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celestialarchon · 3 years

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The Celestial Archon

Chapter One: A Storm of Stars

Genshin Impact x F!reader

In the first chapter, you may find the mystery archon described in a way that doesn’t fit you. That’s okay, it will change to each individual’s own tastes with time. The archon is described a certain way for reasons regarding the story line!

WARNINGS: lots of genshin spoilers, mentions of blood/violence, & mentions of injury.

tag list! @pebblegwn @krexpe @rockinaflock @creation-magician @noythe @weightlessrose @kclremin @vievi @simpinforkirari @red-riots-crocs

Our story began when Mona, the esteemed astrologist made a bold declaration. The stars foretold the return of a mysterious eighth archon. With this information, the most influential people of Mondstat and Liyue set a plan into action. The beloved traveler and his sidekick were quickly dragged into the preparations for the Celestial Archon. Aether and Paimon were looking forward to resting after weeks of hard work but unfortunately were interrupted by a star falling from the heavens. And so, we continue onward with our adventure.

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Aether’s legs were sore, his knees began to buckle as he finally made it to the entrance of dawn winery. He yelped, falling forwards and closed his eyes preparing for the impact. It never came as two sets of hands grasped the boy and steadied him. Diluc, the esteemed owner of Dawn Winery sighed as his brother gently removed the mysterious young woman from Aether’s back. The red headed man scowled as the traveler’s knees buckled once more, catching the now unconscious boy.

The knights of favonious stood outside the winery, watching the two men carry the weakened traveler and mystery lady. With the stars still falling in the distance it was quite a sight to behold. Mona gasped as Kaeya approached, the woman in his arms still still sleeping. Her hair was long and wild, strange silvery tattoos danced on her skin, and her body was frail. Kaeya tried to be gentle with her, holding her bridal style but he could feel her losing strength and the warm blood from a wound staining his shirt.

Noelle rushed forward to remove Aether from Diluc, “My apologies Master Diluc, but this young lady needs a free room immediately.”

Diluc nodded, grimacing at the sight of the wounded woman in his brother’s arms. He pushed the doors to Dawn Winery open, making his way to the nearest guest room. Kaeya followed him and Jean yanked her younger sister along. The room was simple with a bed, night stand, and single chair. Kaeya set the woman down on the bed carefully, and rolled her over to see the back of her top soaked.

“Kaeya, go wash up.” Jean ordered, unsheathing her sword.

Diluc steered his brother out of the room while Jean got to work. With speed and precision, Jean’s sword cut the cloth away from the injury. Her eyes widened and she stepped back as the wound as freed. Barbara peeked around her sister and felt nausea building up. Noelle entered the room to see the two sisters in shock. Jean’s eyes were filled with a mixture of sadness and disgust.

“Did she have wings?” Barbara whispered, eyes never leaving the back of the woman.

“No, this isn’t a tear. Somebody or something did this to her,” Jean gritted her teeth, “they carved it into her.”

Noelle glanced over them to see something incredibly awful. There were two deep and wide gashes starting at her shoulder blades and meeting at her tailbone to make an upside down v symbol. Her breathing was shallow as the air hit the open wound. Barbara made her way to the bedside to infuse the wound with hydro energy and try to help the pain.

“Noelle!” Jean barked, “Find the Alchemists and tell Albedo to set up a direct teleport point here. Bring Sucrose here, we will need all the help we can get.”

Noelle nodded and dashed out the door, nearly colliding with the knight’s librarian. Lisa frowned but ignored the rushed girl and stepped into the room.

“Lisa,” Jean sighed as the woman walked in.

Lisa’s hand found its way to the dandelion knight’s shoulder, “Yes, acting grandmaster?”

“Please send word to Liyue Harbor that we need the aid of their best herbalist right now. This is urgent. You may also inform the adepti and Zhongli of the archon’s arrival but we need aid now.” Jean’s tone was serious, it struck a chord of anxiety in Lisa.

Without a word, Lisa strode out of the room and began to do as she was asked. Barbara continued to ease the pain of the sky goddess but grew more worried each second. The wound was infected. Sucrose burst in soon after, tears forming at the sight before her.

After what seemed like an eternity, Liyue Harbor’s esteemed top herbalist arrived with a small zombie girl. Together, the best healers from both countries began to work hard. They poured all their energy into their work and successfully removed the infection. By the time the sun began to come up, the wound was rapid healed but scarred terribly.

Though morning approached, the temporary residents of Dawn Winery found themselves crawling into bed to get some rest. Jean didn’t want to leave the eight archon’s side but was convinced to by her loving sister. The healers slept all day and all night long, missing the arrival of Liyue’s highest regarded people and adepti. Not a single soul dared to peak at the mysterious goddess as she slept, in fear of interrupting her much needed peace.

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24 Hours had passed since the arrival of the eighth archon. The herbalists and knights began to wake finally as morning approached. Unfortunately, when they went to check on the strange woman and her injuries, the room was empty. Dread set over Dawn Winery with the goddess of the stars missing once more.

Noon soon came to pass but there was no sign of the Celestial Archon. Everyone had split up to search for her but had no luck. Aether was frustrated and panicked as he fell onto the grass. Suddenly a large gust of wind blew him over, Paimon clutched to his hair as a winged blue beast shot across their line of vision.

“Dvalin?” Venti stood abruptly, “Could it be..”

Realization hit Aether, “Let’s go! We need to follow him!”

Aether, Venti, Kaeya, and Lisa trailed behind the dragon. Paimon screamed at them to slow down but they were too focused to care. Finally, out of breath, they stopped. Dvalin had landed on the edge of a cliff, his head leaned down to press his snout against the cheek of a beautiful woman. Her hair was still long and wild but not unkempt. Her eyes shone bright like stars and her skin seemed to glow under the sunlight. Aether was awestruck. Was that really the same person he rescued only a day before?

The wind carried her laughter as the majestic beast snuggled up to her. Her hands came up to stroke his scales as her feet left the ground. She truly was floating. Starstruck, Aether and the knights of favonious could only stare. Venti, however, burst forward with a gleeful giggle. The celestial archon turned as the bard crashed into her. Dvalin rested his head atop of hers as her arms wrapped around the childlike god.

“Don’t worry, Barbatos,” She reassured, “I missed you, too.”

“You scared me, you stupid supernova!” Venti nuzzled his face into her chest.

Aether shivered as a growl tore through the air. The noise startled him enough, he fell right on his ass. Xiao shot forwards, ripping the anemo archon off of the celestial archon.

“You bastard drunk,” Xiao’s face was dark, “Don’t touch her as you please.”

“Ehe,” Venti giggled as the adeptus held him by the collar.

Aether stood and sighed, gazing at the shocked woman. He turned, hearing footsteps behind him. Zhongli had found them and the remaining adepti trailed behind him. The eighth archon’s mouth was agape. She flung herself at Xiao, tackling him. Venti escaped the yaksha as the goddess fell ontop of him.

“Oi,” She grinned clutching onto him, “I think I even missed your shitty attitude, pretty boy.”

Xiao’s face was red as he grumbled, “Just shut up, space case.”

Zhongli clicked his tongue, impatient. He pulled the goddess off of the yaksha and embraced her. His sudden affection made her cheeks flush but she returned the hug. Zhongli’s arms tightened around her, fearful that he would wake up from a dream. After a few moments he released her only for the poor bright eyed goddess to be swarmed by the adepti.

She giggled as they each took turns showing her how much she was missed. Even as Cloud Retainer scolded her, the smile never left her face.

“What exactly happened to you anyways?” The female crane adepti grilled the goddess.

A nervous laugh escaped the young woman, “Well, I kept thinking about how my heart was restless. So I guess I kept walking. Eventually this strange darkness consumed me and I couldn’t go anywhere. It was as if all the evil gods I struck down were exacting their revenge. Some time ago, the void I was stuck in opened up a bit and I escaped but was forced into something even worse. There were terrible monsters and powerful beings who sought my abilities I guess. They mistook me as a new goddess and attacked me.”

Aether’s ears perked up. She was talking about the Abyss, he was sure of it. His heart hurt at the way she tried to mask the pain of the endeavor. She reminded him of Lumine a bit.

“So anyways,” She continued, “I ran again and got caught in this space. It wasn’t bad, but nothing happened. I mean nothing, I was actually stuck for real that time and the space seemed to shift around me even though I couldn’t move. Time didn’t pass and my thoughts came to a stop, too. Then I was forced out and I think I was falling? That blonde kid picked me up but I was weakened. Sorry I don’t remember much but that.”

“Forced out, hm..” Cloud Retainer seemed stuck in her thoughts.

“That’s not quite right,” The goddess sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose, “It’s more like it shattered? I think I fell with the pieces of it.”

“How strange,” Kaeya started, “It almost sounds like a domain.”

Zhongli nodded, “It does. Let’s not discuss this any further for now, it seems to be a painful topic.”

The celestial archon smiled gently at the geo archon, embracing him again. Zhongli stiffened but wrapped his arms around her again. Aether felt Xiao shift next to him, he glanced at the adeptus and had to restrain his laughter. He didn’t think the rough adeptus could ever pour, but there he was pouting.

After exchanging greetings and parting with Dvalin, the group headed back to Dawn Winery. Paimon had already taken a liking to the goddess of stars. Aether couldn’t blame the chubby fairy, the archon seemed oddly mortal to him. The other Archons carried themselves with grace and authority. The Celestial Archon was strangely human. Her appearance was godly and she did have a sort of divine aura to her but she was far more down to earth then even Venti.

“So why did you leave so suddenly?” Aether’s curious eyes met hers as they hiked back to the winery.

“I, uh, well the sun was calling to me.” A bashful smile formed on her lips.

Aether raised his eyebrows, “Calling to you?”

“Yeah,” her eyes were a bit distant, “It’s as if it was reminding me that the sun is a star, too. It willed me to bask in it I suppose.”

Paimon giggled at the archon’s clumsy wording. Aether pondered over what she said, thinking it was unique. Dawn Winery came into view and the traveler noticed that everybody else had returned. Chaos ensued at their arrival.

“Ahem,” Venti cleared his throat, “This is the eighth archon. The Celestial Archon, Seraphim. I call her supernova though cause she’s beautiful and destructive.”

“Hello! Let’s skip formalities, feel free to call me by my chosen name!” She introduced herself cheerfully.

Everybody chose to ignore Venti’s comment on the goddess being destructive. She was far too kind and gracious to be anything of that sort. Aether was the only one among them who noticed Venti’s words. They filled him with curiosity.

“I’m so hungry,” Paimon groaned.

“Oh, I missed food!” The bubbly goddess yelled, “Let’s eat! Can we eat?”

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The dining room was filled with chatter as they celebrated the arrival of the long lost archon. Paimon was stuffing her face as Venti chugged another bottle of dandelion wine, hiccuping. Diluc sighed as Kaeya poured another glass for himself with rosy cheeks. The scarlet haired man found himself looking for the celestial archon again. No matter how heard he tried to distract himself, his thoughts and eyes always found their way to her.

She was levitating above her seat, giggling as people brought her food to try. Xiao was uncharacteristically calm and looked happy even, as he fed her bits of almond tofu. Zhongli was smiling at her as she took sips of tea. The goddess picked up the small zombie girl and sat her in her lap, letting the child introduce “coco goat” milk to her. Things were going well overall.

Diluc watched as the kind hearted goddess set the child down and excused herself. She glided towards the terrace with a lingering sadness in her eyes. The esteemed Ragnvindr swiped the unopened bottle of dandelion his brother was reaching for and uncorked it. For a moment, the man was hesitant but his legs carried him to the open terrace anyways.

“Hello, Mister Diluc,” The goddess greeted him without turning to look at him.

“Pardon me,” He stopped at her side, “I don’t mean to intrude. This is a gift for you, Dawn Winery’s special.”

She glanced at him through her peripheral vision and held out her hand. He sighed and placed the bottle in her slender hand, watching her take a sip. She returned to staring at the stars above, sipping on the wine. The tycoon couldn’t help but stay by her side, seeing the look of longing she had. He felt that if he left her, she might just disappear again.

“It’s good,” She murmured, closing her eyes.

“Thank you,” Diluc tried to hold back the smile growing on his face, “I appreciate that you’re savoring it and not gulping it down like certain alcoholics.”

A snort escaped from the girl, “Barbatos the esteemed anemo archon and local alcoholic.”

Diluc snickered at her comment. She was so surreal. Everything about her felt dreamy, it was truly enchanting.

“I can leave you alone with your thoughts, I am deeply sorry if I disturbed you.” The man sighed and turned, but was stopped by her fingertips grazing his wrist.

“Diluc Ragnvindr, you are not a bother,” She sighed, “I am just a fool who would rather look for answers in constellations than face the reality before me. For me, not much time has passed since the Archon War. So you’ll have to forgive me if I seem cold, I simply am frustrated and depressed by the changes in Teyvat. I missed thousands of years and it will haunt me for a long while.”

Diluc’s jaw nearly hit the floor at the bluntness of the woman in front of him. He was empathetic to her situation, after distancing himself from everyone around him he had moments of sadness as well. He was also fascinated by her adoration for the stars.

“Do the stars give you answers?” He asked quietly.

She laughed, “Not always, but i’m able to read the constellations of an individual, even you Darknight Hero.”

“Oh, fucks sake that’s mortifying!” He groaned and then leaned in, “Wait. I have a constellation? How much do you know?”

“Your constellation is Noctua, and it’s fairly easy to read. I know that you pretend like everybody is bothering you at all times, because you don’t want to be disappointed again as your brother disappointed you after the loss of your father. You feel the need to be strong and never seen as weak, somewhere between inferiority complex and social anxiety.” Her words made his heart pound.

“But,” She continued smiling, “I understand. I also have daddy issues of sorts. And it often feels easier to put up those walls.”

Diluc was speechless. Their conversation was interrupted by clapping, as Kaeya made his way out of the shadows. Any vulnerability left Diluc at his brother’s entrance. He quickly exited the balcony seeing Kaeya’s smug expression.

“You are interesting,” his voice was almost sultry, “Tell me, what do you see from my constellation.”

The goddess gave him a sour look. She was quiet for a minute, eyes narrowed at the man. He waited, expectantly.

“Pavo Ocellus,” She sighed, “A complicated constellation. You do carry a heavy burden savior of Khaenri'ah. So much of you is shrouded in mystery, although that’s fitting isn’t it? I don’t know enough to see you as a threat, however your dishonest habits and constant tests you put people through seems irritating.”

“Oh, you’re bold,” He grinned, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear, “Bold, beautiful, and busty. Just my type.”

“And you say things like that so casually,” She pushed his hand away, making her way back to the dining hall.

“Sir Kaeya, you should be careful saying such things. If you aren’t, somebody might fall for you. It’s like a honey trap. Give the wrong person the wrong idea and you’ll find yourself in a pinch.”

With that, she left the calvary captain alone with his thoughts. He was pulled in by her, but knew she was dangerous. His mind shifted back to Venti’s word earlier and he clicked his tongue. The bard may have been onto something.

When Kaeya returned to the banquet, the Celestial Archon was back to eating and being doted on. Xiao’s glare was locked in and targeted as Kaeya sat a short distance from the goddess. Kaeya merely winked at him, sticking his tongue out slightly. The yaksha’s hand flew to the spear by his side as he snarled at the cryo wielder. The goddess noticed the sudden change in the atmosphere and moved to the adepti’s lap. He blushed and scowled, but set his head on her shoulder.

The young woman’s affection towards Xiao didn’t go unnoticed and soon Zhongli was offering her tea while Venti offered her booze. Even Jean was attempting to seek some attention from the goddess. For once, Diluc and Kaeya had the same thought. That woman is troublesome.

#genshin impact #genshin impact xiao #genshin x reader #albedo x reader #genshin impact albedo #xiao x reader #genshin impact imagines #kaeya x reader #genshin kaeya #genshin khaenri'ah #genshin liyue #genshin mondstadt #genshin aether #genshin alatus #genshin jean #genshin impact zhongli #zhongli x reader #Celestial Archon Series

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kpopfanfictrash · 3 years

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Raise the Barre (Ch. 11)

Author: kpopfanfictrash

Pairing: Jimin / Reader

Rating: 18+ (Eventual Smut)

Genre: Enemies to Lovers / Dance Academy!AU

Warnings: ANGST part 3! But again, with progress attached.

Word Count: 10,246

Summary: You and Park Jimin have been rivals for as long as you’ve known one another; ever since he tripped you in the front row of your first dance convention. When you graduate from high school and enter Russet Ballet Academy, you tell yourself you’re leaving all past quarrels behind. The main problem with this though, is that your past seems determined not to leave you alone.

Worse still, the obstacles you face while out in the real world might prove more challenging than anything your enemy has to offer.

When you woke Saturday morning, you felt clearer about things than you’d felt all week. Your nap had lasted longer than intended, so when you woke around ten and groggily looked at your phone, you realized you’d missed your opportunity to talk to Finn.

He’d called around seven, but you seemed to have slept through this, and he’d left you no voicemail. Shooting him a text, you tried to stay up but promptly fell back asleep. When you woke to the sun streaming through your windows the next morning, you realized this was it. You’d reached a breaking point.

Pushing aside your covers, you climbed down from bed and began to get ready. Staring at yourself in the mirror, you fixed yourself up as best as you could before leaving the dorm. It was still early in the morning, the air containing a chill while you walked to the coffee shop. Finn still hadn’t responded to your text from the night prior, so you decided to give him an hour before you went over.

It had been three days since your fight in the library. If he didn’t know what to say to you by now, he could figure out what to say when he saw you in person. Steeling yourself for this possibility, you entered the shop and walked to the counter.

Staring at the holiday specials on the board, you felt nothing but numbness. As you ordered a peppermint latte and left a tip, you made a mental note to pick up Noelle one on your way home. She’d been the best friend to you this week – all weeks, really. Despite not knowing what was wrong, she’d done her best to cheer you up and be there for you.

Sipping your coffee at a table in the corner, you stared blankly at your phone. It was strange, being in a place you’d once been happy with Finn and no longer feeling attached to the memory. It was strange, contemplating the idea of breaking up with a cool sort of detachment, as though it were happening to someone other than you.

You wondered if all relationships reached a point where you simply felt tired. Maybe all humans had an emotional cap; a quota wherein all emotions following simply went unfelt. If this was this case, you imagined you might have hit yours.

Once your drink was finished, you stood and walked to place your mug in the bin. It had officially been an hour, which meant it was time to confront Finn at Redfield. Hiking your bag higher, you were about to leave the shop when you heard a familiar voice coming from behind a potted plant.

“Mom, are you serious?” Sabrina said, sounding upset. “This is a good thing.”

Uncertain, you paused. When you glanced around the fern, you saw Sabrina seated with someone unfamiliar at a table. The other person was a woman – older than you and, judging by the conversation, she seemed to be Sabrina’s mother.

Whoever she was, the woman sighed with the tone of someone who’d had this conversation before. “Tell me what’s good about it, Sabrina,” she demanded. “Vlad Copson is recommending you take additional classes outside of Russet.”

“I know.” Sabrina faltered. “It’s just because I asked about the contemporary dance program, though. I don’t… I don’t have a lot of experience in that area.”

“And whose fault is that?”

“I’m not saying it’s anyone’s fault, I’m just saying I want to–”

“We’ve been over this before, Sabrina. You need to work harder.”

Sabrina stopped talking. “I know.”

“Do you, though?” Pulling out her phone, her mother scrolled through her email. “You’ve had every advantage money could buy. Private lessons, an elite dance academy. How could you possibly be falling behind? It’s barely even the first semester.”

“Everyone’s talented at Russet, mom.”

Realizing you were staring, you side-stepped until you were hidden partway behind the fern. Mind racing, you wondered if this was what Sabrina had wanted to discuss. You’d had no idea she was interested in contemporary dance. She hadn’t seemed comfortable in the master class last week – but then again, maybe that’s what sparked this conversation.

It was strange to hear her sounding so small, so defeated. You were used to Sabrina being larger than life. If nothing else, the Sabrina you knew was confident – as soon as you thought this, a different memory came to mind. Something Jimin had said to you inside Dr. Gonzalez’s office.

He’d compared you to Sabrina and mentioned she was more insecure than you were.

“Why don’t you ask one of your friends for help?” said Sabrina’s mother. “Kelsey… or Alex?”

“Katie and Allison,” Sabrina stiffly corrected. “I asked them but um, they didn’t have time. You know… end of semester and stuff…”

She trailed off, sounding uncomfortable and you frowned. Again, you remembered last week’s master class. Sabrina’s friend Katie had stood beside Jungkook instead of helping her out. You’d thought it was weird at the time, but maybe they weren’t as close as you thought they were.

Or maybe they were similar, in that Katie wasn’t the type of person to help someone else when she had the chance to pull ahead.

Her mother made a noncommittal noise. “We’ll, you’ll just have to figure something out then, won’t you? I told you something like this would happen. That boy was a distraction. You’re better off now that you’ve ended things with him.”

Stiffening, you wondered if the boy they spoke about was Jimin, but then Sabrina scowled.

“Eamon was not a distraction,” she said, sounding sure of herself for the very first time.

Eyes widening, you stared. You’d had no idea Sabrina and Eamon were even a thing. Frantically, you thought back and tried to piece it together. You remembered Eamon leaving the dance floor at the club to head upstairs, which was where Sabrina had been sitting. Ten minutes later, she’d stormed into the downstairs bathroom in tears.

Based on what her mom was saying, it sounded as though Sabrina had broken up with Eamon. Immediately, your heart fell, and you wondered if your fight with Sabrina in the bathroom had been part of this aftermath.

“Still,” her mother said. “The time you spent with him was time you could’ve spent practicing! You’re young, Sabrina and ballerinas only perform until they’re thirty-five – if that. You’ll have plenty of time to date later on.”

“I barely even saw him as it was!”

“Maybe I need to cut the hours on your phone again.”

“You don’t need to do that,” Sabrina said tightly. “I need to go.” She stood from the table, chair scraping beneath her. “I told Katie we’d meet to head to a ballet class uptown. I’ll talk to you later, okay?”

“Alright, then.”

Her mom didn’t seem concerned, waving goodbye like one might an acquaintance. Sabrina hovered a moment before hitching her bag to walk past. You realized you were still standing there, gawping at and swiftly sprang into action.

Pushing your way out the door, the bell jingled above you. You saw Sabrina’s head move but left before you could see if she’d noticed your presence. Hurrying down the sidewalk, you pulled your jacket tighter and kept your head down. That hadn’t seemed like a conversation you were meant to overhear.

Also, you weren’t sure what you’d overheard. As your steps began to slow, Sabrina’s comment from earlier in the year began to make sense. She’d relayed her mother’s advice on success – that only a few women ever made it to the top and as such, if Sabrina helped you to succeed, it’d be detrimental to her.

Having now seen Sabrina’s mom in action, you understood where she got this from. At the time, you’d been mad at Sabrina but now, you felt a strange sense of pity. The possibility of Sabrina falling behind had never crossed your mind and yet, it seemed Mr. Vlad had recommended extra classes. This made you think about what Jimin had said. Everyone at Russet was corrected, at some point of another.

At least you had a support system to fall back on, though; Sabrina had nothing. Her so-called friends had fled at the first sign of conflict and her mother didn’t seem interested beyond her ranking in class. This struck you as indescribably sad.

Unfortunately, you didn’t have time to linger upon Sabrina’s situation – as soon as you entered Redfield’s campus, all thoughts of Russet flew from your mind. Redfield University was such a short walk you’re your campus; if you did break up, it would be so awkward to run into Finn later on.

