#and the drama of it all takes my mind of other horrible things for a bit | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

jessybarnes · 9 months

Text

Forbidden Love

Fandom: Harry Potter

Pairing: Severus Snape x Reader

Rating: 18+ Only

Word count: Over 5k

Tags: Acromantula, mentions of blood, death of a mythical creature, gore, angst, fluff, smut, bullying, broken bones, hippogriffs, unicorns, fluffy, centaurs, syringes, major character injury, near-death experience, age gap, teacher/18-year-old student relationship, unprotected sex, fingering, begging, forced reveal of feelings, forbidden forest, family drama, and I think that’s it.

Beta: @winecatsandpizza

A/N: This is a repost from one of my old Tumblr accounts. I altered the timeline a little to make this flow better. I realize that Gilderoy lost his memory during the Chamber of Secrets era. I also realize that Severus didn't take on the DADA teaching position until Harry's 6th year. I just wanted to make that clear for everyone. :) Enjoy!

"Hmm…difficult, very difficult. Mmm yes, lots of ambition and very loyal too. A hint of creativity, but you seem to mask it well with your bravery...”

As the sorting hat’s voice echoed throughout the Great Hall, your mind began to flood with the past week’s events.

It was the day after your eighteenth birthday when you discovered your Hogwarts letter. Your grandmother had been a great witch and even taught at Hogwarts after she finished her seventh year. From the moment you were born, she knew you were destined for good things. Your parents had forbidden her from using magic around you and even went so far as to hide your letter of acceptance on your eleventh birthday. It wasn’t until you were going through some of your childhood toys in the attic that you came across it.

The letter was stuck to the back of an old photo album, and the writing had nearly faded completely. You ran your fingers over the yellowing parchment, the tip of your index finger raising slightly as it slid over the sealing wax. You recognized the symbol immediately. Your grandmother had it all over her house, and you’d thought it to be your family’s crest. The wax gave way easily and you pulled the letter out as carefully as you could. Your heart began to race and your breath caught in your throat. The letter was for you! You had been accepted into Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.

You blinked and brought yourself back to reality, the hat seemed to be finishing up his assessment.

“...better make it...Slytherin!”

The table full of students to the far right of the hall erupted in cheer as you walked towards them. You took your seat and after the rest of the first years were sorted into their houses, the Headmaster approached the podium. He raised his hands and without saying a word, the whole room went silent.

“Welcome! Welcome, everyone! It is my great pleasure to start off a new school year with a few minor changes. As many of you know, Gilderoy Lockhart is no longer capable of teaching. It seems a memory charm backfired and he’s lost all memory of who he is. Be that as it may, I am very pleased to announce that our own Severus Snape will be the new Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher.”

Your eyes scanned the teachers at the head table and stopped when they landed on a man who looked slightly younger than the others. He stood and nodded ever so slightly before taking his seat again. Your gaze lingered on him as Professor Dumbledore continued on with his speech.

“Thus it’s only fitting that the one and only Professor Horace Slughorn takes Severus’ place as Potions teacher.”

Another professor stood up from the table and smiled as a round of applause reverberated off the walls.

“Now that we’ve determined who will be teaching what subject, I have an additional announcement to make. All students will refrain from entering the forbidden forest. Anyone who isn’t experienced enough to handle themselves will most certainly die a very horrible death. Now, without further interruption, let the feast begin!”

With a wave of his hand, the empty plates filled with a delicious-looking meal. You ate quietly as the other Slytherins talked and carried on. Every so often, you turned to look at the mysterious man with the all-black attire. Mysterious didn’t even begin to describe him. Even though it wasn’t classified as magic, you had always found yourself skilled in reading people.

He looked particularly confident, his shoulder-length, black hair bouncing slightly as he talked amongst the other teachers. There was just something you couldn’t quite put your finger on. Was it pain? The very moment you thought the word to yourself, his eyes snapped up to yours. Horrified that you were caught staring, you quickly turned your attention to your plate. Had he read your mind?

Deciding not to dwell on it any longer, you continued eating your meal thinking about the new chapter in your life. Though you didn’t know much about Hogwarts and the world of magic, you did know that this house, in particular, had a bad reputation. Your grandmother was a Ravenclaw, and would sometimes divulge knowledge about the other houses. The one thing you remembered about Slytherin was that its founder believed only certain people should be allowed to attend this school and practice magic.

Purebloods.

You were the farthest thing from being a pureblood. In fact, you were what other witches and wizards would call a Muggle. That was another thing you learned from your grandma. Muggle was a term used to describe someone who had non-magic blood, or the less liked derogatory name, mud-blood. The fork in your left hand scraped across your plate as you pushed your food around aimlessly.

Why on Earth would the sorting hat put you in Slytherin?

Soon, dinner was over and the prefects led the students back to their respective common rooms. You followed the other female students to the girl’s dormitory and found your trunk and owl had already been brought in. Nova chirped and tilted her head when she saw you, and you couldn’t help but giggle.

“Miss me already, sweetheart? Well, I missed you too.”

The soft feathers on her head slid between your fingers while you talked to her. Even though she didn’t talk back, it was always nice to feel like someone was listening.

You settled on your bed and began drawing in your sketchpad as the other girls in your room talked amongst themselves. Their conversation hardly registered with you, your focus solely on the drawing of Nova you were currently working on. It wasn’t until one of the other girls tapped you on your shoulder that you noticed they were talking to you.

“Hellooo? Were you even listening to us?”

You set your sketch pad next to you on the bed and looked up at the three girls staring at you intently.

“S-Sorry, I didn’t realize you were talking to me. I was um … I was focused on my drawing.”

The girl closest to you rolled her eyes and huffed impatiently.

“I said, why aren’t you eleven like the other first years?”

There it was, the question you knew would be asked eventually. You just didn’t think you’d have to answer it this soon.

“My um… Well, I suppose it’s because my parents hid my acceptance letter from me.”

The one with the blonde hair began to laugh.

“Why that’s absurd. Why anyone would hide a Hogwarts letter from their child is beyond me. Unless… wait… are you, not a pureblood?”

A sudden feeling of shame overtook you and your gaze wandered to your lap, a loose string on your blanket became instantly more interesting.

“I-I… Well, no… I’ve got non-magic parents actually.”

The third girl scoffed. “Daphne, can you believe they let scum like this into our house?”

Blondie, who you presumed to be Daphne, snatched your sketchbook off the bed and tore it in two, and laughed. “Serves her right. Mud-bloods don’t belong in Slytherin.”

She drew her wand and pushed the tip into the skin of your throat making your whole body quake in fear.

“Listen up you vile little wretch, you’d better not lose us any house points if you value your life at all. Understand?”

Tears pricked your eyes as you nodded quickly. “Y-Yes… Yes, I-I understand.”

She removed her wand and the two other girls followed close behind as they left the room. Closing your eyes, you took a few deep breaths trying to slow the rapid beating of your heart. A few minutes later, you let out a shaky breath and began to clean up the remnants of your sketch pad. Luckily, this was a brand new one and Daphne hadn’t torn up anything too valuable.

Once you were finished, you slipped on your shoes and held out your arm to Nova. She chirped happily and sidestepped to your shoulder. Staying in your room anywhere near the other Slytherin girls was the last thing you wanted to do, so you decided to explore the castle grounds a little before bed. After all, it was only Friday night, and classes didn’t start for another two weeks.

The crisp, fall air licked at your skin the moment you stepped out into the courtyard. It felt good to breathe the fresh air and you suspected that Nova felt the same. She immediately took flight and let out a happy screech. Part of you envied her. Being able to soar as high as the clouds away from all the negativity was something you could only dream of doing.

You wandered around the castle grounds until you spotted a hut nestled at the edge of a tree line. The stone exterior and the pointed roof reminded you of the fairytales your parents used to read as bedtime stories when you were little. Light grey smoke billowed out of the chimney and you could faintly hear someone humming. Curiosity got the better of you, and you soon found yourself at the foot of the steps.

Before you could knock, the front door swung open and none other than Hagrid looked down at you.

“Why ‘ello there, lass! Teh what do I owe yeh the pleasure?”

You’d only known him for a few hours, but you could tell that Hagrid had a big heart and good intentions.

“I just needed some fresh air that's all. Things are… a bit much in my house.”

Hagrid studied you as you spoke. It didn’t take a genius to know something was bothering you, and he saw right through the fake smile plastered on your face.

“Why don’t yeh come in fer a spot of tea? I can tell something is troublin’ yeh.”

It became a sort of routine, the evenings you’d spend with the Hogwarts groundskeeper. After Hagrid had learned the way the other Slytherins were treating you, he’d made it clear that you could spend the night in his spare room any time you needed to. You insisted on paying him for his hospitality, but he always refused. All he had ever asked in return was help taking care of the mythical creatures. Most would probably view it as a chore, but you found it extremely therapeutic.

Friday evening before school started, you noticed Hagrid was missing from the teacher’s table. After dinner, you jogged along the path to his house and noticed the lights inside his hut were off.

Hmm...that’s weird, you thought to yourself.

Normally, he’d be making a pot of tea right about now. Tentatively, you walked up the steps and lightly knocked on his door.

“Hagrid? Hey, are you home? It’s Y/N…” You tried the door, and it opened easily. “Hagrid? I’m coming in…”

Fang peeked at you over his paw and yawned lazily. Other than the glow of the fire, nothing showed signs that he was home. As quietly as you could you walked to the back towards his bedroom. There, wrapped up in blankets and looking beyond miserable, was the half-giant himself.

“Oh, Hagrid… what’s the matter? You look like you feel awful.”

He coughed and sneezed a few times before blowing his nose into a hankey. His skin was clammy, and he looked like he hadn’t slept in days.

“I’m sick, lass. Yeh shouldn’t come near me if ye know what’s good fer ya.”

Out of instinct you put the underside of your wrist against his forehead and grimaced.

“Hagrid, you’re burning up! Come on! We have to get you to Madame Pomfrey.”

You helped him stand and carefully started to lead him toward the castle. It took nearly fifteen minutes, but finally, you were able to get him to the hospital wing. Madame Pomfrey motioned to a bed and helped you lay him down. She insisted that she keep him overnight so she could monitor him, but Hagrid was having none of it.

“No! Absolutely not! I can’t stay ‘ere overnight. Who’ll feed Fang an all me other beasts? Buckbeak ain’t the nicest Hippogriff when he’s missed a meal yeh know.”

Your hand came down to cover his as you looked him in the eyes.

“Hagrid, please...stay here and let Madame Pomfrey take care of you. I’ll take care of feeding them tonight, okay? It’s not like I haven’t helped you make your rounds for the past week and a half.”

The groundskeeper sighed with defeat and nodded.

“Alright Y/N, I’ll stay an let yeh take care o’ my pets, but yeh have ta promise me you’ll be careful.”

You gave him a soft smile and stood to smooth out your robes. “Don’t worry, Hagrid. I’ll be quick and efficient just like you taught me. I even made myself a list so I remember which animal eats what as well as where they’re all located. I’ve got this!”

Before he could change his mind, you hurried out of the room and back to his hut to grab what you needed. According to the list, you had five different species to feed tonight. The unicorns, Buckbeak the hippogriff, Fluffy the three-headed dog, the centaurs, and Aragog the acromantula.

None of these mythical beasts ever acted like they were harmful, but they weren’t to be taken lightly either. Not to mention you were with Hagrid every time you’d fed them before. After loading up the bags with their food, you made sure you had your wand before approaching the edge of the forest. It didn’t matter what time of day it was, the shadow from the trees always made the forest dark and a thin layer of mist lingered near the forest floor.

Fluffy was first on your list. His doghouse was about fifty feet within the forest. Brandishing your wand, you cast Lumos Maxima and took the trail to the west. A few minutes later, you could hear light snores echoing off the trees. Making sure you had the three slabs of meat at the ready, you whistled to get the giant beast’s attention.

"Fluffy! I got you some dinner!"

The dog's left head yawned enthusiastically and you couldn't help but chuckle.

"Alright, that's enough sleeping. It's time for some yummy meat!"

The middle head began to growl and bare its teeth at you while the one on the right shook its head back and forth violently.

"There we go, nice and easy…" You slowly got closer and gently set the slabs of meat within his reach before backing off."

You stuck around long enough to make sure he saw the food and then walked north towards the part of the forest where unicorns made their homes. It surprised you to learn that they preferred witches over wizards. Hagrid had told you that they were very fast, so much so that they could outrun a werewolf.

Instead of trying to seek them out, he set up feed pails around their homes and filled them with food. As you were filling the pails, you saw a golden blur out of the corner of your eye. It startled you at first, but then you remembered Hagrid telling you that unicorn fouls were gold in color.

Staying completely still, you waited until it poked its head out from behind the tree.

"Hi, sweetheart. You want some food?"

At the mention of food, the foul whinnied and slowly approached your outstretched hand. It broke your heart that these beautiful creatures were nearly extinct. You gave light scratches to the tufts of fur behind its ears, the serene moment nearly making you forget where you were.

After hand-feeding the baby for a few minutes, you quickly filled the rest of the pails before heading towards the centaurs. Hagrid always made sure you remembered how proud the centaur breed was. They didn't like to be classified as "beasts" along with thestrals, merfolk, or werewolves. They also ate both human and equine food.

It was a good thing you remembered to grab both types. You didn't want to upset them at all, let alone do so without Hagrid around to protect you. As you approached their den, a familiar face came to greet you.

"Good evening, Y/N."

Firenze stood tall as he looked down at you, his unwavering gaze making you a bit nervous.

"H-Hey! Sorry, it took me a bit to get here. Hagrid isn't feeling well, and I had to take him to the hospital wing."

The creature nodded and uncrossed his arms.

"That's quite alright. I see you brought my colony dinner."

You offered a smile and held out two big knapsacks of food. "I did! I wasn't sure what you would prefer so I came bearing a variety of things...I-I hope that's okay."

Firenze chuckled and placed one of his large hands on your shoulder. "That's very kind of you, Y/N. Please give Hagrid my best. I do hope he recovers quickly."

With a nod and a wave, you watched him until he was out of sight.

Adjusting the bag on your shoulder, you turned east and walked in the direction of the area Buckbeak frequented. You’d come to love the Hippogriff ever since Hagrid introduced you to him. It only took you about five minutes to navigate the trail before you could hear the excited bleats coming from a group of trees. Making sure to stop the moment you crested the hill, you made eye contact with Buckbeak and bowed low.

The Hippogriff turned and tilted its head momentarily and then bowed in return. You took the dead ferrets out of the bag and tossed them in the air for him to catch. When you ran out he nudged the side of your face and chirped happily.

“Yes, I love you too, Beaky. You’re a good boy!”

Kissing his beak sweetly, you bade him goodnight and walked south toward the heart of the forest. Time to feed the final species on your list.

Aragog.

Even though they were capable of human speech, acromantulas were the one beast you had a fear of. As you approached Aragog’s lair, hundreds of tiny spiders crawled on the ground next to you. Taking a few deep breaths to compose yourself, you crept into the pitch-black den with your senses on high alert. At the heart of it sat the beast himself.

“Who dares to come into my home?”

With a shaky hand, you reached into your bag and quickly pulled out a dead fox as an offering.

“A-Aragog? It’s um…it’s Y/N, the one who has been coming with Hagrid to feed you. I have umm… I have some birds and foxes for you.”

The large arachnid stalked closer to you, its eyes like black holes as it seemed to stare into your soul.

“Yes… the young fleshy girl who claims to be a friend of Hagrid. Tell me, where is my keeper? What have you done to him?”

The hairs on the back of your neck stood on end and your fight or flight instincts began to kick in.

“I-I-I didn’t do anything to him. He… he isn’t feeling well and I told him I’d come and bring you dinner…”

You hadn’t realized you were backing up until your heel caught a crooked root poking through the ground. Pain shot through your ankle as you fell against the floor of the den. Aragog clicked his fangs together and you flinched as his voice boomed around you angrily.

“I don’t believe you! I’ve known Hagrid for over fifty years, and not once has he missed a feeding!”

As graceful as your sprained ankle would allow, you scrambled to your feet and dumped the dead birds and foxes on the ground in front of you.

“H-Here’s your food… I… I’m just gonna go…”

The venom from his fangs began to drip on the ground as he moved even closer to you.

“Go? Oh, I don’t think so, friend of Hagrid. Those foxes and birds may sate my son's and daughter's hunger, but they won't satisfy me."

Ignoring the throb in your injured foot, you clambered out of the den as fast as you could. Branches swatted you in the face as you sprinted toward Hagrid's hut. Aragog was hot on your heels as the castle grounds became more and more visible. Just a few more feet and you'd be safe.

A rotted tree trunk caught your eye, but it was too late for you to avoid it. You hit the ground with a sickening thud, your wrist that broke your fall was surely broken. Turning to face the fastly approaching acromantula, you pleaded for him to stop.

"Aragog, please! ….I...I didn't do anything to Hagrid… please don't hurt me!"

The giant spider loomed over you, its fangs clicking together violently.

"Goodbye, friend of Hagrid…"

You let out a blood-curdling scream as its pincers tore into your flesh, the moonlight fading away until you slipped into unconsciousness.

Nights were usually the time Severus took to think. It was his free time, save for the occasional disobedient student wandering the corridors. He'd just walked past the open courtyard when a small owl flew down to land on his shoulder.

"Get off me you insolent bird!"

It let out a screech and circled him before settling on his other arm.

"Merlin’s beard, what is it that you want?!"

Just as he was about to send it away, he noticed a small charm bracelet attached to the owl's left leg. Curious, he cast Lumos and read the inscription.

Name: Nova Jane

Property of: Y/F/N Y/L/N

"I see...you're the property of the new Slytherin girl. Go on then! Go back to the dormitory."

Nova nipped at the buttons on his sleeve and screeched loudly. Just as Severus was about to scare it off, your scream echoed throughout the castle grounds.

"Take me to her! Now!"

Nova took flight and soared in the direction of the Forbidden Forest. Severus ran as quickly as he could, his robes flowing behind him like a cape. His heart thundered against his chest as he broke through the treeline.

The moment he saw Hagrid's acromantula towering over you, he drew his wand and aimed for its head.

"AVADA KEDAVRA!"

The spell sent Aragog catapulting backward, its body falling lifeless against the base of a large tree.

Seeing you lying there motionless made his blood run cold.

"Oh, Merlin…no no no..."

He sank down in the mud and put two fingers against your neck, a breath of relief falling from his lips when a faint pulse fluttered against them. His eyes scanned your body, worry prickling his skin at the number of deep cuts you had. He knew you wouldn't survive if he didn't act now.

With a shaky hand, he pointed his wand to the deep gash in your abdomen.

"Vulnera sanentur…"

A glow illuminated from it and within seconds it was as if the wound never existed. He did the same for the other large wounds as well as your wrist and ankle before lifting you into his arms. He may have stopped the bleeding, but you still had the acromantula's venom flowing freely in your veins. He only had a few minutes to reverse the toxins.

Closing his eyes, he apparated to his sleeping chambers and gently laid you on his bed. Severus worked quickly to mix up the antivenom. Once it was mixed properly, he used a syringe to inject it into all of your main arteries.

It became a waiting game. You'd lost a lot of blood, nearly too much, and all Severus could do now was hope you'd wake up. He found himself pacing, checking your pulse every so often to make sure you were still breathing. Eventually, the adrenaline in his body wore off, and it made him realize how tired he was.

He shed his robe, toed his shoes off, and with a snap of his fingers, a fire began to crackle and pop in the fireplace. He sat and pondered to himself. What was he supposed to do with you? It wasn't like he could take you to Madame Pomfrey now. Not after he'd healed you the best he could. Plus, he was sure the other Hogwarts staff would question him on why he took you back to his chambers. Honestly, he wasn't even sure why he'd done it. He acted on pure instinct.

His gaze wandered over to where you were laying. Severus felt himself relax upon seeing your chest rise and fall. He'd done it. He'd saved you. His eyes began to get heavy as he listened to your soft breathing. Unable to stay awake any longer, he let sleep consume him.

The smell of tea filled your nostrils as you tried to recall where you were. Last night's events flooded your mind and your eyes immediately snapped open.

Scanning the room, your brows furrowed in confusion. This wasn't the hospital wing, and it definitely wasn't Hagrid's. You sat up, your back against the headboard, and scanned your exposed skin. Other than a few bruises, there wasn't any sign of injury on you at all. Had it all been a dream?

The sound of the door opening brought you out of your thoughts. Your eyes widened at the sight of your Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher carrying a teacup and saucer.

"Oh, you're up. Good." He strode over and set the cup down on the nightstand next to you. "Drink this. It'll help you feel better."

You blinked up at him, your eyes staring into his obsidian ones. Even though he wore a scowl ninety percent of the time, your professor wasn't bad looking. In fact, you found him quite attractive. His form-fitting robes with all those buttons and his confidence drew you in almost immediately.

It was then that you remembered he'd spoken to you. Forcing your brain to form words, you stuttered out a response.

"I...um…th-thank you, Professor…"

His stone-faced expression didn't waver as he sat down on the comforter next to you.

"Why, Y/N? Why would you put yourself in danger like that?! You could have been killed! Merlin, if it wasn't for your insolent bird, you would have been!"

You focused on your lap, your cheeks red with shame.

"M'sorry… I was just t-trying to help Hagrid fe-"

You slapped your hand over your mouth and internally cursed yourself. Hagrid made you promise not to tell anyone you were helping him, and here you've almost told none other than Professor Snape!

"Go on…"

Shaking your head, you moved to get off the bed.

"I… I can't… Thank you for saving me, Professor. I'll just be going…"

His firm hand came to rest on your thigh and with little force, he pushed you back down onto the bed.

"Listen to me, Y/N. I'm your Head of House. Either you tell me what you were doing in that forest, or I'll make you tell me."

The demand in his tone sent shivers down your spine. It really should be a sin to have a voice like his.

"I-I...um…"

Severus rolled his eyes and stood to walk across the room. He came back with a vial, with a small amount of liquid in the bottom.

"Know what this is?"

You shook your head.

"This is Veritaserum. Three drops of this, and it'll make you spill your darkest...of secrets…"

You watched as he poured the small amount of liquid into a glass of butterbeer.

"Drink…"

Instead of obeying his orders you grabbed the teacup off the saucer and swallowed its contents.

"Thank you, Professor, but I’m no longer thirsty and I don't like butterbeer."

For the first time since you arrived at Hogwarts, his lips gave a hint of a smile.

"It's no matter. What do you suppose I did with the rest of the serum, hm?"

All the color drained from your face, your mouth opening and closing like you were a fish out of water.

"The tea…"

Your professor chuckled, "Yes, the tea. Now, tell me, what were you doing in the Forbidden Forest after curfew?"

You couldn't stop them. It was as if you were possessed. The words came flowing out of you on their own accord.

"I was helping Hagrid feed his mythical creatures. He's in the infirmary sick and I offered to do it so he didn't have to."

Severus narrowed his eyes. "How long have you been doing this?"

You swallowed thickly. “Since the first day of school. Some of the other Slytherin girls were bullying me so I went for a walk. It was then that I formally met Hagrid. He offered me his spare bedroom, and I’ve been sleeping there ever since…”

He rose to his feet and began pacing again, his hands behind his back. “And he lets you stay...for free?”

“I can stay as long as I help him tend to the mythical creatures that live in the forest. He taught me everything he knows and I help him with feedings.”

Severus stopped and turned to face you. “Did you ever think of coming to me for help with the bullying? I am the Head of Slytherin you know.”

Oh, how you wished you could hold back the words threatening to escape. No matter how hard you tried, it was no use.

“I was too nervous to come to you, Professor.”

He raised an eyebrow, his hands fidgeting out in front of him. He knew his presence intimidated most of the children attending Hogwarts, but he decided to use this to his advantage.

“Obviously...And why, do you suppose, I make you so nervous, Y/N?”

“I suppose it’s because I’m in love with you.”

Your response came out just above a whisper, but he still heard every word. Out of every scenario in his mind, Severus did not expect you, a young woman, to say that. For a rare moment in his life, he was rendered speechless. It took him a moment to collect himself, but once he did he noticed your face was buried in your hands. Merlin, help him, you were crying and it was all his fault.

He slowly moved to where you were laying and sat down so he was at your level. Without giving it any thought, he pulled you into his chest and began rubbing small circles on your back to soothe you.

“Merlin, what was I thinking? I shouldn’t have forced the truth out of you like that. Please...forgive me.”

You clutched at his robes and moved your tear-filled eyes to his.

“I forgave you the moment it happened, Professor.”

A few silent moments passed between the two of you and he continued to hold your gaze. Severus was the first to move. Ever so slowly, he leaned down to capture your lips.

His mouth melded with yours perfectly, and he didn’t stop until his lungs demanded it. Your eyes closed, your forehead coming to rest against his.

“Professor I-”

He silenced you with another chaste kiss. “Severus…Call me Severus, Y/N.”

“Please Severus…make love to me.”

His resolve broke the moment the plea fell from your lips. Severus gently laid you back and gently rid you of your tattered robes. His calloused hands slid over your smooth skin making your breath hitch. He peppered kisses down into the crook of your neck, his path moving to the space between your breasts.

“S-Severus...please…need you…”

He nipped playfully at your jaw and sat up slightly to take his shirt off.

“Patience, Y/N… I’ll take care of you.”

Once he was bare before you he made his way between your legs. His touch was tentative, his fingertips brushing your folds gingerly. He circled your clit making you arch off the bed.

“Oh, Merlin!... Fuck!”

Severus chuckled and slid two of his fingers inside you curling them upwards.

“Bloody hell, you’re soaked, Y/N…”

He easily found the sensitive spot inside of you, the coil in your core winding tighter and tighter with each passing second.

“Please! Oh…shit… Se-Severus! M’gonna cum… please… please make me cum!”

His cock twitched at your words, precum leaking from the tip.

“Let go, Y/N...cum for me…”

With a cry of his name, you fell over the edge. Your chest heaved as you pulled him up for a heated kiss.

“Need you, Sev. Need you inside me. Please…”

As carefully as he could, Severus lined himself up and pushed into you.

“Merlin, you’re so tight!”

His thrusts were steady and his kisses were fervent as he made love to you.

“Oh, fuck! Sev! Oh, you’re so good… so good, baby…”

Both of you wanted it to last, but it was clear you both needed the release more.

“Y/N, I won’t last much longer like this… you feel amazing...so amazing.”

You slid your fingers through his thick hair and pulled his mouth down to yours. “Cum with me, Severus…”

A moment later, both of you soared into bliss together. His lips rested against your own and his body shook as he spilled into you, your walls clenching around his cock. Severus was spent as he settled behind you, his arm wrapped protectively around your waist.

“Y/N, I need to know you’re okay with this...with us…”

Threading your fingers with his, you planted a sweet kiss on the back of his hand.

“Severus, our love may be forbidden, but I’d choose you no matter what it cost me. I’ll take you as you are. Your highs, your lows, all of it. I’ll love you until my last breath.”

He turned you in his arms and cupped your cheek.

“I never thought I’d ever love another. Not after Lily, but seeing you in the forest like that sparked something in me. Something I haven’t felt for nearly fourteen years. I’ll spend forever protecting and loving you.

