#and she said some like. truly vile things and this person is a Far better person than me bc theyre like. well the way the she feels is sort

[nomaishuttle]

fighting for my life trying to find info abt specificslly being an autistic parent to allistic kids but you search Autistic parent to allistic kids and evrry single thing is ITS SO FUCKING HARD TO HAVE A WEIRD FREAK WEIRD GROSS WEIRD WEIRD WEIRD SCARY ODD BLUNT AUTISTIC CHILD !!! WHEN YOU ARE NORMAL AND GOOD !!! can we all kill ourselves

#i did find a pretty good article im reading through. so ya.. it was a little upsetting at first bc they talked abt like. the author is l #autistic so they were talking abt an interaction they had with an allistic woman who had autistic parents and siblings #and she said some like. truly vile things and this person is a Far better person than me bc theyre like. well the way the she feels is sort #of a mirror of the way i felt growing up in an allistic family. which is fair but also i for shre wouldbe cussed this woman out very much #sry . she was saying shit abt how awful it was to see 2 autistic people presenting and being appreciated by their colleagues and how her #parents were broken and she was Real in a way they werent . like damn sry abt yr childhood but thats like. idk. im trying to be empathetic #but i am a broken and evil autistic person so im having some difficulty 😯 #sry. i have judt been thinking abt it bc i might adopt kids bc idk likee. yk. idk what the womb situation will be and i cant afford to get #my eggs frozen etc. so theres a high chance my kids might not be autistic. which is sort of scary and i wanted 2 try and see testimonies #from autistic parents judt 2 see like. what their experience was #obv ill still love my kids KRNFJFNG even if theyre weird freaky allistics ( #JOKING JOKING JOKING JOKING JOKING sry if my future kids r reading this.) #but yk i just wanted to see some of the things 2 look out for. #bc obviously. some things that are really good for autistic children can feel either stifling or distant to an allistic kid. which you can #say abt anything lol thats every kid but ykwin.

[bewilderedbuck]

Devi vs. David: aka a comprehensive list of every single time ben gross has referred to devi as one or the other (season two edition)

first and foremost: if you missed it, please go check out part one where i talk about devi vs. david in season one. i also want to refer you to these posts: x, x by @catty-words, because they are very well-worded and also very relevant to what i'm about to talk about. i will be referencing some of what cori said in those two posts as well. once again, this is a list of every single time in season two that ben has called her either devi or david, with context + insight, and i am creating this post for myself more than anyone else. expect a season 3 edition in the future; likely sometime next week.

anyways. here goes.

"Devi, I'm all-in."

the first time in season 2 that he refers to her at all,  he calls her devi — he’s opening up to her, telling her that what they have is real and that she makes him better, literally tells her that he stood up to his parents for the first time in his life because of her. he is all-in, even if it means long distance. he wants to be with her, but he is also giving her time to think about it. the use of devi as opposed to david here shows that he’s being vulnerable, that he is serious about her. 

obv we don’t see much of his short-lived relationship with devi, and while i personally believe he did still throw around the david nickname with her (teasingly, lovingly), it does make sense that he wouldn’t use it with her friends while she isn’t present. so, devi.

the way his eyes light up when he sees her. his whole body language changes. he perks right up the second his eyes land on her and the “come here” motion he makes i still have not gotten over and it has been over a year since i saw this scene for the first time. anyways. i mentioned in part one that david belongs to ben and devi and no one else. and here i feel like that shines in a new light. he calls her devi here because they’re in front of people, but more importantly in front of paxton. the last time ben referred to devi in front of him, he called her david (in 1x08, if you were wondering). he was jealous back then, crushing hard and knowing she’s got a thing for pax. but here? he’s secure in their relationship (haha just wait like…ten minutes ben lol then you’re going to be shattered). he thinks she is his. he doesn’t need to take control of the situation by calling her david here.

okay, so obv he’s calling her devi here bc 1) he’s talking to paxton and 2) paxton also just referred to her as devi. but i wanna talk about his tone here. his voice goes up like…three octaves. cracks at the end when he says her name. because as opposed to the last instance he called her devi, he’s nervous here. knows that pax is this ladies man that had caught devi’s eye before, and he’s worried that he’s going to catch her eye again (give it literally two minutes, ben, and then you’ll find out, lol). being around paxton without devi present pulls on his insecurities, because he can’t look over at her and think, “she chose me. she chose me.” (again, she didn’t, but that’s beside the point right now)

“There should only be one choice..."

oof. this stings, tbh. cori mentions it in her posts as well, but here you can see him using her real name as a way to distance himself from her. he says it like it’s a curse, like it’s the most vile thing that could come out of his mouth. he’s hurt, obviously. he was all-in for her! and i think this here helps prove my theory that he’s had feelings for her for far longer than we’re made to assume — like yes, obviously you’re going to be hurt if your significant other cheats on you regardless for how long you’ve been together or how long you’ve really, truly cared about them, but ben is absolutely devastated. i’m not saying paxton isn’t upset, because he is! this is during paxton’s pov episode, so we do hear from miss hadid here that he was upset about the whole two-timing thing. but ben? it absolutely crushed him, because he was that much more invested in devi than pax was. we aren’t sure of the exact timeline, of course, but since they’re still in the first semester of school at this point it’s safe to assume that it’s likely been maybe a month or so since ben and devi started actually being friends. ben’s reaction runs so much more deep than someone who’s only had romantic feelings for that short a time period. (i also want to point out that the scene immediately following this one is where paxton coins the term “crazy devi,” though that’s not particularly relevant to this post.)

"...At the party, you followed him, and you left me behind.”

OUCH. if the last one stung, this one is a punch straight to the gut. using her real name to hold her accountable for her own actions. to show her that she hurt him and that they aren’t okay. i mean, his exact words: “We’re not even. We’re not even close to even.” back in 1x06 he uses david as an attempt to return to their version of normalcy, and here he uses devi to show that they can’t return to that.

okay, obviously i’m going to be referencing this post by cori because she talks specifically of this instance. this is the first use of david we see in season 2, and we are already halfway through the season. while i don’t believe for a single second that ben has moved on from the two-timing incident, he is trying to move on from devi at the very least. as cori says in her post, we only see him refer to her as david after he and aneesa start flirting with each other. i really like how she worded it in her post: “it’s a relic from their rivalry, which makes it both an insult and a way to preserve their years of shared history.” he’s not ready to be best buds just yet, obviously, but he still cares about her.

once again linking cori’s other post that dives into this episode’s use of devi vs. david as well as 2x08’s. here, he’s obviously defaulting to devi because they’re in front of her family, but there’s also the way he says her name in this scene. like he’s using it to hold her accountable for her own actions. his tone after she tries to be lighthearted with, “I don’t know. She could spin that into a pretty good essay,” is disappointed because she keeps messing up. he wants to believe in her, but she isn't giving him any reason to.

 just like cori says in her post, he goes back to david when her family isn’t around. while he is using the nickname as some form of familiarity & closeness, he is still so disappointed in her, because he wants to believe that she’s capable of doing right by aneesa. the wording of “use your brain” here comes off as their usual banter if you don’t take into account ben’s tone, sober and serious. he wants her to do better, not just for him, and not just for aneesa, but for devi, herself, too.

aaand here we are back with another term of endearment david! he’s genuinely pleased with her that she managed to pull off not only the apology, but in securing aneesa’s spot at sherman oaks — not just so he can ask her out, obviously, but because it means 1) aneesa doesn’t have to go through transferring schools again, because ben does care about her well-being and mental health, but also 2) it means devi is capabale of doing good and righting her wrongs. obviously, he doesn’t know that her main motivation was getting ben back, but still, in his eyes, she was able to hold herself accountable and fix her mistakes. not only that, but we are reverting back to banter here! this is such a huge turning point for them this season, giving a good headstart to what i am affectionately going to be referring to as their “besties era” in season 3.

not much to say here, really; just his use of david being an indicator of friendship. however what is interesting is…

"She's, like, super flighty and unstable, and throws away a good man for no reason."

okay, first off, obviously, this is a huge dig at her for the events of 2x02, which i can’t blame ben for, but it’s also so snarky that it comes across like their season 1 pre-friendship banter which is an era of their relationship i genuinely love (mostly bc it all comes across as thinly veiled flirting, but i digress). what is really interesting to me is that he doesn’t call her david in front of aneesa. he doesn’t do it even once. i have said it once and i will say it a million fucking times: david belongs to ben and devi and no one else. he uses it to both 1) take back control of situations when he is feeling uncomfortable or insecure, and 2) when he wants to establish a closeness to devi. the former isn’t relevant here, and he can’t exactly refer to his ex-girlfriend with their version of a fucking pet name in front of his current girlfriend. yeah, you can argue that maybe he just doesn’t want to explain the whole david thing to aneesa, but i think it’s deeper than that. he doesn’t want to establish that closeness with devi while aneesa is present because it starts blurring lines and crossing boundaries in his head.

the next time they’re together, aneesa isn’t around, and he reverts back to david. not even two whole seconds later he opens up a serious conversation, asking about devi’s feelings in regards to working with ben and aneesa. despite the fact that devi was the one to hurt ben! david here, once again, being used to establish closeness, familiarity, friendship. this is also just one of my favorite scenes of theirs, ever, because their smiles are so sweet and so genuine. you can tell how much they care for each other, despite the the events from earlier in the season.

“Devi, when are you going to realize that that dick doesn’t deserve you?”

(okay, i know it doesn’t show him saying devi in the captions, but he does.) BATHROOM SCENE MY BELOVED. this is my number one duo scene of theirs for so many reasons oh my god. the use of devi here, when it’s just them is so significant because during their friendship era, he has consistently referred to her as david when they’re alone. but not here. here she is devi. because he needs her to know what she is worth. he needs her to listen when he tells her that she deserves better than paxton, and he gets her to listen with the use of devi.

#long post #devi vishwakumar #ben gross #benvi #ben x devi #devi x ben #never have i ever #nhie #never have i ever meta #nhie meta #meta #devi vs david

[stuckybarton]

Drive Me Crazy

SUMMARY: You were never a fan of Taxis or any sort-of online transportation service, but another late night in the Museum found you needing to make use of said service.

CHARACTERS: Dark! Jake Lockley x F!Reader; Steven Grant

WARNINGS: Rough Non-Con; Drugging; Sexual Assault; Rape; Somnophilia; P in V; Oral (M receiving); Groping; Breastplay; Choking; Creampie; Mention of Stalking; Reader Dealing With the Aftermath. Heed to this warnings, please. You are responsible for your own media consumption.

WORDS: 5,256

MASTERLIST || JOIN THE LIBRARY || 2K CELEBRATION REQUEST FORM ||

"Go home, Y/N. Do not make me and JB force you out like last time."

It was another late night in your office. Cracking your neck from side to side, relief at the sound brought you a moment of emptiness post rehabilitation to yet another piece discovered. Working as the newest Archivist in London's National Gallery, you did the best you could on a day to day basis. To bring back a fragment of history from the timeless pieces that are discovered and maintaining some to the fullest of your abilities.

Turning your head, Donna, the staff manager, was there with the familiar frown on her lips.

"I'm finishing up," You lied through your teeth with a smile on your face and your signature puppy dog eyes included. It always got to Donna and hopefully this time around it would also be of great use to the much older woman in front of you.

"Sometimes I wonder what gives you the drive to do what you do, you're not even paid to work overtime." She spoke shaking her hand and you could simply shrug as your answer. You simply loved your work. The hours were not much of a problem to you as one might believe it was. Years of working and making a name for yourself had led you to be where you always dream of being in. The very place you had once only been talking about with your parents when you were younger.

Sighing in defeat, you realized that Donna wasn't here for small talks, she wanted to make sure you were kicked out of your office and be done for the day--well, night if you were more specific now. Covering the set piece in the acrylic covers and placing a black cloth over it, you made your way to your desk where your things had been placed. Logging off of your desktop for the day and slipping your planner right back into your bag, your turned to Donna, a satisfied smile on her face knowing you were leaving now.

"I remember someone as enthusiastic as you when it comes to Egyptian History, it's such a shame that he had a few loose screw in the head."

You heard stories in passing about a man named Steven Grant, about how a gift shop clerk had so much knowledge about Egyptian History but had been more well known for the damage he had caused to the Museum, some of which you were still helping in the restoration. A part of you knew that the man was simply misunderstood. Something that no one truly knew about the man, or cared less about knowing about him. Something or someone might just ticked him off to the extreme.

"I'm just hoping he is in a better place and a better state of mind right now."

It was a flaw as many of your co-worker and even family had constantly pointed out. You always saw the best in everyone, no matter how vile and terrible a person might be. They always have some good in them. Call it wishful thinking but you always believe that everyone always has that one bad day that could ruin their day and for the people around them to see.

"Well he better be, he still needs to pay for the damages he's caused." Donna continued on, bored. Her body resting against the frame of your office door, eyes far too focused on her finger nails to have any mind in you and your weak attempt at slowing down in getting the rest of your things. "I always thought he was a nutter." she added as an afterthought.

You sighed, knowing you weren't about to win when it comes to Donna. She had met and worked with the man while you haven't. You haven't even seen the man in person, only the stories of his eccentric way. Your belief was disregarded compared to their own. Finally having ready with your things, you pulled out the keys to your office to finally lock out for the night.

"Ready?" Donna inquired finally turning to you with an expectant look on her face.

"Let's go home, Donna." You smiled pulling down the sleeves to your button down shirt and grazing your hands on your black pencil skirt to wipe away the imaginary dust that lingered before following Donna out, making sure the lock was set on your door and you've finally clocked out. Fifteen hours for the day was worth the small aches in your neck and calves as you finally followed Donna out as she double check everything before logging off herself.

Your black heels clicked on the newly polished floor of the museum front, your eyes gazing on the recovering exhibit that you're finally close to finishing at this point. In hindsight, had it not been for the destruction that Steven Grant has done to some of the pieces in the Exhibits, you would not have been given the opportunity to finally work here in the National Gallery. The silver linings mean the most to you if you disregard the damage and the need to use a bathroom that was at the other end of the museum until the plumbing was finished.

"Finally heading home, Y/N?" J.B. was quick to inquire the moment you had walked towards the reception to where he was stationed.

Your eyes lingered on the number of monitors in his desk, but more bothered by the YouTube video playing on his phone. He may or may not have had a hand to the mess in the museum if you were to be honest. But like what was constantly told in the background, it was no one's fault but Steven Grants.

"Unfortunately." You responded, giving the man a polite smile, peering your head to the entrance and realizing the last bus had passed hours ago which meant you had to deal with either a Taxi or Uber, both mode of transportation you never truly favored.

You let out a groan realizing the mistake of your action. A part of you kicking yourself for not taking your Dad on the offer of buying yourself a car, but knowing the gas and maintenance that comes with it, you couldn't bother yourself with it as much. The traffic wasn't something you want to also deal with you could.

"Late nights means no bus, Y/N. You should be mindful of that from now on." Donna had pointed out appearing besides you. "A pretty thing like you in the streets in this hour just spells trouble."

You could only smile and ignore her words. You were in the more secure side of the city. Even your apartment was that of the safest you would ever believe. The apartment was expensive and the commute can be a nightmare at times, but it was safe. Never once had you found yourself get catcalled or harassed on the street. You hope it would stay that way longer as you enjoyed your new life and career here in London.

"Want to catch a ride with me?" Donna inquired.

She lived the opposite side from where your apartment was. Not only did you not want to trouble her with the extended drive, you never truly wanted anyone from work to know where you live. Learning far too much from your father's warnings and the multiple true crime documentaries was enough of a warning even in your more than optimistic way of life and opinion on people.

"I'm fine. I'll just catch a cab." You answered with a reassuring smile.

Donna with the same deadpan look nodded and made her way into her car. Giving you a tired nod, drove away as you now found yourself standing by the curb waiting for a possible ride home.

The numbing cold of the London air was still something you were getting used to. You were still trying your best to invest on much warmer coats instead of relying on the tops you had on. Your eyes were slowly getting heavy and you had regretted the late night book reading you've done last night as you waited for a vacant cab to drive by. You rolled your shoulders, as the ache was finally coming to haunt you from the tedious workload you forced yourself to do for the day.

Your eyes squinted at the far too bright headlight that had come to your view and without even thinking twice, had hollered for a taxi that was quick to halt right in front of you. A decent looking man, olive skin shadowed by the flat hat he had on. You could barely register his eyes, now focused on you as you made your way inside.

"Where to?" The man inquired, surprising you by the New York-accent instead of the customary British twang. His eyes peered at the rear view mirror, dark brown eyes looking far too intense to your liking.

You told him the address--a few blocks away from where your apartment was. It was better he didn't know your exact location. Just to be safe. A quick jog to your apartment wouldn't hurt anyone, most especially you especially at this time of the night.

Your heavy eyes turned to the window as the car started. The slightly warm air from inside of the car brought a momentary relief to your aching bones. You bent slightly from where you sat and rubbed your aching calves--muttering how your heels was a death trap waiting to happen. You should probably bring flats from now on.

"You don't look like you're from around here." The cabbie pointed out all of a sudden making your jerk your head towards him, his eyes focused solely on the road.

"From across the world." You answered vaguely. "I see you're just like me." You pointed out, making small talk to be polite.

"New York." He answered. "Found something good in London and just never left." He answered.

You nodded. Not knowing what else to say to him.

"New job?" He inquired. "Never seen you around the museum before."

You blinked wondering how he would know such a thing, but then again. People come and go in the museum and he probably had a few in his cab in the past. You decided to not make so much of a big deal about it.

"Just started out, helping in a few Egyptian pieces destroyed by a former employee." You explained. "It was a nightmare for the curators, but it was an opportunity that had me be assigned here. Silver linings, I guess." You shrugged.

"Into restoration or something?" He inquired and surprising you with his knowledge from just a few words you've spoke.

"Something like that." You spoke not wanting to expose more about your line of work.

He fell silent now and you were genuinely relieved by it. You never truly had a good experience with cab drivers or Uber Drivers in your time here in London. If they weren't spewing bigotry or sexist remarks, the array of sexual harassments you've dealt with had steered you clear of using it until it was genuinely necessary. This night was one of those nights and you were thankful the man driving wasn't much of a creep as the rest of them. He was handsome when you took a glance at you, brown eyes with a long prominent nose, olive skin, and puff of curly hair hidden under the top hat of his.

"Son of a--"

Before you could question the man, the sudden impact of the car's brake had you slamming your head through the set in front of you, momentarily disorienting you from your senses.

"Sorry about that, Doll." The man spoke and rubbing the now tender spot on your forehead, you looked ahead to see a few cars collided among themselves, realizing what the both of you had avoided.

"What happened?" You wandered peering through the wreckage.

"A bender from the looks of it." The driver muttered, your eyes looking at the three cars, practically crushed against each other and you wondered had the both of you been a little earlier--or if you had decided to head home before Donna called, would you have been included in the mess in front of you. Bile rose from your throat at the sight of pooling blood from one of the cars--you doubt any of the individuals in the car had survived.

The ringing in your ears slowly ceased as the sound of sirens were there to replace it. The sight of couple of Ambulances came alongside the police made it evident that it would be a nightmare to pass through.

"Would it be fine if we try a different route?" The man inquired.

Checking your watch, it was leaning closer to morning at this point and fatigue finally washing away in your system, you could only nod and allowed the man to put the cab at reverse to try a different route from your usual one.

You winced rubbing your forehead, you could only hope it doesn't bruise tomorrow when you head to work.

"Want some Tylenol for that head?" The driver inquired, eyes looking at the rear view mirror at you. "Saw you took a huge bump from that."

You thought twice about accepting pills from a stranger but maybe it was your head, but you found yourself accepting the small bottle handed by the man. Taking two pills dry, you had handed the bottle back to the man as he continued on driving a different route.

"Thank you--I'm sorry I didn't get your name." You spoke eyes growing heavy but you tried your best to fight.

"Names Jake," He smiled turned to face you as the stop light turned red. "Jake Lockley."

It was like playing Russian roulette when it comes to you.

And all you could remember before darkness could consume you was the car coming to a halt and the darkness in the man's eyes as he looked right back at you.

~

He didn't think it would be easy. His damn luck sometimes. He smiled peering right up to the rear view mirror as soon as he halted right in front of your apartment. Dead to the world, you were.

Y/N Y/L/N, the new Conservator for the National Gallery--or so he had heard from Steven in his conversation with Marc. You were a beauty, too plain and looked too much of a prude, but you had a killer set of ass and tits on you. Doe eyes and from the looks of it when he made a visit to the museum, you looked far too much of a people pleaser--too cheery for his liking too.

But somehow, he still couldn't help himself in looking at you. Every single time, when the clock struck seven, when he drives past the museum, he would see you heading to your usual stop waiting for the bus to lead you home. He may or may not have followed you home a few times, so it was easy to drive you right in front of your doorstep instead of the initial address you've given him. You were a smart cookie, he could give you that--but failed when it comes to accepting unknown drugs from unknown strangers--but then again. You and him, neither of you were much of a strange to begin with. Had it not been for that asshole Marc Spector or the pussy Steven Grant and their powerplay for control of this body, you wouldn't be where you were in this moment--among other things he wouldn't even bother getting into.

Unbuckling his seatbelt, the smirk on his face wouldn't let up with how easy it had been for him to do this, to have you all to himself. An opportunity on the road, led you to him, it was all part of his grand scheme, to fuck everyone over and to get his own slice of heaven the two motherfuckers he had so deal with in this body already had in their life. He killed Harrow as what was agreed upon unlike the two that rejected what was always tasked from them do. Ungrateful pieces of shit they were.

Making his way to the back, his first focus was your bag, rummaging until he comes to the shiny sight of your apartment key, a smirk seeing the still smudged number written on your keys in what he would guess would be your apartment number. Lifting you up in his arms bridal style with your bag as well as his own in his grasp, he had locked his cab and carried you right up. His eyes took a quick glance around, checking for cameras and seeing the lack of one made his job just a little bit easier.

Ridding the elevator, he pressed onto the 6th floor to where your apartment was. His mind was filled with nothing but just satiating his never ending curiosity for you. Your scent, hints of jasmine and the light citrus afternote that slowly grew strong as your unconscious body clung to him. Limp arm resting against his chest, his eyes peeking and was welcomed with the swells of your breast from your unbuttoned shirt. And here he thought you were a prude, you were a little tease too.

As the box finally halted, he had walked slowly, listening to the slightest of sounds, listening for the possibility of a nosy neighbor or worse a far too concern one. Seeing and hearing none, he continued on his journey until he halted at the last door to the left. With the light clink of the key pushed through the keyhole, he smirked as he had opened it without much of a difficulty or a rouse from your neighbors. He walked inside.

Immediately placing you on the couch, he surveyed your apartment, planting a few cameras just for--his amusement, he continued on with inspecting inside. A single bedroom apartment, with a sizeable living room and kitchen, this must have caused you a fortune, but with your line of work this would probably just be change for you.

With his inspection done, seeing no cameras of your own to watch over you, his focus turned right back to you, still deep in your drugged slumber. Lips parted slightly and the ache in his dick grew now that he has you. God, all he wants to do is have you suck him off with those lips of yours.

"Fuck it." He grunts, slipping off his cap and coat. Fuck his plan, fuck his last ounce of control. He will have you one way or another.

He took his time undressing you. It started with your shirt, the loose shirt had hidden so much of your tits, of your shapely body, and that frail neck that his hand was itching to wrap around. He continued on with his ministration of unclothing you one by one. His attention turned to your skirt, how easy it was to just lift it up and fuck you in the couch. He unzipped the office skirt and whistled to himself the shapely legs you hidden underneath. Then his eyes turned right back up to your bra, how they held onto your breast like a glove. His fondled on your fleshy mound, before tearing the small scrap of cloth from your chest, exposing you further to his gaze.

Satisfied with your current naked state, he unzipped his pants, pushing his pants and boxers down. He pulled onto your ankles, maneuvering you until your head hanged on the end of the couch and legs dangled on the couch's back. One hand held onto your jaw, opening your mouth wide to give him entrance to the velvet warmth of your mouth and the other began their assault on your nipples. Pinching and twisting them vigorously as he began to move his hips in a slow, fluid motion, hand letting go of your jaws when he was certain you didn't need much assistance anymore.

The silence of your apartment was replaced with the loud slickness of his cock fucking your mouth, of his rough hands that continued on with their own fixation on your breast, and the light gasping moans that escaped your lips--had he not known about the strong drugs' effects he would have thought you've woken back up.

As he slowly felt his loins tighten, he pulled himself off of you. The line of saliva painting your face was just a sight to see at this point.

He stood and gazing at you, brainstorming how he would finally fuck you, how he could finally make you his. With another pull at your ankles, he placed you on your back on the couch, pulling your panties to the side before lining his dick against your entrance. It took him a moment before finally slipping through your tight hole. It took him a second to get used to your tightness without coming. It was a sight to see, the discomfort in your face even in your sleep. He wanted you to feel this, maybe that way you would think of him, remember him for as long as you were alive.

He thrust into your more rougher this time, harder and garnering a deep whimper from your lips but yet to wake you up. He leant down to your breast, sucking your thoroughly abused nipples until he was satisfied. He pulled almost all the way out, before jackhammering your right through the couch--fucking you deeper and deeper until he was certain you would be walking with a limp in the morning.

The grin on his face grew even more as he watched you--how frail and helpless you were in his arms, in his mercy now. He was gonna fuck you until he was all well and good. It was just this sight of you, squirming now as he continued to fuck you into the soft leather couch, caring less about the mess he was to make out of it once he was done. As his release was slowly drawing close, his gloved hands slowly rose from their grasp on your breasts and wrapped themselves around your neck.

His pace growing frantic as his hands grew tighter, how your once limp hands slowly registering the lack of air, eyes slowly creeping open and you finally registering what was going on. Hand slammed onto your mouth before you could make another sound, as you now begin to struggle against his action. Jake grunted loudly and slammed a few more thrusts before finally giving his release deep inside of you, filling you right up to the brim--Marc and Steven's lack of a sex life was bless he was more than willing to make the most out of.

He moaned pushing himself deeper to the hilt as he finally comes to look you right in the eyes, fear--fear like nothing else in this world was in your eyes now. The tears freely falling and staining your cheeks now. This was an even better sight of you for him.

"You can scream all you want and I can simply break your neck and continue fucking you until I'm fucking done or you're gonna keep that mouth of yours shut."

Slowly he release his hold on your mouth and you did not make a sound. Your body now trembling, the vibration going straight to his cock and he could feel himself growing hard all over again.

"You should never trust people you've met on the streets, Doll." He was mocking her now. "You're lucky I just want to fuck you, most would have killed you after they're done."

