#and the cycle repeats over and over… when does it stop… how do i make it stop

[adamarks]

The thing is. Not gonna put this on fox’s post bc it’s a tangent. Anyway the thing is Ed and Stede are kinda codependent? What they are, though, is a) two animals who have pair bonded and b) ed seems to have more of an actual clinical depiction of codependency.

The big thing about codependency is that it’s not actually “one partner keeps the other partner good and pure and keeps them from being Mean and Bad.🥺” Codependency’s whole thing is control. It’s a saviour complex. And THE THING IS? It doesn’t work. You cannot “save” a person from being themself, from engaging in their addiction, from hurting themself. They need to make the executive decision to change, the codependent person cannot do that for them. Thus it becomes a cycle. Try to save -> see that they’re not doing what you want -> get angry/upset/punish yourself for not succeeding/sink with them -> rinse and repeat.

Izzy? Now HE is codependent on Ed. You can be codependent on someone who is perfectly fine. He tries to control Ed’s every move, doesn’t succeed, and inevitably gets angry. If you pick up an on god actual textbook, or like any Melody Beattie book, you will see that he is the very definition of codependency.

Cycling back to Ed, though. I do think he’s codependent. You don’t kill your alcoholic father to protect your mother. We don’t mysteriously never see his mother again and know that he went to sea at a young age for no reason. He tried to save her, it backfired. A woman telling her child that they’ll never have better because god decided they’d be miserable is not ready to be saved, is not ready to get out of an abusive situation.

Then, of course, there’s Jack. Jack is eternally getting Ed to do shit for him. To help him because he’s so helpless uwu or whatever. A douchebag who can’t seem to take care of himself and is on the hunt for someone to cater to him??? Mmm yummy! A codependent’s dream! In the episode, he caters to Jack’s every whim, makes excuses for him, and finally does the “sinking with him” thing when he inevitably pushes too far. This is partly because of Jack’s manipulation, partly because that’s what Ed’s family situation had been.

Now that we’ve established all of that, back to my original point: you don’t stop being codependent just because you get into a healthy relationship. I’m certain that a small part of the breakup era sads was that yet again he’d done something huge, sacrificed something big, and his efforts had gone wholly unwanted, just like what he’d done for his mom. And then there’s that fear. Ed knows the power that people he loves have over him. He knows how he acts in love! He knows how much it hurt when Stede left him! It makes sense, then, that he would run away when he sees Stede doing something he’s not too keen on (going full pirate party animal when Ed doesn’t want to be a pirate anymore). It’s fantastic that he’s running away though! He’s not doing shit he doesn’t want to do to humor Stede like he did with Jack. He’s not trying to force Stede to change directions. He’s not trying to control the situation! He’s seeing that he’s freaking out and he’s removing himself. Albeit poorly, but this is a step closer to being able to actually communicate things. He realizes he’s the variable he can change in dynamics.

So to close up, yeah the relationship is maybe a little codependent but not in the way people seem like to say? It’s codependent in that Ed has codependency issues and those will inevitably crop up in any deeply intimate relationship you’re in. It doesn’t mean you shouldn’t be in a relationship. It doesn’t mean that the relationship is bad or unhealthy. It just means you’re a human person with shit to work on.

#idk. sorry for the rant. maybe this is stupid #aaaauuuggghhh don’t look at me

[loveistheonlytruth]

i hate always feeling like the ugliest person, someone so wholly disgusting and undesirable, undeserving of love. its a constant feeling and im so TIRED

#even in moments that i know its irrational somehow it always feels true even though i know it isnt…… idk how to explain it #and these feelings manifest into other problems lol #when i look back on myself a year or two years before i always marvel how lovely i was but all the memories i have is me hating myself #and the cycle repeats over and over… when does it stop… how do i make it stop

[sttoru]

𝝑𝑒 synopsis. after being married to satoru for two years, you still giggle and (secretly but not so secretly) fangirl about him whenever given the chance. your husband absolutely loves indulging you.

tags. husband!gojo satoru x wife!female reader. fluff, sfw, tiny bits of angst. tooth rotting fluff yeah. reader gets called ‘princess, baby’. inspired by this ask.

“and and and, his smile ‘s just so beautiful,” you sigh dreamily, resting your head on satoru’s lap. you’re both enjoying the cozy night in your shared apartment. with no one bothering you—with no regards for the world that’s continuing its cycle outside.

satoru chuckles as he pats your head slowly, taking his time to appreciate every feature of yours. from your pink-ish lips to your pretty eyes. he’s so in love with the creation god has gifted him. he nods attentively, “yeah? what else?”

you giggle as he indulges you. it’s a habit of yours, to fangirl over your husband like you’re not literally his wife. satoru finds it absolutely adorable. plus, it boosts his ego. in a very good way.

“aaaand, he’s caring. that’s the one thing i love most about him,” you continue to ramble about your little ‘crush’ on that so-called mysterious white-haired sorcerer. satoru wishes he could capture this moment and keep repeating it over and over in his head.

the way you talk about your crush - him - is filling his stomach with butterflies. the tall man can’t deny the faint blush on his cheeks and the fuzzy feeling in his chest. you keep getting cuter and cuter the more time passes.

when he thinks you’ve reached a state of perfection in his eyes, you once again prove him wrong and go beyond that. “caring, hm? he must treat my princess real good then,” satoru hums and continues petting your head. his other hand rubs your stomach—fingers creeping under the material of your nightgown.

“he does,” you nod in agreement, “he treats me so well. i don’t know how i got so lucky to have met him.” you squirm a little as you feel satoru’s slender fingers graze your midriff, going back down to your belly and then back up your chest again. his touch is so intimate and loving. you’re spoiled. spoiled rotten by his affection.

satoru sighs. his white lashes flutter shut for a second. hearing you say such stuff makes him want to check if it’s reality he’s in. if it isn’t another too-good-to-be-true dream of his. no one had loved him as much as you did.

it feels good to know that he’s wanted. needed.

“no, i think he is the lucky one,” satoru continues. his hand petting your head stops and he moves it to rub your cheek tenderly. he leans his head down, the tips of your noses touching. he whispers, “having a pretty girl like you love him so dearly… yeah, he’s won the lottery.”

your heart skips a beat. satoru’s words leave you speechless. you don’t know if you can keep up the little silly act anymore. his flirting, the teasing and the genuineness behind his words—it’s all too much.

you grab the back of his head and push his lips down against yours. satoru’s breath hitches for a second before he gives in to you. he visibly melts, eyes closing and hands tightening their grip around your body.

“mmh,” satoru lets out a content moan. he loves you. he’s glad he’s met you and he’s glad he made you his wife two years back. you’re the only one for him. death won’t do you apart—no—he promised you on your wedding day that it wouldn’t.

you kiss him like it’s your last kiss on earth. the spark between you is still as warm and strong as it was when you met. the people who’ve warned you about the ‘honeymoon phase’ are clearly all wrong. they aren’t aware of the strength your bond with satoru has. you’re inseparable.

“i love you,” you sigh against satoru’s glossy lips and he deepens the kiss after that.

somebody loves him. somebody cares for him. that’s all he needs in life. his life is complete with you in it. he smiles against your lips and says the three words back, with more passion than ever before, “i love you too, my angel.”

nothing will ever separate you. not fate. not anyone.

#sttoru writes. #jjk x reader #gojo x reader #gojo satoru x reader #gojo x you #jjk x you #gojo x y/n #jjk x y/n #jjk fluff #gojo fluff

[urhoneycombwitch]

eddie x latebloomer, virgin reader (so not self-projecting...) who isn't innocent or typically what people say is "virginal" (because virginity is a construct!) but still gets super nervous about heavy petting/sex because they've never done it before and don't want to be bad or weird and literally just flees at the confrontation

until that ovulation hits and r! is trying so hard to ignore it, squirming on Eddie's couch/bed and he's like 🤨 you ok? and then it just comes out in a whole word vomit that he's super hot and they're absolutely soaked but don't know what to do and it probably won't be good and they should just go home and eddies like... no big deal, I'll just eat you out, no penetration 🤷🏻

and when they do actually have sex later, I know Eddie talks R through it

ty for suggesting this anon! u got me inspired here's a lil blurb. also dedicated to @wdsara48 who asked for more inexperienced!reader content 🫡

+18 mdni: Eddie’s a bit clueless about the hormone cycle, oral (r receiving), cumming in pants (guess who), ovulation horny (™)

____________

On second thought, it was probably a really bad call to visit your boyfriend when you were this horny.

Which sounds silly, you know it does- who wouldn't want to visit their hot boyfriend at a time like this?- but you've really been enjoying taking it slow this time around. Eddie is the first boy you've dated who has totally and completely earned your trust when it comes to sex- he's never once pressured you to take your heated make-out sessions any further, pulling back and unwinding himself from you with spit-slick lips every so often to gauge your comfort level.

Is this okay? How are you feeling? Wanna take a break?

So kind. So considerate. So far away, in the kitchen, humming to himself while he fixes dinner, hair loose and curling around the shoulders of his tight Metallica tee. Every time he reaches over to stir the pot of chili on the stove, the lean muscles in his upper back and biceps curl and flex.

Hormones are flushing hot through your body, the couch you’re seated on feeling more and more confining by the second; you cross your legs at the ankle in an attempt to stave off the fidgeting, but when this causes the thick denim of your zippered jeans to press into the ache between your legs you are quick to uncross them again.

There’s a low-toned buzz that’s taken up residence in your hearing, like all the raging horniness has no place else to go- which is why you don’t hear Eddie the first time he speaks.

He’s standing at the edge of the living room now, hands on hips, one dark brow raised in your direction- “Earth to angel. You with me?”

“Huh?” You swallow harshly against the dryness in your throat (contrasted with the excess wetness in other places) and shake your head, slipping your hands underneath your thighs to sit on them and ground yourself a bit. “Sorry, I was zoning out. What’d you say?”

“I said you seem antsy tonight,” Eddie repeats, moving in to sit next to you, close enough for your knees to touch. “Had too much coffee or somethin’? Y’know, you really shouldn’t drink that stuff after noon. Not good for ya.”

He’s teasing, all smooth movements with an easy grin as he snakes an arm around your shoulders.

The smoke-sweet smell of his cologne floods your senses- musky and heady and this underlayer of something earthy, wild, that you could swear hits on a primal nerve by the way it makes your clit throb.