As your eyes grew heavy, you felt a new sense of worth. Coming to Hogwarts was something you’d only dreamed of growing up. The moment you found your acceptance letter, you knew your life would change. You never thought you’d find someone to love here, but for once you were happy, and that’s all you’d ever wanted.

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writemywaytoyourheart · 8 months

Text

Bedeviled | Chapter 14: Always Faithful, Always Strong

Pairing: demon!jungkook x female reader

Genre: romance, angst, drama, horror

WC: 16.3k

Warnings for this chapter: strong language, anxiety, fear, mentions of blood and injuries, religious themes, mentions of past death and grief, tensionnnn, talk of loss of virginity, JK has mood issues, cruelty, insinuation of torture, betrayal...if there is anything i missed pls kindly let me know

Previous ML

The little angel holding your hand smiled excitedly at you.

“See? It doesn’t hurt anymore,” she whispered.

You nodded slowly, looking over at the taller figure beside the small angel. You couldn’t see their face due to the forest-green glow illuminating them from the inside out. Still, they felt so very familiar.

“Are you ready?”

You looked back at the small child when she spoke again, still grinning. Her smile was brighter than all the stars in the sky, the pale yellow wings on her back so tiny and fragile.

Larger front teeth protruded slightly from her mouth, making her look like a rabbit.

A very cute rabbit.

You couldn’t stop the smile from spreading on your face.

Her sweet grin really did remind you of someone…

“Am I ready for what?” You asked, confused. Your mind was a little blank.

A tiny giggle that sounded like ringing bells fell from the child’s lips, “To go home.”

You blinked slowly.

“Home?”

The ghost of the word left your mouth quietly in a single breath, full of a longing you’d never felt.

“Mhm!”

You swallowed the lump in your throat.

The grip on your hand tightened a little more.

Turning your head, your brows furrowed when you saw someone lying in the bed you got out of. She was in a very worn-through white nightgown, her face drained of life as she lay there, a thin layer of sweat glistening on her splotchy face. She appeared to be in a deep sleep.

One she would not wake from.

The rest of the shack was no livelier. There was a vase full of roses, but they were wilted beyond saving.

It was cold and dark.

And lonely.

You turned back to the two beings and gave a small nod.

“I’d like to go home.”

The little girl smiled giddily, then all you could see was white brightness closing in around you and a warmth that enveloped your cold body.

Blue, pink, and purple lights appeared, surrounding you. Gold and silver swirled around in beautiful shapes. Colors you’d never seen before danced in your vision as the sound of beautiful music played, bringing a deep and wonderful ache into your heart.

Then everything was white again.

You blinked hard a few times.

Your heart stopped for a moment when you saw that you were surrounded by clouds. Looking down, you realized you were standing on one.

Oh.

Oh my.

“____.”

The voice was that of a woman’s; deep but gentle, like a pool of warm chocolate. It brought a comfort so strong you felt your eyes water at just the single word.

It came from the shining figure.

The little angel was gone, only the tall being remained, standing in front of you. You still couldn’t see their face, but you were not afraid. You looked at them expectantly.

“You suffered for a long time.”

A single unwitting tear fell from your eye at the unexpected words. It slid down your cheek and fell to the clouds underfoot.

No one had ever spoken to you with such empathy in your entire existence; an empathy that reached deep into your soul where no other had touched.

You’d never felt more understood.

Then the feeling of grief washed over you. It was as if every painful thing that ever happened to you was consuming your mind and body in a matter of seconds, taking your breath away. Even though you couldn’t remember what exactly had happened before waking up in that room, you could feel every agonizing minute of it.

“You were alone for so long, scared for so many years, carrying it all on your own. Everything you gained along the way, you lost horribly by the end.”

You looked at the figure that was watching you closely and gulped, the pain not ceasing as you fell to your knees, unable to handle the agony surging through you.

“Was it worth it, ____?”

Tears fell from your eyes steadily as you held your heart, body shaking.

Then you could see him: his sweet smile as he handed you an apple, the warmth of his hand that held yours, the big brown eyes that looked into your own with a comfort so strong it never failed to fix anything that was scaring you…his beautiful soul.

No matter how wretched it felt at times in that life, you were never alone.

A sob tore itself from your throat as you began to remember everything that you had forgotten at first. Everything that you had, no matter how fleeting, before it was ripped from you.

You looked up at the figure that brought you to this place.

“Yes,” you whispered.

Although you couldn’t see it, you felt the invisible person smile.

All at once, the pain was gone, replaced with a joy so breathtaking you knew you would do every single second of it again, even if you had been truly alone.

You walked along slowly, the invisible person at your right as the two of you strolled through the clouds. She was so tall that if you could see her clearly, you were sure the top of your head would only reach her elbow.

“Why did you say I was alone most of my life?” You asked quietly, “If you already knew I wasn’t after meeting him.”

“Did the thought not cross your mind, ____?” The woman’s voice asked gently, “Were there not times you felt it was that way?”

You gulped, then gave a small nod, “At the hardest times…I suppose I did, yes.”

“That is why I phrased it that way. That thought, that doubt, was always there; lingering in the back of your mind. No, you didn’t think he wasn’t there for you. But on those dark nights without him there, it would come back. That anger of what was happening to you would come back, wouldn’t it?”

You nodded slowly.

“You needed to answer the question with that present. You needed to realize the truth yourself in the face of that despair.”

“Oh. That makes sense.”

They nodded and you two fell into silence once more.

“Where are we going?” You asked, watching your feet disappear into clouds impossibly soft but still strong enough to hold you up.

You had always dreamed of being in the clouds. It was so much more than you had ever imagined.

“We’re going home.”

You hummed in response, then spoke up again, “Why did I forget everything for a little bit? How could I have forgotten him?”

“Do not blame yourself. It can happen at times, when someone passes. Especially if that person passed in a traumatic way. Those that do, tend to forget briefly who they were or where they came from. But it comes back rather quickly.”

“Oh…where did she go?” You whispered after a moment of contemplating, “The little angel.”

“You will see her again,” There was a gentle amusement in the being’s tone as she continued to walk beside you. You had a feeling she was more amused by your incessant questions than irritated.

“Oh, good.”

As you walked, you suddenly saw a huge golden gate ahead, appearing from the clouds.

“Is this home?” You asked breathlessly, stopping in front of the magnificent structure. You weren’t sure what was beyond them, but something was pulling you there, tugging gently at your heart.

“It is.”

You just knew that the moment you stepped through those gates, you would never feel out of place again.

Someone was waiting inside for you.

They had waited a very long time.

There, you would belong.

“Can I go in?”

“You can. Before you do, there is one more thing.”

__________________________________

“I’m letting you out of the deal.”

You feel your heart stop in your chest at his words, then tears spring to your eyes. You shake your head and pull back, not missing the way he reluctantly lets go of you.

“No.”

“What?” His brows scrunch and he takes a step towards you as you move back even more, wincing at the pain when you walk.

“I don’t want out-”

“You don’t know what you’re saying,” He snaps, “Because you can’t stop thinking about him. Just stop for a moment and think!!”

You shake your head but he steps closer, an angry yet desperate look on his face.

“If you refuse me now, I won’t give you another chance.”

“I know.”

“Are you fucking insane?” He looks at you in disbelief, “Do you have any idea what you’re getting yourself into by agreeing to this?”

“Yes.”

“Why are you so in love with him?! Why can’t you see what’s happening?” His eyes are wild with rage, “You are damning yourself to He-”

“What if I stay?”

You see the look of shock flash over his face as he takes a step back, going from one hundred to zero in a millisecond.

“You-...what?”

You swallow, feeling very small and unsure right now.

“You want me to stay, don’t you?”

The demon blinks a few times.

If you stay, it will be horrendous for you. It will be painful and wretched and nothing will ever make it better. But he doesn’t say that. He doesn’t tell you that.

He’s selfish.

And he wants you to stay, no matter what it might do to you.

If you go through all of this just for some idiot mortal boy, he wants no part of it. But if you stay for him…

If one thing is true, it is that misery so very much loves company.

You see one of his black brows raise slightly, as if you’ve gotten his attention.

Taking a deep breath, you stay strong.

Although it was a rash decision to use those words driven by exhaustion and panic, you knew you could buy time, that he would take it, that he would consider it.

What else could you expect from a demon?

“You don’t want him anymore?”

The way he says ‘him’ is bitter. Jealousy and rage crammed into that one small word.

You eye him carefully, “We still need to go through with the deal. We don’t stop here.”

He glares at you, “Why.”

“I came here to get something. I want to finish what I started. I won’t just toss it all out the window now.”

JK grinds his teeth for a moment, trying not to get angry.

“Fine,” he eventually spits, “You’ll get the Flame, if that’s what you’re so fucking obsessed with.”

“Thank you,” you whisper, voice breaking a little.

He rolls his eyes and lets out a sigh, “Your stupid little friend apparently doesn’t have a lot of time to become immortal. Let’s just keep going.”

You nod, following as he starts off. Almost immediately, you notice him slowing to keep pace with you as you limp slowly. He doesn’t talk much at first and you get the sense that he’s embarrassed for exposing himself like he did. The fact that he wants you to stay, no matter how selfish the intentions are…it means there’s something there.

Not long after walking again, though, he starts to talk.

“Why ‘Apple’?”

“I like apples.”

“Oh.”

Only a second passes before the next question.

“What made you decide to wear a dress? It’s not a very practical decision when one is planning to get the Flame of Immortality from the center of Hell.”

“I like dresses,” your voice cracks a little and you swallow, rubbing your throat with your hand gently.

He rolls his eyes.

“Well…is white your favorite color to wear then? Or brown…?”

You look sideways at him suspiciously but answer slowly anyway, “Umm…they’re some of my favorites, yeah.”

“What are your other favorites-”

He stops speaking and comes to a halt when you turn to him, badly scraped hands moving to your hips.

“Why are you asking me all these-...innocent questions?”

“What? You’d rather I ask something else?” He snaps, handsome face set in an annoyed scowl.

“Well, no-”

“Are you a virgin?”

You take a step back, looking at him with an appalled expression.

He only smirks.

“You got pissy when I asked questions I thought suited you. Figured I’d try something different.”

“Yellow and pink…and blue.”

You ignore the confusion written all over his face as you walk around him and keep hobbling along.

The sores on your hands and feet are extremely irritated and sore, the ones in your mouth a little less so. There’s still dried blood on the corners of your mouth and your bones ache so deeply you could curl into a ball on the ground and be fine with never moving again. The pain in your stomach lingers, but is nothing compared to when you were in the eighth circle. You still refuse to look at the wound on your right ankle from when the old man covered in flames grabbed you. It’s painful enough without getting a mental picture that will probably make it worse.

Overall, everything hurts. Your body continues to grow weaker simply being in Hell, steadily shutting down by the hour.

But you can certainly manage.

You have to.

“What the hell does that even mean?”

You bite your tongue as he jogs over to keep in step with you again.

“You asked what my favorite colors are to wear.”

He groans loudly next to you, “I don’t know why I keep forgetting how fucking annoying you are.”

“Aw, that’s sweet, JK.”

“Shuddup.”

You chuckle quietly, gnawing gently on your tender bottom lip as you keep your eyes forward, a million thoughts swarming your brain.

“What’s your favorite color to wear?” You ask as you glance at him teasingly, “Black? How original.”

He sneers at you, “Wow, you’re so fucking funny. You should be a comedian.”

“I might just do that.”

“What do you do, anyway?” He slows down a little more to stay alongside you after unconsciously walking faster. He can’t help it, with legs as long as his it’s second nature, “You said you’re nineteen. School? Work?”

“Mm, neither.”

“Neither?”

“Well, work I guess.”

“You guess.”

“Mhm,” You pick at the blood under your fingernails.

“Care to elaborate?”

He sounds annoyed with needing to ask for further details.

“No, not really.”

He bites his tongue before he gets the chance to snap at you.

“Ok, fine,” He says slowly, controlled, “You kind of work.”

You hide the smile creeping up on you.

“So you’ve never really had any hopes for the future?”

“I didn’t say that,” You correct him calmly.

“Well you sure as hell aren’t convincing me otherwise.”

You look at him as you walk, “Why should I need to convince anyone but myself?”

“I-” He stares at you for a second, “Never mind.”

It’s not even quiet for thirty seconds before his next wave of probing comes.

“Why apples, though? Pears are better than apples.”

A lump forms in your throat and you have to mentally push the memories out of your mind. Memories of him always preferring pears over any fruit.

“Because Pear would be a stupid name.”

He chuckles, taking you by surprise.

“Well,” You hum, “Pear is actually pretty cute now that I think about it.”

“Whatever you say, mortal.”

“It’s Apple.”

“I’m not calling you Apple.”

“Well then I’ll just call you Pear-”

“You absolutely will not.”

You scowl at him.

“I’ll do whatever I want.”

“Yeah?” He snags your arm, making you stop and pulling you to him at the same time, a dangerously flirty smirk on his face, “Is that supposed to scare me, Apple?”

Your heart lurches and your mouth feels dry.

He leans closer, “Go ahead and do what you want, I’ve nothing against that.”

You try to scoff but it doesn’t come out very strong so it kind of just sounds like you choke.

“I-I…I-”

“Y-y-you what?” The smirk is still on his face, mischief lighting up his dark eyes.

You try your best to glare at him, but it doesn’t seem to deter him at all.

He just leans in again, “If you stay,” his lips are close to your ear as cold breath sends tingles down your spine, “We could cause all sorts of trouble, Apple girl.”

You’re beginning to second guess your judgment of telling him that name.

It’s not the same as him saying it. It hurts a lot more than when he said it. It’s his voice, his face, his eyes that look into yours as it’s whispered.

But it’s not the same.

It used to be filled with so much love.

Now it’s tainted with a shadowy wickedness whispering behind it. But after not hearing it from his lips for five hundred years, it still makes your heart race.

“I get the impression you cause enough trouble on your own,” you whisper, pulling back and looking at him.

“You’d be right,” he chuckles darkly, also pulling away.

Your eyes fall away from his piercing gaze, looking over his shoulder.

He snaps out of the trance he was in as he looked at you when you point over his shoulder and ask, “What’s that?”

JK turns to see a gnarled mountain in the distance that’s smaller than the others, right in the middle of the barren wasteland; the bottom thick and the top coming to a sharp point.

“Ah,” he tilts his head and stretches his neck both ways, “You’ll see later.”

You give him a look but don’t bother responding.

It feels like you can finally breathe when he steps away.You don’t understand how he can so easily flit from one emotion to the next. He’s acting like he didn’t just bare his entire soul to you when he offered to let you go not even that long ago.

“You never answered my question,” He says as he starts to walk, once again matching your speed, or lack thereof.

“Which one?”

“I think you know which one.”

Your cheeks heat involuntarily and you clear your throat.

“I’m not having this conversation with you.”

“Why not?”

“Because it’s none of your business!”

“I think you’re embarrassed.”

“And why would I be?” You ask.

“Because you’re definitely a virgin.”

You scoff loudly, “If I am or I’m not, neither of them would make me embarrassed. I have no reason to be ashamed either way.”

“That’s exactly what a virgin would say.”

“Shut up!” You grumble, “If you want to know so bad then you have to answer a question of mine.”

“Fire away.”

“Just like that?” You look at him in disbelief, “After all this time and all the trouble you’ve given me, you’ll answer anything just to know if I’m a virgin?”

He shrugs, “I’m curious.”

You mutter in annoyance to yourself for a moment, then you look at him.

“What’s with the tattoos? Why are two colored and the rest not?”

“I don’t know.”

“I-” You glare fiercely at him, “Tell me you’re joking.”

“I’m not.”

You stop walking, which makes him stop to look at you.

“So, let me get this straight,” You say calmly, scratched up and bruised hands folded nicely in front of you, “It has been however long…I have answered many of your questions, and you have avoided almost every single one of mine.”

“And?”

“And you acted like it was some huge deal that you would only tell me in exchange for something equally as big, and yet you don’t even know the answer yourself.”

“Pretty much, yeah.”

You wouldn’t be surprised if he could see steam billowing out from your ears.

“You’re so- so exasperating!!”

He laughs at the fact that that’s the best insult you could come up with in your state of enraged shock.

“Technically I never said I knew.”

“Agh!” You throw your hands up in the air before pointing a finger in his face and standing up on your tiptoes to get closer, “I’m never telling you if I’m a virgin or not! Never!” Then you hurry around him and start marching away. You hear him laughing behind you, then the sound of him running to catch up with you.

“You’re so naive.”

“Don’t talk to me.”

He grins annoyingly, shaking his head, “Such a grouch.”

“I’ll show you a grouch in a minute if you don’t let me calm down.”

He puts his hands up in defense, “Damn, ok.”

Your face feels hot with anger, your cheeks undoubtedly red with the blood that’s rushed there.

Cool air would be nice right about now, but that’s a joke to even think about. Fanning with your hands does absolutely nothing. In fact, it might be making it worse.

You drop your hands to your side and sigh.

It’s no use being so angry. Him not knowing is technically an answer in itself. That’s what you wanted to know anyway, with several things.

Back when you first got here, he spoke as if he was a demon since the fall of the angels, that he was one of them, that he chose it.

Clearly his memories are not only gone, but corrupted into a false story that he believes is true though there are gaps in it that confuse even him. Like the fire, and the tattoos, and probably several other things; like the handkerchief in his pocket that he gave you when your eyes were burning. The one that looked like his mother’s…

She used to carry soft cream-colored ones around everywhere, and gave some to him.

That’s what he used to bandage your ankle when you were young.

What would his answer be if you asked him about that handkerchief?

You gulp.

He’s confused when you ask certain questions like that, you can tell. And confusion is the first step, as long as the timing is right.

Your breathing has calmed considerably and the anger has dissipated when he speaks up again.

“Are you calm now?”

“Yes,” you laugh quietly.

“You can have another go, if it’s made you that upset.”

“You must seriously want to know if I’ve done it, nothing ever makes you this generous…I’m not upset anymore, I do have a question though, that I’d like to be answered.”

“Go ahead.”

“I’ll answer yours first.”

“Ok.”

You nibble your bottom lip, your cheeks flushing for a reason entirely different from anger now.

“I’m not a virgin.”

“Oh...wow.”

You turn your head to see that he looks genuinely surprised as he stares at you while you walk.

“Why does that shock you so much?” You chuckle.

“It’s just-” He shakes his head, “You’re so pure, it-”

“I’m pure?”

When his eyes lift to yours again, he sees a teasing smile on your face.

“Two questions,” You hold up two fingers.

He nods, apparently shocked into temporary silence.

“One: how do you know that I’m pure? And two: who says that not being a virgin would take that away?”

He scoffs, “Isn’t it obvious? I can see your soul, mortal. All demons can see the state of someone’s soul. It’s how they know their weak points, how easy they are to break.”

The demon stops and turns to you then, a look in his eyes that you don’t understand.

“How valuable they are to them.”

One of your brows lifts, “Ah, I see. And why would I be any less pure without being a virgin?”

“Your innocence would be gone.”

“And?” You look him dead in the eye, “Is my innocence gone?”

The way he stares at you makes you feel exposed, as if he’s peeled away your skin and can see right through you, into the deepest parts of your being. He is quite literally staring into your soul.

“No,” he whispers, his voice sounding confused at this revelation.

“Didn’t He make it for the human race as a gift?”

“I mean…I suppose, but-”

“And if I didn’t abuse it, if I used the gift as it was meant to be used, did I not do what He had intended for me?”

The demon swallows, confusion thick in the air as he stares at you, extremely unsure of everything he thought he knew.

“The act itself is not sinful,” you whisper, watching all the emotions flitting across his face as he tries to figure it out, “The intentions and circumstances behind it? They certainly can be.”

He says nothing, thoroughly befuddled in every sense of the word.

“I think innocence comes in many forms. I am far from perfect, but I do know that I did no wrong when it came to losing my virginity.”

“Oh.” Is all he’s able to come up with.

After another minute of him working through things in his brain, he clears his throat.

“So this…this best friend of yours…is he-?”

“Is he the one that I shared myself with?”

He nods, uncertainty still clear on his face.

How strange it is to be informing him that you are not a virgin when he himself is the only one you had ever been with.

“Why does it matter?”

“It doesn’t.”

You step closer, eyes not leaving his, “You said demons know when souls are valuable to them.”

He nods, but says nothing.

“And?” You take another step towards him, as if offering for him to look again, “How valuable is my soul to you?”

“Any demon would stop at nothing to take your soul.”

“I’m not interested in just any demon,” you whisper, “I want to know how valuable it is to you. That’s my question, that’s what I want you to tell me. You didn’t answer me before, when I asked you how you felt.”

“I did.”

“No, you didn’t. Not really.”

“I told you,” he grits out as you step ever closer, “I can’t.”

“If I am so valuable to Hell’s collection of souls, how could you offer to free me? How valuable can I possibly be if you’re willing to let me keep my soul?”

JK gulps, pursing his lips.

“How can a demon let go of a soul that any other would stop at nothing to take?” You whisper, eyes searching his, pushing just a little more.

“Stop.”

“You said you would answer me.”

His eyes fall from yours.

“Why are you doing this?”

“Why did you offer to let me leave?”

“It doesn’t matter now,” he hisses, “You refused, and I told you, I will not offer it again.”

“Then why offer it in the first place?”

You gulp when his eyes raise to yours again, anger and something else there, something you’ve seen flash through them before, but very rarely.

You realize with a jolt to your heart what it is.

Sorrow.

“You want to know how valuable your soul is to me?” He glares at you, stepping closer until you can feel his cold breath on your cheeks, “I would do anything to rip it straight out of you. Anything.”

You blink rapidly, holding back the tears that are threatening to come.

“I would risk losing hundreds of other souls just to have this one.”

A cold finger runs along your chest, stopping right in the middle and not moving.

“How valuable are you to me…?” A painful ache surges through you at his slight change of words

“So valuable-” His voice drops below a whisper, “That I would’ve let.. you.. go..”

Your heart is hammering in your chest and you know he can feel it.

“JK…”

You don’t finish your sentence and he says nothing to fill the quiet. That’s when something else hits you.

Tears spring to your eyes at the realization.

“You-...”

His eyes stay locked on yours.

“You kept talking earlier, asking silly things,” you mumble tearfully, sniffling, “Because you knew I didn’t like it to be quiet.”

His following silence is answer enough.

“I can’t,” is all he says after a minute.

You nod slowly, his previous words floating through your mind.

‘I can’t…love you.’

He can’t love you, but he can let you go; that’s all he knows how to do.

You bite your bottom lip harshly, the stinging pain a welcome distraction from the one on the inside. After a moment to gather yourself, you nod again, not looking directly at him as he watches you with a look so unlike this version of him you don’t think you can handle it.

Then you raise yourself up, just enough to plant a quick kiss on his cheek.

As you’re lowering yourself back down, you stop at the feeling of his hand on your cheek, though you keep your eyes downcast.

I’m sorry, Jungkook.

That you had to be alone for so long, that you had to wait for me, until I could come to you.

I am so sorry.

“Hey.”

You finally look at him at the light tone of his voice.

“We’ll be at the ninth circle before too long, you can’t grow soft on me now,” he smirks gently at you, “What happened to that feisty little attitude of yours, little mortal?”

You swallow the tears building up in your throat, bottling them up and putting a cap on it.

You will not fail, ____.

Do not doubt yourself so.

Nodding slowly, you swallow again, biting your lip as hard as you can handle.

“I think I’m tired,” you croak, dropping your gaze to the ground between you.

His boots are still sleek and shiny, completely flawless. The laces going up his shins look brand new, not a fray to be seen. The contrast to your beaten and bloody feet wrapped in torn black silk from his shirt is almost comical.

“Only now?” He asks, a teasing lilt to his voice.

You breathe out a tiny laugh, “Yeah, didn’t really hit until now.”

“Ah.”

You rub your eyes, fighting the yawn creeping up on you.

“Let’s not talk about it,” you mumble, “It’s making me more tired.”

The sound of gravel moving makes you look at him as he turns to keep walking, granting your wish without a single protest.

“Come on,” he calls out without facing you, “If you fall asleep standing there I’m not carrying you.”

You follow slowly, your brain spinning in circles as you try to stay calm.

______________________________

“Can I go in?”

“You can. Before you do, there is one more thing.”

“What is it?”

“If you had the choice, would you like to become an angel?”

“I don’t understand,” You stared at the being that brought you to the golden gate in the clouds, brows furrowed in confusion at what they just said, “So…everyone that comes here is an angel…?”

Just like before, you felt her smile, even though you couldn’t see it, “Not everyone, no. The little ones that pass away in the womb become angels,” her voice was still so gentle and deep, it brought a wave of comfort over you just hearing it, “And some that were born and have lived a life worthy of it. Do not worry, everyone else that comes here is joyous regardless.”

‘The little ones that pass away in the womb become angels.’

Your heart stuttered in your chest when you thought of the little angel.

Could it really have been…?

Before you could break down into sobs and start begging to see the child, you cleared your throat, knowing the time would come to see her again. “And you…are you an angel?”

“I am.”

“Were you a human once?”

“No,” The voice had a distinct smile in it, “I was always your angel.”

“My angel?” You asked in astonishment.

“Yes.”

“What-” You shook your head to clear it, “What does that mean?”

Instead of getting an answer with words, you suddenly felt a strange pull in your chest. Then the being was gone and you were in your beloved forest, the breeze blowing the leaves gently. You turned this way and that, beyond confused.

“How-”

You got cut off by the sound of a tiny giggle. Turning in alarm, you froze at the sight of a small child on the ground by the apple tree, her back leaning against it as she played in the grass with her feet.

You, it was you…at four years old…

Taking a step closer to the small version of you, the grass soft beneath your feet, you sucked in a breath when you saw someone else there too, a warm smile on their face as they watched you laugh.

It was a woman who looked no older than twenty-five, but with an ancient wisdom in her emerald green eyes. She wore a dress of dark green that matched the deepest parts of the forest. Over it were thin plates of armor, a slender sword with a verdant hilt at her side. On her back were large wings that looked like a bird’s; the color of a sunlit field. One of the wings was wrapping around your small figure protectively.

Her hair was blonde, but looked to have hints of leaf green in it as well.

The angel’s beauty was unmatched; you had never even imagined someone could be so utterly breathtaking. She truly looked like an otherworldly being that had come from the forest itself.

There was a soft green glow about her as she placed a gentle hand on your head right after a bright red apple had bonked it harshly.

Her head turned at the same moment as your tiny one, looking at the fruit laying on the ground.

As little you stared at it in bewilderment, the angel looked up and a smile graced her elegant features.

You watched yourself reach for the apple, then you noticed the woman looking up into the tree and laughing delightedly. So, you looked up to see what she was watching.

Heart flying to your throat, you took a step back when you saw him.

The small boy with dark hair and eyes that were wide as he looked down at the child he accidentally dropped an apple on. He scrambled down the tree quickly to apologize.

All of the figures began to shimmer before disappearing, despite your sudden cry for them not to go.

You gulped and pressed a hand to your forehead as another scene unfolded in front of you.

The river was there, just ahead. Cold water rushed by, higher than it usually was. After only a moment, you realized what day you were looking back on. Seconds later, you saw two children running over to the river and laughing.

The little girl said something you couldn’t hear as the boy bent down to pick up a pretty rock. In the next instant, the girl ran into the water. It was swift as it took her off her feet immediately.

The boy looked up, then dropped the rock and leapt into the water to save the younger child.