He fucked you until the break of dawn, the light that slowly illuminated through the window. He was certain he had finally had his fill of you. He looked down at you, too tired to even look at him. Every single inch of your skin was painted in his cum, sweat, and spit. He messed you up good. How your panties that had been discarded at one moment of the night was still shoved into your mouth as you had tried screaming bloody murder when he began to fuck you in the ass. How he had ruined you for all other men and loved every minute of it

He dressed himself back up, clothes smelled nothing else but sex. He tried his best to clean himself up before with one lingering look at your unmoving body, took his leave, a satisfied smile still resting on his face as he heard the sobs that finally echoed the room before he closed the door.

Cracking his neck, he shoved his free hand that did not have a hold of his bag onto his pocket. Whistling on his way as the stressed of the last few days have finally eased away, something clicked as his eyes rolled and the sensation of something pulling him away took over.

Steven has been in the most random of locations before, but there was something about today that just felt far too off for his liking. Looking at his surroundings, he wondered what Marc had dragged him into this time. Hearing his other alter quiet, he decided not to question it for now, when he's back up he'll try to do a quick inquiry before he heads to the museum in a few days to finally pay for most of the damages he had caused a few months back and look if there was anything new with the exhibits.

All throughout, the tears did not stop. You sobbed, sobbed and sobbed until there was no more tears left to fall. Then you were angry, angry at the man for doing this to you, angry at yourself for letting him do this to you. Angry at not accepting Donna's offer of driving you back to your apartment. Angry for having to stay in the museum longer than was in your paygrade. You loathed yourself for the choices you made, for accepting the pills, for actually riding his cab that night.

As he slowly made his descend down the elevator, there was an inkling deep in his core that something had happened while he blacked out.

~

It took you a few days to be able to stand upright. Having to call your boss hours after your attack, you tried your best to move on. To try to forget everything the man had done to you. How he had impacted you in ways you were not even sure you could move on from. Crawling to the bathroom hours after when you told your boss how you would be cashing in your vacation as you rehabilitated. You tried your best to wash away most of the cum and spit that covered your body, the hint of blood that lingered on your inner thighs, and the flower of your sphincter.

It took you days before you had the strength to move, to act like everything was normal. Act like nothing had happened that night and to finally bring yourself a semblance of normalcy as you dressed yourself, wore your make up like you usually did, adding an extra coat of concealer on your forehead as well as the bruises on your neck and the hickey that painted the column.

It was hard, as you had made your way to the bus in the morning, how the packed bus brought you nothing but dread. What if he was in the bus? What if he was in the road once again, coming after you. Those had been your thoughts all throughout your commute and the moment you had made your way to the museum, the usual bored greeting from JB from security was ignored as you made your way to your office before you go into a mental breakdown at the fear of the possibility.

You tried your best to distract yourself with work. Picking up where you had left off. But even as you had turned the radio on to the max, your mind was still filled with the nightmare of that night.

"Y/N?"

Your head jerked seeing Donna by the door once again and you instinctively looked at the clock, relieved to know it was still noon, a few more hours left of your work day.

"Sorry, just getting up most of where I missed." You tried to reason and Donna was left unamused by your lie.

"Usually people are more relaxed after vacation," Her offhand comment stung but you clenched your hand together and putting on the best smile you could. "But whatever, listen I need your estimate on the damage of one of the exhibits. Steven Grant is finally paying it, thank God." She explained, rolling her eyes at the mention of the man's name.

You nodded making your way to your desk drawer for the logs of the budget of the rehabilitation. Writing the figured onto a post-it note, you made your way to Donna, only to stop dead in your track when you saw exactly who was behind her.

"This is Steven Grant," Donna introduced seeing you look like a deer in the headlights at the sight of the man that now approached you.

But this man--there was something so different with how he stood. It was far from the stature of the man that had made your life a living hell. He even wore different clothes, the lack of the flat hat but the same curly hair and dark eyes. The man in front of you stood like a different man, his back bent forward slightly, shoulder slumped and the confidence in his eyes was now present but an apologetic gaze.

"I do apologize for the mess up." It was the final nail to the coffin, how his voice and his accent was different. It was like you were looking at a different man in front of you.

"It's fine." You spoke, hoping your voice did not betray your fear and apprehension for the man.

"I will pay for everything in full. Got me self a good inheritance from a distant relative and I wanted to make sure I wipe off all my debt before I go." The man explained.

You could only nod, still apprehensive by the man. But from the stories Donna had spoke about the man--how he could not even hurt a fly, but the damage he has done, there could be a possibility?

"And I just wanted to ask if there will be any new exhibits by the next fall?" He inquired, eyes falling towards one of the bust you were restoring.

"A few, I am still trying to coordinate with the curator about the next one. But it's coming soon." You explained watching how his eyes brighten at the news.

"Then I'll be hoping to see more of it soon, Doll." He smiled a twinkle in his eyes as he had left with Donna following closely behind.

You shook your head, maybe it was just coincidence or if your head was messing with you. You've always heard how trauma messes with the head and one's perspective. But as the logic was trying its best to reassure your mind that it was not the same man, you find yourself weak in the knees.

Doll.

It was the same moniker he called you that night.

#jake lockley x reader #jake lockley smut #dark! fic #jake lockley x you #jake lockley x reader smut #jake lockley #jake lockley x y/n #jake lockley fic #jake lockley x female!reader #jake lockley one shot #dark! jake lockley

[madamefeu]

Seeing you rightfully call out the utter bullshit of Akito's "redemption" has me heated. The story becomes irredeemably bad the moment the forgiveness shit is pushed. Takaya is on my shit list for life for how she handled Tohru's character, she is my favourite I love her compassion for people and her determination to never give up despite how difficult things can be plus her learning to move on from her crippling grief resonates with me. The ending Takaya gives her is fucking vile Tohru forgiving and befriending Akito is bullshit and my mind is never going to change on that. The sole reason Tohru wants to break the curse is because she sees how much her friends are suffering under Akito's abuse both mentally and physically. She would never be so inconsiderate of their feelings as to befriend the person who hurt them so much. That's not even getting to my other major problem with this storyline Tohru never even learns about half of the horrific shit Akito does to her friends, Takaya intentionally has her character be left in the dark. Not to mention how abusive akito is to HER!

She manipulates her the first time they meet and then at the beach house she threatens her and scratches up her face. Tohru outright admits she is scared of her. Then towards the end of the story akito then has the audacity to blame her for the zodiacs not loving her despite that being the consequences of her own disgusting actions. She shows up at the house to hurt and potentially kill Tohru, she slaps her multiple times, stabs her and pushes her close to the cliffs end directly putting her in danger. Akito almost gets the poor girl killed. Akito spends the entire story being an abusive monster to Tohru and the people she loves. And nearly leads to multiple characters dying, Takaya really wants us to think a friendship Between the two of them is cute because they both relate to being lonely???? And that the characters apparently aren't that different to each other???When they clearly are. Tohru is a kind and compassionate person who helps those around her while Akito is a manipulative snake who treats those around her like they are her possessions. Tohru grows up being bullied and alone. Akito is a child abuser and commits multiple attempted murders. Trust me Takaya these characters aside from them having tragic backstories and fears of abandonment are as far away from each other as you can get. The friendship is disgusting, Akito is an evil bitch period she is not Tohru's problem or her responsibility. Also Uo and Hana being friends with her after they find out she nearly killed their best friend and Kureno was also so gross. The characters do some of the most OOC shit in order to give Akito one of the least deserving redemption arcs i have ever seen. It is truly some of the most atrocious, insulting writing, Takaya should be embarrassed for thinking this was an acceptable way to end the story.

I haven't read the spin off but Akito having a child just reinforces that she is still the same selfish person she has always been. Her wanting to have children but deciding not to because of how they would suffer due to her terrible actions would actually mean she has to live with the consequences of what she has done. but of course we can't have that. Anyway i just wanted to vent because I love this story but the ending will always leave a bad taste in my mouth. Tohru and the others deserved so much better for all the abuse they endured and Akito should rot in prison for her crimes. I really don't care that the final message is meant to be about forgiveness some things are just inexcusable. If you are reading this hope you have a nice day and thanks for listening.

100% agree with every single thing you said. Akito deserves nothing but a lengthy jail sentence for everything she’s done. She gets away with everything, and does nothing to deserve anyone’s love or forgiveness. Screw her, and screw Natsuki Takaya for being such a blatant abuse apologist.

#fruits basket is fundamentally problematic for this reason #anti akito #fuck this anime #Fruits basket

[septembersghost]

As a WOC I get some of the critiques for Taylor but based on the timing of all this, it does feel sometimes like I’m being used as an excuse to say every filthy thing possible about Taylor. It’s okay to give her a little grace. And the other thing I’ve noticed is even pre that guy people were already being terrible about Taylor the minute Joe was gone. So it kind of makes me feel terrible for her that she really needs a relationship for people to treat her a bit better.

i hear you, you do not deserve to be used as a shield or a prop for people whose central intent is to bash her just because they hate her in general. that's not uplifting or amplifying you, nor anyone.

it's related to why i've been so upset that people are calling m*tty a n*zi - criticize him, criticize his gross and bigoted actions, but the moment they start to misuse very heavy terms like that, terms that have significant meaning, then any rational argument and criticism loses all its weight, and they're making the situation worse. (i wrote a long post about this a couple of weeks ago and then made it private because i was afraid of being attacked on here, which in and of itself speaks to how toxic the conversation had gotten, where we couldn't even speak up and explain why certain parts of it had become harmful).

anyway, the people doing this, talking over woc or other marginalized fans, using inflammatory rhetoric, they don't actually care that any of us were hurt or concerned, they only want the excuse to hate her. it's not fair that anybody should be used to further that toxicity rather than being centered as a person, and it's wrong to see our identities fractured and wielded to tear her apart when that's so far away from what we were trying to talk about when this started. it's very clear to me now how much of this was driven by people who were anxiously awaiting the day they could attack again, to swarm at blood in the water. the vile things being brought back up and said with no hesitation about her, the people openly hoping for her to come to harm, i wouldn't trust a single one of them to truly care if we needed them, you know? because they have done nothing but exhibit a complete dearth of empathy, and vicious enjoyment at ripping a woman to shreds. the impact that all the old accusations have had, all the cruel and sexist press we thought we'd moved past, was just lingering beneath the surface waiting to be pulled up again. i find it very disturbing and unpleasant.

it also makes legitimate criticism difficult because everything always reaches this tipping point, where it goes from rational and thoughtful discussion to unfiltered vitriol. how do we find a balance where we can fairly say, this is why this is upsetting and needs to be taken into account, when everyone ends up turning it into hyperbolic rage like, this person is a disgusting evil narcissist untalented slut and i hope she dies. those are nowhere near the same universe of a conversation!

"it kind of makes me feel terrible for her that she really needs a relationship for people to treat her a bit better." and have you noticed how people define her completely by the man she's with? i said this to a friend, but anyone who believes that sleeping with a dirtbag has ruined her forever is outright perpetuating the most old-fashioned kind of puritanical shaming, where women are judged and seen as tainted because of men. it's awful, it's a really awful mentality to see still happening!

and yeah, it started brewing the moment she and joe broke up. that is not to say she has handled all of this well, there have been a lot of missteps, bad choices, and bad optics, and some of that is probably directly because of the fact that she's struggling with a destabilizing change in her life. we can understand that while not excusing all of it. people are rarely black and white, and this situation has been complicated. disappointment doesn't mean not showing someone any compassion at all. "It’s okay to give her a little grace." i completely agree, and thank you for saying that, you are obviously a kind and thoughtful person. <3 i hope you've been doing okay.

#anonymous #letterbox #i have so many thoughts about the terrible way this has turned and how upsetting it is to see it #thrown out speeches

[rys-redcrackle]

As Time Passes By - Chapter 1

Author's note: yo! I promised I would post this last month but then I forgot. Sorry.

Also, some stuff about how this story works: the chapters are divided into different points of views, mostly Carmen and Graham's, but I might throw in different characters to spice things up!

Also there's no schedule. Good luck.

Additional note: This may be wishful thinking, but if you would have any art/headcanons/whatever for this AU, I'd LOVE to see them! Tag me or send an ask!

Taglist: @redxcrackle @grahamcarmen @willowss055

Carmen

Everything around her became a blur of speed, and the suspicious clanking of the rusty old vehicle was beginning to worry her. 

Ten years. She had been fighting VILE for ten long years. 

And just three days ago, it was all over. Every last trace of VILE, those who were alive and practising at least, was put behind bars and was given the choice of therapy and rehabilitation. 

And Carmen's work was finally done. 

Which is why she had taken the earliest plane back home. To finally live without having to worry about VILE in the back of her mind. To make up for lost time with her mother. 

"Red, have you reached yet?" 

"About to." She peered out of the windows of the taxi, trying to determine how far she was from her mother's orphanage. 

"Sorry, can't hear you over the noise that rusty-ass car is making," Player said seriously, and Carmen gasps in mock horror. 

"Don't bully the poor thing! Player, I thought you'd be better than this!" She teased, and Player laughed. 

"I can't believe it's all over." He suddenly said, veering the topic off course, with the same momentum as the rusty taxi Carmen was in when it took a sharp turn. 

"Right? We'll be able to talk to each other like normal people now!"

"Normalcy is a social construct, I’d never willingly be normal,” He joked back. 

“You know what I’m talking about,” She paused for a second, and continued, “Also, I wouldn’t either.” 

“I know,” He nodded, and an easy silence fell over them. 

"Every last operative… " He murmured, and Carmen reminisced. 

Back to her VILE Academy days, back to her daring escape, back to when she first met Zack and Ivy, back to those late night room service shenanigans, back to her crew's elation at their HQ, back to her father figure Shadowsan, who was currently back in Japan with his brother, back to Jules (what more could be said?), back to when she first met her mother, back to everyone who had helped her each step of the way, and she knows that she had never been alone. 

One particular memory she carefully avoids is him. It is too painful to think about, he is too painful to think about. 

Carmen had no idea whether he still practiced crime. From what she had heard, he had played a key role in her rescue, he turned himself in for a chance to bring her back to her senses, and did it all with nothing to gain for himself. 

She had to admit, this was unusual behavior for him. Graham Calloway was not the most selfless person on earth, and he didn't even ask for a pardon. Just her back in charge of herself. 

And he wasn't under any obligation to do it, either. By all accounts, they were still enemies, on opposite sides. Even if he had wanted to return her back to normal, he wouldn't have been able to do so without much threat to both of their lives or memories, his especially. 

And here she was, left with so many loose ends concerning this godforsaken man that nobody bothered to tie up. Chief was right, the man truly was an enigma, behaving on his own interests on one day and giving it all up on the next. 

Speaking of Chief, didn't she tell her that Gray was alive? To be completely honest, Carmen didn't fully believe her. 

For starters, she had tried to track him down in Australia. According to Chief, he had fallen completely off ACME's radar, and the last she saw of him was in Australia. She didn't intend on meeting him or talking to him or complicating things further, just a quick glimpse to ensure his aliveness. 

But no, every lead led to a dead end. She had Player on her side, helping her, but nope. Gray was nowhere in Australia. 

Secondly, how could he have predicted their plan going wrong and adjusted his weapon accordingly? How could he have known that she would-

Oh no. It is this memory specifically that she hated. 

Why didn't it just leave her in peace? Didn't she have enough to deal with, seeing as she threw Zack off a roundabout and tried to kill Shadowsan as well? DID LIFE HATE HER SO MUCH-

But hey, at least Zack and Shadowsan had the decency to not die, right? AND she got to see them and talk to them everyday, albeit over the phone. Gray just… left. There wasn’t even any closure- 

“Miss? We’re here.” The driver's voice snapped her back into reality. 

"Oh, uh, yeah. Thank you." She handed the driver his fare and stepped out. 

"Finally home, eh?" Player smiled warmly. 

She laughed. "That's the first time I've heard you say 'eh'." 

"Shut up," He replied airily, "That's what you chose to focus on?"

"Well, then, I'm choosing to focus on… " She looked at the path that led to her mother's orphanage, "... that."

Her footsteps echoed down the cobbled street that led home. Apprehensively raising her hand, she knocked the door sharply, twice. 

At once the door opened, and before she knew it, Carmen found herself in her mother's tight embrace. 

"Carmen, you're back! ¿Estuvo bien el viaje?"

"Mamá, estoy bien!" Carmen laughed. "The trip was fine too, it went by pretty fast." 

