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#and people who dont find annoying. this world needs more ppl like you
fefairys · 7 months
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now ive got quadrants on the brain specifically kismesissitude because i see the general attitude towards "do you use hs quadrants to label ur irl relationships?" as "i have a moirail/understand having a moirail but the black quadrants just dont work for humans, theyre for a fictional species" or "i have a kismesis but its like a joke" and im like lol. lmao even.
i guess it is my troll kinnie ass but the most common crush i get on people is a pitch one lmao.. my relationship with my fiance started as a kismesissitude and slowly morphed into kismoirailsprits over time, but like, we were a healthy kismesissitude and we still are partly kismesisses! idk if yall saw that gay little interaction we just had (scroll a few posts down on my blog lmao) but like we are still antagonistic towards each other a lot and our relationship started with us hating each other and was built around how much we annoyed each other.
its a very specific feeling and emotion to me! because i have dated people and NOT felt that way, too, so its not like "oh but everyones playfully antagonistic to their partners sometimes!" no no no this is so different. because when i was with my last girlfriend, yeah we would tease each other sometimes, but it wasn't the same feeling as Pitch Romance to me. it's a whole different feeling.
i very often get crushes on people where they annoy the hell out of me. i find them attractive, and even charming at times, but most of the time when they talk im like oh my god you are the most annoying person in the world. i want to make out with you about it. pitch feelings are about being ANGRY that you like you someone so much, to me. like "why the fuck do i like you so much when you're always getting on my nerves. why do i want to be around you all the time even though everything you say pisses me off. why do i want to kiss you." lmao. thats my experience at least! and also wanting to annoy them and rile them up in return. thats how i felt about juice at the start of our relationship, and i still have those feelings towards it now, though i also have other feelings like just plain and simple genuine Love and Affection without the annoyance as well. it fluctuates. depends on if we are annoying each other at the moment or not haha
i've told ppl this and they've been like "oh so its like tsundere" and im just like. I GUESS????? but to me it is so different like i feel like tsundere is when you like someone but cant admit it so you act like you hate them (maybe you even believe that you hate them, but truly, you like them) whereas kismesissitude is truly hating someone, finding them annoying and infuriating, but in an exhilarating way. i hate you and you hate me and its fun to annoy each other and watch each other get all mad.
the quadrant i'd personally never feel the need to be part of is the ashen one because its main purpose is to prevent cheating on ur kismesis and its like. well im polyamorous so. lol. i could see it being used in human relationships if its like, someone who functions as your moirail and helps mediate in arguments you have with other people where you/the other person are getting too angry with each other? i guess?
and also like. treating a moiraillegience as monogamous and something you can "cheat on" someone else with is definitely not the way to go imo. i mean im in a pale throuple rn. we call each other moirails because we trust each other more than anyone with talking about our feelings and stuff! but back in the day i remember people literally being like "he said *paps you* to my moirail what the fuck thats MY moirai only *i* can pap them!l" and its like alright calm down...
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dayvan · 1 year
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i dont think that everyone who enjoys a piece of media needs to be writing 1000 word meta on its Totally Deep Themes TM or ~deconstructing its use of visual metaphors~ or whatever but as an aromantic person i think im more than a bit justified in complaining about how so much of fandom culture is centred around shipping to the point that finding content about the themes/narrative/character development/storytelling/etc for certain pieces of media rather than what two characters people think should be fucking is nigh impossible.
and i get that this wasn't what your original post was complaining about at all nor do i particularly think you were considering an aromantic perspective on this at all, which is fine, but i feel the need to make it very clear to you that not everyone who bitches about how fandoms are too obessed with shipping is some pseudo-intellectual wannabe media critic or a homophobic 'why cant two guys just be friends anymore? type, although those are obviously equally deeply annoying problems too
fandoms, and the world at large, could do with being far less romance centred. of course of im not arrogant enough to think that just because that shipping is one of, if not the most common type of fancontent then that must mean its the only way ppl enjoy media, but that doesnt make its overwhelming prevelance any less alienating or just straight up fucking irritating
dude i understand where you're coming from, but its not hard AT ALL to find content for the themes, narrative, character development, storytelling, etc for Disco Elysium. if you're not finding it on tumblr then i urge you to go looking for it on the internet because there's essays upon essays about all this, even video essays on youtube if you don't want to read.
as a disclaimer, i'm not saying nobody on earth is allowed to be peeved over people reducing DE characters to yaoibait, i think there's plenty to criticize there. from a gay perspective, a nonwhite perspective, an aromantic perspective, etc.
But the thing is that gay people are not going to stop making shipping content, and neither should they. when you encounter a fandom that is dominated by gay people you are going to have to deal with the fact that its going to have a lot of romance and sex and shipping in it because the homosexuality. it's not just because shipping is popular in all fandom spaces including among straight people, it's also because we're alienated from the heteronormative hegemony.
especially in the case for gay people in the third world, creating gay content is not only a form of coping but its one of the few ways we can empower ourselves while immersed in conservatism. and honestly i don't want it to stop! we need this. i don't know what that means to me re: the plight of aromantic people in fandom spaces, but if accommodating to everyone means gay people have to censor their own gay content or keep it cordoned off, untagged, hidden, then i don't want it. because for the longest time pre-2010 that was the status quo in fandom spaces. gay content was seen as fujoshi brainrot no matter where it came from. i'm glad it's not the case anymore and i'm not gonna act like i want it to go back to the way it was before.
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rabbityshen · 1 year
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something that i dont think is exclusive to social media or online discourse/drama but does fuel a lot of interpersonal issues on both when you're someone who's generally progressive and trying to become a better person is the (very true) concept that learning about oppression and social justice is going to be often psychologically uncomfortable because it requires some self-interrogation of your current biases, assumptions, and ingrained behaviors. challenging yourself is a part of growing up in general but becomes especially vital if you come to understand systemic oppression and inequity, and how those affects yourself and other people. particularly in how most oppression results in warped cultural priorities around boundaries, consent, and ethical values.
however i think this can result in two kinds of unhelpful, totalizing reactions:
i end up perceiving any and all personal discomfort as only a result of external systemic oppression and bigotry. if i feel annoyed, upset, or hurt, that's because of other people and society and they need to work it out so i am not harmed anymore, regardless of context.
i end up perceiving any and all personal discomfort as a result of internalized systemic oppression and bigotry. if i feel annoyed, upset, or hurt that's because i am still mired in my bigotry. it must be my problem as someone raised in this society and i must do better to work through my discomfort regardless of the context.
the first i think gets a lot of spotlight because, well, it's a classic anti-social justice rhetoric strawman to paint all discourse about oppression as people with "victim complexes." though there is some truth to people weaponizing social justice rhetoric to disguise abuse or hurtful patterns/dynamics of behavior. this is also especially tricky when abusive dynamics often rely on people ignoring their own gut reactions of discomfort and pain. so sometimes there is overcorrection to intellectualize all personal discomfort as morally sound. you see this a lot in say, "kink at pride" discourse.
the second is a bit harder to parse because as i said before, feeling discomfort is necessary in engaging with social justice concepts. growing up and becoming a better person in general requires questioning yourself. you must learn you are not the center of the world and beyond that, you must challenge base reactions of who you find disgusting or comfortable without thought or critical thought. but i also think it's easy to gaslight yourself into situations in which you must always feel bad or anxious as a form of self-improvement, or even "praxis." see what i said above about abusive dynamics.
the fact is there is no hard rule for what discomfort is internalized bigotry or insiduous cultural norms, and what personal discomfort is you reacting to harm and oppression. this is not even a correct or productive dichotomy to judge anything by, maybe a sliding gradient at best. there is no solution for this problem especially when you cannot spend 24/7 researching "the correct position" and simply "be kind and compassionate, within reason" is very nebulous.
the best course of action imo, which is something i struggle with too, is being willing to talk to friends and ppl in your community* that you respect about these topics. this can even mean ppl you know you disagree with on some stuff** just to get their perspective, which can be more enlightening than just ppl who are like-minded. and this can also just be listening to/reading what ppl say (so you arent just bugging ppl all the time to figure out your ethics) but i think it's worthwhile to discuss things as an active choice than just "listening" bc you can sometimes end up inside your head for too long or pulled into black/white thinking by the most extreme, loudest voices. discussion and conversation does have their own merits!
and part of that means willing to be honestly incorrect or ignorant (while still respectful and thoughtful) and part of that means willing to expand emotional bandwidth to talk people through your perspective in good faith, both being kind and maintaining boundaries. that's also how you build community. they are also maybe the hardest and most mortifying things to do in the world even under the best of circumstances, let alone the constantly churning outrage social media economy. so. lol (lol)
*i realize this is also a nebulous concept that gets bandied about as a utopian ideal but what i mean is just like, whatever makes sense to you under that umbrella. it can be family, colleagues, ppl in your hobby subculture, etc.
**obv i dont mean anti-sjw concerntrolls or whatever lol
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prismimic · 2 years
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One of the best things abt mcr is definitely how it inspires people to just be unabashedly earnest and sappy. If u like mcr theres no room to pretend to be cool and detached about it anyway, so ppl just constantly gush and wax poetic and make art abt how much the band means to them. That also makes it the easiest thing in the world to mock, so while I do understand and sympathize with ppl who just find the mcr fanbase annoying, i do urge some of u to stop being so addicted to cringing when others dare to find real joy and meaning in something that u bend over backwards to look for even more reasons to be mad.
Celeb worship is one thing but is there no shame in literally just looking up to and recognizing urself in artists u love & finding Meanings and Narratives to latch onto in their deeply personal body of work. In fact it is one of the best things in the world. Theres no need to justify it, and theres no need to find some justification Against it, to find some "gotcha" in the form of some problematic thing one of the band members did and Why arent we talking about That. First of all we know, you're the ones who are years late to the discussion. Secondly you don't actually even care. You just want a bigger reason to complain abt something you've seen too much of against ur will lately. Its FINE to be annoyed abt & complain abt that. Just hit that unfollow button, make that 5 note post abt how irritating we are and move on king. U dont need to look for some ideological justification to fuel your hate campaign i prommy
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trickstarbrave · 1 year
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after playing morrowind (im not finished i am just too exhausted to play rn) i am just overwhelmed with the desire to take a hammer to skyrim, rip it up, and build smth new
i dont hate the setting of skyrim. i dont hate the main ideas behind it. i just think it was done dirty by oversimplification of the plot progression. the way it is structured and written feels like it presumed the player is a lazy moron incapable of thinking things through or making choices. there is rarely ever 2 ways to solve a problem. not to mention it is mostly annoying dungeon crawling with little justification. just go to this nordic tomb and get this thing. only exceptions are thieves guild and dark brotherhood missions only because it would make less than 0 sense. but the mages college? main story? BARDS COLLEGE? dungeon crawling baby hope you arent fucking sick of draugar by now bc you’ll be seeing a bunch of them. most of the time in morrowind i wasn’t in random dungeons or caves. people sent me to track down other people, solve problems for them. you can wipe out a mine or you can extort money from the owner. you can talk your way out of problems. in some sections you can kill ppl annoying you who wont name you horator.
some suggestions i have to make skyrim feel more alive and complex (under the cut bc i wrote too much) based on now other elder scrolls games so i know these things arent impossible or never occurred to anyone at bethesda:
>reputation and disposition should come back. why are these random ppl answering all my questions? if im a nobody except named dragonborn by some monks in a monastery no one really does to, why does anyone give a shit i say stop the civil war?
>much like the nerevarine, people don’t believe you are dragonborn right off the bat. hell, even if they DO, that doesn’t make you THE dragonborn. many dragonborns have exists. you claiming to be one more so makes you a potential problem for politics--the empire could be weary of you trying to drum up support to overthrow the empire, something they DONT NEED. the monks meanwhile ask you to do a VARIETY of spiritual tasks before they will begin training you. gather artifacts not just in tombs. go to various locations around the world. after every shout they teach you they don’t just give you a tutorial but then set you on a clear task to use it. maybe i need to go find a fox that is an avatar of lorkhan, or travel to that tree to speak to kyne. and even after they name you dragonborn, see above, not everyone is going to agree with their judgement or necessarily care. but also if you DO prove yourself, you could gain a lot of respect and reputation around various factions. this would also incentivize exploring instead of just fast traveling to your next dungeon.
>a dragon cult that isn’t undead as an overworld faction. im sick and tired of all dragons being mindless killing machines with few exceptions. im sick of all the dragon cultists being basically zombies and liches. if theyre a real threat, they should have a bigger presence. dragons taking over towns and small settlements where there are acting priests or priests in training. cultists taking people captive. draugar waking from their tombs and wandering into town to kill people. make them a third player in the ‘civil war’. maybe some dragons ruling these towns dont even kill you on sight--to them you are a weak little baby dragon who poses no threat. the soul of a human in a weak, fragile body who does not understand what true power you could attain, a pitiful creature who doesn’t even know flight or the full extent of their knowledge. they are sentient beings with their own culture and ideas after all. and the cultists could have a very real motivations for joining like being fed up with both the empire AND stormcloaks, or not wanting to be the next helgen.
>i actually liked morrowind’s dialogue system ngl. i understand the limitations of a fully verse voice cast, but they already reuse voices and dialogue. i wish we could just ask more conversation topics and get more varied answers. weird responses from npcs made interacting with characters more memorable and enjoyable than a basic stupid fetch quest. caius being like “uhhh you’re starting to scare me” when i questioned him about my weird dreams made it feel like we were actually having a conversation and i was asking questions not just “this is scripted dialogue and i am basically a story prop with no thoughts or feelings” like i often get in skyrim (with a few exceptions)
>more weird shit. frankly we just need more weird shit in skyrim. i wanna see funny in jokes or weird things that add depth. there is no scamp serving drinks or a sheogorath cultist that only meows. no woman on the side of the road who fell in love with the rogue that robbed her and begs me to reunite them. i want more intentionally weird things. no necrophiliac saying “im not a necrophiliac BUT what is the punishment if you were one lol”. no town based off of lovecraft’s work in the middle of nowhere. the elder scrolls series used to have SO MANY weird things in it and frankly those were the best parts.
