#anxiety and depression never explained all of the struggles

[mountains-and-wildflowers]

I am 31 years old and just found out I have ADHD.

#this is fine #anxiety and depression never explained all of the struggles #I'm not freaking out

[holyluvr]

The membership holders at my workplace after making a rude teasing comment toward me that insinuates that they know something about me isn’t quite right and feel entitled to an explanation after all of this time + the rest of their clique quieting down to see how I answer when I go over to their table to check on my favorite dogs:

#… #I think they all believe it’s autism and anxiety if I go off of a comment my boss made to me after hours once #bc she was talking about her family and mentioned her wife having autism depression and anxiety problems #then said to me that I know what that’s like so she didn’t need to explain and I was like ☺️?sorry to hear she’s struggling! #I have NEVER mentioned mental illness to anyone at this job even when they were telling me they were mentally ill. so ?

[81folklore]

this is me trying - CL16

pairing: charles leclerc x small!singer!reader (fc: olivia rodrigo)

summary: after a twitter thread was made talking about the struggles you faced in a horrible way, you release a song you wrote with charles to talk about it

authors note: i am in no way saying olivia has struggled with or is dealing with anything mentioned in this story. this song means alot to me as someone who struggles with both addiction and my mental health so if im projecting..no one needs to know😁 i honestly have no clue how this is going to turn out but we will see. anything in bold italics is french

warnings: talks of addiction, depression, anxiety and suicide. alcohol addiction, drugs and self harm are all mentioned. the topics of this is me trying are mentioned, for obvious reasons but in a more personally focused way (if that makes sense). unwarrented hate (?). nothing really goes into detail but just regular warnings, please reach out to someone if you are struggling!!

authors note 2: i had to dust this one off and I HATE IT. its literally my least favorite work ive ever done so please feel free to keep scrolling😭😭 i just kept projecting by accident and it honestly kind of got out of hand. im also SO BAD with my wording so i have no clue if any of it sounds how i wanted it too!!

authors note 3: after reading it over i realised i never actually explained what i was talking about in the song thread so quickly, charles’ and yn split for a short period after yn started shutting him out, she spoke to someone (the stranger) who helped her start to extend the branches back out to charles and they got back together around 11 ish months before the song was released!! the fans never knew why they broke up, there was some speculation but most of it was dropped when they got back toegther

masterlist

yourusername

liked by charles_leclerc, arthur_leclerc and 2,457 others

good food, yummy people😋

view comments

arthur_leclerc: you mean good people yummy food right?

yourusername: suuure😁

charles_leclerc: beautiful girl

yourusername: love you!!

user7: what is charles doing in the 5th picture😭😭

yourusername: he dropped his airpod😭

user10: girl have you seen twitter…

user75: charles run as fast as you can

user2: there is no way charles knew he’d never be with someone like that💀

user10: what and he’d be with someone like you??

user6: wait what is happening in these comments what happened on twitter?

user7: someone made a thread ‘exposing’ yn but its just a bunch of bullshit that his fans are using because they dont like yn

yourusername

liked by pierregasly, charles_leclerc and 3,562 other

studio time with baeee💋💋

view comments

charles_leclerc: my favorite musician💐

charles_leclerc: i love you so much

yourusername: you mean the world to me charlie

pierregasly: kika wants to know if she can come next time

yourusername: tell her to text me so we can arrange it!!

user73: oh my god new music soon

user64: does this mean charles is on her new music?!

yourusername: maybeee

user64: GIRL DONT TEASE US LIKE THIS

user99: im so sorry about whats happening on twitter you dont deserve that

user2: yes she does

arthur_leclerc: can you tell charles to stop talking about your music when im not allowed to hear it, please🙏

yourusername: sorry arthur!! wanna come for a car ride and listen to it with us??

arthur_leclerc: please please please

user82: yn and charles taking arthur on a car ride to listen to her new song, oh what if i cried😭😭

arthur_leclerc added to their story

seen by yourusername, charles_leclerc and 86,289 others

*text in first picture reads: 🤍🤍* *text in second picture reads: so unbelievably proud of my sister*

yourusername

liked by charles_leclerc, sebastianvettel and 8,215 others

if you had told me a year ago that not only would i still be here but i would be releasing a song talking about the darkest times of my life with the love of my life by my side i would never have believed you.

throughout the past few months i have revisited times of my life i wish i could have left behind but ive learnt that accepting that this is a part of me now is important in my journey of moving forwards, and in moving forwards ive learnt that my struggles do not define me and i wont be embarrassed by things that have affected me

sometimes i wish i could go back and erase that part of my life, erase the way i felt, erase the way i treated the people i loved the most. but i cant, and i wont let people belittle me for that time anymore

if you have struggled in the past or are struggling today, you are not alone. its a cliche thing to say but i promise you at least one other person will be experiencing the feelings your feeling, you may not know them, you may never know them but you are not alone, you never have been and you never will be

you are not weak for struggling, you are not weak for finding ways to cope, no matter what they may be, you are not weak for shutting people out and you are not weak for reaching out for help, no matter how little you think you need it. you deserve help, no matter how small your problems may seem to you, you are worthy of being safe, you are worthy of being happy

i never thought i would release a song highlighting those times for me, but i wanted anyone whose been through these things to know that i love you and i will always love you; this is me trying out now on all platforms❤️‍🩹

view comments

arthur_leclerc: i am so so proud of you, you deserve all the happiness in the world

charles_leclerc: you mean the world to me, i am so proud of what you have achieved and i will be by your side forever and always

yourusername: charlie i hold so much love for you i feel like i may explode

user55: ive been struggling with an addiction for a while, i cannot express the way this song feels. just, thank you so much

yourusername: im right beind you darling, i believe in you❤️‍🩹

user81: i fear if i listen to this anywhere outside of the comfort of my room i will break down in tears

user93: 🩵🩵

user42: I😭JUST😭WANTED😭YOU😭TO😭KNOW😭THAT😭THIS😭IS😭ME😭TRYING😭

sebastianvettel: im so proud of you yn, come visit with charles soon sweetheart

yourusername: dropping everything and coming right now

lewishamilton: 💜💜

yourusername: hi lewis🤭🤭

user70: YN HELP😭😭 (just like me fr)

charles_leclerc and yourusername added to their stories

seen by pierregasly, sebastianvettel and 2,348,172 others

*text on first photo reads: i hold so much love for you🩷* *text on second photo reads: my bestest friend in the entire universe🩵*

#f1 x reader #f1 instagram au #f1 smau #f1 social media au #social media au #formula 1 insta au #formula 1 social media au #charles leclerc x reader #charles leclerc social media au #charles leclerc insta au #charles leclerc

[delicate-moon-princess]

that last ask has me thinking about soft daddy Henry who cares so much about your mental health. I have adhd (not bad but it’s there) and I really struggle with depression and anxiety in the wrong environment. I can just see daddy!Henry mode activated if you went to a party you didn’t know would be so loud and chaotic. He has you lean against a corner and breathe in sync with him, uses his charm to find a perfect excuse to leave. You’re all “I’ll be okay, we don’t have to go,” and he just gives you that daddy look like he can’t believe you would downplay your needs like that, and he low (high) key wants to spank you for it. And then he cuddles you all night long. But then if you get depressed (maybe you’re PMSing, maybe someone said something that triggered a bad thought cycle), he runs you a bubble bath and pours you a glass of wine and rubs your shoulders and snuggles you through your favorite Disney movie. And goodness help them, if someone did say something negative to you, but he would spend the night making you fall apart on his fingers and tongue until you forgot all about that silly person 🤭

(Henry is a big protective bear in this one, so a gif of Walter had to be used obviously.)

 Overwhelmed

A party gets out of hand when some harsh words are thrown around. Henry is there to pick up the pieces, but it’s not always so easy healing your broken mind. (Based on this original ask)

Warning: 18+ smutty content, RPF, minor alcohol consumption, bullying, minor violence, bad thoughts and self image, mental health issues, panic attacks, comfort, daddy kink (not exactly dd/lg, but could have undertones), oral (f receiving), Henry being a gentleman and expecting nothing in return 🤭, multiple orgasms

5.1k words

Any typos are my own

******

This was supposed to be a small get together. That’s what you were told. A plan for a few friends to gather for a couple drinks at home. Maybe you would play some board games.

But a few people quickly turned into loads. And a couple drinks was soon an incessant river of alcohol. Now you found yourself stuck in the middle of a jumping house party.

At least thirty sweaty bodies were packed into the mediocre sized home. And new faces seemed to be showing up every minute. And the only person you knew in this place, Henry, had left to go get you some water when he saw you start to panic.��

This definitely wasn’t your kind of crowd.

Miraculously, he had found a quiet corner for you to wait in. So that is where you waited for him, as patiently as you could. You did your best to remain calm as the loud music thudded in the other room. The vibrations rattled your throbbing head. You leaned against the wall in the empty hallway, sighing.

Why did social gatherings like this overwhelm you? It always seemed like a good idea in theory. A place to meet with people, an opportunity to make new friends. But your imbalanced brain had a way of ruining things. You could never enjoy yourself. And you were sure you weren’t a joy to be around when you got overstimulated like this.

Wait for Henry, you told yourself. Don’t get too worked up. He will be back soon.

You heard footsteps approaching, so you lifted your head with a weak smile. You were expecting him to return, and all would be well again. Only it wasn’t him. Instead it was the host of the party, the one who told you it was a small gathering.

Jake. A friend of Henry’s. One that always gave you bad vibes. You bit your tongue with your bad feelings about him. If your man liked him, so should you. You were being paranoid. As always.

“Hi, Jake.” You wiped the anxious sweat from your brow, offering him a polite smile. “Quite the party.”

“What are you doing here? I thought you left already.” His voice seemed to be laced with distaste, but you figured you were imagining it. 

“I’m waiting for Henry. He left to get us some water.” You explained, wiping your damp palms on your thighs.

“Your little errand boy, right?”

“H-Huh?” You uttered in confusion. Errand boy?

“You’ve got him wrapped around your finger, don’t you? You say jump and he says how high.” He spat, crossing his arms

“Jake, I’m not-” Perhaps you were about to stick up for yourself, but he cut you off again so the words died in your throat.

“He can’t seem to go anywhere without you tagging along. Asking him for a guys night is like pulling teeth. Always spending time with the old ball and chain. You’re nagging him 24/7, aren’t you?” He scoffed.

“No, I…” You trailed off, thinking long and hard. Did you nag him?

Jake gave you hardly any time to think before spurting out more insults.

“Y’know I never could see what he saw in you. No one can. The man can get anyone. Everyone knows that. So why does he go and pick a ugly slag like you?” He jabbed, and you felt your eyes prick.

