#and put stamps in it etc for weeks of lessons

[judasisgayriot]

Real legit photos of the covers of my school planners, mid-2000s. Historical fucking artefacts.

#my stuff #no-one gave a shit that I did this to my planners apparently. #like the planner was for the whole year and you basically carried it with you the whole year #and put stamps in it etc for weeks of lessons #they were just like it’s emo kids forget about it #to be fair my school did not enforce shit. we had a uniform that I flouted CONSTANTLY in the name of being an emo kid #anni rambles #emo #god look at some of the stickers on these. i was in the fucking trenches

[1whimsicalgal]

September/October 1973 Ah, Youth, The Life Of an O’riginal Chainsaw Gal

A deep spring cleaning brought these little gems above to the surface.

In the days following filming Chainsaw ’74, after we’d wrapped, we were all finding our path, looking for ways to make money. I wasn’t in the brutal chainsaw dinner scenes (t’anks gods!!!). I was done and immediately looking for work, any work. Prior to filming I’d been working at Mrs. Robinson’s Restaurant at the corner of Riverside Drive and Congress Avenue in downtown Austin, for two years, paying for classes at St. Edward’s University, and doing well. Simultaneously, I’d been getting leads in all the plays at St Ed’s Mary Moody Northern Theater. After filming “Headcheese’ (Chainsaw ’74’s working title) for two-weeks, with little in the can, we shut down for a week. Then, we got a call that they found some money, filming was resuming. We all signed new contracts, but this time for ‘deferred money’. They’d kindly held my job at Mrs. R’s for the two weeks, but when we extended filming for another month, they had to hire someone to replace me. Drat. No job, no money.

Out of the blue, Daniel Pearl did me a solid. Our Chainsaw '74 cinematographer, Daniel, offered to shoot a portfolio for me with Daniel as the photographer, and Dottie Pearl assisting me with make-up and wardrobe. Both were full of great ideas, completely supportive, and very talented. Back in the day, with no internet, iPhones, computers, etc., we literally snail-mailed our pictures to casting agents and directors. When I think of the time-consuming hours of addressing, stamping, and trips to the post office, I get exhausted. Now, of course, you can scan and press Send.

Think about it.

The Good News: Everything finally worked out. As happens in life, things always change. For the past few years, our Chainsaw franchise has grown exponentially. I am pleased to report we have all grown close, appearing with my remaining cast mates to celebrate our 50th anniversary this year, since our filming and its release in 1974, appearing at various horror cons with my remaining cast members, together with our film crew members, Daniel Pearl, DP, JMichael McClary, ADP, and Ted Nicholaou, Sound Recordist. Fans love it and we love them!

Thanks to Kim Henkel, his son Ian Henkel, and Chase Anderson, we've been enjoying a real reunion to celebrate a little film we gave our hearts and souls to in the sweltering heat of July and August 1973, that went on to put Texas horror films on the map, a trailblazer, and lauded across the planet as a cult-classic in the horror genre. No sour grapes here, just great lessons learned, and thanks to all those who appreciate our work. We thank you.

The top right picture is from a print ad for Suzuki. Daniel had scored a local Suzuki commercial print ad shoot as DP in September 1973. When the director said they needed a girl who rode a motorcycle, Daniel did me yet another solid, he suggested me.🚀

Fifty years later, I’m still grateful.

xoxo,

Pammie 🪝💋

Original B&W photos by Daniel Pearl DP/ASC

Follow Daniel on Instagram: @danielpearldp

Colorization by Eric Goode @ericgoode106

#texaschainsawmassacre #horror #leatherface #marilynburns #trailblazers #gunnarhansen #teri mcminn #texaschainsaw #art #danielpearldp #billvail #johndugan #edguinn #edneal #jmichaelmcclarey #tednicholaou #allendanziger #waynebell #tcm 1974

[arcanemoody]

It's 9pm.

I’m in Chicago.

I finished a Diet Pepsi and I’m about to go mix some gatorade in my Nuka Cola steel water bottle. 

I took a personal day from volunteering. Switched to my Paul Williams aviators, put on some blue lipstick and the NASA hoodie I got at the thrift store yesterday. Knitted. Did my Spanish lesson. Continued drafting and editing the final chapter of North Star. Bought a Dead Milkmen EP. Got my Hellfire Yarn Club order (Januart was Argyle’s month). Napped. Did NOT work on any training modules (though I’m still ticked off my PDR hasn’t been updated since I did my last one). Mostly I just tried to relax and turn my mind off, tried to be non-teacher, non-researcher me for a day. I think I mostly succeeded. 

It’s World Cancer Day, apparently. Considering most of my family has died from some type of cancer, I’m not impressed with my TV’s reminding me of the fact through targeted advertising. 

Rocket’s job is causing her a lot of stress. She got a no on her last interview which seemed like a lock, so that was disappointing and has compounded some of the stress. 

My job has been okay but we just wrapped a transition week where a group of infants moved on into the toddler classroom and a group of our toddlers moved on into a two-year-old class. Lots of emotions, lots of adjusting and it impacts the adults as much as the kids. 

Also, pretty sure the owner of the center is in a cult -- she keeps shilling this MLM public speaker (his book, his app, his podcast, etc). Like. Easily ignored I guess, but it’s not fun to see that shit pop up in my inbox. 

Moderate fatigue -- my sleep cycle has been really fucked since I got this job in October. No sound sensitivity. No overheating or feelings of constriction (but I also don’t have a clean bralette or binder to wear). Some random itches. Some nail chewing and picking. Dysphoria is the same as most days. 

Things I feel positive about: my hair (that commercial coloring turned out GORGEOUS). My mini purple backpack I got to easily carry some crafts/ink stamp stuff with me. The “vampire blood” hand sanitizer that arrived in the mail this morning. Watched the first three episodes of Poker Face with Rocket. The temperatures have been warming up here in Chicago (and it looks like they’re going to stay that way for at least the next week). 

#R's depression journal

[shree18]

8 Types of Co-curricular Activities In School You must Choose

The various types of co-curricular activities in school are chosen to help students develop their overall personalities. The right extracurricular activities at CBSE Schools in north Bangalore can help your child's skills and keep him engaged.

Co-curricular activities allow students to focus better in class and teach them valuable life lessons. Many types of research have demonstrated the value of extracurricular activities at school.

1. Co-curricular Academic Activities

Book groups

Editor of the school magazine

Recitation of poetry

Story-writing \sDebates

Putting on exhibitions

Making charts

2. Leisure-Related Co-curricular Activities

Model making

Coin collection

Stamp collection

Train enthusiast

Museum

Monument excursion

Gardening

 3. Social development Related Co-curricular Activities

The CBSE Schools in north Bangalore are encouraging students to go for NGO programs and NSS etc

Scouting and guiding

School council activities

 4. Picnics and excursions Related Co-curricular Activities

Hiking

Special visits

Trekking

Visiting places of historical and geographical importance

 5. Physical-Related Co-curricular Activities

Outdoor and indoor games

Mass drill

Mass P.T

N.C.C

6. Cultural Development Related Co-curricular Activities

The CBSE Schools in north Bangalore are sending students to competition in co-curricular activities 

Dance

Music

Folk dance

Folk songs

Fancy-dress competitions

 7. Civic Values Related Co-curricular Activities

Organizing camps, such as first aid camp, and cleanliness week.

A celebration of the special day

 8. Arts and Craft Related Co-curricular Activities

The CBSE Schools in north Bangalore are encouraging the students to attend all the activities held in the school

Album making

Doll making

Cooking

Photography

Flower decoration

Clay modeling

Collage making

Basket making

Knitting

Conclusion 

Children should participate in at least two co-curricular activities to fully utilize their energy and explore their talents. You should create a balanced program of co-curricular activities that will engage a child's mind and body. I would highly recommend soundarya central school is the best CBSE Schools in north Bangalore 

[bubblyernie]

FINALLY finished my wizard school concepts. You can find it at location 23 on my map (linked here). Uniforms are based off how I drew them in previous drawings, plus a few more. I’ll explain under the cut!

art tag // commission info // patreon

So on the map, I knew I wanted to include several schools to represent the city’s kinda main exploits, which is international relations and textiles. The main three are the Performers’ collegiate, Seafaring Academy and the Westcaster’s Academy of the Arcane Arts, the latter being part of the Hovering Points, which is kinda the gated, more high-end neighbourhood, like a city within a city. It’s also located near the Kingsgate militia post on the west side of the city.

For the school’s itself, the city is bordered on the west by the Westcaster Woods, named after one of the more powerful families of their time. They’re the ones who established the school, thus they get to put their name everywhere. Direct descendants are offered a free tuition. The school colours are red, blue and silver, the building is two (very very tall) stories high.

For the curriculum, standard fantasy school classes, though this academy focuses on Illusion, Conjuration, and Enchantment. An evocation based school league was added on later, kinda like a varsity thing for those more into the field than the pen and paper. Once students turn 17, the next 7 years of their schooling has occasional adventuring-based placement programs, including stuff like archeology excavations, seafaring, government work, or just taking an apprenticeship with the local shops/tradespeople (the yearly favourite is Bon’s Arcane Smithhouse, because you get to keep some things you make like swords or whatever). The earliest enrolment is at age 7, graduation usually ranges from 20-24, depending on career paths. Dorms are provided, but you get to take several weeks off a year to go home if you choose to.

For the location, it’s generally pretty well placed, just on the edge of the residential area. Past the gardens at the front of the school are the local shops, including the Monteguarres Forum (map shown above), a campus shop with standard stationary (parchment, inks, quills, stamps etc.) as well as accessories like scarves and minor magical enchanted items. A hard right from the school, past the embassy, there is a tailors’ where you get uniforms. Behind the embassy, there is a library. The city archive isn’t attached to the library, it’s in the city centre near town hall, but this is mostly for people who need to do research/foreign visitors. 

For the students themselves, they are free to enrol at any age between 7-24, but you have to meet certain requirements (family relations, deposits, mostly monetary requirements), though if there is a resident diplomatic family staying a certain amount of time, since the Hovering Points is the main diplomatic neighbourhood, they usually get first offer. Uniforms are shown with school colours, red, blue and silver. To those less interested in the arcane “arts”, there’s also a special adventuring program, with an evocation-based focus. There isn’t a student government, but there are prefects for each class. Honoured alumni get portraits painted and are shown in the library or around the school

For the amenities, again, dorms are provided (map shown above) but must be well kept, with either two bunks (one bunk bed) or four bunks (two bunk beds) for each. There is a courtyard for a communal space. Uniforms are covered in the initial fees and usually there are meal plans provided by the local shops. While there is a library open to the local area, there is a much smaller, purely academic based library located in the school, which provides mostly study notes and communal textbooks. The school opens up to an open underground cellar, accessible by the courtyard and arena, where tournaments, special lessons, general assemblies and parts of storage are held. 

Specific alumni from my ocs, Thal and Dharton (part of the same graduating class, and dormmates) and Arbiter. Viconei did attend shortly, but left to do schooling with the Kingsgate Militia instead. Bon is also part of the alumni, part of the league, and owns their own smithhouse where some students now take their mandatory co-op.  

