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homeformyheart · 3 years

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until now - m!raleigh carrera x mc (plat)

author’s note: trying my hand at a shorter piece and for platinum – there will probably be at least one follow-up to this but both will stay as one-shots.

copyright: all characters owned by pixelberry studios. songs and lyrics owned by their respective creators. series/pairing: platinum – raleigh carrera x mc (cadence dorian); mentions of jessica clark (red carpet diaries mc) rating/warnings: 13+; swearing, infidelity, angst word count: 1.7k based on/prompt: “should’ve said no” by taylor swift summary: raleigh gets too drunk and too close to a fan and the only real relationship he’s ever had falls apart.

until now

cadence could recall exactly where she was the moment r&b’s timebomb blew up the internet. she couldn’t recall with detail how she felt or how she reacted in that immediate moment but she could describe the exact shade of brown from her morning latte that stained the open page of her notebook because she stared at it for a solid five minutes after the headlines broke. she was working on a new single for her upcoming album that needed an angsty, heartbreak vibe to balance the upbeat, love-focused songs she had already written. she had a few lines written (it’s strange to think the songs we used to sing / the smiles, the flowers, everything) but had been struggling with motivation to come up with anything more – after all, she hadn’t been heartbroken in a while.

she was happy in her relationship with raleigh and where she was in her career. her first world tour had been a huge success, with raleigh joining her on tour as often as he could. after her tour was over, he insisted he didn’t want to wake up in his apartment without her and it didn’t take long before cadence moved into his penthouse. a few months later, she was able to join raleigh for the beginning of his transformation world tour, his first album since deciding he could embrace the things he enjoyed from his sunset skatepark days, making it his most personal project to date. of course, whenever the music and obligations to the studio called her back to new york, they facetimed as much as they could.

dating cadence had given raleigh some of the “good boyfriend” brownie points with the public related to loyalty and affection. it helped that cadence defended him against unfair accusations and doubled down on how well he treated her to the media and their fans. and no matter what part of his reputation was theme-of-the-week over at the tabloids – shameless flirt, heartbreaker, wild card, adrenaline junkie, to name the popular ones – raleigh never gave anyone a reason to label him as a cheater and more importantly, never gave cadence any reason not to trust him. even in his fake relationships, raleigh made sure that that part of his reputation was sterling. until now.

her phone had buzzed non-stop when the news broke – to the point where she thought she was getting phone calls that sounded like a ticking time bomb but they were mostly texts and social media notifications. the headlines filled her feed one after another – “raleigh carerra cheats on cadence dorian!” “did ralence break-up?” “was cadence too boring for raleigh?” “cadence drives raleigh into arms of another woman!” – along with hundreds of theories painted by devastated and thirsty fans alike who picked apart every public appearance, interaction, social media post, and song lyric associated with the two of them for the past six months as if they could find incriminating clues and signs of a slowly fizzling relationship like amateur sleuths. cadence had to give them props – it’s not like she wouldn’t eventually do the same once she was ready to process the relationship; in some ways, the fans gave her a head start.

how was she supposed to react to this right now? the photos and videos definitely highlighted that sabrina simmons, who cadence vaguely recognized as a media-hungry and wannabe actress from one of raleigh’s older music videos, cozying up to and grinding on raleigh at a club in london, presumably the afterparty for the closing night of his tour. cadence could also point out every tell-tale sign that raleigh was drunk out of his mind; he was relishing in the attention from sabrina and being inappropriately handsy for someone in a well-known, committed relationship. what most people didn’t know, was that cadence could forgive that – raleigh was normally flirty and handsy and alcohol always exacerbated it. what she didn’t think she could forgive was the next thing she saw – or rather heard.

if cadence felt like she was close to either having a raging smash-everything-breakable-in-raleigh’s-apartment spree or an emotional-because-her-heart-was-actually-breaking meltdown, the audio clip that hit her inbox pushed her to the teetering edge of both. the recording was barely 15 seconds long but it was damning. given the circumstances, it was probably planted or planned by sabrina who wanted to catapult herself into internet fame by taking advantage of raleigh’s reputation. her voice could be heard asking him if he wanted to come back to her hotel room. the question didn’t matter to cadence though, because raleigh’s response – “fuck yes” – was clear as day and cadence knew it would haunt her for months to come.

[jessica: just saw the videos – u ok? i’m heading home to iowa for a break from work, come stay with me, no one will find you there]

cadence quickly typed out a text reply, grateful for the close friendship she had with jessica clarke, the actress-turned-director who directed the music video for her last single. there was only one call she needed to make. if anyone was already putting things in motion, it was fiona. right on cue, she picked up and before cadence could say two words, said, “i’m so sorry cadence. i’ve already got movers on the other line and hank’s on his way.”

“thanks fiona. i’m going to stay with jessica in iowa and lay low for a bit. raleigh is not allowed to find out where i am; i will get a new phone if i need to,” cadence said, calmly starting to pull out and sort her things from raleigh’s closet so the movers would know exactly what to pack while she ironed out a few more details with fiona.

raleigh was still way too drunk when his manager barged into his hotel room and forced him into the shower. he was very drunk when his security team had to half-drag him all the way to where the private jet was waiting at the airport. he was mostly drunk throughout the eight-hour flight back to new york and progressed to staggeringly hungover by the time he was in a private car heading back to his penthouse apartment. once raleigh felt like he was only massively hungover, he pulled out his phone to text cadence. he became only mostly hungover after seeing that his texts weren’t going through. in a matter of seconds, his now slightly hungover state took a backseat to the anxiety filling his stomach as he tried calling to no avail. he frowned as he opened his news feed. the headlines alone made his eyes widen but the videos were what sobered him up the rest of the way.

a new email in his inbox from cadence caught his eye. it was an audio clip and a straightforward message: just so we’re clear, our relationship is over.

cadence was halfway to the airport when she saw the incoming call from an unknown number. she knew it was probably raleigh since she had blocked his number, but she answered the call anyway. she knew she was going to need the closure, may as well get it out of the way.

“cadence? it’s me, please don’t hang up. i’m so sorry, babe. i have no idea what happened, believe me. i woke up in my own hotel room alone, i promise,” raleigh begged, the pit in his stomach had lodged itself in his throat, threatening to turn into tears.

she chose to ignore what he just said. if she let herself pull at that thread and dig into it further to see if it was the truth, she’d never be able to end things cleanly. “tell me this – was she worth it? was she worth this?” she asked, her voice hardened as a reminder to both herself and raleigh that he couldn’t sweet talk his way out of this one.

“of course not. i was black out drunk and don’t remember anything, i swear. all of the stuff in the videos and photos, it was all just—” raleigh’s voice softened, “a moment of weakness.”

“that’s convenient since i’m pretty sure this wasn’t an isolated moment,” cadence said in a clipped tone, examining her worn nail beds. she made a mental note to ask jessica for salon recommendations in her hometown. “do you honestly expect me to believe we could ever be the same?”

“i love you, cadence. i would never cheat on you, babe – you have to believe me,” raleigh pleaded, swallowing his pride at the fact that he was begging right now.

cadence let out a dry, humorless laugh. “i don’t have to do anything, those recordings speak for themselves. you should’ve known that what you did with her would get back to me. and you know what i think? you knew what you were doing. you actually had everything you could’ve ever wanted – the fame, fortune, and creative freedom that comes with success in this industry and something real with someone who cares about the real you, not the curated, fake version of you.”

she paused to take a deep breath and blink back the tears pooling in the corner of her eyes. keep it together, cadence, she told herself. “and it scared the shit out of you, didn’t it? it got too real for you because having something real and precious as love in your life also means you could lose it too. and even the thought of that happening made you feel so vulnerable that instead of treasuring and protecting it you decided to utterly destroy the only real relationship you’ve ever had. congratulations – you’ve perfected your bad boy reputation and collected the last trophy you needed, cheater.”

her words cut right through him. “i— i’m so sorry, cadence,” raleigh whispered into the phone. “i swear, i don’t remember saying yes to her or even doing anything with her. please just, tell me what i need to do to fix this.”

the audio recording replayed on loop in cadence’s mind. after a long pause, she whispered back, “you should’ve said no.” the finality of cadence’s tone was punctuated by the beep from his phone indicating she had hung up.

raleigh stood up from the couch where he had sat while on the phone with cadence. as he walked toward the bathroom, he finally looked around his apartment and realized that all of her stuff was gone. the apartment was empty, quiet, almost sterile with its clear surface areas and shiny, clean floors. it was like she had never lived here; his closet didn’t have the hint of jasmine from the perfume on her clothes, his sink counter was devoid of her jewelry and makeup, his music room wasn’t drowning in loose sheets of paper covered in her handwriting, and worst of all, the clothes she always borrowed of his, including his oversized tour shirts and sweatpants, were folded neatly on his bed.

he reached into the back corner of his closet, the side closest to the door, where no one ever stored or looked for anything until he found his gym bag. his felt around the old shirts in the bag until his fingers wrapped around a small, velvet box. he didn’t have to open it to recall the vivid five-carat emerald-cut diamond ring he had planned on proposing to cadence with. he held the box against his forehead, hand clenched around it, before throwing it as hard as he could out the bedroom door into the living room, twisting and turning his body from a crouching to an upright position in one smooth motion. maybe he should’ve been a baseball pitcher instead. it hit the far wall with a resounding thud.

the echo reverberated throughout his living room until it was met with silence, once again reminding him that he was utterly alone. and for the first time in a very long time, he cried. raleigh carrera had never been heartbroken before. until now.

* * * * * mentions: @raleigh-edward; @dulceghernandez; @thegreentwin; @kat-tia801; @otherworldlypresents; @brycesgirl; @robintora;

#reposting for new blog #choices #pb choices #playchoices #raleigh carrera #raleigh x mc #raleigh carrera x mc #cadence dorian #raleigh x cadence #choices fanfic #choices fanfics #playchoices fanfiction #my writing #not twc #choices platinum #choices fic writers creations #raleigh carrera x cadence dorian #my choices fics

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raveismysublime · 4 years

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I am attempting to right a fic

So I am re-reading ACOWAR and am at the part where Nesta and Elaine go visit Graysen to try and get him to help the humans or something like that and Nesta is beating up Graysen for hurting Elaine.

So my mind wanders and goes... what if Cassian was there to see this? and then.... what if Cassian saw this from his POINT OF VIEW!!!!!!! So I’m like let me write this,

I have never wrote fan fiction besides some Lunar chronicles shit on Wattpad and Lesbian smut (don’t ask, it helped with my sexuality tho) SO please don’t come at me if you hate this

I just really wanted this from Cassian's perspective, like watching Nesta be a bad bitch instead of a rude bitch ya kno? Idk but here yall go

I apologize in advance if this is shitty ( it probably will be, please don’t hate I love u guys) and will probably never right a fic again but ok enough talking here ya go

Im gonna be taking parts of ACOWAR and typing them in so it looks believable

**we’re gonna imagine that Cassian went with them for this to work okay**

-------------------

“So only the rich and chosen will walk through the gates?” Rhys asked, arching a brow. “I can’t imagine the aristocracy being content to work your land and fish in your lake or butcher your meat.”

This meeting was going nowhere, thought Cassian as Rhysand argued with the close-minded human boy. The fact this pitiful man thinks his mere father and some iron were going to protect him and the human lands from Hybern’s wrath was stupid, laughable even.

How he was able to land a Archeron’s sister was beyond what Cassian could think of. For once, he would agree with Nesta on the idea of this marriage.

“We have plenty of workers here to do that.” so the little boy speaks. Cassian wanted to retort, he wanted to desperately put this pathetic weasle of a man in his place but bit his tongue. This was not his fight, this was Elaine’s and at the moment Rhysands. He would not intervene.

Because if he did intervene this whole place would come crumbling down and weasel boy and his father would be crying in their underwear.

But Jurian said to the lords, “I fought beside your ancestor. And he would be ashamed if you locked out those who needed it. You would spit on his grave to do so. I hold a position of trust with Hybern. One word from me, and I will make sure his legion takes a visit here. To you.”

“You’ll threaten to bring the very enemy you seek to protect us from?” Weasle boy said.

Jurian shrugged. “I can also convince Hybern to steer clear. He trusts me that much. You let in those people … I will do my best to keep his armies far away.”

He gave Rhys a look, daring him to doubt it.

We were still too stunned to even try to look neutral.

Cassian wondered if the elder lord might be the one who could actually be reasoned with. Especially as Graysen said to Elain, “Take that ring off.”

Elain’s fingers curved into a fist. “No.” Ugly. This was about to get ugly in the worst way—

“Take. It. Off.”

How humiliating, Cassian thought, to Elaine for everyone to witness this absurd man. If only he could reach around, grab weasel man by the neck, pin him against the wall and shove two of his knives into each of his balls-

That’s enough,” Rhys said, his voice lethally calm. “The lady keeps the ring, if she wants it. Though none of us will be particularly sad to see it go. Females tend to prefer gold or silver to iron.”

Graysen leveled a seething look at Rhysand. “Is this the start of it? You Fae males will come to take our women? Are your own not fuckable enough?”

That was the last of it that Cassian was willing to endure. Was this man stupid? He should not be alive at this very second. He should be drowned in crimson and tears.

“Watch your tongue, boy,” his father said. At Least he had some sense to shut his son up. Elain turned white at the coarse language.

Graysen only said to her, “I am not marrying you. Our engagement is over. I will take whatever people occupy your lands. But not you. Never you.”

Fucking bastard. To even speak to a women like this, to even dare

He was going to rip out his throat

Tears began sliding down Elain’s face, their scent filling the room with salt.

Nesta stepped forward. Then another step. And another.

Cassian watched her every move, every breath and the anger etched across her brow. He could do nothing but stare at her movements

He could do nothing but stare at Nesta

Until she was in front of Graysen, faster than anyone could see.

He watched her dress swish against her curves, he watched her fingers

Until Nesta smacked him hard enough that his head snapped to the side.

He made a sharp intake of his breath. He had only ever seen her mad, furious, bitching to him or any other male. Never, never had he seen her so calm and burning towards someone else.

To him, she was snarky and he snarked back

To this man, she was calm and collected as her eyes burned into his face. Cassian would have never wanted to be on the receiving end of that look.

She was devastating.

“You never deserved her,” Nesta snarled into the stunned silence as Graysen cupped his face and swore, bending over. Nesta only looked back at me. Rage, unfiltered and burning, roiled in her eyes. But her voice was stone-cold as she said to me, “I assume we’re done here.”

The power uttered in those words. The power in her

All Cassian could do was watch her. Watch her defend her sister to no end, watch as the poor boy looked into her eyes with fear.

Feyre gave her a wordless nod. And proud as any queen, Nesta took Elain’s arm and led her from the guardhouse. Mor trailed behind, guarding their backs as they entered the veritable field of weapons and snarling hounds waiting outside

He enjoyed watching someone else take in the brunt of Nesta’s words and actions. It was entertaining to him to watch another male be weakened by her. He could get used to seeing that quite often.

Nesta, Nesta, Nesta

He couldn’t help laughing to himself.

She looked so beautiful when she was angry, he admitted to a small part of himself.

Gods, this women.

-----

OKAY i know that was probably so bad but I tried? idk tell me what ya’ll thinkkkk i just really wanted this written somewere but admittidly it sounded better in my head haha

I am just craving so much Nessian stuff at this moment like I am going to BURST where is this book.

#sarah j mas #nesta archeron #acotar #acofas #nesta #high lady feyre #rhysand #acomaf #acowar #feyre #nessian #acosf #a court of silver flames

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13parkfilter · 4 years

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Ok I have some thoughts about Arrogance and the perception of arrogance, dissent, reputation, and entrenched power dynamics (ok damn is that enough for u) as it all interacts in WWX’s confrontation with the sects at Nightless City.

I’m obsessed with this scene (aren’t we all?) because it’s not just the only time we get to see Yiling Laozu!WWX let loose (which interestingly is motivated not by anger but by grief, not the subject of this post omg stay focused) but it’s ALSO, because of said grief, the most brutally honest version of this conversation WWX lets himself have with the people who are so angry at him.

One of the things the people who argue with WWX in this scene throw in his face as a flaw for which they can’t forgive him is his arrogance. We hear this from Sect Leader Yao (ugh) and from the guy who shoots an arrow at him. While the accusation is the same, the dynamics in each of these conversations is very very different.

The first man is a Sect Leader a generation older than WWX, someone who’s closer in age and status to WWX’s adoptive father Jiang Fengmian— i.e. someone who could reasonably be seen as a parental or mentor figure (if he weren’t so clearly full of shit) to the Sunshot generation of cultivators (LWJ, WWX, JC et al).

Let’s break this down. One of the fascinating things at play in CQL to me is honestly how full of shit the older generation is in how they strategically manipulate, control, reward and punish the younger generation of cultivators, and what behaviors they instill and enforce as a result. They’re the gatekeepers of cultivation society, the ones who decide who to regard as worthy and who to place in positions of leadership and power. There’s an interesting connection here between speech, words, argument, and how people are rewarded and valued.

