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ilikekidsshows · 4 months

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hey I figure that you’re probably tired of talking about the Sentimonster nonsense but I genuinely still can’t stand that it’s an actual thing. The wildest thing about it is that I JOINED the fandom because of the Sentimonster theory, actually got excited for it and looked forward to hints, not believing the skeptics or the salters bc it didn’t seem like such a big deal—that is until I saw with my own eyes how SO MANY FANS said with their whole chest that, in “Ephemeral” Adrien HAD to be a Sentimonster or there was no other “sympathetic explanation” for why he didn’t de-akumatize himself or fight off Gabriel.

Seeing the victim blaming in real time was such a punch in the gut—and then they just kept on coming!! It finally hit me how damaging the entire thing because for the show as a whole. If even regular fans that weren’t even known for salting could so willingly disregard and ignore genuine abuse coping mechanisms in favor of magical BS… it was such a dark time. Abuse Apologism and victim blaming in a whole package

Sometimes, when I write about Miraculous, I pretend I'm writing about a show that only had three seasons. That's what the "zagulous fandom" tag is for; it's for posts that are about the parts of Miraculous that had Zag's executive control keeping Astruc in check. I also kinda accepted long ago that my blog's kind of a support blog for people who are against the Sentihuman concept.

When I first heard of the expanded Sentimonster theory, the one that went "all the rich kids are Sentimonsters", I instantly went: "You do realize how making victims of child abuse nonhumans with questionable rights minimizes their victimhood and excuses their abusers, right?" people told me I was making stuff up and whoopsie doo, the writers did exactly that.

Neither Gabriel nor Tomoe faced any consequences for abusing Adrien and Kagami because, after all, since they're Sentimonsters, the real abuse was that they didn't have their Amoks so giving them their Amoks resolves all their problems. The only abusive parent who gets acknowledged as such is Félix's dad, who is dead by the time we hear about any of this, because we can't have abusive parents face consequences for their actions because that might upset people or whatever excuses Astruc's giving for Gabriel's vindication now.

This also minimises all the affects of the abuse on the kids, since they can be handwaved away with: "They were just programmed that way." Kagami's bad social skills aren't because her mother isolated her, it's because she forgot to program Kagami with those skills. Félix's villainous behavior isn't because his mother is overly permissive with him, he was just programmed that way (by the eeeeevil Colt). Adrien isn't a people pleaser because he's repeating his abuse coping mechanisms with his overly controlling girlfriend to keep her happy the same way he did to his overly controlling father, he was just programmed to be the perfect doting son and boyfriend.

You'll notice how neatly this ties into the crew denying that Chloé was abused in any way ever by her clearly abusive mother. Chloé wasn't made into a Sentimonster, so we can't have her bad coping with her abuse be excused by "Sentimonster programming", so now the writers are just gaslighting the audience and saying: "Chloé wasn't mistreated by her parents which caused her to act to out to get attention (which she literally stated to be her motive in season 3), in fact, she's the one who's been terrorizing her poor, innocent father and he needs to be protected from this naturally occuring evil hellspawn."

All child abuse in this show gets excused.

Of course, now the writers have an added reason to make sure Adrien's abuse gets excused in particular: because they made Marinette benefit from it. As I said, Adrien is repeating abuse coping mechanisms learned from dealing with his father to keep Marinette happy. He's always prioritizing her feelings and never brings up his own problems, and this is good for Marinette, because she can just enjoy having a perfect boyfriend who caters to her every need and doesn't have problems of his own or with the ways she treats him (for all she knows). She's even maintaining this status quo by lying about Gabriel to Adrien, so Adrien won't get upset (and have emotional needs that she would need to help him with). Either we have to excuse Adrien's abuse, or we have to admit Marinette is benefitting from the fact that Adrien was abused, and even taking advantage with the way she makes no effort to improve their communication on her end, preferring to spy on Adrien and lie to him instead of just talking to him like an equal.

The show writers are also allergic to following through on their creative decisions, is what I think. They put all these different victims of child abuse and neglect in the show, and then dehumanized these children in different ways so that they wouldn't actually need to say anything about that abuse they wrote in and they can instead pretend it was never there. This is why I also think that, no matter how much the show's defenders insist the story isn't over yet, we will never be getting a proper resolution to the Sentinonsense.

#ml critical #ml salt #sentimonster salt #ml writers critical

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munamania · 3 months

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ok um i am going to vent on something as someone with an outside perspective and people are going to be normal about that right. okay lol. im sick of hearing about taylor swift <3 as compared to a few years ago even she is like... suffocating. and i feel like we never advance this conversation because on one hand we have people who swing into full misogyny when talking about her, and on the other we have people who won't admit that she blatantly uses feminism to deflect from her problematic behaviors, or at least they won't like, do anything about it, and in this way she sort of ends up misleading a lot of young girls into like. girlboss liberal white feminism. im not saying shes a supervillain for it but you can't deny the ramifications of what she does and doesn't speak up about, just given the absolutely massive platform she has. she is the biggest pop star in the world

for the record, i don't expect taylor to be like. a normal person. she was very famous from a very young age and people aren't normal about teen/adolescent stars, especially when they're girls and women. she had her personal drama aired out in front of the world, had so much misogynistic dialogue surrounding her, from demeaning her success to interrogating her dating life (and never holding the pedos who preyed on her at a young age to any sort of standard!) and for many years people weren't very critical of that. it was normalized to be trashing this young girl's name and saying vile shit about her to like the entire nation and i dont blame her for being like, a little off after that. and yeah i also don’t think we should look to celebrities as our end all be all of activism and opinions on sociopolitical issues

but we've gone full swing into like. she is so famous and so big that her actions can be harmful and she does these things anyway because she doesn't expect her fanbase to hold her accountable, lest they be acting like the very sexists who tried to ruin her career. at least i imagine that's what the thought process is like, at least at some level, but at this point it's just like. this woman makes so much money. so much money it's ridiculous. idk how y'all fathomed paying so much for concert tickets but like i'll give props that they at least seemed to have some insane production/theatrics... so like alright. there's that.

but she is reselling the same songs. sometimes that don't sound that good. and making more money off that. yes yes to 'officially own them' and whatever. and releasing vault tracks and other versions of albums with different songs on them. but never all the same bc u need to collect them all. and the thing is some of them are like kinda bad. but you listen to them anyway because we live in a time of overconsumption/consumerism in late capitalism and it's like trendy and fun to be able to tell what song of hers is playing in the first millisecond. sorry or just your personal attachment to her. and don't say it's embarrassing to be a taylor swift fan these days she's like. so huge. and some of you equate embarrassment with having to hear criticism toward her. which might not be as common if swifties idk stepped it up and actually expected something from her?

which i guess is getting me to my main point here. can you imagine like. what would happen if taylor swift actually said anything about palestine? or anything of value in the world right now? no one's asking her to be a fucking scholar on it but genuinely sorry there’s like a genocide. several. the most documented real time genocide of our time i don’t care if it makes you upset that people expect something from her. she is time's person of the year. she has everyone from young girls to lesbians to gay men to bored football wives to dads to well fucking etc you get the point tuned in. she has dabbled in so many different spaces done so many collaborations aligned herself with so many entities who can keep up? if she, as massive as she is right now, posted something as simple as 'free palestine' or called for a ceasefire, can you imagine what would happen? i can’t help but think about it when day in and day out my feed is filled with screaming people being pulled from rubble or having their limbs amputated.

but she won't, because, quite frankly, what does she have to gain from it? she’s teaming up with the nfl right now to make some more money, she's gotta have at least like 4 new albums recorded in the last two years and at least um what three more that you're expecting? and she doesn't even have to like? write new music really? (edit: oh boy!) why the fuck would she be doing anything with her time other than poisoning the planet with jet fuel to visit her pr boyfriend?