When you stiffen under Eddie’s arm, he reads your signal as one of discomfort, tsking at himself underneath his breath before starting to pull away. “Sorry, sweetheart, didn’t mean to make you-”

“No!” Your hand darts out to grab at his over your shoulder, keeping him from leaving, because if the warmth of his body pressed to your side stops you might actually die. “No, it’s not you. I promise. It’s me. I’m…”

Eddie watches you with mild concern as you flounder, mouth opening and shutting a few times before settling on just the truth- “I’m ovulating.”

He blinks. “Um. Shit. Do you need to go to the doctor? ‘Cuz the main office is definitely closed this time ‘a night but the ER is for sure open-”

You bend at the waist, pitching forward with a groan and cutting him off. With hot cheeks buried in your hands, your voice comes out muffled- “Didn’t you take sex ed, like, three times?”

“Sure did. Learned basic anatomy real well.” His palm has slid to your lower back, your shirt ridden up to expose a stripe of skin that his warm hand now rests on. “Help me out, princess. What’s goin’ on?”

With a pounding heart, you manage to sit up, looking down at your hands in your lap as you whisper, “Ovulation makes me, like, super horny.”

At first, you think he didn’t hear you, but after a beat of silence there’s a subtle shift in his posture, spine straightening.

“Oh.” Eddie’s hand on you doesn’t move but his other one smoothes down the line of his jean-clad thigh, clearing his throat before asking, “And do you wanna… do something about that?”

Mustering courage, you swivel slightly to look at him- the joking tone from earlier has drained out of his voice, and this is the shyest you’ve ever seen him: staring unseeing at his own lap, plucking at the knee of his jeans.

“Like what?” You ask, matching the same low tone he’s just used.

When Eddie looks back at you, that’s when you realize your mistake- his lack of eye contact wasn’t due to shyness. The way he’s looking at you now, dark chocolate eyes holding a steady gaze, it’s a wonder he’s been so restrained this whole time. 

“Could eat you out. Only if you wanted, though.”

You shiver. Visibly. 

A slow, half-tilted smile pulls at Eddie’s lips; he brings your free hand to his face and kisses your knuckles, then tugs you up with him to stand.

“C’mon. Let’s go to the bedroom.”

Cast in soft lamplight, Eddie closes the door to his room before cupping your face in his hands, cool rings against your cheeks. He kisses you gently, at first, plush lips notching in steady rhythm against yours; when you tug him in closer by his waist and slip your tongue between his teeth, he groans into your mouth.

He pulls away, wet click of your separating mouths loud in the quiet of the room before giving your hip a light tap. “Up on the bed, angel.”

You’re quick to comply, crawling backwards on the duvet, lust unfurling in your stomach as you rest half-propped on your elbows.

Eddie divests himself of his shirt in one fluid motion without taking his eyes from you. His pale skin gleams in the low light, silver chain and guitar pick necklace swinging as he moves to hover over you.

“You okay?” He asks, dark hair a curtain around both your faces as his bare torso presses against your clothed one. 

When you nod, he ducks to kiss you again before sliding a hand up your shirt. “Good. ‘Cuz I don’t think I could stop even if I wanted to.”

You know he’s mostly joking- you and him have a safeword, and he’s always attentive to your body signals- but the pure desire that he’s kissing and touching you with is indicative of a boy who’s waited too long to be able to have you like this.

Eddie laps at your mouth, tongue twining with yours as his hand squeezes and molds the fat of your breast through your bra as both your nipples stiffen in response. When his knee slots between your thighs, you moan, hips jolting up to chase the friction.

“Can I…” you’re panting, forehead crushed to Eddie’s as you search for the words. “I want your mouth, on me- please.”

You’re rarely ever so communicative, usually hidden away behind a wall of reservations that are totally melted away now. Eddie makes a noise like he’s been punched, sucks at a spot behind your ear that causes your hips to rock forward again, then says, “Yeah, sweetheart, yeah. You can have my mouth. Fuck.”

While he kisses down the slope of your neck, between your clothed breasts, your bare stomach where your shirt’s been rucked up, he’s muttering (to himself, to you, hard to say): “‘Course you can have my mouth. Have it wherever you want it. Christ. Should’a asked for it sooner. Give you anything you want.”

Eddie pops the button on your jeans and you lift your hips so he can pull them completely off your body; when he sees the wet patch of arousal darkening your baby blue underwear he chokes out another curse before working the fabric down your hips and tossing them to the ground.

“Gonna let me taste you, baby?” he asks, stretching his lower half out on the mattress and pulling your legs over his shoulders, his mouth inches from your soaked core. Eddie looks up at you, face bracketed by your thighs, pupils blown out with desire, waiting for your go-ahead.

“Please,” you murmur, stretching out a hand to pet at the crown of his head.

His eyes flutter shut for a moment with your touch; when he presses a kiss to the top of your cunt, your hand tightens in his hair, his resulting hum of encouragement vibrating against your clit.

Eddie flattens his tongue and licks a wide stripe up your folds, spreading the wetness from your leaking hole up to mouth sloppily at your clit; when he sucks the bundle of nerves into his mouth, your elbow supporting your half-propped frame gives out and you pitch back against the covers.

“There- ah- shit, there, Eddie…” you sound wrecked already, voice husked with the strain of holding back whines. Normally, you’d be so in your head about the exposing condition you’re in, but at this point you’re too wound up to care, Eddie’s tongue against the beating heart of you coaxing that tightness in your stomach closer and closer to snapping.

His nails bite in where his hands span the width of your thighs, holding you against his mouth even as your legs tremble and hips twist jerkily with each sweep of his tongue; Eddie gives one last suck to your clit then follows the line of your cunt down, down with his tongue to prod at your sodden entrance.

When his tongue slides into you with a wet squelch, obscenely loud in the otherwise quiet room, you both moan in tandem- your hand in his hair tightens to near-brutal, and the bed underneath you both tremors with the jolt of Eddie’s hips rutting into the mattress.

He sets a steady pace with his tongue, fucking it in and out of you as his nose nudges against your clit. That coil in your stomach is starting to make all your muscles tense up, your thighs locking Eddie in place (who seems to only be spurred on with each constriction of your body).

“Gonna come?” The lower half of his face is coated in your slick as he takes a brief pause to kiss at your inner thigh, one hand coming to rest on your tummy, pinning you down. “C’mon, baby. Let me see it.”

Your body obeys, tension snapping as his mouth returns to your cunt, a high whine of “Eddie Eddie Eddie” that you don’t bother to hide this time loosening from your throat as everything around you bursts and crashes into orgasm.

Toes curling against Eddie’s lower back, cunt spasming around his tongue, Eddie fucks you through it and then some, his own hips mindlessly grinding down as your release triggers his own, spilling warm into his boxers while your high spirals out.

When the spams of your pleasure turn over into aftershocks, Eddie comes up for air, pressing one last kiss to your overstimulated cunt before crawling up your body to lie on top with his head in the crook of your neck.

“Fuck,” you say aloud to the ceiling, breathless, arms automatically encircling the boy. “Holy shit.”

“I’ll say.” Eddie’s breath cools over the sticky patch he kissed into your skin, his mouth still wet with your release. He gathers enough energy to plant his elbows on either side of your head, looking down at you, suddenly serious. “So um… how often do you get ovi- ovel… like this? Once a year or somethin’?”

The laugh shakes out of your chest before you can stop it; you reach up to tuck Eddie’s curls behind his ears, your previous bashfulness having been tongue-fucked out of you.

“Eddie Munson, do I have news for you.”

#lu’s anons #e.m. thots from lu #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson smut #eddie x inexperienced!reader #eddie munson x you

[jeankirsteinsgrlfrnd]

How would the aot boys react if they heard a rumor that reader has a crush on them

i heard a rumor….

eren jaeger is so nosey when he hears the rumor going around. he’s intrigued by your crush on him and he wants to know every little detail, of course by everyone else and not you. he gathers everyone’s opinion and saves you for last. he doesn’t beat around the bush; he tells you he knows that you’re crushing hardcore on him. he’s playful and witty, trying to get you all flustered.

armin arlert, bless his heart, tries to be cool about it. and he does a fairly good job you think. he often finds ways to get you two alone but he never makes a bold move. he asks if he can help you do things, tries to find common interests, etc. you know he knows because you find him trying to spend too much time with you, not that you’re complaining. he just lets things take their course.

jean kirsteins plays the disinterested, too-cool-for-you character. he’s damn good at it too. his actions and short replies hurt your ego and your heart. so, you give him the same treatment back. this, he’s not a fan of. he demands that you tell him why you’re treating him like this and you respond that you’re just dishing out what he is. that makes him go ‘oh’ and it results in a very around the bush way of telling you he has some sort of feelings for you but he was trying to repress it.

connie springer grins from ear to ear for days end when he hears the news. he was already crushing on you big time and now that you like him back, he’s convinced your soulmate. shamelessly, connie asks (it’s more of a statement) that you go on a date. you cant believe he knows. you want to just disappear when he confronts you but he doesn’t understand why. “am i coming on too strong? hold on, i can get weak in the knees real quick.”

levi ackerman acts like he doesn’t know about your feelings for him. his behavior isn’t much different than when he didn’t know- his eye’s just tend to linger on you a bit longer. his gaze makes you feel…violated. it’s like he’s looking right through you or undressing you with his eyes. hard to tell. he continues driving you crazy in various subtle ways until you can’t take it anymore and wind up confessing at him in a ‘why are you doing this to me’ moment. he just laughs.

reiner braun's interest is piqued, that's for sure. he's not so smooth about it, always turning into a flustered mess when he's around you. you, now beginning to panic he knows your secret, turn into a shorter flustered mess. your awkwardness makes all your friends laugh and they just tease you more, which causes more stuttering and the cycle repeats. eren's the one who finally sets you up, not able to bare any more of reiner's incoherence.

bertholdt hoover makes the brave decision of telling you how he feels. he doesn't pick the greatest time. he tells you in front of all your friends and that leaves you feeling a little pressured. so, you get up and drag him away from everyone. the two of you share a raw confessional in peace and quiet. it leaves your heart full.

zeke jaeger texts you as soon as eren tells him. he doesn't wait for any more clarification. the text reads, heard you're basically in love with me. I'll pick you up later: a man of his word, he comes and picks you up. you try to him he's ridiculous but he knows you're his future wife.

erwin smith does his best to avoid you. a crush is meaningless to him.but fuck, the way you look at him makes his heart stop. he's beginning to think that there's something wrong with him- he can't breathe when you're around him. one night, he has too much wine to drink and accidentally lets it slip that he knows. he decides he doesn't care anymore and kisses you on the forehead, leaving you confused about the way he feels about you.