Depending on who you ask, the most popular and respected cultivator of the younger generation is either Lan Wangji, who very rarely speaks, much less argues with anyone (yet is still accused of arrogance, a topic for a whole other post lol)— or Lan Xichen, who as we all know has the patience of a saint, and will set aside his own principles to drink alcohol at the command of a rude asshole at a banquet without argument if it keeps the peace. Meanwhile the most reviled cultivator of their generation is WWX, the person who talks the most, argues the most, and rarely if ever bends to a command from the older generation if he can think of a valid argument against it. If the Twin Jades care the most about deference, respect of elders and the appearance of civility, WWX is the person who openly flouts these things the most.

Here’s what adults won’t tell you when you’re young: Valuing yourself and your own perspective isn’t arrogance. Refusing to downplay or disregard your own sense of your worth is also not arrogance.

The thing is, people project their greatest weaknesses, the flaws they hate the most in themselves, onto others— that’s what a scapegoat is— and one of the most common follies of age is refusing to trust the wisdom of the young, and not being able to see when a system they’ve perpetuated and come to rely on is deeply flawed and needs to change, and may even need to be pulled up by its roots.

That’s what I see, and what I think about, when Sect Leader Yao calls Wei Wuxian arrogant.

But I see something different when the young, no-name cultivator with the arrow calls WWX arrogant (lmao I’m finally getting to the main point! From those pictures up top!!)— and that has to do with reputation, what happens when you become a public figure and what it means for an anon to call WWX, one of the most talked-about cultivators of his generation, arrogant.

This is where the connection to LWJ being called arrogant by Su She comes in. It’s the same feeling as the young archer, right? Like, who’s this asshole? These are both characters who have a problem with hero worship, characters who instead of following their own sense of what they should or shouldn’t do, base their actions (and in Su She’s case his entire public persona lol) around first imitating and then rejecting someone they admire but don’t fully understand.

This is very different from the clear-eyed, open-hearted hero worship the juniors come to develop for WWX. We see their regard for him develop slowly, over time spent interacting with him directly and by closely observing his actions, as well as openly questioning his actions when they don’t understand the motivations behind them. We see them each come to their own assessments of his flaws, to see how what seems like a flaw in one situation can be an asset in another, and that you can’t have the brilliance without the fire, so to speak.

We don’t get that with Su She or the young archer. These characters are distant from the objects of their interest, and the judgments that they pass happen in the realm of public opinion, based on incomplete information, public perception, and rumors. They confuse the image for the real thing. They look at WWX and only see the arrogant, heartless Yiling Laozu; they look at LWJ and only see the cold, untouchable Hanguang Jun. The juniors arguably hero-worship both of these characters as well, but they also have personal knowledge of them that they’ve learned how to integrate into their full image of each man as a complex human being with flaws and contradictions. What I’m trying to say is, this is why we see Jingyi giving WWX shit and then turning around to defend him to sect leaders in the same breath, while the archer at Nightless City is only interested in shooting WWX out of the sky.

WWX knows this intuitively— there’s nothing he can do to make that kid give him a chance. He’s not interested in why WWX made the decisions he did, he’s only interested in condemning him for not being whoever he made him out to be in his mind without ever really knowing him as a person. WWX understands in this moment what it means to have the reputation that he does, and also knows that this kid will never know what it’s like to be on the other side of that, because his safety is in his anonymity, and he’s able to pass judgment without taking any risks of his own. He’s the invisible type— until he shoots WWX that is, and is killed by him in turn, an action which no one present can accept. We expect great humility and inhuman forbearance from people whose public image has become larger than life. WWX responded as a person whose life was threatened, and everyone else saw the Yiling Laozu, wreathed in power and notoriety, striking down a nameless young man who looked up to him but was more than happy to condemn him.

In spite of being called arrogant again and again, WWX always does his best to upset power dynamics— to treat people higher (and lower) than him as equals, and to insist that they interact as people capable of understanding each other, not as symbolic beings hiding behind titles and courtesy names, or behind the power of their sect.

I’m tired so in conclusion: this is why I stan Lan Jingyi, the loudest and most brutally honest member of his own generation.

#cql meta #lan jingyi fan club #yiling laozu feels #v posts #can u imagine #calling someone who insults you in front of a crowd the invisible type #i aspire to this energy tbh

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gothamslittlejester · 5 years

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Arthur Fleck/Joker x reader (Being harassed by Ex)

Request: Hi! Are requests for headcanons/scenario still opened? Could I get one where reader's ex is harrasing her cause he doesn't wanna accept they broke up? He won't leave them alone and they started to be afraid of even leaving the house. Arthur notices something is wrong and ask her about it. What's his reaction when she finally breaks down in tears and tells him everything? Also is it possible to get the same thing for Joker as well? It's ok if not. Sorry for my long rant.

Sure thing hun! HC’s for both bois below 😊

Also I just wanted to say, thank you all so much for the supportive messages I got about my last post. It really hit me hard and reading all your messages helped me realize I wasn’t the one to blame (although at the time i saw myself as the one at fault). thank u from the bottom of my heart <3

Arthur

Sadly, the idea of a stranger coming into Arthur’s life to take you away from him is one that poisons his thoughts on a very regular basis. He could be having the best day of his life and out of nowhere, the voices in his head begin mocking and terrorizing him with images of a smarter, taller, handsomer man promising you a life better than Arthur could ever provide

During the day, it leaves him sickened with such intense anxiety that it almost always leads to a body shattering laughing fit.

At night it only doubles, the paranoia turns into something much worse; morphing from dread into a deep, deep sadness accumulated from all the pain he’s ever experienced in his miserable life. The sheer grief he feels during these nights is enough to leave him sobbing and shaking until morning

It has nothing to do with you, he promises, scared that you would ever think that he doesn’t trust you, or you’re not doing enough. You do so, so much for him, he could never repay you if he tried for a hundred years. With your encouragement, everyday he gets a tiny bit better at pushing these thoughts away. One day, he hopes to never hear them again

And for a while he doesn’t. Until he hears about your ex.

Arthur is very in tune with your feelings and emotions, so the second he sees you become panicky and refuse to leave the house without constantly looking over your shoulder, he suspects there’s a third party involved

He’ll get on his knees and beg you to let him know what’s going on, wiping away every tear he can catch, and kissing away the ones the slip past his fingers

Arthur knows what all about abuse and what it looks like, whether its verbal or physical, obvious or silently manipulative. The second you mention your ex coming back into your life and trying to interact with you, he just knows

Will spend hours comforting you and reminding you that you’re not responsible for the actions of your ex, and you don’t have to worry about him anymore. Besides, the next time your ex comes to your house, Arthur is already there, right by your side and ready to give your ex a piece of his mind

Although he completely envelopes you with support and the sweetest of love, there’s also a part of Arthur that’s so enraged, so furious at the nerve your ex has that it makes his vision red. He’d never show this side of him around you, but your ex just might get an exclusive preview

He’d charge straight up to you ex without a care in the world, hands clenched at his side and jaw set. He wasn’t used to being this confident, but now he had someone to protect, and he was going to defend you until his dying breath. Looking your ex dead in the eye, he’d threaten to beat his skull in with a carnival mallet if he didn’t leave Gotham this second. And If telling him to leave you alone doesn’t work, Arthur has a gun lying around that he’s been dying to use

Joker

Your ex really couldn’t have chosen a worse time to pop back in your life

You and Joker had finally relaxed into a domestic- dare you say normal- way of life, and despite some chaotic and crazy moments together, Joker’s fondness and protectiveness for you grows by the day. He’s very firm in his belief that he is yours and you are his, and not even God himself could take that away

Your adoring clown still has a few moments of intense jealousy that turn him into a pouting and possessive ass, but generally he’s never actually threatened by the people who show interest in his beloved S/O. Unless someone lays a hand on you or actually makes a move to take you away from him, Joker isn’t offended too much. Mildly inconvenienced? Sure. Extra possessive? Definitely. But to him, these men are just jealous of what he has, and that makes him smug as hell

If he was being honest, all the fans, attention and particularly having you by his side were beginning to get to his head. His ego began to grow by the day and you were the first to notice. You never really brought it up, but Joker was practically exuding confidence with every twitch and shrug of his shoulders. Although mildly annoying on the rare occasion, for the most part his new confidence made your knees weak and heart beat like crazy, which only made him cockier.

Joker thought of himself as invincible, a wolf among sheep, a king… so in his mind, obviously no-one would dare try to take what was his, especially not you. Right?

Unfortunately for him, he was wrong- very, very wrong

The second your ex comes back in your life, Joker knows something is up. He was the first to notice that someone had been lurking around your old home like a rabid dog, pacing and knocking at your door in desperation, oblivious to the conveniently placed security camera Joker had set up right near the entrance

Joker began immediately suspecting him, growling as the seconds ticked by and your ex continued to linger

Before he went straight up to this… this scumbag, Joker decided to inform you first before he accidentally shot up one of your family members or co-workers. He knew you’d never forgive for that

“Hi angel, there’s some loser pacing around your door, need me to take care of it”? He said with a smile playing on his lips, waiting for you to laugh in his face and tell you who the guy was. What he didn’t expect was for you to suddenly pale out and look at him like a dear caught in headlights, your eyes watering as they mercilessly revealed the terror griping your heart.

“Darling? Darling!” Joker yelled as he gripped your shoulders, slinking one of his arms around your waist in case you passed out on him and hit the floor.

“Baby…” he cooed and pressed his painted forehead against your own, coaxing you to look at him. “Tell me what’s wrong… tell me who that man is… tell me what to do, please.”

It took you a few minutes to calm down, but you do tell him- you tell him everything.

“I didn’t know he’d try to follow me back home, I thought he was out of my life, I’m so scared, I don’t know what to do.” You sob out as you clutch at Joker’s hands, unaware of the feral snarl deepening into Joker’s face

Your ex is dead. On sight. There’s no pleading or bargaining with Joker on this one. The sheer fury and pain he feels on your half brakes his spirit in half, and he promises to never let anyone hurt you like that again. Joker would kill for you, and he’s about to prove it to you.

#Arthur fleck x reader #joker x reader #joker headcannons #Arthur fleck headcannons #joker fic #Arthur fleck imagine #my writing

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crossbowking · 5 years

Text

The Road Ahead : Chapter 18

Chapter Index HERE

Summary : (Set in the beginning of season 1) Anna Brooks lost everything after the world ended — the last remaining part of herself being her older brother, who she lost contact with after communications dropped. While en route towards Atlanta to find him, Anna’s truck breaks down, leaving her at the mercy of the cruel new world. Now, Anna must face her fears head on as she struggles to deal with devastating loss, constant danger, and finding her way in a land that now belongs to the dead. But sometimes, a glimmer of hope can be found disguised as a short-tempered, hard-headed redneck who may just save her life in more ways than one.

Pairings : Daryl x Original Female Character

Warnings : Slow-Burn, Language/Violence/typical Walking Dead themes

Author’s Note : Oh. Hi. *crickets*

I KNOW I HAVEN’T UPDATED IN MONTHS. LITERAL MONTHS. I’M SORRY. BUT THIS WRITING SHIT IS LIKE...HARD. I hope y’all remember wtf has happened in this story because I had to go back and reread because I was LOST. So hopefully this shit makes sense. (I’ll insert a recap to refresh everyone’s memory.)

I’m sorry. I’m gonna go hide in the corner now.

Shoutout to @wilhelmjfink for creating the awesome cover pic for this series! Love you bb.

THIS CHAPTER IS DARYL’S POV, ALSO.

Okay, that is all.

xx crossbowking

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Recap...

- Anna was attacked by Merle (hopped up on coke, mind you) en route towards Atlanta in search of her brother, Ben. Their parents died at some point during the journey and Anna now wears their wedding rings on a chain around her neck.

- Daryl swoops in and saves Anna from Merle, fixes her truck, and they have a moment *swoon*. He offers her a place in his group but she declines, putting her family first and continuing for Atlanta (even though he already told her the city was destroyed).

- Anna spends the night in a shitty gas station market, has a flashback of her childhood/a sneak peek into her relationship with Ben, and cries herself to sleep *aw bb, it’s ok*.

- The next day, Anna stumbles across a herd who traps her on the roof of the market...all hope seems lost. Until gunshots from the city draw some of the herd away *aka Rick escaping the tank*. A storm rolls in, providing the small amount of water Anna needs to make it to the city. A car alarm sounds from the city shortly after, drawing more of the herd away *hm...whoever could that be? Possibly a cutie patootie driving a red sports car?...*

- Anna makes her escape and continues for Atlanta. She parks her truck and makes the trek to her brother’s apartment with no trouble. Once there, she finds a walker trapped in his bathroom, but luckily, it’s not Ben. She finds a note from him addressed to her saying that he left for Fort Benning after the city was overrun. Anna stays the night and decides to try for the army base next.

- Anna scavenges the following day, gathers supplies and heads back to her truck before nightfall. She runs into Rick’s group (leaving the city after trying to find Merle) attempting to hotwire her truck, has a not so pleasant reunion with Daryl, but decides to drive the group back to their camp *she owes Daryl, give her a break*.

- They return as the camp is getting overrun by walkers. Anna helps defend the quarry and saves Carl, almost dies, but *dun dun dun* is saved by Daryl once more.

- Rick offers Anna a place in the group but she’s set on searching for her brother and heading to Fort Benning. She’s still unsure why Daryl is being so cold to her.

- Stays one more night with the group, contemplating next move. Daryl gives Anna his dinner after she gave Sophia hers, only furthering Anna’s confusion regarding the archer. *make up your damn mind, Dixon!*

- Anna decides to join the group to the CDC. If CDC is a dead end, Rick promises they will try for Benning.

- Daryl is being a jerk face again and Anna is #overhimandhisissues.

- They make it to the CDC, meet Edwin Jenner, and have an interesting dinner. *group finds out Anna’s mom had cancer, but ultimately died from a walker bite*

- Everyone gets drunk *ayeee gettin’ crunk*

- Anna and Glenn bond while everyone else turns in for the night *supposedly* and she finds out more about the archer/Merle/what happened in Atlanta the day she ran into them.

- She learns that Daryl and Merle got into a huge fight/brawl and is pretty sure she’s the reason it started. Realizes that Daryl is a moody lil’ bitch because he blames her for the way things ended with him and Merle/the fight they had/the mean things he said to his brother.

- Shane pops up outta nowhere, all sorts of fucked up, and basically attacks Anna because he’s a horny lil’ psychopath. Daryl hears the struggle and yet again, *shocker* saves Anna.

- Daryl stays in Anna’s room *cue awkward tension* and she spills out some sort of apology *which Daryl ignores* instead bringing up the fact that she didn’t find her brother. She shares the note she found/her plan to head for Fort Benning. Daryl is like “psh, ya ain’t gon’ make it, ya dumb ho” and Anna’s like “psh, you’re so fuckin’ rude omg” and Daryl storms out and Anna’s all like “JUST BC U GAVE UP ON UR BROTHER DOESN’T MEAN I’M GIVING UP ON MINE” and Daryl’s like “ow...dat’s some cold shit” and leaves.

- Anna can’t sleep because GUILT. Anywho, the next morning everyone has breakfast together, Shane apologizes to Anna/threatens her to keep her mouth shut in the same breath.

- Then, cue the group trapped in the CDC/building about to explode.

- Group gets out, Anna’s a dumb lil ho and runs back inside for her backpack *LEAVE HER ALONE SHE COULDN’T LEAVE THE PICTURE OF HER AND BEN/HIS NOTE TO HER BEHIND*

- Anna almost dies, but whoohoo, she lives! Daryl runs back into the field and carries her semi-unconscious form away from the wreckage.

There. Now everyone’s caught up.

AND...HERE WE GO.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Previously…

Black spots suddenly danced in Anna’s vision, her stomach rolling, her body’s aches and pains dulling as her legs began to give out, unable to keep up with the archer’s determined pace. She squeezed her eyes shut, her drooping head lolling against Daryl’s shoulder as the world began to fade.

The last thing Anna felt was the archer sliding his arm up her back, slipping it around her shoulders instead as his other arm cupped behind her kneecaps, swiftly swooping her off the ground.

And then everything went dark.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Now...

The desolate road spilled out before the caravan of survivors, its winding roads and towering trees seemingly endless. Abandoned cars littered the sides of the road, some doors till strewn open, others covered in blood and grime. There wasn’t another soul in sight — it was as though the entire world had been completely wiped clean, forced to begin again from scratch.

The survivors traveled along cascading backroads, steering clear of highways and more populated areas as they navigated out of the city and into the rural countrysides of Georgia with no set destination in mind.

Daryl lost track of how long the group had been driving, the minutes and hours seeping into one another as the sun reached its highest peak and began its slow descent. His hand rested lazily atop the steering wheel, the other resting on his thigh, fingertips drumming anxiously against his knee.