This was something you would’ve considered in high school, but you hadn’t imagined this to be a factor once you went to college. The realization made your heart sink, realizing how distant you’d become despite living so close together.

As you walked under Redfield’s archway, you exhaled a breath you hadn’t realized you were holding. Orange-brown leaves crunched underfoot, seemingly having fallen from trees overnight. As you wound between dorms, you saw only a few people about at this hour. Pulling your bag higher, you hoped Finn would even be at his dorm.

He’d talked about moving off campus a few weeks ago – there wasn’t much space in the city for dorms, so students often moved out after freshman year, or even during their second semester. Maybe Finn would move further away and solve your concerns about running into each other.

Startled, you realized you were thinking about Finn in the past tense. Shaking this thought from mind, you stuffed your hands in your pockets and walked to his dorm. It took longer this time for someone to let you in – it seemed most of Redfield didn’t wake before 10:00 AM – but soon enough, you were climbing the steps to his room.

Your hands trembled as you walked down the hall, the lack of noise oddly suffocating when you stopped at his door. It took you a long moment to knock; several heartbeats you counted out like a watch.

After a second, you heard movement inside.

“Ben?” Finn called out, a bit groggy. “I already told you. I don’t want to get breakfast, I –”

He pulled open the door, revealing the entire room and you froze.

It was difficult to choose what to focus on first. Finn, in his boxers, Madison tugging on jeans, or the unmade bed behind them in the corner. Your gaze darted to each one in turn until, feeling suddenly nauseous, you stumbled backwards.

When he saw it was you, Finn froze in place. As soon as he came to his senses, he stepped into the hall and tried to shut the door, but it was too late. You’d already seen.

Every emotion you’d felt over the past couple of days rose to the surface. All the horror you’d felt, the self-flagellation you’d done – it had all been for nothing.

Suddenly livid, you began to see red.

“No,” you said, pushing past him. Shoving open the door, you glared hard at Madison. “I think I’d rather have this conversation in here. You should leave,” you informed her.

Finn muttered something which sounded like a curse. Madison glanced at him, startled and Finn slowly turned. Wrestling a hand through his hair, he seemed slightly panicked as he nodded at Madison.

“You should probably go, Maddie,” he said.

Hearing him speak, your vision blurred. He’d called Madison ‘Maddie’ in the library, but it suddenly struck you how familiar it was. How casual, how intimate her name sounded on his tongue. Closing your eyes, you forced the image from mind.

It refused to go.

Swallowing hard, you realized you couldn’t do this. You couldn’t have this conversation right now; couldn’t stay any longer.

Opening your eyes, you quickly shook your head. “I have to go,” you said, pushing past him. “Forget it, Finn. We’re done.”

As soon as you left, you bolted for the exit. Heading for the stairs, your blood pounded in your veins and drowned out all thought. You were grateful for this, since if you had time to think rationally, you’d think about Finn and Madison, half-dressed in the dorm.

Slamming open the door to the stairwell, you were halfway across the lobby when the elevator dinged and slid open.

“Y/N, wait!” Finn gasped, running out. He hopped on one foot as he slid on a sneaker. “Please – please, talk to me.”

You continued to walk. “There’s nothing to talk about, Finn.”

“There is,” he insisted, grabbing you by the elbow and turning you to face him.

Roughly, you shrugged him off.

“Please,” he begged, sounding desperate. “Please. I fucked up, Y/N. I fucked up so badly and I’m sorry.”

Freezing in place, you met his gaze.

You honestly couldn’t believe what you were hearing. Finn was asking you to forgive him. He was asking you to forgive him as though he wanted you to stay. He had cheated on you. Finn was an absolute idiot if he thought you’d forgive him after that. If he thought you could trust him after that.

Immediately, your heart sank because you’d cheated on him, as well – maybe not like this, but you’d cheated all the same.

Some of the anger drained from your body.

“What are you sorry about?” you said, turning to face him.

Finn shook his head. “For… that,” he said. “For you having to see that.”

“Are you sorry for sleeping with her?”

He winced. “Yes.”

Releasing a low laugh, you looked away. A strange thought occurred to you, and you remembered Yoongi’s reaction when he’d said the name Madison. It seemed too coincidental for you to have walked in on their first time together.

Still facing away from him, you asked, “How many times?”

Finn paused. He exhaled, sounding pained and you felt your heart stumble.

“Just once,” he whispered. “But… we kissed last weekend. I was really drunk on Halloween and I… apparently, we kissed.”

It hurt more than you thought it would. Like a physical punch to the gut, you imagined Finn with his body on hers, their lips molded together, and his hands tangled her hair.

Swallowing hard, you nodded. “Oh.”

“It was stupid,” Finn insisted, stepping forward. “The kiss on Halloween – I didn’t even remember it until Madison told me on Thursday. She was there when I came back from our fight and asked if I remembered what happened Saturday. I said that I didn’t. She explained what happened, we got to talking and I…”

“I get it,” you said tightly, looking back. “I don’t need a play-by-play.”

“Sorry.”

“I called you, Finn. Multiple times.”

“I know.” Lifting his palms, he rubbed at his eyes. “I know, but when I got your message… I didn’t want to talk anymore. I thought what I wanted was to break up with you and Madison… she was simple, you know? I was hurt, she was there and it just kind of happened.”

His words sounded so crushingly similar to how you’d felt with Jimin. It was like looking at a warped mirror of yourself and this was when you realized nothing about this was normal. The two of you had hurt each other too many times to ever get back.

“Please say something,” he said. “Y/N, please.”

“What do you want me to say?” you said quietly.

“I – I don’t know.”

After a moment, you said, “Do you still love me?”

“Yes,” Finn murmured.

When you made a dismissive noise, his gaze narrowed.

“It’s true,” Finn insisted, stepping closer. “I do love you. That’s what I realized when I woke up this morning. I rolled over and saw her and I just… I knew, Y/N. I’d made the worst mistake of my life. I woke up this morning and knew I didn’t want to break up after all.”

“Don’t… don’t do that,” you exhaled, looking away.

“Don’t do what?”

“Don’t try and put this back together,” you bit out, eyes flashing. “If it took you sleeping with someone else to make you realize you wanted me, then I don’t know what to tell you.”

Finn was silent for a moment.

“I know,” he said miserably. “I know that you’re right, and I’m sorry.”

The words hung in the air and you couldn’t help it – you ached. The temptation to give in was right there. The temptation to forgive, to forget and let things go back to normal. But when you looked at Finn, you saw her, and you knew this could never be fixed.

“Why?” you said, voicing the first question you thought of.

He blinked. “Why, what?”

“Why her?”

“I…” He looked down. “I don’t know. She was my friend and then… I don’t know. She was there. Maddie listened to me, she paid attention and it felt like you were slipping further away.”

“So… you slept with her because she listened to you?”

Finn groaned and closed his eyes. “I don’t even know why I’m trying to explain. I can’t. I can’t explain this away, it can’t be excused… I’m sorry, Y/N.” Slowly, he shook his head. “So, so sorry.”

After a moment, you looked at the elevator. “Is she still up there?”

Finn opened his eyes and nodded.

“Tell her to go.”

Silently, he pulled out his phone and sent a text. Finn waited for a reply and once he got it, slipped his phone back in his pants.

“She’s taking the stairs down,” he said.

“Then let’s take the elevator.”

While you waited for this to come, you crossed both arms over your chest and stared at the numbers. You weren’t going upstairs because you thought Finn deserved a second chance. If anything, his infidelity made it clear you both wanted out. Your constant hurting each other meant more than the love you’d once shared.

This wasn’t love, anyways.

Hanging onto that ideal would only demolish you further. You were going upstairs because you owed that much to yourself. You deserved more than half-explanations and you weren’t leaving until you got them. You and Finn had been together two years at this point. If you left now and ran away, you’d always wonder what if.

When you entered his room, you came to a stop in the center. Yoongi wasn’t here and you felt a twinge of regret, realizing he’d been trying to tell you something Wednesday. Turning around, you slowly sat on the edge of his futon. This seemed a safer option than his bed.

Finn hovered a few feet away.

“So,” you said, looking up. “You still love me?”

“I do.”

Gently, you closed your eyes. “And you think that’s enough?”

Finn didn’t say anything at first, sensing a trap until at last, you sighed.

“It’s not enough,” you said, opening your eyes. “That’s what I was coming over to tell you. Finn, you haven’t even texted me since our fight on Wednesday. You just ghosted me, and I know – I know I’ve done that to you, too. But that’s the point! We keep hurting one another. Is this really the relationship you want?”

“No,” he said miserably.

“Then, what do you want?”

“What do you expect me to say to that?” he said, sounding frustrated.

“You’re the one who’s saying you love me,” you pointed out. “You’re the one who’s saying this was all a mistake. Do you really want to be together still, Finn?”

“Yes.”

“Bullshit!” You gave a bitter laugh. “Don’t just say the word without knowing what it means. Do you want to be in this relationship, Finn? I don’t mean the idyllic version of us. I mean the messy, right-now version. Do you really want that?”

He stared at you, uncertain. “I just… I want us how we used to be.”

“Don’t you see, though?” you whispered. “We can’t be that. I want that too, Finn, but so much has happened. Not just the cheating, but everything else. All the fighting, all the miscommunication. You have a specific idea of what your girlfriend should be, and I’m not it. Not anymore.”

“I don’t need any of that though,” Finn finally said. He sat beside you on the futon. “I mean, yeah. I’d like to see you more. I want to be with you more. But that’s just it. I want you. I –”

“I kissed Jimin.”

Finn immediately stopped. He stared at you a second, as though struggling to make sense of the words. When you turned and met gaze, you felt your heart break again. This wasn’t how you’d planned on telling him. You had wanted to explain, wanted to ease him into it, but it was clear Finn wouldn’t stop until he knew this was over.

His lips parted, and then his gaze narrowed. “When did this happen?”

“Wednesday.”

“So, after…” He paused, as though calculating. “After our fight.”

“Yeah. After you accused me of cheating with him.”

Finn sat back on the futon, a bit dazed. He stared at the wall for a long moment, then looked your way. “Was our fight… was that the reason…?”

“No,” you said sadly. “Or maybe. I don’t know. There were a lot of things. I was confused and upset, so I went to dance and Jimin was there…”

Trailing off, you heard the words said out loud and knew how similar they sounded to his. You had been upset and Jimin had been there. The main difference was, after Finn had cheated he’d realized he wanted to stay and you’d realized you needed to go.

Glancing at him, you waited for Finn to speak, but he didn’t.

“I was crying,” you whispered. “Jimin saw me and he asked what was wrong. He was being so nice and I just… I kissed him. I don’t know why.”

Finn slowly closed his eyes.

Now, you were the one waiting desperately for him to speak. “Say something.”

He shook his head. “I don’t… don’t know what to say. Do you want to be with him? Is that what this is about?”

“No, I – well, I don’t know.”

He opened his eyes in disbelief. “You don’t know?”

“I wanted to come and talk to you,” you said, a bit frantic. “We haven’t talked since Wednesday and I needed to see what you felt.”

“What I felt?” Finn stared. “I felt like I’d fucked up, but I still loved you and wanted us to be together. Now, you’re telling me you don’t want that.”

“It’s not that I don’t want it. It’s just – how?” you blurted. “Finn, you cheated on me. How am I supposed to trust you after this? How are you supposed to trust me?”

His face crumpled a little. “I don’t know,” he said hoarsely. “And please… don’t say that’s all I seem to be able to say.”

You managed to smile, although this disappeared quickly.

“Guess you know me pretty well,” you said quietly.

Finn sat there and stared at the floor for a moment. “Yeah, I guess I do,” he exhaled. “Which is why I have to say… this thing with Jimin. It’s not just a kiss, is it?”

Slowly, you shook your head.

He closed his eyes. “Right. So… what now?”

“I think you know what now.”

Finn leaned back on the futon. “Were you planning on breaking up with me when you came over this morning?”

“I wanted to talk things out with you, Finn. Things have been so bad lately.”

“So, yes.”

“I honestly didn’t know.” You looked at him helplessly. “But after seeing you with her, it all seemed so clear. Finn, what are we doing? We’ve hurt each other so much and we keep on hurting each other.”

“I know.” Miserably, he looked away. “I just… I love you, Y/N.”

“I love you too, Finn.”

Honestly, you weren’t sure if you loved him anymore but seated on this futon, faced with the prospect of not being together, you couldn’t help but reminisce about the past. All the good times you’d spent, the laughter, the kisses and firsts that you’d shared. Finn had meant so much to you at one point. How your relationship ended didn’t change that.

Slowly, he turned, and you saw his eyes were red. “So, is this…” Choking a little, he swallowed. “Are we…?”

Heart breaking, you leaned in and wrapped your arms around him. Something wet landed on your shoulder and you realized he was crying. Hugging Finn tighter, you buried your face in his chest and felt your eyes start to water.

For a long time, you simply held one another and cried. It felt therapeutic, as though everything had changed but for only this moment, you’d found your way back. For a single moment, you let yourself believe the semester had never happened and none of this pain had ever come between you.

It didn’t work completely.

In the back of your mind, your heart continued to ache. The image of Finn with someone else remained and you couldn’t fully erase it. For a moment though, you let yourself play make-believe.

When you left his dorm hours later, you felt utterly exhausted. Finn had tried to convince you to stay longer, but you’d flatly refused. At some point, you needed to draw the line.

Coming to a stop outside Redfield, you stared at the brick archway and realized you wouldn’t see it again. You were single.

For a word which was supposed to feel freeing, it felt oddly heavy. Turning around, you began to walk in the direction of Russet. It didn’t take long to get there, entering Grace Hall and climbing the steps to your room in a numbed haze.

Noelle took one look at you when you entered and immediately shut her laptop. Dimly, you realized you’d forgotten her coffee. You needed to remember to do that tomorrow. Before you could make it two steps inside though, you felt the tears forming.

“Oh, no babe,” said Noelle, descending her ladder. “Don’t cry!”

As you plopped down on the futon, she joined, rubbing your back while you buried your face in your hands.

“I’m sorry,” you said, choking up a little. “I just – Finn…”

“What happened?”

“We… we broke up.”

“Oh, no, babe.”

“Yeah,” you said, wiping your eyes on your sleeve.

“What happened?”

“I…” You hesitated. “He cheated on me.”

“He what?” Noelle rose from the futon. “That crusty, limp lint ball. I will… I will cut off his balls with a rusty spoon!”

“I also kissed Jimin.”

Startled, she turned. “Oh.” Noelle paused. “Well. I’m still going to cut off Finn’s balls.”

Weakly, you laughed. Taking a deep breath, you found the whole story pouring out of you again. Noelle sat down, listening to you speak and nodding encouragingly. Oddly enough, as you told her everything, the weight on your chest seemed to lighten a little.

You’d thought it would be the opposite. This was one of the main reasons you’d kept things inside you for so long, not bothering to tell anyone what you were going through. The idea of burdening others made you feel guilty but talking to your mom had made you realize some truths about yourself.

It was the same thing with Noelle. Seeing her face when you described walking in on Finn and Madison was enough to reinforce you’d made the right decision. She was so livid when you told her, you needed to tug her back to the futon again.

“Okay, but you only kissed Jimin,” she insisted. “You stopped right away! And you know what Finn did? He avoided you for days, decided you were going to break up and then slept with someone else. He kissed her!” she said, arms flailing. “And thought hm, better go in deeper! God, I hate men.”

It hurt to laugh, but you couldn’t help it. Noelle was right. It was ridiculous when she put it like that. Yes, you’d fucked things up but at least you’d tried to fix it. At least you’d been realistic about what had happened. Finn had messed up and just wanted you to forgive him.

“The worst part was he tried to get me to stay,” you whispered, knees curled into your chest. “That really hurt, you know? It was like he didn’t realize how much he wanted me until he’d had someone else. I couldn’t stop thinking… what about the next time? What if every time things got hard, he ran off and stuck his dick in someone else?”

Although Noelle snorted, she shook her head. “He’s dumb, babe. And immature. Men that age always are.”

“I know,” you said quietly, staring at your knees. “But he was my dumb and immature guy. And now… I just feel kind of empty.”

“Ah, Y/N.”

“I know.” Closing your eyes, you shook your head. “It’s stupid, but I keep thinking about all the small things that’ll be different. Like, Finn loves this one video game and I used to send him memes I found on Twitter all the time. Or we were watching this TV show together and now, I’ll have to watch the next season alone. Or Finn won’t text me good morning, or tell me good night and I just…”

“Hey.” Noelle pulled you closer when you began to cry. “It’s okay, babe. Even if he hurt you, even if it was the right decision to break up – you can still be upset about it. You can still love him. Feelings like that don’t go away overnight.”

Weakly, you nodded. You knew Noelle was right but couldn’t help feeling broken. Everyone said the only thing which healed heartbreak was time. It was the only balm to this kind of pain, but on the first day of your breakup, time seemed like such a cruel concept.

“If it makes you feel better,” Noelle offered. “I’ll watch the TV show with you.”

“You don’t even know what it is.”

“Doesn’t matter.”

Weakly, you smiled. “You might end up regretting that.”

“I might,” she agreed, smiling as you pulled away.

Standing up from the futon, Noelle went to your minifridge and opened the freezer compartment. “Fuck weigh-ins,” she said, retrieving your ice cream and grabbing two spoons.

You both dug in, taking a large bite of fudge ripple. The treat tasted like sawdust on your tongue – somehow, you didn’t seem to have an appetite.

“I think you did the right thing, for what it’s worth,” Noelle offered.

“Yeah?” you said, taking another scoop. “Then, why does it suck so much?”

“Love sucks.”

“True.”

“He cheated, babe,” she said, a bit gentler.

“Yeah. I think that’s the worst part, though. I can kind of understand why he did.”

“Oh, no.” Noelle clucked her tongue. “Don’t go down that road.”

Weakly, you smiled. “It’s just… Finn was right. I never had time for him. I didn’t really fit in with his Redfield friends. His schedule always took a backseat to mine and I just… I can understand him not feeling like a priority in my life. What kind of girlfriend does that make me?”

“The strong kind.”

When you looked at her, Noelle seemed deadly serious. Lowering her ice cream spoon, she slowly exhaled.

“You’re a woman with ambition, Y/N,” she said quietly. “I won’t lie, that terrifies a lot of men. A lot of guys want their ego stroked and when their self-esteem can’t be fixed by someone else, they’ll blame you. You’re not a bad person for knowing what you want, though. When you find the right guy, he’ll love that about you.”

Immediately, your eyes watered. It was exactly what you’d needed to hear right now. Leaning forward, you hugged her again and silently thanked Russet Academy for pairing you as roommates.

You stayed awake for a while, ordering a pizza which Noelle forced you to eat. As she put on a movie and you settled into the futon, you thought more about Finn and what Noelle had said.

She was right, you knew. Finn didn’t want the kind of woman you’d become. The kind of woman he wanted wasn’t bad – not inherently. He wanted someone who fit into his life, someone who wasn’t defined by their career. Someone who could leave their job at five and spend time with him after.

It was fine to want those things, but it wasn’t okay to place those things on you. Possibly if you’d realized this earlier, none of this would’ve happened. It was pointless to wonder what-if, though. Before you came to Russet, you hadn’t even known this part of yourself existed.

You and Finn had spent two wonderful years together in high school. That wasn’t something you wanted to forget, but things between you were different now. It would be foolish to stay together while trying to ignore the fact that you both walked on different paths.

Somewhere in the middle of the second movie you dozed off and when you woke, you found Noelle turning off the lights and putting things away. Mumbling good night, you climbed into bed and plugged your phone into the wall.

Finn hadn’t texted, for which you were grateful.

Jimin hadn’t either.

Rolling over, you found you couldn’t think about him right now. There was too much to unpack, especially fresh off your breakup with Finn. You’d said things about Jimin you needed to digest, but you couldn’t afford to do that right now.

Right now, all you could do was start to recover.

By Monday morning, you felt like a zombie. Noelle had done her best to distract you over the weekend, but the looming prospect of Monday drained whatever progress you’d made.

It was the closest you’d ever come to being late to class. The second hand was between 7:59 and 8:00 when you and Noelle entered the room. Setting your things down at the barre, you caught Mr. Vlad’s disapproving gaze before he shut the door.

He began to teach pliés and you found yourself falling into the familiar rhythm. All weekend long, you’d dreaded coming to dance because you knew you’d be distracted. In the past, whenever your personal life had fallen apart, this usually had resulted in mistakes in your professional. Not today.

Today, you let the soothing movement drag you under. The repetitive nature of warm-ups gave a much-needed break to your overworked mind. For the first time in days, your eyes didn’t water for unknown reasons. Overwhelmed with gratitude for the momentary peace, you threw yourself into your exercises at center.

When the time came to find your partner, you spotted Jimin for the first time today. He found you first, winding across the room to stand by your side.

He was silent for a moment, then glanced in your direction. “Hey.”

“Hey,” you said softly.

Jimin’s brow furrowed. He searched your face and seemed about to speak, but then Mr. Vlad began to teach. Falling quiet, Jimin learned the steps alongside you. He didn’t say anything more during adagio, but you caught him occasionally looking from the corner of your eye.

Feebly, you hoped you didn’t look too terrible. This was probably a lost cause, given you’d barely glanced in the mirror before leaving. Not that how you looked was a priority right now. It didn’t even crack the top ten, but you couldn’t help wanting Jimin to see you. Your conversation with Finn had been eye-opening in so many ways.

Not least of all was how you felt about Jimin. Finn had asked if you wanted to date him and you’d replied you didn’t know.

Just a week prior, you would’ve blustered your way through a response. You would’ve said of course, not but you would’ve been lying. Something important existed between you, but along with it came a sinking feeling.

Breaking up with Finn had been the most difficult decision you’d ever made. Everything Noelle had said was right – feelings didn’t disappear overnight, no matter how badly you wanted them to. No matter the pain he’d put you through and no matter the pain you’d caused him.

You had a lot you needed to learn before you began dating someone new. You’d thought you’d known what you wanted before and had been proven wrong. It would be equally foolish to think you knew what you wanted right now.

Besides, you had kissed Jimin while still dating Finn. That was a terrible foundation to a new relationship. Your own words came back to you about trusting Finn. He’d cheated on you with Madison and you knew that if you’d stayed, you would have always wondered if he’d do it again.

Maybe Jimin would always think this about you.

The thought made your chest ache since it could’ve been avoided. If you’d done something differently, if you’d been less stubborn and ended things with Finn earlier, you wouldn’t be feeling this way now.

Such thoughts were pointless though because they weren’t what had happened. It was meaningless to wonder what-if because the point was, you hadn’t. You hadn’t ended things earlier. You hadn’t left when Jimin found you that night. You’d made the choices which made the most sense at the time – or in a moment of weakness – and now, you needed to live with the consequences.

At the end of class, you were packing your things when you felt a shadow fall over your bag. Glancing up, you expected to see Jimin and found Sabrina before you.

Surprised, you sat back. You’d nearly forgotten about the conversation you’d overheard in the cafe but now, it all came rushing back. As you straightened, you caught sight of Jimin as he walked out the door and felt your stomach twist.

You had been hoping to catch Jimin after class to tell him – what, exactly?

You didn’t know what you’d wanted to say. You didn’t know what would be appropriate. Should you say you’d broken up with Finn? You didn’t want to give Jimin any kind of false hope. He should at least know you were sorry, though. You were sorry for kissing him, sorry you’d run away and sorry in general for messing things up so badly.

“Hey, Y/N.” Sabrina adjusted her bag. “Can we talk?”

