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msmarvelwrites · 4 years

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The Winter Soldier - Part 15

Info: A Devastating car crash causes you to lose your memory and start over. The only thing left in the wreckage was the horrific nightmares which plagued your mind. If you knew what today would entail you would have just stayed in bed. But you didn’t and because of that, everything you knew was about to change.

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x reader

Warnings: swearing, gun violence.

W/c: 2.9k

A/n: I’m double posting for @kalesrebellion because she called me out. So here you go babe. Also, I did an embarassing amount of research trying to come up with the basics for the serum. But I concluded that this is fiction and it doesnt really matter. But if you’re ur a science major and this doesnt make sense please dont come for me lol

There are moments in your life that define you. Moments you look back on after everything and wonder, if you had listened to your gut, maybe it would be different. This was one of those moments. Bucky’s world shattered around him as Natasha’s words rang through his comm.

“We’ve been compromised, Buck. I’ve been hit. They got Y/n.” Her voice, broken and solemn.

No.

Dammit, NO.

This isn't how this was supposed to happen. This was an easy job. Only a few Hydra agents resided in this compound. The whole thing felt like a dream. One he was completely and utterly unprepared to handle. How could he let this happen. He should have been there.

“Dammit. What's your location? I'm coming to you.” He shouted. His blood began to boil and he heard your heavy breathing on the other side. You were running. “Y/n, please come in. Please, doll. Where are you?” Bucky hated how broken he sounded. He knew the rest of the team could hear his begging, but he didnt care. He couldn't. He just needed to get to you.

“You always were a fighter. Right till the bitter end.” A man’s muffled voice came through his comm. He didn't recognize it as anyone he knew, but there was something familiar about it. A distant memory he couldn't quite piece together. Before he could speak, your voice broke though, a small whisper shattering his heart and sending him into a blind rage.

“Bucky” You breathed, choking on a cough.

“Y/n. I’m coming to you, doll. Don't worry, I've got you. I’m going to get you out of this. Don't worry, I’m coming.” He pleaded, but was only met with static, and then finally silence. The rest of the team kept quiet, waiting for any kind of sign of life from you. When none came, Nat spoke up.

“Guys, we gotta get out of here. They've set off a security alert, this place is going to blow in three minutes.” Her voice was now back to its usual tone, but Bucky knew better. She was scared, he could hear it. “ There’s no sign of her out here. She’s just… gone.” He could hear that she was running now.

“Bucky, we gotta go.” Steve spoke from beside him. Bucky’s head snapped to his friend, eyes wide and body still frozen.

“We can't leave. Not without her.” He all but begged.

“You heard Natasha, she’s on her way.” He paused, “Nat, you got the files?” He spoke into his earpiece, motioning Bucky to follow him to the entrance they had come through.

“Yeah, I have them. Thanks for asking by the way. I’m great, two more bullet holes in my gut, but yeah, files are more important.” She scoffed, causing Steve to roll his eyes. “I’m headed to the entrance right now.”

“No, I’m not leaving without Y/n!” Bucky tried to pull away from Steve, but he was stronger. A fact he would never admit to the guy, his head was already big enough.

“She’s not here Buck. They wouldn't blow the compound with her in it.” He persisted.

Sam’s voice interjected, “Jet’s fired up, you guys better get the fuck outta there. We have less than a minute.”

Bucky and Steve ran through the dark hallways together until they almost slammed into Nat’s small frame. He gasped when she appeared in the hollow moonlight. Her face was contorted in pain, something he was all too familiar with. Guilt.

“I lost her. I’m so sorry, it was my job to-” She broke off into a sob. Bucky wanted to agree. Yell that if she was a better agent- a better person his girl would be coming home with them. But he couldn't... This was on him. He knew it was a bad idea to bring you on the mission. He deserved all the blame.

“She’s not dead. Not yet anyways. But we will be if we don't get out of here.” Steve yelled over the alarms blaring in the hallway.

Bucky and Nat both nodded, and followed Steve across the field. Before they could reach the jet, the warehouse behind them rumbled before letting out an earth shattering explosion, sending the two of them flying into the ground. Without hesitation, Bucky grabbed Natasha's hand and pulled her from the ground. He wrapped her arm around his shoulder and all but dragged her body onto the jet.

“Vision’s been alerted we need medical. He’s been staying at a safe house in Munich. We can be there in thirty minutes.” Steve spoke urgently, rifling through the cabinets of the jet looking for the first aid kit.

“Seriously guys, it's a flesh wound. I’m- Ah!” Nat screamed in pain as the jet hit a spout of turbulence.

“Like you were saying.” Wanda smirked, placing her hands carefully on Nats' wound. Her hands glowed a deep red as she tried to relieve the pain. The spy’s face relaxed, but only for a moment before she was back to worried.

“He’s alive, Buck.” Nat spoke, and when she did, he could hear the fear in her words.

“Who?” Steve demanded, but Nat’s eyes stayed put on Bucky’s.

“Tommy. She said his name in the hallway. It was him, Buck. He’s not dead. He’s the one that shot me, the one that took her.” Nat flinched in pain as Wanda's hands fell from her side.

“That’s not possible.” Bucky shook his head. “Steve found my mission file. I killed him. I remembered it. You just don't walk away from that.”

“Well, clearly you do.” Nat spoke sarcastically, pointing to the gushing holes in the body.

“So Tommy’s alive? And he’s Hydra now?” Wanda asked, suddenly realising her hands were not on Nat’s wounds anymore. She placed them back silently apologising.

“And he’s got Y/n.” Bucky added, his jaw clenched in anger.

“We’ll get her back.” Steve spoke. He placed a hand on Bucky’s shoulder which he quickly shrugged off, pacing back and forth through the small aircraft.

“I know we will. And i’m going to finish the fucking job and tear that prick in two.” He seethed, mostly to himself.

He tried to focus on the task at hand. Desperately brainstorming how to get to you, but his mind was spirling. How could he just leave you? How could he have been so stupid? The sound of his name leaving your lips echoed around him, only fuling his growing rage.

“All our tactical suits have hidden trackers in the sleeves. We will hear it go off, but until then we wait. They cant have gotten far.” Steve started as the jet began its descent. “We're almost at the safe house. We’ll track her from there. In the morning, we’ll head out.”

“Morning? That's too long. She could be-'' Bucky cut himself off, too broken at the thought to finish that sentence. “I’ll find her myself tonight.” He grumbled.

“Oh no you don’t. We’re a team, Buck. We do this together. Vision will be able to enable her tracker. But we need to work together. We can't lose anybody else to impulse decisions.” Steve scolded.

He knew his friend was right but it didn't make it any easier to agree. All Bucky wanted to go but get you back. Keep you safe and never let anyone touch you again. He tried to keep his distance before, he really did, but that was out the window now. There wasn't a chance in hell he was leaving your side after this. As for the man that ripped you from his grasp, oh boy… He tried not to make a habit out of fantasizing murder, mostly as it resulted in the Winter Soldier coming out of the shadows, but if that was the case with Tommy, so be it. Only when Bucky stood in a pile or carnage and gore and blood would he finally feel peace again...

“We're coming up on the safe house. Y'all ready to bail?” Sam's voice tore Bucky out of his thoughts, and thankfully so. He was sure it was leading to a very destructive path.

“Buck, help us get Nat inside. Wanda and Sam - sweep the area, make sure no one has followed us. I’ll fill Vision in on what's happened and see if he can turn on Y/n’s tracker now.” Steve commanded as he hopped out of the jet.

“Can you stand?” Bucky asked, dipping down to tuck Nats arm around his shoulder, helping her up. She nodded reluctantly, wincing in pain as she moved.

The safe house was a small cabin in the middle nowhere. Munich was only a few minutes down the road but the thick coverage of trees that surrounded the cabin made it feel secluded and hard to be spotted from above. If they weren't followed, no one would ever know they were here.

Bucky helped Nat inside, letting Steve and Wanda take over once they were through the door. Before he could enter, he stopped, taking a moment to gaze upon the sun rising over the mountains. In a few hours, he’d be with you again. He just had to make it until then, and pray to whatever god would still have him, that you were alive.

………………………………………………………………………………………………………

“Продолжай копать. Нам надо её найти.” Keep digging. We have to find it. The voice rang in your mind, waking you from the recurring nightmare. Visions of Tommy and that boyish smile that once brought so much happiness.. His voice, the way it used to say your name, now only causing you ache.

“Wait, rewind there! Вернись. That’s it.” The voice spoke again, echoing around the room. You opened your eyes slowly, taking in your surroundings, but all you were met with was darkness. You could feel movement around you, but the blindfold tied around your eyes masked their faces.

“I’m positive she told me what was in that serum.” His voice caused your heart to just about leap from your chest. You knew that voice anywhere.

“You better be right. You're as good as dead to me otherwise.” Another man spoke.

“No I’m sure. Wait! Right there. Replay that part.” Tommy asserted.

Suddenly a headache burned through your temples, scorching the inside of your eyes. You screamed in pain as it coarsed though your body until an image appeared in your mind. It replayed over and over, making you dizzy.

“Whatcha doing?” Tommy cooed, taking a seat on your desk.

“Just trying to find the right components.” You spoke, not taking your eyes microscope as you examined the petri dish below.

“Cummon, baby. You've been at this for hours. Come eat something.” You looked up, Tommy stood there with that big goofy smile you loved so much.

“I’ve almost got it. Just a little longer.” You reassured him, rolling in your chair and picking up another sample and analysing it.

“What exactly is, it?” he asked, emphasizing the word.

“If I mix the steroid with-”

Another shrieking jolt of pain seared through you as the memory disappeared, leaving you trembling.

“Go back, we almost had it!” Someone yelled from beside you.

You tried to scream, to beg them to stop, but it was no use. Before you could try again, the same horrible pain erupted through your body, ripping you back to the distant memory.

“If I mix the steroid with human blood, it does as it's designed. But taking into account the theory of nuclear transmutation, we can assume given the right element we can use the serum to absorb its surroundings, right?” You spoke, like it was common sense.

“Sure…” Tommy chuckled.

“So, strip down the original serum, add radiation to its compound, now it needs the ability to absorb energy… What element do we know has that power?” it wasn't a question, nor did you think Tommy would know the answer so you continued, “Water, and our bodies are basically made of that. So in turn, if we can create the original serum mixed with high levels of radiation, inject the person, granted you're not killed by that high levels of toxicity, we're looking at a new type of Super Soldier. One that could, in theory, mutate around the serum and absorb its surroundings!” You finally finished.

“I have no idea what any of that means… But it sounds cool. Now put the vile down, and eat something.” He laughed, grabbing the sample out of your hands and carefully placing it on the table next to you.

“Thats it!” Someone shouted. “Of course, why didn't we think of this. Call the commander, tell him we found it.”

You felt your body twist in agony, but soon the memory left, leaving you back in the dark with disembodied voices echoing around you.

“What do you want me to do with her?” a man asked.

“I don't care. убить её?” Kill her? You froze at his words. Even if you could move, your hands were tied down to the chair. Gentally you wiggle your fingers, careful not to draw any attention to yourself. Not that you would be able to tell. The ring that Shuri had made you was still there. If you timed in right, and you still had Wanda’s borrowed power, you could use it to untie yourself and hopefully get the fuck out of this hell hole.

“Kill her?” Tommy choked. “You didn't say anything about killin’ her?”

“You should be thankful. The girl’s been sharing a bed with the same man who killed you once before. In fact, I’m so pleased with your work developing this memory decoder that I’ll give you the honour.” The man spoke, shuffling around the room. “Here, tell me when you're done having your fun.” A few heavy footsteps later, and you finally heard the door close. The silence was deafening, but eventually, Tommy let out a deep breath and took a step towards you, ripping your blind fold off.

You squinted as you tried to acclimate your eyes to the lighting of the room. It was small and dark, but a few dim lights hung above you illuminating Tommy's features. Once upon a time you would have described them as strong and rugged. Now they seemed to loom over you, sending a shiver down your spine.

“Are you okay?” He asked, softer than you expected. You quickly clocked the pistol in his left hand and tried to suppress a scoff.

“Am I okay?” You gawked at him. “You just dug through my head like a sand pit. No- no I’m not okay you shit head!” You screamed.