Your chest tightened. That was a question you asked yourself everyday. Everytime you woke up next to Henry. When he greeted you with a kiss and a smile. A beautiful way to start the day. But deep down it made you feel vulnerable. 

What did you do to deserve him? Nothing. Nothing at all. You were nobody. A nobody with a broken mind. 

“Why don’t you leave so the man can actually have some fun for once?” He was right. 

You blinked and didn’t say anything. You took his advice though, wobbling away as your heart began to beat quicker. You had to get out of here. The front door never seemed so far away.

You could already feel yourself spiraling as you rounded the corner to the living room. It was packed and loud. More people shuffled into your sight range. With each new face, it felt harder to breathe. You were suffocated.

You inhaled shakily, stumbling a little. You collided with a hard body, and as you were about to whip around a pair of hands cupped your shoulders. You tried to turn and apologize, but the person spoke.

“Darling? Are you alright?” Henry. You looked at him, taking in his features. He was here to protect you. But why weren’t you able to calm down? 

His lips were moving, though you couldn’t hear him. Everything was muffled. The people, the music, his voice. It all sounded far away. Like you were underwater. 

Your breathing was labored, your brain dissociating when the panic almost overtook you. The only way you were going to survive this was by detaching your mind from your body.

You felt yourself being moved. His solid presence was behind you, holding you by your shoulders. Your attention was focused on the floor. Pairs of shuffling shoes invaded your vision as he guided you through the crowd.

The fresh air entered your lungs when he got you outside. Cool and refreshing, unlike the stuffy hot air inside the house. Your hands shook as you reached up to hold your face, hiccuping when you were forced back to reality.

“Hey, hey. It’s okay, I’m here. You’re safe, I promise.” His hand gently laid on your back, not crowding you.

“Breathe, baby. Breathe in against my hand here.” He placed his other palm on your stomach, a gentle reminder to breathe in through your diaphragm.

You closed your eyes, inhaling as you concentrated on not panicking. Your breathing was shaky but it did wonders to calm you. His soft voice rang in your ears, praising you.

“There she is, good girl. I knew you could do it, I knew you could work yourself down.” He murmured. 

He stroked your moist cheek, pushing your hair away from your sweaty forehead. You leaned into his touch, your rapid heart slowing.

“Darling, what happened in there?” His face showed his worry.

“I… I got a little overwhelmed. That’s all.” You murmured while glancing down at the ground. He didn’t need to know about your encounter with Jake.

He rubbed the base of your neck sympathetically. He could tell there was more. Something was bothering you.

“I’m sorry, sweetheart. I didn’t realize it would be so crowded.” He kissed your temple as he apologized.

“It’s alright. Neither of us could have known Jake would invite everyone he knew.” You gave him a weak smile, shaking your head.

You thought you kept your tone even while speaking about that wretched man. Henry caught it. He didn’t let his surprise be known. He was confused by your sudden annoyance towards Jake, who you tolerated before.

“Let’s go home, princess. I think we’ve had enough fun for one night.” He took your hand, kissing your knuckles while giving you a dazzling smile.

You frowned, disappointed in yourself for not being able to handle a simple house party. He had seemed really excited about this get together. Even as more people showed up, he kept his smile and light heartedness. That was until your mood had dropped.

Jake was right. Henry couldn’t have fun with you around. You ruin everything. Quickly, you had to fix this.   

“No, no- I’m okay. I-I only needed a breather.” You shook your head frantically, swallowing. You grimaced when you realized how dry your throat was.

His expression dropped slightly, resembling a scold. He held the water out to you after opening it, silently urging you to drink. You took the bottle sheepishly, sipping from it slowly. 

“We’re not staying here anymore. We need to go home and decompress. Both of us.” He sighed when you pouted, softening his features as he rubbed your shoulders. He leaned in, kissing between your brows as you furrowed them.

“I really need to snuggle my favorite girl right now, okay? We can have a nice bubble bath. I’ll wash you up then maybe we can watch a movie after I get you into some warm pajamas.” He leveled with you, cupping your cheek.

“Okay...” You smiled weakly. Cuddling with him sounded better than anything. 

“Come on, let’s get out of here.” He started to turn towards the car.

“Hey, you two!” A voice called out from behind you, a familiar one that made you both freeze. For different reasons.

Henry spun around first, a grin on his face as he greeted his friend. They embraced in a hug as you turned slowly, trying to keep a polite smile. You hoped Jake would just let you two go without any snide comment.

The man in question spared you a glance as Henry patted his shoulder. 

“Hey, man. This has been quite the party. Y/N and I had a great time.” 

“Really? You’re leaving so soon.” Jake questioned, his brow raising in suspicion.

“Oh, I’ve got an early meeting in the morning. My manager contacted me with some stuff about emergency re-shoots. You know how it goes, man.” He quickly came up with a solid excuse, smooth as ever.

“Yeah, I know how it goes. It’s whatever the lady says right, pal?” Jake took a hearty swig of his beer, staring your man in the eye as his face dropped. You shifted on your feet, looking down in shame.

 “Sorry?” 

“Tell me, does she carry your balls around in her purse? Because you seem to have lost your pair.” He bit out viciously, the liquid courage burning in his chest.

“What did you just say?” Henry reared up, taking one long stride to get right in the other man’s face. 

His brows were pinched angrily. Jake’s eyes widened in the slightest, but the alcohol in his system was making him braver. He didn’t back down.

“You heard me. Ever since she’s been tagging along, you’ve turned into an utter bore. Must be some good pussy, because it seems to have sucked the life out of you.” He spit.

The anger that flashed on your boyfriend’s face was bone-chilling. In the blink of an eye, he had the smaller man’s collar clenched in his fists. Yanking him upwards, Henry shook him while growling.

“Do you think the fact that you’re hammered is going to keep me from punching your teeth in? I’m going to make you regret disrespecting her.” He growled dangerously.

You finally came to your senses when you saw him pull his fist backwards. Jake flinched. Thankfully you were able to stop your boyfriend before his knuckles were to connect with the drunk’s jaw.

“Don’t.” You gasped softly, catching his gaze while holding his arm in both of your hands. His eye twitched as his fist clenched tighter. You felt the tendons in his forearm jerk. You squeezed reassuringly.

You shook your head silently, a wordless plea for him to not escalate this. Punching him would only make things worse. Jake wasn’t worth it.

The anger dissipated from his face as he gazed at you. He lowered his fist, while his other hand on Jake’s collar loosened. Henry was about to let him go completely, until Jake scoffed under his breath.

“Pfft. Pussy-whipped.”

The actor’s face twisted once more. You sighed, cursing the hammered bastard mentally. He wasn’t making this any easier. You could tell Henry was still itching to beat him mercilessly. Said man grunted, your hand falling from his arm as he gripped Jake’s collar once more.

The large man lifted the smaller one off the ground. At least three feet upwards before tossing him on the grass in the front yard. You grimaced as he fell on his back in a heavy heap. Luckily Henry chose to drop him in the grass, as opposed to the pavement. 

You could see Jake’s ego wounded immediately, and you would have laughed if the situation wasn’t so serious. You crossed your arms, holding in a sigh as Henry bent down to talk to him.

“Don’t bother trying to apologize tomorrow when you sober up. Or else I’ll be forced to come back here and finish what I started.” He stood up, glaring at him for one last moment before he turned to you.

“Let’s go.” He whispered, walking behind you as he led you to the car. He kept you from even sparing at glance at Jake.  

You were silent as he got you in the car, looking down at your lap as he got in the driver's seat. He looked at you, you could feel his stare burning into you. Shame kept you from looking at him.

“Darling… Did Jake say something to you earlier?” He finally broke the silence. 

You opened your mouth, before closing it with a nod. Tears welled up as you recalled his hurtful words. From earlier in the night, and from now.

“What did he say to you?” He prodded.

You finally looked at him, and his jaw ticked when he saw your puffy eyes. Right then, he felt like going back and beating that idiot to a pulp for making his baby girl cry.  Your sniffles broke his heart.

“I-I don’t… I don’t want to talk about it.” You hiccuped, shaking your head. 

“Is that what got you so upset?” His voice was soft, almost broken with guilt. He should have never left you alone. 

You shrugged, Jake’s badgering surely didn’t help your already overstimulated mind. Henry bit his lip as he was forced to push away his anger to comfort you. He stroked your hair, rubbing your shoulder.

“Baby..” He trailed off, being interrupted by you.

“I just want to go home. And take that bubble bath you promised.” You begged, causing him to sigh and let it go for now. He gave you a smile.

“Of course, sweetheart. Let's go home.” He kissed your cheek before pulling away, turning the car on and driving.

Your eyelids were heavy, your head resting on your hand. You let them close for the rest of the car ride home. Your silence was making him want to squirm, but he did his best to not show his displeasure. It killed him to see you so upset.

When he parked he was sure you had fallen asleep, but you surprised him by lifting your head. He turned the car off, reaching to cup your cheek.

“Are you okay, my baby girl?” He searched your face for any more signs of tears. He saw only the dried streaks from earlier. 

You gave him a weak smile, and it did little to mend his broken heart. He matched your smile though, stroking your hair away from your face as you leaned into his hand.

“I’m okay. I promise.” Your voice was softer, smaller.

He leaned forward to kiss you, and you kissed back half heartedly. Henry pulled away, knowing you were still trying to put on a brave face for him.

His brave girl. You didn’t always have to be strong. That’s what he was here for. He wasn’t going to push you. You would talk to him eventually. You always did. 

“Let’s get inside, pumpkin.” He kissed your knuckles before getting out of the car. Of course he opened your door and helped you out.

You held his hand as he led you inside. He knelt in front of you once he closed the door, working on taking your heels off for you.

“You look so beautiful tonight… I still can’t believe you gave a man like me even a chance.” He murmured the last part to himself, rubbing your ankles when your shoes were gone.

You couldn’t quell the quiver of your lip. You’re the one who didn’t deserve him. Not in the slightest. Jake was right. What does a man like him see in a woman like you?

You masked with a smile, stroking his hair as he kissed your clothed hips. He watched you carefully, still on his knees in front of you.

“What do I have to do for you to see how perfect you are?” He whispered as he nuzzled your stomach, squeezing you close.

You hiccuped quietly. Your fingers weaved into his hair, feeling his silky curls between your digits. The sensation calmed you a little.

Soon, his warmth pulled away and when you opened your eyes again, he was standing. He cupped your cheek, his thumb rubbing your flesh.

“I promised you a bubble bath. Come on, sweetheart.” He bent down to kiss your nose. You smiled lightly. 

You both went into the master bathroom, where you sat on the closed toilet lid. He turned to mess with the knobs on the large tub. The water filled the basin, then he added bubbles. 

You took a deep breath, the soft smell of vanilla and brown sugar filled your nostrils. The scent caused you to relax, the sound of the water lulling you into a calm state.