After a moment, you nodded and zipped your bag shut. “Yeah,” you said as you stood. “Yeah, okay.”

Noelle walked past, hovering when she saw you speaking with Sabrina. Her gaze moved between you. “Are you heading back to the dorm, Y/N?”

“In a second,” you said, managing to smile. “I just need to do something first.”

Noelle nodded, but her gaze lingered before she walked away. You couldn’t blame her for her suspicion. Sabrina had been nothing but rude to you the entire year but now, you had a little more insight as to why.

Somehow, you couldn’t bring yourself to hate her. You kept contrasting your last phone call to your mom with the conversation you’d overheard. If Sabrina received that kind of support in her own home, it kind of made sense for her to be the way she was with ballet.

Sabrina turned, leaving the class as you followed. You walked beside her in silence until you reached a secluded part of the hall. Here, Sabrina turned and hesitated when she saw you. The difference was startling; you were so used to the version of Sabrina who was constantly on the defensive.

“Hey,” she repeated.

She didn’t add on, so you arched a brow. “Hey. Don’t take this the wrong way, Sabrina but – what do you want?”

Her upper lip quirked. Just as quickly, her expression smoothed to normalcy. “I thought I saw you on Saturday,” she said bluntly. “Was that you in the coffee shop near Grace?”

You paused, debating whether to lie but deciding it wasn’t worth it.

“Yeah,” you said. “That was me.”

“Did you hear what me and my mom were saying?”

Again, you hesitated but before you could respond, she rolled her eyes. “What am I saying?” Sabrina muttered. “I know you were close enough to overhear.”

Unwittingly, you almost smiled. It was kind of refreshing to hear her speak like this again. Your last interactions had thrown you, making you rethink who Sabrina was. Her bluntness was oddly comforting in its normalcy.

“Well, if you know I overheard, why are you asking?” you shot back. “Look – you don’t need to worry about me telling anyone. I’ll forget what I heard, and we can go back to hating each other. I don’t care about your personal life, Sabrina.”

A flicker of something unknown passed over her face. She nodded, curt and you turned to leave – but then she exhaled.

“Wait,” she said quietly.

Stopping in your tracks, you looked over your shoulder. “What?”

Sabrina made the oddest expression, halfway between regret and disgust. “I wanted to apologize,” she said at last.

Eyes widening, you froze. Seeming to mistake your silence for anger, Sabrina barreled on.

“That’s why I wanted to talk the other day in class,” she admitted. “It’s been bothering me all week what went down on Halloween. I wasn’t in a good place then and I took that out on you. I – I’m sorry about that.”

Finally, you managed to shake yourself free.

“You’re… apologizing? To me?”

“Yes. Listen, this is awkward enough without me having to repeat myself.”

Again, you suppressed a smile. Folding your arms over your chest, you forced a stern expression. “Yeah, well, forgive me if I’m having trouble comprehending,” you said. “You don’t really seem like the apology type.”

“I’m not.”

“Then, why are you now?”

Sabrina exhaled and looked away. “I’m not going to pretend I regret everything that’s happened between us this year,” she said. “Most of it I stand by. But… it wasn’t your fault I snapped at you on Halloween. I was down and I was feeling jealous.”

Your eyes widened. “Jealous? Of me?”

She nodded, then looked back. “I got crappy feedback during the master class and then you came over, inviting me out on Halloween like some pity invitation. I know,” she said, catching your look. “Maybe that’s not what you intended, but that’s what it felt like. And then I was at that party, looking around and… I just realized no one liked me.”

More than anything else, this startled you. You hadn’t seen Sabrina much at the party but hadn’t heard anything negative, so you’d assumed she had a good time.

“I never really thought you’d be worried about something that,” you said cautiously. “Whether people liked you, or not.”

“Most of the time I don’t.” Sabrina paused. “Well. I don’t know. It’s hard,” she admitted, playing with a thread on her bag. “For the most part, I don’t. But sometimes…”

“Sometimes you do,” you finished.

“Yeah.” She nodded. “I know it’s no one’s fault but mine. I’m the one who pushes people away, who refused to help you when you asked. I was the one who left Jimin on read when he said he just wanted to be friends.”

“He… what?” you said, snagging on this thought.

Sabrina rolled her eyes. “You two really need to work through whatever’s going on between you. But anyways,” she continued. “I was going through a lot and… and I just lashed out. You were the one who happened to be closest.”

“That sucks, but… I get it,” you said.

You really could. It was what you did, after all. You’d done the same thing to Jimin after you got bad feedback at Russet. You’d eventually moved past this as a habit, but you couldn’t fault Sabrina for having the same journey as you.

“Seriously, though.” You tilted your head. “Why are you telling me this? It seems very… out of character for you.”

“I know.” Sabrina considered. “Honestly? I’m not sure. It’d be easier not to, but… then you overheard my conversation with my mom.”

Awkward, you shifted your weight. “Ah.”

Again, you thought you understood. It was difficult to reveal vulnerable parts of yourself. Sometimes it was easier when someone else did it for you.

“So,” you said and then paused. “Is your mom… always like that?”

“Like what?”

“So… intense?”

She gave a bitter smile. “That was her being chill.”

“Damn.”

“Yeah.” Sabrina shrugged. “She means well, I guess. My mom raised me alone after my dad left when I was young. She’s the top lawyer in the city, so she has firsthand experience on how to get there.” Here, Sabrina hesitated. “I just don’t think it’s always been the happiest road for her.”

“Probably not,” you admitted.

“I always thought that’s what I wanted,” Sabrina said softly. “To be like her, but with dance. At the top of my field, not needing anyone but myself. Now… I don’t know.”

Knowing this put a lot of things in perspective. Sabrina had been raised to believe she could only rely upon herself. It was no wonder she’d turned you down so many times.

“Well,” you said slowly. “I don’t think anything is set in stone, if that makes you feel better. It’s only the first semester, after all. There’s still plenty of time to make friends if that’s what you want.”

“Yeah.” She paused. “Maybe.”

You hesitated, and then nodded. “I appreciate the apology.”

“No problem.”

Glancing away, you wondered if this was all. While it helped to understand where Sabrina was coming from, you couldn’t imagine having sleepovers with her anytime soon. It was nice of her to apologize, but that was only a first step. You didn’t have much in common.

Except that wasn’t true, you realized. You had a lot in common, possibly more than you’d given yourself credit for. You understood more than you wanted about where she was coming from.

Turning back, you met her gaze. “So, Eamon?”

Her eyebrows shot upwards. “You heard that?”

“Kind of,” you said, offering a guilty smile. “What happened there?”

For the first time, a touch of sadness entered her gaze. “It’s a long story,” Sabrina said, and then hesitated.

You considered, then said, “I have time. Are you heading back to Grace Hall?”

Although Sabrina seemed surprised, she nodded, and you turned around. As you fell into step alongside her, you thought about how weird this all was. Returning to the dorm with Sabrina, talking and not being at each other’s throats.

Maybe you wouldn’t ever be friends, but you appreciated her attempt at an apology. You hadn’t realized how exhausting it was to have an enemy. To be constantly directing negative energy at something you couldn’t control – you had to give Sabrina credit because apologizing took courage. Taking a step forward was always an act of bravery.

As you walked, you felt your gut twist and an unknown voice whispered in your ear. It’d take an equal amount of courage to make things right with Jimin. Steeling yourself as you left the building, you determined you would do just that.

One step at a time, you’d move yourself forward.

Sabrina didn’t stay long, just long enough to explain about Eamon. Apparently, they’d been hooking up at the start of the year but had become something serious. Sabrina had broken it off at her mother’s insistence, but they hooked up again shortly before Halloween. When she’d ended things a second time, Eamon had been understandably frustrated.

It seemed clear Sabrina liked him, but you kept that thought to yourself. She’d either realize this on her own, or you’d eventually get to the point where you could give her a reality check. Once she eventually left, you lounged on your bed and scrolled through your phone.

As odd as the encounter with Sabrina had been, it’d taken your mind off Jimin and Finn for a moment. Now, left alone with your thoughts, you had time to overthink all your actions.

On Sunday, Noelle had made you go through your phone and delete all old conversations with Finn, blocking him on social media so he couldn’t reach out. You’d balked at this but eventually given in. Clearly, you were a creature of habit – it made sense to set physical boundaries.

Oddly though, it hadn’t been difficult not to text Finn today. Maybe because you’d been growing apart for so long. There had been multiple weeks since the start of the semester when you and Finn hadn’t even spoken for days.

Rolling over, you opened your photos and released a sigh. Finally, you began the arduous task you’d been dreading. Although you’d blocked Finn on social media, you’d yet to go through your old albums to delete. It had felt somehow wrong, as though you were ridding yourself of memories you one day might want.

Starting at the beginning of the semester, you began to delete. You found one from the night you’d moved into Russet and another from a walk at sunset along the river. There was one of Finn in his dorm room, pulling a stupid face at the camera. You deleted each one with a heavy heart, moving on to the next grouping and pausing.

Your scrolling had brought you to Halloween night. You found several photos of you, Noelle and Irene dressed as the PowerPuff girls. More from the pregame followed, with you playing flip cup and Jasmine cracking up. There were some from the couch and a few from when Hoseok had stolen your phone – when you scrolled to the next one, you froze.

The shot was candid, not taken by you, although you were in it. Paulo had made you laugh, nearly doubling over while you sat on the sofa. Irene and Jasmine were also in the shot, but it was Jimin who made you stop scrolling.

He was in the photo too, also laughing but his gaze remained focused on you. The look he gave you – it made your breath catch. You couldn’t remember the last time someone had looked at you like that; like they simply enjoyed seeing you happy.

Suddenly, you threw aside your covers and descended your bed. As you tossed on a coat, you hastily checked the mirror before deciding fuck it, and hurrying out the door. Your coat flapped as you walked, trying to zip this up with one hand.

It was only a block to the boy’s dorm, but it might as well have been across the entire city. Your teeth were chattering by the time you arrived, hurrying into the warmth of the lobby. You took the steps two at a time to Jimin’s floor, hurrying down the hall before you could second-guess yourself.

When you finally reached his doorway, you paused.

Eyes closed, you willed yourself to breathe. You could do this. Completely unconvinced by your lukewarm pep talk, you opened your eyes and forced yourself to knock.

You heard movement inside, saw the handle turn and then Hoseok flung open the door. When he met your gaze, his eyes widened. This fact made you wince, since it was obvious Hoseok knew about the kiss between you and Jimin. Either that, or you looked like an absolute mess. Possibly both.

Staring at you, Hoseok made a noise which sounded like, “Argh.”

Before you could respond, Jimin called out.

“Is that Alex?” he groaned, sounding closer. “Did he break the showerhead again? Because I swear to god, if he –”

Jimin stepped into the doorframe, stopping once he saw you. He stared at you for a moment and Hoseok awkwardly eased himself backwards.

“Uh, I forgot I need to go to the store,” he said, grabbing his coat. Shoving his feet into sneakers, Hoseok grabbed keys from a chair. “Just um, need to grab a few things. Ice cream. Condoms. You know, the usual. Bye, guys!” he said, edging around you. “Have fun!”

Hoseok fairly ran down the hall, his coat flapping behind him.

After a moment, you returned to Jimin. He still hadn’t moved, continuing to stare at you from inside his room.

“Hey,” you said weakly, giving a wave.

His gaze hardened.

“Wait,” you blurted, throwing out a hand in case he shut the door. “Please, Jimin. Just let me explain.”

“There’s nothing to explain, Y/N,” he said, a bit quiet.

“Yes, there is. Can I come in?”

Jimin hesitated, warring with something but finally, he sighed and stepped aside. You nodded your thanks as you passed, stopping inside his room.

It smelled like him. There were the usual dorm smells of plaster and concrete but beneath that was his cologne, his detergent and something unmistakably Jimin. It made your heart clench as you turned around.

Jimin continued to look at you warily.

Seeing him like this tore something within you. It hurt, seeing such blatant mistrust in his gaze. It hurt to stand here and wonder if he was the reason you were single. Deep down, you knew this wasn’t the case, but all the pain mingled and was hard to separate. Looking at him made you feel hurt, yet hopeful; confused, yet still longing.

Broken, you inhaled as you shut your eyes. “Finn and I broke up.”

“You – what?”

You could hear the shock in Jimin’s voice. Shock, confusion – and maybe something else. Something more, which made you long to move closer.

“Yeah,” you continued. “We broke up on Saturday.”

Jimin was quiet for a moment, long enough for you to open your eyes. His expression had softened a little, but not by much. Instead, he cocked his head.

“That’s why you looked so sad in class today,” he said at last.

Apparently, you’d done a worse job of hiding things than you’d thought.

“Yeah,” you said. “That’s why.”

Jimin swallowed and nodded before looking away. He pushed a hand through his hair, leaving several strands ruffled as he lowered his hand. Multiple emotions fled across his expression until at last, he exhaled and looked back.

“How are you?” he said.

It was such a Jimin response, your eyes immediately filled with tears. Of course, with all this between you, his first instinct would be your well-being.

His eyes widened in response. “No – Y/N, no,” Jimin said, rushing forward. Forcing himself to stop, he held himself still. “I didn’t mean to… shit,” he cursed, hanging his head. “Even when I’m mad at you, I just… I don’t want you to be sad, Y/N.”

The simplicity of his statement settled over you, making your heart ache in all its jagged pieces. Jimin was so good. He was so good to you, and you didn’t deserve him.

“Well,” you said with a hiccup. “I’ve been better, but that’s not why I came here.”

“No?”

“I came here to apologize.”

He blinked, but didn’t respond, so you took this as a sign to continue.

“I shouldn’t have kissed you,” you said in a rush. “I had a boyfriend and no matter how bad things were between us, I shouldn’t have kissed you like that. At the very least, I should’ve stayed when you asked me to talk. I – I’m so sorry, Jimin. Things have gotten so messed up.”

While you were speaking, his expression began to change. No longer did he seem angry, but something within his gaze had changed to uncertainty.

Swallowing hard, Jimin looked away. “It wasn’t your fault, Y/N.”

“No, I –”

“It wasn’t.” He looked back. “I knew you had a boyfriend. I knew it, but it didn’t stop me from feeling something for you. I was the idiot. Of course, the kiss didn’t mean something to you. It wasn’t fair of me to… to expect that from you and –”

“It did, though,” you said, cutting him off.

Jimin paused. “What?”

“The kiss. It meant something to me”

Breathing hitching, he stared at you in confusion. “What are you saying, Y/N?”

“I’m saying kissing you wasn’t about Finn,” you whispered, wrapping both arms around your waist. “I didn’t kiss you because Finn and I were fighting. I kissed you because I wanted to. Because I haven’t been able to stop thinking about you. Because I’d been wondering for weeks what it would be like. That’s why I kissed you, Jimin.”

Staring at you, his expression turned wondering.

“He was cheating on me,” you said, wanting him to know the whole truth. “That’s what I found when I went to see him on Saturday. My boyfriend was cheating on me.”

At this, his face hardened. “He’s… a fucking idiot,” Jimin said, low and intense. “What was he thinking, cheating on you? I swear, I’ll–”

“I cheated on him too, though.”

Jimin stopped talking.

He stared at you for a moment, and something within him seemed to falter. In that moment, you knew he understood. The kiss had been a mistake. You had been in the wrong and still, you couldn’t bring yourself to regret it. Neither of you did.

“That was different,” he said at last.

“Was it?” you said. “I think Finn and I have been drifting apart for a while now. Maybe if I had ended things earlier, things would’ve been better. I don’t know.”

“Maybe,” he allowed. “But you can’t blame yourself for that, Y/N.”

“I think I can a little. I didn’t want to admit we were growing apart. I couldn’t see things were over between us because there wasn’t some big, glaring reason.”

“That’s hard for anyone to do, though.”

“It wasn’t for you,” you pointed out. “You broke up with your ex before college.”

“That was different. We weren’t in love. You loved Finn – or you did at one point.”

Slowly, you nodded. “I did.”

“And now?” The look he gave you was cryptic. “Are you saying things between you are truly over?”

“Yeah,” you said quietly. “Things haven’t worked for a long time. I just didn’t want to see it.”

Jimin stared at you a moment, then his face gradually fell.

“I hate seeing you like this,” he said.

“Like a mess?”

“No. Sad.”

Staring at Jimin, your breath caught in your throat. The way he was looking at you made your heart ache and for a moment, you let yourself imagine a different reality. One where you’d never become enemies and instead, all the passion between you had been put into your friendship. Maybe even more than that.

At some point, Finn had looked at you the way Jimin did now. You just couldn’t remember the last time he had.

Even so, the fact that you’d compared Jimin to Finn in the same sentence was exactly the reason you needed to say what you did next.

“I’m not confessing to you,” you whispered, before you could stop yourself.

His expression flickered. “I didn’t think you were.”

“It’s just…” Trailing off, you shut your eyes. “I’m still hurting, Jimin. I might not be in love with Finn anymore, but I still love him. I don’t want to start a new relationship and have it become a mistake.”

“So. A new relationship would be a mistake?”

“It would be,” you said, opening your eyes. “At least, it would be right now. Finn and I broke up barely two days ago. I’m still hurt and confused and it just… I don’t want to mess anything up by diving into something else.”

Jimin looked at you intently, seeming to understand what you wouldn’t say. You couldn’t be with him until you’d moved on from Finn.

As intense as your feelings for Jimin were, it would be a mistake to start dating right now. The embers of your previous relationship still burned and if you entered something now with Jimin, he would always exist in the shadow of Finn.

If you wanted a chance at happiness – a real chance – you needed to give yourself some time to heal.

“I get it,” Jimin said, however quiet. “You should take your time.”

“Okay,” you said.

You stood there a moment, the silence lengthening between you but not in a bad way. It felt like a new kind of moment – one where you looked at Jimin and for the first time, saw possibilities and not only regrets.

“That’s all I came here to say,” you said softly. “I just wanted to tell you –”

“Y/N?” he said, interrupting.

Blinking, you stopped. “Yeah?”

Meeting your gaze, Jimin kept his own steady. “When you’re ready,” he said quietly. “You’ll tell me. Right?”

Thrown, you stared at him a moment. Finally, you nodded.

“Yeah,” you whispered. “I’ll tell you.”

Jimin smiled. You stood there another moment before realizing there was nothing more to say. You’d apologized and he’d apologized. He knew you were single, but you needed more time. You’d tell him once your heart became available again.

Saying goodbye, you left Jimin’s room and when you entered the hall, you felt completely unburdened for the first time in months. This sadness still lingered, a heaviness in your heart from everything which had happened but for the first time in ages, the future felt open.

As you exited the building, you came to a stop on the sidewalk and took a deep breath. The inky sky above you was full of city light and beyond that, were the stars.

When you inhaled, the air burned your lungs but somehow, this provided the clarity you needed. Winter could be like that. It was painful, withering away dead things, but it also made way for new growth to come.

Smiling faintly to yourself, you began to walk home.

Author’s Note: Thank you so much for reading 😊 WE ARE ALMOST DONE! Only the Epilogue remains! New chapters of Raise the Barre will be posted weekly; dates are listed on the series Master List. Requests for updates will be deleted.

RAISE THE BARRE MASTERLIST

#btsbookclub #bangtanarmynet #jimin fanfic #bts fanfic #jimin writing #bts writing #jimin au #jimin series #jimin dance au #bts au #bts series #bts dance au

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anntoldst0ries · 3 years

Text

Everything else is just the weather

Book: Open Heart Pairing: Dr Ethan Ramsey x F!MC (Dr Noelle Valentine) Word Count: ~5.3k (I sinned!) Summary: Ethan takes Elle out on their “first” date. Category: Fluff Warnings: None

A/N: It has literally taken me ages to finish this fic. To the point that I couldn’t look at it anymore, but here it is. I had it in mind for a really long time and now that OH is back, I feel like I’m ready to show it to the world. As always thank you for your support and I hope you like it!

This fic is part 2 of birthday present for my friend, part 1 is the fan art which you can see here. Once you read the fic, the fan art makes more sense :)

This is my submission for CFWC Silly Love Stories, Day 12: Date night.

Loud knocks resonated throughout the room.

"Come in!"

"Good morning, Mrs. Peterson.”

“Good morning, Dr Valentine. I think you are the only doctor in this hospital with some sort of manners, everyone else just waltzes in here as if it was a damn barn!”

“Hospital or no hospital, everyone has their right to privacy.”

“Thank you, child. Once again, please call me Faye."

"Alright Faye, but only if you call me Elle.” She smiled sweetly, and the whole room seemed to be suddenly lit by a thousand suns.

“How are you feeling? Are the meds making a difference?"

"They are. I am ready to be discharged today.”

"Not so fast. I am not ready to say goodbye to you yet."

“Why would you possibly like to be lumbered with an old nuisance like me for even a second longer than necessary?”

Elle just laughed and shook her head. The ‘nuisance’, as the elderly lady so lovingly put it, was exactly what she loved about her job. She loved spending time with her patients, she loved their stories and their worldly wisdom. It made her sad to see how many of them thought they didn’t matter or considered themselves and their lives boring. To her, they were anything but.

Many of Edenbrook’s staff members kept asking themselves: what is it about her? She was a great doctor, no two ways about it, and she was a genuinely nice person. But what was the source of power she had over people? If she woke up one day and decided to start a rebellion, patients would have most certainly followed her, even if it meant they’d be leaving the premises of the hospital with naked butts or trailing their IVs behind them. Doctors, nurses, administration, cleaners and security would follow shortly. She only had to say a word.

And how on Earth was she capable of turning Dr Ramsey, the grizzly bear of Edenbrook, into a benign teddy bear with as little as one look? It was beyond everyone’s apprehension.

Had they spent more time actually observing her, rather than gossiping in the corners, the answer would have unveiled in front of them within minutes.

It was very simple.

Noelle was truly curious about people. She genuinely liked them and was determined to get to know their story, for it helped her diagnose them faster and also satiated the young doctor’s hunger for knowledge.

Patients never felt like “curious cases” or “numbers” in her presence. They were… themselves - people with hopes, dreams, fears, pet peeves and odd habits. They were human.

So little and yet so much.

Those never touched by serious illnesses often failed to understand that sickness strips you of your dignity and becomes your identity. Your true self becomes covered by this weird, annoying sticker that wouldn’t come off no matter how hard you tried to remove it.

But this young woman, despite the nature of her profession, somehow managed to notice what was hiding beneath this misleading layer.

Had all these gossipers spoken to her patients, that’s exactly what they would have heard.

"What's happening today?" The older lady asked with a flick of curiosity in her wrinkle-haloed eyes.

"What do you mean, Faye?" The young doctor sounded genuinely baffled by the out-of-the-blue question.

"Well, I am no diagnostician, but I believe I am rather observant and you radiate with happiness. Something special is happening today, am I right?"

"Yeah, you are right." Elle blushed like a teenager caught in a lie. "My boyfriend is taking me on a surprise date today, but he won’t say a word about it, so I'm super excited to find out what he planned for us. He usually isn't one for romantic gestures, so the secrecy is killing me."

"Do you think he's gonna pop the big question?" Faye’s eyes lit up with excitement.

"No, we're not there...yet." Elle faked a smile, but a tone of doubt and sadness coloured her voice. They probably never will be, those things weren’t in the cards for Ethan, as he already stressed once.

But once was enough and she didn’t dare mention the subject again.

"Well, I'm pretty sure he's got some big guns in store, I would if I had a lady like you." - a male patient lying in the bed adjacent to Elle’s patient added smiling flirtatiously.

