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bread-tab · 1 year

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"stop making [media] your whole personality"

ah... okay. yes. so.

first off:

there's this neurodivergent thing, where you use an interest as a filter for processing the world.

for some people that is called a "special interest," for others with different needs it is more of a "hyperfixation;" there are far more variations than i (or the field of psychology) know how to describe now. if you want to understand the difference there are people who can explain those variations better than me. but i can tell you what it feels like.

you discover something.

it doesn't matter what it is; you find something that speaks to you, something you can connect to, and it becomes a bubble of safe habitat from which you can rest from and explore and connect to all the other parts of this strange chaotic world.

a source of joy. a source of illumination.

it's like you're a person who has lived all their life in dark caves and you find something that glows.

these interests can be anything.

(literally anything; i personally derive meanings that you could never imagine from ✨ drainage ditches. ✨)

but very often, they are stories. tv shows, books, movies, comics, songs, podcasts, minecraft improv streams, cartoons, web serials, whatever

these things are:

tangible. you can hold them in your hands, replay them, turn on the subtitles, take screenshots, read the sheet music

and yet

real. they form a genuine connection from your (isolated, untranslatable) internal world to other (formerly unknowable) people and the rest of the universe

they create meaningfulness

and they exist because humans find these incredibly effective soul-deep ways of communicating to one another.

now, appreciating stories, that's not a neurodivergent thing. that's a human thing.

the point of relevance here is that experiencing an extreme love for stories is a neurodivergent thing.

it's a very common neurodivergent trait which often gets mocked, portrayed as childish, and used as a pretext for infantilization and bullying.

(and it is also a trait of young people in general, to take stories very seriously in a way that looks silly to adults, and that is something that many people (regardless of age) try to bully out of each other.

what good is that doing anyone?)

"stop making [x] your whole personality"

listen, you. get down off that goddamn embankment and climb down into this ditch with me. dip your toes in this oily water. watch the stars and city lights ripple into constellations you've never seen

now look me in the eye

you need to understand that no matter what lowbrow, cringey, problematic or otherwise not-to-your-tastes drivel you might be complaining about today,

you are talking about the phenomenon of creativity

you are talking about a transcendent catalyst of human emotion

and yes that includes the overmilked disney franchises, it includes the formulaic shippy fanfictions, it includes whatever brightly-colored cartoon this website is obsessed with this year (and will be having incredibly dramatic meltdowns over next year), it includes the cheesy action movies and the fanservicey anime and the badly-designed video games and the milquetoast tiktok "literature", it includes the indistinguishable scribbles of some random five-year-old and/or famous fine artist and/or precocious elephant

i get it. you care about real life and touching grass and shit. you have taste. just take the stilts off your horse for a second, okay?

i know you're probably sick of "let people like things" discourse

i would just like for you to stop for a second and take a deep breath, and let the stench of whatever is in this mud puddle wash over you (yeah i know, ew, but you'll be fine) and consider

what is so bad about having a cringey personality, anyway?

and maybe you will think better of making "stop making [some silly moment in the universe] your personality" into your personality and maybe you will come off as a little bit less of a snob/ableist/ass and maybe you will have a slightly better outlook on life among humans.

that's all. yeah you can get out of the gutter now. thank you for coming to my ted talk—

ooh wait, look, a bottle cap

#''let people like things'' is not enough #let people find joy in the mundane stupid shit of life goddamn you #rant #*waves hands inarticulately* your sprouts!#protect your sprouts #idk if i'm making sense #i failed literature 101 three times for this #fuck it #maybe this is the semester i go back and pass that goddamn class #long post #actuallyautistic #adhd feels #neurodivergent breadtab #ableism #and that thing i don't know what to call it #where the intellectuals and the anti-intellectuals are fighting and it makes my head hurt because they're both missing part of the picture #and for me that part whatever it is it's foundational #sleep deprived #i have more to say about drainage btw #unfortunately it's more of a ''rotating in my mind'' kind of interest so it might not #make sense #per se #however i could probably get more poetic about this considering the thing I'm rotating in my mind is the sum and substance of how #humanity intersects with the water cycle of the entire earth #in summary: woder

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schoolmysteryno69 · 10 months

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META ANALYSIS - Mitsukou (part 1)

General topic - how they’re written as a one of the romantic couples in the story

Before I start, I need to say few things:

1. I’m not native english speaker. I’m probably going to make a lot of errors and mistakes, mix times, have a lacking vocabulary etc. Please be ready for it. I want to write my meta post anyway, so I would be happy if you will stay to the end with me!

2. If you do not like Mitsukou/hate this ship or anything like that - maybe this post it's not for you. It's totally okay to ship different thing and like different things, I don’t mind. My post is not a starter for a discussion tho, I’m not interested in discourses, argues and hate. I don’t really plan to “prove” anything to anyone or force you to change your mind, whole post is only MY analysis and my point of view. You are not obligated to feel the same way I feel, to see things the same way I see them.

3. I’m not interested in proving if Mitsukou is going to ever be canon or anything. I don’t know that. I’m also not going to analyze if they’re ever going to be a CANON COUPLE or an ENDGAME COUPLE. It’s only about if they’re written as a romantic relationship, and being written as a romantic couple =/= being a canon couple, they’re a lot of pairs in media that definitely are written as a romantic relationship without them being together ever or being an endgame. I’m not going to speculate about endgame, especially when one of the characters is supernatural and one is a human.

Okay, I think we can start now!

Let's start from the beginning. Because my first language is not english my post may be a little bit chaotic, putting all my thoughts in at least some order and with at least some sense it's actually hard, haha. In part 1 I will try to cover the first meeting between Kou and the ghost of Mitsuba.

So!

They first met during chapter 18. And it was meeting between Kou and ghost of a Mitsuba Sousuke, so it wasn’t our currently Mitsuba - it worth to mention they're not the same person, even if they are extremely similar, share a lot elements of their personalities, they look nearly the same, and current Mitsuba even share some dead Sousuke's memories because of School Mystery No. 4 Shijima Mei and her Picture Perfect arc. Still - not the same person and Mitsuba Kou met in chapter 18 is not the current Mitsuba.

At the beginning they're not really that much written as a romantic, their short arc was more like something starting Kou’s personal arc and his development. He got some background, some motivation, some angst, he changed. For most part Kou behaved pretty normal, just like himself - a selfless, lively boy that really wanted to help a lonely, sad ghost that Mitsuba was. (he wasn’t traumatized yet). Even if some of their interaction could be readed with a shippy glasses, there wasn’t anything that was inherently romantic about them.

I think it's kind of ironic how this is literally their first panel in the manga. Mitsuba literally looks like some kind of eldritch horror and he says “Did you forget about me?”. Yeah Kou, did you? This quite sums some elements of their arc. We know that Kou actually did forget about Mitsuba, who was one of his classmates. Also, Kous' trauma, related to everything that happened to Mitsuba, hunts him for the rest of the story. He also, clearly has a problem with recognition of both Mitsubas, with dealing with Ghost Mitsuba death and with the idea of forgetting someone and leaving someone. We also know that, when current!Mitsuba was made by Tsukasa, he didn’t remember Kou. That's why this quote here is very ironic.

There is nothing really to analyze here but I find it funny. Yeah, you quite literally just haunted the wrong guy and it’s going to be a problem for you and said guy for the next 15 volumes of the manga. Good luck.

Even after calling Mitsuba an “evil spirit” Kou still tries to help him and even decides to “take the big tough guy approach” to make Mitsuba feel safer about him. Kou is not really “the big tough guy”, even if he tries to pose as one. He is a 14 yo kid with kind of fucked up situation in life, even, if he doesn’t recognize it yet.

Maybe you could learn something from Kous stupid earning, mr. boy who DIED in the car accident.

It's definitely not an accident that Mitsuba died hit by a car and Kou has a BIG earning with a big caption “TRAFFIC SAFETY”. Even after reading all chapters up to 103 I’m not really sure how I should interpret this exact symbolism in their relationship, but it's definitely done on purpose by the authors. I think it may symbolize that Kou, with a “traffic safety” earning will save Mitsuba, who previously died in a traffic accident from dying another time? Like, now Mitsuba have Kou by his side and maybe Kou will manage to keep him safe. His earning is mentioned by Mitsuba too many times, it's done so we can notice it, for sure. And I wonder how it turns out.

It’s the first time Mitsuba suggests that Kou either has some kind of feelings toward him, tries to do something dirty towards him or something similar. Every time he just jokes or tries to provoke Kou or something like that. At first I thought it's just how Mitsuba is, some people love to joke like that, but then I noticed, later in the story, that Kou is quite literally the only person Mitsuba ever does this to. Sure he does not have many friends “his age” but still during the manga it would be possible for him to behave like that toward other characters, but he does not. He jokes like that only toward Kou and I think during the next parts of my writing I will point it out more.

Even after 20 minutes of insulting he is still concerned about Mitsuba. That's so funny and sweet.

