#and we talked a while afterward she really loved it

[ghoulphile]

janey's dad | c.h./the ghoul | part 01

➥ pairing | cooper howard/the ghoul x f!reader ➥ word count | 3.7k ➥ warning(s) | 🔞 smut; age gap, hair pulling, teasing, making out, mutual pining, lipstick kink, stockings, frottage, porn w/ feelings, porn w/ plot, mild angst w/ happy ending, divorced!coop, babysitter!reader, pre-war/bomb ➥ summary | “We really, uh, shouldn’t - oh fuck, you look --” ➥ notes | i'm so sorry this is later than it should be. i am unfortunately a corporate slave and this fic just did not want to cooperate 🫠 there are a lot more things planned and this fic is turning into a bit of a beast (20+ pages and counting rip lmao) so i've decided to split it into two parts to make it more manageable for myself mostly un-beta'd atm a special thanks to @corinthianism for all her lovely help ❤️!!

feel free to send in thots, questions, requests! | masterlist

Divorce is hard, but being a divorcé is downright hellish.

One of the ugliest things in the world, if Cooper Howard has any say. At least when he was a Marine, they told him where to point his gun, where to aim; nameless threats vanishing with a quick squeeze of the trigger.

Here, these ‘enemies’ aren’t enemies — not really.

It’d be easier if they were.

Worse still, they have names he holds as dearly as his own. There’s Barb, whip smart and always so clever. Then Janey, the light of his life and so sweet his teeth ache.

Once upon a time, life was sweeter than apple pie on Sundays.

Then came the separation.

Afterwards, he finds it hard to look at what’s left of his family without losing breath like a horse kick to the chest. Their absence rips open a hole inside him ten miles wide, its edges jagged and wrong.

And when he can’t take the silence anymore, fingers of malt liquor help dull the ache, though it’ll never be enough to mend what’s broken.

See, war’s something he understands.

But these domestic battlefields where he sits across from his ex-wife while lawyers barter this weekend and that holiday?

How he struggles to meet his daughter’s eye every time she asks if he’s coming home?

When Barb keeps the house and the money while he keeps the scrapbooks and the dog?

He doesn’t — can't — refuses to comprehend.

Because in what world can you reconcile looking down the barrel of a smoking gun only to find the woman you love staring back, finger on the trigger? Left out to hang as Vault-Tec orchestrates his downfall.

The true depth of their involvement is unknown, but it’s no coincidence his bank accounts dried up faster than the Mojave in June. The ink still wet when the media snapped up the story of his failed marriage.

Thus, his reputation (rather what’s left of it) unraveled faster than a spool of thread.

Knocked on his ass and kept there by a boot heel crushing his windpipe. Whose? He hasn’t got a fucking clue.

But whoever they are, they’re making sure he stays a washed up nobody who struggles to land a call back, much less pay his monthly alimony on time.

See what we can do? You were America’s favorite gunslinger - now look at you. Mind your place.

Hell, millions used to scream his name.

Nowadays people whisper it behind their hands like a dirty secret, “Oh, did you hear? Cooper Howard…” as they dissect pieces of his life into bite-sized Before’s and After’s. “Hah! Serves him right. Y’know, I never liked him much.”

While he grits his teeth and swallows his bitterness with a smile, he hates how he can’t protect Janey from snide reporters and nosy strangers. Juggling actor-father-divorcé with fumbling hands.

It’s only been six months; a heartbeat, a lifetime, and already he’s scraped thin like butter over too much bread.

Something’s gotta give.

After all, he’s only one man.

But just when it's bleakest, the clouds part.

A young woman moves in next door, the first bright thing that’s come his way in a long, long while.

At first, he kept his distance.

Exchanged vague hello’s and how-are-you’s. Then Janey took a shine; always so friendly and eager to talk about her latest books.

Any reservations he might’ve had died when he saw how enamored you are with her.

Only made sense that over time small pleasantries turned into playdates. Then those playdates turned into sleepovers.

Before long, you’re watching her when a gig runs late.

Rustling up grub and tucking her into bed more often than not these days. And when he slinks in through the door, knees aching and stripped to the bone, there you are with a shy smile and a warm meal.

So what if he takes himself in hand after you leave, stroking his cock to the thought of you down on your knees in that pretty little sundress?

Imagines the wide stretch of your ruby lips as you swallow him down, lipstick smeared an awful mess?

Cums hard to the fantasy of your teary eyes and hiccupy breaths as you choke?

What you don’t know can’t hurt you.

After all, he’s a gentleman... he promises to keep his hands to himself.

“All right, Sugar Bomb, it’s bedtime.”

Bundled in navy bedding up to her nose, Janey’s wide brown eyes peer up at you from beneath a riot of frizzy curls. Roosevelt, her ever faithful companion, plasters himself to her side. The tip of his tail swishes once, twice before falling limp.

“Ah, c’mon guys. Don’t look at me like that.” You sigh with a fond shake of the head, hip popping out to rest against the doorframe. “I don’t make the rules, I just follow ‘em.”

A muffled response sounds from the lump of little girl, “Nmfhm.”

Squinting, you dip your head and tap the side of your ear, "Pardon?"

“Mnhfmmmm.”

“Ye—eah… Didn’t catch that, Mumbler.”

Janey tugs down the blanket, her mouth pursed in a moue of displeasure. “I said,” she crosses her arms with a huff, “not until Dad gets home.”

Shit.

“M’sorry, baby. He’s still gonna be a while.” Walking across the room, you stop beside the bed and motion your hand back and forth. “Scooch over.”

Gangly limbs fumble as Janey wiggles into the middle of the mattress, her feet tangling in the blankets. Roosevelt takes a toe to the nose during the transition, but flops across her knees all the same.

Together they settle with a bounce of springs.

In the open space, you slide in.

The bed sinks under your weight, a plume of rich cologne tickling your nose; mint-spiced citrus. Cooper. Your stomach swoops, and your heart trips.

“I didn’t see him at breakfast — or lunch!” A pout tugs at her mouth. “Not even dinner. I gotta go home tomorrow. So when am I gonna see him?”

“Oh, bug.” You sigh, propping yourself up on your elbow. “Your dad’s been real busy at work. And I know that’s been hard for you, but I promise to make sure he’s here for breakfast tomorrow.”

“D’you mean it?” Her cold nose digs into your skin. “Me and Roosevelt miss him so much.”

Cuddled into your chest, Janey tosses an arm around your back. Her fuzzy head rests in the crook of your arm, springy curls tickling your skin.

You squeeze her tight and trace your fingertips over her forehead.

“I can do you one better,” you say, bopping the tip of her nose just to hear her giggle - a soft sound that sits warm and gooey in your chest. “I pinkie-promise.”

Her finger loops around yours, so small and fragile.

“I’ll even make pancakes. How’s that sound for a promise?”

“Oh, yes, please! I think Dad will like that,” a wide yawn cuts her off mid-sentence. “He’s sad, but he always smiles when you make food.”

Janey’s words — unexpected as they are sudden — cut so deep it steals the breath from your lungs. You flounder, your heart a throbbing bruise in your chest.

“... Then pancakes it is.”

As if nothing happened at all, she asks, “Do I have to go to bed now?”

“Afraid so, little miss.” Your responding chuckle sounds stilted even to your own ears. “Just you wait. When you wake up, Dad’ll be home.”

“Fi—ine, but I want extra pancakes.” Janey pauses, considers you with narrow eyes, then adds, “With syrup!”

“Whatever you want,” you say with an indulgent smile. “Now... time to sleep. It’s really past your bedtime.”

She gives you one last squeeze then lets you tuck her in nice and tight, blankets pulled up to her chin. You drop a kiss on her forehead while Roosevelt re-settles on the pillow beside her after a quick scratch behind the ears. 

Everything in order, you turn to go only for a little hand to stop you.

“Yes?” you reply, glancing at her from over your shoulder.

“... can you put on one of Dad's movies?”

The tremble in her voice - like she’s about to get scolded - breaks your heart clean down the middle. Stitching on a soft smile, you nod and walk to the darkened TV set in the room's corner.

After fiddling with the nobs, static flashes to life.

“The Man from Deadhorse okay?”

The holotape sliding into the track swallows the sound of her tiny “Yeah.” Starting up with a whirl of machinery, the second-hand Radiation King flickers to life in black-and-white.

A vast plain and bright sky stretches across the screen.

Then Sugarfoot creeps into frame with the one and only Cooper Howard sitting astride the noble steed. The sheriff’s badge on his chest glints in the sun.

“Thank you,” she mumbles, already half-way to sleep.

“Anything for you, baby. Sleep tight.”

Flicking off the lights, you leave the door cracked. Walk away pretending like hearing her whisper goodnight to the TV doesn’t lance through you like lightning.

The desire to whisk her into your arms and soothe all of her ails is almost impossible to ignore.

Somehow, you distract yourself by wiping up the table, then by fixing a plate of dinner for whenever Cooper rolls in. Though all the while, how brokenhearted Janey sounded sits in the back of your mind like a leaden weight.

When Cooper stumbles into the living room, it’s half past midnight.

You’d gotten up to greet him, curled as you were in an armchair reading, when something about the stern line of his mouth gave you pause.

Where the usual lighthearted greetings lingered, a pensive stillness trembled to life.

Tension crackles through the air; a held breath of agitation. By the faraway gaze and defeated slump of his broad shoulders, it’s plain to see the night didn’t go as intended. And no matter how much you long to soothe, you can’t.

After all, he’s not yours to touch.

Instead, you offer a sympathetic smile and ask, “Rough night, huh?”

Cooper ignores the prompt, squeezing past with a brief touch to your elbow as he makes a beeline for the dry bar. The heat of his body is there and gone in a flash, his cologne teasing your senses. He says, “Thought you’d be asleep by now.”

Your heart flutters in your throat. “Ah,” you lick your lips, “well, I was going to finish my chapter first.”

Humming, he turns his back to you and fiddles with high balls and decanters. The tink of crystal glassware fills the air as he speculates which alcohol goes best with his mood. 

“Thanks again for watching Janey.” He nods in approval and fixes his whiskey neat. “I don’t know what we’d do without you.”

“Oh, it’s no trouble, Mr. Howard.” You shrug. “She’s a sweetheart.”

He shoots you a dry look from over his shoulder, stirring the dark amber of his drink with a forefinger. When he sucks his skin clean with a soft pop - a flash of a pink tongue taunting, teasing - your stomach swoops.

God, I wonder what else his mouth can do.

Flustered, you clear your throat and stare at a spot on the wall.

“How many times do I gotta tell you to call me Coop?” he says, digging through some drawers until he finds what he’s searching for: a lighter. “It must be a million and one by now.”

Flint sparks as flames jump, eating away at the end of a cigarette. Cooper inhales in short little puffs, pulling on the filter. His cheeks hollow, the shadows enhancing the cut of his jaw before the tip catches alight.

“Well,” he exhales, his gaze catching yours through a plume of smoke as he turns, brow raised. “Anything to say for yourself?”

“Old habits die hard, I guess,” you chuckle.

The corner of his mouth lifts in a lopsided smirk. “I’ll drink to that.” He knocks back the last finger of whiskey before refilling with gin.

Springs groan in protest when he drops to the couch, settling in with an outstretched arm and wide spread thighs.

“It’s been a long fucking day,” he rasps.

Gulping, you try to ignore the space at his feet.

The stirrings of desire provoked by the urge to sink to your knees and fill it with your body, to ease tension from those shoulders with your hands, your mouth, your cunt — if he’d let you.

“You heading home?” Nursing the fresh drink, he swallows a mouthful, only to hiss low through his teeth at the chemical burn. His throat bobs, framed by the open collar of his shirt. “Whew! Goddamn, that’s strong.”

“No, I can stay for a while.” A bird on a wire, you perch on the cushion beside him. “Got nothing else planned for tonight, anyhow.”

Cooper snorts. “I doubt that very much. A sweet young thing like you,” he motions towards you with his glass, “I’m sure you’ve got plenty of fellas calling, especially on a Friday night. Don’t waste your time with me.”

“That’s not why I--” you stop yourself short.

Save for the bustling LA avenue right outside the complex, the apartment itself is stone silent for several heartbeats. Words hover on the back of your tongue, catching in the bend of your throat molasses thick.

Meanwhile, Cooper continues to swirl the alcohol in his glass.

Maybe in a different life, you wouldn’t hesitate to express yourself.

But here — with him — you shouldn’t.

Christ sake, he’s a grieving divorcé, you chastise yourself. The last thing he needs is me trying to lay one on him.

When you speak, his name glides off your lips for the first time, clementine sweet, “... Cooper, I’m not wasting my time. I enjoy spending it with Janey - and you.”

“Well,” he husks, hooded eyes dragging down your visage in a slow once-over, “you’re the first one in a long while to feel that way, sweetheart.”

Dripping like honey whiskey from Cooper’s lips, the simple phrase burns its way down-down-down until it blooms like liquid fire in your belly. Warms you all the way to your toes as your heart pounds against your ribcage.

“I mean it.” Your knuckles twist in the pleats of your sundress, bolts of blue fabric bunched around your knees. “Everything I do is because I want to.”

The flash of red nails plucking at the sheer nylon of your stockings snaps up his attention, his gaze snagging - staying as he chases the curve of your exposed leg, hungry.

He wets his lips, and tenses his jaw when he spots how the soft fat of your thigh dimples in because of your garter. “That’s awful sweet of you to say.”

You tremble beneath the intensity of his attention.

Greedy.

Little kisses of awareness spark bright along the path his eyes carve like the caress of shy fingertips.

However, before you’re able to confront him about his interest, the heat leaches from his expression, grows mute and cold like a muzzled dog. 

Readjusting the waistband of his slacks with a tug, he says, “I know you got better things to do than keep an old man company.”

Irritation sparks. “Cooper--”

“If this is about paying you for tonight,” his lips quirk into a sheepish smile, “I won’t be able to yet.” He scrubs a hand through the stubble peppered along his jaw. “The gig tonight didn’t… Well, it doesn’t matter.”

“No, that’s not what I --”

He plows on, “Anyway, the one I’ve got tomorrow should be enough. How about I stop by around seven o’clock? I’ll treat you to dinner as an apology.”

Frustration bubbles beneath the surface of your skin, antagonism thrumming through your veins. Your hands shake almost as much as your voice. “Cooper!”

“I… uh, yes?” He blinks.

Your brows furrow. “You don’t get it,” you say. “I mean, you truly don’t know?”

“I’m afraid there’s a lot I don’t get. You’re gonna have to be more particular.”

Maybe not said in so many words (or at all) but actions speak far louder.

Otherwise, why else would you spend most of your time in his apartment, fill every spare moment with Janey, and reserve evenings for his company?

Hell, you even cook and clean!

Almost scream your interest from the rooftops, and it’s obvious to everyone but him, it seems.

Here you are thinking he was preserving your dignity whenever he ignored a passing comment or lingering touch when, in fact, he’d been oblivious to their existence to begin with.

How a man can be so obtuse when you’re throwing yourself at him is beyond you.

If he wasn’t so captivating…

“Are you kidding me,” you ask, mindful of your tone, “how could you not know?” You throw your hands in the air. “I’ve been — for months!”

“Well, I don’t have a goddamn clue what you’re talking about, sweetheart,” he snarks, setting his glass on the table. “Care to enlighten me?”

Fine. If that’s how he wants to play, let’s play.

When he moves to take another drag from his cigarette, you strike, fingers locking around his wrist mid-lift. And although his glassy eyes narrow, he keeps his hand still.

Waiting to see what you'll do.

Tucking your knee under you for balance, you bend forward and watch his face from beneath your lashes. When your lips wrap around the filter, a dark hunger bleeds into his expression, his pulse a steady thud against the pad of your thumb.

Inhaling, the cherry lights up, a flashbang in the dim overhead light.

Cooper’s breath hitches, and then you’re pulling away with a lungful of smoke; the taste of ash heavy on your tongue.

He tracks your movements with greed, gaze flicking for the briefest of moments past your chin before refocusing on the ring of red lipstick staining white paper.

“If you wanted one,” he chokes, gripping the back of the couch with white knuckles, “all you had to do was ask.”

With a coquettish grin, you exhale to the side and stare at him with hooded eyes. “Is that so?” Plucking the cigarette out of his limp hold, you stub it out in the ashtray. “What if I wanted to ask for something else, Mr. Howard?”

The next moment finds you deposited in his lap, his hands shooting out to grab at your waist only to freeze before they make contact.

“Woah! I--”

“Tell me something.”

Your lips caress the shell of his ear, sharing breath - sharing space as you plaster yourself to his front, arms looped over his shoulders. He jolts, body trembling with restraint.

“Would you give me what I wanted if I said please?”

The distance between you snaps taut with anticipation. “C-Coop,” he stutters. “Call me Coop.”

You hum. “Well, Coop, would you?”

“That depends almost entirely on what you’re asking for, sweetheart.”

Red nails skate along the back of his neck, play in the downy soft hair of his nape just to feel him shiver. And then you’re leaning back with your hands braced on his knees, your legs falling open in invitation.

The hem of your dress bunches around your waist, exposing the soft cotton of your underwear, and the darkened patch of slick soaking through.

“I think you know exactly what I want,” you purr. “Because you want it too. Don’t you?”

He bites down on a strangled moan when your hips arch forward, rocking the soft plush of your ass against the heavy weight of his thickening cock. The zipper digs into your skin as he tents the front of his slacks.

Mouth dropping open, his tongue flicks out to wet his lips - a slick circle of temptation that makes you clench. “I, uh, I don’t…”

Reaching between your splayed thighs, you hook a finger beneath your panties and pull the fabric aside. He jerks forward, exhaling hard at the flash of your soaked cunt and twitching clit.

“C’mon, be honest.”

With a sigh, you gather your arousal on the tips of your fingers.

