#and then you spend 4 weeks on this piece and almost give up bc why is the pizzaplex so detailed and why are there so many things everywhere
freddy fazbear’s mega pizzaplex: ultimate speedrun challenge
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lavender latte: iii
(T (for now!))
hawks | takami keigo x reader
ao3
chapter 1 || chapter 2 || chapter 4
word count: 4.2k
a cheeky drink and some mutual sabotage.
warnings: oh no, they say s*x, fluff, pining, the usual, and a wittle angst on the side, reader smokes cigs bc its a salem trademarked fic thing
enjoy folks ;^) the whole of this piece is gonna be about? ten chapters. so. hold on tight!!!
beta read by @keiqos, heart EYES
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“Let that sit for a second or you’ll burn yourself—”
“Don’t need to tell me twice, angel. I know the drill.” Hawks replied with a wink.
You weren’t ever going to get tired of that.
You really expected Hawks to disappear out of your life. You really, truly expected him to run off for good. How many bigger, better, and more important things did he have to do? Even if you managed to speak to him and regard him like any other customer (or, perhaps acquaintance, and more recently, friend — ), your mind swam with insecurities that only seemed to get worse over time.
You were waiting for the metaphorical thread to snap.
You waited for the day Hawks simply would stop texting you flirty bullshit on a somewhat regular basis.
But, holy fuck, the dude didn’t.
You couldn’t think of why. You weren’t complaining about the attention, but you also were terrified of getting too used to it. Hawks was a part... bird (?) right? He was flighty by nature.
Despite this, Hawks continued to not only text you but also stopped by the shop fairly frequently for his special, quirk-fueled beverage fix. Politely, he’d text you the day before he planned to make an appearance to check and see if you were working, and then show up the next day like it was nothing.
He usually wouldn’t stay for long; the hero was ungodly busy and always on the move. But, he always took the time to flirt and get a full description of his drink before dashing out to save the world once more.
Most days he visited were his ‘hero work’ days. He’d appear in his costume, done up and dashing for a sip and a quick talk before disappearing once more into the skies. Every once in a while, Hawks had an ‘office’ day where he’d be confined to his agency to catch up on his insane backlog of paperwork. On these occasions, Hawks would talk (stall) at the tea shop for as long as possible. You talked and joked with him as long as he would let you. Sure, it put you behind on work, but no one at the shop was going to tell you off for fraternizing with the number two hero (whose repeated presence was drawing more customers anyways). You both reveled in each other's attention, drinking in the other’s slowly softening smiles and quick wit.
On this day, Keigo’s wings were the shittiest they had been in a while. Plucked and almost barren with how much he’d been working lately. Total exhaustion seemed like it was constantly on the horizon, tugging as his eyelids and weighing down his chest each morning.
It was easier to get out of bed when he got to think about seeing you.
Sure, your drinks were a perk. Very much so. He was getting so used to the artisan beverages you crafted that the taste of his normal canned coffee was starting to bother him.
But, what his real thrill in visiting the tea shop was that he got to see you, and that made his heart pound.
He sat across from you, looking down into your newest drink. It swirled between dark and milky, a heady, rich aroma billowing up with the steam it produced. He had requested something ‘surprising, new, and horribly caffeinated’ as deep fatigue was the worst villain he’d likely see that day. You had just nodded, cheekily starting to prepare his drink with a bounce in your step, pupils going wide.
“I feel like you’re gonna start running out of ideas one of these days,” Keigo laughed, adjusting himself on his stool, gloves and jacket removed. He almost looked like a normal patron.
You grinned to yourself, idly cleaning around you as you often did, “I dunno, I’ve got a lot.”
Hawks raised an eyebrow, “Tell me about them.”
“Nope, top-secret,” You shook your head, digging into your apron to flash him the small notepad you carried on you.
Scrawled in nasty handwriting, you carried your many ‘feeling’ ideas around with you. Different concepts and abstractions all scribbled down, a nice long list to look back on whenever Hawks would make his appearances and his own vague requests. Your backlog of ideas made it easy to find something more than suitable to make for him.
When Hawks saw your notepad his eyes widened, tilting his head and a devious smirk coming to his lips.
Your expression fell, and you stuffed the papers back into your pocket, hiding your hot face by idly cleaning some more.
You left yourself very open for teasing, it seemed.
(Not that you or Keigo minded.)
“You keep a little list of all of your ideas! I’m beyond flattered,” Hawks ran a hand through his hair, flashing a cocky smile for you.
“I have to stay prepared, can’t be disappointing my celebrity sugar daddy,” You winked as Hawks’s eyes went wide, half-hearing a choke get caught in his throat. (You loved it when you were able to get him visibly flustered. What a treat.) You nodded down to the drink, “Should be good to try now.”
Keigo really liked spending time with you. He knew it was always fleeting and short and consistently he wanted to find reasons to stay with you at the tea shop counter for longer and longer. Your quips and chides continued to get quicker and more clever and he was having an increasingly difficult time keeping his cool around you. Most of the time he smoothed himself easily, not showing a trace other than that which he neurologically couldn’t control.
But sometimes, you were bold enough and ballsy enough to get him to gag on his literal words and he was positive that you were the only person to ever have him break composure in such a way.
He covered his weakened poise by sipping the new drink, mindfully letting the taste wash over his tongue.
Increasingly, you’d been changing up the so-called ‘vibe’ of your beverages. It seemed like each time Keigo dropped in, you had something new and vibrant to show him.
This drink was particularly different.
The taste was rich, dark, and smooth, rolling into the back of his throat and down his spine. It coated his insides with a warm, low heat. Peeking through were sweet, light accents, warm but almost... teasing?
His dick twitched.
Hawks’s mouth dropped open, any and all professional veneers dropped as you just beamed so fucking smugly at him.
“What do you think?” You leaned a bit forward, bouncing on your toes with excitement.
“Is... Is this supposed to taste like sex?” Hawks asked, taking another mouthful to confirm. Based on the way his eyes briefly shut and some of the tension rolled from his shoulders, he thoroughly confirmed it.
“Technically, it’s crafted based on like... a late-night rendezvous. I left it fairly up to interpretation beyond that. The rest is on you.” You shrugged, still bouncing as Hawks took another chug.
“What the fuck, (Y/N),” Pleasant shock colored his features, but clear amusement stretched across his lips as he continued to drink.
“You wanted something surprising and horribly caffeinated. That’s a dark chocolate mocha with two extra shots, our in-house raspberry and rhubarb syrup, a bit of white chocolate syrup, and a few of my add-ins as well. It’s pretty different from what I’ve made you before,” You blinked at him, stomach twisting as his expression remained unguarded. “I... I probably should’ve asked before giving you a drink that definitely could’ve been taken as sex. That’s my bad. I can remake you something else if you’d like?”
Keigo shook himself from his stupor, shaking his head and quickly regaining his composure. He took another sip to emphasize his words, “No, nope. It’s okay. Definitely okay. The drink is really good. I’m just now wondering something.”
“And, what’s that?” You asked, reaching behind the counter to grab your own iced beverage.
“Can your quirk be used to manifest bad feelings and concepts, just like good ones?” Keigo asked. Normally, he’d add more nuance, but he was getting impatient and sloppy around you. He’d have to keep that in check.
Especially with the way your shoulders drew up and tensed. You turned a bit away from him, any and all potential for eye contact torn away.
He hit a nerve.
“The type of abstract feeling doesn’t matter, I can emulate it,” You replied, pulling at your nails. Keigo had long picked up that it was one of your habits when your anxiety spiked.
He dropped it, but didn’t forget. There were public files on quirks. Maybe he’d look into it. Maybe. It felt a bit invasive, but considering plenty of that data was freely accessible, it hardly was an invasion of privacy, right?
(Except for the fact that it obviously made you very uncomfortable to discuss the more unsavory potentials of your quirk.)
(He just wouldn’t tell you.)
Keigo switched topics, easily rolling away from the topic, “Any particular... event that inspired this one?”
You pressed your hands into the counter, leaning over it to glare at him, “Are you referring to something with that comment, Hawks?”
He shuddered when you said his name, but you don’t notice.
“Maybe I am, maybe I’m not,” Keigo shrugged easily, going for another sip.
The drink was inspired by the several day cinematic, wine-bender you went on a week or two prior. An entire weekend with just you, your cats, three entire bottles of wine, and a backlog of movies to catch up on. You tried to consume lots of different types of media, but what had been catching your eye lately had been anything with gushy romance for fairly obvious reasons.
(There was an embarrassing amount of ideas for drinks that were a bit too romantic to properly indulge with your quirk. You’d never tested the limits of how certain feelings could manifest, and you weren’t quite ready to face the reality where you could make people nut from caffeinated milk.)
“It is good though, the drink,” Hawks smacked his lips together as if it would make his coming analysis more credible. “It definitely does taste like sex, but more so complicated. Darker.”
“Deeper.” You smiled. “Your palette is getting more refined. I’m proud.”
“Are you saying it was bad to begin with?” Hawks pouted, flashing you falsely weepy eyes and a puffed out lip.
You rolled your eyes, “Yes, you yourself have admitted this. You drink canned coffee still, so I can’t even call your taste good.”
Hawks gasped, putting a hand to his chest, “I’m hurt, truly wounded.”
“I’m sure you are, tailfeathers.”
“I really thought I had reliably moved up to ‘birdboy’, angel.”
You snorted, covering your mouth with your hand, “Just goes to show how quickly the tables turn, tailfeathers.”
Hawks’s pager suddenly chimed, a familiar sign. He took a quick look at it and sighed, moving to re-robe. You were surprised by the speed at which he did so, and the way he became tense so quickly.
It made you realize that he was always tense.
(Unless he was talking to you.)
“I thought today was an office day?” You asked, a bit of a disappointment clouding your voice.
Hawks just gave a small smile, fully plastering back on his heroic facade, “Duty calls. Lots happening lately.”
He flicked his visor back over his eyes, slid you your normalized wad of cash, and whisked himself out the door, immediately taking to the skies from the streets.
He’s in a bit of a hurry.
He... didn’t even say goodbye.
Wonder what’s happening?
Truthfully, Keigo was a bit startled by the notice on his pager. The whole reason he’d started patrolling the particular neighborhood the tea shop was in was because there was word of a villain syndicate working nearby. It hardly seemed right for the neighborhood, but Keigo knew that villains hid anywhere. Whatever they were planning was still relatively shrouded, but it was clear that it needed to be treated delicately. That particular neighborhood was rife with pedestrians, businesses, and homes and any sort of villainous activity had the possibility of reaping a heavy amount of collateral damage. Keigo and the Commission had been on their guards about it, but things had been steadily becoming more intense over the past few weeks.
Plopping himself on a rooftop, Keigo took up residence to stake out his newest lead, watching figures and silhouettes in a nearby office building.
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Funnily enough, the rest of your week went horribly. Just downright shitty. You figured at some point, things would let up, brighten, but they didn’t. Each day brought some new, personal calamity.
The first was a trip to the emergency vet with one of your cats after she swallowed a hair tie. An expensive vet bill later, she was perfectly healthy, but you remained wracked with anxiety.
Another day, the owner of the tea shop paid a visit to chew you out for your newest tea blends not fulfilling his picky seasonal requests. You were relieved it had nothing to do with how Hawks monopolized your time. Still, getting yelled at easily within earshot of both coworkers and customers made your insides twists.
The final small disaster was when a particularly asshole-ish customer chucked a hot drink all over you and your cute white sweater. One of the younger openers had been dealing with a difficult patron and an incorrect order, nothing out of the ordinary. When you tried to step in and de-escalate the situation, the man ripped the lid from his cup and splashed you with the burning liquid. You held back any sounds of pain even as your skin stung like hell when you offered to remake his drink.
One of your managers luckily allowed you to go home early. Thank god.
By the end of your shitty week, you fell into your apartment and just cried. White sweater stained and day feeling fairly ruined, you let yourself have a good, solid sobbing session to just release how terrible things had been.
It would pass, you knew. But it sucked at the moment.
It also didn’t help that Hawks had been particularly absent after running out the last time he came around. He’d still managed to shoot you a funny text or two, but mostly, it was silence from him. You rationalized it by reminding yourself of how quickly he flew off at the end of his last visit, hero business forever more pertinent than you and the shop.
You reminded yourself to keep yourself grounded in Hawks obvious impermanence, even if you were starting to get used to (and really like) having the hero around.
You decided that your Friday evening would be good. You treated yourself to a hot shower, noting with a hiss the pink scalded skin that covered your chest from your collar bones to just below your breasts. You threw on a facemask and uncorked a bottle of wine you had been saving for a rainy day.
You clicked on one of your favorite shows, an older cartoon that brought you consistent comfort in times like those. Curled up with a knit throw blanket and your healthy cats, it did help soothe the burns, mental and physical.
That is until you got a bit too drunk on red wine and it turned into sad drunk.
So, you made your way to the roof.
You weren’t fucked up beyond belief, despite the fact that you were towing an open bottle of red in one hand and a pack of cigarettes in the left. The cold would sober you up, along with the nicotine. You hoped it would force you out of your head.
Upon throwing open the door to your apartment complex’s rooftop, you were made very aware of its wintertime disuse. The gardens that grew during the summer were snowcovered. The chairs and tables for lounging were in a similar state. You didn’t mind.
The view was still nice.
You set down your bottle and zipped up your coat. Quickly, you brushed off the flurries from a rickety lawn chair and plopped yourself down. You threw on some music from your phone, playing some sweet, old songs that made your chest ache when you needed it to.
The city stretched in front of you, beyond the rooftop. You didn’t live in a particularly wealthy district, but there was no shortage of dazzling neon and bright street lights dotting the ground below. You watched how the rest of the city stretched far beyond your little pocket, still gleaming with multi-hued lighting and dazzling in the wash of the crescent moon.
You took a swig, fishing for your self-dubbed ‘sad cigarettes’ and lit up. With your exhale, you watched as smoke lazily swirled away, carried by the soft winter wind. If you were any less drunk, you’d be freezing.
A shadow, winged, fell across the snow.
“You know, I get nervous when I see pretty girls on rooftops with bottles in their hands,” You jumped at the voice, whipping your head to the source.
Hawks stood, scarlet wings fanned outwards, on the lip of the rooftop.
Your eyes widened.
You took another sip.
He gave an affectionate laugh, jumping down into the area where you were seated.
Keigo had just been out on his normal, nightly patrol. The leak had been correct and he’d been stealthily tracking the villains while completing the rest of his hero duties. He was able to laugh off his exhaustion, but it was starting to eat him. Several cans of coffee a day was hardly doing it for him. He hid his sleepiness and aches well, but that didn’t mean it wasn’t difficult. All the same, his typical roles had to be fulfilled.
He was surprised to see you, all alone on a rooftop with a lit cigarette between your fingers. Keigo let himself be surprised before noting that ‘ yes, you definitely probably live in this apartment building and you’re just outside to smoke’, but the sudden jolt of panic he felt was crushingly unbearable.
Mostly because it was personally protective and not heroically instinctual and he couldn’t start acknowledging that aspect of his feelings for you. Not yet.
Keigo walked towards you, asking, watching you blink blearily at him “You doing alright?”
Eyes downcast, you shrugged, “We all feel shitty sometimes. Just depends on how you cope, ‘ya know?”
“And how do you cope, (Y/N)?” Keigo asked, pausing before brushing off a chair. “Mind if I join you for a bit? I could use a second to rest my wings.”
You nodded, almost offering him the bottle, but quickly pulling it back to your chest before taking another inhale. Offering a pro hero alcohol while he was pretty obviously working seemed like a bad move, even in your tipsy state.
“Most of the time, I watch nice stuff and distract myself, like most people, ya’ know?” You exhaled as you smoked, relishing the nicotine buzz. “Sometimes, though, I just feel extra shitty and need to extra cope.”
Hawks hummed in agreement, sitting back in the chair. His wings were folded up and over its back, the longest feathers trailing in the small snowdrift behind him.
“Do you get cold, being in the sky all the time?” You asked, eyes going cloudy as you stared up at the lights of the city and higher into the sky.
“Most of the time,” Hawks chuckled, throwing his arms behind his head, “I’ve told you this, angel. It was one of our first conversations.”
Your eyes widened at the realization, mouth open with a hearty laugh.
It made Keigo’s eyes water a little. He blamed it on the wind.
“I’m silly, I can’t believe I forgot,” You nestled back into your chair, tracing the lines between constellations. “It’s the whole reason you came to the teashop in the first place.”
Your voice resonated, focus foggy. Somewhere else, old memories played in your mind, recounting your first few meetings with Hawks.
A warm, small smile stretched across your face as you traced the stars.
Keigo watched, enraptured. You were cute, especially like this. All bundled up in your winter coat, half-zipped. There was a lot less stress in your shoulders than he normally saw at the shop, especially as your thoughts were so far away.
He wanted nothing more than to commit the contours and shadows of your face in the white moonlight to memory, never forgotten in the blissful cold.
You interrupted his thoughts so beautifully.
“Thanks for talking to me.” You took a sip from your bottle just after speaking, half-drowning your words, but Keigo caught each one. “I appreciate you.”
“P-pardon?” Keigo couldn’t tell if you caught his stutter, but even if you did, you didn’t show it. The comment felt like a jab to his jaw, half-knocking the wind of him and turning him into a filthy masochist. He’d take any whiplash if it meant you saying such kindnesses to him.
How could you just say shit like that?
What exactly did you mean by that?
Why did your attention make his legs tremble?
You turned your attention from the night sky to Hawks, something like uncertainty bubbling in your chest, “I appreciate you, ya’ know? Coming by the tea shop still, teasing each other and shit, you humoring me—”
Hawks interrupted you, feathers tensing at his back.
“I’m not humoring you.” Hawks deadpanned, staring at you oddly seriously. The yolks of his eyes seemed even more intense in the neon and night light.
“You’re... not?”
There was utter disbelief in your voice, accented by the way your jaw was half-opened.
Hawks shook his head, standing in emphasis, feathers fluttering as he did, “ No, angel. Not at all. I visit because...”
I like you.
“Because I like your drinks.”
Because you make me feel good in a way I’ve never felt.
“You’re fun to talk to, too. Added perk.”
Because I want to hear your voice when I breathe and when I die.
“I enjoy it, you know? You're fun.”
Some feeling in your chest, something full of hope, crushed itself and compacted to the point of pain. You sniffled at his admission, blaming it on the cold. In a fucked up, sad way, part of you was so relieved.
He likes the shop. He likes your drinks.
He’s around because he wants to be.
But not because you’re special to him.
His words reminded you of your insignificance in Hawks’s life. No matter how much you craved his attention and words, and more recently found yourself staring at the plumpness of his lips and the curve of his cupids bow and daydreaming about how much you wanted to lean over the tea shop's counter and kiss the constant, teasing smile off his face—
But.
