#spop.txt

[apollo-cackling]

"No, you can't risk letting him back into your head"

"Adora, you have to let me try. Otherwise you're going to do something stupid and get yourself killed"

this stupidly selfless (affectionate) brand of loyalty has always been kinda like catnip to me

#my rambles #spop.txt #catradora #spop #10n

[apollo-cackling]

Catra, wait. ...I'm sorry for leaving. I couldn't go back to the Fright Zone, not after I saw what the Horde was really doing. I never wanted to leave you. ...You could come with me! You-you-you could join the rebellion! I know you're not a bad person, Catra. You don't belong with the Horde.

(Promise)

Oh, no. Catra is not my friend. I mean, she's--she used to be, but that was a long time ago, and she's tried to kill me a bunch of times since then, but then she saved Glimmer. And maybe that means there's still good in her, and now I don't know. It's…{sighs} It's complicated.

(Stranded)

I can't get into it right now but I fucign love this detail in the way adora talks to and about catra clearly she misses catra and wants catra with her but she doesn't know how to admit that can't admit that she's a person with wants and so uses good/bad person as an impersonal excuse and so from catra's end then adora's care/affection feels flimsy/conditional/impersonal and hfffffn *head in hands*

*slaps catradora on their backs* these girls can fit soo much artifice in their behaviour

#my rambles #spop #catradora #spop.txt #like promise right adora leads with 'join the rebellion' and 'I know you're not a bad person catra' bc *gestures at above* #but that's the bit catra's stuck on that involves admitting adora wasn't reasonable to leave the horde #and leaving the horde is tied to leaving *catra* in catra's mind so it's like #*all of this is subconscious obviously #idk if any of this is coherent at all but- #10n #20n

[apollo-cackling]

Is it worth giving She-ra another chance if I wasn't grabbed by the first season? I watched season one back when it came out and I thought it was alright. There were some memorable episodes (princess prom, etc.) but the season finale was underwhelming. I never checked out the seasons after that when they were released and was wondering if it's a show that hits it's stride later

oh yea for sure - way I think about the show is that s1-2* is mostly your typical episodic children's show stuff, and s3-5 is where it really hits its stride and hooked me personally lol. I have the entirety of s3-5 but only select episodes of s1-2 (ex. Promise) downloaded on my phone for example

to manage expectations, it's still a cartoon about princesses (one that never quite worked out/resolved some of its early season jank in hindsight). if that's not something you're down for, it's unlikely She-Ra will change your mind. I really do like it + think it really shines taking the show on its on terms but yeah yk

re: s1 finale yeah agreed lol feels like it's got that issue of needing to be a conclusion to s1 if the show didn't get any more seasons and as a result is a bit awkward both on first watch and rewatches bc it doesn't flow entirely naturally into later seasons. oh well! I love the show for what it is but has some jank lol

*s2 and s3 are both half seasons with the two having a full season's worth of episodes between them (s2 has 7 and s3 has 6 iirc?) just in case that comes off too much as "yeah the first 6 books of this series is really mid but it gets REALLY GOOD after the 7th I promise" lol

#my rambles #spop.txt #ask #spop #ty for the ask! #idk if I covered everything I should have feel free to ask me more stuff 'd be happy to answer

[apollo-cackling]

Catra + a passage from The Electric Heir:

[ID 1-4: four screenshots from She-Ra overlaid with text from The Electric Heir by Victoria Lee.

1st: a screenshot from near the end of Failsafe (s5ep11), of Catra crouching on a high ledge looking down. The overlaid text reads,

Early this morning, before Noam was awake, Dara had sat at the corner of the sofa downstairs with his brow tipped against the cold windowpane and stared at the ice as it cracked and melted off the tree outside. He’d tried to imagine death: a quiet dark embrace welcoming him home.

2nd: a screenshot from near the end of Remember (s3e5), of Catra being pulled into a void of light, barely holding onto a rock with an apathetic, expression on her face. The text reads,

Such dreams had come easily, once. When Dara was sixteen, he’d chased after death with both arms outstretched—and death had felt like warm bathwater and drugs in his veins, had smelled like spilled blood.

