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#and my god the soapghost of it all
s0fter-sin · 4 months
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AND I DON’T KNOW WHAT’S GOT ITS TEETH IN ME BUT I’M ABOUT TO BITE BACK IN ANGER
#take me back to eden is so ghost coded it kills me#like im shit at lyric interpretation ill fully admit that but it Screams ghost#‘i spit blood when i wake up sink porcelain stained choking up brain matter and makeup’#‘room feels like a meat freezer i dangle in it like cold cuts’ SCREAMING BITING BITING BITING#its the butcher hanging from a meat hook imagery for me lads i Cant#and my god the soapghost of it all#just ghost lashing out bc he cant understand soaps attention#rejecting his affection and his care bc hes never felt a kind touch without it becoming cruel#and i know we dont acknowledge mw3 but#‘i guess it goes to show does it not? that we've no idea what we've got until we lose it#and no amount of love will keep it around if we don't choose it’#losing johnny being the only thing that snaps him out of it and makes him realise that hes in love with him#‘no amount of self-sought fury will bring back the glory of innocence’ that realisation turning his love inward and fracturing into hate#he couldve been with johnny they couldve been happy together#so he cracks and destroys every enemy he comes across as he hunts down makarov#leaving price and gaz behind as he lets vengeance consume himself#‘i have travelled far beyond the path of reason take me back to eden take me back to eden’#but bc fuck mw3 soap lives and ghost finds him and they live happily ever after#coming out of my cage and ive been doing just fine.txt#ghoap#soapghost#ghostsoap#simon ghost riley#ghost cod#john soap mactavish#soap cod#take me back to eden#we’re a team. ghost team
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wombywoo · 2 months
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retired 🩶
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scattered-winter · 1 year
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lildoodlenoodle · 1 year
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Big Riley and Little Riley, F.t. Soap
I can’t decide if I want Riley to be a little baby or an absolute monster dog, either way tho Price only got her to be the 141’s ESA/therapy dog. Does she have combat and bomb training? Yes. Is Simon her favorite? Also yes. Is Soap jealous of a dog? Most definitely.
Edit: I FORGOT TO DRAW SIMONS FUCKING SCARS
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Waking up next to Johnny, Ghost admits, is a blessing he had not thought himself deserving of.
Or,
Ghost wakes up next to Soap. He's ridiculously soft for the man, but who can blame him when he's that pretty
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redhhound · 1 year
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wanna write a crossover but it'd be the most fucking niche shit ever. GOD.
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aidenlydia · 7 months
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Collection of 09 SoapGhost fics
SFW:
I Will Follow by m1ckstart
Burdens Of Command by m1ckstart
Sleep by Asasin
When I Die by InterGalacticKnight
A Toast To Life And Death by InterGalacticKnight
What Remains by m1ckstart *note: mentions of hooking up, but no explicit scenes
rather waste my time with you by s0fter-sin
Winter fall by callofdudes (part 2)
Around my bed, America by Kabbal (Aledane)
And If I Let Myself Go, I'm the Only One to Blame by softer_sin *note: mentions of hooking up, but no explicit scenes
NSFW with Trans Ghost:
Reverence by SharkNoises
Sunshine enough to spread by MGCraig
You’ve got a pretty kind of dirty face by qwentinsmith
hunger by bravo07
Soft lips are open, them knuckles are pale by bbgrlsimonriley
Fantastic Phantom Feelings by ErlKönig (Herm_own_ninny)
patience is a shitty virtue when it's me getting fucked by you by ErlKönig (Herm_own_ninny)
Oh Captain, My Captain by ErlKönig (Herm_own_ninny)
hush by puppyghost (whinypuppy) *note: this one is 22 but I read it as 09 caus beggars can’t be choosers
when i think about you i touch myself by sghostriley
NSFW:
Stutter by m1ckstart
Venus Flytrap by 6sundragons
Don’t Interfere With a Mans Work by InterGalacticKnight
Yes Sir by InterGalacticKnight
A night in the Afghanistan desert by Hetsez
Morning Pleasures by Asasin
we could do this all night by Torierra
Foxtrot Uniform Charlie Kilo by x_posed_again
gimme just a little bit (more) by applepieces
Hands That Are Softer Than Voices by ultrakombo
In Your Absence by badlifechoices *note: not complete, no explicit content yet
Fed by His God by Azilver
clockwork by NarcissosByThePool
I will update this post whenever I find more <3
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cod-dump · 10 months
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Gaz creates a group chat called “simp squad” with soap Alejandro and Alex and then immediately dips
SECRET SIMP SOCIETY
SoapGhost, AleRudy, FarAlex
___
They were all confused at first, then they noticed the group chat’s name and sighed. Gaz hadn’t stuck around long enough for any of them to say something to him or ask any questions. So, while the dust was still settling, soap chose to break the ice.
Soap: Soooo wanna see the gift Ghost dropped in my lap yesterday?
A month would pass without Gaz hearing anything from the three about the group chat. Everything was normal between him and them when he interacted with them, so he was curious if they actually started talking about their partners with each other. They definitely seemed to be closer knit recently.
Gaz was given the golden opportunity to sneak a peek into the group chat after finding Soap’s phone unattended in the locker room. Gaz knew his code and just couldn’t pass up the chance, so he grabbed the phone and ran. Gaz went straight to his office and made himself comfortable in his chair before he started snooping.
He found the group chat under a different name, “SSS”. When he opened it the messages were mostly Alex talking about a date he was planning for him and Farah. Gaz cackled, they were talking about their partners! He felt smug, satisfied by this. But while he should’ve backed out of the messages, he was curious about what all they had been talking about.
Gaz scrolls to the top of the messages. It started out with pictures of a stuffed animal Ghost had apparently gotten for Soap and it progressed to more causal messaged between the three. Alejandro was constantly sending pictures of Rudy just existing. Then it came up to the group chat name change.
Alejandro: What does SSS stand for?
Soap: Secret Simp Society
Alex: 🤣
Once Gaz got over the meaning behind the group chat name change that could only have been done by Soap, he continued reading. He was deep by this point, obsessed with what his friends had been up to since the group chat’s creation. So he continued reading. He watched the messages involve from them flaunting their partners, talking about every aspect they loved about them—
Then Alex brought up his, in his words, insane experience he had with Farah. Gaz never turned off and dropped a phone so fast before, eyes widened in horror. He lets Soap’s phone lay on his desk as he sat there, processing what he just read. Things had taken an unexpected turn and he now realized that Soap, Alejandro, and Alex were far more comfortable with each other than what Gaz realized.