>the blades should be introduced later. I think, as annoying as it might be, you should only be contacted by Delphine when you have enough reputation in the world. she’s supposed to be a cautious woman. why leave a note like that in a random tomb and then have you do a test AFTER revealing she’s a blade basically. she holds the key to moving forward, only after you do various tasks for her that you then realize only after the fact was gathering up various blades members who are in hiding. i know the network is being hunted down, but i think there should be more than like. 2. give us some people pretending to be crazy skooma junkies, or people who have integrated themselves into various jarls’ courts. she seems like a random innkeeper with a penchant for archaeology and might have secrets of the dragons you’re looking for, asking you to deliver mail in exchange for some information, but in reality you’re contacting her allies she hasn’t been able to speak with out of fear because by this point she thinks you won’t be killed by the thalmor very easily or are a plant for them.
>breaking into the thalmor embassy should just be redone or have multiple ways of going about it tbh. i can also be the most stealthy person alive literally invisible yet the thalmor just fucking know i am a spy and they have captured my accomplice so it doesnt matter if i hack and slash my way out of there or not. so it just feels like a lazy way of trying to be interesting while giving you basically nothing they couldnt have done another way. all you learn is esbern is alive and the thalmor have manipulated ulfric against his will for their own agenda and dont know shit about dragons. why would they EVEN KNOW ABOUT THE DRAGONS I DONT GET IT. it doesnt make the thamlor seem more intimidating, doesn’t teach us anything about their goals, nothing.
>furthermore the blades’ motivations and history should be told more clearly. after the septims they basically refused to directly serve the emperor apparently. but their spy network was still there for 170 years???? they still served in the army???? why do the thalmor wanna hunt them down if they don’t seem to like the current empire either. i know its to fuck over the empire and tie them in like previous games but the blades were already a cool intelligence gathering faction living covertly among the people to monitor various powers for the benefit of the empire and emperor. if they are a threat to the thalmor still, why have them have a fall from grace prior to this? why are they even still working for the empire? if anything they should have been using this dynasty’s imperial family as puppet rulers after the whole oblivion gates thing. see above: even if the thalmor have been hunting them i find it hard to believe there are only fucking 2 left. the blades were pervasive in the empire. most having been wiped out doesnt leave only 2 left. there should be more. enough to give them weight.
>redo the mages guild entirely. and most faction guild questlines but ESPECIALLY mages guild. bring back needing a staff. rising in ranks bc you had to do things for the guild and work at it and level up your skills. how am i archmage when i know like 5 spells? what??? i also think there should be more outposts for the college across skyrim. “but the nords hate magic” well having more mages around would certainly show that more wouldn’t it???? have there be tension still. random mages hating being assigned outside the college bc nords are assholes. preferring places close to the border or solitude where they are less in the heartland of nord pride. there being shut down mages guild buildings in some areas left abandoned.
>bigger guilds. bigger towns. i dont need daggerfall sized cities but at least oblivion or morrowind sizes. yknow. just bigger. i feel like we were allowed stuff like guild outposts bc of the town sizes. whiterun does not feel like a hub of trade. its rarely even mentioned despite it being a key point of the civil war both sides want for that reason.
>more settlements and places. vvardenfell is smaller than skyrim. why is there more shit to do. more places to be with more variety and interest. fix that too
>civil war needs to be redone in the fact there is frankly nothing to do. use the camps and outposts. have us clear out bandits to make a new base. negotiate trade. escort caravans that carry supply. take out smuggling operations. spy on the other side using their armor. we have bits of this with taking out agents and stealing papers but i want More. also ideally have different play-styles incorporated into it like you can be an archer, or steal and gather intelligence, or even just different ways to solve the same problems. maybe you threaten someone selling supplies to the other side, or kill them, or destroy their business, or convince them not to. you burn enemy fields so their troops have less food in a really fucked up battle system, or you can refuse those orders if you find them morally repugnant and either get punished for it or have to find a work around through another commanding officer who gives you an alternative. consciously make the choice to just follow orders or think through your actions and refuse. war is ugly and some sides will do anything to win. wouldnt it be interesting to fight dirty one playthrough and the next choose to try and only fight fair and just?
>i know some characters must die because the plot has demanded it. but frankly i feel it is overused sometimes. mages guild, companions, etc. you are promoted bc everyone else died or whatever. can i save them even if i like them as characters? no. nothing i can do can change that for them, even if them being alive could very well be possible and interesting. exception to this is the woman abt to be murdered in markarth when you walk in. why CANT i save skjor if i am fast enough. why cant my choices effect if the arch mage dies or not. it doesnt matter what i do or how fast i do it, they die, so whats the point of trying to do it different ways or try harder. see above for how you always get caught along with your accomplice when breaking into the embassy. it just robs the player of agency. their choices, performance, play style, and skills don’t matter. they will always be arbitrarily rewarded or punished in the linear narrative the devs have decided to make things as simple as possible bc every day people cant make choices and think things through or accept consequences of their actions they might have to live with. they cant want to craft their own narrative, it needs to be as simple as possible, people only like simple things.
if i think of more i can add more but most of these things have core issues behind them that i think if addressed could fix large swaths of issues.
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bug4u · 2 years
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I hate when ppl who dont know me assume shit abt me so definitively too. Just yesterday when I was closing down my shift my coworker randomly asked if Ive done any presentations in my classes at uni yet and the question was so weirdly worded and out of place so I was like uhhh…. no cus my first year was literally all online but before I could even finish he was like it’s Okay I know u dont talk to ppl so I know u probably dont talk a lot during presentations or anything public speaking related 😊. And then he went on and on about how I should try being more open with people and extroverted and Im like……… ur saying all this u dont even know me 😭😭😭 u dont know me outside this corporate setting Im sorry I dont talk to everyone at this temporary summer warehouse job outside the break room but I rly dont find the need to be buddy buddy with a bunch of middle aged men like Ill say hello and smile to u and ask how ur day is going what more do u want from me.
He was talking to me like Im a child and that I was a naive person who needed educating on what the real world was like and it was soooooo fucking disparaging cus that’s the type of shit Ive always been subjected to since forever. Like I know asshole I grew up in the world too I know what it’s like okay???? He was like do u know what linkedin is? you know that nowadays a degree isnt enough and that connections and a network r very valuable?? Like yeah Im 19 😭. Idk maybe he had good intentions but the tone and cadence in which he was talking to me were so annoying and he kept cutting me off so I jusr gave up. And like idk it’s been bothering me all day idk what it is about me in general that attracts annoying extroverted people with a saviour complex that always undermine other people and make senseless accusations and pass that off as fact. Like theyll say “they’ve figured me out” and say it in a way that I should be happy they did. Im like prone to attracting people who want someone to belittle and Im sickk of it man.
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echoesofadream · 1 year
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y are u deleting ur posts so quickly !!! I was gonna say idk if u saw but I said something similar earlier today, I was so happy to find out minghao doesnt rlly say I love you to his mom who he loves very much and talks to all the time, I wasnt sure how chinese culture is about it well I still am not but I know HE isnt a love u guy so im soo relieved because lmao I do Not say it and actually it disgusted me when my ex said he loved me like fucking CRINGE yucky yuck yuck
Help you caught me. I regret like 90% of the things i say and in real life i cant delete it sadly but here i can!! I always wish i shut up more but humans need someone to talk to…even just the void..and when ive typed it out and posted it ive gotten it out of me and can delete it and be over with it like who cares no one.
Yes i think i saw you said that he was uncomfortable about saying ily or smth. And i totally get this like its literally so crazy to say out loud. I can love someone with all my heart but even telling that same person that i like them is hard. I can say positive things about other people but i think im afraid of coming off too strong cause i love people and humanity so much and i want to shower people with love but ppl dont want it from me. I guess thats kind of the opposite of what you said heh. God i hate when i say things and it seems like im saying them for pity im not im just saying how it is for me its so annoying. But yes im like yoongi when he screams like a cat when people get emotional in my presence. I be like holy shit what are you doing!!! people who have words of affirmation as their love language live on a different planet than me. I like acts of services because its so subtle and literally is like doing something for someone because you love them without making it fucking cringe and awkward and also has a point and purpose isnt just empty words. I love acts of services it makes the world go around its everything. I could probably live in total silence
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jeankirstein4ever · 3 years
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hihi i hope you're doing well! can i get a matchup the gender doesnt really matter. i use he/they prns btw.
personality categories (idk what to call them) scorpio, intp 5w4, chaotic neutral, and my hogwarts house is slytherin if that matters.
Im a pretty introverted person and will only talk to ppl that i am friends with, even then if we arent really good friends i still wont talk to you unless you spark conversation because i dont like bothering ppl. My sense of humor is mostly sarcastic and dirty. Im also mean as a joke but, i only am to ppl i know who are comfortable with it bc i dont want ppl to genuinely be hurt by anything i say (making ppl uncomfortable/annoyed is my worst fear ngl). i have random burst of energy which usually makes me rant about literally any topic i can come up with. some bad things about my personality tho is i do have a lot of self doubt. its not that i hate myself i just believe that ill never live up to other ppls expectations. its also hard for me to believe someone actually enjoys my presence.
some of my hobbies are dancing, watching anime, gaming, and watching random science vids that pop up on my youtube recommended.
I look for humor and intelligence in a partner. especially humor because i dont take things seriously unless its something im interested in or its a serious issue. also intelligence because i like ranting about things and getting good feedback and thought provoking responses/questions whether the topic is serious or not, and understanding because i will admit im not the easiest person to be with.
my love language is mostly physical touch
im black, 5'3, have short ear length hair (i keep them it in mini twist), im curvy, have sharper features on my face, and have dark skin
random stuff: my fav music genres are alternative rock, rap, hyper pop, r&b, and kpop. my current favorite song is Pretty little birds by SZA and not allowed by TV girl. i also used to do ballet and i love it so much
Aot Matchups
A/n I love these so much, thank you for your ask
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I match you with Levi
Levi and you are an all or nothing relationship, the second you two start dating it's all-consuming and absolutely everything
Levi was never one for affection of any kind let alone physical but when you sat down and talked about the things that made you feel loved he made sure to try and incorporate physical affection even in the smallest forms.
After a little while into your guys relationship when you started getting a bit more comfortable you started giving him little kisses on the forehead which he loved more than anything else in the world.
Before missions he would always pull you aside into his office before hugging your for dear life while muttering sweet nothings in your ear, “I love you, you know that right? You mean the world to me, if anything happens I need you to know that.”
When you got injured on a mission, he lost all self-control, this man is a killing machine on a good day but when he thought you were gone the world deserved to burn. Every titan he came across was slaughtered in a matter of seconds.
On the other hand when he found out you were fine, he fucking broke “I thought you were dead, I-I thought I lost you.”
“Baby, you're never losing me”
PET NAMES, this man will fucking die if you call him “baby” or “honey” he loves it so much.
Levi doesn't like PDA in the slightest but if someone tries to get a little too flirty like Petra (sorry Petra) he will purposely kiss you or wrap his arm around your waist In front of them as long as your comfortable with it.
He loves your dirty jokes, even if they're not the best it'll still earn a grin maybe even a chuckle.
YOUR HAIR, he loves it so much. I can't emphasize how much he loves your hair, it's one of his favorite things about you.
He adores your laugh, the first time her heard it was after his own attempt at a dirty joke causing you to spend a solid five minutes laughing your ass off.
He thought it sounded angelic
Mood board:
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Playlist :
Love song - The Cure
This side of paradise - Coyote Theory
Hate Yourself - TV Girl
When Am I Gonna Lose You - Local Natives
Corduroy Dreams - Rex Orange County
July - Sir Chloe
Always Forever - Cults
Sanctuary - Joji
Alrighty Aphrodite - Peach pit
3005 - Childish Gambino
Love Letter :
Darling, I love you. I cant say enough , nor can I ever get tired of you saying the same. You loved me, I am loved. By you of all people, wonderful angelic you. In case I don't get a chance to tell you this, or in case I don't say it before we leave, you're my everything, all I've ever needed or wanted. I plan on marrying you , maybe not right now but soon. There's a ring in my office drawer, I almost proposed last night. I'm worried that I m moving to fast and somehow every time I get worried, you find a way to reassure me that I'm not. Just as I will always do for you. I don't know if you remember this but the first night you stayed in my room you fell asleep muttering "please don't leave me." Darling there is nothing in this world that could separate me from you. I am with you always and forever.
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sanchoyo · 3 years
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danny phantom 8-13 thoughts! again, under the cut bc I blew through 6 episodes in one go...
-LOVE THE WAY THE GHOST ZONE LOOKS. but theres fucking ghost cops??? ghost jail??? that SUCKS imagine dying and going to jail in your AFTERLIFE. danny going to JAIL WAS NOT something I expected. but seeing all the enemies together and work with danny to bust out. SO ICONIC I love that actually. and the thing about real world stuff acting as ghosts in the ghost zone is very cool.
-'there are some things more important that hunting ghosts!' mrs fenton says, about her husband forgetting their anaversary (FOR THE 18TH YEAR IN A ROW?? CHRIST) and not about, idk, their son clearly freaked out. she didnt even notice he was gone into the ghost zone!!! he might be a bad husband BUT shes not the best mom. they suck and I don't care about their relationship problems I care about these kids. danny doing his best to clean the house to keep his mom from getting mad at his dad?? hes such a good boy I want to cry, this is not his place, his dad should be cleaning his own shit up!!!
-maddie's butch lesbian sister is living my best life in her lil cabin. also being a snarky bitch to jack. queen. and her getting a 10th anniversary of her divorce. LOVE IT.
-mr. lancer being a cheerleader in his younger years makes perfect sense to me. king shit.
-dr. spectra's cat ears/mullet hairstyle?? sooo cute. I also just love the concept of a ghost just. sucking out people's positivity and feeding on emotions. a great villain. she put danny in a fucking diaper what the FUCK. and keeping it cold so no one would suspect shes a ghost??? INCREDIBLE. and her gay little blob sidekick. wlw mlm evil solidarity.