His mind had been ticking nonstop since the group had escaped the Center for Disease Control. The explosion had drawn in a massive herd, bigger than any horde Daryl had ever seen before. There hadn’t been time to reconvene, to figure out a different course of action, to make sure —

A soft whimper suddenly drew Daryl’s attention to the passenger seat, his gaze settling on her.

Anna Brooks.

The archer sighed, pulling his eyes away from her sleeping form, focusing back on the road ahead. He rested his elbow against the doorframe, the side of his thumb finding a home nestled between his teeth. He gnawed absently on the side of his thumbnail, his thoughts refusing to settle, his nerves standing on end.

In the midst of all the chaos, during the group’s last ditch effort to escape the impending blast, Daryl hadn’t even realized that Anna was no longer with the group. His jaw clenched, the backs of his teeth gnashing together — how could he not have realized?

He could still feel that pit in his stomach, the feeling of dread that’d shot through him when he’d spotted her climbing out of the CDC after Dale and Andrea. It felt as though all the air had been sucked from his lungs, leaving him paralyzed, only able to sit and watch as she ran for her life — and there hadn’t been a damn thing he could do about it.

The explosion had drawn in the dead, giving him no time to make sure she was uninjured, to make sure she was okay. He didn’t think, he didn’t hesitate — he just ran back for her, the heat from the blast surging over his exposed flesh as he spotted her trapped beneath an unmoving walker, her hammer lodged in its skull.

Although she’d been disoriented when he’d found her, unsteady and dazed as he’d pulled her to her feet, the most important thing was that she was okay.

So he’d carried Anna’s weakened form back to his truck as she drifted in and out of consciousness. And when Lori emerged from the RV, frantically motioning for him to leave Anna with her and the others before they departed, he blatantly ignored the offer — he just couldn’t bring himself to do it, for some reason. He had to keep an eye on her, had to make sure she kept herself out of trouble. The damn woman had run back into an imploding building — who the hell knows what else she’d do?

No. No, he needed to keep an eye on her. He didn’t trust anyone else to keep her alive. That was what this boiled down to. He didn’t trust anyone else to —

Daryl clenched his jaw, grip tightening around the steering wheel as he forced himself to focus — to get a fucking grip. What the hell had gotten into him? This wasn’t who he was. This wasn’t what he did. Everything had been so simple before — before losing Merle, before the CDC, before he met her. Over the course of the last few days, Anna Brooks had somehow managed to worm her way into the forefronts of his mind, had crawled her way beneath his skin, and now he couldn’t seem to quiet the demanding need to keep her alive.

What the hell had gotten into him?

Daryl still thought about that day back on the road — the day he first met her. She’d seemed so vulnerable, so terrified — cowering beneath Merle’s grasp, his knife pressed against the hollow of her throat, a small trail of blood seeping from her pierced flesh. It wasn’t the first time he’d walked in on Merle tormenting some poor unsuspecting victim — but there’d been something different about her. The moment her big, brown eyes locked with his, he found himself intervening before he could think twice. There hadn’t been a moment of hesitation when he pointed his crossbow at his brother’s head — not even a flinch.

And that is what had freaked him out the most.

He sometimes wondered what would’ve happened if he hadn’t gotten involved that day. What would’ve happened to Anna? How far would his brother have gone? Merle had been out of control that day — had been for a long time before that too. The drugs hadn’t helped either, instead heightening his already brusque demeanor.

Merle hadn’t cared about anyone or anything — Daryl wasn’t even sure if his brother ever really cared about him. He knew that Merle’s inevitable downfall would happen from his own recklessness, his own actions and choices, and he’d been trying to prepare himself for life without his brother for a long time coming.

But in all the various ways Daryl had pictured his final moments with Merle, what he hadn’t expected was for there to be a brutal fight, a harsh exchanging of words, and an overwhelming swell of guilt vast enough to swallow him whole.

And it all came to a head after that day on the road.

The day he met her.

Daryl stormed through the growing underbrush of vines and leaves, stepping over an exposed root as he pushed forward, driven solely by frustration. He heard a sudden thud behind him, followed by a string of muttered curses, but still pushed forward, ignoring the racket.

“Damn roots be poppin’ up outta nowhere, swear ta’ Christ,” Merle’s gravelly voice echoed from behind.

The archer glanced over his shoulder, spotting Merle kneeling on the forest floor, grunting as he pushed himself back onto his feet. But Daryl didn’t slow his pace, didn’t respond, didn’t offer to help — nothing. He didn’t trust himself not to snap right now, the anger coursing through him growing with each step he took closer to camp, further away from the scared girl with big brown eyes and a beaten down pickup truck.

Daryl gnashed his teeth together, grip tightening around his crossbow. What a shit-fucking-day it had been. He’d volunteered to go hunting, to try and rile up some food for the group waiting back at the quarry. But then Merle had decided to tag along last minute, his brother itching to be out in the wilderness, away from the cautious eyes that watched his every move back at camp.

And it had all gone downhill from there.

Merle’s boisterous persona had done an outstanding job in alerting every living and nonliving thing within a mile of their approach, leaving the pair empty-handed by the end of their long day. Daryl’s frustration had only grown with each hour that passed, the thought of coming home with nothing forming a pit in his gut. The brothers were already on thin ice with the group, one wrong move away from being kicked out on their asses — no thanks to Merle, he might add.

They’d scoured the vast forest, waded through the babbling creek just a few miles from camp, and even checked out a couple cottages and sheds they’d randomly stumbled upon — but there’d been nothing, everything within a five-mile radius seemingly wiped clean.

“Mind slowin’ your roll there, baby bro?” Merle called after him, his voice becoming more and more distant with the increasing space Daryl was putting between them. “Ain’t the athlete I used ta’ be,” he snarked lightly.

Daryl rolled his eyes, although Merle couldn’t see from where he trailed behind him.

“Hey, what’s the fuckin’ dealio?” Merle snapped, his footsteps quickening. “Ya ain’t still pissed at me, are ya?” he pressed, an incredulous laugh booming from deep within his gut. “Aw, c’mon, Darlina —”

“Hey!” Daryl snapped, halting abruptly and turning on his heels, coming face to face with Merle, who’d finally caught up to him. “Ya gonna draw in every walker around if ya don’t shut your damn trap,” he hissed, eyes narrowed into slits, Merle’s jeering expression only angering him further.

“Ah, let ‘em come!” he scoffed, holding his arms out at his sides. “We can take ‘em, you an’ I!” he continued, the volume of his words increasing, echoing throughout the otherwise silent forest.

Daryl huffed a breath, shooting his brother a look of contempt as he turned on his heel and stormed forward, leaving Merle behind once more.

“Hey, what’s got your panties all up in a twist, huh?” Merle mocked, catching up and falling in step beside the archer. “This ain’t ‘bout that skirt from earlier, is it?” he accused tauntingly.

Daryl stiffened, his body going rigid at the mention of the girl from the road, but he refused to give his brother the satisfaction of a response.

Yet somehow, Merle knew he’d struck a chord, a lopsided sneer coming over his face as he nudged Daryl in the ribs with his elbow. “C’mon, is that it?” he teased, snickering softly. “Ya pissed at ol’ Merle for layin’ claim on the bitch ‘fore ya had the chance? Ya see, I knew ya was —”

“I said shut up, Merle!” Daryl suddenly growled, turning to shove his brother to the side, coming to a swift halt. “This ain’t ‘bout the damn girl. It’s ‘bout how ya can’t keep ya damn mouth shut, alright? Ya scared off any decent game we might’ve found out here — an’ now we’re goin’ back ta’ those people with jackshit!” he snarled, standing toe to toe with his brother, fighting off the urge to smack that arrogant look off his face.

“An’?” Merle shot back simply.

Daryl faltered, brows furrowing. “An’ what?”

“An’ that ain’t our problem, brother,” he scowled, some of the humor fading from his expression. “Ain’t our responsibility ta’ make sure those pricks don’t go hungry, am I right?”

Daryl scoffed, his brother’s selfishness not surprising in the slightest. “Ya know, maybe if ya spent a lil’ more time with your head out a’ your ass, we wouldn’t be in this fuckin’ mess ta’ begin with,” he spat, turning on his heel once more.

“My head spends jus’ the right amount a’ time in my ass, thank ya very much.”

“That you or the drugs talkin’? Hard ta’ tell the damn difference these days,” Daryl shot back over his shoulder before pressing forward.

“Yeah, yeah,” Merle called after him, following suit. “It’s medicinal — doctor prescribed an’ all!” he snarked.

Daryl exhaled heavily, prayed for strength, and pushed onward, suddenly hearing the soft murmur of voices growing from the approaching camp. He quickened his pace, hoping to be able to sneak back into his tent before anyone noticed his return. But much to his surprise, when the trees parted and the quarry came into view, he spotted the entire group sitting around the unlit fire pit in hushed conversation, all heads turning his way as he appeared.

Daryl paused, eyeing the group warily, feeling a pinprick of guilt hit him when most of their gazes traveled from his face, down to his empty hands, their hopeful expressions falling. The buzzing conversation quieted, a tangible disappointment spreading throughout the group as they realized that there would be yet another meager meal for dinner that night. The archer clenched his jaw, lowering his gaze slightly, feeling uncomfortable with all the sudden attention on him.

“Y’all miss me?” Merle’s voice suddenly boomed, breaking the quiet. Daryl glanced up at the group once more, noticing how almost everyone began either rolling their eyes or turning their gazes away, one person audibly groaning. Merle let out a low whistle. “Tough fuckin’ crowd,” he murmured as he moved to stand beside the archer.

Daryl watched as Shane leaned over to whisper something in Lori’s ear before he pushed up from his chair beside her and made his way towards the brothers, rubbing a hand roughly through his tousled hair. “Nothin’?” the officer asked softly, placing his hands on his hips, directing his question towards Daryl.

The archer merely shook his head once, readjusting the crossbow slung over his shoulder.

Shane muttered a curse under his breath, staring off into the trees behind the brothers. “Y'all were out there all damn day an’ ya didn’t find nothin’?” he pressed, his expression tense.

“Ya got fuckin’ eyes, don’t ya? What’s it look like?” Merle snapped, taking a small step towards Shane, drawing the man’s attention away from Daryl. “Ya think ya can do any better, how’s ‘bout ya get off your lazy ass an’ get out there yourself, Officer Asswipe,” he bit out challengingly, puffing his chest slightly.

Shane scoffed and for a moment, Daryl thought he was about to start swinging. But instead, he just shot Merle a dirty look and turned away, making his way back to the fire pit where Lori and Carl sat.

Merle suddenly clamped his hand down on Daryl’s shoulder, leaning in close. “Ain’t our responsibility, brother,” he rasped once more, tightening his grip as he lowered his voice further. “Don’t be forgettin’ why we’re here in the first place — why we been playin’ ‘nicey-nice’ with these fine folks all this time,” he whispered darkly.

Daryl glanced at his brother, the dangerous sneer on his face unsettling. Without another word, Merle huffed a laugh, clapped Daryl roughly on the back and pushed past him, making his way towards his own rickety tent.

Daryl watched his brother walk away, feeling the weight of his words spread like fire through his veins — he hadn’t forgotten why they were there. How could he? It’d been the only thing he could think about since they’d joined the group.

Merle had come up with the idea — of course it’d been his idea. And Daryl had just…gone along with it. He hadn’t protested, hadn’t tried to talk him out of it. He hadn’t even put up a fight.

Did that make him just as horrible as his brother? Or worse?

Daryl scanned the camp, his eyes lingering for a moment towards where Carl and Sophia sat, tucked underneath their mother’s sides, eyes wide and innocent as they quietly listened to the resuming chatter. These were decent people — good people. And he and his brother were going to rob them blind come the following night, leaving them defenseless against the looming threat of the dead.

Daryl grimaced.

Worse. It definitely made him worse.

But then suddenly out of nowhere, images of the girl from earlier flashed through his mind and he stilled. He wasn’t sure why or how she’d weaseled her way into the forefronts of his thoughts, but before he knew it, there she was. He could picture the distrust marring her tense expression, the look only fading after he’d proven to her he meant no harm. He saw the light that’d rekindled in her tiresome eyes after he’d successfully fixed her broken-down truck, the way her smile brought life to her whole face. He remembered the way her gaze softened as she thanked him, politely turning down his offer to join the group back at the quarry.

He’d felt like he’d finally done some good, like he’d done something that actually mattered for once in his life.

That was the type of man he was. Not…not this. Not some sorry sack of shit, blindly following his big brother’s destructive footsteps. That wasn’t who he was. And that wasn’t who he was going to be, damn it.

Feeling a new sense of resolve wash over him, Daryl straightened up and marched forward, searching for where his brother had wandered off to. It only took a few seconds before he found his brother lounging in a picnic chair outside his ramshackle tent, sharpening his hunting knife as he whistled softly.

Daryl saw a flash of that same knife being held to the girl’s throat earlier, but quickly pushed the image away, it only fueling his anger.

Merle glanced up at Daryl’s approach, giving him a quick once-over before he focused back on his weapon.

Daryl cleared his throat quietly, scanning the area to make sure there were no wandering eyes, no potential eavesdroppers. “Hey, we need ta’ talk,” he murmured lowly.

“So, talk,” Merle shot back gruffly, taking a moment to observe the knife’s sharpened edge, using his thumbnail to test the blade.

Daryl huffed a breath, growing more and more impatient towards his brother’s indifferent attitude. He quickly surveyed the campgrounds once more, double checking that this would be a private conversation. When the coast seemed clear, the archer crouched down in front of Merle. “Shit don’t feel right, man,” he rumbled, giving his brother a pointed look.

Merle suddenly scoffed, the corner of his mouth raising into a smirk. “That kinda sounds like a ‘you’ sorta problem, don’t ya think?”

“Nah, ya ain’t listenin’ ta’ me,” Daryl growled, his frustration mounting as he shot up to his feet. “We can’t do this — it ain’t right. They’ve — they’ve got kids here, ya know?” he pressed quietly, urging his brother to see reason.

But Merle simply stiffened, tucking his blade back into the holster of his jeans, regarding Daryl silently for a long moment. “So?” he finally rasped, face set in a stony expression as he folded his hands in front of him.

“So?” Daryl shot back incredulously.

“Ain’t on us if those lil’ shits starve, now is it?” Merle shrugged carelessly, no trace of humor in his gaze anymore. “We ain’t their daddies, are we?”

Daryl faltered, his response not entirely surprising but it did little to soothe his ever-present hostility.

“Don’t matter none,” Merle continued when Daryl remained silent, a hint of a sneer creeping across his face. “Ain’t like those Rugrats gonna last long enough ta’ starve ta’ death anyways,” he jeered, leaning coolly back in his chair, shrugging nonchalantly.

And Daryl had heard enough. Talking his brother out of an idea was like talking to a brick-fucking-wall. Merle could do whatever the hell he wanted — Daryl would have no part in it. So instead of playing into his brother’s antics and giving him the reaction he was poking for, Daryl turned on his heel and stormed away, muttering harshly beneath his breath.

But he’d only made it a few feet before Merle’s rasping voice stopped him dead in his tracks. “Ya got somethin’ ta’ say ta’ me, ya best be sayin’ it ta’ my face, lil’ brother,” he suddenly hollered and Daryl could hear the growing impatience in his voice. It was then that he realized that his brother’s shout had silenced every other conversation spread out amongst the camp, all eyes suddenly ping-ponging between the two brothers apprehensively.

Daryl clenched his jaw, turning around to find his brother now standing upright, his arms held out at his sides, clearly attempting to provoke him. But the younger brother remained steadfast, biting his tongue as he shot his brother a dark look.

“It seems ta’ me ya got an awful lot ta’ say, so why don’t ya go on an’ share with these fine folks,” Merle continued, egging him on, the sudden attention only stroking his massive ego as he turned to address the entire group, as if putting on a show. “My baby brother ain’t a man a’ many words — I’m sure y’all have caught on by now,” he placed a hand mockingly over his heart. “But my oh my, sure looks like there’s jus’ somethin’ real important an’ all that he needs ta’ get off his chest. Somethin’ he’s jus’ dyin’ ta’ share with y’all,” he finished boldly, motioning for Daryl to take over, his eyes challenging. “So, c’mon then, brother. Share with the class.”

Daryl’s gaze narrowed, feeling his blood begin to boil as he shot daggers in Merle’s direction, moments away from losing his composure.

“Let’s jus’ take it easy, alright?” Shane suddenly intervened, coming to stand between the brothers, holding his hands out. “Let’s jus’ be adults here, now,” he hissed quietly, giving each a stern look. “No need for this.”

“That’s right, Officer,” Merle quirked a brow. “That is exactly right,” he rasped, his words holding a heavier meaning as he leveled Daryl’s stare coldly.

“Alright boys, put your rulers away,” Lori suddenly chastised, coming to stand beside Shane, arms crossed over her chest, expression stern. “You’re scarin’ the children, now. Let’s just — let’s just start gettin’ dinner ready, alright?” she urged softly, hoping the brothers would hear reason and stand down.