3rd: a screenshot from Shot in the Dark (s5ep8), from when Catra fighting off her helmet made Adora laugh, and Catra is staring at Adora lovingly. The text reads,

He couldn’t reclaim that feeling now. He couldn’t imagine stepping out of this life and leaving Noam behind—or Ames, or Leo, or even Priya. That story Noam wove last night about their future had sunk deep into his bones, and he couldn’t excise it. Dara wanted that.

4th: a screenshot from Failsafe (s5ep11), where Catra looks at Adora with tears in her eyes. The text reads, simply,

For the first time in years, Dara wanted to live.

/end ID]

#quickly remade that post because the the #'in retrospect I should've used a screenshot of catra leaving at the end of Failsafe for "For the first time in years dara wanted to live'' #was bothering me lol #never have I been more thankful for past!me sorting all my she-ra screenshots chronologically holy sh #my rambles #like thanks it's useful #but also mate we need to get you diagnosed for adhd right this moment #spop #catradora #spop.txt #feverwake #10n #she ra

[apollo-cackling]

thinking about the bit in... was it the Sea Gate? early s1 at any rate, where Scorpia tries to hug Catra and Catra hates it bc like. it's a typical comedy bit, right? grumpy one meets ball of sunshine, hijinks ensue. but the show takes it seriously. it's a comedy bit, but it also sets up the core conflict in the two's relationship - Catra having boundaries she's really sensitive about but which Scorpia often unknowingly tramples over trying to be friends yk

#my rambles #none of which like. *justifies* the things Catra does in reaction but #idk I really like the way this is set up two imperfect people whose imperfections butt up against each other really badly #spop #spop.txt

[apollo-cackling]

okay, but can you imagine being Mara, coming back to the Crystal Castle one day, and finding the person you love looking themselves but noticeably Wrong.

Did she know what happened? Did they fall in love, knowing that they're on limited time, that, any second, that this could be taken away? Did she try to spend every conceivable minute with Light Hope, terrified of the day she'll be taken away? Or did she fall into their usual routine with a smile, only for that smile to slowly fade away at each uncaring answer, each brusque statement?

Imagine being Mara, knowing she'll die, that she's dying, that all her friends are dead, knowing the planet she has spent so much time caring for and slowly falling in love with, that that planet is about to die, with the voice and face of her love telling her it's her fault? And she knows that it's not her and she knows that the person she loves is gone, but it's them, alone, desperately alone on a spaceship heading towards towards death, and maybe, maybe, as she lay dying, she believes it

#help I'm mentally ill about a dead girl and a hologram #spop #marahope #also I haven't rewatched in a bit so apologies if the events are kinda inaccurate lol #my rambles #she-ra #she ra #50n #10n #20n #100n #spop.txt

[apollo-cackling]

one thing I keep on coming back to catradora is like. imagine being held with such tenderness

imagine being at your worst, imagine driving away everything you care about, knowing that you're driving everything you care about but not knowing how to stop, being deep in that abyss and suddenly having a hand reach out to you like, I know you. I care about you. I've seen you at your worst yet I also know the person underneath. I trust you, that you can change if I give you the chance. I love you still and I am not leaving you to fester alone.

#my rambles #catradora #spop #idk. it meant a lot to me back then and it still does #not sure if I managed to capture the Words right but hey #10n #20n #50n #spop.txt

[apollo-cackling]

wait wait wait angella s3 sacrificing herself for adora "take care of each other", "I am a coward" questioning why out of everyone why does it have to be adora who sacrifices herself over and over again and chooses to step in her place—

—vs shadow weaver s5 pushing adora to sacrifice herself, pushing adora to abandon catra for the 'greater good' sacrificing that last bit of herself too, choosing only to sacrifice herself bc she knew there was nothing left for her otherwise

[I've connected the dots / you haven't connected anything].jpg

#my rambles #wrote this at 2am no clue if I'm onto smth or not #spop.txt #spop

[apollo-cackling]

I need to rewatch she ra it's been so long I can't remember if the people interpreting the finale as attempting a genuine shadow weaver redemption or people (me) interpreting it as a last selfish 'fuck you' from her to catra + adora are correct anymore

#my rambles #spop #spop.txt #I know I *strongly* believed back when I watched it that it was the 2nd and was incredulous that anyone would see it anyway than that #but idk it's been a long time I'm not confident if that's the intention/as clear an intention as I think it is #iirc nd said somewhere that indicates the latter but