You don’t matter that much to him.
Sure, he likes you, but he’ll never feel the same way about you.
You made the decision then to make the most out of Hawk’s affections and sweet words. You’d take what you could get, even if it was fleeting and probably eventually heartbreaking. It seemed smart, to refuse to get your hopes up for someone so unattainable.
You let out a shaking sigh, “Thank you, Hawks. I appreciate you coming around. You really light up my day.”
Keigo saw the fall of your face and bottled himself up. Shoved down everything. Fuck his feeling, fuck how he felt about you, this was all fucking terrifying. It was getting to be too much and he had to try and control himself.
Just like he’d been taught so well.
He was just so happy to be around you. He could squash his feelings, even if they were fairly obviously somewhat mutual. God knows that he didn’t know how to handle anything like that.
On the gods, his pager beeped.
“Duty calls?” You said, standing up yourself and brushing off the stray snowflakes.
“Seems so.” Hawks sighed, nodding, “Thanks for letting me rest here. It was good to see you, (Y/N). I’ll see you soon, okay?”
You waved goodbye as Hawks disappeared as quickly as he came, launching himself from the roof with the heavy sound of wing beats.
Soaring away, Keigo risked a final look at you. He swore he saw tears in your eyes.
He forcibly repressed his feelings, reminding himself that your company, words, and quirk-made beverages were more than enough. The flutter in his chest when he thought of you wouldn’t rest, but he could learn to ignore it.
On the roof of your apartment, you felt fatigue in your bones and wetness on your cheeks. You ignored both in favor of smoking another cigarette, soft, melancholy music being your only constant, reliable companion.
You reminded yourself that he, Hawks, was a temporary fixture, more flighty than most and liked you just enough and for surface-level reasons. You could take that. You’d do anything to be around him more, even if it never amounted to anything.
You, just as Keigo did, pressed down any larger feelings.
(The thing about feelings, though, that neither of you was very good at remembering, was that they don’t go away. Sure, you can let them go, but that takes time or a practiced mind!)
(When you take feelings, big, aching, soaking feelings and shove them down into the deepest parts of you, they just tend to make you bleed. The ‘hidden’ feelings color your blood as it spills, even if you don’t notice when it falls and its change in hue.)
(One can only hope that both Keigo and you listened instead of lied.)
Both of your hearts ached, and neither of you fully understood why.
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forever stuck in our youth- ch 1
summary: A CUTE LIL FIC ABOUT A SUMMER CAMP CLOSING AND A WEEKEND GETAWAY, A SLOW BURN FIC
pairing: platonic obx cast x y/n, eventual drew starkey x reader
word count: 1.7k
a/n: so i didn’t want to write about (redacted) being rudy’s gf since i know like 3/4′s of the fandom is not a fan of her so i made up an oc and yes.... she’s me. i also gave jd a gf too, just go with it bc he deserves just as much love. also i have no idea if madison used to work at a summer camp, pls don’t question it
When Madison walks into the hair and makeup department of set one morning, you can immediately tell she’s upset.
“What’s up, buttercup?” you ask as she sits down in her usual chair. She lets out a long sigh and you frown as you take her hair out of the top knot sitting on top of her head, wondering what’s got her in such a bad mood.
“I just found out the summer camp I used to work at is closing down,” she rests her cheek on her palm and pouts. “I know it’s silly to be upset about it but I really loved it there, it was a big part of my life. Kinda felt like a place I grew up is just getting torn down.”
“It’s not silly,” you reassure her quickly, giving her shoulder a quick squeeze in attempt to comfort her. “I loved summer camp, I can see why you’re so upset.”
“I just wish I could at least go say goodbye to it,” Madison sighs again before looking down at her hands. You’re quiet for a few seconds as you begin to think, the silence filling the trailer uncomfortably.
“Well then, why don’t you?” you ask. She looks up immediately at your reflection in the mirror with her nose scrunched up in confusion.
“What are you talking about?” she asks.
“Filming for this season is almost over, you’ve got a lot of time on your hands. Why don’t you go spend a weekend or something? I’d even go with you! It could be tons of fun!” you smile brightly at her. Madison turns around to look at your face, her eyes bright and full of hope.
“Really? You’d do that?” she asks, her voice about to break. You nod rapidly.
“What’s going on in here?” Madelyn asks as she walks into the trailer, you assume Chase isn’t far behind her.
“Y/N and I are gonna take a trip to the old summer camp I used to work with, you should come!” Madison says, her voice now happy and full of life.
“Is this just a girls trip? Because if so, you know I will be crashing,” Rudy’s voice startles you, you turn around and see him sitting in the back of the trailer and you wonder how long he had been sitting there or how you didn’t notice him before.
“Why don’t we all go?” Madison suggests. “Cline, Chase, JD, Y/N, Mariah, Rudy you could even bring Lily if you wanted.”
“That sounds like so much fun!” Madelyn says as she jumps up and down and claps her hands excitedly.
Rudy smiled at the mention of his girlfriend. “JD will want to bring Tayla too,” he points out.
“That’s totally fine.”
“Great, I’ll be the only single one there,” you let out a laugh, Madison hits you in the stomach lightly with the back of her hand.
“Shut up, it will still be fun,” she assures you and you nod along with her words.
“I know, I can’t wait!”
About a week goes by when suddenly you find yourself packing all your summer essentials in one suitcase and sleeping soundly in a car as you and all your loud friends make your way to what Madison had described as ‘a little piece of my childhood.’ You were excited, really, but watching all the cute couples around you made your heart sink. Sure, you were all happy for them, but you wanted someone to experience a summer romance with you too.
“So I talked to the guy who owns the camp,” Madison explains as she turns around in the front seat to look back at the rest of you. “He said that he left a lot of the old equipment there and that we’re free to use any of it since it’s probably just gonna be donated at the end of the summer anyway.”
“What kind of equipment are we talking about?” Rudy calls from the very back seat.
“Fishing poles, bunk beds, oh and did I mention jet skis?” Madison smiles which causes the whole car to erupt in loud cheers.
“What did you wanna do first, baby?” Mariah asks as she looks over at her girlfriend. Madison reaches over and grabs her hand.
“I think we should settle in first, unpack and get everything ready, then we can go for a good old fashioned swim in the lake. After it gets dark out maybe we could have a bonfire and make s’mores or something?”
“That sounds amazing,” Mariah smiles.
The ride continues on, the sound of all your friends conversations are drowned out by your headphones. Eventually you feel a soft shake of your shoulder and open your eyes only to realize you had fallen asleep on Jonathan’s shoulder.
“Sorry,” you mumble, your cheeks growing an intense shade of red as you took off your headphones.
“No big deal,” JD lifts his shoulders into a shrug. “I just wanted to wake you up since we’re here.” You look out the window and see a bright red cabin sitting under the sun.
You smile and immediately jump out of the car, shielding your eyes from the brightness as you take in your surroundings. It looks just like a cliche summer camp with an arch over the cabin door that says the camp name. You get a feeling you’re on the set of a bad 80′s horror movie.
“So where are we staying?” Chase asks as he pulls suitcases out from the back of the van. You can’t tell if hes being sarcastic or not, considering the bright red double story cabin standing proudly in front of you.
“This is where the counselors would stay,” Madison explains as she gestures to the large building. “And the campers would stay a little farther down. The counselors have a bit more privacy and it’s nicer but technically speaking if you wanna be alone you can stay in the campers cabin.”
“Can we go look at the campers cabins?” you perk up. Madison turns to look at you with her nose scrunched slightly in confusion “As much as I love all of you guys, I don’t really wanna be rooming with only couples and hearing what you guys get up to in the middle of the night.” this causes Rudy to laugh.
“No, you definitely do not,” he agrees as he wraps his arms around his girlfriend whose face you notice is getting significantly pinker. JD lets out a gag.
“Yeah, I can show you the way to those cabins. Are you sure you want to be all alone though? It can get a little scary at night,” Madison asks you, her voice suddenly full of concern. You purse your lips together and nod your head.
“Yeah, I mean how bad can it really be?”
Bad, the answer to that question was.
It turns out unpacking and settling in took much longer than expected and you were all exhausted by the end of it, plus the sun had already gone down so there was no point in trying to go swimming and you were all too tired to start a fire. So you all just decided to call it a night.
And being alone in the campers cabin was definitely not a good idea.
First off, it was freezing at night so you were left to wrap yourself up tightly in your blankets. Secondly, it was so loud. The animals outside decided it would be a good idea to scream outside your window so you were left listening to owls and wolves howl the entire night. However you would have much rather preferred those noises to the ones you were sure were coming from Rudy and Lily’s room.
And lastly, no one talks about how scary it is to be alone at night.
You thought you hadn’t been scared of being alone at night since you were a little kid. Turns out old habits really die hard. You were sure someone was going to burst through the front door and put a bag over your head and drag you off into the night with you kicking in screaming. So naturally this resulted in you having horrible nightmares and a bad nights sleep. But you refused to tell that to your friends when you met up for breakfast in the morning.
“Hey, how did everyone sleep?” Madison greets, holding her cup of coffee with both hands and close to her face in attempts to warm herself up.
“Great!” Rudy announces, his mouth full of his breakfast.
“From the sounds and looks of it, you didn’t get much sleep did you?” you tease him, looking over at Lily who has tired eyes and is in the middle of a yawn. Rudy shrugs.
“What about you, y/n? How was your experience alone out in the campers cabin?” JD perks up, desperate to change the subject.
“From the sounds of it, I think I slept better than all of you guys combined,” you joked even though it was a complete lie. Everyone in the group laughs.
“Are we ready to go swimming?” Chase asks, throwing his napkin down on his plate.
“Aren’t we supposed to wait 30 minutes until after eating to go swimming?” Mariah asks.
“Isn’t that bullshit?” Madelyn rebuttals.
“LAST ONE IN THE WATER IS A ROTTEN EGG!” Rudy calls as he stands up and runs out of the room, JD running quickly after them which causes Tayla and Lily to yell for them.
“None of us are wearing our bathing suits!”
Eventually, everyone did make it down to the water. Rudy ended up beating JD in their mini race which resulted in JD pushing him off the dock which made everyone laugh, even Lily. Everyone else jumped in the water after that and were swimming around for a while before someone spoke up.
“Are we expecting anyone else?” Lily asked.
“No, why?” Madison asked. Lily points to the front of the camp where another car is pulling up. Turns out, this is a campy horror movie which will result in your death.
“Is that-” Chase starts. “No way, he said he couldn’t make it this weekend.”
“Who? What? What are you guys talking about?” you ask as you examine everyones faces and notice it was someone they all recognized. Then, out of the car, wearing swim trunks and a button up, steps out one of your close friends.
“I finished up filming early, now the fun has arrived!” Drew yells, causing you to smile.
Looks like you won’t be the only single one on this trip after all.
-----------------
A/N: AYYYY FIRST CHAPTER IS UP!!!! this fic is based off a cute dream i hate that i told tayla @taylathornton about and she persuaded me to write a fic about it so.... here it is. also i hate the ending to this but whatever.
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I need to know what u think of an AU where JC is the one who dies (sacrificing his life to save WWX) instead of JYL, he’s not as angry with WWX bc JYL is still alive so when he sees his brother about to get murdered he just steps in front of him while JYL and WWX see :) I don’t even know what I want u to do with this? Give me some headcanons? Is it a prompt? Idk I just want u to to see what u make of this (I promise JC is my fav but my mind likes to make me suffer :p)
1
It wasn’t a matter of conscious thought when Jiang Cheng threw himself between that cultivator’s sword and Wei Wuxian’s unguarded back, all his defenses down in the face of Jiang Yanli’s pleading, same as always; it was just instinct. Wei Wuxian was always the troublemaker, the crazy one, and Jiang Cheng always the one being dragged along; he’d long ago learned to spend all his time watching his shixiong’s back, keeping him away from dogs, away from angry shopkeepers, away from any harm. It was instinct, just as it had been the day he’d thrown himself out into the street to distract the Wens, and he’d always justified that instinct because he knew that Wei Wuxian would do the same for him.
Though – he didn’t know that anymore, not after everything that happened recently. Wei Wuxian had made him all the promises in the world, to stand by his side through wind and lightning, and he’d seemed to have no issue abandoning those promises, picking the remnants of the Wen sect over the remnants of the Jiang sect without a moment’s hesitation and not even the courtesy of an explanation.
The Yiling Patriarch was all but a stranger to him, and Jiang Cheng still didn’t understand why.
So it was probably stupid of him to react as if the person being stabbed at was Wei Wuxian, not the Yiling Patriarch – stupid of him to give up his life for someone who didn’t care about him nearly as much as Jiang Cheng cared for him.
But that’s why it wasn’t a thought. It was instinct.
He heard someone scream “Jiang Cheng!” as if their heart were breaking, and he thought for a moment that it was Wei Wuxian again, the one who loved him best. Wei Wuxian, not the Yiling Patriarch, who threw him to the dogs over and over again, put his sect at risk of utter destruction a second time over, just to indulge himself and his bizarre fixation on saving the Wens at the expense of everyone else. Who didn’t care about their duty to their sect, to their parents - who didn’t care about him at all.
Jiang Cheng’s heart hurt. It was probably just the sword that’d just been driven through it, though.
Hands grasped at his clothing, pulling him back; his sister’s face had lost all blood, and Wei Wuxian looked as if his world had ended – he wasn’t sure why. Jiang Yanli had her son to care for, a new life in Lanling that she refused to abandon even if Jin Zixuan was now gone; Wei Wuxian had his Wens, his new cultivation – perhaps it was some little regret, far too late, for the Jiang sect that would now come to grief, leaderless, the end of their family line and the disappointment of their ancestors. Jiang Cheng’s final and most absolute failure.
Jiang Cheng looked at them both, the ones he loved the most and who had left him without a single glance backwards, and found with his last breath that he had nothing to say to them.
He closed his eyes so they wouldn’t have to.
2
The battlefield was full of corpses, and Jiang Yanli didn’t care about a single one of them.
“Do you think he can be brought back, the way Wen Ning was?” she asked, holding the corpse in her arms as if it were still the baby brother she sang songs to as a child, the little crybaby who was so fierce on the outside and so soft on the inside. She had been able to lie to herself with Jin Zixuan’s body – he almost looked as though he were sleeping, head on the pillow beside her own – but Jiang Cheng had never slept well in his life, his brow always furrowed as if he was worrying about something even in his dreams, and the blank peace on his face was so wrong that she couldn’t bear to look at him.
She wasn’t asking Wei Wuxian.
Wei Wuxian had only stopped the massacre when Lan Wangji, of all unlikely people, had bodily tackled him; everyone had always said that the Second Jade was like oil and water with her A-Xian, but he’d unexpectedly taken their side in this battle and was even now letting a barely-conscious Wei Wuxian sob Jiang Cheng’s name into his collar. He looked silently at her, his gaze a quiet reminder that her question was inappropriate – one Ghost General had already been enough to cause all of this tragedy, and certainly no one would ever accept another as a sect leader.
She looked steadily back at him, indicating in return that she didn’t give a damn about the standing of the Jiang sect if it meant she wouldn’t have to bury her baby brother.
Lan Wangji hesitated, looking down at Wei Wuxian. “You cannot stay at Yiling,” he finally said. “After this…”
They’d killed people from virtually every sect; no matter who had sympathized with Wei Wuxian before this or how much they felt he was wronged, they would have no choice but to raise up arms against him.
Jiang Yanli understood. They would be fugitives, condemned by all. She didn’t care. “Will you help us?”
He nodded and stood, Wei Wuxian cradled as gently in his arms as she held Jiang Cheng in hers.
“Will you come with us?” she asked. Anyone who loved her brother enough to defy his sect, to stain his untainted blade with the blood of his own kin, deserved a chance to court him properly, if she hadn’t misunderstood his intentions; she didn’t think she had, not with the expression so clear on his silent face.
“I will help you,” he said, and that wasn’t an answer, wasn’t the one she wanted, but it would have to do for now. “Let us go.”
3
It was Jin Zixuan who figured it out, oddly enough. Perhaps it was because he was an outsider, looking at the situation without affection to blur his eyes.
“You gave him your golden core,” he said, less than a week into his resurrection – Lan Wangji had been very efficient in his help, not only finding a new place to hide Jiang Yanli and the remaining Wens but also returning to Lanling to steal Jin Zixuan’s corpse and little Jin Ling before returning to his own sect at the first sign that Wei Wuxian would awaken from his coma. He hadn’t sent word since that time, whether from regret or other reasons; their only consolation was that there was no news of his death. “That’s why you couldn’t do anything other than demonic cultivation – is that right?”
Wei Wuxian looked at him through blood-red eyes. “Get lost,” he said; the phrase made up the majority of his vocabulary, these days, and because he refused to curse his shijie he mostly ended up not talking to her at all.
“Wen Qing was a famous doctor – she could have figured out a way to do it, and that would explain why you felt so indebted to them,” Jin Zixuan continued. “You never told him because you didn’t want to burden him. But instead you left him without any reason, any explanation: he must have felt that you abandoned him because you didn’t want him.”
“Get lost!”
“You broke his heart,” he said, and looked down at Jiang Cheng’s body – still perfectly preserved, but unmoving. The resurrection spell had already failed three times. “No wonder he doesn’t want to return.”
“I did it for him!” Wei Wuxian screamed, tears of blood dripping down his cheeks. “He didn’t – he wouldn’t – he has to come back!”
Jin Zixuan said nothing.
4
They ended up back in Yunmeng, rather unexpectedly; the new leadership of the Lotus Pier, a distant branch cousin who’d survived the massacre because he’d been night-hunting elsewhere, had all but begged Jiang Yanli to return. Against all odds her reputation had survived the massacre at the Nightless City; the loving wife, sister, and shijie that nearly sacrificed herself to save what lives she could and to banish the dreadful Yiling Patriarch who was never seen again from that day forth – she was very nearly regarded as an incarnation of the goddess of mercy.
She had no idea where that ridiculous notion came from, but it did mean that she could live in Lotus Pier again, with Jin Ling by her side – she’d told Jin Guangshan to name someone else as his heir, or at minimum as regent; the Jiang sect needed her and her son more. It wouldn’t have worked if Jin Zixuan hadn’t snuck into his mother’s room to convince Madam Jin to throw her support behind it; officially he was still in his tomb, since Lan Wangji had been very subtle, but in fact he lived within shouting distance of the Lotus Pier, spending his days playing with his son.
They all did, actually, the whole lot of them resettled into a tiny adjacent water town populated largely by civilians that relied on the Jiang sect for their prosperity. As long as Wei Wuxian never did anything, which he didn’t, the illusion that he was gone for good in a cloud of self-destruction after his terrible massacre could be maintained; no one expected they could possibly be so daring as to simply go home after all of it.
