butttt this is obviously like a nod to everything being on film like even everything down to the blood coursing through his veins is made into an image, poster boys for your scene am I right? Also has to do with the scar/stitch - his breakdown is there for everyone to see, immortalized on magazine covers and interviews and E!News segments. But like only the blood cells, like no one gives a damn if he heals from this, thats not newsworthy. Eyes dilate (drugs and/or sex but maybe drugs Bc of the next line - full moon pills got him out on the street at night) butttt mania often comes with insomnia as we well know so. Maybe the pills are metaphorical idk

THEN the narrator becomes an observer - it’s no longer introspective, he’s watching someone else work the room, he’s cutting all ties to them loose, just sitting back and relaxing and watching and I always had this vision of Pete and/or patrick watching some girl flit around the room while he sat there with a lazy smile and drank a beer and leaned back in his chair. BUT on thinking on this more… I think- bear with me - maybe… just maybe… he’s watching himself outside of himself like some kind of dissociative thing (I personally experience that but it’s due to anxiety but it is common among just the general population so who knows) and it’s like you’re feeling that irritable high from the manic phase still and you’re trying to push through and just be part of this party right (or just part of life in general right, like the party is metaphorical IMO) and you separate form yourself in order to get through - your mind and body are not one. You have to watch yourself from the inside out, rely on muscle memory to get you through the party or your job or the tour or whatever it was in his case.

also tying back to I’m a stitch away - right like some part of you is cut in half and I’m a scar away - again, you were cut somewhere, something was severed, mind and body maybe… big brain hours (but also I’m probably reaching for that one)

Anyway then we have the “put love on hold” bc fuck if he’s ready for a relationship - he’s watching this girl desperate for stardom, maybe it’s the girl he’s watching work the room (if it’s not a dissociative thing, or maybe it’s both tbh). Her nose runs ruby red (cocaine is probably the cause I’m thinking, she’s doing lines at this party to be working the room). Death’s in a double bed (orgasms… nice one Pete) but really it’s a classic tale of a girl desperate for roles that she’s willing to sleep around to get there, she’s singing songs that could only catch the ear of other desperate people like her… but… Pete is writing THIS song and Patrick is singing it and they are just as desperate, right, like he’s helplessly watching someone enjoy a party and he’s verging on miserable (or he’s watching himself try to enjoy the party while he’s actually miserable) and they’re trying to catch our ears… we are the desperate… —> “I’m here to collect your hearts/it’s the only reason that I sing”

Then the bridge is where he starts to actually breakdown, the vocals get more intense and strained and chaotic, the sims 3 soundtrack music swells, and he repeats the beginning, reiterating that but adding on “kiss away young thrills and kills on the mouths of all of my friends” - to me he wants to take away all their joy and pain (kills could also = orgasm if u want to be nasty lol and tie it into the death in a double bed) and he wants to feel it for himself because right now he feels NOTHING like he’s right in the goddamn middle of feeling great and feeling like shit and again, to me that exemplifies the transition between mania and depression and we are back to square 1 (to me also thrills = mania and kills= depression but that’s just probably dumb lol).

Also he’s kissing it all away - it’s gentle, it’s loving, like brushing someone’s tears away, he’s not trying to be forceful about it, but he feels like HE should be experiencing all the highs and lows not his friends… or he doesn’t want his friends to suffer… both probably and the chorus is unhinged this time, patrick gives it his all, loses it, signifying hey wait, the narrator DID lose it… but then the song ends with the music coming off that swell, slowing down, relaxing, the narrator resignedly signing off “I’m a stitch away”… giving us maybe an etch of hope, that maybe his stitches healed after all and he did make it through (with hearts and wrists intact I am so corny sorry)

ANYWAY tldr I love this song and it means so much to me and like when I was 15 and found it the first time I was always like “why does this one hurt me so bad, like I don’t get it” but like. Now that I know what bipolar disorder is and that I suffer from it I understand lol. I don’t know if this is how Pete intended this idk I feel like I got some lines right but to ME this is what it feels like. Also it is v fun to play on the violin :)

#fall out boy #infinity on high #ioh #fob #the afterlife of the party #plz don’t think this is weird ://///: I have thoughts #I recently found out I have bipolar so I am rethinking everything tbh #my depressive phases tend to be wayyyy worse like to the point I completely isolate and push people away #so that watching from the outside feeling is what I feel like a lot #not to mention the dissociative feelings from my anxiety :))) fun times #I tend to just experience hypomania so I am aware I do not feel the full extent of how destructive those feelings can be #I am not trying to glorify mania in anyway believe me #this was very long I expect approximately no one to read this and maybe that’s for the best lmao

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fanfictiondreamscape · 4 years

Text

Average? Darling...

Request: Hi! I saw requests were open so I was wondering if you’d be ok with doing Headcanons with Undertaker and Sebastian with a s/o who doesn’t really think their pretty? Like they don’t think their ugly or anything, just mundane and average so they just think people are being nice and don’t really mean it when they’re told they look pretty? (Sorry this is long, I wanted to make sure I made sense) thanky and I hope you’re doing well amidst the chaos going on!

Title: Average? Darling...

Genre: fluff, mayyyybe a little bit angsty (yay insecurities!) (emphasis on mayyyybe)

Pairing: Undertaker/Sebastian Michaelis x Fem!reader (separate)

Notes: This made me so happy to see. Literally. Anon, thank you for requesting this!

That said, I totally understand this idea and outlook, and I still struggle with thinking of myself in a way that isn’t seen as absolutely hideous or terribly average. I can only escape that through cosplay, and I absolutely hate taking almost an hour or two putting on makeup just to feel drop-dead gorgeous for thirty minutes.

Anyway, you can ignore that little tirade if you want! I tried to make it as realistic as possible (from my experience), so I hope it lives up to what you like. Otherwise, thank you for saying that - I hope you’re doing well, too! (It didn’t come out trippy this time, yES-)

It is also a female reader default, so I apologize if that isn’t what you expected. It seemed to flow better for me personally, so I just rolled with it.

Below the cut!

Undertaker

surprisingly, out of these two, i find the undertaker would be more inept here

because while both him and sebastian are not human and can barely understand certain human emotions,

one has had more basic observation and interest than the other

that ‘other’ being undertaker

from what i can remember, i can only assume that he would have focused his attention towards his over-the-top plans to screw with the reapers, demons, and angels

but that’s not the whole point right now

to cover how your relationship happened, you would have had to know him for a while

and he probably would have only come to realize that he had feelings for you after he got to know you

so to sum that up: your personality is sexy to him.

that was the first thing that he was attracted to, but your appearance?

that was a bonus

so when you stop and say that you aren’t anywhere near as beautiful as people say, he just tries to get you to admit that you are wrong within a few minutes

“i’m really not as beautiful as they claim, undertaker.”

