#and like many people have said already it’s insensitive- intentional or not.

[battle-subway-ghost]

//Response to the PSA thing (your tags)

//No someone did that, I saw it, I unfollowed the person because of it because it was starting to make me intensely uncomfy how often they pounced on real issues while rping- (I rp to relax not talk about what's going on in the world-)

// Originally I wasn’t gonna respond to this until I reread it and saw that this isn’t a one time thing. Oh. Oh….

I don’t wanna like- publicly shame this person or anything, from what I’ve heard privately they’re coming from a place of concern and care for the topic(s) at hand!! I can understand that. But also there’s a time and a place for this… and funny Pokémon roleplay is absolutely not the place.

I hope this can be a learning experience for everyone involved if anything else? Nobody go out and harass this person- they don’t deserve that kind of malice over this.

#ooc #it’s very tasteless and insensitive to do this (repeatedly) but I get it. I just hope this opens their eyes on why it’s harmful/insensitive #this is the first and hopefully last time I’ll bring up subjects this heavy on here #I also use Pokémon Irl as an escape from The Horrors ™️ as I’m sure most people on here do #but again I understand. The world is really fucking scary right now and everyone deserves a space to talk about that #just… a funny Pokémon roleplay community is not that place. you won’t find any of the discussion you want to find anyways #and like many people have said already it’s insensitive- intentional or not. #anyways this was definitely something to see half an hour after waking up— #something about curating your experience on tumblr because I have never heard of this person at all until just now- #anyways that’s enough rambling. uhh. take care of yourself the human brain was not meant to process so much bad information at once etc etc #I’m going to go get something to drink man. idk

[miraculousdeservesbetter2024]

Ships:

Chlonette

Adribrina

Lukalix

Characters:

Miss Bustier

Andre

Rose

Hmmm…🤔

Ships:

Chlonette

👍👍👍

My favorite Chloe OTP! On the surface, Chlonette might just look like your basic cute crackship or possible redemption/reformation story for Chloe, but thanks to this Chlonette server I'm in (with these awesome people I might add), Chlonette is a lot more complex and has more layers than you think. My reasons for shipping it are a possible Chloe redemption/reformation, Chloe can of course treat Marinette better, enemies to lovers (though in my case, it’s enemies, to hesitant friends, to friends and THEN to lovers), they generually look interesting together, and Chloe already has (or did have) a crush on Ladybug, so that's to assume if she had an crush on Ladybug, she might be her type.

Also, before S4-5, I saw Marinette (other than Miss Bustier, Sabrina, and possibly Adrien) being really the only one who truly understands Chloe. I feel that Mari being Ladybug is more prominent when it comes to this. Also, I feel that Marinette and Chloe are a lot alike when you really think about it when you take away their different upbringings. People dislike these two together for obvious and understandable reasons (the way Chloe canonically treats Marinette, Chloe's a bully, Marinette gave up on Chloe etc.), but I personally think it has potential (or at least it did, until canon/Astruc ruined it).

Adribrina

👍

Adribrina isn't a bad ship. Two friends of mine got me invested in this ship (and it also comes from the fact that I also ship Lukabrina). From what I’ve gathered, people ship because it’s “cat and dog” shipping and the lack of interactions these two had in the series. So basically it completely resonates from potential, which is understandable. I also think it would be a bit interesting to see these two interact.

Lukalix

👍

I prefer this ship as a strong friendship, but I’m perfectly fine with people shipping it. It has some potential and the two are holders of time-related miraculouses 😄

Characters

Miss Bustier

Eh…

👍👎

Sorry. I know it’s a copout, but I legitimately feel REAL indifferent on Bustier right now. Her teachings at first came off as wholesome and understandable, but once you really look into it, not only she’s an enabler to Chloe’s bad behavior, but throws her actual good student under the bus and doesn’t even bother to take up for her against Lila (Ladybug episode). Then later ends up throwing Chloe under the bus too once she starts to “finally understand Chloe’s true nature”. Which I GET the intent behind this, but I don’t like it because SHE’S one of the many adults who enabled her in the first place, but now she wants to give up on her!?

“BUT Chloe got her fired even though she’s pregnant!” It doesn’t matter? I’m not trying to sound cruel here (because that really is messed up), but I just think as the grown adult who choose to enable Chloe and gave her the benefit of the doubt (compared to what she did for her other students btw), does she really have the right to bail on her now??? I’m not trying to sound insensitive or unsympathetic of Bustier’s situation, but I just think it’s not all on Chloe. I don’t think Miss Bustier is a bad person, but some of the stuff she does is seriously questionable.

Andre

👎👎👎

I didn’t necessarily “hate” Andre in the past, but now? He’s a corrupt politician and a bad father who gave up on his own daughter AND replaced her with a girl who’s not even 💯 his. I also hate how he’s somehow more sympathetic than the 14 year old girl who he failed to raise property. It’s so dumb that it’s constantly said that Chloe is “evil” because she doesn’t want to lose her privileges, but who GIVES HER those privileges in the first place??? So that automatically falls on her PARENT.

Rose

👍

I like her! She’s not my favorite character, but she’s a sweet character who represents jubilation well. 

#a lot to say on this one I suppose #miraculous ladybug #ml #mlb #miraculous tales of ladybug and chat noir #miraculous #miraculous tales of ladybug and cat noir #miraculousbeezcentral #chlonette #lukalix #adribrina #rose lavillant #andre bourgeois #caline bustier #rant #vent #chloe bourgeois

[heinzpilsner]

It's basically me analysing things with Yon Rha again, but withot being too offensively unempathic and biased, lol

Hey, I'm trying, you can give me that at least!

(Perhaps if I didn't ignore all my notifications, I'd get it faster, but hey, I quite enjoy my little intellectual puzzle here so far. Don't wanna spoil it for myself with interactivity, lol)

Okay, thinking of Katara's encounter with Yon Rha not through the prizm of my zutara brainrot now (not gonna pretend it is not affecting my judgment, it most definitely still is, lol), maybe I'm not giving enough credit to the cognitive/informational component of this event.

(Your honour, there are so many components in here, and whose components have components on their components! You can't expect me to juggle all of them at the same time and not ending up like Zuko during his date with Jin, lol)

Previously I said it was a fruitless trip, but I didn't really take into account the specifics of the case - the ones connected to learning Yon Rha's side of the story and seeing him as a person, - as well as more subtle psychological consequences of the encounter. But as I said early, I'm not a psychologist (also, not the most emphatically gifted person around, as you already can tell I guess, yikes), and my understanding of intricacies of such inner workings is quite limited.

Also, there is a thing to consider - I don't know much about the writer, and how psychologically competent she was. Of course, I could go full "author is dead" approach here and try and read really hard into this case as if it was a real life event (I wouldn't be surprised if someone much more competent than I already did it though), but... I'm trying working through "what author really implied by this" logic when analysing tSR because I respect the writer's ability to build a coherent psychological narrative within her work - given how ambitious she was with the complexion of chosen topics, you'd expect no less from her. Just throwing a bunch of random events on your audience end expect them to built their customised narrative out of it may be a fun postmodern game, but... Just but, I guess.

What I'm saying here is that there's two things about the encounter that can be easily noticed even by most casual watchers but not by me apparently geez.

First of them is that Katara learns there was a reason behind her mother's death - namely, Katara's waterbending. Oh boy. What can I say? I guess the girl could live without the guilt and painful associations connected to her bending produced by the knowledge. Another point to my "maybe facing Yon Rha wasn't such a great idea after all" argument, I guess.

Still, it was important for Katara to learn about her mother's last moments and sacrifice. It was pretty insensitive of me to overlook this fact in my previous analysis (... and I can only imagine how many people I potentially pissed off by this, oops. In my defence though - the whole "revenge" context was pretty distracting). I guess you can't call the trip completely fruitless then - althouht the fruits, may I say, were bittersweet at best and sour at worst.

(Thinking about it now, it's kinda curious that the only truly valuable thing Zuko got from his "closure" with Ozai well, except for the valuable opportunity to practice his lightening redirection was information about his mum as well, even though it wasn't his initial intention. Was it a deliberate parallel, I wonder?

... Wait a minute, why it wasn't Zuko's intention though? It would make much more sense, if you ask me. Oh well, I guess writers had too many things to juggle on their hands as well.)

Another thing is that at the start of the episode Yon Rha was a "monster" for Katara, and then he became just an empty sad man to her. I take it as a deliberate point the writer made. But what exactly does it mean within the narrative? Just a fact of life? A thing for Katara (and audience) to reflect on with no real consequences within the plot?

Or was Yon Rha's personality somehow connected to why Katara forgave Zuko, after all? But how, exactly?

I can only think of juxtaposition. "Look at this guy, Zuko is not so empty and cares about his mum, hence he's worth of forgiveness" kind of logic. But... I mean, Zuko has many problems obviously but emptiness was never one of them, lol. It still counted, perhaps - amongst other small weights on the scales (the weight of it depends entirely on Katara's previous assessment of Zuko's personality though, and I have reasons to believe it wasn't so unflattering at this point).

Does this whole 'cognitive' perspective rearrange my understanding of the reasons behind Katara's forgiveness of Zuko? Yep.

Looking at the trip as meaningful for Katara now (Zuko helped her to learn about her mother's sacriface), it makes much more sense to me. Many of my previous arguments still stand, but the weight shifted more towards platonic reasons (I mean, on one hand, this reason is linked to their connection in Ba Sing Se and reinforces it, but on the other, it's a rational reason for forgiveness, as opposed to irrational ones).

Which feels more appropriate by being less shippy, even though it was fun to compose bizzare conspiracy theories about secretly coded zutara puzzle left by the writer for us to decipher, lol (Your honour, the writer was zutara, it wouldn't be that unlikely!)

It's all about interpretations though. As I said, there are so many components in here you can easily transform the context by shifting the weights as you like.

(Ugh, my posts manage to become obsolete so fast. But hey, it's my live thinking process you're looking at, what do you expect, lol?

I'm not trying to create perfect things for people to repost or something. It's just me playing with my mind to relax. It's nice.)

#atla #katara #zuko

[winns-stuff]

One thing I've been noticing in these chapters, but that there's been there since the start, is that RS seems to have an aversion or a negative opinion about open relationships. The few open relationships we have in the comic are treated as less legit than the monogamous ones and there's the implication that all relationships should lead to marriage. Minthe, who is seen as the undesirable partner in comparison to Persephone, is considered "not wife material" and is treated as a cheater for getting together with Thanatos when she and Hades had an established open relationship. Ares, no matter how many times they make it clear that Hades and Persephone are together, still points out that Perspehone is unmarried as if that means she's likely to get together with anyone that isn't Hades just because she doesn't have a wedding ring on her finger yet. And the worst is that instead of having Persephone or Hades call out Ares for this comment, we instead get a joke about how Hades would attempt to propose to Persephone in that moment.

Not to mention how Hades just really loves to call Perspehone "wife". I usually don't have a problem with this, and I actually love when characters in ships use "wife" to refer to their partner, but in LO case it feels really forced and like Hades wants to rush his relationship with Persephone and get married already instead of dating a few years before marriage. Also, there are other terms of endearment besides "wife". If Hades can call Hera "bunny", why can't he have a cute nickmame for Persephone that isn't "wife".

I don't want to make assumptions about RS, but at this point it feels like a lot of writing in LO are RS opinions about traditional marriage vs open relationships.

And last, I just wanted to say I like your blog and I've been loving reading your opinions about LO.

aww thank you! I loved this read a lot actually because you’re right and I’ve never thought of that. why does she have such a huge problem with open relationships? maybe it’s not her intention but it is questionable how literally every single open relationship in LO has been thrown to the wolves for Persephone who is as you said “wife material”. that’s honestly pretty insensitive to state how people in open relationships aren’t “marriage” or “commitment material” and also I’ll add another thing. it seems like each open relationship we’ve seen has no real connection romance wise, like with Aphrodite and Ares all we saw them really do was be physical with one another and with Hades and Minthe they also never really connected unless they’re getting intimate. maybe I’m just reaching but it genuinely feels like the comic is stating that all open relationships are is just for sexual needs to be met (maybe?), or I’m not exactly sure but the coincidence does rub me the wrong way.

I may or may not be reaching with this one and if I am I would like to apologize but if I’m not then.. I’m not sure actually. This is just an odd occurrence.

#lo critical #anti lore olympus #anti lo

[rxttenslutcemeterysys]

i just read your apology, its okay everyone makes mistakes, i never intended to shame anybody and if i hurt you or anybody else i completely apologize.. i was kinda tired functioning on just red bulls and i didnt completely understand what the anon was trying to say. I thought they said "i love cannibalism" so thats why i reacted. again im very sorry if i hurt you..

Hi! Thank you for taking the time to read my apology and respond to it.

I know your intention was never to harm anyone, not in the slightest. But you do have to remember this IS the internet. People are sensitive and insensitive to many things on it.

From my understanding they did say those exact words, but it was in a lighthearted impersonation of this person. And from what I saw, was just mainly on a fictional level and not in a seriously believing nature. <- But I can't say for sure cause it might be hidden from sight and such.

Like you mentioned we all make mistakes. But we also all have different beliefs and stances on things, and that is why you should use the tags to filter out things you don't wanna see, and even use the block button if you need to due to not everyone doing so or improperly using tags.

