gotta respect how in the beginning neil was so paranoid he went coocoo over nicky speaking german and slept with his face to the wall so he can put his lenses on first thing when he wakes up in case of emergency but then we he actually started receiving a fucking COUNTDOWN to (the most certainly) the day of his untimely demise he was like pheeew don’t care i just wanna do my exy thing and be kissing boys one (1) boy 🥰
I like how Nora tried to make us believe there was something between Renee and Jean like- no- that's a lesbian collecting traumatized gay men to be her friends like they're Pokémon
No but you don’t understand. In years to come, one day Neil and Andrew will finally hit a point of complete trust, where both of them are still a bit cracked and shattered, still riddled with stone walls and iron gates to guard themselves- but with eachother, those walls are down.
Neil will still have nightmares, because those don’t ever fully go away. He’ll wake up screaming or nauseous, but the thing is- he won’t feel the need to hide it. He’ll instinctually turn to Andrew for comfort, instinctively letting him in, letting him see the twisted damaged version of himself that lies under his surface.
And Andrew? Andrew will open his arms for him without a second of hesitation. He’ll let Neil fall into his embrace, therefore allowing touch that isn’t fully spelled out or perfectly permissioned. He’ll let Neil cling to him as he chokes on his own breath, he’ll sooth him with careful touches and nonsense words.
And in that moment of brokenness- both of them will realize that they’re one step closer to whole.