[apollo-cackling]

thought too hard about catradora's dynamic again and hfffffn *head in hands*

#my rambles #spop #catradora #spop.txt

[apollo-cackling]

I really do like Taking Control's title, yk Catra fully taking control of her own body again, Horde Prime literally taking control of Etherea, Catra metaphorically taking control of her life, finally acting on her own terms and not merely in reaction and/or due to trauma, etc

#my rambles #spop #spop.txt

[apollo-cackling]

every once in a while I think too hard about catra and go insane all over again I don't post much about her bc idk what new I have to say but like. hfff :headinhands: she makes me fucjign insane

#my rambles #spop #catra #spop.txt #again feel free to send me asks about her it's going to take me a few weeks before I have the time to answer them but I love #-talking about her and it'd be fun #I'm more the analyse canon type rather than the what would happen in this au type if that matters #if it's like 'what would happen if x happened instead' then yeah I'd be good with that but like otherwise yk

[apollo-cackling]

something something catra never really resented adora's 'goody two shoes'-ness but instead how that means to adora, catra would always come second. And how in the early seasons, catra blamed that on adora, but in s5, catra finally understands that as adora's trauma - because acknowledging adora's trauma is directly linked to acknowledging her own, and pre-s5, that was something she couldn't allow herself to do

#my rambles #was purging my drafts bc my queue was running low again #ran into this and idk where I was originally going with this (this was drafted in january) #but sure that's complete enough that I'll let it out of drafts jail as-is #spop #catradora #spop.txt

[apollo-cackling]

thing about s4 of she-ra idk how I feel about* is how unclear it is how much glimmer knows about adora? like somewhere ~midseason (mer-mysteries? during or before mer-mysteries for sure) shadow weaver makes a jab at adora for always being so emotional/sensitive/etc and glimmer stifles a laugh and yk if glimmer knew about shadow weaver's abuse and how adora grew up that is an unconscientiably vile thing to do so yk it's like does she then?

knowing adora and her state of mind when she first joined the rebellion my headcanon is that she'd just never told them about any of it, it's just stuff from the Horde, all in her past + the first Glimmer and Bow hears of any of it is after rescuing Catra from Horde Prime, stumbling upon hushed arguments between the two mentioning "the way Shadow Weaver treated us"

would make for a great episode but within the pacing of the show there really is no place where it could fit so I get why. oh well! another thrown into the pile of fic ideas I've had for years but never got around to writing ig!

*like genuinely not knowing not like 'I feel negatively about this and am saying that as an euphemism'

#my rambles #spop.txt #further clearing out of my notes #spop

[apollo-cackling]

randomly remembered that one list of scrapped episode ideas ND posted on twitter a long time ago, one of them being "catra is upset shadow weaver forgot her birthday. it turns out adora remembers" or smth like that and. yk it got me thinking, Catra's a ward of Shadow Weaver, all of the Horde kids are orphans, no? very unlikely they even know when their birthdays are, if they know what a birthday is in the first place (*double checks remember to make sure I'm not forgetting a time they mention birthdays*)

and idk. had this fic idea where after the war, maybe directly after, Catra goes with Adora to one of the princesses' birthday parties (glimmer's? the first time in years she can celebrate her birthday with micah again, the first time she'll have to celebrate without angella). she learns what birthdays are, tries to put on a good face because of course but just couldn't bear it and slips out as soon as she could. later adora finds her on the edge of a roof and climbs up, talks to her about what it was like for her when she first joined the rebellion, how hard it could be to adjust, talks her down.

idk thing I think about sometimes right, there's an argument you can make that Catra's more... self actualised ig you can put it? in touch with her emotions than Adora by the end of the show, but Adora's also had two whole years lived outside the Horde, adjusting to what life's like outside of that toxic environment and there's stuff you can dig into there yk?

#my rambles #spop.txt #and the notes clearingout slowly begins

[apollo-cackling]

somehow ended up staying up until like 3 last night writing out my thoughts on parts of she ra and rewatching parts of s4-5. see if I can clean them up a bit to post

#my rambles #spop.txt #the downside of having the entirety of s3-5 pirated on my phone