-JAZZ FOCUSED EP. YEAAAH!!! her first thought when she saw the ghosts was like 'omg i gotta tell danny :)' and her going to the teacher and also councilor trying to get help for him...shes just 16 but shes trying so hard to help him out :( watching this when youre younger I can imagine ppl are like omg annoying!! but watching this when im older im just like :( jazz baby im SO sorry </3 SHE BODIED THAT GHOST THOUGH. and the fact she didnt tell danny she knew surprised me. like, shes patient and waiting on him to tell her when hes ready!! thats so so sweet.
-christ the parents talking about 'PEELING IT LIKE AN ONION. AND EXAMINING REMAINS' of ghosts RIGHT INFRONT OF DANNY.
-'why am i so depressed and angry all the time!!' DANNY YOURE 14. i mean it IS a ghost this time, but...
-579$ top?? VALERIE NO ITS NOT EVEN CUTE IT DOESNT EVEN GO WITH THAT OUTFIT AAAA. tho this ep is called shades of gray..VALERIE FOCUSED EP FINALLY????! *THUNDEROUS APPLAUSE* I already knew about red huntress from my redesigns, but I didn't exactly know what that entails or how/why, so, it's fun to see the Origins.
-ghost pubby! ghost pubby!!!!! why is the dog a ghost?? the implication that the company had guard dogs and got rid of them...what did they DO. is it just the unfinished business?? of not having that toy it was looking for?? god I hope so.
I feel SOOO bad for valerie tho, my god. her friends are shunning her for what, because her dad lost her job and she had to move??? horrible. (and the fact the dog wrecked the moving van too...) I also love how 'from wisconsin' on the package was an IMMEDIATE RED FLAG FOR ME. WISCONSIN=EVIL NOW. vlads so petty.
-it took valerie like 5 mins to get the hang of hunting ghosts and shes already a much bigger threat than his parents tbh. who've been trying and studying this for years. and a more valid reason <3 love her shes so cute and cool. new daughter alert.
-'i should do SOMETHING to help valerie' no shit danny???
-'who is that, awesome outfit!' -top gay sam moments. i was going to say. before it immediately cuts to sam kissing danny LMFAOOO. don't think I like that, it puts tucker in a weird third wheel position... the next ep involves them holding hands and blushing when danny's cold...URGH No. not a fan ngl. the trope of 'if theres a girl in a trio she has to end up with one of the two guys!!'
-right as I say that they take it to extremes!! and ember shoots him with a love ray gun that makes him OBSESSIVE OVER SAM. AND SHE TAKES HIS HANDS AND SAYS 'YOU DONT FEEL THAT WAY ABOUT ME, I DONT FEEL THAT WAY ABOUT YOU' and her saying she doesnt want to be together like this. and tucker saying 'i always knew you two would get together!!' dont manifest it tucker please. the show pushing for it so hard makes me not want it KSHKJKJD I KNOW its probably canon. it sucks though. im a hater.
-vlad just LURKING AROUND THE SCHOOL GIVING VALERIE GIFTS ASJKDHKJ YOU WEIRD PETTY OLD MAN GO HOME!!!
-EMBERRRRR YOU WILL REMEMBERRRRRR . this is the one thing I kinda remember from when I was a kid EMBERRRRR ilu. top 10 cartoon bops. sams being a hater. popular things are popular for a reason. mr. lancer also being a hater. also everyone wearing her color scheme ..its a really good look, the purple, black, and minty color...
-penguins exist in the ghost zone. confirmed.
-EMBER JUST SHOWING UP AT A RANDOM HIGHSCHOOL TO PLAY?? UNANNOUNCED, MID DAY??? girl get a tour schedule. make some money or smth damn. I know shes probably doing it for the power boost but. lord. anyway if your show doesnt have a concert scene/ep, is it even valid.
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-fellas is this gay. (she uses a GRAPPLING HOOK TO SHOOT OUT THE WINDOW AFTER SEEING AN EMBER VAN GO BY RIGHT AFTER THIS SHOT)
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-hey, she had an undercut at some point!! my redesign!!! was accurate!! in..a way
-I feel like danny has a lot of pent up aggression ngl, him being heartbroken about sam and immediately going IM GONNA GO TAKE IT OUT ON EMBER. I mean she needs to be stopped I guess But. jazz has the right idea he needs therapy and a HEALTHY outlet.
-tucker singing > my singing
-girls cant be gamers -tucker and danny sexist moments. her being chaos in the game OWNED.
-TUCKERS HAT IS A BERET??? I THOUGHT IT WAS A BEANIE. SAM CALLED IT A BERET. WH.
-it was actually nice of lancer to let danny retake the test, and he go to play games again. smh. epic cringe gamer moments compilation. and driving him home!!! I actually like him as a character. anyway teachers like lancer are SO appreciated. I was failing middle school because of mental problems, and felt so dumb and got embarrassed by teachers who would just get onto me instead of bothering to ask what the real problem was, but when I was taking my ged classes I had a wonderful teacher who kept reassuring me that I was smart, and I got honors!! danny is SUCH a little shit to him (understandable, 14, but) but seeing them getting along better and danny putting in effort. SO CUTE. THATS MY SON, STUDYING HARD!!!! and being so PROUD OF HIMSELF!!! 91!!! BITCH!!! A- is STILL AN A!!!
-'why dont they ever realize thats me in a dress' mr lancer i am CRYING. i realized.
-technus being my ghost grandpa who cant game asking tucker for help. bless his heart. his out of date old ppl lingo circles back to being endearing <3 tucker not recognizing him despite the like, lack of any kind of serious disguise...I do love their lil in-game outfits....sam being the tank rules. I like technus' spider design also. more characters need to be giant freaky spiders, imo.
-finding your gf a new host because she cant maintain her ghost body outside the zone? amazing. using jazz as the host? ILL KILL YOU. jazz immediately accepting a ride home from a guy she just met and letting him know where she lives. letting him IN THE HOUSE??? nooo girl no lets use common sense </3
-sooo cringe the parents were like 'good job for spying on your sister' tho wtffff. doesnt matter if hes a bad guy, thats fucked. everytime these parents BREATHE im like. these are MY kids now <3
-BAD LUCK BEING A THEME OF THE 13TH EPISODE. thats super fun. johnny 13 being his name is so. iconic. your last name is a NUMBER? also goth tucker. I actually love the look. everyone looks good goth. 'the ladies love the eyeliner and onyx nail polish' sam you are sooo right every man needs to at least try those two things. im a lesbian and I agree. same, danny, your bff is gnc af
-LOVE kitty's design. and just, the concept of a ghost with a bike. couple goals, except yes stay away from jazz.
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icecreamkink · 3 years
Text
so i watched cobra kai all in two days and i have so many -
this show has so many cool and smart angles to it, but the same time.... its so stupid oh my god everyone is so dumb literally mr miyagi held all of the braincells in this whole universe 
like i am but at the same time i am not surprised it was made like this, bc in hindsight of course there were hordes of ppl simping over johnny lawrence ....  but it still amuses me that this is like... an Actual Official Thing
ok this will get long so cut it is
how much fun this cast has is super visible and i love it
i rly enjoy how the world was expanded ! i did grow up watching the karate kid movies, so watching how they progressed the world of the movies so organically was pretty cool. it rly feels like its the same universe
i fucking LOVE stories that are largely about a Thing. dancing ,skating, sports its just so thrilling to experience this all consuming relationship people can have with this type of activity? and martial arts are just that much more intense, so yeah, grown ass men kicking each other around at the lightest provocation and a war veteran caring so much abt teen karate is Ridiculous.... but i love it all because thats the intensity i find so thrilling
was kinda surprised with how much im missing mr. miyagi. first because, like everyone is so unhinged jesus christo, it just really throws into relief how much his character grounded the narrative of the movies. but also hes just a really great character
and on that note it rly Gets Me that the show itself aknowledges that and plays that into daniels angst and all the little ways they sorta weave myiagisms into the whole show........ im not getting emotional over this dumb karate dads show OK
related - i really miss hearing ‘daniel-san’ 🥺🥺
ACE DEGENERATE oh god oh no
they really went down the down and out johnny lawrence route huh. like i was always kinda bummed we see kreese choking him and then we never see him again in the movies, and while i love dumpster fire problematic trash himbo ck johnny, its like......................... actually really sad that his life turned out like this fjngn
everytime i hear ‘babes’ and ‘pussy’ i die a little inside. i know thats the point but i am a v cringe easy person, have mercy (ehe)
loved the way they are constantly drawing parallels between johnny and mr. myiagi of all people. hes the handy man of his building that has a bullied kid asking for help and eventually steps up to teach them karate, beats up a bunch of bullies for him, creates a friendship with said kid, estranged from family, drinks his sorrows away, surprisingly one of the least quick to anger characters (which says more about everyone else really but.... Well.), no schemes or ulterior motives hes just tryna vibe here.... oh and ofc magically heals miguel of is asthma apparently. the true disciple.. meanwhile daniel is his usual messy petty self even tho he wants to be mr myiagi so bad 
also interesting about that is how miguels character is a parallel of both johnny and daniel at the same time
overall the parallels in ck are done really well, drawing comparisons and also subverting them constantly. theyre well thought out
THE PARALELOGRAMS
fr tho, the angle being explicitly the cycle of trauma and its effects and how trumatized adults in turn traumatize kids, maliciously or not, is so interesting
but! on the flip side of that, it feels like the writers are getting in their own way @ letting the characters grow. especially this last season. theres only so many times you can do "johnny and daniel are getting along but 5mins later they are (literally) fighting over some dumbass random issue" or "johnny puts in 20% of effort with robby and then gives up" before it gets on your nerves yknow?
i see daniel no longer talks like macchio ingested 15 shots of espresso before every take and idk how to feel about that tbh
interesting tension in daniel, as in, in tkk mr miyagi was there and daniel was frankly, kind of a lil shit, this messy petty spitfire hot tempered sassy kid,(johnny lawrence voice: just... stop being so annoying) but now hes the adult, and he wants to be mr. miyagi... but hes just not, and never will be to his very core and it shakes him and in a way hes trying to find who he is now that he sees himself in a position to be a not! cobra kai figure. i kinda really like that 
plus how that relates to his cobra kai trauma. idk if the writers thought abt it Like That, i think so, but in any case, its interesting bc it seems like daniel has told everyone whod listen about johnny lawrence his Pretty Boy Karate Rival and high school and 84 cobra kai... But. no one seems to know what went on in 85 (or 86? idk) which was just so much worse
like ye og cobras were shitheads, but tkk iii is just two hours of daniel being emotionally and physically tortured. 
like, the third movie is.............chaotic, to put it nicely, and many people ignore it, but the writers clearly didnt. daniels actions are, in a way, responding so much more to the events of tkk iii than to the first movie ie. johnny himself, AND. daniel doesnt rly seem to have dealt with that trauma? he never told sam? doesnt feel like hes ever told amanda? he doesnt even say terrys name out loud? freaks Out over kreese ? the way he reacts to robbys deceit? his FACE when he walks past the new "fear does not exist in this dojo" paint or kreeses photo? hmMm i sense Pain
his fashion tho........... disappointing. where are the flower shirts daniel huh we had one (1) shirt what a tragedy STOP WEARING SUITS ALL THE TIME . also the band ts/grunge bi are a look for johnny but part of me longs for the preppy lovable 80s bully chic johnny lawrence getups
weird that they never used that last moment of karate kid where johnny kinda... snaps out of his anger and hands daniel the trophy almost in tears. like “youre alright larusso, good match” “thanks a lot”  that being their last direct interection seems like itd be perfect fruit for cobra kai but... they just dont. weird. 
especially when, the FIRST SCENE they see each other, suposedly in 30+ years, the first thing to come out of daniels mouth is QUOTE "u still got those golden locks huh?" WHO SAYS SHIT LIKE THAT DANIEL FUCKING SAN 
also amandas immediate reaction "your pretty boy rival?" like. can we talk about the fact that daniel had to have imparted to his wife the very important information that his high school bully/karate rival was like Really Cute and Fucking Hot Actually
 the writers Knew exactly what they were doing and honestly.............. power to them
tkk director voice: and billy was just so cute  
also I was thinking that daniel sounded strangely fond in that first scene, and i wonder if he developed a weird affection for johnny on the grounds that of all of his Karate Rivals johnny was actually the only one who didn’t actively tried to literally kill him
i was actually delightedly surprised with how great the chemistry between them is, like from the get go i am Invested. their rl friendship totally bleeds through and its fantastic
. granted, idiots enemies to lovers friends is my Thing so i am biased  
johnny lawrence: i am down in the dumps, i fucked up my whole life and my sons probably, largely in light of the trauma that the father figure sensei and the philosophy of my karate inflicted on me and all my friends. u know what i should do, as a traumatized, unreliable mess of an adult? teach that same philosophy to some other kids! what could go wrong! 
but really i enjoy the setup of it. i kinda like that i watched it late because, season 1 was johnny setting himself up for failure in a way and it was exciting to watch it all go to shit sjfn
Like. his heart might be in the right place, but theres just.... not a way to teach something like ‘strike hard, no mercy’ and not have it fuck up a kid 
case and point: aisha, miguel and hawk become annoying as all hell over that bullshit in the end of s1, even before shit gets truly fucked up
billys subtle panicked eyes when he sees hawk and miguel fighting dirty in the all valley was SO GOOD especially in parallel with the panic that is so visible in his face in the movie when kreese tells bobby to injure daniel and in the sweep the leg scene 
seen people question wether kreese should have returned and i absolutely think he needed to. johnny needed to realize that cobra kais fundamentals are flawed, at the root, beyond kreese himself being a toxic piece of shit 
also who are we kidding? we are here to see the tkk characters play on new playgrounds!