Tommy chuckled, using the gun to scratch the back of his neck. “Touché…” He spoke, pulling up a stool and plopping himself down on it infront of you. “I missed that attitude baby. Really, these past couple years have been hell without you. These guys are really scary, but I told em- I said, my girl will know what to do. And you did, baby. I never doubted you.” His voice was like honey. Thick and sickenly sweet.

“What are you talking about?! I thought you were dead!? I mourned you, asshole. And you've been alive this whole time, working against me?” You couldn't believe how cavalier he was being about this. Tommy only shrugged, fuling the rage inside you.

“Nah, it's not like that. I was dead, really I was. But then Hydra came and BOOM I was back. They promised me that they’d keep me safe, as long as I could help em get that serum you were always talkin’ bout. Said they wanted to give it time in your system, make sure it didn't kill ya.” He started, narrowing his eyes slowly, “You grieved me? That's a funny way of putting it. Cause from what I saw in that head of yours, you were pretty chummy with that Soldier.”

You couldn't stifle the scoff that erupted in your mouth. “You're kidding right? Jesus, Tom. They brainwashed me. And I don't need to explain myself. You're sick, you know that? How could you do this? Do you have any idea what they're going to use that serum for?” You fired the questions off like explosives into his chest, but he didn't even flinch.

“I don't really care. They told me if I gave em’ your little recipe, they’d let me go.” He shrugged.

“And so what? Now you're going to kill me?”

“No… Maybe. I haven't really decided yet.” He looked down at the pistol like it was the first time he really noticed it was there. Contemplating your death like he was deciding between his morning coffee.

“I would get going on that if I were you.” You lifted your hands, wiggling your wingers playfully “Really, Tommy, you're not cut out for this line of work.” You spat, jumping from your seat and landing a hard kick to his gut, sending him flying back. The gun ricocheted off the ground and hit the wall, but before he could react, you grabbed it. In one swift move you turned the safety off and placed your finger on the trigger.

“Cummon baby, let's talk about this.” He raised his hands in surrender. “You wouldn't shoot me.”

You cocked a brow, “You sound really confident in that statement. Especially for a boy who was debating my death a moment ago.” You argued.

“Dont take it personally, baby. Anything you can do, I can do better. Remember?” You smirked.

................................................................................................................................

A/n: Another Cliff hanger? Yes. Do I know how to wrote anything else? No... My bad lol. I hope your enjoyed this one as much as I did writing it! As always, @cutie1365 is the bomb dot com for editing this for me. Tommy sucks, we both agree. I hope he gets whats coming to him... please leave some love and reblog if you read it!

@kalesrebellion

@projectcampbell

@calwitch

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halorocks1214 · 4 years

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the law of action

AO3 Link

Word Count: 10100

Summary: The Law of Action must be applied in order for us to manifest things on earth. Therefore, we must engage in actions that support our thoughts, dreams, emotions, and words

Previous Parts (in order): Alan | You are here! | Virgil | Scott | Gordon

these just keep getting longer fellas i dont understand how thats possible but it is. ALSO: REMEMBER IN ATTRACTION WHEN I MENTIONED THAT THESE WERE BEING WRITTEN OUT OF ORDER. HA, UH, KIND OF AN UNDERSTATEMENT I GUESS. but its here! johns pov chapter! im pretty satisfied with it, albeit a few kinks i wasnt really able to work out, so i hope you enjoy it too!

thanks again to @gumnut-logic for the prompts! "Where?" and lightning were this fic's choices. sad to see the last ones go away, but this was still a blast so thank you once more! also, just because the prompts are gone doesnt mean this series will be too ;3

Anger was a rare emotion for John Tracy.

It had to be. When dealing with the cold hard truth of data telling them something wasn't possible or dealing with annoying people who thought they knew better than him or dealing with people panicking in his ear because nobody expected the aftershock of an earthquake to be that bad, he didn’t have a choice. There were a lot of deals in life that had to be made and someone needed to play peacemaker, even if it wasn’t deserved.

It was true that he got the least angry out of his siblings, even compared to Virgil. Virgil might not get necessarily violent like Scott did, or threw caution to the wind like Gordon, or, hell, pulled off whatever John does when someone somehow manages puts him in a bad mood, but Virgil did get angry quite a lot. He just didn’t have as many blatant ways of showing it. John, on the other hand, didn’t have a lot of ticks. Pet peeves, definitely, John was no stranger to annoyance (especially with siblings like his), but not outright anger.

That didn’t mean he never got angry. He was Tracy born and bred, so that meant one the few ticks he did have surrounded the topic of family.

Specifically, his family being threatened.

John wished he was the youngest sometimes. That meant he could say things like let Scott punch the idiot already, he’d be doing the world a favor, and not get lambasted for the immature response. It also meant he could throw tantrums to hell and back and not feel like a total loser.

Like right now for example.

“EOS, I swear, if you don’t open the elevator door for me--”

“No, I won’t.”

Unbelievable.

Groaning and rubbing his face, his hands found their way up to his forehead and through his hair, holding his bangs out of his eyes for a moment. His eyes had many emotions in them, the most blatant being this shit cannot be happening right now, “EOS, do you know you’re amazing? I don’t think I’ve said that enough.”

EOS whirled for a moment, “John, I’ve seen that grin on Gordon. I cannot believe you would stoop that low.”

The grin she pointed out fell flat off his face, “Yeah, okay, you’re right about that--”

“Like I always am.”

“--So thank you,” John was going to strangle whoever defined sass so thoroughly in the dictionary. It left a bad example, “For the reminder, but seriously, I need to get up to ‘Five. It’s… important.”

It’s been a week since Alan was taken.

They’ve exhausted all options.

The only thing that could possibly get him back to them had to be International Rescue’s resources.

But EOS over here wasn’t getting the memo. Her words had that hint of childish innocence behind it. In that way that said there was no innocence whatsoever and she knew exactly what she was doing, the little shit, “John, do you really need to, or do you want to?”

There’s the inflection that John taught her. An inhale through the nose and… Uuuugghh, “EOS, I know the difference between needs and wants, this is definitely a need.”

Another lens blink, another moment of disbelief, “It seems like you have a lot of needs, John Tracy.”

John grimaced and ground his jaw together, mumbling his grievances with the current situation, “Yeah, well, if there’s any trait I truly share with my siblings, it’s that we’re all high maintenance.” His next words were more clear and designed to get the point across, “EOS, I’m not kidding, unlock the door.”

EOS stood her ground, “John, you going up there is one of the most detrimental things to you’re health at the current moment. I won’t let you.”

John threw his hands into the air, “EOS, there’s are whole lotta things that are currently detrimental to my health currently happening, one more thing won’t hurt.”

EOS lens shuttered again and John felt like it was nails on a chalkboard, “You have a point, but I’ve seen you with Scott when he’s in a similar mood. Don’t you tell him he needs to take a moment and think when he gets like this?”

John groaned as quietly as possible. Not too loud, but loud enough that EOS hopefully got the point, “Yes, I do, but I’m not Scott. We are two very different people, you have pointed this out numerous times. We have different ways of handling things, this, and ‘Five is exactly how I can fix this problem.”

That was not how he should’ve worded that. Her lights flickered in sympathy, sympathy, and he knew she finally figured out what John was trying to get at, “John, there may still be a lot I have to learn, but at least I understand--”

“No, EOS!” John snapped before he could help himself. Before she could finish explaining her point of view that was most likely right, but his desperate brain didn’t want to hear it. His brain that was running on zero energy telling him this was taking too long, fix that, “You can’t understand!”

Just like that, John was reminded of why he hated getting angry.

As soon as the words left his mouth, so did the air in his lungs. Through sheer will and determination, the only thing that didn’t leave his body was the little amounts of food he ate over the past seven days, though it really wanted to. He became very pale, and EOS could detect the not-so-trace amounts of fear that fell over his eyes.

Dammit, you idiot. Months upon that past year of work were now going to go down the drain because you blew your lid just this once! First, the call with Alan, now telling the one thing that could kill you in your sleep she’ll never essentially be good enough was--

“I know, John.”

His food came back with a vengeance, but he was bullheaded as hell, and he already caused enough damage. The last thing anyone needed was to clean up vomit. It would’ve been nicer if she got angry at him. He could handle being thrown out into space. He couldn’t handle EOS admitting he was right, least of all over blatantly cruel words.

He channeled the energy his stomach wanted to use into weak words, “E-EOS, I…” What the hell was he supposed to say? Sorry surely wasn’t going to fucking cut it.

Well, whatever he wanted to cut didn’t come up, as EOS continued as if John wasn’t the worst thing on the planet, “I’ve been doing some reading. I understand that I’ll never really understand certain human-based things like you do. You, humans, have gotten close, me being one of the better examples, as long as that’s not considered bragging, but even I’m not at that level yet. But I do at least know you and your habits. I put up with them on a daily basis.”

Because if there’s anything else John needed to fail this week, it was the one promise he made to her. His promise to keep her safe, to make sure she wasn’t treated like a mindless robot by some crazy scientists ready and willing to cut her circuitry wide open like a middle-school science project. While he would never even get close to being a quote-on-quote crazy scientist, never in a million light-years, he surely didn’t follow that middle part of his promise, “EOS, listen, I--”

“Please, John,” and now she was pleading, thinking he was going to ask to use the elevator again. Thinking he wasn’t going to give up, even after all of that. John might’ve laughed if it wasn’t his fucking fault, “I’ll help look for more options if it means you’ll stay here for a little while longer. You should stay with your family. I know how they affect you in those positive ways that you currently need.”

John was abruptly aware of his heavy, almost wheeze-like breathing. If he wasn’t careful, it could delve into one whopper panic attack, which would be so great right now, “Y-Yeah, okay. They probably won’t understand the effects of gravity over an elongated period of time like I do, so I can stay and help with that, at least. Thank you.”

As John turned around, he heard EOS whisper to herself. He could blearily tell it was actually fondness that filled her vocal waves for once, but it still stung regardless, “Idiot.”

Yeah, he really was, wasn’t he.

As he helped look over his Dad’s med-scan with Virgil, when Virgil went looking for something on the other side of the room, his father whispered, “I know this is a bad question right about now, but, is there anything we can do for you? Maybe even I? You look dead on your feet.”

John could only reply to the first half of his father’s statement with a meek, “I don’t know anymore.”

---

16-year-old John Tracy was seated atop his roof, making sure he got the perfect view of the Big-Dipper.

He was hoping to spot a more exciting constellation when he first used his new telescope, but dangit! He was just so excited to get cracking right away! He just got back from his birthday party, Alan and Gordon snoozing in their rooms while Scott and Virgil secretly finished off the cake. That was okay. John was too busy focusing on his new expensive toy to worry about having any more sweets.

His dad could pull some strings when it counted.

Newest model. The only other people who have this baby are scientists at NASA. Happy birthday, John. Sorry I didn’t get you a car like Scott.

Fuck cool cars. John would be on cloud 9 for days with this thing. Scott would call him a nerd for it. Jokes on Scott, he couldn’t zoom about 10 thousand miles into space now, could he?

Right as he nailed it, the world shook. Large arms snaked around his waist and he involuntarily found himself giggling at the contact. As soon as those limbs let go, he blushed at his reaction and cleared his throat. Suddenly, the arms were an entire body sitting down right next to him, speaking with their ever-comforting burly voice, “Hiya, son, I see you just couldn’t wait, huh?”

Rolling his eyes, John turned back into his serious, analytical self once more, “Yup, this thing’s crazy. I’m glad I got out here as quickly as I did.”

Jeff simply grinned. John was always reserved, but Jeff was a good translator for all of his sons, and he could tell that John meant this is one of the best things in my life holy crap, “That’s great to hear. The look on your face when I brought this out of the closet was certainly good enough to last me a few lifetimes.”

John snorted, “I bet it was. I heard Gordon joking about it with Alan. I don’t think I need to see any pictures anymore. I have a pretty good mental image of what I looked like.”

Jeff smiled and sighed, “No kidding. “Like a goldfish with a broken jaw.” Not the most eloquent, that Gordon is.”

Laughter rang out throughout the roof, followed by a few moments of silence. Not awkward, but not really welcomed on John’s part either, “Do you…” Stop it, John, you’re asking for too much, “Nevermind, it’s dumb.”

Jeff tilted an eyebrow, “Oh, is it? I guess you would know if something were smart or dumb, so I trust your judgment.”