Yeeeaaah sure it totally does not relate in any way to the fact that ghost Motsuba got to die after taking a photo of KOU out of everything yeeeeaaaah nada nope. It's crazy how the authors planned this because Hanako really started as some kind of funny manga about kids and ghosts and supernatural things, but the angst we get later is actually top notch and kinda scary. There was few moments I really had to like, stand up and walk in my room because of the emotions I felt after reading.

Look how happy he is with the idea of being a model to the Mitsubas photos. He is bright, smiling and even blushing. The next ironic thing is how he cried after actually seeing a picture of himself made by Mitsuba. Also I like how prominent his earning is here.

Mitsuba is very particular, he really made pictures only of animals, plants and other non-human things. That's probably why his photo of Kou hit me like a train. That's literally narratively confirming that Mitsuba saw Kou as something (someone) he likes, someone that is important to him. Kou also realized it after seeing the picture, that was one of the reasons why he was so devastated.

There are few things about that whole scene I would like to point up. The first are doves. Mitsuba, especially Ghost Mitsuba, is often presented with doves as a form of his symbolism. Doves and cherry blossoms are probably the most prominent symbols of his character. I’m not really that good when it comes to symbols, but I think doves symbolize things like peace, but also some form of innocence/purity and love. Some sources also say about transformation and spirituality. I think one of the reasons for choosing doves is to symbolize how he didn’t deserve to die like that, that his soul is actually good and seeks for peace. In Kou’s eyes he is also someone innocent, definitely. Especially when we are talking about ghost Mitsuba at the beginning of a story.

ALSO I’m pretty sure birds are foreshadowing to current!Mitsuba being made from the school mystery no. 3 who looked like a bird and who current!Mitsuba gained a lot of his characteristics from. Current!Mitsuba hair looks like feathers, his hand looks like talons etc. He is heavily associated with birds from the beginning. Even if Ghost!Mitsuba is associated with doves more and current!Mitsuba with ravens or crows.

The next thing about this scene is Kou finally realizing he knew Mitsuba and it hit him. Understanding that Mitsuba actually KNEW Kou and it was Kou who didn’t remember him probably made him feel remorse and generally really bad about himself. That’s not a nice thing if you forget about a boy who was with you in a class, and the fact that ghost Mitsuba actually tried to talk to him and asked him “Did you forget about me”... It's hard for me to even imagine what Kou felt at that moment.

Also, Mitsuba surely didn’t know about Kou being from an exorcist family, so he wouldn't expect that Kou will take direct action after meeting a ghost lol. If it comes to Mitsuba, I’m pretty sure it was very scary.

I wish we could see more of them like that. Just like two boys having fun with each other. I love angst, trust me. But I think they deserve rest and to just have a chance to play and talk a be… normal for once. Everytime when they get a chance to have fun they’re cute and hilarious together.

Rain can symbolize sadness and hard emotions soooo yeah, I’m not surprised it started raining. I think it sort of symbolizes feelings of both Kou and Mitsuba here.

They’re going to the third floor and I’m sure it's foreshadowing to Mitsuba becoming a School Mystery no. 3.

I’m still impressed how much foreshadowing is during their first meeting (chap 18-20). Like the birds, nr 3, traffic safety earning, motif of remembering/forgetting etc. You could also think that photography would be something like that but… it's not. Photography becomes a thing that is helping recognizing human/ghost Mitsuba from current supernatural Mitsuba. They’re similar but not the same person. Photos were one of the main characteristics of the original Mitsuba, both in this arc and during a moment with Mitsubas mother later. It was always about photos, but it's never about photos when it comes to our current Mitsuba.

Yeah, that kind of explains why Kou didn’t remember him immediately, even after seeing how Mitsuba looks and hearing his surname he should know. Because, like, Kou should remember him, they were in the same class, sit close to each other etc. But the mask that Mitsuba created was so strong that made him nearly imperceptible (like, you know, a ghost hah) and at this point tbh I don’t think Mitsuba liked it very much. He is actually a pretty bold and cocky person and all of this probably bugged him. Of course he wasn’t bullied, but was it worth becoming somebody different, somebody boring and bland to others? I think there is some form of regret. But also I don’t think that ALL of this was a mask, because Mitsuba definitely has some of a calmer and more sweet side to himself, he showed it a lot of times.

He tries to fix it up by recognizing him now for who he is. With both his positive and negative aspects, even if he points out mostly his flaws. Still, this is the Mitsuba he met, the Mitsuba he knows and the Mitsuba he IS GOING TO remember. Mitsuba he befriended now. It actually means a lot for Sousuke. He is dead, he may have thought that it's the end for him and for all of his relationships he ever had. Its funny how Mitsuba said he is a ghost because he still wanted to do photos, but the truth is he wanted relationships, but the true ones. Not based on his “fake” nice self, but on real him with all his flaws and that's why he haunted other students rather than just… go do photos or something. He tried to connect to others, because he subconsciously thought relationships and friends he had when he lived weren’t really true and real. It’s ironic how it resembles the current!Mitsuba in Picture Perfect act.

Kou started to realize who Mitsuba was and how tragic his situation was, he started to empathize. Kou has a martyr complex, so he wanted to help Mitsuba any way he could. It was also shown that he does LIKE Mitsuba even with his twisted personality, Kou said it himself and it surely means a lot for Mitsuba who wasn’t liked before for his true personality. That was probably the moment Mitsuba felt a real bond towards Kou and become attached to him.

And Kou even blushed a few times.That would still be read as platonic and sweet tho!. I think it was, personally. The most important thing during their first meeting was, of course, how it ended, because, in my opinion, it was a moment when most (not all tho) Kou's mental problems started. There was still his family, of course. Teru loves Kou very much, but still his mentality and behavior was a root for Kou’s low self esteem and some other elements of his personality, tho I think it may be a topic for a whole different post.

In this small arc, in my opinion, the moment that was the beginning of me perceiving them as written as one of the couples, a romantic relationship was this exact moment:

“I don’t know… maybe something important to me?”

And also a moment when Kous saw this picture for the first time, when he developed photos, and how this cracked him.

Generally, becoming friends with Mitsuba was very important to Kou. Not only because he wanted to help him (and, internally, also making Kou feel better about himself) but also it was probably the first time when… Kou may feel somewhat special? He always was in the shadow of Teru, he wasn’t an “official” exorcist, he wasn't going to missions in the town, he wasn’t very strong (Hanako literally KO’ed him without a sweat and Kou couldn't do much to Hanako), the girl he got a small crush on (Nene) clearly had something with Hanako… Kou was always pushed back and now, with Mitsuba, he made an actually special relationship between the only two of them. He felt NEEDED, and we all know how much Kou desperately needs to feel NEEDED. In his own mind, he was the only one that could help Mitsuba and that understood Mitsuba, that's why Mitsubas ghost death was so hard for him. He finally got something special for himself and he couldn't even protect it and he let lonely, poor ghost tragically vanish. That's some trauma for you.

I’m not going to write much about Mitsubas feelings there because it was Sousuke Mitsubas feelings - and currently I’m going to focus more on a School Mystery Mitsuba. Tho Sousuke definitely perceived Kou and his help as something special to him. That's where their fated bond started.

“You can help me develop them tomorrow and then… I think I’ll be okay”.

Yet we can’t see his eyes when he speaks, and that suggests he thinks something different that what he speaks. Not showing eyes is a common motif to show that a character is lying or saying something he does not think or hiding something. Here is just like that - it’s not about photos, it's about KOU. It’s because of Kou he is going to be okay, not because of the photos he took today. Something changed for Mitsuba when Kou recognized him for someone he actually is and wanted to become friends with him. For Mitsuba it means a lot because when he was alive he couldn’t get true friends and real relationships with others.

Yeah walk walk trauma baby. I know I mention ‘trauma” a lot when it comes to Kou, but the whole manga is like a one big parade of traumas for this boy and it's not even funny. I’m not surprised he is starting to become more and more insane with every next arc. Especially in the Night Out small arc we can clearly see how detached from actual reality Kou starts to be and how he stops recognizing differencs between supernatural and real word, good and evil, selfless and selfish behavior etc. It’s all the result of the traumatic situations he was put in for like 16 volumes straight. And he is bearing it A LOT WORSE than Nene is.

Ouch.

“You wished for people remembering you but now youre happy with just a one person?” That hits hard but also I’m angry at Tsukasa, like leave that boy alone.Even one person can make a change in someones life, and thats what Mitsuba felt at a moment. For Kou he was someone, he was real, he had a personality, Kou recognized him and that gives him a true sense of identity. For him it was enough

You met like half of a day before and you are calling him your friend and fighting for him with an unknown dangerous supernatural who looks exactly like your other friend. Bruh that's some dedication. Kou is desperate to save Mitsuba, but Kou is generally desperate to be a savior. He tries to “save” Nene a lot of times even if it’s not really necessary, because Nene also has other friends and people who support her and is pretty clever and capable of bearing problems on her own (most of the time). Yet Kou still treats Nene like some damsel in distress that need his protection when it's CLEARLY not like that. Sadly, Kou mostly fails anyway. He fails now with Mitsuba and if it comes to Nene, if she needs saving, the person who (usually) saves her is Hanako. Kou rarely has something he can actually do and it's cracking him up mentally.