Cooper’s gaze is a heavy weight pinning you in place as you pretend it’s him dragging his knuckles over the top of your mond. Him dragging calloused fingers up along sticky folds to play with your sensitive clit, ripping soft little mewls from your lips.

“Can’t you see what you do to me, Coop?” you say, pulling your hand away to show the webs of slick stretching between your fingers. “I’m so wet. Please, I’ve wanted you for so long…”

His hips rock against your ass in an aborted thrust. “Shit - shit!” Eyes slamming shut, he grits his teeth and digs his fingers into your sides hard enough to bruise. “We really, uh, shouldn’t - oh fuck, you look --”

“Why not?” Your hand brushes over his groin. “I can feel how hard you are.”

“It isn’t right, that’s why.” He stutters, stumbles over his words, “Besides, Janey…”

“I can be quiet,” you say, lips trembling. “I promise.”

“Goddamnit, you can’t say things like that and expect me not to --” Cutting himself off, strong fingers seize your chin and tilt until you’re met with Cooper’s severe expression, his scorching gaze. “You need to tell me now: are you sure this is what you want?”

There’s no hesitation, “Yes.”

In what world would you refuse?

The words barely pass your lips before Cooper’s bowing his dark head, mouth ravenous as it captures yours in a slick glide of bruising lips and hungry tongues.

He steals your breath, licks into your mouth and traces along the sensitive inside of your lip.

Pulse jump starting, your toes curl over the edge of the cushion and your thighs squeeze the barrel of his chest, kneecaps digging into his ribs.

“Oh,” a moan punches itself out of your throat - a breathy little thing swallowed up by his lips. “That’s--”

Anticipation swells, simmers between you like a band before it snaps. A strong forearm locks around your waist, tugging you into the cradle of his chest until you’re plastered from stem to stern.

Too hungry for tenderness as his free hand slips up to cup the back of your head, fingers catching in the briar of your hair and tugging at the roots.

You claw at his shoulders while sparks of pain ricochet down your neck, sufficing into a prickly flush that heats your blood. “Hnn, Cooper,” you gasp.

He murmurs your name through languid flicks of his tongue and sharp little nips of skin that leave your mouth tender and swollen. When he pulls away to survey his handiwork, his eyes are dark. Fathomless.

"I never thought I'd get the chance to kiss you like this," he says, wicking his thumb over the pillow of your bottom lip. "You taste as good as I imagined."

Dragging your nails across his scalp, you plead, “No more teasing - I can't take it.”

"Well," he grunts, fingers twisting up in your dress, “If that’s how you feel, then you better put those hips to good use and work for it, sweetheart."

part 2 dropping soon

#cooper howard x reader #cooper howard x you #the ghoul x you #the ghoul x reader #cooper howard smut #cooper howard #the ghoul #the ghoul smut

[thinkingaboutjaedyn]

my heart over yours; part three | j.fleming x reader

prompt: jessie is determined to keep you away from sasha, but you aren't as keen on that. sasha has her own thoughts about jessie and your friendship.

author notes: this is way more angsty than the previous parts but i swear it's worth it. thank you for all the love on part two 😝💗 tumblr is such a nice place to post. anyways enjoy. again, the fic reads better with the song playing..just saying..

contains: ucla!jessie x reader, childhood bestie!jessie, jealous!jessie, sasha do not like what jeff and you got going on, reader is sorta of a bad gf in this, arguing, slightly messy writing, this part is shorter than the others but technically has a lot, prob the worst chapter by far btw, slightly rushed cliffhanger but idk

playing is there someone else? by the weekend 🎵

no one speaks as jessie keeps her glance on you. there are a bunch of questions floating around in her eyes. anger and confusion lingering around as well. you look back at jessie, trying to gesture to her to chill out if only for a moment. unfortunately sasha didn't know jessie as well and couldn't tell how badly pissed off the soccer player was. the blonde tries to lighten up the mood, making a joke as she says, "you two couldn't even bring me a donut? wow double betrayal." the joke doesn't land as jessie gives her glare before looking back at you. it's obvious she's waiting for some type of explanation. one that you aren't willing to give in front of the tall blonde in the doorframe.

"c'mon, you still have to change," you say. avoiding the way jessie gives you a look of annoyance. you gesture for sasha to move which the blonde gets, moving to go sit on her bed. you pull jessie by the wrist inside after you. once inside the hotel room you let her go for a moment to put down your half eaten donut before going over to where your luggage is on the floor. the entire time jessie just stays silent, giving sasha a few irritated looks every time she tried to speak which shut the blonde right up, but still silent.

you pull out some simple sweatpants and a t-shirt of yours. turning around to look at jessie. the canadian already knows what you want her to do, putting down her donut before coming over to you to grab the clothes. she leans in, whispering against your ear, "we have to talk." leaning away afterwards to walk into the attached bathroom.

"give us a minute. we'll be out way before the shop closes, promise," you reassure sasha before walking into the bathroom as well. shutting the door behind you. sasha doesn't say a word but her mind is flooded with thoughts of why you're going into the bathroom with your "best friend" to change? it isn't her place to question the closeness between you two, but it's something she tells herself to keep in mind while trying to get you to be more than her project partner.

jessie's leaning against the counter in the bathroom when you come inside. the clothes are sitting on the top of the toilet seat, untouched. "you aren't going to change?" you joke, making jessie scoff. she loves how you always try to lighten the mood, but this isn't the time. she was feeling too frustrated to really think rationally. the canadian says, "don't worry about the clothes. why are you sharing a room with her?"

"because it's cheaper? because i.. can?" you say the last sentence like you are unsure if you really can; technically there's no problem with you sharing a room with sasha. it's just a simple arrangement, you didn't even think about it after booking the hotel. but with the way jessie's looking at you it feels like you just got caught doing something you shouldn't.

your last sentence makes jessie let out a sigh. she doesn't have a right to be feeling so frustrated, she tries to pull back her emotions but she just can't. not when it comes to you. on the pitch, she can keep it under control. when receiving criticism her emotions don't spiral. but when it comes to you, for some reason, her emotions just spill out. when she doesn't speak you move to pull her close. taking her hands into yours, interlocking them as you look at her. having your glance on hers makes jessie finally open her mouth, "it's just.. you hardly know her and you just share a room with her so easily? i could have helped pay for a single room.. you could have come and stayed in my hotel room.."

she trails off, looking away from you for a moment. you could see the conflicted emotions across her face easily. you give her hands a gentle squeeze, letting her know to just say what's on her mind.

"it feels like you're pushing me away. you didn't even tell me you were rooming with her."

"i didn't think it was something to tell you. it's literally nothing, jess."

"but you used to tell me even the small things. the things you thought of as nothing. everything." jessie's voice breaks up a bit while saying that. you rush to pull her into a hug, the freckled woman nuzzles her face into your neck. she tries to push away the tears threatening to spill. your hands naturally rub at her back, comforting her.

"i just want you to treat me like your bestfriend again," she whispers into your skin. hearing her sound so heartbroken makes your heart break. you were meant to be her source of comfort, not the source of her crying. you try to pull away to look at her, but jessie pulls you back into the hug. refusing to let you go.

"i just want to look at you, jess. let me see your face," you say softly. again you try to pull away and you succeed this time. with jessie's hands still on your waist as she looks at you.

you move your hand to wipe away at the tears in her eyes. seeing jessie cry always makes you want to cry; you two's emotions are just too in tune, too connected. jessie leans into your touch. one of her hands letting go of your waist to grab onto your wrist. "don't let go.. don't let me go," she mumbles.

"i'm not letting you go. you're still my bestfriend, i would never push you away," you say softly. in the back of your mind is the thought that jessie and you have been in the bathroom for longer than it would take to change, but you couldn't find it in yourself to care. sasha can wait, the pizza can wait. jessie can't. "you promise?" she asks. you nod before saying, "promise."

it's thirty minutes later when jessie and you come out of the bathroom. after she had calmed down enough to change into your clothes, you held her for several more minutes before helping the soccer player wipe away the tear strains on her face. jessie may have been open with her emotions around you, but you knew that she would feel embarrassed if sasha knew she cried. you didn't mention how sasha probably already knew with how thin the walls are between the bathroom and the actual hotel room, but jessie's mood was getting better so you weren't going ruin it.

when you two come out, sasha is still sitting on her bed. just scrolling through her phone until she hears the bathroom door opening. she looks up to look at you both. there questions in her eyes, but sasha doesn't say them. instead she says, "are you guys ready to go? i'm pretty sure the pizza shop is open until one am, but i don't feel the safest walking through the streets of san diego anywhere near one."

you let out a soft laugh. shaking your head to agree with her. jessie lets out a small chuckle, nothing noteworthy. you two spoke in the bathroom about how she should be nicer to sasha. she doesn't have to be friends with the woman, just nicer. jessie only agreed for your sake; that doesn't mean she was going to overly enthusiastic when it came to the blonde.

"yeah. we should probably go. i'll get the uber," you say. sasha nods before standing up, grabbing her purse that was beside her. the three of you leave out of the hotel room. while sasha is walking ahead, jessie and you are trailing closely behind. hands interlocked as you two talk quietly. it was a subtle way of isolating sasha that jessie wasn't going to correct. she was nice to sasha, so now she deserves your attention; all of it.

getting from the hotel to the pizza shop didn't take long. the ride there was mostly silent with sasha trying to make some type of conversation, but jessie wasn't having it. giving her short questions until the blonde just stopped trying. you would try to indulge her, but could feel the eyes of jessie burning into the side of your head everytime you turned to talk to sasha, so you just stopped. when the car stopped, jessie got out first then you and finally sasha. the canadian was already pulling you towards the door of the shop, not caring if sasha was right behind you two or not.

"slow down, freckles. the pizza isn't going anywhere," you tease making jessie chuckle and roll her eyes. that joke was enough to make her slow down her pace. allowing sasha to catch up to you two.

"i have been seeing people go to this place all over social media, so hopefully it reaches the standards i set in my mind," sasha says. moving so she could go around jessie and you, grabbing onto the shop door.

"if we're going off smell alone.. this place already checks off some boxes," you pull jessie inside once sasha opens the door. it feels weird that sasha walks in alone after you two while jessie and you walk in together. another subtle way of isolating her that you didn't even realize you were taking part in.

the shop isn't anything fancy. a very simple design with white tile walls, a table or two in the room, a few framed awards about how the shop was one of the best in san diego, and a funny looking mascot that was painted one of the walls. it's cute and inviting. definitely felt like you were stepping right into the 2000's though.

the pizza is amazing. you end up ordering a simple pepperoni pizza and jessie followed suit while sasha orders hawaiian. "that's disgusting," you cringe as the three of you sit in front of the shop. your backs against the building as you sit on crates the shop gave you. jessie lets out a hum of agreement with your statement, with her mouth full of pizza she couldn't really talk. sasha rolls her eyes, nodding in disagree as she takes a bite of her pizza. she lets out a content hum afterwards; over exaggerating it to prove you wrong.

"it's actually amazing. you two just lack taste," sasha says. you roll your eyes before biting into your own pizza. after swallowing you say, "no. i think you're the one lacking tastebuds but continue to lie to yourself."

while sasha and you are bickering, jessie just looks at you two. finishing up her pizza faster than you both. seeing you be so comfortable with sasha puts a pit in jessie's stomach that's definitely not from the pizza. she refrains from butting in, knowing she would just make the conversation way colder than it should be. jessie will stay silent; for your sake.

the chilly air of the san diego night reminds you three that it's actually quite late. your pizza is already cold by the time you pay attention to it again, too focused on debating with sasha. the blonde woman's pizza wasn't doing any better than yours. now cold as well.

jessie checks the time on her phone, seeing 11:30 makes her stand up. she giggles seeing the defeated look on your face at how your pizza turned out. "c'mon. it's late, let's go back to the hotel. i can buy you a new pizza or you can just.. heat that one up again? i don't think hotels have microwaves in rooms but," jessie shrugs, "i could be wrong." you perk up hearing jessie say she would buy you another pizza. you weren't about to eat a half eaten cold slice of pizza, so you nod, accepting her offer.

the canadian doesn't spare sasha a silver of attention. focusing all on you. if sasha is bothered by being ignored, she doesn't say anything. being the second one to stand up, she agrees with jessie, saying, "yeah. let's go before it gets way too late."

you're the last one to stand up. pulling out your own phone to check the time; you didn't realize how late it actually was even with the moon being out. time flies when in good company. "okay, let's go. i'm tired anyways," you support your point with a yawn afterwards. jessie playfully shoving you at the irony of the action. you giggle and slap her arm in response making her let out a soft ow. sasha just stands there, unsure if she could even jump into the playful banter. in the back of her mind she says to herself that it isn't her place, she has no right to be apart of what you and jessie have, but still. it's awkward to just stand here, not joining in.

once you and jessie stop playing around, you two go inside to get you another pizza while sasha stands outside to look out for the uber. you two come out right when the uber pulls up. sasha gets into the car first then you follow and finally jessie. just like on the ride there, it was pretty silent. expect this time around sasha doesn't try to make conversation. too tired to even try. the three of you sit in comfortable silence, too tired from the day and the making the trip from the hotel to here.

the moment you all reach the hotel, jessie pulls you with her towards her hotel room. leaving sasha in the hall as you two walk away. "goodnight," you say loudly enough for the blonde to hear, looking over your shoulder at her for a second before following along with jessie.

again sasha is left alone, left out of the quotation. a way of isolating her away from you both. it's at that moment that she truly realizes how big an issue jessie is going to be when it comes to trying to become your girlfriend.

sasha and you fly back to la that tuesday. jessie and the national team have left the day before, on monday, to make it to the next friendly that was taking place in texas. you wished you could have traveled with jessie to texas, but unfortunately college gets in the way once again. with you having important classes that you had to attend and also having that big project to turn in with sasha, you just couldn't spend another day away from the confinements of your studies.

after turning in sasha and yours huge project, you two decided to go out for ice cream. with jessie away and busy with training, you had the time to spend with sasha.

you lean back against the bench as the sun beams down on the two of you. sasha convinced you to try rocky road and you're slowly regretting letting the woman sway you earlier.

"this is absolutely disgusting," you groan after taking another lick of the ice cream. sasha laughs loudly before taking a lick of her own ice cream. "tastes perfectly fine to me," she shrugs before enjoying her ice cream some more. you cringe seeing how much she likes it since you hate it; you two's tastes are the complete opposite.

you try to enjoy it, but you just can't. standing up to throw the ice cream away in the trash can near by before coming to sit back down next to sasha. again you cringe seeing how half of her ice cream is gone already.

"is it the nuts you dislike?" sasha says, raising her eyebrows at you.

"definitely the nuts."

"maybe it's because you're a lesbian..?"

you let out a gasp of mock disbelief before pushing sasha's shoulder, making her giggle. "god, just be quiet. i didn't like the marshmallows either.." you try to defend playfully. sasha just gives you a look that makes you push her again.

"c'mon, stop! my ice cream is going to fall," sasha whines. you let out a sound of playful annoyance, but you do stop. letting sasha finish up enjoying her ice cream. once done, she looks at you and smiles. "we should go get some food. i'm still hungry.." she pouts at you, it's a cute sight you won't lie but subconsciously you compare it to how jessie pouts at you whenever you tease her too much. why were you thinking about jessie when sasha is right in front of you? maybe because you miss the freckled woman, maybe because jessie and you went out to get ice cream all the time before sasha came into the picture, you don't know.

"okay, let's go," you stand up, "where should we go? pizza?" sasha shakes her head at your suggestion. pizza reminds her of how during the weekend she was basically a ghost while you and jessie did y'all's thing. instead she suggests getting chick fil a. you almost reject the idea, wanting something different but decide against it. letting sasha have this one thing.

"okay. since you paid for the ice cream, i'll pay-" your talking gets cut off by the ringing of your phone. you take the device of your pocket, already knowing who it is since you turned off do not disturb for only person, jessie. "hi freckles."

"hey idiot. i just finished.. wait.." silence follows after her words then shuffling as jessie moves around on the other line. you hear some other voices in the background as well. voices that are quite familiar. jessie speaks again, "are you outside? i swear i just heard a bird."

you chuckle, "yeah. i'm out getting ice cream."

"without me? why are you betraying me?" jessie says playfully. the words hit a bit deeper than they should have; what are you doing out here with sasha? that's the question that hits your mind but you ignore it. you aren't doing anything wrong, are you?

"shut up. are you with the team? put me on speaker, i miss them!" you smile once jessie complies with your request. you almost forget about the fact you're outside with sasha, but the blonde reminds you when she taps your shoulder. she makes a come on gesture and you mouth wait a minute before going back to talking to jessie and the team.

sasha lets out a dramatic sigh that's loud enough that jessie hears.

"are you with someone..?" she asks. stopping herself from asking if it's sasha since others are around her, but still she's curious.

"yeah. sasha wanted to go out for ice cream after class so here we are," you shrug despite knowing jessie couldn't see it. there is slight unease in your voice that nobody but jessie detects. she mentally reminds herself to ask you about it later, thinking it may have something to do with her.

you hear the voices of the other canadian players. eventually the loudest one is adriana who says, "sasha? that tall blonde you brought to the game in san diego? you two seem close!"

you're unsure of what to reply, knowing that jessie is right there next to the phone but you don't want to make anything awkward so you just laugh, "yeah. i guess you could say that."

"okay, guys stop. let me get my bestfriend back," jessie says. you are able to catch a few groans from the other players but that's it before jessie takes the phone off speaker before pressing it up against her ear. jessie had to stop that the moment it started. sasha and you? not as close as you are to jessie. the thought of sasha and you being any type of friendly makes her want to laugh. just because she knows it will never be comparable to the bond you two have. on the other hand it makes her want to argue, argue with you for even letting other people think that you were close to blondie. it wasn't your fault, but jessie can't exactly be rational when she's miles away from you and sasha is right there with you.

