#and looked at my past self with shame and disgust | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

stairain · 1 year

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Mommy's Boyfriend.

While dropping off your son at school, the last thing you expect is your ex-boyfriend Mr.Reid to be his teacher.

Warnings: Soft Dom Spencer, Mother reader, Your child is unnamed don't think too much about it, make-up sex, cunnilingus, begging, gentle-ish sex, doggy style, light choking, cream pie, he loves you too much.

WC: 7.1K

It was the first day of school, and you were dropping your son off, walking through the hallway and holding the little boy's hand. As you passed through various rooms, you smiled at passing teachers and students. When you finally make it to your son's classroom, you kneel down and kiss his forehead before saying a few encouraging words to him, patting his back before urging him into the room.

"I'll see you in a few hours, love.."

You say to him as he walks away from you. When you stand up, you're not at all expecting Spencer to be standing there behind you. The two of you had broken up just before summer started, and although you knew he was a teacher, you were really hoping you didn't see him today.

What are the chances he’s your son's teacher? Apparently very high ones.

You give him a forced polite smile before trying to walk away from him as quickly as you could.

As Spencer watches you go, he’s hit with a wave of shame, guilt, and disgust. He should never have let things end the way he had. He should’ve tried to fix things but, instead, he had just given up. It was something he would never forgive himself for. He decides that he’s not going to let you go without at least knowing that he regrets his actions. He walks after you.

"Hey."

You hear him, and the clicking of your heels against the floor speeds up as you try to get away from him as fast as possible.

"Wait.." He says in a calm, firm, serious voice with a hint of a pleading tone. He picks up his pace and is quickly closing the distance between you two. When he moves closer to you, he reaches a hand out to plant on your shoulder, trying to stop you.

When you shrug off his hand, he purses his lips and quickly runs in front of you, so you're forced to stop. You blink at the quick movement and look up at him with eyes full of undercover malice. Pushing your tongue into your cheek in annoyance, you quietly snap at him, so as to not attract a crowd.

"Can I help you?"

Spencer looks at you with eyes that are full of regret, sadness, shame, and longing. He takes a small step closer to you. You can see that he’s upset, but most of the emotions he is feeling are negative ones directed at himself. He looks like he wants to hug you and cry at the same time, but he is restraining himself, far too scared to make you even angrier at him. Even in all of his sadness and regret there is still a little bit of love in his eyes, and it looks like he’s about to cry.

You bite your lips as the look in his eyes still never ceases to make you melt. With a small shake of your head, you speak.

"Listen, it's been great seeing you, but I just came to drop off my kid, alright?" You push past him and start walking towards the front doors, not wanting to be around him any longer than you already have.

Spencer reaches out and grabs your wrist before you can make it to the door. He looks at you with pleading eyes, still full of the same negative self-loathing emotions, but there’s a glint of hope and love in them.

"Wait–please." He says, his tone now urgent. "I just need two minutes of your time; to explain."

You take a deep breath and look down at your watch before you look back at him. "Don't you have a job to do?"

Spencer takes a deep breath and his eyes narrow before his expression softens again. "Yes, I do," he says.

"But, I'll go to work every day for the rest of my life. Please, just two minutes of your time." He looks desperate and pleading but, if you refuse again, he seems like he’ll let you go.

It hurts you to admit it, but his words make your heart swell. If there was one thing he was always good at doing, it was putting you first. But ironically, that's what got the two of you here in the first place. With wavering eyes, you look around before sighing, and agreeing.

"Two minutes."

A huge wave of relief washes over Spencer and he can't help but smile a little bit. He walks you to a quiet place to talk. Once you are out of earshot of everyone around he looks at you with regretful eyes, and his voice begins to crack a bit.

"I am so sorry. I never meant to hurt you and I am so sorry for the way I treated you. I was too caught up in my work and didn't give our relationship the attention it needed and I regret it every day. Please, forgive me."

You shake your head and look down at anywhere but him, because you know the second your gaze locks with those puppy-dog eyes you've always adored, all of your progress of "getting over him" in the past few months would go to waste in a heartbeat.

"I-I don't know, Spence.."

You hadn't even noticed the way you referred to him as his nickname you always used to call him, too caught up in your emotions to acknowledge it now.

"Please," His voice sounds desperate, like he might break down any moment now.

"I would do anything to fix what I have done. Please, just give me one more chance. I will never take you or our relationship for granted again. I love you."

As those last few words escape his lips his voice breaks and he looks like he might just get down on both knees and beg you. He looks completely ready and willing to show you, not just tell you, how sorry he is and that he can and will make things right.

Raising your chin a little to look at him through teary lashes, you run your thumb along your waterline. With a heavy sigh, you finally find the courage to look him in the eyes.

"You have a class to teach, Spencer. I'm sorry."

"I'll call in sick. I'd walk away from my job in an instant if it meant I got you back."

His voice is desperate as it breaks again and tears well up in his eyes.

"Please, love. Just give me a chance."

He looks heartbroken, and this is probably the most emotional, intense, and passionate he has ever been about his love for you and it's hard for you to resist. You’re sure you'll be making a mistake by saying no, but at the same time, you feel you’ll be making an even bigger mistake by saying yes.

You almost laugh at his words, but you stop yourself before you do. If you laughed in his face right now, you know he'd absolutely be crushed. With a sad smile, you sniff.

"Don't do that, Spencer."

With one last look at your watch, you barely think about the next words that leave your mouth. You were just saying whatever he wanted to hear, you couldn't help it. Even after everything, you just wanted to please him.

"Listen, I- School ends at three, right? When I come to pick him up, we can talk more, okay?"

Spencer is absolutely thrilled by how things just went. He fully expected you to just walk out on him, and he wouldn’t even blame you. He tries to hide the happiness on his face but he's unable to prevent himself from letting a small smile creep onto his lips. He nods his head in agreement.

"Three o'clock," He says in a calming, but still emotional, voice. "I'll be right here." He looks over you for a second before he turns and walks away, still clearly full of hope and optimism.

And you're left in the room by yourself and your thoughts as he walks out. You know this is a mistake, and you should've just ignored him and went on with your life, but it was too late now. In a battle with your heart and your head, you think you're going to let your heart win.

As the day passes, you're running errands and doing some work of your own, but your mind is somewhere else.

It's only two thirty, you've got another half hour until you see him again, and you feel your nerves race through your body. As you sit in your car in silence, the sound of your heart pounding in your chest rings in your ears, and it taunts you.

You can't help but feel excited as you think about finally getting the chance to talk to him and try to work things out despite knowing full well that this is a bad idea. Part of you still wants to run, but the idea of having him in your life again feels like a dream come true and it’s hard to resist that kind of temptation when it is just within your grasp.

At three o'clock Spencer is waiting at the school, just as he promised, hoping you won't change your mind.

Taking a deep breath and shaking out your hands, you get out of the car and begin to walk towards the entrance of the school. All of the other children and parents were walking back to their own cars, and you remember then that your son had after-school sports, and he wouldn't be going home with you now.

At least it gave you and Spencer more time to speak. As you walk closer to him, the pounding of your pulse fills all of your senses, and you force a polite smile on your face.

As you approach him he smiles and hugs you. His arms are warm and comforting, and just having him hold you again makes you feel better. You can tell he is nervous too, you can see it in the way his eyes are darting around and how he keeps fidgeting his hands. You can also tell that he’s trying to keep his composure and has the same polite smile you do. He's trying to act like things are normal and like he isn't just dying of impatience for when you two can go somewhere to have a serious conversation.

With a small push to his chest, you break the hug with an awkward chuckle. His touch felt so nice, so comforting, but it was too much for you right now. You clear your throat as you stand in front of him with your arms behind your back and stutter as you speak.

When you push him away you can see a little bit of hurt in his eyes before it’s quickly replaced with understanding and patience.

"I-I forgot that.. I forgot my son has soccer practice now.. So I don't have to pick him up for a few hours.." Your voice is wavering and sheepish, and you sound so unsure of yourself. The woman you were this morning, strong and unwilling to speak to the man in front of you was traded for a whole new persona, one that couldn't help but fumble under the gaze of Spencer.

"I see." He says in a calm, comforting tone, "Then, what would you like to do? Where would you like to talk?" As he speaks you can see him relax a little bit, but he is still filled with nervous energy, but it's clear that he’s trying to help you calm down.

And before you can stop yourself.

"We could go back to my place.."

When you say those words a huge smile makes its way across Spencer's face. He nods in agreement and takes your hand in his. You let him hold it.

"Your place, it is." As he speaks he leads you to his car and opens the passenger side door for you before getting into the driver's side himself. He turns to look at you to make sure you've gotten in safely and smiles again before turning forward to drive from the school to your house. As he drives, your thoughts race. You start thinking of all the ways this could go wrong, and they outweigh everything that could go right.

It almost hurts your heart that he still remembers where you live, without a GPS or directions. It's like he never really forgot, how could he? It's all muscle memory to him.

As Spencer drives, a wave of nostalgia hits him hard. He can't help but remember all the sweet moments you have had at your place. He remembers the long nights, and the quiet mornings. He remembers the way you used to make him feel.

Then it hits him, these are the same feelings that made him make the huge, dumb mistake that got him in this situation in the first place. If he doesn't want to lose you again he’s going to have to do everything in his power to fix his mistakes and do everything he needs to do in order to make you happy.

Pulling into your driveway, you swallow before unbuckling yourself and stepping out of the car. You don't wait on him as you're walking up the pavement to your front door, pushing it open and walking inside.

Spencer gets out of the car and follows you inside, closing the door gently behind him. He walks over to you and looks at you with intense love and affection in his eyes. Before you can speak, he gives you a long, passionate kiss. For those few seconds he is able to forget everything and all he can think about is just how much he's missed you and how much he loves you. When he finally pulls away, you can see how hard he had to try to pull himself away in the first place, he missed the taste of your lips on his.

"I love you.."

You gasp against his lips when he breaks the kiss, and the way your eyes widen almost rivals the moon. The nerve of him, you thought. But when his hands reach up to cradle your jaw, you can feel the anger fizzling into pathetic dust and you pull him in for another bruising kiss.

Spencer kisses you back passionately and his arms wrap all the way around your waist in the embrace. A wave of calm crashes over him as he holds you close to him because nothing feels better in the moment than being close to you again.

After a few minutes of kissing you he pulls back just a little bit to look at you and breathlessly speak.

"I missed you," he says, a little breathless, "So much."

Your eyes are full of passion and vexation towards him and you all but growl out your words.

"Shut up and kiss me." Grabbing the collar of his dress shirt, you deal another violent kiss to him.

"Yes, ma'am."

Is all he can say as he moves in again. He had to pry your mouth away from him for air, and he leans in to kiss you again, but this time, instead of going straight for your mouth he makes his way to your neck. He’s leaning over slightly as kisses your neck, your ears, and your jaw in a playful move that has more passion behind it than playfulness, but you can still tell he is trying to tease you.

Growing impatient and letting months of pent up emotions control you, you grab his hand on your head and forcefully move it down to your ass, putting your hand overtop of his as you make him squeeze your rear.

Spencer lets out a gentle groan at the feeling of you gripped in his hand, and grabs the handful roughly, digging his fingers into the denim of your jeans.

"Now, can we talk?" His voice is gravelly and breathless.

You’re pushing his body back until the backs of his knees hit the couch, and he sits down on it. You sit down next to him and begin to kiss up his neck, one of your hands moving to hold his jaw steady.

"Go ahead.." You murmur against his neck as you press a wet and sloppy kiss against the goosebump raised skin.

Spencer lets out a small chuckle at how much you seem to be enjoying this. He's loving every second of it and he just smiles as his eyes start to go a little bit cross-eyed as he leans back into you.

"Stop that. I don't think I can hold a coherent thought like this."

His voice is half serious and half playful, still filled with the same passion and lust for you it has been the whole time.

"You're a genius, figure it out." Your voice is low and teasing as you bare your teeth against the flesh and nibble at it, leaving small, red marks.

Spencer groans a little bit as a shiver runs down his spine at the feeling of your teeth against his skin. His eyes go a little bit more cross-eyed the longer you do it to him.

"Please," His voice is a little bit breathless and it's unclear if he is asking you to stop or if he's just asking you to take a little break from it so he can finish his sentence. "I'm begging."

Despite his words, you continue to suck at his neck, determined to mark him as yours once more. He was right, you two needed to talk about it, but you were a little preoccupied at the moment. Smiling against his skin, you lick over a fresh hickey.

“Haven't changed much then, Spence.."

Spencer lets out a small noise that is part moan, part whine, and part laugh. His eyes are just about completely rolled back into his skull at this point.

"I can't talk at all while you're doing this," His voice is strained but it's clear he is trying desperately to keep a playful tone to it. "You're not going to make this easy are you?" You can hear him take a deep breath as he is just barely able to calm himself down enough to give you a warning.

"Nothing about this is easy, love.." The pet name just slips from your mouth, as if it were a habit. You don't dwell on it for too long as you lift yourself onto his lap and continue to kiss and mark his neck.

Spencer moves slightly to make it easier for you to sit on his lap and he lets out a soft sigh when he feels your weight against him and once again he can't help but smile.

"Baby," He says, his voice getting just a little bit more sincere now as he gives you a soft kiss on the cheek, "Please..." he asks one last time with pleading in his eyes.

"I have a lot to talk to you about. I'm not sure how you feel about everything but I promise it will be okay if you let me explain."

With a final press of your lips against him, you pull back and rest your hands on his shoulders.

"Speak then."

The man takes a deep breath and speaks with the most sincerity you have ever heard in his voice.

"I am truly, truly, sorry for what I did to you," His voice cracks at the end of the word ‘you’ as he gets emotional again. He takes a few more deep breaths to compose himself before tearily speaking again. You can see how much he means the things he is saying and how much it hurts him having to tell you this.

“You didn’t and don’t deserve anything I did to you. I was wrong, and I’m sorry."

You had hoped the cloud of lust that sat between the two of you was enough to distract and mask the real reason why he was here, and you sigh. The arousal in your body fades and is quickly replaced with solemnness.

"I didn't deserve it, and I so badly want to hate you, Spencer." He reaches a hand out to run through your hair as you talk, and you lean into his comforting touch. "I spent months wanting to scream at you, yell at you for how you treated me. I wasn't even going to talk to you today, really.."

At your words Spencer's eyes fill with regret. He can only imagine how hard and awful the past few months must have been for you and to know he is the one who put you through it all makes him feel like he's a monster.

"I can't blame you, I know I'm a terrible person.. I really do." Spencer's voice cracks and tears start to form in his eyes too, he looks at you with a sad, pitiful look in his eyes. "You didn't deserve any of it, baby. I don't know what I was thinking.."

You tilt your head to the side at his words and pout at the way he's putting himself down. With a slightly trembling hand, you reach to wipe the tears forming in his eyes.

"You're not a terrible person, Spence. Just.." Taking a deep breath, you actually think about your response this time. When you come to a conclusion, you don't know if it's the right one or not. "Just, promise not to do it again, alright?"

Spencer watches you as you wipe away the tears that have formed in his eyes. He looks up and meets your eyes with some of the most pure love and devotion he has ever had. He slowly nods his head in agreement as a small smile starts to form on his face at your response.

"I promise, my love... I will do anything to make up for what I've done."

His words are filled with so much love and compassion it almost seems impossible that he is the same man who hurt you so many months ago.

You slowly nod and swallow, and try to push away the already rising feelings of sadness and regret.

"Can I kiss you without being interrupted, now?"

Spencer chuckles a little and nods.

"Of course you can... I've been dying for one." He gives you a playful wink and a playful shove to your shoulder before turning to kiss you deeply. When he pulls away his eyes are filled with the same passion and desire you have always loved, and a bit of the same lust you felt earlier as well. He smiles at you as he leans back on the couch and wraps his hands on your hips.

"Come closer. I've missed you so much."

A warm feeling fills your body at his words and you grab the back of his head to tug him into a hot and heavy kiss, full of pent up emotions of anger, lust, love, and hurt.

Spencer moves in for the kiss with just as much desire and lust as you. He lets out a small, playful moan as you pull on his hair, he grabs your waist as you kiss him and a small smile forms on his mouth.

As your lips break apart he catches his breath for a minute but he seems unable to resist you for too long as he pulls you in again for another kiss, this one even stronger than the one before and his hands start to wander under your clothes to the small of your back. Just one moment seems to be too long without his arms around you and his lips on yours.

A sigh of satisfaction pours from your mouth into his, and the feeling of his hands on your bare skin was a sensation you've gone far too long without. His fingers swirling up the flesh of your back feels like it's burning you in the best way, and you're all too eager to finally connect with him again.

Moving your hands to take off your shirt, you pull away from the kiss, much to his disappointment. As you tug the fabric off your body and over your head, you're left in your bra and jeans as you look up at him through long lashes and sultry eyes.

Spencer gasps at the sight of you and it takes all of his restraint not to just pounce you like an animal. A grin washes across his face and that devilish glint returns to his eyes once more.

“You are more beautiful than I ever remembered,” He says in a way that is both flirtatious but also full of love and adoration. He smiles as he looks up at you.

“Will you allow me the honor of taking those off of you?”

"Please.." Is all you can mewl out, lust washing over your entire body, just ready to be his again.