Gaz would sit there for a unknown period of time, only snapping out of his daze when Soap would walk in.
“Lost my fucking phone- Whoa, you okay- Is that my fucking phone?”
Gaz just picks up the phone and holds it out for Soap, unable to look him in the eye. Soap snatches the phone from him, Gaz could feel the heat from his glare.
“What the fuck, Kyle!? Were you going through my shit!?”
“Trust me, Johnny, when I say that it will never be happening again.”
Soap blinked before opening his phone, quickly finding the messaging app still open. Soap started cackling, seeing what Gaz was reading.
“Oh my god-“
“I did NOT need to know what goes on in Alex and Farah’s bed.”
”That’s what you get for stealing my phone, ya cunt! Do that shit again and I’ll show you the video I took of me and Ghost last night!”
Gaz cringes and Soap laughs harder before leaving. Gaz remained sitting there, unable to think about anything else other than what Alex had said happened, and unable to chase away the thoughts of what potentially happened in the video Soap just mentioned. Gaz shudders, he definitely learned his lesson…
For now.
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captain-mj · 7 months
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Og Soapghost?? Maybe with bottom og Ghost?
I was talking about a god x human au in my discord recently and this felt like the perfect time to use it!
Ghost couldn't feel much in his body anymore. It hurt. He knew that. But it was so distant.
A man forced him forward and he could feel spikes of feelings through his body that were vaguely like pain. Rivulets of blood and sweat went down his body.
They made him kneel. People were speaking, but he couldn't understand over the drugs pumping through his body. It was pounding through him.
Roba stood in front of him. Knife in hand. "May your soul suffer for eternity. You could've avoided this. If you just... listened. " He looked a little sad. "Such a fucking waste."
It was a relief. To die. A moment of nothingness that made all of it disappear. The ache in his body. All the pain. Gone.
Then it hit him. Pain in a way he'd never felt before. Vibrating through his body.
He laughed a little because somehow, still not as bad as his dad.
His body spiraled further down despite it not feeling like he really moved.
Ghost hit something soft and sank down into puddles of fabric. Where they touched his skin, everything was fine. No pain. Not even from his mortal wounds. It was all just okay.
Strangely, he found himself falling asleep. The dead shouldn't sleep, Ghost felt, but he fell into it all the same.
This had been an expected turn of events. Eventually, Ghost was sure that Roba would kill him and go to hell. It felt expected at least.
All of that led to him waking up in a bed though. A bed with such soft sheets Ghost wondered if they were made of pure silk or Egyptian cotton. They ran through his fingers like water.
His skin looked.... clean. After seven months of the only shower he got being from rainwater leaking into his cell, it was... confusing. To not just be clean, but be... pristine. Even his nails were cleaned up. No longer broken and chipped with blood encrusted into them.
The robe he was wrapped in was similar. Fancy and the perfect amount of coziness. Ghost's body was... pleasant to be in. The aching in his right shoulder from where his dad had yanked him too hard as a child, the harsh ripped feeling with his ribs, even the dull throbbing of his head from dehydration, all gone.
It was startling.
He took stock of his body first, seeing he very much still had wounds, he just couldn't feel them.
The room was plain. Carpeted with soft rugs though. It was a very pleasant temperature. All of the furniture inside had been nailed or screwed into the floor. The only thing in the room that Ghost could hypothetically pick up and use for a weapon was the robe he had on, his only clothing, or a lamp. The lamp itself was not where most of the light in the room was coming from. It wasn't... very clear actually where all the light was coming from. Even the shadows seemed unsure about it, with some moving severely one way and gently in others. Some objects had two or three shadows, none of which made sense.
Ghost had a weird sensation like he should have a headache but didn't.
A man came in. Ghost's height, but just a smidge shorter. Broad shouldered and striking blue eyes and a mohawk that looked oddly out of place.
Blood. It soaked him. His clothes and face and there were clots in his hair.
"Yer awake." The thickness of his accent and the strangeness of the situation meant Ghost needed a second to really understand him.
"Yes."
"Soap."
Ghost stared at him before he continued. "My name is Soap. You're name is Simon."
"Prefer Ghost." He responded quickly now and he said it seconds before he sent the useless lamp hurtling at Soap's head. It smashed into him and Ghost felt the impact like it had hit him. Pain lanced through him and although it was a familiar type of pain, it still made him choke out a noise from the shock of it.
Soap moved closer, unharmed. Smiling. "My dear Simon. While I find that very amusing, I recommend you don't try to hurt me, okay, mo chridhe?"
Ghost blinked at the man, head spinning even faster. He gingerly felt his face for any soreness, but there was nothing. Just...himself.
Soap was in front of him. He gently started to reach for him before stopping, bloody fingers about to dirty Ghost. Immediately, he pulled back. "You don't know me... personally. But you and I have a very long history together."
Ghost stared at him blankly.
"I apologize for my state. A sacrifice? To the concept of pain? Of suffering? Well, it doesn't happen as often as you might think. And there's a lot of things, gods, spirits, concepts that wanted you. But I could never, ever, let them have you." Soap spoke like his words were honeyed.
Ghost had been in hunting in Canada the first time a mountain lion had observed him. It had been the same feeling. Same fear.
"Now, I know you must be nervous. Scared. That's okay. You can be those things." Soap smiled. Dazzling. Beautiful. It hurt to look directly at it. "But please know and understand that I will never, ever hurt you again."
Again?
Ghost tried to string words together. He needed to ask a question, but what would be the right one?
Soap turned. "I'm going to go wash up. Stay here. Rest. You look tired."
Ghost had just woken up. He did not feel tired. He only felt the fabric against his skin. "Where am I?" Not a good enough question.
Soap smiled. "You are in... well. Heaven isn't quite right. Neither is hell. Human souls do not come here often. But you are safe. I'd level the world. Destroy anything that came into my path. Before I let another being lay their hands on you."
Ghost knew he was telling the truth. Instinctively and viciously. His body started to get colder and he wrapped himself in the blanket as he watched Soap walk away from him. There was the sound of water.
Ghost ran for the door. He tried to get it open. It wasn't locked. It just... wouldn't move. He yanked harder and used all of his strength, feeling it just barely creak. Like a cat, he clawed at the door, trying to get it to just fucking budge.