"we are about to get off the bus and get some dinner, so i'll call you later, okay? be ready for my call." you giggle hearing the serious tone that jessie tries to put on. "ten pm sharp. i'll be waiting for your call," you say.

"better be."

"shut up freckles."

after ending the call, you turn to look at sasha who stands there awkwardly. obviously feeling sorta out of the loop since she wasn't even included in the call. instead of having a conversation about how she still feels isolated compared to how jessie and you act instead sasha just says, "chick fil a?"

"yeah. let's get some chick-fil-a."

jessie is only gone for two more days. you greet her at the airport and you two went out for dinner the night she flew back to la. during that time you weren't thinking of sasha at all. even when she texted you, it wasn't noticeable since you had your phone on do not disturb expect for jessie and your parents. it's not your fault really. sasha and you usually only click in person, being way dryer over text, and you haven't seen the blonde ever since jessie came back. your schedule clears up enough that you only had one class for the entire week and that class was not the one with sasha. you really weren't trying to ignore her, the circumstances just allowed you to forget.

you were fine with not seeing her though. spending most of the week hanging out with jessie; with most of the hanging out being just cuddling in bed while watching dumb rom coms or animal documentaries that always send you sleep. it was just like old times when jessie was your main friend. she's still your main friend, but sasha is in the picture now. sorta. while you're doing perfectly fine with not seeing the blonde, she wasn't the opposite.

it wasn't like sasha was desperate to see you, but her crush on you was growing and she's been wanting to go on a second date. counting that day you two went for ice cream then lunch as the first. everything is moving a little too slow for her and sasha is sure she knows the reason: a certain brunette soccer player. one who obviously doesn't like her and who is obviously a priority in your life. these two facts don't stop sasha from reaching out to you though. it's on saturday when you get a text.

you're laying in jessie's bed as she sleeps away the evening. her face is pressed against the top of her head while her arm is laying over your neck. you feel the text before you see it, with your phone vibrating somewhere on the bed. you aren't even sure where it is so you slowly try to move jessie off of you, so you can find it but the canadian is stubborn. even in her sleep as she pulls you closer. thankfully you find your phone right under jessie's hip after it vibrates again. struggling to pull it from up under her, but eventually you do. you blink at the brightness of your screen before reading the notification.

sasha ☀️

can we call?

i want to ask you something

you

can't call

just text me 🤍

sasha lets out a sigh seeing your response. she wanted to hear your voice. before she can stop herself, sasha types out and sends,

sasha ☀️

why?

she knows it's not her place to ask, but still. also it's this thought in the back of her mind that there isn't just a reason behind your text, but a person.

you

jess is sleep 💤

don't want to disturb her :(

and sasha's right. jessie is in the way once again. every time she tries to do anything with you, that freckled soccer player is right there to stop everything. even when she's sleeping she stops you two from doing anything more than the bare minimum.

sasha ☀️

okay

want to go out for karaoke? tomorrow night?

you

omg yeah

you swear you won't make fun of my vocals?

sasha ☀️

promise

alright it's a date

you two text back and forth for a few more minutes before you text that you're tired and that you're going off to bed. after that you move slightly so you can put your phone on the nightstand beside the bed. jessie groans out softly at the temporary loss of heat. pulling you closer then moving so that she's half on you half off. "where you going?" she mumbles softly into your skin. you can hear the sleepiness in her voice.

"nowhere. right here," you mumble back. your own sleepiness catching up to you. all that you done all day was be in your dorm and do things with jessie, but still you feel so sleepy.

"okay.. sleep. please?" jessie nearly whines but instead a muffled groan comes out instead. you wordlessly give her a yes, letting your hands rub on her back before drifting off to sleep yourself.

the next night, you're getting ready for your date with sasha. you haven't even told jessie about it but you can tell she already knows by the way a permanent pout seems to be stuck on her lips. she's leaning against the bathroom doorframe while you do the finishing touches on your hair.

"do you really have to go? we can do karaoke here," jessie says. the problem wasn't even the karaoke, it was sasha. jessie didn't want you to be going out on dates, but it's not like she could just say that.

"and risk getting noise complaints? no thanks," you laugh softly. jessie laughs after you, moving to come close. she wraps her arms around your waist like she always does. "we won't. just be quiet. i'm good at that, you're not."

"i'm not? you're louder than me when you get excited," you give her a look. moving away when she tries to pinch you. jessie chuckles before pulling you back close again. "freckles, watch the clothes"

"just change," jessie shrugs, pulling you right against her so that your face is pressed against her shoulder. you whine and playfully slap her back.

"you're the most annoying person ever. now i have to redo my makeup and change my clothes," you finally are able to pull away. your shirt is wrinkled and your skirt isn't any better. while your makeup is now smudged since you didn't even get to put on the setting spray before your bestfriend started to annoy you. jessie doesn't show a drop of remorse as she walks away from you. giving you a light slap on the shoulder before leaving out of the bathroom.

it takes you ten minutes to change your clothes and to redo your makeup. you rush out of the door, giving jessie the middle finger when she almost made you trip on the way out of the door. thankfully you aren't too late. sasha is understanding when you arrive at the karaoke place.

"jess messed up my whole look. i had to change and everything," you pout as you sit down on the cushioned bench in the small room. sasha have rented out one of the rooms in the karaoke place near ucla. the blond doesn't seem too fazed by your lateness, just happy you made it.

she smiles, "it's cool." she moves away from where she's leaning against the door before sitting down next to you. grabbing the mics that are on the table in front of you two. "ever done karaoke before?" sasha says.

you look at her with disbelief, "do you think i live under a rock? duh, all the time in highschool. jessie and i would go every friday as a little celebration that classes were done for the week." thinking back on those memories makes you smile. jessie can't seem to escape your thoughts. you don't notice how sasha frowns before she changes the subject, "challenge me then?" sasha looks at you as she holds out one of the mics towards you.

and who are you to reject a challenge? you take the mic out of her hand. standing up to the karaoke machine. "beyonce?" you ask, looking back to see sasha standing up as well. "duh," she laughs, coming closer to the machine.

"whoever loses has to get the winner whatever they want." you say, looking at which song to pick.

"bet, get ready to be at my mercy." you roll your eyes at her words. just giving her a small shove before starting the song. "that's cheating!" sasha giggles; then the battle was on.

sasha and you sang various beyonce songs with not the best vocals but still you two sang your hearts out. debating who won after each song ended. eventually around three hours have passed and it was coming close to the time of the karaoke place closing time.

"i totally won that. i practically sounded like beyonce," you say after setting the mic down. sasha and you have just finished singing single ladies which you are sure was definitely a win for you.

"get out of dreamland," sasha rolls her eyes. setting her mic down as well. she moves to grab her purse and jacket, glancing at the time on her phone. "okay, let's do rock paper scissors to see who won."

you cringe at her suggestion, but go along with after checking the time too. you two do three rounds of the kid game with sasha winning at the end. she smiles as she says, "told you that you would be at my mercy. now what could i possibly want..?"

sasha drags out her thinking, poking her cheek with her finger. she stays like that for a moment before saying, "go on another date with me?"

you smile at her question. you should have known that was going to be her choice.

"of course. i have to redeem myself next time." sasha laughs, about to say something else when your phone rings. you grab it quickly, already knowing who it is since your ringer is only on for jessie and a few others. you hold up a finger at sasha to basically say wait a moment. once she nods in understanding, you answer the call.

it wasn't too long and it wasn't really that important; well to others may not seem important but to you it was important because it was jessie on the other line. the soccer player asked if you were coming back to the dorm soon since she went out and bought strawberry ice cream, your favorite.

while you're busy on the phone, sasha is fighting away the frustration in her bones. again, you were paying attention to jessie again when your attention should be on her at the moment. she wouldn't care it jealousy. everytime you choose jessie over her just feels.. rude. when that soccer player comes around, you drop everything and run to her on her beck and call. it's annoying to see. it's even more annoying to experience. why can't you look at her?

she's snapped out of her thoughts when you end the call. looking at her before smiling, "sorry, gotta go. jessie bought this ice cream that i absolutely love and she threatened to put it under hot water if i don't run to my dorm in five minutes and.." sasha doesn't let you finish your rambling as she says, "it's fine. go ahead."

you smile and say a quick good night before leaving out of the room. leaving sasha to go back to jessie's arms once again.

this same situation seems to happen every single time sasha tries to spend time with you. all the weeks past, you and sasha do hangout. going out on a few dates when you two aren't swamped with classes or when you weren't with jessie which was rarely. only when jessie was off on international duty is when you weren't with her and even then you were on the phone with the woman all the time.

the frustration that's been building up in sasha since she started to pursue you was going to show itself soon. jessie was always in the way.

you could never stay overnight at sasha's dorm because "jess would be missing me."

you couldn't take too long walking back to your dorm from class because "oh freckles likes to always watch this tv show after classes end and it comes on around now so i really can't miss it."

oh no, you can't go out that day? why? because "i have to go see jessie play. you know ucla has a home game today right?"

it's always about jessie, jessie, jessie. hearing her name was becoming suffocating for sasha. she couldn't stand to hear you talk about memories that you have jessie and how you two are so close. everything about you seems to be intertwined with that damned canadian. sasha swears if she hears jessie's name come out of your mouth one more time she will lose it and that time actually comes.

you have just come over to sasha's dorm to "study." in reality you two were going to eat snacks before playing a few games. a simple, but cute home date that sasha appreciates more than the ones where you two go out. when you arrived, you have dropped your backbag against her bed before going into the mini fridge next to her bed.

"you only have cherry freezepops? jessie and i love those," you say, standing up with one of the freezepops in her hand. okay the first time she heard jessie name that day doesn't annoy her enough to do anything about it. she just hopes you don't talk about jessie anymore today while you two hang out.

that hope doesn't last long. sasha decides that you two should watch this whale documentary that uses comedy to explain how whales social circles work and that's when sasha blows up on you.

"this sounds so cool. jessie always wants me to watch documentaries and she always convinces me so it's like.." you don't get to finish your sentence. sasha rolls her eyes before saying, "oh my god, y/n. can i hear something about you instead of jessie for once?"

there's deep irritation in her tone. making you look at her in confusion. why was sasha acting like that?

"what are you talking about? i tell you about myself all the time," you reply. crossing your arms across your chest as some type of barrier against her words.

"not if it doesn't involve jessie. do you even exist without her? when she leaves, do you just cease to exist?" sasha snaps at you. she doesn't mean to, she really doesn't but these emotions have been building up for a while now. could she really be blamed when all she knows about you is from memories that involve someone else?

you don't take her words well at all. firstly, she basically insulting you and saying you have no personality. secondly, she's mentioning jessie like she's some type of pest. two things that went too far in your book.

"obviously i do! i'm right in front of you!" you stand up, moving to grab your bag. you weren't going to stay somewhere with someone who's insulting you. "and now you're going to leave? can you blame me for what i said? you always bring up jessie. knowing she doesn't even like me! how do you think that makes me feel?" sasha stands up too. grabbing onto your arm to stop you from moving any further.

you immediately pull her hand off of your arm, nearly slapping it. "jessie may not like you but that isn't a crime. she's at least being civil towards you. not insulting you behind your back!"

"really? when you two are in your dorm, cuddling away or whatever the fuck you two do in there, she doesn't say one bad word about me?"

"no she doesn't."

"you're fucking lying!" sasha lets all of her frustration out. it's all too much and now you're just lying to her face. "and i'm a fucking idiot because i'm chasing after some chick who's inlove with her best friend!" sasha's words created a pit in your stomach. it reminds you just of the words everyone else used to say when it came to jessie and you. that you two are too close, that she's in love with you and you're in love with her.

you are quick to defend yourself, not even thinking rationally, "i'm not in love with jessie! she's my bestfriend, so don't even try to apply that. if you're going to be so jealous over nothing then we can be done."

"jealous? i'm not being jealous, i'm being reasonable. you know why jessie hates me? because she wants you!" sasha shouts. she swears all the dorms in this hall can probably hear you two, but she really doesn't care. this was a conversation she's been meaning to have and unfortunately it came out so explosive.

you shout right back, "didn't i just say to not even apply something like that? you're crazy!"

sasha makes you fall silent when she says,"i'm crazy? no, let's see if you're crazy. answer me this, do you want to be my girlfriend or are you already taken by jessie?"

author notes: sorry this took like a thousand years, it was a struggle to figure out how to make this part fit into the story. the cliffhanger is a little messy sorry for that too and yeah, hope y'all liked it 🙏🏾 hopefully it was worth the wait. ignore any gramatical or spelling errors pleaseee

© THINKINGABOUTJAEDYN

#jessie fleming x reader #jessie fleming #woso x reader #woso fanfics

[infizero]

today was awful but aside from that MY MOM HAS NOW BEATEN OMORI!!!! after months of playing we did it :D

#she cried a lot during the truth and the final duet which. SAME! ik she was going to #and we talked a while afterward she really loved it #so that was really nice :] and cathartic after going thru the game over such a long period of time just waiting to get to last bit and see #her reaction to it. did not disappoint brother that room was DEAD SILENT during the truth segment we did not say a WORD to each other #i could just see her expression of ''oh my god..... (horrified and sad)'' #serena.txt

[icharchivist]

cw: child abuse (psychological, grooming, ect)

also speaking of parental abuse there's also this text of how Millie wants to be Tyra's mother, but she doesn't want anything that makes Tyra unique.

She started loving Tyra the moment she saw her find some dinosaure when she was dying in the cold and starved after being separated from her parents, seeing that despite her situation, Tyra was so excited about finding a Tyranosaure she was forgetting how desperate her situation was and instead loved the dino right away.

Millie saw how excited Tyra was about it, and loved Tyra right away enough to decide to make her hers.

But Millie hates dinosaurs, she finds them disgusting, she uses them as tool and keeps insulting them, hates that Tyra sees them as her family.

she used the dinos as bait to get Tyra to pay attention to her, and she used a particularities of the dino to mind control Tyra

but even now as Tyra is being brainwashed, everytime she looks at the dinos, Millie just tells her "don't look at those disgusting things, just look at me, your momma"

and it's another level of control that rings way too true on parents who """"""love""""" their children, but not for who they are -- just for what it brings them.

yes Tyra is cute. But everything she likes, everything that makes her happy, is disgusting. So it needs to be removed from Tyra's life. Her love and her excitement has to carry over to Millie, not to the stuff she actually like.

it's something way too real and it's genuinely giving me the yikes it makes me unwell.

#ichablogging gbf #ichablogging tyraevent #sorry massive tmi in the tags #sorry it struck a cord bc it's something that's been on my mind for days with my own mom and i'm just. god. #my sis has a new boyfriend who happens to have 3 children - including two very cute twin girls who are adorable #i meet them for the holidays and we hit off right away. they're very cute and hyperactive and everything #and i kept encouraging them in that so they really imprinted on me hard that i legit couldn't get away from their cuddles aha #point is though that i was talking about it with my mom afterward #and she was all 'you know they remind me so much of you when you were a child. thats why i found it so shocking when you closed yourself in #and it hits me hard in the. who's. who's fault do you think it is. #because i saw how all of the adults around us were rolling their eyes at the girls #i saw how all of them were telling them to calm down or telling them straight up they were annoying and exhausting #i saw how when i tried to tell a cute story from my dad's home to the girls (about saving a hedgehog once) #my mom tried to derail the topic on how she's been done horribly dirty by my father -- directly to the girls #like. mom. they're 7. why the fuck are you cutting me when i tell them something they're interested about to tell them such a heavy thing. #and with xmas obligation and the fact i'm forced to be here but i'm mostly ignored most of the time and cut off #(s/o to the family member who said they didn't want to hear anything from me because i was 'neither interesting nor smart' a while ago) #also it reminds me of how my mom loves to brag about how passionate i am but always cut me off & belittle me bc she hates what i care about #it keeps reminding me of that. saying they love you but they don't care about anything about you. it's about what you bring them. #it hits fucking hard the timing is too tight i legit had a family thing yesterday which was the reason i could only read this event today #Granblue why would you do this to me

[doberbutts]

Anyway yes, people who can X should be accomodating to people who can't X. People who can walk should accomodate people who can't. People who can hear should accomodate people who can't. People who can see should accomodate people who can't. And on and on. When that doesn't happen, it's a problem that deserves to be talked about.

But the problem is not and has never been "physical disabilities are more important and deserve more accomodations than mental disabilities"- nor the other way around either.

People love to dunk on folks with ADD/ADHD but you know? As someone with ADD raised by diabetic parents I gotta say there's a lot of similarities here. People with ADD, myself included, often forget to eat and when they do eat they often load themselves up with carbs and sugars because those foods make their brains feel good. People with diabetes have to closely monitor their meals and often crave sugars and need a blend of sugary and protein-rich snacks on hand. This is not to say ADD and diabetes are exact one-to-one disabilities.

But having grown up watching my parents manage their diabetes, I too am very aware of meal times and blood sugar and constructing meals that will tide you over and having a blend of sugary and protein-rich snacks on hand Just In Case. I am able to manage my ADD better in this way because I have experience from watching my parents. I also need access to snacks and to be able to say to my boss "I need to go eat something real fast" without being punished.

I had a training client who was the image of "able bodied mentally ill" outside of the usual creaks and squeaks associated with age, her body worked just fine. But after a series of incidents in her youth- a car accident that left her with a serious brain injury, coming home from the hospital afterwards to immediately have her house broken into and herself raped by an intruder, and assorted medical malpractice while she was healing from both- she has a serious and extreme case of agoraphobia and spent the next 40 years completely unable to leave the house. She would hide and wail and scream when deliveries of groceries and other goods would come, because it meant a stranger (and usually a man) would be at her door. She could not go more than a couple steps outside to get her mail and especially not if other people were outside.