i get what they're doing abt kreeses backstory, ( also. cobra kai. pq eles caem nas cobras djjs sorry) but did it need to take up that much time? feels like they couldve  done it in half the run time and developed some other stories better 
martin kove has such an evil eye. i love it
love that we get a good follow up to kreese breaks johnnys trophy and tries to CHOKE HIM in the parking lot, which happened in the movie and then....................... was never mentioned again
“the gang is all back together again” aaaa u piece of SHIT 
also. terry silver is definetely appearing ha ha ha PAIN i cant wait
seen ppl say kreese was too much of a cartoon villain like..........................oh......... sweetie........... u dont even Know
interested how johnny will fit into that bc kreese was simping rly hard for johnny here. like i did not expect him to be so adamant to have him with cobra kai ... under his control, sure, but he really wants johnny by his side despite already having control of the dojo and how will terry silver self appointed jon kreeses forever simp going to feel abt that? 
like bitchs dropping by every episode like ‘joooooohnny ..... come bacc to me joooonny......... this ur last warning! for real this time johnny! i wont say it again! watch me ! im leaving johnny! im rly leaving ! im dragging a chair” and johnny is just like. dont let the door hit ya bitch it was so funny pls
and on that subject oof, johnny! doesnt! Know! he doesnt get that side of daniels cobra kai trauma. and i kind of.............. cannot wait for ck 2021 johnny lawrence to meet terry silver like. what a shit show i need a front row seat and popcorn (imagine terry tries some greasy charm and johnny just roundhouse kicks him in the teeth bc he just doest Not Have the Patience for This. glorious)
feels like we, as a society, should acknowledge that cobra kai will never die................ bc their sense of design is just chefs kiss. their name is COBRA KAI. they have sexie sleeveless black gis. theyve sneks. colorful leather jackets with embroided naja insignia, the get ppl thru the aesthetics. evil geniuses
the flashback cuts : masterpiece behavior
the other takes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! of the movie!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! the differente angles!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! of the FIGHT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THE CLOSE UP ON JOHNNYS FACE AT THE KICK 
that scene of daniel and johnny vibing to 80s music in the car. just. oh my god. the fan wish fullfilment. no thoughts head empty.
the new characters! theyre .... good. but. idk. i really like miguel (save for the annoying phase mid s1 - end s2) and amanda, who is a damn riot and has some functioning braincells, but everyone else is       
like dont get me wrong, i dont hate anyone,its not a jane and rafael from jtv situation,  and i am interested and invested in their arcs, but i wouldnt say i like   Like them, as in, personality wise 
like, sams grappling with ptsd was rly gutting and i enjoyed that plus her slight rage issues, 
which nicely parallel torys rage issues. torys background is all over the place tho so im pretty on the fence abt her so far
robby deserves better in every way, and i like how smart and cunning and surprisingly sweet he is
hawk............... is there i guess,
 demetri is annoying in the best way possible,
 carmen is sweet but. i just feel like her character is blunted to make the johnny relationship easier. like when shes furious with him after miguels injury but then forgives him like an episode later? and then convinces him to fight for the tournament bc she had a karate epiphany off screen even tho she was always against it? meh. feels like with the plot thiccening she was swallowed and now shes like a crutch for johnny mora than anything, which is disappointing.
aisha was cool and im kinda mad she wasnt in s3, especially bc a storyline with her tory and sam was like RIGHT THERE , but also... cant say i was super super fond of her... doesnt feel like we ever spent enough time on her
moon the bi icon, 
overall its a good cast but the main draw for me remains the og cast 
the tory/sam miguel/robby Thing. enjoy how theyre Narrative Foils and i like how their stories were so dramatically entangled but oh god give me a break with the teenage love square for the love of god. if u gonna put us through that at least have the decency to not make it so straight
and honestly some sam/tory        miguel/robby romantic tension would even make more sense. just saying! 
also im not sure how i feel abt the cobra kai: red miyagi do: blue theyre going with since some of daniels most iconic looks in tkk are also red. like it was a color they (johnny and him) sorta shared. i get it, opposite but complementary but idk... a little too fire nation and water tribe for me .
 and like the cobra kai kids are so funny abt it bc their outifts grow progressively more ridiculously coordinated. its like do they group chat every morning before leaving their houses? 
robby still sticks out like that tho. he went thru an athleisure/daniel san tsleeves phase and now hes back in the bandts grunge, but his color scheme doesnt fully blend with the other cobra kais. hmmmm.
LOVED LOVED LOVED both the okinawa episode and the cobra kais easy rider episode just such good good heart aching fun
bobby is an icon. he was in tkk and he is now ck hope appears more and more
 tommy is like the most iconic background character. all his lines, freaking gold then and now. sigh :( 
the framing in the okinawa trip was so good everything was so good
i stand by the fact that kumiko was the love interest daniel had the most chemistry with and shes is overall such a joy to watch, loved to see her again, idola, fashion icon
also tkk ii is good u guys are just mean
also really enjoyed chozens role in the episode, his evolution; i love that they introduced the pressure points (ty lee the blueprint) and! the honk + karate! cousins! absolutely iconic
when kumiko reads mr miyagis letters........ oh my god, my eyes FILLED with tears, it was so heart wrenching :(( tamlyns delivery was so emotional and lovely and its so obvious everyone involved in ck has so much love and respect for pat morita and mr miyagi as character, and i adore that it exists like this electric current through the show
when we were watching i told my sister i thought that ali would be miguels big shot surgeon and ngl i am so disappointed that didnt happen. hire me cobra kai writers
also the johnny ali daniel amanda chemistry? off the charts
AND the sassy retconning of daniel and alis breakup! LMAO ‘I HOPE U DIDNT TELL MR MIYAGI IT WAS MY FAULT’ HFDJJGNKFKSD
i am preeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeetty sure back injuries dont work like that    but oke
daniel and johnny are so good together whenever, like they never actually help the kids or get shit done and end up fighting anyway but its just so much fun when theyre hanging
JOHNNY LAWRENCE AND DANIEL LARUSSO FIGHTING TOGETHER
daniels “plan” on how to get robby to juvie was so stupid. literally were u TRYING to make him hate you. dumbass
parents at those hearing rly brave for ppl that did not do ANYTHING as their kids got involved in a karate gang war until now
“bullshit i heard u were the real bully!” i mightve screeched
this s3 ending was SO DRAMATIC omg
everyone is such a MESS go to THERAPY u unhinged motherfckers
also im sorry but uh. a richass neighborhood in california doesnt have some type of neighborhood watch? the larussos rly dont have any security at all? neighbors wont hear the sound of a damn karate brawl happening next door??? also wasnt tory all like ooo i cant go to juvie, my mom yada yada yet shes always running around town getting into fights even at the rich girls house she was kicked out of school for fighting??   ?  ??    ??        ?                ?    ?          ??                  ?    ? girl??
stop destroying the larussos house, its so pretty :((((
sam finding her center looking at mr miyagis picture...  uwu maybe
robby yelling ‘U ARE WEAAK’@  johnny \as he is easily blocking him is like.... so funny and so sad to me. sweetheart. 
also i know it was meant as ‘oh johnny pushes him and HURTS HIM’ but it just looks like robby runs himself into the lockers and IM SO SORRY I FEEL SO BAD BUT IT WAS SO FUNNY 
i like that he and tory are the cobra kai kids now. we need ppl we care abt there to not revert to a good vs evil schtick, and this is the most engaging it could be... tho it hurts that these kids cant catch a break
ah yes "lets bet some real shit on the result of this teen karate tournament bc that is always a great idea" is BACK
so daniel saves johnny from kreese..... maybe johnny will save him from terry 🧐
and dojos unite ohohoho. lets SEE how that’ll work out 
miguels face of Despair when the ck defectors and the md kids are bickering like 'this is never gonna work' : gold
also. Johnny Lawrence is gonna learn some myiagi-do karate AHAAHSJAKDFH
 ive been waiting for this moment all my lifeeee oh lawrd 
final thoughts! there are def things i hope the writers will improve on the next season, but i am very excited for it either way AND i feel like it has made me enjoy the movies even more and that is a win for a reboot/sequel to me!!
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kendrixtermina · 4 years
Text
The “Genocidal Edelgard” Shallowtake
I was not going to make a post about this because it’s most likely futile and not going to convince anyone nor do I believe in dinifying the purity police with attention, but maybe it will let some ppl know that they dont have to let themselves be shamed for liking the wrong video game character
Whatever might have been the case in the distant past when Nemesis was around, by the “present day” the Nabateans are not at all some commonly oppressed stereotyped minority - the setting is chock full of characters that fit that bill a lot better like Dedue or Cyril. Characters that are ordinary humans not magic dragons. 
And even that is more founded on general purpose xenophobia than from the specific, relatively new early modernity construct of racism. (the dedue situation probably comes the closest)
Sure, Seteth and Flays have to hide from their old enemy the Agarthans, I see how some might find that relatable etc. but most of the population isn’t aware that they exist at all. They hold high status positions, are worshipped by the local religion and Rhea all but rules the entire continent (and says so herself to Byleth in that speech about how she was just “ruling this wayward country in your stead”, “you” being Sothis) - though that is mostly Rhea’s doing of which Seteth and Flayn are relatively innocent. 
The interviews pretty much confirmed that the Nabateans constituted the local aristocracy and that many humans genuinely saw the Elites as liberators - though there was definitely also an element of ppl going around killing random Nabateans to gain superpowers, not to speak of Nemesis’ very obvious very unambiguous mass murder. Not wanting to be ruled over by foreign powers is understandable, though obviously killing them all down to the last civilian was just flat out evil - its certainly not a simple situation, we can all agtree Nemesis & the Agarthans were evil but there is no clear defined good guy. 
There are historical conflicts you could compare this to, perhaps some conflicts in Africa or the middle eastwhere different groups took turns being the ruling class after the latest war,  but it’s not at all like the modern USA or early modernity colonialism, and forcing every real or, in this case, imagined scenario inherently dependent of fantasy elements, into this one framework from the present or near past isn’t conductive to understanding at all. 
And in the present day, by the time Edelgard is alive, we are talking about three specific people that she has good reason to dislike individually. Not any sort of group at all. 
She calls Rhea a cruel beast because that’s all she’s ever seen Rhea to be. She’s the shadow tyrant who rules her world, who created the crappy world Edelgard grew up in. It’s no different Cubans thiking badly of the castros after suffering through famines - or, no need for such extreme examples really, ppl call their least favorite politicians monsters all the time. 
She’s wrong to assume that Seteth & Flayn are wholly on board with this, but on the other hand, it’s not at all a far-fetched assumption to make: They hold high positions in the church though they ostensimbly just appreared out of nowhere one day. Do you have to be an evil bigot to assume that the brother and right hand man to the tyrannical god-queen is condoning & supporting her actions?
The truth is of course that underneath her pseudo-parental facade Rhea is sort of a scared girl, very lonely, very afraid, and ashamed, in a shallow, childish way, for “breaking the rules” just because they are rules. She says she can’t trust anyone, that she feels lonely & isolated... and while no one can blame her for distrusting humans after the slaughter of her people, but the reason she can’t trust Seteth is that she’s keeping her bad deeds secret from him. He wasn’t there the whole time, he just showed up a few decades earlier. 
She sees herself only as filling out for Sothis and doesn’t quite grasp that she’s in charge, very much a follower personality bent on stasis & regularity. 
Is Edelgard obliged to try & unravel the complex psychology of the tyrant who rules her home to correctly deduce why she would deceive even her own family? By all intents and purposes, Edelgard is the one getting rid of an oppressive government that doesn’t let ordinary humans let a say at all. A government where ppl of others faiths and nationalities are typically oppressed unless they work directly for the church.
It’s like having a disdain for, say, Ivanka Trump. She holds a high position in her father’s administration despite having no obvious qualifications, she appears to be profiting & making bank from her father’s atrocities, she certainly hasn’t done anything to stop him or disavow him the way that, say, her cousin Mary did - if you suffered under Trump’s regime you’d be very justified in assuming that Invanka is probably a bad person.
Flayn only looks young (She might not if we saw her in other clothes). I mean, Kronya could badly impersonate a schoolgirl. At the very least they’ve supported the regime by refusing to question their own side and they show some however benevolent belief that it is their duty to “guide” the people. Leaving her to the Agarthans is certainly questionable, but no more so than doing it with Rhea herself, under the assumption that she’s guilty and that it’s a sacrifice that will prevent larger chaos. The agarthans had their plan long before they created Edelgard as we know her, and she couldn’t stop their plots all on her own. 
You could say that it’s callous, distasteful or a deal breaker - as the death knight is her direct subordinate & she makes a personal appearance in mask, I would argue that she definitely knew & sanctioned the kidnapping - but she’s no more callous towards Flayn than towards anybody else. 
Of course, that doesn’t mean they’re evil, or that they deserve to die.... and Edelgard would agree with me.  She doing all this to prevent death – flipping the lever on the trolley problem so it crushes one person instead of five so to speak. She always gives her enemies the chance to surrender, unwilling allies the chance to leave, and jails enemies whenever leaving them alive wouldn‘t lead to further death… even the ones she has the most personal reason to hate, like the PM.
As servants of the church who have chosed to back her enemies, she’ll certainly kill them if she has to, but not any more than any other enemy. At no point anywhere in the story does she say anything like that they need to die on principle. Nowhere at all. Indeed there is much evidence to the contrary.
The church paints her as being completely against the religion or even wanting to set herself up as a satanic godess cause it‘s good politics & they don‘t get what she‘s doing – to an extent her own credibility & messaging is compromised by her secretive and at times unscrupulous actions, no one said she was perfect. In truth all she wants is to have the church out of politics, you know, what we have in nearly every modern country outside the vatican and saudi arabia.
You can absolutely let Flayn & Seteth go on CF and there is no word, no fuss about it anywhere. No „make sure to kill em all“ which would certainly be there if the narrative wanted to portray Edelgard that way. It requires the mediation of Byleth as someone they would talk to & not immediately assume the worst of, but, they see the church as the embodymet of all that is good & fighting its enemies as their sacred duty so of course it wouldn‘t be possible for just anyone to talk them down. It‘s framed as Flayn letting Byleth go cause they saved her life once, even if we know from behind the screen that she wasn‘t going to survive a fight to the death against the player-controlled faction.