“dear, that is not a funny ‘joke’.”

“i’m not joking, darling, i’m nowhere near as beautiful as people claim i am.”

he jumps into a tirade

i don’t make the rules, okay? he just does.

and it involves many, many, many instances of your beauty.

your eyes?

they glitter and almost glow in the shadows and light in the most attractive manner.

your hair (or lack thereof)?

simply gorgeous, simply shining - quite beautiful

your figure?

quite fitting for the time, and quite a sight to see when walking.

to him, you are what an angel looks like, and you have the personality of one as well

a total package, if he must say so

but that is about where he would stop.

it doesn’t last long, but it does hold meaning and he refuses to let you believe anything else

but he may only step in and say something when it gets to be too much for you.

those times when your insecurities get the better of you?

he’s already on it, coffin open and ready for you to cuddle with him as he makes grand statements of your beauty

“your beauty truly reaches across centuries, across millenia - a quite haunting beauty if i may say so myself.”

“your eyes perfectly match your complexion, almost glowing against your countenance.”

“and darling, your figure...if i may, i must say that it is truly gorgeous...truly supple. it fits your clothing very well.”

(that last one was a lil bit sensual but hey - it was bound to happen at some point in this)

but every one of these times was very short.

eventually, though, his words started to make sense.

through those short little sessions, they worked somewhat.

i’d like to say that they worked almost immediately

but that is a blatant lie

again, this is undertaker

subtly only matters to him when it is a part of a scheme he has.

so that immediately negates any hint of it becoming extremely common, as that depends on how often you vocalize your thoughts on people’s compliments

but otherwise, they work a little bit.

in a weird way

(again, undertaker.)

but he tries, so make sure that he knows he has made you feel a little better

don’t lie, but don’t hesitate to tell him what you thought of his perspective

he covers it in his own little way, and you both don’t mind it too much. :)

Sebastian Michaelis

okay so

sebastian found you to be meager at first

but that was because you were shielded by a shadow and he only caught a glimpse of your outfit

when he caught you in full light though?

gorgeous.

he had held a distaste to angels, but you were one that he doubted he could stay away from

and because ciel had gotten tired of watching his butler fawn over you as you two worked together, he straight up demanded that he talk to you

and a butler can’t deny his master’s orders, can he?

from there, he grew to love you more

and though he will admit that he fell in love with your appearance at first, your personality was even more beautiful than you

so you can imagine his surprise when you told him that you were only average

he had caught you looking at yourself in the reflection in the glass of a window, and he became intrigued

was this simply a human thing?

possibly a female quirk, though he may have chalked it up to feminine mannerisms

but when you spotted him and he questioned your actions teasingly, you gave him the answer to his question.

“darling, may i ask why you are gazing at yourself?”

*shock*

“um, well - when you or someone else tells me i’m pretty, i don’t believe it.”

for once, pure and unadulterated shock presented itself on his visage

“dear, i must inquire why.”

“well, i’m not...’gorgeous’ as you claim. i’m simply average, nothing more.”

he had decided then and there to treat you as the sparkling darling that he knows and loves

“well, darling, i beg to differ.”

you and him then sat down and just talked.

unlike undertaker, who i feel would try to make his s/o feel gorgeous from the get-go

sebastian would be the type to get the point across over time

he’s observed humans for centuries, so he has the least amount of understanding

human insecurities cannot be mended within minutes, but rather longer

so he did the best that he could to make you feel better about your beauty

after all, he appreciates art in it’s finest form

and you fit into that category

so after reassuring you that you are just as gorgeous as others see you to be

(”your eyes are the most beautiful (e/c) i’ve ever seen.”)

(”your skin is quite glowing, much like you yourself do.”)

(”your body, too, darling - it’s to die for. just perfect.”)

he makes it a goal that you become completely aware of your beautiful

someone just complimented you and you reluctantly accepted it?

“darling, i promise you that you are gorgeous.”

another person just told you your beauty measures to that of madam red?

(don’t blame me, blame google - i tried to find more information, but this is set in the 1880s, not the 1890s, so gibson girls were barely there and were not yet considered the peak of beauty at the time. and after that mess, i went to see what characters were ranked highest and madam red was the highest ranked female on that list, at 14 i think, as the rest were male. due to that, and the fact that she is a doctor that must be fairly well known, she would be known and ogled - cuz lets face it, she is sinister, but she is also gorgeous.)

(sorry about that, let’s continue)

“they aren’t incorrect, my dear. you do truly glow, much like she does, but your’s is more bright.”

anyone compliments your figure when doing measurements and you tell him?

“as i have said, your figure is truly fair and quite admirable.”

sometimes, even when you were resting at either your’s or ciel’s manor, sebastian would make sure to remind you of your higher beauty

before you were to go to bed?

“dear, sleep well. i would say that you may want your beauty sleep, but you don’t need it when you’re already gorgeous.”

reviewing papers?

“your eyes, my darling - quite beautiful. they truly do sparkle.”

simply reading and resting?

“a beautiful brain and a beautiful appearance - my, my, you really are a gem to view, my love.”

you blushed every time, but the more he did what he did and said what he said

you slowly came to realize that you truly are as beautiful as others say you are.

and though you are aware that there are others out there that may be more beautiful

you now know that your beauty is much more prominent than that of the common female

and your realization made sebastian all the more giddy

(well, as giddy as he could get - remember, demon!)

(and again, that little rant earlier, i-)

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i-simp-for-gintoki · 4 years

Text

Shikamaru with an Uchiha!S/o

“I saw that you did a Yamanaka!s/o for that anon, it was great! Can I ask for another one with Shikamaru, but this time with a Uchiha!s/o? Like, idk, if Sasuke had a twin sister and she stayed on the village, but she's a shinobi too? And she uses a sword like her brother, and some people of the village look at her suspiciously because of what her brother did? Thank you!!!” -anon

This came out kinda way longer then i meant it too be and wasn’t 100% focused on you and shikamaru so im sorry about that.

Oh b o y

Where do i even start?

Being an uchiha, especially directly related to sasuke did not make you look good what so ever

You two were close at one point, inseparable even, but once your elder brother slaughtered your whole clan, you both kinda drifted a bit.

Don’t get me wrong, sasuke still cared for you and vice versa but he was much more cold and closed off about his feelings

No more “lets train to impress nii-san, y/n-chan” type of shit anymore

You still tried to remain a bit positive, and be nice to others unlike your brother

You didn’t agree with wanting to kill Itachi, because what good would that bring? How would killing someone because they killed solve anything?

