#and yes this is more of my headcanon that the Justice League is the world's biggest polycule

[spacedace]

Here have some snippets of the AU that’s taken over my brain (featuring Elle unintentionally dunking on both of Bruce’s identities, Clark realizing he passed his taste in partners on to his son, a bit of pre/unaware that they are dating Super Serious Chaos, and some blink-and-you-miss-it background Enemies to Lovers Dick/Dan)

---

“Sorry, who’s Bruce Wayne?”

The room when quiet. All heads turned to look at Elle at the end of the table. Bruce didn’t visibly react, but Clark could make out the subtle indication of disbelief that his old friend was feeling - that they all were feeling at the interpreter’s question. Elle, suddenly aware she had the full room’s attention, had the look of someone who realized they’d said something wrong, but didn’t know what.

“You’re kidding.” John said, “You know Bruce Wayne. Everyone knows Bruce Wayne.”

Elle blinked. “I don’t.” She glanced from face to face, “Is he like a big deal? Does he work here or something? I haven’t been around that long so I might have missed him.”

It took every bit of self control Clark had not to laugh. His voice still came out a bit strangled from the effort as he offered, “No he doesn’t work here.” If Bruce was the type to do so in uniform, he’d be kicking Clark under the table.

“You live in Gotham. You have to know Bruce Wayne.” Barry said, voice going a bit high with growing bewilderment. “Mega ba-jillionair. CEO of Wayne Tech? Richest man in Gotham - in the world? Has like a hundred kids?”

Their interpreter’s nose scrunched. “So he’s like…in one of those fundamentalist cults obsessed with having a bunch of kids or something?”

Bruce actually twitched at that. The sound of utter disgust in Elle’s voice at the concept, the complete and total lack of any kind of recognition she had for the single most famous non-crime or crime-fighting related person in the city that she lived in, she truly had no idea who they were talking about. Clark had to get a recording of the room’s security feed, Lois would love this. Oh, wait no, Bruce’s kids. Maybe if he was fast enough he could text Dick to get there ASAP so he could see it all in person before it was over.

“No! Nothing like that! He adopted them - well most of them.” Barry tried to explain, looking utterly lost as he turned from Elle to the rest of them and back again. “You’re messing with us right? This is like a joke?”

Elle shook her head, looking just as lost as Barry did. “I have no idea who you’re talking about.”

“Do you know Dick Grayson?”

“I know of an officer Grayson who is a dick. Total tool. He’s been making my brother’s Dan’s life miserable for like a year now. Pretty sure not who you’re talking about though.”

“Jason Todd.”

“The library goon?”

“Tim Drake.”

“Sounds like a Dark Wing Duck character.”

“Cassandra Cain.”

“Isn’t that the author that started out writing incest Harry Potter fanfic?”

“Duke Thomas?”

“What’s he a Duke of?”

Barry snapped his fingers, pointing emphatically at Elle with a look of victory on his masked face as he shouted, “Damian Wayne!”

Damian, who had at that moment just walked into the meeting room with Jon at his heels paused in his place just behind Elle. He did pretty well at hiding his surprise at Barry seemingly shouting his civilian name and pointing at him upon walking in. Though the tense line of his shoulders suggested that if Barry was actually revealing his secret identity without warning or permission, there would be blood.

Stella Nightingale, unaware of the almost-kinda identity reveal going on around her, tilted her head in confusion at the speedster. “I’m assuming he’s related to that Bruce Wayne guy?”

“They’re all related to Bruce Wayne.” John said with open amusement now. The Green Lantern had given up on the research entirely, watching the entire debacle with a growing smirk he kept casting towards Bruce. “That man’s face is plastered absolutely everywhere in the news. How do you not know who he is?”

“If Lois Lane hasn’t written about him he can’t be that important.” Elle said with a casual certainty of one speaking a core tenant of their beliefs. Clark’s opinion of the young woman - already quite high considering her ferocious loyalty and fondness to Jon - rose sharply.

“You’re read the Daily Planet?” Clark asked, warmth curling in his chest at the mention of his wife and her work.

“I read articles by Lois Lane.” Elle said promptly, “I tried reading some articles that Kent guy she partners with sometimes wrote on his own but I couldn’t get past his writing style. Dude sounds like he’s from outer space with his word choice sometimes.”

Bruce, looking far too pleased, gave a quiet and not terribly convincing cough as Clark tried to will his soul back into his body.

It was going to be a long day.

—

“You are at least aware of who Gotham’s vigilantes are, yes?” Damian asked with a raised brow behind his mask.

Elle shrugged, giving him a sly smile. “The relevant ones.”

Clark tried to hide his short laugh with a feigned cough. Elle at least was distracted enough with Jon and Damian’s attention to notice but Bruce was giving him a look over the tablet he was trying - and undoubtedly failing - to review files on.

Jon grinned eagerly from his spot beside Elle as he asked, “Aren’t they all relevant to you? You live in Gotham.”

“I live in Crime Alley.” Elle corrected, bumping his shoulder with hers. “We have different standards of relevancy there.”

“So what are the relevant ones then?” Clark asked, pointedly ignoring Bruce’s burning stare. They’d get back to the research. Eventually. Finding out if the Gothamite who had been spending all her free time with Phoenix and Flamebird for the past year and a half was as oblivious to her city’s heroes as she was its celebrities was too entertaining a notion to pass up.

“Phoenix, obviously.” She grinned cheekily at Damian across the table, ticking names off her fingers as she continued. “Red Hood. Spoiler. Uh…Orphan?” She trailed off, forehead scrunching in concentrated thought.

“That’s can’t be all the ones you know.” Jon gaped, eyes sparkling with amusement as he glanced over to were Bruce was seated, not five feet away before turning back to watch Elle try to rack her brain for any more Gotham vigilantes. Clark could see the moment that the words are taken as a challenge as Elle sat up and looked more determined.

“No, shut up, I know more. Uh…there’s the one, um Red Sparrow? It’s another bird one with red name, I’m pretty sure. And the one with the blue - fuck I should know his name. Nightjar? Wasn’t Nightingale I would have remembered that…shit, dude threw up on our couch once I should remember his name -“

“Nightwing threw up on your couch?”

“Nightwing! That’s the bitch! He got poisoned or something and Dan drug him to our place to patch him up since Doc Thompkins’ clinic was closed.”

Clark shared a look with Bruce and Damian. Dick had failed to mention that little event. Clark could see Bruce reaching for his wrist computer, undoubtedly typing out a message his eldest about what he’d just heard - possibly another to Alfred if he was feeling like pulling out the big guns.

At the other end of the table Elle ticked Nightwing off with a nod, even as Jon squawked that it shouldn’t count since he’d given her the name, “Then there’s…uh…oh! Harley Quinn!”

“Harley Quinn does not count.”

“She beat up a guy trying to mug me last week and got me a hot chocolate afterwards, she totally counts!”

“Someone tried to mug you?”

“Crime Alley, Nix, if someone doesn’t try to mug me while I’m out I get worried that I missed Hood calling in a Street Clear for something big.”

“We’re going to circle back on that later.” Jon said, sharing a pointed glance with Damian. It looked like young Miss Nightingale was going to be getting escorted to and from the Watchtower from now on.

Ah, Clark mused, falling head over heels for someone with no understanding of the concept of self-preservation and a stubborn determination to run straight into the heart of danger without a second thought. It brought back such fond memories. Of both Lois and Bruce. And Diana. And - Hmm. Kara might have been right. Clark might have a type.

Watching the three at the other end of the table and taking them in, Clark realized he might have passed his taste in partners on to his son. Well, at least he’ll be able to give Jon some advise on how to handle the heart attacks Damian and Elle will inevitably give him.

“Harley Quinn doesn’t count. You got any more?”

Elle rolled her eyes, muttering about Harley totally counts, before leaning back in her chair. “I think I’m out. I know there’s more but,” She gave a shrug, “I’m tapped out. Those are all the ones I can think of.”

It was, surprisingly, Bruce that spoke up at that declaration, a slant of amusement to his lips as he asked, “No one else comes to mind?”

Elle waved him off, attention turning to the mountain of alien script they needed her to translate for them. It was the reason she was even there rather than in her office trying to translate whatever incredibly dangerous magic tomb JL Dark had dropped off without accidentally summoning a demon or ending hte world in the process. J’onn was right, they really should give her a raise.“That’s all I got.” She said with a sigh, “Like I said, I know the relevant ones.”

“Hn.”

Twenty minutes of shared looks of amusement and suppressed laughter later Elle’s head shot up, a look of wide eyed embarrassment on her face. “Oh my god.”

“There it is.”

“About time Nightingale, I was starting to be concerned about your mental faculties.”

“Shut up, this so embarrassing!”

“Don’t sweat it kid, we all have our moments.”

“I can’t believe I forgot Signal.”

“What.”

---

Context of this snippet if anyone is interested:

This is actually the same AU as the Steph & Jason sibling bonding Anger Management snippet from a bit ago (I’m calling it my Ghosts in Gotham AU in scrivener so I guess that’s what I’ll call it here lol). This time focused on Elle and her misadventures as a Totally Normal Civilian (TM) working for the Justice League with her two besties Jon & Damian (none of them realize yet that they’ve been dating for months).

No idea when this is supposed to take place in terms of timeline with the other snippet, but kinda vibing the idea that while Steph & Jason are having a heart to heart on a rooftop over their shared background and Jason’s future as a dad, Elle is up in the Watchtower telling Bruce Wayne to his face that she has no idea who he is and forgetting Batman is a Gotham vigilante while he’s sitting at the same table as her.

Anyway, this AU has taken over my life. Expect more nonsense to come lol

#dp x dc #dc x dp #dpxdc #dani phantom #danielle phantom #super serious chaos #superseriouschaos #jon kent #jon el kent #Damian Wayne #clark kent #justice league #bruce wayne #barry allen #john stewart #ghosts in gotham au #batfam #elle doesn't pay any attention to the famous people in gotham unless they're trying to kill her or save her #and she might not even pay attention then #and yes this is more of my headcanon that the Justice League is the world's biggest polycule #no i will never let that headcanon go i love it too much #there's a version of this world where Elle never figures out that Bruce Wayne is supposed to be kind of a big deal #years in the future she Dami & Jon are married & she has a new friend she's made over for lunch #and they see some of the family photos and are like #is that fucking Bruce Wayne at your wedding? #Elle - oblivious: oh you know my father-in-law? #Bruce gets unmasked before Elle knows about everyone's identities & he's freaking out while she's just #full lex luthor moment: I have no idea who this is #Bruce: you know who I am now #Elle - does not know who he is but doesn't want to admit to it guessing: Clark Kent?

[flashdoesahundredyarddash]

ok but what do you think of demiromantic hal?? someone mentioned that he's aro coded and it's something I didn't knew but needed it 😭

As someone who is on the ace spectrum (demiromantic and asexual), I really like when people write about some of my favorite characters having the same sexualities as me.

I do headcanon him as demiromantic, and also pansexual.

(Down below is me explaining him being demiromantic when it comes to his feelings and also Barry + Carol...)

HOWEVER, he is... as Ollie says a space tomcat, he takes on emotions much more seriously in my hc. He can do whatever, but when it comes to how he feels romantically it became a lot harder for him to express himself romantically too. <- Trouble with love genuinely but with trying to tell people anything related with love has been a topic for him. Which is also an explaination of the acts that he does for the people he cares about because it REPLACES him trying to explain his feelngs. When you think about it, the way Hal shows his love towards people or showing that he cares comes into a lot of wild acts or making sure that he'll come to the ends of the Earth when it comes to someone. (Like in your post, which I forgot to reblog and add to it :3, in DC vs Vampires, how Hal wanted to rule the world with Barry....) ------ Unrelated but related-- While yes, he does save people, Hal is deepened through emotional bonds both platonically and romantically... (I like to take this literal, as a form of being bonded by lantern ring emotion such as Carol with holding to Star Sapphire and Barry with being expressed by HAL to hold the mantle of hope, because it took years with these two for Hal to be linked with them in some type of way -> Sorry, I'm kinda normal about the bond Carol and Hal have, there's many levels of a relationship that these two have -- Including Barry and Hal together. There's a lot of things to talk about these two.)

This first occurs with Carol. As they grew older (Teen years to Adulthood <- Before JL), it gave Hal time of falling for her. Whether it was those long talks out on drives or opening up to each other about the deeper things. Plus, bringing in the things they face together and the collaborations these two agree on or disagree or OVERALL the way they communicate through different forms when it came to both in suit and out of suit. One of my thoughts for my Demiromantic Hal hc. Not only this but they also have a deep connection together later when it comes the Star Sapphire Possessions + Hal being Reborn in Spectre while Carol has presumably moved on. Although it took a bit to figure himself out, he both cares and loves Carol in impossible ways that could be explained. Which leads me to the next case...

(I had to ramble about them... They are like the best friends ever + including Barry and Iris when they come along.)

Sharing to add on for your post... But this is ALSO an idea I've been having for a fic... But I don't have time to write it ALL because I want to make it to many chapters. Be Prepared because I like when you mention HalBarry to me, I get happy because I don't talk about it to people. I also love to hear HalBarry thoughts because I project things that people don't get much like what I'm about to write..

The way Hal feels when it comes to being in love, is partially dumbfounded, it's something that sets him back when he realizes that there's an elephant in the room. One he describes as longing in a way where he didn't know he felt this fast. When in reality it has been years since this friendship. Yes, feelings for one of his best friends. One that he's been friends with since the beginning of the Justice League formation. Which was long... His hair is grey and the smile that was once without wrinkles now forms lines whenever he smiles or laughs.. In his mind, it feels that the feelings that are coming into play feel dangerous. How it makes his palms sweat just being near Barry. How when he isn't being occupied by anything busy, he's thinking about a fond memory with Barry. How Barry makes him smile, the way everything about his friend just makes him giddy like some teenage puppy love. Something he never got to experience but god, when he's with Barry, he feels so young. That even imagining them growing old together is just one step to keeping Hal feeling so young. It's like being awkward when you have no idea where to put your hands. Especially with a friend you've had for many years. A friend who's been there by his side that Hal now begins to think an eye for god knows how many minutes. The friendship teasing between the two and the playful chases that they would take on those evenings when everything just seemed perfect. How standing on that cliff when they were younger, the intimacy of the stare they held. Their deep connection that brings Hal to appreciate every moment he's had with him. How they're practically linked in color. How hope filled the willpower that settled in his personality. That when it came to Barry, it felt like he might have something to lose. Something and someone he's lost before. He knows what it felt to lose Barry. Which one proved his love for Barry to be a lot stronger than what he first thought when it came to the last glimpse of friendship. How that bond turned into a strong form for what Hal should keep fighting for. It was so unexpected. So unexpected to be in love with your best friend.

