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e-adlirez · 1 month

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Thea Stilton Treasure Seekers Review/Ramble

Behold, an impulsive ramble about a possibly-obscure trilogy that's been translated to English during quarantine-ish, adding to the obscurity.

So the Treasure Seekers, huh? :3

Coming out a little prior but more or less over the course of quarantine and thus a lot of people not having ready access to it, the Treasure Seekers is what turned out to be a trilogy of what it says on the tin: the girls hunting down cool treasures as a result of going down the world's biggest and highest-stakes scavenger hunt written a hundred-ish years prior to the present time.

Gonna be giving MAJOR spoilers for the first book in the trilogy, and there'll (probably) be one post per book in the trilogy. If you haven't read the book, here's a copy on the Internet Archive you can read before skipping ahead to the review, enjoy, it's pretty good. If you've already read the book or don't care about spoilers, please proceed below the cut :3

The story begins with the girls on summer vacation in Scotland. Shenanigans get started when they meet this old hermit woman who has in her house a mysterious heirloom tapestry with a mysterious poem on it.

The tapestry has this poem that talks about a place with sweet winds, petals that will lead you to something beneath them, something about midnight and birds, and an alabaster garden created for the "jewel of the palace" (like me to you), that is guarded by a friend with deep feet. Sounds like a whole lotta cryptic shnit the theory heads would enjoy :D

Anyway so the girls go visit Beitris (the hermit woman) the next day to return something they borrowed from her only to walk into a holdup :D

Said holdup-ers are these two grunts led by this mysterious lady hiding her identity under a black fedora and thick-framed Ray Bans. The girls deal with that situation real quick and get the guys to scarper (if you're wondering how they did that, "the police are coming"), and once it all blows over, they find that the thugs only stole the tapestry despite ransacking the entire place like raccoons. Such a realization leads to a revelation on Beitris's end, so she entrusts the girls with the tapestry's backstory in a segment I will describe as LAAANNNEEEE LOOOORRRREEEEEE (said in a MatPat voice, we'll miss you king :'])

The tapestry was a family heirloom passed down to Beitris by her grandmother Petra, who got it from her older sister Aurora Beatrix Lane, who is basically British Amelia Earhart. Wasn't into girly shnit, liked being outside and also archaeology, studied in the University of Cambridge as an Archaeology major and learned how to fly a plane, all while punting early 1900s gender norms into oblivion with her pants and motorcycle. Motorcycle queen, plane queen, archaeology queen, but then everything changed when this British Amelia Earhart did a British Amelia Earhart.

The context behind Aurora Beatrix Lane's disappearance is something relating to her work with her mentor Jan Von Klawitz, who was doing archaeology things with her and probably got up to some wild shnit, but we would never know because Aurora is very secretive about her plans and her destinations, and she only came home to the UK once, after her first trip, and that was when she gave smol child Petra the tapestry to guard because it led to "a very precious treasure", but she can't show it yet for the time being. The vibe was Aurora was planning on using the tapestry to show the treasure it hides once she's done with her archaeology shenanigans.

But then she did an Amelia Earhart but completely untraceable since she never revealed her destinations, so uh there's that :D

Back to the present, this little storytime from Beitris has gotten the girls sucked into a rabbit hole. They are now hyperfixated like nobody's business and this Aurora Beatrix Lane is JUST LIKE THEM FR, and as a result they decide that y'know what they still have a few days before classes in Mouseford starts, and while they're at it, they're gonna find Beitris's tapestry and maaayyyybeeee find the alabaster garden. First destination: Girton College at the University of Cambridge, Aurora Beatrix Lane's alma mater.

The girls take a quick jaunt to Girton by train and then by bus to have a lil' chat with the dean, who reveals to them that they're looking for the central archive if they're gonna be looking for the deets on a student from a hundred years ago, but uh the archive is closed for the day, please come tomorrow. (Wonder why, maybe it's because they rode from Scotland to Girton by train which takes a shnitload of time. /nsrs but fr tho I wonder if the original Italian had them drive over there by car-- they did rent an SUV, and going by car would be way faster, like it'll only take a seven-hour drive faster) They come back the next day, are let into the archives, and oop, they find a well-preserved diary with Aurora's initials hidden in the Stanley Library.

Y'know what that means, LANE LOOORRRREEEEE

So two months into her accompanying Jan on his excavations, she notes that Jan's been acting a bit sus lately-- being very nervous, being extremely protective over his luggage, being weird about hiding some of the relics he's found, and also a weird-ass incident where while exploring a small village's old castle, Aurora found a hidden chamber with a tome inside that Jan immediately snatched and was like "I'll take care of it don't worry, don't worry about the protocol stuff I'll be fine I'll take care of it". And then he went back to "normal" after that. Hmmmm.

A month later, while Jan was talking with one of his collaborators on their train to England, Aurora stumbled into the tome again, suspiciously in Jan's personal luggage instead of being properly archived and catalogued like it should've been. She read it, saw a thing about the Seven Treasures of the World, and that caused her protagonist genes to kick in since now she's now very tempted to look into finding them and showing them to the world.

After that, she went to some libraries to investigate and eventually decided to confront Jan about the whole treasures thing and his first reaction was he was pissed, calling Aurora a snoop and everything poking into his things. Then after calming down he said "just pretend to not see", but oh no, dear reader, Aurora was not gonna pretend to not see. She ain't gonna pretend to not see the fact that her mentor was actually a treasure hunter and collector who'd been using his occupation as an excuse to snatch some nifty treasures and keep them to himself like every European country who's stolen artifacts from Asian countries ever, ohohohooooo noooo, she's gonna do something about it.

The girls scuttle on over back to Scotland and Beitris, to find that uh oh dear, the thugs came back again and this time they were asking about the girls specifically. Beitris pulled the same trick the girls pulled to get them to leave. So NOW the thugs are looking for the girls for whatever reason and wanna know their deal. Anyway, the girls show Beitris Aurora's diary, tell her about the summary, and also that unfortunately some of the pages are missing, and the diary doesn't say shnit about the tapestry so far. Beitris helps by giving them a letter that Aurora sent to Petra about the tapestry and its treasure, but interestingly mentions that she should "only trust Robert".

Since I haven't mentioned him before, Robert Neville was Aurora's flight tutor, a flying medic, and was toootttallllyyyyy just friends with Aurora you guys they were totally just frie--

He is dead in the present time, but his nephew John Neville is a (former) lighthouse keeper for the Ar-Men lighthouse in the IÎe de Sein, Brittany, France. So the girls head on over there, land in France, insert a thing where Vi feels like she's being watched but is like "maybe it's just a me thing, I dunno".

They head over to the Île de Sein, find an old man who turns out to be John, are invited to his house, tell him about their situation, and John mentions that he himself has been researching like crazy too about Aurora ever since hers and Jan's simultaneous disappearance over the same place at the same time in the same terrible storm. And also the fact that Robert was totally devastated when he got the news and spent years looking for her. He gives them his notes that he's accumulated over decades of researching in his pastime (which amounts to just Aurora's trip to Mexico), and tells them that since Aurora was looking for seven treasures, they'll need to find out where her seven trips took place, which will not be easy because Aurora was extremely secretive, and she only made her first trip even remotely public.

First place is Mexico so might as well head on over-- oh god the holdup-ers are back to holdup.

The thugs snatch Aurora's diary and book it before the girls can do much besides get an impromptu ocean bath, and oh dear, the thugs' boss has them now, and it's not the mafia cosplayer lookin' woman. But that's something I'll address later :3

Nonetheless, they carry on since the thugs never stole John's notebook, and they use it to go to the Puuc Route in Mérida, Yucatán (sounds very specific until you realize that Mérida is the capital of the Yucatán, and one thing everyone and their mother knows about the Mayan ruins there like Chichen Itza) to find more clues.

They do some more research on the Puuc Route, find some clues about "an invisible place, guarded by the chattiest of creatures", discover that it means they have to go to Uxmal, get a dub against the unfortunately acrophobic thugs, and realize that yes, Aurora did in fact sneak another one of her diaries in there.

This one doesn't have as much Lane Lore to contribute besides a clue that the girls find leads to Kannauj, Uttar Pradesh, India, a city known for its perfumes :3 sounds like "sweet winds", doesn't it? Oh and there's also something about a place with two lakes, which turns out to be Lakh Bahosi, a bird sanctuary about an hour's drive away from Kannauj. The girls head on over and try to do some investigating, but it doesn't take them that long to find a pair of grunts struggling under the weight of a very familiar tapestry while their boss was struggling to supervise them with her heels constantly digging into bird sanctuary dirt.

Anyway so the girls concoct a little scheme to steal the tapestry and the thugs fall for it like fish for a fishing lure, and they managed to scatter with the tapestry. After getting to a private space in the sanctuary, they find a clue that leads them to a set of coordinates that they find is a beeg tree. Oh and the treasure seems to be a present that was made for someone close to Mumtaz Mahal, as in "the jewel of the palace", the woman the Taj Mahal was made for; and the tapestry has a set of coordinates that is leading them to a beeg tree, with deep roots/feet. Oh hell yeah it's all comin' together.

They get to the tree, deal with the mafia lady for a little bit, find the treasure, and it turns out it's a very exquisite perfume bottle made of alabaster called "The Perfume of the Earth". They find a little note from Aurora explaining the treasure and its value and the significance of finding it, and now the girls have found the treasure Aurora had been searching for, and now's the time for a villain reveal?

So I haven't talked about him yet and have glossed over this guy for the entire ramble. See the mafia lady, Cassidy? Yeah she's not the big boss here. It's this guy who has a whole secret base in Denali National Park, Alaska, and has been overseeing everything behind the scenes. And by everything, I mean everything: He was alerted to the whole thing with Cassidy's first raid of Beitris's house, found out about the girls' involvement, and for a good half of the book, was trying to figure out what the girls' motives are for interfering with his line of work and what they might know about this whole thing he's looking for, which is the alabaster garden.