The water shut off and Ghost fled back to bed to pretend he had stayed in the same spot.
Soap was... handsome. He reminded Ghost of someone he knew from high school.
"How do we know each other?"
Soap didn't look happy. "I am a god."
"My mom was protestant and my dad was atheist and I really doubt the Christian God is Scottish."
Soap grinned dangerously. "Why? Think he's a Brit?"
"No. He'd be Jewish. Seeing as Jesus was Jewish. So. Let's say I believe you." "You should." "Which I don't, what are you the god of?"
"Pain. Anguish. Suffering. At the hands of a parent usually but not always."
"Oh."
"So you know me well. Unfortunately. You're not the person to go through the most pain. Shocking, I know. You're in the top ten. But... it was the past few years where you caught my interest."
Ghost stared at him. "Wasn't conveniently when I turned 18 and therefore it's legal was it?" It was a shit joke. One mostly done to throw Soap off. To try to get him to stop staring at him the way he did.
"Nah. You were actually 20 already. You put yourself through more pain and I was there again. I saw you again. And you had... filled out. Got taller. Older I should say. You were... gorgeous." Soap looked at him with literal hearts around him. They formed out of smoke.
Ghost didn't want to know what he considered his love language. If it was anything like what he was, Ghost imagined the next eternity living in agony with the promise of love hanging above his head.
"I see."
"Yes. I will admit that I'm wretched."
"You could've stopped it?"
"No. Not at all. You think I like letting children get hurt? Never. But I am the god of pain and anguish so I am there. I watch and I tip the scales and when I can, I bring karmic justice. But right now, I am wretched for not stopping you from being killed. But Simon, you must understand that I simply wanted to protect you. Now I can. Now I can bring you to my bed. Love you properly."
Ghost felt the floor fall from beneath him. His panic must've been clear on his face.
"Not right now." Soap said it so loudly it made Ghost flinch. He quickly dropped the volume. "For now, it is more than enough to know you are... safe. Unable to feel pain. Within my reach, though not in my grasp yet." He reached forward, fingers gently touching Ghost's cheek. It sent such a visceral feeling through Ghost. His nerves reacted. The touch drowning everything out.
It lingered far longer than it should.
"You're tired, aren't you?"
Ghost gasped, trying to find air for his lungs. "Wait."
"Just rest. Your body is so damaged. It's going to take so much time to stitch you together, but I promise I will do it with all the love and care needed." Soap took consciousness away from Ghost. Gently, careful to let him drift into it. Like threads.
Ghost woke up with most of his wounds healed or healing. They did not all heal cleanly, leaving scars, but they were done. Not even tender.
Soap slept next to him, slowly breathing in and out.
Ghost tried to escape again, scrambling at the door. He so desperately wanted to get out of there. To get confirmation this was fake.
"The door only opens for Gods." Soap mumbled from where he was in the blankets. "Come back to bed, Simon."
"Don't call me that. Whatever bullshit you're using to make this door act like this is probably some stupid trick. Something heavy on the other side."
Soap got up and walked over. "You think you're about as strong as I am right?"
"Probably."
Soap opened the door with ease. There was nothing on the other side but hallways. And a few cats. "Easy, peasy. You're human. My human. So it won't open for you."
Ghost watched Soap close the door. No latching, no locks. He tried to open it and it wouldn't budge. He kept asking for Soap to open it again, trying to find the trick to it. Soap was infinitely patient.
Soap put his hand on the knob. "Turn it."
Ghost turned and opened the door. Easily. He tried again with just his hand. Nothing. The knob was too old to have any fingerprint technology or some other tech thing.
Ghost looked at Soap who just shrugged. "Told you. If you want to go outside, we can go."
"Yes. I'd... like that."
Soap nodded. "You shouldn't go out in just a robe. Let me get you clothing."
Ghost nodded and watched Soap go to a door that hadn't been there before. He got clothing out and got on his knees, helping Ghost who followed the silent orders automatically.
Soap offered his arm.
"No." Ghost was not going to hang off him like arm candy. "I'll walk next to you."
Soap frowned. "Simon."
"No."
"It's to keep you safe. How about we hold hands?"
"No. Don't touch me."
Soap sighed. "I can't say no to you. Just stay close. If someone takes you away, they might hurt you."
Ghost did stay close to Soap. Mostly because Soap stayed really close. Things did watch Ghost. Things that clearly were not human. Not animals.
"Are you hungry?"
"Yes."
Soap led him to a kitchen. The doors didn't make sense. Ghost felt the world start to crumble around him.
Oh fucking hell.
This was real.
Soap got him food. It was leaves with something red over it, most likely salad dressing. He added some meat to the side and gently led Ghost back up. Ghost grabbed his arm and followed him.
Soap sat on the bed and watched him eat.
Ghost enjoyed the food. It tasted good. Mostly, he was trying to pretend this wasn't happening.
Soap motioned for Ghost to shower once he was done. His clothes mysteriously disappeared besides the robe. He laid on the bed again, sinking about into the softness. Music started to play. Beautiful music.
Ghost felt Soap laying next to him. Both staring at the ceiling.
"You like the stars, right?"
Ghost nodded. "I do."
Soap flicked his hands and the ceiling started to swirl until they were exactly like his stars from home.
Ghost started to breath harder. This was insane. All of it. But god, it was so nice to not feel pain.
Soap turned to him. "Simon. You're feeling something I don't understand."
"I don't want you to hurt me."
"I'm not going to hurt you."
"You're capable. More than capable. What could I do to defend myself?"
"Simply tell me to leave. I adore you. I'll do anything you want. Anything to make you feel comfortable."
Ghost was silent for a while. They laid there a long time. He wasn't sure how long. Must've been hours. Just watching the stars. It was horribly pessimistic. Evil almost. But he knew if he didn't give Soap what he wanted, he'd take it eventually.
"Take what you want."
Soap looked at him, strangely passive. "Alright." He got on top of him, cradling his face. "I love you, Simon Riley."
Ghost looked away and let Soap pull the robe away. Let him trail his fingertips over him. He kept waiting for the pain. For roughness. Instead, Soap carefully prepped him. He pushed in one of his fingers, coated in something slick that felt warm. His mouth stayed busy on Ghost's stomach. With a gentleness that felt so foreign from the literal god of pain, he sweetly opened Ghost up for another finger.