During the first few years of school, shikamaru might not care much for you

Just another classmate in his eyes

Might even have a few negative thoughts in the back of his mind since you guys are twins

He never cared for sasuke since he’s never anything but an ass to people

And when he’s not he’s acting like a cocky shit

He thought you guys acted the same but that proved to not be the case when he saw you outside of class once

He was out getting some dango at a new place with choji and thats where he saw you

He didn’t really want to greet you but much to his surprise you greeted them with a smile

Even offered some of your dango and choji was extremely grateful for that

You guys held a pleasant conversation and ever since then have hung out at the dango place after school

After you guys became official shinobi, you didn’t have time to hang out every day but you did when you had the chance

You once got shikamaru to wear his headband actually on his head instead of his arm and boy did he look stupidly handsome

During some point in the chunnin exams, you noticed your brother’s desire for power has grown an alarming amount

It was no longer “lets train and ask our sensei’s to give us jutsu” but “I will do anything and everything in order to gain more strength”

It honestly scared you and so you went to shikamaru and ranted about it

He acted annoyed that you went on and on about someone he didn’t care for, but did truly listen to your words

“Don’t worry, its just his teenage angst faze kicking in.” “...maybe” “I’m pretty sure everyone gets it, it’ll pass” “Even you?” “my emo faze lasted three whole minutes as i watched choji eat the food i was looking forward to all day”

Sasuke basically stopped showing emotions to you after the exam and it really saddened you

He basically treated you as someone he lived with

Not family or friend but like “oh thats my room mate i guess”

You were out with shikamaru when sasuke ran off to find naruto, he didn’t bother to explain and you honestly didn’t care

He wants to brawl with the loud blonde? Go for it

What you didn’t know is that he would run into Itachi

Or that itachi joined some terrorist group

You didn’t hear this news until later on when your sensei sat you down and explained the situation

shikamaru cheered you up as best as he could

when the Nara became chunin, instead of sitting besides sasuke all day who was recovering from a mission, you hung out with him

Sasuke wasnt that injured anyways and he may or may not have told you to quit worrying about him

called him handsome and he basically turned into a tomato

got some bbq with his friends and when ino started commented about minding your weight and looks and stuff you kinda became slightly insecure in the moment

he cheered you and choji up by making a few jokes

you gave him a peck on the cheek and dude he had such a dumb smile on his face

ah man ive written too much and havent even reached shippuden yet im sorrryyy

lets speed threw this then

when sasuke left the village you were distraught but he did his best to cheer you up

reassured you he and his team will bring him back

you wanted in the mission and he was hesitant about it

you were a damn good kunoichi and you also had the sharingan too so that could help

he eventually agrees

when yall fail the mission you cry because your emo duck-bitch of a twin didnt even bother to say good bye

Shikamaru does his best to make you feel better but he feels so guilty

he sincerely apologizes and chokes up a bit when hes talking about how he failed the mission and broke his promise on getting him back

you hug him and say its okay

from then on you guys get closer than ever

You dont remember exactly when but you got a sword, almost like a katana

you learn how to use it and love it

Add some fire or lightning to it, man you feel like a bad ass

you carry it everywhere with you

little do you know you basically chose the same sword as sasu-gay

by the time shippuden starts, shikamaru awkwardly asks you out and you agree

as much as shikamaru loves you, the village doesnt think to well of you

your eldest brother slaughtered your clan and joined a terrorist group

and now your twin goes rouge and is proceeding to head down a darker path with orochimaru

they probably expect you to do something similar

some people even think that you only stayed in the village so you can give them intel and sell out the leaf’s secrets

basically the village cares for you as much as Tobirama did for the uchiha

not too much.

in fact if you were gone they could finally be free of any uchiha

If your bothered by those rumors or things people say, shikamaru can’t really do anything to stop them

But he can do his best to take your mind off it

Might get you some dango and say to go cloud watching, or nap under some tree to let you relax

But remember this isn’t a one way relationship, you do stuff for shikamaru as well

When he was feeling stressed (though he didn’t really show it) about planning the next chunnin event, you gave him a massage and just let him relax

You got him his favorite food and took him to his favorite hill

He doesn’t really rant or talk a lot about his problems

He’s too lazy too and doesn’t feel like its that important

You make it clear to him that every opinion he has matters

You two some times go on little small lunch dates

Ino and choji are always somewhere in the background watching

Ino probably comments that you got the uchiha good looks and with out thinking shikamaru just agrees

Definitely became embarrassed when ino squealed and shook him around

Ah man there is actually to much drama around sasuke and itachi in shippuden and im lazy so lets forget about that

I think shikamaru with an uchiha!s/o would probably be an 8/10 experience depending on how angsty you get

#Shikamaru x reader #shikamaru headcanons #shikamaru #naruto headcanons #naruto imagines

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mrskurono · 3 years

Note

Im the anon with the previous Makki ask! You’re totally valid on your view and absolutely it is ridiculous how Makki is either brushed aside or has been interpreted really poorly in fanon! He totally is his own person. Wishing you a quick recovery from the nerve pain! I’d be pissy too from that and any other annoyances.

Pls know I wasn't mad at you at all anon!! I actually adore Mattsun. He's basically a 6'2 version of my wife and I don't mind the ship or poly ship at all (as I've written a few things for it before)

Just the combo of shit fanon Makki and then some cunt weasel decided to reblog my Makki content just to bash on him pissed me off this morning (which I've been cranky for a few days it didn't help)

Makki is terrific and if we're being honest I've probably had a crush on him longer than I realized (for I am dumb as shit) And I just hate people saying they "like" Makki only to find out they like a cucked Makki who just tags along with Mattsun. They're friendship is great but jfc people Makki is still his own person as is Mattsun.