Yeah, “I’m supernatural who grants wishes” not “I’m a ghost of a boy who once lived in this town”. Yeah. It was right here from the beginning.

I just hope it’s not a form of foreshadowing.

His last words were “Minamoto-kun”, it's so sad. On this last panel he actually looked a little brighter than on the previous panel of his transformation, and that's because he looked at Kou.

I need to say, seeing a person you treat important to you and calling a friend dying in a horrible way and hearing their last words being your name must be pretty stressful. It would probably haunt me for a long time and I’m sure Kou is still affected by it.

On the 20 chapter cover Mitsuba is together with the rest of the main squad (Nene, Hanako, Kou). It was pretty weird back then - he literally died and looks like he was going to be a one-arc character that started Kous character development, but this cover was a hint that it's going to be different and Mitsuba, probably, is going to play a whole different role in the story. He, also, had a hand around Kous head and nearly touched his hair gently - its a symbol of intimacy.

That was a proof how strong, narratively, their relationship is and is going to be during the progression of a story. And, in my opinion, a foreshadowing to Mitsubas feelings. Because I think currently, our Mitsuba is aware of his feelings toward Kou, but I’m going to cover this topic a little bit later.

On this cover there is a lot more symbolism,especially with Hanako and his role in the story, but it's also a thing for a whole different post.

What Tsukasa said was that Mitsubas wish was ‘“ want to stay with my friends forever and ever”.

That’s literally what I said earlier.

It’s a recurring topic with current!Mitsuba and his relationship with Kou. Mitsuba feels lonely and… Kou also feels lonely. Even if he has a brother, father and friends (Nene and Hanako and other school friends) Kou is incredibly lonely because of his inferiority complex. He desperately needed to be needed, needed to be special to someone, needed to be important to someone, and that person was Mitsuba. Right now, he is the most important person to Mitsuba and that's both good and very bad for Kou. Good because he finally feels like someone important and someones one and only, but bad because of how traumatic his relationship with Mitsuba is to him and how unhealthy it is. And by it I don’t mean they’re toxic or bad people - they are kids who want to be loved and who want to have their place in the world. But Mitsuba is a monster, he is a supernatural, whos life is stained away by his instinct, who needs to eat other monsters and who does not really… have any actual bright future and Kou is traumatized boy with low self estem, problems with his selfworth, with martyr complex and some sort of suicidal tendencies. They have a lot to work out.

Kou is going to be a supernatural / is going to try to be a supernatural / is going to be forced to be supernatural - hint number one.

Yes, I will go back to this topic, because I’m literally scared of it so much. It's prominent during the whole story that Kou is foreshadowed to have a plotline related to becoming supernatural in some way. And when this topic is touched it's usually related to his plotline with Mitsuba. I’m kind of scared of HOW it’s going to happen or if it’s going to be only a try or Kou really will become supernatural in some way. But it's too much of a recurring topic of Kous WHOLE character arc to not being important and to not happen. It's even hard to call it foreshadowing, its literal hints everywhere.

Kou spent with Mitsuba literally… one day, outside of being in the same class for a while (Kou didn’t even remember this time THAT much, time they spend together this day was more important) and yet he CLINGED SO HARD to the idea that Mitsuba is his “friend”. He desperately needed to be wanted, needed, to have a special bond, to being able to help, to save someone. And yet he lost Mitsuba at this moment, he couldn't do shit to save him, he was absolutely… just useless during a fight. It affected him a lot.

During the scene when Hanako “kills” Mitsuba, there are sakura petals. They’re heavily associate with Mitsuba and are one of his symbols:

This scene, narratively was a scene that said to us he is GONE. For good. It was a “goodbye” for him and Kou, he is dead. That's all. At this point we couldn't know we are going to meet current!Mitsuba, so we could thing that is the end of Mitsuba and the beginning of a Kous arc. And… it was both of these things but in the whole DIFFERENT meaning. Of course it was goodbye to the Sousuke, he is dead, he can’t come back. Of course it was a beginning for Kous development. But… it was also a beginning for our current!Mitsuba, for slowly progressing Kous insanity as an effect of his trauma and the beginning for Mitsuba and Kous actual arc and relationship. We thought it was the end but it was actually the beginning that changed… the whole Kou, to be honest.

I think it's related not only to Mitsuba but to Hanako, too. Imagine what Hanako could feel at that moment. He is a ghost and a supernatural who know how doomed he is and he only protects school and Nene. But Kou said it's bullshit and clearly believes in what he says. Sadly, Hanako is so stubborn.

One of the symbols related to Kou is a lion. Lions may symbolize a lot of things, like strength, courage but also - protection. Just like Kou tries to protect everyone and tries to be strong and courageous for others. I actually think it suits him quite well. Lions also symbolize the sun and it was shown a few times that Kou is like a sun to Mitsuba.

At some point of a story he is definitely going to do some crazy shit I’m telling you. He really tries to believe that he can find a way to change how the world works and it can end up good but.. it can also end up INCREDIBLY BAD. It’s not that good to mess up with life and death and when you cross up a border there is no coming back. With every arc the manga is becoming a little bit more dark and serious with topic it shows and och boy I’m kind of scared for Kou and Mitsuba.

You can literally hear me crying. It was probably the first moment in the manga that actually had any impact on me, I was really like… I had to stand and walk for a bit before reading. Kou sees a photo of himself and remembers Sousuke saying “Who knows? Maybe something important to me?” and starting crying was like. I wanted to cry too. I can’t even imagine what Kou felt at this moment, it was probably absolutely heartbreaking.

This small arc finished with chapter 20.During the next arc, Kou, already affected by Mitsubas death, gets to know that Nene also has a shortened lifespan and it's going to die very shortly. That wasn’t too good for his mental state and he literally fixated on a goal in saving her. When Kou learned about Nene’s situation, Hanako even related it to Mitsubas situation, so we can clearly understand these two examples are related to Kou. He doesn’t want this situation to happen again.

“Just like with this boy, there is nothing you can do” - Hanako you little shit

But yeah. Again Kou understands how useless he is. How weak he is, how he can’t save anyone the way he is. How he could do nothing about Mitsubas situation and how he can’t do nothing about Nene’s situation. That's tragic. And it's clear Kou doesn’t know what to do about it. Thats why, when current!Mitsuba appeared, he started to find such a ridiculous (and unhealthy) solutions to Mitsubas (and Kous) problems. He don't know what to do but desperately needs to do… something. Anything. To help, to be important.

It's sad. He said he dont know what he is gonna do, but HE WILL DO SOMETHING. And yet… we know how it all goes for him. He is a brave kid, who is determined and wants others to be happy and alive.

He even tried to stop a kiss between Hanako and Nene after reading Nenes book and failed. He always fails.

There is also an special page

It is titled “Love stories” that should be about Mitsuba. And it contains both Mitsuba and Kou. It's just a joke, but I need to point out that Mitsuba generally wasn’t shown to be interested in any girl during the progression of the story or never talked about it in general. He also does not crush on Nene, even when both Hanako and Kou felt something toward her at some point in the story.He also talks about how cute he is A LOT and I’m going to say something about it someday, but not now.

I think it's enough for part 1! I think I covered everything I wanted for their first meeting. Let's see at Mitsubas resurrection in the Hell of Mirrors!

#Mitsukou #minamoto kou #mitsuba sousuke #toilet bound hanako kun #jibaku shonen hanako kun #tbhk #jshk #meta post #analysis #long post #yugi amane #hanako #yashiro nene #Yugi Tsukasa

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13eyond13 · 2 months

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In your reply about how L is written without a lot of inner world for lack of a better term, I totally agree. I think L is genuinely a hard character to write because he's both an enigma and highly specific in his mannerisms and speech. It's easy to both go really overboard with how he's strange and off putting and at the same time under write him as a person with ideas and desires. When I see L being essentially written to revolve around Light as either his gay awakening/nemesis/boyfriend/ force that shakes up his life I call it the inverse of a manic pixie dream girl. Depressed Goblin Nightmare Boy L who doesn't really want anything except Light and who exists to do something for Light's character growth. I personally love when fics take the time to give him a past, and a life outside of Light and expands on him as a person and not just a detective. This is a long ramble but anyway, do you have any head canons about L's past?

Depressed Goblin Nightmare Boy ahahaha so true

I think part of the issue that shippy fic writers might run into with L is kind of also that he's not the focus of the source material in terms of like. Having a character arc that needs to be satisfied somehow, really? It's not about L having an emotional journey because it's about Light having one, and L is almost more fun in some ways when he DOESN'T change a whole lot as a character (he's fairly iconic in how stubborn and arrogant and seemingly unmoveable he already is). He's there mostly to oppose Light and make things really difficult for him, as well as to represent things in the story that come up as part of the themes and ideas and whatnot - an equal/intellectual rival that Light can actually feel threatened by and come to respect, a person who already reached the peak of power for his job of bringing criminals to justice and yet does so without necessarily adhering to any sort of noble ideals or worrying about whether or not he's being moral or a hypocrite of some kind, etc etc etc. And a lot of the appeal of his character in canon can also be how vague and cryptic and difficult to fully know he is as well, hahaha. So you're right, he's pretty difficult to fully flesh out in terms of his life outside the Kira case and so on, especially if you don't find him easy to intuitively read.

