#dnly rants

[doesnotloveyou]

i'm actually very okay with "there was no other way this could end" endings. if they gotta die, let them die. if they gotta break up or go the wrong way or lose something important, let'em. so long as it completes the story. only thing i dislike more than a forced happy ending is a forced bad ending

#writing #storytelling #film #dnly rants #og #goncharov #gonchposting #writing tips #vaguing marvel on main #history

[doesnotloveyou]

yknow when a story has a group of male buddies and the bad guy kills a bunch of them so the survivors go on a vengeful rampage... Where are the wives and girlfriends and mothers and daughters and platonic female besties who are just as willing to pick up a weapon and avenge the men they lost?

this should be more common and i want to call it the "Ross Adler Effect" after Mattie Ross (True Grit) and Sadie Adler (Red Dead Redemption 2): One female character (at least) who takes a second to process how her life has changed before pulling up to the gang like "you don't get to say I can't come too."

I'm tired of media perpetuating the idea that the convictions of a fictional guy's male friends/relatives constantly matter more than those of his female friends/relatives

#harley davidson and the marlboro man was fun and good #but if they had given vanessa williams an uzi #it would have been a much shorter movie #gender #female characters #writing #sadie adler #mattie ross #true grit #red dead redemption 2 #rdr2 #hailee steinfeld #charles portis #writeblr #dnly rants #og

[doesnotloveyou]

"there are no instructions on how to use tumblr!" and "I've been here for years (joined after 2017) and didn't know this feature existed!"

do some of you just never explore things ever? like you join a site, don't check the TOS, don't check your privacy options, don't check all the settings, never look at your stuff in desktop, and only pay attention when someone makes a post like "omg turn off this feature immediately!" ?

bro. it's your house. know where everything is and what it does, the real estate agent isn't going to hold your hand

and help yourself by following @changes so you'll actually know when tumblr announces every minor change no one notices for a couple weeks until one person screams that their favorite button was moved slightly to the left on mobile

#sincerely #i have never had a problem using tumblr #unless it was mobile #you all just expect websites to hand you instructions? #what like f*cebook and insta telling you how to get data mined? #find crap out yourself #freakin app generation right here y'all expect things to be streamlined and packaged #“but that's so much extra work---” actually it isn't #i joined at nineteen and figured it out #if you're dumber than me at nineteen that's on you #og #dnly rants #tumblr etiquette #tumblr how to

[doesnotloveyou]

I'm new on tumblr and I've been following you for a while. Great blog btw! What does blorbofication mean? TIA

oh no, i was afraid i would have to explain this someday lol

(post being referred to)

Simply put "blorbo" is Tumblr slang for your favorite character, primarily one that lives in your head rent-free and probably shows up on your blog the most.

It started with a post (or two) poking fun at fandom bloggers, specifically Marvel fans iirc, for obsessively posting about random characters their followers aren't familiar with. A few other terms were coined that day like "glup shitto" and "scrunglo." This post explains a few of the terms you might see floating around tumblr; I must add to their definition of "glup shitto" that it's intentionally making fun of how unbelievably ridiculous some names in Star Wars are.

"Blorbofication" means a character has been turned into a silly fixation by a fan or fandom, so some of the original context of the character has likely been stripped away for the sake of personal enjoyment. It is probably derived from the slang term "yassification" which you can just look up cuz I'm not getting into that lol

Welcome to tumblr!! but there's a lot of reading material to understand just what the hell we're all saying lol. sry in advance

#tumblr history #tumblr culture #tumblr heritage #world heritage post #blorbo #hellsite hall of fame #help #reply #dnly rants #tumblr newbies #new to tumblr

[doesnotloveyou]

the best parts of MV continue to be the moments where they have the extremely iconic masculine characters both question and defy toxic masculine norms. for example,

both Rico and Sonny show compassion and sometimes even affection for each other

both Rico and Sonny show it's okay to cry and be vulnerable, and that you shouldn't be mocked for it

both Rico and Sonny treat sex workers as fellow human beings who deserve respect and protection (sidenote: i think the undercover cops relate to the hookers because both jobs require putting on a persona under potentially dangerous circumstances)

Sonny regrets not backing up a friend who came out as gay because he was young and didn't know what to do

Sonny regrets not standing up for a high school classmate who was sexually assaulted and then demeaned behind her back, again because he was young and didn't know what to do

