#and the person i fought so hard to be is someone people... like??? and admire??? to THIS extent

[hella1975]

HELAL

I have a lot of stuff running through my mind rn and im in a hurry and idk if its going to make sense but oh well.

(its list anon and I have another thing to add to my 'favorite things about finding myself in Hellas circle of existence list thing)

The thing is how much your personality sinks through into your writing and blog thing.

Let me explain,

I lost internet for a few days and I just got it back and was scrolling through tumblr and noticed one of my mutuals reblog something of yours and I was like 'I havent been on the internet for like four days, I wonder what Hella has been up to.' and so I started stalking you (as one does) and like scrolling through your blog and everything and I came across the post you thinged about your hometown and about how shameful you are about your writing and that sent me into a spiral because I know the feeling and couldnt put it into words and I felt so called out.

Thats besides the point.

I had this thing to add to the list for a while and couldn't figure out how to explain it without seeming weird so Im just doing my best here.

It's like when you post things about the things that go on in your mind. I touched on this in my first list thingy with the whole 'when you post little snippets of whats going on in your mind and turn it into what I can only describe as poetyry' part. It's simular but it's not the same.

It's really easy to see someone and follow someone who is so eloquent and brilliant and hold them close to divinity and think about how untouchable they are, which seems weird because I'm on Tumblr of all places. But like when you follow your favorite authors on twitter or instagram and they seem almost inhuman. And sometimes it feels like being that talented is so unattainable because you're not them, you can't spew out flawless lines of words seemingly effortlessly and you cant come up with a plot that clever and even if you can't you can't give the story justice because you're not that good of a writer.

Even other writers on this site are like this and so...ethereal almost. I've mentioned before how a lot of other writer almost run their blog like a business and everything and you scroll through them and see people constantly sending them asks about their works and sending them fanart and people obsessing over their art and like I said it seems unattainable for your average person. Like I dont get that so maybe I'm not that good.

Then I come to your blog and you talk about situations I relate to and you don't hide your humanity and you talk about your classes in economics of all things and your home town and all your problems (while valid) are normal. You're more relatable than the other writers I follow at least.

I've mentioned in other asks ( I dont think they were list ones but they might have been idk ) that you inspire me a lot. This is why. Also the fact that you're my age (I'm 18) and your not in your 20s and you havent taken a decades worth of writing classes and you dont have a degree in literature. You're literally just person living a normal life. That's not to say other authors and writers arent just normal people but you just show it a lot more, idk.

Like reading things like taob and tbos and then going to your main blog and seeing the way you write your stuff in your mind and then going two posts down and your talking about normal things makes me think that maybe I can write something incredible too one day.

And the reason I have the ability to feel that way in relation to you and your stupid blog (affectionate) is because you let your normal personality show, not some robotic businessy- type personality.

That's not to say that I don't think your just an average person, average people can't describe things so rawly. But, like I said, you're not untouchable.

Based on what I see from you and what you show online, I really think that you have the potential to be great one day. Not that you should hold yourself and force yourself into a life you don't want, like if you don't want to be a famous writer, don't be. But I genuinely just hope that you grow up and find a career you're happy in.

More than anyone I see on the internet, you deserve to live a life that you absolutely love, no matter what that might be.

I said it before that I always feel really obsessive when I send asks like this, and I feel creepy, so if I come off that way I'm sorry. I just try to make it a point to tell people when I enjoy them as a person.

Also I have some songs that kind of remind me of you.

The first one if Vienna by Billy Joel. I think the chances of you not knowing this one is very slim because it's such as popular song right now. But it's my favorite song and it reminds me of you.

The other one is read all about it by Emili Sande (pt 3 is the best) I think this song is also pretty popular, it also might not be, idk. But it's one of those songs that not a lot of people that I show it to like. Idk why. The vocals are weird (in my opinion) but I love the lyrics.

If you already know these songs just ignore this part :)

ME WHEN LIST ANON:

#bestie beloved my best friend my rotten soldier listen let me tell you something listen listen #every time you send an ask like this i read it and then REFUSE to answer it for a while #(sorry about that) #and i just hold onto it sometimes for weeks sometimes for MONTHS #and it sort of feels like it's just you and me and it feels so special and i come back and reread it #because you make me fall a little in love with myself? not in a narcissistic way #but just in such a tender soft 'maybe things are going to be okay' way #because for how dark and messy it feels to BE me i forget that no one else sees that #and the person i fought so hard to be is someone people... like??? and admire??? to THIS extent #even if it's just one person it's such a euphoric feeling i cant explain it #please never stop sending these i mean yes you can i doubt youve got much to say anymore bc bestie youve sent an ESSAY at this point #(<- that feels like it comes across judgey but i am trying v hard to convey the adoration i have for these asks so i promise it's not LMAO) #god i just. yeah. thank you. genuinely from the bottom of my heart thank you #okay tears wiped away hair fixed eyeliner partially smudged SONG RECS #WHO THE FUCK DID YOU REC READ ALL ABOUT IT TO AND THEY DIDNT LIKE IT???? i'll hunt them for sport fr #i was OBSESSED with that song when it came out like even as a kid ive had this audio thing #where i completely hyperfixate on audios and that often includes songs (why did i never clock i had adhd) #like i remember being like 8 years old and putting 'in the ghetto' by elvis presley on loop on my barbie stereo #and my dad was like why the fuck is she listening to THAT of all things on loop SKDJHJSH #but ANYWAY THIS SONG WAS ONE OF THOSE SONGS I TOTALLY LATCHED ONTO #I PLAYED IT HUNDREDS OF TIMES GENUINELY #and omg vienna. beloved beautiful song and you saying it reminded you of me actually made me realise how ur asks make me feel #ur asks make me feel like im a girl in a song and it's just such a <33333 mf u give me butterflies #kisses u kisses u kisses u #ask

[nepherit]

Justice for Raphael

I'm very new to Tumblr, I created an account here a few months ago after I discovered all the amazing Bg3-related art content that this place has to offer. Since then, I've never posted a single thing and barely left any comments, I'm not a very social person...but today I was scrolling my favorite bg3-related feed, when I stumbled upon a post of someone who received a rather rude ask from an anon whose sole purpose was to mock their works and insult their (possibly) favorite character Raphael, who was referred to by that anon as a "100% canon two pump chump bottom cringe clown". 

It is saddening to get yet another confirmation that some people out there aren't capable of respecting others' likes, not even in a fictional/virtual environment...but I guess that's to be expected. Besides the obvious, what made me decide to write this wall of text as my very first post is that Raphael happens to be my favorite too, the one and only fictional character I've ever felt invested in, and probably the reason why Bg3 will leave a life-long lasting impression on me.

So here I am, trying my best to point out some facts that (apparently) are easy to go amiss for some people out here:   First of all, there's nothing canon regarding what Haarlep says of Raphael, as a character's opinion about another isn't a fact to begin with. Especially if said character is (proved by facts) very unreliable as a source: him being an incubus whose standards are undoubtedly different from any mortals' and the fact that he hates Raphael are but the most obvious. Not to mention that "Speak with the dead" isn't 100% reliable either by D&D 5e rules ("the corpse is under no compulsion to offer a truthful answer if you are hostile to it or it recognizes you as an enemy"). Besides that, even if everything Haarlep says is to be considered true, the mocking words the players can say to Raphael before the fight are NOT, as Haarlep never gives such info to the player (he only responds with a "no" if asked about the matter). That line we can say before the fight is but the player's guess/ childish mockery, certainly it's not a fact.

From a purely objective perspective, the only info Haarlep gives to the player that isn't merely his opinion is Raphael's obvious selfishness and narcissism (the HoH is covered with images of him) and the fact that he likely only sleeps with himself (he has his incubus wearing his shape, even his name). By no means does that make Raphael a "cringe clown", nor would it even in the case where Haarlep spoke entirely the truth. Honestly, it never ceases to baffle me how some people can be so shortsighted and shallow. But perhaps those people are yet to grow up and come to learn that there can be much hidden beneath someone's (fictional or not) behavior. There's nothing to mock about the "Raphael only wants to sleep with himself and only loves himself" statement. 

How could it be otherwise? How, when the only person who ever loved Raphael, the only one he could trust and rely on since his birth, was himself? How could he crave someone's affection and so, be seen as weak? How could he care for another or their feelings when he never got that care or respect, to begin with? Despite his theatrics and his facade, Raphael was born Cambion, a half-breed never to be considered more than the lesser of the devils in the hierarchy of the Hells. Cambions cannot rank up, no matter their blood ties, yet Raphael managed to achieve all that he has...his palace, his many souls, and his power. None of that was gifted to him, he fought hard and earned every last bit of it with his claws, his wits, and his determination. I admire Raphael for that, for striving to become something greater than what he was supposed to be...something better than his father's "half-devil" son.

To reduce Raphael, who's most certainly one of the deepest and most complex characters we can encounter in the game, to a "100% canon two pump chump bottom cringe clown" is beyond low, very immature, and a rather shallow view, more so if it comes from someone who hasn't even had the guts to show their name...

Well, that's all. I doubt someone will make it this far, as I wrote a veeeeery long paragraph. But for once, I wanted to have my say ^^

#bg3 #baldur's gate 3 #bg3 raphael #raphael bg3 #baldur's gate 3 raphael #raphael the cambion #first post #fuck the haters

[peetapiepita]

Peeta isn't weak and doesn't actually need saving/protecting.

Peeta just wanted someone to fight for him his whole life. He didn't, in fact, need protection per se once he was out of the abusive household. But he never had anyone who would fight for him, so he lacked the confidence to fight for himself.

I always believed it was one of the reasons he admired Katniss so much as a teen. Katniss fought for Prim as hard as she could. Peeta wanted someone like that to fight for him.

But when he's actually close to Katniss, he doesn't want her to sacrifice herself for him, he said she wouldn't be doing him any favors by dying for him.

Then we have Katniss, whose instinct is to protect the ones she cares about. Peeta becomes the person she cares about the most except for Prim after the first games. Of course, she isn't going to give up on him just because he says he doesn't need her to.

Katniss protects Peeta because she loves him, because he protects her, not because Peeta is weak and needs protection. I hate it that I have to spell it out for people with no media literacy, but here you go.

#hunger games #the hunger games #thg #everlark #peeta mellark #katniss everdeen #thg meta

[a-d-nox]

Hiii<33 I hope you are taking composite requests! (Dm'ed u , the chart )

Venus, mars in 12th house composite .

& 11th house stellium .

Thank you <33333

11h planets in composite charts

i feel like this is a solid question and when i was looking at your composite i was like hmm perhaps we should just look at one house because it is pretty in depth for one house alone.

little disclaimer: i am just discussing the planets in the house. if you read the blurb and you are like "you are wrong"; i am going to be like you are are probably right because house rulers matter, and so do planetary aspects. so if you don't like might blurb, respectfully add to the discussion or please scroll.

so that being said, composite 11h can provide insight on the friendship dynamics in the connection, how well you work together, the goal of the relationship, and/or how societal beliefs effect the dynamics of the relationship.

sun

these friends have a ton of fun together - they are each other's entertainment. they seem to be in their own world with one another. on the outside, it looks like no work gets done, but in reality, they are helping each other to grow and blossom. these people often appear as popular to outsiders, as well. but truly, there is no beating the fact that they value each other the way they do. they find joy when they are doing things together. and they are extremely loyal towards one another.

moon

this connection changes over time. in fact, they might not have been close friends with each other at first. it could be that they were cold towards one another at first. but that evolves into them growing to love and care for one another very much. i think to see this in fem relationships - it often reminds me of women supporting other women. they are often very kind and responsive towards one another's needs in the relationship. but there tends to be fluctuations in when they see one another - it might just be "once in a blue moon". they tend to be the kind of friends that it doesn't matter how much time passes - they pick up right where they left off.

mercury

i see a lot of these friendships go one of two ways - good or bad haha. good connections will communicate often with one another. they confess if they are in the wrong or know someone is saying something about the other person. there is a dialogue as opposed to a monologue - they have a good repartee. they learn from one another. they often whisper with one another during an event like they are in their own little world together. a bad connection will have each person absentmindedly saying things about one another that cause harm. they argue with one another without actually listening to what is being said. they can be forgetful about what is important to each other. they spread gossip that is harmful about each other or other people. they are might keep receipts about each other. you might ask a "friend" with this type of composite what it is like and they will say they feel "smothered" by the other person.

venus

these two look up to each other and often admire each other to the highest degree. this is a "besties" placement in my eyes. they are likely to make compromises that work for both of them. they might even evolve into lovers - people tend to sense attraction between them. you will rarely see these two without each other at a social gathering. they simply enjoy each others company. the exchange that occurs between them is very sweet. they are the type of friends that share everything with one another.

mars

these two are hard to figure out. are you friends? enemies? is there sexual tension? i don't know, haha. the interactions always have an underlining abrasiveness to them; like they are bickering, about to fight, or just fought with each other. i also see this in pairs who have been bullied by each other or someone is an aggressor in the connection ( @danihodgs i will get back to your ask next month / later but here is a little taste for the meantime! ). there seems to be a bit of hate or impatience for each other that exists in the connection. otherwise, these are the friends that do very impulsive things together. they might be each other's biggest cheerleaders as they want one another to succeed. they also tend to have a lot of shared passions.

jupiter

these two met by chance and now the connection is sure to stick. naturally, they give each other a lot of chances and frequently apologize to one another when they accidentally offend/trigger each other. they want to be honest, sincere, and respectful with each other. they recognize that they can both benefit from each others wisdom and mercy - you can't just find that in any friendship. they take pride in having a friendship with one another and are the ones to be like "we are best friends" in the most serious manner - while venus is like "*we're besties <3!*".

saturn

either these two have been friends for a very long term and infrequently see or talk with one another OR there is a story... often i have heard people say that the friendship just evaporated. they likely have a level of contempt/frustration for them - "they are dead to me" is the energy. apathy is there for the aloof friend who disappeared - the long silence has made them feel neglected and as if they can't trust the "friend". once there is a reason for a grudge to be had - it is all over.

uranus

these people often know each other from hanging out in the same circle of people. they might belong to the same club, be colleagues, etc. often this connection is not the deepest because it does allow them to have freedom and independence from on another. this is a very no strings attached type of acquaintanceship. they meet unexpectedly from time to time as well, like they constantly run into their colleague at the grocery store then they exchange niceties.

neptune

these two are hooligans. this reminds me of sorority sisters or fraternity brothers ("the pretend family" made at college or a found/chosen sister or brother made by circumstance, like a very tight knit bond framed by a custom). there might be a illusion of closest with these two - they tend to not know each other as well as it appears they do. often it is a vague association with one another that ties them together. i also feel like it is common for them to imitate one another - it gives fan behavior to me and sort of reminds me of maddy and cass on euphoria.

pluto

partners in crime energy. it might also be one person being an aggravator, while the other is an accomplice. i am not a fan of this planet when it comes to "friendships". they just end up being the worst for each other. they sooner become cell mates than much else. when it comes to activities, i feel like they are always up to something questionable and reckless. on the positive side, they can change each other for the better, if they are mature and have good intentions.