At some point her therapist suggested getting a pet, one that *had* to go outside, to help her. So she got a dog and contacted a trainer (me) and we got to work. And she did improve! The dog has been a huge help to managing her symptoms! But you cannot seriously expect me to have worked with this woman for years and then belittle mental illnesses as being lesser when this woman also shares the inability to even leave her house let alone go inside a grocery store. Even today there are times when she simply cannot, she cannot will her body to move out of her door and into transportation let alone into the building.

When she first started coming to me she thanked me for not belittling her or making her feel bad for classes she had to cancel because she couldn't force herself to take the first step over the threshold. That is when she told me what happened to her and that while it sounds terrible she was really happy to have found a trainer who knew something personal about trauma and brain injuries. She is also a case where I feel her ESA should be considered service dog not because of training or tasking but because her need is so high and she is just completely incapable of doing anything without the dog in her arms.

Anyway I think of her any time someone says "but you can walk through the door". There's nothing wrong with her legs so in theory sure she could. But often she *can't*, not because of anything physical, but because she is very severely mentally ill.

[inf3ct3dd]

streamer!ellie pt.2

summary: i hated the other one of this that i made, so REMAKE TIEM!!!

warnings: miiinor sexual content, shit talking, gay people 😒

authors note: heheheh ples don’t flop this time..

- during her faceless days, she opened up a po box so ppl could send her things, and she made an amazon wishlist and she unboxed stuff on stream 😍😍

- one day she was unboxing a giant box of cat toys. string, those little feather stick things, even that weird automatic flapping fish thing (that she secretly loves and taped to her back one time)

- she was playing with this one toy that was a little fishing reel, and it had string and a little fish on the bottom. she went on and onnn about how shes a self proclaimed “fishing master” while garf chased it around, letting out little meows and growls of frustration.

- eventually, she lost her grip and let go of the pole. she bent down to pick it up, forgetting that her face would be in view. thus, the chat started blowing up.

ewwwbruh: FACE REVEAL

ewwife: EW WE CAN SEE UR FACE

ewwife: JUST THE SIDE BUT WE CAN SEE YOUU

ewssidechick: her nose looks so rideable…

- she got distracted petting garfield, and didn’t realize anything until she stood up. she was getting tagged over and over again on twitter, blurry pictures of her face (curtesy of the shitty webcam) circulating through her subreddit.

- “guys. im gonna erase this from ur memory…” and she literally held up this goofy ass hypnotizer pendelum and started fake hypnotizing everyone like “that never happenedddd” “you don’t know what i look likeeee” “that was fakeeee” “chat that was not reallll”

- and everyone literally js went along with it and pretended it never happened. like ppl were tweeting about it and everyone was like “huh??? what are u talking about bruh??”

- she did the same thing after falling off her rainbow unicorn scooter 😞

- one time she revealed that the “ew” in her username stood for her initials, and everyone was making the most horrendous guesses. elliam willace being the favorite one.

- “guys, my name is not edward wilson??? i am…not a man”

- shes gotten into so much drama…multiple notes app apologies have been issued via her instagram story.

- people would ask her opinions on other streamers, and she’d literally just be like “…i have no idea who that is.” and people would get so MADDDD but homegirl is literally just blatantly unaware

- or she would know , and would literally be like “they’re honestly super annoying and i would rather kill myself than watch them but whatever floats ur boat ig!”

- she played that “womp womp womp womppp” sound effect on her soundboard afterwards.

- SPEAKING OF. she abuses that soundboard sooo much. its so obnoxious and annoying like I SWEARRR!!! she’ll tell a horrible pun and play the crowd laughing and cheering sound effects while literally no one laughed.

“guys. whats the best way to watch a fly fishing tournament??”

“…live streaming.”

(crowd cheering sound effect)

“nooo thank you thank you, you’re all too kind, really!!”

- meanwhile chat was dead silent.

- every time she gets to choose her own name on a game its some dumb shit like "jizzmaster" or "chris fucker"

- “it appears you have entered innapropriate content.” “OHHH LOOK AT EPISODE LOOK AT THESE CORPORATE BIGWIGS TRYING TO CONTROL THE LITTLE MAN???”

- she just ended up naming him “chris phucker”

- like when she played episode on stream and made up really annoying voices for all the characters and made her character look like an elderly man, and made the love interest look like you 😍😍

- she messes up sm on games when she streams normally, but when you're there? she is LOCKED THE FUCK IN. sitting there so focused the entire time just to show off

- whenever she randomly goes silent she just starts SINGING. it's either nicki minaj or some fucking fnaf song

"IS THIS THE THANKS THAT I GET FOR PUTTING U BITCHES ON???"

- speaking of, her favorite fnaf song is def “stay calm” cuz she loves saying “hey kids. Nice to eat ya.”

- bought one of those "i paused my game to be here" tshirts…ironically. you refuse to let her wear it in public

- beefs w kids on fortnite sm... she has definitely gotten banned for saying she was gonna bomb a kids house or fuck their mom 😞

- every time she plays a game, she'll literally sit there and watch an 8 hour long video about the lore. she'll plop down on the couch and watch it like a movie

"did you know everyone actually thought that fnaf one took place in 1993, but it was actually 1992?"

- she definitely had you sit next to her when she played through fnaf because she was lowk scared the entire time whenever she heard you walking around the house while she was playing she'd hear footsteps in the hallway and be like. WHAT THE FUCKKK

-she'd have you right next to her, laying your head on her shoulder and messing with her free hand. if you fell asleep, she would be sitting there slapping her hand over her mouth whenever she gets jumpscared bc she doesn't want you to wake up 😞

- sometimes, while she streams , she plays one handed games and lets you sit and draw on her arm for fun. even got you a whole set of those skin markers so u could go ABSOLUTELY HAM. she got one drawing you did that said “r + e 4eva” tattooed in ur handwriting…such a sap

- she loves watching fan edits of herself...AND OF YOU. she'll be on her burner account with a whole collection on tiktok of edits of you.

ewwsbiggestfan: shes so bad i want her to hit me w her car...

- speaking of. imagine her using that account to make shitty capcut edits of you like

- shes ur biggest fan ongod

-WHILE WE’RE ON THE TOPIC OF “fans”…what if i made a completely new origin story for streamer!ellie and reader. what if they were both streamers….

- OKAY SO BASICALLY.

- you had started streaming about a year before ellie did. butttt, you two did very different types of streaming.

- you weren’t very into like, SERIOUS video games. sure, you played some stuff, like animal crossing and roblox and the sims, but nothing more than that.

- that wasn’t what you were streaming though.

- ever since you were younger, you had been wayyyy into…literature.

-by literature i mean fanfiction. heaps of it.

- actors, anime characters, BOOK CHARACTERS, you were in DEEP

- sometimes, for fun, you used to read them out loud in stupid voices. when you were alone, or with your friends, it was very entertaining

- that’s when you got the idea to start streaming it. if it could entertain your friends, and you, whos to say it wouldn’t entertain other people.

- well, it definitely did. in your first year, you hit 10k followers. people loved you. theyd make edits of you, send in requests of fics for you to read, everything.

- a while later, ellie started gaining more and more popularity. out of all the incomes of fame, fanfiction was the most. abundant!

- one day, you got a request to read an ellie x reader fic. at the time, you barely had any idea who she was, but you decided to just go with it 🤞🏽

- “who the fuck is elliam willace???”

- the fanfic was definitely very…graphic!

- “your hips rolled onto her thigh, her slender, tattooed hand palming at your waist. ‘you’re doing so good babe, fuck.’-“ “GUYS. ISN’T SHE NOT ON MUTE RIGHT NOW???”

- you couldn’t help but giggle the rest of the fic, feeling a nagging heat in your core. you didn’t even know who the girl was, but if this fic was accurate, someone would have to sedate you.

-“im actually. gnawing at the iron bars of my enclosure. GUYS. who is this woman…is she real… if she is. things are about to get WICKED.”

- not very thankful to you at the moment, she was very real. apparently, you and her were streaming at the same time, and your followers raided her stream telling her she was reading about you. her curiosity was obviously piqued, and why would she NOT join the stream?

- creeperewman: im definitely real!

- the text on your screen literally made your stomach fall into your ass. you stood up and legit just walked out of the room, camera still on. was she there the whole time???

- creeperewman: aww 😞 where’d she go she’s so badddd

- you eventually returned after a minute of calming yourself down, and low and behold, she gifted you 100 subs and followed you on instagram.

- she was definitely very real!! and that fanfic was…lore accurate. to say the least 😊

- after you two started dating, the two of you would often show up on eachothers streams. ellie, teaching you how to play cod, and you, reading with her.

- she secretly loves reading the fics people write about her and making fun of them, and every time you stream with her shes “subtly” hinting that you should read about her

sitting there pulling on her collar, looking away like “gee, wonder who you’re gonna pick today” with the worst fake laugh ever.

- “ellie can barely ride a scooter, idk why she’s in the mafia rn…” “you fall off ONE TIME and all of a sudden you cant ride a scooter. bullshit.”

- she makes fun of all the dumb pet names like “babygirl” and “darling” and randomly calls you them and bursts out laughing

- you still read those fics when you’re bored sometimes. and ellie MERCILESSLY makes fun of you for it

“yknow, if you missed me that bad, you should’ve just told me.”

#streamer!ellie #ellie williams au #ellie williams x reader #ellie williams x you #ellie williams x y/n #ellie williams x f!reader #ellie williams x black!reader #ellie x reader #ellie x y/n #ellie x you #ellie x fem reader #ellie williams headcanons #ellie williams smut #ellie williams fanfiction #ellie the last of us #ellie tlou #ellie williams

[luveline]

jade i am begging on my knees ….. any time you are up for it …… it would make me very greatly happy to see something with a bombshell!reader x hotch <33333

The office is hot today in the midst of a ninety degree summer, and your coworkers have been forced to strip down to their lightest layers, the women in linen blouses, men with their shirt sleeves rolled up high. Spencer has ditched his sweater vest reluctantly, cooling himself with a makeshift fan fashioned from printer paper, and Emily huffs next to you at her desk, overwhelmed. 

“How aren't you hot?” she demands to know. 

You lean back in your chair with a demure smile. “Mind over matter.”  

She rolls her eyes. “I shouldn't have asked.” 

Hotch's office door opens. You turn in your chair to watch him appear —even Unit Chief's get hot, apparently. He looks flustered in the heat, pink-cheeked and hair skewed ever so slightly, the most unmade you've ever seen him at work. 

You could get used to it. 

He feels you looking, narrowing his eyes. You'd like to think it was playful. For Hotch, it is. 

“Hot, handsome,” you say. 

“I'm fine.” 

“I wasn't asking.” You beam at him. 

“Enough. You know the rules.” 

He doesn't seem too mad, but he's right; you know the office rules. Don't flirt, don't start, and don't text him inside of work hours unless that text pertains to work itself. You'd started calling him instead —what are you wearing right now?— and he'd decided that text now meant any communication lest you find another loophole. You're pushing it. 

“Ah, the rules,” you say, throwing your arm across your eyes in mock distress, before peeking under it to see if he's watching. He always is. “You know rules aren't made for people like me, handsome.” 

“Stop it, final warning. Or I'll have you moved.” 

He makes being his girlfriend very difficult. You roll your shoulders and drop the act. “Hey, I need to talk to you about something.” 

“Afterwards.” 

“No, right now. Please? It's important, I swear.” 

He gestures for you to come up. You take the stairs and cross the landing to his office, where he's already stepped back inside to open the window even further on its hinge. There isn't much wind to breeze, but there is a palpable difference between his office and the bullpen. You join him at the window and let the barely cooler air fan your face. 

“What's wrong?” he asks. 

“Can you give me a quick kiss? It would really lift my spirits.” 

He laughs somewhere deep in his chest. “No, honey. Now tell me what you wanted to tell me.” 

“I have a doctor's appointment next week, on the 13th. It's a Wednesday. I was hoping for PTO, but I can take a sick day if that's not agreeable.” 

Hotch gives you the side eye, brows gently furrowed. “Everything okay?” 

“Wouldn't you like to know.” 

“I would, actually.” 

“Yeah, well, you'll have to beg for it. Not everything in life is free, Hotchner–” You break into laughter as he grabs your waist, not expecting it, your hips tender as he squeezes. “Ouch, you're kinda handsy, you know that?” 

You sound beautiful like this, laughing as you talk, so happy it lines every word. Hotch pulls your front to his, arms crossing casually behind your back, his eyes expectant. “Tell me,” he commands smoothly. 

“Because you asked so nicely, I'm just fine, but I've been feeling a little under the weather. I think I'm anaemic.” 

“And this is the first time I'm hearing about this because…” 

“Because I'm not allowed to talk to you at work!” 

He rolls his eyes as you drop a considerable amount of your weight against his arms. Usually, Hotch would meet your eyes and say, You're punishing me for a rule created out of necessity, or something to that effect, but, despite everything that might say otherwise, he really likes you. Loves you.

“I know, honey, I'm sorry. Maybe we can… allot you a few texts a day.” He analyses your expression. “One a day.” 

You squeeze his naked forearm and lift up to kiss his cheek. He stays completely still while you do it, beside the small stroke of his thumb where it rests on your back. “Thank you. I'll leave you alone now, or we might get caught fraternising with one another and lose our jobs. Oh, wait, that's not actually going to happen–” 

You burst out laughing as Hotch once again squeezes your waist in warning, the hint of a smile on his lips. 

#aaron hotchner x reader #aaron hotchner x you #aaron hotchner x y/n #aaron hotchner #aaron hotchner fic #aaron hotchner blurb #aaron hotchner drabble #aaron hotchner imagine #aaron hotchner fanfic #aaron hotchner fanfiction #hotch x reader #hotch #hotch x you #hotch blurb #hotch drabble

[rxdidz]

hi love!! can i request the bnha boys when they're jealous? please and thank youu!! :D hope you're having a great day and remember to take breaks whenever you need to ♡

⨳ the bnha boys when jealous !!

hcs / ft. katsuki, izuku, shoto, sero, denki

katsuki

the worst out of everyone here

gets jealous even when denki says hi to you 😭

like he’s OKAY if the person doesn’t know your together but when they do he’s about to throw hands

SO much eye rolling n grumbling when that guys talking

insults him at least once

he trusts you but like he wants to be the only guy to make u smile

when the guy tries to hug you bye?? he instantly grabs your hand and turns you guys in the other direction.

probably makes fun of him as soon as he leaves 😣

he’s so petty, he’s quiet afterwards n not responding to u 😭

izuku

he’s so cutie patootie

he looks so concerned like his eyebrows are furrowed HELP

probably frowning a bit as you talk because did he just touch your shoulder???

like he’s quietly fuming in the background

holds your hand <3

overthinks a lot n hes so quiet that you have to wave your hand in front of his face 😭

tries to make it not obvious but fails

afterwards he looks so sad kiss him

“he was just, kinda looking at you funny..” he mumbled.

he just gets more insecure than jealous i think pls reassure him

shoto

quieter than usual

also he’s never felt jealous before so he’s like??? why am i so mad???

also frowning and just observing your behaviour with this guy

wants you guys to leave rn

once the guy makes a comment about how u look good today he bluntly asks “y/n, what time it?” so you guys can go 😭

you guys stay for like 5 more minutes and the whole time hes trying not to glare at him

he grabs your hand “we have to go, sorry.” he apologizes but he does not mean it.

he’s also really quiet because he’s embarrassed 😭

sero

the chillest of everyone here

he’s mature so he doesn’t make a big deal outta it

like if the guy doesn’t know your in a relationship it’s okay because your pretty he knows that ⁉️

but if he does know then he’s mad cause like back off 😭

looks annoyed while he talks but it’s okay

agrees with every compliment he gives you and brings up something about you dating

plays with your hands as you talk

once he asks you out that’s when he’s genuinely annoyed cause what

“uh, shes with me.” he stated.

teases you afterwards with a stupid grin “idk go ask your boyfriend.”

denki

pouty.

very clingy

he gets jealous but not in the mad at you way

he came over to u and threw his arm over your shoulder

“hey babe! who’s this?”

once the guy flirts with you his grins fades and he’s just staring blankly at him.

he trusts u ofc but he doesn’t trust this guy 😭

hugs you from behind as you talk

“cmon, let’s go eat lunch now!” he whined, playfully dragging you away. (but he’s fr like let’s leave rn)

when your eating lunch together hes talking about it the whole time.

“did you think he was funny? because i didn’t..” he pouted.

“kaminari i have to talk to him we’re doing a project together??😭”

#mha x reader #bnha x reader #bnha x fem!reader #bakugou x reader #denki x reader #kaminari x reader #katsuki bakugo x reader #sero hanta x reader #sero x reader #izuku x reader #izuku midoria x reader #deku x reader #shoto x reader #shoto todoroki x reader

[rougepancake]

Pervert!

Ft. Giyuu, Shinobu, Obanai, Uzui, Gyomei, Sanemi, Rengoku, Mitsuri

Warnings: Panty/bra stealing, mentions of masturbation, just sexual themes overall. Afab reader. Minors and ageless blogs dni!

Summary: Just some headcanons! Not proofread!

GIYU TOMIOKA:

He’s so sly about it. Like the two of you will be hanging out and as soon as you turn around, he’s checking you out.

Though, he does feel a little guilty since you’re one of his closest friends (and his neighbor-), but at the end of the day, it won’t matter because he’ll be moaning your name until he passes out.

He’s the type to feel guilt in the moment and then think back on it later and be like “worth it.”

Giyu tells himself that it’s only natural to feel these types of things. (It is, right??) It kind of makes him feel less bad about it.

He walked in on you changing once and was never the same afterwards, I’m talking about the hardest hard on to ever befall a man ✋☠️

He’s not totally perverse though, because he respects your personal space and doesn’t try to hug or feel you up, but every time he gets off to you it makes him feel worse.