taylor swift is never gonna be punk or what the hell ever beyond like a white liberal-at-best moderate woman. but if any of you could talk to each other and talk about, like, organizing in ways that it would be impossible for her to continue to ignore these situations, and just keep playing her tour FILM (how could i forget) in israel and etc, like if you could flood her socials or do a mass movement (and it would be massive given the sheer amount of peoples' top artists she's in) of not listening/buying/interacting with her stuff, until her agents and whatever had to make some sort of statement? like that's the only chance we've got with her

i'm not saying don’t be her fan, or listen to her music, or have an attachment, etc, but she's been around enough vile, anti-feminist, racist things this past year that y'all DO need to hold her accountable. like way more than you do. or it's going to be like really difficult to. tolerate it. haha. like you SHOULD be vocally and loudly disapproving of her actions when it causes a lot of damage overall. speaking up about her insane climate irresponsibility when we're having the hottest years on record is not the same as the people who felt the need to like pick apart her dating life on the news. but can we talk about how she's officially like. circled back and now is purposefully making news about her dating life? for her personal gain and that of the fucking nfl? lol. in a way it is funny for her to ‘take that power back’ in a way, of her image, and i think that’s how some people might view it, but like on the other hand she obviously is gaining a lot from this. you know. a lot of actual money. she is going to profit off this image of her being misunderstood etc for as long as u guys allow it and well i just think that has run its course. yk

continuing into 2024 (edit: and now with the release of a new album!) i don't want to see swifties automatically exonerating themselves from difficult conversations because like they feel like their fave has faced enough unwarranted criticism. or bc other people should also be criticized. much of it is warranted! and you guys need to grow up and be able to talk about it and stop painting taylor swift's face as like the Pinnacle of feminism. she doesn't and shouldn't have to be, and she isn't, and she should in fact be held accountable when she does really fucking shitty things on account of they're shitty! i don't care that she's a woman! it's like that meme of oh yay a woman democrat sent these missiles. oh yay a woman is massively damaging the planet and proudly dated a violent misogynistic racist, and faced minimum criticism for these things over and over because your only comeback is ‘well what about’ if a man did the same thing, etc, you refuse to just look at the situation we do have. yes we should. we should do that we should hold men accountable but you can also like not accept awful fucking behavior from your faves when you have a chance. do you think that’s helping feminism genuinely. use your voice use your power (your money) to like. do something for once. i cannot keep living in the taylor swift echo chamber.

and for the record. i like enjoyed taylor like back when i was a young girl and she had a few songs on the radio, and i honestly even had a moment where i used guys' opinions on her as a first step to navigate who i felt safe around in a very hypermasculine sexist college space. because yes. some people do need feminism 101 and some people's genuinely misogynistic rage will be demonstrated in their hatred of taylor and her success. but at some point we gotta move on from that. if some people will look at the most powerful woman in the world, who has enough money to stay away from them and an extremely massive loyal fanbase watching and supporting her every move - if some men take out their hatred on her, a powerful white woman, how do you think they view and treat women who are not white, thin, "conventionally"/eurocentrically attractive, or accessible to cis/het audiences?

anyway i hope that i can bring a conversation to the swiftieverse cause i honestly believe u guys could have comparable impact to like. bts stans. maybe. if you put your minds together for a good cause. and we don’t have to do the oppression olympics or whataboutisms or WHATEVER for forever. can we please move the conversation forward does anyone else feel insane with like where we’re at

on that note, i really do think now is the perfect moment for you to disrupt shit with your voices and demand better from her. it might not save the world, but it could make a huge difference in changing peoples' minds

okay um. thanks 👍

tldr i can’t do another year of swiftie discourse i just can’t please if there is a god out there help us

#abby talks #well here’s a draft that i guess is relevant #taylor swift #swifties #swiftie #midnights #1989 #folklore #evermore #taylor’s version #travis kelce #long post #ok swiftie mutuals u better have my back here 😇👍

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billyjoecobra · 3 months

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JOSEPH JOESTAR CHARACTER ANALYSIS (1)

I never see anyone talk or analyze Joseph very often in the fandom, which is tragic because i believe he's very complex!! So here's some thoughts to chew on, rattle around in your head a bit. It's all under the cut, and it is LONG AS HELL because i have a LOT to say on him!!! Warning though, it's not super properly punctuated as these are discord rambles of mine, but -- enjoy nonetheless!!

i think it's super interesting to note how every time someone puts joseph down, or does something shitty to him, he just doesn't care. not a single bit. he even says it's fine, maybe even deserved sometimes. he assumes people always thinks the worst of him, and yet doesn't really care aside from the one time he dressed in drag and got insulted about it. even then he was just kind of, "man. i looked hot though.." however every time someone even remotely upsets his friends or hurts those who don't deserve it or his family he goes. ABSOLUTELY APESHIT. he will get SO fighty.

he will immediately throw hands and hurt you physically without thinking about it he likes to put assholes in their place sometimes (i.e. the taxi driver, the nazis who insulted him. and any nazi really ) but that is different than really caring about what they say to him. i think he has a very strong moral code, though people tend to see him as quite dubious because of his loud and obnoxious behavior every consequence to his actions, he only worries what others close to him will think and he can easily be driven to a blind rage revenge if you dare to hurt his family in any way. because you DONT fuck with his family. family is the no. 1 thing he cares about

beating up racist cops? he only feels bad because he doesn't want to stress out erina with the thought of bailing him out. told speedwagon is dead? he's upset, but he keeps his cool and throws a punch at the guy for upsetting erina, and worries more about her comfort than his own. guys hijacking a plane and holding him hostage? he couldnt care less if he was the hostage, he only cared enough to stop it because it might risk getting speedwagon hurt. and it goes on

and for the sake of his family he keeps purposefully trying to risk himself to death repeatedly. when fighting kars lets not forget when he shot kars into space and his thoughts were about how he was ok with dying if it meant his family was safe i think . and i said this before this is just me getting my thoughts out way more eloquently with points i've already touched on before. but.

in a non emo way, it's really hit me how he isn't like. beat up about it. about assuming ppl always think the worst of him. he cares way more about others than himself type of guy thats like similar to "they're friendly but after awhile of their support and talking to them you realize to your horror you dont actually know anything about them at all" other than he's like. bold and brash and likes to start fights sometimes oh and lest we forget he also tends to take the death of loved ones so hard to the point that no matter the circumstances true causes he always blames himself.

he always blames himself and gets a bit. ummmmm i wouldn't say suicidal but like way too risky with his life and stops really caring if he'll die. he's just so used to nobody ever understanding him and his "off kilter" tbh neurodivergent way of thinking and living that he. like. he doesn't exactly have great self image beyond thinking he has sexy lips which sounds so silly but it's true and again it's not something he dwells on it's just kind of, A Fact to him. and this isn't even touching on the slew of issues i'm sure speedwagon's constant comparing of him to his dead grandfather must have caused.

It's very evident to me that he has ALWAYS felt like a burden to some degree i think. even when erina and speed havent really treated him as such. This is why I think his dynamic with speedwagon would be pretty strained / already seems as such -- bc. As I said before, he's ALWAYS comparing him to jonathan, even when he was just a kid.