In terms of headcanons about his past, I feel almost as though it might not be totally set in stone and change a bit for me just depending on what kind of fic I was writing? I might give him certain life experiences and memories and beliefs and so on that would serve a certain purpose in the story, like contrast or parallel things that Light has experienced or believes in or whatever else. So unless I have a specific story in mind I'm not sure I have a ton of them that I'd stick to absolutely no matter what.

However the broad strokes of things we were told about L's past and childhood in the one-shots do make for decent scaffolding to work from for L to me. Like I DO think he probably made himself useful and interesting to Watari at a young age with his smarts, and that he never quite knows if he would have been taken care of or protected or had his needs met properly if he wasn't exceptionally talented in some way, which would definitely be kind of fucked up for him emotionally to dwell on a bunch. I headcanon that he doesn't really like to dwell on the past or the future a whole lot maybe in part because he finds it pretty depressing stuff to contemplate, and that living in the moment is by far his favourite thing to do.

And I for some reason feel like he isn't maybe an orphan in the sense that he has no living relatives left so much as maybe that he was given up or abandoned by them at an early age or taken away from a rough/abusive home life of some sort, and maybe was thought of as much too difficult to care for by them. I think the tension between L's extreme and more difficult traits being both his biggest asset and thing people admire about him most, and also the thing that causes him the most alienation and trouble in his life, or his own belief/understanding that this is the case, might for me be the most interesting stuff to explore more thoroughly with him.

#l lawliet #ask #starlightinthewild #lawlight #p

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icycream24 · 16 days

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Silver and Espio for the ask meme? :>

hehehe my favs hehee🤤🤤🤤

SILVER:

I think most ppl don't know, but I used to really dislike Silver when I was first introduced to this character online. Not a game, no no, but YouTube AMV vids of this dude with cutesy shippy art of Silvaze. His portrayal was so degraded to me (I was 11 at that time?) that I believed he was a self-insert character for some popular artists to ship themselves with Blaze, in the girl-boss dynamic. Ofc, I looked for more info online and realised Silver was an actual character.

At that time I was playing Sonic Riders Zero Gravity and only unlocked Shadow/Rouge/Cream. After knowing what characters were avaliable, I tried my best to unlock the rest, including Silver. I also did not like his voice in English at that time, so much that I decided to switch the voice-overs to Japanese. And I also did not like it 😂 Not because it was grading! But more like, I was shocked by the drastic difference between the two. Kid me had to decide which portrayal I prefer more (ofc not aware of narrative difference of the scripts, I just chose based on my preference) and ended up with Japanese bc I vibe with the calm seriousness in the voice more. Eventually I did get used to both voices after more exposure of this character, watching playthrough videos online.

Talking about watching 06, I was not expecting him to be so different from my first impression of this "whiny/incapable/loser" kid. Silver actually was serious about fighting for his future, like a dedicated soldier. Blaze was *not* the girl-boss, she was on equal grounds with Silver. (Really... I was like 11/12, now that I think about it, how come ppl's comprehension skills so drastically apart that we can get totally different character interpretations?) I started to find charming traits on Silver, and that was when I started looking up for this character's info more & more.

And then I discovered the Rivals series. I watched the whole thing, 1&2, and this Espio character... Wait they're kinda nice tgt. (it was year 2012?? AAAAA I can't believe I'm still insane about Espilver/Silvespio, they're my sons now at this point 😭✨) I remember using Skype and talked about the ✨chemistry✨ between Silver & Espio, and my friend said I was tripping 😭

Anyway here's Espio:

At that time I didn't have that much knowledge on Espio, I just thought their Eng voice in Heroes sounded like he's dying in a few years with how gruff & grandpa it sounded LOL. Mostly I only draw him with Silver bc I realised no one shipped these two back then. (there was ppl but there was no tags for them) So I felt like, no, impossible. I need to COOK for them! So I started shipping them like FedEx with my limited skills 🥴

My Espio appriciation was mainly started by shipping him with Silver. As I reflect on why I enjoy this ship so much, I dug up traits that I like about Espio. He was helpful, supportive, and overall has a rather peaceful way of communicating with others (aka SILVER hhh). Compared to other characters, especially in Rivals, he was really chill and kept his head clear, and unconditionally aided Silver simply bc he knew he was helping someone with a good cause. Such admirable traits that I'd say are pretty rare even irl.

Still, Espio did not have that much screen time. His portrayal in my mind I do admit was half canon, half fanon. Silly ninja with goofy teammates that values teamwork & is capable of aiding others, plus saint-like patience & wisdom. (Haha...really, a lot of his traits are get from Rivals 2, his ways of interacting with individuals was way more informative than games & anime shows combined 🤧)

But yeah, with time I like these 2 characters even more, started to make all kinds of headcanons that I won't be able to elaborate here. The texts are already getting too long here 😂 I've imagined them, either tgt or separately, in fluff/angst/spice/AU/wholesome/dead dove/anything really bc I just enjoy these two so much 💕

It's kinda selfish to say, but with how little Espilver there was during that time, it was almost like they got a clean slate & I was not swayed by any other ppl's interpretation of these two for a few years. And ofc by time these two surely became my favorite characters. LOL I realised in my busy years of not drawing often, Silver & Espio were the only characters I drew 😂

UGGGHHHAA I love these two sm 😭✨ thanks for asking hahah I wanna talk about them all day 🤧✨

#silver the hedgehog #espio the chameleon #espilver #silvespio #Ask meme #Ask me anything about them & I'll go 👀👀👀👀👀

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thatfinewine · 7 months

Text

Silly little oneshot that turned in a direction I hadn't intended but went with anyway. Prompt from @potetosaradas was "Blips and Chitz", and the pairing Rick Prime/(young) Rick C-137. It isn't explicitly shippy, but hopefully it's still enjoyable. 🙏

Every so often Rick has to acknowledge that he can't handle all of who Prime is.

(Prime truly does not give a shit. Rick gives too much of a shit.)

“Eh, you win some you lose some,” Prime shrugged nonchalantly as he tossed the helmet game controller down onto the dashboard of the machine, where it landed precariously close to the edge. He got up from the cramped-but-plush seats and made a show of stretching his long legs, while Rick followed and stood up after him from the opposite chair.

“We wouldn’t ‘lose some’ if you’d quit making us lose!” Rick snapped as he (much more carefully) set his own helmet down and readjusted Prime’s closer to the center of the console without thinking.

Prime reached down and tore off the measly amount of tickets the machine spit out for them. “Hey; I was having fun shooting Space Fascists—”

“—Instead of protecting the civilians! Like the objective told us to do!”

“I mean, you made it sound like you had that part pretty handled—”

“—until you blew the whole left wing of the Feds’ ship off and it crashed down on top of us and killed everyone!”

“—which wouldn’t have happened if those pig bastards knew how to steer their own ship. They drive like male Obravadians! Man, it’s like they were aiming for you guys – actually, it was kinda funny.”

Prime had already started moving on towards his next objective, leaving Rick to catch up with him. Rick, mood visibly soured from the loss, didn’t find any of it even slightly amusing. When Prime caught the look, he rolled his eyes in a comically obvious way. “Anyone who has taste would find it funny, anyway,” he grumbled, purposefully loud enough to be heard over the ambient noise of the arcade.

“Sorry I don’t find watching innocents being crushed to death funny.”

The air around Prime shifted, the growing tension seemingly choking out the oxygen between them.

“Rick,” Prime said, emphasizing the name with the condescending sort of tone of a teacher who’s disappointed in a student. “You know you can’t let yourself get all tangled up in small stuff like that.”

Rick felt his face and chest grow hot with embarrassed anger. Prime spoke about other living beings as if they were hardly more than a footnote to him, but the loss of life never felt ‘small’ to Rick. That was a conscious being, snuffed right out of existence, losing the most precious thing ever gifted to any of them – life. A single life that could never be brought back once it was gone. But the two of them had argued about this so many times before, and this was supposed to be a fun, low-stakes day out playing video games…

“I know,” he answered quietly, sounding simultaneously defeated and bitter about it.

It was moments like these that were chilling reminders of what Prime was like to everyone else. He was generally good to Rick because he liked Rick. But Prime didn’t harbor any sort of meaningful fondness for anything else besides creation and discovery. Rick was an anomaly to him, something that had such a low chance of happening that it was basically a nonexistence; an impossibility. It made the heat inside of him run cold; as if a block of ice settled into Rick’s ribcage, where it slowly melted into his veins, as he stood in the face of their reality.

Prime found the universe fascinating as he watched life crop up and die as if it were nothing but cells under a microscope.

Rick thought it was wrong to see a disaster happening and do nothing to stop it when he very well had the power to.

Prime said that ‘right’ and ‘wrong’ are societal constructs and aren’t even real. In the beginning he thought that Rick’s ‘planetary mindset’ was… cute. But as the same conversation kept circling back around… he was getting annoyed at having to repeat himself.

“You’re not stupid, Rick. I know you’re not stupid.”