If I think of anything else, I’ll have to add it in later lmao

#sunshan draws #homebrew #fantasy #wizards #dungeons and dragons #dnd #art #map #concept art #westcaster's academy of the arcane arts #oc #ocs #z'thalylin #traditional art #ink #costumes #background design #Illustration #magic

[meichenxi]

HSK online: week 2, lesson 2

Behold! I come bearing gifts of vocabulary, in context! Accept the failings of the third tone marks, ye of little faith

论文 - lùnwén - dissertation, 他的论文在杂志上发表了

观点 - guāndiân - point of view, standpoint - 这俩人因为观点不同争论半天

广泛 - guângfàn - widespread - 他这种言行收到了广泛的批评

深刻 - shēnkè - profound, deep -这部电影要表达的内容很深刻；深刻的教训

行动 - xíngdòng - action, to take action 只有想法没有行动，那就是空想；既然有了目标，就快行动起来吧

形成 - xíngchéng - to form, take shape 他说的和他做的形成鲜明的对比

矛盾 - máodùn - conflicting views, contradiction 到底要不要告诉他，我心里很矛盾

收获 - shōu huò - harvest, to reap/gain 在这次旅行中我有很多收获

虚心 - xūxīn - modest 他总是虚心地向别人请教；他觉得他还有很多不足

寻找 - xúnzhâo - to search for 他总是在不断寻找到案

摇 - yáo - to rock, shake (i.e. your head) 失望地摇了摇头

摆 - bâi - to put on, place something on, arrange 桌子上没摆了那么多东西

相处 - xiāngchû - to be in contact, get along with 如何与别人相处

始终 - shîzhōng - from beginning to end 他始终都不肯原谅我

从事 - cóngshì - to undertake, do, engage in (formal word for a lot of stuff) 从事行业，业务，职业， 我之前从事的是对外汉语方面的课程

担任 - dānrèn - to assume the office of, take charge of (responsibilities, position etc) 他现在在公司人事部长一职； 出任职务；担任班长；主管

(Update: I’ve just finished Week 2 of the program I’m doing with HSK Online! https://www.hskonline.com I missed the class on Monday as I had a covid test (all healthy), but because of their teaching platform (why has no other company realised that when classes are online you have to actually invest in a good online teaching platform??) I was able to watch the classes afterwards. The questions are all time-stamped for your convenience if you want to check specific questions. I also finished the first Unit of 9 - after you finish them on the app, you have to go back over and do a test (this was listening, 45 mins) and then a review to make sure you’ve got everything. It was a bit rushed because I was busy at the weekend, but the content is well laid out so I blitzed it on Monday and Tuesday)

#learn chinese #study chinese #chinese langblr #chinese studyblr #chinese vocab #mandarin vocab #chinese vocab list #mandarin vocab list #vocabulary #tongueblr #studyblr #langblr

[beta-addict]

Adapted from Shiny Pink: Sissify Yourself BlogSpot

That’s Sasha and Kasumi. They ’re not your friends, it’s just that you work for Sasha’s father, Mr Wang. Sasha is a spoilt rich girl because of her father, while Kasumi is more of a trailer park Asian tramp. Sasha is best friends with her though and together they party like animals all the time. doing drugs and fucking like whoever, whenever. You’ve never liked either of them, you have even talked to Mr Wang about the need of his daughter to stay away of Kasumi and everything. He ignores you, you’re just a worker bee in his company, nothing to do with his precious Daughter. Both girls know about you, though they have never raised an issue, for them it has always been as if you don’t exist. A month ago you saw them at a bar close to work. You were with your friends, they were partying as always. One of your friends said a racist joke about them. Everybody laughed. and then another joke was made, and then another. Kasumi and Sasha heard you and your friends and they argued back. In fact, they wreaked havoc. Your friends became even more offensive. started calling them names like Asian sluts, cheap whores etc and you were caught in the middle of it. Sasha asked you to do something about your friends. Everybody stopped for a second waiting for your answer on this. You thought about it, but you couldn’t disappoint your friends. so instead of an answer you just made an offensive impression of the way they talk in China. It was an unforgettable moment for your friends. Sasha and Kasumi said nothing else. they just left. humiliated. you remember your friends keep telling them nasty stuff as they were leaving… Two weeks later something terrible happened. It was Friday night and you were at the same bar. This time you were alone, waiting for a friend. That’s when you saw Sasha and Kasumi, right next to you. It was sudden, you just smiled politely; they seemed pretty OK despite what had happened the last time. They even bought you a drink, said it was their way to make peace. You smiled again. That’s the last thing you remember from that day…

Two days later you woke up in a bed. You had no idea where. They heard you screaming so they came in. You were up looking at yourself in a mirror. There was no body hair on you whatsoever. but that wasn’t everything. Most parts of your body were covered in tattoo, and not just any tattoos. You had little fairies and stars and butterflies and rainbows painted right above your cock! You had pink fairy wings inked on your back and a tribal tramp stamp right above your ass, but that wasn’t the worst part either! You had weird symbols inked all over you; Asian symbols. You had 2 anime girls on your feet and all kinds of Chinese letters on the rest of your body. If anyone saw you now, they would say you’re some kind of a fucked up gay boi with a fetish for anything Asian or something, you even had a tiny Chinese flag on your heart! They both giggled so much at you. They started explaining the meaning of those letters. You found out you had “Sasha” typed on the one arm and “Kasumi” on the other. you had “ASIAN PRINCESS” on your waist and “ASIAN POWER” on your ribcage. Finally, you had “GAY” on the left butt cheek and “PRIDE” on the other. you even found out you now had a belly button ring with some Asian symbol charms. You wanted to kill those girls, you wanted this madness to end. You wanted it to be a fucked up dream and nothing more. but unfortunately it wasn’t. You were there, handcuffed by some Asian whores, tattooed like some sick gay slut. Sasha was smiling, asking if you had finished admiring their work.  Then she told you to sit down and shut up and listen how it’s gonna be from now on… “You think I’m stupid? You think i don’t know about you? You think you could go on telling those fuckin shit about me forever? hah?? Well, i got news for ya! Listen…” “In order to keep your pathetic little life, you have to pay the price, which means doing what we say. Firstly you will keep the tattoos and the piercing, never trying to go anywhere to get them removed, and not only this but whenever me or Kasumi think of adding something we like on you, you will have to go get it put it all by yourself. So, you can say whatever the fuck you want about to anyone about your tats, but if i want to put "Asian Fuckdoll” in your face, you’re gonna go to a tattoo parlour and ask for it! Understood? Anyway, we decided not to be so harsh on you, for now, so at the moment all your tattoos can be covered by your clothes. We want you to keep your life after all. but if you ever do anything to upset us, your first butterfly will be inked on your neck! OK? Next,  as from this Monday, you will officially be our friend. which means no more shit about us anymore. OK? i don’t care what the fuck you’re gonna say to your filthy friends about your change, but YOU will never show any kind of disrespect to us or any of our friends. OK? And if a fight or some shit emerges, you’ll know which side to pick now. right? And i don’t care if it’s between us or your fuckin family we’re talkin about!! You’ll be OUR BITCH!! Thirdly, you will go out with us once per week and watch out, fucker. Since most times it’s just gonna be us girls maybe a few of our bff’s, you will NEVER hit on any of us! So, don’t think even for a sec about fucking us or our friends or anything! OK? You ’ll be with us just because it’s “fun”!  And if any of us ever tries to hit on you, you will reject her immediately. in fact, you’ll have to make sure that none of us hits on you, because for every friend of ours that hits on you, we will add a gay thing to you to do. so, keep your distance and be sure that you be a good friend, because you don’t want to strut around like Beyonce! OK? Also, again as from Monday you’ll have an official girlfriend. Kasumi!! OK? i’m sure your friends wouldn’t see it coming, but you’ll make up some shit about her to say to them. And she’s not gonna be just any girlfriend. You’ll act like crazy about her. You’ll talk about her as if she’s the woman of your dreams. You’ll never get to touch her though, so you’ll have to be careful with the lies that you’ll say about my friend. she has to come up as the one who pulls the strings. OK? Two more things. First, for you to constantly remember your place and never even think about yourself as being better than us, once per week you will have to suck a guy and let him cum wherever he wants on you. and don’t worry, since you’re new to this and you don’t know all the gay spots and how to find a man, we will guide you on this. We don’t care if you want it to be quick or anything. It can be however you want. what matters here is that you have a different man cum on your face, every week. If everything goes OK, in a year from now you’ll have tasted 52 different guys, in 2 years 104, in 3 years 156, and then we’ll be in a place to talk about us being sluts or not. As for privacy, again it’s up to you. We can be nice and keep it a secret and Kasumi can always be your alibi. As i told you. we don’t want you to ruin your life. you just have to pay. After all, i’m sure that after the first few guys, you ’re gonna be OK with it. It’s gonna be more like a weekly thing that has to be done, you know? Kinda like paying a bill or something. no one has to know anything. I’m sure in time you’ll see how much it’s NOT a big deal! and then you’ll know how wrong you were about us… And secondly, as from this Monday, you will start learning Chinese… i know it’s hard, baby, but think of the bright side: you can talk more with us cuties! You know, Kasumi said, like, she wanted to see your friends’ faces as she goes to your office and you start talking to each other in her native language. I know it’s bad, honey, but as from this Monday and i guess for the rest of your life, you’re gonna start taking Chinese lessons. I’m sure it’s gonna help you get more in touch with our beautiful culture anyway and I’m telling you: you’re gonna love it! We’ll even talk chinese when we go out so that we help you! Don’t worry, we’ll tell everybody your great grandmother was Asian and you want to keep your roots alive! OK?

She gave you one more week to decide.  Now you have to choose… will you be keeping your social status intact  and lose any kind of self respect and dignity from your old friends, becoming a puppet in the hands of a bunch of Asian sluts? Or do you rebel and fight for your independence and pride against a couple of psycho girls who will try to ruin you? Do you take the deal?

[purplesurveys]

952

I can see the sunshine in your eyes Survey by xflirtykaosx

What does your Town's name begin with? A.

What number how do you live at? It’s a number between 1-1000.

Are you a seafood fan? Yes. Runs in my veins. If humans are on average 60% water, I’m pretty sure the rest of my 40% is just seafood.

Do you prefer dark, brown or white chocolate? White chocolate doesn’t count as chocolate but it’s still my favorite kind. I find that milk chocolate can sometimes be too irritatingly sweet, and I don’t usually enjoy bitter foods so I don’t do well with dark chocolate either.

Give me a random word in another language. Tell me what it means. I’m pretty sure I’ve filled this out before because I remember answering this exact question...anyway, more Filipino lessons! My laptop is currently sitting on top of a kwaderno, which just means notebook.

Can you cook Thai food? I just can’t cook. But Thai cuisine is something I really want to learn to master.

Do you get easter eggs at easter? Some years. I have relatives who will sometimes hold Easter egg hunt parties, and the older kids’ crew like some of my cousins and I are still allowed to join so that we don’t miss out on the fun, heh.

How long does it roughly take you to do the weekly or bi weekly shopping? My parents usually take an hour. Though back when we were still under an enhanced lockdown and stores kept a strict control of how many people were allowed inside, my dad used to take six hours :( He’d leave around 7 AM to start lining up, but there were always people who arrived way earlier so he usually had to queue for a few hours.

Who taught you the most valuable lesson in life and what was that lesson? I’ve touched on this before but the first death I was directly affected by, my grandfather’s, taught me the world will never slow down for your problems and in the end you’ll have to learn how to simply suck certain things up. I remember having to write an excuse letter to my teacher saying I’ll have to be absent for one day to attend to my grandpa’s wake, and all she did was stamp on it and say my absence would be excused. Didn’t even check up on me. It was in the middle of an exam week and a week before the UPCAT. It was such a jarring experience and toughened me the fuck up overnight.

Which city would you like to visit- Rome, Tunis, London, Madrid or Paris? Tunis just because I feel like it would have the least amount of tourists, and I’m also all about going to less-familiar places. Madrid would be nice too.

Would you rather visit Australia, Germany, Croatia or Jamaica? Croatia.

Have you got perfect vision? Far from. My vision is pretty much useless without my glasses, and I like to tell people that without them I can only make out colors haha. Which is obviously kind of an exaggeration but I’m also not 100% lying when I say it, so. 