Dangit, Dad, why are you so manipulative, and why are you so good at it, “I don’t know. I’ve established I wanted to be an astronaut, right?”

Jeff nodded, “Mmhmm.”

John, for some reason, felt like he needed to tread carefully, “You are also an astronaut. If there was any way for you to be able to… could you… could you come up with me the first time?”

Jeff blinked in shock, and before his son could register that as disapproval, “Huh, well, that’s certainly wasn’t what I was expecting. Sure, I don’t see why not.”

Now it was John’s turn to blink, his mouth gaped, “Wait, what? Are you serious? Aren’t there rules for this kind of stuff?”

Jeff shrugged, his shoulders clearly saying rules shmules, “I’m also one of the biggest entrepreneurs on the planet itself, and one of the most renowned ex-astronauts there are. You would not believe the lengths people are willing to go to kiss my ass. Would you feel better if I pinky promised?”

John’s nose scrunched, “You can never truly promise anything, you know.”

His father chuckled, used to his son’s antics. John was reserved, remember, “Well, you boys always credited me with doing the impossible.”

John continued challenging him, “When we were all less than 10, yeah, sure. I think Alan still thinks you can breathe in space. You. Specifically. No one else. I think he said you only wore the helmet to “protect your secret so the evil movie scientists don’t take you away.””

Chuckles turned into laughter and a clap on John’s shoulder, “Well, glad to see I still got the magic touch at least.” That same arm that playfully smacked him was now wrapped around his shoulders, “Just you wait, Johnny boy, if I can’t get on that ship with you, then you bet your ass I’ll at least be the loudest one cheering in the crowd.”

Then, suddenly, John was right, like he always was.

A promise that never should have been made: broken. A wish never fulfilled.

Dad was swallowed up by the very thing John loved.

No more space stories, no more fun moon facts, there was a void in John’s life as big as the galaxy itself, and he wasn’t sure how to walk around it, or God forbid even into it.

He tried to be the healthy sibling about it. He tried so hard. Getting through high school quicker than most so he could just worry about his family. Scott and Grandma were doing their best, and in so many ways, it was enough, but even they couldn’t bear all of the stress themselves.

But then his high school graduation came and Grandma gave him one of the biggest hugs of his and her life and he realized that he would never get one from his father again. His mom leaving this world was already bad enough, but at least his dad was there and knew how to fill in the gap after years and years of his marriage with her. You didn’t marry a woman like Lucille Tracy and not fundamentally understand how the gears in her brain turned lest you were truly insane. Maybe Dad was. Certainly would explain a lot of things from John’s perspective. Certainly would explain why she married him in the first place. Crazy attracts crazy.

Regardless, the one thing closest to his mom’s warmth and care was gone, and if he spent the night of his graduation party quietly sobbing his eyes out while the others slept, well, then he was glad they kept snoring.

Try as he might, he became just as unhealthy and unbalanced as the rest of his family, but he was more subtle about it. His self-destructive ways weren’t bad if other people had them, but when it came to him, oh, he knew it was the worst thing he could do in terms of recovery. That’s probably why the rest of the family didn’t notice (Good). John was smart, he would know better. Yes, he did, which is exactly why he dived headfirst right into it all.

Focusing on college, getting up into the star-filled void closer to his dead relatives as quickly as possible, focusing on the here-and-now to make sure this shit didn’t happen again. Making sure no family went through what theirs did.

And maybe that’s why, why he couldn’t handle the touch of others wanting to comfort him. Because it reminded him too much of what they used to have, of what they used to be. Too many hugs and kisses from others might wash away what his mom’s and dad’s felt like, and out of all the things they could potentially lose from this, those were the worst possible ones.

John was a Tracy, which meant he was stubborn.

He wasn’t going to lose the last few things he remembered about his parents if he could help it.

---

It had been just under a month, and John finally got what he wanted.

And it wasn’t working like he thought it would, if at all.

He’s been on ‘Five for three days, and for just a fleeting moment, it washed away any uncertainty. He felt back in control, if only minorly, and he held the world at his fingertips once more. Too bad the world he wanted to fix was so far away it felt like it was on the other side of the frickin solar system itself.

He promised his family four days at most. Please, just one chance. We won’t know unless we try. He wasn’t sure what cracked them first, them coming upon dead end after dead end, them finally seeing reason behind John’s argument, or if they just got annoyed with the space monitor after endless nagging and relented like tired parents.

The tiny part of John’s mind that still allowed him to joke kinda hoped it was the third option. “Easy child”, pfft. John’ll show them.

Right, right, a clear head, the most focused of IR, he can’t get unfocused or go too far off track. He’s saved many lives throughout his life, all of them thanks to his level head, but right now, he was arguably saving the most important life of all, so that meant he had even more incentive to stay focused.

In fact, he was so focused, he jumped at the sudden, feminine voice filling the room, “John, I found another article I think you would like to see about most common places criminals… John?”

Crap, he was halfway into the fetal position. Slowly uncurling, John nodded, “Oh, thank you, EOS. I’ll start reading it shortly.”

The noise of her lens adjusting sounded throughout ‘Five again, “Of course. Let me know if you would like me to start searching for a different topic, though. There has to be a limit to how many “You wouldn’t believe this” articles one can take, and I think I’m finding it really quickly.”

For the next few seconds, John was suddenly filled with a rush of determination he had been trying to get after their little confrontation in front of a locked elevator door to ‘Five.

She had been helping him out so much the past couple of weeks. Running unnecessary tests for him, searching parts of the web only she could search without getting tracked by some secret mafia, letting him know it was okay if he couldn’t get everything right the first time when two months ago she snapped at him for getting a simple algebra equation wrong due to lack of sleep. She had been especially patient with him recently, even after their little spat in the hangar, and John wasn’t sure how to process it. A tiny part wanted to resort to anger again because he clearly didn’t deserve her, but the more prevalent parts preferred something like depression or even apathy.

She had been making sure his world didn’t spin off its axis, and John couldn’t even tell her sorry until now.

“EOS, I’m sorry.”

She stopped moving, turned around and let her lights blink yellow for only a moment, “For what, John?”

The man in question waved his hands around in front of his face, lost, confusing her more. With a sigh, he explained, “For a lot of things, but mainly from a few weeks back when we had that argument. I said something that wasn’t okay, and I didn’t have the balls to own up to it until now. So, I’m sorry. I crossed a line I shouldn’t have even been near.”

For a little bit, it was quiet. John waited as the A.I. contemplated his words. Then, she spoke her judgment, “Well, I know you are. You haven’t exactly been working off your butt over nothing, right? Plus, reliable sources say one of the ways guilt manifests is anger. I’ve seen that with the rest of your family. It would make sense yours would too.”

John blinked. Part of him was expecting her to not fully understand why he was apologizing, but the other wanted her to just so he could get over this, just so he could let go of even just the teeniest amount of guilt he had, “EOS, anger isn’t a valid excuse. What I said was wrong. I don’t believe those words and you shouldn’t either. The whole point of this partnership is to show you that there’s more to life than just calculations and probabilities. It’s kind of hard to see that when the one person who promised to be different went and screwed it up anyway.”

John hoped EOS was at least questioning things now instead of letting his words go in one ear and out the other. Her next words said she was doing exactly the latter, “Okay. I don’t disagree with you, John, but I don’t know why you’re so hooked on this. I understand. We don’t have to worry about this unnecessarily anymore.”

Yes, you do understand. That’s the fucking point.

They weren’t getting anywhere, yet John didn’t even have the energy to groan in annoyance. He could even get his eyebrow to twitch.

All he could do was simply lean his head back against the wall and let his hair stick up against it like static electricity was flowing through it. The real reason it was sticking up was probably due to a mixture of Zero-Gs and grease from all of the showering he hasn’t been doing, however. His eyes had deep rings around them, and for a second, EOS thought about how relative age could be as a number while John softly spoke, “The Hood was an angry man, too, you know. He felt slighted by our family and wanted us to feel the same. It still doesn’t make what he did right.”

EOS thought about his words before coming to a logical conclusion, “Well, that’s certainly a leap in logic. There’s a big gap between simply yelling because you’re annoyed and literal kidnapping. One gives people a sour mood, the other gives them a significant amount of jail--”

“Yes, EOS, I’m aware of that,” John brought his hand to his face, but underneath it was a grin, telling the world that he was feeling fond exasperation more than anything. EOS was more obtuse than him sometimes. It was one of the few things of himself he wished she didn’t copy so easily. He sighed and brought his hand back down, “I’m just... putting things into perspective. I want you to see why my words were wrong. It would make me feel better if you did.”

EOS hung still, letting John’s admission roll over her wiring like a wave of electricity, “You have a lot of needs and wants. What takes precedent?”

More inflection. This time, John welcomed it. It gave him something to stand on. John wanted a lot of things. Alan to be home safe and sound, Dad to have not disappeared for nearly a decade, for his brothers to stop slowly killing themselves, for himself to stop, but the needs of the many, even the needs of one, outweigh the wants of a singular man like him, but, “Well, needs obviously, they’re necessary, however… it’s okay to be selfish every once in a blue moon. It doesn’t make you inherently bad.”

It was advice he parroted many-a-times to his family, some of them more often than others, seldom to himself if at all.

Scott, it’s okay if you have to tell them you can’t make this business conference.

Virgil, you can count inventory in the morning. You didn’t get any sleep last night either.

Gordon, if you can’t smile for a day or two, that doesn’t make you a bad person.

Kayo, you don’t have to patrol every night. We have security cams for a reason.

Alan, I know we tease you, but you missing a chore or two isn’t the end of the world.

Grandma, you already do enough for us, you barely cooking for us is the least of our worries.

That last one might be more for the rest of his family than not, but hey, two birds and one stone. Keeping his back against the wall, John stood up straighter against it, face suddenly serious, “In fact, wanting to be selfish is one of the best ways to tell that you’re human. You can’t escape it. It only becomes bad when you end up only being that.”

EOS sat in silence, her lens flickering in that way it always does when she was signifying she was about to pass judgment like a Goddess, which she seemed to be doing a lot more recently, “Well then… If I’m allowed one moment of self-reprieve, I suppose I should say that those words did… hurt.”

John grimaced despite very much understanding that he deserved it. The return of the inflection didn’t exactly help. Pushing himself away from the wall, he felt the metaphorical weight fall off his shoulders, “Yes, they did, and while they weren’t okay, it is okay to say that they weren’t. I still am very sorry.”

EOS adjusted her camera, probably to stall for time, “I know you are, John. I still forgive you, but am I correct in assuming I’m allowed some time to… recover isn’t the word I’m looking for, but--”

“Yes, EOS,” John helped her explain her own point, “Recover is a good word. You’re allowed that if you want it.”

John wasn’t sure how, but it seemed like EOS visibly relaxed, “Thank you, then, for letting me do that. This.”

For some reason, John did too, “Of course.”

It was a soft kind of awkward silence, where both parties had something on their mind but they weren’t entirely sure if they wanted to say it out loud. This is why EOS appreciated John more than the others, he simply let silence be silence. It allowed her time to think, unlike how Scott and Virgil kept asking questions, or how that awful duo made noises and messes only to have a chance at making people laugh. As if that was the most important thing they needed to do.

The nights the youngest called John were endless with his constant babbling that tended to grate her circuit boards. The only reason she let it happen was that John seemed to loosen up at the interaction. He became less weary, less worried-filled. He seemed to greatly enjoy the audial presence of Alan Tracy, let alone the way he lit up when the youngest actually showed up in person. It was just unfortunate that it seemed like the kid could never keep his mouth shut.

Then again… from what John said, the whole reason there wasn’t any more Alan was because he did keep it shut. At the worst moment possible. Now there wouldn’t be any more babbling period. Alan was gone, and the whole family was suffering from the new silence. EOS reasoned it was from the general idea of forced silence instead of just freely being able to leave the room or being able to tell him to quiet down, but maybe it was more than that. She could make another list of options to consider.

Plus, it was weird to think about a future where all of those video game walkthroughs she was forced to save would never be used again. John insisted that they weren’t just wastes of megabytes, so...

Hmm.

“Could you…” EOS trailed off, and before John could comprehend the unusual behavior of the A.I., she started speaking again, “Could you tell me more about Alan? I’m starting to think I judged him rather harshly.”