This man is borderline about to just get down on his knees and beg for you to be his because he’s so desperate for you.

However, he does enjoy catching sneak peeks of you when you’re in the shower or while you’re changing.

I mean you’re just right there so how can he not stare?

SHINOBU KOCHO

She sleeps over. All the time. Doesn’t even try to hide that she might be a women enjoyer.

She’ll do little things like “Y/N have you ever kissed a girl to see how it would feel? Why don’t we test it out to see if we’re lesbians hehe~”

You two also go skinny dipping together in the nearby lake frequently, and often times she’ll come up behind you and grope you jokingly (Because girl things amiright?)

This chick openly steals your bras and underwear. AND WEARS THEM. IN FRONT OF YOU.

SHE’S PUTTING SHIT DOWN AND YOU’RE NOT PICKING IT UP. LIKE THIS ISN’T PERVERSION, SHE IS HARD ON FLIRTING

She takes you out to places that are referred to as make out spots and likes to give you little sexual innuendos here and there, but you’re so oblivious it drives her up a wall

She literally offered to “demonstrate” how to properly give someone head AND THEN PROCEEDED TO EAT YOU OUT LIKE HER LIFE DEPENDED ON IT

Recently, however, you’ve noticed that some of your vibrators (the ones that weren’t gifts from Shinobu) have gone missing

Not to worry, they’re in good care as long as they’re with Shinobu, and honestly, so is she.

She is shameless.

IGURO OBANAI

He’s so bbg istg, but he’s a DEVIL when it comes to you

He lives for hugging you and brushing his fingers against your ass, or dropping things on purpose and watching you bend over to pick them up

Speaking of bending over- this man has an entire photo album dedicated to pics of your juicy ass

He is definitely the type to get turned on at the thought of you finding that album; He just loves the riskiness of it all

He takes you out for drinks and gets you a little tipsy so he has a reason to ‘watch over you’ because it’s simply not safe for a girl like you to be alone and wasted

Obanai also has pictures of you sleeping, ones where you can see how tight your shorts are and ones where you can see your perky nipples through the shirt you’re wearing

He really can’t wait until you find those ones.

Once after a night out together, he went through your room while you were asleep on your couch and stole one of your vibrators

That night, he used it until the battery died, shaking from pure overstimulation and excitement. However, he never got tired of moaning out your name desperately

He does feel some form of guilt though, after all, what he’s doing isn’t exactly morally acceptable. And he would have made his move a while back if he wasn’t so scared about ruining your friendship

So for now it’s just useless masturbation, pretending it’s your pretty little lips wrapped around his aching cock

TENGEN UZUI

Has more self control than Shinobu, but barely.

He openly slaps your ass in public, placing his hand in your back pocket as you walk together and glaring down anyone who gives you funky looks.

He’s also a lightweight, so whenever the two of you go out for drinks, it always ends in him flirting (poorly) with you and asking you to join in on a foursome with Hinatsuru, Makio, and Suma

He gets all whiny when you say no and offer for him to spend the night at your place so he doesn’t have to walk home alone, but then again, he’s gonna be at your house for a night 👀

The next thing you know, your favorite pair of panties are missing, along with your most worn bra and even your favorite perfume.

You ask him about it the next time you see him but he denies all accusations. Low and behold, the next time he spends the night, your bra and perfume return, but sadly, you’ll never see those panties ever again.

Whenever he’s wasted and at your place, he begs for you to bathe him to help him sober up, but the last time you did that, he got a hard on when you ran your hands down his broad shoulders.

Your friendship dynamic is the dumb idiot (Uzui) and the tired mom (You), so it’s often that you wind up taking care of him in situations like this.

However, unlike Obanai, he hardly has any photos of you, instead, he prefers to take sneak peeks while you’re showering

He gets even more painfully hard when he catches a glimpse of how the water runs down your gorgeous body, your head turned away and your ass facing him is the best sight he could ever behold.

But he’s not the type to masturbate alone, moaning your name like a slut, he takes it to Makio, Suma, and Hinatsuru, who are far from worried when he ‘accidentally’ moans out your name while they’re pleasuring him.

He’s sworn them to secrecy though, so they’ll never be able tell you how terribly he shakes when he calls out your name.

GYOMEI HIMEJIMA

Out of all of them, he’s definitely the one to feel the worst about it. Like, it goes against his views to be thinking of someone like this and it causes him to feel MASSIVE amounts of guilt.

Since he’s blind, he has to imagine what you look like, which isn’t hard because he had you describe yourself to him when you first met.

He sees you as the most perfect woman to ever grace the planet, he’s 100% smitten. He is legitimately in love with you 🙏🙏

The two of you share an apartment, and due to Gyomei’s strong desire for you, he’s considered moving out.

He hates it, he genuinely thinks it’s wrong to think of you in such a way. But Uzui and Rengoku told him that it’s totally normal for a man to think like that and not to worry about it.

There was one night when he had come back from work later than usual and had assumed you were asleep, only to hear you pleasuring yourself in your bedroom.

He may be blind but he sure as hell ain’t deaf. He’ll never be able rid his mind of how beautiful your voice sounded, of how lewd the noises you made were.

He’ll never stop picturing it either. There’ll be times when he’s at work and he thinks of you like that, immediately having to excuse himself and head for the restroom as soon as possible.

You just get him so unbelievably hard. It drives him mad how he can’t have you, and it creates a deep pit of shame in his stomach when he masturbates to your perfect being.

He can hardly hang out with you like he used to because he starts to think about how it would feel if he had you ride him on the couch, or if he bent you over the kitchen counter and made you scream.

While he dreams of fucking you endlessly, he’d die a happy man if you’d just kiss him.

SANEMI SHINAZUGAWA

You’ve been tutoring his brother recently, and he just can’t get you out of his head.

Like he loves the idea that you’re so willing to help Genya, so maybe you’d be able to help him?

Or better yet, he could help you.

He’s so mean whenever you come over, openly bullying you whenever you’re trying to teach Genya. He hopes that he’ll get to see tears run down your beautiful face one day, but instead, you only return his comments with a smirk

The first time you did this, it caught him off guard entirely. Like you put his ass in his place with ease and it left him hornier than ever.

He dreams of you on your knees, tears in your eyes and he fucks your throat harshly.

Poor Genya can’t catch a break either- He literally caught Sanemi jerking off to a pic of your ass, literally traumatizing the kid.

You take no bs, so you’re used to going over to their place, immediately shutting Sanemi up and watching him scurry of to do lord knows what.

He has videos of you insulting him and often uses them to get off, but he’d never tell you that even if he managed to pull you.

As far as he’s concerned, he’s going to dominate you, not the other way around. (He just wants you to sit on his face.)

KYOJURO RENGOKU

He’s such a gentleman when it comes to you. But like- whenever you grab his arm and drag him around, or bend down in front of him to look at something, he starts thinking some unholy things-

He does have a couple upskirt pics, but only out of curiosity. He wanted to know what it would feel like to do something risky like that (and Uzui kind of talked him into it-)

He loves hanging out with you, but you’re so innocent. He’d make sexual innuendos if he wasn’t afraid of you asking what he meant. The thought of someone ruining your innocence literally makes him break out in a cold sweat.

(Oh but he gets off to the thought of him ruining your innocence all right.)

He often wonders what it would be like to make you moan in pleasure, how easy would it be to get you to cry out in pleasure?

You’re just so sweet though, and it only makes him feel like a horrible friend when you meet up after he’s been masturbating to your cute little face.

Honestly, he couldn’t care less about how you would make him feel, he practically strives to make you happy. He’d eat you out endlessly if you turned around and asked him to.

I mean it. He’d do it no questions asked, right then and there. As long as you’re satisfied, then nothing else matters.

But it does suck when he’s stuck humping a pillow, pretending it’s you. He’d much rather it be the real deal.

MISTURI KANROJI

MY GOD SHE’S LITERALLY JUST LIKE SHINOBU

She uses the fact that you’ve been best friends for a long time as a way to “test things out”

She also occasionally says things like “Do you ever wonder what it would feel like to kiss a girl?” And “jokingly” flirts with you during sleepovers.

There was one time you two were dancing around and you told her you liked her jiggle physics, resulting in her flashing you

She once found where you kept your toys and judged you for how cheap they were. She mocked you for “not knowing how to pleasure yourself” and offered for you to use hers whenever you liked

You did take her up on that offer once, and she used it right after (cleaned of course)

She jokingly gropes you along with you groping her and just messing around with your sexualities in general. (Just normal gal pal things-)

Though, you’ve always taken her flirting as a joke, since you’ve always been flirtatious with your friends.

She loves cuddling with you on your couch when you watch movies, making fun of the characters and eating popcorn together.

She definitely takes a lot of advice from Shinobu, which is where she gets most of her confidence from. If it were anyone else, she would be a blushing mess.

She’s just a fan of physical contact in general. Like hugs and little cheek kisses in general-

My god she loves physical contact so much that like the slightest touch has her shivering a little. Full blown goosebumps.

#x reader #demon slayer #fanfiction #kimetsu no yaiba #kimetsu no yaiba hashira #sanemi x you #shinobu x reader #giyuu tomioka x reader #uzui smut #uzui x reader #mitsuri smut #giyuu smut #sanemi smut #rengoku smut #rengoku x reader #rengoku x you #obanai x you #obanai smut #gyomei imagines #gyomei x reader #gyomei smut #kny smut #kny x reader #kny modern au #kny headcanons #demon slayer x you #demon slayer imagine #demon slayer smut

[ur-local-anti-hero]

Back to december

Remus Lupin x reader

Summary: Remus feels like he will regret that night the rest of his life, the marauders convince him to do something about it.

Genre: Hurt/comfort, Second chance romance

CW: Remus being self-destructive and questioning his worth.

Word count: 1.8K

This is part of my Speak now (Marauders' Version) collection.

“So this is me swallowing my pride standing in front of you, Saying I'm sorry for that night. And I'd go back to December all the time

It turns out freedom ain't nothing but missing you. Wishing I'd realized what I had when you were mine”

Remus sighed, his eyes were fixed into someone across the great hall. He was sitting with the marauders at their usual place, his fork was playing with the food in front of him, he hadn’t been able to eat ever since that night. 

“Come on mate, tell us what’s wrong. You’ve been sighing the whole dinner.” Sirius’ voice made him turn to him, seeing his three friends looking at him with worry written in their faces. 

“Nothing is wrong, I’ve already told you” Remus replied with the same excuse he had been using for days.

“Yeah and that’s why you’ve been looking at Y/N like a kicked puppy for the last week” James retored. “Tell me again, why did you two break up?” 

“How many times are you going to ask me that?” Remus sighed, tired of repeating the same conversation over and over with his friends. 

“Until you tell us the truth” Peter urged. 

“I’ve been telling you the truth, we wanted different things, the relationship wasn’t working” 

“Remus” Sirius’ voice was stern, and the lack of a nickname while referring to his best friend was jarring. “You two were the epitome of love, I had never seen you smile as much as you did with her, like, never.” 

“It’s hard to believe you, not even a day before you broke it off you were looking at her like she was the best thing that had ever happened to you. Your words, not mine.” James insisted. 

And he was right, Remus had never been as happy as he had been while dating you. The choice of breaking things off had been all his. He loved you so much it was terrifying, at some point all he could think about was how long he had left before you realised what he really was and you left him for someone better. You deserved someone better. 

“I really hope this has nothing to do with your monthly problem.” Peter’s voice was low, only for the four of them to hear. 

Remus couldn’t help it, he stiffened. Peter had nailed it and he wasn’t ready to let his friends know about how deep his insecurities really run. But, they noticed his frame changing from exhausted to on guard, Remus didn’t even say anything before the rest of the marauders understood what had happened. 

“Is that true Remus, did you break up with her because of that? I thought she already knew?” Sirius asked quietly, his previous anger now replaced with symphaty.  

“She knows now, and it doesn’t matter, just drop it. I’m done with the interrogation” Remus snapped at them before getting up and leaving the great hall, leaving his friends with dumbfounded expressions behind. 

───✥───

Lily meant well and you knew it, but if she kept asking you if you were okay you might explode. 

“How are you, Y/N?” Lily asked you, for the fourth time in the last hour. 

Ever since Remus had broken up with you Lily had been sitting next to you through all the meals, leaving her boyfriend's side, and afterwards she would walk you to your dorm. You appreciated her company and her friendship, but she was also a constant reminder that things were not as they were before, and therefore she was a constant reminder of your heartbreak. 

“I’ll be fine” was the answer you settled for every time she asked.

“I talked to James.” Lily hesitated before speaking “Are you really okay? He told me why you and Remus broke up…” 

Your eyes widened at that, if James had really told Lily about your break up that meant Lily knew about Remus being a werewolf, and as far as you were concerned he had never pushed her out of his life as he had done when you had been the one to bring it up. 

“You knew about…that?” you decided to keep it as vague as possible in case James had made something up to stop Lily from asking more details. 

She nodded “Ever since fourth year” 

“Did he tell you?” You needed to know, your hands were now shaking and your heart was racing. 

“No, I figured it out. Just like you did '' Lily's words calmed you down a little, if he had been able to confide in Lily but had never felt safe enough to tell you it would’ve made you feel awful. 

“The moment I brought it up he cut me off, we didn’t even have the chance to discuss it. He just broke up with me.” It was the first time you were being honest about it, and it just made everything hurt like if Remus was breaking up with you all over again. 

Lily stepped closer to you before wrapping you in a tight hug, her arms stroking your back in an attemp to comfort you. 

“I think you should talk to him, try to make things right again.” she whispered. 

“I don’t know if that’s a good idea, he probably doesn’t want to have anything to do with me.” 

“Somehow I doubt that.” 

Maybe Lily was right, but you would never be brave enough to even try to prove her right.

───✥───

After storming out of the great hall Remus had locked himself in his dorm, he didn’t want any of the marauders to give him a speech about how he couldn’t let his lycanthopy affect his relationships. Because it had already affected the most important one he had. 

But of course his friends wouldn’t grant his wishes. 

“Remus, let me in, I want to talk with you. Please” Sirius was nothing but persistent. “Come on Moony, you know I’m not leaving.” 

Remus sighed, he’d been doing that a tad lately, but decided to let Sirius in. He wasn’t going to give up anytime soon, and he preferred to talk with him alone and not wait for James and Peter to join Sirius. 

When he opened the door Sirius didn’t waste a second and barged in, going directly to sit on Remus’ bed. 

“Oh, yes of course, make yourself at home on my bed.” Remus scoffed at him. 

“Come sit, Moony” 

Remus didn’t have the strenght to fight him, so he walked towards his bed and sat next to Sirius.

“What happened when she found out?” He wasn’t going to waste any more time. 

“She confronted me about it, asked me why I hadn’t told her.” Remus said sadly 

“Was she judgemental, was she scared or disgusted?” Sirius inquired, he knew you well, and you weren’t anything but lovely and understanding, being disgusted by Remus’ lycanthropy was not something he pegged you to be. 

“I didn’t give her the chance to really express what she thought of it” Sirius gave him a look of encouragement for him to continue. “I broke up with her before she could say something.” 

“Why?” 

“I think that if she had rejected me at that moment I would have never recovered from it, I was terrified.” He said, his words showing a rare vulnerability. 

“Do you regret it? Not giving her a chance. Do you really think she would’ve hated you?” 

“I regretted it the moment she walked out of the door, but I couldn’t risk it” 

“I think you should give her the chance, talk with her.” Sirius patted his shoulder

“If she didn’t hate me then, she defintely does now. She deserves better.” 

“I believe it’s not your call to choose what she does or does not deserve, give her the chance.” 

Maybe Sirius was right. 

───✥───

The Gryffindor common room was not very crowded after curfew, usually only a few seventh year students were spotted working on their class work after being kicked out of the library. 

But these days you would only find comfort on the couch in front of the fireplace, even if it was not a substitute for Remus’ warmth during the cold nights of december, it was the best you found. 

The quiet crack of the wood being burned and the weight of your blankets lulled you to sleep, your eyes were closed and your breathing slow, you were finally falling asleep when the weight of another body made the couch shift. 

“Y/N '' your name was called very quietly, barely above a whisper, but you could recognise the voice anywhere. 

“Remus” your eyes opened and you sat up, straightening yourself

Remus was sitting right next to you, far enough for his thighs to not touch you, but close enough for you to be able to read his expression in the dark room .

“Can we please talk?” He was fidgeting with his hands, clearly nervous of how this conversation was going to go. 

You hugged yourself before nodding. Then a beat of silence 

“I’m sorry.” you both said at the same time. Another silence took over the room before you both chuckled awkwardly. 

“I’m really sorry Y/N, I shouldn’t have cut you off like that. I was scared and I was impulsive, I know I can’t excuse my behaviour, and you don’t have to forgive me but I needed you to know.” He took a deep breath before continuing 

“I have never felt what I feel for you before, and only the thought of you leaving because of my lycanthropy terrified me. And the moment you confronted me about it I thought it was better if I was the one leaving. But I regretted it the moment I saw the tears in your eyes, and when you walked out of the door all I wanted was to take my words back. And I regret it every time I see you across the great hall instead of next to me. Words can’t begin to show how sorry I am.” 

Remus was now crying, he wasn’t the only one, your eyes had started to water the moment he started talking. You took his hand on yours before speaking. 

“It’s okay Rem, I forgive you. And I’m sorry if I ever made you feel like I would hate you for being you” you said sincerely. 

There was a brief moment of silence in which you looked each other in the eyes, they were filled with tears, but also love. You swore no one had ever looked at you like that before.

"Can we try again, please?" He asked 

You didn't even answer, throwing yourself at his arms, which embraced you with the familiar warmth you desperately craved. 