NOW BY ALL MEANS!! I DO NOT THINK speedwagon means any ill will. it's just something that he just keeps.. doing because. well he respected jonathan so much, and it kind of clouds how he sees joseph because -- well, joseph is the SPITTING IMAGE of him. But not intending harm does not mean he hasn't caused any by doing that -- comparison can WRECK you pretty bad. joseph has made it clear that he knows he's nothing like jonathan in any regards except looks and i think it kind of contributes to his overall. tanked self image. and also the fact that he's a reminder of the tragedy of losing his parents ( or so they thought for a while. yk )

he deeply cares for him still, this much is true. he always will. but, it doesn't negate the serious comparison issue, constantly being told "WOW you have an attitude not at ALL like your grandpa, he would have never done x!! how do you look like him while being such an angry kid!!"

..... said without real malice or really bad intention, more out of exasperation. but. those kinds of things stick with kids. yknow? Joseph's always bottled up his emotions and tried to be on his best behavior for erina's sake. hes always a little more open with speedwagon. but .............. BWGHGURUGURGGH!!!!!!! i could go on for hours about it ok. but i shall move on to my next point now.

what sucks about it though is that the fandom tends to gloss over these bit of characterization at every turn. there is a lot of sadness and concerning things surrounding joseph that he just simply SHRUGS OFF about that it's kinda concerning! not that he'd ever really see a problem with it.

the fact that he was prepared to die / did the bet if only to distract them long enough to let caesar and speedwagon get away... you COULD maybe read it as a little bit of self preservation but given how he handles literally all other instances of him possibly dying., and the circumstances of him leading whammuu away being to SAVE those two. I think it yet again falls in line with "who gaf if i die i care if THEY die". then he gets stressed about the time he has left. which i imagine would stress ANYONE honestly. but . part of me thinks that it's also because this means that he has a short time to make sure he can be strong enough to protect everyone he loves and cares for..

that isn't ALL there is, of course. but i feel like with his behavior that is probably a big reason of it. You can summarize it all with one sentence; essentially,

joseph isn't afraid of death, nor dying himself; he's afraid of his loved ones dying.

This fact is extremely present in everything he does and says, but especially so when Caesar's death hits. THAT, however, i will make it's own post on. I have a lot to say on that and how it fucked him up for life. For now, though, I will move on and touch on another topic.

for all the loud opinions joseph seems to also speak none of it is ever really looked into much deeper as anything more than " he's just being joseph again" and he never really elaborates on it either, hence why a lot of people don't know much about him. While he is schrodinger's himbo -- too stupid to be smart, too smart to be stupid -- it's clearly all an act to get people to lower their expectations of him. He doesn't like being taken as a joke though. that he is a hater of for sure so. Joseph hides his true self behind a mask of idiocy and lackadaisical attitude to the point where it's blended into his actual truest self and he can hardly tell what's real and what's the mask. But at the same time, Joseph gets very angry when nobody takes him seriously because of his facade and trying to make everyone lower their expectations of him so he can pull the rug out from under them.

He's so mad when people don't take him serious but then continues to act pretty unserious and it's like. Well if you want them to take you more seriously bro you should stop doing that. Stop lowering others expectations so you can kick their asses or have a general upper hand just in case ( but he won't 💖)

he is a bit of a polarizing character but i hate when fandom reduces him to just "funny goofster" or ""cheater"", or writes him off as annoying with no depth to him. To judge Joseph through a lense of solely good or solely bad is a terrible idea; that man is gray moraled as HELL, he has a strong sense of self justice while also being incredibly underhanded and sneaky. If you dislike him, that's fine -- but don't discount his complexity just cause of that!!! He's not puddle deep, there's a lot of facets to how truly fucked up he is.

yeah. he is goofy, and he's a cheater at many things. but there's a lot to him. HE'S COMPLEX!!!!

#joseph joestar #🐍 txt #i have. a lot of feelings about him ok?#also part of this is old ass posts from my discord but i think tumblr should see it too

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altruistic-meme · 2 years

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Am I the only one who actually likes Marcus in the beginning? Like I thought "oh he seems like a nice dude I want Simon to be with wille but this isn't so bad ig" and then when Simon tried breaking up with him his response????? Was so WEIRD? like it just felt off to me that he refused to hear Simon and just went on saying that they should still be together and brought up his dad. Like that was weird as hell. Maybe I'm wrong but if someone's breaking up with you you should just ... Accept it? And let them? It's one thing to try and convince them to stay bc you're so heartbroken, which is acceptable, but with Marcus it felt like different, like he was lowkey being manipulative. It felt like he wasn't listening to Simon at all. And I mean I'm not blaming him for Simon cheating on him with wille but dude you know this guy doesn't really wanna be with you lmao what did you expect

hello anon i love you.

Trust me, you are NOT alone! This was literally my exact reaction as well. I actually kind of like Marcus at the start, and then during that argument my opinion completely flipped. Because you are very right: it was pretty manipulative of Marcus, and it wasn’t the only time he exhibited that behavior either.

For the sake of “I’m not here to start drama”: I’m going to speak from personal experience and about my personal opinion on Marcus. I am always open to hearing other peoples thoughts on this as well, if you agree or disagree, just please be respectful about it. I have been witness to two different, incredibly manipulative relationships. I’ve done quite a bit of research because of this. So that’s where I’m coming from.

Now, you sent me this right before my first rewatch of s2 which means i was paying lots of attention to Marcus when i watched it and I definitely took notes for this so let’s go!

Episode 1 (around 37:00): my first red flag in Marcus’ behavior was how he was pretty instantly overly-friendly and familiar with Simon despite the fact they’d only had 2 interactions. He greeted him with a hug, kept getting very close to him, and was hanging off of him during karaoke. Which isn’t always a red flag, because sometimes people are just Like That, but I still think it’s worth noting considering his later behavior. It just rubs me the wrong way that he is putting himself into Simon’s space so quickly.

Episode 3 (around 22:40): the actual argument that you mentioned

Like you, I was perfectly fine with Marcus until this scene. I got bad feelings pretty early on.

Simon tells Marcus that he “isn’t ready for anything serious” and Marcus tells him that it’s okay, but then proceeds to immediately twist the situation in his favor. He pretends to accept what Simon says to begin with so that Simon won’t just shut down, but he does still put up arguments.

“I’m not like [Wille] … I won’t hurt you.” Bad Sign Bad Sign Bad Sign. Saying that he isn’t like Wille to catch Simon’s attention and to build trust. Simon’s trust in Wille is broken, and Marcus seems to understand that, so he’s using Wille as a gateway to establish a trust that he would otherwise have to earn.

Simon basically telling him “that’s not what it’s about, it’s not about you, I just can’t do this now” was another chance for Marcus to step back, but instead he continues to push the issue.

Him bringing up Micke was a trick as well. Telling Simon that he doesn’t really understand how relationships should look gives him free wiggle room. Because it makes Simon lose trust in his own judgment, and now he will look to Marcus to see if what they are doing is good and healthy.

TOUCHING HIS NECK during the conversation made me furious actually. It built a connection between them, something intimate, again to build Simon’s trust.

Reinforced by hugging him as well.

“I know you don’t want to destroy something this beautiful” is also a very bad sign. Because now he’s telling Simon that what they have is healthy and good, piggybacking off of the doubt he created earlier in Simon’s judgment.

“Let’s just take it slow” now he’s repeating this, telling Simon what his own terms are while actively ignoring Simon’s decision to end it.

And finally for this scene, he gives a “reward” for Simon’s agreement. He offers to go cheer Simon on at the competition.

Episode 4 (around 7:45): he expresses no interest in going to the ball, which is fine on it’s own, but it’s him shutting down what Simon wants immediately followed by proposing what he wants instead, to go to his house.