The narrative that Makki is dumb, lazy and useless drives me batshit. Sure he wasn't in college prep classes but he wasn't below average either. And he wasn't some stand alone jokester that only fucked with people. He was engaging and encouraging to his underclassman and regularly praised and was kind to both Kunimi and Kindaichi. (I mean for fucksake he got Kunimi to engage with him more than anyone else could get Kunimi to) And he was mature and present during games and times with the other grads. Not to mention he was literally the same position as Iwa. An outside hitter is no slouch job he was Seijoh's second ace and everyone just thinks he's lazy? (Which brings me back to the eye narrative we had a few weeks back but thats a different rant) There's just so much subtle context to Makki people push out of the way when they see timeskip Makki is between jobs. So what? I'm not working and haven't been for some time (extending prior to being pregnant too) so people who don't work are lazy and just don't have the motivation? That's bull crap and a lame excuse to wanna pigeon hole Makki's character. The same crap happens with my other favs and istg I'm just really good at picking characters people like to sweep under the carpet 🙄

Anyways sorry for the rant! None of that was directed at you anon <3 Only at every twat waffle in the hq fandom who thinks Makki is 1. Ugly 2. Lazy and 3. Useless without Mattsun <3 If y'all are either of those three then kindly gtfo people <3

#also thank you about the nerve pain #it flares up during my period after having my son and its just such a bitch to deal with #hopefully your Wednesday is going well!#im getting my ac and heating fixed so i don't have suffer in 100 degree weather during fire season #im excited <3 <3 <3 #three.talks #anon #hq!!#haikyuu #haikyuu!!#makki #hq makki #hanamaki takahiro

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irwinkitten · 4 years

Text

got lucky | c.h

requested by anon: ok so for the bi!reader concept: last year i ended my relationship w this girl the main reason was because she was really insecure and jealous especially about me being bisexual like anytime i would talk to a guy she would just get so upset about it and she would make such gross biphobic comments and at the time i had so much internalised biphobia that i tried to convince myself i was gay n stayed in the relationship longer than i should have because i rly liked her i guess lol anyways (1/4) we ended and a while afterwards i started seeing this guy who i’d known of for ages (friends of friends type situation) but we just never really talked before or hung out but from the first date we clicked and the sex was crazy good like the type of sex were ur ditching ur vibrators cuz he’s that good lmao so one weekend we went to this party together and of course she is also there, i was so surprised and i could see her eyeing us the whole night, so when she came over i was anxious af (2/4) and this guy knew i was bi! it was no secret, i worked really hard to accept myself! so she comes over and she deadass goes “are you straight now? i knew you would end up with a man!” and she’s all smug but also hurt and im standing there like what the fuck and THEN this dumb man goes “ha guess the sex is so good i made her straight again” and i’m literally about to cry over how gross the whole interaction is and im so shocked i can’t even defend myself, i dumped him that night obviously (3/) last messgae: so basically can you pls do a redo of the gross situation where instead of being with that dumb guy its with calum and he is so protective n sweet n NORMAL n encourages u to stand up for urself about bisexuality / your sexuality, because what happened to me happens too often and its disgusting and gross and no one deserves that!! only if u feel comfortable/inspired tho, no pressure!! love u laura, thank u for creating such a safe space for all the queer babies it means a lot 💘 notes: i kinda enjoyed writing this one esp for my sweet anon baby. i love u and i hope this is everything you wanted ♥ warnings: biphobia, implications of emotional abuse

word count: 3.2k

donate to my ko-fi here

“Hey what’cha doing sweets?” Calum’s voice pulled you from your musings, your hand idly tracing patterns against the paper but the pen remaining on the desk. You wrenched your thoughts from the spiral you seemed to have fallen down, a smile crossing your lips as you felt your heart flutter at the sight of him.

“Nothin’. Just thinking.” You finally replied as he pulled up one of the spare chairs next to you, the bustling activity of the coffee shop falling into your background noise as his thigh pressed against yours.

“Really? Normally you doodle when you’re just thinking.” He countered with ease and your eyes dropped to the paper, noticing that the pen remained where you’d placed it when you first sat down. Subconsciously you must’ve realised that the route your thoughts had gone were not suitable to put down on paper, your fingers picking up the pen and mind falling blank immediately.

“Oh.” You breathed before placing the pen back down and packing away the pad and pen.

“What’s running through your head, doll?” Calum’s voice was quiet and concerned, you shrugged.

“Just, a lot on my mind is all. You’re not my keeper just because we’ve slept together.” You admitted quietly and he frowned before picking up his bag and for a sinking second you thought he was going to walk off, but instead, he took your bag from your hands and slung it over his shoulder.

He looked back at you expectantly and you sighed before standing up, leaving the coffee shop with him, your eyes on the floor as you fell into step next to him.

“Your place or mine?”

“E’s gonna be home and I don’t want to hear them rant about me bringing people back.” You muttered and Calum nodded.

“I think Ash is out. He’ll probably head out to Luke’s if I show up with you.” At his smirk, you rolled your eyes fondly before shoving him towards the bus stop. His indignant “hey!” was only ignored as you two waited for the bus, his arm slung over your shoulders.

Selfishly, you leaned into his touch, trying to ignore the fact that your stomach was doing flips at his touch alone.

The bus journey was a quiet ten minutes, but Calum seemed to understand that you weren’t willing to talk with so many people around, so he was content to just keep you close, and you were unwilling to pull away until his stop came up.

When you reached his shared house with Ashton, you noted that the car was gone from the driveway and Calum smirked.

“Looks like he’s out. C’mon.” His hand tucked around yours and pulled you inside. And for a second you wondered if you could distract him with sex, but then the guilt appeared and you could feel the tears of frustration appear as your thoughts swirled and you felt dizzy.

Calum had stepped ahead, turning to see you stood leaning against the closed door, head in your hands and he knew something was wrong. Stepping back to you, he dropped your bags and took your hand in his, pulling you upstairs to his room and your stomach twisted uncomfortably.

“Cal I-”

“I’m not suggesting that.” He muttered. You fell silent at that and as he pulled you into his room, you felt unsure, but he gave you no chance to really deny him as he crawled into bed before opening his arms out to you.

“Cal.”

“I know you. You don’t do emotional stuff well but I’m here for a cuddle and an ear if you need it.” You fell into the embrace easily, your head resting on his chest as his arms wrapped around your shoulders, his lips finding your temple as you finally felt something in you snap, the surge of emotions overwhelming and frighteningly vivid.

“I keep telling myself that I never was a lesbian, that I still found men attractive but Poppy made me feel like having that attraction was stupid since I was dating her and that I was a lesbian and it’s so fucking confusing because I like you, but I can hear her voice screeching that I’m not right, that I’m a lesbian or faking it or a freak.” And for the first time since you left Poppy, you cried.

Calum had been waiting for this. When the split had happened, you’d been ready for it, you’d already left her mentally, but this was what he knew you needed. He knew that the relationship with her had been toxic, but you’d never revealed the extent of her behaviour.

His heart broke.

“Just because you like both men and women does not mean you should feel so guilty over your sexuality. There’s a B in LGBT for a reason, doll. That’s you. You’re bisexual and you should be proud of that, not ashamed because some bitch with a control issue couldn’t handle the fact that you liked more than women.”