At your words, Spencer's eyes light up with excitement and he smiles widely before getting off the couch and kneeling down in front of you. He slowly reaches out to the clasp of your bra and undoes it before slowly sliding it down your arms and off of you. He doesn't even try to hide his joy, it's evident in just how much he's smiling and the glimmer in his eye.

"You're still so perfect, my love... Just like a goddess." He whispers as he reaches to undo your jeans and unzip them.

You lift your bottom a bit off the couch to help him pull your pants down your legs, moaning softly at the cool air hitting your skin. Your arms cross over your chest, not used to being exposed like this after so long.

Spencer can't take his eyes away from you as he takes in your body again and a deep, content sigh escapes his lips as he looks at you.

"God.. You're more beautiful than I ever thought was possible," He whispers in amazement as his eyes take in your exposed body. "And you're just as beautiful on the inside too. I’m sorry it took me so long to understand that.."

You can feel your breath hitching at his words, and a warm blush spreads over your cheeks, and you slowly lower your hands from over your chest, and rest them next to your bare thighs. You're only left in your panties now, sitting on the couch as he's kneeling in front of you.

Spencer's heart speeds up and he breathes heavily as he takes in the view in front of him. It's almost a little overwhelming, but all he can manage to do is take it in and admire you as he is left speechless for a moment. Finally, he comes to and he slowly moves in to touch your thighs. He takes his time and caresses them softly with his fingertips.

At his soft soft, you flinch slightly before letting your body relax. You trusted him, even after so long.

You can see the care and love in every soft caress that Spencer deals to your delicate body. His slow, steady touch is done with an intensity and a passion that almost seems to radiate off of him and you can feel it as his fingertips glide over the skin of your thighs. You don't know if you have ever felt someone be so delicate, slow, and methodical with something before but it’s beautiful, almost like he was dealing with a piece of art.

Subconsciously, you feel yourself slowly spreading your legs as you watch his large hands move towards your body, and take the bands of your underwear in his fingers. He looks up at you for approval.

Spencer's breath catches in his throat and you can see his jaw practically hanging open as he's overwhelmed by the view that's in front of him. "You're beautiful, darling.." He says like it's a prayer. He lets out a soft sigh, and he nods in approval before slowly taking the bands off and peeling them down your legs.

You moan now that you're fully exposed in front of him, and all previous confidence you had in you has completely dissipated under his intense glare. Once the air flushes against your bare, soaked cunt, it makes you shudder with a shiver.

Spencer's eyes narrow down on you and they burn with passion and emotion at seeing you there on the couch in front of him, all spread out and ready for him. He's lost in you for a minute and you can see it as his breath hitches and his jaw is still hanging half open. He still moves with deliberate, slow, and gentle touches as he moves his hand to the top of your thigh.

"Baby.. You're the most beautiful thing I've ever seen." He whispers breathless, almost as though he is stunned by just the sight of you.

Moving your legs, you hook your calf around the back of his head, pulling him closer to your spread thighs, and there's a devilish smirk on your face.

He’s caught aback by how you pull him closer to your core and his eyes go wide at the gesture. He seems a little bit surprised but in the end he doesn't argue, instead he lets out a small chuckle and moves in closer to the point that the front of his face is pressed up against your thighs.

"What are you doing to me, love?" He asks innocently with a smirk of his own as he looks up at you with an amused smile on his face. His warm breath is ghosting over your glistening hole, and it makes you all the more desperate for him.

“Making up for lost time.”

You pull him in closer with your leg latched around him, urging him to get on with it already. You hadn’t slept with anyone since the two of you broke up, and you never really had time to take care of yourself. But that’s what he was there for.

“Guess I better get to work, then..”

Spencer huskily spoke before leaning down and encasing your puffy clit between his spit slicked lips. The sensation instantly made you arch your back and jolt away from him, but he was quick to wrap his hands and arms under your thighs and over your hips, forcing you closer.

As he pulls you closer, his long wet tongue peeks out from his mouth and licks a broad stripe up your cunt, tasting just how much you missed him. With each lick, he was lapping up at your juices like a man starved, moaning at the way your slick coated his tongue.

Your lips were parted in a high pitched mewl, and you squeezed his head tighter with your legs. It made him dizzy, being suffocated by your shaking thighs and your gushing pussy, and he couldn’t have asked to be anywhere better.

The wet muscle between your folds was pistoning in and out of you like heavy machinery, working you just the way you needed. You could feel your cunt contracting around him, further gushing your arousal on his tongue.

Spencer was breathlessly moaning into your core, not being able to contain it. He was agonizingly hard in his pants, and it took everything in him to pry himself away from you. When he does, he deals one last slow, tortuous lick up your folds, before licking his lips and backing away.

You look up at him with pleading eyes, and he was already working on lifting you from the couch, quickly making his way into the hallway and where he knew your bedroom was.

You could feel your still soaked cunt rubbing against the silky fabric of his shirt, and couldn't help but grind your hips down against it. You had been so touch starved, that even this tiny bit of satisfaction made your breath catch in your throat.

He gently laid you down on the bed, making sure your head was rested against a pillow, before he practically tore the buttons off his shirt trying to take it off. And his pants were no different, the leather of his belt slid against the fabric of his dress pants, and as soon as you heard a small clank of metal against your floor, his pants followed suit.

When he was fully undressed, and crawled over your body until he was caging you underneath him, and the sight of his slightly sweaty hair falling over his face made your chest heavy with emotion.

Spencer leans down to kiss a line from your chin to your jaw, before stopping at your ear and lowly whispering into it.

“Think you can let me take care of you again, like old times?”

And it’s almost like his voice has put you under a trance, because before he can even finish, you’re nodding. It didn’t matter what he asked of you, you’d always say yes.

He lifts himself away from you with a small mirrored nod, before hoisting you by your waist and flipping your pliant body around, and propping a pillow under your stomach and hips.

The cool material pressed against your sweat sheened skin made you sigh, and his rough hands traced over the curves of your hips and ass like he was trying to relive all the nights that he used to have you like this; plush ass bent over in front of him, soaked cunt begging for attention, spread legs practically inviting him between them.

He swallows at the memories, and has a hard time convincing himself this is actually happening again. But he doesn’t dwell on it for too long, whether or not you’re really in front of him, or he’s just dreaming again, he can’t leave you like this. He loves you too much.

Trembling hands find the heavy bobbing length of his cock, and he grabs himself at the base, shakily squeezing in order to urge himself to not cum immediately. You deserved better than that. You deserved so much better than everything he could give you, and he promised himself he’d somehow redeem himself.

There wasn’t a better time to start than now, he thinks to himself as he tilts his hips forward to rub the leaking tip of his member against the silky folds of your cunt. And thank goodness he’s kneeling, because the second he felt soft, wet flesh against him, he would’ve collapsed.

“G-God.. Missed this..”

You lift your head slightly from where it’s pressed against the pillow, and look back at him with a lazy smile. Your voice is slighted muffled against the fabric, but he understands you.

“Didn’t get laid over the summer, Spence?”

You lift your ass higher, arching your back further so he would get the memo to fuck you already, and with a shake of his head and the cant of his hips, he’s easing himself inside of you, inch by inch.

“N-No.. Was always yours, love.”

The smile slowly falls from your face and you turn back around to bury your face in the pillow, trying to play it off with a pleasured sigh.

The two of you had stayed loyal to one another, despite everything. The thought made your heart swell and your cunt clench. He was unmistakably yours, and he always would be, no matter what.

The squeeze of your hole around him forced him inside of you quicker than he had planned on, and he had to bite his lip, breaking skin, to stop himself from finishing right there and then. He grunted as he tried to regain control over himself, and pushed himself the rest of the way inside of you.

When he was buried to the hilt inside of you, your eyes rolled back into your skull and you bit at the pillow to stop yourself from screaming. He filled you so perfectly, just as he used to. It felt right, like he belonged nowhere else but entirely swallowed by your cunt.

Spencer mutters out a few curses to himself before he’s draping himself over your body, pressing his firm chest against your damp back. His mouth is right by your ear, and you move your head to the side a bit to hear him better.

And hear him better you definitely do. You can feel the heave of his chest as he breathlessly begins to withdraw his cock from inside of you. The rub of his veiny, long length dragging along your soft walls had you cursing like a sailor.

As his breaths and moans quicken, so does the shove of his hips against your ass. He was so deep inside of you it was a miracle he was even able to pull himself out of you, but he managed to do it just fine. There were no complaints from you whatsoever as you felt him imprint the image of his tip right against your spot with every thrust he dealt to you.

Your hands were planted out in front of you, gripping at the fabric of the comforter when his own came and fully encompassed them. Spencer intertwined your fingers together as the visceral sound of your pussy sucking him deeper and deeper filled your ears.

Every time he humped into you, your clit brushed against the pillow, and it only made your cries of pleasure grow louder. The friction was dizzying, and you unknowingly clench around him impossibly tighter.

And he just about loses his mind at that moment. When he’s sucked flush against your body, he goes cross eyed and squeezes your hands in his, as if trying to ground himself. A guttural groan leaves him and it’s a few more moments before he’s panting in your ear as he starts to move once more.

He pulled back his hips to let his cock slide halfway out of you, before forcing himself back into that tight drenched cunt of yours. You can feel the spurt of arousal that leaks out of you at the force of his thrust, and you writhed at the feeling.

Your body shakes underneath his as the combined feeling of grinding yourself down against the pillow and how deliciously his length abused your cervix and puffy folds drives you mad. You were gasping for air, trading your desperate moans and whines for a chance at breathing.

“Sp-Spence.. Baby–please.”

There wasn’t one single thought in your brain that knew what you were begging for, but somehow, Spencer knew exactly what to give you.

“L-Love you so much, sweet thing..”

He moans out to you, then he leans down unbelievably closer to you. He lets go of one of your hands to wrap his own around your neck, grabbing at your throat as gently as he can to urge your face up to kiss him.

It’s a little hard to catch his lips with yours, as with each plow into you sent your body forward, along with how heavily he was breathing. But when you do, the two of you seal your lips together in a passionate, burning kiss.

His grip around your throat tightens a bit, and it’s enough to entirely set you off the edge. With one more ground of your hips against the pillow, and one more stamp of his cock against that little spongy spot inside of you, you’re suddenly soaking everything around you.

The wet noise of your release is all you and him can hear, as you’re spraying your arousal all over his hips, his cock, your thighs, and those poor sheets underneath the two of you. Your eyes cross almost comically at the feeling of your orgasm rushing through you, and Spencer is doing no better.

As he feels you squirt all over him, he curses into your ear and his entire body goes rigid. His hips still and he pushes himself as deep as he can possibly get before dumping everything he’s worth right into your soaked velvet core, sending ribbon after ribbon of his cum right against your cervix.

“F-Fuck.. Fuck.. fuck..”

All you can think about is how full you are. His cock is miraculously still hard inside of you, even though he’s emptied everything he’s got into you, and his thick cum is practically fighting for any room left you’ve got inside you.

Wet. Wet would be the only word to describe the scene you’ve found yourself in. Your body goes limp against the soaked bed, and his sweat drenched body finds itself at the same fate as he collapses against you. The hand around your throat loosens and snakes its way back to your lonely hand, intertwining them once again.

The both of you are panting against each other's faces for god knows how long, and neither of you have moved a muscle. You can feel his cum dripping out of you, running down the expanse of your thighs to join the puddles of your own arousal that pool against the bed.

With a groan, he slowly pulled out of you, and it was like pulling the plug to a well, because the second his cock left your hole, a gush of a mixture of your arousals flowed out of you.

He chuckles at the sight, while you just moan softly. Spencer lays down right next to you and pulls your body against his, so you’re chest to chest. He reaches to move your sweaty hair out of your face, pressing a warm kiss against your sticky cheek. When he speaks, his voice is strained and you wouldn’t be surprised if he had lost his voice.

“You know, he was talking about you during class today..”

The slight rasp and squeak in his voice is problematically attractive to you, but you don’t think you could deal with another orgasm after flooding your own bed.

You shake your head and groan softly at his words.

“Oh god, what’d he say?”

“He kept saying to everyone, ‘Mr.Reid is Mommy’s boyfriend!’”

The tone in his voice heightens as he tries his best to imitate your son's words. You groan again and close your eyes.

“And I’m guessing you didn’t say anything to him about it?”

Your voice is strained and laced with faux annoyance, but he sees right through it. Spencer huffs out a small laugh and presses a kiss to your forehead. With the arm that’s holding you against him, he squeezes your shoulders lightly, as if to tease you.

“Course I didn’t, can’t embarrass him like that..”

Rolling your eyes, you sigh and he pulls you closer to him as you shake your head.

“You’re the worst, I hope you know.” Your tone is playful and teasing, but you can feel yourself relaxing in his hold, allowing yourself to savor the moment for the time being.

“Maybe, but at least I’m ‘Mommy’s boyfriend’ again..”

#spencer reid #spencer x reader #spencer reid x reader #criminal minds #spencer reid smut #dom spencer reid #spencer reid x reader smut #dom spencer reid x reader #dom!spencer #dom!spencer reid #soft dom spencer reid #dom spencer #spencer reid angst

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missblissy · 6 months

Text

Bitter

Summary: A little drabble that takes place after the events of the game. In an intimate moment, Astarion has feelings of disgust within himself, and can't help but break down, talking to you about how he feels in his own skin. You stay supportive and help him through it.

Warnings: mentions of sex/domestic trauma, and panic attacks, but no actual smut. :) Only angst. Just angst. :)))

A/N: Hey hey! This is my first Astarion X Reader! I have been sucked in and now I'm just another one of his girlies :') I used a GN!Tav with no mentions of race/class/gender whatsoever. I really wanted to explore Astarion's sexual trauma, how he deals with it, and how he feels about it. I like to think Astarion desperately wants to be whatever he thinks "normal" is, and that he has a lot of shame and pained feelings towards not being able to be whatever this "normal" is. So I wanted to give him some angsty love/hurt and comfort. Enjoy!

Bitter. Like sour brandy. A perpetuating ick that crawled with insect-hooked feet into his skin. The itchy pain of ghostly memories was hot on his flesh. The crawling and coiling were unconditional. The buzzing of past words, actions, and regrets all flooded his mind. His body moved with a mind of its own in a sheer thought of panic. Moving. Repulsed. Unwanted even. But it still happened. Bittering the moment, souring the taste in his mouth, clutching at his undead heart with a rage he didn’t know he had, so soft and subtle that it built like a breeze over the ocean, hitting him like a typhoon.

But no sign foretold that in the sudden jerk and pull back of his own hand from yours. No longer interlocked. The recoil of his body from instincts rather than thought or sound mind. How he fell away from you, not into you. Both surprised him, his internal rage, and his body betraying him. A breath hitched in his throat as he was pulled back to the dimly lit room of reality.

Where was he again...? His mind was foggy, far way, but yet still brim and bright with paranoia. Flush and festering with one too many distant memories.

“Star-bite?” Your voice was always soothing… Enough to pull him from his mind. The fog far from leaving his eyes traveled with ease across his face in the dark room. No light was needed for you to see that.

The honey worry in your words where enough for his eyes to meet yours despite his shame to look away. It pained him even more with the love welling in those sweet pearls and staring up at him with nothing but patience. Seemingly something he didn’t have. A tender hand lifted to his head, “Are you okay?” You asked. He flinched away. Again. Not even twice now in five minutes. You didn't pull back, however, but rather left your palm open with patience.

Astarion closed his eyes and leaned his cheek into your hand for only a second as he tried to ground himself. Self-hatred bubbled in him. Embarrassment. Shame. It was all the same feeling at this point and it was unbearable.

He sat up and back on his legs, no longer looming over you as the moonlight bathed him in a glow. Glossy with an otherworldly shine you stared up at him, skin exposed to the night. And watched as his shoulders fell with a deep sigh of frustration as he threw his hands to his face as if to hide while shaking his head, “I’m sorry-” He started. You slowly sat up as well, a blanket bathing over your own equally nude body in a half attempt to cover up.

“I’m sorry.” He said it again, “I.. I Don’t know what came over me,” He tried to laugh it off, the fact he blanked out, flinched from your very touch, and found himself disgusted even with the person he loved most. You understood… This was hard for him. Sex. Intimacy. Anything that related to his body. So you so desperately wanted to comfort him.

Which could be a hard thing to do sometimes. Despite that, you tried to reassure him. This wasn't the first time this has happened, “You don’t have to do this, It’s fine-”

“It’s not fine!” Astarion snipped with a whisper that could have been a scream, “I’m… not fine.”

Bitter. It was always bitter on his tongue even when he laughed like it was as sweet as syrup before it turned into wine, “I don’t want to be… like this,” His voice carried on as he gestured to his entire being, “Every time. Every single time it doesn’t matter how much you love me I still feel disgusted in my own skin and that’s not fine!” He finally snapped out with a subtle sob, “I want to be able to do more than look and love you from an arm’s reach without wanting to burn my bones and erase the memory of everything I’ve ever been through every time I’m simply just touched by another!”

There wasn’t an easy way to hide the pain on your face. The bitter truth. Even you knew it and it still stung fresher than a wasp’s stinger on a knuckle. No amount of love you gave Astarion could fix the damage done to him over two centuries of torment. No kind words, no simple nothings, or gestures could undo any of it. Nor erase it. Even dead, Cazador would always be with him.