Rick hated those words so much it made him feel sick.

“I know you’re not stupid. So why do you keep acting like it?”

The feeling of how finite the universe truly was became heavier around Rick, putting pressure on his heart to the point where it hurt to keep beating. How could two people stay by each other's sides and make a relationship work when their fundamental moral compasses couldn’t align?

“Why does it matter, then? I-I-I’m not asking you to— to do anything, I’ll do it all myself. If nothing matters, why does it pi-p-pi-piss you off so much that I want to save lives?”

“Is that really what you’re going to spend the rest of your life doing? You could be inventing literally anything! You could be doing anything! And you’re choosing to waste your own invaluable time simply postponing death for some thing that’s not even going to benefit you? They’re going to die, Rick. They’re all going to die. So you spend a week stopping a flood and helping rebuild a town – then what? You’re going to leave, feeling all proud of yourself for earning these hero points you invented as a reward and to feel like there’s a balance to the universe and it’s not all chaos – and after you leave, the dam breaks again, or a volcano erupts, or an asteroid slams into the planet, or a burst of solar radiation hits them and wipes out everything.”

“That’s—”

“—Or another space-faring alien shows up and decides they want the resources and have no use for the people and pick them all off! Maybe sell them as slaves for a quick buck! And this is happening to millions of planets - all with sapient life - right now, in this very universe, right this very second, and here you are helping none of them. So then what, are you choosing which life deserves to survive with your benevolent help?”

“No, I-I’ll—”

“—Are you going to clone yourself so you can be in billions of places at once, stopping every single disaster on every single planet? Are you going to lay awake at night beating yourself up over the ones you didn’t save, wasting even more of your time?”

“...”

“…Do you see how ridiculous you sound to me now? Come on, Rick. Look out for yourself - and if a stupid fucking species is going to wipe themselves out with nuclear war, let them. You’ve fooled yourself into believing that you care. …If you want to then just do it, but don’t act like it makes you a saint. You’re not. You’re Rick Sanchez.”

They usually don’t talk for days afterward.

“I’ll give you time to calm down and actually use that brain of yours. I know you’re not stupid, Rick.”

Rick didn’t even look over as he heard Prime let loose an exaggerated groan. “Oh my God,” he complained, drawing out the title into a word that took two whole seconds to say, “stop pouting.”

“I’m not pouting,” Rick snapped back, as he actively made an effort to stop pursing his lips and slumping his shoulders. It wasn’t pouting. It was… it was…

“We came here to have fun – it’s a fucking space arcade! You really can ruin anything, huh?”

The good times were so good, but the bad times were so bad.

“It’s a talent,” Rick muttered, trying not to sound like he was marking up a list in his head of the pros and cons of choosing this man as his partner.

Prime shot him a sidelong glance and gave his cosmic twin’s face a quick once-over. Rick often wondered what Prime’s mental list was. How long did Rick even have before the scales tipped out of his favor and he lost his appeal? What would happen to him then?

Existence was finite, after all.

Even for Gods.

#my writing #rick sanchez #young rick sanchez #rick prime #prickcest #precanon prickcest #fanfic #casual topic of death and moral dilemmas nbd #prime truly does not give a shit #rick gives too much of a shit #god I never post writing but I swear I sometimes do write #debatably #gotta get it out before s7 comes out and kicks me right in the teeth

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myfaveisfuckable · 4 months

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Tuvok:

Ok, first off: real world standards, he's not normal passing. Apart from the ears, he's just too autistic (sorry, "Vulcan" 🙄) to be considered "normal looking". He went to 1990s earth once and Did Not Pass as normal. But in universe, he would on the surface seem like a model Vulcan. And he is, kinda. But he's also so gd weird. (/aff)

Not even gonna get into how badly he wants to be Will Graham because obviously that's there too but we don't have all day. Anyway.

Obvs the emotions struggle is real as it is for any Vulcan worth paying attention to, if only because they were all only ever written by humans.

But also, tangential to him being Will Graham coded (but still separate enough) he is a total mind slut. You know how some characters will go "when I have a problem, I set it on fire" or shit like that? When Tuvok has a problem, he mind melds with it. Homoerotically if it's an option. Dude even got a mind std one time, despite the fact that's not even a thing.

And then whatever the fuck kinda thing he has going on with Janeway. Not even necessarily in a shippy way ("not romantic, not platonic, so devoted the lines blur") but like... not only is he unreasonably loyal to her but he does shit like not only letting her touch him whenever she wants but *deliberately offering her HIS HAND to hold* to comfort her when she needs it (reminder that hand touching is very intimate to Vulcans and can be likened to human kissing) and again, they're never even stated as romantic or anything, they're just friends and yet he is more loyal to her than he is to his own code of ethics.

Obviously part of all of it could be because Janeway (or possibly Kate Mulgrew) is simply Like That, she does do shit like tell her platonic subordinate "then be a good rat and find us the cheese" in a tone that makes me lose it, but it's not all her, Tuvok is also extremely not normal about it. I should submit Janeway too actually, I'll do her next.

Also, afaik Tuvok is the only crew member of Voyager (who makes it back) who had a romantic partner before the ship got lost in the Delta quadrant and remained loyal the entire seven years they were lost. I *think* Samantha Wildman also did but she's a minor character (so she could've been getting it off screen) and she started out pregnant so once born Naomi both kept her busy and was a living reminder of her husband's love. So in that regard, Tuvok is very much not normal but like in the most positive way. He literally didn't cheat on his wife even when his life was in danger (they *were* out there for seven years so of course he hit pon farr eventually) and I think that's really cool of him. But also very not normal.

I'm very tired rn but once the polls come out, simply check out the blog of Bea @bumblingbabooshka (wanna clarify, I'm not him but he is THE Tuvok blogger in my opinion) who has written much on this already.

There's also the whole stuff that happened around his monestary era but I'm not even at that part yet but it must've been wild.

Anyway. Vote Tuvok

Janeway:

- will literally martyr herself at the drop of a hat

- will kill you if she thinks it's what she needs to do for her crew

- will not kill you if she thinks you've got residue humanity after decades as a borg drone even though realistically she really should've (tho ofc we're all glad she didn't)

- will violate your personal rights if she thinks you're not "human" enough and also compare you to a replicator (yes I'm still salty about that. wait what was the question? right, i'll get back on track)

- will say absolutely deranged shit like "then be a good rat and find us the cheese" in the a tone that makes me lose my mind and basically give everyone a crush on her (and also mommy issues) if they spend too long in her vicinity, leading to a very loyal crew

- her solution to having a crush on a fictional character was to delete his wife (very relatable but also very not normal)

- she wanted to watch hot Q on Q sex (possibly for scientific reasons) and looked very disappointed when it was severely underwhelming

- WHO brings a bathtub on a spaceship???

- there's more but y'know

#poll #tournament

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audioletter · 3 months

Text

Fluffbruary #9: Reading Together (Elizabeth & Teyla | John & Rodney, SGA)

The list of prompts is here.

A twofer of vignettes, daily life on Atlantis. Both are shippy if you squint, up to you!

Elizabeth puts her head in her hands, sighing deeply. "This seems impossible."

Teyla smiled, leaning forward to place a hand on her arm. "You've just begun and you've come so far. One more time, I'll read first, then you."

When Elizabeth had approached Teyla about learning the native Athosian language, she admits she felt cocky - a born polyglot, she found languages easy, devouring them and picking them up as easy as reading a novel. But Athosian - a whole new alphabet, words Teyla even struggled to translate and a whole history to learn was nothing but intimidating.

It was important, though, to continue fostering good relations between Atlantis and the Athosian people, so she takes a deep breath and signals Teyla to start.

The language is beautiful, rolling of Teyla's tongue with ease; Elizabeth focuses on the way her mouth moves, moving over the syllables and diphthongs smoothly. She finishes, smiling encouragingly. "Your turn."

A sigh, and Elizabeth picks up the paper Teyla had written a children's folk tale on, stumbling on the first few words but suddenly finding the language starting to make sense in her mouth. Less like marbles and more like she was getting it, and Teyla tells her to repeat again once Elizabeth finishes.

Teyla's patience is fascinating - Elizabeth knew she was probably used to education and teaching those amongst her people, and her appreciation to Teyla taking the time to teach her her culture knew no bounds. She begins the story again - the words taking affect and locking into her brain, the strange symbols of the Athosian alphabet becoming clear and distinguishable. I'm getting it, a swell of pride, and Elizabeth begins the story again, her voice clearer and sounding authentic with Teyla's gentle notes on pronunciation.

"You are doing very well, Elizabeth," Teyla says, taking the paper and replacing it with another. "Soon you will be fluent and my people will feel comfort in you speaking the language of our people."

"I feel like a child again."

"Learning is a path, and you have started down it. More importantly, you are doing something for yourself and the Athosians - I admire you."

Elizabeth laughed. "You speak many languages, too. I just don't understand why this one is harder than most I have encountered."