This guy has been keeping tabs on the girls through Cassidy and her thugs, who've been stalking the girls ever since France. He and Cassidy figured out in Paris that the girls are Mouseford students on vacation, and he was the one who gave the orders to snatch the journal from there. He was the one who told the goons to tail them to Mexico, and he was the one who managed to look up the girls' names, backgrounds, reasons for being in Scotland, all from the comfort of his base in Alaska. And only then, only then did he go to India himself to supervise and put a cap to his goons' buffoonery.

Who is this guy? Well, he is a treasure hunter who just wants to enjoy the treasures Aurora Beatrix Lane has hidden from his great-grandfather a hundred years ago. That's right, meet Luke Von Klawitz, the current heir to the Klawitz legacy and the treasure trove Jan Von Klawitz left behind in spite of his disappearance. Unfortunately Jan was better (and old enough) to secure a family legacy of greedy artifact hoarding.

So while the girls were in Lakh Bahosi, Luke was too with the goons and Cassidy (who is not his right-hand man and more just... a subordinate trying too hard to impress him), being the babysitter with these guys on leashes, as he tries to keep their stupidity under control. He intercepts the girls as they're about to leave Lakh Bahosi, blocking their path, and asks about the alabaster garden. The girls obviously don't spill and prolly would've gotten themselves blackbagged and interrogated had a friend they made prior to Lakh Bahosi not shown up in her dad's truck and came in clutch. (It sounds cliche and like it came out of nowhere but trust me it makes sense in-universe-- after the girls left the friend's family restaurant that they were hanging at, Luke's goons came over to interrogate them about the girls and where they went. Subtlety, who is she?)

The girls bring the perfume to a nearby university so it can be brought to a museum, send the tapestry back to Beitris, and return home to Whale Island, to read the last bits of Aurora's second journal and presumably to

So that's the book :D I put in a LOT of spoilers, but I'd say that reading the book is still worth it because you'll be able to get the connecting tissues that tie the organs of this story together. H-hopefully this all made sense . .'''

First things first, if you're not used to how Scholastic kids' novels are written, then uh, you might wanna get used to it, because the English translation of Thea Stilton is very... that. It's not beating the kids' book allegations in English, unfortunately. On the brighter side, though, it's pretty good for Scholastic standards! The pacing's very fast, but it feels about right-- gives me the same energy as diving deeper and deeper into a rabbit hole and going to all sorts of places because of the hyperfixation responsible for consuming their sanity for all of a week or so. The dialogue isn't nearly as atrocious as the worst it's capable of being (oh trust me we'll get to that). The tapestry puzzle and how the girls work towards solving it is very coherent and logical for the situation they are in at the beginning, and it's very satisfying to see everything come together and for things to slowly make more and more sense in the poem despite it being as vague and puzzle box-y as it was.

The Lane family lore is very well-thought-out, and Aurora Beatrix Lane is the perfect spiritual predecessor to the girls, what with her love for adventure, love for travel, strong moral compass, and the strong compulsion to elbow drop every single feminine social rule under the sun. I can totally buy her being someone the girls would totally hyperfixate on researching, because she feels like that kind of compelling character-- a passionate young archaeologist who decided to put her own safety on the line for the sake of what she believed in and to dunk on Klawitz and his selfish (and very illegal) goals of hoarding the treasures of the world to himself.

As for the villain, I'll be real gamers, Luke Von Klawitz is probably the most intimidating if not terrifying villain in the entire franchise. He has drones spying on every corner of the world for him, he has goons he can contact at any time and have them do his bidding (to mixed results it seems), he has cutting-edge technology that he uses for terrifying means, all in the safety and comfort of his secret underground base in Alaska where he has his little basement filled to the brim with historical artifacts he's kept all to himself to enjoy. Lemme run this through you again:

He was able to learn the girls names, the university they're studying in, and why they were in Scotland in the first place, all without ever meeting them face-to-face or having his goons interrogate them directly. All he needed to learn all of this was the (not very helpful) research by Cassidy, and a few commands put into his world-connected supercomputer.

Are you intimidated yet? I sure hope you are :D this guy's got a lotta potential is what I'm saying. He's a bit of a brat who wants what he wants and wants it immediately, but he's also a bit of a chess master who looks over things in the background while his minions do all the work for him. Really the only thing holding him back is the incompetency of his goons, and technically it's not even that they're very stupid-- Cassidy and her grunts Stan and Max are very good at swooping in out of nowhere to wreak havoc, dip in and get out before anyone can do anything about it. They're decent if not good at the job they're usually assigned: low-level grunt work. Unfortunately they're not good at much else, which drove Luke insane this entire book, haha.

The girls' dynamic with Cassidy, Stan and Max was refreshing in the sense that the girls aren't always getting punted by them, and the goons aren't always taking Ls just from physical contact with the girls. Cassidy and the goons always had the element of surprise on their side, being able to show up out of nowhere and do their thing before the girls have time to even blink; but once the girls figured out their whole shtick, it was easy to learn that they are easily outclass-able by five mouse Oxford students in braincell count and thus act accordingly. They force the girls to think fast and come up with some snappy plans on the spot, and the girls force Luke to realize he hired Tweedle Dee, Tweedle Dum, and Tweedle Dummy as goons :D

Now uh, I have been complimenting this thing the entire time, but there is one little thing I have an issue within this book, and that is the whole... Power of Friendship thing they've got going on throughout the book.

Yes, unfortunately, the Friendship Curse has claimed this hardcover series too, and while it's not the worst here, it's still... it's still a bit atrocious :D

For instance, the conclusion Cassidy and Luke come to for the girls' reasons for interference is "friendship". Literally, Cassidy literally says to Luke, "It seems they did it out of friendship, Sir", and then Luke responds with an evil cackle and is like "FRIENDSHIP? THE POWER OF FRIENDSHIP DOESN'T EXIST IN THIS WORLD! AIN'T NO WAAAAYYYYY THEY'RE NOT FIVE SCHEMERS WHO WANNA GET THE TREASURES THEMSELVES", which is like... I don't get that vibe from Luke anywhere else in the book? Luke values efficiency and getting what he wants-- he's not hired Cassidy to be all buddy-buddy with her, he hired her for a job and she has to work to fulfill said job. He just wants competent employees, and y'know what, that's valid. Not a single part in that have I seen "ew power of friendship". It's very villain for the sake of villainy kind of energy, which I don't think fits Luke with the other bits of information we get of him? He's following his great-granddad's footsteps-- not a single minute of that did that mean "the spirit of friendship doesn't exist get yo head outa the cotton candy"

Then there's... how this applies to the girls.

inhales

WHY DID THEY MAKE VIOLET THE GROUP'S FRIENDSHIP PROPHET GRAAAAHHHH

I probably would make a full-blown rant about this at some point, but one thing I never liked about any of the hardcovers was how Violet of all people is the group's assigned friendship prophet. She'd occasionally make a comment about how uh something something the power of love is the strongest of all, and every single time I don't like it :D

Sure fine you can chalk it up to character development since her early months in Mouseford, but in the earlier books it's heavily established that she's the pragmatic one, the braincell keeper, the one who keeps the girls' group ADHD on track or the one who reminds them that "hey we've been at this for a really long time and it's now 2AM, we should really turn in now". Being a friendship prophet is a Colette thing, not a Violet thing, and I'm not trying to insult Colette or anything like that. I would be far more okay with it if Colette was the one to go on about the "power of love" because she's literally the HOPELESS ROMANTIC! She's the one with her head in the clouds, the one most likely to fangirl about ships in movies, the one who chooses to ship Romeo and Juliet and pretend to not see the entire second act of said play for the sake of believing in love.

If Colette had a line where she gushed about the power of friendship, I would've just chalked it up to "that cheesy-ass statement is something she'd totally say ngl", as opposed to the jarring whiplash I get from seeing Violet of all people call upon the Power of Friendship.

Again, probably will rant about this at some point (lemme know if you're into that idea), but yeah -m-

Literally just chuck the power of friendship bits and replace them with something more practical/realistic/grounded/whateveryouwannacallit, and it's basically perfect! Even the bits where the girls make friends on their journey is believable! Those don't have to be altered at all! Geuh it drives me insane, almost to the point of wanting to do something about it....

Well, that's enough rambling for today. I can't use up all my steam on this first book-- I plan on making ramblings for the second and third books, after all.

See ya Stilton fans, and for the newcomers from Twitter, welcome :D I hope you enjoy your stay :D

#geronimo stilton #thea stilton #thea sisters #book review #book rant #book rambles #unfortunately treasure seekers 3 isn't available on the archive as far as I'm seeing :'3 #which is disappointing because GWAAAHHH #not gonna give any spoilers but it and book 1 are tied for my favorite in the trilogy #i remember reading the first treasure seekers and immediately feeling nostalgic because i severely missed the girls treasure hunting #high stakes and all that crazy stuff that the older books delivered #tangoing with some crazy villains with some hella power and not like the latter four graphic novels did #i missed that a lot so having it in treasure seekers made my at-the-time 15-year-old self very happy #ipads dieded rn but once i get it back and fixed and hopefully not factory reset i should draw some treasure seekers doodles fr #maybe something like i dunno aurora beatrix lane #who knows :]

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lakesbian · 10 months

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Worm Ask:

Perdition and the Yangban, what are your thoughts?

well obviously the yangban is ridiculously sinophobic. i was adding Wildbow Moment points to the Wildbow Moment Counter more or less every time they were mentioned. so so visibly written by a guy whose only perception of china is that it's an Evil Regimented Communist Cult Country Comprised Entirely Of Bad Stupid Brainwashed People With No Individuality (Unlike Us Special Americans). will never be over how funny and ridiculous it is when the characters in the story outright acknowledge that the yangban were literally right abt the PRT sucking but this doesn't change anything abt their opinions on the yangban because [taylor voice] whereas the PRT is simply a flawed system that could've been freed of its corruption and fixed the yangban is just like. inherently evil and fucked up by dint of being chinese.