The stretch felt... divine. It got a tiny groan out of Ghost that Soap quickly kissed him to swallow down. "I love you. I'll prove it. I have all of eternity to show you pleasure. To make up for all of the pain you've felt."
Ghost gasped as he felt him go deeper. Pleasure sparked up his spine as he was prepped. It was overwhelming and amazing and it felt so damn good. All too soon, he was pulling out those magic fingers and leaving Ghost empty and wanting more.
Soap hiked Ghost's legs up. "You might feel a bit of pain. I'm sure you're familiar with this."
Ghost bit his lip and nodded. "Be as rough as you want. I'm sure my pain is good for you."
Soap grabbed his hips and slid into him. Slow and steady. "Simon. Simon. Come now. Do I need to come out and just say I want to spoil you?"
There was no time to adjust before he carefully rolled his hips, making Ghost arch from pleasure. It spun and ran through him, too intense to be natural.
Soap held him close and kept going. Loving. The word loving came to mind. It was so focused on Ghost in a way he wasn't used to. There was this dizzying lack of anything but pleasure. He dug his nails into his skin to ground himself but Soap pinned him by his wrists. The change of angle meant Soap just brushed his prostate in just the right way and Ghost slowly felt something in him start to crack.
So good.
So good...
"I'd never hurt you. I only want you to feel pleasure. I'd keep you like this for all eternity if I thought you'd be happy. I'd dedicate my existence to pleasuring you. Whatever you'd ask of me. My mouth, my body, my hands. I've spent so much time learning what I can. What makes men feel good. what would make you feel good. I know every nerve of your body. Ever reaction of the flesh."
Soap twisted his hips and Ghost cried out, the stars in his eyes mixing with the stars from the ceiling. His legs shook where they wrapped around Soap.
"Faster..."
Soap grinned. "There you go. You'll learn to love me. I promise. But until then, whatever you want, you get. I'll spoil you. Ruin you. No one else will be able to compete." He did go faster. It was perfect.
Ghost felt his thoughts disappearing and being replaced with just...
Soap kissed him and stayed at the right pace until Ghost had to turn his head to catch his breath. He reached down to finish himself but Soap pushed it away. "No. Just this. I know you can. Until then, just keep enjoying the feeling okay? You don't do anything but feel."
Ghost whined, feeling the pressure in his lower gut. He needed to finish, but he understood Soap's point in that he didn't want it to end. Maybe he could be happy doing this forever. Just taking and taking and...
Ghost couldn't think anymore. His body just wouldn't let him, taking over his thoughts.
"Soap. Soap. Soap. Soap." Simon mumbled before throwing his head back, coming all over both of them. The moment overstimulation started, Soap stopped, pulling out. He pushed his hair back before going to tuck himself back into his pants. "Not going to finish?"
"Don't see a reason to as long as you did."
"No. Finish."
Soap paused and stared at him before slowly wrapping his hand around his cock. He started to stroke himself but kept eye contact with Ghost. He came all over Ghost's chest.
"Good.' Ghost muttered, relaxing. "I need another shower."
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cod incorrect quotes #3
Thank you for all the likes and reblogs so far <3 It's super sweet and motivating. So have some more!
the usual jazz, mainly Y/N stuff, platonic and romantic. Also has some Soapghost!
Once I get back on my writing jazz, I'll post some one-shots. Have yet to write one for the cod fandom though, so we'll see. Maybe I'll finally let my old stuff see the light of day.
- Lila
・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。..・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。..・。.✭・♛ ♛ ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)つ━━✫・*。 ⊂   ノ    ・゜+. しーーJ   °。+ *´¨)
・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。..・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。..・。.✭・♛
Ghost: What do you have? Soap: A KNIFE! Ghost: NO!
Soap: Hey, random question, what are your favorite flowers? Y/N: Carnations, why? Soap: Y/N: Were you going to get me flowers? Soap: Y/N: Soap: ᶦᵗ’ˢ ᵃ ᵖᵒˢˢᶦᵇᶦˡᶦᵗʸ
Ghost: Wait you like me? For my personality? Soap: I know, I was surprised too.
Y/N: You believe me? Ghost: Y/N, you’re one of the last good persons on this planet. I‘d believe cartoon birds braided your hair this morning.
Soap: Ghost has only knocked me out three times this week. Our friendship is really developing. (this is just canon tbh)
Y/N: If we lose, you’re out of the will. Soap: I was in the will?
Ghost is speaking on the phone Ghost: Yeah, I'm with Soap. Soap: Im fucking dying- Ghost: Yep, he's okay. Soap: I have a knife in my chest! Ghost: No, he can't talk right now. He's sleeping, sorry. Soap: IM BLEEDING OUT-
Ghost: I could kill you if I wanted. Y/N: Yeah? So could any other human being. So could a dog. So could a dedicated duck. You aren't special.
Price: I am in charge of these disasters! Y/N, Soap, Ghost and Gaz: We have names, you know.
Gaz: What is wrong with you? Y/N: Loaded question. Elaborate.
Y/N: When I get murdered, can you make sure I become an unsolved case? Soap: wHat? Y/N: I want to be on Buzzfeed Unsolved. Ghost: Can we go back to the part when you said "when I get murdered"?
Y/N: Met a dumbass today. Awful. Gaz: You looked in a mirror? Y/N: Someday you will have to answer for your actions and god may not be so merciful.
Soap: We can bake these cookies at 400 degrees for 10 minutes or 4,000 degrees for 1 minute. Ghost: No, that's not how you make cookies. Y/N: FLOOR IT!! Soap: How about 4,000,000 degrees for 1 second?!? Price: yOU'RE GONNA BURN THE HOUSE DOWN- Y/N: I'M GONNA HARNESS THE POWER OF THE F UCKING SUN TO MAKE COOKIES! Soap: DO IT! Price: NO-
Y/N: Time-sensitive question how flirt boy. Gaz: Throw rocks at he. Soap: Hot Dogs. Ghost: Kill him. Y/N: Thanks, guys.
Soap: I'm cold. Ghost: Here, take my hoodie. meanwhile Y/N: I'm cold. Gaz: I can't control the weather, Y/N.
・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。..・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。..・。.✭・♛  ∧_∧ (。・ω・。)つ━☆・*。 ⊂   ノ    ・゜+. しーJ   °。+ *´¨) “Hie thee home, little wanderer.”