Lan Wangji was in seclusion, they were eventually told; Wei Wuxian hadn’t believed it for one second, smuggling himself into Gusu to check – he’d come back unconscious, slung over Jin Zixuan’s shoulder like a sack of potatoes.
“Struck by the discipline whip,” her husband, the fierce corpse that wasn’t fierce at all, said, and didn’t comment when she instinctively reached out to touch Jiang Cheng’s body, to trace the scar he had; she often spent her days next to the bed that preserved his corpse. “Many times; his body is ruined. It will take years for him to heal – the Lan sect saying he was in seclusion was their way of saving face. Wei Wuxian wants to bring him back to the Lotus Pier to hide him.”
Jiang Yanli rubbed her face, thinking not for the first time that the world would be an easier place if only her two brothers weren’t so stubborn. One who wouldn’t wake up, his spiritual consciousness all in pieces; the other who wouldn’t give up – “The Lan sect wouldn’t accept that.”
“He wasn’t planning on asking. That’s why I knocked him out. Anyway, they’re distracted with the Xue Yang matter now – my father’s still insisting on protecting him, and the Nie sect gets angrier about it by the day; without the Jiang sect, there’s only the Lan to play peacemaker, stop there from being another war.”
Jiang Yanli, who was very nice but also very much not the goddess of mercy, tilted her head to the side; something of her mother was in her eyes. “A war would be a good cover, though, or at least the rumblings of one. If we were going to steal Lan Wangji away from his sect, that is.”
He kissed her forehead. “I’ll sneak into Lanling to talk to my mother, maybe see if I can follow Xue Yang and see what he’s up to. You go talk to the Nie.”
5
Jiang Yanli’s visit to the Unclean Realm turned out to be more fruitful than anyone had expected. The moment she walked into Nie Mingjue’s receiving room, her Jiang sect bell rang so hard that it shattered, which it definitely hadn’t done during the war – they both stared at it wordlessly for a while.
Eventually, he cleared his throat, averting his eyes. “You know my family history,” he offered as an explanation, embarrassment at the public revelation of his problem already turning to anger but suppressed by his strict adherence to etiquette.
“That’s no family history,” she said, bemused, as she crouched down to poke at the pieces. “The silver bell of the Jiang sect can steady focus and calm the mind, and the ones made for the family are the strongest by far; it would only shatter like this in the effort to resist a spiritual poison…how are you feeling now, Sect Leader Nie?”
He considered for a long moment, and his face grew black with rage. “Better. I feel – like my mind has been filled with fog, and a clear breeze has blown it clear.”
She smiled up at him. “Perhaps you should visit Yunmeng.”
He scowled, and she realized he must know about Wei Wuxian’s presence, though she wasn’t sure how; despite that, in the end, after a roaring argument with Nie Huaisang in another room, he agreed to go, even if the idea of staying willfully blind clearly pained him to the core.
Jiang Yanli quietly approved of his decision to put family over principle.
When they put their mind to it, the Nie sect had an underrated talent for saying ‘I don’t know’ to just about everything. Neither brother blinked an eye at the Wen sect remnants that still teetered every time they went on a boat, very clearly not Yunmeng locals; they politely greeted Jin Zixuan as if he’d only been gone a while and not murdered; much to his older brother’s very evident irritation, Nie Huaisang even leapt over to give Wei Wuxian an enthusiastic hug while Nie Mingjue was still talking with Jin Zixuan about what it meant that Jin Guangshan had hidden away the still intact Wen Ning, who Jin Zixuan had found in a hidden part of Koi Tower during his most recent visit and immediately liberated.
“Definitely a case of spiritual poisoning,” Wei Wuxian said after a short examination, and the most reliable doctor they had left in the Jiang sect concurred. “The silver bell can help a little –”
They’d already shattered seven of them, but Nie Mingjue had actually cracked a smile for the first time in months, to hear a sobbingly relieved Nie Huaisang tell it.
“–but it can only help so much; that technique is really only meant for acute cases. And you really need to figure out what was doing the poisoning; there’s no point in curing you if you’re only going to get poisoned again.”
“A matter for a later time,” Nie Mingjue, who clearly had some suspicions that made him look as though he’d been stabbed in the back, said. “Now that we know it’s a poisoning, and my mind is clearer, I can take some action myself – the Nie have plenty of techniques to stabilize the spirit.”
Wei Wuxian’s smile was full of self-hatred, as it always was these days. “I don’t suppose any of those are designed to work on the dead.”
“Actually,” Nie Huaisang said. “Several are. Why do you ask?”
6
Jiang Cheng opened his eyes.
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OMG HAPPY 2OO LUV!! ILYSM, AND YOU DEFINITELY DESERVE MORE!! AS EXPECTED I'M HERE FOR THE MATCHUP EVENT AND I'M SO SORRY FOR BEING LATE KSDJFHSDF
1 | name : amie
2 | pronouns : s/her
3 | preferred gender : doesn't really matter
4 | self-description :
— it's ya clown sho <3 anyway, i'm an ambivert but more inclined towards the introvert side. my MBTI is INFJ and i'm a Gemini. i'd describe myself as someone who's very observant? yea, i guess. i'm awkward and you know it. My favorite color is blue, specifically sapphire, but i love all pastel colors. My fav show is Chicago Medical and all the psychological and crime thrillers out there are my favorite ( silent patient is my #1 though ) I love painting, playing piano and basketball!
— what i look in a partner you ask, uh, someone who can tolerate my silence. there are times when i go quiet for a whole day, i'll barely speak, no interaction nothing. i want someone who'd not exactly 'deal with it' but 'understand it.' also, i want someone who i can talk to without any hesitation. i have a hard time opening up so i don't do it but when i do, i spill almost everything. i might cry, might have anxiety attack, i might even shout. i know it's not very healthy but i want someone who can help me with those. plus someone who i can read with please <3 cheating and not having any respect for personal space would be the major deal breaker for me
5 | gen. aesthetic : my fashion sense starts from sweats and ends in sweats. i'm a big fan of those oversized hoodies and shirts, like something really comfy. however, i do have a collection of formal wears like blazers and dress.
6 | color/s to describe myself : red, actually. if not read then blue. it switchers but red 90% of the times.
7 | fav song/s : literally everything by Chase Atlantic and The Neighborhood. However, my absolute favorites are some of the famous classical pieces like Experience by Ludovico Einaudi and Chopin's Ballade No. 1 Op 23.
8 | fav genre of music : classical music ( Beethoven, Einaudi and Chopin own my heart )
Lol this is very lengthy I'm sorry, btw congrats again!
I looked into MBTI, I looked into zodiacs, I went off of what you said
Here he is, the man, Seijoh’s do-it-all guy
HANAMAKI TAKAHIRO ur new boyfriend
There is not enough content for him, anyway
How You Met
Bear with me here
Think about this
Artist!hanamaki
You love painting? Art club.
Idk if youre actually in any art club but shhh
Anyway, it was probably some sort of community thing full of tons of different age artists (bc you’d have basketball or something after school and he had volleyball)
So like once a week on thursday afternoons everyone gets together and does all sorts of artsy stuff
Everyone listens to lo fi music (or you can bring headphones) and chit chat and just paint for a couple hours
Its in the back section of a library (bc the library near me does stuff like this its awesome) so if you want you can go read a book while you wait for things to dry
One day the person that ran it suggested you talked to the new guy
He was about your age, it was his first day, they didn't know what all he was good at, and tbh they thought you two would look cute together
Just the vibes yk
So you set up your canvas and stuff next to him and introduced yourself
And you guys just vibe to the playlist
He’s REALLY good
Compliments you a lot too
Which is fun because he’s cute so it makes you a little flustered
You find out you guys go to the same school and he’s on the VB team
And says he has a (practice) game that weekend and asks you to come if you can
Which you do
And they win! So its fun!
Matsukawa basically asks you out for him though
He’s heard all about you already
“You don't get it issei! She’s so pretty!! God, she touched my hand and I thought I was gonna die!!!!!” “the enthusiasm is new for you” “shut up asshole” (conversation from the night before)
So he walks up to you after the game and is like “Hey so,,, we’re going out to get some lunch, you wanna come?”
Makki thinks HES flirting with you and is pissed off about it
Until you all sit down for lunch and oh, the only open spot for him is next to you (since when is matsukawa willing to sit between iwaizumi and oikawa??)
He asked you out after art club that week (Mattsun threatened not to give him any more monster for the rest of the month if he didn't get the guts to do it)
General Headcanons
You date hanamaki, you're also dating matsukawa
There’s no separating them (good thing ur MBTIs work together too, especially for strong friendships)
This was literally my first thought
So
Good luck with both these trolls
More on that later
Of course he’s going to be worried if you go radio silent for a while, but he'll understand
There are some days he’s not gonna wanna talk either
He’s really supportive on your bad days of course
Expect a random text in the middle of the evening from him
“Hiya sweetheart, just wanted to remind you that you’re beautiful, I love you, and I hope your day is going well.”
When he’s having a bad day, the same thing is all he needs from you to keep moving
He’s a really honest person. If you want to talk to him, be prepared not to get any sugar coating. If you tell him to shut up because you don’t want advice, he will. But if you expect advice from him, expect brutally honest advice. Subtlety is not his strong suit, so when it comes to advice, he’s going to tell it like it is. He's just trying to help, yknow?
However, he’s pretty good with people, so will know how to comfort you when something is bothering you. Tea and cuddles? Gotcha. Dancing at 11pm because neither of you want to sleep yet? On it. You want him to hold you? Perfect.
He’s not like...the most touchy person? There are some things he’s really indifferent on, and other things he’s stubborn as hell with. Whatever you wanna do, though
His weakness though
⚠️this part is slightly little bit suggestive⚠️
He will randomly walk up to you and pull you against him, give you a really deep kiss, smirk and walk away like nothing happened
Like hands in hair probably almost making out and then just
Walk away
Because that’s how he kisses and it’s breathtaking every time
It’s either little temple kisses or forehead or cheek pecks or something
Or that
And probably leaves you flustered and it’s funny (to him) (and to me if I was there with you) (bc that would be funny)
Hmm I’m thinking
I’m thinking hair dye dates
He needs help doing his hair from time to time Y’know (he doesn’t he just likes spending time with you) and he wants to make it pink again
So he teaches you how to do his hair and even offers to dye yours one day
Either just a strand or the ends or everything, up to you
Imagine having twinning hair dye with makki isn’t that cute
I think it’s cute
I said ur platonically dating mattsun right
Yes you are now
He absolutely adores you and loves how much makki loves you
Probably would have asked you out if makki didn’t but he was really pushing for makki to because he was just all over you in the beginning
He wasn’t overly attached to you romantically so being friends? Perfect. Sounds great
You two get along wonderfully though like you act like siblings once you warm up to each other
Again, very brutally honest person, but a little more awkward so doesn’t know what he’s saying might come off as he’s acting like a dick
He doesn’t try to though and he does really care about you
Flat out told makki if he breaks up with you and breaks your heart he’s gonna kick his ass (makki doesn’t know he had the same (less aggressive) conversation with you)
Tbh all of the VBC at seijoh loves you
Oikawa loves talking to you he thinks you’re great for makki
Gets you in on he and makki and mattsun’s antics
Iwa thinks you’re good too he just doesn’t know you as well
I think that kunimi would like you (he was almost a runner up--)
Kindaichi too
The first years just think you’re cool even if they won’t say it out loud
Seijoh VBC loves you
You got mattsun’s approval
And hanamaki loves you with literally everything in his life
So
You’re pretty set with your strawberry baby huh
Date Night!
SLEEPOVERS
I was waiting for some matchup to come along that gave me sleepover vibes
In a perfect world where you could do sleepovers with your bf because most parents would,,,not let that happen
Imagine…
He shows up at like 7:00 after practice, pizza in hand because he picked up dinner
You two eat, chat about your day, he probably scarfs down half the pie bc it’s after practice ofc he’s hungry
So when you guys are done eating you head up to your room
And make pillow fort
It’s mandatory
Different design every time, but there’s a pillow fort nonetheless
And then when there’s just enough room for the both of you to climb in
You get a blanket and a couple pillows and one of your phones or laptops or whatever and watch a movie and cuddle
When the movie is over you guys break out the face masks
You ever wonder why he has such great skin? It’s thanks to you (or if you don’t have masks, he picks them up on the way home from practice)
But anyway you guys talk shit about people for a while and sit with the masks on (it’s usually him talking about how Oikawa is a bitch as much as he loves him) (or about whatever he and Mattsun were talking about lately)
You both get chances to vent while the masks sit on your face and you just vibe with music (usually that you pick) (he listens to like,,,meme songs and like CORPSE yk)
After masks you guys make/get some snacks and munch on those during another movie but this time you’re in comfy jammies and more relaxed Y’know
Less paying attention to the movie you’ve seen a million times and just vibing in each other’s presence and it’s just really sweet
Fall asleep on his chest
Let him fall asleep on yours
Either way, you’ve got him whipped for you he loves you
Not that he doesn’t already but that’s his favorite thing ever so please just let him do that
Always makes sure to tell you he loves you before you sleep too
If you fall asleep first he takes embarrassing pictures of you with your hair being a mess & you best bet he sends them to mattsun because “she’s so cute omfg” “dude” “dude what” “you’re so fuckin stupid” “?” “Whatever—good luck being whipped just tell me when you need to get a ring, k” “you’re such a jackass” “yeah yeah Gnight”
Zodiac/MBTI
Okay so I’m not doing a big long paragraph for all this BUT from what I understand, Gemini/Aquarius are really compatible, and ENTP and INFJ are known as “perfect matches” sO (I had a really hard time deciding between Atsumu and Makki because they're both ENTP)
Psst Gemini + Leo is compatible and so is INTP + INFJ,,,, so, again, asking you to marry me sho 💍💍
Aesthetic/Vibes
Playlist
Prelude and Fugue No. 1 in C major, BWV 846
Linus and Lucy by Vince Guaraldi Trio (meme song)
Sky Full Of Stars by The Piano Guys
Someone To You by The Piano Guys
Shut Up And Dance - Simply Three
Runners Up
Miya Atsumu, Tsukishima Kei
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another unsolicited relationship advice post:
okay. i know that there’s probably thousands of relationship advice posts on here. but anyway. to my younger followers, if i have any:
if anyone that you’ve just met declares that you’re “girlfriend material” or “boyfriend material” and that you must simply meet their parents NOW! or some other ridiculously short interval (like a week say), instead of, idek, like a month or two into your relationship, know that that is a possible red flag for trying to push the relationship too fast.
i say this as again, bc on some buzzfeed fb post about supposed “nice guys” i commented about my high school stalker/creeper from 2012/2013. who, when i first met him in 2012 at public school, he insisted that after two days of knowing him that i simply “have to meet my (his) mum and my sisters right now! bc you’re girlfriend material and i LOVE you!”
like woah! dude! i’ve known you for a grand total of two fucking days! i absolutely don’t have to meet your family RIGHT NOW (although if i’d ever been stupid enough to actually date my stalker back then, i would’ve had to meet his mum or one of his 4 sisters/all of them at once; at some point anyway…. bc they would’ve had to drive us to dates etc bc neither of us had our Ps (provisional drivers licence here in aus) yet at the time)). because i’m pretty sure the normal window is about 1-2 months? maybe 3-4 months? why the fuck are you so obsessed with the term “girlfriend material”??? what the actual FUCK does that EVEN mean?? get away from me. bc this isn’t love. it’s something else, that i can’t put my finger on.
compare this to clear braces boy from catholic school, who literally took almost 3 years to ask me out; and to even ask for my number. when he’d finally asked for my number right before one set of the winter holidays at the end of term 2/before the start of term 3 in 2010, i was so oblivious as to why he wanted my number…. when he’d never wanted it/asked for it before.
so when he called me, while i was still on the bus home from school, i was panicking like “OH FUCK THATS WHY HE WANTED MY NUMBER!!! HE WANTS TO ASK ME OUT!!!!! FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK!!!!!! WHY THE FUCK AM I SO SLOW AND FUCKING DUMB???!!!” he never pressured me to meet his parents (although at 14/15 it was very obvious that that was a standard practice since we couldn’t drive ourselves anywhere lmao). we were basically on equal footing, except for my slowness with cottoning onto him asking me out and why he asked for my number lol.