You watched in horror as he screamed for her, swimming as best as he could.

But his arms were too small and the current was too strong.

You couldn’t even see the girl anymore, she was gone, dragged under the surface.

Then you saw the woman again.

She was on the riverbank, tall and beautiful as always. She reached a hand down into the river and grabbed hold of something before pulling it up effortlessly.

You saw your own little hand come out of the water as she pulled you out, then your head broke the surface. You gasped and looked around before seeing your best friend holding on to the rose bush.

It was her…

That was the only thought in your head as the scene changed yet again.

You were back in the forest, by the apple tree. This time, you were watching yourself at fifteen as you cried your heart out after finding out that you were to marry Hoseok and your mother had hurled horrid insults at you.

“Why me?!” You heard yourself scream at the top of your lungs into the grass, throat burning and heart pounding painfully in your ears.

The angel was there on the ground beside you, bent over in order to have an arm and a wing around you in a warm embrace. You noticed with a hitch in your breath that she was crying too, crystal tears dripping down her porcelain skin and falling to the forest floor as she stroked your hair ever so gently.

She was whispering words of encouragement and reassurance in your ear even if you couldn’t hear it at the time.

Once again, the two figures weeping on the forest floor shimmered and disappeared. They were replaced with quick flashes of your life running across your vision, the angel always there; a warm proud smile on her face when you were kind or shining tears drenching her cheeks as you lay sobbing in your mother-in-law’s house after losing your child.

Then it was all gone.

You were once again surrounded by white clouds, the giant golden gate looming in front of you.

But this time, the being was no longer hidden from your view.

The woman from the visions stood in front of you, a soft knowing smile on her pretty lips.

If possible, she looked even more magnificent than in the memories.

She was twice your height, dressed in that beautiful green gown, the armor shining brilliantly and the sword safe at her side.

You gawked wordlessly at the huge wings behind her.

“Y-”

You gulped, shocked into speechlessness.

Her smile grew warmer at the look on your face.

Finally, you found the words.

“The invisible person,” you breathed, “That was you?”

Her head dipped slightly in confirmation.

All the times you ever felt scared, felt unsafe in any way, all the nights you couldn’t sleep thinking of the ghost in the forest…all of it seemed so silly then. With the angelic warrior walking beside you during every step in life, nothing was ever going to hurt you.

You blinked owlishly. “You…how are you my angel?” Was all you could think to say.

Her laughter was like waves crashing against the golden shore.

“There are many different angels. I am a guardian and I was tasked with keeping watch over you. Guardians have always been angels, from the beginning of time.”

“But…why me?”

“Everyone has a guardian angel,” she explained softly, “Most of them don’t know it until the end. When the Creator made me, He showed me some of your life. He asked me if I would love and protect you. I said yes. Until you were conceived, I simply waited.”

Your heart burst in your chest.

The angel’s first choice…was to love you?

Tears pricked at the corner of your eyes.

“Why don’t some people ever know of their angel until they die?” You whispered sadly.

She leaned down, blonde locks tinted with green falling over her shoulders.

“There are many forces at work in the world, ____. So very many of them with wicked intentions and a desire to wreak havoc and despair. They try their best to be the loudest. Sin is attractive, until you see its truest form.”

You gulped, “I didn’t know of you though, yet I still felt you there. Do others not?”

Your angel nodded sadly.

“Why?”

The look in her eyes was so vivid, it felt as though you were looking through each and every moment in history, every little thing she ever saw…Your heart ached deeply in your chest at her next words.

“Because mankind is lost,” she whispered lowly, “And has very much forgotten how to listen.”

_____________________________________________

The exhaustion is heavy on your shoulders.

Your eyelids feel like they’re being weighed down with hundred pound weights. But still you walk, dragging one foot after another, again and again. Steps eventually turn into miles. The scenery never changes.

JK walks beside you, but neither of you speaks very much. Every once in a while, you’ll mention something about how long this stretch is and how hot it is, and he’ll mumble an agreement.

It’s maddening that you can’t keep him in a certain state for long. He was opening up, he was softening even if just a little. The second the moment passes though, he clams right back up.

It happened when he offered to let you go, it happened when you spoke by the fire, it happened when you asked him about the value of your soul to him.

It has happened multiple times.

And yet each time it passes, he is no sooner retreating into his shell and pretending like it never happened in the first place.

The only thing keeping your spirits up at this point, is reminding yourself that if it wasn’t getting anywhere, he wouldn’t have softened even for a moment.

None of this is futile.

It is slow and it is painful.

But it is not futile.

Your stomach turns when you suddenly remember the voice.

The one that came back when you saw JK’s true form, that mocked him and delighted in his agony. It said something.

“This is my territory, little angel…you get out.”

He knows you’re here, and that you are not a mere mortal.

A sickening pit forms in your stomach. You don’t know what will come of it. But one thing is for sure; you have even less time than you thought.

“Back at the shed.”

You jump a little at the sound of his voice, but recover quickly and look at him as you continue to make your slow trek towards the oddly shaped mountain all alone in the middle of the wasteland.

“Hm?”

You watch him as he stares into the distance ahead, a small frown on his face.

“You said it was my fault.”

“Huh?” Your voice is weak.

You know exactly what he’s referring to, but you need time to think of an excuse.

“When you were losing your shit,” he speaks calmly, not a hint of anything but curiosity in his tone, “You said that it was all my fault.”

“W-Well, yeah,” you try to scoff, but it still shows the anxiety consuming you, “I was delirious from exhaustion and not to mention the unbearable heat. I mean come on, out here is bad enough, but in that circle-”

“Stop lying.”

You gulp, glancing at him briefly as you try not to stop the rhythm of your walk.

“I was exhausted and overheated,” you mumble quietly.

Technically you were, so that isn’t really a lie.

He sighs, “I suppose I brought this upon myself.”

“What?”

“I should’ve known that sooner or later you would refuse to answer my questions as I have yours,” he shakes his head, an annoyed smile on his face.

“I mean,” you laugh lightly, “It took me long enough to stop offering answers so freely.”

“Why did you? Before.”

“I don’t know,” you say softly, staring at a black cloud in the sky, “I think maybe I wanted to tell you, as unwise as it seemed at times.”

He doesn’t answer, but he does look at you closely as you walk.

“Have you never felt that way?” You whisper, still not looking away from that little cloud up there in the bloodstained sky, “Have you never felt so burdened with secrets and struggles that you felt such an urge to just let it out? To let it out to whoever gave you that chance, even if you knew that they would hurt you in the end…”

He blinks slowly, “That sounds like a burdensome way to live.”

“Oh it is,” you say softly as you drag your eyes away from the cloud and over to him.

“That’s why you offered things up so freely. Why you kept wanting to exchange information.”

“I suppose that’s one reason.” A sad laugh huffs from your lips.

“What’re the other reasons?”

“There you go again,” you look at him with a playful glare, “Tempting me to say all my secrets, just for a second of fresh air to breathe because I won’t be the only one holding them.”

He shakes his head, “That’s not what I’m doing.”

“Oh? And what are you doing, demon?”

He feels a strange unpleasant thud in his chest when you call him that. You’d been calling him by his name for so long now he had gotten almost used to it.

When he looks at you, he can see something different in your eyes. Something subtle but calculating. It’s a very careful look as you watch him, as if waiting to see what he’ll do, waiting to see the reaction you’ll get from him.

You know something that he doesn’t.

A foreign chill runs down his spine, startling him. You are a lot smarter than he’s given you credit for. A split second passes where he’s full of an uncomfortable thought that perhaps he’s never had the upper hand.

Perhaps everything has been on your terms.

A pit forms in his stomach when you begin to look different. Your hair doesn’t appear quite as tangled, nor does it look dirty. It tumbles down your shoulders in soft waves. The dress and cardigan you wear are not torn or messy with mud and other unsavory things.

As he stares into your eyes, there’s a very subtle color change in them. As if someone was standing behind him and flashed a bright golden light into your eyes for only a second.

Then it all fades away and he sees just you looking at him expectantly.

Just messy little you.

You look the same as you always have, only just a little confused now at his long stretch of silence. You don’t seem aware at all that he was quite literally seeing you in a different light momentarily.

“JK?” Your voice is soft, “Are you okay?”

“What?” He chokes out, voice thick with confusion and maybe just a little fear.

“You look like you just saw a ghost,” you giggle at the silly term down here and with a demon no less.

“Why did you call me that?”

“Huh?” You step closer, confused by his question.

“Why did you call me demon?”

“Did I?” Your brows furrow and you cock your head to the side, “I don’t think I did, though.”

“You did,” his voice comes out harsher than he intended.

“Oh,” you watch him closely, bewildered at his behavior, “Well, I’m sorry if I did. I wouldn’t have thought you’d mind if I did anyway, though.”

“I-” JK clears his throat, “I don’t. It just confused me for a second.”

“Oh…okay.”

Awkward silence falls between you two, then you nod slowly and turn to keep walking.

You’re not sure what just happened, but whatever it was, it rattled him quite a bit.

It takes a moment before you hear him start walking behind you.

“I shared because I thought you might share as well,” you call to him, “Nothing about you makes sense. You know that, right?”

“You’re the one that doesn’t make sense,” he scoffs, but jogs to catch up to you anyway.

“Look at us,” you gesture your arms out weakly, “What a pair we make. Nothing about us makes sense!”

He chuckles as you smile.

“Speak for yourself,” he nudges you in the arm as you walk, which makes you smile harder.

Maybe you can get that shell to crack again after all.

It took less time than you thought it would to get to the lone mountain. You look at it in confusion, head tilted back to see as high up as you can. “That took forever…it looked further away,” you mumble.

“When are you going to learn that nothing here is made to make sense?” JK looks up at it alongside you, “If it makes sense, you’re comfortable. You’re not supposed to be comfortable here.”

You turn to him, “Since you’re being somewhat honest right now, I’ve been curious about something for a long while.”

“Mm?” He doesn’t seem to be paying attention to you, his gaze directed towards the bent and twisted vines that cover the small mountain, all the way up to the top.

You two are around a hundred feet away, but you can see the dead climbing plants clearly. Part of you wonders if those are also snakes, like the ones at the entrance to the fourth circle.

The memory of that feels so old, like you had given your shoes up and had been walking on bare feet through Hell for years. It makes you feel strange, and unsettlingly confused.

“When I first got here,” you speak a little louder, relieved when he turns to you, “There was something I noticed that you did.”

“And what was that?” He whispers, subtle mischief reflecting in his dark eyes.

“Before we even got to the entrance, when we first spoke,” you keep your eyes on his face, watching for a hint of anything other than the bored expression now painting it, “You referred to it as the Underworld. Only after we passed through the gate-...”

There it is.

You see a flicker of something in his gaze. Swallowing thickly, you quietly finish what you were saying.

“Only after we passed through the gate did you call it Hell.”

You’re surprised to see a smirk spread on his face.

“Here I thought you were too daft to catch on to that, and yet you knew the whole time. I’m surprised, little mortal.”

You look indignant at that, but he doesn’t stop.

“Most humans don’t catch it consciously. Only in their subconscious do they realize how much more uncomfortable it feels to hear the word Hell.”

He whispers that last word as he leans closer, as if the term itself is dirty and he finds pleasure in seeing you squirm because of it.

You gulp but hold your ground as he moves even closer.

“I won’t tell you,” he whispers.

You’re about to protest but he startles you by placing a cold finger to your lips, effectively shutting you up.

“I won’t tell you,” he says again, staring into your eyes, “Because you’re a smart girl.”

Grinding your teeth, you force yourself not to pay any attention to the feeling in your lower stomach.

“Aren’t you, Apple?” He asks innocently, the look in his eyes showing the true delight he feels making you twitch, “Tell me that you’re a smart girl.”

One of your brows raises and you purse your lips.

He’s really pushing it, and he knows that.

“I also have dignity,” you whisper back.

If anything his smirk grows.He finds it amusing when you snap back at him.

“You didn’t say Hell because you wanted to be sure I’d follow you,” you keep eye contact with him, “Make it sound less than it is until it’s too late, right? Underworld sounds far less intimidating, less of a chance for the turning back of a potential soul for you to steal.”

“I don’t steal anything,” he hisses, “I told you that.”

The staredown lasts another ten seconds before he speaks again, voice a bit strained from trying to reign in his irritation at your accusation.

“See? I knew you were smarter than you let on. Why bother asking all these silly little questions if you already know the answer to them?”

“I wanted you to confirm it.”

“And?” He seems to have gathered himself again, “Has it been confirmed enough for you?”

One of his black brows raises as he clenches his jaw.

“Yes.”

“Good. Now, can we move on, or would you like to stand here and spew more nonsense?”

You shake your head, eyes drifting back over to the gnarled mountain.

“We can go.”

“Splendid.”

The demon turns on his heel and all but marches angrily towards your next destination.

You sigh, then do your best to pick up your pace in order to keep up with him.

“Does it annoy you that I talk a lot and ask questions that seem useless to you, or does it annoy you that I know more than those you typically deal with?”

“Both, little mortal,” he snaps, “Fucking both.”

You stumble to a stop and wince when he halts suddenly, looking up at the looming form of nature in front of you.

A pit forms in your tummy when you see the vines ever so slightly writhe under your careful observation.

Great. More snakes.

A shaky sigh leaves your mouth, “Is this the ninth circle?”

“No.”

“Oh…what is it?”

“It doesn’t matter,” JK mumbles, then turns to walk away, “We need to go around it, not through it.”

“Wait!” You call out before he can get too far, relieved when he stops. He says nothing though, just stands there.

“I-” You clear your throat, “I think we should go in.”

“Why?” He scoffs, turning to look at you with an irritated glare.

“I don’t know,” your voice breaks, betraying you, “I’m…curious?”

“You’re curious?”

You nod.

He stares at you in disbelief.

“Are you fucking serious?”

When you don’t say anything, he turns the rest of his body, hip tilted and arms crossing over his chest, biceps bulging slightly at the action.

“You’re telling me that you want to waste more time by looking inside of a useless fucking mountain?” His glare narrows even more, “We’re almost to the ninth circle. It isn’t far from there that your stupid Flame is waiting. Why do you suddenly have time to tour every fucking corner of Hell?”

You glance back at the mountain helplessly; you have to get in there. It might be exactly what you need.

“Aren’t we just wasting more time standing here arguing?” You ask breathlessly, anxiety clear in your shaking voice, “Just- show me what’s inside and we can keep going-”

“Fine,” he growls, stomping over and grabbing one of the vines.

You audibly gasp as he grips it harshly, ignoring the loud hissing before he tears it from the handle of a wooden door. The demon tosses it carelessly to the ground, where it slowly slithers away. You hadn’t even seen the door there, you’re absolutely sure it was only rock just moments before.

The hissing grows louder and you step back, watching in disgust as the vines wriggle and slither off of the door that becomes ever more visible the more they flee. Soon enough, the ancient mahogany door is clear of the snake vines. JK grabs the handle and yanks it open. Dust falls from around the doorway.

You stare wordlessly into the dark tunnel it uncovered, a lump forming in your throat.

“Why-” you gulp, “I-...H-has no one come in here for a while?”

The demon scoffs quietly in annoyance.

“There are other entrances. I guess no one’s bothered to use this one for a couple hundred years.”

“Couple hundred years?” You echo quietly, staring into the void.

“Well,” he sighs and leans against the doorframe made of stone, “Ladies first.”

You glance at him to see a stupidly handsome smirk on his face.

He’s far too aware of the fact that you don’t even break a small smile at his words, all you do is blink a few times before looking into the dark mountainside.

Then you walk inside and are soon engulfed in blackness.

__________________________________________

“Because mankind is lost,” she whispered lowly, “And has very much forgotten how to listen.”

A few tears fell down your cheeks and you brushed them away with the tips of your fingers.

“Is there nothing to be done for them?”

“There is much.”

She smiled as she stood straight again and looked down at you tenderly.

“What?” You whispered brokenly, “What can you angels do against such wickedness?”

“We are stronger than any darkness, child. But we cannot force humans to choose, they have free will to do as they wish. So we can listen when they are broken, and we can bring them hope. There is a war going on, one that most mortals cannot see. Humans are much more important than they know, for they are constantly being fought over.”

You stared at her with wide shiny eyes.

“We will continue to fight for them, despite their blindness to our existence. Above all else, ____, hope is the most powerful weapon against evil. No human is born wicked, wickedness is made. As angels, dear child, we will fight for Him and his creations until the end. With the Father leading our armies, we will always be faithful, and we will always be strong.”

“And what about me?” You wiped your damp cheeks again, “Earlier, you asked if I would like to be an angel. Could I bring that to humans? Could I help them?”

One of those proud smiles grew on her face.

“Yes.”

“...how did I live a life worthy of that choice?”

“Would you like to see?”

After a moment, you nodded slowly.

Once again, there was a bright light around you, closing in until you could see nothing else.

Then you were in a small room. You immediately recognized it as your childhood house. You were in the room where your mother prepared meals.

It was as if you were a fly on the wall, watching the scene from your past unfold in front of you.

Mother was there.

A lump formed in your throat at the sight of her. She was saying something to six-year-old you, who was sitting on an old rickety stool close to the ground and peeling something carefully.

You couldn’t see what it was, but you were unable to move from your spot in the corner to try and look.

“Mother.”

The tiny voice came from the child you. “What is it now, ____?”

Mother sounded irritated. You furrowed your brows as you watched.

Why was she so upset?

Tiny you smiled to yourself as you continued to peel what was in your hands, “There was a boy today that I saw.”

“Who? Jungkook?”

You giggled, “No. He was smaller than Jungkook…but he said he was nine!”

You got no reply.

“Mother, he said he was eight, but how could he be so very small? How?”

“____,” she snapped, “I’m busy, can’t you hold it in until Yoongi comes? Talk his ear off instead of mine.”

You didn’t seem hurt by the comment, only nodded, “Ok.” Then you went back to your peeling.

Mother sighed loudly, “He was probably one of the kids from the village over. They always come crawling in here and start begging for scraps.”

“Scraps?”

“What? You think you’re hungry, child?” She sneered, “There are others out there hungrier than you. Be grateful for what you have, you hear me? That kid is probably so hungry he hasn’t grown. Probably isn’t much use at home.”

Standing in the corner, your eyes widened in shock as you placed a hand on your heart.

How could she say something so horrible?

Little you immediately burst into tears, startling you.

“Quiet down, ____! Why must you cry so much?”

“Oh Mo-mother!” You sniffled, “Can’t we share some of our food with him, please?”

“Absolutely not!” She hollered, “Why should we pay for his family’s incompetence??”

“But I don’t mind sharing,” you whispered tearfully, bottom lip protruding.

“Any food going into that boy’s mouth from this house is off your plate,” she snarled, then told you to hush up as she finished her sewing.

Everything faded away, then you were in a field. The small one behind the Kim’s barn. That boy was there, as little as you remembered.

A bright smile graced his features as the six year-old you handed him a cloth with food in it.

Even though it was plenty long ago, you remembered it clearly then. It was one of the many meals you had gathered from your plate and snuck to him. You swallowed thickly as you watched the tiny girl smile as the boy ate every last bit of food. You knew behind that smile, her tummy was growling awfully.

Before you could fully process it, there were suddenly images flashing in front of you, much like when you were watching your guardian angel during your lifetime.

Images of you running through the forest and singing with the birds…ever so slightly moving your position so that the sun went into your eyes instead of your best friend’s…slipping another piece of bread from your plate and onto Mother’s when she wasn’t paying attention.

She was talking about how hungry she was that day…

Rescuing bugs and lying on the floor of that sick boy’s room for hours and hours.

Everything was going by too quickly. It felt like your entire life was playing in front of you, time passing slowly yet quickly at the same time.

All you could see were flashes of a girl hugging trees and speaking to her beloved clouds…offering to sit on a spot on the log after seeing it looked more rough than the other side before Jungkook could notice…struggling to hold the filled pail but saying nothing so that Yoongi wouldn’t need to carry it for you…quickly pulling weeds so your best friend wouldn’t have to do as many…

Such little acts, usually for Jungkook.

He didn’t notice all those small things and you always made sure to be subtle so it would stay that way. You did it because you loved him, not because you wanted anything in return.

The last thing you saw was you lying on the ground by the apple tree, looking at the sky through the leaves.

That was your seventeenth birthday, the one Jungkook missed.

It was also the day you had forgiven your mother.

The tear sliding down your cheek as you smiled at the white clouds shone brightly before the rest of the image lit up and disappeared.

You gasped in a breath, unaware of the tears falling down your cheeks as your gaze focused back on the angel in front of you.

“You know that you were not perfect,” she said gently, “But now you see the difference you made for others without knowing it. The love you always had for every single one of His creations.”

You wiped your eyes.

“That kind of love for nature and humanity is rare to come by.”

“But-...”

You couldn’t help but drop your head into your hands and weep. You didn’t even know why you were crying, you were just feeling everything so intensely.

“I know it must seem like a lot.”

The guardian angel’s voice was gentle and full of sympathy.

“The decision is not meant to burden you. You need not say yes. You will be joyful no matter the choice.”

“I want to,” you sniffled, wiping your messy nose with the back of your hand, “If there’s anything I can do for those still on Earth, I want to. I want to help.”

The look in her eyes when you brought your gaze back to hers, was so full of love and something that you had never seen before. It was almost like…the look of a mother who was proud of you beyond words.

That must be what it feels like.

“Can I help him?” Fresh tears pooled in your eyes, “H-how long has it been since I passed? I don’t even know if he knows. Can I help him in any way? Please? Oh, please let me help him.”

The smile slowly slipped off the angel’s face.

“What?” You caught your breath, “What’s happened?”

“It…It has been three days since you died, ____.”

“Three days?” You breathed in disbelief.

“Yes.”

“And…Jungkook,” you choke out, “Where is he? Does he know? Is he alright? He must b-”

The look on her face made your stomach drop. You gulped, trying your best to have the courage to ask.

“Guardian angel…what’s happened?”

______________________________________________

You keep your hands out in front of you as you walk along the hall inside the mountain.

It doesn’t seem as though light has ever existed walking through here. It feels almost thick with the blackness, like you’re moving through syrup. You know he’s behind you, even though he hasn’t said a single word. His presence is unmistakable. It used to bring a wave of warm comfort over you, back when you were both young. Now, there’s a slight energy in the air when he’s around. The energy itself does not bring you comfort, but knowing he’s not far from you does. Just having him close is more than you’ve been able to have for so long.

Finally, you see a tiny light in the distance. It looks like a ball of fire, way down at the end of the hall. The closer you get to it, the less it looks like a floating orb and more like a doorway.

“Wait.”

You freeze at the sound of his whispered warning, so soft you almost didn’t hear it. Not moving a single muscle, you wait with bated breath. It almost makes you jump out of your skin when you feel a cold hand on your waist, the chill seeping into your thin clothes and making you shiver.

It doesn’t take much prompting for him to move you to the side gently, just enough so that he can squeeze past. A choked breath is stuck in your throat as you feel his body drag against yours.

Then his touch is gone.

You can see his silhouette in front of you, framed by the flaming orange doorway that’s only about fifty yards away. Your heart almost stops the next second when you see a few dark figures past the doorless arched entryway into whatever cavern is in the mountain, walking idly by as their voices carry down the hall.

“The Jia girl?” A high pitched snarling voice asks shortly.

“Yes.”

That voice was deeper, you don’t recognize either of them though, never heard them before.

“She relented quickly,” The higher voice cackled, “Didn’t take much.”

“If you’d gotten me sooner it would’ve taken even less.”

The third voice that cuts in sends a chill down your spine. You know that one, but you only heard it once. The way he tenses next to you confirms it.

What was his name…San? Sal?

Something with an S…

Sav.

That was it, that was the name of the demon that you saw talking to JK. What is he doing here?

“Who cares if it’s already been done?” The first voice sneers, clearly irked.

It sounds like Sav and the whiny voiced demon are about to start arguing when the deep voice cuts in again.

“Enough!” It growls loudly,, “Sav, have you found him? I thought I told you to figure it out.”

Silence follows, then Sav clears his throat. “The last I saw of him he was in the sixth circle.”

Him? Sixth- sixth circle?

A gasp gets stuck in your throat when it dawns on you.

“Doing what?”

The menacing sound of the deep voice makes goosebumps go down your arms and legs.

“How should I know? Probably just fucking around as he usually does.”

A low chuckle floats down the hall. It’s so low you can feel it in your bones. You have a feeling it wasn’t a good idea for Sav to talk back like that.

“Tell me Sav, if he’s always so busy fucking around, how does he manage to get almost three times as many souls as you each term?”

Your stomach twists violently. If you don’t get away you’re going to be extremely sick all over the floor.

A freezing cold hand presses to your mouth as you get pushed into the wall gently, not to restrain you in any way, but to keep you from view. You hadn’t realized the whimper that left your lips after hearing the demon’s words.

It’s silent outside the hall. It feels like an eternity passes before the low-pitched voice of the demon that seems to be higher in rank growls again, “You asked to be the one to deal punishment. If I don’t see it done by the beginning of next quarter, you will be strapped right next to him.”

The sound of heavy footfalls echoes around, then the loud slam of a door, which makes you jolt in his hold. More silence stretches on.

Have the others left?

You glance up at JK, a question in your eyes. You can see the tense expression on his face as he stares towards the doorway, a hand still pressed to your mouth. He looks down at you, then slowly shakes his head. There’s just barely enough reddish light to see the way his jaw clenches and eyes squint in thought.

“I told you not to act so high and fuckin mighty- ah!”

A high-pitched yelp cuts off the whiny demon’s comment.

“If you know what’s good for you, shut the fuck up,” Sav hisses, poison dripping from his tongue.

Another chorus of footsteps bounces off the walls before the sound of two doors slamming echoes into the hall.

You watch him close his eyes slowly before he swallows and pulls the hand from your mouth. Tears form as much as you try to fight them.

What were they saying? Why would he be in trouble? They said it themselves, he gets more souls than most of them.

That reminder makes a wave of nausea wash over you and you put one of your own hands over your mouth to keep from being sick.

He doesn’t say anything, just starts walking towards the glowing doorway, boots making a loud thunk with each step. It doesn’t seem like he’s worried. The way he walks emits an air of confidence.

Maybe you shouldn’t have come in here…No. No no no.

You need to see if this is what you’ve been thinking of, hoping for.

No sound comes from your bare feet as you hurry down the hall after him, as quiet as a church mouse.

When you step through the doorway, a small gasp slips from you despite your attempts to keep it in.

It’s a large circular room.

The distance from the wall in front of you is almost the length of a tennis court. You saw a few of those on Earth not long before coming here. The entire room looks to be the size of at least two of them but in a rounded form.

The ceiling is so high you can’t see the top. The sheer vastness of the room is not what made you gasp though. It was the walls covered in glass windows; spanning the entirety of each wall. The windows do not lead to the outside, there is a blood red wall behind each of them.

Inside, trapped between the wall and the glass, are thousands of darkened souls.

You know if they were not here, they would be shining with a light that could not be extinguished.

They would look like stars, only the size of your palm.

These souls do not look like stars; they are black and shriveled as they hover in their designated place.

Your shaking hands move over your mouth to keep in the horrified scream that wants so badly to come crawling out. The sound of your knees cracking on the cold marble floor echoes around the huge previously silent room.