anyway. perdition is fucking hilarious. like he sucks. he's fucking insufferable. he plays LoL. it's so funny how he's there during the travelers' arc and it's all like "huh i wonder what happened 2 him/when he'll show back up since he's not with the main team in the present day?" and then he still doesn't show up for like 7 more arcs and when he Does finally appear literally all he does is be annoying and misogynist, fuck everything up, and then fuck off into the distance never to be seen again. accord fucking sold him to one direction. it's so funny. he sucks and his life sucks.

that said. i also genuinely love his sole appearance. because despite the fact that i had to read wildbow's terrible sinophobic opinions about china during it, and despite the fact that he's a clown, he's a fantastic little feature for the simurgh. i love the detail that he'd been hearing the simurgh screaming in his head for months and months on end without realizing, that he only notices the noise once it cuts out after he's done something terrible and unfixable, and he's left with the horrible silence as he finally processes out what she made him do. the simurgh is such an incredibly cool concept bc like. as taylor puts it. you win the battle but lose the war with her. society plays all these charades about trying to stop her or minimize her damage, but none of them work. the madison quarantine zone doesn't stop noelle from happening, and it's still in place long after she's already died, with all of the people the simurgh had no plans for still trapped inside. the madison quarantine zone doesn't stop perdition from being turned into one long rube-goldberg machine of tragedy, where he ends up in just the right place at just the right time to make an already bad endbringer fight that much worse, and he suffers all the way through it. and nobody ever realizes! nobody will ever know that he did that solely because the simurgh got to him. it's such a perfectly unsettling example of how there's nothing anyone can actually do against the simurgh, because she's going to keep getting shots against humanity in ways no one will even notice. everyone is so so paranoid about her and they never even notice the knives she's stuck in their backs. i've never seen this movie before so if this simile doesn't work just smile and nod anyway but she's like if the experience of watching It Follows was a kaiju. it rocks. perdition's interlude sucks overall but that one part is such a special little fucked up look into exactly why the simurgh is terrifying. did i mention i love the simurgh.

#ask #worm spoilers #scarf don't look

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butchhamlet · 1 year

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what are your favourite things about king lear? also do you know any really good productions that i can watch online for free? asking because i didn’t really like king lear when i read it (except for edmund. i love edmund) and knowing why other people like it might let me look at it from a different angle. because i know it’s objectively a good play, and there’s a 50% chance of me having to study it next year so i want to like it

so i started writing a response to this ask and then paused to plot out my points (as if writing a goddamn essay) and then i looked at my points and i had written

fucked-up families

apocalypse vibes

women are hot

which. yeah, that's it, isn't it

anyway, to elaborate on that: i will admit that some of this is just personal preference, because i love stories about complicated nuclear-waste-toxic family dynamics, and lear is, like, one of the original Nuclear Waste Family Dynamic plays. (so is the oreisteia, incidentally.) what gets me specifically is that this is a play about power, yeah, but also about love: everybody in lear wants love, and nobody is getting enough of it. and the dynamics of the two families here get immediately more interesting if this isn't JUST a who-inherits-the-throne thing. edmund wants political sway, yeah, but maybe he also wants to be seen as more than a bastard. goneril kills her sister out of jealousy, yeah, but also, has she ever had a person care about her like edmund? (does he care about her? how much of the love triangle is about love vs lust vs calculation? these are questions that could be answered a thousand ways.)

i also read this play counter to old white guy traditional scholarship because i think lear (the guy) sucks. sorry. i think he sucks. i think he's terrifying and tyrannical and his daughters can do whatever they want (imo, his main problem is trying to apply his political power to his personal relationships, and that's not something caused by his senility. goneril and regan state at the end of 1.1 that, while he's going off the deep end a little more these days, "the best and soundest of his time hath been but rash." this guy has always sucked). speaking of goneril and regan, they're not evil hags--they're women trying to live with an unpredictable father, as well as trying to retain the little power they have in a male-dominated world. (notably, regan's husband is on her team, while goneril's isn't, and lear seems to have a lot of hatred for goneril specifically. which colors how both of them interact with power, edmund, and each other.)

i could actually talk about lear family dynamics forever (do cordelia's sisters love her, resent her, or both? how does edgar feel about edmund? how does edmund feel about edgar, for that matter? does he feel guilty at all for doing what he does? does edgar feel guilty about killing him? is the relationship between lear and gloucester entirely professional, or are they friends? can lear even have friends when he sees everything as some sort of zero-sum power love game? is kent gay for lear? <- yes) but i won't. because i have another point to make!

which is that it's somewhat comforting to me, in an era of [gestures at the news and broad state of the world], to read a play where people are like "holy fuck the world's going to shit and all the rules of society are inverted!" i read lear for the first time during pandemic quarantine, so. it felt fitting. your mileage may vary here (maybe you prefer escapism), but i think one could draw a lot of parallels between lear and [gestures out the window again]. this play is bleak in a way that few other shakespeare plays are bleak. (maybe timon of athens.) it's set in pre-christian britain, and the gods are invoked, but they're not really present. no one who appeals to higher powers ever seems to get any help or even comfort. and the original story of king leir didn't end Like That. shakespeare decided his play was going to end with the emotional equivalent of getting bricked in the face. cordelia's death doesn't mean anything at all! it didn't have to happen! edmund tried to stop it! she doesn't die in the original myth! and yet we're left with this horrifying apocalyptic last scene, where all the struggles for love and power come to almost nothing. maybe, if one is concerned about current events, this would make one feel worse. but i fucking love tragic catharsis and i feel bleak about the modern world so this horrible upsetting play is quite close to my heart <3

finally: i've already touched on Hot Women, but . i am a simple butch. i think goneril and regan are soooooo sexy. i love when women are mean and ruthless. i love when women kill with swords. i think conflating the two of them/treating them like two halves of the same Evil Daughter Character is a cardinal sin of shakespeare studies; you have to be reading with your eyes shut not to note stuff like regan's desire to outdo goneril, goneril's comparative lack of fulfilling relationships (re: lear fucking hates her and her husband sucks), or the differences in their dynamic with edmund (regan is still mourning cornwall at this point--does she love edmund at all, or is she just playing the political long game?). and cordelia, too, is more than just the Angelic Good Daughter; she's on stage much less frequently, but she shows a stubborn virtue that honestly borders on naivete and maybe an inclination toward martyrdom. how does she feel about her father? does she really forgive him? how does she feel about her sisters, for that matter? i'm not saying this play is, like, the most feminist shakespeare play ever written; i just really love the lear sisters.

other misc stuff: the themes are tasty! look at the authoritarianism! (is it right for one man to have this much power? see that line about the king being a wheel rolling down a hill destroying everything in his path as he destroys himself, or whatever). look at the gender dynamics! (goneril's dominance over albany and edmund in turn; the question of her womb; the mutual violence of regan and cornwall; cordelia leading an army.) look at the debate about fate and predestination! (#redditatheist edmund i love you). ++ the fact that it's set in some kind of nebulous unclear time period and the fool sings about merlin who wasn't even alive yet. i just think it's neat <3

as far as productions, i have a friend who swears by the bob jones university prod, though i haven't seen it in full (hi @lizardrosen :D). i also hav NTLive and RSC lears somewhere, i think, but shhhhh don't tell

i'd apologize for this ask being this long, but when my parents asked me to explain the plot of lear to them in 2020 i talked for 25 minutes so i guess we're all getting off lucky here

#max.txt #asks #dm me if you want those. i think i have them.#to be clear you do not have to like king lear. you can thikn whatever you want about king lear #but i like it a lot so here are some of the reasons why <3 #lear

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snootlestheangel · 3 months

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@stuffireadandenjoy

More Bailey feelings

I was watching a compilation of Nik moments/interactions in both MW2 and MW3 and just realized he's like one of the coolest motherfuckers on the planet

Bailey hearing that Price is married. Laswell asking Price something and mentioning this "Nik" person. She doesn't want to pry into Price's personal life, and he doesn't seem to be a very open person. (Price is just emotionally constipated, it's okay sweetie)

She first sees Nik in passing. He's been the one transporting most of the survivors out of the 141 base. She has the instinctive response of "oh shit he looks like one of the men I was stuck with during the quarantine that was NOT a good person". She finds out he's Price's husband and is trying to tell herself "he doesn't seem like a bad person. Both Laswell and Price trust him, so I should too"

Bailey is terrified the first time she has to interact with Nik. She hasn't even seen him yet but the idea that she has to is scary enough.

But then she sees Nik walking towards them with his swagger walk and his cool sunglasses and that dope leather jacket and she's just like "oh okay, I guess I'm just paranoid"

And then when he actually speaks?? Maybe not addressing her directly but the first time she hears him speak??? He's just so Russian and just so casual and he intentionally says something to fluster Price

And Bailey wants to laugh. Wants to laugh cause he's clearly not a threat to her at all and he's so totally the opposite of what she expected that it's so relieving its almost comical.

Bailey who does befriend one of Gaz's little cousins. Gaz's mom and his aunt are pretty far apart in age, and their kids also end up with age gaps. Gaz and his sisters are between the ages of like 24-30 his cousins are all between the ages of 13-19.

Gaz's youngest cousin is Ava, who sees the new girl in her class and instantly has a "target acquired" moment for acquiring a new best friend. Ava who is a bit of an outcast from the social circles forming amongst the other 13 year old girls.

Bailey ends up actually meeting Gaz before ever finding out he works with Price. Bailey was invited by Ava to join her to the local fair or something. It was originally just her siblings and her, but then Gaz came back home on leave and decided to be "cool older cousin" and take them instead of Ava's mom.

He's actually so good at putting Bailey at ease it's honestly incredible. She has a couple of "oh shit crowds" moments but Gaz is playing it off and is like "Yeah we'll go do this thing instead to avoid the lines. Lines suck, we're just trying to have fun, yeah?"

And it works. Bailey has a lot of fun despite still seeming very anxious the entire time.

Ava and Bailey become inseparable over time. Ava definitely hits another kid for them saying something mean about Bailey. Gaz finds out and is definitely laughing his ass off. Until he remembers he has to go home eventually and face the wrath of both his mum and his aunt for teaching his little cousin how to throw a proper punch.

Bailey hugging Ghost. That's it, that's the feeling.