#THANK YOU FOR THE ASK UHMM #I LOVE DEMIROMANTIC HAL I THINK ITS MY FAVORITE EVER :(( he is so relatable I get him #also don't mind me going insane on the halbarry part... #guys he is so distance by christina perri coded... #i was listening to the halbarry playlist do you get me #UGHHH I COULD GO ON FOREVER BUT IM SEEING LINES ON MY COMPUTER #hope you enjoy this because I so need to write more to the ending #thats like a summary for this #barry fell first but god hal fell harder for him #hal jordan #barry allen #halbarry #and a bit of halcarol in here guys #speedster ramble #if we ever collab cessmaga tthis this #we need to make them halbarry real #i mean it is in one universe but maybe another guys do you get me #I LOVE HAL JORDAN #i would like to say the way hal shows love is really special to me like he cares for people no other

[that-angry-noldo]

An ask! Rank all the women of the house of Finwë (born or married in) with reasoning!

Earwen - FAV. THE girl. I have so many headcanons and she is WAY up on the list. She's so many leagues ahead. Love her.

Amarie - another fav, another blorbo who's mentioned exactly one (1) time, another girl who's entire personality i based solely on my headcanons. My hot take is that she deserves to punch Finrod in the face. She would be wrong about that but it would be funny.

Eldalote - THE VIBES ALRIGHT! I feel she's much closer in spirit to Aegnor that she is to Angrod. She's fiery and quick-witted and is as brilliant on battlefield as her brother-in-law. I don't think much about her but if you want to know, the lyrics I associate with her are "To please them, you need fire / to burn, reveal what your heart desires / you want a war? or justice? revenge, or revolution? / grab your sword, shield, ax, take position, we're spilling blood" (the song is "blood for the blood god" by prescious jewel armor)

Elwing - DESERVED BETTER. ALL THE BEST THINGS IN THE WORLD. ALL THE HUGS. HER FAMILY. HER HUSBAND. HER KIDS. HER BROTHERS. SHE WAS ROBBED AND YET!! love her

Galadriel - excellent aesthetic, tolkien's personal blorbo

Andreth (she counts. fight me.) - love her!! i don't have much thoughts but i love that she's a sage of her people and also her friendship with finrod is heartbreaking

Findis - now THAT'S some shaped design imo. I love thinking about her in Indis' and Finarfin's context but I don't have much else to say unfortunately

Nerdanel - I love how she's associated with water since there's not much characters who are assigned anything but fire. I love thinking about Feanor/Nerdanel, how their relationship developed and fell apart. Also I think she's neat.

Indis - just. yes. Love all the implications. Love thinking about the political situation she found herself into. Also love that she's not a perfect mother - it explicitly states she favoured Fingolfin.

Miriel - hmmmmmm yes the aesthetic!! she's definitely interesting and i love the fanon but i don't exactly love the saint-ification of her? And also hate how people use her to excuse Feanor's actions and slip-ups.

Lalwen - she's cool? i guess? i think the fact that she loved feanor definitely adds some spice and makes her stand out from the rest of her family. also i think she's fingolfin's little sister who causes chaos on purpose

Elenwe - love how she's mentioned exactly once yet has such a great impact on the narrative (re: turgon and idril)

Finduilas - i. don't have much thoughts. which is a shame. but her death was brutal and it makes me sad

Idril - she surely exists and she surely plays a big role but as i said before gondolin isn't much of an interest to me so i can't say much

Anaire - I literally have no thoughts about her but I saw amazing fanart that made me fall in love.

they're all special but some are more special than others

#i placed earwen and anaire on the opposites of the list #THE IRONY #thank you for the ask!! #noldo answers

[fareehaandspaniards]

Hold up, you like Valtr x Henriett too???? I should have guessed because you are one of the last surviving 5 people that aren't restrained by age gaps in shipping but still I thought it was TOO obscure hghjhjk

That's my SECRET side xD I may talk about Damian mostly, since I have a thing for white-haired (blonde) grandpas who are rather evil sexy lords or pure angels. BUT(T). I enjoy really many ships and characters that I never mentioned because I never have enough energy to talk about ALL of them... (in 95% of times I need a lot of energy just to talk so yeah I want to tell a lot but often forget or don't have energy for that)

I am secretly big enjoyer of Valtr, Henryk, Yamamura, Tomb Prospector Olek (lol), Arianna equally with Adella, big FAN of Yurie, Eileen and Bloody Crow of Cainhurst, Ludwig... and etc!

So YES Valtr x Henriett ship looks hot (as you said age gap doesn't scare me. It makes ship even hotter than it was. I don't understand people who scream when two characters who are in love aren't the same age. And by "scream" I mean publicly shaming anyone who ships couples like that! Hope after this I won't receive a message from anon like "SO you can ship 10 y.o. girl yeah???? If age gap in a relationship is cool then you ship kids right????!" because it's pure absurd and hysteria. Age gap is always perceived by fandom-society like something AWFUL, DISGUSTING and mostly by people who enjoy even more weird kinks)

(And you might ship 18 y.o. character with a 2000000010010903 y.o. eternal being and everything is fine for a fandom while eternal being looks sexy BUT WHEN IT COMES TO GRANDDILFS, PEOPLE ARE BEING BITC-)

(sorry it's not a vent post :'D Completely changed the topic)

I can't say I know much about Henriett except for her being beatiful and her connection with Amelia, Ludwig and Laurence. Also she has something against League. And this shit when two fantoms can't be summoned simultaneously makes me go HURRRRR because you know the two have something between them???

She gives me vibes of hmmm... Irene Adler who is now Sherlock Holmes? I remember Crow drew Henriett for you mentioning Shelock Holmes and now this is stuck in my head. Stoic, beautiful young lady who is interested in justice for all. From a good family, maybe even noble, but who chose a path of a Hunter with her huge weapon. I headcanon Valtr to be her former "mentor" until she found out that League is built on his insanity and he can't even see evil bugs himself. Disappointing :с Her vibe is like:

Also I thought that Gehrman/Maria also has a vibe of a teacher/student, but with gehrmaria it's more about romantical guiding the one you love with both mutual respect and tenderness. While these two have... Have some problems with that. I headcanon Valtr as a person who was REALLY interested in Henriett, but could show it through mumbling and telling her his own vision of the world and wanting from her to join him in everything, while she has own plans and ambitions, for example aeeeehhh destroy the wicked ones from the Church? haha so funny, unless...

Anyway good ship.

Little ambitious lady who is ready to kick some asses and tall sad unstable man, who has issues

#my art #funny #mutuals #ask #valtr master of the league #old hunter henriett #bloodborne #bloodborne headcanons

[goldentemplariumcrow]

It is my personal headcanon that in my crossover verse with Young Justice, there will always be some sort of beef between Dionisus and someone else that will prevent him from being accepted or even feel comfortable around the team of young heroes. Be it a problem with their mentors or someone in the team, it's something that weighs him down, because he's still trying very hard to figure out who and what he is during seasons 1 and 2 — hence him using taser blades instead of the Corvix blades, the taser ones don't slash or pierce, they just bruise and stun with heavy shocks —, and in seasons 3 and 4 he's made peace with the fact that he's a killer — yes, he's trying to do better, but he can't deny the facts and that it takes him more effort to stay his hands than to simply go for the jugular of those who get in his way.

Personally, I also love the angst of this beef coming into play when Felipe is killed, because Dio knows he won't receive any help from the Templar Order to find out who killed his father and why, so he'd go for the Young Justice team or even the Justice League for help, because he wants to believe they will look beyond his family's history and even beyond his own sins and mistakes. However, his pleas for help are denied exactly for who he has the potential to become and that's the moment when he renounces the last little bit of innocence he still nurtured in his heart and soul, because he finally realizes that he'll need to face the path ahead completely on his own and that he doesn't have time for grief and mourning, for he also has to take care or his little brother, Emilio.

At age seventeen, Dio then locks any semblance of his caring nature in the depths of his soul and becomes bitter and distant, he snaps and pushes everyone away from himself, only accepting Emilio's presence and love for him as genuine.

He disappears in the world never to be heard of again until he finally comes back a decade later as a grown man just doing his duty and wanting to get out of absolutely everyone's paths as soon as possible. Dio becomes bitter with the years ans lack of luck in his days, but somewhere, deep inside, his hope hasn't died yet, it survived the pain, suffering and grief, and so, there's still a chance for others to help him out and remind him of who he was when they were younger and who he can still be, if only he allow himself to believe again.

#》headcanons:dionisus #》crossover:dc

[batarangsoundsdumb]

guess fucking what? my inbox is so fucking full right now i'm unloading all of this shit in one post.

For the 11th gotham memes: gothamites react to bruce being jacked in a tiktok he made with kids, like super yoked, ripped as hell

fucking hilarious thanks. i think i did it in one meme post, but i genuinely don't remember which one

i dunno which of the batfam would do this but one time i was sleeping over at a friends house and ended up on the floor bc the bed was so very small and i just stayed there because the rug was soft

that's a drunk jason move i don't know what to tell you

tim and jason are "i listen to pop punk" solidarity. whenever jason highjacks the batmobile theyll go on long ass car rides blaring mcr and paramore and then never talk about it again

as they should!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! tim: no jason it's my turn using the aux cord i gotta put on my jams jason: don't you dare put on weird shit tim: don't worry, you're gonna love this *plays fearless (taylor's version)

hear me out hear me out, red hood stans 🤝 nightwing stans t h i g h s

holy shit yes.

SNL au: Bruce breaks character when pretending to superman and says something like "I'm not superman! You've seen his gps!! It's from 2001!!!" @sabeanybabe

superman flies past the snl building the next day just to say 'actually it's from 2005, i'm not a heathen'

does your back hurt from carrying the batfam fandom

it hurts more from the exotic rock collection i keep in my backpack, but thanks for the concern.

I love your posts by why would you always leave the best parts in the tags?

as a treat for the people that check the tags ;) (and also because i'm committed to the short post aesthetic)

somehow your playlist was everything i never knew i needed. i mean it. this is my new favorite playlist.

and don't you dare get a new favourite playlist!

babe ur stoner tim playlist is exactly too perfect, earth is literally blessed by ur existence

babe thanks so much! i love my stoner tim playlist because it's just my usual playlist but people think it's an artistic choice that i put taylor swift and britney spears in there, when it's just what i unironically like listening to

JANDKSKDK BILLY RAY CYRUS ON THE STONER TIM PLAYLIST I LOVE IT IT

again it's not even an ironic choice, i know every single word and i genuinely like the song

The last chapter of Fundamentals of Casework has me crying at work. Thanks I love it @dudelookitsalesbian

oh babe, i'm sorry, but also, not sorry i love chapter 4 so much it's my lovechild with the 'mental illness' tag

soooo....stumbled on your tumblr by some stroke of fate??? read your DC fanfic first. which is PHENOMENAL btw. then found all the batmemes; the funniest thing EVER bc everyone forgets about regular old gothamites. kept scrolling and your blog pops up as recommended. clicked on the ao3 for shits and giggles and waddaya know?!?!? it's YOU!!! you're LEGEND!!!! ever seen that meme? it's a video of a cat that got into a baseball field and the two announcers get really invested in his escape attempt and start giving a play by play of the cat instead of the game. memeable moment: "GREAT stuff from the Cat!!!"

i seriously think about this ask every single day and it's so fucking funny to me that i've never seen the meme you're referencing, but i still find myself going 'GREAT stuff from the Cat!!!' whenever i see something funny. but wow i'm glad you liked this steaming pile of garbage

Fav dc character overall? And fav batfamily character?

don't ask me to pick between the loves of my life, but i can tell you i've cried about every single batfamily member and also wally west (my beloved)

What's your opinion on fans having a problem with batfam being "too big"? And some even claim that batfam is just "Bruce Alfred Dick Damian" and the rest of them are just "friends and allies" (source: reddit) Personally, I like batfam because of this reason but idk

stupid. a family can never be too big. i'm not that big a fan of like huge batfam stuff with everybody from every single universe, because as much as it's funny for bruce to have like 30 kids, it just feels a little too OOC for me.

This is the best tag I've seen involving the batfam, thanks for thinking of it

This is canon now @nctxrejects

lmao yeah i think at that point alfred has had to sit through like at least a dozen coming out talks and just has a pride flag collection in the attic that he pulls out whenever a kid comes out

idk why batfam hits different as compared to any other superhero family

bc it's found family and usually the other superhero families are almost all genetically related in one way or another

I don't know if you watch the umbrella academy but I saw your last post about batcest and saw the similarities. But the thing is (although I think it's weird) in TUA, they addressed it by saying "they were raised as weapons, not siblings" or something along those lines, which is simply not the case with batfam.

yeah i watched tua but i also thought it was ridiculous and they still treated each other as siblings so i didn't like the luthor/allison thing, and am glad they stopped doing that shit bc it fucking sucked.

Hot take: Batcest shippers are the same people who believe adopted siblings are not actual siblings

smoking hot take: batcest shippers are the people who watch 'my sister got stuck in the washing machine' porn

Duke was adopted by Bruce?

not technically no, but do i, tumblr user batarangsoundsdumb, look like i care?

True story but I had to change my freaking name because it used to be "Damien" and most people would go "OH LIKE DAMIAN WAYNE" like please I'm just tryna live

true story, but i don't actually think of damian when i hear the name damian, literally the first thing that pops up is damian darkh like bruh what?

apparently dc comics company supported comic stores by giving out new titles and stuff during the beginning of the pandemic to help them run and I just think that's wholesome

ah yeah that's so fucking cool, still don't like dc, the company, because this world is a capitalist hellhole and we're all owned by warner brothers or disney with no in between.

ayo looking at tumblr head canons and finding out bruce is actually a terrible father is a punch in the gut

lmao yes, in like 50% of comics bruce is a terrible father and it gives me whiplash

oooh I just saw the jason todd vs winter soldier post and the real question is: batman vs iron man

while iron man has like hundreds of cases of armor, batman could throw out an emp and have the guy dropping out of the sky in 2 seconds.

dickfast = fastdick = quickdick = quickie

magnum hot take

hey bata(?) just thought I'd let you know I have copied the obnoxious emoji and Billy Ray post for use on simping men going forth

thank you 😘🌷 (@spacebarsidecar)

why would you do that to your followers???? i get why i did it, but why would you???

what is scarecrow made the nightwing funko pop himself, like those diy-ers that paint over other ones

oh god no, horrible take, horrible take, that's a disgusting thought oh no

I see your HC that Bruce and Oliver fucked and raise you this: Dick and Roy ALSO fucked

yes they did and it was a horrible moment for jason to find out dick has fucked both of his best friends

"at this rate bruce adds like 1 child to his family every decade or so" Duke is introduced in 2013, Damian as Damian, not as an unnamed child, in 2006. And he is already 14 years old, Robins rarely remain Robins after 16 😬 It looks like a new Robin and Batkid will appear in a couple of years

i mean i can't wait? but somebody will probably die first tho, we're due for another major character death. my money's on either cass or duke this time.

BRO you're so right all of your Bruce's ex headcanons are amazing but they aren't ships, that's kinda wild. Like I don't want any peeks into how their relationship was I just want to see everyone make fun of them

lmao YES it's just i love bruce being a slut, like good for him.

I am in love with your posts your honour thank you

omg thanks are we like,, gonna kiss now?