I'm not going to lie, I overreacted with how I went along with bringing it up and was quite rude + petty with a few things regarding bringing it to your attention. I apologize for if anything I said struck to you particularly, as an explanation(not an excuse) I've had heightened irritability with my already very intense emotions and mood swings on a day to day basis. I am not in anyway shape or for, excusing how I handled it and such because of that, just shedding light on why and how i went from 0-50 real quick. :)!

#decays askbox #decays answers #drama #tw drama #cw drama #apologizing:)!

[ironlvngs]

𝐈𝐂 𝐓𝐀𝐒𝐊 𝐈𝐕 

— interrogations, part 2. 

     the last time that link was in this position, he had mentioned only one student by name — just for fun, for a little prank to piss him off, thinking it would come to nothing. not long ago, that same student was arrested, with link left wondering how much influence he had over that. did it matter, what he had told the cops ? or did it have nothing to do with it ? however, this time, he went in with full intentions to really throw a couple names under the bus. 

   they took a seat as instructed and was introduced to a new face they hadn’t seen before — agent murray. agent brown had been with them before, in the last interrogation. link declined their offer for a cup of coffee, and put on their best face — something told them they would need it. 

“can you talk about your time capsule video? give us some context for the clip that was leaked?”

     and now, link was really glad he didn’t say anything that he would have found funny in 50 years... but not so funny, the week after he sent it in. they shrug their shoulders, a small smile beginning to light up their features. “ what can i say ? i maybe said some things that were insensitive... things i shouldn’t have said. about greer, about this school. the truth is, i was just in a vulnerable position. ” the tone of their voice changed, to something more raw and genuine, and the smile that they had put on began to strategically fade — a sad boy, who really just missed their best friend. “ — i guess i had been drinking, and missing greer a little extra. i was mad at ogden for not taking care of one of their best students, and i took it out on the school. that’s all that was. ” 

"were you aware that greer morrison had submitted a video at the end of last year?”

     he could see murray’s eyes narrowing at him at the question — link could tell, they assumed he would have known. because apparently, it was already known that link knew pretty much everything there was to know about greer. but in all honesty, that clip surprised even him — the context of it was even more chilling for link, considering... — he was pulled out of his thoughts, remembering he where he was. “ no, not really. seeing her face again was... it brought up a lot of feelings for me. i just wish she would have reached out to me a bit more, you know ? about her boyfriend. if he really had anything to do with this, i just can’t help but feel like maybe i could have done something to prevent this — greer used to tell me everything. or... so i thought. ” part it was truth, really. but the other part was amping up his own arc in this story. 

“had you ever heard of anything regarding THE NAIVE NEWCOMER using steroids?”

     “ — maybe. i heard rumours, every now and then... but you know, people always talk. especially at ogden. i wasn’t sure whether to believe it or not. why ? is it true ? ” his curiosity wins and he asks, but he didn’t receive an answer. instead, they move on to the next question. 

“had greer brought up breaking up with him ever? or anything of the sort, like she did in her video?”

     and how was he going to play this one ? link had to think fast, because he was beginning to worry that any wrong thing he may say right now could immediately point the fingers to him as a suspect. “ look, i won’t sit here and pretend that greer was the best girlfriend just because she was a close friend of mine. but as far as i knew, she didn’t have any intentions of breaking up with him. so, while not so surprising that she said that... it was never really brought up to me. ”

“do you have any reason to believe THE GOLDEN GIRL would want to leave ogden college?”

     to link ? there were so many reasons — a long fucking list of reasons. it might have more to do with him projecting. though, he couldn’t play this one off easy; he did imply in his video that he thought greer left because she couldn’t stand it here anymore. link lets out a long sigh, more for show than anything. they lean forward, making eye contact with the two agents. “ i’m gonna be honest with you guys here... if i answer this question, i wouldn’t be able to help but make it personal. i’ve always wanted to leave this place, but mostly because it’s tied to some... some family history that i would much rather leave behind. ” appealing to a person’s emotionality was always a winner in link’s books — even if having this conversation made them internally want to gouge their eyes out. “ there are some... some people here that that constantly remind me of the things i had to go through when i was young. and if it wasn’t so hard to do so, i would have left so long ago. but you know, i...— ” he lets out a scoff, leaning back in his chair. “ — i never had money growing up. the only reason i’m here is because of a scholarship. i’m hoping to get out of here as soon as i have a degree and a career to chase after, just to leave these memories behind me. greer was a close friend of mine, and i often shared these personal things with her. we used to talk about how fun it would be to go to other states together ” he looks away with a small, soft smile — feigning reminiscing on some memories with greer. “ so, i projected everything i felt about being here onto her when she was reported missing because.... because that, to me, felt easier than to admit that she might be.... well, i hope you won’t make me say it out loud. ” and just for that extra effect, link sniffles his nose a little, looking down at his feet. “ so to answer your question, i don’t think i can. i would just like to believe that she ran away, rather than any other alternative. ”

“you said some people remind you of home... what do you mean by that?”

    and link was certainly hoping they would ask, so that he could exact a perfect vengeance on booker for the way he made him look, and for taking his camera — he knew it was with him. “ — i shouldn’t say. everyone knows him as the hometown hero, but no one knew him like i did. you probably wouldn’t believe me if i said booker wells wasn’t as pristine as everyone thinks he is, would you ? ” of course that was rhetorical, and totally up to them. but the bait would be easy to catch, after the set-up with the sob story. if only he gets his words right. “ well... whether you believe me or not, it is what it is. you asked, and i’m telling. i think... it started to become increasingly obvious that he began to look down on me and my whole situation with money and my family — which was beyond my control, but i guess that some people can’t look past that. ” link was just hoping at this point, that at least one of them would relate to this. “ — actually, could i be a bit ballsy right now ? i think it may be worth your time to look into him. it might be hard to believe, but he’s really not as innocent as he looks. i hope you’ll trust me on this. ”

“and why haven’t you said anything about him before?”

    link begins to let out a scoff, “ seriously ? it’s terrifying enough doing this now — my not so great past and little to no money going up against beloved town hero ? just... i thought i could trust you both not to think of this as any malicious act. i’d do anything to help greer’s case. ”

"what do you know a student named charlotte fletcher?"

     “ charlie ? not much. we might have had a brief fling a while back but... we don’t know each other that well. it fizzled pretty quickly. ”

"and her relationship with greer?"

     “ — i knew they were friends, but greer never spoke about her much. she wasn’t a topic of conversation for us. so, really, i don’t know much about her. ” link shrugs. it was a bit of a lie, but even if he and charlie weren’t on the nicest terms, he could tell she might be on their list of people to watch. link wasn’t in the business of snitching — or, well, he definitely was... depending on what you did to him. or if snitching would be beneficial to him. and in this case, it wasn’t. 

"how about juliette hastings-villiers? her relationship with greer?"

      though, they couldn’t help themselves here. “ — it was odd. everything that greer did, juli wanted to do the exact same thing. ” link knew that juli had her doubts about link and, well, it would look better for him if he made her look suspicious first. “ — a little creepy, if you ask me. i guess i tried to keep my distance. ”

#ogdentask #hehe #this got long i apologize

[wonderful-world-of-hetalia]

About your agere post...

Why do you always have to lie? I am that so-called "former mutual". You are willfully misinterpreting what I said to villainize me, even when I wasn't speaking about you, OR real age regressors. What I was very CLEARLY talking about at the time are the adults who PRETEND to age regress in order to manipulate minors who don't know better. How dare you put such insensitive, ableist, vile words in my mouth. If your post was truly made with positive intent, you would not have needed to drag a friend that you lost in fucking June of 2022 into it. Keep our names out of your mouth. Mind your goddamn business. I'm tired of hearing about your bullshit.

hello anon, which I can clearly tell who you are from your tone; I will not stoop down to your level, but i am willing to educate about what age regression is because it seems that even when you said that in the first place, you've confused age regressors with the dreaded DDLG community, who are known to infiltrate many SFW spaces; those same people in that dreaded community are the ones who you were "CLEARLY talking about at the time are the adults who PRETEND to age regress in order to manipulate minors who don't know better."

as i said earlier, the DDLG (and variants) people you confuse us with do not belong in agere spaces at all, since they believe regression is inherently kinky, which is already a huge misconception about agere. there have been countless reports of ddlg people using regression to lure actual regressors into their fetish without consent, which is actually fucked because many regressors are minors who cannot consent! when people regress into littlespace we cannot consent even when their body is an adult! literally look at how many times regressors have to tell the ddlg community to not interact with anything, because many times, the ddlg community does not have boundaries and will sexualize anything seen as childish, innocent, cute, or even in some cases, sexualize an entire alternate fashion that was meant to repel these people away in the first place.

now let's go on to why people regress and there's a good amount of reasons why. “People with a history of trauma may be more likely to regress” and is “used by people who’ve experienced childhood trauma, mental health issues, or physical health issues.” i regress because i have survived abuse, and i have involuntarily regressed when i am reminded of the countless times i have been abused and dehumanized from my family and from my abuser, who was very prominent in this fandom although if i recall, they have moved to the Centricide fandom. other factors of why people regress include:

schizophrenia

dissociative identity disorder (DID)

post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD)

depression

dementia

borderline personality disorder (BPD)

think about why people regress in the first place before making an incredibly harmful assumption about a perfectly healthy coping mechanism that has been recommended by countless psychiatrists as a means to heal from trauma and to reclaim a childhood many survivors never had.

this extremely toxic mentality is why I have said that the hetalia fandom has been extremely dangerous towards regressors, especially if someone sees one of the country people as a caregiver to them! germany has always been the closest thing i’ve ever had to a father figure, because guess what? i lost my dad when I was 3 due to generational trauma taking a toll on him!

also about that last part: your names have never been mentioned at all, even in the tags??? i do not stoop down by calling out the names of certain people because i am an adult with critical thinking skills and know better than to spit the vile names of those who harmed me. besides, why not mind your own business when you see regressors having fun and healing their wounds with the anime country guys? consult this image:

#// abuse #hetalia #if someone from that dreaded community i mentioned hijacks this post i will commit violence #because agere people in this fandom already have so much to go through #also i am still going to tag this as hetalia bc not all regressors appreciate hetalia in their agere spaces #and hetalia ageres are still incredibly brave for standing their ground in this fandom

[prvtocol]

@himncskur ( Sarah ) : 14﹕ a  text  that  was  never  sent . |  𝑻𝑯𝑬 𝑶𝑻𝑯𝑬𝑹 𝑳𝑰𝑵𝑬   . ( selectively accepting ) *also a continuation of x

The discipline to not check her personal messages until break time or after work hours is obliterated when she sees several sent in the middle of the night and Sarah as the sender. 3AM is a troubling time and immediately she fears something is wrong so she breaks her own protocol and reads them — a mistake.

Aware she hit a sour note that past evening over drinks by simply stating a difference of opinion on those who choose certain “entertainment” over others. She hardly pushed it, one single remark opining the loss of humanity, the loss of helping one another from folly, and Sarah stormed off in a fury. Rude was Brianne’s confused take, especially if someone deems you a friend. But then, Sarah’s emotional baggage is so heavy, the topic so raw, certainly she does not want to hear about kinder solutions. Maybe Brianne was being insensitive.

But then this. It feels like being back in high school. The type of petty drama Brianne would adamantly avoid like the plague. She knew rekindling a relationship with someone from twenty years ago and whose current situation is so far removed from her own would be difficult. An acquaintanceship was all she truly sought; an occasional meet up when the schedule allowed to chat nostalgically and then try to find some branches of affinity to hold onto. Easier said than done when one is a modest corpo and another an erotic BD star.

But Sarah seemed more keen on jumping into something deeper, perhaps searching for connection to a lost life before that trauma caged her in. A shoulder to cry on. Brianne can be that friend and has so many times, extending herself to the plight of others at disregard for her own emotional well-being. But right now with the stress of her own life, why must she take on another person’s problems? And why should she risk the relation to someone with so much scandal in the screamsheets. Even more stress. That’s the real problem, isn’t it? Ruthless coworkers are always looking for a way to twist the truth, then pull her position from under her. It’s too risky.

Sarah assumes as much unfortunately. It is there, screaming out in her text — I have enough people making me feel like I’m something dirty or broken. I don’t need my friend doing it too. It is not her intent to make her feel like this, never would be, but it is the public eye nonetheless.

With a regretful sigh, Brianne begins a reply:

[ Sarah time pending ] I’m so sorry you feel this way and for having a hand in dealing it. With work as it is and our lives so diverged, I’m not sure I can be that friend you need right now. What we had in the past, it was special. Your company made those lonely conference runs bearable and I always enjoyed our chats in between. But that was a long time ago. With my work as busy as it is and our lives so diverged, I think it impossible to expect us to find what we had again. I’m not trying to make you feel a certain way about yourself through my tendency to hope for change. A change I sincerely hope your life will see someday soon. But I am certain our viewpoints differ so much that mine if spoken will only continue to cause quarrel. Again, I’m sorry Sarah. Please take care of yourself, turn the strength you have left inward and heal. 

But she doesn’t send it and lets it lie, returning to her rule for no personal messaging until break time. Even then, on that short ten minute interval between meetings, it is forgotten. She has too many other problems to fix and too many other people relying on her already.