But when neither of them spoke, each brother glaring at the other, eyes alight in some sort of silent struggle for power. “Enough,” Shane interjected once more, the tension radiating off the brother’s affecting the group as a whole. “I ain’t gonna ask either of ya again —”

“Alright, alright, relax cowboy,” Merle finally scoffed, waving Shane away. “Put a cork in it. We’ll play nice. No need ta’ get all dramatic, now.”

Shane shot Merle a dangerous look before he shook his head, running a hand over his face as he grabbed Lori’s elbow and gently pulled her away. Daryl remained unmoving, chest heaving as he waited for his brother to move first.

Merle whistled lowly, slowly turning on his heels, seeming like he was finally standing down. But then suddenly, he glanced at Daryl from over his shoulder, snickering softly. “Hey, ya think Officer Dickweed’ll let me borrow his handcuffs sometime? Jus’ in case I run into that piece a’ ass from earlier, ya know? I’d like ta’ be a lil’ more prepared next time,” he murmured lowly, an unsettling gleam in his eye.

And Daryl saw red.

Before he knew what he was doing, he found himself suddenly throwing his crossbow to the ground and launching himself at Merle, tackling his brother roughly to the ground. He heard vague shouts echoing from around him, could feel someone tugging on the back of his shirt, but all he could focus on was Merle’s taunting expression.

He was able to throw in one solid punch, feeling a swell of satisfaction as Merle’s head snapped to the side before he was yanked off his brother and hauled backward. Daryl struggled against the restraint, watching as Merle was pulled to his feet, Shane and Morales fighting to hold him back as well.

“Daryl, stop!” Glenn’s voice suddenly broke through the noise. “Just relax!” he urged, grunting as he and T-Dog struggled to hold the archer at bay.

“— let go a’ me, damn it!” Merle growled, his face twisted as he tried to wriggle free.

“Enough!”

“Break it up!”

“Shane —”

“Ain’t none a’ this concern none a’ y’all!” Merle snarled, still fighting against Shane and Morales, his eyes zeroed in on Daryl. “This between me an’ him,” he growled, jabbing a finger in the archer’s direction. “C’mon, Darlina — how’s about we settle this like men?”

“‘Well, what a’ sorry fuckin’ excuse for a ‘man’ ya are, then! Ya do nothin’ but shit for this group!” Daryl snarled back, all of his pent up rage spewing out of him. “Could’a done somethin’ useful today — but instead I find ya out there gettin’ high an’ doin’ some stupid shit ta’ an innocent girl, actin’ like a damn prick! Ya ain’t nothin’ but nothin’, Merle! Do ya get that by now? Huh?”

Merle movements stilled as he regarded his brother threateningly. “Ya best watch your mouth, boy,” he rasped darkly, his eyes narrowed as Shane and Morales slowly released him, still keeping him at arm's length. “Don’t be forgettin’ who you’re talkin’ ta’, now. Don’t be forgettin’ whose blood ya got runnin’ through ya. Ya don’t wanna go on an’ piss off the only family ya got left, the only family who ever watched out for ya an’ stood up for your pathetic punk ass!” he growled, the anger in his words growing.

Daryl scoffed, yanking out of Glenn and T-Dog’s grasp before marching over to where he’d thrown his crossbow down. He grabbed his weapon, ignoring the heavy silence that’d settled over the camp as he regarded his brother once more, feeling nothing but contempt. “Ya jus’ a fuckin’ waste a’ space,” he spat between heaving breaths, slinging his bow over his shoulder, the words feeling bitter on his tongue yet he couldn’t stop them from slipping through his lips. “A good-for-nothin’ addict — jus’ like dad.”

Daryl ignored the subtle flash of hurt that snaked its way across Merle’s face before his expression hardened. No one spoke, all eyes suddenly trained on him as the two brothers stared each other down once more.

Then, without another word, Daryl turned on his heels, shoved away the mounting swell of guilt that suddenly hit him, and stormed back into the darkened forest.

Daryl jolted back to reality, a metallic taste suddenly seeping across his tongue. He quickly pulled his thumb away from his teeth, noticing the blood now trickling down the side of his thumbnail. He sighed, wiping the blood away on his jeans as he focused back on the road.

Those were the last words he ever said to his brother. He hadn’t expected that fight to happen, hadn’t expected for those insults to come from his mouth, but Merle had always had a way of pushing him — and Daryl finally snapped.

But now his brother was gone and he’d never get the chance to mend things. His punishment for what he’d said was to wallow in the guilt that’d stay with him for the rest of his life — however short he had left, at least.

Another whimper drew his attention back to Anna and he glanced at her from the corner of his eye. Her brow was creased, lips turned down into a slight pout, eyes shut tight and crinkled around the edges. Sleep brought her no peace — she still looked just as weary, just as troubled, as she did when she was awake.

Daryl fought back the urge to reach out and wake her.

He sighed softly, forcing his eyes back on the road, away from the girl sleeping beside him.

When Daryl had found out what happened in Atlanta, that Merle had been left behind, handcuffed to the roof like a fucking animal, his first instinct was to lash out. That always seemed to be his first instinct for some reason. But he’d gone back for his brother — he’d made the trek back to that dead-ridden city to save him and what did his brother do? He cut off his own fucking hand instead.

Dumbass.

If Merle had just waited a little while longer, if he hadn’t been so damn impulsive —

Daryl grimaced. He’d seen some nasty shit in his life — but seeing his brother’s sawed-off, cold, limp, stump of a hand laying on that roof…well, that had to take the cake.

His stomach churned just thinking about it.

Still, his brother was tough — toughest son of a bitch Daryl had ever known. And he knew that Merle would never just roll over and give up…so the archer did what he did best and he tracked his ass.

And that had been a dead-fucking-end.

The only thing Daryl was sure of was that Merle had somehow made it out of the city alive. He had to have been the one who stole the truck that he, Rick, Glenn, and T-Dog had driven down to the railroad. It had to be him.

So now, Daryl was left to live with the unknown — the fate of his brother was something he’d wonder about until the day he died. Maybe Merle had succumbed to the effects of his injury, crashed the truck, and bled out somewhere on the road. Maybe he found his way back to the quarry and realized that the entire group had upped and left him, that his own brother had upped and left him. Maybe he’d made it somewhere safe, found a new shelter, a new group of people to take him in.

Daryl scoffed under his breath. Merle had a better shot of winning the fucking lottery than he did finding a group of people who’d put up with his bullshit.

Just because you gave up on your brother, doesn’t mean I’m giving up on mine.

His grip tightened around the steering wheel as Anna’s words echoed through his thoughts, their argument from last night settling like a pit in his stomach.

A fresh wave of fury washed over him as he remembered Anna’s desperate shouts, Shane’s greedy advances, and the blistering red heat that’d coursed through him when he came out of his room and saw her pinned up against that wall.

He could’ve killed Shane right then and there.

Daryl’s eyes darted up to the rearview mirror, spotting Shane driving his Jeep directly behind him in the caravan of vehicles, the man’s face twisted with tension, eyes narrowed as he stared straight ahead. But he must’ve felt the archer’s gaze on him because suddenly, his eyes flashed up to meet Daryl’s in the rearview mirror. The two held one another’s stare for a long moment before Shane finally looked away, letting his arm dangle outside the open window of his Jeep, his fingertips drumming against the door.

He should’ve killed Shane right then and there.

Anna shifted in the passenger seat, curling inwardly, arms wrapped around her middle as she tried to find comfort against the glass window she leaned against. After a moment, she sighed softly, her even breathing resuming as she settled against the door.

Daryl let go of the breath he hadn’t realized he’d been holding.

He was hoping Rick would pull the RV over sooner rather than later for the group to reconvene, giving him a chance to escape the small confines of the car and the inevitable tension when Anna finally woke up. She’d tried to talk to him about what happened between them back at the CDC, but it hadn’t been the right time — it never seemed to be the right time.

So he’d brushed her off — but not for the reasons she probably thought.

As memories from the night before swarmed his vision, something suddenly made itself startlingly clear. The truth was, she’d been right — he had given up on his brother.

But not her — he hadn’t given up on her.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A/N : Season 2 has begun!

We got to see a little flashback about that brutal fight Daryl and Merle got into, part of what has been fueling his hostility. As well as some of his conflicting thoughts. What’d you guys think of this chapter?

Next chapter will also be from Daryl’s POV -- we’ll be seeing a flashback of the night before and what exactly happened to Daryl after his and Anna’s argument. And then we will be switching back to dear Anna’s side of things.

I’m excited for what’s to come. Thank you to those who’ve stuck with me. I appreciate you all so so so much. If anyone is lost or has any questions, feel free to shoot me a message!

QUESTION OF THE WEEK: 1. Are you still interested in me continuing this story? I understand if not because it’s been so long and I, myself, couldn’t even remember everything that’s happened. 2. Was Daryl right in what he said to Merle? Who’s side are you on?

Feedback is INCREDIBLY important. I write for my own happiness, but I also write for YOU. So don’t be afraid to shoot me an ask or message or leave a comment with your thoughts! It truly motivates me and helps move along the writing process. Let’s discuss and be friends!

If you want to be notified when I post again, let me know and I’ll add you to my tag list!

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FOREVER TAG LIST

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him-e · 5 years

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Hi, I'm the anon who wrote the 5 asks about the Dany plotline and GRRM. I'd like to apologize to u for lashing out, it was uncalled for and u have every right to state those opinions regardless of what I (or anyone else) think. Feeling hurt by the show wrt Dany's story made me react badly to the idea that it was actually acceptable, especially coming from someone whose ideas I appreciate so much and have spent hours invested on. You can answer them, delete them, idk, I just wanted to say sorry.

No need to apologize, anon! I’m currently on semi-to-full hiatus and that’s why I’m being so slow at answering messages—and yeah, I understand the frustration completely, and I don’t blame you for it. ;))

I’m going to answer your ask anyway. Long reply after the cut:

I hope this doesn’t come off as offensive or confrontational bc that’s not the point, I’ve enjoyed reading your ASOIAF/GoT and TB metas for years and would not reply to them if I weren’t invested on them. That said, I’d like to ask why do you insist on 1) arguing that Dany’s dark turn was reasonable if you don’t hate her and 2) defending D&D and blaming GRRM for what happened on the show. When it comes to 1), sure, Dany might *accidentally* burn KL, but to willingly choose to burn thousands of innocents? She may accept that some casualties would have to occur, but not in the way that the show presented (in that she had the choice to not kill anyone but did). You argue that that direction was valid of because of the recurring theme of how power corrupts, but then I’d argue, what if it were Sansa, another character very much involved in the world of politics? Would you be ok if people argued that it’d make sense for her to give up her ideals and become just as power-hungry and cynic and bitter as Littlefinger? Probably not; what’s the point if those characters become their worst possible selves? Dany was made a villain, was implied to be mad and was called “your satanic majesty”. I really can’t see how you could call those writing decisions valid. When it comes to 2), I’m not saying GRRM is perfect, he’s been quite callous in the book series and especially in F&B when it comes to social issues, but D&D are also professional writers with critical thinking skills and moral values of their own who could have tried to alleviate the problems in the books and not made things even worse. That’s why I don’t get why you’re blaming GRRM for what D&D wrote when the former wasn’t even involved in the ending’s writing process aside from possibly giving them an outline of what happens. GRRM should be criticized for what he wrote and will write, and the finale may have feel been a product of his ideas, but he still has no (moral or legal) responsibility in helping to make the TV show better or worse.

The reason why I maintain that the show’s ending is a (badly written) version of GRRM’s ending is that I can 100% see Martin’s blueprint in the climax+anticlimax structure of the season. The way it twists the audience’s expectations and delves into what happens AFTER the final battle is won, the way it subverts the most reliable narrative conventions and, instead of building up in a crescendo towards a final spectacle where the heroes would sacrifice their lives to save the world in a blaze of glory, it shifts gears almost unpleasantly, slows down to show what happens to them once their heroic purpose is fulfilled and zooms in on their identity crisis, their depression and isolation and sudden lack of purpose… it’s all too deliberate, and IN MY PERSONAL OPINION it’s done with a vision in mind—something I don’t believe d&d would spontaneously put any effort in, especially not if GRRM had already served them a perfectly fine, crowd-pleasing endgame involving Dany’s heroic sacrifice against the Others.

I understand my stance might come across as “defending d&d and blaming GRRM”, but I’m really not? I’ve often repeated how I believe d&d messed things up and that GRRM’s version will make infinitely more sense and be infinitely better written, and I’m sure he will avoid the pitfalls of cynical, circular storytelling, because he’s ultimately a better writer and someone who believes in idealism and true heroism even as he deconstructs it. How can the overall narrative remain uplifting & give a message of hope and faith for humanity while still telling a story that ends with Dany’s descent into “true villainy” (but haven’t we repeated ad nauseam that heroes and villains are too reductive categories for asoiaf?), I don’t know, but it’s not my job to figure it out, and I ultimately trust & respect Martin’s vision and ability to tell the story HE wants.

sure, Dany might *accidentally* burn KL, but to willingly choose to burn thousands of innocents? She may accept that some casualties would have to occur, but not in the way that the show presented

1) I’ve always conceded that, while I think the gist of the storyline is Martin’s, there’s absolutely no guarantee that the battle of King’s Landing will go as we’ve seen in the show, or even happen at the same point of the story (for one thing, Young Griff & JonCon will probably be involved, and that seems more likely to happen before, and not after, the war for the dawn);

2) That said, what I’m relatively confident of, at this point, is that Dany will NOT die in the WftD as a self sacrificial hero (this is entirely FANON SPECULATION, and people treating it like a fixed point in the universe, something the narrative is “inevitably” building towards, is one of the reasons the fandom seems unable to critically analyze show!Dany’s evolution without going hysterical about it and resorting to no true scotsman arguments. I’ve often complained about the dangers of elevating fan theories to canon status, and trust me I never wanted to go full cassandra about this, but here we are). The details and plot points leading up to this might be wildly different from the show’s version, but I think Dany will survive the WftD, which will leave her directionless and purposeless and doubting the truth of her heroic destiny for the first time in her life after she hatched the dragons, and that she’ll cross the ultimate moral horizon in a hail mary to restore that sense of self, that sense of purpose, completing her parabola from princess in rags, to breaker of chains, to conqueror, to savior of humanity, to conqueror again, to TRAGIC HERO. How can this be a valid writing decision, you asked—well, why shouldn’t it? Is something only valid as long as it pleases the audience? What screams tragic hero more than the hero turning into the very thing she swore to eradicate, and realizing it only when it’s too late? There’s something genuinely chilly in Dany’s “if I look back, I’m lost” refrain. This is the mantra of someone who thinks the only way to stay alive is to cross one threshold after the other. So far this coping mechanism has brought her higher, and higher, and higher. But what if it will be her downfall? “I tried to grasp a star, overreached, and fell”, indeed;

3) Dany’s burning KL *accidentally* is like Stannis burning Shireen “but only if the circumstances are dire enough / the stakes are high enough”. No offense, but this is typical stan logic: you admit the possibility that your faves might go through a dark phase but you don’t want to have to unstan them, so you want them to do bad things for good reasons, or because there’s no other choice, or because “they didn’t know”. That’s understandable, but I don’t think Martin is the type of writer to give his character free passes or soften the blow of their moral crucibles like that. This is NOT to say that the show did Dany’s dark turn WELL, because it DIDN’T—her motivations were all over the place, the turning point (the bells) wasn’t believable because it lacked connection to her character arc, the narrative backed away from showing the attack from her pov which betrays the writers’ inability to make sense of this psychological downfall from HER perspective, etc. But to say “Dany will NEVER! BURN! INNOCENTS! ON PURPOSE!” sounds very, very premature to me.

(re: Sansa, hasn’t power corrupted her too, to an extent? Hasn’t she lied, schemed, manipulated, spilled secrets, in order to restore & secure the Stark hold on the North? Isn’t she queen, in part, because the rest of her family was scattered at the four corners of the known world? I’m not particularly happy with the way she was written this season, and I think some of her choices were questionable; but at the same time I reject the idea that a character ending up more flawed, or morally ambiguous, or less likeable than they were at the beginning must necessarily be bad storytelling)

I’m not saying GRRM is perfect, he’s been quite callous in the book series and especially in F&B when it comes to social issues, but D&D are also professional writers with critical thinking skills and moral values of their own who could have tried to alleviate the problems in the books and not made things even worse. That’s why I don’t get why you’re blaming GRRM for what D&D wrote when the former wasn’t even involved in the ending’s writing process aside from possibly giving them an outline of what happens. GRRM should be criticized for what he wrote and will write, and the finale may have feel been a product of his ideas, but he still has no (moral or legal) responsibility in helping to make the TV show better or worse.