CBB had never pressured and harassed me about my virginity. he had NEVER harassed me with porn, most especially while at school, unlike mr creeper who LOVED pulling out his porn filled phone and school laptop to show me his overly violent, degrading and aggressive porn. CBB’s flirting method was showing me norwegian black metal bands (or normal metal bands like parkway drive) and making me watch repeats of family guy on his ipod at lunch bc he loved family guy. he never brought up the term “girlfriend material” ever. he treated me like an actual person. and not his own personal fuck doll, that had holes that were conveniently for sticking his useless and clueless ass teenage dick in, again unlike creeper who was hellbent on wanting to act out his favourite violent etc porn on me to let him “take your virginity in a wonderful weekend of sex down the coast and you have to do all things that I LIKE BC THAT’S THAT AND I SAID SO!!!” 🤮🤮. although if i had progressed further than those few weeks with cbb, and my constant *karen from mean girls voice* *fake cough, fake cough* i’m sick *regina george voice* boo, you whore!” act every time i didn’t turn up on date that he’d asked me on…. maybe he could’ve treated me like that. but i’ll never know lol.
so cbb was unlike mr stalker; who was obsessed with my supposed “girlfriend material” status. mr stalker was obsessed with the fact that i had the ability and audacity to basically tell him “no”, by coyly letting him down with “my dad says i can’t date bc it distracts me from school and getting good marks 🙄😑” (which probably wasn’t true, looking back lmao)….. where he then whined PUBLICLY on facebook about it, with a status like “today sucks”… and then naming and shaming me in the comments when someone asked in the post comments what was wrong like: “*insert my name here* said no! she’s being a bitch!”. that at the time, made me roll my eyes and still does today when i think about it. because bro. i had literally only known you for two fucking days at that point. of course i’m going to say no. what the hell??? two days is nowhere near enough time to know a person well enough (although the conversation we had together on misguided trip to his house one day while we were wagging (skipping class/playing hooky for americans) aboriginal studies told me MORE THAN ENOUGH about his piece of shitness tbh) to “date” them imo.
because to me, the title “girlfriend material” doesn’t mean any fucking thing. but when it comes from a creep like mr stalker; it means “you’ll be my girlfriend forever and have my kids bc you’re such a nice girl and you’ll fix me bc that’s what nice girls like you do; bc you’re SO LOYAL AND NICE!” which i also saw as a MASSIVE RED FLAG back then, because we were literally 16yo kids (he literally told me this when we were on his bed in his bedroom in the aforementioned misguided trip to his house). and i also saw it as a red flag bc…. just because i’m “loyal” and “nice” doesn’t mean that i’ll spend LITERAL Y E A R S trying to “fix you” while you fuck around and never bother to change your behaviour all bc you think it’s “girly” to do just that. it definitely DOES NOT MEAN that i’ll have KIDS with you, what the actual fuck. like i’m a hopeless romantic, to an extent, mr creeper. but not to the extent where i’ll give myself up to someone like you, all because i’m “nice and caring” and it’s apparently what “nice girls do!!!” or whatever else fucked up guilt trip views you’ve got on why girls/women supposedly have to waste their time with and on you.
and also, on another front. CBB never FOLLOWED me home (considering he lived in a suburb 20mins away from mine lmao and we both lived at least 15mins away from the catholic school we attended) despite me telling him REPEATEDLY to “fuck off and walk home your way”….. whereas unfortunately, mr creeper lived just over the other side of my suburb.
so one day mr creeper decided to stalk me home (despite me saying the above “fuck off and walk home your way” comment constantly to him in the 10min walk home). and then when we got to my street and in front of my house he decided to joke that “oh now i know where your house and bedroom are, i’ll come to hide under your bed naked one day!!!! and when you get home (bc i’ll obvs do it when you’re out doing something), you’ll just have to FUCK ME because you’ll be so surprised that im there and ready to fuck you!” as if i’d be so overcome with supposed lust & love for him, after knowing that he’d broken into my room against my will and messed with my shit….. all for some cutesy love prank…. like in, idk, love actually (???) or himym (specifically the “naked man!” episode from season 4) or some other shitty romcom. bc no. you’re overstepping SO MANY fucking boundaries that i’d literally call the police on your stupid fucking stalker ass. what the actual fuck.
finally, cbb never forced me to try to kiss him, unlike mr stalker…. who whenever he got the chance, he’d grab my head and force me to kiss him…. and then gave me back the utterly disgusting & controlling GALL to tell me that i was “kissing wrong” and whinge/bitch that i “wasn’t into it”. and then he’d force me to kiss him again with a “im so sorry does this fix it 🥰🥺???” like NO???!!! forcefully kissing me DOES NOT FUCKING FIX ANYTHING YOU STUPID CUNT! please just get the FUCK away from me. like if you force me into anything, of course i’m not going to enthusiastically enjoy it??? and moreover, don’t you think it’s YOU who is “kissing wrong” (whatever the FUCK that bullshit actually means) and not me???? why do you think GRABBING MY HEAD and FORCING me to kiss you is appropriate in ANY of these situations????
just. to end this. to anyone and everyone, regardless of their gender/sexuality/age etc. NEVER trust anyone who uses the term “girlfriend material”/“boyfriend material”, to describe you, most especially when you’ve JUST MET them.
they’re using it as a means to control you and possibly trap you into an unhealthy (or potentially abusive) relationship like i would’ve had with my stalker/creeper. but most especially, this goes out to my younger followers, if i have any. be aware of this. watch out for the small red flags and run at the earliest time.
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The Acheron Cottage -- aka Swynlake’s Burrow
This is a REBOOT of the first in a series that one day may be complete but also may never be complete. As most of you know I’m like a huge #spatial person in my writing, so all my character’s houses/apartments/living spaces are really well mapped out in my brain? And I thought it’d be fun for people to see. (And a good reference for those who may RP in those spaces at some point.)
And since we just did a whole plot where Hades and Belle renovated their house, I thought I would update their floorplan! (Also, because I’m super obsessed with this magical house.)
@trip-downtheriverstyx, @lou-bonfightme
Overview:
The Acheron cottage is now a 3 ½ (from 1 ½) bath, 6 bedroom cottage that was built in the 1700s sometime most likely and finished renovations in late June of 2021. Due to the fact the house is now four floors, taller than most of the trees in the area, and most of the surrounding houses are only 2 floor simple farmhouses and cottages, it sticks out a bit in the landscape, not to mention its haphazard leaning-tower of Piza style architecture. The new floors look like they were just kind of slapped onto the original house. (Think the Burrow.)
It is on 5 acres of land and backs up against the woods. There is a small stable and pasture on the land, as well as a large garden. It’s located in Southwest Swynlake, a few minutes walk from the local stable. There are neighboring farms, but they’re far enough away to not really count as proper neighbors.
Assume that all walls that are not covered by windows or other things (like closets) are full of books. The walls alternate between painted wood paneling and stone. Floors are wood except for the mud room, which are stone. The garden is shown in every photo, in order to orient yourself with which way the rooms are facing.
Residents:
Belle Acheron, Hades Acheron, Toulouse Bonfamille, Opal Acheron, Aidan Acheron, Bellamy Acheron, Arthur the ghost, other ghosts, chickens!, Philippe, Angus, the Black Shuck, Victoire, Vincent, Honoré, and Lord Voltaire Scalington, Destroyer of Universes.
**note: pictures in the aesthetic are to give an overall #feel of the house, but don’t necessarily indicate the exact furniture/decorations/floorplan. the floorplan, on the other hand is not quite to scale but i did the best i could.
1. Entryway
When you first walk into the house on your left is a row of hooks (made out of various odds and ends), on which to hang jackets. To your right is a little table and a mirror, probably plants added (thanks, Toulouse.) The hallway is wide but short and opens up into the living room area. The stairs are directly across from the front door. You can also see all the way through into the kitchen from the entryway.
2. Living Room
The living room is the most spacious room in the house and has remained so, even though other parts of the house were expanded. There is a large window seat beneath the front window. Two chairs and a couch are situated near the fireplace, which is dressed in the original brick, these are new pieces of furniture. It was painted a very pale, fading yellow, but now is painted a pale blue. Furniture is cozy and neutral colors (couch is a coffee colour and leather to prevent staining, chairs are a nice maroon colour, picked out by Lou with Hades’ influence). Lots of blankets (because Belle gets cold easily) and books along all the walls. A carpet is laid down beneath the couch/chairs.
These days, there are a few family portraits in spaces on bookshelves and above the mantel: one from Belle and Hades’ wedding, of the just the two of them and one of the whole wedding party; pictures of the children and with Toulouse, of course. Also, a picture of Belle’s mother has a place of importance among one of the shelves. There is also a picture of Persephone reading with Vincent in her old room. There is also evidence of children: toys and such littered about. It is rarely ever fully clean, no matter how fuitally Hades tries. The living room–as well as the rest of the house–is home to several clocks–on walls, on shelves, etc. Belle’s father was a clockmaker and Belle and him used to fiddle with the broken ones–made them tell time backwards or too fast or only every other hour. Belle and Hades’ chess table moved from the mudroom into the living room, near the fireplace. There is almost always a game in progress.
If one has a keen eye, they will notice there are no logs by the fire, nor soot in the fireplace. Yet, often, an eerie blue fire will be burning in it during the colder months.
3. Kitchen
The kitchen was the room that increased in size the most. The wall where the stove is was knocked out and pushed backwards to shift everything to the left. It now boasts copious counterspace, as well as a large island that is usually cluttered with mail and children’s things. Refrigerator, stove, oven, no dishwasher (which is probably the bane of Hades’ existence since Belle hates doing dishes and Lou doesn’t know how.) Cabinets are cherry wood; some are refurbished, and the new ones were made to match the originals.
Window over the sink looks out over the horse pasture in the distance (a few meters from the house.) Big, gorgeous window overlooking the garden in the “breakfast nook” area. Dining table is a cherry wood to match the cabinets and has eight matching chairs. Usually, the chairs are pushed to the walls, except for ones that are needed. This room is home to the only clock that is not digital that works in the entire house. It’s on the window ledge above the sink and was the first clock that Belle ever fixed by herself.
4. Mudroom
Where Belle always comes in from her horse rides, the door of which leads out into the garden and beyond. This is where winter clothes are stored and muddy shoes are piled by the door. It has a stone floor and is generally the coldest room in the house. The laundry machine and dryer are in this room. It used to be where Belle and Hades played chess. Now, their chess table can be found in the living room.
5. Guest Restroom
There is a new bathroom in the mudroom, for guests and the family to use conveniently. (And for Belle to clean up when coming from outside, Hades loves it.) It is just a sink and toilet but it is much better than making everyone go upstairs when they come over.
6. The Garden
The garden was neglected for a long while, since it was Belle’s mother’s. Originally it was full of just rose bushes, but many of them had died due to neglect (whoops). Persephone managed to save a few but the ones that couldn’t be, she and Belle (with the help of Haku) ripped them out and replaced them with different vegetables and flowers. It has a low brick wall around it. It backs up almost right to the woods. It is now Toulouse’s space and he will make it beautiful, with roses and other flowers and different fruits and vegetables. The opening at the top of it leads down to the pastures and off to the right of the garden is where the woods are.
7. Hallway
There is really nothing special about the hallway. It’s actually quite blank. There are more bookshelves though, which used to make the hallway a bit of a tight squeeze but they had to expand the wall in order to include stairs going up to the third floor, so it is more spacious now (though, not by a lot.)
8. Toulouse’s Room
This room used to be Persephone’s. It is currently Opal’s. However, it will, one day, be Toulouse’s, so I am going to describe that set up.
As you can see from the floor plan, there are copious amounts of plants in his room. He probably has very nice silky sheets--a dark green, maybe, with green walls. He has a long bookshelf among the far wall. On top of this is Voltaire’s tank. Probably a few paintings hung up and a dresser. The door that looks like it goes to nowhere? Oh, yeah. That’s his ever-expanding magical closet. It is a walk-in and is spelled to expand the more he needs it to. It exists now, but it has a child-proof magic lock on it so that Opal cannot get into it, lol. There is a cat tower for Honoré, though both of the cats hang out in Lou’s room, because Vincent is used to it too bc it used to be Persephone’s room.
There is a dog bed in the corner for Victoire, though she usually just sleeps with Lou, if Hades isn’t staying the night with him.
9. Belle’s Room
This room used to be Belle’s, it’s the room she grew up in. However, right now it is currently the twins’ room. However, one day it will go back to being Belle’s, so I am going to describe that set up.
A bit more spacious than the other room (but not by too much) Belle’s room is equipped with a closet, though it isn’t that big, as well as bookshelves all along the walls. There is also a reading nook in one corner with a window seat in it that Maurice built for her (which is why it’s in such a kooky spot) and it is probably Belle’s favourite spot in the whole house (after her secret office). The walls were repainted in a splendid sky blue. Her bedsheets are blue with little flower designs on them. Belle actually doesn’t spend a whole lot of time in her room, except for when she’s getting ready for bed. And I’d say she sleeps in Hades’ room probably 2 nights a week tops, but usually less than that, tbh.
10. Bathroom
Just your standard bathroom, nothing fancy about it. I assume Belle’s house runs on well water and it takes forever to get warm, which is the bane of everyone’s existence, especially Toulouse. This will mostly be his bathroom in the future, as Belle will take baths and such in the master bathroom.
11. Master Bedroom (Hades’ Room)
Biggest room in the house. It used to be Belle’s parents, and then Belle’s father’s. It has been Hades’ ever since he moved in. It is the neatest in the house because Hades is a tyrant about that and so even Belle’s things must be cleaned up. There’s a bedside drawer on either side of the bed, each has their own matching lamp. I imagine the bedsheets are like, extremely boring actually, like legitimately just white or a pale gray. There is also a space in this room, probably by the window, with arm chairs and a little table, where there is a chess board set up so Belle and Hades can play here too.
On the main dresser at the top, there is a jewelry stand for Hades’ various necklaces and bracelets. There is also a watch stand.
The walk-in closet is also extremely neat; Hades has an entire shelf for shoes which is neat of him.
The door that looks like it goes to nowhere? Oh, yeah. That’s Belle and Hades’ secret office. More on that in the section below. ~~
12. Master Bathroom
This only gets its own shout out because a) it is where Opal was born, b) I wanted the secret office to be #13, lol, c) I have a few headcanons about it. Mostly that Belle still uses it to do most of her nighttime routine stuff, because I feel like her and Hades probably have a groove going at this point and I think it’s cute. Also, she takes a lot of baths, so she’s in there all the time. She gets ready in the hallway bathroom in the morning though, since she gets up before Hades.
It is ALSO very neat, very clean counters lol and there are lots of skin products neatly arranged in drawers. He probably cleans up every morning after Belle from the night before, lmao. (Though, she DOES respect the bathroom as His Space and cleans up after herself, just...not to his standards.)
13. Belle and Hades’ Secret Office
It has a special rune on it that locks it unless you know the way in and can disappear if you want to hide it. Inside, Belle and Hades have hidden some of their more precious artifacts and books, things that they don’t want to get into the wrong hands.
The tan couch from the living room has been brought up to it, since it was getting far too small for the space downstairs and Belle didn’t want to get rid of it since it held so much sentimental value to them. The window looks out over the garden below, though it doesn’t actually exist to be looking out into the garden. From the outside, you cannot see it at all. It simply doesn’t exist.
Most everything in it is new. There is a lovely circular oak table in the middle, with matching chairs, and bookshelves surrounding all available walls. The desk labeled A is Hades and the desk labeled B is Belle’s, and they are both oak to match the table and custom fitted to the room. There is also a cabinet next to the couch that has a vault-like magic’ed drawer where they can hide things.
14. Bellamy’s Room
Eventually, this room will be Bellamy’s when the twins stop sharing a room by the time they’re about 13/14. Until then, it will be used The smallest of the three upstairs rooms. Some people might assume that Bellamy got it by default because he is technically the youngest, but he’s actually quite fine with it. He is the most like his mother when it comes to his living spaces. AKA -- he is a squirrel and likes his cozy little nest that is much messier than either of his siblings. He’s that person that puts clothes in drawers with one hand while reading with the other.
15. Opal’s Room
Eventually, this room will be Opal’s. She’ll probably move up there when she’s like five or six, idk whatever the appropriate age would be for a kid to be more or less self-sufficient in the regard of going to sleep/getting up. In the meantime, it will probably be Lou’s because it looks out over the garden. Which means she will probably get a lot of leftover plants from him because he won’t want to disturb them.
It is probably like a nice soft purple color or something right now. Opal constantly changes it. She repaints the room at least once a year and gets yelled at by her parents for rearranging her furniture at 2am sometimes. Also, the armchair in her room is the rocking chair that was in her nursery.
16. Aidan’s Room
At first, this room will be both Bellamy and Aidan’s because it is the biggest of the three upstairs rooms. The bed with the book on it is Bellamy’s and the one that is empty is Aidan’s. They don’t mind sharing really and I imagine won’t get in lots of arguments about things.
Because they are mediums, they both stay up late though they know not to disturb their parents or they’ll earn their wrath so they learn early on how to solve their own problems if they are getting on each other’s nerves. Their room is probably painted a nice pale yellow. Their biggest argument is probably closet space, because I could see Aidan being a fashionista and encroaching on Bellamy’s space and him getting annoyed about it.
17. Children’s Bathroom
It’s a bathroom? I don’t know. There are probably lots of fights about who gets to use it first in the mornings and people taking too long. Though, there are other bathrooms that people can use. I imagine there are mornings where one of the kids just marches into Hades’ room like ALL THE BATHROOMS ARE TAKEN, I’M USING YOURS!
What I’m saying is that privacy is an issue in this house, lmao. Yes, they expanded, but everyone is still living on top of each other.
18. Library
What? I thought there were books all over the house? Why do they need a library?
Because there will always be more books in the house! Also, they needed another room to escape for anyone in the family who might need it. Feel like Bellamy will haunt it most often as he grows older, but Belle will go there too rather frequently. She likes to be surrounded by books. There is another chess table here (yes, that makes three.) Sometimes, Hades and Belle will sneak off to the library just to play a game of chess without being disturbed, because they don’t keep one in the office. (The office is for working, the library is for relaxation.)
It is probably quite small actually and with a low, gabled ceiling. Floor to ceiling bookshelves all the way around the walls.
19. Toulouse’s Studio
Unattached to the rest of the house and above Hades’ garage, is Toulouse’s art studio. To get in you have to climb a spiral iron staircase. On the west side of the studio are floor to ceiling windows that look out over the forest. On the south side of the studio is another large window (though, not floor to ceiling), that looks towards the house/the garden/the horse pastures beyond. Beneath this window is his desk. To the left of his desk is a long workbench with several stools where his woodworking and other projects will be.
His favorite spot to paint is the place with the stool and empty easel, near the large floor-to-ceiling windows. There are also multiple plants in the room, scattered throughout. The couch actually pulls out into a bed, though it is rarely used. Sometimes, if Lou is in one of his moods, or if he just gets stuck on a project, he will stay the night in his studio.
This is Lou’s space and Belle/Hades rarely go in it, except to fetch him for dinner or whatnot. Sometimes, though, Opal will join him in it. She is the only one brave enough to put up with Lou when he’s in a bad mood and doesn’t want to be disturbed. It is also where she goes when she gets in fights with Belle and Hades, lol. Lou is the indulgent parent and everyone would rather she ran away to Lou’s art studio than to like...the wilds.
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Coming Out
Bi!Spencer Reid x Bi!Female Reader
A/N: Hey guys! I wasn't planning on writing something this closely to posting Oblivious, however the wonderful @thatsonezesty13 commented “could Spencer possibly be bi also bc like he was supposed to be but the network said no” and it sparked an idea in my brain. They also helped me out on a couple other details in this, so big thank you to you!! So here we are! Fun fact! I am currently listening to Bye Bye Bye by *NSYNC as I write this so that's fun! Anyways there will be some more pride related content coming soon, as well as other things! Send any requests you have my way and I'll get to it. Enjoy :)
Word count: 2095
The month of June rolled round far too quickly. It had hit half way through the year and I’d had 4 days off work, possibly 5, since Christmas. I guess that's a bad part of doing this job, not having much (or any for that matter) downtime in between jobs. It was exhausting at times, but I wouldn't change what I did for anything. One things June meant was 2 guaranteed days off. Not for the whole office, but I put in that request years ago. Nobody could say no once I told them what I would be spending those 2 days doing.
San Diego pride was a 2-day event I spent 363 days (or 364 days on a leap year, can't forget about them years) a year counting down to. It was the 2 days a year that I was able to be truly myself. I love my team and I don't think anyone would ever care if I was to reveal the one secret I had been hiding since I became part of the team. the only one who knew was Hotch, but that was only because I had to tell him in order to get those 2 days off a year.
Don’t get me wrong, it’s not that I think they will react badly. I mean, everyone knows about Emily and nobody took that badly. I think its more of that I like having a part of my life that's just for me. I mean when you take a job like this, any secret you ever had comes to light. Whether you like it or not, every member of your team will know every detail there is to know about your private life. Other times, I wish we had more privacy. But other times, the lack of privacy comes in handy. Like today, for example.