#himncskur #⚘ ˚◞ answers ◞ 𝑜𝓊𝓉 𝑜𝒻 𝑜𝒻𝒻𝒾𝒸𝑒 𝒶𝓊𝓉𝑜𝓂𝒶𝓉𝒾𝒸 𝓇𝑒𝓅𝓁𝓎. #⚘ ˚◞ interactions ◞ . #(( sorry sarah 😭 #she probably ghosts her for awhile and not totally intentional. work just makes managing her social life hard and hence she has none -_- ))

[dexterlittle]

The term “w*nd*go” is a word derived from the indigenous Algonquin tribe of America that manifests pain, illness and death. Specifically the act of cannibalism and it’s really racist and racially insensitive to use the word without censoring it and stealing terms from indigenous tribes. I know it’s not your oc, you merely reblogged it, but it’s important to be aware of how using that term, indigenous or not, is dangerous. And using it as a non indigenous person is insensitive

It is indeed not my OC and I do know about it and to not use it. Im not a fan of the OC's name. I dont know if the artist isnt indigenous but I do know I shouldn't censor someone's OC name. They might be indigenous themselves. Also the OC's name makes sense with it's background. Maybe the OC didn't pick that nickname and someone else gave them that callsign as it is often the case in the army.

I appreciate your time to educate me but I already knew this. But I dont think I should censor that word in this context. I also believe that unless an indigenous person personally tells me that I should still censor it after being further educated on it, I shouldn't have to. Not that your concern isn't valid but too often people outside of a community will speak for and over them, often adding too much voices in a conversation and making it overwhelming for someone like me, neurodivergent and quite anxious about doing/saying the wrong thing, to find the actual point of view of said community.

I also believe that we shouldn't censor everything and every word that could be harmful, making it even more taboo, as it demonize that word even more and in my opinion makes it harder to have a conversation about it and as to why this word is wrong.

There is a time, place and context to take in consideration. I have a bigger problem with horror movies and TV shows creating monsters/killers based on and named after such indigenous creatures they asked us plenty of time not to use them for multiple reasons than someone making an OC with that name as a callsign that fits with their background/lore.

Also considering this isnt my OC, nor a friend of mine's OC, you could've messaged the artist instead of people who just want to share OCs and art on tumblr.

Again I appreciate that you just want to educate and help. But I am overwhelmed with all the Dos and Donts for many communities to the point of making me very sick and anxious. So I pick my battles to stay mentally sane and this isn't one of them. I'll instead keep spreading words about the injustice and pain the indigenous people are still suffering from today and spread the truth about how my country, Canada, treated them, my ancestors and their descendants still to this day which includes one of my good friend trying to get her culture back and embrace it.

Just to be sure since it is hard to read tone and intentions: You're all good. I am not angry. I am just very anxious at the moment and constantly fighting Intrusive Thoughts calling me Racist almost everyday due to my fear of hurting people with microaggression or saying the wrong thing. Intrusive Thoughts trying to convince me people will think I am a bad person and racist when I know I am not and have a lot to learn to be a better friend, ally and person.

My DMs are open if you want to chat privately on such subjects but know I have little energy per day for such conversations as it gets heavy fast for me and need to recharge.

With this longer than expected text, I wish you a good day/good timezone.

-DexterLittle

[sasquapossum]

OK, this Dawn of Everything book has really got me going. I'm only up to page 63, out of 526 plus notes. Already, this exchange between Lahontan (a Frenchman) and Kandiaronk (of the Wendat people in the Great Lakes area) is gold.

Lahontan: Try for once in your life to actually listen. Can't you see, my dear friend, that the nations of Europe could not survive, without gold and silver - or some similar precious symbol. Without it, nobles, priests, merchants and any number of others who lack the strength to work the soil would simply die of hunger. Our kings would not be kings; what soldiers would we have? Who would work for kings, or anybody else? ... It would plunge Europe into chaos and create the most dismal confusion imaginable. Kandiaronk: You honestly think you're going to sway me by appealing to the needs of nobles, merchants, and priests? If you abandoned concepts of mine and thine, yes, such distinctions between men would dissolve; a levelling [sic] equality would then take its place among you as it now does among the Wendat. And yes, for the first thirty years after the banishing of self-interest, no doubt you would indeed see a certain desolation as those who are only qualified to eat, drink, sleep, and take pleasure would languish and die. But their progeny would be fit for our way of living. Over and over I have set forth the qualities that we Wendat believe ought to define humanity - wisdom, reason, equity, etc. - and demonstrated that the existence of separate material interests knocks all of those on the head. A man motivated by interest cannot be a man of reason.

The book authors' intent here is to show how many ideas we consider foundational now, especially from the so-called Enlightenment, actually had their roots somewhere other than Europe - specifically, in this case, among North American native people. The above is from 1703. Already we see a clear precursor of themes addressed by Adam Smith and Karl Marx. Smith wasn't even born until 1723, Marx until 1818. Their best known works were published until 1776 (Wealth of Nations) and 1867 (Das Kapital) respectively. Kandiaronk beat them by 73-164 years!

Elsewhere, on issues of freedom and equality, Kandiaronk and his peers seem to have been ahead of European thinkers like David Hume (born 1711) or Jean-Jacques Rousseau (born 1712). And those were the vanguard of European thought on such issues. Thomas Hobbes's Leviathan had been published in 1651, John Locke's Treatises of Government in 1689, but it still seems like they were barely ahead (if at all) of those "savages" across the sea.

So yes, that's a very interesting perspective. That said, I still have some reservations. These now-familiar ideas about individual freedom might be an improvement over the monarchist/feudalist sentiment that had prevailed before, but they're also part of the "every man for himself" attitude that so afflicts the modern US. Did we just take some parts (rejection of arbitrary authority) and jettison others (mutual aid) that should have been kept together? Perhaps. Further reading might tell.

In particular, the ableist tone in the middle part of Kandiaronk's reply is troubling. "Only qualified to eat, drink, sleep, and take pleasure" might have been intended to mean the aristocracy, but it also cuts a bit close to the lot of the disabled. That seems insensitive, at best. What sources I've been able to find suggest that Wendat (and other Native American) treatment of mental disability was much more progressive than is common in Eurocentric society even today, but those same sources are disturbingly silent on what happened to people with physical disabilities. Kandiaronk's "fit" remark suggests a grim answer (though no grimmer than in other societies at that time).

That's all for now. More later, I'm sure.

[mysaldate]

First of all, on the ob thing Kalim did it too so don't act like Rook was the only one Vil's overblot was mostly self inflicted.

And the punishing? For what? Don't act like Vil didn't need to believe in his own self and beauty, you may argue that he already did but Vil didn't. Most of book five showed that Vil wasn't confident in his own beauty and ability to win, that's why he cursed Neige.

Besides it wasn't only punishment, Rook genuinely felt like Neige did better and his actions reflected that. Vil wanted to win bc of his own talent and beauty, not out of pity. Don't act like Rook wasn't entitled to his own vote. And don't act like Rook doesn't care or wants to hurt Vil when it's definitely not like that.

Okay, first of all. Kalim did NOT push on Vil after Vil asked to be left alone. In fact, Kalim told Rook to stop because Rook was being insensitive and pushy. If even Kalim, who is bad at reading people, tells you to stop acting a certain way because it's harmful, to not only not stop but keep pushing it is definitely a dick-move at best. Punishing was in that, not in the vote. The "punishment" that Rook self-admittedly bestowed upon Vil was by not giving him privacy and space when Vil was on the verge of a breakdown. THAT was what made Vil overblot.

I'm not sure if you're a twstEN player or something but Vil was not insecure for most of book 5, not in the JP canon anyway. He got insecure once Neige showed up with nursery rhyme and shitty choreography and still was overtaking him. That is when Vil got insecure.

Rook is, of course, entitled to his own choice. But he should make the choice and stick to it. Not make a choice and then say "Well actually, I only did this because Vil didn't deserve to win" which is exactly what he said in the JP canon. AND what he got Vil to believe too between the end of book 5 and the start of book 6.

As for your last point, you either aren't reading my responses or you purposely misinterpret what I said, and I'm not sure which is worse. I said before what many gaslighting victims will tell you too: The perpetrator doesn't always realize they're being abusive. They don't always do it with the intention to hurt you. But they end up hurting you in horrible ways regardless and it can fuck you up for years.

So no, when I say Rook is a gaslighter, I'm not saying he's actively trying to hurt Vil. Is he trying to isolate him and make him rely only on Rook himself? Yes. Does he repeatedly undermine Vil's self-confidence and hurt his perception of himself? Also yes. Does he attempt to make Vil doubt his senses or perception? Yes. Does he try to make Vil think other people dislike him? Yes, on multiple occasions.

Does he do all of that on purpose to hurt or socially cripple Vil? Who knows. I personally believe he does, but that is just my opinion and not really supported by canon like all the other things I brought up here. The canon doesn't tell us either way.

Now, if you'd be willing to come off anon and have a normal discussion like two equals instead of hiding behind a mask while I'm the only one giving actual arguments and proof, that would be wonderful. I will no longer be responding to any more anonymous asks on this topic. My dms are open for those who want to have a normal discussion.

[fatherofmachine]

All righty, I feel like it’s REALLY necessary to talk about some things. It’s a really important thing imo to understand this because it seems like so many people don’t & I assume it’s because Harold’s personality type makes his outward expressions and feelings a lot more internal. Feelings & emotions tend to come in second place with Harold, that’s just naturally how his mind works ;  he’s able to put his feelings aside entirely & avoid making decisions based on them ( we’ve seen a few times where he snaps a bit or he gets rlly nervous but that’s when he’s under very heavy stress, like when he snapped at Root whilst she was holding him captive & forcing him to watch her torture someone. like ... out of all the things most people would’ve done, a slight sharp retort is super mild & Impressive ). He’s a logically thinking person which, to a lot of people on the outside, seems to suggest that he’s HARSH or even insensitive & like ?? In several cases he is kind of harsh, blunt....but there are TWO things to remember.

1. If Finch’s harsh / stubborn opinion is proven wrong, he’s going to own up to that. He’s going to change his opinion & he’s going to apologize, if necessary.

One particular STUBBORN opinion is his paranoia about The Machine, which he expresses throughout the series ( albeit it lessens with time ). & I’d imagine many people are like Finch just trust her already because that has crossed my mind before & I can also see how people could think he was being unkind & insensitive to her ( which I’m not saying he wasn’t exactly, he was, but.... *gestures to the next sentence* ). THE THING IS....there’s an extremely good reason for this. WITHOUT Harold’s extensive paranoia, The Machine likely would’ve turned out like Samaritan. The Machine is the way she is because Finch wanted to make 500000% sure that she would NEVER turn to do things that he was terrified she might, given that’s how DANGEROUS AI’s are naturally. As he’d said, AIs are born with objectives. They’re not born with empathy or any sense of Good & Evil.

He realizes how wrong he is AGAIN by assuming people’s lives would be better without him, because he’s not important enough & their happiness & safety matters more. But he sees how not better off Grace is without him through time & how he assumes Reese wont come looking for him when Root captures him but HE RELENTLESSLY GOES AFTER HIM & Finch may have hoped a little bit that Reese would come for him but he didn’t expect it. The numbers are more important. The Machine doesn’t try to help Reese find Finch initially bc FINCH PROGRAMMED HER NOT TO. Even to the very end, he tried to sacrifice himself but Reese & The Machine out-fox him because they love him & they don’t want him to sacrifice himself. He’s so IMPORTANT to them & he has a hard time understanding how important he is to those he’s close to.

Throughout the series, Harold is seemingly insensitive to The Machine & he distances himself from her ( especially so by avoiding using specific pronouns, which he does something SIMILAR to everyone by using their last names. It’s like a defense mechanism but he does let that slip & it shows how much he does care & how attached he is imo ). He doesn’t do these things out of malice or ill intent, he does these things because he’s RIGHTFULLY terrified of the things that could go wrong, of how he could be tricked if he decided to blindly trust his creation ( literally every version of The Machine except the one that remained tried to trick &/or kill him ok ).

Which is why it’s SO GOOD that he & The Machine finally have a long time to talk because she proves how wrong he is, how WRONG he is to doubt his own ability that created her & how truly TRUSTWORTHY she is, as he hoped she would be. She is his vision but he constantly doubted himself i think...& as she explains how she’s able to LOVE, he very clearly realizes how wrong he is & i feel like that’s a point where he accepts how wrong he is ( i dont know if he ever got to express that, but tbh I would love to write that discussion omg ). HE’S SO PROUD OF HER. & in regard to Root’s opinion of him & The Machine, she helped him trust The Machine & helped him let himself love her whilst Harold helped Root regain her humanity & they basically developed a father / daughter dynamic i cry about. bUT ANYWAY

2. Harold is selfless to a damn fault. Everyone’s lives matter so much more than his own & he expresses how much he doesn’t want people to risk their lives for him SEVERAL TIMES. Some would say that him recruiting everyone to save people ect. was a selfish thing but like?? Every single one of them became a BETTER version of themselves ( the Machine showed what life would’ve been like without his influence / the Machine & certainly one or two of them weren’t bad but it shows how GOOD of an influence him & the Machine were honestly ) & every single one of them WANTED to be there ‘till the end, they KNEW they might die but they were in for the ride anyway EVEN IF Harold asked them not to sacrifice themselves. He cares very deeply for those whom he slowly, eventually trusts & to say that he doesn’t just because those feelings aren’t spilling out of him is just .... ????  His guilt for ANYONE’S death indirectly caused by him is immense. He literally drowns in it & that’s illustrated very clearly to me ( “ Does survival’s guilt pass when everything is in fact YOUR FAULT ? ” ) but he & I have similar personality types so I might just understand how he thinks easier than some, idk.

