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gimme-tea-bitch · 3 years

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Self abuse and cruel masks, or “How Shadow Weaver Weaponized Catra and Adora’s Kindness”

Oh boy, it’s been a whole like, week?? since i’ve made meta? My brain is no longer in Catradora brainrot!

Jk, this is another analysis that i’m writing late after work because my head is empty, 1 thot.

So, on my drive home I realized something, both Adora and Catra are extremely compassionate. Which look, i get it, you’re like “Tea, dipshit, how did you only just realize this?” and look, i get it! I know they are compassionate, we see that in the show, but, that’s not the point i’m making, so let me clarify.

Catra and Adora are EXTREMELY compassionate. I would go as far to say that they are possibly some of the most inherently compassionate characters in the show. And like, Adora is obvious, but the important part to remember here is that, Catra is also included here.

The realization I had is that, Catra and Adora both want to help people, they both care about others, care about the little guy, so how did we get Catra to becoming a villain, you may ask? Well... it’s the abuse, I feel like that’s clear and that we’re on the same page. Many of Catra’s negative traits are a result of or greatly worsened by the abuse she endures from the Horde, and Shadow Weaver especially. So, let’s begin.

At her youngest, at least that we get to see, we see Catra being pretty much exclusively good, barring 1 instance. We see her playing with Adora, and we see their fierce love for each other begin its bloom. She’s playful and happy, and so is Adora, they just work together beautifully from the get go, becoming fast friends. The one instance we see that is different is what we see in “Corridors” i think the episode is called? When she is having flashbacks on the ship. We see Adora coming to comfort Catra after she lashed out. And in her emotional state, we see that she’s hurt Adora.

Now, it is key to remember context here. Catra is a child, her whole, short life, she has been raised in a culture where you become strong or you die. So joy and care are hard to come by. We also see early on, that Weaver’s abuse began very young, in earlier seasons where a Catra that barely looks any older than this season 5 flashback, is restrained by Weaver’s magic.

Knowing all this, it’s unsurprising that Catra would become scared that Adora would leave her for her “new friends” a child’s mind isn’t rational, and a child being abused is even less so. The key here, is that Catra expresses remorse. She is upset that she’s upset, but she’s more upset that she lashed out and hurt Adora.

As Catra grows up, we see her become more cruel, unsurprisingly. Because it’s the Horde. Every cadet either bullies, or gets bullied. But, Catra is not egregious in her cruelty. She doesn’t attack or bully anyone nearly as heavily as her peers. In fact, the person she bullies most is Kyle, and even that is limited to verbal jabs, something that it seems literally everyone does. This is in a culture where we see signs of cadets physically intimidating and shoving each other. The scene where Lonnie and two cadets corner Catra after Adora deserted comes to mind. And yet, up to this point, we don’t see Catra engage in that. So how does that happen? If Catra’s abuse is tied to Weaver’s abuse, why has she not become a villain already?

Enter, Adora. Adora is by no means innocent here, she’s part of the Horde, and just like Catra, engages in verbal jabs at other cadets, but just like Catra, she doesn’t seem to ever go further than that. And the common thread here is that unlike seemingly every other cadet here, Catra and Adora have something that no one else has. Love. See, they meet young, they become best friends early, and fast, and fiercely. Their whole lives, they have loved each other. And that love, I think at least, guards them against becoming the monsters the Horde wants to turn them into.

Now, I did say at the start that Weaver weaponized their kindness. So let’s explain that. We see that up until Adora leaves, Catra and Adora are possibly some of the nicest cadets the Horde has, baring Scorpia who doesn’t even insult people. So what happens? How does Catra become a villain seemingly instantly? Because Weaver takes the one thing that has helped Catra stay “good” Weaver takes her love.

Now I can hear you screaming “Tea! Tea! Weaver doesn’t do that! Adora leaves her and betrays her!” And to that I say, does she? We’ve so far focused on Catra, let’s examine Adora a bit more. We know very early that Adora has a strong sense of morals justice, (side note- we also see that Catra has a sense of justice and morals in the fact that she treats others kindly when they are kind to her, and that even when given power, she doesn’t use it to abuse.)

Adora’s sense of right and wrong is a crucial trait in how everything goes pear shaped. See, Weaver has goals and to achieve them, she needs Adora who she senses is strong, but Adora is fiercely kind, and wants to help everyone, so why would she help Weaver and the Horde commit mass murder? Well, it’s easy, propaganda. That’s right! The horde’s propaganda machine of brainwashing children is reliant on the fact that they think the rebels are evil. So to do this, they make up stories about the horrors that the princesses do. historically speaking the Horde isn’t doing anything new. They’re doing the same thing any historical empire does to justify killing their enemies. Dehumanize and demonize them, until even the “good ones” don’t know any better.

And it works! Of course it does! This is particularly effective against Adora because of her strong morals. She’s so focused on saving others that she doesn’t even register that this is a trick. Now Adora has a target, and it all falls into place. Because Adora is inclined to help others, all Weaver had to do now is feed that fierce compassion, tie it to her self worth, and voila. You have a young girl who’s looking to die for a good cause. Adora still loves Catra, and Catra still loves Adora, but. Adora gets manipulated into a martyr. She is convinced that if she doesn’t save everyone that she’s worthless, that her only value is how much of herself she can give.

So did Adora really have any choice when it came to taking the sword? Of course not. She could’ve handled it better. If Catra and Adora communicated better they could’ve avoided a lot of that suffering, but we’ve been over why they didn’t and how their abuse made them hide their emotions from each other, so let’s move on.

Adora never had a real choice, Weaver made sure of this. Weaver;s entire ploy weaponizes Adora’s kindness and compassion, but instead of weaponizing it to hurt others like she intended, she weaponized it to hurt Adora. Because if Adora can’t help, doesn’t help, then, in her mind, she should just be dead. Being dead is the only thing that can excuse her not sacrificing herself. And this, this care for others, that turns into hatred for herself, is what weaponized Catra’s kindness.

When Adora inevitably leaves, Catra loses the one thing that helped her endure it all, Love. Without it, all the abuse and the manipulation and the trauma, they come crashing down on her. Because that bubble of love is no longer holding those things back. That defence against Weaver, the support of Adora is gone, and she’s alone with just herself to fight back. And that’s too much for anyone, much less for someone young and suffering for this long.

The thing is, it’s not instant. I’ve built it up like it flips a switch and bam, she’s a villain. But that’s not true. Because we see that Catra still cares about people. She becomes more aggressive and violent. But she relates to Entrapta, helps her feel better when she gets left behind. She does show kindness, even after becoming a villain. And look, yes, she does use this to manipulate, but, it works because the basis of it is true. Because underneath the manipulations, she sees someone suffering and wants to help, but the only way she can allow herself to do that, after all this, is by making it seem pragmatic.

Weaver’s abuse does a lot, it causes a lot of harm to both Adora and Catra, and the effects of it ripple through so much of their lives. This is just one of many facets of how these two have been hurt. And all this it’s undone eventually. As much as some people wanna paint Catradora as abusive, it’s not. It’s quite literally the opposite, it’s healing. It’s a return to form. Because we see in season 5 how they each dismantle the weapons that Weaver put into their hearts.

Catra’s villainous mask is stripped away and she is laid bare, her weapons dismantled. Her goal gone. And the thing that she comes back to, when all that is dust, is the love that carried her so far. “Corridors” is beautiful because it’s Catra coming to terms and accepting that all this, it was to cover the fact that she loves, she loves so much, so fiercely, so wholeheartedly, she loves. And it hurt to lose that. But she still loves anyway, despite the hurt, despite the loss, she’s still full of a love she can’t get rid of, a love she didn’t know what to do with anymore. And she chooses to give it again. She chooses to give that love again. And in turn she dismantles Adora’s weaponized kindness.

Adora, who’s kindness and caring was turned into a blade. A sword hanging over her head, waiting to drop at any moment. Catra chooses to love Adora again, and she chooses to love Adora in spite of this sword. Adora, who’s whole life, who’s whole sense of self is carried in the weight of this blade waiting to kill her is told that she’s loved. Regardless of if or when the blade will drop, regardless of if she sacrifices herself, she is loved because she is Adora, she is loved because she is enough on her own. And that, that love, it removes the sword. It unties it and sets it on the floor.

Idk, it just it makes me so emotional. And i’ve made myself cry again. I think, an important thing to take away from this is that, just because someone is kind, doesn’t mean they can’t be cruel. abuse can turn that kindness into cruelty. And sure, we’re not cadets in a war machine, but, there’s people out there who are abused, and that abuse can make them unkind or rude, just idk, it’s really nice to see that it’s possible for people who’ve done shitty things for the wrong reasons to remember that they can be kind. That you do not lose your capacity for love and compassion just because you’ve made the mistake of being cruel. I think that’s important. I think it’s important to tell people that fire can destroy everything around you if you let it, but it can also provide warmth and comfort, and that’s you can choose what kind of fire you want to grow into.

#spop #meta #catra #adora #FUCK shadow weaver

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swordlesbean · 4 years

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rewatching the first 3 eps is kinda frustrating at how much Adora does NOT think about Catra covering for her not even once while she's playing around in beds, plays pinata, eats good food etc, she's gone for days and like Catra says later didn't even think she was taking the fall for her damn. and didn't even spare a glance at Catra while celebrating with her new driends at selinas

This is actually something I've wanted to talk about for a long time, so thanks for giving me an excuse to finally do it! I think when people are annoyed with Adora for supposedly not thinking about Catra in early s1, they aren't giving full consideration to Adora's perspective during that time period. She's, uh... dealing with a lot, to say the least. There's been a fair amount of analysis about Catra's perspective during this time, but not nearly as much about Adora's. I will try to remedy that here, in my typically long-winded way.

Let's take it from the beginning. Adora touches a mysterious sword in the woods that gives her visions and makes her black out. She’s still having these visions and hearing voices when she’s back home, so she sneaks out at night to find the sword again because she wants answers. Reasonable. She plans to be back by morning, but she asks Catra to stay behind because she doesn't want Catra getting in trouble on her behalf in case something goes wrong. Also reasonable. Boom, nothing goes according to her plan, and everything goes wrong.

Adora finds the sword, but runs into Rebellion soldiers. She tries to fight them for the sword, but when she touches it, she has another vision and blacks out again. She wakes up with her hands tied, a prisoner. She bides her time instead of trying to escape because she still wants the sword. During this time, she's told information that conflicts with what she knows about the Horde, and oh yeah, she somehow randomly transforms into an 8-foot-tall legendary warrior princess. Then she and her captors get chased by a giant spider to an abandoned temple, which she’s able to open because she can apparently read a long-dead language, but then they’re trapped in the ruins.

Once they get out, she’s no longer being held captive, so she can now go back to the Horde. But she needs answers and decides to go to Bright Moon so someone can give her an explanation for all this crazy shit happening to her. At this point, is she thinking about Catra and what might be happening back home? No. But frankly, there is a lot on her plate! Like, life changing stuff. She can turn into a princess! But princesses are evil and the enemy! But this angry sparkly princess and nice archer guy are saying the Horde are actually the bad guys? What is going on? What is she?

Adora still intends to go back to the Horde, but she feels she can't do that until she gets more intel about what happening to her and what it means. She’s always wanted to know more about where she came from. This may be her only chance. And even though her overprotective streak sometimes makes Catra think she feels otherwise, Adora absolutely believes in Catra and knows she's smart and resourceful and can handle herself, so it doesn't occur to Adora that there's reason to worry.

Then Thaymor happens. They stop there for transportation, but Bow insists they stay for the party because he realizes Adora's life has been utterly depressing, and he wants her to experience something nice. I think it's pretty harsh to hold it against Adora that she gets excited and awed and distracted by encountering a party and eating good food for the very first time in her life ever. Can the girl please be allowed to live a little? Like, she's an anxious, guilt-ridden, duty-burdened mess 90% of the time, so let's maybe not blame her for having a good time for once.

That good time is pretty quickly ruined anyway. Reality ensues. The Horde ensues. Catra ensues. But even as Thaymor is attacked, Adora thinks it's a mistake. It's bad intel; she just has to explain, and the Horde will stop. It's only when she comes face to face with Catra that she understands the truth about the Horde and makes her decision to leave. Let’s be clear on this: Adora doesn't just leave the Horde without any consideration for Catra. Catra isn’t an afterthought here, she is literally standing right in front of Adora when Adora makes her decision.

Thaymor from Adora's perspective is finding out that her whole life has been a lie and that she doesn't know her best friend as well as she thought. What Adora sees is Catra being part of an attack on defenseless people and seeming to have zero concern or regret about it. What she perceives is Catra refusing to join the good guys and choosing to remain part of a lying, destructive army despite the truth of a burning village in front of them. What she feels is Catra disregarding her decision to leave and tasing her in the back as she tries to walk away.

It's important to remember that in this moment, Adora feels betrayed by Catra as much as Catra feels betrayed by Adora. People always talk about Adora breaking their promise by choosing to leave, but Catra breaks it too by choosing to stay. They both make decisions that hurt the other, and they both feel abandoned.

So that's what Adora is carrying with her in regards to Catra in early s1. She's internalized this betrayal, these hurt feelings, but she's also really trying not to let herself feel any of it. Not just because it hurts, but because it’s what she’s been taught to do. She’s well-practiced in denying herself, denying her pain and her wants and needs. This trait of hers is given specific attention in s5, but it's a necessary lens to view Adora through in every season. She won't ever put herself and her feelings first. She doesn't think she's allowed to be weak, to feel hurt and express that hurt, not when more important things are at stake. Shadow Weaver always said her feelings for Catra were a problem, and for the first time, Adora agrees, so she tries not to feel them.

She can also avoid thinking about Catra because she has so much to distract her. Catra is still in the Horde, surrounded by reminders of Adora, so it's impossible for her not to think of Adora. But Adora's situation is different. She's in a new environment, suddenly overwhelmed by a huge destiny and all these new experiences and stimuli and social dynamics she has never experienced in her life. So she puts all of her attention into learning the rules and expectations of this new life. She hyperfocuses on her duty as She-Ra.

That doesn't mean there aren't reminders of the past. Adora doesn't feel comfortable sleeping alone, and the clear implication is that she can't sleep without Catra. She isn't "playing around in beds," she just has no idea what to make of a soft bed because she's used to austere conditions. And she's certainly not able to forget what the Horde represents to the people she's now living with. She gets run out of Bright Moon because of the Horde symbol on her back, and she receives a thinly veiled threat from Angella in front of Micah's portrait. She doesn't feel secure in her place in the Rebellion, so she's definitely not going to talk about missing anything or anyone from the Horde, however much of it she actually lets herself feel.