Henry stood up, helping you stand and start to undress. His fingers unzipped your dress, letting it fall off your body and pool at your feet on the tile floor. You shivered when his digits trailed over your form. They hooked on your panties and pulled them down your legs.

He helped you into the tub, and you let out a sigh as you sunk into the warm, scented water. The bubbles covered your chest, and you let yourself rest for a second. He stroked your hair, an added comfort to the warm bath.

“How does that feel, darling?” He spoke softly, his hands disappearing. You heard liquid being poured into a glass.

The sneaky devil had snagged a bottle of your favorite wine before coming up here. He was pouring it into the stemmed glass. Somehow you hadn’t noticed he grabbed it. He glanced back at you with a smirk. How did he know exactly what you needed?

“It feels perfect.” You whispered, in awe of this man. He handed you the wine, and you took a smooth sip. You hummed.

Well, it was almost perfect. There was one thing missing.

“Come in with me?” You blinked up at him, your hand wrapped around his wrist when he went to sit beside the tub.

He melted, nodding his head instantly. Anything you wanted, he would not hesitate to give to you. And anything he couldn’t do, it killed him that he wasn’t able to fulfill your every need. Thankfully, this was a simple request. He began to undress as you set the glass aside.

You watched him unashamed. This beautiful man was yours. All yours. You felt your heart begin to swell. As it always did when you thought about the fact that you were his and he was yours.

How did something like that happen to someone like you? It was unbelievable.

You scooted forward as he lowered himself in. He dragged you back into his chest after he was seated, making you relax in his embrace. He began to wash you, his breath ghosting over your shoulder as he kissed it.

“It kills me seeing you so upset.” Henry finally spoke after a lull of comfortable silence.

You pouted, feeling guilty about worrying him. Before you could open your mouth to apologize, he cut you off.

“Don’t you dare say you’re sorry.” He turned your head, looking at you seriously. “None of this is your fault.”

You closed your mouth, swallowing your apology as he stroked your cheek. He sighed to himself as he traced your lower lip with his thumb.

“It took every ounce of my self control not to beat him to a bloody pulp for disrespecting you.” His voice was flat.

The protective tone he held made your heart skip a beat, and a tingle to grow between your legs. A smile ghosted your lips, your hand coming up to cup his face.

“I know. I’m starting to think I should have let you.” You cracked a smile. A real one.

“I would have. All you have to do is ask.” He turned to kiss your palm. You laid your head on his shoulder, his arms around you making you feel safe. 

“I know you would.” 

Your words had the whisper of sadness. He was perfect. Too perfect for you. There must be a catch. Henry kissed the top of your head, squeezing you gently.

“Do you want to talk about what he said to you?” He murmured, dragging the washcloth down your arms.

You sighed, his touch easing you enough to talk about it. You tell him your encounter with Jake, from the very beginning. Tears burned in your eyes as you retold the story, but they didn’t fall as you repeated his hateful words.

“He said you were too good for me. And no one understands what you see in me.” You looked at him, blinking away your tears. You don’t tell him the harsher words Jake uttered to you. No reason for him to get angry again.

“And you believed him.” It wasn’t a question. He could tell by your expression that the drunk’s words resonated deep within you. 

You shrugged. He kissed the back of your neck, breathing in your scent. He sighed, his nose pressed against your skin.

“I wish I had the words to change your mind, my love. I don’t like the way you view yourself. While you think I’m too good for you, I believe in the opposite. It is you who is too good for me.

Every morning when I wake up next to you, I always ask myself one thing. ‘What did a fool like me do to deserve such an amazing, beautiful woman?’. I still don’t have an answer.”

He kissed the side of your face, his lips next to your ear. You shivered, hanging onto every word as his hands rubbed your sides.

“But I try not to dwell on it. Because every moment I spend with you is a gift. And I much rather enjoy it and then spend our time together stressing.”

You nuzzled him as he squeezed you. You sniffled, his words calming your woeful heart. You pressed your lips to his cheek, whispering against his skin. 

“Thank you, Henry. You always know how to fix things.”

“Anything for my precious girl. Anymore wine, sweetheart?” He offered you the almost empty glass. You shook your head, gesturing for him to finish it.

He winked at you and tossed it back. You watched as his tongue came out to lick the rest off his lips. Your mouth watered. His taste was intoxicating by itself, mixed with the sweet wine it had to be heavenly.

 You decided not to wonder any longer, pressing your lips to his. He hummed, deepening the kiss as he stroked your tongue with his. You gasped into his mouth when you felt his half hard cock twitch against your spine.

He grunted, smirking as he nipped at your lower lip. He squeezed your hips, pulling away. His nose brushed against yours.

“Let’s get out and dry off, shall we? Get into some warm pajamas and then you can pick a movie to watch.”

You grinned as you started to brainstorm about which movie you were going to pick. You were off in your own world as he helped you out of the tub. He quickly dried himself. Then gently patted your body dry with a fresh towel.

You hummed a soft tune, a sign to Henry that you were starting to feel like yourself again. The material of the soft towel was making you relax. Your skin still smelled of vanilla, as did his. 

He kissed the top of your head after he was done, both of you still nude until he wrapped the towel around you. You kept stealing glances at his naked form. He smirked to himself.

“Go wait for me on the bed. I’ll pick out something comfortable for you to wear.” He pecked your lips, patting your side to urge you towards the bedroom.

You bit your lip and nodded, leaving him in the bathroom. You made sure you weren’t dripping any water before sitting on the edge of the bed. You grabbed the remote, browsing for something to watch.

Henry entered, fully clothed now as he held a pair of clothes for you in one hand. In the other, a bottle of lotion.

“I’ll get you dressed, but first-lotion.” He knew your routine.

You smiled at him, watching him massage the lotion into your shoulders and arms. He lowered the towel to get your back as he sat behind you. Your eyes were closed, listening to his breathing as he lathered you up.

His large hands spread over your chest. He weighed your breasts in his palms as his thumbs lightly grazed your nipples. You moaned softly, leaning into him. His lips touched your ear, kissing his way down your neck and shoulder.

“Lay back sweet girl.” 

You did so, gazing up at him as he stood at the end of the bed. He gathered some more lotion, rubbing into your feet. You groaned in delight when he massaged your aching soles. The sensation made you melt.

You felt his lips on the sensitive skin on your foot, gently kissing your heel, and each of your toes. He gave the other foot the same attention. His fingers creeped up your legs till he was squeezing your thighs. 

Your legs spread instinctively, presenting your core to him. His eyes became half lidded as a pleased growl tumbled from his lips.

“So beautiful. Every inch of you, darling. There’s not a part of you I don’t love.” He tugged you up on the bed, lowering himself down on his stomach between your legs.

Your breath shook when you felt his mouth against the inside of your thighs. He peppered kisses along your skin as he lifted his hands. You gasped as his fingers bumped your clit. 

“Please, Daddy.” You needed more, squirming in front of him as he teased you.

“Shh, baby girl. Daddys got you. You don’t have to beg. I’m gonna taste this perfect cunt either way.” His breath hit your center as he leaned closer, covering your slit with his mouth as soon as he ended his sentence.

His tongue was hot as it weaved between your lips, seeking out the bundle of nerves hiding. His wet appendage swirled the bead once, twice, before he puckered his lips around it. Henry suckled gently, his large hands holding your thighs apart.

You arched your back and moaned, the stimulation making your gut tighten. You reached down to hold onto his hair, tugging lightly when he gave your clit another suck. You couldn’t help it

He didn’t seem to mind in the slightest, moaning against your flower as you held onto his curls. He gazed up at you, admiring the look of pleasure on your face. His tongue explored further down, dipping into your leaking hole

You bucked against his mouth, panting as your heart started to thud quickly. Incoherent groans left your mouth as you wiggled on the bed. He held you in place, snarling as he increased the pace of his tongue and lips. You tensed.

He pulled the orgasm from you with skill, your body rolling. Moans of wanton pleasure escaped you, falling apart from his lips. Your skin didn’t stop tingling until he finally pulled away.   

You panted and opened your eyes when his mouth disappeared. His lips and chin were shiny, his smirk large as you got bashful at the sight of him.

“Mmm, you taste delicious. As always. Wish I could eat you all day.” He growled, one of his hands going back to your pussy. Your jaw dropped open as he traced your puffy slit.

You inhaled as he sunk a finger into you, your hole closed around it eagerly as you clenched down. He moaned under his breath, his gaze attached to the way your body swallowed his digit inside. 

“So tight, baby girl. It feels so nice to just relax and let Daddy make you feel good, doesn’t it? I love seeing you squirm. I want you to cum again. Can you do that for Daddy, beautiful?”  

You nodded quickly. He added a second finger, almost like he knew you needed it. You concentrated on the feeling of his fingertips rubbing against your convulsing walls. He found your special spot with no problem, growling when you let out a cry.

“There you go, good girl.” He grunted, shaking his fingers inside you. You squealed, and Henry moaned at the sound. “Cum for me, princess. Cum for daddy.”

He toyed with your g-spot, his lips finding your nub again. The sensations all blended together, and soon you lost yourself in another orgasm. You sobbed, gripping his head between your thighs and you arched off the bed.

He gulped down all that you gave, rutting his fingers into you to pull you through the tendrils of euphoria. Your body relaxed as your orgasm subsided. He finally pulled away with one last lingering lick of your cunt.

“Are you still with me, gorgeous?” He chuckled when you hummed and nodded lazily. “Did you decide on a movie to watch?”

You pouted silently as you glanced down at his groin. He was obviously aroused, yet wasn’t expecting you to return the favor. You wanted to take care of him. Your hand rested on his thigh. He chuckled, lifting your hand to kiss it. 

“That’s nothing for you to worry about right now, darling. You need to rest. Now, have you decided on a movie?” He questioned you again.

“Lilo and Stitch.” You murmured as he stood up, your gaze following him.

“Lilo and Stitch it is then.” He grinned leaning over you to peck your lips. You could taste a hint of your own essence on his tongue.

Henry dressed you in the warm pajamas he picked out of you beforehand. You sighed in content, smiling up at him as he switched on the movie. He smiled back at you, scooting onto the bed and pulling you close. You snuggled him, your face in his chest.

“I love you, Darling. Don’t ever forget that. No matter how bad your thoughts might get, I want you to remember how much I love you. You mean everything to me.” His voice vibrated in his chest, and you lifted your head to fixate on him.

“I love you, Henry. You’re my everything. I don’t think I could live without you.” You whispered, your eyes locked.

“Good thing you won’t have to. You’re stuck with me, I’m afraid.” He smiled, kissing you with a pleasant hum. You giggled.

“Now let’s watch ‘Lilo and Stitch’. Who’s the little blue guy again?”