So, with these things in mind, it boggles my mind that anyone would even for a second consider that Harold Finch didn’t care that he indirectly caused the deaths of people he loved or that he didn’t try to STOP them from getting killed, because he did try. He did the best he could, given the circumstances. He absolutely made MISTAKES & he certainly wasn’t always in the right, he was wrong about a lot of things but he owned up to the things he was wrong about & to his mistakes. 

#KNOWING THE ANSWER HAS COST ME SOMETHING I VALUE MORE THAN MY OWN LIFE. ( character study ) #WATCHING WITH TEN THOUSAND EYES … LISTENING WITH A MILLION EARS. ( meta ) #me reposting these and remembering that some of them came out of me being irrtated at outer fandom nonsense lmfao

[outivv]

— y/n who can’t eat in front of others —

Synopsis: I’m self projecting onto genshin characters once more

Warnings: I guess… hints at insecurity? And not proofread per usual

Game/ fandom: genshin impact

Characters: diluc, zhongli, kazuha, childe, and thoma (all fairly platonic)

Pronouns for reader: gender neutral/ not mentioned

A/n: hello everyone! I really wanted to write something for myself, and after a lot of thought I decided to go through with this one. With school coming up I wanted to write something to… almost calm my nerves? And if it helps anyone else that has a similar problem then great! But whether you relate to this or not, I hope you enjoy, and take care of yourself! <3

— Diluc —

You have your own section at the tavern. No doubt about it.

Diluc noticed you’d become anxious when eating at the tavern, and dreaded eating there all together. Diluc took a… silent approach to letting you know that he knows.

Basically he invited you over to the tavern, and guided you to a seat on the second floor of the tavern. And it was the one that was the most hidden.

He won’t pry for answers on why you feel this way, he just wants you to be comfortable and happy.

— zhongli —

Zhongli invites you to dinner a lot, and over time he noticed you seem… on edge whenever you eat, and then you started turning down his invitations?

Zhongli was confused, he thought you were comfortable around him? Was it something he did? He had to confront you about it.

When he does ask you about it, you just said “oh, I feel uncomfy eating around other people” then zhongli slightly understands

I think he’ll start reserving a table at a restaurant in advance, and makes sure it’s fairly hidden. Or he’ll just invite you over to his house to have a glass of osmanthus wine

I think zhongli would ask you why you feel so uncomfortable eating around others, and if you’re willing to talk he’ll listen intently, but otherwise he won’t press you to talk.

— kazuha —

I think kazuha is a big picnic kinda guy. He asks you all the time if you wanna sit by the river and have lunch, or go stargazing and share some pie (or any other desert of your choosing). So I don’t think there’s many opportunities for him to notice that you’re uncomfortable eating around others.

When there are said moments though he’ll pic up on it. He’s very good at reading body language, and will get you out of an uncomfortable situation as fast as possible.

He’ll ponder what to say afterwards, but will eventually come to the conclusion that he should ask you about it. His own curiosity got the best of him, and I think right after he asks you about your behavior earlier he feels bad. Like it was… insensitive of him to ask you.

If you wanna talk about it, great! He’s your personal therapist for about 40 minutes. If you don’t wanna explain though? Ok, I mean he’s not gonna push you to be uncomfortable again, but the gears in his head will be turning a lot.

— childe —

I don’t think childe is great at reading body language like kazuha is, but he is good at finding out things after they’ve already happened.

You’ll ask him if you can eat at one another’s home from now on, and he’ll kinda be pushy about why you’re asking this.

He’ll feel bad for being pushy after you tell him though. He’ll apologize, and be oddly quiet for a while, but mostly cause he’s thinking of a bunch of dishes to make for you!

— thoma —

👏not👏a👏problem 👏

You guys have your own section at the tea house!

I think thoma figured out early on about your habit, and changed accordingly.

He’ll make sure no one bothers you while you’re eating. He’ll go to most any lengths to make sure you’re comfortable.

Won’t ask you why you’re uncomfortable eating around others. It doesn’t really matter why in his opinion, what matters is that you’re uncomfortable, and he needs to fix that!

#genshin impact #genshin x reader #genshin x gender neutral reader #genshin fluff #genshin imagines #genshin diluc #genshin zhongli #genshin kazuha #genshin childe #genshin thoma #diluc x reader #zhongli x reader #kazuha x reader #childe x reader #thoma x reader #diluc fluff #kazuha fluff #zhongli fluff #childe fluff #thoma fluff #diluc headcanons #kazuha headcanons #zhongli headcanons #childe headcanons #thoma headcanons #Diluc #kazuha #zhongli #childe #thoma

[randomshyperson]

Sorry for your loss - “I will move on” #04

Read on AO3 || Serie Masterlist here

Summary: When your wife Natasha passes away in a car accident, a part of you dies with her. It takes a few months of mourning for your psychiatrist thinks the best alternative is for you to join a grief group. And there you meet Wanda Maximoff, and learn to live again.

Warnings: (+16) mentions of death, panic attacks and anxiety, grief, self sabotage, mentions of abusive family background, mutual attraction pining, explicit consent, therapeutic conversations about death, self-deprecation, healthy methods of coping with grief, possible triggers about anxiety, domestic Wanda, hurtful behaviors.

​ Tag list: @imapotatao / @aimezvousbrahms/ @ensorcellme/ @helloalycia / @mionemymind / @abimess / @stephanieromanoff / @yourtaletotell / @tomy5girls / @justagaypanicking / @thegayw1tch / @idek-5

//-////-////-////-////-////-////-////-////-//

Chapter Four - I will move on

"And I guess that's about it." You say as you finish telling Agatha about your last few weeks. She smiles as she shakes her head.

"I have to say I am proud of you." She comments gesturing briefly with her hands. "Are you sure you don't want to add anything else?"

You shrug, unable to remember anything relevant that you haven't mentioned.

You told her about writing again, about trying to drive again. About helping Wanda to stay home without having panic attacks, and to go back to work. You had only managed to drive in the supermarket parking lot, but it was still progress, and Stephen was very happy to hear it about too. The only thing missing to get your life back to normal was your apartment. And you had already arranged with Wanda to visit later that week.

"I have two questions for you then." Agatha says when you confirm that you have nothing to add. "Don't you think it's time to try to reconnect with your friends?"

You hesitate, thoughtfully. 

"I don't know." You said slightly uncomfortable. "My friends weren't just mine. They were Nat's friends too. And then she died, and I isolated myself. And well, I guess they were in their own grief too, because none of them tried to look for me anymore."

"You took your time to heal." She says. "Maybe they took theirs too. And now might be the time to reconnect."

You sigh, looking away.

"Yeah, I'll think about it." You speak. You look back at Agatha a moment later. "What was the other question?"

Agatha hides a small smile.

"A sensitive topic for patients who lose their beloved lovers." She says and you frown in confusion. "Well, dear, I need to ask if you are trying to date again?"

You gasp in surprise, feeling your face heat up.

"W-what?"

Agatha lets out a giggle.

"I know this may seem insensitive at first, and that's more because of the sexist socioeconomic construct that treats widowed women as violated property that must belong to their lover for the rest of their lives than anything else but I need you to understand that it's perfectly natural to move on." She narrates and you just stand there with a shocked expression and your heart racing. "You are a single woman now, and you have sexual and emotional human needs. I'm going to help you work through any kind of guilt, because judging your progress, you seem ready to be in a relationship again."

"I...I don't..."

"Don't worry, honey." Agatha interrupts with a giggle. "I'm not telling you to go around fornicating." She jokes. "Not that there's anything wrong with that, of course. But I don't think it's really your style at all."

You feel your face heat up, frowning at Agatha, but she continues to speak.

"Anyway, I'm saying that it will be good if you get back into romantic relationships with other people. Casual encounters, that sort of thing. You are allowed to love someone again, there's nothing wrong with that." She explains getting up toward her own desk, and then gives a mischievous little smile in your direction. "Not to mention that orgasms are great stress relievers."

You choke in surprise, but Agatha just smiles, turning to write the appointment report.

Your face is still very red when you leave her office.

//-//

"I'm going to make a gardener out of you yet, huh?" Monica joked as you finished composting, making you laugh lightly.

"Well, I had a good teacher." You joked back as you stood up.

You were at Wanda's flower shop again. It became routine for you to help Monica with the garden and the flowers. And as the days went by, you got used to being in the greenhouses while she was attending to customers and Wanda was working in the office. It took two weeks for Monica to start joking that you had become a staff member at the flower shop. You don't really mind helping out. Botany has turned out to be something surprisingly relaxing for you. The hours of Wanda's shift passed by quickly when you keep your hands busy with the plants and flowers, your anxiety long forgotten.

"Are you hungry?" Monica asks as soon as you return to the store's front desk, and she pulls out the " break" sign tucked under the counter. 

"Sure."

"Let's take a lunch break. See if Wanda wants to join us while I attend that boy." Monica says looking forward toward the window display. There is a boy clearly unsure about whether or not to enter the store and you exchange a chuckle with her before heading towards Wanda's office.

She is on the phone when she answers the door for you, and signals with her finger in her mouth for you not to say anything as she makes room for you to enter. As she mumbles in agreement on the call, you look around. She seems to be working on the organization of some big event judging by the whiteboard in the corner filled with notes, and you figure it's a party or some wedding, because you and Monica have been growing more flowers for this kind of thing lately.

"That sounds pretty good, actually." You listen to her speak as she jots down a few things in an agenda. " Don't worry, we have enough for the engagement party and the ceremony." 

The shelf on the side in front of the whiteboard catches your attention, and you walk over to the furniture next.

Wanda moves a little behind you, adding some stickers to the whiteboard. You keep looking at the bookshelf, distracted by the objects on it. There is a picture of the twins that makes you smile, some books, and other small pots of plants. You lightly caress the bonsai before looking down.

You run your fingers over the red flower on Wanda's bookshelf, trying to remember the name. Monica has taught you many things, but you don't know many as well.

"Anthurium" Wanda whispers behind you, as she turns off her cell phone and realizes that you are looking at the flower with curiosity. You murmur in understanding, turning to make comment that it is very beautiful, but your speech dies in your throat when you realize how close Wanda is. "What did you want?" She asks curiously and you are almost leaning your body against the bookshelf, trying to think clearly.

"I-I came to ask if you want to have lunch with us." You say while mentally telling yourself not to look at Wanda's lips.

Wanda murmurs in understanding, and you can barely breathe when she stands even closer, her hand outstretched to something above your head. She pulls out a small stick caught in your hair, and all you can do is stare at her with a racing heart as she bites back a smile, and tosses the stick into one of the vases on the shelf behind you.

"I'd like to join you, but I'm busy." She says and her gaze falls to your lips for a second before she turns her head away and walks off. You let out a breath, wiping your sweaty hands on your pants as Wanda walks toward the table in search of the notepad and pen she was using before hanging up her cell phone. "Can you please bring me something to eat? I'm starving. I just don't know exactly what I want..."

You smile as you see Wanda's thoughtful expression with pen and notebook in hand. You approach, putting the notebook down with your hand gently.

"Don't worry, I know what you like." You say simply, and Wanda blinks in surprise, smiling awkwardly. "I'll stop by that confectionery shop you like and also bring you a dessert, okay? You look stressed."

Wanda laughs lightly, her cheeks flushed. 

"Thanks, love."

The nickname slips so naturally from her lips that it takes a moment for both of you to realize what has just been said. Your gaze falls to Wanda's mouth the same minute that her pupils dilate. You are almost breaking the distance when Monica opens the door, not noticing the closeness of the two of you because she has her gaze on a piece of paper in her own hands.

You and Wanda immediately turn away, embarrassed.

"We have a big order, girls." She announces excitedly, raising her eyes to you. Monica frowns slightly at the guilty expressions and reddened faces. "Sorry, did I interrupt something?"

"No." You answer in unison quickly, surprising Monica again, who acquires an expression of suspicion and humor. You clear your throat and Wanda lets out a short laugh.

"We were just talking about lunch." You say. "And well, Wanda has a big order too. I guess you guys will need my help then."

Wanda turns to you again with this statement.

"What? No, I can't make you work for me..."

You interrupt with a laugh.

"Wanda, don't even start." You say. "I love staying here. And I'm happy to help, really. Don't worry about it."

"You sure make my shifts more fun." Adds Monica with a smile, making you laugh. Wanda looks at you intently.

"Are you sure?" She asks, and you smile as you nod in agreement. "We'll talk about it later. You can't work for free, and if you're going to help you need a schedule, and breaks and chores."

You laugh, nodding.

"Yes, boss." You murmur playfully and Wanda pats your arm, making you and Monica laugh. 