John took a moment to register her words and promptly snorted, “Well, most of your assumptions about him aren’t entirely unfounded, but that’s one of the joys of being an older sibling, I guess. Surprises around every corner,” there was regret in her voice and John knew he had to treat this as gently as he would a newborn child otherwise he would never hear it again.

EOS flickered, “I thought you didn’t like surprises.”

Uh, “Well, not usually, but there are a few from time to time that I could look back on and call them… quaint, in a sense.” Suddenly, a memory resurfaced, and John found himself grinning like he was doped up on nitrous oxide, “Yeah, they can have good surprises occasionally…”

It was a week before his next rotation. Scott would be back home in about three days, which allowed the second born to actually have a few moments with his only older brother. He was looking forward to it just as much as Scott was. Right now, though, he had to make sure he got the right angle.

Right as he did, he heard the soft pitter-patter of footsteps come up the ladder, and when he turned around, he was met with a bundle of freckles, “Oh, hey Alan.”

Hi, Johnny, the kid squirmed out, Is it okay if I sit next to you?

At first, a list of things wanted to fill John’s head. You look dead on your feet, you should be asleep, you have a lot going on this week so why are you wasting sleep? but instead of any of those filling the void that was his brain, John simply nodded, “Yeah, sure, come pop a squat, Sprout.”

John looked away right before he could watch Alan’s nose wrinkle in displeasure. Despite the usage of the nickname (that Alan secretly liked, don’t think you could pull that wool over our eyes, little bro), the kid still toddled over and flopped himself down right next to his older brother. Sighing, the kid leaned his head on John’s arm and absentmindedly stared out into space, both figuratively and literally. Satisfied his brother was comfy, John went back to his current objective.

As John examined the night sky, he also carefully looked over Alan out of the corner of his eye. Every bruise that John could see was finally dulling out into that familiar greyish-yellow as bruises do, and the sight was enough to calm any negative emotion being created from the reminder. John refocused on his telescope to help as well.

The kid had been through one hell of a week, bullies being their typical selves. Every Tracy outside of Scott and Gordon had their fair share of their own experiences with nasty people, and it wasn’t even the first time they’ve left their special kind of blue-and-black marks, but seeing it on Alan was… worse, somehow. Virgil had unsavory anonymous notes at ‘best’, and John knew first hand that their hits bruised more than just physical skin. So to see Alan get the same treatment and not say anything...

John was starting to understand why his older brother greyed so easily.

Speaking of which, Scott was pretty peeved at the idea of not being there for Alan. Because of this, John made sure to be the sole one to call him and inform him of the awful news while the older brother was out at his designated Air Force base. John wanted to see with his own two eyes that Scott wouldn’t do anything rash and made himself liable to be put on some kind of list.

You would think he wouldn’t be that stupid, but the Tracys are known for breaking expectations over their sweet, sweet kneecaps.

(“Scott, you’re not going to steal an Air Force jet just to come and beat up some dumb kids.”

“Watch me.”

“They’re only a year older than Alan.”

“Doesn’t matter.”

John pinched the bridge of his nose, “Listen, we already scarred them enough as it is, let alone their expulsions. Grandma’s threats to the adults were liable for a government-mandated therapist, Virgil just being there had them running for the hills, the computer I was sporting sent chills down their spines and throughout the hallways, and that’s not even to mention Gordon’s threats to the kids themselves. Seriously, where would a 15-year-old even get the tools to do that?”

Scott visibly relaxed at John’s point, but he still sat a little taut, not fully accepting the idea of people being cruel enough to hurt a literal ray of sunshine, “Fine, fine, I still want to talk to the kid over a call at some point. He was the one who dealt with those idiots.”

John’s shoulders deflated, “Yeah, you got me there. He’ll be back with Virgil and Gordon soon enough, you can see him then.”

Scott smiled in a way that washed away the greys in his hair, if only for a moment, “Awesome, I--”

John wasn’t completely done, “But I’m going to be with Alan while you talk to him. I don’t trust you to not be in search-and-destroy mode, and the last thing Alan needs is an angry you with no buffer. Besides, I’m pretty sure we have the same questions. I can play the angsty-Scott translator tonight. Usual fee, 10 bucks each word.”

The groan that managed to fill the whole house despite the tiny speakers was one John would never forget.)

Too lost in thought, John didn’t catch Alan’s movements at first. Leaning away from his telescope, John focused on Alan, “Sorry, Allie, did you say something?”

The child simply shrugged and smushed his chubby cheeks against John’s side, shaking his head, followed by his hands, I just wanted to see what you were doing.

Ah, that made sense. Alan had been continuously signing for the past year because of the obvious, so John rolled with the punches. It was always funny when they talked about these years in the future. Alan talked, Alan said, Alan brought up: it was always metaphorical, and nobody could believe them when they said Alan was fluent in ASL, let alone because he could actually go half a day without talking.

It was ironic because even with no words, Alan still managed to be the loudest thing on the planet. His hands always screamed with excitement whenever he felt like ‘talking’, and no brother ever felt like shutting him up. Especially when it was so easy for Alan to simply not shake his hands to hide the fact that he was in trouble--

Right, don’t go there. John shook his head to bring himself out of his thoughts and replied to the non-verbal admission, “Just looking at the stars. Recording their coordinates and whatnot.”

A small gasp had John jerking immediately away from his scope to see Alan suddenly very worried, maybe even fearful, But won’t you lose your eyes?!

Aha, what? “Allie, you’re going to have to give me more than that.”

John almost didn’t catch what Alan was trying to explain with the way he frantically shook his hands even faster than before, Mrs. Gatsen explained to us that the sun was a star too, but we’re not allowed to look at it for too long because it’ll steal our eyes! I don’t want you to lose your eyes, Johnny!

Ohoho, the part of John’s brain that was all about the smartsy stuff was gearing up to have a full-blown seminar of sorts, but the way the kid seemed so sincere in his worry, in his fear, John felt partially bad for giggling instead, “Oh, Allie, no. Here,” John was activating his inner Virgil and Scott with the way he grabbed the youngster and placed him in his lap, “Yes, the sun is a star, but there are many kinds of stars. Most of which don’t hurt your eyes. Take a look.”

Alan gave one last sentimental look at John, who nodded again just to reassure the blonde before the boy gulped and put his eye against the tool like Johnny did. This time, the gasp that came from him was more magical, more child-like, as it always should be. John watched on as the kid became stuck to his telescope like glue.

Suddenly, Alan leaned back into John, somewhat knocking the wind out of him. Honestly, now that he was thinking about it, John realized he was pushing it by letting Alan sit next to him in terms of his personal comfort zone. He loved Allie just as much as the rest of the family, but letting them in, letting them get close, was veering dangerously close to that specific ‘hug’ territory like he and his parents had.

Before John could explain that in a child-friendly way, and hopefully in a way where the too-smart-for-his-own-good kid couldn’t pick up on the hidden message, Alan looked him directly in the eyes and confidently signed his wants, Can we do this more often? Can we?

Just like that, John’s mind blanked. Alan wanted to do something with him. Not swim with Gordon, not music with Virgil, not do, well, anything with Scott, Allie found something that he would like to do with John.

Huh, interesting, “Yeah, sure. If we can’t do it in the next week, then the first thing we’ll do when I come down is stargaze, because that’s what it’s called: stargazing.”

Alan started gripping his arm tighter and leaned more into his chest, nodding vigorously at the news and looking back to the sky with newfound wonder. Letting Alan be, abruptly forgetting his grievances with things like touch, John went back to his telescope. After another minute or so, John reached a point where he needed both sides of his body, except it looked like one of them was going to be kept immobile unless the spaceman said something to Alan.

John tried doing just that, just without looking away from his device, “Hey, Allie, I don’t mind the sitting-in-my-lap and stuff, but I do need my arm back to--”

Snoring.

Oh.

Jerking his head to physically look at his sibling, John found Alan passed out and squeezing his arm like a freckled koala bear. The ginger flinched a little bit at the drool dripping onto his sleeve, but the way Allie melted into him made him-- actually, he was very suddenly aware that this whole night he hadn’t really been thinking at all, and that thought made him continue to stare mindlessly at the dozing brother.

He always thought about, well, everything. What he was going to say, what he planned to do tomorrow, about what the future held now that they were down their second and last parent. If he didn’t think about it beforehand, he rarely did it. He had to make sure he went through all of his options before haphazardly jumping into the pits of hell.

Yet the way his younger brother looked at him like he was the world himself tonight made John throw all of his training to be as cautious as possible out the window in a need to comfort and care for the small thing in front of him.

It was shocking to his mind, yet he didn’t resent just being able to do without worrying too much. Was this how smother complexes started? Did he ever drool on Scott’s arm? Still staring at Alan, John’s mind continued to be robotic as he simply let his younger brother be and went back to his telescope. Alan had been needing to get a little more sleep lately anyway.

Yeah, it was fine. He could figure out how to follow up on his words later. It wouldn’t be that hard to figure out a way to squeeze Alan into some of his already-planned stargazing nights while making sure the kid still got sleep. Also, John’s used telescopes wearing a cast and sling before, he might prefer two arms, but he has been okay with only one.

If Grandma yelled at John for spending too much time on the roof again, well, she would have to get over it. Alan got an extra hour of sleep and that was all that mattered.

EOS watched as John finished the story. Once he was done, he continued to be quiet while grinning at nothing. All he was doing was simply staring at the floor… It was slightly creepy, and EOS cleared her nonexistent throat, “Huh, I didn’t realize he got a lot of his interests from you. Maybe… maybe you could show me why he did. He can too. More perspectives always get more data.”

John blinked and was immediately taken out of his trance. He brought his hand to his mouth and cleared his throat, “Yeah, he-- wait, what?”

EOS sighed. This is another reason why she snapped him out of it; his inability to listen to someone right in front of him. She simplified her words, “If Alan comes back, can you two take me stargazing? I don’t think I’ve ever seen what the stars look like down there, or, at least, I never looked at them long enough to understand what you all find to be so fascinating about them.”

John blinked a few more times with his mouth slightly gaped. He looked around nervously before bringing his turquoise eyes to look EOS directly in the middle of her camera, “Yeah, sure, EOS. When Alan gets back, that’s the first thing we’ll do.”

EOS didn’t mention anything about the correction of if to when, “Thank you, John, I would like that very much.”

John nodded and floated back to his tech, “Of course. Now then, we’ve got work to do. I’ve been meaning to stargaze recently anyway.”

He still had one more day up here.

And a baby brother who needed saving.

How hard could it be?

---

Very.

Growling in frustration, he thumped his fist against the wall next to him rather harshly.

Not enough to leave any kind of mark or dent, but enough for him to focus on the tiny amount of pain it gave him. He vaguely heard EOS’s lens flare at the sudden noise, but he was a little too focused on why he felt the need to hit his girl.

It was the end of the last day, and he didn’t make it any further like he thought he would.

Some bleak part of his mind was hoped, prayed that his girl would have the tools to find their baby brother. He was willing to bend her entire satellite to be able to reach the far ends of the galaxy if he had to, but even he had to concede that she wasn’t enough. The Hood wasn’t dumb, unfortunately, and he wasn’t going to go easy on them. That is if he was even going “to go” on them to start with.

While it wasn’t the first time he failed spectacularly, this failure certainly hurt the worst.

Half of him wanted to curl up into a ball and forget everything for a moment (or maybe forever), but the other half won out in terms of what his body contorted into. Instead of curling up like a prickly hedgehog, he leaned backward to be floating with his back to the ground and his face to the ceiling with his face in his hands. Meanwhile, EOS silently gazed from her camera in the corner. Watching John struggle this way was… new, and it twisted her wires in a way she wasn’t sure she could describe.

EOS watched him mumble something. Huh, peculiar as ever. Adjusting her camera, she tried small talk, “What was that, John?”

Still mumbles, but more intelligible, “... I need to drop the ‘s’.”

A flicker of yellow, nothing but pure confusion for once in her robotic life, “The ‘s’ of what?”

Suddenly, the astronaut was standing (well, floating) upright with a look of disdain, but EOS could see that it wasn’t meant for her, “Of ‘she’. It’s not ‘Five’s fault, God, it never is, but maybe… maybe it’s mine.”