Bailey hugging any of them to be honest.

Bailey's first night home and she can't sleep so Price stays with her until she does fall asleep, except he also falls asleep. Nik waking up to see Price laying flat on his back in Bailey's bed with her curled up against his side.

Bailey getting her period and having horrendous cramps. She's just borderline miserable as she lays in her bed all day.

Surprisingly, both her fathers are good at acting natural about the whole situation, even if it's just checking in on her a bit more frequently and being a bit more hovering.

She's too emotional to not cry when Nik cryptically leaves only to come back with her favorite snacks. He genuinely doesn't understand why she's crying and oh god Bailey please it's okay and "oh fuck, I made her cry, John is gonna kill me"

Nik ends up sitting on her bed and holding her for a bit to help her feel better. It's still relatively soon after she started getting closer to him, so Nik's a bit in over his head with the whole situation.

Price checks in on her only to see her dozing off in Nik's arms. Nik is getting teary and Price can't tell if it's because they're getting closer or because he's so confused as to what happened.

#so many feelings for this precious child #cod oc bailey #bailey gray #dad!price #dad!nik #nikprice #pricenik #nikprice and their adopted daughter #to love to let go

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sunflowerkissess · 2 years

Text

one angry voicemail

masterlist

summary: mateo left harry an angry voicemail for not answering his nightly routine of calling harry before he went to bed, giving harry the thing that was missing for one of his songs in his new album

word count: 4.5k+

warnings: language, fluff, minor angst (just mateo being angry, i promise), mentions of smut

Feedback and reblogs are appreciated!

Enjoy!

—

It is safe to say that for everyone, especially people who don’t like being in one place for a long time away from their families for a long time, that quarantine sucked. The borders were shut down and the whole entire world was on shut down due the outbreak of the virus.

Harry and Y/N have gotten into an argument about him being across the world in California while they were in the UK. While it was unplanned for him to be in California, it still hurt that he wasn’t there with her and Mateo. Seeing him around the house, hearing his voice and laughter, playing around with Mateo, having movie nights together, going out to the park or visiting Anne, doing their usual family thing.

It hurt Y/N a million times when Mateo would go into her and Harry’s room and jump on their bed and snuggle into his mum's side under the comforter and sheets. Asking her every night before he went to bed by her side when his daddy was going to come home because he missed him a whole bunch. Y/N would tell him she misses him a whole bunch as well and just wish with all their hearts that he’ll come home faster than ever.

They both just wanted to hear his accented voice again after not hearing it for a month and luckily that all changed when one night Harry called, surprising Y/N and Mateo when Harry’s caller ID popped up on the glass screen of Y/N’s phone. The same picture that is in their hallway of Y/N and Harry kissing each cheek of five month old Mateo, who was staring into the camera.

And boy, oh boy were they excited when they heard Harry’s deep accented voice speak through the speaker of her phone with a ‘hello?’ Y/N felt her heart flutter in happiness from hearing her fiancés voice after not hearing it for so long. A big smile stretched across her lips that seemed to not go away and when she went to go say a greeting to him, Mateo beat her to it.

A smile that he inherited from Harry, along with the dimples appearing on each side of his lips as he squealed as loud as he could since Y/N had her phone pressed to her ear. It was a simple hello to Harry, making Harry laugh in Y/N’s ear. The laugh makes Y/N smile even more, along with her heart fluttering against her chest. Despite an on-coming headache she’s going to get from the squeal that escaped Mateo’s mouth. But it’s not anything to complain about.

He was four years old, he was meant to be excited to hear his daddy’s voice through the phone. And it was an adorable moment from their son.

And from that moment on, they decided to have two nightly routine phone calls before Y/N and Mateo went to bed. The first phone call is for Mateo to talk about what he did during the day and the second one being for Y/N and Harry when Mateo is asleep in his room.

Just a private moment between Y/N and Harry. It depends on the day if the two of them are in the mood to have phone sex or just want to have a sweet moment on the phone before she headed to bed for the night.

But there was one night when Harry missed Mateo’s call, making the four year old extremely mad at his daddy. And he let Harry know by leaving a very angry voicemail for Harry to listen to later on.

—

Y/N was sitting in her and Harry’s bed, already in her black long-sleeved pajama set for the night. The bedding over her pajama clad legs. Making her extra warm for the night and making her already tired. But the light bouncing from the four year old next to her was keeping her up as he waited for her to pick up her phone and call Harry.

It was a pattern where either Harry would call first or Y/N would call first. Depends on who beats the other with a phone call.

And seeing that Harry hasn’t called yet at the usual time he calls, which is the time now. Y/N makes the decision that it is her turn to call her fiancé. While Mateo’s attention wasn’t focused on what his mother was doing, his attention was fixated on the television screen in front of the bed and on the wall. The light from the screen was illuminating the room, shining on the two people who were sitting in the bed with shadows casting on the wall along with other shadows that were in Harry and Y/N’s bedroom.

The television wasn’t the only light in the room, the bedside tables that were on either side of the bed was casting a light glow on the walls that was overcome by the light from the television. Both lights casting on the drawn.

Aladdin was playing, the movie just started a few minutes ago since Mateo had just got done with getting a bath.

His chocolate curls are now fluffy, soft, clean as well as himself. Getting all the dirt and germs off his skin that would make himself even more dirty. Wearing a blue twilight dino pajama set. The shirt with a light green dinosaur with a lighter green along its spine. It had an astronaut helmet on its head along with white stars one either side of the dinosaur. A matching light green color along the neckline of the shirt that matched the color of the dino.

The shorts being a light grey with white stars all over it and a matching blue twilight for a tie to keep the shorts up.

Y/N smiled at her son and reached her ringless left hand, since her engagement ring was resting on her bedside table in a small ring box to make sure that she doesn’t lose it. She placed her left hand in the soft curls and combed her fingers through them lightly as she reached for her phone.

The lock screen lit up from when she tapped on the screen. The picture makes her smile. It was one of the three of them in Malibu with their friends. Twelve days after the met gala. It was a picture taken by one of their friends, and the picture was taken from the side.

It was of Y/N and Harry crouched down next to a three year old Mateo in the wet sand with the waves covering their bare feet and up to their ankles.

Both Y/N and Harry's eyes were covered by sunglasses, but you could tell that they were so happy from the big smiles plastered on their faces. Harry was wearing a blue and white tie dye shirt with yellow shorts, both showing off his tattoos on his legs and arms. The tie dye shirt having two unicorns on it that Y/N thought was really cute on her long term boyfriend, well now fiancé since when that picture was taken Harry had recently proposed to her a few days prior.

Mateo was wearing a sky-blue swim shirt with a matching bucket hat over his curls along with cute little swim trunks that had sky blue, yellow, and orange all over the white fabric of the trunks. With palm trees and leaves all over it along with toucan birds as well. It was an adorable outfit that Gemma picked out for Mateo when she had him when Y/N and Harry went out on a lunch date. Giving Gemma the chance at spoiling her nephew when she had the chance.

And Y/N was wearing a black and white hooded cover-up tunic that went over her mint kiss two-piece bikini since she wasn't planning to go swimming in the salty ocean water during that time. Both her and Harry were holding Mateo’s hands while Mateo had his mouth open in a squeal that she could hear through the photo. Along with Harry and Y/N’s laughter.

Y/N stared and smiled at the picture for a few minutes more before swiping across the glass screen and out in her password to get into her phone to go to her contacts to call Harry for Mateo’s nightly routine of saying ‘good night’ to his daddy before going to bed. Once her phone unlocked with a small ‘click’ and her home screen popped up, there was a simple picture of a sleeping Harry and Mateo on the couch in the family room of their home, the sunlight shining through the curtains from the window behind them.

Y/N glanced back at the four year old that was sitting beside her, his green eyes that he got from his father were stuck on the screen before him. Watching as Aladdin helped Jasmine in the market from getting in trouble. She combed her fingers through his curls once more before picking her phone up from the bedside table, clicking the familiar green icon with a white phone on it and scrolling down until she found Harry’s contact.

“You ready to call daddy, bub?” Y/N asked the four year old, gaining his attention now instead of the movie that was playing on the big pixelated screen before the two of them. His green eyes widening in excitement and happiness to call his father finally along with his mouth open agape in surprise that left his mum’s mouth. His heart beating happily against his chest and excitement in his belly about hearing his father’s voice today.

“Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes!” Mateo exclaimed happily and he turned to face his mum, bouncing happily in his spot on the bed. Moving Y/N along with his movements and making her laugh in joy about how happy her son is to talk to his dad. He crawled over to his mum’s side to see his mummy call his dad and hold the phone up to his small ear so he could hear his daddy’s voice.

“Okay, okay, okay, okay,” Y/N laughed, wrapping the hand that was once in his curls went to wrap around his shoulders to pull him closer to her side. Giving his shoulder a gentle squeeze as she clicked onto Harry’s contact the familiar picture popping up that was still the same the first time Harry called. The cute picture of the two of them kissing a five month old Mateo’s cheeks as he stared into the camera.

“Let’s call daddy and hope he answers.” Y/N said, hoping in her head that he does answer. There is a time difference, it's nine at night and it's two in the afternoon in California. They were seven hours ahead and he was seven hours behind. Their day was at its end and his was still in its beginning, halfway through to be exact.

Mateo had a hopeful smile on his face as he watched his mum press the call button on Harry’s contact info and held the phone up to Mateo’s little ear. Mateo placed his small hand on his mum’s to keep the phone up to his ear, the ringing flooding in his ear. Making his heart beat excitedly against his chest as each ring flooded into his ear. Making him hopeful that his daddy would answer the phone so he could tell his daddy about learning how to write his name and his letters and numbers. Along with fun board games, activities, projects along with everything Y/N saw on the internet to do with him so he wouldn’t get too bored in the same house with the same four walls.

Y/N watched her son’s face as the smile got bigger on his face when the ringing stopped, but then his smile dropped into a small frown when the sound of Harry’s accented voice filled in for a message before the beep for the caller to leave a voicemail for him when he can get to his phone to see who tried to call him.