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#astrology #astro community #astro placements #astro chart #natal chart #astrology tumblr #astrology chart #astrology readings #natal astrology #astro notes #astro observations #astroblr #composite observations #composite charts #composite chart #composite #compatibility #11h

[dangerouslyknown]

I love how you write for the admirals! I’ve read them so many times XD But I’ve been craving something with a little more angst.

Could I request the admirals reacting to their s/o passing away in battle? (maybe even a targeted attack they weren’t fast enough to intercept?)

Scenario: Admirals reacting to their S/O passing away in battle

I am back babyyyyy!! And thank you for your request :) I hope y'all like what I wrote! It has been a while since I wrote any scenarios.

Warnings: Death, violence (nothing too graphic) & angst (kinda)

Borsalino / Kizaru

The ongoing battle was nothing out of the ordinary. He has done this a million times before and not a single thought was given to the idea that something could happen. He had your back and you had his. You were a great team together. He fought with his usual attitude without a care, next to you… Until.

A flash of fear traveled through his whole body as he saw someone appear out of nowhere, charging a powerful looking attack towards you. He rushed towards you, trying to block the attack but the attack was way too quick, even for him.

His pupils dilated. Your lifeless body fell on the ground in front of him. He stood there in shock for a brief moment, processing what just happened.

His legs got weak all of a sudden and he almost fell on his knees, but he kept himself together. He tried so hard to keep a calm face. I´d generally view him as a logical person who doesn't let his emotions take over him, but in this moment anger, sadness and confusion took over him.

He charged towards your killer, attacking them almost recklessly. If you'd still be around to see his face, you would just see this maniac look on his face. He kept attacking until the killer was dead for sure. After that, he seemed surprisingly calm again. He returned to your dead body and kneeled down, looking at you. He realized that killing your killer didn't make him feel  any better.

"How dare you leave me," he said with a laugh. And for a moment he smiled, until the corners of his mouth quivered as he held back tears, trembling.

Sakazuki / Akainu

His job as a Fleet Admiral is fairly dangerous. He has many enemies and even most Marines probably dislike him, so his top priority is to keep you off the battlefield. This one time it was not possible though.

He fought proudly, making sure that no one even glances at you. The enemies teamed up on him and he was busy dealing with them for a moment when a pirate sneaked closer to you, pointing a gun at you. Sakazuki finished up the teamers and as he turned his head towards you, he immediately sensed danger. 

He rushed towards you, grabbing that damn pirate, but in that exact moment the pirate shot his bullet. Bang. Sakazuki heard your body hit the ground while still charging forward, tightening his grip on the pirate´s neck.

His anger levels went through the roof in milliseconds and he groaned loudly as he realized what had happened. He burned that pirate with his boiling magma and then launched a huge attack, letting out an angry scream over the top of his lungs.

Then he stood there, breathing heavily and superficially. He felt anger, hatred even. Hatred towards the whole world. Hatred towards himself for being so weak. 

"I couldn't keep you safe. What a foolish man I am,” he said as he took his cap off, staring at the ground covered in blood. “I despise myself for letting this happen.”

Kuzan / Aokiji

He doesn't like fighting more than he needs to, but he is always there to protect you. It's a drag for him to deal with enemies, but he does it despite complaining the whole time. Luckily most of the people who attack you two are fairly weak compared to him.

Nothing unusual happened as the enemies came, making him sigh at the bother of dealing with them once again. He chatted and protected you with the powers of the ice fruit, while you both were unaware that one of the attackers was a pirate which had quite a bounty on his head. The pirate broke through his ice, catching him completely off-guard.

Pirate damaged him slightly in the process, but before he could react in any way, the pirate had made their way towards you. He saw the situation in slow-motion, he saw how the pirate took your life…

In the matter of seconds, you were dead right in front of him. The pirate held your dead body, then pushed it away from them, towards Kuzan. He catched your body in his arms and held you, looking at you in disbelief. He kept repeating your name, trying to wake you up as the pirates fled.

You were not responding. He swallowed, feeling a thigh pressure in his chest. A tear ran down his cheek. He felt guilty for your death, but mostly sad.

He held you closer to him. "Seems like I failed. I am so sorry my love. I don’t know how I let myself be so easy-going and take things for granted." 

Issho / Fujitora

You accompany him on the missions he is on regularly. It's mostly not dangerous at all, but there are exceptions. During this mission, it wasn't long until you two were in the middle of a battle. 

Things escalated quickly and soon he had to go almost all out, bringing a meteorite to finish it all up. He is a wise person with a good battle IQ, but there was one thing he didn’t consider before launching his attack. The enemies were strong enough to slice up the meteorite.

And that is exactly what happened. He knew he messed up when he sensed it happening. He screamed your name, trying to get you to avoid it, but still. A piece of a burning meteorite flew right at you and despite him being strong and aware of the situation, he couldn’t react fast enough.

Your voice disappeared. He couldn’t detect you any more. Panic and regret filled his mind as he continued fighting. The meteorite wasn’t supposed to hit you, it was supposed to hit the enemies!

The battle continued, but he put his sword away. His hands were shaking and he tried to contain himself. He had a lump in his throat that felt like it blocked his talking and even breathing. He knew not to freak out, but he desperately tried to sense your presence. No success. The guilt and sadness were slowly gaining a mix of anger as well. 

“You are gone, my dear. And there is no one else to blame than myself. I sincerely hope you are able to forgive me, wherever you are.”

#one piece admirals #one piece #fujitora #kizaru #akainu #aokiji #kuzan #borsalino #sakazuki #issho #one piece scenarios #one piece admiral scenarios #dangerouslyknown #kizaru x reader #fujitora x reader #akainu x reader #aokiji x reader #im back #one piece marines #sfw #angst kinda #one piece imagines #one piece fandom #the admirals #op admirals #dangerouslyknownworks #dangerouslyscenarios

[atdawnweryd]

Lucia Appreciation Post

I wasn't in the fandom when S1 came out so hopefully this isn't something that everyone has already rehashed to death, but! I want to give some love, and my own interpretation to the S1 Lucia scene.

First of all, I know we can all agree that it is a thing of pure beauty artistically! But beyond that it's such a great scene because of how it shows a very critical moment in Simon and Wille's relationship:

We know that Simon is a caring person. This is one of his core characterizations that comes into play over and over again throughout the series (eg taking on the role of protector to Sara; playing peacemaker for his mother and Sara when they are not understanding each other well, and then working hard to make sure Sara keeps in touch with their mother while she's living at Hillerska; giving Wille 2nd, 3rd, 4th chances after he gets skittish and pulls away in S1, then not allowing Wille to believe he and Marcus are dating because it will make Wille sad. The list goes on!). Seeing someone he cares about hurting or needing help is something that Simon cannot turn his back on, he truly believes in giving people chances to grow.

So, as the scene starts there is a big conflict happening within Simon, and you can see it clearly in the amazing acting by Omar. When they walk into the classroom, he has already calmed down significantly from the anger he was previously feeling- now that he knows that he's not going to get expelled - but he's still upset. He's not shouting or defensive anymore like he was in the music room, he's listening, but still skeptical of Wille's intentions. He maintains a physical separation between them that shows clearly that all is not forgiven yet.

Wille has really hurt him here by allowing Simon to be put into a position where he might be expelled. Where the rich kids would get away with it while the outsider feels all the consequences. More importantly, Wille showed Simon that he didn't understand or anticipate how upsetting that would be for him during their argument in the music room.

But now Wille responds with honesty and sincerity. He doesn't try to beg, plead or excuse his actions, or worse - try and convince Simon that it wasn't a big deal, minimizing his feelings.

And you can see how much that resonates with Simon here. You can see his defensiveness melt away, leaving him feeling a little lost on how to proceed. Does he just forgive Wille right way? Is it enough? Is this relationship even worth it if this is the kind of B.S. he's going to be exposed to around Wille?

But Wille continues. He opens up and makes himself vulnerable to Simon, revealing how important Simon and their relationship are to him.

He tears up, showing just how scared he is of losing Simon. And Simon, who is a caregiver at heart, can't help but respond to that.

(Me too fr, let's have a brief moment of admiration for Edvin's acting and unreal kicked puppy eyes!)

This following moment right here is so important!! The emotional climax of the scene in my opinion.

You can see it in Simon's eyes, the exact moment when he gives in - when he realizes that his feelings for Wille and his need to comfort Wille overpower his own feelings of hurt and frustration.

But it's not an easy decision for him - he looks almost pained, like he has fought a battle with himself and lost. Like maybe he had no choice at all, this was only going to end one way....

He pulls Wille into an embrace, and it's forgiveness, emotional release, and relief that this is not the end of them. Relief mixed with a very strong feeling on both their parts that their relationship has taken on a new dimension.

Before, they had admitted to liking each other, but their relationship was limited to lighthearted (and sexy) hookups, teasing, and generally enjoying each other's company. The honeymoon phase.

But this is the first time their relationship has been affected by external influences outside their control. It's been put to the test, and although they choose to overcome it together, it leaves them shaken.

Wille gets his first taste of reality - that Simon comes from a different world and does not see things from the same perspective, nor will he put their relationship above his family or his morals (ok yeaaa it's going to take a few more lessons for this one to fully sink in, but I said first taste!). Simon is not a sure thing.

And Simon realizes that being with Wille is not all fun and games, but it's something he wants anyways.

This conflict is unpleasant and jarring for them, but ultimately leads to a better understanding of one another, and new depth in their relationship.

They end this scene with a kiss that is pure comfort. Wille, who craves touch from Simon when he needs reassurance of closeness, goes in for one quick kiss before he pulls back slightly, and they just breathe each other in, Simon lightly stroking Wille's hair and cheek. We very much get the sense that there is an intensity between them that wasn't there before.

This scene was necessary to have before their video was leaked and everything went to hell. I don't know that Simon would have been so certain about sticking it out with Wille, or that Wille would have tried defying his mother for Simon if they hadn't gotten this taste of being apart first, cementing their desire for this relationship.

Because Simon is a very good, caring person, yes. But - he's not a bleeding heart who will stick their neck out for just anyone (for example, he doesn't exactly seem bothered that Alexander's going to be thrown under the bus instead of himself). He's the kind of person who generally prefers to mind their own business unless he or a loved one is involved.

I think that this scene is the first time Simon consciously realizes that he's in a bit over his head with Wille, that the depth of his feelings for him far surpasses what he had believed. Because Wille is now one of those people whose needs Simon will put before his own. He has become a loved one.

#they love each other your honor #this scene is everything #young royals #young royals analysis #simon eriksson #wilhem #wilmon #lucia #long post

[statementlou]

Maybe you can help me understand. The LATAM promo content has been great in my opinion in quantity and quality. Louis looks relaxed and his answers show thought, humility and maturity, and with his usual sass and humor. This is the most he has shared of himself since his solo career started.

So it's become a real surprise when I've read a few anons write to blogs saying they don't like the person Louis has become, and they like 1D Louis. Another said that they think his persona has gotten "progressively worse and worse". And I'm like, did you not see the years and years of being pushed aside, of being told he had a bad voice, of no support from radio, of stunts, etc fighting for his career. And did they not watch or read his interviews?? So many interviewers during this past week have complimented Louis.

Louis can never win.

I agree, it can really feel like people are just not actually seeing the same content as we are and it's hard not to feel like some of this is that they AREN'T seeing it, like people go way too much off blogs' (often very wild) interpretations of what Louis says and how he says it rather than just listening to him talk or watching him interact with fans. Or maybe it's that they have been believing in these made up versions of him when he hasn't been around for a minute and now that actual Louis reappears it doesn't match up with those ideas and they feel shocked and upset. But if people are saying he isn't the same as he was in 1D well, it's hard not feel like they were NEVER paying attention and are just talking about the made up image of him that was sold by 1DHQ (or saying they don't like him unless he's twinky and flamboyant.) Louis said he "were a lot sweeter back then" and maybe so but in all the core ways, I think he's just the same as he has always been. If people don't like how that looks now that's their right, but he's not gonna be 19 again and he's fought hard to get to decide for himself what image he wants to project and has said over and over that he won't be going back to the 1D version of that, so maybe go find someone else to follow, IDK. Me, I'll just be over here sitting back and admiring what he's like now. I think he's the same as every time he does promo (charming, chill, funny, introspective and smart and willing to share little glimpses of emotional honesty)! It's been a while since he's done so much promo and with so much content to enjoy just now I hope more people will tune into that rather than interpretations of it and discover that for themselves. I am gonna disagree with you about one thing though: Louis CAN and IS winning, 100%, right now in front of our very fucking eyes!!! So who cares about the haters :)

#maybe if you just sit back and admire what Louis is like you'll chill out anons! #anyway I mean... unfollow unfollow unfollow blacklist etc forget the haters who needs to see all that #the only reason I was ranting about bad opinions I don't usually SEE the other day #is because MY POST was getting tons of notes with people's terrible takes so I woke up to an activity feed full of Opinions

[damn-stark]

Chapter 7 Blood on our hands

Tragedy at the Miller’s chapter 7

A/N- someone’s serving c*nt this chapter, so much so that uncle Tommy would be proud. Also there’s one more chapter coming up!

Warning- ANGST, swearing, blood and wounds, violence, long chapter, fluff :)

Pairing- Joel Miller x daughter!reader, OC x fem!reader, Henry x Fem!reader

Episode- 1x09

(If you want to be tagged let me know!)

————

“Y/N, it’s been a long time,” she says with nonchalance as if her men didn’t just attack you. “Sorry—”

“Where are they?” You cut Marlene off without caring whatever was going to come out of her mouth, without trying to be nice in any way because you knew what being here meant. You were once a Firefly after all, and you can’t be naive anymore.

Marlene sighs. “Your dad is a couple floors above, and Ellie,” she pauses briefly, but it’s enough for you to find suspicion. “Is getting prepped for surgery.”

What?

You blink in confusion and probe immediately. “What are you talking about surgery?”

Marlene sighs, and you ignore your throbbing headache to stand up and shoot her a pointed glare. “Marlene?” You press. “What are you talking about? What’s happening to Ellie?”

“I’ve known you since you were young, when your uncle and you joined us to try and better humanity through all the darkness,” she avoids answering your question, only adding concern and making your annoyance begin to grow. “You left, and I can’t imagine it’s been easy. I mean you’re with your dad again.”

You scoff and stop in your steps before you can get closer to her to let her explain what she’s trying to say.

“But I like to think I still know you,” she continues and takes a step closer to you. “That you still have that same hope for humanity that once blazed in you so bright. I mean I used to admire it, wonder how someone so young still held on through it all. You were an inspiration for a lot of us.” She smiles faintly.

As presumptuous as she is you still have no clue what she’s trying to get at with this sweet talking. What does all this have to do with your question about Ellie?

“Marlene,” you interject. “What are you trying to get at?”