Salineas is the first time Adora encounters Catra after Thaymor, and the wounds from that confrontation are still fresh. She asked Catra to come with her then, but all it got her was a taser to the back, so she's not feeling too charitable towards Catra and isn't keen on reaching out again. She's completely in She-Ra duty mode, trying to restore the Sea Gate to protect the kingdom from the Horde. But then, Catra isn't making real efforts to try and bridge the gap between them either. In fact, from Adora’s perspective, she appears to be perfectly happy widening it.

While Adora is fixing the gate, she’s getting hit with electric feedback and also can't risk moving or fighting back, but that doesn’t stop Catra from lashing out at her. Catra mocks, scratches, punches. Even when she softens up a bit, she talks like Adora is just going through a phase. She's trying to convince Adora to come back to the Horde, but in the same way Adora wasn’t thinking about what Catra might face by covering for her while she was away, Catra’s not thinking about what it would actually mean for Adora to come back, the terrible consequences she would face as a defector.

Adora knows she can’t go back to the Horde, not just because of her morals, but also because it’s too late to do so without something bad happening to her. So she wonders, if Catra cares about her, why would she want to bring her back to that? If Catra cares about her, why won’t she just leave the Horde and come with Adora? Adora can't see into Catra's mind, so she doesn't know the underlying motivations and feelings driving her behavior. And Adora’s never really had the "you hurt me, so I'll hurt you back" impulse, so she’s more inclined to read Catra's aggressive actions towards her as a sign that Catra maybe doesn’t care about her as much as she once thought.

After Salineas, things continue to heat up between them during Princess Prom. This time Adora is highly confrontational towards Catra. She fully believes Catra is planning something bad, and she's absolutely right, though she still tries to save Catra's life when they fall off the cliff. That act doesn't seem to matter to Catra, and she ups the ante and hurts Adora worse then ever by taking Glimmer and Bow as hostages.

Adora finally softens towards Catra when Catra returns the sword and let's her and Glimmer escape the Fight Zone. Up until that moment, Adora isn't sure that Catra still cares, but this is confirmation for her. The next time they meet, Adora makes a real effort to reach out, and she again asks Catra to leave the Horde. And they actually do start reconnecting a little, until Light Hope plays on Catra's insecurities with those memory simulations, in an attempt to drive them apart and get Adora to let go of Catra in the same way Shadow Weaver always wanted her to.

And it does successfully drive them further apart and is the true beginning of Catra’s descent into villainous self-destruction and reality-destroying levels of resentment towards Adora. But what it doesn’t do is get Adora to let go of Catra. Because it doesn't matter what Light Hope and Shadow Weaver and even Catra say or do, Adora never can let go. She does eventually let go of the idea that she's the one responsible for Catra's actions, and she puts up boundaries and becomes harder towards Catra. But she never truly gives up on her or stops caring about her, even when Catra is at her most destructive and spiteful and personally hurtful towards Adora.

But then, Adora letting go of her feelings for Catra wasn't ever the solution anyway. Because She-Ra's power comes from love, and Catra is the first person Adora loved, and the person she loves the most deeply. So Adora as She-Ra is at her most powerful when she's loving Catra and doing it without conflict, either between the two of them or within Adora herself.

#adora #catradora #spop #she ra #meta #anonymous #congratulations to those of you that make it through this long ass read #there were just a lot of points i wanted to hit to really cover adora's perspective #and i felt it was necessary to describe the events of the first two eps in detail to drive home exactly what adora was facing

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fan-dot · 4 years

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Adora’s Abuse

I cannot stand how people minimize Adora’s abuse.

The form of abuse Adora suffered is insidious. It’s the kind that if you attempted to lay it all out, it doesn’t sound all that awful for most people. After all, she was being praised! She was the preferred child. She was the golden child.

The thing is, the abuse she faced is just as damaging and traumatizing as a ‘classic’ examples of abuse.

A Brief and Incomplete Breakdown

The primary form of abuse Adora faced (as far as we know) was emotional abuse. Shadow Weaver manipulated, terrorized, and traumatized her in an attempt to mold her into a weapon that she could use.

Adora’s Need For Control

Adora was placed on a pedestal. If she acted out, the people under her would be punished for her misbehavior. This bred a guilt complex in her- if bad things happened, it was her fault. She had to be good, whatever that meant to her in that moment, because if she was bad or misbehaved or wasn’t good enough, others were punished in her place.

On top of that, others around her were taught to look up to her. She couldn’t make mistakes because not only would she be letting Shadow Weaver down (and potentially getting her friends and squad mates hurt- or worse) but she would be letting everyone else down. And even further, if she messed up enough she could be the one getting hurt or tossed aside. Children need the love and affection of their caregivers. Potentially losing Shadow Weaver’s affection and attention could be terrifying for Adora.

But it wasn’t just Adora herself that had to behave well to avoid Shadow Weaver’s ire- it was the people around her. Shadow Weaver made Adora responsible for the behavior of others from a young age. When Catra misbehaved, messed up, or didn’t live up to Shadow Weaver’s expectations, Adora was blamed for it and Catra hurt- physically and emotionally. This again deepened Adora’s guilt complex. Now, other people’s behavior was her fault as well because Adora should have worked harder to make sure that her people behaved and did well. She should have checked in on them, pushed them harder, done more, anything- it’s her fault that they got in trouble. She needs to fix things. Everything has to be perfect because if it’s not, that’s dangerous. People are going to get hurt.

Adora is constantly on alert and seems to operate from a place of fear and anxiety a lot of the time. She needs to be the best, because if she isn’t, people are going to get hurt and she’s going to lose the people she cares about. She needs to do x because if she doesn’t, bad things will happen. If she isn’t perfect, if she’s not good, if she doesn’t fix things, if she, if she, if she-

The Effects of Witnessing Physical Abuse

We haven’t seen Shadow Weaver explicitly strike Adora yet as a child in the show. Even if she has, however, just witnessing how Shadow Weaver tormented Catra would leave scars. Children growing up in households where one parent is physically abused become fearful and anxious and hypervigiliant. Even if they are not being hurt directly, they have to watch someone they care about be hurt by someone else they care about.

There is a constant fear that the abuser could turn on them. Self-blame becomes a huge specter- if they had stepped in, if they hadn’t upset the abuser, if they had said something, if they were better, if they were good, would the abuser not hurt the other person anymore? Why am I not getting hurt? What did the victim do wrong? Sometimes the witness of the abuse can get angry at the victim for upsetting the abuser.

Adora grew up in an unstable, dangerous environment where as far as she knew, she could be hurt as badly as the others around her in a moment’s notice. She blames herself for a lot of what happened- after all, “if I was good, if I was better, maybe Shadow Weaver won’t hurt Catra.” She puts herself in danger to protect Catra, the same way a child might try to intervene if a parent or sibling were being abused.

Despite us never seeing Shadow Weaver hurt Adora while she was in her ‘care’, we still see Adora flinch from her and anxiety when she touches her. She tracks Shadow Weaver’s hands and squeezes her eyes shut when she pats her head, as if expecting a blow. That alone is sign that she fears violence from Shadow Weaver, whether or not she ever physically abused Adora as well.

Physical Abuse

The only physical abuse we have witnessed so far in the series comes from the episode where Shadow Weaver attempts to mind-wipe Adora.

Adora is in pain at the hands of the person who raised her.

Though we haven’t seen much evidence for physical abuse, I think it’s possible. Adora was raised to be a soldier and I wouldn’t be surprised if she faced a lot of direct or indirect physical violence as a result. A rare strike or electric shock could do a lot for Shadow Weaver’s attempts to keep her ‘in line’. A ‘I hate that you’re making me do this’ could be one way Shadow Weaver would use it to manipulate her.

After all, Adora is terrified of her touch. It could be from witnessing Catra’s abuse, but there is potential that Catra wasn’t the only one who faced physical abuse, even if she was the primary target.

Beyond that though, there is a form of physical abuse that is a bit fuzzy on whether it is emotional or physical abuse in nature that both Adora and Catra experience in spades.

Body blocking.

Shadow Weaver is always looming over Adora and Catra. She exerts her power over them and nonverbally threatens them. She traps them into rooms and into her space and takes away their power.

Adora’s Weak Concept of Self

Like many abuse survivors, Adora has a weak sense of self. This is only compounded upon by her being raised to be a soldier. The failures and successes of herself and the other cadets were pooled together as a group and attributed to the leader- Adora. Adora’s successes then were attributed to Shadow Weaver, and so on and so forth. Adora’s sense of self was eroded away through attaching her sense of self worth to what she could do for other people and making people happy with her.

Her identity is completely wrapped up in being a leader, being a weapon, and being responsible for others. She needs to be perfect or what else is she? Adora is put in charge of Catra after seeing her get shoved around and frozen, cementing that need for perfection in her. Others suffering and success rely on her, making up a key part of her identity.

It takes seeing first hand the horrors of the Horde for her to change sides because Adora wrapped up so much of her self-worth and self-identity in being Shadow Weaver’s ace. It takes until then for her to start to break through Shadow Weaver’s manipulation. Catra knew that and could recognize on some level what Shadow Weaver was doing to the both of them- after all, she faced the overt abuse, saw how differently (and negatively) she was treated from others. Adora could not, especially with Shadow Weaver beating into her head a lack of self-identity.

Becoming She-Ra, as much as it was her idealism and innate sense of justice, was a way of clinging to a new external identity after her old one was shattered. She sees the sword as her identity, her worth tied to how good a weapon she can be for the Princesses now instead of the Horde. When it shatters, so does her sense of self and purpose.

Overt Emotional Abuse

When Adora does go against Shadow Weaver, without Catra around anymore to be a scapegoat, there is a reversal from covert to overt emotional abuse and manipulation being the primary tactic.

Shadow Weaver attempts to reinforce Adora’s lack of self worth and self concept. Whether explicitly or more subtly, she told Adora over and over and over and over again that she was nothing. That she was worthless if she wasn’t what Shadow Weaver wanted. That she didn’t matter.

All the good things about her? They were conditional on Adora’s obedience.

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Other Side Notes

- Shadow Weaver stalked Adora during that episode where Adora’s trauma and PTSD is on full display (the first Mystacor episode)

- In that same episode, she took Glimmer’s form and said awful, manipulative, and abusive shit to her

- Adora knows Shadow Weaver is willing and capable of killing- and knows that’s a potential consequence for failing or not ‘keeping Catra in line’; that’s a lot to put on a little kid

- How often did Shadow Weaver go a little too far (on purpose or on accident) and weaponized affection to bring Adora around and make her feel guilty for being upset or upsetting Shadow Weaver?

- When Adora rejects Shadow Weaver’s attempt to manipulate her with affection, Shadow Weaver switches gears to praise. There’s groundwork there, years of conditioning and manipulation that lead to this exchange.

- Adora’s childhood was filled with gaslighting, but that’s a topic for another post

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Shadow Weaver traumatized Adora to the point that she had panic attacks and a breakdown over the thought of her being around her. That alone tells you how much that woman traumatized her. Her abuse is not lesser because it was primarily psychological and covert. That just makes it harder to recognize and harder to heal. Don’t minimize it.

#spop #she ra #adora #adora spop #long post #abuse #meta #spop meta

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piet-ra · 3 years

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Taylor Swift x Catradora Masterlist

So, this is a masterlist no one asked for but I'm doing anyway. It's basically every Taylor Swift song that think fits the dynamic perfectly or that I'm completely projecting a Catradora storyline into (it's canon universe, no AU). I’m basically SPOPfying TS’s discography. It can be just one line or the whole song. I will highlight the lyrics and it is sorted by album. I hope you enjoy it and if it helps my fanfic writers out there, all the best. (just an fyi, I’m listening to all of this through a very romantic filter, before anyone comes at me saying that “actually catra wanted more than Adora and their issues were deeper than just unrequited love and bla bla. I know. just let us enjoy this gay animated couple)

I might develop my reasoning more in some than in others, so if you want to know more about why I chose such song and all that, just send me asks, I love them!

Let’s get on with the list now!

From “Taylor Swift”(Yee haw taylor at her finest)

Picture to burn

okay, so bear with me. Catra’s pov after Adora left her.

“there’s no time for tears/I’m just sitting here plotting my revenge”

“And if you’re missing me you’d better keep it to yourself/ cause coming back around here would be bad for your health”

“so watch me strike a match on all my wasted time/ as far as i’m concerned you’re just another picture to burn” -> I can just imagine catra scratching their doodles when i listen to this through a catradora lens.

Teardrops on my guitar

Teenage Catra’s pov pining over Adora.

“Drew looks at me/I fake a smile so he won’t see/That I want and I’m needing/ everything that we should be”

“I laugh 'cause it is just so funny/ That I can't even see anyone when he's with me”

“[he’s] the only one who’s got enough of me to break my heart”

A Place in this World

Adora trying to deal with the new responsibilities and pressure She-ra brought her.

“I don’t know what I want/ so don’t ask me/ ‘cause I’m still trying to figure it out/ don’t know what’s down this road/ I'm just walking/Trying to see through the rain coming down”

“I’m alone, on my own/ and that’s all I know/ I’ll be strong, I’ll be wrong/ oh but life goes on/ oh I’m just a girl/ trying to find a place in this world”

The outside

Catra’s pov(on her way to redemption)

“So, how can I ever try to be better?/ Nobody ever lets me in/ And I can still see you, this ain’t the best view/ On the outside looking in”

“You saw me there, but never knew/ That I would give it all up to be/ A part of this, a part of you/ And now it's all too late, so you see/ You could have helped if you had wanted to/ But no one notices until it's too late to do anything/ How could I ever try to be better?”

Tied Together With a Smile

Catra to Adora and her self sacrificial complex.

“hold on, baby, you’re losing it/ the water’s high/ you’re jumping into it/ And letting go and no one knows/ That you cry but you don’t tell anyone/ That you might not be the golden one/ and you’re tied together with a smile/ but you’re coming undone

Should’ve said no

Catra to Adora(season 1)

“you should’ve said no, you should’ve gone home/ you should’ve thought twice ‘fore you let it all go/You should've known that word like what you did with her/ Would get back to me/ and I should’ve been there, in the back of your mind/ I shouldn’t be asking myself why/You shouldn't be beggin' for forgiveness at my feet/ you should’ve said no, baby, and you might still have me”

“I can’t resist, before you go, tell me this/ was it worth it?”