"Jerry, you were supposed to focus on getting better, not stealing my girlfriend." They all jumped when a deep baritone echoed throughout the room, hitting present company like a wrecking ball. She must have left the door ajar or Ethan could penetrate the walls soundlessly, because no one heard him coming.

Exactly how long has he been standing there for and how much did he hear?

"Dr. Ramsey, flirting makes your blood flow faster. Isn't it the very definition of life itself?” Jerry’s tone was brisk and lively.

"Well, it definitely isn't the definition of recovery after a heart attack." Ethan used his authoritative doctor’s voice but knew this wasn't a battle he was going to win. Jerry had something he didn't: a couple more decades of life experience under his belt and even the best medical school in the country couldn’t compete with this.

"Besides, Dr. Ramsey, I don't think that the beautiful Dr. Valentine here fancies old farts like me."

"That's where you are wrong, Jerry, looks like this is exactly the type I fancy." The two women laughed, however Ethan was far from amused. "Dr. Ramsey is 10 years older than me."

"10 years? What is 10 years in these times? Nothing. When I was getting married 40 years ago, it was something. But today? Look at all them playboys with girls younger than my granddaughter. 10 years is actually a very healthy difference. Men are immature and slower with growing up emotionally. So I'd say you've caught up, Dr. Ramsey, and the two of you are emotional peers now.”

“Thank you for the fascinating lesson in human psychology, Jerry. To think I’ve wasted all this time and money on medical school and no one taught me this.”

“Dr. Ramsey, it’s because schools and useful knowledge are mutually exclusive.”

Elle and Faye were on the verge of bursting out in laughter, but managed to keep their composure and used the non-verbal communication of exchanging glances instead.

Once they made sure their patients had everything they need, Ethan and Elle wished them a good day and promised to stop by in 2 days, as the following day was their day off.

The moment the door closed behind them, Ethan crossed his arms on his chest.

"I lose you from my sight for one second and this happens. 5 more minutes with Jerry and I'd be single again."

"At least no one wants to poke your eyes out for being with me."

"And someone wants to poke yours?"

"Where do I start... nurses, who had a crush on you long before I even set foot in Edenbrook? Female interns? Anyone, who has a pair of functioning eyes and ever looked at you?"

She was adorable when she was doing this, her whole body overtaken by excitement and her hands waving. When she was talking about something really important to her she wasn't just conversing with her mouth, she was doing it with her whole body.

Suddenly, his pager painfully reminded Ethan that this was neither the place nor the time to lose himself in adoration.

"I need to go, I'm completely swamped today and I have my favourite cherry-on-top board meeting. In case I don't see you for the rest of your shift - I’ll pick you up at 7."

He was gone before she was able to form a response. Was it just her or was Dr Ramsey weirdly… nervous?

* * * * * * * *

At 7pm sharp, Ethan Ramsey curled his palm in a fist and gently knocked. The door opened in an instant, as if someone knew he'd been standing there for the past few minutes.

"Ethan! I mean Dr. Ramsey...please come in!" Sienna squeaked with nervous excitement as she let him in.

"Outside of Edenbrook Ethan is just fine, Sienna. If you don't mind me calling you by your first name, of course."

"Mm..mme? No, yes, I mean... Elle is on the balcony." She tried to hide her embarrassment and motioned towards the tall windows surrounding the living room. Some time ago, he would have been oddly proud to have such an intimidating effect on people - nowadays, more than anything, he was amused. Has he really changed so much?

The answer to his question was leaning against the railing, glass of wine in her hand. Gauzy, flowery dress enveloped her frame and tanned skin.

For Ethan, it was as clear as crystal: summer had the face and scent of Noelle Valentine.

Long before she started leaving her toothbrush in his apartment and sleeping in his old JH t-shirts, Ethan noticed that whenever he laid eyes on her, his whole body started acting in a very irrational way. His doctor’s instincts prompted him to think of all types of biological causes and chemical reactions in the brain. Then, when he sort of admitted to himself it’s not just pure science, Ethan leaned towards the forbidden fruit theory - the more he couldn’t have his drug, the more he was craving it.

But the feeling never disappeared. Whenever he wouldn’t see her for a while - be that an hour, a day, or just when she went to take a shower or make a coffee - the very moment her face came into his view again, he felt his stomach somersaulting.

Every. Single. Time.

It wasn’t any different now.

"Drinking without me?"

She almost dropped the glass when his voice stopped the train of thought in her head. But then she saw his face, the way too seldom relaxed muscles and a barely-there smile.

A perfectly tailored shirt clung to his torso marvellously. If not in medicine, he surely would have made a name for himself in the fashion industry. Fortunately for her, the idea never crossed his mind.

The warm wind blew in her face, carrying the scent of expensive cologne which overwhelmed her nostrils. She didn’t know this one, so it must have been new. But she did know that smelling it for the whole evening while staring at his handsome face will be a pure torture.

Simply put, she was a goner.

"I don't know why, but I was quite nervous. Had to summon the courage somehow.”

“As you should be. After all, it's not every day that one goes on their first date."

She looked at him as if she’d just been told that a UFO landed on the roof.

“On a what?”

"Well, I was thinking a lot lately about how we never had a first date. Nothing was ever...typical with us. I promised myself I will do my best to fix things that caused you pain or deprived you of the things you deserved. Maybe I cannot fix some immediately, but this one I can, so I will."

Her eyes, overbrimming with affection struck him like thousand lightnings. Thank god a comfortable silence fell between them - had she asked him a question, it would have been clear that right now he is nothing but a simpering moron.

With this in mind, he took his hands from behind his back, holding a small bouquet of pink gerberas.

"These are my favourites." Her face instantly illuminated at the well known sight and smell. "How did you know?”

"I had some amazing helpers."

Elle instantly turned her head left and looked inside, where grinning, Sienna was showing her the thumbs up.

"Wow, now I actually wish I'd downed the whole bottle."

"I'm glad you didn't. I want to go on a date with a woman, not her lifeless body, even though the body itself is very appealing. Shall we?”

“King of compliments…”

* * * * * * * *

"You actually look like you are having a good time, Dr Ramsey.”

"Why wouldn't I? There is alcohol, sitting under the sky definitely has its charm and the company is acceptable." She playfully swatted his arm, the gesture a quick reminder of how comfortable they felt with each other, something he constantly remembered to never take for granted.

“Although I love this, I still don’t understand why you dragged me all the way outside Boston, I’m pretty sure the rooftop bars are pretty acceptable there, too. A bit more crowded though, that’s for sure.”

“Are you complaining about the fact that we have this entire place to ourselves? I know the owner and he was indebted to me.”

“Of course he was.” Looks like the whole town is indebted to Ethan freakin’ Ramsey.

“With regards to why I brought you here… you’ll just have to wait and see.”

Gosh. She couldn’t decide whether the mysterious side of Ethan Ramsey was hot as hell or annoying as hell. But she didn’t really have time to contemplate, because her companion asked her a question.

“Why did you become a doctor?” The ocean eyes pierced her to the core and she had a feeling that even if she was the best actress in the world, there was no way she’d be able to hide something from this man.

“That’s a terrible change of subject. Also, I must have told you like a million times already.”

“No, you never told me.”

When she looked at him and really, really thought about it… she suddenly realised Ethan was right. Elle told the story so many times she sort of… assumed she told Ethan, too.

“Are you sure you want to hear it today? It’s a pretty sad story, a mood killer I’d say.”

“It’s what makes you you, so yes, I want to hear all about it - the good, the bad and the indifferent.”

“I’ll tell you, but I need to ask something first. Why now? We’ve known each other for a while and you just… I just sort of assumed this isn’t the type of conversation you’d like to hold.”

“You’ve hit the nail on the head.” Ethan’s expression was gentle, not a hint of irony in his voice. “I’ve known you for a while now, but there are still so many things about you that I don’t know. At first, I didn’t want to ask, because asking these questions meant admitting that there is something more between us. What a fail would that be, after I’ve mastered the art of denial.” He laughed, but it wasn’t a bitter or a nervous laugh, it was a genuine banter between them, as the British half of her soul liked to call it. “But you made me want to dig deeper.”

Was it the heat that made her catch her breath, or did it have nothing to do with the temperature?

“Plus, this is sort of what first dates are for, right? I’m sorry for skipping right to the more complex questions. It’s not that I don’t want to know what you were afraid of as a child, I want to know all the details… but it feels like the atmosphere calls for something…bigger.”

So she told him all about her friend, how she fell ill, how she couldn’t be saved and how the experience wreaked havoc on her whole life, tears glistening in her eyes at the mere memory of the events that shaped who she was today.

Ethan listened, his whole body tense and eyes transfixed. She was giving him one of the most fragile parts of her and he had to make sure his hands were there to catch, carry and care for this treasure.

“And that’s when I realised that if I focused on becoming the best doctor I could be, then maybe one day, I’d be that person who has an answer, who can solve a mystery and save a relationship that means the world to someone. Sometimes, people don’t realise that when a person dies, it’s not only them that’s gone. The part of someone who stays, who has to deal with the whole ‘me after you’ - that part is gone, too. So for me, in a way, this meant saving more than one life.”

For a couple of seconds he didn’t move. Then, without saying a single word and with an unreadable expression he got up and offered her a hand, which she silently accepted. He led her to the railing, where the sun was slowly sinking into the boundless waters of Quincy Bay.

His lips found the all too well known way to her forehead, placing a loving kiss on her delicate skin.

“I am so proud of you.” There was something so mesmerising in his whisper, sending a shiver down her spine.

“As a mentor or as a boyfriend?”

“Both. I want you to know that your dedication to people who rely on you is astounding and hardly present in doctors your age. Or any age, for that matter.”

“Wow, Dr Ramsey, smooth. Trying to hit on me with a recycled pick-up line used on a national TV? No wonder you didn’t have too many girlfriends.”

“No, I didn’t. But I believe everyone has a limit of luck they can get per life. And looking at you, I got a couple of lifetimes worth of luck.”

This was enough to render her speechless. She smiled and at this very moment he knew he would do anything to make her smile like this. She wrapped him around her pinky finger and suddenly his whole existence revolved around finding ways of seeing her curve these breathtaking lips as often as possible and making sure he is the reason she smiles… not crying her eyes out.

Although the other didn’t know, because none of them said it out loud, they both thought the same thing.

This feels so right.

There isn’t a hint of awkwardness in the fact that they can go from being serious or emotionally vulnerable to funny and teasing in seconds.

In one effortless movement, Ethan spun her and pressed her back against his chest. Then, he started placing a series of tender kisses along her jawline and the crook of her neck, slowly moving towards her shoulder.

Come on, just say it Ramsey. It doesn’t get any better than this.

He wrapped her palm in his and pointed them towards the sky.

“There they are - the Little Dipper and the Big Dipper.” Their intertwined fingers were jumping from one tiny flashing point to the other, as if they were playing connect the dots. “And that’s Orion’s Belt.”

“I really don’t get why at this point I’m still surprised that you’re good at everything.”

Elle was drunk on his every word, as this annoying trait of Ethan Ramsey being the know-it-all was actually one of her favourite things about him.

As for Ethan, he couldn’t help but think that life wasn’t perfect and was never going to be. But this - this moment - it was in fact perfect. Why take chances of ruining it, when so many things can go wrong?

What if she doesn't say it back?

What if she's just gonna laugh at him or tell him he had it all wrong.

What if he misinterpreted everything and she never thought about him this way?

He was terrified of being this exposed. The last person he loved so much left him without batting an eyelid and disappeared for 25 fucking years.

Maybe it was better to live in a perfect illusion than a reality in which there was even a 0.01% chance she doesn't love him back.

So they both drowned in the moment, drifted in the sea of rapture, lost in the illusion that it can all last forever.

It was her who broke the silence.

“I’m getting a bit cold, is it ok if we call it a night?”

“Right, of course.”

“Thank you for the first date, I loved it.”

Handing her his jacket (her favourite, the dark green leather one) Ethan was furious at himself.

Maybe he was broken. Maybe he will remain broken forever. Maybe that’s the way it must be.

“Do you want to spend the night at mine?” The question slipped his tongue before he was able to fully reflect on it.

“At yours? Unless you have some secret place I don’t know about, just a quick reminder - I live there too.”

“Since this was our first date, I thought it was a gentlemanly thing to ask.”

“In that case… I am afraid I have the ‘after the 3rd date’ sleepover rule, Dr Ramsey.”

* * * * * * * *

The morning came all too soon and the hot, ruthless rays of the rising sun announced that Ethan is now way past his regular wake up and get up time. He barely slept, tossing and turning, replaying every second of the evening in his head.

His hand mindlessly reached for what he hoped to be the familiar curves and softness of the body he adored so much.

But his palm hit the mattress with a loud thud. The bed was empty.

The all-too-well known feeling of hopelessness slipped into the doctor's mind with ease. What did he expect? He was acting weird the previous day. First date, what a stupid idea. She must have realised something is wrong with him and finally left.

But before he was able to fully wallow in the mud of pity, the feeling was soon replaced by an old friend Ethan haven’t heard from for a long time.

Panic.

Where was she? Is she ok? What if something happened to her and he was just sleeping like a log instead of being there to protect her. He couldn’t stand the thought of losing her… again. Something grabbed his chest in a tight grip and wouldn’t let go.

Scenes flashed before his eyes, vivid and bright. Their hands touching through the glass wall. Her hand cupping his cheek through the layer of hazmat suit.

He got out of bed at the speed of sound and started running around the apartment, but she was nowhere to be seen.

Suddenly, he noticed.

The balcony door was opened wide.

Shit.

Heart in his mouth, Ethan crossed the distance between his kitchen island and the balcony door in the blink of an eye.

Elle was just serving pancakes outside. The goddamn pancakes. The only thing he couldn’t cook. The one thing she kept teasing him about and he rolled his eyes every time she did.

God, he promised himself he will never learn how to make them, if it meant she would just tease him forever.

She was smiling as widely as ever, putting the sun and everything else in the world to shame. Ethan was still a bit shaken and his uneven breathing gave him away. Elle finally noticed his presence.

“Good morning, I was just about to—“

“I love you.”

“I love you too.”

They both froze.

The tension in the silence that had just set in was so thick you could cut it with a knife.

But the silence didn’t last long. As one man, with eyes full of disbelief, they both murmured simultaneously:

“What did you just say?”

This time, he felt obliged to break the silence.

"I...I...I mean, I…"

Damn it, get it together, idiot.

"I didn't mean to…”

Great, Ramsey, keep digging an even deeper hole for yourself, then crawl in and stay there forever.

"You didn't mean to say it?”

"Yes. No. I mean, damn it, I am making things worse, aren't I?”

She didn’t set him straight.

"The thing is, I wanted to say it yesterday. I had it all planned, I took you for a first date and I wanted to say it for the first time yesterday.”

"Why did it have to be yesterday?”

“Give me a minute.”

She just rolled her eyes, but Ethan didn’t have a chance to notice before disappearing inside. A few moments later he re-emerged, his face and torso covered by a neatly wrapped, rectangle-shaped object.

"What's this?"

"Something you should have unpacked yesterday, but then... life happened."

Elle sat down on cold tiles, her hands trembling with a mix of fear and excitement. And just like he did months ago, he took her hand in his, only this time he cupped his own cheek with her palm and placed the most tender kiss on the inside of her hand.

It was her favourite medicine, a remedy for all things wrong.

He sat beside her and nodded at the mysterious package. With impatience growing inside of her, Elle has torn the paper up.

Inside was a dark blue, framed print - the colour of it an instant reminder of her favourite set of irises.

She studied everything with intent. A circle must have been representing the earth and the irregular dots and lines must have been the stars and constellations.

"A map of the sky? That's beautiful, Ethan."

He knew immediately that although her delight was sincere, she had absolutely no clue what she was looking at and why she was looking at it.

“It's not just any map of the sky.” Ethan explained gently, hints of pride colouring his voice. “It's a map of the Boston sky from exactly a year ago. Well, a year and a day.” He smiled faintly, now a shade of sorrow in his enchanting voice.

Silence. Was she supposed to know what that meant?

“Aren’t you full of mysteries today? Ok, you need to throw me a lifebelt here. What's so special about the sky from a year and a day ago?”

“For the world? Probably not too much. For me? Everything.”

At this stage of their relationship, she knew a lot about Ethan’s behaviours, triggers, his body language. And not just a relationship as a couple, but also everything that came before Ethan became someone she was running through life with (the life of two doctors in one of the busiest and most prestigious hospitals was certainly not a walk in the park).

But it still fascinated her how his demeanour changed whenever the subject was serious, whenever he was talking about something that truly mattered to him. It was as if he’d stripped down of all the layers and let her look into his bare soul. These rare moments of vulnerable intimacy meant more to her than any night of passion they ever shared.

Her eyes turned to him in pledge, because as much as she wanted to, Dr Valentine still couldn’t fully comprehend the scene unraveling in front of her.

“Read the description below the map.”

Dear God, did she actually hear shyness in his voice?

She skimmed through the image again, and there it was, right at the bottom. Elle was so focused on trying to decipher the meaning of the image that she didn’t notice the words below.

The words which explained everything.

I WILL NEVER FORGET THE DAY

THAT MADE ME REALISE

YOU ARE THE SKY

EVERYTHING ELSE IS JUST THE WEATHER

Her emerald eyes brimmed with hot tears as the meaning dawned upon her. Words were very unnecessary, but now that he summoned the courage to speak, there was still a lot he wanted to put into words. He gently took the frame from her hands and leaned it securely against the wall.

Taking her palms into his, he placed delicate kisses on her knuckles, his lips tracing the shape of these two tiny hands, which held all of him. Everything he had, everything he was and was going to be, he placed in those two fragile palms, with an unspoken hope that they will hold him and catch him if he falls.

“Look at me.” The words were pulsing with care and affection, even though his voice coloured them in serious and desperate shades.

“One year ago… and a day from today…” He smiled and she felt the warmth spilling inside of her. The power he had over her was beyond the limits of understanding.

Little did she know that the object of her affection was lost in the same thought.

“I was standing exactly where we stand right now. It was dark and the view wasn’t that spectacular.” He freed one of his hands, but only to make contact with her cheek to caress it slowly. In this moment, he had to touch her any way that he could. With his hands. With his eyes. With his soul.

“But I always found comfort in staring at the sky. When I was at med school, I had countless moments of doubt, I wanted to quit more times than I can count. So I used to go to a secluded place at night and stare at the sky. It made me realise how, in one respect, I am just a grain of sand in the universe and how little my problems are. Funnily enough, this thought actually brought me a sense of comfort. If I am as little as I think I am, then what is the harm in being brave and taking chances? A wise man once said… There are some things that are worth any risk.”

She giggled through the tears, the sweet sound soothing his shattered nerves.

“I was standing right here and I never felt more miserable in my life. And I couldn’t understand why, for God’s sake. I was thriving at work. I had everything figured out and planned. I was pushing you to be the best you could be and I watched you turn into someone who would one day be far greater than me. But you looked so sad, so… broken. You already know I can’t just gloss over you feeling down. The sadder you were, the more miserable I felt. One evening, I was having a glass of scotch and I remembered some tiny exchange we’ve had earlier in the day, literally a chit chat. No idea what it was about. But I remembered your smile and your laugh. Every tiniest move of your muscles, your eyes, how your hair set around your face. It made me happy. Even if it was just for 5 minutes, knowing that you are happy in that very moment filled my chest with lightness. That’s when I realised I want to be the person who makes you feel this way.”

She blinked the first time in a while, as if she was afraid to make the tiniest movement, afraid it will all disappear and turn out to be a dream. Giant teardrops rolled down her angelic face, trailing the path of joy.

“Noelle Sky Valentine, I love you. I have loved you for a long time but I was too stubborn to let myself give in. And that, as you already know, will always be one of my biggest regrets.”

“Ethan, I don’t… I’m so sorry, I just don’t know what to say.” Her voice was saturated with emotions.

“I’d be lying if I said this wasn’t the reaction I was hoping for.“

“I love you too, Ethan Jonah Ramsey. You are by far the most complicated and stubborn person I have ever met. You are… everything I never knew I looked for in another human being.”

Once he heard her say it back, he couldn't get enough of it and a lifetime didn't feel like enough to tell her he loves her, as many times as he wished to.

“But I do have to mention this, Dr Ramsey… from the first date to a love confession in less than 24 hours? I’m sorry, I think this is moving too fast.”

“I’ll show you too fast…but I’m afraid we need to get inside, I don’t want the whole world and its wife to see how I teach you a thing or two.”

Ethan scooped her in his arms and carried her inside, despite her mock protests. He smiled and corrected himself.

He wanted for the whole world to see.

Because the whole world was right there.

In his arms.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

If you’ve gotten this far, I need you to know you are absolutely amazing 💗

Tag 🏷 list: @jamespotterthefirst @romewritingshop @romereadingshop @genevievemd @starrystarrytrouble @terrm9 @mrs-ramsey @maurine07 @gryffindordaughterofathena @mercury84choices @lovingramsey @qrkowna @openheartfanfics @choicesficwriterscreations @lisha1valecha @oldminniemcg @iemcpbchoices @tsrookie @fayeswiftie @levinsdowneyy @brooks-eden @poudredevie @queencarb @caseyvalentineramsey @lucy-268 @tenaciousdeputydreamfriend @alwaysmychoices-sideblog @whippedforethanfreakingramsey @schnitzelbutterfingers @the-pale-goddess @lem-20 @wingedhairstylemusicweasel @liaromancewriter @ohchoices @archxxronrookie

#ethan ramsey x mc #ethan x mc #dr ethan ramsey #play choices #open heart #open heart fic #cfwc silly love stories #choices fic writers creations #fics of the week #ethan ramsey

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theatrelove3000 · 4 years

Text

Little Itty Bitty Fingers

Hello! I need a baby fix and with the world the way it is right now, this is as close as I am gonna get! Suffer with me and let me destroy your ovaries! @just-the-hiddles, @myraiswack

Background: Noelle and Loki were “Bound” by a witch in Alfheim after a battle they fought in. This means that the witch split each of their souls in half and one half switched places. Noelle has half of Loki’s soul and vice versa. They can feel each other's emotions and hear each other's thoughts. Noelle is also Half Asgardian, half Midgardian. Her father is Tyr and her mother is of Midgard. Loki enchanted her wedding ring so that she can be immortal with him.

Summary: Loki meets more of Noelle’s family when they go over to Nonna’s for dinner

Warnings: Fluff, babies, cuteness, sweetness, other synonyms I am too tired to think of. Implied smut if you squint.

Little Itty Bitty Fingers

Noelle PoV:

"Are you almost ready, love?" Loki asks me as he walks into the bedroom. I nod at him and I reach for the zipper of my new emerald green dress. Loki beats me to it. He zips me up before wrapping his arms around my waist and resting his chin on my shoulder, looking at our reflection in the mirror.

Even to me, I can see how good we look together. He has finally taken to more casual Midgardian attire instead of his all black suit. I love that suit but he needn't wear it everyday. Today he wears a dark pair of jeans, that hug his legs beautifully, and a deep green t-shirt with his leather jacket. My cotton dress is long sleeved and stops at the middle of my thighs.

"This is a very soft dress." He whispers, turning his head to kiss the spot behind my ear.

I hum in agreement. "Excellent job picking it out, my King." He growls slightly, nibbling on the same spot. He takes a deep breath before straightening and taking my hand.

"Are you ready now?" He asks again. I laugh a bit.

"What's the rush, Loki? We have time?"

He crosses his arms and scowls at me teasingly, "Perhaps I just miss your grandmother and wish to see her."

I laugh again. "You miss her cooking is what this is."