JK turns from looking over the ones nearest to him to see you on the floor, torn hands shaking as they stay clamped over your mouth. Tears are streaming down your face as you look around the ever growing collection of tainted humanity.

“Is this place…?” You finally whisper shakily, horror-struck.

“The Chamber of Souls,” JK responds quietly. Despite that, his voice echoes, feeling like it’s everywhere and closing in on you.

The walls feel like they're moving inwards, hellbent on squishing you until you can’t breathe.

Your head feels like it’s spinning as you close your eyes and pray fervently in your mind.

It’s horrible, so horrible. It’s so sickening to look at.

Your body is already weakening faster than you have time for. Angels were never meant to be in Hell. Seeing something like this, despite it being what you came for, is beyond what you thought you could handle. As an angel, it’s so much worse.

To see the result of despair and anger and wickedness right in front of you…It is physically painful to be in the vicinity of these souls.

JK walks over to you slowly, watching you closely as you shake on your knees, eyes diverted to the ground.

“Why are you so upset?” He whispers coldly, eyes trained on your face when you look up at him.

“I-...”

You drop your gaze back to the marble floor, “I wasn’t expecting it.”

He says nothing, and when you look up at him again, his eyes are slightly narrowed as he looks at you. You clear your throat and wipe at your eyes harshly.

Pull it together, ____.

Come on now, don’t blow it.

Not when it’s so close.

“Sorry,” you let out a choked laugh, “I- think I’m just overwhelmed with everything right now.”

All I need to do is find his.

I am so so close.

“Are you ready to leave?” He asks, face not showing much emotion.

“What? No!”

His brows furrow as you scramble to your feet and wipe at your eyes again.

“Why? The ninth circle is-”

“I wanted to look around in here,” you manage to get out, then turn to walk away from him, ignoring his lingering stare. He’s way too silent for your comfort as you look at the souls grotesquely on display.

How are you meant to know which one is his? Your mind is spinning in circles as you force yourself not to look at him.

He hasn’t moved from where he was standing, but you can feel his stare on your back as you walk around the perimeter of the room.

“What’s in here?” You ask when you get to a spot where there is no glass on the wall, but a black wooden door with a rusted gold handle.

“Exit.” He says bluntly.

“Oh.”

You make your feet keep walking until you reach another door that looks the same but with a dirtied silver handle. You look at him with a question in your eyes.

“Exit.”

“Ah,” you can feel your hands beginning to sweat as you scan the wall of souls over and over again, looking for any indication that one is different from another.

You end up passing him and the hall that you came from as you go for another loop.

Only this time, there’s a small alcove that you hadn’t noticed before that catches your eye.

You stop and look into it. In the shadows is another black door that looks a bit more battered than the others. The handle is a deep crimson color.

A pit settles in your stomach when you realize the scratches on the side of the door look like the result of long nails. As if someone was desperately clawing at the door in an attempt not to let it close. An icy phantom draft sends shivers down your back the longer you stare at the door.

“Step away from there.”

You jump at the sound of his voice, but scurry away from it anyway.

“Why? What’s in there?” You ask breathlessly, fear making you shake as you stand close to his side. You want to forget the realization you had moments before he said that.

The realization that the handle was not red, but bronze. That the bronze handle was covered in dark blood.

“It doesn’t matter. We’re leaving,” he says sharply, grabbing your arm and pulling you towards the hall that you came from.

“Wait!” You cry desperately, eyes frantically scanning the walls again, “Wait, I can’t leave yet!!”

“Stop it!!” You scream, fighting him as he drags you down the pitch black hall, never letting up until you’re outside in the blood light of Hell once again.

“What the fuck is your problem?!” He lets go of you unexpectedly, which makes you trip and fall to your hands and knees before scrambling back up and lunging for the entrance again.

But the demon grabs you before you can go back in.

“Let me go! Let!! Go!!” You screech as you try to fight him off, kicking and hitting as hard as you can.

But you don’t stand a chance as he yanks you away and pushes you just hard enough so that you stumble and need to catch your balance. When you turn back he’s standing between you and the doorway.

“Stop it!” He roars before you get the chance to dodge around him.

You freeze for a moment, then fall to your bottom on the muddy ground in front of him, sobs ripping from your throat, tears leaving wide streaks on your dirty cheeks.

You can’t stop crying, it just keeps coming; salty droplets pouring down your face as your body shakes with heavy gut-wrenching sobs. He watches you grab at your tangled hair and scream.

Everything is ruined, you don’t know what to do anymore.

That was your one chance and you blew it. This whole thing was your only chance…and you blew it.

“I’m so sorry,” you can barely get the words out as you cry helplessly, nose running even as you try to wipe it, only succeeding in smearing more dirt around on your face, “I’m so sorry!!”

“Why are you sorry?” He snaps, not having a single clue as to what the hell is happening to you right now.

“I failed,” you whimper tearfully as more tears spill out, “I wasn’t strong enough, or smart enough.”

____.

____, do not give up.

Please, listen to me-

“It’s too late!” You scream as you slap the ground before bursting into another round of uncontrollable sobbing, “Don’t you get it?! I lost! I failed!”

You only begin to settle when you see that he’s come closer and is looking down at you without anger, without anything but confusion on his pretty face.

“Hey.” He calls to get your attention, sending the most painful pang into your heart as you look up at him, bottom lip trembling.

Not even on your deathbed did you look such a mess.

“You can finish this,” he says, ��The ninth circle is right there. You can make it to the Flame.”

A few straggling tears fall down your cheeks.

“I never wanted the Flame,” you hear yourself saying miserably.

His head cocks to the side as his brows furrow.

“What do you mean you never wanted the Flame? The Flame is why you came here, it’s why you’ve suffered through each and every-”

“It’s not.”

The pure confusion on his face makes a thought pop into your head.

Confusion is the first step…

You hadn’t wanted to do it yet, it wouldn’t have worked before. Maybe it isn’t too late. Maybe if you do it now…it might work.

____, listen to me.

You struggle to your feet, wide eyes looking into his.

His dark eyes flicker around your messy face stained with tears, the shining glimmer of hope in yours a huge contrast from the sobbing you had been doing only moments before.

Then you’re stepping closer and he isn’t stepping away.

He doesn’t even flinch when you take his face in your hands and raise yourself up on your tiptoes.

He doesn’t protest, he doesn’t fight you at all when you pull him into a kiss.

The second your lips touch, it’s like that last band snaps inside him and he can’t stop.

He doesn’t want to stop.

A sigh leaves your mouth when you pull away. Only a second later, he pulls you back in, connecting your mouths again in a desperate kiss, his cold hands holding the nape of your neck.

He tilts his head to the side to deepen the kiss and you gasp when you feel something wet prodding at the seam of your lips. The moment your mouth opens in that gasp, his tongue meets yours in a heated tangle.

Your wet lips slide against his as a groan slips from him.

“Fuck,” he moans icily into your mouth.

You can feel his hands running down your sides with frenzied desire.

Focus, I need to focus.

Your eyes scrunch shut as you try to keep yourself in check.

JK’s brows furrow as his mind begins to blur, a strange heat building up inside of him as he continues to kiss you.

Green leaves and a bright sun flash in his mind, startling him enough to pull away.

“Don’t stop,” you gasp, pulling him into you again.

He shakes off the strange images and dives right back into your lips, an insatiable hunger burning in his lower stomach as his hands travel to your waist and grasp it roughly.

Only moments later, he sees a roaring river and hears the sound of laughter.

You feel him pull away again.

“Just focus, it’s okay,” you whisper, hands cupping his cheeks as you press another kiss to his lips, “Just close your eyes and breathe.”

He wants to stop and ask you what’s going on, but he doesn’t waste a second before pressing his lips back to yours. One of your smaller hands cups his cheek, then you start running the tips of your fingers down his neck and shoulder before holding onto his bicep where that horrible tattoo lies. He feels you grip the sleeve of his shirt harshly, as if you’re dying to just tear it to shreds.

A vase of dead roses flickers into his blurry mind, then the image of someone lying on a bed, hair splayed out around her.

His brows furrow more, but he doesn’t stop kissing you as the pictures he can’t make sense of fade away. He doesn’t stop his hands from sliding behind your waist and traveling up your back slowly.

Trees crowd in all around his vision.

There’s someone running in front of him.

A small girl.

She turns around briefly, a huge smile lighting up her face as she laughs.

“You’re cheating!”

She only laughs louder and continues to run until she’s disappeared into the bushes ahead.

“Apple!”

The demon’s eyes fly open and he pulls away.

You gulp in a breath as you look up at him.

Then your heart freezes in your chest when you realize what’s happened; the look on his face as he takes a step back from you turns your stomach to rot.

“Wait,” your voice is weak as you reach a hand out to him.

You can’t see anything but bewildered anger in his eyes. You were so focused you hadn’t known that he was touching your back. That he-

“I-”

“Shut up.”

You snap your mouth shut.

“Turn around,” he breathes, just barely keeping it contained.

“I can expl-” “I said turn the fuck around!!”

You flinch but make no move to do as he says.

You can see the last bit of patience snap in his eyes as he grabs your arm and yanks you to him so that he can rip the cardigan off of you. It tears easily, falling to the ground as you put a shaking hand over your mouth and shrink away from him.

The white wings on your back droop in defeat, the tips just barely brushing against the ground.

“You-”

The furious hatred on his face is clear.

You’ve never seen him like this, not ever.

“You’re a fucking angel?” His voice trembles with rage.

“JK…”

He steps closer, making you flinch again, “Say that name again and I’ll rip your fucking head off.”

You gulp but don’t say a word.

“So this was your little game the whole time, huh?” He hisses, stepping closer, “See if the precious angel could defeat a demon in Hell..and here I thought you were smart.”

“That wasn’t it,” you mumble, a few tears sliding down your cheeks.

“What the hell were you thinking, little angel?” He glares at you in disgust, “That I would fall for you? Love you?” A sadistic chuckle leaves his lips as you close your eyes.

You jump without opening your eyes when a harsh grip snags your upper arm and he pulls you to him.

“You really thought I could care about you.” He muses with a dark chuckle, “You, a disgusting pathetic little puppet. I knew there was something off about you this whole time. Did He not give you enough love up there? Had to come to Hell to beg for it?”

You refuse to look at him, you just stand there, trembling and keeping your eyes screwed shut.

“Open your eyes and look at me.”

Reluctantly, you do as he says. His dark ones are full of so much rage and hatred it makes you sick as he searches your watery gaze.

Then you feel a cold hand close around your throat.

“I would kill you right now,” he whispers in your ear coldly. You close your eyes when you feel him start to squeeze harder and harder until you can’t breathe, “If I thought you were worth any more of my time.”

A pained gasp escapes you when he shoves you to the ground.

You hit the dirt harshly, arms buckling as they try to catch you, wings muddied and sore. Your watery eyes raise to him again, desperate and terrified.

“Please don’t leave me,” you whisper helplessly, voice hoarse from his actions. You know what would come of an angel lost in this place.

He knows it too.

The demon looks down at you, the lowest angel in existence, with a loathing unmatched before spitting venomously, “Find your own way out of Hell.”

Your vision blurs with tears as he turns and walks off without a single hesitation, his tall dark figure getting smaller and smaller until you are completely and utterly alone.

_________________

You sit there in stunned silence for a few minutes, just staring at the spot on the ground where he once stood. There is nothing in your mind, yet there is everything all at once. Everything is spinning wildly, nothing making sense.

Then finally, a sliver of a cohesive thought passes through and you stumble to your feet, tripping over yourself in your haste to get back to the door.

The snake vines have begun to return, attempting to hide it once more.

You smack and tear at them viciously, tears pouring down your cheeks silently as you uncover the handle and yank open the door.

The sound of your bare feet hitting the rocky ground softly as you run echoes off the walls in the darkness. Before long, you can see the archway ahead.

Despite the pain and fear filling you, you push yourself harder until you’re stumbling into the Chamber of Souls and falling to the marble floor.

You stagger to your feet and hurry to the wall nearest you, eyes scanning the souls frantically as you limp quickly around the perimeter.

They all look the same.

They all look the exact same.

You start to hyperventilate as you go, dirty fingers running along the glass and leaving smudges behind.

Come on, Apple.

You can do this.

You gulp and force your exhausted legs to keep moving.

He would not give up on you, no matter what.

Suck it up and keep moving.

Your eyes dart this way and that, mind screaming in a horrible panic when you realize you have no idea what to do. Then a thought occurs to you.

Maybe you won’t be able to tell the difference by looking at them. But maybe you can in a different way.

Your feet take off running back down the hall where you came from, until you are outside once again and looking for the first heavy thing you see.

There’s a decent sized stone not far from the door. You grab it and run back inside, lungs burning as you don’t let yourself stop to take a breath.

You can do this, Apple, you can do this.

By the time you make it back into the room, you can barely breathe as you lug the rock over to a section of the glass. Closing your eyes, you mutter a quick prayer before opening them again and hurling the stone right at the fragile substance and watching it shatter.

You put your arms over your face in an attempt to protect it from the worst of the flying pieces of sharp debris. Only your face, chest, and arms were cut by the shards, but not too badly.

Your chest rises and falls in heavy breaths as you stare at the gaping hole in the windows in front of you, the blackened souls floating there, undisturbed.

Just as you’re reaching a tentative hand in to grab one, to hold it and see if you can know who it once belonged to, there is a clapping sound from behind you.

You whirl around to see a demon there, leaning against the archway you came into.

His skin is pale, eyes dark blue and shaggy hair a dirty blonde that goes to the top of his prominent cheekbones.

The demon wears a fitting black shirt that’s tucked into the waist of his skinny black jeans.

There’s a smug smile on his unsettlingly handsome face as he claps his hands slowly, again, and again, and again.

You say nothing, eyes drawn to the tattoo on his bicep; the dead monarch butterfly being strangled by a serpent.

Sav.

“Well, if it isn’t the little stowaway angel herself.”

You continue to stay mute, watching cautiously as he pushes himself off the rocky wall and starts to slowly walk to you from across the room.

“I thought angels were supposed to be…I don’t know, pretty? Perfect little princesses of Heaven?” A dark chuckle leaves his throat at your silence.

Sav stops ten feet away from you.

“You’re not any of those things, are you?”

When he takes another step towards you, you finally move, inching backwards along the edge of the room with each step he takes. The smirk on his face only grows as he observes your messy hair, bruised skin and dirty wings that droop behind you, currently at rest.

“This is what JK risked everything for? Seriously?”

“How did you know I was here?” You ask sharply, eyes narrowing, “How did you know what I was and he didn’t?”

Sav scoffs.

“Because he’s a fool-”

“Really? And why did it take you so long to find me then, if you’re so smart?”

His blue eyes narrow as he continues his slow but steady advance.

“I wasn’t looking for you, little angel. I was looking for him.”

“That makes you look even stupider.”

You see his jaw clench.

“I was busy,” he says, strangely calm, “I knew he was up to something, but honestly? I didn’t think even he would be so brainless as to lead an angel through Hell.”

“How did you know?”

“I didn’t. Not until now, at least,” he chuckles, “Your wings kind of tipped it off a bit, I suppose.”

You gulp, trying to figure out which way is your best bet on getting out.

“Don’t even think about trying to escape, it’ll just be a tire for us both.”

You say nothing.

“Where is he, anyway?” Sav’s creepy smile returns, “Your little demon lover.��

When you don’t say a word, he throws his head back and cackles.

“He left you.”

Your hands are sweating as you clench them into fists, your eyes darting around to see which door you can get to quickest. It looks like the one with the silver handle might be your best choice. Sav is standing over by the bronze door in the alcove, the gold handled door is between you. The archway is straight across the room and you know where that leads, but he would catch you before you could make it out.

Silver it is.

“You do know what happens to naughty angels when they get caught in Hell, don’t you?”

All you do is stare at him, mentally timing yourself on when to run.

“JK knew…and yet he left you.”

Your heart feels like it’s been impaled by a hundred swords.

“It’s almost like he wants you to suffer.”

You continue to slowly inch your way around the perimeter as he keeps walking closer.

You can make it to that door.

“I wish he were here,” Sav pouts, “I’d pay to see the look on his face when I torture his little angel until she’s begging for me to have mercy. Telling me she will do anything to make it stop..”

You gulp, forcing yourself not to look at the door you are about to make a run through.

It’s only a few feet away now.

Sav is just about to make another snide comment about your appearance when you turn and bolt for the black wooden door with the silver handle. You can hear him screaming something angrily, but you don’t stop to find out what it is. You’re out the door faster than lightning and running at full speed down the pitch black hall.

It’s unclear whether he’s followed you in with the sound of your panicked breathing echoing in your ears. Your body is so exhausted it feels like it’s going to collapse. You can’t let it.

…

You almost made it out.

The exit was only a few feet in front of you, when an arm riddled with muscles wrapped around your waist and pulled you back.

The bloodcurdling scream that left you could’ve been heard miles away.

It was a scream only those that knew the horrors that awaited them would understand.

It wasn’t Sav that grabbed you, it was a demon much larger than he. A demon that cackled maniacally as he dragged you back through the tunnel and into the Chamber of Souls, where Sav was waiting, a delighted smirk on his face as he stood there and watched you cry and fight as hard as you could, fear clear in your eyes.

He knew.

He knew you would never have made it out, no matter which door you chose.

The demon holding you tightly against it- so hard it pinches your wings painfully- has red scales and a horrible long snout full of sharp teeth. It has bony ribs, but muscled arms and thighs as it stands on two mangled legs.

You grit your teeth, gathering yourself. Then you bite the demon’s slimy arm covered in scales, drawing a pained howl from him as he drops you to the floor, knocking the air out of your lungs.

After a second, you scramble to your feet, blood dripping from your mouth. You aren’t sure if the blood is your own or the demon’s as it hisses curses at you. Sav just watches you closely as you heave in several breaths.

“You could defeat us right now,” he says casually, “If He allows it. All you would need to do, little angel, is ask Him. Ask Him or one of His little minions to assist you. Call to His strongest minion of all, go ahead.”

You gulp and wipe at the bloody streaks on your chin, glaring at him.

He’s right, you could get out of this.

You can make them suffer.

“If ever you need me, little one, just say my name and I will come.”

“If you hurt us even a little bit though,” Sav looks at his nails, inspecting them as he sighs, “We will torture him greater than even the dealt punishment for not delivering enough souls to Hell.”

You close your eyes.

There was never even an inkling of a plan to leave Jungkook here, even after he left you. All you needed was to get out of this predicament.

But you will not risk him enduring more agony because of you.

Sav tuts when you lower your head, staring at the floor.

“Why so eager to help him when he couldn’t care less about you?”

You don’t say anything.

Even as the demon that grabbed you in the hall harshly digs his clawed fingers into your arm, breaking the flesh and drawing blood, your arms wrest behind you, you still say nothing.

“Thank you little angel,” a devilish smirk spreads on Sav’s pink lips, “For finally giving me something to hold over JK’s pretentious little head. You, I must say, are the most satisfying weakness of his that I could have ever hoped for.”

“I’m not his weakness,” you mumble, knees beginning to shake as the grip on your arms tightens, “You said it yourself, he left me.”

Sav scrutinizes you for a second longer, then he turns on his heel, the demon holding you following behind him as he heads for the alcove.

Out of nowhere, another demon emerges as you walk. It’s a tall thin man with too big eyes and a smile that stretches across half his face. You swallow thickly when he grabs your left arm so that you’re being dragged between them, feet barely touching the ground.

When you see Sav opening the door in the alcove, the one JK told you to stay away from, a terror you’ve never experienced takes root.

Sav smiles sadistically at you.

“You made a deal with a devil, darling. Now, you’re going to pay the price.”

Every fiber of your being is telling you to scream, to scream and scream and scream. To beg for someone to come save you.

Your body shakes uncontrollably as you’re dragged closer and closer to the door leading into stairs that fall into blackness. Tortured screams echo from below as you stare at the scratch marks on the door.

If you weren’t restrained, you’re sure your own nails would be digging into that same wood. An act so desperate it would tear that wood to splinters in an attempt not to let the door close.

Any mortal would have blacked out from pure gut-wrenching fear at the knowledge of what awaited them down those steps.

You are too horrifyingly aware as you continue to tremble violently, arms sore as the demons clutch you tightly, pulling you closer and closer to the staircase.

You are too terrified to scream.

The demon standing in front of you raises a brow and tilts his head at your silence, "You really are loyal, aren't you? Well, pretty thing-"

Sav leans in, mockery dripping from his tongue as he whispers, "Semper fidelis, semper fortis, little angel." He tilts his head back and laughs, then he walks into the door first, the demons holding you following closely behind.

“Don’t bother begging for mercy, doll,” he calls over his shoulder, “It doesn’t exist here.”

The last thing you see is Sav walking down the steps before the sound of the door behind you slamming shut reaches your ears.

Then there’s nothing but darkness.

___________________________________________

a/n: tysm for reading, thoughts are always welcome, ily <3

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justanamesstuff · 5 months

Text

Chapter 1

Seasons

Matty Healy x f!reader

A/N: Hiii guys, I'm so nervous for this BUT very excited too!! I hope you like it <3

Warnings: swearing a bit?, typos maybe.

Word count: 3 K

MASTERLIST TAGLIST

Every season has its colours, has its smells, has its traditions. Like every season, this love has its particularities…

Around November of 2020, England

“Matty- Oh my god!!“

The constant banging on her wall and the high-pitched moaning at the other side woke Y/n up. Quickly, she took her pillow and placed it on top of her face, trying to muffle the horrible sounds reaching her ears. ‘God, is she having a good time? Or he’s killing her?’, the thought crossed the girl's mind.

Most of the time they weren’t that loud, but during that morning they just seemed to not care.

It was useless, the sounds were getting louder and louder. Y/n couldn’t bear with it any more and knowing that even if they –luckily– stopped she wouldn’t come back to sleep. So, Y/n decided to go downstairs. Maybe one of the guys was making breakfast, which would help with the awful start of her day.

Her prayers weren’t heard. The kitchen was empty and no breakfast was made. She tried to cheer up a little, because Y/n needed to survive the day. To be honest, every day and morning it was getting harder and harder.

After a quiet but long sigh, Y/n started cooking for everyone. Nothing unusual since she tried to do it most of the mornings in exchange for their generosity letting her stay at the boys' studio –which was half Matty’s house as well. Spending the quarantine rent-free with them, listening how they recorded the new album and messing around was a true blessing if she tried to focus on the bright side of everything.

Well, they kind of forced her because they were very against Y/n spending those months alone in her flat. The boys cared about the girl as a best friend and as a sister too. They were a bunch of drama queens most of the time, but deep down Y/n was enormously grateful with/for them.

Thinking about the first months, Y/n couldn’t deny those were amazing. The entire group spent a lot of quality time, doing the stupidest challenges, doing Instagram lives for the fans, watching a lot of movies, etc. Although everything took a turn when another person joined the party. When Nadia arrived.

It wasn’t like Y/n hated her, in fact, it was the opposite which created a big dilemma for her. Matty’s girlfriend was nice and the idea of having another girl was actually comforting during the tough times. But Y/n wasn’t so fond of the situation for other reasons.

For a period –a very long one– if you asked her, she endured with it and put on her best –fake– happy face. Y/n’s acting talents were very handy at times. Although, her true feelings were still there, underneath the surface, where no one can notice them. Specially Matty.

Time went by and the whole thing was making her more anxious, and although the idea of leaving crippled into her mind at every minute, she couldn’t really decide. Y/n didn’t want to leave but watching Matty 24/7 attached to the other girl’s side was taking the best of her mental health.

Y/n’s mind was running fast with thoughts while she cooked, which made her subconsciously ignore the tall man coming down after he heard movement downstairs. George watched his friend move around, knowing more than anyone in the house about her sorrows. George was probably the closest to her out of the four guys. He was the only one who knew all of her secrets and kept it secured as if it was his own.

The drummer stared at her, expecting for Y/n to notice him, but he acknowledged that the girl was in another dimension. She used to do that more than she liked to admit. George could bet ‘the morning moaning festival’ taking place half an hour prior was the main reason.

Y/n finished cooking a big amount of scrambled eggs and turned searching for a plate when she saw George standing in the partially lighted corridor. “Fuck G! You scared the shit out of me!” she exclaimed while resting a hand on her chest.

“Sorry!” the big man shrugged his shoulders. “Didn’t mean to scare you, love.” he apologized, approaching his best friend. “Good morning.” he greeted her properly, and she huffed.

“Good morning to you.” Y/n answered sarcastically after G placed a kiss on top of her head.

“So, you heard, huh?”

“I can’t stand it any more, G.” she let him know. “It’s just a lot.” she continued, lowering her voice scared another of the boys could hear her.

“I know, love.” the drummer said with an apologetic expression. “But the lockdown is nearly over, and y’know none of us would like you to go.” G said as he searched for mugs.

“Why not? It’s my life, my freedom!” Y/n protested, starting to get annoyed. “It’s getting worse every day…” Y/n desperately moved her hands in the air trying to prove her point.

“Believe me… I know!” George searched for her eyes, keeping eye contact when Y/n looked back at him, waiting for his next words. “I’m not in your…situation, but I’m getting a little annoyed too.” G agreed with her.

“Yes, but it’s his house. He can do whatever he wants…”

“I half agree.” G nodded. “This might be his house, but it’s the place we choose as a studio, so for the time being its our place too…yours too!” George continued rambling, filling the mugs with hot water. “So, they need to stop with the noises.”

A comfortable silence fell between them until Y/n broke it again thinking out loud.

“What the hell can I do?”

“About what?” A third voice came from the hallway. Matty made his entrance wearing a tired expression matching his gray sweatpants and plain shirt. He approached Y/n, leaving her a kiss on her right cheek. “What can you do about what, love?” he rephrased his question.

“I- It’s nothing — Morning” she said without looking at him, instead walking towards the table bringing a mug with her.

“There must be something. You sounded worried.” Matty insisted.

“It’s something between Y/n and I, mate.” George said in a joking way, trying to distract him. “Something between best pals, you wouldn’t understand it.” he stated, rounding Y/n with his left arm meanwhile he winked at Matty taking a sip of his morning tea.

“Fuck off!” Matty protested. They usually have a competition about the title which Y/n find equally lame and cute. She easily felt the tension leaving her shoulders, relaxing thanks to their stupid discussion, knowing that for now Matty dropped his interrogation.

“Tell him, darling!” G urged her.

“It’s too early for this fight. Shut up and sit. I’ll bring the cutlery.” Y/n said, detaching herself from George.

“Y/n is just too nice to tell ya, mate. She loves me more.” the singer continued joking, obviously unaware of the real implication of his words.

“Whatever helps you sleep at night, Matty.” George answered, sitting at his usual spot at the table.

“Who was the beautiful soul that made breakfast?” Ross entered the kitchen and stopped in his tracks, closing his eyes and inhaling dramatically.

“You know the answer.” John teased as he appeared from behind Ross. “You know you don’t have to, Y/n.” the musician approached her and helped with the forks and knives.

“Yes, for the hundred times…I know, John.” she looked at him. “But we all know that I would feel guilty since you all never let me pay for anything.”

“Because you don’t have to pay us, love.” Matty said from his place at the table with his sight fixed on his phone. He and the damn nicknames.

“But- “

“No but’s, Y/n. We’re happy to have you here!” Ross said as they all sat around the table.