"You must be hungry. Come inside."

~~~ 

She hummed a small tune under her breath, her hands tucked casually in the pockets of her hoodie. 

Her mother had asked her a multitude of questions, ranging from whether she was hungry to whether she was back for good. Spoiler, the answer to both of them was yes. 

Now she walked down the streets to her favorite cafè back when she had first arrived, six years ago. She wondered if it was still open. 

To her delight, it was! The small, street-corner coffee-shop had grown since she had left, now boasting a bunch of chairs and tables outside as well, and just getting expanding in general. 

A person she hadn’t seen before was manning the counter, and- WAIT. 

WAS THAT GRAY?! 

She baulked at him, quickly looking him up and down, assessing him internally. If this was really him, he’d… changed. A lot. 

His brown hair seemed more relaxed. Instead of his usual spiky ‘do, it lay in its natural wavy state, although the bottom was shorter now. 

It was the same face staring back at her, but if this really was him, he’d gotten a few new scars and rectangular glasses and- oh. 

You see, eight years (Eight years already? She couldn’t tell, it had been so long) was enough to change a man drastically. 

But it wasn’t enough to change the colour of his eyes from a warm, shining brown to… green.

Oh, so she hated green now? She reprimanded herself internally. This was just some random employee, it wouldn't be fair to be harsh on him. Guy doesn’t even know what he did. 

Still. How dare he resemble Gray so closely. 

Or maybe she was remembering Gray wrong? She didn’t know, it had been a while? Maybe, just maybe, her view of him was so damaged and distorted by now that she wouldn’t- 

“What would you like to have, ma'am?”

She startled at the sudden cheerful voice interrupting her train of thoughts and before she knew what she was doing, a strong fist connected to his face. 

#cs as time passes by #red crackle #redcrackle #carmen x graham #carmen x gray #graham x carmen #mine #gray calloway #graham calloway #as time passes by cs #atpb cs #cs 2019 #cs au #carmen sandiego #carmen sandiego 2019

[iboulderdash]

HOKAY, SO

I'm prepping my ol' Tumblr account here as Twitter eats shit. It'll take some work to fully customize things and the like, but for now, this is a start.

I will be disassociating from the iBrony days and the... Conservative things I said. Nothing racist, thank god I was never that far down the rabbit hole, but I was conservative nonetheless. This'll be the only time I'll get political to explain.

I was conservative because it was how I was raised. I didn't understand politics as much at the time and just trusted what my mom would say. While ultimately a good woman, she does buy into the propaganda the GOP and the like spewed and it trickled down to me. I did post some things here on Tumblr a long time ago that while not offensive outright, I was vocal about Obama in my corner here.

Those are days I now rebuke.

I have the Trump administration to thank for letting me see the light of what the Republican party has become these days, a cesspool of hypocrisy and manipulators who use old fashioned values of community and family to then twist and turn the people who vote for them, distracting them while they fleece their pockets and get away with so much more. Yeah, the only good thing to come from the Trump administration is that they turned me Democratic.

I would say deep down, I'm still the person I was back then and that my affiliation change is now a better representation of who I always been. I always believed in treating people with kindness, respect, support, and to do your best to grow into a better version of yourself. I tried over these years to become a better person of myself, recognize my mistakes (justified or no), learn from them, and becoming more.

And yes, I'm sure some people would argue I was a bad mod. Maybe I didn't go about some things the right way, which I will own to. Yet on the other hand, there were some truly nasty and vile people who treated their fellow people as trash and would sling some very hurtful words my way not out of correct criticism, but because they're just a terrible person. I'm not mod of any site anymore and allow me a moment to express my true feelings now that I don't have to set an example for other people and so carefully have to choose my wording to be as inoffensive as possible.

"Fuck you."

You've no idea the times I wanted to just ban someone because they got in my nerves. If I had a nickel for any time that happened, modding would've been a pretty sweet gig instead of volunteer work.

But those days are past me and I have absolutely no intention of doing that again. I rather now just chill out in my own corner, not having the burden of responsibility to get involved in other peoples' business and getting trashed on for just doing my job. Irony is that it wasn't the members who broke me there, but rather my fellow friends on staff... but that's a can of worms I don't want to ever open again. Let's leave it at that I was asked to come back when I retired to help with a particular situation, told them what I needed to get it done and upfront on a particular policy, they agreed to it, but backed out when it came to cash the check. It was a very painful situation.

So yup, that's that. Gonna keep that in the past and just set up my bunker and network with the people I want to follow as I pull out a lawn chair and watch the multi billionaire recoil from a very costly mistake. I got butter lovers popcorn.

[ladyartemesia]

The Praetor

◐ PART VI of THE ALPHA ◐

◐ Series Masterlist ◐

◐ Part I ◐ Part II ◐ Part III ◐ Part IV ◐ Part V ◐

Pairing: Alpha Werewolf Jimin x Omega Reader

Rating: Hard Mature 18+ (for this installment)

Warnings: sexual content including grinding and marking, some light (and totally consensual) manhandling, ABO sexual dynamics including discussion of scenting, marking, mating, and claiming. Violence and discussion of violence relating to ritual combat, possessive behavior, injuries and discussion of injuries

Special Note: Yoonji and Yunli are NOT the same person. Yoonji is Yoongi and Yunli’s cousin. She is sometimes affectionately called “Ji-ah.”

Word Count: 5500 (wow)

Author’s Note: Life has been really hard. I won’t beat around the bush. It was hard to do anything... but your kind words and support really kept me going. Truly you guys straight up manifested this chapter with your incredible support. As always, my angels @ppersonna​ @xjoonchildx​ @untaemedqueen​ and @underthejoon​ were the best betas and the best friends anyone could ask for. My thanks to ALL of you for helping me bring this story to life!

“Alpha.” 

Namjoon’s voice echoed through the clearing with profound resonance. 

There would be no more fighting. 

There would be no more doubt.

It was a complete surrender, the kind only a true Alpha could compel. 

A frantic whimper suddenly split the air, drawing every eye to you-

 But you saw only him. 

“Untie me,” you pleaded, struggling impatiently against the restraints. 

One of the elders moved to release you, but before she could, Jin produced a knife and cut you free with the kind of terrifying precision expected of a man who was every bit as deadly as he was beautiful. 

Then you were running - and this time, no one could stop you. 

Your body crashed into his and fiery joy shot through you as he pulled you into his arms. 

His scent wrapped around your senses like a warm blanket, covering the fear and pain of the past days in unimaginable relief. 

 “Jimin.”

“I’m here. I have you,” he whispered. 

Your entire frame seemed to shake as you sobbed against his chest. It was as if you could not draw close enough - could not hold tight enough - to be satisfied. Part of you was still terrified that you would wake up and discover that all of this had been a dream...

Then you heard it.

Another set of knees hitting the ground. 

“Alpha.”

Then another-

“Alpha.“

And another 

“Alpha.”

Till the air was filled with hundreds of voices, all speaking the same word.

“Alpha.”

Namjoon remembered very little of what happened after his surrender...

Just pain. 

His limbs seemed oddly disconnected from the rest of his body. There was blood everywhere (and he was reasonably sure it was his). 

He knew he should feel defeated, broken - ashamed even.

Instead he felt strangely...

Light. 

As if a great weight had lifted from his shoulders. 

The last thing he saw before losing consciousness entirely was Yunli’s tear-stained gaze - still fixed on him - even as the others turned to face their new Alpha. 

He breathed out her name in a quiet, desperate plea as the darkness overtook him. 

Jimin was only in your arms a few moments before healers and half the elder’s council came rushing forward on all sides. 

You snarled instinctively at the first elder who tried to collect him, but a healer eventually got close enough to reason with you after pointing out that the wound on his shoulder could possibly become infected if left untreated for much longer.

An Alpha’s injuries always took the highest priority, but Jimin directed them all toward Namjoon, brushing away anyone who attempted to tend to him. 

By that point Jin and your mother had found their way to your side and were gently trying to pull you back - even as more elders reached for your mate. 

Everyone was speaking at once - words about preparations and plans and ceremonies - but none of it registered over the waves of frantic adrenaline still pounding through your system. 

You didn’t know what they wanted or why they were so close-

just that they were trying to take him away again. 

No. 

Suddenly a senior elder placed his hand on Jimin’s forearm and your wolf snapped entirely. 

Omegas were known for their speed and as a Luna, yours was unparalleled.

Two council members and a healer went flying into the dirt within the space of a single second as your body instinctively assumed a defensive stance. The remaining elders stumbled back in alarm and your mother fainted dead away forcing Jin to catch her rather inelegantly. 

Your canines began to lengthen as you pressed your back to the Alpha, letting primal rage guide your movements. 

They had tied you up. 

Forced you to watch as he was attacked again and again and again-

An omega would defend their mate to the death and you had spent days knowing he was in danger...

Feeling powerless, feeling paralyzed- 

Your wolf had simply had enough. 

“Luna please-“ the chief elder began cautiously, but you cut him off with warning growl and lunged - fully prepared to end the next person who attempted to separate you from-

Strong arms closed around you, pulling you back to the comforting warmth that enveloped you moments ago.

Jimin. 

“Luna,” he whispered against your skin and you shivered, letting your eyes flutter shut. 

Then you felt it. 

The gentle pressure of the Alpha - your mate - nosing softly at your neck. 

It was a gesture of soothing affection. 

Of gratitude. 

Slowly he turned you in his arms till you were facing him once again. The fire in your blood began to fade as you simply took him in, struck by the sensual beauty of his face and the possessive heat in his gaze. 

“So fierce,” he hummed, tilting his head so you could bury yourself in his scent once more. His hands brushed soothing circles over your back, leaving delicious sparks of pleasure in their wake. 

“I’m safe,” he promised as you nuzzled into him needily. “You can rest now...” 

The pleasant pull of his command wove heavily through your senses. You felt your feet leave the ground as he lifted you fully into his arms...

Then you slipped into a blissful sleep. 

The healers worked for hours on Namjoon. 

Some betas were blessed with minor healing abilities - a valuable gift stemming from a type of energy transference. He could feel the heat of their hands as they poured themselves - literally - into mending his battered body.  

His ribs were set and wrapped tightly and the swelling and bruising were already beginning to fade due to the assortment of vile tasting herbal concoctions they insisted on ramming down his throat. 

Accelerated healing and potent herbal intervention truly went a long way, but it would take time and rest to restore him fully.

Despite his lingering soreness, Namjoon was finally lucid enough to think for the first time since the fight and there was certainly a wealth of things to think about…

Yet his mind kept going back to that moment-

To her. 

“Kim Namjoon.”

Every hair on his body raised to attention. 

“Alpha-” 

He struggled to pull himself upright, but Jimin placed a hand on his arm to still him. 

“Please,” he spoke softly, “let me sit. I’ve caused you enough trouble for one day.”

A painful chuckle stuttered out of Namjoon and he shook his head. 

“Shouldn’t I be the one saying that? We both know this is entirely my fault.”

Jimin’s eyes dropped in reluctant amusement.. 

“You think rather highly of yourself,” he said with a barely perceptible grin, echoing his words in the chief elder’s chambers a day - a lifetime - ago. “I believe I had something to do with it as well.”

Namjoon laughed and winced immediately. He rubbed gingerly over the binding on his ribs before voicing the question that had plagued him from the moment he awoke. 

“How quickly?” 

The Alpha tilted his head in confusion. “I’m not sure I understand.”

“How quickly,” Namjoon grunted, pulling himself to an upright position, “could you have killed me?”

There was a strange sort of acceptance in his eyes, a profound and untainted respect that Jimin was wholly unused to receiving from a man like him. 

It was equal parts humbling and overwhelming. 

“The first hit... a little to the left - at full force -  would have fractured your sternum and penetrated your heart.  You’d have been dead in a matter of minutes.”

Namjoon was silent for a long time. 

“Why did you spare me? ...I challenged you, threatened you, intended to lay claim to your mate which-” he rubbed idly at the back of his neck, “I’m beginning to understand is enough to enrage any man… So why am I still here?”

“Because,” Jimin sighed, “apparently I think very highly of you too, Kim Namjoon.”

“Well… I’m flattered, but I - I still don’t understand… I’ve done nothing but underestimate you. Most wolves would have made an example of me.”

“Oh I intend to make an example of you,” Jimin smiled and Namjoon felt his blood run cold for the briefest instant, “but not in the way you’re thinking.” 

The Alpha’s eyes took on a strangely solemn light. “I have no intention of ruling through fear and violence.”

After a moment, his gaze met Namjoon’s again. 

“You were right… Without your challenge, the pack would never have trusted my leadership. You were the obvious choice to be Alpha and without defeating you decisively, they would always look to you as an alternative.”

Namjoon eyed his collection of injuries sardonically. 

“Something tells me you won’t have that issue now.”

“And I have you to thank for that.”

“So … you spared my life in gratitude?”

“I spared your life because it was well worth sparing. You have always led your clan with honor and dignity. You don’t strike me as someone who enjoys killing, yet you were willing to do so for the good of our people. Such a man is a far better example alive than he is dead.”

Namjoon could not help but be impressed by the younger alpha’s insight and perception. 

Our goddess has chosen well. 

“I am grateful for your mercy, Alpha... Though I’m sure there are some who believe I should have chosen death over the disgrace of defeat.”

Jimin’s jaw clenched. . 

“Defeat is not a disgrace. I have learned some of my greatest lessons from it. Defeat is often a vital stop on the path to victory.”

The elder alpha grinned. 

“I wouldn’t know. This is the first time I’ve lost.”

Jimin laughed and Namjoon’s impish smile suddenly became oddly serious. 

“I want you to know…  You have my loyalty - without question - and not simply because you spared me. It is clear that you were meant to lead.”

A subtle hint of awe crept into his tone as he continued. 

“Honestly… I’ve only ever heard stories of primal alphas. I never thought I’d meet one,” he snorted, “or be foolish enough to fight him.“

Jimin drew back in confusion. 

“I’m not familiar- ...I’ve never heard of a primal alpha.”

“Really?... Well ...I suppose that makes sense. I forgot how often you skipped camp.” He sighed and shifted into a more comfortable position before answering. 

“A primal alpha is goddess-blessed. They cannot be compelled. Their command is powerful enough to compel members of other packs and even non-wolves. It is a rare gift.”

Jimin’s face easily betrayed his shock. 

“I-...That’s-” he shook his head. “Why do you believe I have such a gift?”

“I suppose the first hint should have been your coloring. Silver wolves are never born to mundane destinies... But the real proof is in your eyes.” Namjoon leaned back against the headboard, quietly reliving the moment he discovered the depth of Jimin’s ability. “When you commanded me to yield, your eyes flashed gold. It’s the true sign of a primal alpha... of a king.”

King. 

The word fell heavily between them. 

A human king was a politician, a figurehead whose power became more symbolic as the ages passed. 

But to the wolf nations, a king - an Alpha - was the heart of their pack. A warrior who bore the burden of leadership alongside his Luna. 

The power of a wolf king was quite real. 

The Alpha shifted uncomfortably 

“I never thought I would be a king.”

“And I never thought I wouldn’t be.” His eyes dropped to his hands. “I’m not quite sure what I am anymore.”

“Perhaps I can help with that.”

Namjoon’s gaze met his with cautious curiosity. 

“Oh?”

“You said yourself I skipped Alpha camp every year. I may have been destined to lead, but I won’t pretend that I’m completely prepared for it.”

All at once Namjoon realized why Jimin was there. 

The transfer of power was a long and intricate process that should remain essentially uninterrupted until its completion. 

There could only be one reason the Alpha had come to his bedside. 

He was here to appoint his Praetor. 

A Praetor wielded nearly as much authority as the Alpha. In terms of pack hierarchy, only the Alpha outranked him (or her). The commitment required was immense. Their role encompassed everything from ‘chief advisor’ to ‘the last line of defense.’

Praetor were expected to cut all obligations to their own clan and serve only the Alpha. They were an extension of his authority and vision. It was a lifetime appointment which could be extremely dangerous (depending on the number of territorial disputes one’s pack might be involved in). 

If anything were to happen to the Alpha, a Praetor would assume the responsibility of protecting the Luna and ruling by her side (without any romantic obligations as Praetor often had their own mates) until their death. 

“What about Taehyung?”

Jimin shrugged. 

“What about him? I assure you, he has no interest in this at all.” A small smile tugged at the corner of his lips. “Besides, he serves me well as a best friend... A Praetor must be willing to disagree with me from time to time without worrying too much about my feelings. They must be in tune with the needs of the pack. Kim Taehyung is a good man… but he isn’t the right one. Not for this.”

The elder alpha considered his next words carefully. 

“What you’re asking is no small request.”

“True,” Jimin nodded, “but how about this…” he grinned mischievously, “I promise to put in a good word for you with Min Yoongi when he finds out what you’ve done to his little sister.”

“I haven’t done anything to his little sister.”

“Yet.”

Namjoon cleared his throat guiltily. 

“You realize this means we’ll have to talk every single day.”

“It’s a sacrifice I’m willing to make for the good of the pack.”

Namjoon laughed and Jimin smiled back, more sure than ever that he was making the right choice. 

After a moment the Alpha held out his hand in an age old ceremonial gesture and finally voiced the question he had come to ask. 

“Kim Namjoon, will you forsake your place in the clan of your blood to serve your Alpha and your pack as Praetor. Will you protect my blood as your own and fight by my side till the paths of our lives be complete?

Namjoon’s gaze locked with his as their palms met, letting the force of his resolve color each word. 

“I swear it shall be so.” 

It was well past noon when you stumbled from your bedroom to find Jin spread luxuriously over your kitchen island, popping berries into his mouth like a debauched satyr. 

“I feel very odd…” you yawned, “almost like I-”

“Attacked half the elders council in a fit of horny rage?”

Your jaw dropped. 

“I did no such thing!” A few choice memories began to flood back and your staunch defensive tirade stuttered in shock. “Wait...Did I-”

“You did.”

“I wouldn’t call it horny rage,” you muttered, massaging your temples as you struggled to process your own actions. 

“I don’t know, the whole thing looked very horny to me.”

“Everything looks horny to you.”

Jin grinned but didn’t bother denying it. 

“What do you remember?”

“I remember…” you pulled a water bottle from the fridge and took a long drink before answering,”...Jimin’s victory... People kept trying to take him away and then-”

Heat streaked across the back of your neck as you recalled the press of his lips on your skin.

“Oh...”

You shivered deliciously.  

Jin sighed. “Yes, you were quite the spectacle. Who knows how many throats you would have ripped out if the Alpha had not intervened.”

“Oh goddess,” you moaned, burying your face in your hands. “He probably thinks I’m a lunatic.”

Jin rolled his eyes. 

“I wonder if there is a celestial punishment for smacking the Luna upside the head.”

“Punishable by death - for sure,” you pouted, “and why would you even want to do that?”

“Because you’re an idiot. The man risked his life for you in ritual combat and then carried you home in his arms all the way from the sacred circle like a fairy tale princess.”

“He... he did?”

Your cousin nodded and tossed another berry in his mouth. 

“The whole scene was so disgustingly romantic. I would have swooned if I wasn’t left to haul your mother back. Honestly I think I threw out my back.”  

“And - and the pack?”

“They were free to swoon since they weren’t carrying your mother and most of them did. The man has become a bit of a legend already. Namjoon is one of the strongest alphas in the mountain kingdoms and Park Jimin dispatched him like it was nothing.” He paused to dab berry juice off his absurdly full lips. “I’d be surprised if every pack for a hundred miles hasn’t heard about it by now.”

“How is Namjoon?”

“Alive. He will make a full recovery.”

You sighed in relief. Truly, you had no desire to mate with the Kim alpha, but (despite the grumbling of your bloodthirsty wolf) you never wanted him dead. 

Not to mention the loss of Namjoon would have cast a heavy shade over Jimin’s leadership. He was wise to spare him. 

“Where is he? I want to see him.”

“Namjoon is with the healers-”

“Kim Seokjin,” you bopped him with your now empty water bottle. “I am obviously not talking about Namjoon. Where is my mate?!”

“Calm down, cousin. You’re getting that throat-rippy gleam in your eye again and I’m far too beautiful to go out like that.” 

He reached for another berry. 

“I need to see him.”

You were already marching toward the door when Jin yanked you back. It was always a surprise to see how fast he could move when he wanted to. 

“My dear sweet Luna, you have one murderous rampage and forget all about our tedious traditions. The elders will be drowning him in the preparations and expectations of leadership for at least another ten hours.”

None of Jin’s sensible reminders mattered the least bit to your wolf. She was already suggesting all sorts of reasons you should just march into the council chambers and take him. 

Park Jimin was yours. 

You’ve waited long enough. 

Your hand tightened on the doorknob. 

“He left something for you.”

Kim Seokjin really was a wickedly clever man. He knew exactly which cards to play and exactly when to play them. 

Your heart stuttered wildly in your chest as Jin nodded toward a small box on the table. 

“He sent Taehyung to drop it off not long after the elders dragged him away from your bedside.” 

If you had even an ounce of dignity left, you might have been embarrassed by how quickly you scrambled over to the gift, but you were well past caring about such things when it came to him. 

Your cousin shook his head as you eagerly tore into the wrapping, impatient to discover what he could have possibly-

You gasped. 

There, laying nestled in an ornate wooden box with a lavish blue satin interior, was the most beautiful pair of gloves you had ever seen…

Your fingers reached out to brush the soft white leather, custom stitched with intricately embroidered vines that wound around a beautiful silver wolf. 

“They’re exquisite.”

Jim’s brow furrowed in confusion. 

“They’re not just exquisite, they’re one of a kind.” His fingers traced over the emblem on the box. “This is the mark of the Bangtan Leatherworkers Guild. Every one of their pieces is unique.” 

Your head tilted curiously as Jin began to lift back the satin lining.

“What are you doing?”

“You can only buy their merchandise directly from the shop in Seoul. There’s no way he could have gotten these today.”

“R...Really?”

Jin nodded. 

“I’m about to find out for sure. Each piece produced by the guild comes with a certification. It includes the date of manufacture and the date of sale.”

After a moment he withdrew a small card embossed with gold writing. 

“Well... what does it say?” you pressed impatiently. 

An odd little smile drifted across Jin’s lips as he considered the information in his hands. 

“These gloves were sold to Park Jimin three years ago... a few days before your 17th birthday.” 

Min Yunli slept for most of the day after Taehyung brought her home. 

The Alpha ordered his second to secure her and see to her safety not long after lifting the Luna into his arms. 

In the end, Tae had to compel her again.

She fought to stay near Namjoon, but he needed medical attention and there was no real reason to allow her any access to the fallen alpha. 

She had no claim on him. 

She was nothing to him. 

Nothing at all. 

When she finally opened her eyes the sun was already dipping low on the horizon and the world around her was dim. 

Aching emptiness sat heavily in her chest. The Change was another six days away which meant the connection between her consciousness and her wolf was not fully solidified…  but she could still feel acidic pain of rejection festering in both halves of her heart. 

Tears fell silently down her cheek as she considered her actions and what the consequences might be. 

Namjoon probably hated her now. She had ruined everything for him. 

An angry growl rumbled up from her stomach. 

Yunli snorted humorously and shrugged off her dirty clothes, throwing on an oversized t-shirt before trudging out to the refrigerator. 

Of all the problems she was facing, hunger was the easiest to fix. 

“Do you normally walk around without pants?” 

She just barely bit back a scream. 

There - sitting on her couch (and looking significantly better than he had the last time she’d seen him) - was Kim Namjoon. 

“How did you get in here?!” Yunli squeaked. 

Namjoon held up a key. 

“Yoongi gave it to me years ago.”

Though I doubt he intended for me to use it like this. 

Her fists clenched and unclenched reflexively at her side. 

“Have you… come to yell at me?” she whispered.

Namjoon didn’t respond right away, he was too distracted by the shapely curve of her legs and the soft glow of her skin under the warmth of the living room lamps. 

Yunli, however, took his silence as confirmation of her worst fears. 

“I’m so sorry...” she trembled, her beautiful eyes glistening poetically with unshed tears. “I don’t - I don’t know what came over me - I know I cost you the fight and I-”

Namjoon felt a chuckle bubble up in chest and winced. 

“Yunli...your screams, however affecting, could not undo the will of the goddess.” He shook his head, “Park Jimin was born to be the Alpha.”  His fingers rubbed idly at his chest. “I’ve never come across anything like his power.”

Her eyes traced over the damage to his body with obvious remorse. 

“Are you ok?” she asked finally. 

He had four cracked ribs, several critical lacerations, a concussion, two sprained elbows, countless contusions, and a split lip. 

“Ah, it’s nothing,” he shrugged, barely suppressing a groan. 

Yunli grinned, helplessly endeared as always. She opened her mouth to ask again why he was here, but he cut her off with a surprisingly curt question. 

“Has Taehyung seen you like this?”

Yunli blinked. Twice. 

“T-Taehyung? Like Kim Taehyung - your cousin?”

“Second cousin,” he growled, “I was told he brought you home.”

“Well. Yes. He did… I’m really grateful to him actually. I don’t know what would have happened if he hadn’t caught me and calmed me down.”

A loud ringing was building in Namjoon’s ears. 

“Do you have an understanding with him?” he snarled. 

Yunli’s jaw dropped. 

“An understanding? With Yoonji’s Taehyung?!” She snorted. “I don’t have a death wish.”

“What’s Yoonji got to do with this? Isn’t she in Europe?”

“Never mind that. Why would you think Tae and I-”

“Tae?!”

Yunli’s eyes narrowed. 

“What’s going on in that busted up skull of yours, Kim Namjoon?”

Namjoon was off the couch and pressing her against the wall faster than she would have thought possible in his condition. 

“What’s going on is that for the past year you’ve been a real problem for me, Min Yunli.”

Yunli gasped as the muscled lines of his body weighed firmly into her own. Deep curls of pleasure flared up at every contact point. 

Yes. Oh goddess, yes. 

The force of his desire burned hot in the air between them. She had waited years for him to see her like this - to touch her like this...

“I wasn’t supposed to feel anything when you looked at me with your heart in those pretty brown eyes,” he murmured, brushing the tips of his fingers up over her arms till he was cupping her chin. 

Yunli’s wolf keened in delight as she melted helplessly into his embrace. 

It felt good. It felt so so good. 

“I was convinced you were a challenge - a divine temptation put in my path to test my resolve-” his jaw clenched, “or simply an endless source of torment because you wanted me so badly and I could never have you.”

The sound of ripping fabric split the air as Namjoon clawed through the neckline of her t-shirt, baring her pert little breasts to him like an obscene feast. 

“I was supposed to want the Luna,” he growled, squeezing the soft mounds roughly in his palms till she was whining and writhing against him, “-not Min Yoongi’s sweet little sister.”

Her gaze was so open - so trusting. Adoration shone through every inch of her regard and it was intoxicating. 

She was intoxicating. 

His hand slid down to grip her thighs, lifting her body till she was forced to wrap her legs around him for balance. 

“Namjoon,” she whimpered as the sensitive folds of her core ground into his growing hardness. 

“You just kept pushing and pushing-” he hissed, punctuating each word with delicious thrusts till the maddening pressure in her center was nearly unbearable. “Then last night you offered me a taste and it nearly destroyed me.”

His mouth finally descended on hers again and she opened to him eagerly, wrapping her arms around his neck with wanton desperation. A tortured groan slipped past his lips as he dragged her away from the wall and onto the sofa where she first discovered him. 

“Is this what you wanted, Min Yunli?” he rasped between the fervent mating of their mouths. “To make me desperate? To take me apart until I’m half-mad with wanting you?”

“Yes,” she sobbed as he sucked mark after mark into her flesh, painting her body with the evidence of his passion.

She slipped her hands greedily under his shirt, aching to feel more of his skin against her own. Needy whines and moans fell from her mouth like a siren’s call, beckoning Namjoon to lose himself in the lush warmth of her body. 

“If Kim Taehyung puts his greasy hands on you again, I’ll kill him.”

Yunli mewled in primal gratification at his bold words. She had waited far too long to hear them. 

“All those months I suffered because my wolf recognized what I was too ignorant to see.” 

The last shreds of her shirt flew across the room and Namjoon pinned her wrists above her head like a pagan offering, allowing his free hand to explore her curves with impassioned reverence. 

“You are mine, Yunli,” he swore. 

And she was. 

She always had been. 

Following Jimin’s victory, the pack exploded into a chaotic storm of gossip and ceremonial preparations. The story of his unlikely path to power had already spread beyond the borders of the mountain kingdoms. 

“-messages are coming in from the high packs of Delhi and Beijing requesting to meet with him-“

The rise of new pack leaders typically brought with it a buzz of excitement, but the Luna and her newly victorious Alpha were anything but typical. 

“-he’s a silver wolf. I always knew he was meant for more than just heading up the Park clan-“

The last Alpha king (the current Luna’s great-grandfather) died peacefully in his sleep nearly thirty years ago and the elder’s council ruled in the interim while they waited for a new Alpha to rise. This was the first (and likely the only) coronation most people would see in their lifetime. 

“ - my friend from Seoul is begging me to invite her. Outsiders aren’t allowed to attend unless they’re the guest of a pack member- “

Preparations to transfer power were every bit as tedious and time consuming as the rest of pack law. 

“-the council just announced that he’s chosen a Praetor. I’m sure it will be Taehyung-“

Aside from sneaking out to secure his Praetor (who was not Taehyung), the new Alpha had been holed up with the council, the heads of the ten major clans, and an army of envoys from other packs for nearly twelve hours. 

“ -grandfather worked with him all day. He claims that the future king has already impressed the council-”

Park Jimin’s name echoed through the mountain kingdoms. People could speak of nothing else. 

But there was one member of the pack who had not yet heard the news...

Yoongi took a deep breath as he waited for the woman on the other end of the line to accept his call. He was mentally and physically exhausted, but he had promised to tell her what happened as soon as he could.

Silence lingered eerily in the first few moments after she picked up. 