The justice league needs to have a meeting to discuss how many of their members/partners have slept with bruce. Because through a combination of cannon & fannon (if DC wasn’t homophobic) we have AT LEAST: 1) clark 2) lois 3) oliver 4) dinah 5) john

Thats not counting villains or random civilians @dudelookitsalesbian

yes yes yes, they'll have a yearly meeting about how many of their collective exes could be out for revenge and batman's list just keeps getting longer.

tim was like "i'm drake now" and everyone was like ahh so your fursona is a dragon and tim was like pffffft no. ducks.

and what about it?

when steph's fighting livewire and she zaps her with lighting and nothing happens and then they both just. stand there awkwardly for a second and talk. yeah i couldn't stop laughing at that batgirl steph is the BEST

oh yeah that was fucking hilarious and i think it would be so cool and sexy of dc to give steph a little comic series,,, as a treat

Hi I absolutely adore all of yours "Bruce and Oliver very badly pretending they didn't fuck each other" memes

lmao i do too

I need you to know that “Bruce Wayne had frosted tips” is one of my favorite Bruce takes of all time it’s so galaxy brained. you’re right and you should say it

he also painted his hair blonde once when he was travelling and in conclusion, this is why he's being blackmailed by the gotham gazette.

you know my thing about gordon being branded as the only good cop in gotham is its a load of shit like arguably he's a good person and not working to screw people over or anything but the fact that he also works w. batman makes him a shit cop. like yea batman is better than the mob but its still illegal its still an abuse of power he just not making bank

babe, all cops are bad cops. (but yeah youre absolutely right, working with vigilantes makes you a shit cop, but also working against vigilantes just makes you an asshole cop yanno?)

ruh roh i think i’m about to add “so not yeehaw” every time i don’t like something

that's a very good vocabulary upgrade

somehow i feel like steph already knew. like babs obviously knew but i feel like bruce got high/drunk in front of steph and started telling his boarding school stories and steph was just like “oh you fucked up i’m never gonna forget this”

steph and bruce have weird uncle/rebellious niece dynamic and they just hang out sometimes and bruce will be like 'i once broke my arm when i tripped over a hedge when i was drunk so oliver drove me to the hospital on an electric scooter' and steph will just have to sit there with that knowledge in her head.

Hello I just wanted to tell you you are So right in all your steph opinions bc she is, in fact amazing and I think that's very sexy of you. Ps. Your Bruce/Oliver fic is hilarious

babe, thank you so much and yes steph is amazing and i love her and she deserves the world and she's the best member of the batfam hands down. also thanks

In Supersons we see a couple of kids that are implied to be Damian and Jon's children and the boy has laser eyes and can fly, so I asume he's not adopted. The girl, who calls Bruce grandpa, can also fly, btw. So it's canon (probably by accident) that Jon can have kids and he must have married one of Bruce's kids. (I'm hoping for Damian, mostly because any other of his children would be waaaaaaaaaaaaay too old.) @artemisa97

lmao that was probably an accident seeing as jon is a 17 year old superhero in the year 3000 (by the jonas brothers)

You know, I'm a die hard fan of your memes, but I gotta say one thing: if Gothamites actually took gas mask everywhere with them, then the Scarecrow would just be a weird dude in a weird costume, and not a villain oh so scary. DC really should just takes notes from you.

bold of you to assume there's no gothamite anti-maskers

How does it feel being the funniest person on this app?

horrible, next question.

I can't listen to Green Day or Billy Joel without thinking of your post about how Bruce got arrested at a Billy Joel concert @nightwings-kid

yeah that's your mistake, i on the other hand can't enjoy billy joel without thinking about the glee rendition of 'uptown girl'

I've FINALLY been watching the Batman animated series and I gotta say, after watching "the gray ghost" I am CONVINCED that Batman is a closeted super hero geek who was 100% freaking out the first time he met Superman and is just REALLY good at hiding it.

superman: so what do you do in your free time? batman, thinking about the superman fanfiction he's writing on the batcomputer: i have no free time

bruce and oliver be like boyfriends to co-workers 401k (do the justice leagues get 401ks??? not that bruce and ollie would need them, but-)

lmao yes just 400 thousand words of bruce realising 'oh dip oliver is such a fucking dumbass' (also i don't know what a 401 k is but i assume they don't?)

Gothamites would totally boo superman as he saves Gotham while batman is out. @meenje

he's like 'okay think about that next time you want to be saved from an alien octopus'

I just took long break from dc comics and I come back to see ric grayson ??

i think it's very cool and sexy of dc to see dick and just think 'you know what? let's just give him a traumatic brain injury' and then didn't develop his character in any real way

SPEAKING OF RIC GRAYSON, gothamites making confused memes out of ric grayson is much needed

'dick grayson is my taxi driver? can anyone explain what the fuck happened he looks like an italian plumber?'

i hate to say it but batfam are def "marvel characters" in that sense they are characters who are human but become superheroes unlike most dc characters who are gods trying to be human maybe this is why I like batfam

fair enough

#this is only like half of it #but at least you can get like a few answers #yanno fuck it #bataranswers #ask #asks #anon

[thefingerfuckingfemalefury]

Let’s Read Comics! With Samantha and her GHOUL-friend :D

And for Halloween month we’re reading a silver age Justice League tale in which they take on the DEADLY POWERS OF SINISTER DEMONIC MAGIC in a tale of posessed fashion models, demonic roller discos and one of the oddest fights in the series

Join us for this frightfully good time!

My Girlfriend: it looks like Batman is about to throw hands here

Me: “Can’t we have one meeting where Superman doesn’t start a fistfight with someone”

So how is this situation resolved?

Well

My Girlfriend: So was every silver age cover just MADE OF LIES

Me: PRETTY MUCH YES

My Girlfriend: I FEEL DECEIVED

So while Firestorm completely uneventfully joins the Justice League despite the cover saying otherwise, we turn our attention to…

Me: “Sir, this is an Arby’s”

My Girlfriend: I don’t think I’ve ever seen a bigger onslaught of purple prose for a Narrator to say “People are sad, they go dancing to feel better”

Me: The idea that maybe people just enjoy dancing because it’s fun has never entered the writers head

But Our would be John Travolta is being observed by something sinister, evil and inhuman…

No not the  Church of Scientology, but something almost as monstrous  

My Girlfriend: JUST SAY RED

JUST

SAY

R E D

Me: Of course this came out in the seventies so when they say she has “Exotic tastes” they just mean that she seasons her food and knows what Paprika is

Sabrina Sultress beckons for him to follow her and seemingly in a trance he does even as the narrator informs us that her nickname of “The Satin Satan” holds more irony than people would guess

Me: Well that’s another thing he has in common with John Travolta

It took hypnotism for him to want to go to a woman’s bedroom

My Girlfriend: I SEE WHAT YOU DID THERE

What I don’t see is a correct definition of irony in this story

Meanwhile at the Hall of Justice…uhhhh…I mean the Justice League satellite, Firestorm has been invited to join

He responds in typical fashion

Me: “We actually need a yes or no answer here”

My Girlfriend: He’ll be less overjoyed when he sees all the paperwork he has to fill out

Me: “I’ll miss all those initiation hazing rituals

Like when Wonder Woman blindfolded me and spanked me with that paddle”

My Girlfriend: “…….

We don’t have any initiation hazing rituals”

Me: WONDER WOMAN SWEATS NERVOUSLY

My Girlfriend: I’m a little concerned at the implication that the League are planning to keep Firestorm under some kind of superhero house arrest

Me: Don’t worry it’s not like Batman’s going to build some kind of sentient satellite to spy on him at all times

My Girlfriend: Mmmmmm

Me: I like to think the whole time Zatanna is delivering this heartfelt monologue Firestorm is just making “NYOOM” noises as he flies around

My Girlfriend: PLAUSIBLE

Me: That “Thrill of self discovery” line is giving me HEADCANONS as well

My Girlfriend: Zatanna has “Discovered” much

Especially during all those “Sparring” sessions with Diana and Dinah

However as Firestorm gets a crash course in the satellite from Batman he inwardly grumbles that he’s finding learning about it “Duller than history class”

Me: IT’S AN OUTERSPACE SUPERHERO CLUBHOUSE FULL OF TROPHIES FROM SUPERVILLAINS AND SPACE ALIENS

HOW ARE YOU B O R E D

My Girlfriend: Either Batman is the worlds worst public speaker or Firestorm is just being a grump

Professor Martin Stein, the scientist telepathically bonded to Ronnie Raymond, psychically tells him to pay attention and pokes a little fun at his earlier behaviour…which prompts Firestorm to decide it’s time to re-tell his origin story

My Girlfriend: “Let me recap for you events we were both present for and are fully aware of”

Me: I thin Ronnie’s just trying to sneakily get out of a lecture from the professor here by distracting him with that old silver age standby…a needless origin retelling!

My Girlfriend: A FIENDISH PLAN

Me: He knows that by law, no one is allowed to refuse or interrupt a secret origin story in the silver age

My Girlfriend: “I needed to impress the woman I loved so I nearly became an accomplice to a war crime”

Me: You could have just taken her out to a nice restaurant here Ronnie

My Girlfriend: or bought her some flowers

Me: That’s not how radiation or explosions work….

My Girlfriend: THAT’S NOT HOW ANYTHING WORKS

Me: I do love how matter of factly the two of them took this

“Oh look, being exposed to dangerous levels of radiation has fused us together

Well better put on a costume and fight crime”

My Girlfriend: IT WAS THE DONE THING

Black Canary snaps Firestorm out of his reminiscing…

My Girlfriend: “Were you having a flashback again?”

Me: “NO FLASHBACKS

$500 FINE”

Ollie is annoyed at Firestorm’s behaviour

Me: Ollie you are the LAST person who gets to judge someone for having a flashback

My Girlfriend: YOU HAD LIKE SEVEN SEASONS OF THE DAMN THINGS

Me: “I’m the only one who gets to have overly long origin flashbacks in THIS league”

Me: That and the fact they asked him to join the team in the most racist way possible

My Girlfriend: Do I even want to know?

Me: Trust me, even for the silver age it was B A D

No one came out of it looking good apart from Black Lightning himself

Red Tornado reflects on how the League has changed over time and how perhaps some of the team will have to make “Painful choices”

My Girlfriend: I feel like he’s reading a LOT into Green Arrow looking mildly annoyed

Me: Making some pretty big deductive leaps here Tornado

A short time later the team say their goodbyes to Firestorm for now, leaving him with Clark on a rooftop…

Me: “Just do your best Firestorm

And don’t, as a for instance, trap your friend inside your body for weeks at a time to cover up how you caused a mans death”

My Girlfriend: “NO PROMISES!”

Me: I feel like Clark will wish he worded his promise of help more carefully when Ronnie ends up calling him up for help over a flat tire

Clark departs with a final handshake and a “Welcome” and Firestorm is left suitably awe struck

Me: See Silver Age Superman…why can’t you be like that all the time instead of gaslighting Lois and torturing Jimmy Olsen

My Girlfriend: THEY KNOW WHAT THEY DID

We are informed it is a “Sober and thoughtful hero” who returns to his civilian ID of Ronnie Raymond

Me: Not to be confused with a drunk and thoughtless hero

My Girlfriend: That would be Ultimate Tony Stark

My Girlfriend: Wait so is he basically kidnapping Professor Stein every time he turns into Firestorm

Me: TECHNICALLY yes but he agrees to it after the fact so it’s all good

My Girlfriend: THAT’S PERFECTLY OKAY THEN

Also “Because he was unconscious when we became Firestorm the Prof never recalls anything that occurs”?

I’m

I’m not sure that makes sense

Me: As a certified Nuclear Man-ologist I can assure you this is absolutely scientifically accurate

Ronnie bundles the confused professor into a cab and tells the driver where to take him…

My Girlfriend: Professor Stein is taking all of this VERY calmly for someone who just found himself in a place he has no idea how he got to or why with someone he thinks he’s never met

Me: This happens to him so often he’s got used to it by now…

Ronnie is greeted by his concerned friends, girlfriend Doreen and regular pain in the ass Cliff Carmichael who have worrying news

My Girlfriend: So is everyone just going to ignore the fact that Rosco’s brother appears to be Eddie Munster…

Me: Maybe that’s why Doreen is staring at him like that in the second panel

My Girlfriend: That or she’s wondering who on earth dressed this child

The group decide to check out the Curious Case of the Runaway Rosco and head over to look into this Disco Disappearance followed by a reluctant Cliff who says that someone has to “Keep their noses clean”

My Girlfriend: Oh good for a minute I was worried we wouldn’t get to see more of his complaining

Me: WHAT A RELIEF

And so one quick subway ride later…

Me: A MAN leaving a club with a WOMAN?

YES THIS IS HIGHLY SUSPICIOUS

My Girlfriend: What could POSSIBLY be going on I wonder

Me: It must be something sinister

There’s no other way to explain a heterosexual man wanting to go off alone somewhere with a very beautiful woman he met at a club

My Girlfriend: A club where the DANCING NEVER STOPS apparently

Except for here, where the dancing has stopped and they are all standing stock still

Me: YES APART FROM THAT

“No one ever describes what happens up there”

Me: WHAT HAPPENS IN THE CHARON BUILDING STAYS IN THE CHARON BUILDING

My Girlfriend: They’re going to be so embarrassed when it turns out to just be a sex club

Me: I do have to wonder who keeps giving these buildings such absurdly sinister names

My Girlfriend: The Charon Building is located inbetween the Hotel Cortez and the Abaddon Hotel

Me: Just across the street from H.H Holmes Murder Castle

My Girlfriend: Designed by the same person who built the House on Haunted Hill

The group ask the woman why she’s so worried about Rosco and she replies it’s because “He’s the best dancer!”

Me: “If he had two left feet I wouldn’t give a damn if he was bleeding out in a ditch somewhere”

My Girlfriend: “I DON’T CARE IF YOU LIVE OR DIE

I WANNA SEE YA DANCE AND I WANNA SEE YA SMILE”

The group go to check things out but can’t find a way into the building….Carmichael not unreasonably suggests they just go home and let Rosco have a good time and is told to button it

My Girlfriend: “DAMN IT CLIFF STOP STANDING IN THE WAY OF OUR COCK BLOCKING”

Me: “We’re just doing a little light breaking and entering into private property, stop being such a square”

Ronnie heads off saying he’s going to look for another entrance…but actually he’s sneaking off to become FIRESTORM

Which leads to this moment…

My Girlfriend: Well that’s one way to get out of paying taxi fare

Me: Which is probably lucky for him honestly

For one thing I don’t know if you can take your wallet with you when your atoms are rearranged by Nuclear Magic

For another

Being a disgraced nuclear physicist most known for exploding a high schooler has NOT led to a lot of high paying jobs

My Girlfriend: UNDERSTANDABLE

And with the two fused together once more…

Me: Ronnie that’s not magic draining your willpower, you just think she’s hot

My Girlfriend: So wait she turned Rosco into a statue?

What the House of Wax is going on here

Me: We’ll find out in the very next issue

Where things get creepy and kooky

My Girlfriend: Mysterious and spooky?

Me: COULD BE

Me: IT’S MURDER ON THE DANCE FLOOR

My Girlfriend: And they better not kill the groove!