They were serving breakfast when the conversation took another direction -something about the coronavirus and all of that. At the same time, the last resident of the house made her entrance.

Y/n sometimes envied her. Matty’s girlfriend always looked immaculate to a point that you could never think she just woke up. Y/n knew comparisons were wrong, but it was hard to avoid them. The girl felt awful: her hair was all tangled in a messy bun on the top of her head; only wearing an old t-shirt -from a not so famous band--and a pair of pyjamas short; and she was not wearing any makeup meanwhile she stuffed her breakfast on her face.

Nadia was all classy and perfect, the opposite of Y/n. Maybe that’s why he chose her and not his best friend. Y/n knew thinking like that was also wrong, yet again she couldn’t help it.

Y/n witnessed how Nadia greeted everyone and sat beside Matty, flashing him a cute smile he returned. They were in love, and it was obvious to everyone. Y/n was so happy for her best friend to find someone who loved him, although for many years she hoped that person would be her. For years, Y/n hoped Matty noticed her more than a mate.

When they first met, Y/n thought she felt a connection different from with anyone else in her life, although that changed quickly. Matty proved to her time and time again he didn’t want a relationship with her or nothing similar no matter how flirty he was during that first night. And Y/n forced herself her mind and heart to believe it.

Y/n was very unaware that, at the time she met the boys, Matty felt the same way she felt, but the old Matty didn’t want to lose the new friend he encountered. As another way to self sabotage himself, the young Matty did almost the impossible to show Y/n they were friends and just friends. A decision he took while being drunk became a life rule.

Since that moment, since that night, their relationship was kind of determinate. They were friends, the best friends. Not that night, but after a while, Y/n became part of the family and even Matty’s family –both sides– loved her as another member of their family. Y/n felt safe and loved, something she cherished so much since she hadn’t had that kind of love back home. Her family wasn’t like them, the opposite in fact.

For the longest time, Y/n tried to ditch her feeling for Matty. Every time a new girl showed up, tugged under his arm, Y/n decided it was the time to stop getting hurt and move on. Even though, her heart couldn’t do it. It hurt her. And with Nadia was the hardest since all of them could notice it was different, more mature…more serious. Nadia was more than a random girl for Matty and everyone was sure of that.

“Penny for your thoughts.” Matty interrupted Y/n’s inner monologue, staring at her, while his right arm was around Nadia.

“What?” Y/n answered, coming down to earth, with a question.

“You were gone.” everyone was strangely in silence while they looked at each other.

“I was just thinking about the government lifting the restrictions. Meaning, now I can go home.” she half lied, while messing with the leftovers of her breakfast. Y/n did chat about it with G that morning anyway, and it was a reality Y/n needed to get away from the lovers for a time.

“I told her, none of us want that.” George interrupted their conversation.

“Of course not.” Jaime, who joined the breakfast table, said to her.

“I know, guys. But it’s been almost four months and I- This is not my- “

“Don’t finish that sentence.” Matty warned her, and she looked him directly in the eyes.

“It’s the truth, Matty.” she said, dropping her fork on the plate.

“It’s not, this is your house too, Y/n/n.” Ross, sweet Ross, reminded her. “At the same time, if you want to go back to your flat, I understand. We’ll miss your meals.” his comment made everyone chucked, except Matty who was studying every one of her movements.

A weak smile was plastered on her face while she stared down towards her plate unable to make eye contact with Matty. “Don’t get me wrong. I love being here with you guys, but I need my space.”

“If this is about some couple…” Jaime looked at Matty and Nadia “Waking up the whole house.” he finished the sentenced winking like a cartoon.

“For fuck's sake.” Matty swore under his breath. “Is it about that?” he looked at Y/n.

“‘Course not!” she looked at him trying her hardest to hide her feelings.

“I wouldn’t blame you if that’s the reason. I’m sleeping on the other side of the house and I can listen to them. You’re right beside Matty’s room!” John emphatically said.

Before Matty could say a word, Y/n exclaimed, “It’s not about that, okay?” she simply lied.

Y/n could sense George staring at her. “It’s what I said, I need my space, and it’s not like I’m going to disappear.” another white lie. Y/n was planning to do exactly that for a while until her wounds healed again. “You’ll still have to bear with me.” she finished her little speech.

“We can simply send the couple to your flat, and you can stay here in peace” Ross joked this time. All of them except for Matty laughed again.

“Stop with that, he will get angry.” Y/n defended Matty.

“I know it’s not my house either,” Nadia started saying. “If I can say something, I would like you to stay, Y/n.” she continued rather shyly. “It’s nice to have a girl around.” Of course, she was so nice. “I promised we’ll keep it down.” she looked quickly at Matty for reassurance and then again at her.

“Yeah, I know. I’m sorry you’ll have to survive with these boys, but I really need to go.” Y/n explained. “Another reason is the fact that I have to prepare to get back to work soon.”

“So, when did you start thinking about leaving? Since you apparently have a lot of reasons to leave.” Matty said with a strange expression on his face.

“Matty-”

“Are you that eager to leave?” ‘He was pissed?’, Y/n thought.

“Matty- “she protested, not knowing what else to say.

“No, it’s okay. I get it! You want to leave, it’s okay.” he stood up from his seat gathering the plates to wash them.

“Matty!” Y/n said again.

“It’s fine, Y/n!” he said more sternly, obviously not fine with the situation.

The rest of the group –included Nadia–, took that as a cue to leave the friends so they could talk. They made stupid excuses, leaving Matty and Y/n alone in the kitchen.

Matty went to the sink, beginning to wash the dishes. After letting a big breath out, Y/n stood up approaching where he was standing.

“Why are you so angry?” she asked him, folding her arms, standing beside Matty looking at his profile. Matty was stroking the plates with more force than needed for the task in hand.

“I’m not. I said that I got it, and it’s fine.” he answered.

“You’re obviously not fine, Matthew.”

“Do you want to know how am I? Perfect.” he stated, turning the water off and drying his hand with a cloth while he turned to look at her. “I really don’t get it why you want to leave so suddenly.”

“It’s not that I want to- “another big lie. She wanted to, she needed to.

“Bullshit!”

Y/n tried to defend herself, “I’m not going to disappear…”

“Bullshit!”

“Can you stop that?” Y/n stood directly in front of Matty.

“I know you’re going to disappear. I know you. We’re best friends and something is bothering you, I can tell. It hurts that you’re not telling me anything and I fucking bet you told George already.” She couldn’t tell him the truth.

“Is this more about that competition?” Y/n tried to distract him.

“Yes- No- Of course, not- This is about you and me.” Matty said, melting her heart a little. He was obviously troubled with the idea of Y/n leaving.

“Matty, there is nothing…mayor going on. Trust me. I need silence. You said it, you know me. I crave my space…alone.” she told him sweeter this time.

“Yes, I know. But you can find somewhere here-“

“You know that’s a lie.” ‘What a hypocrite I am’, Y/n thought.

“I know.”

“You aren’t gonna miss me. You have the boy and Nadia- “she moved uncomfortably in her place.

“It’s not the same, you’re my best friend. I’ll miss you, darling.” Matty looked at her with his best doggy eyes.

“Don’t!” Y/n pointed a finger at him.

“What?” he played dumb.

“Don’t give me puppy eyes, it won’t work.” she smiled this time.

“Shit, are you so certain about it?” he looked down, defeated.

“Yes.” Y/n simply said.

“Okay, I understand. You can go.”

“Thanks for your permission that I didn’t ask for.” Y/n tried to joke.

“But- “ he ignored her.

“But?”

“But promise me that you are not going to disappear for too long.” he said, staring directly into her eyes.

“I promise.” Y/n said way too quickly. After a couple of seconds, she had to look elsewhere.

“Can we hug?” he said very slowly.

Y/n chuckled, placing her arms around his shoulders, at the same time Matty placed his on her waist.

“I love you.” Matty mumbled on her left shoulder.

“I love you too, Matty.” Y/n said, feeling it from the deepest of her heart. There lied the difference.

Maybe, she couldn’t love anyone like she loved Matty, even though she had to try for the good of their relationship.

-------------------------------------------------

Taglist: @hollybrislen

#matty healy fic #matty healy x reader #matty healy x y/n #matty the 1975 #matty x you #matty x y/n #matty fanfic #friends to lovers #matty healy #the 1975 #Seasons #matty healy fanfiction #the 1975 fanfiction

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am-i-the-asshole-official · 2 months

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AITA for repeatedly losing my temper at my kinda-friend? I (17F) have anger issues and I'm working on mitigating it, however, losing my temper always involves yelling and insulting people. Usually I think this is bad and apologize profusely when I lose control.

However, this kinda-friend (16F) who I'll call E, has absolutely no respect for other people's personal belongings, space, or time. She always grabs and plays with my things during class, or our mutual friend's items (16F), and as all three of us are artists, we carry around pretty expensive equipment. (Think Micron ink pens, Winsor & Newton paint, Derwent pencils, etc., just as reference. Thankfully no Copics lmao.)

The mutual friend will be referred to as J.

So, E has been told by both of us to stop taking our art supplies and playing with it, to the point where I'll yell sometimes, and she absolutely refuses to listen to us. She'll claim that she's forgotten what we've told her and put down the item just for her to pick it up again five seconds later. The problem is that she sometimes breaks these items or injures us - she'll play with my x-acto blade and cut me, or break J's graphite pencils, or push my watercolor palette off the desk. I've really tried to be patient about it, but it's proving to be difficult.

J is quite soft spoken, so I end up doing most of the reprimanding. E also brings up inappropriate topics that make J and I uncomfortable, as well as disturbing us when we're busy and then sulking when she doesn't get our immediate attention - once I told her three times to let me do my classwork before snapping, and E cried. She never does anything in school and hates all of our teachers, so she's pretty rude to them. All my work gets copied by her. She really annoys me, but I do feel terrible that I seem to lose control so often around E, since no one deserves to be yelled at.

However, this all came to a peak today when R (16M) and I won prizes for winning a mini-game and asking an interesting question during a seminar at school respectively; the gift was a black notebook that I didn't even like, which is an important tidbit to keep in mind. R left his gift still wrapped in his bag when he left the classroom for break time, so it was just J, E, and myself in there. Upon seeing what I had unwrapped, E went to R's bag and opened it - since all four of us are friends, we thought E was just being "jokingly" invasive as usual and were on alert, but didn't stop her.

J asked what she was doing and E said she was grabbing the gift out of R's bag. This caught my attention, so I asked why she was doing that. E told us that she wanted the book, and when J reminded her that the gift was, in fact, not hers, E said (and I wish I was kidding because this is replaying in my head in 4K HD right now like oh my god pls) "I know. It should be mine." Had she asked for my notebook, I would've given it up happily. I've got too many empty sketchbooks and notebooks at home.

I immediately stood up, but allowed J to handle the situation because I didn't trust myself not to react violently. J eventually lost her temper too and that's when I jumped in and started my yelling routine. I always feel bad whenever I do this, because it's not something I enjoy, but in this particular situation I just can't muster up the guilt? E is extremely irritating, but she tells us she has a horrible home life, so I try to be understanding. Except this was just completely intolerable. R even said that he'd predicted this would happen and to just give her the damn notebook - I vetoed that so we wouldn't enable E.

I really don't know if my reaction was overblown because I shouted a lot and said things like "you were given a brain - use it" and "you're a terrible person with no morals". It's ridiculous to say all that because it's (at the end of the day) high school drama, but I really can't understand why she acted that way. I don't know if I'm in the wrong in this situation. I wish she would listen when we tell her nicely not to do something, but even when I was blowing up at her, she was just smiling as if it was a joke. Should I apologize? I've apologized before when I lost my temper, but I have completely lost all will to be civil with her after this. The teachers are tired too - when she disappears from class or talks back, they just let her be. We can't really go to them because she'll feel betrayed and then get mad at us, which is a whole ordeal, because she's known to destroy and sabotage other people's items because of a grudge.

This is really lengthy. I apologize. I just feel terrible about the situation because I don't feel any guilt for my anger like I probably should. So, AITA?

What are these acronyms?

#aita #am i the asshole

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waynewifey · 9 months

Text

aftermath — b.w

part one - ‘dear mr. wayne’

part two - ‘aftermath’

part three. - ‘aporia’

summary: you escaped that warehouse, but part of you died in there. now, your husband helps you grief your own loss while trying to not murder your relationship.

pairing: bruce wayne/battinson x reader

genre: drama & angst romance

warnings: mentions of sex and alcohol; mentions of ptsd, anxiety and it’s symptoms; hospital setting; dubious science; dubious law enforcement

word count: 2.9k

A/N: thank you for all the positive feedback on part 1! there will be a part three because this post would get too long, so let me know if you’ll like to be tagged in that. my biggest challenge writing this was trying to give bruce the start of a redemption arc, please tell me if you think it worked. comments and constructive criticism is appreciated!

gotham, USA.

the continuous beeping sound wakes you up.

your eyes are still closed, blocking the intense light over your head. your senses are taken by the familiar scent: sandalwood, cinnamon and lemongrass soap. it almost feels like you're home.

but your feet are senseless from the cold and the bedsheets faintly smell like chlorine. there's a pinching ache in your arm and the scenario is complete. oh how you hate hospitals.

"how are you feeling?" back at home, bruce had learned the difference in your breathing as you woke up, which made pretending to sleep hard enough for you to give up. you open your eyes, finding yourself in a luxurious room. if it wasn't for the IV on your left side, it could easily be mistaken for a five star hotel.

bruce sat at a large light green armchair, about four feet from your left hand. you couldn't tell by his voice, but he looked exhausted. for once, he's wearing sweatpants. the puffy face and swollen eyes show he hasn't had much sleep. you, on the other hand, feel like you've slept for a thousand years.

"i have no idea. what's up with me?" his sigh has your heart racing and the fear of being a liability falls over you. a comforting hand lays on yours, his warms fingers grounding you to remember the last time you were awake. it felt like a nightmare and you desperately hoped it was. instead, the pain comes in flashes, the image of your husband being shot and the feeling of hitting ice cold water do too. it's all just so horrible you wish it wasn't real.

"they told me you were going to be fine, but i don't know." bruce feels as if a burden has come off his chest finally seeing you move. the last couple of days have been a torture of expectation and blame for him. "the doctor had you in an induced coma. you had a concussion on the river. your stomach was stitched up. he said..." he stops for a moment, this is obviously way too hard for him to go through again. bruce hasn't left the room ever since he was discharged. everyday, for two weeks, he kept overthinking the night before and the day during. if he had stayed up and talked about your relationship, you wouldn't be in that bed. if he looked for you in the morning, if he noticed your absence at work, if he hadn't put his phone on silent mode... there were a million of things that he could've done different so the most important person in his world wouldn't have gone through all of that. "he said the ptsd would worsen your recovery. this morning the nurses told me you were better, so i have to believe them. that's my only hope."

you need a moment to take in the words, finally deciding that you didn't want to discuss your health. there were way better people to pay attention to that in the building and it would only make you anxious. you can't help but stare at his eyes, your mind bringing up the image of your husband choking the man that kept you hostage.

"you almost killed him." the tone is of disapproval, bruce couldn't be any more confused. he frowns. bile arises from his stomach leaving a acid taste to his mouth.

"i would've, of course i would. y/n, you had no idea what i would do for you. i would fight the devil himself if it meant keeping you safe. that's why i do what i do. the batman, the politics, it's all for you. if i can make this world 1% better for you, for our children, to live on, it's worth it." his gulp is loud, adam's apple going up and down, showing how dry his throat was. the following words have his voice shaking, almost disappearing. "but fate keeps telling me that i'm not enough. no matter what i do, you keep getting hurt and i just-" bruce stares the floor. that's something he always did when saying harsh things, avoiding eye contact and not letting tears slip away. however, this time it doesn't work at all. he can hear his heart tearing up with every syllable, the physical pain striking his chest. he wants to beg you to forgive him, but there is a noble thing to do. his words are cut off by the creaking of the door and the doctor's footsteps. he's smiling, like this isn't hell. bruce shrinks into the couch, making himself ignorable.

"so... i have good news!" the blonde says, clipboard in hand. "we need to run some other tests and an x-ray, but you seem to be healing pretty well. we'll hold you in for a couple of days just to make sure there aren't any complications with your body and then you can go home. how are you feeling so far?"

you're surprised by the sudden change in the conversation and your brain needs a moment to think about something helpful. you do a body scan trying to identify any pain, but overall you feel good.

"hungry. like, starving." the doctor smiles, saying he'll get you a meal as soon as possible. he warns you that you may not be able to eat much just yet, something about your stomach shrinking. you nod, already feeling irritated by the recovery process. then he leaves and there's a loud silence until you get back on the previous topic.

"you just what?" you expect bruce to sit correctly again, but he doesn't. he looks so small in the shadows, so comfortable. you really don't want to talk about that anymore, but curiosity takes over. he doesn't respond immediately, so your heart pounds over the anxiety of hearing bad news. suddenly you feel so tired, you want him to take over all the decisions like he usually does. today, though, he seems open to suggestions, like his own ideas weren't suitable. how could you know someone so well but still have no idea what's on his mind?

"i think maybe you shouldn't be associated with me. any part of me." the world stops with your breathing. bruce wishes he could take it back. going over this conversation in his head made it seem easier to say out loud. you've been married for three years. you knew his ambitions for even longer. you chose this life and he has no right to take that from you. still, the ring on your finger weighs you down.

— DENIAL

you've learned to appreciate the winter winds. at the top of the wayne tower there were barely any, but tonight they caress your face with the gift of numbness. breathing in is both refreshing and painful. the scratched teacup warms your fingers, a small memoir from your childhood home, from times that won't ever come back. you used to be down there, frightened by dark alleys and gunshots. now you're on top of the world and nothing, not even that psychopath, can take that from you. you did relearn discomfort. ache. cold. it all made you appreciate life even more. in fact, the month that followed your hospital discharge was pure bliss. something about renewal, about rebirth.

bruce watched you from the living room, the wrinkled glass distorting your silhouette in the balcony. that was a good representation of how he currently saw you, slightly blurred and shaken. his cup would usually hold whiskey, neat, but it holds coffee instead. you keep saying you're fine and waking up screaming in the middle of the night. then he would hold you and you would be actually fine. so now he's staying awake through the night, sleeping three or four hours during the day while alfred takes care of you. of course they don't let you know, because you've denied every explicit help. as you get ready to sleep, bruce gets ready to stay in bed through the night, alone with his thoughts. part of him was scared to sleep. he was sleeping when you were taken, there's no way he would let that happen again.

it has been almost a year since he stopped patrolling the city. the news cover murders and robberies every day. alfred makes sure to come up with something for both bruce and you to do at those hours. he's taken a pause in promoting his candidacy, he couldn't handle the public eye for now. still, the marketing team insists that your kidnapping was good media, even though he never officially spoke on it. they publish notes about being away, about taking care of family. he can't see how that could be good in any way.

you open the glass doors, flashing your husband a sweet smile. you're in a red silk robe and your hair is still perfectly done. perfectionism was one of the side effects, as one may call it, of the trauma. you visited a psychiatrist about a month ago, since bruce insisted on it, and he marked all of the habits that made you happy as unhealthy. you never told bruce what was said in that appointment in hopes that he'll get over it. him treating you like a porcelain doll made you nauseous.

"ready for bed?" you ask, standing behind the couch and hugging his shoulders. you breathe in his scent, remembering the day you met. you were an executive in an overseas wayne enterprises headquarters that had just gotten transferred to gotham. they offered you six figures to take the second in command position, so you obviously got to know the first in command. in the beginning, you honestly thought he was an entitled brat that didn't work at all. overtime, you realised how much he cared about the company and how much he was pining over you. you gave him an opening and he asked you out. six months into the relationship, he told you about batman. he knew, somehow, that you would be forever.

he sets in bed while you're touching up in the bathroom. the night had to be perfect. you've hadn't made love ever since the fight and ovulation week had gotten you a little crazy. you check yourself in the mirror, thanking the hormones making you sexy. you crawl into his side, slower than needed, hair falling over the shoulder. "hi" you whisper, sitting diagonally from him and cuddling a bit. he says hi back, with a chuckle. you give him a little peck, which is all you've been doing for all of this time. he stays still, not pulling back but also not doing anything either. you try to take it as a good sign. your lips then reach his jawline and neck, leaving wet kisses all over his skin. your hands touch his shirt and go underneath it, tracing your fingers along his defined abdomen. a hand holds your arm, pushing you away. your smile fades and you frown your face to him.

"touch me, bruce" you not so much ask, it's more like a plead. he sighs, channelling all his will to stick with his decision. he puts a string of your hair behind your ear and you think he's going to properly kiss you.

"i don't think we should do this. you're not well enough yet." he doesn't sound so certain, but it hits you like a hard brick wall. this is harder for him than he lets it show, he's a man after all. even so, he can't see you like that for the moment. he sees you scattered and feels like it's his responsibility to assemble you again.

"i'm perfectly fine." you state like a grumpy proud child who's just lost a soccer tournament. he sees right through it.

"you're not, you're in denial." that simple word makes your mood swing: denial. it's the same thing the stupid psychiatrist told you. you can even hear his smoker's voice echoing in the office. it isn't true. you got over it, that's all. maybe some people take more time to do so, but you did just like that. you had a life to get back to.

you get off the bed and pull your robe tight again. "i'm sleeping in the guest room. good night." he doesn't follow and lets you be. in all honesty, he didn't know if he would have the strength to turn you down a second time.

bruce tries to fight the tiredness. even with caffeine running high in his blood system, he falls asleep for a while. the guest room is far enough that he doesn't hear the muffled sobbing. he wakes up not so long after with screaming. his heart races as he runs down the stairs, following the sound of your voice. his mind starts thinking the worst, but he finds you only having nightmares. he crawls in bed with you, without being kicked off. he lets you lay on his chest, one arm over your shoulder. his body warms yours up and you finally stop spasming. it doesn't take too long for both to fall asleep.

— ANGER

the penthouse is quiet. the winter is almost at it's end, so the pre-spring rays lighten the living room bringing warmness to your solitude. you sit uncomfortably, unknown to this feeling of absence. you don't feel him in the tower.

bruce said there was a non deniable meeting with his press team, because eventually he would have to go back to promoting his election, which would take place in the fall. you acted unbothered. yet, he's barely been gone for an hour and you can already feel the anxiety crippling. you only left the apartment for doctors appointment, still too scared to walk on the streets. and he was always there, too, holding your hand. so this is different.

alfred is downstairs upgrading the batman suit with a new technology he created. he invited you, but the darkness of the cave was definitely unrequited. that's how you end up lounging, in silence, staring at window. finally, you decide to try to watch something. you shouldn't really do that, because something could trigger a panic attack. but you're fine, you really are. enough with this nonsense.

shuffling through the channels, nothing gets your attention until there's a juridical show on. the judge is talking to the prosecutor, apparently, announcing the next witness to testify. the camera angle changes to the courtroom and expectant eyes turn to the wooden door. it opens slowly to reveal a knight in dark armour. you hold your breath. the jury buzzes and the room gets loud. heavy steps make his cape swing behind him, as he makes his way to the stand.

bruce had to make a tough decision. while you and him had been cleared from the trial, you with the psychiatrist report on PTSD and him with the marriage, the lawyers mentioned that the batman's testimony could be decisive for the accused to be found guilty by the jury. the public respected him. either they loved or feared him. so, even though he's never made such a public appearance, less even speaking, he had to go to that trial. he owed it to you. but you could never know. he didn't want to spark your interest in the case, you shouldn't have to go through it again. he lays his hand on the constitution and swears on it.

it doesn't feel real until you hear the judge.

"members of the jury, i present to you the batman."

it feels like a dagger has gone through your chest. there's a mix of feelings that have you almost throwing up. you feel like screaming and crying and blowing the fucking world up. how could he do that to you? that was your case, your life. you stand up only to find your legs trembling. you want to run there and testify. you want to tell the world the horrors you've been through and show them, including your husband, that you had overcome it. he was calling you weak right in you face and you couldn't bear the feeling of being chained up again. you're stuck in this hell of a tower like some futile damsel.

you stomp your way to the elevator, your mind set on leaving the building. but your heart stops you in your tracks pounding and almost vomiting itself out; you feel your toes numb and your legs can't stop shaking. the baritone voice still sounds in the apartment. you run to it and scream at the TV. you throw a pillow on it. that doesn't cool you down. your body is in motion while all you can see is red. you knock the coffee table down, shattering the glass and scattering like ashes the books that were on it on the floor. the noise still doesn't muffle his voice and you can't find the fucking remote control. you stumble across the room, throwing lamps and vases around. everything is falling down, in every sense. you grab a candle and let out a scream when you hit the TV with it, the screen going black and the noise finally ceasing.

alfred finds the room trashed, with you kneeling on the broken glass. there's blood on the floor. your body trembles with every sob. he cautiously steps towards you. you feel out of breath, tears burning your eyes. he holds you like a mother does.

"i'm sorry- i'm so sorry," he shakes his head, saying it doesn't matter. you wanna say it does, but there's simply nothing leaving your mouth apart from "i'm so sorry"

part three - aporia

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neymarsangel · 1 year

Text

Ballgowns and Galas - Neymar Jr x reader

Neymar Jr x female!reader

Requested? Yes/No: i would absolutely love a ney imagine where he and the reader (perhaps an actress or a singer) used to date during his early fame. they truly loved each other, but broke up eventually due to certain issues. as the years go by, they both date other people to get over the horrible breakup (all attempts ended up failing, they're still pining over each other 💀) so flash forward after a few years, ney and reader happen to meet at a gala / party bcs they were both invited. imagine the TENSION between them.. like "oh okay you're there and i'm here and this is all really happening"- that ended up really long </3 ILY AUTHOR your works truly have mesmerized ♡

Warnings: Fluff, some angst, implied smut

Word Count: 4.4K

AN: Sorry I’ve been gone for so long my loves, I’m back with all the fics you could ever want to request <3

—

Neymar was the ex-boyfriend you knew would never leave your mind. The two of you had dated when he quickly rose to fame but things, unfortunately, fell apart. Your career started to take off, you’d been contacted by major film directors and before you knew it you were in a different country every week with a camera in your face. No matter how much either of you tried to move on from one another it was always unsuccessful. Being an actress you were always swarmed by dating rumours, whether it was a co-star or just your assistant and Neymar kept track of every single one of them.

Since the two of you split you two hadn’t spoken to one another and you hadn’t gone to any of his games. You used to turn up every week, whether he was playing for his country or his club but now the seat you once sat on was cold and it had been for many years. Although that wasn’t to say you didn’t care about him. You would still keep up with his matches, silently cheering for him every single minute. Your heart broke whenever he was injured or when he lost a match that clearly meant the world to him but you hid your feelings, the two of you were on different paths now.

Little did you know Neymar was the same. He let as many girls as he could fling themselves towards him in an attempt to get over you but he was always unsuccessful. Sure he’d had a few relationships which had been very public but they never lasted, his head always drifted off to you no matter how much he tried to forget. Much like you with his football he always made an effort to watch what you were starring in, whether it was a period drama or a heartfelt rom-com. He would always wake up in the early hours of the morning to watch any award show you were featured on and although it killed him to see you smile without him he also knew he’d rather you be happy without him than you be upset whilst you were beside him.