Martin is not responsible of the show’s writing, but he is responsible of the outline he gave to the showrunners, and right now I have no reason to believe they didn’t follow it, at least for the most part. For years I’ve been told that “the show is not the books”, and while that’s certainly true, I can’t, and won’t, separate the show from the books when it comes to book speculation, because the show is still for all intents and purposes an ADAPTATION of the book series, and while it’s irresponsible to expect it to be a 1:1 transcription of what will happen in TWOW and ADOS, it’s also equally (imo) irresponsible to act like the two canons have nothing to do with each other and that it’s stupid to use the show as a resource for book speculation. If people want to pretend the show never happened, good for them, but that’s not the way I think, personally. I don’t blame GRRM for the show’s faults, and my reservations are actually 90% about the EXECUTION of the plot which is ENTIRELY on d&d, but there’s a 10% of my concerns that is about the IDEA in itself, regardless of context and execution—the idea of the story ending with a bittersweet anticlimax involving the death/downfall of the MOST PROMINENT FEMALE HERO OF THE SERIES, who is also the carrier of the most subversive anti-establishment political message in the story.

tldr: I’m not criticizing GRRM for what he hasn’t written yet, but I can certainly criticize him for what I think is a (however botched) adaptation of his outline, if the main selling points of said outline are questionable in themselves. No one can convince me that GRRM told d&d that Jon and Dany would die heroically to save the world and they ARBITRARILY decided to fuck it up for shock value or whatever, and just accidentally stumbled onto a more subversive and provocative ending than what Martin HIMSELF was planning. (that would make them two geniuses, even if the execution sucked, lol)

and if i’m wrong about it, well:

but until then…

#anon #asks #got wank #got asks for ts #got discourse #got finale #got negativity #show vs books #dany discourse #dany**#grrm #asoiaf spec #asoiaf endgame

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adrienaline-rushed-art · 5 years

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Can you do Marinette for next character ask/ml sugar pls?

Why I like them: Despite being immature in many ways— I guess by that, I mean her obsessive behavior, but really guys… she *just* turned 14. You know who else is 14? 1D fanfic writers (but more on that later)— in other ways, she’s more mature than adults. First, she’s self-aware, and she’s willing to take responsibility/humble herself when the time comes. Even though a lot of this is because Tikki guides her, it means a lot that she actually listens. I know so many adults that would rather be petty.

And when I say self-aware I mean a lot of things. For one, she understands when she’s doing something… mm… not so great. Many of these things are for comic relief/exaggeration/situational comedy/slapstick (which is pretty much the extent small children get from it), but it’s still evident that she feels guilty or hesitant.

does that look like the face of someone who’s comfortable with her own actions?

Kids who watch heroes look for (and need) confidence and justice. Neither of which are happening in this scene or in some others, and from the kids that I know… they’re totally aware of it. Some might blatantly shout at Marinette as they watch her do something wrong, others might not say anything but… trust me they aren’t taking notes.

The thing is, I’m glad she’s a main female character… who screws up…. a loT. The hero isn’t supposed to be perfect, and I mean that in a general way. Flat villains are perfect in their own realm, so I don’t think imperfect characters are only better for writing, they’re better people or can become better people. A perfect individual is a comfortable and consistent one, a person needs ups and downs to improve.

It’s a bit like kim possible, except Marinette commits more errors because she’s younger and less adventurous… so in a way she’s a bit naive to the world (Kim Possible may as well be an ambassador, so she’s cultured and still makes really cringey mistakes eyes the wheelchair episode). We grew up watching her make these mistakes so we could see them get fixed, if they never happened we wouldn’t know for better or for worse. What’s more, it’s most important coming from the main character. So… I’m proud of her.

Another thing is that she watches her own behavior in the future. She’s learning to trust that Adrien won’t fall for Lila’s gags, she’s learning to talk to him and move away from being a fan (bluntly pointed out in Troublemaker, she actually sees herself as more of a fan than as a friend. Yes, she was lying to cover herself, but she had pictures of all of her friends up… she didn’t use friendship as an excuse? And why did the excuse come to her so naturally? It might be obvious, but she gets flustered and doesn’t come up with good lies… honestly ‘because im a fan’ is pretty fair), and she’s learning how to treat Chat Noir.

I would almost say in Season 1 that Ladybug was pretty flippant to Chat Noir, and I know it was cute at times but people usually behave this way with someone they feel close to already… so why didn’t she ever take the time to take him seriously? Ever since Glaciator, Ladybug has learned how sensitive he is. She didn’t judge him so quickly as to assume that he felt entitled to her, or that he was throwing a simple/unimportant tantrum that could be shrugged off. She took the time to read into the situation and see what exactly was going through his head. Emotions are never a joke, especially in a city where someone like Hawkmoth is a concern. She was cool and collected like a therapist, especially because she sympathized where his feelings were coming from (not too long before she had gotten upset with some ice cream man that was just doing his everyday thing and ditched her friends because she felt hopeless and betrayed by Adrien). Granted she never said anything against him, but she didn’t get forced into a situation where she had to confront him either.

She also knew that reacting harshly would only make things worse, and then neither of them would get off from their high-horse. Compassion is what gets a person to reflect and feel respected. She looked him sincerely in the eyes and apologized, and she expected the same from him. She set the stage, and he responded. They ended up fine, and he even reacted well to the infamous ‘friendzone’, because well… he treasures friends too, and he didn’t know Ladybug considered him to be one. Ladybug was surprised, but now that she knew he had felt abandoned not only that night but since the beginning, she took note that he has trouble reading when a person cares about him deeply (and we all know he does, his love receptors are broken both in his household and as seen in the most recent ep).

She is much softer with him now but very explicit. She doesn’t beat around the bush, she tells him exactly what he needs to hear.

“Chat Noir! You know you’re irreplaceable.”

Look at that face, he knows now that you said it.

It’s actually quite motherly… I mean this is a perfect response. She adjusts to the needs of her friends accordingly rather than treating them equally, because friends don’t always need the same thing. Equity over equality. She’s an excellent example and so much more than the “Huff… I’m a strong independent woman and I don’t care about men and if anyone ever sasses me I’ll choke them. Also I don’t paint my nails, that’s for babies” You can be strong and independent without sacrificing any of these things. It’s not about making enemies, it’s about standing up for yourself— and those you care about.

I could look for so many examples of how she looks out for her friends and makes sure to mind their feelings and experiences before getting all defensive, but that would be… the entire show.

She’s imperfectly perfect and perfectly imperfect.

Favorite episode (scene if movie): Zombisou... and maybe Chameleon and Oniichan. She was angry about so many different things and had so much pressure on herself— including the fact that in each of these she had to protect/comfort/defend someone anyone else in their right mind would rather spit on. But Marinette is noble, she knows how to keep herself together when she needs to. When it comes down to it, the people she’s so angry with are human too. They have hearts with burdens of their own that she doesn’t even know about, if something were to happen to them she would care. She has the responsibility to keep them safe, but also she wants to. There’s a difference between a pain in the ass and a monster, and besides she isn’t the judge of the universe, it’s not her place to decide what someone gets and doesn’t get. Maybe they aren’t getting everything they deserve, but if every human being got what they deserved we’d all be struck dead by lightning.

And she certainly doesn’t wish death upon them. And as we’ve all noted, whether it’s seen publically or not... what goes around comes around.

Favorite season/movie: Season 2 wins again... for now, it aint over yet

Favorite line: Uhh... dang it this again... how about the one above? “You know you’re irreplaceable?” and every other uwu line she has. She is so soft hhuhhggn

Favorite outfit: The cute lil maid outfit from Animaestro

OTP: Well it’s the same as what I put for Adrien, Marichat. For noncanon... mmm.. I think Kagaminette but Ninette is p damn close

Brotp: I mean??? ALyanette duh. But you know since right now Ladynoir is technically platonic.... they’re pretty lit as bros too (marichat is too but so far fanon is the only place they’ve truly become bro bros)

Headcanon: She wouldn’t have all of those pictures of Adrien if she felt even remotely close to him. I think those fics where she has photos up of Chat Noir should be canon, just like how she has ones of her friends, but she has soo many of Adrien which sets him apart from friendship like I said before. She’s insecure and taking advantage of the fact that he’s famous af, none of us can truly relate to having access to so many amazing photos of our crushes... and to sort of continue with the next question..

Unpopular opinion: These days a phone’s photobook may as well be a private wall to hang pictures on so really... Marinette is an exaggeration of exactly what people do— mostly young girls, which she happens to be— and hey get off of your crushes Instagram while you’re at it. It’s actually pretty normal, it’s not the best behavior but again, you need to have that cringey low to climb higher. And anyhow it’s all for the joke of it, no one is supposed to take these things seriously. But I’ll let you all know when my younger cousins start hanging up stalker photos of their noncelebrity crushes “because marinette did it so it must be ok”

Honestly, not even the borderline ooc things are that bad. Like... they’re bad... but it’s a good thing to show, as in it’s not too horrendous to use as an example. It works because it’s so unrealistic, but with very real behaviors that kids need to address in themselves by watching Marinette. I would say some of her actions straddle between IC and OOC, not either-or.

(WARNING: Do not read on if you have intensely strong feelings toward L/u/k/a to the point of sensitivity over any mild criticism as a character or as he is written. If you’re pretty chill reading anything then you’re fine, I didn’t say anything cruel I only gave an opinion as mildly as I could. The point of the honest opinion section is not to be salty but to express my point of view without insults)

Her crush on Adrien at this point in time is no more or less unhealthy than her crush with L/u/k/a— which is still unclear because for some reason In Silencer she still looked like she was on the brink of deciding she had a crush. She’s kind to L/u/k/a and he’s kind back, but she isn’t very nice. The difference is that it’s not very nice to ask someone on a date to spy on your main crush, it’s not very nice to indulge in the affection someone gives you as a chew toy while you wait for your crush and try avoiding the guy who is deeply in love with you and you sorta like him too. (He fell for her incredibly quickly and she did too despite feeling insulted by him moments before, unfortunately he’s a fallback she feels almost nothing for and she’s directing her ‘oh-no-feelings-for-someone-who-isnt-adrien’ chat noir attack to l/u/k/a because with him, she knows its easily uprooted).This goes back to the importance of not always being at your best behavior for a child audience to learn from you, but my unpopular opinion is that she and Adrien are not toxic and she and l/u/k/a are not a godsend. He’s also the equivalent of a High school sophomore dating an 8th grader? So... it’s kinda weird that he’s advancing? (I censored his name for the sake of avoiding conflict, I’m stating this for the unpopular opinion and I said it in as straight as I could because I don’t want salt to touch this. I respect L/u/k/a as a character, he’s a good boy. I’m disagreeing and agreeing to disagree by trying not to engage.)

Wish: Please, let her find out Chat Noir’s identity first... I beg you.

An oh-god-please-dont-ever-happen: Except don’t let the reveal happen right after one of them is rejected... that... that would be really bad.

5 words to best describe them: Noble, responsible, creative, strong, kind

My nickname for them: I like Marigold and Shortcake, I’ve used them in fics and I cry

anyway she’s one of the best protags don’t @ me when I have kids they’ll be watching her and adrien and they will be who they’re raised on

#miraculous ladybug #ml headcanon #ml sugar #miraculous ladybug sugar #marinette dupain cheng #ask #cass answers #Anonymous #letsescapismlife #yes this is how long it takes me to write these posts out and that's probs why I couldn't get to it all this time

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aweebwrites · 5 years

Text

Original Ending

So you guys remember that fic I wrote for Ninjago Valentine's Week? I had to cut it short because mobile but here's the original ending. If you haven't read it, I recommend doing so to understand this since I didn't start from the top. Enjoy!

_______________________

"You wanted to talk?" Zane prompts curiously.

"Yeah..." Cole says, scratching the back of his neck sheepishly before stepping closer, ignoring the frigid water lapping at his hooves. "I kinda wanted to say something a long time ago but I didn't know how to say it, you know?" He says, pulling something out of the small satchel he always carries and lowered himself to his knees, shivering when the cold water lapped at his underbelly but ignoring it in favor of what he held in his hand.

Zane on the other had was still curious but was anticipating now. Was he saying what he hoped he was?

"I talked to Nya during the summer for the best thing I could offer you to not screw this up and well..." Zane lifted himself up on his hands unconsciously, heart pounding as Cole stretched his hand out to him.

Zane gasped softly, seeing the gorgeous pearl in his hand, his eyes widening as his pale cheeks turned light blue with his version of a blush.

"I really like you Zane... More... More than just friends." Cole says, glancing away as his tail flicked anxiously. "And I was hoping you'd let me court you." He says, catching the mer's eyes again, swallowing nervously.

"Cole..." Zane says breathlessly, in awe of the large pearl and at his words. "Of course. Yes." As if there was ever a doubt.

There was no question about it. He had been nursing a crush for the strong stallion with a kind smile and gentle hands since he first met him. He hadn't said anything up until now, despite what Nya told him because he was seen as a monster and he didn't think he could handle the rejection when crush spiraled into love so quickly.

"Really?!" Cole says, baffled yet excited.

"Really." Zane smiled, accepting the pearl and craidling it gently, core warming at the sight of it.

He's never seen any this big before. His webbed hand couldn't fully close over it.

"Great." Cole says with a relieved sigh before grinning wide.

Zane looked up at Cole again and shifted closer, reaching out and tugging him down by the wool vest. Cole flushed, now nose to nose with the beautiful cold water mer.

"May I... Kiss you?" Zane asked softly, learning the term from Nya and seeing it from Jay and Kai.

It seems like a very important part of courting for land creatures so he would like to do the same with his land creature.

"U-um yeah. Sure." Cole got out, face red but anticipation building inside him.

Zane nods once before he closed his eyes and pressed his lips against Cole's.

‘Hot…’ Was Zane's first thought at his first kiss.

Cole was having opposite thoughts but neither minded. Taking the initiative, Cole cupped Zane's cheek and deepened the kiss, his tongue sliding against Zane's longer and smoother one. He tasted so much like cold and ocean and… And Zane. A low crooning sound had Cole pulling back, curious to the sound and where it came from. Instead, he saw Zane with cheeks blue with blush and lips puffy from their kiss.

“Forgive me. I only make that sound when I'm-”

“Wait, you made that sound?” Cole asked, surprised.

Zane nods and Cole… Found he liked it.

“Oh, OK.” Cole nodded as he swiped his thumb against his cheek he still held, smiling warmly once Zane leaned into it. "I know things won't be easy what with me being a centaur and you a mer but I went to this sea witch earlier-"

"You what?!" Zane hissed, flinching back with wide eyes as he almost dropped the pearl.

"I- um... I went to a sea witch..." Cole says, taken aback and confused at Zane's horrified expression.

"Sea witches are not to be trusted Cole! They are tricky and devious beings! Whatever they promised you will come at a cost you may not be able to pay!" Zane says, breathing picking up, worrying for his courted. "What did you ask them to do?" He asked, hoping there was a way out of it.

"I asked her for something that would let me breathe under water so I could be with you there." Cole says quietly and Zane couldn't help but awe at his thoughtfulness.

"Cole... That was thoughtful of you but we could have made it work still. I can breathe air for as long as I'd like. My only concern would be drying out." He says, reaching up and cupped his cheek with his cold, webbed hand, making Cole shiver but lean into it. "You're cold. Let's head inside with the other and we can discuss how to get you out of this." He says as he slithered backwards into the water.

"She was trustworthy though. Even Master Wu trusts her." Cole says as he got up on all fours and began trotting along the coastline as Zane swum in the shallows, head out of the water.

Zane frowned at that. Master Wu is a dragon who can take a more humane form at will. He is almost as old as this world itself and was the one to teach them all about their powers. If he trusted a sea witch then they were trustworthy indeed. But even that didn't soothe Zane's worry.

"What did she give you?" Zane asked instead as he slithered along the coast really.

"Some kind of potion. She says it will only work when it's time. Sadly I didn't get when that time is." Cole huffed, slowing down as he came to the entrance to the cave where Kai left a few feathers in the outside wall to warn anyone who were not friends to stay away.

Phoenix harpies may be extremely rare but every creature knew their beautiful feathers anywhere and knew it meant agony if they trespassed.

"We'll talk more on the inside." Zane says and Cole watched as he slithered into deeper waters before diving under, his white and blue tailfin disappearing soon after.

Cole smiled to himself despite it all and headed inside, lowering his upper half until he got to the main cave that was nice and wide, able to fit them all and more. Inside, the light from outside was reflected inside thanks to the water, showing Kai who was preening Jay's feathers as they talked with Skylor and Nya who were in one of several pools in the cave. A splash alerted them that Zane had arrived and he climbed out of the main pool that lead to the sea into a slightly smaller one that was closer to the group and was easier to keep cool with his powers.

"Do you feel strange now? Or did you then?" Zane continued questioning.

"No. Not at all." Cole says, settling next to his pool, leaning against the edge.

"What's going on there?" Jay asked curiously.

"Cole went to a sea witch and I'm-"

"YOU WHAT?!" The others immediately blurted.

"Wu trusts her! Mistaké's pretty cool!" Cole defended.