Y/N felt her heartbreak seeing her son upset, his brows pinched together in an angry way and his lips still in a frown. Harry had to be busy to have missed Mateo’s call or had the ringer off. There’s no way that Harry would ignore a call from his son, Harry wasn’t like that. Even if he had a bad day, he wouldn’t take it out on his son or Y/N.

Mateo’s hand on her hand dropped onto the bedding and he opened his mouth once the small beep after the message ended stopped and left silence for the caller to leave a message. “Come on, daddy, we wanna say goodnight to you.” He spoke angrily into the phone, his little accented voice full of anger and disappointment before he pulled his ear away from the phone. Leaving the message full of silence afterwards and allowed her to take the phone away from him and end the call.

After she did so and placed her phone on the charger and back on the bedside table, she turned her attention back to the pouting four year old, who was still next to her. Her heartbreaking more and more as she looked at her upset son. She scooted as close as she could to her son, her arm still wrapped around his shoulders and pulled him closer. Leaning down and pressed a kiss to his curls, comforting the upset four year old.

Telling him that his daddy didn’t purposefully miss his call and that she’ll have a talk to him and that Harry would call him tomorrow morning to make up time. And the four year old believed his mum’s words, making her pinky promise that what she said is true. And she did so.

Promising him that his daddy will call him tomorrow to make up the missed phone call. And for the rest of the duration of the time that Mateo was up, he and Y/N finished watching Aladdin in the dark after she turned the bedside lamps off. Mateo passed out after a few minutes into another Disney movie that Y/N picked, allowing her to turn the television off completely. Leaving the two of them in complete darkness.

Y/N laid fully down on the bed, with Mateo still snuggled in her side, and closed her eyes in hopes of getting enough sleep for tomorrow.

And just to let you know, Mateo did get a call from his dad in the morning during breakfast time after a phone call with Y/N last night when Y/N snuck out of the room to talk to Harry when he called an hour later. And Mateo had let him know that he was mad at him from making silly little threats to Harry for not answering his phone call the night prior.

And Harry promised to not miss another phone call ever again from his son.

He never did. But that voicemail did give a finishing touch on one of Harry’s songs on his new album.

—

Two years later, Harry’s third album was announced March 23 in an album trailer and then later on that month a trailer for Harry’s single As It Was, was released and then the actual music video came out. And a certain voice in the beginning was played in the beginning that caught everyone’s attention. A voice of Harry’s son that everyone knows the name of but not the face, of course Mateo was a lot older when that voicemail was recorded.

But it was everyone’s actual first time hearing Mateo’s voice clearly, rather than hearing it far in the background in other interviews or muffled.

It was adorable hearing Harry’s son’s angry accented voice in the music video, finding it adorable rather than upsetting.

And everyone loved it, except for a certain someone. And that certain someone was the owner of that voice.

When Y/N and Mateo were listening to the song with Harry in the same room to see their reaction. The now six year old was picking at his pink painted nails that were chipping off as he listened to his father’s album. He was sitting between Y/N and Harry, looking between his parents to see their facial reactions to see if he had the right reaction for the right time.

Y/N and Harry had to stifle their laughter when Mateo's cheeks turned red when he heard his voice in the beginning of the song. Making the six year old stop picking at the chipped polish on his nails and turning his attention to his father.

His green eyes glaring into Harry's. Harry had to press his lips together to stop the smile from stretching across his face and a laughter from bursting out. Even if Mateo is "trying" to act mad at his dad, it was adorable. And Y/N was doing the same as they watched the six year old cross his arms against his chest as he cleared his throat before saying.

"Daddy,"

"Mateo," Harry nodded at his son, the song playing in the background. Mateo grumbled at his father before continuing what he was going to say.

"For using my voice in your song, I'm giving you a big fee." He stated, raising his brows at Harry to see if his father had any objections to what he just said. And when there wasn't any he continued. "The fee is you doing my nails and you making me my favorite cookies. And we watch Encanto as many times as I like. Lots of cuddles. And… we'll have to sing to every single song, mummy included."

Y/N and Harry shared a brief look, trying not to laugh at their son's "big fee" that he's giving his father. It was cute that Mateo doesn't know the full understanding of a fee, but he still used his imagination. And it was enough to make his parents awe at how adorable he is.

The six year old began fumbling with his fingers as continued to sit between his parents as the three of them sat in silence before he took in a deep breath before complementing his father's song.

"But it's really good, daddy. I love it."

Harry smiled at the six year old and wrapped his right arm around Mateo’s shoulders and pressed a kiss to his chocolate curls and laughed softly. Jolting Mateo from his laughter. “Thanks bud.” Y/N awed at the sight and how shy Mateo got and looked down at his lap and fiddled with his fingers again.

“You’re welcome, daddy.” He then shrugged off Harry’s shoulder and stood up from the bed and stood in front of his parents and looked at both of them. Straightening up to make himself seem taller than his parents even though they’re a lot taller than him when they stand up.

His green eyes went from Harry to Y/N and Y/N to Harry before he opened his mouth and announced.

“I’ll be downstairs, waiting in the kitchen for you and mummy to make me cookies then cuddle while watching Encanto because I don’t feel like having my nails done today.”

He then turned on his heel and walked out of the room with his curls bouncing on top of head. Once Mateo is out of hearing range, Y/N and Harry meet each other’s eyes and begin laughing. Both of them leaned closer and shook the bed from their combined laughter. Y/N head ended up on Harry’s shoulder and Harry’s head ended on top of hers. He placed a ring clad hand on her knee and gave it squeezes as they continued to laugh at their son’s adorableness and his demands.

“Well, it’s nice to know where he gets his dramatic side from.” Y/N laughed softly, clutching her stomach that held their second child. She was one month into her pregnancy, so her belly wasn’t able to make out just yet. She looked up at her fiancé with a knowing look to which Harry opened his mouth to pretend to be shocked at such an allegation.

Even though it was the truth that he can be a tad bit dramatic at times, and it just so happened that their son got that trait from Harry. As well as the shyness and a few other traits that were a part of Mateo’s personality that he got from Harry. As well as a few things from Y/N were a part of Mateo’s personality as well.

Y/N moved her head off his shoulder and copied his reaction to what she just said to him. “What? Are you shocked that I told the truth? That our son acts exactly like you?” Harry’s face of shock immediately dropped, and his lips turned into a smile, his poking out on each end of his lips with a shake of his head.

His eyes closed as a laugh that makes Y/N happy, along with everything else that’s her fiancé. She placed her left hand on the hand that was on her knee and squeezed it like he did her knee as he continued to laugh. She joined in, loving to see Harry laugh at what she said.

Even though it’s the truth.

Harry then turned his head to look at Y/N, his olive eyes now on display. Him only looking at her alone with the smile still on his face made her heart flutter against her chest and that familiar shiver go down her spine, along with her cheeks heating up. All the signs of him making her flustered made a smirk appear on the brunette’s lips, he knew when she was being together for nine and a half years, about to be together for ten later on in April. Harry leaned forward, removing his hand from under hers and from her knee to cup her jaw, caressing her cheek bone (that he’s a hundred percent sure sent more shivers down her spine) and felt the heat that was radiating off her cheek.

Y/N leaned into his touch and forward and nudged the tip of her nose against the bridge of his nose, making the two of them smile at the small affection that she initiated. Harry continued to caress her cheek bone and repeated the affection she did not too long ago before leaning forward and pressing their temples together. All the feelings that you get when you’re with someone you love and have been together with for a long time and those feelings never go away.

“You’re cute when you’re flustered, y’know that?” Harry teased, making Y/N groan at her fiancés flirtatious tease that made her cheeks heat up even more and become even more and more bubbly because of Harry’s words.

“Shut up.” Y/N demanded with a bashful smile on her face, making Harry laugh and having his fresh breath hit her face. Harry hummed at her words and moved his head side to side as if he was thinking. Prolonging the moment they have together before he spoke once again.

“I don’t think I would, because it gets you going like this. And you’re cute when you’re like this. But then again, you’re always beautiful when you’re not all flustered.” He flirted, making Y/N roll her eyes at her fiancés flirty antics that always worked. But it worked the other way around as well.

“Harry,” She breathed, her eyes zeroing in on his pink lips. Wanting to kiss him and she knew that he wanted to kiss her by the way he was looking at her lips. The butterflies and hearts fluttering against their chest has gotten stronger, both of their eyes on each other's lips.

“Y/N,” Harry breathed, repeating her tone. She moved her hands up to cup his face and pulled him closer and closed her eyes, smelling his cologne that she loved a lot that he wore a million times and it never got old. She was getting impatient, as well as Harry

“Kiss me please?” She asked, to which Harry didn’t wait any longer with a murmur of ‘gladly’ before pressing his soft lips against hers. Igniting fireworks, butterflies, heart fluttering, and shivers between the two of them. Harry’s eyes now closed and his hand on her jaw joined its twin on her waist to pull her closer. Their lips moving together happily, occasional squeezes on her hips while Y/N’s hands went into Harry’s curls.

This moment went on for a few more seconds before Y/N pulled away, panting along with Harry. She combed her fingers through his hair gently as the two of them caught their breath before speaking once again. They had to head downstairs to meet their son down in the kitchen to make his favorite cookies and watch Encanto for what feels like the millionth time. And they’re for sure know the movie word or word, speaking or singing from how many times they watched that movie.

As much as she wanted to stay in their room with her fiancé, they had to meet with their six year old son in the kitchen. And Harry had to pay the fee that he’s been given.

“Come on,” Y/N sighed, standing up from their bed and held out a hand for Harry to take. “Let’s get going before Mateo comes back up here and drags us out by our hair while complaining about how slow we are.” Harry looked up at her with a raised brow as he looked at her curiously. She raised her brows and widened her eyes a little as she looked at Harry and directed the attention to the open door to the side to tell him that they better get going to meet up with their son.

Harry sighed dramatically and tossed his head back with his eyes closed, giving more proof for Y/N’s case that their son has indeed inherited his father’s dramatic side and there’s a whole list and this just made it. This made Y/N laugh quickly at how cute and funny her fiancé is. She wiggled her fingers and sighed his name to get his attention.