The moment Spencer Reid took a step into the office I knew something was off. And the minute he made eye contact with me, he knew that I knew somethings off. I’d never be one to push. “Hey Spencie” I said as he sat down in the cubicle next to me. He looked up at me with a slightly confused face. “I know you might not want to talk about what's bothering you, but know if you do you can always speak to me. I won't judge you on anything. You have a safe place with me, please know that” I say in a slightly hushed voice, sending him a reassuring smile before getting on with the pile of neglected paperwork on my desk. If he wanted to talk about it, he could come to me. I had a feeling this was something that you couldn't be able to push out of a person.
-
Later that afternoon I was making coffee in the conference room. For some reason the coffee from the conference room tasted a million times better than the one in the kitchen. I had no clue why though because they seemed to be the exact same machine. All I know if the coffee in here is a heck of a lot better than near my desk, so it was worth the extra walking to get it. I didn't seem to be the only one who thought that though as shortly after I start making a pot Spencer walks in. I spin slightly, smiling at him. He still seemed troubled, almost like he was having an internal debate with himself.
“You okay there Spencie?” I ask pouring the coffee into the pot, spinning round to put the pot of freshly brewed goodness on the table. He seemed to still be at war with himself, but the whiff of coffee soon knocked him out of his mind and back into reality. I hold my hand out to fill up his cup, something he happily accepts.
“I- um” he starts, trying to choose his next words wisely, “have you ever had something you've wanted to scream out for the longest time, but you've never been able to?”
“Of course, I could things of a couple things on the spot. I’m sure if I sat and thought about it for a minute or two I’d be able to think of more. Why, what's going on in that cute head of yours?” We both seemed to gravitate to sitting next to each other, bodies pointed at one another.
Spencer sits in silent for a minute or two before asking timidly, “C-can I trust you?”
“I’d hope you can trust me, if you can't then I've done something wrong without knowing it” I say, not quite sure where he was going with this one. It’s not often Spencer says things that leave me confused. I mean I don't have an IQ of 197, I can’t read 20,000 words a minute and my memory is anything but eidetic - BUT you give us a bunch of facts to sort out and a case to solve, we become the perfect team.
“Promise you won't judge me?” he says, a bit apprehensive. With that, I grab his hand from under the table and hold it gently in my hands, rubbing it gently to help soothe him.
“Hey, look at me” I say, “have I ever judged you? The first time I met you was just after you’d been held hostage and were addicted to Dilaudid. For two weeks I bared the brunt of your come down because I knew there was a sweet, kind man underneath. When Gideon told you how you'd treated me when you came clean about what happened, you apologised multiple times a day for months until I snapped at you. Remember what I said to you? ‘You have nothing to apologise for-’”
“’that was the drug talking, not you” he finishes sighing softly. “I’m really sorry about that you know” he says, smiling softly at me. I gave him a look, making him laugh softly. “Right sorry.”
“Spencer!”
“Sorr-”
“Nope, that words banned.”
“You can't ban a word Y/N!”
“Watch me!” I say, half joking (but he didn't need to know that), “So what's wrong?”
He sighs, looking up. As we make eye contact I can see the clogs spinning at 100mph in his head. “Take as much time as you need Spencie, I’ll be here.”
“Um, I haven't told anyone this before. Not because I’m afraid of how they’ll take it because I know they aren't small-minded people like that. I think its because if I say it out loud, if I admit what I am out loud, it’ll be real.”
“Spencie, you've lost me sweeties.”
“I guess what I'm trying to say is... okay so remember when we went to Miami for that case last year?”
“The one where the unsub was confused about his identity so he took it out on his victims?” I ask, my mind racing through every detail on that case.
“Yeah that one. So you know we all stayed an extra night, went to that club and I disappeared half way through the night?” I nod my head, still confused as to where this was going, “well that night I met someone. They were gorgeous and one things lead to another, and we went back to their place, and y’know.”
I squint my eyes slightly, confused as to what he was implying, “they?”
He scratches his head, eyes wandering to the door to make sure we were alone.
“See, the person I left with was a guy...”
“You hooked up with a guy?” I ask, the pieces slowly starting to click together in my head.
“Y-yeah I did. I didn't plan it, it just kinda happened. After that, it sent me crazy trying to piece together who I was. I knew I couldn't be gay because... okay since we’re getting everything out in the open.. because I've always had somewhat of a crush on you.”
“Wait, on me?” He nods, eyes flitting between mine, trying to figure out my response. “So, do you think you’re bi?”
“I’m like 99% sure I’m bi” he replies, chuckling to himself.
“I’m proud of you Spencie, I know it’s not easy coming out to people. Especially people who mean a lot to you. I promise you I am always going to be in your life, one way or another. And I also promise you that no matter what happens, will support you and I will fight in your corner” I say, grabbing his hand slightly tighter, “no matter what!!”
He smiles, relaxing slightly. For a moment, everything was peaceful. Spencer was so proud of himself for coming out, and the internal battle had moved from Spencer’s brain to yours truly.
“Hey Spence?”
“Hmm”
“Since we are being completely open here, I have something to tell you.”
“What? What is it?” he asks, worried for his friend.
“So you know how I take 2 days off every year?” I start.
“Yeah, why is that?”
“I take 2 days off to march in the San Diego pride march. I’ve done it every year for the past 13 years, and I knew it was something I had to do every year. When Hotch interview me for this job and he asked if I had any commitments I needed time off for, I said I needed 2 days off every July. Hotch being Hotch asked why, and when I told him I was marching for those who couldn't do it themselves, for whatever reason, he quickly agreed.”
“Okay, I'm still confused. Are you marching for someone other than the people unable to do it themselves? 13 years is a long time to be doing something, especially something for other people.”
“No, I do it for myself too.”
“I’m, um, still confused Y/N” Spencer says, half annoyed with myself for not being able to connect the dots that are right in front of himself.
“No, it’s okay I wasn't clear. Me and you are a lot more similar under the surface than you think Spencie” I say, not putting my sexuality into words because I can never find the right words to use to say it, without blurting it out with no context.
“I still don't get it Y/N!” he half shouts, ripping his hand out of mine and tugging at his hair. Almost as if someone flips a switch in his brain, Spencer shoots his head up. Bingo! I tell myself.
“You-you’re bi?”
“I sure am Spencie. I have been since the minute I was born.”
“Why didn't you say nothing earlier? All those years I've asked what you do on the same 2 days a year, year in and year our.”
“I didn't say anything to anyone, bar Hotch, because I wanted something that’s just for me. Call me selfish, but I’d rather not give Morgan even more of an excuse to try and set me up with someone when we all go for a drink. he’s bad enough already” I explain, trying to make the situation a bit lighter by joking with him. He goes along with the joke, jokingly pulling a mortified face.
“That’s very true, we don't need to give Derek anymore ammunition than he already has.”
“My point exactly!” I say, laughing and pulling him in for a hug. The hug quickly gets interrupted by a pair of clicking heels approaching the conference room.
“Hey cuties, head’s up everyone's on their way here. We got called in on a job” Penelope says, smiling gently to herself.
“God where would we be without you Penny?” I ask, beaming up at her.
“Oh angel cakes, you’d probably be very stuck” she replies, turning on her heels and walking off.
As she leaves the voices of our other colleagues float into the room, alerting us of their incoming presence. Spencer pulls at my arm slightly, turning me to face him.
“Hey, do you think I’d be able to join you next month?”
“You sure Spencie? You don't have to feel obliged to.”
“No, I want to.”
“I’ll speak to Hotch later and see if he's okay with it. I wouldn't see why not. You deserve a break” I reply with a smiling face, giving his arm a quick squeeze.
“Hey there you are!” Emily says, “we’ve been looking all over for you two!”
“Sorry, we didn't realise how much time had passed.”
“Is everything okay?” Hotch asks.
“We’re all good” I say, not being able to contain the smile on my face anymore.
“If you say so Y/N” Hotch says back, “okay JJ, what have we got?”
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I'm feeling very frustrated with myself because no matter how much I want to write, I never seem to find a rythym. But then I remembered you saying something about writing your one shots all in one go and it taking you a long time to get back to that place and I thought it might be smth like that, yk? And the truth is for me to get anywhere close to 2 or 3 uninterrupted hours, I'd need a veritable miracle. Why do you figure some people need so much time to get into the proper headspace?
the simple answer friend is that life is loud. i have a quiet life. i live by myself, i'm home from work before 4:30 most days. the trade off is i go in early, but i'm an early bird by nature. i pay more in rent than i probably should so that i can have a short commute. i see my friends on the evenings, the weekends, but during the week mostly i get to decide what to do with every minute of my time. i don't even cook during the week; i cook on sundays so i literally come home, write a full chapter, and then microwave some leftovers. i have a lot more time than most people do and a lot less responsibilities. most people don't have three hours on a friday night and three hours on a saturday morning to sit very still without any sort of interruption and bang out a 10k fic. i am spiders georg; i am able to put out a lot of work bc my circumstances are very different from a lot of people's and so i should not be used as a baseline or an example of how people write fic.
do you know i counted it up, and between writing, making gifs, answering asks, replying to DMs, etc, i spend about 10-20 hours a week on fandom stuff? i got like a part time job for no pay doing this stuff. most people don't have that much extra time to spend. and that's okay.
most people aren't updating two fics twice a week and churning out one shots on the weekend. once a week updates are more common. sporadic updates are more common than that.
so i say all this to say: please don't beat yourself up for having a life and finding it hard to make time for fic.
now i understand that you want to make time for it, and that it's frustrating when you want to do something but it just isn't coming together. and maybe because you can't find enough time to finish the thing in one go, it feels like the thing is too big to get it done, and so it feels impossible to start?
this is where mama comes in. whenever we were overwhelmed, facing a task or a problem that seemed so insurmountable we wanted to give up before we even started, mama always said the same thing, and i'm gonna say it to you now.
you know how you eat an elephant? one bite at a time.
so. we don't look at the elephant. we just look at the next bite.
you don't have 2-3 hours. you only have a few minutes. so you're not gonna finish the chapter. but you can write a paragraph. you can't do 2,000 words, but maybe you can do 200. you can do a lot, with 200 words. maybe you can even do 500. and then you have to walk away, but you come back, you take the next bite, and you'll get there. a story is built a few words at a time. 200 words here and there adds up to something meaningful. it will have taken me almost exactly 6 months to finish hell of a view. and it will have been done in pieces, and your fic, whatever it is, will be built the same way.
take notes on your phone when you have ideas. if you know what you want the chapter to be but you don't have time to finish it, knock up a quick bullet point outline so you know what you need to write the next time you sit down. think about what you're going to write while you're in the car, in the shower. if you know what the scene looks like before you sit down, it will be easier to get some words on the page.
but most of all, keep at it.
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Day 13, Todd - Family
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Amanda: hey, what time are you showing up at mom and dad's on tuesday? (7:02PM)
Todd: For what? Why would I go to their house? (7:05PM)
Amanda: …for hannukah? they sent out the invite three weeks ago, asshole. check your fucking email (7:10PM)
Todd switches apps on his phone and opens his Gmail account. The only things in his inbox are bills and spam. He looks in his spam folder, and even checks his agency account, just in case they had, for some reason, found that email address and sent him an email there.
Nothing.
He searches both accounts for his mom's email address, and finds only the last email she'd sent him, before all of this shit went down. Before he'd told Amanda the truth, and she'd told their parents. Before he was on the FBI's Most Wanted list for almost three months. Before they opened the agency.
Hey sweetie, it's MOM. Mandy said she's feeling better this week – are you going to visit her? Call me when you get there, if you can! :-)
Dad found a place to give him an interview, even with his knee, so send him some love and prayers! :-)
I miss you, you're doing great.
Love, MOM
<3 (Mandy says this is a heart, but in case you can't tell, imagine I put a heart there!)
He hadn't called her on that visit – all of his attention was taken up by Dirk, and it felt weirdly vulnerable to call his mother in front of some weird stranger. After that visit to Amanda, he'd been a little too busy to call her during the Patrick Spring case, and then he was afraid calling her would be trackable, and would bring the FBI down on his and Farah's heads. And since getting back to Seattle… Well, he's tried calling his parents a few times, and sent them an email over the high holidays, but they haven't responded.
He knows why, but it's just been easier to pretend that they were busy, to let Amanda send him occasional messages when she visited home, to imagine that they just… hadn't gotten around to responding to his lengthy apology email.
That strategy doesn't seem to be possible, here.
Todd: No email. (7:43PM)
Amanda: you sure? (7:44PM)
Todd: Yeah. (7:46PM)
Amanda doesn't respond and Todd slumps back into the couch, rubbing a hand over his face. This was… this was utterly predictable. He knew this was coming as far back as Amanda's first Pararibulitis attack, and this is what he knew would happen if they ever found out, and he can't pretend that they're just busy any more. He hasn't been invited home for the family Hanukkah celebration. He's not family any more.
This is the natural consequences of his actions, and he isn't even sure if he deserves to feel miserable.
Fuck.
Why does this suck so much? It's not like he was close with them, anyway. Not for a lack of effort on his parents' behalf, of course. That last email from his mom is typical. Just that it's hard to want to spend time with people you hurt, you're hurting, even if they don't know it. He kept hanging with Amanda because she needed him, and he needed to keep trying to make up for how shitty he was, but there was no way that he could ever save up enough to pay his parents back for years of – of stealing from and lying to them. So spending time with them, talking to them beyond occasional five minute phone call and a yearly awkward hanukkah gathering, never really happened.
Does this even matter? Should it matter?
Of course it matters. It's a punishment from his parents, for being awful to them. He's supposed to feel like shit.
Well, that's successful, then.
Dirk and Farah are out at some kind of trivia night thing, and Todd is honestly kind of relieved. He's not sure if he can handle them right now. Not in a bad way. Just that, Farah wants to be comforting but isn't ever really sure how, and Dirk is sure that he knows how to be comforting but rarely succeeds, and Todd always has to pretend that he feels very comforted by whichever of them has drawn the short straw to hang out with him when he's miserable, and he doesn't really feel like pretending right now.
His phone dings.
Amanda: i texted mom. (8:12PM)
Todd: …? (8:14PM)
Amanda: she said it wasn't an accident (8:20PM)
Todd: I figured *shrug emoji* (8:22PM)
Amanda: i feel kind of weird about this, tbh? (8:24PM)
Amanda: like, i'm still pissed at you, but you know that, and we're working on it (8:24PM)
Amanda: and i told mom that and she said that you emailed her for yk and apologized and that she didn't respond (8:24PM)
Amanda: and that sounds shitty of her? (8:25PM)
Amanda: but also you were shitty (8:26PM)
Amanda: like, really shitty (8:26PM)
Todd: I know that. I was shitty. And she doesn't have to respond to me. (8:27PM)
Amanda: it just feels weird bc she's our mom (8:31PM)
Todd: Yeah. (8:32PM)
Todd: I'm… having some feelings about it. (8:32PM)
Amanda: well i guess i'm proud of you for having feelings? idk (8:33PM)
Amanda: do you want me to not go? (8:37PM)
Todd: No! (8:37PM)
Todd: No, no. Go spend Hanukkah with mom and dad. I'm bummed, but I'll be fine. (8:37PM)
Todd: I'll try emailing them again next Yom Kippur, I guess. That always seemed to mean something to dad. (8:39PM)
Amanda: that could work (8:40PM)
Amanda: idk (8:40PM)
Todd: I don't know either, if it helps. This sucks, but I knew it was coming, I guess. (8:42PM)
Amanda: :/ (8:45PM)
Todd: :/ (8:46PM)
Todd drops his phone on the coffee table and stands up, shoves his hands through his hair, and sits right back down. Then he stands up again, because while he has no idea what to do with himself, he at least wants to not know what to do somewhere other than the couch. He looks in the fridge without taking anything out of it, contemplates and rejects the idea of a shower, and then grabs the pipe and lighter from his dresser and climbs out the kitchen window and on to the fire escape. He leans up against the side of the building and shivers as a gust of December air hits his neck and seeps in through the fabric of his hoodie.
"Fuck," he says, voice lost in the night, and cups the bowl in one hand and lights it with the other. He takes a long inhale. The smoke floods his lungs and he tops it off with clean, cold air, then holds the breath for a beat before exhaling. He lets the smoke drift away and sits with the scent lingering in his nose before taking a second hit, and then a third. He taps the ash out through the grate next to him, shoves the pipe and lighter back into his hoodie pocket, and thumps his head back against the brick.
It's hard to not feel like a complete piece of shit when your parents have disowned you. Like, the people who are supposed to love and care for you no matter what just don't want to see you for the holidays? That's pretty bad.
He knows that it's not like he doesn't deserve it – he did a horrible thing. Like, a really horrible thing. The kind of thing that gets you disowned by your parents. But it… it really sucks. This whole situation sucks. And it's a situation he made, which means that he sucks.
It's cold outside. Not quite freezing, but not that far above it, either, and his hoodie isn't quite cutting it. He doesn't go inside, though. If he goes inside, he'll check his phone and reread the conversation with Amanda, and have to start thinking about it all over again. So he just stays on the fire escape, buries his chin in the collar of his hoodie, and tries to think about anything other than his parents choosing to ignore him, and not see him for the holidays.
"Fuck," he says again. And that seems to sum it up.
Todd loses track of how long he spends on the fire escape, but it's long enough that he's not really cold any more, just trembling slightly, when the door to the apartment bangs closed.
"Shit," Dirk swears, his voice drifting through the window. "It's bloody freezing in here."
"The window's open," Farah adds, baffled, and then says, "Todd?"
"Todd!" Dirk echoes, his voice a little louder than hers.
"I'm out –" Todd coughs, then tries again. "I'm out here! Sorry!"
He can hear some bustling and movement from inside, and then a long leg sticks through the open window and taps around, looking for the floor, and is then quickly followed by a body. Dirk steps out of the way for Farah, who is altogether more graceful when exiting the building, and they both look down at him, separate expression of confusion on their faces.
"Why are you out here?" Dirk asks bluntly.
Farah shakes her head and puts on hand on Dirk's shoulder, asks, "how long have you been out here?"
Todd shrugs. "Maybe since nine? I'm not sure. What time is it?"
"It's almost ten," Farah says, and crouches down in front of him. "What the hell, Todd?"
"I'm sorry," he says, too tired to really get riled up, or even defensive. "I didn't know what time it was. I left my phone inside."
"Will you, um. Come inside now?" Farah tries, and looks up at Dirk for back-up. Dirk has a funny expression on his face, though, and steps around both of them. He sinks to the floor next to Todd and wiggles up close, until they're pressed together at the shoulder and hip. "Dirk!" Farah exclaims.