I’m only me when I’m with you

just general catradora because this is effing cute

“I'm only up when you're not down/Don't wanna fly if you're still on the ground/ It's like no matter what I do/ Well you drive me crazy half the time/ The other half I'm only tryna let you know that what I feel is true/ And I'm only me when I'm with you”

A Perfectly good heart

Catra’s pov(season 1)

“Why would you wanna take our love and tear it all apart now/ Why would you wanna make the very first scar/ Why would you wanna break a perfectly good heart”

“Maybe I should've seen the signs/ Should've read the writing on the wall/ And realized by the distance in your eyes that I would be the one to fall/ No matter what you say, I still can't believe/ That you would walk away/ It don't make sense to me”

From “Fearless”(platinum edition)

Forever and always

ohhh the promises.... catra’s pov.

“And then you feel so low you can't feel nothing at all/ And you flashback to when we said forever and always/ And it rains in your bedroom/ Everything is wrong/ It rains when you're here and it rains when you're gone/ 'Cause I was there when you said forever and always/ You didn't mean it baby”

Come in with the rain

this one i think it fits both Adora and Catra singing the same thing to each other(while they were still stranged) and if you want the whole reasoning behind, ask haha cause otherwise this is going to be even bigger.

“I've watched you so long, screamed your name/ I don't know what else I can say/ But I'll leave my window open/ 'Cause I'm too tired at night for all these games/ Just know I'm right here hoping/ That you'll come in with the rain/ I could go back to every laugh/ But I don't wanna go there anymore”

The other side of the door

this is pure catra. just pure catra. seasons 1- 4 Catra and what she did vs her real feelings. (very fitting for ”promises” too)

“In the heat of the fight I walked away/ Ignoring words that you were saying/ Trying to make me stay/ I said, "This time I've had enough"/ And you've called a hundred times/ But I'm not picking up/ 'Cause I'm so mad I might tell you that it's over/ But if you look a little closer/ I said, "Leave," but all I really want is you/ To stand outside my window throwing pebbles/ Screaming, "I'm in love with you"”

“Me and my stupid pride are sitting here alone/ Going through the photographs, staring at the phone”

“So babe if you know everything/ Tell me why you couldn't see/ When I left, I wanted you to chase after me”

“And I'll scream out the window/ I can't even look at you/ I don't need you but I do, I do, I do/ I say, "There's nothing you can say/ To make this right again, I mean it, I mean it”/ What I mean is/ I said, "Leave," but baby, all I want is you”

White Horse

okay, that’s just a joke. but I wanted to share the mental image my brain created. I just can’t stop imagining Catra on princess prom, looking longingly at Adora dancing with some nameless girl and singing “I’m not a princess, this ain’t a fairytale/ I’m not the one you’ll sweep off her feet/ lead her up the stairwell” and then catching a glimpse of swifty “Now it’s too late for you and your white horse to come around”

i’m so sorry for this, but I’m actually not.

oh and the more serious interpretation is Catra refusing Adora and her fucking hero complex, saying it’s too late for her to try to go and fix things.

You belong with me

Just to mention this song fits every childhood friends to lovers ever. so that’s it.

Tell me why

Adora’s pov(season 3-4). I feel this is Adora getting more and more frustrated with Catra and especially after she “gave up” on catra after the portal. and this connection made me sad.(and I’m not by any means calling Catra abusive with this, because I know how the song depicts a somewhat abusive relatioship and I’m not by saying Catradora is that(it isn’t, at all), but their relationship throughout the seasons is fucking messy.)

“I took a chance, I took a shot/ And you might think I'm bulletproof, but I'm not/ You took a swing, I took it hard/ And down here from the ground I see who you are/ I'm sick and tired of your attitude/ I'm feeling like I don't know you”

“And I need you like a heartbeat/ But you know you got a mean streak.”

“And I know you see what you’re doing to me/ Tell me why”

and the one that hurts:

“I take a step back, let you go/ I told you I’m not bulletproof/ Now you know”

You’re Not Sorry

Adora’s pov, post portal

“All this time I was wasting hoping you would come around/ I've been giving out chances every time and all you do is let me down/ And it's taken me this long, baby, but I've figured you out/ And you're thinking we'll be fine again, but not this time around”

“You don't have to call anymore/ I won't pick up the phone/ This is the last straw/ Don't wanna hurt anymore/ And you can tell me that you're sorry/ But I don't believe you baby like I did before/ You're not sorry”

Change

so everything here might be a lot of a stretch, but I can’t really control what my head comes up with. The song progresses and so does Catradora’s story in this. like, I feel the song starts when they are kids in the Horde and then teenagers promising each other they will rise in the ranks and rule the place and then after defeating Horde Prime and getting their new beginning.(And maybe both of them singing, but I feel Adora would fit better, dunno)

“And it's a sad picture, the final blow hits you/Somebody else gets what you wanted again and/ You know it's all the same, another time and place/ Repeating history and you're getting sick of it/ But I believe in whatever you do/ And I'll do anything to see it through/ Because these things will change/ Can you feel it now?” -> Adora singing to catra imo, but you see it however you want to honestly.

“These walls that they put up to hold us back will fall down/ This revolution, the time will come/ For us to finally win/ And we'll sing hallelujah, we'll sing hallelujah” -> Here it’s the promise they made when they were younger, that they would be running the place together and even the “nothing rly bad can happen as long as we have each other” one.

“So we've been outnumbered, raided, and now cornered/ It's hard to fight when the fight ain’t fair/ We're getting stronger now, finding things they never found/ They might be bigger but we're faster and never scared” -> maybe their teenage years strengthening their resolution.

“Tonight we stand, get off our knees/ Fight for what we've worked for all these years/ And the battle was long, it's the fight of our lives/ But we'll stand up champions tonight/ It was the night things changed/ Can you see it now?” -> this could be so so so many things, but I chose to see as a time skip and it is the night they defeated horde prime just to make it interesting. (this whole thing was such a stretch, but I’m having fun with it, so fuck it i guess)

From “Speak Now”

Sparks Fly

Adora’s pov

“The way you move is like a full on rainstorm/ And I'm a house of cards/ You're the kind of reckless/ That should send me running/ But I kinda know that I won't get far”

“Take away the pain/ 'Cause I see, sparks fly, whenever you smile/ Get me with those green eyes, baby/ As the lights go down/ Gimme something that'll haunt me whenever you're not around/ 'Cause I see, sparks fly, when you smile”

“My mind forgets to remind me, your a bad idea”

Back to December

Catra’s pov(call from Horde Prime’s ship and interactions on Darla)

“Your guard is up and I know why/ Because the last time you saw me/ Is still burned in the back of your mind”

“So this is me swallowing my pride/ Standing in front of you, saying I'm sorry for that night”

“It turns out freedom ain't nothing but missing you”

“These days, I haven't been sleeping/ Staying up, playing back myself leaving”

“I'd go back in time and change it, but I can't/ So if the chain is on your door, I understand”

Mean

That’s just Catra singing to Shadow Weaver, I’m sorry. the whole song fits here, so just my top picks.

“You, with your words like knives/ And swords and weapons that you use against me/ You have knocked me off my feet again/ Got me feeling like I'm nothing/ You, with your voice like nails on a chalkboard/ Calling me out when I'm wounded/ You, picking on the weaker man”

“You, with your switching sides/ And your wildfire lies and your humiliation/ You have pointed out my flaws again/ As if I don't already see them”

“All you are is mean/ And a liar, and pathetic, and alone in life/ And mean, and mean, and mean, and mean”

The story of us

both Adora and Catras(basically the whole song lol)

“I used to think one day we'd tell the story of us/ How we met, and the sparks flew instantly”

“I used to know my place was a spot next to you/ Now I'm searching the room for an empty seat/ 'Cause lately, I don't even know what page you're on”

“Oh, a simple complication/ Miscommunications lead to fallout/ So many things that I wish you knew/ So many walls up, I can't break through”

“Now I'm standing alone in a crowded room/ And we're not speaking/ And I'm dying to know/ Is it killing you like it's killing me?/ Yeah, I don't know what to say/ Since the twist of fate when it all broke down/ And the story of us looks a lot like a tragedy now”

“How I was losing my mind when I saw you here/ But you held your pride like you should've held me”

“Why are we pretending this is nothing?/ I'd tell you I miss you, but I don't know how/ I've never heard silence quite this loud”

“This is looking like a contest/ Of who can act like they care less/ But I liked it better when you were on my side”

“But I would lay my armor down/ If you say you'd rather love than fight”

(let’s ignore that the song actually ends in tragedy lol)

Haunted

Why did you leave, Adora, for fuck’s sake. Catra’s pov.

“Come on, come on, don't leave me like this/ I thought I had you figured out/ Something's gone terribly wrong/ You're all I wanted/ Come on, come on, don't leave me like this/ I thought I had you figured out/ Can't breathe whenever you're gone/ Can't turn back now, I'm haunted”

“Stood there and watched you walk away/ From everything we had”

oh and a sad bonus. Catra’s pov from when she was Chipped:

“He will try to take away my pain/ And he just might make me smile/ But the whole time, I'm wishing it was you instead/ Oh, holding my breath/ Won't see you again/ Something keeps me holding onto nothing”

Last Kiss

I’m realizing with this list that Taylor is a Catra Kinnie(and she condones murder now, so great!). Catra’s pov.

“I still remember the look on your face/ Lit through the darkness at 1:58/ The words that you whispered/ For just us to know/ You told me you loved me/ So why did you go away?/ Away”

“All that I know is I don't know/ How to be something you miss/ I never thought we'd have a last kiss/ Never imagined we'd end like this”

Long Live

The very fortunate aftermath of the Heart of Etheria and the defeat of Horde Prime. anyone can be the narrator in this, but for me is Catra and Adora, together(but some Catra solos)(I’m such an Adora kinnie, but fuck if this isn’t dominated by my fav catgirl)

“I said: Remember this moment/ In the back of my mind/ The time we stood with our shaking hands/.../ The night you danced like you knew our lives/ Would never be the same/ You held your head like a hero/ On a history book page/ It was the end of a decade/ But the start of an age”

“Long live the walls we crashed through/ All the kingdom lights shined just for me and you/ I was screaming, long live all the magic we made/ And bring on all the pretenders/ One day, we will be remembered”

“And the cynics were outraged/ Screaming, "This is absurd"/ 'Cause for a moment, a band of thieves/ In ripped up jeans got to rule the world” (fourth wall breaking, catra is actually singing this to her haters)

“I'm not afraid/ Long live all the mountains we moved/ I had the time of my life fighting dragons with you/ I was screaming, long live that look on your face”

“Will you take a moment?/ Promise me this/ That you'll stand by me forever”

Ours

just a cute song, go listen to it and insert literally anyone in it.

From “Red”

Treacherous

i feel like it fits the vibe of the dynamic, but I don’t feel like expanding on it lol

All Too Well(because ofc)

I honestly don’t know who narrates this one. either Catra or Adora fit well, but I’m more inclined to say Adora but idk why. it’s just the vibe I’m getting.

“And I know it's long gone and/ There was nothing else I could do/ And I forget about you long enough/ To forget why I needed to” -> in this one i was like, Adora for sure

“Maybe we got lost in translation/ Maybe I asked for too much/ But maybe this thing was a masterpiece/ 'Til you tore it all up/ Running scared, I was there, I remember it all too well” -> But then this one came and I was like, well, depending on the pov, it fits both.

“And you call me up again just to break me like a promise/ So casually cruel in the name of being honest”(best lyrics c’mon) -> and the whole break me like a promise thingy made me think Catra’s pov, but then I guess you could also put it in Adora’s pov if you wanted to, so up to y’all.

I Almost Do

C’mon, Catra once again.

“And I just want to tell you/ It takes everything in me not to call you/ And I wish I could run to you/ And I hope you know that/ Every time I don’t/ I almost do, I almost do”

“I bet you think I either moved on or hate you/ ‘Cause each time you reach out, there’s no reply/ I bet it never, ever occurred to you/ That I can’t say hello to you/ And risk another goodbye”(kill me now, there’s still a lot of heartbreak for me to go through)

The Last Time

Catra’s pov, before she leaves Adora and has the little breakdown with Melog.

“This is the last time I'm asking you this/ Put my name at the top of your list/ This is the last time I'm asking you why/ You break my heart in the blink of an eye”

“Just like all those times before/ You wear your best apology/ But I was there to watch you leave/ And all the times I let you in/ Just for you to go again”

Everything has changed

baby Catra and baby Adora meeting and immediately clicking.(Tay is Adora and Ed is Catra for me, but as always, you do you.)

“I just wanna know you better/ Know you better, know you better now”

“'Cause all I know is we said, "Hello"/ And your eyes look like coming home/ All I know is a simple name/ Everything has changed/ All I know is you held the door/ You'll be mine and I'll be yours/ All I know since yesterday/ Is everything has changed”

“ And all my walls stood tall, painted blue/ And I'll take 'em down, take 'em down/ And open up the door for you”

Come back… be here

it talks about leaving and all, and the obvious choice is Catra, but Imma put it down as an Adora pov. for as much as I talk about Adora leaving Catra, Catra also left Adora. justified or not, their reasons, their motives or wtv is not what i’m here to talk about. I’m just stating that Adora asked catra to stay many times and catra didn’t. So the feelings of abandonment also fit Adora very well depending on the way it is weaved. Some are rly just plain Catra, tho. back to the song.

“And this is when the feeling sinks in/ I don't wanna miss you like this/ Come back, be here, come back, be here”

“And now that I can put this down/ If I had known what I know now/ I never would've played so nonchalant”

“This is falling in love in the cruelest way/ This is falling for you when you are worlds away”

“But you're in London, and I break down/ 'Cause it's not fair that you're not around”

From “1989”

Style

general catradora

“And when we go crashing down, we come back every time/ 'Cause we never go out of style, we never go out of style”

Out of the woods

general catradora

“We were built to fall apart/ Then fall back together”

All you had to do was stay

Catra’s pov. the line “picking up the pieces of the mess you made” just hits me where it stings, because I remember Catra trying to cover for Adora and then Adora not coming back and then having to deal with the wrath of Shadow weaver alone.

“Now, you say you want it back/ Now that it's just too late/ Well, could've been easy/ All you had to do was (Stay!)”

“Here you are now, calling me up/ But I don't know what to say/ I've been picking up the pieces/ Of the mess you made”

“Let me remind you/ This was what you wanted/ You ended it/ You were all I wanted “

I wish you would

Catra’s pov.