Astarion’s voice picked up, another twisted, sad, and painful laugh, “It sickens me… It kills me,” He sighed, “That even no matter how much I love you, adore you, want you, and need you…” Silver-flowing tears trickled along his cheeks, flicking with faints of pink, betraying his true nature. A vampire’s bloody tears never lied. A sour sniffle sucked back up into his nose as he spoke again, “No matter how much I care I can’t be fixed. I’ll always fucking be like this!”

He felt so trapped in his own skin. Disgusted with his own body. Hateful towards the person he was forced to become and betrayed by the thought of the person he could have been. It was a bitter cycle. And to think… This all started as a lovely night. But Astarion could just add this to the long list of many other things he’s ruined.

You sat on your knees, scooting just an inch ever so closer, “Astarion?” You held out your hand for him, palm up, open and there for him to take if he wanted. And of course, he did, “You will always be broken.” His eyes shot open and he stared at you, surprised by your honest take, “But you will also always be loved and cared for even if you are broken,” You squeezed his hand lightly and gave a soft smile, “And I don’t mind that you’re broken,”

Something told him you were lying but Astarion knew better than to believe that. It didn’t stop his little scoff as he averted his red gaze, “Even if I can’t fuck you?” Bitter. It was in his voice, the way he spat the words and laughed by adding, “I know I’m supposed to be this amazing, beautiful, and skilled piece of work but I’m no-”

“You’re not supposed to be anything,” You softly interrupted him, knowing exactly where he was about to go with this tangent, “You’re only supposed to be whatever you want to be. Not what others have made you out to be.”

He still couldn’t meet your gaze, but you could see the doubt in his eyes and the subtle pout of frustration on his lips, “Even if I don’t know what I want to be?” He spoke more softly this time, like it was mostly to himself so he could finally speak it out loud, “... Or who I am?”

“Absolutely,” You promised him. It broke your heart every time he had these moments, how hurt and torn he must feel inside you could only imagine. You leaned a little closer, enough to still give him his space, “I’m not with you for the sex, Astarion, it was never about the sex. So I could go the rest of my life waiting, or not waiting, or simply just being there,” You reached up and cupped his cheek again and pulled ever so gently to get him to meet your gaze, “You… Do. Not… have to have sex with me to keep me to stay with you,” A little glimmer in your eye sparked with affection, "I'll say it as many times as you need to hear it, you are enough just as yourself. And I'll say it forever, I love you for you, and that includes even when stuff like this happens."

That got the littlest smile out of him. He brushed his cheek deeper into your palm and found himself even leaning into your embrace, “You know I want to,” He huffed, “I just don’t think… I can… not without this feeling being there, that is," It was still bitter. He closed his eyes, head resting by your shoulder, nearly hiding in the crook of your neck, “I don’t want to be this way. It’s like I'm not even free. Like my time in the sun was worth nothing in the long wrong,” He quickly looked up at you and corrected himself, “I know that’s not true,” A bitter smile, “It just feels that way, sometimes,”

Your smile, bitter too, but sweet, with a sad nuzzle of your nose against his in a loving and comforting gesture, “I know, Star-bite,” Then a little kiss to his nose for reassurance, “But this,” And a tight squeeze of his hand, referring to just this simple act alone as you spoke, “You can do. And this is more than enough,”

#baldur's gate 3 #bg3 #astarion #astarion x reader #astarion x tav #astarion x you #astarion ancunin #angst #bg3 fanfiction #fanfic #pale elf #bg3 astarion #haha not me writing my first fic in YEARS #hahaaaa #aaaa #:)#no body look at me im in my feels #I just need some astarion angst to heal me its fine

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merakiui · 2 months

Note

https://www.tumblr.com/merakiui/744520913494671360/azul-who-was-spoiled-as-a-child-so-he-believes?source=share

Mera are you not going to elaborate 👀 on how,,,, absolutely entitled tako would be with his not so subtle complex and also riddle who deserves this okay? This is all he's truly ever wanted and by golly he will see it through to the end! He can get through any trial or tribulation so long as he can put it in you

And ofc the tweels are soooooo sex brained that ur opinion doesnt even matter, they dont even have to justifying themselves bc there is no justifying- they want you? They got you!

ACTUALLY........ now that you say this, my thoughts can be expressed more succinctly!!!!!

(cw: yandere, unhealthy behaviors/relationship, non-con, brief mention of slut-shaming, obsession, everyone is just really horrible here)

Azul's mother and stepfather who know their son could do no wrong, so they're shocked and appalled when you start accusing him of something so disgusting. How dare you accuse him of such a horrible crime! He would never! Your parent(s) sits down with the Ashengrottos to discuss and hopefully smooth things over. Azul is so sickeningly sweet and cordial throughout the entire thing while you look scared out of your skin. You insist he's lying, that you're telling the truth, that this is what happened. But then his stepfather threatens to take the matter to court. He knows the law. In the end, you're forced to drop it because your family can't afford a trial right now.

On your way out, Azul smiles at you. Even at twenty-something, he's still their spoiled brat. So entitled! Because he got everything he could ever want from his mother when he was a child, he automatically assumes he'll have you without any problems. But you just had to reject him in elementary. You just had to make a fool out of him in front of the class. It's your fault he couldn't have the one thing he's always wanted. But now he's so much better than his past self, and this time he's not taking no for an answer.

I think it would be a similar situation with Riddle. His mother refuses to believe her son could do any wrong, and the fact that you—some slut who shouldn't be near her Riddle to begin with—have the gall to throw around such wild accusations... You must have been raised so poorly to forgo basic manners and social etiquette. Riddle apologizes profusely for causing such trouble, but his story isn't the truth. You watch him lie to his mother's face and she believes him because he's Riddle Rosehearts, the paragon of pristine perfection. Of course if you and your parent(s) continue to press the matter, Mrs. Rosehearts will threaten to sue and when you're up against the Queendom of Roses's most renowned magical doctor with her prodigious son who could never do any wrong... Surely it's impossible from the start.

Riddle does feel bad. Somewhat. Deep down he knows it's wrong, but he's never had anything special before. Everything has always been chosen for him. He's never had friends. He's never had any hobbies. He's never had a life. And when he saw how radiantly you would shine while passing through campus with your group of friends, he just had to have you. You're like those forbidden strawberry tarts from his youth. He knows it's bad, but he can't help wanting to indulge even if it breaks rules. He's been so good. Surely he's allowed one treat! If it makes you feel any better, he was just as anxious as you were when he mixed that stuff into your drink.

And the twins... oh, the twins. >_< terrible. Their mother babies them incessantly. In canon, it's noted that she tends to call them frequently (nearly every day) because she worries. So she absolutely spoils them rotten. Those are her babies; of course she will! Papa Leech is just as adoring, I'm certain, but then I feel like his love is more of a "tough love" type. In any case, the twins won't accept the word no because they're so used to just getting things. Those sturgeon scales they proudly wear? Those were won through a fight. They want and then they take. It's simple.

So the fact that you'd tell either of them no... Unheard of. All of Floyd's smiley pretenses drop when you reject him. Jade can keep up his own placidity, if only to give you another chance so that you won't whine about how unfair it was in the aftermath: "Would you like to think more carefully about your decision?"

Whatever happens, you can't say or do anything. No one's going to speak ill against the Leech family. They can't. That's just how it is.

#twisted chit chat #tw: noncon

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heartfullofleeches · 1 year

Text

Healer Reader + Submissive Yandere Blurb

Warning: Suggestive, Spit, mentions of injury/self harm

A knock on your door sounds just after twelve. You run a small clinic through the comforts of your own home, patients coming in and out the door like flies. A gift bestowed upon at birth lead to this occupation; the power to heal even the most fatal of injuries with a single drop of your blood.

You unlock and open the front door, unsurprised at the shivering figure on your step. They were your most frequent visitor. It was almost nice to see them back sometimes; a confirmation that thoughts you sent back out into the world could survive on their own, but the damage dealt to their body washed away that selfish thought completely. There they stand; covered in bruises and cuts- just like every other time they've come.

"Evening."

The sound of your voice always gives them a chill. The euphoria of being in the presence of their beloved; along with the fear that you'll someday figure out their sinful crimes of passion.

"H-hey...."

"Are you going to tell me what happened this time?"

No response. You usher them inside.

"Come on."

You prepare a cup of tea while you retrieve your supplies. Your patient takes the cup with hesitant grip, knowing that some day in the past your lips touched the rim of their mug. They take a few small sips as you take a needle from your kit; sterilizing it with an alcohol swab. Their mouth becomes dry despite the soothing liquid that travels down their throat; lips parched for a more soul filling kind of thirst.

"Y/n?"

"Yeah?"

"I remember one time... You said that any fluid of yours can heal a person?"

You pause, needle poking the flesh of your thumb as you beckon for their cup, holding your bloody finger over it. "Yeah."

They swallow hard, eyes trained on your lips as you lick your thumb clean; saliva clung to your fingers. The taste of your blood was sweet enough, but just like anyone with an addiction; they craved more.

"Can... can you use your spit?"

You set the needle down; unsure of what you just heard. "What?"

"I... want you to spit on me. My mouth.... if that's not to much to ask."

You think for a moment; obviously off put by the request, but seeing your own goals beneath it as well.

"If I do this, do you promise to take better care of yourself?"

They nod.

"...Alright."

You round the table, lifting their head up by their jaw. They open their mouth, tongue hanging free as you part your lips. You build up a wod of spit, looking them in the eyes before allowing it to fall on their outstretched muscle. They flinch as the liquid makes contact, mixing with their own saliva as they roll it back on their tongue. It melts against the walls of their mouth, healing the wounds on the outer layer and traveling through the rest of their body to heal every other affliction.

The patient digs their nails into their forearm, prolonging the healing process as they tear off small chunks of their skin. Shameful bliss fills them from the faint disgust in your eyes, and the feeling of your influence spreading through their entire being. For good measure, you spit directly down the back of their throat, earning a lustful moan from the mess of a creature.

"Satisfied?" You ask, wiping the trail of wetness off your mouth.

They nod, licking the corners of their mouth were your fingers once were. "Very."

#Suggestive #yandere #yandere x reader #yandere oc #yandere imagines #yandere scenarios #yandere headcanons #yandere insert #yandere x you #yandere blurb #yandere x darling #yandere x y/n #sub yandere #tw yandere #yandere writing

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xoxomoonlightxoxo · 3 months

Text

Don't Get Attached | Part 5

➪ Playlist (Spotify)

➪ W/c: 2398

Remind Me Why We're Taking a Break?

As the warm beams of sunlight scatter on my exposed skin, I melt deeper into the soft duvet before his grip tightens around my waist. And by his, I mean Jungkook. And by Jungkook, I mean the guy I promised myself to not get attached to. Way to go y/n, you really pulled through with that one … But, I swear, one minute we were just talking and then the next, his chains were dangling on top of me. In short, I blame the alcohol.

Nonetheless, the damage was done and now, I have to pay the price by swallowing down whatever is left of my dignity before doing the infamous walk of shame towards the kitchen. At this point, I don’t even know where half my clothes are, which is concerning because I wasn’t wearing much to begin with. So, Jungkook’s white button-up would have to suffice for my little trip. Tiptoeing towards the fridge, I’m careful not to wake Koo’s sleepy head, before exhaling a deep sigh at the depressing sight of his empty fridge. How does one live off of beer, shredded mozzarella and strawberry milk? Moreover, how does one stay so fit and toned while indulging in such a bizarre nutritional palette? Beats me.

Scanning the top shelf, I audibly gasped out of relief upon seeing a carton of eggs, even if there were only four left. Challenge accepted, Koo. In no time, I was oiling the pan while whisking some milk into the yellow, homogeneous mixture seasoned with some pepper, salt, and dried parsley.

[Narrator's POV]

Stretching his body, Jungkook is saddened by the empty space beside him. Tracing his steps back to you, his half-awakened self follows the delicious smell coming from the kitchen. No one has ever cooked for him. Or, at least, not out of their own intentions or desire. Thus, to him, your gesture is unfamiliar, but deep down, greatly craved.

Focusing his softened gaze on your body, he takes a moment to admire the way his button-up cuts off right at your thighs. Although smirking at the sight, he isn’t too pleased by the fact that the rest of your body is still covered. Not enough exposure for his liking. If it was up to him, he would have you right there on the countertop, pretty whimpers bouncing off the walls.

“Morning gorgeous,” Jungkook whispers into your ear, pulling your body closer to his bare chest. Leaving traces of soft kisses on your neck, his veiny hands intertwined with yours before pinning your body against the counter shelves. Now face to face, the space between you two has become less apparent, tension rising at the way your forms mould into one singularity.

[Y/N's POV]

“Koo,” I whine into the needy kiss, eyes searching his darkened orbs.

“Yes, baby?” he replies in a raspy tone. I didn't think someone's morning voice could have such a chokehold on me, but Jungkook's is definitely doing something. Please y/n, focus.

“Koo, we can't keep doing this,” I manage to let out.

“Doing what?”

“You know, ignoring the elephant in the room?” my tone is firm but shaky. Nonetheless, I mean business, so my eyes maintain focus on his hooded gaze despite the suffocating tension between us.

“Well, it's not my fault your thighs got me all horny, but I think I'm managing just fine,” he says with a grin, looking down at his grey sweatpants.

“Quite literally, I hope you trip down the stairs and never recover,” I scoff, rolling my eyes at his teasing before pushing his hands off of me. I swear Jungkook is the epitome of a man-child, not one fibre of his being has the potential of being serious. Disgusting. Pushing past his broad shoulders I manage to get a few steps in before being pulled back on his lap as his doe eyes sparkle under the kitchen lights.

“I'm sorry y/n, what did you actually mean?” he says with a slight chuckle, moving a few hair stands out of my flustered face.

“Well, we can't just pretend like nothing happened. You cheated, Koo …” I explain softly, nibbling on my lip as the nerves kick in. Jungkook knows he messed up. He might not be in tune with his own feelings but he does care about mine. Or at least, I thought. Nonetheless, I could tell the topic made him backtrack his own thoughts, taking the time to formulate something morally acceptable.

“Y/n, that didn’t mean anything to me. It was a mistake, I promise,” he explains, gentle with his touch as his hand caresses my exposed thighs which are now covered in goosebumps.

“Your mistake hurt. A lot.”

“What do you want y/n?” he asks hushly, tightening his grip on my waist as our bodies inch closer. Noticing my scattering eyes and furrowed eyebrows, his gaze softens.

“A break. We need a break.” I whisper, feeling my throat slowly tighten. I don’t want a break. But, I also don’t want to simply sweep this under the carpet. If Jungkook truly cares, he will understand where I’m coming from. If he doesn’t, well, then I guess, we were never meant to be.

“Is that what you really want?” he replies with a soft smile, our faces, now inches away from each other.

“Yes,” I manage to let out, eyes lowering to our intertwined hands as his thumb caresses my skin.

“Break it is,” Jungkook whispers, leaning in to place a soft kiss on my forehead before locking his eyes with mine for the last time. It hurts. It genuinely hurts. Why does he suddenly have to be so sweet and sincere?

“JEON FUCKING JUNGKOOK,” I yell out from his room upon seeing the plethora of notifications popping up on my phone. I guess it died last night because I didn’t hear any of them, and quite frankly, was too occupied with Jungkook, if you know what I mean.

“It better be something really serious for you to use my full government name,” he chuckles, rushing into the room with strawberry milk in one hand and an apple in the other.

“It’s Bomi and Jason’s wedding tomorrow, I completely forgot,” I whine, burying my face into his pillow as hopeless whimpers leave my mouth. Bomi and I are high school friends and Jungkook is Jason’s personal trainer. I was kindly asked to be one of her bride’s maids and naturally, Jungkook was supposed to be my plus one. But, the problem or should I say problems, is that 1) I am not ready at all and 2) Jungkook and I are technically now on break.

“Well, don’t look at me. You’re the brains here, I just do what you tell me to do,” he replies with a grin before plopping himself beside my distressed self. Scratch everything I said about his sincerity before. I meant none of that. Jungkook is still a man-child.

“Okay, then listen to me when I tell you to drive me home, immediately. I still need to figure out what to wear,” I sigh, shaking my head in disbelief. How could I forget? I was so caught up in the whole cheating scandal that I almost missed my best friend’s wedding. Way to not get attached y/n!

Finding my dress under Jungkook’s pile of boxers, I quickly change out of his button-up, feeling his gaze on my exposed figure. Eyeing his favorite view up and down, he leans his head back before letting out a deep sigh.

“You know, we never discussed the length of this break …”

- -

Softening my curls, I touch up my makeup before rushing out the door hearing Jungkook send a few honks upon arriving at the entrance. Initially, I was going to just take a taxi, but he insisted on driving us. None of our friends know about our little break, so the least we could do is act the part. Suited up, Jungkook looks very put together, handsome even. And, as our eyes meet, his gaze softens, opening the passenger door.

“Thank you,” I say hushly, as he leans in closer to buckle my seatbelt before turning his face towards mine. Lips inches apart, I can feel the flush rising up my cheeks. He is such a tease it’s physically unbearable. Nibbling on his lip ring, Jungkook takes a moment to appreciate the way the dress pushes up my cleavage, reminiscing all those times his hands did the same.