"Let's get our lunch now, I'm starving." Monica orders as she turns to walk out the door. You murmur in agreement, and quickly kiss Wanda on the cheek before following the other woman. Wanda has a foolish smile on her face until you return with her lunch many minutes later.

//-//

You call Carol Danvers the day before you return to your apartment.

Things go much better than you expected, but it's not surprising, because you usually expect the worst case scenario. 

Carol is very happy to hear from you, and you are happy to know that she doesn't hate you for not calling before. You talk for a few minutes, but she can't talk much on the phone because her shift is about to start. You are surprised to learn that she is working in a nightclub downtown now, unlike months ago when she worked in a rock bar in Queens. 

 She tells you that Bruce was traveling because of his internship, but that he would be in town for the weekend, and invites you to visit her at work. You hesitate because you are not sure if you are ready to go to a club, but you accept as you think of Agatha's words about reconnecting with your friends again.

You are the one who drives to your apartment the next day, after you and Wanda leave the flower shop. Your heart is racing the whole time, but Wanda rests her hand on your thigh to calm you down, and as the minutes go by, you can no longer tell whether you are nervous about the trauma or something else.

Parking in the small condo cluster, you take a deep breath. Wanda gives your thigh one last squeeze before she pulls her hand away and gets out of the car, completely oblivious to the way your entire body trembles at her touch. Shaking your head slightly to push that kind of thought away, you step out of the car.

Your hands are shaking wildly as you take your keys out of your pockets, just as you reach the second floor, after you have politely waved to the people who recognized you on the way to your apartment. 

"Hey, breathe." Wanda asks softly beside you. And you take a deep breath, and it helps. And then you turn the key, and go inside.

It is exactly the same as the last time you were here, many months ago, on the day of the accident.

Your mother cleaned it up, of course, but it is still the same. Everything is in the exact same place, even the shoes that Nat left lying in the corner of the bookshelf. And you felt your chest tighten when the flashes of memory began.

You walked around, looking at the surroundings while Wanda followed you. A few tears streamed down your face, but you said nothing.

You were in the kitchen when the first sob escaped your throat. Leaning your hands on the counter, you dropped your keys and tried to push away the memories that were clear in your head.

It was as if you could feel Nat in the room. Seeing her in the armchair, laughing at your jokes, or being a disaster in the kitchen on nights when you tried to eat something homemade. Her books mixed in with yours on the bookshelf, your wedding and graduation pictures on the mantelpiece. 

You moved away from the counter quickly, however, as Wanda looked at you intently, unsure whether to approach or not. Walking down the hallway, you stopped in front of your bedroom door. 

And you stood there. Long minutes staring at the wood. Unable to move.

Feeling arms around your waist, you sighed, your body relaxing considerably.

Wanda hugged you from behind, and waited. You were crying again, and you only stopped after a while. Taking a deep breath, and lightly stroking Wanda's hand to ask her to let go, you waited for her to let go of you to open the door.

Wanda waited for you outside. You just walked around the room, your face wet as you breathed with difficulty, your arms crossed as if you were afraid to touch anything.

When you came out, you took a deep breath once more. And then you said you needed to call your mother.

That's how you spent the rest of the day packing up your apartment together with Wanda, your mother, and Pietro and Monica, who came to help after Wanda said you needed more people.

You came back the other day too, until the only things left were larger pieces of furniture.

"Are you sure you're going to sell?" Your mother asked you in the parking lot as soon as you left there in the late afternoon. Wanda had just gone home with her brother and sister-in-law.

"That was her apartment, Mom." You say as you put the boxes in the trunk. "I could never live here without Natasha."

"It's a good property." She comments, making you chuckle lightly.

"I'm sure the next owners will love it."

"I don't mean to be disrespectful, dear. It's just a nice apartment, not the kind of thing you get every day and..."

"Are you wanting to keep it by any chance?" You interrupt, irritated at your mother's lack of sensitivity. She sighs, and you frown.

"No. But maybe someone else wants to."

It takes a moment for you to understand what she is implying.

"You know Nat didn't talk to her family."

Your mother looks away.

"Actually..." She begins and you close the trunk with a confused expression, "I've been seeing Melina since January."

You blink in surprise, and then let out a dry laugh.

"I am speechless." You say in shock. "You...are you serious? Wow, I...wow."

You lean back against the car, impressed and annoyed. Your mother sighs guiltily, stepping in front of you again.

"Look, I know I should have had something, but you were so..."

"Sad? Yeah mom, my wife died, I had a right to be."

"That's not what I meant."

You sighed, rolling your eyes.

"Yeah, I know." You grumble. "But it sucks that you kept it from me. What the hell does Melina want anyway?"

Your mother looks away for a moment.

"She wanted to see you actually." She says and you let out a wry laugh. "I know how ridiculous it sounds, but her daughter died and you were the only remaining connection to Natasha."

You push your fingers against your forehead lightly, thinking you are starting to get a migraine from this conversation. 

"You know what, Mom?" You say. "Since you two have become such good friends lately, tell her that her chance to connect with me was lost the moment she didn't attend the funeral." 

Your mother sighs, but you are already turning to get into the car. She follows you a moment later, sitting in the passenger seat.

You drive in silence back home.

//-//

Over the weekend, you almost canceled your plans with Carol.

Your mother was giving you the silent treatment for the way you refused to talk about Natasha and Melina, and you were very irritated by the whole situation.

Grumbling about how ridiculous it all was, you agreed to have coffee with the two women the following week, and your mother's mood changed considerably, the complete opposite of what happened to you.

But you forced yourself to smile, and got up from the couch to get ready.

Around seven-thirty at night, you arrived at the place, which was already very busy, neon lights peeking through the windows along with the loud music. 

"My goodness, look at you!" Greeted Carol cheerfully as soon as you met her at the counter. She turned around to hug you tight, and you felt your chest swell with happiness. You had missed your friend so much.

"You got a haircut" You comment in the same excitement, smiling at her. "I missed you, Danvers."

She smiles, mumbling that she missed you too. She asked you to sit on one of the stools at the front of the bar, and you did so while she went back behind the counter.

You updated each other a bit as she served some customers, and a while later, Bruce arrived.

"Banner I can't believe you are wearing a suit in a nightclub." Carol teased as she greeted her friend, making you chuckle slightly as Bruce explained that he didn't have time to look more casual.

"It's good to see you." He said to you as he hugged you, you repeated the words, then sat at the bar.

A few drinks and laughs later, Carol's shift ended, and she sat at a table with you two.

Between telling your friends about your progress in therapy, and hearing how Carol had left her previous job after punching a slacker client in the face, and learning that Bruce was working as an aspiring scientist, and lecturing around the country, the three of you had enough beers for the direction of the conversation to make your cheeks flush.

"I swear to you, she was the most beautiful woman I have ever seen!" Carol told you, making you and Bruce laugh at her excitement. 

"Now you're going to say that the next second you saw the next most beautiful woman in the world?" You teased wryly, and Carol laughed as she told you to shut up. "Are you even dating this Gamora girl?"

Carol hid a smirk, taking a sip of her beer.

"Actually." She began. "We're living together."

You widened your eyes in surprise, and then laughed.

"My god, Carol Danvers in love!" You teased making her laugh as she flashed you her middle finger. "No, but seriously, that's amazing! I'm happy for you, Carol."

"Yes, yes." She says smiling, "But what about you? I know you and Nat were like, madly in love or whatever cheesy stuff you put in your books, but it's been months. It would be nice if you met someone new."

The topic is quite sensitive, and the mood at the table changes because of it. But you are far more embarrassed than upset, and you lower your gaze to your bottle before answering.

" Oh, well, i..." You begin half-heartedly. Your stomach does a flip-flop, because you are thinking of a person. "There is someone, I think. But I don't know if we're both ready to take that on yet."

Carol makes an agreeing noise with her mouth, and then has an insinuating little smile on her face.

"Do you still remember how to be with a girl, champ?" your friend teases, and you nudge her shoulder shyly as she and Bruce laugh.

"Aren't those things like riding a bike?" The other man asked timidly, getting a wry look from Carol.

"You know, Bruce, your innocence is admirable." Carol teases making you laugh. 

"Don't be mean." You say poking her lightly in the ribs, but Bruce doesn't really care. It's been that way since college when he told you guys he was asexual. The whole thing was funny because Carol has always been very, very sexual. And they have been teasing each other about it for years.

"Ah but I won't be, I promise." She assures. "Actually, I'm much more interested in hearing about your new girlfriend."

You laugh shyly, drinking some of your beer.

"I don't have a girlfriend."

Carol laughed, her gaze running around the room before returning to you. 

"Well, that blonde girl has been looking over here for a few moments. I have a girlfriend, and Bruce doesn't like sex. I guess you're the one who's going to have to talk to her."

You widened your eyes at your friend's words, looking forward quickly.

A blond woman was indeed staring at your table.

"I don't think that's a good idea." You mumble clumsily, and Carol gives a little laugh.

"That's too bad, because now that you've looked, she's going to come here." Your friend warns, and you choke on your beer when you see the girl actually getting up from the countertop.

"Carol, help me." You awkwardly whisper but your friend just laughs, and then the stranger catches up with you all.

"Hi." She greets sensually, looking up at you. You swallow dryly as your friend holds back a giggle. "Would you like to dance?"

"I-I..."

"Use your words." Carol teased lowly next to you, making the girl laugh at your clumsiness. 

"Don't be shy, I don't bite." The girl added maliciously. " Unless you ask me to."

You feel your face heat up with embarrassment, and you spread your mouth open, not knowing what to say next. Carol murmurs impressed.

"Sorry, sweetie, she used to function better than that." Carol interrupts the interaction, taking pity on your distress. "I think she's taken. But if it's just a dance, we can all enjoy it together."

The girl bites her lips, seeming to consider. She takes one last look at you, and then accepts the invitation.

This is how you end up on a dance floor, trying to escape the hands of a stranger. 

You remember how to dance, and the drink helps a lot. But there are hands running over your body before the woman turns around and starts rubbing against you in rhythm with the music. You feel your breath catch, the excitement of having so much intimate contact after so long reaching you completely.

"Are you sure you're taken?" She whispers against your ear, and you give a short laugh, feeling your head spin.

"Yes."  You half-heartedly assure her, using all the rest of your drunken control to push her hands away from you. 

The woman didn't mind, stealing a short kiss on your cheek before dancing away, swaying her hips.

Carol threw her arms around you next.

"Wow, you really are in love!" She enthusiastically shouts to be heard between the beats of the music. You laugh with flushed cheeks, saying you need to take some air.

Your friend continues to dance, pulling Bruce close, and the man laughs awkwardly as he puts his arms around the blonde. You chuckle at the scene before turning to go outdoors.

It is easier to breathe outside. 

Your first action is to take your cell phone out of your pocket, and check your notifications. Your heart melts when you open a message from Wanda. It is a picture of her and the boys, lying together between a comforter. The caption reads "movie night, doesn't even look like they were jumping on the couch two minutes ago".

You stare at the picture for a few seconds after sending a heart emoji to Wanda. And then you gasp softly, realizing. You really are in love with her. Like in romance movies, and fairy tale books. But also like the real thing. Because you love Wanda's company, her sharp jokes, the way she talks and behaves and cares for everyone. You don't want to be in a bar, or meet another girl. You want to be wrapped in a comforter with Wanda and the kids.

Trying not to panic at this conclusion, you put your cell phone back in your pocket, deciding to go back inside to say goodbye to your friends.

//-//

You are trying to find a way to tell Wanda how you feel. The problem is that you are insecure, because you have no idea if she is ready for a relationship again. You don't even know if she likes women.

With so much suffering in the past months, you also don't want to face a broken heart. So you decide to wait and see how things will turn out.

It is something about the way your life is completely intertwined in Wanda's now, in the same way that she has wrapped herself around your heart that makes you sigh when you think about it everything.

You are distracted while you work, and Monica smiles because you have a smirk while tinkering in the gardens, which is clearly not related to the plants. She doesn't say anything, because it's the same way Wanda smiles when you bring her coffee, or when you two come back from lunch. She can only be excited to think how it will be to organize your wedding.

It is at lunch after group therapy that Wanda invites you to her father's wedding anniversary party. You hadn't met him yet, and a party was a good thing, because you wouldn't have all his attention on you, and it lessens your anxiety considerably.

The party will be at Wanda's father's country house, and you will be able to cross the "take a trip" goal off your therapy to-do list.

In the meantime, you prepare to see Natasha's mother.

It is a Thursday, and you set aside your lunch period for this, because you really don't want this meeting to last more than an hour.

Your mother and Melina are already in the restaurant when you arrive, and you nod politely to the woman when you sit down at the table, signaling that she doesn't need to get up.

"So, what did you want?" you ask snidely, earning a scolding from your mother. Melina doesn't seem to mind your aggressiveness however.

"Let's order something to eat first please." Your mother says before the other woman can respond. You roll your eyes, not disagreeing.

After the waitress takes your orders and leaves, you cross your arms impatiently.

"Look, I know it's hard for you to hear from me after all this time..." The woman begins.

"Hard for me?" You cut her off with irony. "No, Melina. I was not the daughter you abandoned. It was just hard for Nat not to have you around. I simply don't like you myself."

"Honey" Your mother warns, but you let out a dry laugh.