“Windows down, you pass my street, the memories start/ You say it's in the past, you drive straight ahead/ You're thinking that I hate you now/ 'Cause you still don't know what I never said/ I wish you would come back/ Wish I never hung up the phone like I did, I/ Wish you knew that/ I'd never forget you as long as I live, and I/ Wish you were right here, right now,/.../ I wish you would”

“We're a crooked love in a straight line down/ Makes you want to run and hide/ But it makes you turn right back around”

“You always knew how to push my buttons/ You give me everything and nothing”

Bad Blood(original version, not the remix)

Originally I thought, “oh this is Adora” but then I decided it was both of them together.

“’Cause baby, now we've got bad blood/ You know it used to be mad love/ So take a look what you've done/ ’Cause baby, now we've got bad blood, hey!/ Now we've got problems/ And I don't think we can solve 'em/ You made a really deep cut/ And baby, now we've got bad blood, hey!”

“Did you have to do this?/ I was thinking that you could be trusted/ Did you have to ruin what was shiny?/ Now it's all rusted/ Did you have to hit me where I'm weak?/ Baby, I couldn't breathe/ And rub it in so deep/ Salt in the wound like you're laughing right at me”

“Did you think we'd be fine?/ Still got scars in my back from your knives”(i really thought Adora here just cause of the literal scars in her back)

Wildest Dreams

if you want to headcanon a pre she-ra Catradora relationship, this song is really good. Since I’m trying( and def failing in many instances) to be as canon compliant as I can, I’ll skip it.

This Love

Catradora in the heart of etheria. could be both povs: either Catra holding Adora’s dying body and like “this love came back to me” or Adora prepared to die, dreaming about Catra, letting her love go, but in the end came back to her. for me, this is Adora’s, the whole song feels like her to me

“Currents swept you out again/ And you were just gone and gone, gone and gone” -> she’s fading, she’s being fully consumed now and the currents swept catra out from her.

“In silent screams and wildest dreams/ I never dreamed of this” -> she never allowed herself to dream that Catra would love her or that she wanted a future with Catra, but now she’s being faced with the loss of exactly that.

“This love is good, this love is bad/ This love is alive back from the dead/ These hands had to let it go free, and/ This love came back to me” -> their love is a very complicated thing, is not easy. they have a history of being enemies that tarnish it a bit and when it was too bad, they had to let it go. but the love came back to them in full force. alive back from the dead, literally and figuratively.

“Lantern, burning/ Flickered in my mind, only you/ But you were still gone, gone, gone”

“Been losing grip, on sinking ships/ You showed up just in time” -> adora dying, being saved in the most dramatic way possible.

“This love left a permanent mark/ This love is glowing in the dark” -> just the imagery, wow. and the antithesis of the mark of scars left by love and now the mark of it is the glowing.

“Your kiss, my cheek/ I watched you leave/ Your smile, my ghost/ I fell to my knees/ When you're young, you just run/ But you come back to what you need” -> finally reunited yay

I know places

Catradora in the Horde being super cute and hiding everywhere, just because.

“Something happens when everybody finds out/ See the vultures circling, dark clouds/ Love's a fragile little flame, it could burn out/ It could burn out”

“'Cause they got the cages, they got the boxes and guns/ They are the hunters, we are the foxes and we run”

“Baby, I know places we won't be found/ And they'll be chasing their tails trying to track us down/ 'Cause I, I know places we can hide/ They are the hunters, we are the foxes, and we run”

“Just grab my hand and don't ever drop it, my love”

From “Reputation” (Not expecting much from this one)

Delicate

Catradora being all cute and insecure after the end of the war and learning how to navigate their relationship, the old and the new. Catra’s pov, probably.

“This ain't for the best/ My reputation's never been worse, so/ You must like me for me/ We can't make/ Any promises now, can we, babe?/ Is it cool that I said all that?/ Is it chill that you're in my head?/ 'Cause I know that it's delicate (Delicate)/ Is it cool that I said all that?/ Is it too soon to do this yet?”

Gorgeous

so, i think this song is extremely cute and would fit very well in many various au’s, even some of mine, so I’m just leaving it out here, check it out if you haven’t, but won’t expand on it.

Dress(I was pleasantly surprised bout this one)

Catra’s pov.

“All of this silence and patience, pining and anticipation/ My hands are shaking from holding back from you/ All of this silence and patience, pining and desperately waiting/ My hands are shaking from all this”

“Say my name and everything just stops/ I don't want you like a best friend/ Only bought this dress so you could take it off/ Take it/ Carve your name into my bedpost/ ’Cause I don't want you like a best friend/ Only bought this dress so you could take it off/ Even in my worst times, you could see the best in me/ Flashback to my mistakes/ My rebounds, my earthquakes/ Even in my worst lies, you saw the truth in me/ And I woke up just in time/ Now I wake up by your side”

New Year’s Day

Another super sweet song that doesn’t exactly fit in the canon compliant list, but that I definitely use in my future Catradora headcanon, so I’ll just put in a few lyrics.

“There's glitter on the floor after the party/.../You and me from the night before, but/ Don’t read the last page/ But I stay when you're lost and I'm scared and you’re turning away/ I want your midnights/ But I'll be cleaning up bottles with you on New Year's Day”

“But I stay when it’s hard or it’s wrong or we're making mistakes”

“You and me forevermore”

From “Lover”(this album is so sweet fuuuuck)

Lover

the whole song. just, future catradora. Adora’s pov tho because this is such a dorkish in love song and that bit about “You’ll save all of your dirtiest jokes for me”, Adora saying this to Catra. that’s it

Paper Rings

future again. this whole album might be just me fantasizing about their future, who knows.

“Cat and mouse for a month or two or three/ Now I wake up in the night and watch you breathe/ Darling, you're the one I want, and/ I hate accidents except when we went from friends to this/ Uh huh, that's right/ Darling, you're the one I want/ In paper rings, in picture frames, in dirty dreams/ Oh, you're the one I want”

Death By A Thousand Cuts

I forgot this song and I’m adding it now at the last minute. extremely tired. not gonna paste the song here. but go listen, it’s really fitting for catradora.

“saying goodbye is death by a thousand cuts”

Afterglow

this is one I didn’t want to put in here, just because of a few lines specifically, but it made me think of Catra’s apology, so here it goes. (the parts “it’s all in my head” and “It’s all me” that bug me so, but we’ll pretend they don’t exist)

“I pinned your hands behind your back, oh/ Thought I had reason to attack, but no”

“Fighting with a true love is boxing with no gloves/ Chemistry 'til it blows up, 'til there’s no us/ Why'd I have to break what I love so much?/ Sorry that I hurt you/ I don't wanna do, I don’t wanna do this to you “

From “Folklore”

OKay, so now that we got here, we’re gonna get a bit creative and take everything with a grain of salt(more than we’ve already been doing) cause I doubt we’re gonna manage to be canon compliant in every one(this includes evermore too, I’m about to go off in these two albums), but everything just oozes catradora, so bear with me. and if you made it this far, damn you’re hot.

The 1

Adora’s pov. before they actually got together.

“I'm doing good, I'm on some new shit/ Been saying "yes" instead of "no" -> her new life in Brightmoon and all her new good experiences.

“And if you never bleed, you're never gonna grow” -> such an Adora thing to say.

“But we were something, don't you think so?/ Roaring twenties, tossing pennies in the pool/ And if my wishes came true/ It would've been you/ In my defense, I have none/ For never leaving well enough alone/ But it would've been fun/ If you would've been the one” -> the longing, the yearning

“And it's another day waking up alone“ -> :(

“I persist and resist the temptation to ask you/ If one thing had been different/ Would everything be different today?”

Cardigan

Catra’s pov.

“And when I felt like I was an old cardigan/ Under someone's bed/ You put me on and said I was your favorite”

“A friend to all is a friend to none/ Chase two girls, lose the one/ You drew stars around my scars/ But now I'm bleedin'”

“But I knew you'd linger like a tattoo kiss/ I knew you'd haunt all of my what-ifs/ The smell of smoke would hang around this long/ 'Cause I knew everything when I was young/ I knew I'd curse you for the longest time/ Chasin' shadows in the grocery line/ I knew you'd miss me once the thrill expired/ And you'd be standin' in my front porch light/ And I knew you'd come back to me”

Exile

now rlyyy bear with me. It gets confusing. And big. It's the whole song too.

Bon iver's verse + Swift's chorus is Catra seeing adora move on so quickly and leaving Adora behind.

Swift's verse + Bon Iver's chorus is Adora's pov. And then they merge in the bridge to air their grievances. I'll demonstrate below.

“I can see you standing, honey/ With his arms around your body/ Laughin', but the joke's not funny at all/ And it took you five whole minutes/ To pack us up and leave me with it/ Holdin' all this love out here in the hall” + “I think I've seen this film before/ And I didn't like the ending/ I'm not your problem anymore/ So who am I offending now?/ You were my crown, now I'm in exile, seein' you out/ I think I've seen this film before/ So I'm leaving out the side door = Catra’s pov

“I can see you starin', honey/ Like he's just your understudy/ Like you'd get your knuckles bloody for me/ Second, third, and hundredth chances/ Balancin' on breaking branches/ Those eyes add insult to injury” + “I think I've seen this film before/ And I didn't like the ending/ You're not my homeland anymore/ So what am I defending now?/ You were my town, now I'm in exile, seein' you out/ I think I've seen this film before = Adora’s pov

and then the bridge with both.(it’s one hell of a giant bridge, not gonna paste it here lol)

My tears ricochet

This one i see as a conversation, one that I'll again exemplify lol.

“And if I'm on fire, you'll be made of ashes, too/ Even on my worst day, did I deserve, babe/ All the hell you gave me?/ 'Cause I loved you, I swear I loved you/ 'Til my dying day” -> both of them

“I didn't have it in myself to go with grace/ And you're the hero flying around, saving face” ->Catra

“And if I'm dead to you, why are you at the wake?/ Cursing my name, wishing I stayed” -> Adora

“Look at how my tears ricochet” -> both

“I didn't have it in myself to go with grace/ 'Cause when I'd fight, you used to tell me I was brave” -> Adora

“And if I'm dead to you, why are you at the wake?/ Cursing my name, wishing I stayed” -> Catra

“Look at how my tears ricochet” -> both

“And I can go anywhere I want/ Anywhere I want, just not home/ And you can aim for my heart, go for blood/ But you would still miss me in your bones/ And I still talk to you (When I'm screaming at the sky)/ And when you can't sleep at night (You hear my stolen lullabies)” -> both

“You had to kill me, but it killed you just the same/ Cursing my name, wishing I stayed” -> both

“You turned into your worst fears/ And you're tossing out blame, drunk on this pain” - > Adora

“Crossing out the good years” ->both.

I could honestly make a whole post about this song and Catradora, dissecting lyric by lyric, I even have an animatic for this song thumbnailed, so I’ll jump to the next one before it gets too out of hand. again y’all can ask me anytime if you want to know more.

Mirrorball

Adora and her self sacrificial bs and not being rly her so she can be what everyone expects *from* her. Make me cry more, why don’t you!

“I'm a mirrorball/ I'll show you every version of yourself tonight/ I'll get you out on the floor/ Shimmering beautiful/ And when I break, it's in a million pieces”

“Hush, when no one is around, my dear/ You'll find me on my tallest tiptoes/ Spinning in my highest heels, love/ Shining just for you”

“Hush, I know they said the end is near/ I can change everything about me to fit in/ I'm still on that tightrope/ I'm still trying everything to get you laughing at me/ And I'm still a believer, but I don't know why/ I've never been a natural, all I do is try, try, try/ I'm still on that trapeze/ I'm still trying everything to keep you looking at me”

Seven

Baby Adora to baby Catra.

“And I've been meaning to tell you/ I think your house is haunted/ Your dad is always mad and that must be why/ And I think you should come live with me/ And we can be pirates/ Then you won't have to cry/ Or hide in the closet/ And just like a folk song/ Our love will be passed on”

August

older teen/adult Catra reminiscing about younger teen Catra dealing with her love for Adora. Probably the last August before Adora joined the rebellion. (ignoring the love triangle ofc)

“But I can see us lost in the memory/ August slipped away into a moment in time/ 'Cause it was never mine/ And I can see us twisted in bedsheets/ August sipped away like a bottle of wine/ 'Cause you were never mine”

“I remember thinkin' I had you/ Back when we were still changin' for the better/ Wanting was enough/ For me, it was enough/ To live for the hope of it all/ Cancel plans just in case you'd call/ And say, "Meet me behind the mall"/ So much for summer love and saying "us"/ 'Cause you weren't mine to lose”

This is me trying

Catra's pov/redemption

“I've been having a hard time adjusting/ I didn't know if you'd care if I came back/ I have a lot of regrets about that/ Pulled the car off the road to the lookout/ Could've followed my fears all the way down/ And maybe I don't quite know what to say/ But I'm here in your doorway/ I just wanted you to know that this is me trying/ And it's hard to be at a party when I feel like an open wound/ It's hard to be anywhere these days when all I want is you/ You're a flashback in a film reel”

Illicit affairs

Just leaving it out here cause it is so gayyy. And I'll prob write an au for this once I'm through with my five thousand WIPs.

Invisible string

Just the feeling of the song, not exactly catradora specific. More generic.

“Time, curious time/ Gave me no compasses, gave me no signs/ Were there clues I didn't see?/ And isn't it just so pretty to think/ All along there was some/ Invisible string/ Tying you to me?/ Time, mystical time/ Cutting me open, then healing me fine”

Mad woman

Catra's pov S1

“Every time you call me crazy, I get more crazy/ What about that?/ And when you say I seem angry, I get more angry/ And there's nothing like a mad woman/ What a shame she went mad/ No one likes a mad woman/ You made her like that/ And you'll poke that bear 'til her claws come out”

Epiphany

Adora dying in catra's arms and dreaming about her future with catra.

“"Sir, I think he's bleeding out"/ And some things you just can't speak about/ With you I serve, with you I fall down, down/ Watch you breathe in, watch you breathing out, out/ Only twenty minutes to sleep/ But you dream of some epiphany/ Just one single glimpse of relief/ To make some sense of what you've seen”

Betty

Another case of a song with STRONG catradora vibe, but too au- ish. The imagery of the song is too clear. Still, these parts here…

“The worst thing that I ever did/ Was what I did to you/ I'm only seventeen, I don't know anything/ But I know I miss you/ Yeah, I showed up at your party/ Will you have me? Will you love me?/ Will you kiss me on the porch/ In front of all your stupid friends”

Peace

adora's pov. I think is Adora kinda warning Catra that she can’t promise to stop saving the world, she can’t stop being she-ra, it is who she is and danger is going to follow her, so, is it enough if she can never give Catra peace?