Me: I do love that the Satin Satan seems to travel in some kind of floating Pope Bubble

My Girlfriend: The Anti Pope Bubble

Our tale begins with…

My Girlfriend: You know, someone’s gonna have to pay for that window

Me: IT WASN’T EVEN LOCKED

Green Arrow is incredulous at Zatanna’s suggestion that a “Ghost” could be in the building

Me: First of all she never said ghost

Second of all YOU ARE ON A TEAM WITH A ROBOT, A SORCERESS AND AN ALIEN

My Girlfriend: Also you have met MULTIPLE ghosts

Me: You’re on first name terms with ghosts!

Zatanna performs a spell to reveal what lurks in the room…and a FIERY DEMON IS SUMMONED!

Me: Way to go there Zatanna

My Girlfriend: She did not plan this all the way through

Me:  Not only is it attacking them, it’s also shamelessly ripping off Superman’s heat vision!

My Girlfriend: INFERNAL COPYRIGHT INFRINGEMENT

Me: Also I love Red Tornado but I really don’t think he needed to use all those words to say “It’s big and on fire”

My Girlfriend: The writer was paid by the word

My Girlfriend: So this team has a spellcaster, a man who can juggle planets and a robotic elemental and their plan to stop this creature was “Arrows” and “Throwing a flammable piece of cloth over it” respectively

Me: THIS IS WHY BATMAN IS NORMALLY THE ONE WHO COMES UP WITH THE BATTLE PLANS

My Girlfriend: “You see what happens when I leave you people to your own devices”

Batman and Black Canary manage to distract the demon while Zatanna goes to work and…

My Girlfriend: That might have been sarcasm as the creature does appear to still be able too shoot eye beams out of its cage

Me: “I DID NOT THINK THIS THROUGH”

Me: The monster can still attack them but Green Arrow is too busy eye-fucking a woman’s photo right in front of his girlfriend to notice this…

My Girlfriend: WELL THAT CHECKS OUT

Though I’m sure that Dinah is eye fucking her as well

Me: It’s true and you should say it

My Girlfriend: “This nickname proves that a fashion model is in fact LITERALLY THE DEVIL”

Me: “IT’S THE ONLY THING THAT MAKES SENSE”

My Girlfriend: And somehow also the correct answer

Me: David Bowie called himself Ziggy Stardust, but he wasn’t actually from space, Bruce

My Girlfriend: OR WAS HE

Me: NO BABE

My Girlfriend: I HAVE THEORIES

Me: BABE NO

Their musings on whether a nickname means that this woman is literally the devil are interrupted by a security guard who bursts in with Ronnie’s concerned friends…and no word of a lie he TRIES TO SHOOT THE JUSTICE LEAGUE

Me: Oh my god who gave Paul Blart: Mall Cop here a gun

My Girlfriend: Is that even legal?

The guys basically a glorified doorman, why is he carrying a gun

Me: Maybe this actually took place in Texas, not New York

Green Arrow disarms this buffoon and we get…

Me: It took him THIS long to recognise that they were the League?

SERIOUSLY?

In this WELL LIT ROOM he didn’t recognise the most famous superhero team on earth?

My Girlfriend: Babe, he’s a security guard

That means he was too stupid to become a cop

Me: FAIR POINT

Doreen gives them a rundown on why they’re here, including the fact that their friend Ronnie vanished around the time they saw Firestorm show up

Me: “Strangely Ronnie often seems to go missing whenever Firestorm appears”

My Girlfriend: “SUCH A WEIRD COINCIDENCE”

Me: “Maybe he doesn’t like him or something”

They learn that both Firestorm and Ronnie are missing along with Rosco, he of the fabulous dance moves and statue like nature

And we get the best scene of the issue…

My Girlfriend: Did Bruce genuinely just check to see if Firestorm was hiding behind the curtains

DID WE REALLY JUST SEE THAT

Me: WE GENUINELY DID

My Girlfriend: “That wacky prankster is probably playing hide and seek while we were almost getting murdered I bet”

Me: Clark uses his x ray vision to confirm that he’s not lurking in the closet

My Girlfriend: One of the few members of the League who isn’t in the closet

The story is interrupted by some ads, one of which just has to be addressed

Me: …………

Is….

IS THAT LEONARDO DA VINCI

My Girlfriend: He was well noted for his love of Twinkies and his murderous hatred of other peoples happiness

And desire to destroy dams

Me: The terrifying truth that the history books don’t want you to know!

Back to the story, we learn that the League has found nothing

My Girlfriend: It’s good to know it took an entire superhero team, one of whom is the Worlds Greatest Detective, to search a medium size apartment and find absolutely nothing

Me: THIS IS NOT THE TEAMS PROUDEST MOMENT

They hit on the idea of questioning the fire demon and Zatanna casts a spell to try and make it reveal its secrets

Me: “Unfortunately it’s literally a monster made of fire so it’s not going to be able to tell us much”

My Girlfriend: “Not sure why we thought that would work”

Actually the demon does say one thing namely the word “Resorum” along with several other made up words…

My Girlfriend: It’s like the writer just smashed their fingers on the keys here

Me: “It’s totally a real demon language okay”

And with that…the demon EXPLODES

My Girlfriend: “God Cliff, you’re such a baby…scared of a little thing like a fiery demon from hell trying to murder us all before exploding into flames”

Me: Imagine letting something as minor as that bother you

My Girlfriend: RIDICULOUS

Zatanna reveals that she was able to learn that the demon was “Conjured by someone powerful and evil”

Me: “Wait hold on, the person who conjured a demon to kill us all…is EVIL?”

My Girlfriend: “I never would have seen that coming”

Me: HARD TO BELIEVE AND YET SOMEHOW TRUE

Zatanna also says that “Resorum” is a “Magical name for Hell” and that they’ll find Firestorm…IN HELL

Me: DUN DUN DUNNNNNNNNNNNN

My Girlfriend: WHAT A THRILLING DEVELOPMENT!

Or rather…

My Girlfriend: OH COME ON

THAT IS SUCH A COP OUT

Me: “We’ll find our friend IN HELL

And by Hell I mean a roller disco”

My Girlfriend: “They’re basically the same thing, honest”

Me: “Sorry if that last comment of mine was kind of a screw to the audience”

Zatanna senses an EVIL PRESENCE here but Ollie is not convinced though and…

Me: BEST

REACTION NOISE

EVER

My Girlfriend: I dearly want to know how you pronounce “AHHHHHUYH?”

Me: Ollie has seen a LOT of bullshit in his time as a superhero but this?

THIS IS WHERE HE’S DRAWING THE LINE

My Girlfriend: “Days like this I really miss when the Clock King was the strangest thing I’d ever seen”

Me: I think Clock King is still the strangest thing he’s seen

The steel soldiers attack the League and as the League wades into battle against them, Zatanna spots…

Me: DON’T KINKSHAME FIRESTORM

My Girlfriend: “Don’t worry Firestorm, we’ll rescue you from this peril!”

Me: “Actually could you all maybe leave and let me face this “Peril” on my own?”

My Girlfriend: “It’s much too perilous!”

Me: “I really think that I can handle a little bit of peril, honest”

My Girlfriend: HE IS TREMBLING WITH…fear

Yes fear >.>

Me: I would like to nobly offer myself in a hostage exchange

It will mean being bound and gagged and totally at the Satin Satan’s mercy but it’s a sacrifice I’m willing to make

My Girlfriend: You truly are the most noble of souls kitten

Me: I AM VERY SELFLESS YES

My Girlfriend: Also did Zatanna just say that this floating bondage ball is actually a normal feature of roller discos?

Me: SHE GENUINELY DID

I’ve never been to a roller disco but that…SOUNDS STRANGE TO ME

Me: “You live and work in modern day New York, you are clearly capable of talking normally…why are you speaking like a D&D villain?”

Me: “SILENCE FIRE HAIR

NOW MY MINIONS, SLAY THE MAN OF BATS AND THE WOMAN OF FISHNETS”

Superman offers to come to Zatanna’s aid but Zatanna has things well in hand as…

My Girlfriend: WHAT THE HELL ARE WE WATCHING HERE

Me: THE BEST SUPERHERO FIGHT EVER THAT’S WHAT

My Girlfriend: She summoned a COMBAT MAGNIFYING GLASS

Me: Greatest

Spell

Ever

Me: I mean she’s not wrong but also I’m pretty sure she also shouldn’t have been able to make chains out of “Starlight” either

My Girlfriend: It’s a bit late to start questioning the realism of this situation

Me: Right?

You’ve literally been turning disco dancers into evil statues with magic kisses…you are the last person who gets to say something is impossible

Firestorm breaks free and the battle intensifies!

Me: I’m pretty sure “Life” and “Existence” is the same thing

My Girlfriend: Feels like a needless distinction at best

Me: Also wait didn’t Firestorm figure out that she’d turned Rosco into a statue at the end of last issue?

My Girlfriend: Yes but not a LIVING statue

That’s a different sub-genre of magic statues

Me: Ahhhhh of course

Firestorm gets the idea of using his molecular powers to undo the mannequin-ing of these innocent souls and sure enough the blasts are able to turn them human again!

Me: Another tragedy averted by exposing people to high levels of radiation

My Girlfriend: Is there nothing it can’t do?

My Girlfriend: Red Tornado has correctly deduced that logic has absolutely no place in this tale

Me: AN ACCURATE SUMMARY

My Girlfriend: “There is no way the explanation for any of this nonsense is going to make a word of sense”

With the Satin Satan captured we get…

Me: HER POWER IS SUUUUUPPPPPPRREEEEEMMMEEEEEEE

Unless you have a larger than normal magnifying glass

My Girlfriend: HER ONE WEAKNESS

Me: “Curse you all for foiling my hastily thrown together evil scheme!”

Sabrina Sultress claims that she was being possessed by this demonic entity and using her for its evil plan to “Create an army of bodies for its demonic minions to inhabit and control”

My Girlfriend: So just so I’m clear

This demons plan was to possess a fashion model

To abduct horny disco dancers

To turn them into statues

To possess with demons

To make into an army

Me: THAT IS THE PLOT YES

My Girlfriend: Samantha can I ask a question?

Me: Shoot, babe

My Girlfriend: WHY DOES NOTHING ABOUT THIS STORY MAKE A DAMN BIT OF SENSE

And our baffling saga of mild peril comes to a close with

Me: “Well done team

Nothing has been resolved and the villain is going to go free to do future magic crimes!”

My Girlfriend: TRULY A GREAT DAY FOR THE FORCES OF JUSTICE

Me: And that legitimately was the last time we ever saw the Satin Satan

So this story was NEVER actually resolved

Is she actually evil?

Is she still possessed?

Is she just a regular supervillain and she faked all of this?

My Girlfriend: WHY WAS SHE KIDNAPPING DISCO DANCERS

Me: I’d kind of love if Justice League Dark brought her back as a villain for a future arc

My Girlfriend: Of course you would

Me: OBSCURE VILLAINS ARE MY JAM

Final Thoughts

Me: So babe what did you think of this spooky Halloween tale of the SATIN SATAN

My Girlfriend: I HAVE SO MANY QUESTIONS

Me: Did we learn anything from this story?

My Girlfriend: We learned not to go home with beautiful fashion models with vaguely sinister names

Me: I can’t make that promise and you know I can’t make that promise

My Girlfriend: I DO

Me: We also learned that radioactive meltdowns lead to nothing but positive results for all involved

My Girlfriend: Where would our world be without hard working scientists finding ways to irradiate the heroes of tomorrow

Me: A FRIGHTENING THOUGHT

My Girlfriend: I’m also pretty sure we learned that the writer of this book REALLY had a thing for Zatanna

Me: Oh he absolutely did

I mean it’s not quite as intense as Paul Dini’s love for her but then…whose is?

My Girlfriend: And we learned that starlight can be turned into chains…but is weak to magnifying glasses

Me: A very educational experience!

Happy Halloween Babe

My Girlfriend: HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ALL

#Let's Read Comics #DC #Comics #Sfw #Halloween

[bigskydreaming]

For the prompt, how about Dick deciding to try the museum curator thing again? It's probably one of my favourite jobs for him

Y’know what? I think we just found my new favorite Dick Grayson’s day-job headcanon.

Because I always did like that very brief period too, but all of a sudden, I’m thinking what if not just any museum, but a DC universe specific museum.....akin to the Flash Museum in Central City, but located in New York maybe, and dedicated to the history of superheroes as a whole, throughout the DC Earth’s history.

Imagine a museum along the lines of a specific Smithsonian Institute, or maybe more like one of the Balboa museums in San Diego that are focused around exhibits for kids and visitors from various schools and universities.......all geared towards the history of superheroes on Earth, as well as Earth’s own history in the context of its interaction with various other planets and civilizations, or different arcane dimensions, etc.

There are exhibits donated by Themyscira and Atlantis, and a whole wing dedicated to a fascimile of Earth’s position relative to other known galactic civilizations from Thanagar to Krypton and even Oa. As well as exhibits centering on Earth’s interactions with all of these. There’s a history of the Green Lantern Corps with displays profiling all known Earth GLs....not just the modern ones like Hal, Kyle, John, Guy, Jessica, Simon, etc, but GLs from centuries past. There’s a reconstruction of the Starheart and a Sentinel exhibit that links up with the Justice Society’s wing, and reconstructions of monuments made to Earth GLs on Oa itself, thus highlighting the role of various Earth heroes in galactic history. The Krypton exhibit has items donated by Superman, and tutorials on the Kryptonian language, history, etc, and there are walkthroughs of replicas of the spaceships that brought many of the alien heroes living on Earth here from their homeworlds.

Also an exhibit representing the future Legion of Superheroes, or at least the possibility of them, along with explorations into the various theories and methods of time travel....and maybe some displays from parallel Earths as well. (A nod to the fact that museums like this do exist in the time of the LOSH, but why not earlier?)

There are chronicles of various potential world-ending events and the specific heroes who saved the day each time, as well as memorials to heroes lost over the years......maybe some kind of garden or fountain where visitors who were bystanders at the sites of some of these great battles or who’d been saved by various heroes over the years can leave little notes or mementos of thank you or acknowledgment. 

There are replicas of the Arrow family’s trick arrows, and a hall dedicated to the many conspiracy theories that surround Gotham’s mysterious Batclan and which of them may or may not actually even be real. Etc, etc, etc.

And one of the primary curators of all this is one Dick Grayson, adopted eldest of Gotham’s Bruce Wayne, a known benefactor of the Justice League.....and thus its not really all that surprising that he grew up with a seeming fascination with the League and other heroes. He’s like the ultimate superhero fanboy, always happy to chatter anyone’s ear off about hero trivia, and his favorite thing is personally giving tours to the kids visiting the museum on class field trips - perks of the job, he grins at anyone who asks.

In an ironic twist that actually makes his job quite useful, both as a curator of superhero history AND a central figure in the superhero community himself......his position leads to him frequently being consulted by civilian authorities, governments, institutitions, or private individuals who have some kind of situation related to superhero or supervillain activity or which might require superhero involvement to address.....as its acknowledged that few people know more about superheroes than Dick Grayson, and even fewer seem as well connected to the superhero community as he does. If you have a question about superheroes or their history or past involvement with something, and he can’t answer it himself.....you still go to him anyway, as its a safe bet he knows who to call to get said answer.