porco galliard's too fucking cocky. he starts spreading the rumor himself once he gets wind of it. he tells everyone he knows, bragging about it over and over. the rumor makes it's way back to you and you want to cry. so, that's what you do. you know everyone knows, so he must know. porco catches you crying and is upset with himself for spreading it. he didn't know you'd be so embarassed, considering he ‘obviously feels the same way’

please go read my jean fic 🤍

#eren jaeger #eren yeager #eren yeager x reader #eren jaeger x reader #jean kirstein #jean kirstein x reader #connie springer x reader #levi ackerman #levi ackerman x reader #connie springer #erwin smith x reader #erwin smith #porco galliard #zeke jaeger #zeke jaeger x reader #zeke yeager x reader #armin arlert #armin arlert x reader #reiner braun #reiner braun x reader #attack on titan #attack on titan fanfiction #aot headcanons #aot smut #aot fanfiction #snk headcanons #attack on titan headcanons #aot fluff #aot x reader #aot fanfic

[louvemione]

illicit affairs — d. malfoy (y/n's pov)

synopsis : draco malfoy and astoria greengrass are destined to be together, so why does malfoy end up in someone else's arms all the time? specifically, in your arms.

warning/s : angst, fluff if you squint, a bit 🤏 suggestive, swear words here and there, no voldy au 🙅‍♀️, written in first person, not really cheating bc draco n astoria are not dating, pretend that there's only a 1 year age gap between Astoria & Draco

author's note : illicit affairs by taylor swift! i will most definitely write a part two of this 😎

make sure nobody sees you leave

hood over your head, keep your eyes down

third year

Draco Malfoy and Astoria Greengrass. a perfect pair, really. they're destined to end up in each other's arms by the time they finish Hogwarts, they're destined to spend the rest of their lives together and no one was to get in between them.

not even me

I stared at the top of my four-poster bed, nights like this always had me wondering, why am I doing this? why did I even get into this relationship, if you can call it one, that was bound to end within the next few years? why am I risking everything for someone who would end up in someone else's arms? why am I making promises with someone who will fulfill those with someone else?

my head always spiraled with a list of why's. why am I doing this to myself?

the only time I'd stop is when he finally knocks on the door and I'll quietly slip out of my blankets, making sure not to wake my roommates up, slip on my robes and take his hand to spend the rest of the night giggling and trying not to get caught by Filch or Mrs. Norris.

and the cycle repeats itself the following day.

tell your friends you're out for a run

you'll be flushed when you return

fourth year

"wait! I don't know how to.." Harry stopped mid-sentence, too embarrassed to do so. I snickered as I lead him to the dance floor where the other champions along with their partners stood, "you'll be fine, just follow my lead"

I had fun dancing and laughing with Harry Potter, so much fun that I had nearly forgotten about the fact that Draco and Astoria came to the ball as each other's date.

if Draco and Astoria weren't dancing so close to us, I might've completely forgotten about it.

"you look gorgeous" Draco whispers the words that were meant for Astoria, only for her to hear.

I ended up spending most of my time at the yule ball with Harry and his friends as I tried to avoid Draco and Astoria at all costs.

but my attempts of avoiding him was soon washed down the drain because a graze of Draco's hand against my waist was all it took for me to excuse myself, "hey, uh, I had so much fun with you guys but I'll just go get some air. it's getting kind of cramped here"

when we returned, even if I was back with the trio who was by the way asking why I looked flushed, I see the smirks Pansy and Daphne sent in my direction when they saw Draco's flushed cheeks and lipstick stain on his lips.

take the road less traveled by

tell yourself you can always stop

lie. everyone knew it's a lie when we said, "we can stop this anytime we want"

because if we can, he wouldn't be in my dormitory, crying and begging for me to stay. him and I wouldn't be waking up longing for each other's embrace.

because no matter how many times we say it, the truth is we don't want to stop.

that's why we didn't do anything to stop.

what started in beautiful rooms

Draco and I met in our first year, during the sorting ceremony. him and I were both put in Slytherin along some newly met friends.

our little set up started during our third year, by that time I was already knowledgeable of his family's arrangement with the Greengrasses. yet, him and I carried on with this.

ends with meetings in parking lots

and that lead us here.

in front of my dormitory, where he would come and fetch me for our daily late night rebellion.

and that's the thing about illicit affairs

and clandestine meetings and longing stares

illicit. is this considered as an illicit affair?

yeah, probably. he's bound to marry someone else but he's here with me, in the restricted section of the library where we'd cost at least a hundred points off of our house if we get caught.

"i love you" Draco whispered against my nape, arms wrapping around my body to pull me into a back hug as he pressed my back against his chest.

I turned around, leaving the dusty potions book I was holding on the table beside us, "i love you too" I whispered back, our lips inches away before he finally closed the gap.

yes, I consider this an illicit affair. because if it isn't, why would I catch Draco's longing stares whenever his father requested for him to spend more time with his future wife?

it's born from just one single glance

I glanced at Draco just in time for our eyes to meet as I walked past him and Astoria.

that alone was all Draco needed for him to excuse himself from his seemingly clueless future wife.

but it dies, and it dies, and it dies

sixth year

"let's stop"

"you're drunk" Draco carries me to his bed

"I'm serious. let's stop. you're getting married after next school year so why should we carry on with this?"

an uncomfortable silence surrounds the room and my tears were already falling before I could even stop them, "I'm tired, Draco. It's unfair to all of us, we can't keep making promises knowing we won't fulfill them. I should've done this a long time ago. and in fact, we never should have gotten together—"

"so you're regretting it? everything we did together? you wish it never happened?

"yes"

a million little times

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#harry potter #x reader #harry potter x reader #draco malfoy #draco malfoy x reader #draco malfoy x you #draco malfoy x y/n #draco malfoy one shot #draco malfoy angst #draco malfoy fluff #draco x reader #draco x y/n #draco angst #draco fluff #draco one shot #draco malfoy fanfiction #harry potter fanfiction

[hellsgreatestslut]

A little help

summary: you're Vox's assistant and you catch his eye...lets just say you decide to help him out with a little problem in his pants

🎀

You were Vox's assistant, always near him, always helping him. Oh what a sweetheart you are, nodding intently when he talks, responding to him with that smooth voice and doing so much for him. He just can't help but admire you!

At first you were just another employee, he didn't pay a single thought to you outside of if you're useful for him. But with some time his thoughts begun wandering.

It first happened when you started talking to him about all the ways he could make VoxTek even more profitable. At the very start he was listening, it was important talk over all. Yet as minutes passed by his gaze started slipping. It's normal to look at someones lips when they're talking, right? Well, he doesn't usually do that, but it's nothing, really. What about the way your blouse is hugging your tits just perfectly? Shit, he's fucked.

Can you blame him when he started watching you work through the cameras? He does that with everybody! Maybe not to the extent that he does with you, but is it really that important? You just look so gorgeous in that tight skirt, biting your lip while you focus on the screen in front of you.

After some time he watches you outside your work too, he just has to see what his pretty little assistant does outside of working for him. Just don't think too much about the time he let it slip that he knows what drink you always buy at the store, it was just a guess! How does he know that you add two spoons of sugar into your coffee? You told him about it, silly! Don't worry! It's not like he's stalking you!

Months and months pass by and he has a bunch of folders with videos and photos of you. One of you at your house - is it that important how he got it? - another of you at a bar, a video of you talking with some sinner that you call a friend, he has it all.

And by that point right after you leave his office he pulls up all the videos and photos on all this monitors and strokes his cock that got impossibly hard at the way you subconciously leaned in, revealing just the tiniest bit of cleavage. Fuck, he's pathetic.

What's even more pathetic? The fact that it becomes normal with time. He sees you, both of you talk, you leave and he jerks off. Oh, how he wishes he could touch you, but no. He has to stay professional. You're the only person he will be a gentleman to. And what if you act disgusted when you find out what he has been doing? His little obsessed heart won't take it!

One day the cycle repeated, but this time you noticed you left your phone on this desk. So obviously you knock on the door again, but you hear no answer.

-I'm coming in, sir. - You say and open the door, you gasp when you see what's inside.

Your boss looking at a bunch of photos of you with half lidded eyes, groans escaping his lips as he strokes his dick. What a sight. And what a cock. He didn't even hear you, so immersed in his fantasies. Your name slips out in a needy tone. He wants you so bad, no, needs you, that you can't help but close the door behind yourself and come up to him.

-May I help? - You say sweetly, startling him. All the photos of you immidietly dissapear from the screens as Vox frantically tries to get a hold of himself.

-Oh, fuck! W-what are you doing here? - He starts putting on his pants, but you put a hand on top of his, stopping him.

-May I help? - You repeat and it takes a moment for him to catch on.

-Fuck yeah. - He murmurs and only God knows how he hasn't completely overheated by that point.

You sink to your knees and pull his pants down to his ankles. You admire his pulsating dick for a moment before you put your hands around the shaft and stroke it. Vox's fingers tangle themselves in your hair as he moans, his hips bucking into you.

You part your lips and lick the precum on his tip. What a good little assistant you are. You teasingly lick along his shaft before taking him in. His grip on your hair tightens, almost painfully so, yet all you can focus on is him filling up your mouth so perfectly. Second after second your lips inch closer to his balls before finally having him whole inside of you.

-Shit, you feel so good. - Vox mumbles while tears threaten to spill from your eyes. - You definetly did this before.

A small smirk plays on your lips as you hear his words. You slowly begin bobbing your head, fastening the pace as you hear content sounds leaving your boss. The tears finally stream down your cheeks as he bucks his hips into your mouth, his size streching you as your muscles try to accommodate. You feel the hot precum at the back of your throat, your nails digging into his thighs for stability.

You sense him approaching his orgasm, his moans becoming more strained, his movements more erratic as he forces your head up and down faster, using you like a toy.

As the finally cums with a loud groan, your name leaving his lips like a prayer, you make sure to swallow as much of his seed as you can. You finally pull away with a pop, your face reddened and puffy. Vox cups your cheek.

-You did so good, baby, I know you can do it one more time.

#hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel smut #hazbin hotel vox #vox smut #vox x reader #smut #the vees #hazbin hotel vees #slutsderangedthoughts

[iliektehhaxs]

So close, and yet so far

Aka: Johnny finds a new obsession in you.