What colour bedspread or blanket is on your bed now? It’s a multi-colored geometric design so there’s magenta, pink, lime green, orange, gray, and white, among a few other colors.

What colour is the door to your house? Brown.

Would you prefer a pet rat, mouse, snake, lizard or spider? I’d rather these animals are out in the wild, but if it was a situation where I had to save one I’d pick the snake.

What song(s) do you put on repeat often? I don’t tend to listen to music when I’m sad/depressed so I haven’t any songs on for quite a while now. The last one I discovered and really got into is a song called Lose, by Niki.

How many letters long is your last name? Six.

Can you play the violin? If not, would you like to? I can’t, but yeah it’s one of the instruments I’ve always wanted to learn to.

Can you keep a pokerface and not show your emotions easily? Passively, if that makes sense? I have no problem pretending to be happy or looking unbothered like, over dinner or if I’m with friends. But if someone had suddenly told me something upsetting or harsh to my face, I usually immediately show my hurt or anger or disappointment or displeasure or whatever negative emotion I would instantly feel in that moment. My eyebrows and eyes always give everything away.

Are you a good liar (tell the truth this time)? Maybe not around the people who know me best. I wear my heart on my sleeve with the people I’m most comfortable with.

Are you wearing shoes, just socks or nothing on your feet? Nothing. I might wear socks tonight, we’ll see.

What word or phrase is disgusting in your opinion and you hate hearing it? I hate having to hear or use the word ‘gunk.’ I think of dirty fingernails every time and it just makes me wince.

Do you like the smell of a barbecue or bonfire? It’s alright, but I don’t live for it. It certainly gives a comforting sensation though.

Do you prefer to write etc, ecetera or something else? Etc, and it highkey makes my blood boil whenever I read ect hahaha.

Do you think rainbows are pretty or overrated? I think rainbow prints and/or designs are overrated themselves, but seeing real-life rainbows tend to make me feel happy.

Are your lips chapped? Nope.

Have you ever fallen into a hole or crevice whilst hiking? I don’t think so. I’d be able to remember it if I have.

Ever been quadbiking? Was it any good? Nah but close, I guess? My family once did this thing where we rode on the trunk of a 4x4 while a professional drove through sand dunes in Ilocos. It was a lot of fun but I couldn’t entirely enjoy my time knowing I was in the land of the Marcoses lol

What is different about you than others you hang out with? I have a lot of unpopular opinions when it comes to Filipino food hah, like I hate well-loved dishes like sinigang and bulalo.

Are you more skeptical or gullible? I’m honestly really just both, depending on the context. Like how I’m skeptical when it comes to religion, ghosts, the afterlife, etc, but I’m equally gullible in a way that I’m terrible at recognizing sarcasm sometimes.

How often do you drink sodas or fizzy drinks? Once a year and it’s always simply to try it out and see if I’ve changed my opinion about it. I have not been converted in the last 22 years.

How many cups of tea or coffee do you have a day? Just one cup of coffee. I’m scared to have multiple ones haha, I’m scared of the palpitations or long-term effects it might give me.

Has anyone ever called you apathetic or unemotional? No. I’m the most un-unemotional person I know.

Favourite crisp/chip flavour? Just good ol’ plain. Nothing beats a simple potato flavor with a bit of salt.

Do you put salt and vinegar on your fries? Salt yeah, vinegar no.

What accent is the sexiest? Whatever accent Florence Pugh and Carey Mulligan have; they sound lovely.

Do you currently live in the same country you were born in? Yep.

What's your current mood? A little sad but I’m honestly glad my workplace gave me SO MUCH work to do over the weekend because it can keep my busy tonight. 

Do you struggle to articulate your thoughts and feelings? Not really. I like describing my emotions and sharing my thought processes.

A romantic meal, a trip to a theme park or go to a concert? Probs the romantic meal. I like the atmosphere and it’s always nice to have food involved hehe

Prefer being in control in a team enviroment, helping out or taking orders? I like being a mix of all these. I never want to be 100% a leader giving orders or 100% a subordinate waiting for tasks.

Do you like carrot cake? Not really.

Don't you hate it when people say 'I don't mean to be rude but...'? Especially considering 98% of the time they ARE trying to be rude? It will always depend on how they say what follows. Like how it will always be irritating to hear “I don’t mean to be rude but your work sucks,” but I can stomach it better and even be motivated to do better if it was said as “I don’t mean to be rude but there are areas you can tweak more to make the work better.”

Would you say yes from a drink of a friend of a friend? Only if I already know them well enough. Otherwise, no.

How good is your memory? Pretty sharp, a little too sharp for my liking. I’m able to store too many memories, some of them I don’t even want to remember anymore.

On a scale of 1-10 how was this survey? Did you enjoy it? 10! It was a delight to answer.

#survey #surveys

[hobohumanitarian6]

This is a long post so please be warned!!! I need to get some things off my chest....

⚠️ TRIGGER WARNING POSSIBLE⚠️

Feedback to this post is open-ended. You cannot offend me and will not be blocked.

⭐ So here's the thing: one of my late grandmother's friends just posted that her 29 year old son died in his sleep with seemingly no explanation. This really shook me I guess. For one, I used to hang out with this kid during the summers a lot. My specific memories are very vague, but deep in my consciousness I know that I have called him friend in the past. For another, many things lately have been prompting me to ask the difficult questions ie

Why in the fuck am I here?

What's the meaning of it all?

When is my life going to get better?

How do I prepare myself for better things?

Am I blocking me or is something else blocking me?

What am I doing wrong that the universe doesn't think I'm ready for a new chapter?

Am I really with the right person?

What about the afterlife?

Am I going to be silenced or speak out?

What if I can't do some of things I want/dreamed of?

What is going to satisfy me if my future doesn't go as planned?

⭐ I've been doing quite a bit of soul searching through all of this, established the framework of the person I want to be and

BAM! 🧱 💥 🏃🏻‍♀️

Straight into a fucking. Brick. Wall.

⭐ I am in one of the worst continental states in the US (by even statistic) and before all of the shutdown and pandemic began, I had plans to be relocated with my new job, a place to call home & reunited with family by June 1st. Clearly that didn't happen....

⭐ I am spending $900 a month for a 250 ft² motel room just so I am not out on the streets.

Homelessness. Can we talk about that for a second? People getting arrested for being out past curfew because they don't have a place to go, put in jail because they're in the way, not tested or treated for the virus because they generally have no insurance, giving people loads of food stamps so the emergency assistance funding is broke-

600 dollars of groceries is a lot if you have a fridge, freezer, microwave, oven, toaster, etc not if you have to buy your food from overpriced convenience stores and gas stations and fresh food from grocery stores that 70% of the price is for the packaging it comes with!!

Soup kitchens closing because they don't want to risk contamination. Who's feeding those without a hot meal? Do they realize malnourishment is the quickest way to get sick with any pathogen!?

Shelters closed because of overpopulation. Domestic violence homes turning battered women and children away because there's too scarce of resources and funding. Yet people care about big corporations going bankrupt? Please tell me what the difference is between a goddamn human fucking life and a couple lawsuits because you didn't know how to prepare for an ever-changing economy.

Thank the universe i am sheltered with minimal resources to take care of myself and I have a steady job due to an enormous company's "chance on a down-in-the-dumps contractor." This job I have held steadily for a year despite chronic health issues has been the best thing to happen to me by far in a long time. I am definitely not by any means complaining about my job or that I even have life necessities right now. Several million don't have that.

⭐ The problem with this state is there are no resources for a person who's struggling to make an honest living. I lost my apartment two years ago because I had to take a medical leave of absence at my job then, got behind on rent and was evicted without a chance to catch up. The power was cut three nights before I had to leave, and I owe a deposit on the electric company to get any type of service back in my name. The realty company who owns the apartment complex will not allow a payment plan without a fraction of the principle paid down, so therefore I cannot apply for private or realty housing and I have been on the waiting list for federal housing assistance for 3 years without a single word. I also had my bank card stolen with my ID when I was trying to catch a bus to work a few weeks after that so whoever it was made small purchases that my bank applied interest and late charges to so that is also standing in debt. Thank universe my current employer allows direct deposit to a savings account at a bad credit institution or I'd be royally fucked.

⭐ Before I made the hard decision to doll out almost a G a month just for a room, I tried sleeping in my pickup. I even took the effort to pallet it for a platform bed & make benches to live in free campgrounds, cemeteries, truck stops, boonie dead ends, and behind abandoned buildings. I had a 12V converter that I connected to a rice cooker and made a tin can stove to grill small portions of meat on a single-egg mini skillet. I kept getting chased off by rangers, cops, annoying people trying to do crack and not get their lives better, and eventually violently detained for "suspicious activity" - I was thrown on the ground, put in handcuffs, patted down by a male officer with no female present, searched my vehicle without consent & written a citation: this was 2 am, I had a campsite reservation, I was clearly sleeping & my vehicle was current. The officers did not give me their name or numbers so I could not make a report.

⭐ I have chronic health issues - hip dysplasia & hyper mobility (not severe enough to be EDS), anemia, rexhia (NOT PRO ANYTHING), pre diabetes, H.S, BPD, PTSD, endometriosis & chronic migraines. I have filed time and time and time again for medical assistance but have always been denied. Every time I try to see a doctor, they claim I have this-or-that infection caused by this-or-that disorder, sent to an overpriced pharmacy with illness-irritating antibiotics that just keep me in an unending cycle of flares and barely-managable pain. Do not let anyone privileged or wealthy confuse you - you are not treated the same if you don't have coverage. Sorry to say but it is indeed a fact.

⭐ With this job I work 40-50 hours a week, eat as healthy as I can on a dime sized budget, and cover all my expenses. Yet I cannot move forward in this state on to better things. I want so badly to have a family, to go to college, etc but I cannot do this with living month to month someplace that isn't even my own.

⭐ The emotional affect this has had on me is tremendous. I am embarrassed of my situation, and never allow any guests in fear they'd judge me. I never take any photographs, which is heartbreaking because it has been one of my long-time hobbies. I am extremely guarded and I lie about small details to protect myself. I have severe trust issues and I always hold a dagger at my waist because I have to assume any minute you'll pull out a Glock.

⭐ Naturally I am an empath and this has brought me more compassion and understanding than I ever thought possible. The police brutality against people of color and racism in socio-economic programs truly breaks my heart because as a white female and all the struggles and discrimination I've endured, I can only begin to understand it's 1000x harder for people of color especially. I stand behind your protests 100%. I beseech you, go fight for what you deserve! I will be begging higher powers for your protection indefinitely!

⭐ I have gained a new perspective on non-profit organizations and volunteer work. Some are truly amazing and their stories move people to tears; others are truly wicked stealing from the poor, embezzling cash flow for their own vanities. Please please please research the charity you are interested in thoroughly before getting involved. Volunteer work will always be appreciated- and will teach you many invaluable lessons. If you help these organizations and need help yourself: respect yourself, hold yourself high, and ask for the assistance. They will generally be more inclined to help. If you are turned away, try not to be bitter. Administrators only do as they see fit.

⭐ That's another thing - bitterness. This has been the most vile and roughest character default I've ever had to battle with myself. When you've been through the shit and you can't see the sewer (sts) it's so easy to stay in the dumps. It's so easy to feel entitled because you've clawed your way to the top. It's easy to feel angry with everyone because it's you vs the system. It's so fucking easy to give up completely and stop trying and just lay down and die. It's easy to step in front of a two ton bus, oncoming freight train, taking the entire package of extra strength Excedrin not because you have a migraine, but just not to feel a thing, go completely numb for one single second. It's easy to go down to the head shop and get a nickel bag of weed to chill and get a 5$ pizza and forget you have responsibilities.