"No, really." You continue firmly. "What do you really want with me?"

Melina sighs, straightening herself in her chair.

"Your mother told me that you intend to sell Natasha's apartment." She says. "I don't approve of such a decision."

You stare at her for a moment, and then let out a laugh.

"I should have known you'd only show up for the money." You say feeling your stomach turn with anger. Melina rolls her eyes, but doesn't deny it. Your mother looks surprised that you are right.

"I gave that apartment to Natasha..."

" I beg your pardon?" you interrupt angrily, your loud tone attracting the attention of the next table. "You gave her the apartment? Are you listening to yourself now?"

"We don't need to get carried away." She asked with irritation in her eyes, drawing a nasal laugh of indignation from you. "You know I'm right."

"No, Melina." You retort seriously, lowering your tone. "Clarify for me how you can possibly think that putting an apartment full of debt in your daughter's name to escape the state, making her work two shifts to pay for everything, sets up like giving an apartment to someone?"

"You are manipulating the facts." She hits back and you nod in disbelief, closing your eyes momentarily. "I had financial problems, and Nat didn't object when I suggested..."

"She was 15." You cut in. "You forgot that little detail right? You also forgot about going to the guardianship board to emancipate your 15 year old daughter just so she could take on a debt of yours?" You asked angrily. "Oh, did you forget about Nat working in a diner throughout her teenage years to pay for everything?"

Melina clenched her jaw, glaring at you angrily. You really weren't in the least bit of patience for this conversation, and it was a good thing the waitress arrived with your orders, because you were about to turn the table.

"I am not hungry anymore." You grumble as soon as the waitress leaves and you look down at your food, your stomach turning. Then you look forward. "When I sell the apartment, I will talk to your lawyer and if you are entitled to anything, you can rest assured that it will come in the mail. Now do me a favor, and never look for me again." 

After saying these words to Melina, you exchange a quick glance with your mother and get up, walking to the exit.

//-//

You are pretty upset about the whole Melina thing, but your mood improves almost immediately when Wanda invites you to visit her. 

Actually, she needs help with the kids, because she's busy with a rich lady's wedding that required priority on the flower project, and the summer vacation started that week.

Monica was helping Wanda with the whole design, so you and Pietro would take care of the kids.

It was quite fun to do it, because you loved children. Pietro even had the bright idea of setting up a little lemonade stand outside Wanda's house, and while the other women were working, you and he took the kids outdoors.

"Don't you think a million dollars is a lot of money for a glass of lemonade, Billy?" you ask the boy as you watch him put several zeros on the price cardboard. Pietro laughs as he helps his daughter pin up her hair.

"I don't know." The kid tells you without stopping drawing. "I'm a kid, I've never paid anything."

You laugh, looking forward. You and Pietro are sitting on chairs placed on the grass while the children play around the lemonade stand. 

When some of the neighbors buy the lemonade, you tell Billy that a gold coin is worth a million, and he doesn't argue.

The temperature rises considerably throughout the day, and around two in the afternoon you and Pietro decide that it would be good to take the kids swimming.

"Call the wives please." Pietro says to you as you stand in the living room after you two walk back in and put everything away, and he is helping the children put on bathing suits. You feel your face heat up at the innocent insinuation of Wanda being your wife, but you say nothing and he doesn't even seem to notice.

You knock on the door, then enter the office, and smile at the two women inside, who seemed to be concentrating on their own papers.

"Let's go for a quick swim girls?" You ask, ignoring the way your stomach gets butterflies when Wanda looks up at you. 

Monica lets out an excited exclamation.

"Yes, please!" She says. "This room feels like an oven!"

You and Wanda laugh, and you make room for Monica to walk past you. 

"Any chance you have a bathing suit in my size?" You ask Wanda next, and she bites back a smile, thoughtful.

"Let 's find out."

//-//

It is only upstairs that you realize that you have never been in Wanda's bedroom before.

All the times you have been here, you were reserved for the living room, the kitchen and the office. Except for the times you were in the twins' bedroom, and well, when you used the bathroom.

You stood still a bit past the entrance, not knowing exactly what to do with your hands as Wanda searched the closets for a bathing suit for you.

"You know you can look around right?" Wanda commented with playfulness in her speech, making you chuckle shyly.

Stepping forward, you twiddled your fingers together nervously as you looked around. You smiled at the decorations, and especially at the pictures on the dresser. 

"Damn, I think I only have one pair." Wanda grumbled as she closed the closet, turning to you next, a swimsuit in her hands. "Do you want to wear it?"

You smiled wryly.

"Not if it's the only one you have." You say. "Don't worry, I'll keep my T-shirt on."

"Don't be silly, it's really hot outside. I'll lend you a bra." 

Wanda leaves her swimsuit on the bed and walks over to the dresser behind you. You step aside to give her room to open the drawers.

You look quickly away from the underwear drawer, feeling your heart race at the intimacy of this moment. It only gets worse when Wanda hands you a black sports top, which she is glad to have found.

"Thank you, Wands." You mutter as you accept the garment. 

You widen your eyes as Wanda begins to unbutton the shirt she is wearing, but before you have a heart attack, she flashes you a small smile and picks up the swimsuit from the bed, turning toward the bathroom as she uses her free hand to keep the shirt closed.

You take advantage of Wanda's exit to quickly take your shirt off, put on the top and then the T-shirt over it.

A moment later she returns, and your breath catches in your throat.

"This swimsuit has a tie in the back, can you help me with that?" Wanda asks distractedly as she tucks her hair into a bun. You swallow dryly, trying to keep your gaze off her exposed legs. 

Wanda stands facing the dresser, watching you approach through the mirror. You ignore your uncompensated heartbeat as you stare back at her, and let out a shy smile as you lower your gaze when you notice her flushed cheeks as you stand right behind her.

Raising your fingers to the height of her back, you gently touch the skin exposed by the opening of her swimsuit. The contact makes every inch of the woman's skin shiver in front of you, and she sighs softly, the sound making your stomach turn.

You risk looking forward again, at your reflection, only to find Wanda's mouth ajar, her eyes dark. You risk dragging your fingers further inside the fabric, making her choke lightly.

Completely mesmerized by the way Wanda's body responds to your touch, you raise your other hand, trailing a finger up from the length of her coccyx to the opening of her swimsuit, watching Wanda close her fists as her cheeks redden.

You can hear the sounds of her uncompensated breathing, but you can also hear the muffled laughter from the distance downstairs, and that motivates you enough to ignore the trembling of your fingers as you zip up Wanda's swimsuit.

"W-we should go downstairs." You whisper in a hoarse voice, ignoring the urge to rip off Wanda's swimsuit. 

The redhead swallows dryly before slowly turning toward you. Your faces are so close that you can feel her breath on your cheek.

"I..."

"Mommy why are you taking so long?" Billy's muffled scream coming from the backyard through the window makes you and Wanda jump in fright. 

Pietro and Tommy repeat the same sentence next, and you clear your throat, taking a step back. Wanda can't keep her gaze on you as you both walk down to the pool outside.

You can only distract yourself from the feel of Wanda's skin on your fingers because you play in the pool with everyone, and these thoughts are pushed to the back of your mind for the rest of the afternoon.

It is only when you have to leave, after the children have had a bath, and are dressed in comfortable clothes in front of the television, and you have hugged Monica and Pietro goodbye that these thoughts come flooding back when you have to repeat the gesture with Wanda.

You disguise yourself, smiling politely at the couple standing behind the redhead as you let your arms circle her waist as you hug her. Resisting the urge to close your eyes and sink your face into Wanda's neck, who has her hands on your shoulders, you hold back a sigh as you pull away.

"See you on Monday." You murmur in a husky voice, and the redhead nods, her gaze falling quickly to your lips.

You think you'd better get in the car before you lose control of your body.

//-//

Startled slightly, you opened your eyes with difficulty. Someone was calling you, but it must have been very late, because you couldn't see anything in the room but the blinking light on your dresser.

Grumbling, you stretched your arm out to reach for your vibrating cell phone and answer the call.

"Hello?" you asked in a voice hoarse from sleep, closing your eyes again.

"Hey, sorry to wake you." It was Wanda, and her whiny voice made you open your eyes quickly, worried. 

"Wanda? Did something happen?"

"Yeah." She agrees, sniffling softly. "I just... I'm so sad. The whole fucking time. Then Tony came over and started saying these things and now I'm crying and I can't stop. I'm sorry, it's not your problem, I shouldn't have called and..."

"I'm coming."

You think Wanda tried to say something to stop you, but you ended the call as you stood up.

"Where are you going?" Your mother asked as soon as you came downstairs, and you were startled to find her awake, but you didn't ask as you noticed the laptop in your lap.

"Wanda." You mumble simply, looking for your keys.

"Kitchen countertop." She informed and you muttered a thank you as you picked up the item from the mentioned spot. "You know, if you're going to start leaving the house at dawn to see her, it might be best to move in with her."

You chuckled awkwardly at the comment as you put on your shoes.

"Try to get some sleep, work will still be there in the morning." You tell her to change the subject, and your mother sighs, turning her attention back to the screen. "You don't have to wait up for me."

"Oh, I figured." She teases last making you roll your eyes in embarrassment before opening the door to leave.

//-//

You didn't have to knock on the door, because as soon as you parked the car and got out, you had a view of the outside garden porch, and you could see Wanda sitting on the rocking bench, looking at the ground.

You sighed, opening the garden gate to enter the backyard.

Making a noise with your feet so as not to startle her, you felt your heart squeeze as she wiped her tears away quickly, turning her head to the side. You sighed, taking a seat on the bench in front of her, rocking it slightly.

"Do you want to talk about it?" You asked a moment later, and from the redhead's silence, you figured not. But she nodded next, looking down at her own feet. "Tell me what happened then."

It takes a moment, but Wanda speaks. She tells how Tony Stark showed up at her door at three in the morning, saying that he blamed himself for his brother death but that this was a good thing now because it was exactly what he needed to change his life and stop drinking, and that she punched him in the nose, saying that this was always his problem, everything was always about him. Tony promised that he would be someone decent now, that he was going to change, and Wanda just pushed him away, telling him to go change somewhere else.

"I feel like the worst person in the world right now." She grumbles as soon as she finishes narrating. 

"Why?"

"Tony has been an alcoholic since he was fifteen, and he's finally getting better. I think he was in need of someone to help him."

You shook your head, letting out a short laugh.

"And why is that your problem?" you retorted, surprising her. "Wanda you are under no obligation to suppress your feelings to make others feel better. You have every right to feel angry with Tony. And to not want him in your life again."

Wanda takes a deep breath, burying her face in her hands for a moment, as if trying to believe your words.

You bit the inside of your cheek, deciding whether to speak what you wanted to.

"Wands?" You called after her, and she looked at you. "You said you were sad. Do you want to talk about that too?"

The redhead looks away from you, a weak smile on her lips. 

"I don't know how to talk about it really." She starts by looking down at her feet. "I never did."

You wait, stretching your leg out and lightly tapping your feet together with her on the floor. Wanda smiles at the movement, and then bites her lips.

"I think it started when I was a kid." She counters thoughtfully, her gaze straying to the yard around her. "Ever since mama died, or maybe before. There's this sadness, stuck in my chest. And no matter what I do, it won't go away." 

You listen intently, waiting for Wanda to finish.

"When I was younger, Papa worked all day and Mama took care of me and Pietro. But she got sick, and granny came to live with us to help. I was ten when she died, and Pietro's anxiety got worse." She swallows dryly, as if the memories are choking her. "Granny didn't know how to help my brother, so I took care of him myself. And when we were in high school, she got sick too. And well, Dad didn't know what to do really, so I took care of her at home while he and Pietro worked to pay for the medications." She adds, and sniffles lightly. "I just remember being tired. All the damn time. I'd go to school, and come home, and I'd eat, and play, and watch TV, but I wasn't really there. I started to think that's how everybody else felt, because I had a normal life, and I had no reason to feel sad."

You frown slightly, but bite your tongue to keep from interrupting.

"Grandma died just before I graduated, and I barely had time to miss her, busy with college applications, and taking care of the funeral at the same time." She counters with a wry laugh, as if realizing how unfair it was that she was left to take care of everything by herself. "And then I met Vis, and he was sweet and kind and he was everything anyone could want. The perfect boyfriend, perfect friend, and brother and husband. So I choked down that sadness, because it wasn't fair that I was with someone so amazing, and I wasn't satisfied." She recounts as she lets the tears flow. "When the twins came, everyone told me that my life was complete. That children were exactly what everyone wanted, and that I had the perfect life. So I kept that image."

Wanda raises her hand to wipe away a tear that ran down her cheek, but others kept falling next.

 "With Vis's death, everything started to fall apart on me." She says after a pause, biting her lips slightly to hold back the crying. She lets out a nasal laugh next. "But I wasn't going to let that happen, so I gathered the pieces together. I put a smile on my face and continued to be the mother my children needed. And then I met you."

You frown in confusion, but Wanda does not look at you. She runs her hands through her hair, shaking her head slightly.