“What?”

“Nothing, just admiring the view,”

“Oh, yeah? Well, how is it?” I tease back, tilting my head as my hands slowly slide up to his neck, intertwining in his curls.

“Irresistible, I fear,” he whispers softly into my ear, nibbling on the soft skin before his hooded eyes search mine. This will be really fun, I can just feel it. Not only are we lying to each other, but now, we are also lying to our friends.

- -

“Y/n! Jungkook! You guys made it!” Jason greets us with a big smile, pulling Jungkook into a tight hug. Fixing my dress, I stand awkwardly to the side, admiring the beautiful setup. It's exactly how Bomi envisioned it, as hues of gold and white paint every inch of the hall.

“Y/n, how have you been? Bomi was worried about you,” Jason’s voice brings me back to reality as I divert my attention to the two buddies.

“I'm good, no need to worry, just got caught up in some things,” I explained with a soft smile, peaking at Jungkook’s nervous hands. It's gonna be a long night of pulling various excuses out of thin air before we can go back to our established break. Buckle up y/n.

Taking my purse Jungkook and I separate ways as he heads to the seating area while I help Bomi with her last-minute touch-ups.

“Bomi, you look so ethereal,” I say softly, in complete awe of the beauty standing in front of me. Jason is one lucky man, let me tell you. She has recently chopped off her hair as a symbol of letting go of the past. An impulsive decision at first that ended up serving her right as she now looks better than ever.

“You really think so?” Bomi replies nervously, eyes swelled with tears as I fix her veil.

“I know so, love,”

- -

As the venue doors open, guests turn their attention towards the adorable flower girl, Bomi’s little sister, Bae. Trying her best to not trip, she leaves behind a trail of pink rose petals before running towards Bomi’s warm embrace, embarrassed by the sudden rush of attention. And, as the pianist begins her cue, the bride’s maids make their way down the floral aisle. Feeling my eyes swell with tears, I focus on some deep breathing before spotting Jungkook in the sea of people, noticing his gaze soften as my chest heaves up. Something about him calms me down. Maybe, it was his smile, or maybe, his doe eyes that followed my every move, making sure I got to my spot safely before finally allowing his body to relax in his seat.

After the vows and the tearful I do’s it was time to take pictures, as Bomi, Jason and their photographers navigated everyone out to the beautiful scenery by the beach. Standing beside Bomi, we intertwine our hands, exchanging soft smiles before the photographer tells everyone to scooch in closer, wanting to capture the breathtaking sunset behind us.

“Jungkook, get in here,” Jason yells out, motioning him to stand beside me. Holding my purse, Jungkook waves his hands with a nervous chuckle, initially declining the offer before being commanded by the photographer to do so immediately. Nodding a quick yes, he rushes towards my stiff body. Sensing my discomfort he maintains a slight gap between us, knowing dam well that’s the last thing he wants right now. But, none of it matters, because we are on a break remember? So, he gulps down his sinful desires, body remaining craving my touch.

“Sorry, but could the gentlemen in the middle move closer?” the photographer says, finger pointing towards Jungkook, whose eyes lower to mine searching for permission before I give him a slight nod. Careful with his touch, he places his hands on my waist, grip tightening as our bodies inch closer. Feeling his breath on my neck, there’s virtually no room for me to move, remaining enclosed by his broad shoulders.

“It would be in your best intention to stop moving y/n,” he whispers into my ear as I manage a slight shuffle in place, feeling the bulge in his pants rub against my lower back.

“I can’t, you're basically in my ass,” I snap hushly, looking up at his hooded eyes.

“Don’t do that,”

“Do what?”

“Don’t give me ideas,” he grins, leaning closer before placing a soft kiss on my shoulder. You know, the devil works hard but I swear, Jungkook works harder.

- -

“One, two, three, go!” everyone counted down, as cheers and applause filled the hall once Bomi threw her bouquet. I swear, it’s as if the scene played out in slow motion. From crying children, to drunk uncles, everyone played a role in this mess. I was no exception, of course, running towards the circle of bride’s maids whose arms reached out towards the incoming bundle of pink flowers. Although I wasn’t there for the bouquet, it somehow found its way to me, landing perfectly in my trembling arms. And, just like that, I was now encircled by words of cheers, best wishes and congratulations being shouted at my flustered face.

Searching the crowd for Jungkook, I find him standing by one of the paintings with his tie undone, balancing two glasses of champagne in one hand.

“Well, I guess I’m next,” I chuckle, waving the flowers in front of him, feeling my cheeks flush with embarrassment.

“Does this mean our break is over?” he grins, pulling my body closer to his before leaning into a needy kiss. This time, however, I didn't fight back. Giving in to the suppressed desires as my hands intertwine in his dishevelled hair before looking back at his darkened eyes.

“We can always begin again … some other time … in the near future,” I whisper, tracing little hearts on Jungkook’s burning chest, feeling him smile into the kiss.

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rainbowmothed · 2 months

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a collection of angsty quotes that reminded me of vaggie. inspired by @ lookinginsidemymind on tiktok.

“i think i was born to sting,”

but i don't mean to.”

“im not a violent dog. i dont know why i bite”

“how the absence of someone can feel like the absence of myself.”

“wish you were here. you could tell me what to do.”

“i am angry, i am unlovable. i am mostly afraid those things are true.”

“please stop yelling at me please scratch my back please stick up for me in a conversation i am listening to from the top of the stairs. you are my girlfriend, act like it”

“i wear the army's anger like a hand-me-down. the hotel says it does not look good on me”

“i do not know how to love something without sinking my teeth into it”

“i am the girl screaming. i am also the girl begging to not be screamed at.”

“what if i become angry like my past self. what if i already have?”

“i would do anything to become someone worth keeping around”

“why are you running away?”

“i must search every corner of the world to search for the girl i once was. to get rid of her, once and for all”

“i am so adam's top girl it hurts. can you tell?”

“i love you.”

“sometimes, i think love and violence are the same”

“if my past was a tooth, id tie a string around it and slam the door on those memories.”

“but it is not. i cannot.”

“i am flying way too close to the sun and id like to say the heat burning my skin makes me feel alive but i really just want the blisters to prove ive been hurt”

“i am messy. everything i let go of has claw marks. i am stubborn. i have never met a hill i wouldn't die on”

“i've been holding onto this grief so long it feels as familiar as the turns into my neighborhood when i've fallen asleep in the car.”

“i want to wake up now. i want to let it go”

“how could i forget? does the tree forget the axe?”

“i stuffed myself into this cocoon. now i beg for transformation”

“thank you for putting flowers in my messy room im sorry for making you mad at me i didn't mean to but unfortunately there's something wrong with me”

“im trying my best im trying my best that's all i can do”

“sometimes this girl's best is judging everyone else to distract herself from the fact that she hates herself more than she could ever hate anything else”

“i love like a dog. not in the cute, fluffy way; in the discarded, disgusting mutt way. i whine for any scraps of affection i am given”

“sometimes, you are so accustomed to hate you cannot fathom love. you reject it.”

“i don't think my creator knows my favorite color. or my birthday.”

“i wish i could look at myself in the mirror without crying”

“i love you with what in me is unfinished; i love you with what in me is still changing”

“someday i will sail away from the shame i carry. for now, i am merely a passenger”

“you're holding onto something that doesn't exist anymore”

“unclench your fists.”

“this grief isnt tangible but oh god how i can feel it”

“this is an automated message, please don't reply. we are calling in regard to your father”

“we mean your creator. we mean the man that raised you. we mean the man that said he raised you.”

“sorry, we dont know what we mean, because you don't know what we mean”

“we apologize for any miswording. we apologize the way they will never apologize. when will you accept that?”

“sometimes i dont want to get better just to show you how bad it was”

“i am afraid that if i open myself i will not be able to stop pouring. why do i fear becoming a river? what mountain gave me such shame?”

“you keep asking if i would die for you. i keep asking why you want me dead”

“good enough to grab. they always put me back, though. 🐟”

“im sorry for saying sorry”

#vaggie #hazbin vaggie #hazbin angst #hazbin hotel angst #hazbin hotel #vivziepop #hellaverse #lesbian #chaggie #chaggie angst??#fallenwings #lute x vaggie but they're exes #vaggie angst #sad thoughts #poetry #hazbin poetry #moth's hazbin poetry

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hereticdrws · 2 months

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Aquarium date w mizu

A/n: did I just narrate my visit at the aquarium and add mizu? Possibly did I use quotes from me and my sister? Also maybe anygays I hope yall enjoy ☺️🤞 should I write a real fic w this? I alr got 1 in the works cough cough baseball mizu

Warnings: NOT PROOF READ idk I don't think there r any but lemme know if there r

Loser!Mizu x (masc?) Reader I tried to make it v neutral but I kinda self projected

Enjoy 😉

𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟 𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟

◇Def spends wayyyy to long on parking trying to find the perfect spot no matter how many times she's been

◇Tells you the scientific names of all the fish on the banners on the way in that are used to attract visitors

◇Tells you every fish related joke she knows while waiting in line to get in

◇Cannot stand up straight in the line to save her life she has to lean (but I mean who tf doesn't why tf would I stand up str8 when I can lean)

◇Tries to convince u to let her bring a fish home (you're not even allowed to)

◇Took 1000 pics of the baby penguins

◇(Also asked to take one home)

◇Does not shut up abt the smell

◇Says every cute thing in the exhibit looks like you

Ex:

After walking past the toucan exhibit we make our way toward the baby monkeys per mizus request, walking hand in hand and shoulder to well head because lord knows mizu is tall as shit.

Once we arrive at the monkey exhibit for the first time since arriving mizu releases her hand from yours

"Omg babe it looks just like you!" She eagerly points out

"It does??" You raise an eyebrow at the 5'7 woman towering you, questioning her ecstatic expression

"Yeah!!"

◇Tried to provoke the toucan

"OMG Y/N ITS THE BIRD FROM THE MEME" spends at least 15 minutes trying to find the meme

◇Made you carry her hoodie bc it was so humid

"Babe I told you not to bring it 🙄"

"I thought it'd be cold ☹️"

"Why are there only birds I hate birds"

"Because we're in the bird exhibit babe 😐"

"oh"

◇Pouts when she can't find the animal in the exhibit

"Babe did you know poison dart frogs are poisonous?"

Dies

"Babe stop ☹️"

◇Stuck her hand in the water 'bcuz she can'

"I bet I could survive that jump"

"No tf you wouldnt?"

◇You had to pay for the slushies bc she forgot her wallet (which she definitely owns) ((she doesn't own a wallet))

"BABE THERES FUCKING CROCODILES"

"Dude there's a kid right nxt 2 u"

"Babe wtf"

"What"

"Your mouth looks like a traffic cone"

☹️

◇Constantly asked what would happen if she threw smthing at an animal

Ex:

"What I'd I threw my slushie at the crocodile"

"I'll disown you"

◇Looks in disgust at all the babies and children

◇I cannot express how much she'd compare you to ever cute animal in the exhibit

◇Leans into u when she gets bored like srsly u are supporting this woman's entire body weight

◇Do not forget how CLINGY she is (totally not self projecting) she would not let go of your hand, not to mention she is constantly pressed to your side esp when walking she is js leaning into you (same 😔) she cannot walk in a straight line for the life of her

◇Mizu is either the most shameful person you've ever met or the most shameless

No inbetween

◇The facts omg So. Many. Facts it's acc insane

"Did you know the 'type of animal' is acc a direct descendant of-"

◇Has a donkey Kong lanyard u drag her around by so she doesn't wander off

"Omg that's literally us in another universe"

(Pic credits go to yours truly 😌)

"Omg yn that's a stone fish the one from the meme 😁🫵"

"What meme?"

😨 (she only scrolls on YouTube shorts or insta reels) ((idk why she's shocked))

◇Constantly pointing out how ugly a fish is

"If it were human it could NEVER pull you"

"???"

◇Spent at least an hour in the shark exhibit telling you the scientific names of all the diff species of them and where they originated from

◇Millions of pics of them everytime a shark swam by at least 25 pics would be taken

◇Everytime you tell her to pise for a pic with one of the exhibits she either puts up a thumbs up with the dumbest smile you've ever seen or accidently flips you off then rushes over to you drowning your face in kisses and apologizing over n over

◇Sitting/leaning every chance she gets (and pulling u down w her every chance she gets) ((she is so clingy I can't express it enough))

"When do we get to go to the gift shop?" ◇She asked every 2 seconds if she's not telling you the most outrageous 'facts' she learned from who tf knows where

"That bird is big as shit 😐"

◇Tries to stand like a flamingo falls not even 2 seconds later claiming you pushed her

◇Literally RAN for the shark plushies once yall got to the gift shop

◇Could not decide which one to get so u js bought her all of them bc ur so sweet/you couldn't decide which one to get so she bought you all of them (whichever u want)

◇Got lost in the parking lot trying to find yalls car

◇Yall stopped at chic fil a on your way home

◇Once yall got home you both changed into comfy clothes and layed down and cuddled ofc yall cuddled with mizus ridiculous amount of new shark plushies

𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟 𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟

A/n pt2: thank you for reading I hope yall like this ☺️

#blue eye samurai #mizu blue eye samurai #bes mizu #mizu #art #bes x reader #blue eye samurai x reader #blue eye samurai fanart #digital art #sketchbook

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saintblk · 9 months

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*ೃ— ANTISOCIAL | NANAMI KENTO

warnings: foul language, public (?) sex, p in v, vaginal penetration, some more slut-shaming, dom!nanami, edging, unprotected sex (wrap it up kiddos!), creampie, degradation(?), college au— gender neutral afab reader, considered to be black + thick

word count: 1.7k

note: i haven’t written this much smut in so long omg. kinda a part two to this post but it’s not absolutely necessary that you read both. lmk what you think tho and ty for reading:)

PROOFREAD BUT LIKE DISTRACTEDLY

MINORS AND AGELESS BLOGS DO NOT INTERACT

“WHY AM I HERE?” nanami droned.

his voice carried notes of exhaustion and abhorrence, the two having developed as soon as he left the comfort of your apartment. after having been kicked out of the dorms due to a noise complaint, much to his embarrassment, you quickly suggested he move in with you. skeptical but with no other choice, he agreed.

it seemed you enjoyed going out far frequently than he expected, dressed in something short and revealing nearly every night. and before he could say something, you were rushing out muttering something about ‘the girls waiting for you.’

he supposed that was the main reason why he was sitting on a couch in a crowded house with you on his lap. at some point he got curious. what could possibly be better than staying in and enjoying one another’s company?

now, nanami was not an insecure person by any means. sure he had his bouts of self-consciousness, as everyone did, but never in his life had it gone past that point. but seeing the way several party goers looked at you quickly put him off ease. they leered at you and attempted to pick up conversation despite noticing your place on nanami’s lap. it was quite annoying, really. and the fact that you did nothing about it made it worse.

“you said you wanted to go out,” you argued. “besides, i’m having fun.”

“yes, i’m sure all the attention you’re getting is exciting.” though he didn’t mean to, nanami’s tone exposed his irritation.

meeting his gaze, you scrunched up your face. “what is that supposed to mean?”

“nothing,” he scoffed before moving you off his lap. “m’gonna use the bathroom.”

before you could argue, kento was already pushing past the several sweaty bodies pressed up against one another. amidst all the couples making out in the hallways and on the staircase, he was lucky enough to find the bathroom empty. with a huff, he plopped down on the toilet cover and put his head in his hands.

the peace he thought he had was cut short by a soft rapping on the bathroom door. despite opting to ignore it, it started up again, this time harsher. as he got up the knocking persisted, adding to his displeasure.

when he swung the door open he didn’t expect to be pushed back into the bathroom. he found you standing before him after locking the door, a stern look on your face.

“what is your problem?” he snarled, probably more vexed by the way the entire evening was going and not with you.

“my problem?” you parrot. “you’re the one throwing a fit for no reason. if you didn’t want to come, you could’ve stayed home.”

kento glowered down at you in a show of ire as he considered what your nights out without him were like. “what, did i keep more guys from approaching you? i bet they would’ve came in flocks if i wasn’t here.”

“is that what this is about?” you inquired, bewilderment evident from both your tone and the expression on your face. “you’re jealous, is that it?”

with a scoff, kento proceeded to roll his eyes and cross his arms over his chest. nanami kento did not get jealous; he was far above such a disgusting feeling.

“please. as if these little boys could do anything for you.”

something glimmered in your eye, something that should’ve been a telltale sign that you were up to no good. that suspicion was proved when you shifted your focus to your freshly manicured nails.

“that’s not what they think.”

jaw clenched and blinded by anger, nanami’s hand shot up to your neck. in a flash you were pressed against the door, staring up his stone like face. before you could raise any questions or concerns, he quickly rid you of your panties and bent you over the sink.

“talk too damn much,” he grumbled. just as you opened your mouth to argue, he shoved your balled up undergarment into your mouth. “need me to shut you up, is that it?”

a loud slap echoed between the walls of the bathroom when his palm met your round bottom. at the sight of your glistening lips nanami hummed in what you could only assume was satisfaction.