Marlene smirks faintly. “There’s hope y/n. All we fought so hard for has finally accumulated to something bigger than ourselves. All the people we lost finally have meaning, it means that we no longer have to lose anyone else to this virus.”

You narrow your gaze, but not out of more confusion, the words she spoke now are beginning to make sense and pointing to one thing, one person; Ellie.

“Our doctor, he thinks that the Cordyecps in Ellie has grown with her since birth. It produced a kind of chemical messenger. It makes normal Cordyceps think she’s Cordyceps. It’s why she’s immune.”

Okay? So what? Sure you never figured out why exactly she was different, but what does this have to do with anything? Can't they just run their tests and then get what they need, and let you all leave?

She doesn’t have to stay does she? Not if she doesn’t want to?

“He’s gonna remove it from her,” she continues to add, causing you to scoff softly in disbelief at the sound of her words. “Multiply the cells in a lab. Produce those chemical messengers…and then we can give it to everyone.”

It can work? It will work.

Making a cure will work. There was no doubt about that, but what about Ellie? Cordyceps grow in the brain, if they remove it from her that means that…that…Ellie’s life will come to an end? A life for humanity's salvation. And not just any life, her life. The life of the girl that has been like a sister to you, the girl who saved your own life after Henry died, the girl who helped you find the light in the darkness you had gotten lost in after Sarah died. That same girl.

If they get the cure that means Ellie dies….

All this time you believed, truly believed that it was somehow in the blood, that they’d want to keep her with them forever which is why you wanted her to have a choice between staying or leaving, but now; by the sounds of Marlene’s long talk it seems that they don’t want to give her a choice between living and dying.

Should you?

Sam died because of that same damn virus. You’ve had close friends die; good friends. Their deaths will all have meaning. And this is why you came in the first place, to see Ellie off. Life could be a fraction of what you once knew. There can be peace….

You sigh deeply and step back to sit back down on the couch and drop your head, and repeat everything she said to think about the outcomes.

“You can leave,” she adds and continues to approach you. “Now with your dad, we’ll return your packs and guns, give you a car. Or you can stay and see this through with us. Just tell your dad to leave without a fight.”

No matter how you spin things in your mind, it all ends up coming to the same thing, the same person, Ellie.

“What about her?” You finally break your silence and lift your head to meet her gaze.

Marlene swallows thickly and assures you. “We didn’t tell her, we didn’t cause her any fear, and she won’t suffer any pain.”

They didn’t tell her, so what? They don’t need to run more tests? They’re just going to throw her on the medical table and just what? Kill her now?

“Just like that?” You share your thoughts. “No more tests or nothing?”

Marlene shakes her head. “No, the doctor has all he needs.”

You blink rapidly in disbelief, feeling your annoyance and anger heighten.

“So?” You spat. “You’re just going to murder her. You’re not gonna ask what she wants?” You stand up and look at Marlene with a pointed glare, making her step back, and causing a man to push the door open to peek inside. “Immune or not, Ellie is still a human. Have you cared to ask her for her choice? Have you cared to, I don’t know, wait it out? For-for a different alternative,” it slips mindlessly. “One that doesn't involve her to die?”

Marlene lets out a slow deep breath and retorts. “We can’t put the fate of humanity up for gamble for one person.”

It hits you now, like a slap to the face. What good is peace without her? Why did you debate that before? After all Sam and the others are gone already, what good will the cure be for them now?

Sure if giving her life for that hope is something she wants then you won’t fight her, it’s her choice and her choice alone. But if she wants to fight then you’ll fight with her.

“I want to see her,” you blurt and take another step towards Marlene as you can scan the room for your weapons and backpack. “Let me talk to her.”

Marlene’s hopeful look fades away, and annoyance replaces it. “I’m sorry,” she counters. “But I can’t let you do that. It’s going to happen. You can either be a part of it or keep risking your life in this broken world.”

You scoff and take one step towards her. “I just need to give her a choice, humanity has lived through an outbreak for 20 years. I'm sure they can live through a few more minutes, months, years. I don’t care,” you scoff with a scowl on your face and a fury filled glare that makes Marlene uncomfortable. “All I care about right now is her. My dad can take care of himself, you know that.” You smirk. “You know how he is. I know him, he won’t let Ellie die, he’ll fight everyone in this hospital before that happens, but if being the sacrifice is what Ellie wants then I’m the only one who can talk him through it and make him leave without shedding blood. Give me that.”

Marlene holds your gaze and stands in silence as she thinks of what you have to offer.

Yet she doesn’t linger too long and breaks from her stupor to respond back with disappointment in her eyes. “No. And if you’re willing to gamble humanity’s fate then you’re a danger now.” Marlene walks back, and the man walks in with a rifle clung around him and a cuffs in one hand.

You try to swerve past him, but he swings his rifle and smacks your side hard, causing you to stumble and groan, and then letting him grab your wrists to try and cuff your hands together. However, you fight through your sudden pain, and just as he’s about to throw the cuff around one wrist you hastily bite down on his hand hard, causing him to yelp and then let your arm go to slap you across the face with his other hand.

“Y/N! Stop it!” You hear Marlene intervene from the door, but you ignore her and roll your head up to shoot the man a wide grin whilst blood trickles down the cut he made on the corner of your lip, and the blood that trickles out of your nose because of that slap. His face contorts to bewilderment as he holds his hand, so you then slap your hands on his rifle and throw it up to hit him again and again on the face.

Quick footsteps approach thereafter, but you don’t pay attention and instead pull the pistol out of the man’s holster to smack him hard on the head and knock him out. You then spin around on your feet and point your gun at Marlene.

“Had you asked me to give up Ellie a year ago, I would have let you kill her,” you admit. “I was…in a dark place, but I found the one thing that the fireflies are so fond of. I found my own hope; in someone who taught me to love me again,” you smile softly. “Who taught me that it’s okay to love in this cruel world. It’s because of him that my answer changes now. It’s because of him that I let myself love her. I’m sorry you can’t find that.”

The door pushes open and two more armored goons walk in pointing their rifles at you. You try to look for a way through—maybe you can trick them and then slide past them at the last minute to quickly close the door and lock them in—Shooting them won’t work, you shoot one and the other shoots you. You can grab her! That’s right, and threaten her life.

“I'll ask you once more,” you add and fix your stance to get ready. “Let me talk to her. She decides that she wants to do this, then I’ll leave with my dad and never look back. If she says no then well…” you trail off and sigh.

Marlene shakes her head and just as she’s going to say something you kick her knee, making her lose her aim and stumble. You proceed to snatch her gun away from her hand before you kick her down to the ground and point both guns at her.

“Let me pass,” you spat at them and reach down to grab Marlene’s arm and yank her up. “She’s gonna take me to Ellie, I just want to talk.” You press one gun on her back to push her forward as you take one step ahead. “Move or I'll shoot her.”

Both men lift their arms and step aside, letting you keep pushing Marlene forward as you carefully keep walking out of the room. However, just before you can make it out, you manage to hear feet shuffle behind you so you quickly look back, and just as you do, you barely miss one of the man’s knife.

He tries to stab the back of your throat, but you quickly manage to swerve to avoid getting impaled. Albeit the knife still cuts the side of your neck, making you gasp from shock and let go of the guns to grab at your wound that was spilling out blood. You then stumble back and look around in desperation, without knowing what to do.

At the sound of the commotion and lack of gun to her back, Marlene turns around and immediately reacts in shock and anger. “Oh my god,” she gasps, and quickly squeezes her hands on your wound. “Get the fucking first aid! Do you have any idea what you just did?!” She yells at the man who had sliced the side of your neck while she walks you back to the couch. “It’s okay,” she assures you. “Well stitch you up, you’ll be fine.”

“But,” one of the men stammers.

Marlene snaps her head back and spats back. “Do you have any idea what her father is capable of? You’re lucky you didn’t kill her. God only knows what he’d do if you did.” She looks back at you as you’re sitting in shock and shoots you a pointed glare. “This doesn’t change anything. You’re still dangerous, and the only reason I’m not killing you is because of Tommy.”

You try to scoff to counter her, but you’re too scared that any ragged breath or any big breath will make more blood spill out, so you just sit still and catch the man coming in hesitantly with first aid supplies.

However, instead of having Marlene help stitch up your gash, she makes the man do it since she gets up and instead hooks the cuffs around your wrists before you could put up a fight again.

“I’m sorry,” she takes advantage of your silence. “I really wish we could’ve seen eye to eye on this.” She turns to to leave, but you stop her with your interjection.

“My dad,” you whisper to not add too much strain on your neck while the man stops the bleeding. “What’s going to happen to him?”

Marlene sighs. “Let’s just say I don't have the same mercy for him that I have for you.”

——

*NOT MUCH LATER*

Clinking metal echoes out, again and again. Clink.

Clink.

Clink. And clink.

Due to the fact that you’re restrained, weaponless, and have a gash on the side of your neck, making your next move has been slow. You’ve been trying to have hope that Marlene will come to her senses and let Ellie have her choice, because after all it’s her life they’re trying to sacrifice without consent. But in all your waiting there’s been nothing.

You can’t even count on your dad to come through that door in peace, he cares too much about Ellie without a fight, and unless it’s all been some act then you know he won’t agree to Marlene’s choice either. Not unless you talk to him, but that’s impossible now that Marlene thinks of you as dangerous. So what to do?

What to do?

Beg?

Won’t work.

Yell?

No.

You can’t just sit here either and wait it out, your dads life is at risk considering Marlene hinted that she wouldn't hesitate killing him, Ellie’s life is also at risk with only so little time left to get to her and let her decide what she wants before they murder her. So what is there left to do?

You’d be lying if you said that you haven’t thought of letting the doctors just make the cure without asking Ellie what she wants, because it has. Mainly because of Sam’s fate, but what sister would you be if you didn’t try to at least fight for her?

What the fireflies want is understandable, a future, a cure! But the way they want it isn’t right, it’s murder! Ellie deserves a choice. No matter how much love you harbor for her, no matter how selfish you want to be, you want it to be her choice; If she wants to live her life she can, if she wants to be salvation…she can. So how can you give that to her before they murder her?

You look at the door and keep banging your cuffs against the cabinets harder in hopes they’d get annoyed and come in so you can talk to them, but they don’t react, leaving you with the one option you didn’t want to commit. Violence.

With what?

You look down at your hands—-choking them won’t be enough, so you keep looking until you see one small object, a pen left on the desk.

Press hard enough and a pen can be stabbed in a person's eye, or a throat deep enough to end their life. It can work.

Then again you have no other choice but to use it…

You exhale and push yourself off the couch to snatch the pen off the desk and tuck it in your sleeve before you walk to the door and begin pounding it. “Hey!” You call for their attention as loud as you can without using too much muscle on your neck. “Hey! Please! I need help! Please, it's my stitches!” You stop and wait.

But nothing.

“Hey,” you keep begging as you keep hitting the door. “Come on, it’s my stitches, my neck is bleeding! Ima bleed to death!” You slam your forehead against the door and listen.

This time you hear feet shift before keys jingle and the door knob begins to turn, causing you to step back behind the door. The guard then opens the door slowly and steps in.

“Hey,” she immediately notices that you’re nowhere to be seen, so before she can make more commotion you push the door closed. The guard gets startled and immediately spins around to face you, but she only catches your threatening scowl before you lunge towards her and swing your cuffed fists up her jaw, and then slam down on her nose before you kick her down, and lastly slam your foot on her face again.

“I’m going to give you a choice,” you share ironically. “Take me to Ellie with no bloodshed, or…” you trail off and let her guess what comes after that threat.

The guard narrows her gaze and lets go of her gun to slowly lift her arms to show her willingness.

However, that’s what she wants you to believe because just as you’re about to move your foot, she suddenly swings her boot up and kicks you in the back, just on the end of your tailbone. You proceed to quickly stumble back in silence in order not to alert whoever is out in the hall. The guard then counters her own move by swinging her leg under your feet and tripping you.

You fall on your back, and the pen you hid in your sleeve slides back out of reach. The guard then gets off the ground, so you don't linger in your pain and flip around just as she reaches for her gun.

The pen manages to slide back down to your hand, luckily, so since the guard has orders not to shoot you, you let her approach you, you let her grab your arm to try and yank you up. But just as she gets you on your feet, you draw in a deep breath as you clench your jaw, and then swiftly twist your upper body around and use as much force as you can muster to stab the pen on the side of her neck.

The guard immediately lets go of her weapons and begins to choke on her own blood. Luckily since the pen goes in deep enough she can’t scream so she doesn’t alert anyone, she just gurgles as she falls on her knees. All while you exhale and step back from her to just watch her fall as she chokes on her own blood.

“I just need to give her a choice,” you mutter to the dying guard as if trying to reason her death. “You had yours.” You swallow thickly and reach down for the keys to quickly get out of the cuffs, you then grab her body and flip her around to lay her on her back.

“For whatever it is worth I am sorry,” you murmur as you watch her take her last breath.

She made her choice. She chose to fight, so you fought back….

So before anyone else can come you take her coat off her body. It has fresh blood on the front, but it’s not too much, plus you just need it to get out of here without gaining unwanted attention—

“Shots fired!” You get startled by the sound of a static voice coming from a walkie clung on her belt loop. “Shots fired on level 4! All able bodied personal come to level 4!”

Shit. Shit.

It has to be, there’s no one else who has the balls to shoot up the fucking hospital.

Your dad took action already. Fuck! Fuck.

Quickly you zip up the coat and throw on the hood to cover as much of your face as you can. You then reach down for the guards gun and realize it’s your fucking rifle!

Do people think it’s something that can just be passed around?! Fuck her.

Regardless, you step over her body and stop just in front of the door to listen as footsteps run past the room to reach level 4.

However, all except one stops. “Miranda!” They knock on the door. “Marlene says to keep the girl there!”

The person goes quiet, and your heart begins to pound in your ears as the terror that hits you paralyzes you.

You look at the end of the doorway to watch their shadow, and hold your breath as they wait.

“Did you get that Miranda?!” They question.

You slowly begin to raise the gun and point it at the door as you keep your gaze on the end of the door.

There should be no one else out there, the gunshot will mix with the ones you now hear in the distance, so no one will come running. No one will find her until you’re gone.

Therefore, you reach one hand for the knob to open the door and just shoot. But luckily the person runs off, letting you sigh with relief and hang the gun around your shoulder to instead wait until you can’t hear her footsteps anymore to then open the door.

And just in case anyone is out in the hall you make a sharp turn out of the room and head to the elevators for faster transportation so your dad doesn’t do any further harm, before he steals that choice from Ellie.

Moreover, when you do walk outside you spot your backpack on the desk, so you quickly side step towards it to keep your back turned against the hall behind you, and quickly snatch it from the counter.

There’s no questions as to your actions, no other noises, so it must be clear. You don’t want to check either, so you take advantage of the silence in this hall and stride directly towards the elevator. You then wait for a second and when there continues to be nothing you quickly press on the up button, hear the ding from the sign above and wait with your hand around your gun strap.