His face takes on a slightly pinker shade as he realizes that I see right through him. "It's not my fault she makes the best food in all the nine realms! Let's go." He pulls me against his chest and teleports us to Nonna's front door. I roll my eyes at him. He smirks, opening the door for me.

Not three steps into the kitchen and Nonna has her hands on my face. "AH! My little bambina! Give Nonna a kiss!" And proceeds to plant kisses all over my face.

Loki chuckles but regrets doing so when she turns her attention to him. He's too tall for her to grab his face like she can with me so she grabs his ear, pushes him into a chair, and pinches his cheeks. She chastises him in Italian about being so tall, before kissing his face too.

"How are you doing, marito? You take care of my bambina?"

"Yes ma'am. Always." He responds, looking to me for help. I just grin and wave before running away to the living room.

I had expected it to be empty, or at least only Nonno asleep in his chair. I was wrong.

"Alaina?!" I ask.

My cousin turns her head to face me and grins widely. "Noelle!" She squeals quietly. She stands up and turns around to hug me when I spot the reason for her hushed tone.

She has a baby swaddled in a little white blanket held to her chest. I look at her in shock, giving her a side hug as to not wake the little one.

"Who is this?" I ask in a hushed voice.

"This is Ella! She's my daughter."

I raise an eyebrow and smile at her. "When did you have a baby?"

She laughs, a quick exhale through her nose. "About two months ago. She was a little early but we both made it out fine."

"I'm so glad! Gods, I haven't seen you in years, Ali. You have to catch me up." I brush my fingers along Ella's blanket. Ali smiles at me and hands her over.

I take the baby gently, cradling her to me. It's been so long since I've held a baby this young. When I look back up at my cousin, her mouth has fallen open. She points to my wedding ring.

I smile and gesture to the couch. We both sit down and start to catch each other up. She tells me about how she met Ella's father and how he is a deployed Marine. She had the baby alone but was able to video call her fiancè so he could see his daughter. She talks about how much help Nonna has been when it comes to watching Ella while Ali is at work and feeding her dinner afterwards.

"Enough about me, though! You! You are married now? Or engaged at the very least?" Alaina asks, gesturing to my ring. I smile and look down at it over the baby.

"Married, yes. It's been about 9 months now, I think."

"Wow, Congratulations! Why wasn't I invited, you brat?" She smacks my arm lightly.

"I didn't even know I was getting married until an hour before it happened. Nonna was just as upset as you are." I laugh.

"You supposed to tell your Nonna you getting married, bambina. Is okay, I still love you." Nonna walks up behind me and kisses my cheeks again.

"I still love you, too." Loki's baritone voice rings in my ear as he leans over to press a kiss to my temple. I jump slightly, not really knowing he was there. Nonna takes the baby from me and sings an Italian lullaby to her.

I stand up and reach my hand out to Loki. He takes it and I pull him to stand next to me in front of Ali.

"Alaina Marie, this is my husband, Loki Friggason. Loki, this is my cousin Alaina."

Ali sticks her hand out to shake Loki's. He takes it and kisses her hand gently, "Lovely to make your acquaintance, Alaina."

My cousin blushes bright red and laughs a bit, "Please. Everyone calls me Ali. It's very nice to meet you, too." She drops his hand and looks at me. "Babe, you got a real gentleman. Where on Earth did you find him?"

Loki snickers but hides it with a cough. I pinch the back of his hand that still holds mine. "No idea." I respond. I sit back down on the couch and drag Loki down with me. He settles himself before pulling me so that I sit sideways on the couch with my back pressed into his side.

I continue to talk to Ali and after a while, Loki cuts in. "You two seem to have a closer relationship than most cousins. Is there a reason for that?"

I nod, "We were basically raised as sisters. My mom always worked so I would spend the summer with her and her brothers. How are they, by the way?"

"Great! James just got married a few months back and Casey is starting his freshman year of college. He's in Yale! Mom is so proud of him. We all are."

Later on, after Ella wakes up, Nonna and I go into the kitchen to start making dinner, leaving Loki and Ali in the living room to talk with Nonno. Not too long after that, Ali comes in and starts helping us make the pasta, the baby nowhere in sight.

"Where is Ella? Where did you leave my nuova bambina?" Nonna pokes Ali as she kneads the dough.

"She started crying and Loki offered to help, so I handed her off to him. She quieted really quickly, actually." She cocks her head thoughtfully, "You know, come to think of it, I don't think she has ever stopped crying for anyone as fast as she did for him."

I smirk a bit. "He has a super power when it comes to crying children. We live in a place where everyone is basically family. My friend Tony has a daughter named Morgan and she just adores her Uncle Loki. Her older brother does too, but he is a teenager."

"That's nice. He will be a good father."

"Bambina, you put the panettone in the oven then go talk to your Nonno."

"Yes, ma'am." I respond and do as I'm told. As I walk into the living room, looking for Loki. I smile when I find him.

He's sitting in Nonna's armchair with the baby held to his chest. He coos at her, rocking back and forth.

I feel my eyes fill with tears at the sight. He has always been good with Morgan and kids we meet on the job but I've never seen him with a baby this young. It's a little jarring.

I start imagining what he would look like with his own baby in his arms. With my baby.

I know he can hear what I'm thinking because he looks up and smiles softly at me before turning his attention back to Ella. He starts singing to her in old norse. The one his mother sang to him.

The man is feeding my fantasies.

My cousin walks up to me and hugs my shoulders before going to retrieve her daughter from my husband.

"Could... could I hold her for a bit longer? It's been a very very long time since I've held a child this young." Ali smiles and nods, telling him she will have to take her to feed her in a few minutes. He agrees and turns his attention back to Ella as her mother walks away.

In a spur of the moment decision, I fish my phone out of the pocket of my dress (Loki always finds the dresses with pockets) and snap a picture of the sight before me.

I walk over and sit on the floor at Loki's feet, leaning my head on his knee. "You do know that you have to share her with the rest of us." I nudge his leg. He glares at me teasingly before his face softens to something I only see occasionally. It's not an emotion I know how to describe but I see it when we find children on a mission. The children we help care for.

"I know. I've always liked holding babies. I haven't done so in the last hundred years but it feels just as I remember it. Although, I've come to realize that Midgardian infants are quite a bit smaller than Asgardian infants."

"Yes, well, the average height of the Æsir is about 6 feet and an average Midgardian is somewhere around five foot six. You are all just super tall."

"So, what you are telling me is you are tiny even in the place you grew up? How fun! All the jokes I can now make without belittling the rest of mankind!" He chuckles.

I raise up onto my knees and flick him. He can't stop me because of the baby cradled to his chest. “Five foot three is still tall enough to put you on your ass. And do not deny it because we have proven it.” He glares at me and I kiss the top of his head as I stand up. "She has you wrapped around her little Itty bitty fingers, doesn't she?" I whisper.

"I will never say."

I smile and move the blanket Ella is wrapped in out of her face a bit. "Something tells me she has that effect on everyone."

"She does." Ali mutters. "I really do have to take her. You can have her back after dinner if you'd like. God knows I need a break after the long nights." She laughs, taking her baby from Loki.

"Understandable. Babies like to wake Momma." I kiss my cousin's cheek. Taking his hand, I drag Loki to his feet and lead him to the kitchen to help Nonna finish dinner while Ella gets hers. Nonno follows us to give the pair some privacy. He sits at the table and bickers with Nonna as Loki and I plate the food.

During dinner, the four of us play pass the baby while Ali eats her dinner. She eventually lands back with Loki, who is more than happy to talk to and entertain her while he finishes his own food.

After we finish eating, I help Nonna clean up the dishes while Nonno looks for cookies and Loki and Ali talk about Ella, if she wants more kids, when her father is coming home, if he wants more kids, and the list goes on.

"She's asleep again? Dude, teach me your magical ways! She always fusses when I try to put her to sleep."

"I've always been good at putting babies to sleep. Well, infants and Noelle, but she's a different story all together." I gasp dramatically and turn around to smack his shoulder as he laughs.

Ali smiles at us. "You are good together. I'm happy for you."

I grin at her, "Thank you, Alaina Marie."

"You are very welcome, Noelle Elizabeth."

We leave not long after we finish the dishes. With a large paper bag full of food in tow, I kiss my grandparents and cousin goodbye as Loki, reluctantly, hands back little Ella, who he has taken to calling 'Smár Kærr'. Little Dear.

As we walk back to the tower, I lace my fingers through his. "You loved her."

He smiles and raises our hands to his lips, pressing a kiss to my fingers. "I do indeed. I miss children that age. But it's impossible with our line of work. Pepper stays home with Morgan and she stays with us when needed but she is nearly four years old. Babies need constant attention that we don't have time to give." He keeps his eyes glued to the sidewalk.

"We have a long, long time. We won't always be Avengers. We can wait until we feel we can leave the saving of the world to the others."

"I know. And in the meantime, I can borrow Ella. I already discussed this with Alaina."

I laugh, "Of course you did."

He smiles and pushes me towards the wall of the nearest building to kiss me. I wrap my arms around his neck as he moves his lips to my neck, muttering proclamations of love against my skin.