Teyla reached over and pressed her hand to Elizabeth's heart. Her hand was warm, and Elizabeth felt her face colour red. "Yours is an open heart, and that will guide you through to fluency." A small smile, and Elizabeth smiles back, always surprised at the gentle honesty of such an experienced warrior and leader. "Now, a new text, a new history. I'll read, then you follow."

Elizabeth nodded, listening to Teyla's lyrical voice speaking the truths of the Athosian people and feeling content in her choice.

—

"I'm reading, Rodney."

"War and Peace, yeah, yeah."

"Why are you here, anyway? Don't you have -" John waved a hand, holding the tome in the other. "Papers to write or tech to dissect?"

"I don't particularly think you dissect Ancient technology, but nice try. And unlike some, my paperwork is up to date." Rodney fidgets a bit and sits in the chair across from John's bed. "I'm bored, okay."

"And I'm reading, so either be quiet or leave."

Rodney looked around John's fairly bare room until he zeroed in on a copy of Golf Digest. He marched over to the desk, picked it up and marched back to the chair, slamming himself down in such a way it made John wince. "Golf Digest! This has got to be interesting!"

John nodded indulgently, rolling his eyes, and went back to swimming through Tolstoy's impossible prose.

Of course, Rodney had to narrate the entirety of a magazine, much to John's chagrin.

"Do you actually get anything from this magazine, or is it just a prop for rich preppy boys?"

"I'm not a preppy boy, firstly, and yes, I do get a lot out of it which is why I read it, Rodney."

Rodney snorted. "Huh. So it's like a home shopping catalogue with pretend articles? 'How to improve your swing'? That seems like something you'd go to a teacher in real life as apposed to reading about in a magazine."

John reached over and snatched the magazine from Rodney's hands, causing a loud "hey!" and an unbecoming pout in response. "Out."

"I'm bored, come on, give it back, I'll be quiet!"

"OUT. Go bother Zelenka, he's no doubt got something for you to do."

"Fine, whatever." Rodney stood and sighed loudly, dramatically. "I know when I'm not wanted."

John shifted on his bed, not looking up from his book. "See you in the Mess later."

"I - yes, I suppose I will."

"Bye."

"Bye," and Rodney hesitated at the doorway. "I didn't mean to bother you." There's a strange tone to his voice that makes John look up, brow furrowed.

"Hey, Rodney, I'm - I don't get a lot of downtime and I just -" John groaned, putting War and Peace in his lap. "You can stay, just be quiet, okay?"

Almost gleefully, Rodney bounced back to the chair across from John and snatched Golf Digest back. "I promise you I will not regale you with details of the newest golf clubs until you say I can."

John settled back on his bed, nodded, and smiled slightly to himself as Rodney flicked open the magazine, a determined look on his face. This could work, and John began the arduous Tolstoy task in companionable silence.

#fluffbruary #stargate atlantis #mcshep #elizabeth weir #teyla emmagan #is it shippy? idk but it's just nice fluff #i like this prompt #teylabeth

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hergan416 · 10 months

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The "something else" is Sherlock's facial expressions when John insists on coming with him for the theft.

Sherlock does not want to involve John. I mean, he would have just started with the assumption John was coming with if he did want to involve John.

And then there is this. Like..Sherlock looks annoyed/concerned the whole time John is like "I'm coming with, it involves me, we're partners, even if we end up in the same jail cell."

He relents...and eventually his face gets better.

And then I'm stuck trying to figure out the nuance in his facial expressions and I start getting lost.

He looks less grumpy but the line is back on his forehead here. What does that mean?

This is concerned and has the line so maybe concerned??

[Also that sentiment. Holy shit Sherlock.]

It's not the same as when he's being obviously sarcastic...

Like idk where I'm really going with this. I just...idk. There is something complicated going on between Sherlock and John this chapter and I'm trying to like. Find the words to describe it.

This all is the lens for the story of what Sherlock experiences that night. He's laying the groundwork for it...John repeatedly tries to make things go back to normal...but for Sherlock they are anything but.

You can kind of see that in the roof scene too, where John realizes that Sherlock is assuming John won't be involved in his mysteries anymore once he becomes a married man.

And there's this...parallel in Sherlock's language re:John to his language re:William being the Lord of Crime in the conversation on the roof:

I guess I'm just having such a hard time reading Shelock this chapter. He obviously has decided that sacrificing himself for John (and maybe for Liam) is important. He sends John away, letting John assume what he must while also lying about his intentions when going into the house alone... he's certainly not fully answering John's question about the misread and what that means...

[Was he lying about his intentions in the first place? Before all this happened?? Was he always planning to eliminate Milverton?]

Sorry this is so disjointed.

Anyway. Regardless of his intentions...the result is that things are NOT going back to normal, just like he assumed during the conversation on the roof. He protected John from the situation. He is going to jail alone. John can get married without worrying about the evidence against Mary. John may want to go on more adventures...but he doesn't have to worry about doing so while being married because Sherlock has effectively cut him off.

Sherlock communicated his hurt. Communicated that 221b will feel empty without John. Communicated that he has no right to keep John from his life because he likes it better this way.

Like...I do buy "friendship" in this VIZ translation even if I have read Sherlock's feelings as shippy here previously...but it doesn't really matter because there's still this betrayal. And even if Sherlock recognizes the way be was treating Mary was a test to see if she was worthy of John...like there is still this reaction of his to pull back and be like "You don't need her for respect. I respect you, I always have." And like that reaction just breaks my heart a little.

Again. Super rambly, and I don't really have a point, just a lot of feelings.

#moriarty the patriot #moriarty the patriot spoilers #moriarty the patriot volume 12 #moriarty the patriot volume 12 spoilers #john watson (ynm)#sherlock holmes (ynm)

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rosella-writes · 1 year

Note

happy friday!! how about “ you can rely on me, you know. ” for a pairing of your choice? :o

Thank you!! I chose some Solas & Iron Bull for this. Shippy if you squint. For @dadrunkwriting