When the elevator gets to your floor you draw in a nervous breath, and reach for your necklace, but find your neck bare since your dad still has them. Or at least you hope. You haven’t really paid much attention to his neck. There’s been too much on your mind since leaving the resort.

Regardless, as the elevator slowly begins to open you leave your gaze on the ground until there’s enough room for you to walk in.

Albeit, when you look up to walk in the elevator, you don’t end up moving since you catch Marlene inside. Fuck! Fuck!

You rapidly raise your gun to point it at Marlene, but she’s fast too and raises her pistol to point at you too.

“Put the gun down y/n,” Marlene orders with her gun pointed at your chest. “Now.”

You raise your chin, and ignore her threat and her gun to hold her gaze.

“Put the fucking gun down, or I will shoot you.”

You narrow your gaze on her and hold your ground without saying a word.

“This attitude is why you made a perfect firefly,” she mutters and takes a careful step towards you. “That's why I know you won’t be stupid right now.”

You quirk up a brow and shoot her a smirk so she can try you.

And Marlene does, she reaches for your gun, but you don’t hesitate to hit the trigger either.

However, she’s quick, she’s smart. She catches your action and slaps her hand around your wrist to quickly twist it up so the bullet instead makes a dent on the ceiling.

You yelp as she keeps your shooting arm twisted, and Marlene proceeds to disarm you and then shove you back to the wall behind you to point the gun on your head.

“I also know your dad,” she interjects through gritted teeth, and yanks you off the wall to push you ahead of her so you’ll be facing the elevator doors that close now as the sign above glows. “He won’t leave without you. So why not wait for him here?”

She presses her gun at the back of your head and keeps your hand twisted, bringing a writhing pain that makes your eyes water and doesn’t let you fight back. She forces you to wait there outside of the elevator doors because just like she expected the elevator comes to a stop on the floor you’re on.

Part of you hoped that it wasn’t actually him, that he didn’t actually kill Ellie’s choice. The people well, their deaths are tragic but they’re not that significant, it’s her that you care about the most—So that part of you, the part that cares, also wants it to be him too because it also meant that he saved Ellie from being killed. But you mostly hope it’s not him.

You lower your gaze to avoid seeing the person behind the doors out of that same anxiety. When you watch the doors open all you can see is boots, boots you’ve seen on one person for months. It’s him. Yet you still don’t face him, besides now that deep rooted feeling of shame begins to seep back due to the situation you’re stuck in.

“I’ll give you a choice, Joel,” Marlene doesn’t hesitate to output and twists your arm more, causing you to cry out softly, and making your dad step out of the elevator at the sound of you in pain.

“Leave with Ellie and watch your daughter die,” Marlene continues to say her bargain. “Or save your daughter, leave with her, and leave Ellie behind.” She presses the gun harder against your head, and you now slowly lift your eyes, noticing Ellie unconscious in his arms, confirming what you were afraid he’d do, what you couldn’t stop. You then lift your gaze to his face and notice his hardened glare focused on Marlene.

He then feels your stare and shifts his gaze to meet yours, making you, at that moment feel that same shame heighten in you to the point you break. “I’m sorry,” you mutter through thick tears. “I’m sorry, dad.” You shake your head, and notice his eyes soften as hears your unneeded apology. “It was my fault, I’m sorry.”

Your dad shakes his head to assure you of the opposite, he’s going to speak, but then Marlene interjects. “She’s your only daughter Joel. Real daughter. Your little girl. Ellie is nothing to you but cargo, take y/n. I’ll give you a car and weapons,” she offers in exchange even after you assume he killed the other fireflies; considering that none of them have joined you on this floor—“Give me Ellie, wait for the cure to be distributed and live a happy life. Watch y/n have the life she wants, watch her have an actual career, watch her get married, have kids. She will no longer have to suffer, isn’t that what you want? What every parent wants?” She asks. “Doesn’t she deserve that?”

Not if it means murdering Ellie, that’s clear to you even if your own life is on the line. You would never live in peace knowing that you let them kill her without her choosing her own fate, or without saying goodbye.

“And doesn’t Ellie deserve a choice?” You retort in annoyance. “You think of yourself as so high and mighty, but you can’t fathom the thought of letting Ellie choose for herself.”

“To do what?” Marlene redirects and sways to the side. “You can’t keep her safe forever. No matter how hard you try, no matter how many people you kill, she’s gonna grow up. And then you’ll die. She’ll leave. Then what? How long till she’s torn apart by infected or murdered by raiders? Because she lives in a broken world that the two of you could have saved.”

You drift your gaze to the corner of your eyes and try to move your hand, but she squeezes her grip tighter, causing you to groan and drop your head. Albeit, that’s when you notice a chance to get out of this position and bring an end to this choice your dad shouldn’t have to make.

You can’t give it away right away though. You wait for the right moment, and instead listen to your dads response. “Maybe. But it isn’t for you to decide.”

“Or you,” Marlene counters. “So what would she decide, huh? ‘Cause I think she’d wanna do what’s right. And you know it.”

Yeah, because she was so for giving Ellie a choice. Bullshit.

It’s why you choose to go on with your plan now. She’s distracted currently so you lift your gaze and tilt your head to the side, catching your dads attention right away. So as soon as he meets your gaze you point your eyes to your side.

Luckily your dad is smart and doesn’t miss your speechless hint, he actually looks down, letting you point out the chance you have, the one you caught; Marlene's exposed side after she swayed to the side.

As to not give anything away though, your dad returns his gaze back to Marlene, and you stay where you are and wait.

“It’s not too late,” Marlene adds and now loosens her grip around you. “Even now…even after what you’ve done. We can still find a way.”

Your dad killed all the others by the sound of all those gunshots that rang, and the lack of guards that didn't come down. He probably killed the surgeon, so as much as you want—wanted Ellie to have her own choice, it seems that now….well that is probably unlikely. So why make your dad make this choice between her and you?

There’s no other choice now but to get out of here, the three of you.

Hence why you gave him the hint, it’s why you shift slightly as Marlene lets go of your wrist as she thinks your dad has made up his mind, and watch him lift his pistol he holds under Ellie’s legs to hit the trigger without hesitation.

The feeling of the bullet passing right by you makes you tense, and the sound makes you lift your hands to try and cover your ears, but luckily it doesn’t hit you. The bullet hits Marlene directly, causing her to drop her gun off your head as she falls to the ground.

You want to look back at the outcome, you also want to see if anyone would come, but your dad grabs your hand and pulls you in the elevator right away. You only catch a glimpse of Marlene on the ground with blood beginning to spill on the white hospital floor before the elevator doors close to begin moving down.

“Are you okay?” Your dad finally has the chance to ask.

You glance at Ellie still unconscious and make sure she’s breathing whilst you want to counter with questions. But there’s no time now and well, it’s not hard to guess what he did, so instead you just assure his worry. “Yeah, some fucker sliced my neck, but it wasn’t deep enough. I got off lucky. And my hand,” you say and look down at your throbbing wrist. “It’ll heal. She didn’t break it.” You then look over at him and look at him up and down to take in his dirty appearance, his worried look decorating his features, and want to question him, but the doors then open to the garage.

And right away you both walk out and search for a car to use. Thankfully, it’s not hard to find a usable car across the lot that’s getting its battery charged.

“There,” your dad points to the black car you had also spotted. “Help me get her inside,” he adds and walks off quickly, while you blink to look at the elevator doors closing past your shoulder to think about what you couldn’t prevent. What you couldn't give Ellie. And if there’s still a possibility to give her that.

After all, she went through so much to get to this hospital, and all for what? For a short trip she won’t remember because they drugged her, because he took her away?

“Y/N, come on, open the door for me.” Your dad breaks you from your train of thought.

“Yeah,” you say, and then look away from the elevator doors to jog over to where he's waiting to open the door for him.

With no other choice left now, you watch him lay Ellie down in the back. When he steps back you take off the stranger's coat you had as a disguise and put it over her legs.

At least she’s alive; you think to yourself as you step back and grab the door. Pushing everything else aside, at least she’s still here with you.

You sigh softly and begin to push the door close, but that’s when you hear a loud thump on the ground. And you know it’s not your dad because he’s by the hood of the car trying to get it ready, so you proceed to close the car door and look over at him.

Your dad meets your gaze with his usual furrowed brows and points to the car hood that’s still open. “Come get the car goin’.”

Your brows knit together in confusion, but you begin walking over to where he is as he turns and walks away from the car. Once you reach the front of the car you see that Marlene had somehow dragged herself down even as she bled out.

Albeit, she’s not in a good shape, getting down here took all her energy, she’s now coughing out and gasping on the ground. However, you do have to give it to her for trying. She’s a true firefly through and through.

“No,” she groans out as your dad reaches her. “Wait. Wait, wait, wait.”

You close the hood of the car, and since you might need to make a hasty escape you walk to the drivers side.

“Please,” you hear Marlene whisper between pants. “Let me go.”

You open the car door and get in without trying to fight for her. Why would you? There’s nothing left, he made sure of that. And you love your dad too much to be against him, no matter what wrongs he’s done—what wrongs he will do.

“You’d just come after her,” he mutters to Marlene, and you watch him lift his gun as you close the door.

And once again without a sliver of hesitation he shoots her, this time he makes sure to kill her right away. Now there’s truly nothing left. Now…home.

Thankfully now the way home won’t take months. Of course you didn’t make it back home before your birthday like you promised your uncle Tommy; your birthday actually passed while you were on the road, but Maria should still be pregnant in two days.

However, it’s the silence, the awkward silence that fills the car that will make this car ride eternal, especially since you’re not driving anymore. There’s so many questions you need to ask, complaints you want to throw at him over what he did, but you can’t do that with Ellie passed out in the back, she can wake up at anytime, so you let the silence build and just watch the city pass and smile at the sight of the lush green forest.

You hoped that the silence would stay to avoid spilling everything, but your dad breaks it. “You know, back there…” he pauses, letting you push your head off the window you’re leaning against to look at him—“…I wouldn’t have let you die,” he shares with a brief glance at you.

You can’t help your smile and nod softly. “I know,” you whisper.

“Yeah?” He questions with a slightly concerned look. “I just didn’t want to let you think that I would—”

“Daddy, I know,” you cut him off quietly.

Your dad holds your gaze for a brief second with this soft look, and lets out a relieved sigh before he focuses back on the road and you focus back on the passing green trees.

“Can you promise me something?” Your dad breaks the silence once again.

You blink and slowly meet his gaze again, but don’t answer so he continues. “Don't tell Ellie what I did back there, she doesn’t need to know.”

What? That he didn’t give her a choice? That he snatched that from her after knowing how much it meant to her? Lie about that to her?

You blink rapidly in disbelief and avert your gaze.

“Just let her believe none of it worked and that they’re all gone. Can you do that for me?”

Siblings are meant to have secrets with each other that the parents aren’t aware of. Not a sibling and a parent, it never ends well.

“For how long?” You murmur.

Your dad sighs. “For however long it needs to be kept a secret. She doesn’t need to know. Ever.”

You let out a deep exhale and turn your head to face him and answer, but then Ellie begins to groan, giving away her slow rise back to consciousness.

“What?” She says as you hear her move back there. And as to not give anything away, to not let her see any emotions, you rest your head on the window and close your eyes to pretend to be asleep.

“It’s all right. You’re with me,” your dad assures her. “Take it slow. The drugs are still wearin’ off.”

“Y/N?” She asks, causing you to swallow thickly out of guilt.

“She’s fine, she’s…sleepin’.” He says to her.

You hear Ellie move some more before continuing to speak. “I was with Fireflies and then—what drugs?”

“They were runnin’ some tests on you…” he lies to her. “And some others. Turns out there’s a whole lot more like you…”

No. No.

“…people that are immune.”

Why does he have to say that?

“Dozens of ‘em,” he continues to add to the lies. “And the doctors, they couldn’t make any of it work. They’ve actually—they’ve stopped lookin’ for a cure.”

Let’s hope she believes him now.

“Where are my clothes?” She asks with no clue as to if she does believe him.

“Raiders attacked the hospital. I barely got ya outta there,” he responds. “We’ll find you some new ones on the way.”

“Were people hurt?” She asks.

There’s a moment of silence before he answers with an actual truth. “Yes.”

“Is Marlene okay?”

You clench your hands at the sound of her worry, at the sound of her soft tone. Yet you don’t feel regret for letting Marlene die, no, just that Ellie’s been lied to.

“I’m takin’ us home,” your dad avoids answering her question, but that gives her insight as to what she wanted to know. No.

It’s because of his non answer that you hear her turn around, letting him add one more genuine thing. “I’m sorry.”

Let’s hope she does believe him.

——

*LATER. WYOMING*

The air smelled like home, it made you eager to actually be home; to see your uncle Tommy, Maria, your friends, to just be home. But you’re still a few hours away from actually getting home thanks to the fucking car that broke down!

Albeit at least it didn’t break down earlier and made this trip any longer.

“Well,” your dad breaks the news. “She got us close enough.” He closes the hood of the car, and you turn around to kick a rock and groan in annoyance.

“We gotta walk the rest of the way,” he adds as you hear his footsteps recede from the hood of the car. “Probably about a five-hour hike…but we can manage that. Remember?”

You peer back to see Ellie’s reaction, but the sun hitting the windshield blocks the view, only letting you hear what you assume is slight joy. “Yeah.”

“You ready over there?” Your dad directs his question to you as he steps away from the car to begin walking towards you at the front of the car.

You groan and look at the path ahead. “I’m so ready,” you feign a smile. “I’m eager.”

Your dad falls by you and scoffs. “It’s not long now. We’ll make it there by lunch time.” He shields his eyes and sighs. “I think Maria might kill me this time. With her look alone.”

You laugh. “Nah. I'm comin’ back home in one piece….but maybe once she’s had her baby she will.”

Additional footsteps approach you, so you break away from the spot you had stood at and begin treading that five hour hike.

“All for what?” Your dad quips in a lighthearted tone. “That little cut? Please.”

You shrug. “She’s protective of me, but regardless, rest assured I brought her a bribing present and a heartwarming apology.” You look over your shoulder and smile widely. “I’m still very good at cryin’ on cue, that wins her over.”

Your dad flashes you a smile before looking back at Ellie as she’s lingering behind the two of you. “You shoulda seen her when she was a little girl, she was so dramatic that she learned how to shed the best crocodile tears. Always knew how to get me to do what she wanted.”

“Still can,” you look back at her and wink. “It’s all in the eyes.”

Ellie lets out a soft scoff and nods without saying anything, she stays quiet like she has been for the best couple months, since she’s woken up. But you can say you understand why she’s behaving as such, you’d be quiet too if suddenly that hope to be humanity’s savior was snateched from you without knowing what really happened, and only being able to hear the events from someone else.

She doesn’t deserve to feel such a heavy sorrow, she deserves to be happy, to feel all the lows and highs of being a teenager without such a heavy burden or such a broken heart. So that’s probably the only good reason why….you haven’t told the truth, why it doesn’t bother you that your dad killed everyone in the hospital and stole away her choice out of a selfish act of love. Because if she knew, she’d only know betrayal and even deeper agony that would break her. You want to protect her from feeling that because you know what those feelings bring, darkness.