"I've missed you so much, please never leave again" you sobbed into his chest 

"I won't, I promise" he said, placing a kiss on your temple. 

Maybe Remus should listen to Sirius' advice more often if they were going to help him get the love of his life back. 

Author's note: I'm so proud of this one I think it's super duper cute. I'm also dying with uni work at the moment, wish me luck, love u all <33 Thank you for reading! Likes, comments and reblogs are welcomed and very appreciated To be part of the taglist Dm me or send me an ask <3 Series' taglist: @feral-posts @izuoyarmin @aremuslupinsimp @yourfavgay @imobsessedwitholiviarodrigo 

#remus lupin x reader #marauders x reader #marauders fandom #marauders fanfiction #marauders fic #marauders era #remus lupin imagine #remus lupin fic #remus fanfic #remus x reader #remus lupin #remus x you #remus lupin x you #marauders #remus lupin x y/n

[pathetic-sapphic]

Arcane characters and aftercare?👀🤤

Aftercare with the Arcane characters

VI likes to make sure you have everything you need and pampers you as if you are royalty. She feeds you bits of chocolate, makes sure you drink water and cleans you up. Afterwards, she likes to cuddle with you and discuss what the whole experience was like for you. She always needs to make sure you were completely okay with everything she did and wants to know if there is anything new you'd like to try next time. Vi's goal is to please you and make you feel good, so seeing how happy and relaxed you are after the deed is done means the world to her.

Just like that, baby, drink up. Don't want you to get dehydrated haha, I know that took a lot out of you. Here, have some chocolate, I got you your favorite. No need to thank me, you know I'd do anything for you, sweetheart. So, how was it? I wasn't too rough, was I? Do you want me to be more gentle next time? I know you like it rough but I don't want to risk hurting you, okay? Good, now just relax and let me take care of you, baby.

JINX is always bursting with energy after the two of you are done. She has a lot of stamina so you need to remind her that you cannot keep up with her and that you need rest. So she directs all her energy and focus into taking care of you. She gets very clingy after sex and keeps running her hands all over your exhausted and flushed body, she loves the way it makes you whine so softly. Drags you off into the shower and then lets you take a nap on the couch while she goes out to buy some takeout for the two of you. She is very quick as she doesn't want to make her sweetheart wait for her long and when she comes back, she feeds you and cuddles with you on the couch. Always lets you know how much she appreciates the trust and love you give her.

What is it, toots? Don't tell me I already wore you out? Okay okay, let me just cuddle with you for a bit and then we'll go shower, sound good? Of course it does! Tell you what, how about after we shower I make a quick run to Jericho's and get you your favorite? Gotta spoil my little trinket, you're just too cute! Consider it a reward for being so good for me today, alright? Hey, don't go hiding that pretty face from me, baby! Aw, you're so red it's adorable, makes me want to pinch your cheeks. But really, you were so good for me today, yknow that? Good, I'd hate for you to think any differently.

CAITLYN never wants you to worry about anything, especially when you're this vulnerable and tired. She brings you food and something to drink, rubs healing salve on any sore places and carries you to take a bath. She'll have you sit in her lap while softly washing your hair and body, leaving soft kisses all over your flushed face. Goes heavy on praise because she needs you to know just how good you were for her and how you made her feel good too. As strict and demanding she can be during sex, she is as sweet as honey during aftercare.

You were so perfect for me, darling. You made me feel so good and I'm so proud of you. Lean your head back for me please, I'd hate to get shampoo in your beautiful eyes. There, thank you love, doesn't that feel nice? You're always so good for me that I can't help but want to spoil you afterwards. Oh, you are so darling when you blush, come here let me kiss those red cheeks. You are absolutely adorable!

You have no idea what your satisfied sighs and fucked-out expression do to EKKO's heart, do you? He loves witnessing just how good he made you feel and always needs to know he's treating you right. Loves laying in bed with you for hours, sharing sleepy kisses and meaningful glances. He likes to make small talk to make sure you are alright and that you're not too sore. If Ekko notices you wincing when you move, he gives you a gentle massage while kissing the back of your thighs and shoulders. He tells you how much he loves you and how stunning you are. Just the sight of you laying next to him makes his heart feel so warm and his stomach full of butterflies. Little Man appreciates you so much and sees you as his ray of sunshine in the darkness known as the Undercity.

How was that, babe? Did I blow your mind? Haha, guessing by the look you're giving me, I'd say I did. Don't worry, I'll take good care of you. Are you hurting anywhere or feeling sore? Lay on your stomach, I'll give you a nice, relaxing massage. You were pretty amazing too, you know that, firefly? You always look so pretty and sound so cute, I can't help but fall in love with you all over again. Okay, okay, I'll stop teasing but I want you to know that I love you and I'd do anything for you, alright? Good, just relax now, I'm here.

SILCO is, quite surprisingly, very gentle with you. He knows he can be rough and how taxing it can be on both your mind and body so he showers you with praise afterwards. Lets you cuddle into his side while he lights a cigar and tells you how lovely you are. He will prepare a bath for you along with your favorite snacks and drink. Silco will join you in the bath but only if you ask nicely because he prefers showers and has to go back to work. If he notices you're still feeling vulnerable and needy, he will let you sleep in his lap or on the couch in his office while he does his work. Will occasionally stop just to admire your sleepy face and press a soft kiss into your hair, murmuring a soft 'I love you'.

How are you feeling, darling? I wasn't too rough, was I? Alright, but please do let me know if you ever feel like that or if I unintentionally hurt you. I only want to inflict the kind of pain which brings you pleasure but you already know that. You were wonderful, my love, don't you worry. You're always perfect for me. I had a bath prepared for you so feel free to take your time as I have to go over some documents now. If you start missing me, feel free to join me in my office, beloved. There's always a place for you by my side.

VANDER loves giving praise and body worshipping his partner both during and after sex. He'll support himself on his side with his arm while gently caressing your face and hair with the other one. He'll gently murmur how beautiful you are and how lucky he is to have you. Despite his size, Vander is an extremely gentle and caring man, something which he never fails to show around you. He also loves making you laugh as it's the most beautiful sound he has ever been blessed to hear so he will often gently tickle your side or tell jokes. Loves kissing the bruises his hands and mouth left on you, always checking with you whether or not they hurt. Because of the kids, the two of you rarely have time for such activities so Vander makes sure to make each and every opportunity incredibly special and intimate.

Look at you, my darlin'. I keep askin' myself just what have I done to deserve someone as lovely and stunning as you. You are amazing, you know that? You always make me feel so good and I hope I managed to return that favor. I'm sorry we don't get to do this more often but that makes it all the more special, don't you think? Looking at you spread out so beautifully next to me makes my head go all fuzzy, I'll never understand how an old sod such as myself managed to find someone as sweet and alluring as you. Sleep now, love, you deserve to rest. I love you so much, never forget that.

SEVIKA could never get tired of the feeling of your body against hers, so she'll often have you rest on her lap while she sits against the headboard and smokes. She'll draw gentle circles against your thigh with her free hand, admiring the marks she left all over your pretty, pliant body. Will gladly share her cigar with you if you ask her for it, thinks you look adorable when you try to inhale the smoke and fail miserably. She'll pat your back and take her cigar back, telling you to just relax against her until she's finished after which the two of you will take a nice, hot shower. Always asks about how it was for you because she knows she did well and made you see stars but hearing it from you makes pride swell up in her chest. Loves focusing on your pleasure and making you feel good even though she can be rough at times. But Sevika makes sure to make up for any roughness by taking good care of you afterwards.

Just like that, baby, just relax against me. There's no rush, we have all the time in the world. Hand me my lighter, will you? Thank you, sweetness. You want to take a drag? Go ahead but try not to choke haha. What did I tell you, baby, bitter stuff like this aren't meant for some as cute and sweet as you. I'd hate to have my darling choke on anything other than my fingers or stra- Okay okay, no need to be embarrassed, you certainly weren't before. Alright, I'll stop teasing for now, the last thing I want is to have my baby be cross with me so just rest and I promise I'll wash your hair later, sound good? Of course it does, I know all my darling's weak spots.

Oh, this sweet, sweet man. VIKTOR needs to feel your closeness and warmth after you two do it. He loves engulfing your form with his arms and just holding you for a while. He often craves reassurance, needs to know he made you feel good and loved. Your pleasure and enjoyment are a top priority to him and he often doubts his ability to satisfy you because of his health issues. But with how attentive and careful he is, you know he could never make you feel anything less than amazing and he needs you to tell him that. He loves feeling your warmth against him and proposes a bath after the two of you catch your breath. You both wash each other's hair and bodies, making ridiculous shapes with the foam and blowing bubbles all around you. What follows is a soft make out session filled with gentle, wandering touches and tender praise.

Was that alright for you, ljubavi moja? Are you feeling okay? Good, lay down with me for a bit? I just need to feel you next to me, you always make me feel so warm and loved. You were truly wonderful just now, you never cease to amaze me. I am so lucky to have someone so wonderful as my partner, I love you more than anything. Yes, even more than Hextech haha. Your love and care made me realize that there is much more to life than just work and I'll be forever grateful to you for that. Now, how about we take a bath after which we can cuddle as much as you want, alright? Oh, but, can I get a kiss first?

translation: ljubavi moja - my love

#arcane #arcane headcanons #arcane x reader #arcane sevika #sevika x reader #arcane viktor #viktor x reader #arcane vi #vi x reader #arcane caitlyn #caitlyn x reader #arcane jinx #jinx x reader #arcane ekko #ekko x reader #arcane silco #silco x reader #arcane vander #vander x reader #requests are open

[justporo]

Even more fluffy relationship headcanons for Astarion and Tav

Listen guys, I'm not done yet. For now, as soon as I get one idea out, three more pop up in my mind and since you guys seem to really like these (it's seriously and positively insane to me), I'll happily provide you more as long as I am able to. So, let's-a go: more headcanons and little ideas about them being together!

(Gif from here!)

You love when Astarion smiles at you - just openly and full of joy; the sort of smile you've rarely seen from him during your adventures but they keep getting more and more, also they make him look just so young and carefree and beautiful and your heart just... melts

When Astarion quickly notices how you basically faint whenever he does this, he starts employing it to work his charms on you when he needs it - not the real big and joyous smiles though because they are so real and cherished to him he wouldn't dare use it to tease or manipulate you - they're only reserved to make you happy

Charming you is like breathing to Astarion though, you are just so helpless against his flattery and flirting because why would you resist if you could just give him everything that makes him happy?

When you mention once though that you'd hope to gain some immunity to it some time, Astarion is insulted: "No, love, making you blush is my favourite thing in the world. You are so beautiful with your cheeks all flushed. As long as I have a say in it, we will never stop!"

Tav likes teasing him just as much as Astarion enjoys it the other the way around: "You know if you would stop drawing your brows together all the time, it'd take fifty years off your face immediately." Moments of silence in which Astarion is just utterly shocked by your burn, then: "Who taught you to be this brutal, darling?" You raise an eyebrow at him, he helplessly lifts his arms: "Yeah right, I have only myself to blame."

Also, Astarion and Tav are definitely the kind of power couple that throw each other meaningful sassy looks when they're with other people and those are talking shit or something

Also, afterwards they will most definitely discuss and gossip over everything they experienced

Astarion is definitely the kind of man that would shower Tav with gifts, from coming home with a single beautiful flower that "reminded me of you, my beautiful blossom" ("How cheesy..." "Ah, so rather a gouda next time?") or a nice bottle of wine to share to bigger gestures like jewelry or expensive dresses ("When am I ever gonna wear this, Astarion?" "I don't know, we'll just make an opportunity!")

Tav loves all of his gifts but probably the small ones or the hand-crafted ones the most, she's happy with the little things but Astarion insists she deserves the big ones just as much

One time though, Astarion comes home with something else entirely; it's pouring outside and he's completely drenched and hiding something in his doublet jacket; "What do you have there, Astarion, a wheel of cheese?" Astarion carefully opens up his jacket to reveal a small white kitten that is just as drenched as him and is desperately trying to cling to the vampire's chest. "I found her all alone in a dark alleyway, cold and completely soaked, I thought maybe we could take care of her and she could be friends with Scratch?", he says while he carefully lifts up the small ball of fluff with an incredible softness in his eyes. Your heart is thoroughly melting as you walk over to them and you give Astarion the most loving of kisses

Well, the last one would almost be a drabble on it's own, I saw a similar post that made me think of this (I will find and tag them later!) Hope you enjoyed and I'm late for work now, whoops...

This is the post I mentioned before, by @mushy6902 (I hope it's okay I wrote a somewhat similar idea, thanks for inspiring me!)

#astarion #fanfiction #astarion ancunin #baldur's gate 3 #baldur's gate iii #baldurs gate #bg3 spoilers #astarion x mc #astarion x oc #astarion x reader #astarion headcanons #headcanons #fluff #domestic fluff #also kittens #poro headcanons

[coldfanbou]

Banding Together

Alright, everyone, here is the fic I was talking about. The first lady you see is Hyun-Jung of Rolling Quartz, while the second is Magenta of QWER. I love both bands and wanted to write them, so here we are with them. Also, yes, the title is a pun because they are both in a band. Please enjoy.

Length 3K

Magenta x Mreader X HyunJung

Sitting at an empty bar, you sip your drink while waiting for your friend. The small chime of the bell alerted you to her entrance. “What took you so long?” You ask, turning to face the door. You note someone else standing with her.

“I was bringing a friend,” she chides, giving you a slight wink. Hyun-Jung wore a simple white dress that suited her well, considering her blonde hair, which turned light blue. You look over and recognize the face. 

“And it’s someone I know.” You finish the last of your drink before ordering another, “Boss, serve the ladies whatever they’d like.” You tell the bartender before standing up. “It’s nice to meet you.” 

“It’s nice to meet you, too. I’m Min-hee.” She greets you, bowing slightly. Min-hee wears a white button-up shirt, a low black vest, and a gray skirt.

“I know. You’re Magenta of Qwer. How do you know Hyun-Jung?” 

“We started talking a while ago. I really like her music, and I complimented her online. We started talking a little afterward, and we’ve gone out a few times.” 

“That’s great. It’s nice to know Hyun-Jung had friends.” Hyun-Jung slaps your shoulder before taking a seat next to you. 

“Boss, the most expensive drink you have,” she says, eyeing you. Shaking your head, you sit back down in your seat. Magenta sits next to Hyun-Jung. “Oh, make it two, Boss.” Hyun-Jung giggles as she puts one hand on Magenta’s shoulder. “We’re going to drink all night!” She says, happy as can be. Sighing in response, you down your drink. 

“Have you two ever played together? I mean, Hyun-Jung is a guitarist, and you're a bassist, Magenta.” 

Magenta shakes her head, “We haven’t played together at all. We mostly go to karaoke and sing our hearts out. Plus, I still stream…”

“What does that have to do with anything?” Magenta lets out a slight snort before giggling. “I just mean that you two could still play together for fun.”

Magenta waves you off, “I get it, I get it. You just said that so plainly.” She grabs her drink, wrapping her lips around the straw and taking a sip before continuing. “We just like to relax together, so we go out to sing.”

Hyun-Jung interrupts your conversation, leaning forward to block your line of sight of Magenta. “Am I just a third wheel on your guys' date?” She bangs her fist against the counter. “Don’t just ignore me.” Hyun-Jung’s anger makes you both laugh. 

“Oh, relax. We’re just chatting.” Hyun-Jung huffs and down the last of her drink. “Take your time drinking; you know how you can get.”

“I’ll be fine. You have to watch out for Min-hee. She’s the one that gets wild.” 

Magenta shakes her friend, “I’m not that bad!” She whines. Hyun-Jung laughs, knowing she’s getting to her friend. 

The three of you stay at the bar until late into the night. Both women were drunk after the many drinks they had at your expense. “I know I said today was on me, but couldn’t you two have taken it a little easy?” 

“No, free drinks are free drinks,” Hyun-Jung says, hiccups overtaking her as she stumbles out of the bar. Magenta wasn’t fairing much better, holding onto Hyun-Jung before falling to the ground. Her face was red, and she continued to pull on Hyun-Jung’s white dress from the ground. Hyun-Jung grabbed the end of her dress, pulling back on it. “You’re going to make everything spill out!” She yelled. What she said was true, though; Magenta’s pulling nearly made one of Hyun-Jung’s tits pop out of her dress. 

“I need help!” Magenta whined. Her previously pristine outfit was dirtied from the fall, and the wine she had spilled on herself earlier. As you looked down at the fallen woman, you glanced at her cleavage. Magenta had unbuttoned her shirt just a little in an attempt to dry her shirt. 

You squat down in front of the drunk woman, “Come on, I’ll carry you to the station.” Magenta sniffles before letting go of Hyun-Jung’s dress and climbing you. You grip her thighs tightly as you stand up, feeling her arms tighten their grip around you as she presses herself against you.  

“You live nearby; let’s stay at your house.” Hyun-Jung’s says as she wraps her arms around yours to support herself. 

“Are you sure? Magenta, what do you think?”

“I wouldn’t mind staying with you.” She says softly. 

“Alright, then. Let’s get going.” 

Along the way home, you feel Magenta rubbing against you. Hyun-Jung seemed completely unaware as Magenta planted her lips on your neck. “Thanks for the night out. Is there any way I could pay you back?” She whispered, adding extra emphasis to any. “I’m sure I could find a good way once we get to your home.” 

Magenta kissed your neck again, her soft lips lingering there. You felt her small tongue lick your neck; it sent a shiver down your spine. You stayed silent, not wanting to give her any attention. “Hey, are we there yet?” Hyun-Jung asked as if to remind you she was there, too. 

“Nearly there, Hyun-Jung.” You continue walking, your arms getting tired from carrying the flirty Magenta.

“I’m getting cold,” Hyun-Jung complained. 