“I really debated answering this,” Min Yoonji whispered at last. “I don’t know if I can bear to hear you say that Park Jimin is dead.”

She sighed heavily as she ambled down the stairs of her tiny apartment in Paris. 

There were too many happy memories connected with him. He was Tae’s best friend... His loss would tear her former lover apart. 

And she could not be there for him when it did. 

She could never be there for him...

Several thousand miles away her cousin smiled. 

“Park Jimin is not dead, Ji-ah.”

Yoonji missed the last step and crashed down inelegantly on her tail bone. 

“WHAT?!” Her fingers scrambled to hold the phone secure in her precarious position. “You mean to tell me that Kim Namjoon lost - to PARK JIMIN?!”

“You sure picked a wild time to move to Europe,” Yoongi chuckled. 

“I didn’t really move here per se... I just relocated temporarily but indefinitely.”

“Yes, I’m well aware. Your mother is still howling about what a disgrace it was to go through the Change away from your friends and family. So thank you for that.”

Yoonji sighed. 

“What’s done is done... I know you don’t understand, but I promise to explain someday.” Her eyes drifted shut as she forced the pain in her heart aside. “... I can’t believe I missed all this. You have to tell me how he did it.”

“I will later, but I need to head back to the council chambers. We had a brief recess and I figured I’d call since it’s still early over there. However… I do have one last shocking revelation for you before I go.”

Yoonji rolled her eyes at her cousin’s dramatics. 

“I’m not sure anything could shock me after finding out that Park Jimin is our new Alpha.”

“Jimin just made Namjoon his Praetor.”

Apparently I was wrong. 

“WHAT!? So wait - that means Jinwook is now head of the Kim Clan?”

Yoongi’s eyebrows furrowed in confusion. 

“Jinwook? No, how could - ah never mind. You were already in Europe when he left.”

“Jinwook left?!”

“Yeah, he was finishing up a consultation in Bangkok when he met his mate in one of the packs up there. It's an older pack with almost no alphas so they asked him to stay. He’s lived in Thailand since August.” Yoongi yawned. “Believe it or not Kim Taehyung was just sworn in as the Kim Clan alpha.”

Dead silence met his declaration. For a moment he wondered if the call had been disconnected but then-

“...What... did you just say?” 

Yoonji’s voice had taken on a strange hollow quality that had her cousin frowning into the receiver. 

“I said Taehyung was just sworn in as a Clan alpha.”

“That... no that can’t be right... You’re saying Kim Taehyung - my Taehyung-”

“What do you mean your Taehyung?!”

“- is a Clan alpha?”

“Yoonji. I can’t believe I’m repeating this a third time. Yes. Tae is the new head of the Kim Clan. I watched him take the oath twenty minutes ago and I have to say-”

A heart wrenching sob cut him off abruptly. 

“Oh goddess what have I done,” she gasped. 

Yoongi’s eyes widened in fear and alarm. 

“Ji-ah? What’s wrong?... Ji-ah?... Ji-ah?!”

But the line was dead. 

Don’t Miss Chapter VII: The Luna… Coming Soon!

If you would like to be added to the taglist, please comment on this post. If you have already asked then you will be automatically tagged in all future updates.

Guys I cannot emphasize enough how much your support has meant to me these last few weeks. 

Your comments and your love kept me going. I truly value it so much and it fuels my creativity. Please let me know what you thought? It is incredibly rewarding and motivating to hear from you!

I really struggled with this update. It was much longer and took a lot out of me... I hope you love the final product as much as I do…

Bonus: The gloves Jimin sent his Luna...

#park jimin #jimin #bts #jimin smut #jimin scenario #jimin imagine #ficswithluv #bts imagines #bts smut #park jimin smut #kwritersworldnet #networkbangtan #bangtanhq #bagtanidx #heartsforbts #btswriterscollective #magicshopnet #the alpha #jimin x reader #jimin abo #abo

[simplysummers]

Discussing Omega’s childhood on Kamino

Maybe I’m one of the only people curious about this as we’re all very hung up on Crosshair right now (understandable, I want our king back too), but I would really like a conversation between Omega and preferably Hunter, but anybody works fine, to delve into what her life was truly like on Kamino. How she was treated, raised, reprimanded, and how this all reflects on her relationship with the bad batch, and specifically in moments where their actions have fatherly intent behind them.

So, here’s what we know so far:

She was essentially raised by Nala Se.

She’s a first gen/holds unmodified Jango Fett DNA. Whether she was created at the same time as Boba, we don’t know, although it is unlikely.

Due to the fact she was unaltered, she must’ve been raised from infancy on Kamino.

She wasn’t allowed her own bedroom, so I speculate she either slept in the medical wing or had some sort of shared quarters with Nala Se.

She was frequently tested and experimented on, quite often against her will.

She was perceived to be property and nothing more than an evaluative source to help further Kaminoan research by everybody excluding Nala Se (potentially)

Her title role was a ‘medical assistant’.

She didn’t have a very warm relationship with the other clones, as we’ve seen they labelled her a “lab scrapper”.

She made friends with the existing medical staff, who were all droids.

And that is essentially it. Of course, we can make speculations, (a few of mine are: she must’ve been tormented by the other cadets for not being like them, she knew 99 and he kept her company whenever Nala Se left her alone, and that although she was educated accordingly for her medical training and basic education, she was very sheltered from things without ‘purpose’ to her life (as we all know, the Kaminoans don’t do anything without purpose) but we don’t actually know anything else about her time on Kamino!

First of all I really want to know WHY she was created. Taking into account she isn’t the same age as Boba (it’s very much suggested she isn’t, I mean she acts, looks, sounds and is treated significantly younger than Boba ever was), and Jango also didn’t request two unaltered clones, she must’ve been created a few years after Boba. Therefore, was Jango aware of her existence? And if he was, did he want her? Again, if so, what did Boba think of her? (We don’t actually see Omega’s reaction to being told she’s different, so although she might not have known of their exact relations to her, it’s very likely she could’ve potentially met Jango and Boba at some point.) So many questionsssss.

Moving on, I’d love to know more about her relationship with Nala Se. We’ve seen that the doctor has a soft spot for Omega, most definitely because she raised and grew to love her instead of deeming her a piece of property (not excusing Nala Se’s vile actions with the other clones, she can still rot, Omega has better parental figures now.), but was it always like that? Did she neglect smaller Omega for being just another clone? Before ‘Mega could show personality and differentiate herself, did Se still view her as nothing more then a test subject? How did that affect her relationship with Omega as a young child.

Speaking of which, what was Omega then like as a smaller child (hard to believe, she’s still so smol lmao), but I’m talking toddler age here. She is basically a regular person, going through regular human changes due to the fact she isn’t altered, which means she would’ve had all of those wretched toddler phases that parents dread. We can most likely assess that she was playful and curious, she still is now, bless her, but how was it received? Smaller children don’t have the complexity to understand the level of technicality that the Kaminoans work at, she wouldn’t have understood the necessity of sitting still and behaving, would she have been severely reprimanded? Was Nala Se nice to her about it? How was she raised to interpret mannerisms of other people in regards to this?

Furthermore, I want to know what tests they were performing on her too. She’s clearly important due to her first hand DNA, but before that was an asset, before the Kaminoans needed that, what were they doing to her? Why were they testing on her? How much pain was she in? Did she receive any comfort afterwards or was she expected to dry her eyes and get on with it? (I’m speculating it was the latter.) I need to know what they were doing and why. What was the purpose!

Her entire previous life is a huge mystery to us and I want to know more! And I hope I’m not the only one!

Just looking at her precious little face hurts because we know she didn’t receive the ideal childhood, if anything it was borderline abusive (I mean, not just testing on her, but the mind games the Kaminoans played with this poor kid, the fact she was well aware she was just an asset to their research and yet she constantly received mixed messages. It’s no wonder she idolised the bad batch so much; they seemed to be the only people who hadn’t either treated her like garbage at some point up until then, or died. Honestly despite the few slip ups, props to them for actually taking her in and being decent towards her.

I mean, this isn’t the purpose of this post, but just look at the comparisons.

She finally receives her own bedroom.

Said bedroom isn’t even a proper room, but they made do with what they could. She even acknowledges this and she still absolutely loves it. It’s decked out just for her with fairy lights, blankets and toys.

As said, she actually owns toys now, we don’t know if she ever did on Kamino, but I’m speculating it was most likely very few if any at all.

She has her own weaponry and equipment, she’s actually being assisted to defend herself and her squad, she’s gaining knowledge the Kaminoans wouldn’t have ever dreamed of giving her.

As we’ve seen with the amount of times she runs to Hunter for protection, she trusts them immensely. They’re doing everything right to gain her apprehensive trust so quickly.

And of course it isn’t just with Hunter (I’m a stan so pardon my consistency with bringing him up) but she’s the same with the entire batch, even Cross to a very mild extent! She trusts Wrecker with her life, she forgave him so easily after the Bracca incident because she knows the difference between someone purposefully trying to hurt her and them having no control over their actions.

We see she’s been patient with Echo and Tech, she loves to listen to them, she’s picked up on Tech’s dialect (as seen in episode seven) and she trusts him to help her whenever necessary, she has such a touching bond with Echo too, their little interactions melt my heart.

I could rant for hours about her bond with Hunter, so maybe that should be it’s own post at some point, but honestly just how she always seeks him out specifically for comfort, protection and reassurance. It’s so beautiful.

The way she’s addressed Crosshair over their few co-existent moments too. She’s tried to reassure him it isn’t his fault, because she knows it isn’t, she trusts him because she has no reason not too, everything he’s done and said to her hasn’t been within his control.

These are all severely different reactions to how she responds to both the Kaminoans on planet, whenever they’re mentioned, and from what we know in regards to how they treated her.

I’m repeating myself from a previous post here but honestly petition to give Megs all the hugs in the universe. She deserves ‘em. 💛

#the bad batch #star wars #clone force 99 #tbb #the clone wars #hunter bad batch #omega the bad batch #omega tbb #father daughter space duo #wrecker bad batch #tech bad batch #echo bad batch #crosshair bad batch #hunter tbb #Star Wars rant #star wars animated series #Nala Se #kaminoans #Kamino #lama su #clone 99 #tw child abuse #tw child trauma #tw human testing #giving Megs hugs #omega bad batch

[forever-rogue]

In Name Only - Part 18

A/N: Hello, my loves! I hope you enjoy this next little part of our story! As always, feedback and comments are welcome, and if you’d like to be tagged, let me know. xx

Pairing: Oberyn Martell x Fem!Reader

Word Count: 6.8k

Warnings: language, period typical misogyny, description of violence, smut (18+ only)

IN NAME ONLY SERIES MASTERLIST

MASTERLIST

»»————-　♡　————-««

The journey to Honeyholt was a solitary, quiet thing. It was almost too quiet and allotted for far too much time to think. The more you thought about it all, the more you realized how rash and impulsive your decision was. Oberyn would be furious; but he would understand, right? He had to - you were doing this to help avenge him. Admittedly, your plan wasn’t even fully formed at this point, half formed at best - all you knew was that you had to give your family a piece of your mind. You’d lived your whole life getting pushed around and left in the shadows, and you weren’t willing to do it any longer. Oberyn and the Martells - Dorne - were your family now, and you would be cold and in your own grave before you’d let something happen to them.

You weren’t exactly sure what you would do when you made your arrival back at your childhood home; that much you still had to figure out. Improvisation would have to be your friend, and you prayed to the gods, old and new, that you would be able to pull something off. Whatever that something was, you weren’t sure yet. But it would be something; the sins of your family would not go unpunished. 

“Unbowed, unbent, unbroken,” you whispered to yourself as you slowly approached Honeyholt. You offered your mare a few gentle pets as she slowed her trotting; she made a small sound almost as if trying to convince you that your actions were foolish. Too bad you’d already known that, “I know, girl. But I have to do something, anything. Oberyn would do the same for me. He will understand - if not now, eventually he will.”

The soft, sweet scents of the region soon reached you as you took in a breath of fresh air. All the best of your childhood suddenly reached you, and you realized just how much you truly loved the Reach, especially Honeyholt. It was a beautiful, lush land, covered with lots of greenery and flowers and animals. Almost magical in some ways; so different from your current home, but that did not take away from the beauty of Dorne either. Two places that managed to be amazing in their own ways, coexisting in peace. Just like you hoped your families would. 

But it was too late for that now. Your brother had made sure of that. 

“This is as much for him as it is for me,” you explained quietly, almost as if you hoped she would speak back to you. Maybe it was the tiredness or delusion from traveling for the past two days on horseback by yourself. Maybe it was the need for reassurance that your actions weren’t completely off the mark. Maybe it was you trying to convince yourself that what you were doing was justified, “I have to protect him at any cost.”

As you approached the castle, one that looked so welcoming and warming if one didn’t know better, your stomach started to churn. There had been so many years of happiness here, when your father was alive and lord of the place, but it had quickly turned so much darker once he passed and power transferred to your brother. Maybe it wasn’t the place itself that provided happiness, but the people in it that made it a home. That’s what it was - it wasn’t the castle or Honeyholt that was home, it had been your father, and the other kind people that had lived there. Just like Dorne - sure, it was home, but it was Oberyn and the rest of the family that made it warm and inviting. 

A heavy sigh escaped your lips as you heard soft, gentle buzzing in the distance. A tell-tale sign that you were in Honeyholt - the bees that the region was famous for were hard at work producing their delicious honey. You’d grown up with the sounds and smells, and in a way, it set your soul at ease. This was familiar - comfortable. 

Once the path narrowed and you were within walking distance from the castle, you slowly slid off your mare and took her reins in hand, letting her walk next to your side. After so much riding, your legs felt like jelly, and you almost stumbled over your own feet. Petting her muzzle, you offered her a kiss to the side of her head as she followed you closely behind. The familiar sounds of people working around the castle reached your ears as you walked towards the main entrance. But before you could go further, you heard a familiar voice calling your name. Swallowing the lump in your throat, you realized that any chance for a quiet entrance was officially ruined. As soon as one person was aware of your presence, word spread around like a wildfire. There was no hiding anything in this type of circumstance; your whole family would know you were here. 

Turning your around, your golden cape swirled behind you as you plastered on the best smile you could muster up. Sarvon approached you as he wiped off his hands on a rag he quickly tossed over his shoulder. A sense of regret ran through you; he was a few years older than you and had always been nothing kind - you’d always considered him a friend. He was handsome in a typical sense, tall and lanky, with a kind smile and fair hair and eyes, so different from what you were used to these days. 

“Well, well, well, look who came back to see us all,” he held out his hand to you, which you eagerly shook you. If it was possible at all, a bit of your nerves seemed to settle down, “Lady Martell. How are you doing?”

“Sarvon,” you smiled fondly at him, “I’m...well. How are you faring? You look well - I trust everything is much the same?”

“Just the same as ever,” he agreed with a small smile, “but there are some good news - I am to be married within the year! You remember Yennefer? I’ve been courting her and she’s agreed to be my wife!”

“That is most exciting indeed,” you threw your arms around him, feeling a true sense of happiness. He had always been kind and gentle, and he deserved the happiness of a new marriage, “she’s a lovely woman, and I’m sure she’ll make a most wonderful wife. Someone to finally keep you in check!” 

“That she will,” he agreed as a light flush rose up in his cheeks, “can I take her for and get her to the stables? What brings you back to Honeyholt, if I may ask?”

“Of course, and thank you,” you held out the reins to him, “I just...wanted to see my brothers, and my mother. I couldn’t stand being away from them for another moment.”

“I’m sure they’ll be happy to see you too,” he agreed, “it’s always a welcome surprise to see you. Dare I ask you if you come to bring us good news?”

“Oh,” your smile faltered for just a moment as you knew exactly what he was hinting at, “I’m afraid not. I suppose I just missed my family!”

“Of course,” he agreed, starting to lead your mare away, “I’ll announce your arrival. I believe Lord Beesbury is in his study.”

“Thank you, Sarvon,” you offered him a small nod, “you’ve been most helpful as always.”

Before he could say anything else, you turned and walked towards the entrance, walking in under the large stone arches. This was it; whatever plan you were going to concoct, you needed to come with it fast. 

A few more people excitedly greeted you, surprised by your very sudden and unannounced arrival. It was still early in the morning, and you were positive you were positive that you looked as disheveled and tired as you felt. Deciding not to indulge any of them in conversation, you gave them curt nods, marching through your former home towards the study that had once been your father’s sanctuary. Even as you approached it now, it felt different; more cold and uninviting than it ever had. What was once filled with light and laughter was now quiet and daunting.

But nonetheless, you steeled your resolve and reminded yourself that you were a strong, independent woman, and that this was what you needed to do. The dagger strapped to your thigh suddenly felt like it was made of ice rather than steel, a million pounds heavy as it weighed you down. 

When you reached the heavy doors, you didn’t even bother to knock or announce your presence, instead pushing them open and barging in. Your brother dropped the scrolls he was reading as he looked up in shock and awe at the sudden intrusion. His face seemed to shift through a hundred different emotions as he tried to figure out why you were possibly there. Eaton let out a long breath as he leaned back in his chair and a smirk grew on his face. You knew exactly why it was there; it was the same reason you were there. 

“My dear, lovely sister,” his voice was laced with venom as you walked up to his bureau, already seething with anger, “what a surprise, although I can’t say it’s a pleasant one. I’m shocked to see your face again...I believe the last thing you said to me was ‘if I ever see you again, it will be on your deathbed.’ And yet...here you are.”

“You know why I’m here,” you spat at him, “you vile, foul, loathsome little cockroach.”

“There’s that attitude that we all love so very much,” he laughed lightly, but there was no happiness to it, “and look at you know. I see you’ve taken to Dorne well, dressing and acting just like those savages. Sending you there was the best decision we’ve ever made.”

“You dare to speak of my home - my people - in such a manner?” your eyes narrowed as you shook your head at him. He would never change, “you have some nerve for a pathetic excuse of a man that won’t even tend to his people and remains in his study all day. You are worth nothing, you are a shame and a disgrace to our father - our name. At least my husband - “

“Your husband,” he spat as you felt your blood pump, “yes, your weak, pathetic fool of a husband. I had the pleasure of meeting him as you well know. He’s about what you deserve, old, foolish, a whore of a man that will never love you. I’m sure things are going quite well - he can’t even get you with child from the looks of it. What a shame; it seemed to work for all his bastards. Perhaps it’s just you. How absolutely tragic - just what you always deserved-”

“Stop speaking,” your anger and gusto had quickly turned to a feeling of deep remorse, muddled with anger, “y-you have no clue what you speak of. You know nothing-”

“I did try to do you a favor, baby sister,” his lips were curled in a snarl as his wicked grin displayed his full teeth, just like a predator ready to take down his prey, “I did try to kill him. And I would have done it too, if it hadn't been for his little right hand man. He had to stop me just before I could finish him off. You know, part of me was glad he survived; I figured he would die a more slow and painful death at your hand. Imagine my disappointment when I heard that Prince Oberyn, the savage beast of Dorne, survived.”

“He barely survived,” your eyes were burning with the tears you were struggling to hold back, “he was on the verge of death - i-it took everything possible to keep alive, Eaton. I was never more scared...I thought I had lost him.”

“And you should have been happy.”

“I would rather die than to live a day without him,” you practically shouted at him, your voice crackling with each word, “he is my husband and I love him. He is everything to me!”

“Love? You are such a silly, pathetic little child,” his dark laughter reverberated off the stone walls, “you have learned nothing - you will never know anything. Life isn’t about love-”

“Yes,” you interrupted him, “love is everything. Father knew that too; it’s a shame you never learned that. I love Oberyn Martell, he is my husband, my family, my home. And I will never let you do anything to him, or any other part of my family.”

“They’re not your family-”

“They are more my family than you ever will be,” you insisted, “all Oberyn did was try to come here and make amends, to try to instill a sense of peace for everyone - for me. Because he loves me and cares about me. He held no ill intent for you, and still doesn’t - he wants to do nothing to you, despite what you had done to him. He just wants peace, and you couldn’t even give him that much.”

“You think he has your best interests in mind?” he scoffed, “he doesn’t care about you! He only wants to make himself look good. He will never love you - no one will ever love you!

"He loves me!"

"He doesn't love you!" you were both yelling at each other but by this point, "Waylar never did either. But look what you did to him, you caused his death and for what? Your feelings? And you almost did the same to your husband. You need to learn that love isn't a real thing and that in this game you survive and adapt or die."

"You are so hateful," you slowly reached for the dagger, ready to pull it out and wield it at him, "your heart has turned to stone. What a shame; we grew up with a lot of love from father but you never learned. I know it's real - not fake - and I will make sure everyone knows. I will make sure my husband knows how much I love him, my children, my family - everyone. I will never end up like you and I couldn't be more thankful than that."

"You will live and die a fool-"

"And you will die as a hateful, spiteful man," you pulled out the dagger and displayed it to him, watching as his eyes grew wide in worry. You had sneaked incredibly close to him and the dagger was mere inches from his throat. It would have been easy to end it all then and there, "you recognize this, don't you?"

"Where did you get that?" he swallowed and you could see his Adam's apple bobbing, "it belongs to me!"

“No,” you insisted with a wicked smile of your own, “it doesn’t. It’s mine, by rightful inheritance. Father gave it to me several years ago before he died.”

“It has belonged to every head of this family for centuries!”

“Until now,” you reminded him, letting the beautiful steel glint brilliantly in the morning light, “now it’s mine. And it stays with me - and I promise you one more thing, dear brother. This blade will be the last thing on your mind as I kill you.”

“You wouldn’t dare,” his eyes were wide with worry as you kept the blade drawn and ready to strike at any second as you walked around the desk and stood in front of him. Pressing the blade into his flesh, you dug it in just enough to draw a thick trickle of blood, “you’re making a grave mistake.”

“Oh no, I’m not,” you insisted, making your voice sticky sweet with honey, “I’m not making a mistake at all. It’s not so funny when it’s the other way around, is it Lord Beesbury? Imagine how it felt for Oberyn as you stabbed him, as you inflicted would be deadly wounds. Don’t you think he felt the same way? And what did he do to you? Nothing. He didn’t deserve any of this. But you? You deserve this because you have done horrible things, Eaton. You don’t deserve compassion or mercy.”

“When they find what you’ve done, they’ll have you too flayed like the Boltons would.”

“Oh no,” you shook your head, “I won’t be caught for this. And even if it was discovered to be me, they would thank me.”

“You are a horrible, insistent bitch-”

“You almost took my husband from me - the one man that has loved me unconditionally. The man that would do anything for me - my family. I will be damned if I let you ever harm so much as a hair on his head. You will never harm him, my children, my family, any one I care about ever again. You’ve set up your own downfall, and I will be your executioner. You know the best part of all? I don’t regret a single thing.”

Slowly dragging the blade down the column of his throat, you let it stop just at his heart. It was so close, just within reach. All you had to do was plunge it into his chest and he would be dead. Just like he had wanted Oberyn to be. 

So close, almost there...all you need to do was sink it into this flesh. You felt wild, almost like a mad woman - but everything you had been wanting was right in front of you. 

Just a little further, a little harder and it would all be done...

"Stop!" the familiar voice pulled you out of your daze as your chest rose and fell in a hectic, chaotic pattern. Nothing made sense right now - only vengeance and redemption - blood, "don't do this. You will regret it every single day of your life. And I can't let you live like that."

The two of you turned and found Oberyn Martell standing in the doorway, looking at the two of you with the most neutral expression you had ever seen; a true and collected negotiator. Your surprise turned to shock as you stared at your husband. He wasn’t supposed to be here, he wasn’t supposed to know about this. The dagger shook in your hand for a moment as Eaton swallowed thickly. 

“O-Oberyn,” you were between a rock and a hard place; you could easily have plunged the dagger and ended this, giving yourself a sense of satisfaction and vengeance. But if you did so, you would directly be going against Oberyn’s wishes. He didn’t want this but you did...you were almost positive of it. A strangled cry left your lips as you found yourself between a rock and a hard place, “you’re not supposed to be here!”

“And neither are you,” he took a few steps closer as he regarded the two of you curiously. He was very pointedly trying to keep the situation calm and diffused, “you don’t belong here, my love. This isn’t your home - come with me and we’ll go home. You don’t need to do this, he isn’t worth it.”

“Oberyn, he tried to kill you! He would have done it if he’d gotten the chance - he hoped you would die a slow painful death after you escaped. He loathes you, and for what?! You have done nothing but be kind and he’s a horrible, vile person! He doesn’t deserve my mercy or anything,” tears were running down your cheeks as you tried to rationalize everything to yourself, “what if he had taken you from me? I-I-I won’t let anything happen to you, ever, Oberyn. He deserves this!”

“That may be so, but you should not be his executioner,” he had come closer and closer until he was standing next to you, a hand tentatively wrapping around your wrist, “you do not deserve to live with such a thing on your conscience. Fate will be his undoing. Not you.”

“What if…”

“Don’t do this,” he insisted, as your brother looked around wildly, trying to figure out what was going on, but very aware that any wrong move, accidental or intended, would kill him, “you will never forgive yourself. Anything you would do to him would be too kind. But please, spare yourself the heartbreak and let him go. I’m right here, I’m okay - nothing will ever happen to me or take me from you. Not in this life or the next.”

“Oberyn,” his name was but a shaky whisper off your lips as you met his soft, brown eyes, “I-I just...I love you, and I don’t know what I’d do without you.”

“I love you, more than anything,” he slowly started to pull your wrist and dagger away from Eaton's throat, “that’s why I’m here - why I’m insisting you don’t do this. Please don't do this - for my sake and your sake. Just stop and come home with me. To our home - our family."

"Oberyn…"

"Come on, my Sunshine. Its not worth it. He is not worth a lifetime of regret," without even thinking about it, you let him pull your hand away as he carefully pulled the dagger out of your hand, "its okay, my love. It's okay."

Turning your attention away from Eaton's face, you looked at Oberyn and saw that he was just as emotional as you. He tucked the dagger into his waist belt before putting his hands on your face and wiping your tears away, "I-I'm sorry, my love. I thought...I thought this was the right thing to do."

"I know," he promised as he wrapped his arms around you and held you to his chest. He kissed the top of your head as you started to weep into his chest without abandon, "its okay."

Eaton watched the two of you with confusion on his face; whatever was going on, he knew he was safe for now. Clutching at his throat, he wiped away the blood that had oozed down his neck. A small sound of surprise escaped his lips at the burn. 

"You," Oberyn turned to your brother with a look of disgust etched into his features, "you will say nothing of this to anyone, or I will personally finish what she started. You will never contact her again, and she will never contact you again. This is over - it ends now. And if I get even so much as a whiff of you in Dorne or anywhere near us, I will make sure you suffer. The Boltons aren’t the only ones who know how to flay a body. Do I make myself clear, boy?”

Eaton was so stunned, stunned into silence as he merely nodded at the Dornish Prince. Opening and closing his mouth a few times, he fell short of words and watched in silence as Oneryn took your hand and slowly led you out of the study. The young lord hissed slightly at the burning sensation on the delicate flesh of his throat. It had all seemed like a fever dream; but the scar that your actions had been sure to leave were most definitely a reality. He collapsed in his stiff wooden chair, a faux throne for a great pretender, and held his head in his hands. Maybe he should have reconsidered crossing the Red Viper - and you.

»»————-　♡　————-««

Oberyn remained silent as he tightly clutched onto your hand and led you out of the castle. Only a few rushed words were said, but no one dared to approach either of you. If word of your arrival had gotten around, either no one cared enough to greet you, or they were all scared. But Oberyn was fast on his feet and had the two of you out of there before you could protest or make any sort of comment. Tears were liberally rolling down your cheeks in thick, fat droplets and splattering onto your gown and all the over the ground. 

He must have gotten there in a rush and quickly put the pieces together as his steed was wildly saddled just outside the gates. You saw Sarvon rush over with your own mare, almost as if he had been roped into aiding the Prince. Silently, he took the reins to the small mare and helped you to climb onto her back before repeating the same to his stead. 

Quietly thanking the young man for his assistance, he said nothing to you before reaching into the saddlebags and handing you a flask of water and some fruit. At least the man was smart enough to know you’d be starving and parched. You took them with quiet ease, too embarrassed and confounded to say anything. 

He led the way in silence for some time, still checking to make sure you were closely following him. The tension settling between the two of you was thick and palpable; it wasn't angry per se, but it certainly wasn't good. A few times you had wanted to say something, anything, to break the tension, but found yourself unable. Instead, you remained silent and studied the back of Oberyn’s head to try and get a read on him. It didn’t work; the Prince was good at hiding his true feelings when he needed to. 