Heck, even when it comes to Rhea, the one most guilty that Edelgard has the most reason to loathe, she‘s ultimately surprisingly gracious. She gives her the option to surrender – and this is not a lie, she discusses this with Byleth in a lecture question, and seriously ponders the possibility. Here Byleth gets a range of options like „stab her in the back“ and „keep the church under imperial control“ but you know which one nets you the support points? „Strip her of her authority so she can‘t interfere in politics“. She wasn‘t gonna mess with the religious folks & their religion at all, just make it so it‘s separate from government. Rhea could even keep being pope, if she could be satisfied without having complete supreme authority (and ripping her precious artifact out of Byleth‘s chest) – even when she puts her down she‘s not 100% without pity, telling her that „Your duty is done“ (the translators mucked this up)
Couldn‘t be any further from „lets kill them all on principle“.
What really annoys me is how ppl go and twist everything Edelgard says out of context to ascribe a motive to her that just isn’t there.
Common examples:
„If you have Flayn or Seteth fight her she‘ll say they need to die because they‘re nabateans“
Actually what she says is this: „You are a child of the godess. You must not have power over the people!“ Not getting to be privileges rulers anymore =/= being opressed. Stay out of politics =/= Diediedie. Also, this is from the VW/SS boss fight, where they have literally come to get her in her own capital.
„Linhard & Leonie don‘t tell her & hubert about Indech, probably cause he expects that she‘ll go & kill him„
What he actually says is: „Lake Teutates is a place that concerns the saints of the Church of Seiros. It may become bothersome should the two of them find out...“
„It may be bothersome“ as in, „we might get in trouble“, for doing the possibly very inadvisable thing of waltzing into what could possibly be an enemy location to satisfy personal curiosity. If it‘s something related to her agenda she might take over and Linny wouldn‘t get to investigate as he pleases – at very most you might construe it as Linny fearing that they‘ll be accused of consorting with the enemy, but „bothersome“ suggest possible annoyance not imminent murder.
The whole scene ends with Linhard telling Byleth to fill her in later. Doesn‘t sound at all like he expects her to go back with a harpoon.
„She said Claude isn‘t fit to be a ruler cause he‘s a foreigner“
What she actually says: „I understand your ideals are not so far removed from my own. But without knowledge of Fodlan‘s history, I cannot entrust its rule to you“
Now without the additional contexts that Claude won‘t get until after the fight, it might easily feel a bit like the former with the raw spots he‘d have from his backstory, but what she means is that he‘s ignorant of the Agarthan threat – which he is. Edelgard is all for making peace with Almyra and sees fostering isolationism & prejudice as one of the many faults of the church.
Once Claude basically kills Edelgard for information, he winds up having to take care of the storm she had been holding back. But to his credit, he DID „finish the job“ and get the info. But he didn‘t have it at that point.
And I don‘t mean any of this in the least bit as a diss of Claude - He is the smartest character, so there would be no plot if he got easy access to the info.  At this point, they both think they can probably do better, and more importantly, both their backstories have made them so that they won‘t let down their guard far enough to cooperate in this scenario.
That‘s also why the outcome in CF is contingent on Byleth‘s choice. - You‘d sort of have to trust that he will also act so as to minimize casualties.
Very disingenious since many players wouldn‘t necessarily trigger these dialogues.
I guess because Adrestia got a vaguely central-european aesthetic (partially; all the countries are hodgepodge mashups and there’s more than enough spanish or ancient roman vibes there) and central europe existed only for those 12 years of tyranny I guess, even though many other places have had similar BS happening, including the US that delights in making craptons of movies about their faraway victory because their governments haven’t added much of value to the planet as of late. -.- 
Faerghus (vaguely french/ russian - not at all places where nothing bad happened ever) has actually annexed some territory from their northern neighbors in the recent past, not to speak of the whole Duscur atrocity - but no one seems to go around laying that at Dimitri’s feet, because it would be nonsensical - he was a child at the time and as an individual he is super against it and champions a policy of reconcilliation if he gets to rule. after all, there wouldn’t be much of a plot if the characters inherited three perfect faultless problem free countries. 
Edelgard, too, is completely against the previous administration under Duke Aegir (which was in charge during the Bridgid war). She deposed him and is plotting to do the same with Arundel once she can politically afford to do so. For all that one can understand why she would chose the other path  (depending on how much she knows about what Edelgard’s doing and why) it makes all the sense in the world for Petra to support her on CF or if not recruited, because again, she got rid of that previous administration. 
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Makoto plot line by Lêx?
thank you for this totally 100% spontaneous ask that you sent of your own free will, anon!
okay, so here's the thing. i dont like makoto. not really. he's annoying af and basically useless. bitch does nothing but hide behind haru cuz he's scared of everything and be blushy and soft in that spineless way, you know? like he just lets everyone push him around and treats everyone in such an unfuriatingly uniform, fake-cheery, ultra helpful way that it's his whole personality
but here's the thing! it gets sad. you know? especially considering how he, like, seems to basically live to enable haru? in all the worst ways. like it's nice of course that he helps haru with his depression but there's a point when it becomes enabling and that point is when makoto is running after haru all the time trying to solve his messes, remind him of his own damn responsibilities, and basically take care of haru's whole life so he doesn't have to. again, helping is good, but by worrying about the things haru doesn't worry about and preventing him from facing the consequences of not doing anything basically lmao he enables haru to never fucking get out of his constant stupor. also, as previously said, he's spineless, which means that he never truly goes against haru's wishes. so like. enabler. bad
which is my main beef with makoharu, which is actually the most popular ship in the fandom because ppl have no taste and also dont know how to interpret shit. tho tbh even makoharu shippers are like "i ship makoharu because makoto deserves to be happy and he wants haru!" so even they acknowledge that.... haru isn't into him lmao. but anyway
point is: they pull each other back. im not gonna say it's abusive or something cuz i don't think it is, i wouldn't even call it toxic, but it's stale in the worst kind of way. makoto enables not only haruka's depression, but also his self destructive and to some extent relationships destructive behavior, setting his growth back. and makoto lives and exists to take care of haru. he has no dreams, no goals, hell, not even INTERESTS. his whole thing is just. haru. where haru goes, he follows. and. that's it basically
which is why the fact that so many makoto stans ship makoharu is also baffling to me, because if i were a makoto fan, i'd probably hate haru, lmao. i mean, makoto is going around doing all this work for him, plus emotional labor, and haru never gives him much back really. and it's obvious that haru doesn't like makoto the same way makoto likes him, but makoto is just out there taking whatever scraps he can get, and haru just sort of. probably doesn't even notice cuz that's been their dynamic since they were kids. and makoto knows that, too. so like. if i stanned makoto. id fucking hate haru for that tbh
and honestly it's bad writing because i think the writers couldn't care less about makoto lmao and also didn't know what to do with him, which i think becomes increasingly obvious as seasons go by and he's just sort of. there. they tried to give him his own plotlines and even dreams but it never stuck. he feels like a doll most of the time. even in s1, which was widely rinharu-focused and barely had any other characters have real plotlines unless you count the one (1) episode where they try to teach rei how to swim, makoto was particularly uninteresting and underexplored and developed. like, the other characters might not have had huge importance but at least they had personalities. makoto didn't, really, unless you count "mama henning haru" and "being uwu" as a personality
but my point is: what if makoto got some real writing? what if we explored his character, and his relationship with haru, in a more critical, dimensional way?
makoto is in love with haru, i think that's indisputable. haru isn't in love with makoto, which i also think is indisputable. makoto himself knows that what haru has with rin is special and beyond what makoto and haru have, he says that, he even says that he was jealous of rin. yet he stays. even when rin comes back, and haru and rin become friends again, and it's obvious they're going to be together, makoto stays. he takes care of haru, which is some pretty damn stressful work, and does all this emotional labor for him, and haru barely gives him, like, a smile every once in a while, lmao, and again it's sad. but makoto stays. and - that's an important part to me - it doesn't seem to be because he has any hopes that haru will come around. so why
i think they're stuck in a loop, and that makoto has been in love with haru, and being not only his emotional support, but basically the one thread connecting him with the outside world (while simultaneously enabling him to continue as detached from it as he can, because he's not bringing haru out to the world, he's bringing the world to accommodate haru) for so long, he doesn't really know what else to do. also, he feels guilty about leaving haru to his own devices, even if obviously there's nothing he can do if haru won't help himself. also, he's scared of losing him, because he's been defining himself for his relationship with haru for so long, he doesn't know where else to go
i think that's supported by his relationship with other characters. like i said, makoto is annoyingly kind to everyone (if im not mistaken, the name makoto actually does mean kind) and a MASSIVE pushover. he never goes against anyone's wishes. he never really throws in what he wants. he doesn't really interfere with anyone's plans and ideas, he just sorta makes it happen. he is never annoyed, never has any quirks, is never even like, tired, you know? he lives to please other people, to the point where he has no personality, interests, or wishes beyond that
so, yeah: i think makoto is scared that, if he doesn't please other people, there's nothing else left for him. and in a way, he is right, because i don't think he would know what to do with himself if he had to look into himself and figure out what he wants out of life. so it's easier to follow others and dedicate himself to them. also, fear of loneliness is very valid, even if i dont think any of his friends would actually leave him if he weren't being their damn mom all the time. but they also let it happen, especially haru, because it's convenient, and again, homeboy barely has the energy to go to school, much less help makoto unpack all of that
but if i were writing free!, id want to explore that, because it has so much potential to be a pretty damn rich story, actually. especially as the story progresses, because one effect of rin being back and haru running the whole swimming club and trying to prepare for their race is that haru needs makoto less and less as time goes by. because he has a motivation. he cares about his grades because if he doesn't keep them up he won't be allowed to keep working in the swimming club, he cares about teaching the newbie (the rei i mentioned before) how to swim because otherwise they won't be able to run against rin in the medley race, hell, he reforms the whole entire pool that was abandoned so they have a place to train (with help, but like, he couldnt be bothered with getting up to school before). he even goes back to drawing so he can make pamphlets to attract more people to the club
and then he finds his love for swimming again, especially as a team, competitively. he finds his love for people again, for human interaction, for competition and the thrill of the sport he loves. haru finds his motivation, and he starts putting his life back on track and working towards his goals, and haru is damn capable. and that means that makoto has a lot of free time in his hands now, and haru is slipping through them, and he knows he can't really keep their relationship as he was. and he shouldn't, honestly, and i think that he's, at least, smart enough to know this
and he has a crisis, because again, he's been defining himself through haru for the longest goddamn time, im talking all the way from middle to high school here. and he doesn't know who he is. he doesn't know what he wants. he barely knows what he likes
but he's not alone either, because again, makoto is haru's best friend, and haru does like him and it's not like he's all "i found my purpose with rin now. peace out". his journey was also about finding his whole support system with his friends. through relearning how to swim in a team, he also relearned human connection and friendship. that's one of the many beauties of rinharu. they inspired each other to make their lives better, including in ways that have nothing to do with each other, and they weren't even trying to
so he has haru, but in a now radically different dynamic, and also rei and nagisa (his teammates) and gou (rin's sister and also their trainer) (rin and gou don't go to the same school for some reason). and everyone is going through a similar crisis, because it's the last year of high school. rin obviously has known that he wants to be an athlete since he was a kid, but everyone else's plans are kinda sketchy. makoto just happens to have some extra flavor in that mission - he's not just trying to figure out what he wants to do, but who he is
and fuck if i know how that would develop from there, but id really love to see makoto finding himself, honestly. i want to see his issues being addressed. the only backstory we have for him is that he's afraid of the ocean because he almost drowned at some point? i dont remember. i want to know why the fuck he's been repressing his own needs and personality so hard. i want to know what had him so scared of the world that it was easier to forget about himself and basically live through haru. i want to know what he's going to do to find himself, and the very, very painful journey of looking at himself and his own needs, and, in many ways, his own emptiness, because makoto essentially carved himself hollow. i want makoto to have dimension and depth, and be relatable and not just a dumb shell of uwuness for ppl to swoon over and want to protecc, not even because i like him, but because it could be so interesting. and relatable in so many ways. like, god damn it. if you wanna make him one of the main characters, give him a real plotline!
and i want to see him finding out that his life is better when he's a little more detached from haru and not living in an endless pursuit of a relationship, but having a network of people he loves and that has mutual support. i want to see him getting over haru, not so he can have some other romance with someone else, but so he can grow. makoto basically doesn't grow at all the whole show, and it's sad to watch, especially as everyone else grows so much
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yaboyspodcastpalace · 3 years
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📓!!!!!!!
[send me a 📓 and I'll explain the plot of a fic i daydream about!!]
:D!!! i was originally gonna write down a petermart im writing but ive talked enough abt that one so Here:
au where peter doesnt die at the end of seaosn 4 but instead loses 1. one of his eyes (fr some reason idk) 2. his connection to the lonely and 3. his entire inheritance and finding himself godless and penniless he goes to the few people that actually like him (taddeas??? eh, simon? bit of his money problem is solved but not on the long run, mikaele... Well.) and ends up crashing at mikaele's place
(there was originally a reason why he knew mikaele was alive but i cannot remember rn)
i dont particularly have a plot beyond:
1. hey wouldnt it be funny if peter went to live w/ mikaele somewhere lovely and like neighbors like mikaele bc hes nice but they're So Very Curious abt his... friend.... boyfriend...? house mate....? who looks like a shitty vampire... also peter like needs Actual Food and sleep and all those pesky human things to live that he never thought abt since he was a kid??? mikaele?? how do you live like this??? how do you live w/o the lull of a god and breaking the fabric of reality for yur own purposes and also how do you cook? also potentially mikaele being like my dear old friend im gonna get you a fucking hobby
2. so, the apocalypse happens, and between the long drive from where they lived to that mansion he has in s5 there's a LOT of peter seeing the different domains in the distance and being SO annoyed bc those were supposed to be his, mikaele, he was supposed to have a place there (if not THE central role if gertrude hasn't ruined his ritual)
2.1. mikaele and annabelle and peter shenanigans. annabelle and peter hate each other but they both like mikaele and so sometimes he'd be playing the piano and they'd both appear at different entrance of the room and just hover there waiting for the other to get out so they can sit somewhere close. This amuses mikaele to no end, and also hes glad hes got more ppl to care abt (he misses his crew)
2.2. mikaele and peter and Martin shenanigans once he and jon arrive. and by shenanigans i mean once martin realises peters not only Alive and There but also doesnt have any power whatsoever he decks him, and mikaele just calmly sits at the side like "@ to peter you probably deserved that, but @ martin please dont hurt him too bad, im quite fond of him, you'd understand".