Pairing: John “Soap” MacTavish/Reader

Rating: 18+

This was heavily inspired by this lovely ghost/reader camgirl fic, so I decided to throw my hat in the ring. I wrote this in two hours with no editing 🥴

You’re a sweet thing, honeysuckle, ambrosia. The kind of sweet that lingers in your mouth and leaves an aftertaste. He guesses that’s why he returns to your stream every day—like honey, and just as sticky. 

Johnny’s bored one day, absentmindedly palming his boxers as he browses for a good video. Not one to be picky, but something about today has him particularly on edge, not quite able to find his release. His usuals just aren’t doing it.

Then he finds an ad for a cam site and sees you on the front page. 

You catch his eye immediately, wondering what a cute lass like you is doing on a site like this. The link takes him to your stream and his cock hardens in his boxers, not quite believing what his eyes see.

You’re a dream in a pair of soft pink panties, the kind of girl he’d never believe would be working as a cam girl unless he saw it for himself. Legs spread, bright pink vibrator buzzing between your legs, nearly in tears as your back arches off the bed. A hoard of men throwing donations at the screen, hoping for your attention.

He watches for a while more, impossibly hard as your legs shake around the toy, writhing in pleasure. In the corner of the screen he sees a message that makes him throb in his hand.

Valentines special! Top donator of the day gets to hear me moan their name! <3

Thank fucking Christ he had his card number memorized.

Within a day he became your top donator, the emptiness of his wallet meaning nothing when it meant he got to see you spread open on camera, rubbing at your pretty cunt while moaning his name, shaking your hips and displaying your wet pussy for him to see.

“Johnny, Johnny—oh god—“

You sound like heaven in his ears, memorizing each and every sound you make when your fingers find your clit and rub. His hand matches your pace, thumb pressing against his leaking slit and nearly drooling when you grind yourself against your hand with his name on your lips.

You’re beautiful like this, makes him wish he could actually touch you. His cock twitches at the thought, groaning when he reaches down and plays with his balls in tandem.

A day to remember, he swears he’s never come that hard before. His head falls back, not giving a damn if his neighbors hear how loud he moans your name when his cum splashes on his stomach. It drips from his fingers, the slick of it echoing in the room as he vigorously strokes himself through his orgasm. His arm burns with exhaustion, the head of his cock blooming red, so sensitive it becomes damn near painful and yet he doesn’t stop, not until he sees your pretty cunt gush over your fingers. 

You make a mess of yourself, and so does Johnny. The cycle repeats the next day, when he returns for another session. This becomes a regular habit. 

You’re a constant in his life, the moment you go live he’s always the first to join. His pretty bird, his girl. There’s a possessiveness that seeps into every message he sends, lighting up when you read each one and get flustered at the sight. He can tell you’ve never been treated how you aught to be, can see it in the way your legs squeeze together with every donation. 

So he sends you a private message after a month, anxious for your response.

How much for a private session?

And when you give him a price, he’s over the fucking moon. The amount didn’t matter to him, just as long as he got to see you.

Truly a shame he thinks, his little bird going so long without a real man to take care of you. But it’s okay, because now he can lavish you with the attention you’ve needed for so long.

You seem so shy in private, so demure. He knows better of course, has an entire folder on his laptop of you being anything but a fucking angel, but it still shocks him how innocent you seem.

Hands adjusting your outfit, every detail fiddled with until it’s perfect, until you’re satisfied with how your lace fits on your body. A strap here, a crease there. He admires how well you get dolled up for him.

A message flashes on the screen, fifty dollars lighting up. Your eyes light up at the notification, looking over at the bold letters with a smile.

You look so hot today

Your laughter sounds as sweet as you look. “Thank you! I just bought this set.”

You press your tits closer, presenting them to the camera. “Bought it for you, actually. Do you think it looks nice?”

A siren call, he can’t help but be drawn to the view. Johnny licks his lips at the sight, the ambient light casting a soft glow on your exposed cleavage. It makes him want a closer look.

His fingers move quick as anything, not even looking at the screen, completely focused on your body.

$150: you look more than nice lass. let’s see some more.

Familiarity lights up on your features, groaning at the sight of that subtle little grin spreading across your face.

“Of course Johnny,” you whisper, the sound of his name like a melody between your lips. You adjust your camera closer, grabbing at your breasts. “Is this what you wanted?”

No, what he wants is to replace your hands with his own. What he wants is to bite at the supple flesh with his teeth and rip off the flimsy fabric that hides you away from him. 

His hand strokes against the bulge that grows in his boxers as he sends another donation.

$150: you don’t want to know what I want lass.

He loves the look in your eyes, how your pupils dilate when they read it over once, twice. Your lips caught between your teeth, you pull at your nipple through the fabric as you sigh in relief.

“Always a smooth talker…” you whisper.

He watches you from lidded eyes—makes him wonder how you got to this profession, knowing that some dirty talk is enough to have you squirming on camera.

Imagine if he was actually in the room with you, the things he’d say. The things he’d do.

The thought leaves him breathless. One day he’ll have you all to himself, but for now, he’ll settle for a screen.

#robo writes #call of duty #call of duty smut #john mactavish #john mactavish x reader #john mactavish smut #John soap mactavish #john soap mactavish x reader #johnny soap mactavish #John soap mactavish smut #soap x reader #soap smut #personally he’s not obsessed enough for my taste but IM LAZY XOXO #Johnny soap mactavish x reader #Johnny soap mactavish smut

[austinsastrology8991]

> Saturn ASPECTS < and why you ain't getting the respect you deserve Saturn puts you in shitty cycles/ patterns to make you; by breaking you > and when you inevitably return to these struggles, you'll realise you've mastered his circuits

yes i had break, im back now. so get over it.

Saturn aspecting Sun - loosen up. but everytime you do, something else fucks up. so now your the most rigid person. its hard to have a good time with yall, because you take things so seriously, but damn do you exceed when shit needs to be taken seriously - because your so careful in your movements 🚶‍♂️. they tend to have a habit of stating the obvious then smirking about it, which is so confusing because like we all knew that, but why you acting like you did something? this type of shit is why people struggle to chill around you, but ill ask for your advice about real shit because your obsessed with being an authority and like thats the only way to approach you guys without getting iced by you Saturn aspecting Moon - Stop crying. oh wait i meant to say; start crying. jesus you got some fucked up villainous back story but your stone walling everyone because it hurts too much to even open up to anyone. because i mean whats the point? if everyone is just going to tell you "its going to be okay" when you never feel okay. feels bad man, and you know better than most how bad feels.. man.. so i guess saturn wants you to accept how cruel the world is, and how that affects everyone, so you are more prepared for bad circumstances then most. hardly a positive spin, ik.. but its to prepare you for your future. and you have no idea why you must go through so much pain - but there is a reason, and it will become clear later, so better utilize that energy to your benefit; because its just another one of saturns bitch cycles

Saturn aspecting Mercury - when you speak, people try there best to one up you, but your a master at it by now > passive aggressive, or authoritative - who gives a fuck if you belittle the other person, because i mean if your right, then you right. so better off writing it into reality, rather than watch everyone clown around with the wrong answers. but speaking ths way to others, really does make it hard to talk to you, even if you right, your just a fkn asshole. so honestyl. stop trying to figure out the right answer, and think about whats the right thing to say. stop pretending to be an authoritative speaker if no one even wanna listen to you, and start owning what you say more. Saturn aspecting Venus - joecly flores on repeat. okay i get it. you dont believe in love, because you see it how it is. well. its not actually how it is. youve ruined all your chances of anyone ever gonna love you because you think being all cold and mysterious is attractive (and it can be) but i mean who tf wanna love someone like that. its like riding a bike uphill. i mean i dont wanna do that. like these people are always attractive, but their attitude is so hard to ignore, its like trynna make a spider smile. thats why people reject you more than anythng else. and Ik that your just trying to find the real ones, but guess what, everyone that ever talked to you/ flirted with you, liked you.... oh thats too shallow or optimistic? my bad Saturn aspecting Mars - I never do anythng right ;(((((( well you actually do a lot right, but your always doing too much. your so obssessed with perfection and being a high achever that you've forgotten everything you've achieved becayse your so focused on the next one. if you just reflected on how much you work; in comparison to most, youd realize you are big achiever, and you dont understand reality as well as you think. well okay you do undersatnd reality extremely well (because you try so damn hard lol) but you've lost your sense of self because you still dont think your worth it till you achieve the next thing- hence the cycle of working yo ass off - but hey you'll achieve a lot, you just need to perfect your perfectionistic tendencies -then youll finally be perfect! (get it) Saturn aspecting Jupiter - i think this aspect is one of the coldest. because these people try so hard, but get no where for the majority of their life. till they change perspectives and realize if they try harded else where, they'd get launched into success. i mean the amount of people who are successful - and i mean hugely successful > have this aspect - and everytime it was due to massive luck. however only they could grasp the 'lucky' opportunity, and that initself makes their achievements so much cooler than others. remember its jupiter, so all your 'hardships' inevitably become your greatest 'luck'. the white guy from 'sean of the dead' has this, and look at how much he impacted movies in general... jus saying mad props to that guy and to yall

Saturn aspecting Uranus - okay these guys are outcasted from society hard, due to some bullshit, but when they get recasted back into civilization they become someone who can change society at large- but its gonna take so much work... their perspective has been molded differently to most because they've been alone for so long. they have strange ideas that somehow work into tangible assets. perfect example : eminem - i mean hes basically best case scenario with this aspect, but hey why not try for best case scenario? but then again he made that hamster song... so i mean not always best case scenario... THats the price of neglect you could say lmao. Saturn aspecting Neptune - your imagination is your greatest challenge but also the key to your ultimate glory. like Michael Jordan had this aspect and well he was hella delusional. until he wasnt.... but its hard to say how much this benefited him... because both stages of his life - pre glory - and; glory - he was heavily isolated from everyone, and (likely) suffered in seclusion, by placing so much importance on his dreams. saturn wants you to master the 'spiritual world' i.e. imagination and dreams, and this causes anxiety that their dreams will just be dreams. which is what makes them put so much effort into it becoming real... then they realize the price of it all when its too late. so just make sure your aware of what your manifesting because if anyone can make it, its you. (achieving ur dreams) Saturn aspecting Pluto - how powerless do you feel. you do realize people can see how thirsty you are for respect/power, because they can sense your insecurity from past exepriences, and thats why your easy to play with. but do not worry. you will attain true power with enough effort. not just a bullshit image of power. because you've been pushed into the most vile trials to have ever have existed, and its only so that when you become someone powerful, you utilize your power properly, and do not step on others, because you know damn well how much it hurts to be stepped on. so your power is > saturn. your trials are so intense, and you're basically broken, but things that are broken know how to cut others (like broken glass). and well saturn wants you to master this > pluto > the darkness. and it makes reaching the top so much more palpable, because you'd feel like you earnt it. but you can make others insecure about what youve overcame so you better be humble, or saturn will fuck you. no honour among thieves, and we know you experienced that, but the kings play different, and you gotta adapt or saturn will flatten you.