"I love you, too." I whisper back.

~~~~~~~~~~

A/N: Sorry the ending is a little sucky, I had no idea how I wanted to end it. Other than that, my ovaries are just a pile of debris even though I wrote it. It’s fine, I’m fine, everything’s fine!

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black-clover-incorrect-quotes · 4 years

Note

Attack on Titans, Seven Deadly Sins (fandom) - RillCharmy, GaucheGrey (ship) - Patri, Nero (characters)

Answer to this ask game.

001 | Send me a fandom and I will tell you my:

Attack on Titan

Favorite character: Annie.

Least Favorite character: Levi >:/

5 Favorite ships (canon or non-canon): SashaxConnie, AnnieXBertholdt. I don’t think I can get to 5 ships sorry! I was never into AoT for the ships.

Character I find most attractive: Jean maybe? The artstyle doesn’t do any character any favours LOL

Character I would marry: Armin !! He’s so cute

Character I would be best friends with: Sasha. She seems very fun to be around.

a random thought: It was my very first anime (if you don’t count Naruto, that I wacthed since I was a toddler lol). so I’m very attached to AoT, but I gave up reading the manga roughly an year ago because I didn’t like the story anymore. I’m looking forward to the manga to be completed so I can binge read it.

An unpopular opinion:I have some opinions on Ereri, but there’s a question for that so I think the new arc is BS. It was supposed to be humans vs titans, not humans vs other humans.

My Canon OTP: None sadly.

My Non-canon OTP: AnniexBertholdt.

Most Badass Character: MIkasa?

Most Epic Villain: Gotta say Zeke, even though I don’t know him well as a character

Pairing I am not a fan of: Ereri.There got to be a 20 year age gap....I don’t know what everyone is on, probably crack. Why is it even the most popular ship?

Character I feel the writers screwed up (in one way or another): Annie!!! When i stopped reading, she was still in a coma. I heard she came back lately but come on, it’s been so long.

Favourite Friendship: The Scouting Legion veterans.

Character I most identify with: Armin. Minus the brains.

Character I wish I could be: I wouldn’t wish to be fighting Titans at all. Thanks but no. Some dude in the inner walls.

Seven Deadly Sins

Favorite character: Escanor or Arthurt, can’t pick.

Least Favorite character: Meliodas.

5 Favorite ships (canon or non-canon): DianexKIng, MargaretxGilthunder, DerierixMoonspeet for some reason. Lowkey ship Escanor and Merlin but only because I wanted him to be happy lol

Character I find most attractive: Ban? I dunno. I don’t think there’s anyone particulary attractive in SDS

Character I would marry: King.

Character I would be best friends with: I don’t know if we’d get along, but I’d want to befriend Arthur given the chance.

a random thought: After the Demon King was defeated, the manga should have ended. I don’t get why they did that mini-arc on Merlin resurrecting Arthur butchering Merlin’s character like that lol

An unpopular opinion: I feel like the series has a lot of pedo undertones, but you can’t really call them out because “Elaine is an adult, she just looks like a kid” “Meliodas knowing Elizabeth since she was a baby is cute because soulmates” “Meliodas in hundreds of years old, he just looks young” and so on. They just try to justify drawing children in romantic situations.

My Canon OTP: DianexKing

My Non-canon OTP: None really.

Most Badass Character: Ban. I mean, he couldn’t die.

Most Epic Villain: I like Herickson the best out of all the villains.

Pairing I am not a fan of: Banx Elaine. Also what they tried to pull with Gowther and Elizabeth’s aunt (I think?).

Character I feel the writers screwed up (in one way or another): Escanor. He really didn’t have to be the only one to die.

Favourite Friendship: Not really a friendship but a platonic relationship, Merlin and Arthur. Too bad she apparenlty grew him as a host for chaos, but I don’t recognize that as canon so LOL

Character I most identify with: KIng. Leave me alone to sleep all day and I’m happy. Slooooooth.

Character I wish I could be: They are all very happy in the end. Meliodas or Elizabeth, since they have everything figured out and had their happy ever after.

Send me a ship and I will tell you:

RillCharmy

When I started shipping them: I never considered it untill RIll shipped himself with Charmy, so it was pretty recently.

My thoughts: I honestly don’t think they have a future. RIll is clealy in love with an idea more than Charmy herself, and she has eyes only for Yuno. I won’t cry if they don’t become canon, but shipping is free isn’t it?

What makes me happy about them: Moslty, all the possibilities. Tabata could write a lot of things with them.

What makes me sad about them: As I said, that I don’t think they’ll ever become canon.

Things done in fanfic that annoys me: I don’t read fanfics so i don’t know

Things I look for in fanfic: :(

My wishlist: Please Tabata just develop their relationship some more. I don’t care how.

Who I’d be comfortable them ending up with, if not each other: Not really a big fan of CharmyxYuno, but that would be my first choice. As for Rill, I’m not sure. A nice artistic girl, maybe.

My happily ever after for them: As sad as it would be to see Charmy leave the BB, she could join his squad.

GaucheGray

When I started shipping them: I didn’t care for this ship much until some of the lastest chapters, so it’s a fairly new ship for me.

My thoughts: Unlike RIllCharmy I think Tabata wants to make them endgame (if he’s going to have canon ships in the end). At the beggining I thought it was lazy, because they were held together by nothing but getting caught up in the same shit everytime, but I like that he’s actually building some backstory and interactions for them.

What makes me happy about them: I think they both could be very beneficial to the other.

What makes me sad about them: Nothing really? That’s a pretty fluff and light hearted ship.

Things done in fanfic that annoys me: N/A

Things I look for in fanfic: N/A

My wishlist: I’m waiting and seeing where Tabata is going with them. For now, to see them again in the manga would be nice.

Who I’d be comfortable them ending up with, if not each other: I don’t ship them with anyone else. I guess I wouldn’t mind any ship for them to be endgame.

My happily ever after for them: I can’t picture anything but them staying in the BB. They wouldn’t be the most affectionate couple with Gray being so shy and Gauche being Gauche, but they’d probably go on jobs together and whatnot.

Give me a character & I will tell you:

Patry

How I feel about this character: I don’t like him. I’m sorry, I feel bad for his hardships and all but he was a moron and his actions can’t be excused so easily.

Any/all the people I ship romantically with this character: No one. He didn’t have many chance to have romantic interactions I suppose? I usually don’t ship villains, and he didn’t appear much outside his role as antagonist. I’ll just wait and see for possible ships in the future.

My favorite non-romantic relationship for this character: Licht. .

My unpopular opinion about this character: As I said, I don’t think everyone -both in universe and in the fandom - should be so quick at excusing and forgiving him. The fact that he isn’t in a jail is nuts.

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon: I’d say that I wanted him to be held accountable for what he’s done, but that’d be rendundant at this point so I wish he could joins the Golden Dawn, because he was basically the one pickying each and every memeber, he’s the captain as much as WIlliam.

Favorite friendship for this character: WIlliam.

My crossover ship:.......I don’t know sorry

Nero

How I feel about this character: Oh boy. Firstly, I didn’t think much of her, she was just the animal mascot. Then, I kinda hated her. It was not a good plot twist, and the fact that she was there fighting the last boss rather than Noelle or characters that were in BC since the beginning irked me. With time, she grew on me. Now I like her quite a bit.

Any/all the people I ship romantically with this character: Only the First Wizard King. I moslty liker her because of this ship eheh

My favorite non-romantic relationship for this character: Asta

My unpopular opinion about this character:As I said, I think Nero turning into a woman was kind of a sloppy and lazy plot twist. It was not foreshadowed or anything. I like Secre now, but I don’t understand why Tabata went that direction with her, and why he didn’t give us some hints.

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon: I wish she got more time with Lumiere.

Favorite friendship for this character: Gotta say Asta again...man, this girl should interact with more people.

My crossover ship: I duuuuno.

#thanks for the ask #ask #ask game #long post

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gryffindorcls · 5 years

Text

Please Tell Me I’m Awake Right Now

(Part 5)

For Marinette, being invited onto the set of a Gabriel photo shoot was a dream come true. It was inspiring. While she waited for Adrien to finish with the photographer, she decided to draw in her sketchbook.

Designing allowed her to enter her own private bubble. The rest of the world melted away as she concentrated on a sketch of an evening gown. Her pencil moved hurriedly against the paper in an attempt to document her idea before it was lost.

“Wow,” an unknown voice said causing Marinette to jump, “that looks exquisite. May I have a closer look?”

Marinette looked up to see a smiling woman with curly brown hair and kind eyes.

“I...uh,” Marinette stumbled over her words, “sure.”

She cautiously handed her sketchbook to the woman who studied her design with what appeared to be a trained eye.

The woman pointed to the skirt on Marinette’s sketch, “Is the embroidery on this section on an overlay?”

Marinette nodded, “Yes, ma’am it is. I was also thinking of adding some embellishment to the neckline, but I wasn’t sure. The more I think about it, the more it seems like too much.”

“Good eye,” the woman complimented, “You should definitely go with your gut. I think there can be elegance in simplicity.”

“You’re right,” Marinette nodded in agreement, “Thank you for the advice.”

The woman’s smile grew. “You are very welcome, mademoiselle. Anyway, my name is Noelle. What’s your name?”

“I’m Marinette,” she said confidently, “Marinette Dupain-Cheng.”

“It’s nice to meet you, Marinette. May I ask what brings you to today’s photo shoot?”

“Uhm...well, that would be Adrien.”

“Ahhh...so you’re the girl all the interns were talking about. They told me that Adrien had a friend on set today, but they didn’t tell me that you were so pretty...and talented for that matter.”

“Yeah, isn’t she amazing,” a third voice entered the conversation.

Marinette turned to see Adrien standing behind her. She blushed as he situated himself next to her. He snaked his arm around her shoulders, and she leaned into him.

“Good day, Adrien,” Noelle greeted him cheerfully, “I was just having a conversation with Marinette, and she was kind enough to show me some of her designs. Can we expect to see her back in the future?”

Adrien looked down at Marinette. “I hope so. Only if she wants to come, that is.”

Marinette modded enthusiastically. “Can I really?”

“I’ll have to ask, but I would love having you here,” he responded.

“That would be amazing...but, Adrien, I don’t want to make things difficult for you and your father,” Marinette said softly.

Adrien took her hands in his. “Princess, you know I would do anything for you. Having you here would be awesome. I’ll ask my father. Don’t worry about him.”

“It’s not your father I’m worried about.” She gently squeezed his hands.

Marinette knew that Adrien’s home life wasn’t the best. It was difficult for her to fathom how a man who has so much could be so cold towards his only son. It wasn’t as if Adrien was a difficult child. No, he was polite and obedient. After learning that her partner was none other than the Adrien Agreste, Chat Noir’s outrageous personality definitely made more sense in her mind. No one should have to live their lives without being able to speak their mind...especially someone like Adrien.

“Oh, you two are precious!” exclaimed Noelle.

They had forgotten that she was there. Marinette blushed, and Adrien scratched the back of his neck.

“Oh, kids. It’s fine. Enjoy your young love. Besides, it would be great to see you back again one day Mademoiselle Marinette. If you do return, bring more of your sketches. I would love to see them,” she turned to Adrien and continued, “I’ll put in a good word with your father. I enjoyed seeing you happy today. It’s been a long time since I’ve seen you smile like that.”

“Thank you, Noelle!” Adrien smiled brightly.

“Anytime, young Monsieur Agreste.” Noelle turned to walk away. “Have fun, little lovebirds! See you later!”

Adrien and Marinette waved as Noelle disappeared into the crowd of people cleaning up after the photo shoot.

“Wow, Marinette,” Adrien sounded excited, “You really impressed her. I told you that you were amazing. Noelle even wants to see more of your designs!”

“Yeah,” Marinette nodded, “She was really nice.”

“Wait...do you know who that is?” Adrien asked.

“Uhm...not really. She said she was talking to some of the interns behind the scenes.”

“Noelle is one of the designers who works for my dad, but a few years ago she was put in charge of Gabriel’s internship program for university students. She’s their mentor.”

Marinette’s mind went blank. She tried to recall every interaction that she had with Noelle in the past thirty minutes and started to panic.

“Ohmygosh!” she exclaimed pulling on her pigtails, “I had NO IDEA! I hope I made a good impression!”

Adrien chuckled and pulled her into a hug. “You made a wonderful impression, Princess. How could you not?”

“Adrien!” Marinette blushed and nestled her head under his chin. He squeezed her tighter. “You are the most amazing and talented person I know.”

“Thanks, kitty,”

“It’s the truth.”

“Still, thank you.”

Adrien nodded and released Marinette. He then took her hand, bowed low, and kissed her knuckles.

“Now, my lady,” he said with his signature Chat Noir smirk, “I believe I was purrr-omised a date. Would be so kind as to join this poor, humble cat for a ride in his chariot?”

Marinette giggled and looped her arm around his. “My sweet prince, I am ready for whatever you have planned. Lead the way!”

They walked through the slowly disappearing set with their arms linked together. Marinette was enjoying his closeness. Adrien radiated warmth, and she soaked it in. She was so unbelievably in love with this boy that it made her dizzy.

Marinette soon became lost in her lovesick thoughts, and she stumbled over a crack in the sidewalk. Adrien’s strong arm kept her upright, and they continued walking. Marinette suddenly realized just how safe her new boyfriend made her feel. He had proven time and time again that he would always be there to support her--literally and figuratively.

“Adrien?” she questioned softly.

“Yes, Princess,” he responded, eyes filled with adoration.

“Thank you.”

“Princess, it’s no big deal. Did you really think I was going to let you fall?”

“No...I’m not thanking you for that. Well...I mean...thank you for not letting me fall on my face. I’m actually thanking you because you’ve always been there to support me...especially as Chat. There have been countless times that you put yourself in harm’s way to keep me safe. Thank you.”

“My lady, Paris needs you. I need you. I’ve lost too many people in my life, and losing you...well, I just wouldn’t be able to live with myself if something happened to you.”

This made Marinette frown. She thought back to all the times Chat had risked himself for her. She remembered the instances he had thrown himself in front of her or done something reckless. There had been times in which she truly thought she had lost him. Were it not for her miraculous magic, he would be gone.

“Kitty, I need you, too,” she said while tightening her grip on his arm, “You mean everything to me. I can’t lose you now that I have you. Please promise me that you’ll be more careful.”

Adrien took a deep breath. “My lady, if I had to make the choice between you or me, I would always choose you. However, I will try to jump in harm’s way only when necessary if it would make you feel better.”

“It would.”

“I also wouldn’t mind sticking around for a while. My life is suddenly a million times better, and I really don’t want to do anything to mess this up. I would definitely like to enjoy spending time with the most beautiful, intelligent, and creative human being in the universe.”

Adrien finished by placing a loving kiss on the side of Marinette’s head. Butterflies exploded in her stomach and she emitted a tiny squeak.

“I know I keep saying this, but do you even realize how adorable you are?” Adrien said, his voice dripping with admiration.

Marinette nudged his shoulder with her own. “You make it sound so one-sided, Chaton. It seems like you think that you’re the only one benefiting from this relationship.”

“I wouldn’t say that, but I definitely do consider myself the luckiest cat in the world. I’m still trying to figure out how I earned the love of someone as incredible as you.”

“You showed me the capacity of your heart. Honestly, it was your inner beauty that struck me to my core. The fact that you are devastatingly handsome is an added bonus.”

“Princess, you flatter me.”

“Adrien, I literally couldn’t speak coherent sentences around you until a few weeks ago. If anything I am the main beneficiary of this relationship. The amount of love you show me makes my brain want to melt.”

“OHMYGOD,” a small, whiny voice groaned, “Baseball cap kid was right. You two are insufferable!”

Plagg zipped onto Adrien’s shoulder while Tikki phased through Marinette’s purse in a huff. The red Kwami glared at her counterpart.

“PLAGG!” she scolded, “You stop that right now. Leave them alone. They are young and in love. They. Just. Started. Dating.”

“But, sugar cube,” he complained, “they’re all mushy, and I know this isn’t just a phase. My kid is one lovesick kitten. He’s so romantic--it’s sickening.”

“So what? It’s their relationship. Besides, I know you secretly love it.” Tikki rebutted.

Plagg groaned again, and Tikki grabbed him.

“Sugar cube!” he complained.

“Be quiet, Plagg!” Tikki then turned to the now silent couple, “Sorry about that, you two.”

Tikki dragged Plagg into Marinette’s purse. An angry growl emitted from the bag.

“It’s so small in here!” Plagg grumbled.

“QUIET!” Tikki hushed.

The noises and movement in the purse eventually ceased, and both teens turned to look at each other. Adrien was the first to laugh, and Marinette started shortly after. The duo laughed until they cried. The laughter made her stomach begin to hurt.

When Marinette finally calmed down, she nuzzled her head into the side of Adrien’s neck. He returned her affection with a contented sigh.

“We do not have a normal relationship,” she stated plainly.

“Would you really want to have it any other way?” Adrien mused.

“No, I love us,” she smiled.

“Us,” he said reverently, “I’m so happy there’s an us. I still can’t believe it.”

“Well, you better believe it, kitty, because you are my boyfriend, and we are currently on our first date.”

“Oh, my love..this is just the walk to the car. I fully intend to sweep you off your feet before the day is over.”

“Who says you haven’t already?”

“Wanna bet?”

Adrien swiftly removed his arm from hers, placed it on the small of her back, and used his other arm to scoop her up. She squealed with delight as he carried her the remaining distance to the car.

“See, I told you that I still needed to sweep you off your feet,” Adrien teased.

“You seem to have short-term memory loss, kitty. You picked me up like this last night, too. Remember?” she laughed.

“Ahhh, but today is not yesterday, and you deserve to be romanced each day.”

“You’re too much.”

“But you love it.”

“I do.”

“And you love me.”

“I really do.”

The look Adrien gave Marinette conveyed nothing but pure love and adoration. It was the kind of look she had seen her parents give each other. She always wanted a love as good and pure as theirs, and she had found it. She knew that Adrien was going to be her forever and that they would love one another more with each passing day.

“Ahem,” a voice said ending their moment.

Adrien instinctively held Marinette tighter as they both looked up to see an amused Nathalie standing next to the car. The assistant looked like she was trying to stifle a laugh.

“Hello, Nathalie.” Adrien gracefully lowered Marinette to the ground and stood up straight.

“Hello, Adrien,” Nathalie turned to Marinette, “Good afternoon to you, as well.”

“Hello, ma’am,” she said doing her best to look the woman in the eyes.

“Adrien, please remember to have your driver take you to each destination today. You are expected to be home at 7 o’clock tonight. Your father wants you to be well rested for the gala tomorrow.”

“Yes, Nathalie,” Adrien said while taking Marinette’s hand and leading her towards the vehicle.

Nathalie began again. “And Adrien...”

He stopped in his tracks. “Yes?”

“You may want to have a conversation with your father tonight about some of the more recent developments in your life.”

“Right, could you please ask father if it’s okay to speak with him when I get home?”

“I will make sure he is available.”

“Thank you, Nathalie.”

A small, genuine smile spread across Nathalie’s face as she looked at the young couple.

“Have fun, Adrien.” Before he could respond, she promptly turned on her heel and walked in the opposite direction.

“I guess I’ll be talking to father tonight,” Adrien stated without emotion.

“Do you want me to come with you to talk to him?” Marinette asked.

“No, let me deal with him.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah. I actually have this strange and unfamiliar feeling that everything will work out.”

“Maybe my luck is finally rubbing off on you.”

Adrien simply smiled in response. Marinette moved closer to him and laced her fingers around the back of his neck. She tousled the ends of his blond locks, and he shut his eyes. He slowly closed the remaining gap between them, and she followed in suit. They shared a chaste kiss that left them both with love-struck expressions.

In a sudden motion, he pulled away from Marinette. “Enough about my dad. Today is about us.”

“Sounds good to me, kitty,” she giggled.

He opened the car door and pulled out a bouquet of a dozen red roses. “My lady, these are for you.”

“Oh, they’re beautiful!” she exclaimed, taking the flowers.

“Not as beautiful as you,” he purred.

Marinette blushed, and Adrien took her free hand.

Adrien bowed and gestured towards the vehicle. “Our chariot awaits.”

He helped her into the car, closed her door, and got in on the other side. Once they were in the backseat, they laced their fingers together.

For Marinette, this really was a dream come true. All of it--the photo shoot, the fashion, her prince charming. She was soaring, and she didn’t intend to come back down to Earth any time soon.

<—Previous Next—>

AO3

Fanfiction.net

#Please Tell Me I'm Awake Right Now #miraculous #miraculous ladybug #miraculous ladybug fic #ml fic #fanfiction #marinette dupain cheng #adrien agreste #adrien x marinette #adrienette #lovesquare #part 5 #ao3 #ao3 fanfic

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forallyourikemensengokuneeds · 5 years

Text

Lessons Learned ch 11

As promised I wrote this up this morning in between the teens and tween leaving and the horrible task of waking up the boy child.

Noelle and Mitsuhide fell into a comfortable routine over the next few weeks as they cleared out a room in his house to use for the base of the new business. Noelle received her diaploma on the third week after the hellish week of finals. She was now working full time as his TA while she was ordering things and getting the paperwork and insurance for the business set up.

Mitsuhide couldn’t complain about anything in his life currently. He was content to watch over her everyday and then again at night to make sure that she was not over doing it. The other professors in the building had noticed the change in him and commented on it almost daily. Everyone else had noticed the growing size of his TA and they started to put together that she was his partner but the how’s and why’s were never answered.

After one staff meeting Hideyoshi caught up to him. “Why did you tell us your signanifcate other was your TA?”

“Why ever would that matter?” Mitsuhide asked.

“Well she is showing now so when exactly did you two hook up? It had to be before the semester started but you seemed so indifferent to her in the beginning.” Hideyoshi asked, “Or was that part of your plan?”

“I was never indifferent to her.” Mitsuhide replied with a smirk. “Hideyoshi don’t look into it to much. Noelle and I are two adults and we decided to try to have a normal relationship for once. I love her and she me, though I have no idea why.”

“Well you have money, my friend.” Hideyoshi replied.

“And you think she is a gold digger?” Mitsuhide snidedly asked. He then laughed as he remembered the conversation on the first time he took her out to dinner what seemed so long ago. “She is not. Furthermore she is carrying my child there, I would watch what you say.”

“Come on Mitsuhide think about it clearly. I mean an very pretty young woman seemingly falls for a professor in her last semester. What better way to trp him then to get pregnant?” Hideyoshi asked.

“Or you could ask a seemingly beautiful intelligent woman managed to stir a professors mind and body and he went after the one thing he wanted in years.” Mitsuhide said as he smiled, “Either way Hideyoshi she was never my student and she is an adult so no lines were crossed professionally or legally. In a couple of months our son will be here and to be honest none of that concerns you. Now you will excuse me as my very pregnant TA who happens to be the love of my life is waiting for me.”

“Akechi just be careful.” Hideyoshi called out.

Mitsuhide just mumbled under his breath, “Your being careful will only lead you to be alone if you question every detail of other peoples lives, asshat.”

He walked to his office building and made his way up the stairs to hear a female seem to yell from the middle of his hallway. He walked down the corrider and saw his door was propped open. He rounded the corner and saw a student in the office with Noelle who looked up with relief as she saw him. she moved around the desk to place herself behind him. The student had wide eyes and looked almost deranged as she met his eyes.

“Do you remember me, Professor?” she asked though the words were forced.

“Of course I do Miss. Thompson.” He replied.

“Did you forget what we had so quickly that you moved on to her?” the young woman screamed.

“Miss. Thompson I am truly sorry but I have no idea what you are talking bout.” He replied clearly confused. As another young woman walked into the room.

“I am sorry Professor. It seems she went off her medication again and is slightly delusional. She had a slight crush on you while she took your class.” The other young woman said softly. “It seems she is having a slight break from reality and when she heard that you were having a child with your TA she broke completely.”

“How the hell did everyone find out?” Mitsuhide asked and Noelle shrugged her shoulders. She shook her head as well as she went to step around Mitsuhide to say something to the other woman but he forced her back behind him. “No, Noelle. You do not give her the chance to hurt you or him.”

“Mitsuhide I wanted to say something. I am not a child you know.” She said.

“God I know that already. Someone in a dissossitive state like this could easily throw or do something to seriously hurt you. I will never allow you to place yourself in that danger, let alone place him in that danger.” He said softly as he looked at her.

The other two women in the room were quiet now as one was talking softly to the other. She was calming the other down to the point it seemed she snapped back into place and saw where she was. Her face completely changed and so did her voice. “Oh my god. What did I do?” she asked as she stood up.

“Miss Thompson I believe you need to go have yourself evaluated and you also need to stay away from this building.We will not press charges today if you do that.” Noelle replied.

“Oh my god, did I hurt you?” Miss Thompson asked as she looked over Noelle.

“No. you did not. But you need to be seen by someone and you need to keep up with your medication. Neither of us will remember this incident though if you do those things.” Noelle said softly as the other woman helped lead Miss Thompson out of the building.

“You handled that surprisingly well.” Mitsuhdie said as he touched her stomach and pulled her closer.

“Mitsuhide I can handle myself without you getting in the way.” She said with a chuckle. “The simple fact is I understand her problem. Well both of her problems to be honest. I wouldn’t want to see you with any one else either. Her other issue well that isn’t her fault either.”

“I will always stand in front of you and will get in the way.” He said softly as he lowered his forehead to hers. “You are simple to important to me for me not to protect you.”

“I understand the reasoning but know that I can also take care of myself.” She said softly.

“I will try.” He whispered on her lips as he kissed her slowly and softly. “I just love you to much Noelle to let something happen to you.”

“I know that.” She said, “But do you think I want you to get hurt?”

“Instead of having this conversation mouse don’t we have to get ready for an appointment?” he asked.

“Really?” she said with a smile.

“Well we do have an appointment in an hour.” He replied.

“I know we do.” She said as she absentlymindedly rubbed her abdomen. The baby had been quiet most of the day.

“We are getting ready to bein the last part of just us, you know.” He said as he placed his hand there. “He needs a name sweetheart.”

“I know.” She said softly.

“I didn’t want to bring it up again after you got mad at me the last time, but I found one I like.” He said.

“I didn’t get mad at you but you were picking weird names Mitsuhide.” She said with a laugh. “What is this one?”

“Maximus.” He said.

“Maximus huh?’ she said as she thought about it. “Maximus Akechi.”

“What?” he asked as a look passed over her face.

“I like it.” She replied.

“You do?” he asked.

“You seemed surprised.” She laughed.

“You haven’t liked any name I suggested.” He chuckled.

“Maximus. It has a certain ring to it. Maximus Nathanial Akechi.” She said.

“Noelle that sounds perfect.” He said with a grin forming on his face.

“I like it. I think we found the aliens name Mitsuhide.” She said.

“Now you need to agree to become an Akechi as well.” Mitsuhide said.

“We talked about that already.” She said.

“I am not going to relent until you do agree to become my wife, Noelle.” He said. “I told you I don’t care if it is before the baby comes or after but I want you at least agree.”

“Mitsu.” She said with a huff.

“Please Noelle.” He asked. “I want my family to be complete”

“So if we aren’t married or engaged we aren’t complete?” she asked.

“You know what I mean.” He said. “When he is born I don’t want to see the name Hanson on anything. I want him to always be an Akechi. He is my son as well as yours.”

“I see your point. They did go over that at the last appointment that no matter what he will be born with my name not yours. I have to think about this Mitsu. I mean you are changing his life for sure but also mine.” She said.

“Mouse you know I love you.” He said as he looked at her.

“I know. I love you as well.” She said with a smile. “I never doubted that Mitsuhide. You have to understand I haven’t had the best examples of how a good marriage should work. The idea somewhat scares me.”

“I understand. Just know Mouse it is whatever we make of it. We haven’t followed any pattern to date. We will make our own way.” Mitsuhide said as he turned the ring he gave to her on her hand. She wore it openly and knew it was an engagement ring though she had not said yes yet. He knew he would wear her down sometime in the near future.

#ikemen sengoku inspired sort of #Akechi Mitsuhide #lessons learned

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farfallasunicas · 5 years

Text

Supernatural story updated

thanks to @missjanuarylily for the edit

Sam was glad to see Kinsey sitting outside. He claimed she wouldn’t go far ,but he said it more out of hope and determination than anything else. Sam looked at his little sister, his first instinct was to ask if she was ok even though he already knew the answer to that and thought it was pointless to ask. Instead he relied on Dean as a role model for what big brother’s do. After all, in Sam’s opinion when it came to brothers, Dean was the best.

“So” Sam started clearing his throat. “That was a lot of information to take in… anything you want to talk about?”

Kinsey just looked up at Sam with sad eyes shaking her head before realizing why Sam and Dean looked so familiar. They were the ones who saved her all those years ago. “You guys should’ve let me die all those years ago." She was speaking barley above a whisper " Instead of killing whatever that creature was that killed my sister... you should've let it take me” she quickly looked away as tears where rolling down her eyes, her voice betraying her. “I know you most likely don’t remember something that happened over a decade ago, but if you didn’t interfere I would’ve died and then maybe Ellie would’ve been saved … then I never would’ve become this…this ... monster!”