Similarly, his job and his passion for superhero history also explains why a random civilian is so often in the company of various heroes like Troia, or Garth of Shayeris, whenever the ambassador from Atlantis is visiting the surface. Even explains how he met his one-time fianceé Starfire in the first place. There’s a representation of the Titans in one display, with the Nightwing replica deliberately off in its dimensions and proportions, and when giving tours, Dick’s been known to strike up a ridiculously exaggerated Superman pose right next to the Nightwing display. 

He tosses his hair dramatically and says: “Y’know, I’ve been told more than a few times that I actually look a lot like Nightwing myself. C’mon, you guys see the resemblance, right?”

Every time he does this, Bruce mutters something about the Clark Kent School Of Alter Ego-ing Badly, but Dick just rolls his eyes. Oh please, let’s go to the tape, he says. Bruce squints with foreboding, but Dick’s already pulled out his phone and queued up an old TMZ clip of “drunken” Brucie Wayne at some gala years ago pointing to an image of Batman and then to his own ass and loudly asking if the butts match.

“Yeah, keep trying to pin this one on Uncle Clark, Pops,” Dick laughs. “Like I really needed him to be a formative influence when it came to the “hiding in plain sight” approach.”

“I don’t remember that at all,” Bruce denies loftily. “It must have been Hush.”

Selina chooses the perfect moment to saunter by - but then again, all her entrances are artfully timed to be The Perfect Entrance. Its kinda her superpower. She peers at the phone screen for a second and then smiles nostalgically.

“Oh yes, I remember that night.” She pats Bruce consolingly on the arm and drifts off again. “It definitely wasn’t Hush. The butts did match.”

[tickle-bugs]

Justice League Headcanons

So...yeah. Blame @fickle-tiction and @fanficsandfluff but I can’t get JL out of my head. I know next to nothing in terms of canon and I only enjoy a handful of DC movies, so this is the beginning of what I am calling the BEU (Bug Extended Universe). 

Essentially, in the words of Nick Fury, ‘I recognize your canon, but seeing as it’s a stupid-ass canon, I have elected to ignore it :)’. A mish-mash of everything I’ve learned about DC through osmosis and my own personal vibe checks :)

This is absurdly long so everything is under the cut:

Clark Kent

- Superman? NO, Superdork. 

- He’s extremely clumsy. If he wasn’t as fast as a speeding bullet he’d get his ass handed to him ten times over. He has two left feet. 

- He has a sweet tooth like no one’s business. Lois once found him perched on the kitchen counter at 3 am eating the donuts she brought home from work. 

- Super playful and affectionate! King of bear hugs! Country boy I love youuuuuuu

- Curses like a sailor. Do you really think Clark ‘Smallville, Kansas’ Kent is wholesome? He stubbed his toe once and yelled FUCK so loud that the windows vibrated. Everyone who isn’t in the league thinks he’s a boyscout but the league knows the truth. 

- Forgets about his powers a lot. He has been known to run through walls/take doors off their hinges when he’s excited. 

- Goblin. He loves messing with Bruce and roping Barry into his schemes. 

- Clark being ticklish is actually smth that can be so personal? His laugh is so loud and he always goes ‘sorry’ and tries to be quieter but it does NOT work. He has flight instincts more than fight instincts so he often starts unconsciously floating away when he’s tickled it’s so cute. He giggles a lot and he’s not particularly embarrassed by it.

- Do NOT get me started on ler Clark I could write a dissertation. He is SO playful and teasy but also sweet? He definitely is the type to laugh along with his lee. He definitely allows any sort of retaliation/fighting back like,,, if you manage to crawl away it’s because he let you, and if he wants too, he can be very mean and immovable.

- Bruce and Barry are his favorite targets. He doesn’t go after Diana because, frankly, he doesn’t have a death wish. He loves to cause problems on purpose by squeezing Arthur’s side and then blaming it on Barry. (Hal Jordan isn’t in the DCEU Justice League but I wish he was...they’d be partners in crime <3)

Bruce Wayne

- Okay let’s clarify some things: he’s not actually an asshole. He can be abrasive and snarky but he’s more towards the sarcastic gruff side vs straight-up mean.

- A lot of people think he’s genuinely an asshole/disconnected rich guy because he has a terrible habit of zoning out/interrupting people? Bruce actually just has intense ADHD that he refuses to get diagnosed, no matter how much Alfred pushes him. He doesn’t care what people think about him and he’s mostly learned how to manage it, so he leaves it alone.

- That being said, his friendship with Barry has me :’) Yes, he thinks Barry’s a pest (affectionate), but they share a few science-related hyperfixations (robotics, chemical engineering, etc). They can frequently be found holed up in the Batcave with a week’s worth of food and caffeine, and they’re just....tinkering. Watching them at work is amazing because as much as they annoy each other, they respect each other :)

- He’s 100% a cat person. He doesn’t have a problem with dogs, he just prefers cats. He feeds the strays that hang out around the Manor all the time...

-...which Alfred begs him not to do, because Bruce is severely allergic. He thinks he can power through the allergies until one of the stray cats does the face-headbump thing and he’s incapacitated emotionally and physically for the rest of the day. 

- He severely restrains his emotions but like...catch him on a good day or in a good mood and he’ll smile and laugh, especially in friendly company. He just generally believes in maintaining a poker face so no one can read him. 

- Not to be disrespectful but...thighs. I am Looking. 

- Bruce has a wonderful laugh. He’s not much of a giggler tbh but he has this open, clear, slightly scratchy kinda laugh (his voice is permanently hoarse from the Batman Voice). It’s so lovely. He has a habit of covering his mouth bc he’s embarrassed of his smile but if he finds something very funny he’ll laugh openly. 

- Thee Batman is ticklish and he...doesn’t hate it? Like of course he protests ten ways from Sunday but he more minds the ‘guys stop you’re ruining my dark and brooding facade’ bit. He hates being teased though and he will throw hands. 

- Circling back to the emotions thing, he’s very good at controlling his reactions, which means he has thoroughly convinced everyone he’s not ticklish. Except Clark, stupidly perceptive Clark, because he can hear Bruce’s heartbeat and see the way he clenches his jaw to avoid smiling. 

Diana Prince

- WIFEY!!!!! 

- Diana is hilarious okay? She’s just...so fucking funny. Her jokes never miss. You wouldn’t think she’s the quippy type, but she is, and she’s damn good at it. In a distant alternate universe, Peter Parker senses a rival. 

- Loves fresh fruit, but especially strawberries? She makes frequent trips to the local farmer’s market. 

- She also has a raging sweet tooth. She and Clark work together to steal sweets and buy snacks. 

- Will not back down from a challenge, ever. It’s kinda a problem.

- She has such a sweet laugh :’) It’s so bouncy and melodic and she scrunches her nose. She WILL snort and it’s the cutest thing ever. Yes she’s ticklish, but no one gets more than five seconds of laughter out of her before she turns the tables. 

- World’s meanest ler. Not only is she frequently on the prowl, she is near-ruthless, especially if she’s been baited. Once she sets her sights on someone, she won’t rest until she’s heard their laugh. 

- Diana is very mischievous and loves hearing her friends laugh. It’s impossible to be in her vicinity for more than five minutes without at LEAST a few pokes. She is not above just,,, random tickles either. 

- Nails. That is all. 

Arthur Curry

- Why are his tiddies always out? Someone please explain.

- The most targeted for pranks ever. Diana especially. Something about him just attracts goblinism. 

- He’s coming for Clark’s bear hugger crown. He picks people up so often that they’re just used to it now. 

- Playfighting and roughhousing is his love language. He absolutely loves wrestling with anyone who’ll humor him. He and Diana frequently tussle because they’re both good sports about it (Bruce is a little bit of a sore loser. Just a smidge). 

- Thinks he can get away with anything, which is decidedly not true. He just nopes his way out of the room and everyone’s like D:< get back here and atone for your sins!!! But Arthur’s already in the Pacific Ocean. 

- I like to think he’s ticklish, just not super ticklish y’know? He probably has a couple hidden spots that make him lose it though. Like he’ll definitely laugh and fall over, but he can and will fight back. Oh boy, will he fight back. 

- Batman: No fear.

Diana and Arthur sneaking up behind him:

Batman: One fear. 

- Y’know that picture of Jason Momoa sneaking up behind Henry Cavill on the red carpet? That is extremely relevant. Arthur loves to sneak up behind people and just...take them down. 

- Thinks Barry is annoying (affectionate) and the two of them are constantly chasing each other around. Barry is fast but Arthur’s strong (and wayy less ticklish than Barry)

- Physical affection!! He always has his arms around someone’s shoulders or something. He’s just a touchy kind of guy :)

Barry Allen

- Speedy boy! ADHD king! Sometimes his thoughts are also at superspeed, which means he talks way too fast and no one can understand him? But Bruce speaks fluent Barry and he translates often (though not without a labored sigh beforehand). 

- Physically affectionate but casual about it? He likes to play with people’s hands while he’s talking, bump shoulders with whoever he’s next to, etc. He doesn’t really realize he does it either. It’s not uncommon for him to be talking to Clark or Diana and they just...unconsciously give him their hand before he reaches for it.

- Okay so y’know how Bruce feeds the strays? Who do you think lets them in the first place? Barry has tried to adopt every stray he comes across, and when Alfred inevitably says no, Barry runs them to the shelter himself :’)

- Gifting is his love language!!! If he sees anything that remotely reminds him of his friends, he brings it to them. 

- He likes to hang out with Victor because he’s quiet, but doesn’t mind when Barry rambles, which he tends to do quite often. Barry will catch himself rambling and trail off, but Victor will encourage him to keep going, because he’s listening. 

- Thee Pillsbury Doughboy. Just these high-pitched, bouncy, frantic giggles that only get worse and eventually morph into cackles. He hiccups a lot too :’)

- Okay so he’s not a flailer but he’s super squirmy. Barry will cling onto his ler’s arms just to hold onto something. He kicks his legs too (he does this when he’s not being tickled either, if he laughs and he’s sitting somewhere he kicks). He also just constantly tries to crawl away. If he isn’t pinned down he will drag himself to safety. He also has a habit of curling up :’)

- Absolutely invented the speed-tickle. He actually doesn’t often use his powers (unless he’s chasing down Clark, because Clark isn’t above breaking the sound barrier to escape). He’s just got incredible hand-eye coordination and precision. His hands will be absolutely everywhere and he is so teasy about it. 

- Tries not to start fights he can’t finish, but he always gets roped into Clark’s mischief and gets targeted with revenge tickles. 

- He has tickled Clark once. It was incredible, amazing, showstopping, spectacular. Literally his crowning achievement. Did Clark absolutely destroy him afterwards? Yes, but it was so worth it. 

Victor Stone

- Quiet and stoic, but he’s always preferred listening and interjecting with a joke or two. 

- Closest with Barry and Diana, but he’s making an effort to bond with everyone.

- Unfortunately not ticklish :( I like to think soft touches on his face will make him smile and lean away, but it’s not going to get a laugh from him.

- Doesn’t often get involved in tickly shenanigans, but when he does, he surprises everyone with how much fun he has. A different, warmer side of him comes out when he’s among his friends.

- He’s a hugger! Definitely awkward about it, but he loves hugs and just...holding his friends. 

- He collects hoodies. He can’t really feel them when he’s wearing them, but he likes them and the idea of it. Barry seems to slip him a new hoodie every week. Victor has no idea where he gets them from but he’s not complaining. 

- He is an enabler. He will look at Bruce like :| “no, I don’t know where Barry and Clark are, nor do I no what they’re planning” But they’re literally right behind Bruce, about to squeeze his sides. 

- That being said, he won’t do that with Diana. If she asks where they are, he’ll subtly nod his head in their direction. Even in jest, he will never lie to her. Which makes him Thee person to avoid when Diana’s on her mischievous streaks.

#my headcanons #this is an academic paper #you can see me get more scatterbrained as I go on it's great #anyways welcome to the BEU #dc #justice league #...bugstice league? #(nice) #ticklish!bruce wayne #ticklish!clark #ticklish!diana #ticklish!arthur curry #ticklish!barry #bruce wayne #clark kent #Diana Prince #arthur curry #barry allen #victor stone

[ufonaut]

Complain about fandom portrayal of Connor hawke and Ollie

YES BABEY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! EXCUSE THE INCOMING ESSAY

there's nothing more profoundly baffling to me than the general fandom's refusal to understand that oliver queen/green arrow is a household name on par with the justice league trinity (no claims of obscurity here, please) and that he's textually canonically explicitly -- whatever you wanna call it -- a complete and utter asshole for the vast majority of his existence between 1960 and 1995. neither of those are things that stop him from being an unimaginably compelling character (because what is there to explore with a version as sanitized as the fandom would like him to be?) or a hero as niceness is a prerequisite for neither

oliver is an alcoholic, has cheated on his longtime girlfriend multiple times, has a concerning predilection for younger women to the point that his best friend goes "you have food in your fridge older than her, hal. who are you, ollie?" at himself upon finding a seventeen year old attractive (brave & the bold 2007 #2), abandoned his ward, paid a woman he got pregnant to get an abortion and abandoned his son over and over again (by dragon's blood connor is very much hoping to get an audience with ollie via joining an archery competition because there's no other way to get in touch). these are facts! not opinions or headcanons or anything other than facts! my one & only desire is for these things to be acknowledged by the fandom and reconciled with ollie's heroism because nowhere else have i seen such blatant denial of the text beyond the worst of the batfam stans. believe it or not, it's very much possible to be a good character and not that great of a person

as for connor, i think the fandom's greatest crime is its insistence on connor's inclusion in the """"arrowfam"""""" when his tenure in green arrow 1988, connor hawke: dragon's blood 2007 and even the likes of convergence: green arrow #1-2 (which is not canon but firmly based on it and thus reaches obvious conclusions) make for a very good case study of precisely why he'd feel excluded from ollie's so-called found family after he's been repeatedly abandoned by him. in fact, and this is another thing that goes unspoken in fandom circles, i still can't believe there's no love for connor's actual found family (master jansen & eddie fyers) in a place so rife with love for that particular trope. the immensity of connor, who's grown up in an ashram and thinks himself out of step with the world, finding a safe space with these men he's come to see as father figures shouldn't go unacknowledged!

beyond that, i think connor's just as often portrayed by the fandom as naturally very kind, loving, calm & collected. he is all of those things, of course, but it's an active choice and effort on the part of a very angry young man who could just as well lash out at the world and be completely in the right for it. the choice of it is exactly what makes connor such an absolute delight to read

#asks #anon

[heraldofzaun]

This is my “Viktor has never been a stereotypical evil villain, you guys are just mean” post.

Hi. Well. That says it all, really, but I guess I should elaborate. I think that Viktor has always been a victim of society [cue Joker meme], it’s just that what society has shifted over the course of his lore update.

With new lore, it’s very clearly Piltover casting him out for his (in my opinion, pretty unethical from the get-go) ideas on free will/worker safety/etc. and that subsequently making him worse. But with his previous lore - what I run off of on this blog - I’ve seen a lot of commentary about how he’s always just been “evil”, or that his motivations weren’t defined, etc. And while I can agree that his old lore certainly has less of a word count (5x less, actually) and doesn’t make his motives crystal-clear, it’s just not true that his original incarnation was just a villainous scientist. (Nor is it true that he was perceived as one by his old fans!) It takes a little bit of looking at Blitzcrank’s lore, and the Journal of Justice (hey, remember that?) to see, but it’s there... So, here goes. I’m sorry for how long this ended up being (2k words!) - it ended up touching on a lot more than just Viktor.