“bet you get off to people coming up to you,” another slap resounded from under his hand. “if you’re an attention whore you should’ve said so.”

upon noticing you clenching your teeth, kento frowned and slid his hand down to your warm cunt. a thick finger traced a line from your clit to your entrance, finally eliciting a fraction of the noise he was expecting.

“you’re gonna stay quiet for me, aren’t you?” he questioned, lips quirking upwards with a roguish grin.

you nod frantically as his finger brushes against where you need it most. the coils forming in your lower abdomen are getting worse, encouraging you to push your hips back in an attempt to feel something. anything.

but nanami tuts and steps back, removing his hands from your body all together. when you whine he simply looks at you through the mirror, an uninterested expression on his face.

“if you move again i won’t touch you at all, do you understand?”

with tears forming on your mink lashes, you nod and meet his gaze in the mirror. nanami hums in approval, takes a step forward, and sends another smack against your ass. you clench around nothing and he relishes at the sight.

“i should walk out right now…leave you here without giving you what you want.”

a tearless sob escapes your throat and a ghost of a smile flashes across his features. “don’t worry, darling. i won’t do that to you. that would be far too cruel wouldn’t it?”

before you can think of answering, his middle finger sinks into you. you’re warm and tight and quickly dripping onto the rest of his hand. so he adds another finger and another in order to stretch you out.

calloused pads of his fingers rub and stroke, easily finding that spot that makes you putty in his hands. your legs begin to shake soon after, a telltale sign that you’re close to release. it builds up in the base of your spine and makes your whole body buzz. and just when you can practically taste rapture, kento removes his fingers for a second time.

you feel hollow—empty, and it was apparent from the way you slumped against the sink. your worry however, was for naught. you don’t notice nanami shedding his pants and boxers or positioning his fat tip behind you. as you gathered the words to complain, you felt him begin to push into you.

another mewl finds it’s way past the fabric in your mouth and into his ears. slowly, he pushed the rest of his shaft into you until his pelvis was pressed against your bottom. letting out a deep, guttural sound nanami wastes no time pulling out before slamming back in again. leaving you no chance to recover, he forces your gummy walls to part for him.

despite his initial request, you can’t hold back the saccharine sounds he’s drawing out from you. and for once, kento doesn’t mind. should anyone walk past the bathroom, they’ll hear you, moaning in ecstasy from some dick. perhaps all the attention you receive was due in part to the fact that kento never really lay claim on you.

with that very task in mind, he wraps an arm around your collarbone to grab your neck. the sight of yourself in the mirror, drool dripping from the undergarment in your mouth and tears streaming down your face, drives you over the edge. at the familiar squeeze of your warmth, nanami groans once more and thrusts harder into you. with his free hand he lifts his shirt and puts the hem in between his teeth as to not obscure the sight of your bodies attached.

“you gonna cum?” he growls, pulling your face back to look at him.

with knitted eyebrows you nod and absently hold onto the strong hand around your throat. for a moment all nanami can do is stare down at you while he rocks his hips into your backside. neither of you know what came over him when he pulled the panties out of your mouth to place a sloppy kiss on your lips. your moans, increasing in volume, made it impossible to keep up with the kiss. a clash of teeth and tongue had saliva dribbling down both your chins.

“f-fuck,” you managed to bite out. “s’too much ken…”

though you would’ve liked him to slow down, he keeps his harsh pace until your eyes are rolling back and your body goes limp. after the several assaults on your cunt, it comes as no surprise when your orgasm comes with a shuddering body and a gush of your juices on his member.

his lips quirk upwards just enough for you to recall later on when he finds amusement in your pleas for him to slow down.

“this is what you wanted, isn’t it? doing so good,” he husks. “my pretty little slut—you’re gonna take it, right?”

it’s you who pulls him in for a kiss this time, murmuring agreements and confirmation into his mouth. nanami can feel his own high rushing at him as you clamp around him for the third time. his movements become hasty and rapid. just as you cry out from yet another wave of pleasure, a strangled moan comes from kento and you feel his warm seed fill you to the brim. after a slow pump or two, he pulls out of you and watches his kids slowly leak from your entrance. with two fingers, he gathers the mess on your brown lips and grabs your face once more.

without hesitation you open your mouth and allow him to wipe his fingers on your tongue. energy spent, the next kiss you meet for is languid and slow. his tongue dances around your’s and nanami tastes himself before exploring the rest of your mouth.

“what did you need to bring me out for?” he hums, looking down at you with a flushed face. “we could have done this at home.”

you huff and let your body rest on the sink only to catch a glimpse of yourself in the mirror. your braids sat untouched on your head, but the rest of you was in disarray. your dress was wrinkled and out of place, your makeup was smudged, and you could barely hold yourself up.

“now remind me what we were arguing about.”

#nanami kento x reader #nanami kento x black reader #nanami kento smut #jjk x reader #jjk x black reader #jjk smut #anime x black!reader #collection :: jjk #꒰ slim’s works ꒱#RAAAHHH ITS FINALLY OUT

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mizz-sea-nymph · 2 months

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Attention: if you are not @hebemina then I advise you don’t respond to this cause just by that you’ll embarrass yourself by proving my points and being literal proof.

Id like to say that me and her where friends but during the time we where friends she had her weird moments and her alright moments especially when we first met, it wasn’t her acting like the adult it was me, funnily enough I started referring to her as a sister cause that’s what I do when I worry about how a person views me, it was clear I was uncomfortable and got my friend who remember the first encounter and how I reacted to this ask a while back, hell I even asked them how to respond to the ask cause I was in such a panic. When looking at it, I’m genuinely disgusted how she didn’t even apologise or better herself, everyone keeps saying she’s better but she isn’t and it’s really sad how harmful it is especially to the people she spoke with that she made uncomfortable.

(She was drunk and I was mortified and didn’t even know how to respond so I danced around it I’ll admit that but thing is she didn’t even apologize)

Now it’s hard to show this from the past cause of personal stuff but since some people already know about it I guess I just gotta grow some balls. I’m showing this from the past cause I came across it a while ago and got disgusted, I was a child and I was mortified so much so I asked my friends how to respond to it and was so ashamed and embarssed I thought I deleted this but luckily didn’t cause one can realize how horrid this is. What’s funny is a DECENT AND SENSITIVE AND CARING PERSON would apologise! You never apologized Mina! and this wasn’t the first time you got weird with me! Seriously! Atleast have the decency to say sorry! But not just this you’ve many times turned our platonic and happy convos to something straight up weird, I ended up deleting many on my blog cause of unlike you I feel embarrassed!

I went through a hard year and having someone like this disturb me online was the icing on the cake but of course I was too embarssed and scared to say anything about it cause I feared I’d be yelled at, by your followers, yeah allot of you made me not even want to stand up for myself and say “what you are doing is rubbing me the wrong way” despite her knowing my age, and despite me reminding her constantly at that time I kept saying “haha I’m in high school”. So to the people reading this, dont make her seem like she Dosent know the age of her followers cause she lurks, she lurks around even accounts she has now ignored just cause said acount has a different opinion then her.

Thought I didn’t notice? I easily noticed how you and @hanaiikiki or whatever TF her name is now stopped talking to me as a whole and started ignoring my existence, even when I was geniunely trying to be nice etc, you stopped when I voiced my opinion about Loki, Hana going as far as telling people she Dosent know me (girl I got ears everywhere, when I heard this I was shocked cause I thought we where good!) despite me clearly stating as a continuation I don’t care what anyone likes and Dosent like it’s the VICTIM BLAMING, that’s wrong and also rly weird. So I don’t understand why both of you would let a fictional character come between a nice mutual friendship, especially you Hana I geniunely liked talking to you I liked talking mythology and liked sending you asks, you where really nice and kind with me and didn’t weird me out like Mina but it’s clear you have no self identity what so ever. But of course, no worries! I have no need for you! I know who my people are and aren’t and you aren’t one of em that’s for sure. As for Mina, yeesh girl yeesh that’s all I got when it comes to this, cause again no self respect self shame or friendship is magic in this case, but then again you’re no use of me either so I’ll say I’m glad you don’t speak to me anymore cause you creeped me out many times :)

just cause someone hides behind a cute kind persona dose not always mean that’s what they are on the inside dishonesty is sm. I’m honestly so dissapointed so many here defend her and say she’s changed instead of her saying she has, let her speak for herself if she’s so much so as the adult she claims to be.Let her speak cause I’m amazed how everyone walks eggshells around her cause she’s “sensitive” that is a insult to sensitive people as a whole.

I’m not going to mention who cause I want them to rest easy cause they are dear to me and what they experienced today breaks my heart they’re so sweet and didn’t deserve any of this, but when Mina apologized to them, Mina used the excuse of “I didn’t know you where a minor” despite her MENTONING THEIR AGE! Everyone knows people that know what they’re doing use that excuse, they lie, they will always go with this excuse, don’t get offended and stop reading now Mina I ain’t calling you a pedo, I’m calling you a dumbass, a real big dumbass as a whole for that shit apology and excuse. A victim of harassment Dosent deserve this, and a “sorry” dose not make up for the trauma the victim suffered let alone this type of “sorry”.

(I’m covering the name cause I rly feel bad for who experienced this and believe the poor thing has experienced enough today of all days like good god I don’t even want anyone to comfort me I’m fine! Just show some support and love to this victim cause good god)

there’s a line with senstivity and irresponsibility, and if it weren’t for me sending a respectful i REPEAT a respectful I’m a respectful person that’s how my mama raised me, anon ask saying you shouldn’t interact with minors much cause they’re easy to influenced and they see what you post easily etc etc, the useless “minors do not interact” wouldn’t be there. Oh and it’s hilarious how you have it there and still interact with said minors? Sweetie? It’s not there for show! Lotus? Heldril? Goddamm new comers? Children copy and children get affected! And you’ve clearly traumatized and affected a bunch! If you’re a so called elderly care giver you should know how to care for others that aren’t just you, make it make sense!

Oh and let’s not leave this out the cake. It’s funny how you talk about masturbating in public and how you vent in public, letting literally people who are younger than you be your therapist, or witness you sexting IN PUBLIC keep it in the dms woman! have so shame! This isn’t red lobster you embarrassing yourself! I ain’t slut shaming you cause I’m the queen of sluts, I’ve been called a slut for years and I didn’t even know about it so don’t think I’m slut shaming you. But really How wonderful really! A nurse! Who gose through the struggle of whipping elderly asses for a living! Doesn’t go to a therapist and relays on people decades younger than her! Get a damm therapist! Be ashamed! Seriously take some responsibility!

Not to mention I still remember how people expressed geniune concern for you and you milked it and said “see you on the other side” who says that! I was one of those people! I actually worried? But I woke up and realized what the fuck is this? Are you serious??? Some of these people who are worried for you are younger by years?? Some even minors?! Get a grip??! Where’s the responsibility?? It’d be better to write about your horny thoughts on a blog strictly for NSFW! I deadass told you to in the anon ask cause you need to be responsible! And dont you dare post a “im sorry 🥺” post! I know your type and I know them well! Just by that post where you explained yourself about the whole issue of you saying you want to make out with a minor, says allot. You didn’t address the issue! You just said it’s okay to hate you! You didn’t even defend yourself! Well for one Mina, I don’t hate you, I just hate the way you act,behave and your personality as a whole because that “sorry” will never cut the anxiety and horrible memory as a whole, be ashamed a bit, it’s not funny to make everything sexual and as a adult you should understand that.

What you did to those mods and roleplayers? I’m still speechless and have Vietnam flashbacks when it comes to the public sexting good god, atleast as if it’s okay to do NSFW and sent a literal pic of you bust? I know dirty I’m the QUEEN of dirty that hand on your top pulling the shirt a little lower shocked me so much my eyebrows left to Saturn and had a baby with the planet! I’ve got eyebrow planet grandkids now that’s how shocked I was. Not to mention the mod was 19 you are literally a decade older girl- tf is this lore Olympus? I know you like lore Olympus but girl lore Olympus is lowkey shit no offence. Honestly no wonder the mod stopped roleplaying and deleted the acounts cause good god girl- atleast have the decency to ask?

It’s really funny! Just a big joke really!

I for one was a friend with yo!u until I realized your true colors, I’m disappointed and consider this pathetic. I used to think you were nice and kind but I was met with dissapointment you genuinely disappointed me, hurt me and not only me but many others, don’t beat yourself about it just accept the fact that you did and just remove yourself from said minors and ACTUALLY BE RESPONSIBLE, before you hurt even more people.

As for the ones reading this,

You all know me and I’m pretty sure this is shocking seeing me a person here on tumblr call out the so called sweet Mina but honestly, people! nobodies perfect! Are you kidding me?? Get it through your skulls! She isn’t perfect and I’m not saying to hate her I’m saying to stop treating her like a child! when actual children here are being harmed! I’ve seen minors on here who deadass have been affected by her! And nobody I say nobody! don’t you dare say she didn’t know what she was doing that’s a insult to the victims and disgusting in general.

Also it’s not the ror fandom that’s changing, this has nothing to do with ror, to anyone reading this know this, it’s the Mina fandom that’s changing, not the ror fandom I’ve been in the ror community long before her and if sm was changing I’d know.

I’m deadass saying this despite me being a decade younger then Mina, I’m not saying this as a friend, not as a friend cause I don’t see you as that anymore and will never will ever again, im saying this as a person who’s going to be honest with you,

Keep it real

Enough of this self cantered,narcissistic ,immature, shameful,irresponsible and selfish behavior, you should be able to expect opinions like this, stop hiding behind your followers and say what you have in mind Mina and DONT dance around the issue, I read your “apology” post when the Heldirl issue raised to light, you didn’t even talk about the issue in hand, you just said it’s okay to hate you! Three paragraphs!! don’t dance around this, and you know what, Don’t even respond if you plan on doing that, cause that just proves the point.

Just know I don’t respect you not just cause of you being weird in the past with me but also with others specifically others I care about, so don’t come crying to me cause I geniunely don’t care I know these types of etiquettes, a sorry will never cut shit like I said so call me a cruel bitch idc ig it’s fair 🤷🏻‍♀️ just know I DONT respect you one bit,good day.

Tagging

@amphitriteswife @tinyy-tea-cup @mono-supports-palestine @praisethesuuun @riseofamoonycake @brokensenseofhumor @monstertreden @heldril @lotusmybeloved @nicasdreamer @ idk

idk who tf else to tag aaaa 💀 but yeah that’s my take on all of this respect me hate me I don’t care I rather be hated for who tf I am then who I pretend to be and who I am is a person to keeps it real 🤨

#ror #snv #idk what to tag 🧍‍♀️

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inejschumacher · 4 months

Text

Day 12 of Via’s Taycember

pairing: trent alexander-arnold x reader

wc: 1k

cw: verbal abuse, anger, depression, guilt

an: listen ik this would’ve been better suited for last year but wtv

The boos from the crowd filled Trent’s head on the field when he let yet another winger get past his futile defence. They filled his head as he walked off the field in shame, not daring to look up, ignoring the outstretched hands and the mouths hurling insults at him. They filled his head as he quickly changed in the locker, then hid himself in a corner as Klopp went over their game, disappointment heavy in his voice. And when his eyes found Trent cowering in his corner, they filled with pity.

I've been having a hard time adjusting, I had the shiniest wheels, now they're rusting. I didn't know if you'd care if I came back, I have a lot of regrets about that

Trent had been having a hard time adjusting to the changes in the team, his more common position as a defender rather than a midfielder. He’d shone so brightly in that position, making the right tackles, intercepting the ball on vital plays, getting it to the right-wingers and forwards, really proving to everyone that he knew what he was doing. He was a vital part of this team and kept it winning.

But now it seemed as if he was rusting, that shine long gone. He felt as if he was getting worse every game, letting more and more opposing players successfully attack his team, getting the ball past him and scoring those vital goals. He didn’t know who to turn to, talk about his feelings and try to help himself from within, especially with you. He had no idea if you’d even care if he came home after his wretched games, his never-ending training sessions. But it was you. You would never judge him or turn him away. He should've come home that first day, a deep regret filling his wounded soul even more.

Pulled the car off the road to the lookout, could've followed my fears all the way down and maybe I don't quite know what to say but I'm here in your doorway

He pulled the car to the side of the road, trying to calm himself down. His hands were shaking very violently, his breaths were short and useless, and his vision became blurred to the point of near blindness. He felt consumed by his fears, trying so desperately hard not to follow them all the way down that deepening chasm inside of him and drown himself in whatever lay at the bottom.

Somehow, he made it to your house, not able to remember the drive back or even restarting the car from that spot off the road, but there he stood in your doorway, so out of place in the welcoming entrance with his fidgeting self. He didn't know what to say to you when you opened the door, no sound able to escape his lips, but he’d still made it to you.

I just wanted you to know, that this is me trying

You didn’t need him to say anything; you understood perfectly what he needed. You pulled him in close, wrapping his arms around you as you rubbed his back and head, and you felt him sob into your shoulder.

They told me all of my cages were mental, so I got wasted like all my potential, and my words shoot to kill when I'm mad, I have a lot of regrets about that

All Trent ever heard, from the so-called fans, from the whispers of his teammate’s families, was that this was just something in his mind, made-up and easy to overcome. Because he’d made up the idea that he was struggling mentally himself, an easy fix he should’ve done ages ago after the first game as a failure. It only served to make everything worse, as he lost even more focus, on the ball, on the other players, on his own team, who now looked at him with a mixture of disgust and disappointment. Perhaps the occasional pitiful smile, but even then, what was the point?