It’s too bad you couldn’t actually prevent the risk of having her feel it….

Nevertheless, the walk is long, but not hard since it isn’t too hot and the wind is graceful. There is conversation so it isn’t always quiet, but it’s always mostly between your dad and you, Ellie just remains quiet most of the time. The hike isn’t filled with obstacles either, nor with danger, so it’s easy. The only thing that was pesky was your eagerness to get home that’s heightened the closer you get.

“You know, Sarah, y/n, and I used to hike like this all the time,” your dad breaks the silence that had filled your small group, making you smile softly and peer back at him.

“I wouldn't say it was her favorite thing,” he continues. “She wasn’t a fan of the mosquitoes and such. But she was a big climber…or scampering. That’s probably the right word. That girl…she’d see a big rock, and just…pew.”

You grin and try to recall memories, but nothing comes to mind.

“What about y/n?” Ellie probes, causing you to turn around to face your dad as if that will make a difference.

“She was a little girl so when she wasn’t clung on my back she was on a little red wagon. Besides, y/n she liked more of the water activities, swimmin’, she liked to help me and Tommy fish.” He shoots you a small smile. “Actually one time she helped me unhook a fish and…”

Oh this story, yes, you remember it clearly. How funny…

“She actually,” he says between laughs. “Got smacked by the tail. Right on the face,” he points to his own face. “It left a mark for days, I could not get her to stop cryin’.”

“Nor could uncle Tommy stop laughin’,” you grumble and turn back around. “He still does by the way. Never lets me live it down. Especially when he’s drunk, “oh do you remember when you got slapped by a fish, Sunny,” you mock his voice. ““So there was this one time….” Pft,” you blow out air.

“It’s too funny to let you live it down,” your dad teases.

You shoot him back a pointed glare and feign a dry laugh.

“No, but,” your dad continues. “Sarah woulda liked you, Ellie.”

You sigh and lose your annoyance to smile softly again.

“Not to say the two of you are the same. Definitely different.”

“How so?” Ellie chooses to investigate that comment.

“Well, she was a lot more…I wanna say girly. And I’m not sayin’ that you’re not girly,” he tries to assure Ellie.

“I’m not,” she quickly rebuttals.

“Yeah, you’re not,” your dad agrees. “So that,” he chuckles. “She was taller. She had a killer smile. Again, not sayin’ that you don’t,” he assures her. “But you know why I think she’d like you?”

“Why?”

“‘Cause you’re funny. I think you would’ve made her laugh.”

You look back and nod in agreement.

“Anyway,” your dad continues after Ellie’s silence. “I bet you would’ve liked her back.”

You look back ahead and hear Ellie agree. “Yeah, bet I would've.”

You smile softly at her response and can’t help but imagine having Sarah here. It’s hard to say how she would’ve been like considering she would’ve been, what? In her thirties, but you know she’d be happy to have Ellie, to have a different dynamic in your little family considering Ellie is different from you too. Plus, she would’ve liked that Ellie could make your dad smile, you know you do.

Regardless, as you continue leading the way, your smile quickly breaks into an excited grin as you spot a clearing just past the end of the tree line, finally. So without hesitation you break into a sprint to the end, knowing what lies just beyond the end woods and at the top of the green hill.

“Y/N!” Your dad calls out. “Careful!”

Disregarding his warning you maneuver through the tree branches in the way, you duck under a fallen tree stuck on another, and only feel your enthusiasm make your heart pound faster. You don’t stop running until finally you see it in the clear and green horizon, home. Finally, after what’s been a difficult couple months, complete and utter happiness fills your heart.

“There it is,” you point out with a happy grin as Ellie and your dad catch up. “Home,” you let out with a relieved sigh.

From on top of this spring hill, Jackson is a lot larger than you thought of it being. It’s big, but it only means it’s full of people, it’s a small reminder of humanity without the monsters.

“Yeah,” your dad agrees. “Not much further now.”

You try to squeal out of joy, but that hurts to do because of your wound, so you just keep grinning as you continue walking ahead beside your dad now.

“Hey, wait,” Ellie calls out, making your dad stop right away, and making you slow down before stopping a few paces ahead of him.

“Fuck,” you catch Ellie whisper, causing you to shift around and catch her fall in front of your dad to continue. “Back in Kansas City you asked me about the first time I killed someone.”

Your smile falls, and a pit in your heart begins to grow as you feel nothing good coming from what she’s saying.

“When I got bit in the mall, I-I wasn’t on my own. My best friend was there,” she sniffles. “And she got bit, too. We didn't know what to do, and she says, “we can just wait it out…”

Oh god…no. You knew it, nothing good.

“….be all poetic and just lose our minds together.” And then she did. And I had to—“ she pauses, but it’s not hard to decipher what she meant, what she had to do—she had to kill her friend. “Her name was Riley…and she was the first to die. And then it was Tess….”

Wait. What? Yes you knew something might’ve happened to not see her with your dad, but you never…you never came to the conclusion that she was dead. You never asked either, but you never—that never came to mind.

Fuck.

You never got to know her well, but from what your uncle Tommy said about your dads life from the messages they’d send through radio before, Tess was in his life for a long time. Damn….

It’s not sad news for you, but it’s surprising that’s all.

“…and then Sam,” Ellie adds, making you now drop your gaze to the wild flowers around your feet.

“That's not on you,” your dad interjects.

“I know, but—”

“Look, sometimes things don’t work out the way we hope,” your dad cuts Ellie off. “You can feel…like you’ve come to an end….and you don’t know what to do next. But if you just keep goin’…you find something new to fight for.” He glances at you, and you offer him a very faint smile.

“And maybe that’s not what—”

“Swear to me,” Ellie cuts him off abruptly. “Swear to me that everything you said about the Fireflies is true.”

You swallow thickly out of guilt, but hide your emotions well in the flowers around you just in case Ellie is trying to read you too.

“I swear,” you hear your dad lie with no remorse.

A moment of silence passes, a heavy silence you feel immediately, so you look up and catch Ellie’s furrowed brows, pointed gaze, and unrelieved look before she nods and mutters softly. “Okay.”

It doesn’t sound convinced though, you can tell that, you can see her glistening eyes. You can see a shift in her look. What should be a relieving moment seems to be filled with tension. Yet you don’t know how much she believes, or if she’s just disappointed by the answer, but you can tell that there’s a rift between her and your dad now. Her look alone gives that way. After all, you've once looked at him like that too; same narrowed glare, same long frown, and disappointed look.

What would Sarah do? You can’t help but think now, at this very moment as you remember her by looking at the pretty flowers that decorate the green hill. Would she go against your dad and tell her the truth, or hide it like you are now and carry the burden of the truth for her sake, for the purpose of not seeing her heartbreak. Would she risk her relationship with Ellie, the trust, for her own sake?

You look at Ellie and watch her turn away from your dad to finally continue walking home. You then look at home, and then at your dad as he stops by you without saying anything.

After all she’s been through…

You watch her again and sigh with tears beginning to sting your eyes.

….you can’t break her heart. You can’t do that to her. You’ll carry the burden for her sake, for his sake as well.

Yet it doesn’t mean he won’t hear what you have to say, the disappointment you feel for his choices, he’ll hear it, just not now. So you shove away your need to cry and bring back the happiness you felt for returning home. You break away from your dads side without a word, only a guilty look, and trot down to join her side.

You hoped it’d be a quiet walk, but she surprisingly breaks it.

“So what? Are you happy to see your lover boy?”

You blink rapidly in disbelief and scoff softly before you retort. “What are you talkin’ about?”

Ellie shoots you a faint smirk. “That guy you were batting your eyelashes at when we first got to Jackson.”

You scoff and roll your eyes in annoyance, but you’re actually left speechless.

“What?” She quips. “Just ‘cause you lost one boyfriend doesn’t mean you can’t get another. I mean isn’t that how life works?”

You squint your gaze on her in slight disbelief to what she’s saying and actually interject now. “Where is this comin’ from? Huh?” You tease her. “Is this, like, dating advice?” You quirk a brow and smirk.

Ellie’s lips begin to pull to a smile and she shrugs. “I’m just saying I mean it’s not like your dad is going to give you this kind of advice.”

“Oh, and you will, a 14 year old?”

“15 now,” she corrects you.

“Whatever,” you quip. “Same thing.”

“Well,” Ellie sighs. “I'm just saying. Are you happy or not?”

You avert your eyes and shrug. “I guess it depends, doesn't it?”

“Yeah,” she agrees. “But if it doesn’t work out then you can always date Henry’s ghost for the rest of your life.”

You giggle and shake your head.

“Or we can do shit like—”

“Become astronauts and fly to the moon?” You cut her off with a smile.

Ellie meets your gaze and nods. “Yeah. We can do that.”

You nod softly. “We'll see then. Who knows you might beat me and meet someone first. There’s boys and girls your age there.”

Ellie shrugs and huffs out. “We’ll see. I like the moon idea. We could…live in a space station over earth, go to the moon whenever we want and not have to worry about anything down here.”

You look at the green path ahead and let out a deep sigh. “Yeah. I like the sound of that. It’d be a killer view too.”

“Just you and me,” she whispers.

——

“It’s just you and me now, Sunny,” he mutters over the sound of the pattering rain.

You sigh deeply, and watch the rain fall over the patch of green forest below the hill with a sad frown, with an ache in your heart that was left when your dad left you.

“Yeah,” you whisper and glance up at your uncle Tommy with a small smile.

He meets your gaze and offers you a wider smile that he tries to use to assure you. You hold his gaze for a second before you drop your head and look at the wet grass beneath your feet with deep sorrow in your heart.

It’s not so weird that you came back to this moment in your mind, Ellie’s words triggered them to reappear. Nor is it weird that you couldn’t stop thinking of it until now, until you saw your uncle Tommy. Your home.

“Uncle Tommy!” You exclaim before you throw your arms around his neck with a happy grin on your lips.

“Sunny,” he whispers softly by your ear as he hugs you back with more force.

Being apart this time wasn’t as long as before, but months still feel eternal, and well no one knows what can happen to anyone so seeing him even after a few days is a delight.

“You said a month,” he remarks. “You missed your party.”

You sigh and pull back to face him and talk back, but he catches the bandage over your wound on the side of your neck, and his face expression contorts with concern.

“I’m okay,” you quickly assure him as he turns your head so he can take a better look. “I’ll be okay. It’s not deep. You.” You pull back and grab a hold of his hands with a tight squeeze as you grow worried. “The baby?”

A smile once again breaks on his features and he shakes his head. “Not born yet.”

You clasps your hands together and squeal with happiness. At least you didn’t miss that.

“Good, I’m glad,” you retort and step back to let your dad greet his brother.

“You’re still alive,” your uncle teases your dad whilst you twist around and search the patrol group that had come out to greet you before you could reach the gate.

This time around since Maria is heavily pregnant she isn’t one amongst them, neither is Apollo or his dog Achilles….hm. Hopefully, they’re okay.

Something else that changed this time around was the confrontation, it wasn’t hostile or full of terror since now you know the dog won’t detect the cordyceps on Ellie. And since your uncle was out here, your dad nor Ellie’s intentions were questioned, leading you to actually get home quicker this time.

And just like before, when you walk past the gates you’re taken aback by the liveliness of it all. Snow didn’t cover the ground, and the holiday decorations didn’t decorate the town, but the sky was clear, the sun was softly shining from above, and the town was full of color due to the colorful flowers that now replaced the holiday decorations.

“Okay, but don’t think you guys are off the hook,” you interject as you let your shoulders fall, and rest your head on the horse your uncle let you ride home so you wouldn't be on your feet any longer. “I still want my birthday party. Birthday week!” You exclaim. “I have it all planned.” You say and throw your hands out dramatically.

Your uncle grins softly. “Do ya know?” He retorts.

You hum in agreement and nod as you meet your dads gaze now too. “First day, bam, breakfast outside, fancy dress code, pancakes, coffee, fruit, chocolate chip cookies, eggs. Second day…” you trail off and gasp softly as the sight of Apollo walking out of the school his father taught at, catches your eye.

For a moment it’s only him you see amongst the crowd of people, time even seems to pass by in slow motion even if your heart begins to race as you watch him walk down the street. He doesn’t spot you since you’re sort of in the middle of the walking-in crowd, and his eyes are just focused on the ground.

“Apollo!” You yell out even if that hurts the muscles on your neck, and proceed to shoot up before you throw your leg over the horse to slide off sloppily since you’re hardly paying attention. “Apollo!” You yell out again and this time catch his attention and cause him to stop in his tracks.

You almost fall when your feet hit the ground, but you don’t pay any mind—Your dad does though. “Jesus Christ, y/n, careful.”

“There she goes,” Ellie comments as she watches you maneuver past the horses.

“Apollo!” You keep yelling out your friend's name with glee. “Apollo! Apollo!”

Said man's lips spread to a beaming grin and he doesn’t hesitate to also break into a sprint. “Y/N!” You hear him shout.

And before you know it, once all the barriers of space are broken you meet halfway and hop to throw your arms around him.

Apollo doesn’t falter and grabs onto you with all his might. You proceed to giggle and dig your face in the crook of his neck, taking in his fresh and clean scent, and feeling like yourself again; no guilt for what you had to hide, no fear, nothing bad, just ease and joy. The feelings make you linger in his arms for a moment longer until you have to pull away.

“Did you just back?” He asks with an awed smile.

You nod and keep holding onto his arms. “Yeah, I just got back. I missed you out on patrol.”

He scoffs. “Got today off. Damn shame now.” He catches your long bandage on your neck and his face falls. “Is this fresh?”

You sigh and shake your head. “I’ll be fine. Just a cut. You should see what I did,” you clear your throat and smirk smugly. “Pen move. Lodged on the throat.”

“Is that right? I would've liked to see it. Maybe you can show me later.”

Your smirk softens. “Oh yeah, I could.”

Apollo shoots you a grin and holds your gaze with a soft look that makes your breath hitch, and for you to begin to grow hot under his gaze. However, you don’t look away, your smile softens, and you keep holding his gaze even as your heart begins to race again.

You actually catch his gaze flicker down, so you mimic his actions and see his lips part slightly, making him lean in just a bit.

Yet before anything can happen suddenly the sound of your name being yelled out breaks the tension. When Apollo and you look over, he quickly groans in annoyance, but you smile as you see his brother and your friend Atlas, and their dog Achilles running at you.

The dog beats him to you, but when Atlas reaches you he makes you stumble as he throws his arms around you and his brother in front of you.

“You’re still alive you fucker,” Atlas says to you.

Your lips pulls to a grin and you nod. “Always. You need to stop doubting me.”

He chuckles and pulls back, ignoring his brothers annoyance and just focusing on you. “I have to, who would I be if I didn’t?” He retorts.

You roll your eyes.