******

A/N: Slowly chipping away at my inbox. Thank you for your patience as I slowly complete your requests. I apologize to anyone who has been waiting for months. Some things in my personal life have affected my mental health negatively, and I haven't been writing as much. Recently I've been easing my way back into writing, and I want to start being more active on here. I love you all, I feel like I don't tell you that enough. I’m sorry when I go MIA 😭❤️

Taglist: @sunshine-with-daisy @leigh70 @islacharlotte @lysarria @kebabgirl67 @pandaxnienke @identity2212 @rach2602

#henry cavill x reader #henry cavill x y/n #henry cavill x you #henry cavill fanfic #henry cavill smut #RPF #henry cavill fandom #anon request #masterlist #overwhelmed

[lokiiied]

it’s time for my long awaited autistic coded jamie post. okay so…

sensory issues? check. also his lil tongue thing.

not understanding social cues & having to be told/explicitly asking how to interact with people and then learning & adapting; asking for and actually taking every piece of advice he gets from people who are important to him. that’s like. literally the base struggle with autism.

mislabelling his own behaviour as thinking he’s “being a prick” at times when he’s genuinely just expressing his thoughts/gently explaining something to people because other people have always told him that’s what he was instead of differentiating for him that he’s actually really smart and has good ideas.

sometimes he is just a prick tho.

plus there’s his trauma to factor in where he’s also afraid to share his ideas & feelings cuz of his dad.

the way he just assumed he misinterpreted everything and was sent off to man city as punishment for not doing enough about his behaviour and then never asked ted about it after he came back (even though ted really should have had a conversation with him and cleared everything up.)

how he’s remembered all these little factoids about amsterdam that he learned ten years ago and he might’ve had a little amsterdam and/or movie hyperfixation after the holiday with his mum to cope and distract himself from the traumatic memories of the previous time w his dad.

fully accepting his title of being a lil dumb/himbo. even though he also has a lot of knowledge about random things, is one of the best footballers in the league, and works really hard/wants to learn to be better. feel like this can generally be applied to all autistics (replacing football w that one thing that you’re really good at). and idk i feel like autistics invented himbos. so yeah!

also before someone tries to apply all of this to = ptsd…you can have ptsd and be autistic. not everything is a trauma response, and statistically autistic people are more likely to have trauma, anxiety, depression, & comorbidity with other disorders. it’s all very interconnected! xx

while i’m at it, roy’s autistic too!

difficulty expressing emotions and verbalising his thoughts/feelings. growling when he’s angry/non-verbal literally the most autistic shit ever.

his voice. as an autistic who has a very monotone/hard to hear/control voice i. recognise ways of speaking and i register his voice as part of his autism.

not great at communication/assuming people just know what he’s thinking.

also incredibly blunt/direct doesn’t sugarcoat things or lie when it may be socially expected to do so.

literally. his resting face. “you frowned your whole career” “no, i never smiled, that’s different.”

two autistic people trying to hug each other:

+ “well, you came at me too fast!”

anyways mostly they’re autistic cuz i’m autistic and my spidey sense says so.

#actually autistic #a lot of these are also things i do/experience so i may be projecting but #they’re literally fictional characters and it’s harmless and makes me feel validated so who fucking cares #jamie tartt #roy kent #ted lasso #royjamie #lokireactiongifs

[wandering-winchesters]

Please don’t shut me out.

Pairing: Dean Winchester x Reader Word Count: 2,607

Requested Anonymously: Could you write something using the prompt, “I know you always push people away, I just never thought you’d do it to me.” With a Dean x Reader pairing? I love your writing!! xx

Summary: The reader struggles with anxiety and depression, especially after a hunt doesn't go the way she hoped it would.

Trigger Warning: Mentions of anxiety, depression and coping mechanisms.

Note: Everyone handles anxiety & depression in different ways, I by no means think that there is a cure all. The things that I mentioned are simply things that bring me comfort. If you are struggling, please reach out.

Masterlist

—

Since I was ten years old, anxiety and depression had been my closest unwelcome friend. Although, at the time I did not know it by that name. It was the nightly stomach ache at eight o’clock sharp every night. The insomnia when my parents sent to bed at nine o’clock. My brain keeping me awake after everyone else had fallen asleep, every night. I never had many friends as a child, I kept to myself. Social anxiety not allowing me to think anyone cared enough about me to want to get to know me.

Now, as an adult, I have managed to cope with my anxiety a bit better. However, when my depression gets bad, it is still an uphill climb. A battle that I internalize as much as I can, not wanting anyone else to see the darkness within. Especially when it comes to Sam and Dean, they have enough on their plates they don’t need to worry about me on top of all of that. They don’t need to know that every hunt that I go on with them haunts me in my sleep almost every night.  The boys are an escape on their own, just being around them helps with any anxiety while I am awake. They calm me, their presence alone surrounds me with the feeling of love and protection. Not having to worry about if I am safe, when I am with them. 

I had started hunting a few years back, I was unwilling at first, dragged into it by my late father. We had run into Sam and Dean while on a witch hunt, the very same hunt that claimed my fathers life. The boys took me in after that, ignoring my refusals of their help. Insisting, that they just needed my help with one more hunt, that turned into 2, which turned into 30. Until it just became the norm. I moved into the bunker with them and took it upon myself to keep the place cleaned and stocked with food. Not something they ever asked for or expected me to do, it is just how I show my love and appreciation for the two of them. 

Today has been a difficult day, I had just gotten back from a solo hunt that I insisted on taking. Much to Sam and Dean's dismay and strong objections. However, I didn’t give them much choice, getting up early while they were still asleep and leaving in my truck. Sending them a quick text to explain where I was off to, with instructions not to worry or try to come after me. I regretted my choice, I should have brought them along. It would have made it easier to handle, made the loss a little bit easier to manage. I can still see the face of the woman I was seconds too late to save. Her eyes slowly closing, her hand gripping my arm, tears slowly running down her cheeks. I blink, bringing myself back to reality. I was parked in front of the bunker, back from the hunt. I reach up and wipe away the tears that had unknowingly fallen from my own eyes, as I was lost in my thoughts.

I open the drivers door, stepping down onto the gravel. Making quick work of grabbing my backpack and duffle from the back seat. I turn and walk towards the door, steeling myself before I walk into the bunker. Not wanting the boys to catch on to the fact that I am not doing well. I precariously balance my duffle bag on my knee as I try to unlock the door to the bunker, but instead I drop my keys.  

“Christ,” I mumble, lightly kicking my foot against the door in frustration and blowing a strand of hair out of my eyes. The door jerks open, Dean grinning at me from the other side. 

“Wow, thanks sweetheart. I knew I was great, but didn’t realize you thought I was Christ like!” He winks, reaching to take my bags from my hands. 

“I got ‘em, thanks though.” I say, rolling my eyes and pushing past him to drop my bags on the floor in front of my room. His joke, that would normally make me laugh, striking the wrong nerve. Dean still stands by the door, confusion spreading across his face. Sam glances up from his seat at the table and gives me a smile, closing the book he was reading and setting it down on the wooden surface in front of him. 

“How did the hunt go, Y/N?” Dean asks, closing the door and turning to look at me. His eyes scanning my face for any explanation for the way I had snapped at him. I sigh, and roll my shoulders out, releasing some of the tension I had been carrying between them.

“It went fine Dean, I am just tired and hungry.” I shrug, walking over to the fridge and pulling out a cold bottle of water, taking a few sips. 

“Did something happen that you need to talk about?” Sam asks, turning his attention towards Dean and myself, his eyebrows raised in concern. 

“Nope, nothing happened. Just tired.” I say, my tone growing more annoyed at having to repeat myself. I turn my back to the boys and walk towards my room, well aware of the looks that the they were giving each other. I am sure that this is not the last I will hear of this conversation. 

—

Once I got to my room and shut the door, I could feel depression creeping over me, like a storm cloud, heavy, dark and looming. I took off my jeans and t-shirt and grabbed a pair of sweats and a sweatshirt that I had stolen from Sam, it was one of the ones he had gotten while he was in college. It was warm and comforting, so I always wore it on days like today.

I turned and headed towards my bathroom, deciding a shower was the best thing to do next. I turned the water on, as hot as I could stand it and climbed in. I stood under the water at first, working my fingers through the knots in my hair that had occured over the last few days of stressful hunting. I finished washing my hair within the first few minutes of the shower, but didn't get out. I slid down onto the tile and let my head rest against the wall. I embraced the emptiness I felt, letting the hot water overwhelm my senses. I lost track of time, only getting out of the shower when the water started to turn cold. I shut it off and grabbed my towel to dry off. I ran a brush through my hair before dressing myself in the clothes that I had brought in with me.

I walked out of the bathroom and surveyed my room, messy and cluttered, but mine. I flicked the light off and shuffled across the room before flopping onto my bed, not bothering to get under the covers. 

I could hear the low tones of the boys talking in a nearby room, not enough to understand their words, but enough to know they were there. Knowing they were close by was comforting, but at this moment I just wanted to be alone. 

The familiar ache in my stomach creeps in, anxiety at its finest. The horrors of the hunt washing back over me, like a tsunami I can't outrun. I scowl, a puff of air escaping my lips as I sigh, rolling onto my side. I pick up my phone, glancing at the unread messages on the screen. 

Sam

8:07 P.M. : Hey, I don’t know if something is bothering you or not, but we're here if you need anything. Just yell.

9:45 P.M. : Dean is getting really worried, antsy even. I would at least text him back if you want to be left alone.

Dean-

8:33 P.M.: You said you were hungry, want a burger?

9:17 P.M. : You have been in the shower for over an hour, are you alive in there?

I shut off the screen, setting my phone on the table beside my bed. I close my eyes and try to sleep. However, sleep does not come. I toss and turn, the only thing I can see is her face as she takes her last breath. I can feel tears burning at the corners of my eyes, but I blink them away. Stupid. I was stupid to think I could have managed this on my own. It's all my fault that she's dead.

I am jerked from my thoughts by a knock on my door. I keep quiet, hoping that whoever it is they will go away. The knock sounds again, this time my door creaking open a couple of inches, enough for Dean to look through into my dark room. "If you don't want people to know you are ignoring them, you should turn your read receipts off. I know you are awake Y/N." I can hear the worry in his voice, his tone soft. As if he is speaking to a frightened animal, trying to reassure it that he isn't a threat.

"Go away Dean, I just want to be alone." I say, the unsteadiness in my voice way more evident than I wanted it to be. I bite my lip, hoping he won't notice how close to tears I really am.