You’ve been in the news a lot recently due to your new project. Top Gun: Maverick was taking the world by storm, especially tiktok so it was no wonder why you and your co-stars were invited to attend. You were staring alongside Miles Teller and not to mention Tom Cruise, both men constantly praising your performance which landed you several calls from big Hollywood directors.

“Excited for tonight?” Your hair stylist, Nat asked as she began her magic on her head. “A few people of interest are going tonight…” She smirked at your reflection in the mirror before her.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” You looked up from your phone, your eyes meeting her curious ones.

“Well, there are some good-looking guys there… Harry Styles… Micheal B Jordan…. maybe if you get with one of them tonight you’ll finally stop crying over your ex.”

“ I don’t cry over Neymar!” You whipped your head around to give her a glare. “We split apart years ago.”

“And yet you too still make the headlines alongside one another.” She turned your head back to the mirror. “Maybe it’s a sign.”

“A sign for what?”

“To get back together.”

“A second ago you were telling me to fuck another man to get over him even though I am over him, it’s been years.” You lied and she knew it. Your heart would always stay with him no matter how many years went by.

She shrugged, the smirk on her lips still planted on her face. “The world works in mysterious ways y/n.” Rolling your eyes at her you went back to your phone, texting your co-stars who were attending the gala with you.

The charity gala always brought in those who always hit the headlines, whether they were from the world of sports, fashion, music or film, or anyone you could think of. The event consisted of celebrities wearing their most expressive clothes whilst they paraded around a red carpet for all the photographers to see. They’d make their way inside and gaze at all the charity items up for auction before sitting down for a meal. After the food the auction would begin before it eventually ended with most celebrities getting drunk and regretting the money, they’d spent.

“You look beautiful…” Your stylist smiled as you smoothed down your y/f/c gown. The dress hugged your body like a glove, showing off every curve you had. Smiling at her compliment you kept your eyes on the outfit.

“You have really outdone yourself with this.” You turned around to face her, your smile beaming brighter. “Thank you…”

“Anything for Hollywood's favourite star.” She mirrored your expression, walking over to you and giving you a few last-minute touch-ups before the car came to take you to the event.

—

The flashing lights of the paparazzi blinded you the second you stepped out of the car and onto the red carpet, your name being called in every direction filled the air as you flashed a smile towards the cameras. Your head darted to the side to catch a glimpse of the other celebrities who were walking off towards the exhibition.

After posing for a few more photos you started to make your way down the carpet when a sudden loud noise grabbed your attention. Loud screams grabbed your attention as all the photographers suddenly turned their attention to the person who was leaving the car. The sudden commotion also caught your attention but unlike everyone else, you weren’t screaming for joy at who had left the car. Within seconds, you were making eye contact with your ex-boyfriend for the first time in years.

Of course, Neymar was here.

Your heart was in your throat at the sight of him.

You hadn’t seen him in person since the day the two of you parted but there he was, standing right before you, his eyes burning into yours. You ripped your attention away from him, knowing that even that small yet longing glance would cause headlines and a surge of attention onto the two of you online. Your eyes searched for an escape and you found one in an interviewer. Her name was Madaline, and she always attended premiers and a few other galas you’d been invited to so a familiar face was all that you needed to put some distance between you both.

“Madaline, hey!” You called to her whilst she checked her phone, the copper-haired girl looked up at you, a smile bright on her face as she caught your gaze.

“Y/n! Oh my God, you look stunning!” The pair of you embraced as if you were old-school friends. “You up for an interview?”

“Of course!” Returning the smile your eyes darted over to Neymar who was now posing for photos before looking back at her as she handed you a microphone.

“Ready?”

“Yes.” You took a deep breath, pushing Neymar to the back of your mind before focusing on the questions at hand.

“Your dress is absolutely stunning, who designed it?”

“Everything was made by the genius that is Vivienne Westwood.” You smiled, looking down at y/f/c dress which sparkled in the light. “Even the jewellery.” You gestured to the diamonds hanging from your neck.

“It’s beautiful. And I see you have a small charm on your bracelet.” She pointed to the band around your wrist which had a small diamond plane hanging from the metal. The charm was a small added touch from Westwood representing one of the biggest films you’d been in this year.

“Oh yes,” You held it up for her to see. “It was another one of Westwoods touches.”

“Does it come with a mini Tom Cruise inside of it?” She asked, a light laugh escaping her lips. You followed her laughter before letting your hand fall to your side.

“If only it did.”

“I do have another question…”

“Ask away.”

“You and a certain co-star were getting rather close in Top gun… Miles Teller I believe it was.”

Rumours had been flying all over the place when the two of you were filming despite the fact that he had a wife, a woman you’d met and grown rather close to during the many months of filming and even though you’d been seen with his wife many times in public and behind closed doors, fans still speculated that the pair of you had a fling going on.

“I can assure you that nothing is happening between the two of us, he has a wife and -”

“Do you have someone?” Her brows arched yet she had a hesitant expression on her face, worrying that you’d snap at her invasive questions.

“No, I do not.”

“But are you looking?” She dared to ask more.

“Love will come to me when it’s ready.” You replied, not wanting to talk too much especially as your ex was closing in on you. “And until then I’ll spend my evenings with a glass of wine and my cat.”

The pair of you shared one last laugh before she bid you goodbye. This time you didn’t dare look back at him, your heart was pounding after those last questions, thankful she never touched on the subject of Neymar. You entered the large dimly light hall which was lined with numerous items which were to be bid off to you and other celebrities who were in attendance.

Taking small elongated steps your eyes scanned every single item that was on display until your eyes fell on a large painting. The frame glistened as it kept the painted horse inside, allowing it to dance before your eyes yet never leave. The horse was rearing and with every blink, you could have sworn the animal grew in beauty.

“It’s beautiful, isn’t it?” A smooth voice you knew all too well floated through the air.

“Ney…” You looked over at him as he stood beside you, his head turning to meet yours.

“How are you y/n?”

“You never come to things like this, your father always hated the idea of you spending tons of money at events like this.” You took in his features, his hair was different, last time the two of you shared a glance with one another he looked as if he was joining a boy band. He’d cut it shorter and he’d grown a slight beard, making him look older, more mature than he was back then. “Did you know I’d be here?”

“As welcoming as always y/n.” He gave you a warm smile.

“Sorry I umm… It’s just been a while.” You looked away, your eyes focusing back on the painting before you.

“Several years.” Neymar raised his hand, guiding your chin back to face him. “Too long y/n…”

Your heart melted at his words, it was no secret that you hung up on him and had been since you split. No man or anyone for that matter would ever be able to numb the pain of the pair of you falling apart. The tension between you both was building by the second, both of you high on the feeling of the two of you being back in the same room.

“How’s Jareth?” He referenced the cat he gave you just before the two of you split. Only the week before the gala you posted a photo of you and the black cat when he was a kitten vs now for his birthday. He was getting old but he was one of the few things you still had to remind you of Neymar. Ney had watched you fall in love with the film Labrythn, especially David Bowie’s character, hence your cat's name. He knew you had to have your own little Jareth in the form of a cat. Since then you got Jareth a few siblings, naming all of them after fictional characters and as much as he didn’t want to admit it, Neymar knew all their names.

“You know I never stopped watching your games.” His eyes softened at your words as you paused. His hands still lingered on your chin. “Do you know how hard it was to watch you get that injury in the world cup? Ney you nearly ended up paralysed-”

He smiled at your worry, the pair of you split just a few weeks before the World Cup, at first he just pushed it to the back of his mind to focus on the football but everything changed when he had his injury. When he was in the hospital all he could think of was how you used to take care of him every time he had the slightest graze or a career-threatening injury. He would often look over to the spare chair next to his bed and imagine your tired face making sure he was okay, much like you had done all those years ago. It was that day he realised how much he really did miss you and what you had wasn’t just some childish relationship.

Neymar let his hand fall as he took a step towards you, his gaze never dropping from yours. “Why did we fall apart y/n?”

You scrunched your brows at him. “You know why, we fell apart, both our careers went in opposite directions and we never came back together, you moved on-”

“So did you.” He jumped in, eyeing you up as he spoke.

“You could say that.” Shrugging you turned back to the portrait of the horse. You and Neymar both knew deep down that the pair of you never got over one another, in fact, the way the two of you were eyeing one another you wouldn’t be surprised if you just ripped off one another's clothes there and then. “But then so did you.”

His eyes followed yours as he became fixated on the painting before you both. “To an extent… I got used to you not being around, I never got used to the rest.”

“Like?”

He smirked as he spoke. He leant down, his lips hovering above your ear. “I never got used to the feeling of another woman around me, I always just wanted you… I never got used to the feeling of another woman's lips on me… you know y/n I got used to your presence not being beside me but I never got used to never feeling you again… do you know how many of your films and shows I’d watch and see you kissing another man and beg God to let me take his place?”

Chills ran down your spine at his words before you replied. “You know you could have just messaged me, you know I’d let you come back into my life… with time.”

“Time?” He whispered, a small laugh escaping his lips as he spoke. “I wasted too much time being away from you.”

“You can’t blame me for that -”

“When did I ever blame you, my love?” Neymar leant down, planting a kiss on your cheek from behind stepped away, his eyes glancing over at the painting you were once eyeing before he turned away and headed towards the hall for the event that was due to take place.

Your heart dropped at the sight of him leaving. His words implied he would come back but with Neymar, you can never really be sure. Your eyes wandered back to the painting you once had your heart set on but not your heart was set back on him. The spark you once thought had died down had been ignited once again. The headlines would be slashing yours and his name as much as they could after your little interaction, but would you really go back to him?

—

“I didn’t know he was here…” Your assistant who happened to be your best friend asked as she sat down beside you at your designated table. Her eyes glanced over to his table a mere few meters from yours before she spoke again. “Did you?”

“Of course not.” You set your glass down. “I wouldn’t have turned up if I knew.”

That was a lie and you knew it.

“Have you spoken to him?” Her gaze remained fixed on you.

“Briefly -”

“And?”

“It was just small talk.” You lied again, this time taking a sip of the drink in front of you. “We haven’t spoken since we split and that was years ago. Just small talk and nothing more.”

She knew not to press on, after years of questioning you about Neymar she always knew deep down that the pair of you clearly had a small flame of love burning for one another but with the break-up being as public as it was she just kept her mouth shut.

You could feel his eyes burning into you, wanting nothing more than to meet his soft gaze you flickered over to see if he was still watching but to your avail a booming voice caught everyone’s attention. “Welcome back everybody!” The host of the event announced. “It’s nice to see some familiar faces and some new ones.” His grey eyes wandered around the room. “Now we have some beautiful things up for auction tonight and I’m not getting any younger so let’s start, shall we?” A round of cheers danced through the room as items started to be dragged out onto the stage for the room to bid on.

The night dragged on, you laughed with your friends as you drank and watched everyone bid on their favourite items. You really had no interest in any of them other than the painting of the black horse from earlier. Before Neymar interrupted you your mind was imagining it proudly standing on the wall by your stairs. You’d been needing a piece to make the house feel more put together and that horse would frame everything perfectly.

Despite the number of glasses before him, Neymar was only getting drunk on the sound of your laughter. He’d give anything to hear you laugh at his jokes one last time. Sure he knew he was pinned up on you when the two of you broke up but he never knew he’d crave you this badly after one short encounter. He wanted to leave, hating the idea of you being so close to him but he simply couldn’t have you, not yet anyway. His eyes shot up to the stage where he saw the large horse painting you were clearly in love with. He sparked up an idea… You’d either hate him for this idea or you’d love him for it but he was willing to take that chance.

“And now… our final item is this beautiful hand-painted portrait of one of the world’s most stunning creatures. The bid will start at one thousand -” Before the man could even finish his sentence Neymar held his auction number in the air, giving a small nod to the man.

“I have one thousand do I hear two thousand?”

Narrowing your eyes at your ex-boyfriend you held your own number up. He turned his head slightly, a smirk on his lips as he met the gaze of the man and held his own number up again.

You knew what game he was playing and you weren’t going to let him win.

The two of you went back and forth with each other, the pair of you never sharing a single thought about the amount of money you were spending on a simple painting but hey it was for charity so that doesn’t matter, right?

“Oh come on y/n, you can’t bid that amount of money, it’s too much for that.” y/b/f complained, huffing in her seat at yours and Neymar’s childish antics.

“He knows what he’s doing, he wants to get one more thing over me before the two of you actually call it quits.”

“So you’re telling me there’s still something there?”

“y/b/f -”

“Sold to the gentleman in black!” The announcer spoke, catching your attention. Whilst you and y/b/f had been arguing you’d forgotten to put your number up one last time meaning Neymar won the painting, it was all his.

“Fucking prick.” You spat under your breath. The sudden lust you’d had now turned into loathing. He knew how much you wanted that painting and yet he still wouldn’t let you win, not even one last time. You finished up your drinks and left, wanting nothing more than to be with your cats, even if Neymar was responsible for buying the first one but unbeknown to you he had a plan, one that meant this wouldn’t be the last time he’d be seeing you.

—

A week had passed and there was no Neymar in sight unless you count the ongoing headlines about you both but that was something you refused to engage in. When you found yourself alone in bed you often wondered to his contact in your phone, debating if you should send him an angry text about him stealing the painting which clearly had your name written all over it but that would only feed into his ego.

Currently, you were laying across your sofa, Jareth slowly falling into sleep on your chest as you read through your new script and let your hand smooth down his black fur. The small echo from the tv was the only noise in your house until the doorbell made poor Jareth jump in his spot. The elder cat let out a cry of a meow at the noise. Setting the script down you scooped the cat up and held him against your chest and crook of your neck, cooing at him as you opened the door.

“It’s alright old man.” You kissed his head. “Probably just Jannet ordering some packages and isn’t in to collect them.” You referred to your neighbour as you met the eyes of a man you knew all too well. Neymar stood outside, a worried expression on his face which he tried to cover up with confidence.

“y/n…”

“What do you want? And how do you know where I live?” Your brows furrowed at the sight of him.

“y/b/f isn’t good at hiding secrets, you really need a better assistant.”

“She does fine thank you.” Your words were filled with venom as you spoke.

“You look, good old man.” He now turned his attention to the cat, a smile on his lips as he watched a familiar sight. “He looks good for his age.”

“Because I take care of him.” Arching your brows at his words you leant against your doorframe. “Why are you here?”

His smile dropped slightly at your words but his confidence attempted to shine through his demeanour. “I wanted to give you something.” He reached to the side and pulled out a large wrapped item from behind your wall. “I’m sorry -”

“For?”

“Everything. I fucked up. The pressure from this stupid sport should have never led me to losing you.”

“And you think a wrapped gift is going to fix all of that?”

“No, but I hope it’s a start. I’ll fix this if you’ll work with me. We both know there’s something still there.” Your eyes met his hopeful ones. He had a point and if the two of you took things slowly and built on what you used to have you knew you could fall back into his arms, probably a lot faster than you wanted to admit.

“Come in.” You held the door open wider for him, allowing him to drag the gift which was bigger than him through into your front room before closing the door. You placed Jareth on the counter before turning to watch Neymar place the gift on the floor, his eyes longing on yours as he rose and made his way over to you.

“Please just open it.”

You gave him a silent reply before shifting your body towards the gift. Neymar took his place where you once stood, next to Jareth whilst you kneeled down and slowly pulled the paper back to reveal the gift. All your anger filtered away when you were met with the eyes of the horse painting you once fell in love with at the gala. You started to connect the dots, he’d won that bid just as a way to see you again and make amends. Looking up your heart melted even further when you saw what he was doing.

When Jareth was a kitten Neymar used to cuddle him like he was a baby and rock him around like he was your child. Jareth used to always snuggle his head into Neymar’s side when he carried him like that and just like old times you watched as Jareth cuddled into Neymars side as he cooed him like a baby.

“Ney…”

“I’m sorry I made you feel like shit at the gala but I had to win it because I needed to see you again.”

“You know you could have just messaged me and asked to see me.” You stepped over the painting and walked towards him.

“Not as romantic though, is it?” He smiled. “I know it’s been years but I want to try again. I never stopped loving you y/n, no matter who I was with I just wanted you. I still do. I know it’ll take time but I’m willing to wait a lifetime if it means I can spend even just a night with you.”

“You always had a way with words Ney.” You leant up and kissed his cheek, your heart swelling at the sight of him and Jareth. “On one condition.”

“Anything.” His eyes were fueled with hope.

“We get another cat.”

“I’ll buy you a whole island full of cats if it means you’ll give what we had a second chance.”

#neymar one shot #neymar fanfic #neymar imagines #neymar x reader #neymar x y/n #neymar x you #neymar fluff #neymar smut #neymar #neymar jr #football imagine #football fanfic #football #football x reader #football x y/n

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i-think-i-did-it-again · 7 months

Text

The Tour XV

Warning: swearing, violence, smut

Your conversation with Rook had you so tense you could barely see straight. You didn’t get a chance to say much to him after his confession, interrupted by everyone else piling onto the bus to head to the next destination. Colson could sense the weirdness between you but he didn’t say anything, almost like he was letting you come to him.

You couldn’t really accept that Rook meant the horrible things he’s said to you about Colson. You tried to not let it bother you but deep down you knew it was something that you worried about, in the back of your mind. You’d spent the last few weeks with him waiting for the other shoe to drop.

You’re not really sure where you two are given your conversation the night before so when the bus quiets down and everyone begins their rituals for bed, you scoot into your usual bunk and try to let sleep overcome you. Rook hadn’t really said much to you but he hadn’t been rude either. When you stopped for dinner, he stood outside the roadhouse bathroom for you for safety. He didn’t say anything and you didn’t ask him to, he just did it anyway. You can tell deep down that the two of you will work through your issues but it still hurts that he said what he did.

The sound of your curtain pulls you from your thoughts and arms wrapping around your waist and yanking you from your warm bed makes you squeal with fear. You try to fight whoever it is, not sure if everyone is pulling some tour bus initiation with you or if someone has broken onto the bus. You flail in the strangers arms until you hear a familiar voice.

“Baby, it’s just me,” Colson whispers in your ear and you instantly relax. Your heartbeat slows and your breathing evens out.

“You scared the shit out of me,” you pout as he sets you down in the aisle. He looks sexy in nothing but workout shorts and no t-shirt and you take a second to drink him in.

“Hey, my eyes are up here,” he teases you, half covering his body with his hands. “Why are you sleeping in the bunk and not in my bed?”

“Oh I…”

You don’t really have a reason. You would be more than happy to sleep in his bed but you weren’t sure if he’d want that given you’ve only done it once on the bus and that was before everyone knew about the two of you.

Will everyone just assume we’re fucking all night?

Sharing a bed to only sleep feels…couple like. You’re trying to push down that desperate need almost every woman has to ‘label it’ but it seems almost unavoidable at this point. You realise by the confused look on Colson’s face that you didn’t actually answer his question so you fumble for reason.

“I was waiting for you to invite me,” you lie quickly, covering your discomfort with a small smile.

“Just take her and fuck her already,” Rook groans from his bunk and your cheeks immediately heat.

“What the fuck is your problem?!” Colson rips his curtain open and glowers at his friend.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” Rook answers calmly but his eyes dart to your face and Colson catches the movement.

“Oh my fucking god Rook,” Colson growls. “Are you in love with her?” he spits the words like they’re venom in his mouth.

The very heated conversation has garnered the attention of everyone on the bus now and Sophie and Sam now stand at the door that separates the bunks from the front of the bus, watching the drama unfold uncomfortably. You want to say something, anything but words don’t seem enough at this point and you’re pretty sure Rook wouldn’t listen to anything you have to say right now anyway.

“Answer the fucking question asshole,” Colson screams in his face.

He practically drags Rook from his bunk and flings him to the floor. Sophie grabs your arm and pulls you away from the commotion as Rook jumps to his feet. You want to stop whatever is about to happen but Sophie won’t let you go.

“Let them work it out,” she whispers in your ear and you can feel the horrified expression on your face at her sense of calm.

“They’ll kill each other!” you screech at Colson takes his first swing at Rook, his fist connecting with Rook’s jaw. Rook recovers quickly and swings back.

“It’s the way they do things,” Sophie shrugs but doesn’t let your arm go.

“YOU HAD YOUR FUCKING CHANCE AND YOU BLEW IT!” Colson screams in Rook’s face as he pins him to the wall.

“THAT DOESN’T MEAN YOU GET HER!”

You almost think they’ve forgotten you’re standing right there and the feminist in you is pissed but you can see Sophie’s logic. Rook’s words earlier weren’t about you, they were about Colson. About his concern for Colson's intentions. He just doesn’t want you getting hurt because he doesn’t want to lose either of his friends. Maybe part of it is still a possessive jealousy he feels that it didn’t work out with the two of you but that was years ago and he’s dated since. It’s not like he hasn’t moved on but the thought of you with Colson brings the feelings rushing back.

Would that have changed my decision after Colson kissed me for the first time?

The guilt that overtakes you at the answer to your internal question is crushing. Nothing could change how you feel about Colson, not even the possibility of hurting your best friend. You wish you could blame it on having been single for so long that you missed the feeling of being wanted but you know that’s not the truth. It’s because it’s Colson that wants you and nothing else. The man you’ve craved since the moment you met him, so much so that even Rook noticed it.

“Because you never looked at me the way you look at him.”

Colson and Rook are bloodied and bruises forming on both their faces. Their fight doesn’t look to be ending but you can’t stand watching them destroy each other for one more second. You pull away from Sophie and push your body between the two of them. Instantly, their fists stop and you can feel their ragged breathing as you press your palms into their chests.

“Stop, please,” you beg them. You feel a drop of blood from Colson’s nose drop onto your arm but you don’t pull away. “I don’t want you to kill each other over me, that’s stupid and pointless. Besides, neither of you are actually mad at the other.”

“Like fucking hell I’m not,” Colson growls, trying to move you out of his way but you stand firm.

“No, you’re not. You’re pissed because you’re worried he’s going to do something to get between us but trust me, that is not what’s happening here and you,” turn to scrutinise Rook’s battered face. “You’re mad at yourself for not speaking up and because I didn’t ask for your input about Colson and me but here’s a fucking newsflash, you will not now nor will you ever have a say in my relationships. We went on one date a lifetime ago and you’ve been with plenty of women since so don’t you dare play the victim with us. This is a good thing that is happening to two of your closest friends, why would you want to stand in the way of that?”

Rook doesn’t answer you. He pushes away and stalks off to the kitchenette, pushing past Sam and Sophie. They each give you both a small smile before following after him. You know you probably should too but you also know you’re the last person Rook wants to see or talk to right now. He hates it when you’re picking a movie or what to have for dinner and he especially hates it right now. You’re always right. He can’t fight logic, he can’t fight rationality and he hates that about you. You’re always logical and rational about even the most minor decisions in life.

“Let’s clean your face up,” you grab Colson’s hand to lead him to the small bathroom.

It’s slightly suffocating with the two of you in there but you don’t mind the feeling of his body pressed against yours. You grab a washcloth from the small pile under the sink and dampen it. You gently brush the blood away from under Colson’s nose, rinse it and repeat. Once the blood is gone, you wipe the cloth on his bloodied lip and the blood staining his chest and stomach. When you’re sure he is sufficiently clean, you turn back to the sink and wring the washcloth out, placing it in the small hamper in the bathroom. You rinse your arm under the water, washing away Colson’s dry blood, and your hands with soap. In the tight space, your ass brushes against Colson’s crotch every time you move. You feel his dick respond so you deliberately push back a little firmer until he growls. Wrapping his hand around your throat, he pulls you against him.

“If you keep doing that, I’m going to have to bend you over and fuck you right here, rough and fast,” he nips at your ear and your panties pool with need.

“Do it,” you encourage him with a grin, staring at him with ‘fuck me’ eyes in the mirror.

Colson wastes no time bending you over the sink and ripping your panties down. He pulls his thick, hard cock from his shorts and rubs himself along your pussy lips a few times. He reaches around and places his hand in front of your mouth.

“Spit,” he instructs and you oblige.

Colson uses his now wet hand to lubricate his length with your saliva, stroking himself while he stares at you. Without warning, he lines himself up and plunges inside of you. You cry out and he immediately puts his hand over your mouth, muffling the curse words spewing from your lips. He spanks each one of your ass cheeks and you squeal with pleasure and pain. You can feel the handprints indenting on your skin but you don’t care.

“Dirty, dirty girl you are for daddy,” he praises you between thrusts and you’re practically a puddle under his sure movements. “I want you to come for me, can you do that for daddy?” you nod and he reaches his other hand around to rub your clit.

You drop your head, pleasure overcoming you, but Colson grabs your hair to pull you back up, burning you with his intense stare. You moan softly and grind back against him, practically fucking yourself against his dick. When he’s had enough of you taking control, Colson puts a hand on your hip and thrusts hard into you, impaling your pussy on his cock. You bite your bottom lip to keep from screaming out and his finger on your clit quickens. Before you can blink, the strongest orgasm you’ve ever had explodes through you. Your legs quiver, your pussy clenches and you’re all but falling to the bathroom floor. The only thing keeping you upright is Colson’s hands on your hips. It’s not long before he’s following your climax, thrusting roughly into you one more time before he fills you with thick ropes of cum.

Colson collapses against your back, his sweat smearing across your skin. He pants trying to drag in as much oxygen to his lungs as possible. You love the feeling of his face on your skin. the roughness of his stumble in contrast to your smooth skin. His lips brush up your spine and you shiver with his dick still inside you, softening. He kisses your shoulder blade, the top of your spine, your neck. You lean up, Colson slowly falling out of you, and you lean against him. You lift your arms over your head to wrap around his neck and you watch him in the mirror. Watch the movement of his lips, feel his hand reach under your shirt to cup your bare breasts. Embarrassment colours your cheeks as you realise he’s leaking out of you, the reminisce of your intimacy coating the bathroom floor.

You pull away from him and grab the used washcloth from the hamper to clean the floor. You pull your sleep shorts back up to hold in anything that still remains inside you. Colson almost looks proud at that detail. He spins you, gripping your face in his hands, and kisses you for the first time since you got in here. You feel the cut on his lip as he moves against your own and he winces slightly when you run your tongue along it but he doesn’t pull back. Almost like he thinks your lips can heal him.

“We should go to bed,” you mumble against his lips. He pulls back and rests his forehead against yours.

“Only if you tell me the truth,” he murmurs and you frown at him.

“About what?” he didn’t ask you a question since he started banging you against the bathroom sink.

“Why were you trying to sleep in your bunk and not with me?” he pulls away to look you in the eye when you answer. You bite your bottom lip, unsure how to word your reasoning without sounding needy or desperate.

“I guess…we never really finished that ground rules discussion and I don’t want to assume things because it’s not like we’re together or anything, not that I care but I just, I’ve never done this before and-” you’re rambling and you know you are but you can’t stop yourself.

Realisation appears in Colson’s eyes and he smiles at you before kissing you again. This time though, it’s passionate, full of fire and hot burning need. It’s sweet and intoxicating and overpowering. You need to pull away but you don’t want to pull away. You can’t bring yourself to end such an emotional kiss but Colson makes the decision for you.

“Y/N, will you be my girlfriend?” Colson asks you, a grin splitting his face knowing it’s the most 7th grade question in the world but you’re still practically melting that he asked it anyway.