"Come on," Dirk says, and gestures to the floor on the other side of Todd. She opens her mouth like she's going to object again, but then something on Todd's face, or on Dirk's face, seems to speak to her, and she scoots back a bit and tips off her heels and down to sitting. Farah holds still for a long moment, steeling herself with a deep breath, then presses against Todd's other side. The brick at his back and the metal grate under his ass are still cold, but his two best friends are warm on either side of him. For a moment, at least, he feels like he has family.
------------------
Link to:
day one, Farah - Youth
day two, Farah - Dance
day three, Farah - Gore
day four, Farah - GNC fashion
day five, Farah - AU
day six, Farah - Family (to be written)
day seven, Farah - Pride (to be written)
day eight, Todd - Youth (to be written)
day nine, Todd - Dance (to be written)
day ten, Todd - Gore
day eleven, Todd - GNC Fashion
day twelve, Todd - AU
prompt list
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Guns N’ Roses - Taki Kozaki (BirTAKIDAY Countdown: Day 5)
Early update today! Truth be told, I have no idea how this turned out, so I’m publishing it now instead of keeping it in drafts any longer bc then i’d shoot myself over the self scrutiny. So, if I pray to the gods that its good, and I hope you like it.
What if instead of the MC, Taki was the one who got shot?
Minor spoilers for Taki’s Season 4 Part 2. Like very minor lol. The creator chose not to give any warnings. Have fun. ;)
A gunshot. That’s all I heard.
That’s the only sound that flowed into my ears while my arms mustered all their strength to push (Y/N) away from me, and into Yosuke’s safe embrace.
I think she screamed my name, but my mind probably didn’t register it as everything lulled around me. It was as if the world came to a slow stop when I felt the bullet rip through me. That was possibly the first time in a long time when I crumbled. Not emotionally, but physically. Right onto the ground in a heap of powerless limbs. What a bloodied sight to behold.
‘When was the last time I felt so lifeless?’ I thought, gasping for air. ‘Was it when my dad left me? Or was it when I got beaten up for not paying the debt on time?’ A lazy smile made its way to my face as broken flashbacks presented themselves to me. It had been a similar situation then, with me being a mass of broken bones, pulsating bruises and blood trickling out of me, just like my life.
How had I even survived?
I didn’t know. And maybe my mind didn’t want to think any further on those lines either, for the next thing I knew, I felt myself giving in to the vortex of black calling out to me, almost sensually. I sensed its fingers reach out to me, caressing me with a certain ease before it opened its arms to welcome me in its soothing, lifeless embrace.
Just as I felt myself extend an arm towards it, I heard someone calling me. No, I heard her calling me.
I tried to ignore it, I tried to ignore her, but the voice just kept getting louder and louder. It was as if it was trying to tell me that I couldn’t leave... not like this. I couldn’t leave it all without ending things the right way. The moment that epiphany came to me, my chest heaved as a burst of life was pumped back into me.
I somehow opened my eyes, clenching my wrists against the immediate pain, and blinked the haze out of them. I looked up, on the verge of losing consciousness again, only to see (Y/N) in front of me, clutching my hands tight in hers.
‘You’re too good for me,’ I thought, and I chuckled, ignoring the stabs of discomfort shoot through me. I gazed into her eyes, wet with desperation, begging me to fight, pleading me to do everything in my power to just, somehow, anyhow, just... stay.
“Ta...Taki, no, don’t- don’t do this, please,” she whispered, trembling. (Y/N) intertwined our fingers and bit her lip, staring back at me with a longing like no other. “Please, don’t close your eyes, okay? We can make it through this, I know we can, okay? We will make it through this,” she breathed, looking away, “Just... please, please don’t close your eyes...”
“(Y/N),” I finally uttered, pushing against the dryness coating the insides of my mouth. "(Y/N), look at me, love,” I whispered again, somehow lifting my fingers to her face, tilting it so that our eyes would meet once again.
“T-Taki- no, no no, please, no,” she murmured in one quick breath, as if sensing what was about to happen.
“I love you,” I breathed, smiling as I finally felt my life slip away from my loose fingers.
And with that, I slipped into a senseless, timeless dark world, feeling it consume me from the inside out.
Things escalated quickly after that. It was like the time that had slowed down to a stop finally sped up into a run, sprinting through my fading consciousness.
Yosuke called an ambulance, even though he knew it was too late, and I was rushed to the hospital where Shun and Kiyohito sat, awaiting any update Yosuke had for them. It didn’t take long for the doctor to leave my side and walk out of the room to let them know that there was no use praying, or hoping, or... wanting.
What was done, was done.
I was with them no more.
Kiyohito, for the first time in ages, looked downright terrified as he curled into Shun’s side, whose tense shoulders did nothing to hide the anxiety he felt either, but he tried to distract himself by rubbing comforting circles on Kiyo’s shoulder as the latter’s eyes welled up with tears, refusing to believe the news.
I feel a crack echoing in my already shattered heart when I recall how pale (Y/N) looked when she crumbled to the ground, silent as a graveyard. Yosuke stood right beside her, clenching his fists to numb the pain even as a silent tear dripped down his cheek.
It happened only a week ago, but I remember everything so vividly that I still have a hard time believing if it’s really just memories or an actual movie playing at the front of my mind, every single day.
Sometimes, I still wonder if pushing her away was the right thing to do.
At the time, it seemed like it was. Pushing (Y/N) away meant saving her life, and that was all that mattered.
But now, as I watch her bite her trembling lip, quivering in her black dress while looking at the photo of me in a navy blue frame, I feel a twinge of regret. I look down at Sydney sitting beside her leg, curled up at her side, staring into my soul through the picture, and I feel a pinch of guilt for leaving this life and the two most important woman in them behind.
If anyone asked me why I’m here, I wouldn’t know how to answer them.
After all, what does one do at their own funeral?
‘I want to spend more time with you,’ I think, scoffing at myself for only realising that now, of all times. If only I looked her in the eye and not Ashiba when I felt the bullet pierce me, maybe I would have done things differently. Maybe I would have fought harder, longer. Maybe... maybe I would have saved us both.
But there never is any use crying over spilled milk, now is there?
I sigh, taking in another deep breath as I watch Yosuke walk over to the low podium, a wet handkerchief held tight between his fingers. He steps in front of the mic, and that’s when I catch a sight of his red eyes. This fool, still trying so hard to cover up how he’s feeling.
“Taki was...” he begins, before his trembling lips stop and he looks up, sniffing. “No, Taki is a...” a quiet sob pauses him, “... great friend. He has been, for the last ten years I’ve known him. Always so straightforward, always so blunt. He was so stuck up, I sometimes thought he had a stick shoved up his ass, you know?”
He laughs, but he fools nobody. His attempt at humor only backfires as his shoulders shake, and he finally lets his tears fall down. He sniffles again, trying to gather himself up, but a part of him gives up, and he just allows the world to see his cheeks, wet with tears, too tired to bother wiping them.
“But, I think that’s what I loved the most about him. His honesty. His strength. In all the years I had the honour to call myself his friend, he never once faltered. He was always so... driven. We didn’t meet under the best of circumstances, but I think life, for me at least, became a much better journey with him in it. I felt like I finally made a friend. We never explicitly stated it, but we both knew we had each other to fall back on, should we ever needed. That is... until that day one week ago. I-I’m sorry Taki, I-” he trembles,”I’m sorry I wasn’t there in time. I’m sorry I didn’t have your back when you needed it the most.”
He takes a moment to dab at his eyes with his kerchief before clearing his throat.
“I never admitted to it, but I loved the man despite all our arguments, our disagreements, our fights, our everything. I know, he loved me too. And I know, he is no longer around for me to pull his leg, or tease him,” Yosuke takes a quick breath, and when he starts speaking again, his voice is nothing above a whisper, “but I know he’ll be right here,” he touches his heart, “no matter what. I couldn’t be more grateful to have made a friend like you, Taki. God knows I’ll miss you and our banter, but... I hope you’re in a better place now. You lived a very, very good life. But I wish you’d stuck around longer, mate.”
Yosuke looks back at my picture near the coffin, and I feel my heart clench at the forlorn look he gives me.
“I’ll miss you, Tacks,” he whispers again, and I know he means it with everything he’s got. “Love you.”
I feel something wet splash against the back of my hand, and it’s then that I realise that Yosuke isn’t the only one tearing up.
This asshole. Who asked this brat to get all emotional? It wasn’t like him at all. And look what he did to me with his mindless mumbo-jumbo.
‘I’ll miss you too, Yosuke.’
One by one, each of the guys and (Y/N) say their pieces, and to my surprise, they all tear up once they look at the blue coffin inside which I lay. Heh, who knew I’d be so loved, after all?
Forget people crying for me, if ten years ago someone told me I’d even have the fortune of having someone attend my funeral, I’d laugh in their face. It’s funny how things change with time.
Before long, the proceedings are done, and it’s finally time to lay my lifeless body to rest. But just as my coffin is rested on the cool, welcoming earth, I catch (Y/N) leading a depressed Sydney to the pit. She takes the bouquet out of her mouth and places it over the wooden lid of the casket.
I gasp and feel a fresh wave of moisture greet the back of my eyes when I see what they are.
Roses. Nine of them.
‘Eternal love.’ I recall the meaning of this particular set of roses, and once again, I can’t help but be grateful to have such a friend like her. ‘Thank you.’
It’s when my wooden little residence is covered with soil and my tombstone is placed over it that I read the words chosen for me by them. Yosuke. Kiyohito, Shun, (Y/N) and Sydney. My family. A family that I’m leaving behind.
‘His true wealth was in his generous heart. And what an enormous wealth he had.’
And it’s with those lines, I finally feel myself vanish into thin air with a smile on my face. For ever.
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decathect | jjk (1)
1. to withdraw one’s feelings of attachment from (a person, idea, or object), as in anticipation of a future loss
summary: if one thing was clear to you when you first met Jeon Jungkook, it was that he would never love you. at least, not the way you wanted him to.
pairing: jjk x reader
genre: unrequited love au? || angst || little fluff if u Squint || drabble series
word count: 2.7k
parts: 1 / ? | next »
cw: uhh kinda unhealthy depictions of a crush, & jk is a fuckboy w lots of tatts and long hair so that deserves a warning on its Own i say
note: so,,, this was supposed to be a short fic bc i wanted my heart broken but it turned into a drabble series……………….we’ll see how that goes!!! rip
You’ve heard of him from your friends, and from their friends: about the infamous Jeon Jungkook and the reputation that precedes him. He’s, first and foremost, an art major — and an excelling one at that. In the short three years he’s been an undergrad, his work has been featured, so far, in a total of 4 major art exhibitions. His displayed work apparently sells rather quickly, too, which surely earns him more than enough money to successfully continue his various artistic endeavors and out-of-uni activities. You’ve heard he’s also into tattoos, boxing, and photography on the side, for example. Whether it was true or not was not something you focused on, but considering his friends were they ones telling the tales, you didn’t doubt it. Not that you thought of it often, or at all, really.
What you did question was why exactly he felt the need to stop by Taehyung’s very own, very private, and very expensive Goghrik’s Vancrylics paint collection to use instead of his own. You didn’t want to think him as cheap because, quite frankly, you knew nothing more than those whispered rumors and offhanded comments Jimin and Yoongi perpetrated on occasion. So, you settled for thinking nothing until you could get concrete answers.
For a long time Jungkook remained a simple ghost, until finally one day he just existed. Everywhere, and then, always. As if meeting him once meant he’d open the door to your home to welcome himself as an indefinite guest, you suddenly had no week free of his presence or his trace. Like a growing avalanche you learned about him with repeated increase, sometimes by choice, and sometimes by mere coincidence. Maybe it was pure coincidence, too, how you came to fall for him — for Jeon Jungkook, the artist, the fuckboy. With time though, you came to a different understanding.
Liking Jungkook was no coincidence. It was a curse – a long, and tediously everlasting hex you’d so far failed to get rid of.
And it all started, you begrudgingly admit sometimes, with some paint and very little luck.
Being in one of the most prestigious Universities in the country naturally means you consistently face the demon of a huge – nay, an enormous campus. A wide lake rests between dispersed buildings while Hi-Q food marts border each cluster of separate dorms, connected all entirely by desire paths and concrete roads. It's no surprise then that a map is the standard gift given to all entrance students, though by now you’ve memorized practically all zones you inhabit (i.e. the Natural Sciences’ Atrium, the Physics Department, and your own dorm). Most people still use theirs, along with the mandatory transportation fare card Admissions urges all newcomers to get. More than anything it’s a must-have for anyone who wants to actually make it on time to class — more so when they’re not blessed with taking courses on a near-by group of Departments.
And it just so happened you’re amongst those ill-fated few.
For four years now you’ve been a resident of Dorm C, exactly the furthest of the dorms from the NS Atrium. Instead you’re — uselessly — at a walking distance from the Plastic Arts department, a place you’ve ventured to for only a single semester back in your second year. Back then you had decided that taking Pottery was a great way to fill in some of your electives, an idea which mostly Taehyung, an art major himself, cemented in your head. You remember nothing of your treks to the department, nor of the lessons you received, but your memory often recalls it happened whenever you visit him. Your final project, a 2-piece set of misshapen cups of tea, still rests atop one of his many bookshelves to this day. Taehyung calls them “endearing”, something about them “truly reflecting a purpose beyond what their ‘perfect brethren’ are subjected to”. Which, really, is code for “they could be used as mugs, but I like them better as vases for Namjoon’s succulents,” and you’re okay with that.
Namjoon, an English Lit major, is Tae’s roommate and the other occupant of their two-bedroom flat. As luck would have it they stay on the floor above your own, right atop your much smaller and much lonelier dorm room. It’s actually one of the shared excuses you all use for your constant visits.
Half of the time you spend on their flat includes being tucked away on their couch, reading astronomy journals or watching documentaries Joon frequently sits through alongside you, or sleeping under Tae’s covers simply because he enjoys the company and can’t seem to sleep otherwise. The rest of the time the boys, sometimes with you in tow on an off day, migrate to Jimin and Yoongi’s shared flat in Dorm D. They share their space with Jungkook, if Yoongi’s complaints about late-night water-fests were anything to go by, though you’ve never seen him there.
No, ironically, the first time you crossed paths with him was in the lobby of Dorm C — your dorm. You remember he was shifting and wandering around like a lost puppy, his eyes restlessly searching for something or someone. It was him, you knew, because he’s often featured in your shared friend’s Instagram posts, and because he’s very hard to miss.
He was — is big, towering over you easily, and was then dressed all in black. A mix of comfy and effortlessly put together in perfect execution, the rolled-up sleeves of his sweater did nothing to hide the ink covering his veiny forearms. You were instantly thankful — you’ve always been drawn to tattoos. They’re admirable on others and on yourself, and you instantly had to push down the desire to keep marking your body for reasons only pertinent to the feeling of the needle on your skin or the aesthetics of the design. Your poor ass couldn’t afford another so soon, anyway.
The other thing that gave him away was his signature dark hair, long and parted in the middle to fall over his round, soft eyes. It covered his multiple piercings but did nothing to take away from the sweet persona that settled over him. Despite the dark and the goth, he seemed… cute. Very cute, and very confused. The way his eyebrows furrowed at his phone screen just before he searched through the scattered students was a dead giveaway. He was likely lost, but that wasn’t very surprising. For all the time Tae and Joon spend on Dorm D, the same couldn’t be said otherwise. Visits to Dorm C were seldom for the rest.
And a lost Jungkook… wasn’t your problem. A simple look at his boyish features was enough to ignite some sort of weird somersaults in your chest, and you wanted nothing more than to ignore it and run far away. So, you tried.
Blinking away the staring he had thankfully not noticed, you made for your own room as embarrassment coursed through your jittery limbs.
You didn’t make it very far before your plan backfired. You had to go near him to reach the elevator, and it apparently didn’t matter that you were practically hiding inside your bag, your hand rummaging through it for your room cardkey.
“Hey—uh, Y/N right?” you heard, and your body froze.
A look up, and there he was. Jeon Jungkook, calling your name. It was weird hearing your mesh of letters on his tongue, foreign to his palette yet pronounced to perfection. Equally confused as he looked before, and even further more embarrassed (you couldn’t help but think, amongst all the chaos in your mind, that his voice was ridiculously soothing and fitting for his physicality), your throat only let out a very intellectual “huh?”
“Um,” Jungkook’s eyes went wide, his head cocked to the side at your reaction. His feet shifted under him, and you tried ignoring the way his cheeks grew a lovely shade of pink when he spoke again.
“I’m Jungkook, and hyung—Taehyung mentioned you before. He isn’t answering and I’m a bit lost, so I was wondering if you could give me directions? Unless you’re not… Y/N?”
You’re often a recurrent character in Tae’s stories, so it shouldn’t have surprised you he’s spoken of you before. But it did.
“I am Y/N,” you relented, maybe a bit more bitterly than you intended. You couldn’t help but pout at the sudden reminder of Tae’s love for recording you during your most… inopportune moments. “Where is it you want to go?”
The boy in question rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly, a bunny-like smile making a sudden appearance. His teeth seemed to jut out a bit, and his upper lip disappeared almost entirely, but you were sure of one thing instantly: his smile was the prettiest one you’d ever seen.
You felt your chest constrict at the sight without any sense of permission, your ears going up in flames. Clearly, you were bonkers. You continued your walk towards the elevator, praying he’d keep up somewhere a bit farther from you. But he followed without question, easily settling besides you and offering glances from the corner of his eye. You pressed the up button and pretended not to notice, playing around with your cardkey while you both waited.
“To hyung’s dorm — I haven’t ever been there, as strange as it sounds, and I need to borrow some paint.”
“Borrow some paint?” you hummed, the notion seeming somewhat silly to you. “After you’ve used it you can’t return it, so would it really be borrowing?”
You moved to look at him questioningly, curiosity getting the best of you, and the feeling you were hit with was far too paralyzing for you to carry. It was a sudden storm of affection, a wave of currents that spread and tightened, tickling and burning your stomach each second you saw his crinkled eyes, his teeth fully bared into a humorous grin. It made your feet stick to the ground even after the doors of the elevator greeted you open.
“You’re a weird one aren’t you?” he muttered airily, more to himself than anything, before shrugging and prompting you to follow him inside the confined space. “Technically, you’re right, but saying I’m borrowing stuff sounds nicer, doesn’t it? It’s all about semantics. Don’t worry though, hyung lets me take some of his whenever I run out.”
“Okay.”
Neither of you said much after that, but you did take him all the way to Tae’s and Joon’s front door. He thanked you softly before you left, with a smile sincere and gentle in ways you hadn’t expected. You remember nodding along and, possibly, wishing him good luck on his art project, but you weren’t sure by the time you reached your room.