“Ok…Kinsey…deep breathe…slowdown. It’s ok” Sam tried to comfort her. “And even if we didn’t show up, you can’t know for sure that things would’ve been different”

Kinsey just glared at her supposedly older brother. She definitely had the Winchester temper. “That thing took everything away from me” Kinsey knew her emotions where getting the best of her, but she was too angry to care. “It killed my little sister then got me thrown out of my house. All I wanted was to avenge my sister. To keep anything from hurting anyone else I loved or cared about… and now I’ve become this... this…monster!”

“ Kinsey, sweetie, what happened with your sister is not your fault. You have to accept in this line of work that we unfortunately can’t save everyone. It’s tough, believe me I know it’s tough ,but you eventually have to accept that you did all you could, and not let the guilt eat you up inside” Sam’s soulful eyes looking into his sisters deciding to lighten the mood a bit. “ Besides you’re not a monster according to every lore I’ve ever read, angels are the good guys” Sam wasn’t about to tell the girl in front of him who just found out she was part angel that most of the ones he met were dicks. Right now she just needed to calm down the best that she could and just be a normal person. “Besides, if anyone of us is a monster it’s me”

Kinsey looked at her brother with a confused yet concerned look. Not sure she believed what he said. “But you’re a hero! All those years ago when you told me monsters were real, you also told mr hunters are like superheroes , so wouldn’t that make you a hero?”

“ That was Dean who said that not me" Sam corrected. " However choosing to use that logic it makes you one too” Sam smiled reassuring her. Apparently his little sister was a mixture of him and Dean. At least he has someone else who might like research like he does. “But in all honesty, I could be considered a monster. I’ve been soulless, hooked on demon blood, and done so many horrible things during that time that my own brother wanted to hunt me”

“You seem ok to me right now” Kinsey admitted her angel-like innocence shining through.

“I am… I had my family to help me, and I got better” Sam sighed. “ And we’re willing to help you as well, if you choose to let us. You’re not in this alone Kinsey”

“Thanks Sammy” Kinsey smiled finally calming down and giving Sam a hug. He just smiled hugging the girl back. Normally he wouldn’t let anyone but Dean call him Sammy, but somehow, Kinsey, his little sister calling him Sammy just felt right.

*********************************

Meanwhile inside the bar Reed had just come too and was determined to raise hell and hunt his girlfriend, though he was a bit unsteady.

::Easy” Dean said helping Reed steady himself. “You might have a concussion, it’s best to take it easy and go to a doctor”

Reed glared at Dean. He hated this guy so much. “You know as well as I do that a concussion is nothing in this line of work. I’m fine…and as a hunter you also know that we’ve got to kill Kinsey. That power could only mean she’s possessed or something has killef her and is using her meat suit. That's not the Kinsey I know out there. No human has powers like that!” Reed was getting ready to go out, not sure how to kill whatever she was but he could sure exorcise it and send it back to where it belonged.

Dean put his arms out blocking Reed’s way. “She’s not possessed” Dean admitted getting ready to explain when Reed cut him off.

“You think you know everything just because you’ve done this all your life! I come from a long line of hunters. I can tell when someone isn’t human…now move out of my way!”

“ She’s not possessed! She’s a Nephilim!” Dean was doing his best to keep his patience.

“A What!?” Reed shouted. “There’s no such thing”

“She’s an angel-human hybrid. She doesn’t have her full powers so she’s not going to hurt anyone. Just get out of her life already, she doesn’t need someone like you…and that’s coming from me!” Dean tried to explain.

This just made Reed that much angrier. “I told you to move!” He said taking a swing at Dean which was successfully dodged. Dean then returned a punch like he often gave Sam when he was mad at him. " You're right. That's not the Kinsey you know out there. You know Kinsey Noelle. That girl out there is Kinsey Winchester so do us a favor and stay away from my sister". Reef was about to come after him but Dean just walked away. “Sammy! Kinsey! C’mon let’s get out of here and find a place to crash for the night”

Kinsey looked confused as Dean and Sam walked to the impala. “Me?” She clarified. Not even an hour ago this guy had dismissed her and refused to accept that she was anything but something he had to stop.

“Yes you” Dean commanded “I might be mean and badass sometimes but I’m not cruel enough to leave a young lady out on the street with nowhere to go, especially when she hasn’t done anything”

“I’ve got a place to go. Reed and I have a place just up the road. I’ll be fine…but thank you” Kinsey honestly wasn’t sure what to say or accept. She was beginning to wonder if a trickster had thrown her into an alternate universe.

“My little sister will not be staying with a douchebag like that!” Dean responded adding authority to his voice. “Now get in the damn car! I really don’t want to give you an order but I will if it’s necessary!”

Kinsey always knew that she should respect her elders and she thought why not give it a chance. She could always sneak out later if these guys were insane. Instead she just rolled her eyes climbing in the backseat of the Impala.

Sam couldn’t help but smile as Dean drove off into the night. He was glad that Dean seemed to be accepting their little sister. After all Mom and Cass wouldn’t lie about it. And since Dean never did accept it Adam as there brother he was expecting the same thing to happen with Linsey even though he did prove Sam wrong by taking Jack under his wing last year. Hopefully would Kinsey under his wing too. If not Sam certainly would. Either way this was sure to be a wild adventure.

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ethicallysourcedhumanmeat · 7 years

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Lost Boys: Day Two:5

[ < ][first][ > ] [AO3][Masterpost]

He’s on the train back from his meeting with the director when he wonders if No would be at rehearsal; He wants to tell her about getting the part. Elle had seemed so excited she’d even left him a really cute voicemail while he was on a call with his agent just now but for some reason he wanted to tell No about it. He couldn’t really figure out why, he hadn’t really gotten to talk to her all that much, but he wanted to know her better.

Maybe it was the intensity he saw when she was rehearsing, Elle was so cute but No, well she was definitely attractive, nope, this was a professional interest. Watching her fence, watching her run lines, she could match his intensity if she did musicals, and she could sing if she got past her stage fright.

Yes, getting to know her was purely professional.

Standing on the train back into the city he sees a boy with blue hair and remembers the chat with V from earlier. It had been weird, something had been off, and Elle’s demeanor had totally changed for the brief time they were talking to him. She must be a fan, god she’s so cute, that’s probably why V was strange, he could probably tell.

When he gets inside he doesn’t have to ask if anyone has seen her. Most of the performers have stopped to eat, and being Friday the space is pretty empty but No is on the stage, the bright white of her headphone cord flares out with her movements, stark against the dark coloured tank top she wears.

She’s dancing now? God was she just good at everything? Well, not good, there was something not right about the way she moved, she seemed to struggle with her feet. Maybe he could offer to help? But she stops and pulls her phone out of her shirt, makes some notes, stretches and starts again.

“Hyun, you’re back,” the director slaps him on the back. “Did you forget something?”

“Oh, I, uh, just thought I’d—”

“Don’t hurt yourself kid, you don’t have to tell me which one it is. You’ve got perfect timing regardless; I just got the first draft of your script.”

Nina had been happy to see her. Noelle had arrived at the end of one of her classes, a bunch of grade school kids ranging in skill from constantly laying on the ice to practicing camel spins when they thought no one was looking. She tried to sneak in and hide in the bleachers with the parents but Nina clearly saw her, she supposed being a head taller than most of the parents with a bright blue skate bag over her shoulder probably wasn’t the subtlest she could have been.

Nina had practically slammed into the boards and screamed her name.

“When you said you might stop by later I thought you meant my house for a drink, you know since your short break has turned into six whole months.”

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to get your hopes up it’s just been really busy at work, and I’ve been spending a lot of times at rehearsals, I keep meaning to come back it’s just—”

“You do you babe,” Nina had laughed and planted a comical sucking kiss on her cheek. “Get your skates on and help me round up these little monsters!”

She’d meant to, she really had but when she was lacing up her skates her phone had chimed and, well that had been the weirdest conversation she’d ever had. V was Jihyun, she’d known that, it was his Photography Psued, but he’d been cold. Maybe that’s who he was now, no one seemed to find it out of place, Zen had seemed so happy to see him.

Was she crying, shit, it had been so long. Did he know it was her? No, why did she care. She didn’t care if Jihyun knew, so what if he’d been like that on purpose, it was probably for her benefit, this was why she didn’t call him.

“Hey, if you didn’t want to skate with the kids you could have just said,” Nina frowned down at her but her face softened. “Noelle, what’s wrong? Sorry, I didn’t-”

She shook her head. “No it’s fine, I got distracted by one of those sad dog transformations on facebook.”

Nina shook her head. “You didn’t, but you don’t have to talk about it, what’s up?”

Noelle leads her friend back to the ice and explained the situation to her, of course Nina was already familiar with the source, just like she’d hoped and after two hours on the ice, not only did Noelle have more reference shots than she knew what to do with, they’d managed to work out a simple standalone program that Noelle was going to animate in her non-existent free time as plan-b.

Just like she’d hoped Nina didn’t even want payment, Noelle simply had to commit to coming back to their skating family, teaching a group class once a week, and consider coaching private lessons.

“I know you’ve got a lot on your plate but as soon as you finish this project I get you one day a week, guaranteed, that’s all I ask.”

Noelle had laughed and agreed.

With that worked out she went home, proper home, and packed a bag. Her things, Darryl’s things, her computer and tablet, she even grabbed her favorite mug out of the cupboard. She collected Darryl from her neighbor and thanked her profusely.

“Are you moving Noelle?”

“Oh no Ma’am,” Noelle smiled up at the older woman from where she knelt in front of her dog, “just house sitting for a while.”

“Oh that’s very kind of you.”

She drags 2 suitcases, a gig bag, a laptop bag and a giant dog into the elevator. Her phone chimes again as she drops everything in the entry way. Darryl saunters past, laying one big slobbery kiss on her forehead before surveying his temporary kingdom and Noelle lets herself fall gently to the floor where she lays face down while she fishes her phone out of her pocket.

“So are you married to your dog?” 707 laughs on the other end of the phone.

“It’s an open relationship,” she grunts.

“So is that a family thing? Does Chief Han have a ferret his girlfriends can never live up to?”

Noelle sits up cross legged and laughs. “You know we’re not really related right? I mean big bad hacker did a background check on me so...”

“Hey the internet says you guys were doing the incest, who am I to question— No, No, Elle don’t hang up I’m kidding, I’m kidding.”

“It’s not funny, that ruined my life, okay, and it was a stupid rumor nothing ever happened.”

“I could get rid of it if you want,” his voice is earnest, softer than she’d yet heard.

“It’s been so long, the damage is done.”

“Don’t worry about it,” he says, “I’ve already got a program that can do the job, just a little tweak, it’s already going along, hungry little buddy, no more nasty rumors about you and your not-brother.”

She laughs despite herself. Where was this guy 8 years ago?

“Byebye,” he chirps and the line goes dead.

She’s sitting in her car in the free parking lot a few blocks from the rehearsal space when her phone chirps again. She’d gotten groceries and decided to pack dinner for herself; she’d eat it when she got home probably, she rarely ever had an appetite when she was rehearsing.

She pulls her phone out of her pocket and checks the notification from the messenger. Zen is excited about a new role, written just for him, Jesus where do I find fangirls? She swallows her jealousy and cheers him on. She’d flirted with him earlier in the day and she was tempted to call him and flirt again, it would stem the disappointment. He was on his way home.

Fuck it, she does call him but it goes straight to voicemail. She leaves a message for him, conscious of the pitch of her voice, a little higher than her practiced speaking voice, a little more femme than she normal goes for, 707 had been clear he couldn’t know that she was Elle.

Her agent is more than apologetic and she feels her body tense in anticipation as he lifts her off the floor in an bear hug. She shrugs and hangs her things up, switches to her slippers and scouts out the stage. She should be running lines, finding someone to read with her at the audition, they’d specified they wanted the performers to bring a scene partner, someone not vying for a role in the showcase.

But she really needed to get the flow of this choreography down, she had the foot work down when she’d left but Nina had been on her about her arms. She had slacked on her workouts, and her core had suffered, it was hard to keep her arms moving the way Nina liked to see when she was distracted by her posture, the way her stomach was jiggling, the way she felt so wobbly. Nina could see it too; she hadn’t added any jumps despite Noelle’s history.

It was probably the weirdest dance, so much should happen while she was gliding, she stops and makes a few notes and scans the stage, maybe if she had a balance beam to stand on it would be more effective. It’s a stupid idea. Min-ju corners her.

“So that’s cool, are you going to a really slow rave or something?”

“Do people still go to raves?” she laughs.

Min-ju cocks her head to the side.

“Thinking of getting back into skating.”

“That’s random, are you giving up the dream then?”

Noelle laughs, “which dream?”

Min-ju throws her arms to the sides and spins in a circle. “This one, of course.”

Min-ju isn’t there to rehearse, she tells Noelle, but she didn’t want to admit that she just didn’t have plans for Friday night, she’s still young and excited to be disappointing her parents. She tweaks some of Nina’s program and runs line with Noelle for another hour or so.

“So did you hear about your boyfriend’s new role?”

“My what,” she chokes on her water.

Min-ju laughs. “Or your hero or whatever, Zen,” she fakes a swoon when she says his name and Noelle laughs.

“Yeah, I heard something about it.”

“Can you imagine,” Min-ju swings her feet dreamily, “do you think they’re really adapting it especially for him?”

Noelle shrugs. “I should apologize to him for yesterday.”

“Eh, whatever.”

“Is he here?”

“Do you like him,” the smaller woman whispers.

“I’ve only talked to him once,” Noelle frowns.

“Then what are you so worried about?”

“It’s manners, MJ, I literally fell on him yesterday and then whatever happened on that stage last night. He was really nice, that’s all.”

“Okay,” she draws it out and squints suspiciously. “I think I saw him in the reading room when I came in.”

Noelle’s phone chimes again in the hallway.

“WooOooOOOoo,” 707 warbles into her ear, “it is I the ghost of boyfriends yet to come.”

“Oh my god,” she groans.

“Just a friendly reminder that Zen does not know you’re Elle. Remember No and Elle are separate until the party, when you can finally be—”

“Please don’t.”

“Noelle.”

“Please never make my name a pun again.”

#Lost Boys #Noelle vs the RFA #hyun ryu #mystic messenger #luciel choi

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recentanimenews · 5 years

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THE GREAT CRUNCHYROLL NARUTO REWATCH Arrives at the Big Moment: Naruto vs. Sasuke in Episodes 126-132!

Welcome back to the GREAT CRUNCHYROLL NARUTO REWATCH! I'm Nicole Mejias, and I'll be your host this week as we make our way through all 220 episodes of the original Naruto. Last week, we covered Episodes 120-126, where Gaara and the sand ninjas redeemed themselves and started kicking some major butt! Also, drunk Rock Lee!

This week, we’re passing the 100 episodes left mark by hitting episodes 127-133, and that means it is time for the showdown we’ve all been waiting for: Naruto vs. Sasuke! But first, Gaara has a few minor things to finish dealing with, but it seems like everyone’s favorite sandy boy will be fine. Sadly, this week’s batch ends right before the grand finale of Naruto vs. Sasuke, but we get through a lot of the emotional labor first before the big pay-off by seeing more of Sasuke and Itachi’s mysterious pasts.

Let’s not delay the big showdown any longer and find out what the Features Team thought!

Boy, that sure was an anti-climactic finish to the Gaara vs. Kimimaro fight. How did you feel about the way that resolved?

Paul: I didn't feel that Gaara vs. Kimimaro was anti-climatic, partly because the whole bone thing really creeped me out and I was ready for that to be over, but also because they spent time climbing inside Kimimaro's head-space, and he was ultimately such a tragic character. I'm a sucker for how Orochimaru keeps hoovering up all of the sad, queer ninja kids who don't belong in their original clans and Villages and creating a weird, evil Brady Bunch ninja family.

Kevin: The end of that fight is one of the few things in the entire franchise that disappointed me so much that it came back around to being memorable.

Danni: Honestly, having a character just up and die from an illness feels both so convenient and so subversive that I have to respect it.

Jared: It always kind of felt like that was going to be the inevitable end anyways, so I’m not too bothered by it. Although, I feel like with his ability, ripping out your spinal column and using it should be an ability that would ultimately end you, yet it’s just his illness.

David: The ending was so abrupt that I was surprised it was over well after the fact. Kimimaro has an interesting story but he got shortchanged by being the midboss before the most important fight in the whole first “part” of the show, I guess.

Joseph: I totally loved how it ended! I’m a sucker for subverting expectations like that. Considering all Kimimaro has gone through, it was more than appropriate to die like that on the spot during such a huge fight.

Noelle: I’m still surprised by it, to be completely honest. I could’ve gone for more of course, but there’s something about it that’s so abrupt that made it stick with me. Perfect timing for our heroes, but at the same time, fitting. I felt it worked.

Carolyn: I actually loved that ending. We don’t always need to have a big flashy violent showdown. He fought hard, his body couldn't take it. It’s different and refreshing. I’m a fan.

Kara: After Kimimaro literally pulled out his own spine I was kind of too dazed to register anything else.

Personally, I always found it interesting how other characters were far more interesting than Naruto and Sasuke at times, and I think the growth of Gaara is a great example of that. How do you feel about Gaara now vs. when he first showed up?

Paul: Before, Gaara was a psychopathic but adorable baby murder cinnamon roll, and I loved him. Now he's a sympathetic but adorable baby murder cinnamon roll, and I still love him, only in a slightly different way. I'm really looking forward to seeing how he continues to develop as a character.

Kevin: Well, they were supposed to be designed after Goku and Vegeta, so Naruto being the most boring one might just be an extra faithful homage. As for Gaara, I don’t dislike that he’s mellowed out and is willing to cooperate with people, but I wish that we saw more of a gradual change instead of him just suddenly not being murderous because Naruto’s greatest jutsu is friendship.

Danni: I really liked seeing Gaara act more sympathetic to those around him. I don’t think he’s more interesting than Naruto yet, but I’m looking forward to seeing more of him.

Jared: As someone who was definitely a detractor of him before his turn, I’m enjoying seeing how he’s taken to heart some of the stuff Naruto told him and even throwing it back in the face of Kimimaro. I’m curious to see if he continues to be ever brooding throughout or if that part of him changes or not.

David: He’s definitely more interesting now than he was previously. I particularly enjoyed the scene between him and Lee as they just sort of chilled together under a tree’s shade after the fight with Kimimaro was over.

Joseph: I like Gaara but I don’t necessarily think he’s any more interesting than Naruto is. It’s too early to tell how his character will evolve from here, but I like what they’re doing with him.

Noelle: Gaara is one of my top faves, so I’m not going to pretend I don’t have a bias here. I think Naruto’s still pretty great and I wouldn’t say Gaara is more engaging than he is, but Gaara’s really made some strides. He’s taken the lessons he’s been given and learned from them, and he is becoming more of a complete person as a result. Also, that doesn’t stop his potential in a fight at all. You go, Gaara.

Carolyn: I still feel like there was no character growth here. He just showed up. He wanted to kill Rock Lee not that long ago and there was zero resolution to that. They just join forces out of nowhere.

Kara: I’m not sure how I feel re: character growth. I mean obviously there was some, because he’s not rocking back and forth in a ball of sand whispering to his mother. So, you know, good for him, clearly got some stuff sorted out for himself. I’d be interested to see what happened while we were looking the other way, though. Naruto doesn’t exactly fear flashbacks, so I have a feeling we’ll find out at some point.

Speaking of character growth, Rock Lee has certainly had an interesting arc in these past few episodes. It feels good to see him back, if a bit fast, but since we probably won’t see him for a while, how do you feel about Lee’s send off here?

Paul: Way back in the write-up for episodes 50–56, I proposed that Rock Lee is the Mick Foley of the Naruto universe, in that he's kind of a dork, everybody loves him, and he gets the ever-living tar beat out of him every time he shows up. I have to add an additional way that Rock's trajectory resembles Mick's pro-wrestling career: he loses–dramatically–in all of his most important matches. I'd honestly like to see him win something for a change.

Kevin: To be perfectly honestly, my first thought after seeing the question was “wait, did Lee get a send off?”, so that’s probably not a good sign.

Danni: That was a send off???

Jared: If there’s not a filler arc that’s just Rock Lee getting up to shenanigans, I’m going to be very disappointed.

David: Such is the fate of tertiary Naruto characters.

Joseph: Poor Rock Lee. I love him but this was his least memorable set of episodes in my opinion. I second the “that was a send off?” question.

Noelle: In terms of canonical material (filler not included) I know this is going to be the last we see of Lee for a while. And that’s such a shame–Lee’s a good kid, and I could always take more Rock Lee.

Carolyn: Yeah, I wasn’t aware that was a send off either. I would have just seen that as any other side character episode. They are there sometimes and sometimes they are not.

Kara: Wait, where’s he going? No one told me he was going anywhere. Shoot. Now I’m going to go back and watch his drunken fighting and appreciate it harder.

So, here we are. Naruto vs. Sasuke. The big culmination of the recovery arc is about to occur… and… flashbacks. So, how do we feel about the secrets of the Uchiha clan, the Mangekyo Sharingan, and Itachi after these revelations?

Paul: If I'm reading this correctly, in order to master the ultimate Sharingan technique of the Uchiha clan, you have to murder someone (or multiple someones) that you love dearly. I get that, very ninja-esque. I still don't understand what motivates Itachi to pursue that level of power. That bit about him “testing his vessel” was just gibberish to me. I did like how they changed up some details in Sasuke's flashbacks, implying that Itachi's techniques have the ability to alter people's memories.

Kevin: I am continuing to try to not spoil too much about future events, so for now I’ll stick with this: I like that that a lot of things are getting explored. The Uchiha’s role in the village, what the Mangekyo Sharingan is, some kind of motivation for Itachi killing the clan. It’s all neat and whether you like the answers or not, at least there’s an answer instead of everything completely unexplained for the entire show. That being said… don’t get too attached to most of it.

Danni: I continue to eagerly anticipate how they try to flip it so that Itachi was actually the good guy all along.

Jared: No wonder Sasuke has become the way he is, Itachi and his dad surely didn’t help things. Itachi’s drive to being out of his mind with the vessel talk seemed odd, but having that kind of constant pressure on you to be the best, especially at a young age can cause you to break in bad ways.

David: I actually thought the flashbacks did a lot to make Itachi look like one of the most intelligent and reasonable characters in the whole show, a real role model for Sasuke. Of course, Itachi doesn’t end up finding the results he wants fast enough by working within the system, so he ends up choosing to burn the system itself to the ground instead. His stated reasoning isn’t just odd, it’s also at odds with everything he said leading up to it. How can he justify all this carnage for the sake of power, when one of the core tenets of his ideology beforehand was how badly power and the pursuit of it messes people up? As of now anyway, he doesn’t, and that leads Sasuke to taking all the wrong lessons from his big brother. But maybe there’s more to the story than we’ve gotten so far.

Joseph: I found the past of the Uchiha clan interesting, but wasn’t a huge fan of the way they structured it. I’d rather have a couple solid episodes exploring the backstory than peppering it so much throughout the buildup to the fight that it impacts the pacing. There’s still a ton of mystery to Itachi to dig into, though.

Noelle: My other fave is Itachi, and I very clearly remember how these episodes went down and just how revelatory they were to me. The Itachi we see in the flashbacks, where you can tell Sasuke genuinely loves and admires, compared to the fallout we see now, what a difference. Growing up in the Uchiha clan is really not the best place to be, huh.

Carolyn: This week is very, very flashback heavy. Generally, we get some flashbacks intermingled with fighting. This feels like it leans on the flashbacks a lot. I do feel like they are trying to set it up to appear that Itachi was secretly a good guy and we got him all wrong like this show likes to do.

Kara: I was thinking to myself all through this how there are basically no ninja clans that don’t have drama. Then I remembered, well, this is a society devoted to training (and occasionally modifying your body in horrifying ways) toward a single purpose, of course it’s gonna be a mess every day. I actually didn’t mind the flashbacks being peppered throughout. That’s a thing I know the show does, and it’s an interesting way to slow-release info at just the right time for things to land meaning-wise. It explains a lot, I’ll say that.

So, something that always bothered me: I kind of feel like Sasuke is being a brat. How do you all feel about this development in Sasuke’s character? I never really found myself sympathetic to his personality change.

Paul: I agree that Sasuke is being a brat, but to me that seems less like a drastic change in character and more like a natural evolution given his motivations and back-story. The desire for revenge has been eating him alive from the very beginning, and no matter how many people reach out to him, Sasuke can't see past his own pain and his own rage. I pity him and I want him to find a better path, and that's good character writing.

Kevin: He didn’t really have any kind of personality change. It’s more that he’s always been power hungry in order to kill Itachi, and now he’s seen that he’s nowhere near strong enough and so is desperate to grow even more quickly no matter the risks. It honestly makes a lot of sense, especially now that we know his backstory better. It’s just a shame that he perpetually sounds like he’s ignoring everyone and throwing a tantrum instead of telling people why he’s leaving and/or asking other people for help, since strength in numbers is still strength.

Danni: I don’t quite see him as a brat. If anything I fail to understand why he’s chosen Orochimaru’s path towards strength. Surpassing his brother means nothing if he does so with borrowed power. Itachi got where he is all on his own. Shouldn’t Sasuke do the same?

Jared: I don’t think he ever really changed out of his revenge obsession, but just got to a point where he figured Orochimaru’s plan would be his easiest path to getting the power to take on Itachi. Although it was interesting during the fight with Naruto where he basically had to keep pumping himself up and telling himself that there’s no turning back from this, as if he has to constantly say that or everything just breaks for him.

David: I take contention with both the idea that Sasuke’s personality has changed as well as the idea that this isn’t Sasuke’s last resort. In regards to the former, Sasuke was literally introduced with the idea of revenge as not just his main but his only motivator; every instance we see of him even confiding in his teammates like with the tree-climbing exercise was ultimately another step toward that goal and not much else. Evolving from that, it is only natural that Sasuke would be enticed by something like Orochimaru’s proposed “easy button” of sorts for power. He has been trying to do what Itachi could for essentially his whole life, even before he hated Itachi, as this week’s flashbacks show. However, he has never had the innate talent Itachi did; Itachi tried to teach him that this might not even be a thing he should care so much about, but that lesson got thrown out the window when Itachi made Sasuke hate him and forget all about it. I think what I’m getting at here is that Sasuke hasn’t changed almost at all so far, but if we step back and look at everything we’ve learned about him, he is simply more complicated than we used to think.

Joseph: It’s all really tragic, especially when we get hints of the potential for change within Sasuke. He’s clearly wrestling with the fact that he’s found friends yet he’s a freight train with a single destination. Anything in the way gets plowed through completely, and it’s just kind of sad. I will say I never saw Naruto and Sasuke’s relationship with the sometimes rose-tinted glasses the flashbacks give it, but such is life.

Noelle: Sasuke is 100% a brat, but at the same time, his mental gymnastic routine isn’t one that’s unfathomable for his character. He’s always stated that his driving force is vengeance, something that comes from a truly negative place as opposed to a positive one, so is it really that strange that he’d end up going to extremes? I don’t think so. The seed was always there, and now it’s exploded into the worst venue possible. It makes sense.

Carolyn: The more I rewatch the more I wonder why I liked Sasuke in the first place. He’s such a punk.

Kara: When Sasuke said that line about “I’m special, too,” I was like… that’s it, that’s the character arc. Naruto spent all this time grumbling about how much people like Sasuke, but then he turned that into a reason to get better. I can understand Sasuke’s background and damage based on his family, but this whole being mad because people are more interested in Naruto’s tummy-fox than in Sasuke is childish.

So, we don’t see what happens in the battle yet this week, but how do you all think it's going to go? Who do you have as the winner? And does it even matter who wins, since it may be the end of this friendship?