Viktor’s always been stolen from. (Except for Blitzcrank’s newest lores, which contradict Viktor’s new lore, which... That’s a topic for another time.) It’s always been Professor Stanwick Pididly (now Professor Stanwick) who’s done the stealing - originally, he was a professor at Zaun’s “prestigious College of Techmaturgy”. In new lore, he’s a professor at an unnamed academy in Piltover. I think the best way to track the new/old changes is bullet-points, rather than writing this all out. Tumblr doesn’t allow T-charts, sadly.

Professor Pididly in old lore:

Zaunite professor.

Stole Blitzcrank (well, the accolades for developing Blitz’s sentience) from Viktor and Viktor’s doctoral team. (While this is headcanon, I’ve always assumed that Stanwick was Viktor’s (and Viktor’s team’s) doctoral advisor. I can’t quite imagine how else he’d pull off stealing a group project like that.) Viktor subsequently withdrew from the college and “barricaded himself in his private laboratory”. (Which is his house in my personal take, because really - what sort of doctoral student can afford a lab?)

Blitzcrank’s case reached Zaun’s legal system, resulting in a “legal maelstrom” (Blitz’s original lore) that ended with Stanwick presumably being legally declared Blitzcrank’s creator.

Blitzcrank’s lore states that “most now know the truth” in regards to who his creator is. This is important for later, so stick that in your back pocket.

Pididly is referred to as “Professor Pididly” in JoJ issues 3, 18, and 23, which are given the dates of August of 20CLE, March of 21 CLE, and June of 21 CLE.

Side note: According to Orianna’s judgment, which is dated May of 21 CLE - stay with me here, it’ll make sense - Blitzcrank entered the League “years before”. As League at this time was mostly running in time with the real world, this makes sense - Blitzcrank was a 2009 champion and Orianna was released in 2011. Judgments seem to be dated to a few days before a champion’s release, in order to tie with the lore - one had to be “Judged” before made a champion... but I’m rambling. Anyways, years before, back pocket.

Is referred to as “Chairman Pididly” in JoJ issue 27, dated August of 21 CLE. “Chairman” seems to be a title given to those in political power in Zaun. Another example is Chairman Magnus Dunderson, Zaun’s “Chief Executive” (issue 5). (I could’ve sworn that there is canonically a “Board of Executives” in old lore Zaun, but scrubbing through the JoJ on the wiki hasn’t turned it up - just Blitzcrank’s lore mentioning the “Council of Zaun”. Maybe it was fanon? Anyways.) Back pocket!

Also stole some work from Viktor in order to revive Urgot. Urgot’s revival was reported on in issue 3 of the JoJ, and the confirmation that it was from Viktor’s work is in Viktor’s original lore.

Professor Stanwick (Pididly? I feel like they ditched his last name because it was “too silly”, also because Stanwick sounds British-adjacent anyways and that’s Piltover’s “thing” - but anyways) in new lore:

Piltovian professor.

Stole Blitzcrank from Viktor alone, who made the robot to help clean up a specific chemical spill. Viktor went to Zaun for a few weeks and came back to find that Stanwick had “held a symposium on Blitzcrank and presented Viktor's research as his own”. Viktor subsequently continued on his studies, culminating with him later being expelled for “violating basic human dignity”. Viktor returns to a laboratory that he had in Zaun.

Blitzcrank’s case is solely a university matter. Viktor petitions Jayce to help support his claim, but Jayce is Jayce and doesn’t help out. The “matter [is] decided in Professor Stanwick’s favor”.

Blitzcrank’s lore doesn’t really say anything about if people know that Viktor made him (them, technically, but Riot doesn’t get to make the robot non-binary), but I guess it’s implied in the 3rd iteration? (That would be the first new one, after the IoW retcon making most champions’ 2nd lores being the same lore with any reference to the titular League of Legends removed.) He works with Viktor in that one. It doesn’t fit with Viktor’s updated lore at all, actually, because it mentions Stanwick absolutely zero times. (A post for another day...)

Has nothing to do with Urgot, since Urgot’s different now.

So, the general plot of “professor rips off a student” is there, it’s just got an added layer of “professor rips off a foreign/out-group student” in new lore to tie into the overarching idea of Piltover exploiting Zaun. (Is Zaun considered foreign? Yes? No? It’s sort of textually implied sometimes to be another city, but can it actually be when it’s physically underneath Piltover? Is the metaphor in new lore a class thing, then? Is it both? Am I supposed to take Viktor’s Russian accent into account when reading this text? I don’t know.) Anyways, so far so... same, in the broad strokes. Unless Viktor’s villainy in old lore is specifically because someone from his city ripped him off, I don’t know how you can compare new/old lore and say that old painted him as a villain.

But what about the everything else I put there? We’re getting there - that’s part of Viktor’s in-universe stuff. I’m taking a quick detour out of universe, to Jayce’s very first lore...

Which had Viktor stealing a techmaturgical device from Jayce. While I can’t cite this, sadly - thank you, Riot deleting the old forums and me not having the patience to look through archives at the moment - there was a backlash around this on the forums. Why would Viktor, a character who’d been stolen from, steal in turn? So Jayce’s second lore, the one that most people were familiar with before the new lore update, was made. Now Viktor stole a crystal after trying to partner with Jayce, Jayce was less well-established as an inventor, he had a bit more character... All good things. (Also, this is probably where the new lore direction of them being former college colleagues come from.)

Also, as an aside: this is the first use I can see of crystals specifically being described as arcane power sources... The only other discussion of magical crystals was the Brackern... which was then merged into magical crystals having to be from the Brackern... Which means that...

But anyways! Clearly Viktor fans didn’t see him as a villain in 2012, or at least not one that would victimize others in the same way that he’d been hurt. They made such a fuss about it that Jayce’s lore was changed to paint Viktor more sympathetically! (When’s the last time that there’s been that much backl- oh. It’s Seraphine again. Anyways.) So, again, Viktor’s perception as an evil scientist mostly seems to have come from people who weren’t really familiar with his lore. So... case closed?

Except that I also want to talk about in-universe things! Everything that I told you to put in your back pocket! Because this post is already over a thousand words and I have thrown myself firmly into this vortex.

Viktor’s victimization by society [Joker meme] is actually probably worse in old lore, which is a fact that I think has been pretty overlooked. While new lore Viktor gets kicked back down to Zaun and gets his work stolen in academia - with Stanwick presumably never being questioned on whether or not he made Blitzcrank, because there’s that whole “Zaunites are bad” thread that is both in and out of universe... Old lore Viktor sure does get it worse, although I admit that this requires some interpretation of canon. His thing with Blitzcrank was, again, a “legal maelstrom” - and with Blitzcrank being considered a Zaunite celebrity before this court case, it seems relatively easy/logical to infer that this maelstrom was a very public case.

So all of Zaun gets to see Viktor crash and burn in court. I’d say that’s a bit worse than just academia seeing it, as is the case in new lore.

And then there’s Blitzcrank’s lore flat-out saying that “most now know the truth” about who made him. (While this lore does predate Viktor’s existence - isn’t it odd to think about a Blitzcrank made by a faceless team of generic doctoral students, rather than Viktor... and a faceless team of generic doctoral students? - I see no reason not to take it as canonical for Viktor’s original lore. There’d been minor lore touchups before, so if Riot wanted Viktor’s creation of Blitzcrank to be an unknown... they could have edited Blitzcrank’s lore.) But Viktor’s still on the fringes, and nothing in his lore (which, again, was written years after Blitzcrank’s) seems to acknowledge that by the time he enters the League we have confirmation, date-wise, that it’s been years since the truth came out. (Orianna Judgment, etc.) That’s to say: people knowing that Viktor made Blitzcrank does nothing for him - he gets no apologies or anything like that.

Of course, if you take League lore as happening concurrently and nix the Judgments and the League, I guess that this is tenuous - but working within the framework of when he was released, it seems clear to me that the implication of all this lore is (whether it was intended by Riot to be read this way or not) that no one in Zaun cares that Viktor was stolen from. It’s an open secret. No one’s seeking justice for him. But it gets worse...!

So, it’s generally known that Stanwick didn’t make Blitzcrank by the time that the JoJ is running. And he’s just a professor for most of the run of that part of the lore, until... Issue 27. In which he becomes Chairman Pididly, someone who is now implied to have political power. (I have to assume he gets the position due to the political goodwill from Noxus that his revival of Urgot must have brought Zaun, but that’s just interpretation.) But! Even though most people know that Stanwick didn’t make Blitzcrank - that he stole Blitzcrank - he ends up not losing his university job (he’s still Professor Pididly for most of the JoJ, after all) but... gaining political office!

All of this is to say that Zaun is so crooked that you can have the fact that you stole from someone and ruined their life revealed... and get a promotion to government! You can shatter an idealistic man who had a “hope to better society” and make him into someone like the Machine Herald and face absolutely zero repercussions. I think that that is significantly worse than how new lore Viktor’s victimization by Piltover consisted of an academia-only dispute that left him with just some bitterness... New Viktor was, after all, kicked out of Piltovian academia for ethics violations, not for Blitzcrank.

Everything surrounding old lore Viktor is a bit harder to piece together, since you have to look through a few lores and make a few inferences, which is why I think that people don’t realize exactly how bad he had it... (That and time erasing memories, or people being new to the fandom, or people not being interested in Viktor, or...) But he had it bad, and I’m honestly disappointed that we never got to explore much of Zaun’s particular brand of corporate corruption in canon. Now they’re the perpetual underdogs, both victims and villians, and Riot isn’t quite sure how to write them beyond constant exploitation from Piltover. (Even the chem-barons have taken somewhat of a backseat lately in new lore, from what I’ve seen - Piltover seems to be the primary cause of Zaun’s ills, because the combined region is now an upper city/lower city metaphor about class. The chem-barons just seem to be written as a result of Piltover’s ignoring of Zaun - because Zaun seems to be more of an undercity than a sovereign city or state, but that varies depending on whatever piece of lore you’re reading and... Another post, another time.)

So. TL;DR: Viktor’s always been a character who was victimized by a city, be it Zaun or Piltover. Viktor’s always been a character more complex than just a maniacal villain, although it takes more work to see that in his old lore as compared to his new. (His new pretty much screams “we are trying to make him and Jayce morally grey”, after all.) This victimization is arguably worse in old lore, as it’s implied that he went through a very public legal case that ended with Stanwick taking credit for Blitzcrank. In addition to that, Stanwick’s subsequent shift to politics implies that Zaun is so corrupt that most everyone knowing that he’s a thief isn’t an issue at all. He’s untouchable.

Viktor’s always been the result of an idealistic man being crushed by a society that doesn’t care for him and his dreams. That’s nothing new.

#headcanons | beneath the mask #worldbuilding | a smog shrouded city #//lightly seasoned with 'i have my qualms about new lore' seasoning. #//all quotes are from respective lores. i am not fully citing them because if i use apa format for a league meta post i'll simply expire. #//oh also fun fact ionians are referred to as 'peaceniks' by zaunites in that same JoJ issue i pulled the dunderson info from. #//which is cool because that's somewhat canon info (other than zaun being german for fence and some other vague name choices) that... #//zaun was probably intended to be somewhat eastern european flavored from the getgo. so. hc validation. #//admittedly the nik suffix as it is used there is an english variant borrowed from russian/yiddish so... you could argue against me i guess #//but i think that's a much further stretch than my interpretation. anyways i've rambled more than enough. #//you can tell where i started getting super conversational here + when i stopped caring about if i stuck to 'stanwick' or 'pididly'

[anothertimdrakestan]

Damijon Christmas Present!

FOR THE DAMIJON SECRET SANTA I HAD... @nymph-patt

dear nymph:

hi love! i haven’t written in a fat minute and i’m a little rusty so bear with me hehehe. i hope you have a wonderful holiday season! all my love -elle!

I’ve got a fluff christmas fic and a lil headcanon for ya! 

Merry Stress-mas

“You can’t plan Christmas like a battle strategy Dami,” Jon groaned as Damian wheeled a whiteboard into their living room. “Actually, I’ve found it to be quite similar. Pay attention Kent, I know sticking to the plan has never been your strong suit.” Damian’s foot was tapping like crazy, Jon noted his clear anxiousness- needless to say Damian wasn’t the holiday type. Makes it a million times harder when it’s your first Christmas together as a couple. 

*super-couple. 

Jon gasped as Damian flipped the whiteboard like a school teacher, revealing meticulously drawn out plans mapped in expo-marker. “We start with my family, we stay until Jason is ten shots in, after that Christmas always becomes a nightmare so we head out. With your super speed it’ll be only an 14 minutes 37 second trip to your family where we stay for the majority of the night. At the end you rush us back to Gotham to console Dick after Bat-Christmas fails as always. Our emergency word is tyrannosaurus should anything go wrong at the drop we flee. Any questions?” Damian was flying through the plans, pointing at bulleted lists and analyzing possible flaws. 

Jon took a deep breath, a smile creeping over his face. “I didn’t think you’d care so much about our first Christmas together with our families, it’s kind of sweet.” Lazily he reached for Damian, clinging to his back while Dami shook his head, mumbling as he edited the board. “Not really our first Christmas Kent and I definitely do not care about family tt,” Jon didn’t reply, he just smiled into the crook of Damian’s neck.

“Our suits bring down our aerodynamic potential so I’ve taken the liberty of adjusting our arrival time to 15 minutes 43 seconds. Does that sound accurate?” Jon hummed in response as he straightened Damian’s tie, it was already perfect but he’d take any excuse to get closer to Dami. “Ready my love?” Jon glanced at Damian who was checking his watch. “Yes.” Damian responded, absent mindedly clasping Jon’s hand as they made their way to the mansion. 

“DAMI’S HERE!” Steph’s screech announced. She was hanging off the banister as she stole popcorn pieces from the massive tree. “Wonderful- Miss Brown I must ask you don’t eat the decorations tonight, have some festivity,” Alfred shook his head as he made his way to Jon. “Magnificent of you to join us Master Kent, I assume you will also be heading to your family’s festivities as well?” Jon opened his mouth but Damian answered first. “Yes Pennyworth, we plan on just saying for hors devours,” his curt reply brought a knowing smile to Alfred’s lips. “Always planned with you Master Damian,” his accent was playful making Jon chuckle. 

Dick descended the stairs, Damian groaned at his bright green and red striped suit, Jon couldn’t help but laugh either. “Hellllooo super boyfriends! Are-You-Readyyyy-For-Tonight!” Dick practically skipped towards the two, pulling them into a tight hug before Damian could slip away. “We won’t be long Grayson we must attend the Kent family Christmas too,” Damian nodded curtly, shifting closer to Jon who got the message and moved forward into the living room. 

“Actually, where are all the bat-siblings? And where did Steph run off to?” Jon noticed no one was around but Alfred who was preparing something delicious in the kitchen. Dick began chuckling, a devilish smile spreading across his face. “Oh, everyone is down in the batcave. C’mon.” Damian looked taken-aback but Jon was never to shocked by batfamily-antics. 