“There’s a tavern a few miles ahead,” he said quietly after a long bout of silent; it had been morning you’d left Honeyholt and now dusk was starting to fall, “we’ll stay there for the evening and then continue on tomorrow morning.”

“Okay,” was the only response you could muster up. He hadn’t even turned to look at you.

»»————-　♡　————-««

The tavern was a small, quiet place, quaint and warm, and if you hadn’t been worried about the nerves churning out butterflies in your stomach, you would have been excited to rest there. Oberyn had handled business while you made your way to your temporary lodgings. As soon as you’d entered the room, a low sigh escaped your lips. Turning to the aged looking glass, you could see that you were an absolute sight to behold; hair wild and mussed, tired, bloodshot eyes, and ragged looking clothes. Luckily, there was a tub waiting with hot water in the adjoining room and you were halfway to slipping off your clothes when Oberyn came back into the room. 

He offered you a nod of acknowledgment before sitting at the edge of the bed and watching you closely, his arms crossing over his broad chest. 

“Go on,” he offered up, raising an eyebrow before looking between you and the wooden tub. Swallowing the lump in your throat, you stripped the remainder of your clothes before sinking into the warm water and letting out a long sigh at the feel of the warm water against your skin. It was the most relief you’d left in days, “better?”

“Yes,” you admitted as you grabbed a cloth to start washing your tired body, "thank you.”

“I brought clean clothes,” he continued; his voice was so slow and neutral, it was impossible to tell what he was thinking, “and they will bring up some food. I presume you might be tired and hungry,”

“Mhmm,” his calm demeanor was almost more unnerving than anything else, and you wished he would yell at you. At least then you would know his true feelings. 

It was silent for some time before anything happened as the two of you had just stared at one another. Oberyn ended up stripping off his own outer robe and remained only in his trousers as he washed his face in a small basin. Finding it impossible to complete even the simple task of washing your hair, you finally gave in and broke down, “Oberyn? Are you ever going to talk to me again?”

“I thought I had been.”

“You know what I mean,” you made swift work of washing the soap from your body before wringing your hair, “you’ve hardly said more than a few words to me. It isn’t like you.”

“What do you want me to say?” his hands found his hips as he looked at you in question, You were taken aback at his short, snappy response, but at least it was something other than complete emptiness. 

“Say you’re angry with me, that you’ll never forgive me or...something.”

“Of course I’m angry,” he said as you reached for the towel as you stood up and wrapped it around your now clean form, “I am beyond livid - furious - do you have any clue as to what could have happened if I hadn’t shown up? Do you have any clue as to how worried sick I was? Every horrible, wicked thought possible went through my mind!”

“Will you ever forgive me?”

“It’s not up to me to forgive you...the question is whether you forgive yourself,” with a heavy sigh, he sat back on the bed and you timidly walked over to him, “you could have been hurt.”

“But I wasn’t…”

“Luckily - this time,” he cut you off sharply as your lips formed a thin line and you willed yourself not to argue back, “but it was still a huge risk - a very uncalculated risk! One wrong move and you could have been hurt, or worse - killed. And what good would that have been? It would have been for naught.”

“I had to do something! You were going to do nothing!” you insisted, unable to keep your silence. While your husband may have had valid points, you wanted him to know you felt just as strongly about your own views, “Oberyn, he is a foul, horrible person! He wanted to kill you, he hoped you would die, and the worst part of all was that he didn’t regret anything. He laughed about, made a mockery out of you and myself. He deserved everything he got and worse!”

“Would you have done it?” how he managed to keep calm was beyond you. He simply looked at you, his breathing even and his eyes full of curiosity as you stood in front of him, wildly flailing while wrapped up in your towel, “would you have killed him?”

“I...I…” his simple question felt like it had punched the air out of your lungs as you opened and closed your mouth a few times, “I would…”

“Do you really think you could have plunged that dagger into his heart, through skin and muscle and bone, and killed him? Do you think you could have watched the life leave his eyes as he took his last breath?”

“I…”

“Killing is not as simple as you think, you sweet, innocent girl. It takes a lot to end someone’s life,” he explained as you stared at your feet, feeling tears start to well up in your eyes, “it is not something to take lightly - I have never taken it likely. I have killed many men, but only those who have deserved it.”

“He deserved it.”

“That may be so, but it’s not up to you to decide that,” Oberyn let out a long sigh as he held out his hand to you, “you do not deserve to be left with such a thing on your conscience. You are much too good for something like that; do not let one man, however terrible he may be, take away your light. He will get what he deserves, everyone always does, and it will be much crueler than anything you could do. Leave him to fate, to the gods, to the universe. He is not a part of your life any longer - you will never have to see or speak to him again. He has built his own bed and he will reap what he sows. But you? You are too kind, too pure, too innocent for such darkness. You are of a different kind than he is; do not let him drag you down to his level for a few moments of the idea of vengeance. It will not be worth it. Never.”

“The things he said...they were horrible, my love,” you took his hand, and let him pull you towards him, so you were standing in front of him. Oberyn stroked the back of your hand, almost absentmindedly as you ran your free hand through his curls, “I have never heard such horrid, loathsome things before - against me, you, our family. He...he said you didn’t love me, that you would never love me. It was all a lie and that I was just meant to go to you and give you children.”

“You know absolutely none of that is true,” he insisted as you nodded, letting a few tears run down your cheeks, “and he knows he is wrong. He says these things because he is jealous, because he will never have them. He is cold as steel and has closed off his heart, and he will never love or learn to be loved. But that does not mean what we have isn’t real. I love you more than you will ever know. I will do whatever it takes to prove that to you, every day.”

“I know you do,” you whispered as he stood up and pulled you into his body, wiping away your tears, “I know what we have is real...it’s just...I don’t know. I was acting rashly, and I just couldn’t handle the idea of someone hurting you, hurting the one person I love the most, and getting away with it.”

“You will never lose me,” he whispered as he traced over your features, “it’s because of you I’m still alive; you stood by my side every minute of every hour for days. Without you, I don’t think I could have made it. You must know that I’m not the only one with the world to lose. When Asha told me of your plans, I thought I was going to lose everything, I was worried. Yes, I am mad - mad that you directly defied what I asked of you, you lied and sneaked out of Sunspear, you went completely and held a knife to a man’s throat.”

“When you put it like that…”

“Truthfully?’

“Yes, I suppose.”

“You are still so young, with so much to learn,” he put a finger to your lips before you could say anything else, “I will teach everything I can, you will learn, in time. But sometimes you must learn to trust others - me. I would never do anything to hold you back, or do anything that wasn’t in your best interest. You know that right?”

“I do,” you admitted, “I suppose I was so caught up with the idea that if I had to suffer, so did he…”

“What a world it would be if everyone thought like that, no?”

“Is that why you’re a Prince, my love? Because you’re so wise and smart?”

“Because I was born lucky. The rest I’ve learned over the years, as you will,” he put a finger under your chin and turned your face up to his, “it takes time, but you will get there, and I will be there every step of the way.”

“I love you,” was all you managed to whisper as you stared back into his eyes, “Oberyn.”

“I love you,” he repeated, “don’t ever do anything like this again, okay? Next time I might not be there, or things can go very differently. It’s not worth it.”

“I promise,” you agreed as he gently kissed your lips, “never again. I'm sorry I worried you, just...please don't ever leave me. I'm sorry."

"Its okay," he nodded at you, and you felt a warmth pool in your belly at the way he observed you - with reverence, devotion, and adoration, "I'm not going anywhere."

Unable to stop yourself, you brought a hand to the top of your towel where it was barely hanging on. Undoing the weak knot, you let it fall to the wooden floor with a delicate thought as you stared at him. Your whole body flushed under his intent gaze, but it was only mere seconds before he wrapped his arms around your waist, his touch warm and brazen on your bare skin. 

Your arms wrapped around his neck as you crashed your lips onto his, kissing him with a fervent intensity that he easily matched. There was nothing soft or gentle about this, it was a rushed tangle of tongue and teeth as you battled for dominance. But you were no match for Oberyn, a man experienced in life and love, as gripped the back of your neck and held you close to his lips.

Your hands went to the waistband of his trousers as you tried to rip them off as quickly as possible. You wanted and needed him now. His hands found yours as he helped you to undo the trousers and push them to the ground. Oberyn's lips barely left yours as he stepped out of them and he reached for you again. His hands found your bum as he gave it a firm squeeze and you moaned into his mouth. You could feel him smirking against your lips.

"Oberyn," his name was a reverent whisper off your lips as he kissed along your jaw and nipped at the delicate skin of your throat as he did his best to ensure that there would be marks for everyone to see, "please...need you."

"Mhmm," he backed you up against the wall, gently so you didn't hit your back or head too hard. Warm, calloused but gentle hands roamed your body as he touched over every part of you he could reach. His hands were on your breasts, massaging them and rolling your pert nipples as you tried not to completely lose it - not just yet. 

You kissed every part of him you could reach, relishing in his soft, golden skin. He snaked  hand between your bodies and down to your core, where he started to circle your clit after running his fingers through your soaked folds. It hadn't taken much to get ready for him today.

"All for me?" he rasped in your ear as all you could do was nod and bite on your lip to keep from crying out. He kept touching you, working you up and slowly inserting two fingers, expertly curling them and causing you to see stars. Burying your face into his shoulder, your legs started to feel weak and shaky as you almost reached your high. But before he went any further, he ceased all his ministrations and pulled his hand away. 

"Oberyn!" you huffed at him as he bought his fingers to his lips and sucked them clean. That was enough to silence you completely as you watched him in awe, "oh."

"Sweeter than the finest fruit," he smirked before taking his cock in his hand and stroking his length a few times, "my sweet girl, you drive me wild with worry and wonder sometimes."

"Only because I love you," you instinctively spread your legs slightly to make room for him. Lining himself up at your entrance, it was a few seconds before he was fully sheathed inside of you. You moaned at the feeling of him stretching you out so perfectly as he took the opportunity to kiss you.

He wasted no time in thrusting into you, slowly at first, but then quickly setting a brutal pace as he tightly gripped your hips. It was almost as though something inside him had snapped he needed you desperately. Soon, the room was filled with nothing but your combined moans, the lewd sounds of skin on skin, and your back lightly hitting the wall. You were almost positive that anyone near you would be able to hear but was going on but it didn't stop either of you.

Before too long, your walls started to clench around him as his cock twitched within you. Unable to form proper words, you came with a cry around him and he offered you a few more shallow thrusts before spilling inside of you. 

He held you pinned against the wall for a few moments as you both came down from your highs. You pushed a stray curl from his forehead before he pressed a kiss to your lips.

"I love you," you offered up as a sort of all encompassing apology as you studied your husband's face.

"I know," he agreed as he touched your cheek, "I love you. Now, let's get some rest, Sunshine. We still have a lot to talk about later."

Maybe you'd made a rash and horrible decision; but at least you knew his love for you was truly unconditional.

»»————-　♡　————-««

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#oberyn martell #oberyn martell x reader #oberyn martell x you #oberyn martell x fem!reader #pedro pascal #pedro pascal x reader #in name only #ino

[oneirataxiahiraeth]

Can I request a Kai Parker smut when the reader is Bonnie's cousin and the reader sees through the things that Kai has done.

Dudeeee I actually had a this whole concept already in my drafts!!! Sorry it’s taken me a while, I’m a very indecisive person so this was written over and over again LMFAO

Pairings : Bennett!Reader X KaiParker

Warnings : angst., some more angst, angry Bonnie, Kai Slander, mentions of blood/violence/gore, mentions of murder, language, smut, not proof read

Requested : ;) I originally based this off of POV by Ariana Grande but I made some tweaks to it so yeah

Word Count : 7k

Your head was light and brain struggling to make any connections to the rest of your body. Your back rested against the dining room chair as you let whatever Jo fed to you get mushy in your mouth. Caroline had fed you some of her blood but your headache remained. Everything about today had went south and now everyone was just waiting on the edges of their chairs for something to happen and just wrap up the gift of shittiness to this very bad day. Unfortunately for you, you just so happened to be the fucking bow.

"I thought I told you to stay away from her!" Bonnie snapped in the living room at the brown haired siphon. You couldn't hear the arguments happening in the other room solely because you were too busy being coddled by Jo and Caroline to make sure you wouldn't be able to hear the scolding Kai was receiving in the other room.

Bonnie never saw what you did whenever she looked at him. In her mind, you were just another one of his victims. He couldn't have had any good intentions with you. Kai Parker never had good intentions of any kind. He's selfish, and evil, and cruel, and there's no way in hell she was going to let him keep ruining your life after what happened today. Everyone knew who he was and what he did, everyone saw how dangerous he could be... except you just refused to acknowledge it. Truthfully, she didn't know whether to direct all her anger at him for hurting you or put all her disappointment on you for letting it get this far.

"Bonnie I swear, it's not like that! I never meant to hurt her, it just happened and I couldn't control it-"

"I swear to god I will kill you right now, and I wouldn't even need magic to do it." She growled.

He couldn't understand what made her so angry. Obviously he never meant to siphon so much out of you, really he didn't mean to siphon you at all. He was just planning on telling from Bonnie and the bracelet you gave him with a bit of your magic in it for emergencies and hoped the whole spell would work out fine.

"It was an accident!"

"Like hell it was!" Everyone stood around... watching... waiting... hoping. Hoping he would step out of line just once so they could rip his head off. "Nothing with you is an accident, Kai!"

"I would never intentionally hurt her, Bonnie! Believe or not I'm still capable of human emotions!" He scoffed, nothing the vampires surrounding him ready to pounce at any given moment, and with his anger levels rising they were about to have a field day.

"Of course you would, Kai! You hurt everyone who's close with you! Whether it's literally or metaphorically you always find a reason that benefits you, that justifies you hurting someone else! That's just who you are! You want nothing good with her, Kai! She's a good person, just leave her alone!" Bonnie growled, but Kai wasn't going to give in so easily.

"I've changed, Bonnie!"

"Changed into what? An even better liar? Because for an actual second there, Kai, I really believe you stayed in mystic falls just to live the life you never got to!" She fired.

"That's-"

"You know, if you wanted to make us even considering liking you, you should've moved. Far, far away from here, somewhere where you can't fucked up our lives enough for us to continue to have another fucking reason to hate you!" His shoulders dropped, hurting filling him to the brim. Usually he wouldn't let things like words get to him. She was upset with him, people say things they don't mean when they're upset... only she would've said this even in her happiest moments of life. She did hate him, and she had every reason to.

"She makes me a better person- When I'm I'm with her I want to be a better Person, Bon!" He defended himself. He knew the real reason he was with her, to him it was quite obvious. She made him feel as though the world wasn't out to get him. She could stop a nightmare before it even began with just a breathing the way she does. She made the best cupcakes, even though her cooking skills were mediocre, magic could fix everything. She made him smile without even doing anything just from the warm giddy feeling in his body when he's around her. Y/N Bennett... she was the only person to exist to make Malachi Parker feel like he deserved to live.

"Bullshit! You're just using her-"

"It isn't like that!" He snapped, causing the argument to halt for a few seconds.

"Really? Then tell me, Kai. What is it? Is it because she's my cousin? Is that why you're interested in her? To get back at me in your own disgusting twisted way? Or is it because of the blood? I bet her Bennett blood would come in real handy just in case-"

"No! I wouldn't do that to her-"

"Or is it because you're just so desperate for someone who actually feels like a friend that you decided to keep her around? Hmm? Maybe it's because after 18 years holed up in that prison word, you finally came to the realization that there is no possible way you could ever be loved. That you deserve to be alone for the rest of eternity. But all of a sudden, here she is, Precious y/n Bennet, the only person who is willingly to search for even a shred of good in you!" She spat. Everyone around watching guards fell as the watched Kai slowly become less tense. His shoulders falling slowly, the will the defend himself leaving his body along with his will to live, embarrassment and anger rushing through his veins, but a small part of him kept him in the room and not on his way back to his apartment. "Let me tell you something, Kai. Maybe this you can finally get it through your head." Bonnie feeling confident enough to take a step towards the stunned looking Siphon. "Not even a Bennett witch is strong enough to fix the broken, unlovable, vile person you really are. And if you truly, by some fucking miracle have a beating heart in your chest, if you've actually let her change you for the better, then you know she's better off without you. We both know that you don't deserve her in any way, shape, or form... so just let her go. Find someone else to ruin and leave her alone."

It felt as if all the oxygen in his body had left. His heart stopped pumping blood through his veins, and slowly and painfully he felt as if he was desiccating on the insides. He hadn't even noticed the tear that had escaped while he was being scolded.

Both you and Jos head turn as you hear a muffled scream that sounded like it came from Bonnie. You tried to stand by Jo eased you back down, shaking her head as if everything was all right. You couldn't hear much of the conversation going on in the other room, but you knew if it was enough to make Bonnie angry then it was never good. And Bonnie in their with Kai... was enough to make her wanna take out the entire town of Mystic Falls.

"I feel fine Jo, I'm good." You reassure her, standing on your own again against her advice.

She knew what was going on in there... they've been going at it since before you even regained consciousness. She wasn't worried about you not being able to stand on your own, she was worried about you overbearing the heavy conversation happening in the other room.

"Maybe we should head to a clinic or something, you did hit your head pretty hard!" She tries quickly but you shaking your head.

"Caroline gave me her blood, I'll be fine." You responded, looking to the blood who seemed to be in total shock and not at all paying attention to either of you. "I think I'm just going go home and sleep, promise I won't do anything to crazy." You sent Jo a soft smile, tilting your head at Caroline in confusion but ultimately ignored it. Maybe it was some weird vampire sensory thing.

"You should take the back door!" Jo tried again, just to keep you from walking back into the living room.

"I would..." you narrowed your eyes at the dark haired doctor. "But my keys are by the front door." You spoke, walking towards the living room before Jo could make any more excuses. You caught on fast, but really you did just want to go home.

"Wait No-" Jo stood quickly, Caroline finally snapping back into consciousness. By the time she could truly think, you were already walking through the doors leading into the living room. There was still a bit of your blood on the carpet, you knew Damon was going to bitch about that later so you figured you get out why you still could.

Well... that's what you were planning to do before you stopped just to notice all of the eyes planted on you. You first assumed that it was just them just surprised at your speedy recovery... but the tear running down your boyfriends cheek made you rethink a bit. Kai never cried. No matter what or ho he was feeling, there was not a thing in this world that he would ever let get to him. Maybe he was just so worn out from the spell too that he didn't even feel himself tearing up. The whole room felt tense, and even Jo and Caroline looked like this in the Kitchen.

"What's going on?" You felt your own body tense a bit as Kai's eyes fell down to the floor.

"nothin'" Kai mumbled, voice shaky. Your eyes narrowed with obvious disbelief. His voice was kind of small, and he couldn't even look at you. He had so many thoughts racing through his head he had no idea what to do.

"Why don't i believe that..." you spoke, mostly to yourself. "I was just about to head home." You mentioned wearily. "Are you coming or are you just gonna stand there awkwardly?" You asked, half joking and half wanting to know what had him so actually upset.

"Uhm," he spoke looking back up, eyes immediately attracted to Bonnie before looking back to you. He felt her glare burning into the side of his head, her whole rant repeating itself in his mind over and over again. "Yeah, yeah, I'll drive." He nodded, turning around just so he wouldn't have to look at you again. Before he could walk, Bonnie had grabbed his arm. Rather tightly, and oddly to be honest. She usually avoided any sort of interaction with him, so even an arm touch was a weird sight to you.

All she sent was a simple look that seem to have him shaken down to his boots before she let him go. Her eyes falling back to you. She sent a smile, before just walking away. Not a word. Just silence. It was weird, no one else had much to say either, just weird looks on their faces and more silence to give. You ignored them though, just wanting to get home.

"Uhm, okay." You responded to the silence, shaking out the bad feeling from your mind before walking through the living room. You grabbed you jacket off the couch before walking over to Kai. You reached your hand up to touch his arm but he shrugged you off, walking towards the front door without even look at you. Was he mad? What could he possibly have been mad at you for?

You pretended to not noticed the coldness and just follow after him out the door. He got into the car, barely even waiting until your door was fully closed before taking off out of the driveway. He needed to get you home. To stop himself from doing the right thing and letting you go because he didn't want that. He wanted you, for as long as he could manage to keep you in his grasp. It was selfish of him, but everyone already knew what he was like so he didn't really care. He's happy with you. Happy with his life with you. Happy with his life around you. Happy with himself with you.... why in hell would he ever give you up?

Bonnie was right though, letting you go wasn't about his happiness. It was about yours. And as selfish as he was, your happiness would always come above his own. He made sure of that everyday. He didn't eat until you did, he took shorter showers so you could have more hot water, or he'd just wait until you were done and take whatever was left. You wanted- deserved a life without him and all the despair and pain that follows him around. You didn't deserve to be woken up in the middle of the night because he was restless. You didn't deserve to be distanced from all your friends just because you liked him. If living the best life you could meant leaving him behind, he was fine with that. He was fine with that for you. He was fine with you being happy even if it meant he would've been miserable for the remainder of his life.

"Kai, you need to slow down!" You spoke up, hand moving to his thigh as you noticed his hand clutching the wheel so tightly. "Your going 70 in a 35" it was late and no one was out on the streets, he didn't care how fast he was going.

"It's fine, y/n." He muttered, eyes not leaving the road. There were no deer out in this time of the year, there was no danger of hitting much of anything.

"No, Kai, it's dangerous." You responded, "slow down, please."

"No." He needed to get you home. If he slowed down, that gave you more time to talk. More time for him to think, more reasons to flood his brain on why you were better off without him.

"No? Kai, come on, seriously you need to slow down." You scoffed, not amused by his resistance. "I'd rather not die in a car crash before I'm old enough to run for president."

"Could you stop talking? Like just for a moment!" He huffed.

"Wha- I- no! What the hell is wrong with you? Slow the car down, Kai!" His eyes rolled, momentarily forgetting just how persistent you could be. "Kai!" Your hand moving from his thigh as you contemplated jumping out of the car just to see what he would do. Maybe after you break probably every bone in your body he'll slow the fucking car down. "Stop the damn car." You spoke but he ignored you, hoping you would just stop talking to him.

Instead of you stopping with the chat, he felt himself stomping on the break as your seatbelt came undone. Your body moving forward fast, colliding with the dashboard, and knocking the absolute wind out of you. He unbuckles his seat belt quickly, looking over to you. You were fine, your boobs not so much, but it wasn't unbearable. You let out a deep throaty couch, opening your car door. You only unbuckled your seat belt to get him to slow down, put the fear in him that you were going to jump out.

Well... it sort of worked.

"Y/N, what the hell?!" He growled, following you out the car. You were leaned onto the car trying to get some air into your king as the adrenaline started releasing through your body. "What the hell were you going to do? Jump out of the fucking car because I was got a few miles over? You could've gotten hurt! Hurt worse the just hitting the dashboard! What if another car was coming? You could've gotten ran over, and killed! Then you'd wake up with a craving for an AB positive juice box!" He scolded you as if you were a child.

"I wasn't actually going to jump out, asshole! I just wanted you to slow the damn car down! And if you would've done it, instead of being a dick then we wouldn't be having this conversation!"

He mumbled something under his breath that you couldn't quite make out and you finally managed to stand straight again. "Are you okay?" He sighed.

"Are you?" You shrugged. "You haven't looked at me since we left the house, you won't talk to me, practically told me to shut the fuck up, and then you yell at me like I'm kid."

"I didn't mean to yell at you. I just didn't want you to get hurt." He frowned a bit.

"I'm fine. But I'm not getting back in that car." You spoke.

"What? Why?"

"Tell me what Bonnie said to you that has you so upset." You demanded, his heart pausing for only a moment as you stated into his soul.

"What?"

"I might be a little be slower at picking up on the clues but I'm not stupid. What did she say that has you so deathly terrified to even look at me?" You asked. "Did she put a spell on you or something-"

"No, it's nothing, y/n, just drop it and let's get back." He shook his head.

"If it was nothing then you wouldn't mind telling me."

"It's none of your business."

"Seeing as your my boyfriend and she's my family, in some weird way, whatever beef you two have is my business."

"Leave it alone."

"No" You shook your head, crossing your arms over your chest even though it hurt a bit.

He wanted to yell, but he knees you still wouldn't give up. He didn't understand how you could be so annoyingly persistent still after he's shot you down so many times. It was like you knew you were getting under his skin yet you kept digging. Purposely trying to draw out some reaction just for your own amusement.

"Why don't you give up?" He groaned. "Why do you even care? Why can you stand there and look at me like that with no guilt at all?!" His foot colliding with the car tire. He hated how much every fiber of his being was pushing him to do the right thing for once. "How can you stand there knowing everything I've done and still sleep in a bed with me? Do you not care?" He wanted to stop but nothing was letting him.

"What're talking about?"

"I killed people! My own family, y/n! I hurt Bonnie! I hurt Damon! I hurt Elena, and then just because I thought you were pretty I hurt you too! And still, you refuse to see any of my faults in actions that I take pride in!" He yelled finally. It didn't phase you. You encourage him to let any emotions he was feeling out all the time. He was angry right now, and you were fine just seeing how angry he really was.

"You're not that person anymore, that's why. I trust you."

"Well you shouldn't." He shook his head. "I will always be that person!"

"You may feel like that person but your not!" You defend him against himself. "You've made a lot of progress, you know that. And I could sit here and dwell on the shit you've done in the past but if I did that to everyone, I'd have no one." You sighed, not understanding why he was bringing any of this up. What did Bonnie say to him?

"I left Bonnie in a prison world to die!"

"And you helped me get her back!"

"I tortured your best friend!"

"You wouldn't be the first-"

"Stop doing that!"

"What?"

"Making excuses for me! There are none! I'm a bad person, y/n! You aren't, this whole 'fix me' doll relationship isn't going to last because of that! Because you deserve better than me! And if I let this go any further, then that means I haven't changed. I'm not better than I was, I've just had you to keep me from making any stupid decisions-"

"Kai stop-"

"-and one day you're going to realize that this was all a mistake. That maybe there isn't something that can be redeemed in my cold unloveable heart. And when that day comes, I'd rather not wake up and see the pure and utter hatred you've developed for me just like the rest of the people in my life."

You felt your lungs stop filling with air. It was hard to get any in, you were just breathless. How were you suppose to breathe after that? Now you had a decent idea of what that conversation he had with Bonnie was.

"No. You don't get to do that, you can't push me away. I'm not here because your a chore Kai, I care about you, and I want to be with you-"

"Do you seriously have no respect for yourself?!"

"Do you?!"

"No! Because all my respect goes to you! Everything I have goes to you! And because I respect you, and because you are literally the only thing on earth that I actually truly care about I have to do this-"

"No you don't-"

"I'm br-"

"No your not!" You groaned, covering you ears as if that would effect the outcome of this situation.

"Stop being so stubborn."

"Kiss me."

"No,"

"Just do it, Kai! Kiss me, and we can make up and forget this whole conversation!"

"How can you seriously fucking stand there and act like I'm not going to ruin your life. I murdered my own siblings in cold blood. And I'd do it again, y/n. I don't feel bad, I never felt bad. I've done so many bad things and your standing here looking at me like I'm a fucking Saint who deserves the happiness you give!"

You remained silent.

"Is that what you want? To see how bad I can be? To wait for the day where you can see Malachi Parker in action? Be there when he finally breaks?! Again!" He scoffed and you shook your head, but no word escaped. "You know what" his eyes set on you, desperate to make you see what everyone else sees when they look at him. "Maybe i can get to your head, if I let you in mine." He spoke walking to you, hands on your temples before you could even move.

You tried to break from him hold be you weren't nearly as strong as he was. He was mumbling something under his breath and soon your whole body became numb. Your mouth feel open as you let out groans of pain as bloody images fill your head, and guilt and remorse and hurt filled your heart. Screams and cries ringing in your mind, but none you've ever heard before. People you've never seen crying, and struggling to run from you. Only it wasn't you they were running from. It was Kai.