IT'S SO FUCKING TOUGH MAN

⭐ Growing up strictly religious, I tend to shy away from Christianity or other "preachy religion" now. I hate having Jesus shoved down my throat at a service before a hot meal on a Tuesday night and the "speaker" automatically assuming I need to stop smoking crack and going to jail and get my life back on track and God will bless me when I'm in the 46% who has never been to county and hold a job while trying to get back on my feet.

ADDICTION IS NOT POVERTY GUYS

I still support people who go to church and speak in tongues if that satisfies them. I still support people who are strictly vegetarian and make a pilgrimage to the mecca if that satisfies them. I still support people who have 7 two week long feasts a year for something that happened 4000 years ago if that satisfies them. I still support people who believe in baptisms for the dead and not drinking coffee if that satisfies them. I still support people who call Jesus the Nazarene and believe that Lucifer the Dark Lord will prevail if that satisfies them. I still support people who call down the power of the moon into their plant babies and give thanks to the triple goddess if that satisfies them. I support religion or practices of all kinds.

I believe I was meant to be tolerant and be good to others. That this life will give back what you put in. That there is a higher power that governs all and it is up to you to determine just what that is to you. Not to tell people what is wrong with their lives just based on your personal story.

⭐ During this pandemic, I have done a lot of soul searching. Journaling, listening to podcasts, listening to seminars on values I'd never know existed, trying to discover who I am. This journey has included empathy training, reiki, yoga, somatic movement, feldenkrais methods, and astral meditation. I just have a list of these questions I'd like answered or given suggestions to:

What do you believe is the meaning of life? Is there any philosophers, speakers, teachers, theologians, writers, musicians etc that can help answer this?

What is your definition of religion in it's rawest form?

Do you know of any resources I may not have thought of?

Is there any criticism you can give good or bad?

Am I focused on one thing and neglecting another?

Do you have any further opinions on the topics listed above?

Do you have a suggestion of the next right step?

Do you have ideas on how I can help with the aforementioned problems?

How do I stop feeling like I'm wasting my time?

How do I find contentment in everything should I die tomorrow?

What is your opinion of the afterlife?

How do you find happiness in the midst of bullshit?

What did a friend/relative/mentor tell you when you were going through an existential crisis?

Have you felt trapped too? Due to the covid or otherwise?

Any curse words, songs, books, movies, etc of use?

🌸🌸I sincerely appreciate any feedback 🌸🌸

#quote #long post #personality #asking the important questions #asking for myself #asking the real questions #asking for advice #homelessness #homestuck #restless #depression #high anxiety #ptsd #chronic migraine #endometriosis #bpd #bpd blog #bpd thoughts #bpd things #anemia #rexhia #rexie #not pro anything #poverty #venting #socio economic #spirituality #soul searching #soul deep #existential anxiety

[brooklynblerd]

So You Want To Be An Ally

Over the last 2 weeks, I have been fielding many white-guilt questions at work and having very interesting conversations and Zoom calls. Overall, they have been well received, but I am not sure if anything will happen once this is no longer a hot topic. I hope we keep up the momentum, but the media and Politicians and other power holders will try to silence us as quickly as possible. All of the companies realizing that #BlackLivesMatter will inevitably fade away as well. WE HAVE TO KEEP THE PRESSURE ON. So I made a list of talking points for the company that I work for, I hope they put it to use. I will begin sending this to anyone that reaches out to me to “talk” or “to see if I am ok”. While I appreciate the concern (if it’s genuine), I cannot continue being your only Black friend or the only Black person that you feel comfortable speaking to. 

I saw this on Twitter recently, White privilege doesn't mean that your life hasn't been hard, it just means that the color of your skin isn't one of the things that makes it harder. I think this pretty much sums up what white people need to understand, what those people calling themselves our allies need to understand. Having Black pride & saying Black Lives Matter should not offend anyone. It does not mean that we are anti white people.

Black people are not a monolith. While we have all experienced racism in some form or another, we do not share the exact same experiences with it. To try and get an overall view of the different types of racism, you need to speak to many different Black people. Stop treating us as a collective, we are all individuals.  Racism has permeated every single institution in this country. Education, Housing, Banking, Healthcare, Criminal Justice, Entertainment, etc. Racism is very much systemic, not always overt. There are also many different microaggressions that do not present as overt racism. Also, if we are going to have these discussions, please make sure that we feel safe, that we will be heard without reprimand or cynicism or disbelief. Our silence is the reason why this has gone on for so long. We want to be heard. We are no longer willing to stay invisible. Fear makes many of us stay silent, not willing to upset the status quo.

Revamp your hiring strategy/quota. People and organizations tend to conflate diversity and inclusivity. They are NOT the same. While there are many women, LGBTQIA members, Black and other People of Color, the Executives, Sales Management, and HR do not reflect this.

Conversations about race and other social justice issues are uncomfortable. Having these conversations without any Black and People of color present is pointless. Make sure you have Black people and other People of Color in any discussions you have regarding race relations and any other social justice issues. Empathy and sympathy is great, but it will not replace an actual experience.

Understand that the current state of the world has been a long time coming. George Floyd was the straw that broke the camel's back. The only difference is that everyone has a camera now and the police aren't doing themselves any favors by brutalizing everyone who is protesting police brutality.

Acknowledge your privilege. Acknowledge that the system is built to benefit you more than it does us and that it always has.

Saying "I'm not racist" isn't enough anymore. You have to be anti-racist. You have to stop the jokes, stereotypes, etc amongst your circle of friends and family members. This will be hard. But Black and Brown lives have to matter more than offending anyone that is unwilling to change.

Racism is not up to Black people and other People of Color to solve. This wasn't created or instituted by us and as we remain the "minority" in positions of power, we are unable to change it. We only have the ability to fight it, to rise up and demand change. To show that we will no longer take it. We will no longer be silent. We were all taught to be quiet and hold our feelings in to make sure that white people are comfortable. To make sure that we don’t appear threatening or angry. That is changing. Things will not go back to the way that they were. 

Books to read in your journey of becoming an ally:

How To Be An Antiracist - Ibram X. Kensi

White Fragility: Why It's So Hard for White People to Talk About Racism - Robin Diangelo

So You Want To Talk About Race - Ijeoma Oluo

Me and white Supremacy - Layla F. Saad

The New Jim Crow: Mass Incarceration In The Age of Colorblindness - Michelle Alexander

Stamped from the Beginning: The Definitive History of Racist Ideas in America - Ibram X. Kendi

Between the World and Me - Ta-Nehisi Coates 

Notes of A Native Son - James Baldwin 

Born A Crime - Trevor Noah

Eloquent Rage: A Black Feminist Discovers Her Superpower - Brittany Cooper

Reproductive Injustice: Racism, Pregnancy, and Premature Birth - Dana-Ain Davis

Racism without Racists: Colorblind Racism and the Persistence of Racial Inequality in the United States - Edwardo Bonilla-Silva

Towards the Other America: Anti-Racist Resources for White People Taking Action for Black Lives Matter - Chris Crass

Two Faced Racism: Whites in the Backstage and Frontstage - Leslie Picca and Joe Feagin

How To Be Less Stupid About Race: On Racism, White Supremacy and the Racial Divide - Crystal Fleming

The Ethnic Project: Transforming Racial Fiction into Ethnic Factions - Vilna Bashi Treitler

Race and Racisms: A Critical Approach - Tanya Golash Boza

Racist America: Roots, Current Realities, and Future Reparations - Joe Feagin

White Rage; the Unspoken Truth of Our Racial Divide - Carol Anderson

Black Americans - Alphonso Pinkney

Medical Apartheid: The Dark History of Medical Experimentation on Black Americans from Colonial Times to Present - Harriet Washington

The Hollywood Jim Crow: The Racial Politics of the Movie Industry- Maryann Erigha

Code of the Street - Elijah Anderson

The Wretched of the Earth - Frantz Fanon

The Mis-Education of the Negro - Carter Woodson

UNESCO General History of Africa, Vol.1 - Joseph Zerbo

UNESCO General History of Africa, Vol. 2 - G. Mokhtar

Black Wealth/White Wealth - Melvin Oliver and Thomas Shapiro

Why Are All the Black Kids Sitting Together in the Cafeteria? And Other Conversations About Race - Beverly Daniel Tatum

Uprooting Racism: How White People Can Work for Racial Justice - Paul Kivel

Witnessing Whiteness - Shelly Tochluk

Race Talk and the Conspiracy of Silence: Understanding and Facilitating Difficult Dialogues on Race - Derald Wing Sue

The Emperor Has No Clothes: Teaching about Race and Racism to People Who Don't Want to Know - Tema Jon Okun

Understanding White Privilege: Creating Pathways to Authentic Relationships Across Race - Frances Kendall

The Possessive Investment in Whiteness: How White People Profit from Identity Politics - George Lipsitz

Waking Up White, and Finding Myself in the Story of Race - Debby Irving

How I Shed My Skin: Unlearning the Racist Lessons of a Southern Childhood - Jim Grimsley

Everyday White People Confront Racial and Social Injustice: 15 Stories - editors = Eddie Moore, Marguerite W. Penick-Parks & Ali Michael

Understanding and Dismantling Racism: The Twenty-First Century Challenge to White America - Joseph Barndt

Beyond the Pale: White Women, Racism, and History - Vron Ware

Charleston Syllabus: Readings on Race, Racism, and Racial Violence - editors = Chad Williams, Kidada E. Williams & Keisha N. Blain

We Have Not Been Moved: Resisting Racism and Militarism in 21st Century America - editors = Elizabeth Betita Martinez, Matt Meyer & Mandy Carter. Forward by Cornel West. Afterword by Alice Walker & Sonia Sanchez

killing rage: Ending Racism - bell hooks

Acting White? Rethinking Race in Post-Racial America - Devon W. Carbado and Mitu Gulati

Towards Collective Liberation: Anti-Racist Organizing, Feminist Praxis, and Movement Building Strategy - Chris Crass

White Like Me: Reflections on Race form A Privileged Son - Tim Wise

White Trash: Race and Class in America - editors = Annalee Newitz & Matt Wray

Rise of the Warrior Cop: The Militarization of America's Police Forces - Radley Balko

Race Traitor - editors = Noel Ignatiev & John Garvey

Feeling White: Whiteness, Emotionality, and Education (Cultural Pluralism #2) - Cheryl E. Matias

Disrupting White Supremacy

Hillbilly Nationalists, Urban Race Rebels, and Black Power: Community Organizing in Radical Times - AmySonnie, James Tracy

For White Folks Who Teach in The Hood...and the Rest of Y'all Too: Reality Pedagogy and Urban Education (Race, Education, and Democracy) - Christopher Emdin

Benign Bigotry: The Psychology Subtle Prejudice - Kristin J. Anderson

Subversive Southern: Anne Braden and the Struggle for Racial Justice in the Cold War South (Civil Rights and the Struggle for Black Equality in the Twentieth Century) - Catherine Fosl

How Jews Became White Folks and What That Says About Race in America - Karen Brodkin

America's Original Sin: Racism, White Privilege, and the Bridge to a New America - Jim Wells

Why I'm No Longer Talking to White People About Race - Reni Eddo-Lodge

Living Into God's Dream: Dismantling Racism in America - editor = Catherine Meeks

Promise And A Way Of Live: White Antiracist Activism - Becky Thompson

What Does It Mean to Be White?: Developing White Racial Literacy (Counterpoints #398) - Robin Diangelo

[caithelps]

This is War by Emily Kinney RP Sentence Starters: Part 1 (feel free to change name(s), pronouns, etc as needed) 

This is War:

“I know, I know, I know”

“All the songs you write are about me but you changed the names so I can’t stake my claim”

“You’re so greedy”

“And I know, I know, I know that you think you’re a much better writer”

“And that might be true”

“But what I’ve got on you is I’m a fighter”

“This is war”

“My fingers are sore”

“So far from the top”

“But I refuse to stop”

“Got shakers in my eardrums”

“Bossing like a new gun”

“When it’s all done you won’t mind that I’ve won”

“This is a battle”

“You are the prize”

“Put down that piano”

“Let’s start our lives”

“You’ve got more soldiers”

“I’ve got more passion”

“And I’m right behind you just gaining traction”

“POW! POW! POW! POW!”

“BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!”

“And I know about the lovers in your bulletproof lining”

“They don’t intimidate”

“They’re just too bit-ah late and bad timing”

“And I know you’ve got your battle plan mapped out in inches”

“I’m not scared of you”

“I’m jumping right into these Brooklyn trenches”

“I might be a masochist just asking for more”

“This stage is like a standoff”

“You’re pretty tough”

“I’m bruised and bloody but I’ll never give up!”

“Come to my side”

“We’ll sing songs together”

“I’ll hold your hand”

“Make perfect-pitched babies and form a band”

“I don’t really wanna fight no more”

“I’m sweating in the sun”

“Camped out with ammo at your door”

“I just can’t be beat”

“I will stand the heat”

“Until your love is sure baby, this is war”

Birthday Cake:

“I wanna be a famous singer”

“Would you be my band?”

“Travel the world together”

“You can hold my hand”

“Crossing cracks from the airplane to the terminal gate”

“Hope we're meant for each other”

“Hope that love is our fate”

“Life feels like a whirlwind”

“Been watching paint dry”

“Can't steady the current”

“No matter how hard I try”

“We could all use an anchor”

“You're not afraid of the sea”

“Let's both dive in together”

“Put your hooks in me”

“Boy you really got me after birthday cake”

“Making love on my friends new couch”

“So call me any night, any day of the week”

“I wanna learn what you're all about”

"I know I'm far away but this is just the start”

“If we make it past the first little part”

“We could fly around the world in the very same plane”

“We could share a life, share a name”

“I wanna live in New York City”

“You say you're gonna come visit me”

“See a Broadway play”

“Snow has just started falling”

“Hope you'll come around soon”

“My apartment is tiny but I think there's enough room for you”

“I can't seem to shake walking Echo Park Lake or get your face, outta my head”

“Am I saying too much, way too soon?”

“Well my only confidant is this empty room”

“My only response is the echo on my voice”

“When I'm falling in love it's like I have no choice”

“From my heart to my throat to my lips to the air”

“I don't wish for much, but I wish you were here”

“We need to check this out, check me in”

“I'm not into playing games but I do fight to win”

Mess: 

“I've got bruises on my body, scratches on my face”

“Cookie crumbs, empty bottles all over my place”

“My bathroom mirror seemed to lose it's shine”

“When you leave you always leave a little mess behind”

"I am cleaning out my cupboards, dusting off my frames”

“Scrubbed my mouth with soap so I can't whisper your name”

“Sweeping 'round in circles trying to get you off my mind”

“Your cigarette smell, broke leather jacket taste”

“It lingers in the air right in front of my face”

“You're like a bar marker star stamp I can't scrub off”

“You're like a tattered ankle bracelet I can't seem to unknot”

“And if you wanna come around I'm caught”

“It's so early in the morning, so late at night”

“When you pull my hair and start a little play-fight”

“We are kissing in dark corners on your parents' floor”

“The kind of love that makes my knees and elbows sore”

“The kind of love that makes me just want more”

“I've got a blue stained t-shirt, my scratches bleed”

“I'm sure everyone on the subway can see”

“You make a mess of me”

“I am usually so clean, usually so sharp”

“You always come around when I'm about to fall apart”

“I'm like a fragile house of cards, you're that small gust of wind”

“Sweep by, quite the surprise I'm on the floor again”

“And if you wanna get me down I'm got”

“And if you wanna know how much it's a lot”

“Come over are we both in town”

“Come over cause I want you around”

“I want you to rip up my dress”

“I want you to make me a mess”

Berkeley’s Breathing:

“You know that I haven't gone to bed yet”

“Just call me up, I'm a sure bet”

“Berkeley's been breathing since first time we met”

“I'm wide awake, I'm a sure bet”

“Backseats and salt stings, the air crisp and breezy”

“Card key hotel room, boy, I'm just that easy”

“You know that I haven't gone to bed yet”

“If you want in, there's no need for a knock”

“We keep our doors at night unlocked”

“Tip-tap the glass, cigarette or small talk”

“I'm wide awake, my door's unlocked”

“Rain poured, my heart tore, but you didn't mind much”

“A red face from hot days and built-up lust blood rush”

“Lesson, lesson learned”

“You'll just sit, my fingertips get burned”

“Open flame, windowsill all night long”

“Take what's left of my best unfinished song”

“I'm wide awake, I'm your best bet”

Michael:

“I never could believe in God”

“But always willing to give it a shot”

“If there is such a thing as magic human souls then mine looks a lot like Michael”

“Yes, my soul looks a lot like Michael”

“Manhattan baby, drop-out, drug abuse”

“Naively feel I've walked around in his shoes”

“He looked so thirsty when my heart is full”

"I pour every drop out to Michael”

“Yes, I pour out my soul to Michael”

“Oh, San Francisco savior”

“Do you remember me?”

“In a backseat on a golden bridge, kissing”

“Let's forget about the tears I've cried”

“And let's hold on to that first night”

“Under the table he took my hand”

“We sat across from the Green Day band”

“All of those boys, but I could only see his face”

“Think how me and Michael, we are just the same”

“Yes, me and Michael we are just the same”

“I might've had a boy, and he a girlfriend”

“But on nights like those nights, rules always bend”

“I'd give up anything to feel understood”

“I'd give up and run away if Michael would”

“Please remember me”

#rph #sentence starters #rp starters #rp memes #ask meme #starters*

[steveramsdale]

Big dipper Blog - 10.10

This blog is, essentially, the same as last week’s. There are some alternative factual details, but they are superficial. Anyway, you could just reread (or remember) last week’s offering and save yourself a bit of time. If you do decide to read on, we could make it more fun. You could try to decide for yourself the highest high and the lowest low. Remember, it’s just for fun. There’s no prize, so don’t write, text or email.

I think, as people, we are supposed to grow, to learn, to develop. That’s the most startling revelation you’ll read today. Adversity can be, I’m told, an opportunity for such personal growth. It may, in fact, be true, that I have been learning about myself. I wonder if my ‘issue’ is that if one thing is wrong, it affects everything else. See what you think.

On Saturday, my chief goal was to get the car de-registered and get the papers I need for me to be able to export it. The police centre I needed to go to was advertised as opening at 9:30 so I had time to get up and get sorted. I had a wonderful colleague on notice to be available for telephone translation if necessary.

I took a 6am trip to the shop through the park. Many people were already out running, I’d say 100 or more and it’s not a big park. Much of Tashkent has given up on lockdown.

Soon it was time to head off for the simple process of taking my car off its registration here! Google maps took me behind the centre where there was no gate. It was not difficult to find a way round to the front. That was the last time a problem was easily solved on Saturday. When we got the van and went to register it for the first time, the father and son who sold it to us, took me and helped. Even so, when we got there, they accepted the help of a man who was at the centre to do just that - help, for a fee, people through the process. He charged me about £20 but probably saved us 3 or 4 hours by knowing what to do and going to the front of queues. When I returned to the scene of this lengthy but problem-free process, there were, again, these free-lance ‘sorters’ and I decided it would be worth accepting help. The price was about the same. However, the first problem emerged in minutes. The address. I knew, back in September, that this would be a problem one day, would bite me on the bum. Sorry, I forgot to say that this blog would contain strong language and adult themes. I have a credit card-sized, well, card which is my ownership document (log book). It has all of the details about me and my van. So, of course, the address is our old address. Now, in my passport, I have my new address. I did not sort this out. The people at the centre said they could not de-register me until I changed the address (of course I questioned this), and that I could not change he address there but had to go to the centre in Yunusabad. I paid about £2 for something and my assistant asked for (and received) about £5 for his help. I set off for the other centre.

Long-time readers may (won’t) remember that at the original registration, we also went to two centres - the wrong one first. The centre I had to go to now was that ‘wrong’ one. I love symmetry, and here it was. When I got there, again came the offers of help. There were more guys here and they wanted £60. I declined, at this rate. I first drove into the inspection hall. Here they check the car against the ‘tec-passport’ as the credit-card is called. They match up the chassis number, etc. I had the papers from the first centre, so that went through without a hitch. Thereafter, the day was just a big hitch or series of small hitches that’s looked like one big hitch. We return to the Uzbek system, seen at the Kazakh border (remember) of needing to go from window to window, room to room. However, I was soon (a relative term) told that I would not be able to deregister the van until I had proof that I was leaving the country too. This would be in the form of a stamp in my passport given by my landlord! This cuts a longer story short and, by now, includes Miss Viktoriya as my telephone translator. I was certain that this could not be right (by the way, the miss-matched address was no longer an issue. It would mean, for example, that an Uzbek could not export a car to a relative in Russia! I tried explaining this, we went back to the main hall to talk to the boss a couple of times, but no one was changing this story. I phoned Pim, the export guy who has helped with every stage of this van conversion, and he put me on to a colleague. We talked and he also spoke to the officials there but got the same answer. Pim then told me that his people would look in to it more on Monday (yes, this story goes on) and help to sort it. The woman I had been dealing with insisted that I go back to the other centre and get my £2 back - which was an incorrect charge. She even phoned them to arrange it for me. I didn’t go back. Not for £2.

As an aside, there has to be a better way for the authorities to organise this free-for-all. The system is not a system. Queuing is almost non-existent and the mass of people at peak times is ridiculous. The spivs there to help....It is bad enough in normal times, but while a pandemic is still around....

So now I was free, for the rest of Saturday and Sunday to worry and consider the prospect of being unable to send the van (and the ridiculous amount of other stuff) home. Here is where I realised that this one problem took over everything. I heard that cafes and restaurants would be allowed to re-open on Monday and immediately thought of Ecorn. I should have been more happy. I wasn’t. I did decide I would go and have a chicken caesar sandwich after work on Monday.

Monday was a tough day. There quite a lot of end of year stuff at school, practical stuff, which I’m finding stressful. Then there’s this. The rule is ridiculous but it seems to be the rule! Then, some good news - someone offered to help me. I had called Ekaterina, the woman who deals with staff visas and registration. I thought that she would know about this stamp I needed or would be able to find out. She did not know about the stamp but said that she would go with me to the car centre to find out about it. I still had the papers. We went after my last lesson and when she was free. We went to the office of the ‘Saturday woman’. She wasn’t in the office but her colleague remembered me and said I could go to the main room. We went across and up to a free window. Ekaterina spoke to the police officer there. He immediately told us that no such stamp was needed and, had I brought the car, or even just the number plates, he could have done it there and then! We had gone in a taxi. I asked if there was time for me to go and get the plates then, but there was not. I resolved to go early the next day as he said it would take about 30 minutes. And suddenly the world was full of sunlight and joy again. I looked with pleasure upon my fellow Uzbeks, pushing to the front of queues and standing too close to each other.

We shared a taxi as Ekaterina lives quite close to the centre. I enjoyed (really enjoyed) my Ecorn sandwich. Life was good again. As an aside, these were my first taxi rides since The 22nd March. I saw Z—- JB so I’m sure KB is out there somewhere. Will I see it?