“Ok,” you grin back and he seals it with a kiss.

This is pure joy and I’m going to enjoy every fucking minute of it.

Or so you thought.

******

Tag list: @mgklove99xx @anonymousme86

#colson baker #machine gun kelly #mgk #tickets to my downfall #mgk imagine #ttmdf #colson x reader #colson baker imagine #machine gun kelly imagine #mgk x reader #mgk smut #colson baker smut #machine gun kelly smut #machine gun kelly x reader

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strawhbrrries · 10 months

Text

Babys Breath, vi

pairing: bob floyd x seresin!florist!reader

summary: Bob stumbles into the nearest florist to the funeral he’s attending and, unknowingly, charms Jake Seresin’s sweet younger sister with all the anxious charm he possesses.

warnings: everyone calls reader “sunshine”, fluff!!!, protective older brother jake??, horrible descriptions of the navy, warnings will differ depending on chapter, no use of y/n or description of reader, not proofread

word count: 836 words

authors note: ....drama!!! as always, please enjoy! mwah!

tag list: @myownworstenemyyy @kloofspeaks @bcon24 @chaosofmanyfandoms @strangerparks @kmc1989 @angelbabyange @ephemeralninon

find the masterlist here!

read the previous part here!

Your mouth dropped at the sight of Jake leaning against your car, squeezing Bob’s hand like your life depended on it. Jake looked like he was ready to tear the two of you into shreds and Bob looked like he was ready to defend you at all costs.

“You know I came out here to apologize for being an asshole. For not believing you. And here you are, doing exactly what you fucking said you weren’t doing.” Jake laughed, using all the self control he had to not lash out.

“Actually, she only said she wasn’t texting me.” Bob interjected, holding onto your hand just as tight to let you know he was there.

“Oh shut the fuck up, Bob.”

“Don’t speak to me like that, I’ve done nothing in this situation.” Bob stood up for himself, squeezing his free hand into a fist. Seeing firsthand how Jake was speaking to you made him increasingly more mad, the more words that came out of his mouth the more Bob just wanted to resort to violence.

“Jake, let's speak about this at home.” You felt small, he had never been this mad at you before and the last thing you wanted to do was make it worse. Maybe, just maybe, if you removed Bob from the situation you could talk it out and fix it all.

“No, Sunny. We’re having this conversation here, in front of your little boyfriend.” Jake motioned towards Bob, his face turning a bright red.

“What do you want me to say? I’m sorry? Because I'm not, Jake. Bob isn’t like the other guys you try to protect me from.” You rationalized, trying not to break into tears over the situation.

“Have you told him?” Jake asks, the calmest he’s been all night.

“No, leave it alone.” You knew what he was referring to, the situation that’s caused Jake to be so overbearing. You hadn’t told anyone, nobody needed to know.

“Tell him.”

“Jake, stop. This isn’t the time or place for this.” If you had felt small before you felt even smaller now. Your breath quickening, palms sweaty and mind racing. It was too much and he knew it.

“I’ll do it. So basically, Bob-“

Before Jake could continue his sentence, the free hand that Bob had balled into a fist connected with his cheek, he scrunched his face as he hadn’t realized it hurt to punch someone. Jake brought his hand to his cheek, rubbing it softly and grunting in pain.

“She said no, what is it with you and being such an asshole to fucking everbody? Jesus Christ, Hangman.” Bob let go of your hand and walked closer to Jake, possessed by some sort of confidence he’d never had before. He dealt with the asshole attitude enough of work, eventually somebody had to take it down a notch or two. “Don’t fucking speak to her again unless you’re apologizing.”

You stood there awkwardly, watching your brother being threatened. In another world maybe you would’ve interrupted and talked it out, stepped in between the two of them to avoid an actual fight. But right now, you felt like he deserved this. No amount of brotherly love excused the way he’d spoken to you, or Bob. If anything, you wish Bob had landed more than one punch. You’d whispered something about wanting to go home, your words didn’t feel like yours. Everything was still spiraling and it was overwhelming.

“My place or yours?” Bob whispered, turning back to you and wiping away a tear you didn’t even know had fallen. “Come on.”

You ended up at your place, setting your things on the coffee table in the living room and sitting on the couch. You rubbed your hands up and down your jeans, trying to self regulate just a little bit. Bob was moving around the house behind you, it was all just a blur and you were more focused on yourself. A glass of water was placed on the table in front of you, the couch dipping as he sat down next to you. He smoothed down your hair, placing a small kiss on your temple.

“I’m sorry.” He whispered, leaning his forehead against the side of your head.

“For what?” You asked, taking the glass of water and just holding it in your hand. Contemplating if you wanted a drink or not before taking a sip.

“Him, my punching, me. All of it.” He responded, moving his hand from your hair and rubbing your back.

“It’s not your fault, Bobby. I did it, I should’ve known it was going to blow up sooner or later.” You leaned against him, placing the glass back on the coffee table.

The front door opened, you didn’t need to look to know it was Jake. He walked right past the two of you and into his room, closing the door behind him without uttering a single word. He didn’t apologize to anyone if he thought he was right, and he thought he was right.

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doumadono · 5 months

Note

hii it’s the twice & dabi anon again.

i’m sorry to ask for another emergency request but i’ve been having so much difficulty with my mom over the past year and a half, maybe two. it’s only been getting worse and now she doesn’t even talk to me. i only get updates from my little sisters and— oh my god it’s just horrible. i feel so bad that i had to leave them. but, i just couldn’t stay, you know?

could you maybe write something about twice & dabi comforting their partner/gf about the situation??

you don’t have to write for both!! either or is perfect!!

i just love the comfort you’re willing and able to provide. (even though you don’t have to. it’s truly heartwarming seeing you do this all. i really appreciate what you do.)

i really hope you’re doing well and taking good care of yourself. please be sure to eat properly and drink water!!

A/N: I'm really sorry to hear that you're going through such a difficult time. It's important to prioritize your well-being, and I hope things get better for you soon. Also, thank you so much for your kind words! Your appreciation means a lot. Even though I'm not doing well lately, I'll make sure to take care of myself. Wishing you all the best too! 🌟

EMERGENCY REQS MASTERLIST

Twice

Amid the chaos that permeated your mind, Jin Bubaigawara appeared with a boisterous greeting that momentarily broke the heavy silence that surrounded you. "Hey, babe! Twice is here to lift your spirits!" he declared with his characteristic energy, though his eyes held a genuine concern as he noticed the weight on your shoulders.

As you poured out the complexities of your strained relationship with your mom, Twice listened attentively, his empathy shining through. "Dang, that sounds tough. But you know what? You're strong for facing it head-on, I admire that," he remarked, his voice carrying a mix of reassurance and admiration.

He enveloped you in a tight hug, and his voice softened, "You did what you had to do for your own well-being. Don't beat yourself up about it." He pulled back, looking into your eyes. "You're not alone, okay? The League's got your back, and so do I."

Twice pondered, tapping his chin thoughtfully. "Perhaps you'd like to engage in something? Not sure what exactly. Toga mentioned once that staying busy is beneficial - it keeps your mind from wandering into overthinking territory. And hey, if you ever need a clone to handle some mom-related drama, I got you covered. Double the trouble, double the fun!"

Dabi

The faint glow of Dabi's cigarette illuminated his face as he leaned against the wall, his stoic demeanor unwavering. "Come here, doll," he said, gesturing to the spot next to him.

As you recounted the painful saga of your relationship with your mom, Dabi listened in silence. When you finished, he took a slow drag of his cigarette before speaking. "Family can be a real mess, I know that. Sometimes, you gotta step back to save yourself."

He placed a comforting hand on your shoulder. "Leaving doesn't make you weak, ya know? It takes strength to break away from toxicity, in fact." His voice was low, carrying a raw honesty that resonated with your own emotions.

His long fingers traced soothing patterns on your back as he continued, "You're not alone in this. The past doesn't define you, and you're building a future for yourself, not for them, yeah?"

Dabi's lips curled into a smirk. "We're both well aware of the hell it is to deal with toxic nonsense within our own families. Parents messing up their own kids? That's a special kind of mess."

He lightly tapped your nose. "Take it easy, and find ways to keep that beautiful head of yours focused on other things. Overthinking is just a slow way to kill your own self. Don't let it consume you."

He extinguished the cigarette and looked directly into your eyes. "Just so ya know, if you ever need someone to lean on, I'm here. We're in this together."

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nar-nia · 13 days

Text

jake x fem!reader

word count: 4.5k

warnings: none

~~~

As soon as you opened the door Jake almost jumped onto you, unable to hold still.

“Are you ready??”

You just giggled as you held up your bag, only seconds before Jake grabbed it and basically jumped back to the car.

“I didn't know you looked this much forward to the roadtrip,” you smiled as you followed him .

“I’m just excited I guess. It's been so long since I actually had time to do something adventurous.”

You nodded. “I know how you feel. It's really nice to get out again.”

“See.” Jake grinned, one arm wrapped around your shoulders. “You just get me. That's why we're such a great team.”

He watched as your eyes scanned the car, trying to steal glances into the driver's seat.

“I’m driving,” he declared proudly. “Which is why you will sit right next to me - I want nice company.”

Jake wasn't sure, but he thought he saw you blushing at that statement. The corner of his lips moved involuntarily up, but that quickly stopped when he looked into the car. Everyone was greeting you - except for Sunghoon, who just smirked at Jake. The latter shot him a glance before he sat down in his place, his hands gripping the wheel.

“Okay everyone, are we ready?”

He was met with excited chatter that revealed a yes from all of you, feeling happier and happier as he started the car and led it to the next big street. “Mission roadtrip can begin!”

~~~

It didn't take long for everyone to feel relaxed, smiling faces humming or singing along to the special road trip playlist Jake had created. It made him feel all giddy, especially when he saw you nodding along to it while you tried to figure out the lyrics. You had been friends for a while now, but it still surprised him how much even the small things you did could fascinate him.

“Oh!” you suddenly exclaimed, ripping him out of his thoughts. “I know that one!”

He couldn't help but grin more as you began to sing along, trying his best to keep his eyes on the road and not on you. And especially not on the mirror, Sunghoons smirking face clearly visible in it. Instead he decided to join in, almost freezing when he suddenly felt your hand on his shoulder. You grinned at him, both trying to sing louder than the other, putting all your drama into the song. He could feel his heart skip a beat, quickly looking back onto the road, hoping no one noticed. And that especially you didn't notice how he wished you would just leave your hand there. But the song ended, and you leaned back in your chair again, your cheeks a soft red.

“This was fun.”

“You're a great singer,” Jake smiled.

“And you're a horrible liar.” Jakes ears turned as red as your cheeks when he heard you giggle.

“I mean it! You did well.”

“Thank you Jakey,” you mumbled, your hand briefly touching his arm again. He didn't know why but he suddenly got goosebumps, like little sparks of electricity between you two. He tried to shrug it off, but he held the thought for a minute. This wasn't the first time this happened, that he felt something else when you touched him. And he didn't want you to take away your hand.

“Shouldn't we have turned left here?” Sunghoon spoke up.

“Oh!” You quickly turned your attention towards the map in your hands, and Jake shot a glare towards his friend - who only smirked in return. “We should have, I’m so sorry. But we can just take the next one left instead.”

“Maybe Jake should focus more on the road instead of the company.”

Jake wanted nothing more than to kick Sunghoon out of the car, but before he could say anything you had already turned around and swung the map at him. The boy just laughed, holding up his hands while he grinned at you. “I’m just saying. Maybe you should both focus more on your task and not each other.”

“Or maybe you let me enjoy the company of my friend who I clearly don't see often enough,” you huffed.

Friend. Jake didn't know why he suddenly minded this little word so much. It bothered him, and it also bothered him how casually you had said it. He stayed quiet, but this time he could feel Jays stare on his back, a sympathetic smile on his face.

~~~

Soon you had reached the highway, windows wide open to let in some fresh air. You had dozed off next to Jake, your head resting on the edge of his shoulder. He was surprised that his movements didn't wake you, but he was also grateful for it. Just another opportunity for his heart to speed up, one more chance that you might not pull away any time soon.

“So,” he heard Sunghoon from behind,” will you admit it now?”

“Admit what?” Jake mumbled back, worried that speaking up might wake you.

“That you have a crush on her.”

“I don't.” The words came out a little too rushed, but Jake hoped no one would notice. “We're friends.”

“Sure, that's why you kept grinning and being all giddy when she agreed to join this roadtrip.”

“Exactly - we're friends. Of course I am happy that I get to spend time with her.”

“Sure.” Sunghoon huffed. “Keep telling that to yourself. But I think you have the biggest crush on her, and I bet on my old ice skates that you will realize it on this trip.”

“Well I bet on my new Lego set that I do not have a crush.” Jake glared at Sunghoon. “We're friends and that's all.”

“Sure. Let's see who wins then,” Hoon smirked as he leaned back into his seat. “I can't wait to get the Lego set.”

Jake wanted to say something else, but in that moment you decided to snuggle your face closer into his shoulder, and he didn't dare to move.

“I feel sorry for Jake,” he heard Sunoo whisper. “He's definitely going to loose that lego set.”

“I will not!” Jake didn't mean to speak up, but he did and now you stirred awake on his shoulder, eyes lazily opening.

“Sorry,” he whispered, almost holding his breath. But all you did was mumble a quiet don't be before you closed your eyes again.

“Can you drive like this?” It took Jake a second to realize that you meant your head on his shoulder, but when he did he was quick to agree and assure you that it was no problem. With a smile you allowed yourself to rest again - oblivious to the rush of happiness that was flooding through Jake right now. You didn't pull away, you were actively choosing to stay close to him. He was beaming.

“I will win,” Sunghoon whispered from behind, but Jake couldn't care less about it in this moment.

~~~

“The air is already so much different here,” you mumbled, your head halfway out the window.

“Nature,” Sunoo huffed. “The only good thing about it is the smell.”

You giggled while you looked at him, but your attention was quickly back on the woods around you. “Are we almost there? You said the camping site was in the woods, right?”

Jake nodded. “We should be there in around 10 minutes. You almost slept the whole ride through.”

What caused you to pout caused Jake to smile. You had spent almost all of the trip leaned against Jakes shoulder, your breath soft against his skin, causing him to get goosebumps over and over again.

He was ripped out of his thoughts when you suddenly leaned out of the window, your hair flowing in the wind. Like a reflex he grabbed the back of your shirt, holding you tight so you wouldn't fall out of the car - ignoring that you were also held back by your seatbelt. You shortly looked back at him and Jake could swear that he saw something like a blush on your face. It wasn't long though before you turned back around, your face stretched towards the sun rays that beamed through the trees. Jake had to force himself to look at the street and not at you, peacefully smiling while you took in the view, your hair by now a mess around your head. He almost considered taking a wrong turn somewhere just to enjoy this view for longer… which was completely normal. He adored his friends, of course he would like them to be happy for longer if he could. That's all this was.

~~~

“I’ll help Jake!” You almost shouted when it was time to coordinate what to do first at the campsite.

“Of course you will,” Sunghoon grinned. “What do you two want to do?”

“I think we’ll set up the tents,” Jake mumbled. You nodded along, grinning as the others went to do their own tasks.

“Sunghoon is weird today, don't you think?”

Jake looked up from the manual, trying to appear casual while his heart was beating loudly in his chest. “What do you mean?”

“I never saw him grin this much. And his obsession with you today…”

“Really? I didn't notice. He's always obsessed with me.”

You chuckled, softly punching Jakes shoulder. “Sure. You're weird today too.”

“Me?” Jake froze again, his voice a pitch higher then usual.

“Yes, you. This just proved it. You're really fidgety and nervous today.”

“I don't know what you're talking about.”

“Sure you don't. But it does make me curious, you know.”

“Curious?” Jake knew that avoiding to look at you only proved your point more, but he couldn't help it. He didn't really know what was happening himself, only that his heart was beating loudly in his chest and he felt incredibly nervous.

“What your secret is. But don't worry, I will find it out soon enough,” you grinned. “We will spend a lot of time with each other after all.”

He huffed, trying to appear non-chalant as he pressed a few sticks for the tent in your hands. “Good luck with that. There is nothing weird about me.”

“I disagree. And besides - would you look at me for once please?”

Jakes cheek turned a deep red, he felt almost a little embarrassed, but he finally looked at you. You had a wide smile on your face and suddenly his heart wasn't beating out of fear, but it almost… fluttered. He wanted to keep looking at you, to maybe push that little strand of hair out of your face, maybe-

“And now you're not even listening to me!”

Your words ripped Jake out of his thoughts. Startled, he tried to say something, tried to tell you that you were wrong, but all that came out was a “You're pretty.”

“Oh.” Your cheek turned just as red as Jakes who was mentally scolding himself. “Thank you.”

“It’s just the truth.”

“You're quite handsome too.” Your voice was barely audible, but Jake heard you. His cheeks turned just as red as yours as he looked at you, his heart by now making somersaults. Maybe Sunghoon had actually been right… no. He was just excited over this compliment. You two were friends, and that's it. He shook his head, disagreeing with himself but you seemed to think he was disagreeing with you.

“You are! You have such a handsome face, and don't even get me started on the hair. Man, please don't cut it ever again.”

“If I don't cut it you can call me Rapunzel in a few months,” Jake chuckled. But he loved the way you talked about him, each word making him blush more.

“It really doesn't grow that fast,” you laughed. “But it would be fun! We could braid each others hair.”

“I can braid yours now,” Jake shrugged. “I know how to.”

“Not sure if I believe that. But you're lucky - I love getting my hair braided.”

“Oh don't worry, I will prove it to you,” Jake grinned. “I am very talented.”

“I can't wait but let's build up those tents first.”

Jake nodded, and once he was able to focus again you got it done pretty quickly, both of you admiring your hard work.

“I think we're a great team.” You playfully pushed against his shoulder again. “We should do that more often.”

“Building tents?”

“Yeah!” Now it was your turn to look away, your hands fidgeting. “And going camping together. Maybe just the two of us, that could be fun too…”

“I’d love that.” Jakes mouth was quicker than his brain, but he didn't mind when he saw a wide smile spread on your face.

“Perfect.”

He was just about to speak up again when he noticed a movement along one of your tents, your attention wandering towards it too.

“Did the others come back?”

Jake just shook his head, his whole focus on the tent in front of him. “I don't think that's them.”

You suddenly let out a squeal, your hand grabbing Jakes. “A squirrel!”

Jake didn't know what information he should process first, your hand in his or the squirrel that was running over the lawn towards you. Far too quickly you let go of his hand to crouch down, quietly trying to convince that squirrel to get closer. It didn't, but at least it didn't run away either, hogging your whole attention. It was… cute. Jake had no other way to describe it, other than that he found you incredibly cute in that moment. And he could feel his heart flutter again. He didn't know what was happening, but you were occupying more and more of his thoughts. Of course he had thought about you often before this trip too, you were friends after all, but now it was just… different. He had felt more excited than usual about your presence on this trip, getting all giddy when he thought about it. And now this. He was almost craving to be close to you, wanting to be recognized. He slowly had to admit that this wasn't just friendly feelings anymore, that Sunghoon might have actually realized something before he did realize it himself. He liked you.

“Earth to Jake, are you okay?” Your voice ripped him out of his thoughts, his head snapping upwards to see you and the rest of the guys staring at him.

“Sorry - yeah. I was just thinking about dinner.”

“Oh! I’m hungry too, so we should start cooking right away.” You nodded before you grabbed Sunoo and Jay, discussing what you could make today. Jake on the other hand grabbed Sunghoon, pulling him away from the rest.

“Can we talk?”

“Do you finally admit you like y/n?”

“I do.”

“Oh.” Sunghoon stared at him. “I didn't expect that.”

“Well, I guess you get my lego set,” Jake sighed. “But yeah - you were right about my feelings.”

“Forget that Lego set. How are you feeling about this?”

Jake sighed again, his eyes wandering around, getting stuck on you. He could feel himself getting nervous, his heart once again beating loudly in his chest. “Scared, I think.”

Sunghoon nodded. “You don't want to ruin the friendship.”

“Not just that.” Jake took a second to gather his thoughts. “I just can't stand the thought of her not being around anymore.”

It was quiet for a bit. Jake couldn't stop his eyes from searching for you, a small smile spreading on his face. You were arguing with Jay about something, a wide smile on your face. Suddenly your eyes were on his, the smile turning into a sincere one, your cheeks slowly turning pink. And for a second it felt to Jake that you might be behaving differently than normal too.

“What if she feels the same way?” Jake turned towards Sunghoon again, whose eyes were also focused on you.

“What?”

“What if y/n might feel the same way.”

“I don't think she does.” Jake shrugged. “We're friends after all.”

“Yeah but that didn't stop you from falling for her,” Sunghoon chuckled. “I’m just saying. This camping trip was the only thing she talked about ever since you invited her. And only in relation to you - Jake invited me, I wonder what Jake has planned, do you think Jake will like this snack… it could as well have been a trip between just the two of you.”

Jakes eyes snapped back towards you, his thoughts racing. Could you…

“Today too. You should have seen the smile on her face when you said she’ll sit next to you. Or how she kept looking at you when you were driving. Wanting to stay close to you when we settled on the tasks today…”

“That could just be friendly behavior though…” Jake almost felt dizzy trying to process all of that information. He just figured out that he liked you, and now you might even like him back? He didn't know how to handle that.

“I think it's more than that. And I especially think that she doesn't want to lose you either. You should just talk to her.”

“Thank you, Sunghoon.” Jake nodded. “I should - I will. Tomorrow. When my thoughts are a bit more clear.”

“I wish you all the best, Jake.” Sunghoon smiled. “We all do. You're so happy when you're around her, friends or not. You deserve it.”

Jake almost teared up if you hadn't called them for dinner in that exact moment. Jake took a deep breath and tried to shake off his nerves, Sunghoon giving him a small clap on the back and a supportive smile before both boys went towards your tents again, the smell of food in the air.

~~~

Jake couldn't sleep. He didn't know how long he had tossed and turned around by now, but nothing could calm him down. With a quiet groan he finally decided to give up, put in his shoes and grabbed a blanket before he exited his tent. He wanted to sit down at the fireplace, hoping to gather his thoughts, but there was already a person sitting there. You.

“Hey,” Jake whispered. “What are you doing here?”

You flinched at first, but calmed down quickly when you realized who was talking to you. “I could ask you the same thing.”

“Well I asked first.” Jake sat down next to you, and you probably didn't even notice but you instantly scooted closer.

“Okay,” you giggled. “I can't sleep.”

“Do you know why?”

You shrugged. “There are just a lot of thoughts in my head I guess.”

Jake nodded. “Do you want to talk about it?”

“I don't think I should,” you whispered. “Don't worry about it.”

“I always worry about you.” Jake reached for your hand, softly squeezing it. “You mean a lot to me.”

“You mean a lot to me too.” Your voice had gotten even more quiet, your eyes staring at the fire in front of you. “Do you want to talk? You're awake in the middle of the night too - and I still think you were weird today.”

“I guess I just have a lot on my mind too,” Jake shrugged. “Hey, but I have an idea. Sit in front of me please, back towards me.”

You didn't even hesitate, instantly following his instructions. “What is your idea?”

“I’m going to braid your hair.” Jake grinned, proud of himself for this idea. “You can relax and I can distract myself.”

“Sounds perfect.” He could hear the smile in your voice. When he gathered your hair, accidentally touching your back during it, he could see a shiver going through you.

“Sorry,” he whispered.

“Don't be. I like it.”

Jake could feel himself blushing at your words, and he had to admit that he liked it too. So who could blame him when his fingertips kept touching your neck as he gathered more hair, only causing you to shiver more.

“Now you're just doing it on purpose.”

Jake chuckled as he moved a bit closer to you. “Oh, but you like it,” he whispered in your ear.

He could hear your breath slightly hiccuping, goosebumps spreading over your skin. Oh. You didn't answer, but you didn't have to. Jake already knew it. And he couldn't resist to keep his fingers on you while he braided your hair. It was interesting. You seemed to both relax and freeze at his actions, your breathing picking up.

“Jake?”

“Yes?” he hummed as he finished your braid. He had to admit he was proud of his work, it didn't look too bad and it suited you. But when you turned around and Jake saw tears glistening in your eyes your braid didn't matter anymore.

“Hey, are you okay? What happened?” He instantly wrapped his arms around you, one hand placed on top of your hair to keep you close.

“Why are you doing this?” Your voice broke Jakes heart. He did this to you?

“Doing what?”

You didn't answer at first, but you moved out of Jakes embrace to look at him. You looked hurt, but you mostly looked confused. You looked just like Jake did earlier, when he had the talk with Sunghoon.

“What are we?”

Now it was Jakes turn to freeze. He stared at you with wide eyes, trying to figure out what to say. “I- what do you mean?”

“Please don't play dumb, Jake,” you whispered. “Not right now.”

“I’m sorry.” So this was it. He could either lie and be forced to go through with it… or he could be honest and risk losing you. He was terrified. “I like you, y/n. I guess I realized I like you more than just a normal friend. I’m falling for you.”

Jake didn't know what he expected. Maybe for you to leave? Or to laugh at him? What he didn't expect was you grabbing his hands, squeezing them reassuringly. “Thank you.”

“For what?”

“For being honest.” You smiled at him, and Jake couldn't help but smile along. He was still scared of your reaction, but he felt strangely comforted - if you smiled it couldn't be that bad, right? “I like you too.”

“Oh.” Jake couldn't help but let out a tiny laugh, one that was filled with so much happiness and relief. “Wow.”

“I just-” You took a deep breath. “You braiding my hair and all those tiny touches… I couldn't deal with it if it was just meant in a friendly way.”

“It wasn't.” Jake pulled you closer again, and this time your arms wrapped around him too. “I just couldn't hold back, I’m sorry.”

“It's okay.” You chuckled. “I’m just happy we actually feel the same way.”

Jake nodded. “Since when did you… you know. When did you realize you had a crush on me?”

You laughed, and Jake couldn't help but join in. “I think I got a bit too excited about this camping trip. I couldn't shut up about it - and even less about you. And then during this trip I just realized that I didn't want to be apart from you.”

Now Jake really had to laugh. So Sunghoon had been right - he needed to say thank you the next morning. “Would you believe me if I said it was the exact same for me? I think we're already meant to be.”

“I actually don't doubt that,” you mumbled, pulling him closer. “We're perfect for each other, huh.”

“We are.” There was so much Jake wanted to say, but suddenly he felt so tired and exhausted, all the stress evaporating and leaving him slumped in your arms, simply giving you a small kiss onto the top of your head. “Should we lie down? We can talk about it more tomorrow.”

He could hear you yawn, a new smile spreading on his face while you agreed. “Do you mind if I sleep in your tent tonight? I always slept better around you.”

“I would love that,” he whispered before he pulled you up, holding your hand tightly as he walked you towards his tent.

“Hey, Jakey?”

He barely had time to turn around before you pulled him closer, your hand letting go of his to grab his cheeks. You carefully moved his face towards you, your eyes focused on it. “Is it okay if I kiss you right now?”

Jake nodded, and right after your lips were on his. It was soft, it was sweet, and Jake realized that he was right. He was falling for you, and now even more than before. You were just perfect, and he was so, so lucky that the night had developed like this. Your laughter brought him back to reality as he looked at you starstruck, still trying to comprehend the kiss.