"Oh." They all said, relieved.

"If Wu trusts her then it'll be fine." Kai dismissed, adding another blue feather to the small pile he had going.

"Yeah. Remember that time I got sick and set off this wicked storm that torched everything?" Jay asked, ruffling his right arm of feathers Kai was done with.

"How could I forget? One hit the pool and nearly fried me." Nya says drily.

"Yeah, still sorry about that... But! She came over and gave me some stuff to make me better and it worked in a few minutes! No side effect aside from being unable to use my lightning for a few hours." Jay shrugged.

"I suppose..." Zane relented, relaxing and trusting Wu's judgement.

He glanced down on the pearl firmly clutched in hand with a small smile Cole saw- and made him grin like a dork.

"Holy moley pearl!" Nya gasped, peaking over into his pool to see it.

"So you two are finally courting?" Skylor asked, flicking her tail back and forth in the water.

"Ye- finally?" Cole asked her with an arched brow.

"Nya's been telling me about you two for two years now. Honestly I was gonna intervene if you two didn't get together before we have to split up again." Skylor says with a smirk.

"Same." Kai says, running his talons carefully though the shorter feathers along Jay's thighs.

"I was just gonna dare Cole to say something." Jay shrugged.

"... I've been thinking..." Zane says, gaining their attention. "About splitting up. I was thinking... I should stay here." He says and Cole perked all the way up at that.

"And I could stay here too!" Cole says with a grin as he stood up, looking around the large sized cave. "I mean, it's about time I left the herd anyway. Me and my dad don't get along that much and... Well... I want to be anywhere you guys are." He shrugged and Zane fell in love all over again.

He was too precious.

"This is our favorite nest after all..." Kai shrugged.

"Plus the caves go a lot higher. Maybe even Master Wu can hang out here, and even the squirt." Jay suggests.

"It'll be a lot of work fixing this place up more but it'll be worth it in the end..." Nya shrugged.

"I wouldn't mind sticking around either." Skylor says as Nya wrapped her seal skin around her neck after she took it off.

"And with the pools already here and se- cure?!" Cole yelped once the rock below his back hooves gave away, sending him tumbling back into the water despite his desperate grasping of the rock with his front hooves.

"Cole!" His friends' panicked scream of his name was all he heard before there was water over his head and- he had to hold his breath!

He kicked against the water, trying to swim to the top but the current was dragging him further down, out of the water entrance to the cave and further on still. He couldn't surface! He could swim- all Centaurs could- but this current was too strong. He felt clawed hands under his arms trying to pull him up, a second pair holding him under his front hooves and yet another trying to push him up but it was no use. His lungs were on fire! He had to breathe! If he didn't, he'd die! And if he did, the results were the same.

His vision began to blur as his kicks began to lose stamina. He saw panicked blue eyes before a white tail passing by upwards. He couldn't hold his breath any longer... He was going to... Cold lips pressed against his, breathing air into his lungs but it wasn't enough. His lung capacity is greater than a mer's. As soon as his mouth pulled away, he breathed in. The burning stopped at least but now he couldn't feel anything but the feeble working of his throat and lungs, trying to get air still as he we dragged along the current like a ragdoll. He reached out to touch his face once more but somewhere mid stretch, everything went dark.

"Cole! No!" Zane screamed once his eyes went dim and his heartbeat stopped but his scream was nothing but bubbles under the water.

Nya gritted her teeth as she held him still, tears vanishing instantly in the water.

"We're out of the current now. Let's get him to the surface." Skylor says through clicks urgently, not willing to give up.

They can save him. They will! Zane swallowed then nodded, all of them holding a section and swimming up away from where they knew the currant was. When they broke the water, it was to anxious phoenix and storm harpies hovering over the water.

Jay gasped once he realised he wasn't moving, his red rimmed eyes filling with tears.

"Is he?..." Kai whispered, tears threatening to fall.

"We have to get him to shore. Now." Skylor says, even as they swam as fast as they could with him.

They pushed him up onto shore, Kai dropping down and checking his pulse. He gritted his teeth and shook his head.

"No way in hell you're leaving us now Cole!" Kai yelled then began pushing at the torso of his horse half, barely budging it. "Dammit! I'm too light! Zane, Nya-" He stopped once he saw both mers and selkie not too far behind Cole, Nya comforting Zane as Skylor looked at him.

She shook her head and Kai gritted his teeth as he clenched his talons into his palm. Zane pulled away from a sobbing Nya to lean closer to Cole, trembling webbed hand brushing back his long hair from his face. He looked so peaceful. As if he was sleeping. He felt so numb as he gently stroked his pale cheek, not hearing his own anguished sobs over the deafening ringing in his ears but feeling them rock his body. He just got him…

Jay looked down at his best friend miserably, half blinded by his own tears. He was useless. Utterly useless in rescuing him. If he had… If he had… Done something other than spectating then maybe… Maybe… Kai pulled him into his chest, kissing the top of his head as he shook, his breathing heavy between choked off sobs.

“We-” Kai's choked up words died on his tongue once he noticed something. “What’s with that green glow?” He whispered, gaining Jay's attention.

He peeked out from Kai's feathers, at the body of their friend and realised that he was right. There was a weird smokey green glow around him now that turned the skin of his upper half the same green.

“Guys!” Jay yelled, drawing their attention to him.

“What is that?” Skylor asked as she shifted closer.

Nya gasped then.

“He drank a potion from Mistaké! Do you think-”

Her question was answered by Cole suddenly gasping, his instincts sending him to his hooves and out of the shallows, nearly giving Zane a heart attack. Said mer blinked owlishly at his courted, hand over his wildly beating heart as Cole coughed up an unhealthy amount of water from his lungs, his legs wobbling as he did so.

“Cole?!” Kai gasped as the centaur panted heavily, blinking confused.

“K-Kai?” Cole rasped, confused.

Didn't he just…

“Cole!” Jay screeched happily launching himself at his best friend, wrapping himself around his upper half and digging his talons into his flesh and repeatedly zapping him with his happy electricity.

“Ow! Ow! Ow!” Cole hissed and pried him off of him. “Glad to see you too pal but I still have feelings!” He says, holding him back at arm's length.

“Just checking.” Jay says cheekily then gave him a relieved smile. “I'm just glad you're back, no matter whatever you are now.” He says as Kai collected his mate.

“Yeah. You had us all for a while there.” Kai says with a grin as Cole looked himself over.

“Why am I green?” Cole asked as he looked at his hands then chest and hide.

His hide was still black but with a weird low green glow… He gasped.

“Am I a ghost?! Or a zombie?!” He asked, freaking out.

Nya huffed out a laugh as she leaned against Skylor. Yep. This is their Cole.

“Neither actually.” Zane spoke up, shock finally wearing off.

Cole's eyes instantly locked onto his courted before he approached, not feeling the coldness water at all. Not when he had Zane here, when he had a second chance with him.

“Zane…” Cole whispered as he lowered himself to his knees in the water, reaching down-and-out cupping both of his cheeks.

“Up North… There's a name for what you are now…” Zane whispered, reaching up a webbed hand to cup his cheek as well. “Kelpie.” He murmured, urging himself closer, his other hand tracing the beginnings of gills at the side of his lower half.

“Doesn't matter too much to me. I'm just glad I get a second chance with you.” Cole murmured, leaning down and pressing a kiss against his forehead.

Zane smiled softly, glad too. But after a day like today? He just wanted to curl up and sleep with his beloved.

*****************

Bonus:

“You know, I just realised. I could have tried shocking your heart.” Jay says a week later, perched on the edge of Cole and Zane's shared pool where Cole was getting used to breathing underwater.

“Yeah, no. You still don't have your voltage settings under control.” Cole says with narrow eyes, switching to air so he could speak. “All you'd do is make it impossible for me to come back.” He huffed, nuzzling Zane's throat where his mark would be when they were ready.

Zane only crooned, wrapping his tail around his front hoof as he pressed closer. That day gave him nightmares still but talking about it like this seems to help.

“Really, thank you for not doing that.” Zane says with a smirk, making Cole and Kai snicker while Jay pouted.

“And you were here when Mistaké came to talk to us. Cole was meant to die that day. There was nothing we could have done to change it.” Nya says, leaning on the edge of her pool and messing up the feathers in Kai's hair below.

It had ate at her how the water currant wouldn't listen to her, despite her being able to control nearly all aspects of water. She accepted it after that explanation. After all, faith was a fickle thing…

“I'm curious about you and Nya.” Kai says to Zane. “You need to stay in cold water and Nya needs to stay in warm. Sure the lake is pretty huge but I don't think it can do both.” He says, looking up at Nya.

“It can't right now but with some new currants and Zane's affinity for ice, it'll be cozy for us both. We can always meet up on the middle for a few hours too.” She shrugged.

“But aren't cold water mers territorial?” Skylor asked as she swung her purple scaled legs back and forth in the water from Nya's pool, her serpent tail doing the same.

“Just as much as your average warm water mer. If food is scarce on the other hand…” Zane says, recalling witnessing death matches over territory with plentiful food.

“It won't come to that. All of the lake is our territory- we made that clear. Even when Wu, Lloyd and whoever else we decide on get here in spring, we'll still have a lot of food to spare. Don't worry about it.” Cole says, pecking Zane's nose the mer promptly wrinkled cutely.

“We made clear? You mean you.” Skylor snorted. “Every squatter was scared speechless seeing a kelpie rise up out of the lake like a demon, flashing fangs and glowing green eyes. Hell, I nearly took off too.” She admits and they chuckled.

“Yeah. If anyone here is territorial, it's you.” Kai grinned.

“Luckily a certain someone just loves that~” Jay cooed and they all laughed at the blushing couple.

Zane smiled despite it though. His pod was unique but he loved them all.

(I love this au so much! You can definitely expect to see more of it popping up! Feel free to drop by in the asks if you have questions! My sleeping schedule is all over so I'll answer them as soon as I see them!)

#ninjago #glaciershipping #plasmashipping #amberphoenix #cole #zane #kai #jay #skylor #nya #ninjago kai #ninjago cole #ninjago zane #ninjago jay #ninjago nya #ninjago skylor #au #fantasy au #aweebwrites' work

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firebuug · 5 years

Text

ok here’s this. pokemon au ramble. because this week has just been me loving my ocs but bass boosted. under the cut!! this post will be REALLY long mainly because of the teams sorry!

pokemon au is pure bc no deaths or rlly bad things happen

buggy is a trainer who went on the pokemon journey for fun and as a coming-of-age kinda thing(also because he may or may not have burnt his house down with a litwick), but kinda stopped getting gym badges half way and decided to settle down and just take the road casually. he settled down with apoccy and they both run a little pokemon sanctuary and care for pokemon that aren’t able to go back to the wild or have some little quirk (for example a litwick that cant keep itself lit easily). he likes battling for fun rather than for glory, and when his rival (farrow, obvs) was like “ha im gonna beat u and become the champion and ur not” he was like “i mean ok have fun!” which makes farrow pissed. he’s a guy who really cares about pokemon’s feelings and basically got back into action from pokemon santuary-ing and fought against the coven (the bad guy team) to stop them from hurting anyone.

team:

- Ari (talonflame) (he flies around on her!)

- Lulu (chandelure) (his absolute baby and child)

- Fluffy (ampharos) (he named it fluffy when it was a mareep but then it evolved a bit and it wasnt fluffy anymore. its name is still fluffy tho)

- Big Boy (pelipper) (he’s a big ocean enthusiast but can’t swim and is a bit afraid of the water, so he uses pelipper to navigate over it and help him fish)

- Ellis (sylveon) (he wanted him to be a flareon but he loved them a lot and he ended up becoming a sylveon but buggy still loves him 100%)

- Musha (musharna) (musha helps him go to sleep easier and stay awake better as well, it’s basically his service pokemon ahghjhdjkf. she’s usually floating by his side!)

i think mendel would be a pokemon professor bc he studies pokemon. how he was even trusted enough to hand out pokemon to small children is a mystery, but gene takes care of most of the friendly stuff with handing u ur pokemon and stuff, mendel just does the research. later on it’s revealed that mendel is part of the region’s bad guy group, the coven! (>:3cc) their goal is to fuse multiple powerful pokemon together into the perfect pokemon that is able to beat everything and everyone else, in a combination of every type in existence. (Idk if this is the plot of any game bc i dont remember the plot of any game past pokemon b/w honestly) eventually the protag gets them to not fucking destroy everything and befriend the big boy pokemon (juggy, but like pokemon) and the coven disbands their group and just live life as normal people not criminals bc pokemon verse is best verse

team: - Juggy (sivally) (idk shit about sivally or the sumo plot but it looks like a fusion pokemon and its cute so like um there we go ig. in the actual au itd probably be a completely new pokemon but im lazy)

- Cofagrigus (obvious reasons. if i didnt want to keep this au pure i wouldve mentioned he still grave digs)

-Mimikyu (shut up its cute)

- Flabebe (flowere) (”oh what a pretty flower, it will be great to work on. oh no its a pokemon. guess its my child now”)

- Arbok (its a snake he loves snakes he gives it little pats on the head and rattatas)

- Claydol (it has a ton of red eyes and its black and red what more do you want from him. also he thinks it is cool and its psychic so like hhuiionnghgh yeah)

gene is a pokemon docdor (he heals those boys up for you and takes care of them) and helps mendel out in research since they both share an interest in researching pokemon!!! he doesn’t know that hes part of the bad guy team that snatches up pokemon and doesn’t question any weird things he decides to research about until like the end. he’s really nice and’ll probably catch up to you along your journey just to see how you’re doing, check up on you, and give you cool stuff like the master ball n stuff. he has a big greenhouse where he grows berries and’ll give you some as gifts along the way. he battles you occasionally to see how strong you’ve gotten and’ll heal your pokemon when your done, giving you tips. he likes hanging out around forests and little garden areas.

team:

- Serperior (long boi. good noodle boi.)

- Comfey (C O M F E Y flowere boi)

- I lost my old gene team im so sad so i dont remember any of it

- Bitty (budew) (BABY BOY BABY! he loves them sm) (it evolves into roserade later on but shhhshhh baby budew)

- Swanna (pretty birb!!) (helps him water the plants in the greenhouse!!)

- Ana (unfezant) (HE NEEDS ANA OK)

- Audino (mega) (he needs that healy pokemon it’s essential) (theyre his little helper)

farrow is the stereotypical rival guy tbh. with buggy he was like “im gonna be better than u” and buggy was like “stop bullying me” but then just “ok” so he got bored. with skuggy it was more competitive, and they even battled each other right at the victory road’s entrance to see who was better, but they never got to complete the elite 4 trial since the coven juggy shit happened and they basically had to team up temporarily to stop these guys. when all of that was done farrow got back to challenging the elite four and trying to become champion, but he’s still struggling and is trying to train his team to become better while skuggy went “eh i’m done that was fun tho” and gave up. farrow hates being seen as weak and wants to have the strongest team, but he still loves his pokemon even if he pushes them near the limit sometimes while all focused up on winning.

team:

- Ally (linoone) (theres no possum pokemon and im mad but he likes ferrets too so) (or uh. long raccoon?) (either way he loves ally and she’s kind of a tank)

- Mittens (incineroar) (this was his starter, somehow, since he took the traditional trainer coming-of-age path and went to become the best.) (he loves his cat even if it did become....bipedal and buff??????) (They share the same big ego and victory flexing) (he rides on mittens’s shoulders sometimes or mittens carries him with arms in the air like a king)

- Rogue (liepard) (cate!!) (also it really fits him!!!) (he loves his thief cat and steals everyone’s items with it and makes them mad) (skuggy has cursed this cat out for stealing all his pokemon’s items at least twice before while both her and farrow looked on grinning smugly)

- Jasper (noivern) (i associate farrow with bats a lot, i think he likes bats now) (big fuckig boy who farrow flies on and farrow really likes battling with) (when farrow is out travelling and is tired and it’s late but he can’t find anywhere to stay, jasper shields him and makes whats basically a mini tent with his wings around him)

- Doggo (houndoom) (Farrow named him doggo as a joke but it stuck) (Fire dog with evil aesthetic! Farrow loves this) (He’s a good dog and farrow pats him for doing good work. he sniffs out berries and items for him on the road and is like his guard dog.)