You remember skipping your assignments that night, choosing instead a hot shower and the comforts of your recently cleaned bed. It was the first attempt at forgetting the whole event, a new mission for your mind to complete before a crush settled its anchor.
You were used to six handsome guys. You drew the line at seven.
Meeting Jungkook for the first time was disastrous for the days that followed. Maybe you were being a bit dramatic, but it was rightfully warranted. Your brain had vaguely memorized what he looked like outside of pictures, and now you saw him everywhere. It was the frequency bias all over again, and it had no escape, just like that one time you wanted to dye your hair and suddenly half the population seemed to be dying it that very color. Similarly, interacting with Jungkook meant noticing him in your peripheral when he wasn’t front and center, knowing it was him in the distance. It only worsened when your paths began to regularly cross.
It happened and continuous to happen mostly in the presence of Tae or Joon, or any of Jungkook’s roommates.
Whenever you’d spend some time on the couch with Joon, he was there. Whenever you woke up midday and decide it was high time to cook brunch for three (four then), he was already there. When Yoongi invited you over to hear some of the pieces he’s been working on, Jungkook was miraculously in the apartment. Oh, you wanted to steal some of Tae’s shirts? Jungkook catches you red handed, some stolen paints of his own right in his treacherous hold.
It’s absolutely maddening.
You wouldn’t mind it so much if it weren’t for the fact that each new stare, each new smile, leaves your stomach in complete shambles.
Who could take you back to the time when you hadn’t heard his loud laugh? To when he hadn’t seen you loafing around in your onesie after a killer test and stayed to comfort you? He even called you cute, shared some of his milk and made sure to leave only after he’d seen you smile. Sometimes he’d even notice you watch your documentaries only to pop a random question about space, or even about the science behind Star Trek or Star Wars when “Clearly FTL travel isn’t possible?” (To which you’d answer: “Not yet it isn’t, you non-believer”) before falling quiet and leaving you be. They were small conversations with no more than 3 lines exchanged, but they were more than enough for the butterflies seeping through your ribcage to go on a frenzy.
And despite everything you heard and everything you began to know, Jungkook was possibly the softest, sweetest, and most annoying person you knew. At least superficially.
You still knew nothing personal about him, with your interactions being limited to shared spaces, but you didn’t think much of it until you began to see all kinds of things: his cute habits, his quirks, and even the way his tattoo collection grows.
You’ve silently noticed the way he wiggles his toes when he sits to watch a series, how he blinks a lot when he’s confused. You’ve seen the way he scratches the back of his head when he’s not confident about something, and how his eyes smile before his lips do, and the way his laugh resonates all around the room in the most euphoric melodies. All of this you come to know as unequivocally Jungkook. And you know, you know you’re so whipped for him that you can’t stop being in-tuned with it, with his little things.
But you’re also aware of your situation, and it doesn’t surprise you when your chest starts to hurt over it — over him, because you see his other things: the way each week curls a different girl around his waist, the way his eyes turn cold when he says he doesn’t do relationships, and the way he looks at you.
It’s never with disgust or anything of the sort. It’s just that you’ve seen the way he looks at the girls he fucks with, the girls he finds attractive, the girls he likes for a single night to then discard them.
And he’s never looked at you like that. You suppose that’s good, but... then again, you guess it means you’re nothing. After all, Jeon Jungkook never offers you any hope, he never shows any interest. Technically you’re not even his friend — not really. You’re Taehyung’s other best friend, an outside addition to his usual friend group, and now to his life. You’re okay with that, you have to be. You haven’t sought him out, haven’t done anything to close the gap between you. Water and care is something you never wanted to give your unjustified feelings. You never wanted them to grow, even now.
You just failed to take note of the rain pouring over the earth and pooling beneath your feet, and you don’t notice you’re drowning until you see him at the end of the day.
The girl attached to him is a stranger to you, just like the rest you’ve seen, yet you can’t seem to shake the thought that something must be different. Whatever she has seems to be enough for the tattooed man to shatter his distaste for PDA, at least for the time being.
Your legs hesitate to unceremoniously halt in the middle of the hall. Your eyes battle not to widen and not to stare, for a second desperate to make sure that what you’re seeing is real, that you’re seeing Jungkook kiss for the first time in forever as if you hadn’t known all this time that he fucks and loves behind closed doors.
And it doesn’t matter that the kiss isn’t gentle, that he’s kissing her as if she were the very air he needed to breathe. No, what makes you sick is how he notices, how he sees you, and how he does nothing but pull her closer in response.
You push yourself to move as soon as his eyes drift away again, unwilling to tremble before him and unwilling to make any more mistakes.
Class would have to wait. You needed coffee, even if it meant being late. And you absolutely hate being late to Astrophysics, but you definitely hated seeing him more.
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OC Interview
tagged by @aban-ataashi omg thank you!! i’m gonna post it on this blog bc i’m sure my regular followers don’t give a fuck abt my kids lmao i’m gonna go with danny for this one!! for simplicity’s sake, this is happening post-story
Pick three companions who know your OC/muse well. Answer the questions from at least one of their companions’ points of view. Name the three companions who will be answering here:
Gen - best friend
Eli - boyfriend
Emory - new friend/instigator/patience-tester
Are they ready to be candid with their responses? Don’t worry, this is totally private. Danny will never read it. (as if Emory wouldn’t screenshot everything and send it to him)
1. First Impressions. What was the first impression you had of Danny?
Gen: Well, I met Danny in early middle school. I remember getting paired with him on a project and immediately, there was this sort of unspoken agreement that we had to stick together. We were both kinda nerdy and reserved, especially at that age. Danny was twice everyone’s height at the time so he came off as unintentionally intimidating, which of course worked in my favor as a nerdy kid. And I think Danny was just really craving any sort of positive-leaning relationship, and I could definitely give that to him! I did initially feel a little sorry for him. He did seem pretty lonely. But he really came out of his shell once we started hanging out more. We just sorta clicked, and it was like... “Did we just become friends?” “Yep!” *chuckles*
Eli: *clearly not wanting to answer the question*
Emory: Well, Eli, if you’re not gonna answer, I’ll go. First time I met Danny was at Molotov and he was a sad, drunk, piece of shit. Snarky and sarcastic as all get out. I wanted to deck him so bad. And I did! Many times!
Gen: *slaps forehead and sighs*
Emory: What? The question was first impressions! It’s not like I still feel that way about him. Mostly. Uh...Eli! Your turn!
Eli: *sighs* Is complicated. Next question?
Emory: *nudging him* Noooo, it’s not! First impression is all you gotta say!
Eli: *with desperation* Next question.
2. Danny walks into a bar. No, it’s not a joke - what does he order? If you give him a credit for the jukebox, what kind of music would he put on?
Gen and Emory: *turn to Eli*
Eli: *sighs* He loves his red wine, the bolder ones, not sweet ones. Cabernet Sauvignon, Syrah, Zinfandel, things like that. If he’s actually the one paying, though, he’ll stick to cheap, watered-down beer to save money. If someone else is paying, he’ll ask for top-shelf tequila. Wine is his favorite, though. He seems to be the most happy when he has a glass of red.
Emory: *hums* That’s cute that you pay that close of attention, Eli.
Eli: Torres, I was his bartender for 4 years.
Emory: What about music then, huh? In those four years did he ever do karaoke?
Eli: Dasha has been drunk many time but never enough to karaoke. I think you both know that. Besides, he likes sad, crybaby music. Doesn’t translate well to karaoke...or bars. I’d slap his hand if he changed the music to Goat Mountain or whatever.
3. How does Danny spend a day off from work?
All, in unison: Cooking shows.
Gen: *laughs* He loves his cooking shows! A perfect day for him, if he doesn’t have to think about anything else, is waking up and spending it all day baking and cooking with his shows on in the background.
Emory: And a bottle of wine in hand!
4. What silly superstitions or funny traditions does he observe?
Gen: Hmmm...I wouldn’t say he has any funny traditions and he’s not terribly superstitious, at least not in the compulsive way, but he’s horrified of ghosts...I keep trying to get him to come on ghost hunts with me but he refuses to engage in that stuff.
Emory: *laughs* He’s scared shitless of ghosts. It’s so funny. Remember that time I made it look like La Llorona was outside his window? *laughs hysterically*
Gen: That was you? He wouldn’t shut up about that for weeks! I had to go get him some holy water and sprinkle it around his window so he would go to sleep.
Eli: *stifles a laugh* I remember that. Good one, Torres.
5. What does Danny wear to bed? And just how do you know that?
Gen: *rolls her eyes* He’s so modest, it’s ridiculous. I’ve very rarely ever seen him in his actual pjs. Loungewear, sure. But pjs? It’s a mystery.
Emory: It’s a tanktop and boxers.
Eli: *shoots her a look*
Emory: What? I can’t tell you how many times I’ve walked in on him. You think he’d learn to lock his door.
Eli: Or you could learn to knock.
Emory: *snorts* Yeah right. Couldn’t tell you specifics tho. He always ends up yelling or throwing something at me before I can get a good look. I’m pretty sure his shirt is white, but...
Eli: Blue and white striped boxers. And I think you know exactly why I know this.
6. Your favorite memory of Danny?
Gen: I can’t really say any one memory in particular. Being friends with him for so long, we’ve had so many good times! I just really enjoy when he’s doing well and we can just hang out and not really think anything of it. Like, I’ll do his makeup while he rants about hot food takes, or I’ll cut his hair while he clips Peaches’ nails. I just enjoy being with him.
Eli: Ah...ya, that’s nice. He’s usually very quiet, but if he likes you, he’ll talk your ear off. It really makes you feel special. I think my favorite moment was when he finally apologized to me after all these years, even though I didn’t need one from him. I loved the way he carried himself in that conversation. Felt like I was seeing him as himself for the first time in years.
Emory: *pauses* Yeah, imma go with when I first met him and punched him and he bled so hard he passed out. *laughs* I still can’t get over it.
Gen: *slaps forehead*
Eli: *stifles a laugh*
7. A time you very nearly almost kissed Danny?
Gen: Danny is...*looks to Eli*...surprisingly affectionate, for someone who comes off as so grumpy. *chuckles* He gives me forehead kisses constantly, b-but it’s all very chaste! P-platonic! I promise!
Eli: *laughs* Yes, Gen, I know. He’s very sweet like that, especially with people he loves. He won’t do it in public much, but in private he can be very...liberal...with his kisses.
Emory: Danny accidentally kissed me on my forehead once when I did something nice for him. I think I broke him and he didn’t know what to do. I thought it was funny, but he promised me not to tell E--oh...shit!
8. Vacation time! Where do you take Danny for some R&R?
Gen: Anywhere in the world? Wow, probably Italy. So he could just sit around and eat pasta and drink wine all day. I think he’d be in heaven.
Emory: Yeah, imma mooch off that answer. It’s perfect.
Eli: You probably just don’t have an answer.
Emory: Okay, well, what’s your answer, then?
Eli: ........Italy.
9. Danny’s sense of humor -is it dry, immature, sarcastic, self-deprecating, physical, witty, dark, or…?
All, in unison: Sarcastic
Emory: *continuing* self-deprecating, witty-but-i-refuse-to-admit-it, dry-as-the-devil’s-asshole humor. He truly gets me.
---
thank you so much for the tag omg!!! this was a ton of fun and exactly what i needed to do since my stupid tablet just died haha!!
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Favored Ones, Part 4. (Joel Miller x Fem!reader)
Description: When you spend every evening with someone who's deeply under your skin, a certain relationship can be developed. So it's crushing for Joel when Y/N suddenly disappears. But there's way more to the relationship that one would've guessed.
A/N: I enjoyed myself in this chapter bcs I'm secretly in love with both Ellie and Joel.
A/N 2: Sorry for bigger mistakes than usual, but my Grammarly is acting like a fucking jackass and it fucked up my mood.
Warnings: ELLIE BEING THE QUEER EMOTIONAL SUPPORT YOU FUCKING NEED IN UR LIFE.
Word count: 1.8 K
Tagging: @nemodoren @xxgoldenhour @missdictatorme
If you like this story, please, more parts can be found here! :): H E R E
Two weeks before events of the hunt, November 2038:
You felt like dying for a few days straight, you only laid in your bed, staring into the ceiling, feeling hurt like fuck. You wanted to stop crying, but you couldn't bring yourself to act like the adult you should be.
Dina and Ellie, of course, took notice of your behavior and that you were missing at the dinner table for the last four days. You must've been starving when the two visited you with a plate of goulash with potatoes and deer meat which was crushed to small pieces.
"Foooood delivery!" - Dina stepped into your room dramatically with a laugh, making a diva pose. But then she stopped and her jaw dropped when she saw you laying in bed like a dead body. Your nose was full, sou it was hard to understand you.
"I hant to be ahone. Go ahay." - You cried out and turned on your second side. It still hurt so much and you were afraid that you would meet him if you would find the courage to go out. Dina slowly approached your bed and smoothed your leg. Ellie put your goulash on the table and sat on the chair close to your bed to smooth your hair. At least you took showers because you smell nice and your hair was still soft, not even a bit greasy.
"Baby. You're scaring the shit out of us. Why don't you come to have dinner with us? We miss your jokes and dickness." - Ellie tried to make you laugh, but you just exhaled out loud.
"Yeah. Nobody's keeping Jesse's ego down, so he's a fucking narcissist now. I can't listen to a fucking word he says. He went fucking wild since nobody's taming him down." - Dina took Ellie's side and both of them chuckled. - "Come on, you little shithead. Eat a bit."
And so, you sat up and began to a bit. Dina sat on your right side and Ellie was cuddling to your left side, none of them leaving you before you ate the whole plate. Dina stood up after that, taking the plate out of your palms.
"I will bring it back to the dining hall and I have a meeting with Jesse after that. I think that you'll talk about your problems though, darlings." - She smoothed your hair and kissed your forehead. That made you smile a bit, but even though you were a bit cold and pale. Ellie still snuggled your side, smiling at Dina, mouthing a silent thank you. Dina left without any other word.
"Okay. Spill the tea. What's wrong?" - Ellie laid her head on your lap so you were looking down into her eyes. She smiled as your fingers gently played with her ginger hair.
"I don't want to talk about that, Ellie." - You closed your eyes and leaned the back of your head onto the wall.
"Please, baby, you don't want to talk about something? That ain't you at all." - She smiled and her fingers brushed on yours. Ellie was always gentle with you because you were her first friend in Jackson County. She loved you like her step-sister, she knew she can be who she really is when she had you around - that one nineteen-year-lesbian with the cheesiest jokes you had ever heard. And that was why you were terrified to tell her.
Joel was basically her dead.
"It's pretty personal for me. It hurts. I'm not ready." - You whispered to her and felt as your eyes were in flames from constant crying. You couldn't even cry anymore, you barely went on a toilet to pee and your head was hurting like fuck.
"Y/N, trust me. We can talk about your situation." - Ellie sat quickly and smiled at you. She gently held your palm in hers and her green eyes made eye contact with yours. She was a gentle and dumb lesbian. You loved her. Ellie was always honest and nice to you - like your little personal angel. - "So start talking before I'll smack it out of your stupid ass."
Maybe it would help to tell her, she could help you with the situation. She could give some good reasoning, some tips, and tricks or just tell you that you're a dumb bitch. Anything would be great at the moment.
"Well-I-told-your-old-man-what-I-was-feeling-for-him-and-he-turned-me-down." - You said at the pace of the fastest animal on the planet, so Ellie rose her eyebrows as she watched you. She knew perfectly what you've said, but she wanted to hear it again.
"What have you done?" - She held your palm tighter and her palm was a bit sweaty. What the fuck should she tell you? Holy fuck, she was fucking panicking.
"I found out I had feelings for Joel and I told him... And he told me he doesn't do these things. He just blatantly turned everything down and I... Just can't." - You started to cry again even if you felt like your eyes were on fire. That could be understood, you were heartbroken for the first time - not like the first time ever, but this felt so real for the first time ever.
"Oh, baby girl. Come here, come on..." - Ellie whispered with a sad voice and she didn't have to repeat herself since you basically threw your head into her left boob. She cuddled you in and kissed the temple of your head. She nor your other friends would've guessed that you maybe felt for that old jackass. It was an unpleasant surprise - not like they would not happy if you two ended up together, but Ellie knew Joel.
He was a tough nut to crack
And she was partially stressed. What should she do to help you? She brought your head to her lips once again.
"Okay. I'll tell you something too..." - She smiled and let you sit, drying your tears off your cheeks. - "It's extremely cringy as well, so I hope that I'll make you laugh at least a bit." - She shrugged her shoulders so you knew that she'll be extremely uncomfortable during your conversation. Ellie was always shrugging when she wasn't comfortable. You tried to smile, but in combination with your teary eyes, it made an extremely cringe-worthy face.
"I fell in love with Dina." - Ellie sighed. From moment to moment, you forgot that Joel said that he simply doesn't do those things. Holy fucking shit. You were really aware of Ellie being a lesbian, and Dina was a really nice girl, but some plot twists were just random and unexpected. - "It's crazy, but it happened some time ago and since that, I'm just crazy about that girl. She says something and I need to breathe out because I would jump her bones right on the spot."
You opened up your eyes and your lips parted when you tried to understand the situation. But it was somehow impossible and your brain was not comprehending with your mind at all. Ellie and Dina.
Okay. You somehow got over Dina and Jesse over time, even if it was strange to see the two people you knew since they were little kids to grow into two human beings who were able to have a grown-up relationship. Strange and surreal.
But Dina and Ellie? No. Stop yourself. It wasn't a sure thing. But still... Ellie having feelings for Dina, that was fucking will and beyond your wildest dreams. It was enough to make you completely forget about Joel.
Dina and Ellie.
"Oh, my dear motherfucking God." - You whispered and Ellie shrugged again. But then she smiled, rose her eyebrows and smiled without any other words to say.
"See? That's the Y/N I know. Oh my dear motherfucking God indeed." - Ellie sat next to you and leaned into the wall, looking in front of herself. - "I love to see you smiling again. My lovely heterosexual wife, who's clearly into gross old men." - Ellie nudged your shoulder playfully. You opened your mouth and started to squeal by laughter.
"Sorry not sorry, but Joel is a fucking sex bomb." - You sighed and leaned your temple into her shoulder.
"So I think that you agree that we need a fucking plan." - Ellie gave you a completely serious look. - "Because I need to tell Dina and you need to show that old dipshit what he's losing. We don't know if you'll be able to make a move, but we need to show him. Kick his ass, show him."
"So the plan is to make Dina fucking break up with Jesse and that you'll have sex that night, but nobody's caring about me or my vanana? I'm fucking touched." - You sighed dramatically even though you still had teary eyes. Your broken heart still hurt, but Ellie's trouble made you at least smile and joke around.