“I’d be crushed if I kept up my expectations,” Atlas adds quieter. “I’m happy to see you home.” He smiles and pats your shoulder. “Someone missed you terribly.” His gaze bounces to his brother, but he snickers and plays it off by then petting Achilles. “This old fucker here.”

“Ah, well,” you play along with him and slide your arm off him to touch your chest. “I’m here to stay this time. For good.”

“Really?” Apollo challenges. “You being for real?”

You hum and nod as you step back from both boys. “Swear.”

Apollo can’t help but smile, and Atlas just counters you. “We’ll see won't we.”

You scoff, but don’t try to argue, instead you let out a deep breath and point back to the group most likely already at the dinning hall. “I’ll see you boys at home, y’all still live there right?”

Apollo smiles and nods. “Of course. Why would we leave…I’ve been waiting for you to come back.”

You smile softly and don’t add on to his comment because of Atlas beside you, but you understand his reference and nod. “I’m going to grab lunch,” you tell them. “I’m starving. Get…the tequila ready, yeah? Birthday shots?”

Atlas quickly rebuttals as you walk back. “No, your birthday passed!”

You shrug. “Doesn’t matter. Have it ready!” You shoot Apollo one last smile. “Let’s talk later, yes?”

“You know I always have time for you.” He shouts back with a smirk.

You grin at him before you turn around and catch up with your family waiting for you outside of the hall. And once you get close your dad and uncle head inside whilst you linger behind with Ellie, all because she wants to pass you a teasing look.

“What?” You retort and know exactly what that look is for. “I’m just happy to see him.” You open the door and let her walk in first.

“Sure.” She chuckles. “Sure it’s just that.”

“Whatever,” you scoff with a giddy smile.

——

*LATER*

Having babies during this never ending pandemic seemed like such a selfish act to you before, you thought of the people as selfish for wanting to have and raise their kids during this apocalypse. But after meeting Henry, after learning to love again because of him, that thought disappeared.

Now you couldn’t be happier for Maria and your uncle Tommy. Now as you feel their baby kick inside her you also kind of long for such a bliss.

“You pick a name yet?” You ask Maria as you have your ear pressed against her belly.

“No,” she says. “Not yet. We’re waiting until the baby’s born to give it a name.”

You hum and then beam at the open air ahead of you. “I’m so glad I made it back in time to feel this.”

“I almost thought you wouldn't,” Maria retorts with some sass behind her comment.

You scoff softly. “You know he’d bring me back home.”

Maria sighs, so you lift your head off her belly to sit up and face her with a more serious look on your features.

“Look, I know he’s not your favorite person, but he’s still my dad, he’s still my uncle Tommy’s brother, making him your brother-in-law, so you have to suck it up and start coming around. Besides, when it comes down to it you wouldn't want anyone else having your back but him, he’s good, and protective.”

Maria holds your gaze and swallows thickly out of hesitation. After all she’s heard you can’t really blame her, she’s being protective too over you and your uncle, but now your dad is here to stay. She can’t live on hating him in this small town.

“Do you trust him?” She asks with a narrowed gaze. “It doesn’t matter if he’s your dad, push that aside. Do you trust him?”

Without hesitation you nod. “I do,” you assure her because it’s not your trust that’s at play here, no, you’re just upset and disappointed. “He’s earned it,” you add and clasp your hands together whilst you watch the wind sweep over the spring flowers in your meadow.

“Okay,” Maria sighs, “then I’ll be less…hostile. I’ll try.”

You drift your eyes over to her and shoot her a smile. “Good. That’s all I ask, all uncle Tommy and I ask.”

A moment of silence passes where all you hear is the soft howl of the wind brush over your ear, where all you do is watch the pretty and delicate flowers dance gracefully in your meadow. But Maria then breaks that moment. “Are you going to talk about why you left the second time, and came back all beat up?”

Shit.

You blink and drop your gaze whilst it slowly begins to harden and lose all the softens it held over the meaning of her question, and what it asks from you—lies.

More lies. You can’t tell her about Ellie, about where you went and what happened on the trip. At least you can’t say all that involves the fireflies. She’d hate your dad more than she already does, she’d just stir trouble.

Albeit there's a knot in your throat that threatens to undo so you can just throw up everything in some kind of word vomit.

But you can’t, you have to avert your gaze to avoid breaking. And luckily the back door opens, and when you look back you’re thankful to see your dad here to save you from breaking.

“Daddy,” you greet and quickly push yourself to your feet to avoid what came up.

Said man forms his lips into a tight lipped smile when he notices Maria, and slowly begins to wander over to where you are. “Sorry,” he interjects and meets Maria’s gaze. “I don’t mean to interrupt.”

You shake your head and answer right away. “No, no it’s okay. Come over.” You see his gaze flicker to the flower meadow and linger there for a moment before his gaze falls on Maria and you—“Everything okay? Or did you just come to visit?” You ask.

He nods stiffly. “Yeah. I came to visit.”

The wood from the bench swing creaks, stealing your attention. And when you look back you see Maria getting up. “I’ll go then and leave the two of you alone.”

Your dad doesn’t put up a fight to try and be nice, he nods and mutters, “yeah, okay, thanks. Sorry again.”

Maria shakes her head to assure him that it’s fine before beginning to walk away. And just as she makes it on the patio she glances over her shoulder. “I’ll see the both of you at dinner.”

You offer her a kind smile and nod in agreement, she then finally leaves the area when she walks inside, leaving your dad and you alone in a silence that feels quite comfortable.

“Sit, please,” you point to the bench as you sit back down.

Your dad lets out a deep sigh before slowly making his way to sit beside you.

“I grew it in memory of Sarah,” you let him know right away. “The meadow. I mean,” you sigh and smile a wobbly smile. “I’d already see her in the gentle flowers when I had no picture of her, everytime we were out trying to survive. I’d see her in the delicate and beautiful butterflies that flutter on them, so…I grew this meadow when I got here to see her all the time.” You drop your head and sniffle.

“It’s,” your dad mutters in a shaky voice. “It’s sweet. I like it. I’m sure she’d love it too.”

You smile softly and nod, you look at the flowers again and now as you remember your sister you also can’t help but remember the new burden you carry, and you have yet to talk about with your dad.

“Where’s Ellie?” You ask with a fading smile.

“Home,” he says. “She wanted to stay home.”

She’s thinking about what she failed to do isn't she? You know she is. You saw her overthinking behind her solemn look she carried ever since she woke up. You saw her disappointment after she asked your father for reassurance over what he said happened. You could hear her heartbreak when she questioned your dads fake story in the car.

So if you saw and heard all that, you know he did too.

“Why?” You break the silence that had built. “Why did you do it?” You ask, but not with anger laced in your voice, not disappointment; your voice is soft and filled with genuine wonder.

“They were gonna kill her,” he mutters out with no remorse behind his voice. “They were gonna kill her for it without giving her a choice.”

You briefly shut your eyes and let out a deep sigh. “Did you give her a choice?” You ask him and blink to look at him, to watch as he meets your own gaze. “Did you give her a choice before you took her, before you killed everyone in that hospital including that doctor?”

Your dad holds your gaze and now you see that once hardened look turn soft. “I couldn’t lose her,” he says quietly. “You have to understand that.”

More than anything. You love her too.

“I do,” you whisper, but begin to shake your head. “But that doesn’t mean it wasn’t wrong. It doesn’t mean you weren’t selfish.”

“I’d do the same thing with you,” he rebuttals. “In a heartbeat—”

“You were wrong!” You cut him off in an emotional outburst. “You were wrong!” You shout again and jump to your feet to continue facing him. “You were selfish for taking that chance from humanity, even after all we’ve seen, all those people I’ve lost, that we’ve lost in the way,” your voice quivers. “You disrespected her by taking that choice away from her. I…I grew to love her too, I did,” you nod and feel your eyes fill with tears. “She made me find myself after being lost for so long without Sarah. But,” you swallow back your tears. “I would have given her that choice, if she said she wanted to live then I would have helped you get her out by doing whatever I took, but you….didn’t give her a choice.”

Your dad drops his head and watches the flowers in the meadow. He stays silent, letting you let out a deep shaky breath to calm down that anger you had held in.

“If you’re asking me to regret what I did,” he breaks his silence with no anger, his voice remains soft. “I won’t.” He meets your gaze with exactly that, no regret. “I won’t regret what I did because I did it for her, so she can live. I did it for us, for our family. If it was you in her position I’d do it too in a heartbeat, damn the consequences. I wouldn’t even care if you spent all your life hatin’ me because at least you’re alive to do that. The same goes for Ellie.”

That doesn’t take away from your anger and disappointment, but it does help you better understand his reasonings behind his actions.

“And if she ever finds out,” he continues as you remain quiet, unable to find something to argue back with. “I’ll never let her blame you because it was all me. But I hope that she doesn’t find out, she doesn’t deserve to live with that heartbreak, she deserves a good life. She can have that here with us. So that’s all I ask from you, don’t tell her. Please.”

You hold his gaze for a brief second as you think about what he asks from you, as you debate whether to listen or not.

You then proceed to sit back beside him on the bench, you watch the flowers and think about your thought process before, when you stood on that hill that overlooked Jackson. You remember what you came up with then; you want to save Ellie from the darkness that his betrayal would bring, because you also want her to have a good life.

That’s the only reason why you’re agreeing to carrying that burden too.

“I won’t,” you assure your dad. “I won’t tell her. I swear.”

Your dad nods, but keeps holding your gaze with anguish. “Does this change anythin’ between us?” He asks, catching you by surprise. “Because I can’t…I can’t lose you babygirl. Not again.”

You quickly shake your head and speak your truth with a gentle smile. “No, of course not.”

Your dad nods softly as he lets out a deep relieved sigh.

“I was just angry,” you share. “I just needed you to hear what I had to say, that’s all, but no I don’t want that to change us.” You grab his hand and give it an assuring squeeze. “Because regardless of it all, omitting this truth from her is for her own sake now.”

“Yeah,” your dad agrees with a nod. “It is. It’s for her...”

“For Ellie,” you finish his sentence.

.

.

.

.

Tagged- @slut-f0r-u @star-wars-lover @maplecohen @givemylovetoall @itzagothamcitysiren @sammy-13 @beloved-reblogger @emiriia @rues-daya @sunfairyy @littleshadow17 @mcu-starwars @bigtuffswordboy @riaqiax @dheet @queenofthekill @joliettes @d4rno @dgraysonss @rana030 @pedropascalluvr41 @ahoyyharrington @beaniebeensbaby201 @maeneedsabreak @maelartasch @adristyles @daughterofthequeen @alastorhazbin @ririvilliams @khaylin27 @hypatia93 @hummusxx @v4mpyk1tten @1donoow @your-shifting-gurl @g4ns3y @izzzzy-the-amazing @aphr0d1teh @lovelyygirl8 @ivy-taylorsversion

#fanfiction #damn-stark #tragedy at the millers #tragedy at the miller’s #the last of us fanfiction #the last of us #the last of us fanfic #tlou #tlou fanfiction #chapter 7 #joel miller fanfiction #joel miller x daughter!reader #Joel miller #ellie williams #Ellie #ellie tlou #tlou hbo #henry burrell #henry tlou x fem!reader #oc x female reader #oc x reader #Tommy miller #maria the last of us #writing #angst

[okkotsyui]

˖ ࣪ ‹ - reo mikage was used to getting what he wanted. he had everything handed to him on a silver tray ever since he was born, and never had to work hard for anything. people fawned over him and always wanted to be in his presence. he had hundreds of admirers that would die for a moment of his time. reo was widely loved by all. that was, until he faced rejection for the first time.

"i'm sorry, but i don't feel the same way" was your cold reply to his confession. the boy stared back at you in utter confusion, not understanding - or possibly refusing to understand - that he had been turned down. "what?" reo managed to force out, his voice breaking off at the end as he fought to hold back tears. you sighed, running a hand over your face before holding the back of your neck, "i don't like you like that, you're a good friend to me, almost like an older brother." reo couldn't help but notice how you couldn't meet his eyes when you spoke, and a glint of sadness shone over your gaze. he surely didn't miss the slump of your shoulders as you walked away, or the subtle trembling of your lower lip.

reo understood how wealth dominates a person's life, especially if it's within a family environment. one reason why he fell for you is because you were able to relate to him, as your family became business partners with the mikage coorperation when the two of you met as children. he had found someone that he could talk to about the stress of it all, and have a mutual and honest response. but what he couldn't understand was why you never saw him as more than a friend. he openly showed his affection for you every time he was around you, but you brushed it off as him just being friendly. you would never love him back, never love him the way he loved you.

but that wasn't true. that wasn't true at all. more than anything, you wanted reo. it's all that you ever thought of; day in and day out, the boy was constantly stuck on your mind. you wanted to hold him, play with his soft locks of purple hair, just be with him. but you couldn't. no matter how much you wanted to. it was against the rules.

"you are not allowed to fall in love with mikage. if you do, you'll ruin everything in my business plan. keep him close as your ally, but never think of him as more than that" were the harsh words from your father. he saw everyone as a pawn, even you. that's why he had fixed your marriage when you were younger: to be married to the son of a long-term business partner. you were just something that your father could use and sell off to earn himself more money, not once ever being considered his child.

so you had to break reo's heart, had to make him believe you didn't love him. it doesn't matter if you weren't happy, if you couldn't be with him - as long as reo can feel loved with someone else, that's all you needed.

[ @juxzi | do not copy, translate, repost w/out permission. ]

#:: [yui.writes] #bllk x you #blue lock x reader #blue lock x you #bllk #blue lock #reo x reader #reo mikage x reader #reo mikage x you #blue lock reo #blue lock reo mikage #bllk reo #bllk reo mikage #god i really hate this

[kyokutsu-sama]

Hello it's me again with another super specific idea

Headcanons and a small scenario if that's fine for the squad captain's reaction to finding a some with the exact opposite problem to Asta where instead of having no magic they have too much magic to the point they need to wear a special Seal that blocks most of their that magic because it's overwhelming and hurtful for the people around them

You'll probably getting lots more requests from me I just love your work

Hi @weebwith-problems!! OMG THE PIC IS SO CUTE I LOVE THEM❤️ They look so smoll and cute🤏🤭

I'm glad you like my work it motivates me a lot. Thank you😊

A/n: Well, I preferred to write some headcanons for the captains. I didn't write about everyone and I'm sorry if I delay with your request but this week was a bit difficult for me🥹

_____________________________

Yami :

He would easily accept this person into his squad since he always looks for people to bringto his squad. He would still find it interesting since it's the opposite of one of his magic knights.

He would like to test their skills and train them, he will ask them to push past their limits even if it means breaking the seal that blocks their Mana.

He will constantly be telling them not to hold back against him, he would kill them if they did (the typical Captain Sukehiro threats). If it's a woman, he will be impressed since he likes strong women.

He will brag to other captains about having someone so powerful in his squad, especially to his rival Jack.

He is proud of his squad and the way they always work together so having another person working alongside them is something he admires.

Fuegoleon :

If there's one thing this captain admires, it's strength and determination.

After seeing their magic, he knows that "staying weak" doesn't apply to them, much less "being weak".