“This is why I told you to bring a jacket,” you reply, nearing your apartment. “Just hold on a little longer. We’re nearly there.” Once you entered the main building, you let Magenta down. “You can walk the rest of the way. I’m getting a little tired.” 

Magenta rests against you, her arms wrapping themselves around your neck. You feel her rub her leg against yours as she brings it up. “What if you carried me like this?” She says in a low voice, jumping up and wrapping her legs around your waist. The sudden weight nearly brings you both down, forcing you to react. You place your hands on her ass as you take a step forward, attempting to balance yourself. Magenta takes the opportunity to shift her weight, smacking your face with her breasts. You’re getting aroused; Magenta was a beautiful woman throwing herself at you.

“Min-Hee! What are you doing?” Hyun-Jung says, trying to get her friend off you.

Magenta clings to you fiercely, “What?! I’m just holding on so he can carry me! Don’t be jealous!” Magenta shakes her head as Hyun-Jung tries to get her off you. After some struggles, Hyun-Jung was able to pry Magenta off you. Magenta pouts as she sits on the cold floor, “You just want him for yourself.”

“That’s not true. I don’t even want him.” The words sting a little, but you know it wasn’t meant as an insult. You grab Magenta’s hand and pull her to her feet before continuing to your apartment. 

You each slip your shoes off at the entrance before heading further inside your home. “I’m going to the bathroom,” Hyun-Jung says, leaving you and Magenta alone. You take a seat on your couch and shut your eyes for a moment, tired from carrying the drunk woman. Magenta stays rooted to where she’s standing, her hands behind her back as she spins from side to side. After the door to the bathroom shuts, she looks down, unbuttoning her vest before walking over to you. You only notice when you feel her straddle you; opening your eyes, you meet hers. Magenta presses her lips against yours; her delicate hands cup your cheeks before sliding down your neck and moving toward your hands. At your wrists, she brings your hands to her tiny waist. Magenta breaks the kiss, a small strand of saliva keeping you connected as she places her hands on your chest. 

“I’m going to repay you,” She says with a sly smile. She kisses you again as her hands move down to your pants, undoing your belt and pulling your dick out. Magenta’s hand moves slowly down your shaft, making you groan into her kiss. You snake your hands under her shirt, feeling her smooth skin as your hands move up her sides. Blocked by her black bra, your hands reach around her, unlatching it. “Naughty boy,” Magenta whispers as her grip tightens. Magenta uses her other hand to rub the head of your cock, her thumb moving across the tip, becoming covered in a layer of precum. 

You open up the rest of her shirt as she strokes your cock. You cup the underside of one of her tits, shaking it slightly and watching it jiggle as your other hand rubs her thigh. Magenta’s light moans turn you on. As she kisses you again, you pull her closer, feeling the heat coming from her core. Magenta pulls her shirt off and breaks the kiss. Pressing her tits against her chest, you lean forward, kissing her neck as she places her hands on your shoulders. “I can feel your cock twitching.” Magenta coos. She looks down at you, smiling as she pushes your head away. She reaches down, grabs it, and moves her hand along the shaft slowly, “I know you want to be inside me already, but you have to be patient.” She says, getting off you and kneeling. She spreads your legs apart slowly, sneaking in between them. 

Grabbing your cock again, she moves her hand up and down the shaft, smiling as she feels the warmth from it. Watching it leak precum, Magenta leans in and drags her tongue along the head. “Mmm, nice and salty.” She says before taking another lick; this time, Magenta wraps her lips around the head, her tongue swirling around it. You throw your head back and moan. Magetna’s small tongue teases you, going around the tip of your cock, only to stop midway and go in the other direction. Magenta slowly bobs her head, turning it slightly so your cock rubs the inside of her cheek. She pops you out of her mouth for a brief second, “Do you like it?” She says, continuing to stroke your cock.

“What are you two doing?!” Hyun-Jung yells, returning from the bathroom.

“What do you think?” Magenta says before she drags her tongue along the underside of your shaft. “I’m giving our host a nice treat.” Magenta stuffs her mouth with your cock, bobbing her head and turning her complete focus over to you. Hyun-Jung stands there in complete shock as Magenta continues to pleasure you, her tongue coating your cock in a layer of saliva. Feeling your orgasm coming, Magenta focuses on the head, running her tongue back and forth across the tip, making you squirm. Your hips start to move uncontrollably as you near your orgasm; Magenta’s gentle hand tries to keep you still as her tongue laps at your cock.

“Magneta, I’m cumming,” You groan as you buck your hips. Magenta sucks on the head, feeling your warm cum coat her tongue as she milks you by stroking your shaft. Hyun-Jung watches as Magenta’s throat flexes and relaxes as she drinks your cum. She feels a growing wetness in her panties as she watches the scene unfold. Her right-hand moves down her dress, rubbing her folds as she watches Magenta pull away and show you an empty mouth. 

Magenta glances over at Hyun-Jung; seeing her friend getting active, she draws attention to it. “I guess you want some, too, huh, Hyun-Jung,” She says, slapping her face with your limp cock. Hyun-Jung gulps, unable to say a word. “It’s okay; you don’t have to say anything. Just come over here. I’ll even make room for you.” Magenta scoots to the side and waves Hyun-Jung closer. She remains standing in place momentarily, considering her options before eventually moving toward you. She kneels before your, eyeing your cock. “I have just the thing to get this little guy hard again,” Magenta announces before pulling on Hyun-Jung’s dress, getting her tits out. Only now did you see Hyun-Jung hadn’t been wearing a bra. “There we go.” She says with a proud smile on her face. “Now we just do this,” Magenta presses her tits against your cock and pulls Hyun-Jung to do the same. Magenta presses her tits against Hyun-Jung’s, trapping your cock in the middle as they begin to move. You can feel their nipples rub against your cock. Hyun-Jung watches you carefully, listening to your moans. The women feel your cock come back, growing hard between their tits. 

“It’s back,” Magenta says to herself. Hyun-Jung, I’ll let you go first.” Hyun-Jung is taken aback by Magenta’s words. She hadn’t expected her friend to give her the first chance. The pair stand up, with Magenta getting behind Hyun-Jung. She raised the bottom of Hyun-Jung’s dress, revealing her white panties. “Aww, look at you trying to look pure, unnie.” The teasing makes Hyun-Jung blush, and the redness on her face gets stronger as Magenta moves her panties to the side. “Look at this little pussy. Aren’t you a lucky man?” Magenta says as she pushes Hyun-Jung onto you. Magenta helps you and Hyun-Jung along, aligning you with her cunt and pushing her friend onto your cock. 

“O-oh,” Hyu-Jung lets out a staggered moan as she feels your cock enter her. Magenta’s lips on the back of her neck arouse her further, and as you begin to move Hyun-Jung’s voice reigns free, filling the room as you stuff her with your cock. Magenta toys with her friend, squeezing her tits as Hyun-Jung bounces on your cock. You grip Hyun-Jung’s waist, your hands digging into her soft flesh as you pull her down. You nip at the other side of her neck, giving her more pleasure. With the mass of hands and lips touching her Hyun-Jung begins to lose herself to the pleasure, her warm walls squeeze down on your cock. 

“Unnie, it looks like you’re having a lot of fun. Do you like riding him that much?” 

“Mhmm, I-I love it.” Magenta plants her lips on Hyun-Jung’s while continuing to play with her tits. Her fingers trapping Hyun-Jung’s nipples and pulling them taut, making the older woman moan. 

“I love playing with you, unnie. Your tits are so soft.” Magenta whispers into Hyun-Jung’s ear. “You don’t mind if I get a taste, do you?” 

“What?” Hyun-Jung mumbles before feeling Magenta latch onto her tit. She looks down to see her friend suckling on her tit, feeling Magenta’s tongue swirl around her nipple. You do the same, getting her other nipple. Hyun-Jung holds you both to her chest, keeping you in place and becoming a moaning mess. Her cunt holds you tightly, clamping down around your head as she nears her climax. “Shit, I’m cumming.” You squeeze Hyun-Jung; her soft body is perfect for it. Your thrusts continue to speed up, your cock twitching wildly inside her. You bury your cock inside Hyun-Jung, holding her down as your cum paints her walls white. Hyun-Jung cries out as she feels the hot cum rush into her body; she grinds against you taking every drop. 

Magenta watches on happily, eagerly awaiting her turn. She rubs her clit through her panties, whimpering as she has to wait for Hyun-Jung to get off you. 

You kiss Hyun-Jung as you feel her walls squeeze the tip of your cock for more. She returns it, her tongue lazily tracing your lips as you help her off. Hyun-Jung falls back onto the floor, her legs too weak to hold her up. 

Seeing this, Magenta has a lightbulb moment. She crawls over the tired woman, coming face-to-face with Hyun-Jung. Magenta looks over her shoulder to you, raising her ass and arching her back. She shakes it from side to side, telling you to hurry up. You kneel down, holding her tiny waist with one hand while the other moves her panties to the side. Magenta was ready, her cunt slick with her nectar. You can push in with ease, sliding into the deepest parts. Magenta muffled her moans by kissing Hyun-Jung. The older woman could barely return the kiss and let Magenta explore her mouth. You gave Magenta hard thrusts, impaling her. You snuck your hands around her body, squeezing one of her tits and flicking her clit with the other hand. Magenta pushed her ass against you, loving how your cock was ruining her. She held Hyun-Jung’s hands, holding them by the older woman’s head as she forced her tongue into her mouth.  “You’re so tight, Magenta.” You groan. Magenta’s cunt felt like it was tightening around you with every thrust. As you played with her clit, you could feel her tight abs as your forearm rubbed against them. It seemed like she had trained her entire body.

You pull away slowly, holding her waist as you ram your cock into her cunt. Magenta’s moans slowly grow louder despite using Hyun-Jung to silence them. You raise one of your hands high into the air and bring it down on her ass, a deafening clap filling the room. Magenta felt the lingering sting on her ass. Her eyes began to roll into the back of her head as you delivered another strike. Magenta was forced to break her kiss with Hyun-Jung. She began to lap at the older woman’s neck hungrily. “Unnie, I’m going to cum. I’m gonna cum!” She cried out, her grip on Hyun-Jung tightening as her walls clamped down on your cock. Magenta pressed her ass against you, making your cock kiss her womb as she came. Your thrusts continued for another moment before you drove it deep into Magenta and filled her cunt with the first shot of cum. You pulled out and stroked your cock, painting her toned back with your cum before falling back.

You all lay on the floor, tired and wasted from the night. The next morning you woke up to the sight of the women holding each other, with Magenta suckling on Hyun-Jung’s tit as she slept. Magenta still had your cum on her back while Hyun-Jung lay in a pool of it.  Hyun-Jung’s dress would be ruined, while Magenta’s clothes were relatively untouched. You got up slowly and shook them both awake. Magenta smiled as she saw the near-naked  Hyun-Jung. “Unnie, last night was fun. We should do it again.” She said with a smile. Magenta looked at you and winked, telling you she wanted more times like last night. 

Hyun-Jung shook her head slowly, “Never again. This hangover is killing me.” She said, not realizing she was half-naked and filled with cum.

#kpop smut #male reader #m reader #Rolling Quartz smut #Choi HyunJung smut #Magenta smut #qwer smut

[babywriter]

Janine liked to go to school diapered. It turned her on. It also took quite a bit of courage to do so as she was terrified anybody would find out her little secret. There had been a few close calls, but by now Janine had grown comfortable with her choice of underwear. She had also grown complacent and less worried about hiding it. So what if someone she didn’t know would see the waistband of a medical diaper? This was college and she was free. It did become more problematic when someone she did know ended up seeing it.

While Janine was picking her books up, she carelessly showed the tip of her padded underwear to Brenda. Brenda was not a friend. In High School, she had been a mean girl who had gleefully spread rumors about Janine. Of course, Brenda bursted out laughing when she saw the diaper.

“Oh my god. This is-WOW. You are such a baby, Janine.” A little too loud perhaps as people wondered what was going on. Janine looked troubled when she stood up.

“What?” she asked.

“Oh I think we need to talk.” said Brenda. She grabbed Janine’s hand and led her out of the class.

“What are you doing? Let me go.” Janine remained steadfastly calm as she didn’t want to provoke the other girl.

“I know what I saw.” said Brenda. “You didn’t need diapers before.”

“So what if I didn’t?”

“I’m just saying. It would be a shame if others found out…”

“Please don’t.” asked Janine. In hindsight, this was a terrible reaction as Brenda now held all the cards.

“Oh I shouldn’t, should I? Why not, huh? There’s nothing to be ashamed of by being a little miss pottypants. You know, what I’d love to do? Change your little diaper butt!”

“You won’t.”

“Yes, I will. I should probably check if you’re dry right now…”

“No, stop! Get away from me!”

“My, my. Baby has wet herself. We are definitely going to your place.”

Obviously, this wasn’t really optional, and Janine only begrudginly accepted so that Brenda would go away afterwards. Janine had an apartment to herself, which meant that she could openly indulge. A baby bottle in the kitchen, a few toys scattered here and there, a ridiculous amount of stuffies. Subtle signs that gave it away. Brenda looked at her victim with glee.

“Oh this is much better than my dorm. You must love it here. No mommy to tell you to clean up after yourself.”

The worst part was when Brenda went through Janine’s closet. Onesies, footie pyjamas, loads of diaper packs with adorable prints, little dresses and skirts.

“This is all so cute! I didn’t know you were such a cute little baby! We should tell everyone, don’t you think?”

“Brenda, please. You’ve done enough. Can’t you act like an adult and start minding your own business?”

“I need to start acting like an adult? I’m not the one pissing myself, baby. In fact, I think I should inform everyone.”

“NO!” Janine stomped her foot and laid down the law. This was not going to happen.

“No? YOU don’t get to say no, baby girl.” Brenda wrestled Janine’s pants away from her and put the girl on her lap, spanking her well-padded bottom until she started to cry. Pain was only a small part, there was also the humiliation and a surprising amount of excitement. This strange and contradictory mixture of emotions is what made her cry.

“If you act like a good little girl.” said Brenda. “You will be a very happy baby, but if you make mommy mad, you will NEVER live it down. Is that understood?”

Janine nodded while sobbing.

Brenda immediately moved in to become Janine’s around-the-clock caregiver. And just as quickly, Janine was forced into the 24/7 lifestyle she had fantasized about. Everything was done for her and an extreme set of rules was also put in place. Like wearing diapers and baby clothes at all times or only being able to “make cummies” if mommy deemed her diaper sufficiently dirty. And she had to beg for them while showing off how used her diaper was. The cummies were mommy’s business too. Only mommy could use the vibrator on Janine’s diaper. While Janine was forced into this lifestyle, she still went about her daily activities. Brenda had wanted them to go on. Thus, Janine went to school diapered and wearing a short girlish dress that barely covered the padding. In the front and in the back, there was a noticeable bulge, revealing that Janine perhaps wasn’t wearing normal underwear.

In the hallways, Janine was forced to hold Brenda’s hand. Not only that, she was constantly flushed from the looks she was getting. She did not relax until she was seated in the massive auditorium, where she could have some privacy by sitting in the back. Yet, when she felt she needed to go, she did not hesitate for one second as Mommy had trained her well. It is unfortunate that after the class, a friend of Janine came to see her. The diaper, well-used, now sagged just under the dress.

“Hi! How...are you?” said the friend.

“I-” Janine began.

“Baby, put your thumb in your mouth. She’s doing super well!” answered Brenda in her place.

The friend nodded and went away immediately after. Whatever this was, she wanted no part of it.

Naturally, Janine began to cry, thumb in her mouth. 

“Do you need your diaper changed?” asked Brenda, loud enough for any passerby to hear. The woman put her hand on Janine’s butt and squished it. “Yes, you do!”

Whispers of “what’s wrong with her” could be heard. For some reason, this broke Janine. It was all in the open so why resist?

“Mommy, I wanna go home.” she said. Teary, her whole thumb in her mouth, raising her dress with the other hand so everyone could see her diaper.

Janine’s reaction was marvelous as far as Brenda was concerned. Now, the girl was all hers.

“We can’t leave yet, baby. You haven’t done your cummies.”

“Please mommy, no…” Janine was absolutely desperate to avoid at least that.

“No, perhaps it’d be better in front of your parents…”

Under this thinly veiled threat, Janine began to rub the front of her diaper with great vigor. The first and only time she had been allowed to touch herself, even if through her underwear. The thick padding made it especially challenging. So did the crowd of onlookers. Perverts in their own rights for watching, and filming, Janine. Finally, she moaned loudly.

“I made cummies mommy!” she nearly screamed in a high pitch lisp.

“Good job, baby! I won’t bring you here again, I promise” Brenda said with a grin.

Indeed, Janine never went to college again. Instead, she was kept at home. Forced to use her diapers, she grew dependent on them. Forced to ask permission to make cummies, always while wearing a used diaper and often in public. Truly, a baby that was shown off at every opportunity. And all that humiliation just kept making Janine hornier.

#ab/dl caption #ab/dl girl #ab/dl community #ab/dl #ab/dl fiction #diaper captions #ab/dl stories #diaper stories #ab/dl babygirl

[cultofdixon]

Secrets kept for another’s safety, until you lose it

Daryl Dixon • She/Her Pronouns • Some Saviors just can’t let go and go for what’s important to Daryl Dixon. But little did he know about more than losing his partner. • ANGST/SFW • TW: Pregnancy / Injuries / Anxiety Attacks / Blood loss

Requested by: Anon

Just because the Saviors War is over, doesn’t mean it’s completely dealt with. People have their vendettas and everyone will forever be scarred by the actions of Negan, apart of the Saviors or not.

When Negan was taken to prison instead of hell, the group decided that it would be best to have shifts of their people to watch The Sanctuary until they’ve fixed everything. Or until they put someone in there for a more permanent position.