Rating: G

~~~

"You have the Inquisitor," Solas had said. "And you have me."

Iron Bull once considered him full of shit. People say that sympathetic crap all the time, all dripping with condescension and pity and whatever else they fool themselves into thinking is empathy. But Solas is a dick, and even if Bull knows he's keeping things to himself, he's also a terrible liar. There was no lie in that promise.

And Iron Bull does have the Inquisitor. He knows that much. Despite barely reaching his belt buckle in height, Tilda Cadash is a larger-than-life force to be reckoned with, and she takes Bull's crap as seriously as she does a rasher of smoked nug flank. She doesn't pick and pry and hover and wring her hands — she waits, and she listens, and she treats him as she always has.

Solas is comforting in a different way. Their bickering over beliefs has all but quit — instead, Solas has been asking him questions, like how his people put on shirts. Iron Bull asks him if he fucks Fade-ladies. Solas turns fifteen different shades of red, and Bull wonders if they're not Fade-ladies but Fade-gents.

But then they fight one of those Fade-ladies and Bull changes his tune.

This one's important to the Fadewalker — Tilda's dragged them to the ass end of a civil war's final whimper to find her. It. Whatever. And when they discover it's turned into a demon — because of course it (she?) has — Solas loses his mind. He shouts at these mages and curses in his slippery language, and Iron Bull can't remember if he's ever heard him so much as raise his voice.

The binding falls quickly — Tilda, despite her lack of affinity for magic, seems to know exactly where to hit the spires to break them — and the spiky piece of demony horror that Iron Bull has been keeping off the others slumps, then falls. Solas runs to its side, puts up a hand to ward Bull away, and drops to his knees beside it.

It sure looks like a woman now.

He's talking to it, wringing his hands and sounding on the verge of tears. Iron Bull wants to take him away from here, away from the burning scent of death and scorched magic marks in the dirt. But he needs this.

The demon asks Solas for something, and it's like a mask of grief drops over him. Years and years show on his face, carved deep into the lines around his mouth. Bull's suddenly certain this isn't the first time this has happened to him.

That's why Tilda brought them here. That's why they rushed. That's why Solas had shouted and paced and now seemed so... dead. It's worse when he puts out his hands, and when the demon dissolves — just like the ones they kill at rifts, no different at all — Solas's face is made of flint.

He wanted to save just one, and he'd failed.

Solas kills the mages, and it's cold and dark and without mercy. Iron Bull doesn't feel anything at all when they fall — under the Qun they'd never have gotten this far, but he doesn't say that. He's not Qunari anymore anyway.

He's not surprised that the Fadewalker goes off on his own. He's a private guy, and Bull finds himself wishing he'd done the same when the dreadnought had sunk instead of drinking himself silly and making himself forget in the sparring ring. In his absence, he gets Tilda back home — Cole, in his weird-kid wisdom, follows them instead of Solas.

Iron Bull wakes up in his own bed, a week later, with Tilda shaking his arm.

"He's back," she hisses. "I can't get much out of him. Talk to him?"

Iron Bull groans and presses his head back into the soft pillow. "Or I could do what you did for me after the alliance failed and just... not talk about it."

Tilda can't focus her pale eyes on him, but she still manages to direct her mostly-blind stare directly at his face. "Solas needs different things than you do. He needs to talk or he begins to get... weird. Weirder. You know."

Iron Bull does know. He gets up.

He finds Solas hunched over some drawings in his lap, his ass sat on that sofa he's got shoved against the wall in the rotunda. There's space, so Bull sits next to him. Solas doesn't look up.

"Those look good," Iron Bull grunts, gesturing at the sketches. Solas scrubs some charcoal onto one to finish forming that demon's nose. "Looks just like her."

"It," Solas corrects him with a sniff. "Its pronouns were it and its."

Bull thinks briefly of Krem, then shakes the notion away. Demons aren't like his flesh and blood boys. "Wanna tell me about... it?"

"Why?" he snaps. "You hate spirits. Your fear has blinded you to their personhood. Do not pretend for my sake."

Bull shrugged. "Fine. I won't. I don't get it. But I do... well. I care." He tips his head to one side, then the other, then pushes through his discomfort and says with a wince, "About you."

Solas's snort speaks to his disbelief. He still doesn't look at Bull, not even sideways — he just focuses on those papers in his lap.

"You have the Inquisitor," Bull said in a low voice.

Solas's hand stills. His fingers are smudged from the charcoal he holds.

"And you have me," Bull finishes.

#dadwc #the iron bull #solas #tilda cadash #my writing #dragon age #tal vashoth #dai #dragon age inquisition

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archangelsammy · 1 year

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archangelsammy's supernatural fic recs! <3

keep in mind that there's gonna be a lot of random stuff here. I read pretty much anything and everything. do keep in mind the tags before you read! if you don't like a fic/ship that's here, then don't read it. I don't want to see any hate here please.

short fics <5,000w

It's A River (But Not In Egypt) by Lise (Sam/Lucifer)

He's still a liar. Maybe always has been. Season 7, Sam & Hallucifer. References to torture, more gen than shippy.

flutter by real-placebo-effect (Sam/Michael)

Suddenly, Sam sees where Gabriel gets it from. It's almost endearing. Cute and sweet, set in early season 7. Canon divergence.

[record scratch, freeze frame] yep. that's me, plummeting into hell. you might be wondering how i got myself into this situation. well, it all started when i was born by kbaycolt (Sam/Lucifer)

The fall to Hell takes seven days. Post-episode Swan Song, angst. Short, and open ending.

just say by real-placebo-effect (Sam/Lucifer)

He won't say it so he doesn't say anything. Sam unravels anyway. Short, sweet, and shippy.

I should have been a pair of ragged claws by sparklylulz (Sam/Lucifer)

He wonders if he’ll go to Hell for sympathizing with the devil. Great Sam characterization.

speaking by maplewix (Sam/Lucifer)

Sam teaches Lucifer how to talk with his hands. Lucifer teaches Sam about angels. Sam is deaf, and Lucifer is mute. Unfinished but worth it.

and so the tower fell by thequietwings (Sam/Lucifer)

Lucifer taught Sam how to speak Enochian in the Cage. Really is angst masquerading as cute scenes. Podfic available!

Find Me At The End of Time by River_of_Dreams (Sam & Lucifer)

Sam Winchester wakes up in the Cage, knowing he's just condemned himself to an eternity of torture. But Lucifer has defied expectations since the beginnings of Time. He will do it again at its end. Post-episode Swan Songs, can be read as pre-slash.

at the end of the day by sharpbluejay (Sam/Lucifer, Chuck & Lucifer)

You do not, under any circumstances, have to hand it to the Devil, except when you do.

Or it turns out that watching the Devil confront God (with a capital G) reminds Sam a little too much of himself yelling at John. This is a strange thing to notice as the world is ending. Says slash, but can be read as gen. Post-episode 11x22 We Happy Few.

I became insane, with long intervals of horrible sanity by barryallenistheflash (Sam & Jack)

Jack begins to sense there's something not quite right.

Oh, no.

There's something

terribly,

awfully

wrong.

omg brilliant. alternate s14.

Twenty Steps by piglet (rethira) (Sam/Lucifer)

So, you accidentally married the Devil. As it says on the tin! crack, hilarious.

choosing, not ceasing by mythpoetry (Sam/Lucifer)

Sam lets the devil ride him out of hell. It's not the worst idea he's ever had. Beautiful scene towards the end. s5 Lucifer characterisation.

Holy by maplewix (Sam/Lucifer)

“No, that’s not possible, the world’s changed since—since the beginning, Pangea and—”

"Not the holy places," Lucifer said quietly.

can be read as gen, religious symbolism & crying.

Demons Aren't Mice (but Neither are they Men) by ohjustdisarmalready (Sam & Castiel & Crowley)

Crowley and Sam make a book club in the dungeon. Castiel is a part-time member. So much symbolism. References to literature, but you don't need to have read them.

long-ish fics 5,000w-10,000w

Falling Down by ophan (message me your email if you'd like a copy of ophans works) (Sam/Lucifer)

Sam says, 'Are you going to do it? Are you going to try and burn the world again?'

When Lucifer replies his voice is just as Sam remembers it. Low and musing, but also hoarse now, and filled with something fractured and brittle. It's shocking, in every way. A s9 canon-divergent fic with s5 Lucifer characterization.

Night Moves by Safiyabat (Sam/Lucifer)

Lucifer visits Sam in his dreams as the Apocalypse rages around them. While he should be trying to convince Sam to say "Yes," Sam soon finds that the Adversary isn't exactly adversarial. Done with the prompt 'classic rock,' loved the way music features in this.

someone to eat the fruit by anon (Sam/Lucifer)

The Cage is not what Sam expects. Interesting take on the cage - seems dark but is actually light-hearted.

Regrettable Situations in Storage Room 3 by occasionally_always (Sam/Castiel)

It’s not easy to get to the Farmers Market in the middle of a pandemic, but desperate times call for desperate measures. Sam would do anything to get some fresh air and sunlight, Cas really, really wants his organic honey, and most importantly, Dean’s not home to stop them. Humor & domestic. Can be read as gen too.

The Courtship of Sam Winchester by twicefivemiles (Sam/Lucifer)

While away from Dean and working a job he hates to forget a past he hates more, the last thing Sam needs is an unwanted suitor in his room every night. So sweet and good. Set around 5x03.

thou shalt not covet by sonatine (Sam/Lucifer, unrequited Sam/Castiel)

The irony is that Lucifer’s vessel — Nick — is exactly the kind of guy Sam would try to pick up. Tall but not scrawny; the kind of brawny Midwest farm stock that Dean, who prefers natty dressers with elegant faces (Cas) or someone who looks like they crawled out of Donner’s Pass (Benny), would curl his lip at. Sam would like to deny that he has a type, but his history of ex-lovers tells a story of sharp eyes, sharper smiles, and an intellect like a battering ram that he can throw himself against. This is thee fic of all time. Actually got me to ship Sam/Lucifer.

long fics 10,000w-50,000w

Love in Twelve Acts by sparxwrites (Sam/Lucifer)

It's hard not to love someone when you know their life story. Lucifer, like all angels, can travel in time; what he sees in the past changes him. Really interesting fic, well worth the read.

The Fourth Wall Series by entanglednow (Dean/Cas, Sam/Lucifer)

The guys explore the joys of fanfiction. Brilliantly done, some beautiful moments in this series.

the crucifix was constructed wrong by tigriswolf (Sam & Dean, no ships)

Sam time travels from the end of Swan Song to midway through No Rest for the Wicked. Ain’t nobody’s plans left intact.

He opens his eyes. Uncurls, glances at the candles, the symbols. “Ruby,” he murmurs. Smiles slowly.

Resumes the ritual.

fell down, threw up by goodnightfern (Cas/Dean, Sam/Lucifer)

The spell works on all of the angels and Lucifer's punishment continues. As for Sam? He's gotta be hallucinating again. (AU after 8.23)

Monsters Out of Time by KillerofHope (Sam/Lucifer)

God vanishes with his sister, Sam finds himself waiting at the bunker for Dean. But Lucifer arrives first, feeling just as lost as Sam.