#astrology #astrology blog #astro community #astrology observations #astrology notes #astrology placements #astrology aspects #saturn aspects #astro observations

[melonminnie]

How about Planotic Yandere Claude x Daughter reader (who's the FL's twin sister) who is secretly living through her fifth life while she never got executed she always took her own life after her sister died because a life without her sister isn't a life worth living. She hates Claude with a passion and even when he starts to pay attention to his twins. She makes a point of never ever calling him Father or Dad and only refers to him as his Highness or Claude when talking about him. She is very suspicious of his intentions when he starts being nice to them. And while she does say "Thanks". She never ever accepts anything from him. Eventually this results in Claude begging his youngest twin daughter to call him Father Or Dad and she yells at him " WHY SHOULD I LOVE YOU WHEN YOU'VE NEVER EVER EVER LOVED US? HELL YOU BLAME US FOR MOM'S DEATH CLAUDE. EVERY TIME I HAVE COME BACK I WAS HOPING THAT MAYBE JUST MAYBE YOU HAD CHANGED AND YOU DESTROY THEM WITH EASE BY MURDERING MY TWIN SISTER AND THEN PROBABLY LAUGHING AT MY DEATH WHEN I TAKE MY LIFE. CAN'T YOU JUST GO BACK TO ACTING LIKE WE DON'T EXIST? YOU HAVE DONE IT UP UNTIL THIS POINT. CLAUDE PLEASE JUST GO." And Claude at first confused and concerned has a doctor check on his daughters and then reads a book which explains what's happening to reader. Claude realizing how many his other selfs screwed up and he winds up be coming super overprotective and Possessive of the twins and basically locks them away, promising to protect them from everythimg and everyone.

Two puppets (Yan!Claude x fem! Reader) platonic

-Tysm for requesting mwah!! Appearance is the same as athy ^^

The girl stared at the ceiling once again, This scene was almost too familiar to begin with.

She sighed as if she’d gone threw this a million times which she had, this being her fifth life by now.

In each life she’d take her own after her twin sister would get executed, See y/n truly did adore her twin so much so that she couldn’t live without her.

In her first life she’d let it happen, then realized there was no meaning if she wasn’t around.

In her second life, she tried defending the princess, she’d gotten put in jail for trying to frame the imperial family. Then she committed suicide

In her third life she tried running away it didn’t work, it got repeated and she committed once again.

In her fourth life, she committed after she found out.

it was the same cycle again and again, the only thing she was thankful for in those lives was she got relive the happy moments with her sister over and over again.

the girl never once thought of blaming her sister for her own death, in fact in every life she’d blame her father, someone who was okay with murdering his own child over one who isn’t his to begin with.

She knew he probably laughed at her when he looked at her grave, If he ever even went. She knew he probably even laughed when he found out that she committed.

Saying that the princess hated him would be an understatement, she wished he’d burn suffer threw everything she’d been forced to go threw. Only then would she try to forgive the man.

“Athy stop running!” The blonde begged chasing after her sister, her short legs were getting her nowhere at this point.

from exhaustion the girl fell to the ground crying in her head mentally, she heard footsteps, “Y/n what’s wrong?” She tilted her head helping up her sister.

“You’re going to fast!” She cried, she clung onto her chest, Athanasia stared down at the girl.

“okay then we will walk!” She declared holding onto Y/ns hand and moving forward.

Athy at first was quite irritated by how clingy y/n was but she had gotten used to it, she’d adjusted her plan into the two of you running away when you two were older instead.

As usual you were looking out incase anyone was wondering why two toddlers were out.

“Athy do we go no-” for a split second you turned your attention to your sister who was biting gold, quickly you ran to her and scolded the blonde but before you could finish.

A shadow was cast upon the two of you upon looking at who it was, this hadn’t happened in any timeline prior to this.

You wanted to run away no you could, but your body wasn’t allowing you in the slightest, all you could do was stare at the blonde man who’s name was Claude de alger obelia, Who had gemstones for eyes, who was also your father the emperor.

What’s he doing here?, the girl though anxiously, this had never happened before, nor was her sister acting like in the past timelines but she never questioned it.

In fact she’d never actually seen the man, she’d heard about him, but she’d never seen him face to face.

“What is this?are they bugs take them away” the man demanded, y/n peered at her sister nervously realizing she had the same expression as her.

The gold coins and diamonds quickly fell to the ground make loud noises as they hit they hit the marble floor, it was noticeable in the silence making it even more awkward.

after a while he finally spoke again, “those faces I’ve seen them before” he sneered, “was it that dancer from siodonna?, you look like her” he added in the same tone.

When that scene ended, you could barely remember what happened or how you ended up in the emperors office seated next to your sister.

The blonde glanced around the room in suspicion, was he planning on murdering you in front of your sister? Why were you infront of him.

“Athy can talk” Y/n heard her sister speak she turned her attention back to her, right she wasn’t paying attention so what was this conversation even about? Was he about to murder Athanasia because he thought she turned out mute?.

after a while, y/n knew this was all an act from the way her sister was acting. But she didn’t bother speaking not like he was speaking to her anyway.

“I ordered them to bring out something kids would like” he spoke, noticing either of you were eating the food. “If you don’t eat I will have no choice but to punish the cook” he threaten his eyes trained on the two of you like you were animals.

“Thank you for the food!” Athanasia yelled stuffing her mouth with the deserts on the table. You swore you saw a tear fall down her face.

“And you why aren’t you eating?” He questioned, “I’ll eat later…” the girl responded, “thank you for the food your majesty” she added, She could feel Athanasia stare at her with a confused look.

it was left at that, the rest you erased from your memory, once the two of you returned you clung onto one of the maids legs and started crying.

Later that night, Felix came and informed the maids that you two would have tea together every day.

Claude soon found out the difference between the two of you, though you were twins you had shorter hair than her and more quiet, your existence was barely noticeable unless people payed attention.

Athy called claude her father, while you couldn’t even look at him without feeling disgusted in someway. The only thing anyone other than Athanasia was able to coax you into saying was “okay or thank you”. Anyone who wasn’t aware would assume your the older twin based on how you’d act, but Athy knew it was an act.

Everyone shrugged it off as you liking Athanasia more due to you two growing up together.

Once the emperor decided to give you a gift, Exactly to test your reaction. But it was the same. you’d thank him and never use the gift or wear it again. To say that he was irritated would be an understatement, this was the first emotion he’d shown other than his creepy smile.

He’d tried to find an answer as to why his youngest hated him with a passion, but he couldn’t find one he’d let you be and never irritate you once.

Every once in a while he’d ask her the question.

“Why won’t you call me father at least?”

“Why don’t you call me papa I thought younger siblings like copying their older siblings”

Once he resorted to some sort of begging watching your normal expression change into shock.

To say you’d had enough was an understatement, Each and every movement of his every word he’d spoke was irritating.

So the last time he’d opened his mouth and muttered out the saying you finally lost it.

“Why do you care” the girl asked her voice lower than a whisper, “what?” He responded clearly asking you to speak up.

“Why do you suddenly act as if you care do you think buying all this jewelry and junk would make us happy after you blamed us for our mothers death knowing she’d want us to be here you broke your promise with her all because you couldn’t handle losing her! You took it out on us and now you want waddle your way back into my life and bribe us with gifts? You want to kill Athy again like you always do you wanna murder her and make her regret being born when she did nothing! You’d probably laugh at me after I die again wouldn’t you? Life was better when you didn’t even know our names nor our looks I hate you I hate you so much words can’t describe it you’re not my father and you’ll never be! I hate you Claude I hate you with my entire soul”

the emperor was confused, Shocked maybe he stared at her speechless, he turned his attention to one of the servants in the room.

“Call the physician my daughter isn’t well” he spoke, the servant quickly scrabbling around.

“Your daughter seems just fine, your highness just make sure she drinks more water” he reassures leaving the room.

Still even with the rpm doctor confirming it, he couldn’t shake off this feeling that there was something off. From the way you said those words to be exact.

So he ordered Felix to bring him every book known about magic or sickness, he soon found out the reason.

Reincarnation, something that was told to be a myth, he believed a hundred percent that was what happened to you, it was uncanny because you aren’t dead, nor is your sister dead.

Although he doesn’t know how many lives you’ve had or how you even reincarnated, he knew that all of his past lives were why you were so wary of him.

He’d made a promise with himself that day, a promise that till the day he dies he’d keep you safe.

“Where are you going?” The blonde questioned his daughter, “Garden” she responded, without a word he picked her up and drew further away from the garden.

“Your hi-”

”From now on.. The second princess of obelia will only be allowed when requested if I find her out her room without it being brought to me first I’ll hang your heads on the palace walls. The same goes for the first princess” he declared his eyes fixated on the girl.