All of her programs should allow her to say something. Anything, sugarcoated or not, would be beneficial to this seemingly one-sided conversation, but this was the moment she learned that humans could be faster than computers since John steamrolled right to the point without hesitation, “He wasn’t good enough sounds better. Nothing I’m doing is getting any results. I gave my family false hope that I would find something and now I have to go to them and essentially break them. They were already barely holding it together as it was, but when the “smart one” in their family says there’s nothing he can do…”

She found herself going against the logical part of her program-- because despite the idiot John Tracy could be, when he made an argument that had any kind of evidence you never could go against it-- the first time in, well, ever, in an attempt to comfort her partner, “John… I think you’re grasping at straws here.”

He looked up from the floor, and EOS had to shrink her lens at the sight of unshed tears in his eyes, “Who was the one that called him?! Me! He was standing there only a few rooms over, probably terrified out of his mind, and I didn’t know. I let him slip between our fingers because I was so caught up in the moment and I hate myself for it.”

EOS found herself speechless for once, and the few droplets of tears that floated in front of John’s face didn’t help. She had been trying her best recently, especially recently, to understand the fluctuations of human emotion, and she was pretty sure she had decent tabs on at least John nowadays, but this was something unexpected, a thing her programming never really liked to deal with. It involved lots of new calculations and new sims, why, it made things seconds longer when they didn’t have the time to deal with it!

Her electronic voice box made a noise with the intent to say something, as she thought she finally had the time to deal with it, but just her luck, more unexpected things made her reapproach the issue at hand, “John, look out! The Chaos Crew!”

Blinking out of his self-deprecation train, John was uncharacteristically panicking, “What, where?” After doing a full 180, John eventually saw one of his comm radios with the familiar pink symbol floating above it.

John’s pupils shrunk and his eyebrows tilted downward in that unfamiliar emotion: anger.

Fuck this.

The mood change was as fast as the speed of lightning. John practically flung himself to the communication device on something akin to a warpath. No longer regretful or depressed, John was filled to the brim with fury at the sight of one of the men that was a constant thorn in the Tracy family’s side, “What the hell are you doing here? How the hell did you--”

“Wait wait wait!” Fuse pleaded, making John momentarily pause enough to listen, “I’m not good at this like my sister is, so this connection is going to drop soon. I need you to reopen the line yourself so I can explain what I’m here for! Trust me, I swear I’m not--”

Zip.

Blinking at the lack of noise, John slowly turned his head to look at his A.I. to get her opinion on the matter. It wasn’t a positive one, that’s for sure. Her dots were bright red, and for the first time in a while, he found himself flinching at the sight and sound of her, “It wouldn’t take much of me to get rid of the nuisance, you know.”

Taking a few deep breaths, John shook his head, “No, EOS, give me a sec. Don’t send him careening into space.”

Yet.

With shaky hands, John did as Fuse begged and found the comm line the guy haphazardly threw together. Right as Fuse jumped at the sight of one of the Tracys actually hearing him out, John’s voice spoke coldly, “You have five minutes. Go.”

Fuse gulped, “W-Well, I suppose the first thing to do would be to apologize. I’ve caused a lot of messes for you and your family-- heh, ‘messes’ probably doesn’t even come close to explaining what I did-- and I realize that now, so I want to--”

Ah, that tactic. The one where they try so desperately to seem like they were repentant. John wasn’t familiar with it, but Scott sure was. Shady business owners trying to shy away from their consequences made the eldest very aware of how slimy those in power could be. Scott complained about it a lot, so John made sure to always remember it just in case he ever ran into it himself.

Preplanning wins again in the Tracy household. You should listen to John’s advice more, Gordon, “Yeah, tell me something I don’t know.” John muttered mostly to himself and moved in a way that signified something was going to happen.

Fuse sputtered and stopped immediately. Crap, he was going about this wrong. These were all things he was suddenly genuine about, he really was, but the Tracys didn’t want useless apologies at the moment, and he understood that. Hopefully, he didn’t understand it too late. Right before John could do anything to him or give any kind of command to his satellite, Fuse blurted the information he should’ve said the first place, “I know where he is!”

John felt like the Earth flew right off its axis.

Everything froze, including EOS. His hand was out in front of him for some reason, probably subconsciously reaching for some kind of button, as he absentmindedly listened to the whirl of ‘Five and his brain fully processed what Fuse was promising, “... What?”

John was keenly aware that sounding so weak, so hopeful, was something that Fuse could spinelessly abuse if the man wanted to, but John had a good lie detector. The words that fumbled out of half The Chaos Crew’s mouth were sounding good, great, and John could tell that he wasn’t bullshitting anything, “I know where he’s keeping your bro. I mean… shit, what The Hood did wasn’t right, maybe it never was, but I know this specifically is--” a break in his speech in an attempt to words things better. Fuse failed, “Bad. I just…”

John’s head involuntarily tilted at the way Fuse trailed off. For once in his life, John was at a loss. This was highly uncharacteristic from what John had seen of The Chaos Crew, and the astronaut was so flabbergasted he couldn’t even begin to come up with any possible ulterior motive behind Fuse’s actions at the moment.

Suddenly, Fuse looked back up with big eyes, almost reminding John of Alan a little bit. Not in the obvious ways, because Fuse was on the verge of seven feet tall and built like a truck whereas Alan was the teeniest thing on the planet, but… John could see similar traits of innocence in them. The eyes of someone desperately clinging onto the last few shreds of hope they had, but still ready to do what's right because of it. Because even if the light at the end of the tunnel was small it was still worth fighting for.

Fuse, seeing that John wasn’t going to say anything, bit the bullet, “I don’t know, call it selfish, call it smart, but if The Hood is willing to do something like this to someone so young, I… I don’t want to be apart of it. I can’t give any information about my sister, I’m no snitch, but I want out, even if it means spending the rest of my days in a GDF cell.”

John was suddenly aware of a burning question, “Wait, how old are you, Fuse?”

A tired sigh, aging Fuse to something that was probably three times what he was going to say, “I turn 20 in two weeks.”

John sharply inhaled, “Jesus, I… I didn’t realize you were that young.”

A lot of things made sense quickly and abruptly like they always do for the ginger.

If The Hood was willing to do this to someone so young, that didn’t stop him from doing this to someone like Fuse. The logical conclusion the now ‘ex-villain’ made probably danced the wildest jig in his head, and before anyone could clap their hands, he got as far away as possible. John wouldn’t be surprised if The Hood made idle threats for not following orders or for “being stupid”, so Fuse had every right to feel threatened.

Jeez, he was probably terrified at the implication. A dark, buried part of John selfishly thought good, it sucks you had to learn the hard way, but now you see why we all hate him, but the first thing that came to his mind was something unexpected yet expected all the same.

John was reminded of Alan again.

Except Alan had four older brothers to run to when the monsters got too big or too frightening.

…

Scott was going to kill him, “Park her over on the left and come in. We’ve got a lot to talk about. Bring inside whatever you think will help.”

EOS’s shrill John! ringed throughout the room, yet it was overruled swiftly. Fuse’s mouth was wide open, “For real?”

John couldn’t tell if he was losing the knots in his stomach or forming completely new ones, “Yes. Don’t do anything funny, though. I have eyes everywhere.”

Fuse gulped again, yet he was very business-like with his next words, “Of course.”

The line cut a millisecond before John wanted it to. John knew exactly why, “Listen, EOS--”

EOS was suddenly in his face, and it spoke miles at how far she’s come that she wasn’t blaring any alarms in anger, “No, you listen, John Tracy. I cannot believe the level of ignorance you are displaying!”

Gordon always joked about her being his daughter, but right now, John’s eyebrow twitched in annoyance at the feeling of being scolded by an overbearing mother, “I get this may seem like I’ve lost it--” jokes on EOS, who says he hasn’t at this point? “Listen, there’s nothing else left to go off of, and I know this makes me look like a crazy man desperate for information that might not even be there, but--”

“No buts!” EOS shrieked, “You told me that if you followed a sentence with a “but” that what you were about to say shouldn’t even be considered an option! What is making you throw all of my training out the window?!”

John’s mouth became very dry. This conversation was taking a very different turn, “Wait, EOS, why is this all about you suddenly--”

John was starting to regret giving her more mobility at the sight of her jamming her camera directly in his face even more, “It’s not just about me! This affects you too! You said you always based your decisions on the here-and-now, so I should too, so why am I the only one doing so?! You’ve seen what he’s capable of!”

John’s mind tended to be made of gears, and all of them began spinning at the same time. Dammit, he didn’t pick up on this because he didn’t even consider it a factor: EOS being scared. Hell, it wasn't even considered because the last time he remembered her being this scared was when she thought he was a threat during the first time they met (was it really that long ago?). She was scared that Fuse was going to hurt John like he hurt the rest of the astronaut’s family. Like he hurt Gordon.

The only difference is that nobody could get to John like they did Gordon, so that left the ginger at an impasse if the small chance that Fuse was here to hurt him came true.

John found it very hard to breathe all of a sudden. Closing his eyes and struggling to get enough air in, he realized a fundamental problem. EOS was based on data and things that have been recorded, and so far, the only things recorded about Fuse was that he was hellbent on hurting the Tracy family, a family that John was apart of.

She didn’t know any other way to feel about the guy, she didn’t have any other example.

John would love to be that way too, honestly, to just focus on the data. Numbers never tended to be wrong, and the idea of being a simple number-crunching bot would make life a shit-ton easier, but he can’t. He’s human. One that’s very much willing to go against the numbers and probabilities if it meant helping his family.

A rarity for John, to follow his gut and nothing else, but at the end of the day, he was a Tracy, and following his gut was as familiar to him as it was to name all of the immediate constellations in the summer’s nighttime sky, “EOS, I know it’ll be hard to believe me, hell, I’m having trouble believing myself, but Fuse isn’t here to hurt me. The here-and-now is different for reasons I don’t have enough time to properly explain, okay? If there’s anything to believe, believe in the trust you have in me to make the right decision like I always do.”

EOS made no noise, not even a flicker of her lens. He expected her usual sass, something along the lines of, Who says I trust you, moron? but what he got punched away what little air he managed to collect, “... Do you promise?”

That was the million-dollar question. Of course, he couldn’t. He didn’t like making promises after the age of 12. Too many probabilities, too many what-ifs, made promises somewhat of a theoretical impossibility. But just like that night on the roof with Alan, John was able to not think, “I promise, EOS. You wanted to go stargazing with me and Alan, right? Fuse might be able to let us do that again.”

‘Family’ was a Wild Card. Nothing was possible, yet everything was at the same time when it came down to it. ‘Family’ was what made Scott go from day to day without keeling over. ‘Family’ was what got Virgil to sleep at night when he just couldn’t by himself. ‘Family’ was how Gordon managed to keep smiling and joking despite everything in the world trying to make him stop. Hell, ‘Family’ was how their father kicked the word impossible right in the groin and live.

‘Family’ might have been why Alan was stuck in such a shitty situation, but it was also the reason the kid was willing and able to go that far in the first place. He learned that selflessness from his ‘Family’, after all.

John was intent to use that fact to the fullest.

EOS’s lights blinked in contemplation before she quietly spoke once more, “Do I have permission to shock him if he makes even the slightest suspicious movement?”

John rolled his eyes yet grinned all the same, “Sure, only just a little voltage, though. Right in the ass. Would be a nice pick-me-up after all of this.”

Well, despite the year they’ve had, John wasn’t aware EOS could snort. Another sign things might be going right for once.

The door swwwshed open and Fuse floated into where the two hyper-intelligent beings were hanging about and got straight to the point, “Thank you. I hope… I hope I don’t let you down.”

John found himself light as air, and it wasn’t just the zero-gravity this time, “Sounds good. Let’s get cracking.”

While the first thing he did back on Earth was scare his father and his immediate younger brother shitless, the way they and the rest of the family lit up at the plan he and Fuse came up with (after making sure nobody killed the dude, which was surprisingly more difficult than expected, and boy was it expected) made it all worth it.

Well, maybe the sight of Fuse occasionally jumping and yelping at a strange pinch in his bottom with no known cause was worth it too. John wouldn’t tell his brothers that, though, he was the responsible one, remember?

You always made me look at things differently, EOS. Thank you.