Sonny barely holds back his rage against a man who emotionally abuses his wife

Sonny barely holds back his rage against all abusers, including the couple who exploited a 13yo runaway for their own benefit

Sonny does, for the most part, hold back his rage or seek counsel from a male friend to calm him down (his anger issues needed more attention in the writing imo)

Rico approaches difficult circumstances with calm compassion and a positive mental attitude

Rico makes it clear it is never okay for an adult man to have a sexual interest in teenage girls even when they are asking for it

Rico also makes it clear that a hypersexual teenage girl does not deserve less respect for acting that way

Sonny is continuously nonplussed by LGBTQ people, treating them as equals, and rolling his eyes at cishet who don't like it

Sonny is emotionally devastated over every teenage boy who doesn't make it out of a bad situation

Castillo is gentler with female officers, female victims, and is proud of his wife for marrying again and finding happiness

actually, the biggest deal to me is this reoccuring theme of "forgive yourself for not knowing better at the time."

For instance, Sonny doesn't seem to know how to handle Gina's rape, but in a later season when she is avidly hunting down a friend's rapist Sonny jumps at the opportunity to chase the man down and be extra aggressive. Then in other instances where sexual assault is a topic, Sonny has stronger opinions and stronger reactions. So part of his character is that he learns, but it's usually the hard way and he tends to overcorrect.

#miami vice #dnly tv #dnly rants #sonny crockett #crockett and tubbs #martin castillo #ricardo tubbs #there are messages that are weird or i just don't understand #like the theme of having sons but not raising them #is it bc the main characters are too messed up to raise children? #or keep a wife? or? huh? #then ofc the misogyny that is definitely still there #the female characters are hookers or secretaries even when they are supposed to be police #gina and trudy start out dressing 'in costume' for work #and end up wearing street walker getups 24/7 #and abusing gina seems to be a thing the writers enjoyed #she was never allowed to have a lover other than sonny #even after he cheated on her twice #THAT was a weird thing to just breeze past #anyway the soap opera vibes ruined it #but it had good bones in the beginning #tw rape mention

[doesnotloveyou]

i am asking you once again not to get all your news from tumblr dot com. if a current topic makes you angry, offended, confused, scared, research it yourself. odds are the post(s) you saw were incorrect or intentionally fabricated to garner a reaction. and this happens with good news too!

#dnly rants

[doesnotloveyou]

tbh picking a whole fandom to "cancel" and avoid bc the creator did or says messed up crap is stupid. you're not going to have anything left if you keep expecting creators to be your moral leaders

it goes like this: today in your fave fandom everything is okay but tomorrow your reverend saint creator makes a fat joke and it stuns you so horribly you have an existential crisis for the next three weeks

that's on you for putting a complete stranger on a pedestal instead of just enjoying their work and accepting you will never know them as a person and it's probably best that way

#fandom #og #dnly rants

[doesnotloveyou]

they just keep inventing stuff in the mcu and then pretending they didn't. there was one whole movie about other countries copying the iron man suit, and in the antman movies ppl are always trying to steal pym technology, and god forbid i have to hear "super soldier serum" spoken again, but there are dozens of other revolutionary techs in the series that no one in their world talks about?

they invented a time machine/deaging machine for godssake

spider man's spidersilk is made with common chemistry supplies.

there are hologram projecting, flying drones

robot militias/armies have been introduced three times

there's a prison facility that rises out of the ocean

the us military invented robot wings for some reason but only one guy owns a pair

shield has flying cars and a way to bring back the dead

in the first antman they had a handheld gun that shrinks someone AND kills them, and you can just clean up the evidence with a single tissue? uh, useful?

they canonically 3D printed a person!!

none of that even accounts for all the alien tech on the planet!!!

and yet I'm supposed to believe that all this tech stops existing the minute the movie is over. give me a break, that stuff would be leaked and patented by the end of the day. there would be youtube videos on how to make it at home

#marvel #marvel 199999 #dnly rants #iron man #antman #spiderman

[doesnotloveyou]

another thing I've noticed about the chaos that is Crockett and Tubbs is that the best fictional partnerships complement each other: one is a loose cannon while the other is always rational, one functions emotionally and the other logically, one follows rules without question while the other questions everything, one is aggression and rage while the other is soft and caring. Scully gets Mulder out of a jam, Bayliss gets between Pembleton and the target of his rage, Hutch attempts to curb Starsky's bad habits, etc.