Also Episode 4 (around 36:00): last one, this one also is a huge thing imo. “[Wille] seems nice. He’s not at all stuck-up like when he was shooting with Felice.” this is a direct attempt to paint Wille in a bad light. It’s an attempt to make Simon believe that Wille was only nice to Marcus because Simon was there, and that he is entirely different - even rude - when Simon isn’t there to impress.

This is all to say that, whether it was intentional or not, I think Marcus was absolutely trying to manipulate Simon. So much of his behavior can kind of be waved away (“oh some people are just overly-friendly” “maybe Simon needed to hear that” “Wille did hurt Simon” etc) but also one of the major aspects of manipulation like this is that it can be easy to wave away. The person who is being manipulative doesn’t want to be clocked manipulating someone, it’s not supposed to be overt and noticeable. But it’s still there. In many little things and sometimes in a few bigger ones.

This was something I noticed on my first watch, and the rewatch only further cemented it in my mind. Do I think Marcus was all bad? No, absolutely not! But then again, neither are most manipulators. I did enjoy him as a character as well, and the actor did a wonderful job. But yeah. I don’t think he did Simon any good.

#so many thoughts so little time #i need to actually sleep today :')#this is probably only semi-coherent but it is what it is #i wanted to give you these thoughts while i still had them fresh #also most of the quotes are paraphrasing rip me i can only handwrite so fast #while ALSO trying to pay attention to the scene #anyway this is my opinion and while i am pretty solid in my belief of it i am open to hearing other's thoughts!#young royals #yr s2 spoilers #anon #askers #shh ac

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ashsostrange · 8 months

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hey y'all so i wasn't initially planning on talking about what rashad posted earlier today bc it's literally all bullshit, but i might as well! i’m not actually tripping over anything that’s going on. if anything, i’ve been laughing my ass off all day at this foolishness.

this is gna be long as hell, so don't even grab popcorn, i suggest a five course meal.

for some background, rashad became mutuals w this girl. right off bat, he’s making hella race jokes ab this girl being white. i b doing the same, but with my FRIENDS. people i am CLOSE WITH. and i don’t over do it because that’s lame and annoying. anyway, she eventually stated that she was uncomfortable and rashad blamed his behavior on the fact that he was on pain meds. she eventually blocked him and told one of her mutuals, and to rashad, that’s her “spreading rumors” about him. he did the most on his page and in ppls inboxes crying and complaining, saying he was gna eat glass and shit.

so now let’s look at his fuckass post:

number one, how can a rumor be started about you if nobody.. knows you? like, you are not a celebrity. nobody talks about you. and nobody was talking about you “being on drugs” other than the girl you made uncomfortable and her two mutuals. i know you send yourself anons too. you make it seems like anyone actually cares about your “hot takes” for some strange reason. don’t even try to deny it, bc there’s no way you’re getting more anon msgs than my friends with larger platforms than yours.

you’re also messier than a mf, sending your own mutuals anon msgs. me and lia know you were the one sending her anon msgs bc she blocked you, and you know it too! talking ab how her username is “corny” then reblogging the posts of her clocking your ass??? acting like it wasn’t YOU.

you tried to turn two writers who were already arguing against each other even more. we sat there and defended your ass even though you were the anon the entireeee time. you made a post saying “war has begun” to try and get us to attack bree’s friend. your weird ass stayed in that girl’s inbox after i told you to block her instead of doing the most. you’re lame and you’re bored.

it doesn't matter if you tagged her or not, you still said it. sliding into sb's inbox and telling 'em you're going to eat glass bc you made someone else uncomfortable is ABSURD. it doesn't matter if it isn't my drama, if i see bs ima say something, and there isn't a thing in the world you can do about it. your "rants" are a form of guilt tripping/manipulation. you're trying to victimize yourself and make us feel bad for you. well, we do not! i checked you once on discord. you said thank you. you said you were going to make an apology, but in that same “apology”, tried to justify your actions. i clocked that and unmutualed you. you then went to lia talking ab some "tell ash i said thanks for checking me" nd now you switched up. your thanks was revoked. all of a sudden, you're the victim again. all of a sudden, i’m ableist?? okayyyy niggaaaaaa 👎 boooo

you say you're "blocking me for your safety" when i wasn't even planning on talking ab your lame ass again. i won't baby you about your behavior because you're not a goddamn baby! and yes, you CANNOT be the victim every time. you bitch and whine on your page when you get into it with somebody, and unless we're defending you, you don't want us getting involved! it doesn't work like that. nobody else was calling you out, so me n my girls did.

idk why my name stays steady coming out of your mouth. my "daily activities" that i "broadcast" are what i ate for lunch/dinner and complaining about school. you run your mouth about all sorts of mess. you put every aspect of your life on your blog. we are not the same, so don't even try to make it seem that way. the people on my blog that i don't talk to outside of tumblr don't know everything about me. you cry in people's inboxes unwarranted and say explicit shit with tw's in your TAGS. i'll say what we're all thinking, NOBODY IS TRYNA SEE ALL THAT!!! coming from someone who struggles with mental health, venting on tumblr will not do anything for you. these people are not licensed professionals. invest in a diary, don't you have a boyfriend to vent to?

you are quite literally the only one looking for drama. we never defended that girl bc we don't know her.. we know you though. and you were venting about catty, but i never said ALWAYS, so don't lie in my face like i'm stupid bc i'm not. ion know what you thought you were doing with the last part, but god bless.

i am a good person my nigga, i don't need confirmation! i know who i am. if you're debating suicide because you're confused about something, you just need to get off the mf internet bro. it’s never that serious. you're not gna sit here and tell me you were debating suicide bc me n my girls put you in your place. you made your own mental worse by refusing to take accountability.

he also made an edit saying he has nowhere else to go… if you have nowhere else to go, then i'd be happy to buy you a damn journal so you can write in there and leave the rest of us the hell alone. and there isn't shit to be sorry about bc you're not putting jack shit on me, all of it is on you. you wna be everything but wrong. 🚶‍♀️should’ve just kept it cute and kept it quiet.

allat being said, good riddance, r*shad. leave me and everybody else alone! and if you fw him, then there’s the door 👉🚪 good riddance to you too.

#ash spills 🌺#rashadisoverparty #LMFAOOO #you were dealt w #don't try it again lil nigga

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brynalyn · 3 months

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lol glip is so upsetti that you're speaking out about your experience on chost that theyre flooding the floraverse tags with ms paint whining about how people are mean

Just saw this and it’s really funny lmao. Like sure, just post through it, try and cover everything up however you can and have a pity party about it, just slander the victims and deny any wrongdoing like you always do, or claim it wasn’t wrong and actually the other person is bad for being upset. That always makes things go away and leads to healthy conclusions and healing 🤪

at least I can own up to my past and have always made 300% effort to change and learn when I’ve fucked up. If I did something that hurt someone, I apologized and stopped the behavior. instead of just blaming the other person, bc that would be abusive of me! And delusional, which I don’t feed into anymore. Accountability feels freaking awesome…. too bad glip is the eternal victim and it will always be someone else’s fault. Lmao.

I’m still not gonna read what they wrote bc they have no respect for me and certainly are rehashing things I have already experienced a significant amount of guilt for, as well as manipulative guilt tripping and gaslighting over, things I’ve long since apologized and changed for, things that were insignificant molehills yet I still got shit for it years later. Im not going to read how it was actually okay for pengo to treat me and others like shit, how my reaction is wrong somehow, how I’m the bad guy for originally trying to connect, or giving good faith that I wasn’t being abused. I’m not gonna get guilted for trusting people I looked up to and being upset and confused when they weren’t trustworthy!!! I’m not some fabled perfect victim obviously but that never stopped my abuse, the things I experienced from being real. If Glip believed their own bullshit they would have taken the care to look and read what I’ve said and sent them both currently and in the past but just like when I first learned glips true nature they just don’t give a shit if it’s not about them/someone who constantly kisses their ass and lives in it. If someone shows discontent over being punched down on all the time, or disagree with glips story they’ve told where they are the victim in every way, they’ll get all sorts of manipulative and abusive treatment….. ask me how I know lol.