・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。..・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。..・。.✭・♛
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dark-is-d3ad · 5 months
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OK, I'm moving soon, and I'm currently sitting in the middle of my ravaged flat surrounded by boxes, jars, and all sorts of things you never know you even had before it's time to go pack them up.
So here's a bunch of soapghost headcanons about moving in together.
• They end up helping each other to pack things. The flat they chose is a two-bed in Epping, really close to the forest. Easy to get to when they come back for a break, technically still in London, but in a quieter area on the outskirts of the city. Ghost checked for a multitude of things, including ways to get in and to retreat, hidden cameras, and he's making a custom surveillance system for it. You can never be too safe, right?
• The second bedroom is going to become Johnny's art studio. Ghost has dibs on the living room, he's got a huge TV and a PS5. And his humongous bookshelf will also go in there. They plan it out perfectly, so that they can spend time together, but also can have their alone time without bothering each other.
• Ghost refuses help at first, but then Johny just shows up with his portable speaker, and hangs out with him. It's a little distracting, and he has way too many books, they run out of boxes. Ghost never tells him, but he's grateful, it was getting overwhelming.
• Ghost's place looks neat, if not a little barren, his things are all sorted to perfection. He's got a collection of shotguns, too. And a huge table, perfect size to work on them comfortably. Cleaning and servicing guns never fails to calm him down. His favourite is an older one, a Benelli M2. It's in pristine condition albeit a little worn, its barrel needs to be changed because it can only last through so much shots, but Ghost kinda wants to keep it as it is, even though it's not practical. He's sentimental about it. They spend a lot of time packing them all up carefully.
• Johny actually asks him to come over, because his adhd gets unmanageable when he goes through all his things, and it's easier if a very specific person makes him stay on track, otherwise he'd be still stuck there reading his diaries and going through his pile of sketchbooks, and oh, the drawing supplies, he has the urge to use that beautiful box of designer gouache his sister gifted to him literally right now because he forgot about it, and now it's so tempting. Ghost thinks of it as of a mission, so he comes up with a strategy and keeps it tactical. And he makes Soap take breaks every once in a while.
• Soap's stuff doesn't fit into the van. Even with the furniture dismantled and packed, he's got so much things, a lot of them art supplies, a huge easel, half-finished paintings, canvases he forgot about or he hadn't had time to come back to. And his bed is freaking huge. They finally cram it in, but it's a really tight squeeze. Comparing to this, Ghost's was half-empty. Thank god their new place is on the bigger side.
• Ghost gets distracted, too, when they pack the paintings. He's not an artsy kinda guy, yet they are so good, he's entranced. It's Johnny's turn to make him focus. Soap doesn't think much of his art, and Ghost makes a mental note to compliment it more often. He really wants to see more. Hell, he'd even pose, if Soap ever asks for it. He won't tell him though.
• There's a "do not touch" black sketchbook with a little white scull drawn on the cover, and Soap flushes deep red and packs it away in record times. Ghost is intrigued beyond measure. He has assumptions of what's in there, and he sneakily checks it out when Soap goes to pack his clothes. It's full of sketches of him. Soap actually took his time to study him, he thinks, even the tattoos are all looking exactly right. The ones from the shower make him wonder if Soap actually memorised him that well or he got some sneaky reference pics (how did he manage that, the bastard). It's got notes, too. It takes an effort not to read them, but Ghost feels like he already intruded a bit too much, so he puts the sketchbook back where it was. Just in time, because Soap pops out with an absolutely ridiculous coat in his hands, and goes "hey, look what I used to wear when I was 18!"
• Ghost has a freaking lot of random jars. They're all empty. When asked about it, he confesses that he wanted to make jam, his grandfather used to make a lot of it every summer. It's one of the good memories he has, and there's not so many of them. He tried to make it once, but failed, and had to throw away the whole batch. They keep each and every one, although it seems stupid.
• Johnny's art stuff is a whole lot. He's got tree branches and clay, and a fucking mannequin (it scares Ghost every time he walks in Soap's living room, because his side vision registers it as a person, and he can't get over it). The mannequin has a crooked smiley face drawn on it with a sharpie. There's sheets of metal, fabric, a lot of acrylic, and a ton of instruments. He was trying to get into modern sculpture, Soap says, it didn't really work out. Needs more 3d thinking. Ghosts proposes to try again after they move. He's good at fixing stuff, and he's really good at guerilla warfare, they'll find a way to make even the weirdest thing Soap comes up with hold together.
• Soap's got little led garlands wrapped on every vertical thing at his place. At first Ghost thinks it's stupid, but when the night comes, and Soap lights all of them up, it actually feels almost magical. They sit on the floor with mugs of tea and coffee, and, although it's messy and everything is moved out of place, it's still beatiful, and it feels so safe. Ghost finds himself feeling more like a 5 y o than he probably ever did, sitting there just watching lights slowly light up and fade. He's never been good at making his places cozy. He'll ask Soap to work on their new flat to make it more like that. He really wants the lights there, too.
• Johnny's mugs are all different. He's got the "guns and coffee" with a redrawn Starbucks logo, the mermaid holds two pistols. Ghost gets the "under all your tattoos you're still a mainstream cunt" one when it's Johnny's turn to make tea. He pretends to be offended. There is a pink one with "unt" on it. It makes sense when Soap turns it, and the handle finishes the word. There's one with lots of bees, and it reads "bear daddy". Ghost makes the stupidest jokes about it.
• Ghost hasn't got a lot of kitchenware, and all his plates and mugs are white, the cheapest ones from IKEA. And he's only got one chair. No guests - no need. Johnny finds it a little depressing, but says nothing.
• Johnny's spicerack is probably the second biggest collection he has after his art stuff. He likes cooking, and he likes trying new recipes. His favourite go-tos sit separately on the kitchen counter. Ghost has to admit that he's really good. Ghost's spices are just salt and pepper, which gets him "and you live like that? Lt!" from Soap.
• When they finally move their stuff in, a call from Price comes. There's things to do like right now, get ready in 5, be at base in an hour and a half. Ghost likes his work, yet he can't help but get a little grumpy. He really wanted to get it over with. And to see what comes out of it with all things in place. And to have a chill evening with Johnny, watching these little lights again with some quiet ambient playing on the background. "It's OK," Soap says, "we'll get it sorted when we come back."