- Snippy (gliscor) (another bat babey) (i might change it but idk) (it’s a sneakey boy) (he is also a tank and poisons everyone’s pokemon) (farrow accidentally gets stung by him like twice a week)

skuggy is a trainer who set out on the pokemon journey as a means to get out of his shitty house and family, collecting pokemon to help defend himself, but ended up really loving pokemon (especially bug types) and trying to take on a few gyms while he was at it. eventually he met farrow and it became kind of like a little race to see who can get the most gym badges first, giving him a motivation to travel the region and take on the elite 4. after the juggy fiasco he got a bit tired of fighting and decided he valued his pokemon a lot since they defended him and helped him fight back so he said “yknow what im gonna take a break from our race thing, im just gonna find somewhere to finally stay and chil out” while farrow was shaking the elite four’s door like “LET ME IIIIIN”. he’s kinda chill now and is thinking about going back and trying to fight the 4 someday, but for now he’s just a guy who catches bugs. he and gene hang out sometimes and go into forests n stuff. he’s still a butcher in this world ig. mans gotta make some money

team:

- Clove (scolipede) (his first pokemon, he caught it and went with it, but got really attached really fast) (she is his baby and he made it so far with her by his side and is really proud of both clove and himself for getting this far)

- Big Tony (armaldo) (he found a fossil pokemon and kept it since it’s rock type and can help ward off fire types, which is a big weakness of his team, but he ended up loving big tony too. i know theyre supposed to be like 4 foot 9 but please imagine big tony as a BIG boy that skuggy can ride on its shoulders and back to get around.)

- Babie (ribombee) (he caught this thing and said “this is the cutest shit i’ve ever seen.” went on to destroy dragon types and be the best bee ever.) (actually it’s pretty weak but skuggy believes in them)

- Toaster (heracross) (heracross was too cute for skuggy NOT to catch. it’s the powerhouse. this boy rips thru pokemon likes it’s nothing. unless it’s a fire or flying type. then it dies.) (it likes to f i t e and shares skuggy’s quick temper, because u know what they say, like pokemon like trainer)

- Big old boy (stoutland) (this was also one of the first pokemon he’s ever caught and it was really strong, defended him well and was kind of like the tank of the team, so he kept it. he likes sleeping on its back, and sometimes it has to remember it isn’t a tiny dog anymore because it tries to jump at skuggy to greet him and he gets fucking smashed.) (hes a very good boy, he’s very fluffy, and skuggy loves him so much and owes him his life)

- Jeff (swadloon) (skuggy loves his emo-looking son.) (ever since he beat depression in the dick he just cant help but see himself in swadloon) (but swadloon is happy, just very comfy and grumpy) (swadloon loves skuggy and skuggy loves swadloon) (i mean just look at him) (it’s perfect for skuggy)

okay i’m done here there’s obviously more people but this post is getting alarmingly long and i still need to make their teams. if u read this entire thing u deserve 20 cat images and more jesus christ u madman !!!!!!

#shut up bug #rambles #LONG post #txt #ocs #buggy #gene #mendel #juggernaut #farrow twells #skuggy #pokemon #happy #i really love pokemon au!!!

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crowkingwrites · 5 years

Text

Bang Bang!: Guilty (Ch.10)

Pairing: Ramsay Bolton X Reader

Summary: You are now a full-fledged member of the Red Kings. After your first successful mission, Domeric comes with troubling news: they’re being watched and there’s a mole among them. The Red Kings, Ramsay, and You now stand against a new enemy: Stannis Baratheon, a high ranking FBI member out to seek justice who may have his own dark secrets he’s trying to hide.

In this next part of the series, you will be tested, face old enemies, and encounter faces you’d thought you’d never see again. You thought you were safe, but the game has just begun.

Words: 2177 // Ao3 Link

[Chapter 1] [Chapter 2] [Chapter 3] [Chapter 4] [Chapter 5] [Chapter 6] [Chapter 7] [Chapter 8] [Chapter 9]

“What?” you responded. You saw the anger in his eyes. Something in him switched off.

“Everyone, get out. Now.” Ramsay commanded. Most men left the room save for Ben and Damon. Ramsay stared daggers at them. “I’m not repeating myself.”

“And I’m not leaving you alone with her,” Ben defended you. He stepped in between you both.

“Ben, you don’t have to—

“Shut up, Y/N.” Ben told you.

“He’s not going to hurt me,” you said defending Ramsay. In turn, Ramsay started laughing.

“Hurt you? Oh hun!” Ramsay looked around the room. A knife turned in his hands. What made it worse was that you had no idea where the knife came from. “You got some fucking explaining to do. And if you give me your shit about being a fucking whore, I’ll cut you up like one too. Just like Joffery did to your friend.”

His words cut just like the knife he turned in his hand. Your mouth hung open as you held yourself. Tears started to form in your eyes. You knew how mean Ramsay was, but this was a new level of low.

“Ramsay, that’s out of line,” Ben told him.

“You think I give a fuck? She was all over him. I saw it!” Ramsay started screaming. “You gonna fuck him too? Huh? What’s your problem?”

You tried to get a word in. “Ramsay—

“No, no, no,” Ramsay shook his head, twirling the knife in his hand. “Let me at her, Ben.”

“I’m not moving,” Ben said. He stood in place. Ramsay started laughing again.

“Oh, you gonna fuck my girlfriend too? Is that what you want? Is that what you’re doing, Y/N? You want everyone to fuck you? You miss being a whore?”

“Please don’t call me that, Rams,” you said, your voice breaking.

“I’ll call you what I want! You’re mine! Do you understand that? Mine!”

“Ramsay, you gotta calm the fuck down,” Damon interjected. “Someone here will call the cops and we’ll get fucked, okay? Calm down.”

Ramsay started to pace around the room. His breath shortened and his grip on his personal knife tightened. He made his way towards the kitchen and found a head of lettuce. Ramsay struck his knife through it several times, imagining it was your head. The thought did not go unnoticed by anyone there.

Ben and Damon stood in their places and watched Ramsay destroy the head of lettuce. Ben nodded at Damon and then turned to you.

“You got everything?”

“Yeah, why?” You said, not taking your eyes off of Ramsay just in case. Ben turned you around and guided you out the door.

“We’re leaving,” Ben ushered you outside.

“What? W-wait, Ramsay—

“No, we’re going. He won’t calm the fuck down, Y/N.”

“Ben, I have to do something. He’s really mad at me,” you said with tears in your eyes. You tried wiping them away. Ben dragged you to his car.

“No, we’re not arguing about this. You’re coming home with me tonight, ok? You need to stay away from him.”

“Ben—

“Y/N, we all heard you guys. It’s like you forgot you had a mic on. Ramsay does that for your safety, and here you are talking to another guy about your problems. Trusting him and he’s our enemy.”

“But, I talked to you and—

“That was between us, Y/N. Ramsay heard every single word you two said to each other,” Ben started his car. “I told you that you needed to talk to him.”

“I told you that he wouldn’t understand.”

“Yeah, and now look where that got us,” Ben said as he pulled out of the apartment complex. “I’m trying to help you, but I can’t do that if you pull shit like this. I told you that Ramsay cares about you more than you even understand.”

The car ride back to the brewery was in mostly silence save for the soft jazz music that played over the radio. Everything inside of you hurt. You held all of your fears and terrors inside of you. Your demons crept up to you at night and sometimes during the day. How could you even explain that to someone who hasn’t been afraid of death since he was thirteen? Truth was, you found comfort in Jon. He wanted to help you and he wanted to listen. Enemy or not, Jon Snow was someone you needed. It felt good to have someone understand you. It felt good to have someone say the same things you were scared of.

A slow, ugly feeling started to settle in you. You started to think that Ramsay would never even try to understand how you felt. And why would he? Ramsay was invincible. Nothing could touch him now.

You felt isolated in your world and the moment you reached out, Ramsay wanted to hurt you. You were his, and he meant that. If he was like this when you wanted help, then what would the rest of your future look like? Ramsay loved the dangerous and wild side of you. The parts that were sexy, murderous, and bad. The moment you were vulnerable or weak Ramsay couldn’t understand.

You laid in a different bed from Ramsay’s top floor bedroom. Damon’s bedroom was mostly left unused because he slept with so many other people. Still, it was good use to you. You stretched out on the bed, letting your body take up space and all the comfort you wanted. You felt your phone vibrate.

Damon: [Ben told me you were in my bed. Have fun, darling ;) But I wanted you to know, you did a good job. You distracted Jon enough to help all of those immigrants ass through. Innocent people are safer now because of you. Mance is gonna give us the weapons.]

You smiled to yourself. At the end of the day, the mission was complete. With Border Control distracted and taken down, people were now safer and happier. At least you had that. Your eyelids felt heavy, but the thought of Ramsay’s anger weighed heavier on you. You felt your phone vibrate again. This time, it wasn’t Damon.

Ramsay: [I wuznt gona hurt you]

Ramsay: [I don’t want to]

Ramsay: [Where r u]

Drunk Ramsay was nothing to mess around with, and you hoped that he would make it home okay. As drunk as he was, you wondered if he was still angry.

You: [Are you angry with me?]

Ramsay: [Nooooooooooooo. Where r u. I cant see you in the bar]

You giggled to yourself. Ramsay forgot about all of the arguing already. You wondered how many drinks that took him.

You: [I’m not at the bar. I’m in the brewery. In Damon’s room.]

Ramsay: [That’s what I said! I’m here! Where r u??????]

You: [I’m upstairs, silly. Damons room.]

Before long, you heard laughing and some shushing outside the door. It seemed like there was more than one person out there.

“She could be sleeping. You gotta shut up!” Damon laughed.

“She’s not sleepin’. She’s waitin’ for me, stupid.”

“Ramsay, come on, let’s take you upstairs.”

“No! She’s here. She told me!”

“You’’re not mad at her?”

“Mad? Why would I be mad with the hottest girl in the world? Fuck you.” Ramsay said, busting into Damon’s room. You wanted to snort with laughter, but you kept quiet and under the covers to see what Ramsay would do.

He stumbled more into the room and fell to the ground, laughing.

“Ramsay?”

“I fell!” He chuckled. “Where’s Y/N? Oh! There she is. Shhhhhhhh. She’s sleeping. See? I told you she was sleeping, stupid.” Ramsay pulled away the covers as softly as he could and made himself comfortable next to you. His arms wrapped around you tightly. He hummed in your ear as the door closed behind you both.

You didn’t move or budge. You still listened to Ramsay humming a song into your ear until he spoke again.

“You’re my favorite person. I like fucking you and kissing you and fucking you more,” Ramsay rambled on. “I could fuck you right now if I wanted to. But I wont. Youre sleeping.”

Ramsay yawned and curled up into you more, speaking his last words to you.

“I love my girl. I’ll always love my girl.”

The next morning you didn’t wake up in Damon’s bed, but in Ramsay’s bed on the top floor without Ramsay. You looked around, but you knew very well that you wouldn’t find answers to your questions here.

Wrapping yourself in a shawl, you made your way down to find a hungover Ramsay nursing himself back to normal. Your hand reached out to him until he caught your wrist. “Don’t bother me. I’m not in the mood,” Ramsay said. “Just go away.”

“Ramsay?”

“I told you to go away,” Ramsay repeated himself. Feeling rejected, you took Bacon and Eggs out for a walk. This time, Damon accompanied you.

“What happened?” you asked.

“I’m not so sure myself. Ramsay’s always been difficult to handle,” Damon explained. His cigarette smoke blew in the wind. “He loves you that’s for sure.”

“I don’t even know about that anymore.”

“Well you heard drunk Ramsay last night. ‘Why would I be mad at the most hottest girl in the world?’ He cares. Just in his own way.”

“Did this happen to the other girl?” you posed the question like it was a loaded gun. The answer could fire you off at any moment.

“No,” Damon assured you. “That I know for sure. Ramsay didn’t care about Beth the way he cares about you. Have you ever fallen in love before?”

“No,” you told Damon. It was the truth. “I signed a contract with Petyr when I started working for him. I wouldn’t get attached or romantically linked to anyone.”

“And before then?” Damon asked.

“I joined Petyr when I was 18 years old.”

“People can still fall in love before they’re 18,” Damon stopped in his tracks. You started to sink from the slushy mud beneath your boots. Damon’s cigarette smoke blew out of his mouth. “You know, we don’t know much about you. Ramsay told us all he could. Your last name. What you did for a living, but I don’t think he knows everything about you. Just like you don’t know everything about him.”

“What are you trying to say?” you asked. Your grip on Bacon’s leash grew tighter.

“I think you’re hiding something,” Damon said point blank. “Something you don’t want Ramsay to know.”

“That’s stupid,” you reacted, walking away from Damon. Eggs followed you on her own accord. Damon called out to you from behind.

“I didn’t mean it like that! Come on!” He started to rush after you. “It’s the truth ok? No one here knows that much about you. Can you blame us for being distrustful?” You ended back up in your room again. The top floor had views you could look out to, but not much was there. Just dirty forest with muddy forest grounds. All of the leaves had fallen to leave their trees bare and begging for some kind of beauty.

You continued to look out, but your mind left. It travelled to the past when you were a child. A tenth birthday cake was laid right in front of you. Candles were lit as your friends and family sang a big ol’ happy birthday to you song. You laughed at all of the happy company you had.

There was your grandmother who had gifted you a beautiful porcelain doll that year. There was your Uncle who took pictures of you and the cake on his expensive camera. Your best friends Lilly and Rebecca were there. Each of them wore matching party hats just like you.

It wasn’t until you looked to the right of you. You wished you didn’t see it.

“We need to talk,” Ramsay snapped you out of the memory. The door slammed behind him. He may have jarred you out of your head, but you didn’t give him the courtesy of even looking at him.

“What do you want?” you asked.

“You don’t get to ask me ‘what do you want’.”

“And you wonder why I don’t share things with you,” you snapped. “Do all the Red Kings mistrust me?”

“Where the fuck did that come from?”

“Damon told me. No one here knows anything about me. Is that why people are scared of me?”

“That’s not what we’re talking about.”

“Then what are we talking about?” you yelled at Ramsay. You took a look at his eyes. Redness surrounded them as if he had been crying. Yet, he stood there before you as angry as ever.

“What happened?” Ramsay asked. You sat down on the bed.

“Ramsay, you wouldn’t understand—

“Yeah? Try me.”

An uncomfortable silence took over the room like a fog. It floated and settled in between you both as if you both had ghosts haunting and following you. Maybe Charlotte was right about this relationship. If you let this keep going, it could be the end of you.

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miusiu · 5 years

Text

my got 8x03 thoughts here so i don’t spam twit again.....

Things i liked about this ep:

- Sansa (as always) -- “I’m not abandoning my people”, her being a witty queen whilst telling tyrion his witty comments wouldn’t be helpful in the battle above, her leaving her place of relative safety, having to battle with her terror to go and defend her people, even if it was futile and just buying them a few minutes (cue sobbing)

- sansa doing all that in front of dany’s Advisory Team, varys specifically, and letting them see that on top of all the practical planning for war and for her people, she’s genuinely here every step of the way to defend the north and anyone in it

- arya. every goddamn scene of her

- all of arya’s s1 callbacks, not today to the god of death and then running of to destroy the walking embodiment of death.... who else could ever!!!!!!! and her passing on the true stark knowledge of stick em with the pointy end

- arya’s video game stealth mission in the library... we love the last of us

- on that note, arya and sansa working together and trusting each other in every moment of their season 7 and 8 lives yas queens

- arya and the hound best surrogate father/daughtership, and that including sandor working thru his fire thing for her

- mel being a badass with all her fire magicksz and the #tension she always brings to any scene she’s in...

- mel getting that lovely peaceful end, on her own terms, after fighting and winning a battle for all humanity

- the dragonriders being almost totally useless, dragonfire being useless against Mx Night King... u can’t have all that power and just have everything go ur way

- beric’s T pose as he got stabbed to death... we love you jesus

- lyanna mormont being the absolute legend that she is and always will be she is living and well and she’s going to continue house mormont’s name :)

- dani truly did nothing i have to laugh...

- grey worm surviving bc we WILL get that GW/missandei honeymoon in naath so help me god

- jorah completing his journey and dying in time for dani to lose any kind of moral compass that she had if she ever listened to him

- i just realised when the hound/mel leave the room they’d been in with arya.... they just had to kill wight!beric... it hurts........

- the fact that they had barely a chance to speak bc the dialogue from these writers is so extremely hit and miss lmao

- jon being a dumbass as usual and trying to fight the NK one on one without considering the field of corpses he’s running into... also the plot hole of dragonfire not burning said corpses before that. yes i liked it

- drogon just ollying outtie from dani once again... loyal son

- the night king being a bad bitch at hand to hand combat bc he’s like 8000 years old

we know for sure there’s gonna be a dance of dragons 2.0 because all that sfx money is being put into another, better-lit, sequence of dragons fighting mid-air and not ghost

things i didn’t like:

- killing lyanna............ a tween gal with the world at her toiny feet..... and in such a violent way lol it was jsutksljflsdf like they can make her badass without putting the viewer thru watching a child get brutalised

- how only two characters you could truly class as Main characters died.... the no-stakes battle of LIFE AND DEATH isn’t rly being sold to us as viewers when u only see brienne/jaime/tormund/gendry fighting in the courtyard of winterfel like.... it’s beyond the wall 2.0 and this time the other half of old married couple beric and thoros died

- they reanimate the fuckin dead in winterfell and we don’t get a single #memory come back to undead life from the crypts? not explicitly? u don’t have to retraumatise the characters but put SOME stakes in, emotional or physical, please....