His memories flooded your brain all at the same time. You had no idea had to process everything you were seeing. All the pain in your chest amplifying somehow with a deeper emotional pain. But most of that wasn't yours either. It was his too. Loneliness and Exhaustion. Hate and Longing. It was overwhelming along with the pictures and sounds running amok in your head. Soon pictures of Bonnie had flashed through your mind, and Jo, and Damon. Blood, and more blood, nothing wasn't covered in blood, and with every passing second the pain in your chest worsened. Cries of his name, and blood curdling screams filling your head, some of which belonged to you. That was when you felt the worse pain. Hearing your own screams caused a panic, and seeing your own body covered in blood, watching your body fall just earlier as your head collided with the end table. Sheer panic and anguish for some reason. But the last image to intrude your thoughts seemed like a not so distant memory of his. One of you. Even if your head wasn't being taken over you wouldn't have remembered because in this moment he wasn't with you. He was sitting across the grill watching you dunked your fries into a strawberry milkshake with a huge smile on your face in front of your friends. You seemed happy, and it was like you were witnessing someone come back to life. First grief hit you hard, then relief and joy, and then reality set in and it was like you realized that it was all just dream and that person was still dead and never coming back and you were never going to be happy again.

He tore his hands away from you, allow you to steal in some oxygen and you went dizzy, using the car for support so you wouldn't collapse on the ground. Your chest heaving as you tried to reel in your mind what you just saw, what you felt, what you heard. All of his memories. All of the bad things he's ever done, or things he would consider to be bad. But in his mind, it was only reason that you would probably be more inclined to leave him for.

Through every memories you were overwhelmed with emotions. Whatever you could feel you felt. You didn't know which emotions were yours or his. You couldn't separate the feelings. But in some weird way you could tell that the pain and anguish churning in your gut was his. You didn't know his family well enough to have regrets, or remorse... that was all him. All the fronts he put up... all those emotions exposed everything.

"Get in the car." He spoke softly, helping you off the car so he could open the door. "You don't need to say anything, I'm taking you home and then I'll be gone." He spoke as if he knew that you wanted to be nowhere near him.

Instead, you just wanted to give him a hug. That gut wrenching pain he felt still lingering within your body. Tears streaming down your cheeks but not because of what you saw, but how he felt. Every one of your friends have done things of equal evil status. Judging him for things he obviously did regret and feel everyday wouldn't be fair to him. And whether you felt like that because you wanted to be fair or because you were in love with him was a mystery to even you.

You didn't speak, you just sat in the car staring ahead of you. Trying to determine how you really truly felt. Why was him seeing you so bad that he felt he needed to include that memory in his mind torture. You barely felt time move as he flew down the road at the same speed as before. When he parked in front of the apartment the two of you shared, he decided he would just stay out and drive all night. He didn't know where to go. He knew you probably wouldn't want him around. You stared blankly at the red bricked building with the dim lights hanging from the walls.

"Y/N." He spoke softly, not wanting to look at the tears running down your cheeks.

"Kai." You returned, voice soft and brittle unaware of how vulnerable you sounded to him. "Why do you consider meeting me a bad thing?" You asked, not a single other word coming to mind.

"I don't regret meeting you. I regret putting you in this position in the first place. And if I didn't insert myself into your life then-"

"Then you wouldn't be breaking up with me on the side of the road. Leaving me alone to spend the rest of my life wondering what I did wrong to push you away. To wonder why my love wasn't good enough reassurance-" you rambled not sure why everything was coming out of your lips.

"then you wouldn't be crying right now. Then you could've avoided all of this." He sighed in response. He hated when you cried, if it was anyone else it would've been annoying. Your tears always were the one thing that could truly break him into pieces. "When I met you... when I met you, I was so sure that you were just going to ignore me or hate my guts. I fucking left your friend in a prison world to die, y/n. I tortured you, yet you still see me as someone who's able to be redeemed. You SAW what I did, and your still defending me!" His own tears starting to pool. "I d-don't want you to hate me... and I don't want to do this... but I do want to be happy and I don't think you could ever really do that until I'm out of your life." You silently shook your head as you tried not to let your own tears keep falling. Your heart clenching in your chest, breathing getting harder to achieve.

You didn't speak.

You couldn't.

Pain hitting you harder as each second passed. You didn't know how to respond to be truthful so you just unbuckle your seat belt. You sniffled, waking the tears from you cheeks only to has fresh one replace the one you wiped away. Kai still refused to look at you, maybe you finally did she was shitty person her was. And how stupid you were for being with him. You opened the door, getting out quickly hoping he follow you but he didn't. You were still a bit dizzy from him flooding his memories through your head. You're steps were slow and wobbly and you were bound to fall in seconds but you just kept moving. To any who didn't know what you've just been through, you were just so drunk sorority girl trying to make it to the door.

Kai watched you struggled for a second, knowing you could hold your own, but he didn't want you to. He got out of the car, not even caring about locking it behind himself. His feet carried the rest him over to you. Almost as if his body was acting on instinct to help you. His arm wrapped around you, your sweet scent immediately wafting into his nose causing a tear to slip down his cheek. He ignored it, helping you, and you just let him. You didn't feel like fighting. You just wanted his touch on your skin, so you allowed him to help you.

Many thoughts flooded your head. He was as bad as everyone said he was. But you he'd never hurt you, in any way. He wouldn't hurt anyone else because that would hurt you. He was good because he wanted to be, but only for you. No one else has ever really given him good enough reason to be good. You knew he wasn't the same person that he was, and tonight just cleared it all up. It didn't stop you from loving him. It just gave you all the more reason to. You've seen your best friends do worst than him, who were you to cash him out for something he's going to feel his entire life?

You didn't speak the entire way to your front door. He unlocked the door for you, hoping you would just be able to walk and get some rest on the couch or something.

You had other plans.

You stood straight on your own, looking back to the brown haired siphon who realized he was just fooled into a trap. Your hands reached for his, taking his hand in yours quickly before he could walk away.

"Y/n, please, it's easier this way just let me go-"

"You showed me your worst moment so I want to show you my best." You spoke. Eyes dead set on his, hands gripping each other's, neither one of you wanting to let each other go. "Please." You let out a small breath.

"This is going to make it a lot harder-"

"That's the point, Malachi." You sniffle, holding in a tiny laugh.

"Okay." He whispered, preparing himself for the rush of emotions and memories flooding through his head like he did to you. You pulled your hands from his, placing them on each of his temple before beginning the spell.

It wasn't long before he felt your presence in his mind, his on thoughts being taken over with your own thoughts. At first it was a horrible feeling watching every time you were happy, knowing he was never going to be able to see that from you again. Not if he kept his promise. He wouldn't to push you away, his chest light and full with joy and a love so over it was almost crushing. He watched as memories of times you spent with him. From your first date, to that one joke he cracked the made you laugh when he first kidnapped you just to torture you for practice. He watched as he teased you, to the first time the two of you had sex, to the first I love yous, and he felt how warm inside it made you at the fact that he never over used the words. You knew he loved you even when he didn't physically say those words. You felt his love every time you were around him, and that was enough for you.

   He felt a soft smile forming on his lips but he could tell if it was from your happiness or knowing how much he really meant to you. Memories of late night cries, and arguments ending in angry sex, and sneaking out of classes, and talking trash about your friends even though you would never said something too horrible about them.

  You liked who you were with him. You loved who you were. And he felt all of that, he felt how much love you held for him, how much pain you were in to think about him leaving. And eventually that strong happy, lovely, calm feeling was stripped away from him, leaving him empty for a moment before he felt you hands against his cheeks.

  You were holding his face, staring straight into his eyes, both of you almost to the point of sobs. You were praying to god that you're plan worked. The hell were you going to do if it didn't?

  "Don't leave me, Kai."

"Y/N-"

   "I'll follow you to the ends of the earth, Kai. Let me love you, please." You pleaded, bodies moving closer together without each other even realizing. It was natural for you to be close with him, you never questioned it.

  He didn't want to say no. But he owed it to you to say no.

"You saw what I did-"

"And you saw how much I love you-"

  "You watched in first person how I killed four of my siblings-"

  "And you watched from my point of view how badly I fell in love with you."

  You just wanted to kiss and make up. You would fall apart if he left you alone. Especially if he was doing it for your own 'happiness' because that meant he thought you weren't happy with him. It was upsetting and slightly insulting, because you were the happiest you've ever been with him.

  "I just want to do the right thing, baby." He whimpered quietly, you're heart nearly breaking in a million pieces. His tearing streaming quickly, mentally slapping himself for being so weak for you.

  "Then stay... stay and make me the happiest person in the entire world. We could graduate together and get a small house in the suburbs, or- or we could leave. Right now. Travel all across the world, experiencing so many different things together." You offered meaning every word.

  At some point in the silence that seemed to last for forever, one of you couldn't take it anymore. You didn't care to pay attention which one of you, but your lips connected, smooshing your faces together to be as close as possible. Tears mixing on each other's cheeks, his hands down on your waist pulling you closer into him as you both made you're way inside your shared home.

  He used his foot to kick the door closed, being careful to touch you oh so gently. You were a fragile peace of glass to him, the most beautiful sculpture who had no business being with him. He did nothing to deserve you, yet you felt he deserved you more than anyone in the world. You wasted so many years on him tonight, and for some reason you didn't care anymore. He was here, he was on you, his hands, his lips, your minds in sync for each and every single one of your next moves.

   Clothes slowly being tossed the the floor as you both backed each other to your bedroom through the dark apartment. By the time you reached the bed the only thing you had left were you bra and underwear, along with his shirt and boxers. Neither of you had even bothered to pull apart for a single breath. You allowed him to gently lower you on the poorly made bed.

   "Mmh, w-wait-" he mumbled against your lips. Youre legs parting for him to slip between which he did without thinking. "This is wrong-"

  "No, it's not?" You spoke in confusion. "I love you, Kai. I don't care what Bonnie said, because she doesn't know what this feels like." You shake your head.

  "Find someone else to ruin and let her go" Kai quoted, your grip on him tightening. "I don't want to-"

  "Maybe I want you to ruin me. To fuck up my life. To fuck up my morals just because I love you. I want that, Kai. I want every bit of it. I want this love that consumes me from the inside out, and I want to be able to go against everything I believe for you. I. Love. You." His hands traveling down your waist, as you let out a sigh.

  "I love you." He mumbled. "I love you so fucking much." His lips came down on your collarbone, fingers slipping under you panties waistbands before snapping his fingers to get rid of them. You felt the cold air against your slick heat, the warmth from his own body radiating into yours. His hips grinding down into your, his hardon pressing into you causing a light whimpering as you felt the butterflies raging into the pair of your stomach.

"I just wanna be with you, baby." You let out a soft moan, urging him on as he nips and sucked red marks onto your skin.

You used your own magic to undo the threads of his plain blue shirt as you dragged your hand down his back. The fabric slipping down his arms which he didn't mind. He was too focus on your warm skin under his tongue. His teeth grazing across your skin, coming closed with a tiny pinch every time. Your chest heaving into his from the closeness, and heat of it all. 

   "Tell me to stop” he mumbled against your skin, hips grinding into your heat as you let out needy moans.

“I need you, Kai, please.” Your lip caught in between your teeth, as the cloth of his underwear separating the two of you disappeared. “I want you so bad.” You whined, fingers digging into the soft warm skin on his back.

You felt his hard on slipping between your slick folds as he rocked his hips back and forth. He wanted to feel you, he wanted you to feel him. He never wanted to leave your side, or go a moment without feeling your warmth. He loved you with every fiber of his being, and there was no possible way he could truly explain that to you.

“Please-” you pleaded before he slowly pushed himself into you. Your mouth hung open as his length filled you to the brim, the tip of his cock hitting that hot spongy spot in your cunt so well you could help but moan. He always did fill you up perfectly, almost as if he was made for you or vice versa. “Oh my god.” You whined, hips grinding into his as his hips set a steady pace.

Your legs resting around his waist, as you let out small breathy moans. He was fucking into you hard, but it still felt amazing. He wanted to take his time with you and you felt it. Your body tingling, mind focused solely on him and everywhere your skin touched his. You felt his lips connected with you neck, continuing to suck soft bruised on the skin, placing a soft kiss after each one whispering a single ‘I love you’ each time. His hands left your waist, traveling up your beautiful naked body, taking all the warmth he could, until he traced your hands to his back. He pulled the off, even though he enjoying the sting of your nails digging into his skin, pinning your hands down above you head. His hands flat onto of yours, fingers intertwining as his lips found yours again, your kisses sloppy and slow. The sound of skin on skin filling the room as his pace quickened earning louder breathier moans from your pretty little mouth.

You felt a bubbling heat in the pit of your stomach signaling you were close to your high. Eyes struggling to sty open, as your boyfriend fucked into you so lovingly. It became harder to do anything other than focus on the feeling of him hitting so deep into you he’s almost hit your cervix. The kisses became harder to return and nothing but the sound of you filled the room. He watched in complete awe as you as you slowly began to fall apart. You were the most beautiful creatures he’s ever laid his eyes on, and he had you here underneath him on your way to this euphoric high that he him caused. His name coming out of your mouth in quiet moans and pleads and warning of you about to explode all over his dick. You were all he’s ever wanted out of life, and now he had you and there was no one and nothing that would take you away from him except for death itself.

You were his and that was final.

“Open your eyes baby, look at me.” He groaned as he felt your cunt convulsing around him so tightly.

You struggled with the actions, your eyes focusing on his eyes as you cried out in pleasure. “I’m so close, Kai, fuck, I’m going to cum.” You whined and he nodded watching as your breathing got heavier.

“Cum for me, baby, cum all over me.” He urged you on, feeling his own high approaching.

You felt something inside you explode, a loud moan his name escaping your lips, all your juices spilling onto his hard cock a he continued fucking you through your high. You body jolting and shaking around him, as he went faster, eyes rolling to the back of your head as you realizing you weren’t done yet.

“So close.” He mumbled, hands squeezing your so tightly you felt as if they were going to break. You ignored the pain of having your hard crush and just let out absorber moan from another orgasm building quickly.

“M’gonna c-cum again!” You warned, strained voice loud and needy.

“Me too baby” Kai moaned back, watching your eyes squeeze shut again taking in the way your body shook around him. “Let go y/n, I know you want to.” He spoke out of breath.

You felt his thrust getting sloppily, but he tried keeping up the pace. His own body stiffening as his cock twitch in you as you clenched around him again. Both of your falling apart with loud moans, and whimpering of each other names, lips coming together again as he spilt every last bit of his hot cum into your beautifully worn out cunt.

Neither of you spoke any words. Just your reveled in each other’s tongues, allowed you naked bodies to somehow merge into one. You felt a sudden tiredness take over you as it did the same to him.

“I don’t want to let you go.” He whispered into your lips.

“Then don’t. Let’s stay this way forever.” You hummed, squeezing his hands in yours.

“Deal.”

#wattpad #aesthetic #teaser #the cw legacies #vampire diaries #damon salvatore #kai parker smut #stefan salvatore #malachi parker #kai x reader #kai parker #cobrakai1972

[robininthelabyrinth]

Curse-breaker (Chapter 3/4)

- ao3 -

There were more guards than usual around the Unclean Realm, undoubtedly as a result of Wen Ruohan’s refusal to move from their gate, but that wasn’t a problem for them.

They knew all the ways in and out.

New ways, like the hole in the wall their little brother had teamed up with his best friend to carve out so that the two of them could leave little gifts and pass messages to them, and old ways, ancient ways, the ways of the dead that they’d learned from the still-lingering saber spirits that burned in rage and hate forever like an endless longevity candle.

Rage, and hated – but also love.

The saber spirits didn’t have to keep burning, keep fighting, but that was what their masters had wanted, and so they did. They fought against evil, time and time again, forever and always, and through their endless battle, in their hearts, their masters were never truly lost.

It was that simple.

It was that complicated.

It was time, they thought, to straighten things out. The saber spirits meant it as a gift, but the masters saw it as a burden; that wasn’t how it was meant to be at all – they just didn’t understand each other, steel and flesh speaking different tongues, meaning different things. The gaping chasm of understanding between life and not-life, which no one could bridge.

Well.

No one until them, anyway.

If a fish and a bird fell in love, where would they live?

On the shore, they thought. Right in the middle.

All they needed was someone to tell them that was an option.

It was time.

They passed like a formless spirit themselves through the many walls and guards in their path, heading to the sect leader’s study, as familiar to them as their own palms. Inside they found what was familiar, too: the heat-rage-pride pulse of Jiwei, resting in pride of place by her master’s side, and beside her was her master, their father, standing with his hands folded behind his back and looking out the window into the distance as if it would give him answers to questions that had eaten away at him his whole life.

They approached.

They were detected, of course.

“I already said that I didn’t want to be disturbed,” their father said, and although they had snuck close many times to hear him speaking, that beloved voice more familiar to them than their own, not daring to talk to him as they did to Huaisang who had always promised to keep their secret, there was still something different about hearing it so near, without walls between them.

They sighed happily.

“Didn’t you hear me? I said…Jiwei? What’s gotten you so excited –”

Their father turned.

His jaw dropped, eyes going wide and round as saucers, an absurd and silly look that suited him so much better than did the grim scowl and sad listlessness, interspersed with increasingly frequent bouts of uncontrollable rage, that he wore on his face more often than not these days.

What they had in mind would hurt, they knew, and equally they knew that they would not be able to act if they did not act fast – they were loathe to hurt people, much less people that they loved, and those that they loved would be equally unable to bear to see them hurt, yet both were necessary now, if they were to do what they had decided to do.

They did not allow themselves time to doubt.

They moved forward as quickly as a saber strike, sure and true, and their hands connected with their father’s chest and belly, heart and dantian both, with enough power to knock the breath out of him, taking advantage of his shock to strike when he would not even think of dodging.

In that moment of breathlessness, they latched on – latched on, and pulled.

What-are-you-doing-stop-that, Jiwei said, but even her ceaseless rage was blunted by the joy of seeing them once more.

You are hurting him.

I-am-not-I-am-refining-him-I-am-strengthening-him-as-he-strengthens-me-He-is-my-master-and-I-love-him.

You are hurting him, they insisted. Flesh is different. Flesh is brittle. Too much strength, and he will break.

Let me show you.

It hurt, of course, just as they’d expected. Not as much as when they’d shattered, though, and it was that – and perhaps only that – that allowed them to persist, using themselves as a cauldron, forcing their qi that was neither wholly spiritual nor resentful, neither fully alive or un-alive, through their father’s meridians, reshaping them as they went to be something capable of accepting the harsh, resentful, corrosive love of a saber spirit.

When they were done, their father stared at Jiwei, hearing her sing in his soul with an unprecedented clarity, feeling her love for him the way she meant for it to be felt, feeding his own love back to her in equal measure, giving everything of himself without holding back to the only thing on earth that he had ever loved without restraint.

His eyes were clear.

“A-Jue,” he whispered. “A-Jue…what is this?”

“A gift,” they said, their voice raspy with disuse. “Of many years making. I’m sorry that it took so long.”

Their father, unbreakable, burst into tears.

-

Later, when their father, his eyes still wet (though now from laughter rather than relief), told them about the ‘curse’, about his promise, about the rumors, and even about Wen Ruohan waiting for the chance to repent of his regrets, they thought about it for a while and said: “Let me see him.”

-

Wen Ruohan had done many things worthy of condemnation in his long life.

He had schemed and plotted, playing the hero and the villain both in their turn; he had fought in wars of such brutality that the current generation could not even begin to comprehend them, and he had also murdered in vile and underhanded ways, abandoning all integrity and righteousness, to ensure that such wars did not happen again. He had sought to strengthen himself by means both fair and foul, betrayed who he had to betray and stepped on who he had to step on; he had followed his ancestor’s path with his head held high until he had very nearly become a god.

He was not accustomed to regret.

Not accustomed did not mean immune: there were things he regretted, of course. The loss of his first family, the two sons and a daughter that he had failed so thoroughly that he still could not stand to hear the sound of their names, each one declared utterly taboo within the Nightless City – the wife he had married for power and then divorced in a fit of temper, driving her and her not-so-secret lover to the end of their rope in unspeakable desperation – the faithful servants he had sacrificed as pawns in his power plays and only afterwards realized how much he had relied upon them –

His brother.

His curse.

If by some miracle of fate he could choose to change a single thing in the ancient life that he had so far lived, it would unquestionably be the death of his brother.

Wen Ruohan had had quite a few brothers, in fact – his father, much like the usual style of leaders of the Wen sect, had fancied himself both empire-builder and emperor, and had had children accordingly, both his own and those he’d adopted, with all the headache-induing and often life-threatening dramatics associated with that – but to Wen Ruohan, there had only really ever been one that mattered.

Only one.

Wen Ruohan didn’t even remember any longer whether Wen Ruoyu had been his blood-related brother, sharing a father and maybe a mother, or if he’d been some child seized from another sect and given the Wen surname to help grow their power. It hadn’t mattered to him back then and it didn’t matter to him still, for all that he now prized his personal bloodline even above merit.

All that mattered was that Wen Ruohan had loved Wen Ruoyu more than he’d ever loved anything in his life, more than his sect, more than cultivation, more than power, and that Wen Ruoyu had died not knowing it. Had died cursing his name, spitting blood onto his face, fingers scrabbling at his neck in a futile attempt to choke him, wishing with his final breath that Wen Ruohan would never again know a single moment of peace.

Well, he hadn’t.

Ever the dutiful brother, he closed his eyes to nightmares, and woke to dreariness. He madly sought power enough to ensure that such a thing would never happen to him again, only for his obsessive quest to drive his few remaining loved ones into the grave; he had very nearly succeeded in becoming a god, and lost all interest in life in the process. The only joys remaining to him were his ever-growing power, his ever-expanding sect, and, sometimes, the blood and pain of other people, which he used as a reminder that he was not truly alone in this world.

And Lao Nie, of course.

Wen Ruohan had almost entirely succeeding in sealing off all of his emotions by the time Lao Nie showed up, smiling and carefree and reckless, half in love with the death he knew awaited him – showed up and battered down all of Wen Ruohan’s defenses. Wen Ruohan wished, now more than ever, that he had carried on in his attempts to make himself a true god, above all humanity, and not yielded to the siren call of friendship. Perhaps if he had been a god, he wouldn’t have been so hurt when Lao Nie barreled onwards with his life, leaving him behind not once but thrice – perhaps he wouldn’t have tried to kill him.

Perhaps he wouldn’t have nearly murdered the little boy that Lao Nie had on occasion shoved into his arms during a visit, no matter how many times Wen Ruohan reminded him that it was inappropriate – the little serious one who looked so bewildered by it all but who still called him Sect Leader Wen the way Wen Ruohan instructed rather than listening to his father’s not-quite-joking suggestions of ‘Uncle Wen’, the little crybaby that had all unknowingly once tricked Lan Qiren into a logical conundrum that had made the man’s mind splutter out like a machine falling all to bits while Wen Ruohan and Lao Nie had roared with laughter…the one that had been charming enough to make him change his mind and opt to keep little Wen Xu around instead of sending him out to be adopted into the branch families the way he had with the other children he’d refused to acknowledge, mourning as he still did his first family.

He hadn’t meant to hurt Nie Mingjue.

Not like that, anyway.

It’d taken some time for the regret to creep in – his initial bout of horror had been more shock and irritation at having hit the wrong target, the shame of making such an elementary error to hit a boy he hadn’t seen in years rather than the man standing right in front of him, and then he’d shrugged it off, thinking to himself that the loss of a son would be as good a way to punish Lao Nie as the loss of his life. It wasn’t until his spies in the Unclean Realm came back and described to him what he had wrought…

Nie Mingjue didn’t look anything like Wen Ruoyu, not really, but in Wen Ruohan’s dreams he wept tears of blood in just the same way, spitting up foam as his eyes rolled in his head, dying – dying – dead.

Not dead.

It wasn’t a curse, Wen Ruohan knew, but if there was something he could do – anything he could do – he would do it.

He had to.

“You have to let him go,” someone said, and Wen Ruohan looked up in surprise: he’d been waiting for half a day already and god or no god, his legs were numb with sitting.

He didn’t recognize the too-tall young man who stared down at him, one eyeball eerily colored red and steel grey – the young man’s clothing was non-descript and ill-fitting, mismatched as if he’d picked it off some laundry pile without thought of coordination. There was something of the Nie in his face, the breadth of his shoulders, but his features were finer and sharper, his waist more slender, his fingers lacking in the familiar calluses of the saber; he looked like he’d be a fierce war god when he’d grown into his body but that he hadn’t quite gotten there yet.

His golden core shone.

Wen Ruohan stared. His lust for power had long ago become an essential part of him, and in front of him was power, power at such a young age – if he could claim that cultivation for his own, maybe he could stop describing himself as nearly a god, could actually call down a heavenly tribulation and leap up to join the heavens in a single bound.

And then, maybe then, at last, he could have peace.

“You have to let him go,” the young man said a second time, and Wen Ruohan was distracted by wondering what he meant, not sure he understood and not entirely sure he cared. “That’s the only way. You have to let him go.”

He shifted forward, and something inside Wen Ruohan warned that he would strike.

It seemed ridiculous, though. Wen Ruohan, the finest living master of arrays, was not afraid of anything this young man might try to do – only a spiritual sword could pierce his armor, and even that, only one that took him utterly by surprise. No one would dare try to strike him.

Especially not this young man, who carried neither sword or saber.

Perhaps that was why Wen Ruohan never saw it coming – the young man’s hand moved in a jabbing motion, the way a sword would swing, and suddenly, impossibly, there was sword intent given physical form through spiritual energy, piecing through his defenses, slashing down at him and aiming right at his neck.

-

“Let me get this straight,” Lan Qiren said, rubbing his forehead. “Nie Mingjue reappeared after something like ten years out alone in the wild, and when he did he brought some sort of technique that just…fixed the Nie sect cultivation issue. The one that was killing you, and has been killing your ancestors for – generations.”

Lao Nie nodded.

“And then you allowed him to see Sect Leader Wen, who he attacked…in a way that happened to mimic some old tragedy that has apparently haunted him for years, thereby allowing him to resolve some long-held heart demon. And now Sect Leader Wen has retreated into seclusion in order to explore this moment of enlightenment further, and doesn’t intend to bother the rest of us for a while. Certainly not by continuing his schemes to take over the cultivation world.”

“That’s right,” Lao Nie said. “Though I don’t expect he’ll be in seclusion all that long; the Wen sect doesn’t practice –”

Lan Qiren held up a hand, indicating he wasn’t done and didn’t appreciate being interrupted.

Lao Nie obediently fell silent.

“And then,” and by now Lan Qiren was speaking through somewhat gritted teeth, “when Sect Leader Jin rushed over because he wanted to get in on what he perceived to be Wen Ruohan’s attempted takeover of the Qinghe Nie, your son attacked him, too – except in this case, he crippled him.”

“I did say anyone who trespassed would be killed on sight,” Lao Nie said, entirely unbothered. Because of course he wasn’t – why would anyone think that suddenly being freed of a lifetime’s death sentence would make him less reckless and shameless? If anything, his overwhelming joy had just made him even more arrogant and inclined to insist on getting his own way. “It’s been known for years, and no exceptions have ever been made, not even for sect leaders. Why should Jin Guangshan think himself different?”

“That’s a terrible excuse,” Lan Qiren scolded. “And besides the point.”

“What is the point?”

Lan Qiren opened his mouth, then stopped, thought it over, and sighed. “The point is, I suppose – are you going to the Jiang sect next?”

Lao Nie blinked. “The – Jiang sect? Why?”

“Because instead of the cultivation world breaking the ‘curse’ on your son, your son has apparently taken to breaking the curses of the cultivation world,” Lan Qiren said dryly. “And he’s already gotten four out of the five Great Sects, so why not complete the set?”

Lao Nie’s lips quirked. “Four? I can see the others: my Nie sect’s qi deviations, Wen Ruohan’s madness for power, the Jin sect’s terrible luck in getting that scheming old lecher selected as their next sect leader…but what did he do for the Lan sect?”