“Because as long as I’m alive nobody will be allowed to hurt you”

I had a lot of fun writing the request ntg‼️‼️Hope u enjoyed reading pookies 😍💕💕

#-Azuwritess #wmmap x reader #wmmap fanfic #wmmap #wmmap athanasia #wmmap claude #who made me a princess #yandere manhwa x reader #platonic yandere #claude x reader #claude de alger obelia x you

[iamthat-iam]

after reading through your posts and other non-dualism blogs i realised that when i was in loa, i struggled so much to manifest as i kept seeking validation from the 3D more than my imagination as i kept relying on my human body, the 5 sense for validation. if i didn't see it in the 3D/ experience it with my 5 senses i would automatically be like "oh i don't see it" then i either continue affirming and persisting or do SATS fulfilling my inner man, or other loa methods. and the cycle repeats again. it's like i know the knowledge i know exactly how to apply but due to the fact that i couldn't stop relying on my human senses to determine what is "real" and what is not. it's so automatic and that's the reason why i was stuck in the cycle and i couldn't get out or actually persist for goodness sake as some point in time id be like "okay this is not working ill try something else" then came the void obsession. i would try so many methods just to get into the void and manifest my desires. affirm, persist, fulfill the inner man, seek validation from my 5 senses and then start all over again and it never stops. everyone keeps saying that the 3D and the 4D are separate which made it even worse as it would be EVEN HARDER to actually see my desires as mine when the physical senses are showing the opposite. no one denies that the physical sense are fake. we are taught that we have every right to feel whatever we want to feel and that our human body is real etc.

then when i left loa and stepped into the non-duality community. it started making so much more sense. everything is an illusion, nothing is real. everything is consciousness/imagination. my trauma, my name, age, height gender etc. NONE OF IT IS REAL. the only thing that is "real" is awareness. even my 5 sense aren't real. so why would i have to rely on it? seek validation from it? i no longer have to "work" to get it in the human experience. NO. there's no affirming to "get" something. there is no "desire". there is no "manifestation". there is no "human body/self/ego/senses" ALL OF IT IS IMAGINARY. self doesn't desire. self has everything. self IS EVERYTHING. there is no "3D" no "4D". these concepts do NOT exist. they are made up and are an illusion. is doesn't make sense to call yourself limitless and then limit yourself to methods, affirm/persist, laws, etc. THERE ARE NO RULES. there is no such thing as "if you don't fulfill yourself, you won't get your desires". desires are from the human ego, the human body-mind has desires. SELF DOES NOT HAVE DESIRES. it doesn't make sense for self to desire when self is everything.

the 5 sense aren't real, never were, never will be. the moment we imagine something it INSTANTLY exists. the reason why we do not "see" is because we identify with the false self/ego hence thinking that it's not real. i remember i saw a non-dualism ig account say this before @infinite.ko.

"You can instantly experience a reality without your 5 senses, only by observing it, if you constantly limit yourself to 5 senses, you will identify with the Body-Mind and go down the "Why isn't it here yet" hole"

the concept of manifestation does not exist. it doesn't make sense. you claim to have all of your "desires" then why do you look else where to search and search for it when it has been within YOU all along? you job was never to affirm 10k times, repeat to saturate your subconscious mind, get into the void to "manifest" or "materialise" your "desires". why would you work so hard to "get" something when all you had to do was realise that it was within YOU the whole time? "manifest", "materialise" only exist because you think that there is a 3D reality for them to show up in. when the truth is, there was no "3D" or "4D" in the first place. there is no imagination VS reality. nothing is real, it has always been illusion VS illusion. your only and ONLY job ever is to simply just OBSERVE. just sit back and watch.

YOU ARE NOT YOUR:

thoughts

feelings

emotions

body

mind

5 senses

YOU ARE AWARENESS ONLY

if you want something simply observe it. imagine it. that's it. once you imagined it you already experienced it. as the observer and awareness you are not even supposed to put in the bare effort to get anything. NOT EVEN AN OUNCE OF IT. why on earth would you want to experience it with the physical senses when you are just the observer and you can experience it by just observing? the physical senses are an illusion. "manifestation" was supposed to be effortless and easy, but the idea of our "thoughts" and "states" manifest and we are supposed to change them is just TOO MUCH. there is nothing to change just observe/imagine/be aware.

if anytime you get thoughts like "why is it not here" "why don't i see it" "why hasn't it manifested yet" you are immediately identifying with your human self. as your true self/ nature would NEVER think/ even say such things. it would simply OBSERVE.

credits to all the non-dualism blogs out there, i couldn't thank you enough for teaching us this. thank you <333

@msperfect777 @lains-reality @consciousnessbaddie @awarenessis @luvcompass @infinite.ko (on ig)

That is so true!! Relying on the human senses will always be our downfall, we can affirm and persist, apply states, do SATS, script, or any method we want, but if we can't accept that it's DONE ALREADY, then it's all for nothing! It really is a vicious cycle.

I'm also guilty of jumping from method to method, I got the most "results" from affirming and persisting, but I wasn't "getting" my "big" manifestations, so I switched to states, which did nothing but stress me out 😂 with the 3D and 4D being separate, fulfilling the "inner man" like it's too much.

Non dualism has given me all the clarity and peace I had been searching for since 2019 when I found law of attraction. I am so happy that myself and other bloggers were able to help you on your journey as well 🥹🫶🏾 I am so happy that you are now in a better place and are out of the cycle of trying to "manifest" and "get things". Such a stressful way to live.

#non dualism #law of assumption #law of consciousness #nondualism

[anxiousdreamcore]

May I humbly asks for your interpretation/opinion/view of the Spider & Quaritch as well as the Spider & Sullies relationships/dynamics ?

Sure! I’ve complained about how my opinion of the characters changed throughout the year of being engaged in the fandom so I might as well share! 🤭

Spider: An audacious, frat-boy-ish teen who stinks of dirt, sweat and will eat a live bug to gross you out. Kiri said that he bites and she was 100% honest because this kid will fling his mask off and tear into your throat if you mess with his baby siblings 😤 at the same time, he’s more than capable of being responsible and gentle, especially when it comes to Pandora, its wildlife and cultures, all of which are clearly very important to him. A menace with a heart of gold and an iron fucking will, untameable. Unbreakable. No authority scares him.

Quaritch: A man so damaged he can’t be repaired. He’s seen too many horrors, killed too many people, watched too many comrades die, has been infected with too much poison. It runs in his veins and destroys everything he touches…which is precisely why he is only likeable as a father. He has never been one before and that part of him is completely new, not yet damaged. The only part of him not yet tainted by the rotten creature that is the rest of him. A mangy, old army dog that will burn Pandora to the ground if its chain is broken, but will lie down and wag its tail for his child, and only him.

Oh, and he’s mentally ill too, at least to some extent, canonically. It’s not to say that his mental illness makes him a bad guy. No. It’s the lack of care he puts into coping with it that contributes to the dumpster fire that is Miles Quaritch. My personal headcannon is that he needs mood-stabilisers yet regularly skips them.

Spider & Quaritch dynamic: Two outcasts who bond over being isolated by their respective groups. Also, Lima and Stockholm syndrome duo! Quaritch gets an instant liking to Spider that soon grows into fatherly love, as Spider brings out the best in him; his most pure, childish and kind traits. Does the rest of him, the rotten, the poisoned, hate it? Oh, absolutely. But he can’t, won’t stop the wild-child from worming his way deep into his decaying heart. Spider meanwhile battles his own platonic feelings and holds onto his resentment as much as he can. He wants to love Miles but he doesn’t. He loves him but he wishes him an agonising death. He wants to be hugged by him and sink a blade into his chest. He wants Miles to prove him that not all grown ups are rotten and he can still be loved. He wants Miles to love him.

Spider & Sully siblings dynamic: “A family disappointment and local cool stoner to his siblings, who are more than happy to take after him because they think his utter freedom and lack of care for authority is cool” kinda vibe. Will play fight with his siblings and bite their noses before kissing them better and shoving them away. Calls Tuk a little gremlin affectionately. Brings Lo’ak back down to Pandora when he spirals into his insecurities or gets too bold and self-sacrificial. Is platonic soulmates with Kiri and feels a profound connection to her, as she does to him. Resents Neteyam for abandoning their little group to become a "respectable warrior". Wants him back. Wishes things could be like when they were kids.

Spider & Neytiri dynamic: She she sees him as a pesky, dangerous demon child that…that didn’t do anything but stay loyal, through all the torture and horrors. A lot of guilt is present between them after the final battle, and they will definitely have a horrible, explosive argument about it sooner or later, but for now they are content at silently sharing space, at time quipping and taking light jabs at each other, because that is their cycle. Playfulness, fear, resentment, until it all explodes and they scream at each other, then the cycle repeats, fuelled by guilt. Is there a chance to stop it? Will they ever be okay?

Spider & Jake dynamic: Hero worship turned disappointment. Spider idolised him for his status and incredible feats as a child but as he grew, and Jake consistently kept him at an arms length without establishing clear boundaries, the constant pining to have him as a father became a never-ending, aching pain in Socorro’s chest. Jake gave him an empty hope that they might one day be a family, without ever clarifying that it’ll never be true, confusing the boy until he was proved not once, not twice, but thrice, that he isn’t needed, isn’t missed, or loved by Jake. He’s a stray animal, and that is all he’ll ever be to him. He knows better now than to wish for something that can never be…doesn’t even want to. Quaritch might be a horrific monster, but at least he genuinely loves him. He doesn’t need Jake’s pathetic scraps of affection anymore. He doesn’t need him anymore.

•

#atwow #atwow fanfiction #atwow sully family #sully family #atwow jake sully #avatar jake sully #Jake sully #atwow spider #spider socorro #atwow neytiri #neytiri sully #neytiri #avatar 2 #avatar the way of water #avatar loak #lo’ak sully #atwow loak #atwow neteyam #neteyam sully #neteyam #atwow kiri #Kiri sully #atwow quaritch #miles quaritch #recom quaritch #avatar way of water

[rubydubydoo122]

What would be things the batkids would have grievances with Alfred over? It's always about Bruce but the world doesn't revolve around him only, so let's look at another guardian/grandfatherly figure.

I feel like they all would be upset with Alfred for letting Bruce get away with most of the shit he does to them. Like how Alfred's supposed to be the one holding Bruce accountable, but he doesn't. And here's the list from least angry at Alfred to most angry at Alfred

Damian. I don't think Damian realizes how much of Bruce's behavior stems from Alfred being a pushover, and he worships both of them too much to actually see it.

Dick. In those early days, Alfred was the one there for him in a house that was too big, too still, and too empty. He probably started getting angry at Alfred during his early 20s, but then it was just Dick, Damian, and Alfred, and Dick kind of became Bruce, so he had times where he resented him, but he "grew out" of it

Jason. And I think he's only the tiniest bit behind Dick because he's almost pretty much in the same boat. Alfred was the only person there in a house that was too big, and when everything was too much, and compared to this Billionaire, Alfred seemed human to Jason. He probably took comfort in Alfred before he took comfort in Bruce. And then Alfred was the one who suggested Jason should quit Robin. And, maybe for a hot second there, (and I mean, a singular passing thought then never again) he blamed Alfred for his death, but Jason also has a plethora of parental issues, so he wouldn't blame Alfred. And this is assuming Jason is completely unaware of the way Alfred low key Shat on Jason's grave so that Bruce would feel less guilty, or whatever.

Then there's Cass. She's just way too good at reading people to not see the way Alfred's pushover tendencies are effecting the 'family' negatively. She wants to yell at Alfred to "Put his foot down." But she knows he won't, so she doesn't. And In a sense, she might just be the same as Alfred.