You found yourself gripping his shirt with your fists as you pressed your face into his chest, trying to stem the tears that seemed relentless. But Calum held his silence whilst you got it out of your system, knowing that you needed to get this off your chest.

“I’m sorry.” You finally got out, but he simply shushed you.

“She was a shitty person with an attitude to show. You shouldn’t apologise for the bitch.” His words were simple but it gave you a breath of ease, pulling away as hands rubbed your shoulders gently.

He was definitely too good to you, but he was there for you regardless and you were certain that you loved him for that.

“There’s gonna be a party on the other side of town in a couple of weeks. Ash took over the old Firefly down on Hartley. He’s revamping before opening the bar to the public. You fancy going?” And you smiled at the gentle distraction he was offering.

“We get at least a free drink if we show up, right?” And Calum laughed as he kissed your temple.

“He wouldn’t say no to me. Or you. In fact, I’m almost certain he’s expecting me to do full introductions on that night since Luke and Mike will be there with the others and their girls.” You rolled your eyes.

“It’s not like I went to school with Luke or anything.” Came your sarcastic retort and Calum laughed as the two of you settled for the evening.

“Pretty sure Luke last saw you when you started dating Poppy. He’s put two and two together but he won’t say anything unless you mention it. Even then he knows it’s not his place.” Your heart seemed to swell another size in affection for Luke.

“You’re making it difficult for me to not fall in love with you Cal. Good dick, you know how to use those lips and fingers of yours, you make me feel like I belong and you respect boundaries without me having to ask.” You finally muttered and Calum gave you an almost wistful smile.

“You may have been with Poppy but that didn’t stop me from being friends with you. You’re someone I’ve genuinely cared about from day one. Not gonna chuck that away because of who you are. Plus growing up with my mom and sister almost made certain I’d be in touch with my feminine side.” He teased but the sincerity and understanding in his tone eased your shoulders.

Your features softened at the admittance and you pressed a kiss to his cheek.

“Then I definitely got lucky to have you in my life at least, falling in love or not.”

—

When the day of the party rolled around, you felt sick with nerves and you couldn’t understand why.

When Calum rolled up to pick you up—he was driving to Luke’s who lived closest to the bar and you’d both get a ride back to yours before he picked up his car the following morning—he could see the nerves and the grimace on his face spoke volumes.

“What?” You all but demanded when you were debating outfits. He’d been sitting on the bed watching, but got up and held his hands out to you.

You took them hesitantly. His thumbs almost immediately started to soothe across the back of your hands to help relax you.

“Word has gotten around that Poppy is planning to show up. We haven’t exactly been quiet about our relationship, but I didn’t think she’d pull something like this.” And your stomach churned uncomfortably.

“We’re still going. Ashton promised free drinks and we’ll be in the VIP area right?” You checked and Calum nodded.

“Ashton has already told the bouncers that she’s not allowed near the VIP section. They’re checking and rechecking the lists to make sure she isn’t on one of them.” He explained and you let out a breath of air.

“Okay. It’ll be fine. It’s being handled and I’ve got you. Now which outfit do you think I should wear?” He studied your face for a second before a smile broke across his lips.

“The dark purple with the deep plunge. Is it wrong of me to flaunt in her face what she lost?” And you laughed as you kissed him.

“I mean, yes. But I also know that you want to show me off properly now that we’ve got things really settled.” You murmured and he grinned back unabashedly.

It was still an uphill battle, but he’d given you a lot to think about. And after gentle convincing, you’d found an LGBT friendly therapist who helped you process your thoughts. It helped you come to terms with accepting the toxic relationship that you’d been in but also it highlighted how beneficial Calum had been as a friend and confidant.

It also gave you the courage to ask Calum out officially, wanting to be with him entirely and not just in the evenings.

He took that in his stride and things shifted once more between the two of you. When you opened up to him about some of your sessions, you knew that your trust had been well placed because he never indicated anything to his friends and so you were never subjected to pitying stares or glares.

You were almost sure that you’d fall in love with him faster than you fell for Poppy.

The drive to Luke’s was filled with your nerves. You hadn’t seen Luke in years and you were also meeting his two other friends, Ashton and Michael as well as their partners.

“Ashton’s excited to finally meet you and stop telling me to be careful when I go to yours.”

Despite Calum living with Ashton, your schedules never seemed to match and more often than not, Calum could be found at your place, a small sanctuary from your hectic lives.

Ashton never begrudged that time you shared together, but Calum had mentioned a few times about how snappy he was being on the subject.

“He’ll chill when he realises I’m not out to break your heart or steal something.” You muttered with a chuckle. Calum snorted in return as he pulled into Luke’s driveway.

Your nerves return full force as he pulls you to the front door and steps in like he lives there.

“Hey fuckers, anyone about?” He called through and was met with calls of confirmation, another yell following that they were in the dining room. Your fingers squeezed Calum’s tightly and he didn’t hesitate to return it, his thumb soothing across the skin on the back of your hand.

“Look who it is!” A voice crowed loudly as he stepped into the dining room, followed by loud calls of greetings.

There was a flurry of introductions and you felt like the spotlight was being shone on you, under scrutiny from his best friends gazes once they had greeted their friend and Calum had introduced you. Or re-introduced you in Luke’s case.

“Well c’mon, the last time I saw you we were leaving school. What’s been happening to you?” Luke finally asked, indicating to the seat next to him. A small smile graced your lips as you sat down, Calum falling into the seat next to you as you shrugged.

“Life I guess? It’s been definitely more interesting with the different jobs and moving about. Building up a social life again.” Luke’s face filled with a frown at that.

Michael came in next.

“Building up a social life? Did you not have one?” His words held an innocent curiosity, yet you felt yourself hesitate.

“My ex was controlling to the point that I couldn’t do anything without their permission. They managed to make me believe that no one really wanted me around and I lost touch with old friends, like Luke.” You glanced to the side and he was frowning.

The others held varying degrees of stunned shock or disapproval.

“Well then he was a cunt.” Michael muttered and your eyes refused to meet theirs at the assumptions. Luke stayed quiet but his hand rested on your knee, squeezing it. You shot him a gentle smile in return.

“Well it’ll be good to have you back in our lives. Especially with these two knuckleheads.” He nodded at Ashton and Michael who immediately protested and you laughed.

It felt like you’d known them for years as you all had a few shots. Ashton, despite being the owner of the bar, wasn’t worried about turning up with his friends. He’d already explained to his staff that he’d be around for the rest of the night once he arrived and he’d told the small groups he’d be here and there.

After a handful of shots, the group of you made your way to the bar, your arm linked with Calum’s. There were separate conversations happening between you all, their girlfriends including you on their pamper night whilst the boys discussed a possible games night for all of you.