“So do I call you boyfriend now? Baby? The boyfie?”

“Ew,” Jake laughed. “No boyfie please.”

“Okay, boyfie.” You shrugged, but shortly after you let out a tiny squeal as Jake picked you up and carried you inside the tent.

“Call me boyfie again and I will…” He couldn't think of a good punishment, only causing you to giggle more. “Oh come here.”

He grabbed you by the waist, pulling you closer until his face was buried in your neck, pressing a small kiss against it - effectively shutting you up. He could feel you wrapping yourself around him, your hand intertwined in his while he closed his eyes.

“Thank you,” he heard you whisper. “You made me very happy today.”

“You did too, y/n,” he answered. “You're a dream come true.”

~~~

The next day started with lots of excited shouting and a grinning group of six boys, Sunghoon right at the top when Jake and you got out of his tent together.

“Yeah yeah,” you huffed. “You will get your lego set, shut up.”

Jake froze in his steps, staring at you. “How do you know about the lego set?”

“Hm?” You looked at him, eyebrows furrowed. “Sunghoon and I made a bet. He said I have a crush on you, I said I didn't, and now I own him a lego set.”

“That little-” Jake couldn't help but grin. “We made a bet too. I also own him a lego set.”

You started laughing, looking at him in disbelief. “We need to get back to him on that.”

“Hey!” Sunghoon intervened. “Looks like I got you together that way, didn't I? So technically you should even get me a third lego set!”

It only took Jake and you two seconds of eye contact to make up a plan. You both ran towards Sunghoon, Jake grabbing him under his arms while you grabbed his legs. There was a little pond where you carried him to, followed by the loud laughs and cheers of your friendgroup. They were effectively drowning out Sunghoons laughs and pleas for mercy, followed by his scream as you dropped him into the pond. With a snort he came back up again, grinning at you two.

“Okay okay, then no third lego set. But seriously, I am happy for you. Just be aware that there are 6 other guys around you, okay? No excessive kissing please.”

Two seconds later Jakes lips were onto yours, trapping you in a kiss that you both planned to last forever - if it wasn't for said 6 other guys pushing you into the pond.

~~~

this took me so long but i hope it was worth it and you all enjoyed it 🩷 i would love to hear your feedback and opinions about this so please don't hesitate to reach out.

requested by @blackberryrains (thank you for the cute prompt <33)

permanent taglist: @suneonu @soobin-chois @sjyuniverse @taekbokki

#jake sim #jake enhypen #enhypen #jake sim fanfiction #jake sim oneshot #jake sim x reader #jake enhypen fanfiction #jake enhypen x reader #jake enhypen oneshot #enhypen fanfiction #enhypen oneshot #enhypen x reader #jake sim fluff #enhypen fluff #jake enhypen fluff #fluff

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crimson-kisses · 4 months

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Oh my god, I need more yandere ludwig. Your work is amazing! Keep up the good work, but don't forget about yourself!!🖤 May I ask what would Germany's behavior be like if the reader were pregnant? Or if their daughter? (son?) already born? It seems to me that nothing will help the poor reader in this case, I see him twice as protective and controlling than he already is. And if we add the fact of the presence of the "Great Uncle Gilbert" ... Just good luck to the nerve cells and the psyche of the reader :')

(sorry for the mistakes, English is not my native language ><)

Omg thank you so much! I am so glad people have been loving my works, the characterization is kinda wobbly in my opinion but still. I really do appreciate the compliments! Your English is quite good doll, don’t worry ;3 love the ask though, the drama would surely be intense. 🐝✨

Warnings; anything traumatic related to pregnancy. non-con. proceed with caution.

🇩🇪

Innere Unruhe

It wasn't necessarily the first thought you had in mind, obviously. You remembered your stomach doing backflips as you wobbled around the kitchen, a rather common occurrence after Ludwig had been significantly rough with you while you were cooking dinner.

His hands pulled up your dress, his fingers tracing your skin as they teasingly played with the hem of your underwear. His other hand snaked across your waist, pressing your back against him as his lips gently kissed your neck. The scent of his cologne overwhelmed you, and you could feel the tension from his workplace leaving his body.

It wasn't the first time, but you still weren't accustomed to it. You wished you were. Sometimes when you wanted him, it was bearable, hopelessly addicting even.

Slowly his fingers begin playing with your silky folds. Never mind you cooking dinner, his hands now pulling at your dress, the apron, your hair messily falling over your back, not caring much about the food Ludwig turns the stove off and seems hell bent on making your thighs shiver from just his fingers.

As you gracefully collapse onto him, he gently lets you slide to the floor while casually starting to wash his hands. You assume dinner comes first, and then it's likely time for the bedroom, where he will carry you off to.

Throwing up half of your dinner was not in your plans though.

Honestly, all you felt was slight discomfort for the past few weeks and you had assumed that was your new normal considering the lifestyle you had with Ludwig. Both of you were active in the bedroom, and even though it was horrible to admit, your lover made damn sure you had reached your climax to the point of blacking out.

It was after when Ludwig had been cuddling with you, seemingly in a sleepy mood today when you might have started breathing heavily alerting the man behind you, it was disgusting and you might have cried out of frustration as gentle but strong hands carried you to the washroom and in a short time, freshly cleaned up, the moment your head landed on the pillow, you were out.

And then you began noticing the symptoms, a woman’s body is bound to act up in a complicated manner during stress, right? So the absence of your period? Must be the stress. The throbbing pain? Well, Ludwig could get very rough at times. Throwing up? Maybe your stomach wasn’t digesting food properly. Sore breasts? Again, rough sex. Excuses after excuses. And with what you were going through, this was simply accepted as your new normal.

Ludwig had begun to take care of you, making sure you were fed and hydrated well, stressing over your health which seemed to take a drastic turn all of a sudden. It was probably just a fever. Perhaps he had been too harsh on you? Nonetheless, he encouraged you to take rest and did everything in the home and looked after you. To you, he was being somewhat dramatic.

But again, you had a feeling in your gut that this was something more than a cold. A woman’s body had it’s magical ways of making such things known. In the form of pain.

Of course, you had lost your balance and went tumbling down the flight of stairs, vision blurry and a strong sense of nausea enveloping your body in its strong grip. You tried breathing heavily, trying to calm yourself down but it hurt. Hurt so bad. And Ludwig had gone to a meeting just a while ago.

“Oi Ludwig, are you— Holy Mother—",

Gilbert. Oh how you despised that man, but how did he get in?, the concerning thought flew out of the window as you felt cold hands land on your forehead, caressing your throbbing head, almost as if he was investigating a wounded animal. Which you supposed was a perfect description.

After that, all you remembered was being placed on a couch, and voices whispering in rapid German. Did he call his brother? Obviously. Maybe he had called him to take care of you since you were unable to so yourself. God, that felt pathetic, so so pathetic.

Ludwig stared at your distressed form with a grimace set on his lips, thank god his brother had arrived in time, but that didn’t necessarily explain what was going on with you. If anything, he was getting more and more concerned about your well being. He wasn’t going to take you to a hospital, the thought of that made him feel disgusted, he was not going to let them touch you.

Instead, he thought of calling for Emma first thing tomorrow. He had given her his workload for today, she might be able to help or advice just what was going on with you,

He had helped you reach the bedroom, letting you lay down and decided to leave you alone at the moment, maybe some good rest oughta make you feel better, and some time alone from him. Was he stressing you out? Was he the reason for this? Sighing in frustration, he felt so annoyed and upset at himself.

It was after a moment of silence when you opened your eyes, the house was dark with only a few lights on, alerting you until you remembered what had happened. Ugh, your belly hurt so much. Trying to lift yourself up, you tried to bear the ache on your waist, at least your vision was clear now with no sign of blacking out any time soon.

Slowly but steadily, you made your way to the washroom, easily pulling off your silky dress and tossing it on the floor. Your hands immediately rested on the floor lengthen mirror and that’s when you truly saw your reflection.

Messy hair, it had been brushed by Ludwig just before so it wasn’t a tangled mess but nonetheless still messy. Your skin was sickly pale with dark circles and dry as your lips, your body seemed to be growing chubbier these days, your breasts hurt and your—

Wait.

Narrowing your eyes, you slowly turned to the side, eyeing your stomach more carefully. Touching the flesh with tender fingertips as if something inside you was telling you to be gentle. As if something was there, your body seemed to be telling you that, your belly had gotten somewhat bigger and the area throbbed in pain at times.

For some reason, you couldn’t breathe.

Thankfully your legs found the toilet seat and you fell right on top of it. Breathing more heavily, you clutched your thighs and tried to clear down your thoughts.

It couldn’t be.

Nations could not get pregnant nor could they make anyone else pregnant. That was explained to you by your agency when you were ordered to spy on the personification of Germany. It was further confirmed by Ludwig. But again, he was a young nation himself, maybe there’s been a mistake. Maybe it was because he had forced you to consume a part of him and become a semi-immortal?

A raspy gasp escaped your throats as you hyper focused on breathing. Just breathe, just breathe.

You know what you had to do.

“Are you doing alright?”, Ludwig asked you as he pulled the blanket over him, his voice laced with genuine concern and a hint of guilt in his eyes. He didn’t bother to pull your body close to him this time.

“It’s fine really”, you lied, obviously. There was a slight tremble in your voice which made Ludwig furrow his brows a bit. Nonetheless, he gave a firm nod and opened his laptop and starting wearing his headphones.

After a while had passed, you slowly pulled yourself closer to him and curled your hands around his arm, nuzzling you cheek against his muscle and sighing tiredly. Stifling a smile of victory as you felt his movements stop.

You heard a sigh and felt his fingers touch your scalp, soothing your roots and soon enough his body was cuddling against yours.

“Feeling well?”, he asked in a whisper and you nodded slightly. Honestly you had done this before to get what you want and you weren’t exactly sure whether Ludwig already knew your intentions or he was just glad to have such soft romantic moments.

“It was just my period acting up”, you mumbled with a fake whimper following soon enough, voice feeble and quite. “I might need to order some supplies, please?”

Fluttering your eyelashes, you gave him a meek expression and you tried hard not to smile or have your heartbeat give away to your plans. You saw him contemplating until you saw a slight smile on the corner of his mouth. He must have been so tired, poor thing,

“Whatever you want”.

He continues watching his show as you scrolled through his phone, putting several items in the bucket list as well as some supplies which you would experiment with later, not that he would know. Ludwig was kind of a simp really.

Finalizing you order, you gave his phone back to him and continues to muzzle with his arm until you fell asleep.

The delivery came quickly enough, you had to contain yourself from showing growing dread and absolute tension in front of Ludwig the whole day, especially when you carried the delivered boxes towards your bedroom as Ludwig helped you and then left you alone to go to his office.

Quickly you grabbed onto a loose dress, some pregnancy tests, a pad and headed to the washroom. Your hands were shaking terribly but you had done it.

You stared at the floor in a newfound terror, as each and single one of the tests showed positive. Each single one. positive. The marks were all you could see as your heart plummeted. Pregnant.

You were with a child. A baby was growing in your stomach which was supposed to be impossible. And it honestly felt as if it was growing faster than a normal child would. Because you could literally feel your body changing at times. It could be, considering the fact this was a nation’s child. Germany’s child. If Ludwig came to know?

You had to escape. Fast.

Knock. Knock.

“Everything alright?”,

Shit. Your head whipped around to stare at the doorknob turning and quickly hid the supplies you brought to the washroom. The used tests were stashed in the pad’s packet and you put on a pad just for the act.

“Do you need help?”, his voice sounded worried and you internally cursed, oh you have helped a lot Ludwig. Fucking thanks.

“Coming! Just making sure it wouldn’t leak!”, you heard a slight cough and rolled your eyes at the man who was probably blushing on the other side of the door.

Seriously what did he expect you were doing? As much as he was sharp, he could be a dimwit. Stupid meathead. God, the anger towards him was growing day by day, especially at your predicament.

“Sorry, I was just concerned Schatz, take your time”.

This was bad. Ludwig was already so strung up about you even though you had tried so hard to show him that you were alright, you had to subdue his worries fast or else escaping with your child would be hard to do so. No wonder, your health would plummet sooner or later and your chances would plummet as well.

You knew he would be waiting just outside for you, so washing yourself properly, putting on a relaxed expression you decided to put on an act.

“Finally, everything good?”, Ludwig asked after an exasperated sigh, pissing you off slightly but you managed to subdue the anger. He grasped your hands and stared at your face, pulling your body closer to his as he took in your scent.

“Of course. My health’s gotten a lot better, you really don’t have to worry so much. I am doing well Ludwig, trust me?”,

There was hitch in his breath as you asked the last question, and in your too. Trust. It was about trust at the end wasn’t it?

You betrayed him the moment you stepped into Germany as a spy, his trust afterwards when you attacked with a gun, knife or a frying pan, trying to escape him over and over again. He couldn’t trust you that easily, that’s been few years ago and yet sometimes you can feel his eyes scrutinize you.

"I made dinner", was the only thing he replied with, holding your hand and leading you downstairs, uncertainty began to bubble up under your skin and it didn’t go away for the rest of the day.

Emma had said that nothing was wrong with you, only a fever which humans had once in a while which subdued Ludwig's and your worries, you supposed she wouldn’t even think of pregnancy being possible. Ludwig only ate in silence as the television played an action movie, your eyes following the scenes.

It was a new show which you saw Ludwig watching, sensing your interest he decided to connect it to the tv. At first, you avoided it like the plague but being bored enough, you decided to give it a try. Which was a common occurrence these days, whether it was something you liked or he liked, it ended up being shared or brought up quite frequently.

Strangely domestic. It unnerved you at times.

"I was thinking",

huh?

Your eyes met his, and you suddenly realized that he had been staring at you all along. You noticed him glance at your hands, causing you to quickly unclench them. Was your anxiety that apparent? Damn.

"I checked your bucket list", he did?

Narrowing his gaze, your heart skipped a beat as he gently held your hand. Which he had broken quite a few times while interrogating you. He took in a deep breath and placed a chaste kiss on your hand and eventually your cheek causing you to flinch, which he noticed keenly.

He stared at you with an empty expression for a while, while you did your best to avoid making eye contact. Your senses became more alert, and you could sense him gradually moving closer to you on the couch. He balanced his plate on his thigh while holding your hand, and his breath gently brushed against your neck as he rested his chin on your shoulder.

You attempted to control your breathing while hyper focusing on the movie. However, the weight on your shoulder provoked your resistance as his hand gradually encircled your back, pulling you closer to him.

"Ludwig, what are you doing?" you asked firmly, but it didn't seem to faze him at all, which only heightened your concerns. This was what worried you at times. While you could usually dissuade him easily, there were moments like this when he didn't play into your hands so easily. This was the man who had hunted you down and single-handedly defeated the rest of your team with his intelligence and strength alone.

"Emma pulled me aside after your test," he said slowly, causing your thighs to clench together. "She concluded me that all the symptoms you displayed were indicative of…" He trailed off and you attempted to push him away, but was forcefully pulled back towards him, his fingers digging into your waist.

He turned off the tv.

You tried to speak up but Ludwig shushed you as his palm was placed on your mouth, "I know you're not on your period," he whispered into your ear, causing your eyes to widen. Your chest rose and fell as you began to breathe heavily, and your thighs trembled as Ludwig nuzzled your neck, planting firm kisses.

He kissed you gently, yet possessively, his warm breath causing you to shiver as you struggled to contain your tangled emotions, trying not to struggle too much. Why did he start doing this all of a sudden? You believed you had finally caught him, but it appeared as though he willingly fell into your trap, as if it was his only opportunity to earn your affection.

"I don't know what your deal is, but don't keep playing the same game that you failed in repeatedly. I'm not begging you like I did last time," he whispered harshly.

"It’s a warning".

He let go of you, placing the plate harshly on the table and stood up. Hastily wiping his hands on a napkin, thinking quickly you clutched onto his thigh, "Ludwig— I was only worried I swear—“, you started, but he only clicked his teeth.

"And? You didn't even try to consult me?" He only gave you a glare, effectively ending the conversation as he left, leaving you in a state of meltdown on the couch.

"Forget it, you can’t get pregnant", he hissed sharply before storming out of the room. You wondered if he was disappointed by that fact or simply fed up with your constant schemes of escaping his grasps.

You had to escape tonight. Though could you even? It wouldn’t be the first time, but that was the issue. Ludwig was constantly on the lookout for any signs of disobedience from you, a man doesn’t suddenly lose his intelligence and brain after fucking a woman, for a while perhaps. But Ludwig despite being hopelessly in love, wasn’t going to play into your games again. Especially if he would end up finding out that you can be pregnant.

You take in a shaking breath, composing yourself and putting your act together as you head towards the bathroom. Throwing away your pad with a dissatisfied grumble, frustrated tears clinging to your lashes. You wipe them away hardly with your hands, exiting the washroom only to crash onto Ludwig, who catches you firmly, both of his hands on your waist.

“what’s wrong— shit—“, he wipes your tears and holds your face tenderly, you wondered if he thought that you were upset by what he said. He stared at you for a while before he hugged you, making you feel conflicted.

You didn’t think you could escape. This would be what? The nineteenth time? Or twenty-two? You didn’t quite remember, every time you were dragged back and punished, whether it was making you beg or cry, in the end Ludwig always made damn sure that you would be his. Even if sometimes you had disappeared for months at a time.

You had escaped to Southern Asia, Central Africa, South America and each time, he found you and brought you back. Nothing helped, your connections and underground friends were all gone and useless because Ludwig made sure that Gilbert disposed off them entirely.

All the drowsiness and sickness seemed to engulf at once as your knees gave out, Ludwig swiftly caught you by your waist, your legs wrapped around him as he layer you down on your bed. His eyes stared at you apprehensively as he towered over you.

You hunched up your dress, sniffling and gazing at the ceiling above. What were you attempting to plan, anyway? You were in a hopeless situation. How could you forget that you had been with Ludwig for years? Years of running away and getting caught again. Even if you managed to escape, you would still be searching and longing for someone to love you as deeply as him. This realization shattered you, made you angry, but ultimately… all you did was take a moment to catch your breath.

"I can’t—", you began but he silenced you, traces of the previous argument evident in his tensed muscles. His jaw was clenched tightly as he stared at your flushed form.

"Trust me?", Ludwig whispered softly, hunching over you as you looked at him with fresh tears falling off your eyes. Understanding what he meant as he traced your thighs, moving your dress to expose your skin, you hastily gripped his naked shoulders, broad frame overtaking your vision.

Soon enough, he began venting all his frustrations onto you. Your thighs were on his shoulders as he relentlessly thrust into you, biting your shoulder and breasts, planting harsh kisses on your skin. His hot breath and deep murmurs sent shivers down your spine, and loud, explicit moans escaped your lips as your eyes rolled back. It was a steaming delirious pleasure coiling around and drowning you.

Once again, the bed trembled from the intensity of Ludwig's thrusts, as he pounded into you with an animalistic force, leaving bruises on your thighs, waist, and back. It seemed like Ludwig was determined to make a point, although you couldn't quite understand what it was.

He fondled your breasts in a gentle manner when he was done filling you with his load over and over again, your body shook from the force it went through. Painful pleasure made you throb, both of your fluids, tears and sweat drenching your figure. Ludwig panted heavily, his muscles flexing in all its glory as you grasped his shoulders and moaned pathetically.

Giving a toothy kiss to your breast, he murmured hotly near your ear.

"You are going to be a great mother".

Your heart plummeted.

Ahem, so what happens now? (I was getting way off topic)

Ludwig would eventually find out about your pregnancy one way or another, whether by some indication or snooping around your damn business. And when he does, he is going to have a breakdown at first. Firstly, because such a thing should not be possible, but lo and behold. The power of a woman knows no boundaries.

However, he would also be ill-equipped to raise a child. Ludwig lacks emotional depth and has little experience with children , he would be uncertain about his ability to care for a child. after having a deep conversation with his family and friends, he would take it as his responsibility since he was the one who put that child into you. And in the end, that was his baby too.

After collecting himself, Ludwig would actually be quite elated. His wife was pregnant, and deep down, he had always fantasized about and desired to have a wife and a child whom he could care for, just as his siblings had cared for him. To have some sort of normalcy and an escape. Soon enough, after throughly researching and studying, he would feel confident enough in himself to shoulder on the responsibilities. Also with you beside him would make him feel more secure.

"Ludwig, it’s not that much of a big deal!", you yelped as Ludwig carried you upstairs, near your newly furnished bedroom where he placed a tv and everything else you might need. Last thing he wanted was for you to move around carelessly and needlessly, unless it was for exercise and hygiene. Gilbert trailed behind him with a grin on his face, apparently he was your especially appointed bodyguard with Emma and Lily as your maids. This was ridiculous.

He would be extremely protective, constantly hovering over you and ensuring your well-being. He would prioritize your comfort and relaxation, carefully managing your eating and sleeping schedule. He would exert control over every aspect of your life to ensure everything goes smoothly. He is afraid of losing you, and his overbearing nature might eventually lead Gilbert to intervene and set him straight. because he would be stressing you out too.

Gilbert would thwart any of your attempts and antics immediately. It was fun back in the days, but now with you being very vulnerable with his brother's child, he would be very firm and protective over you as well. Watching you like an eagle.

Ludwig already has the entire nursery planned and baby proofed, with your input here and there, including everything else a child needs. This man is brainstorming every possibility. He has everything prepared and protected. The medical team is one of the best in Germany, and you have top security from the government themselves after Ludwig requested so.

Considering the fact that your predicament is basically a miracle, it might bring about some curious nations and Ludwig is not going to let that slide. This man is just itching for someone to mess up.

I feel like he would want a boy. He’s not sexist ofc! it’s just that he would personally love to have a son to take care of and raise him properly with discipline that Gilbert inflicted on him but also the affection he needed too. Eventually, it wouldn’t matter. It’s just a preference if he was asked about it.

He wants four btw, two boys and two girls. Ludwig would be embarrassed to admit this, but you will definitely end up with four kids if he can’t help it. He can, he chooses not to.

Eventually, you have twins - a boy who is slightly older than the girl. Ludwig, upon holding their tiny bodies, almost dies. He may have cried, but in that moment, he couldn't care less.

As a Nation, Ludwig's genes would end up overtaking yours, meaning the children would mostly look him with some of your features. Ludwig ofc notices this and makes sure that you don’t end up having a breakdown because of him over the children.

He knows, you might end up having depression and stress, which is why he would be present at home often. Gilbert would also be visiting often with his darling, taking care of the children and ensuring that you don’t lose your mind and hurt the kids. I feel as if Ludwig would be okay with Lily and Emma visiting as well, his children need to socialize.

As they grow up faster, being the children of a nation, I believe that his son would resemble Ludwig right away, with his shiny blond hair, eyes a striking blue, the only in resemblance being your eye shape and eyebrows. Unfortunately, his possessive attitude towards you also starts to develop. Being the oldest son, he feels responsible for taking care of you, which leads to daily arguments between the two of you and Ludwig. He wouldn’t dare argue with his uncle tho.

The girl, on the other hand, sort of resembles you in personality. She has the same confidence as Gilbert and is passionate in everything she does. However, she also possesses an unwavering honesty. She is obsessed with gaining your and Ludwig's approval and desires for both of you to always be together. She is very affectionate and sweet, but also quite anxious, much like you. The only thing that resembles you are her eyes.

You could say that, Ludwig raises them to be equally responsible and have proper sense of duties. But he is softer on his girls, Gilbert is not tho, but he isn’t as harsh on them as he is with the boys. Which is probably why their yandere tendencies are much more apparent— in the end, you suppose it’s a cycle. Little did you know, your girls were taking after you— only that they were yandere too.

Ludwig would end up spoiling them, but at the same time he would be very strict. Mostly because his oldest son gives him very doubtful vibes, his daughter seems to rather dainty, his other son is a nervous wreck, his youngest daughter is a shy bean. But in the end, they aren’t really that innocent. And he knows. You hope they turn out normal though (they don’t.)

He would be enrolling them in the best educational institutions, they will be known as the rich cool kids in school, extremely smart and intelligent. With a confusing aura unnerving but also attracting many people, in the end they end up twisted as Ludwig, when their weight of immortality and power catches up to them.

They would also be very protective over you but you can easily deter them to have some sort of privacy and control. In the end, Ludwig expects them to respect and listen to their mother, and the kids wouldn’t cross any strict boundaries.

Also, Ludwig would be the one making sure you get a proper bath, his hands gentle and soft as he slowly cleans you, while also making sure you were comfortable. This man can’t keep his hands of your pregnant body, whether it’s for a massage or physical affection he can never get enough of.

He will also make sure to pleasure you, especially when your feeling particularly needy or cravings, he will be there between your legs, softly sucking any area he can find. He would especially be fondling your breasts and yes, he would develop a lactation kink. And a breeding kink, honestly this man is kinky af when it comes to his woman.

As much as he would be suffocating, he is also very gentle because he would so nervous that he might end up fucking this up like everything else in his life and he simply cannot have that. He can’t mess this up too.

Constantly asks his brother for advice on how to take care of the kids, and maybe his boss would end up babysitting them or something when he takes them to work lol. You will actually get a lot of help for taking care of the child. Especially if you would be easily tired and vulnerable, you won’t have to worry about a thing.

Although Ludwig would still be very protective with the kids, they would grow up quite quickly and stronger too, which will tone him down. But he would be strict with what they do and how they do it. He would still be possessive over you and paranoid that since his attention won’t be fully on you, you would try to leave him again. So he trusts the kids to take care of that. And they do so.

Things are alright, you could say, obviously not the kind of life you had in mind back in the days. With having strong immortal kids and a husband, but is what it is. Gilbert would tease the shit out of you and sometimes belittle if you act up too much. Ludwig wouldn’t suddenly loose his teeth when it comes down to your or his kids' disobedience.

Things are relatively tame, aside from few arguments, disagreements, tension brewing between nations. You would be rather stable as time goes on, Ludwig would be tamer as well if you behave and stop trying to stir shit up. It’s all good.

That is until….

The winter breeze rushes in as the front door is forcefully opened and then locked. You set your book down on the table next to your armchair as you stand up, the blanket wrapped around you falling carelessly to the ground. You don't care; your eyes are fixed on your eldest son.

"Leonard, what is this?" you cautiously ask him, your breath catching in your throat as you take in the scene. Your senses are overwhelmed by a strong smell of copper, quickly rendering you motionless.

It reminded of you when his twin came in, announcing her utterly obsessive devotion to her boyfriend, who avoided Ludwig's eyes at all cost.

However, she was relatively tame in comparison to this.

Your son, towering over you, almost his father’s height, stood with a manic grin on his face. His dark blond hair messy, eyes glinting with joy but his face— …… they were stained with blood. But that was nothing alarmingly shocking.

No.

It was the poor, shivering girl bundled up tightly in his arms, she was also covered in dark blood, which stained her face and clothes. Sniffling, she attempted to hide her face.

You saw Leonard's eyes roll and frown at her feeble attempt, he brought her closer to give a kiss on her forehead, not minding her flinching away as if it burned. His eyes, lighter than his father's, clashed with yours. A smug look comes on his face along with his familiar grin.

Is he taunting you? Challenging your authority? Or is it a warning?

You wonder if Ludwig knows, or ever wondered that his son committed a bloodbath—

"Fühlt sich vertraut an, Mutter?"

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