On Tuesday morning, as planned, I went back to the Gai. It opens at 8 so I was there at 7:30. The officer from the evening before was the first to arrive and had the key for the room (more of a hall, really). My first lesson of the day is at 9. School is a 15/20 minute taxi ride away away (I was going in to school to do some of the other jobs I have to do), so this would be a doddle. I was the only customer. I had the number plates and the documents and handed them over. The officer began the process. After about 20 minutes we went over to the cassa (the payment room. He took me. It was about £6. The woman there said I should go back to get my refund (I had given her my receipt from the other place). I agreed that I should but did not say I would not. A taxi there and back would be about £4! We returned to the main room. he continued the process. Time continued to move on. More customers began to arrive. Many went to my guy’s window and he flitted between my job and theirs. None of them could see the ‘maintain distance’ stickers on the floor. These were very obtrusive, written in Uzbek and Russian and invisible to local men. As time ticked on, it was clear I would be late for my first lesson. I sent my students an email. I waited. Eventually, my officer moved across the room, to a computer. This is it. he’s going to print my papers. After about another 20 minutes, I saw the ‘printing’ notification/animation appear on his Windows ME screen. And, five minutes later, he was handing me the paper work. It was done. My first lesson of the day was abandoned but I had what I needed.

One more observation here - no one in Tashkent will be getting coronavirus of the chin.

While I was feeling sorry for myself, over the weekend, I saw people collecting rubbish being moved on by the police. I have mentioned previously, that there are always people sorting through the rubbish bin. The mostly seem to be collecting plastic bottles but take anything of value. This group of four had huge bags of plastic and were near ‘my’ bins. I have no idea why four police men were moving them on. I wondered how many plastic bottles you would need to collect in a day to ‘make a living’. I also wondered what these people had done wrong, ‘stealing’ my rubbish. I also wondered why I had been feeling so sorry for myself trying to sort out my ‘huge problem’. Perspective. It had gone. It has returned but I did not know it could be so fleeting.

I did some lessons at school on Tuesday and began all of the sorting, packing and tidying tasks. Mafirat, my TA, was in too. The internet is not great at school! It was good tom see people, but I was not entirely comfortable.

On Thursday, working from home again, I decided to go for coffee out before work. While walking round I saw two kittens playing and stopped to say ‘hi’. One had jumped into a ditch but the other stopped and looked at me. It the looked back at its mother (I’m guessing but 99.9% sure). She came stalking round a bush. She was ready to attack me if necessary. It was not necessary.

The fire engine and disinfectant squad were also back. While I was out, they sprayed all the way up the stairs in my building, so I imagine they were going through all of the buildings.

Thursday was also the day I would take the van. I had loaded everything. I had stuck the paper transit number plate in the front window. I was ready to go. It is a short drive to Pim’s warehouse. Of course I was stopped by a police man. he wanted to know why I was driving without number plates. As soon as I showed him the paper plate stuck in the window, he was fine. At the warehouse, about six guys unpacked everything and re-packed it in their boxes. It was (is) a ridiculous amount of stuff. And so, I left Munisa with strangers, to travel alone on the journey we should have made together.

And if I did stop at Ecorn and have another caesar sandwich, that’s nobody’s business but mine.

There were children playing inside my building. This is the first time this has happened. I could hear three or four playing further up the stairs - laughing and running around. Later, while I was talking to Mairi and Fred, they were outside my door. They were having a good time. I don’t know why they were playing on the stairs and I don’t mind. It was nice to hear voices and laughter.

Also on Thursday, in my last lesson of the day, guided reading, two notable things happened. A high and low (you decide). In our morning English lesson, we had defined some vocabulary, including ‘bittersweet’. We had talked about the meaning, in terms of taste, of the two parts of the word. They said they were happy that they understood it. The guided reading was Kensuke’s Kingdom. I had not realised it was the last chapter. We were suddenly at the end. I can assure you there are no spoilers ahead. As I was reading, I suddenly found myself getting emotional. The two main characters were interacting and I felt that I was going to cry. In fact, I did. The events of the last two or three paragraphs got to me. They are relevant to my situation, I suppose. This has never happened to me before in a lesson. I always tear up at the end of Sister Act 2 (the cinema’s greatest achievement) but this is a new one. One of the students said “Oh Mr Ramsdale, don’t cry!” The postscript didn’t help, but I regained my composure.

We talked about the complex emotions of the ending. One of my brightest students only every joins in through the chat. I looked in the box and she had written one word. -‘bittersweet’. My work here is done.

I know it’s been a longer one, but there are a few loose ends and thoughts.

Returning to an old them, I heard ‘unite together’. I also heard ‘plateaued off’. Unnecessary, people. Perhaps I should have said ‘returning back to an old theme’.

I saw JB. Driving over to the centre, I saw E___JB. So they’ve been out for a little while. Appropriately, the driver got that plate from one of the centres I went to this week!

Let’s finish with Trump. I mean that in both senses of that sentence. This week he again asserted that testing causes cases of the virus, so testing is bad. He also said that if people stop calling others racists, racism will quickly go away. At what age do toddlers acquire the concept of object permanence? He’s not there yet. If we can’t see him, will he cease to exist?

And that’s it. What sort of week has it been? Bittersweet.

See you next time.

[sgurrdearg]

Do you ever just. Fucking cry. Lmao.

I’m in SUCH a state of flux right now and it feels like.... it feels like a big crush or a whirlwind romance so I’m miserable and yearning but filled with so much happiness and HOPE and it’s really really fucking overwhelming and I’m doing my best to take a step back as much as I can???? Not sure that’s totally possible I’m ALL UP IN IT but I’m doing my best to think clearly and come up with plans A B C etc etc.

I just. I did talk about this in the tags yesterday but I just wanna type it out bc I find that helps me work thru my thoughts best of all. But when I left uni, I was severely suicidal, convinced that all my health issues were my fault/me overreacting, and then I had to face returning to a previously abusive home, or staying where I was & possibly being made homeless & almost certainly dying one way or another just to get a degree that wouldn’t even be worth it with the grades I was getting bc of the state I was in.

And I was resolute in that I would never return, Dundee was the worst place on earth and all of it was a mistake. But you know, with time and distance, maturing, and putting in the hard work of doing DBT on my own, I came to realise gradually that no, I was thankful to have been given the chance to discover hobbies that were previously inaccessible to me, and I still had love for them. I was thankful to have discovered subjects I still loved a lot (even if I thought myself too stupid to be worthy of them). I was thankful even to have been given the chance to BE disillusioned, to have bad shitty choices I made as a shitty 17 year old slap me in the face and realise that I done fucked up, that no I did have morals and I had to recentre the way I had *thought* the world worked to that and accept that it’s ok to be wrong, and to grow, and be disgusted with your past self. It’s a brutal lesson and I’m ashamed I had to learn it, but it gives me the insight and drive now to do better, even more so than if I hadn’t taken this path.

Ever since I left I’ve regularly had... nightmares? I guess? About being back in my flat, or a different living space, but back at Dundee, back at uni. Sometimes they definitely are nightmares and stress dreams, and other times..... they’ve been stressful and more than a little unpleasant but... there was a wistfulness to them. There was part of me in those dreams that knew it was worth it? And I wanted to be there. And I would wake up with such an aching in my heart, and would put it down to past trauma and that was that.

Because also, I was SO ill when I came back here, that it was a no go. I was NOT able to ever go back even if I had wanted to, and so I got to skip over the closure and processing part of it because it was just.... stamped and filed away for me. It was a life or death decision and I grew to be glad I chose life, even if it did mean being bedridden & housebound forever.

But now, in the past year and a bit.... my life has changed. Discovering I had Coeliac was a major adjustment but actually having answers and treatment and the validation that yes, I was ILL soothed my mind, and body has healed so much. I got on anxiety medication to tackle the PTSD and anxiety that has been plaguing me that my DBT couldn’t handle alone and it works, it actually fucking works I don’t get in a tizzy about every little thing, I actually barely have flashback nightmares any more, and I’m so much better at handling triggers. It’s not perfect but with time it will improve more and it’s WORKABLE.

I have energy and I have life, my mind is clear. I still struggle with ADHD and losing focus, but my doctor has recommended a specialist I could see privately who could help more efficiently than thru the NHS (because we barely have MH services where I live, it’s the worst in the country), to enable me to get proper support and medication for that last little helping hand I need to get my brain ON THE RAILS.

So since I’ve been better I’ve been getting involved in community activism, completely inspired and spurred on by my dear friend, and I’ve been loving it so far even tho I’ve barely begun! And beginning to see a life for me here.

And that’s where it’s all unravelling, really. Because. My life isn’t here. I’ve been in purgatory for five years. I never truly wanted to be back here, I just missed my pets and my parents (for all their faults, but we have all worked SO SO HARD to tackle our issues head on, and I’m proud of it. I don’t think it’s a path I would recommend for most people but I’m lucky in that my mum genuinely didn’t mean bad, and genuinely wanted to do better and put that work in. We have bad blips extremely fucking rarely because our communication is fucking SOLID now. I love them so much, they are my best pals.) and even though I can see myself being friends with the people I have in my life now and truly loving and being fulfilled with the volunteering and activism, and finding connections to get myself some fulfilling and flexible paid work too.... it isn’t home. And I’m the sort of person who doesn’t really have a “home” but. It’s not a place I like to hang out in, part of which is past trauma here, I’m always terrified I will see my abuser, but also, it’s never been a place I loved, even as a teen with actual hangout spots in the city, even as an adult with favourite shops, I feel no ache for them, no nostalgia, this place means almost nothing to me. I was in my old favourite record store a few months ago and it WAS lovely and made my week... but idk. I didn’t feel “it”. And I’m not saying that simply pursuing nebulous feelings and emotions is a smart thing to do, and I’m not basing a life choice on it totally, but when I put my foot down and made the choice to go on a day trip to Dundee back in 2018... it felt like ... open arms. It had barely changed, but even the parts that had I was excited to explore! I saw people I had once known and even talked to one and it hurt my heart but it was GOOD it was HEALING and I felt even then that, oh I could have stayed longer.

But again I just, didn’t pay too much mind to that beyond me being brave and facing my past and my regrets and putting that all in order in my mind, and just put all my emotions down to it being a really BIG thing. But now I’m back as a human being, I’m out there in meetings, I’m writing things up for people, emailing and networking and sending enquiries, talking about projects and talking about hillwalking at random??? And Scottish politics... and meeting new people and telling them my life story over and over has just been drumming it in. That I genuinely miss it. That this was once my life, but in a very different city and environment, and I miss it. I miss the worst parts of it that I know very clearly I would still hate and find hard, I miss the absolute best parts of it, that fill me with so much euphoria I could burst, I miss the quiet nondescript moments that I only remember because I have the memory of an elephant, like sitting folding leaflets on the sofa in the corner of the geography department. Filling in the attendance register and passing it around. Buying snacks for a field trip. Making the monthly walk to go pay rent. Treating myself to a pot of tea while I read my textbook in the café. Feeling homesick and depressed and exhausted, sobbing in front of a taxidermed otter at the museum. I want my worst moments there more than I want my best moments here and I’m frightened that I’m falling into a grass is greener thing, or that I’m romantisising past misery, or that I’m simply nervous about this new life I’m settling into...

But when I look back over the years, the voice quietly thinking or saying “I miss it and I want to go back, I want this life back” has always been saying it. My brain bricked her up to protect me when thinking that was futile, but she’s been growing louder and louder to a crescendo and now, with me being able to put the energy into things here, I can no longer use the excuse that finishing my degree isn’t possible. Because, it is. In theory. And with all of my brain thinking that just once it’s like that wall has come crashing down and this voice is now SCREAMING “I Miss It and I Want To Go Back, I WANT MY LIFE BACK” and I cannot ignore it.

I don’t know if it IS financially possible yet and I need to find it all out before I go nuts but, I’ve discussed it with my parents, and we have plans. It’s possibly possible and that HURTS my heart in a way that only true love and passion can and I just hope. I hope I’m going home. I think I’m doing it for the right reasons, I think I’m ready and at the rate I’m improving health wise I will absolutely be ready when the time comes, whether I can hop in this September or next. I just hope I can get it all ironed out. I want to go home.