OK, that's gonna be it for now, I have a sad option and a silly option to go for, but I'd rather make a part two and separate them.
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s0fter-sin · 4 months
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soap and ghost, after months of flirting, of having each other’s backs and saving each other’s lives, of knowing the other better than they know themselves, finally getting together
ghost letting himself free fall onto the bed, soap following, always following his lead. they barely pull apart enough to get their shirts over their heads, hands running over muscles and scars and holding close
soap kisses every new scar that’s revealed to him, from the thick keloid divot over his ribs from some kind of puncture to the innumerable slashes and stitch wounds holding his torso together until he’s mouthing over his collarbones; the tips of his fingers lightly caressing the edges of his mask
ghost who’s been so quiet, so overwhelmed by soap’s touch that all he can do is sink into him, panting gasping breaths, finally pushes out, “don’t ask me. please…”
soap freezes, mouth hovering over his skin. “ghost…?”
ghost’s face is tilted away, eyes held so tightly shut they tremor while the rest of his body stays lax beneath his. desperate. resigned. “please don’t ask me, johnny.”
soap lets his hand fall from the mask, coming to run soothing circles over his clothed hip. “why?”
“because i’ll say yes,” he confesses and it’s great and terrible; a warning and a relinquishment laid at soap’s feet. “i’ll always say yes to you.”
for a long moment, there’s nothing but their shared breaths, nothing but their hearts beating for the other. until soap finally leans down to press a kiss to the corner of his hidden mouth; his lips meeting faint raised scar tissue he might never see
“i’ll never ask.”
ghost’s eyes drift open and they catch on soap’s; on a sea of promise and fierce protection
“i swear… i’ll never ask, ghost.”
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Text
I saw fanart and now I’m doing a thought/prompt dump. Most of these are SoapGhost
1) Soap is a fuckin atrocious eater 😂 like man’s gets food all over his mouth (and on one occasion his hair cause he didn’t realise he had food on his hands) and Ghost finds it both wildly endearing and so so fuckin annoying. He still cleans him up anyway though
2) Soaps a brat. No question, without a doubt, he’s a brat. And Ghost lives for it. He loves pushing Soap to be as bratty as he can be just so he can turn around and teach him a lesson. Soap knows Ghost does this and sometimes he’ll up it just a touch more cause he also loves the game they play
3) Ghost finally figuring out Soap’s been proper flirting with him (and not just as a game) and freaking tf out and Soaps just there like ‘thank you for noticing my heartfelt feelings for you after so long’
4) 2022 Ghost and Soap meeting 2009 Ghost and Soap would be so funny and so chaotic and just- yes. But also, throw 2009 & 2022 Price in the mix to add on the angst of knowing the other two died and shit
5) Soap going around kissing everyone but then when he gets to Ghost and tries to give him a short kiss on the cheek the others dragging him away to thoroughly ruin him
6) Ghost using Johnny’s ass to stabilise his sniper instead of his shoulder or whatever cause ‘Johnny your muscles are getting in the way, turn around’ 🤣
7) Someone else said this once but Johnny stealing one of Ghost’s skull masks and painting it red and then claiming he’s always had it and doesn’t know why his Lt is accusing him of crime
8) Soap using Ghost as a recharge for his social battery. One small kiss or hug from the man and he’s ready to light up a room again
9) Soap’s got a hardcore oral fixation and it’s hard to find him without something in his mouth. Most times he’s got lollipops in his mouth (cause he really doesn’t wanna go through the mess of accidentally breaking a pen with his teeth again) and Ghost is so weak for it
10) Soap using Ghost’s shirts to sleep in cause they’re comfy and bigger than him (Soap loves feeling small sometimes cause he’s a big dude)
11) Alejandro locking Soap in a closet somewhere on base (cause the man wouldn’t shut the fuck up) and then having to deal with the consequences of an angry (scared) Ghost that goes on an absolute warpath thinking Soap’s been kidnapped
12) Soap being an amazing cook but none of the 141 knowing cause they pissed him off and he cooked them borderline poisonous food as revenge. They won’t let him near the kitchen now
13) This wasn’t a fanart I saw but my brain took it to these two idiots anyway. But Ghost squeezing the absolute shit out of Soap’s ass and Soap just letting him cause he’s low key proud his ass made his Lt. Act out of sorts 😂
14) Soap putting on a harsher accent when he’s shy cause he hopes to god that whoever he’s talking to will give up on trying to understand him and leaves it alone
15) Alejandro learnt one bit of Gaelic so he could swear at Soap and Soap lost his fuckin mind at him in Gaelic and Spanish. Nobody’s ever tried doing it again
16) Soap’s so fuckin pale under all that gear that if you shine a light on it directly you will be blinded
17) Ghost catfishing Soap on tinder but Soap knowing about it cause his Lt. is an idiot that’s never put a password on his phone, he’s still rolling with it cause he wants to see how far he can get
18) Ghost marks Soap up to hell and back before he goes out for drinks so people know he’s taken even if Ghost isn’t there to tell them himself
19) Soap makes random noises with literally every little thing he does (it gets worse when he’s bored) and Ghost doesn’t understand it but he finds it funny and will sometimes join in (though denies it if he’s caught)
20) Last one, Soap’s got an entire journal filled with pictures from the end of each mission and they all have little messages or the names of anyone they might’ve lost. It stays on base and hidden cause it holds a lot of value to him
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scattered-winter · 1 year
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winter PLEASE!!! not me starting to get second-handedly invested in characters for a video game i’ll never play and know nothing about 😭
I'm so normal about the military video game guys I promise I promise
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ramrage · 23 days
Text
How about another Fortune?
Chapter 1: Part 1
work rating: M
chapter rating: M
relationship: John “Soap” MacTavish x Simon “Ghost” Riley (endgame); John "Soap" MacTavish x Original Female Character (temporary)
characters: John “Soap” MacTavish, Simon “Ghost” Riley”, Original Female Character
tags: Freeform, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Straight? John “Soap” MacTavish, Cheating, Non-Chronological, this is a (gay) lovestory, Self-Discovery
summary: Soap is a heterosexual man in love, and everything is great. Really, it is. Factually speaking, no less.