“It was in his name that you forced my brother out of seclusion all those years ago,” Lan Qiren pointed out. “And now I spend half of every year traveling wherever I wish, and the other half teaching; it is everything I would have wanted. Meanwhile, my brother has finally through his children learned what it means to care for others instead of rotting to death in a self-imposed grave built from ill-fated love…if that’s not curse-breaking, what is?”

#mdzs #nie mingjue #sect leader nie #wen ruohan #lan qiren #my fic #my fics #cursebreaker

[hops-hunny]

Pride Lost, Feelings Found

Pairing: Neville Longbottom x Reader

Pronouns: They/Them

Word Count: 2.2k

Request: @summerstardust  “Could you do a Neville with a gender neutral reader. It can fluff/smut/bit of both 🤷, whatever you want. With the prompts: 4. "You think she looks at me? Am I invisible?”, 12. "I’ve always liked you, you’ve just never noticed.” and 17. "Make me fall in love with you.”

Maybe where Neville is secretly crushing on the reader from afar and the reader is told, in some way, about this and he just runs away from the scene. Then the reader follows and finds him and tells him that they want to get to know him.

Don’t feel pressured to use this idea, though. I am just feeling a bit angsty at the moment. Thank you! :)”

Summary: It all crumbles down before Neville’s eyes, but it’s replaced with something he’d never expect.

Warnings: angst but it turns to fluff!!

A/N: Ok ok, if you want a part 2 with what happens after reader says that? Lmk and I’ll probably write it! I’m so sorry this took so long esp for one of my favorite readers. I hope you enjoy <3

4. "You think she looks at me? Am I invisible?” 

12. "I’ve always liked you, you’ve just never noticed.” 

17. "Make me fall in love with you.”

Sometimes Neville wish he had never noticed (Y/n). But when you shine as bright as they did, how couldn't you notice? They bewitching, enchanting everyone around them with a simple smile, him included. However when miracles as amazing as (Y/n) come to be, so does a lot of attention. He adored everything about them, the way they always smeared their ink on their scroll when they wrote, how they’d walk into class every morning with that same sleepy expression, even down to the way they’d always have to pull their socks up because they got the wrong size and they’d fall down. They was his dream partner. But sadly, that’s the thing about dream lovers, they’re meant to stay dreams.

From as long as Neville could remember, he had been on the bottom of the social ladder. Hell, when your familiar (who is also a toad) causes a wild goose chase during your first years at a new school, it’s really not hard to understand why. If it had been someone else instead of him, he would've made fun of them too. He was a loser and no one would ever let him forget. Not his friends, not Malfoy, not anyone. But they did. In all his years at Hogwarts, (Y/n) had never made him feel like a loser. Every interaction the two of them had made him feel normal, like himself.

Granted every interaction they had was small. Accidentally bumping into them in the halls, a tight lip smile when eye contact was made. One time he thought (Y/n) was waving to him but was in fact waving to their friend behind him but luckily they hadn't seen (Malfoy definitely did..). Out of all the people who could have noticed the way he looked at them or the way his cheeks would turn red when they'd pass him it had to be Malloy. That was awful for a multitude of reasons. One being that for some reason, (L/n) and Malfoy were the best of friends. Everyday he wished that it was him who got sat next to them in potions instead of that weasel of a boy. The second reason being that despite knowing how Neville felt for them, he still had yet to do anything with the information. To most people, they’d be relieved if Malfoy found out one of their most personal pieces of information and had yet to do anything but, Neville knew better. Draco was a vile creature and if he hadn’t teased him about it yet, that surely meant something even greater was coming. Something truly awful and devastating. 

The first week after Malfoy found out had Neville staying up to the break of dawn, stirring around restlessly at the thought of what he’d do. Would he spill something on him when he was set to have a class with them, tape a note to the back of his shirt with the information on it, or worse...no, no. Not even Malfoy was cruel enough to do that! If anything, if he was going to tell (Y/n) he’d probably do it when Neville wasn’t around so they could come up to him and reject him at random. Although it was sad, what got Neville to sleep at night was imagining that they already knew. That (Y/n) was more than aware and it was only a matter of time till they’d reject him and his life would go back to normal without any pesky thoughts of how beautiful he found them to be.

--------------------------------

Seamus’s words went in one of Neville’s ears and right back out of the other, sounding like white noise to the boy. He couldn’t listen to whatever idiotic thing he was going on about. How could he when (Y/n) was a few feet away, looking just as gorgeous as they usually did? It was hard not to focus on them, the way their pretty lips would curl into a smile, giggling at something one of their friends had said. He felt a smile grace his own lips at the sight, letting out a noise of protest as Ron chucked a cushion at his head.

“Are you even, listening Longbottom?” he heard him ask, still not ripping his eyes away from the (y/h/h) across the hall.

“You think they look at me? Am I invisible?” he asked in a hushed tone, as if he was to speak any louder, they would somehow hear them despite them being so far away. Seamus let out a loud snort, beginning to cackle as he slapped the boy on the back a bit too hard.

“Fat chance, Longbottom! You think (L/n) would notice you? They wouldn’t even notice me, and that’s saying something!” Seamus wheezed out. Neville shot him a pointed glare, fuming from the boy’s words. He shoved him off the couch, rolling his eyes.

“It’s not that people don’t notice you Seamus….it’s that they do for all the wrong reasons.” Dean pointed out, causing the other 3 to laugh, growing louder as Seamus failed to push himself off the ground. 

“Oh don’t worry, Longbottom. (L/n) will be sure to notice you soon enough.” he froze at the sound of the cold voice, turning around to look at the platinum blonde prince himself. Draco stood their, smirking. Crabbe and Goyle tried to nod along when in reality, they had no idea what their leader was going on about. Neville gulped, standing up to face him completely.

“W-what do you mean?” he asked him, wiping his sweaty palms on his pants. Draco simply shrugged, beginning to walk in the opposite direction. He turned around briefly looking the boy up and down.

“Means exactly what I said. Nothing more, nothing less. Well as much as I’d love to stay around and lose brain cells with you idiots, I’ve got better things to attend to.” and with that he left.

“Don’t worry, Nev. Draco is always just talk, I’m sure nothing will come of it.” Harry said, offering the boy a reassuring smile. Although Neville knew he meant well, he couldn’t stop the sinking, tight feeling in his chest. Draco had yet to do something so he had no reason to feel this way, but it was just a hunch that the worst was yet to come.

Even hours later, as Neville lay in his bed that night, all he could think about were the words that echoed throughout his head over and over.

“Oh don’t worry, Longbottom. (L/n) will be sure to notice you soon enough.”

He didn’t know if he was grateful for how vague that was or if it was the bane of his days. Draco could’ve meant anything by that, all he knew is whatever it meant the intent behind his words were less than kind. He turned again, sighing as he looked out the window. There was a full moon tonight, a beautiful silver halo of light dancing its way around it. 

“Merlin, save me please.” he pleaded quietly, to no one in particular. Every bit of hope, every positive thought laced in his words. Although he prepared for the worse to happen, he had a sliver of hope that it wouldn’t. That tomorrow he’d wake up and his day would be as mundane as usual, just the way he’d like it. And if he was lucky (Y/n) would give him a small smile in the hall.

---------------------------

Neville’s small sliver of hope had grown into an entire cake. Looking back on earlier in the week, he was worried for absolutely nothing! Malfoy once again was all bark and no bite which for once, he was glad for! He let out a sigh of content as he made his way from the library, heading in the direction of the main corridor. He saw Seamus give him an uncharacteristically serious look from the small crowd that was gathered around something. As he grew closer, in the middle of the circle he saw Draco stood on a crate as (Y/n) sat next to him, listening as he read something from a paper. 

“Nev, you might wanna...might wanna leave.” Seamus whispered to him. However, he looked as people stared at him, some giggling while some look sympathetic.

“Why? What’s going o-”

“Here’s another one I found in his bin! ‘Dear (Y/n), although I’ll never give you this letter, I can’t help but write about how amazing you are! When I saw you help that injured bird the other day, I wanted nothing more than to help you tend to it. I find it funny how even when you’re sad, you manage to brighten up my day.’ God how dorky is this loser? I can’t believe he fancies you so much (Y/n)!” Draco howled in laughter, a few others joining him. Neville found himself at the forefront of the circle, frozen in his spot. That was his letter! He had started writing them as a way of coping with his feelings, knowing that the person he fancied would always be out of reach of him. “Anything to say for yourself, Longbottom?”

Neville felt tears well in his eyes, the warmth of them mixing with the heat of his red flushed face. “I...I..” he looked at (Y/n) who look like they had something to say however, he didn’t wanna stick around to hear it. Without another word, he ran off, tears streaming down his face as soon as he was far enough from anyone. In his time of despair, he ran to his only place of comfort. The one place that he wasn’t Neville, the loser who just had his feelings ripped from safe keeping in front of half the students in his year. The place where he was just Neville.

He took in a deep breath of the familiar muggy air of the greenhouse, relaxing slightly as he took a seat on the ground. “God I’m so stupid!” he wailed, tears flowing down his face. His crying grew harder, harsh hiccups shaking and jolting his body as he screamed into his knees. He knew there was a matter of time before (Y/n) was to find out, he just didn’t know it’d be like this. If this was just the pain from them learning about his feelings, he didn’t wanna know how bad he’d be wounded when they came to reject him. Neville’s head jolted up at the sound of soft footsteps making their way over to him. He noticed the familiar pair of black shoes, turning his head as they kneeled down in front of him.

“I thought you may be here! You always seemed so passionate about plants during herbology so I thought it wouldn’t hurt to check here first.” (Y/n) said, placing a hand on the boy’s knee. He looked down at where they connected, feeling his face flush slightly from the contact. “You know, your friends care about you a lot. After you ran off, Ginny came up and socked Draco straight in the face. It was quite a sight really.” they let out a soft giggle at the memory. “Hermione went in to drag her off but when she saw how smug Draco looked, she couldn’t help but to join in. While they did that, your other friends set off looking for you and I did too.”

“Why?” he asked, catching their attention. The (y/h/h) gave him a confused look, tilting their head to the side. “Why did you come looking for me? Don’t you hate me now? Gross, stupid Longbottom having a crush on Hogwart’s sweetheart. How pathetic, huh?” he sniffled, ripping his eyes away from them. He knew if he was to continue to look, a completely new set of tears would be triggered.

“Why wouldn’t I? I couldn’t live with myself if I didn’t! Although I don’t know much about you, I do know you’re a kind individual and you didn’t deserve what Draco did to you.” they said in a soft tone, moving into the spot next to Neville. They sat in silence for a moment before (Y/n) cleared their throat, looking over at him once more. “How long?”

“Pardon?”

“I mean, how long have you liked me for? I wasn’t even aware until today.” they queried curiously.

“I’ve always liked you, you’ve just never noticed. I don’t blame you for not noticing though, we’re from two different worlds. You’ve got everyone in hogwarts begging for a moment of your time and you hang out with some of the most elite and prestigious people in the castle.” he sniffled some, wiping his nose on his sleeve as he set his hand down on the cold cement ground. “It was stupid of me to let my feelings last for so long.”

“Why was it stupid?” they asked, scooting closer to him. Neville turned to look at them, losing his breath at their closeness.

“Because you don’t feel the same..not that I expected you to. You didn’t even know I existed until today.” he let out a huff of air. (Y/n) bit the inside of their cheek before placing their hand on top of Neville’s, tangling their fingers together.

“You’re right, I don’t feel the same,” they started, tightening their grip as the boy began to get up. “But that doesn’t mean I never will. Let’s get to know each other a bit more.” they leaned in closer, the feeling of both of their breath being exchanged like whispers amongst their lips. 

“Make me fall in love with you.”

TAGSLIST:@vayeya11 @pink-hufflepuff  @clancyscookies @beewitchedlou​ 

@nevillelongbottomsgirlfriend​ @redpanda-poetry​ @vibingaesthetically​

#Neville Longbottom #neville x you #neville longbottom x you #neville longbottom x reader #neville x reader #Harry Potter #harry potter imagines #harry potter imagine #harry potter x reader

[angelicmichael]

renegade

Andy Dolan x reader

Summary: After another night where Hedwig abandons Andy; reader is left with no other choice but to try and help console him the best she can.

Words: 3.6k+

Warnings: vague mentions of drugs and being intoxicated, some jealous! reader, lotsss of angst, brief fluff, mainly hurt/comfort fic tbh hehe, major Hedwig slander oops, maybe a bit of unhealthy relationships (??), slowburn, some conflict/arguing 

A\N: hey y’all, hope u enjoy this hehe. I was mostly going for a angst and fluff vibe when I wrote this but it just turned into hurt/comfort so.. hopefully it’s still enjoyable !! :) this takes place sometime in episode three probably lol. ALSO fic is named after the song Taylor swift has recently been featured in 👉🏻👈🏻

The town, Eden; regardless of its beauty was a force to be reckoned with.

Being practically forced to live in a town that was so.. particular was never something you envisioned for your future in the past, but now you wouldn’t want to be anywhere else; even given the choice.

After all how could you exactly complain?

If you were to ask any person- (or any sane person that didn’t know of Eden that well) they would say that living here would sound like complete fucking heaven. A small coastal town, a tight knit community that was overly abundant with beautiful people and drugs seemed beyond euphoric.. and it was. Atleast for the first week or two.

Looking back; you were purely fucking naïve, and far too much of a optimist to assume shit wouldn’t crash or burn eventually.

Your first red flag was Hedwig.

She was one of the first people you met, and you two quickly hit it off and became close but.. things never exactly felt right with her, per say. Maybe it was because of how guarded she was, or because of the drugs she dealt.. it was hard to tell. However; Hedwig was completely fucking harmless compared to the man she introduced you too.

Andy Dolan.

Just like everyone in Eden; he was drop dead gorgeous but.. oddly hostile. At first you only saw him at parties, ones that you tried your best to avoid him at since you knew he had a notorious temper but, Hedwig being the great friend she is introduced you to him.. and that’s all it took.

You two quickly hit it off after that night (mostly because you were tired of Hedwig being your only friend and branching out never hurt anyone.. right?). Your attraction towards each other at first was strictly platonic, that was clear in how he treated you and how careful you were around him. It was almost stupid to try and not think about how pretty he was but letting your gaze linger on him for even more than two seconds felt erroneous.

You saw almost daily (or atleast every other day) how quick he was to anger and how cold he was to nearly everyone he met.. The only exception at this point was you and Hedwig but your sure if you were to even show a sign that you had romantic interest in him, he would drop you without a second thought. That thought alone was beyond fucking torturous but it wasn’t enough to stop you from daydreaming about how soft his hair or lips probably were. Ones that you doubt you would ever get the pleasure of touching but- atleast it was a nice distraction from how fucking weird Eden truly was.

Sure, it was beyond beautiful and the weather was fairly nice most days but that didn’t make up for peoples attitudes; and you weren’t referring to Andy’s. It wasn’t hard to tell that people were strangely secretive and cliquey, which only really left you with Hedwig and Andy for your friends. No matter how pretty she was, Hedwig was really only surface level friendly so you never particularly trusted her. That only left Andy (which wasn’t exactly any better when it came to being friendly but you knew he cherished your company, which was way more you could say about Hedwig).

However; it didn’t take too long for you and Andy to form a routine. Every weekend he would throw a party and you would stay with him after. The first time it happened, it was purely because you were far too fucked up to go anywhere else (which perhaps is also why Andy finally started being nice to you..) but after that, it was a question you never had the heart to say no too.

How could you? It’s not like he exactly had anyone else which made the possibility of saying no, close to impossible. Just because everyone else who lived in Eden were assholes didn’t mean you were going to be one, which is what lead you to your current predicament.

Five calls you had made that had all been unanswered is what currently lit up your phone screen, as well as your room. It was far past midnight and instead of sleeping like any other sane person would be doing - you were calling Andy or trying too anyway but he wasn’t fucking answering.. naturally.

You weren’t calling for any particular reason, but that wasn’t the point anymore. The fact that Andy wasn’t answering was a huge warning that something was wrong, after all it was a weekday and you knew he wasn’t sleeping or exactly busy.

Unless.. He was with Hedwig?

The thought automatically made your blood run hot under your skin. The feeling seething and utterly consuming until you quickly found yourself going out to your car. Doing the only thing that you knew would make your sudden paranoia go away.

As you drove through the roads that were completely vacant of any other cars and drove past houses and neighborhoods that also looked vacant of any life - you couldn’t help but to think why you even cared.

Andy never really showed interest in you, so what if Hedwig and Andy were actually doing anything?? Unless you caught them in the act, it’s not like either of them would admit to doing shit anyway but that didn’t stop you from still feeling irrationally angry and a bit betrayed.

You didn’t realize how tight you were gripping the steering wheel until you stopped the car and had to let go of it. Your fingers unnecessarily clenched and stiff to the point where they physically ached. Not to mention, you were shaking with the possibility that you could really find them here together, but now that you were actually here- you quickly realized that there was no other car here.

Odd.

You quickly (and quietly) stepped out of the car and paced up to Andy’s house. Not bothering to knock as you let yourself in, knowing that Andy wouldn’t necessarily mind that you did so.. well, you knew if he wasn’t with Hedwig anyway.

The only thing you heard were your footsteps as you took a few steps into the house. Looking cautiously for any signs of life.. any sounds or anything that could indicate anyone was in the house at all but you found nothing.

It took your eyes a minute to adjust to the near pitch darkness that omitted from the large windows that sat on the vast majority of the living room walls. The only light came dimly from the kitchen but even that was too sparse to truly allow you to see anything.

You slid your shoes off and left them by the door, not wanting your steps to allude to your presence before you could see him first and say something. Your steps far more quiet and easier to control now that you only had socks covering your feet.

You made it about halfway up the stairs, originally trying to make a beeline to Andy’s room but quickly freezing once you heard something.

It was shallow and soft but, with the contrast of pure stark silence it was nearly fucking deafening. It was a whimper at first, and it was coming from downstairs on the couch.

Your heart sank once you realized what exactly you were listening too. The first sniffle you heard nearly making you jump from how off guard you suddenly felt; that was the last thing you were expecting to hear..

You looked down from the staircase at the couch; making out a very dim outline of someone slumped over and sitting on the edge with their head in their hands. Their chest and back heaving from how deep they were crying..

You stood idle for a moment, not knowing whether to continue standing or to leave silently but you felt as if you didn’t exactly have a option. Even without asking or being able to necessarily see; you knew who it was but even knowing this- you knew getting him to talk was a good first step.

“Andy?”

Your voice automatically cut off his sobs - almost stopping instantaneously.

You saw his hands move down from his face and drop down to his lap, his head turning up to look at you. Your eyes finally adjusting to the near pitch black atmosphere.

The silence only permeated the room for about three seconds but that was nearly far too long to withstand. Knowing how unpredictable Andy was, you didn’t know if the words that were going to come out of his mouth were going to be kind or purely vile.

You started to speak fast without a second thought, the silence driving you to immediately apologize and try to fix the damage before Andy completely went off on you.

“I’m really sorry. I just got worried because you weren’t answering my calls and I wanted to make sure you were okay, but.. obviously your not,” You said. Swallowing harshly after realizing that Andy was still diligently listening and not cutting you off or telling you to leave.. That had to be a good sign, right? “What happened?” You pressed on.

“What do you think happened?” Andy answered quickly. His voice rough and rugged from sobbing, as well as probably from previously yelling.

You slowly walked down the stairs, choosing to not shy away from his sudden outburst of anger. You weren’t exactly certain which direction you would go in once you were finished descending.. but atleast you knew Andy wasn’t fucking Hedwig. Not right now at the very least.

“Was it Hedwig?” you blindly guessed. Wanting to affirm what you were so desperately hoping wasn’t true and that you could finally relax a bit. That’s if Andy wasn’t mad that you practically broke into his house.. but he didn’t seem to be. Not right now anyway.

You heard him softly laugh in response which made you smile for a second. You could tell by how he was previously crying and in the tone of his voice that he was still hurt. His laugh wasn’t genuine in the slightest; but it showed that he was done crying for the moment which was worth a smile.

“Why does it matter to you if it was her?”

“So it was,” you affirmed.

Your feet stepped off of the final step, and you found yourself approaching Andy. The choice came naturally. The closer you got to him the more apparent it was how broken he truly looked. He stopped crying but his eyes and cheeks were still glossy and wet with tears. His lips red and trembling; among looking entirely and utterly broken there was a hint of agitation present as well. You started to wonder if Hedwig truly did something or if Andy once again was blowing things out of proportion.

“Will you tell me what happened?” You asked cautiously. Your voice was soft, not wanting to unintentionally come off as too strong or hostile.

He studied you hesitantly and with a gleam of uncertainty in his eye - but nonetheless he patted the seat next to him on the couch he was sitting on. Silently urging you to sit next to him and letting you know that he would probably tell you what happened.

At first he remained quiet. Awkwardly avoiding what he knew you wanted to talk about but he still remained silent.. but his voice suddenly broke through. Making you jump at the unexpected sound that suddenly sounded so loud, even though in reality his voice was still low in tone.

“She left me.”

You stared at him numbly for a second, not feeling necessarily surprised at his words (After all, since when was Hedwig not a flight risk?) but instead feeling weirdly a bit frustrated and sad for Andy.

You knew exactly how he felt; it wasn’t like this was the first time this ever happened but hopefully it would be the last. Seeing Andy this sad and broken over someone who in reality, didn’t give two fucks about him was beyond heartbreaking. It hurt even worse for you to keep witnessing him coming back to her though.

Just when you finally opened your mouth to speak he cut you off.

“You don’t have to say anything. I know it’s my fault and I’m such a fucking idiot-“

“Andy, stop!” You said a bit too loudly. You tried your best to hold eye contact with him when he finally turned to meet your gaze as he reluctantly looked at you. You fought the impulse to apologize for raising your voice but there was no need because you didn’t truly feel sorry. He needed to hear you out. “You need to stop blaming yourself. Hedwig’s actions aren’t your fault.. she’s like that with everyone, Andy. She’s always been-“

“I don’t give a fuck what she’s like with other people y/n! She should’ve acted differently with me, she was supposed to care about me and stay..” his words cut off with a deep inhale.

He was trying not to sob and failing miserably.

Andy quickly left the couch, taking a few steps away from you with his back turned. Trying to compose himself as you sat and.. felt entirely guilty.

Even though he had practically blown up at you; you weren’t leaving but you knew approaching him wasn’t the answer either, so you stayed seated at the couch. Hoping he would atleast sit back down next to you.

“I can’t control Hedwig or what she does, Andy but I know solely saying that I’m sorry isn’t enough either,” you started and then paused. The words you wanted to say next.. words that you knew were true but barely had the courage to say were heavy on your tongue. You knew this wasn’t exactly the time to even be thinking about how you truly felt for Andy but you couldn’t help it.

You wanted nothing more than for it to stop. His tears, his words and pleading with Hedwig, your feelings.. it wasn’t enough to just submit to it anymore and to be a witness to how you truly felt. If anything, it was slowly but surely driving you mad and you knew unless you atleast hinted at the fact that it was making you upset; Andy wouldn’t change his behavior.

You knew he payed for sex from Hedwig, it was the one thing that always kept her coming back no matter how he acted and well.. Even if his time was being bought, he liked the attention. He craved it.

It felt weird to admit to yourself that he was taking you for granted.. because he wasn’t really but, compared to how he treated Hedwig - you were definitely on the back burner. You didn’t blame him; why would he ever notice you when he could have someone like Hedwig?

You slowly looked back at Andy, noticing he was staring at you once again with glossy blue eyes which appeared dark in the lighting. A dark, almost midnight blue that would surely match the ocean waves that you could faintly hear from inside the house since the back door was open. He looked a bit annoyed but mostly intrigued. He was waiting for you to continue.

“But you deserve better, Andrew. You shouldn’t allow her to repeatedly do this to you because I know she knows how upset it makes you. She doesn’t care-“

“How do you know how Hedwig feels about me y/n?! You need to keep her name out of your fucking mouth. You don’t know her like I do,” Andy spoke roughly.

You stared at him blankly for a moment. Purely appalled that he was saying this to you in total seriousness; but you knew in reality that it was foolish to be surprised.. to not expect that he would talk to you like this eventually. After all; he blew up at everyone else, why wouldn’t he do the same to you?

You knew nothing made you inherently different and well.. this was just proving that assumption. Andy never viewed you differently from anyone else; that was now crystal clear.

Your hands started to gently tremble in your lap; and it didn’t take long for the rest of your body to follow suit. The sadness and self pity quickly washed away in what was quicker and more rapid than waves. Anger surged through your veins, forcing you to stand up suddenly. You could barely stand to make eye contact as you spoke, barely able to bear to witness how your words made him feel.

“Don’t talk to me like that. You don’t get to talk to me like that. If I didn’t randomly decide to come and check on you because I guess I’m the only one who actually gives a fuck about you, then you would’ve been alone again with no one to yell at. And maybe that would’ve been for the best,” You turned around on your heels. Walking fast and headed for the door, trying to quickly slip your shoes on before you heard Andy’s voice solemnly.

“Y/n wait.”

You stood still at first, weirdly feeling numb and waiting for the metaphorical shoe to drop. Andy’s voice was soft this time as he spoke, the roughness that was present earlier was long gone but.. you didn’t trust it.

You waited for him to catch his breath and to raise his voice and just say more words he would apologize for later; your throat tightened as you felt your body react almost instinctively. You slipped the other shoe you previously put on back off. Turning around just enough so that you could make eye contact, or attempt too with the horribly dim lighting.

“Yeah? Wait for what?”

Andy swallowed in response to your words. Almost bashfully looking down briefly to avoid saying anything or having to look at you any longer. You could see tears staining his cheeks, continuing to run down and nearly slid down his neck. He looked pathetic; and it would’ve almost been funny to see a grown man fully sob in front of you with no shame if it wasn’t your best friend and well.. the person you loved.

“Never mind. You were right; it’s probably best if you just go,” Andy’s voice cracked.

You wanted to believe that the best option for you was to turn around and leave but your judgment felt entirely skewed. Was it really the right thing to turn around and leave when he needed you? Probably not.

You knew if the roles were changed and you were the one who was upset that Andy would probably stay.. but that also depended on other circumstances as well, of course.

Stepping away from your shoes and the entrance of Andy’s house; you approached him. You tried to do so as quickly as possible before he could try to stop you or protest, but by the time he looked up you were barely a foot away.

You reached up, and with a shaky hand (that you hoped desperately he didn’t notice or wouldn’t swat away) you gently placed your fingertips on his cheek. Your thumb softly pressing against his skin, dragging your finger up as to wipe away his tears as the rest of your fingers lie under his jaw.

You tried to ignore how unsettled he looked at you doing this, and how he almost looked uncomfortable or as if he was on the brink of telling you off.. but he didn’t. He watched you diligently as you continued to brush away his tears.

“I’m sorry.. But I couldn’t stand to see you like that,” you said. Trying to give some rational explanation for your behavior even though, Andy didn’t look like he particularly cared why you were doing it. It was the fact you were doing it at all that seemed to have his interest piqued.

You tried to pull your hand back since his cheeks were dry, but he stopped you. His hand softly grabbed your wrist before his hand slid into yours.. your fingers slowly lacing together before you turned your gaze from your laced hands up to his eyes.

“Will you stay?” He asked. His voice was still rough and gravelly but this time, it was starting to sound a bit genuine.

You studied him for a second longer - your mouth dry but you knew the answer before you even spoke.

“Yeah. I’m not going to leave you Andy. I’m not Hedwig,” you spoke as if it were more of a promise rather than a statement.

You felt your stomach churn for a split second as you remembered how he scolded you earlier for talking down on Hedwig, but you smiled instead. The laughter you heard quickly subsiding your previous emotions.

“Okay,” He spoke almost uncertainly.

You could see the outline of him walking away before you felt him gently pull on your hand; making you follow him into the dark hallway which would eventually lead too, you could only guess, what would be his room.

Holding his hand like this almost felt weird but you couldn’t deny how almost.. right it felt too. Even perfect, you would dare say.

There was no way to guess what the rest of the night would entail but you didn’t exactly mind guessing; after all, how could you complain if you were to spend it with Andy?

You couldn’t. There was no way you could.

Whether it was platonic or not, spending the rest of the night right next to Andy, most likely in his clothes since you didn’t bother to bring any more of your own, sounded like heaven.

And since when did you ever complain about spending a night with someone that you had craved so bad?