It all came to a head when he finally lost control of his growing anger and yelled at a particularly cruel fan who kept berating him, voice loud and clear from the sand no matter where he was. It had taken several of his teammates and the referee to pull him away from the shocked fan, who only stared at Trent as he was dragged away to the locker room to isolate himself from the crowd and cameras and let him dispel his anger and guilt in private.

When Klopp came back in to check on him, he’d not expected to see a sobbing Trent on the floor, leaning against the lockers, with tears streaming down as the regret of losing control of his anger and being a horrific defender and losing Liverpool their games came out in a wave of emotions.

I was so ahead of the curve, the curve became a sphere. Fell behind all my classmates, and I ended up here pouring out my heart to a stranger but I didn't pour the whiskey

He thought back to when he’d shone in the academy and captained the junior-level team to glorious victory over and over again. They’d thought he’d shine brightly on the senior team, which he’d done in the Champions League finals at such a young age.

But now, it seemed he’d chase that success so far it just turned right back around to the beginning, where he’d struggled to even kick a ball. Where before he’d excelled better than his fellow teammates in the Academy and junior teams, now he was sitting at a desolate bar, spilling out his troubles to the stranger sitting next to him over an empty glass, devoid of the whiskey he’d planned on pouring to soften their minds a little.

And it's hard to be at a party when I feel like an open wound. It's hard to be anywhere these days when all I want is you. You're a flashback in a film reel on the one screen in my town

An afterparty, celebrating a winning game hard-fought by everyone on the team, Trent included. For once, his defending wasn’t too bad, enough to stop the attacking opposition, enough to get help from his own teammates. They might’ve won by a singular goal, a beauty of a shot by Mohamed Salah, but a win was a win, so welcoming after such a difficult season fighting for points in the mid-table.

But even then, Trent felt that chasm in him stay like an open wound, so, so deep, blackening his heartbroken soul. He could only think about you, your warm hold, but he didn’t know when he would ever be able to be embraced by you like that again. It seemed like the only time he ever saw you was a film screen as a flashback, so loving but trapped behind a cage of a screen, never able to break through. Or perhaps it was he who was trapped.

Somehow, he finally fell into your embrace once more, he spoke the words he needed to get out, to tell you without any room for thought otherwise.

And I just wanted you to know that this is me trying. At least I'm trying

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negans-lucille-tblr · 2 months

Text

My Worthless Love || Part Six (FIN)

Summary: At first, Dean can’t believe his luck that he gets to date a porn star, but soon the cracks start to show, and Dean gets to see a totally different side to the industry that bursts his bubble and leaves him torn.

Rating: 18+

Part Tags: angst, mentions of breaching limits, self-disgust, shame, embarrassment, mentions of drug use, lack of self worth, major fluff, mentions of rape

Part WC: 2790

A/Ns: Hope you all enjoyed this flangsty mini!

My Worthless Love Masterlist || Find out how to get your own commission here

Your POV

All you can focus on is getting back to the bedroom you’d been using as a changing room. Tears flood your vision as you keep your eyes fixed on your feet, making sure you don’t trip in your rush to escape, your clothes are clutched tightly to your still-naked body. Finally, you see the bedroom door, and let out a shaky exhale, desperate for the privacy the room can give you. You throw the door open without wasting another second and quickly duck into the room. But before you can close the door, your eyes land on someone sitting on the bed, and as you look up you realise who it is.

“Dean,” you choke out, attempting to compose yourself. You clear your throat, your heart racing in your chest.

Your mind is spinning so quickly, you’re not even sure how you feel about the fact that he hasn’t left. When you’d glanced over to where he had been standing not long into the shoot and saw him missing, you’d assumed this was all too much and he’d gone. You’d assumed that maybe he couldn’t handle this after all and had left you. You wouldn’t have blamed him – you hate yourself for it too – and the idea was one of the very reasons you didn’t want him to come to set with you. But you’d trusted him when he insisted that he could handle it.

“You’re still here?” you ask, confused.

“Of course I am,” Dean smiles slightly. “I wasn’t about to leave you here, I wanted to be sure you were okay.” He rises to his feet and begins to approach you, and your entire body tenses. “Are you okay?” he pries, concern painting over his face in an instant.

“Fine,” you lie, attempting to at least act it. “I’m fine,” you repeat, hoping to sound more convincing.

“What’s that?” he asks, nodding to your left hand. You look down, seeing the rag that had been thrown your way once the cameras had stopped rolling and your grip around it tightens.

“Just clean up,” you try to brush him off, hoping if you scrunch it hard enough in your grasp that he won’t see the mess inside. At the very thought, you also clench your thighs tighter together. “I should shower.”

You attempt to move past him towards the en suite, but you feel Dean turn with you.

“Wait,” he calls, placing a hand on your shoulder and stopping you in your tracks. You can feel the tears once again building at the backs of your eyes, and you’re not sure you can hold them in any longer.

“What, Dean?” you snap, glaring at him. Dean frowns, clearly taken aback by your tone, and then swallows hard. “I’m sorry,” you relent with a sigh, “please just let me shower.”

Dean silently releases you, nodding minutely, and so you turn and head into the bathroom, intent on having the water as hot as you can handle, scrubbing until your skin is raw and no trace of Nick is left.

You emerge from the bathroom timidly, not even sure Dean will still be in the bedroom waiting for you. You wouldn’t blame him if he isn’t after the way you treated him when all he’d tried to do is show you some concern. But he is, sitting on the foot of the bed, his head hung low as he plays with his fingers in front of him. He lifts his head when he hears you coming, and the concern he’d looked at you with earlier is still very evident on his face. You’d thought you’d got all your tears out silently in the shower, drowned out by the water and the loud music you’d put on. But more creep in and threaten to leave, and you can’t have anyone looking at you in that way right now, it’s too much.

“Are you sure you’re okay?” Dean finally asks, watching you carefully.

You don’t manage to speak this time, so you just nod, forcing a smile at him before turning your back as you begin rummaging through your bag of clothes for the clean ones you’d packed to change into.

“How was the rest of the shoot?” he pries, clearly trying to make conversation.

“The same as usual,” you half lie, not wanting to think about what had made you so upset in the first place. “You’d have known if you’d stayed,” you counter, hoping to distract yourself with the fact Dean had left instead.

“You don’t think I wanted to leave, do you?” he asks, and you hear the mattress groan slightly as he stands up.

“I don’t blame you,” you argue weakly. “I wouldn’t wanna see how little self respect my girlfriend has for herself if I were you, either.”

“Wait,” Dean insists, once again reaching out for you and placing a gentle hand on your shoulder. “Look at me.”

You drop the clothes in your hand back to your bag and slowly turn around, afraid to look directly in those green eyes, so you look down at your feet instead.

“Sweetheart,” Dean prompts, curling a finger under your chin to lift your head and look at him. “I didn’t want to leave. Marv made me.”

You wonder for a second if you even believe him, but then you think about how irritable Marv was growing every time you fucked up towards the start, and how distracted you’d been until you’d realised Dean was gone. It felt like you couldn’t fully let yourself get lost in your alter ego with him there, and no doubt it showed. So it would make sense for Marv to kick Dean out. The fact Dean didn’t want to leave at least brings you some comfort. Especially when you consider that it was probably a good thing he wasn’t there, especially towards the end.

“Is that why you’re upset?” he pries, frowning.

“Yeah,” you lie, turning around. “But it’s fine, I get it. You were totally distracting me. Marv hates mistakes,” you force a laugh, rummaging through your bag again just for something to do. Your eyes fall on the packet of valium Dean had caught you taking earlier, and you think about how much easier it would be if you took more – the whole lot, maybe.

“So you’re not mad?” Dean checks, snapping you out of your thoughts.

“No, I’m fine,” you laugh slightly. “I get it.”

You think it’s finally over, and Dean is going to drop it, so you begin to get dressed, hoping that enough time will pass that you can start acting fine enough that you’ll even start to believe it again. But you can’t stop the shake in your hands, and Dean being so close makes you nervous.

“What’s going on, baby?” Dean implores softly.

Fuck, why can’t this guy be oblivious like the rest of them? Why can’t he just believe a fine, and drop it?!

“Nothing, Dean!” you shout, throwing your t-shirt onto the floor with a huff.

“What happened?” Dean tries again, remaining calm.

It’s no good, you can’t do it.

You can’t turn around and face him, so you look down at your hands, your back to him as you finally come clean.

“It was a bad shoot,” you tell him. Instantly you feel both of Dean’s hands squeeze your shoulders lovingly, and he wraps his arms around you from behind and kisses the back of your head.

“Are they all this bad?”

“No, not like this,” you confess, your heart starting to beat a little harder and faster again. You’ve never had anyone to talk to about this stuff, you’re not even sure you know how to say it.

“Talk to me, you can tell me anything,” Dean encourages you quietly, holding you tighter.

You close your eyes and hold your breath for a moment, formulating the sentence in your mind.

“They ignored one of my limits,” you admit, swallowing hard to keep the tears at bay after your confession.

“What?” Dean asks, his body stiffening behind you. “Did you stop them? Did you say something?”

“There was no point, Dean. I’d already pissed Marv off enough, and I just wanted the shoot to be over.”

“What limit was it?” Dean’s tone is now laced with anger, and you worry you’ve only been thrown out of the frying pan and into the fire.

“He… he came inside me,” you explain weakly. “It’s fine, I’m not an idiot, I’m on birth control, I just don’t like doing it on camera.”

“That’s not the fucking point,” Dean grunts, and you feel him slip away from you. “I’m going to fucking kill him.”

You instantly turn and reach out to grab his arm, hoping to stop him in his tracks like he’d done you earlier.

“Dean, don’t, please. You’re going to make it worse if you storm out there.”

“I don’t fucking care! You think I’m gonna let him get away with this? And then make money off of it by putting the video online?!”

You’ve never seen Dean like this before, and while part of you is honored he’s being so protective of you, you also fear what repercussions that’s going to have on you.

“Dean, please,” you beg once more.

“We can’t let them get away with doing this, Y/N. How many other girls have they done this to, hm? How many more?” He clearly knows you well to speak to your empathy towards other girls like you. You sigh heavily. “Has this happened before?”

You don’t want to give him that answer and add fuel to the fire so you purse your lips.

“I’ll talk to my agent, let him handle it. It’s what I pay him for,” you try to reason. Dean clenches his jaw, but he doesn’t protest to your compromise, his body relaxing just a little.

“Fine, but if that dick doesn’t do anything, I certainly will, and next time you won’t be able to stop me.”

“Dick, you promised me that you were going to make sure he got my limits list,” you remind him, reaching up to pinch the bridge of your nose.

You ignore your boyfriend who is glaring in your direction from the otherside of the couch, knowing that he’s not mad at you, he’s just been unable to keep some form of frown off of his face since the shoot the day before.

“Who are we talking about again, sweetheart?” you hear Dick sigh, “you’re not my only client, you know, no matter how much you act like it.”

“Nick,” you reply, ignoring his slight dig. “He goes by Lucifer, remember?”

“Oh right, yeah,” Dick replies, though you can tell from the tone of his voice he doesn’t actually know who you’re talking about.

“So what are you gonna do about it, Dick? He breached one of my limits,” you reiterate, starting to lose patience.

“Listen, doll, I don’t know why you’re complaining, you got paid extra for it,” he laughs slightly.

“That’s not the fuckin’ point, Dick,” you tell him through gritted teeth. “You’re my agent, you’re meant to make sure I’m safe at shoots like these, and when I’m not you’re meant to fight my corner. That’s what I pay you for. But if you’re not gonna do your fucking job then I might as well leave.”

“Whoa, sweetheart, calm down, I’ll talk to the director, okay? See if he can maybe get you a bit more cash to make it worth it, hm?”

“Jesus, no, it’s not about the money!” you shout, feeling like you’re going around in circles. “You know what? I’m done with you, I’ll find someone else.”

You hang up on him before he can protest, tossing your cell down onto the coffee table in a huff before throwing yourself back onto the couch and covering your face with your hands, utterly frustrated.

“Can I go fuck them up yet?” Dean grunts, and you peer past your hands to look at him, sighing heavily at the heavy glare still set on his face.

“No, the last thing I need is you being arrested for assault,” you try to joke.

It’s silent between you for a moment, until you hear Dean sigh heavily, and when you look over at him, that look of pure anger has dispersed from his gorgeous features, and now he just looks concerned.

“Listen, Y/N,” he begins, clearing his throat and leaning forward on his elbows, playing with his fingers in front of him much like he’d done the day before. “I never wanted to be this guy, and I never wanted to say this… but the difference is, I’m actually saying it for your sake, not mine,” he explains. He pauses for a moment as a small frown pulls at your brow. “I think you should quit.”

“Well I did just fire my asshole agent, so I guess I did,” you laugh slightly. “I’ll find a better one, one that treats me better,” you decide.

“No, I mean… I think you should quit the entire industry.”

“Oh.”

You can’t find much more than that to say as you think about Dean’s words. At first you’re a little angry that he’d try to tell you what to do, like he’s got some sort of control over your life, but then you think about how he’d said he was saying it for your sake and not his. Does he really have your best interests at heart here? Or is he just using this as an excuse to dump all his jealousy and insecurities on you and make you quit?

“What Nick did to you wasn’t right… if anything it was borderline rape. I know he knew about your limits, he mentioned your list to me before the shoot. He knew you didn’t want that and he did it anyway,” Dean reveals, only making you feel worse about the whole thing.

Not that you’re surprised by any means, but you’d tried to excuse it by convincing yourself it was Dick who fucked up and didn’t send your limits, and not Nick choosing to ignore them. While you don’t like Nick and had heard some rumours from other girls, you’d naively hoped he wasn’t as bad as people said, and working with him wouldn’t be a terrible idea; that maybe you’d be lucky.

“And it’s not just what Nick did,” Dean goes on. “The way pretty much every guy in that place looked at you and treated you… it made me feel sick. You don’t deserve that, you’re worth more than that.”

At Dean’s final comment you feel yourself breaking down, shaking your head in reluctance to accept that he might be right.

“No, I’m not… this is it, Dean, this is what I’m good at… this is what I deserve,” you sob out, trying to make him realise it for himself. Until now, you hadn’t really wanted him to, hoping if he didn’t see how unworthy you were of his time and attention, you could keep it a little longer.

“How can you say that?” Dean asks, sliding himself closer to you on the couch. “I don’t know who or what has made you feel like that, but they’re fucking wrong. You’re gorgeous, and you’re funny and smart, and you light up a room just being in it, and you’ve made me happier than I thought I could be. And none of that has anything to do with sex, because you’re more than that, darling.”

You shake your head again, trying to block out his words, not wanting to believe them, because you’d convinced yourself of the opposite for so long.

“Let me prove it to you, let me show you what you’re worthy of,” Dean implores, grabbing your hands in his. “Don’t quit for good if you don’t want to, but just take a break, let me try.”

“I don’t deserve that,” you sniffle. “I don’t deserve so much of your time, Dean.”

“Of course you do, you deserve every second of it,” he disagrees. “Y/N,” he sighs, making sure you’re looking at him. “Let me love you until you learn to love yourself.”

You stare into his eyes, searching for sincerity and finding nothing but just that. He truly believes what he’s saying, even if you think he’s wrong. But you nod anyway, agreeing to his request, because what have you got to lose other than him?

“Okay,” you finally vocalise. “You can try.”

The beam that lights up Dean’s face at least fills you with some comfort that maybe you’re doing the right thing after all. Especially with a guy like him.

Please let me know what you think of this fic! Feedback is the fuel to writers' fires! My anon is on if you'd prefer to leave feedback anonymously!

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#my worthless love #dean x reader #mini series #dean winchester #smut #angst #fluff #supernatural fanfic #spn fanfic #negans-lucille-tblr

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jordyn-degas · 1 year

Text

Never again.

Characters: Trafalgar Law x fem! reader

Warnings: first piece for Law bc I couldn't hold it in anymore - he's literally consuming every single brain cell; light smut - MDNI; depiction of cuts, bruises and blood; reader is held by Caesar; Law takes care of you - in more ways than one 😏; slow paced in a way; emotions and feels; implied decision of self-sacrifice; reader is sold to the highest bidder; restriction of free will; double entendre between Law & reader - men and their feelings; i think i described it heavier than it actually is - sorry 😅; moody and broody? absolutely lovable. Spoilers: if you haven't reached Punk Hazard and Dressrosa, you will stumble upon new characters under the cut. Read at your own risk.

italic font - past; regular font - present

Taglist: i'm tagging you in everything at this point @uchihabbynic 😅 i need you in my corner since i started down the One Piece path 🤤

Softness of familiar fingers brushed along the skin of your back carefully, goosebumps peeking through at the care with which you were handled. Along the trail of a touch that was not foreign anymore, after six horrendous months, came the thin, translucent fabric that has been adorning your body all this time. Cuts and bruises, unorthodox surgeries and an inhuman amount of tests defined the life you had been living in captivity.