When you arrived at the club, you saw the queue of people waiting to get in and the subsequent groans from the line as the bouncer let you in, no questions asked.

Ashton guided the group of you to the VIP section and the music was still loud but you could still hear each other talking. You were chatting away with Luke’s girlfriend, arm still linked with Calum’s as Ashton disappeared to get drinks.

Calum pulled your attention away briefly, his lips by your ear.

“I’ve spotted her. She’s not seen us yet so don’t worry.” You barely nodded, acknowledging his words as you listened in, fighting to keep your nerves down.

The night continued and you were all a few drinks deep. Calum’s arm had barely left your waist all night as you talked and danced and drank. You’d been welcomed into his group of friends with an ease you never realised existed.

You’d deliberately not tried to seek out Poppy, silently praying that the universe would comply. But as the group of you stood out in the smokers area, huddled together under a heating lamp, your stomach sank as she stepped out, her eyes narrowing on you.

“Fuckin’ knew it!” You could feel the alarm in your face as you stepped back into Calum, his arm going around you protectively.

“Poppy, you’re drunk.” You felt curious gazes from your new friends, but you didn’t spare them a glance.

“You break up with me and go running to his arms, I knew you weren’t a fuckin lesbian. Pretending to try it out? Just another straight girl seeking attention. Fucking freak.” She snapped and your stomach sank.

“Get it through your thick head that she’s bisexual.” Calum snapped in your defence, earning a glare from Poppy. But Calum didn’t shrink from the glare, your glance to his face confirmed he was giving her his own. You were mildly impressed that she didn’t back down instantly.

“She’s a fuckin liar! Years of my life wasted on this bitch.” She spat at your feet and you took in a deep breath.

“You don’t get to control me anymore, Poppy. I’ve liked both men and women, but you never liked that because it meant that I had more chances of leaving you. And I wished I’d have left you sooner. Calum certainly thought so.”

“Of course you fucked the first man to pay you any attention.” Your heart sank once more at her declaration and you felt your mind fall into the old trap that you’d fought with for so long.

“No she never. In fact she slept with a few girls long before she slept with me. But I was her best friend as she tried to deal with the mess you created in her mind.” Calum snapped back. You felt your heart swell for him.

Poppy stepped forward, her hand raised but then Ashton stepped in front of you.

“Get out. You’re no longer welcome in this bar.” He made a gesture and security slowly made their way over.

“She shouldn’t be fucking welcome!” Poppy yelled back, but Ashton held firm.

“She is my friend. You are not. Get. Out.” When the bouncer rested a hand on her arm, she shrugged it off and stormed away. Your entire body was trembling.

“So that was the ex, huh?” Michael commented and you could feel your hands trembling as you nodded. “Why didn’t you correct me?” Calum spoke up for you as his hands took yours.

“It’s been a battle for her. Poppy had convinced her she was a lesbian, that she was wrong for having any attraction to men. In Poppy’s world, either your gay, lesbian or straight. Being bisexual isn’t acceptable in her eyes.” Calum’s arms wrapped around you and you stood there, holding onto him for dear life.

“Well that makes two of us then.” Michael’s casual comment had your knees go weak and you let out a weak laugh.

“Thank you Ash.” You finally murmured when you pulled away from Calum. Ashton didn’t hesitate to wrap his arms around you in a warm hug that was both comforting and reassuring.

“Hey, you’ve been the best thing for my best mate. And you were friends with Luke once before. I’ve definitely got your back. And I get why you didn’t say anything and don’t hold that against you.” He muttered and you breathed a sigh of relief before returning to Calum’s embrace.

“More drinks or are we gonna go back to Luke’s?” And you shook your head.

“Let’s stay. I’m not gonna let her ruin it,” you leaned forwards so your lips were by his ear as the others went inside, “also I want to see if we can christen the bar in one of the toilets.” You breathed. Calum groaned as his grip around you got tighter and he pulled you in for a kiss that promised more.

“Oh you’re so fucked sweetheart. Especially since I know where the individual lips are and they aren’t attended by anyone.” You held back a moan at that thought before pulling away, your hand in his.

“Dance first?” And the innocence in your tone made him laugh as he followed behind you willingly.

“Menace.” The term was laced with affection as he caught up to you, kissing the spot just below your ear.

You simply grinned in return as you pulled him onto the dance floor, Poppy long forgotten as he danced with you.

@sexgodashton, @goth5sos, @calumsmermaid, @empathycth, @wildflowergrae, @calpops, @rosecolouredash, @cal-puddies, @clockwork124, @loveroflrh, @stellar5sosrecs, @ashtoniwir, @cthla, @liketheydidwithyou, @sc0ttish-wildfl0wer, @bluehairedtracii, @drummerboy794, @feliznavidaddycal, @i-calumhood, @wokeupinjapanisabop, @converse-luke, @madbomb, @ccnicole02, @youngblood199456, @aulxna, @megz1985, @lukesidentitycrisis, @snapback-irwie, @neonweeknds, @666yourwitchyfriend666, @gamerboymike, @cashtonasfuck, @ashtaway, @conquerwhatliesahead92, @itjustkindahappenedreally, @twoamhood, @kchillout, @damselindistressanu, @colormekaykay, @findingliam-o, @sublimehood, @sugarcoated-pain, @singt0mecalum, @singledadharrington, @calumspeachy, @colourfulcalum, @lostincalum, @burncrashbromance, @asht0ns-world, @a-mnd, @flusteredcliffo, @loti18, @ixcantxdecidexwhosxmyxfave, @clumclum-hood, @fangirl-everythang, @lashtondaddies, @calumssunshine, @ambskiwi, @abundant-stars, @caltattoohood, @seedless-vascular, @myescapefromthislife, @lmao5sosimagines, @beyoncesdragon, @jae-writes-fanfiction, @cxddlyash, @tresfandom, @utterly-u-n-p-e-r-f-e-c-t, @niallisworld, @lietomevalntyn, @babylon-corgis, @monochrome44, @behind-my-hazeleyes27, @ghost0fy0u, @lyllibug, @bloodmoonashton, @balsamic-cal, @calumsbaldhead, @washedout-ky, @calumssunshinee, @ghostofmashton, @summerellaz, @a-little-less-sixteen, @cashworthy, @smokeinherlungs, @longlastingdaydream, @h0tsos, @sweetcherrymike, @5sosnsfw, @sugar-nico, @sunnysideblog, @angel-cal, @samros95, @maluminspace, @lukeinblue, @cakesunflower, @allamerican-betch, @britnicole11, @gigglyirwin, @everyscarisahealingplace, @loverofcashton, @iovehemmings, @g-l-pierce, @jannimoeller3, @wildmichaelflower, @lukeskisses, @5sossstan, @youngbloodchild, @alloutofcashton, @tobefalling, @abb-lan-5sos, @calumsbub, @flameraine, @here-for-the-uproars, @mateisit-balsamic, @ilovelukey, @sarahshepherdblog