Enjoy what you have, hope for what you lack. How about another Fortune? SecondFortune.com Lucky Numbers 19, 54, 37, 40, 47, 21
A/N: multimedia, nonchronological weirdness. pardon that. also, it doesn't start that way, but it's a ghostsoap (soapghost?) endgame. fret not.
ao3 link
part 2
John MacTavish with Ella Mitchell
💙
In a relationship with Ella Mitchell
February 14, 2014
67 Likes | 14 comments
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Ella Mitchell Congrats, Johnno. Really lucked out with that one :P <3 Like | Reply
PARADISE
Life is good. Can be, rather. So good that you’re drawn out of the moment for a split-second of awe, some shattering clarity of how fucking right things can be sometimes. And then you’re back in it, and somehow it’s even better.
“God, I fucking love you,” John breathes, not a post-nut bout of romanticism, short-lived. There she is: Ella. Sweaty, beautiful, and smiling. Sex on perfect fucking legs, and sweet. So damn sweet. “Fuck, I love you.”
He think it again when she looks away, shy, and looks back again with that wry smile, the one that has him love drunk and stupid every fucking time. “I love you, too, Johnny.”
And then the fucking minx rolls her hips, “but I’ve only cum twice. And you, my dear,” she muses, leaning forward to press a kiss to his cheek “promised me three.”
“Bleeding hell,” John thinks. “I’m gonna marry her. Mother of my future children.”
He makes good on his promise, of course. Lets her take his iPod and play the music she likes as he settles between her thighs afterwards, and throws in another for good measure, because of course. For her, it’s fucking nothing. Anything. Forever, and always, and all that other bullshit.
Time is a pesky bitch, is the thing.
And proximity is one hell of a drug.
HEALTH STATISTICS (UNOFFICIAL)
ORGASMS PER CALENDAR YEAR: 2021
SUBJECT: JOHN MACTAVISH SEX OF SUBJECT: MALE (REPORTED) SEXUAL ORIENTATION OF SUBJECT: HETEROSEXUAL, STRAIGHT
ORGASMS FROM PARTNERED SEXUAL INTERCOURSE
VAGINAL, receiving: N/A VAGINAL, giving: 8 ANAL, receiving: 0 ANAL, giving: 0 ORAL, receiving: 3 MANUAL, non-penetrative: 4 MANUAL, penetrative: 0 TOTAL PARTNERED SEXUAL INTERCOURSE: 15
ORGASMS FROM SELF-STIMULATION
ANAL, manual, non-penetrative: 0 ANAL, manual, penetrative: 0 PHALLIC, manual: 172 PHALLIC, oral: 0 VAGINAL, manual, non-penetrative: N/A VAGINAL, manual, penetrative: N/A NON-GENITAL STIMULATION, manual or oral: 0 TOTAL SELF-STIMULATION: 172
YEAR TOTAL ORGASMS: 187
COMMS TRANSCRIPT
VERDANSK, KASTOVIA 02 11 2022 21:07:33–21:07:38
21:07:33 G: Soap, you’ve got three enemies moving in East. 21:07:36 S: Copy. Permission to engage? 21:07:38 G: Give ‘em hell.
TROUBLE IN PARADISE, PT 1
They aim to call every week, even though they both know more often than not, it’s more of a monthly occasion. But it’s a low key Thursday, and for a change, John actually has time.
“So, how’d it go?” Ella sounds flat and tinny and terribly familiar over the phone. It feels like half the time they speak, her voice is like this. Compressed, still rising and falling with the gesticulations he can’t see, and wrong.
“Good, good…”
He can’t exactly say, “Nah, but don’t worry. The other guy got off much worse. Blew his head clean off his shoulders, actually,” so he tells her everything went well instead. It doesn’t exactly suck, and it isn’t exactly lying. “Yeah,” he continues, “can’t say much, but it was a tight operation. Clean.”
“And that’s why they call you Soap, eh?”
“Pretty and smart. I’ve won the lottery, haven’t I?”
“Mhm. Just gotta come and cash in your winnings is all,” and John’s stomach sinks because the anticipation he should feel is definitely anxiety. Any talk of coming home had slowly and consistently fallen from grace in his mind, and what used to be a respite feels more like faffing about in fairy land. For better or for worse (and in sickness and in health), he is married to his job. Thats how it goes with shit like this: too high-stakes to be anything other than wholly committed to.
Morality aside, two-timing is exhausting business and as John sees it, it just gives you two cakes that you can’t have, and can’t eat either.
PURGATORY
“Happy birthday, Johnny.”
Pulling away from Ghost’s lighter, Soap exhales that first draw, acrid as always, before chuckling. “Aye, cheers. Not how I expected it to go, but…”
“What did you have in mind then, eh? A little pub crawl out here in the middle of nowhere?”
Ghost manages to look nonchalant as he scans the blackdrop forest, leaning into the safe house’s dilapidated siding where he and Soap had posted up not too long ago. There’s bare little to see, bare little to do, so they smoke and shoot the shit.
Happy Birthday, indeed.
“Ha, fair. No point in making plans in this line of work.” He leaves out the part about Ella at home somewhere, filling the bin with pound shop birthday decorations. No use in reusing them. You only turn 30 once, after all. Ghost’s quiet, so he amends, “at least, not personal plans.”
“Had me worried there.”
“C’mon now, the planning is your’s and Price’s domain.”
“Watch it, sergeant. Arsekissing will only get you so far.”
“And how far it’s gotten me.”
“Ungrateful bastard. I got you the candles and everything.”
Soap snorts. “Aye, and you’re always hauling cake, so I reckon I’ve got that, too.”
“Fuckin’ hell.”
Thank god there’s no HR department in Arsefuck, Russia. Soap’d be toast by now. Or maybe not. This isn’t the first time he’s pulled this shit, and the reaction’s just about the same.
“I‘m just sayin’, ‘s not my fault you’re addicted to deadlifts.”
“Fuck—I wanna let you see another birthday, MacTavish, but you’re pushing your luck.”
“So you do like me.”
TROUBLE IN PARADISE, PT 2
“Hey, good-lookin’. How does this sound? You, me, a little takeaway, maybe a movie?”
John glances up from his phone. “What?”
“I was wondering how you felt about a night in.” Ella groans, noticing John’s eyes are still glued to his phone. A couple of snaps in his face, and John finally looks up. “I’m sorry,” she begins before he has a chance to apologize. “Am I interrupting something?”
John shakes his head. “Baby, no. Fuck, I’m sorry. It’s fucking work shite, shouldn’t take me too much longer.”