The two followed Dick to the secret door. “Now, we heard from a little super birdy [Dick winked at Jon who was now openly grinning] that you were a little nervous about having to deal with two Christmas’ this year, so we felt it’d be easier for everyone if we just-” Dick popped open the door to a winter wonderland of a batcave. A large table was put out, filled with their family members. “Merry Christmas!” A chorus of laughter broke out as Damian’s jaw dropped. 

At the table were the batfam, Kents, and even a couple speedsters littered around. All were laughing and smiling at one another. It was the biggest family gathering Jon has seen ever. “No need for crazy plans my love, just enjoy tonight with everyone,” Jon whispered to Damian as he scanned the room. “I- How did you- Thank you,” Damian settled on the last words of praise for the wonderful man who made every single day better. “No need for thanks, I’d get you the world if you wanted it, but for now let’s have a very Merry Christmas!” Jon took off towards his family and Damian would help but feel the corners of his lips betray him with a smile. Heart full he made his way down to his family.

“JASON DO NOT FLIRT WITH KARA SHE’S OFF LIMITS!”

“WALLY DID YOU EAT ALL THE COOKIES ALREADY?”

“BRUCE, CLARK, STOP FIGHTING OVER WHO GOT THE OTHER THE BETTER GIFT. YOU’RE BOTH RICH!”

very merry indeed. 

~

Okay so I haven’t absorbed much batfam content at all for weeks so hopefully my spin on the HC is still cute : )

I don’t think Jon gets enough credit for how observant he is. 

Too often Jon is forgotten, the second super boy, the sidekick, the boyfriend, the man who left everyone for space. 

It’s true, technically. But Jon is so keen at reading those around him, especially the un-readable Damian Wayne that I would argue it’s a super skill in of itself.

He gets it from his mother you know, Superman was always a little dense, but, though no one believes it, he always had Lois to help him out. Too often the quieter, smarter, more analytical side gets forgotten and that’s no different with Jon. His friends don’t see the way he checks up on them, taking in their facial expressions and reading them to know the right thing to say at the right time to help them out. They don’t realize he spent whole days memorizing their heart beats and their breaths to know if they’re ever in peril. And they don’t see the way he looks at them so fondly, beyond grateful they’re in his life.

Lois sees it.

She saw it when Jon met Damian. 

A young boy mesmerized by the wittiness and strength in the human boy. The greatest irony, the Superboy more human than the murder weapon now called “Robin”. But the two hit it off almost instantly- though Damian may not agree to that last bit. 

Lois knew Jon adored Damian, every deep red was “Robin Red” every Wayne Ent. building they walked past brought up stories of his adventures with the youngest Wayne, every Justice League trip meant begging for his dad to send him to Gotham for the weekend while he was out. He was young, but Lois knew a pair of soulmates when she saw them. 

There were these nights when they were teens. Jon would burst out of bed and rush to his mother. He never needed to say anything. There was this look in his eyes, Damian needs me. “Go” she’d always whisper, pressing a quick kiss to his forehead thinking back to when Clark would do the same for her. 

She remembers the frantic December weeks Jon spent toiling on Damian’s Christmas gift. “What do I give a trillionaire who has the world?” Jon would whine and mope around the house for any semblance of inspiration. 

Your heart Jon, all he wants is your love. Lois always thought to herself, she was quite aware of the two boy’s growing infatuation with each other, her husband was always slower in the “feelings” department and if he was slow she imagined Bruce was a damn sloth. So, she let the boys feel safe in her presence. Damian slowly spent more time at her home when Clark was out, she grew to have a sort of friendship with Damian. He’d comment on whatever news article she recently wrote, endure a three second reply and be on his way. She was always astounded at how up to date he was on all her pieces. 

Lois was always proud of the love Jon showed Damian. She’d be the first to tell Bruce he needed to hug his damn kids, but there was a special kind of caring Jon held only for Damian. A love woven only for the two of them. Like an invisible string linking them no matter where in the universe the other was at, there was a friendship, a kindness, a passion, a love.

Overtime, Jon’s analysis of Damian led him to his own feelings. And over an even longer period of time Damian discovered his own. Jon never stopped caring, he never stopped worrying, and he never stopped loving. 

Those, are the parts of Superman that Damian, and the world, need most. 

~

Merry Christmas! <3

#damijon #jondami #shoutout whelm for putting this together u rock #damian wayne #jon kent #damian wayne x jon #damian x jon #damian wayne x jon kent #batfam #batfam christmas #batboys #batboys christmas #lois lane #superboy #superboy headcanon #damijon headcanon #jon kent headcanon

[speedprofessor]

THE DEFINITIVE CANON REWRITES POST

     I have been writing Eobard for long enough that a lot of things has changed and shifted over the years and his canon on the blog really has become truly unrecognizable from the show. So if you came here expecting a canon compliant Eobard, you will be severely disappointed. So this post will hopefully be your handy dandy guide to all the retcons and divergences I have from all the seasons. 

     A final point of note is that a lot of my canon is shared with @isjustice​ as we are exclusives and I highly recommend you check out her season rewrites to get a better idea of the whole picture.

     TL:DR -Seasons one, two and the beginning of three are canon as shown, rest of season three is not acknowledged. -Legends of Tomorrow is heavily rewritten. -Legends: Eobard in charge of the Legion of Doom is in fact Hunter Zolomon before his appearance in Flash season two. Real Eobard begrudgingly teams up with the Legends to stop him, he does “die” at the end of the adventure. -Crisis on Earth X is absolutely NOT CANON. He instead teams up with the Justice Syndicate from Earth 3 to crash the WestAllen wedding because he is petty like that. -Eobard plotline of season 5 is canon, rest is not. -Crisis on Infinite Earths is HEAVILY rewritten. Eobard assumes the role of Harbinger, during the events of the crossover he and Barry make amends and he helps the heroes defeat the Anti-Monitor. -Post Crisis is fully canon divergent. Eobard becomes Professor Zoom and is counted among the Founders of the League. 

IN DEPTH BREAKDOWN:

FLASH SEASON THREE:

-Flashpoint lasts approximately six months, Eobard is still imprisoned and is keeping Barry company. Trying to be the voice of reason and make Barry revert the changes. -Flashpoint overall is a lot more fleshed out and expanded upon. Atlanteans and Amazonians, once only myths, now exist in the world and are at war with one another. -Oliver Queen has been murdered by The Condiment King. -The Atlantean - Amazonian War reaches a fever pitch and causes the destruction of the United Kingdom, upon realizing the true consequences of his actions, Barry finally lets Eobard out to ‘finish what he started’. -Upon killing Nora Allen and entering the Speed Force to take Barry home, Flashpoint!Eobard’s memories are merged with that of his season one self, leading to the restoration of Eobard Thawne proper.  -Alchemy and Cobalt Blue are the villains for the rest of season three. Savitar!Barry does not exist. -Cobalt Blue is Flashpoint Eddie Thawne who remembers that timeline and is bitter about it. Read more about it here.

LEGENDS OF TOMORROW:

-Eobard, upon attempting to run back home, is alerted to the existence of Black Flash Racer, who is an extension of the Speed Force that wants to correct the mistake that is Eobard’s paradoxical existence. -He starts running through history to find a solution to his problem, during which he discovers that there is another Eobard Thawne operating with a group called Legion of Doom. -This Eobard that is part of the Legion of Doom is in fact Hunter Zolomon, before his season two story arc in the Flash, masquerading as Eobard so his own identity is still kept a secret. -Real Eobard teams up with the Legends so the Legion of Doom doesn’t get his hands on the Spear of Destiny. -He does want the Spear for himself just to fix his paradoxical existence, but he has no desire to ‘rule’ the world. -Most of that season can happen as normal just know that ‘Eobard’ in that season is not actually Eobard -In the end, Eobard chucks Zoom back to Earth-Two but then immediately gets killed by Black Racer because time is an ironic bitch.

FLASH SEASON FOUR:

-Eobard is dead and back in the Speed Force and very desperate to go back home. -He makes a deal with the Speed Force that makes him a pure conduit of the Negative Speed Force, effectively tethering his existence to Speed Force. ( supplementary headcanon. ) -He is now a living paradox and fully connected to the Negative Speed Force, rendering him immune to timeline changes. -The moment he is out, he attempts to run back home, but Speed Force blocks him from doing so, partially as punishment for his past deeds, partially because he needs a reason to run and keep the Speed Force healthy. -CRISIS ON EARTH X DOES NOT HAPPEN, instead Eobard recruits the EARTH-THREE CRIME SYNDICATE to ruin Barry’s wedding, bitter about his new situation and his inability to run back home. -While doing so, he is starting to realize that he no longer harbors the same intense rage and hate towards Barry. -Upon Crime Syndicate’s defeat, Eobard escapes and is imprisoned in 2030 for Reasons™ -Listen the show never explained it why the fuck should I.

FLASH SEASON FIVE:

-Savit’r is the big bad of the season, Cicada gets a two-parter episode at best because he sucks. -Cicada’s dagger, however, is still in play and is what’s keeping Eobard imprisoned. -Eobard’s training of Nora takes place over a period of TWO YEARS, instead of the laughably small amount of time shown in the show. -Cicada is killed by Savit’r, who then destroys the dagger and leads to Eobard being freed. -Eobard / Nora / Barry confrontation happens as shown. -He genuinely grew fond of Nora and wanted her to survive by using the Negative Speed Force, so he is sad to see her get wiped from existence. -Upon running away from the scene, he is stopped by Mar-Novu, who promises him a way home in return for his help with the impending Crisis.

SEASON SIX (abandon all canon all ye who enter here)

CRISIS ON INFINITE EARTHS, EARTH ONE.:

-Eobard is The Harbinger, tasked with running between all the Earths and recruiting others. -He works with Oliver Queen during this time. -Over the course of Crisis, he comes to terms with the fact that he no longer hates Barry like he once did, so he buries the hatchet with him and finally lets go of his vendetta. -Watches Barry die as he destroys the Anti-Matter Cannon, the resulting tachyon explosion catapults Eobard back home. -This drabble takes place.  -The Multiverse is Destroyed.

CRISIS ON INFINITE EARTHS, EARTH PRIME:

-Multiverse is Rebooted. *Eobard is back in 25th Century, having never become Reverse-Flash in this timeline. (how does post-crisis season one work, then? Shhh don’t worry about it.) -The moment the Paragons ‘awake’ in Earth-Prime, he gets struck by lightning, (re)gaining his powers and his memories of the Pre-Crisis timeline. -As he is from the future, he recognizes he has all the time in the world, so he spends five decades living with his wife, Rose, until her death by natural causes. -Upon her death, he uses his powers to restore himself to his peak physical condition and runs back to 2020 to take place in the Final Fight against the Anti-Monitor. -Due to his actions in COIE, he is given a Founder status in the newly formed Justice League.

SEASONS SEVEN AND BEYOND:

-He makes himself a new suit, and renames himself Professor Zoom. -Nora Allen is alive in this timeline and is the tether that keeps Barry in the Speed Force, so, at her urging, he kills her again to bring Barry back. -He tends to spend his time operating as the Chief Financier Officer of the League because he knows other heroes aren’t all that fond of him and he’s overall still uncomfortable with the notion of being a Hero™. -He keeps his distance from STAR Labs overall, because even though he is on ‘good terms’ with Barry, there is a lot of nasty history there. -He does help out the League and Team Flash if he is absolutely needed, however.

#; REVISING MY INITIAL THESIS ( headcanon. ) #this is as concise as I can make it tbh #do make sure to check out juli's season rewrites tho because even tho I cut this off at season 'seven' he does factor into force quest #somewhat I would imagine. he helps out with paradox too #heck we even have their last scene mapped out lmfao shhhh

[silverdecepticon93]

I was the anon who requested Y/n freeing klarion...I’ve decided to request a one shot of the thing that happened in the bleak sibling headcanons where the YJ team rescues her, including Klair’s rampage bc thats hilarious for some reason. I’m not sure if someone requested this already, sorry.

A/N: Couldn’t really think of a title for this but I hope you enjoy! Sorry that it was so late, too!

    When the team saved a seemingly innocent (h/c)-haired girl during one of Klarion’s random acts of chaos, they hadn’t expected one person to be so much trouble. Especially now as they watched the news with a shared look of shock on their faces.

     Klarion the Witch Boy was currently decimating what used to be downtown Metropolis in what seemed to be minutes, except unlike the first time he was destroying Metropolis, he wasn’t getting any joy out of it. In fact, he seemed to get angrier and angrier the more he destroyed and ruined, and the fact that the Justice League was now appearing to stop him didn’t seem to be helping his temper.

     You merely watched the chaos and destruction play on the screen along with the other members of the Team who had “rescued” you during his first attack. However, you didn’t seem to be as surprised or disturbed as them, if anything, you looked a little upset with the sight in front of you.

     “You guys have to take me back to Metropolis.” You finally said, looking over at the rest of the Team.

     “You want to go back there?” Wally asked, looking at you as if you were insane.

     “You’re watching the TV, right?” Robin chimed in, nodding his head to the screen.

     You nodded your head before standing in front of them, “Yes but this rampage isn’t going to stop until you take me there. The Justice League may be formidable but not even they can take Klarion down.”     “And you think you can?” Artemis scoffed, crossing her arms over her chest and raising an eyebrow at you. You sent her a sly smile as you playfully tapped your finger on your chin, “Oh, I don’t think. I know.”

     “You seem quite adamant, (Y/n),” Aqualad noted before walking over to you, “but you were there when Klarion first attacked, you’ve seen first-hand what he is capable of.”

     “I’ve also seen his limitations, it wouldn’t exactly be the first time I’ve had to put a stop to his tantrums before.” You grinned, a devious glint shining in your (e/c) eyes.

     The Team all looked at each other as if silently conversing with each other with mere looks before they all looked back at you.

     “What do you mean by before?” Superboy asked. You merely sighed before rolling your eyes and pointing at the TV with your thumb, “Look, I’ll explain everything later but right now, you guys want to put a stop to this, don’t you?”

     The TV now showed as Klarion had all seven core members of the Justice League weakened and had them trapped in their own separate red orbs, red electricity seemed to be coming from inside them and putting the heroes in what looked to be an incredible amount of pain as they shouted and fell to their knees.

     It was an unbearable sight, to see the world’s seven greatest defenders and faces of the Justice League to be put in such suffering, and it was enough for the Team to finally make a silent decision.

    “Let’s go,” Kaldur finally ordered, the rest of the Team nodded in agreement.

     Zatanna walked next to you, thanks to the cloaking spell you had casted on yourself, she wasn’t able to sense any of the chaos magic that you possessed but you could tell that by the look on her that she was weary of you.

     “You really know how to stop Klarion?” She asked, her brows furrowed in confusion.

     Your eyes twinkled at her question as you two walked into the bio-ship, “You’ll just have to wait and see, I guess!”

     Meanwhile, Klarion was floating high in the air. His normal onyx eyes contorted into a pair of beady red ones and his pale skin now becoming a light shade of blue, red chaos magic radiating from his body like a flame as he continued to torment the trapped Justice League members.