"I knew you always push people away, I just never thought you’d do it to me." He says, stepping into my room and shutting the door behind him. It's dark, so I can hear him carefully making his way towards me. He chuckles as he trips over something on my floor, probably the jeans I had discarded earlier. He settles himself next to me on the other side of the bed, resting his back on the head board. I pull myself into a sitting position, hugging my legs to my chest and resting my chin on my knees. His weight shifts, and I can't tell what he is doing until the light on the bedside table clicks on. I protest, but am quickly silenced by the look that he gives me. I look away, hoping that he doesn't notice my red rimmed eyes.

"Now, you wanna tell me what happened? Or should I drag it out of you, like you know I will eventually." He asks, his hand coming to rest gently on my spine, tracing soft patterns on my skin.

I sit silent, except for the sniffles that I can't seem to stop. The tears starting to flow again. I sigh, before starting from the beginning. How I had left, the werewolves that I had encountered, the moment where I realized that I had fucked up. How scared I had felt, but that I didn't think I could call him, because I didn't want him to be mad at me. I pause after my last admission, taking a breath and clearing my throat.

"All of this, was bad enough. But then... Dean... I couldn't save her, she was too far gone by the time I got to her. If I had just been better, worked faster, If I hadn't hesitated because of fear then, she would still be here. It's all my fault, I-" The tears are streaming even harder now, leaving a trail, but quickly being replaced by another, a sob escapes me and I quickly try to cover it up, but he knows.

"Hey," He sighs, his hand squeezing the back of my neck to get my attention. When I don't look at him, his tactics change. He shifts his body around so he is sitting in front of me, he cups my chin in his hand tilting my face so his eyes can meet mine. "Stop that, right now. That thinking, is how we end up with another dead hunter. You are not at fault here, from what you told me, there was nothing anyone could have done by that point Y/N. You did your best, and that is something to stand behind." He gently tucks my hair behind my ear, his thumb brushing over my chin before bringing his hand back to his side.

My whole body is trembling at this point, my breathing shaky, muscles tense from trying to stop the unwanted movement making its way through my body. I look away from Dean once again, to wipe my tears on the sleeve of my shirt.

"I never wanted you to know this side of me Dean, that is why I pushed you away. I would've been fine in the morning." I mumble, barely loud enough for him to hear, I look at him once again, to find he's still staring back at me. His green eyes soft, yet concern is etched across his face. His brows pulled together in that all too familiar look of sympathy that I hate.

“Sweetheart, I’ve known this side of you since I first met you. I have it, Sam has it. Matter of fact if you didn’t have it, then I’d be concerned. You can’t do this line of work, without dealing with those things you mentioned. It’s normal, Y/N. You and Sam are the only things that get me out of bed some mornings, most mornings if I’m being honest.” He changes position again, moving back to my side, his arm snaking around my waist and pulling me into his side. I give in and lean against him, tucking my head under his chin. I relish this moment, the scent of his cologne hanging heavy in the air around me. The sound of his heartbeat and the steady rise and fall of his chest grounding me in ways I didn’t think possible. Dean holds me for awhile, not breaking the silence. I just need him to hold me and even though I never asked, he knew.

“I can sleep on the couch in here tonight, keep you company.” He offers, beginning to pull away from me. I immediately feel the lack of warmth his body was providing.

“No,” I say hurriedly, watching as confusion flashes over his features. “Can you sleep here? In bed with me?” I ask, bracing myself for his refusal. What was I thinking? Of course he wouldn’t say yes, why would he want to share a bed with me? But instead of refusal, he nods, a small smile spreading across his face. He sheds his flannel, t-shirt, and pants. Before pulling the covers back on my bed and sliding under them, laying on his side facing me.

“Hurry up and get under here, Y/N.” He says, but I don’t move fast enough for his liking. Because before I can blink, he’s pulling me towards his chest and throwing the blankets on top of me. It makes me laugh, small and short, but a laugh none the less. I can feel him smiling against my neck, his lips twitching up at the corners. I turn to face him, wrapping my arms around him in a hug that I was so unknowingly desperate for. We stay like that for quite a while, in silence. His breathing evening out, I assume he’s sleeping, so when he speaks I jump ever so slightly. His grip around me tightening.

“Promise you won’t shut me out again, sweetheart? I just want to be here for you. Just like you do for me.” He whispers, pressing the lightest kiss to my forehead. I nod, raising my chin too look up at him.

“I promise.”

A/N: Requests are open! Please send them to me. If you’d like to be added to my tag list, please let me know!

#deanwinchesterxreader #dean winchester #supernatural dean #deanwinchesterblurb #dean winchester x reader #dean winchester fic #dean winchester fluff #deanwinchesterfluff #sam and dean #sam winchester #spn #dean winchester angst #dean winchester comfort #wanderingwinchesters #supernatural #supernatural fic

[my-autism-adhd-blog]

Hi everyone,

As I said earlier, I wanted to post more about ADHD burnout. I found an article that explained it pretty well. This excerpt is going to be long, so I apologize in advance:

ADHD Burnout

What is ADHD Burnout?

It’s possible that you’ve heard of Autistic burnout; however, ADHDers have a unique experience of burnout. Symptoms of ADHD burnout more broadly include:

Lack of motivation

Inability to concentrate

Guilt

Depression

Anxiety

Poor productivity

Irritability

Cynicism

The overlap of symptoms and comorbid conditions can make it difficult to identify when ADHDers are truly struggling with burnout, though.

ADHD burnout is often something a little deeper. It refers to the cycle of overcommitting and overextending that leads to fatigue in people with ADHD. It involves taking on too many tasks and commitments, and then the subsequent exhaustion that happens when we’re unable to fulfill all of our obligations.

Why do people with ADHD struggle with burnout?

1. We’re overcompensating and overcommitting

Growing up, many ADHDers experienced the crushing weight of expectation. Whether it was caregivers or educators, we were often told that we weren’t trying hard enough. It felt like we were always just shy of reaching our full potential.

In actuality, we were being asked to function like neurotypical children, and without adequate support for our ADHD brains and executive dysfunction struggles. This is where many of us internalized the idea that we were lazy, careless, or unintelligent.

These false beliefs can lead to overcompensation, in which we compulsively try to please people and make up for these “shortcomings” we think we have. We’re constantly striving, though the goal posts keep moving on us.

This tendency to people-please can be carried into our adulthood, and is a recipe for overexertion. It also makes it difficult to admit that we’re struggling, because we don’t want to let others down. This relentless effort to appear neurotypical is often referred to as “ADHD masking,” and can be a source of real fatigue for people with ADHD.

2. We feel guilty for resting

When we’re already combating a stereotype of laziness, many of us feel guilty about resting. It can feel easier to be in constant motion (whether we experience hyperactivity or not!) because it feels safer to be doing something than risk the judgment that can come with doing “nothing.”

We might even believe that if we were to allow ourselves to rest, we would never get anything done, because we would struggle to get started again (task initiation is a big struggle for us). The irony is that denying yourself rest is the quickest route to exhaustion, and can exacerbate ADHD symptoms. It can be hard to pump the brakes and practice rest when there are so many negative associations with it.

After a lifetime of being told to “try harder,” it can feel counterintuitive—sometimes impossible—to try less and rest more

3. We struggle to recognize our limits and set boundaries

Part of executive dysfunction means that we have trouble sequencing, initiating, and organizing our tasks — which are all symptoms of ADHD. This also means we struggle to estimate how much time and effort something will take, making it easy to overcommit by accident. We may also struggle with setting boundaries.

As people-pleasers, we were discouraged from having boundaries at a young age. We may struggle to say “no” for fear of disappointing others or being rejected (something we’re already sensitive to anyway; this is known as rejection sensitive dysphoria).

As we accumulate more and more tasks, it can begin to feel unmanageable, leading to the dreaded overwhelm-shutdown. This is a freeze response that can happen when we’re unable to begin or complete a task. This “stuck” feeling can exacerbate our anxiety and make it difficult to move forward.

How to avoid ADHD burnout:

There are some golden rules for preventing burnout that I think are crucial for ADHDers to remember. Here are a few:

1. Affirm your self-worth

Your worth is not dependent upon what you give to people, and your sole purpose in life isn’t to make everyone but yourself happy. As the saying goes, “Don’t set yourself on fire to keep others warm.” You are inherently valuable, regardless of how useful, productive, or helpful you are to others.

2. Practice saying “no” without apologizing

You can’t be everything to everyone, and your capacity is not limitless, no matter what your brain tells you. Give yourself full permission to say “no, I can’t,” “I don’t have time for that,” “I’m not available at that time,” and every other variation on that. You may disappoint someone, sure!

But you aren’t responsible for managing other people’s emotions.

3. Overestimate how much time something will take

This is a general rule that I find quite helpful. Take the amount of time you think something will take—and double it. It may feel absurd at first, but it’s better to overestimate than to underestimate, and this will help you get a stronger sense of your limitations.

4. Commit to rest

Notice I’m saying “commit to rest” and not “practice self-care.”

Some of us (certainly not me…) have turned self-care into another set of expectations we feel the need to fulfill. Let that go.

Instead, practice: laying down, daydreaming, deep breathing, and anything else that helps you reset.

5. Ask for help when you need it

It’s okay to struggle, and it’s okay to ask for support when you do struggle—whether that's therapy, your colleagues, an ADHD coach or a manager at work.

Workplace accommodations and school accommodations can also make a huge difference.

6. Drop the mask

Many neurodiverse individuals try to mask their ADHD and/or autism by not letting others see them sweat—but this doesn’t allow us the opportunity to be helped and supported when we need it most.

You deserve every resource you need to thrive—don’t convince yourself that you have to do this thing alone.

As always, the full article will be below if anyone wants to read it.

#adhd #adhd post #adhd burnout #what is adhd burnout #struggling with adhd burnout #ways to prevent adhd burnout #feel free to reblog #tw bright colors #tw eye strain

[earthry]

Papas and a Reader with Depression (Headcanons)

The Papas and if they had a beloved struggling with depression. Sending love to all my readers, take care.

sfw, tw depression, hurt/comfort, self indulgent, disclaimer this is all based on my own experience with my depression and anxiety— other experiences may be different.

Primo

When you have trouble getting out of bed, he'll leave some calming tea by your bedside table. Sometimes it's lavender, sometimes its chamomile. He'll wait for you to tell him what you need, not wanting to overwhelm or crowd you.

If you want alone time, he’ll leave with a soft kiss to your forehead and a reminder that he’s there for you if you need him. You can always change your mind and ask for his comfort and company later if you'd like. Or if you just need a whole day or two or more to decompress, to recharge, he'll leave you to your own devices with the exception of checking in every so often to leave another cup of tea or to offer you a snack.

If you don't want to be alone, he'll stay by your side and hold you. Let you lay against his chest with your head tucked into his shoulder as you ramble or vent. If you need to cry, he'll encourage you not to bottle it up.