2.2.1. obsessed with the idea of peter learning that martin has a domain and being so conflicted about it... both of them... hhh petermart lonely moments at the end of the world, imagine(!!!!!!!!!!!)
3. uuuuuuuuuuuh honestly i think a lot about the painting of mikaele's personality and the ghosts that haunt him via statements and the man we finally see in s5 and i KNOW in s5 he lies about stuff n puts on part of an act I KNOW it... maybe i want to see how their relationship changes once peter cant feed of such and mikaele cant bask on the cold etc etc!! when all the benefits of his monsterhood are gone and all thats left is two lonely men and their complicated love!
4. it has an open yet hopeful ending bc im a cheesy motherfucker and i love Love :') peter doesnt want to die Again despite the less than ideal ways of living and he doesnt want mikaele to die, also again, so like.......... i dont know, annabelle is smart, she's got ways to do a dramatic reveal w/o the camera, maybe not as glamorous but whatever! when she leaves she wants to leave quietly so they dont notice but mikaele does and gives her a big ol hug bc literally all his friendships ended with a flash, he has no idea if annabelle is going to die or what so just, hug. Annabelle hugs back kinda awkwardly due to not being used to it but still appreciates it. Fambly.......... (peter stays inside bc he doesnt care abt her, plus mikaele has enough warmth for the both of them)
4.1. i think a lot abt mikaele going to rescue his former crew from the domains bc he CARES ABT THEM... GDI... maybe thats what they do at the end... who knows not me...
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autumn-foxfire · 4 years
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I cant escape the idea that the people who are so vocally calling for villains to be heroes and for heroes to be punished and dismantled are basiclly coming into a candy store and asking to buy steak. Like i saw people before say that they dont like heroes because they are pig cops (or something similar implying they arent allowed or even feel guilty for liking them) n all of this really seemed to have caught fire during the start of what is happening in america.
And then people, for some reason i cannot imagine, turned to this japanese manga for teens and asked 'why arent you adressing the present issues in america?'
Like what
Im not american and while im not sayin killer cops are distinctly american problem i am saying its a problem very pronounced in america, more so than in some other countries. Like i dont know what the state of police is in japan but you can hardly count on it being the exact same as america and therefor for horikoshi to be informed and worry about this issue enough to include it in his manga for japanese teens. Like??? Im sure there are plenty of black american authors who have books out there that would be much more suited to fufiling that need then A Random Dude From Japan. I understand that during these time ppl will look for literature that will comfort and reafirm their view of the world and that will give them some kind of catarsis that they cant yet get in real life but....that aint gonna be a japanese manga.
Honestly this all just feels like that whole self centered american things combined with readers who throw a fit when a writer doesnt make their headcanons canon and im tired of it all. Fam its litteraly not that deep.
I understand wanting best for ur favs and i understand being upset over bad things happening to them but i feel there is a difference between that and reading the text completely wrong and then raging about it.
Like 'damn i love shiggy its so hard to watch him be brutalized, go you beautiful bastard destroy everything!' VS 'Shigaraki is a revolutionist that wants to bring a better society and deku and especially horikoshi himself personally are corrupted and bootlickers from trying to stop him'
One is rooting for ur fav n is perfectly fine n the other...i dont even know what to call it
PS: im really sorry you have to read through my spelling mistake plagued writing sgdfdf english is not my first and mobile doesnt mark up my typos but unlike desktop lets me rant without sending 50 individual messeges
Exactly!
There are tons of different types of media that probably tackle social issues like the ones currently being seen in America so I don’t know why the fandom is trying to demand a Japanese manga for teenage boys to adress them as well, honestly it comes across as very entitled.
This fandom is so frustrating too because they get upset when people try to point out that the heroes in BNHA aren’t the same as real life corrupt cops (and also don’t seem to get the hint that comparing them is actually pretty offensive as well) or say you’re a bootlicker for supporting your favourite characters and their choices, all because they happen to go against their favs.
They take supporting their favourite characters too a different and almost unhealthy level. By bringing in social issues and arguments of “fiction affects reality” (it does, just not in the way many in fandom seems to think it does), they then have to find ways to excuse their own favourites who can be pretty horrible characters (in the sense that they’re the bad guys, not that they’re bad characters). They’ve dug themselves into a hole and are now desperately trying to claw their way out by trying to throw people who support heroes into the pit.
Apparently the days where you can appreciate a villainous character for being a villain are gone. Which is annoying because Horikoshi went out of his way to show that while the League may have some points, their actions speak against them.
I wonder if these people are tired to be focused on social issues twenty-four/seven? It just sounds so draining to do, especially when I personally use BNHA for escapism.
(Also don’t worry about your spelling mistakes, I promise I probably didn’t notice them and even if I did, I probably have even worse spelling and mistakes so I don’t really care when I see them XD)
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akechicrimes · 4 years
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Prompt 37? Futaba and Akechi platonic/Futago siblings?
37. “Follow me. It’s okay, just hold my hand.”
after akira leaves tokyo, futaba does just fine without her key item, except for when she doesnt.
(one of them AUs were goro survives the engine room and rejoins the phantom thieves. no i will not explain. persona 5 canon AND persona 5 royal do not interact. for reference in this universe futaba and akechi are half siblings but only akechi knows that)
*
“Next time you see me, I’ll be a whole new person,” Futaba tells Akira excitedly on his second-to-last day in Tokyo. “I’m going back to school, I’m out and about by myself—oh! Oh! Did I tell you I said yes to Kosei? I told Kosei I wanted to go to Shujin and they offered me scholarship! And I went to the subway station by myself yesterday!”
They’re crammed into Akira’s Leblanc attic, sitting around a cake that literally none of them were capable of baking themselves, so they’d bought the thing from a bakery and decorated it with little black and red hearts. Ryuji is passing around his gross soda, while Ann is recounting some story that doesn’t matter with incredible enthusiasm. Makoto looks like she’s determined to enjoy herself and will hear no argument.
The whole thing is incredibly morbid, if you ask Futaba. It feels less like they’re waiting for Akira to leave Tokyo and more like they’re attending Akira’s funeral. Akechi in particular looks like he’s regretting attending, which honestly tickles Futaba more than it should, that the most dishonest Phantom Thief seems to be the only one looking as honestly put-off by the entire affair as everyone else is determined not to be.
That’s everyone else’s problem. Futaba might not be happy Akira has to leave, but she’s proud. She’s sad that Akira has to leave, but also she promised Akira that by the time that he had to leave, she’d be able to get around on her own, without clinging to him for support. And she is able. She kept her promise.
Tomorrow might be the day that Akira has to go, but today is the day that Futaba is Officially Recovered.
Akira does that annoying thing he does where he puts his hand on her head and messes up all her hair, like he’s a human cat showing affection by pissing everyone off. Futaba yelps. “Look at you. You don’t need me at all.”
“I told you that I’d be ready to say goodbye by the time you had to go back to your hometown,” says Futaba. “I haven’t broken my promises yet, have I?”
There’s a burst of laughter from Haru over something Yusuke said, who looks rather surprised to discover that he said anything funny. Both Makoto and Akechi snicker at him, and then stop immediately to glare at each other the second they realize they’ve accidentally wound up sharing an opinion.
Akira ignores them. “Well, you can still text me if you need me. Or call.”
“I’m trying to tell you I’m getting better and I don’t need you,” Futaba grumbles. “Also, what kind of psychopath do you think I am to call someone on the phone?”
“That’s what phones are for.”
“Calling people is scary.”
“I thought you were getting better?” Akira teases.
“I am!” she says, pointing a finger at him. “I am! Just you watch, Akira. I’m getting better every day.”
*
Six months after joining Kosei, Futaba locks herself in her room and does not reemerge for seven days straight.
*
She tells Sojiro that she’s sick. Sojiro tells the school that Futaba told him that she’s sick. She definitely fakes a hell of a good cough, and the school lets Yusuke send her her all the homework that she was supposed to be doing in the first place, but Futaba already knows it’s only a matter of time before Sojiro rats on her, and she won’t even blame him because it’ll be for her own good.
In the meantime, she has stashes of crackers and peanut butter from back when she was a full-time hermit. She hates the taste of peanut butter within three days. Her bed is a relief, soft like a home she never left, up until it isn’t anymore. It’s too soft. No matter how she lies on it, no matter how soft it is, a mattress just isn’t comfortable when you’ve been lying on it for seventy-four hours. It’s hot. Smothering. She feels like she’s going to drown in the blankets and they’ll have to fish her moldy, sweaty corpse out of the bottomless quicksand pit of her too-soft mattress.
The thing about being a shut-in is that you don’t actually like your room very much. It’s not a relief, or an oasis, or even a place you enjoy. You’re just terrified of everywhere else more.
She plays a lot of video games that she doesn’t even like. She watches a lot of Twitch streamers she doesn’t even like. She doesn’t do her homework. She ignores Sojiro. She pretends she’s alright to everyone who texts. She wakes up and goes to sleep and thinks about going outside and goes to sleep and wakes up and wonders if the whole last year and her cautious baby steps back into the world outside was all just a hazy dream.
*
There aren’t a lot of Thieves left in Tokyo, weirdly. Haru and Makoto both graduated, off doing business and law junk that honestly makes Futaba’s brains want to crawl out her ears, but all the numbers check out and Haru’s not in the red yet, and Futaba’s looked at enough people’s dirty laundry to appreciate Haru’s clean ledger. Akira’s back in his dinky hicktown, where there’s barely anything electronic connected to Wifi worth breaking into for surveillance, which is really boring.
Ann’s been doing so many modeling gigs that she might as well not be attending Shujin anymore. She’s practically surrounded by electronics, and all of them are connected to the internet. On any given day, Futaba can snoop through the internet trail of electronic file cabinets full of images of her face, emails about her face, paychecks for her face. Futaba sends Ann more than one email about creepy old dudes making gross comments about her, along with a bunch of other illegal shit they’ve done, plus their offshore accounts full of cash if Ann wants Futaba to sic a lawyer on them.
Ann looks like she’s having fun. Ann looks different on the other side of the computer screen, like she’s less real. Like she’s not someone Futaba really knows. Like Ann’s not someone Futaba’s literally cried on at one point in her life.
Ryuji is definitely attending Shujin, but between physical therapy, catching up on a whole year of track, athletic scholarship hunting, and studying for college admissions tests, Ryuji seems to have been swallowed whole by Shujin, really. Out of boredom, one day, Futaba went down that rabbit hole of researching what it takes to get recruited for track in college, and holy shit–apparently Ryuji’s coach was supposed to be helping him with that whole process, but of course Ryuji barely has a proper coach ever since Kamoshida left Shujin’s track program in pieces. The amount of networking he’s doing is insane, especially for one teenaged boy who barely remembers his homework every night.
Sometimes, when Ryuji’s forgotten to check his email in a while and there’s a message from a coach sitting in his inbox, Futaba will send him a text to make him check it. And then it’s all, What were you doing looking at my emails, Futaba and Which of my other passwords do you know, Futaba, as if Ryuji doesn’t just use the same password over and over and has literally nobody but himself to blame.
So it’s really just Futaba, Yusuke, and–weirdly–Akechi, who’s off doing his gap year and said he was going to go abroad, but then he never did. Not to be a huge snoop, but Futaba went digging through his junk for about five seconds and then she never did it again, because she felt really weird about finding out that the guy that killed her mom is looking into social work, volunteerism, and reforming the justice system.
Like. The man who killed the Thieves’ leader is now literally out there saving orphans. It’s wild.
She might’ve been the one to tell Akechi that he can start over again and do better, but she reserves the right to at least feel weird about it.
She does not call Akira. She talks to Yusuke at school, but she refuses to ask him to accompany her on the subway. She should be recovered by now, shouldn’t she? She was supposed to have gotten over all that when Akira left Tokyo. She’s doing fine. She’s just looking out for her friends. Her, living vicariously through her friends, who’re growing up and growing away, flourishing into young adults? Never.
*
Everything is the same.
*
Didn’t she help kill a god last year?
Didn’t she work so hard to get out of her room, to make friends, to reconnect with Kana-chan?
Didn’t she work so hard to change herself?
Didn’t she help change the world?
*
Everything is the same.
*
Tuesday, 1:43 PM
YUSUKE: Futaba?
FUTABA: yo inari
FUTABA: u got more homework for me or what
YUSUKE: Ah, no.
YUSUKE: I think your teacher finds it suspicious that I’m sending you homework when I’m not in your grade, as it is.
FUTABA: oh no
FUTABA: what a shame that we didn’t have an entire year of experience with getting away with wildly illegal magic brain crimes without raising any suspicion
FUTABA: truly emailing me like four pieces of paper a day is far too difficult
YUSUKE: Well, I can’t get your homework from your teacher, but I can give you more homework if you’d like.
FUTABA: ok bucko that wasn’t a challenge
YUSUKE: There’s a math problem set that’s been incredibly dull to get through when I have more important pieces I could be working on…
FUTABA: inari im sorry to say but
FUTABA: me literally doing your homework for you is about a thousand times more illegal than you giving me my homework when ur not in my grade
YUSUKE: Oh, is it?
FUTABA: wh
FUTABA: are y
FUTABA: what do you mean OH IS IT
FUTABA: did you not KNOW ur not allowed to have other ppl do ur hw????