Their surreal amount of mana is also tiring for them even though it is sealed. He will make a point of following their training so that they gain more resistance and become strong so they can handle it better.

He will be very present and very proud of this person and the results of the efforts they make every day.

Bonus: Mereoleona will take them to train because she loves strong people and she wants to help them control that power.

Nozel :

Even though he is a serious and cold captain most of the time, he admires knights who are strong and who know how to represent the silver eagle's uniform.

Someone who has an excess of mana and is naturally strong is something he will be interested in and will definitely want to have in his squad.

He doesn't train them directly but he will want that person to train a lot to be able to deal with the amount of mana they carry.

After knowing that there is a seal holding all this power so that it is not exhausting for them and others, they will want that person to continue evolving until there is no need for a seal and they are able to control this power unconsciously.

Just like Yami, he will brag a little about having someone like that in his division and will mention it to his rival Vermillion just to see his reaction (plot twist: this one is canon🤭)

William :

William undoubtedly admires all the members of his squad without making distinctions and he is sure that someone with that power would arouse his interest and desire to meet that person.

He would quickly wish he could see this power of them and would be very proud if they showed him on the battlefield as they fought to defend the Clover kingdom.

He trusted them a lot and likes to see them trying hard to control their own mana.

He would be happy if one day he could see that they can already fight, controlling their power without restrictions.

William would also be willing to train with them to witness their progress and since he is a captain, breaking the seal would not have much of an effect on him.

#Black Clover #black clover headcanons #black clover fandom #yami sukehiro #fuegoleon vermillion #nozel silva #william vangeance #headcanons

[lisbeth-kk]

Together

I can't believe it's over. 31 days. 31 fics. Such a joy to do. Challenging, but worth every minute. Thanks so much to @notjustamumj and @calaisreno for the prompts.

Alone isn't the answer

Sherlock didn’t believe Mycroft in the beginning. Giving his little brother advice on how to interact with other people, or rather avoid contact altogether if possible.

Sentiment is never an advantage.

The mantra of Sherlock’s childhood, which followed him into his adult life.

Sherlock found it hard to live by for many years. People intrigued him. They were a puzzle to solve. Why they acted the way they did in different situations. How they expressed their feelings, good and bad. What motives they had for lying, deceiving, stealing, murdering, caring, loving. It was fascinating to study, but in order to do so, he had to interact with them. Lacking the ability to do that in a sociable acceptable manner, led to another rule he’d invented himself.

Alone protects me.

In particular after having neglected Mycroft’s advice. Because Sherlock fell in love. He didn’t mean to, and he fought it, but he lacked Mycroft’s self-control when it came to feelings. Sherlock felt too much, and he failed to observe. 

Sherlock almost lost it when Mark showed interest in him. Asked him about his chemistry class, his experiments, his deductions. Sherlock was flabbergasted. Someone other than the professors and occasionally his family, was interested in his work, and later on, in him as a person. Mark never called him freak, but sensational and phenomenal. Seen in hindsight it was all a bit too much, and Sherlock should’ve known better.

Even now, he cringes thinking back on that night he pledged his love for Mark. They were alone in the gymnasium, or so Sherlock thought. Once the words were out of his mouth and he tried to pull Mark in for a kiss, the lights came on and a crowd of fellow students cheered and whistled.

“You did it Mark! Made the Freak say the words. Well done!”

Sherlock wanted to die. His face blushed, tears threatened to fall, his stomach and chest ached. He fled, didn’t even bother fetching his things. The next he remembered was Mycroft collecting him from the drug den he’d ended up in.

***

Sherlock didn’t make the same mistake again. Out on cases he was superior and couldn’t care less if he hurt someone’s feelings while he spat out deductions a mile a minute. He was a fraction more patient when interviewing witnesses, but that was all. Sherlock felt the hate and disdain from the Yard’s finest, but he didn’t care. His armour was thick and solid.

And then sunshine entered his life. John Hamish Watson. Sherlock felt like he’d known John for years when he handed him his phone that very first day at Bart’s. A man several people dismissed as boring and weak. John was neither. He was a marvel. An enigma Sherlock was sure he’d never solve if he lived to be a hundred years.

Sherlock was almost giddy when he brought John along to their first crime scene. Not showing it obviously. His façade was as imperious as ever, answering, “He’s with me!”, whenever someone dared asking who the hell John was and why he was there. 

Examining the dead woman, John showed that he was adept and useful, just as Sherlock had assumed. What almost knocked Sherlock over mentally, was John’s praise when Sherlock started his deductions. It was nothing like Mark’s exaggerations. To Sherlock’s ear, each word was sincere, and when he looked John in the eyes he saw true admiration. His face was like an open book. Sherlock knew John wasn’t lying and it overwhelmed him. He didn’t know how to address all the feelings surging through him. That’s the reason he left John at the crime scene. He needed to think, and again a man made him lose his bearings. Failing to bring Mycroft into the equation. Of course he’d already observed what was going on with his little brother. But John stood his ground, not the least bit intimidated by the British Government. 

Then John shot Jeff Hope to save Sherlock’s life, and his world changed forever. Seeing John standing there all innocent looking while Sherlock deduced the killer to Lestrade, opened his eyes. Giggling together afterwards was such a new experience to Sherlock. He felt invincible with John by his side. They could conquer all.

***

Bit by bit, Sherlock’s armour dematerialised. John kept him right, was his conductor of light, the love of his life, his entire world. He never had to fake anything with John. John made Sherlock promise after his encounter with Mycroft. No lies. No hiding. No shamming. Only honesty. Sherlock had thought he would fail, but John made it all easy. John also taught him that alone protects no one.

As Mrs. Hudson presumed, there wasn’t much need for the upstairs bedroom. Before the Banker case, which still was Sherlock’s favourite because of John’s (in)appropriate behaviour against Sebastian Wilkes, they became lovers. 

On their wedding night some years later, they made another promise. When the day comes, whether there’s illness, an accident or other circumstances leading to demise for one of them, the other will follow. Neither can live without the other. They’ve done everything together. Even death can’t prevent them from continuing that.

And there it is. The very last one. Thank you all for reading and cheering during the month <3

All the fics can be found here:

@totallysilvergirl @missdeliadili @peanitbear @raina-at @topsyturvy-turtely @keirgreeneyes @meetinginsamarra @catlock-holmes @gaylilsherlock

#sherlock fandom #johnlock #sherlock #sherlock fanfic #john watson #bbc sherlock #may prompts #together #ao3 fanfic #sherlock holmes

[baratiddyappreciator]

Hii! I heard you take requests? How about some childhood headcanons? Like what were these guys like when they were small… :0

Oh I am so glad someone asked this one because I've been having ideas bouncing around but haven't actually thought of making a post of my own. (Throwing in a bonus Natsue and Tokugawa because why not?)

Baki:

He was a trouble-maker through and through. He didn't pay attention whenever he did attend school, and he'd always pick fights with any kids bigger or stronger than him so he could improve and get stronger, like his father.

Emi probably got a lot of phone calls from the schools to come get her rowdy ass child because he was being a menace. He wouldn't bully kids, but he would bully the bullies, and while a lot of the younger kids admired him because he'd get the bullies off their backs, they also feared him.

Baki has chilled out a lot since he first fought his father and joined the underground arena, bro used to be a fireball.

Kozue:

She was an angel, a quiet child, but an angel. She was sweet and helping her teachers with any tasks that they were doing. This girl cleaned the chalkboards, helped tidy up the class, and would even collect test papers and set them on the teachers desk, all without even being asked to.

Sweet to even the other kids, she wouldn't get picked on because most of the older kids thought she was just too adorable, and any attempts from younger students to pick on Kozue were very quickly thwarted by older kids, and once even Baki, though that was completely unintentional.

Despite her hard-working personality, sometimes Kozue would finish up early enough to just sit and doodle on her work instead of doing other things. The margins of her notebooks would be full of little flowers, butterflies and cats.

Hanayama:

Quiet. Very quiet. He didn't really have a lot of friends as a kid, he was just big and quiet and other kids were too scared of him to really bother him. He spent a lot of time with his mom instead of his dad, though considering his dad passed pretty early on in his life, that wasn't really something he did willingly.

He didn't talk to a lot of kids, instead, he found himself mostly hanging around adults, so he's got a very old man way of speaking compared to other people his age, but sometimes he slips into a more expected tone.

It wasn't until he was about thirteen that he really started getting a cocky attitude, and by that point it was just puberty, which, obviously, hit him like a fuckin bus.

Katsumi:

Before he was adopted by Doppo and Natsue, he was a pretty careless kid, but seeing his own biological father get mauled by a lion did a number on him. He used to have nightmares about it, but after a few years of therapy and care from Doppo and Natsue, he came to terms with it.

Given the chance, with the proper financial support and some of the best out there, Katsumi absolutely flourished. Doppo was teaching him Karate, sure, but he also had tutors to help him get some of the best grades in class.

He started slacking off when he was about sixteen, but he still did fairly good. He was a major spoiled brat when he was in his mid teens, though he did still at least treat his mother well.

Jack:

He was always a really quiet kid, even before he was put back into his mom's custody, and he just kept getting quieter as he got older. Part of that is due to Diane's poor parenting, but another part of that is just his own personality.

Man was an absolute menace, he would crack back at anyone if they annoyed him enough, teachers, other students, anyone. He's quick with his words, though he doesn't always use them.

He's really good with younger kids, purely because he'd be running around just as much as them when he was younger in an attempt to get his stamina and strength up. He quickly became that cool older kid that would lay the younger kids climb all over him.

Kosho:

He was very similar to Kozue as a child, surprisingly enough, very quiet, but super sweet towards his teachers. Unlike Kozue though, the only thing protecting him from bullies was Kureha, and if Kureha wasn't there, he was free game.

By the time Kureha was going into high school, Kosho was left alone by bullies, because good lord he had this feral look in his eyes and nobody was about to mess with that.

He'd lose his homework a lot, not when it was time to turn it in, but right when it was handed to him. It would go into his bag, and then it would just vanish. He'd always find it in time to fill it out and hand it in, but it was just an odd occurrence he never knew how to explain.

Kureha:

He was a well behaved child, but ask any of his old teachers and they would tell you that they just got this feeling that this kid was weird, but he never really did anything worthy of getting into trouble.

He was sly, and he was really good at being sly. If he wanted someone to do something, he'd find a way to get them to do it without him even having to ask them to do it.

Definitely had a reputation as a boy scout to literally everyone but the kids that would pick on his younger brother. Because once there were no eyes on them, this man was a straight menace.

Retsu:

An ANGEL, just an absolute sweetheart. He looked up to his teachers and mentors. Really, before he accidentally, you know, killed a man, he was a perfectly sweet person.

He absolutely was the kind of kid that got jealous that he didn't have a full beard. Look at some of the people he grew up around, he was absolutely fuming that he didn't have a full beard. Until he tried to grow one, then he realised that they weren't for him and has been clean shaven since.

Someone had to show him how to braid hair at some point, and he was just flabbergasted by the idea. He tried to braid literally everything that he could just do that.

Doppo:

An absolute charmer. We all know that super charismatic kid, and that was definitely Doppo. Just look at that smile! You can't tell me that he didn't learn that a grin like that could get people to do what he wanted.

He was a smug bastard too, definitely one kid that would annoy the hell out of any adult, but one that would absolutely be popular with other students because "oh look he's talking back to the teacher"

He was a class clown in high school, all charming and funny, but he would start stuttering whenever Natsue walked into the room. Man was head over heels for her, even back then.

Natsue:

Natsue has always been somewhat of an old soul, even when she was little, but she was absolutely a girlie girl for a long time. Everything had to be pink or purple, pastels were her favourites.

She loved going to different field trips to important landmarks, she's always liked them and finds them relaxing to go to.

On her first date with Doppo, he took her to a festival, got all dressed up and everything, only for him to get a "random" and violent nosebleed (he got punched in the face before he went and it was a delayed reaction) and they wound up just ditching the festival to go sit up by the river and watch the fireworks.

Shibukawa:

T R O U B L E. Just trouble. He was a brat and a little shit. Stinky man. Problem causer. He would constantly pull pranks and cause problems in his classes and at home.

If this man had siblings then I guarantee you he was simultaneously the favourite and least favourite. Because he absolutely would do something stupid and blame it on his siblings, then make it up to them later... Only to do the same thing and get them in trouble.

He was absolutely the fun older kid that showed the younger ones cool tricks and funny jokes, if only to spread some mischief.

Tokugawa:

He wasn't too different, admittedly. Just take him, remove the wrinkles, give him hair and shrink him a little bit, and boom, you have child Tokugawa, relatively care-free and happy-go-lucky.

Really, the only thing that made him stand out was his knack for finding talented fighters. He would just get really quiet, and then, in a sweet little child voice, he'd point at someone and go "you've killed someone before"

He and Sabuko used to be really close, but when he inherited the dome they started to grow apart, especially since she had her own life to handle.

#baki headcanons #grappler baki #baki dou #baki the grappler #baki son of ogre #baki hanma #kozue matsumoto #hanayama kaoru #katsumi orochi #jack hanma #kosho shinogi #kureha shinogi #retsu kaioh #doppo orochi #natsue orochi #shibukawa gouki #tokugawa mitsunari

[pommunist]

Hello pommunist dot Tumblr dot com, I just wanted to say thank you for your posts! I may not agree with all of your perspectives but they are a very good source of differing views to keep my own bias in check. I always see you making sure that discussion stays overall respectful and that is very swag of you 👍 I come from an environment where it's very common for workers to be exploited in the ways that are relevant rn (as far as I know, all of my friends have been). I also, as a person, have a very hard time being angry or taking a strong stance against anything (the more I disagree with someone's actions, the harder I subconsciously try to empathize with them) so your expressions of outrage help me remember that things like this are not normal and should be fought against.

It's very hard for me to condemn any of the things that quackity or others involved with q studios have done. To be clear, I completely support the admins' rights to proper treatment and pay; it's just that I know that if I was in the place of those higher-ups/quackity, I would have made the same or very similar mistakes, so it feels very fallacious to hold them to higher standards than I would hold myself. Is this a strange or inappropriate position to hold? I just do not know how to flex my brain in the right way to look at qstudios as a 'corporate entity' rather than a 'collection of individuals.' That plus the fact that in my opinion, all these problems with the server's management are much easier to make than people (at least in my experience) want to think, and have a good chance of happening with any project just because communication is so inherently infallible and human nature is complicated.

Again, I do really appreciate your point of view and perspective. I just have a hard time truly understanding the more "zero-tolerance" approach to—well, to anything, but in this case to abuse of workers' rights. Would you be willing to explain more of your perspective? I really truly do want to understand better.

I hope you are having a good day/night, and that the tone of this does not come off as anything other than genuine. Lots of love! ❤️❤️

Hey anon !! First do not worry your message came off as nothing but genuine, no problem at all 🫶

Also I don’t think it’s strange or inappropriate for you to have the position you described in your ask ! I actually relate a lot to you saying you can have a hard time being angry at something because same, the more I analyse someone’s actions the more I tend to see their pov and empathise.