"I'm thinking about your vanana as much as I think about your heart, dear. What about Philip? He's nice, young and he likes you." - She asked completely serious. Okay, she and Joel were a complete match like father and daughter.
"Philip? Really? You and Joel are one person in two bodies. He thought that I'm after Philip as well. I'm not into the fisherman's son at all, no matter how many girls are into him." - You stood up and decided to change clothes. You needed to get off that one small room. At least on a small walk.
"But what if you were?" - Ellie screamed and stood up, her brain almost exploding with sudden inspiration. She took your naked shoulders while you stood in front her only in your bra. - "That is the fucking question. What if you were?"
"You are a fucking psycho, Ellie." - You put her hands off your shoulders, so you could put on at least your sweater on.
"No, you fucking idiot. Listen to a word I'm saying." - Ellie sat on your table while you changed into your jeans. - "Old man thinks that you're into Philip. But you told him that you're into him. So we'll play a little mind game." - Ellie started to giggle as playfully swung her feet.
"A mind game. With Joel fucking Miller? You're a fucking savage." - You chuckled, putting your hiking boots on. You felt much, much better.
"Missy, you don't know Joel Miller the way I do. I will make him come and you'll dance with Philip. Make Joel feel what an ass he had lost by his dickish behavior." - She laughed loudly and waited for you to come after her into the cold night.
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so, amnesia trope....which charmed one would you do it with & how would you do it (if you want, i just like this trope)
hmmm that’s a really good question idk why but my gut really says to go with phoebe. she was first to the craft and the one that really pushed prue & piper to move forward in their destiny, so to have that all be wiped would be interesting to say the least. furthermore, with her psychic powers, i feel like that leaves a lot of room for “echos” like feelings of deja vu or the sense that you should be remembering something but you can’t remember what you’re remembering.
i feel like i would put this line after season 4 / beginning of season 5 in an au where cole doesn’t come back but phoebe is still haunted by his memory. i think her emotional stress and ptsd from that relationship would then cause a block in her powers bc as well all know your powers are tied to your emotions so phoebe might start looking into a way to fix that. personally, i feel like it’s never a good move to have the character move forward with these actions to the extent that they end up damaging themselves bc while i think it is a complex journey it very often comes across as unrelatable and leads to people holding grudges against said character bc it looks like they placed their own well being over the well being of their family and those they swore to protect. so what i would do is have phoebe go through multiple processes trying to cure herself: crystals, meditation, essential oils, talk therapy, etc. but she still has this block. shit really becomes an issue when a power of three spell almost doesn’t work. piper, phoebe, paige, & leo all have to sit down and discuss what’s happening bc phoebe’s troubles seem to only be getting worse and it’s now directly impacting the power of three. they need to find something fast bc it’s getting dangerous and phoebe starts crying bc she’s doing everything she can and she doesn’t know how to move forward so everyones looking at leo like okay whitelighter this has to have happened to some witch before phoebe what do we do and leo’s like well idk there’s one thing we could do but it’s incredibly dangerous and we should really only use it as a last resort and piper’s like well i think we’ve hit that last resort stage and leo’s like it’s a spirit journey and again it’s really dangerous and i’m not sure this rewards outweigh the risk and phoebe’s like leo my problems are more than just my problems now they’re stopping us from saving innocents whatever it is i’ll do it i have to do it. so leo’s like okay alright i guess were doing this
so they hole up phoebe in her room and phoebe calls elise saying she's going on a vacation for her mental health (which elise fully supports) bc they asked leo how much time this’ll take and leo has genuinely no idea bc it’s not a common practice and it really depends on phoebe so piper whips up the potion and paige lines phoebe’s room with protection spells and they offer all their love & support and phoebe goes under
the next couple episodes are split between piper & paige fighting their real world battles and phoebe’s adventures through the spirit world. piper & paige get more and more anxious bc phoebe’s been under for like three weeks and piper & paige are talking to leo like is it supposed to take this long can we pull her out what if she never wakes up and leos like i wish i had the answer to these questions but i deadass do not i don’t know what’s going on in there i don’t know how she’s doing meanwhile i feel like phoebe’s walking through memories changing her actions go through ripple effects walking through alternate universe maybe in an alternate universe she never met cole and prue’s still alive in an alternate universe she had telekinesis in an alternate universe she stay evil and killed her sisters and she keeps living out different scenarios and seeing different sides of herself and she’s exhausted and scared and
she wakes up in the middle of the night bolts upright in her bed lightly coated in sweat. she trods outside her her room and is just like confused so she goes down the hallway and knocks on the door and paige opens it like you’re awake!!! and pulls her into a big hug and phoebe starts squirming and yelling (but not judo flipping paige or anything like the pre amnesia phoebe would be able to) and she’s like who the fuck are you what are you doing in piper’s room!!!!! and the yelling alerts piper and leo and come running out of their room like you’re awake!! and phoebe immediate rushes to piper’s side like What Is Going On Who Are These People Where’s Prue? and piper’s like prue??? and phoebe’s like Yes Our Sister Prue Where Is She and piper’s like phoebe... whats the last thing you remember? and phoebe’s like New York... i came back and she looks at piper with like absolute sorrow in her eyes and is like grams... and piper’s lookin at piper and leo like holy fuckin shit the last thing she remembers is the pilot episode and she’s like phoebe sweetie i need you to sit down and just give me a second and phoebe’s like completely shell shocked so she does and piper’s like the last thing she remembers is coming back from new york; she doesn’t know who you are she doesn’t know who you are, she doesn’t know prue’s dead, i don’t even think she knows she’s a witch and paige is like okay what do we do and piper’s like i don’t know and they’re looking at leo like ?? and leo’s like i don’t know either i mean we have to tell her and by we i do mean piper as she’s the only one phoebe recognizes and piper’s like oh yeah sure hi sweetie you don’t remember this but you’re a witch your sister’s dead i’m married paige over there is our half sister mom had an affair while i’m at it dad’s back in our lives oh and also a couple months ago you were queen of hell! is there anything i’m missing?? and leo’s like just,, talk to her slowly,, treat it very gentle and piper’s like yeah Not My Forte but she goes to phoebe and holds her hands like i don’t know how to tell you this but your last memory is from 1998 and phoebe’s like ,,,, what year is it now? and piper’s like 2002 and phoebe’s lower lip starts trembling and she’s like how did this happen and piper’s like i promise i’ll explain everything but right now i think it’s best that you get some rest. i’ll see you in the morning and she kisses phoebe on the forehead and sends her back to bed and piper paige & leo all head up to the attic to try to draft up some game plan on how to get their phoebe back
so over the next couple of weeks they like try to really gently bring phoebe up to speed the first thing they really have to get out of the way is Phoebe You’re A Witch which is a shock y’know magic being real but phoebe rolls with it about as well as she did in the pilot. the next is prue’s gone, which phoebe has sorta pieced together but was still Not Ready to hear. i think this whole era would also be a really great opportunity to build up paige & phoebe’s relationship bc the show really dropped the ball on that one. i think they would both really lean on each other and grow bc a young phoebe was very much like a young paige and phoebe’s still quasi young phoebe but like paige is like this is advice you gave me a phoebe’s like me?? giving out advice??? and paige is like yeah believe it or not you’re actually an advice columnist i also think phoebe would spend a lot of times flipping through photo albums and reading her old columns and trying to understand who she was / is. i also think she would push piper to open her restaurant after seeing p3 bc she’s be like piper this is amazing but this isn’t your dream. you always wanted to be a chef. and piper admittedly had almost forgotten that she had put that dream on hold but phoebe bringing it back up would really stoke that fire again and make her want to open up her own restaurant.
i think phoebe’s first major relapse would be when she was flipping through the book and found her entry on cole’s human form which has pictures of her and this man and it’s all written in her handwriting and she gets this horrible know it her stomach and then a premonition containing the highlights reel of her and cole’s relationship and she breaks down. and piper paige & leo all find her an absolute mess and she’s like were you going to tell me??? were you going to tell me everything i did????? and she goes through this horrible era of feeling responsible for prue’s death and all the evil cole did and piper and paige really have to help pull her out of that at this point i think we also bring in coop who really helps her start to heal her heart and i think the whole journey to get Back To Phoebe wouldn’t be an easy one but the drama driven by this could very easily take up the space occupied by piper & leo’s relationship drama which i personally have never been too keen on. i think this could be the driving plot of s5 and then s6 could be piper’s pregnancy & wyatt s7 could be be chris and the future plotline which i think phoebe would be a lot more attune to as that could have been one of the realities she lived through on her spirit journey and then s8 would be the final season idk i wouldn’t want to use zankou or the avatars or billie & christy but y’know something good and have it stick the landing like it did in the og
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Sonamy Week 2 - Dear Diary
Day 1 -
We just entered the dimensional portal and met up with all our older and alternate universe selves.
Mine is kinda cute, but she needs to try more. That’s just my opinion. Teehee! ^////^
Sonic and the older Sonic raced away to fight Eggman, I hope they’ll be okay... When they got back, I was so excited!!! I jumped really, really high many times to try and see them over the hill.
Sonic ducked through my leaps towards him but I caught him at a wall so he got his ‘Welcome back!’ hug. ;)
Then... I heard a weird conversation between my older, alternate universe self and older, alternate Sonic...
-------
“I just don’t remember you ever being that mean to me!” Amy held her arms tightly around her, looking away as Sonic nervously scratched the back of his head.
“M-mean?” He seemed secretly hurt by that phrasing but didn’t say anything more.
“I guess... after all these years, I only remember the good parts about our past. I never realized how much you tried to dodge me or even push me away...”
Classic Amy was hunched under a stand that was at the corner of the outside wall. Her heart sank and her eyes watered at hearing her older self say something like that...
They were there to stop Eggman... not stop her love story.
“I-... I’m sure this is all a big misunderstanding, Amy.” Sonic tried to counter, but Amy just bent her eyebrows back and looked sorrowfully down to the ground.
“Hey...” she cut him off a little, jolting him back from her obvious ignorance of his last line. “Was there ever a time you really enjoyed being with me?”
“What kind of question is that?” Losing a bit of his temper, Sonic defiantly stepped back and side-stepped her. “How could you ask me something like that?”
“... Was it a loaded question?”
He folded his arms and huffed, “It’s a ridiculous question! Of course, I’ve had fun with you! We’re friends, Amy!” he spoke pretty animatedly with his hands, unfolding them to gesture around his jittery responses.
It was clear he was uncomfortable, so Amy just pouted and placed her hands confidently to her hips, striking a spirited pose.
“Fine, then. I’ll see it as boyish arrogance.” she puffed up the side of her cheek in the last fumes of her anger before popping it out with a sound as though that’s how she was letting it go. “Just maybe talk to your younger self about it. Encourage him to be more... understanding of my feelings.”
“...E...Eh?” Sonic once again seemed out of his comfort zone, not sure how to go about that, and not really sure he should be interfering with how his younger self acted. “It’s just their past, Amy. Can’t we... just drop it?”
“AH!” Both Amy’s gasped in offense, but Classic Amy quickly covered her gaping mouth outside.
Sonic retreated with a few steps back, and with each step, another bit of his hope at somehow overcoming this topic was crushed and hammered out.
“You can be so insensitive, sometimes!”
He sighed before the two heard some rustling and a few sobs.
“What was that?” Sonic asked, moving over to the door and looking out.
He watched as Classic Amy raced around the corner.
“Oh no...” He facepalmed himself, ‘Amy’s gonna kill me if she finds out her younger self heard all that...’
“What’s wrong?” Amy waited patiently within the room, and Sonic had a to look back and make a speedy decision.
“Uhh... We may have had a slight eavesdropper...” He awkwardly sweatdropped, figuring honesty was better than having her find out some other way.
“An eavesdropper? It couldn’t be...” she worriedly put her finger up to her mouth, clearly about the freak out when Sonic waved his hands out to try and settle her shivering nerves.
“Don’t worry, Amy! I’ll talk to her. I think that might be best at this point.” Sonic lowered his head in a bit of humility, ‘How could that ever be easier than just telling myself to be less obvious?’
He raced out after seeing Amy nod uncontrollably at his idea, noticing her break down might happen at any moment. He caught up to Classic Amy easily, skidding to a halt behind her.
“Wait up, Little Amy!” he smiled warmly but noticed her whole face was fearful, teary-eyed, and full of confusion.
“...Oh man.” He felt his heart take an escalator slowly up to his throat.
She slowly turned around, “W-why... Why are you so mean to me?”
The escalator had a hitch in its momentum and suddenly the icky-ucky feeling in his gut decided to take the elevator.
“I’m... I’m not mean to you...” He slowly fell to a knee, crumbling at how sweetly innocent her voice sounded. ‘Man, I remember this age.’ he thought to himself, the nostalgia getting to him. “I care an awful lot about your wellbeing.” He tried to remember she was a child, speaking in plain terms, but it still felt a little awkward.
He had memories of her overly affectionate outbreaks of kisses and hugs, and the reflex to flinch back almost triggered at just the thought of them!
He shook his head, “Sometimes,... Amy.... I’m not good with showing how I really feel.”
“...Could you write it down?” She raised an eyebrow, seeking desperately for understanding.
Now he felt both the stomach and his heart fighting for space in his throat.
He had to clear it, sending them all straight back down where they belonged. “Gee, I don’t know about that but... you can always try.”
Her face suddenly lit up with an idea then. She rubbed the tears off her eyes, and nodded. “I’ll make you one then!”
“H-huh? Make me one wha-Hey!” he reached out for her when she dashed off. “J-... Just don’t tell Amy! Or give younger me a hard time about this..! ...Oh boy.” he worried what his younger self would think, but at least it was out of his hands now.
-----
Day 3 - I’ve completed my project!
I placed my ‘Book of What Makes Me Happy’ under Sonic’s arm today. Older Sonic had said that maybe writing it down would be best, and I think so too!
I’ve recorded what I said in this book too, just so I remember what I did!
The first page is a drawing with me on it, saying --- “This is what makes me happy!” then the other pages go as follows, 1. Spending time with Sonic and his friends. 2. Going on adventures with Sonic and his friends. 3. Eating together with Sonic and his friends. 4. What makes me most happiest is when I’m with Sonic!
I contemplating drawing a wedding at the end, but I ran out of paper. :’( It’s okay though, I drew us looking out at the sunset.
While I was drawing, I tried to hide my pictures from Sonic. He had come back with his older self and tried to peek over and see what I was doing at the table.
I was really careful not to show him! >:Y I didn’t want him to ruin the surprise! But then he did something I won’t forget...
He sat down next to me and drew us drawing together, with big smiles on our faces, and laughing with one another...
Aww, it was so cute! I had to put it in The Book of What Makes Me Happy. I just had too! So the last page was his picture, which I asked if I could keep.
He didn’t write on it, but I was excited he let me keep it.
Day 4 -
Sonic’s acting weird around me... He must have seen my book, why didn’t he want to talk about it?
I put on the final page to write me a book of his happiness, so that way, I would know what made him happy too. Smart, right? :Db
Well, he’s being a jerk again! >Bc Hmph! He kept avoiding me all day and hiding something behind his back. I even threw my hammer in a tantrum, but instead of rushing over to comfort me, he sped off again! That was mean!
Older Sonic just laughed and called me a Rascal... that also hurt my feelings... but older me said he meant it in a loving way...
I don’t see it, but I trusted her anyway when he looked back and gave me a wink. That made me happy again! *//nwn//* Older Sonic is so handsome! Getting a wink from him made my day, heehee!~
Day 6 -
Sonic spoke to me again, he quickly said -- “Here! Have this!” I was so shocked but he smashed a poorly-shuffled book at me and ran.
Its cover was cardboard with the words, ‘What Makes Me Happy - Amy’s Eyes Only.’ Then a picture of himself with angry eyes. I guess that means its my response, right?
I was so excited, I just rushed to my room and closed the door right away! I didn’t know what to expect, but I’m glad I got to read it...
His book had pictures just like mine! One was him sleeping in a tree, and he wrote--well, scribbled--”What Makes Me Happy is being alone in nature.” That made me frown because it contradicted what I had said.
The next page had, “2. Fighting Robotnik and Robots!” and had him crashing into and sticking his tongue out at a badnik. It made me giggle, hehe! But I was still sad it didn’t have me in it...
“3. Watching sunsets...” This one broke my heart, he was watching the sunset alone! And he drew it just like I had! But cut me out of the picture! I was about ready to thrown down the book, but noticed there was a sliver of paper still attached to the ringlets around the book.
I turned the page and low and behold! It was a picture of all our friends! And there was a cut out section where Sonic was still watching the sunset, but now Tails, Knuckles, and even I was there! It read above it, “...Even with my friends!”
That made me very, very happy! But I noticed there was still one piece of paper left.
I flipped it over and it had me hugging Sonic on it. He drew hearts all over where I was but he put a swiggly line as his nervous smile. Aww, how cute! He’s so shy~
That one was my favorite, he wrote, “And lastly, you make me happy too.”
That was it! I was gonna marry him and no one could tell me otherwise! Hehe!!! <3 <3 <3 xoxxxxo
-----
Sonic was strolling with Classic Amy up on top of his head, playing keep-away with his younger self as he tried to take her back from him.
“You’ll never see her again! Whaha!” Sonic was clearly playing with them, but even Classic Tails joined in the fun, though it took some effort to get Classic Knuckles to see it as a game.
When Classic Sonic finally saved Classic Amy, Sonic let him have her and watched him take off with Tails and Knuckles, all heading back to the portal.
“Aww, that was sweet.” Amy approached Sonic, looking lovestruck at seeing how good he was with ‘kids’.
Sonic just chuckled, “Yeah, well... I thought a lot about what you said.”
“Really? That’s new.” Amy teased, but Sonic just rolled his eyes.
“Heh... Anyway, I wanted him to value his friendship with her. So by playing keep-away, I think I resparked that old flame.”
“...Old flame?” Amy’s eyes blinked in delight, leaning towards his eyeline and stepping in front of her. Her hands were behind her back as she swayed her body back and forth a moment. “Whatever do you mean by that, my darling Sonic~?”
“H-huh?” He head meant helping his younger self remember how much Amy meant to him, but not like this! “W-wa-wait a second! Hold on, Amy! You might have the wrong idea!”
“Oh, I think I got the right idea... hehe~ Now time to convince you it is!” she jumped at him, mimicking her younger years of flirting with him as Sonic quickly escaped her arms and began to move back, shaking his head and hands that he placed out in front of him.
“R-Really, Amy! It’s not what you think!”
“What was that? I can’t hear your sweet nothings from all the way over there~”
“Q-quit that, Amy! We’re not kids anymore! Yikes!” he took off but Amy was right on his heels!
(I’m trying to get these sonamy week prompts out on time. I hope this works ^^; )
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