"You came into my life at its worst possible moment. And all you did was make me feel better again." Wanda declared with a sigh, and you felt your cheeks heat up, looking away to your feet. "You don't expect me to be happy, or polite, or sociable. You don't care that I get cranky and irritable, that I wanted to skip work or eat junk food." She counters, wiping a tear from her cheek. "I feel like I can breathe again, because when you look at me you don't judge me like everyone else. You just listen, and observe. And take care of me."

You sigh, impacted by the intensity of the confessions. You think that if you keep quiet long enough, Wanda can hear your heart beating fast.

The redhead takes a deep breath, twisting her fingers slightly before speaking again.

"That's why I called." She counters in a sigh. Her eyes fill with tears again, but she doesn't let them fall. "You've been the only person who makes me feel this way. And when Tony came along I felt I was drowning into those terrible thoughts again. I needed you to pull me back up."

You raise your head to Wanda, but she is looking down at the floor, her cheeks flushed. You smile, rising to sit beside her.

"I will." You whisper as you interlace your fingers, looking forward. Wanda stares at your entwined hands before leaning her head on your shoulder.

"Thank you." She murmurs a moment later. 

"Don't mention it." You reply in the same tone.

You stand like this for many minutes, Wanda wiggling your fingers together. You are about to close your eyes when a childish voice startles you a little.

"Mommy?" it's Billy, dressed in adorable teddy bear pajamas, scratching his eyes sleepily. "Why are you out here?"

Wanda looks at him in surprise. 

"Come here dear." Wanda asks signaling with her free hand for Billy to approach. The boy yawns, walking over to you two. You mess up his hair as Wanda releases her hand to sit her son on her own lap.

"Why are you here, Y/N?" The boy asks sleepily, making you and Wanda smile at how cute he looks. 

"I am a friend of your mother's, Billy, I come whenever she needs me." You reply with a smile, trying not to be affected by the way Wanda looks at you.

"You should come more often, y/n. Mom is happy when you are around." Billy declares causing Wanda to let out a surprised exclamation, and you feel your heart race.

"Oh, really?" You tease with a little smile, and Wanda pushes her shoulder against yours lightly. "I promise I'll visit more often then."

"You can live here!" Billy exclaims excitedly next, making you laugh in surprise. 

"Don't be silly, Billy." Wanda adds embarrassed. "We don't have a room."

"She can sleep with you mommy." Billy retorts as if it's obvious, "Daddy's not here anymore, and your bed is too big, because it fits Tommy and me together!"

You swallow dryly, surprised and embarrassed at the way Billy is casual above all, but mostly worried that this comparison might have hurt Wanda. But she lets out a little laugh, shaking her head.

"It's time for bed, enough of this talk" Wanda warns the boy next, getting up with him on her lap.

You accompany the two of them into the house, waiting until Wanda comes downstairs after putting Billy to bed.

Billy's words in your head were still echoing when Wanda suggested that you sleep in her bed after she came downstairs, and part of you wanted to, but you figured that night wasn't the best time. So you slept on the couch, and left after breakfast, ignoring how warm your chest felt at the image of the table with Wanda and the twins having coffee.

//-//

Your first stop after leaving Wanda's house was the cemetery.

Taking a deep breath, you stared at the memorial stone in the ground. The small photograph of Natasha carved into the stone. 

"I miss you, pchelka" You whispered softly, leaving your hands in your pockets as you looked down. Your chest hurt less than the first time you came here, but the pain was still there. You imagined that it always would be. "I won't ever stop. But I want to live again. I hope you won’t be mad at me, from wherever you are, and understand that."

Part of you knew that Natasha would be happy for you. It was one of the reasons you loved her so much.

Kneeling down, you pulled out of your pocket the items you had left in the car's glove box a few days ago, planning to do this since the day of the bar.

" This belongs to you." You whispered, after digging in the grass next to the headstone, and pulling out of the small wrapping your wedding rings. You placed the metal in the dirt, along with the daffodil seeds you brought with you. Using some of the water from the bottle you had in your hands, you watered after burying the items. "Rest in peace, my love."

#wanda maximoff #wanda x reader #wandaxyou #wanda maximoff x reader #wanda x you #wanda x yn #wanda maximoff x you #marvel imagines #sorry for your loss

[linkspooky]

...And they were brothers.

From the start, Endeavor has pitted his own children against each other. Now we’re seeing the complex dynamics of an abusive household, Todoroki Shoto Endeavor’s  golden child and Todoroki Toya Endeavor’s scapegoat, play out on a battlefield. At first glance, Shoto looks like the good brother fighting on the side of the heroes, and Toya the bad brother who cares more for plotting villainous revenge than anything else. However, it’s more complicated than that: a look at abusive dynamics and the character foiling between Shoto and Toya underneath the cut. 

Before I begin, a brief explanation of the golden child and scapegoat dynamic. 

Abuse isn’t just a thing that happens. It’s a power dynamic. The Todoroki Household is considered an abusive household, because all the power is held by one man, Todoroki Enji. An abusive power dynamic can be explained simply as a person who uses the power they have others to their own advantage.

An abusive teacher is someone who steps out of line and acts inappropriately with a student, who they are responsible for because they have power over them. An abusive parent will use their authority as a parent to act in a way that’s not in a child’s best interests. 

Abuse is also a cycle. It perpetuates itself. The reason abuse is cyclical is that, in an abusive dnyamic, fights or disturbances can’t resolve in a healthy way so usually things will go back to status quo and power will be held by the abuser again at the end of the disruption. 

I’m simplifying here to try to make this as understandable as possible, but abuse is a power dynamic. It comes down to a question of: Who holds power in the household? 

In the Todoroki Household, it’s Todoroki Enji who holds all the power. 

In a narcicisst’s household, everyone exists to serve the narcissit. This is quite literal in the Todoroki Household. Enji only had children so they could take on his dream of being number one hero and he could live vicariously though them. 

Let’s strip away all the fantasy paint in this scenario and define it in more realistic terms. Enji thinks he is entitled to something: the title of number one hero. Enji is unable to handle the feelings of being denied the thing he wants, so instead he sets up a family. 

Enji’s family exists for his emotional benefit. He expects his family to “give him something.” He only had a family in the first place, because he thought he was denied what he was owed. Enji had a family for selfish reasons, and thought they existed to fulfill his ambitions, his intention from the start was to use them. So, it’s no wonder more traditional forms of abuse (wife beating, child abuse) rose out of these circumstances. The Todoroki Household is built by Enji, and at the center is Enji a narcissist. 

(I do more nuanced takes on Enji’s character in other meta, but this isn’t the time or the place to talk about it here). 

The household is centered around Enji, he’s the most powerful person in the house, and he expects the household to give him what he wants. When he’s denied what he wants, he’ll rely on abusive tactics to get it.

There are many types of abuse. Tactics used by abusers include: private criticism leading to doubt and hurt; public criticism leading to shame or humiliation; threats of emotional or physical withdrawal leading to abandonment; withdrawal of money or sexual contact that leads to a devaluation of financial power or decrease in sexual self-esteem; verbal threats that can begin a process of fear; verbal and physical tirades or tantrums (i.e., power displays) that can leave the victim feeling helpless; and finally, physical aggression that can lead to fears of physical death.

In the process of a relationship where a man uses these "tactics" on a woman, any or all can be used in any order, at any time. Usually in the beginning of the relationship, criticism and withdrawal are the two most used tactics that lead the man to have an increased sense of power and control, and the woman to have a decreased sense of power and control. [Source] 

Endeavor is denied what he wants. Endeavor gets impatient.He denies that Shoto is even properly in pain, and claims he is just faking it. Endeavor uses physical aggression as an intimidation to get Rei back in line. We also know this happened, Rei fought Endeavor hard for Shoto’s sake at first, but over time became more fragile and more mentally unstable. 

My point is not to detail Endeavor’s abuse because we already know it happened, but to show the underlying motive behind the abuse, abuse is a pwoer dynamic, Endeavor was acting to maintain total authority and control in the household. For the narcicisst everything in the household exists to fulfill the narcicisst’s needs. 

The children as Enji sees them all exist to fulfill his ambitions, so he can live vicariously through them, therefore he doesn’t see their pain. He doesn’t see outside his own ego, because tending to Enji’s needs comes first. He scapegoats one child, ignores the other two, and then the child he does pour his love into he cannot see how much his love and attention is actively harming this child. When Shoto doesn’t want to accept Enji’s attention, he sees Shoto as ungrateful and rebellious. How dare you Shoto, I’m putting all this time and effort into raising you, I’m giving you all of these advantages in life and you don’t repay me????

My point in going into this much detail is that no matter what happens, or how the victims turn on each other in the household, the architect of the abuse, the one who created this situation is Enji. If the victims blame each other, then it benefits Enji because his position at the center will remain unchallenged. 

Which is why... 

“It’s not better or worse to be the golden child. Both face the psychological whiplash of being raised by a narcissist. The GC becomes the conformer to the extreme, with the intense pressure to measure up, and when they don’t they receive cruelty. The SG becomes the rebel who receives almost constant cruelty and shaming. 

The scapegoat and golden child are created because the abuser has a set of impossible to fulfill and aribtrary standards. One of thsee children meets those standards and one of those children does not. 

Why divide people up like this, though? 

As I said, it’s a power dyanmic. We have already seen this play out in canon once before in the richly detailed telling of the Shimura Household. A household where abuse is taking place will be an unstable environment, because it exists at the whim of an abuser. If there are more than just abuser and victim in the house, people will inevitably notice the fractured mood. This is exactly what happened in the Shimura household, there was a problem that everyone saw but nobody talked about.

The Shimura household was constantly being disrupted by Kotaro’s abuse on Tenko, however, an abusive dynamic maintains itself by denying the abuse. Rather than confront Kotaro who holds all the power in the household, the weaker Tenko is blamed. This is Tenko’s issue that clings with him all the way until adulthood, instead of just calling his father out for his improper behavior, his family all sided with his father and told Tenko to stop picking fights. 

The process will continue as long as the man denies the impact of these tactics on the woman and the woman also denies being victimized. He will deny the impact because of acculturation and insensitivity; [Source.]

Instead of challenging the abuser, the victim is told that it is his fault, he needs to stop provoking the abuser, he needs to stop crying, he needs to stop being so sensitive, the feelings of the abuser are catered to over that of their victim and the dynamic is miantained. By finding a scapegoat to blame for the unrest in the household that is happening because of the abuse, nobody ever challenges the abuse directly. 

In other words divide and conquer. If the abuser pits victims against each other, it’s practically guaranteed that nobody will challenge him or confront him on his behavior and he’ll continue uninterrupted. So, in the Todoroki Household where there is a golden child and a scapegoat it continues like this: 

So in the family, the Scapegoat and the Golden Child become these roles assigned by the narcissist in order to play the game of Extract Narcissistic Supply through Triangulation.

Triangulation is like driving a wedge between people. Basically, the game involves two or more people who get pitted against each other and usually they don’t even realize what’s happening. They’re just aware of the conflict between each other and there’s always this conflict. [...]  The narcissist wants the loyalty of everybody and the narcissist wants everybody fighting amongst themselves. [Source.]

This is why every Dabi fan in the series is saying that Shoto, and Toya were set up to fight against each other, because they were. Enji keeps Shoto separated from his siblings, to maintain control. The scapegoat will blame Shoto for his circumstances believing if they hadn’t been born their fathers attention would be theirs, and the golden child will blame the scapegoat for their rebellion, and their own actions done in reaction to the father’s abuse. HOWEVER. In fighting each other. blaming each other, it is Enji who will escape ultimate blame. 

Which is why ultimately scapegoat and golden child don’t really matter, they are  both victims of the same abuser. Shoto and Toya are the same in the way they were abused and their reactions to abuse, it’s only circumstances that differ with them. 

1. Shoto and Dabi Is the Same

Edit by @miriio​

Shoto and Toya are the same, not just because they’re both brothers with the same fire quirk, but because they’ve both been moulded by Enji their entire lives, and their personalities, values, are all in reaction to that. Abuse scars everyone it touches. Arguing about whose scars are worse are besides the point, rather Shoto and Toya mirror each other because they both cope with the stress of abuse in similiar ways, despite their entirely different positions in the household. 

In chapter 204 when faced with a foe who won’t give up, Shoto Todoroki flashes back to his father, and begsin to use his fire qiurk. 

We are shown earlier in this chapter Enji’s attempts to once again assert control over him. Enji texts Shoto multiple times having gone behind his back to get his number. Enji insists that he be the one to teach Shoto prominence burn. (Enji also uses the tactic of understating the past abuse saying he was “misguided” in the past). Shoto while fighting against Tetsu^4 is also fighting against the memory of his father, and uses his flames to his absolute limit in order to prove that they are his flames. He even goes so far to warn Tetsu that he’s not holding back and could cause severe burn damage to his body. 

This also mirrors an earlier behavior when Enji pushed Todoroki before his fight with Sero, he overdid his ice quirk to the point of freezing the entire stadium. There’s an idea with Shoto that just because he is starting on the path to healing, and learning to cope healthily, that he never lashes out, or responds to his his father’s violence with violence. That is simply not true. 

Shoto’s character arc is not complete. He is still dealing with this. As far back as the fight against Class B, he was getting what look to be trauma flashbacks in the middle of the fight, and could have even possibly been triggered by Tetsu’s relentless beating down on him. 