“I never had the courage of my convictions/ As long as danger is near/ And it's just around the corner, darlin'/ 'Cause it lives in me/ No, I could never give you peace”

“All these people think love's for show/ But I would die for you in secret��

“The devil's in the details, but you got a friend in me/ Would it be enough if I could never give you peace?”

From "evermore"(FUCKING FINALLY and everything is going to be au-ish I guess)

Champagne problems

Adora's pov, but i resent this cause THEIR PROBLEMS ARE NOT CHAMPAGNE PROBLEMS OKAY? but nevertheless, It’s adora leaving Catra behind and breaking my heart in the fucking process.

“You booked the night train for a reason/ So you could sit there in this hurt”

“Because I dropped your hand while dancing/ Left you out there standing/ Crestfallen on the landing/.../ Your heart was glass, I dropped it”

“You had a speech, you're speechless/ Love slipped beyond your reaches/ And I couldn't give a reason”

How evergreen, our group of friends/ Don't think we'll say that word again/.../ I never was ready so I watch you go/ Sometimes you just don't know the answer/ 'Til someone's on their knees and asks you”

Gold rush

Catra's pov pining over Adora before and after she became She-ra, but especially after with the bit “I don’t like that everyone would die to feel your touch”. After all the pining and imagining what a perfect relationship they could have she wakes up to reality and sees that “it could never be”, “It will never be”.

“Gleaming, twinkling/ Eyes like sinking ships on waters/ So inviting, I almost jump in”

“I don't like anticipatin' my face in a red flush/ I don't like that anyone would die to feel your touch/ Everybody wants you/ Everybody wonders what it would be like to love you”

“What must it be like to grow up that beautiful?/ With your hair falling into place like dominoes”

“At dinner parties, I call you out on your contrarian shit/ And the coastal town we wandered 'round had nеver seen a love as pure as it”

“My mind turns your life into folklore/ I can't dare to dream about you anymore”

“'Cause it will never be”

‘Tis the damn season

Adora’s pov. Adora being the one who left because she has to, but she misses Catra and their old times together. However, she knows she won’t be able to stay so she’s asking for this weekend and breaking her own heart in the process.

“There's an ache in you, put there by the ache in me/ But if it's all the same to you/ It's the same to me”

“So we could call it even/ You could call me "babe" for the weekend/ 'Tis the damn season, write this down/ And the road not taken looks real good now/ And it always leads to you and my hometown”

“You can run, but only so far/ I escaped it too, remember how you watched me leave/ But if it's okay with you, it's okay with me/ Sleep in half the day just for old times' sake/ I won't ask you to wait if you don't ask me to stay/ So I'll go back to L.A. and the so-called friends/ And wonder about the only soul/ Who can tell which smiles I'm fakin'”

“And the heart I know I'm breakin' is my own/ To leave the warmest bed I've ever known/ We could call it even/ Even though I'm leaving/ And I'll be yours for the weekend”

Tolerate it

Catra’s pov and how she thinks Adora feels towards her. How she only tolerated Catra until something bigger, better and shinier came along and she abandoned her.(what to expect from a track five, huh?)

“While you were out building other worlds, where was I?/ Where's that man who'd throw blankets over my barbed wire?/ I made you my temple, my mural, my sky/Now I'm begging for footnotes in the story of your life/ Drawing hearts in the byline/ Always taking up too much space or time”

“You assume I'm fine, but what would you do if I/ Break free and leave us in ruins/ Took this dagger in me and removed it/ Gain the weight of you then lose it/ Believe me, I could do it”

“If it's all in my head tell me now/ Tell me I've got it wrong somehow/ I know my love should be celebrated/ But you tolerate it”

Happiness

adora’s pov. I feel this is Adora letting Catra go after season 3. just, she loves Catra and there were many great moments because of her, but that doesn’t mean the hurt isn’t there now. also doesn’t mean she’ll be forever miserable, proved by her new life in Brightmoon. It’s her realizing that Catra is actually hurting her, and being angry and then letting go.(god this reminds me of a fanfic where catra stated that she was happy without Adora, could be happy without Adora. But with her, she could be happier)

“There'll be happiness after you/ But there was happiness because of you/ Both of these things can be true/ Past the blood and bruise/ Past the curses and cries/ Beyond the terror in the nightfall/ Haunted by the look in my eyes/ That would've loved you for a lifetime/ Leave it all behind/ And there is happiness”

“Tell me, when did your winning smile/ Begin to look like a smirk?/ When did all our lessons start to look like weapons/ Pointed at my deepest hurt?”

“I can't make it go away by making you a villain/ I guess it's the price I paid for seven years in Heaven/ And I pulled your body into mine/ Every goddamn night, now I get fake niceties/ No one teaches you what to do/ When a good man hurts you/ And you know you hurt him, too” -> this whole bridge, man. THIS RIGHT HERE. They both hurt each other, there’s no simple clean cut way to look at things, to make Catra the big bad villain. but that also doesn’t erase the pain felt, so argh, this kills me.

“All you want from me now is the green light of forgiveness/ You haven't met the new me yet/ And I think she'll give you that” -> and this little hint of hope.

Dorothea(i swear, i will write a Dorothea/tis the damn season au)

Adora is dorothea and this is Catra’s pov

“Hey, Dorothea, do you ever stop and think about me?/ When we were younger down in the park/ Honey, making a lark of the misery”

“You got shiny friends since you left town/ A tiny screen's the only place I see you now”

“It's never too late to come back to my side/ The stars in your eyes shined brighter in Tupelo/ And if you're ever tired of bеing known for who you know/ You know that you'll always know me, Dorothea (Uh-uh)/Dorothea”

coney island

again, both povs. one to each other, illustrated below.

“Did I close my fist around something delicate?/ Did I shatter you?/ And I'm sitting on a bench in Coney Island/ Wondering where did my baby go?/ The fast times, the bright lights, the merry go/ Sorry for not making you my centerfold” -> adora

“Over and over/ Lost again with no surprises/ Disappointments, close your eyes/ And it gets colder and colder/ When the sun goes down” -> both

“The question pounds my head/ What's a lifetime of achievement/ If I pushed you to the edge?” -> catra

“Were you waiting at our old spot/ In the tree line/ By the gold clock/ Did I leave you hanging every single day?” -> adora

“Did I paint your bluest skies the darkest grey?” -> Catra

“And when I got into the accident/ The sight that flashed before me was your face” -> Adora

“Sorry for not making you my centerfold” -both

Ivy (hold on tight, this is big)

this is a good one.

“How's one to know?/ I'd meet you where the spirit meets the bones/ In a faith forgotten land/ In from the snow/ Your touch brought forth an incandescent glow/ Tarnished but so grand”

“And the old widow goes to the stone every day/ But I don't, I just sit here and wait/ Grieving for the living”

“Oh, goddamn/ My pain fits in the palm of your freezing hand/ Taking mine, but it's been promised to another/ Oh, I can't/ Stop you putting roots in my dreamland/ My house of stone, your ivy grows/ And now I'm covered in you so” -> for me, this is Adora in the moments preceding the failsafe and the Heart of Etheria, and the person she’s committed to is She-ra(and dying as she-ra). And she’s trying to fight and be strong to make the sacrifice she knows she’ll be asked to, but she simply can’t stop Catra from “putting roots in her dreamland”. Catra’s touch enlightened her, even though tarnished by their years of being enemies, it felt grand and it could chase the pain away; just for a moment, all her pain fit in Catra’s hand. But, she grieves for this touch for she knows it’s only a dream. Even though she’s now “covered” in Catra, she’ll never be able to fully have her, not when she’s so committed to She-ra.

“I wish to know/ The fatal flaw that makes you long to be/ Magnificently cursed/ He's in the room/ Your opal eyes are all I wish to see/ He wants what's only yours” -> now here she’s in the heart of etheria and wondering why would Catra want her so much when she knows she can’t have her, when she knows she’s doomed. the He in this is Horde Prime. As we see in the “future hallucination”, all she wants is Catra and he wants(to destroy ofc) what’s Catra’s only - herself.

“How's one to know?/ I'd live and die for moments that we stole/On begged and borrowed time/ So tell me to run/ Or dare to sit and watch what we'll become -> Adora know it’s only borrowed time, it will end and she feels like there’s nothing she can do about that.

“So yeah, it's a fire/ It's a goddamn blaze in the dark/ And you started it/ You started it/ So yeah, it's a war/ It's the goddamn fight of my life/ And you started it/ You started it” -> here Adora is finally fighting back against Destiny, Prime, The Heart… and it’s all because Catra started it just by loving Adora, covering her in her ivy and making Adora so unable to not love her back.

(can you tell this is one of my favorite songs in the album?)

long story short

honestly, post-war catradora. Adora’s pov.

“Fatefully/ I tried to pick my battles 'til the battle picked me/ Misery/ Like the war of words I shouted in my sleep/ And you passed right by/ I was in the alley, surrounded on all sides/ The knife cuts both ways/ If the shoe fits, walk in it 'til your high heels break”

“When I dropped my sword/ I threw it in the bushes and knocked on your door/ And we live in peace/ But if someone comes at us, this time, I'm ready/ No more keepin' score/ Now I just keep you warm (Keep you warm)/ No more tug of war Now I just know there's more”

“And I fell from the pedestal/ Right down the rabbit hole/ Long story short, it was a bad time/ Pushed from the precipice/ Climbed right back up the cliff/ Long story short, I survived”

closure

catra to adora pre season 5

“it's been a long time/ And seeing the shape of your name/ Still spells out pain/ It wasn't right/ The way it all went down/ Looks like you know that now”

“Yes, I got your letter/ Yes, I'm doing better/ It cut deep to know ya, right to the bone/ I know that it's over, I don't need your/ Closure, your closure”

“Don't treat me like/ Some situation that needs to be handled/ I'm fine with my spite/ I know I'm just a wrinkle in your new life/ Staying friends would iron it out so nice/ Guilty, guilty, reaching out across the sea/ That you put between you and me/ But it's fake and it's oh so unnecessary”

Evermore

just the message in general i think fits season 5 catradora very well. how, yeah, the pain sucks and it’s terrible but it won’t be for evermore. Justin’s bridge exemplify very well just the desperation of being in the middle of this whirlwind of pain, begging for a pause just to see if there’s any way to be recovered from that. it just so happens, there is.

no exemples in this one, the vibe of speaks for itself and I’m rly tired right now.

...

oof, so there was it. Hope you liked it! show me some love cause this took a while lol(but a got my TS marathon done without feeling guilty, because at least… content? so there’s that). if you made it this far, THANK YOU!! stream evermore and good night y’all(or morning or afternoon, wtv works for your timezone lol)

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bolinshipskorrasami · 4 years

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nonono, please continue

So... I’m assuming this ask is referring to my OP about Catra’s love language being Quality Time and Adora’s being Acts of Service? Well you and @hatzilla requested this, so here you go... sorry it got a bit long...

I wanna start by clarifying that people have a Love Language they use to express love and people also have a language they most readily receive. These two aspects are not always the same. My OP is about how Catra and Adora express their love, rather than how they receive it, so I will stick mostly to that.

Catra & Quality Time

Let’s first look at some things Catra has said to Adora throughout the series:

“Because you left me.”

“This is what you left me for?”

“Shadow Weaver left me for you?”

“We used to have those… sleep overs, me and Adora.” (to Glimmer)

“Adora wait… please… stay.”

“Of course I’m coming with you, dummy.”

For Catra, I think it’s pretty straight forward that she is Quality Time in both how she expresses and receives love. I want to acknowledge this is closely tied with Physical Touch, as someone else’s post pointed out – but while she is super affectionate/touchy with Adora, I think the quality time together weighs more heavily in her mind given how much she talks about Adora staying or going.

Catra’s whole arc started off and revolved around being PRETTY upset when Adora runs off to join the Rebellion. Additionally, anytime Adora was spending time with someone else – Lonnie when they were kids, Glimmer and Bow when they were older – Catra felt deeply hurt and well, jealous. Yes, this can be tied up with her abandonment issues and feeling second best, sure. But note that the specific trigger is Adora spending time with someone else. Time with Adora means a lot to Catra. They are shown being pretty much attached at the hip throughout their lives. They have a rooftop place where they just, hang out looking at the sky/ Fright Zone for crying out loud!

She goes to Princess Prom – she did not have to do that to accomplish her goals, but she wanted to see Adora. She wants to spend time with Adora, even when she’s mad, even when things are at their most confusing or tense between the two of them, Catra can’t give up the chance to see her and be in the same room as her. She also just, wants Adora’s attention – she constantly taunts her throughout the night and Catra revels in it, even if the attention isn’t positive. See also – the time she captures Adora after corrupting her, in an attempt to turn her into a “Horde Weapon” to use against the Rebellion.

I always see people talking about all the times Catra tried to “kill” the best friend squad but honestly, Catra had plenty of opportunities to eliminate any of them. Largely, her tactics have always included separating them or taking Adora back to the Hoard. She was constantly trying to bring Adora back to her – albeit in very unhealthy and damaging ways.

And of course, all of Season 5, she barely leaves Adora’s side once she’s rescued. She even comes out to spend time with the Best Friend Squad, despite you know, the awkwardness. It’s a show of love to Adora, and an attempt to show she can change the way she expresses that love. Because Quality Time doesn’t mean you can’t include other people.

Come to think of it, Catra’s whole love language makes sense if you know anything about cats – they say the biggest way cats show they love you is by being in the same room with you while you’re doing things.

Adora & Acts of Service

Now Adora’s Acts of Service – or as my partner and I like to say, the “Do-ers” - is much harder to pin point, but again, let’s start with some things she’s said:

“We can fix this.”

“I have to do this.”

“I’m going to take you home.”

“I keep checking on her. Do you think I should go check on her again? But what if she wakes up and needs something? I’m just gonna go check on her…”

Notice Adora is always saying what she’s going to do for a person. For Adora, feelings = actions. When growing up under Shadow Weaver, she is obedient and does everything asked of her. She fights for her home Etheria, which she loves. She protects Catra, Bow, Glimmer – I mean, everybody really, in various ways. When Catra gets bummed out about Adora getting promoted to Force Captain and going to the front lines without her, she goes and steals a ship and takes Catra out for a ride. She runs to Light Hope in an attempt to learn more about She-Ra’s powers in order to heal Glimmer when she is glitching.