On the God forsaken island of Punk Hazard where a mad scientist resided, the author of each scar that was going to serve as a reminder for the rest of your life, a seed of hope developed with each passing day, blooming into moments of peace, comfort and quiet. It was all because of a man that was entrusted with keeping you alive enough to carry on with being a subject, armed with medicine and gauze along with a pair of gray eyes that seemed lost somewhere in time, in a point he was unable to return – pure coldness masking anger and sadness, a wall built on a life that hasn’t been kind.

“Don’t sleep on your back tonight.” Trafalgar Law, the infamous Surgeon of Death and one of the Seven Warlords of the Sea, broke the comfortable silence while carefully wrapping the gauze around your arm.

“I’ll sleep on the side.” tired sigh slipped past your chapped lips, hooded gaze eyeing the monitor on the other side of the room where it displayed vital signs that were barely above the limit – monitored day and night.

“Caesar went in again.” he concluded watching how your shoulders caved in as if trying to hide whatever gruesome cut was in the front.

“It’s fine.” hand lazily reached for the oversized shirt resting on the pillow, one belonging to a subject that has been dead for more than three months now. “I’m so used to it by now that I don’t feel the pain as much.”

Fingers dipped into the abrasive material from all the clumsy hand washing, patches that have been sown up again and again pushing against the skin as a reminder that this has probably been worn by many before you. Looking into the lap, sudden shame bloomed seeing your legs completely riddled with old and new scars, damaged skin peeking from under the shorts, its disgusting aspect crawling upwards across the navel where it was met with various vertical and horizontal cuts that reached around your middle.

Pulling at the shirt to bring it closer, the warmth of Law’s hand engulfed your wrist, freezing immediately feeling the most skin to skin contact you’ve had in months. A sense of urgency pooled into a silent plea, tension being released through the pads of his fingers, as if silently telling you to wait, to stop and accept yet again his help. As he walked around the bed on which you were sitting, arms quickly shot upwards, hands clasping at the shoulders in an attempt to hide what was now one of the most deep, long and wide cuts your chest had survived. It was far from being the first time in which Law has seen you completely bare from head to toe, needed when the damage was too great to stumble over such mundane concerns – he was a doctor after all.

“Tch! How is this fine, Y/N-ya?” Law grumbled with utmost annoyance, chair grazing harshly against the floor while being brought in front of you. “You’re hemorrhaging.”

“I’m not made of glass, Trafalgar.” bark but no bite being all that you could muster at almost 1 am, after a long day of being a guinea pig.

Holding back a reply fit for the smart ass you labeled him as, Law’s jaw clenched shut watching the woman that fought the pain right before his very eyes. Six full months of constantly providing postoperative care, trying to the best of his ability to place back together what others broke, at first considering it to be a tedious request from Caesar. That until he allowed himself to get to know the mysterious patient no one was allowed to talk to, you so casually striking up a conversation while barely able to breathe – kind eyes and soft smile.

Unknowingly to both of you, as each day passed, seeds were planted somewhere deep into hearts that deemed themselves unfit to live freely, to know peace or love, to feel care or happiness. Extra medicine was being sneaked under Law’s jacket, followed by books, warm tea and food – hours passing by with ease when in the presence of each other. There was no need for conversation, being in the same room making the air of this hellhole of an island a bit more breathable.

“Y/N-ya.” Law’s deep, soothing voice pooled into your ears with calmness, gaze falling on his open palm in which a roll of gauze waited. “Let me.”

“This time is really bad, Law.” defeated whisper made its way out of the dryness of your mouth, head raising, gaze being met with the familiar pair of gray eyes in which you found comfort and compassion. “I’m horrendous, disgusting, a sight that would ..”

“You’re not.” bitter sentence being cut off abruptly, Law’s proximity and intense stare causing for your arms to slowly drop on each side, breasts exposed to the coolness of the room as his focus switched from your face and on the bleeding cut that stretched from under the neck, stopping in the middle of the abdomen – for the first time since being examined by him, blood rushed into the cheeks, causing you to blush profusely. “Have you finished the book I brought last week?”

Calloused hand found its purchase against your cheek, powerful slap causing the neck to snap painfully, the taste of blood coating your taste buds. Bare feet felt relief while touching the expensive carpet adorning the stone flooring of Dressrosa’s Royal Palace. Fingers wrapped tightly against the two blades you held, entire body trembling from head to toe with anger and fear, jaw clenched shut in an attempt to fight the harsh reality.

“Bought for my free use, indeed.” Don Quixote Doflamingo’s vicious chuckle bounced off the walls, lips and teeth morphing into a malicious grin. “Worth all the money for this moment right here.”

Horror and shock adorned Law’s features, Sea Prism Stone shackles binding him to the royal chair, hands balled up into tight fists when met with Doflamingo’s most prized possession in this war against him – you. Chest began heaving at the sight, forcing himself to remain as calm and calculated as possible, trying to ignore the all too familiar instinct of protecting you in favor of putting the pieces of the puzzle together, unable to slip past the constant thought that bloomed into both of your minds: a year and two months since being sold by Caesar only to find each other here.

Tears pricked at your eyes seeing Law so close, yet so far, pangs of guilt booming into the chest knowing you have not kept the promise made before your departure.

I promise to stay safe until you come after me.

Evil laughter filled the room, Doflamingo and his acolytes watching with delight as two people representing each other’s weaknesses were the prisoners of his mercy.

“Did you really think that Caesar didn’t know about you two?” Doflamingo’s tonality carrying mockery from beginning to end, fingers dancing into the air as your arms suddenly raised with the blades in a position to attack. “He gave me everything I needed to know, to use when the time was right.”

Law was still stuck between past and present as he could not see, through the teared clothes, all the scars that once mapped out all the pain you’ve been through. The woman he met in Punk Hazard completely disheveled, beyond repair at first glance, bore no resemblance to the one standing before his eyes. Looking past the dried up blood as a result from the slap, skin was glowing with a smoothness that has never been there, no longer sickly and battered, lips pinched with a healthy color, cheeks dusted with the bright blush of life — one he hasn’t seen in so long it had his heart race at the sight.

Even with the eerie calmness Law seemed to be displaying, you knew exactly what he was thinking with the way his gray gaze was doing its rounds up and down your figure. After the time spent together, after all the conversations and nights where you thought no one knew about, you could easily read the man that took up all the space available in your cold heart. The broken woman he got to see in any shape and form was no longer there — healthy from head to toe, used because she was doomed to fall in love with him.

“What did you do?!” a dangerous growl ruptured from the back of Law’s throat when met with a stupidly low temperature in the room along with your bare body only wrapped in a flimsy sheet – Caesar was punishing you.

“I-I r-r-refu-used-d-d ..” teeth clashed against each other repeatedly, violent chills shaking your form while sitting on the bed all balled up. “ .. I f-f-fought ..”

Tears grazed the sensitive skin of your cheeks, blood concentrating into keeping a weak body warm, anger and disappointment lacing the voice of the woman to which Law rushed a split second. For the first time since being here, he decided to risk his own plan for this unknown woman that worked its way under his skin in less than a month since meeting her – 7 months later since he first laid eyes on you, warmth, care and an unnamed feeling gnawed mercilessly at his soul.

Judging by the way risky purple pinched parts of your body, Law knew the shock of hypothermia was close to hitting. The warmth that engulfed you at his proximity called for rash decisions, sheet dropping as you wrapped around his body as a moth drawn to bright light. Tensing briefly at the contact, Law relaxed immediately thereafter, feeling your arms sneaking under the jacket, face buried deeply into the crook of his neck, pleasured sigh escaping feeling the desperately craved warmth. Cold lips brushed past the pulse point that was throbbing, his eyes dipping along the curvature of your back and quickly switching their focus when met with the waistband of the only piece of fabric covering the lower part of your body.

“‘m sorry.” shaky whisper laced with sadness graced the silence as, instinctively, Law’s arms wrapped around you tightly. “m so cold.”

“Don’t worry.” Law’s own whisper brushed past your ear, masking the foreign satisfaction he felt of having you in his arms.

Not even realizing what was happening, warmth suddenly tugged at your skin, feeling how life rushed throughout the body, able to hear again heartbeats that seemed to not be there a few seconds ago. Feet left the floor, legs wrapping around your savior’s waist in an attempt to absorb even more from the essence of life. Head raised slightly, you were met with a foreign room, eyes coming in contact with a wall filled with bookshelves, desk holding perfectly organized papers to the side and a closet. There was cozy light, senses pinched with the scents of Punk Hazard’s winter and pristine freshness, detecting with ease the faint citrus smell of a familiar hand soap — Law’s room.

“Let me.” Law spoke calmly as your feet touched the floor, gray eyes completely focused on yours, arms raising on their accord on which he slid one of the fresh t-shirts that rested on the bed. “You’re sleeping here.”

“What about Caesar?” shiver ran across the length of your spine at the mere thought of not being found in your usual room and putting Law in a danger neither needed. “What about you?”

Looking through hooded eyes, Law chose to answer with silence, walking up to the desk and placing his jacket on the back of the chair before sitting on it with a quiet sigh. Without another word, taking his entire demeanor as a hint, bare feet slapped against the floor but not in the direction he thought. Law was met with a stretched out arm, palm wide open, eyes falling on the stitches surrounding your wrist.

The soft smile adorning your features had yet another knot form into the throat, one that began appearing quite often whenever he would hear your carefree laugh despite the situation in which you have been for months. Reluctantly, Law placed his hand into yours, both knowing that whatever has been building in the darkness of Caesar’s laboratory could not end with rainbows and fireworks. However, who doesn’t crave the sweet taste of happiness and peace from time to time?

“You need to rest.” was the only sane thing Law managed to say, trying to ignore how good you were capable of looking in his t-shirt, taking off his signature hat and throwing it on the desk.

“So do you.” soft notes filled with warmth and care pricked his senses, mattress dipping as you both slid under the covers.

It was one of those moments in which everything ceased to exist — Law forgetting to put up his reinforced walls meant to keep people out, allowing himself to care, to feel, much more than ever before, while you forgot that maybe tomorrow you’ll meet the end Caesar has threatened you with, grasping at a hope that came in the form of a broody, grumpy man that did nothing but to show the other face of humanity.

Tears bubbled into your eyes at the feeling of being comfortable again, of feeling pure warmth that came from another person, of bathing into an unspoken care, heartbeats thumping loudly enough for the man to hear them. His eyes did not leave your face for a single second, fighting between the harsh reality and the onslaught of feelings that began taking over with each second spent so close to you. They felt foreign, yet familiar and comfortable, fingers twitching with the sudden need to touch you.

Ignoring any sense of sanity, your body moved on its own accord, hands working quickly the material that stood between you and Law’s upper body. When he did not protest, steel eyes still trained on your features, arms wrapped around his neck, pulling both bodies flush against each other – skin memorizing the tattoos that adorned his chest and body as if wanting to carry a version of him with you forever.

Quiet gasp rolled off Law’s lips at the closeness, absolutely bewildered with how normal it all felt, as if being with you for years on end.

“Need your warmth.” emotions filled voice cut through the silence, trying to not break down feeling his body melting against yours, arms sneaking around the middle, being pulled even deeper into the man that awakened the feeling you were afraid to name.

Law could feel the tip of his ears burning, fingers twitching as they dipped into the material of the t-shirt covering your body, tightening their grip on it when realizing this was the only place in which you were capable of finding comfort and safety. There was no room for uncertainty at this point, both diving too deep into something that should have not existed in the first place, grasping at straws of a hope neither could guarantee – falling for each other on this God forsaken island, in the darkness of Caesar’s laboratory, a place where dreams went on to die along with their owners.

Timid attraction began closing the gap between your lips, Law’s eyes darting to yours and back up, searching for any bit of hesitation, barely able to hold it together as the warmth of your breaths clashed. Hot fingertips carved their path in between his shoulder blades, traveling upwards across the nape of his neck, slight shiver rocking Law’s body at the intimate gesture, before your fingers found purchase into the softness of his dark hair. Arm wrapped tightly around the waist moved to grab at the flesh of your thigh, leg being carefully placed over his middle, both watching each other in comfortable silence, any rational thought slipping out and making room for nothing but yearning, suffocating want and need to feel loved.

“Y/N-ya.” Law’s last attempt at being calculated, protective and sane about the situation, was completely thrown out the moment a small smile tugged at the corners of your mouth.

“I’m sure.” confidence laced the words, lips hovering over each other, waiting for the moment in which all the walls would crumble to the ground. “Are you?”

The reply came in the form of a haze clouding your brain completely, pieces of a broken heart meeting yet again in their rightful place as Law’s lips melted against yours – warm, soft, careful, timid even. It felt as if getting acquainted with each other for the first time, yet familiar and safe, somehow knowing what one meant to the other long before even having the chance to meet. Tongues slipped past the feverish lips, dancing on a slow, tender rhythm, breaths picking up their paces with each passing second spent entangled. Fingertips dipped even deeper into the flesh of your thigh, body arching into his, wishing to be absorbed and consumed completely by no else but him.

Through needy, passion filled kisses, the mattress dipped again as Law switched his weight, settling your body under his with ease, forearms on each side of your head, legs spreading to accommodate the man in between them, shaky sigh being released when feeling the protruding bulge pressing against the visible wet spot of your underwear. Hips began moving on their own accord, demanding more through the clothed friction which caused the Surgeon of Death to allow a low groan to escape against your lips. Needy whimper betrayed the state in which you found yourself the moment he stood up, knees digging into the mattress, expert fingers quickly working under the oversized t-shirt you wore, hooking them into the waistband of your panties, pulling them down and off the legs slowly, calculated, as if giving you time to change your mind on something that was bound to seal two fates together.

“Don’t.” hand grabbed at Law’s wrist, stopping him from removing the last piece of clothing that would reveal what you had become in its entirety.

“I already know ..” steel gaze pierced through the depths of a soul that had known nothing but loneliness and fear until meeting another, until him – warmth and kindness pooled into the eyes of the man that used to show nothing but eerie calmness and coldness. “.. you.”

Trembling hand released its grip, allowing Law to carefully pull the t-shirt off your body, eyes shutting in anger knowing what laid before him – the ruins of an unfinished experiment. Shuffles could be heard, slight movements of the bed being the only thing you could distinguish while refusing to see what was happening. As shame began to wash over you, mouth opened to let out a gasp of surprise, feeling soft lips pressing against the abdomen, traveling upwards in slow motions. Was he kissing along your scars?

Tears brimmed at the corner of your eyes, fighting to push them as far as possible realizing what was happening, deciding to timidly look. Blurry vision opened to see that Law’s pants were gone, the only thing separating the two of you being a pair of black briefs, gaze moving its focus to the man that did not miss one scar, each holding a care filled kiss, one hand clasped on your thigh while the other was smoothing along the ribs, soothing away the shame that began to die out. Head tilted upwards, erratic breaths slipping into the air as his lips traveled along the scar in between your breasts, own fingers making their way back into the softness of his dark hair, tugging slightly when he moved to the sides, tongue flicking shamelessly at each pebbled bud, the first broken moan of the night bouncing off the walls.

Law’s hand released its grip on the thigh, tickling at the sensitive skin as it traveled down the valley in between your legs, groan escaping from the open mouth which caught your high pitched moan when his long, tattooed fingers slipped in between slick coated folds. You were pooling into his palm, heavily swallowing the knot formed at the mere idea that it was all because of him, watching how your gaze became hooded when the first finger went in with a bewildering ease, chest heaving from the arousal, Law’s lips stealing feverish kisses and broken moans.

“m-more.” breathless plea had Law’s length twitch violently into the cotton confinement, jaw clenching feeling the uncomfortable hardness, second finger going in without a second thought. “A-ah!’

Hips began rolling instinctively against him, arousal dripping profusely, teeth clenching on Law’s bottom lip as nails dug into the skin of his back. Both fingers slipped out, covered completely in your wetness as they slowly made their way on that, oh, so sweet spot, gently circling it while applying the pressure that had you choke on your own breath. Law’s hand flew to the waistband of his briefs, pulling them down in one swift motion, quiet gasp crashing against your moans when hit with the warmth of the room.

Not resisting the urge, foreheads pressed together, your gaze dipped in between the legs, mouthwatering sight wiping all that has happened up until this point – heavy, of an impressionable size, cock twitched at the attention, leaking with arousal. Legs wrapped around Law’s waist, the small smirk tugging at his lips not going unnoticed, pushing it into submission with a small peck. Two gazes lost into each other, Law slowly guided himself towards your welcoming heat, following how your eyes began widening, jaw falling slack as the tip pushed through the muscle ring that twitched at the sensation. His own were screwed shut for a brief moment, mentally cursing at how tight you felt despite the pool of arousal in between your legs.

“Fuck!” both lost the little control that remained behind, word escaping at the same time the moment he bottomed out completely, gummy walls pulsating around his shaft.

Languid strokes turned your body to mush, melting into the sheets at the sensation of being so full of him, legs tightening their grip around Law’s waist, nails and fingertips pressing into his back with hunger, unable to look anywhere but at the man stealing whatever was left of your sanity, the man that, with each sensual roll of his hips, was tearing down the walls both have fought to keep up.

Pace picked up only slightly as you angled your hips higher, guttural moan escaping Law at the change, forearm pressing into the pillow as the other hand moved to take yours, fingers intertwining above your head between sinful sounds and heavy panting. Head fell to the side, teeth nipping at the skin of your arm from the bewildering pleasure that coursed throughout the body.