#blethering

[la-vita-in-arancione]

Killer Queen: Chapter 7 - Bohemian Rhapsody

Summary:  Arabella Ruth White is the fifth member of the Marauders. And life at Hogwarts certainly isn’t easy. Especially when you have alcohol, relationships, unhealthy music obsessions, a fake stage persona, weird ass friends with weird ass problems and actual school all thrown into the equation. (This story is also on Wattpad and AO3 of the same name. I will always update on Wattpad first.)

A/N: Sorry I didn’t post last week even though I said I would. Half term ended up being busier than planned. We are now up to date with the Watttpad version of this story so that’s something! Enjoy!

Warning(s): swearing, mention of babies because that might be triggering for some people

Word Count: 2.6k+

Taglist: @missqueeniewrites

Ask to be on my taglist!

I don't often receive owl mail. I just don't. No idea why. My darling bastards of siblings can never be bothered to write to me, claiming that if they send me loads of letters then we'll have nothing to talk about when I get home. Which is fair enough. Even if it does seem a bit rude. But oh well. What are you going to do?

The only good thing about it, however, was that when I did get owl mail, it was always about something important. Some of my favourite letters have been from Rhea telling me that she never intended to speak to Luke ever again, only for her to reverse this statement only one day later; one from Mum telling me that the lady who owned the chippy on the pier had had a baby; and one from Luke telling me that said baby had shat on the carpet of his bedroom and that he now had to share with Rhea.

So, going by this logic, every letter I will ever get while at Hogwarts is guaranteed to be either important, amusing or both. This means it's worth my time. I reminded myself of this when I acquired my first letter of the year on a misty Friday morning which just so happened to be Halloween. As it was a Friday, I was naturally exhausted after the long week we had had (our OWLs must have been catching up with me). This was why I felt the need to remind myself that I absolutely had to read this letter. It could remodel my entire life my life for all I knew. The untidy bordering on illegible handwriting on the envelope clearly told me it was from Mum. I ripped it open and not one but two things were inside: a short letter from Mum and a small parcel which was the unmistakable size and shape of a single vinyl record.

Hello Ruth,

I actually apparated to just outside the school gates to owl this to you as it couldn't wait any longer. This morning Queen released a new single and you'll find it enclosed in the envelope. It's called Bohemian Rhapsody and the B-side is called I'm In Love With My Car. God knows what inspires them to make these songs. Steve from the record shop down the road says both songs are superb and that you'll like them if not love them. No news as to when the album is coming yet.

I hope everything's been going alright at school. How is the "project" going? Please tell me you've started by now, it's not fair on Remus to keep him waiting for this long. Sorry for not owling you sooner but to be honest, nothing much has happened in the two months you've been gone. The only thing really worth noting is that someone tried to shoplift some things from the shop so I threw a bucket and spade at them. They haven't come back since.

Luke and Rhea send their love of course, not that they would ever admit it in the presence of the other. Trixie from next door also asked me to check up on you as she hadn't seen you much all summer. I can't wait for Christmas so you can come back, thankfully it's only less than a couple of months. I'm slowly losing my mind without anyone else here to have an intelligent conversation with.

Love you lots,

Mum xxx

Fuck yes, Mum.

She is an actual savage and I love that so much. Only she would get away with throwing kids toys at thieves. Sounds like he deserved it though. What kind of crackhead would assume they could steal from my mum and get away with it. I made a promise to myself to reply to her after lessons had ended for the day.

But on a more important note. Queen released a new single.

Two new songs.

Holy shitting fuckity fuck on a crumpet.

FINALLY NEW MATERIAL.

AFTER A FUCKING YEAR.

YES.

The gods must have been smiling at me that day for this was a glory that not even Clotho could have foreseen. I unwrapped the record, more carefully this time as to not scratch it, and, true to Steve's word, there was the vinyl: Bohemian Rhapsody. Whatever the fuck that meant. Sounded pretty epic though.

"Are you OK Ruth?" Remus asked, mock concern lacing his voice. He'd given up on trying to teach us how to stay alive years ago, now he merely observed and occasionally saved our lives. Honestly, bless that boy. However, it wasn't until he had asked this question that I realised this wasn't the first time the boys had tried to get my attention since I received the letter.

"I'm fan-fucking-tastic, darling. Never been better," I grinned.

"Now here's the thing, I can't tell if you're being sarcastic or not," Peter chuckled, causing me to lightly whack him around the back of the head.

"No, you bloody wanker, I am genuinely joyful."

"Well that's new," Sirius muttered, earning him also a small smack. I would never properly hit any of my friends unless they had absolutely betrayed me. Which was unlikely.

"What's so good about this letter then?" James asked earnestly, just a tad confused.

I smirked at him, "If you come and bunk this lesson with me then you'll find out."

So that's how the boys and I ended up in the Room of Requirement, listening to Queen's latest song, instead of being in Divination.

At some point during my first year, I found out about the Room of Requirement when I overheard a conversation between some 7th years. Upon discovering this, I promptly went to the room's location, wishing for a space for music. A bit vague, I must admit, but at the time, I had merely been searching for a place to keep my record player and vinyls. The room itself was not as plain as I first visualized. Many wooden, modest-sized crates and boxes filled to the brim with my records were scattered around - more of an organised mess than you might expect. Each crate was dedicated to a certain artist who I loved: Queen, Elton John, David Bowie, The Beatles, etc. My scarlet, black and gold record player sat proudly on top of a dark oak cupboard that existed for purely decorative purposes. A grand piano stood on the other side of the spacious room next to a throne of sorts that I felt was necessary to have. A crimson, old-fashioned sofa was positioned at the back of the room with an identical ivory one opposite it. Fairy lights were tangled in just about everything in the room, adding to the general aesthetic rather than any form of assistance. If anything, it was more of a nuisance but I would never sacrifice the atmosphere it presented.

The boys plonked themselves on the leather sofas as I crouched down, carefully placed the record on the turntable and adjusted the speed from the usual 33 RPM to the 45 setting. I put the needle on the rim of the record and sat cross-legged on the floor next to the speakers. I loved to have them right next to my ears whenever I listened to a record for the first time. Especially when it came to Queen – it didn't escape my attention that the sound often went from one speaker to the other. I closed my eyes softly when I heard the familiar crackle that always made me grin like an idiot. There was something about focusing on just my hearing and giving my other senses break. That was how music was supposed to be – for your ears.

Is this the real life?

Is this just fantasy?

The strong harmonies rang throughout the room, almost echoing.

Caught in a landslide

No escape from reality

Open your eyes

Look up to the skies and see

The piano started to creep in, gradually getting louder as the song progressed.

I'm just a poor boy, I need no sympathy

Freddie's effortlessly recognisable voice sung alone for a moment, only for the harmonies to make a comeback.

Because I'm easy come, easy go

Little high, little low

The lyrics filled both of my ears, left then right. It was so stereotypically Queen; it was like their seal, their stamp, their trademark that said 'Yeah, we did that'.

Anyway, the wind blows

Doesn't really matter to me, to me

The repetitive notes of the piano and John's wonderful bass sound played alone for a couple of bars.

Mama, just killed a man

Put a gun against his head

Pulled my trigger, now he's dead

Somewhat taken aback by the dark turn the lyrics had taken, I felt goosebumps up and down my arms as a reaction to the melancholic feel of the song.

Mama, life had just begun

But now I've gone and thrown it all away

The song as a whole rose to a crescendo. I could hear the emotion and passion in Freddie's voice – it was almost ethereal.

Mama, ooh, ooh

Didn't mean to make you cry

If I'm not back again this time tomorrow

Carry on, carry on as if nothing really matters

The volume suddenly decreased. Roger's drumming became more prominent in this verse.

Too late, my time has come

Sends shivers down my spine

Body's aching all the time

Goodbye, everybody, I've got to go

Gotta leave you all behind and face the truth

Mama, ooh (anyway the wind blows) I don't want to die

I sometimes wish I'd never been born at all

The lyrics got darker if that was even possible. The clear, sharp sound of Brian's guitar solo filled every inch of the room. After about half a minute of glorious guitar, all of the instruments were cut short by quiet, staccato piano chords.

I see a little silhouette of a man

Scaramouch, Scaramouch will you do the fandango

I wasn't exactly expecting a full-on choir that was truly just Freddie, Roger and Brian's voices on top of each other, over and over again. I dreaded to imagine how long that must have taken to record.

Thunderbolt and lightning, very, very frightening me

Galileo, Galileo, Galileo, Galileo,

Galileo Figaro magnifico

The 'Galileo's made me giggle: how the fuck could Roger sing higher than me? I understand that I'm an alto but he's a bloke!

But I'm just a poor boy, nobody loves me

He's just a poor boy from a poor family

Spare him his life from this monstrosity

Easy come easy go will you let me go

Bismillah, no we will not let you go, let him go

Bismillah, we will not let you go, let him go

Bismillah, we will not let you go, let me go

A tiny smile crept its way onto my face at hearing 'Bismillah'. It was a word that I had heard Dorcas say on numerous occasions.

Will not let you go, let me go (never)

Never let you go, let me go

Never let me go, ooh

No, no, no, no, no, no, no

Oh mama mia, mama mia, mama mia let me go

Beelzebub has a devil put aside for me

For me, for me

Roger's ridiculously high voice filled my ears once again, even higher-pitched this time around. Louder, more rock-orientated music blasted out of the speakers of the record player. I couldn't help but bang my head along to it. It was like being hypnotised; you couldn't control your movements.

So you think you can stone me and spit in my eye

So you think you can love me and leave me to die

Oh baby, can't do this to me baby

Just gotta get out, just gotta get right outta here

The song quietened down again, not unlike how it had been at the beginning.

Ooh yeah, ooh yeah nothing really matters

Anyone can see nothing really matters

Nothing really matters to me

Anyway, the wind blows

The last line was barely audible but fortunately, I could make out Freddie's voice from my spot next to the speakers. When I finally opened my eyes again, I could see the boys had been straining to hear it. A gong sounded throughout the room, marking the end of the song.

I glanced at the boys, wanting to observe their reactions to the near enough six-minute masterpiece we had just had the privilege of hearing.

"That was definitely worth missing Divination for," Remus chuckled and honestly, that was the best I could have ever hoped for. We spent the next 20 minutes gushing about the song and listening to it again about 2 or 3 times. Only after this did we realise that we hadn't yet listened to the B-side: I'm In Love With My Car. Unsurprisingly, it was written and sung by Roger and was indeed about him being in love with his car. Not quite sure what I was expecting if I'm honest. It turned out to actually be a brilliant song and the boys and I had a blast rocking out to it.

Suddenly I had an epiphany. That absolutely, completely, positively could not wait a moment longer.

So naturally, I had to tell the boys.

"Guys, guys, guys!" I exclaimed, everyone turning their heads to stare at me like they were a clan of meerkats, "Remember our Halloween prank tonight at dinner? Change of plan."

**********

The rest of the day was a fairly normal affair. I could hardly concentrate because my mind was buzzing with thoughts about Queen and our prank tonight. Nothing out of the ordinary then.