FUTABA: inari have u been making other people do ur hw for u so u can have more time to do art?????????
FUTABA: no shut up i dont want to know
FUTABA: i will not be ur accomplice
FUTABA: i see ur little speech bubble thingamajig yusuke i said stop typing forever and ever
YUSUKE: I can’t invite you to the art gallery tomorrow if I can’t type.
YUSUKE: It also seems impractical for you to outlaw me from texting forever.
FUTABA: i literally did not say that
YUSUKE: You said, and I quote,
YUSUKE: “Yusuke, I said stop typing forever and ever.”
FUTABA: ok i know it looks like i said that but please im begging u it’s literally just an exaggeration
YUSUKE: As Makoto would say, it’s hardly an enforceable law.
FUTABA: u literally texted my sick and crusty ass just to give me a hard time
YUSUKE: Are you about recovered from your cold?
FUTABA: and now u have the nerve to ask me to go to ur art show thing
YUSUKE: I didn’t say that.
FUTABA: oh really
FUTABA: what were u gonna ask me about then
YUSUKE: The art show, naturally.
YUSUKE: But you could have done me the courtesy of letting me ask.
FUTABA: all that on the day of my daughter’s wedding and now u want me to do u a solid
FUTABA: well i have news for u
FUTABA: the answer
FUTABA: is yeah
FUTABA: sure why not
YUSUKE: Oh, excellent.
YUSUKE: I thought that you might decline on account of your illness.
FUTABA: i’m not a punk bitch
FUTABA: i’m going
FUTABA: u were only working all those paintings for like two months i wanna see their oily faces in person
YUSUKE: Just because they were made with oil paints does not mean that they are oily.
FUTABA: cant wait to see my oily boys
YUSUKE: Unfortunately, I have to set up the event beforehand, so I will not be able to accompany you on the way here.
YUSUKE: Will you be alright by yourself?
FUTABA: uh
FUTABA: hmm
FUTABA: how oily are these boys in case i need to call a rain check
YUSUKE: Hmm.
YUSUKE: Perhaps someone else can go with you.
YUSUKE: Let me see if I can find someone.
FUTABA: what like one of ur art friends
FUTABA: i’m not going with anyone i dont know sry
YUSUKE: I’ll keep it in mind.
Tuesday, 1:59 PM
YUSUKE: Unfortunately, Ann and Ryuji were not available. Both of them will be coming late to the art show.
YUSUKE: Fortunately, Goro is.
FUTABA: whomst
YUSUKE: Goro Akechi?
YUSUKE: Crow, in case you know multiple Goro Akechis.
FUTABA: no like why u callin him goro
YUSUKE: I asked him if I could and he said yes.
YUSUKE: There’s not many people left in Tokyo who were part of the Thieves.
YUSUKE: I’m not exactly popular at school myself, so I thought it prudent to hold onto the connections I already had.
FUTABA: hhhhhhhhhhhhh
FUTABA: but why him……………………………………….
YUSUKE: Has he done something wrong?
YUSUKE: Well.
YUSUKE: Besides the obvious.
YUSUKE: Last I heard, you were quite vocally supportive of Goro making a change for the better,but have you prehaps reconsidered?
FUTABA: i mean he’s always been nice to me
FUTABA: like even before he was on the team as crow
FUTABA: and then later after he like lost his shit and tried to kill us
FUTABA: he was also like weirdly nice
FUTABA: even if he was dressed as a tokusatsu villain
FUTABA: but
FUTABA: i
FUTABA: ok this is gonna sound really weird but like
FUTABA: you know how i said that the person to take me to the art show has to be someone that i know
YUSUKE: Yes.
FUTABA: even though akechi was one of the thieves at the end
FUTABA: i feel like i dont really know him
FUTABA: he like had that whole breakdown where he spilled all his kylo ren sadstuck junk and then he peeled his dumb ass up off the floor and then we beat up his dad in a dark alley
FUTABA: and then i guess akira likes him a bunch and hangs out with him and i guess probably talked to him about all that stuff that happened
FUTABA: and also i think ann talks to him
FUTABA: and also haru i think for some reason……………………..
FUTABA: but like i feel like. we as a group. never really uhhhhhhh
FUTABA: got to know him very well i guess
FUTABA: because he spent like the whole year being a fake ass bitch
FUTABA: and then by the time he wasnt, the thieves were busy literally fighting god, and it was all business business business
FUTABA: ughghfhg i guess this is just a really long way of saying that like yeah ok i guess i do know him but i dont think i really do
FUTABA: even when he was off the shits in the engine room it was like
FUTABA: somehow that was not……………………………….. really him
FUTABA: idk maybe this is just my Thoughts but like
FUTABA: idk some people are like “your true self is who you are at your worst” and
FUTABA: yeah maybe you are some PART of urself when youre at your worst but like
FUTABA: also not???
FUTABA: that can’t be it
FUTABA: that’s not ALL of you
FUTABA: so all i ever saw was him when he was being a fake ass barbie prince and then when he was like actively losing his shit
FUTABA: and both of those were like. two types of fake ass barbie prince
FUTABA: except obviously the one where he started screamin about murder and trying to kill joker was like, fake ass serial killer barbie prince
FUTABA: anyway i dont buy it for a second that seeing akechi at his worst means that i know the first thing about his “”“”“”“”“true self”“”“”“”“”“”“
FUTABA: like i know that i technically met him but also at the same time i dont think ive ever really actually met this dude
FUTABA: uh tldr what’s the truth crowboy
FUTABA: second tldr do you got anyone else i can go to the art show with because im not unpackin all that junk in the trunk while also trying to fend off a panic attack in the subway
YUSUKE: Well, to speak to "what’s the truth, crowboy,” I’d say he’s actually really funny.
FUTABA: WHAT
YUSUKE: Yes, actually.
FUTABA: YOU TRYNA TELL ME YOU SHARE A SENSE OF HUMOR W AKECHI
YUSUKE: As everyone knows, I don’t have a sense of humor.
YUSUKE: But if I did, that might not be inaccurate to say.
YUSUKE: Either way, we could ask Boss if he’ll take you to school.
FUTABA: no
FUTABA: im not makin him shut down leblanc for the day just cause i cant get my shit together
FUTABA: and i go to school by myself all the time now i dont need to be walked there by my dad like a four yr old
FUTABA: r u sure u dont have anyone else who can take me
YUSUKE: You said it had to be someone you know.
YUSUKE: I can take you.
YUSUKE: But I’ll be getting to Kosei early to prepare.
FUTABA: how early is early
YUSUKE: Four in the morning.
FUTABA: PLEASE INARI
YUSUKE: The people you know is a quite limited pool, Futaba.
FUTABA: shut the hell ur face i dont need u tellin me to make kosei friends too
FUTABA: i get my butt to school every day i’m already a hero
FUTABA: ok alright
FUTABA: crow-san it is
FUTABA: hhh
FUTABA: no shut up stop typing i’m fine
FUTABA: i already saw his dumb ass get inflicted with Horny from Yaldy God Himself i ain’t afraid of no crows
FUTABA: actually now that i remember that that was pretty funny mwehehehehehehe
FUTABA: OKAY send me the who what when where why
YUSUKE: There’s a PDF flier. I’ll send it to you.
YUSUKE: But I will have to type the email to send it to you.
FUTABA: oh my GOD inari
FUTABA: i swear to god ur not actually this dense and youre just pretending u dont know what an exaggeration is just to drive me up the wall
YUSUKE: Oh, that is a possibility, isn’t it?
FUTABA: WH
YUSUKE: Ah, last period is starting. I’ll have to talk to you later.
FUTABA: WHAT
FUTABA: NO WAIT
FUTABA: HELLO????
FUTABA: YUSUKE NO COME BACK
Tuesday, 2:53 PM
FUTABA: YUSUKE HAVE YOU BEEN MAKING AKECHI DO UR HW FOR U SO YOU CAN DO MORE ART??
FUTABA: IS THAT WHY UR ON A FIRST NAME BASIS W HIM
FUTABA: ANSWER ME STRINGBEAN
*
In Futaba’s opinion, there’s an infinite amount of more embarrassing reasons to pull yourself out of your depression pit than “I needed to yell at my friend for being a snotty bastard,“ and there’s worse escorts to have than the weird guy who went from being a professional murderer to their weird awkward friend. Firstly, if there’s anything that can motivate Futaba Sakura, it’s the primal urge to dunk on her friends for spite and memes. Secondly, there’s no chance in hell Futaba’s going to have a breakdown in front of Akechi.
She can do this. She got herself out of this grave once; she can do it again. Even if Akira isn’t here. She’s getting better. She promised him.
On the eighth day of her almost-return to hermithood, Akechi texts her:
AKECHI: I’m here.
AKECHI: Are you ready to go?
Futaba is wearing only an old shirt, no bra, sweats, and vaguely greasy hair from all the showers she’s skipped.
FUTABA: i’m SO ready
FUTABA: the readiest
FUTABA: ultra mega super ready
FUTABA: featherman ranger code name Ready
AKECHI: Oh.
AKECHI: Alright.
Hell yes alright. Time for Futaba to save her own life from her gravesite of a room.
With… Goro Akechi. Wow, life is weird, huh?
She drags on her Kosei uniform like a skin discarded long ago. It feels stiff. Maybe because it feels wrong to wear school clothes like a functioning human; maybe because she just hasn’t washed it in a week. The very idea of explaining herself to Sojiro stresses her out, so she doesn’t do it. The idea of not explaining herself to Sojiro, when he deserves an explanation and also would probably have a heart attack if he realized that she’d disappeared from her room without his knowing, also stresses her out, so she still doesn’t explain herself to Sojiro.
I told Akira I’m better now. I can do this. I did this for more than six months. I was out of my room in the real world, I went to the school festival, I changed my own heart…
She creeps down the stairs like a thief in her own house and pokes her head out the door. Goro Akechi is fiddling with his phone in the sun outside her house, looking like he, too, has only just managed to pull on his Human Suit and look like a guy who didn’t make shadows beg for mercy for fun, so it looks like this whole expedition is going to be a lot of fun.
"Futaba-chan?” says Akechi, only just noticing her lurking in her own doorway. “It’s been a while since we last saw each other. How are you?”
Futaba opens her mouth. No noise comes out.
Akechi’s eyebrows slowly begin to knit together.
“I’m good,” she says squeakily. Clears her throat. Holy shit, she’s not afraid of Akechi after all that junk they went through in the Metaverse. She saw him as a rat. She saw him visibly want to break his father’s face when Shido tried to apologize to him on live TV. Once, Makoto and Akechi got into an unironic, passionate, hour-long argument about whether or not it’s beneficial to color code your notes.
“I’m alright!” Futaba announces louder, maybe a little loudly, considering the way he looks only more concerned. “L-Let’s hurry up and get this sidequest over with!”
She pulls her hoodie over her head and jams her hands into the pockets and makes herself as small as possible and inches out of the doorway. “If you… say so,” says Akechi, and eventually matches her incredibly slow pace as she shuffles her way towards the main street.
When the noise of Yongen-Jaya’s street hits her, her heart rate (already high as hell) spikes even higher like the first day she’d come out of her room, but the old coping mechanisms come back like second nature: Breathe slower, avoid eye contact, remember her mission, stick to the sides of the streets. Breathe slower. She’s still got it. It’s still hard, but she’s got a whole arsenal of ways to deal. She can do this. She will kick Yusuke’s ass for being a dick, if only out of sheer spite.
If Akira were here, I could hide behind him and…
No, shut up, shut up. All she has is her hoodie and Goro Akechi. Akira’s not here. She can do this by herself.
Akechi makes precisely two attempts at small talk (“How has Kosei been?” “Have you seen the pieces Yusuke submitted to the art show before?”) before he realizes that Futaba isn’t going to respond by virtue of barely holding onto her shit by her fingernails. He shuts up and sticks close by. Futaba makes her way down the streets towards the subway like walking on a tightrope. The subway station isn’t busy, but she puts every step in front of her like she’s going to fall. Getting on the subway might as well be a highwire. Futaba and Akechi wait for the train in mutual silence to the sound of other commuters murmuring amongst themselves, like a toothless echo of Mementos’s depths.
When they get on the train, people around her are quiet, thank god, but all of a sudden she’s convinced that she smells because she hasn’t taken a shower in literal days, and she tries to pack herself into her seat as tightly as possible. The guy in front of her is scrolling through something at a ferocious pace and his thumbnail keeps hitting the screen with this incessant clack, clack, clack noise. The subway voice announces their next station as the doors begin to close, and a girl suddenly sits bolt upright, having realized that this is her station after all, and bangs Futaba’s knees hard as she passes. Futaba wants to curl her legs to her chest, but she’s wearing Kosei’s uniform skirt and it’d just make everyone stare at her if she did that on the subway. She curls her fingers into the skirt hem. She stares down at her knees and lets her hair drape around her like a curtain. She can do this. She can do this. Breathe slower. Even slower. I did this for more than six months, I told Akira I’m better now, I changed my own heart…
Akechi pulls out his phone. Futaba’s phone buzzes.
AKECHI: Are you alright?
FUTABA: i said i was ready dude
Akechi types and retypes an answer, which technically Futaba could just look over his arm and read, but instead Futaba flips through apps on her phone and pulls up a shitty mobile dungeon crawler. She dies four times before Akechi puts his phone away without sending anything.
They pass multiple stations like that. Futaba sure as hell hopes that Akechi’s watching which station they’re on, because she isn’t. After the millionth time she dies, Futaba just closes the app altogether. Concentration’s shot. Can’t focus on anything. Heartbeat’s too loud. Breathing’s too loud. The guy next to her is breathing too loud. Everything is too loud.
New text:
AKECHI: Yusuke said you’d recovered from your cold, but you still look a little unwell.