#fabfivefeb #fabfivefeb2020 #thunderbirds #thunderbirds are go #john tracy #alan tracy #eos #fuse thunderbirds #jeff tracy #my post #my fic #series: rules of alchemy

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sebeth · 5 years

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Young Justice Outsiders: Evolution

Warning, Spoilers Ahead…

Episode 7: “Evolution”

“Aliens once again threaten the Earth, but with the Justice League split and scattered, only Earth’s first and greatest hero can save us!”

Any guesses? Alan Scott, maybe? “First” would indicate a member of the Justice Society.

“You’ve come of age, Cassandra. As the daughter of Vandal Savage, these are the things you should know.”

I only know of two Cassandras in the DC Universe and the one onscreen isn’t Wonder Girl.

The other Cassandra is Cassandra Cain. She is the daughter of Lady Shiva and David Cain. Cassandra begins as a mostly mute character and continues to have language difficulties.

Vandal Savage has one daughter (that we know of) in the DC Universe. Her name is Scandal. She was a member of the Secret Six and had a romantic relationship with Knockout. She would eventually marry Knockout and another woman whose name I can’t recall.

Is Cassandra supposed to be Scandal? Is she a Cassandra Cain/Scandal combination? It’s an odd choice to give Scandal the civilian name of Cassandra if the writers are going to introduce Cassandra Cain later in the series – as far as I can recall, Scandal was never given a civilian name in the comics – the writers could have given her any name – why Cassandra?

Vandal’s minion is named Olympia – why the focus on Greek names? Vandal predates the Greek civilization by thousands of years.

It turns out Vandal is earth’s “first and greatest” hero. Only in his own mind.

September 8th: An alien armada heads toward earth.

Conner, Artemis, Brion, Forager, and Violet are chilling on the beach at Happy Harbor.

The group listens to sport news on a tablet. The show writers use the opportunity to mention some DC characters:

“Hank Heywood of Detroit” aka Steel – best known for his membership in the Detroit era of the Justice League

“Victor Stone” – Cyborg. I’m sure every viewer caught this reference.

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: I love the writers’ love and knowledge of the DC Universe.

Dick arrives with outfits for Halo and Brion. Violet is adorable in her appreciation. Brion isn’t appreciative of the “form-fitting” aspect of his uniform.

Conner admits he’s not fond of form-fitting uniforms either.

Dick mentions Fire designed Brion’s uniform so it wouldn’t be destroyed by his lava form. Fire is most famous as a member of the Justice League International and Ice’s best friend. She was a member of the Global Guardians and Checkmate.

Brion thanks Dick for the uniform as “naked was not my style”.

Forager doesn’t have a problem with nudity: “What is wrong with naked? Forager is naked now.”

The newbie trio continues to be adorable.

Forager puts on his helmet so “Forager is no longer naked”. Way to miss the point, buddy.

Cassandra reads more of Vandal’s history. Vandal’s origin is consistent with the comics: a meteor’s radiation/energy grants him immortality.

Vandal warns Lex of the incoming armada.

Olympia is quite the Vandal fangirl.

Vandal and Lex realize the Justice League and Green Lantern Corps are otherwise occupied due to their machinations. Klarion is involved in Project: Rudapaega? Vandal will have to deal with the armada himself.

Dick trains the newbies. Forager gains the upper-hand against Dick because he “fights dirty” – using towel snaps and sand to the eyes.

Artemis trains with Halo and Brion works with Conner.

Vandal, Cassandra, and Scandal head into space with the War World.

The War World and the armada engage in battle.

We flashback to Vandal’s origin. The unidentified man who stabs Vandal would later become the Immortal Man.

Brion and his siblings were quite the fans of DC’s trinity as children. Brion was a Superman fan, Gregor supported Batman, and Tara was a Wonder Woman supporter.

Vandal contacts Darkseid for resources to fight the armada. Darkseid grants this request.

We discover Darkseid arrived on earth in the 13th century. Vandal, posing as “Genghis Khan”, battles Darkseid’s forces. Darkseid wins but forms an alliance with Vandal Savage.

Jace and Jeff go on a date.

Dick tells the newbies to choose their code names.

Brion wants to be called “Hot Lava”! It’s rejected as it’s too much of a stripper name. Dick goofs on the Tigress code-name and gets punched for his troubles.

Artemis reminds Dick that she didn’t take her name “from an 80’s mullet rock band.”

Dick denies the claim “Not true.”

I love the writers’ reference to Dick’s infamous late 80’s/early 90’s mullet!

Forager is…Forager.

Dick begins training on team maneuvers.

Darkseid sends Kalibak to assist in the space battle.

Olympia: “Kalibak has daddy issues.”

Olympia – the master of understatement.

Vandal spots a Starro fish attached to one of the dead aliens.

We flashback to Vandal’s time as Marduk. He, along with Doctor Fate, battled Starro in ancient Babylonia.

“Marduk’s son, Nabu, fell to the carnage.” This is new to cannon but an interesting choice. Will modern-day Nabu even recognize Vandal Savage.

Ishtar was Vandal’s daughter.

Present-day Vandal battles the main Starro while Cassandra directs War World.

Jeff and Jace spend the night in a hotel room.

We flashback to the Babylonia battle – its revealed that the Vandal and Ishtar emerged triumphant and became known as “the Light”.

Dick gives the newbies props for today’s training. Conner adds his kudos and Artemis teases him over sounding like “Big Blue”.

Artemis offers s’mores as a reward. Halo is so excited a new ability emerges: the green aura causes holograms.

Dick: “We’re starting over.”

Starro is imprisoned in War World alongside Mongul and Despero.

Throughout the episode, the writers have shown Olympia was suffering from memory loss due to dementia.

The episode ends with Vandal calmly approaching Olympia, asking why she recorded his exploits when he had told her not to. He asks Olympia to name her favorite story. As Olympia names the “bear story”, Vandal snaps her neck.

Vandal orders Scandal to take care of her sister: “Any daughter of Vandal Savage deserves a funeral worthy of the gods”.

The end credit scene is Wolf sleeping on the couch.

My second favorite episode of the season. An intriguing look into Vandal’s history. Consistent with comic book cannon but with new additions for the Young Justice universe.

Odd choice to use “Cassandra” as Scandal’s name. As I said earlier, Scandal’s birth name is unknown in the comics – why use “Cassandra” when Cassandra Cain will presumably debut at some point in the Young Justice universe?

Viewers are smart enough to differentiate between the three Cassandras but why use the same name for a third character when you have other options unless the creators are merging Scandal/Cassandra Cain into one character? The offspring of Lady Shiva and Vandal Savage would be a terrifying force but this Cassandra has no language difficulties. Cassandra’s struggle with verbal language is one of her defining characteristics – I wouldn’t be happy if it’s randomly removed.

As for Vandal’s other offspring…assuming Nabu is one of the two sons Darkseid was intrigued by…what happened to the other son? Is he still alive? Did he travel to Apocalypse as part of Darkseid’s pact with Vandal Savage? Darkseid is fond of stealing other men’s sons – ask Scott Free!

Was Nabu the first Doctor Fate? Was his soul captured in the helmet of Fate at the moment of his death? Have Nabu and Vandal encountered each other since Nabu’s transformation into a Lord of Order?

Is Ishtar still alive?

The non-Vandal parts of the episode were simply adorable. Brion, Violet, and Forager are too precious for this world.

Hot Lava!

#Young Justice #Young Justice Outsiders #Vandal Savage #Scandal Savage #Nabu #Brion Markov #Forager #Darkseid #Dick Grayson #Conner Kent #Artemis Crock #Kalibak #Starro

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remarriedempress · 6 years

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Alternate ending to Mr Sunshine

KES built a fantastic world, in a fascinating period, full of fvcking beautiful characters. And I’m so thankful for this drama.

But you know what? She killed all my faves. Now normally I have no problem with character deaths because narratively, they can be very powerful; like how Gunner Jang’s story came full circle, trusting that Ae Shin, and soldier boy, will carry on and lead the fight. However, there is something frustrating, and quite frankly, deceitful, about the way each of our four main characters were killed off. I understand how we got to each point but I still feel cheated. No matter how neatly the story lines were tied up, I would think most readers/viewers don’t want to get to the end of a story and see their heroes die.

So here’s how I would have rewritten the finale BUT still maintain the glorious and hopeful ending KES envisioned in which our mains pass on the mantel to the next generation with AE SHIN at the forefront.

Let’s start with our QUEEN HINA. The hotel still blows up. No matter what, I strongly believe that needs to happen. It’s the removal of their last bastion. But this time, they plan it a LOT BETTER. The day the military academy is attacked, Hina is out there in the streets shooting up the Japanese troops like a BOSS. As she heads home, she spies a familiar body among the dead. It’s Guidan. She feels a pang of regret. After all, they were close for a time, even with the betrayal. And no one deserves to die on the streets. Hina starts to turn away but then she gets an idea.

She hires a rickshaw driver to take Guidan’s body and heads to the pawn shop to buy explosives. As she leaves, Ae Shin drops down from the rooftop. She’d overheard Hina’s request and offers to help. With both their mighty brains at work, they manage to get all the troops good and wasted and the employees far away with enough time for BOTH OF THEM to make a run for it. The hotel explodes in flames. Several bodies are found the next morning, including an unidentifiable woman’s corpse in what used to be the hotel owner’s room. The only thing they could make out were the red shoes on the corpse, tailor made for Kudo Hina just a week before the explosion.

The chief of police is still a spineless, incompetent weasel so he accepts the corpse as Kudo Hina. The king still receives Hina’s letter from Sumi. And so “Kudo Hina” still takes the blame for attacking the Japanese troops and her name is dragged through the mud. Meanwhile, “Lee Yang Hwa” is long gone. AS put her in contact with some RA members heading east, towards the coast. There she adopts a new name, Mae Hwa. She purchases a humble home for herself and spends her time at the orphanage across town. Her home becomes an occasional base for RA members laying low in between missions or waiting for the next boat out of Joseon. It’s a modest life. She makes jewelry and paints, and sells them on the side. She never does meet a nice man. But she’s often visited by a surly looking pirate wearing dark robes with flowing sleeves.

DONG MAE: He stops being so damn ready to die. After he saves AS in Japan, she still tells him to be back in Joseon in three months to receive the money from her. DM still says “And just like that you give me hope,” but get this - HE DOESNT LOOK FREAKING MISERABLE AT THE THOUGHT. And when Ae Shin leaves with the court ladies, he DOESNT walk in plain sight on the beach for all to see/capture. Instead, he goes back to the shadows. It’s easier than he thought. But rather than making him feel like this is where he belongs, it makes him realize just how far he’s come. He can adapt to this world but it does not define him. He lives pitifully for a while. The Mushin Society is still after him so he can’t do much in the open. But he has some allies here who still owe him a favor. They’re able to get him out of Japan via boat. Though the ride is more miserable than when he first traveled to Japan.

He arrives in Jemulpo’s harbor. Beaten, hungry, and pale...but alive. He makes his way to the temple. He’s not sure why. Just a feeling. The same badass nun is there but she receives him warmly this time. AS told her what DM had done for the rebels and so the nun allows DM to recuperate there. They explain his presence as a monk in training. He adopts the name Haneul.

AS drops in one day with a letter from Manchuria. Yujo and Hotaru are doing well. They started a little tea shop where Hotaru reads tarot cards for customers. The shop does really well but with 20 mouths to feed, they had to find other jobs for the boys. Most of them found honest work in farming, fishing, mining. A few started up a collection agency. They send him good fortune and a wish to see him again some day. DM smiles before burning the letter. Knowing they are safe eases the burden on his heart.

By day, he helps lead visitors across the temple grounds, preserving the last remnants of Joseon Buddhist culture. By night, he helps to train new RA members in the cover of the forest. It started with a request from AS. She wanted to learn how to handle knives and swords, in case she ever found herself without a gun. She was good. But DM was still better. And AS knew him well enough at this point to know that he would need a purpose, to keep him going. So she asks him to train the new recruits. And whaddaya know? Within months, they see better success rates on their missions and raids.

HEE SUNG lives. PERIOD. END OF DISCUSSION.