but crockett and tubbs are like two unsupervised little boys. if they see their guy has gotten himself into a tangle they jump right in after him no thoughts head empty. if one says "I put random stuff from the fridge in a blender, lets drink it" THEY WILL BOTH DRINK IT. withOUT hesitation. if one of them is like "i think your new gf is sus" and the other one says "yeah but i like her" then the first one is all "forgive me, in that case she's perfect for you....for now" tbf it's usually Rico questioning Sonny's taste in women, but I think that's because sonny just doesnt trust himself to know what a good Rico gf looks like.

the only reason either of them lives as long as they do is plot armor and TV health insurance bc irl they'd be dead

#miami vice #dnly tv #crockett and tubbs #dnly rants

[doesnotloveyou]

when I'm on twitch and i click on the world's most boring streamer who plays 6hrs of hunt showdown everyday without a mic, it feels like assault to instantly receive the loudest dunkin donuts or taco bell ad as punishment for clicking on an affiliated streamer. god forbid i want to actually WATCH the content

#twitch #streaming #gamers #ads #dnly rants

[doesnotloveyou]

Don Johnson Filmography - Free Links!

Instead of you spending countless joyful hours trawling the web for grainy old '70s flicks, I did it for you! Here's a list of FREE places to watch DJ's stuff.

This list will be in reverse chronological order as they appear on IMDb. Some are just placeholders until (if) better links can be found, and some are bootlegs from other countries. I'm excluding music videos since those aren't hard to find.

And if you want to skip boring/annoying plot but don't want to miss him, I've made a key:

MC (main character) - much of the story involves his character and he is onscreen often

SC (side character) - only part of the story involves his character, so he's onscreen far less often than other characters

C (cameo) - he's got one or two scenes and they're small, in which case I'll mark his appearances in 0:00:00 format

I'm leaving most content warnings to viewer discretion, but some I don't feel comfortable ignoring. Also, some of the YouTube vids may get taken down at any moment :( If you like something, back it up! I'm using KMPlayer to download my faves, but I've heard you can also use VLC.

>> Links below cut! <<

First, check out my list from Tubi which has the most high quality versions of his work and TV appearances. If it's on Tubi, it won't be on this post!

Home Movie: The Princess Bride - (C, 0:41:30) the entire film is hilarious, especially if you've seen the original; made by a bunch of celebs during quarantine.

Knives Out - (SC) ok, there's no link, but i'm begging you to go buy this movie on DVD it's like $5-$10 tops in stores these days.

Moondance Alexander - (SC, 0:18:20)

Just Legal - (MC, eight episodes)

Word of Honor - (MC) this vid has "helium" audio and other insufferable flaws.

Goodbye Lover - (SC, login req)

In Pursuit of Honor - (MC) WARNING: animal death/abuse

G.I. Joe: The Movie - (SC, voice only, 0:30:35...) spare yourself, skip this movie that he probably did for his kid.

Tales of the Unexpected - (SC; one episode)

Matt Houston - (SC; one episode)

Melanie - (SC)

Soggy Bottom, U.S.A. - (SC; German dub) clips of his character.

Elvis and the Beauty Queen - (MC; Portuguese subtitles)

Revenge of the Stepford Wives - (SC, 0:12:40, 0:25:15...) he has multiple scenes including one at the end, but these movies stress me out.

Beulah Land - (SC) only in part 1, but his character is replaced by a young Jonathan Frakes in part 2. WARNING: non-graphic rape

From Here to Eternity - (C, one episode, 0:07:10, 0:36:00)

The Rebels (MC, two-parts)

Amateur Night at the Dixie Bar and Grill - (SC, 0:13:39...)

First, You Cry - (SC, first scene, 0:24:20, 0:44:20, 0:57:07, 1:15:38, 1:32:16)

Katie: Portrait of a Centerfold - (C, 0:19:48, 0:32:19, 0:44:03...) can't stomach this film to find the rest of his scenes, he's a very minor character.

The American Girls - he's not in this! the main male character is played by the lovely Charles Haid from Hillstreet Blues, but it isn't listed on Haid's IMDb. Also, the character he plays does not go by the name DJ is listed under for that episode, so maybe DJ's in a different one? Regardless, I only found two episodes and DJ is in neither.

Ski Lift to Death - (SC) he shows up in the second video...don't make me watch this.

What Really Happened to the Class of '65? - TV spot w/ the only footage of him that I can find.

Cover Girls - (SC, 0:27:21, 0:40:40, 01:01:15...)