I think Adora says it best when she tells Glimmer “I’m more the punch-out-my-feelings kinda guy.” She isn’t the best at talking things out – I think largely because she isn’t terribly in touch with her own feelings, desires, etc. But she CAN anticipate other people’s needs and wants and act on them! She’s also all about those grand gestures (sacrificing yourself for the people you love? That’s definitely an Act of Service, even if not the most ideal approach there, Adora.)

To bring it all back together, if Catra is just looking to spend quality time together and never leave each other’s side while Adora is running around trying to show how much she cares in various ways, they are going to miss the mark when it comes to each other’s feelings. Catra is all “honey, come to bed and let’s talk and cuddle” and Adora is all “Ok babe, just a sec, I gotta fix the sink and change your oil, and-” well you get the point, I hope.

You can see growth for both of them here, of course. When Shadow Weaver comes back in S5 and upsets Catra, Adora goes after her and uses a combo of words of affirmation and physical touch to coax her back in, instead of charging ahead without her. She also goes after her when she leaves in the middle of the night. Catra, to her credit, spends time with the Best Friend Squad. She makes room for Adora’s other friends in their lives. And even agrees to a space road trip with them. She also stays while Adora Does the Thing. It’s cool to see the ways in which they have made room for each other’s wants and needs in the final season. And I think they will continue to do so <3

#catradora #otp:stay #meta #ask

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sevens-evan · 4 years

Note

Clothes. Catradora.

“You ready to go?” Catra calls over her shoulder. She straightens her tie and gives herself one last once-over in the mirror. After a moment of Adora not answering, Catra turns around.

Adora is standing in front of the second full length mirror in their room, frowning at her reflection. Catra doesn’t know what she’s upset about. She looks beautiful. Her dress is similar in cut to the one she wore to Princess Prom during the war, but it’s white instead of red. Her hair is down for once. Catra can’t spot a single thing wrong with her outfit.

“Hey,” Catra says, stepping up behind Adora. “You okay?”

“...Yeah.” Adora meets Catra’s gaze in the mirror, still frowning. “I think I’m ready to go.”

“No you’re not,” Catra says, shaking her head. “You don’t look happy. What’s going on?” Adora almost smiles.

“You know me too well,” she mutters, then sighs. “I don’t know. I don’t...feel like me, I guess. Wearing this.”

“The dress?” Catra asks. She glances in the mirror again, looking for whatever it is that Adora is seeing. “What’s wrong with it?”

“I don’t know.” Adora tugs at the fabric with one hand. “It’s a dress.”

“...You don’t like dresses?” Catra didn’t know that. There weren’t really fancy clothes of any kind for Horde cadets, but Adora had worn a dress to Princess Prom, and She-Ra’s old outfit had a skirt. Catra had assumed Adora liked them, or at least didn’t mind them.

But Adora looks really, really uncomfortable.

“No,” Adora says. “I don’t think I do.” She sighs and turns around, facing Catra. “I promised Glimmer I would wear this, though. She wants us all to coordinate.”

“Okay, but I don’t think Glimmer wants you to go have a terrible time for the sake of coordinated outfits,” Catra says. “Just wear something else.”

“We don’t exactly have a lot of tailored suits lying around,” Adora points out. Catra pauses. That is a problem, actually.

“You remember when you used to be able to turn your sword into whatever you wanted?” she asks. Adora frowns at her, but nods. “Can you still do that? Just magic things out of nowhere?”

“I...think so,” Adora says.

“So make yourself a suit,” Catra says. “You can even stick with the white and gold color scheme.” She grins. “Problem solved.”

“Okay,” Adora says. “We can give it a try.” She turns, offering Catra the ties that hold the dress closed at the back. Catra makes quick work of them, and Adora steps out of the dress. Catra picks it up and walks across the room to hang it up, giving Adora a little space to work.

When she turns around, Adora is glowing. Catra watches from a distance, squinting against the light, and after a long few moments, it fades.

Adora is wearing a three piece suit now, white with gold thread, no tie. She tilts her head at herself in the mirror curiously, then narrows her eyes. In a flash of light, her jacket vanishes, leaving her in a shirt, vest, and pants, with a tie tucked into the vest.

She kind of looks like a waiter, but Catra decides to keep that to herself. She wanders back across the room to where Adora is smiling now, looking at herself in the mirror. Catra slips her arms around Adora’s waist from behind and presses a kiss to the back of her shoulder.

“Better?” she asks, propping her chin on Adora’s shoulder.

“Great,” Adora says. “I look—like me.” Catra doesn’t really get it, to be honest. Adora looked just as Adora in the dress as she does now. But she looks a lot more comfortable, now, and that’s what matters.

“You look very handsome,” Catra says. Adora smiles at her in the mirror. “Should we go surprise Glimmer?”

“Sounds good.” Adora turns in Catra’s arms and presses a quick kiss to her lips. “Thank you.”

“I didn’t do anything,” Catra says, reluctantly letting go of Adora. “You’re the magic princess.”

#catradora #catra #adora #spop #my fics #fic: catradora #adora explores her gender presentation: the fic #anon #answered

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kittyprincessofcats · 3 years

Note

I love both shows (Spop and Su) but I wanted to ask about some things you’ve said:

“Can’t believe “It’s okay for fans to be disappointed when oppressive dictators who’ve murdered millions and have tried to kill the protagonists before get forgiven without having to face consequences” is a so hard to understand for some people, but here we are”

“So did Steven Univerae end with the Diamonds in prison where they should be, or did I do well to stop watching when I did?”

With that logic can’t the very same thing be said and applied to She ra regarding Catra?

“So did She ra end with Catra in prison where she should be, or did I do well to stop watching when I did?”

Hi there. First of all, I want to say sorry for taking so long answer this. January’s been a very busy month for me and I literally just didn’t have the time to write the kind of reply I think this ask deserves.

Next, I want to make a few things clear just so we’re on the same page:

I love both shows as well and nothing I’m about to say is intended to be seen as hate against Steven Universe. SU meant a lot to me and I was a big fan of it for many years. Change Your Mind disappointed me a lot as an episode and as a finale, precisely because I didn’t want the Diamonds to get any sort of redemption, but just because it was a dealbreaker for *me*, that doesn’t mean I harbor any ill feelings towards the fans or writers of the show. None of this is meant to be a personal attack against anyone who worked on this show or likes it.

I stopped watching SU after CYM, so this post will ignore anything beyond that. I have not seen the SU movie or Steven Universe Future and I don’t intend to. Please don’t try to convince me otherwise. I’m not comfortable watching more.

I wrote the posts you quoted because I got quite a few rude messages after I said I didn’t like Change Your Mind and that I don’t want to keep watching SU. The first one was a response to people who were giving me a hard time for not liking the Diamond redemption – it wasn’t me saying that /no one/ should like it, just that my feelings on it were valid as well and people shouldn’t badger me about it.

In that sense, YES you could say the same thing about Catra! If someone wanted to stop watching SPOP because Catra’s redemption made them uncomfortable (maybe because they knew someone like her in real life or something similar), that’d be absolutely fine! I’d never send them the kind of messages I got or try to pressure them into continuing a show they’re not comfortable continuing. Because respecting real people is more important than a show or a fictional character.

I’ll be honest: I’m a little tired of justifying my feelings about the SU finale to people. But I believe you’re asking out of genuine curiosity and I haven’t made too many posts defending Catra yet, so I’ll try to analyze this step by step for you – and anyone else who might be curious.

So, without further ado: Here’s my essay on why Catra’s redemption works for me but the Diamonds’ doesn’t.

Short explanation: Because if you compare the scale of their actions, their motivations, what’s supposed to make them sympathetic to the audience, their build-up, and how their respective redemptions are handled, then the Diamonds aren’t an equivalent to Catra – they’re an equivalent to Horde Prime. And if SPOP had suddenly redeemed Horde Prime at the last minute after building him up as the big bad, I wouldn’t have liked that either.

Long (very long) explanation under the cut

Okay, let’s get into this in detail.

1. The scale of their actions

Let’s look at the evil stuff these characters have done first.

The Diamonds: Created an intergalactic empire, conquered millions of planets (destroying all life of them in the process) for millions of years, created a strict caste system in which all gems only have one function to follow and where Pearls are essentially slaves who have to obey every order, persecute and send shattering robonoids after gems that don’t fit into the system or fuse outside of their caste (off-colors), created a human zoo and kidnapped people for it, shattered anyone who wasn’t loyal to them, bubbled all the Rose Quartzes, created the Cluster and the other fusion experiments out of the shards of their fallen enemies (essentially torturing them for all eternity), corrupted all the gems on Earth, including those that were loyal to them. And that’s just what we get told upfront in the show. We’re talking about intergalactic dictators with no respect for life who will ruthlessly kill anyone who gets in their way.

Catra: Helped Hordak conquer one (1) planet. Bad, yes – but not nearly on the same scale as devoting eons to conquering entire galaxies. Also, Catra isn’t the one who founded the Horde in the first place; she just happened to grow up there (likely because she was taken from her real home as a baby) and was raised with their ideals. The Diamonds, on the other hand *are* the people who started their empire.

So yeah, the Diamonds aren’t Catra – they’re Horde Prime. He’s the one who founded the intergalactic Horde and destroyed millions of planets. (There’s even a whole parallel about how both Horde Prime and White Diamond think they’re perfect and everyone should be like them…)

Now, you could argue that Catra opening the portal was a crime on a larger scale. But even that would have likely only destroyed Etheria – one planet, not millions. The scale we’re talking about is still way smaller than Horde Prime’s or the Diamonds’ actions.

Catra’s other “crimes” in the show are things like being a toxic friend, manipulating and lying to people. Those are things I’m going to ignore for this post, since you specifically asked if Catra shouldn’t be in prison for her crimes. Being a toxic friend is bad and all, but it’s not actually something illegal that you can get thrown in jail for, so it’s irrelevant for this discussion. And it still wouldn’t be on the scale of the Diamonds, who, let me repeat, have destroyed countless galaxies.

2. Motivations for their actions

“But what about *why* they did all of those things? Isn’t that relevant?” It is, and I’m glad you asked. Let’s have a look.

Catra: Catra grew up in the Horde through no fault of her own and was mistreated and abused her whole life to the point where survival and safety became her primary motivations. She was treated as second best to Adora, filling her with a desire to prove herself. She got told as a child that she’s only worth “keeping around” if Adora values her, so she tied her self-worth to Adora’s approval. She feels betrayed when Adora leaves the Horde, because she interprets it as Adora caring more about strangers than about her. She stays with the Horde because they’re the devil she knows, because she wants to prove herself and because she’s hurt about the only person who ever showed her kindness leaving her. She grew up without a proper parental figure and without ever learning what healthy relationships are supposed to work like, so it’s understandable why she has no concept of it. She opens the portal because she sees her abuser working with (and seemingly being accepted by) her enemies and that knowledge makes her feel powerless to the point where she’d do anything to get back at them. She’s been abused and victimized her entire life and all of her actions are a direct result of that. Catra thinks that if she gains enough power, it’ll finally give her the safety and approval she craves.

In general, Catra’s story always makes it clear that she’s a victim of physical and emotional abuse who never learned what healthy relationships are supposed to look like and who’s lashing out in the only way she knows how. Some people might disagree on this, but I personally never had a point in the show where I couldn’t relate to her or couldn’t understand why she’s doing a certain thing. SPOP did a brilliant job of making sure that even at her lowest point, Catra’s actions are still understandable when you think from her point of view.

The Diamonds: … Uhm yeah, I’m drawing a blank here. Unless there’s some explanation in the movie or SU Future, we never actually learn why they did any of what they did. We get an explanation for some of their deeds – that they created the zoo because they thought Pink wanted it, that they corrupted the gems as revenge for Pink’s supposed death – but what the show never goes into is the real problem: Why they’re dictators in the first place. Why they consider themselves superior to other gems. Why they shatter anyone who doesn’t fit it, etc. They’re just dictators… because they’re dictators. We never get to understand their motivations.

And just to be clear – I think that in itself is perfectly fine. I don’t think SU should have had to give us any more explanation than that. SPOP also never explains why Horde Prime conquers other planets in the first place. He just does it because he’s evil and power-hungry and the show needs an antagonist. I think not giving a villain a deeper motivation is fine – if you’re not planning to redeem them.

3. What makes them sympathetic

Catra: I pretty much explained this already. We’re told from season 1 that Catra was abused by Shadow Weaver, that Adora was the only person who cared about her, that she was always treated like she was second-best. Heck, there’s an entire backstory episode just about everything Catra’s been through. We’re meant to feel bad for her, even when she’s evil. We’re meant to cheer for her when she stands up to Shadow Weaver and defeats her. We’re meant to feel for her when Shadow Weaver stabs her in the back and Hordak sends her to the Crimson Waste. Her entire breakdown is meant to be tragic and engaging. When you’ve watched a character suffer so much through no/little fault of their own, when you’ve watched them stand up to bigger villains in a way that makes you root for them, it makes sense that you want them to eventually get their happy ending.

The Diamonds: I realize in retrospect that the writers probably meant for us to feel bad for the Diamonds, too. Like when they’re grieving Pink, during What’s the Use of Feeling, Blue?, or when they complain how stressed they are in Change Your Mind. But the thing is… it just didn’t work for me. After the show spent all that time showing us all the death, despair, and destructions the Diamonds had caused, after it was made clear that the Crystal Gems had lost multiple friends and allies to them, it just didn’t make me feel sympathetic that the diamonds had lost one (1) person. So what if someone shattered Pink for being a dictator? The Diamonds themselves have shattered millions of gems and now that it’s someone they care about I was suddenly meant to feel bad for them? I didn’t.

When That Will Be All first aired, I loved What’s the Use of Feeling, Blue? – because I thought the show was doing this brilliant thing where they show that evil people can still have loved ones and have feelings but that doesn’t make them less evil. Every horrible person in history had feelings and loved ones. That doesn’t excuse their actions. In retrospect I find it disappointing to know that we were meant start feeling bad for the Diamonds due to their grief for Pink, that we were meant to see Pink/Rose as the evil one for starting a rebellion against them, that we were supposed to believe Bismuth was in the wrong. Rebelling against a dictatorship is a good thing. Standing up for equality is a good thing. I don’t like that the show suddenly tried to spread this message that conflict is always bad even when you’re actively fighting against tyranny and oppression. What happened to the Crystal Gems and their cause? What happened to the Steven from season 1 who reassured Lapis that “They’re mean, and that’s why we *have to* fight them”? And no, the “but being a dictator is so stressful, please feel bad for us” part didn’t work for me either.