Suffice to say I totally believed glip about everything and that was a really stupid decision on my part I found out. Then I rightly felt like, betrayed and as if I had been misled, which I had been, but all that was seen as ‘kf behavior’ or something. Feeling hurt about an artist you look up to deceiving people for years is wrong guys it’s evil according to glip. According to them we should all forgive everything bc they are the victim, forget about it and move on, and also bow down to all their opinions and whims and take all their shit without complaint. Be a good doormat or you might find out how they really feel about you. Super healthy behavior all around. God I’m so glad I left lmao.

#floraverse #glitchedpuppet #pengosolvent #just send me an ask about anything anyone feels I should address straightforwardly my box is always open #I would delight in giving more context to people I just don’t want to do it on their terms lmao

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starfxkr · 22 days

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Okay don't shoot me for these y'all! so I'm a go by character let's start with kie, I hate how the writers passed around like a fucking hot potato like give that lesbian a GOOD love story.

And I hate the rafe x kie ship, like when he apologized to her for trying to drown Sarah and not the fact that he CHOKED kie as well, like why as a community do we over look that.

The jj x kie ship feels kinda forced but it's not the worse.

JJ should be ina poly relationship with Cleo and pope, I personally don't like jj nothing personal he just is spontaneous and it overwhelms me.

FUCK THAT NIGGA RAFE, like I GENUINELY hate his character like he practically HATE CRIMED pope and went back to his colonizers roots and stole technically popes gold and popes cross.

I don't truly blame topper for burning down the chateau like he crashed out, but he was also dumb ASF for thinking Sarah was gone keep her word. She used you as a place holder whenever john bad her irritated lik why are we shocked.

Kelce is such a useless character, like I genuinely need them to do more with his character like he is so boring.

The heyward's and kie's mom are the best parents, kie's mom is just trying to look out for her only daughter but her dad can eat dot shit.

John b is underrated in his own show because of them blonde folk and it makes me sad.

Cleo came into the show and made and impact like she truly is the best character

I used to hate Sarah but she's ight.

I think that's all but I am a #proudrafehater -🍓

okay lets break it down lets break it down

AGREE i feel like kies character is wasted trying to be a love interest like shes truly at her best when she's just vibing...give her a girlfriend...they also make her annoyingly self righteous and that shit where she screamed murderer at ward during the stakeout....whatever.

riara im ambivalent towards but i think its says a lot that that little handful of interactions between them got ppl more revved up than the jiara moment

i hate tht ship so bad....fan service at its worst u can tell those two don't fw each other no more

i think like the jj pope cleo relationship thing is sooo interesting bc like...u can tell the actors like jjpope, they're the closest of all the pogues (jj and john bs relationship exists outside that realm tbh they're just brothers) and we constantly see them together without everyone else like they shoulda let it happen. also think its interesting that cleo was supposed to be with jj and u can see the remnants of that but then jiara happened so we got popecleo and i love them sm everyones so weird about them. i want the best of both worlds put all 3 together

i do really hate rafe yall like...i love writing him honestly and hes sooo good for fics but like show rafe....hell burn burn burn put him in the saw trap

topper really makes me wanna take his head off but it sucks because hes sooooooo funny like i actually like him from a writing standpoint shit just be happening to him and burning the chateau was the only time he uno reversed on the universe gotta respect him for that one

kelce is there

we loveeeee bobby heyward in this house im not playin hes my fav parent and i love how we can see that even though he talks shit about the pogues he truly does care for them like those are his sons friends and they'll always have a place with the haywards like....the banter between them is truly indicative of how much he cares he may say he doesnt like them and call em bastards but he does!!! also i have a lot of empathy for anna tbh like u can tell her behavior is born of worry and the fear of kie making the same mistakes she did but shes going through that mother feeling of realizing your daughter has to go through it to come out

john b deserves more like hes such a fucking joy to watch and he's literally so 70s/80s leading man coded and im glad the girls are coming around more john b what the fuck.

cleos the real star..people again so weird abt her and always leaving her out and use the excuse that shes "barely been there" shes been around since season 2 what do you mean. she's been helping out john b and sarah from the jump.

im a sarah cameron apologist yall could never make me hate her. she's just constantly in pain...save her

#✨.txt #🍓 anon

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martian-garden · 1 month

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Discord Group was discussing how fear of AMAB bodies in queer spaces happened and here's my experience from watching some of the beginnings of modern "inclusive language" (afab, amab) getting weaponized. Putting it here in case anyone else has seen similar shit or is curious to see what happened to me. For the purposes of perspective, as this happened around me, I still identified as a woman at this time/was an egg.

>not to oversimplify how we got here, but basically a bunch of feminists (real) started talking about the trauma many women have with men (valid). and then a bunch of (ime) baby feminists who had not done an extensive amount of work and had lost the plot of Gender Equality being the intended result of feminism started blaming men as individuals for the patriarchy, instead of other people caught up in an unbelievably complex system in which all players are trapped. and then that validated people's reflexive distrust for transfem people and nb amabs, AND trans men who pass, and ALSO hurt cis men who are BTW ALSO VICTIMS HERE, THERE ARE VERY FEW WINNERS IN TOXIC MASCULINITY, it's a societal framework, not a deliberate attempt unless you're fuckin andrew tate or someone richer than balls with serious social swing. and yeah then we got to a point where like. afab people of all genders are sometimes rly fucking asinine around amab people of all genders bc they've been taught that their trauma responses, which are frequently genuine, are in fact okay reasons to treat people like shit

>that's my take anyway

>it's imo part of a broader societal phenomenon where the access to information about therapy and therapy terms and concepts without being able to GO to therapy bc of trash healthcare costs and lack of coverage means that people are validating each other's trauma without the main core of therapy, which is doing work to mitigate it. so you have a lot of people repeating stuff like "your feelings are valid" while missing the plot, which is that no. feelings are feelings. they're things that happen to you for (a) reason(s), and they're not your FAULT, but they should not dictate your behavior. feelings are like a sensory input. they are information and a reaction that you need to work in concert with. and sometimes they don't like something that they have no business not liking, or that maybe they have business disliking, but WOULD HURT OTHER PEOPLE if you acted on them.

The issue is that people are trying to use therapy terms to justify themselves and their pain (ok) but not actually realizing that it's part of a maladaptive response that does damage--to you and to the people around you (not ok). but bc they don't have access to the second half of that, they just get stuck in a loop of Bad Feeling = sign to avoid thing or Bad Feeling = i shouldn't have to feel that way, without critically engaging with why or how it's also kind of your responsibility to make yourself not feel bad.

This essay brought to you by a guy who spent 4 years at a college with 4 therapists, at least 2 of whom were quacks (small town, no off-campus resources) and 1300 students, over half of which were in some kind of active crisis at any given time. I watched the Sexuality and Gender Alliance club start hosting events "only for women and afabs" bc amab people, regardless of sometimes being women, were going to make it so that people were traumatized, despite pushback from several AFAB NB PEOPLE who didn't like being lumped in with women or divorced from their own masculinity.

btw if you're wondering, the painting of AFAB people as victims and inherently vulnerable DEFINITELY contributed to the TERF notion of women being inherently harmless, in need of protection, and also that femininity is delicate. It just reinforced the shitty gender norms that OG feminists wanted to destroy. It's very fucked up.