When the hotel blows up, and he thinks he lost his friend HINA on top of everything else, he’s devastated. But it just makes him more determined to expose the Japanese’ cruelty. He’s brought in to the police station for questioning. He’s beaten up real bad but makes it out alive with a major bribe from dad. SEAMSTRESS and mom fuss over him till he recovers. Then, he sets out again to uncover the truth, but this time it puts his family in danger. And it scares him enough to consider stopping. But he knows his soul would never be able to bear the guilt if he turned away now.

So he becomes smarter about his printings. Thankfully, both the chief of police and the Japanese minister who were catching on to him end up dead. The first was rumored to be murdered by a dark shadow reeking of incense and dirt. The second was shot from across the market square by some masked figure, leaping from rooftop to rooftop. Free of suspicions now, HS goes back to playing the rich noble fool by day. While he and FEMALE JOURNALIST (cause KES can’t be bothered to give her side characters some names???) operate an underground printing press. HS makes extra copies of everything. Burying it in multiple locations so that their history and deeds are never forgotten.

When AS comes to him asking for funds to purchase train tickets or gun powder and bullets, he gives it to her, no questions asked. Coincidentally, these funds come from the Japanese government; rent money on the multiple properties the Residency General leased out from the Kim family.

He never quite falls for the SEAMSTRESS and she understands that his affection for her is just that. She’s grateful that he’s extended his protection to her family and works with him to collect evidence of the rebels and the Joseon people and their fight against Japan. But the little brother really grows on him. He convinces his parents to adopt him as a Kim, to have him be the one to carry on the family name. The ticking clock still haunts him. He’s not sure the Kim blood should be passed on. But if the Kim name can save just one more person, he’ll suffer as many tick ticks as it takes.

Eventually, he and Mae Hwa are reunited. He bursts into tears and she apologizes for not being able to tell him the plan. He kisses her in relief and thanks her for staying alive. They share a smoke and talk about the good old days. They wonder about their favorite swordsman and that annoying foreigner. They talk about all the trouble blackbird has been up to. And make plans to meet up, another day, in the far future, for pool and drinks. It takes some time for this to happen again. But when it does, the swordsman, the American, and the blackbird are there too. HS kisses DM/Haneul just because and hugs AS tightly. EG gets a pat on the back. And that’s when he suggests a photo, to commemorate this moment, CAUSE NEVER BEFORE HAVE THEY CONVERGED IN ONE SPOT BEFORE.

EUGENE...He spends some time following around the RA, protecting AS on and between missions. But he sticks out like a sore thumb despite his best efforts and is forced to go into hiding numerous times. Eventually, he has to call on Kyle to get him out of Joseon. His face was exposed on a mission and since he was dishonorably discharged, he can’t call on the embassy for help. He ends up back in America and runs into Ahn Chang Ho again. EG makes use of his old military connections and language skills to spread word of Joseon’s struggle. They make it back to Joseon a couple more times but never for very long as they both become very high profile activists.

AE SHIN: Girl keeps doing what she doing and kicking ass. She becomes a little bit of her grandfather, Gunner Jang, Miss Haman and Mr. Hangrang to the next generation; receiving the occasional support from her original friends and allies, OUR VERY-MUCH-ALIVE HEROES. Those brief moments when they get to see each other again are bittersweet cause they never know when the next time will be or who will make it to that date. But they’ve each proven themselves to be FIGHTERS. And though they don’t know what the future holds, they leave each meeting a little more hopeful, till the next SEE YOU AGAIN.

#mr sunshine #mycommentary

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cassieblck · 7 years

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FIGHTS.

Hermione and Draco's relationship was far from normal that's for sure. You were seeing their happy moments but despite that they had been through a lot of hardship together. Maybe that's the reason their love remain strong and became even stronger through times.

From dealing the hate thrown to their relationships from Hogwarts to the wizarding world, rejection from their family especially Draco's and friends reactions towards their decision of being together but still they walk passed by hand in hand, side by side. Knowing that as long as they have each other they'll get through it.

"Love, thats all what it takes to beat the world" it was their mantra when they first dealing with the hates.

Petty arguments were also one of their favourites rituals. They were not Hermione and Draco without the petty arguments. For someone who was closed to them you'll find that their fights were their ways to flirts. But for others it was horrible. They'll argue about facts like intelligent people does, their perception on books, Draco's fears about loosing Hermione and vice versa.

They'll stop eventually with both of them apologising and hugs and also make out session. That's a bit censored but yeah their loves is full with passionate flames towards each other. Daphne ones ask Hermione whether she ever thought of leaving him. Hermione look taken back then she answers "thats the thing you know, no matter how much we fights, I would never think of leaving him. I also never came across the thought what my life would be without him because his my world right now and then. He is my future". She says that while watching him from afar playing quidditch with the boys.

The biggest thing is they both have their fears about the opposite one. Draco was afraid of loosing her and he knows that he was never good enough for her. When he had this doubts hermione will always said " Draco, i never cared about your past, it doesnt defines your future. I love you so much and keep that in your mind cause believe it or not you are my world." Hermione will also shows him her love from time to time by taking care of him not like a mom did but as a partner did, showing her affectionate publicly and the list go on.

So.. at Daphne's wedding Hermione doubts about herself heightens. She fears that Draco will always pick a pureblood woman like he was supposed to do from the beginning and leave her by herself. She saw Astoria Greengrass, Daphne's sister whom apparently harbouring crush on Draco was flirting with him, the way she holds his arms and laughed with his jokes, everything about it. It lowers her self-esteem Astoria was everything a pureblood woman should be. It freaks her out because she's nothing from it. Its not that Draco didn't introduce her as his girlfriend but that girl is to dumb to understand.

Astoria confronts her after that saying all of her doubts about herself and fears straight back to her face and saying hateful things about her. Usually she'll stand up but that time she was unable to find her voice as Astoria was saying the truth. Luckily Blaise caught this scene and immediately called Draco. Draco was able to hear a bit of what Astoria was saying to Hermione thanks to Blaise for giving him the input. He puts his arm around Hermione and bring her back as a symbol of protection and he said... " Thats enough Astoria, you would never say that again to Hermione whether its in my back or infront of me. I will not tolerate the next time i hear you belittle her. Because shes better than you and any pureblood woman will ever be. Shes beautiful, grace and intelligent and many more. Its me who doesn't deserve her and its us who doesn't deserve to be breathing the same air as she. She was the true definition of pure. She's the love of my life. One day I'll make her a Malfoy." Hermione was speechless and touched by his speech. She cant even hold her tears from glistening from her eyes. " Come on love, lets get you out of hear." Draco excuses themselves to Theo and Daphne and took Hermione home.

He was aware about Hermione self doubts and her lower self-esteem, he always shows how big she meant to him and how beautiful she is to him. He did Hermione always feels beautiful when she's with Draco. No one ever made her feel like that. Draco never forgets to show how much he loves her everyday. He was pampering her like a princess.

Thats why they remain strong. They understands each other and no one ever feels superior towards the other. But the best have yet to come and so does their challenges.

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opendoorlorien · 7 years

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I like reading ur char analysis and would love to see u write on abt ur man (Kaze) ;3c

So…my precious Kaze… He’s…cute…lovely…smart… adorable…irresistible…plus…amazing… Don’t you think so? Oh, so…wild…beautiful…kind… I love him! Hug him… He’s warm and cuddly… Oh, he’s…spectacular…captivating…simply divine… I treasure him… Oops! Look at the time! I’ve kept you too long! Thanks for hearing me out.

Generally I think there’s a difference between characters that are fleshed out and characters who go through actual development. Yes, many times those things coincide, but in Fire Emblem, if you’re not a main character, they usually don’t.

Basically none of the cast of Awakening “developed” in any real sense. Like I mentioned before there were some characters who had little moments or bursts of it (like Chrom and some villains) but no gradually, building arc for any of them. Instead most of Awakening’s cast was fleshed out instead of developed. Meaning, the more supports you saw of them, the more you learned about them (like backstory, where they came from, what they want, ect). There are a lot of characters who have simple archetypes on the outside, but actually have a lot of layers and details to them the further you look, like Henry, Lon'qu, Virion ect.

I believe Kaze is one of the non royal characters in Fates who is not only very well fleshed out, but also goes through some nice character development. Like I said before, Fates did a little better on the character development front with its cast than Awakening. Disregarding the royals, there are some regular units who go places too. The only ones I can think of who go through any real development ON SCREEN are Flora, Gunter and Kaze. Flora and Gunter’s development mostly leads to a bad end (Gunter’s end in Revelations is kind of bitter sweet but I find it a tad more tragic and bitter than anything, though he is sort of heal now and put some demons to rest at least). While Kaze, instead, can have either good end or bad end depending on what YOU do. Which is kinda nice, you know. His character development is interactive lol.

There are also characters like Jakob or Hinoka who go through character development OFF SCREEN which we only find out about in supports and is only told to us. And I dont find these anywhere near as powerful because we dont get to see them happen, not that they’re bad or anything, but lack a bit of poignancy because of how they’re displayed to the audience as told instead of shown.

I’ve heard Kaze described before as a deceptively complex character, and he REALLY is. At first glance he seems like a very simple and straightforward character with a personality to match. But take this from someone who hyper focuses on him, that the more you look into him, the more little quirks and details you begin to find. (Or maybe I can just see it because I’m reading too deep into him lol) Either way, I wouldn’t consider it REACHING at all to call Kaze a complex character. And there’s more to him than just his relationship to Corrin too, but just a bit. Because, of course, Kaze is very largely defined and effected by Corrin AND–as I will be referring to it as–his one big fuck up in Cheve.

But setting Corrin and the effects of that fuckup aside, Kaze’s stoic and serious personality is mainly derived from him being raised from birth to be a human weapon owned and used by nobility, which is basically what a hoshidan ninja is. But out of the three ninjas in Fates, I think Kaze ended up as the most emotionally well off. And I think the biggest defining reason for that is because he didn’t have anything big to live up to. Saizo was messed up personality and emotionally wise because he was groomed from day one to take up the family name, and similarly Kagero fights as a ninja in place of her sickly brother and as to not disappoint her family and bring shame to them. But because Kaze doesnt really have anything like this, I believe his upbringing was a taaaad more chill, and because of that while he does seem emotionally stunted and a little robotic, he still ends up being the most personable, friendly and sociable of the three ninjas. (And I think he’s kind to others and goes out of his way to help them for another reason too but more on that later)

Okay so you can’t really talk about Kaze without also talking about Corrin. Because the shit that happened in Cheve FUCKED HIM UP and pretty much fundamentally changed and made him into who he is today, and the majority of his personality traits can be traced back to that incident. Now why did it fuck Kaze up so bad? A lot of reasons really. Firstly–the big one–he failed his duty. Not only as a retainer (it wasn’t official yet, but it was his JOB then to protect Corrin) but also as a ninja who, remember, are manufactured from day 1 to serve as weapons or menial otherwise for the royal family. So failing in his duty here was an extreme failing for him on almost every aspect as a person. And this is a big blow for him emotionally as well because Kaze is not heartless here, and this fuckup lead not only to Corrin being captured but to Sumeragi being killed as well. It was, in essence, the ultimate failing (if it sounds like I’m blaming him here, I’m not. I honestly think Garon would have found a way to fuck shit up whether Kaze had noticed those soldiers in Cheve or not. But from his eyes, this is how he sees things)

This affected Kaze so deeply that he furthermore refers to this failing as a ‘grave sin’ he’s committed, and one that he believes he can’t and has no right to be forgiven for. The loss of Corrin and Sumeragi then by extension created a huge avalanche effect by ripping a huge hole in the hearts of the Hoshidan family and the country itself, which I’m sure Kaze got to see the full and gradual effects of as the years went by. Ouch. (I’m sure he’s very aware of Sakura’s anxiety and Takumi’s many many issues being after effects of what went down in Cheve also.) AND WAIT, it GETS WORSE. As if this wasn’t bad enough for Kaze who, REMEMBER, was a child at the time, probably no older than 15, knew that Corrin was also being taken away to Nohr. Which is a country he’s only ever heard bad things about, so he had no reason to believe Corrin wasn’t suffering and going through hell there, which in his mind would have been HIS FAULT. (And if he heard any of Azura’s firsthand account horror stories of the place, he had no reason not to believe that Nohr was a hellhole.) So add that to the guilt

So basically, this was the worst thing that could have happened for everyone involved (sans for Garon, or maybe even the Nohr family because they got a nice new sibling) but for Kaze and the Hoshidans? This was beyond rock bottom. It’s no wonder Kaze as a character is so largely defined and also deeply wounded by this incident.