A relationship snaps into place that both don't want to feel guilty about. s11 divergence, very light-hearted for the ship that it is.

How to Fall by alas_horatio (Sam/Lucifer)

When a spell goes wrong Sam ends up stranded in the north Canadian wilderness with nothing to do but bunker down and wait for rescue, which wouldn't be so bad if it weren't for the broken angel he's accidentally brought along for the ride. So well done, one of the best Sam/Lucifer fics out there.

Pyrphoros by lumpy-space-princess (Sam/Lucifer)

And thus did he who was called Forethought descend from the mountain with a fistful of fire, a boon of civilization to all Mankind.

Three tales, of three gifts, told in three parts. Just amazing.

Smoke and Mirrors by itallstartedwithdefenestration (Sam/Lucifer)

Sam spends most of his dreams with Lucifer trying to prove that they're nothing alike. Until he realizes that they are, and that maybe, just maybe, he's sick of denying it.

Tangible by glassedplanets (Sam/Lucifer, Dean/Cas)

Wherein Sam's got the Devil whispering in his ear and he's well and truly fucked. Picks up after 7x15 and diverges from canon.

super long fics 50,000w-150,000w

A Young Writer Marked for Death by lysanatt (Sam/Lucifer, Michael/Adam)

Being an aspiring writer in Paris isn't easy, and with Adam wasting away from consumption, Sam's life sure is difficult. It could be worse, though: Adam could be dead or they could both be back in Kansas where they would end up in jail. Monsieur Lucifer could have asked them to leave Le Cabaret Perdu when he discovered the less than flattering poem that Adam wrote about him. Instead Sam makes a surprising deal with Lucifer that is going to change Adam's life — and his own. Sort-of Moulin Rouge AU with a happy ending.

The Light Beyond The Glass by ophan (Sam/Lucifer) (message me for the link)

There's a new Leviathan-eating monster on the loose, and Sam and Dean need to stop it before it starts eating humans. Trouble is, it can only be killed by an archangel. Luckily, Sam's found a summoning spell to take care of that. A s7 canon divergence fic with s5 Lucifer characterization.

Some Kind of Home by SansPellegrino (Sam/Lucifer, Dean/Cas)

In which Sam gets kicked out of his own house and ends up being taken in by the Miltons; a somewhat dysfunctional family of seven held together by the two eldest brothers in the absence of their parents. Sam's plan is to stay with them until Dean comes home from serving in Afghanistan, and then he'll return to Stanford. But, as usual, other things just get in the way.

Stairway to Heaven by clowns_or_midgets, jadeys-world, snarkymuch (Sam/Lucifer)

AU. To save his brother, Sam makes a deal with the devil. The creature he expects and the man he actually encounters are two different beings, and soon he will have to choose between what he knows is right and what his heart desires.

Due Cause by alas_horatio (Sam/Lucifer, Dean/Cas)

Sam gets his first job at the law firm of his dreams, which just happens to be the workplace of his law-school idol, who in real life is a good deal more cynical and a great deal more creepy than he might have imagined. Also: Cas runs a snack cart. Also: Dean helps.

Who Do You Think You're Fooling? by all_the_kings_ham (Sam/Lucifer)

Just because you can find help on the side of the road doesn't mean that Sam has to accept that help with out reservations.

The Boy Who Blocked His Own Shot by all_the_kings_ham (Sam/Lucifer)

It was such a simple plan.

How did it go so wrong so fast?

bad moon rising by gone_girl (no ships)

There are many American cults of worship, and none of them will ever have a place for the Winchester brothers. Arab Winchesters! Really good.

That's all folks! Leave a kudos/bookmark on the fics if you like them! This list is all thanks to @quietwingsinthesky and @godsprettiestprincess over on the archangel discord so thanks guys for the motivation <3

#supernatural #sam winchester #spn lucifer #dean winchester #hallucifer #supernatural fanfic recs #castiel #fic recs #supernatural fic recs #samifer #destiel #midam #gen fic #quietwingsinthesky #ramseynatural #my fic recs #spn michael #adam milligan

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frosty-the-killer-doll · 7 months

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for the shippy ask game, can you rant about a possible poly relationship of the Snow System and how Khione would fit and work with Caitlin and Frost, really anything you have to say about that whole dynamic as a romantic or partly romantic relationship? and possibly maybe perhaps if you can also rant about Barrisco and your thoughts on it? i hope it's okay to ask these!

it's always okay my darling

Due to being simple and going tunnel vision when its abt the OTP, I've never actually thought about Khione joining Killersnow, but I fucking love the idea!

Now, obvi, I am living in a timeline where Khione's existence doesn't precede any death nor need any mechanical malfunction. SO SO SO in my head, Frost survived her time as Hellfrost and the battle with Earth-Prime's Deathstorm. But, but, but, Frost practically became a vacuum for all the energy of every soul Deathstorm got. All that energy melded and molded so much that it depleted Frost's own, making her sick (similar to Caitlin's cold that Carla helped her with) until suddenly, the energy came together and manifested as a completely new alter!

That's my alternative Khione origin story, anyway. And y'all KNOW i <3 killersnow more when they share a bod, so the split never happened in my world, so now there's three girlies in one form!

(also: M*rk Bl*ine does not exist within this world. Maybe he was never born, maybe he died in a horrible accident that was slow and painful and bloody. Either way, he doesn't know them and has no relationship with Frost or friendship with Khione or partnership with Caitlin.)

Caitlin has been down the discovering-an-alter road before, right? And last time, she didn't exactly treat Frost well. Frost didn't treat her well, either. At the start, they were selfish and hateful and scared and desperate. Caitlin doesn't want to repeat her past mistakes, and welcomes Khione as gracefully as she can manage with her shock.

Frost, though? She's jealous. Jealous that Khione gets on Caitlin's good side so early, after Frost had to spend so many years fighting for a right to their own body. Jealous that Khione immediately gets all the trust and niceties and respect that Frost was denied over and over again. So she acts out. Starting fights with Caitlin over little things, freezing Khione out, trying desperately to convince everyone that Khione cannot be trusted due to being the after effect of Deathstorm Prime.

Khione is just kinda trying to figure out existence, tryingg to get used to walking, trying to burn everyone's names to memory. She mostly is too focused on figuring things out to notice that Frost doesn't like her.

what I'm saying is: Snowkhione friends to lovers and Khionefrost one-sided enemies to lovers!

WHEN the Snow System makes up and Frost communicates her feelings in a healthy way, though-

Now, Khione is basically exactly in Frost's old shoes, metaphorically speaking. Maybe literally speaking bc she doesn't know her own style yet. She doesn't know her name, she doesn't know who she is, or what she is, or if she likes cheese fries. Just like how Frost never had a birthday party until she was an adult and only found out her favorite ice cream flavor a few years ago. So they get close really quick, once Frost gets over the unfairness of it all. Frost becomes a life coach to Khione, like Ralph passed the torch to her, and she inspires and encourages Khione to take risks and have her own adventures and do whatever the fuck she wants, to decide what she likes. So Khione takes Frost's old name.

And now it's Caitlin who's jealous. And Caitlin tries to repress that, per usual, but it comes out in bursts like water charging through cracks in a dam. So Caitlin and Khione find something that interests them both: botany. Khione has a deep, special interest in anything to do with life itself, especially the elements, and Caitlin knows a lot about the human body due to being a doctor and having a fascination with plants in high school c; i mean, she knew everything about mistletoe on the fucking spot, so it's really not even a meta joke that Caitlin may really like plants

So the Snow System makes up again, and the two keep deepening their friendships with Khione, and sometimes when Khione is just barely co-con with the both of them she can feel how much love Frost and Caitlin have for each other, how much Frost adores making Caitlin laugh, how much Caitlin likes the shine in their eyes that Frost gives them... how differently colored their relationship is compared to how they are with Khione.

And now Khione's jealous.

And that has never happened before.

So she very bluntly asks the two people she knows the best about jealousy and how to cope with crushes and what romance even is and how do you go about getting a girlfriend and what if you think you like your best friends and she very blatantly tells them that she is trying to cope with wanting to be with them.

She doesn't say it like she expects the feelings to be returned, or that she's flirting, or anything. She just innocently admits her feelings and asks their advice on it. And that is the cutest, most respectful, most genuine thing they have ever fucking seen. And now Killersnow realize that some of the jealousy they felt was because they were worried that Khione would steal their girlfriend. And now they realize that nobody has to steal anybody. Thus... the ot3 is born.

Khione and the bad bitches she pulled by being autistic.

OKAY BARRISCO TIME

u cannot tell me these two men have not had gay sex. they are fast friends and uKNOW barry hasn't had many friends in his life. his best friend is a girl he's in love with and they've always been insanely physically affectionate very casually. i don't think barry... really knows that society imposes this, like, boundary when it comes to immense physical affecgion? yknow what i'm talking about? like some people think its gay to kiss the homies on the cheek or hold your guy friend's hand or wipe food off his lips. and barry's only close friend was a girl he loved that loved him. there's appearantly a boundary between the physical affection u can give a friend and the affection u can give a lover and barry never got the memo.

so barry's out here, constantly touching cisco and holding him and going in for fakeout jokey kisses as he's always done with iris. and cisco believes that b has been purposefully flirting with him for MONTHS. so the next time barry goes in for a joke kiss that he plans on pulling away from, cisco does not pull back. cisco thinks it's real. and he kisses barry allen right there and then.

and then he sees the surprise on barry's face and the realization crashes down on him and suddenly he has to get out of here but barry is the fucking flash and his thoughts run faster than cisco's and barry realizes that hey, he always wanted the fake kisses with iris to be real, and hey, he doesn't feel any different with cisco. he wants it to be real, too.

so barry grabs cisco w super speed and suddenly cisco realizes that he is making out with the flash. and there's still tears of humiliation on cisco's face but barry wipes them off. and then they're at cisco's apartment and then barry is vibrating and holy shit linda did not undersell how good that feels, and boom, gay sex time

i hope these were sufficient 🫡 send me asks for this ship game!

#me on my way to use overly familiar terms of endearment on my mutuals 🏃‍♂️🏃‍♂️🏃‍♂️#arrowverse polycule au #frosty answers #barrisco #barriscowest #killersnow #snowkhione #frostkhione #khionesnowfrost #?#snow posting

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