Anyway to any young feminists: AMAB people are your friends, your allies, your family. trans people's assigned sex or genitals are not inherently traumatizing, just like someone's scarring isn't inherently traumatizing. Trauma isn't a god. Stop giving it that power to hurt other people, even if you don't perceive them as vulnerable--bc GUESS WHAT, EVERYBODY IS- and rob you of some of the most precious connections you'll ever have.

#queer #mars speaks #personal experience #i don't wanna tag this queer history bc i am not a universal experience.#but idk did other people see this happen?#i'm at the end of the millennials and beginning of gen Z for people of similar ages to weigh in.#PLEASE by all means lmk if you have experiences that inform on this phenomena #gender #transgender

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pepprs · 8 months

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ok two things.

not that i need to clarify and not that anyone needs to know more detail but. to clarify from my post last night: my brother did nothing wrong by showing his music to me AT ALL. but there are two things that are hard about it and i hate to say it but the bigger one is… he has the same spark i used to have and feel like ive lost forever snd him making unfathomably beautiful music makes me… jealous. or at the very least mournful about what happened to my own musical / poetic pursuits and skills and how i feel like i will never be able to do anything like that again bc ive lost myself and feel detached from my life and am frozen like a dear in headlights. and the second thing is he’s in a lot of pain rn with his own situation and we don’t communicate abt it except in ways that are extremely like.. strained and sheepish and i feel like a bad big sister for not being more affectionate and like trying to force through the barrier and be lovey dovey with him basically bc i think he needs / wants that even though we’re both weird about it. lol

my cousins posted a picture of them smoking together on their ig story and my mom screenshotted it and sent it to me and my siblings w/o knowing that ig tells you when you screenshot someone’s story and is now doubling down on how righteous she is abt taking a screenshot bc they’re being stupid and smoking when it’s unhealthy. and my dad is telling her “people are allowed to be you g and make mistakes” and she’s continui ng to double down abt how when she was their age she didn’t care about fitting in and just accepted that she didn’t fit in instead of engaging in bad behavior etc etc. like first of all our cousins didn’t hurt anyone by posting that why did she need to screenshot it 💀 they’re going to read into that for sure and i don’t blame them like it’s just so weird and im so fucking embarrassed abt it. and second of all lkke… you are not better than them for not smoking or doing other stuff and also them smoking isn’t necessarily abt fitting in. shut up 💗 [UPDATE post cancelled apparently ig doesn’t notify ppl when they screenshot stories anymore. but my point abt her being judgy abt young ppl being young ppl remains]

#purrs #delete later #ask to tag #the ig story screenshot thing is making me so fucking mad too bc when i bc ame out as bi on social media years ago she fucking screenshotted #the story and it freaked me out and when i asked her abt it she said she screenshotted it to make a point abt how you shouldn’t put #private information (like abt ur sexuality) online bc ppl can use that against you and hurt you and it’s nobody’s business when…. she was #LITERALLY the only person to screenshot that post and guess what. SHE used it against me!!!!!!!! like idk how to describe it but she’s so #judgmental towards young ppl (esp me and my siblings lol but still) like. figuring themselves out in public and just existing and these #aren’t the only examples either it just sucks so bad and is so fucking weird. mind your own damn business lol #the coming out day snapchat story screenshot fiasco is one of the worst and most painful things that has ever happened to me in my rs with #her and with my own sexuality btw 💖 it’s been like 6 yrs and it still hurts and silences me to this day lol

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hella1975 · 9 months

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i dont think i can really say anything to make you feel better but im going to try bc ive been thinking about you a lot lately and what i could say to you abt this bc i am worried about you!!!! but firstly i want to say it is NOT your fault for being conditioned to act a certain way by your mother, i wish you wouldnt blame yourself. you are not at fault here for anything and its unfair of her to say you are cold and unfeeling when she encouraged the behavior that makes you seem that way (to clarify, i dont believe you are actually cold and unfeeling). i feel that its not my place to comment on your disconnect to your own emotions and other peoples emotions, so i wont. but i will say, as your friend, that the way you love is not bad. the way you love is genuine and so you that anyone who cannot see that youre trying and putting in effort simply isnt paying attention, or doesnt actually know you. and maybe you are reading that and thinking i dont even know myself but i think to know you is to love you and i absolutely do love you so i must know you, right? that turned into a probably confusing jumble but my point is that i just want you to be gentle with yourself, and patient, because you are not bad and you deserve kindness. I think you have a tough exterior that is often misunderstood, maybe even by yourself, but that doesnt make you bad. okay? I love you <3 and i know you said you are dealing with this by yourself and you wouldnt know how to talk about it even if you wanted to but i just want you to know that you are not alone and i am always here for you if you want to try to talk or if you need a distraction from yourself. im sorry if i overstepped or anything and please dont feel obligated to acknowledge this at all

punching my pillow rn.

#HANNAHHHHHHH <3333333 idk what to even say to this this was everything i needed to hear im just. sitting here so genuinely touched #i love you. im glad you know it #ask

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thedroloisms · 3 months

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yes theres no doubt a large disparity esp on here when other communities outnumber this one in size. I mean to say the new wave over-saturates this behavior, when they all share the common mindset of "at least my guy is not as bad as that one" they conform to putting a controversy in the back of their mind because they never expect their guy to be subject to that limelight or little things that get dream lambasted for because they take part in it. Making sure their punching bag stays as that only punching bag. And seeing it happen to them is such a foreign thing to experience, so they have find ways to cope with it even if it means to drag a name that has nothing to do with the situation. It's my thought process at least that the critical thinking the general community adheres to will always be based on bias and malicious take-downs to make themselves seem better to a wider range beyond theirs. Its so naturally performative too, their statements have like a veneer of snarkiness to it that you can clock right away. Using "she didn't say anyone so we shouldn't speculate" and ignoring the deliberate details she dropped, makes empathy look like a smoke screen to deny or not talk about the person who everyone knows is in plain sight. I understand its a sensitive subject to most people but seeing the evidence of her spoken word be accused of being associated with leak stuff in order to blame something other than their guy is so disgusting. So thats why in this situation, seeing the stark differences as an observer, I can't help but laugh too otherwise I would go mad.

i'd say in my personal experience, older fans tend to be even worse about the "my guy is a good guy and better than dream" rhetoric specifically bc they cling to their experience in choosing "the right side" as giving them a moral high ground. a lot of said people are specifically even invoking dream's name in terms of decision-making in this situation, basically saying "ohhh this situation isn't like the dream situation, if it was like that then obviously i would've dropped him" or on the flip side being like "we can't be like dream fans, guys, we have to Drop Him and call him an awful inhuman monster #fuckmen" etcetera whatever. obviously there are plenty of problems with newer fans as well but i've seen pleeeenty of people acting in stupid ways who were specifically here for the allegations against dream in 2022 (including something i saw earlier which made me laugh a little bit - someone going "look i cant support abusers i used to be a dream fan but then the allegations dropped and i stopped supporting him because i didn't want to look bad :( i dont support will gold anymore but i will continue to draw wilbur soot" like ???? okay) - i feel like new fans are more of an issue bc they take this attitude from older fans and parrot and amplify it, but honestly i wouldn't really say new fans are the root of the issue (though obviously their lack of supporting a Bad Guy in the past factors into their superiority complexes in the present)

while there have been quite a few idiots making this situation about dream (some people outright accusing dream, though honestly i think those people were just trying to deflect the situation onto their favorite punching bag rather than making an actual accusation - and a lot more people bringing up the dream situation specifically to soothe their own complicated feelings because Obviously they care about victims and Obviously they care about holding Bad People accountable) - i feel like the majority of what i've seen from people other than the copium is just a lot of people going all :( support shelby #believevictims don't speculate, which is. wow. crazy to me as well to consider it leak to ... talk about literally publicly available information? like leaktwt is when you listen to music lyrics now i fucking guess.

you really, really do have to laugh, honestly. i didn't know what to expect from this situation but my god, i did NOT think it'd be this bad

#the askers #abuse

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deanismysavior · 2 years

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unrelated but I wanted to just ramble about some byeler scenes and wanted to hear your take on it.