He’ll make sure you’re showered, especially if it’s been a few days. He’ll remind you that it’s important to take care of your own body but will never fault you for not having the energy. Even if you’ve worn the same clothes for days or weeks— he’d never judge you for it.

Secondo

At first he didn’t quite know what to do besides hold you when you were sad and let you be when you told him to leave you alone. Now however, he knows when you tell him to leave you alone or that you’re okay, what you really need is a hug and a reminder that it’s okay to be upset and have feelings. It’s okay to be down. He’ll let you cry for however long you need and will fetch a box of tissues and a glass of water to make sure you’re hydrated.

Sometimes when you’re all cried out you don’t necessary feel immediately better. Sometimes it’s a relief to let it out but that feeling of hopelessness doesn’t fade completely. You’re left tired and drained and that’s when Secondo will carry you to bed and turn your favorite comfort show or movie on.

He’ll turn the lights off so it’s just the light of the TV filling the room and turn the sound on low so you don’t feel overstimulated. He’ll let you lay against his chest and comfortingly rub your back as you take time to recharge.

Whether it be scrolling on your phone for comfort and/or distraction or hugging a stuffie to your chest as you half doze and half watch your show, he’ll sit in comfortable silence with you until you’re okay again or until you fall asleep (although he usually follows soon after).

Terzo

Everything feels overwhelming and helpless— it feels like things will never get better and never change no matter what you do. You try to explain this to Terzo, hiccuping through soft sobs as he gathers you into his arms. He understands, and he’ll listen to you as long as you need. He may be very dramatic and flirty at times but when it comes to you he never plays around. He always validates your feelings and makes you feel seen and not alone.

Understands that when you’re having a rough time or you are anxious or stressed, you often lose your appetite or have trouble eating. In this case, he will always have your favorite comfort foods at the ready, or the ingredients to make them— he’ll never say no if you ask him to make a comfort food when you’re struggling. Each time he serves you, there will be a little sticky note with hearts and affirmations on the tray.

Copia

Gives the best hugs and will always sit down and hold your hand and let you tell him what’s wrong. Sometimes there’s nothing inherently wrong; or nothing that can be fixed, and in those times distractions from all the bad things in your head is sometimes the best answer and Copia excels at it.

He’ll invite you to play video games or watch sappy romcoms or bad horror movies or comedy action films (whichever one is more your style/preference). Sometimes he’ll let you play with his rats or help him clean or organize their cage to keep you busy. Or he’ll let you tag along as he runs errands around the Ministry— even if you don’t talk the entire time or engage in conversation.

Sometimes you have trouble sleeping at night, unable to keep your head from thinking a billion different things at once. On these nights, Copia will hold you tucked against him. Sometimes he’ll talk to you in quiet tones, other times he’ll softly sing until you drift off. Even if it means singing the same song a hundred times, if it soothes you and makes you feel better, he’ll sing it a hundred times and a hundred times more after that.

Keeps comfort snacks and drinks around for you, next to his own comfort snacks. Keeps a basket in his room full of fidget toys and always encourages you to take one if you need, especially when you are talking about a tough subject or feeling emotional.

#the band ghost #copia #terzo #secondo #ghost band #ghost bc #primo #papa emeritus iv #cardinal copia #cardinal copia x reader #papa emeritus iii x female reader #papa emeritus i #papa emeritus ii #papa emeritus iii #papa emeritus i x reader #papa emeritus ii x reader #papa emeritus iii x reader #papa emeritus iv x female reader #papa emeritus iv x reader #headcanons

[lovealexhunt]

September is Suicide Prevention Month

Suicide is the most preventable form of death and yet the number of suicide victims rises each year despite increased awareness.

Why is that?

I can't answer it for everyone, but from what I've seen in my life, although people are aware, they don't understand.

I am a suicide surviver. Although I have not attempted suicide in over a decade, the thoughts linger from time to time. Sometimes it's just an intrusive thought that I can let go of. Sometimes it's a lot more and it is a lot more dangerous, but I am trying every day and that is all I can ask of anyone.

I am grateful to have found support here/online. However, people in my own life continue to belittle and invalidate my feelings. That makes me feel isolated, alone, and like there's something wrong with me. It makes me feel like I have no value.

I imagine it's hard to understand what goes through a person's head when they're suicidal if you've never felt that way. It's hard to validate someone's emotions when you (as an outsider) can rationalize them. But the problem with that is, those people don't know and they can't understand how those thoughts actually feel.

I am a very logical and rational person most of the time. However, when my depression is bad, I can't think rationally. The dark thoughts are consuming and I believe them. I know it's the depression talking. I know it's my anxiety talking. I know it's the past trauma I suffered haunting me. And yet, I still can't control those thoughts.

Those people who have never felt that way, think that rationalizing things, sharing comparing stories, or reminding you your life is good will help, but it doesn't. Not in those moments. That's what people who don't suffer have to understand.

I can try to explain that. I can raise awareness. I can shout from the rooftops trying to get people to understand. But the fact is, I can't make anyone change their thinking if they don't want to.

Suicide is a tragedy.

However, being suicidal is seen an inconvenience or a a way of "seeking attention." It is dismissed.

The same people who will cry over a friend's suicide, and wonder how they didn't see it are the same people who will tell the next person to "get over it", "your life's not that bad", "when I was in your situation..." They either don't see it or they don't care enough and that is the problem.

Suicide is preventable, but not without support. Support requires people that are not suicidal to better educate themselves beyond awareness to understanding and how to help.

You would never tell a cancer patient they're being dramatic and looking for attention when they share their struggles. You would never tell someone having a heart attack to "get over it." You would never belittle a mother who suffered a miscarriage by comparing them to someone else.

So why do that to someone suffering with mental health struggles?

Yes, there the stigma surrounding mental health and medication is improving, but we have a long way to go. That starts today and every day after.

Raising awareness is fine, but raising understanding is necessary meaningful change.

#suicide #tw:suicide #suicide awareness #suicide prevention #suicide prevention month #suicide awareness month #mental health #mental health matters #self care #lovealexhunt #about #get help #mental health support

[paris-geller-was-straightwashed]

'that adhd feel of-' 'adhd is not being able to' 'adhd is when you forget-' you're describing executive dysfunction. that's...it's executive dysfunction. like I NEED you to understand this.

I don't think this is purposefully malicious but jesus fucking christ it's no wonder the ~neurodiverse~ community on here can feel super alienating. I'd fucking eat own shoe if any so-called 'neurospicy' (derogatory) blogs can name EVEN ONE other condition then either adhd or autism as part of neurodiversity. ppl think it starts and ends there - and what I find the most infuriating, is that one of the most common symptoms when it comes to diverse brains (aka executive dysfunction) is talked about like it's SOLELY for adhd.

look. I got dyspraxia and ocd - two things considered a part of the neurodiverse umbrella. I also have learning disabilities that have affected my whole school life, and memory issues that I've been explaining to people as to why I've already forgotten their name since I was a kid. YET, ocd is rarely talked about in neurodiverse circles or even considered, and I'll literally pay two bucks to anyone reading this who can tell me what dyspraxia is (who isn't a professional or someone who has it, and if you do have dyspraxia, then I am giving you a cookie and fist bump). yet often, when I see posts passed around talking about issues like poor motivation or time blindness or bad memory, I find a lot to relate to - bc executive dysfunction, in case anyone missed it, affects many, many conditions! you don't even have to be neurodiverse; it's known to affect those with anxiety and depression too! there's so much layover - yet, I will see, inevitably, the post attributed to adhd or possibly asd. frankly, it's both alienating to those with other neurodiverse conditions, and possibly misleading, even if unintentional, to say it's an 'adhd thing.' you guys run the market and it's over-saturated; I'm just asking for adhd/asd to share a piece of it's throne.

to be honest, as what's considered a 'neurodiverse person', I barely find any commonality within the community. yes, as mentioned above, I will relate to common shared symptoms like executive dysfunction, but it's a complete shut-out when we act like those symptoms are only attributed to one condition. frankly with my ocd, I find way more commonality in schizophrenia/paranoia/psychosis communities then in the ND one (I would never act or say I know what it's like to experience those conditions, but I can relate to the fear of some outside force telling you something horrible is going to/will happen), and with dyspraxia, even when we talk about it, it gets so little coverage and recognition it leaves the whole community a bit dry. if anyone gives a shit, then maybe shine the light on us and others kicked to the sides (ppl with learning disabilities, dysgraphia, language disorders, and those with schizophrenia/affective disorders like I mentioned earlier, who are so often vilified by ppl online and on this site). we all struggle with executive dysfunction and a million other layover symptoms, and the nerotypical world is just as hard for us to navigate even if no one is bothering to listen.

I'm rambling at this point. everyone just..do better and actually recognize the 'diversity' in 'neurodiverse.'

#neurodivergent #actually ocd #dyspraxia #actually neurodiverse #actually dyspraxic #actually ld #executive dysfunction

[yannaryartside]

In defense of the "I am sorry" sign

images by @drrav3nb

Been thinking about how I think their relationship got closed not despite the sign but because of it.

The "I'm sorry sign" is introduced by Carmy as a method of de-escalation of conflict in the middle of service, something that will allow the people involved to talk about the issues later. The issues are hurt feelings, unclear expectations, miscommunications, and other stuff that can happen when everybody is anxious and trying to go through service by the skin of their teeth. In the season finale, we actually see them use it in this context, but most of the season we feel they used it for things that they actually should be talking about, not just leaving for later.

The "later" part never comes. Across season 2, they used the sign to avoid discussing things they felt scared/guilty about. But, being fair, neither Carmy nor Sydney were ready to discuss what was coming between them. Carmy has depression, anxiety, and abandonment issues that he cannot even process, on top of a relationship that doesn't make him feel completely good, even if he doesn't know why because everything is so great. Sydney is jealous; we don't know if she has processed her feelings for Carmy yet. But she also was counting on him to guide her through this process, and she feels that if she fails, it will be on her, not his lack of leadership, or, yk, that she has never done anything remotely as difficult before. She is drowning in fear, and she wants some sort of support.

STOP Syd and Carmy were explosive/confrontative in expressing their frustration; Sydney is mostly implosive; she deals with her frustration in private, and it takes a lot to make her explode as the others do. She primarily deals with Carmy with bitter questions and sarcastic treatment (she is better than me), and Carmy responds with exasperated attempts to explain himself; he gets defensive the way we know he is used to defending herself in his family (fishes).

But the 'sorry sign' is actually something that they use to stop the escalation of their (personal) conflict. I think the moment they use it in "Bolognese" is a perfect example. They both use the "I am tired" explanation, which is kinda true, but they are not going to the "core" of the issue. But, if anything, they knew they were hurting each other by raising their voices and assigning blame, and they decided they didn't want to hurt each other in any way.