Ella doesn’t look appeased. Not remotely. Eyes burning mad above the dark circles, fingers tapping testily where they rest on the waistband of her joggers.
“How many times are ya gonna be sorry, John, eh?” Exasperated, she runs a hand through her brown hair, messing it up even more than it already is. “You’re gone for months on end, and that’s fine. I knew that was what I was getting into. But then when you’re actually fucking here, you couldn’t give a damn.”
“Elle, c’mon, don’t say that. I promise I want to deal with this shit even less than you do. You know I care, ba—”
“I don’t know that I fucking do, John. I don’t know that, and honestly, I don’t know if you really do care.”
John’s since put down the phone, but stands to wrap Ella in a gentle, rocking hug. She only fights him for a second before slumping against his chest. He likes it here, likes resting his chin on her shoulder where he can smell the lavender of her shampoo and her unwashed sleep shirt.
“Ellie, my darling. Give me five more minutes and I’m all yours. Put the order in on my card, and we can crack open the nice wine in the coat closet.”
“Dinner and drinks won’t just make it better, John,” she protests, muffled and half-hearted.
He leans back just enough to catch Ella’s eye, “No, it doesn’t.”
He jerks his head to the side, indicating she ought to let his hands guide her, turning until she’s facing away. She sighs and curses “that fucking MacTavish charm” when he starts kneading at her small shoulders. “That’s why I’m also planning on giving you a massage,” he begins to her answering hum, “a long one, and when you finally feel nice and relaxed and pampered, we can play that game you’re so fond of.”
“Which game?” she quips back despite knowing already what he means.
“Well, all you have to do is sit back and look pretty and let me see how many times I can get you off.”
“Mm, right, that one.”
“So, how does that sound for a night in?”
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HELL, UPPER CIRCLES
“Alright, fuck, get the fuck off me.”
Ghost relents and rocks back on his haunches, offering a hand to help Johnny roll to sit cross-legged. “You’re getting better.”
“Fuck off,” Johnny pants.
“Stronger, yeah. But smarter.”
“I’m plenty smart as is.”
“Weren’t always. Ya used to run in headlong, make stupid mistakes. You still do, granted, but not as often.”
“If that’s so, how’d I end up flat on my arse?”
Ghost shrugs, scratches the back of his neck through his damp mask. “I’m better.”
“Cocky bastard.”
“Takes one to know one.”
Soap rolls his eyes, wincing as he pushes himself up to stand. He squeezes a long stream of water into his mouth, missing near half of it before chucking Ghost’s water bottle across the gym.
He feels neither pleased nor surprised when Ghost turns the other way to lift his mask and drink. It’s what Ghost does.
“Five minutes and we go again,” Soap says, because it’s just enough time to catch his breath, “and this time, I’m fucking pinning you.”
“Fat fucking chance, sergeant.”
Enjoy what you have, hope for what you lack.
How about another Fortune?
SecondFortune.com
Lucky Numbers 19, 54, 37, 40, 47, 21
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(link to part 2)
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wow-thisismylifeiguess · 10 months
Text
part 1
hanahaki soapghost part 2
the team is off assignment for a month to give roach time to adjust to being back, being part of a new task force, and getting to know everyone. it’s a blessing and a curse for soap, means he’s not out on assignment while taking care of his little….problem, but it also means having to see his lieutenant and the new sergeant spending almost every second of time together.
gods, soap feels sick, and it’s not even just because of the flowers growing in his lungs.
it had taken nearly fighting gaz to the ground for soap to convince his best friend to not run to either price or ghost with what’s happening. gaz doesn’t leave his side for the next week, and soap can’t say that he’s upset about the whole thing, even if it’s embarrassing to wake the man up in the middle of the night because of a sudden coughing fit. all gaz does is get up and rub soap’s back, telling him he’ll be alright.
eventually, soap has to call to make the appointment. he’ll have to talk to medical, explain what’s going on, fill out forms, and then make up an excuse to price about why he’ll be gone for a bit. can he even make up an excuse? what does he tell the captain? lie about a family emergency?
soap sits alone for the first time in several days in the base’s kitchen. he’d managed to wake up and slip away without disturbing gaz and he drinks from a mug of lukewarm coffee while scrubbing at his eyes. he scrolls on his phone, looking at reviews from a doctor he’s been considering for a bit. all of the reviews are good, talking about how afterwards, people felt /so/ much better no longer being tied down by love for someone who wasn’t worth it.
/fuck/, ghost is worth it. ghost is so absolutely worth it. that’s not the issue. the issue is that soap /isn’t/.
“Oh! Soap! Wasn’t expecting to see you here….”
soap nearly jolts in his seat. he’d been so out of it, he failed to notice footsteps getting closer and when he looks up, he meets roach’s eyes. they’re a bright green even in the shitty lighting of the kitchen and the corners of his eyes are wrinkled as he smiles. the lines are etched so deep, he must smile like that often.
“Ah, couldn’t sleep.” soap says, and he forces a smile on his own lips but the way roach’s expression droops, it must not look super convincing.
“I….hope it’s not my fault.” roach says, and his voice is quiet. soap’s eyes go wide and roach looks away like he hadn’t meant to say that. “That came out wrong. I mean- you- We haven’t gotten a chance to talk, not really. Ghost tells me I’m being stupid, but I’ve gotten it in my head that you don’t…seem to like me…very much.”
oh….
soap blinks at him without saying anything and roach only seems to get more anxious before soap recovers and he’s waving his hands in the air. “No! No, it’s not like that at all!”
this time, roach looks startled, but he relaxes quickly. gives soap a soft smile that has something glittering in soap’s chest.
/what/?
he pushes the feeling away.
“Really? I- Yeah. I know, I was being stupid. But, well. Ghost’s told me a lot about you. So I wanted us to be friends.”
the fact that ghost talks about soap, and in such a positive way that roach actively sought out his company, soap feels ridiculously warm, but it’s quickly followed by a spike of pain. he tries to push it down but it’s so much worse than it’s been before. this is- he can’t-
it’s through sheer willpower that soap doesn’t spit out a whole goddamn fucking bouquet. there’s blood in the back of his throat and it feels like something sharp has ripped it up to bits, but he forces himself to speak through the pain.
“Yeah, of course,” he chokes out. “But we can hang out better once we’ve gotten some sleep, yeah?”
roach seems too happy by the fact that soap doesn’t hate him to notice that anything is wrong.
2/?
tbc
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