4. A well-written redemption arc

For a well-written redemption arc, a character needs to actually regret what they’ve done and realize they were wrong. Then they need to put in the effort to be better from now. They need to… actually change. And then they need to do things that make up for their actions.

Catra: We get to see Catra go through an amazing character arc that culminates in her redemption and her eventual love-confession to Adora. The entire arc that was built for her over 5 seasons leads up to that moment and it’s so satisfying when it finally happens because it makes sense. We get to see her make big mistakes, get to see how she finally even scares Scorpia away, how Scorpia leaving breaks her, how Double Trouble gives her a harsh but needed lecture, how she understands that she and Glimmer aren’t so different, how she finally remembers Adora and decides to save her. We see her regret her actions as early as season 1, when she feels visibly bad after leaving Adora on the cliff in the temple. In season 4, she has nightmares about Entrapta and feels guilty for what she did to her and for opening the portal.

And from the moment she decides to change, she’s willing to make huge personal sacrifices to make up for her actions: She sacrifices herself to save Glimmer, gets tortured, mind-controlled and nearly dies in the process. The heroes saving her doesn’t come from nowhere and their forgiveness is well-earned because she was willing to put herself on the line to save someone else. She then keeps helping the heroes, apologizes to everyone she’s hurt, is again willing to sacrifice herself for Adora in the finale, and finally saves the entire universe from Horde Prime by staying with Adora and confessing her love to her. If we’re trying to be realistic about this – I’d say saving the whole universe from an intergalactic dictator would at least dramatically shorten her prison sentence? So no, I don’t think Catra should have ended up in prison.

The Diamonds: So the thing about their redemption arc is… they don’t really have one. We’re just kind of meant to forgive them out of the blue. Steven and the Crystal Gems ask the Diamonds for help to cure the corrupted gems and they manage to convince them, but there’s never any point where the Diamonds regret their actions. They only start to regret their actions towards Steven and Pink, but there’s never even an ounce of regret for what they did to anyone else. The Cluster? The deaths? The millions of destroyed planets and civilization? The humans and Rose Quartzes in the zoo? The presumably thousands of off-colors fighting for their lives underground on homeworld every second? That’s all swept under the rug in the finale. And therefore, the Diamonds can’t even get to the point where they make sacrifices for someone else or do anything that would lead me to forgive them, because they’re not even at a point where they realize they’ve done anything wrong. The show treats them like they’re redeemed in the end, but they’re not. Everything they’ve done just gets ignored.

5. Being held accountable for their actions

Another thing that’s important for redemption arcs is that the heroes don’t just ignore what a character has done and act like it never happened.

Catra: SPOP never shies away from admitting that Catra has done bad things. Even after her heroic sacrifice, the other characters don’t just all forgive Catra at once. Adora still calls her out when she’s being selfish, some of other princesses are resentful towards her, Frosta punches her in the face, etc. One heroic sacrifice isn’t enough: You see Catra constantly working on herself afterwards and doing what she can to become a better person and make up for her actions. And most importantly, those actions are addressed in the show. (Arguably they could have addressed what happened to Angella again, but overall Catra’s actions get acknowledged in the show.)

The Diamonds: My other big problem with SU suddenly acting like the Diamonds are redeemed is that their actions never get addressed. People act like when I say I wanted the Diamonds to be held accountable that means I wanted Steven to shatter them in cold blood – no, I just wanted Steven to at least *say* that what they’re doing is wrong. Like I said, all of their actions other than corrupting gems and treating Steven & Pink badly completely get swept under the rug in Change Your Mind. It’s like we’re meant to assume that everything else will be fine now just because Steven managed to convince the Diamonds to do one (1) thing for him. What will happen to their colonies now? What about the humans and Rose Quartzes in the zoo? What about all the off-colors fighting for their lives underground on homeworld? What about the enslaved Pearls and the class system? None of that ever gets addressed in the finale – we’re just supposed to take that happy ending at face value and believe that all the other stuff will get fixed now, even though the show never says that!

(Before you tell me how any of that gets addressed in the movie or in Steven Universe Future – I don’t care. SU Future is a new show that takes place after a timeskip. The movie is also a separate thing. SU should make sense as a show on its own and it doesn’t. Change Your Mind was presented as a finale and therefore should wrap up the most important plots and it didn’t.)

For all we know after watching CYM, Steven doesn’t actually care about anything the Diamonds have done. He’s sitting on their shoulders and laughing with them in the end and we’re meant to take that as a happy ending. For all we know, there’s still an oppressive class system and gems getting shattered for not fitting into it on homeworld. The Cluster’s still suffering. The Pearls are still slaves. The Diamonds are still dictators and that aspect never changed – because it’s never addressed. When White Pearl regains consciousness, Steven says “Welcome Back”, but nothing in this episode ever implies that she’s not still WD’s slave. When Lars and the Off-colors arrive on Earth, the fact that they’re terrified of the Diamonds is played for laughs. The finale revolves only around Steven’s feelings while Garnet and Pearl never get a moment of standing up to the people who hurt them.

“But Steven needed the Diamonds’ help the heal the corrupted gems!”

Yes, that’s the in-universe explanation. But a writer still invented that rule. And even so, they could have added a scene where Steven takes the Crystal Gems aside and tells them “Hey, I know these people killed many of your friends, enslaved and persecuted you, but I just want you to know that I don’t actually like them or consider them family and I’m only doing this to help the corrupted gems. You’re my real family.”

6. Identifying with their victims

I don’t remember who made that post, but there was a post on Tumblr somewhere that said that how likely someone is to forgive a villain often depends on how much they identify with the people that villain has hurt. And if I’m being very honest, that’s what a lot of my hate for the Diamonds boils down to:

The Diamonds don’t appear in Steven Universe until way later in the show. The way we first learn about them is indirect. We know the Crystal Gems fought a war against someone and are hiding on Earth from someone, but that someone doesn’t get a face until way later. By that point, we’ve already been told that fusions like Garnet are illegal on homeworld, that Pearls are considered lesser gems, and that Amethyst would be defective by homeworld’s standards. And all of those things made me personally sympathize with the Crystal Gems and their found family of misfits – and it made me angry at whoever did all of this to them. You can easily read the discrimination Ruby and Sapphire faced for their relationship as a metaphor for homophobia or prejudice against interracial relationships, the discrimination Pearl faces as racism or classism and how Amethyst is treated as ableism.

(Getting personal here for a moment: I’m gay and my parents are from a homophobic country that’s run by a dictator, so I strongly identified with Garnet and how she can’t go back to homeworld because she wouldn’t be allowed to exist as her true self there. Am I maybe reading too much into the show there? Yeah. But honestly, if the Diamonds’ redemption relies on people not identifying with the Crystal Gems – aka the literal protagonists of the show – too much, then maybe it’s just not a good idea. Yeah, maybe if I hadn’t identified with the CGs so strongly, I wouldn’t have minded the Diamond redemption – but it also means I’d have never loved SU as much in the first place.)

What I’m saying is that we first learn about the Diamonds from the point of view of the people they oppressed, persecuted, and tried to kill. We also meet the off-colors and learn about their plight, how they had to spend eons hiding from robots that want to kill them, how they believe the way they are is wrong, etc. We see the Cluster, the people in the zoo etc. and get told the Diamonds did all of this. And then Change Your Mind expects us to suddenly randomly forgive them with no build-up and be okay with Steven calling them “family” over the actual people who raised him.

Catra, on the other hand, is first introduced to us as Adora’s best friend. We get to meet her from the point of view of the protagonist who obviously loves her. Throughout their separation and their struggle, the relationship between these two characters drives the show. Their episodes together are emotional and well-written and make the audience root for them to eventually find their way back together again. We meet her as an abuse-victim who thinks her best friend left her, and we get so many reasons to sympathize with her before she ever hurts anyone.

(And yeah, it helps that the show never lets us personally meet any of the people from the lands she conquered. Yes, we feel bad for Scorpia and all that – but again, being a toxic friend isn’t actually a crime. And yes, we feel bad for Entrapta - but so does Catra, and Entrapta ends up being fine and forgiving her.)

7. A satisfying ending for a show

This is more general, but SU didn’t have a satisfying conclusion imo, because almost none of the things that needed fixing were ever addressed. We’re meant to take “but the Diamonds say please and thank you now” as a good conclusion without getting to the part where they murder people every day. For all we know, Steven doesn’t even care about that part because the writers never made him act like he does.

And yes, I realize that the Diamonds are meant to be a metaphor for a conservative family that finally learns to accept their queer child (Steven), but that metaphor just didn’t work for me (a queer child of an unaccepting family) at all. Because they’re not presented as an unaccepting family: The show spent 4 seasons building them up as dictators and the ultimate big bad, only to drop the “they’re related to Steven” thing in there last minute and sweep the other stuff under the rug. We’ve also spent 5 seasons seeing the Crystal Gems, the people who literally raised him, as Steven’s family, so suddenly giving that title to their oppressors feels super wrong to me.

To give you a comparison, imagine the following ending for She-Ra: Near the end of season 5, Adora suddenly finds out she’s Horde Prime’s long-lost granddaughter. After calling him out for treating her/her parents badly, he finally regrets that part of his actions and promises to leave Etheria alone so Adora and her friends can live there in peace. However, he’s still going to conquer and destroy the rest of the universe and keep Hordak and the other clones mind-controlled. Adora is fine with this and you see her and Horde Prime laughing together in the end. Catra and all the other people Horde Prime chipped and tortured are seen being okay with him now because as long as Adora, the main character, is happy all the hurt Horde Prime caused anyone else doesn’t matter. When the Star Siblings show up on Etheria while fleeing from the Horde army, the fact that they’re scared of Horde Prime is played for laughs. The End.

… Sounds pretty stupid, doesn’t it? I’m glad SPOP had the guts to just let Adora kill Horde Prime instead. Because some people are not redeemable, and that’s an important lesson, too.

Anyways, I’ve been rambling for too long. The bottom line is: The Diamonds are way more comparable to Horde Prime than to Catra. The scale of their actions is the same as that of Horde Prime, their motivations are never explained, we never get any reasons to sympathize with them, the main characters have all been victims of their regime, their redemption arc is nonexistent, they never get called out for their actions and the way their story is concluded is just badly written and leaves way too many factors unaddressed. They get forgiven without ever even being sorry and the Crystal Gems never get a moment to shine and stand up to them. So yes, I consider them irredeemable and was disappointed the show didn’t end with them getting imprisoned at least. (I was kind of hoping for a Homeworld revolution where everyone finally stands up to them, but… *sigh*.) If the show was going to redeem them, they should have at least done it properly by actually showing them have a change of heart and making them try to make up for their actions, instead of letting us assume that all happened off-screen.

Catra on the other hand gets presented as someone to root for from the beginning. She’s only in the Horde due to unfortunate circumstances, got abused and mistreated her whole life, is motivated by a desperate attempt to prove herself and make sure she doesn’t get hurt again, and never committed crimes on the same scale as the Diamonds. Her change of heart is believable and what her arc has been building up to for 4 seasons, she makes great personal sacrifices for Glimmer and Adora, gets held accountable for her actions, helps save the entire universe and is a character who has already suffered her entire life – so yes, I strongly believe that she deserves to live a happy, free, and peaceful life after the show.

#spop #Catra #SU critical #redemption arcs #writing #... do I really dare to post in the 'su critical' tag again? yeah let's do it #just to be clear again - this is CRITICISM not hate #long post #... wow this really got long #replies to people #noideahowtocallmyblog

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malachi-walker · 5 years

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Catra and the Performative Nature of Villainy and Abuse Survival

(Yeah, with a title like that you can tell I earned that English lit masters. -.-)

Ok, so I have a lot of She-ra meta bouncing around my skull I need to get to one day, but let’s start with the big one post s4: the psychological and symbolic implications that are made explicit in DT’s epic call out of Catra (please note that I specified “made explicit” not revealed, because a lot of the stuff I wanna talk about was already there if you knew where to look.)

1. Catra’s villainy is inherently performative.

Yeah, pretty obvious but I’m going somewhere with this. If you pay close attention to Catra throughout the series, her words (the stuff on the surface) and her underlying actions don’t match up. Not entirely. No tsundere jokes, please, because it ultimately leads back to a very common pattern among abuse victims and some very interesting implications for Catra herself.

Basically it’s not horribly uncommon for abuse victims, especially those in domestic or child abuse situations, to end up performing on multiple levels. Level one: performing for the abuser in the hopes that this will minimize or stop the abuse. (Check.) Level two: performing for loved ones so as not to either worry them or risk them leaving if the abuse becomes obvious.

Oh, double check.

And lastly, Level Three: the act of performing as a method of keeping people on the outside away from you, either out of fear of more pain or fear of further judgment, which is a huge bulk of what we see Catra spiralling through this entire series.

Like, I myself was a child abuse victim for the first twelve years of my life (I’m fine now after about a decade of therapy) and I operated on all these different levels; alternating between placating my abuser to avoid punishment or rebelling to take back some form of control, deflecting from my other loved ones so as not to worry them, and being absolutely resistant to outside forces coming in, because at that point I had so little control over my life that I was more comfortable with embracing the hell I knew as a way to give myself some measure of control and stability than have someone save me from that situation but take that control away from me. Fucked up, but true. Which brings me into my second point:

2. Words have no inherent value for Catra except as weapons.

Which again, makes perfect sense considering her upbringing. Unlike Adora, Catra never had the luxury of buying into the Horde propaganda. She knew they hurt innocent people because she’d already been enduring torture from the time she was a small child–as other people have pointed out before. Moreover, she grew up in an environment that treated words with varying levels of consistency, where Shadow Weaver can praise Adora for doing one thing and then mercilessly put down Catra for doing the exact same thing equally.

This not only teaches someone about lying, this teaches someone that words are weapons, and Catra took that lesson and ran with it. Even when she and Adora were on good terms, she would still lightly drag her or put her down, but I don’t think it was from any inherent malice at that point. Good example: in episode one she’s perfectly content to mock Adora while she’s stuck in the pit, but immediately after she reached down and helped pull her out. “Actions speak louder than words” is an old clichè, but it’s super important to keep in mind when analyzing Catra’s character. Out of all the characters on Spop, she is the last one who can be analyzed from surface words alone, because so much of it is an act.