Shoto and Toya maintain a similiar pattern of behavior, in that they intentionally are docile, and hold back their strength in a fight. Shoto used to never use his flames at all. He also usually uses them far less effectively than his ice quirk. 

Toya also, uses his flames sparingly in a fight (albeit for different reasons, his flames will burn him as he has no way of cooling himself like Shoto). However, when pushed in the situation, especially emotionally he will go all out. He’ll use the fire with far less regard for who he burns or even for burning himself. 

Toya doesn’t use his flames at all, until he does and then he has no sense of moderation. 

Besides the way they use their flames, and their bad relationship with their own flames, (Shoto holds them back, Toya is burned by them.) They also both tend to overuse their quirk when they get emotionally riled or are lashing out. Their fire is a metaphor for their emotions, but more on that later.

Shoto and Toya exhibit several behaviors, the similarities are especially strong between Shoto and Earlyroki. First and foremost, they both insist on doing everything alone. 

They’re both (Dabi, Earlyroki) highly individualist people who purposefully distance themselves from others, and deny any closeness to others because  they need to feel strong on their own. 

Shoto and Toya are people who have lived their entire lives fighting their controlling father over agency over their own lives in different ways. Toya fights Endeavor’s rejection of him, and Shoto fights Endeavor’s smothering and insistence that he take his legacy. The reason they cut out everybody else from their lives is because (1: their father dominating and controlling them they never learned to make connections with others, 2: they live their entire lives focusing on battling against their father). 

However, the methods they use to fight their father are what their father taught them, because ultimately it’s all they know. Children who are raised in an abusive household grow up improperly. They don’t know healthy means of dealing with their emotions because they are never taught these. Developmentally, they are stunted and this can even have effects late into an adulthood so it doesn’t actually matter that Dabi is in his twenties (especially since he died in his teens). 

Shoto, and Dabi are to an extent what their father made them to be. They are staunch individualists, who rely on the strength of their quirk to get what they want, like being the strongest truly is the only thing that matters. This behavior is shown in the both of them, but especially with Earlyroki. There are parallels. The way they both deal with small fry villains. 

The scene where they both take out minor villains by entirely dominating them with their quirk is a parallel set up between the two of them.

They also both have a tendency towards dissociation to try to deal with past trauma: IE, trying to move themselves away from their feelings and insist their not feeling anything in order to avoid their feelings.

At their worst, Shoto and Toya show off several of the same behaviors. These are all symptoms of abuse. Their shared inability to regulate their own fire is a metaphor for the fact that neither of them were taught how to properly regulate their own emotions. 

A healthy adult is able to handle stress, and negative emotions in healthy ways. They can put a lid on it, deal with it at a better time, think and sort through them. Shoto’s emotions always, always, always, come out during a fight even if he insists he’s letting go of the past and his father. Dabi and Shoto show behavior where they are either completely emotionally remote and unreachable “off”, or they are flipped “on” and completely unleash themselves. The point of these states of being is that Toya and Shoto are themselves unstable, because they were not fully developed emotionally, because they did not grow up in a household where their emotional well being was put first and foremost. 

They grew up in a household where they catered to Enji’s emotions first and foremost, and because of that both Shoto and Toya have trouble finding themselves in their fire. They also show several other symptoms, dissociation, social isolation, and a belief that they have to be strong and handle everything by themselves. Dabi cannot accept cooperation, and neither could Earlyroki. IN effect, Dabi is still fighting against the idea that he is weak that was beaten into him by his father, so of course relying on others is the sign of that same weakness. They both let their flames burn because they feel the need to be strong. 

2. Shoto and Dabi is different

I am making the argument that they are emotionally very similiar, and they both are who they are in reaction to what Endeavor did to them. They just take a different tack in the way they frame themselves. Dabi the villain, Shoto the hero.

Shoto mentions very early on his quirk could be used to kill people, but he won’t, because that’s not a heoric action to do.

Dabi says that he’s killing these villains for a purpose. We learn later what that purpose is, to get his body count up to thirty in order to further stain Endeavor’s name.

In other words, Shoto fights against his father as a hero, Toya fights against his father as a villain. This also reflects the golden child / scape goat dynamic. Shoto on the whole conforms, Dabi on the whole rebels. Shoto is still in the middle of hero society.

Shoto’s strategy has always been that he has to work around Endeavor to get what he wants, which leads to Shoto cooperating with Endeavor on many occasions. He interns with him because he’s the number two hero. He often has his boundaries violated by Endeavor wanting to act like father son in public and Shoto not being comfortable with that. 

Shoto’s strategy is to exist within the same framework that his father created, but learn to be his own hero. In this strategy he gives Endeavor what he wants almost as a trade for what Shoto still needs, which is practice and training to become a hero on his own terms. 

The golden child conforms, the scapegoat rebels. Shoto tries to accomplish what he wants inside of hero society, whereas Dabi pushes his agenda as a villain. Shoto lives to become a true hero, and wants to become a hero for his own reasons not because his father pushed him to, but because All Might inspired him.

Toya not only declares that there are no true heroes, but he dedicates everything to tearing down what he sees are false heroes. His strategy is one of rebellion. Toya is aware of the arbitrary and hypocritical labels of hero and villain in this society, and because of that goes out of his way to show someone how villainous the actions of a hero can be.

However. Shoto wanting to become a hero. Toya becoming a villain from necessity. 

Isn’t as black and white as it seems. Toya has what Shoto lacks, which is awareness, the ability to criticize society and the situation he was in. Enji isn’t the only one to blame for the abuse of the Todoroki household, the society that allowed it to happen is also to blame. Shoto is capable of unknowingly inflicting violence on people who are just like him victims of abuse because he lacks Toya’s outside perspective.

Shoto, that kills people.

Shoto, that also kills people.

The point being it easily could have been Dabi that Shoto stabbed to death with an icicle, or burned alive to the point where half of his body was smoking. It could have been Dabi who has the same scars as him, who was burned by the same man. It’s only chance that he was going all out against Shigaraki instead of Dabi. Shoto can’t see villains as victims of the hero system, even though he was a victim of the same system. 

Shoto hesitates when he learns that it’s Toya but what is the difference here? He was ready to use lethal force on Shigaraki a moment ago. Has anything truly changed? Dabi is still an enemy trying to destroy hero society. He still kills innocent people. He’s just now a villain that Shoto happens to know personally. 

My point is that Shoto’s conformity can set him up against victims of the same society. The same way that, Dabi’s rebellion can lead him to harm his own family.

Dabi’s rebellion is just lashing out. The scapegoat because they are the lowest position in the whole family, because they are isolated, can sometimes associate the abuser’s actions with the whole family. We saw this with little Tenko. Tenko resented both his abuse father, but also his little sister for tattling on him, his mother and grandparents for not comforting him and taking any steps to stop his father. When you are the lowest rung on the ladder, when the stress of the whole household is taken out on you, you tend to see every member of the family as the same. 

Dabi absorbs the stress of the whole household. When he inevitably retaliates because nobody can keep that stress inside of them, and Dabi has been taught no healthy means of dealing with that stress, he is pitted against both other members of his family and Endeavor himself. 

Dabi’s rebellion will hurt other people in the household, he has no regard for Shoto whatsoever, he sent Ending to Endeavor who ended up kidnapping Natsuo, he also is probably going to cause Rei’s setback.

However, at the same time Dabi’s lashing out is inevitable. Dabi was made to bear the stress of the entire household when he was blame and ousted as the scapegoat instead of his father Endeavor. Dabi is dealing with those emotions alone, lashing out on them alone, he only sees his own pain, but that is because to begin with, and all this time he has been suffering alone. 

That’s where we get to the main difference between them, Shoto now has support, and Toya doesn’t. 

Shoto even says back as early as the stain arc, which is the arc that Dabi first emerged in the aftermath of, that the problem with Earlyroki is not that he was angry, but that he was dealing with that anger all alone. He says it, that being all alone warps your vision, to the point where you can only see yourself.

Dabi is cut off from others, he might care about them but he severs those feelings away from himself. He has been isolated at least since he died, and maybe all his life, and even the connections of the league can’t bridge the gap between himself and others. Dabi is someone stuck in permanent Earlyroki phase because to him he lives his life for one purpose.

Shoto has been allowed to develop as his own person, because he let others in. The biggest difference between them can be illustrated with their fire. Dabi says his flames are Endeavors flames. Shoto is told that his flames are his own. 

However, Shoto did not reach this consclusion on his own. He was told this by someone else. Shoto could not even take the first step until someone showed him the way, so who is to say the same can’t be true for Dabi? 

Dabi has been separated from his family, homeless for ten years, and he literally died that one time. It’s likely that in all that time nobody has told him something so simple as “Your flames can be your own.” Dabi doesn’t know he can have a life outside of revenge against Endeavor because he hasn’t been shown it, he’s only ever known his father’s abuse and his fight against it. We don’t know if the league can reach him or not because he hasn’t been entirely honest with the league until right this second. 

There’s a reason that the camera is cut like this. 

Shoto’s scar, the damage inflicted on him, and Enji’s unscarred side. It makes a point. Is Dabi really the enemy in this situation? Is Dabi the ultimate villain? He plays the mastermind but he’s not. 

Both Dabi and Shoto were burned by Endavor’s flames. It was Endeavor who created the situation and pitted them against each other in the first place. Which is why hero or villain, golden child or scapegoat it honestly, should not matter. Dabi and Shoto are not each other’s enemies, they were just made to think that way by Endeavor’s actions all the way back from when they were kids. 

If Dabi is blamed for his own rebellion. If he’s villified for it. If Dabi is made out to be the bad one for reacting the way he did, then, it’s no longer Enji’s fault for abusing him in the first place. After all, Natsuo, Fuyumi, and Shoto were similiarly abused and they didn’t react that way. Maybe Dabi just had bad vibes. If Dabi and Shoto are fighting each other, neither of them are fighting Enji, and the society he represents which enabled Enji’s abuse. While victims blame each other for their own reactions they don’t confront the abuser. 

Endeavor burned them, and Shoto, and Dabi are coping with those lifelong burns in different ways. Instead of trying to kill each other, they have much more to gain from sympathizing with one another. Shoto’s path to become a hero and surpassing his father, should take the course of being a hero who rescues. We’re even shown in this arc how horribly violent Enji is towards Shigaraki, a victim of similiar abuse to Shoto. Shoto would become a better hero, from listening to Dabi’s perspective and learning about the flaws in hero society. Whereas, Dabi needs to learn that he has a future beyond dragging his father to hell with him. Shoto was only able to open up to other people because someone forced their way through his walls and told him that his flame was his own, and Shoto can be the one to open Dabi’s eyes that his flame can be used for more than just destruction.

Shoto’s desire for a hero is not wrong, Dabi’s desire to confront Endeavor’s abuse is not wrong. Both of these things are necessary. To make a person stop behaving badly you have to confront them about your behavior. However, it’s not healthy to linger in your pain forever because you won’t be able to move on and heal. 

Shoto is someone who can tell the all important words to Dabi. Your flames are your own. Didn’t you want to be a hero? 

PS. It’s really hypocritical to say that Dabi is wrong for announcing what Enji did on public television, like... Shoto tells his backstory to literally anyone who asks. Fuyumi casually discusses the fact that Natsuo thinks their father killed their brother with Shoto’s two friends from school. THEY ARE ALL LIKE THAT. THE TODOROKIS WILL TALK ABOUT THEIR DRAMA IN FRONT OF ANYBODY. 

#mha meta #todoroki shoto #todoroki toya #todoroki shouto #todoroki touya #touya todoroki #shouto todoroki #dabi #shoto todoroki #todoroki family #tw: abuse #fuyumi todoroki #natsuo todoroki #rei todoroki #character foils #shoto dabi foils #todoroki dabi foils #todoroki dabi #dabi todoroki #my hero academia meta #my hero academia theory #my hero academia analysis #my hero academia character analysis #bnha 290 #mha 290 #bnha spoilers #mha spoilers

[dreamonminecraft]

Look I'm gonna defend Tommy, partially, but only because I know everyone already has their opinions. Honestly, it's certainly not as bad as the other joke he made, and I'd say there's a <1% chance he knows about the fake bbh and sapnap allegations. It's a weird joke to make, for sure, especially considering that's the relationship that him and Dream have themselves, and also that most of his friends are also adults, who dm'd a teenager and said they liked their content. If you take the joke out of context it's awful, but then you look at him interacting with Tubbo, who is also a minor, last month, and see him make a very similar joke about him. So where's the line?

Personally, I'm disappointed, but I think a lot of the issue is that Tommy just. doesn't. think. It's what he's known for, half the things he says he takes back, he's an absolute wildcard, and that's something that ultimately, is going to have to change. But that's just the evolution of content, and unfortunately for Tommy, the inspirations he's since he was 12 aren't going to lead him anywhere good for his reputation, career aside.

It's part of why I think he likes YouTube so much, because anything he says can be cut or edited without anybody ever knowing. And that's fine, because as bad a habit as it is, if no one sees an insensitive joke, it doesn't hurt anyone. Until it's live, and everyone sees it.

I'll leave it at this: Tommy doesn't have malicious intentions. Period. I don't think many people think that he does, but I think judging his actions largely on current events he likely has no idea is going on isn't fair for anyone's mental health.

#tommyinnit #tommyinnit neg mention