Then there's a gap, and Duke. He didn't really know Alfred for that long, if you really think about it. Maybe a year, tops? And the reason he's smack dab in the middle is because sometimes, Bruce will do something and Duke will be like "That... is kinda messed up. Who raised you?" and then he'll take it back bc he'll realize he's speaking ill of the dead.

Tim. I hate woobifying him, but Idk, Alfred was the one who gave Tim Robin. Alfred was the one who gave Damian Robin, and I feel like, Tim, Looking back would think "What the actual fuck. What I was doing as a teenager should've been Alfred's job as Bruce's Guardian" Maybe not currently, but after some time. Maybe when he's in his 20s or has his own kids or something.

Stephanie Brown. She's the Family Friend. She has a slightly outside perspective to all of this, and she's great at puzzles. She Died for Bruce's cause and that didn't stop ANYTHING. She's constantly listening to when any of the batclan members are ranting about Bruce, and his poor coping skills and realizes that it's all just a fucking cycle and it started from Alfred. Alfred was confused on the line of professional and parent and Parented Bruce by being a Butler. Which wasn't what Bruce needed at an 8/9/10 year old who just lost his parents. And that's why Bruce doesn't know how to Parent any of his children without making them some form of a hero. Because Bruce grew up with a boundary of professionalism separating him from any real parenting, and he needs that boundary while parenting his kids. Obviously Bruce has his moments, but those are probably from when he had REAL parents.

Steph tried explaining it to Duke once, and he understood PERFECTLY, but then Duke said not to repeat this to anyone else because they worship the ground Alfred walks on.

#batman #batfam #dc comics #dick grayson #jason todd #damian wayne #duke thomas #bruce wayne #tim drake #stephanie brown #cassandra cain

[theabysss]

Ignore, suppress, indifference, rage, break

summary: You gladly welcomed your journey into Teyvat, the opportunity to talk to your favorite characters, it was so exciting. But for some reason, your intuition screamed about something dangerous with their smile.

warnings: yandere, possessive & obsessive thoughts, religious + cult themes, mentions of sacrifices, the reader has an extremely difficult psychological state, the reader makes a suicide attempt, outburst of rage.

word count: 1.6k

note: I gradually increase the number of words in my texts. Maybe someday I will crawl to a maxi with Dottore. It would be nice.

Everyone was so nice to you, attentive to you, fulfilled any of your desires, although you didn’t much like being considered the Creator, you were definitely an ordinary human, but you tried to ignore this and not argue with them about this. Part of you knew that this would not lead to anything good, so you simply remained silent, not agreeing with them, but not refuting their words either. A quiet whisper of intuition at the edge of consciousness warning you to ignore anything that seems abnormal; a thick, heavy smell of blood lingering behind Child, a merchant who showed insufficient courtesy when you walked with Zhongli, you never saw him again, even if you walked around the market many times, a strange gleam in their eyes, each of the genshin characters when you spoke with them. But gradually, you can no longer pretend to yourself that everything is fine, the beautiful fairy tale about your life in Teyvat slowly begins to crack.

And when a person is sacrificed to you for the first time, before your eyes, relief is mixed with horror and your trembling legs - no more pretense on their part. You peer into the faces of them, but they seem so unfamiliar, not like they were in the game, all honor, nobility and morality simply disappeared, their eyes sparkle with joy, and their lips are curved in smiles at the sight of such a cruel spectacle. You silently scream inside yourself, but do not dare to protest, they will tear you apart if you show the wrong reaction they expect, right? Fear curls up at the bottom of your belly and you stretch your lips into a trembling smile. They come up to you and ask if this sacrifice is enough for you or should they offer you more? To which you hastily dismiss, saying that this is quite enough. Zhongli, who calls himself your most faithful follower, shakes his head in disappointment, saying that you do not have to be so modest, because they are ready to give you everything and even more, and the rest joyfully pick up his words. You are the only normal person at this monster festival, but for how long?

One bloody sacrifice after another, in an endless scarlet maelstrom. Until you stop reacting, the sight is so familiar that it does not evoke any emotion. To follow with an indifferent glance the next unfortunate human who is being led to the slaughter. But the fear inside of you only becomes greater, that if they realize that you are not who they think you are, not their Grace. How cruel and sad will be the fate that befalls you? These thoughts torment you, do not let you sleep at night, make you restlessly spinning, crushing silk sheets, exhausted to look at the ceiling of your luxurious room, which should not belong to you. Impostor. Impostor. Impostor. Endless tocsin resounds in your ears, pathetic fake.

You want them to leave you alone, you don't want to see any of them. Worried questions from your so-called followers about your well-being are not at all reassuring, you lie every time through clenched teeth. During the day, play the role of the Creator, smile and praise, no matter how cruel they would be, and at night weep quietly into your pillow, from despair that has settled in your very bones. A cycle that repeats over and over again, smiles followed by tears. You feel your sanity slowly slipping through your fingers like grains of sand in the sea. Life seems disgusting.

Gradually, sharp objects begin to attract your attention, the gaze lingers on them longer each time. Or maybe you could just throw yourself off one of the high peaks in Liyue? If you cut your own throat right now, it's all over, right? No more suffering, fear, pretense. There will no longer be a need to play the role that has been thrust upon you. It is better to end your suffering personally, quickly, than when they realize that you are not who they think you will be subjected to terrible torture, you have seen what cruelty they were capable of.

The blade of the knife glitters enticingly in the moonlight, you fascinatedly run your finger along the edge and a drop of blood appears on the fingertip. Getting the knife was not so difficult, as if fate itself blessed you, confirming that this was the only way to escape from this hell. You take one last look around your chambers, take one last deep breath, and in one sharp movement, cut your own throat. It hurts, it hurts so much blood splashes out of the wound in jolts, staining everything scarlet. You wheeze helplessly, blood bubbles on your lips, vision darkens and blurs. But in spite of all this, in your last seconds, you are smiling.

The awakening is abrupt, as if you were doused with ice water, out of the corner of your eye you notice Baizhu sitting on a chair next to the bed, you reach for your neck, bandages are tied on it, with the understanding of this comes a feeling of suffocation. You almost managed to escape, so why? Why?! You put your head in your hands and shrink, large drops of tears rolling down your face. When you try to scream, there is a lot of pain in your throat and all that comes out is wheezing. You are completely immersed in your pain, in your disappointment, not paying attention to how the room is filled with anxious voices. You ignore all questions, complete apathy reigns in your soul, and you look melancholy into their eyes at all questions.

A couple of days later, you're having lunch with some of your allogenes, mechanically stuffing food into yourself. It had no taste, some of them talked to each other, but no one dared to turn to you. However, even if one of them and plucked up the courage to start a conversation with you, you still would not be able to answer. When you tried to get rid of your unbearable existence, you damaged your vocal cords and all you could do now was wheeze. However, you still did not want to talk to any of them. It's funny, but they thought that someone attacked you, it never occurred to anyone that you did it yourself. For the next several weeks, you lived and behaved like a programmed doll. An empty shell without a soul. Dutifully accepting their gifts, which became even more, because they tried to atone for the sin of the attacker on you, well, they really were to blame. All of them. Everyone.

Private meeting with Geo Archon, your self-styled most loyal follower. More jewelry made of precious stones, his speech buzzing in your head and rage that suddenly visited you. He was a disgusting, impudent creature with a guilty expression inquiring about your well-being after what happened. It was their fault! Their! They broke you, destroyed you, razed you to the ground, brought you to this point. With sudden strength, you take the vase that was on the table and throw it at him. And at the sight of his face, covered with scratches from fragments, your exhausted, almost disappeared soul was filled with warmth. Yes, you wanted to return to them a hundredfold every drop of pain that you experienced. So you casually pick up one of the presents and throw it at him, and then another and another. After a while, you stand in the middle of a wrecked room, furiously puffing out the wings of your nose, looking for a suitable projectile to throw with your eyes. When Zhongli kneels down and raises his head, looking into your eyes, you take your breath away. His disgusting amber eyes which you once liked so much are full of awe. It was as if he saw a natural disaster in front of him, undeniably beautiful in its destructive power.

"Whatever you want to give me, whether it be pain or pleasure, I will accept everything, Your Grace. If you want to vent your negative emotions, I will gladly serve as a canvas, do whatever you like with me."

You want to laugh, loudly desperately hysterical, but you can't, only wheezing comes out of your throat. You forcefully pull your hair back, digging into your scalp with your nails. You want him to leave, to stop looking at you like that. But you couldn't even send it away because you couldn't talk anymore. How could you hurt them, how? There had to be a way, something. Your thoughts raced through the options. You were a butterfly pinned to the wall, whose suffering was fun to watch. Why did it have to hurt only you? Why did this happen to you? You kneel down, covering your eyes and ears with your hands. For the first time in months, tears are flowing from your eyes again, leaving a salty taste in your mouth. Not a single chance to escape from this hell, without the possibility of revenge, just an impostor who took someone else's place. What could you do?

A week later, at a ball in Liyue, you meet with a smile the cries of the unfortunate victim stabbed to death on the altar, your altar. Favorably accept the gifts of your allogenes and carelessly dance with one of them. You were happy. Is not it?

Reblogs, comments, are always greatly appreciated! ヽ(o^ ^o)ﾉ

#genshin impact sagau #genshin sagau #genshin impact sagau x reader #sagau #sagau cult au #sagau x reader #sagau impostor #genshin impact #genshin cult #self aware genshin #theabysss writes

[remcycl333]

instant manifestation 🍄

something i have noticed lately is that there has become an obsession in this community with instant manifestation. people send me asks all day long that say "i want to manifest xyz and i want to manifest it NOW. i don't want to wait i want it today or not at all."

is instant manifestation possible? of course it is!! we've all seen the success stories where people have received instant results. i've manifested instantly as well. it's 100% possible, but i still feel like the community has become a little too obsessed with manifesting instantly.

you found the law of assumption and found out that you could manifest literally anything you want. endless money, the love of your life, a gigantic mansion for free, your desired face. and you say "okay. but only if i can get it in one day or less." ???????

you have the power to get anything you want, with no limitations, just by thinking thoughts. sure, you might have to think these thoughts consistently for a few days, maybe even weeks or months. but then you will literally have your desire for as long as you want it--for the rest of your life if that's what you want!!! but you're not willing for it to take any longer than one day???

yes, it's possible to manifest your entire dream life in one day. each and every one of you are capable of doing so. but to give up on your desire and/or your dream life because you are not willing to put in time and effort to cultivate what you want??

i understand that some of you are manifesting things that have a deadline. this does not apply to you. but a lot of you need to stop setting arbitrary deadlines for your desires. for example, "i need to manifest my SP by christmas." or what? what's gonna happen if you don't manifest them by christmas? are you no longer going to want to be with them? are you not gonna want your desire anymore?