Paul: Judging by the episode for next week entitled “The Promise That Could Not Be Kept” which features a thumbnail of Naruto covered in bandages, I'm going to go out on a limb here and say that Naruto gets his butt kicked. I wouldn't worry about the friendship ending. If Shonen Jump series have taught me anything, it's that yesterday's mortal enemies are tomorrow's super best friends.

Kevin: This is Naruto, the world will end before a friendship does. That being said, this is a battle where no matter the outcome, there is no winner. If Naruto takes Sasuke back to the village, it’ll only be by literally dragging him back. If Sasuke wins, Naruto fails everyone waiting for him to bring Sasuke back. If Kakashi intervenes, then the fight had basically no meaning since there is no actual conclusion. But if there is any conclusion, then one of them may well die (of course, we have a bit of clairvoyance on our side knowing that there are 90 more episodes and two sequel series with the name Naruto in the title, so the stakes are lowered a little).

Danni: My gut is telling me that Sasuke will get away in the end, but my brain is telling me that we have months of filler ahead of us and there’s no way Sasuke can just be gone for all of it. Do you really expect any of us to believe this friendship is over, though? Really???

Jared: I’m not really expecting a de facto winner to emerge here, but something to happen and Sasuke is able to continue on his path and Naruto goes the other way. Whether that’s by Kakashi interrupting the fight or they somehow double KO each other. It’s just weird to think as well because this is it before we go into fillerville and I don’t know how exactly you continue on from this type of encounter and leave out someone like Sasuke who’s going to have this brand new story and character arc.

Joseph: Whoever wins… WE win, because episode 133 was an all-timer and one of the most impressively animated fights of the series thus far. It’s a testament to Kishimoto’s character crafting just how emotional it all is, too. It really feels desperate and crucial.

Noelle: Siding with Joseph here- we, the audience are the true victors. I’m so excited to have this fight on my plate again.

Carolyn: Naruto has to win, right? I don’t think this is the end of their friendship, but maybe a super, duper, major strain on it.

Kara: Kakashi’s gonna drag both those dumb buttheads back to the village.

As always, what were the high and low points of this week’s batch?

Paul: My high point is the entirety of episode 133, where Naruto and Sasuke really lay into one another and the production values get cranked up to eleven. I especially liked that key beats in the fight, such as when Sasuke nearly burns Naruto to a crisp with his fire-breathing Jutsu, were played like horror movie beats rather than action movie ones. My low point was all of the recycled footage leading up to that point, as the extensive use of flashbacks often took me out of the moment.

Kevin: High - Naruto and Sasuke actually fighting in earnest. Not a specific moment, but the back and forth of each revealing new powers and giving the fight everything, even a better animation budget. Low - So, does the Leaf just not have law enforcement anymore? The Uchiha were the police force, and I don’t remember anyone ever mentioning the force in present day, nor mentioning the force being rebuilt after the Uchiha were wiped out. Maybe the Anbu took over, but that seems excessive and we would probably see a lot more cloaked figures in masks if that were the case.

Danni: The high point this week is easily the entire real fight between Naruto and Sasuke, no contest. The animation was stellar and my god the creative choreography in that fight was to die for. I could watch it over and over again. I want to say the low point was the multiple episodes of recap, but if that’s what it takes to get the amazing-looking fight we did, just lay the flashbacks on me, Pierrot.

Jared: High point is easily Naruto vs. Sasuke when it actually got going. It was phenomenal. Low point would probably be the constant tease to the fight with a bunch of flashbacks and what not, but in the end, it was well worth the wait.

David: My high point actually is the flashbacks, because of how much more interesting they made both Sasuke and Itachi, which is vital to making the entire conflict actually interesting. Low point is the suddenly deflated balloon that is the end of the Kimimaro fight. Poor dude.

Joseph: High point: Naruto vs. Sasuke for real in episode 133.

Low point: I think they could have condensed the flashbacks or structured them differently. It took me out of the buildup even though it was part of the buildup.

Noelle: High point, Sasuke’s backstory and how that resulted in a massive character breakdown. Also, Naruto vs Sasuke, give me that high-tier animation any day of the week. Low point, the pacing of the flashbacks, but that’s more of an arbitrary point. I really liked the content we got this week.

Carolyn: High point: Honestly that super surprising ending to Gaara’s fight. So original! Low point: Probably Sasuke’s jerk attitude. Chill out, man.

Kara: High point is the Naruto vs. Sasuke fight, as expected. Low point is Sasuke’s level-up lipstick. It’s not working for him. I’d have gone warmer tone.

COUNTERS:

Ramen: 2 bowls Hokage: 0 Clones: 15 + 1 uncountable scene

Total so far:

Bowls of Ramen: 44 bowls, 3 cups

“I'm Gonna be Hokage!”: 52

Shadow Clones Created: 367

And that's everything for this week! Remember that you're always welcome to join us for this rewatch, especially if you haven't watched the original Naruto! Watch Naruto today!

CATCH UP ON THE REWATCH!

Episodes 120-126: The Sand Siblings Return

Episodes 113-119: Operation Rescue Sasuke

Episodes 106-112: Sasuke Goes Rogue

Episodes 99-105: Trouble in the Land of Tea

Episodes 92-98: Clash of the Sannin

Episodes 85-91: A Life-Changing Decision

Episodes 78-84: The Fall of a Legend

Episodes 71-77: Sands of Sorrow

Episodes 64-70: Crashing the Chunin Exam

Episodes 57-63: Family Feud

Episodes 50-56: Rock Lee Rally

Episodes 43-49: The Gate

Episodes 36-42: Through the Woods

Episodes 29-35: Sakura Unleashed

Episodes 22-28: Chunin Exams Kickoff

Episodes 15-21: Leaving the Land of Waves

Episodes 8-14: Beginners' Battle

Episodes 1-7: I'm Gonna Be the Hokage!

Here's our upcoming schedule:

- May 31st, NOELLE OGAWA will start us off on a journey back into the land of filler.

- June 7th, DAVID LYNN keeps us going as we get even deeper into filler.

- June 14th, PAUL CHAPMAN will detail in the depth of this sea of fillers.

Thank you for joining us for the Great Crunchyroll Naruto Rewatch! Have a great weekend, and we'll see you all next time!

Have anything to say about our thoughts on Episodes 127-133? Let us know in the comments! Don't forget, we're also accepting questions and comments for next week, so don't be shy and feel free to ask away!

----

Nicole is a features and a social video script writer for Crunchyroll. Known for punching dudes in Yakuza games on her Twitch channel while professing her love for Majima. She also has a blog, Figuratively Speaking. Follow her on Twitter: @ellyberries

Do you love writing? Do you love anime? If you have an idea for a features story, pitch it to Crunchyroll Features!

By: [email protected]

#Anime #News #Latest in Anime News by Crunchyroll!

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markwatkinsconsumerguide · 5 years

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Consumer Guide / No.75 / with singer-songwriter, Bronwen Exter.

MW : Introduce me to the band…

BE : I'll list them in order of how long we've been playing music together:

Jennifer Middaugh - Vocal harmonies. Before a song is even done I know I can't sing it without her. Sometimes I write harmony lines explicitly, and sometimes she comes up with them. Jen is a BFF, I always let her order the sushi because she knows how to do so in a completely decadent way. She can sing circles around me. We met around 2000 at the Cosmic Joke Collective in NYC hosted by our Parisian friend, Mary Noelle Dana, or maybe at the off Broadway show De La Guarda. Our first collaboration was ‘Willow Weep For Me’. We ducked off at a loft party on the Lower East Side to put it together as a surprise that turned out to be an unforgettable collaboration, still going strong.

Michael Stark - Piano and Organ. In 2009, Jen and Mike and I spent a whole July night until daybreak making a recording of my song, ‘Junkyard’. Around dawn, by the time we were using beer bottle percussion and heavy chains for ambiance on the track, all the files were lost. It was so tragically funny we've been playing together ever since. Mike has all the charts to all my songs on the same old ragged pieces of paper. I make up chords and he names them and interprets them for everyone else. He knows my music inside and out, in some cases better than I do.

Matthew Saccuccimorano - Drums. Matt produced my second record, ‘Junkyard’, when we were a trio with a different drummer, (beloved Dana Billings). Matt is grouchy and loveable. He has the coolest family and smartest, most talented kids in the world. When Dana got too busy with another band he is in, I was really excited for the silver lining of bringing Matt into the band. He loves to rehearse, and he brings a production sensibility to rehearsals. In return, I sometimes bring him cookies. We both love loud drums, though we have completely different definitions of what loud drums are.

John Young - Electric and Upright Bass. Jen and I have also known John for almost 20 years. He plays in the cult NYC band Spottiswoode and His Enemies, one of our all time favorite acts and influences. John loves coffee, and John is great at talking. He definitely comes across as extremely smart, and I suspect he actually is.

Jason Shegogue - Guitar and Lap Steel. As Matt says, every single thing Jason plays sounds like a record. Jason collects old gear and never makes fun of my guitar playing. He is awfully nurturing, for being so good.

Venissa Santi - Vocal harmonies. Venissa learned two full sets of Jen's parts last spring because of a late conflict Jen had with our local release show, which speaks to her chops. Like Jen, she sings jazz in her own band. Once that show was done, once she had written her own parts to some new songs, once we heard the way we could all do three part harmonies, once we realized how fun she is in a band, once we realized splitting a couple hundred bucks seven ways is just about like splitting it six and nobody really cares anyway, she had to stay.

MW : Tell me about your new album…

BE : We recorded ‘Snakeskin, There’ at Old Soul Studios in Catskill, NY, where I made my first record ‘Elevator Ride’ in 2005. Kenny Siegal produced and recorded. It is available digitally on all the usual places, and physically through CD Baby or directly from me, in person.

The title comes from a lyric in track 3: ‘The Creature That You Knew’. The song is about a snake or, rather, the fact that I kept finding a snakeskin at my doorstep and it kind of freaked me out, but then I took inspiration thinking about metamorphosis and personal growth, how much better I liked myself living in a little house in the middle of nowhere than I had when I lived in NYC. At the same time, the bridge of the song is nostalgic for Paris musically and lyrically, and all the trappings of a more cosmopolitan life, so there's something unresolved in it.

The lyrics on this record come roughly half from dreams and half from stark life in Upstate NY, married and a new mom. There was a rawness to the time I wrote it, a lot of raw love. It's not an album of lullabies - I've also been called dreamy in the past, and I like to think that the dreaminess of these songs is more like when you wake up, can't shake it, and go, what the F was that?!

There are a couple singles, too - ‘Shapeshifter’ and ‘The Chase’, which is a three minute rock song. I wrote ‘The Chase’ with my wife Rachel on a picnic blanket. It's about the lure of the bad ex we all have.

MW : From your website, you seem to like PIE CHARTS?! What were your best subjects at school, and how did you actually get on with mathematics?!!

BE : I am terrible at math. I love history, and I love literature. The pie charts were a joke, but there’s way too little opportunity to not take yourself seriously promoting music, so I went with it.

I was fascinated with the idea of how transparent my songwriting could get if I challenged myself to be more clear and specific, thematically. Along the same lines as trying not to write songs in A minor, when I made the pie charts I was trying to check myself for cliches. The charts represent the songwriting before the current release (when I realized I made mention of bones too often). The batch of songs before that were too frequently set on a road in America. Making pie charts has nothing to do with being good at math - I enjoy basic math from time to time, for sure, but that's it.

My best subject in school was politics. I am endlessly fascinated with how power works, the intersection between legal and social change, theory and practice. I will never get over reading history - how human and flawed, multilayered, sordid and utterly engaging it is ; and literature is in its own category. The writers and poets I love are everything to me.

MW : Do you have any superstitions?

BE : I try not to have, so no, not that I can think of. Knock on wood! I think I am superstitious about having superstitions. I worry that if I think that way, bad things will happen as a result. I try to operate with a balance of reason and faith. The world is scary enough without being superstitious.

MW : What’s the best slice of luck you’ve had so far?

BE: Two sons, hands down.

MW : What’s downtown Ithaca, NY usually like in Winter?

BE : Winter lasts about six months and downtown gets deserted. There is already a foot of snow outside and it’s only mid-November, so it looks like winter came a month early this year and in my soul it has already lost its charm.

I wrote ‘In My Room’, track #4 on the new record, looking out at my blooming crab-apple tree getting covered in a massive snowstorm in April. For six months, downtown Ithaca and its people try to make the best of it. The rest of the year we've got it made, humidity notwithstanding.

This city rests on the land of the Cayuga, and any season reveals this land's utter beauty and majesty - glacial hills and lakes and gorges. A cold six months requires resilience and builds character, but it is often spectacularly beautiful. A story about last winter: my band played a winter residency at our favorite club downtown, Casita del Polaris, and each installment featured a calamity: my lost voice, the mayor telling everyone to stay off the roads, our bass player breaking his leg, etc. I dragged myself to each show, because we had rehearsed our faces off to learn my whole catalog - three two-hour, all original different sets of music, none of which with songs from the new record. It felt crazy to go out in the cold, and I think the shows were on Thursdays, too.

Here’s the fundamental thing I learned last year about downtown Ithaca in winter : when you show up for art, throw energy into it with abandon for no good reason other than trying to make music for the sake of the sound, people show up to bear witness. I loved that residency.

MW : How is it for arts & culture?

BE : Ithaca has lovely, thriving, collaborative, multiple arts scenes - independent, national, underground, highbrow, it’s a good little town for being so isolated. Ithaca is a college town, so if you are willing to brave that scene you can absorb the arts and culture it brings. When I was growing up I was always up on those hills - I got to meet Vladimir Ashkenazi, and Mstislav Rostropovich - I played violin and sang in the Children's choir.

When I moved back to town ten years ago, I was blown away by all the bands and songwriters. It's a small enough city that I now consider many of the people I admired good friends and collaborators ; and there is a whole other layer of independent, younger artists through the “Ithaca Underground” that will always be cooler than me - for that I am thankful.

Ithaca is great in how these layers tend to cross pollinate, too. I can think of lots of examples.

MW : What was the last book, cd, film you bought/saw?

BE : With two small kids we really don’t get out much, but the last movie I saw in the theater was ‘Black Panther’ and damn that was good. I read all the time, currently ‘Team of Rivals’ about Abraham Lincoln.

At home we are collecting records - other than supporting musician friends and collaborators, the last record I loved completely was ‘Capacity’ by Big Thief.

MW : How will you / do you (usually) celebrate Christmas?

BE : With family, as you might expect, but my favorite holidays are Thanksgiving and the Winter Solstice. I love remembering all the descant lines to all my favorite Christmas carols, so if there is an opportunity to attend a midnight mass and sing those, I do. I appreciate this time of year as alternately decadent and reflective.

MW : Plans for 2019?

BE: Keep writing songs and other things - poems, essays, whatever. I am in a steady, long-game phase--raising small children, trying to do so with love and integrity. I keep the things that sustain me going, including creativity, but I am also going underground a bit after the release of this record. I am listening for what songs want to be written next, eager to hear them.

http://www.bronwenexter.com/

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aion-rsa · 7 years

Text

The Secret of BOOM! Box’s Success: Diverse, Hopeful Comics

Imprints are a tricky thing in comic book publishing. Pay attention to the industry long enough, and you’ll see plenty that come and go after an initial burst — or some stick around but noticeably divert from its original vision.

BOOM! Studios launched BOOM! Box in December 2013 with “The Midas Flesh” #1, from the team of writer Ryan North and artists Shelli Paroline and Braden Lamb. a href=”/tag/lumberjanes”>”Lumberjanes,” from Noelle Stevenson, Grace Ellis and Brooke Allen, followed a few months later, and soon became the line’s breakout hit. The stated goal of BOOM! Box upon its initial announcement was to “push the envelope with experimental content from some of the brightest, forward-thinking creators in comics today,” and the books have remained consistent with that initial promise, with a robust line of original series from the Los Angeles-based publisher.

EXCLUSIVE PREVIEW: “Lumberjanes” #37

Now, with “Lumberjanes” entering its fourth year later this month with issue #37, and John Allison, Max Sarin and Liz Fleming’s “Giant Days” hitting the issue #25 milestone this week — fairly lengthy runs in the relaunch-happy comics market — CBR talked in-depth with BOOM! Box founding editor (and “Lumberjanes” co-creator and co-writer) Shannon Watters and BOOM! Studios editor Dafna Pleban (editor of “Lumberjanes” and “Goldie Vance”) about the importance of providing “joyful, gleeful comics” targeted at a diverse audience, along with a look at the recently debuted “Coady and the Creepies” from Liz Prince and Amanda Kirk, and the May-debuting “Misfit City” by the writing team of Kiwi Smiith & Kurt Lustgarten, and artist Naomi Franquiz. Plus, CBR has the first look inside “Lumberjanes” #37, by Watters & Kat Leyh, and artist Ayme Sotuyo.

“Lumberjanes” #37 cover by Kat Leyh.

CBR: Shannon, Dafna, to start out, BOOM! Box has been around now for almost three and a half years, and a lot of imprints have come and gone in less time than that. Even BOOM! has had some trouble getting them to stick, but this one has. For both of you, from your perspectives, what do you see as what BOOM! Box has provided to the comics medium that was needed?

Shannon Watters: What we strive to do with BOOM! Box is provide really joyful, gleeful comics. Specifically, joyful, gleeful comics that are targeted not just at folks that are looking to show up and get the same old things that they’ve always gotten. It’s a perspective that I think a lot of folks in indie comics, especially webcomics, have been trying to put forward for years and years, and all we’re doing is attempting to amplify that for the mainstream comic book market.

Dafna Pleban: I think it also helps that it was, by accident or design — and I think it’s a little bit of both — a bit of counter-programming to what was happening in the stores at the time. I think we got really good momentum with KaBOOM!, and the “Adventure Time” comics, that showed there was an audience that is looking for something that is all-ages in a sense that anyone could read it, but not necessarily dumbed-down as if it’s only for kids. I think over time, other companies — IDW as well, and DC and Marvel — have been seeing that there’s an audience for people who want to be able to share this with anyone, not just people who are up to the last 20 years of canon.

That started bringing in enough people to take a chance on something like BOOM! Box, which was a bit older than all-ages, also more different kinds of readers, like women and teens — a more diverse audience that doesn’t necessarily find a work that speaks to them in the mainstream space. I think we kind of lucked out. There’s good stories to tell, there’s stories that haven’t been told a thousand times, and there was an audience that was already coming in for all this other good work that we and other publishers were doing, that were ready to try something new.

I’m sure you’ve experienced it on your end — there are some great books that get overlooked all the time, and everything about them works. The artist works, the writers work, what they’re trying to tell works. I can’t count — I think my favorite one recently was “Omega Men.” You look at Tom King, and he blew up right after that, and it’s not that it wasn’t good — it was amazing. It just hit at a point where people weren’t paying attention. And I think that book’s going to live on in trade. It’s weird to equate “Omega Men,” which is really dark and more adult-oriented, with “Lumberjanes,” but I think it’s a fair comparison to make. To some degree, we were really helped by people noticing at the right time, and telling their friends.

Watters: I said this a lot when we were getting the imprint off the ground: We wanted it to be kind of a clubhouse for everybody. We wanted it to be the cool kids’ clubhouse that everybody could join. We wanted everybody to be a part of it. That continues to be a guiding principle today.

“Giant Days” #25 cover by Max Sarin.

Certainly my guess is a big reason these books have been successful is that they’re appealing to an audience that is growing, but has often been underserved by mainstream comics. Is that a deliberate focus with the line?

Watters: Absolutely, 100 percent. There are a million places in this town where you can be a sad boy telling a sad boy story. That’s fine.

Pleban: I’m probably reading a lot of those!

Watters: That is the “mainstream.” We all have been raging against the machine re: the New York Times Best-Seller list taking their graphic novel list out of commission. It is a damn shame, because it was such a valuable tool for telling everybody the truth, which is the books that people are reading are by women and marginalized creators, and telling stories that are not about straight white men. Literally, the biggest contingent of people reading comics today are young women. Raina [Telgemeier] has been at the top of the New York Times Best-Seller list for how long? Years. Dominating. Multiple books.

What we’re talking about, we refer to direct market comic books as the “mainstream” comic book market, but that’s nonsense. It is not the mainstream market. It’s not. We are making the kind of books that serve the people that should have been served there for the last 10 years, and were not.

Pleban: The last time publishers remembered female readers exist was manga — 10 years [ago] is actually the last time a huge amount of women were welcomed into comic shops; comic shops started stocking manga. I think we have this cultural forgetfulness that women read comics and make comics, because at the end of the day, if you don’t make your space welcoming, if you stop offering the content, they’re not going to show up. I think BOOM! Box is tapping into an audience that’s hungry, and has been reading comics for ages.

I think you see that kind of genre reflected in the tone of BOOM! Box books. They tend to have the kind of — I call them “extreme swings of emotion” — that manga popularized. It helps give that whimsy to a medium that has been a bit navel gaze-y and serious for a couple years now.

Watters: Couple? Couple of years? Sure. Just a handful.

We’re approaching creators and doing the comics that we like, as queer women in 2017. Ask us about our agenda in comics. We could talk forever!

“Misfit City” #1 cover by Naomi Franquiz.

The New York Times Best-Seller list was such a good reality check to people in the direct market bubble. And in three and a half years of BOOM! Box, if you look back at the announcement of the line back in 2013, it’s striking to me that it seems like it’s remained very consistent — it’s grown, expanded, but that general mission statement appears to still be very much defining what a BOOM! Box release is. In what ways do you see the line as evolving, experiencing important growth, in that time?

Watters: I think as far as the mission statement, [it] has always been “make gleeful comics for everybody.” But I do think we’re narrowed our focus tonally to the kinds of comics we want to be making. Generally, they feature lady protagonists kicking ass in a variety positive ways. But that feels very derivative to reduce it to that.

It’s hopeful to write stories that exist in that space, because it gives you strength. Because the real world is not like that, it gives you strength to read stories about people who are living in that world, and who are able to tell their stories in that safe space. I think it’s very valuable and very important. We’re going to continue to refine our mission statement, and continue to get better at things that are goals for us, in line with our mission statement. It’s been quite a lovely few years, and I’m very happy with how it’s gone.

For whatever reason, I feel like hopeful stories are uniquely important in 2017.

Watters: No kidding. No flippin’ kidding. It’s hard times to make hopeful stories. Thank goodness this train is already on the track.

Pleban: We tend, for the longest time, to tell limited runs. BOOM! Box has most of our longest-running books, outside of “Adventure Time.” “Lumberjanes” is about to pass year four.

Watters: 36 issues. And it’s sold something like 800,000 units in single [issues].

“Giant Days” is going into its third year, and “Lumberjanes” is going into in its fourth year, which is massive, that there’s a market for that out there. They’re being sustained.

Pleban: “Goldie [Vance]” is going into its second.

Watters: It’s amazing.

Pleban: It’s rare for a lot of independent publishers to have ongoing, universe stuff, and we feel comfortable in that space.

Watters: I think BOOM! Box has always been this way, but has developed even more so over time; a very character-driven imprint. I have a unified theory of character in monthly comic books: Nobody comes back month after month for super-duper involved plots. You have all these big companies with these amazing characters that have been developed over years and years and years, and they just drown them in these over-complicated events and plots.

The reason that people come back to something every week, or even why somebody watches a television show every week, or comes back month after month for a comic book, is because they like spending time with these characters. That’s the thing we really feel strongly about at BOOM! Box. It matters less what Jo and April and Molly and Mal and Ripley are doing every month, because you enjoy hanging out with them.

“Coady and the Creepies” #1 cover by Kat Leyh.

BOOM! Box has had big hits like “Lumberjanes” and “Giant Days,” and also “Goldie Vance” and “Jonesy” as newer successes, but at the same time, it’s not easy for any new concepts — let alone an imprint that’s solely new concepts. What are some of the challenges you’ve experienced with the line? We talked about how some series appear to have everything going for them, but don’t find the audience they merit.

Watters: Obviously, any new series runs that risk. We try to engineer series that sell themselves. But obviously not every series is going to find a foothold or an audience that it deserves. However, I always feel like those series are learning experiences for both me and the creative teams, and if they touch someone the way that our mission statement wants people to be touched by our books — if somebody is affected or inspired by a series, and has discovered it because it was out through BOOM! Box, then it’s worth it. It is building a brand in a different way. Maybe we didn’t have a ton of readers on a series, but that reader who showed up feels seen and understood that they don’t in a lot of other contexts at a comic book shop, and that’s somebody who is going to come back. That is somebody who is going to come back for the next series, and the next series, as long as we’re doing our jobs right.

Launching a new series is always a challenge; always a gamble. But what I hope is that each series that we do continues to find a foothold — a very strong foothold — with some readers, and those readers trust us to be making content that feels true and relevant to them, and they’ll be back for the next one.

It’s always going to be a challenge. Every single part of it is a challenge. Comic book publishing is a horrible racket, and it’s always a challenge — but overcoming that challenge is a matter of self-examination, and learning from those experiences, and trusting that if you do honest, high-quality work, you will have touched someone and they will give you another shot.

Pleban: Also anxiety.

Watters: So much anxiety.

Pleban: I think what Shannon was able to do with BOOM! Box — BOOM! Box was Shannon’s baby, let’s be clear about that — is that it comes from such a specific point of view, and it’s an unconscious specific point of view. You can sometimes see when someone’s trying to tap into a zeitgeist, and it feels a little constructed, and it feels a little planned. I think what was helped with BOOM! Box is, Shannon just innately responds to people speaking their truth — which sounds like a collection of phrases, but it’s true. I think “Lumberjanes” is a very clear example of that. It helps that Shannon co-created it, but I can’t count on how many years Shannon talked my ear off about “Baby-Sitters Club” and I could care less, but then I see what she responded to in “Baby-Sitters Club” unconsciously filtered into something like “Lumberjanes,” and it makes 100 percent sense. I think every single book there you can tell comes from a place of, “This person has that story to tell, whether they realize it or not.”

On that subject, in the three-plus year history of BOOM! Box, are there specific titles that maybe readers didn’t check out as much as they should have, and should go back and take a look at?

Watters: I felt like Jake Lawrence’s “Teen Dog” should have gotten a zillion eyeballs on it. That’s the most lovely, honest, beautiful little book. It was very much a passion project for me, bringing that on to the imprint. I feel like if it launched at BOOM! Box today, it would have a much higher readership than it did. Same with “Help Us, Great Warrior.” Those are just two very intensely emotional honest and true and kind and powerful comics that I wish more people had checked out.

Let’s wrap by taking a look at the newer books coming out this year — Liz Prince has a new series from the line.

Watters: Yeah! We’ve got “Backstagers,” which has been just such a lovely book for us. Again, just people telling their truth, like James [Tynion IV] and Rian [Sygh] just telling their truth. “Jonesy” is wrapping, Sam [Humphries] and Caitlin [Rose Boyle] kicking butt on that.

We’ve got the new Liz Prince series, “Coady and the Creepies.” It’s such a pleasure. It’s one of those things, you don’t expect it until it comes together. It’s kind of a punk rock — if you know Liz’s earlier work, you��re going to love this. It’s very much her sensibility. It’s “Josie and the Pussycats” meets “Scott Pilgrim” meets all of Liz’s work over the years. It’s supernatural punk rockers trying to complete a pin quest, but one of them is a ghost. It’s just so fun and funny, and beautiful, and again, you just read it, and you’re like, “I love these characters. I just want to hang out with them. Let’s hang out every month.”

Then we’ve got “Misfit City” coming out in May. It’s going to be real good. If you’re a fan of very classic ’90s teen movies, you’ll really respond, I think, to this one. “SLAM!” is continuing, that’s just lovely as heck. I love girl friendships — I could just watch girls be friends all day long. As we’ve talked at length about, “Giant Days,” “Lumberjanes” and “Goldie Vance,” but I’m so proud of my little corner of the publishing world. I’m happy that people keep showing up for it. I really appreciate it.

“Giant Days” #25 is on sale this Wednesday, April 5. “Lumberjanes” #37 is scheduled for release on April 26.

“Lumberjanes” #37 interior page by Shannon Watters & Kat Leyh and Ayme Sotuyo

The post The Secret of BOOM! Box’s Success: Diverse, Hopeful Comics appeared first on CBR.

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