Harry brought his head forward and opened his eyes to look at her. “Are you sure he can’t wait for a little bit longer, I liked what was going on before.” He asked, earning an eye roll from Y/N. She wiggled her fingers at him with huff.

“He can’t and he won’t. He will start shouting up from downstairs for us and telling us to hurry up and then he’ll come up here and actually drag us out of the room. Now come on.” She stated firmly.

Harry took her hand with a smirk on his face as the two of them began walking to their bedroom door. “And I wonder where he got that from?” Y/N looked over her shoulder with a small smirk with a roll of her eyes.

“Shut up.”

Making Harry laugh at her words and her joining in as the two of them ventured down the pink stairs to go to the kitchen to join their son so they could make his favorite cookies that Harry has to make for the fee that he’s been given.

—

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batfam-rewrites · 7 months

Text

Batfam During Quarantine: 27 Minutes (Remastered)

Batfam During Quarantine: 27 Minutes

Hey, quick heads up, this is a slightly reworked version of the third post I made for this series. My continuity on this series got really messed up for a bit and I have so many drafts that I still have yet to publish so I'm going through all of my old stuff to fix the chronology of the stories and also put a bit more pressure on me to finish this series. Please keep in mind that my writing skills kinda improve throughout the series, but this one has been the most reworked so far, and there is a good chance this will be reworked again in the future.

Dick: Good morning adopted dad!

Bruce: *grunts*

Tim: Bruce is so stressed out. Yesterday I watched him stare at a page load for 1 second and he screamed his head off. He almost destroyed the computer.

Jason: I literally saw him counting grey hairs the other day. Whatever it is it must be Tim’s fault.

Tim: Don’t you blame this on me....

Dick: *speaks over Tim* Okay so anyway, here’s the challenge, *speaks a bit lower* first person to make Bruce smile gets to drive the Batmobile on their next patrol.

Cassandra: Awesome, how do we decide who.......

Jason: *walks over to Bruce*

Cassandra: Never mind.

Jason: Hey Bruuuuuce.

Bruce: *glares at Jason while slurping coffee*

Jason: Want some breakfast? *turns on stove* How about some eggs!

Bruce: What do you want?

Jason: Nothing! Just to see my *pauses a bit* old man smile.

Bruce: I will shank you.

Jason: Loving this new color on you? You should be pissed off all the time.

Bruce: Go away.

Jason: Okay......d.....d...da...

Alfred: Don’t burst a blood vessel Jason.

Jason: No, I can do this. Da......d.a....dad *sighs and puts his hand on the stove* AHHH, FUCKER!

Bruce: Jason, are you okay!

Jason: GET AWAY FROM ME, I CAN DO THIS BY MYSELF BRUCE! *quickly runs to the bathroom to run cold water over his hand*

Duke: Well that was entertaining!

Cassandra: *lays head on Bruce’s shoulder and hugs him*

Bruce: *hugs Cassandra back but no smile*

Damian: Father, I brought you a gift. *pulls out a picture of the entire batfamily together*

Bruce: *Bruce smiles* Thanks Damian, that’s really thoughtful of you.

Damian: *turns towards everyone and points* YES SUCK IT LOSERS!

Daily Briefing

Dick: Okay, so we have reached a low point of criminal activity for Gotham City which is a good thing.

Cassandra: A bit funny how it took a pandemic to make Gotham a bit peaceful.

Dick: Exactly my point. Now, with that said, we will still be doing patrols starting at 11. Tim, this is your week on sanitation duty. Throughout the day we will train a bit harder than normal. There will be scheduled times and you will each have partners. Try to train no less than two and a half hours a day. Training should include sparing, cardio, strength, and tumbling. Try to spar with someone new every week.

Dick: Also Jason, you remember when you said you wish you could fall like me.

Jason: I was being sarcastic.

Dick: I will finally be teaching you how to do pommel horse 1 hour a week like you asked.

Jason: I will kill you.

Duke: Being honest, I’d like to try high bar and floor. I feel it will be very beneficial for me in the long run.

Dick: Awesome! You got it. Now everyone has until tomorrow to pick their partner, I know my partner will be Jason.

Jason: Fuck you.

Dick: Also, last thing before I make the training schedules and routines, I need to address something. There are quite a lot of people in Gotham City still refusing to wear mask. During the day lets try to hand out mask with our own designs on them to everyone who we come across during the day. I already ordered them and they should be here by Saturday, so that is something we will be doing starting next week.

*alarm sounds off in the batcave*

Alfred: It would seem there is a fire at Wayne Tower on the thirty-second floor.

Dick: Alright, Duke, Jason, and I will go to check it out. Everyone else do what you would normally do.

Tim and Bruce

Tim: Hey Bruce, I brought you some coffee!

Bruce: How many cups have you had?

Tim: Three large cups.

Bruce: After......

Tim: *mumbles* The five cups I had with breakfast.

Bruce: There we go.

Tim: Okay so what are we doing?

Bruce: Someone found a weakness in Wayne Tech's firewall and is trying to hack into my server. If they do so they will have knowledge of the companies upcoming projects, along with the identities of our persona’s.

Tim: How long do we have?

Bruce: 27 minutes. Try to locate the hacker.

Nightwing, Red Hood, and The Signal

Time- 19:37

Nightwing, Red Hood, The Signal: *all pull up on their motorcycles at Wayne Tower*

Fire Marshal: *approaches the three vigilantes* Hey Nightbird....*looks at Red Hood and The Signal* and gang, look, this wasn't a big fire, it was contained very quickly so there's nothing really to worry about.

The Signal: So we’re good to go, awesome!

Fire Marshal: There's not much you can really do, so yeah.

Nightwing: Thank you fire marshal but if you don't mind, we'd like to stick around for the investigation.

Fire Marshal: No, that's not necessary! We have it all covered!

Red Hood: I take it that you haven't been in Gotham for long. It wasn't an offer, it was a statement.

Fire Marshal: *sighs* Very well.

Nightwing, Red Hood, The Signal: *walk into the building and make there way up to the stairs up to the thirty-second floor*

Tim: Nightwing, are you still at Wayne Tower?

Nightwing: Yeah, what’s up?

Tim: We’re dealing with a hacker trying to get into the server at Wayne Inc. We think the hacker is inside the building....

Nightwing: Say no more! We’re on it!

Tim: Find him fast, we have t-16 minutes and 55 seconds to find him!

Fire Fighter: *runs by to a fire truck* Lets go, lets go!

The Signal: What's going on?

Fire Fighter: There’s been another fire across town. Lets move out!

Nightwing: Shit *mumbles under his breath* Okay, Signal, investigate the fire upstairs. Red Hood, search the building, there is a hacker somewhere and we need to find him before he hacks us! I'll go to the next fire!

The Signal: Got it.

Red Hood: Understood.

Nightwing: *bolts out into the stairway towards the ground level* Red Robin, I'm on my way to another fire, Red Hood is in charge of looking for the hacker and Signal is investigating the fire.

Tim: No time! I'll send The Signal to search for the hacker, too! Investigate the fire later!

Nightwing: Got it!

Tim: Signal, Red Hood! Start looking for the hacker!

Red Hood: Already doing so!

The Signal: But Nightwing said...

Tim: Shut up and do it!

The Signal: Got it!

Alfred and Julia

Alfred: What are we watching

Julia: Well, I thought that with both of us being former spies, I thought we could watch an American film franchise called Mission Impossible.

Alfred: And tear it apart by it’s inaccuracies!

Julia: Yes!

Alfred: Sounds wonderful!

Tim and Bruce

Time- 13:17

Harper: I came as fast as I could.

Bruce: Good, set up your computer.

Harper: Why isn’t Alfred helping?

Bruce: Shut up and get to work.

Harper: Okay then!

Signal

Time- 12:14

The Signal: Fuck! *runs through and between all of the Wayne Enterprise employees* Sorry, excuse me! Coming through! *keeps searching for someone hunched over their computer* Out of the way! Coming through! I'm so sorry! *makes his way back to the stairs and climbs up to the fortieth floor, opens the door and finds the floor empty, but still hears the sound of a guy typing away* Signal to Red Hood, potential suspect on the fortieth floor!

Red Hood: Copy that, standing by!

The Signal: *turns the corner and gets into a stance*

Hacker 1: *looks over* Ah!

Hacker 2: *jumps up behind The Signal and kicks him in the back*

The Signal: Uck! Red Hood, hackers on the fortieth floor!

Red Hood and The Signal

Time- 12:14

Red Hood: *walks on to the twentieth floor and lifts his pistols in the air and fires two rounds* Everybody, go down to the next floor now!

Everyone: *rushes off to the stairs*

Red Hood: *observing everyone that leaves the floor*

The Signal: Signal to Red Hood, potential suspect on the fortieth floor!

Red Hood: Copy that, standing by! *continues to observe the crowd and notices a face* Hey you!

Noah: *looks around and points to himself*

Red Hood: *points* Yeah, you!

Noah: *walks over nervously* Please don't hurt me, I don't want any trouble!

Red Hood: Relax, I'm not going to hurt anyone here. We're just looking for a guy. What's your name?

Noah: My name is Noah.

Red Hood: Sup Noah....

The Signal: Red Hood, hackers on the fortieth floor!

Red Hood: Gotta go! *pushes through the crowd and runs up the stairs, then enters the door for the fortieth floor*

Hackers 1 and 2: *holding The Signal by his arms and legs*

Red Hood: *raises his pistols and fires a few shots at the hackers, but misses and takes a few heavy breaths* That was a warning shot! Next time I won't miss, drop my partner!

Hackers 1 and 2: *drop The Signal and charge at Red Hood*

Red Hood: *dives out of the way and turns around and shoots the hackers with rubber rounds* You guys probably should have spent less time coding and more time in physical education in high school! *taps his helmet* Red Hood to Bat-cave, we got the hackers!

Tim: Good, now look for a R.A.T.!

The Signal: Ew! Gross!

Tim: Not an actual rat, a Remote Access Tool!

Red Hood: What's it look like?