“Eyes on me, love.” Law rasped while trying to control himself feeling the way you clenched and twitched, gaze falling on your heaving chest, breasts bouncing lightly with each delicious drag of his cock, skin flushed and filled with goosebumps being an image burned forever in his mind.

Hearing Law’s words, head snapped back to be met with a hooded, gray gaze that glinted with an unrecognizable emotion. Hand tightened its grip on his at the sight, the man pulling moan after moan as he was capable of reaching so far deep into your aching core. Realization hit like a ton of bricks, Law’s forehead pressing against yours, feverish, passionate kisses being stolen in between breathless releases of pleasure – you were so in love with the man it had your heart being squeezed with love and pain, wanting nothing more than to live, than to be capable of surviving enough to get out of here and simply be.

Be with him.

“L-Law .. I lo ..” words died out into the throat when lips crashed against one another, each stroke of his cock in and out of your heat becoming more intense, more sensual, filled with something more than yearning, passion and attraction.

“I know.” Law’s shaky whisper hit in all the right places, forearm moving for its fingers to tangle into your hair, pulling gently at it until the exposed neck of the woman trembling under him was in full view, lips latching against the sensitive skin and peppering it with loving kisses. “I .. know.”

Forced steps were being taken towards the Surgeon of Death, all sprawled on the royal chair, unable to do anything more than to watch how you were coming for the kill under Doflamingo’s control - sharp blades pointed straight at his chest, jaw clenched shut in an attempt to fight such monstrous power, refusing to take the life of the man you loved. Despite seeing his usual wall put up, seemingly unbothered by what was happening, you knew better than anyone in the room that the cogs in Law’s brain were functioning at full speed trying to come up with a way to stop this entire ordeal.

“Did you even know that Caesar lied to get a better payout?” words came out through heavy breaths, amused expression taking over much to Law’s surprise hidden under the steel mask of “I don’t care”. “I thought the Don Quixote family was smarter than this.”

“Trying to buy time, princess?” Doflamingo’s rasped out laugh pushing each available button of your sanity, flashes of an insatiable rage morphing into images born out of the desire to kill him – to torture this pure evil until there was nothing left of him.

“No.” you scoffed as the panic built with each step taken towards Law. “Since Caesar is with the Straw Hats, I can out him for the play he pulled on all of you. It’s not like you can do anything to him now.”

“No one deceives the Young Master.” Baby 5, one of Doflamingo’s acolytes and assassin, chimed in while feeling personally attacked at the implication of your statement.

“Trafalgar and I had a moment of weakness which I knew was being monitored.” annoyed sigh rolled off your lips feeling Doflamingo’s controlling strings pausing their wretched attempt. “It was easy to trick Caesar into believing that whatever he thought he saw would bring him more money. Higher price, bigger chances of leaving that hell hole with whomever paid. Who wouldn’t want to have leverage against one of the Seven Warlords?”

“That so?” vicious, disgusting grin split Doflamingo’s face, Law’s entire body tensing realizing the man was about to do something even crueler.

Lythe fingers danced into the air, a muttered “fuck” being choked out when forcefully pushed right in front of Law while slightly bent over his figure. One blade pushed against his neck while the other was dangerously digging into yours, thin droplets of blood trickling down on both of your skins.

“Then kill him if that’s true.” Doflamingo purred maliciously, controlling with ease how the blade pressed against your skin as incentive. “Or .. was that a lie?”

“He lives, you say?” an amused chuckle escaped into the air, instinct dictating that it was a blatant lie but choosing to believe it out of pure hope.

“He lives.” the head of the Don Quixote family responded, mocking, harsh giggle resounding into the background at his own words.

“I’m sorry.” was all you could say, whispering low enough only for Law to hear, tears bubbling to the surface realizing how easily Doflamingo could control your body — knowing that his desire right now was for Law to die by your own two hands. “I tried.”

“Whatever you’re about to do ..” Law’s growled, uncontrollable anger destabilizing every single synapse in his brain when realizing what you were about to do. “Don’t.”

“Remember what I wanted to say that night.” soft smile engulfed your face, pace washing over the pair of eyes he dreamed of every single day since you left. “It’ll all make sense.”

I love you.

Law’s eyes widened in horror as the final piece of the puzzle fell into place – you were willing to die for him rather than lying, rather than having a chance of living after everything you went through. Erratic heartbeats took over in a split second, teeth gritting with ravaging anger as wrists were close to bleeding into the shackles, desperately wanting to break them off, to grab you and run out of the room as far as possible.

Why the hell didn’t he allow you to say it back then?

Why did he always have to find a way of stopping the words to fall from your lips?

Why did he do everything in his power to not make it real when it already was?

He felt the same and never got the chance to say it, to hear it directly from you, to bathe into the soothing notes of your voice when uttering the three words that gave him the life he never felt worthy of. Saying “I love you” at that time seemed as if allowing the reality to disappear, to give true meaning and hope to a relationship that thrived on the luck of you being alive the next day, after Caesar was done with his experiments.

Cracks began showing into the smile you so freely showed Law, chin trembling from the tsunami of emotions crashing into you, tears staining the pair of eyes in which he always saw a life to be lived, heavy droplets rolling down the cheeks he used to kiss when asleep. Indeed, Law never showed or talked about his true feelings, about what was hiding underneath the steel exterior.

He never had to. You knew.

“Oi, Doffy!” you shouted, voice filled with confidence bouncing off the walls, tears pinching your lips with sadness and anger, eyes blooming with happiness at the mere fact that you had the chance of seeing the man you loved again after more than a year of being apart. “I fucking lied!”

Evil laughter filled the air, arms raised as fingers puppeteered the woman that chose love over life, two seconds of events unfolding into the room where your fate, and the fate of Dressrosa, was going to take a sudden turn. Scream filled with anger, desperation and pain exploded into the air as shocked gasps followed right after, droplets of blood splashing against Law’s chest, painting the black heart tattooed on his chest into shades of dark red, while the sound of steel blades crashing against the floor announced the end of a decision that was going to last a lifetime.

To the side, Doflamingo’s head rested on the blood stained carpet.

“Go right now!” Law roared like never before, steel gaze burning with a rage no one thought he was capable of under all that calmness and pristine, calculated attitude. “NOW!”

“B-but ..” teeth snapped shut against each other, the sound having Viola, King Riku’s second daughter, placing her hand on your shoulder and squeezing gently, reassuringly.

“After what you just ..” he followed, feeling how his words could easily cut even deeper than the blades that only scratched the surface of your delicate neck – Law inhaled deeply, regaining balance, notes of relaxed tonality carrying the sound of his voice. “I can’t have you be used as leverage again. Doflamingo won’t hesitate holding you over my head.”

“I don’t want to leave again!” foot slammed against the ground, blood rushing through the veins at the mere thought of being apart, of losing him yet again. “I don’t want to leave .. you.”

Silence fell upon the group that managed to escape out of the room filled with the danger that Doflamingo represented, Law at a loss of words of how easily you admitted, revealed so openly, in what way you were tied together under the questioning gazes of the others. Viola’s sweet chuckle filled the air, Kyros and King Riku eyed each other with small smiles that gave away the fact that they caught on to what was going on, witnesses to the previous sad scene that unfolded at the hands of Doflamingo, while Luffy looked in between the two of you as if you were the strangest thing to walk the land.

“Promise me.” Law mumbled, cheeks slightly flushed, ears burning with everyone’s eyes set on him, trying to calm his heart from exploding into millions of pieces because of you – deep, defeated sigh slipped past his lips when deciding that no one truly cared about this whole moment except the two of you. “You’ll stay safe until I come after you.”

Eyebrows shot up in surprise, lips parting hearing the promise made over a year ago being uttered yet again, and not by you, but by the man that, at that time, even refused to acknowledge that loving someone else existed – that it wasn’t just a bedtime story.

Beaming smile curved your lips upwards, the same one Law got used to seeing daily a while ago, the same one he missed beyond his own capacity of understanding.

“I promise.” sweet notes of happiness danced into the air, the tonality of a voice he only got to hear when around him, when not either in pain or filled with sadness, brought a small, rare smile on his own face. “Never again, Trafalgar!”

“Come with me.” Viola chimed in, fingers intertwined with yours, understanding clearer than anyone else that she had to hang on to your life, to protect you with everything she had – witnessing pure, unstained love was a source of power not many were capable of understanding in this wretched world.

Neither you or Law needed to say it out loud – I love you taking the form of a promise that meant a whole lot more than the confession itself, representing both the beginning and the end of what was going to be the rest of your lives.

“Never again.” Law acknowledged right away what you were saying, the double edged sword of your words being an unspoken language to others but him – he knew better than anyone what that meant. “Y/N-ya.”

You knew exactly what he was saying right there and then, heart blooming with a deep sense of accomplishment that no one else could decipher. It was a bizarre exchange between two people that met into the darkness of Punk Hazard, two people that gave up on themselves for each other, two people that decided walls were built to be crumbled at the hands of those that truly mattered.

As Doflamingo’s voice began booming over Dressorsa, announcing a new hunting game of the people that dared to cross into his territory, to try and save what he ruined all those years ago, the two of you looked at each other, finally at peace. There were about to be excruciating moments, events that would have your hearts scream with desperation, yet, somehow, you knew that the grass was going to be greener on the other side.

This time you were not going to leave on separate paths, torn apart by an unfair fate and an expensive trade.

This time you were both going to walk side by side, on the same path, because ..

Never again, right?

✨ Reblogs & comments would be much appreciated ✨

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zeephyre · 5 months

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CR3 EPISODE 78 SPOILERS

god. i love this fucking campaign. this one's gonna be long as shit.

despite how genuinely depressing this episode was, it also made me really giddy because i love hurt/comfort and there's no point of that if there's no hurt or angst.

im probably gonna go down the line with each member of bells hells, discussing what i can remember off the top of my head, i hope i don't forget anything in my rambles cause this was one of my FAVORITE episodes of the whole campaign and that's saying something.

i love ashton. i have loved ashton the most since the very beginning and for a lot of it i was really worried that ashton was deliberating running from opening up with bells hells while also going out of their way to have one-to-one convos with different members that were deep and insightful but never went as far as they needed to.

i am projecting a bit with analysis of ashton but taliesin does it best when rp'ing for ash and generally talking abt him in interviews. ashton reminds me of myself, which is not a compliment and is actually really terrible. ironically enough, ashton said the same thing abt fcg. i have spent a lot of time hurting myself by sabotaging the things i love, or embracing the worse parts of myself simply because it's become habit. there's always going to be a piece of you that finds the sadness, anger, guilt, emptiness, whatever -- comforting because it's all you've known.

ashton mourns a life that he never lived. i find myself mourning versions of myself that i would hate but still...yearn for them like an itch or an ache that comes from hurt. ashton wanted their family back, in whatever desperate, corrupted way he felt he should have done it, and hearing how he described feeling like he looked past the cautionary tale simply because he thought the pain they caused him should have meant something else made me think of imogen.

beautiful, sweet, powerful, dangerous, sad imogen temult. i won't comment on how everyone berated ashton because that's not really surprising nor was anything imogen said or did pertaining to ash shocking whatsoever. but... there's smth abt the destruction that ashton did to feel close to the idea of a family that doesn't really exist that just parallels so well with the fight that imogen has been undergoing since childhood. against the red storm, now against the call of ruidus, and the temptation and attachment she felt and still feels to her mother, despite everything liliana has done that jeopardizes everything imogen is fighting for.

abandoned by her mother, shunned by her own town, ignored and feared by her father.

going back to ashton again, there's smth to be said abt the guilt and shame that comes from making horrible choices that put yourself and the ppl you love in danger that forever changes the way they perceive you. I've done it. i had to fight to make things better. it can't be enough to love someone enough that would die for them, you have to fight to stay alive. if not even for yourself, for THEM.

i know it can be unhealthy to rely on others so much, but it's certainly not easy to fight for yourself when the foundation isn't there. learning how to love without throwing yourself on a blade is more important than self sufficiency. that comes afterwards.

i...don't like laudna's reliance on delilah briarwood this episode. i... there's smth very ironic about laudna being worried abt ashton's betrayal and the way he hurt her and the others with his deception and selfishness, coupled with my understanding of the absolute fucking insane, borderline stupid danger of even SPEAKING to delilah briarwood, let alone working WITH her.

i think it's hypocritical, but i don't feel any animosity towards laudna. just..sadness. delilah is a parasite. a disgusting, cruel, evil bitch who wants laudna to be... that weak little girl easily crushed under her thumb. she may preach abt laudna's latent power and potential, but laudna won't serve her purpose if she TRULY gains the strength to cast delilah aside forever. i don't think delilah was telling the truth abt their fates last episode, and that's why i so deeply want laudna to toss aside that defeatist mindset that has only gotten worse since episode one. maybe im wrong, maybe delilah was actually being genuine.

i kept watching imogens/laura's face during laudna's moments speaking with delilah alone, and it just made me sad because she didn't need to be alone. she had imogen, but she still felt the need to run and hide away. god i just want her to be happy.

i really liked the doll she made for ashton, even though delilah made it really creepy for no reason, the dramatic cunt she is. her assessment of ashton as being a child may seem rude or even a projection but to me it's the truth. ashton has not grown past his childhood. past abandonment and pain and mistrust and love that never lasts and always hurts. that shit followed them to adulthood and anyone who has any number of mental illnesses and childhood trauma will tell you that it's so easy to feel yourself stuck as a reactive, stubborn, bitter little kid trapped in a shitty cycle of pain. both ashton and laudna this episode felt like they were both broken, sad children interacting. laudna clinging to comfort from delilah, hiding away, mentally reverting to the person she was the last time she was in whitestone. ashton, clinging to his lost childhood and the acceptance of laudna's doll, the admittance that they'd never had a doll before. god... they're so sad, im gonna scream.

fcg apologizing for forcing faith down ashtons throat was sweet and so was ashton apologizing for being so bitter abt fcg's faith. now i just need fcg to apologize for the multiple instances where he put laudna in danger by casting turn undead with no acknowledgement of laudna afterwards.

fcg saying that ashton didn't love anyone or care about anyone hurt me a bit, because while i understood why they were saying those things, it was so... obviously untrue. before all of this, ashton has shown again and again and again how much he loves bells hells, and especially fcg. i know that ashton almost dying over smth so arrogant, desperate and foolish would make anyone question what someone's idea of "love" is, but still. it stung. maybe because i have been there. i know what it's like to be doubted and mistrusted because you ruined smth good callously and carelessly.

chetney... chetney really loves fearne. i don't care if y'all don't get it or if y'all still think chet is some joke character with no substance, I never understood that shit and i simply never will. chet and fearne probably have the best relationship in all of bells' hells -- and yes, that includes imogen and laudna because god knows those two have shit brewing under the surface that needs to be HANDLED, i.e: laudna being defeatist abt their relationship even tho it's barely begun.

chetney's a good man. him going after fearne was the best choice and im glad he gave her a couple laughs before she went off to wander. he cares about her so much, and he BELIEVES in her so much, and i love them. i LOVED the way he went in on ashton. hurting fearne by making a shitty decision and letting her bear the burden of watching ashton die right in front of her was... bad. it is very complicated but, that's pretty cut and dry.

i like him testing ashton again and again. telling him to leave but also being glad they chose to be brave and stay, and face the consequences of their actions. attacking ashton to see what all of any of that shit was even for. (im a little bummed that the shard didn't fully wake up yet but...i love the suspense im just impatient).

FEARNE. CALLOWAY. i love fearne, and i love the breakdown during the first part of the episode. it was such a raw moment and it established the tone of the episode so quickly. im glad that fearne knows that while ashton fucked up royally, her rejecting of the shard and complacence in ashton's plans was also royally stupid. i don't think her being terrified of taking the shard is bad or stupid, it's actually one of my favorite fearne character choices. no one ever actually asked her WHY she didn't want it, and when she said she didn't want it, it was still decided by the hells that the shard would go to fearne. (they're very shit at communication, poor babies). im happy that she specifically clarified that ashton did not threaten or manipulate her (plus he gave her many opportunities to not be involved with his bullshit if it made her uncomfy so im hoping the insane critters who keep treating ashton like some evil, predatory person finally stfu).

fearne being so scared of a version of herself that was sad, lonely, and "evil" to the point that she chose to believe that it was ashton's destiny to take in both shards is so... so rich. i hope she talks about that more in the next episode because i don't think she's EVER brought it up since exu. i don't think the shard would change fearne's personality but god the fact that SHE is so afraid of herself and what she's capable of.... AHHHH. love this damn party.

i hope liam knows that expect really painful roleplaying from him when he comes back cause i really do need ashton and orym interactions like i need air.

the choice to go to the fey realm was brilliant and i missed nana morri so it's a win for me. bells hells COULD have done what they've been doing for a while now, which is ignoring the pain they're all feeling and pushing forward, but ashton doing what they did was the straw that broke the camel's back and im GLAD because i have been begging them all to have real conversations with each other that don't get cut short prematurely for whatever reason.

i do hope that they do really lean into the self care aspect involving therapy and talking through their issues with ALL of the members present or even in groups, and it isn't just fun and games. they're prone to distraction. i love my little guys.

:( two weeks without bells hells. is it thursday, yet???

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