In fact, I can think of probably only one instance in which Catra did actually wholeheartedly believe in words…

Yeah, y'all know what I’m talking about.

And again, that makes perfect sense. Because Adora wasn’t just Catra’s best friend, she was explicitly her lifeline. Shadow Weaver’s exact words to little Catra were: “I’ve kept you around this long because Adora was fond of you. But if you ever do anything to jeopardize her future, I will dispose of you myself.” On top of that, the other cadets show clear signs of having sensed the blood in the water, so to speak: it’s an open secret to everyone but Adora that Shadow Weaver hates Catra’s guts, and therefore it stands to reason that in a cutthroat culture like the Horde’s, Catra was probably seen as easy prey until she learned to defend herself. Because it wasn’t like Shadow Weaver would do anything about it.

So Adora was the only person Catra could count on, but that also leads into the double edged aspect of words I’ve been talking about: Catra could let herself believe in their promise, but not enough to actually reveal to her what was going on. In the same way Shadow Weaver lightens up on the abuse when Adora’s around (just compare her use of lightning on Catra in Promise vs the Sword pt 2–the former is very subdued and looks almost like a simple hold, while the latter makes it very obvious this is painful torture) Catra deflects away from the subject around Adora, and the few times she does approach it “Why does she hate me so much” she tends not to get the reassurance she wants because Adora isn’t as clued in on the situation.

I mean, it’s pretty telling that Catra’s first leap off the slippery slope after being more of a nuisance than anything else up to that point came after Light Hope deliberately pushed her buttons by basically taunting her with the one thing that Catra had ever allowed herself to believe in.

I mean, her younger self looks at her as if to drive in the point of “you were a fool to believe in it!” After what we found out in S4, you cannot make me believe that wasn’t Light Hope deliberately twisting the knife to make sure they didn’t reconcile. And immediately after Catra pitches Adora off a cliff. Good times.

Ok, that was a big fucking lead in to my main point, but here we are:

3. Pretty much everything Catra says from that point onward is an act.

And it’s an obvious one, all things considered. Because that’s when Catra gets vicious. That’s when all her verbal barbs start cutting deep. That’s when combat between her and Adora goes from almost playful to outright brutal. And that’s when we start seeing Catra using her words as weapons against herself in addition to everyone else.

Because that’s the point when Catra starts feeding into her constructed persona of being this smug, confident, in-control villain who most definitely isn’t capable of being hurt like that ever again, no siree. We get to see several times across s4 in particular where her feelings clearly aren’t in line with her actions, and what does she do? She forces herself to say something cruel or hard-hearted as a way to essentially drag her actions and internal feelings back into line with that constructed person. Good example is the locker room scene with the Horde Trio: Catra very clearly wants to reach out to them and experience a little of their camaraderie, but she forces herself back into “I’m the boss” mode. And when it’s misinterpreted as her simply being a bitch, she goes into a rage because it’s one thing for her to want to reach out and deny herself that, but another for someone else to try to force their way in.

And all of this ties back into my main point, and why I think DT’s speech is particularly brilliant from a symbolic and psychological standpoint.

Actor vs Actor: Fight!

I’ve already established that Catra is somebody who is a performer and has been all her life in order to survive. That’s part of why Catra is such a tough nut to crack in terms of getting through to her: it’s hard to make accurate hits on someone who is putting on a persona. It’s damn near impossible to get a point through when you don’t have a clear idea of what you should be aiming at in the first place. So how do you beat a consummate actor?

You bring in a better performer.

Now, I do have my problems with DT’s speech: as others have pointed out, tossing Shadow Weaver and Hordak into the guilt trip is severely messed up and victim-blamey, though I do believe that has more to do with the fact that DT themself is not omniscient and therefore doesn’t have all the facts there (though given their sadistic streak, I’m also not sure they wouldn’t still cross that line even if they did know.)

But here’s what made that scene rock me to my fucking core: Catra almost pulled it off. Think about it: she has spent three seasons up until that point convincing her former friends, allies, boss and even the viewers–remember the post Portal moral panic–that she was this completely villainous monster. That she didn’t care, that she wasn’t worth saving, that everything she does is ultimately self-serving and terrible… Only for DT to see right through the disguise.

Adora couldn’t get through to Catra when she couldn’t even pinpoint the real problem. Scorpia couldn’t get through because by that point the defenses were fully up and Catra was going all in on her mask of villainy.

What finally got through? Being outclassed by a much better actor. By someone who is both a world class actor but also in touch enough with their own personality and wants that they don’t interfere with their own performance.

Because that’s the difference between DT and Catra: for Catra, acting the villain has been a matter of psychological survival up until that point. DT, meanwhile, acts for fun, work, and a certain level of sadistic pleasure. They have no moral dilemmas about what they do and thus they experience zero cognitive dissonance, whereas Catra may as well be the poster child. And it’s not too much of a stretch to think that once they figured out Catra’s deal, they probably found it quite amusing to completely demolish the act that had practically everyone else on the planet completely fooled.

That’s also part of the reason why Catra was so suicidal and lifeless after: the crutch she’d been using just to keep herself upright for four seasons just got yanked out from under her along with all chances of ever getting to double back down on that villainy again. Nowhere to go, and not even a mask to hide behind any more.

And honestly, I could keep talking on and on about just… The amazing amount of narrative complexity and precision and psychological depth that went into pulling this moment off. It’s amazing. But I’ve also spent like two and a half hours working on this post, so that’s that. If you read this far, get yourself a cookie or the snack of your choice. You earned it.

#spop #spop spoilers #catra #double trouble #spop meta #my meta #child abuse #and probably #ptsd #if we're being honest #abuse survival psychology

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king-of-freaks-and-fools · 3 years

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all righty lets go fanfic time

wrote this a few days ago... lmk what you all think!

the storms that break us may not always be the ones in the sky

WARNING: She-Ra Season 1 General Spoilers Includes: implied Catradora, angst, fluff, missing scenes It never stormed in the Fright Zone. Sure, there were a few times where the wind picked up and parts of deteriorating buildings collapsed, but it was never enough to be called a storm. The thick, heavy smog that hung over the rusted wastelands kept the rain and thunder away. Which was a good thing, or the power grid would have been taken down many more times than it should have. But today was different. "Hey, Adora." Catra popped out from behind the doorframe, grinning at the sweaty, muscular cadet. "Catra!" The blonde leapt back, blue eyes flashing with fear for a moment, before subsiding to mild annoyance. "Do you have to keep pulling that trick?" She wiped a few beads of sweat from her forehead, and tossed the armor into a bin at the corner of the room that stank even worse than the time Kyle puked on the benches after training. That had really smelled. "You know you love it." She stuck her tongue out at Adora and swatted her arm lightly with her tail. "C'mon, loosen up a little!" "Loosen up? No way. We've got too much to work for. If I loosen up here, soon enough it'll follow me onto the battlefield and I'll be done for. Taken out by one of those ruthless princesses with one swipe of their stupidly shiny swords." Adora tied her belt tightly around her waist, and redid her ponytail, tugging back any strands of hair that might have gotten loose during the training session. The magicat sighed dramatically, and then grabbed Adora by her wrist, dashing out of the room and dragging her through winding hallways, ignoring her stubborn attempts to get her to stop. Adora might have been strong, but Catra was clearly more agile and if she could keep Adora slightly off balance, she could easily drag her around. "What on Etheria are you doing?" Adora shrieked, desperately trying to tug her hand out of Catra's grip. "We should be back in the barracks by now, not running around through the halls." Catra's response was to snicker and start to run even faster. "You'd better quiet down or she'll catch us." She chided Adora, not needing to mention who 'she' was. Every cadet in the Horde knew the name of the powerful dark-magic sorceress, and to mutter it aloud was to summon her from the Black Garnet chambers where she spent her time. "You started this!" Suddenly, Catra came to a sudden stop. The two of them stood in front of an exit that lead to the roof, their favorite spot in all of the Fright Zone. The magicat leapt onto the flimsy railing and crouched there, smiling at Adora through hair tossed around her face by the stiff breeze. "What did you want to show me?" Adora cocked her head. "Look around, dummy." A laugh that sounded almost as rusty as the structures that surrounded them reverberated from her throat. Catra grabbed Adora by the shoulders and tugged her over to where she perched upon the railing. "See those clouds in the distance?" She said softly into the cadet's ear. "Watch them." Something warm spread across Adora's chest as she leaned into Catra, watching the clouds that grazed the top of the buildings in the distance. They had more of a bluish tinge to them than the typical reddish-gray ones that blanketed the Fright Zone, and were taller, too. It almost looked like there was a dark curtain underneath them, making the edges of the Fright Zone even harder to see than they usually were. Something even seemed off about the atmosphere around them, with an odd lack of hums and explosions. Catra looked over at Adora, who was looking intently off into the distance, and felt a chuckle rumble up from her throat. She really was intense about everything she did. Suddenly, Adora grabbed her wrist. "I saw something!" "Oh, yeah?" "Yeah! It was bright and really quick, and looked sort of like a line? It reminded me of the stun batons a little... except it wasn't green." Her brow furrowed. "That's what I was telling you to look for." "What is it?" "Some sort of electrical bolt, I think. It comes from the clouds, and sometimes it hits stuff, causing explosions." She glanced at Adora. "Do... do you like it?" "Like it? Catra, I love it!" Her face was alight with happiness. "It's really, really cool." "Oh! um... t-thanks. I guess." She mumbled, blushing. Another heartbeat passed, and then she mustered up the courage to open her mouth again. "Want to stay a little while and watch it?" She'd said it quietly, and as Adora didn't respond for a few seconds, she worried she hadn't heard her. "Adora?" "Hm?" Adora tore her eyes away from the landscape. "Oh, yeah. That'd be... nice." She smiled softly at the magicat. "Cool." Catra shifted into a more comfortable position, and Adora moved over a little closer. Something warm flickered in Catra's chest, and she gently curled her tail around Adora's back. Adora leaned her head over onto Catra's shoulder, and they watched the dark gray clouds grow closer and closer. Adora glanced over at Catra, the warm feeling spreading through her chest again. She moved her hand over the slightest increment, so their pinkies were touching. Adora was unsure what Catra's reaction would be, but certainly didn't expect her to begin purring. Not wanting to spoil the moment, Adora stayed quiet instead of poking fun at Catra like she usually would. Catra didn't say anything either, just continued to purr. A gust of wind buffeted the two of them, blowing their hair away from their faces. A strange scent, something tangy and almost earthy, was carried along with the wind. Catra glanced up, and noticed the clouds were gathering above them, too. She glanced over at Adora, and opened her mouth, about to tell her they should go inside. Something small and cold fell right onto Catra's nose, and she yelped. Her tail frizzed up, and she lost her balance, tipping too far forwards and feeling her feet and hands loosen their grip on the railing. She unsheathed her claws, attempting to dig them into the bar. But they missed. Cold air rushed between her fingertips, and stung her wide-open eyes. Suddenly, a hand grabbed the back of her shirt and tugged her back, so far that she toppled off the bar and hit the roof with a thud. The chill of metal brought her to her senses, and she groaned, adrenaline leaving her body so fast she felt empty. "Catra? Catra, are you okay?" Adora leaned down, so close that Catra could smell her sweat. "Ugh, get off me, idiot." She sat up and as she pushed her hair out of her face, another small, cold droplet hit her. Another fell, and another, and then another, until it all came pouring out of the clouds above them. The two cadets stared at each other, getting wetter and wetter by the second. "Shit!" Catra shoved Adora off her, and leapt up. "Shadow Weaver is going to KILL us!" "We'd better hurry in, then." Adora stood up, not even reprimanding Catra for swearing, and the two of them hurried back toward the entrance. As they were about to get inside, something incredibly loud sounded all around them, and Catra yelped, clapping her hands to her ears, tears forming in her eyes. Her heightened senses had come in handy many times, but now they only proved to be a nuisance. The sound felt like a burning spike stabbed through her head, and her ears rang so loudly she couldn't hear the rain anymore. She knew her tail must've frizzed up to an enormous size, and she fell to her knees, squeezing her eyes shut. Someone's hand landed on her shoulder, and Catra sprang forwards, slicing at whoever was there. The person fell down with a heavy thud, and she cracked her eyes open to see who it was. The white uniform shirt and blonde hair tied back sent a heavy stone through Catra's stomach. Adora. She'd hurt Adora. Adora who sat in front of her, blood blossoming from a cut on her cheek. "No. No no no." She stumbled backwards, tears threatening to spill at any moment. She wasn't sure what scared her more: the fact that she'd hurt Adora, or the fact that she was going to cry. She turned away and clenched her hands into fists, ready for Adora to either throw a punch or run off. But that didn't happen. Instead, Catra felt Adora's hands take hers, gently. She turned around in surprise, and noticed a smile on her face. "It's okay." The words sounded far off, like Catra was underwater. "I'm not mad at you, Catra." "You should be!" She tried to pull her hand from Adora's grip, but she was too strong. "It was a mistake. You were hurt." Adora said simply, moving a little closer. "And it doesn't even sting that much." "But..." "C'mon, Catra, we'll go patch it up and then head back to the barracks." She didn't even wait for a response this time, just gently tugged Catra down the hallway. If Catra had really wanted to, she could've pulled away this time and left, but she didn't. She just followed Adora, all the way back to their bedroom, never letting go of her hand. - - - - - Later, Catra would stand on that very same rooftop, with no Adora to pull her back if she fell. The same kind of clouds as before were gathering above her, and the wind was picking up even more so than last time. Catra tried to push those thoughts away, tuck them into a box she kept at the back of her mind reserved just for memories with Adora. She wished she could just forget her altogether, but the box would have to do. Adora... holding her hand like that, so gently, so caring. Adora... taking her hand again, begging her to come with her, to join the Rebellion. Adora... with that stupid hopeful smile on her face as Catra paused for a moment. Adora... who'd watched her as she walked away into the smoke. Adora... Tears formed in her eyes and Catra finally let them spill, mixing with the rain as it soaked her again. Sobs wracked her body, and she stared down the flashing lightning as if taunting it, daring it to hit her. She tilted her head back and screamed to the sky, letting her burning anger tear through her throat, letting her claws scrape through the metal bar, and letting the wind rip away her words and toss them into the churning sky.

#catradora #catra #adora #shera #SPoP #fanfic #fanfiction #look i tried #i want to write angst but i just fucking cant #catra needs a hug #she wont take one from Scorpia though #first fanfic #did i mention catra needs a hug

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