I’ve been thinking a lot about the mike/will scenes in the airport and at the roller rink. we as the audience already know HOW much mike projects his own feelings and frustrations and pushes that blame off of himself (dear goodness i love him so much but he’s so dramatic all the time <3).

We’ve seen this in prior seasons! ex: mike getting mad at will in s3, and being annoyed at will for wanting to still play dnd with him, while knowing he didn’t focus enough time for his best friend (and projecting that into the questions to will about girlfriends and wanting to play dnd).

he does this CONSTANTLY in s4, which honestly showcases byeler so strongly to me. mike does this when he brushes off will’s ecstatic hug attempt. mike does this when he gets mad at will for “ruining the day” by rolling his eyes and not talking (whereas mike is the one BARELY engaging with will since he arrived in cali). he does this when he gets mad at will for “not reaching out”, and when will debunks that argument, mike denies it and says “that’s not true”, and, “you should’ve reached out more”, and “why am i the bad guy?”. if this doesn’t showcase mike’s own behavior to a tee, i don’t know what does. mike does it once again when will asks about their relationship and the letters he sends to el, and mike gets mad and just says something along the lines of “el is my girlfriend, and we’re friends.” (defensive much? why would his friendship with will somehow get in the way of his relationship with el and vice versus….unless?) (there’s MANY more examples of this too)

THESE are mike’s feelings. whenever mike tries to deflect and blame someone else’s behavior, it’s himself all along. hell, he even does this with el! when she mentions he hasn’t said “i love you”, he just says, “i say it.” we know he doesn’t. he knows he doesn’t. she even pulls out the letters that all say “from, mike” on them. instead of owning up to his blatant lie, he shifts the blame to “other people” getting in the way of their relationship (alluding to???????) (also if i don’t quote this scene correctly or make it more vague is bc i don’t have the scene on hand)

why in the world would there be any reason for mike to need to consistently deflect people’s questions about his feelings? why does he feel the need to shift the blame onto others when they call out his strange behavior? (poor mike is the KING of projecting <3 i love him dearly though)

anyways, spare thoughts? i’m going kinda crazy about this by myself so i’d love some feedback.

Oh gosh. Michael "Blame Shifter" Wheeler. There's so much to say about him. I think your assessment of his actions is absolutely correct, Mike's knee-jerk reaction to everything is to get defensive first, but I'm so glad because we REALLY see him work on that this season with Will. I think he finally recognizes this pattern in himself and is ready to start owning his shit a bit more. We not only see this in Mike's apology to Will, but we also start to see him take accountability before he gets interrupted by Argyle in Surfer Boy Pizza. And though we never get to hear what he was going to say to El, tonally it felt like he was really going to explain himself and why he couldn't say he loved her.

I mean he's definitely hiding something about his feelings, because even at the end of s3, when El confronts him about how he blurted out I love you in the cabin, he tries to deny he ever said anything, says he doesn't remember, and says it was in "the heat of the moment," which are things you would generally say to someone if you didn't want them to know how your felt. It wouldn't make sense in the context of Mike and El's relationship because they've been together for six months and there would be no stakes of losing someone by telling them you love them in that scenario. You could plausibly chalk that up to his not wanting to say it first, but then we get the awkward kiss and the face of utter confusion after. That's not how you react to your girlfriend reciprocating your love for her.

And then we get all of the blame shifting around feelings when it comes to Will, (i.e. It's not my fault you don't like girls), and when we put this pattern together, it's a lot more telling. When Mike is refusing to talk to Will and being petty with him for not reaching out, we see Mike again in this state of being distant and suppressing, but then blaming the distance on Will. So Mike is creating a good deal of that distance, but he doesn't actually want it, and instead he's upset that Will isn't seeing through that he doesn't want space (so it's almost like a double blame shift here), and that's why he acts so petty with him in Lenora: Mike is simultaneously blaming Will for his own feelings towards Will and he's blaming Will for not being attentive to those feelings, even though Will has no clue about them and also reads Mike's weirdness as Mike pushing him away.

We see so much deflection of Mike's own feelings in his scenes with El this season because he's grappling with so much internally. If he really felt that way about El, it would be easy to tell her since she's already told him and he'd have no stakes in losing her if he told her, but he doesn't tell her because he doesn't actually feel that way, and then blame shifts to other people interfering in their relationship because he's not ready to acknowledge that he doesn't feel about his girlfriend the way he should.

To me, his actions read a lot like him desperately trying to hold onto to what he has while he's sorting his shit out. He's buying himself time with El by deflecting her questions, and he's buying himself time by pushing Will away, because then he doesn't have to acknowledge what's really wrong here.

#byler #byler endgame #byler nation #ask #mike wheeler #will byers #el hopper #st #stranger things #will byers is gay #mike wheeler i know what you are #will x mike #mike x will

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traumasurvivorshelpingsurvivors · 1 year

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Tw: cocsa, incest, SA

I don't remember much when I was much but I remember I did get groped by my brother around 10. Before that I used to get chronic uits as a child, I came across corn early on, I saw things around the house and on the computer and we both used to watch it. I've had dreams now as an adult that we engaged in certain stuff sexually but I don't seem to remember. I had a lot of inappropriate behaviour as a child and instead of asking I just got shamed for it and looked down upon, I even did things with my other brother which I ended up remembering and I feel so guilty. But with my older brother I felt way more attachment than normal, even jealousy which i found odd.

I had his laptop once and I was trying to find my file and ended up coming across his porn, it was full of step sis and sis content which shocked me after having those dreams, what I found even shocking was how similar the girls would look to me..

After that i remembered I ended up getting weirdly turned on and hyper, I felt like spiral for 3 days straight.

I also got sa at 11 by my neighbour. Theu didn't know, During this time I was acting inappropriate and my parents shamed me for it and said I'm disgusting, it was just me and a friend during school drawing and writing dicks n stuff. They banned me from watching my favourite shows because of it.

Another thing I had a dream of my dad, just once. I dont remember anything but when I was 14, I went to put food on table and he spanked my ass, so harshly. I do have a big ass and idk It felt really disgusting bc it wasn't gentle but it wasn't even a good touch in my head, just bad. Since then I feel awkward around him, he's commented a few times on me and my body. I know he has a thing for girls around my age bc he got obsessed once with this one in a show and yeah its wasn't nice but she's literally my age... I found he searched explicit scenes or pics of her once. Idk if he ever did anything with me bc I don't remember anything. But when he takes pics of me I do feel uncomfortable, because I know he's a perv and idk maybe he's thinking thoughts like that with me? I even tell him to delete and he never does.

I remember around 20 we had an argument over clothes, apparently i can't even wear simple things because of my body 🙃 and they mentioned well people will look and an uncle had commented on my body at 14. Saying how I'm pretty thick and how my body shows... I was covered btw because it was during a wedding. What my parents did instead of blame me, as I've always gotten blamed. To the point, I feel like I'm so disgusting and shameful. I hate how I get turned on when I shouldn't be, me getting hyper.