     “WHERE IS SHE?” He demanded, although his shrill and angered voice was drowned out by the anguished cries of the heroes.

     Teekl simply meowed at him, making the Witch Boy look over at her with an even more livild look on his face.

     “Yes, I know they can’t answer me, IT WAS A RHETORICAL QUESTION!” Klarion growled before facing the Leaguer before him, “THEY OBVIOUSLY HAVE HER AND ARE KEEPING HER AWAY FROM ME!”

     Little did Klarion know, a camouflaged bio-ship was flying towards him with the members of the Team inside it. They all cringed, seeing their mentors and role models being subjected to such cruel treatment, which only tugged a little at your blackened heart.

     “What’re you gonna do?” Robin asked.

     “Easy, talk to him.” You answered, causing everyone to look at you.

     “Talk to him?!” Wally scoffed before pointing outside the window, “He’s literally torturing the Justice League in front of us! I don’t think he’d have any problem doing the same to you!”

      You dismissively waved your hand as if brushing the idea away from you, “You don’t know him like I do.”

      “And how do you know him?” Zatanna interrogated, “You said you’d explain it to us when we got here.”

     “That I did,” You nodded in agreement.

     Before anyone else could ask or say anything to you, a portal had opened up below you in which you fell through. It was hard to process, really, first you were there and suddenly you weren’t. The entire situation was a little overwhelming for them to handle in all honesty.

    “Where’d she go?” Zatanna asked, only to look at the front of the bio-ship to see you.

    She was utterly bewildered when she saw that you were floating in the air, your arms crossed over your chest and your (h/c) hair now floating in the wind.

     “KLARION!” You shouted, causing the raven-haired Witch Boy to turn around to face you.

    His beady eyes narrowed at you before the softened and slowly reverted back to their normal shape as his skin faded from a ghostly blue to a pale white as a smile began to grow on his face. It wasn’t a malicious or mischievous one, but one of relief and joy.

    “(Y/n)!” He beamed, the red magic that surrounded him now fading as the once trapped Justice League members were freed from their prison, only to start falling to the ground.

     You noticed this and quickly waved your hand behind you, opening a portal that would teleport them safely to the ground. Klarion must not have seen it or didn’t care because he quickly hugged you tightly, making you smile softly, and laugh a little as Teekl’s sandpaper tongue lovingly licked the side of your cheek.

     “Where were you?” Klarion asked, pushing you back while also keeping a tight grip on your shoulders. 

     You looked out the corner of the eye, while it looked like you were looking at nothing, you were actually staring where the invisible bio-ship was and debated about whether or not to tell your brother the truth.

     “Wandering,” You finally answered, looking back to face Klarion, “I was wandering around, it got so boring watching you create chaos.”

    “You could’ve joined in,” He pouted slightly before taking in your appearance, “and you also didn’t have to wear this cloaking spell, too.”

     Snapping his fingers, his red magic began to engulf you and the Team watched in shock as a pair of black horns began to sprout from the sides of your head and your casual clothes turned into similar to Klarion’s own outfit, just (f/c) accent colors instead of red. The magic disappeared once you were back to your normal appearance.

     “I know!” You protested before looking down at the city below, “but sometimes I like going into the mortal world.”

     You flicked your wrist to the city below as (f/c) magic soon began to rebuild and repair all the damage that Klarion had created. Your brother looked at you with a confused look on his face and you quickly developed a lie to tell him.

     “Oh c’mon. They take so long to fix the city and Metropolis is one of my favorite places to cause chaos!” You fibbed.

     “Well then don’t run off next time,” Klarion retorted before opening a portal with his magic and gesturing for you to enter, “now, let’s head back home. It’s so exhausting spreading all that fear.”

     You smiled at his words and watched as he entered the portal before turning around to look back at the place where the bio-ship was still flying before smiling and winking at the young heroes who you were sure were probably gawking at you. You waved at them and sent a little wink before following after your brother.

    Meanwhile, the Team watched in shock as they tried to process what had just happened.

#Klarion x reader #Klarion x you #Klarion Bleak x reader #Klarion Bleak x you #Klarion the Witch Boy x reader #Klarion the Witch Boy x you #(Y/n) Bleak #Bleak Siblings AU #Dc x reader #Dc x you #Young Justice x reader #Young Justice x you #Yj x reader #Yj x you

[hibiscera]

mr. mind, da worm

INHALES. EXHALES. Anon I am so sorry for what you have unleashed. This is gonna be long.

I’m putting it under a cut actually because this is getting ridiculous. The special interest is TANGIBLE. Also this is sooooo embarrassing so I’m sorry in advanced.

First impression

THIS IS THE CHARACTER OF ALL TIME!!! THIS IS _THE_ CHARACTER OF ALL TIME, PLANKTON’S INFLUENCE!!? HOW COME I DIDN’T KNOW ABOUT HIM UNTIL NOW!?!?!?

This discovery was made on October 18th, 2020, when one of my dearest friends showed me a picture of him to lure me into getting into DC and I took the bait! Hook, line AND sinker. ^_^

I don’t know what anyone expected from the person obsessed with Scalpel TFA.

Impression now

He Is My Favorite DC Character I Love Him So Much.

My favorite version is Justice League Action because he has the best design out of all of his canon ones, and he is funny.

Uhh the Rebirth version, I like the direction they took with him!! I love the name Maxivermis!! I love the fleshed out backstory they gave him because I think if any villain should have a tragic backstory, it should be the villain that is literally an insect and I am NOT joking!! Yes I get it’s about the absolute absurdity of him being an insect and a villain, but I’m an entomology freak!!

Enough of fleshing out the clown!! It’s worm time!! I like the parallels they kind of tried to give between him and Billy in it too? I just don’t love that he’s not an alien anymore. That’s part of the appeal!

The version of him I love the most besides JLA is... Uhh, well, my personal version of him that I made. (: The ideal Mr. Mind!! The tragedy of his backstory from New 52, while still keeping him an alien! Not the exact same backstory but it’s STILL tragic, giving it connecting threads to J’onn’s backstory (you thought I could resist the venus and mars parallels!?). Keeping his insect characteristics while still letting him have his little glasses!! The best of both worlds!!

Honestly I feel like a lot of loving DC characters is... plucking your favorite parts from various continuities and creating your ultimate version of the character.

I think Mr. Mind has a lot of potential to be an interesting character, again I know it’s like... he is an evil worm hehe but UGHHH OK I LOVE BUGS SO MUCH AND I THINK WE CAN DO MORE WITH THEM!! I want to write a new version of him that explores the potential the concept of the character has...

It’s very similar to why I love Killer Moth so much, he is a character with a lot of potential and even the root of their characters I think is that they’re tired of being stepped on and underestimated, all packaged in a bug theme.

Anyways, Plankton was always my favorite Spongebob character so I hope that explains everything.

Favorite moment

Every moment he has in JLA. The whole episode with him and Superman and Lobo was so good. He’s so... casual. He’s just like HEHE I am a stinker. (: And Superman is like rolls his eyes. That was good I loved that.

Comics I still... have much to work through. But I did like in the Magiclands comic when he tried giving Billy the whole WE’RE NOT SO DIFFERENT YOU AND I speech. And I have like... no context for this, but I had read that bit where he... is with Superman and trying to talk down Lex from doing something super evil?? I liked that. (I also know that’s apparently not the original Mr. Mind but one of his children who is basically just him again and retains all of his memories)

Also the DC Super Friends comic where instead it’s Super VILLAINS and he is at the mad scientist convention!! LOOK AT HIM!!

By the way I cried when I saw him for the first time at the end of Shazam.

Idea for a story

Me, holding a folder full of papers and it’s all of my Mr. Mind development notes. Let’s not make this post longer than it already is.

Unpopular opinion

I think they should stick to him being an alien. That’s probably not an unpopular opinion. He’s not a popular character to begin with.

Also I prefer his basis being more off of caterpillars rather than worms, but I think from the beginning that’s what they were going with. I’m just a caterpillar lover and very specific.

Favorite relationship

Okay. Okay... A lot of this is uhhh stuff I made up for my own version of him and that universe.

So I hope it comes as a shock to absolutely nobody that him and Scarecrow naturally occur to me as a duo. I hope no one is surprised I saw the dubious lanky nightmare chemist and the evil science bug and said “Hold On. (:”

I’m not gonna delve into that too much mostly because I’m EMBARRASSED... but I think a guy obsessed with fear would see a ghastly evil little caterpillar, a BUG, which many people are afraid of!! And I think he would be like... hmm yeah I like this guy’s style actually.

And then there is The Possibility Of Parallels Between Him And J’onn And Superman. Admittedly, in my own writing I’ve found him more compelling as an enemy to them than of Captain Marvel!! My version of him retains him being the last of his kind (I haven’t read the comics where it actually happens but I know how it happens in canon verse I thiiiiink), but the cause is different. Very different. They are in similar situations... But Mr. Mind! Well, he is a very troubled caterpillar.

But also I want him to have a villain decay arc and become Billy’s accidental uncle.

And recently I’ve started fleshing out my version of Mr. Atom more and he’s ended up being the Toxitron to Mr. Mind’s Scalpel... which is to say his robot son. Like Doofenshmirtz and his robot son.

Favorite headcanon

Okay, I’m sorry, I’m the most embarrassing man on the planet. Yes I headcanon him as trans and gay.

Otherwise again this is a point where the post would get WAAAAYY too long because I have thought so much about him and my version of him.

#mister mind #mir answers #this is the most embarrassing post i have ever made #anon #dc hc tag

[imaginedigimon]

I know the Adventure 01 & 02 kids have canon adulthoods already, but do you headcanon any of them with different jobs and/or futures? Or just some cool side hobbies when their older?

I’M SO SORRY I TOOK SO LONG TO ANSWER THIS

I CANNOT EXPRESS WITH MERE WORDS HOW SORRY I AM

But you know, I think about this a lot. When I saw the epilogue of 02 the first time, I just kinda took it. But then, I’ve always been more a canon lover than anything. Maybe that’s because I’m just thankful that the media I consume exists, so I like most if not all of what it does.

Enough about me and my strange relationship with the idea of canon.

Adventure Kids as Adults Headcanons

Tai [Taichi]

Honestly, I don’t think Tai would have played soccer all his life

The diplomat thing, at least after watching Tri, kinda works for him to be honest

I mean yeah my bae isn’t the smartest, but

Where was I going with this?

Oh, yes, anyway, he probably would’ve become a gym teacher or something

I imagine he’s great with kids and wants to be a lot like Nishijima, except without the whole secret agent-y bit

He started doing calligraphy in honor of Nishijima sometime after college ;-;

Matt [Yamato]

Is it cliche to say I honestly thought Matt was going to become a rockstar, if not one of those cool rocker guys who works in some record store or something and turns out to be really wise?

No I’m not thinking about Phineas and Ferb wdym

I’d like to think that even if he’s not still playing the bass like the god he is he gives lessons to others

Also he collects rocks

That’s important

Sora

Even I’m not sure why on Earth she’d be a fashion designer, fabulous as she is

But anyway, if she didn’t do that, she probably would have followed in her mom’s footsteps in... whatever it is she does [I’ve never been clear on that to be perfectly honest]

I think she definitely would have married Matt still as much as my 13-year-old self cries over it because I’m married to Tai, so...

Although I was enlightened to the idea of Sora and Joe some months ago during Takari Week so perhaps---

ANYWAY I can actually see Sora babysitting a lot or being the go-to friend for caretaking needs, whether it’s pets or children

Izzy [Koshiro]

We all know his occupation makes perfect sense

We wouldn’t have it any other way

He still makes Tentomon very very worried (they don’t mention it in the show but we all know it’s true)

He lowkey goes drinking with Sora’s dad and Joe’s brother all the time and nobody’s able to comprehend why he won’t go drinking with the other DigiDestined

Legend has it that he researches different brands of alcohol every now and then

(It’s actually every day)

Mimi

Not that she wouldn’t do a cooking show, but

Can you imagine if she had become an idol?

LIKE IMAGINE

She just goes up to Tai or Matt or all them on the street and people are like “YOU KNOW MIMI” and they’re like “uh yeah we’ve known her for X years”

Palmon joins her on stage too and looks fabulous

She does the thing Alec Benjamin does and goes up to people on the street and sings to them

And of course you can’t say no to Mimi she’s a legend

Joe [Jou/Jyou]

Again, his occupation made sense

I honestly wouldn’t have it any other way

But he doesn’t make as big a fuss about the doctor thing with his son

Watch his son be a delinquent I swear---

Joe somehow got really invested in crime shows

I wish I could explain how

Oh, and also---he found House

WHO LET HIM FIND HOUSE?

T.K. [Takeru]

I don’t think about it much, but I support his career as a writer

Mostly because I am a writer myself

Anyway, I think he probably did more than the novels, like some screenplays for TV shows and movies

He won some nice awards for that stuff

But you know what he really loves

Satanic rituals

....

....

I WAS KIDDING mostly

Kari [Hikari]

CHANGE MY MIND, SHE IS THE BEST TEACHER EVER

I LOVE HER OK

She is so loved by her students it’s heartwarming

We love teachers who get the respect they deserve

Her side hobby is making a better paper airplane than any kid in her classes

I...

I wish I knew why she tried so hard, but

Kari

Davis [Daisuke]

I am not about to take his dream from him

But I propose that it wasn’t just noodles

Oh no

It was also other delightful dishes found in carts like his (I’m not good at Japanese culture, so I’m not about to list some)

He’s so wealthy he goes to hang out with Oprah a lot

Somehow he’s started reading like all of the Oprah’s Book Club stuff

I just

I don’t know why it took this long to get him to read

Yolei [Miyako]

I greatly respect women who are willing to stay home all day with three children (like seriously HOW DO YOU DO IT), BUT

I think that’s just not very Yolei

She definitely joined Izzy a few times for his thing

Maybe she became a professional hacker

Like Garcia in Criminal Minds

So, yeah, she’s a big help to Ken, which makes sense

I bet Sora knows more about their kids than they do at this point XD

Cody [Iori]

HE IS JACK MCCOY FROM LAW AND ORDER CHANGE MY MIND

So anyway

I’d also like to think he’s like the dad of a friend of mine--the type of lawyer who represents children in tough situations

Social justice is just his thing, you know

When he’s not being the best lawyer in the world, he is rewatching Legally Blonde over and over and over again

He’s even watched Red, White, and Blonde and that spinoff Legally Blondes a thousand times

Let the man have a hobby

Ken

You cannot tell me he didn’t become the star of a reality show

You know “Cops” or like the Shrek parody of it from Shrek 2 “Knights”? Ken’s in something like that

But it’s all just antics between him and Stingmon

It’s really funny because they’re the best detectives but you can’t tell at first glance

We love them anyway

He still plays soccer, but he actually prefers coaching recreational leagues of it

---------

I don’t know where a lot of these came from @_@

It is 2 am, but I am tired, so I will finish my last backlogged request tomorrow (hopefully... I have some things I promised myself I’d do)

Thanks for stopping by!

#digimon headcanons #digimon adventure 01 #digimon adventure 02 #digimon as adults #i would tag all their names but no #never again #sometimes i wonder if these headcanons are just me being a crackhead or---