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jooniely · 3 years

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i really want to know wth mxtx was smoking when she wrote svsss ,the premise was cool the first chapters were adorable and funny so how come it became soooooooo horrible, bingqiu is one of the worst toxic relationships ever, like it makes no fucking sense, one instance SQQ call LB a child the next they're in true love uwu ,The power inbalance is soo jarring ,LB literary never listens to a word SQQ says, hurts him,balantly disrespects SQQ friends ,coherce SQQ and guilt trip him into loving him, and leaving everyone he knows for him, what Binghe needs is a restraining order, and life long therapy and fix his daddy issues, but it seems that the majority of danmeis idea of love is toxic abusive relationships ,i am not against the ship , from the way the fans talked about Bingqiu i was looking forward to see their love blossom and them making up in a healthy way, but god was i dissapointed , like at least make it believable ,give them time to talk about their feelings ,clear the misunderstandings ,heal the wounds ,not whatever the hell that rape scene was about ,so is mxtx trying to tell us that raping the man you love with their consent "whatever the fuck this is supposed to mean " tormenting hurting and making them bleed ,is more important than them having a heart to heart conversation about the fuck ups they commited ,and showing how much they cherish each other , the fans will tell you that NO it's a deconstruction of the papapa to save the world trope ,like wtf is that even supposed to mean ,she deconstruct it by using the same awful shit

Anyway svsss was good at first and then it spiraled to complete nonsense ,it felt like mxtx just wanted to get it over with and move on, sooo much lost potentiel ,i recommend reading well written fix it fanfictions to get over the atrocity of canon, there are plenty of good liushen and qijiu fics out there

And sorry that i rambled a lot and for my bad english, i am just super dissapointed ,this wasn't what i signed up for when i read the many positive reviews

Hey anon let's be friends lol. I agree with everything here. You can clearly tell this was mxtx's first novel. Someone said they wrote it when they were in high school? So maybe it was also cuz they were young that it had some not so great things.

I finished the novel this morning and I was still NOT a fan. That scene was written in a way to make it seem like it was not sexjal assault but it clearly was. Binghe wasn't even mentally present and was not able to give consent and was terrified of what he did. This is the first time I saw the old binghe from the past come out. Shizun didn't give consent either. He basically just accepted his fate. You're right, how is it deconstructing a trope if you're gonna write the trope? And I think a lot of readers don't realize that this entire scene didn't need to happen. It was some bullshit reason that the author fully knew was bullshit. You have to wait for the special item to load? That's never happened, if it loaded right when shizun asked for it, then there would have not been that assault scene.

A lot of ppl use in universe reasons to explain why some things needed to be done but I'm here wondering why the author needed to add these things. At least let your characters suffer the consequences? Consequences for actions don't always mean getting hurt physically after making a wrong decision. It means after so much trauma, both binghe and shizun would barely be mentally functioning. Shizun's thoughts should have been a mess because this is his student but he also raised him and now that student is obsessed with him. One dream he meets old binghe and literally gets his limbs ripped then the next second sees baby binghe and he's okay after it. Even when he sees older binghe there's no residual fear.

With binghe being a psycho, and it being his sword that was poisoning his mind, why didn't someone immediately try to destroy the sword? Then when binghe is getting his therapy we could have explored the love between them.

As it stands I still don't see the love. I don't wanna read the extras to see whatever love that will develop there because those are extras. That shit should have been in the main book. But whatever I gave it a skim and literally already we got another assault scene. And old binghe wants shizun all of a sudden? The same one you repeatedly tortured?? Why???

Tbh old binghe and old shizun would probably get along well if shizun hadn't been abusive towards him cuz they were both psychos.

Shen yuan essentially looked like he just accepted whatever fate he had. Not once did I feel like he realized this world was his life now and not still some book, he's no longer and outsider. And also to just leave everything? It doesn't seem like to us but he spent years with his sect and qingge and qi ge. Oh my god the connection between old qingqiu and his child hood "friend" that should have been focused on more because in those few scenes we got so much material. So much emotional and complex scenes. I really hope there's a fic that explores this thread.

Anyways I still think their relationship is toxic. I know a lot of ppl still enjoy it and I'm okay with that as long as they know it's fictional. Some ppl are okay with toxic things as long as it's fictional but no matter what some say, it's scientifically proven that fiction affects reality. So as long as things stay fictional and ppl aren't looking at them and thinking this is okay or healthy then I have no issue. Not everyone will agree and understand each other so each side should stay on their own with one hating and the other loving, on their own.

I also ended up ranting lol. If u wanna talk more u can send another ask or just message me I don't mind! If u have read mxtx other works I would love to talk about them as well! Also you're English is perfect!

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seijch · 3 years

Text

ANNOUNCEMENT: NOT A HELLO, BUT NOT A GOODBYE EITHER

omg hi ... im like . ashamed to come back after saying brief hiatus in october and then disappearing off the face of the earth til FEBRUARY but under the cut i will be explaining myself and the following, if youre interested (and a tl;dr at the very bottom if you don’t wanna scroll thru this obnoxiously long post):

the reason(s) i was gone for so long

what i was doing during that time (its just a personal account yall can scroll past this idrc)

the status of those um . halloween requests

the future of this account

i. so . Hiatus .

i know. i know . i probably mentioned it when i made the announcement post, but my mental health likes to go on one of those rides. yknow the ones where you go like up rlly fast then down maybe and then up then DOWN .... its like that. i needed a break and every time i wanted to come back or thought about it, something would happen and i would get stuck in my own head.