Taglist: @michaellangdonstanaccount @langdonsexual @jimmason @blakescoven @dark-mei-rose @9layerdevilfoodcake @prophecy-is-inevitable @matildaofoz @beautyiswithinchaos @frenchlangdon @king-with-no-crovvn @melodylangdon @littledemondani @celestialrequiem @sojournmichael @ritualmichael @twilightzone24

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#Andy Dolan x reader #Andy x reader #Andy Dolan fanfic #andy dolan fanfiction #Andy Dolan #my fic #will crosspost to ao3 shortly #not 100% happy w this but oh well lol

[lillianofliterature]

LOTR preferences || 1/?

the first of many the lord of the rings and the hobbit preferences to come.

DO NOT REPOST.

if gifs not sourced, they were found on google, lmk if they’re yours!

(more below the cut-off)

what made them fall in love with you

aragorn

Your kindness and compassion. To Aragorn, you were the most radiant soul he had ever encountered in his life. Your innate kindness always managed to capture his attention and set his heart ablaze. You were just so good to everyone and he could never get enough of you. He often found himself just sitting in your company, listening to your conversations with the other members of your Fellowship (especially the talks you would have with the hobbits, who you seemed to enjoy the most). You were always eager to display the softest parts of yourself if it meant encouraging another.  He noticed every lovely thing about you and found himself drawn to your company at all hours of the day. 

boromir

Your strong-willed spirit and love for Gondor. Boromir could not help but find your strong-willed mind absolutely irresistible. When he had first met you amongst the council in Rivendell, he had been stunned into silence by your forthcoming opinions and wisdom on the matters at hand. In the following weeks as you travelled along with him as a member of the Fellowship, you had spoken openly about your home in Gondor and defended its integrity in your conversations. It was one night under the still, blue radiance of the Lothlorien forest that you comforted him about his strength as the son of the steward. You reassured him about the upheld honor of your shared homeland - and he knew he had found the one whom he would marry.  

faramir

The way you treat him. Faramir had never been treated to so well by anyone - other than Boromir - until you came into his life. Usually, people of the court and especially those closely associated with his father would compare him to his brother and echo the scrutinizing comments his father would always have in store for him. But with you, the loveliest soul he had ever met, he did not have to be someone he was not. You never ceased to treat him as an equal, you never compared him to anyone or anything (except to say that he was superior in practically every way), and you always found something about him to compliment. To say that falling in love with you was the easiest choice that had ever fallen upon his shoulders was an understatement. You had taught him how to gain his sense of confidence and self-worth, and Faramir adored you for it.

eomer 

You are an advocate for others. As a dear friend of his sister, Eomer had known you for most of his life, yet somehow he had been blind to the great store of strength and righteous anger you harbored against the injustice of your fellow people. It was on one day, by the fire pit in the Great Hall of his uncle, that he witnessed you lash out at the vile Grima Wormtongue, and his eyes had been opened. When Wormtongue’s unwanted compliments had once again fallen upon his sister, you had lunged to stand in front of her before he could twist his talons into her golden hair, spewing forth a barrage of defensive countermarks to his predatory nature. You had saved his sister that day and many after from the grime of a malicious minion, and Eomer soon found himself enamored by your natural tendency to become an advocate for others in any given situation. You were a voice for the oppressed, and he admired you greatly for it. 

eowyn

How you support her. The exact moment that Eowyn felt her heart align with yours was the day you encouraged her fight for equality. You never understood how there could be such strict prejudice against the strength and capability of a woman’s soul. From that first conversation onward, she found herself feeling rather supported and secure in knowing that she was not the only one who was ready to embark on a path to ensure a woman’s right to fight for her own people. From then on, Eowyn’s process of falling in love with you was a quick descension of admiration and warmth. You were an honorable person and she hardly went a day without thinking about it.

elrond

Your intelligence and humility. Elrond had known you for many centuries and had always taken note of your humble countenance and vast intelligence. You could often be found in one of the open libraries somewhere around the palace grounds, endulging every word from the tomes of his vast collection. He knew he had taken a misstep in keeping his feelings platonic when he found himself following your silhouette as you walked past him (usually with a book in your hands) and when he realized just how much he liked the sound of your soft-spoken voice. You were never one to engage in any sort of drama or foolish arguments, but you did have a voice when you felt it neccesary to speak up, which was always carefully said with avid wisdom riddled within your words. You bore an elegance in your being that he cannot put out of his mind - not that he would ever want to.

arwen

Your courage. Arwen had grown up surrounded by the voices of great councils and the many virtues of her elven people, but there was one thing she felt was lacking when it came to acting on the behalf of others - something that she found in you. You were a courageous being with the most selfless heart she had ever met. You were always willing and ready to jump to the aid of others, no matter their inferiority, which was not always true of her own people who sometimes thought it better to let the natural course of the world take its place. 

legolas

Your combat skills. To say that Legolas was impressed with your combat skills that equaled his own was an understatement, although he had no problem with being very hesitant about offering any compliments at first. In fact, he found himself intimidated by your grace and precision in the adrenaline of a battle, which was a feeling he was very unaccustomed to experiencing. Soon enough, after he learned to swallow his shock (and pride), he found that the two of you made a fantastic team - perhaps in more ways than one.

galadriel

Your good-natured spirit. Galadriel was not one to be easily caught off guard by what she heard in the minds of mortal men, but she most certainly was when she searched the contents your heart upon meeting you. In the humming chaos of your human mind, she saw your true purity glimmering at the center of your being like a beacon of hope. You sought no ill will toward anyone around you, nor could she discern any lust for power or riches. She found your sorrow and your compassion, mingled together like the roots of a great mountain - you truly desired happiness and contentment for those around you. She thought it both peculiar and incredibly fascinating, that a human could be so selfless and readily offer their companionship and love. 

haldir

Your communion with nature. It was common knowledge that the elves of Middle-Earth cherished starlight and nature above all else, save their own communities and ancestral homes. However, there were some that were far more connected to the earth and its wonders than others and were far freer in their spirit when it came to such things - you were one such person. When Haldir had discovered this about you, he couldn’t deny the great admiration he felt growing within him. There was never a moment when you were not speaking, singing, or giving back in some way to the world around you. You were truly in love with your world and your people’s way of life and Haldir respected you greatly for it. 

gimli

Your hair. Although it was true that dwarves were fond of facial hair on the features of their own women, Gimli held no prejudice against you for not looking a certain way. He found himself rather enamored by your natural beauty, although it was different from his own people. Specifically, the red-haired dwarf was drawn to your hair and the different texture and hue that it held from his own. Where his was scraggly and coarse (because it hardly saw a brush or decent scrub), yours was well-maintained and shimmered in the sunlight. It might have seemed somewhat shallow of him to fall in love over your looks, but he felt no less attracted to you after he really got to know you. In fact, he liked you even more.

frodo baggins

Your companionship. You were always there for Frodo Baggins, no matter what situation had risen out of the blue. There were only a few people who he felt truly understood what he had gone through and you were one of them. All throughout his life, you had been a true friend and had never given him a reason to distrust you. You were someone he could depend upon and somene he grew to feel very strongly for over time. Frodo was sure about his feelings for you when he realized that should you ever be gone from his side, his life would be rather grim without having your light spirit there to illuminate it. He wanted to ensure that would never happen.

samwise gamgee

Your dancing. Samwise Gamgee had been irreversibly smitten with you since the first time he caught you dancing to a fine tune that was being played in the market square. Since that moment, his eyes always sought you out wherever you happened to be. There was never a moment when you weren’t tapping your toes or humming along to whatever melody happened to be be playing around you - for there was always music to be heard somehwere in the Shire - and there was always a frushed twirl to your skirts whenever you moved about a room. Your zest for life, just like the spices he loved mixing with his homegrown herbs, mesmerized the hobbit. 

merry brandybuck

Your free spirit. Meriadoc Brandybuck was sure he would have ended up a bachelor with the way he always seemed to attract mischief with his fun - that was, of course, until the young hobbit ran into you. You seemed to have the same hankering for adventures, no matter how silly or preposterous. In fact, you had quite a few hair-brained ideas of your own to contribute to the fun you both seemed to find together. Because of that fact, Merry felt he had found a kindred spirit with you much like he had with his best friend Pippin - except he wasn’t in love with Pippin - he was in love with you. How could he not be?

pippin took

Your acceptance. It was no easy feat to find yourself weak in the knees around Pippin Took, the foolish young hobbit who seemed to have invented the word klutz. He was an idiot most times and other times he was just plain reckless - but you never scrutinized him for that. In fact, you felt as though Pippin was a breath of fresh air, especially with how much he managed to make you laugh (usually at his own expense, but he never seemed to mind). Pippin appreciated the fact that you liked him as he was, mess and all. Even more so, he loved that you were always there to get him out of trouble, no matter the hour or the incident.

#lotr #lotr imagines #lotr preferences #lotr x reader #the lord of the rings imagine #the lord of the rings preferences #the lord of the rings imagines #lotr imagine #aragorn imagine #aragorn x reader #legolas imagine #legolas x reader #boromir imagine #boromir x reader #faramir imagine #faramir x reader #elrond imagine #elrond x reader #eowyn x reader #eowyn imagine #eomer x reader #eomer imagine #haldir imagine #haldir x reader #gimli imagine #gimli x reader #galadriel imagine #galadriel x reader #frodo x reader #frodo imagine

[trashforhockeyguys]

Don't Hold Me -15- Carter Hart

A/N: Hi things are wild now. Are things, talks about sex. Like...a lot in the first part of this chapter. And um the very end of this chapter could be triggering? No harm comes to anyone, but it’s the start of it all. So please be aware of that moving forward. Other than that, all previous parts are linked in my master list and I hope you enjoy.

Your whole body was warm. Carter was still next to you, looking at you with something more than just love. There was love, so much love. The two of you said it time and time again in the previous hours. His fingers danced lazily across the bare skin of your shoulders and back. You felt nothing but content in his arms, in his bed. It was like everything was just as it was meant to be. You were right where you were always supposed to land.

“This is nice,” You whispered, feeling like any sound would ruin the perfect morning. 

Warm light was coming in from the windows, the sun still working its way up the morning sky. Though the two of you had been awake for hours, you still felt like the world was waiting for one of you to make the first move. Almost as if everything outside was frozen, just waiting. 

“Yeah, it really is,” He replied, voice soft and deep. 

“A girl could really get used to this,” You smiled and shifted closer to him, wincing a bit as your muscles protested the movement. 

Carter seemed to take notice, worry flooding his face, “Are you okay? Did I hurt you?”

You smiled softly, oddly comforted by his worry. But Carter was arguably the gentlest person you knew, he’d rather hurt himself than hurt you. You ran your fingers through his messy hair. Your heart seemed to ache at the thought that he believed that he hurt you. 

“You didn’t hurt me,” You said softly, “Far from it actually. Trust me.”

“Y/N-”

“Carter, that was arguably the best sex I’ve had. I’m more than fine.”

You couldn’t help but laugh at the shock that took over his face. You knew that was the last thing he expected you to say. You were always so quiet and shy, he didn’t expect you to be so bold. You leaned over to kiss him. You hadn’t imagined at the start of the school year that you’d be here, but you couldn’t say that you were mad about it, not in the slightest. 

“I don’t think you’ve ever been that direct before,” He marveled, still not entirely sure he heard you right. 

“You should’ve known me before, I was nothing if not blunt,” You laughed, “Got me into a lot of trouble.”

You tried not to think about exactly what kind of trouble. Exactly why you weren’t that fearless girl anymore. Or who made sure you weren’t that girl. You tried not to think about the fact that he was still in the city. He promised he would be back, and one thing about him was that he never broke his word. No matter how vile it was. 

“So,” Carter said, breaking the silence and pulling you away from your thoughts, “Best sex?”

Your face burned with a blush as you attempted to hide your face in his chest. He laughed, wrapping his arms back around you. You felt like this was normal, like this was how life was meant to be. You were meant to wake up next to him, joke around with him, live this life with him. 

He held you tighter and kissed the top of your head. You couldn’t understand how this felt so normal. Like you’d been spending all of your mornings like this. Like nothing was ever any different. Now you really wished that nothing ever had to change. You’d be happy if you woke up like this every morning. 

“It was amazing,” He whispered to you, “You’re amazing.”

“Shut up,” You groaned, trying to cover the strange sense of embarrassment that you felt. 

“I love you,” His hand gently ran through your hair, soothing you. 

“I love you,” You didn’t even have to think about a reply. You loved him, so much. Why try and hide that now? He knew. And you were more than happy about that. 

In the warm light of the morning, you were both able to say it, without having to feel like you had to hide it. You could snuggle into that feeling and never let it go, you’d be more than happy to do that. You almost wanted to follow him anywhere because of it. You weren’t sure if you could make it an entire summer without seeing him. 

“I like hearing you say that,” You could hear his smile without even having to see it. 

You smiled. You could hear his heartbeat, steady and strong. You decided that it was one of the best sounds in the whole world. Everything about him was just addicting to you, his voice, his smile, his laugh, all of it. You didn’t want to change anything about him. You didn’t want to change anything about being with him.

Your phone started ringing from the nightstand next to you, no doubt Kora trying to figure out what time you were going to be back on campus. The two of you had to meet up with a couple other people from one of your classes for a group project, which you weren’t exactly looking forward to. 

“No, turn it off,” Carter protested, “You’re staying here all day.”

“Cart, I can’t,” Even you were disappointed about that fact, “I have a project I have to work on.”

“What if I just don’t let you get up?”

“Do you want me to fail my class?” You questioned, knowing he was joking with you. 

“If it meant I could keep you in my bed all day, then maybe.”

“Says the man who never went to college.”

He laughed, almost snorted in fact. You were too comfortable with him, far too comfortable. But you didn’t hate it, you savored it in fact. You only wished you found him sooner. You wished you would’ve allowed yourself to open up to him before now, things could’ve been like this all along. 

“I have to go.”

“No.”

“Carter, I’ll be back. It’s just a couple of hours,” You laughed, poking his bare chest.

“Ugh, fine. Leave me,” He groaned, dramatically joking. 

You couldn’t help but laugh as you leaned up to kiss him again. You felt heat spread through your body,and for a moment you considered just staying in bed with him. You could call Kora and claim you were sick, and she could make up a better reason as to why you didn’t show up. But you also knew that you couldn’t exactly afford a bad grade on this, especially given that the professor was a hardass. 

You sat up, wrapping the blanket around your naked body. Your legs shook as you stood, taking the blanket with you as you did. Behind you, Carter protested to you taking his blanket, grabbing for the sheets. You ran into the closet to grab some clothes. You could hear his laugh as the blanket drug behind you. 

You came out a few minutes later, dressed in a baggy sweatshirt and sweatpants that were Carter’s. He was scrolling through something on his phone, a soft smile tugged at his lips as he typed out something. 

You leaned against the doorframe and just watched him for a moment. A few moments of just pure peace. A mundane morning, simple, normal. Something you’d craved for years. 

“Travis told me to tell you to ‘get off your ass’ and go see him,” Carter nearly snorted, “Said you haven’t replied to his texts this morning.”

You smiled and walked back over to him, dropping the blanket back onto the bed, “We’ll, I was preoccupied.”

“Yeah don’t think he needs to know that.”

You laughed, knowing Travis would likely have a heartattck and then try to murder Carter. You leaned down to kiss him again, wishing you could just stay with him, because that’s truly all you wanted to do. 

“I’ll be back later. I promise.”

“Tell Kora I said hi,” He waited until you were almost out of sight before he added, “You look good in my clothes.”

“Shut up,” You laughed, grabbing your bag and the few books you brought over. 

The ride back to campus seemed shorter than you remembered. The whole way, you just kept replaying the previous hours you spent with Carter. The thought of every gentle touch, every kiss, every movement...you didn’t think there could be a moment more perfect than those you shared this morning.

Kora was buried in her course notes when you got into the dorm. She didn’t often look disheveled, not in a way that wasn’t intentional, but she looked like she’d been up all night. Her whole body was moving to the beat of the music that was playing in her headphones. 

When you walked bay, you pulled back one of her headphones, “Honey I’m home.”

“Hey,” She said not phased, “Oh hey, wait something fell out of your notebook yesterday, it’s on your desk.”

“Oh, probably one of my thousands of notes from Hartman’s lecture on Monday,” You waved it off and jumped on your bed, “I swear I have to take notes at the speed of light to keep up in that class.”

“Hold you Hartman was the Devil’s Spawn.”

You shrugged and grabbed a pillow to hug, feeling the need for something, “How was your night?”

“Spent a lot of it on the phone with Ethan while I worked on a paper,” She finished writing something and then turned around, “How was your night?”

“Carter played great, and we just kinda hung out.”

“Did you tell him you love him?”

You shrugged, “Something like that.” 

“Oh my god, you? Wow, okay. Do we need to talk about this? Are you okay?” She instantly shifted into a big sister mode, sitting down in front of you on your bed, “You’re okay right?”

“Yeah, I’m good,” You replied honestly, “I’m happy. Kora...I’m really really happy.”

She smiled, like a weight was lifted off of her shoulders, “Thank God. I really like Carter.”

There was something about finally saying that you were happy, finally at peace that made your heart kind of soar. You were happy with him. Happier than you thought you could be. You didn’t understand how you’d gone from trying to keep him as far away from you as possible to this in a couple of months.

“We need to go,” She said, rounding her up her bags, “We’re going to be late and we all need that A.”

Later on that week, you were happily sitting on the couch at Travis’s place with Nolan while Travis dug around in the fridge for a drink. None of you were really paying attention to the movie playing on the TV. Instead, you were all just enjoying the company. 

“Hey! Don’t touch my food!” You swatted at Nolan’s hand. 

“You said I could have some!”

“That is not what I said and you know it!”

“No, I’m pretty sure you said you would share,” Travis chimed in, grabbing a chip from you.

“Damnit you two, let me eat!”

They both laughed and settled back into their seats. You felt bad for not spending more time with them. There was a time when Travis and Nolan were the only people you had in the city. So much had changed since the first time Travis called you after you moved here. Hell, so much had changed since the start of this season alone. None of you were the same people. You certainly weren’t the same. 

“Oh yeah, can I draw you guys for my final project? We have to do a portrait series, and a bunch of other things,” You told them, “It’s worth a shit ton of my grade.”

“Kid, you’ve been drawing me since the day I met you,” Travis laughed, “As long as you get an A, and draw my good side I don’t care.”

“Not a kid Trav, but thanks for that,” You laughed, “I won’t make you sit for it this time. Just wanted permission from you two.”

“Yeah, I don’t care,” Nolan replied, taking another bite out of his sandwich. 

“Cool,” You were getting ready to grab more food when Travis’s hand snuck over and grabbed more chips, “I swear to god Travis! Try that one more time and you lose that hand! See how easy it is to play hockey and fish then!”

“Easy man, She’s hangry.”

“Damn right I am, you two keep taking my food,” you couldn’t help but laugh at both men. 

After the three of you finished eating, Travis pulled out the controllers for the Xbox, stating that Nolan needed to get his ass beat in NHL by you. The two of them always seemed to find a way to remind you what it felt like to be a kid. They made things simpler, easier to work through. 

The following hours were spent screaming at one another and the TV during many games of NHL. How those two could play the real thing all the time and still want to play the game still surprised you. But you were happy because of it. It meant you got to spend more time with both of them. 

There was no need for questions, or anything like that. Instead, you just played the game and screamed at one another non stop. When you were with them, you felt like a teenager again. Like you were still back home, playing NHL in the basement with Ethan and Travis and a couple of the other guys on that team.

Travis’s apartment was home in ways you couldn’t really explain. But it was home. 

“So, Carter’s treating you right, isn’t he?” Travis asked when Nolan went to the bathroom, “Because I swear I’ll beat his ass raw if he isn’t.”

You laughed. Travis was uncomfortable, but he knew that since Ethan had home back home, it was his job to look after you. Even if that meant potentially threatening one of his own teammates. He loved Carter, but he loved you more. You were his sister. The sister he never had, and he would take care of you for as long as you’d let him.

“Carter is perfect, you don’t need to worry Travis.” You assured him. 

“Perfect? Hartsy? Okay.”

You laughed and bit your thumb, “Trust me, you don’t want details.” 

“Huh?” He looked away from the TV, the realization of what you said finally setting in, “Oh. OH. No! No thank you. You can keep that to yourself. I don’t need that image in my head. Remind me to shoot for the 5-hole and miss at practice tomorrow.”

You grabbed the pillow next to you and lobbed it at his head, both of you starting to laugh uncontrollably. You felt light, free. You missed feeling like this when you were with both of them. You weren’t worried about a thing as Travis handed you and Nolan a beer and went back for one of his own. You weren’t thinking about anything aside from trash talking both of them as they played against each other. You were free. Finally. 

The sun was starting to set when your phone went off with a text from Carter. You smiled almost automatically. Travis and Nolan both nudged you, making fun of your sudden shift. But secretly, they loved that Carter was able to make you this happy and this at ease. 

Travis hadn’t seen you like this since you were in your early teens, and Nolan only saw a glimpse or two when you were very very drunk. For Travis, it was like a weight was finally off his chest, he could breathe easier knowing you’d found a way to put yourself back together. And Nolan was happy to finally be getting to know the real you. 

“Seems I was right,” Travis laughed, “You did like Carter. Told you that you just needed to give him a chance.”

“Asshole. I have to go, he’s waiting outside. Apparently, he’s taking me out for dinner.”

“We have to give you back so soon?” Nolan whined. 

You smacked his arm and got up to grab your bag, “You two have a good practice tomorrow, and try not to murder him?”

Travis wrapped you into a right hug, “I could never. He makes you too happy. I don’t want to be responsible for taking that away.”

You ruffled Nolan’s hair as you walked back by, “See you two later. I’m reinstating our weekly lunches.”

“Finally!” Nolan yelled, “You pick better places than TK. He eats shit.”

“We’ll, I’ll pick somewhere good.”

Hours after dinner, you and Carter slowly made your way back to the apartment. Both of you were still laughing about a joke he made before you even left dinner. You felt as if you were in your own little world with him. It was just the two of you. 

You kissed in the elevator, not even caring if anyone saw. You had never really been like this before. You were carefully and calculated. Yet Carter made you want to be everything other than that. You wanted to be reckless and crazy with him.

“Woah, hey hey hey,” He pushed against your shoulders to stop you, and then tucked you behind him, “Stay here.”

You looked up, seeing exactly what he was. The door to the apartment was open. He never left it open. You knew that. He always locked it. It wasn’t meant to be open. He carefully took a few steps towards the door and nudged it open the rest of the way. The lights were all on, but the whole apartment was quiet. 

“Carter-”

“Shh,” He whispered, walking further inside. 

You followed closely behind him. You clutched onto his arm as you made your way into the kitchen. Glass was shattered all over on the floor, the flowers you brought here a few days ago were trampled and strewn across the living room. The whole apartment was ransacked. 

“We need to call the cops, and the building security,” Carter told you, “This is...I have to call.”

He rubbed his face and stepped away, fishing his phone out of his back pocket. You took a few slow steps towards the bedroom. Clothes were everywhere, pictures thrown. Your chest hurt. Tears burned your eyes as you saw a picture of Carter and you had been torn and the frame smashed. Your safe place was gone now. 

“They’ll be up here in a few more minutes,” Carter told you, walking into the bedroom, “And the Police are just behind.”

“Carter,” You turned around, tears running down your cheeks now. 

“It’s going to be okay,” He pulled you into a tight hug, kissing the top of your head, “We’ll fix this.”

Your gut twisted when you heard people entering the apartment. He pulled away and hurried to meet them. Every sense of safety disappeared when you noticed the piece of paper on your pillow. You didn’t have to look at it to know who it was from. To know who did this. 

You slowly made your way over to it, unfolding it. 

I TOLD YOU. YOU OWE ME. YOU CANT HIDE BEHIND YOUR PERFECT LIFE. ILL BURN IT TO THE GROUND LIKE YOU BURNED MINE. HAVE FUN BEING HIS WHORE. HE WONT WANT YOU WHEN IM DONE.

You felt like you couldn’t breathe. You quickly folded the note and shoved it into your pocket when you heard Carter and whoever was with him approaching the room. You tried not to think about the fact that he had been here. He found a way to destroy everything again and again. 

You could hear all of them talking, but words didn’t register to you. Not when a simple piece of paper felt like a million pounds in your pocket. You didn’t think that he would ever go this far. You didn’t think that, after everything, he would be capable of doing this. 

You jumped when Carter touched you. You weren’t sure how long you’d been standing there. Or how long people had been talking all around you. 

“I’m going to take you back to campus,” He said quietly, “I’m going to go stay with one of the guys.”

You wanted to protest, to say that you didn’t want to leave him. However, you couldn’t find any words. You could hardly move or breathe. Carter tried not to let the worry eat at him as he drove you back to your dorm. He tried to remind himself that this was harder for you than he could understand. You had so few places that you felt safe in, so few people that you felt safe with. And somehow, one of those places was ripped from you tonight. No one seemed to know how it was even possible for someone to get into the building or into the apartment. 

You were shaking in your seat, your hands cold as ice. He could see that you were fighting against something, but he didn’t know how to help. He didn’t know what he was meant to do. He could see you retreating further into yourself. He could see you slipping further and further away. He felt his own type of panic, he didn’t want to lose you. But he could feel it happening. 

“Do you want me to stay with you?” He asked, desperate for anything. He would sleep on the floor next to your bed if he had to. He just wanted you to know that you weren’t alone. 

You shook your head. You didn’t want him near you. Not if it meant he could be in danger. You didn’t want to hurt Carter, or be the reason that he life had to change. So if you had to, you would remove yourself from his life. You would shoulder that hurt, and everything that could go with your past. If to only save him. If only to keep him from seeing the same horrors that threatened to keep you up every night. 

“Kora is on her way out to meet us. So you don’t have to walk up alone,” He told you, trying to reach over for your hand. 

You flinched away, momentarily forgetting it was only Carter. You could see the hurt on his face. You hadn’t flinched away from him in months. You trusted him, or at least he thought you did. But that simple movement made him feel like it would all come crashing down. 

“Good night Carter,” You whispered when you saw Kora running out of the dorm.

“Y/N...I’m sorry. I don’t know what to do.”

You could hear the pain without even looking at Carter. You hated this. You hated that you didn’t know what else to do. You hated that even in Philadelphia, he was still finding a way to ruin your life. All because you were the one who dared to try to put a stop to him.

 You hated that Carter was now brought into this, and you didn’t know how to really save him. You had no idea what you were meant to do. Not when it was your fault. He had a career and something like this could surely ruin it. You knew the media would know about the breakin, and people would start asking questions. 

All you knew to do was push him away, and keep pushing until he would be safe. Keep pushing until he wasn’t a target anymore. Until Carter was out of the picture, and all that remained was you. 

“Good night,” You said again, voice feeling smaller as you closed the door. 

You could feel your heart cracking with every step away from him that you took. You were drawing a new line in the sand, and this one couldn’t be crossed. Not with Carter at stake. You loved him...and it was because you loved him that you needed him to stay as far away from you as possible. It was because you loved him that you had to leave him. You had to make sure that he would have peace in his life...not the war that was beginning. 

“Sweetie, are you okay?” Kora threw her arms around you, she was just as scared as you were. 

“No…”

“Okay, c’mon lets get you inside.”

She turned to wave at Carter. You wondered if he knew how hard this would be for you. You wondered if he knew that you were hurting just like he was. Kora kept an arm around you as the two of you made your way back into your dorm room. It felt so small compared to Carter’s apartment. Your bed, which was less than half the size of his, felt so cold. Even if your body took up most of the space. 

“Do you want to talk about it?”

“No...I just want to go to sleep.”

She sighed and turned out her lamp, “I’m here. Whenever you decide you’re ready. You aren’t alone in this.”

All you wanted to tell her was that you were. In order to minimize the damage, you had to be. You had to face all of this on your own. Just so that you could protect all of them. You wouldn’t let them become collateral in something you started years before you came here. You would face him on your own...because you had to. Because this time, it was your turn to protect them.

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