The City - (MC) costarring Mark Hamil

Barnaby Jones - (SC, one episode) I watched this and now it's missing...it sucked anyway. DJ plays an amateur arms dealer with a sickly son, a wife in jail, and a hideous mustache. He loses.

The Streets of San Francisco - (SC, one episode)

Law of the Land - (MC)

Return to Macon County - (MC) login to YT req but there is also a Spanish dub that doesn't req login. costarring Nick Nolte

A Boy and His Dog - (MC) this version has the nude scenes edited out, sign in to YT for the full cut; much higher quality than Tubi. WARNING: rape, etc.

The Rookies - (SC, one episode) costarring Nick Nolte

Kung Fu - making an executive decision here uhhh skip this one

The Harrad Experiment - (MC; two-parter w/ odd in-video ads that you can easily fast forward) WARNING: they all get naked

The Bold Ones: The New Doctors - (MC, one episode)

Lollipops, Roses and Talangka - (SC; some scenes in Tagalog) can't find the 1975 sequel or much information on English sites, but one Filipino fanblog implies the film may no longer exist.

Zachariah (MC)

Endlessly impressed by how much has been preserved and curated over the years. Even if a ton of it was junk, it's nice to save people's hard work and memories :)

........................................................................................................................

#don johnson #miami vice #70s movies #70s tv shows #nick nolte #mark hamil #jonathan frakes #fan resource #dnly rants #there's a character limit on posts??? since when?? #*has never hit the limit before apparently*

[doesnotloveyou]

re-analyzing mcu female characters now that i'm no longer a fan

look. they gave male writers a bucket of manly action figures and a baggie of female characters as accessories. fem chars were written like a list of tropes except with all the "icky sexism" ones crossed out. they were rarely written as, y'know, people (willing to argue that many of the male characters were barely allowed to be anything more than plastic action figures either)

Somehow though, despite being used as a fangirl stand-in (which are often derogatory caricatures imo) Darcy Lewis is an excellently written female character.

She is always herself. She doesn't care what professional men, hot men, authoritative men, extraordinary men, or even what any woman thinks of her. Not in a Hollywood "watch me not care and be so feisty and empowered while I do it" way, but in a chill "that's cool but imma be my own person" way

She is kind but doesn't put up with mistreatment

She is smart but doesn't need men to brag about her intelligence

She is savvy but doesn't need men to point it out

She is beautiful but neither a man nor the camera ever needs to realize it, and she dresses to be comfortable while also perfectly confident that she's gorgeous

She is fearful but she deals with it without needing a man to comfort her

She is firm in her opinions and her decisions without needing a man (or anyone) to approve of them

Best of all she cracks jokes for her own amusement and knows she's funny even if no one laughs

the writers (accidentally???) created a perfect every-woman by deciding to create a woman without making her Love Interest Material. they made her the Attractive Girl's Friend trope, yeah, but at least the friend gets to be herself instead of constantly wondering if the space viking will come back and sweep her off her feet

they made a strong female character in 2010, and when they brought her back in Wandavision she didn't even need a hot girl bestie as an excuse to be on the screen. their continuity reflected that she was now the most experienced person in her field. even the audience trusted her to be reliable in unreliable circumstances the same way a hero is meant to be reliable

every time Marvel tries to make a "strong female character" they do something hyper-stereotypical that bends in the other direction. "We can't be sexist, see? we converted his secretary into his assistant and then we made her the CEO of his company" or "we showed her punching out a misogynist in her first scene" or "canonically she's a maneater but we're afraid of how that will look so we'll make her have no romances instead while also being The Only Girl trope." and on and on and on

meanwhile, Darcy was great, and I give a lot of credit to Kat Dennings, but I would also like to know if there was a female, or even male, writer in the room who kept her all to themself and said "I'll write this character, I know them perfectly."

there must have been because she felt knowable. she also felt like a fun example of what being a normal human might be like in a universe where caped heroes fly around saving the world from aliens

#no readmore we dine like kings #i was never and still am not a “darcy fangirl” #but she's one of the few characters that aged well #pepper running and repping tony's dad's company was actually a bold move #im2 had many faceplants but ngl pepper was excellent #and sam rockwell played his misogynistic line perfectly #pepper would not engage with his arguing she simply had him removed #power move well done i love im2 pepper #im3 pepper was fine but the damsel in distress turned super hottie via explodey disease was weird #they tried to force a ton of labels onto pepper #when she was fine as she was #dnly rants #marvel