They applied the sorry sign to move to harmony, even with shaky bases. Is a noble intent. It is kind of amazing that by the end of this conversation the conflict is kind of left behind, and they can laught at stupid jokes again. They can be each other again, they can be what they are with each other, even if the pain/hurt is somewhat still there. After all, they are bussines partners only.

What I want to say, is that they could have easily antagonized each other this season and decided not too. I know it doesn't seem as much, but many couples struggle with this; they can take a "are you vs. me" attitude. Carmy and Sydney pause and decide to recognize the other's point of view and needs, and they set up expectations for the future. Mainly, Sydney is clear about the behaviors she will not tolerate, and Carmy expresses his intentions of not disappointing her and how important she and their relationship is to him. Idk if I am explaining it well; I like the fact that they prioritize their partnership, even if they don't know the true nature of it yet. Carmy has a lot of fault on this because, again, it feels like she is covering for him in many ways, but still, the intent is noble; there is love behind it.

#I just think that in this part of their relasionship #they were kind mature and healthy #at least they were not intentionally hurting each other #sydney adamu #the bear #the bear fx #carmy berzatto #sydney x carmy #carmy the bear #carmen berzatto #the bear meta #carmy x sydney #sydcarmy

[sunflower-lilac42]

✧ 𝐅𝐥𝐨𝐰𝐞𝐫𝐬 || 𝘷𝘪𝘰𝘭𝘦𝘵'𝘴 𝘮𝘦𝘯𝘵𝘢𝘭 𝘩𝘦𝘢𝘭𝘵𝘩 ♔

violet's mental health journey

note: let me know if i should make one with connor and how he handles/helps her mental health

!*! trigger warnings ~ sh, depression, anxiety !*!

➺ no one really noticed her struggles at first

➺ her teacher was the one to notify her parents which was confusing for them because they never noticed anything

➺ when they were notified they ended up talking to her and violet broke down

➺ she begged for them not to tell her brothers yet

➺ she was diagnosed with anxiety and depression when she was 11

➺ they didn't tell luca and adam until the following year

➺ she did try to, you know, when she was 12

➺ that was the reason they told adam and luca bc they didn't really know how to explain to them why she was going to the hospital

➺ they also wanted them to know just in case she started showing signs again so they could help

➺ luca and adam became more protective after that

➺ they started being wary of every friend she made or if she ever got a boyfriend

➺ she started going to therapy and it really helped

➺ they came to the conclusion that it was because she always felt like she was in adam and luca's shadow and she felt like she was stuck there

➺ thats why she started making youtube videos and found her own place and thing that she was good at

➺ her stress grew because she threw herself into all these things to try and distract her from that memory

➺ she never told anyone but her therapist about those feelings as she didn't want them to be hurt by them

➺ she hates talking about her feelings because she thinks every time she does people pitty her

➺ no one but her family and close friends (mark and luke and the rest of the hughes family) know about it

𝑻𝑨𝑮𝑳𝑰𝑺𝑻 ˏˋ°•*⁀➷

if your name is crossed out it means i couldn't tag you

@ivy-34 | @itsnotgray | @daisysnhl | @love4ldr

#sunnylune #sunny lune #sunny lune writes #sunnyluneflowers #connor bedard #connor bedard x fantilli!sister #connor bedard x reader #connor bedard x fantilli!reader #adam fantilli #adam fantilli x reader #adam fantilli x sister!reader #luca fantilli x reader #luca fantilli #luca fantilli x sister!reader #cb98

[deatmat]

Ace therapy is something incredibly interesting. I just saw a post about how in therapy asexuality is still treated like an illness and how hard it is to find a therapist who won’t try to convert you. (I was going to put this in the reblogs but then my phone did a whacky thing and made it disappear)

I wanted to share that there’s another issue with therapy and asexuality: people trying to use therapy to ‘fix’ friends/family.

When I was 13 I started to see a therapist for anxiety and depression. I was so terrified that I forced my mother to attend the first session with me. We sat down with Dr. A and started discussing what I wanted to explore over my time with her. As I finished my bit about why I was here, my mom decided to tack on one last thing.

“We also struggle a lot with her sexuality.”

I looked at my mother in shock because while, yes my parents do struggle to accept it and that does play a role in my life that I’d like to talk about, it was not what I’d expected to hear. Dr. A asked her what she meant as I stiffened in the shoulders and started to dread what she’d say.

“Well just that she’s asexual, and a little confused, and maybe you can help her through that.”

This may seem like it could be harmless - maybe she meant it as in genuinely wanting someone to support me through a difficult transition. But, knowing my mother, she was waiting for a professional to validate her in her opinion that I was “confused” and “too young” and “just waiting for the right person/for my hormones to kick in.”

Thankfully, Dr. A seemed to sense I was uncomfortable and shuffled along the conversation. When we had our next session without my mom, she asked me if I wanted to talk about asexuality or if my mother just wanted to, and when I explained it wasn’t a huge issue in my life, she accepted that and moved on. Asexuality was only ever mentioned from there on when I was talking about the stress of other peoples reactions to it, in which it was immediately treated respectfully. Though my mother still asked after most sessions if asexuality had been brought up.

I was lucky to have a good therapist, someone who welcomed all variations of queer people without hesitation. If I had been without her, this would be a very different conversation about ace therapy.

The LGBTQIA community says asexuals don’t face discrimination but we’re still so unsafe in medical settings. Most of us know we can never mention being ace to our therapists or our treatments would begin to focusing on increasing our sex drives which don’t have anything wrong with them in the first place. It’s sick and wrong that people are using the system to their advantage and trying to snuff out our identities. Please stay safe out there my ace pals.

#acespec #asexual #asexuality #therapy #ace therapy #discrimination #conversion #ace awareness week #ace pride #aspec #story time #personal experience #queer #lgbtq community #lgbtqia #a is for ace/aro btw #we belong here too #we are still not accepted in this world

[forgiveness-in-the-misery]

Xander is genuinely an interesting character. It’s complicated because a lot of people now just see him as aged poorly or Joss 2.0 and completely ignore the actual show itself and why he is the way he is.

Between the books, not the comics, the actual books and the TV show you come to learn incredibly important things:

Xander had a goth phase for a while that is brought up in the books.

Xander struggles with depression and loneliness.

Xander’s bedroom was in the basement as far removed as a kid could get from their parents.

Xander’s parents fight frequently and violently.

Xander’s father is a cruel drunk who treats his son like an abomination.

All of the above literally explain why Xander is the way that he is….and current fans blatantly ignore and avoid that and it is mind boggling to me.

He wants to joke constantly and make awkward comments and jokes especially if he’s anxious or scared or uncomfortable. He seemingly doubts people aside from Willow could ever like him for himself so he settles for the role of being the clown. He wants to be seen and understood and loved and when Anya eventually offers him this he panics due to the fear that he will turn into an abusive monster like his father and ruin her. Xander ruined his relationship with Cordelia for essentially the same reason, the fear of ruining things, of dragging her into his family and this life that would result in depression and resentment for her. He cheated on her with Willow because Willow is the only person who knows him and knows his family situation and she is safe and comfortable and familiar and kissing her knowing she has loved him most her life at that point was manipulative and misdirected and wrong on his part…..but look at his home life.

The boy never saw what a relationship is meant to be. His parents were hateful and resentful. He didn’t grow up seeing love and he has a deep fear that maybe he can’t actually love somebody.

Even his relationship to Buffy feels like deep down she is who he wants to be more than wants to be with. She’s brave and strong and witty and smart and resourceful and can easily come across like she doesn’t have time to care what people think of her.

And because of the toxic masculinity of the 90s and the shit his own father tried to beat into him about being a real man….he resents that. He feels humiliated and resentful that this girl is everything he’s been told he should be. It’s why he gets so up in arms about Buffy breaking it off with Riley, because Riley is the type of man Xander grew up being told is a real man and he idolizes that.

Spike and Angel don’t fall into this role. Spike ironically enough like Xander we learn was soft and gentle and loved poetry and kind things and was mocked and teased by people for being the way that he was. Spike became a vampire and became blood thirsty but even seeing him with Dru through the centuries the gentle lover never died with his humanity, it comes out more and more as the show progresses and frankly it comes down to vampires have no need to care.

Once you have lived hundreds of years and may live hundreds more then the concept of gender norms and sexuality come to be meaningless human concepts.

Xander is this sort of tragic character who is trapped under so much fear and anxiety and grew up in a time when the worst things you could be is a woman or gay and he wanted badly to be masculine to be a hero to be brave and manly and all of that and it frequently ended up with him distancing from his friends, losing women who did love him and tried to understand him but he never let them close enough.

So anyway I really wish people would look at story more than 2023 social norms in a show made back in the 90s/2000s and also I wish the show had made Xander gay.

#buffy the vampire slayer

[thetriplets3]

"Your lover isn't feeling well, and even though it's probably dangerous to drive this late at night, you have to make sure they're all right."with Chris strniolo please??

I made it about just a bad day I hope that’s okay, I can redo it if you want anon! Also please read the note at the end!! Thank you for all your requests

warnings: anxiety, depression, overall a bad day mentally, brief mention of a mother daughter relationship (please let me know if I missed anything so I can update this)

☎️ One call away ☎️

It’s hard to tell what exactly made me feel this way, it’s just one of those days. I’ve struggled with mental health problems for years and it’s been getting better but some days feel like I’m back to where I was before. That’s what healing is, some good days some bad, the good outweigh the bad. It’s just frustrating to make progress and then feel like you’re starting from the beginning again.

I spent almost every hour tossing and turning last night unable to fall asleep or stay asleep for long. Despite this I have yet to get out of bed and it’s 3pm. I haven’t been able to do anything except mindlessly scrolling through tiktok not even paying attention to them, in my own little world that I desperately want out of. My phone vibrates, snapping me out of my trance to see a text from my boyfriend Chris.

Hey pretty girl haven’t heard from you all day. Everything alright?

I stare at his text for a while trying to find the right words to make everything sound like I’m fine. Sighing I drop my phone on my bed and head to the kitchen grabbing a snack before making my way back to my bed. Finishing off my snack, I curl up under the fuzzy blanket Chris got me for my birthday. He was here the other night, it smells just like his cologne. I lie there, basking in the smell that lingers bringing me comfort. I want him here, I need him here but I just can’t get myself to put this on him. He has so much on his plate already I don’t want him to worry about me, I’ll be fine this feeling will go away, until it inevitably comes back. A never ending cycle, it’s exhausting.

Apparently it’s been over an hour because I get another text from Chris.

Sweetheart is everything okay? What’s going on? I’m here talk to me.

Realizing I never replied to his first text I grab my phone and send a text back.

Hi love sorry for ignoring you. I’m fine I’m just not feeling it today. I love you and I miss you.