By the time dinner came around, the excitement was radiating off us in waves. Somehow, this was the first prank we had done all year, which was certainly saying something. Just as Dumbledore stood up from his seat to give one if his famed speeches, I tapped on the table to signify the start of the prank. Peter took his cue and murmured a charm, making all of the candles suddenly blow out and plunging the Great Hall into darkness. Hushed whispers from confused students were suddenly silenced by the sound of a microphone whistling. This meant Remus had executed his part of the plan, now it was time for James's. Being the best at Transfiguration out of all of us, his job was to transform the metal torches at the tops of the walls into various different instruments - guitars, basses, drums, pianos, gongs, wind chimes, etc. Now for my part. I charmed all of the floating pumpkins in the hall so they would sing. Which song you ask? Bohemian Rhapsody, of course, my dears. I smiled when the familiar voices of Queen echoed all around the Great Hall. Once the acapella part of the song was over, Sirius charmed the newly made instruments so they would play their respective parts when needed. I had to bite my lip to stop myself from laughing: even in the darkness, I could make out some facial expressions that could only be described as a mixture of confusion, annoyance, glee and defeat.

The song seemed to be over before it had even begun, which was a shame. Everyone applauded as we reversed the spells and Dumbledore actually congratulated us in his speech! McGonagall, however, reprimanded us and gave us detentions for disrupting the dinner or some bullshit like that. I personally believed she secretly loved the prank. Maybe the eye roll suggested this as she trooped back to the teacher's table. Or maybe I had imagined it.

Who even knows any more?

#marauders #marauders fanfiction #marauders imagine #marauders x reader #70s marauders #marauders era #marauders headcanon #lgbt fanfiction #lgbtlove #lgbt headcanon #lgbt imagine #lgbt #harry potter x queen #marauders x queen #queen #queen band #queen x reader #queen imagine #queen headcanon #queen fanfiction #bohemian rhapsody x reader #bohemian rhapsody #Sirius black imagine #remus lupin imagine #peter Pettigrew imagine #james potter imagine #Freddie mercury imagine #brian may imagine #john deacon imagine #roger taylor imagine

[shsuschoollibraryprogramming]

Multiple Days #2

“Stop, Collaborate & Create”

(resubmitting with video that 3 student library aides helped create)

Planning

A) Attend a content level PLC of your choice to discover current teaching content, areas of concern to spiral, or material to soon be introduced. Decide the best way to assist with content.

B) Meet with STEAM/STEM Lab teacher to work together for a stop motion collaboration.

C) Figure out an amount of time that is reasonable for the creation and completion of a stop motion feature with classroom content.

Promotion

A) Share stop motion videos from former STEM/STEAM lessons and LEGO interest pieces the week before in the library and discuss the effort and thought process needed to create one.

B) Ask questions:

What did you notice about the video(s)?

Why are there halting moments between motions?

What are frames? (Explain.)

Why create something using Stop Motion?

C) Showcase a premade video by you, the librarian or teacher (keep it short).

Preparations

A) Make sure that the stop motion program works with technology on hand (iPad, Chromebook, etc.).

B) Put information into a general location, like Google Classroom.

C) Create a video to share during promotion. Video can tie in with a book, character, library activity OR tie in with content area.

D) Check the calendar for any events or dates that interfere with the completion of project so that the project is worked on consecutively.

E) Have a supply bin prepped with string, wire, toys, felt, etc. Students can contribute to this as well.

Procedures

A) Students are given 3 choices and may split into groups or work individually.

As an example:

Break down a conflict & resolution scenario from a book you are reading (or have already read).

Showcase the flow of a food chain complete with snippets of information displayed.

Walk learners through how to solve a multiplication problem.

B) Students will first create a drawing board (could be illustrated or written out). Need stamp of approval.

C) After approval, students need to pick up a filming backdrop (large poster or trifold board) and a technology device. LEGO pieces and other items will be available for use to create the video (items can be brought from home).

D) Students may use items from the supply bin – need to maintain an orderly mess.

E) Students will create a 10 – 30 second video.

F) Students will have 3 library visits to work on this (either consecutive or weekly). They are not limited to this schedule and may work during study hall or when their work is completed.

G) Videos will be shared with their classes through a gallery walk that must have a QR code and illustration to highlight the content of each video (and streamed through social media, school televisions, or online with student permission).

Payoff

A) Realizing that learning can connect in many ways will broaden the view that students (and teachers) have of education, interests, and the idea of learning.

B) Creativity and sharing creates a deeper sense of community.

References

Cloud Stop Motion

Sesame Street: Teeny Little Super Guy Game

LEGO Stop Motion Animation for Kids (Compilation) | LEGO Police, Superheroes, Robbery | Billy Bricks

#Quick #Multiple Day #Large #Contest #Year-Long #Elementary #Secondary #General #submission

[vincentcheungteam]

Church and Seminary

If seminaries are necessary, they are necessary only because churches do not have adequate teaching ministries. Of course, even when a church has an adequate teaching ministry, a seminary might still have certain advantages, such as a larger community of scholars, a larger library, and so on. However, if the church is serious about its teaching ministry, then the difference between its resources and a seminary's resources will only be one of degree. A church could have its own community of scholars (teaching elders, etc.), a good-sized library, and other resources for teaching and research, so that a seminary, even if useful, is still not absolutely necessary for ministerial training.

The training model of Christ (Jesus and the Twelve) and the apostles (Paul and Timothy) is more than sufficient. If it seems insufficient, it is only because churches have not really adopted it. The leaders of a church should be able to train their own partners and successors, instead of having to send their people to seminaries to be taught by people that nobody in the church knows, or worse, to hire someone from the outside with whom the church has never had a relationship.

Some seminary graduates are stupid and arrogant, and unworthy of ministry. Most cases are not even examples of "knowledge puffeth up" (1 Corinthians 8:1), but it is the belief that they have knowledge that puffs them up, since they in fact know very little. It is impossible to tell whether a person knows anything just because he has a degree.

I started to exhibit an interest in biblical matters when I was in elementary school, and as this continued for a number of years, my parents wanted to make sure that I was not misled in my studies. So they brought me to several seminary-trained pastors and gave me the opportunity to discuss theological issues with them. They could not answer my questions. When our positions differed, they could not refute what I said. And they did not know the biblical passages we discussed half as well as I did.

I knew very little, and some of my beliefs were false. In fact, I was not even converted at the time. But these pastors, who were trained in seminary and had spent much time in ministry, could not properly instruct or refute even a child like me. It was not because I was especially clever, but they were especially incompetent, despite their years of training and experience. Of course, not all seminary graduates are like this, but the point is that just because a person has a seminary degree does not mean that he is capable.

If I were to hire a seminary graduate from outside of my circle, instead of promoting someone that I have known and trained for years, there is no chance that I would allow him to teach my congregation or my audience right away. First, although he has a seminary degree, I still have no idea if he knows anything or if he is good at anything, because a degree never proves knowledge or competence. Second, knowledge and competence are not the only qualifications for ministry, but a minister must be above reproach in his character.

So I might put him on probation for a while, and make him do all sorts of menial work. I would make him haul boxes. I would make him scrub toilets.[2] I would make him serve coffee to janitors and secretaries. I would make him help in the nursery so that he can change diapers and mob up vomit. If he thinks that he is too good for all of this, then he is no good to the ministry. If, fresh out of the seminary, he thinks that he is already some "man of God" that is too important to do anything other than teaching and writing, and to have people sit at his feet to hear his wisdom, then he is a useless piece of trash, and he is so stupid that he does not know it.

Nobody in the organization would be intimidated by his seminary degree. The more he talks about it or tries to impress people with it, the more we will look down on him and humiliate him. If he ever introduces himself as "doctor" so-and-so, then he might as well walk right out the door and never come back (Matthew 23:7-12). If he has the goods, then he can show us by his humble and excellent service.

There are numerous other details that I could notice. I would take him on errands and meals, and I would watch how he treats the waiters and the doormen. I would casually suggest that we meet at a certain time, and then see if he arrives early (I always do). If he is married, I would watch how he interacts with his wife, to see whether he selfishly lords it over her, or whether he uses his authority to serve her with sacrificial love.

When someone is applying for ministry, all of these things are relevant, and then he must also meet the proper intellectual and doctrinal standards. If it is someone that I have trained, I would have all the information I need about him, but a seminary degree tells me none of these things. Consider the lessons and tests based on Luke 14:7-11, Proverbs 29:5, James 1:19 (also Proverbs 10:19), and others. So what if he has a seminary degree? Even if he comes from one of the best seminaries, it might still mean that he is more likely to be full of pride, unbelief, false doctrines, and the traditions of men. It is easy to train up someone more spiritually and intellectually competent in several months to a year. If he is too "holy" or educated to mob up vomit or scrub the toilet, then I do not want him to even lick stamps for my church or ministry. He is not good enough to be the speed bump on the church parking lot, and he can forget about being a teacher. On the other hand, nothing that I have described should pose a problem to a genuine servant, one who is not trying to be a master or a celebrity to God's people (Matthew 20:25-28).

All of this applies to me as well – the day that I consider myself too much of a "man of God" to scrub the church toilet is the day that I have become as a filthy toilet to God. And it would not be enough to do a half-baked job – if I scrub a toilet, I am going to make it shine. I will not pretend that I have had as many opportunities to perform menial work as many other people, but whenever the demand was placed upon me, I did a good job with a good attitude.

To illustrate from an early experience, all the students at my high school were required to work in the kitchen for one year. I was placed under an elderly supervisor who was accustomed to handling spoiled and grumbling students – kitchen work was considered the worst on campus. Probably expecting another lazy and whiny worker, the supervisor was very harsh and critical at first. But I worked so hard and so well that her attitude toward me was changed after several days, and she even started giving me preferential treatment.

I was promoted from the smelliest and most disgusting tasks in the kitchen (like dumping leftovers from people's dishes and trays into a hole where all of this mixed discarded food had been for many hours), to repetitive tasks like peeling potatoes (thousands of small red potatoes!), and finally to the front of the kitchen to arrange the items on the counters and to serve food to the students.

My favorite tasks were the disgusting and the repetitive ones. People stayed away when I was doing the disgusting tasks (I did not think it was that bad, but others did), and I did not have to think about what I was doing for the repetitive ones, so that while I was working, I would spend all those hours thinking on Scripture, and on the sermon that I would preach that week.

On the last day, when the year was over and it was time for me to leave, the full-time adult workers at the kitchen were in tears – they were weeping and trembling. This is the power of the normal biblical work ethic. I was not like this because I was born this way, but because I was a Christian, sovereignly changed and nurtured by God.

Jesus left us an example. Since our Lord and Teacher was willing to perform a servant's work, we dare not consider ourselves greater than our master (John 13:14–17). It would be unbiblical to require a minister to do menial work as part of his regular duties (Acts 6:2), but he should never consider himself above it, and he should gladly participate whenever he is needed. In fact, a leader should make a point of humbling himself and setting an example by helping with the lowly tasks at church, without neglecting his main duties.

If I were to train or test someone that I have hired from the outside, then I will have to pay him a reasonable salary while he is on probation, and meanwhile he would not be doing the work that I hired him to do in the first place. Moreover, I have been using humility and work ethic only as examples – there are many other things that I need to test and teach him. But if I were to promote someone from within my own church or ministry, he would have already been trained and tested for a long time.

There are some things that a seminary can do to train and test their students when it comes to humility. For example, it can make the students do all the janitorial work. But seminaries might consider this unfeasible for various reasons, and those that are willing to implement something like this cannot make it work as well as a church can. Also, if the students do this sort of work as a school requirement, then they might not perceive its significance and would just go through the motions, and the work would be much less humiliating to the proud (which makes the training less meaningful and effective) than if they were in the minority, as would be the case if someone is trained and tested in a church community. In general, a church is the better environment for raising up its own workers and leaders.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━ [1] Adapted from email correspondence. [2] Cleaning toilets ought to be a joy – the stuff that you scrub off the toilet is much less stubborn and much more fragrant than many of the people that you will deal with in ministry. If you cannot even handle toilets – and what you find in them – how will you handle people?

Vincent Cheung. Doctrine and Obedience (2012), p. 4-7.