a big reason for getting stuck in my head was (and i hate to admit this ... i hate to admit that i have Insecurities On The Internet) my feelings of inadequacy regarding my writing. i love to plot fics, i love concepts and characters and making little headcanons but i dont ... know if i love writing rn. and i thought for the longest time that like . whatever ill just push thru it its fine ill be fine but it kinda wasnt lmao you can kinda see it in my halloween reqs and what become of them when i get to that but i began to feel like nothing i had put out or would put out would hold up prose wise (and normally i dont feel like this im much more “idc its my life im living it” but thats not a rant for tumblr LMAO). i still feel like that -- like im better as a reader than a writer. but . You Know :-)

tl;dr: mental state go brrrrr

ii. anywhere here’s wonderwall

when i left, i was in a steadily decreasing mental and emotional state, made worse by a situation at work that really was a case of petty jealousy on my end and rlly isnt very consequential now despite how much pain and resentment it gave me when it Was a problem so i wont get into it. the tl;dr of november and december was me using work as an crutch and distraction -- i know my job, i do it well, it helped me not think about my responsibilities and obligations and inadequacies. of course, as the holiday season grew busier n busier i was scheduled so often that i moved 88 or so miles (according to my apple watch, which i ONLY wear at work since im never anywhere else outside my house) and fell into a cycle of showering n sleeping at my house before going back the next day. (theres definitely something to be said abt capitalism and “grind culture” here but once again its not the time or place snsjkdfds)

at the turn of the new year, i happened to remember a birthday card i hadnt filed away for safekeeping from a friend of mine that id been horribly out of touch with til that point. i started crying because i realized how out of touch id been in general up until that point. the month of january was great for me: i was focused, happy, and in a much better place than i had been before. the end of it brought me down focus wise and im hoping that enough time away from my distractions will refocus me bc i ... need it LMAO and though ive burned out from that level of productivity and gotten distracted again im ... trying to stay positive which i think is the most i can do 😁👍🏼

media wise, i got real into stardew valley (but burned out bc i played it extensively as a way to wind down after work), the pokemon platinum romhack renegade platinum (still havent finished it bc of school n i played it w the intent to see if i could nuzlocke it ... bitch its so hard but its so fun bc of it), briefly assassins creed: odyssey (im one of those ppl who completes an entire region before i move to the next so you can tell i burned out of that one + wouldnt have the time to properly devote to it even if i didnt), got back into genshin impact after pulling for xiao (after not touching it for like . months), and danganronpa. yes . danganronpa 😐 i Know. i stopped playing it after the second trial of the first game bc i was so hurt by the outcome and picked it up in late january only to get sucked in (thank god i had the foresight to buy the second and third games during the steam winter sale). rn im at the start of chapter 4 if anyone wants to come in my asks and um . talk to me abt danganronpa

tl;dr: I’m Into Danganronpa Now

iii. you realize halloween was three months ago right

i mentioned this in the first section, but i love to plot things. every request is plotted or at least has a solid foundation. i had fun detailing what concept i wanted to go with considering what i was given, and there were some bangers i might touch up in the future. but heres whats going to happen to the requests themselves:

there are two finished requests. one will be posted tomorrow and the other will be touched up (just bc i finished it doesnt mean its good 🧍‍♂️) and scheduled for next saturday. as for the ones i never got around to ...

i will not be finishing those requests. i hate to be That Person, but i feel like we all expected this 🧍‍♂️ what i will do is post all of my notes for each request in batches -- requests that have an @ to go with them will be mentioned in the post proper, but anon asks will be pictured. (there are some asks that came from blogs who are now deactivated but i wrote down all the prompts and remember most of those askers so ill cross that bridge when i get there) there will most likely be an excerpt or two simply bc i think i mightve written a few plot points or interactions in the form of bullet points. i rlly am sorry about doing this but i remember looking at my notion doc with all the prompts and feeling ... like i wasnt measuring up n it wasnt just to myself or to some intangible concept of “other” id constructed but it was instead to those who requested n actually WANTED to see and hear and read my writing and i ...... im gonna admit thats another big reason i avoided this site.

regardless, youll definitely get what i have (and likely more than just my bullet points and illegible handwriting).

tl;dr: im sorry. what i have in terms of plot, concept, and interaction for every request will be posted, but i cant say ill ever complete them and mean it.

iv. so what now?

well i mean . im not entirely sure how sold i am on haikyuu in the content creation department (as a creator n to a lesser extent, as a consumer). as mentioned previously, its no longer my primary focus. it doesnt mean im not into haikyuu anymore; i have a lot of love for those boys but i cant rlly say im even caught up w recent fandom activity and also havent even finished s4 pt2 LMAO thats on my to do list

and despite all that, i still want to share my plots n concepts and snippets and maybe even fics. it wont happen anytime soon. it might not even happen. but i mean . its better than me saying i wont write ever again shjdkfs but either way ill probably use this blog as a personal blog w the occasional ask game for dialogue prompts (those are always so fun i love making up aus to fit like . the most mundane prompts)

as for my works (past and any potential future), ive opened an ao3 acc here n ill be editing n possibly expanding on my old works to post there. tumblr, to me, is The x reader hub, but i figure more x reader fics on ao3 is never a bad thing.

ill be deleting/posting drafted posts to the queue since they were all meant to be queued anyway as well as (sorry again 🧍‍♂️) deleting or answering asks in the inbox. (moots if you get a notif from me saying i rbed your post from months ago ... mind your business) im very hard to get ahold of and its ... a problem. expect an overhaul of the nav n shit to reflect my new direction n also because i feel like i cant tell if my passion for carrd is shared by the majority HSDKLFS maybe its better to read my info in a normal post ykwim .......

and of course . if youve read all this n decided im no longer worth the follow, i sure as hell cant stop you. thank you for wanting to, at some point, hear what i have to say -- it means more than you think.

tl;dr: writing will be edited and reposted to ao3, this blog will be a personal blog with a hint of writing (sometimes)

the tl;dr to end all tl;drs:

im back! i wont be as active as i used to due to a lessened interest in haikyuu in general, but i have an ao3 acc now where all my past work will be edited, possibly expanded, and reposted. any future work will also find itself there. my halloween requests will be posted in batches as incomplete concepts, plots, and snippets of scenes; i wont be promising to finish any of them.

there are still fic concepts im attached to and want to finish, but i cant promise any more writing on my end. this blog will be a personal blog with maybe writing, not a writing blog with my personal thoughts all over it.

regardless if you stick around or not, its been crazy sexy cool (equal emphasis) being on haikyuu tumblr even tho i wasnt around for long ... even tho its not my main focus anymore, im still excited to see what the future might hold 🤝

love, ari 💌

#did i have an announcement tag #announcement #also regarding work hsjkdfsd the company i work for didnt give my location the opening for the full time position i wanted #my managers all agree id be promoted if we had it but we dont so i . hee .#anyway um i hope everyones doing well #some of my moots changed urls while i was away and now i have no idea who anyone is #its like when you see your familys friends and theyre like omg youre so big now! i remember when you were a baby and youre like 🧍‍♂️#and you have to play along bc apparently they remember you hskdfsd #im not very funny in this post but i figured id rather be honest considering my lengthy absence #consider this my comeback stage

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