I just feel gaslight half of the time and what makes it worse is when it was during the school when me and a friend was writing about a male teacher as jokes, my mom switched up like 3 years ago saying I'm disgusting because I wrote that stuff about my own dad! Wtf! I can't believe she would even say that to me bc I'm very well aware of what is being wrote. I'm not even kidding when I say shes probably jealous of me at this point.

No one cared or bothered to know why I was acting like that at young, when I spoke sexual things n what not, what I came across, instead I get shamed, its my fault and I'm a horrible person. I hate how I always had to do something sexual in order to feel a release.

Hi anon.

I'm so sorry about what you went through.

It sounds like not only your brother but both your parents held attitudes that enabled sexual abuse, through victim-blaming, gaslighting, and excusing each other's behavior. It's possible that there may be a history of that, as they seem to normalize that kind of behavior.

It sounds like, as a result of your experiences, you may have developed what is known as hypersexuality, which for you has stirred up a lot of feelings of shame and disgust. Please know that it's quite common for assault survivors to experience hypersexuality.

None of what happened is your fault. You're not a horrible person. You're a survivor.

I hope I could help. Please let us know if you need anything.

-Bun

#mod bun #trauma talks #tw abuse #tw sa #tw csa #tw cocsa #tw emotional abuse

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khaleesiofalicante · 1 year

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I don't usually write asks like this but it's been a weird day so yeah

I have this friend. Let's call him Rafael (i'm not creative enough to come up w my own names). He's straight, and we both had a crush on the same girl. She's gorgeous. Let's call her Anjali. We used to talk a lot about how stunning she was. I also came out to him bc i felt comfortable enough.

A while ago he and anjali started dating and they look hot together so i was happy for him. (anjali and I are only acquaintances. idk her very well but she's really nice.)

Today Anjali told me out of nowhere that she's straight. Like i said before we aren't close enough so it was weird for her to just tell me this randomly. i felt weird and didn't know what to say so i just said 'that's nice. i'm definitely not straight' and she said 'i know' and she gave me this look and i realised that she was trying to let me down easily.

I asked Rafael if he'd said something to her and he admitted that he had and didn't think it was a big deal bc i seemed cool with my sexuality. And i AM but that doesn't mean I'm okay w telling about it to everyone, especially people i don't know very well. When i told him this he said that he genuinely didn't think it was a big deal, that i was overreacting and was probably jealous.

I'm not jealous and it was a really shitty thing to say. I'm not sure what to be more angry about- that he told a private detail about my life w/o my consent, assumed that i was jealous or said that i was overreacting.

Anyway sorry for the rant. What do you think? Do you think it was an overreaction on my part? (i want to mention that i hadn't EXPLICITLY asked him to not tell anyone about me)

Love, Yana

ps. i HATE it when people tell me i'm overreacting (especially when i'm not).

first of all (and I cannot stress this enough) fuck Rafael. What an asshole. (sorry if i am being rude to your friend but i speak facts here).

the second most important thing - you are NOT overreacting at all. your friend violated your privacy and disregarded your consent. that shit is NOT okay.

Consent cannot be generalized. Just because you were comfortable telling him, it doesn't mean you are comfortable telling everyone. Even if you are, that goes not give him the right to tell everyone. And it's pretty evident that he was not telling her out of allyship or support. It didn't benefit you in anyway. In fact, it put you in an uncomfortable position. So, please don't feel bad about feeling bad about this.

FURTHERMORE. Not only did he out you, but he also blamed you for it. What kind of gaslighting, victim-blaming bullshit is this?

i am so sorry this happened to you. especially by someone you felt comfortable with. i hope this doesn't prevent you from confiding yourself in others.

It doesn't matter if a) you are 'comfortable' with your sexuality b) explicitly didn't tell him to not tell anyone. It was still wrong. You have every right to feel angry and hurt about this.

The right on your friend's part would have been to apologize, to make sure you don't feel unsafe or uncomfortable again. Instead, he got defensive and pointed fingers at you.

As Max would say, this is peak cunt behavior.

I hope you are feeling better, Yana. Always here for you. 💙

PS - There is always a first time for everything. I'm glad you reached out and vented about this. Proud of you for that. Even prouder for calling out that cunt (i renamed him sorry but it seemed more appropriate).

#support

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symptoms-syndrome · 2 years

Text

Venting a lil, no TWs

Smth I've found to be extremely frustrating lately is that like.

My brother has ADHD. This isn't necessarily the frustrating part. He absolutely, definitely has ADHD, he hasn't been diagnosed yet but it's real bad. The thing is, he makes that ADHD label do a LOT of heavy lifting. I understand that ADHD has a lot of side effects and stuff, I have it myself. But like. Not everything is bc of ADHD, and not everything ADHD causes is just an unfixable part of life. That's the frustrating part. Can't make appointments, ADHD! Can't be more mindful of when I talk, ADHD! Can't listen to you, ADHD!

And I understand it's hard. And like. I don't expect him to be perfect or anything. I also know that the circumstances of my like. Upbringing sort of forced me to adapt in a way that made me overall more functional. I had to get things done or they wouldn't be done. And often those things were important.

But like. Now he's an adult. There are things that are important that he needs to do that he either can't or won't do. And/or won't work on bc he just blames his ADHD. And oftentimes I don't think it's things attributable to his ADHD at all. I think some of them are just his character, or his behavior, or a result of a relatively permissable parenting style combined with an incredibly suburban childhood environment combined with, if I'm being honest, way too much investment in TikTok and pop psychology that attributes everything from liking certain TV shows to regular mood shifts to plain social inadequacy to immutable ADHD.

And it's annoying sometimes. Like when I talk to him and he absolutely does not at all pay attention or listen of acknowledge me until I say his name. Like in some circumstances it's understandable but he does need to learn to like. Have some sort of awareness of the world around him I guess, notice when people are talking to him. Or like when other people are talking/when he shouldn't talk. And I don't want to like. Overparent him. He's an adult and is fully capable of making his own decisions about his own behavior. I'm just not sure how much, IDK, guidance is healthy. I feel he needs at least some.

And like... IDK. I know I have that whole "believes the world to be more dangerous than it is" situation. But also I worry. I worry he's going to get himself into some sort of trouble bc he's incapable of some basic stuff and is socially? Not always the best. But often it's like. IDK I cringe at the way he navigates the world and the confidence with which he does. He acts as if there are no consequences to any of his actions. He can be rude or even mean and doesn't expect anything bad to happen, not even the person disliking him. He enters into relationships both platonic and romantic with ease even when I see a million red flags. On one hand I wish I could live like that. On the other I think it would be terrifying and dangerous.

But the other consequence is that it feels? Sort of invalidating to my own experience with ADHD, in a way. I don't have ADHD like he does. I don't feel the same way about my ADHD as he does. When he describes things as just unchangeable ADHD symptoms that I do not experience at all, or that I am able to overcome, it feels almost like saying his ADHD is somehow more valid or more real than mine is. Because I have been able to overcome some troubling aspects and he has not tried, his ADHD is just inherently more. It almost feels like he's saying that we have two completely different conditions, his incurable and mine not, or like I just Am this way instead of having worked to get this way. Which I know is a theme, me feeling like people don't see the work I put in.

Anyway. This parallels a lot of the ways people talk about DID, I think. I have a lot of experiences with mental illness where it can feel like I'm the only person struggling or working in this way. I'm the only person in the world who doesn't like their DID, or the only person who has ADHD that just isn't as bad (because I made it not as bad.) I do feel some part of it is because of overeagerness on some people's part to claim a label, so these labels are flooded with people for whom the label isn't necessarily true. It's just hard. I don't want to invalidate anyone, but I do. And I can't even claim it's not for selfish motivations, it is. The motivation being that I want to be able to find a place where I belong.

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