Tim: You're looking for a window on the computer or maybe a USB connected plugged into it!

Red Hood: *checks one of the computer screens*

The Signal: *checks the other computer screen*

Red Hood: Nothing out of the ordinary!

The Signal: Same here!

Tim: Keep looking, it has to be somewhere!

Red Hood: *keeps looking* Tell Batman he's going to need to buy some new shit for this floor! *starts picking up computers and smashes them to the floor*

The Signal: Red Hood! What are you doing?

Red Hood: Narrowing down our options!

Nightwing

Time- 9:23

Nightwing: *pulls up with the fire trucks at the apartment complex in flames, hooks up a small oxygen tank to his waist and connects the hose to his mask, then sees a resident waving from the terrace on the third floor, he then rushes over and climbs up each terrace and fires a grappling hook from his escrima stick onto the top of the building* Step over the railing, I got you! *he gestures for the resident to step over*

Resident: *steps over the railing and into Nightwing's arms*

Nightwing: *holds on to his escrima stick which slowly lowers them down he then lets go of the resident*

Resident: *runs to a safe place with the other residents*

Nightwing: *turns the valve and runs inside the building, checking for any other residents stuck inside*

Firefighters: *start spraying the apartment*

Kid: Help!!!

Nightwing: *runs up the stairs to where the yelling is coming from and finds a parent lying on the floor unconscious*

Kid: *crying* Help, my.... my...

Nightwing: *kneels down and places a hand on the kids shoulder* Hey, you're dad's going to be okay, but right now we have to get out of here. Okay?

Kid: *nods their head*

Nightwing: *lifts up the kids dad over his shoulder and carries the kid as he begins to rush down the stairs only to see the stairs going to the first floor are engulfed in flames, then drops the kid and the dad gently against a wall as he grabbed the fire extinguisher and clears a path for them to go down, then lifts the kid and dad back up and runs down the stairs and out of the door*

Paramedic: *runs over with a stretcher*

Nightwing: *helps lay the dad on the stretcher then runs back in, shooting a grappling hook at the roof and reels himself up the stairway, climbing three floors before the ceiling gives way and Nightwing falls*

Batgirl: *reaches out for Nightwing's arm* Ah!

Nightwing and Batgirl

Time- 5:54

Nightwing: Aren't you a sight for foggy eyes! *reaches up with his other arm up to the railing and crawls over the railing* Are you okay?

Batgirl: *starts to lift a few of the residents* Ow! Come on! We have to get these people to the paramedics!

Nightwing: Go to the fire escape!

Batgirl: Not safe, the metal is starting to bend!

Nightwing: *pushes against the railing he just climbed over* This one is holding! Go check the top floor, if no one is there head down!

Batgirl: *goes up to check the top floor*

Nightwing: *attaches a grappling line to the railing and carries the two other residents reels them all down then races out of the building to meet the paramedics*

Batgirl: *finds one more resident and taps their shoulder* Are you okay?

Resident: *starts to wake* Uhhhh.

Batgirl: Can I help you?

Resident: *goes limp*

Batgirl: *carries the unconscious resident out of the room and reels them both down the building, then racing out of the building to meet with the paramedics*

Bruce, Tim, and Harper

Time- 4:37

Harper: Ha! Gotcha sucker!

Bruce: Did you stop them?

Harper: No, but I got their IP Address! Computer is being accessed on the twentieth floor!

Red Hood and The Signal

Time- 4:07

Tim: THE HACKER IS ON THE TWENTIETH FLOOR!!!

Jason: Son of a bitch!

The Signal: On our way there!

Red Hood and The Signal: *running down the stairs*

The Signal: About what happened.... (being manhandled like a jump rope)

Red Hood: We have bigger problems right now!

The Signal: Right, right!

Jason: *slows down for a second, then races down fast* Shit, I KNOW WHO THAT MAN WAS!

The Signal: *tries to catch up* Red Hood!

Red Hood: *bursts through the door for the twentieth floor and unleashes a primal roar*

Noah: *still sitting down* You're smarter than I remember Red Hood! Don't bother grabbing your guns. I'll be gone before you even fire.

Red Hood: *taps the side of his helmet to send video of the situation to The Signal* The hackers on the fortieth floor, they were...

Noah: Yes, just a distraction! Really impressed by your physicality by the way, but I sure bet you are exhausted right now.

Red Hood: I can still take you out!

Noah: No you can't. Hans!

Hans: *grabs Red Hood*

The Signal: *turns invisible and sneaks past Hans and Red Hood, then approaches Noah and bashes the laptop with his escrima sticks*

Noah: Nooooo!!!

The Signal: *kicks Noah and whacks him a few times with his escrima sticks*

Red Hood: *knocks his head against Hans' head*

Hans: *lets go of Red Hood and stumbles back*

Red Hood: *turns then kicks Hans' chest, then reaches forward and tases Hans*

The Signal: *becomes visible and ties up Noah*

Red Hood: *ties up Hans* Have I ever mentioned how impressive your meta-human abilities are?

The Signal: You can mention it more, I can use the ego boost!

Red Hood: We captured The Calculator and his goons, how is it on your end Red Robin?

Tim: All clear over hear! Nice work guys!

Alfred, Julia, Stephanie, Cassandra, and Selina

Alfred: Why would he choose the safe house. If this were reality Ethan would have already been arrested.

Stephanie: Alfred, we love you to death, but your ruining an amazing movie.

Julia: The movie ruined itself by it’s inaccuracies. Plus this is our bonding time, you guys weren’t even invited!

Selina: Yeah, but you guys took the only copy and once we saw you watching it, we just really wanted to watch it, too.

Harper: Oh, cool! Mind if I join?

Alfred: *sighs* The more the merrier.

Nightwing and Batgirl

Nightwing: Gotcha Jay, thanks for the info! Alright, our guy lives in apartment 22 on 1807 Zics Street. Let’s head there now and see if we can find him.

Batgirl: Want to get something to eat after?

Nightwing: If we race there we can eat sooner!

Batgirl: Lets go!

Nightwing and Batgirl: *jump on their motorcycles and drive to the apartment where they found the arsonist, then tied him to a lamppost and Batgirl informed the GCPD the location of the arsonist*

Nightwing: So, how has your dad been doing?

Batgirl: Not too bad. He’s been a bit under pressure but he’s doing fine. How is it being a dad at the mansion?

Nightwing: Ohhh god. I had the thought once and decided to leave that duty to Alfred.

Batgirl: *Barbara laughs*

Nightwing: I help him a bit. It’s been so difficult acting like a grown up. I had to seriously step in when Alfred called Jason “Master Todd”

Batgirl: Please explain further?

Nightwing: Well, because Jason is, well, Jason, he lost his shit because he’s “not a snooty ass rich motherfucker, Alfred!”

Batgirl: Damn, I could so see that.

Nightwing: Yeah, and it doesn’t help that Bruce totally lost the ability to interact with other people. The other day Damian was acting up and Bruce picked him up and shouted “WHERE’S THE OFF BUTTON!”

Batgirl: *laughs harder*

Nightwing: *laughs* I wish you could have been there, it was funnier in person.

Batgirl: *leans her head on Dick’s shoulder*

Nightwing: I love you Babs.

Batgirl: I love you too, Dick.

Dick

Dick: *got into the batcave and began creating workouts for everyone, then went to the bathroom and took a shower in the batcave, got out, and went upstairs and entered the media room*

Dick: Aw, isn’t this sweet!

Julia: Get the fuck out Dick!

Dick: Damn, okay.

Dick: *walks into the kitchen to see everyone in there*

Tim: Someone took long getting back to the mansion.

Stephanie: What happened.

Dick: I met up with Babs.

Everyone: WHAT!!!!

Damian: No fair. If I knew I could have been with Jon this entire time I would have!

Selina: You’re not able to Damian, and you knew you weren’t suppose to interact with anyone outside of the mansion.

Dick: Chill. Everything is fine. We’re more likely to get sick on patrol then by hanging out with each other.

Selina: In which if we do get sick on patrol and run into each other we then get them sick!

Dick: It's fine! What’s up with Alfred and Julia?

Selina: No....

Jason: They got tired of everyone ruining their family bonding time so they kicked us out.

Dick: That makes sense.

Helena: *rings the doorbell*

Dick: I got it. *walks over to the door and opens it* Helloooo...............

Helena: Hey Dick, you look great!

Dick: *slams the door shut and covers the door*

Jason: *walks up to the door and shoves Dick to the side and opens the door* Hey, Helena! It's so awesome to see you! What are you doing here?

Helena: I’m here to stay and help. Where should I put my bags?

Jason: You could put them in any of the open guest bedrooms up on the third floor! You remember where that is, right?

Helena: Yep!

Dick: Coolcoolcoolcoolcoolcoolcoolcoolcoolcoolcoolcoolcoolcoolcool coolcoolcoolcoolcoolcoolcoolcool. *starts to sit down*

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veryberrydreamer · 10 months

Note

Is it just me or did you think Mark was the worst boyfriend ever to exist?!?!

He was a decent extra character on the show but NOT a good boyfriend!!!

When Quinn and Logan started dating it’s as if they both revealed their true selves. They both seemed relaxed. I could just tell this was a OTP since at least season 3.

Oh yeah, Mark SUCKED! I think he was a very funny character and a great addition to the cast, but an AWFUL boyfriend to Quinn. I feel like because he was so lacking in affection and communication, Quinn felt super insecure with him. Like the quarantine episode? A difficult watch! Logan and Quinn are sooooo much better together. In one sitting, Logan said more nice things to Quinn than Mark said to her during their entire relationship. Major red flag on Mark's part😬🚩

#zoey 101 #zoey 102 #quinn pensky #logan reese #mark del figgalo #quinn x logan #quogan

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lsdunesarchive · 9 months

Text

Past Lives album notes, by Anthony Green - Apple Music

(video credit)

When Thursday drummer Tucker Rule sent Circa Survive and Saosin vocalist Anthony Green some songs to check out during COVID lockdown, the singer wasn’t aware that he was being recruited for an emo supergroup. “When the pandemic hit, every band out there was trying to figure out how to stay alive,” Green tells Apple Music. “I was freaking out, so I was trying to stay busy. Tucker said he had a project with a couple friends and asked me to sing on it. The songs were really good, so I went for it.”