Almost immediately I get a text back which makes me smile at his concern.

What can I do to help? Do you want space or do you want me to come over because you know I’ll drop everything for you no matter how late it is.

My heart swells at how sweet he is.

You being here would make things better.

Within 10 minutes he’s knocking on my bedroom door, having let himself in to my house. Hearing me hum as a response he quietly makes his way to my bed, crawling in next to me.

“Hi sweet girl, I’m here now it’s okay” he said softly.

Quickly I scoot over into his arms, just wanting to be held by him. Closing my eyes I sigh trying to release the weight of the day. With his arms securely wrapped around my body, I feel safe. With a shaky breath I start trying to explain what’s going on.

“I don’t know what brought this on but I hate it I feel so helpless and lazy. I didn’t have it in me to even brush my hair it’s such a simple task and I couldn’t do it” I sputter out in tears.

“Don’t say that you know it’s not true that’s just what your mind is telling you and your mind is being silly today. Think of it this way it’s your body’s way of telling you to just relax and slow down and to take time for yourself. It happens, and yeah it sucks but tomorrow is a new day and a chance to try again” he reassures me. “Give me one second I’ll be right back”.

Rolling out from his grasp I lie there waiting for his return. Getting back in bed he hides what he went to go get behind his back and opened his arms for me. Reaching over to my nightstand he grabs my remote and opens netflix selecting my comfort show, making me smile.

With my head on his chest and my tired eyes fixated on the tv, I feel him move as much of my hair as he can to my back. Slowly and gently he brushes through my knotted hair starting at my ends. The repeated motion of the brush against my scalp has always been something I loved. It reminds me of being a kid and sitting on my mom’s counter as she did my hair for the day. It’s always been a comforting feeling to me and Chris knows this.

My eyes grow heavy as I struggle to keep them open. “Go to sleep love I’m not leaving. I love you so much I hope you know how proud I am of you, you’re so strong” is the last thing I hear before succumbing to a much needed sleep.

taglist:

@iluvmatt @antisocialties @dwntwn-strnlo @fake-coolbeans

AUTHORS NOTES:

#sturniolo triplets #chris sturniolo #chris sturniolo x reader #readers pov

[v3nusxsky]

I can’t lose you

*Authors note~ absolutely loving these prompts you guys are requesting. Loving conversing with all and learning more about how my writing is helping you all. It's my own therapy so I'm just glad it can at least bring joy to someone else. Read on my doves*

Tw~ self harm,Depression, Anxiety, trauma response

Prompt< prompt 1 (please talk to me) and prompt 72 (she's at the hospital. I don't know what happened) requested by the lovely idkaname666666 wattpad

It was bad again. You knew that. You should be happy now you know that too, but this dark cloud won't go away. You may get a small break in the clouded cover but it will always remain. Some days it would be light and opaque others it would be dark and thick. Today was the dark clouds. Thankfully you'd managed to survive your classes today, only now it was hitting you like a train. Which is how you were now curled up in front of the fire, skin exposed just numb. The scaring old and new littered your arms all in the different stages of healing. It seemed as if you were running out of skin that hadn't been marked by your own hand. Not only was it your arms , no it was your thighs and stomach too. Years of struggling tattooed on your body in a painful reminder. The dark days always with you.

Tears flowing freely yet no sound escaping you, your hands shook looking at what you had done. You really didn't mean to do so much. It was only meant to be just one. You always told yourself it was just one. But one turns into two and two into four. A never ending pattern. Even when you tried to stop, your body craves it. The stinging sensations present, reminding you of your subconscious need. Craving release that only could be sought from that action.

It's only the knock at your door that snaps you from your own thoughts. Fuck! How could you hide this? Who would be looking for you now? The school day ended over three hours ago. "Just one moment" you called out in a shaky voice quickly covering all your exposed skin. With a quick once over in the mirror and a wipe of any stray tears that still remained. You quickly opened the door just a crack and peaked through the gap. "L-la-Rissa?" You stuttered. She was the last person you thought would be looking for you. "May I?" She gestured to the door with her hand and you nodded moving aside numbly letting her in. You quickly shut the door and led her to sit in front of the dancing flames once more.

"Darling, I've noticed recently you seem a little low recently" you could tell by the worried glint in her eyes. "I'm fine Larissa" you mumbled looking anywhere but her eyes. "Y/n ? Please talk to me. I know something is wrong, even your students do darling." Tears clouded your eyes, your students knew? How? God you thought you'd done so well with hiding this. Apparently not tho.

Maybe it was a good thing that this happened, after all you finally got the chance to open up. Larissa was lovely. She sat and listened as you explained just what was happening. Held you as you cried. Her hands stroking through your hair, soothing words cocooning around you. Maybe just maybe you could see some light breaking through the cloud. Exhausted from your bad day you started to drift off in the taller women's strong embrace. Feeling safe and content for the first time in a long time.  You were gently carried to your room and placed into your bed which caused you to stir slightly at the movement. A whimper escaping your exhausted body when you lost the physical contact. "Hush my darling you're okay go back to sleep, just rest." She hummed out and you could've sworn you felt her lips ghosting your forehead. But maybe you imagined it in your exhausted state.

That was a few nights ago. And you'd had some good days following it. The good feelings lingering from the principals comforting actions. She hadn't mentioned it to you since that night, lingering gazes and gentle brushes of her hand against you as she passed you in the halls but no awkwardness at all. Something in her gaze had changed but you couldn't quite pinpoint it. Of course you'd wanted to talk to her about it, say thank you for comforting you through your bad day but you just couldn't bring yourself to doing it. Maybe that's why when it got bad again you couldn't go to her.

No instead you were once again on your own, back to your old comforting methods of coping. The comfort from the familiar pain grounding you. Numbing out the pain in your heart. Although this time, you'd gone too far. You didn't mean to of course. Normally you could control it. But not today. You were unable to stop yourself now. Tears flowing, mind running rampant as you  started slowly losing consciousness. Maybe just maybe this would be it. Your forever darkness.

Coach Vlad was a close friend of yours, and weekly you'd spend the evening catching up. After all you were still quite new to Nevermore, and you found it hard to make new friends. You and Vlad had been friends for years due to your families knowing eachother. He knew of your depression and anxiety. He knew you took medication to manage it. He also knew of your other coping mechanisms. Not ones he encouraged you to explore, but he also understood you couldn't stop. An addictive habit like that is extremely hard to control. But never in all the years of friendship you shared had he found you like this. Bleeding out, unconscious on the floor with tear stained cheeks. Instantly, his first aid training kicked in, checking for your breathing. It was there slow and shallow but there. On instinct he called it in, putting pressure on the self inflicted wounds waiting for the paramedics to arrive. Once they did and he handed you over to their care, he immediately left to find the one person he knew you'd want at your bedside. After all you had let on to him your feelings for the tall blonde, and she had let him in on her feelings. Neither of you brave enough to tell the other.

Rapid knocks hammered against the heavy mahogany doors, "Larissa , it's y/n!" He explained the emotion thick in his voice. After all his best friend had just been carted off bleeding out in front of his very eyes. "Y/n? Vlad what happened?" The concern and fear anchoring every word. "She's at the hospital. I don't know what happened. She's normally in control of it. She must have gone to far this time" the tears now plucking at his eyes. That was all it took for Larissa to rush past him like a hurricane intent on finding you.

Driving faster than she was sure was legal, Larissa made her way to the hospital. Panic causing her to function on adrenaline. What had Vlad meant gone to far? Why didn't you come to her. Why would you do this to your beautiful self? So many questions left unanswered as she burst into the hospital. "Y/n y/l where is she" her voiced boomed out startling the receptionist. "Room 37, principle Weems" she stuttered out at the blonde women's retreating form. Not even allowing the women to finish she stalked her way to room 37, driven by the pure need to just lay eyes on you.

Finding the room easily she peaked in at your unconscious form, arms bandaged up, monitors steadily beating. You were alive. Thank god. She entered the room quietly taking in the sight of you hooked up to many different machines. The rhythmic beating providing her with some reassurance. She came to your bed side and sank down in the chair. Only now processing what she'd been feeling, only now she knew you were at least alive. "Oh Y/n, my darling why didn't you come to me. I could've helped, I can't stand that you feel like this alone to the point you feel the need to do this. My darling I can't stand to see you this way." Her emotions causing the words to sound strangled as she whispered them to what she thought was your unconscious form. "I must confess I can't tell you when your awake, maybe I did you wouldn't be here now, but darling I well I love you. I can't lose you. So you must heal okay? Heal and come back to me so maybe I can spend the rest of my days showing you, you'll always have me" the tears falling from her eyes landing on your now joint hands. Her head dropped to rest against your hands just happy to feel your warmth, being extremely cautious of your bandages.

It was the weak squeeze you gave that had her upright in seconds, "Y/n? Your awake? Are you in any pain!? What can I do?" She panicked not sure what to do for the best. "Sit down Larissa" you tried to demand but it came out weak, causing you to cringe at your voice. How much blood had you lost this time? Your vision was blurry and you assumed the stinging in your arm was the fluid being pushed into your intervene-us drip. You were shocked when she did as asked. "I Larissa I'm sorry" you mumbled dumbly. Nothing you could say would help ease the pain you could see in her eyes. "Oh darling don't be sorry, it's okay. Just please come to me when you feel so low." You could tell by her voice she was sincere. "I'm sorry Rissa I didn't want to bother you..." you trailed off avoiding her gaze. You caused her so much pain it almost made you wish you'd not woken.

"Darling, I need you to really hear these words." She stated and you nodded in acknowledgment, "you aren't ever a bother to me, I promise you. I gosh this is harder than I thought, I love you Y/n..." this time it was Larissa avoiding your gaze, missing how the tears flowed down your cheeks. "You what?" You murmured quietly. "I love you Y/n I thought you'd died on me." The pain evident once more. "I I love you too" you whimpered out through your sobs. "Oh darling don't cry please don't cry" she faltered wishing to gather you in her arms but not wanting to hurt you. You shifted creating a space so she could curl around your broken body. She did so willingly stroking through your curls and dropping sweet little kisses to your head. Your body still exhausted from the ordeal it had suffered, you lay there blinking away the sleep that her ministrations we causing. "Hush darling just rest now, I have you Y/n. I love you darling please rest for me. I'll be here with you when you awake." She reassured you as you finally gave into the exhaustion.

Word count~ 1943

*Authors note~ this was very therapeutic but hard to write I tired to avoid too much detail but I hope I did the prompt some justice, filler post*

#anon answered #v3nusxsky answers #fanfic #principal larissa weems #larissa weems #larissa x you #larissa weems x reader #larissa x reader #principal larissa weems x reader #weems #weems x reader #principal weems