[doesnotloveyou]

The disneyfication of marvel that soaked into the writing and ruined the characters started with "you are my greatest creation"

the bizarre abuse-erasure of Howard stark had been discussed ad nauseum, but the biggest "the hell?" has to be the uwu family relationship in Black Widow where four people who haven't seen each other in twenty years and never loved each other to begin with are suddenly a supportive nuclear family the moment they're together again? I had to put serious effort into swallowing that

I think disney has some rule where "well it may be pg 13 but we all know six-year-olds are in the audience watching the violence anyway, so let's remind the parents we support family values and have Natasha Romanoff hug her dad after slaughtering dozens of people"

the best reaction to a hell parent in the entire mcu was peter quill blasting a hole in his father's head the literal second he realized he'd killed his mother. the buildup to that scene was pristine 👌

#marvel #marvel 199999 #tony stark #natasha romanoff #black widow #dnly rants

[doesnotloveyou]

s04ep15 "indian wars" is a prime example of when miami vice gets really frustrating. they've got main characters standing at the edges of the scenes with nothing to do. trudy, gina, switek, are lucky if they have one line or one action. in one scene, olivia brown behaves like she's modeling for a magazine shoot except no one is looking at her

trudy's primary duties have always been, but are now explicitly, fetching faxes and making phonecalls (secretary). many of gina's shots are from behind her head so you can't even see saundra's face. it's like someone said "we need all the actors on screen" but then no one wrote anything for them to do. they used to, since it's an office, be at their own desks working on their own cases instead of all clustered in one spot and on one case. i get that it became the don johnson show, but even then could you at least have him interact with the other characters in the scene? like he used to?

anyway, good on john diehl for leaving in s3 bc they all deserved better

#complaining about a dead show #i'm just so confused why would you film it like this? #fandom #dnly rants #miami vice #even dj's lines and scenes are so lazily written #you've got a talented actor carrying your show on his back #and you're just like 'nah he can say some one liners and raise his voice now and then' #also the costume design team must be throwing up on themselves because the outfits stop working for anyone #i don't mean like 'oh that's ugly' #i mean they used to coordinate colors and styles per pairing #now it's just like mall mannequins in a dimly lit window #dnly tv #^^^all that aside PMT served looks this episode

[doesnotloveyou]

i am a woman of simple wants and those are that Red Dead 3 exist, that don johnson voice a character in it (bc pmt was in gta), and that the storyline be primarily based on true grit. I'm not saying Johnson should voice rooster cogburn, but i am saying he should damn well be considered. and that he cameo in the fallout show

#at least tiger's breed of dog should be in the fallout show lolll my guys #bethesda and who is it amazon? you suck #rdr #rdr3 #bethesda #abahd #don johnson #true grit #red dead redemption community #dnly rants #western

[doesnotloveyou]

want to better understand my '80s blorbo who is a vietnam vet...

do research on vietnam war, on the intense backlash from american citizens, on the horrors of being a soldier, learn of the aggressive drafting tactics to get teenage americans to the other side of the world, of the pointless reasons for being there in the first place, of the entire generation of men who were mentally physically and emotionally debilitated, and realize that my level of rage and disgust at this clusterfuck of mass human torture is nothing compared to the emotions of the young protesters, loved ones, and other conscious american citizens who watched on their TV sets as visceral hell was brought down on Vietnamese citizens

The US gov just grabbed teenage boys and men off the street and threw them into a meat grinder for no reason. the draft board was referred to as a "death lottery." turning 18 as a boy was probably equivalent to having to line up for the Hunger Games. equal gender rights were shot down over fear of women and girls being drafted too. if you were a girl you knew your male friend, brother, boyfriend, classmate, crush, neighbor could just be gone one day.

my blorbo was a star college football player, had a major career ahead of him, so famous a man from another part of the country was a fan of his 15yrs later. the war forced him through the meat grinder, permanently injured & traumatized him, and voila his future is gone. his skills and ambitions and potential for a good life are gone. no apologies, no sympathy, no one even acknowledging that this isn't his fault. just "oh well. man up. figure it out. no one cares." like no wonder he's messed up? no wonder the boomers and gen x are messed up??????

#anyway i'm done making fun of sonny crockett i guess #holy fuck #miami vice #cw war #dnly rants #RANTS #fandom meta #fanfic writer