Also about holding yourself to a different standard if you were in their shoes, the question is : would you, in a similar scenario, have made decisions that would have put you in the same situation they are now ? Personally, I know that I don’t have the money, ressources or abilities to manage such a big project, so by realising it, I wouldn’t have gone through with it.

For the others things you brought up I’m gonna link you to a previous ask I answered, as well as to the very pertinent addition by @blockgamepirate to it, which I hope can bring some elements of answers to your questions.

And personally, there are many reasons I feel so strongly about the topic of workers rights. Them being that I just care about politics and have an interest in them, but also the current political climate of my own country and my personal background makes it that I kinda HAD to strongly make my mind on this topic. In this particular case it angers me even more because the admins were mostly young people, who had a great love and admiration for the project, and for the passion of young fans be taken advantage of is just heartbreaking.

I hope this was at least somewhat helpful, sending love back ♥️

[cosmicjoke]

Thoughts on Historia?

Do you mean my personal opinion of Historia?

Personally, I'm not overly fond of her. She's a fantastic character, complex and fascinating, and I can understand why others would like her. For me personally, it's difficult, because of what she allowed to happen in the end, standing by and letting so many people die purely for her own sake, and the way she betrayed, not only her duty as a soldier, but all of her comrades and what they fought and died for by saying and doing nothing to stop Eren, despite being the only one privy to his actual plans. She knew before they ever left for Marley. She could have easily stopped all of it if she had just told someone. Eren never would have been able to scheme with Zeke to instigate a coordinated war against Paradis. Eren never would have been able to attack Liberio. Zeke never would have ended up on the island and all the people that died as a result of Zeke poisoning them with the wine would still be alive. Sasha would still be alive. Hange would still be alive. Levi wouldn't have ended up disabled. And of course, the Rumbling never would have happened. Millions, if not billions of people that lost their lives would still be living. All because Historia decided she didn't want to follow through on her previous agreement of inheriting Zeke's titan. She should never have agreed in the first place if she didn't have any real intention of following through, or if she had doubts. The Survey Corps and the rest of the top brass could have made alternative plans if they knew Historia wasn't on the table as an option. She reneged though, and she lied about it, and she cost them time and lives as a result. When you really think about it, it's really shocking how greatly she betrayed everybody.

It doesn't help that, from the start, Historia was essentially a charlatan, pretending to be this virtuous and caring person, but in reality, only doing so to gain the admiration and approval of others. She's one of the most selfish characters in the story, and that's saying something, because there's a LOT of selfish bastards in AoT, lol.

It's hard to like a person like that, at least for me.

#historia reiss #attack on titan #shingkei no kyojin

[kimdokja-real]

Kim Dokja's Friends Here, We're Back. We're Sorry for Leaving Kim Dokja Alone.

ANyway we'll try not to type in CAPS. Kim Dokja likes CAPS because it makes things less serious.

We have two things to do, upload his singing and speak about his Past.

We Really want Kim Dokja to be Loved, and we don't want him to hide anymore.

Alright, so...

Kim Dokja was Once part of a Fandom, called Durarara. He became so famous there that everyone called him Senpai, Sensei, even Jesus. Someone said 'I wonder if Heaven looks better than your blog My Body is Ready' He Even Made Haters of the Pairing Shizaya Convert to Loving the Pairing and looking forward to see it Happen in Canon. He was that Good, but of course this Dense Guy Didn't see he was that good. His Butterfly and Camellia Theory blew up in a single night, with over 200+ notes, and famous popular people in the fandom reblogged it. Kim Dokja eventually became so famous and popular and loved in the fandom, he practically went from a nobody to controlling the fandom.

Everyone Loved him. He was the God of the Fandom. When He Posted his First theory, Butterfly and Camellia Theory, Everyone was like OMG and Everyone, every single person Welcomed him to the fandom including the popular people who had like 1000+ 2000+ followers. Everyone was so fascinated at the new Analyzer who managed to sweep off the (stagnant) fandom with One Move. I am not even exaggerating.

However, Kim Dokja was Scarred.

It was all Heaven for Kim Dokja a while, he received praises through Asks, everyone praised him to high heaven, looked upon him like he was a god, And He Was Very Happy. Since he was Lonely in Real Life. He didn't think he could experience such love in his life. He didn't think something like that could ever happen to him. Of Course, He Didn't Think He Was Worthy of it, but he happily replied every message even with doubt.

Then everything came crashing down, popular people who were scared of the new talented person whom Everyone Loved, who had Changed the Fandom, Leading to Less Love for their blog which they 'worked so hard on', were jealous of Kim Dokja. So they reblogged his posts and spoke badly about them, claiming the author did not say this or that...and that he was reading too deeply into things, the pairing is not real, only for fanservice. Basically they disrespected the Hell out of him. And Used their Popularity as a Status for Being Right.

They pressurized him, sent anon hate. And Everyone Fought back. People were really Angry for Kim Dokja's Sake. Everyone fought to Defend Kim Dokja, their analyst god. And when they sent in their loving encouraging messages saying don't be worried about the haters, Kim Dokja felt guilty because there was a Fandom War because of him, one sole person. Someone told him to calm down. Someone defended him from anon hate calling him a bitch, saying they were the bitch because people self-project onto others and that Kim Dokja had people who care about her. someone asked senpai if 'she' was okay. Someone even was like it's been 4 days, are you okay? Kim Dokja was that popular and loved.

All the girls who shipped Shizaya with their life loved him. And a few guys too, two of which he got to know.

But he received challenges from the popular people through their reblogs and their fucking scaredy cat anon asks, However being Kim Dokja, he replied one of them seriously with information......and they left him alone out of respect. (It's the Afterlife now, So We Know). One person who Disagreed with him with their own analyses, with the pairing Shizaya since one of the guys acted a lot like their brother, Ended up agreeing with him so much, he went to Kim Dokja for analyses on whether Shizuo and Izaya could Love each other in canon. Because Kim Dokja was that respectful and polite to people. People admired him for that. They Changed their Mind for him.

But it was still a lot of pressure on Kim Dokja.

He Didn't feel the Love, he just felt the Pressure and Everything, being in the centre of a Fandom War with Most People on his Side ('please don't be sad, there are People who aren't even your Followers who care about you.) and Less People (but the Popular People) on the Other Side.

(Imagine being New, and when you post a Theory, a Fandom War Starts Over your Post, and it Includes the Most Popular People in the Fandom Whom Everyone Go To For Years For Fics and Information.)

Many people said 'Please dont' be sad', but Kim Dokja's mother scolded him until he cried and shamed him for it 'Why are you Crying' so Kim Dokja didn't know how important it was to not be sad.

Eventually, it got so Bad One Thing the person who started it all said, contained so much Negative energy, Kim Dokja literally felt sick from it. His stomach suddenly burned up and it felt like he was dying, but he did not die. He fell intensely sick, and he ended up being hospitalized.

This was when Kim Dokja got his health issue of Acid Reflux, which is when the acid in your stomach travels up your eosphagus, throat, and you feel the acid taste in your mouth and your stomach doesn't feel good either. (And this caused him many problems in the future. When Kim Dokja Did NOthing Wrong.)

Yeah, the situation was so bad, Kim Dokja added up being hosptalized from it, from the emotional turmoil, negative energy, psychological stress. He almost died.

Kim Dokja returned from the hospital, and went back to the fandom. With his sense of responsibility. People loved and were still concerned about him, but the war was still raging, only a bit tamer. Eventually he snapped and let out his true emotions and feelings, saying they were treating him like an outcast, like the outcast Izaya from the Durarara fandom. The popular person who started it all called ruka spoke about the post on her blog, complaining saying she was stressed and handling a lot of shit, she didn't mean it that way...............and her grandmother was in the hospital.

Now Kim Dokja literally went to the hospital himself, with an almost near death experience, but when he heard that her grandmother was in the hospital, he felt so bad he apologized and said sorry and suggested to end it with the post, which thankfully the popular person agreed (for their reputation but whatever). This is how Kind Kim Dokja was. Is.

And So it Ended there, as Kim Dokja continued to make his Analyses and Theories for the Fandom, Even with a Masterlist, but the Scar Never left his heart.

And They Were his former friends too.

Yes, the popular people who Waged a Fandom War Against Him were his friends, Kim Dokja 'got lucky', expressed his admiration for those people, and they talked a bit with the most popular person liking him enough to send :3 emoticon or love emoticon and the other popular person who was her best friend being cheerful and they enjoyed their talks together.

But when his Butterfly and Camellia Theory Exploded the Fandom, they Quit Being His Friends out of nowhere. Kim Dokja didn't understand it and still tried to keep their relationship, (he's not very socially attuned), but they were already Too Jealous.

Yeah, Kim Dokja's Life was Fucked Up...Heaven to Hell with a single Post. You think this sort of thing only happens in Anime, No, it really happened to Kim Dokja.

But Kim Dokja continued with his analyses, he got like at least 3 asks in his inbox each day, while juggling with university life at the same time in the best University in the country. People continued to love him, but Kim Dokja couldn't feel the love.

Years later, the person who started it all came into an anon ask and said two simple words, 'I'm sorry...'

Kim Dokja knew it was the person, his intuition is good and he can feel energy.

So, for the person to have said such a thing, it meant the person after the fandom drama stopped, actually looked through Kim Dokja's blog and followed him and his analyses and even his life. His Life, because Kim Dokja posted bout his health issues there, said he didn't want to talk about it, but in fact it happened after the fandom Drama.

The person read it and said they were sorry. It was Years later, but the person for some reason, the same person who started the Fandom War Against Kim Dokja, Chose to Follow Kim Dokja and even Support him by reading his Analyses. Kim Dokja just has a Way with Words.

Kim Dokja Knew all this, but the Damage had been done and......he was glad even happy but.....it still didn't erase all the scars. He even doubted the message. He wasn't happy he managed to change the mindset and even heart of the popular person who had Waged a Fandom War Against Him, in the first place. A Miracle had Happened, But Kim Dokja did not see it.

This is real. Even though this is the real Kim Dokja, this is real. Here is the Theory. This is Real, it's his true experience in real life, this guy is so great he's other anime characters too but what i want to say is, this is real. It makes him seem like Kim Dokja yes, to change Everyone, but it's still a real issue in this real Kim Dokja's life. Until now

Like the wind (tumblr.com)

That's why we Want Kim Dokja to be Loved So Much, Not Only Because of What He Experienced in Omniscient Reader, As His Friends Who Lost Him There, But Also Because Of His Very Real Issues of his real life on this earth. (Because There's more.) He doesn't know how to Create things to get recognition and love, like popular things so.......we'll Create it all for him. We need to showcase his talents and let him be Loved. It's been too long. -Hansooyoung

Jung Heewon here. I Know we may seem Pushy at times, but we Really just want Kim Dokja to be Loved. Or just for People to Even See this Guy. He is so Talented, he can not only Write and Analyze Anything, but he can also Sing, and Trust me, he can also play the Guitar. And he can Sing way better than what was Posted (He's Just Shy). He went to the Best University in his Country despite all the emotional abuse from his mother saying he'll never amount to anything, saying the teachers praised him so much, handled so many group projects because people pushed all the work to him, him being so intelligent and smart, wrote about the drrr anime in his essay and got an A, and dealt with fandom and writing his fanfictions at the same time. And He's Just So Kind. After going through all that literal shit.

It took Kim Dokja like 3-4 years or was it 5 to return to Fandom Life again, and this time Omniscient Reader before the World Ended because God Said So, and We all flew up to Heaven, to the Universe, except Kim Dokja who was Stuck on Earth, because...of his Issues.

And...it really is the Afterlife. Kim Dokja's issues are so bad, We Returned to Earth to Help him clear up his human issues in the afterlife. Because he's a god in the universe.

#Yoo Joonghyuk wrote this #Kim Dokja #Yoo Joonghyuk #ORV #Omniscient Reader's Viewpoint #Kim Dokja's Real life #Kim Dokja's Past #i don't know if this is getting through to the ORV fandom #But ORV fandom #JoongDok shippers whatever #all you Self-proclaimed Kim Dokja Lovers #Everyone on the Fucking Wall #The Real Kim Dokja is Here #So Stop Worshipping the Past Kim Dokja in a Novel that Has Already Ended and Come See His Real LIfe!!! #wtf are the people who love Kim Dokja all doing damn #he should have 2000+ followers by now #even more than Last time #Stop giving notes on posts from the Past because that ORV Kim Dokja is Here #give your Notes to him Here it's the real Kim Dokja #He even revealed his voice for us he sounds like Kim Dokja #JoongDok #Kim Dokja and Friends #Kim Dokja's LIfe Story

[namorslutfanfiction]

I let myself think a little bit.

Tenoch has spoken openly about colorism and racism and how that has affected him personally. He's talked about how he tried to assimilate into that elitist culture. How he lost his voice and it took him a lot to find himself again. To embrace who he was and how acceptable he was in his true state. Not just the tanned skin but also his features, his voice, and his different talents.

I feel like I am on a similar journey. I've fought with myself over internalized racism. Wanting to be lighter and thinner because that's the 'Asian standard of beauty'. But it's such a closed off standard. I was born tan. My people live beneath the sun and play on beaches. Our culture and identity was stripped from us. I and many other Filipinos have now come to embrace the heritage we have. And as I've delved into the mythos of the Philippines, learning origins of words I have heard daily that no one had taught me, I am so sad to see how much has been lost. I hope someone can take up that mantle for us in a public setting the way Tenoch is doing. I am embracing my skin, my features, and the good and bad things of my place of origin. I am writing in an aim to eventually write a novel based on the lost mythology of the Philippines. I want to make that contribution to the world because I gave up before.

I was an actor for 10 years from adolescence into adulthood. I was told to my face that I 'wasn't the right type of asian'. That I didn't have the 'look' they wanted despite being told numerous times by numerous people, peers and professors and mentors, that I had god given talent. But aside from personal issues in my life, I couldn't also handle the constant feelings of being an actor who was talented but would never be good enough because of my looks.

I admire Tenoch's tenacity and drive because I wish I had that. But I ultimately gave up acting. I remember crying so hard the last day I walked away from the stage knowing that that chapter of my life was over. Knowing that something that helped shape who I am, gave me confidence, and made me feel truly happy was being put to rest. I miss it so much. But it is still so gratifying to see how the world around me has changed. I couldn't have imagined so much asian representation, indigenous stories, and diversity in media 10 years ago the way it is today.

I hope if there is anyone else out there like the girl I was. The little filipino girl who knew she could act better than all those teleserias her grandma watches. I hope she is confident enough to make a space for herself. I hope actors like Tenoch continue to blaze pathways for lesser seen representation. That they add to the variety of faces we see for each culture and identity.

To all the young actors out there.

Pursue it with all your heart. Have no regrets. Blaze bright.

#personal #tenoch huerta #representation #acting #media #culture #pop culture #diversity #entertainment industry #actors #philippines #filipino