Futaba doesn’t respond to that. She doesn’t need Negative Nancy over here telling her she’s gonna crack. Because she isn’t gonna. The subway starts to slow, and the voice announces the station for Yusuke’s school. She’s literally almost there, she’s right there, she might die in three seconds because her heart is going to pound of her chest but at least she’s going to make it, she promised Akira that she was alright—
The subway doors open. Passengers stand to get off. Akechi stands up. Futaba drops like a rock.
“I can’t,” Futaba’s voice says. She sounds like she’s crying. “I can’t, I can’t do it, I—”
“Futaba—”
“I’m can’t do it, I—”
She buries her face in her knees on the dirty subway floor. Oh, she really is crying. “I’m sorry,” she says, “I’m so sorry, I couldn’t…”
Around her, people’s feet stop moving. They’re staring at her. She’s crying on the subway and everyone is staring at her. “Shh,” says Akechi, like Futaba doesn’t know she’s being a loud and irritating pest, but then he takes off his winter coat and covers her with it. Suddenly everything goes dark. It’s a huge coat, too; it wraps around her whole torso with enough room to spare to cover her entire head. Inside, it’s like she’s back in her room, only listening to the sounds of real life somewhere on the other side of a computer monitor, where it can’t hurt her. It’s so surprising she hiccups to a stop. Two hands pull her up by the shoulders and guide her to stand. “Up. Let’s go.”
“Is she okay?” says a voice.
Futaba’s entire body seizes with fear. She ducks into her own knees, trying to disappear.
“Hey, little girl, are you alright?”
“She’ll be fine,” says Akechi’s friendly, super fake ass barbie prince voice. “My sister just had a hard day. I’m sorry for the inconvenience.”
“A hard day?” Now the stranger’s voice is accusatory.
“For your information, our dog was recently brutally run over in front of her eyes.”
“Young man, are you serious right now?”
“Oh, yes. There was blood everywhere. Its intestines squelched horribly under the tires less than six feet away from her,” Akechi goes on. Futaba chokes, and then hiccups in what she realizes is almost a laugh. “Please excuse her. Thank you.” And before the literal complete stranger can follow up on that awful statement, Akechi takes her hand and pulls her up.
Futaba stumbles to her feet. If she has to take the coat off right now, she will actually die.
“It’s okay. Just hold my hand and follow me.”
Blindly, she lets him lead her out of the subway, weaving through people with only minimal contact with other people’s shoulders. There’s a whole awkward period where Akechi has to walk her up the stairs out of the subway station while she can’t see anything, but eventually the noise and bustle of other people around her seems to die away, and the air grows cooler in the way it does in the shadows between city buildings. Then they stop walking altogether. When Akechi lets go of her hand, she almost tries to grab it back before she catches herself.
“Okay. There’s nobody else around, now. It’s safe.”
Futaba doesn’t come out of the jacket. In the dark, her eyes dart back and forth, trying to see even as she blinds herself.
“Sorry for grabbing you so suddenly like that,” Akechi’s voice goes on after it becomes obvious she’s not going to come out.
Futaba wipes snottily at her own face. Oh, this is so gross, she’s got snot and tears on top of five days worth of grime and body juice because she hadn’t taken a shower. She’s disgusting. She really actually wants to die right now. She can’t show her face like this.
“Er,” says Akechi. “Do you want…. water, or…?”
Futaba folds up right there on the city pavement, probably dragging Akechi’s nice coat all over a dirty alleyway. She tucks her face into her knees, where she feels safest, and pulls the coat flaps even tighter. “I’m sorry.”
“You don’t have to be.”
“I’m sorry for not being okay,” she mumbles.
There’s a short silence. “You really don’t have to be.”
“I do,” Futaba says. She feels like she’s nine years old again, a petulant kid who needs to hold people’s hands and be escorted around Tokyo. “This is—it’s stupid, and I can’t believe I-I’m still doing this, a-and even a-after everything that h-happened last year, I’m still just a… I’m still…”
“It’s fine,” says Akechi. Even he sounds overwhelmed, and at the first sound of weakness, she pulls the coat off her head and glares at him furiously, red-faced and covered in tears and snot and gross depression juice crust and all.
“I’m not supposed to be this way anymore!” she says miserably. “I’m supposed to be better! Moved on! Doing literally a-anything else but crying over t-taking a subway! It’s stupid and nobody else is like this and I just want to be over this already and I just want to be better already and—!“
She covers her face with her hands again. God, even when she says that, it sounds pathetic.
After a moment or two, she hears Akechi moving again. She peeks at him. He’s crouching in almost the exact same pose as her, looking like he’s resigning himself to neither getting his coat back, nor moving from this spot any time soon, nor getting to Yusuke’s art show on time, but also looking archly and entirely unperturbed about it. Actually, it looks like he’s writing a work email on his phone.
Futaba was right about being in an alleyway, but it’s so cold because they’re shielded by a trio of vending machines selling canned coffee and wrapped sandwiches. "Our dog was recently run over?” she says.
“People can mind their own damn business,” says Akechi in his Pleasant Boy Voice, without looking up from his email.
“He was just trying to help.”
“Oh, yes, let’s help the crying girl by crowding her and suffocating her in a crush of public transit.”
Futaba snorts. “That was really mean of you.”
“Oh, absolutely,” says Akechi.
Futaba sucks a truly disgusting gob of snot into her nose. “Ugh. I wish I could’ve seen the guy’s face when you told him that.”
“It was like I’d spat on his shoes. I should’ve kept going. Or had a camera.”
“Futaba giggles wetly into her forearms. "Like one of those—those prank videos online… Get Yusuke to film it.”
“Yusuke, as the cameraman? I’m not trying to make a documentary.” Akechi flips to a different screen on his phone. “I already texted Yusuke about our poor dead dog, by the way, so don’t worry about it.”
Suddenly Futaba feels like literal garbage again. “Why are you always so nice to me?” she mumbles.
Akechi makes a weird face, like he’s trying to do his old Pleasant Boy shtick while having swallowed a lemon whole. “You say that like me being nice is somehow unusual.”
“Uh, yeah. Because it is. You literally were just being a huge asshole to a guy you’d never met over a fictional dog.”
Akechi has this increasingly disgruntled look on his face like he kind of wants to punt Futaba down some stairs, which, frankly, is the best sort of reward, in Futaba’s opinion. “I’m working on it,” he says grumpily.
“How’s that been?” says Futaba.
“Which part?”
Futaba has one whole moment of self reflection on this idea as maybe not a good course of action before she barrels on anyway: “The part where you’re turning your life around. Starting over. Trying again.”
“It sucks dick,” says Akechi.
“Oh, right on,” says Futaba, and then before she can stop herself: “Wait, I thought you liked dick?”
Akechi makes a noise like a strangled cat.
Futaba cackles. “Dude, incognito mode when you’re browsing for porn does not save you from people like me.”
“Have you been spying on me?”
“Uh, yes? Obviously?”
“You know you could get arrested for that sort of breach in privacy.”
“Oh, boo hoo, so sorry I know all about your weird orphan-saving night job and your smutty Featherman doujinshi collection. You’re not gonna narc on me.” Futaba stops. “Are you?”
“Stop looking at my internet history.”
“No. You better not narc on me.”
“Then stop looking at my internet history.”
“You had to google how to change a SIM card last week, crow-boy; you couldn’t stop me if you tried.”
“I will narc on you.”
“No you won’t. You’re the one trying to not be an asshole.”
Akechi makes a face like a cat being slowly submerged in cold water. Futaba laughs in his face.
“If you’re quite done,” says Akechi grouchily.
“No, never. You’re made for being made fun of,” says Futaba. “I’m gonna be making fun of you for years and years, crow-boy; you’re never going to get rid of me.”
“Great.”
“Gonna be creeping on your weird orphan-saving night job until the day you die.”
“Wonderful,” says Akechi without inflection whatsoever.
“Mwehehehehehehehehehe.”
“If you’re quite done.”
“I will take a well-deserved break from my endless duty to troll you both on and offline,” says Futaba. “Because I really really really wanna go to the art show.”
Akechi has the nerve to look relieved that he no longer has to squat in a dirty alleyway listening to a high school freshman bully him. “Then let’s go.”
Futaba hugs her knees tight. “But I wanna keep your coat.”
“Aren’t you wearing your own coat?” says Akechi, trying to look like he isn’t shivering. “Aren’t you getting hot?”
“I’m keeping it.”
“It’s my coat.”
“I’m keeping it.”
“Fine, then. Keep it. It’s dry clean only.”
“Oh, ew. No, take it back, gross, gross,” and Futaba peels the snotty, tear-stained, dirty winter coat off and dumps it back in Akechi’s arms, who looks at it with the expression of someone long-suffering and without hope of escape.
“And,” says Futaba, “I wanna see it if you tell anyone else that our dog got run over.”
Akechi smirks. “You’ll have to film it, then.”
“Oh my god, like I wouldn’t.”
Futaba scrubs her face one last time. She still feels like she’s covered in a grimy layer of slime, but maybe she can wash her face at Kosei. When she gets there. Because she’s gonna get there.
“Uh, one more thing,” says Futaba.
“Not like you’ve bullied me into doing literally everything else you’ve wanted,” says Akechi.
“You can’t laugh at me.”
“Good thing I don’t have a sense of humor,” says Akechi, which horrifyingly confirms to Futaba that Akechi and Yusuke, of all people, really do share a sense of humor.
Futaba hesitates. “Please, um… please don’t tell Akira about this.”
“Why would I tell Akira?“
"Nice. Good answer.” She smooths her hair down, trying to make herself presentable, or just have something to do with her hands. “I… told him I was gonna be okay without him and all that, so… I don’t wanna let him down, you know?”
Slowly, almost shyly, Akechi smiles. “Oh, yes. I know.”
“Our secret. Secret-keepers.”
“Secret-keepers. Are you ready?”
Futaba takes another deep breath. Pushes herself up, brushes herself off, and sighs. “Absolutely not. This is gonna suck so much dick,” says Futaba. “Let’s go anyway.”
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clementineesotsm · 3 years
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THE KING: ETERNAL MONARCH EP 7, My Appreciation and How It Made Me Feel
JTE said “I waited for you as a detective but also as myself all this time” , she decide to confirm to Gon about the evidence she got from LSD case. That it might be coming from Corea. JTE decide to investigate it because two world not suppose to mixed up like this. Just as Nari said earlier it will bring danger also to people close to them. Also JTE know that she has doppelgänger too in Corea. Their conversation was serious here and we can see that Gon is actually scared and worry about JTE safety, but Gon is able to throw a punchline to loose up the tension a bit, i love this kind of personality of him. I feel bitter when Gon said to JTE to do only 2 things for him in exchange of 17 things he need to do for her.
Gon “dont tell me not to come”
Gon “and dont tell me not to leave, im telling you not to be exhausted”
That nod from JTE is 🥺 This words will be important to make me cry a river later in eps 15 . And that piano backsound. Damn
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We got another sight of my boy KSJ past. That he is woking up from a coma and not able to sleep well since because he might thinks somehow something wrong with it
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JTE investigate Lee Rim doppelgänger in Korea and found that entire family was passed away as well. Meanwhile Gon plan to tell JY everything, about why they are here. This conversation between JY and Gon was so underrated, for me this line JY was saying is true and shows how much he care about his king, his friend, and him feeling afraid anf useless
JY “Pyeha, you must return to the palace. I cant protect you here. What is this place, and how long have you been coming here?”
JY “Pyeha, we dont have a life here”
They dont do justice to this scene. I feel like what JY saying here not being highlighted when it is very important what he is saying. “We dont have life here” sentence here for me is very sad. Later Gon explained to him that Lee Rim is alive. And asked JY to stay while Gon back and forth to Corea. Because JY need to kill Lee Rim if he sees him. This is rather gambling, because both doesnt know how is Lee Rim appereance now. But Gon wants JY to check in Korea and Gon check in Corea. Since nobody knew whats up beside them.
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Time stops again and now Gon try to find the meaning of it and come to conclusion that Lee Rim might be going back and forth just the same. One thing i dont like from this scene is they make Gon come to conclusion too fast, and got it right. There is no concrete evidence actually that could make him knew precisely that time stops is Lee Rim using the gate. Maybe Gon is just guessing using his smart brain but i dont like it, i want they show it to the audience more clear evidence. Meanwhile in Lee Rim side its more concrete because he saw a note from the bookstore whenever the King goes and comes back to palace, time stop. Lee Rim then can jump to conclusion because of it. Just my thought. But what i love about the time stops is they always make it so beautiful. And the music. I love how they show the hourglass from the beginning still moving and until it stops while time stops. The hourglass also a symbol of time so its kind of cool.
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Im excited to see LUNA but i remember JTE saying something very important (at least for me) that if you dont pay attention you might miss it
JTE “parallel worlds, same faces, same id card (well 🤓), balance, Where did my new id card dissapear to? Who is keeping the balance?”
I remember while watching it i feel curious and think of what JTE said over again. So who keep the balance?
And finally LUNA. PM come to see her in fromt of prison and got startled because she is the same face of JTE but looks like different person. This is seriously good and actresses were great here especially KGE! I dont see any similarity to JTE at all. Cool.
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How it made me feel:
Long awaited episodes because we see JY meet JES and revelation of the character Luna. The funny scenes and the serious scene blends in very well and i fall in love deeper with all characters and actors acting. Damn they are so good. This episodes was definitely used to build more tension and more revelation for the next episode and i appreciate it. If you dont watch ep 7 you will not going to understand the episode 8. And actually this is the charms of the series as well. As what the actors said from the press conference, this is a series that you will need to stick around following every episodes and pay attention to be able to understand the whole concept and story. Its not like most series that even if you skip 1/2 episodes you will still get whats going on.
Up to this point i dont find any disturbing PPL whatsoever as people said. Its not disturbing the main story anyway so why bother to wrote many hate comment about it? Im still feel bitter to people that leave the series halfway just because they said it has many annoying PPL, for me its kind of an exaggeration.
Anyhow what i need to appreciate more is how i love the consistency of each personality of each character. I think all characters are well written and the actors acted it all very well. This series have one of the most powerfull act that i have seen in a Kdrama. And i watch a lot.
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