It wasn’t until after Green had recorded vocals for a few songs that Rule revealed the rest of the band’s lineup: My Chemical Romance guitarist Frank Iero, Coheed and Cambria guitarist Travis Stever and Thursday bassist Tim Payne. “I’m glad he didn’t tell me,” Green says. “I would’ve felt so much more pressure.” Below, the singer details each track on L.S. Dunes’ debut.

2022

“It’s definitely one of the most personal songs I’ve ever written. I guess all the songs are personal, but the heaviness of that song is about wondering if I would’ve been better off dead than alive. I know a lot of people go through that—it’s not just me—but it’s a hard song for me to play because it makes me feel all the feelings I had when I wrote it. All that insecurity and all that fucking heaviness comes back. If I could not play it, I would, but the band really loves that song.”

Antibodies

“That was one of the first songs I put vocals to for Dunes. It was at the beginning of quarantine, everyone was isolated and there was a rift between people who were like, ‘I’ll do whatever I can to try to make this thing less brutal on people with compromised immune systems and people that are more susceptible to getting bad COVID’ and people who were like, ‘I don’t give a shit, and I don’t think it’s that bad.’ So, the song comes from feeling isolated and trying to get my head around the idea that some people didn’t give a shit if someone’s grandma or father or mother was gonna die.”

Grey Veins

“I’ve been in a lot of projects with a lot of people, and when I sat down to write this song, I was thinking a lot about whether or not I was doing too much. Sometimes I wonder, ‘Am I going to make people sick of me? Am I doing too many things?’ I kind of answered that question with this song being like, ‘Fuck, no’. I’m just going to fucking play and make as much music as I can here, and I don’t have to explain it to anybody or to live up to anybody else’s standards. I just need to do what makes me happy and to do it as fearlessly as I possibly can.”

Like Forever

“I’ve been going through addiction stuff my entire life. As you get older and the more you work on it, you get a little time clean and then something happens, and you relapse. That’s not part of everybody’s story, but it was part of my journey—and man, it sucks. Having to explain it to somebody, having to deal with the hurt and confusion you cause other people when you relapse…maybe some people don’t want to talk to you after that. They don’t want to be in your life because they don’t want to deal with the stress of loving you. This song deals with that shame and trying to figure out how to get back on a healthy path.”

Blender

“This song is so stoney and heavy. Lyrically, it has to do with my mental health issues and being bipolar. It’s funny because the song is bipolar in and of itself because the verses are very low, and then the choruses are at the very top of my range. It’s not an accident that it goes from one extreme to the other. It very much symbolises the theme of the song, which is me wrestling and coming to grips with the nature of my mood swings, my personality and my fears.”

Past Lives

“This song was inspired by the statues of Confederate soldiers and Christopher Columbus coming down, and the idea of history writing itself rather than going down this lane of total bullshit. Being able to change the narrative in schools so that people are learning the truth about the foundation of this country and the violence at the core of it. It should be taught in school that we massacred people and decimated cultures. I have to deal with parents in my kids' school who think that it’s bad to teach kids about slavery. It’s wild that people don’t want to teach the truth about something.”

It Takes Time

“I wrote this song about Frank. He was in an accident and really fucked up his wrist and hand, and he had to get surgery during the recording of the album. We had to take a big break from sharing music because he couldn’t play guitar. I don’t think he knew if he was ever going to be able to play again. So, I was thinking about him and his relationship with his instrument. The song opens up with, ‘Hello? I’m not sure if you remember, we connected a long time ago.’ That’s him talking to his guitar and his muse. I don’t always write a song for someone else from their perspective, but I did that with this.”

Bombsquad

“This is another one that came up around politics during COVID. I was thinking about how people were lying through their teeth about stuff just to save face—just making shit up, essentially. And the ability that some people had to just detach from reality and pretend that their shithead president was actually helping. It has a lot to do with QAnon and some of the people in my life that were falling for that shit.”

Grifter

“This is one of my favourites. I wrote this song about trying to start over. With each of these projects that I’m doing, I’m digging and I’m trying to find something. Music is a religion to me, and I think that ‘Grifter’ is questioning whether I’ve made it into a religion in a way that’s unhealthy. I centre everything around music and rely on it a lot, and it’s turned into something I worship. I’m sort of questioning whether or not that’s a healthy thing.”

Permanent Rebellion

“This is another song that’s 100 per cent about trying to drop the baggage of our old bands and trying to do something a little bit different with different people.”

Sleep Cult

“I did an interview where I talked a little bit about suicide, and then I realised that my kids were going to see that. There’re things that I’m realising my kids are going to see and hear, and I want to jump in front of it and go to them and explain myself and really let them know me, so they don’t ever see or hear anything where they’re like, ‘Oh shit, this is really heavy.’ I just want to make sure I’m creating an environment for them where they know me and they can talk to me about anything they need, so they don’t ever feel like they’re alone in this world.”

#ls dunes #l.s. dunes #m: anthony green #lsd: 2022 #in: nov/22 #t: video #t: text #t: audio #misc: past lives #misc: duneslore #archive[ane]

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doesnotloveyou · 6 months

Text

Don Johnson Filmography - Free Links!

Instead of you spending countless joyful hours trawling the web for grainy old '70s flicks, I did it for you! Here's a list of FREE places to watch DJ's stuff.

This list will be in reverse chronological order as they appear on IMDb. Some are just placeholders until (if) better links can be found, and some are bootlegs from other countries. I'm excluding music videos since those aren't hard to find.

And if you want to skip boring/annoying plot but don't want to miss him, I've made a key:

MC (main character) - much of the story involves his character and he is onscreen often

SC (side character) - only part of the story involves his character, so he's onscreen far less often than other characters

C (cameo) - he's got one or two scenes and they're small, in which case I'll mark his appearances in 0:00:00 format

I'm leaving most content warnings to viewer discretion, but some I don't feel comfortable ignoring. Also, some of the YouTube vids may get taken down at any moment :( If you like something, back it up! I'm using KMPlayer to download my faves, but I've heard you can also use VLC.

>> Links below cut! <<

First, check out my list from Tubi which has the most high quality versions of his work and TV appearances. If it's on Tubi, it won't be on this post!

Home Movie: The Princess Bride - (C, 0:41:30) the entire film is hilarious, especially if you've seen the original; made by a bunch of celebs during quarantine.

Knives Out - (SC) ok, there's no link, but i'm begging you to go buy this movie on DVD it's like $5-$10 tops in stores these days.

Moondance Alexander - (SC, 0:18:20)

Just Legal - (MC, eight episodes)

Word of Honor - (MC) this vid has "helium" audio and other insufferable flaws.

Goodbye Lover - (SC, login req)

In Pursuit of Honor - (MC) WARNING: animal death/abuse

G.I. Joe: The Movie - (SC, voice only, 0:30:35...) spare yourself, skip this movie that he probably did for his kid.

Tales of the Unexpected - (SC; one episode)

Matt Houston - (SC; one episode)

Melanie - (SC)

Soggy Bottom, U.S.A. - (SC; German dub) clips of his character.

Elvis and the Beauty Queen - (MC; Portuguese subtitles)

Revenge of the Stepford Wives - (SC, 0:12:40, 0:25:15...) he has multiple scenes including one at the end, but these movies stress me out.

Beulah Land - (SC) only in part 1, but his character is replaced by a young Jonathan Frakes in part 2. WARNING: non-graphic rape

From Here to Eternity - (C, one episode, 0:07:10, 0:36:00)

The Rebels (MC, two-parts)

Amateur Night at the Dixie Bar and Grill - (SC, 0:13:39...)

First, You Cry - (SC, first scene, 0:24:20, 0:44:20, 0:57:07, 1:15:38, 1:32:16)

Katie: Portrait of a Centerfold - (C, 0:19:48, 0:32:19, 0:44:03...) can't stomach this film to find the rest of his scenes, he's a very minor character.

The American Girls - he's not in this! the main male character is played by the lovely Charles Haid from Hillstreet Blues, but it isn't listed on Haid's IMDb. Also, the character he plays does not go by the name DJ is listed under for that episode, so maybe DJ's in a different one? Regardless, I only found two episodes and DJ is in neither.

Ski Lift to Death - (SC) he shows up in the second video...don't make me watch this.

What Really Happened to the Class of '65? - TV spot w/ the only footage of him that I can find.

Cover Girls - (SC, 0:27:21, 0:40:40, 01:01:15...)

The City - (MC) costarring Mark Hamil

Barnaby Jones - (SC, one episode) I watched this and now it's missing...it sucked anyway. DJ plays an amateur arms dealer with a sickly son, a wife in jail, and a hideous mustache. He loses.

The Streets of San Francisco - (SC, one episode)

Law of the Land - (MC)

Return to Macon County - (MC) login to YT req but there is also a Spanish dub that doesn't req login. costarring Nick Nolte

A Boy and His Dog - (MC) this version has the nude scenes edited out, sign in to YT for the full cut; much higher quality than Tubi. WARNING: rape, etc.

The Rookies - (SC, one episode) costarring Nick Nolte

Kung Fu - making an executive decision here uhhh skip this one

The Harrad Experiment - (MC; two-parter w/ odd in-video ads that you can easily fast forward) WARNING: they all get naked

The Bold Ones: The New Doctors - (MC, one episode)

Lollipops, Roses and Talangka - (SC; some scenes in Tagalog) can't find the 1975 sequel or much information on English sites, but one Filipino fanblog implies the film may no longer exist.

Zachariah (MC)

Endlessly impressed by how much has been preserved and curated over the years. Even if a ton of it was junk, it's nice to save people's hard work and memories :)

........................................................................................................................

#don johnson #miami vice #70s movies #70s tv shows #nick nolte #mark hamil #jonathan frakes #fan resource #dnly rants #there's a character limit on posts??? since when??#*has never hit the limit before apparently*

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