9/10 times all setting a deadline does is add unnecessary stress to your manifestation. "omg its x amount of days until my deadline and i still don't have it oh no i need to affirm more i must be doing something wrong" etc. or, the deadline will come and go and you will continue manifesting your desire, but now your confidence is shaken and you feel discouraged. you set another deadline and the process repeats itself over and over again until you’ve created the limiting beliefs that you just can’t manifest, that you’re bad at manifesting, that manifesting is impossible for you. sound familiar?

 stop making arbitrary deadlines for your manifestation because at the end of the day if it comes and goes and you still don't have your desire you are still going to want it.

let me give you a little anecdote:

in 2020 i wanted to manifest a text from an sp. i had already been trying for a while, but i had discovered the law of attraction first and wasted a lot of time on that. when i discovered the law of assumption, i was growing impatient and wanted to manifest a text instantly. i had already been waiting for so long. i would check my phone constantly and see i didn’t have a text from my sp and get so upset. id re-affirm the fact that he still hadn't texted me. i started setting deadlines. i decided i’d manifest a text from him overnight, then by the end of the week, then by summer, then by my birthday. my deadlines would come and go and i would “fail” .... but i still wanted to talk to my sp. i still wanted him. so i’d keep going, now with the belief that manifesting a text from him was fucking impossible and that i’d never get what i wanted. it wasn't until months of this cycle passed that i finally put my foot down and said you know that? fuck time. i don't give a fuck how long it takes, i am going to give this my all until it manifests. i don't care if it takes months, i will not waver. i will not throw a fit because it's been x amount of days and it still hasn't manifested. i know that no matter how much time goes by i will still want my sp. so i won't stop until i get him. i think it took me about three weeks of keeping my mental diet in check and not reacting to my 3D, but i got my manifestation. and those three weeks were worth it.

you have two options: 1) stop giving a fuck about time, how long you've been persisting and how much longer you may have to go, and just give it your all and get what you want, or 2) complain every day about how long it's taking because you are hellbent on manifesting instantly and hate your current circumstances, and have to stay exactly where you are with no progress because you won't just put in the work.

which choice are you going to make?

#law of assumption #manifesting #manifestation

[fuckmyskywalker]

aaa!! love your stuff so so soo much. i wanna see Luke inherit his father’s skill for manipulation. obviously, with Luke, it’s from a totally kind-hearted place because he couldn’t bare to hurt you, but sometimes he needs to twist your mind a lil to get what he wants <4

CW: 18+, smut! Luke being manipulative yes, my babygirl. Oral sex (m).

a/n: HE TOTALLY DOES! This is for you my stargirl.

Seeing Luke cry was like an arrow straight to the heart.

“Don’t you love me?” He whispered, burying his face in his hands. His body was trembling, as if he was seconds away from breaking down, which was scary. Seeing every wall crumbling down just because of you, was terrible.

His face made you feel as if you were the villain of the story. The evil mistress who broke the young Skywalker’s heart. “Of course I love you.” You mumbled, staring at your own feet. His quiet sobs were painful. Taking shaky steps you stopped next to him, hesitantly sitting next to him on the couch. Touching him was like signing a death sentence.

And Luke Skywalker was the executioner. 

“If you loved me, you wouldn't leave me” He raised his head just the slightest bit so he could peer at you from between his fingers. Those piercing blue eyes were enough to make your knees buckle— and thank the Maker you were seated, or else the floor would gladly receive you.

His hand reached for yours and you didn’t dare to let go. It was like a vicious cycle. Breaking up because his love was like a tight rope around your neck, smothering you and choking you, until Luke came back crawling and asking for forgiveness for pushing you away with his possessiveness and sudden bursts of emotions. You had no idea where it came from, and you always wondered if it had to do with the lack of attention he had from a formal parental figure or his gloomy upbringing. 

“I'm trying to make things right Luke—” Your voice was soft, you hated confrontation and Luke knew it. It wouldn't be hard to convince you. “This… isn't fair for either of us”

Standing up and walking to your room was the wisest choice— but when it came to looking, all you could do to help yourself was allow him back into your life. It doesn't matter how many times you have done it, the situation repeats over and over until it feels more like a weekly thing, than something that should be avoided. Luke was aware of the fact. Anything of these was fair to you because he was doing it on purpose; from his perspective, he was just protecting what belonged to him. He never had much growing up in the hostile world of Tatooine… now— he has anything he wants, and he wants you.

His calloused hands, a product of hours of training to protect the galaxy— to protect you, squeezed your palm and enveloped your fingers tightly. 

“Look… my love” His voice no longer sounded desperate, his face began to fall slowly. Almost acquiring a menacing frame. Though he tried to make his voice as gentle as he could; there was an unspoken venom that was hard to conceal behind such a thin façade. “You can’t leave me. We need to stay together. I… I love you. I simply cannot imagine my life without you, so— please stop all this nonsense of wanting to leave me”

There it was. The same old trick. Every. Single. Time. You fell into his trap. And today wasn't the exception. 

Exasperation began to build up inside your chest. Deep down you knew this was wrong— but wait a minute, Luke made you feel so loved, he gave you everything you asked for, and he showered you with gifts or dates, or whatever kriff you wanted that day. So, was it a bad thing to forgive him? You weren't an idiot, despite Luke's attempts to brainwash you. This relationship wasn't healthy, it was far from stable,— was it starting to get old?

“Just listen to me, just once” You breathed, running a hand through your hair. “I can't keep doing this. I'm tired of always fighting and making up and feeling like I am the problem and—”

“Why should I listen to you when you clearly don't understand anything whatsoever?” Luke let go of your hands, cupping your cheeks and dragging your face closer to his. The same blue irises that you learned to love, were staring deep inside your soul, testing you, reading you. “It’s okay if you don't get it. I understand it can be difficult sometimes— You are not meant to do the things you enjoy, not while you are with me, I mean— You already have me, what else would you possibly need?” He wasn’t crying anymore, his eyes were puffy, and his cheeks were flushed.

Luke never had a problem with crying, especially when he wanted to; He begs, whines, and pleas… Completely fulfilling his desired act. To make you feel so remorseful you will bend under his will.

His smile didn't have any right to be so sweet, so bright. Luke Skywalker didn't have any right to be a ray of sun. 

“Now you are mine” Luke’s voice was above a whisper. Whatever he was doing it was undoubtedly working. “You don't need to do anything else, my starlight. We can be together. Forever.” Such promise was supposed to be soothing until it wasn't. 

His lips brushed over yours, having you right where he wanted.

“I'm just… protective” Your ex–or your boyfriend– or whoever he was now— continued. Pressing gentle kisses until your mind began to get foggy. Luke’s lips were like a drug. He never gave you enough to satiate that ich that the taste of his sweet mouth created in your body. “You couldn't understand because you'd never had someone love you as much as I do. Don't you see?”

Granting him with a soft nod, your eyes fluttered with what appeared to be desire. Luke could read you like an open book. His kisses began to be more slow, steady, and more intimate. He was testing the waters. He needed to prep you first.

“Don’t you see?” He asked again, running his hands up and down your hips, shifting in his seat. “I ask you to do all those things for your good. You are too blinded by your kindness that you fail to see that people out there are cruel. They are just trying to take advantage of you”

What if he was right? Luke had no… he had no reasons to lie to you, right? His weight on top of your body was comforting. This was something familiar, his closeness was soothing. Luke was there—your Luke.

Yes! He was right! People were cruel, mean. Your friends were making fun of you behind your back, just like Luke said. Your friends were a bad influence, just like Luke said. You were just too blind to see it because you often only choose to see the good side of people, unlike Luke. He knows when something is wrong. He always knows. And, as your boyfriend he is allowed to take care of you.

Luke’s kisses became more desperate, eager. His tongue explored your mouth and his fingers gripped your skin as if you were about to leave. “I’m just doing what’s best for you, princess” He moaned against your lips, as his hands cupped your breasts and squeezed with his strong hands. “Soon you’ll see how much I worry about you, once you see that, you’d understand the truth. Because in all reality… you’re just being silly. Aren’t you?” His hands slid inside your blouse, snapping your bra open and wasting no time playing with your nipples, rolling them and pinching them. “Aren’t you silly, my beautiful darling?” Luke hurried you, moaning quietly when he heard you whine his name and arch your back.

Yes, Luke was obsessed. And he was proud of it. 

He guided you kindly, forcing you into a state of mind where all you could think of was him. The power his words held was surreal. Your brain was mush, just like Luke wanted it to be. Helping you untie his belt, he watched with amazement how your mouth lowered on him. He loved to see you like this, after he cried you always felt guilty and did anything he asked for in order to cope and ease with your remorse. Luke hates seeing you cry, and he firmly believes what he is doing is for you; He is truly worried. You are the only good thing he has in his life, so of course he is going to do anything in his power to keep you by his side.

He moaned your name as your tongue licked the sensitive head of his cock, tasting him and rolling your eyes at the taste. Luke’s breath hitched, buckling his hips and whining when you began to take him inside your mouth. His length felt thick and heavy inside your mouth, giving him head was one of your favorite things to do. 

“This is what you want, right?” Luke whispered, brushing hair away from your face and keeping a hand over your head to control your movements. It didn’t take you long to grow at a steady pace, and for Luke to become a teary-eyed, moaning mess. “You want m—me…” 

You wanted to answer but his dick in your throat was preventing you from; A simple whimper came from your mouth and Luke groaned at the sound buckling his hips faster, basically fucking your face. You gasped for air when he yanked your hair and rubbed his wet cock against your cheek, smearing your spit and his precum, your chest heaving with difficulty. Luke took his time to slap the swollen tip of his cock over your lips, your cheek, enjoying how your eyes seemed to go hazy with pleasure at the feeling.

“Say it” His voice is soft, massaging your scalp with his fingertips. “Say you are mine. Say that you will never leave.”

The words choked in your throat, he was again asking you to tie yourself to him and you weren’t sure if you truly wanted that.

But you did it anyway.

“I belong to you; I will never leave you. I love you.”

The smile of relief that danced across his lips swelled your heart. Luke was happy.

So you were happy too.

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