After a month in and it was Daryl and Y/N’s turn to watch the place. Both having their own imprisonment to the place because of Negan. So they weren’t all too happy to be back. But the night gave them time to themselves.

Which led them on the roof this night…

“What’s going on in that pretty little head of yours?” Daryl asks, putting the joint back to his lips watching Y/N finish putting up the last of their clothes on the clothesline. “You haven’t talked in a bit”

“Am I really that talkative?” She laughs softly, tossing the extra pins in the empty laundry basket. “I’m just enjoying the night with my husband. What else more could I ask for?”

“Could go dark on yea and say for Negan to be dead”

“Well you’re not the only one wanting that” Y/N sat on the stool while Daryl laid on a mattress they had brought up there. Neither of them want to live inside the walls anymore. “Can we just think toward the future?”

“We can” Daryl pushed himself to sit up, offering the joint to her as she shook her head. He stared a bit confused before shrugging it off. “Again, sunshine…what’s going on in that beautiful mind of yours?”

Y/N fell silent once more before looking out toward the woods trying to find a good start to what she wants to talk about.

“You remember when you first held Judith?”

“Lil’ Ass kicker, yeah?”

“Do you remember what you told me afterward? When you handed her off to Hershel?”

The confused look on his face gave her answer.

“You said I don’t think I’d be cut out for this if I were Rick.”

“Why are yea bringing that up now? Are you—-“

“No!…No…” Y/N visibly slumped. “It’s just. The threat is gone. We have a home that is ours. Walls to protect us from the dead…we could. Do it. Have a child. Have that future…”

Give Daryl some credit when he has thought about this before. Having a child with his wife…all of their love put into a single human being. But all the anxieties that came with that thought flooded his mind.

“I don’t wanna lose you like Rick lost Lori” For something that happened years ago, it still haunted him. Especially with the scares they’ve had before a true moment of peace came.

“Daryl…that…that was going to happen to Lori regardless…she had a c-section with Carl, any baby after that was bound to come out the same way. This would be a first for me. We could prevent the possibility of needing a c-section”

“But there’s still a chance. I…” Daryl stopped himself to avoid her eyes and hang his head not ever wanting to think about that possibility. But then again…what was he going to do? “I just can’t” he whispers which led Y/N to bring herself to his level and coax his gaze back onto her. “I can’t lose you…I…I’ve lost enough and everything about how I’d be a terrible father aside I won’t be able to raise our child alone if I lost you…I will always need you”

As much as it broke Y/N’s heart to know his feelings and to have to push aside hers because the last thing she would want is to lose or hurt her husband…the tears fell from her eyes as she presses her forehead against his.

“Okay. Okay…You won’t lose me. Ever. I’m here…just me” Y/N brought her arms around his shoulders bringing her face into the crook of his neck as Daryl wrapped his arms tightly around her holding her close.

The things you do for love will always be something…that will always be changing

About four months later…

Y/N finally emerges from the basement living she and Daryl live in under the Grimes’s residence. She gave a smile to Michonne who said “good morning” in her arrival watching her friend join her and Judith at the kitchen island.

“Think you can handle breakfast?”

“Yes, I think I finally got over that ill spell” Y/N took a seat at one of the barstools smiling to Judith beside her before drawing her attention to the quick footsteps making their descend down the stairs.

“Hey! You’re up here, how yea feeling? Yknow Daryl—-“

“Has been having you ask every day since I came back from the Sanctuary not feeling well. I’m doing okay. Better than before”

“Great to hear that, I’ll tell Daryl in person when I make my rounds to the other communities” Rick smiles approaching Judith who was happy to see her dad. “First thing, take this little one to the teacher to watch her while we’re all out”

Michonne gave Y/N a confused look as she tiredly turned to her lifting her head from her hand.

“I’m gonna work in the pantry. So I don’t feel entirely useless”

“You’re allowed to take it easy” Michonne was stern with her words which brought the confusion out of Rick’s expression while he picked up Judith heading toward the door.

“I think I’ll be fine” Y/N shot a stern look at her friend as Michonne instantly waited for the front door to close, ultimately for Rick to leave. “The baby will be fine”

“Y/N, when are you going to tell Daryl so this doesn’t have been a secret between you and I? You’ve mentioned about a conversation you had with him that doesn’t quite add up to the fact that you didn’t——“

“He doesn’t want to have a baby.” Y/N frowns forming fists as she had the habit of digging her nails into her flesh to avoid the crying. “He doesn’t want to have a baby with him and I promised I wouldn’t. But I still got knocked up. Now he’s going to lose me or I’m going to lose him” the tears came anyway as the frustration was obvious in the discomfort in her face which led Michonne to maneuver around the island to bring herself beside her friend letting her rest her head on her shoulder as her arms caged her. “All I wanted was a family with the man that I love but the factors of being good enough or dying unexpectedly just floods that man’s mind and hell I can’t blame him for any of it. But now I’m plagued with it while I carry his child”

The two didn’t hear the click of the door finally closing. All that mattered was Michonne comforting her friend until it was time for the day to get started.

“I’ll be helping Gabriel rebuild his chapel with a few Saviors we have taken in for rehabilitation to show they can do something good. We are thinking of making it also the leading to the farm” Michonne stated as she walked Y/N to the pantry. “So I will be around if you need me. I’ll also keep an eye on the saviors. I know what some of them have been saying but we haven’t come across one angry with Rick or Daryl or literally any one of us”

“Are you really trying to say you’re watching out for my safety when I’m gonna be confined to a chair and a notepad for the most part”

“Yes, yes I am. Plus…the infirmary is right next door and I know Siddiq is doing his inventory and preparing shipment of medical supplies we’ve found on the runs we had recently.”

“Michonne”

“Yes?”

“You’re rambling” Y/N laughs opening the door to let herself in. “I’ll holler if I need anything” she says halfway inside when Michonne quickly reminded her about the no heavy lifting which got a scoff out of the woman.

About an hour or two has passed and Y/N groans out of boredom while sitting on the stool in the pantry. She stared out the window watching people walk passed or the few groups carrying wood and metal around for the walls and new buildings. Inventory was done, restock of what they have was done, and she was about to get started on the shipment for the Kingdom when she heard the door open.

“Michonne I really don’t need you watching—-“ Y/N stopped speaking when she watched the unfamiliar man step in quietly, assessing the environment. “Uhm. Can I help you with anything?”

“I was told by that scary priest that we hold the extra building supplies in here on occasion when the shed ain’t organized” He stepped around the pantry looking for himself before looking at Y/N as she couldn’t shake this familiar feeling. “You’ve got nails? Maybe a better hammer than this shit?” The hammer she didn’t notice before only confused her on where he pulled it out from. But asides from that, Y/N got off the chair and went to grab such for him.

“How’s the construction going?”

“It’s going. That Rick guy has us doing a lot just has his woman bossing us around” He scoffs looking at the jarred goods they have while Y/N knelt down to carefully go through a box for a smaller box of nails. “How can you even do what Rick asks y’all to do?”

“Have you even met Rick? He does the right thing, most of the time” Keeping Negan alive was the wrong one.

As Y/N rose to her feet with the box of nails she watched the man pull off the Polaroids that were stuck to the window. Just for a better look but it made her uneasy thinking he was going to get rid of them.

“Family?” He questions lifting up the ones with Glenn and Maggie, watching Y/N nod as he fixated on one with her and Daryl before putting them back. “Find’em?”

“Yeah, here” She handed off the box hearing him thank her before stepping out. But before she could even straighten out the pictures and take a seat, Y/N didn’t hear the door close entirely.

It didn’t take long for what to happen, happen.

The second she rounded the corner…Y/N flinched slightly being up close to the man without a name. She looked down to find a few nails shoved deep into her side. The shock made the pain not come right away and she was still experiencing it while he drove them to the point he couldn’t.

“You are just as dumb as you were back when you were his wife.” He glares into the deep pits of her soul as Y/N lifted her head from watching the blood spill from her side. Her mind racing to one thing. “Rick shoulda killed him. Your bitch dog of a man shoulda killed him. Maybe even the sword lady. Anybody. Then you all would’ve been seen as stronger instead of weak ass beings.”

“I-…I—-“ Y/N felt the tears spill and he grabbed her face to make her force eye contact.

“Let me take you away from everybody and I’ll watch them suffer” then the man quickly removed his hand when he heard voices outside. He pushed her aside but the blood loss led it to be a bit more dramatic as she fell to her knees.

As he made his escape through the back, Y/N slumped against the wall hesitant to touch her side. But they weren’t in prime condition, they could have some traces of rust and she can’t afford an infection if she wants any chance of that surviving.

A few were hard to pull out and one was embedded deep that Y/N contemplated letting it stay in but she was already this far.

Baby.

Baby.

Baby.

Baby.

…

Daryl… Y/N sobbed as she used her knife to cut into her to pull out the last nail that was embedded deep. She had to stop the bleeding so she could go get help and knew she had towels in the other room out of the foyer. But the blood loss was too much that when her weak body crawled about halfway there, it gave out.

“Daryl”

“I know this shithole sucks but yea said you’d be here earlier” Daryl clearly was in a mood while working on his bike, and with Rick only crossing his arms with an annoyed expression after his words. He knew he shouldn’t have expressed all of that. “Sorry. I’m frustrated.”

“Did something happen?”

“No…” Daryl frowns fiddling with a tool in hand. “Y/N hasn’t radio’d me today. Michonne was gonna give hers to my girl so I can check up on her but nothin’”

“I’m sure there’s a good reason for that. Plus I’ve got uh…an update of my own regarding your wife” Now he had to be careful. He did hear everything in the kitchen that morning but Rick isn’t the best at de-escalating the situation.

But it felt like fate for him to be interrupted by his radio in that exact moment.

“Rick—-Are you with Daryl?”

“Gabriel? Yes, why?”

“Michonne—-Hilltop” his end was cutting out and the urgency only stressed the retired sheriff and huntsman. “Bleeding—-Stopped—-Other reasons—-Y/N”

“Gabriel. Who’s injured?!” Rick shouts annoyed as the silence grew for a moment.

“Y/N was found bleeding—-Attacked—-Go to Hilltop”

“Load up. Forget the bike” Rick stated even though the second Daryl heard it was confirmed to be Y/N, he went right into the driver’s seat of Rick’s truck. Rick quickly got in the passengers and didn’t wait another minute to tell Daryl.

The accident happened a few hours ago before Gabriel radio’d Rick. He only comm’d him as per request from Michonne to update him and to get Daryl on their current actions of getting Y/N to the Hilltop. For their ultrasound machine. The one from the Sanctuary got moved to the Kingdom to be repaired by a retired technician.

Y/N sat up in bed in the medical trailer not liking the feeling of the IV in her arm and the antibiotics Siddiq had her on. Made the sick feeling return and the nausea meds never worked on her.

“Daryl is on his way” Michonne frowns sitting in the chair beside her as Maggie sat at the edge of the bed with her hand rested on her calf. Both being protective of her in her current state.

“I didn’t get a name of the guy…”

“Hun we don’t have to do that now” Maggie assured her. “Aaron and Rosita are looking for the guy back home with the description you gave before they moved you here. We don’t have to talk about it at all and focus on you staying alive and healthy”

The tears returned as Y/N pulled her hand away so she could hide her face in them. As she sobbed she didn’t hear the sound outside of 1. The car stopping in front of the trailer. 2. Daryl shouting at a few people. And 3. The sound of a Hilltop resident screaming after Daryl shoved them out of his way to get inside the trailer. The second the door opened and his worry expelled from him, Michonne and Maggie got up from their spots moving so he could get close to his wife.

Michonne motioned for Maggie to leave with her as she instantly went to Rick to talk about the guy that attacked Y/N.

Daryl instantly wrapped his arms around her feeling her grab fists full of his vest, making him want to squeeze her but he instantly pulled away when she winced. He started to check her person himself even if Siddiq does a great job with his assessment after dealing with the main problem. He even checked her bandages watching the discomfort grow on her face along with a few tears still falling.

“Are you okay? What did that bastard do to yea? Is the peanut okay?”

“What?”

“Is the baby okay?” Daryl’s voice cracked when asking that question as it only made Y/N cry even more giving him mixed signals.

Someone told him she thought and as much as that brought relief, it brought a lot of regret and pain that she didn’t tell him herself.

As she pulls from his touch, Daryl watches her reach for the table beside the bed grabbing a piece of paper before returning and giving it to him. He carefully took it into his hands looking at the picture of the peanut that was very much still there. He exhales relieved, feeling his own tears spill and the softness of her hands gently wipe them away.

“I’m sorry—-“

“No.” Daryl cut her off setting the photo in her lap so he could take her hands into his. “I…I shouldn’t have said what I said months ago…I didn’t want to push you away ever if this were to happen. Cuz let’s be honest with ourselves, we fuck like bunnies. It was bound to happen” he broke out in a smile listening to Y/N laugh to his words. He planted a kiss on her cheek as she kept that smile of hers. “We…we can die to anythin’ and that shouldn’t stop us from living.”

“Daryl…”

“Let’s go home, sunshine. Let me protect the both of yea”

Daryl helped Y/N get in the car before approaching the small group that was fixated on the woman.

“There’s a lead”

“You know I’m not gonna hesitate to kill that guy” Daryl stated and instead of receiving the usual Rick talk about no need to go far he was genuinely confused. “What”

“I’m going to help you get the son of a bitch. He does want to take us out because of Negan”

“You’re willing to be bait?”

“If Rick gets hurt, your ass is next” Michonne threats with a smile before joining Y/N in the car giving them a bit more time to discuss then joining their partners.

The day progresses into the night and Daryl found the right moment to slip away from his spot beside his wife so he could leave the house to take care of business.

As the man climbs over the wall after hiding out until night, he stumbled on his landing and when he straightened up he was face to face with Rick.

“Seriously. Just let me go”

“I don’t think that’s gonna happen”

“Like you of all people will pull the trigger” He scoffs, making the mistake of reaching for his weapon because that led to a bolt piercing him in the side of the skull.

Rick watches the body fall limp to the floor before turning to Daryl emerging from the shadows.

“There’s gonna be more like him” Rick stated. “We won’t kill them all”

“Anybody, and I fucking mean anybody…who comes near my pregnant wife the way that guy did? Will meet the same fate”

And on that note, he returned back to his spot beside Y/N who instantly rolled over to face him and bring herself close.

#cultofdixon #the walking dead #daryl dixon #daryl dixon x reader #daryl dixon fanfiction

[strawbellyx3]

Some thoughts on JinMao in The Apothecary Diaries LN (spoilers)

I love how Maomao's love for Jinshi is written in the Light Novel. She's an unreliable narrator and can't put a name on what she feels for a long time and heck, for the most time she doesn't even want to. The beginning of volume 6 showing this perfectly when she didn't want to leave Jinshi's hair stick behind, carried it with her and when she slept, she kept it near her chest because she didn't want to have it anywhere where she could see it. The symbolism *chef kiss* (she doesn't want to face her feelings but also still carries them close to her chest)

She purposely chooses to avoid thinking about any potential feelings for Jinshi and at the end of the same volume it's also stated that she does have some kind of affection for him that she can't yet put into words.

For readers, it's easy to view Maomao's avoidant attitude as disinterest. Even more so paired with how she doesn't seem to ever be nervous around Jinshi. But really, we don't need blushy nervous Maomao to understand what she's feeling. Her feelings come to show everytime she worries about Jinshi's well being and goes out of her way to get him to eat and rest, takes time of her own day to make sure that he's well.

When at the beginning, she always considered him bringing all these tasks to her as bothersome. Maomao just wanted to experiment with poison and make medicine, she didn't want to spend time on anything else, really.

Then, in volume 9 she's even willing to give up her agency if it meant helping ease his burdens.

Maomao, miss "I don't want to have anything to do with this, this is bothersome" tells him to use all of her. Use her until she falls apart. (while kabedoning him, love Maomao being an absolute girlboss even when she tells him to use her)

She's worried by his selflessness. How he's unable to use other people to reach his goals and shoulders everything on his own, wanting to save everyone. Maomao gets upset by it and worries he'd never get anything in return and become as luckless in life as her adoptive father. Who carries the same selflessness and kindness.

I don't think we talk enough about how much it means for Maomao to get to a point where she would rather get used by Jinshi than to see him exhaust himself.

This whole scene afterwards is just..generally really heartwarming honestly.

(Volume 9 Chapter 20)

Her hands went to Jinshi’s cheek. “You’re only human, Master Jinshi. You’re not some mythical immortal who can save everyone.” She held his face in her hands, the fingers of her left hand brushing his scar. “You can be wounded, scarred, brought low. Only human.”

Who was she talking to? She knew Jinshi was standing in front of her, but for some reason she kept seeing Luomen’s face.

No wonder I’m so upset. The principle that drove Jinshi’s behavior seemed very similar to Luomen’s. She was afraid that if he went on like this, he would end up just as luckless in life as her old man. Just like Pops... He’d spent himself trying to rescue everyone and everything. Like a fool. He should have wanted more, been greedier, but instead he’d suffered his fate patiently. Suffered and suffered, and for what? To become an old man resigned to his empty hands. This was, it was fair to say, Maomao’s one criticism of her father. She’d felt it keenly in the affair with the Shaonese shrine maiden. She respected Luomen immensely. A man who never lost his kindness no matter what unhappiness he encountered was like a miracle. The price, though, was that his body and his heart were both battered. In time he became so that everything he did, he did in the expectation of defeat. Would Jinshi end up like him one day? Or— “Please, please don’t go doing anything else like burning a brand into your skin,” Maomao said. “I heard you...the first several times,” Jinshi replied. “Are you sure?” A smile flitted across Maomao’s face, and she slowly pulled her hands away.

#they mean a lot to me #no one gets them the way i do /hj #jinmao #kusuriya no hitorigoto #the apothecary diaries #maomao #jinshi #light novel