In Kaze’s eyes he’s 100% to blame here, and because he believes he can never be forgiven for this act, he thinks the only way to atone for it is to die. In fact he probably went to Mikoto right after everything went down, told her what happened and insisted on the death penalty. But of course Mikoto is a nice lady so she said pish posh to that Kaze, forgave him, and tried to get him to keep living. Now even though Kaze wants to die, he’s not just going to sudoku or throw his life away needlessly.

To atone for this sin he knows he’d need to give his life away for a reason or an honorable purpose. So instead of just dying he does continue to live, and uses his life for the betterment of others. And this is where his constantly friendly and helpful attitude comes from. Okay now I DO fully believe Kaze is honestly just a nice guy and enjoys helping people, but I also think he makes an effort to go OUT of his way to help people as his own way of atoning for that one big failing even just a little. Like his worth is defined by how he assists others and improves their lives, whether he’s entirely aware of that or not. If he is able to make someone happy and improve their QoL, then it means he’s not an entirely useless failing of a person and a ninja like he thinks he is.

This is also why in turn Kaze has such a low opinion of himself. I don’t think its something you really notice till you take a closer look at his supports and things, but every now and then he drops off handed derogatory comments about himself. That he’s just ‘a lowly ninja’, he humbly denies any praise sent his way just writing it off as “what I did was nothing special”, he marks himself as a determent to things even when he wasn’t. Because of what happened in Cheve, he doesn’t see any worth in himself.

(^he’s talking about chapter 4 here, where he showed up in the map with VULNEARIES for you. So he was only an asset, and yet)

(+this is also why Kaze doesn’t like the affections he gets from random women. THEY see his charm, but he doesn’t. And he doesnt see WHY they think so highly of him. He doesn’t think he deserves the praise and being showered with it makes him feel uncomfortable and upset. Since how can he be a good man when, in his eyes, he’s done so muhc wrong)

So while Kaze is actually a very nice, sweet, helpful and kind well meaning guy, he actually has a REALLY deep self loathing and low opinion of himself. He’s kind of in an eternal rut that he can’t get out of, and doesn’t believe he deserves to get out of. So the only way to really get him out of it is of course Corrin. And luckily they run back into each other again very early on in Fates. Even though Kaze successfully helps in bringing Corrin back home to Hoshido, he’s still not completely healed here yet because his real issues havent really been addressed and RESOLVED. Corrin is back but they still dont know about Kaze’s involvement during that night in Cheve. And Kaze wants to tell them. He wants to let Corrin know about the whole deal (since Kaze is the kind of person who believes talking and communicating about your problems is the healthy and beneficial thing to do–like its one of the main things he does in his support with Saizo) but of course while the wound has kind of closed, it still hurts. He’s perfectly happy with being cordial and friendly with Corrin, but he doesn’t want to open up to Corrin too much because he’s super afraid that if Corrin finds out about what happened in Cheve, then Corrin would hate him. Which is why in their support he goes to lengths to avoid telling Corrin about it.

Their support is really special to me because it addresses a lot of Kaze’s deep rooted personal issues in which NO OTHER Kaze support even attempts at. Think about it, pretty much EVERY single other Kaze support is about Kaze helping someone else. But in Corrin and Kaze’s support, it’s about Corrin helping HIM, which is what he NEEDS more than anything. And it starts simple at first too, like with Corrin noticing he has a low opinion of himself and trying to show him “the good in himself” which he FERVENTLY believes he doesn’t have.

So when Corrin keeps telling him he’s a good person, it actually really upsets him (to the point he’s actually angry??????!!!!! which I think is one of the only occasions in game or any other supports Kaze gets even close to being miffed. Which I think goes to show just how deeply this shit affected him right).

Corrin isnt upset that Kaze got mad with them, but Corrin realizes they bugged Kaze in one way or another so backs off. But Kaze felt super bad about it, so in the A rank he decides to GET THIS SHIT ALL TOGETHER AND TELL CORRIN EVERYTHIN. Luckily for him Corrin is a good person and also pure of heart (and can see everything was just a REALLY bad turn of Fate, not one individual person’s fault) so they IMMEDIATELY forgive him and tell him something important he REALLY needed to hear all these years.

That from the person he failed that night, everything that happened wasn’t his fault.

Corrin encourages him to come to terms with everything and move forward from it. And this is where the concept of Kaze giving his life for Corrin “splits”.

I mentioned earlier Kaze has good end character development and bad end character development. If you get his A rank in every route then GOOD FOR YOU, he’s healed! So now instead of dying to atone for his sin, he decides to devote his life to your well being and happiness (Giving Kaze heal settles him back into the place where he was always meant to be, as Corrin’s retainer. He even says in the A rank that, while he was meant to be a servant and retainer, he was never given a single master to serve like Saizo and everyone else had. And AS a person who was RAISED to be a kind of living weapon or tool, this really disconcerned him. He had no one and nothing to specifically devote to. It’s like he was a tool made for a certain purpose, but that purpose was taken away. So imagine the years he must have spent living in the castle, seeing all the retainer and lord squads together and feeling a sense of loss and emptiness in himself because he didn’t have that and he didn’t know why. I think even the Hoshido family, whether they know it conciously or not, kind of see him as an odd one out and I don’t think they really knew what to do with him aside from menial bitch work like delivering letters and crap.SMH

Anyway, now that he’s got you again his PURPOSE has returned. And he reminds you whenever he can, whether you’re married to him or not, that his life is YOURS now and he’ll give it up if necessary to keep you going.

And he will and DOES.

Now while Kaze still readily says he’ll give his life for you, I think its said in a better spirit than it was pre-healing. I think the difference is illustrated very well in the good end and bad end of Birthright chapter 15.

Where if he’s NOT healed his only thoughts are to get you out of this alive, himself be damned. (He’s also really emotional at the time and not thinking very clearly because of…….obvious circumstances. So in the short window he has, the question is posed to him “save Corrin or save yourself” and of course he gives himself to save Corrin (which I think is even more super interesting if you consider that you married him to someone else who isnt Corrin. Because in this moment, no matter WHO Kaze is married to, if he didn’t get that A rank with Corrin, he is going to die here. Corrin is the only thing that can keep him alive here, and when push comes to shove, Kaze throws away >everything

While if he IS healed Kaze has put most of the emotional anguish and baggage behind him so he is able to think through the tense situation of dangling off a cliff 500000000000000000 miles in the air, and find a way to save THE BOTH of you. Which is definitely the most definitive example between healed!Kaze and nothealed!Kaze. (Although I still do think if it came down to it, he’d still risk everything for Corrin’s life, even if that meant sacrificing his own. It’s just now throwing his life away isnt at the forefront of his mind.)

So with Birthright out of the way, what about that Conquest! Now of course Conquest is a super interesting route for Kaze too because it puts him in another kind of extreme situation. And that is him leaving everything that he ever knew and loved in Hoshido to help you, fight for the dream you believe in, and assist you in achieving your goals. And yes this is another way of Kaze trying to atone for his sin. I think it’s at least half the reason he decides to defect and join you, but he also says he felt your conviction when you fought, and he firmly believes in your justice, and that you are fighting for the betterment of everyone. So he’s not entirely fighting for ONLY you here, but fighting to help you achieve peace in the way you’ve chosen, by going to Nohr.

Kaze is interesting in both routes but I think he’s slightly more interesting in Conquest, and also because BR treats him like he’s dead after ch15 even if you kept him alive.

In Conquest Kaze has two interesting moments, one in chapter 11 where he makes the choice to turn his back on everything in Hoshido for you and go to your side. And in the ninja cave chapter later on in Conquest where we run into Saizo. Which is a nice chapter and I think is executed MUCH better than the Mokushoku crap in Birthright. Firstly because Saizo tells Kaze and the audience that Kotaro is the one who killed their father, which in BR you only find out if you send Saizo to personally engage the dude. And because of that in Conquest, I like to make a point to have Kaze blow the guy’s shit to pieces.

hehe get fucked

BUT post-battle we have a small neato moment too where Corrin expresses regret and says to Kaze “if you hadn’t come with me then you wouldn’t have to fight against Hoshido and your brother.”btw briefly touching on Saizo and Kaze here, or at least how Kaze feels about him. Even though they’re not super personal and close with each other, of COURSE they love each other they’re gd family. I think Kaze’s feelings toward Saizo are mostly respect and admiration. Kaze says in the drama CD he thinks very highly of Saizo and nothing will ever change that. Even if they are enemies, Kaze does what needs to be done to achieve the peace he believes in, and the peace Corrin is fighting for.And that’s what he tells Corrin. Both Hoshido and Nohr are fighting for what they believe to be “justice” (

There’s also the interesting possible circumstance of this happening

This has the potential to be a really interesting scene in A LOT of ways (like, think about this for a sec. Not only is Kaze killing his brother, he’s also taking the Saizo name down with it). So we could have got some neat dialogue or a cutscene here to explore this scene a bit, but unfortunately they were making three games here and this ALREADY happens in late game conquest, so unfortunately the developers just didnt have the time or energy to give us a good scene here.And I get it, like, not everyone is going to have Kaze kill Saizo here. It would have been nice if they got one short exchange here. But, I guess that’s what fanfictions are for.

Now with all of THAT out of the way.

How do I personally feel about Kaze? WELL OHOHOHO*SCREAMS FOR 5 YEARS*

For me, personally. Kaze just does everything in the right way. I’ve had a lot of husbands over the years who I’ve loved in varying states of intensity and over varying periods of time. But I feel like none of those old hoes comes anywhere close to the ‘perfect blend of everything right’ that is Kaze.

If he were a cake he’d be the perfectly made chocolate cake. Sure chocolate cake seems kinda average and “the usual” at first, but imagine you had one which just had the PERFECT amount of everything prepared in the absolute perfect way to the best effect, and the more you dug into it you found like a gooey strawberry center which made the flavor all the more complex and interesting.

Kaze also subverts VERY many of the pitfalls that have made me fall out of older husbands that had similar archetypes to him.

I like serious characters but not characters who are TOO serious (Lonqu suffers from this, and, looking back, Frederick is VERY rigid). But with Kaze? DW ABOUT THAT because he has a spicy and playful side. And he’s also CHILL.

Kaze seems almost obsessively devoted to Corrin which could potentially lead to bad end yandere? DONT WORRY ABOUT THAT, IT TURNS OUT HE’S ACTUALLY A WHOLESOME PUREBOY who respects personal boundaries and doesn’t want to be smothering.

With his personality he might be boring and not go anywhere as a character? (Frederick was kind of like this) DONT WORRY WE’VE GOT A++++ DEVELOPMENT and putting him in interesting character situations.

And any other issue I can think of for not liking Kaze is always subverted in a similar sense. Just everything he does… he does it so right. He may not be a big main character and he may not be pushed to any extreme radical limits like he potentially could be or like some other characters are like Takumi or Xander (again, another place for fanfics) THAT DONT MATTA TO ME BECAUSE HE IS A BEST.

Honestly he’s probably the best husband I’ve ever had and while I generally am fickle and my opinions on things can usually waver and change, I do really hope this love lasts a long, long time. IM ALSO CRYING.

#Anonymous #Kaze #opinion piece #PUTTING THIS IN HIS TAG BECAUSE LOLCHARACTER ANALYSIS #I think Kaze has quite a lot of aspects I could have mini info dumps about #I probably could have talked more about Saizo or something but I'm already dead lol #sorry anon it took me a week to answer this lol #but yeah I basically covered Kaze's general character stuff here #so if any yall dont understand Kaze's entire dealio?#ya understand it now bc here it is #and yeah that part at the beginning is from that creepy Rapidash guy from the Pokemon fanclub #I forget what game he's in LOL #also this is long and if yall read all this yall get a gold star #there are a lot of nice pictures and things #enjoyyyyyy #one of my greatest fears is actually falling out of love with Kaze #I HOPE THAT NEVER HAPPENS #IF ANY OF YALL ARE WITCHES PLS CAST A SPELL SO I LOVE HIM FOREVER #I can also relate to him too #at least on the hating yourself aspect because of a fuck up you made in the past #and feeling you dont deserve good things bc of it #I feel u Kaz #I got kinda emotional writing this also LOL

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