- the crypts were never gonna be safe, but the amount of times it was emphasised how safe it was in 8x02... really they didn’t do anything with those scenes, they didn’t have the shireen stand-in come to the forefront....

- also they coulda focused on sansa actually fighting the wights but ok... it’s like all of her scenes in this were 90% complete without real payoff and i just have to infer it, being a sansa stan 4 lyf

- dani’s two foreign armies, being moc, just uhhhh being brought over to die..... en masse.... just one single named character that gets to magically survive against all odds

- ik that theon was supposed to be best at archery but the fact that he just magically was the last ironborn defender around bran to go......im glad he got his redemption n shit but omg i once again must laugh

- genuinely couldn’t tell u if rhaegal is alive but seeing as every other main character is here i’m sure he’s fine

- the reawightening, the second round of troops of the dead, was all nice and dramatic but did they really not have a strategy for this? reallly? after hardhome?

- i feel like edd’s death was death number 40029 where sam Isn’t Moving and someone Needs to Save him and they Die Because Of It and i’m not about this... man’s killed a white walker let him live without guilt for three seconds

-jon just avoiding the dead dragon fire by the skin of his teeth fifty times... a good diversion from miss arya’s mad dash across winterfell but omg was ex-king in the north rly gonna FIGHT A WIGHT DRAGON WITH NOWT BUT A VALYRIAN STEEL SWORDDDDD

tldr

arya is that bitch. im happy for mel, witch queen

#gots8 spoilers #blesase talk to me about this it's all i think about x

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badcowboy69 · 6 years

Note

For the headcanon prompt thingy, do the whole alphabet, A-Z!

Oh gosh you curious anon you :D Well ok then here ya go! Hope you read this all and appreciate this lol

A-Arousal- what gets them aroused quickest Travis loves his hair being touched or even having fingers sifting through his goatee. Once he starts submitting all it takes is for a gentle brushing of lips against his neck and around his ear to totally do him in.

B- Broken- what it takes to break them Knowing he was betrayed, used, or lied to by someone he trusts. Trust doesn’t come too easily for him and if Travis gives it only to have it abused really messes him up.

C- Can’t- one thing that they can’t do in life/refuse to do Harm an innocent in any way. That includes stealing from someone, making a person cry on purpose, or kill/harm an animal for the hell of it.

D- Denial- something they’re in denial about Travis doesn’t like to admit it bothers him that his memories about his family and life before he got shot in the head are forever gone. He’ll tell you he’s fine with it and fine making new memories, but deep down it does hurt him deeply.

E- Eager- something they are eager to do in life He so badly wants to travel down the Long 15 and see the big waters of the west coast (the ocean). He’s heard about it a lot and is anxious to head there and see it for himself.

F- Fitness- how often they work out and what they prefer doing for a workout Travis tries to work out a little every day by either walking or going for a quick swim. He does lift small weights from time to time as well. He likes to stay toned and fit, but doesn’t want to become a big muscle bound man. Sex is also a good workout plan he tries and indulge in as much as possible as it works on keeping his heart rate up and helps him remain flexible.

G- Guarded- something they always guard (item can physical or mental like their feelings) Travis tends to guard how he’s really feeling when hit with one of his self-conscious bouts. He would much rather say he’s doing fine than to admit what’s wrong or what’s bothering him. He’s not so good at hiding that as he thinks, but more often than not he simply tries to avoid the situation and make sure those around him are happy and not focus on his issues.

H- Hell- what will make their life hell Being without Riley.

I- Ingenuity- how clever they can be in tough situations Although he plays dumb a lot of times, Travis is really quite smart and creative. Not only can he bullshit his way out of almost any circumstance, but he can also be very calculating. He figures the easiest way to get something done and most of the time it works either verbal or physical and of course nothing can beat a well placed explosive in a lot of situations.

J- Jealous- how easily they get jealous Not very. Travis isn’t one to get jealous, especially over material things. For him it’s a wasted emotion.

K- Killer- how old they were when they first killed someone 24. Believe it or not up until the point when he was shot in the head, Travis really never faced a situation that would be necessary to kill someone. It was kind of a rude wake up call for him, but yet it didn’t bother him too much as when you’re defending yourself or someone you do what you have to do.

L- Lust- what they lust after in life Only his partner, Riley.

M- Maturity- how mature they are as an adult For the most part Travis can be mature. However he’s extremely playful and finds joy in just about everything. He loves to play and loves to pull pranks. He still giggles over fart noises from living beings or inanimate objects. Pretty much he’s just a big kid, but knows when he has to let the adult stuff happen like when he has to take care of city business or negotiations.

N- Negligence- what they can be negligent about Mostly household tasks such as washing dishes, putting laundry away or even properly taking care of his weapons. He even has a tendency to leave things in his pants pockets that he tosses in the laundry. If those things were simply caps it wouldn’t be a big deal, but his wallet has been found numerous times as well as a few grenades.

O- Opinionated- one thing they are very opinionated about How humans treat any Super Mutants, Nightkin, or non-feral ghouls. Travis doesn’t understand why people have to be so hateful or violent to these beings. Yes, there are some bad ones, but there are some bad humans as well.

P- Persistent- how persistent can they be about something Sometimes once he gets his mind set on something, Travis can be a total pain in the ass about it. He will oblige when told to settle down or knock it off, but he can’t help but squirm over it and drop little comments here and there.

Q- Quest- what they feel their quest in life is/their main goal in life Travis would really love to move out of New Vegas and get a ranch of his own. Helping run New Vegas and getting it and the surrounding areas of the Mojave into shape was great, but it wasn’t his life goal. He was forced into it more or less. He longs to have his own place and be in charge of his own things.

R- Regret- what they regret most in life Hooking up intimately with a certain NCR sniper for a few weeks of whatever it was. He wishes he never allowed the more than friend’s situation to happen and wishes he never continued to encourage it.

S- Strength- where they find their strength Most certainly Riley. He helps encourage Travis to keep trying and striving forth with so many things. Even when Travis feels hopeless or scared or simply wants to give up on something positive, Riley’s always there with help and encouragement.

T- Test- something that will test them to their limits Persistent jerks that don’t know how to take ‘no’ as an answer. Too many times he was badgered by the wrong person over something that could have been ended when he said no. The results are almost always the same, the pest eventually gets Travis’ fist in their face.

U- Unbelievable- one thing that they experienced that they still have a hard time believing was real There’s been quite a few, but probably helping out the Boomers at Nellis Air Force Base bring a crashed B-29 to the surface of Lake Mead is one of his more surreal ones. With help of an underwater breathing apparatus and some robots, Travis was able to connect some ballasts to the plane. It was a lot of work not only getting it to the surface, but to the shore then back to the base. Seeing his friends rebuild the plane and get it flying was amazing and even more amazing was when they took him up in it for a ride.

V- Vengeance- have they ever wanted vengeance on someone Of course...I mean he was shot in the head and lived to tell the tale. His focus after recovering was finding the person who did it and dispatch of them. It was his first and hopefully his last time having to deal with the topic of vengeance.

W- Waiting- how good they are at waiting on something/someone Although Travis may have a lot of patience with people, his self-conscious issues take over when it comes to waiting for someone. He’ll wait forever, but the longer things take the more his mind torments him that maybe the person isn’t showing up because they found something better to do or someone better to hang around with. In the other department he’s got zero patience. He’s like a big kid when he knows about an outing or a surprise that forces him to wait until things are either ready or arrive.

X- xenodocheionology (the love of hotels according to some) since they do some traveling, what their favorite hotel was So far he really liked the little area of Novac and the room he has there. It’s a quaint little town with friendly people. Once the battle over Hoover Dam was over, Travis dumped a lot of funding to that town to help them rebuild and thrive.

Y- Yield- one thing that will make them stop what they’re doing no matter what The mention of food. Travis loves to eat. I was going to say “sex” but that is only an option for one person to offer. Food, however, anyone can offer.

Z- Zoo- how old they were when they first went to a zoo and what their favorite animal was. Zoos don’t exist in the wasteland as far as I know, but he does enjoy reading about them a pre-war book he has up in his penthouse. He would have liked going to a zoo and his most favorite animal there would certainly be an elephant.

#abouttravis #Anonymous

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angocanhha · 3 years

Text

i got an hour

before the body is a landscape class, i wonder what the class is going to be like. i feel like i should look for a private spot, maybe the octopus bedroom :)

i guess this post is for u, for myself, for yourself

but before i dive into that, thanks for being a good friend chi. i appreciate the care and kindness you’ve shared with me during this particularly chaotic and confusing time. what a time indeed. i wish i had approached this time with more care but of course, hindsight is always 20/20 whereas the present is in a lightless room.

you keep checking your phone to see if anyone has texted u. keep checking, keep turning over. it’s been cool not getting notifications but now instead, u check your phone when you’re looking for that brain rush. at first u weren’t getting distracted but now you’re used to it, and now u can see when you’re having a hard time bc that’s when i’m checking my phone.

all i need for happiness, is already in me. all i need for happiness is already in me.

i like talking to you. when i take this moment, it’s as if i’m aware i’m living. i’m aware what color the walls are, that there are walls, that i’m inside a house, and there is a lovely garden outside. i know that my parents are chaos. they are chaos. and i’d like to take some time to process who they are. who are they?

i get on edge when i hear my dad move throughout the house. i learned from him to be quiet, especially during the morning hours. he’s intentional about that. he speaks in hushed tones and calls other people to also lower the volume in consideration of those sleeping. maybe this is the treatment he appreciates when he is sleeping. but now, maybe when i can hear him move throughout the house, sometimes it’s because he’s not afraid of disturbing others but it’s also his way to announce that he is upset. and that is why i get on edge when i hear him put away the dishes, shut the cabinet and drawers. something is on his mind, he is angry. i don’t do very well w angry ppl. they are scary. my dad throws things. there is a scar in the door when he hammered it at my sister. it’s amazing how my sister and i can just move on from that. it’s amazing that this scar has not been erased from the body of this house. my dad is a generous man, he cooks, he cleans, he communicates, he makes jokes, he sits on the toilet to pee and doesn’t leave the seat up. he is also condescending, but he can be patient. he cares but he also shouts and has been violent in his past. i am thankful that i have not seen him throw anything recently, i have not seen him getting angry. but i feel that distance, it’s like i’m angry at him, i can’t look him in the eyes, it’s hard for me to share my warm smiles with him. this time will pass. when u talk about your dad, chi, it reminds me of the times when i would give him the silent treatment, i think this was in high school, although i’d have to give more time to see if this was post college as well. tangent? eh, maybe later. i didn’t want to talk to him. and i didn’t have to. but i did if i needed to, but other than that i wouldn’t. i guess it wasn’t enough for my parents to kick me out of the house, maybe they knew i would come around. - he just came in, speak of the devil.

my sister and dad gang up on my mom it seems. when i’m not around, i think it’s hard for her. but i also see that my sister gets into arguments w my mom bc belinda is trying to defend me or speak on behalf. i think, belinda doesn’t need to do that, she can just let it slide, like it do, then they wouldn’t get so angry with each other. but they do. my mom thinks belinda can be disrespectful. i said to belinda that my dad is condescending to our mom and belinda says my mom is also disrespectful of others. i guess belinda’s right, my mom called me fat, that i should lose weight and i pounced on that. sometimes i use it as an excuse not to eat dinner with my mom and my dad. i tell mom matter of factly that i’m missing out on the family dinner she wants so much bc she hurt me, and this is my way of hurting her. i want her to take her words back. having some distance from the original comments, it’s been a couple of weeks, i can see how she was trying to help me. yes, there have been things going on in my life where i have abused food and my body. i just put on the jacket that makes look like a teddy bear. i feel like a teddy bear, i’ve worn this jacket many times but for some reason, i’m really getting the teddy bear vibes rn.

am i on a protest, the do nothing for my life and prove that i’m worth living protest? what an interesting social experiment. zach calls me ngoc anna, and i think it’s brilliant, also awesome.

my mother. i get the sense of righteousness from her. the want to be healthy (creatively) and imposing these senses of health on other people. she does that. my dad has a sense of health, but not to the level of my mom, i don’t think he imposes that much either. she gets worked up, or at least she did, about his smoking. she indoctrinated my sister and i and now we do that work for her. she still gets into it sometimes. she gets into how my dad should take care of his physical health, not handle heavy things like furniture. she is a boss. i know what she wants bc she makes it known. she’s vocal. she’s very vocal about how ppl should live their life. belinda is living the life that my mom wants her to i guess. belinda’s making money and i guess that’s all my mom cares about at the moment. she was worried about belinda when she was seeing multiple people and also didn’t like when belinda was rock climbing (i’m so angry at the guy who dropped belinda, if i ever see him, i think i might stalk him... or maybe say something to him.) but belinda is not doing those things now. but she doesn’t like how i’m living. she doesn’t like that i’m pursuing film. she doesn’t like that i don’t have a steady stream of income. she makes it known. there is hardly a conversation with her that she doesn’t bring it up. my mom is vocal.

i wish i didn’t have to hide. my mom says that she’s ok with my queerness and that i don’t have to hide, but at 2021, if i can’t openly disclose my queerness to her acquaintances, that’s hiding to me. it’s sad for me to hide, it’s sad for me to feel embarrassed for my parents. to know that in order to alleviate their suffering, i would have to take myself out of the picture. i’m sad that it’s not me and my parents as a team, it’s me against them and their contacts. it’s sad, i wonder why my mom didn’t want me to pick her up in front of her workplace a couple of weeks ago. i summed it up to me having very short bleached and dyed hair. it shows me, and i already knew, what my mom thinks of people who look like me. i remember their discomfort when i brought them to the qtviet cafe show. my parents weren’t ready. it was a learning experience to see the community that i’ve grown with through their eyes. it’s like we were aliens, that we had a terrible sickness that they didn’t want near them.

my parents don’t feel comfortable in queer spaces. and that’s sad. there is a part of me that they tolerate but don’t love. i think about the times where i accompany my mom to the temple or my dad to his old people vietnamese clubs, i see their world, i meet their friends and peers. i do my best to make them proud that their kid, their daughter is presentable, and loves them, supports them, wants to be there for them. i know it’s not a competition or a comparison, i know that everyone is one their own journey. it’s just, when i take this time to reflect, i am looking at where we are. i’m thankful for the love my parents share for me, i am. i guess that makes me feel better. but i am also hopeful, that by chance, a miracle could happen, and they can love me more, they can grow more than they already have. that future, that world seems glorious, it seems really nice. i can imagine tears coming to my eyes.

i guess nowadays, sometimes i think about giving up. i think about, maybe not only do i not have to fight for queerness, maybe i can choose the straight lifestyle. i know it’s not exactly a choice, but it seems like all the hardships i’ve been through, i can just let go of that. it’s a fun option to peruse around in. i’m not going to do it, i don’t think. i’ve been saying, that the only way i’m going to fall in love w a cis male is if he is more of a feminist than me. and i guess i haven’t been around in those circles enough to meet someone like that. we’ll see if that’s in my destiny, i certainly won’t hold my breath.

i’m getting a little nervous about this class. it’s coming up in about 10 minutes. hopefully i can also hold to the fast today. i didn’t yesterday, so many snacks, so many thoughts of, let me ‘hurt’ myself and eat this. i felt a little hopeless. i was overstimulated. how can the love of my parents be nourishing but also overwhelming? sometimes i am sad when i see their bodies, how much they’ve put themselves through, where they came from, the mindset they have. are they free? are they in pain? i feel like they have more sexist mindsets than me, but am i more free than them? i guess this is the struggle. i’m glad they’re both here though. and as much as i worry and fear, they are alive, they are breathing, and i do believe, they are well.

i love u my dude. i know u worry about other ppl a lot. i know that u spread yourself thin and u don’t even realize. i know we’re working on centering ourselves and just being. we’re trying to reach enlightenment. we are trying to be a rock. we are trying to figure out why the sight of our dad annoys us and to resolve that. i’m proud of u, i love u, i think you’re a revolutionary artist. i think you’re insightful and i think you’re one of the most beautiful people i have ever laid my eyes on. i love u deeply dude, and i think the best thing about that is that we know this to be true forever. we trust each other don’t we, because we are ourselves. fuck the rest, we the best, bb. u can let go, bc i got u, we will take turns taking care of each other. it’s a lot sometimes, but i hope we will prioritize each other. ngoc anh and anna, is it possible to develop and get lost in multiple personalities? would i do it if i was guaranteed to be happy? is there ever a guarantee? let’s take each other’s hand and see the beauty of this world, bc isn’t that what we want life to be? can’t we be our own best option, dream life, forever on cloud nine?

we’re gonna face this class and just flow dude. forget all the worries of others. we’re just gonna be here and we’re gonna have fun.

thanks for dropping by, i’ll see u again soon. and we shall conquer in time. it could be tomorrow (o you’d love that) or it could be in ten years, bottom line, we just gotta love each other. that’s all we gotta do. we’ll be ok babe. we’ll be ok.

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